#honestly i have not tagged anyone for anything cause I'm so nervous

[monsterrae1]

✨Inspiration saturday ✨

Tagged by @tizniz @spotsandsocks @loserdiaz @buckaroosheart @disasterbuckdiaz

I'm trying very hard to finish demon Buck just cause it's been sitting on my drafts forever and honestly i'm even dreaming about it, so yeah here have a moodboard.

Tiny snippet to go with it:

“Everything okay?” Eddie asked, taking his hand and pulling him into the house.

“Yeah, I just, wasn’t sure you’d want me around so soon after I dumped all my trauma on you last night,” He was chewing his lip in a nervous way, his eyes refusing to meet Eddie’s.

“Why wouldn’t I? Besides you didn’t dump anything on me, I asked you to share.”

Buck nodded, “You trusted me to take care of Chris and I turned into a sob story, I shouldn’t have done that.”

Eddie sighed, “You also fed him, and kept him entertained all afternoon, and happy; I should’ve asked if you were okay with watching him before even asking you, I’m sorry I didn’t think about that.”

Buck finally looked up to him and tilted his head like a confused puppy, “You’re too kind to me, Eddie.”

Eddie shook his head, “C’mon, we can watch a few episodes of Supernatural before we need to pick up Chris.”

Buck groaned just like Eddie knew he would, complaining that the show was so inaccurate it made his infernal blood boil.

“Complain all you want bud, one of their rituals is what brought you here.”

“Whatever,” He said, rolling his eyes and pressing play on the TV. 

Tagging if they have anything they'd like to share: @hoodie-buck @buddierights @honestlydarkprincess @bigfootsmom @underwater-ninja-13 @heartshapedvows @eddiebabygirldiaz @prettyboybuckley @rogerzsteven @elvensorceress @malewifediaz @watchyourbuck @spaceprincessem @spagheddiediaz @hippolotamus and anyone else who wants to (i'm blanking so hard rn on everyones url im sorry)

[james-is-here]

Maybe, maybe, just maybe

Some unrequited love between m reader and Jackson wang. Reader confesses his love to Jackson but Jackson just says sorry and leaves reader standing there alone sad and upset (I’m thinking reader is a soloist who has a lot of friends in the industry and he’s performing at Coachella) days later before he goes on stage he sees 88risings performance and sees Jackson and bibi perform together and gets upset cause he thinks they’re a thing (side note their chemistry on stage was so omg) and he gets sad so on stage he performs an unreleased sad song and after the performance he runs off crying and ends up finding comfort in the arms of another 👀👀👀👀 that’s all I got pooks 👀🖤👀🖤👀🖤

Umm...first time writing outside Stray Kids, incredibly nervous but thank you for sending a request ☺️😬😖 I had to do so much video research and just research in general cause I didn't know much about what you wanted, that's how I learned Atarashii was at Coachella

I'm actually really scared this isn't good cause I've honestly barely gone out of my writing zone with SKZ so if it's bad I'm really sorry.

Tags: Very nervous writing cause I try to make everything perfect 😅, short, Wise words from Han's father (Tiger JK😂), Fading Echoes is a fake song name...um...yeah, idk what else. I inserted Chan cause I couldn't help myself.

Side note: If anyone wants to be tagged when I post, lmk! I can definitely add you!

You stood backstage at Coachella, your heart pounding with anticipation. As a k-pop soloist, this was a dream come true, performing at one of the world's biggest music festivals. But amidst the excitement, your thoughts kept drifting to Jackson Wang, your friend and fellow idol.

When Jackson finally appeared in your line of sight, a smile lighting up your face, your nerves intensified. This was his chance to finally confess, it's been years and you can't stomach the nervous churning bubbles in your stomach anymore whenever you're with you friend. "Jackson" You call out and he makes his way over to you.

"Can I tell you something? It's important." Jackson's expression is curious as he tilts his head at you. "Sure, Mn. What's on your mind?"

Taking a deep breath, you gathered as much of your courage you can muster. "I... I have feelings for you. I've been wanting to tell you for a while now."

For a moment, there was silence, and your heart raced with anticipation as you felt like if you bite your lip nervously any more it may bleed. But then Jackson spoke --the churning of your stomach swirling tenfold-- his face was covered with a look of shock at your admission before it was taken over by a look of sympathy or awkwardness, you couldn't tell, his voice gentle yet firm. "Mn, I'm sorry, I-" Is all he said with a sigh before he looked away and just walked away.

With those few little words, your world felt like it shattered, your eyes wide and mouth dropped open as you watched in disbelief as Jackson just walked away, leaving your standing alone, feeling utterly rejected even though he didn't say anything but you could still tell, he's your friend, you know his answer or thoughts before he speaks them. That's what hurt though, apparently you've been focused on the wrong guy...

A while later, despite your lingering hurt, you put on a brave face as you enjoyed the other performers. You watched the artists of 88Rising perform, getting to say a small hello to Atarashii Gakko as they went on stage, and you felt a pang of jealousy when you later saw Jackson interacting with Bibi, you thought they looked way better together then you and Jackson would, along with feeling the need to be sick, but at your own self for thinking confessing to Jackson was a good idea.

When it was your turn to perform, you changed your set and performed 'Fading Echoes', a song you always thought was too melancholy for your usual upbeat or sensual songs. As you finished, tears threatened to spill from his eyes, and he fled the stage, seeking solace in the anonymity of the backstage area.

There, you ran into Tiger JK, another artist he admired. "Hey, Mn, right?" "U-Um, Yeah, sorry for running into you." You bow deeply before standing upright. "You okay?" "Um...." "It's okay if it's too personal. Your song out there was so...powerful." "Really? Kinda thought it sucked from my other stuff." "No, it was really good. I could feel the emotions." He tilts his head, looking over your face before placing a hand on your shoulder. "I can also see your emotions, you sure you're okay?"

Taking a deep breath, you shake your head. "Um, sort of? I...I confessed to my friend that I liked him...all he did was apologize and walk away..." JK hums to himself. "I still like him though but...now I don't even know if our friendship still exists."

Tiger JK listened patiently as you poured out your heart before speaking with his arm wrapping around your shoulder. "Mn, you sound like an amazing guy. So what if one dude doesn't like you but you shouldn't chase after someone who can't see your worth."

You nodded, your heart heavy yet strangely lighter at the same time. As Tiger JK tightened his arm and gave you a tight side hug, you couldn't help but feel grateful for his kindness.

"Y'know, you remind me of someone." "I do?" "Absolutely. His name is Chris." "Chris?" "Or Chan. I think you two would get along great, plus he's an idol as well." You easily fall into another conversation which was mainly JK telling you about his friend.

Though, you couldn't stop but think if it was worth keeping Jackson as a friend. You've known him for a long time but after your rejected confession, it feels too awkward.

You'll think about it later though, cause your brought back from your thoughts when JK offers you his phone with a picture of him and another guy, maybe the same age as you, and when JK tells it that it's Chan, you forget about Jackson, cause honestly JK's friend is...cute.

mmmmm this is bad, I'm sorry. Well, no, it's...okay. Honestly I'm not proud of this but it's good, I think, and I hope you liked it 😬

I feel disappointed in myself and idk why but no, it's good, I'm stepping out of my stray kids comfort zone even though it feels weird.

