#honestly anon thanks for giving me a recap on what the point of all the tmf episodes were

[tmf-confessions]

I don't understand the relevance of episode 5 to the rest of the series if im being honest ????? (and sorta episode 4 too)

Like,

Episode 1 - the introduction episode, sets up the plot for the rest of the season

Episode 2 - shows the effects of jakes prior actions, further expands on the clubs new dynamic with jake joining and meeting the characters, and jake doing something good for zander (wouldnt say he earned zanders trust, it's more so him convincing zander to try and give him a second chance and be open to having him in the club)

Episode 3 - learning millys backstory and jake earning millys trust by doing something good for her (getting her diary page back)

Episode 4 - depth to zander and lukes relationship, shows off lukes pining

now, a particular gripe I have with this episode is that it set up an action for jake to gain lukes trust (singing the love song luke wrote that he said he would sing) and then shows jake just. failing on it. he showed up late so hailey had to sing it instead. i feel like if the point was to show jake gaining lukes trust he shouldve actually came through on his promise. so its purpose of gaining lukes trust doesn't even make sense if he doesnt do the thing he said he would???

Episode 6 - music club bonding episode. some may call it filler, but I do think it's important to show an established dynamic they have since the show in this season was mainly about jake growing close to the music club. shows that a lot of the club have certain trust for jake and most of them can get along well. also the episode where jake specifically does an action that gains seans trust, which would be offering him the gaming laptop since sean couldnt find his. (but then again, he never really gave it to him since they found his laptop, so he never went through with the exchange technically. the thought that counts, i guess? but i feel like the stakes were removed.) would say this is the sean based episode, but it barely is and felt more slice of lifeish with only a few sean scenes, not even entirely sean focused really.

Episode 7 - giving more depth to sean and daisys friendship. (will eventually set up the conflict where jake thinks sean is dating daisy) shows jake opening up about his past.

Episode 8 - hailey depth episode, expands on her stage fright. expands the relationship between jake and hailey immensely. fight at the end of the episode sets up the big conflict ready to come.

Episode 9 - where it all comes crashing and burning. very important episode, shows the jomies (whether unintentional or intentional) manipulating and peer pressuring jake based off the things set up in earlier episodes. jake talks shit. club finds out. kicked out of club. one of the highest points in conflict.

Episode 10 - the aftermath. jake tries to figure out what the hell happened, who did it, and tries to set things right with the music club for the first time. does not work. daisy gives him the encouragement he needs to take a step further.

Episode 11 - grand finale. music club and jake make up, jake and his jomies break up. they sing. they win. congrats. ending conflict, and sneak peak sets up intrigue to season 2.

Now, all of these episodes serve their purpose to the main plot EXCEPT episode 5.

For starters, it's pretty much the only episode where jake doesn't play a major role in. I'm not saying every episode HAS to specifically be about jake, but he played a major role in every other episode, which makes it feel out of the blue when he doesn't play a role in episode 5.

It completely takes off the main plot there is and sorta steers in its own direction. Not to say I didn't enjoy the episode, but it's not very connected to the rest of the season besides episode 4.

Episode 4 in itself steers off the main plot a bit too, but it still features jake actively caring about a club member (luke) and trying to help out with their problems which is important to his development in the series.

i kinda think episode 5 would have been a bit better as a spinoff or an episode not tied to the main series. It's not a bad episode, maybe cliche and stacy as a plot device was kinda annoying, but it's not horrendous for teen highschool side romance. Just doesn't really belong in the middle of the plot I think.

Anyway. Rant over this was stupid but you get the point if you've read through this.

confession #680

[midnight-in-town]

Hello. I love your blog very much, honestly, thank you for sharing your ideas, theories... My first language is not English, so excuse me if you don't understand everything I'm going to say. It's about Black Butler... I've been thinking and I would like to know what do you think, about the idea of the end of Kuroshitsuji where O!Ciel gives his soul to Sebastian, but his physical body becomes resurrected just like his twin brother? Do you see that idea possible? Do you think O!Ciel would learn how to live for himself and not for revenge??

Hey Anon ! Don't worry, my first language isn't English either and your English is very good ! :))

Thank you very much for reading and for the nice words (^3^) that question is very interesting.

First of all, I'd like to remind you that, for now, my favorite possible ending for Kuroshitsuji would be Seb not getting to eat our!Ciel's soul, whether our!Ciel survives or dies at the end.

Aside from that, I don't think our!Ciel's meant to become a bizarre doll, mostly because bizarre dolls are a plot point correlated with not mourning one's grief and being unable to move on.

Take UT who made it happen,

take Queen Victoria who's interested in it (for war and maybe to bring Albert back),

take any of the Parliamentarians who were afraid to die,

take even Bizarre Dolls themselves who are perfect if they have a lot of "yearning for the future"...

...and you have the main recipe for antagonists in Kuroshitsuji (UT perhaps being the sole exception since Yana said "he may not be exactly an antagonist").

Our!Ciel himself is a main character obsessed with living to get his revenge, with finding out what happened to his family 4 years ago, knowing very well that, through his contract with Seb, that means giving up voluntarily on his happiness and hope for his future.

For me, what makes Kuroshitsuji such a good story is that it establishes, despite having a demon eating souls as its main character, that getting obsessed about revenge is not a good thing, because ultimately one has to move on with their life.

Mourning is painful and takes time, but it's a process that is necessary if one intends to move on. The Bizarre Doll project in all its aspects is the antithesis of that and that's why I don't think our!Ciel, whom the story establishes is on the wrong path for being revenge-obsessed, is meant to become one.

In fact, it's because real!Ciel is a potential big bad antagonist (please read the RCMT recap post, in case you don't understand what I mean) that he's the one who became a Bizarre Doll. Just like Queen Victoria being in a contract with a demon and possibly the culprit behind Vincent's and Rachel's murders is paralleling our!Ciel wanting revenge through a contract with a demon like Seb.

It's all about parallels and about our!Ciel facing people who made the wrong choices before him, hence why 1) I'm hoping that Seb won't get to eat his soul, because 2) our!Ciel will finally admit that losing his soul to Seb is not what he wants, since only living for revenge is not exactly living in the first place [x][x] and breaking the cycle of revenge his family was caught into is perhaps his fate.

The way I see things, Yana hinting that UT may not exactly be a villain is because UT is the only character affiliated with the BD project who will maybe realize that, by not mourning dead Phantomhives, he'll lose the ones who are still alive (our!Ciel, Frances, Liz, Ed).

TL;DR for me the story calls for the failure and destruction of the BD project first and for our!Ciel to give up on the contract with Seb second, because moving on is ultimately what Kuroshitsuji is about (and don't even get me started on the fall of the Shinigami organization for the exact same reason).

So I don't know if our!Ciel will survive this story, but I certainly hope he won't become a BD, because thematically it makes no sense ! As always, I could be wrong though.

I hope I answered your questions ? Thank you again for reading and for the sweet words !! Have a good day. :))

[utilitycaster]

I'm the abridgement anon from before. Thanks for thinking so much about it! Here's my status with respect to C3: I watched every episode up to 24, then fell off. I tried to rejoin several times thereafter (basically, whenever the grapevine said something important had happened - Laudna's death, Ashton eating the shard, FCG's death) and every time I bounced off again. I do want to give this my best shot, but I fear that it just might not be for me.

Ok so that's actually helpful specifically because I was like "hmmm...people should probably watch up to 24, and then the skipping happens."

I went for a very "here's what you REALLY shouldn't skip; anything else you can (and should) pick up on recaps" but after around episode 37 there's only like 2 episodes I'd actively recommend you skip (64 and 82 btw), and after the solstice I don't think it ever really drags other than during Endless Convos About Whether The Gods Are Good Or The Vanguard Has A Point. Speaking of, watch the full conversation in episode 49 but after that whenever they start on theology and "are the gods worth it" feel free to skip until it stops, regardless of whatever else I said about the episode, except for the one this most recent episode (92).

Bassuras: You can skip 25 entirely unless you want to experience Taste of Tal'Dorei. for 26-30, basically jump around whenever you get bored and flip to recaps. I recommend the All-Minds-Burn scenes, maybe some Imahara Joe but you'll see him in a bit. Episode 28 is basically entirely a no-holds-barred drag race which I found fun but is not necessary. You should watch 31, but if you get bored with the first half, skip to recaps and jump to the second half. First half of 32 is good and important. Second half you can get in recap but there are some good conversations. First half of 33 is similar watch if you want but recap if you don't. Otohan fight is the second half of 33; it is relevant but also. you could recap it. You should watch all of 34 though, which is good, and it and 32's first half are plenty of Imahara Joe content.

Laudna's death arc: Back half of 35 if you like Ashton, otherwise skip. I'm gonna be real honest: if you like Percy, Vex, or Pike there's some good stuff in 36-37 and if Laudna's your favorite character watch it but if not just read a recap and take this time to rewatch your favorite C1 Briarwoods Arc episode. Watch 38-39 but if you get really bored you can probably go to a recap for 39 though I do think Weva Vudol and Chetney's werewolf time are great.

Chetney and Yios: 40-41 are a Chetney-centric side quest. I think they are really fun episodes with a lot of great moments but they can be skipped if you're in a crunch. 42 is a good party rp episode and a lot of fun but not super plot heavy. The second half of 43 is a load-bearing infodump; you cannot skip the content thereof (and Planerider Ryn is fun) if you find yourself glazing over find a plot/lore heavy recap. Skip first half of 44 (fun but silly combat) but watch the second half. 45 is quite important and pretty good.

Feywild and Solstice leadup: Feywild arc (46, 47, first half of 48) are fun but basically watch 46 until you feel you've had enough (it's pretty good imo, you may watch it through) to get Morri's immaculate vibe. 47 is important. You can skip all of 48 except the trip to Gelvaan in the end, which you should watch. 49 is long and talky but it does have a lot of good conversations; I would watch that all though feel free to throw it on 2x if you don't already do that. 50-51 also pretty vital, 51 being especially unmissable. Beau and Caleb are in 50!

Solstice Split (Team Wildemount): I honestly think these and Team Issylra's are some of the strongest and most interesting episodes in the campaign but again, if you are pressed for time: you can skip 54 and 56 (fun chetney backstory standalone and travel to molaesmyr respectively). You can also skip the first half of 57.

Solstice split (Team Issylra): I'd watch the whole thing but if you feel like fast-forwarding through the combat in 61 and throwing 62 on in the background or on 2x you can.

Reunion and Air Ashari Sidequest: you can, ngl, flat-out skip 64; there's a zillion people at the table and anything important gets rehashed in 65. Watch 65. I like 66-68 a lot but you probably could skip them if you read recaps (68 is also rather important infodumping). 69 is a good downtime episode which is to say there are good character interactions but if you're on a plot speedrun you can skip to the part of the back half where they go to Yios. Basically: no clunkers in this arc other than 64 - I found it really watchable - but also ultimately a sidequest so if you get bored don't be afraid to go to recaps.

Errands and the Shattered Teeth: Again, no clunkers, but a lot of stuff you can safely skip, so here's what you shouldn't miss: the All Minds Burn scene at the end of 70. Everything after Jirana and Toriz show up in 71. Make sure to know what happens in 72 and it's fun but you can skip it and catch the pirate crew in 73 instead, which I'd watch until they disembark as a weird downtime ep but especially Fearne's scenes if nothing else. Watch the second half of 74 and the second half of 75 (first halves of both are fine, just, again, you can fill in with a recap).

Whitestone and the Feywild aka SHARD TIME: For 76 watch FCG's scenes with Dancer and at the Horizon temple; and Ashton, Orym, and Chetney's scenes at the Altar of the Raven. Lots of important lore that you should read in a recap. 77 you can skip to when Delilah manifests in the first half and then watch the rest of the episode. 78 is worth it the whole way through (post shard). Watch the first half of 79. The second half of 79 and the first half of 80 are team-building exercises and you can read a recap of this if you don't feel like watching. Do watch the second half of 80.

Ruidus: Watch all of 81. You can safely skip 82 and the first half of 83; it is all fighting to get to the moon and fighting while on the moon. Watch the second half of 83. From there, I think it's worth probably watching to where we are (well. at least to the break of 92 anyway) but if you MUST skip stuff: first half of 87 pretty skippable; combat in 88 skippable but the rest you should watch. Definitely watch 89; 90 is like...I would not skip it and it's fun but it's basically an action movie so you can like, put it on in the background if you want. Finally, the Otohan combat in the second half of 91 is a complicated thing in that I (D&D combat mechanics enjoyer) liked it and I think FCG's death has more weight for me because I knew what it meant, but if you are not up on D&D mechanics watch it on 2x until the last half hour because Otohan has no personality.

[hoghtastic]

Am I the only one who finds it very strange that Johanne even changed her profile picture at all to one she took way back in what, like July or August? Especially knowing that her last 3 profile pictures were all pictures taken by Alex. Wouldn't just a new picture he's taken of her suffice if she just "wanted a change?" Because that would still do the trick as the last 3 pictures did if we assume it's to show, "We're together, he's mine, he took my photo, look. See?" Maybe I'm just being pissy and reading way too much into it, but it seems that her every move on Ig is for some kind of sneaky purpose so I just felt like they actually were having issues during the holidays, and now she's just being petty. Am I crazy? Please tell me I'm just crazy and just looking for something to complain about!

And honestly, I thought Alex's New Year's story was a jab at her. That unlike her, his every move didn't have to have a photo and be posted on the internet. We all know he takes pictures of practically everything, and he would know that him saying he "needs to take more photos" is laughable. (And side note, I actually did see at least 2 or 3 fanpages call him out for saying he doesn't take photos by posting the picture Nomi took of him literally taking a photo! 😋) So this is why I think he posted it to basically, "Pull a Johanne." Haha Again, am I just reading too much into it and giving him way too much credit? Definitely need to hear what you guys think......hoping you say I'm crazy....

Haha thank you for sharing your honest thoughts on this, anon! 😆 And, sorry to break it to you, but... no, I don't think you're crazy, not at all. Reading too much into it? Maybe. But aren't we all, especially in a place like this? 😉

Personally, I believe anything is possible at this point, so your theory is a plausible one. Judging by the change in her "posting pattern" during the holidays, it was discussed whether she and Alex had spent that time apart. And then, those assumptions turned out to be correct. What we don't know are the reasons behind this, since them being apart, Johanne not reposting the pictures Sladderkongen shared of her and Alex (but only the one where she was alone) and Alex's "cryptical" New Year's story seemed to denote some kind of "trouble in paradise" between them. However, when a fan's comment asked Johanne about Alex, she was quick to post a picture of the two of them, where he's lovingly kissing her head, as to show that everything is alright. Now, we don't know whether this is a recent picture or not, but the fact that she posted it seemed to serve the purpose of silencing the rumors that something isn't right between them.

What I also find a little strange, is that none of them posted a "2023 recap" so far, when they usually do so and this was supposed to have been a good year for them, especially since it was their first year together (officially) and they even travelled to some beautiful places. Could it be that something happened and that content doesn't make much sense to them right now, so they're refraining from posting it? Or maybe we're just reading too much into it once more, and they just didn't have the time/disposition to work on it yet, but will eventually post it later this month? Time will tell. 😊

Returning to the subject of Alex's story, it could indeed have been a dig at Johanne, just like her refraining from reposting Sladderkongen's picture of them could have been out of pettiness, especially if their hypothetical "quarrel" had anything to do with boundaries of what should and shouldn't be posted on IG. However, there are also other hypotheses to consider. Maybe he wasn't aware of Nomi's story when he posted his? So telling his followers that he didn't take many pictures during the holidays would be in accordance with his public persona — the one who's claimed that self-promoting on IG is boring, and that people could benefit from a day without phones. Or, just like this anon suggested, by mentioning his photography and intention of taking more pictures, he could be trying to direct people's attentions to a photography project in the near future? Or maybe there wasn't anything cryptical about his story at all, and he really meant what he wrote — that his New Year's resolution would be to take more pictures (maybe he would like to improve his photography skills this year?) and that he really didn't have any pictures to share from New Year's party (note that he didn't say he didn't actually take any pictures, just that he had none to show — so maybe none of those were flattering to the ones involved? 😆 Maybe he didn't want his followers to see him & his friends partying while drunk? And that's valid, of course.).

