#honestly every time this happens it makes me want to just throw in the towel

[mickules]

YOU'RE FREE OF THE MATURE FILTER THING I THINK

LORD YOU'RE RIGHT

And it only took *checks notes* 23 days, removing infinite scroll from my theme, 4 separate support tickets, 3 times I linked them their own TOS, 2 'how did we do :-3?' surveys and one post @'ing staff.

At the end, I still couldn't reply to a single e-mail, couldn't 'review' my flagged post, and they never even told me why it had triggered the "Mature" label in the first place.

Fix your shit first tumblr Fix the tags, fix the search function, fix the bots, fix your '''community labels''' before you listen to how profit-makers who've cannibalised the internet say you should ☝️ improve 👆 the site

for folk who like to throw stones at twitter, you sure are sitting in a fucking glass house

[cdbabymp3]

𐙚chris' girl (intro) ― matt sturniolo

summary: matt has a not-so-innocent crush on chris' girlfriend

notes/warnings (pls read!!) : this series is going to be nsfw ! if u don't fw that, kindly, bye <3 reader is a popular influencer in la and lowkey oblivious but not really...you'll see lol, alcohol, partying, smoking, the whole nine yards honestly, buckle up...

*this is a work of FICTION, i don't think any of this would actually happen lmfao, it's just for fun! while chris and matt both like reader, there will be no incest shit whatsoever. you can 1000% miss me with that, thank youuu !

[unedited]

it started off with little things every so often. there wasn't this big moment that made matt fall for her, it was more so a collection of interactions he thought back on before bed every night. these interactions, some innocent, some... not so much, plagued his mind. she was everywhere. in his head, in his car, in his house, on his couch. the smell of her vanilla perfume always lingered. he'd pretend to complain, but there was never an ounce of actual annoyance in his voice. it was almost visceral, the way his body reacted to merely thinking about these interactions.

like the time she came into his room for a towel before her and chris went to the hot tub. matt almost choked on his own saliva, the sight of her in the tiniest black bikini known to man, belly button piercing sparkling. the $300 vivienne westwood necklace chris gave her for her birthday dangled dangerously low in the valley of her full chest. matt couldn't speak, but how could he? all he could do was gulp and hand her the towel.

or that time when he was heading to his room for the night, but caught of glimpse of chris' cracked door. she sat on the edge of his, back to the door, slipping the straps of her pink bra back on. she turned her head slowly, as if she knew. but matt was quick to keep walking. did she know? did she want me to see her like that? these questions loomed around matt's mind, a constant battle of fighting what he actually saw versus what his fantasies made him believe. it was bad, that half-awake, half-asleep state of being that would nearly convince matt there was chance she had interest in him.

he could her voice saying his name over and over again.

"matt, matt, matt, matt...-MATT, WAKE THE FUCK UP!" chris interjected, throwing a pillow at matt's head. matt jolted up, gasping for air, chest heaving up and down.

"chris!" matt scowled at him, hand over his heart to make sure he was still alive after being in that much shock.

"ooooh, someone was having a good dream." chris teased, flicking on the lights, "c'mon, seriously, get up. i told y/n we'd pick her up on the way to the party." he mentioned casually, leaving the room to make sure nick was ready to leave as well.

the party. matt had completely forgot. fuck.

the drive to y/n's house was normal: matt drove, nick sat in the passenger seat texting different group chats to see who was coming to the party, and chris sat in the back middle on aux, per usual. maybe it was pathetic, but every time they picked up y/n, matt's stomach would get that light feeling right before you go on a massive roller coaster. he thought with time, it would go away. this had to be the 5th or 6th time they were picking her up, but the feeling in stomach proved no signs of lessening in the slightest. matt would just have to deal with it. he took a deep breath, slowly pulling into her driveway and turning down the music a bit. chris sent his usual "i'm here" text and it wasn't even two minutes later that y/n came strutting out. a pale pink, skin-tight dress that stopped barely after the curve of her ass adorned her body. her chunky black heels clicked against the pavement as she made her way to matt's car. she did a little wave at matt and nick through the driver's side window before opening the back door, chris holding out of hand to help her in.

once she closed the door, the vanilla wave of her perfume set in instantly, matt's grip on the wheel tightening.

"hi guys!" her honey voice beamed, adjusting her dress. "hi baby", giving chris a quick kiss on the cheek. his hand went to its usual spot on her inner thigh. and like usual, matt saw this in the rearview mirror, eyes darting from the sight to the gps directions back and forth, making sure chris' hand didn't travel any further. matt reversed the car, praying he could keep his emotions level for the 14 minute remainder of the drive

"you look soooo fucking good!" nick complimented, turning his upper body to face y/n, almost baffled by her beauty.

"yeah, you really do." chris chimed in, hand squeezing her thigh now. seeing this, matt 'accidentally' hit the brakes abruptly at the red light, causing chris' hand to leave her thigh.

"shit, sorry." matt apologized dryly

"matt, focus up! i swear to god, y/n could drive better in her 6 inch heels." chris jokes, and nick laughs, but y/n swats chris' arm.

"leave him alone." y/n rolls her eyes, digging in her purse for lipgloss.

matt tried so hard not to smirk, turning into the street where the party was happening and parking a couple houses down. the whole street was packed, luxury cars filled every available spot on the curb, beautiful people all heading to the biggest house on the block.

matt didn't register the moments before entering the house, mainly by choice. he hated watching chris always give her the sloppiest tongue kiss whenever they got out of the car. he hated the awkward walk up the street, y/n and chris walking in front of him, hand in hand, while he had to listen to nick's latest tangent.

once nick swung the door open, though, matt had no choice but to look alive. deafeningly loud rap struck matt's chest, the bass booming and buzzing throughout his whole body. y/n and chris went straight to get drinks and greet people like they always did. matt trailed loosely behind.

after a couple drinks, chris and y/n were the stars of the party. y/n body-rolled to the music, chris stood closely behind her, one hand on her hip and the other holding his solo cup in the air. everyone was dancing and having a good time, and then there was matt. he stood off to the side near the drink table, sipping root beer from the can, summoning the strength not to leave with every body-roll and swivel of y/n's hips against chris' groin. matt shook his head, frankly pissed off. chris always did that stupid thing where he pretended to act shocked by y/n's dancing as if they didn't go to parties together all the time. thankfully, matt's suffering was cut short when chris left y/n to get a refill. he walked up to the drink table, pouring himself a shot-sized amount of vodka into the cup, eyeing matt's muted disposition.

"y'know, matt, you could actually talk to people or have a good time here. no one's paying you to stand there like a fucking statue." chris threw his head back, downing the liquor.

"my stomach hurts." matt remarked flatly, sipping his root beer. to be fair, his stomach did actually hurt. the reason why, he couldn't tell his brother-or anyone, really.

"whatever." chris waved him off, leaving to talk with some friends in the other corner.

matt sighed, stomach in knots, the knots covered in thorns, the thorns injected with poison. maybe he should leave, just for a bit... tempting, but then he would lose his parking spot and god knows he wouldn't hear the end of it from nick. his thoughts are interrupted by a cloud of smoke wafting in his face. matt coughs as the cloud fades to reveals some random guy. as much as he tried, matt could not for the life of him keep up with what influencer was who.

to be polite, matt nodded at him, "hey, man."

"'sup." the guy reciprocated, taking another hit of from vape. his eyes traveled somewhere else after a moment, staring with his mouth agape. "jesus fucking christ.." he muttered in disbelief.

matt quirked an eyebrow, confused. turning his head to the direction the guy was looking. that confused dissipated in half a second. there she was. y/n in the middle of the crowd, shaking her ass and rotating her hips sensually. her hands slid down the curves her body to the cadence of the song playing. there were other pretty girls dancing around her, but no one could dance the way y/n did. even without intention, y/n had an innate talent for drawing people in.

"oh...yeah, she's-uh-" matt struggled with what to say that wouldn't blow his cover completely.

"please tell me she's single" the guy's eyes widen on y/n's body, his voice soaked in envy, "or is she your girl?"

matt's stomach filled with a new feeling. defeat. he could lie to the guy, sure. he could could say she was single, but to fuck off because he was about to make his move. or he could go a step further and proudly say she was his girl. he doubted the guy would question it. but it wasn't worth it. he was better than that. plus, he knew he'd feel even more pathetic for it later tonight.

"nah, man, " he took one last look at y/n in all her glory, before throwing his drink away. giving the guy a pat on the shoulder in solidarity, "she's chris' girl."

new fic woooooo !!!! i'm excitedddd

this is just the intro, chp.1 will be up later !

[a66-1]

starving.

Simon x Fem!Insecure!Reader.

Part 1 | ???

TW: Talk of ed's, negative self talk, low self esteem, bad mouthing (from reader to herself, comes with the territory) cursing, self harm. i tried not to be too descriptive with the reader, so EVERY insecure girlie who reads this feels seen. (these tw are for the whole thing, im pretty sure this is gonna be a series)

a/n: hey. if you need help, dm me. ill talk to you if you need it :). (also i made my banners. if you want one dm me! i make them for free, just with credit :)) NOT PROOF READ

i hope your doing okay honey.

Stepping out of the shower, the towel around you just big enough to touch ends is slipped around yourself. Showering is getting harder. You can barely stand glancing at the mirror now.

You dry yourself off, and hand the towel back up. You can do it, just walk past the mirror to grab your clothes.

You take the steps past the mirror, and turn your back to the mirror to change. Slipping your bra on, and it squishes the skin on your back and you grimace.

Once your dressed, you turn back around. The nagging voices are just waiting to pounce. I mean, what? You used to be so skinny.

You used to be pretty.

You decided to let your hair air dry, and you walk into your bedroom. You had work today, but you really wish you didn't. It was a bad week, you'd skipped 3 meals in the last few days and you know what your therapist would say.

'The progress you've made, hun. You can't go back now.'

The bad days are getting too close to each other now. You used to have at least a week between them, but now it's barely 48 hours. Maybe being off medicine isn't working good anymore.

Maybe you're no good.

You throw in a big hoodie, one that covers you, and some sweat pants, glancing at the big mirror in your room.

You can't stop analyzing yourself.

There's not one good thing on you is it?

Fuck.

The rest of the day was spent at your stupid 9-5, with your stupid boss, in your stupid, lonely life. Christ, being off anti-depressants is really hitting you hard. Everyone at your job is stupid and today every customer who wants to blow you ear off about how you kids these days, by the end of the day, your so tense that your shoulders are aching.

You got about 30 minutes left at this off-brand kroger store, when a big, big ass man walks in, shoving a mask with a skull print on it on. You curse to yourself, you really don't want to have to call the police for a robbery, you just want to go home.

To be honest, if he had a gun, you'd be half tempted to let him shoot you-

"Ma'am?" A heavy British accent came from your right. You turn your head, and scan his few items. You don't bother with the how are you's and you sigh.

"It'll be 16.84." You drag your eyes to his, and he reaches to his pocket, pulling out..

A wallet. What else were you thinking?

He hands you a twenty, and you hand him his respective change. He bags his own items, because honestly, you seem like the only worker in the store. Your face is written with exhaustion, whether it be from this job or something else, and the guy notices.

"Have uh... A good day." He nods to you, and walks off.

You purse your lips, and sigh, closing your cashier, because fuck finishing today. You're too close to a breakdown, and you're not trying to let anyone see.

You drive home, your hands tight around the wheel. You know it's a bad idea to be driving this emotional, to the point you wonder what would happen if you swerve your car into a tree.

You won't do it though.

You need to get back out there. It's why you stopped taking your meds.

You promise yourself that tomorrow you'll go out, and at least get a one night stand, you want need, anything.

Once home and in bed, you scroll and scroll and scroll. Doom scrolling is too common on these longer nights. You have a pillow tucked into your arm, and your hand squeezes it every time that pang in your lower chest rings out. Loneliness, you think.

You always scroll through your old friends instagrams or snapchats, seeing their nice bodies and nice boyfriends. You've been so nice and kind and karma should be on your side, but it always failed.

Especially after your last boyfriend.

Your friends say to wait.

To wait.

To wait.

But waiting is getting harder. Days are getting longer, and your head seems to spin more when left to its own devices. Why do you have to wait?

Your looks.

Your personality.

Who'd wanna be seen with you?

You flip your phone over, and shove your face in the pillow, your breathing staggered.

You fell asleep late, that night. The tears brought you to exhaustion.

woah why did this take 2 tries to write.

be waiting for pt.2

TRUST FINALS ARE SOOM COMING TO AN END and summer i will be STEWING TRUST!!!

Taglist!

@i-am-hungry-24-7

thank you for all the support. drunk simon blew up and im crying bc i came back after a 2 year hiatus and i wasn't getting the same feedback as usual so to finally seeing people enjoy my work again makes me feel great. <3

sorry simon wasn't in this part much. you gotta know the reader first tho, right?

bye babes..

-a661

[sc0tters]

Behind Closed Doors | Trevor Zegras

summary: you and Trevor have been in a FWB relationship for over a year, but what happens when he gets jealous during your families yearly trip to the lake house?

song: I Can See You - Taylor Swift

request: yes/no

warnings: jealous (and lowkey toxic Trevor), fwb relationship, mentions of sexual themes but nothing explicit.

word count: 1.54k

authors note: this is the first Hughes sibling piece that I have ever done! Trevor does honestly give me that toxic boy vibe sometimes so I’m hoping I’ve given it justice. if you want to see more or be apart of the 150 celly you can check the playlist out here!

pt2

Everywhere you looked he was there.

Trevor had been apart of the steady stream of guests that the lake house had homed for the last week and a half. Usually you loved having your brothers friends there, most you had grown to call friends of yours to. But Trevor was different.

You had been a study at the university of California for the entire duration of your degree. Jack had asked the older boy to look out for you because he couldn’t stand the idea of his twin sister being all the way across the country.

Being the good best friend that Trevor was he fully took on the role making sure that he saw you at least once a week and if the Ducks were playing a weekend game at home then you were there. You two spent two years doing that, you’d watch the occasional girl walk in and out of his life and you couldn’t help but feel your heart full with sorrow. From the day you met Trevor you actually found him really irritating but on your fifteenth birthday when he simply said that you looked nice, it all changed. Suddenly he was no longer just Jacks friend and national teammate but he was now also cute.

Over the two years you were his usual plus one to team events to the point where you somehow cracked the nod to join the wags group chat. Despite both of your efforts to shut down those rumours it always fell on deaf ears as the team had actually made a bet on when you two would finally admit to it.

But of course that day never came, the day that did come though was the one where you two slept together. It was after a surprising Ducks win and when Trevor came over to celebrate you were in nothing more than your towel as you were about to hop in the shower. With a simple surge of confidence that you got when he was left speechless at the sight, you asked if he wanted to join.

That was over a year ago yet it was the start of a different stage in your relationship. Once you two toed the line of being something more than friends you two got addicted, thus throwing yourselves into the deep end of that pool headfirst.

It was nice, your needs were met in bed and Trevor never treated you like you were just his fuckbuddy. You were everything that girlfriend was, except you didn’t have the title and beyond the comfort of your dorm and his apartment you were clearly nothing more than a friend.

Your mind refused to see the red flags that your friends raised. Each time they did you would brush it off as you tried to explain that he kept you his little secret for the sakes of the relationship he had with Jack.

As much as you loved your brothers you knew that they would kill any boy they learnt was in your bed.

Somehow your friends convinced you to see where you really stood with Trevor though. The plan was intricate and detailed but your job was simple.