[bisexualchrissycunningham]

hellcheer for the ship asks!!! 💗

SO glad you asked, buddy! As usual, I have so much to say lol.

when I started shipping it if I did: The forest scene of course!!! It changed lives. Her quick death was a punch to the gut though and it took until I finished Volume 1 and was on Tumblr looking through tags that I started thinking more deeply about them. I joined a discord server a few weeks later and the hyperfixation was in full effect. 

my thoughts: They’re soulmates and that’s that.

what makes me happy about them: I don't know how to word this in the way I want to, cause I don't want it to be a "they complete each other" thing BUT they each have these personality traits and skills that the other lacks and it's just so complementary of them, you know? She's quiet and reserved and sad but stubbornly hopeful and optimistic about people, while Eddie is boisterous and feeds off attention and is cynical about the world yet softened so immediately in Chrissy's presence. They give each other things they need but could never find before they found each other. 

what makes me sad about them: They're canonically dead. Eddie could never save her in the way he wished he could. They never got to do ketamine together and kiss a lil.

things done in fanfic that annoys me: I'm always nervous to answer questions like this, but here is one of my big secrets: I hate when Eddie calls Chrissy Chris. I have such a firm headcanon that Eddie knew it's what Jason called her, and he specifically avoided it because of that. His reasons are twofold: cause he connects the nickname with the way Chrissy always shrunk herself in Jason's presence, and cause of some inner neanderthal instinct that makes him wanna avoid anything to do with the love of his life's ex. It's inevitable that the first time he calls her that in any fic, in my head, I hear it in Jason's voice from the time he said in on the show and it always takes me out of the fic. It's not something that will make me stop reading at all, but it's definitely a mental block where I actually have to work to imagine it the way it's intended.

things I look for in fanfic: 

Fastburn! I can do slowburn of course, but my idea of Hellcheer is that they fall so fast and so deep that it's what makes the most sense. 

Chrissy developing strong female friendships in the background is super important to me.

In future fics, Eddie being super content and fulfilled having a normal non-rock star life in my absolute jam.

Super emotionally charged character-driven sex.

who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: No one else. I can play around with Chrissy having a few other relationships with Kali, Eden or Robin, and Eddie having a lil thing with Jonathan when they were younger, but I don’t believe either of them could or would ever love anyone like they do each other, and they would never be fulfilled in a relationship with anyone else.

my happily ever after for them: There are so many potential happily ever afters for them! Honestly, anything that involves Chrissy healing and finding herself, Eddie making peace with the chip on his shoulder and finding a way to feel like he's enough just as he is, and them having many years to know and love each other.

who is the big spoon/little spoon: Just due to their literal bodies, Chrissy is usually the little spoon, but she loves switching it up and holding him in her lap. It comforts them both.

what is their favorite non-sexual activity: Playing music & writing songs together after Chrissy has learned to play guitar. Talking in bed when they're both falling asleep but they've been too busy to connect very much lately so they're both trying hard to stay awake and give themselves a moment together. Eddie loves cooking for Chrissy (she likes giving him kisses while he's doing it). Making up outrageous life stories about strangers they see in public. Chrissy loves pranking Eddie cause he never sees it coming. I know this was supposed to be just 1 favorite activity but they love doing ALL the things together, ok????

[yourfavoritewriter69]

Unhealthy Obsession

a/n hiii angels! sorry for the wait im backkk and i will have the next chapter out soon if you want to be apart of the tag list let me know and i will add you:)) Updated: hi pookies I'm in the car rn traveling to Louisiana from cali so i have alot of time on my hands to try and finish some stories that are in my drafts:) btw dont be shy request stuff:))

tag list: @quicksilversg1rl @pearls4valentine @adamsbubblegumbitch @urhotfathdr

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

part one

part two

part three

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

tw: 18+ If you don't like smut then please don't read… beyond this there is partying, underage drinking and smoking, adult language, sex, fingering, touching, and kissing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

part four: time of my life

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You had just walked out the front door just in time for Charlie to be pulling up. You walked over to his car about to get the door when he gets out and walks over to you.

“you look gorgeous.”

you smile “Why thank you Charlie”

“Here lemme get the car door” he opens the door

“thank you” You aren’t used to anyone guys acting like gentlemen considering your father was a dipshit and every guy you’ve dated has been a complete dumb fuck. You get in the car and asure him your all good and he shuts the door. He gets in and looks over at you.

“you do look beautiful y/n” This makes you smile as you look into his blue eyes. Every time you do you get lost in his eyes you glance over every facial feature he is like art perfect.

“thank you Charlie you don’t look too bad yourself,” you said with a smirk he was wearing dark blue jeans a white button-down, and black Converse. You put on your seatbelt and smiled at him. “thank you haha. Okay, are you ready to go?”

“yeah yeah when we get there ill help you set everything up” You smiled he had already started driving “Really? Thank you thank you I wasn't gonna ask you too I didn't wanna make your work cause I mean I invited you as a guest yk?” you giggled “no yeah its okay char of course ill help do you know when Robbie is gonna get there?”

“yeah he should be there around 7:15 ish so we will have just a little time where it's just us” You were looking down at your thighs playing with your ring. You look up at Charlie's hands on the steering wheel. Holy fucking shit he has nice hands I bet he is good with them. You thought to yourself.

Then charlie said “Are you okay? your staring…”

“wait huh oh sorry,” you say trying not to make it awkward knowing you just got caught staring at his hands. You start to say something when you're cut off by his hand finding its way to your thigh. You look and his hand and then at him your cheeks starting to go pink.

He doesn't look at you. All he says is. “well this is what you wanted right? I mean why else would you be staring at him? I bet you imagining more than just this tho right?” he says in a teasing tone. You froze unable to respond. Dear god, you thought charlie walker was this shy nerdy virgin who had never touched a woman where the fuck did this confidence come from.

“I- uhm yeah” you stammer out. You take a deep breath and find some confidence and put your hand on top of his and move it towards your inner thigh a bit. You see him start to blush knowing his boost of confidence was coming to an end and he was getting nervous. It was honestly cute because you knew you were his weakness. But just as you thought he was too nervous to do anything else. He moves his hand up your dress. His hand is resting just below your panties.

When he does this your breath hitches. At this point, it wasn’t a want it was a need you could feel yourself throbbing you needed him to keep going.

Just as you were gonna say anything you guys pull into this dirt parking lot where there is an old barn which is where the sabbathon is taking place. He removes his hands from your thigh and parks. You grab your bag and decide to fix your lipgloss real quick when you're done you see Charlie getting the car door again. “you are so beautiful” he says while admiring you. You get out of the car. “thank you char” He shuts the car door and you turn to face him. You look up at him. You wanted to kiss him. while using the triangle method he put moves your hair out of your face and behind your ear. “can I kiss you?”

Without responding you kiss him. The kiss slowly turning to a make out he has you pinned against the car his hands exploring your body. In between kisses he murmurs “so perfect”. He starts kissing down your neck leaving a few hickies on your neck and collarbone. He bites you a bit on your neck causing you to whimper. His hands travel down your body and up your dress. “Wait,” you say. “is everything okay” he stops kinda scared he did something wrong. “what time did you say Robbie is gonna be here?”

“around 7:1-” his phone rings. It's Robbie he picks it up

“Hello?”

“I'm sorry Charlie is running a little bit late ill probably be there around 7:30”

“it's okay dont worry me and Y/n can set up I don't think people are gonna start showing up till at least 8:30”

“ok ok see you at 7:30 maybe”

-he hangs up the phone-

Charlie turns back towards you and smiles. “well Robbie is running a lil late but do you wanna go inside n set up so we can chill out till people get here?”

“sure” You guys grab a few things out of the car and the chairs are already inside you just had to set them up. Charlie set up the projector and stuff while you set up chairs. When you guys are done you can't wait any longer and throw yourself onto him kissing him hard. he puts his hands on your waist backing you into the wall. This time he doesn't wait to slide his hands into your panties drawing small circles on your clit causing you to whimper but you are trying to stay quiet

“nono I want to hear your pretty noises angel” he kisses you while pumping and curling two fingers in and out of your aching pussy. You moan into the kiss knowing your gonna cum soon. “Charlie” you whimper out “Yes angel?” he says

“m gonna cum” he continues pumping his finger in and out a little harder and touches your clit. You are a whimpering mess. “Shh shh, I know I know” You feel the pressure in your stomach release as you whimper his name and cum all over his hands. taking a few deep breathes you look up at Charlie. “you did so well for me angel” he says

“Now be good open up” You open your mouth and suck his fingers clean. “good girl,” He says while having a hand on your jaw making you look up at him. He Gives you a quick kiss and pulls you into a hug hands around your waist and slightly rubbing your back. “you did so good are you okay?”