About Johanne's new profile picture, I think that your interpretation is also absolutely valid, especially under the light of "trouble in paradise" theory. However, even if everything is alright between them, maybe she entered 2024 with this "new year, new me" mentality? So if in 2023 a lot of people had this idea about her, that she was basically in "Alex's shadow", reaping all the benefits of being in a relationship with him and even claiming some kind of "ownership" over him, his clothes and his home, as well as the notion that she'd be unknown without him, maybe in 2024 she wants to distance herself from all that? Maybe she wants to prove that she can actually shine as her own person, without needing Alex's help? Or maybe we're reading too much into it once again, and she just really liked the disco balls and pink background. 😆

Whatever their reasons were, I believe that with the little info we have so far, it's only normal to speculate and try to find possible explanations, but we can't really tell with 100% certainty what's happening. However, in due time, I'm sure we'll understand it much better. Guess we'll have to wait and see! But until then, I believe it's okay to share your opinions and theories. So keep bringing them on! 😉

[aroaceconfessions]

https://aroaceconfessions.tumblr.com/post/686688214120054784/hey-im-writing-here-because-i-need-advice-and-i

Hi! I’m this anon 👆

First of all I want to thank everyone who answered my original post, you all really helped!

Secondly, I’m here for an update and ulterior advice (sorry if I’m annoying, but I literally have no one else that knows that I’m both aroace and going to therapy, so here we are).

TW: internalized aroacephobia, drinking, therapy.

So, after my previous post I’ve been to therapy a few times. Luckily, the topic of romantic/sexual relationships never came up again because I had more urgent matters to reflect on. And I hadn’t worried about it since literally my last post, but I went to my last session three days ago and once again I had to face this topic. 

For context: I had skipped two weeks of therapy because I’ve been really busy with planning a five months long stay in another country. I’m leaving soon. This week, luckily, everything is calmer so I went to my normally scheduled appointment and everything went well. We focused more on my anxiety because I actually had a few episodes and I wanted to work through them before moving away. 

Because of my imminent departure, however, my therapist took a few minutes at the end of my appointment to give me advice and a small recap of my journey/growth till now (which I REALLY appreciated, don’t get me wrong). However in this recap he also mentioned that he would have liked to talk about non-platonic relationships, but my aroace ass never gave him the opening for it. I found this observation pretty fair actually, seeing as a lot of my journey in therapy focused on relationships, how they define me and what role I tend to assume in them. However, he continued his speech saying something along the lines of: “I want you to take this period [the travel] as an opportunity to explore yourself and your boundaries.To let go. And, why not, to explore [non-platonic] relationships. So if you find a boy you like - or a girl - go for it.”

Basically, he told me slut it out lol

But now I find myself with doubts for my last appointment before leaving the country:

1) Do I actually open Pandora's box and come out to my therapist knowing that I won’t be able to go fully in depth of the issue in just one session? Doing this would allow me to get more “tailored” advice for my stay outside the country and actually work on my anxiety from another point of view (not the non-platonic relationships one he already suggested). But it’s still super scary considering I don’t have a lot of time to explain myself (altough he actually acknowledged the possibility of me being queer!!! “or a girl”). 

2) Second issue. In a fucked up why that I know I shouldn’t even be considering (for myself), what my therapist said makes sense. I feel like in a way he’s right and I should try exploring relationships, but I’m afraid I won’t ever be able to do it on my terms and that scares me because I already went through a “maybe I just need to get drunk enough to not feel repulsed” phase and luckily nothing bad actually happened. But now that I’m on the verge of moving continents and traveling alone I’m afraid I might resolve to that side of me again and go through grief and internalized ace/arophobia again and, man, I honestly feel like crying just at the thought of that. I wish there would be a safe and sure way to have these experiences but it’s either the unsafety of one-night-stands or the risk of losing a friendship because I decided to gamble on it in the hope I would develop romantic/sexual attraction.

I honestly feel so lonely and tired. It seems like this sexuality crisis will never end and like I might always be lying to myself. 

I was so hopeful after my last therapy session, but the more I think about it the more I want to scream.

Sorry for the long post, I hope you all have a nice day! 🧡💛🤍💙

[viscountessevie]

I think we need to respect that Simone is a private person, and Bridgerton was her workplace. I am private and don’t share much of myself with colleagues. People probably think I’m a snob. I don’t mean to be, but sharing is just not in my comfort zone. I’ve kind of gotten that vibe from the Bton oddness. Whatever it is, SA is an adult. She works. She doesn’t need to be effusively close with co-workers.

Okay so I'm pausing 'grave dancing' (as Rahul Kohli puts it) for a moment and we're back to our usual programming!

So I put these all together - though I was going to end with the very top one because I honestly have nothing to add and it pretty much sums up how I feel about the whole thing - because they are all very similar in sentiment as to how Simone is very professional, private and has been in the industry for a while and is doing just fine.

Pretty much I have nothing to add on that front and am letting all these anons speak for themselves!

The last two are also very similar for the cast feeling protective of CC which I understand we're all trying to make sense of their social media behaviour but I really think we should just stop you guys. They already made their bed and decision on who to 'support' in a sense of their likes and comments, that's on them.

I just want to sum up my last post on this with these poignant quotes and points all my anons on this post brought up:

Anon 1: I think we need to respect that Simone is a private person, and Bridgerton was her workplace. I’ve kind of gotten that vibe from the Bton oddness. Whatever it is, SA is an adult. She works. She doesn’t need to be effusively close with co-workers.

Anon 2: Simone Ashley is an adult who has survived in a tough industry this long. She’s doing fine. We all need to remember that.

Anon 3: Simone seems to be not as active and keeps it strictly professional.

And of course the main point I’ve been parroting across all my posts and of course this is all of your choices to do so and I am no way policing your Internet time, just some good ole advice from your Non-Binary Pal: 

Time to set a firm boundary with yourselves to Not look at the cast’s social media activities (likes and comments) 

It’s their business who they want to hype up with their likes and comments, I cannot give a single fuck anymore I already know where they stand so no point bringing it anymore in my opinion. Also on top of all the dramas we get every day (did yall see Regé’s post yall?? Just wait I have a post coming on that!), we do not need add this to that. 

[Got a little long; direct replies to Anon 1 & 3 along with me setting a new boundary on this blog below!]

[Let’s all just look at JQ making a fool of herself again - did yall see this dumbass repost a bookshop doing their best labelling all the books with the spouses BUT THEN FUCKED UP WITH GREGORY AND PUT HERMIONE INSTEAD OF LUCY??? JQ’s laundry list is getting too long I don’t think I can keep enough to make that recap post kjshhasd.] 

Before I end this off I want to reply directly to Anon 1&3 (cos 2 you said all there is so thank you so much for your ask!): 

To Anon 1 - Babess you’re just private and I promise you’re not snobby at all! If your co-workers think that, that’s on them! I dunno when we all got to a point where everything needs to be shared everywhere tbh. Life and Film School especially has lately been teaching that I need more boundaries in my life between the different parts - hell even on here. 

To Anon 3 - Her new projects are coming babes!!! I think once TLM starts promo and she can talk about it more, more of her projects are gonna be announced. You know what they say, when it rains it pours. As for ‘angel bean’ Jonny, I do like him and admire his work,,, I realised something that I will address in the Regé post but let’s just say that the realisation has made me side eye the extent of his support of Simone. I still like him - not so much love anymore but yeah again learning to engage with celebs a normal amount. I’ll talk more about it in a bit! 

Anyways ending this with boundaries: I hope you guys find it in you to want to set the boundary I said above ^^ and as for me I would like to set a new boundary as well. As much as I want to listen to all of your views and asks, I am extremely burnt out by CC asks so I please ask that we no longer discuss her on this blog. Yes, I’ll reblog an odd photoshoot of her or an Eddie gif when I’m missing Bookwina but I don’t really wanna talk about her via asks! [Everything I’ve wanted to say on my stance on her is in this masterpost as well as this previous ask where I mention I still do admire her as an actress.]

Oh and comparison asks like the string of these that we had over this week. I have said multiple times, I hate hate comparing them. CC getting the hype doesn’t diminish our love for Simone or her talent!!

Thanks for reading yall and for sending these asks in! Hope you understand my new boundary and respect it!! 

[dribs-and-drabbles]

Hi! Did you hear about Milk (plays Ink) and the screenwriter of Bad Buddy mentioning in tweets about a season 2. Milk tweeted how she wants a season 2 and Ohm liked the tweet and the screenwriter quoted her tweet and said “ I believe that by the time everyone finishes watching EP12, everyone will be screaming like this.” And he also said in response to people asking questions and making comments “ I didn't spoil whether it'll be good or bad ending, or open ending. I just believe that everyone would want to see ss2. Don't think too far. I didn't give you spoiler haha” So now I’m even more curious as to what the end will be lol what are your thoughts on everything?

Hi Anon! Thank you for the ask...sorry it took a while to respond 😊

At the time you sent the ask, I didn't really know about these tweets (I'm not on twitter) but I've seen people posting about it in the BB tag so I'm kind of caught up. My take on it? Well, I can completely understand Milk wanting a season 2...🤭 Regarding the screenwriter saying that 'we' (the BB viewers) will be the same after episode 12 - of course I would love to see more of Pat and Pran (and the whole cast) but I've already felt that way since episode 5...maybe even earlier! 😂 God I would be so happy just watching any PatPran domesticity and generally Being Boyfriends...but that a series does not make.

Honestly, Aof has already said that BB will be a "complete series" (it was in a Soonvijarn react or recap video and I don't have the time or will to search for it right now), and I took that to mean the story is going to wrap up by the end of ep 12. Whether that's a happy or sad ending (I'm hedging my bets on happy!) is yet to be known but I don't think any ends will be left loose for a second season.

Why? Well, the whole series is about the drama of them going from being not-enemies to lovers and dealing with the conflict between their parents. Once that's all dealt with (which I believe will be in eps 11 and 12) I can't see what else they would need a-whole-nother season to address. Yes, as I said, I could watch Pat and Pran navigating life together, finishing uni, starting work...but there's no big issue they would have to deal with like in this season for it to be necessary - just desirable.

Plus, I really think this series is a one off for both Ohm and Nanon...and Aof in a way. There are other projects and other stories that need telling - and Aof has done with Bad Buddy what he set out to do...and by god he's done it well. And I'd rather leave it like this - a precious diamond, delicate on my finger to admire whenever I want, shiny and bright, and just a little bit smaller than I'd like... rather than a cheap cubic zirconia bigger than my hand that will crack and chip and dull over time (which is what a second season would feel like if it were made just because we wanted the characters instead of there being an important storyline that still needed addressing).

I'm rambling. I'll stop. I think I've made my point 😂

(And to the other Anon who sent me an ask - I'll respond soon, I needed time to think!)

[miraculouscontent]

(miraculous asks)

Anonymous said:

Oh My Gosh!!!! I was just thinking about Party Crasher and man I hate how they had Ladybug get captured for the men to save! It's a continuous thing you see in media: strong heroic woman gets put in peril so that the men can shine. I didn't even realize it until you said it! I get that it was probably meant to be a "role reversal" of Chat always getting kidnapped or brainwashed for Ladybug to save, but the fact that this is the "guys' episode" it read like "well damn, we can't have the guys be strong if a girl is in the way; let's have the girl get captured so the boys can prove their worth by rescuing her!".

At least in Sandboy, Ladybug was still competent and came up with the plans, but this?! It makes me sick, and it's all too easy to fall into these traps; even Kim Possible did it! In my magical girl story, the heroine does get put in a magical coma and require someone to bail her out, but it's her female friends AND her boyfriend who save her, so it's not just a girl being weakened so a boy can be powerful, especially since said boy actually does a minority of the work required to save her; the focus is on the female characters so it's her girl friends who do most of it. I still ended up scrapping that side plot anyway, and do you know why? Because regardless of who saved her, I still didn't want my female protagonist to be put in distress at all due to the unfortunate implications! Needing help in a fight? Sure. But outright being captured or kidnapped? Nah fam.

I was honestly thinking about that when the first episode came out. Like, they could’ve just had Marinette NOT SHOW UP in time so the guys take care of things, which at least gives more of a message that Paris wouldn’t go to hell just because Ladybug is a little late or something.

And yeah, the “boys squad episode so gotta toss the girl out” is... sigh.

Anonymous said:

I think the writers were trying to show Chat angsting to show his regret instead of an actual apology. Still doesn't explain why Aeon didn't bring up her death afterwards. Did Olympia delete that from her memory banks?

I guess? :|

I don’t know why Chat can’t just apologize without fishing or trying to earn sympathy. Like JUST SAY YOU’RE SORRY, DAMMIT.

Anonymous said:

If you haven't read Maribat, then you won't regret it. I am not in the DC universe but I started reading it and WOW. Literally every single time Marinette is a badass queen and gets her complete revenge and is actually happy! Even if you absolutely love Lukanette (which I have nothing against) you should totally try it.

Appreciate the comment, but I find it hard to ship other Marinette ships outside of Lukanette. Ivanette is a very loose exception and it’s not like I ship it hard or anything.

Anonymous said:

Despite not being a Lukanette shipper I love you. Why? Because you amazing, so right in literally everything and I love you <33

gkdfjgfdngjkfdg thank you

bat-anon said:

The NY Special made it so that Max is literally the only Black/Brown kid that doesn’t exist to make Love Square happen and that just makes me hate it even more.

I wish you didn’t make me have this realization because I hate it.

At least Delmar existed in the New York special???? I guess???? I dunno, I’m trying here, I don’t recall him doing anything love square centric.

Anonymous said:

I honestly don't mind Alix's outfit as Bunnix! I feel like it fits her, plus she's an adult so its not much of a problem, not saying it can't be improved however. I DO have issues with the designs for the underage girls outfits however....those are very sus

Yeah, the problem I take with Bunnyx’s is that it’s a bodysuit. If there was just more definition, like having actual boots, I wouldn’t complain as much.

Anonymous said:

I actually just really like the idea of the new bee being a genuinely nice person who becomes friends with Marinette. Not exactly close friends (since I like the idea of friendly working relationships without actual personal stakes in them). I also enjoy the idea of the new bee having some small animosity for Chat Noir- just because their personalities aren't the greatest mix. I also think that it would make sense for the miraculous of subjection to be at odds with the miraculous of destruction

Full agreement but we know how much the writers are resistant to have characters go against Chat.

Anonymous said:

Not gonna lie the scene where the girl squad gets akumatized almost makes it seem like they got akumatized on purpose, similar to Manon in Puppeteer 2(although she was a little kid who was probably just imagining she could enact revenge). And why can't they have a uniformed design, like they're a team but wear different colors, similar to the Sailor Senshi(like, Alya's the leader and wears orange, Rose wears pink, Alix wears green, Juleka wears purple, and Mylene wears yellow). It's so boring.

Mood.

Not to mention that WE ARE SO TIRED OF THEM GETTING AKUMATIZED INTO THE SAME AKUMA.

AT LEAST PALETTE SWAP THEM.

Anonymous said:

Relating to the Didn't Need Burrows and Treatment of Marinette bingo cards, have you considered making one for whenever the show fails at girl power? It could say things like "sexualized frames of teenage girls" "boy tells girl what to do" "girls don't get to keep Miraculouses", and "girls are forced to apologize whenever a situation goes wrong". And in the center, it could say "Don't show this to your daughter!"! Lol! What do you think?

lol I feel like I have enough cards, otherwise I would.

Anonymous said:

I saw another post that talked about Miraculous New York, and they theorized that it was rewritten to focus more on Marinette and Adrien in order to get viewers invested in the Love Square again after more people started to lose faith in the ship. Do you think that's a possibility?

I think so. The whole special comes off as trying to reassure love square shippers because of how hard it goes for him. I cut out Marinette’s crushing and it cuts like 18% from the episode, meaning it’s even worse than Season 3 (15%).

Anonymous said:

Maybe the point of the [break-up episodes] is meant to discourage people from shipping Lukanette and Adrigami too?

Spoiler alert: didn’t work.

Anonymous said:

Are we not gonna talk about how in one ask, somebody legit said "(long dreamy sigh) Viperion"? Like same.

RIGHT????

Same.

Anonymous said:

Ml fandom: I hate how Ladybug keeps secrets from Chat Noir! He sacrifices himself for her all the time and she never appreciates him for it! He has EVERY right to get mad at her!!

ML Fandom when Chat Noir does the same thing in the special: ....Wow Ladybug was way to harsh on Chat Noir!! She doesn’t appreciate him at all!! Shes so mean to him!

