#honestly I’m really happy and grateful for being tagged thank you bunches
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hargrove-mayfields · 1 year ago
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First Line of Ten Fics Game!
Rules: Share the first line of 10 of your most recent fanfics, and tag 10 (or however many!) people! If you have written less than 10 fics, don’t worry! You can participate anyways! All works are valid!
I was tagged by @strangerqueerthings ! Thank you for thinking of me and my works!! <3
Most of these fics are kind of old (and some unfinished) but they’re my most recent pieces from my ao3 account!! If you want to read them, please check the full tags on ao3 as they give more detailed warnings!
1. Starlight in your eyes of blue (Harringrove, warning for panic attacks and derealization)
“One. Two. Steve’s squishy. Three.”
2. One in Heart, One in Hope, One in Name (Harringrove, pure holiday fluff)
“Maybe three weeks before the beginning of the holidays is a little early to start, but if he doesn’t do it now, it’s not getting done.”
3. Chase the Wind (Eventual Harringrove, Billy & Hop, warnings for child abuse and implied sexual assault, severe injuries, and Hopper being a bit of a jerk)
“Billy makes the football team his very first week in Hawkins.”
4. Just a Dream Away (Harringrove, warnings for temporary character death, blood and gore, upside down monsters, mourning, heavy angst, and past child abuse; happy ending)
“Six months. Six months and twelve days.”
5. I’m never alone. (Hollogrove, warnings for flayed Heather and Billy, and ensuing blood and murder)
“The water is freezing: her head is pounding: her mouth tastes like copper and chemicals and asphalt.”
6. A mess of Momma’s barbecue (Max centric, Hargrove-mayfield siblings, warnings for past character death, child abuse, alcoholism, and Neil Hargrove in general)
“Everyone likes to pretend Billy was never even there.”
7. Happy birthday to me (to you!) (Harringrove, pure fluff)
“The first summer after the incident at Starcourt, things have finally had enough time to slowly ease back into normalcy.”
8. Memories are Golden (Harringrove, mild warning for drinking)
“The prom of ‘85 was just one week away.”
9. A Walkin’ Talkin’ Breathin’ Ball of Fire (Kegboys/ Billy x Tommy x Steve, warnings for child abuse, drug and alcohol use, reckless driving, and suicidal ideation)
“It was 11 o’clock on a Monday, and Billy was grounded.”
10. When (Harringrove, warnings for terminal illness and implied future character death)
“Growing up in the Harrington’s mansion, there was a beautiful grand piano in the upstairs salon, deep mahogany with gold trim to contrast meticulously polished ivory keys.”
I’ll tag: @intothedysphoria @eddie-munsons-guitar86 @poolsidepanic @thatgirlwithasquid @lovebillyhargrove and anybody else who sees this and would like to participate! And I mean that! Just say I tagged ya if you want to join in!! <3
These tags are no pressure! If you can’t participate or just don’t want to, that’s totally fine! No obligation.
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lumosatnight · 11 months ago
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Year in Review 2023
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I did this for 2022 and I couldn't pass up the opportunity for more stats. Thanks @oknowkiss (x) for the tag! Here is my year in review: 2023 edition 🥳
Stats
Word Count: 339,585 (86,974 new)
Hits: 136,378 (68,393 new)
Number of Fics started and finished: 12 over 1k and 49 under 1k
Number of WIPs started: idk... like 10? 20?
Ships I wrote this year (not including background ships): Lots and lots and lots but mostly Drarry (8), Snarry (2), Drarius (2), Fleurmione (2), Lunansy (2), and Cissamione (2)
Favorite ship(s): This year maybe Narlily, Snarry, Luther, Mollytrix
Least favorite ship(s): This year I was introduced to Marylily and Rosekiller and idk they just don't vibe with me.
AO3 Fic Writers/Artists/Creators/Readers who have inspired me and my writing this year:
@itsphantasmagoria for their incredible Drarry video game
@sleepstxtic for her incredible range of fic and nuanced depictions of canon including my fav fic of the year!
@anaxandria-writes for binding my fic!!! I am so grateful and inspired.
@givereadersahug for organizing @hprecfest and always being so joyous and enthusiastic about rare pairs (you will be very missed, my dear 💗)
Countdown
5️⃣ Top 5 works I’m most proud of from 2022 (not necessarily my most popular)
For I have Found Salvation [Snarry, E, 7.1k] — for @snarryauctoberfest with priest Severus and parishioner Harry. My very first Snarry fic!
Of Dreams and Death [Dronarry, T, 2.3k] — for @dronarryfest and had so much fun plopping the characters into the Sandman AU.
up here, i'm floating [Mollytrix, M, 1.2k] — for the @hpsaffics Secret Santa Exchange. This is possibly one of my fav ships. I'm glad I got the chance to write them as angsty as I wanted.
Such a Sweetheart [Fleuratrix, T, 2.4k] — for the HPFC server Untagged Fest. A horror coffeeshop AU!
Kinktober 2023 [Multiship, E, total 15.5k] — technically a series but my first time participating in Kinktober. I was worried I wasn't going to finish all the days in time.
4️⃣ Top 4 current WIPs that I’m most excited to release in 2023
Honestly no idea yet. I have a lot of ideas on the back burner but none that are MUST DO RIGHT NOW. But I will say that I'm excited for bunch of fests like @hptransfest @ladiesofhpfest @hptriadfest and @hp-rarepairs
3️⃣ Top 3 biggest improvements in my writing over the past year
Smut!! I've developed my smut writing a lot. Kinktober really opened my eyes to a lot of kinks as well 👀
Tone: I think I'm getting a lot better at matching tone in my writing for consistent characterizations and building atmosphere
Estimating word count: I've gotten so much better at looking at an idea and predicting how long the final story is going to be.
2️⃣ Top 2 resolutions (ways I wish to improve my writing/blog) for the new year
FINISH A LONGER WORK!! This was on my resolutions from last which I didn't complete lol. It's okay, I'll try again this year.
Create a more consistent writing schedule
1️⃣ Number 1 favorite line I’ve written this year!
Harry Potter has a tiny dick. It’s just a fact of life. The Chosen Microdick, the Small Saviour, the Boy with an Itty Bitty Package. And oh, how Draco loves it.
From The Chosen Microdick [Drarry, E, 500], part of my Kinktober 2023 series and I just love the play on words here. A banging start to a banging series 🤣
Not sure who has already done a stats roundup/fic review/2023 thingy, so I'll leave the tag open.
Happy 2024! 💖
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heyhihellowhatsup0 · 4 years ago
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Hooked On Your Feelings - Chapter One (FWB! Tom Holland x Reader)
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Prologue
Warnings: Some angst, language, eventual smut in future chapters, fluff
Word Count: 4155
Summary: After a bad breakup, making an agreement with your womanizing neighbor, Tom to be friends with added benefits and no strings attached seemed like the perfect idea. Until things become messy, emotions caused your agreement to crumble.
A/N:   I have been dying to post more so the day is finally here! I am so happy everyone has given my such amazing and sweet feedback! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. Needless to say, this chapter does have smut! DM me to be tagged and I cannot wait to hear everyone’s thoughts! (Also .gif is not mine. DM me for credit please, I found on google!) Thank you xx -N
You woke up the next morning with your head pounding while the sun hit your eyes as you opened them. Turning on your back you let out a sigh once you realized where you were. The same bed you figured you would be in even though you were hoping it was all a dream and what had happened didn’t actually take place. 
Remaining underneath Tom’s dark and satin sheets since you knew you had nothing on, you pivoted your head upward and saw his eyes opened and staring up at the ceiling. Clearly, neither one of you had any idea how to address what the hell happened between the two of you last night and you certainly weren’t going to be the one to initiate.
Tom licked his lips as he adjusted himself from under the covers. Did he really just sleep with you? Sure, he thought about having that moment with you. Countless times, actually. It was no secret you were breathtakingly beautiful and he always had that fantasy about you. But you were always dating that idiot for whatever reason and Tom always thought you were never into him in that way.
None of it was planned, of course. It just happened. One minute, you were both drinking and just simply there next to each other. The next, Tom and you were stumbling into his bedroom. Laughing in between kisses as you removed one another’s clothes and experiencing what was probably some of the best sex he’d ever had. His entire body was vibrating still from how he had felt and he never in a million years would have even thought you were the least bit interested in him like that. Then again, you were both clearly going through some really weird stuff last night.
You were both vulnerable and feeling things you didn’t want to admit to other people but for some reason, Tom was alright with admitting it to you and you both found a way to get rid of the feeling, even if it was temporary. He didn’t want you to regret it, because he sure as hell didn’t. He certainly wasn’t expecting any of that with you but it was a hell of a night and he was far from complaining about it. He was just worried you regretted it.
A lot could be said in your silence with Tom as you lay there, the both of you now staring up at the ceiling and neither of you were speaking. You couldn’t help but feel a little awkward while you tried to figure out what to say. Do you just thank him for the night and leave? Should you just say you had work and grab your clothes or just maybe not say anything at all? The silence was killing you for a variety of reasons and you were still trying to rack your brain trying to figure out why you initiated the first kiss to begin with. You weren’t drunk at all but for some reason you just wanted it. You wanted him. And in that moment last night, you were glad he wanted you too.
Tom cleared his throat, the stillness between you both was causing a rise in his anxiousness, “Well...we had sex last night,” he stated the obvious as plainly as possible. Maybe he should have just kept his mouth shut.
“Yeah,” you answered in an obvious tone. You held back from your laughter as you pushed your hair out of your face, “I should probably go,” you told him as you tried to cover yourself up with the sheets even though you already knew Tom saw you naked last night. There were no more secrets between you both. Clearly.
Tom sat up from the bed and began looking for his sweatpants to throw on before he started to help you find your clothes across the bedroom floor. He handed you your t-shirt as he politely turned away while you changed, “Do you want coffee or something?” he offered, something he would never offer another girl who stayed the night.
Offering any girl any type of breakfast or anything of the sort automatically made them believe Tom wanted them to stay longer. To go out on a date or to get a phone call from him later. Commitment. So he always avoided it and usually had you kick them out if they couldn’t get the hint. But obviously you were different being that you were a friend who he just so happened to sleep with. He was grateful you were there with him and he’d never dismiss you as quickly. He cared about you in the same ways you cared about him. Neighborly love. Who he happened to be attracted to and vice versa.