“yes I'm okay thank you Charlie I didn’t know you were so good with your hands” you kinda giggle and pull out from the hug. “well I’ve thought abt this situation a lot and I just wanna make you feel good” What you didn’t know is thinking about this happening isn’t the only thing he has done. But we will get to that another time. He checks his phone its 7:45 and robbie isnt here yet but kirby is parking and walks in to you and charlie standing close together looking at his phone and giggling at something. Kirby is jealous but doesn't say anything abt it.

“hiii” you look up to see kirby

“Helloo Kirby” You hug her and she hugs Charlie but not a friend hug you notice but shove it off. “I have drinks in my car and Jill is on her way. Also I few of the football players are picking up a keg”

“Okay cool,” Charlie says smiling at Kirby. You can see the way he looks at her. You wonder if you're just reading too much into things Or if Kirby had a chance with him. Like I know he was just making out with you and fingering you but you honestly thought he wanted her.

It’s hard because Kirby is your friend and you font wanna let a boy come between you guys but Charlie wasn’t just any boy you were falling for him And you couldn’t risk losing him…

[vizthedatum]

Updated blog disclaimer

Tumblr profile pic by @nullv01d

Tumblr background pic by me @vizthedatum

—

Hi! I'm Rose (Rose the artist formerly known as she her Pri).

I blog about my healing journey and personal stories. It's good, great, bad, ugly, and as honest as I can. Some of my posts can get very vulnerable and raw - this is necessary for my healing (feeling your feelings is the way to heal PTSD and chronic nervous system dysregulation).

I also write and post my art!! These are my passions.

If you'd like to pay to see more of my long-form musings and pieces, you can subscribe to my Substack (I mostly post on here though... we'll see what kind of posts I make on there).

I'm a scientist by training, so there will be bits and pieces of that in there as well.

I used to have many disclaimers, but I always attempt to tag all my posts. If you'd like to see my previous disclaimers, please go to my previous blog disclaimer.

If there is anything you do not vibe within this blog, you don't have to stay or listen to me! Kindly unfollow, block, and ignore.

And if you like my content, please consider buying me a coffee or donating! I put a lot of work into my poetry, writings, spiritual musings, and disability work.

Future employers and anyone else: I am a queer and trans person of color who is a citizen of the United States of America. I have undergone a lot of abuse, and I am exercising my First Amendment rights as a citizen of this country. I am sharing my experiences as authentically and honestly as I can. I am receiving mental and physical healthcare as best I can with my resources. My training is in healthcare, and if I cannot be honest about who I am, then it would be incredibly hypocritical for me to practice epidemiology or clinical data analysis in healthcare. If you choose to discriminate against me based on my identity or my emotional processing of the abuse I have endured (or even the poetry/art/writings I share), then you willfully deny employment to a domestic violence survivor (and I have gone through domestic violence multiple times). I would not work for such an organization anyway. My skills and qualifications speak for themselves, and the evaluation of me as an employee should be separate from what I post on my personal blog where I go through my healing journey. Thank you.

[zorkaya-moved]

my mood's already been down the drain but boy oh boy this is 2023 and we still use anon to make other rpers feel bad about being open about their views/life/concerns? it's astonishing to me how the likes and responses have been brought up. like yeah if a person puts so much into their content, obviously they'll have strong responses. but it doesn't mean that they're not allowed to be sad or upset or concerned. everyone here is a person. 90% of us writers here use tumblr to escape reality and do silly goofy things we like. just sit back and relax.

just because someone is 'popular' doesn't mean you should use that against them. i fucking hate that shit because it was used against me before and a person who I trusted, they made me hate myself for feeling bad over how nervous I was about my content, my approach to people, my personal boundaries, and more. we all have concerns and lives that we do not show to people on the internet. and none of us all anyone our real life to a T, like fuck no. privacy should be treasured more here.

if you lash out as a person for them setting their boundaries? you're fucked up. ignoring anyone's boundaries means that you are denying them their damn humanity and treat that person as your entertainment and that's fucked up. get a look at yourself in the mirror and slap yourself because if YOU would be lashed out for setting your own boundaries, you'd be pissed and upset or heartbroken. none of you on the internet is entitled to saying anything against someone setting boundaries.

it's also fucked on another level because in this case we've had a talk about 'popularity'. ok, let's take that. the more people you interact with, the more important it to SET BOUNDARIES and to let everyone know what you're ok with and what you're not ok with. so many of us here as writers are being pretty transparent about our health, our life, and our struggles. once again: ALMOST EVERYONE HERE USES TUMBLR TO WRITE/VIBE AND BE AWAY FROM REALITY, we're here just enjoying our silly goofy moments and we meet too many strangers who better know where the fuck our lines are. so whenever someone sets boundaries, you fucking listen and not hide your head in the sand like a fucking ostrich. you listen and take that into consideration. it doesn't matter how 'popular' someone is. i honestly dislike these tags of popularity, yeah before when I was younger it was cool but now it's just tiring. this isn't high school and we ain't playing mean girls with local regina george to create a unified burn book. fuck that.

anyways, i'm rambling but like don't be a jealous bitch. we all feel envy at some point of being here, we compare ourselves to each other which causes us anxiety but keep that to yourself. so many of us here are literally here just to vibe. if you start getting bad thoughts/ideas/you start to feel bad - unfollow/block and forget. for sending out passive aggressive or aggressive anons just makes you, the sender, look both entitled, whiny and pathetic.

anyways, cheers to those who are honest about their boundaries, honest about their struggles, and try their damn hardest despite assholes sending passive aggressive or aggressive messages. you're doing great. anxiety and depression may tell you otherwise, but know that I stan you and you're amazing. i respect you and i cheer for you.

DO NOT REBLOG. DO NOT REPOST.

[ace-does-stuff]

Cuspids

Summary: They're in a killing game, dental health can wait, a broken tooth can be withstood. Apparently Detah is the only person who holds that opinion on the matter.

Warnings: descriptive dental pain, its sort of horny...? if you squint? its mostly dental stuff and the mouth focus that comes with it honestly so you could probably ignore the slightly horny part

Authors Note: Yeah I'm not sorry, this was bound to happen the second he had fangs, and @sobredunia also knows the exact fucking cause of this. I mean, is it really straight if shes just putting her hands in his mouth *for dental reasons?* Not unless he's her partner, which he isn't, instead hes a fag whose moderately into it. Not tagging anyone except dunia cause my friend group is full of not horny people, if you do end up reading it for one reason or another I wouldn't mind a reblog though.

Once Ao3 stops being funky I'll add an Ao3 port.

Detah gave a nervous hum as he took a small step back, "I don't think we really have to do this."

"We do, you could've cracked a tooth on the fall," Uzomi said, she placed a hand on her hip.

"It's just a broken tooth," Detah stated, Uzomi raised a brow.

"Would you rather someone else check it out?" Uzomi asked.

Detah shrugged, "I'll be fine, if it starts to hurt a lot then I'll get someone to actually help deal with it."

"You better," Uzomi said, it sounded more like a threat than anything else.

Detah nodded rapidly.

He waited patiently for Uzomi to be back to chatting with Lare before bringing a hand to press at his cheek. The ache was intense and if he pressed his tongue to the tooth he could feel the small chip, or the hole that remained in place of the chip.

Another door opened and he walked over to the rest of the group, stuffing his hands in his pockets and trying to ignore the sting of pain. He dug his nails into the heel of his palms until that stung more than the ache in the back of his mouth.

Somewhere between rooms there was a box of snacks, everybody got one. Mako took chips, Lare took chips, most of what was in the box was chips and sweets.

"Are you feeling alright Detah?" Murasaki asked between bites of chips.

Detah looked up from the bag of gummies, "I'm fine, just not feeling very hungry," He reluctantly brings a sour candy to his mouth, it stings as he chews. It just hurts, a droning pain as the sugar hits a busted tooth. He winces a little bit as he chews, all he can do is hope it's convincing enough.