:|

i hate it

Anonymous said:

Idk if it's just me, but a majority of the fandom is split in two; it's never one or the other "MARINETTE SUCKS AND IS A HORRIBLE PERSON GUARDIAN MARY SUE WHO SEXUALLY HARRASSES" or "ADRIEN SUCKS HE WAS NEVER ON MARINETTES SIDE" but im personally on the latter, but not to that extreme. i hate videos bashing marinette and then never acknowledge adriens faults

Yeah, the fandom gets more divided as time goes on because of the writers trying to increase the drama/tension.

Anonymous said:

I am PERSONALLY offended they gave Luka the snake miraculous. Snakes have such a negative connotation. A lot of people insult Lila by calling her a SNAKE. And now those ML writers DARE insult the best character in ML?! HOW DARE THEY!?????

I adore Viperion but I agree that I first heard he was getting snake and was like, “BUT MY BOI???”

It gets awkward too because other animals like the pig have negative connotations, like how Daizzi basically means “idiot/stupid” and they’re giving it to the freaking blond character, really???

Anonymous said:

I think that Ivanette would be even better if Marinette was plus-sized character.

I see why you’d think that. I just disagree because then it turns the ship into “let’s pair the heavyset characters together because they heavyset.”

Anonymous asked:

On the topic of romance failures and general series salt, my main issue right now is how the series puts so much focus on romantic relationships while failing to consider other levels of relationship or what they affect.

On the L² front I can completely buy Marinette being in love with Adrien. Most of the time she genuinely wants him to be happy and is ready to take a step back for him, however much it hurts. But in terms of romantic love? It. Is. A. Crush! But if we step back from the formula, what is there left between them? Their civilian relationship is held together by a “comedy” of errors and without that there is surprisingly little left. Well, besides two “best friends” desperately trying to make it happen because somehow they lost their individual characters and instead of being friends became matchmakers?

I too like Luka and Marinette together. Their relationship is pretty nice to see and all. But sometimes it feels like it happens in a dimension of its own, like the writers want to make the endgame clear in that the “sideships” can be easily cut out of the big “how they got together”-recaps. I especially miss reactions from and interactions with Juleka. She is Luka’s sister, Marinette’s friend, and IIRC someone aware of if not even a bit player in the great shipping game. She is in a prime position to step up and bring progress on all fronts: She can talk with Luka. She can either give Marinette helpful pointers or go “All in or nothing”, i.e. trying to make Marinette get her Adrien-feelings in order as she does not want her brother to get less than Marinette’s full heart. Similarly, she can counteract “friendly acts” and stop humiliating situations from escalating, or she herself can escalate them in the “All or Nothing”-scenario. Yet she remains basically a background character who gets little attention from the camera and almost no “non-focus identity”

As for Kagami, I may be too biased. *Any* positive Kagami/Marinette relationship is to me what Lukanette is to you. So naturally I have lots of opinions when it comes to her role ;) But can I just say that Adrien/Kagami is the weirdest ship for me? They have a few cute scenes and I think if they’d spend a lot more time together, they’d do each other good but I don’t know how they work. “No Hesitation” Kagami would lob Adrien’s head straight off with all his…everything. If we are meant to take Adrien’s love for LB seriously (and I guess we have to because how in the name of sanity is any form of the stated endgame gonna work otherwise???), how does Kagami fit into that picture as a girl who can hardly express emotions while Adrien is the definition of a  guy who can not stop flirting or goes for all kinds of romantic gestures? Sometimes it feels more like a “social fit” and “Mommy/Daddy approves” kind of deal which is quite the shame! Normally I like these kind of relationships in fictions but they need a solid underlining or good development. One they haven’t and one the series has not been giving to anyone so far.

Yeah, the whole thing with the love square versus side ships ends up feeling extremely forced. Keeping Luka away and forcing Adrien into Lukanette episode are the biggest giveaways, basically a big fat sign that says, “We know Marinette would forget that Adrien exists if she hung around Luka for more than five minutes.”

AND YEAH, KAGAMI WOULDN’T PUT UP WITH ADRIEN’S GARBAGE. I liked Adrimi but it’s definitely more flawed than Lukanette.

Anonymous said:

Watched your opinion on the New York special and I agree with you. It was mediocre at best. It could have been something nice, like if they added Kagami and Luka, for example, so that we can get a bit of development from the new couples on season 4, so that it doesn’t feel rushed when they start dating on season 4. It could also be a good opportunity to see the other temporary heroes one last time, since Marinette technically has the miracle box.

They could have had an epic fight with the American Superheroes, maybe even giving the bee miraculous temporally to Aeon or Jess so that we didn’t need to see their awful and uncreative superheroes designs. It would have been nice if they made something more useful other than being characters that believe that Adrien and Marinette are “Meant to be”, like, we already got a ton of these already, couldn’t we get someone who didn’t feel something about this ship? It has so much wasted potential that I don’t even know how to start. Do you agree with anything I said?

I agree, yes. They could’ve easily thrown Luka/Kagami into the mix (or had Marinette/Adrien stay behind while flipping perspectives or something; flawed but they could make it work).

Anonymous said:

I'm rereading ladybugout and wow... the moment of silence after "chat deserves that kiss" gets me every time. Everyone stopping and just staring because wow he really just said that

Me whenever Chat Noir opens his mouth in the show.

Anonymous said:

I saw the Backwarder post you just talked about and yes, it is so totally ridiculous. They forgot another thing, though. Miraculous isn't just about comedy, action, and romance, it's about embarrassing Marinette. And the fact that almost everyone in the comments was acting like the medicine scene at the end was funny was just stupid and saddening to hear or read about, because it shows how people have been conditioned to hate and rally against Marinette without even realizing it. Granted, there was one lady who said it reminded her of her husband, so I guess that's okay(but all it means is that Adrien will be Marinette's--aka "his lady's"--husband like eeerrrgh!). And there was one person who said they liked that Juleka's advice because "If you're friend isn't willing to commit crimes for your happiness, is she even your friend?". But everyone else liked the ending. And I don't get the person who said we got "Subtle progression with Adrien and Marinette". We're right where we started.

Weeeeell, I understand the “comedy, action, romance” comment because all of those basically boil down to embarrassing Marinette or invalidating her. Comedy and romance goes without saying while action involves her dealing with Chat “Nice Guy” Noir.

Anonymous said:

Is it just me, or does Snow White's "Red Shoes" form look a lot like Marinette. I know, I know, Marinette is Chinese and Red Shoes is Korean, but they still look strikingly similar. They're bodies are really similar, too, but that might just be because animation tends to use eerily similar body types for its female characters on a whole. It's sad and it makes me think of how cute Marinette would be if she was fat. I also think Snow White was cuter than Red Shoes but that's kind of the point.

I think it’s the body type thing but that’s just a guess since I didn’t immediately make the connection.

I agree that Snow White is cuter.

Anonymous said:

Am I the only one who's never liked "destined to fail" characters? Basically this is when characters aren't allowed to be good at/succeed at something or else the whole universe will somehow fall apart. Think of how in The Amazing World of Gumball, if Richard gets a job, the world will be in complete and utter chaos. So he's better off as a lazy, bumbling dad. In Phineas and Ferb, Candace is always trying to rat out her younger brothers but if she gives up or succeeds something bad will happen.

TV Tropes put it the best: "Not only is she not allowed to succeed, but she's also not allowed to stop trying!"(conveniently under the Cosmic Plaything trope). I just don't like it because it shows that the writers just want to lead them on with the promise of success then snatch it away at the last minute. And now we're back at Miraculous Ladybug, where Marinette is humiliated every time she doesn't sign a gift that's for Adrien, and yet when she does, everyone in Paris DIES. Except for...HIM.

you: *mentions Candace*

me: [a million awful flashbacks]

Also, yeah, it’s so hard to watch, especially in “Chat Blanc” because it’s like, “Oh, you want to give a gift to a boy and you dArEd to use your powers for it? Congrats, but everyone else is DEAD and you can hang out with him as much as you want! You’re welcome!”

Anonymous said:

I think it’d become a “faintest idea blackout card”rather than a bingo.

(referring to my “Faintest Idea” card)

We’re getting there.

darkmoonravewolf said:

I hate that everything on that list could happen and very likely will

(referring to “Didn’t Need Burrow”)

Yeah, and it makes me sad :’)

Anonymous said:

That’s be real here. Miraculous ladybug is not a show about Marinette; Miraculous Ladybug is a show about Adrien. Adrien is the real main character.

Notice that when they focused on Adrien in “Lies,” they only cut back to Marinette (IN A SCENE THAT CAN’T EXIST) to have her fawn over him.

Anonymous said:

Is it just me or are Lady Noire's eyes huge? Maybe it's just the green but they seem way bigger than Marinette's

I’m not sure, but considering Rena’s facial structure being different from Alya’s, it wouldn’t surprise me.

asexual-individual said:

With what you've said about Adrien lacking a reason to exist outside of development for Marinette and Gabriel, I have to wonder how different the show would be if Chat Noir's identity was also kept from the audience. Adrien would still be there as himself, but he only gets as much focus as Alya, and Chat Noir's identity is treated as a mystery (a Tuxedo Mask type mystery, but a mystery all the same).

I see what you mean but it might cause Adrien+Chat’s screentime to feel excessive once the reveal happens, because suddenly their screentime gets combined and it’s like, “oh wow so the combined screentime is his then.”

Anonymous said:

I know that the kwami's really only exist so we can hear our protagonists' thoughts outloud (like what the Coraline movie did with adding Wybie to the story). But honestly, what's the point in having magical gods in the jewelry if you're not going to do anything with them?

Marketing with “cute” side characters.

guisendisguise said:

It's funny, originally, I had shipped Marichat in the sense that Chat and Mari start hanging out and both fall in love with the other's supposedly less perfect, more real selves. Then Luka was introduced and I ended up putting both lukanette and marichat at the same level. Then S3 hit and killed any love I had for Marichat. The writers themselves killed the Love Square for me. At this point, it's very clear they are living in a delusion where the Love Square could ever work narratively without Deus ex Machina or Deus Lo Vult (God wills it). Basically, they've gone past scraping the bottom of the writing skills barrel and are now shoulder deep in the hole they dug thru the bottom of said barrel. I'd like to point out that the bottom of the barrel is writing poop and now they're digging thru the useless plastic landfill the barrel was sitting on top of

Uggggh, yeah. Any appreciation I could’ve had for Marichat died in “Weredad.” I already didn’t like Adrien/Chat and then “Weredad” just showed his complete lack of... well, ANYTHING.

cosmostellar said:

Honestly feels like MLBs writers are going based off the "JUST IMAGINE EVERY POC CHARACTER YOU'RE WRITING AS WHITE" instead of, yknow, fleshing them out while developing them also in the context of their cultures and giving them these little things that the audiences who belong to the same minority can identify with. I don't mean "have Marinette walk in qipao 24/7" bcs thats just... bad on its own but man, /some/ casual acknowledgments of her culture would be nice.

Reading the sentence “JUST IMAGINE EVERY POC CHARACTER YOU'RE WRITING AS WHITE” physically hurts me.

Anonymous said:

Ok, I've always thought that Chloe was robbed of redemption (they held it in front of us, but then jerked it away while Astruc says, "She's irredeemable! We thought she was redeemable, but she wasn't :)!" What are your thoughts! Also, I just recently found your blog and I really like it :)

Thank you!

But I have no sympathy for bully characters, so I didn’t want Chloe redeemed. Maybe I’m still bitter about my own bullying experience, but I just wasn’t here for Marinette being forced to forgive Chloe, which is basically what they did until they backpedaled.

The time spent on her was wasted though and that I can agree on.

Anonymous said:

Me: Writes a 1k rant about how the tweet makes no sense as the "mistake" is about motivation and not the critical plot. Also me: Remembers that in MLB the plot always comes back to the romance. Finally me: Wonders why he got involved with the series post-S3 when all the red flags were already everywhere.

Mistakes were made.

Anonymous said:

I'm semi-catching up on miraculous, and- is it my impression, or does Kagami rebel against her mother more in few episodes she's in (even though her mother's influences on her seem to be stronger in general), than Adrien in the entire show? I /know/ that I don't want to see Adrien free himself from his father w/ the desperation I want to see Kagami free herself from her mother and realize that the standards she's held up to are unhealthy and too strong.

Yeah, I’m way more invested in Kagami than Adrien.

Anonymous said:

Am I the only one confused about whether the staff stopped caring and half-asses the series or cares too much and over-produces the hell out of it?

Nah. It really feels like they secretly hate the love square so they have to keep forcing it.

Anonymous said:

ngl I haven't watched any new episodes since Chameleon and I've been getting all that Miraculous News via tumblr to avoid that Marinette Brand Second Hand Embarrassment™

Understandable.

Anonymous said:

If they aired the 6th one first WHAT WHAT HAPPENED TO LEAD UP TO THIS???? WE ARE ON SEASON FOUR WITH TWO SPEICALS, GETTING A THIRD, AND ANY DEVELOPMENT WE HAD HAS GONE BACKWARDS, SUCKED, OR STATUS QUO YO-ED AWAY!!!!! HOW THE HECK DO WE GET ADRIENETTE FROM FOUR SEASONS OF NOTHING?????? I USED TO FANGIRL AT THIS NOW I AM TERRIFIED.

Answer: We don’t get Adrienette. We get forced love square and rushed/fake “development” of it while being constantly confused as episodes air out of order.

Anonymous said:

im sorry But adrienette has been suck in this limbo of one sidedness for 3 seasons. neither of them have become closer, neither of them have confided in one another, but somehow people still ship it? at least luka was able to make a move on marinette lol adrien still repeats the same boring “shes just a friend” line. adrienette is a really boring ship.

lol don’t apologize, you’re absolutely right.

nahte123456 said:

Very minor bit of salt to throw to the pile, but can this show just decide on how strong Miraculous holders are? Yes it's a cartoon and not the focus but in the Furious Fu episode we literally get Ladybug dodging lighting and then Su who seems mostly human and is at least slower then Fu was outspeeding her. It's distracting trying to figure out what is and isn't a serious threat in this show.

The deciding factor in the strength of the miraculous holders is “whatever works for the plot.”

Anonymous said:

At this point the only thing I'm excited for concerning Miraculous Ladybug is when it gets a reboot in like, a decade with actually competent writers

Best case scenario is that Zag goes bankrupt and Disney/Netflix picks up the series and gives it to competent people.

Problem is that the love square has been ruined so badly for me that even a “good” version of it wouldn’t be something I’d be into, but still.

Anonymous said:

Honestly, the problem with having all of Marinette's mistakes result in huge disasters (ex. Feast), is that is gives off the impression that teenagers aren't allowed to make mistakes. This show clearly doesn't like giving second chances to the protagonist, so why would life give one to you? Am I right, kids?

Exactly.

Marinette makes mistakes and suddenly the world is ending.

Anonymous said:

If your gonna watch the show, at least pirate the episodes so the writers dont get your support

Don’t worry, I have no interest in financially supporting the show.

Anonymous said:

ml in a nutshell: wasted potential, then giving themselves more potential, only to turn the rest of it into a dumpster fire

Yup, that’s it.

Anonymous said:

u know, when My Little Pony, Sofia The First, and fanfiction carries out character development, respect, romance, and the main plot better than the original show, especially when the shows mentioned above are aimed more at little girls and the original show is aimed at slightly older audiences... somethings wrong

*sigh*

And then it’s like--people will excuse the show because “it’s a kids’ show” and then I’m just “okay then, why are there actually good kids’ show?”

If shows get a pass for being for children then all childrens’ shows should just not try and be garbage since the standard is so low.

Anonymous said:

ive seen some cool fic ideas/concepts/reviews that made me think: ml could use so much more looking into how a character thinks in some situations. one fic i read had alya in chameleon (i know its been forever since the ep came out but hey) not question lila cus she thought: "hey, lb wouldnt befriend a bad person" w and added a plot line of lila making her think lb was cobsidering replacing rena rougue. like, just a few lines to make them seem better pls?

YES. Like, show us characters’ perspectives and why they’re rolling with the facts that they’re rolling with, otherwise they just end up looking like jerks.

We sort of got it in “Ikari Gozen” with Kagami but of course it was just to make Marinette look bad.

Anonymous said:

You know I’m honestly considering making reviews of this show and if I do I could create hour long rants about the show just from that mans twitter.