“Nah, I’m okay. I have some back at my place,” you answered casually as you grabbed your leggings as Tom handed you one of your shoes, “Thanks,” you said to him with a small smile as you tried not to act like you were rushing out of there.
You tried to make yourself presentable as Tom began to walk you out of the bedroom, unsure if he should thank you for the night or not. You turned to him with a sarcastic smile and pointed towards your messy waves, “Wow, I guess this officially makes me a notch on your belt, huh?” you tried to joke to make it less weird between you two.
“For the record, you are not a notch or anything like that, Y/N,” Tom said sternly to make sure you knew that last night was actually a night he didn’t regret at all, “I uh...actually had a pretty good time,” he felt his cheeks tinge a hint of pink as he admitted that to you. Another thing he knew to never say to a girl he brought home. Ever.
Making a face at him, you breathed out a small laugh while you nodded your head in agreement, “Yeah, I did too,” you told him honestly.
The two of you just stood in the kitchen by Tom’s door for a minute. Waiting for the other person to say something but neither of you did. You rocked back and forth on your heels as Tom slid his hands into his pockets, “This isn't weird, is it?” you questioned in a light tone.
“What? No!?” Tom chuckled nervously. He crossed his arms in front of his chest in an attempt to be nonchalant while the elephant of the deed you two had done remained between you both, “Wh-why-why would it be weird?” he stammered.
Leaning in a bit closer towards him, you narrowed your eyes in on Tom, “We had sex,” you whispered as if somebody else was in the room and could overhear your entire conversation.
Tom copied your motion and leaned in in the exact same way, “I don’t think it’s a secret now,” he teased you with a playful smirk, making you laugh as he pulled away. He gave you a nudge against your shoulder, “It’s only weird if we make it weird, right?” he reminded himself.
Lots of friends sleep together and continue to be friends. This was nothing out of the ordinary. Besides, you were more neighborly than friends. So it was a completely different situation than what typical friends had dealt with in the past. Tom was right, you reminded yourself.
“No weirdness on my end,” you told him with a smile as you held out your palm as if you were swearing in a courtroom, “Promise,” you added with a playful wink.
Tom smiled back, leaning forward to get the door for you but you accidentally mistook his gesture for a hug and wrapped your arm around his neck. You cussed under your breath at your embarrassingly stupid moment while you apologized profusely to Tom as he tried to save the awkwardness by giving you a half-assed hug in return. You tried to hide the wincing your eyes were making from the hug but you knew he noticed. Of course he noticed.
Looking down at the floor because you were now too embarrassed to look in his direction, you said your goodbyes as Tom promised to swing by this week with his usual pizza while you began walking faster towards your apartment. But you didn’t want Tom to think you were that flustered by your interactions that you quite literally ran away to hide out. 
You finally got inside your door and realized everything remained untouched since you had kicked Justin out last night. The bottle of wine was still open and sitting on the counter, the television was still on in the living room and there were still a bunch of clothes he had left behind that you needed to desperately get rid of.
Everything in your apartment remained frozen in time while you felt like you jumped lightyears ahead of it from your one night spent with Tom. It was a strange feeling as you walked over to turn the television off but you didn’t feel angry like you had felt last night. You weren’t exactly over the events that took place with Justin but you were on the path to accepting it and you weren’t sure if Tom had something to do with it or not.
There was no denying that you were still hurting from everything. It was still a fresh wound and you had felt so betrayed from it all, you weren’t sure how you would bounce back from it or if you even would. You never dealt with a breakup as ugly as this one so it was a new feeling for you that you were still trying to wrap your head around.
And even though when you were with Tom for the brief time that you were, it felt like it was almost exactly what you needed last night. You didn’t hold back from him and you were comfortable enough around Tom telling him exactly what you needed. Letting your frustrations and anger out on him and Tom letting his feelings out on you led to an explosion between the two of you that surprisingly left you possibly wanting more.
Wanting more from Tom.
Changing into a fresh outfit from last night, you continued to replay the night over and over again in your mind. It was unexpected to say the least, but not in a bad way. Not by any means. If you thought it was bad or awkward, you probably wouldn’t be standing in front of your closet still thinking about the things Tom made you feel.
He made you forget about the drama, if even for one night. But he still managed to make you think that you didn’t need Justin anymore. Maybe you didn’t need anyone right now other than a simple fix here and there to make you feel good. Maybe something without any strings attached was what you needed right now in order to move on and numb your pain for a bit.
You knew Tom was dealing with his own commitment issues and neither one of you were looking for anything complicated. It may not be the best idea in the world to be thinking about something like this but clearly neither one of you knew how to be alone at the moment. You didn’t really want to be fully alone anyway, and you were both comfortable enough with each other where you could be honest about this stuff. Maybe Tom was right, there shouldn’t be any weirdness between you.
Maybe some great sex and not an ounce of attachment was the elixir to the chaos Justin caused for you. No formalities. No planned out, stuffy dates. No mingling with friends and their significant others. No justin. And certainly no types of feelings that would get you in a mess you clearly weren’t looking for right now.
Just good fucking sex. And...it didn’t hurt that your neighbor might be looking for the same type of thing that you were. At least you had hoped.
And when the thoughts and memories and god, downright blissful remembrances of his touch kept invading your mind, just standing there in your apartment thinking about it wasn’t enough. The anxiousness vibrated through your body and you knew what you might be needing from down the hall.
You pulled on a new t-shirt before grabbing your keys. You had never done anything like this before, what if Tom said no? Maybe it should just remain a one time thing between the two of you. Your nerves were attacking you relentlessly as you locked your door, slipping your key ring around your finger and securing it tightly.
But if Tom could do things like this, what was stopping you? The pure rush of anxiety and adrenaline...but it was stupidly guiding you right back to his door. This was insane. Completely stupid. He’d never agree to this. 
Your mind was telling you to turn around and go back home. But that side of you that you never let come out was saying ‘fuck it. Have some fun for once. You’ve been through enough heartbreak and this is something for you.
The safe way got you hurt. More than once. And as you lifted your hand to tap your knuckles against the door, you knew you were done playing it smart. 
Barely getting through the first knock, the door swung open. You let out a yelp as you practically hit Tom in the face while he almost walked right into you. The two of you running into each other as your bodies slightly crashed into one another.
“Oh shit!” Tom exclaimed as he pulled back with an awkward laugh. He ran a hand through his still messy curls, “I was actually on my way to see you,” he admitted, pressing his lips together as he looked at you in the doorframe.  
You reached up and crashed your lips against Tom’s without warning, “Let’s make a deal,” you told him through your hungry kiss as you began to feel Tom start to kiss you back. He moaned into you as he captured your top lip in between his.
“W-what?” Tom mumbled against your lips once again, bringing you inside of his place as he kicked the door shut. He was surprised this was happening so suddenly. Especially since he was just about to be on his way over to your place to ask you for just about the same thing. He knew it didn’t feel right when you left this morning and it was because he wanted to feel this way again. With you. 
“I can still help with your horrible conquests but...in the meantime, we make up for our shit love lives with damn good sex,” you explained while catching your breath from your last kiss. You stood in the living room with Tom’s hands resting on your hips with lust for you in his eyes. 
He pulled back from his embrace with a quirked brow, “You’re serious,” he noted as he smirked at you. He was honestly surprised considering he never saw this side to you. You were always with the same guy for as long as you lived here. It was strange and new to him to see you wanting something that he did.
“No strings attached, of course,” you added. The words sounded ridiculous but you ignored that thought. 
“I...christ, Y/N. I can’t say I haven’t thought about having endless mindblowing sex with you,” he said as his eyes rolled over you. 
“Mindblowing?” you chuckled, “Someone’s cocky,” you teased. 
“Rude. But back to the point...are you sure about this?” Tom got serious. His focus on you as he stepped back to give you some space. He didn’t want to be overbearing or act like he was trying to just get you back in bed. Even though that was basically what he was doing regardless of the situation.
The bottom line was, he had an amazing time with you. And unlike the random girls he brought home, you knew him. There was an understanding between you and him that he knew you got. And he could be open with you by saying he didn’t want anything serious. He wouldn’t need to find a way to get rid of you in the morning. He could distract himself from the nonsense he would think about while ravishing you in the process. It was the perfect idea.
You took a moment. Wondering again if you were just crazy to suggest this. But the way his brown eyes were studying you, it just felt right. 
“I’m sure if you are,” you finally answered. 
Tom was silent but it didn’t take him long to make his mind up. Taking a few steps forward, he picked you up in one swift motion and brought you over towards the couch where you straddled his hips before going in for another kiss. His hand was already slipping underneath your shirt and up your back as he helped you remove it along with his, tossing it towards the empty side of the couch you weren’t using.
Helping you out of your leggings, you found your way back towards Tom’s lap and grinded your hips against him in between your kisses. The cravings you both shared for one another grew wilder as you continued, “We’re really doing this?” you muttered against his lips with another gasp as you helped release him out of his already bulging boxers.
“Think so,” Tom laughed against your skin, trailing his lips down to your neck as he pushed your hair to one side, “Unless you want to stop?” he pulled back for a minute, not wanting to overstep if you were having second thoughts.
Biting your bottom lip, your hand went down to Tom’s hardened length and ran along it. Rubbing the pre-cum seeping from his tip as you watched Tom throw his head back against the couch with a low moan, “Does it look like I want to stop?” you asked him with a playful grin.
“Fuck, Y/N…” Tom hissed as his hands gripped your sides to release some of his frustration. He breathed out a laugh as his fingers went to your clit, beginning to circle you slowly, “Let me give you what you came here for. Hm, darling?” his voice grew raspy as he looked you in the eye, his pupils black the longer he waited.
Your eyes went down towards Tom’s waist, gasping as you watched him begin to tease your entrance with his tip. Cussing under your breath, you grabbed onto his shoulders tightly as you braced yourself for his impact. Tom pressed his hand against the small of your back as he waited for you to let him know it was okay. You nodded your head silently as you gave him an amorous look, “I want you, Tom,” you whispered lowly.