Murasaki gave a shrug, "Fair enough, its pretty hard to be hungry when everyone is almost dying, I think there's a bottle of water if you want some."

"That'd be nice," Detah said, pushing off the wall and stuffing the almost entirely full pack in his pocket.

He takes a seat at the box and rifles through it for the aforementioned water bottle. The lid comes of with ease but the water is warm which really isn't ideal in the slightest. Still, he drinks it, trying to wash out the sweetness that's sending agonizing tingles across his nerves. But he just, he knows that logically if he doesn't stomach at least a couple more sweets it won't end well.

He reluctantly takes a couple more bites, it hurts so much even when he chews on the other side. He swallows agonizingly slow and instantly tries to wash it out with the water, some nutrients is better than none. Not like there's any nutrients in sour patch kids anyways, he hates the fact that he's doing so but he makes his way over to Uzomi.

Detah tugged on Uzomis jacket, she turned to face him, "What's up?"

"My teeth fucking hurt," Was all Detah said, "Help."

Uzomi gave a small sigh, "Alright, open your mouth."

Detah did as told, cracking open his jaw a little bit, Uzomi easily slid two fingers past his fangs. She prodded at the lining of his gums, searching for whatever was broken, he could only squirm in response. She nudged his tongue to the side, trying to be gentle but her fingers tasted like motor oil; Detah recoiled at the taste.

"This would be easier if you fully opened your mouth," Uzomi said quietly as she shifted her hands position, tugging at the corner of his mouth with her thumb and gripping his jaw with the rest of her hand. He tried not to lean into the tug, tilting his head the other way and opening his mouth a little wider, "See? Easy."

"Fuck off," Detah tried to say, exaggerated H sounds littered his speech, the hand in his mouth did not make it easier. He reluctantly brought a hand to grasp at her arm, a horrible support of balance. She brought her other hand to continue smoothing over every tooth for a chip, trying not to cut herself on them.

"Do you want help?" Uzomi answered with, tugging a little harder to punctuate her sentence. Detah gave a halfhearted nod, he nearly gagged when she reached the sockets that once held wisdom teeth. he dug blunted nails into Uzomis arm and instinctively bit down, but the grip on his jaw and the hands in his mouth kept it wedged open, "Try not to cut off my fingers, please."

Detah gave a slightly annoyed groan, some form of agreement underneath the displeasure. He holds his mouth open and tries not to move, Uzomi keeps the thumb tugging at his lips wedged between the teeth at the back that had worn rounded over time in contrast to the fangs at the front. It was clinical, entirely so, every touch to his teeth from the sides, the way she slid a nail between gums and enamel. It was practiced but inquisitive, the way she pressed at the back of his tongue just cause, saliva pooled under his tongue.

Uzomi pulled out her hands and gestured to the ground, "Swallow."

"What?" Detah asked almost aggressively, more incredulous if anything, closing his mouth and trying to ease the tension in his jaw, swallowing back the saliva.

"The saliva," Uzomi said, a bit of a stutter to her voice, the faintest red tint came to her face, "It was not supposed to sound like that."

Detah shrugged, "Are you done?"

Uzomi shakes her head, "No, I haven't found any cracks yet, or holes- if I touch one that really hurts then let me know."

"Alright, fine," Detah said, a little bit bitterly as he opened his mouth again, Uzomi easily returned her hands to where they propped his jaws open.

This time he welcomed it more easily, the taste of motor oil was still rancid on his palate, but he recoiled less. Uzomi tilted his head back just a bit, he had to reach to press his hands against a wall for balance. She pressed the pad of her finger to the tip of an incisor, the pressure shot through half of his jaw. She did the same down the line of teeth, prodding at the base gently as well. Detah still squirmed under the pressure applied to every square centimeter of his mouth, somewhere he knew that no actual dentist was this clumsy. But then again, Uzomi was not a dentist, nor did she have the tools, leaving her with nothing to work with aside from her hands.

"You sure you banged up something?" Uzomi asked, Detah gave a somewhat shaky nod, the faint tinge of red rising to his cheeks was not helping his dignity, "Cause I'm not feeling anything."

Then she hit the crack, somewhere along the line the wire crossed and he keened instead of biting and recoiling from the touch. Uzomi pressed down again and this time he did try to bite down, stifling a whine as he did so. Uzomi pulled out her hands and wiped them down on her shorts, and Detah reluctantly pushed himself off of the wall.

"Yeah, I think it's just a chip, not much I can do, try not to eat sugar next time we get snacks dropped off," Uzomi said as she picked her bag of plain chips off the ground.

"That was a waste of time," Detah said with a sigh as he pulled a bag of gummies out of his pocket and tossed it to the side, "Can't even eat."

"You can have some of my chips," Uzomi offered, handing the bag to Detah.

"Thanks," He got out quietly between obnoxiously loud crunches.

[retiredficwriter]

thank you so much for tagging me @forcebookish !!

1 . How did you get into writing fanfiction?

i was obsessed with twilight (as one was) when i was younger and stumbled upon a twilight fanfic while searching news about the upcoming movie. i always created stories of pre-existing media in my head but the concept of fanfic never crossed my mind so i thought "why not do it myself?"

2. How many fandoms have you written in?

five. honestly quite shocked it's not higher lol

3. How many years have you been writing fanfiction?

on and off for thirteen years.

4. Do you read or write more fanfiction?

write! i read more fiction books.

5. What is one way you’ve improved as a writer?

before i used to spend a lot of time in the character's head and write stream of consciousness, but now i know when to balance that out and show their thoughts through actions and dialogue instead.

6. What’s the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

the dancing plague of 1518

7. What’s your favorite type of comment to receive on your work?

the ones where i did a great job keeping someone in-character and people share their favorite quote! but tbh any comment is my favorite 🥹

8. What’s the most fringe trope/topic you write about

me? writing a fringe topic?? hahaha… *looks at my bloodlines musical au*

9. What is the hardest type of story for you to write?

all of them.

smut. i write a line then delete it immediately cause i think “they would not fucking say that.” or i have multiple versions of the same scene because i can’t choose which one is better! honorable mention to third person pov stories!

10. What is the easiest type?

anything canon-compliant, like the story told through the pov of a side character. you already know how it ends and you have more “freedom” to expand the character while they don’t interact with the main plot in canon.

11. Where do you do your writing? What platform? When?

my bed or couch, but writing outside is 1000% better because when i'm home I get distracted easily. i write in google docs and as much as i can, though usually at night.

12. What is something you’ve been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?

if i hadn’t posted my bloodlines musical au, that would have been my answer i'm still intimidated by it. but right now, a story told in second person pov.

13. What made you choose your username?

i was a fanfic writer but stopped (or should i say, retired) because life happened. but now i'm back... for now... jk jk.

tagging @vasilissadragomir @megatraven @sydneysageivashkov @jetsteelyourheart @gravedangerahead (no pressure!) and anyone who wants to do this!

[humming-pokemon-helpers]

A Vision in the Mirror Masterpost (OOC)

Taking the same concept from my old masterpost, this one will start out with a few FAQs and follow with a plot summary of what's going on under the cut, to keep up easily! Tags for this arc include #a vision in the mirror and for previous leadup posts, #vision prelude. Posts will also be tagged with appropriate stakes for the scene/consequences of what's going on, but on average, stuff is high stakes.

What should I know going in?

Similar to my last high stakes arc, this arc will cover some sensitive topics (all of which will be tagged alongside the arc tag and stakes)! Among them are mental health topics like anxiety, paranoia, depression, suicidality and self-injury, happenings like impersonation, defamation/blackmail, violence/death, fire (natural disaster), and general philosophizing in the "are humans and Pokémon actually equal" direction. A lot of these will largely only be alluded to on here, but better safe than sorry! Feel free to block the tag if it's not for you, I'll probably have a few lower-stakes posts somewhere in there (or maybe some ask games to break stuff up).

