#honestly i love this man so much
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2025 is the year of the DRAGON SLIPPERS
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#kutsurogi my room#eyestrain#(just a little) (that purple is a beast)#happy new year everybody!#still catching up but i needed to bust in to be extremely validated about some anime slippers#I KNEW IT i knew he'd have some doofy footwear!!!!#they're even actually dragon slippers!#i just got the wrong end of the dragon. whoops.#god. i love this idiot so much.#lilia really does have the best character development huh#lilia 600 years ago: i exist only to defend my kingdom against humanity. (eats a frog without breaking eye contact)#lilia today: wah i stubbed my toe :( i can't find my eyelash curler :( the sun is too bright :(#(this is not a complaint i genuinely love this silly grampa)#most relatable groovy ever tbh#sigh. i gotta have a serious think about my keys now.#i didn't get ANY of the new cards (not even the srs...)#i did get bloom lilia(!!!) from the mission pulls so that kinda made up for it but now i'm like#weighing the odds that birthday malleus is going to be in sweatpants...#i just feel deep in my bones that this upcoming mal card is going to be the funniest yet#(and this is saying something considering his og card literally is wearing a little frilly sash that says 'birthday boy')#honestly though no matter what malleus wears it's going to be incredible#this man has such an intrinsic vibe of dark hooded cloakiness that whenever he wears anything else it's guaranteed hilarity#sometimes i like to think about how he just wanders around campus in his little blazer and tie and it's the best
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I could've been a better man, but I'm not
more lmhs megu bc i love him. he is here fr ur lunch money :>
jjk atla!au with @philosophiums
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#fanart#jjk fanart#fushiguro megumi#megumi#jjk atla!au#atla!au: art#atla!au: illust#lmhs#megu i love YOUUUUUUUU i have $2 in nickles and a crumpled receipt but its yours u can have it<3#i just . wanted 2 draw him fighting n looking menacing fgsfhsfk#we decided tht his bending style is an homage 2 his canon technique so ! Hands my beloved <3#had to pose in front of th mirror to get proper ref smh when will my kotobukiya hand return from war :(#honestly cruel tht we're doing this au Now before i have it JHSDG my life wld b so much easier re: bending ref if i did#well. ref fr everyone but yuuji rly#anywayyyy#decided 2 try smth different n leave the Base sketch visible ? i think i like it w th current style ive got going#makes it Soft n Sketchy#also im SO proud of my me ths the best upward tilt head angle ive ever drawn ?? n it didnt even give me any trouble????#character growth <3#*looks at clock* hey not bad ! 12:30 !#ws this....4 hours?? 5??? time blurs man idk
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Karlach and Wyll have great banter in general but sometimes you see something like this and you're like...now hold on a minute
#wyll ravengard#karlach cliffgate#wyll#karlach#bg3#bg3 datamine#first he disobeys his abuser for you with dire consequences for himself#and then he tells you EVERY DAY how glad he is you're here#bestest friend you could ever have honestly#wyll the man that you are#I love their relationship so much
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thinking about mizu from blue eye samurai. thinking. thinking so much. thinking about how mizu operates outside of gender. like we joke about her gender being revenge but straight up? it literally is. like she grew up as a boy and is most comfortable being a man, but behind that is the feeling of betraying himself because he isn't being honest about who he is and he lives in fear of being discovered. and when he lived as a woman, she found joy there as well. she fell in love, and though she wasn't good at it, she liked being a wife and enjoying a simple life. but in that life too, she isn't being honest about who she is. and when she reveals her true self, it's not a woman, she's a demon, a weapon. she's to masculine to be a woman, and too feminine to be a man. ultimately, mizu is most comfortable when they are being a murder machine. that's when they feel they are being the most true to themself. like a sword, they are neither man nor woman, but a blend of both, which makes them stronger.