That was all it took before Tom guided himself into you. Going slow as he took his time to let you get used to him while you clenched around him. You lowered yourself deeper as he filled your core up entirely while you began to roll your hips against his slowly, letting out a moan as Tom hissed against your ear while twitching inside of you.
“Mmm, Y/N,” Tom breathed out a moan as he matched his thrusts with yours. His lips parted, moaning against your neck while he pressed open, sloppy kisses against your skin as he continued to rub your clit with his opposite hand, “You feel so fucking wet,” he praised you breathlessly.
“Keep touching me, Tom,” you cried out to him while you started to ride him faster. Even though you and Tom had just started these escapades, you certainly felt comfortable enough to tell him exactly what you wanted to make you feel good. Pressing the pad of his thumb against your swollen bud, your eyes clenched shut while you pushed yourself deeper into him, “Shit! Yes, right there,” you reassured him with another moan.
Guiding you down on his cock, Tom felt his entire body tense as soon as his lips met yours once again. His breaths getting heavy like yours as your name fell from his lips while he watched you bounce up and down on him, making him feel absolutely incredible as you continued to moan in his ear.
You felt your body beginning to tense as you kept going. Everything inside of you was aching for a release and Tom was giving it to you without a doubt. Rocking your hips into him more, you knew you were getting closer to your edge and you could feel Tom about to release as well.
Opening your eyes, you cupped Tom’s face with your palms and gave him one last fiery kiss. Your tongues finding each other wildly and tangled up before you both finally reached your highs together as you whimpered Tom’s name while you finally let go for him.
Tom cussed as he unraveled from beneath you. His body writhing while he watched you bury your face into the crook of his neck, muffling the sound of your moans against him. The vibrations from your sounds set him off further while he continued to reach his bliss, still thrusting into you while you rode out your tremor together.
“Holy….” Tom trailed off with a heavy breath, finally slowing down while his back hit the couch as he tried to pull himself together. He saw you pull your face away from his body, giving him the same exact look that he knew he had on his face, “Umm...yeah, holy fuck?” he laughed.
“That just about covers it,” you agreed as you kissed his cheek with a smile. You pushed Tom’s now damp and sweaty curls out of his face to capture his lips while you brought him closer to you, “So we have a deal?” you confirmed as Tom kissed you back.
Tom chuckled as his hands fell to your sides, his thumb creating small circles against you while he pursed his lips, “You’re really serious about this? No strings? No titles? Just like...just sex?” he clarified, still trying to wrap his head around you asking for this. It felt like a godsend and that it was too good to be true. Why couldn’t more girls be like you?
Tucking a loose strand of your hair behind your ear, Tom’s eyes went from your eyes, to your lips, and back as he sat there admiring you looking this way. You looked so effortlessly beautiful to him and even just as a friend, he was lucky to have you in his life. But now that he had you in other ways, you felt almost intoxicating to him. He couldn’t understand why that piece of garbage cheated on you. Tom had done some shady things to girls in the past and he didn’t see himself in ways others might but he knew he would have never done what that guy did.
You nodded as you turned your head to the side, “Do we have a deal, Tom?” you asked again, raising your eyebrow at him.
“Justin really did a number on you, huh?” Tom teased with a chuckle.
“We’re not talking about him,” you shushed Tom. Pressing your palm against his chest, you gave him a stern expression, “No talk about exes or...your conquests. We do this,” you gestured towards you straddling his legs before looking back at him, “Whenever we...feel like it. I guess,” even you weren’t sure of the rules but you figured you could make them your own anyway.
There was a pause as you quickly felt like you should add more, “We’re friends. Nothing more, nothing less,” you told him, wanting to be clear of at least one title throughout this whole pact the two of you were about to agree to, “Friends who...happen to jump each other’s bones?” you stated despite it sounding like a question.
Tom chuckled at your timid expression. His hands still at your sides as he leaned up and captured your lips again. “Deal.”
Taglist @osterfield-holland-andcompany @giuls-394 @missmulti @hazmyheart @lauras-collection @iamapersonwholikesunicorns @detroitbydark @mcuassemble @blahhhhhhhaaa @lonikje @beiroviski @ruefulposts @desir-ae @kayla-m1996 @unicorn-princess-1999 @asmilinghopelessromantic @itsjusttor @azaraspirit @whatareyouhidingpeter @when-marvellous-things-happen @mannien @lilostif16 @u-rrose @ninjalex1d @baby-unidorn @astoldbydanid @honey-sea @fallingforfics @lulueliott24 @mikalakat @babebenhardy @coni-martina @captainemrys @mktravelbuggie @underoosmarvel @pluckypete @hollandfanficlove @lookalivefrosty @lightmelikeacigarette @msmarvel-19  @parker-holland-osterfield @thwip-it-real-good @shirukitsune @justanotherusername80 @dangerdolns @jwolfesblog @jjayyc  @ifilosemyselfagain @axisnpalma @londonspidey @just-a-littlebit-of-everything @bookgirlunicorn @kfcyum @thenoddingbunny-blog @buzzbuzzitsmeagainbitch @herondale-snow-carstairs​ @marvelobsessedteenager @unlimitedd​ @dramaholic18​ @softholand​ @panicattheeverywherekid​ @emotionally-unstable23​ @quackeroos​ @unbelievableholland​ @holyhumorliteraturelight​ @spideyyeet​ @katiekinzs​ @fanficparker​ @ifntelyinspirit​ @rubberducky-jrr​ @xguardgirlx​ @selfcarecap​ @localfangirlx​ @xxpeachyxo​ @hazardosterfield​ @xstarbae​ @justanotherusername80​ @photoshopart15​ @spiderbibby​ @the-fandom-life-forever​ @jannine00742​ @parachutepantswedgie-blog​ @decadentwastelandtrash​ @anythingthaticareabout​ @outshineallthestars​ @captainamirica​ @thehauntingofmymind​ @watermelonsponge​ @sinisterspidey​ @adayasgeorgia​ @obliviatevamps​ @damnrancidchicken​ @lolooo22​ @cocoamoonmalfoy​ @spideyspeaches​ @hollandprkr​ @peachitofu​ @quacksonholland​ @itscaminow​ @ohtobelovedbyyou​ @diffind0​ @tomhollandsslut​ @chipot-lol​ s @outerbanks-fics​ @agustdowney​ @305weasley​  @shrutipatel08
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durotoswrites · 2 years ago
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AO3 Stats Quiz
Thank you for tagging me, @emeraldhaze15! 🥰 I forgot there’s a statistics page on Ao3, so it’s been a long time since I’ve looked at it.
➼ What is your total posted word count on AO3?
699,121. That reminds me that I need to move more of my works from fanfiction.net onto Ao3.
➼ How often do you write?
I typically write at least once every few days, with varying degrees of success.  Writing’s been coming slowly lately, but using a sprint bot has helped me stop overthinking what I put down.  Sometimes I just need that extra little push.
➼ Do you have a routine for writing?
I like to have something to drink at my side, along with some chill music playing in the background.  I will change the music to suit the mood if I’m writing something more dramatic, but relaxing typically works best for me.  Lately, I’ve been using sprint bots and write in a few fifteen minute bursts.  When I’m editing or thinking of new ideas, I don’t have a timer going.
➼ What are your favourite tropes/pairings?
Oooh, I have a lot that I enjoy, honestly.  This list is just a taste of the things I like, hehe.
Tropes: Hurt/Comfort, slow burn, friends to lovers, strangers to lovers, found family, angst with a happy ending, fluff, fluff with substance
Pairings: I don’t think it’s any secret that I love Cliff x Claire as my OTP. Outside of that, I have lately been really enjoying mixing the pairings all around.  I like canon pairings, rare pairs, and I adore unexpected pairings that are written very convincingly!  As long as they can have some fun chemistry, I have fun dabbling and playing around with the possibilities.
➼ Do you have a favourite fic of yours?
The Shy Newcomer has so much of myself, my heart, my life, and my experiences intertwined into it that I’d feel wrong picking anything else.  It is truly a labor of love.
➼ Your fic with the most kudos?
The Shy Newcomer.  I’m not really surprised, since it’s the one I have had around for so long.  I’m so grateful that people enjoy it 💖
I’m a little surprised that the story with the second most is the first lemon I wrote with my OTP.  😳 I look back on it and feel like some of the language was a little clunky, but thank you all for being so nice about it! 
➼ Anything you don’t like about your writing?
Ack, this is a dangerous question, as I tend to spiral when I don’t feel confident.  That’s got to count as one thing I don’t like about my creative process.  For the writing itself, I do wish that I could stop overthinking while drafting and being paranoid people will dislike what I write.  It’s not perfect, but whose writing is?  I have a few phrases I lean on too heavily and am constantly having to find them and weed them out.  I’m sure there are other phrases I’m aware I use a lot, hehe.  
I often struggle connecting scenes.  That’s honestly what takes the longest to write – how to get from one scene to the next.  I can also be a little redundant while writing as well to really drive a point home.  I often fear that the words I use are too common and boring and I wish my style were a little more poetic.
➼ Now something you do like?
Another tough question. 😅 I really love writing mental dialogue, and when I receive comments that readers can relate to my characters, it makes my heart soar.  I feel that characterization in my strong suit, and I really strive to make my characters feel like real people.  I love capturing the excitement, joy, pain, disappointment, and everyday moments in life and putting all those feelings into my story.  
Tags: @quartzfox @hikamaus, @krosaceae, @sketch-witch, @chickchickee​, @forgetmenotboys​, and anyone else who would like to play!  (My brain hasn’t woken up yet today and I’m sure I left a bunch of people out ^-^;)
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sslow-dancer · 4 years ago
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A/N: In celebration of the Stone Ocean Confirmation this past Sunday, have you a sweet Jolyne one-shot 🦋💚
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“I Feel Comfortable With You Too.” (Jolyne Cujoh x Reader)
Warnings: brief mentions of suicide and homicide, rape and self-blame
tags: gender-neutral, gender-inclusive, jolyne cujoh x reader, slight angst, sfw, comfort
Description: You become cellmates with the new girl in Green Dolphin, Jolyne Cujoh. As one of you can’t fall asleep at night, you both decide to speak about your personal lives and further discuss your convictions.
(NOTE: Though prisons in the US are assigned to keep the sexes separated, this one-shot can easily be read by anyone who is not/does not identify as a woman.)