All you had to do was treat him how he treated you. It meant that you practically had to ignore him.

By day three you wanted to give up, you wanted to send him a text and tell to come to your room.

But with the thought of your friends killing you, it caused you to prevail. In a way it was actually not as hard as you thought it would be, not when Alex was practically attached to your hip “Al!” You let out a squeal as the boy tackled you into the pool.

Trevor watched the interaction with a scowl on his face. Was Alex the one that you were inviting to your room when everyone went to sleep? And since when were you two so close? It seemed like every time he wanted to talk to you Alex was with you, either on the end of your sun lounger, sharing your couch with you. Or Trevor’s least favourite how you would be sat on Alex’s lap as his hands laced around your waist as he whispered sweet nothings in your ear.

It irritated him how nonchalantly Jack reacted about the actions, how the Devils player even laughed when your head came up out of the water.

You shoved the boys arm as you sent him a playful glare “asshole,” you murmured as you shook your head.

Alex grinned as he pulled you into a hug “you love me.” He smiled as he rested his chin on your head.

If you had to describe the Kings player you would say he was nice. Alex’s personality deserved more of a description than what the bland word gave him but it was exactly how you felt around him. Quinn came out of the kitchen pulling everyone’s attention away from the pool “who is on the boat in ten?” He asked as he placed his hands on his hips. Through the stream of nods you shook your head “gonna take a shower,” you announced as you got out of the water smiling as your younger brother was quick to hand you a towel.

This was the moment Trevor needed “I gotta call my mom,” he lied as his eyes watched you make your way back into the house.

The chirps from the boys were met with silence as the Ducks player didn’t care, not when he was going to talk to you.

For Trevor the week had been hell, having to watch you walk around in your little bikinis and not being able to touch you was the worst. Yesterday he watched you eat a popsicle and swore that you were doing it all to screw with him. The way your lips wrapped around the flavoured ice was the same way your lips usually wrapped around his cock.

So naturally there was a slight pep in his step as he didn’t really care about the fact that all three of your brothers were still downstairs “mom?” You called out from your bathroom as you heard the door open.

It brought a laugh from Trevor’s lips “haven’t called me that before,” he teased as he leaned against the frame of your bathroom door.

Your eyes went wide as you looked at the boy “what are you doing here?” You asked as you crossed your arms.

It irritated you how calm he was being “missed you,” he confessed as he walked into the bathroom and sent you a smile “missed these,” he added as he let his finger run through the strap of your bikini.

The feeling sent shivers down your spine “took you a week to decide that?” You cocked your head as the boy moved his finger to the gap between the two cups of your bikini top as he pulled you closer to him.

Trevor gave you this look that made you weak in the knees “knew it from the first day,” it came to a surprise for the boy when you didn’t even get off of the couch to hug him when he arrived.

You were too engrossed in the game of Mario Kart that you had going with Cole to even bat an eyelash at the New York native.

His possessiveness put a smile on your face “you jealous?” You asked as you raked your fingers through the ends of his hair.

It was a move that made him melt, he loved it when you had your fingers in his hair “nope,” his lips popped as he shook his head “why should I be when I’m the one in here with you?” Trevor pointed out as he ran his thumb over your lip.

The comment caused you to frown “could have had Alex in here just as fast.” You mumbled as you tried to look at the ground.

Trevor didn’t let you though as he hooked his fingers under your jaw “you know he couldn’t give you what I can,” he warned as he softly squeezed your chin.

You almost wanted to laugh “and what is it that you can give me?” You batted your eyelashes at him.

The hockey player pecked your lips “the fucking world baby,” he explained as he smiled “now he a good girl and start the shower for me.” His voice was soft as he leaned over to turn your speaker on that immediately connected to his phone.

The request made you furrow your eyebrows “why?” You asked as you watch him pick the playlist that you had made one day when you were bored.

Trevor leaned down to your ear “would hate for your parents to hear what I have in mind for you,” it made your knees buckle as your back was pushed against the cold tile of your bathroom wall.

You were quick to nod “my good little girl,” he repeated those words as he kissed your neck before he watched you make your way to the shower to fulfil his request.

No matter how hard you tried, your relationship was always going to stay like this.

Only for your eyes,

Only behind closed doors.

[ghosts-bandwagon]

can we have a headcannon of y/n (female) thats throwing dark humour around everytime and have 141 + Rudy, Alejandro nd konig react to her lmao 🤣

Can we have that? 💜 Thank you

Girl. Literally me. (I give my coworkers whiplash but they dish it pretty good too lmao)

Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley:

Might actually get a decent laugh out of him, we’ve all heard his horrendous hilarious jokes, so we all know he can dish it, but can he take it? Depends on the type of humor

If it’s self-depreciating, probably not. Doesn’t really get it? Like he does but he sees you too positively for the humor to click.

Unalive jokes? Definitely not. Hates hearing it from you even if you’re laughing about it, so if you want to make them, you better be cheeky about it (“Head down, sergeant you’ll get spotted.” “Aw sweet, you think so?” You don’t have to be near him or even see him to feel his glare)

Jokes about your traumas? Not super keen on it but if you’re at a point in your life that you feel ok enough to laugh about it, he’s not one to take wind out of your sails (“Damn, this drink hits harder than my dad.” “Sweetheart. Please.”

But if your jokes are similar to his, then your chances of getting a laugh out of him went up exponentially (he thinks he’s so god damn funny and he’s right. king.)

“How do you turn a salad into a Cesar salad?”

“How?”

“Stab it 23 times.” Soap audibly groaned,

“That’s my girl.”

All in all, you’ll get a deep sigh with pinching the bridge of his nose for every joke you make, and maybe you’ll get a pretty laugh from him (god I bet his laugh is so nice 😭)

John ‘Soap’ MacTavish:

(laughs nervously) what the fuck?

He’s heard Ghost’s jokes firsthand, so the dark humor isn’t new to him. He might even laugh with you and crack a few of his own

Honestly, as long you’re having a laugh he’s not really that worried (still a little worried tho)

He trusts that if you’re feeling particularly bad about something, you’d talk to him about it and he’s here for that

He kind of enjoys the theatre of it, the dramatic reactions to something so seemingly mundane,

“So when are you gonna take me out?”

“To dinner? We just ate, bonnie.”

“… not what I meant but I love where your heads at.”

“Not in a million years.” He laughs kissing your temple and squeezing you against him

“So you’re saying there’s a chance? It’s just a matter of when, got it. Thanks babe, I owe you”

John Price:

He’s not thrilled about it but he’s worked with Ghost so he’s somewhat built a tolerance

He knows you sometimes use dark humor as a coping mechanism but he’ll tease you saying you should come with a warning label

He’s definitely choked at hearing some of the things come out of your mouth, at least the jokes relating to your own traumas, those always give him whiplash

He finds your situational dark humor much funnier than anything you might say that involves you being harmed, even if it is a joke that’s kind a nightmare scenario for him

Those will definitely get a chuckle out of him, just please stop making jokes about yourself, he loves you a little too much to stomach them

“What does my dad have in common with Nemo?” He refuses to answer, he knows, he fucking knows

“They both can’t be found.”

God damn it, sweetheart

Kyle ‘Gaz’ Gerrick:

He’ll join you for sure lmao

He’ll see you sparring on the mats with Soap and he sees you land a particularly rough kick that he managed to block

“Damn babe, that was clean. Now do it right here.” He’s pointing at his temple, you laugh and throw your sweaty towel at him

You’re out on recon and you’re making your way towards the targeted area,

“I’d be terrible if I was discovered, sure hope there aren’t any snipers to take me out. That’d be awful.”

Price groaned even as Kyle stifled a chuckle,

“Come on, love, we’re a bit too good to let that happen to you.”

“That’s the real tragedy, honestly.”

“Enough, you two.”

König:

He thinks you’re funny but low key a little worried at how easily the jokes come to you

But if you’re laughing and having a good time, then so is he!

Sometimes you really do say some crazy things and he doesn’t know whether to laugh or to hug you

He likes the jokes that have nothing to do with you much better, you’d be sitting at a briefing in the far corner when you lean in and whisper quietly,

“Köni, what’s red and bad for your teeth?”

“Hm?”

“A brick.”

He stifles a laugh and shakes his head, you can see the corners of his eyes crinkle as he tries to hide the smile.

Alejandro Vargas:

Honestly, he kind of gives me the vibe of “telling a joke becomes receiving a lecture”

Like you’ll make a joke and look at him and he’s deadpanned,

“Mi amor, that’s no laughing matter.” And then he goes into a full lecture about why what you said was out of pocket and a little hurtful

It’s not that he doesn’t understand the humor he’s just concerned

But, he prefers the goofier jokes I feel like,

“An apple a day keeps the doctor away, or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.”

“Mensa.” He pushes your shoulder playfully with a laugh.

Dumb jokes like that get a good laugh out of him, just don’t make them about you please he loves you so much and he will lecture you

Rodolfo Parra:

Mortified in Spanish

“Mi vida, please don’t make those jokes.”

They break his poor little heart :( he loves you so much it makes him sad to hear make such harsh jokes about yourself or even see such awful things

He sighs every time he hears one of your jokes and gives this look 🥺

He doesn’t like that you joke about yourself or the things that have happened to you like that

He understands that humor is sometimes a coping mechanism, but he’d much rather talk through the things you’re joking about

He just cares about you so god damn MUCH

But if they’re nonsensical, then he’ll chuckle quietly,

“You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving.”

“What? Amor you definitely-”

“You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.”

“Dios mío, amor.” He chuckles.

[irene9900]

NSFW ALPHABET

Kyojuro Rengoku Edition

Kyojuro Rengoku x Fem!Reader

CW: Sex and Fluff (some sections turned out more fluff compared to others). Some have small drabbles and some don’t.

TW: Breeding kink, oral, lots of fluff, oral both giving and receiving, bondage.

Please let me know if I missed any of the tags.

Minors and Ageless Blogs please DNI.

A/N: The amount of times I typed cunt and it corrected itself to cube, I’m hoping I caught and fixed every single one. I believe it’s proofread.

Aftercare

He is such a sweet man. Husband material. Takes care of you first and foremost. Gentle thigh massages as he cuddles you that may or may not turn into another round.

Cuddles. Pulls you in as the little spoon or right on top of him. Definitely cages you in with his arms.

Always, always, always gives you a kiss on the head before going to sleep. He never forgets.

“One moment Little Flame.” Kyojuro says, getting up from the futon.

Moments later he comes back, small towel in hand. He gently wipes up your thighs and stomach, making sure he’s wiped up all of his cum before throwing the cloth out and returning to bed.

He lays on the futon next to you, pulling you close in his arms. You feel his lips brush the top of your ear, a quick peck before he, and you, drift off to sleep.

Body Parts

For himself, I honestly want to say his entire body. He’s not vain about it or anything. He’s just proud of himself and he takes care of himself. He knows how important each part of his body is and he’s proud of his strength.

Sexually, his favorite part would be your boobs. It doesn’t matter the size, he still enjoys resting his head against them, listening to the steady strum of your heart beat.

Non-sexually, his favorite part is your eyes. It’s the silent way you talk through your eyes that he ultimately adores.

You’re laying against your shared futon when Kyojuro walks in, looking a bit worse for wear.

“Darling what happened?” You sit up, watching the man pull is haori off.

“I’m fine, just tired is all.” His getting to the buttons on his uniform top now.

“No, Kyo, that’s not just tired. Let me help you get cleaned up.” You push his hands aside, continuing his work. You push the top off gently, checking for any bleeding or scratches. You continue with the rest of his clothes before ushering him into to the bath.

“You don’t have to do this.” He says, seeing you strip yourself,“I can wash myself.”

“Relax Kyojuro, I’ve got you.” You gently lather his hair, scrubbing all the dirt and sweat from his latest mission off.

You lather the rest of his body, massaging every nook and cranny. His body instinctively leans into your touch, eyes closed and seemingly relaxed.

“Isn’t this nice Kyojuro?” You ask him. He hums in response, enjoying your tender touches.

You finish washing him off and go to grab him and yourself each a towel.

“Let’s get dressed and lay together, hm?” You say, “does that sound good?”

“Yes it does.”

After getting settled into your shared bed, he pulls you close, face nestling itself into the expanse of your chest.

“I can hear your wonderful heart.” He smiles, drifting off to sleep.

Cum

When he cums, he stiffens up hard. If you’re in missionary or cowgirl, he will grip on to your thighs for life. He’s left some bruising sometimes. If you’re in doggy, it’s the same deal except more so on your hips.

He definitely prefers to cum inside, but like the gentleman he is, will cum anywhere you ask him to.

His second favorite would be your face. He didn’t think he’d be as into it as he was, until he painted your face with cum for the first time. The way your lips darted out to lick up his cum had him ready for round two.

You were crouched on your knees, uniform top splayed open, exposing your bare breasts.

Kyojuro, on the other hand, just had his pants undone just enough to pull his cock out.

You tongue swirled across the tip, hand at the base providing extra stimulation.

“I-I’m close.” Kyojuro places a hand in your hair, gripping tightly. His hand covers yours, pulling himself barely out of your mouth, painting your face with his cum.

You smiled, licking your lips. You wiped some off your face using your finger, licking it off your finger straightaway.

“You taste delicious Kyojuro.”

“I think we need to find a more secluded area.”

Dirty Secret

He definitely has woken up to a few wet dreams about the two of you. Especially before you two had any sort of sexual contact. On occasion, he has also found his eyes wandering around your uniform, in a way he shouldn’t be looking at you.

You were one of his best friends, someone he trusted with his entire life. Stuff that you would say about him too and here he goes having wet dreams about his best friend.

But he still can’t get the thoughts out of his mind. The way you took control, placing your hands on his chest, pushing him against his futon. The way you moaned, head tilted back as you bounced on his cock.

The mere thoughts of the dream make his cock twitch.

Experience

Personally, he’s got little to none. BUT he does have a really good friend with three wives. He has definitely heard and learned a thing or two from him.

Especially when it came to prep and making sure you were pleasured enough before penetrative sex. It’s safe to say he put those lessons to good use.

“One more My Flame, I know you can do it.”

“Kyojuro,” you moan, toes curling as his fingers reach that one spot inside, “it’s too much!”

His tongue returns to your clit, giving it a few kitten licks before swirling the nub in his mouth, sucking tenderly. The band that had been threatening to snap again finally did, cumming again on Kyojuro’s face, as he lapped up every single drop.

“I think you’re ready My Flame.” Pulling himself up from your wet heat.

Favorite Position

Missionary, cowgirl, mating press.

He wants to see your face at all times, but he won’t deny how good it feels having you in doggy.

Sometimes he loves just having you pushed against a wall or tree (after training and he can’t wait to take you) legs wrapped around him as he pounds into your wet cunt.

~Continuation of Experience~

He pushes your legs apart further, guiding himself closer to your wet heat.

He nudges the tip across your folds a couple times before pushing past, into your soaking cunt.

“You’re taking me so well, Little Flame.” He groans, grip on your hips tightening as he bottoms out.

“Kyojuro, please move.” You whine, hips bucking for any sort of friction. He grabs your thighs, pushing them against your chest as he slowly pulls himself out, slamming right back in.

A loud moan escapes your lips. Kyojuro continues at that pace, abusing your cunt with the harshness of his thrusts, but loving how much you enjoy it. Watching your head tilt back against the sheets, eyes shut, unlike your mouth. Airy moans constantly stream from your lips, only word you’re able to get out is his name.