Yeaaaaaah, once you had in the Twitter stuff, it just becomes, “okay so this is going to add another hour or two then.”

Anonymous said:

Okay one thing that bothers me is how plain marinette's suits are despite being a DESIGNER. Her multimouse suit it just blocks of color and her ladynoir suit is just grey with green lines. I think the lines are supposed to represent actually clothes. Like the limes on the calves are supposed to make it look like boots but why not actually GIVE her boots. (Right, because she has to have a skintight suit unlike the boys who get some layers.)

THE SHEER DISRESPECT OF HAVING THE FASHION DESIGNER WEAR SUCH A PLAIN SUIT.

It also goes to show who really designs here, like oh, interesting, the girls get skin-tight simplistic bodysuits and the boys gets all the cool stuff--

Anonymous said:

I heard some people in my class saying they watched Miraculous Ladybug for the first time, and they were saying how good it was, and I was like: 'Oh you poor fools. You have NO idea what it's truly like.'

You know what they say: ignorance is bliss.

bat-anon said:

Isn’t it INTERESTING how in Frozer, Luka understands that Marinette is torn between her crushes and continues to support her even though he knows she probably won’t chose him, and in the exact same episode Chat Noir refuses to help save the city because Ladybug told him AGAIN that she wasn’t romantically interested in him? HMMM 🤔😑

dbfgjbdfjkgf

I’M REMINDED OF “FELIX” WHERE IT’S LIKE--THEY WERE CLEARLY TRYING TO SHOW HOW MUCH “BETTER” CHAT NOIR IS THAN FELIX, BUT LUKA WAS THE RESPECTFUL ONE.

Anonymous said:

You know what I want to see? An evil kwami, like they just want to commit crimes. No moral high grounds, just chaotic evil.

That’d be amazing just because I wouldn’t be able to take them seriously.

Anonymous said:

Watching S1 and S3 episodes back to back, it feels like reading salt fics at times, especially in regards to the L². Like, Marinette was happy about weird plans, she both needed and wanted the final push, and most of the time there was at least something coming out of it. Nowadays it just makes her sad, Alya and the girls act *against* her, and we get shipping for shipping's sake.

That’s a good point. The shift from Seasons 1 to 2 to 3 is rather noticeable.

Anonymous said:

I hate how Adrien's busy schedule seems to only matter when it's used to make Marinette feel bad, but the second Marinette has a bit more to do, it somehow has a negative effect on not only her, but also everyone/everything she cares about, like, what's up with that??

I’m reminded of “Lies” here and I hate it. :|

Anonymous said:

Honestly, the way the show treats teenage girls is horse ass. The show treats the teenage girls of this show as if they're stupid, naive, emotional, clumsy, and need a boy to tell them what opinions to have. Marinette is always treated like the show's punching bag and blamed for everything that goes wrong because she's "emotional" or "obsessed with Adrien", Chloe could've been redeemed but the writers would rather keep her a brain-dead Alpha Bitch Valley Girl(even though Gabriel and Felix, the latter of whom is a teenage boy introduced in one episode, get to be treated as redeemable, despite the things they do being far, far worse), and Lila is a conniving, self-absorbed fox.

And even though Kagami seems better, she's still roped into the "girls catfight over an oblivious guy" cliche and so far, all of her akumatizations have been because of Adrien. Whenever Marinette tries to move on from Adrien the other characters tell her what's good for her and steer her in the "right" direction because she apparently can't think for herself, and the writers LOVE to use the girl squad to tell us who Marinette should be with, because they apparently know better than she does.

Plus the show loves to treat all the girls as the same, making them all either fight over Adrien or be obsessed with shipping, as if teenage girls are all one assimilating, homogenized group(also when they treat Marinette as if she's "just as bad as Chloe", rinse and repeat for the other ladies.). Honestly, the show feels like it was written by those types of people who think "teenage girls are the worst" so they make them all mood-swingy, obsessive, showoffs, emotional, and downright clingy.

Plus the way Thomas Astruc talks about the female characters on Twitter is even worse, and only serves to make this more evident: he claims Marinette "has poor control over her emotions"(all the while calling Adrien "perfect"), that Chloe was racist in Kung Food "because she's stupid"(so rather than having that scene serve as a lesson on respecting other's cultures, he just did it to pick on Chloe and make her look "stupid"), that she's incapable of being redeemed, that Lila's unlikable but Gabriel and Felix aren't(even though he claimed Felix was a terrible character and a "cliche", that's not what the show says my guy), and other such nonsense.

Other Twitter users have also called out Miraculous Ladybug and its stereotypical treatment of teenage girls. The only shows I've ever seen do this worse are those pretentious "darker" Magical Girl "deconstructions" aimed at grown men such as Madoka Magica and Yuki Yuna, as well as most shonen/seinen shows such as Naruto and Death Note, which says a lot. Honestly, whenever I feel like watching a show with empowering and respectful depictions of teenage girls that treats them as bright and intelligent and actually unique from one another, I just watch Equestria Girls, Liv and Maddie, LoliRock, ANT Farm, Moesha, PreCure, or Sailor Moon. Because the way the show acts towards them is deplorable, absolutely deplorable.

Yes to all of the above. Almost all of the girls are involved in love affairs in some way, the two teenage girls are irredeemable while Felix got a sympathetic backstory right away (Chloe took forever to get hers which is a failure), and Marinette is flawed because she’s “too emotional” (a misogynistic stereotype).

Anonymous said:

Hi, I'm the anon who got upset at the lady who made the "Miraculous Ladybug is a Mess" rant, and yes, thank you zodiacspirit17 for liking and agreeing with my rant! I'm glad someone else saw that video! And ugh, Marinette learning to love Chat Noir? Really? I don't remember that line but I also don't want to go back and revisit it to make sure so I'll take your word for it. Ew. That was actually one of the things I hated about the Glaciator scene. Chat was supposedly comforting Marinette by taking her to the rooftop where he planned Ladybug's date, and yet only Marinette finds out about Chat's crush on Ladybug and comforts him on that(while rethinking her feelings), while all Chat knows is that Marinette's heart was also broken. He never asks who it is, or tries to help her get over her crush even if he doesn't know it's coincidentally him.

I know it's because of the "love square" but it's unfair that only Chat's love problems are directly addressed. Come to think of it, the reason Chat took Marinette to the rooftop...I know he was doing it in-universe to help her instead of intruding on her personal feelings(which might have also been why he didn't ask her who her crush was, he was probably thinking along the lines of "we don't have to talk about it right now, we can just have fun!"), but meta-wise, since we know she's Ladybug, the writers were probably trying to tell her "See? This is what you could've been doing, but you missed it. Shame on you!" That's a huge issue I have with the show: characters will do things in-universe to help Marinette, but the show has a different motive in mind. Compare to how Tikki gave actual advice to Marinette in Puppeteer 2, but the writers intended that for the statue scene so they could embarrass her in front of Adrien and the thousands of eyes watching the show(except we're not laughing.). Even if characters do support her, the writer is using them as props for her ritualized humiliation. And yet Luka is the problem somehow.

If Marinette needs to learn how to love Chat Noir, then it should at least be balanced out by Adrien learning to Marinette. I'm sick of this double standard that "girls need to learn to accept boys who like them but guys can do what they want". Another thing she said was that "Marinette needs to learn to define herself outside of who she's crushing on." NOPE. NOPE. NOPE. You see, unlike Adrien, Marinette HAS a life outside of who she's crushing on: she has school, she has Kitty Section, she has her "girl squad", she has her parents, she has her outside family, she babysits Alya's and Nino's siblings, and she has OH YEAH HER FASHION DESIGNING! I didn't even count being a superhero since Adrien does that, too. She has so many things to do outside of Adrien, and yet the fact that she makes gifts for Adrien or dreams about Adrien or wants to have kids with Adrien somehow makes her nothing but an "Adrien fangirl"?

First of all, she's the bloody protagonist?! That's such a "Real Women Don't Wear Dresses" argument, that she can't have her own life AND be in love at the same time! And somehow her crushing on Luka also means her life revolves around him, too! But Adrien's life doesn't revolve around Ladybug even though he doesn't really have anything going for him in his ordinary life? Outside of being rich, hot, white, and male, that is? What are his interests and hobbies, besides what Gabriel lets him do to pass the time? He doesn't even like modeling! And the Agreste plot is more about Gabriel, Emilie, and Nathalie than it is about him.

And what about his friendship with Nino? He didn't even care that Nino was getting strung along by Lila with the others! What about his friendship with Chloe that also waxes and wanes? Granted, Chloe's not a GOOD person, which that lady acknowledged, but she at least tried to change and has more development than him, the writers just won't let her change. I hate when people come for Marinette for doing literally anything when the show won't let her have agency and progress. It's so unfair of her and I wish they could see that. These double standards are driving me insane and they're sexist(maybe even a little bit racist, too), and it hurts even more when a woman's doing those things.

(I had to cut off some of this ask because I didn’t get all of it, so I cut it off at the point where it still seemed like a full ask.)

I FEEL THE “GLACIATOR” THING SO BAD. It hurts even worse when you realize that “Frozer” has to take place after “Glaciator,” so Chat Noir heard that Marinette has love problems and then ignored it to ask her for advice about his own love problems later on. The total lack of insensitivity???

Also, the idea that Marinette’s life would revolve around her crush on Luka is stupid. It’s the exact opposite, in fact.

Meanwhile, Adrien has so little going for him and the “interesting” parts of him involve who he’s connected to or what his father has forced him into.

[yuziyuanapologist]

Please tell us what kind of cat energies other cql characters have.

hello anon! so you might just be making fun of me with this ask bc I know i do nothing but talk about cats however I am taking it seriously so if that is not what you wanted please look away now!

to recap: lan xichen = orange boy cat

also disclaimer - we do not do cat breeds here. no sir. we also discourage you from reading too much into cat stereotypes. all cats are individuals it is really not much to do with their colour or gender. also we do not know why we are referring to myself as we, but that's just how it is now. blah blah blah.

as for the rest :

lan wangji = big tortoiseshell energy. I know that they are only female but I think honestly that is just very gender of him. so he's like one of those really puddingy tortoiseshell cats, will whack u if u pet him wrong, will curl up on ur lap and be the warmest ball of fluff if u Behave

wei wuxian = not to be predictable but he's a black cat. one of those that has silly time every night at 3am. sometimes he disappears for three days at a time but he always shows back up when u least expect it, covered in mud and sometimes with his ear split

jiang cheng = let's be honest he's probably grey. like a really sleek grey cat that u would see on a cat food advert. despite his appearance he will hiss and growl at Anything That Moves. he has his people that are His People and the rest should Stay Away Or Get Scratched.

jiang yanli = old lady tabby cat. she probably has no teeth but is the gentlest little cat you ever have met. instantly your friend, and will chirp at you because You Are Her Kitten Now

nie huaisang = okay. so. one time I met this cat that was like. super pretty, white cat, blue eyes, lil bit fluffy, you know the type. shoulda been called duchess except i think her name was sapphire but yknow. everyone who met her was like oh she's the most gorgeous cat I've ever met! and they were WRONG. she was purely evil, literally a demon. her meow sounded like metal screeching. she did not know what a litter tray was. she was plotting my death. and no, she never even scratched me. but I bet that when I hit my head on the door on the way out that was her fault. so that's nie huaisang.

nie mingjue = big Big street cat with the cheekies, been straying for years, probably doesn't have a full tail or his ears intact, his nose is all scritchy scratchy. HOWEVER. once you gain his trust it is over for you hoes. he will literally fall over onto you and rest his entire weight on you for affection. a good boy.

jin guangyao = I don't know but he has really big ears. probably a silver tabby. always squinting at u, and yes that means cat friendship. but u have a sneaking suspicion he has gone beyond cat body language

jin zixuan = fluffy tabby cat. insists that you brush him three times a day at precise hours. probably has a fainting couch and glass dishes like that tumblr cat, you know the one.

wen qing = again I'm not sure about colour, maybe another grey cat. she doesn't care about you and she wants you to know it. however, if you are sad, she will mysteriously appear in the same room as you. but it was an accident.

wen ning = a kitten. very stupid and will fall over himself trying to get attention. like when u scratch at the base of his tail he will stand up so high that he goes head over heels.

xue yang = like a version of Wei wuxian except that he's Actually Feral and his whiskers are all missing and he's the scruffiest cat you ever did see. but he Wants that tuna and you Will give it to him.

xiao xingchen = another orange boy cat, but a very fluffy one with white paws and chest. knows he is pretty and would like belly rubs about it please and thank u

song lan = i am running out of cats at this point. probably another grey one though. no touchy.

okay that is a good place to stop I am so sorry

[my-one-true-l]

Hello thanks for the hcs for Little one they made my day! ❤ I'll ask you something if you don't mind! What do you think of how little the Wammy boys participated in the anime, the change they made to Near in the anime, and the fandom's hatred of the Wammy boys? Especially the hatred towards Near and Mello...

Hello Dear Anon! I am SO SORRY this got buried in my asks!!! I’m so glad you enjoyed my HCs for Little One. That makes me incredibly happy!🤗

Honestly, as much as I like the Anime, I really don’t think it did any of the Wammy Boys justice. They were the main characters for 5 and a half books and got their entire story crammed into 12 episodes (11 if you consider episode 26 is more of a recap???), so it makes sense that they feel lacking.

The worst part, for me anyway, is it felt like when episode 25 came and went, it was a big rush to get the anime over with & in that haste, the characters suffered for it. 

So let’s take a closer look at L’s successors and why they tend to not always be loved among DN fans. (Though keep in mind, regardless of how you look at it, sometime someone just doesn’t vibe with a character and that’s ok. Everyone enjoys fandom in their own way.)

I think a lot of the dislike of Mello comes from the fact that he is reduced to being an over-emotional and irrational hot head that doesn’t seem to think through a damn thing he does and we lose so much of seeing him actually deduce and work towards solving the Kira case. The manga shows so much more to him, his thoughts and reasonings, his “mind palace”. We get to see him think, not just act and it gives his actions (for better or worse) meaning. I don’t feel like the anime does that as well as the manga does.

Near loses all his sassier moments (idk if that’s just me or what, but when I read the Manga, I thought he had some serious guts to do some of the stuff he did, as did Mello, they just were brave in different aspects and wasn’t that the point of them? They were the two halves that could make a superior L? He just comes off as a blander version of himself, which is really a shame, because Near has some beautiful ballsy moments that just don’t hit the same way in the anime.

When Near entered the story, he was in a lose-lose position. He was seen as a “replacement” for L, someone Team L fans had been rooting for for 25 episodes and it’s always hard to step in where another character was already a favorite. Then if you were Team Kira, it felt like this little punk came along and wasn’t worthy to defeat him (where if he had to lose, it should have been to his nemesis and equal L, not his successor).

The issue with how Near is portrayed in the anime is that it feels like he had his knowledge an deductions handed over to him. We don’t see him spend those years rebuilding and reassembling all the work L had done before his death. It’s mentioned in passing and that’s it, and if you are a Near fan his personality is subtly charming and his traits are uniquely his (I never thought he was a “cheap knock off of L”. He was his own character & though admittedly I would have preferred L to have been the one to ultimately take down Kira, Near’s win feels more authentic in the Manga because you see how he got there instead of it being brushed over. We get more of a feel for what Near’s been working on during the last several years in this one panel than we do in the anime (just my opinion).

Maybe if we saw more of how Near got to his win in the anime, with his deductions, his thoughts, and his acknowledgement of getting to that end thanks to those that gave their lives and also that he was just plain lucky, (which I think the Manga does a better job with), perhaps he would be better liked. As much as I will always recommend reading the Manga, for many fans, the first time they ever encountered these characters was the anime, and it’s not always easy to undo your first impression of a character, no matter how well they are portrayed in another medium.

[emrysaf]

Noya - Excited Affection (Pt.1)

Anon! Hope you enjoy this first part. Hopefully, I will get the rest out tonight. I know it hadn’t gotten to the part you’re craving BUT I am a sucka for hurt/comfort/angst/redemption. Sooooooo.. - EmrysA

Noya - E (Excited affection - hug, kiss, pick up and spin)

“Before this week, I never realized that real-life romance isn’t like the movies. Things don’t have to be so serious and intense all the time. You can have intensely serious feelings for someone and be silly with them. You can go from making out to laughing, and back to making out, and that’s okay.”