Also, this time, not everything is going to be RP'd live on-blog. If you're interested in seeing the behind-the-scenes you're welcome to the planning server (I can shoot you a link), but it'll be a bit heavier. The reason I'm doing this is both to reduce the intensity here, and to not flood everyone's dashboards. I'll still make summary posts of what's going on and am happy to answer asks about that! And of course, Vanilla or Cross will still be liveblogging everything crucial.

How can I participate?

Honestly, just send asks! Reblog stuff! This is pretty open, though if you'd like to be involved in anything in-person, DM me so I can add you to the planning server. I'd love to hear anyone's ideas along the way!

Know also that you can be as involved as you want in this. Some parts of this event will have wider-ranging consequences (city-wide, tops) but also, I absolutely don't expect people to get involved in that unless they want to! (If you do decide to dash-commentary things, please tag it with the arc tag so I can see it? Pretty please? And also use the appropriate stakes tags?)

Who's important in this?

(Not listing my friends' blogs in this, though they're welcome to reblog!)

Vanilla: Vanilla (26, any) is the guy on the blog, a Hisuian Zorua hybrid, and probably a bit well-known for his own good at the moment. They've currently just finished their Unovan Gym Challenge (badge-gathering), and are trying to investigate what has caused their impersonation across several situations.

Colress: Colress (39, he/him) is back from wherever he was, and certainly not better than ever. His aims are unclear, but Vanilla has been keeping tabs on him via a pager gifted by Cheri, and holds some key information from his laptop. He currently has expressed intentions to reclaim his Klinklang from Rune.

Vision: A strange being (?, ??/??) who seems to be impersonating Vanilla perfectly. Believed to be tied to Colress, but in what way? Has a soft spot for Wolfgang, and has met with Cheri and Vanilla's parents.

Cross: Vanilla's Rotom, Cross (5, she/her), is a sweet, non-battling Pokémon whose main goal is Vanilla's safety. While she's normally sworn to secrecy, she'll break that in the name of saving her "boss". She's also quite nervous, pzzt.

Wolfgang: Wolfgang, or Wolfy (27, he/him) is a Hisuian Zoroark, Vanilla's half-sibling, and the father of four adorable Zorua kits with his mate, Mozart. He's currently serving as the interim leader of the Lostlorn Zoroark pack, but he's in frequent contact with Vanilla thanks to the power of cheap cell phones.

Cobalion: One of the Swords of Justice, Cobalion (many centuries, they/he) is convinced Vanilla will one day be a worthy chosen for their aims. As it is, however, they've left Vanilla to find her own answers. Unless the answers involve using the cool sword they've been gifted, in which case Cobalion is all in.

Cheri: Cheri (28, she/her) is the perpetual thorn in Vanilla's side, who also happens to be their recent ex and current "rival" after selling them out to Colress (and apologizing endlessly after the fact). A strong battler, she gifted Vanilla Chibi (formerly Fluffybutt) the Shiny Vanilluxe, and has expressed every intention of protecting Vanilla. As much as Vanilla insists he's really fine without the help.

Aspear: Aspear (28, he/him) is Cheri's twin, also a "rival" of Vanilla's, and perfectly happy to stay out of this situation, thank you.

What's the plot so far?

(Plot kept under the readmore for previously mentioned potentially triggering content.)

Prelude: After a battle with Cheri, Vanilla was bestowed with a pager Cheri had previously used to keep contact with Colress. Over the past few months, they've heard Colress speaking from the pager, but, frustratingly, nothing crucial. Lately, though, they've been hearing strange noises much like their own voice...

These strange noises seem corroborated by Wolfgang claiming to have seen somebody who looks, speaks, and even smells exactly like Vanilla, and by Cheri's own claims that she has talked to Vanilla's doppelganger.

At the same time, Colress has begun taking action, reaching out to Rune to demand the return of his Klinklang, to which he received a solid refusal. And at the same time, the Swords of Justice seem on edge...

Main Arc: Vanilla, with his increasing concern about being impersonated, begins to lower contact with others, and eventually, decides to return to their adoptive parents' home to lay low. When she finally returns, though, she learns that Maamaa, who was in her parent's care, was taken by her copycat to some unknown location. In order to figure out where, Vanilla tries working out who they're dealing with, before finally settling on making themselves distinguishable from the copy when in-person (fun fact for the summary people: what they settled on was 'way too much body spray'). This doesn't solve their problem though, and so they finally decide to try and make contact with Colress and this mystery person via Cheri's pager.

On the other side of things, we learn that this person's name is Vision, that she seems to have some sort of high title... and that she intends to be the one to respond to Vanilla's message, it seems. But what will come of that...?

[To be continued!]

[drawing-way-outside-the-lines]

➖ Mature content, 18+ ➖ check the trigger tags each time ➖

Chapter 46 - Everything seemed tainted by a gray light.

Episode 1. Akin: Sam, take a deep breath he spoke in a calm voice whatever the test result is, we will find the best way to deal with it.

Sam: He took a deep shaky breath easy for you to say, he rubbed his hands from his spot on the seat by Akin's work desk You are not the one who will lose your boyfriend, if your pregnancy test turns up positive.

Akin: If. He forced a soft smile

It had been a week since Sam had gotten his test result, and the days had been a long blur. He had stayed clear of pretty much everyone around him, barely picking up the phone, making excuses not to see anyone. He had a lot on his mind, and no leftover energy to deal with the world around him. It was a late Thursday evening, when someone knocked his door. He didn't want to open, but then a voice reached out to him

Andy: Sam! It's your dad… if you remember me by now? …. name's Andy… and I worry about you!

Sam: He sighed soft and couldn't help but smile, then he closed his book, got up from his couch and made his way to the front door, slowly opening it How could I forget you? he forced a small smile

Andy: He chuckled lightly, but his face looked unusually serious are you alright?

Sam: …. that's a matter of interpretation.

Andy: Mhh he nodded soft may I come in?

Sam: Sure he opened the door wider and stepped aside into the kitchen do you want anything to drink?

Andy: You don't have any soda, do you? he stepped into the house, quickly closing the door

Sam: No. But I have beer and wine…?

Andy: No thank you

Sam: He looked at his dad surprised Well… I got coconut milk or tea then?

Andy: He wrinkled his nose

Sam: He chuckled lightly okay, how about I put some coffee over then?

Andy: No, I can't have coffee, it's okay.

Sam: …. mineral water?

Andy: Yeah, sure…

Sam: He nodded confirming and reached for a glass in a cupboard

Andy: What's going on with you anyway? You disappeared for a week, not even Lina has seen you… is there something wrong?

Sam: He sighed soft and poured some mineral water for Andy in a glass, handing it to him that would again be a matter of interpretation.

Andy: Meaning? he sipped the water

Sam: Dad, it's rather personal and something I prefer to try to wrap my head around in private, at least for now. But I'm fine in the sense that nothing is 'wrong' with me, so please don't worry.

Andy: ……. he slow nodded, but it was easy to see he wasn't truly buying what Sam was trying to sell

Sam: He shook his head lightly and sighed soft it's nothing for you to worry about. He quickly walked to the counter, and poured some mineral water in his own glass, taking a sip I am sorry if I worried you though. That wasn't my intention.

Andy: No, I know that. It's just sad to me that you don't trust me with this…. whatever it is you're carrying around.

Sam: He sighed heavily, he honestly was carrying a lot more than he wanted to, and the thought of sharing it with someone suddenly felt almost liberating Dad I- He got interrupted as suddenly his mineral water combined with his dinner, decided to make a comeback and he barely made it to the sink

Andy: …………. he slowly stepped closer to Sam, grabbing his hair before Sam reached round 2 You're pregnant?

Sam: Akin told you?

Andy: No. But Lina might have mentioned yesterday that you had a strange reaction to a joke she made and shortly after that walked out on her last week.

