#we stan an awkward king

[obwjam]

ok but hear me out- loved the killmonger one shot you just posted. What if you continue it and have a Giant Everett Ross save them 👀

honestly shocked with myself because i banged this out in like two hours during my downtime at work lol please enjoy

If it felt like days had passed before somebody came back to you, that’s because it was.

You had no choice but to assume that Killmonger had completely forgotten about you. Thankfully, you were used to going this long without food and water. It was the restriction of your freedom that was driving you crazy.

No matter how many times you slammed your body against the seemingly invisible wall, it refused to budge. The only thing it accomplished was making you sore and tired.

So when you finally heard the sounds of real human voices coming from the other side of the door, you weren’t sure if that made you excited or terrified. At the very least, it meant you didn’t have to be stuck in some high-tech cube anymore.

Everett Ross silently cursed to himself. He had let Killmonger get away again. It was like someone had told him he was coming, so he got the hell out of Wakanda as fast as he could. Ross was running out of places to look, and T’Challa and Shuri were running out of patience.

This was one of the last places he and his team were looking before officially throwing in the towel. Gun in hand, he motioned for a few agents to back him up as he kicked the door in. His eyes darted around the room, which was mostly empty, save for a few chairs, a table, and… a tiny person sitting inside a cage.

Wait. 

A tiny person sitting inside a cage.

Ross blinked a few times before turning his head around to the other agents in the room. “Go, I’ve got this one secure,” he said sternly. The agents nodded, not even noticing what – or who – was on the table as they left.

Slowly, he brought his gun down, not wanting to intimidate you any more than he already had. You had no idea what was going on, or who this guy is, but you knew it couldn’t be good.

Ross walked right up to the end of the table and bent down to meet you at your current height. He had seen a lot of things – more things than most people on the planet, he liked to think – but even this was new for him. The thing that struck him was that everything about you was remarkably human-like… you just happened to be four inches tall.

You stared back at him in equal parts curiosity and horror. As desperate as you were to get out of here, you didn’t know just how far you were willing to go. How could you possibly trust another person after this? You were hoping he would just let you go and figure your own way out of this.

“Wow. Um…” Ross was at a loss for words. “Hi. I’m, uh, I’m Everett Ross – Agent Everett Ross, with the CIA. I – um… who… why are you in here?”

You were surprised that this giant almost seemed… nervous. Huh. Maybe he could help you after all.

“Please… please let me out,” you squeaked, surprised you were even able to form words. “Please let me out of here.”

“Okay, okay,” Ross said, his voice dripping with sorrow at your terrified state. “How… how does this thing work, exactly?”

You shrugged. He didn’t actually expect you to know that, did he?

Ross chuckled when he noticed your confused expression. “Yeah, stupid question, huh? It’s just, I’m not so good with this Wakandan technology myself…” he trailed off as he waved his hands aimlessly around the invisible barrier, the electricity shimmering every time they passed by. “Man, they really made this stuff difficult to figure out, didn’t they?”

Despite the logistics, you flinched each time his hand passed over you, and Ross noticed.

“Let’s, uh, let’s take a pause on that,” he finally sighed. To your disdain, he reached back and dragged a chair over. “Now, I never asked you your name.”

All you could do was stare.The last thing you wanted to do was give up your name. It was all you had left.

“Yeah, okay, I understand,” he said quietly. It was beginning to dawn on him just how freaked out you were, and how warily you eyed his each and every movement. “This is all pretty scary, huh? Giant city, giant person…”

“...is he coming back?” you let slip. You immediately pursed your lips, as if that would take back the words you said. God, that’s embarrassing.

“What?” Ross questions. “Who? Is who coming back?”

There was something about this Everett Ross that was almost… comforting. The way he looked at you with raised eyebrows, sad eyes and a slightly open mouth gave him a soft expression that signaled compassion.

“Killmonger,” you offered, barely a whisper, but Ross heard, and his blood began to boil.

“Did you say Killmonger? As in Erik Killmonger?” You nodded. “Oh, god damn it! What did he do to you?” You flinched as his tone shifted into anger. “He didn’t hurt you, did he? I swear, when I catch that son of a bitch–”

He was cut off by you shaking your head. “He… he put me in this thing. I…” You didn’t really want to relive it, but Ross wouldn’t take his eyes off of you. “I snuck into his pocket, b-back in England. And now I’m…  here.” You looked around, still not quite clear where here was.

“Woah woah woah. You’re all the way from England?”

You nodded sheepishly. Was that a bad thing?

“Christ, kid,” he tutted under his breath. “How the hell did you end up here?” To his relief, your tremors had subdued slightly, but you still had that deer-in-headlights look that just wasn’t going to work if Ross was going to save you, scoop you up and protect you from everything and everyone.

“When was the last time you saw him?”

A pause. “I dunno. A few days ago?”

“Days? Jeez, we really need to get you out of there. You’re probably starving.”

“It’s nothing new,” you muttered. To your surprise, he heard you. 

��We can unpack that later,” he quipped. He resumed his frantic hand waving, and it was useless until you remembered something.

“Um…” You clammed up when he looked at you with those big, expectant eyes again. “I think I remember him going like this.” Ross could barely keep it together as you lifted up an impossibly tiny hand to show him a very specific gesture that he was most definitely not doing. “Try that?”

Wordlessly, he lifted his hand up and repeated your gesture, and to both of your delights, the forcefield twinkled away. Ross stuck his finger through just to make sure it had really gone.

“Alright, buddy, it’s safe for you now,” he smiled. “Let’s get you out of here.”

You took cautious steps as if you were navigating a minefield, pausing when you reached the former site of the barrier. You closed your eyes, sucked in a breath and took a stride forward.

You were free.

“There we go,” Ross cooed from far above you. He was almost afraid to make his next move, but he needed to get you out of here and report back to T’Challa. “You’re probably not gonna like this, but…”

Your heart skipped a beat as his hand, now palm-up, landed right next to you. You gaped up at the human, finally able to get a good look at him without the forcefield distorting your view. Everything about this guy screamed seasoned veteran… yet you couldn’t help but feel the sincerity in his eyes the longer you stared into them. There were no smirks, no scoffs, no degrading nicknames… he truly wanted to help. And you really needed it.

To Ross’ surprise, you didn’t really hesitate to amble onto his palm. His muscles twitched at the small impact, but he soon got over the feeling as you settled into the middle of his hand.

“Okay, this is weird,” he mumbled as he began to stand up. “Hold on there, buddy, I’m gonna start moving now.”

Ross felt his heart flutter as your tiny palms pressed into his. You felt yourself blush, knowing full well his gaze was fixated on you as he began to move.

“Where… where are we going?” you dared to ask.

“Good question, kid,” he said, voice full of affection. “First, I have to tell the prince and princess that Killmonger was in England before coming back here. They might be able to retrace some of his steps.” Your stomach churned at the idea of meeting new people, but Ross didn’t seem to realize. “Then… we gotta get you someplace safe.” 

He paused, almost embarrassed to ask his next question. “Are you alright sticking with me for a while? Be–before we find you a new home, that is,” he stumbled.

It was your turn to chuckle. “I– I think I’m alright with that.”

“Good, good.” Ross pushed the door open, tucking you near his chest to keep you shielded. “Maybe now you can tell me your name?”

For the first time in a long time, you smiled. Yeah, you supposed you could tell him your name.

[swiftwaterprawn]

The panic on his face when Obi-Wan is heading his way lmao this is a man who can launch himself at droids and tear their heads off

#Don’t be suspicious

[awkward-writes-shit]

Mercenaries x Reader on Laughing Gas who calls them handsome

In this order; Heavy, Medic, Spy, Sniper, Scout, Demoman, Engineer, Soldier, Pyro

Heavy

“You’re handsome…”

The man was too stunned to speak. Medic told him you were going to be real honest when under laughing gas, but he wants expecting THIS.

He finds you adorable like this. You’re absolutely smaller than him (Unless you’re a tall queen/ruler/king, in which we stan * finger snaps *) and carries you around until you’re able to think straight again.

10/10.

Medic

He puts you under just for fun because he finds you cute like this, so he’s gotten used to your loopy speech

“You’re handsome…” “Danke Taube.”

Still makes him giddy every time you compliment him though. Watches you stumble around the room like a toddler.

7/10

Spy

”You’re handsome…”

He knows. He appreciates it, but he knows.

“Merci. You’re a mess…”

Finds your loopy behaviour cute and slightly entertaining. Wouldn’t actively go out of his way to help you, but will keep an eye on you so you don’t end up killing yourself.

6/10

Sniper

“You’re handsome…”

He’s flustered immediately, does the awkward pulling hat down to cover the blush move.

“Thanks Sheila…”

Probably gonna get baby locked in his van due to him not wanting you to get hurt, but also having no idea how to care for you.

8/10

Scout

“You’re handsome…”

Stop inflating his ego, you’ve doomed the others for the next hour.

“YA’ HEAR THAT BUSH MAN?! MA GIRL THINKS I’M HANDSOME”

Bro probably puts you on one of those weird monkey leashes that you put bad kids on (Couldn’t be me…) and just watches you with so much entertainment.

8/10

Demoman

“You’re handsome…”

Dude’s drunk 24/7 so you’re basically the same person at this point.

“No, YER handsome… Beautiful… Pretty… Yeah…”

He’s constantly taking care of his mom, so you’re in good hands. No sharp objects, no fire, no Pyro, absolutely no Pyro, you’re safe.

10/10

Engineer

“You’re handsome…”

So much blush on that poor Texas man’s face.

“Aw… Thanks sweet pea… How ya’ feelin’?”

We stan a man who’s concerned about you. Keeps you in his workshop while he works. More than willing to explain to you what he’s doing like you’re 5.

10/10

Soldier

“You’re handsome…”

He’s a really loud person so everyone is going to know that you called him handsome.

“OF COURSE I’M HANDSOME! I AM THE GREATEST AMERICAN ON EARTH!”

Dude would have no idea what to do with you. Heavy just ends up taking care of you.

2/10

Pyro

“You’re handsome…”

‘Happy Pyro noises’

Definitely not the best at taking care of people, but in you’re loopy state, he’s amazing.

Y’all are absolutely gonna do stuff like colouring, playing with his unicorns, and absolutely cuddling.

[snows-2am-thoughts]

Uh so Gravity Falls x The Owl House is canon?! This is the best moment of my life guys

I'd like to think Luz decides to investigate anomalies on Earth when she can since Eda had told her weird stuff on Earth was just magic leaking from the Boiling Isles. She decides on Gravity Falls because it seems that's where the biggest traces of weirdness are. Mabel and Dipper decide to go back to Gravity Falls or attend college near there after high school because it's their home and they've already been away for long enough (and lets be real, everyone besides the stans are probably still there because it's a small town and families hardly ever leave those). Dipper studies paranormal sciences or an applied research major or both and helps continue studying Gravity Falls after he graduates since Ford is off on adventures with Stan. Mabel is studying Fashion Design or Graphic Design with a minor in Photography (the sweaters and scrapbooking stuck) and is now determined to make something (I'm thinking like a fashion line, plushies, or even a cartoon/comic series since she's very creative) inspired by the weirdness of Gravity Falls. 

Luz and the twins end up meeting by chance when they're researching some of the more elusive creatures and they just kind of pause when seeing each other.

Luz: *is sweating nervously because she thinks the twins are freaked out*

Dipper and Mabel: *are sweating nervously because the last time someone found out about the weirdness the FBI got involved*

I think after a very long and awkward conversation they'd actually be really excited to know there are other humans who are open to the weirdness! Luz spent her life not thinking she'd be able to fit in around other humans and the twins have probably felt a little outcasted since they'd been through something no one outside a select few in Gravity Falls can relate to. 

Hijinks ensue. Luz and Mabel feed off of each other's bubbliness and high energy personalities. Luz and Dipper are now combining their research with Luz's knowledge of the Boiling Isles and Dipper's knowledge of the mysteries of Gravity Falls. Luz ends up taking them to the Boiling Isles to introduce them to everyone and suddenly the twins feel like they're at home. Everything is going great until they recognize Eda as a woman from one of Grunkle Stan's old pictures and now they're on a mission to locate their grunkles from whatever adventure they're on to bring them to the Boiling Isles. Stan and Eda reunion (very awkward at first because they're cautious of lingering feelings from the other but they're both well established in life now and so the awkwardness fades, chaos buddies are back) as well as both sets of twins getting to explore the Boiling Isles.

Luz now has a human based support system that isn't her mother which helps her feel ok in her humanity. The twins are able to talk about their experiences with someone who understands and even thrives in the weirdness. 

Dipper and Luz experiment and find new combinations of King's titan glyphs while Mabel and Luz work on a campaign to introduce the two worlds to each other while preventing the creation of more witch hunters or the FBI from being scared because yeesh they don't wanna repeat their trauma. 

Dynamics between the gangs! I think Hunter and Soos would be an awesome pair of bros and I could totally see Amity and Wendy being the cool and composed duo of their respective groups. Luz, Willow, Amity, Mabel and Wendy having a girls night because lord knows they need it. The boys (Hunter, Gus, Dipper and Soos) simultaneously have a boys night but it’s Dipper introducing them to BABBA and Hunter having them carve wood while Soos and Gus try to spook them. Somehow the two groups end up combining and now it’s just a big sleepover with everyone getting into shenanigans. 

King and Mabel would be besties and I can totally see her making little sweaters for him so they can match. Luz catches on and now we have three matching besties. Eda and Stan fuel each other’s gambling habits while Ford and Raine stand on the sidelines getting ready to bail them out. Dipper and Willow would totally get along and I can see them researching the more unique plants of the Boiling Isles together. Gus and Dipper discuss the differences in the worlds of witches and humans. Hunter would introduce the palismans to Mabel and she’d start sprucing up their homes and making them little sweaters. Waddles meant everything to her and if she could help them find homes then she would. 

The Collector visits and all of a sudden the GF group gets PTSD from Bill because ‘oh looks its another all powerful interdimensional being.’ When questioned about it the Collector gets concerned and decides to look into it.

The Collector: *concerned because he knows how he was when he didn’t understand human mortality and thinks this ‘Bill’ just needs to be informed* “YEESH nevermind this guys a mess, you don’t have to worry, he’s being forced into interdimensional therapy. I wouldn’t put it past him to try his old tricks though so don’t make any deals or trust anything triangular’

The GF crew: “HE’S ALIVE????”

The GF group is lowkey paranoid after that because they risked so much to make sure Bill couldn’t hurt them again and the TOH group has to comfort them because they understand. The Collector is assuring them that he’s watching out for them so they don’t have to be too paranoid. The groups go back to doing what they're doing. 

I lowkey wanna see Mabel learning magic while Dipper is lowkey just fine studying and researching since actually doing the magic stuff lost its appeal when Bill possessed him. I haven’t even thought of what Mabel’s palisman would end up being

…. WHO AM I KIDDING, IT'S PROBABLY A MINI WADDLES

OR A LLAMA

Or maybe like a squirrel or beaver, Stan’s would definitely be a crow but he and Ford probably are a little put off of doing magic themselves because of similar reasons to Dipper. Actually, maybe Stan would be a little more open since Eda is there and he knows that while she’s mischievous and a troublemaker, she’s nothing like Bill. If Ford and Dipper did wanna learn magic I think Ford gives off hawk palisman vibes while Dipper’s is definitely an owl. I just realized that all the Pines besides Mabel have bird palismans in this. That’s actually pretty good angst potential. 

I COULD WRITE SO MUCH MORE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I WANT TO WRITE A FIC

I AM GONNA WRITE A FIC

[mjfass]

While Bryan, his family and the BCC were celebrating, Pac looked like the awkward guy somehow invited to a very important birthday party for someone they only know from work. I loved it.

I THOUGHT THAT TOO! Like, that’s so me! We stan a relatable king.

[matthias-the-tulip]

my updated list of parts i hope they keep in the red, white & royal blue movie

(updated after i reread it in a day) (a lot of these are just funny lines that add absolutely nothing to the plot but they make me laugh)

• the MAGAZINE 😭

• “he has the personality of a cabbage.”

• “i want to hear you gush like he's your fucking prom date.”

• alex makes a long loud fart noise


• “i'm going to throw up on you” at the stables (doesn't look like they're at a stables in the trailer 😒)

• “i'd rather be waterboarded” also at the stables (again, doesn't look like they're at a stables)

• “i bet he has a secret lovechild,” nora says. “or he's gay. or he has a secret gay lovechild.”

“it's probably in case i see his equerry putting his batteries back in,” alex says.

• midnight ice cream on instagram

• “i didn't know you wore glasses.” (henry's wearing a suit not pyjamas and alex is not wearing glasses what's that all about!)

• awkward fist bump on “this morning” (does not look like it’s a chat show in the trailer but also would a royal even go on this morning)

• star wars stan henry 🥹

• “not impressed, just surprised.”