Goofy

Sometimes accidents happen during sex. Sometimes they’re fucking hilarious. The amount of times he’s accidentally slipped out too far and messed up the pace.

You both tend to laugh off the mishaps and continue forth like nothing really happened.

Hair

Like the rest of his body, I think he’s pretty unruly down there too. Carpet matching the drapes.

He also doesn’t seem like the type to care about if you’re shaven or not. As long as those legs are spread and you’re willing, he’s diving right in.

Intimacy

He’s a romantic. Like Prince Charming, let me sweep you off your feet, romantic. Listens to you and knows what you want.

He turns the smallest moments into the most intimate. He’s just very domestic. Husband material.

He trails kisses down your next, starting with your earlobe. His touch has small whimpers coming out, wanting more. You’re perched in his lap on the floor, supposed to be getting ready for bed.

“Kyo-,” you moan out, “please don’t tease me.”

“My Flame, I wasn’t trying to I promise. Let me make it up to you.”

He plants kisses further down your neck, pulling your kimono open to gain access to your chest. He pulls away first, admiring your bare form.

“You’re lovely, Y/N.” He kisses your collarbone.

“You mean the world to me.” Closing in on your breasts.

“My Flame, my other half. My world would be nearly empty without you.” He takes your left breast into his mouth, sucking tenderly, massaging your right breast with his callused hands.

He lets go of your breasts, hands finding the rest of your kimono, half draped on your body still. He finishes pulling it off before undoing his own, leaving you both bare in the darkness of the room.

He pushes you completely against the futon. “Feel my love tonight, My Flame.”

Jack Off

It’s very seldom he masturbates. When you’re away on missions and it’s been long since he’s felt your touch, he often jacks off to relive some of that tension.

Best believe you’re in for a wild night of intimacy when he has you in his arms again.

Kinks

Breeding Kink; I see him wanting a big family. He’s happy with anything that you’ll give him though. Be prepared. The moment you tell him you’re ready for a baby, you won’t be leaving your bed for a week at least.

Praise Kink; both giving and receiving. He enjoys knowing he’s doing good and he loves letting you know how good you’re making him feel.

Bondage; I think the biggest thing for him is trust. He trusts you completely to tie him up and have your way with him and vice versa.

Switch; as long as there is no heavy degradation going on, he’ll gladly let you take the lead and vice versa.

Location

He prefers the comfort of your shared room. There have been a few desperate times on the training grounds where he’s gotten a bit risky.

Sex is really intimate for him, knowing he can take his time with you and make sure you both get enjoyment is why he prefers it as private as he can get it.

Motivation

This man can think about to hand get horny. It doesn’t take much for this man to get a hard on.

He’s a goner when you caress his forearms and nibble on his neck. He’ll be hard in seconds.

NO

I don’t think he’d be into threesomes. Nor anything that will leave lasting marks.

I feel like the safe word would be food related (not umai) but the first word that comes to my head is tea.

Oral

He prefers giving more than receiving. He knows that’s where you’re more likely to get better orgasms, compared to him.

He’ll lie between your legs until he’s pulled one for sure but he likes to get you to two or three before penetrating you.

With receiving, like mentioned previously, he loves cumming on your face. Also likes when you use a combination of your mouth and hands to get him off.

Pace

He starts off slow at first. He tends to keep that pace until you ask for something different.

He loves watching the way he disappears inside of your warm cunt.

In doggy, he’ll pull out slowly, but slam his hips back in quickly.

Quickie

Make him desperate enough and he’ll take you right then and there. He does not handle teasing well at all.

He’s roughest during these sessions, normally because you’ve riled him up to the point he’s semi-frustrated and he’s fucking it out on you.

Elaborated on in Risk.

Risk

It depends on two things: how fast he’d be able to get to the bedroom and how desperate he is for your touch.

There have been a couple instances on the training grounds that have tried his patience and won, pushing you against the tree and having his way with you.

“We won’t get any training done if you keep grinding your hips against me like that.” His hands gripped your waist, stopping your motions.

“I can’t help it. You look hot right now. I’m finding it really hard to control myself.”

He picks you up, carrying you over to a nearby tree, leaning you against it. He helps you wrap your legs properly around him.

Undoing his pants, while you push your panties aside, he enters in one quick motion. You wrap your arms around his neck, holding on tight as he pounds hard and fast into your sopping cunt.

You moan loudly, nails digging into his back as he shows no signs of stopping.

Stamina

He lasts one round typically, but he’s an all or nothing type of guy. These aren’t quick rounds where he cums and you maybe cum once.

No, no. He takes his time. Always starting with your pleasure first. Making sure you cum on his tongue and fingers at least once or twice before stuffing you full of his cock.

Toys

I don’t know if this counts as toys, but I think he’d be into bondage. Both ways. He definitely wouldn’t mind being tied up and at your mercy. But he also would like to tie you up.

Unfair

I think it depends on his mood, but usually he’s really fair. There are times when he definitely teases you, with that huge smile plastered all over his face.

Most of the time he’s there to make sure you receive all the pleasure he can give you.

Volume

I would say he only has one volume, but I fully believe he can, and will, get louder. It’s gotten you caught once or twice. He just can’t help it though, not when he feels so good inside you.

Wild card

He’s big on hand holding during sex.

Missionary or cowgirl? Perfect, he’ll hold both of you hands and rut into you at a nice soft pace.

“Come here, My Love.” You pat the futon, urging him to sit down.

He obliges, only for you to climb on top. You place your hands on his chest, pushing him down against the futon.

“Let me take care of you, Kyojuro.” You hands go to your obi belt, slipping it loose, you pull your kimono off the rest of the way, Kyojuro watching intently the entire time.

You pull yourself of him slightly, pulling his clothes off with some assistance from him.

You climb back on his lap, rubbing your folds against his hardened dick. You slide up, using your hands to guide his cock inside, slowly becoming flush with him.

He grabs your hands once you begin to move, interlacing them and you begin to bounce on his cock.

X-ray

At least 7 inches on the girthier side. Definitely veiny too (Know how his forehead pops?) and he knows how to use all of it.

Yearning

Some part of him always wants to be buried inside you, as close as possible.

He misses you constantly. You both have responsibilities that you need to attend to and when you have the time he makes absolutely sure that you know how much you mean to him.

He’s really vocal about how much he missed you, your touch, your smile, everything about you.

Always peppered with kisses.

Zzz…

Like mentioned in Aftercare, he’s normally quick to fall asleep, whether it’s for the night or just a quick power nap to refresh after all the wonderful activities.

He always holds you in some sort of way as he falls asleep.

Sometimes he asks if you’ll be the big spoon.

He loves hearing your heart beat as he falls asleep.

[chaotic-mystery]

Jaded | J.M.

ꨄ Pairing: bfd!Joel x f!reader

ꨄ Summary: It’s been rocky between you and your secret boyfriend who just so happens to also be your best friends dad, ever since you moved to a new city without him. Surprising him for his birthday probably wasn’t the best idea, for either one of you.

ꨄ CW: established relationship, age gap (Joel’s in his late 40s, reader late 20s) swearing, mean!joel, arguing, Joel saying stuff he doesn’t mean like usual, no outbreak!au.

ꨄ WC:2.6k

A/N: am I an asshole for leaving it the way I did? Maybe. We all knew it was coming though! This honestly broke my heart and I hope it reads how I envisioned it. Let me know what you think! 🖤

🝮Songs to listen to for this🝮

Jaded - Miley Cyrus

Sucks 4 U - Sophie Cates

Complicated - Avril Lavigne

Look After You - The Fray

Over You - Daughtry

About You - The 1975

“Joel..” you muttered with your eyes still closed, your arm extending out to the other side of your bed. Slowly blinking your eyes open and sitting up, you breathed in deeply as you looked around confused. There was no reason you should’ve been calling out his name considering he hasn’t come to see you in weeks. Joel was older, it was unrealistic to think he’d text you many times during the day. He preferred calling or coming to visit when he had the weekend off. The past few weekends he decided to stay home which didn’t bother you, but he didn’t call much either. If he did call, it was short and brief, like it was a chore. Joel used to lay the phone on his bare chest, your voice on speaker while he dozed off listening to how pretty you sounded. That hasn’t happened in months.

You hurried to find your phone on the floor, texting Sarah as fast as your fingers could type.

Hey! Are you guys doing anything for your dad’s birthday this weekend?? Should we drive to see him?

Minutes that felt like hours passed and you bit at the inside of your cheek in nervousness, dying to see her response.

I heard from Uncle Tommy they were throwing a surprise party, but i won’t be able to make it home this weekend, soccer game! Feel free to go tho, I’m sure he won’t mind you taking my place! Love ya xo

Your thumb brushed over the side of your phone as you reread the text about a dozen times, contemplating the idea of going. What if he didn’t want to see you? Could you handle that amount of rejection? You needed answers from him though, what happened to him where he felt comfortable treating you like a stranger? Fuck it.

In a matter of 30 minutes you managed to get every single detail from Tommy, your bag packed and GPS routed to Joel’s house. It seemed a little crazy, a spur of the moment trip to drive 4 hours to confront the man who was trying to ghost you. As you got in your car and your playlist blaring through the speakers, you gave yourself a small pep talk, bracing yourself for whatever was about to happen tonight.

———————-

Finally you arrived at the Millers house, Joel’s truck nowhere in sight. You parked a few houses away so he wouldn’t see your car if he took the same route he always did to get home. Tommy pushed the screen door open and greeted you with his arms open and a grin on his face, a kitchen towel over his shoulder. “Well well well, she does live!” Tommy joked with you and grabbed your bag from your hand, walking up the sidewalk to the house. “Alive and well, just fucking starving and I need a shower before I get dressed.” Your arms wrapped around his torso and hugged him tightly. Tommy knew about you and Joel, he knew not to tell Sarah or lead on to anything going on between you and Joel in front of her. “Well c’mon then! Get your shit and let’s go inside, fix ya somethin’ to eat. Joel’s at work but he’ll be here after. All your shit is still upstairs so go on while I make you something I can find in this god forsaken fridge.” Tommy shouted from the kitchen as you shut the front door. Birthday decorations scattered across the walls and the floor, balloons tied to the lamps. Joel always told you to not make a big fuss over his birthday but you and Tommy never listened. Surprise parties were your thing you did for him, so it was nice to see Tommy continuing the tradition. This would make surprise party number three for Joel since you started dating him, and it stung a little bit you didn’t think to come down and plan one for him regardless if he deserved it or not.

You walked up the stairs to Joel’s room, pushing the door open slowly before poking your head in. It smelled just the same, the cologne you got him mixed with the faintest hint of laundry soap that he swore up and down was the best. Tossing your bag on his bed and sighing deeply, you ran a hand through your hair as you wondered what the hell were you doing here.

I miss you! Can I see you this weekend, maybe grab a bite at that favorite restaurant of yours down here? You hesitated to hit send, your heart racing in your chest.

Too nervous to sit and wait for his response, you stripped and made your way to his bathroom. The hair soap you swore you left was nowhere to be found. There was Joel’s sitting on the shelf, so what happened to yours? They were pretty full and Joel didn’t like to use yours. A pit grew in your stomach, the confusion eating at you. As you stepped under the warm water, your tears started to flow freely. It was like Joel was slowly erasing you from his life, piece by piece. For what?

You washed your hair quickly and grabbed the body soap and your wash cloth. Your eyes couldn’t help but flick down to where your soap bottles used to sit, anger coursing through you. If he wanted to see other people, he should’ve just been fucking honest. As you dried off and started to get ready, your mind replayed everything that could’ve caused this. Your relationship wasn’t perfect by any means, you fought almost daily a few months ago before he stopped calling so much. It would be over nothing, just Joel being stubborn. He’d bring up your age and how you’d get bored of him, how he’s not the man you want, how you resent him for not wanting to move with you, stuff you’d never say about him. He was the one that was embarrassed of you. He never wanted you to meet his friends, and when he got tired of your begging and pleading, he finally took you out with them to the bar. That was a fucking joke you thought to yourself as you recalled that night from a year ago.

“Joel what the fuck was that? Why didn’t you call me your girlfriend when you introduced me to them?” you questioned as you got out of his truck in his driveway. You slammed the door shut and he groaned loudly from inside the vehicle, climbing out reluctantly. “The hell are you on about? I told ‘em we were datin’, is that not good enough?” He loved doing that thing where he’d spin it back on you and make you feel so stupid for even bringing it up. “Oh my god, no It’s not like that! I just wanted to know why you didn’t tell them I was your girlfriend and have been for a year!” you bursted through the front door and threw off your purse, tossing it to the ground. “Well excuse the hell outta me! I thought it was the same fuckin’ thing!” he shouted, following you through the house to his room. “Why does it matter so much to you? If you’re with me, what’s it matter, huh?” Joel's hands grabbed your arms and forced you to look at him, his face riddled with confusion and anger. “Because, Joel! I love you and you’re fucking embarrassed to show anyone that!” The hot tears were streaming down your face as you tried to fight him to let go. His face finally softened and he sighed. “Baby…”

That was so long ago and here you were now in his room, finding out the man you thought loved you had maybe not wanted you anymore. Finally zipping up your dress, you fixed your hair one last time and checked your makeup. Something came over you and told you to open the bedside table you used to call yours, wondering if anything was touched. The cool wood brushed over your knuckles as you grabbed the knob and pulled gently, bracing yourself for whatever could be in there. All of your old pictures of you two were in a pile, scattered like someone was digging through them from time to time. The one that was your favorite was all the way at the bottom. It was of Joel, in the ocean and he looks gorgeous. That was your first vacation together, you both went to go see Sarah’s soccer game and you snuck away together while she was at practice to go swimming. He told you he’d help you learn how to swim so he took you out so far you almost couldn’t touch and helped you get over your fear of drowning. “I won’t let that happen, ok? I gotcha sweet pea. Don’t be scared, I’m here.” You recalled how his arms wrapped around you and you felt so safe. He looked so ethereal, like he wasn’t real.

You closed the drawer and found your phone buried under your towel on the bed, checking to see if maybe Joel messaged you back. Nothing. There was nothing. A sigh of frustration left your lips and you walked out of Joel’s room, looking for Tommy downstairs. He was in the kitchen getting the drinks and snacks out. “There you are! I made ya a grilled cheese but it got cold, thought ya fell asleep up there girl, been almost two hours.” Tommy’s eyes met yours and he noticed you weren’t your normal self. He gave an apologetic smile and rubbed your back softly, “Cmon, we’ve got about fifteen minutes ‘fore he gets here. Help me with the cake?” You gave Tommy a small smile and nodded, reaching to open the box the cake was in. You both were careful not to bump the box on it and set it on the table for everyone to see. His house filled up rather quickly with people while you were upstairs for those couple hours, which to you felt like minutes.

“Everyone get down, he’s here!” someone shouted from the living room and suddenly the lights went out, leaving you standing in pure darkness. Tommy tugged your arm and you snapped out of the transe you were in, crouching down in front of the kitchen table. The front door swung open and there he was, your man. The broad shoulders on the silhouette made your breath hitch and your knees weak. Immediately the lights went on and everyone popped out shouting happy birthday. Joel’s face lit up with a smile and the little confetti poppers went off, small rainbow bits of paper cascading down to the floor in front of him. He was met with many hugs as everyone crowded him, leaving you by the table by yourself. You couldn’t bring yourself to go up there to him, not in front of all these people. Small conversations were forming as Joel was finally making his way out of the clump of bodies, his beautiful brown eyes locking with yours.