#also there's a point to be made about how their identity as a mixed person plays a role in their gender#but i can't really speak on that#it's obvious tho#like that's what the show is about#like the reason mizu is perceived as masculine is because she's half white#honestly the racial thing is more important#which is why it's explicitly stated in the show#but im seeing a lot of discourse about mizu's gender#honestly a lot of mizu's relationship w gender is subtext#like good news tho!#mizu is a woman! but also a man!#it's both at the same time#anyway#ill shut up now#i just love her so much#not art#blue eye samurai#mizu#blue eye samurai mizu#bes mizu
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going to look at houses with one of the boys because yall need a bigger one with more rooms now that ale and rudy have officially joined the polycule and the agent is really working the kids angle for "you and your... husband?" and ofc it's johnny who goes with you and he's feeding into it by only referring to them as "the boys" that by the time you've settled on a house and you get the agent to do one last viewing so they can all come see, her head fucking explodes first when she sees "the boys" and again after they all take their turns giving you and johnny your initial smooches, and the smile on johnny's face tells you this couldn't have played out as perfectly even in his dreams
#poly boys#it's honestly really cute that johnny considers it this secret little tool in his arsenal#because he never thought he'd be lucky enough to have a single partner to actually see him and love him. and to have this many???#man is fucking overjoyed#he's going to keep getting as much fun out of it as he can#and even tho yall grumble about his shenanigans you can't help but love how happy he is about it all#johnny's out here like “oh no this won't do this room will be too far for simon he'll want to be closer”#and the agent is like “oh is he your youngest? it's always so hard to get them to sleep in their own rooms at first”#johnny viciously nodding along as you picture simon in the mom i frew up pose
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I think a lot about Leo standing up for his brothers in the things that really matter to them.
Like- Leo is the one who immediately pushes Mikey and Donnie into finding Raph the second it’s clear that their oldest brother is missing because he knows Raph can’t handle being separated like that.
Leo is the one who stands up for Mikey when Mikey wants to go on a solo mission, actively vouching for him and being the one to convince Raph into letting Mikey go, because being independent and proving himself just as capable of standing on his own two feet as everyone else means so much to Mikey.
And Leo defends Donnie’s honor in particular when his brothers’ intelligence is insulted because Leo is well aware of how important Donnie’s smarts are to him - and how important having those smarts valued and acknowledged is as well.
All this goes right into just how well Leo knows his brothers. For as much as he’ll tease or fight with them, he knows them, and he loves them.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rottmnt headcanons#rise leo#listen Leo loves his family SO MUCH#and like it’s no accident that Leo is consistently the one to give pep talks that#very notably#are less ‘everyone as a group’ and more ‘all of you individually’#it’s heartening to see honestly and like#it works with how he is as both a person and as a fighter#he knows people he knows them so well he knows how they work what they’re like#which is SO USEFUL for subterfuge AND portal/teleportation strategy#my guy is charming his charisma comes from his understanding of people at an individual level#when he wants to be he is very very good at that#he’s still a teen who is too cocky for his own good at times but that does not negate his stellar other moments#he can be selfish he can be mean he can be rude but when push comes to shove he is so quick to stand up for his family#Mikey’s statement at the end of the movie about how Leo NEVER gave up on THEM is so important because it’s not JUST about the movie!!#that’s Leo as a whole he will never give up on his bros#portal jacked is telling of this too because although it has a lot of comedic moments#never once does Leo stop looking for a way to get his bros back#they’re everything to him#he’s the face man he’s a people person and he’s the number 1 pet turtle which I will discuss the implications of in this essay-#Will also say that when Leo does these moments of standing up for his bros he’s never expecting praise for it#he’s just glad they find Raph he just smiles when Mikey tells him he loves him he never mentions defending Donnie#leo has a tendency to show off fancy glittery moves but his real actions and feelings are sooo much more lowkey#that you have to be actively looking for them to catch them all#and I really really like that about him it’s so interesting HE is so interesting
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Hey if Deathbit ain’t scorched to hell in 97 I’m gonna be disappointed. I’ll draw that too. Obviously. Asap. Till then, comic Deathbit
#gambit#gambit xmen#remy lebeau#remy#my love#that man is a Wife and I will not be taking criticism#thank you very much#anywho#death?#Death xmen#deathbit#x men 97#xmen 92#ugh I wanna kiss him#he’s tall and nice#Cat dad#you got another thing comin if you think that ain’t gonna make me like him more#also!#the Antarctica debacle?#Honestly super sexy of him#dick move by the xmen#but BOY if he weren’t a determined lil fucker#so cheery in those recordings he left#make me wanna#on GOD
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There's something so wondrously momentous about Style only saying his "I love you" now, when he realises that all the secrets he was keeping from Fadel are already laid bare.