Sam: He frowned soft and straightened up I'm sorry, I'll just go brush my teeth.

Andy: Yeah, well, nothing to apologize for… he slowly followed Sam to the bathroom It uhm… it's Adrian's, right?

Sam: He looked at his dad with a deep 'are you kidding me' frown

Andy: Nervous chuckle funny enough, I'm uh, pregnant too…

Sam: ……….

Andy: ………

Sam: ………

Andy: ……… Akin is sure it happened on Adrian's first wolf moon, but we couldn't detect it till about a month ago, probably cause my body was aware I'd have gotten an abortion. He sighed deep now it's too late, I'm just "lucky" that I haven't started showing yet he ran his fingers through his hair nervously I'm sorry to dump it on you like that, but no one else knows… I mean apart from Akin… I just haven't figured how to tell Adrian, yet…. if ever

Sam: You have to tell him, dad!

Andy: And lose him? He frowned softly maybe it's best to never say anything at all… keep things the way they are.

Sam: And then what when the kid grows up and looks like him?

Andy: ……… yeah…..

Sam: Yeah he grabbed his tooth brush, added tooth paste and stuck it in his mouth, brushing his teeth

Andy: I just don't want to lose him… fuck! I don't even know how to tell him, and even if there's the slightest chance he wouldn't lose his shit, he definitely will now when there's two of us! Mr. no kids is going to have two kids!

Sam: …….. 3 he mumbled with his mouth full of foam

Andy: ……. what?!?! Who else is pregna- Dalton?!?!

Sam: No he quickly spat in the sink I'm he sighed deep having twins.

Andy: ……….. FUCK!!! He quickly rushed to the kitchen, ripping the door open, grabbed a beer and was just about to open it as someone knocked Sam's door

Sam: He groaned from inside the bathroom

Andy: I'll tell them to fuck right off!!

Sam: No, dad he spat in the sink, quickly washing his tooth brush I'll handle it. He quickly left the bathroom and walked to the front door, opening it a bit hesitating this time, frowning questioning as outside there were no sign of anyone, then he suddenly noticed a basket on the ground…. with a small baby in it What the?! he looked around, there were no movements indicating a person had left, so he quickly ran out onto the road, no cars, nothing!?!

Andy: what's going on? He rushed to the door, only to spot the baby right away What the fuck?!? He quickly picked up the basket and got it into the living room, placing it securely on the couch, then he noticed a note

Sam: He shook his head and sniffed the air, but couldn't pick up any new scent, beside the baby, it was as if a ghost had dropped off the basket. He hurried back to the house and locked the door after himself, a thing he wouldn't usually do, but something inside him felt uneasy all of a sudden, and it wasn't the pregnancy this time. It was as if something dark suddenly hung thick over his house. A smell of death in the air. He frowned suspiciously, but brushed it off, for now the most important would be to find out what-

Andy: Uhmm

Sam: What? He quickly walked up to his dad

Andy: Uh yeah, there's a note…

Sam: A note?

Andy: Uh yeah, it's from Meena… she says the baby is yours and that she can't do it. She says she is your responsibility and to never contact her again.

Sam: What!?? he quickly grabbed the note and ripped it out of Andy's hand, reading it fast

Andy: …….

Sam: ……. fuck!

Andy: He nodded slow

Sam: He quickly picked up his phone, dialling his friend Meena's number, a friend he had had casual sex with in the past… twice. Her number is out of service he frowned as he put the phone back down, trying to process everything. Now there were 4 babies?! She didn't even leave a name?!? How am I going to take care of a pregnancy, AND a baby, AND get all that to fit with a child-phobic boyfriend?!

Andy: ….. I hate to suggest it again, but-

Sam: Dad, no!

Andy: Get very drunk then?!

Sam: Dad!

Andy: Rough sex with strangers?

Sam: ….. he couldn't help but chuckle

Andy: You wait a couple months and it wont seem like such a laughable idea when the pregnancy hormones take over!

Sam: He shook his head lightly I really can't wrap my head around that right now dad, I have to go find Meena and try to figure this one out, you can't just dump your baby on someone elses doorstep!

Andy: But she appears to be yours…

Sam: Regardless, dad. It's just not okay, I thought we were friends, yet I knew nothing about this baby, or her being pregnant for that matter?

Andy: When was the last time you even spoke to her? I mean, 9 months pregnancy and you didn't notice?

Sam: He lifted an eyebrow I'm not stupid if that's where we're heading?!

Andy: … no, I'm just saying-

Sam: I haven't seen her for about 11-12 months? And I haven't spoken with her for about 10 months maybe?

Andy: Real good friends you two were….

Sam: He frowned at his dad's sarcasm I've been busy.

Andy: ….

Sam: beside I'm not going to just believe a mystery baby is mine because of a handwritten letter, there are tests to be made. Proper ways of handling things he gestured at the basket this isn't it. I don't exactly have diapers or milk laying around either. He sighed deep So my first priority is to try to get a hold of Meena and get to the bottom of it all.

Andy: He nodded confirming what about the baby? Are you going to portal jump around with her?

Sam: No. I hate to ask but can you keep an eye on her for a while?

Andy: Yeah, sure, I might have a couple things in my car as well you can have, in case she stays. At least it could save your ass till you can get to a supermarket tomorrow.

Sam: He sighed heavy Thanks dad. I'll be back as soon as possible, I promise.

Andy: Take your time, it's okay, I'll stay as long as you need me to he smiled soft and sat down next to the basket At least she's sleeping for now.

Sam: He sighed softly call me if it gets to be too much.

Andy: It wont, please, go fix your life, it's honestly starting to look like mine! He chuckled hoarsely

Sam: He squinted his eyes but said nothing, just quickly grabbed his coat and headed to his bedroom where he would set up the portal for Meena's place.

Andy: So what's your name anyway? He looked at the sleeping baby I'm Andy btw… he reached a greeting hand into the basket Nice to meet you…. oh you don't give hand…. shy?…. he shrugged lightly that's alright, you shouldn't talk to strangers anyway.

[ryuseiired]

AAAAAA IM SO HAPPY YOU LIKED MY MAHIRU TAGS!! i feel like I've made the tumblr dream of someone screenshotting my tags, posting them, and saying "don't hide this in the tags!" Hsjdkfmfm but yeah, Mahiru has a lot of ingrained shit that needs help. I just hope she gets the chance to get it. I'm curious though, are there any of the prisoners that you think are beyond help? I don't know enough about Haruka to say for sure but personally... I'm sus of him lmao

YES OF COURSE !!! honestly i was really nervous the original post was like off-base and incomprehensible bc i wrote it all in one sitting at 4am haha so to see someone "yes, and also" it in the tags made me very happy as well :3

this is a fun ask actually because i love this question. bc i don't actually think any of them are beyond help, you know? i think any of them could be helped and could change and could be better people... but the question is, what would it require? how likely is it? part of getting help, too, is wanting to be helped. and then there's the unfortunate realism that, within the framework and confines of milgram... it's unlikely we can do anything to help them. take amane, for example: i think she's absolutely not beyond saving, but i also think you'd need to not only get her out of her previous environment but into a better more supportive one, with someone understanding and patient with her, where she can more gradually be guided through the difficult process of unlearning the cult teachings and mindset she grew up with. milgram is not that. milgram is scary and unfamiliar and built to simply punish or not punish for a specific crime. so realistically, while i think amane could be helped, i don't think anything we vote can fully help her. innocent or guilty, either way will not change her beliefs currently because of the situation.

you mention haruka specifically and i kind of agree that he's "beyond help" as far as it being like... milgram can't help him. we can't help him. i don't think haruka is a completely lost cause or anything and i absolutely believe he could be helped, but in order to do that... you'd need a way to say literally anything to him OTHER than either "you're unforgivable" or "murder is ok". situations like how he is in trial 2 put you between a rock and a hard place, where your options are either to hurt him and reject the positive change he has made by becoming better able to talk with others, or to... affirm the belief that actually murder is fine and he never did anything wrong.

basically. i don't think anyone's "too far gone" or beyond help, necessarily? but i do think there's definitely limits to whether or not they are able to get what they'd need in order to be helped and how easy it'd be to help them, and i think there's absolutely certain characters where whatever we do in milgram just... unfortunately can't address the core issues they have.