― Dallas Woodburn, The Best Week that Never Happened

Excitable has always been at the top of the list of words used to describe Nishinoya Yuu. Quickly following was the word ‘intense’. Then, all words after were a gamble depending on how or why you knew him. Your first word to describe him, if asked, would be ‘love’ or ‘amazing’. . . ‘best friend’.

Yeah. You had friend-zoned yourself out of sheer fear, doubt and a certain teacher’s words one day.

//“You are a great student Y/N. You really are going to do great things,” your teacher had said. “But that friend of yours is nothing but trouble. Don’t let him drag you down.”//

Now, if most people had heard that discussion they would assume you started to pull yourself away from Yuu to keep yourself on the good track your teacher had mentioned; most people don’t know shit about you. What really went through your mind after that conversation was the flipside. 

//‘He could never drag me down. They don’t know what they’re talking about. But. . . Could I be? Dragging him down? A lot of the girls in the school have started liking the volleyball boys now that they are starting to win and succeed again.’//

Your thoughts had spiraled after remembering the way Yuu and Tanaka would talk about wanting girlfriends, and the things they said about Kiyoko. She was gorgeous. You didn’t. . . Couldn’t hold a candle to her flame. Plus, if he kept this up and practiced hard and pushed; you knew he could really be something. 

So, despite being friends for as long as you could remember and having had a crush on him since you hit puberty, you decided to let him go. Like you had heard Sensei Takeda say, “They are wingless crows no more.” You had to let him fly, and life was picking up for everyone. He wouldn’t notice.

--------------------------------------

Wrong. You were wrong.

Yuu had noticed right away. First being busy for games, and claiming you were doing extra work so you couldn’t watch practice? Then not being in the library with other university prep students that didn’t have clubs to attend when he tried to find you to walk home after practices? Were you- Were you avoiding him?

To make matters worse, someone had overheard your conversation with your teacher about Yuu’s influence on you. 

//“You are a great student Y/N. You really are going to do great things,” your teacher had said. “But that friend of yours is nothing but trouble. Don’t let him drag you down.”

“Yes Sensei. Thank you. You have given me a lot to think about.”

Watching you walk away, pressed against the wall as still as possible, Ennoshita held his breath. He definitely didn’t think he was supposed to hear that.//

Ennoshita had kept it to himself, almost forgotten it honestly, when he started tallying things in his head. You were around less and less; you practically avoided all the volleyball boys at this point. Polite ‘hellos’ or ‘thank yous’ or ‘see you arounds’, but you were like a ghost. Then there was Nishinoya himself. Mood fluctuations like nothing the team had seen before. True Noya had always had the switch from playful to scary intense for volleyball, but now it was like the flip of a coin. None of the boys knew which Noya they would get. 

It was affecting his game play because the positive intensity he had always exuded now was marred with an almost cruel edge to it. The other boys, mainly the third years, had been talking; trying to figure out the problem, and Ennoshita decided it was time to say something to someone.

Seeing the three third years huddled up with furrowed brows and concerned glances towards the libero had Ennoshita stop warming up and walking towards them. Daichi noticed him coming closer and quickly snapped his mouth closed, effectively stopping all conversation.

‘That’s not suspicious at all,’ thought Ennoshita as he lightly rolled his eyes.

“Hey there Ennoshita. We are just getting ready to-” Daichi was cut off by Ennoshita’s blunt tone.

“I think I know what his problem is,” he intoned while pointing a thumb over his shoulder to Noya screaming at Tanaka that he could hit it harder at him. 

Suga, Daichi and Asahi’s faces all drained a little at being caught out while their eyebrows rose significantly. 

Seeing that was all the response he was going to get, Ennoshita went on to tell about what he’d overheard. “Yeah. . . And, I don’t know if everyone has noticed, but Y/N hasn’t been here for. . . A while.”

The four young crows continued discussing what happened while beginning to get a little upset that you would give up on the spirited libero so easily. And after knowing each other for so long? They were all too busy talking it over; they hadn’t noticed everyone else had finished warming up and had been waiting for their captain. 

Noya decided he’d had enough, he wanted to play some volleyball, damnit! Unfortunately, he caught the tail-end of a recap while the third years and Ennoshita were trying to think of ways to talk to you about the ‘whats’ and ‘whys’.

‘We are here to practice. Why aren’t they taking it seriously anymore. What the hell?!’ Nishinoya thought as he got closer, hand raised to clasp on Suga’s shoulder and speak his mind when he heard it. “D-drag her down?”

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 255: "Hospital”

Previously on BnHA: Aizawa and Present Mic found out their dead best friend Shirakumo was necromanced by All for One and Ujiko and turned into everyone’s favorite villain mom bartender M.D., Kurogiri! Gran Torino and Naomasa were all “hey you guys should talk to him and see if you can restore his memories through the power of friendship” and so they all sat down together to do that. Kurogiri was all “so tell me how is my son Shigaraki Tomura, I love him so much, he is so emo and I must protect him” and Aizawa and Mic were all “THIS GUY HASN’T CHANGED ONE IOTA” and Aizawa started crying and was all “SHIRAKUMO LET’S GET MARRIED AGAIN AND BE HEROES TOGETHER LIKE WE ALWAYS WANTED.” Oh and also we found out Aizawa only fake expelled his previous students and it was just so that he could PREPARE THEM FOR LIFE!! and afterwards they got to go back to U.A. again and live happily ever after. And so basically I’ve lost track of how many hugs Aizawa needs here now but it’s a lot.

Today on BnHA: Shiraguri’s brainwaves start going all wonky and everyone is like “OH SHIT IT’S WORKING” and Aizawa and Mic decide it’s time to shift this drama into overdrive, so they get right up against the glass and start shouting “YOU’RE OUR FRIEND!!” and stuff over and over until IT FINALLY WORKS!! and Kurogiri’s face shifts into Shirakumo’s. Somehow the effect is incredibly sad and moving rather than terrifying as fuck, but unfortunately all Kumo can manage to get out is “hospital” before his mind overloads and he passes out. Fortunately for our heroes, “hospital” is actually an awesome clue which can totally lead them to Tomura and Ujiko’s location if they play their cards right, probably! Or at least Hawks seems really psyched about it, idk. Anyway so the chapter ends with Ujiko going FULL MAD SCIENTIST and wreaking havoc on Tomura’s body in order to -- I’m pretty sure, anyway -- turn him into some kind of fully sentient ultimate high end Noumu. Welllllll shit.

so that sure was a fun little wrinkle last week, huh. the two biggest scanlators deciding that in the spirit of the holidays, they were going to stop translating WSJ series and instead support the official releases out of the goodness of their hearts and definitely not at all because Shueisha was eyeing them threateningly and making little throat-slitting gestures. that was a ride. these are interesting times lol

but at any rate, if this is how it’s going to be for now then I’ll adjust! it is nice to have everyone support the official release, and obviously the image quality is way better, and Caleb’s translations are by and large pretty good. and obviously we’ll get used to reading the chapter on Sundays instead of Fridays (hell, I remember when the SJ leaks still came out on Wednesdays, so it’s not like we haven’t done this same old song and dance before lol). but Friday did happen to be a more convenient day for my schedule personally, so it might take a bit of adjusting for me to figure out what my posting schedule is going to be moving forward

anyways so I’m sorry this recap is so ridiculously late, but here we go at last!

so the Tartarus guard, who by the way is very clearly Seiji’s dad (WHEN ARE THE SHIKETSU KIDS COMING BACK), is tapping frantically at his touch screen even though it’s not doing anything, and he says he’s detecting unusual brainwaves. omg

WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK IT MEANS, OBVIOUSLY THEY UNLOCKED THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP, MAN! THEY DID IT

omfg. the guard just says “he’s agitated.” I’m going to need you to have more hype than that my good sir. please

holy shit Nao

attention everyone, HAS ANYONE SEEN NAOMASA’S FUCKING CHILL, BECAUSE HE SEEMS TO HAVE FUCKING MISPLACED THAT SHIT. someone please explain to this man that there is a time and a place to play good cop bad cop and this is not it. “oh, Shirakumo is starting to recover his memories? well then [busts into the prison cell and grabs him by the collar and slams him against the wall] WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR!?”

(ETA: so apparently Nao’s detective instincts are cleverer than mine. he saw that Kumo was potentially going to emerge, but probably not for long, so he gave him the most important question so he could focus on answering that. good job! still not a lot of chill but hey.)

meanwhile Aizawa is all “if what they said is true I’m looking at my friend’s corpse”, while still crying by the way, and yeah, so MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE. this year Santa decided to change it up and just make everyone real sad. happy holidays

lord he’s leaping to his feet and shouting “WHO DID THIS TO YOU”

meanwhile I can’t stop staring at Present Mic with his tongue sticking out. why are you sticking your tongue out. why are anime characters like this. you know, Stain also used to stick his tongue out. Present Mic U.A. traitor confirmed

also!! so many people have beef with Ujiko, though! pretty soon they will have to take a number and get in line

oh no Kumogiri is malfunctioning

Aizawa’s all “ANSWER ME SHIRAKUMO” and OH MY GOD LOOK AT THIS

I HAVE NEVER SEEN AIZAWA SHOUTA SO INTENSE AND I CAN’T TEAR MY EYES AWAY FROM THE SCREEN AHHHHH

so there’s some more of “WE WANTED TO BE HEROES TOGETHER” and “YOUR NAME IS SHIRAKUMO OBORO” and all of that other “SNAP OUT OF IT ALREADY” stuff, and you’re damn right I am eating ALL THAT SHIT right up, hell yes. IT’S A TROPE FOR A REASON PEOPLE

oh my god

bwo...hh...?

(ETA: I feel like I should explain that although I have a subscription to Viz, I really hate how their chapter viewer is set up, so I read the chapter on one of the vertical scroll-to-read sites instead. I prefer scroll-to-read for a lot of reasons, but the biggest one is so that I can read the chapter slowly (since I’m writing as I go) without spoiling what’s in the next panel. that being said, this next page is one of the few where Viz obviously got it right, so I’ll be posting the full image.)

SDFLSDLFKHSDLKJGOISDJFOSK

（┐° o °  ┐） ( ｣｡╹o╹｡)｣

feelingsfeelingsfeelingsFEELINGS

(ETA: on a reread I am fascinated by the fact that that bandage on his nose actually seems to be A PERMANENT PART OF HIS FACE APPARENTLY lol what.)

READ THE FUCKING ROOM, DUDE. also look how tiny Gran Torino is. he thought we wouldn’t notice through all of our tears. but we did. would you like me to fetch you a box

ha ha ha so now back to the drama

heh so anyway, the fact that this smoke Shirakumo face still looks like a child is straight up destroying me. how are you guys. how is everyone. feliz navidad

FKSLDJSLK HOLD UP

IS HE TRYING TO SAY “SHOUTA”, I CAN’T, I’M?!?!!!!

ADSLFKJALSKDJW

(ETA: I think you can see Shirakumo’s eye rolling back here as he fights against the brainwashing omg. this chapter’s fucking art, though.)

YESSSSSS you keep on ticking off that checklist of clichés, Horikoshi!! I’m so weak for this shit it’s not even funny. actually that’s not true, this plotline is usually hit or miss with me, but I’ll tell you what though, if there’s one guaranteed way to have me freaking the fuck out rather than sighing and rolling my eyes, it’s to have AIZAWA FUCKING SHOUTA be the one pounding on the wall of glass and screaming at his former lover to fight the layers of conditioning waging war on his mind. ohhhhhh god

lol the brainwave detecting screen is losing its fucking shit also and beeping like crazy. this tension is so thick you could plant a flag in it yeesh

is this Kumo remembering stuff??!

(ETA: thank you to the anon who pointed out I posted the wrong image earlier lol.)

why do shounen characters always recall events from a third-person camera view. curse this ambiguous flashback

AHHHHH

HOSPITALLLL ahh what??? “SHOUTA, HOSPITAL.” oh my god. Shirakumo I commend you for not having your first words after dying and being brought back to life and brainwashed for 15 years and then waking up in a straitjacket in a prison cell be, “FUCK ME OH FUCKING SHIT WHAT THE FUCK.” you and I are very different people but I respect that

HOLY SHIT HIS HEAD EXPLODED

so now everyone’s freaking out and we’re zooming in on Kumo’s eye again. by the way this is going to kill me when it’s animated oh god

OH NO THE PANEL WENT BLACK AND IT GOT ALL SILENT

(ETA: hmm I don’t think Caleb Cook knows what “whump” means nowadays. whump is what I wish we had here. instead it’s just lots of hurt but very little comfort. JUST LOTS OF PAIN AND SADNESS.)

Horikoshi please have mercy oh lord. also I see their hands touching, you. they honestly should be gripping each other fucking white-knuckled, this is all very traumatic. I think that if Shouta was holding Mic’s hand while his other hand was pressed against the glass I would probably start sobbing for real

what the fuck

did they knock him back out?? they seem really calm and optimistic about all this lol

oh godddddd

HE’S NOT CRYING YOU’RE CRYING SHUT UP. GOD, MIC, WOULD YOU PLEASE JUST GIVE HIM A HUG ALREADY??

so now they’re bidding farewell to Nao and Gran -- and HOLY SHIT --

okay hold up -- I just realized -- Kumo was trying to give them a hint about Ujiko’s location. holy shiiiiit. PLEASE START INVESTIGATING HOSPITALS, NAO AND GRAN. holy shit the Noumu arc is heating uppppp

Aizawa’s asking what’s happening with Kurogiri now, and I feel like he maybe should have asked that immediately after the fact rather than as an afterthought while they were getting ready to leave but okay

Nao says he kind of “short-circuited or something” and yeah that tracks with what we saw. though it sure does make that “THAT’S ALL FOR TODAY FOLKS, GOOD JOB BOYS, YOU GET A GOLD STAR” business just SUPER WEIRD though, but let’s be real, Nao has been swinging and missing with striking the right tone all day today

and now Gran is apologizing to Mic and Aizawa for the exquisite emotional torture he just put them through, but he says something is bound to come from it. WELL YEAH NO SHIT IT HAD GODDAMN BETTER

Aizawa apparently hasn’t run out of sad/tired/haunted expressions yet, if you can believe it

pretty soon everyone is going to be sad, tired, and traumatized! heh. it’s going to be so fucked up hahaha crying smiling emojiiiii

oh hey and we’re cutting to another flashback of AFO doing what he does best, being callously dismissive of human lives!

this guy. right here. is a rat bastard. for real. also Horikoshi sure picked a hell of a chapter to go all out on the art again, jesus. this is probably the first time I’ve looked at AFO’s fucked up face and actually thought “yep, that’s a mutilated human man” rather than “shouldn’t you be out floating in space with your asteroid friends trying to smash the Millennium Falcon?” so anyways yeah this panel is a big NOPE from me, thank you

but on the other hand, when Horikoshi uses those art powers for good, such as carefully penciling in every last individual hair of Aizawa’s perpetual five o’clock shadow, that I don’t mind so much!

yes. yes good

so now they’re vrooming off, and we’re hanging back with Gran and Nao for a minute

YESSSSS GOOD JOB NAO!!

looooool it’s ringing up the head of the HPSC and her phone’s buzzing and she’s giving it this hella dramatic look. like this is some patented Todoroki-level dramatic whooshing right here

that’s just how dramatic this entire arc is going to be, hopefully

WAIT WHAT’S HAPPENING NOW

IS THAT A CODED MESSAGE FOR HIM TO GO CHECK OUT THE HOSPITAL. AND HOW BUSY ARE YOU, HAWKS. ARE YOU THE “I AM IN SOME DEEP, DEEP TROUBLE” KIND OF BUSY, OR JUST THE STAYING-IN-CHARACTER KIND OF BUSY. YOU CASUAL BASTARD, WHO CAN EVEN TELL WITH YOU, I’LL JUST HAVE TO SCROLL DOWN TO SEE

oh hh my go

“LITTLE LATE TO ASK ABOUT THIS STUFF” so he comes from the Bakugou Katsuki school of tutoring, eh

I love that he actually followed through on explaining the PLF’s philosophy to Twice. and Twice is such a good boy. he’s studying so diligently. look, he didn’t ask to join a doomsday cult, it just kind of happened so now he’s just doing his best to figure it all out

and it definitely was a coded message, then. smoooooth, HPSC lady, smooth. so I wonder if the fact that she gave him a specific hospital implies a time jump. because I don’t think she’d have him investigate just any old hospital until they had a better lead and/or a more solid idea of what they were looking for

lol what the fuck

well I sure do not have any idea what this man is talking about

-- HOSDFLKJDLY SHIT WE’RE CUTTING TO UJIKO WE ARE CUTTING TO FUCKING UJIKO RED FUCKING ALERT!!!