He says this a significant time after Fadel has said his (and, in the context of the wider narrative, after Kant and Bison) and for the character we have seen as prone to glibness, exaggeration and flippancy with his words, that feels incredibly intentional.
Because this confession was the only truth Style had left to give.
Fadel is finally done playing his (poorly thought out) game, done with his (already cracking at the seams) charade, done with giving Style more opportunities to pull at his heartstrings with his earnestness lies.
Fadel is demanding the truth, and tells Style exactly what truth he wants to hear.
And the thing is, there is truth in this: Style's motivations at the start were wrapped up in a deception specifically targeting Fadel.
I know we, as a fandom, harp on about Style "doing all that for a car", but something I would like us all to revisit is what Kant actually says to Style when he first asks Style to "hit on" Fadel:
Kant: You need to help me. You know I don't usually feel this way about someone. And then shortly later, after Style refuses: Kant: Hey, hold on. (Kant grabs Style's hand.) What do I have to do to for you to help me out? Should I pay you?
(Please forgive my inability to gif and watch Style's reaction to this.) Style is visibly surprised and intrigued. Kant seems to be serious about this request, and I think Style decides to test just how important it is to Kant by asking for the one thing he knows Kant will not give up.
Just look the expressions on Style's face. We didn't have the context of knowing Style back then as well as we do now, but this is the look Style gets when he's throwing out a challenge (to Fadel), when he's trying to ferret out some new insight (from Fadel), when he wants to see how someone (Fadel) will react to whatever outlandish (provocative) thing he's said or done.
And when Kant agrees, Style even checks again if Kant is serious about going through with it -- and it's this that convinces Style of the sincerity of Kant's request.
Yes, the car was a factor, and yes Style also wanted revenge and to humble Fadel, but at the centre of Style's motivation has always been a plea for help from a friend.
In episode 1: Kant: Under one condition. You have to make him head over heels in love with you. Style: I'll do it. Not just for the car, but someone like him needs to be humbled by someone like me.
But in agreeing to help Kant, Style really was damning Fadel to play the fool because Fadel's feelings (his heart) was a commodity that Style was fully willing to play with back then.
And there are aspects of truth here too. When Kant tells Style about Fadel (and Bison) being hitmen, Style decides he's done and wants out. Kant reasons that it's more dangerous for Style to break up with Fadel now, because it would look suspicious, but crucially this isn't enough to convince Style.
So Kant, once again, makes the plea to friendship and to his need for Style specifically, and it is this that causes Style to finally cave.
But in doing so, the things that Style agrees to are:
Kant: Work with me. Help me get more information about them. Once we get that, it's done. Captain puts them in jail, and we walk free.
So while Style may not be directly working with the police, he is working with Kant who he knows is working with the police. By proxy, Style is involved with the police, but in front of the empty pool, he makes it clear to Fadel just what that involvement actually entailed:
Style: Kant asked me to take you out so you could leave him alone and he could freely investigate. Fadel: What did he get out of it? Style: I don't know! That ain't my business! All I was asked of is to take you out.
And this, too, actually is true! Since finding out, Style has literally not discovered a single thing that could be remotely useful to the police investigation:
He's found out that Fadel likes to gym at night. He's found out that Fadel uses tenderloin in his burgers. That he runs in the morning before going to the market. That he attends a grief support group.
But these were all things Kant also already knew and could have given the police if it were in any way useful for the investigation.
Even his attempts to get Fadel to confess to his "other job" (something the police also already know) were clearly in service of wanting to save Fadel and/or convince him to give up the life of crime in the hopes that Fadel wouldn't have to be sent away from Style to prison.
But the truths are tangled up in misunderstandings and Fadel's own assumptions now; and also further tainted again by Bison's own hurt over Kant's betrayal. And Fadel literally cannot see -- because his eyes are filled with tears [see: @thisautistic's gifset + my tags] (good grief, Joong, the actor you are) -- the honesty Style is bleeding from the marrow of his bones.
Because the truth is that along the way Style has also found out that Fadel is a good older brother. That Fadel is still hurting and bleeding inside because his parents were murdered. That Fadel wears his favourite bands' make up in secret because he cannot bear the thought of other's judgement. He's found out that Fadel misses Style, wants Style, and hates himself for it. That Fadel is afraid to love. That Fadel is acutely aware of his own darkness and cannot comprehend an existence that would not involve someone (Style) rejecting it. That Fadel does not believe that 100% trust is possible, but that he will get himself drunk so that he can offer Style as much vulnerability as he can physically make himself give.