[itsohh]

Hello! I hope you are doing well! When you first started writing here on Tumblr, did you hesitate or were nervous and if so how did you deal with it? Or did you just power through it and fuck it I'm putting my writing out there and I don't care what people say?

Long story short I'm really wanting to write on here just to do something different but I'm hella nervous and just wanted an opinion. Because I really love R6 but I have a very hard time getting out of my shell. Obviously you don't have to answer if you are uncomfortable! Till then I can't wait for your next post! 😊

hmmm I think way back when I first started writing I was a lot more care free at the time back when I was like 13.

I don't think I was ever focused on like anyone hating it or anything like that. Like I've legit never got hate for writing in all the years I've done it. Either people will hit the like button or they wont. Back then I was writing for like supernatural and marvel then eventually overwatch and a bit of Sherlock. In the case of I guess it was 'whats the worst that will happen' in all reality most of the time people who don't like x reader have the tag blocked and so only people who like said thing will find it (so long as u tag correctly)

I've sorta just got to the stage where posting doesn't really phase me in nervousness or anything, like sure for somethings I lose interest or motivation at times but when I started posting I didn't really get any like feedback at all? Like it was very rare I would get anything that wasn't a like or a reblog and requests didn't happen much. I think the fact that Tumblr is so anonymous really helps, like its almost a mask. No one actually knows who I am, worst comes to worst I can legit just delete the blog and start anew.

I think also fandom size is a huge thing, is reconising your audience, there's no point comparing like notes to another fandom cause honestly it just reflects how popular said thing is. After I realised that I sorta don't worry anymore? I used to freak out a bit about people not liking my posts but now I'm just like 'eh R6S is tiny' and it is.

Honestly yeah so long as you tag correctly you should be alg. In the R6S fandom at leat people are pretty chill. (Idk there's some hate to oc's or something but as long as u don't tag as x reader u should be alg)

Anyway I'm rambling a lot but honestly yeah just go for it hun, upload. Nothing bad will happen, might feel a bit anxious or whatever but its like, yeah. You feel me? that being said if your going to write please remember capitals and new speaker new line theses are so important, as someone who breaks a lot of grammar rules those two shouldn't be broken in writing. I know a lot of people aren't a fan of first person so if you do write first person your audience would be smaller than per say second or first

Some people may have different ideas or interpretations of character but I feel as a tumblr collective (speshly this fandom) people won't like hate on you for it.

ANYWAY I went off again, yeah give it a go. eventually you will get used to it and it will become a second habit to upload, frankly so long as you ultimately always write for your enjoyment your always good. uploading writing is pretty much like the same as watching a movie with a friend id say, or like running a dnd campaign sorta vibes. kinda. but yeah just hit that post button and off u go. I guess yeah just power through it, hitting post the first time is def the hardest and you just gotta rip that bad boy off.

[foolish-edworm]

Hi, im asking this fully out of confusion and curiosity. I have been American my whole life, all 3 odd decades of it, and have never heard of "usamericans" till this year.

I'm asking this as I see you use the term so maybe you can point me to the answer: Where the hell did that come from? Are there other people who call themselves Americans who need to be differentiated from us who have used it, as far as I'm aware, exclusively for well over 2 centuries?

This is fully confusion cause like. I've never been usamerican just. American. And as far as I was aware no one else used American exclusively, as the south and central Americans I know use the names of their country's to identify themselves.

Basic internet search doesn't really give me answers and either I live further under a rock than I thought or this is an extremely new term?

Why are people specifying something that was already specific. I'm inclined to dislike it as it always tends to feel derogatory and not in the usual making fun of Americans way about our spelling and hard Rs ya know? It sounds like the pretentious bastard that is "well actually"ing a conversation into the floor.

Or is this just a tic toc trend?

Idk I hope this isn't weird, im just so confused. Im pretty sure ive been on Tumblr longer than you've been able to read. And mean that in the same tone as an old person complaining about the rain and their knees, I'm glad there's younger people on here, its just the Internet I grew up with is very very different then the one you have and it turns me around backwards cause I thought I knew my way around here but all these weird useless things show up that apparently mean things to people.

Idk, I guess im just asking are people actually being derogatory or are they just following a new trend or what?

Thanks for your time. And hopefully a consideration for an answer. And dont feel nervous voting. It's your right and I'm proud of you for exercising it. It feels weird every time but very good and I've voted every year I could.

:)

🥔- for the long ask

Woah. Okay! So I honestly don't remember when I first saw people using "usamerican" but it's just a combination US and American. It's absolutely a semantics thing as far as I know, like, "America is actually the continent so technically American includes the US, Canada, and also most US Americans don't specify they're talking about North America so it also includes Central & South."

I once shared a post about it (but knowing me I likely won't be able to find it.) If it's a tiktok trend that's definitely not where I got it from lmao, I only have tumblr at this point. I think it's just an easy way to be clear about which North/South American country you're talking about! I've never seen it as a derogatory thing or anything negative like that lol.

It's consistent. If you're talking about a Central American country, you say it's from Central America, same for South America. So it only makes sense to do the same for North America, right? But NA is the US and Canada, so when talking about the US specifically, US America is a good way to do that. And on Tumblr it just makes sense to shorten it to "usamerican" for tagging purposes. I've honestly never checked if anyone else tags it that way, but it's mostly for me anyway lol.

I hope that was a satisfactory enough answer, and I hope it made even a shred of sense lol! I'm not used to answering questions like this :D

And thank you! For the voting reassurance (I'm really gonna need it :D) and for putting the time to want to learn about something new! I wish I could've been more smart about it, but it's not something I ever really thought deeply about. Have a good day!

[mrpenguinpants]

Hello, sorry for bothering you. I was wondering if I could be added to the tag list for everything, if so that would be great!

Not a bother at all :D honestly, this is the perfect excuse to redo my tag list.

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO REMAIN ON THE TAG LIST. PLEASE LET ME KNOW. IF YOU DON'T, THEN JUST IGNORE THIS @. THANKS

Childe Tag List

@youaskedfurret @diaxfeliz @wintergreen-aix @elyiu @thegayrubberducky @aruuuuuuunyan @akiy4ma-mizuki @disa-ster @tigerpriestess @yuu-yuukurotsuki @openingssequence @onowie @sora-sunshne

Tag List for everything 

@hanniejji @hermaeusmorax @unionwitch @sunnshiii @vlorxus @xoneaboveallx @asheseiler @sakari-shi @dilucsz @dai-tsukki-desu @nonniechan @htnicayh @genshins1mpact @morthecreator @aklxojjk @fulltimeventisimp @laic2299 @dieseameni @duhsies @creatorofstars @zalladane @sweeti-pie @curiouslilbeast @momos-peaches @timmyitsmeeee @nebula-gemini

Xiao Tag List

@youaskedfurret @37thcupid @tigerpriestess @yuu-yuukurotsuki @legionqueensav @mamasnu @castinluckgamer @dazqily @sora-sunshne

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[gillianthecat]

hi gillian! you have so much to say about all the bls you watch (this is definitely not a bad thing, i enjoy reading what other people think about our shared interests) but i was just wondering how did you survive being a lurker? did you write your thoughts anywhere or did you just kept them to yourself? i struggle with this myself, i feel like i have so much to say about everything, but i don't really say it or share it, i happily read other people's opinions and silently agree or disagree idek where i'm going with this lmao i guess i'm just curious to know such a "talkative" and person as you was once a lurker

Hi Anon!