“H-happy birthday.” you stated quieter than you wanted. His arm dropped to his side as his smile slowly faded, walking over to you. “What’re you doin’ here?” Joel asked harshly. Was that all he had to say? A lump grew in your throat and your mouth went dry. “Tommy um, Tommy invited me.” Great, now you were stuttering and tripping over your words. Joel was now toe to toe with you, his expression not changing. “Oh” he muttered sarcastically and nodded. Tears stung your eyes at his cold tone and you knew you couldn’t deal with this all night. “Listen, I’ll go if you want me to, just tell me…but if I walk out that door Joel, we’re done. I can’t do this anymore and by the looks of it, you don’t want to do it either. You’ve practically hidden every single memory of me or gotten rid of it and for what?” your eyes were overfilled with tears as they threatened to spill from the outer corners and Joel's head snapped away, his jaw clenching at the silence you shared.

“Yeah, I want you to leave. We’re done.” He didn’t even have the fucking decency to look at you when he said it, when he plunged the knife into your heart. There was nothing more you could say to him to see how hurt you were, how much you wanted him to beg you to stay. You wanted him to tell you why he’d been acting this way for months and why he felt so comfortable acting like you meant nothing to him after three years. You pushed passed him and ran up the stairs to gather your bag. He didn’t deserve you, and that was so clear now. He didn’t deserve all the late nights you stayed up with him and assured him Sarah wouldn’t find out about you two. How many vacations you took him on just to get him out of Texas. He didn’t deserve all the brand new things you introduced him to. Most importantly, he didn’t deserve the amount of patience you had with him. He was as stubborn as a fucking mule, but not once did you ever think about giving up on him like he was doing to you right now.

Mascara was running down your face as you practically sprinted to your car, your bag flailing behind you. You dropped your car keys trying to unlock your trunk and you lost it. You leaned against the trunk with your hands covering your face, sobbing your heart out. You gave him everything, you gave him all of you. “Wait, don’t go..” Joel shouted out of breath as he ran down the sidewalk. You looked up at him through blurry eyes, that burning anger igniting in your stomach once more. “No, fuck you! I’m leaving. I told you if you let me walk out that door we were done and what did you do? YOU LET ME LEAVE!” your voice echoed between the houses but you didn’t care anymore. “You’re nothing but a selfish asshole, Joel. I should’ve known better than to think you wouldn’t break my heart. Fuck you, just go.”

His arms engulfed you and you beat your fists on his chest, crying harder than you were before. Joel’s grip on you tightened as he pulled you in close, shushing you quietly. “Stop, just stop. Shhh” he whispered and petted the back of your head softly. “I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry, sweet pea. I think I just got so busy with work and you with getting adjusted in your new place, we were like ships passing in the night.” Joel’s hands cupped your face, his thumb swiping away your tears. “You don’t just give up and act like I don’t exist Joel! Why would you do that to me?!” you demanded and looked at him through tear clumped lashes. “I thought it was easier for you! Jus’ let me prove to you I can be a better man to you, darlin. Please, I need you. I’ve been so lonely without you.” Joel’s tone softened as his voice cracked, a tear falling down his face.

“This is what I’ve been wanting to hear for months. I need some space. I can’t keep doing this shit, Joel. Happy birthday.” You placed a photo of you and him in his hand that you swiped from the drawer earlier. A croak of your name left his lips before you walked away and climbed into your car. You looked at him one last time in the rearview mirror as he stood there staring at everything he just fucked up. He needed to sit with what he’d done, and you had a lot to think about on your drive back home.

[strawberryamanita]

Okay, so... hoo boy.

I try to acknowledge every time I make a political post that I cannot tell anyone what to do. I'm one irrelevant person, I'm not a political spearhead nor do I want to be one, I haven't been able to sway anyone about anything, yadda yadda blah blah blah. If this post gets completely overlooked, so be it. If I get verbally trampled-on by people who don't agree with me, so be it.

But while everyone else is causing a flood of coins on the floor, I'll throw my own 2 cents in.

I think what would be helpful right now -- just in this moment, for the short-term -- is getting through these feelings of worry and despair and panic that I see many posts on my feed announcing. The facts are in front of us: there was an assassination attempt, it failed, and that's worrying because it's gonna embolden the Right even further than they've already been lately. That's completely reasonable to be upset about, it's not irrational to see the danger this will put us in on the streets on the days leading up to the election.

At the same time, there ARE, believe it or not, some positive facts that are having an impact on your life right now. Trump had to go the hospital. He could possibly have a heart-attack. He could possibly go septic. He could possibly be assigned a medical professional that is brave enough to kill him. There was a person brave enough earlier today to show him and his following that enough people in the world hate him to want him dead. Social media being flooded with cheers that he was injured and laments that it didn't kill him is further proof to said willfully ignorant following that they are in the minority. Even if more US voters are enthusiastic about Trump as I type this, most of the world wants him obliterated, and that should be something to hang onto. So much of this is about ego and confidence of the Right. It's not in our best interest to let them think they have a leg up on us.

And the biggest piece of good news is, the US presidential election didn't happen yet! That wasn't the last stand right there, that wasn't the ballot count or the televised verdict. "Surviving" a non-lethal shot that didn't hit any important organs or arteries doesn't mean you automatically win an election. That didn't push an Eject button on Biden's seat to launch him out of the White House or anything like that.

Trump is not invincible. He is not immortal. He is not unkillable. And just because his cult of followers want to canonize him (though they wanted to do that before he was even elected the first time), that doesn't mean WE are obligated to throw in the towel and hang our heads and lick their heels. If it's cathartic or it's helping you de-stress, then by all means cry all you need to -- but we unfortunately can't afford to let this sink us into a collective depression.

He didn't win an election that hasn't happened yet. I promise you this. Look on ecosia.org if you need proof of who is in-office, since they don't use AI(currently).

And no, none of this is to downplay anything. I'm not living in a lie. I promise you, I've been making myself physically ill from the horrors of the world I've been exposed to, day after day, non-stop, on this fucking website. If exposing myself to the bottomless abyss of human evil actually desensitized me and helped me be less fearful, it would've worked by now, but all it does is exhaust me.

It honestly oftentimes makes me actively suicidal -- and I know for a fact I'm not the only one, especially after today, or when Trump was granted legal immunity, or any of these other awful past days. But if I killed myself before I did everything I could to keep this sinking ship of a country afloat just a little longer, that wouldn't be responsible of me.

So, if you're still reading, and not already typing out some response accusing me of things I already tried to tell you I'm not doing before you even finish reading...

Now is the time to practice being brave.

Look at the facts. Don't let yourself spiral from doomscrolling. Cry when you need to, and then keep going. Vote in every local election you can, attend protests and rallies, spread information from trustworthy sources to every social media handle you have -- and for God's sake, find something to keep you hopeful. Escapism is a survival tool: as long as you aren't using it to avoid reality, it doesn't have to be eliminated from your life. You will feel stronger if you let yourself recharge with moments of happiness, I guarantee this.

If you're too suicidal to keep going for yourself, keep going for someone else. It can be someone in your immediate life, it can be a stranger suffering overseas, it can be a child who hasn't been born yet that will see a future built on top of our present. Whatever it takes to keep you from giving up, put it to the front of your mind. Link arms with your Leftist siblings, and then make a habit of it. We cannot keep collapsing from the inside from the smallest of inconveniences, it helps literally none of us.

It's not over until they ring that bell. We have 3 and a half months, don't lose speed now.

I believe in you.

[tommybowefuneralattendee]

79 for shaymien tyvm - katie (the last one was also me you get it)

79. “i like being close to you. you’re warm.”

linked on ao3 || read under the cut || 4k, rated m

summary:

"Would it be okay if we just sat here?" Shayne asks quietly, the exhale of his speech warm on Damien's shirt. Damien scratches over Shayne's scalp and it's like his best friend turns to liquid in his lap. Damien grins. "We can sit here as long as you want." || Or, Shayne's tired after a workout and it leads to a conversation that's been a long time coming.

It's not like they ever plan on doing stuff like this. This happens every time they're both single, every time neither of them have seen their families in a while, every time one of them needs and the other can provide. Damien unlocks the door of Shayne's apartment without a bit of pause. Shayne is at the gym at this time most days, so Damien isn't exactly surprised to find the flat empty. He smiles at the two stacks of video games already set up on the coffee table, the groups divided by whether the game is multiplayer or single player, all ten of them games they both enjoy. His boy knows him too well. They hadn't even discussed hanging out today. 

He's been combing through the snacks in the kitchen for about five minutes when he hears the door being unlocked once again, cracking a smile as he closes the cabinet he was rifling through. 

"Hey man, let me get a quick shower and we can game?" Shayne calls from the living room. Damien makes an affirmative sound and begins transferring the snacks he had collected to the coffee table, barely aware of the sound of the bathroom door shutting behind his friend. Despite the fact that Shayne still shops like he and Damien live together, most of what Damien's grabbed are Shayne's favorites- the guy's always starving after working out, and if Damien gets him snacks now, he won't have to hear about it. Not that he even really minds when Shayne does complain. 

That was honestly the first thing that made Damien think that maybe his relationship with Shayne was different from all of his other relationships, that maybe this is what people are talking about when they say they have a best friend. It's not that he doesn't know who he would be if he didn't have Shayne. It's that he doesn't know that he became himself til loving Shayne shaped who he is. Who would he be without Shayne's hand over the gearshift, laughter ringing in their ears nearly an hour after the joke had been told, Shayne's smiling face colored pretty by the pink of the setting sun? 

He grabs Shayne a bottle of water. He heaves out a breath. He sits on the couch. 

He doesn't know how much time he's lost writing a sketch in his head before Shayne walks out of the bathroom, steam rolling out after him like some early aughts Old Spice commercial. Damien can't help but grin at him; Shayne throws the towel he'd been rubbing through his hair at Damien's head. Damien catches it, throwing it back faster than Shayne is apparently prepared for, as it strikes him directly in the chest rather than being caught in his hands. Despite being the one to throw it first, Shayne seems a little out of sorts. He's got that look to him that he gets after live streams sometimes, the one that's half tired and half overwhelmed, though the look is mellowed some by the comfort of being in his own home. Still, Damien leans back against the side of the couch and pulls his legs up as well. He's not even entirely settled, arms wide to hold his best friend and knees apart to accommodate him, before Shayne is diving into his lap, arms wrapped around Damien's waist, face rubbing into the other man's chest affectionately. Like a fucking cat.

A chuckle punches its way out of Damien's chest at the sight. "You alright there, bud?" he asks, settling back into the arm of the couch and running his hand over Shayne's hair. Shayne hums.

"I like being close to you. You’re warm," he says simply, as if that's all there is to it, like being with Damien is the easiest thing in the world. Damien knows it isn't. The way that Shayne has always disagreed with him on that still makes him feel warm after this many years together. No matter how much time he spends with his best friend, he doesn't know that it will ever feel like enough. Sometimes the sheer luck of meeting Shayne, of being on the same set as him at the same time, it hits Damien in the chest. On a universal level, he was so close to never having this. He holds onto Shayne a little tighter just because he can. Shayne hums again, pressing in and nuzzling his face into Damien's chest.

"You wanna play something or you just wanna sit here, baby boy?" Damien asks, his tone making it clear that he doesn't mind either way, even if the words aren't so clear. Shayne makes a noise of protest and starts pushing himself up, but Damien keeps him settled in the cradle of his hips with a gentle hand; it's obvious from his face and posture that Shayne is only trying to remove himself because that's what he thinks he's supposed to want to do. Damien runs his fingers through Shayne's hair, making the other man relax against him nearly instantaneously.

"Would it be okay if we just sat here?" Shayne asks quietly, the exhale of his speech warm on Damien's shirt. Damien scratches over Shayne's scalp and it's like his best friend turns to liquid in his lap. Damien grins.

"We can sit here as long as you want," he says, sliding down a little bit more so that Shayne's face is against his throat and they're settled chest to chest. He pulls the blanket off of the back of the couch, spreading it over Shayne's back.

"Thank you," Shayne murmurs. His mouth is right against Damien's throat, his breath warm and the vibration of his speech something Damien didn't know he found comforting. He should know, as many times as they've done this.

"Any time, bud. You know that," Damien reminds him, pressing a kiss to the side of Shayne's head. That's not new either, a long time habit from when they were so much younger and so much more scared, broke as fuck all the time and never knowing what the fuck to do about it. Shayne tilts his head up to brush a kiss against Damien's jaw, settling back down quickly. If Damien didn't know to look for it, he might miss the proliferation of rose spreading across Shayne's ears. But he does know to look for it. And seeing it always warms him from the inside out. The idea that he can still make Shayne blush is one he'll always be grateful for, and maybe a little winded that he can. He loves this boy so much.

They don't talk for the next little while; Damien couldn't even hazard a guess of how long, his phone left abandoned on the coffee table and his watch missing entirely. He doesn't always put on everything when he's just coming over to Shayne's, leaving off accessories at random just because Shayne is one of the only people in the world that Damien doesn't feel like he has to present himself well around. Sure, he gives some of his best to Shayne, but Shayne has also been the person to handle a lot of his worst, to hold him after breakups and reassure him when he's scared and all of the bullshit that comes with being just a little bit too codependent with your best friend. Damien brushes another kiss on the crown of Shayne's head just for thinking of it. Boredom doesn't pick at him in this quiet place with Shayne as it typically would. The weight against his chest, the warmth of another body, Shayne, it's all very calming.

"I love you, you know," Shayne says quietly, virtually apropos of nothing. Damien hums, rubbing his hand up and down Shayne's back.

"I know, baby boy. I love you too," he replies, natural and easy. Shayne lays a kiss down on Damien's shoulder.

"I mean it," he stresses. Damien raises an eyebrow even if Shayne can't see it, his hand moving from Shayne's back to the back of his head, gentle as he pulls Shayne up to look at him, pushing back to sit up a little himself. Shayne reluctantly moves to support himself so that he can make eye contact. Seeing the question in his gaze, Shayne sighs. "You're my person," he whispers, looking at Damien with so much emotion that Damien has no idea how to pick through it. Instead of trying, he cups Shayne's jaw.

"You're my person, too, Shayne. No one I trust more than you," he assures. It doesn't seem as if this was the response Shayne was looking for, his head listing into Damien's palm and his lips pursed. Damien raises his eyebrow again, asking Shayne to elaborate without asking aloud. Shayne kisses his palm before resettling into his grasp.

"You're my best friend and it still never feels like enough," he says quietly, no longer making eye contact with Damien. A hard feeling settles in Damien's chest, the easy happiness of a moment ago draining from him. Not enough is something that Damien has heard before. It's never been a good thing.

"Did I do something?" he asks, unable to keep the shake out of his voice. Shayne's eyes snap to his and then go soft; immediately, he gets his knees more steadily beneath himself so that he can reach up and cup the back of Damien's head, careful fingers tangled in his hair. Unable to make himself think any better of it, Damien catches his hands on the backs of Shayne's thighs and pulls, shifting Shayne to have his knees spread across Damien's lap. Immediately, there's relief in every place they touch. Reassurance. Peace. Shayne is smiling at him. He looks fucking beautiful.

"Move back in with me." Shayne drops this suddenly, his gaze still soft where Damien can practically feel it against his skin, and it sends Damien blinking in surprise. Of all of the things he might have thought Shayne would say, that wasn't one of them.

"Beg pardon?" he asks. Shayne's smile falls.