“at what?”

“that you actually have, you know, feelings.”

• henry is beginning to smile…

• “do you MIND?” in the cupboard at the hospital

• “you're not the prince of me” 😭

• “i'd rather not be the little spoon.”

• henry's feet in a mop bucket

• “locked in a cupboard with your elbow inside my rib cage.”

• “i cannot believe even mortal peril will not prevent you from being the way you are.”

• “are you psychoanalysing me? i don't think royal guests are allowed to do that.”

• “is that the time you threatened to push me into the thames?”

• “no booty calls.”

• “it was like you were trying to set him on fire with your mind.”

• june's (nora now i guess 😟) plot to murder woody allen

• “don't let the papers print lies about me after i've garroted myself with my tie.”

• “you are the thistle in the tender and sensitive arse crack of my life.”

• “yes, famously the most sinister of all animal sounds, the gobble.”

• “cornbread knows my sins.”

• the whole turkey situation really

• “buy a summer home in majorca with the turkey”

• MR WOBBLES

• “jabba” cakes.

• henry watching bake off

• “you're jeff goldblum”

• “yo there's a bond marathon on and did you know your dad was a total babe”.

“I BEG YOU TO NOT”

• “it sounds like you did your best.” 🥹

• the new year’s party being referred to as “the legendary balls-out bananas white house trio new year's eve party” (white house duo now 😭)

• “please do not attempt to steal my shine. you will fail and i will be embarrassed for you.”

• “says prince fucking charming.”

• get low playing at the new year’s eve party

• alex’s reaction to get low playing at the new year’s eve party

• “christ, you are as thick as it gets.”

• alex falling while running with june (nora now i guess 😟) cause he was thinking about henry

• “he's gay and you're hot, so.”

• “still waters, deep dicking.”

• “prince henry is a biscuit,” nora says,
“let him sop you up.”

• they know each other's sleep schedule and alex gets in a bad mood when he doesn't talk to him 🥹

• “you're not going to kill him, are you?” she says.
“probably not,” alex tells her

• “shut up, shut all the way up, oh my
god”

• alex pushing henry up against a wall!

• “i mean, er, should we, i dunno, slow down?”henry says, cringing so hard at himself that one eye closes. “go for dinner first, or-“

• hooking one knee around the back of alex's thigh 😉

• ”i'm going to die,” henry says helplessly.

“i'm going to kill you,” alex tells him.

“yes, you are,” henry agrees.

• alex fixing his hair for him 😢😢😢

• henry singing god save the queen (king i guess) to make his 🍆 go away

• “i am going to do very bad things to you, and if you fucking ghost me again, i’m going to get you put on a fucking no-fly list. got it?”

• “you were jealous,” alex says. “you want me.”

• henry calling alex bossy 😂

• alex literally just insulting henry while he’s going to town on him

• “do you ever stop talking?” henry says. “such a mouth on you.”

• “hi,” he says, when he reaches henry’s eye level.

“hello,” henry says back.

“i’m gonna take your pants off now,” alex tells him.

“yes, good, carry on.”

• fucking eyelashes

• when he's done, he presses a sticky kiss in the crease of alex's leg where he'd slung it over his shoulder

• the mattress shifts, and henry moves up to the pillows, nuzzling his face into the hollow of alex's throat. alex makes a vague noise of approval, and his arms fumble around henry's waist, but he's helpless to do much else.

• the tip of henry’s nose catching on alex’s

• “for fuck’s sake, man, you just had my dick in your mouth, you can kiss me goodnight.”

• monocles for babies 😂

• “i don’t like that look,” amy says. “you look…sweaty.”

• “what in the rich-white-people-sex-dungeon hell?”

• the whole polo kit situation. henry slowly putting his boot back on the floor

• “i’ve thrown men in the dungeons for less.”

“hey, don’t threaten me with a good time.”

• paris!!! leaving directions to the cheese

• “you're a mad, spiteful, unmitigated demon, and I'm going to kiss you until you forget how to talk.”

• birthday floggings et al and the buttercream!

• alex’s heart going weird at henry on the boat and having to put his head in his hands

• “i don't give a damn what joanne has to say, remus john lupin is gay as the day is long, and i won't hear a word against it.”

• “i will staple your dick to the inside of your leg”

• “i did get both of the gay kings.”

• “deflowering the darling of the republic.”

• “i'm not ... historically great at talking about things,” henry says.

“well, i wasn't historically great at blowjobs, but we all gotta learn and grow, sweetheart.”

“wasn't?"

“hey,” alex huffs. “are you trying to say i'm still not good at them?”

“no, no, i wouldn't dream of it,” henry says, and alex can hear the small smile in his voice. “it was just the first one that was.. well. it was enthusiastic, at least.”

“i don't remember you complaining…”

“yes, well, i'd only been fantasizing about it for ages.”

• baby. (!!!)

• “i miss you,” alex says before he can stop himself. he instantly regrets it, but henry says, “i miss you too.”

• “i want to ... put my fingers in his mouth...” she moans, sounding horrified.

• just the whole karaoke bar situation. plz. toilet stall hookup!

• “bisexuality is truly a rich and complex tapestry.”

• o captain, my captain

• “if only you had known the mighty work of thine loins would be undone by a gay heir who likes it when american boys with chin dimples are mean to him.”

• the fruity truth: my favourite english author is jane austen.

• “when at wimbledon”

• “i want to see a cage match between your grandmother (grandfather i guess) and this fucking ghoul running against my mom”

• “and you are good. most things are awful most of the time, but you're good.”

• “he is truly a picture, wearing an expression of bewildered panic and absolutely nothing else.”

• “jesus tits”

• henry falling out of the wardrobe and just. sitting on the floor. (zahra finds him in the wardrobe instead :()

• “i thought you were getting into international relations or something.”

“i mean, technically-“

• “you're literally putting your dick in the leader of a foreign state, who is a man, at the biggest political event before the election, in a hotel full of reporters, in a city full of cameras, in a race close enough to fucking hinge on some bullshit like this, like a manifestation of my fucking stress dreams, and you're asking me not to tell the president about it?”

• all of zahra's quips tbh - “every time i see you, it takes another year off my life.” - “ask me if i'm afraid of the crown.”

• SEXUAL EXPERIMENTATION WITH
FOREIGN MONARCHS: A GRAY AREA.

• EXPLORING YOUR SEXUALITY: HEALTHY, BUT DOES IT HAVE TO BE WITH THE PRINCE OF ENGLAND?

• FEDERAL FUNDING, TRAVEL EXPENSES, BOOTY CALLS, AND YOU

• history, huh? bet we could make some. (the emails plz like i need at least some of them read aloud over a montage or something)

• “some saucy tart once tried to impugn my virtue against an oil painting of him, and in the halls of memory, some things demand context.”

• I GUESS THAT MAKES YOU. THE MF. NORTH STAR.

• “i thought you might need to, like, have a catholic moment about this or something?” 😭

• “santa maria is watching!”

• skinny dipping!!!

• “philip is the heir and i'm the spare, and if that nervy bastard has a heart attack at thirty-five and i've got malaria, whither the spare?”

• alex's meltdown outside kensington. very important. - “how 'bout i just keep yelling and we see which of the papers show up first!” he turns back to the window and starts flailing his arms too. “henry! your royal fucking highness!”

• “jesus, could you stop being an obtuse fucking asshole for, like, twenty seconds?”

• “i fucking love you, okay?” alex half yells, finally, irreversibly.

• “what do you want?”

“i want you-”

“then fucking have me.”

“-but i don’t want this.”

• “a whole lifetime of fine. that’s not good enough for me.”

• henry nuzzling his nose behind alex's ear.

• alex laughs and grabs his head and aggressively kisses his cheek, smashing his face into the pillow.

• “next time we shall visit some of the george Ill pieces and see if they burst into flame.”

• DANCING TO YOUR SONG IN THE MUSEUM

• “i completely fucking love you” and the ring and the chain

• “once shaan managed to dislodge him from the chandelier”

• henry’s email about memories and grief and the first time he saw alex

• “jesus, be a gay beard”

• henry and alex in the car after the fake date

• “i will physically fight your grandmother (grandfather i guess) myself if i have to, okay? and, like, she's (he’s) old. i know i can take her (him).”

“i wouldn't be so cocky,” henry says with a small laugh. “she's (he’s)full of dark surprises.”

• “your spine's a ridge i'd die climbing”

• “check the fucking news, you horny little miscreant”

• “it’s about to be gay DEFCON five in this administration.”

• “then fuck it.”

• the big group hug

• oscar saying “give ‘em hell.”

• “you're my mean friend.”

• “jumping off cliffs is kinda my thing”

• I 😭 LOVE 😭 HIM 😭 ON 😭PURPOSE 😭 they can't leave that out if they do i'll kill someone

• “what are we even defending here, philip? what kind of legacy? what kind of family, that says, we'll take the murder, we'll take the raping and pillaging and the colonizing, we'll scrub it up nice and neat in a museum, but oh no, you're a bloody poof? that's beyond our sense of decorum! i've bloody well had it. i've sat about long enough letting you and gran and the weight of the damned world keep me pinned, and i'm finished. i don't care. you can take your legacy and your decorum and you can shove it up your fucking arse, philip. i'm done.”

• “for what it's worth,” he says to philip, “that is the bravest son of a bitch i’ve ever met.”

• “we banged it out last night” + high five

• “i've been gay as a maypole since the day i came out of mum, philip.”

• all the support for them 🥹

• bea pouring the tea on philip's lap

• “you know, i think all that cocaine i did must’ve really done a job on my reflexes!”

• henry pulls alex close and kisses him, whispers, "i love you i love you i love you."

• never 😭 tell 😭 me 😭 the 😭 odds 😭

• “my life is a cosmic joke and you're not a real person”

• “you are the absolute worst idea i’ve ever had”

• “listen, you've had your first big sex scandal. no more sitting at the kids' table.”

• how to love each other in plain sight

• “holding henry’s hand atop his own knee” in the portrait

• “all this fundraising for sobriety is going to drive me to drink”

• “i'm the prince of...here” 😭

• “you spent a month of your gap year talking to yaks in mongolia, h.”

• “i know it's a lot, but you give people hope. so, get back out there and be alex.”

• the super six 😭 (fantastic five now i guess)

• the picture of them on the cover of the magazine

• henry fixing june's hair 🥹 (NORA NOW I GUESS 😟)

[madaraservingcunt]

so much debate over whether or not madara fucks/is fuckable ranging from bro was the ultimate manwhore to he died a virgin but i raise you a secret third thing see to ME his deal is that he is gorgeous and could beat u into the ground so theoretically he should be slinging mad dick but irl his vibes are so offputting and horrendous that he has absolutely negative rizz, a blackhole of rizz if you will. IF perchance u get past the rancid vibes and still want to smash it will never happen hes so fucking oblivious. spiritually and hypothetically hes a whore physically and narratively hes an incel. rip king u shouldve been smashing ur way through the five nations like an absolute chad but instead got nuked by a disloyal ho

Agreed, I believe he has negative rizz! But in my brain he's such a nasty little freak. Great analysis!

He is a funny guy who says funny things.

Sometimes he is so charismatic because of how much cunt he served in his revival.

He says some bangers for sure. But he reminds me of this old man who would come talk to me every day when I was held captive as I delivered his mail. He was awkward and seemed to have no one to chat regularly with and definitely said some crazy ass shit, but over the years he seemed to have some fine tuned stories that made him come across as charming if the light hit right.

Examples of Bro loving to talk. I'm sure Zetsu regret choosing him to manipulate sometimes. We stan anyways tho 🤪

[mizugucci]

onf in chicago

hi yall im finally posting my account of seeing onf in chicago!!!! its only like 4 days late... like i said best day ever!!! below are all my notes + a bunch of photos, please forgive what i look like lol but i was so happy :)

for those that know me, know this was a HUGE deal. so of course this is going to be very long and detailed. luckily for most of my followers ill be putting it under a readmore <3

so i bought the highest tier ticket for obvious reasons, so ill just so chronologically:

first was sound check and they did ugly dance and i could NOT believe i was seeing onf in the flesh. im pretty sure i died and went to heaven then and there

once they were done with soundcheck, they did the hi-touch and group photo. the actual practice was messy but it was fun so i don't think people minded. i dont remember anything except that for whatever reason, i was legitimately the FIRST PERSON and it was a lot lmao

additionally during the group photo i had wyatt to myself lol i froze for a second but he was so kind and polite, he asked what pose i wanted to do and i dont remember if i responded or not but we did a little heart together <3

then the fansign happened and i dont remember the majority of it, partly bc i was a flustered idiot lol but i got my complete album signed!!!! life goal met for sure. wyatt i remember specifically thinking again how kind and polite he was, idr seungjun/etion but i got to hyojin and he had his hand up kind of for a highfive and i gave him the album and tried to high five at the same time it was. very awkward LOL he thought it was funny (i hope) then yuto complimented my kitty cat ears!!! i remember saying something stupid and being an idiot in front of minkyun too but. what can we do

finally was the long anticipated fanchat!!! i had my fanchat with yuto obviously and it was nerve wracking as hell but i love him so much i powered through and i hope he got something out of our conversation

the photo that we took & he signed was my best one of the night, so im really happy with how that turned out. its going to be my treasure for a long time to come:

anyway first thing i want to note is that we were sitting at high tables for the talk, but he couldnt even sit without the table dwarfing him so he stood the whole time LMAO my short king i love him so much

so after we took the photo i sat down and honestly im not sure how much he understood the first half, bc he didnt react/respond and he was slightly confused about english in the 2nd half but ANYWAY i told him i was so so proud of him, how far he's come and especially weathering the time of being alone during military era... lots of gushy stuff lol

then i asked him what b-side he liked dancing to the most and he was SO CUTE when he cocked his head and went "b-side?" so it took a moment to get my point across and he was like ohhhh, umm fly me to the moon! and i almost made a total fool of myself reacting LOL bc as some of you know, fly me to the moon is literally my favorite ONF b-side. of all time. and partly due to yuto's center dance break with the saxophone.

yuto was confused but excited when i reacted (like i audibly gasped) and i said omg thats my favorite too!!! and he got so happy and i even proved it further being like, *points to u* dance break center! saxophone! and he nodded a bunch and was so excited lmao

i think he was also surprised at being a favorite, especially when he asked me when i became a fan and i said end of 2017 (which was true i was a fan, but became a stan in jan of 2019) and he seemed impressed! then our chat had ended there and i almost passed out afterwards haha

then we all had to leave the venue again before the concert started. i met a lot of really cool people that day so some of us went across the street to dunkin. had fun lmao

the concert started and my GOD minkyun's mic was on!!!!! and how does he always have so much energy??? also i had the lightstick and was having the time of my life screaming along lol they were fantastic incredible showstopping etc etc i tried to take some videos but i was just vibing (and shaking) too much i had to give up. but it was so nice to finally go to a concert that i had the lightstick for

went into the concert with solid 3rd bias (etion) and came out of it 3rd bias as seungjun lol. theres a lot to talk about song-wise but ill save that for later. in short, i almost cried when they did bye my monster. and tmwl. and byubyu.

also elle i did record asteroid for you (not that its a good video, or one that ill share...) but it did remind me of you lol! they did difficult & moscow moscow which were both surprises to me but very welcome. all day as well was fantastic!

about halfway thru the concert (but not the ballad section) i had given up on videos so i was just rocking out w the lightstick & i pretended to hit hyojins high note with the lightstick as a microphone until someone that i met nudged me & looked up to see seungjun staring at me

it was sooo funny the facial expression he was making. i cant even describe it but once we made eye contact it was like he smiled slowly literally like the grinch and went 'hehe' to make sure i knew he saw me doing that LOL

so i knew i had to get a snapshot with him that showcased the lightstick:

theres so much more about the concert but its all mainly about the songs & the fact i finally saw them live. but i do need to mention the fact goosebumps was practically a rave lmao loved it

after the concert was the group photo selfie which was really cool but would be better if my phones camera wasnt absolute shit & they did a more flattering angle...

dont let this photo fool you, they are short kings (im as tall or taller than multiple of them, minkyun & wyatt are the only ones i remember being taller than me. wyatt was surprising)

i didnt really say anything memorable during snapshots bc i was just so star-struck, but i do remember wyatt going out of his way to be nice lol also i saw yuto multiple times & i was sooo mad there was only a few of us that bought premium snapshot for him. i also got along well with minkyun and highfived him again. i let most of the members choose their poses. yes i got multiple mks. yes i made him do cat ears.

and here are all the others. i got at least 1 type of snapshot with each of the members

anyway tl;dr best day of my life, its only downhill from here! unless they announce another tour... we shall see... im so glad they're getting so much love from fuse, i know we (both onf and fuses) have been waiting for a long time

im also very happy that there really is no reason NOT to have overseas tours... we've already beat the 7 year curse & completed military. the world is onf's oyster and i cant wait to see what they do going forward <3

[noirvette]

WE NEVER EXISTED

[band smau]

[FIFTEEN]

masterlist.

prev. | next.