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“FE40332, you got a new roomie! Get along, alright?” one of the main guards says to you, he turns to murmur with the person next to him.
You’re quick to sit up when the guard opens your cell, both people now in full view. You meet eyes with a girl, a rather beautiful one around your age with green and black hair. You notice her choice of hairstyle, you smirk
“Nice hair.” you compliment. The girl shrugs off the guard as he closes the cell. She looks back at you, a spare change of clothes in her hands,
“Uh..thanks.” she replies shyly. She seemed nervous, though that didn’t bother you. You nod, getting up to shake her hand. She hesitates before shaking yours, you smile.
“Don’t worry. I’m no person to be scared of.”
“Yeah, I know. You give off the vibe that you’re nicer than the people I’ve already met...”
You laugh at this, telling her your name after. You ask for hers,
“Oh, right! I’m Jolyne. I’m usually one to say my name first but with the new setting.. I guess I forgot.”
“It’s alright, I totally get you. By the way,” you point at the top bunk “you don’t mind sleeping there, right? I’ve been bottom bunk for the last 2 years I’ve been here; I’m not one for top bunk, believe me, I’ve tried.”
She nods, placing her clothes on the top bunk. She takes off her shoes and climbs up to the top, sighing as she lays down. You furrow your eyebrows,
“You tired? Have you not had food or a drink yet?”
“Yeah no...I don’t really have an appetite at the moment. I just want to rest is all...”
“Understandable. I was the same when I arrived here..well, I’ll be reading for a bit. Let me know if you ever wanna talk, okay?”
Jolyne hums, closing her eyes. ‘They’re really sweet...’ Jolyne thinks, ‘They’re like a breath of fresh air...’
~ Time Skip ~
It’s past midnight now, 3:30AM to be exact. Though both you and Jolyne weren’t exactly aware due to no clock being in your presence. You sigh, as you go to fall asleep after reading a really interesting novel. Your attempt to fall asleep is then interrupted when you hear a quiet whisper from Jolyne,
“Hey uh.. you still awake?”
“Well I was about to sleep but yeah, I’m still awake. What, do you want to speak to me?”
Jolyne exhales sharply, nodding as she replies “yes...if you don’t mind though, you can sleep if you really want to.” You shake your head,
“Oh no no, it’s okay. I’ll listen, I like hearing others talk. You want me to come up there?”
“No it’s okay, I’ll meet you down there.” she quietly hops off her bunk, you sit up yawning as she places herself next to your bed. She sits on her knees, her hands fidgeting with your bedsheets. You turn your attention over to her attire. She only had a skirt and short top on. You blush as you tell her,
“You look really beautiful...”
It’s Jolyne’s turn to blush, she giggles softly, “I- thank you. Since it’s nighttime, I decided to change my outfit when you left to get a new book...”
“I see... so, what is it you wanted to talk about?” You ask curiously, she purses her lips sighing,
“Well ya know, nothing specific really. I just wanted to talk to you ‘cause you seem cool and have been really one of the only persons who hasn’t been an asshole to me.”
“Persons?” Is there more than one person in here that’s actually been nice to you besides me?”
“Yeah, a girl named Hermès. Though I haven’t seen her in a while sadly.. I’m guessing her cell is far from ours.”
You nod, grateful that she has met at least one other person that treats her with basic humane respect. You nudge at your mattress, enjoying the faint artificial lighting from outside your cell. Jolyne speaks up,
“If you don’t mind me asking...why are you in here anyway? Like I said earlier, you honestly don’t seem like someone who would be in a place like this.”
You shrug, “It’s alright. Though I will say, be careful about asking people what they’re in here for, some people can be huge asses about it. You’ll probably hear a guard in here say that it doesn’t really matter in a prison like this but trust me, you can never be too cautious.”
She nods, swallowing as she thinks she had made a mistake of asking. You frown,
“But don’t worry, you’d didn’t offend me. Since you trust me, I think I’m obligated to give that trust back. So, I’ll tell you.” You scoot closer to her, your faces inches away as you keep your voice lower than before,
“I killed a gang of men. A bunch of bastard rapists. I feel no guilt whatsoever. They hurt a close friend of mine-“ you hesitate, backing up from her whilst turning your gaze towards the wall, “-though in a way, I feel terrible because that friend of mine will never get closure...they committed suicide a bit after what happened to them. Not to mention, I threw away whole career opportunities and reputation just because my anger got the best of me... Oh and my parents? Though they say they’re not angry with me.. they’re definitely disappointed. It’s so obvious whenever they visit me, it’s clear guilt.”
Jolyne’s expression quickly saddens, her sympathy taking over as she offers to hold your hands, you frown as you accept it, holding hers tightly. Her eyes squint with sadness as she tells you,
“I’m so sorry you had to deal with that...I couldn’t imagine.”
“Like I said, it’s alright. I accepted my fate the moment I committed the crime and accepted it again when I got my hearing in court.”
She nods, looking down at both of your hands as she takes in your information. She gently lets go, resting her back against the wall next to your bunk. She exhales loudly, stretching her arms as a way to shake off the melancholy in the room. You look at her with curiosity,
“So now that I’ve told you my story...mind telling me yours?”
“Sure...yeah.”
Jolyne clears her throat, her eyes and body facing the cell door. She begins her story,
“So, basically... I’ve been in trouble before. I was in a motorcycle gang and had got arrested for theft when I was in my early teens but for what I’m in now...I had a boyfriend. He was pretty much the stereotypical delinquent who relied on daddy’s money and got whatever he wanted.” she snickers, “you could say I was in love with him... aside from my mom I let him call me “Jojo” as I never liked anyone else calling me that but he uh.. betrayed me. That’s a way to put it, I guess.”
She looks at you for a bit, you nod as a way for her to go on,
“After my dumbass tried to sneak in a kiss when he was driving us home after school, he lost control of the car and hit a pedestrian. Obviously I panicked and panned him to call the police but he wouldn’t..instead of helping a helpless person on the ground he instead went on and on about his reputation and career...” she shakes her head, “he manipulated me into hiding the body. He has this all planned out, he was ready to put me in prison so he could go on and live his best life. He fucking- framed me! I was so stupid...”
You shake your head, saddened by the fact that Jolyne still blames herself,
“No, you’re not. Don’t blame yourself for that. HE’s the stupid one. HE was the dick that did the crime; instead of owning up to it, he made you look like the bad guy. You weren’t, you were just his girlfriend that witnessed the whole thing!”
“Try saying that to the police...they would never believe me.”
“You know, I really wish I could. Stating your side of the story again could really help getting you out of here. I would suggest you ask for a new lawyer. I can even help you if ya want.”
Jolyne shifts in her seat, clicking her tongue as she picked at her fingernails. She began to think about your suggestion and shrugs when she thinks of answer,
“Thanks but it’s fine. I plan to solve all this on my own soon.”
You nod understanding, you didn’t want to annoy her by asking again. You knew after sharing a story like that no one would want to be bugged.
“Okay I’m not gonna ask again but if you do change your mind, just let me know and I’ll be happy to help.”
“Thank you, I appreciate that.”
You smile a small smile at her, she does the same. You look over and pat down on the empty spot next to you,
“Come on, sit.”
Jolyne doesn’t say no to this, she gets up and sits next to you, her legs immediately getting into criss cross position. She was happy being able to get close to you again, your aura was soothing to her. You face her direction,
“I hope this doesn’t come out weird but after our little talk... I’ve grown to be very comfortable with you.”
Jolyne blushes, your face becoming pink as well when you realize you were able to say that out loud. She looks down, a glimpse of her small smile appearing,
“Thanks. I feel comfortable with you too.”
You giggle as you hug Jolyne around the shoulders, she quickly hugs you back around the waist. You blush again when she buries her head further into your neck.
You were thankful that you were already beginning to get close with your new cell mate.
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dreamkidddream · 3 years ago
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Quick Announcement, Updates, and Apology
Hi everyone!
First, I want to thank everyone for the kind words and messages after my last post (especially @thecoffeelovingfreak- thanks for being so understanding and for the advice <33). I haven’t gotten a chance to respond to any of the messages yet, but just know that they all touched my heart 💖
Second, I also want to apologize for just venting like that out of nowhere without warning. There’s nothing wrong with venting of course, I just try not to put my negative feelings out there so much cause I want to keep this blog as positive as possible for everyone and myself. I know that I can post whatever I want on here cause it’s my blog, but I still struggle with sharing how I really feel on here from time to time. Honestly speaking, I needed to get it off my chest and I do feel better from it, so it won’t be the last time I vent but I will make a tag so that any of y’all can block it if it makes you uncomfortable!
Third of all, I won’t be deactivating anytime soon. I’ll log off and delete the app for a few days for a short break (probably until Friday and when my exams are done) just to get my head clear. I also bought like a whole bunch of books and I’m excited to read them so I’ll be using my time to do that too ☺️ I know I still have requests left, so thanks for your patience like always <33 I feel like I take a lot of breaks/hiatuses and I’m really sorry if it’s annoying, but life happens and it works for me y’know? I always feel so refreshed whenever I come back so I’m looking forward to that feeling again.
Sometimes I get too focused on the notes/numbers part of writing, but then I’m happy just to share content and literally just to talk with y’all every time I log on. I always feel so supported too. I really don’t deserve y’all, but I’m super grateful for each and every one of you :’) you all made my life a little bit more fun and I’m not exaggerating when I say that.
Thanks for understanding and for the constant support! Love you guys 💙
- Dream 💫
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maraudersftw · 3 years ago
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I have a weird question, but do you ever feel like someone is really, REALLY your friend and that you adore them even though you don't know anything about them except for the fact that they're unflinchingly kind?! I have this reader who /ALWAYS/ leaves such wonderful comments and even though all I know nothing I feel like "HEY THAT'S MY FRIEND RIGHT THERE!!" whenever they comment ahaha. I want to know if it's just me or if there are others out there
Um, this is not at all a weird question, and I adore it so much, because YES, ABSOLUTELY! I have a bunch of usernames that I love seeing in my inbox whenever I publish a chapter/fic, and these readers have spoiled me so much that I wait for their comments with bated breath each time.