HE’S TALKING ABOUT TOMURA I’M NOT CALMMMMMMMM AHHHHHH

FUCCKLKL FUCK THE WHAT HOLY SHIT WHAT DID HE DO

oh my god oh my god oh m

he made Tomura a Noumu. holy fucking shit that’s what he did. of course. so he’ll be able to possess multiple quirks, but because he benefits from Ujiko’s years of high end Noumu research, his sense of self will remain intact

AND DOESN’T THIS PROCESS JUST LOOK EVER SO PLEASANT. jesus christ. he’s not even allowed to lie down, for some reason this procedure can only be done while he’s hovering over the bed Exorcist-style with his mouth locked open in a silent scream (ETA: or is that actually his laughter we’re seeing?? because this panel wasn’t raw enough already I guess??) while random spurts of blood come chucking out all over the place. well that’s just

and Tomura fucking volunteered for this. how many scores of others didn’t?? holy fucking shit Ujiko. it’s not easy to be the most evil man in a chapter where a foil-wrapped potato with eye holes started waxing poetic about all the children he harvested and killed like some kind of bloodthirsty sommelier, but YOU FOUND A WAY. dancing a fucking jig while your so-called masterpiece is being gruesomely tortured in the foreground. man if there’s any justice in the world, we’ll find out in this arc that Ujiko used science to make himself immortal so that once he’s finally captured they can just keep killing him over and over again. I do not like him!!

so that’s it! we really are doing this thing, holy shit. Noumu arc here we come. see you guys next decade har dee har

[ladyfl4me]

Hi please yell about boyd and stern in TCOS and TMWCIFTC :D!

Anon, THANK YOU for enabling me, you have my fucking life in your hands

I’ll preface all of this by saying that everything in this post is related to my long-form Amnesty works, The Moth who Came In from the Cold and The Children of Sylvain. If you haven’t read those, then you’ll be pretty damn confused, so I guess now is as good of a time to plug them - and the series - as any. A heads up: I started it back in 2018, and everything in TCOS is just… very VERY loosely associated with Amnesty canon at this point. Same root premise, same characters, but back in 2018 even I couldn’t predict where arcs 4 and 5 ended up going. TMWCIFTC was written as the logical progression, in my head, of an alternate arc 4, and everything that happened in TCOS is based off of that progression. It’s got almost no connection to the actual canon at this point. I’ll be recapping some of the more important plot points for context, though.

Here’s hoping the read-more works. This was 7 pages long in the google doc I prepared this in, so I apologize in advance to everyone on my dash if this got fucked up. Spoilers for TMWCIFTC ahead, as well as general vague spoilers for Amnesty.

So everything’s coming up roses. Fantastic. Let’s start with the biggest thing: how the characters of Agent Stern and Boyd Mosche have changed from canon to this AU.

Boyd’s Changes:

We’ll start with Boyd, because this motherfucker is UNRECOGNIZABLE from canon. On god, that is all Griffin’s fault. Pretty much all of Boyd’s character was concentrated in arc 4 of Amnesty, and honestly? He was a fantastic character there. Loved him as a counterpart to Ned. He gave off an air of “the ends justify the means” in almost everything he did - especially how he was willing to do anything, including blackmail Ned to hell and back, to get back to England - which I’ve grafted into my version of him. The angst-loving part of my brain seized on the tragic possibilities of his relationship with Ned and was bumping “No Children” by the Mountain Goats every time they interacted. Great stuff, interesting complexity, was genuinely surprised when he kicked it.

All that happened after I introduced him as a character in TMWCIFTC. My version of him retains the smooth-talking Britishness of him, with the aforementioned “ends justify the means” logic for everything; I’d probably sort him as a chaotic neutral, with basically all of his points in wisdom, charisma and strength with very few in intelligence. I tried to work with that for the start. We knew nothing about Boyd at the time I was writing TMWCIFTC, so my brain wanted to fill in that blank for jokes and giggles and haha funny’s and was like, “Yo what if Boyd was a Sylph this entire time? Wouldn’t that be fucking hilarious?” 

And that’s what I did. What happened to make this version of Boyd was a bit of a random “perfect storm” of influences and choices, which really only got sharpened because of my one-shot The Devil Went Down To Georgia. That one’s the main source of all Boyd lore, even though I barely reference it these days because he’s gone so far off the rails it’s a miracle I can keep him straight. 

I’ve talked about The Devil Went Down To Georgia a lot in relation to Boyd on here. TL;DR, I decided to make him two things: a violinist and a Sylph/cryptid, specifically the Jersey Devil. Yes, he is still British. I chalk it up lore-wise to a few things: the original Jersey Devil is more of a distant relative, Boyd crossed over from Sylvain and ended up in Britain sometime after that, and just willingly chose to keep up the British persona Bastard. I don’t think about it too much. He’s been a criminal from the very beginning; he’d been in prison on Sylvain, went through some shit there that made him steal a crystal and book it, and he continued to do crime on Earth to survive.

The violin thing is mostly me desperately wanting a character to have that background, because I played for seven goddamn years and want to put that knowledge and catharsis somewhere. Boyd probably either picked up a Sylvan instrument that was similar, or learned it in the early 20th century when he came to Earth, and just held onto it. He held onto the skills and got good - good enough that he could have gone professional, and tried in 2007, but that didn’t go super well, as anyone who’s read TMWCIFTC can attest. 

In terms of the type of cryptid he is, I’ve made the Jersey Devils a subspecies on Sylvain that takes cervids (deer, moose, etc.) or bovines (goats, antelopes, cows, etc.), as well as canines/felines of any shape and size, puts them into a gashapon machine with pterodactyl-style wings, awful teeth, and a snake’s tail, and calls it a day. You can get a tiny Jersey Devil that’s a combo of a tiny cat and a dik-dik; you can get a jacked nine-foot-tall terrifying amalgam of a lion and a moose, with a fucked-up mouth of multiple rows of teeth and huge claws.

That last one is Boyd. Don’t call me a monsterfucker for this, I have no defense.

So where does that leave him in relation to the Lodge? Back in 2018, before I started developing the lore that factors into TCOS about Sylph communities outside the Lodge (namely the Manhattan Sylphs that Leo worked with when he was a Chosen One), I figured that it’d be funny if every single cryptid kinda just… knew each other, or hung out near the Lodge. As you know if you’ve read TMWCIFTC, he got into some trouble in 1967, which Barclay, Indrid and Mama “bailed him out of.”

Once they found out he was a fellow Sylvan, though, it became less about “report this guy to the authorities” and more about “we have to make sure we keep an eye on this guy so he doesn’t get himself, or other Sylphs, in trouble” thing. He basically became Mama’s mostly-socialized half-feral cat, slinking through the halls of Amnesty Lodge, eating random food, falling asleep wherever, sitting in rooms where people are doing interesting things and just watching them. And everyone... kind of likes him. Sure, he doesn’t have a sleep schedule, and they have to get soundproof panels installed in his room at the Lodge because he’ll stress-practice violin at 3 in the morning, and he keeps shoplifting stuff from local stores to give to people like a cat bringing back dead mice. But he’s a good man. And he’s getting better every day.

Then he got got by the Ashminder in ‘98. He bolted, completely forgot everything about the Lodge but had the address of a former Lodge resident on his body after his memory was wiped, found a still-alive but memory-wiped fellow Lodge dweller, and fled to that address. Boyd lived there for years, trying to clean up his act and try to anchor himself a bit. Then in 2007, something on his path went wrong, and the stress break he went through after that made him run from that place. That’s when he met Ned, and they had a few years together before Boyd ended up in jail.

Then, once they killed the Ashminder and the memories it had eaten came back, Voidfish-style, Boyd remembered everything: the people who’d taken care of him, the friends he’d made, the love he’d found, the time and effort he’d put into getting better, the rewards he’d reaped because of it. He remembered fighting monsters and defending them. He got hit with it all at once, and missed them. His parole date was coming up; he could bide his time until he was released, and run down there.

But then, at the start of TCOS, Something Happens that makes all Sylvan disguises and spells shit the fucking bed; his disguise spell, which has been hiding a nine foot-tall jacked demon out of hell, flickers, and the invisibility spell that had been put on his disguise item to hide it failed. Boyd knew he was fucked if the jail folks found out he was a Sylph, so he decided to fucking Kool-aid Man out of there, becoming a wanted man in the entire state of West Virginia and getting a bit roughed up in the process.

But hey. Whatever it takes to get home, right? 

Stern’s Changes:

Stern’s changed too, though, and here’s how. It was relatively simple to tweak him, because so much of him was a blank slate to begin with. First: that name. Garfield Kent Stern is his full name: Garfield for the cat/Deals Warlock, Kent after Kent Mansley, the irritating dipshit FBI agent antagonist from the classic animated movie The Iron Giant. Poor bastard. He started as a walking meme who I was going to kill off; I came up with that name long before we got his real name in canon, and didn’t want to retcon it out. 

I’m a sucker for secret connections and familial ties, too, and back in 2018 the headcanon gashapon gave me “what if Stern was a cousin of Duck’s, but there was family drama that made their parts of the family split when they were kids, so now 30 years later they don’t remember each other?” 

And that’s exactly what I did. Gary is Duck’s first cousin on Duck’s mom’s side; their mothers are sisters. Gary’s uncle Arnie was a Secret Service agent who tangled with an Indrid trying to stop the Kennedy Assassination once, and he keeps telling that story at Christmas, much to everyone’s chagrin. Gary remembered those stories, and even received Indrid’s old disguise glasses - knocked off his face during his uncle Arnie’s chase - and carried them with him for a long time.

He didn’t start off as a baby cop, though; he was more interested in hitting the books, finding out the logic and doing the research to figure things out. I have him become a history major, getting a PhD with a few bits and bobs here and there that I haven’t worked out yet. Whatever the case, he spent a LONG time in academia, from undergrad starting in 1996 to graduation in about 2005. 

Things weren’t as peachy as he thought they’d be, though. Gary wrote and published his thesis, like a good little PhD candidate, but someone was watching him. In his thesis, he’d been trying to cobble together various cryptid-related legends across the word and making connections between them, among other things. He’d managed to link up and explain something that Unexplained Phenomena had been trying to figure out themselves. They immediately intercepted his thesis, kept it from being disseminated anywhere else, erased all copies of it after graduation, and reached out to Gary independently to bring him on.

Make no mistake: he went willingly. Despite the whole thesis coverup, Agent Gary Stern wasn’t coerced into being a government stooge, and he wasn’t blackmailed - he was given an offer to work with the cryptid cops, and he enthusiastically took it. Government benefits were decent, he’d heard; post-grad options were looking slim, especially going into the recession. In his mind, there was a bit of allure to it all, too. A secret government organization looking into suspicious and possibly supernatural things all over the nation? Fantastic. More opportunities to do research. He was in. Gary accepted their offer and started basic FBI training in 2007 - the same year Boyd had that mental break and went AWOL, returning to his life of crime and meeting Ned.

Biggest mistake he’d ever made. But then again, if he didn’t take them up on that, he wouldn’t be here, would he?

So he joins UP, goes up the ranks. They had him researching and charting the Bigfoot case for a while, and he was the only one who was willing to work on it at all because… well, Bigfoot sightings weren’t as sophisticated as some of the other projects that were out there for UP. (See: Area 51. We don’t talk about Area 51. Nobody talks about Area 51. Definitely nothing shady and unethical going on in there, no experiments on anyone or anything, no sir.) 

Gary’s diligent, though, and doesn’t like to back down from a challenge. That’s all hunting Bigfoot was: a challenge. No personal stake, no empathy. It was a job to get done, even though an entire person’s life was at stake.

And he got so caught up in this challenge that, when he went to Kepler, he EASILY got attacked by the Ashminder and destroyed within an inch of his life. He got the very memory of his job and intent in Kepler torn out of his head; once the Ashminder died, and those memories came back, they didn’t feel like his anymore, or like they’d been part of his life plan to begin with. Overcome with confusion and guilt, he decided to clean up his act and try to work against the FBI, with Mama’s blessing. 

His goal? Quit the FBI, get them off the Lodge’s back, and then see what happens next. Maybe he’d go back to academia, or teach, or something - just get as far away from the FBI as possible, as far away as he can be from hurting people. But he’s got to bide his time, because if he bolts now, they’re going to get suspicious and put the Lodge in even more danger. And that’s where he is now.

So why have they changed?

Simple answer? I don’t want to rewrite them to fit with canon. I just don’t. I don’t want to make Boyd human; I don’t want to change Gary’s name to Joseph and make him a Bigfoot groupie. I don’t want to rewrite hundreds of thousands of words of work to fit last-minute decisions made in the end times of Amnesty’s canon. My fic has diverged so much from canon that the canon versions of the characters don’t belong here anymore. Besides, Stern was such a background character in arcs 3 and 4 that he barely mattered, making his reappearance in arc 5 a bit of a clumsy follow-through, and Boyd was a one-act wonder. A little expansion couldn’t hurt. Making Gary something other than a direct antagonist made the narrative load a little easier, too, at least on my end. I hate giving a cop screen time, but it’s easier to justify his existence by rewriting his backstory and making him slog through the hell of a redemption arc. He’s had that coming. 

This leads us to TCOS, though, where the arcs of our player characters turn a bit more towards the plot, as opposed to the emotional fulfillment they got in TMWCIFTC. Characters like Gary, Mama, Boyd, and Alexandra take center stage for emotional and backstory development, while the original player characters take a temporary backseat. Alexandra’s a key linchpin of the story as a whole, both emotionally and narratively; Mama gets lore expansions and has personal things to settle; and Gary and Boyd are… here. So:

How do these two work with each other in TCOS?

It’s great. It’s fantastic. These two are my favorite to write in TCOS because their conflict is just so fucking FUN. On the one hand, you have an almost-ex-FBI agent who’s been taken in by the Lodge, is related to a Pine Guard member, is trying to keep his coworkers off the Lodge’s back as sneakily as possible without drawing suspicion, and is desperate not to screw up this second chance he doesn’t think he deserves. On the other hand, you have an ex-con who got a second chance from the Lodge, sees them as his last best option to be safe as long as nobody reports them, and wants to keep them safe out of a sense of familial obligation he’s reluctant to admit to, even to himself.

That’s two people with questionable morals, with a semi-familial attachment to a place that gave them second chances, each seeing the actions of the other as a threat to their - and everyone else’s - safety. Claws come out almost immediately.

At the start, Boyd and Gary go together like apple juice and toothpaste. Boyd sees a narc who’s threatening the one safe place he has left; Gary sees an impulsive, selfish threat, a domino that - if it falls - threatens, you guessed it, the one safe place he (and other people, sure) has left. Boyd breaking out of jail means the entire state of West Virginia, and probably the whole East Coast, is on high alert looking for him, and if that attention comes anywhere near the Lodge? They’re fucked.

Neither of them believe that the other is capable of change or anything but selfish, malicious harm. Boyd has more of an argument than Gary because Gary is still actively reporting things to the FBI, but in Gary’s defense, the moment that he stops reporting anything to them, they’re going to suspect things and might end up sending more people to the Lodge. The Pine Guard can’t afford that, so Gary has to play by the rules until he’s in a position where he can quit. I’ll pull a specific argument they have from TCOS that I feel really exemplifies this:

"I don't want you to get caught."

Boyd scoffed. "Something tells me you're not worried about me."

"I'm not."

"Well, thanks."

"I'm worried," Gary went on, "about someone seeing you, and connecting you to the Lodge. You just used the hot springs as your personal landing strip, in broad daylight. We're on the upper half of the mountain. And I don't know how big your Sylvan form is, but -"

Boyd grinned. It looked more like a snarl. "Oh, plenty big enough," he said.

Gary ignored that. "Big enough for someone to see you from down the mountain?" he challenged. Boyd's lip curled, and he looked away. "Yeah, that's what I thought. I'm just thinking ahead. What if someone came beating down our door looking for you? What if it was a cryptid hunter? What if it was the cops?”

"Yes, yes, fine, alright," Boyd snapped. He threw his hands up. His eyes were hard and cold. "It'd put us in danger. I get it. But you're still here. I think the damage is already done."