Note: haha... it's a long one guys..

The concert had ended and you couldn't help but think it was the most fun night of your life. South Park certainly knew how to draw in a crowd and give a band their best experience ever. Endorphins running through your body at an all time high, you felt happy, light, floaty in a way. Like nothing could ever tear you down.

"What a night!" Clyde exclaimed, tossing his drumsticks in the air, doing some random juggling routine with them.

Nichole hummed a noise of agreement, "Right! I don't think I've seen so many people of South Park in one place before."

Everyone nodded at Nichole's statement.

"Well, I for one am beat," Stan sighed out, before taking a sip of his water, "I don't think I've sang that many high notes in my life before in one concert."

"You did a good job bro," Kyle slapped his hand on Stan's back, rubbing his shoulder a bit, "You all did."

Clyde stared at the scene in front of him before turning to you mouth open wide in shock before looking back at Stan and Kyle, "Oh my god they're making out in front of us guys!"

You stifled your laugh as Stan turns to Kyle make obnoxious kissing noises towards him, "Style will be real in 10 seconds."

Kyle scoffed and turned to find a place to sit down and Stan threw his arms around Kyle's waist, "NOOOO babe don't leave meeeeee."

"Oh my god you weirdo," Kyle rolled his eyes in mock annoyance, "Fine, fine I'll sit with you, scooch over."

Stan does so and Kyle sits besides him, "Well we've got some downtime before the truck guys come to grab our equipment, what do you guys wanna do?"

"FOOD. OH FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING PRECIOUS TO ME, CAN WE PLEASEEEE ORDER SOME FOOD!!" Clyde falls to his knees, begging.

Kyle took his phone out opening DoorDash, "Yeah I'm feelin hungry myself, what you guys want? I'll start a group order but you all owe me back."

You patted your pocket, "Oh wait where's my phone?"

Kyle's face briefly shows one of panic, "I uh, put it on the charger you left it and I found it dead.. so I plugged it in for you."

"Oh! Thanks Kyle."

"No problem, I'll just pay for you for tonight."

Clyde scoffs, "What is THIS Kyle Broflovski? You pay for our dear bassist but not for your lovely Clyde THE Donovan?"

"Clyde."

"This is like........instrumentalism..Do you just like bassists? Do you hate drummers?"

Nichole looks up in confusion, giving Clyde a side eye, "That.. is definitely NOT a word meant for that use smart ass."

"Uh huh, it sure is, don't change the topic though Nicky.. the important thing here is that no one is paying.. for ME!"

Kyle sighs, "Clyde."

"Uh.. I'm not finished yet," Clyde holds a finger up, "As I was saying, why don't you pay for me too! Do you just hate me, Kyle? I thought we were besties..."

If emoticons could be used as tones... you swear Clyde would sound like exactly like the sad emotion right now.

"Clyde." Kyle tries again.

"Oh my god can you let me do what I need to do?" Clyde frowns in fake irritation.

"Did..are you quoting Tyler the Creator right now? Seriously?" Stan asks.

"Yeah."

You snort at Clyde's antics and Kyle rubs his eyes, "Dude.. You can pay for yourself.. your phone is right there.. and CHARGED. You literally just got an angry birds notification."

Clyde turns around and sure enough his phone sat lit up with an angry birds notification sitting on his home screen, "Oh well this is awkward.. but still! It's the principle of things.."

Before Kyle could utter another word, Clyde continues, "BUT! I'll let you off the hook.. I'll pay for myself; you win this time.. Kyle Matthew Broflovski.."

"NOT THE FULL NAME." Stan bursts out laughing hard and Kyle sits there with his head in his hands, face covered in a slight blush from embarrassment.

Nichole, having tuned the conversation out and scrolling on DoorDash herself, pipes up with, "Does Burger King sound alright? It's either that or McDonalds and I'd rather not have them again tonight."

"Sounds good with me!" You chirp and the other three give their own mentions of agreement.

Kyle sends the link out and then gets up to sit beside you, "What would you like?"

"Hmm.." You lean in to get a better look at his phone and Kyle stiffens a bit before handing his phone to you.

"Thanks," You add your order in and hand the phone back to him, "Hey Kyle do you think my phone's charged by now?"

Kyle hums briefly and without thinking says, "Yeah should be."

"Oh great, where is it?"

He pauses briefly, having realized what he said, "Uhhh... You know.. I'm not sure where I plugged it in, give me a second to place the order if everyone would FINISH," He gives Stan a harsh side eye who just shrugs in return, "And I'll help you look."

Nichole frowns and gives you a glance and you catch it and just shrug, "Alright works with me, just as long as my phone is still here and someone didn't take it.. because you'd be owing me a new phone mister."

Kyle places the order and stands up, "Yup, I know.. That's why I'm hoping it's still here myself. Alright well lets go find it."

Kyle starts walking off towards the trailers and you follow, the other three look at each other and immediately start gossiping once you two are out of ear shot.

"Alright, what the hell is going on between those two?" Nichole asks.

Stan shrugs, "Hell if I know, suddenly they just became like that!" Stan snaps his fingers.

"Okayy.. well they've always been relatively close, I mean not as close as recently but, they've always had an easier connection." Clyde points out.

"Right and this is Y/n we're talking about.. she wouldn't be stupid enough to cheat on Kenny right?" Stan questions and Nichole shakes her head.

"No, that girl is dedicated to him, she wouldn't dream of doing that to Kenny."

Clyde sits for a minute, thinking, "Well what if Kyle's manipulating her? To like fall in love with him? I mean he's liked her since.. how long now?"

Stan looks over at Clyde incredulously, "Dude! That's my best friend you're dissing right now and absolutely not, Kyle isn't that kind of guy."

Clyde shrugs, "Hey bro I was just throwin ideas out there."

"Yeah, shitty ones."

Nichole chimes in, trying to break the random argument that's about to start, "Uh guys."

"I don't hear any genius ideas coming from YOU, Stanley Randall William Marsh."

"WHY ARE YOU SAYING OUR FULL NAMES LIKE THIS." Stan raises his voice in exasperation.

"Cuz it's funny." Clyde simply states.

"Uhhh... Guys?" Nichole says with more urgency.

"Yes Nichole?" Clyde turns to look at her, batting his eyelashes.

"Have.. you two seen twitter?"

You turn to ask Kyle, "You sure you left it in here?"

Kyle scratches his neck and looks around the trailer room, "Yeah, it should be here."

"No it's not." You sigh.

"What?"

"You have a thing, you scratch your neck and refuse to make eye contact when you're hiding the truth."

"A...thing?" Kyle asks confused.

"Yeah like a tell, people have these quirks about them that they do.. when they're lying or if they're happy or you know something like that."

Kyle still stares at you with slight confusion, "And... mine is scratching my neck and refusing to make eye contact?"

You nod, "Yeah.. pretty much."

"So you're calling me a liar?"

"I'm not calling you a truther."

"Don't," Kyle holds a hand up, "Quote Drake and Josh when you're accusing me of lying."

You cross your arms annoyed, "I'm not accusing you of lying I'm stating you're not telling me the truth right now... about MY phone no less."

Kyle sighs in defeat, "Okay.. You got me, but Y/n, sit down."

"Wha?" You start.

"Please."

"Wow, okay.." You slowly start to sit down and Kyle sits down at the couch across from you, "What is this about.?"

Kyle bites his lip and refuses to meet your gaze, "Y/n.. I.."

"Oh my god," You nervously chuckle, "You're scaring me, Kyle."

Kyle runs a hand through his hair and stares at the ground, you can see his jaw is clenched.

He looks back up at you and wordlessly fishes your phone out of his back pocket and slides it over to you.

"You had it? Kyle what the he.." You trail off, meeting his gaze. His eyes tell you that he's nervous.. that he's serious.. and that he's sad.

You swallow nervous again.. you can feel the mood change in the room, really you think it changed a while ago but your nonchalance about the reality of whatever is happening prevented you from fully noticing it.

You're not sure what to be thinking, thoughts run through your mind at the speed of 120 miles per hour. Complete worry stains your body and covers you in a blanket of fear.

"Y/n." Kyle starts, in a full serious tone.

"...Yeah?" You answer apprehensively.

"Kenny's cheating on you. I found out during the set."

White noise. White noise filled your ears, the room was so silent that you could literally hear the noise of dust settling around you.. at least you thought you could. What you could be hearing is the blood draining from your head or is it the blood rushing to your head?

Your heart beats faster and you're pretty sure to Kyle you look as if you just had a heart attack. Frozen in shock... frozen in.. dread? You're not sure what to feel.

Your throat is dry, your mouth is dry, "How..? Who..?" You croak out.

"The podcast earlier released it, it uh, was Red.. They've been together since right after we left for our tours."

"Oh- Oh my god I'm going to be sick." You gasp out.

Kyle instinctively wraps his arms around your body, holding you tight. You know that if you were standing, you'd have collapsed onto the ground. He rubs circles into your back and rubs his hands along your sides to comfort you.

You can also feel Kyle whisper in your ear comforting phrases, at least you'd assume it's comfort. You can't hear anything, the shock of the situation hitting you even harder now you know everything.. or at least everything you need to know.. everything you want to know.

You can't feel tears.. you're not sure why, maybe a part of you expected this... no, no how could you ever expect something like this? Your body is in a catatonic state. You feel sick yet you feel fine. Almost as if your body is fighting itself in a way that you don't know how to deal with.

You feel hollow.. empty.. like someone just ripped a half of you away with no explanation as to why. Except you HAD an explanation.. a horrible, awful, shitty, excruciatingly painful explanation.

You hear the trailer door open and a few gasps, before feeling three pairs of arms circle your body. You felt cold, you felt numb, you felt broken. But above all?

You felt alone.

TAGLIST: @captivq @kimiesstuff @bwljules @the-cooler-kira @1one1person1 @kenny-the-ken @neenieweenie @n0tangeliccc @frogindisguise @revzxn @ryenwritess @mirophobic @gonefiishiing @musiclovebot @bootsieboo @bonez4brainz @s0l4riss @1996kj @sweetadonisbutbetter @scinclaitnoir @okarigold

[groundnul]

Through the Glass (Giyuu Tomioka x GN!Reader)

Prompt: “Rengoku's such an inspiration to me (we stan a king, tbh) and Giyuu is so criminally underrated (the dancing one was so cute) and I'm always happy to see more of them. Could I request a food date with Kyoujurou or an aquarium date with Giyuu? Either format would be welcome, thanks!”

Summary: A work event-turned impromptu outing leaves you alone at an aquarium with Tomioka Giyuu, the notorious hard-ass of Kimetsu Academy who has a soft spot for you that even he has yet to discover. As these feelings rise to the surface, he is left to wonder: will he sink or swim? 

Word Count: 10.1K 

Warnings: brief mentions of insecurities, generally awkward interactions, slight miscommunication/lack of communication, children, sharks  

note: pretend like i didn’t just disappear for two years before coming in and dropping the longest one-shot i’ve ever written. kind of tried a different format with these! a mix between headcanons and a fic, really. let me know what you think!

being a fellow teacher at Kimetsu Academy, you’ve known Giyuu for a couple years now

you started teaching a little after he did, and while you operated in different departments and different parts of the school, you’ve still gotten to know him gradually through schoolwide functions, staff meetings and disciplinary proceedings

you had always considered Giyuu to be incredibly methodical, meticulous and strict – in all honesty, he’s kind of a hard-ass, but at least he’s a well-intentioned hard-ass

on the surface, he’s always on time, stringent with deadlines, and someone who, for the most part, plays by the rules

and as fate would have it, his eye for detail and deadlines put him in charge of tracking staff assignments

so you have been unlucky enough to find yourself on the wrong side of a pointed stare as you entered a room only seconds before a meeting began, and had the pleasure of being confronted by a barrage of minor corrections to paperwork 

these conversations are usually short and pretty awkward, him pointing out your shortcomings with red ink and sticky notes, but he’s never mean-spirited. just uncomfortably cold

to be entirely honest, you were convinced he didn’t care much for you – you caused lots of small problems here and there, and surely inconvenienced him more times than you can count

but still, you always greet him in the mornings and as you pass him in the hallway, and you generally try to strike up a casual one-sided conversation as you wait for meetings to start (assuming you arrive with time to spare) or after you finish correcting whatever embarrassing mistake you made

you respect that he’s only doing his job, and while his seemingly calloused demeanor does him no favors, you don’t think he has bad intentions

he’s simply doing his job a little too well, while you’re doing yours… kind of not as well

so needless to say, this is definitely your first date!! but not intentionally

initially it was supposed to be a work outing amongst a few of the staff members of Kimetsu Academy to try and Build Character and whatnot

but literally only you and giyuu showed up

you were awkwardly waiting for the others inside the aquarium on a bench together for twenty minutes

he seemed indifferent, but judging by the increasing frequency of checking his watch, you could tell Giyuu was growing restless

you tried to distract from the silence with questions

to which he responded politely but curtly (as expected)

“Have you ever been to an aquarium?” you ask Giyuu, waiting for a lull in passers-by so you wouldn’t have to shout. His head turns slightly to you, meeting your eyes for just a moment before pointing his gaze elsewhere.

“Once,” he states matter-of-factly. “When I was younger.”

You nod kind of exaggeratedly in response, murmuring “nice, nice” aimlessly with a smile. Your eyes flicker between him and the families passing by, keeping an eye out for anyone you work with.

“Did you have any favorite exhibits when you went?” you ask again after a beat of silence, trying to ignore the palpable awkwardness of the situation.

He thought for a moment, indicated by just the smallest shift in his expression.

“Not that I can remember,” he answers honestly, suddenly studying the pavement beneath his shoes. Perhaps brevity is a practiced talent. His eyes eventually shift back to his watch.

You nod again with a small “hm” of understanding, adjusting the bag in your lap a bit. He quietly unfolds a map of the aquarium beside you – where did he get that? – and starts scanning the layout. It grows quiet again, and this time you can’t help but check the time for yourself on your phone. The rest of your group is about 20 minutes late, by this point.

“I guess it’s taking everyone a while to get here,” you comment, unlocking your phone. “I’ll go ahead and text Rengoku-san to check in.”

Giyuu gives a small nod in response, and you set to typing your message. After giving it a once-over, you press send and await a response.

“Okay, done,” you say with a smile, locking your phone again. Giyuu doesn’t respond, his eyes still roaming around the unfamiliar map terrain.

Silence settles in again, and you’re left twiddling your thumbs, looking mindlessly at the rock walls surrounding you. You nearly fall into a trance as you study the winding cracks in the architecture, the sound of Giyuu’s voice startling you.

“--t about you?” he seemed to ask, eyes falling on your figure for the first time in a while. You grow warm at the sudden attention, embarrassed for zoning out.

“Hm?” you inquire as you meet his eyes, hoping he’ll repeat whatever it was. His eyes look to the wall behind you for a second before meeting yours again.

“An... aquarium,” he repeats. “Have you been to one?”

“Oh!” you laugh quietly in relief. “Yeah, I went a couple times when I was kid. With school and family, I think.”

He nods much like you did before, only much less noticeably, offering a “mm” in response. After an uncomfortably long silence, he offers up your own question to you again.

“Any… favorite exhibits?” he asked. Out of your peripheral, you could see one of his hands fiddling with his jacket cuff. He was wearing a black variation of his usual blue tracksuit. 

You thought for a moment, tilting your head to one side and then the other as you considered the question.

“Actually, I really liked seeing the dolphins!” you chuckle, remembering how you’d begged your parents to watch their hourly show. “But I’m not sure if that really even counts.”

Another polite nod was interrupted by buzzing from the phone in your hand. Turning the screen over, you see an incoming call from Rengoku Kyoujurou.

“Ah, sorry, it’s Rengoku-san,” you explain briefly before answering the call and pressing it firmly to your ear.

big mistake holding the phone so close

cue: wincing and pulling the phone away immediately because of how unintentionally loud kyoujurou is

after explaining that you and giyuu were already inside the aquarium waiting, you were kindly informed by your coworker that the outing had been moved to next weekend (something that was conveniently not mentioned to Giyuu or yourself)

he apologizes for the hiccup in communication and says he’ll get the tickets comped for you, which is nice, but you already came the whole way here

and now you’re caught thinking about just how weird it was to have this little outing planned in the first place. what were you supposed to do, bond with your coworkers over fish or something? anyway

a little annoyed but accepting that it was just a misunderstanding, you thank him and hang up

after you tell giyuu the event was moved he just sighs and looks at his watch again, kind of unsure what to do because bro really planned his entire week around this one event he doesn’t get out much okay

Another awkward silence settles over the two of you as you try to find something to say.

“So… what do you want to do?” you ask tentatively. Your question is met with one of his own.