Because the things that Style did find out were all the ways Fadel's heart is soft and tender and precious and worthy worthy worthy of all the love Style has to give.
And Style will stand firm on this truth because this is the only thing he has left to give Fadel.
Because Fadel knows, now, all the ways Style was unworthy of his trust, but crucially has not figured out the most important truth:
Because in all the ways that Fadel has ever known he should want, Style actually IS worthy of his trust. Style knows the truth Fadel is hiding, knows what this man is capable of, knows the danger of being in his arms, knows the likely nonexistent future Fadel has to offer him -- and wants him anyway. -- Quoted from my meta post on the "One day, I'll be your 100%" line.
And as I alluded to in the tags on @yinwaring's insightful post: Style fully embodies the belief he espouses; because even in the face of a gun to his head and Fadel threatening to kill him if he will not admit that this, too, is a lie, Style refuses to give Fadel anymore dishonesty.
And this is because Style knows that the truth matters; now more than ever.
Because Style has had days to grapple with his worry after Fadel's disappearance. Style has had a week's worth of checking the diner only to face the regret he feels about not handling things differently. Style has had to recognise the terror of thinking he had lost something he never even knew he wanted in the first place.
And while Fadel had his realisation back in episode 4, Style never had to face this until Fadel vanished from his life and left a gaping hole in the shape of the absence of Fadel's smile.
So if this is what it takes, if this is the penance that Fadel demands of him, then it is a price Style is most happy to pay.
Because Fadel does not realise is that Style, too, now knows what it means to lose a love worth fighting for.
And in the war Fadel now feels compelled to wage against Style (because, yes, that's definitely still going on), the one damning thing Fadel has failed to recognised is that his only true weapon was leaving Style behind.
Which is why Style has already won. Not because Fadel's walls have crumpled again or because they don't still have a ton of things to talk through and work out (they really, really do), but because Style has already been stripped bare (and I mean this literally, like we all recognise THAT was the reason why Dunk is only in boxer shorts in that scene, right?? Like, I know we were joking about it, but seriously, that was so very intentional and a visual representation of Style being both stripped and, most importantly, freed from the lies he felt compelled to tell Fadel) and this means he has nothing holding him back.
And Fadel can wield his gun and his words and his anger and his hurt, but Style will die on the hill of the truth that he knew and understood and chose to love Fadel anyway, and saved this last confession for when he knew he could tell Fadel the truth without any lingering deception; and when the time is right, when Fadel is finally ready, Style will be there to welcome him back with open arms and, without any hesitation, an open heart.
#the heart killers#the heart killers the series#thk ep 7#fadelstyle#stylefadel#fadel#style sattawat#thk meta#fadelstyle meta#style sattawat meta#joongdunk#hui talks thk#hui talks thai bl#i know everyone is probably so sick of me saying this but style is so utterly earnest and honest and GUILELESS and i adore him so much#and i know episode 7 was sad in many ways but it left me honestly feeling so TRIUMPHANT because style is finally FREE!!#he's free of the last obligation to the promise he made to kant#he's free from the guilt of lying to fadel and actively doing nothing to protect the man he was learning to care for#he's finally finally free to love fadel; simply and truthfully and earnestly and with his whole entire heart#and it will be like nothing fadel's fragile heart has ever experienced and everything he never knew he could have#and i am SO SO SO fucking EXCITED for that!!!!#// ALSO can we talk about how CLEARLY dunk makes the distinction between when style is being earnest and when he's intentionally#being playful/glib/exaggerating something??#like its so drastically different and idk i really appreciate how obvious it is because when he dials it down it feels very very real#like i don't just mean “quiet” because style is loud when he's explaining himself at gunpoint#but he's very honest in every single moment in this scene#and i feel like that really comes through -- not only because he is scared of the gun fadel is threatening him with#but also because he wants to and moreover has no good reason not to tell the full truth now#because if fadel knows then bison knows and that means kant's gig is up too#so yeah... style is free to finally follow his heart in its entirety and you can actually see that clearly in the pool scene
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quick cooldown doodle of my favorite guy after busting my ass on zine pieces
#chris doodles#ive been in the zine trenches the past week#but im out of them now#just final touchups#the zine is the HGCZ btw#i did a giant comic#it's sick as hell honestly#very excited to tease and show it soon#i cant say much but! soon! B)#oh yeah#black leg sanji#that's him thats the guy in the picture#man he's so cool#i love you sanji#one piece
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guess who finished tlok tonight and immediately had this come to him in a vision!!!!