And since I feel like I don't take the time to appreciate my loyal and unflinchingly kind readers nearly as much as I should, I'm going to go ahead and tag (some of) them here to remind them how much they brighten up my days with their words.
I'm going to start with @all-things-jily of course, because she's got to rank #1 reviewer in the fandom without fail. I await her comments with so much excitement, it's actually insane. But even beyond that, Nina is such a wonderful person and the greatest friend, and I'm so lucky to be able to talk to her openly and honestly about anything on my mind.
@the-dream-team is the love of my life, and I'm always prepared to either be swept up in emotions or laugh my heart out whenever I see her comments in my inbox. And again, even beyond being a fabulous reader, Dylan is just sunshine personified, super talented, and the sweetest friend 💖
@liz-lunane is another person whose comments I can never get enough of. She unfailingly bookmarks every single one of my fics (yes, I've noticed, Liz) and her enthusiasm just makes me giddy to the point of nausea (in a good way hahaha)
@moonzelle leaves the sweetest comments ever! They're always so thought-through and detailed, and the best part is that she lists down her feelings from the chapter, which is honestly the most wonderful thing ever!
@shaniso90 If there's a reader who fits the "unflinchingly kind" descriptor to a T, it'd be her! She says the most flattering things, not just about my stories, but my writing in general. And then she always tacks on "I know I've said this a lot of times, and I'm repeating myself..." which is the funniest thing, because I could reread her comments a million times and it wouldn't be enough
@blitheringmcgonagall has been the most supportive person in the fandom ever since I've joined Tumblr, and it's insane to me how she works the busiest job, writes all this incredible stuff, comments on as many fics as she can, and still manages to be the sweetest person in the world ❤❤ truly the best
@keepingupwithpotters is basically one of the coolest people I know, and I've been in awe of her wit and humour ever since the first time she commented on one of my fics. Every time I see a comment from her in my inbox--I kid you not--anticipation flutters through me because I know this one's going to be good XD
@my-kindred-spirit is SO sweet and adorable, I don't even have the words for it. She always writes her comments with a bunch of emojis and caps to emphasize her enthusiasm, and there's nothing better than that, honestly!
@imgoodwhataboutyou never fails to bring a smile to my face with their comments! It's always filled with such wonderful reactions to the scenes in the fic and the best keysmashes hahaha I'm truly blessed to have such a reader!
@raissassampaio is the kind of reader one dreams about! She not only leaves you comments on the fics she loves, but also goes out of her way to make gorgeous moodboard edits for those fics! Like, talk about being spoiled!
@shehatedhimnahshedidnt kills me with her comments each time! If you ever go to one of my fics and take a look at the kind of lovely things she says, you'll understand exactly what I mean. Plus, I love her immensely 💕
And so, so, SO many other readers who I cherish and love and am unbelievably grateful for. Tumblr tagging cannot possibly express my gratitude to everyone, and it'd take me years to list every reader who's made me happy with their comments over the years. If I've not mentioned you here but you've left comments on my fics before, I want you to know with absolute certainty that I know you and I've re-read your comments a minimum of three times, and I love you with my whole heart. I'm just incapable of holding all that adoration in one post for everyone. Thank you!
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ffwriterbts · 4 years ago
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Lunar- BTS Werewolf AU Part 4
AN: As I’ve said before, if slowburn BTS werewolf AUs that have springlings of angst, smut, and fluff, this is the story for you! Other than that, please leave a like or comment so I know you’re enjoying the story!! The sections should start getting longer as I keep updating :) 
Also! Let me know if you want to be on a tag list for this story! 
Word Count: 7.7k
Warnings: General angst; slight medical talk; mental health issues; soulmate themes if you squint
Posted: 31 Dec 2020
Masterlist
Previous Next
When YN wakes up, she is lying in what looks like a fancy hospital room. Her shoulder is on fire, there’s an IV in her hand, her leg is propped up in an almost uncomfortable way, and all the rest of her feels like she was repeatedly hit by a cement truck. 
YN tries to sit up, but only makes it a few centimeters before pain wracks her body and she stops in her tracks. Her eyes snap shut and she takes a few deep breaths, doing her best to remember what happened and where she was.
And- nothing. YN doesn’t really remember anything that happened. 
That is, until Jin walks into the room, and everything hits her all at once- how Jin and Yoongi came to cook, how she was going back to the garden to grab her phone when a mystery wolf tried to harm her, how Yoongi transformed into a giant black wolf, how he fought for her, how Jin helped her. 
“I didn’t expect you to wake up so soon. Welcome back, YN.” Jin breaks the silence, and YN’s eyes snap up to him. 
“I-” YN starts, taking a second to collect her thoughts before continuing. “What happened to me?” Her voice is gruff, hoarse. 
“You were attacked.” Jin gives a little shrug before continuing, “Your shoulder was bitten, your ankle broken, you have three cracked ribs, and deep tissue bruising on the side with the bite. Other than that, you’re covered in scratches and bruises from the dragging and the nasty fall you took.” 
“Oh.” 
“Don’t worry, you have the same blood type as Jimin, and he was more than happy to donate for you. The wolf blood will have you healed by the end of the month for pretty much all of it. The ankle will take a little longer.” Jin shrugs again, going around and checking all of the monitors, making sure everything was good before he makes small talk with YN and helps her sit up, giving her water. 
Once he is sure she is as fine as she can be, he takes a seat at the end of the bed. YN can feel her ears get hot as she realizes that he has plenty of room, seeing as her legs don’t even reach three-fourths of the way down when she’s lying, much less when she’s sitting up. She doesn’t know why she feels this embarrassment, but she does anyway, and she silently hopes that Jin doesn’t know. 
“You must have questions, so why don’t I give you the full story?” Jin lightly pats where YN’s good foot is, smiling warmly at her. “If you want me to, of course.” 
“Please, I feel like I’m going crazy.” YN’s voice is much softer now, as she looks at him with those big, innocent eyes of hers, sipping water. 
“Well, I hope you’ve figured out by now that we are all werewolves.” Jin lets out a little laugh as YN nods softly. 
“We are a hidden race among humans, almost extinct. There are a few large groups over in America, there’s a couple here, a few somewhere in Europe, and a whole bunch over in Africa. There’s also a city of only wolves and special, trusted humans in China, which is also hidden from the world. We are bigger, faster, and stronger than even the very best human. We have the ability to change into wolves whenever we want, so long as we are fully healed.” Jin takes breath, looking to YN to make sure she was following along. 
YN nods, eyes trained on Jin as she listens, and he continues. 
“In order to survive, we had to breed with humans, muddle the gene pool. The fastest, strongest, largest of the humans, they are all part wolf. Our pack is one of the purest here, genetically speaking, but we would be considered basically human by our ancestors. But, to be fair, some humans are able to be welcomed into packs.” 
“Packs?” YN asks, head tilting slightly to one side as Jin smiles. 
“Yeah, like wolf packs. There are Alphas, Betas, and Omegas, which are basically what you think they are, though there is a lot more variation than you would think. Each designation is on a sort of scale, though that scale is not something that can easily be explained.” Jin gives another half shrug, glancing up at the IV, before standing and doing something that YN didn’t understand. 
“Here, let me get this changed so your body doesn’t starve or dehydrate. And I’ll let the rest of the boys know you’re awake, they’re excited to meet you and make sure you’re okay.” Jin clearly makes the move away from the subject of werewolves, and even though YN’s mind is swirling with questions, she doesn’t question the dropping of the subject. 
YN assumes (correctly) that any and all questions she possibly has will be answered in time, because something about the way Jin putters around the room doing this or that feels like coming home. 
~~~~~~~~~~~
Over the next week, YN steadily gets better. Whatever it is about the werewolf blood that makes healing kick it up into overdrive was working better than expected, which all of the boys were grateful for. She had visitors every day, for most of the day, and she quickly got along with each of them. 
Jin, who YN found out was actually a fully licensed medical doctor and surgeon, mandated that the boys were only allowed to go and see her in pairs, so she wouldn’t be overwhelmed. 
And thus, YN met Hobi and Jimin almost as soon as Jin opened the door to let the boys know she was accepting visitors. She could see who she would later find out to be Jungkook and Taehyung peaking in the doorway, wanting to be included but not being allowed to be. 
Both Hobi and Jimin very enthusiastically introduced themselves, taking no time at all to occupy the end of the bed that YN was far too short to occupy herself. Talking to them felt like talking to people she had known for years, and they had YN almost rolling with laughter within the first five minutes. 
It was almost an hour of not-so-patient waiting on behalf of Taehyung and Jungkook before Jin came back and kicked Hobi and Jimin out, scolding them half-heartedly for not letting the other two have their time yet. 
With quick apologies, those two boys slipped out of the room as two more replaced them. Again, just as enthusiastic, the two boys introduced themselves, and had YN in stitches almost too quickly. 
Without a second thought, YN is talking with them for almost two hours, before Namjoon comes in and cuts them off. He kicks the two youngest out of the room, telling them that YN needs to rest sometime, that she has to heal. 
Namjoon in turn takes the same spot at the end of the bed, but he is bearing gifts. Namely, the gift of her electronics from her home, a nice lap desk, and some of her very favorite sour candy.
“I figured you would want these things, seeing as you’ll be here for a while.” Namjoon smiles softly as he almost sheepishly rubs the back of his neck. 
“Oh, thank you!” YN is much more animated than she was even an hour ago, snatching the sour candies from Namjoon’s hand as quickly as she dares to, trying her best to open the bag without moving her one arm very much. 
“Do you want some help YN?” Namjoon’s voice is soft but deep, and YN nods without even a second’s hesitation, holding out the offending bag with a small pout. 
Namjoon just chuckles, making small talk as he easily opens the bag, carefully handing it to YN. She lets out a grateful sigh, carefully balancing the bag in her hurt hand, and throwing candies into her mouth. 
“How’d you know I like these?” YN asks absently, paying far more attention to the wonderful flavor than to Namjoon and his response. 
She was tired, her body was sore, and honestly, she was more excited for her candy and the prospect of a nice long sleep than she was about anything Namjoon had to say. That was, at least, until she actually heard the words that came out of his mouth. 
“Oh, we can read minds. We know all sorts of things about you.” His voice was that same even calmness, to the point that YN didn’t actually register what was said for almost a whole minute. 