“What do you mean?”

This time it’s your turn to anxiously fiddle with the sleeve of your shirt, searching for the least weird way to ask this.

“Well, do you still want to look around?” you reason innocently. “I know the outing was moved, but we already have the tickets and all…”

You’re met with silence and a slightly wide-eyed stare, which sends you into a panic.

“If not, t-that’s okay! I mean, I’m sure you have better things to do on a Saturday,” you rush to clarify, not wanting to accidentally guilt him into spending any more time with you than necessary. “Or if you just want to look around by yourself, that’s okay too, I just–”

“That’s fine,” he states plainly, cutting your nervous tangent short.

“I– Huh?”

A beat of silence passes at his unexpected answer.

“I said that would be fine,” he clarifies a little louder, perhaps thinking he was too quiet the first time. His expression returns to its usual withdrawn state, punctuating his sentence with a distinct lack of enthusiasm, but you don’t mind.

It still takes a moment to sink in that he actually said yes, but once it does, you’re almost embarrassed by how excited you suddenly feel. You haven’t been to an aquarium in ages.

“Really?” you ask, anticipation as toned-down as you can muster. Wouldn’t want to seem too eager for an impromptu aquarium adventure with your emotionally-distant coworker, right? “Are you sure?”

He offers a simple nod in return with a “mhm” to re-confirm his answer. You unconsciously flash him a wide smile.

“O-okay! Cool! Let me just, uh,” you throw your bag over your shoulder, fumbling to situate yourself as you stand. You exhale in preparation. “Okay. Where should we go first?”

and so begins the aquarium trek!!

now giyuu is the type to go with the flow on just about anything in these kinds of situations

he doesn’t really have any particular desire to see a certain exhibit or anything, he’s for real just along for the ride

so it IS going to feel like you’re just dragging him around sometimes, and you probably are, but he doesn’t mind. he kind of prefers it, actually?  

ironically, it’s generally his complacency that earns him a bad rap with the other teachers for his withdrawn demeanor and reluctance to jump in on group activities

while he is resistant to the idea he is widely unliked, he can still tell there is a tangible divide between himself and some of his coworkers

generally he’s reclusive. he doesn’t go out drinking with the other teachers or partake in small talk, opting to either listen in silence or leave. whether or not this is a conscious decision to exclude himself is unclear

which is why it was surprising he agreed to not only come to an aquarium on a work outing in the first place, but stay with you to explore following its rescheduling

he’s been called lots of not-very-nice things, most equating to the idea of him being snobbish or a wet blanket, and from your perspective he just seems withdrawn and kind of cold  

BUT you can tell something seems… weird. you hear a decent amount of complaining from your more vocal coworkers about him and his rules, but rationally you think he wouldn’t willingly ostracize himself in his own workplace

plus not all of your coworkers dislike him! teachers like kanae and kyoujurou get along with him just fine. granted, you’ve never seen them not get along with someone, but still  

and moreover, he’s not malicious – he’s harmless, even, bar the occasional dings to your self-esteem from his pointed criticisms. also the heavy-handed dress code violations he hands out, but that doesn’t really affect you. and! this outing is arguably only kind of work, so maybe he’s different! either way, you wanted to give him a chance. what’s the worst that could happen?

now, giyuu………. has a soft spot for you. but probably doesn’t even realize it. you are never harsh towards him, you never make backhanded comments or ignore his existence altogether. he likes you, even– he hasn’t put the pieces together that his feelings might be romantic in nature, but he can tell he finds a certain comfort in your interactions

whereas in your eyes all you do is cause him problems, in his eyes, you aren’t any more or less competent because you make mistakes

what matters to him is how you handle them. always with a smile and quick on the turnaround – the same could not be said for others he is responsible for correcting

you always listen to whatever he has to say (even if he has to say it twice just so you can hear it, sometimes) and you try to never make the same mistake twice

you’re kind and resilient, and most people seem to like you. your warmth draws people in like moths to a flame.

in any case, you seem like polar opposites

so when YOU were the one that proposed venturing through the aquarium together of your own free will, he was more than a bit taken aback

he’s never understood how to get close with people. he’s not good with words, and he’s not the most social. it’s something that largely escapes him, forces him to move in silence with small gestures that usually go unnoticed like turning your desk light off for you after you’ve left, or making sure the mug you use during lunch is always clean

and he does all of this without expecting anything in return, simply because the kindness in your eyes makes him feel fuzzy and the spirit with which you move through life leaves him in silent awe

so asking him to spend time with you… alone, in a public place… on the weekend… now officially outside of work hours? consider this man thrown for a loop

of course he’s nervous, but he’d regret it if he said no

so he agrees, and now he’s here with you. what is he supposed to do now?

all of this is swirling in his head as you take the lead just slightly in front of him

Your first stop isn’t really a stop– it’s a walk-through tunnel created to look like a broken ship. Several small inlets in the faux woodwork give way to panels of aquarium glass showing an artificial sea floor decorated with coral, mollusks and several varieties of small schooling fish. Children rush back and forth between the many lower-height glass panels, calling dibs on a certain fish or creating little games with their friends. Giyuu’s eyes track their movements cautiously as you both walk.

It was obvious this area was more for kids than adults, but there were enough glass panels at your height to get a good view of the action. Giyuu looks on similarly through his own window about a foot away, eyes scanning the sea floor seemingly indifferent as a stingray emerges from the sand, previously undetected.

Suddenly the many children from before swarm over to you both, faces pressed against the glass beneath you in wonder as they shout in excitement. One child even slips between the gap in Giyuu’s legs, head poking through the other side by his ankles for a better view. You notice immediately as Giyuu tenses at the obvious intrusion. His head minutely whips quickly from side to side, thinly masking a silent plea for help.

It took everything in you not to laugh as you back away from the glass and tug Giyuu by his sleeve away from his accidental captor, gently removing two little hands from his legs with an “excuse us” so he could make a break for it. The child seems unfazed as they move even closer to the stingray now skirting the glass. The second you were out of the pirate ship, you finally let your laughter free, bringing a hand up to cover your mouth as you let out little apologies between laughs.

“Sorry, I just–,” you start, letting out another giggle involuntarily. “That was sweet. Are you used to being around kids? Younger ones, I mean?”  

It takes him way too long to realize you just called that interaction sweet, and it takes you way too long to realize you might have just crossed some kind of unspoken workplace boundary.

“No,” he says quietly, clearing his throat. You offer an understanding “hmm,” in response, another small laugh escaping you.

“It definitely takes a while to get used to,” you comment, taking one last deep inhale to calm yourself. “Ready to keep going?”

it took a little bit for Giyuu to regain his composure following the embarrassing incident with the child

initially he thought were laughing at him, mocking him for his poor handling of the situation

it wouldn’t be the first time he was on the receiving end of something like that

but… then you said it was sweet. ??????

now, giyuu has been called cute before. being as handsome and aloof as he is, it kind of comes with the territory. that being said, he’s never really paid these comments any mind; the people they came from would soon find him disinteresting or unpalatable, opting to move onto someone hopefully more receptive to their advances

so normally he brushes it off and moves on. but coming from YOU? someone who at least kind of knows him, someone that has seen these parts of him already?

fills him with a feeling so foreign he can’t quite name it

and your laugh… he’s never heard you laugh like that before. it felt carefree, joyous. different from the polite laugh he’s heard you offer to coworkers in passing

and it’s at this moment he realizes he wants to hear you laugh like that again (preferably not at his own expense)

unfortunately this moment of realization is over almost as quickly as it began, fading as you both enter the next exhibit: sea turtles

he watches now as your eyes switch between the handful of sea turtles swimming about in their large tank, poking themselves up at brief intervals for air around the many rock structures in the water. the light is dim in the rest of the room, lit mostly by the tank itself

you make a comment about how big the turtles seem, but all he can do is silently agree as his eyes scan around the room over the other handfuls of people vacillating between areas

he notices two children from before barreling forward after one another down the hallway, lost in an intense game of tag

Blue eyes switch between your form and the approaching children. He instinctively reaches for the whistle that usually lives around his neck only to remember it was the weekend.

“Watch out,” he says to you instead, stepping towards the glass slightly himself. When he notices you seem lost in the view, he surprises himself by placing a hand on your shoulder, gently pulling you towards him.

At his touch, you seem to startle and look at him, finally noticing the rambunctious children zipping by. Your head shifts from Giyuu to look over your other shoulder, watching as the two continue on down the walkway.

“Thank you, sorry,” you laugh out softly in embarrassment, looking back to him as his hand retreats from your shoulder, wondering Why did he do that? “Guess I should be paying more attention.”

He quietly clears his throat, putting some distance back between you as he moves to examine the map he found earlier again.

“They shouldn’t be running,” he offers in response, inner-hard-ass peeking through on cue. “Where to next?”

He glances at you briefly when you don’t respond, handing you the map so you can see what’s up ahead. You thank him, taking the map in both hands as you try to get your bearings. With a furrowed brow you try to discern your current location – this is quite literally the least intuitive map you’ve ever seen. Maybe that’s why Giyuu spent so long looking at it earlier.

Sensing your confusion, he steps closer once again, left shoulder just barely brushing against you as he points to a spot on the map with his right hand. His fingers trace over two pathways, likely your next options for exhibits.

You see his lips moving, but his words are in one ear and out the other as you try not to think about how warm his hand felt earlier, or how his face seems so close to yours as he explains. And you are definitely trying hard not to notice how full his lashes are at this distance or the way his top lip dips into just the slightest cupid's bow that you really kind of want to–

You cut the thought off immediately. Thoughts about kissing a certain gym teacher during an aquarium visit are strictly forbidden from this point forward.

As you feel your face heat at the mere implication, you’re grateful for the blue-green glow of the aquarium hopefully obscuring your over-reaction to his simple gesture.

Clearing your throat, you notice him staring expectantly at you. Were his eyes always this pretty?

“Uh, t-this one looks fine,” you stutter out, cursing at your lack of composure as you point to one of the areas you vaguely think he referenced moments ago. His expression shifts the tiniest bit as his brow pulls down, seemingly in concern.

“Are you alright?” he asks, head tilting slightly to the right as he examines you. It makes your eyes go wide, heart hammering in your chest as you take a step back, suddenly overwhelmed by the proximity. The strained “mhm!” you respond with earns a brief look of subdued suspicion before he turns to lead the way.

you’re glad he turned when he did, allowing you save even a fraction of face

it wasn’t the first time he’s been physically close to you, but it was the first time you could see his face while doing so

usually it would just be him leaning over your shoulder to explain paperwork corrections, and while you may have been slightly flustered then, you were at least turned away

but this time… this time you were looking at him and he was looking at you and the confusion of suddenly wanting to feel his lips on yours mixed with the alarm you felt overtook you

and he said something about it

you find yourself wanting to bang your head into the nearest glass surface in sheer embarrassment

but if you thought he was quiet before, the next half hour is so excruciatingly silent that you start to worry

you receive no response to your utterings of wonder as you pass by different tanks, no “hmms” or nods

though he initially took the lead from the sea turtle exhibit, you’ve somehow ended up back in front. as you both slowly follow the crowd through the next few rooms of saltwater fish exhibits, he seems more intent on putting space between the two of you

the lofty silence gives you far too much time with your own thoughts. you begin to wonder if you’ve done something wrong, worried he’s not enjoying himself (you briefly wonder what it would look like if he was enjoying himself, but find yourself drawing a blank)

it wasn’t until you got to the jellyfish exhibit later that he seems to relax again

The large, cylindrical tank emits a comforting blue glow into the dark room as the two of you approach. Jellyfish dance in the center of the room, long tentacles moving in time as they swirl. Airy, ethereal music plays quietly from the speakers overhead.

A near-inaudible “wow” escapes you, subdued as if in fear of ruining the atmosphere. Your eyes are trained on the flowing tendrils of a particularly large jellyfish, its shades of red, orange and cream floating weightlessly in the water.

Giyuu approaches the tank from beside you in silence, but unlike in the sea turtle exhibit, he looks utterly entranced by the mysterious creatures before him. Sapphire eyes follow the symphony of movement, curious. His fingers trace the glass as one moves past, just beyond reach.

You find yourself unable to look away from his child-like gaze, suddenly enamored by the uncharacteristic innocence on display. It’s when his eyes meet your own that you realize you’re staring. You offer only a small smile in return, gesturing slightly to the wooden seats behind you.

“Wanna sit?” you whisper, waiting for his small nod in response before taking a seat on the right. He sits a little after you, enough room for another person between you. Time seems to move slower here. You’re not sure how long the two of you stay like that, caught in the semi-comfortable silence.

He seems much more at ease in this moment, hands folded neatly in his lap as he marvels at the sight. The stiffness in his shoulders has faded away, the harshness of his eyes tempered. Shadows from the soft light carve out his features, highlighting the outline of his brow to the sharpness of his jaw. He almost looks like a painting.

This is kind of… nice, you think to yourself. Maybe I was worried for nothing?

Several minutes pass in relative silence, but the entrance of a small gaggle of rowdy children eventually breaks the two of you from your reprieve, attention turning in tandem to watch three pairs of light-up tennis shoes stop directly in front of you. A weary mother emerges seconds later, apologizing for the intrusion and moving the children off to another side of the tank. Alas, it seems your time here is up.

“You ready?” you ask with a smile, eyebrows raised. He offers a nod again, this time with a small “hm” (progress!), moving to follow your almost hesitant steps back into the outside world.

once your tiny bubble was popped, giyuu is sent spiraling back into the reality he finds himself in

in the sea turtle exhibit, you seemed to react badly when he got close to you. you were stuttering, backing away from him, even. he wasn’t trying to pull anything–far from it, really– but it did kind of hurt

now was this misguided? most certainly. never once did it cross his mind that your reaction may have been because you enjoyed his closeness

but that didn’t stop him from trying to give you space so you didn’t have to be near him if you didn’t want to be

however

while he’s not the most astute observer when it comes to emotions, he did vaguely pick up on some of the dejected looks you were unknowingly sending his way  

and then he was even more confused because he was like?? is this not far enough??? do i have to go even farther???!? and then he’s kind of sad because he likes being near you :/

but then… he also saw saw the gentle smiles you gave him in the jellyfish exhibit, pretended not to notice your subtle glances towards him

and now, after the exhibit, you seem happier. what changed?

he’s still pretty confused but… at least you’re smiling again

the next few exhibits pass easily, him quietly agreeing with comments you make as you move forward

the flow of conversation seems to match what it was at the beginning of your visit, which is good, you think

after a brief interaction with the map again – which he just handed to you this time, not wanting to chance it – you two decided to circle back around to the other avenue you didn’t take from the turtle exhibit

a clownfish cave, stingray touch-tank (which was far too crowded and germ-ridden for either of your tastes – a fact you were briefly able to bond over) and seahorse exhibit later, the two of you are back where you ended previously outside the jellyfish

from this point it’s a one-way path through to the food court at the halfway-point in the aquarium

located between here and there, though, is a (frankly huge) walk-through aquarium tunnel

Giyuu has stopped trailing behind you at this point, more so walking beside you as you traverse the boundary between floor and glass. Your first step is cautious, almost weary that one more person in the tunnel would surely be the breaking point. But of course, the tunnel holds sturdy and you continue with slow steps into the fray of curious people.

“This is so cool,” you comment, looking to Giyuu excitedly before eyeing a large fish swimming past him. You swiftly cross behind him, taking a closer look at the sealife beyond the glass.

Small schools of fish skirt back and forth over the artificial sea floor, while larger fish varieties swim overhead, barely missing one another in their practiced movements. Crouching closer to the floor, you see a variety of starfish, coral and a pair of scuttling lobsters amid the seaweed, duking it out over something.

“Oh my gosh, they’re fighting! C’mere, they’re right here!” you say excitedly, waving Giyuu closer so he can see. He hesitantly shuffles towards the glass to your left, peering over you to view the crustaceans in question. They were indeed fighting, it seemed, as each male used its dominant  claw to smite the other. You tear your eyes away from the scene as if to make sure he’s watching, the wide smile on your face followed by a laugh.

“What do you think they’re fighting over?” you question, eyes scanning the terrain. The lobsters bobbed towards one another repeatedly, the larger of the two moving to strike shallow blows on the smaller.

“... Food?” Giyuu reasons after a few moments, uncertain if you were actually looking for an answer.

“Hmm, maybe,” you respond, nodding your head as you consider the possibility. “Who do you think’ll win?”

Your enthusiasm in eliciting responses from him is something he’s not used to–at all–but strangely enough, he doesn’t mind. The excitement in your eyes makes him nervous, though. 

“... The bigger one, probably,” he answers practically, standing to his full height again.

“Mm, makes sense,” you surmise, pupils still fixated on the dueling opponents. His eyes are drawn to your expressions as you observe the two, watching as the laugh tumbles from your lips following a particularly silly looking move from the smaller lobster. He quickly averts his gaze as you stand again.