"It's- it's just an idea," Shayne says, looking away from Damien and looking like he wants to disappear in his own apartment and Damien can't have that.

"Shayne, you live in a one bedroom apartment," he says gently, putting it ahead of any of the other protests knocking in the back of his mind, addressing the most practical first. Shayne tries again to push himself up and out of Damien's lap, but he's still doing that thing he does. Sometimes, typically when he's showing any emotion at all instead of handling the emotions of most everyone around him, Shayne tries to recede back into himself. He'll pull in all of his tells and shut Damien out and it's so fucking frustrating, not because Damien doesn't want to do the work of loving his best friend, but because Shayne thinks he has to. Because Shayne thinks this is what everyone else wants from him. For him to be easy. Damien has only ever wanted Shayne. Not so interested in easy. He keeps his hands on Shayne's thighs and Shayne isn't trying particularly hard, so in Damien's lap he stays.

"I miss you," Shayne mumbles nonsensically. After a moment, though, it makes a lot of sense to Damien, honestly. He misses those early mornings with Shayne, the nights when Shayne would climb into bed with him just because they were still talking, the reassurance of knowing that no matter what kind of day he had, he'd be coming home to Shayne fucking Topp. Damien lifts one of his hands and holds it to Shayne's chest, fingers brushing his collarbones through his shirt. Shayne looks at him with far too much melancholy for a face like that.

"How about when both of our leases are up? Mark can find a new roommate, you and me can find a two bedroom, we'll live together again, yeah?" he suggests, surprised then when Shayne's expression twists before he catches himself, smoothing it out into a smile. "No, no, I saw that. What's up, Shayne?" he asks, patient and even. Shayne closes his eyes.

"It's stupid," he says. Damien hums, encouraging him to elaborate. Shayne sighs. "I don't want a two bedroom apartment." When he opens his eyes, Damien tilts his head at him, confused.

"Come on, man, you know I don't really get the whole beating around the bush thing. We've gotten as far as you want to live together again, but I don't know what that part means. Tell me what the problem is." He moves the hand on Shayne's chest over to his side, thumb stroking over his oblique. With a deep breath, Shayne seems to steel himself.

"I haven't been sleeping well lately," he says, the words falling out of his mouth like they're the beginning of something, but Shayne pauses once they've hit the air. Damien nods, silently imploring him to continue. "Best sleep I've had in months was when we were sharing that hotel room in Vegas." His voice is thin, and it only takes Damien a second to figure out why. Their room had been scheduled incorrectly in Vegas. Technically, anybody in their party could have shared the room with one bed and let them have one of the rooms with two, but it was the room Damien and Shayne had been given and they hadn't made any sort of fuss about it. He'd woken up with Shayne beautifully sleepsoft, tucked comfortably into his chest all three days they were in that hotel.

"You want to move in together, and you want to share a bed," Damien says; Shayne's face colors a deep red, but he nods in confirmation. A smile creeps its way onto Damien's face. "I guess we're about to have a lot of sleepovers til my lease is up, yeah?" he asks, watching with delight as Shayne's expression goes from that melancholic fear to overwhelmingly pleased. Impulse control completely with the fucking wind, Damien leans up and kisses his best friend on the mouth. Like that's a good idea. He doesn't even realize that Shayne is kinda kissing him back before he reels backwards, putting space between their faces even if they're still touching more than they're not. Shayne makes a soft noise, quiet protest clear as he tugs Damien back into another kiss, harder but no less full of care. He's delicate with the way he holds Damien's face in both hands, his movements deliberate as he tries to tell Damien through touch alone that he wants this too. That this is all he wants.

"Dames," Shayne breathes out against his mouth. Damien leans up to catch him in another kiss. For this being the first time they've done this, it's the easiest this has ever been for Damien, the most comfortable, the only first kisses he's ever had that didn't feel like a hostage negotiation he was having with his brain to wrest enjoyment from the clutches of discomfort. Of course he's comfortable. It's Shayne. There's not a more comfortable place in the world for Damien's hands than on Shayne's skin, no more comfortable weight in his lap than Shayne's warm body. Damien pulls back again and this time Shayne lets him, makes no move to stop him from burying his face in Shayne's shoulder, breathing out his overwhelm as best as he can. His heart is fucking pounding. Still, he can't help grinning when he lifts his head to look at Shayne. It's Shayne. Loving him is the easiest thing he's ever done.

"Are we doing this?" he asks, smile coloring his words with fondness more overtly than he's ever allowed himself to display. Shayne's grin is confident, but when he speaks, his voice is quiet.

"Please," he says, broad hands warm on Damien's face, and this is it. It is different. His relationship with Shayne is different because he fucking loves him, not just the barrage of platonic affection that has bowled him over for nearly half his life, he loves Shayne like cracking his chest open and letting the other man stick his hand in. In that moment, it needs to be said again.

"I love you," he says, turning his head to press a kiss against one of Shayne's palms. At that, Shayne climbs out of his lap. Not expecting the movement, Damien makes no protest, instead raising an eyebrow at Shayne once he's on his own two feet.

"I'm in love with you. I also want to be in bed with you," Shayne says, pulling him up by the hand. Knowing it's not what he means, Damien leers suggestively anyway.

"Very forward, baby boy. Here I thought you were gonna treat me like a gentleman," he teases. Shayne huffs out a laugh and looks down at his socked feet, smiling at the floor.

"Not what I meant, you asshole. I mean- we can do that at whatever pace, like, works for us? But I want-" Shayne cuts himself off, that deep red taking over his face once again, trailing down his neck. Damien knows exactly how far that blush goes, but that doesn't mean he's not thinking about it still. He wants to taste the heat on Shayne's skin. He wants to hold Shayne so he'll sleep well. He leans further into Shayne's space, not quite close enough to kiss but close enough it definitely wouldn't be hard.

"What do you want, Shayne?" he asks, the rasp of his voice sending a visual shiver down Shayne's spine. He leans his forehead against Damien's shoulder.

"I want you to hold me," he whispers, less like he's afraid to say it and more like he's afraid to break this moment. Damien nods, grabbing Shayne by the hand.

"I can do that."

He leads Shayne by the hand to his own bedroom, strips him of his shirt gently, and then of his sweats, even getting Shayne to pick up his feet so that Damien can take of his socks for him, and suddenly he realizes that none of this is new so far. Well, the kissing, that's new. But holding Shayne's hand? Leading him to his own room? Undressing him? He remembers late nights in their shared space, Shayne's tired eyes strained from practice script after practice script, his energy scraped thin. Damien would take his hand then, get him comfortable, tuck him in. Stay if Shayne grabbed for him, which he almost always did. Damien never minded. Divesting himself of his own clothing, Damien has to ignore the way that Shayne's eyes roam over his chest, his stomach, his boxers. He never thought when they were younger that Shayne would ever look at him like this. Looking retrospectively at all of this, he can't imagine he would have done anything differently if he knew then what he knows now. Who knows how long he and Shayne would have lasted if they'd jumped into this young and unsettled? He wouldn't do it any other way.

The chief sound of the two of them getting settled into bed together is laughter; they've never been able to share a bed without getting into some kind of wrestling match. Staring down at Shayne's pretty face with his best friend on his back underneath him, it strikes Damien that perhaps that wasn't always as platonic as it had felt. He leans down to kiss Shayne again, but they end up having to pull away given that they're both still laughing. His heart feels fit to fucking burst. Just looking at Shayne makes something catch in Damien's chest. Fuck, he loves him. Fuck. Shayne pulls Damien down on top of himself, knocking the breath out of Damien in the form of a surprised bark of a laugh. Grinning against his temple, Shayne runs his hands along Damien's back with eager hands, digging in his fingers in a way that feels good, and Damien groans.

"God, magic hands," he mumbles into Shayne's collarbone. The rumble of Shayne's laugh beneath him is probably one of the best things in the world. Right after Shayne's fucking magic hands, his wide fingertips digging into the knots in Damien's back, slight ache of it smoothed out by his broad palms. He's always liked Shayne's hands though. The feel of them, the weight of them, the look of them, the blunts of his nails, the scar between two of his fingers he got breaking a glass when he was thirteen. There's so much story in those hands. So much story in this boy. He kisses his way along Shayne's collarbone, not with any heat really, but just to move his lips across Shayne's skin. One of Shayne's hands moves up from Damien's back, clutching at but not pulling Damien's hair as he guides him up to look at him.

"I love you," he says again, voice laced with awe like he's lucky just to be able to say it, to be able to love Damien aloud. He gets halfway up on his knees between Shayne's thighs, making them fall a little wider to accommodate him. With the way Shayne is looking up at him, he doesn't think he minds.

"I love you so much." With that, Damien dips down and connects their lips. Shayne is pliable under him, soft skin and hard muscle both giving way to being manipulated by Damien's whims. His hands are hungry as he grabs at Shayne, nails skating across the other man's skin. He doesn't know what it would be like to love Shayne without a certain degree of violence. His love for him has never gone quietly, never been something that Damien could pack away into boxes like everything else, reduce the clutter of his mind and move on with his life. Instead, he built the whole world around him, the chaotic life of a performer in Los Angeles moored by the touchstone that is Shayne Topp. Things, in a lot of ways, make a lot more sense with Shayne's tongue in his mouth. Like, at least now he knows why he never really liked any of Shayne's exes. Just thinking of it makes Damien pull away from Shayne's mouth, laughing into his best friend's shoulder. Is that still what he calls Shayne? They should probably talk about that.

"You gonna share with the class?" Shayne asks, teasing in his tone as he nuzzles his face into Damien's hair. Damien kisses the junction of Shayne's throat and shoulder.

"I guess this kinda clears up why I never liked any of your exes," he says wryly, delighting in the bark of Shayne's laughter that immediately follows.

"I mean, yeah." He could have said anything, really, for as much as Damien is paying any mind to it- Shayne has freckles on his shoulders that Damien has always wanted to count, maybe in the back of his mind somewhere always wanted to kiss, and the opportunity begets compulsion. 

He traces feather-light kisses from one to the next, counting in his head with his mouth otherwise occupied. When he gets down Shayne's chest someways, he gets a giggle out of Shayne kissing one a few inches below where his armpit hair stops. When he gets to one not far from Shayne's nipple, the touch of his lips brings a gasp out of him. Another compulsion begotten by opportunity, Damien touches his mouth next to that nipple, already pebbled beneath the contact. Not wanting to take things too quickly, he abandons the journey down the route of Shayne's freckles, instead pressing kisses on his way up til he meets again with Shayne's mouth. He just brushes him with a kiss then, rolling off of Shayne and onto his back. Shayne tilts his head in question.

"How do you want to be held?" Damien asks, reminding Shayne of why they had moved to the bedroom in the first place. Half hard in his boxers, Shayne takes the pivot with admirable grace, still grinning as he pushes his way against Damien's chest.

"Like this," he says, tangling their legs together and nudging Damien until he puts his arms around Shayne's shoulders. His grip on Damien's waist is nothing to joke about either, his hands splayed possessively across Damien's lower back. Damien presses a kiss to the side of his head.

"I can do that."

[cxr0lo1]

the animal is trapped. II

warning: slight mention of homophobia, smut?(not really,just words)

It’s been now exactly 5 days since I came here,it hasn’t been so bad apart from carol glaring at me for every little thing that I do, talking to Alex and piper? Glaring. Reading? Glaring. walking? Also glaring I don’t know what her deal was.

I made my way into the library since i never looked around it when i first came here. hearing a few movements behind the shelves but i didnt think too much into it since there are a lot of girls here who love to sneak around and touch each other anywhere they find " private". i grab a random book from the shelve suddenly seeing carol sitting behind the shelve with a magazine in her hand and a jawbreaker in her mouth like always,the wall behind her had a few burt reynolds posters but ive also seen frieda with her. ive noticed these few days that they’re probably close

carol's eyes suddenly shot up to look at my face that was in between the books. her eyes narrowed as i quickly turned away and huffed while shaking my head. jesus shes actually scary i dont blame people for being afraid of her, whenever she'd look at me so coldly or glare at me with her top lip curled i feel as if my heart dropped to my panties also,whenever she'd growl when shes pissed or just mad.

this is what was running through my mind as i walked around the library until i felt a hand wrap around my throat with my back slamming against the shelve causing a few books to fall with a small wince escaping my mouth. the second i looked up my eyes were met with carol's ,her face was red and she looked pretty annoyed " have you been fucking avoiding me? huh cookie?" she spat out as she tightened her grip a little. my brows furrowed as i grip her wrist a little "n-no im just trying…trying to do my time here in peace." i stuttered due to both the lack of air and since i was honestly a bit nervous and slightly scared. i heard her scoff as she looked at me with a sneer "thats 25 years. dont fuck with me navia." my neck arched a bit as i could feel her warm breath against my face before i said " god just leave me alone i did nothing to you." i said in a slightly shaky tone as her brows raised with frieda chuckling behind her " growing some balls now arent ya?" she said before squeezing my throat a little

" dont be such a snobby little bitch." she growled before letting go of my neck as she turned and left with frieda following her

i huff as i put my hand over my throat rubbing it slightly,god she definitely left at least a bruise on my throat from how strong her grip was. normally if this ever happened to me i'd cover it with some concealer but now that im in prison i obviously cant so everyone is gonna see it. i groan softly as i made my way to the bathroom after throwing the book aside. carol was right tho, i was avoiding her as much as i can after seeing how problematic but also peaceful at the same she was justing fucking confusing i cant even tell if shes a complete psycho or just mood swings , i would be away from the cell most the time and also away from the table she plays bridge at i would only be in the cell with her whenever i wanted to go to bed. i was just trying to avoid problems as much as i can so i dont get more years added to my sentance after all im probably gonna get released by the time i turn 44/46.

i stayed in the bathroom for the past 15 minutes holding a towel that i ran under some cold water against my neck, i dont know why i thought it would make the bruise disappear but it did fade the slightest bit, i let out a small sigh before walking out as i went back to the block again since it was lunch time, the second i grabbed my trey i went over to sit with alex and piper since theyre the only sane ones here besides you can say were friends now. i sigh as i take a bite of my food noticing both of them staring at my throat which made ne raise a brow,before i could say anything alex suddenly cut me off with "what the hell happened to you..whats that on yout neck?" i press my lips togather before shrugging "its nothing serious" i said with a chuckle but piper raised her brow and crossed her arm " carol?" i sigh as i groan before giving up and nodding as i roll my eyes before spitting out "you guys already know that its carol,why'd you even ask when its clear?" i said a bit frusrated as i grab my fork and start eating until piper said " jesus what did you even do? you told us that youre avoiding her." i raise my brows as i put my hands up "exactly. she noticed and probably not happy about it thats why she uh..choked me?" i shrug before looking up at them both "but hey im still alive. the bruise will eventually disappear" i said as they just looked at each other and just kept eating silently since i was gonna probably snap if they ask more, honestly the more i stayed here the worse my anger issues get