“You… you what?” YN pauses and looks up at Namjoon, shock and confusion written so clearly on her face that Namjoon didn’t even need to read her mind to know exactly what she was thinking. 
“Hyung was supposed to tell you, but yes. It’s an innate ability of ours, and once you present you’ll probably be able to do the same.” Namjoon gives a little sort of half shrug as YN’s face just scrunches up more as she tries to fully process what Namjoon actually said. 
“I can see you’re confused.” Namjoon speaks again and YN rolls her eyes without taking a second to think about how that might be perceived. Sure, the men she had met had all been incredibly kind to her, but that doesn’t mean that they’re comfortable enough to start with the half-bratty sass that YN was known for with her close friends. 
“Yeah, I wonder why.” YN speaks for the first time, her eyes locking up onto Namjoons in a way that seemed out of character for the girl that he had begun to get to know. “It’s not like this is a lot to process or anything.” Sarcasm seems to drip from every pore like venom, and Namjoon pauses for the first time, slightly confused. Again, this was unlike the character that he had come to know as YN.
He’s sure YN doesn’t mean any harm by what she’s saying, that much is clear to him because of her thoughts, but he was under the impression that YN was just a sweet, mild mannered woman. Silently, Namjoon chides himself for allowing himself to believe that YN, a fully functioning adult woman, was something other than a three dimensional person with multitudes to her personality. 
“May I ask some clarifying questions?” YN asks after a short silence. For the first time, she felt slightly uncomfortable in the silence, wondering if she had actually offended Namjoon inadvertently. Usually, she tried to tame the more bratty side of her personality for fear of being hurt by someone she completely offended, and it seemed to hit her all at once that these men, who were already giant in comparison to her, also held an unknown strength.
YN’s fears are assuaged when Namjoon gives her a beautiful smile, nodding his head and motioning for her to ask away. 
“How much of my head can you see?” YN tilts her head to one side, not catching how strange her phrasing is until Namjoon lifts an eyebrow. By that point, too much time has passed for YN to really change her statement, and she can feel her ears getting hot as she waits for Namjoon to actually respond. 
“Well, any of us can read basically any thought you have. We can also access memories, though it is incredibly frowned upon to do so, as it is sort of like torture for the person whose mind you look into for that one. But, we can also teach you how to make sure we can’t see inside your mind, and when the door to the room closes, we can’t see into anyone inside the room.” Namjoon answers with a sort of practiced nuance, which is comforting to YN in a strange way. 
“Do you look at my thoughts all the time?” 
“No, of course not. That wouldn’t be fair, and honestly, we don’t really look in your mind at all. You do throw off emotion, but that’s different in the first place.” Namjoon gives that same little half shrug. 
“How’s it different?” YN’s voice is much softer now. There’s something about the way Namjoon speaks that makes her feel like she’s coming home. 
She shakes the feeling, instead trying to focus on what Namjoon has to say.
“When in the pack, emotions are shared and felt by the other members of the pack, to varying degrees. When it comes to other wolves, we are sensitive to their emotions and have a large amount of completely non-verbal communication. Part of why you’re so interesting to us is the fact that we can feel your emotions, though you clearly aren’t fully wolf.” Namjoon pauses, brow furrowed. 
“What does that mean?” YN’s expression turns to match Namjoons. 
“It means you’re one of us. But also that you’re not.” Namjoon brings a hand up to rub the bridge of his nose. “I’m not sure what it means, honestly. You smell like an Omega. You act like one, mostly. But you clearly won’t be able to turn once you finish presenting, you know nothing of our world or customs, you’re absolutely tiny.” 
YN shifts uncomfortably when Namjoon looks up at her, her ears heating up again, though she has no idea why she’s embarrassed. It’s not her fault she didn’t know about a hidden society of werewolves, after all. 
Namjoon opens his mouth to say something else, but the door opens and Jin steps in. 
“Namjoon, go separate Taehyung and Yoongi. They’re at it again. Both of them are acting like children.” Jin lets out a deep, exasperated sigh. “And you need to leave YN alone, she needs to heal. Didn’t you say the same thing to Tae and Kookie just a bit ago?” 
YN can’t help but smile softly at the familiar interaction, almost laughing when Jin shoos Namjoon out of the room. 
“As for you, Miss YN, you need to actually rest. Don’t be afraid to tell any of the boys to leave, they know full well that you are here to heal.” Jin gives YN a bright smile as he reaches behind her to make sure her pillows are arranged correctly. 
YN nods, a grateful smile on her features. “I’ll do my best to heal well, thank you.”  She speaks softly, her thoughts a jumbled mess after everything Namjoon told her, her prior annoyance and attitude melting away.
“Do you need anything else? It’s getting late enough I’m going to leave you, I know Namjoon set you up with your technology and chargers.” Jin stands in the doorway, facing YN. 
“No, thank you! I’m good until tomorrow.” YN answers quickly, arranging herself so she can rest comfortably for the night. 
“I’ll leave you then. If you need anything through the night, there’s a call button on the side there. Good night, YN.” 
“Good night!” YN calls, watching as Jin flicks off the light and closes the door. She then proceeds to lay there, in the strange bed, and stare up at the ceiling. 
It was a lot to process, everything that she’d been told. 
“I’m fucking crazy.” YN groans, sighing deeply and checking her phone for the first time in what could have been weeks. 
She was unsurprised to see that the only notifications she had were from her editor, sending back things for her to work on and asking for the corrections and newest works.
YN can’t help but sigh again, throwing her phone to one side and settling in better. She was thankful to the men who had saved her, and she knew somewhere deep down that she could trust them, but it was just a lot to deal with. 
What did it mean that she smelled like an Omega? What the fuck did it mean to present? What did Namjoon mean when he said that she threw off emotions? 
YN was confused, to say the least, but as she relaxed more and ignored the aches of her body, she realized just how tired she was. It didn’t take long for her to fall asleep, even with her mind swirling with question after question about what everything meant.
~~~~~~~~~~~
It was three weeks before YN had the use of her arm back, her shoulder only stinging slightly when she actually used her arm properly. It was another month after that before YN could walk on her ankle, which had been almost shattered from the attack. And that whole time, YN was bonding with the boys. 
She quickly found that the three youngest were incredibly physically affectionate, which YN just adored. She quickly found herself curling up beside Jimin, playing with his hair and feeling completely enveloped in his arms. Or laying across Jungkook’s lap, laughing at his facial expressions as he played his games. Or jokingly having Taehyung carry her around, lovingly calling him her “trusty steed” from her perch on his back.
She found that Jin’s love language was acts of service, which usually translated into him cooking this or that for the group. YN quickly fell into the habit of helping Jin as much as she could sitting at (or on) the counter, laughing at his dad jokes and making some of her own. She made sure that Jin didn’t forget to serve himself as well, always sneaking some of the best parts that he gave to her back into his own portion.
She found that the best way to bond with Namjoon was to just talk to him, about anything and everything, especially philosophical topics. Both YN and Namjoon loved the debate of this or that, the exchange of ideas, the passion of discussing things that others find to be boring. They would spend hours sitting in the library and reading this book or that novel, just to discuss it as soon as both of them had finished, getting off topic in that special way that isn’t really off topic, if you think about it on a deeper level. 
She found that Hoseok loved to dance, loved to explore music and feel it through the movement of  his body. While YN wasn’t able to stand and actually dance with him, even though she would have loved to, she did suggest new songs for him to try making routines to, bringing him water and snacks every so often. He would always ask her to stay and watch, which she did, always giving him the biggest applause she could at the end of the beautiful dances, talking his ear off about her love for movement like that, even if she couldn’t ever really do it herself. 
She found, however, that it was with Yoongi that she felt the most at peace. She quickly gained access to his ever-so-exclusive “genius lab,” where he made his music. Most of the time, YN would work on her writing as Yoongi worked on his music, the studio space filled with the soft sounds of YN’s typing and the sounds of whatever Yoongi was working on. They didn’t need to talk, instead the two sat in silence most of the time, just enjoying the fact that there was someone else there who understood that being together was all that was really needed.
Every so often, Yoongi would spin around in his chair and capture YN’s attention, asking her to listen to something and give her opinions on what could be improved or changed to make the song sound better. While YN didn’t have a lick of musical experience, she was sensitive to sounds and could pick out parts that didn’t quite mesh correctly with ease, which is just what Yoongi needed. 
On the flip side, when Yoongi was taking a bit of a break to stretch, YN would ask him to make certain motions or how to say certain things in different accents to help her be able to write this or that out in a way that actually made sense. Her editor was praising the way her work was coming back with less mistakes and awkward parts, and YN was absolutely loving the way she and Yoongi got along. 
And yet at other points, when neither Yoongi nor YN could seem to focus long enough to get anything done, the two would lounge side by side on the couch and just talk. They never really had something specific to talk about, but YN would find herself opening up about things that she had never told anyone else. She would find herself listening intently to whatever Yoongi decided to open up about, carefully choosing her words in a way that was meant to make him feel better, without making it feel like she was dismissing the feelings that he had in the first place. 
It was a system that worked, with YN falling into the routine of the home far quicker than any of them would have ever expected.  She found joy in helping Jin cook, she felt loved at the unashamed touchiness of Jimin and Taehyung, and again in the much more shy touchiness of Jungkook, she found quiet appreciation in sharing music and watching Hobi, she felt wanted during the long conversations and debates with Namjoon, and she felt at peace with Yoongi. 
She felt like she was home.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
But nothing can last forever, can it? YN knew just as much as the rest of the boys that she would have to go back to her own home eventually. 
And so, after two and a half months of living with the seven men, YN was taken back to her own home. 
Jin’s the one who drove her, with Namjoon riding shotgun. There was an aura of sadness the entire time, like none of them really wanted to go anywhere, but it wasn’t like YN could just move into their house. 
This wasn’t a movie or some crappy romance novel, after all. It was real life, and in real life, people don’t just pack up and move into the home of people who were basically strangers. 
The whole parting was quiet. YN couldn’t bring herself to actually say the word “goodbye” to either of the men who had come to make sure she got home safe, instead throwing her arms around their necks and giving them a good squeeze, wishing that she didn’t have to leave. 