He steps back once more towards the center of the tunnel, looking overhead. A strange peace settles over him as he watches the fish swim by, the rippling water above them creating a kaleidoscope of light on the glass below. A chorus of “oohs” and “aahs” overtakes the other visitors as a shark passes over, its presence making waves among the other sealife fleeing from its path. A brief silence passes between the two of you.

“Have you ever seen ‘The Meg’?” you suddenly ask, eyes trailing after the shark. His expression switches minutely to confusion.

“No,” he responds, not sure of what you’re talking about. Evidently you take this as permission to explain.

“Well, it’s this movie about a huge prehistoric shark terrorizing people. There’s this one part where it bites a glass tunnel while a kid is inside and leaves these giant teeth marks,” you describe, gaze finally landing on him as the shark exits your view.

The look you’re met with makes you giggle, the ever-so-slight unease in his expression seeming out of place.

“Don’t worry, it’s not real,” you respond with a laugh, patting him lightly on his shoulder in reassurance. “Well, the shark was real, but that was a long time ago.”

He only looks slightly comforted at the new information as you walk ahead a bit, dodging kids and other visitors. You miss the slight widening of his eyes at your casual touch before he’s following behind you again.

you?? touched??? him?????

he tries really hard not to think about it. tries and fails

… do you not mind if he’s close to you? you also called him over just before to show him the lobsters. and you were excited

maybe not for him, but excited nonetheless

here are his thoughts on the matter: you speak to him kindly and your touch is gentle. it’s nice and makes him feel warm inside

and he decides right now that so long as he can remain close to you, he will be content

he doesn’t know what it means, but… he he thinks he likes it

so as far as you know, your time in the tunnel continues rather uneventfully and it isn’t long until you’re exiting the other side into the food court

during which, he is internally reeling but enjoying himself nonetheless

neither of which you would know by looking at him

The two of you are led to a large, oval room with high rafters and skylights. Some areas take on a more tropical theme with cartoon fish and 3D waves poking out of the walls, while others are more riparian, fake varieties of lush vegetation climbing up pillars with cartoon frogs and lizards dotting the way.

You ponder over the options for lunch in front of you, most of which have several people waiting in queues to order. A large food court sits across from the vendors filled with families, couples and school kids alike, conversations melding together to form one giant mass of voices.

“Wanna get something to eat?” you ask over the noise, looking to him for an answer.

He nods, surveying the lines for food. You agree to separate and meet back up after you’ve got your trays.

Wandering for a bit, you eventually settle on a place called “Sukiya” and order Gyudon, a fatty beef and rice dish. Simple, but filling enough, you think. You are only halfway through the aquarium, after all.  

As you wait in line, you mill over the crowd once more, watching as toddlers make messes of themselves and friends laugh with one another. You find yourself eventually searching for your coworker amongst the crowd, using black clothing items to narrow down the search.

You’re about to give up when you suddenly catch sight of his raven hair. He’s scrolling through his phone while he waits in the line for a seafood place, black jacket tucked into the crook of his arm. The white shirt he’s wearing underneath reveals a closer look at his physique, the toned muscles of his arm tensing as he readjusts his posture.

Have I never seen him with his jacket off?

Thinking back through your interactions, you’re not sure you have. Maybe in the mornings occasionally, but usually you’re too busy rushing to your classroom to notice. As he shuffles ahead with the rest of the line, his side profile becomes more visible. It’s suddenly feeling a little stuffy in here. Much to your chagrin, you’re left with one very damning thought.

Has he always been this... hot?

Eyes wide and face growing warm, you don’t let your eyes linger too long on him in fear of somehow making eye contact across an entire food court. If someone could look inside your brain right now, they’d see the blaring alarms, red flashing lights and frenzied shouts of panic instructing Operation: Get The Hots For Your Coworker be terminated immediately. Luckily, you’re the only one privy to those thoughts. You inhale deeply, hoping to calm the wave of sudden anxiety in your chest.

Way to pick the worst possible time to come to this realization.

As you turn back to your own line, you realize you’re up next to pay. After inserting your card, you grab the small tray with your meal and turn back to face the crowd. Looking back to your cohort, you notice he’s still in line, nearing the front. You gather the resolve to search for a table, efforts fruitless as you wind through the seating area. Finally, you notice one table off in the back opening up.

The table-for-two makes for close quarters, but it will have to do. You set your tray down on the far side before noticing a trail of crumbs and leftover rice on the table. Taking a napkin from your tray, you unfold it and wipe what would be Giyuu’s area and seat before doing the same to your own. Crumpling the napkin up, you set it on the side of your tray before brushing your hands off. When you turn around, Giyuu is standing a few feet away with his own tray of food.

How long has he been standing there?

“H-hey!” you greet, standing to your full height as he approaches. “Uh, I’m gonna go wash my hands, I’ll be right back!”

You don’t wait for his response before b-lining it to the nearest restroom. You spend what one would call a reasonable amount of time in a stall, convincing yourself that even if he is hot, it’s fine and you shouldn’t make it weird. Really, it’s fine. Everything’s fine.

It was not fine. But you had already spent too long in the bathroom to just be washing your hands, and you were certain he was wondering where you were. A few more deep breaths later, you step out of the stall, wash your hands and make your way back to the table. His jacket is hanging from the back of his chair, once again showing off his white shirt and lower forearms.

Just act normal.

Giyuu looks up from his food as you approach, chewing and swallowing the bite in his mouth before putting a napkin to his lips. You smile and let out a “hey” again as you slide into your seat, setting your bag down to pull your chopsticks from their paper sheath. Removing the small lid from your bowl, you eagerly eye the tender beef slices still slightly steaming in place.

“Oooh, this looks good! “ you comment, whether to you or him is unclear. “What did you get?”

Perhaps your question caught him off guard as his eyes widened the smallest bit, body stilling at the sudden attention. He looks down to his food and then back up to you before responding.

“It’s, uh… daikon and salmon,” he states plainly, sitting a little straighter.

“Nice!” you reply, carefully taking your first bite into your mouth. The meat is beautifully cooked, the flavors subtle but just right. A small “mm” escapes you as you finish the bite. He takes this as his cue to go back to eating, his quiet demeanor seemingly content. After a minute or two, he takes a small break to sip from his glass.

“How is it? D’you like it?” you ask innocently, chopsticks paused as you await his response. He offers a small “mhm” in return as he puts his glass down.

“...How is yours?” he asks after a few beats of silence. You smile at him again.

“It’s really good, do you want to try it? Here–” you begin to search through your meat for the juiciest looking one, picking it up between chopsticks and moving to place it in his bowl before pausing. He grows still as he watches you. “Wait, are you allergic to anything?”

He’s back to that minutely-wide-eyed stare as he processes your question, shaking his head no after a moment.

“Okay, cool,” you say as you place the meat gently into an empty part of his bowl. You go back to eating, not wanting to put pressure on him. After he carefully maneuvers the strip into his mouth and chews, you pipe back up.

“Good?” you ask, patiently awaiting his reaction.

The dip of his head up and down while he swallows is enough to tell he enjoyed it.

“Good,” you say with a small laugh, returning to your own bowl. A minute or two later, you just barely catch him reaching across to your plate while you take a drink.

?!?!

Your eyes widen in shock and you lower your cup, setting it to the side gingerly to see what he did. Much to your surprise, on the left side of your bowl is now a piece of salmon with daikon.

How was he so fast??

And is he giving this to you?

“For me? Are you sure?” you ask, surprised and also concerned you may have guilted him into returning the gesture. He looks to you, answering with a simple nod in confirmation before finishing off the last few bites of his food.

“Ah, okay! Thank you!” you say as you pick up the bite of simmered salmon between your chopsticks. Popping it into your mouth, you’re pleasantly surprised at the quality and mix of flavors. Giyuu’s eyes are watching you expectantly as you chew, and you try desperately to control any form of heat rising to your face at the attention. 

“That’s really good!” you assure him with a smile, bringing up a hand to cover your mouth as you finish swallowing. He seems to relax slightly at your response with just the smallest smile on his lips.

The smile fades as quickly as it appeared as he wipes his mouth a final time with a napkin before laying it beside his now-empty bowl. You finish the last few bites of your own food in silence before following his lead.

“Are you finished?” he asks, hands gripping the side of his tray. When you say yes, he stands, moving to stack your tray, bowl and glass with his.

“Oh, that’s okay, I can do that,” you interject, hand reaching out to take it from him.

“I’ve got it,” he responds, almost gently, as he straightens and heads to the nearest dish drop-off. Watching him go, you notice the white shirt again. Looking down, you realize he forgot his jacket on the back of the chair. You grab it along with your bag and meet him outside the seating area.

“Here,” you offer, handing it over to him as you approach. Seeming a little surprised again, he takes it from you with a small “thank you” before shrugging it back on.

Welp. There goes the gun show.

You ignore your decidedly unhelpful thoughts as you peer around the room, trying to locate the exit.

“Uh…I think it’s this way?” you ask, gesturing forward and to the left toward an arched hallway bathed in green.

And with yet another small “mhm” and a nod from him, you’re off to your next stop.

Giyuu follows dutifully behind you, his face not betraying the cacophony of confusing thoughts swimming in his head

he was definitely caught off guard when you offered him a bite of your meal, but the fact you were thinking of him did make him feel happy

he was too shy to immediately give you some of his in return, but had been saving the best bite for last anyway. and he was also happy you liked it :)

he for sure thinks he would like to go eat with you again sometime if he gets the chance. it was comfortable, and he enjoyed your reactions

Maybe you could… eat lunch together someday?

But like so many facets of his life, his self restraint is ever-present here. He will refrain from “selfishness,” cherishing the experience without asking anything more from you

A winding and counterintuitive path to building intimacy if ever there were one, but he knew no better than you the feelings threatening the rock-solid walls he’s built between himself and others

But little moments like this – eating together in the food court, walking through the exhibits, making idle conversation – they are all small glimpses into something he craves so badly but lacks the words to express

Even so, he trails behind you in quiet contentment as you navigate the Mangrove and Rainforest exhibits, pointing excitedly to the various reptiles, birds or small mammals in their enclosures

As you’re reading the species description for a particularly cute snake, he takes a look ahead to see what exhibit is up next

He scans the horrendously designed map, deciphering the key as he mindlessly follows in your footsteps toward several frog varieties 

Eventually, he locates the rainforest exhibit, and looking ahead sees a rock pool with presumably more touch tanks–hard pass– and a theater

But just a step beyond that was the outdoor arena, where little cartoon dolphins and seals swam on the page

Dolphins… you liked those, right?

“(Y/N),” he calls quietly, catching your attention. You look up from the poison dart frogs with a “hm?” to see him pointing at something on the map held out to you.

“Did you want to see the water show? It should be starting soon,” he asks, finger hovering over a box reading “Stage Times.” According to the map, there was one more show today, starting in about ten minutes.

“Oh yeah! That might be fun, what do you think?” you ask nonchalantly as if you weren’t ready to break into a full sprint to make it to the arena in time.

Despite your attempt to play it cool, the sparkle in your eyes was not missed by Giyuu.

He nods once, excitement met with quiet determination. Before you know it, you’re speedwalking through the crowds of parents and children, sidestepping strollers and screaming toddlers as you make sure Giyuu is keeping up.

Before long, bright blue gates for the outdoor arena come into sight, and you let out a triumphant laugh.

“We made it!!” you say, turning too Giyuu with a wide grin. You look more excited than he’s ever seen you, and he gestures for you to move up in line as the family in front of you gains entry.

“For two?” the attendant asks, stamp at the ready. You nod eagerly, extending your arm to receive a dark blue wave on the back of your hand. Giyuu does the same, his usual deadpan stare silently watching as the dark ink stains his skin.

After gaining entry, you pass through a tall blue arch, the smell of saltwater washing over you. An expansive pool of water greets you as you walk in, spanning the edge of the outdoor arena. Looking around, you see several rows of bleachers under orange sun shades, filled to the brim with children just as excited as you.

You scope out the remaining seats, and Giyuu lets you take the lead as you choose an open spot on the second row, off to the left. You smile politely at the family behind you as you take your seats, and there’s hardly even time to settle in before the announcer comes on the loudspeaker, welcoming aquarium-goers and highlighting rules of the arena.

Soon after, a cheery voice comes over the speaker, this time from the aquarium employee running the show about 15 feet from the bleachers. She’s small in stature, dark hair pulled up in a ponytail sticking out the back of her visor.

“Hello everyone! My name is Asa, and I’ll be introducing you to some of our sea friends today!” said the speaker, her overly-excited voice rousing cheers from the children surrounding you.

You watched in glee as a line of three seals plopped up on the platform behind her, each introduced with a name and trick. You giggled along with the children as the seals waddled, barked and rolled. Eventually, the seals returned to the water, showing off swimming formations, speed and everything else such cute little creatures were capable of.

Before long, the seals had to say their goodbyes, sliding into the water with a chorus of disappointed children waving them off. But just beneath the water you could see shadows moving, your anticipation building– and just like that, it burst, with two striped dolphins leaping from beneath the still surface to say hello.

You cheered along with the children as the dolphins splashed back into the water, growing ever-closer to the bleachers with each expert movement. The dolphins swam circles around each other in the center of the arena before swimming up to the aquarium worker’s platform.

An awed smile overtook your features as the top of the dolphin’s heads popped up above the water while they were introduced, Iru and Kai. Each had two striking black lines down their sides, but Iru, the larger of the two, had a large scar over the left side of its forehead down to its beak.

“Iru here was rescued after being hurt in the wild two years ago, and she’s been with us ever since,” Asa explained, leaning down to pet her darker beak. She nudged upward toward Asa’s hand, relishing in her touch from above. “Kai was actually born at the aquarium a year and a half ago, but his baby fin here makes it hard for him to survive in the wild.”

On cue, Kai flipped to his side, showing his stunted right fin. Your heart sank a little at the thought of their pain, saddened gaze looking to Giyuu to gauge his reaction. While his attention stayed glued on the dolphins, he nodded forward to point your attention back to the front as Asa perked up and the dolphins did a spin.

“But we’re so happy to have them here with us now! Iru and Kai, why don’t you show everyone some of your favorite tricks!” Asa stood, gestures prompting each of the dolphins to swim off to the left and right for their first set of tricks.

The tricks started simple enough, leaps into the air or through hoops, but soon divers were introduced and began showing off just how much skill and intelligence Iru and Kai held.

Time passed quicker than you would have liked. The next twenty minutes of feats from the wonders of nature before you were quickly coming to a close, and you felt like it had only begun.

”Alright Iru and Kai, come on back!” Asa called, the dolphins listening in kind. The two swam right back up to the platform, ready to say their farewells.

“We had so much fun with all of you today, but Iru and Kai have to say bye now,” Asa says, sadness clearly in her voice. “Before we do that though, we have one last trick to show you!”

On cue, Iru swam off to the left by your spot in the bleachers and Kai to the right, each popping up behind the fenced area at the front. You grinned widely at the sight of Iru up close, wondering at her beauty.

“Alright, say bye-bye!” Asa shouted.

The next few moments moved in slow motion, and it was only then, as the dolphins whipped around to the side to send a tidal wave to the audience, that you noticed the glaring “SPLASH ZONE” sign plastered on the seat and wall in front of you. Maybe there was a reason these seats were empty. 

Delight shifted to fear and surprise as the water grew nearer, impending doom mere milliseconds from impact. You brought your arms to haphazardly shield your face, a shout of surprise escaping you and several of the audience members near you. Just beyond the approaching curtain of water were spray fountains from the front of the arena, shooting wildly out into the audience. Giyuu’s right arm extended in front of you in a vain attempt to shield you.

But no such luck. In less than a second, you were soaked from head to toe, sputtering as the sea water assaulted your senses.

Looking to Giyuu, you saw his hair was soggy, sticking to his face on the sides as water dripped down. As stunning as he looked dripping wet, he was in shock–a look you’ve never seen on him– and all you could do was laugh at the absurdity.

Loud guffaws escaped you as you grabbed onto Giyuu’s sleeve in front of you to steady yourself, his confused eyes meeting your joyous ones. You stayed like that for a few moments, wiping tears of laughter from your eyes as Asa bid her goodbyes to the crowd.

Your grip on his jacket loosened, replaced with two quick pats.

“Oh man, that was good,” you relent breathlessly, still giggling to yourself.

“Are you alright?” he asked in that flat tone of his, but amusement lie somewhere in his eyes. You laughed again, reassuring him as he slowly pulled his arm back to himself.

“Yeah! Just a little wet,” you snicker, wiping some of the excess water from your face. “What about you?”

He nods, mirroring your actions and sliding a few fingers through his bangs to get the wet strands out of his face. Had you been a lesser man, you would have died on the spot.

Instead you clear your throat, averting your eyes as he stands, flicking water from his jacket before handing it to you. Pointedly ignoring the taper of his waist beneath his black joggers, you reach tentatively to take it, confusion etched on your features.