********* 3 hours later **********

i was sat on the top bunk finally since there was no point of avoiding carol anymore, she'd still bother me even if i tried to i just didnt bother to try again. i had a random magazine in my hand as my upper lip curled a bit everytime i saw a extremly hairy man pop up on the magazine or any man in general since im a lesbian, its not big news almost every girl here is. except for carol i think like come on she has all that power and control but she never thought of going down on a girl? maybe shes just straight. my thoughts got interrupted when i heard carol's footsteps coming to the cell, i didnt look up from the magazine instead i just kept flipping through the pages until i heard carol say "burt reynolds is the only one worth wasting time for" she said when she saw me looking at the women in the magazine. i look at her with a slightly disgusted expression before saying "ick..hes not worth looking at" she raised a brow as she leaned on the wall " what are you a fucking dyke? who dosent like burt reynolds?." i put the magazine aside before leaning down with my arm crossed " what are you a fucking homophobic? burt reynolds is stupid,you have bad taste." she growled before grabbing my chin as our noses were almost touching "watch your fucking language when you talk to me." she scoffed before letting go of my chin and threw a ice pack next to me "here..put this on the bruise it'll help i think. and again, you better fucking watch your mouth" she said before she laid on her bunk and grabbed a magazine from under her pillow. i stared at the ice pack thinking this is probably her way of apologizing besides i dont see her as the type to actually apologize so i wasnt surprised. i put the pack against the bruise which made me grut my teeth a bit at how cold it was before i said "thank you by the way." i heard no response from her as i just shrugged it off and grab the magazine again until a random inmate stood by the door and said " uh hey carol..do you still sell horse?" she said as carol just shot her a glare " cant you fucking see that im busy?" she spat out as the girl quickly walked away after apologizing. now that i think about it she probably uses her hidey-hole to sell there and smoke otherwise why would she be there? . i started drifting off to sleep after just constantly thinking about random things in the prison with most of my thoughts running around carol.

before i knew it i woke up with a loud bang on the wall only to see ginger hitting the wall with the baton which caused me to sit up quickly " time to wake up inmate!" she yelled as i groan and rub my eyes, not finding carol in the cell she was probably in her hidey-hole in the library or playing bridge.

i got off the bunk before grabbing a towel as i walked to the bathroom,stripping off my clothes as i got into the shower, i let out a sigh of relief when the warm water hit my skin, i huff when i realized that i left my conditioner in the cell "hey uh can i use some of your conditioner?" i asked the girl in the next shower without looking at her since ive seen enough naked women these past few days ive spent in here

" alright but its gonna cost ya ,use a little i dont want it empty when i take it back." she said but i couldnt really hear her from how loud the water was until the conditioner bottle was thrown at my body and hit my collarbone. i groaned before using a little "thanks" was all i said before rinsing

after 17 minutes i stepped out the shower with a towel that barely covered anything. i was drying my hair with the towel as the girl who gave me the bottle walked out. "carol?" i said as i parted my lips a bit as she took the bottle with a smirk "you're welcome." she said sarcastically before walking past me while adjusting the towel on her body. honestly this was my first time seeing her without her glasses and the halfpart hair, i would be lying if i said she didnt look good. i thought while brushing my hair until i heard a voice next to me say " y'know for a skinny girl you got some nice tits" she said with a chuckle my eyes widened a bit as i look at carol quickly "uh..thank you?" i said with my face turning a bit red when i noticed her eyes on my cleavage. i clear my throat while brushing my hair until i felt a hand spin me around with my back hitting the wall,the brush fell out of my hand as my breath hitched when carol leaned closer. her hands pinning my wrists next to my head as my chest heaving up and down the second her lips brushing over my ear "dont forget that you owe me." she whispered as she looked at how flushed my face is, seeing her sneer as she nibbled on my lips " look at your face..so red because of this?" she spat out while looking into my eyes as i parted my lips a little i was speechless with my heart beating rapidly almost like its gonna jump out of my chest "i want you to work for me..want you to help me sell drugs." she said with her lips brushing over mine as my lips twitched a bit, i had to take a few seconds to process what was happening as she suddenly grabbed my chin and her lip curled a bit. clearly she was losing patience as she narrowed her eyes and said " did you not fucking hear me?" she growled as i nodded my head quickly " fine..i-i'll help you sell." i stutter a bit which made me feel a bit embaressed " good girl..you'll find me in the library" she said sarcastically before letting go of me and walking out the bathroom

i was walking to the library with my head running through what happened in the bathroom earlier.her lips were literally on mine and i was smelling her coconut scented shampoo..i shook the thoughts off my head before walking into the library,going behind the shelve where her hidey-hole was as the second i walked there i saw carol punching and kicking the shelve before she growled out a scream " fucking d cunt bitches! we gotta teach them a fucking lesson frieda!" my eyes widened a bit as i look at them with confusion written all over my face "what's going on?" i said as carol looked at me as she spat out between grutted teeth " the stash is gone!" .

sorry it took me so long to update. but i promise the next chapter is gonna longer and more intresting!

[minotaur-asterion]

The voices, and when they get down with the sickness (long post underneath, please prepare yourself):

I think Hero kind of wishes they could act out that classic sickfic scene where they get to stay in bed all day and someone brings them soup and takes good care of them. Well, it’ll never happen with that nervous attitude, so until they get the balls to ask someone they’ll have to suck it up and take care of themselves. So, so tired the entire time. Poor meow meow

Alternatively, Hero’s a doting caretaker, if not physically distant. Doesn’t want to catch anything… but rest assured, they’re at their charge’s beck and call- they’ll bring food, medicine, heating pads, blankets, the crown of Russia, Russia, and more!

Cold can’t tell until something really noticeable happens, and even then it can be a while before he figures out he’s sick. Oh, his nose is running? It has been getting cold recently, no pun intended. He collapsed? Has to determine whether it was lack of sleep or if he got stabbed recently and that was blood loss; illness just doesn’t immediately come to mind. Might get a little loopy and out of it while recovering. Appreciates the lack of taste if forced to eat

Cold’s really good at treating sick folks, but taking care of them can be 50/50 depending on who it is. If he actually gives a shit he mostly curls up in a chair nearby and chills- again, pun not intended- until they need something. He might even offer the briefest of cuddles, which depending on his charge’s strength might end up lasting a lot longer than he planned

Cheated gets sick a lot- he doesn’t get much sleep so his body doesn’t have a lot of energy to fight it off. It’s total chaos if he gets a fever. Complains soooo much. But he gets very warmly happy if someone throws in the towel to take care of him. Wants to snuggle a lot

He refuses to take care of most of the others. Fuck them! But he’s probably going to get roped into it one way or another, knowing his luck. The only people he’d actually agree to care for is Opportunist and Contrarian since they live together. I’ve always imagined those three as a package deal anyway

Speaking of Opportunist- ey’re used to a little bit of body ache, so ey’re able to power through the less severe colds and such, just take it a little easier than usual, wear a mask to work, you know. It gets trickier when severe sickness aligns with a bad back day, ey don’t enjoy feeling like that while barely being able to move around. Ey’re honored if anyone decides to help, honestly…

Opportunist is a believer in laughter being the best medicine. He likes to talk and talk about all sorts of things just to take his charge’s mind off their symptoms. He also likes to hear himself talk, so it’s a bonus, really!

Contrarian… surprisingly barely ever gets sick. Or, at least, they don’t let on most of the times they do. Maybe they get a little quieter, but it’s surprisingly easy to melt into the crowd for them. It’s probably easier to not expect or ask for anything anyway

But on the contrary, pun intended this time, Contrarian loves to help out and take care of sick folks. God knows he’s not helpful at all with treating the sickness- which makes me think he’d be a good duo with Cold- but he’ll certainly entertain and keep company. “Oh, but you’ll catch something-“ he definitely will, but it’s worth it!

Paranoid is fascinated by disease. Would probably get sick and immediately think “how can I turn this into a zombie-making virus?” Jots down every single sniffle in her journal. Studies the microorganisms that caused it. Just really weird and iconically herself about it. The few times she does sleep, her dreams will be even weirder than usual. I think her obsession with recording the darn thing is overriding the symptoms

It’s much the same with when someone else is sick- pencil to paper, on a scale of one to ten how bad do you feel, describe your symptoms, can I get a swab for totally normal not nefarious reasons. Makes sure to wash her hands after existing in the same room as anyone who’s sick

Broken genuinely doesn’t think it’ll make it. Sure, it’s a really light flu, but it just won’t survive. Most illnesses are similar to a bad pain day regardless of how bad they’d normally be, but the good thing about the whole ordeal is snuggles and attention… Even if it’s out like a light most of the time. Might get weird and horny about it

Broken gets really worried about the others when they’re sick, and usually sticks them in bed if he can even move them there. Perches at the foot of the bed and watches closely. A little creepy, but he means well. So so so worried

Hunted’s surprisingly clean, so it’s hard for it to get too sick. Very pragmatic approach to dealing with it, which includes keeping everything clean during times when it feels better and resting when it feels worse. Doesn’t enjoy it for a second, especially when it clogs its ears and nose, but it’ll survive

Goes a little haywire when someone else is sick. You’ve never bore witness to the kind of strength it can muster to get someone in its nest. Protective as all get out, preens and tries to spoon feed. Will only allow people it trusts with its life- and maybe not even that depending on how feral it is- near the nest

Stubborn isn’t one to get sick often, and even then through the sheer power of, I dunno, muscles or something, he can fight it off pretty well. Just lay off the baking for a bit so he doesn’t accidentally infect anyone… In the rarest cases where he just can’t keep going as usual, he becomes surprisingly tame. Too tired to get all worked up. Sleepy little guy…

They can also be surprisingly helpful, especially with calming down a much stronger personality (cough. Hunted) who’s also trying to take care of someone sick. Makes the meanest fucking soup you’ve ever had the pleasure of tasting. And I say this with Broken definitely in mind, but they get a little affectionate about it. Just a smidge. Not because they care about this person, no! Don’t be ridiculous

Smitten probably gets sick all the time from his flower allergies, but he can’t bring himself to stop gardening. That’s why he got allergy medicine. If it’s not allergies he’s stumped on what to do. Might even get dramatic about it- write his will, eat some ice cream while watching his favorite rom com shows (he knows at least that sugar can help calm nausea), read Shakespeare, uh… I don’t know what else he’d do but it’d be dramatic!

Smitten’s a total sweetheart when taking care of someone else. Breakfast in bed, reads to them (dyslexic, does silly voices), treats them like total royalty. The drawback? Literally never takes care of anyone on a whim. Has to be planned, premeditated. Draws up a schedule of the whole thing

Skeptic likes to take sick days slow. Sit in the butterfly garden. Unless it’s winter. Then he’ll just stay in bed the whole day. Probably hibernates through the illness and wakes up crusty but healthy

He’ll certainly try his best to take care of someone else, but he’s not that great at it. Good at reassuring them about their anxieties though. Gives them a little too much medicine

I have a feeling Meek might be immune to disease. Otherwise she’d fucking die. Sneezes so loudly it’s like a bomb went off

She’s also not great about helping someone through their sickness, but she’ll scoot into their lap and offer them to pet her. The others suspect she might even like being pet… she will vehemently deny it though

Flinching is very shaky when she’s sick. Terrible grip strength. She’ll realize something’s off when she accidentally drops her favorite mug and now has to sadly stare at it on the ground before Doubting picks it up and puts it back together (he made a mug that’s easy to repair specifically for this reason)

Very gentle with sick people, almost as though she’s afraid to break them. Wonderful bedside manner. If she wasn’t so squeamish she would’ve tried becoming a nurse, but alas, just a librarian for now…

Doubting’s vision is usually bleary, but eventually he’ll figure out something’s wrong when he puts his glasses on and he still can’t see well. He’s a good patient, though, and recovers quickly with the right conditions

A lot like Flinching, he’s also good about taking care of others. May or may not be developing experimental treatments for diseases though. Do not touch those beakers

Much like a huge disoriented beast, Obsessed doesn’t do well with sickness. It messes with them badly. Not as clean as Hunted about it but definitely not to be trifled with still. Think like a rabid animal, how they can lose their fear of certain things and just… stare

They don’t live near anyone, so there’s nobody to take care of when sick

[smutlord-supreme]

I just saw the cod: reaction to stalker post and I just have to say HOW I LOVE IT SO MUCH AND IT’S SO COMFORTING BECAUSE SAME. 💕😔✊ I don’t know if requests are open, but if it isn’t I just want to say I loved your post. However, if it is I would be really interested in a full length piece. Any characters are good for me because the way you’ve written them is really comforting. 💖

Thank you so much! I'm always looking for excuses to write so of course requests are open! Please excuse the fact that this was typed up at 9pm on a work night so it may not be perfect. (Plus autocorrect is on and we're like mortal enemies). I also chose Gaz because honestly I haven't seen any X Reader fics of Gaz and I find that super sad.

Without further ado.

The Watcher

Gaz x Reader

2.4k words

Warnings: Stalking, implied dating, very (and I mean very) little implied sexual relationship

You get some concerning texts and tell your boyfreund Kyle 'Gaz' Garrick about them.

You were always the cool headed one. Unlike Gaz who tended to be impulsive. So when you sat him down one day for a talk he assumed one of two things, you were breaking up with him, or you were dying.

You sat him down on your sectional, body facing him, but eyes on the ground. His heart was breaking at a thousand beats per minute, mind searching every little thing that had happened over the last few months. The moments you took to compose yourself causing the blood to rush in his ears.

"I have something to show you." You broke the silence, pulling out your phone and opening it to a text conversation. Scrolling all the way to the top you hand him the phone in silence. Allowing him to read.

After those first few messages the texted is silent until an hour ago. Where they send a photo of the outside of your apartment.

When Gaz is done reading he jumps off the couch and runs to the nearest window, peering down at the street corner that the photo was taken from.

"I already looked no one was there." You sounded dejected and exhausted. Almost resigned to the fact someone was peering in your windows at 11am.

"WTF baby, why didn't you tell me when you woke up?" It was a good question, every morning when you woke uo you would make time to read and respond to messages. And that was hours ago.

"I thought it was a prank at first. I used to get messages like this all the time before I met you. I figured it was one of my freinds with new number trying to freak me out." You shrugged your shoulders, letting them hang low. You propped your elbows on your knew and layed your forehead in you Palms. Cradling your skull like it suddenly weighed a hundred pounds.

Gaz sat back down on the couch, throwing one arm around you. Grabbing onto your should opposite to him and rubbing it lightly with his thumb. "Hey, hey, it's ok. I don't think I'd know what to think at first either. I'm not trying to blame you." He scratched his stubble with his free hand, thinking. "Is there any chance it's still one of your freinds?"

You shook your head, still cradled in your hands. " I texted everyone, no one fessed up and none if my freinds would go this far for a practical joke."

He made a hmm noise before standing back up. He grabbed your arm and hauled you off the couch. "Come on let's get you in the shower, I think you need a reset."

Dispite being positive and chipper as normal, anger radiated off of Gaz. He was smiling but his eyes were dark and full of hate. You weren't afraid of him, but you also had a feeling that he didn't want you to say no. And anyways, Gaz normally knew what was best for you.

You trailed after him to your shared bathroom, sitting down on the toilet while he got the water to the perfect temperature. "Get in, I'll throw a towel in the dryer for when you get out." You couldn't lie the steam radiating off of the shower was tempting so you stripped and stepped in while he closed the door and left you to your devices.

Most days Gaz would be begging to join you, but today there was none of that. Adding to your feeling of unease. As you washed your hair you heard the dryer start on the other side of the house. Not long after Gaz was on the phone with someone, speaking softly so you couldn't understand him. Although, in the small flat it was impossible to hide the fact that he was talking.

Soon you stepped out, turning the water off, still standing in the shower for a moment while Gaz said his goodbyes. Puttering across the Flat and grabbing the towel before opening the bathroom door. He wrapped you up, hugging you tightly as he did. "It's all going to be ok. Let sit down and watch something for a bit. I hear a new episode came out of your favorite show."