A knot of cold rage formed in Gary's stomach. "I'm trying to keep this place safe, Mr. Mosche," he spat. "I've got a responsibility to keep."

Boyd scoffed. "Oh, you have a responsibility? To Amnesty Lodge? That's fucking rich."

"You've got one, too! It’s about time you started keeping it!"

They’re both very, very set in their ways and their ideologies, and they take a long time to get to middle ground. 

One of my friends described it as middle child syndrome in overdrive. Gary thinks Boyd’s the Lodge golden child, come to replace him in the Lodge inner circle. Boyd thinks Gary’s the Lodge’s new redemption-arc fixer-upper, come to replace him. And both of them feel thrown off by that, because they both thought that the Lodge was accepting them completely into the inner circle. It’s unfamiliar, it’s confusing, and when the Lodge as a whole regards them both with suspicion/unease (Gary) and polite detachment due to the passage of time (Boyd), it makes them both feel on the outside.

And when you’re in the same shitty canoe, you’ve gotta row it or sink. So that’s exactly what they do. 

Ultimately, they get faced down with bigger and worse foes that snap them out of their spat, because their common interest is “keeping the Lodge safe” and uniting will help them get there. When they do start to have each other’s backs, though, that’s when they reluctantly start to get to know each other. Gary feels like something’s off about Boyd and eventually suspects - thanks to some comments from Haynes and some digging of his own - that Boyd had something to do with the fire that burned down Aubrey’s house, but it remains to be seen what he’ll do with that information. (The Gary of November 2018 would have turned Boyd in to the FBI. The Gary of almost six months later, though… a different story. It’ll be interesting.)

The kicker is, they’re both really similar, at the heart of it. Both of them were the Lodge’s fix-em-up pet projects, brought into the fold in an emergency and protected/cared for as long as they swore to clean up their act. They see each other and feel a bit out-of-place, though - something contributed to by the way the Lodge treats them.

Gary’s still held at a distance by many, despite being Duck’s cousin and a mostly-valuable member of the team, because the stench of the FBI is still on him - how he dresses, how he walks and talks, how he acts. And Boyd has just swanned back to the Lodge after 20 years gone, with all his memories of the Lodge from back in ‘98 driven back into his mind - and part of him is expecting the Lodge to be the exact same way it was when he left. But it’s not. You can’t go home again. The Lodge has moved on without him, which he never expected, and coming back to them is… awkward.

It’s simple. They don’t know what to do with a version of Boyd who’s missed the past 20 years of their lives; Boyd doesn’t know what to do with people who have changed from the folks he knew 20 years ago. He’s lost, floating, and alienated, like going to a high school reunion after not having spoken to a living soul since graduation. It sucks for him. And the only wholly unfamiliar face there, other than the main Pine Guard - who he’s mostly fine with, except for Ned - is Gary, and he can’t help but be irritated with him. That changes, though.

What I essentially want to do is set these versions of the characters up as foils. Similar characters, similar pasts, similar situations that got them to this point. All that’s different is how far in their respective arcs they are. So I’m going to have them be friends. Give each other a chance in the face of a bigger threat, open up a little more, have conversations, talk about things with each other because they’re the only ones around to listen. The Lodge gave them second chances when they needed them most. Maybe they can do that for each other.

This is also to say, I would be a massive fucking liar if I say I haven’t considered having that unfold into a rivals-to-lovers arc. Yeah, I said it. I’ve considered it, at length and in serious detail, since I started drafting the arcs for TCOS. In fact, that’s what I’m probably going to do. I’ve gotten too hooked by the possibility to give it up. I outlined hypothetical futures for the whole cast after the final battle in Sylvain and, given the things I want to happen in that battle and the messy post-war fallout, it makes sense that these two would gravitate towards each other.

It makes a lot more sense in context, believe me. They’ve got a long row to hoe before they trust each other enough to become friends, or even push the envelope towards a romantic relationship - they’d have months and even YEARS to wait to pull that off. Whatever I end up doing with them, they are easily my favorite part of TCOS to unravel, mostly because I  - and, honestly, everyone else - probably never saw it coming.

Thanks for the ask, anon. This made my week. So sorry for the long response, but I have so many thoughts on what I’m doing with these idiots, and putting them down on paper was really fun. Any other questions or comments about this? Fire away, I’d be more than willing to answer! 

[something-tofightfor]

Hello, new friends!

I’ve gotten a bunch of new followers in the past couple months, and just wanted to do kind of a mini-update to introduce myself to all of you. 

First of all: 

Thank you for following! And thank you to those of you that have gone through and liked, commented and reblogged my posts. A huge thank you to the people that have felt comfortable reaching out through DM or my ask box just to say hello or start up a conversation.

As we all know, Tumblr is kind of a shit show - so I occasionally miss alerts or messages or asks, but I always try to respond to everything that you guys send. (Replies to comments on individual stories and chapters are a different story ... I do my best, but I am probably VERY behind.) 

Now, under the cut: a little more about me!

My name’s Rachael. I’m from us US, and am in EST - smack dab in the middle of the midwest. (Yes we have corn. And Cedar Point.)

Not married, but in a LTR. No kids. One cat, and he is a little prince. 

I’m a writer by trade - but the content I typically write for work is nowhere near as fun and the stuff on here.

My masterlist can be found in my header (and it’s my pinned post; link H E R E)

I write specifically for Ben Barnes characters, and though my requests aren’t closed, I don’t have any interest in expanding to other characters at the moment (aside from other characters in the shows/movies that I occasionally will write for and in the POV of.) 

I currently will write for: 

Benjamin Greene

Billy Russo 

Logan Delos

King Caspian

Samuel Adams

Ryan Brenner

Ben Barnes (though I won’t write anything not in the Exit Row/Highway One universe for him)

I *do* take requests, but I won’t compromise the way that I view characters just to fit a request - even if it’s just dialogue. 

I don’t write characters with children/pregnancies, and I am incapable of writing straight fluff - especially for characters like Logan and Billy. If you want character names and Ben Barnes’ face but few similarities to actual characters, this isn’t the blog for you. I tend to follow canon (at least in terms of characteristics) most of the time. 

I try to tag all of my posts, just to make it easier on people when they’re filtering, or trying to find something on my blog.

Common tags:

#ask something-tofightfor is the tag I use when people send me messages or ask me questions and I reply, or I post games and things

#rachael reads and responds is what I use when I’m reblogging other people’s works / things I think people should read

#this is what dreams are made of is the tag I use when I reblog Ben Barnes gifs or photosets because honestly, he is a dream and it’s true.

#logan delos deserved better ... explains itself, I think. Because it’s also true.

#my friends have talent for artwork reblogs, other people’s events, etc

If you send something in, or I repost an ask, or write something for you, I’ll always tag it with your username, too. 

So, to recap:

If you want to message me or say hi? Please do. I sleep like 4 hours a night, so I’m usually always around. I’m not as much of a bitch as my blog would make it seem sometimes.

Send in your requests, questions, thoughts, etc. ALWAYS - don’t feel like you need to ask if it’s alright. If it’s something I don’t want to answer, or cannot answer... I’ll reach out privately if you’re not on anon... or answer truthfully when I repost.

 It’s easier for me to keep track of requests sent in via ask, but some people have sent them through messages, since there’s no word limit. 

Anon is on, and will stay on. If it makes you feel better to send nasty messages without your name attached - go for it. You want to try to start shit? That’s fine too. It doesn’t bother me. On the flip side, if it makes you feel more comfortable to have a conversation or leave a comment on anon, that’s perfectly fine, too. I get it - and that’s why it’s on.

I am very honest. If you ask my opinion on something, you get it. This means questions in general, writing questions, asking me to beta a story or a chapter ... all of it. When it comes to writing, I’m not here to blow smoke up your ass. If you’re asking those questions, you should want to know the truth. That’s the only way to improve - and if you’re asking for other people’s opinions, it means that you value those opinions... don’t ignore what people tell you or the feedback they give.

I do have a close-knit group of friends on here, but that doesn’t mean I am not interested in talking to people and making new friends. You follow me for a reason - so please, don’t hesitate to reach out if you feel like it.

I’m here to interact with people. That’s the whole point of having a blog like this. I’ve been out of work since May, and haven’t really seen more than a handful of my friends in almost a year because of COVID. I crave interaction. I am an extrovert, and this lockdown is slowly draining whatever is left of my cold, black little soul. 

Though I would love to get to know you better, I keep the list of blogs I follow very small, just because I know what I want to see on my dashboard. It’s nothing against you personally - post what you want! But I find that I tend to miss things I’m looking for when I follow people that reblog one thing after another - and since notifications so rarely work as they should, this is the compromise. 

If you made it this far, check out @harrislaserworks ... because their stuff is fantastic and absolutely perfect as gifts! 

[tjkiahgb]

Episode Recap: 3.18, “Something to Talk A-Boot”

I got sent this almost immediately after people were able to stream the episode last night:

First of all, thank you, anon, for thinking of me.

But also, honestly? This entire episode feels like it was written specifically for me. TJ Kippen being a hashtag good boi? Check. A bunch of Tyrus scenes? Check. A couple of random, nonsense plots that I could make jokes about for days? Check and check!

The episode starts with Andi, Jonah, and Cyrus hanging out, waiting for Buffy.

Andi is dressed like she just walked out of a punk show in 1970s London for some reason.

Cyrus says Buffy’s on her way. She’s coming from an appointment. Andi’s like, but she’s not doing her hair until next week and Cyrus notes that she just had her teeth cleaned.

Jonah notes how they seem to know everything about Buffy and they’re like, yeah, we do.

And then Buffy comes hobbling over on crutches and with her foot in a boot and Andi and Cyrus look around in confusion.

So it’s that level of closeness where you know someone’s entire schedule but don’t pay attention to them complaining about their foot pain for weeks or notice them badly limping around places.

They ask her questions about this mystery injury. Buffy explains it’s a stress fracture she got because she tried to run a marathon on a dare.

Jonah asks her if she’s going to be able to still play basketball and Buffy’s like, yes...

And Jonah’s like, “Oh you know what I meant.”

At school the next day, Buffy walks the long way through the football field to class, when TJ shows up in a golf cart like an angel sent from the country club.

Buffy wants to know what he’s doing. He tells her he’s there to give her a ride to class, since apparently Jefferson offers no assistance to injured students.

“Can we offer a way to help incapacitated students get around the campus easier?” asks one of the teachers. “So they don’t risk further injury?”

“No, sorry,” says Metcalf, staring at rows and rows of hundreds of white rabbits locked in cages, each one labelled with the name of a student currently attending Jefferson. “There’s just no room in the budget.”

Buffy tells him how it stinks she hurt herself right before the last game of the season and now she can barely get around. So, he tells her, get in the golf cart already so he can get her to class. She does.

Making sure she uses a seatbelt on a vehicle that’s going no more than four miles per hour? I mean, talk about good behavior.

Later at the Spoon, Buffy talks about how far TJ has come. He used to be the worst but now he’s the best and, really, that’s like as far as you can go. That’s the whole span.

Cyrus is like, lemme just take this modeling pose...

...and put another point up on the scoreboard for the ol’ C-dog.

Behind them, Amber comes and dumps some girl’s food on the counter.

Andi notices and says it seems like Amber’s still struggling because she’s being a terrible waitress, but not in the normal way that she’s a terrible waitress.

Jonah’s like, you think this is my fault? Buffy’s like, I don’t think it’s an existential crisis. Jonah’s like, huh?

Well, sure, it could be that, but, if you’re not feeling artistic, it could also just be locking yourself in a dark room for several hours and crying. It could manifest a lot of different ways! Don’t limit your existential crises.

Amber comes over and asks to talk to Jonah.

Jonah apologizes for doing a bad job of breaking up but Amber doesn’t want to go back over all of that. She just wants one thing from Jonah: for him to leave. Don’t come to The Spoon because it makes her sad to see him.

And now it’s costing her money!

Jonah says he’ll go then. Amber says he won’t have to be gone for long, but also can’t really put a time frame on when he can come back.

I wonder how the owners of The Spoon are going to feel when they learn one of their waitresses banned a frequent customer from eating at their establishment.

Jonah tells the GHC that Amber needs some space, so he gathers his things and heads out into the cold.

At Bex’s, Bex and Bowie watch something funny on a really old TV.

It looks like one of those old microwave-sized boxy TVs with antennas and dials and everything from like the 1960s. One of these things:

The kind that’s technically a color TV, but only like four colors, and most of them have a brown tint. The kind that’s so grainy it looks like you’re watching everything through a coffee filter. The kind that emits the constant low-hum of radiation to let you know it’s working.

Where did they even find something like this? It’s older than they are. And how does it still work? I want to say this is the kind of thing you only find at your grandma’s house, but even grandmas got rid of this outdated scrap 30 years ago.

Also, why?!

I’m not exaggerating when I say nowadays there are literally thousands of better options for entertainment than stacking a bunch of tray tables on top of one another and putting a 10 inch screen, piece of junk on top. What point are they trying to prove?

Anyway, Andi’s upset, and not just because she lives with a couple of weirdos. She finished her application to SAVA but she doesn’t know if she’s going to submit it. She’s worried she might not be one of the small group who gets accepted. She asks Bex what she thinks.

Andi’s like, EXCUSE ME?!

Andi wanted her to say that she was talented and that she believed in her. Bex is like, of course I believe that! Haven’t I said that to you like hundreds of times? Andi’s like, well, you didn’t say it in the last thirty seconds so do you really??

Andi gets up to leave. Bex is like, hey, if they don’t accept you, it’s because they’re wrong and dumb! Andi’s like, OH SO YOU DON’T THINK THEY’RE GOING TO ACCEPT ME!?

Bex is taking a beating like a boxer on the ropes here. It’s like, why is everything I’m saying wrong?! PLEASE TELL ME WHAT TO SAY SO YOU DON’T GET MAD AT ME!

Bex says she wasn’t saying Andi wouldn’t get in.

Andi leaves.

Bowie’s gotta be sitting there going, “Boy, I made the right decision to just not say anything.”

He asks Bex why she didn’t just tell Andi she’ll get in.

It’s a tough line to toe. You want to be realistic with your children, and not set them up for an emotionally crushing blow by telling them “Get all your hopes up! Nothing can hurt you!” but you also don’t want to damage their self-esteem. You can see Bex battling with the nuance of the issue.

Or, as Andi would’ve heard it:

At school the next day, Cyrus finds TJ out on the bleachers. TJ’s been summoned to Student Court, which is where a group of students figure out your punishment for a wrongdoing.

Mr. Bag is forcing TJ to go because TJ took his beverage transportation machine.

Cyrus is like, but you were just being a hashtag good boi! And TJ’s like, I know! And now I’m being hashtag persecuted for it!

Cyrus, seeing an injustice, decides he’s going to be TJ’s lawyer. TJ tries to tell him that’s not a thing, but Cyrus is like, too late! Train’s already left the station! I’m off to steam my lawyer suit. And he leaves.

TJ watches him like, “Uh oh, maybe I gave him too much confidence.”

Andi, meanwhile, debates with herself as she stares at the SAVA website.

Okay, I mean, in fairness to Bex, Andi’s awards are first place at a “Sew and Show”(?) and an honorable mention at the County Fair, so, you know, I wouldn’t say she’s a lock to get in.

Also, I like SAVA’s go big or go home attitude. There’s no save progress button. Submit your application or delete the entire thing and get out. Don’t waste our time with half-measures!

Jonah stops by to terrify Andi.

For old times’ sake.

She slams her laptop closed. He asks her what she was working on but she doesn’t want to say yet. She just says she has to make a decision.

Jonah’s like, don’t say the d-word around me. You know I hate that word.

Andi explains how she doesn’t want to say what it is because it might not happen, and she doesn’t want to open up to people about something personal like this, something that she’s so unsure about. And then she’s like, but I guess you couldn’t possibly have any idea what I’m talking about, JONAH BECK.

Jonah’s like, actually, that’s been my life for three years now so...

Andi’s like, okay, without me telling you any details, what should I do?

Jonah says this is making her tense and nervous, so forget about it.

Andi’s like, really? Jonah’s like, yeah, don’t do anything you have trepidation about. Andi’s like, sounds good to me.

Lemme just warn you, kids, following this advice is going to severely confine how you’re able to move through the real world. The real world is nothing but things that stress you out.

Andi thanks Jonah for helping her out and tells him to go.