“Oh, do you need me to hold it?” you ask, grasping the fabric between your fingers.

“No, you should…” He averts his eyes from you, the smallest of rosy hues appearing on his cheeks as he clears his throat. “Cover up with this.”

You look down and have the startling realization that the thin fabric of your light-colored shirt has soaked through as well, showing off everything underneath.

You could die right now. Really, you could. But instead you choose to quietly mutter an expletive, thank Giyuu for his jacket and slip it on, zipping up the front.

Dignity slightly restored but pride absolutely shattered, you turn to him.

“So, um… gift shop?” you ask, still buried beneath approximately 15 levels of shame and embarrassment. He nods, gesturing for you to lead the way, and you take the five minute walk to regain any remaining composure you can.

the next several minutes are spent in an extremely awkward silence as you look throughout the various trinkets, t-shirts and keychains

though the air inside is a bit chilly, you’re thankfully kept pretty warm by giyuu’s jacket

speaking of which, he can hardly look at you right now because of a) what happened earlier and b) the sight of you in his jacket. So he is just… trailing behind you as you shop

you excuse yourself to the restroom for a chance to get a good look at yourself, but on the way in, spot a screen with several photos on display

amid a variety of blue and orange displays are photos from the outdoor arena, capturing in full color the delight of children and parents alike

and off to the far right was a photo of you and giyuu a half second before the water hit, a sharp look of panic across his face as his arm was shooting out in front of you. next to him, you look as if you’ve seen a ghost, arms halfway shielding your face in preparation

as the photos scroll through, though, there is a second taken just a few seconds later

it’s perfect, you think

Giyuu is idly standing near the front of the store, having had more than enough time to look around in your absence. As you approach him, he notices you have on a new baby-blue crew neck shirt you picked up from the store, your previous one from before shoved haphazardly in the giftshop bag.

“Hey! Sorry for the wait,” you greet, looking far more refreshed after your visit to the restroom. “Ready to head out?”

He nods simply, choosing to walk alongside you toward the exit. Groups of parents and children move en masse toward the turnstiles, forming lines at the front. You both wait patiently in a surprisingly comfortable silence, the excitement of the day finally wearing on you.

After making it past the entry barriers and onto the sidewalk near the road, he realizes this is where you part ways. You pause in your stride, turning to him.

“Here’s your jacket back, sorry about that,” you say, extending it toward him. He takes it from you gently, tucking it over his arm.

“You have nothing to apologize for,” he states matter-of-factly, but there is a certain gentleness to his tone this time, a quietness in his voice.  

A silence settles between the two of you as he contemplates how to say goodbye.

“By the way, I um…” you fumble your words as you reach into your bag, extending two small trinkets on your palm toward him. “Do you want one of these? They were making them inside.”

His brow furrows just slightly as he angles his head to look at the objects in your hand. On the right is a small photo of the two of you during the outdoor arena show, taken just after the water had splashed into the crowd. Your face is alight with laughter, and to your side, Giyuu dons a look he doesn’t quite recognize on himself. Something soft, almost, as he sees the pure joy radiating off of you, your hand clinging to his arm as delight and surprise overtake you.

Attached to the light blue frame is what appears to be a small plastic figure of Iru, the dolphin from the show. The larger and older of the two, if he remembers right. On the other keychain is the same photo framed in darker blue with a small figure of Kai, the other striped dolphin.

Did you… pick these out?

He stays quiet as he observes the small trinkets in your palm. As is so often the case, you mistake his silence for rejection, quick to backtrack.

“It’s okay if you don’t want it! I just thought they were fun,” you are quick to explain, still unsure of his reaction.

Eventually, he reaches forward, gingerly picking up the darker blue one with the Kai charm. The brief graze of his fingers on your palm sends a shiver through you as he looks thoughtfully at the keychain.

“Thank you. It’s… nice,” he says after a pause, pocketing the item in his black track pants.

“It’s no problem,” you reassure. “Thanks for, uh, hanging out today. I had a great time, all… mishaps considered.”

You huff a laugh at your own expense, knowing so badly what you want to say next but still building up the courage.

“I appreciate the invi–” “Anyway, let me know if you–”

You both pause mid-sentence, looking at each other in embarrassment at the misstep.

“You go ahead,” you say, gesturing to him.

“No, you,” he insists, shaking his head.

“Well, um, I was just going to say let me know if you want to do this again sometime or something.”

“Won’t we be coming back here with the other teachers?” he asks, clearly missing the point.

“Well, uh, I mean… it doesn’t have to be the aquarium,” you laugh nervously out of reflex, suddenly wishing you could crawl into a hole forever. “But anyway, yeah. No pressure, I just had fun and wouldn’t mind… Um. Yeah.”

Your hands gesture in the air aimlessly as you flounder. You have to pat yourself on the back for putting together probably the least helpful response known to man. Really, good work. Absolutely indecipherable.

In your sudden embarrassment, you don’t realize as Giyuu’s eyes widen just a fraction, taking in your words. 

“I… enjoyed today,” he offers after a brief and unbearably awkward silence, sounding as if he’s still processing the day himself. “We can do it again. If you want.”  

You feel your heartbeat quicken at his choppy sentiment, heart thrumming happily in your chest. The grin you send him leaves him in a similar state.

His fingers trace over the smooth plastic of the frame in his pocket as you say your goodbyes, his steps unusually slow as he watches you disappear around a corner to the nearest subway station.

Once you’re out of sight, he fishes the keychain from his pocket, swiftly affixing it to the rest of his keys before setting off on his own way home with your kind words echoing in his head. The sunset hues peeking through his bedroom window seem strangely more picturesque as he settles on the edge of his bed after returning home, thumb brushing carefully over the plastic frame of the keychain.

Much of his life has been spent watching others through the hardy walls of his own glass enclosure, witnessing as they navigate life and love and everything else. And as hard as he has tried, slamming fists and feet against the barrier, the walls have yet to give, leaving him hopeless in his efforts to reach and be reached.

But this difference between himself and others is not something he has yet come to terms with. Denial is a far easier pill to swallow. Even so, you make him feel as if the ocean between himself and others is not quite so vast–like the glass isn’t quite as thick as he was led to believe. 

Today was his first spark of hope in a long time that maybe there is more to life than his own self-imposed solitude. 

That is not to say he understands, and he will not for many months to come, exactly why you inspire such feelings of hope and longing within him–but it is not unwelcome. Not by a longshot.

a/n: hi!! this is so long. and i have no excuse for why i haven’t posted on this blog in ages. but i hope you like it!! it’s been in my drafts for so long mostly done and i finally got the urge to finish it 

[sovengardeswag]

The Pines Files

After the events of Weirdmaggeddon, Dipper and Mabel are contacted by the SCP foundation and join the ranks. The adventure never ended, it just took a different turn. And now, years later, they're back to Gravity Falls, aka SCP-████. And it is up to them to investigate the ever-growing mystery behind the town and protect the most dangerous and important SCPs there are and face their past.

Chapter 3: Business as Usual

Dinner had not been the awkward, miserable, and accusatory event that Dipper’s anxiety had convinced him it would be. In fact, it was downright pleasant. The places to eat in Gravity Falls weren’t exactly endless, even with expansion, but the town certainly had new places at least, including a Cheesecake Warehouse. The tacky Greco-Roman-Egyptian-80’s ostentatiousness of the place was almost a comfort after the last five years of his dingy [redacted] apartment or the site-19 cafeteria. He took a breath of the restaurant air and went up to the hostess, quickly tucking in his dress-shirt when he noticed it was displaced. “Uh, hi, I’m here to meet up with a party of 4. It would be under the name Pines?”

The young woman looked up from her computer then, asking Dipper, “For 6 o’clock, right?”

“Yeah, that’s right.”

“Right this way, sir,” She led Dipper to where Mabel and his grunkles were waiting, Mabel’s charm bracelet jingling as she waved to him, “Dipper! You made it!”

“Course I did! I’m not a flake.” Dipper sat down, taking a menu from the hostess and flipping through the unreasonable number of pages. “Did you guys order yet?”

“Nah, we just got here,” said Stan.

“That’s good. I got kind of turned around on the way here, it’s been a while, ya know?”

“No need to apologize, Stanley and I almost got lost as well. It didn’t help that he tried to find us a shortcut.”

“I’m telling you, Sixer, it would have worked if someone hadn’t started building a bunch of traffic lanes there.

Dipper couldn’t help but laugh a little, it seemed nothing changed with these two. “Was the construction near the lake?”

“Yeah, it was, something about making it easier to go there or something.”

“Speaking of water,” Mabel added, grabbing a piece of pumpernickel from the basket. “How was this year’s trip? I wanna hear everything! How was Armand? Was it the tearful, historical romance style reunion I’m thinking of?”

“Actually, Stanley almost rammed us into a rocky island off the coast of California.”

“Oh, come on, I said I was sorry!”

“It’s not judgment, Stanley, no one can resist a siren song and Armand had everyone stop when he realized it was me.”

“Made them stop? Is he their king or something?” Dipper asked out of curiosity.

Ford clarified, “No, not a king. Sirens operate as fully autonomous anarcho-communes-”

Stan then interjected, “Basically, they’re hippies and it was his ex’s turn with the conch.”

“Well, I think it’s romantic that he recognized you after all this ti- Dipper are you seriously taking notes?”

“No," Dipper lied, quickly putting his pen and notepad back in his pocket. Stan laughed at his embarrassment before he admitted, "Sorry, it’s kind of hard to turn off the whole, ‘take notes on everything and anything weird,’ mentality.”

“Nah kid, it’s fine, you’ve been doing this as long as I’ve known you. Of course, you’re gonna take notes on mermaids.”

“Sirens, Stanley.”

“He gets my point.”

Dipper took his notepad and pen back out of his pocket, clicking the pen before asking, “Can you tell me about the anarcho-communes? Is that universal among sirens or just Armand’s community?”

“Is everyone ready to order?” Interrupted the waiter right on time.

Dipper set his notepad aside, quickly looking over the drinks menu, “Uh, yeah, I’ll have the,” he squinted, “the super-skinny-you’ll-forget-you-had-kids margarita?”

“And I’ll have a pitt-cola please,” added Mabel.

“And two beers for us,” Ford finished off, the waiter nodding and leaving.

“Still not drinking, Pumpkin?”

“Yeah, absolutely not. Besides, someone’s gotta be the designated driver around here.”

“You got me there.”

And just like that, things were almost, well, normal. To say he felt 12 again would be a lie but what it did remind Dipper of was being 17 and about to go off to college, like this kind of thing would last forever, even if his knees hurt sometimes now. He enjoyed his oversized meal and was just allowed to feel happy. He didn’t even mention work, it came up when Ford mentioned it. “By the way, Dipper, are you going to be working with Dr. Clef?”

“I don’t know, why?”

“Oh, no reason. I just met him a few times when he worked for the GOC. He would have been very young at the time, I’m not sure if he would remember me.”

“I’ll say hi if I see him.”

Mabel butted in then, saying, “And if Dipper doesn’t see him but I do, I’ll say it.”

~

The next morning, Mason headed straight to work. It was almost surprising how quickly he adjusted back to routine. When he arrived at the staff room to await his assignment, he even found that he was early, knowing the town like the back of his hand, minus that little hiccup from yesterday. With people mostly just milling around the staffroom and not sure what else to do until assignments were handed out, he scrolled through his phone, checking the comments on his neglected YouTube channel. He almost didn’t notice that someone said something to him. “Oh, sorry, what was that?”

The person who spoke to him was a woman of about 25. “I asked if you’re a local,” she said.

“Uh, no, not really, I’m from California. I used to spend summers here though. Why?”

“Oh, you just seemed like you were,” she clarified. “I’m new and almost got lost on the way here. I should have expected it but this town’s layout is kind of weird.”

“Eh, you’ll get used to it. To tell you the truth, this is my first day at this facility. I was transferred from site-19, so we’re both having a first day.”

“Wow, really? I wish my first assignment was there. I read through some of the containment procedures, it seems like some of the objects there would be amazing to work with."

“Some of them can be. Others are just awful. They can’t all be coffee machines that give you dragon’s blood.”

“True, but still- “

It was then that attention was called to the front of the staff room by a member of HR, “Alright everyone, eyes up here! Since everyone’s new here, I’ll speak nice and clear, but I’ll only call your name and department once. If you miss me, check your employee portal within the next 15 minutes. If you mess that up, then I don’t know what to tell you. Get a job somewhere else. Preferably someplace you don’t have to pay attention.” And just like that, he started, “Anderson, Gnome Relations.”

Mason made a face at the harshness of it all. It wasn’t like they were D-class who couldn’t be trusted. But as soon as the thought crossed his mind, the image of the D-class choking on his own blood forced itself forward, and he got a sinking feeling in his stomach. He put his phone back in his pocket and just stood there, waiting with his own thoughts. Then, he was called, “Pines, Special Projects!”

Now, that got Mason’s attention. He knew that there was some sort of project here being worked on, as the woman he had been speaking to had been called to special projects too, but he hadn’t been told about anything specific he was working on. Only that he was now a general researcher. Either way, he went up to the HR rep and grabbed his assignment sheet. There it was, clear as day, special project headed by Dr. Jack Bright. Lab number 586. But he still wondered what this project was about. With there being only one way to find out, he headed to lab 586 as fast as he could.

When he arrived, he found that he was the last one there. He also noticed that, with the exception of a dark-haired man wearing an amulet, he had seen everyone else in the staff room, but it was only the young woman who had talked to him.

It was Dr. Bright, for who else would be wearing that amulet, who greeted him first. “Ah, there’s the man of the hour. It’s good to meet you, Dr. Pines.” He shook Mason’s hand.

Dr. Bright then looked to the other researchers, “Ok, now that everyone’s here, let’s establish our specialties.”

Mason looked to the other researchers, two women, and one man. The middle-aged woman spoke first, “Lucia Gonzalez, specialist in magical barriers.”

The man spoke next, “Peter Cheng, cryptozoologist.”

And lastly, “Katie Benson, forcefield engineer.”

And Mason finally added, “Mason Pines, specialty in general anomalies.”

Dr. Bright corrected him, “Actually, that’s not why you’re here.”

“Huh?”

“You’re here because you’re our leading most expert in SCP-[REDACTED].”

“Wait, really?”

Bright nodded, “Of course. None of the other researchers here are locals and everyone who was there during; what’d you call it in your research? Weirdmaggedon? Transferred out, retired, or quit. So that leaves you.”

“Oh, huh.” Mason had a realization about their group. A cryptozoologist, an engineer, and a specialist in magical barriers. “I’m guessing our work has to do with the containment barrier.”

“Exactly!” Bright then addressed the team as a whole. “Ladies and gentleman, we are trying to replicate the barrier that prevents escape from this site. This will make containment breaches a nigh impossibility.”

While Dr. Gonzalez and Dr. Chen looked impressed and Katie looked like she’d been told she was going to be crowned queen of the elves and worshipped for all her days, Mason had a question. “Um, Dr. Bright, not to be rude or anything but I already see a problem. The barrier isn’t exactly picky. If we make one, anomalous staff won’t be able to leave the site.”

“And that’s why this is a research project and not a building project. Part of our job here is figuring out how to make it selective. Good thinking though.”

Mason could certainly understand that. Magic barriers like the one around Gravity Falls were feasible, if finicky, and forcefields were practically child’s play in this line of work. A selective magical barrier that could be activated at any site? That would be quite a feat. And it seemed his colleagues agreed, as Katie piped up, “Where do we start?”

“We need to review literature and footage first. I have the physical files over there,” he pointed to a box on one of the tables, “and video footage should have been sent to your secure portal by now. Don’t hesitate to tell me if we need anything else.”

Mason headed straight to the case files, taking out the first one he saw. He knew that coming to Gravity Falls would be the change of pace he needed. And would you look at that, the first file was labeled June 1st, 2012.

It was an incident in which a gnome seemingly attempted to build a tunnel under the town in order to leave for some unknown purpose. Apparently, the little guy tried for days before giving up. If he had to guess from the timeline though, he was probably heading out to look for a queen. Mason called out to Dr. Bright, who was looking over footage on his laptop and taking notes, “Hey, is there any way for me to edit these incident reports?”

Dr. Bright paused his video and told him, “You’re gonna have to put in a request in the foundation portal. But some of these aren’t on the staff wiki so you’ll have to retype them.”

“Damn,” he wrote down what he knew in his notes instead. He’d have to make that request later. But this report at least told him something. The barrier went below the town. “Do we know how deep the barrier goes?”

Dr. Hernandez looked up from her own file, “What do you mean deep?”

“A gnome tried to get out in the early 2010s by tunneling but couldn’t. File says he tried to use a drill made out of sticks, acorn bits, and unicorn horn shed. Obviously, it didn’t work but it means the barrier extends underground.”