He hated that show. You and Gaz may share many traits, but taste in TV as not one of those. Still he made time to watch every episode with you, even recording them on DVR. He always said DVR was the best way to watch things, he hated streaming services.

You dried off and he gave you a pair of his sweats and a plain white t-shirt before embracing you and falling onto the couch. You laid there for most of the episode. Almost falling asleep with his warmth beside you.

------

You were jolted by a knock at the door. Gaz ran to the door while you huddled at the end of the couch, worried it was your stalker. He swung the door open. Embracing the man on the other side of the door like an old brother. "Brody!" He clapped the man on his back. "Aren't you a sight for sore eyes. Have you lost weight?"

Gaz was always like this around his freinds, all charisma. (Although around people he was interested in romantically? That's something different all together. It was still a miracle he ever managed to pull you. Maybe you just like the awkward charm and bad jokes). The man stepped into your home, grinning from ear to ear and reciprocating Gaz's enthusiasm. He was wearing a policemen's uniform with the hat tucked under his elbow.

"Good to see you old freind. I've got to say I was not expecting a call like this. You always seem to take care of shit on your own, whether we like you to or not."

The police were still bitter that Gaz had left to join the 141. Alot of his freinds were on the force, and it had taken a while for them to be on speaking terms again. It warmed your heart to see that they still answered his call.

... his call. He had called the cops. Without telling you.

You couldn't lie you were a little peeved. But you never would have called yourself. You didn't like the idea of sitting and waiting for some stranger to come to your home, making you relive your worst memories.

The officer walked over to you extending a hand to your huddled position. "Brody Sangster at your service." You took it, shaking it firmly, suddenly hyper aware of your dripping hair and casual clothing.

"Nice to meet you Officer Sangster. Please have a seat." You un-hunched yourself, sitting upright on the far end of the couch, extending a hand to signal him to sit on the other end. Gaz plopped himself in a armchair to your left, holding your hand that dangled over the edge.

"I've heard you've had quite a scare. Care to tell me about it?" He pulled out a small notepad and pen from his breast pocket.

You glanced at Gaz who nodded. "I know it's scary and I know it's sudden but you wouldn't have called on your own."

You sigh and nod. "I know, it's probably for the best. Better to get this out now before it gets worse." You told Brody about the texts and the photo from the unkown number. He nodded as you spoke, asking to see the messages, which you eagerly showed him.

"Thank you for the information, I just have a few more questions if you're willing?" You nod. "Thank you, now have there been any other weird occurrences over the last few days? Cars following you, unknown calls that hang up shortly after, people asking after you to your freinds or coworkers?"

You shake your head, "not that I know of."

He writes "thank you again, one last question. Have you ever had something like this happen before?"

Your eyes go wide and you glance at Gaz before looking back at the officer. You nod slowly.

Gaz sits foreward, "how come you've never told me this?" He looks more concerned than upset.

"I was still in high school then, it never really came up. Plus last I heard he was in prison." A small shake comes to your voice as you remember him.

You had transferred halfway through the year with no freinds to speak of. Everyone at the small town school had formed clicks already without you, so you were left eating lunch alone most days.

You had first noticed him staring at you about a month into the semester. He never seemed to blink when you saw him out of your perefreal, but when you turned your head he suddenly had something more interesting.

You tried to talk to him few times, which turned out to be a massive mistake. He took this olive branch as an entire tree and began to follow you everywhere. Walking you to classes, eating lunch together, studying together, even going as far as to follow you home on multiple occasions.

Honestly you were just happy to have a freind, so you ignored all the red flags. Your next year of high school was better, you made new freinds, excelled in classes and even joined after school clubs. You still hung out with the boy of course, but you had other things to do now too.

He hated that.

Soon you found threatening notes in your book bag and your home vandalized on multiple occasions. It took months to catch him in the act, but afterwards he was quickly kicked from school.

That didn't stop him though. The threats continued and intensified up until you graduated and moved away. He seemed to be in love with you. Taking every chance he had to profess it. It all culminated in his arrest your senior year, when he had attacked your ex boyfreind in a park. Slicing the side of his face open. You had never been so terrified in your life.

"Babe?" Gaz's voice came to you over your own thoughts. "I think the officer has enough, why don't you go lay down?"

You were exhausted and just nodded, dragging yourself off the couch and to the bedroom.

You heard Gaz say a few goodbyes and the door closing and locking (louder than was normal, almost like he was putting on a show). You heard him fiddling with all of the windows for a couple of minutes before he joined you in your bedroom.

He sat on the edge of the bed with a squeak. "Hey babe, I'm sorry about that, I know that was hard. Hopefully they'll catch the guy soon and you won't have to think about him ever again." He began rubbing between your shoulders in slow rhythmic movements.

You rolled over and grabbed his hand kissing his knuckles. "I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little peeved, but your heart was in the right place. I don't think I would have had the strength to do that myself." You raised the covers inviting him in. He gladly obliged, holding you to his chest as you both settled off to sleep.

------

The next few days were largely uneventful. No new texts or photos, although a box of xhoxolates did show up at the front desk for you, but Gaz had given them the rundown (he had been driving you to work and back everyday) and they had been thrown away immediately.

It was the fifth day when you finally got a call from Brody.

"Hey, I've got some updates for you. Do you have a place to sit?"

You were at home in the kitchen making some tea when he called. You ran into the the living room, putting the phone on speaker. You plopped yourself next to Gaz and slapped him arm a few time so he would pat attention.

"Im sitting now. What do you have to tell me?"

"We caught the guy about 30 minutes ago..." He took a pause looking for words. "Umm... idk how else to say this but he was living in the unit below you. He got out of prison sometime last month and dropped off the radar. Got fake papers and everything."

Your blood ran cold. He was so close this whole time. Gaz took the phone from your hand as you processed what Brody had said. The blood rushing in your ears.

"Thank you officer can you do me one more favor... as a freind?"

Less than a half hour later you were standing in front of a line up of 5 men. Something completely unnecessary as the culprit had fressed up the moment he had been caught.

You and Gaz scanned their faces. #4 was your man.

"Damn he's ugly." Gaz said. A grin on his face. "How the fuck he ever thought he'd pull you is beyond me." You smile tightly still confused by this whole interaction. Gaz continues.  "He looks like a Muppet bred with a kangaroo." You let off a little laugh at this strangely apt quip.

"He does doesn't he."

"Yeah, and look at how he's dressed. Khaki cargo shorts? In this cold? What a douche. I bet he thinks those sunglasses make him real hot too." You laughed louder at this.

"What are we doing here Gaz?" You asked him, the light returning to your eyes after the stress of the last few days.

"Oh I just wanted to know what you were missing out on. And I'm gonna tell you it's not much. Unless your into that crazed history professor on vacation look... you know the ear hair is growing on me I think." He pokes your side making you laugh before turning to the officer at the door. "I think we're done here, thank you."

The woman nods before opening the door. Gaz grabs your hand as you leave.

"See they got him, we don't have to worry. He even violated parole, he's not coming out for a long time." You smile at him.

"Thank you Gaz, I actually feel alot better now."

"I love you so much." He stops and presses his forehead to yours.

"I love you too," you whisper in return.

He straightens back up and smiles at you. "Idk about you but I'm starving, what do you think about Indian?"

"That sounds wonderful."

Post: Gaz pays for you both to break the lease on your shared apartment. You don't mention that it makes you uncomfortable, but he just seems to know it weird you out that he was living below you. He buys a small townhouse, no bigger than your old home, but without any upstairs or downstairs neighbors.

[euphoriafanfix]

warm sheets: chapter 1

warnings: s3xu@l content 18+

38 unread messages

9 missed calls

5 voicemails

Nate turns his phone off and rolls over. He can't stand the thought of Maddy or Cassie right now. He loved one girl. One girl. The sheets are warm where she had been laying. She had gotten in the shower just about five minutes ago. Nate couldn't get images of her out his head. He traced his hand across the sheets. Feeling the heat. Remembering her body laying there. Remembering how he would gently brush against her thigh. Remembering how she would put her hands in his hair as they kissed. He loved how soft her hands were. How she would grab him and pull him into her body. How she would kiss a trail down his stomach. Then kiss his inner thigh. He loved the way she would drag the whole situation on before actually going for his cock. He loved the suspenseful yearning. The anticipation of it all. But most of all he loved the way she went down on him. She knew exactly what to do. He loved feeling her tongue on his bare skin. He loved cumming in her. He loved how she acted like it was no big deal swallowing. He loved her. He didn't just love to fuck her. He loved her.

Confident as always, she walks out of the bathroom. The tiny towel wrapped tightly around her body makes her tits pop. She is beautiful, Nate thought to himself. She waltzes over to his dresser and pulls out the first t-shirt she sees. She giggles. "2017 Beer Pong Champion" is slapped across the front of it.

"What's this?", she says with a grin on her face.

"It's my dad's. I didn't know he was cool enough to play beer pong until he gave me that shirt," he sneaks a smirk.

She lets the towel slide off her body, throwing the t-shirt over her head. Still grinning, she walks over to the edge of the bed. Nate looks down at her. She kneels to the edge of the bed. She grabs his ankles and pulls him closer. This time she starts with his shins. She kisses him slowly moving up. He can't help but get hard.

"Well that was fast. I usually have to get to your thighs before that happens."

She kisses his thighs. She rubs his stomach and brings her head up to his happy trail. She rubs his abs and arms and shoulders. She knows the suspense is killing him and yet he loves it.

She skips his cock and moves up to his neck. She nuzzles her face in the space between his collar bone and chin. She kisses him. She slides her tongue across his collarbone. Finally, she kisses him on the lips. Their bodies collide as they make out. They are completely in sync. Their bodies have a rhythm. She runs her hands through his hair. He grabs her waist and pushes himself into her. She takes off the shirt. He takes off his boxers.

Jules was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen. Everything she did was magical. He adored her.

Nate slid his dick into her. She wrapped her arms around his neck, holding him for dear life. As if she were on a rollercoaster. And honestly having sex with Nate Jacobs is just about as fun for her as amusement park rides are.

He thrusted his hips into hers. She felt his cock, rock hard, moving in and out of her pussy. She pushes him a little harder, a little deeper. She wanted him to go faster and he did. He loved control, but with Jules it was different. He liked to let her control him.

She could tell he was close to cumming and she wanted to torture him a little, so she pulled him out. She rolled back on the bed and giggled. Nate knew what this meant. He picked himself up and got on top of her. He kisses her tits. Sucking on her nipples. Licking all across her stomach. She liked when Nate licked her. She liked how he would lick every inch of her if she asked him to. He picked her up and slid her further up on the bed. Then, he got to work. He started licking her thighs and labia and eventually her clit. He knew exactly how she liked it. He twirls his tongue in circles first. Then up and down. Then he took his fingers and pressed on her. He rose back up to her face, his hand still in her pussy. He stroked, hard. She tried to suppress her moans so that no one would hear but she couldn't help herself. She gasped and moaned trying hard to be quiet. She grabbed his dick and shoved it back into herself. Nate, still rubbing her clit, thrusted deeper into her. He felt the heat of her body against his. "oh fuck nate don't stop don't stop," she whispered in his ear. "i fucking love you jules." "i know. nate keep going. harder. faster. come on." She grinded up against him, feeling every part of their bodies touch. "holy fuck jules," Nate moaned. He gasped for oxygen as the heat and pleasure consumed him. "OH FUCK FUCK," he whined. She moaned, loud. He came in her. She came on him. They both throbbed with pleasure. She felt his cum inside her pussy. Warm and wet. He stayed inside her even after they both orgasmed. They both liked feeling interconnected. She liked feeling him inside her. He rolled to her side and laid his head down on her boobs. She nuzzled herself into him and closed her eyes. He kissed her forehead and nose. They fell asleep in each other's arms. Before they knew it, the sun came up and the mourning dove was singing its woeful song.

[obwjam]

ok but hear me out- loved the killmonger one shot you just posted. What if you continue it and have a Giant Everett Ross save them 👀

honestly shocked with myself because i banged this out in like two hours during my downtime at work lol please enjoy

If it felt like days had passed before somebody came back to you, that’s because it was.

You had no choice but to assume that Killmonger had completely forgotten about you. Thankfully, you were used to going this long without food and water. It was the restriction of your freedom that was driving you crazy.

No matter how many times you slammed your body against the seemingly invisible wall, it refused to budge. The only thing it accomplished was making you sore and tired.

So when you finally heard the sounds of real human voices coming from the other side of the door, you weren’t sure if that made you excited or terrified. At the very least, it meant you didn’t have to be stuck in some high-tech cube anymore.

Everett Ross silently cursed to himself. He had let Killmonger get away again. It was like someone had told him he was coming, so he got the hell out of Wakanda as fast as he could. Ross was running out of places to look, and T’Challa and Shuri were running out of patience.

This was one of the last places he and his team were looking before officially throwing in the towel. Gun in hand, he motioned for a few agents to back him up as he kicked the door in. His eyes darted around the room, which was mostly empty, save for a few chairs, a table, and… a tiny person sitting inside a cage.

Wait. 

A tiny person sitting inside a cage.

Ross blinked a few times before turning his head around to the other agents in the room. “Go, I’ve got this one secure,” he said sternly. The agents nodded, not even noticing what – or who – was on the table as they left.

Slowly, he brought his gun down, not wanting to intimidate you any more than he already had. You had no idea what was going on, or who this guy is, but you knew it couldn’t be good.

Ross walked right up to the end of the table and bent down to meet you at your current height. He had seen a lot of things – more things than most people on the planet, he liked to think – but even this was new for him. The thing that struck him was that everything about you was remarkably human-like… you just happened to be four inches tall.

You stared back at him in equal parts curiosity and horror. As desperate as you were to get out of here, you didn’t know just how far you were willing to go. How could you possibly trust another person after this? You were hoping he would just let you go and figure your own way out of this.

“Wow. Um…” Ross was at a loss for words. “Hi. I’m, uh, I’m Everett Ross – Agent Everett Ross, with the CIA. I – um… who… why are you in here?”

You were surprised that this giant almost seemed… nervous. Huh. Maybe he could help you after all.

“Please… please let me out,” you squeaked, surprised you were even able to form words. “Please let me out of here.”

“Okay, okay,” Ross said, his voice dripping with sorrow at your terrified state. “How… how does this thing work, exactly?”

You shrugged. He didn’t actually expect you to know that, did he?

Ross chuckled when he noticed your confused expression. “Yeah, stupid question, huh? It’s just, I’m not so good with this Wakandan technology myself…” he trailed off as he waved his hands aimlessly around the invisible barrier, the electricity shimmering every time they passed by. “Man, they really made this stuff difficult to figure out, didn’t they?”

Despite the logistics, you flinched each time his hand passed over you, and Ross noticed.

“Let’s, uh, let’s take a pause on that,” he finally sighed. To your disdain, he reached back and dragged a chair over. “Now, I never asked you your name.”

All you could do was stare.The last thing you wanted to do was give up your name. It was all you had left.

“Yeah, okay, I understand,” he said quietly. It was beginning to dawn on him just how freaked out you were, and how warily you eyed his each and every movement. “This is all pretty scary, huh? Giant city, giant person…”

“...is he coming back?” you let slip. You immediately pursed your lips, as if that would take back the words you said. God, that’s embarrassing.

“What?” Ross questions. “Who? Is who coming back?”

There was something about this Everett Ross that was almost… comforting. The way he looked at you with raised eyebrows, sad eyes and a slightly open mouth gave him a soft expression that signaled compassion.