#i. really like tlok. like a lot#i understand why people dont like it#and i can accept that OBJECTIVELY its not that great#but i had a fantastic time with it#anyways yeah. gay people#tbh. would not call zhu li and varrick normal. most queer straight couple on the planet.#hes a gay man. shes a lesbian. theyre in love. do you get it.#i dont have that many thoughts abt wuko. i really really like it though.#wu is like the webkinz milk cat to me. i need to throw him against a wall really hard.#and of course. korrasami. what is there to even say there#one thing i will say is before watching it i TOTALLY thought asami was a fire bender and also evil#like i kept thinking “yep this is when she turns evil and then theres enemies to lovers” but nope#not a bender or evil and honestly im glad#she totally wouldve been justified in becoming evil though. i sure wouldve#love her.so much#korra too ofc#i have SO MANY more thoughts but im gonna run out of space#last thing i will say is i am a guy who will just always prefer media i can criticize#love atla. but theres nothing there for me to really sink my teeth into or like bitch about#i love it when media is KIND OF BAD and i can RANT ANGRILLY about it#the legend of korra#tlok#legend of korra#korrasami#wuko#zhurrick#korra#asami sato#mako tlok#prince wu
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My Bear-Paw succulent is turning into a little tree!!! :D
Three years ago it used to be a single tiny stem with leaves, and it's still insane to me how much it's grown in that time!!
My baby's growing up 🥺❤️
#plants#botany#succulents#plantblr#house plants#cotyledon tormentosa#bear-paw succulent#this is my little baby <:#i love them so much#honestly I can't believe how fast it's grown#like holy fuck man
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Since book 7 part 5 (the part where we meet Meleanor/Maleanor 👀) is coming to EN this month, i would love to see your take on lilia’s proposal to meleanor! i mean they were like little kids right? it couldn’t have been that serious…i think the only reason she even brought it up again is because she could tell lilia still genuinely loved her…(even if he didn’t realize it himself?) but, oh well! Let’s think about silly childhood shenanigans to numb the pain! ^_^ (orz)
oh shit?! get ready for a doozy guys, it's comiiiiiing ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
I chickened out of posting the whole thing (look, I get VERY carried away when it comes to these wacky kids and their Tragedy), but I do believe that it probably ended with Lilia getting embarrassed and just shoving the first thing he sees into his mouth to try and cover for it.
(we're just lucky it wasn't a frog this time)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 5 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 5 spoilers#please excuse the Dissertation that's about to happen (i have too much headcanon about them)#they've been ambiguous about most of the fae aging/developmental stages (plus lilia and mel's species age differently)#so this is entirely me assuming based on context#but i think that lilia being ~99 was probably about the equivalent of 9-10ish?#(i don't think his age maps perfectly onto 'human age times 10') (if only because i absolutely do not believe general lilia is 29)#(but in this case it feels right to me)#and i think of meleanor as being just slightly older (like ~11-12ish)#so like...kids but not LITTLE-little kids#so i think lilia was serious in a 'i have a huge crush on you and i haven't thought beyond that' kind of way#and meanwhile mel was more cognizant of how their dynamic was basically#lilia: i would die for you#meleanor: that's dumb#(lilia 600 years later: man she was right. that was dumb.)#but yeah I think she might've assumed (or hoped) he would grow out of it#except whoops oh no it just got worse#and then raverne made things MORE complicated and you know honestly maybe getting murdered was kind of a relief#meleanor in heaven: well at least he won't accidentally raise my kid to have the exact same -- are you kidding me#(i have too many thoughts to express properly i'm sorry) (i just. love these morons a lot okay.)