The whole thing rang the same as the way she had parted with the other boys before the drive, the ache settling into her chest like someone had ripped out her heart and thrown it under the tires of the car as it pulled away, tears falling freely as a sharp longing settled in her stomach. 
It wasn’t until Jin and Namjoon left that YN actually cried, sobs tearing out of her throat as she crumbled to the ground, knees hitting the hardwood sharply. 
She had no idea how long she stayed there, feeling like there was a hole ripped into her very being, wishing for the comfort of Yoongi’s words, or Jimin’s wonderful hugs, or of Jin’s gentle prodding to “eat well.” 
Eventually, YN drug herself to her feet, stumbling to the kitchen and chugging some water before grabbing the bag she had borrowed to take her things back to her house, deciding she needed to put things away. 
“Why did I let them pack the bag?” YN groans, finding quickly that she is wholly unable to actually pick the bag up, and instead has to drag it to her room. She’s silently thankful for the wood floors because she can actually slide the bag. 
It isn’t until she gets to the last couple sweatshirts in the bottom of the bag that YN realizes she’d picked up a few presents from the boys. Shaking her head, she realizes why they had insisted on helping her in the first place, each of them had gifted her something small and they didn’t want her to refuse them, like they knew she would. The knowledge of how kind they were being was completely bittersweet, however, because they felt like “goodbye, at least remember us” presents.
From Jin she got the knife she quickly claimed was her favorite because it was the only one that was properly sized for her. There was a small note attached tha read “For my favorite kitchen helper, since it’s too small for me, -Jin” 
YN felt the tears well up in her eyes as she carefully set the knife to the side, not wanting to accidentally hurt herself. She then reaches back into the bag, wondering what else she might find. 
Hobi’s gift was next, giving her the one black headband of his that she always stole and jokingly wore around. It was wrapped around an adorable little teddy bear, with a note saying “For my favorite dancer, even if you couldn’t really do anything. Next time, I’m sure you’ll show me up -Hobi <3” 
Tears were flowing down her face now, but YN couldn’t stop looking for what was next, no matter what kind of feelings arose from it. 
Next she found one of the small figurines from Jungkook’s games, the one she always told him was her favorite because of it’s cool jacket. The note simply read “He might be your favorite, but you’re mine.”
YN smiled at the lack of signature, getting up and placing the figure on her nightstand, carefully angling it so it could watch over the room. Taking a seat on the edge of her bed, she reaches into the bag again, pulling out a gift that couldn’t have been from anyone but Namjoon. 
It was a book that was equal parts old and beautiful, and as YN ran her finger down the spine, she took out the note that was sticking out of the book. She wiped the tears from her face before she read the note, not wanting to drip tears onto it.
“Our Miss YN, 
Please don’t take this as a goodbye, but as a promise for the future. You’re just as important to us, to me, as we are to you. Remember us, remember the good, and look to when we can be together again. 
-Joon” 
It’s with this that YN starts sobbing again. They’re so sweet, those boys, and YN couldn’t help but feel almost lost without them. Her chest hurt like someone had shot her, a strong sort of longing that seemed endless settling into the pit of her stomach. 
It takes a while this time, before she can reach into the bag again. When she does, she almost immediately has renewed cries falling from her lips. 
She had pulled out the one super soft sweater of Jimin’s that she absolutely adored. She had told him that she was going to steal it from him whenever he wore it, twisting her fingers in the material and snuggling closer to him. It was soft, it smelled nice, and she knew that it would make her both look and feel tiny. 
There’s no note with this one, but YN can feel the love and sincerity behind the action, draping the sweater over her legs for the time being. She reaches into the bag again, smiling as she pulls out one of Taehyung’s million beanies, wrapped around a small toy horse. 
There is a note with this one, which simply reads “Horse.” It’s the most Taehyung thing YN can think of, and without a second thought, she places the horse next to the figurine, pulling the beanie on. 
She doesn’t find anything else immediately, taking a minute to put the things she had gotten in safe spots and going to put away the last couple hoodies, which she knew were hers. 
It isn’t until she reaches the last thing in the bag that she finds what Yoongi left her. At first, she thought it was just one of his hoodies, which she absolutely adored, but when she took it out to lay it next to the sweater Jimin had given her, something fell out of the folding. 
Quickly, YN picks up whatever fell, and finds that it’s a CD. She shakes her head, knowing that Yoongi would be the kind of person to share music as a gift. She sets the CD carefully on the bed, gathering up her shower supplies and a towel, both because she needed to take them back to her bathroom, and because she needed to actually shower. 
~~~~~~~~~~~
Once she’s freshly showered, using Hobi’s headband to keep her hair out of her face, wearing nothing but the amazingly soft sweater Jimin left her, YN settles into her bed with a CD player she found, Yoongi’s hoodie layed out beside her. Now that she had calmed down, she could smell the boys on the things they had given her. She would have been lying if she said that it wasn’t incredibly comforting to have their scent around her. It made the gaping hole in her chest feel a little less bloody, for whatever reason. 
Pressing play, YN settles in, not knowing what to expect. Neither the CD nor the CD cover had any sort of writing on it, so YN had no idea what was going to be playing, or for how long. She can’t help the small smile that graces her face as Yoongi’s voice fills her space, speaking deep and slow in that comforting way YN loved. 
“YN, my lovely secret keeper. You’re hearing this now because the day has come that you had to go back to your own home. I know none of us want you to leave, and if your actions have anything to say about it, you don't want to go.
You know as well as I do that things don’t always work the way we want them to, though.  We will be coming to visit you, as much as we can. And we will keep an eye on you. 
YN, please listen to me when I tell you I won’t let anything happen to you. It broke my heart, letting you get hurt once. And I’m not sure what I would have done if Hyung and I weren’t there when you were attacked. 
If you need me, if you need any of us, we will be there. Always.” 
YN curls up in a ball, hugging Yoongi’s hoodie to her chest, breathing in his scent deeply. She knew that he meant every word, that he truly would never let anything happen to her on purpose, but she also felt abandoned by him. By all of them. 
She had spent the last ten weeks of her life talking to Yoongi or Namjoon when she felt bad. Going to Jimin or Taehyung for cuddles when she was lonely. Gaming with Jungkook when she was bored. Laughing with Jin while prepping meals. Doing what little dancing she could with Hobi when she was restless. Laughing as Taehyung insisted on carrying her from one room to another, even once she had healed enough to walk. 
She had spent the last ten weeks evening out their teams when they played games, singing off-key on karaoke nights, fielding Taehyung’s touchiness before he got on Yoongi’s nerves (because for some reason, Tae insisted on trying to cuddle Yoongi at every opportunity), celebrating with them, helping to clean the wolves if there was a fight, stealing blankets off of every surface she could, curling into the side of whoever sat beside her in the name of stealing their boundless warmth.
She had spent ten weeks creating a space for herself in their lives, in their home. And now, it was back to living in a house that was way too big for her, with nobody to keep her accountable. 
It was because of this that she cried herself to sleep, even the sound of Yoongi’s beautiful music filled the room. She missed them, more than anything. She felt like she was crying more than she ever had, and it had only been hours since she left their home.
What YN didn’t know was that the boys were missing her just as much back at their home. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jin had decided to make a fancier meal than usual, because it would take more time and take his mind off of everything, but as he went about getting things done, he couldn’t help but miss seeing YN, perched precariously on the counter, babbling away about this or that as she carefully cut whatever needed to be chopped up. 
He internally cringed as the thought of the time YN had slipped and almost fallen on her hurt ankle, his own quick reflexes being the only thing that had saved her from weeks of extra healing. Honestly, even though it stressed him out to no end to have her cutting things balanced the way she was, it was also something that he had come to expect. Secretly, he wished she had fallen on that ankle, because that would mean she would have still been right there, trying to out-joke the dad joke master himself. 
Jungkook had holed himself away in his room, going to game, setting out a second controller without thinking about it. He had been in the middle of teaching YN how to play his favorite game, so that they could properly play together instead of having her just watch him play all the time. It felt wrong for him to have to just put away that second controller. 
The feeling was just exasperated when he went to start the game and it came up with the section that they had been working through. Fondly, Jungkook remembered the way YN would bring her bottom lip between her teeth as she concentrated on doing things correctly, bouncing in her seat when she finally figured out how something worked. Despite the fond memories, he found himself close to tears, staring at that second controller. 
Jimin and Hobi both went to the studio, deciding to dance away the hurt. Without thinking, Hobi went to ask YN what song they should freestyle to, the words dying in his throat as he turned around to talk to the girl that just wasn’t there. Jimin can see just how much pain Hobi is in, not even speaking as he brings the slightly taller man into his arms, feeling the same sense of loss. 
They sunk down to the floor, neither of them wanting to talk, which in itself was strange for the two normally boisterous men. Jimin missed the feeling of having YN curled up beside him, stealing his heat. Hobi missed being able to talk to her about the dances he was doing, getting a perspective from someone who didn’t really know anything about dance. They missed her. 
They didn’t realize until that moment, when the two were both trying to get the same sort of comfort from each other that they had begun to seek out YN for, how much of a hole there was in their group. Sure, they had been just fine before YN, and would be fine again without her, but there was a comfort with her that they didn’t know how to replace. Things just weren’t the same.
Taehyung busied himself with a book that Namjoon had been recommending to him about one artist that he recently found, but he couldn’t focus on the words or pictures in front of him. Instead, his mind was preoccupied with the fact that, for the past two months, he had spent this lazy time in the afternoon helping YN get from place to place, laughing with her as the others did this or that. He missed those moments, with YN laughing in his arms or on his back, even though it shouldn’t have been long enough for those feelings to settle in. 
He closed the book, flopping down onto the sofa he had settled on and trying not to think too hard about what he could have been doing with YN. If he was being honest with himself, he liked having someone who was so small and easily carried around, because he liked feeling big and important in comparison to her. It was an added bonus that her personality meshed so well with his own, and that she seemed to just understand  the weirder parts of his personality, instead of being put off by them like so many others. 
Sure, he was one of the largest of the pack, but that didn’t mean he felt like it. By wolf standards, he was pretty close to normal, but for whatever reason, he loved the way YN would curl into his side when they were seated next to each other, mumbling about being cold, looking absolutely tiny in comparison to his own body. 