“Killmonger,” you offered, barely a whisper, but Ross heard, and his blood began to boil.

“Did you say Killmonger? As in Erik Killmonger?” You nodded. “Oh, god damn it! What did he do to you?” You flinched as his tone shifted into anger. “He didn’t hurt you, did he? I swear, when I catch that son of a bitch–”

He was cut off by you shaking your head. “He… he put me in this thing. I…” You didn’t really want to relive it, but Ross wouldn’t take his eyes off of you. “I snuck into his pocket, b-back in England. And now I’m…  here.” You looked around, still not quite clear where here was.

“Woah woah woah. You’re all the way from England?”

You nodded sheepishly. Was that a bad thing?

“Christ, kid,” he tutted under his breath. “How the hell did you end up here?” To his relief, your tremors had subdued slightly, but you still had that deer-in-headlights look that just wasn’t going to work if Ross was going to save you, scoop you up and protect you from everything and everyone.

“When was the last time you saw him?”

A pause. “I dunno. A few days ago?”

“Days? Jeez, we really need to get you out of there. You’re probably starving.”

“It’s nothing new,” you muttered. To your surprise, he heard you. 

“We can unpack that later,” he quipped. He resumed his frantic hand waving, and it was useless until you remembered something.

“Um…” You clammed up when he looked at you with those big, expectant eyes again. “I think I remember him going like this.” Ross could barely keep it together as you lifted up an impossibly tiny hand to show him a very specific gesture that he was most definitely not doing. “Try that?”

Wordlessly, he lifted his hand up and repeated your gesture, and to both of your delights, the forcefield twinkled away. Ross stuck his finger through just to make sure it had really gone.

“Alright, buddy, it’s safe for you now,” he smiled. “Let’s get you out of here.”

You took cautious steps as if you were navigating a minefield, pausing when you reached the former site of the barrier. You closed your eyes, sucked in a breath and took a stride forward.

You were free.

“There we go,” Ross cooed from far above you. He was almost afraid to make his next move, but he needed to get you out of here and report back to T’Challa. “You’re probably not gonna like this, but…”

Your heart skipped a beat as his hand, now palm-up, landed right next to you. You gaped up at the human, finally able to get a good look at him without the forcefield distorting your view. Everything about this guy screamed seasoned veteran… yet you couldn’t help but feel the sincerity in his eyes the longer you stared into them. There were no smirks, no scoffs, no degrading nicknames… he truly wanted to help. And you really needed it.

To Ross’ surprise, you didn’t really hesitate to amble onto his palm. His muscles twitched at the small impact, but he soon got over the feeling as you settled into the middle of his hand.

“Okay, this is weird,” he mumbled as he began to stand up. “Hold on there, buddy, I’m gonna start moving now.”

Ross felt his heart flutter as your tiny palms pressed into his. You felt yourself blush, knowing full well his gaze was fixated on you as he began to move.

“Where… where are we going?” you dared to ask.

“Good question, kid,” he said, voice full of affection. “First, I have to tell the prince and princess that Killmonger was in England before coming back here. They might be able to retrace some of his steps.” Your stomach churned at the idea of meeting new people, but Ross didn’t seem to realize. “Then… we gotta get you someplace safe.” 

He paused, almost embarrassed to ask his next question. “Are you alright sticking with me for a while? Be–before we find you a new home, that is,” he stumbled.

It was your turn to chuckle. “I– I think I’m alright with that.”

“Good, good.” Ross pushed the door open, tucking you near his chest to keep you shielded. “Maybe now you can tell me your name?”

For the first time in a long time, you smiled. Yeah, you supposed you could tell him your name.

[highfunctioningflailgirl]

Damage Control - 1x11 Scarecrow

After fleeing from the orchard, they check into a motel several miles away from town, paying for an extra room for Emily. They’re all tired, and after making sure that Emily feels safe and comfortable, Dean feels his knees wobble when he steps into the room he’s sharing with Sam. His head hurts, the bruised area around his eye is throbbing in sync with his heartbeat, and his vision is a little fuzzy. One more concussion to work through, he guesses. 

“Hey, you should ice that,” Sam says on cue when Dean flops down on the first bed, not intending to get back up again. Ever. 

“Thanks for the advice, mom,” he answers into the pillow.

Sam pats his leg. “Seriously. You don’t look so good. You need to take care of that eye. What happened, anyway? Did they knock you out? Did you lose consciousness?”

Dean’s too exhausted to talk. And Sam really doesn’t need to know that he took the butt end of a rifle straight to his face.

“Tripped. ‘S nothing.” Facedown, he’s barely audible.

Sam scoffs. “Yeah, right.”

Eyes closed against the pounding in his head, Dean waits for more grilling from Sam. Instead, he hears the door open and softly click shut again. Suddenly, he’s scared. Did Sam leave? Did he just fucking pick up his bag and walk out on him again? 

With Emily in the car, they hadn’t been able to talk about why Sam had returned and if he was going to stay. Honestly, Dean’s afraid to ask. It near broke him when Sam left for Stanford four years ago, in the middle of a fight with Dad, never even saying goodbye to Dean. And it took all of Dean’s self-control to hold himself together when, two days ago, Sam took off to California. 

Of course, he hadn’t let his feelings show. He’d wanted to punch Sam. He’d felt like crying. Neither would’ve been helpful or dignified, so he’d slapped on the patented Winchester poker face, even taunting Sam. And his little brother, clearly no longer as little or as impressionable as he used to be, had turned his back and walked away. 

Dean doesn’t think he can take it a third time.

He sits up, too quickly, in an irrational panic, head swimming, heart racing. Nausea wells up in him that he blames on the concussion. He wants to get up, wants to run after Sammy, but when he tries his legs are rubber and the room tilts, and he drops back onto the bed, hands white-knuckling the edge, breathing hard.

I’m gonna throw up.

He gags, and there’s no trash can in sight. Somehow, he gets back onto his feet, willing his legs to carry him this time. He barely makes it to the bathroom, lurching and bumping into the doorframe before he’s on his knees on the floor and retching into the toilet. Every heave makes his skull feel like exploding. It’s so bad he almost passes out. 

Then, he feels a gentle hand on his back. 

“Dammit, Dean…”

Sam.

Dean gags and pukes again, although there’s nothing left but bile. When he’s done, he shakily fumbles for the flush, but Sam’s faster, one hand still steadying Dean from behind. A towel appears in front of Dean’s face. He grabs it, sitting back on his haunches and burying his face in the threadbare fabric. He cannot suppress a small moan somewhere between misery and gratitude.

“You should’ve told me you have a concussion.”

“What diff-“ Dean swallows. His mouth tastes like crap. “What difference does it make?”

“I could’ve taken you to the ER to get you checked out. Still should.” Sam’s pouring water into a glass and handing it to Dean.

“Not gonna happen.” Dean takes the water and drinks, hands barely shaking. “I’ll be fine. Just need a couple hours of sleep.”

“Yeah, that’s not gonna happen either,” Sam says sternly. “Concussion protocol. You know the drill.”

Dean groans. All he wants is oblivion now, and not being woken up and prodded by a mother-henning Sam every hour. This is exactly what he’d wanted to avoid. On the other hand, Dean’s so relieved that Sam is still here that he doesn’t want to complain.

“Fine,” he grumbles into the towel. “You can hover. But no hospital! Deal?”

Sam huffs behind him. “It’s your brain damage. Just don’t grand mal seizure on me, alright?”

“Won’t. Promise.” Dean’s fairly sure he’s speaking the truth. 

“Alright.” Sam’s hand reappears under his arm. “Let’s get you to bed, then. You done hurling? Think you can stand?”

Dean nods - very carefully since the room’s only just stopped spinning. He shuffles his feet back under him and, with Sam’s help, goes vertical without face-planting or diving for the toilet again. Progress. As they make their way to the closest bed, Dean can’t help asking.

“Where were you?”

Sam gently lowers him onto the mattress. “Just now? Getting ice.”

“Whiskey?”

“For your face, dude.”

Indeed, when Dean’s settled, eyes once more closed against the headache and the residual nausea, something cold is softly placed on his swollen eye, and Dean recognizes the familiar feel of ice cubes wrapped in a dish towel. He winces, then segways into a moan of relief. 

“Good?” A sound of hollow plastic as Sam places something beside the bed. A trash can or a tub, probably, just to be safe.

“Yeah. Thanks, man.”

He wants to ask Sammy what his plans are for tomorrow. If he’s going to stay, or if he’s going to leave. But his brain feels like jello, and he’s tired and too fucking raw for chick flick moments. He really just wants to curl up against that ice pack and sleep, his brother in the next bed over.

A blanket settles on top of him.

“Wake you in an hour.”

Yeah. They can talk tomorrow.

Read the whole series on AO3 here:

[yehsahihai]

Loopy ram 2

I swear this was meant to just be ram being a pathetic little meow-meow but there's a few feels here and there

Ram groaned as his eyes fluttered open, burying his face into the pillow. The pain in his arm was still there but it was manageable. The problem was that no matter how much he told himself otherwise, he was not a morning person. At all. He hadn’t been one before and after getting married, he was even less of one. It was always too comfortable beside her, too tempting to not lie down again and hold her and fall back into the arms of sleep. 

Did you just throw a pillow at me?

She’s the most beautiful creation in the universe.

And you know I once heard her sing?

Ram started awake, as the events of the previous day hit him like a train. Turning over, he screamed into a pillow, trying to muffle the sound. There was absolutely no way he would ever live this down.

And what was wrong with him? He had blurted out everything he kept buried to the person he kept it buried from?

“Mahadev, please help me”, he prayed.

The door to the bedroom swung open, revealing her. Possibly the only thing brighter than the sun that morning, dressed in a green saree, looking far too happy for this hour. 

“Good morning Ram! How are you this exquisitely beautiful day? Did you hear the mynas outside?”

He glowered at her, thoroughly unamused by the situation. “You know”, he started, “you’re not as funny as you think you are.”

Y/n gave a dramatic gasp, clutching her heart. In a fake wounded voice, she retorted, “Ram, is that the way to address the most beautiful creation in the universe?”

Ram properly growled at that, walking out the door to the washroom. He could not deal with this, not while his head was still trying to make sense of yesterday and his cheeks warmed every time he so much as looked at her today.

Stepping out of the washroom, Ram attempted to dry off his hair with the towel, failing each time. The sprained wrist was not making things easier at all. In fact nothing was was happening very well today, with him, it seemed. 

“Ram what are you doing?”

Ram looked up to see y/n standing there, looking between him and the towel. Feeling like he’d been caught eating the food for a puja, he said, “Drying my hair? What else do people usually do when they take a bath?”

She tsked, mouth set in a disapproving line as she walked towards him. Standing close enough for him to see the light hazel in her eyes she took the towel from him, muttering “You’re being an idiot that’s what you’re doing. Honestly why can’t you just call for me?”

“I-we-you- Well you were working. I didn’t want to disturb you”

Ram almost jumped as she held his non-injured arm gently, walking to one of the chairs in the balcony and seating him on it. Opening up the towel fully with her hands she aired it out a few times, before moving to stand behind him.

Swiveling around to see her, he asked, “What are you doing exactly?”

He watched as she tucked an errant lock behind her ear, before looking at him like one would a five year old. 

“I’m planning on dancing here. Obviously, I’m going to dry your hair. Mahaan aatma hai yeh”

Ram bit down on his lip, trying not to given in to the smile creeping across his face. With as much innocence as he could muster he said, “Acha listen, come here na.”

“What?”

Tch “Just come here”

Ram waited till she was close enough, reaching out to yank her so she was on his lap. Y/n yelped, her hands landing on his chest to soften the impact. Opening her eyes, she looked at him, only to find her husband studying her; looking at her like she was the most precious thing on earth. It was making her heart flip-flop dangerously.

Ram for his part was trying very hard to remain calm. She was looking at him, eyes wide, lips parted, hands creating a steady pressure right above his heart. They could have stayed like that for god knew how long, but the trickle of water dripping down his back was not an easy sensation to ignore.

Clearing her throat, she asked, “Kya kaam tha?”

“Huh?” Fantastic. His own idea had backfired on him

“Ram? Kya kaam tha?”

“Oh, just, it’ll be easier to dry off my hair from here na?”

After a long moment of consideration from her where Ram internally fought the urge to kiss her right there and then, she said, “Fine. Just don’t try to strain your wrist further.”

“Ji begumsahiba”

Ram didn’t mean to, but the moment she moved closer to him, he couldn’t stop himself from pulling her even closer. He saw the blush overtake her face, the way she let out a silent gasp but continued her task. 

Y/n looked for a second, just a second at Ram, only to find him already looking at her. Her mind travelled back to the previous day remembering the way he had looked while she set his wrist. Letting out a small giggle at the memory, she continued to dry his hair.

Ram heard it of course. It was rather impossible to miss the most soothing, joyful sound in one’s life. Feeling himself smile he asked, “What?”

Shaking her head slightly she answered, “The last time I was this close to you, you told me my eyes looked like your wife’s”

Tipping his head back with a loud groan, Ram tried to hide his embarrassment. Running a hand down his face, he mumbled, “You really have to let that go sometime or the other.”

Huffing in mock indignation, he heard he proclaim, “Never! You should have seen yourself yesterday”

Ram let out a short laugh at that, noting how visibly happy she seemed today. He had seen her worried and anxious far too much the past few days, and now it felt like the sun was finally shining brightly. 

“Ram?”, he heard a soft voice call

“Hmm?” She really was spellbinding. Maybe one day he’d get the courage to kiss the small mole on her collarbone

“What you said yesterday-”

“Y/n it’s-I wasn’t in my senses”

“I know. But I want you to know-”

She broke off, taking in a shuddering breath. Ram’s mind immediately snapped to the present, focusing on everything, focusing on her. Peering into her eyes, he saw a few vestiges of pain and sorrow in them. God he would have given anything to take them far away from her, wrap himself such that nothing would ever dim the spark inside her.

Instead he opted for clutching her hand tightly, running his thumb over the back of her palm. “Bangaram, what is it?”

She took in another breath, curling her free hand around his neck to play with the hair at the nape of his neck. 

“I just want you to know that nothing you could do that would- that would ever make me hate you. When we got married we agreed to share our sorrows and joys, happiness and sadness, our lives right? I will be here with you always. You never have to hide from me.”

Ram realised with a shock, that both of them had tears tracing their way down their faces. He knew if he opened his mouth he’d cry; cry for the absolute relief that was washing over him, cry because of the flood of affection in her eyes, cry because for once in a very long time, he wasn’t alone. 

Engulfing her in a hug, he felt both of their heartbeats synchronise as they felt at home finally. 

“You’ve made my life jaana, you’ve made my life”

@juhiiiiii  @maraudersbitchesassemble  @gauri-vishalakshi  @lil-stark  @rambheem-is-real  @seherie @irisesforyoureyes @zaddylokiandthorsimp ​ @bromance-minus-the-b @hissterical-nyaan  @ramayantika  @phoenix666stuff @iam-siriuslysher-lokid @obsessedtoafault @chaanv @hxnky-pxnky @shawty-writes-a-little @azraelcfdeath @rambheemlove @waywardmorgan @jeonmahi1864 @thewinchestergirl1208 @budugu @ronnoxandlumoss @rorapostsbl @dumdaradumdaradum @ramcharantitties @fangirlshrewt97 @nerd-reader @burningsheepcrown @rapunzels-stuff @lite-teesko @ma-douce-souffrance @nyotamalfoy @bitchy-bi-trash @ronaldofandom