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no because it's the way Tommy sits through that frankly disASTER of an explanation by Evan "ally" Buckley and STILL FLIRTS WITH HIM AFTER
they're literally so cute idk who you are, I am ROOTING FOR THIS RELATIONSHIP
#911 abc#i remain a buddie truther#i stand by that it is the only reasonable conclusion#but tommybuck is just 🥰🥰🥰#i actually love them#im so supportive of this relationship#honestly id be supportive of ANY man Buck dated pretty much#but actually tommy is great and i am glad that he's buck's first boyfriend#good vibes#he's not pushing buck on anything before he's ready#he is fully aware and respects that buck's on his self journey#and i love it#tommy kinard the man that you are#911 season 7#evan buckley#tommy kinard#bucktommy
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Picture this; Bones holding Joanna, rocking her to sleep and the part in Beautiful Boy where it’s like “The monster's gone, He's on the run, And your daddy's here” is playing. :,)
Fatherhood gives you certain... skills. Coincidentally, this is also how Jim finds out that Bones sings.
:'))
#star trek#star trek fanart#star trek aos#star trek alternate original series#jim kirk#jim t kirk#leonard mccoy#bones mccoy#leonard bones mccoy#joanna mccoy#mckirk#mckirk fanart#ship or platonic? up to you#this sort of ties in to another thing ill be posting soon. but only sort of?? mainly it's joanna's design and symbols lol#yes joanna has character symbols im a little bit insane and a huge nerd#this is when jim decides he HAS to woo that divorced dad lmao#THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASK ANON ILYSM. im so happy with where this ask took me and i hope you enjoy!!#what is jim dreamjng about you ask? well. The colours are a reference sorta actually but iykyk (aos lore?)#this hit me in so many different feels. SO MANY. im a changed man because of this ask anon i am in your debt#im so in love with all of your brains btw. the reqs yall send in are so so good#honestly if youre a recurring anon feel free to leave a calling card or something. i would love to shake you adoringly by some sorta name#happy first contact day!!
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I STAND FUCKING CORRECTED AND I WILL ISSUE MR. BRIDGERTON A HAND WRITTEN APOLOGY, THIS WAS NOT A ONE-SIDED BEEF
This edit here has opened my eyes bc I wasn't paying attention to Debling at ALL during this scene. There was an acknowledgement that they both wanted Pen, Debling here thought he was the winner. Debling was the first to interrupt rudely in the middle of a conversation, breaking an important moment, Colin was just more scansalous about it when it came his turn, interrumpting them mid-dancing
The way he looks at Colin both times, I thought he was just polite the first time but nah, he was smug, Colin sweety I'm so sorry I gaslighted you, you kinda had other valid reason to dislike him😭
#you could argue debling couldnt know colin was about to confess but be so fr look at the way that man was breathless and leaning down#not anti debling bc I just fkund his smugness on his eyes in this scene interesting cant believe i never noticed#i saw another clip the other day of when debling ask pen who should he ask for her hand and imo he looked like he wanted to kiss her before-#he caught himself#im a he may not have loved her but he sure af wanted her thruther#im also a debling would have fallen for Pen in time but Pen would never grow to love him as much as she lived Colin thruther#pebling is a ship with so much angst potential honestly#pebling#polin
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Ya know what occurs to me?
Karai Bari is in the New World.
Crocodile and Mihawk only showed up after the establishment of the delivery service.
Buggy was in Paradise. Marineford would have been in Paradise, I think, or at least Buggy's crew still was.
He doesn't have conquerors to cross the calm belt.
So... to get to the New World and set up shop, he'd have to have gone through Fishman Island, wouldn't he? So he'd had to have gotten the ship coated.
He'd likely have had to face Rayleigh or at least he'd have anticipated it - maybe Shanks even mentions Rayleigh hanging around there, maybe even mentioning him having NEVER missed Shanks passing through....
So when Buggy goes when Buggy expects to be found and claims to be dreading it and is but is also so hopeful so scared so broken so hesitant he's got a few different courses figured for how this will go down.
Only.... Rayleigh isn't there. Shakky is. She just directs them to another coater. Buggy fights himself, wants to ask, doesn't want to beg, and-
Shakky answers the question he couldn'tdislodge from his throat. "Sorry, baby blue, Ray's just working on something real important. You know how it is."