Jonah’s whole storyline this episode is about people telling him to leave places.

Jonah heads off. Andi opens up her laptop and finds...

...that conversation was all for naught. Honestly, this is what you get for asking Jonah for advice.

Buffy meets with Kaitlin. Kaitlin sees her broken foot and goes, welp, guess that’s it then. We have no chance to win our last game, which she sees as a shame because they were getting so close.

Question: where is she getting this hope from? Last time we saw the team, they were in such shambles that Andi had to play and they lost so badly, they had to resort to celebrating just being alive. Good for her though, for keeping the faith.

Buffy says they still have a shot, that the team is light years better than it was before. I guess that happened off-screen. Either that, or I guess it’s like saying you’re light years better now at driving a car than when you were a newborn. When you start at the bottom, there’s nowhere to go but up.

Plus, Buffy adds, she made a playbook.

Like, yeah, she’s been trying to teach them plays for months and they just kept running into each other, but now that it’s in graph form? How could they not succeed?

Kaitlin’s not feeling it. She doesn’t understand all these complicated dots and arrows and it won’t matter because it’ll never replace having Buffy on the court anyway.

At the trial of TJ Kippen, Gus calls the court to order.

I have to know, how in the world did Gus end up a judge? Who looked at Gus and thought, “There’s a guy who’s got his stuff in order, let’s put him in a position of power.”

Cyrus comes running to the stage, pulling several boxes of files behind him. TJ asks him what all of that is and Cyrus says evidence, but then he’s like...

Where do you even get phone books, plural, in 2019? There’s gotta be a store in Shadyside that’s just called Retro Junk and it sells things like 1960s TVs and phone books and only the characters on this show are keeping them in business.

Cyrus says it doesn’t matter because it’s an intimidation tactic anyway. He’s come to fight to make sure TJ’s not kicked off the basketball team.

Cyrus announces himself as TJ’s defense council. Gus is like, is that a thing? Let me consult with my voiceless co-judges.

Gus’s co-judges voicelessly agree to allow it. Gus says TJ is here to answer for his crime of “Grand Theft Golf Cart.”

Gus asks him to explain himself, so TJ and Cyrus launch into his defense, which boils down to this: he saw someone in need and he did something hashtag good because that’s who he is as a person, and, really, isn’t the real crime here that the school was going to punish an injured child for not being able to drag herself across campus in an unreasonable amount of time? How could any morally conscious person just sit idly by and let that happen?

Gus feels he and his co-judges have heard everything they needed to hear, but Cyrus disagrees. He thinks they all need to hear from a key witness: Cyrus Goodman. Cyrus grills himself.

Gus asks him to speed it up but TJ’s like, I think we have to let this play out.

Then, as his defense attorney continues to argue with himself, TJ tries to come to peace with the fact he’s going to jail.

At Buffy’s house, Buffy hangs out in her room when there’s a knock at the door.

It’s the entire girls’ basketball team.

They were wandering the neighborhood together and wanted to celebrate a season of losing all their games before they lose their last game and then don’t want to celebrate losing all their games anymore. I know that sounds like nonsense but I just described the line of thinking perfectly.

Buffy doesn’t like that attitude as the team’s captain, but as a human being, sitting in the room with baked goods mere inches from her, she agrees to the party.

At Bex’s, Bowie tells Bex he found a postcard from SAVA in the mail.

They both get excited that she applied and she’s going after her dreams. Bex also thinks it’s great that she didn’t accidentally crush Andi’s hopes for the future.

They realize Andi didn’t tell them because she didn’t want them to know she applied, so Bex makes Bowie put the postcard back in the mailbox.

Back at Buffy’s, Kaitlin brings her computer by and asks who wants to watch videos of their old games. She says they’re hilarious. I don’t know about that. Entertaining maybe, in the way that videos of building implosions are entertaining.

They agree to watch the videos. Kaitlin pulls one up of her shooting a free throw in which she legit closes her eyes for a full two minutes before shooting.

Kaitlin’s like, ugh, I’m so terrible and I DON’T KNOW WHY!

Buffy, using all the knowledge and experience she’s picked up from her time as both a basketball player and coach, says hold on, I think I know what the problem is.

She makes her go back and look at the footage again.

OH?! YOU THINK?! COULD THAT POSSIBLY BE IT?! YOU CAN’T PLAY BASKETBALL WITH YOUR EYES CLOSED?!?!?

I’m screaming. This isn’t some subtle thing only a master of the sport would notice like, oh, you’re not lining your feet up right or you’re letting go with your guiding hand too early.

She shut her eyes!

For a long time! Like she’s trying to will herself to sleep.

She shut them before she even looked at the basket to aim for it! What did she think was going on?! When things went pitch black?!

“Okay, so, I’m holding the ball and want to shoot it into the basket. Then things go dark and when the lights come back, I’ve missed the shot. Just what in the world is going on here? Who keeps turning out the lights on me?”

How has this gone on the entire season? Better question, how is Kaitlin able to feed herself? How is she functioning in every day society? There are plants with better problem-solving skills.

Buffy guarantees Kaitlin if she just OPENS HER EYES TO PLAY BASKETBALL, her game will improve.

Then she tells Maria that she’s great at getting open, but that she never calls out to her teammates to let them know.

Buffy’s like, you have to use your voice, Maria.

And Maria’s like...

Lesson learned.

Buffy tells the girls they are better than they think. They can win if they fight for it.

Also, if they don’t shut their eyes for the majority of the game. Fight and keep your eyes open. 1a and 1b.

The girls agree and Buffy hands out her playbooks.

At the game, Buffy pumps up the team.

Armed with confidence and the newfound knowledge that being able to see what you’re doing vastly improves your chances at successfully doing it, the Spikes put up a fight.

Buffy coaches from the sidelines.

You know, I appreciate the wordplay of the “See you in court” sign that that girl is holding, and how it plays into the other storyline of the episode, but, honestly, who is that sign for? Which team wants that? Is that pro-Spikes or pro-Spartans or just... pro-basketball? Pro-wordplay? Does she just want one of the players on the court to see the sign and go, “Huh.” and give her a polite nod or something? What was the goal here?

Buffy continues to coach.

I’d say that’s over-coaching, but there’s a decent chance Kaitlin forgot between the sleepover and the game what the problem was.

The game nears to a close. Maria gets open and does some clapping, but doesn’t really call out to her teammates like Buffy told her to.

Half-credit, I guess. Light years improvement.

Speaking of credit, let’s give some to this loyal group of Spartan fans behind Maria, who show up to every game and sit in their same lucky seats, and wear their same lucky exact outfits.

Because they were there for the last Spartans/Spikes game, too.

You know what, if I had a cool shirt that just said “Weird” on it, I’d probably wear it all the time. I get it.

Anyway, Maria gets the pass and Buffy delivers her best bit of coaching advice yet.

Again, I don’t know that that’s over-coaching. That might be the exact right level of coaching for this team.

Maria’s shot goes in and the Spikes finally win a game. They all celebrate with Buffy.

Then Buffy’s friends storm the court and celebrate with her.

And credit to the girl who’s still waving the pro-Spartans sign even though the game ended several minutes ago. Keep up the spirit.

TJ’s phone buzzes. The court reached a verdict, so he and Cyrus run off to the theater.

Gus has TJ stand so he can read the verdict, and what he and his co-judges have verdicted is:

Cyrus doesn’t take it well.

Or, in other words, this is a KANGAROO COURT!

TJ tells Cyrus to stop fighting. He tells Cyrus he did his best, which... ehhh...

He kept his eyes open at least.

Gus sentences TJ to the harshest punishment allowed by Student Court:

TJ and Cyrus are surprised, but Gus explains they have very little actual authority.

So, wait, if they don’t really have the ability to hand out any kind of actual punishment, why even bother? If you can’t accomplish anything, then let him walk, otherwise you guys are just being jerks and ruining TJ’s lunch.

TJ grabs Cyrus’s shoulder.

I... think that was just supposed to be a joke about prison but... my God that got gay in a hurry.

Gus says court is adjourned and he and the other judges head off to return their robes to the choir while TJ and Cyrus hug.

This whole plot was silly. So so silly.

And I loved every second of it.

Jonah waits for Amber outside The Spoon. Amber spots him and she’s like, I thought I said to get! Scram! He’s like wait, don’t pepper spray me! I just want to tell you something. His dad got a new job and his parents rented a new apartment, which they’re moving into next week.

Amber says that’s great and she’s really glad for him.

Jonah says she really helped him through this tough time. She says he was there for her, too. Before he leaves, Amber offers to get him a milkshake. Not an invite back into The Spoon, mind you. Just a milkshake to go. The Spoon is still off-limits.

Back at school, Cyrus walks out when TJ shows up with another stolen golf cart like a demon sent from the country club.

Cyrus is like, did you learn nothing from your trial? TJ says he lives on the edge. Cyrus says he lives in the middle.

Cyrus gets in and he and TJ drive around the school with gay abandon.

I can’t believe I’m watching a gay teen romcom on the Disney Channel.

At Bex’s, Bex and Bowie spot Andi coming home, so they get in position to play it cool by turning on the TV and putting on one of their weird shows.

“It’s hideous!”

They ask Andi how her day was, hoping to hear about SAVA, but then Andi only tells them about the Spikes game and walks off.

Bex is shaken. Bowie tells her that’s okay. It’s the way it is. Kids don’t tell their parents everything.

Bex is like, yeah, I guess I just thought we were different.

The episode ends with Bex dealing with her greatest fear: she’s becoming her mother.

[ferryboatpeak]

Please please please write the loop hazoff fic, the outline alone was amazing!

anon! can i rap atcha for a bit? because i got the last half of this fic so, so wrong! please accept the following revisions. (thank you to @ticklefightharry​ for putting up with my immediate rescission of the last plot summary and the three subsequent alternate versions.)

so remember the scene where harry falls asleep in Jeff’s old room? i realized that’s got to be way more pivotal. I think Harry has to have reached a point where he’s been pretty upfront with Jeff about being in a Loop– like, starting their days with a recap of “hey, I’m in a Loop, here’s what we’ve been talking about…” (which is a huge relief for Jeff because he doesn’t have to focus so much on pretending to start from scratch every day.) And at this point they’ve pretty much got their plans hashed out, and Harry’s feeling pretty good about it. Maybe he hasn’t found his soulmate yet, but for the first time ever he’s thinking clearly about what happens after 1D, and realizing that there are good people who can be in his corner.

So that morning he shows up at Jeff’s office per usual, and maybe instead of their typical brainstorming/strategy sessions Harry convinces Jeff to take him to lunch, show him a bit of LA? And Jeff takes him somewhere personal and endearing (help me out, LA people, I honestly have no idea what could be personal and endearing in LA). Maybe for lunch Harry’s expecting someplace trendy (the kind of places he associates with LA, the kind of places industry people usually take him to impress), and instead Jeff takes him to the Apple Pan, tells him about how his parents used to go there when they were dating.

Soooooooo, I think Glenne is in this verse. I think that she and Jeff know they aren’t soulmates but they’ve got a fulfilling partnership anyway. They’ve always kind of known that things would have to end if one of them went into a Loop, but they’ve never actually talked about how to do that gracefully. So when Jeff gets into the Loop with Harry, he’s waking up every morning with Glenne, and he can’t just break up with her, because he needs her at the party every night or else Harry’s going to catch on that Jeff’s only pretending that every day’s the same to him. Glenne’s presence in Jeff’s life is one of the main reasons that Harry doesn’t consider the possibility that Jeff could be his soulmate.

Anyway, so Harry tags along with Jeff when Jeff goes home to change before the party, and at Jeff’s house he sees some kind of casual, comfortable domestic exchange between Jeff and Glenne, and he reacts Very Badly without understanding why. So he’s a little out of sorts when he arrives at the party (with them, instead of with his usual escort from the label), and he’s got to put more effort than usual into being utterly charming, and all of a sudden he’s just so, so tired.

He hasn’t fallen asleep in weeks, he realizes. He’s slept, or at least he’s woken up refreshed, but he hasn’t actually lay down in bed and fallen asleep. He’s just reset at midnight, and woken up to start the same day all over again. Suddenly going to sleep sounds like the best thing, the greatest idea.

And Jeff notices. He asks if Harry’s okay, and Harry says he’s just tired, and make some excuse about jet lag, and Jeff says that Harry can use his old bedroom, if he wants to nap it out. He tries to tell Harry where it is, and Harry blinks slowly and looks puzzled, so Jeff says he’ll take him up there.

The noise of the party fades away behind them as Jeff walks him up the back stairway. Jeff moved out of his parent’s house years ago, but they’ve got plenty of space, so there’s been no hurry to repurpose his bedroom into a home gym or a guest room or whatever. It’s just slowly evolving from Jeff’s space into an impersonal space, and Harry hones right in on the few personal details that are left. A soccer trophy? High school yearbooks on the bookshelf? A flyer from one of Jeff’s best prom afterparties? Jeff is endearingly embarrassed, and Harry gives him a break and collapses on the bed and burrows under the duvet.

He catches Jeff by the wrist as he’s about to leave, and tugs him down onto the bed with him. Stay for a bit, Harry says, and Jeff is already committed to doing anything Harry wants for the rest of eternity, so he awkwardly settles in on top of the duvet and lets Harry snuggle up next to him. Harry’s not exactly touch-starved (having had plenty of sex during this Loop), but he is definitely feeling the absence of meaningful touch, what with all of his closest confidantes inaccessible in London and everyone in LA resetting every morning so they’ve got no idea what Harry’s going through. And it’s so nice to be curled up with his head on Jeff’s shoulder, and even though he’s been starting fresh with Jeff every day, Jeff seems to understand him. He’s not Harry’s soulmate, but he’s Harry’s people, at least. With a faint sleepy lisp, Harry tells Jeff’s shoulder, “I’ll find you. When all this is over.”

Jeff goes absolutely still. “You mean that?” he asks into the dark.

“Yeah,” Harry murmurs. “Of course I do.”

Jeff’s hand is gentle on the side of Harry’s face as he tips his chin up into a quiet kiss. This is exactly the kind of little intimacy that Harry’s been missing, and it’s no big deal because Jeff’s not his soulmate, right? In a different world this could affect the working relationship they’ll have someday, but tomorrow’s going to be another Loop and Jeff will never remember this happened. So Harry gratefully lets himself be kissed to sleep, and drifts off happy in Jeff’s old bed.

EXCEPT next morning they wake up right there and all hell breaks loose. Harry’s horrified that Jeff didn’t tell him, and he’s mad that Jeff didn’t give him any say in ending the Loop, and furthermore he even ended it on a night that wasn’t Harry’s best showing at the party (even though Jeff tells him that doesn’t matter, none of it’s going to interfere with their plans, right?), and he storms out of the house and back to London and throws himself into the WWA tour because fuck Jeffrey Azoff.

But he can’t just go back! Because now he’s started to think concretely about life after 1D, and he can’t just go back to living in the moment and thinking that the ride is going to last forever. Now it’s obvious to him that it can’t, and now that he’s got some idea of what happens next, it’s hard to give up that vision, even if that vision is inextricably intertwined with Jeff. (you know where this is going, right? this means i finally get to write the hiatus meeting scene i’ve been dying to write ever since louis started spilling the tea two and a half years ago!!!)

So Harry’s got a whole long tour to sulk and suffer (in between being adored by entire stadiums.) Jeff maybe tries to reach out early on and Harry rebuffs him, maybe even does it in a very impersonal and insulting way, like having someone from Modest tell Jeff to back off, Harry’s not interested in working with him.

Is there some narry angst here, perhaps? Is niall well aware that harry met up with the azoffs in LA and feeling some suspicion and resentment around that? ANYWAY, Harry also has a whole tour to hook up with anyone and everyone (niall?) and through that process start to work through the idea of Jeff as his soulmate. Not that it matters, Harry tells himself, because Jeff obviously doesn’t have romantic kind of soulmate feelings about him, but if he did, maybe Harry could see himself getting there too?

After a good six months of suffering, the tour eventually reaches the Rose Bowl. Jeffrey Azoff can sure as shit get himself backstage at the Rose Bowl, and he has a Plan for what happens next. But he stumbles through his carefully considered apology/sales pitch, because Harry’s impassive and it only seems to be making things worse, until he completely by accident says something painfully earnest about his Feelings (this bit is all jes, please thank her) and Harry fucking melts. That’s it, that’s the fic!