So interestingly, when I was a lurker I didn't watch BL at all, barely knew what it was. I joined Tumblr because of a hockey romance writer (Taylor Fitzpatrick, I'm still a big fan of her work) and then mostly started following fanfic writers. Because I mostly read fanfic for media I don't read/watch or for sports RPF in sports I don't follow (which I know makes me a bit of an outlier) I didn't have much to say about the source materials. And because my tendency when writing about stuff is to be pretty analytical and to pick works apart even when I love them, that wasn't something I was going to do in public on tumblr where any of the authors (many of whom I followed) could see it. That just felt invasive. All of which is to say, being a lurker came very naturally to me at the time; it honestly didn't really occur to me to do anything else. And I didn't write my thoughts down or share them with anyone else, my fanfic reading (indeed most of my reading) had always felt like a private part of myself. I had plenty of thoughts and comparative analyses, etc, but it just kind of bubbled up in my brain and then disappeared.

My transition into posting on here about BL happened fairly spontaneously, pretty much immediately after I started watching BL; I don't really remember consciously deciding to make that change. Perhaps I did, and it's fallen out of my mind, I do remember being a little anxious the first time I reblogged something with comments of my own, feeling worried that I would bother people or people would think I was weird or something. On the other hand, my reblog was about Pete and Vegas' kink-filled explicit sex scene, so I must not have been that nervous 😂 I do remember tagging a lot of my posts "#my ramblings" early on; that self depreciation helped me mitigate my self-consciousness about whether my words were "worthwhile." Which I've come to the surety (at least on most days) is a meaningless concept here on tumblr, people can follow you or block you, you're not forcing your words in anyone's face. Seeing all the silly stuff that does get posted has helped me get over the feeling that I'm supposed to be making "worthwhile" content.

It's very freeing (especially as a former perfectionist who once felt she had to read and analyze every single one of an author's dozen or so novels* in order to write a term paper on him) to realize that I don't have to be an expert on anything to write about it on here. I can write in the voice that I want to, and use too many adjectives and adverbs and run-on sentences, and not feel like I have to write concisely or "properly" or even "understandably" if I don't feel like it. I can just share my thoughts and reactions and even be wrong (gasp!) or ignorant (the horrors!) and nothing bad will happen. I've been fortunate in that no one has been hateful or even slightly rude to me yet (the QL community seems particularly kind, even for tumblr), but if it ever does happen, that block button is a powerful tool.

One interesting side effect (or perhaps cause, who knows how these chains of causality are linked) is that I almost never watch episodes of shows straight through anymore. I used to be a binge watcher, a whole season (or more!) in one go with barely a break. Now I almost always pause many many times an episode. Sometimes just to take a break, sometimes to write down my thoughts in the notes app or something (i'll often have two devices in front of me at once, or switch back and forth between apps/tabs/programs) or to liveblog here on tumblr. I'm now pretty much incapable of watching a show without feeling the urge to write about it. Which is both good and bad 🤷🏻‍♀️

In terms of what actually happened to get me posting: I think sometimes (like today) my brain just overflows and then I start writing and the self-consciousness mostly falls to the wayside. Which isn't a helpful suggestion if that's not what your brain does, but it is what happened.

The Advice Part:

I have a couple of ideas for you, based on possible things that could be holding you back from participating. If it's that you feel self-conscious, you can keep doing what you're doing now and sending anonymous thoughts to other bloggers. Not everyone accepts anon asks, but most people who do are happy to publish them and have a conversation with people on anon. Or you could create a sideblog, or even an entire separate blog that you use to post your thoughts about BL, in a way that might feel even more safely anonymous than your regular tumblr. You don't even have to tag anything or follow anyone if you want the cocoon of being relatively invisible while expressing your thoughts. Then, if that starts to feel more comfortable you could start tagging, or reblogging other people's stuff, and start sharing your ideas more publicly. Or stay in that cocoon forever; there is no reason to leave if that's what feels comfortable!

Or you could start (assuming you don't already) by reblogging stuff and adding comments in the tags. And if that starts to feel less scary, or like not enough room for what you want to say, you could shift to reblogging with comments in the... whatever its called, the not tags. And replying rather than reblogging might feel a little safer - it's not quite so public, only the original poster or those who intentionally look into the notes will see it.

If the issue is that you feel overwhelmed by all your ideas, or all the shows, you could pick one or two shows to talk about. Or one or two bloggers to reply to. Or set a goal for yourself of one post a week/a day/whatever works. Just something to create some structure for yourself to make it feel less overwhelming.

Looking back over your ask, I'm not even sure you were looking for advice, but... uh... here some is anyways? Feel free to write back! With questions about this, anything else, or just to chat some more. Or for an anonymous venue for your thoughts!

(One last piece of practical advice, inspired by my computer just dying on me as I was finishing this up. Save Your Drafts! Save early and often. Save whenever you have to navigate away from the editing page. Most of the time the post editor is pretty good. And it even has an autosave function now, at least sometimes, under certain conditions. Which has saved me before from losing stuff, but it's not a surefire thing. So, since it's a pain to try and recreate something painstakingly written, I do highly recommend saving early and often.)

*the novelist was Ayi Kwei Armah, for anyone curious. and it must have been less than a dozen books. but it felt like a lot. sadly I remember very little of either the books or the term paper now.

p.s. I am like so unbelievably flattered by you coming to me for advice and wanting to know my story. i'm flattered by any and all asks i've ever gotten, really. so thank you 😊

[mcnuggyy]

I promise I'd just like to hear your thoughts on this and I'm genuinely not looking for permission or anything, but years ago I saw how some people really disliked "genderbent" designs for some valid reasons. I was nervous to do it wrong or upset anyone so I avoided doing it ever since. But now I know better, and I'm under the impression it's better to do them without obnoxious stereotypes? And not tag it as "bent" but maybe as redesigns? Idc about them that much so I can also never do it too.

Ima be honest anon I genuinely thought we had already reached the “who give a shit” era for ‘genderbents’ but I guess there’s still some uncertainty around it, so I’m gonna give you my personal opinion but please know that each trans person has different feelings about it so feel free to take what I have to say with a grain of salt.

Truly I think with anything, just don’t be weird about it… what I mean by this is, don’t be transphobic, know what harmful transphobic stereotypes there are, especially when it comes to transmisogyny. Racist stereotypes as well especially when doing a genderbend with or involving a character of color! Don’t over sexualize minors when gender bending them (obvious but I have seen it too many times), don’t be homophobic about it, like if there’s a canon gay couple where they are both clearly gay don’t change the gender of one character just to make it straight (again seems obvious but I do still see this, if one of them is bi again ‘who give a shit’). Remember that sex and gender and gender presentation are 3 separate things, but also the concept gender and sex is so fluid and gray and most of the rules we made up as humans so like, sometimes there’s a gray area between a genderbend and a trans head canon and or trans interpretation so keep that in mind! Honestly drawing genderbends helped me and a bunch of other trans friends realize we were trans and explore our gender in a safe and fun way, but even if your’e cis, like as long as you’re not being weird, go for it, I don’t care! Like even if you’re sexualizing an adult with your genderbend… as long as you’re not being like fetishistic and weird I also don’t care, especially if it’s funny, like if you’re genderbending the entire Big Bang theory cast and give Sheldon huge anime tittles like honestly go for it, I do not care LMAO 😭😭😭 but again this is my own personal opinion and keep in mind I’m non-binary so I’m already like ‘who cares’ about gender bends cause most of the time people don’t even do anything fun or interesting with it, they just wanna be horny, which again, I don’t care as long as it’s not like some poor kids cartoon. Which is probably why at this point most people just do trans interpretations cause they will always always always be way more interesting that some guy wanting to draw SpongeBob with a fat ass so there ya go.

Also people are aloud to not like what you end up doing… but I don’t think it’s immoral or evil or anything to draw like Saul Goodman as a hot babe, I certainly don’t care, but others are absolutely within their right to voice any opinions about it, just cause that’s show business babeyyyy. But again I think you’re probably fine, especially since it sounds like you’re already aware of what not to do and are genuinely being thoughtful so, I say go for it! Who give a shit! <3