Katie looked up, questioning, “Wait, acorn bits?”

She went unaddressed as Dipper went on to say, “The question is though, how far down does it go? And is there a floor like a fish tank?”

“Shit, you’re right,” Bright stopped watching his video entirely and went to the files, sorting through them, “Everyone, look through the files about the amber dinosaurs. It could be that the floor could be down the mineshaft.”

Dr. Chen began furiously typing at his laptop then, knowing exactly which file to access. “Hold on, I’ve got it. It’s under SCP-[REDACTED]-118. The mine goes to 1500 meters and there has never been digging from anomalies at the maximum depth, but that could be due to a lack of food.

Katie then pointed out, “Shouldn’t we start with the ship? I mean, it might be the source of the barrier, so it makes the most sense to start checking there.”

“That’s a good point. So that gives us two options for the initial study. Either we can go to the crash site or we can go see the bottom of the mineshaft.”

“Why not both,” asked Mason. “I mean, even if we can find a definitive answer at only one site, it can be worth checking to see the limits of the barrier at two different points.”

“Well, that settles it then. We’ve got some field trips to plan. I say we start with the crash site, rule out that possibility and maybe see if we can find any working equipment, especially anything that might be generating a barrier. Then we can test the mineshaft.”

Barely an hour in and Mason had already arranged two fieldtrips for this little project. As he smiled to himself, he thought that he was in for a good time.

~

Agent Mabel Pines was not having a good time. She was almost late to her shift after Baby escaped her house and had to be wrangled back inside. Then she was late when someone’s tractor got stuck in the middle of the road. On top of that, today was supposed to be boring. As a member of MTF team Mu-Alpha-Epsilon, which specialized in the maintenance of magical creatures, one would think Mabel would be spending all her time wrangling something but alas, that was not the case. Today was contraband day, meaning she would have to go through boxes and boxes of gnome hats and goblin claws and all manner of magical body parts both antique and contemporary. Check if it was the real thing or a forgery and report accordingly for further action. And she was supposed to do that all day. As she ran into the contraband room, wearing a sparkly blue sweater over a white work blouse and a black pencil skirt, she looked around to make sure no one noticed her lateness. Luckily, no one did so she set to it, looking through the closest box. Unicorn horns. Great.

Unicorn horns were always a huge pain in the ass. Their similarity to narwhal tusks made them hard to check visually. They weren’t allowed to bring headphones into the contraband room, so that made audio inspection a tedious option, especially since they had to be careful to not damage the horns. She already felt like she was developing brain fog. And then her superior walked over, and she sighed. “Look, Reg, I’m sorry for being late, it won’t happen again.”

“Actually, I didn’t notice you were late,” said Reg. “You’re needed in the field today. Dr. Clef wants your expertise for a project in the unicorn grove.”

Expertise? Mabel had never heard it called that before. However, any excuse was a good excuse to avoid contraband day. She stood up and told him, “Of course, I’ll go change into my tactical gear right now.” And with that, she dropped the unicorn horn she was inspecting and headed straight to her locker.

While tactical armor was meant to be stealthy in the dark, the conditions of Mabel’s contract allowed a certain level of customization that wasn’t available to other MTF agents. She of course had a small American flag patch as required for identification purposes, but her helmet was decorated with purple swirls like fog or smoke. On the straps of her uniform, she also had various charms and pins of pigs and cats, including a custom tabaxi charm she would vehemently deny was a tabaxi.

Mabel didn’t know many of the doctors, just because she wasn’t in contact with them very often. So the surprise on Clef’s face when he saw the state of her tactical gear was expected. “Agent Pines?”

Mabel took his hand and shook it, telling him, “Yep, and you must be Dr. Clef. Don’t mind all the knick-knacks, we’re not on a stealth mission, so they won’t be a bother. My great uncle Stanford says hello by the way. You might have met him when you were in the GOC?”

Clef looked at Reg and Reg said, “Special contract.”

“Ah, that explains the decals." He turned his attention back to Mabel and said, “I think I’ve met him, yes. Tell him I said hello back. But I have to know, your file said you’ve had experience with these unicorns. How'd you handle that as a little girl?”

“Oh, it was awful. These unicorns are complete jerks.”

Reg nodded, concurring, "I've never dealt with a unicorn who wasn't at least a little hostile."

"I can only imagine. Granted, I've never dealt with one outside of combat before." But then, it occurred to him, "You said this wasn't a stealth mission. How are we going to get the hair then?"

"I did say that, I'll explain on the way there. Later Reg." Mabel claimed the driver's seat, Celf taking the passenger seat while Reg stayed behind. Staying true to her word, Mabel explained the incident from 2012, not finishing the story until they reached the edge of the woods.

"So the plan is to basically beat some unicorns into submission?"

"No, no, I'm going to threaten some unicorns into submission. I won't start punching unless they refuse to help. And you can join if you want, Doc."

"Thanks?"

With that, the two went into the woods together. walking paths Mabel had walked a million times. When they reached the deepest part, Dr. Clef played a recording of the druid's chant from a tape and the grove opened up to them, revealing the great waterfall and an ever-present rainbow. The moment they stepped in, Agent Pines and Dr. Clef heard a whinny and the sound of hooves on grass. Before them stood a beautiful, powder blue unicorn, resplendent in the sun.

She then began to speak, "I am Celestabellebethabelle, the last of the unicorns. What brings you here, brave advent,-" She then recognized Mabel, "-oh, it's you again. What do you want?"

"Same thing as last time, lady, we need hair."

"Are you kidding me?" She stamped her hoof as she said it. "You beat me and my friends half to death, make off with my treasure, rip my hair out, and expect me to give you more? Just like that?"

"I figured you'd be less of a dillweed about it if anything."

Dr. Clef then stepped in, "Agent Pines, if I may." He then approached the unicorn, telling her, "Look, I understand your history with my colleague is tumultuous, to say the least, but it's important that we have unicorn hair. World ending importance."

"So you say, Doctor, but I can see that you are not pure of heart. Your soul lurches with the weight of your sins and your lecherous nature. Why should I trust you?"

"That's not gonna work on him. Look, we just need it for a barrier and we're not leaving without it. Now, I can either just give you a haircut and go or we can fight again. It's up to you, just keep in mind that I'm a grown adult now."

Now, Celestabellebethabelle was cruel, she was unkind, a poor excuse for a unicorn, an already very arrogant species, but she wasn't stupid. It would be very easy for Mabel, who had only grown stronger with age and was in her prime, to beat her again. She also had a weapon this time and unicorns were not so endangered that her presence would be missed. She could see it now, her hair used for that barrier, her blood made into potions of youth, her hooves boiled down into magical glue, her horn made into an undying MP3 player. With little choice, she thus lay down on her legs, telling Mabel, "Fine you can take my hair. If you yank, I'll gore you. And don't let him touch me, I don't want some freak giving me a bad haircut."

Clef made a face at that but Mabel paid it no mind as she told the unicorn, "Don't worry, I won't give you a bad haircut."

She took a pair of scissors out of Clef's bag as well as some plastic garbage bags and knelt down to cut. She knew it would be harder to keep her promise with dry hair but she didn't let that deter her. Dr. Clef said they needed lots of the stuff, so she took five inches of the unicorn's mane, the proud beast huffing and muttering the whole time. At one point, she told Mabel, "You know there really was a time when we could sense if someone was pure of heart."

"Yeah, I've heard."

"Do you know why we lost that ability?"

"I'm guessing it's because you started lying to little girls." Mabel closed her scissors rather audibly at that.

"No, it's because we stopped being approached. Magic is use it or lose it and when humans don't care about being pure of heart, why use it? What I'm saying is that it was basically your own fault that I was mean to you."

Mabel then held the scissors to the very root of the unicorn's fine hair, "Oh no, looks like my hand slipped." She then cut off a lock of hair and added it to the already copious pile.

Celestabellabethabelle screamed in fright, "Alright! I'm sorry that I was a bitch!"

Mabel then went back to giving a normal haircut, "You sure were."

She then finished up, wrapping the unicorn hair in itself as neatly as she could and putting it into the bags. As soon as Mabel let go, the unicorn ran to check her mane in the lake. It was certainly a lot shorter but that wasn't a bad thing. She looked as fashionable as any dressage horse. She couldn't even see where Mabel had cut off a whole lock. "This is acceptable. Now get out."

"Wouldn't have it any other way." With that, she and Clef left the grove. The walk back was slower with each of them holding a bag of unicorn hair. Not one to let the opportunity for conversation to slip by, Mabel told Clef, "Sorry she called you a freak."

"It's alright, I've been called worse and sometimes even deserved it."

"She's not very creative."

"You know, I haven't read up on the old unicorn files, was there ever a time they could read someone's heart?"

"Nah, they couldn't. I just wanted to see where she was going with that. You never really know how they'll react when they're caught in a lie, so it's best to keep them talking until you can turn it around on them."

"Well, that's quite a strategy, I suppose that's why Agent Grey recommended you."

"Maybe, but it's probably just because I know the place best." She looked at his bag and a thought occurred to her, "So, I know what unicorn hair is used for and that I'm not supposed to ask for specifics but do you mind telling a lady if the reason for doing this is classified?"

"Oh no, I can share some details. We have an object being brought in from another site. It is imperative that we not only bring it but that it's as safe as possible. It's alive and non hostile and I'll leave it at that."

"The non-hostile part is doing a lot of heavy lifting there."

"Maybe so, but that's still a lot of possibilities."

"You got me there." She then looked at her watch. That haircut had taken longer than she thought it would. "Well, it's lunchtime. Do you want to join me?"

"Oh, no thanks. I need to get started on the barrier right away. You can drop me off back at the site."

Mabel shrugged, "Suit yourself. Just remember to eat, Doc."

"Thank you for the concern, I'll be fine though."

With that, they got back to base and the day went on as normal. Or as normal as any day could be. Honestly, anything was better than sorting through contraband. When she left, she didn't go home. Not straight away at least. She first went to Dipper's apartment, walking straight in, "Dipper, you won't believe the- what are you doing?"

Dipper was standing over his tank with a fishbowl in one hand and a net in the other submerged and cornering the terrified axolotl that was Bill. Dipper must have been at it since he got home from work, as he was still wearing a lab coat.

Bill used Dipper's surprise as an excuse to swim into his hide, Dipper explaining. "I needed to feed him and my fish and don't trust him. That can wait though, what's up?"

"I had a very interesting day is what happened. They're building an anti-possession field."

"What?" Bill and Dipper said this in unison, the axolotl sticking his head out of his Aztec pyramid. Only Dipper heard the former demon's wary tone, ignoring it in favor of his own curiosity. "Did they say what it was for?"

"Dr. Clef said they were transporting someone or something friendly to the Gravity Falls site and wasn't at liberty to say anymore, but I think the fact that it's friendly says enough."

"What do you think it is?"

"I think it's SCP-166."

"I kind of doubt that. She's not exactly easy to move. You need to remember I worked at site 19 longer than you. I passed her room a million times and that thing is like a vault. Plus, we've both read her file. They'd have to move her Oregon Trail style. Besides, are you even at liberty to openly discuss this with me?"

"It's not classified if it's just speculation and he gave me those details at least. Besides, who else could it be?"

"I don't know but think of it this way, has she ever been at risk of possession before?"

"He's got a point, shooting star. Say what you will about nuns, they can teach a girl a thing or two about mental fortitude."

"See, even Bill agrees with me."

"Are you seriously listening to Bill right now?"

"No, I just know I'm right. Anyways, is that the only reason you're here?"

"A little, but I also wanted to see how your first day was."

"Oh, it was great, I'm working on a project. Details are classified though."

Mabel groaned, "Seriously? Classified on your first day?"

"Yeah, on my first day." He went back to trying to catch Bill, telling Mabel, "All I can say is that it's incredibly important and that there's a reason I'm in Gravity Falls for it."

Mabek huffed but then, she got an idea, "Do you want to play D, D, and more D tomorrow?"

Dipper had finally gotten the screaming and squirming axolotl into the bowl at that point. He looked at Mabel, regarding her carefully before asking, "One-off or campaign?"

"One-off, you're the DM."

"Deal."

"What?" Bill stuck his head out of the bowl as he asked this, truly confused now. He didn't even pay attention to the delicious blood worms Dipper dropped into the bowl. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"That's a need-to-know basis and you don't need to know."

"Oh, come on!"

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[incorrectringsofpower]

Season 2 Episode 8 liveblog reaction notes (spoilers behind the cut)

- Sad dwarf time :( - Durin :(((( - Don't wear a riiiiiiing - Why hallo there Durin's Bane! Ever wondered where that name comes from? - Oh he removed the ring ;_; - Now that's a poster shot! - Checkbox on predicting King Durin's death! RIP. - DON'T TRUST HIM FFS - JOIN ME AND TOGETHER WE CAN RULE THIS GALAXY, GANDALF - Not the Stoors :((( - Hwat the fuck are you doing, Eärien? - Oh Catholic schism time, fun! - ANÁRION SEASON 3? DID THEY FINALLY REMEMBER HE HAS ANOTHER CHILD? THAT THEY HAVEN'T MENTIONED ALL SEASON UNTIL NOW? - Míriel nooooo my beloved doomed ship :((( - NARSIL FINALLY - God Lloyd Owen is doing the most to make it clear he also ships it lmao - Ah right. Eregion is still quite doomed. - GALADRIEL OUR BELOVED - Ooh Sauron eye motif via the sun! - Ah boob ring pouch has finally come back. - Oh Celebrimbor :( - This is deeply upsetting. - OH GOD THEY ARE GONNA FOLLOW THE SILM HUH - TITLE DROP TIME - 2nd predicted death that everyone expected ngl - Lol wow the angsty single tear as he yet again uses the many names line - ISILDUR - THEO - Dead mom angst :'( - So yeah he is gonna return to utter chaos back at home and his dad on the run, huh? - Well this is hella awkward. Maxim pines for all of his love interests with the biggest puppy eyes. - Estrid you could break it off with Hagen. - FUCKING KEMEN. YOU RUIN EVERYTHING YOU FUCKING ASS. - FUCKING LIAR WHO LIES. - BEREK BEST BOI! - ESTRID DON'T GO I THINK YOU'RE GONNA BE HUMAN SACRIFICED. - NOT THE HORSE. - OHHHH FLAMES ON THE SIDE OF MY FACE!!! - Why aren't you showing your face, Adar? Huh? - PRETTY ELF ADAR PREDICTION WAS TRUE - lol the Nolduruk shippers are gonna have a field day - TAKE THE BLOODY RING FIRST THEN ANGST! - I'm really sorry to the Adar stans. This is gonna be rough. - Ooh my wild card prediction for Glûg and the orcs was true! Gotta do a narrative parallel to the first episode. - Shoulda run while you could, Galadriel. - Sauron vs Galadriel round 2! - Well yeah, Galadriel, fascists think purging and razing is cleaning. - Fuck this not gooooood. - Of course Elrond would try to prevent a book burning. Very in-character for him. - Where is Duriiiiin? - Lol again parallels to the last finale - HOT BISHOUNEN SAURON - LMAO - THIS IS GREAT ACTUALLY - HORRIFIC BUT GREAT - The way is shut, it was made by those who are dead, etc. - NOT THE TITS! RUDE! - Okay so that's how he gets the Nine. Figures lol. Not boob fondling but boob stabbing. - ARONDIR STAY ALIVE BUDDY - Poor Elrond still can't see his friend :( - OOOH SECOND ELWING MOMENT THIS SEASON? -Aww I wanted her to kamekameha him on the way down! - Ah fuck I was hoping my wild card guess of Glûg dying would be wrong. Ah well. Robert Strange will be back! - ARONDIR WAS THE FIRST TO GET TO HER YES - Ooh ring magic healing! Just not as we expected. - Elrooooond buddy the ring! - Ugh he seems so haunted by having to be a ring-bearer, even temporarily. Angst x1000 for his future. - Oh Poppy :( - This is upsettiiiiing - MOTHERFUCKER STOLE FEANOR'S HAMMER I HATE U - "Grand-elf" okay that's funnier than Stick-elf I guess - Noriiiii :'( - So depressing that the Stoors had to leave everything. - Aha! A branch from the tree of the Stoors as predicted, eh? - Hi Tom, you missed a lot. Where is your wife? - Tom: What did you think this was? Hogwarts? - Hallo not!Saruman! - VALLEY NORTH OF HERE? RIVENDELL?! - Poor Durin :( - WHY IS THE RING STILL THERE DAMMIT - CRAFTY EVIL LITTLE THING - lmao Gil-galad "my great-aunt is source of all my migraines" - Aww Elrond got at least one smile this season! - Arondir being alive as well as Merimac and Gundabale makes me so happy ngl - Elrond really, really wants to open a B&B - Oh hey Vorohil didn't die. Thank god. Would have liked Rían to live as well, but :/ - (Wait is Camnir still alive?) - Oh a puppy survived! - Will say, Gil-galad is much improved by the armor. - Lady Galadriel in a white dress implies stuff for the next season, I should think? - RIVENDELL SEASON 3 I BEG

[runwiththerain]

"IF MY LIFE IS GOING TO MEAN ANYTHING, I HAVE TO LIVE IT MYSELF."