He does. He does know how it is. Important, huh? That's fine. It's probably a job. It's probably not that big of a deal that dad master Rayleigh is preoccupied. Buggy shouldn't have expected the man to drop everything and come running why did he think that, Rayleigh never did it before, not even Shanks' assurance he'd leave a message for Rayleigh would change much, and fuck he can't afford to cry so-
So Buggy gets the ship coated. It's not as pricy as he'd worried. He navigates them down, can even bring himself to smile at the wide eyed wonder from the rest. It's nice. He's fine here - these are his people. He's okay, really, and he'll be able to let this go or shove it into that nameless box in his head and heart soon enough. He just has to ride the wave, you know-?
Only no. Not really. Because a newspaper lands in his hands. And his brain is racing.
Because Rayleigh wasn't at Sabaody at all. He was with Strawhat. He was training Strawhat. He showed up, after the war, so close to the conflict, to train the kid. Rayleigh is fast, but not that fast. He'd have to have left around a week before Buggy even arrived. Shanks had assured him Rayleigh was there when he dropped by ((two weeks ago)). He knew because his brother had wrapped him in his arm and tears were shed, voices were raised and hearts were broken, wounds torn open to drain the festering rot and the healing hurt, it hurt then, it hurts now, it will hurt and hurt and hurt, because Buggy had pushed the Big Top to her near limits just to reach the archipelago that his former guardian ex-father previous family that Rayleigh called home. Shanks had called him, said he'd dropped the message and Rayleigh had chuckled and nodded and Buggy wanted to see his dad because there were still so many scars that had to be seen and acknowledged and Buggy himself wasn't even fully recovered physically but emotionally he had to do it, had to take the step and try because vulnerability brought the best and worst of him out, because he lost a brother and gained him back and he wanted for his father, at least one of them.
But Strawhat was on that front page. And Rayleigh was behind him, smiling, warm, proud, happy, and - Buggy aches. He's angry. He's livid. A week or so, by his estimate, for Rayleigh to find him and get there to the war ground. A week or so because Rayleigh was old but he was still painfully fast. In a week or so, the older man hunted down a boy he'd possibly met once or twice in passing. A week or so and The Dark King showed up to bring another strawhat wearing monster of epic proportions under his wing, had made impressive time in finding the kid, making the plan, getting to the navy hq, getting out, and that's accounting for the article writing, printing, and distribution.
A week or so to find a bright little sunshine boy he barely knew when one he raised rotted in a cell for months on end.
Busy with something real important, he recalled Shakky saying.
His chest burned for a moment, hot and wild and unyielding - and just as suddenly, the fire was gone. He was tired. He was so fucking tired. His injuries throbbed, his head hurt, his scars itched. He sighed, set the paper aside and curled impossibly small into his chaise lounge with a teary chuckle as he gripped his hair and tried to silence the keen building in his chest. He cursed himself for it, bitter and angry.
After all, he should be used to being outshined, out classed and out loved by energetic boys with bright smiles in little wicker crowns.
Story of his life
He is unaware of the many eyes on him, of the people Plotting and Arranging things on their own time. Their captain is the best - uncommon, unexpected, temperamental though he is, he is everything everyone needs him to be because it's the only thing he knows how to do. They see the seams in his mask and performance, and they ache to pay back the pain left on their captain, their boss, their leader and friend. Buggy pirates stick together, freaks and weirdos united - and nobody is allowed to hurt their captain without some serious followup.
#buggy the clown#buggy d. clown#*smacks my blorbo* you can fit so much projection into this bad boy!!!#honestly i can see Buggy as kinda.... fixating on luffy a luttle#in a surrogate sense#personally? clown is petty ngl but 1v1 he actually likes and respects the brat#he refuses to acknowledge that though#if anyone asks it's On Sight#the yearly battle to the death with his nephew is non negotiable#but Luffy also is a walking Trigger to Buggy#oh no wouod be a SHAME if i used my favorite charavter to explore therapeutic growth aince i can't afford therapy!!!!#the HORROR#also buggy anf Shanks as brother for this one bc AAAAAA#sibling shuggy#they've got The Range#also it's so funny when you think of it#shanks: wow i love my little brother so glad I have him again#also Shanks: excuse me is a mafia man fucking my brother and my ex???? what???????????? IS MY EX FUCKING MY BROTHER??????????????????? WHAT-#cross guild polycule
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