★ BASIC INFORMATION ━━ percy/ivy/ask ⋆ they/he/she/ask ⋆ 15 ⋆ australia ⋆ aroace ⋆ genderfluid ⋆ autistic ⋆ did system ⋆ ambivert ⋆ #1 wonderland fan ⋆ professional yapper ⋆ romanticises everything ⋆ music is life ⋆ lover of learning ⋆ permanently dehydrated ⋆ grey cat ⋆ headphones on constantly ⋆ ravenclaw ⋆ posiedon, athena or apollo kid ⋆ lover of relationships between characters ⋆ real life mix of percy and annabeth ⋆ number one hozier lover ⋆ 1989 and rep stan ⋆ sunset lover ⋆ rain and the ocean are me ⋆ perpetually curious ⋆ sometimes my posts get less frequent as i need breaks for my mental health

★ HOBBIES ━━ singing ⋆ playing guitar, piano and viola ⋆ listening to music ⋆ reading ⋆ blogging ⋆ playing video games ⋆ baking ⋆ swimming ⋆ learming ⋆ studying ⋆ watching youtube ⋆ bedrotting

★ MUSIC ━━ taylor swift ⋆ gracie abrams ⋆ conan gray ⋆ olivia rodrigo ⋆ lizzy mcalpine ⋆ hozier ⋆ noah kahan ⋆ girl in red ⋆ chappell roan ⋆ alec benjamin ⋆ cavetown ⋆ boywithuke ⋆ waterparks ⋆ one direction ⋆ why don't we ⋆ five seconds of summer ⋆ mothica ⋆ the backseat lovers ⋆ fin ⋆ arctic monkeys ⋆ the neighbourhood ⋆ the oh hellos ⋆ the crane wives ⋆ mothica ⋆ sara kays ⋆ anson seabra ⋆ more

★ ALBUMS ━━ 1989 ⋆ reputation ⋆ red tv ⋆ folklore ⋆ evermore ⋆ sour ⋆ guts ⋆ tsou ⋆ good riddance ⋆ kid krow ⋆ superache ⋆ fh ⋆ gmam ⋆ fsf ⋆ older ⋆ hozier ⋆ wasteland baby! ⋆ unreal unearth ⋆ stick season ⋆ trafoamp ⋆ narrated for you ⋆ these two windows ⋆ more

★ SONGS ━━ wonderland by taylor ⋆ pretty isn't pretty by olivia ⋆ best by gracie ⋆ forever fifteen by mothica ⋆ jigsaw by conan ⋆ erase me by lizzy ⋆ jackie and wilson by hozier ⋆ everywhere, everything by noah kahan ⋆ stupid for you by waterparks ⋆ morph by top ⋆ soldier, poet, king by the oh hellos ⋆ maggot belly by awfultune ⋆ more

★ CHARACTERS ━━ percy jackson ⋆ annabeth chase ⋆ piper mclean ⋆ charlie spring ⋆ tori spring ⋆ olly spring ⋆ frances janvier ⋆ georgia warr ⋆ jimmy kaga ricci ⋆ remus lupin ⋆ james potter ⋆ lily evans ⋆ inej ghafa ⋆ wylan van eck ⋆ el byers ⋆ will byers ⋆ more

★ BOOKS ━━ riordanverse ⋆ osemanverse ⋆ agggtm series ⋆ the hunger games series ⋆ tbosas ⋆ six of crows ⋆ iwwv ⋆ the house in the cerulean sea ⋆ the starless sea ⋆ i kissed shara wheeler ⋆ hiaylm ⋆ tbdate ⋆ the protected ⋆ inheritance ⋆ tsoa ⋆ tshoeh ⋆ more

★ SHOWS/MOVIES ━━ stranger things ⋆ brooklyn 99 ⋆ the good place ⋆ ever after high ⋆ enola holmes series ⋆ frozen ⋆ brave ⋆ more

★ MISCELLANEOUS ━━ asks and dms are always open, though be warned i can be awkward and my tone can be blunt among other things (autism related). my discord is open for frqs (runwiththerain there too). yeah please msg me though i will say i prefer asks because i'm less awkward when chatting through them. i may be slow at responding to asks but there is basically a 100% guarantee i will it just takes me time. i am selective about who i follow. DNI ENDOS AND ENDO SUPPORTERS, ISRAEL SUPPORTERS, HOMOPHOBES, TRANSPHOBES, RACISTS, ABELISTS, MISOGYNISTS, SEXISTS OR ANYONE WHOS DISCRIMINATIVE IN ANY WAY.

★ USERBOXES ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

[easybrainrot34]

I feel like when Bokuto (age 40) sees on Twitter #bokutoisadilf or #bokutodilf trending after a game from a charity match and he would lowkey be so confused but also would lose it 😏😂

Like he is shocked that one, so many “young ladies” (he would be so awkward saying it when he talks about it with kuroo later) think he’s hot even tho he could possibly be their dads age, but also he would get a lil cocky?? Like, after doing a little research on what a “dilf” is he would start playing into it. I’m talking plays into it like Pedro Pascal and David Tennant.

He goes down the spicy rabbit holes on Twitter and plays into what the fans write about. It would all come to a head when he does “celebrity reads spicy tweets” and he would just admit that he goes lurking. He would also say that he is very flattered, but sets the record straight that he doesn’t hook up with his fans bc if feels like an abuse of power. We Stan this king ok 👑✨

[houseofbrat]

Comments from DataLounge...

The video is so stagey and artificial.

It reminds me of nothing so much as a television ad for a medication--all it needed was a smooth jazz soundtrack and for an announcer to list possible dangerous symptoms after taking the medication.

Did you catch my “I’m just an innocent little girl happy to be with her loving family” act?

Pretty convincing, right?

Thanks for your support.

Here’s to a brighter tomorrow.

Agree with R13. The video is the moving image equivalent of Canva-generated "graphic design" for frauen who own hand-made candle shops. Or Taylor Swift's "Folklore" album.

The ending wasn't ominous. The woman doesn't want to go back to work full time, ever. Now she has the perfect excuse in perpetuity. The pointlessness and fakery of it probably gave her cancer in the first place.

You think raising two future Kings, a hyperactive brat and a pint-sized psychopath isn’t work?

Nice free trips for treatment, I drove myself to each and every treatment, just for spreading her legs for a good for nothing. Aren't we beyond this

They played this all wrong from the very beginning and then used cancer as a way to get out of the hole they dug for themselves and guilt people into feeling bad for questioning the way they handled this. All they had to do was follow Charles' example, but they didn't.

What is the point of discussing your cancer diagnosis and recovery but yet refusing to disclose the kind of cancer you have. The royal family are such weirdos to a degree. King Charles isn’t but the kids are. Shit is fkin weird and borderline offensive.

R59 But then why discuss it at all. What shame is there in the public knowing what type of cancer you have as we are championing and cheering for a rousing successful recovery. It could make someone having the same type of cancer have more hope. That’s because there is some type of pretension behind it and she probably got cancer from Prince William being a whore.

Anyone know if there is a GoFundMe page?

Glad she’s recovered. And that her sweet kids seem to be coping. Clearly she won’t be doing too much in the future beyond attending the mens Wimbledon final and her Christmas concert.

But that video is awful with the cheesy costume changes and organised frolicking. It’s like a commercial for a feminine hygiene product made to air on the Lifetime networked and edited with Canva.

In my eyes, Catherine, Princess of Wales hasn't set one high-heeled, nude color pumps foot wrong. I'm one of her biggest DL stans.

So, it's saying something when I agree with r13, r23, r62.

I think it would have been so much more effective if she had gone back to the same setting of where she announced her cancer and just as forthrightly said what she said here.

I enjoy cheapo Hallmark and Lifetime moves, the cornier, the better, but I don't want the same effect from a Kensington Palace announcement.

I'm surprised Catherine OK'd this, unless the presence of William and the children is meant to divert from more serious stuff that they absolutely want to keep private.

That's the only explanation I can think of for releasing this awkward treacle.

A few comments from the British peanut gallery:

Mawkish. I find it gross and insulting to the enormous health inequalities and struggles millions face. Nothing inspirational or touching about it at all.

I was waiting for William to say something really cringy while giving Kate a piggy back ride.

Oh my! It feels like an advert to join a cult, or for sanitary products in parts.

It’s an absolute self indulgent wank fest.

The video looks like the Twilight films.

Are William and Kate Scientologists now?

I think it was a “soft” way,of indicating to the public that she won’t return to public duties in the same way again. ----So she's going to do even less than before? Good grief.

R72 But you aren’t a public figure. They are releasing videos to be seen for mainstream consumption. There IS a difference.

R77 The British peanut gallery is right. This video is so tone death.

[quote]Why do you need to know?

No one needs to know. But notice how no one knows what type of cancer Charles has, but he's not getting the same kind of smoke. It's called understanding how to deal with the public and not whatever the fuck is going on at the Wales house.

King Charles is not milking his cancer the same way and he is 80 something years old. They are just so fraudulent and fake.

Here’s a little starter for those of you new to the “Die, Kate, die!” threads:

She is obviously wearing one of those new Post Chemo Thinned Hair Look wigs - she’s completely bald under there.

My neighbor’s veterinarian’s fuck buddy just finished chemo and looks terrible - it’s all a ploy for sympathy. There’s nothing wrong with her.

The whole family except Kate is wearing her signature color of blue. Coincidence? I think not! She is signaling either her imminent demise or divorce. Or both.

No skinny jeans for Kate in this video - only loose dresses. Can you say “permanent colostomy bag”?

Just found one site that said she had 90 public engagements in 2022. That means she had 75% of days of the year with zero public engagements. (or more than 75%, assuming some days had more than one stop...)

So "stepping back" from that low level of work is extreme privilege no matter how one looks at it. I don't begrudge her but she is not exactly hand in hand with the vast majority of cancer patients who still have to worry about paying the bills.

Campaigning for more paid leave and other support for ALL cancer patients might be a good project for her in the future.

R118, careful there! I said something similar in one of the other Kate threads and got ripped a couple new assholes.

[quote]So "stepping back" from that low level of work is extreme privilege no matter how one looks at it.

The Princess of Wales is extremely privileged??

**gasps in shock and surprise**

They released an overly produced three minute video. We are allowed to critique it. She could have sat on a bench and read a statement. Her choice.

I don’t think the video is that bad and I don’t think it’s receiving heavy criticism. I think it was designed for a fawning audience, and it shows.

[quote] I didn't like the part in the video where William is straddling her on the blanket and kissing her on the neck. That was tacky.

I missed that part. Straddling her is over the top.

[aclowntiny]

Hi! I'm here 'cause i love your work so much, you really got my attention UwU

I wonder if you could do how ateez or svt act with an s/o with the same heigth or taller than them. That is my insecurity around boys tbh. Thank you if you read this, ily 🥺 💖 (English isn't my first language, sorry for the grammar)

AHHH OMG YOU’RE SO SWEET!!! I love *you* 🫶🏻 we stan a tall queen, I know 2 lovely 6ft gals, one married a 6’6 guy & the other is in a very committed relationship to a 5’5 (woozi height 😌) short king 👑 we love to see it! I’m sure any short average or tall guy would be lucky to have you 🥰

Ateez With a Tall S/O

Hongjoong

Ok, you know this man is gonna want to dress you up. You just have a great frame for modeling no matter what your style, because of course Hongjoong respects that. Whether you prefer more masculine or feminine looks, both look great on a tall person! If you’re taller than him, he’ll probably be a bit shy about it especially if you’re a tall queen! Don’t tease him and call him short though he doesn’t like it >:( he lowkey wishes he were taller so he can do more protective-looking things, but his personality definitely still shines through without the necessity of height. If you’re his height or really close to it, get ready for the most intense eye contact of your life and the best pictures of you two looking into each other’s eyes!

Seonghwa

In awe of you honestly. You know that look he gets of complete wonder, stars sparkling in his eyes as he smiles? That’s all for you, baby! Especially if you show off, totally work an outfit, or perform some dance moves he’s just like whooooaaaaa even if it was a small thing. Seonghwa’s favorite is to hold you close at his side and having you so near smooch distance is a big bonus! Your height doesn’t make him feel insecure at all, if anything he is reassuring you all the time how unique and amazing you are, whether it’s that or all the other things he loves about you. Having a taller significant other makes cuddling that much better to Seonghwa so he can hold you facing him that much more easily!

Yunho

He probably feels like you guys have natural common ground because both of you are tall. May make jokes or conversation about it to bond with you unless you really hate that. If you hate your height, he’ll just nod and get really understanding because while he’s at peace with being tall, Yunho can understand that it gets you attention. Just because it doesn’t bother him doesn’t mean he can’t empathize! Honestly, having a taller significant other that’s his height or near it is great in Yunho’s mind because it makes it easier to dance with you, which is one of his favorite things to do as a couple. It’s less awkward than if he’s towering over you or moving you too forcefully because he’s so much larger…not to mention the eye contact is very romantic!!!

Yeosang

Is surprised if you’re taller than him, if you’re just close to his height it’s probably not enough to register in his mind. Like ok cool, yeah you’re near eye level, that’s nice. But if you stand above him he will loom at you like :o . He sort of likes the idea of being the taller one in the relationship, but such a small thing would never be a deal breaker! Plus it ends up coming in handy and he sees it differently when you guys basically end up as that meme of Kevin Hart and the lady lol. You protect Yeosang, not that he can’t do it himself but you stand up for your innocent boyfriend and the way his heart beats has him forgetting why he ever wanted to be the tall one in the first place. He’ll definitely want to protect you in turn, pulling you to the half of the sidewalk away from the road and doing as many little things as possible for you!

San

Listens to you vent so well, so if you ever tell him you hate being tall he’ll nod so intently, eyes getting sad as you talk before taking both of your hands in his when you finish. He’ll tell you he thinks you’re beautiful and amazing just how you are and not to listen to those people no matter how hard it is to tune them out. Instead of focusing on your height he’ll compliment every single other thing he loves, like your face when you see your favorite things or how he felt when he met you. Conversely, if you love being tall, he’ll hype you up to oblivion about it, cheering you on and telling you how you’re working it even if you’re wearing the plainest outfit hehe. San’s your little spoon and your big spoon, the one you pulls you into his chest even if you’re taller and he’ll love it if you do the same. Basically he’s used to being the taller/same height one, so he’ll want to try every cuddle and hugging position possible with you!

Mingi

Lowkey loves that you’re tall too because he’s a big baby and it’s less overpowering when he falls on top of you laughing or cuddling, lol! Honestly, Mingi is another one that just thinks you’re so cool for being tall, probably oohing and ahhing at small things you do like reaching things or if you’re strong, too. Having a tall significant other feels like having a playmate to him, but he also loves that you’re that much closer to yank in for a kiss or just the feeling of you pressed up against him, your head close to his- it’s cute but can also be kinda hot. He teases you for being tall as if he isn’t too, unless of course you don’t like hearing commenting about your height! Endearing as heck forehead bonks ensue while Mingi’s either thinking really hard or in zero thoughts head empty mode. He jokes about absorbing your thoughts when he does it!

Wooyoung

Immediately puts his foot in his mouth and goes “Whoa how tall are you?” lmao but he really doesn’t mean it badly he’s just very social and teasing. So if you’re a fair bit taller than him he may make jokes like ‘what’s it like up there’ type of stuff… unless you tell him please don’t, of course. It’s not at all a bad thing to Wooyoung though, in fact he finds someone who can tower over him very appealing honestly! Also will probably ask if you can pick him up just for funsies hehe~ Because he loves to cuddle so much, Wooyoung will want you to be big spoon a lot of the time, probably an alternating spoon schedule lol. He would absolutely adore it if you guys danced and you dipped him, like man would be S W O O N I N G so please do it!!! You’ll get to see him grin for the next hour plus. Have fun in general tall queen/king/monarch because now you have Wooyoung as a backpack for life, good luck getting him to let go of you.

Jongho

Another one who, if you asked him, would prefer to be the taller one, but again not a deal breaker because he’s not that shallow. He’ll be extra proud to be able to lift you up if you’re a lot taller than him, hoisting you onto his shoulders with the most triumphant look! Jongho also really enjoys resting his head on your shoulder, whether your height difference is big enough for him to do it while you’re standing or he just does it while you’re sitting. It’s a small affectionate gesture he enjoys, same with loose hugs from behind, which again he might prefer from you if you’re tall enough! If not, that’s his job congrats. He isn’t much of a cheek kisser, but will do it sometimes because your cheek is so close, it’s just right there!!!