Or how she’d sigh dramatically whenever she had to stand to do something, hopping around the room and never asking for help, despite the fact Taehyung would be the first to jump up and whisk her off her feet completely, just carrying her to wherever it was she needed to be, chiding her for not asking for the help she so clearly needed. 
Namjoon decided to go to the library, curling up in the chair that YN usually occupied in the mornings before everyone else woke up. His mind was swirling, automatically analyzing why he felt the way he did, instead of really feeling those feelings. Absently, he stroked the spine of the book that YN had been reading, a soft smile gracing his face when he realized that it was the one he had recommended when she was still completely bedridden during those first few days. 
He glanced down at the small table beside the chair, realizing for the first time that YN had left a little notebook under the book. He picks it up, flipping through it and quickly realizing that she had been taking notes over things she was eager to discuss with him, which should have made him happy, but in reality just made him feel worse because she wasn’t there to actually follow through. 
Namjoon chuckled to himself as he imagined YN, absolutely tiny in the chair, curled up in one of the fluffy blankets she always seemed to be wrapped up in, lovingly devouring the book that he had recommended to her, scribbling notes onto her notepad for later. He realized absently that he had missed one of the ways that she showed her growing love and appreciation for him was through this small action, making sure that she knew what she was going to say before their discussions. Namjoon was surprised when a drop of water fell onto the page in the notebook YN had marked, not realizing until he sniffled that it was his own tears. 
Yoongi locked himself up in his Genius Lab as soon as YN was in the car, headphones on as he did this or that to the song he had been working on. He tried to ignore the fact that he couldn’t hear the soft clicks of a keyboard behind him. He tried to ignore the sinking feeling of being lonely.
 He had never once felt lonely in his studio, not before he started letting YN hang out on the couch as he worked.
 Not until he got used to spinning around in his chair and seeing YN there, typing away on her laptop. He remembered hearing her little sighs of frustration or exasperation when something doesn’t work out quite right, her brow furrowed, her tongue sticking out slightly, with a growing fondness.
Yes, Yoongi liked being alone. He enjoyed the silence, he enjoyed his own company. He had always liked being alone, it was how he recharged. And it wasn’t until he let YN into his most private sanctum that he had ever really felt lonely. 
It wasn’t until Jin rounded all of them up for dinner that they realized that every single one of them were missing YN. 
“This is bullshit.” 
Yoongi is the one who speaks, heads turning towards him. None of them had really been in the mood for much talking, but none of them had figured Yoongi, of all people, would be the one to break the tense silence. 
“What, I know you’re all thinking it too. This is bullshit.” Yoongi glares at his plate, taking a deep breath before he looks up at the others. 
“None of us wanted YN to leave. YN didn’t want to leave. And now we are all miserable.” Yoongi stands now, not bothering to push in the chair he had been sitting on. 
“I don’t care what any of you do. I don’t care what the consequences are. I’m going to YN’s.” Yoongi’s eyes sweep the faces of the six boys he loves the most, a fiery intensity radiating off of him in a way that has them all flinching away from him. 
“Yoongi you can’t ju-” Namjoon starts, standing and going over to try to calm Yoongi down, but a sharp growl from Yoongi makes him stop in his tracks. 
“No!” Yoongi’s voice drops an octave as he steps closer to Namjoon himself, squaring up with the leader in a way that could very easily lead to a fight.
 “You know as well as I do Alpha,” Yoongi spits the word like it’s acid on his tongue. “she smells like one of us. She has our scent all over her. If they find out we let her go, that we aren’t around her all the time anymore, they’re going to kill her.” 
Namjoon opens his mouth to say something, anger bubbling up in him like a cursed well, when Jin stands, pushing himself between the two Alphas. 
“Both of you! Stop it!” Jin stands, making sure each of them are an arm’s length away from each other. “We all miss YN, but there’s a reason she’s not here. As much as it might seem like it, she isn’t one of us. She doesn’t belong with us.” 
The other boys are all standing now, helping to make sure Yoongi and Namjoon stay away from each other, trying to calm both of them down. A fight between the Alphas would not end well.
“How could you say that?” It’s Hoseok who speaks this time, his voice sounding oddly small. 
“Because it’s been almost a hundred years since there was a lost Omega! You all know how rare they are, seeing how strong the Omega gene is. We knew her uncle, and he didn’t have a lick of wolf in him, even if she managed to somehow get some wolf in her, it can’t be enough for her to be able to pack bond.” Jin flicks his eyes between the other boys, focusing his attention on keeping Namjoon behind him. 
It’s silent for what feels like hours. 
“Then why do I feel like I lost a piece of me, huh?” It’s Taehyung who speaks up this time, his hands clenched into tight fists at his sides, tears rising in his eyes. “Explain that, Hyung.” His voice is barely above a whisper, choked out over a growing lump in his throat. 
“I-” Jin starts, the words dying in his throat as he watches Taehyung turn into the closest person, seeking the comfort of someone else. 
For once, Yoongi opened his arms to Taehyung, glaring at Jin from over the other man’s shoulder, trying to comfort him. 
“I don’t know.” Jin finally admits, his face falling. 
Again, the room falls silent, only the soft sniffles of Taehyung breaking the deafening quiet of the room. 
“I think we all feel the way Tae does, don’t we?” Namjoon speaks for the first time in a while, the anger he had felt having finally subsided almost completely. There are nods from everyone. 
“The feeling is new, and we don’t want to make a mistake. If we report YN as being lost, she will become a target. If we don’t, we will. Let’s wait for at least a week before we approach her again.” Namjoon eyes the others in the room. “But let’s keep patrols heavy in her part of the woods.” 
Yoongi glares at Namjoon, thoughts swirling. A whole week without YN, knowing that she’s in pain being away from them? It sounded like downright torture to him. 
“Yoongi, Hyung, you know how big of a deal it is to be the pack with a lost Omega. She’ll become a target, just because she can’t handle half as much as we can. It’d be easy to not only to just kill her, but to break her spirit, to force her to tell them about our weaknesses as a pack. She’d have to be with at least one of us almost all the time, have to live with us. She’d have to give up big parts of her freedom, and the YN we know wouldn’t enjoy that at all.” Namjoon pauses, taking a deep breath. 
“We have to be sure before we approach her with this. For all we know, she won’t ever fully present and YN isn’t really one of the lost at all.” Namjoon brings a hand up to rub at his temple, a headache starting from the strong mix of emotions. 
Yoongi sighs, Taehyung finally detaching himself from the smaller man as Yoongi runs a hand through his hair. 
“You’re right Joon. I know you’re right.” He lets out another, more exasperated sigh before he continues, “It’s just hard, ya know? Waiting another week feels like torture, because I know, I know, that YN is hurting. And we caused it.” 
The other boys nod, giving murmurs of agreement as they start to dissipate, their meal forgotten as they begin to retreat again. For whatever reason, even the most other-person oriented of the pack wanted to be alone, wanted to have a minute to process everything that was going on by themselves. 
“Jin, Yoongi. Can we go talk further in the office? We need to actually figure out what to do next.” Namjoon catches Jin by the shoulder before he walks out of the room, reaching for Yoongi as well, even though he was across the room. 
Yoongi just nods, Jin letting out a short hum of approval. The trio then turn in unison, heading out towards the office space that Namjoon used so often. 
112 notes · View notes
starryeyedrogue · 3 years ago
Text
mental health & vent
again, a long one. please stick with me here.
tw: depression, anxiety, ptsd, epilepsy diagnosis, suicidal thoughts mention
hey everyone, like I said in my last post, I won’t be as active on here. this doesn’t mean I’m quitting by any means, I’m here for the long haul! I just need a break for a little bit. 
side note: I am not in any way suicidal or practicing self harm. this is just to vent and act as a PSA for my mutuals/followers.
now onto my main message. 
I’ve seen lots of posts about mental health lately, and I’m so incredibly proud of those who have spoken up. They’ve inspired me to make my own post, actually. normally I’d keep it to myself, but this time has been rough and I want to get it off my chest. I’ll probably delete this later, but still. 
I’ve been depressed. 
long story short, I had a very traumatic experience a couple years ago with an ex boyfriend (not going into it on this post, for details just dm me. not something I’d want to post publicly, this is just an explanation) and I was deeply depressed. I was never diagnosed “officially” because I was afraid to speak up, as this would expose what I was going through. I had really bad anxiety at that time too, and I still do. I also have PTSD flashbacks from it now and again. none of this was diagnosed, and I still don’t want to bring it up to my doctors/family. my irl friends don’t even know, at least not most of it. 
I have monoclonic epilepsy, which means my seizures are fairly small. my arms, legs, feet, hands, and fingers twitch, and I lose control for a few seconds. it doesn’t hurt, and sometimes I don’t even notice or remember it happening, but my family does. epilepsy in general runs in my family, and it can be triggered by a great deal of stress, lack of sleep, and of course flashing lights. in my case, I never “had” epilepsy or seizures until the “experience” I mentioned before, as it caused massive amounts of stress for about 2 years straight. it’s gotten better, as I now have medicine and am out of that situation, and I haven’t had a seizure since September, which is amazing and a huge blessing.
writing has helped with my depression and anxiety a lot, as I can write out what effects me the most. honestly, some of the characters are based off of myself (before vs after) and the person from the “experience.” this is just for therapeutic reasons, as I don’t really want to go to real therapy (I’d be too embarrassed to ask for it or talk to someone anyway, though I probably need to go eventually and plan to when I’m on my own). 
however, when I stopped posting it, I started feeling bad again. I didn’t think I needed to post my stories to feel better or to make a childhood dream into reality, but not posting it made me feel somehow worse. I’ve stopped writing as much, and I’ve lost motivation to do just about anything. I’m working on a couple things to help myself get out of this “funk,” but any tips would be greatly appreciated! 
this may seems stupid, but I’ve been depressed and very anxious about my schooling. I started in cyber security and got about halfway through, but I became depressed and had other issues so I didn’t finish the degree. now I’m starting in psychology, after praying for months and months for help with figuring out what to do for school. I finally got an answer, and that answer was to be a Christian counselor! I want to help as many people as I can, especially since I know how it feels to be anxious, depressed, and have PTSD. 
I’m dealing with a lot of changes right now, as I’m selling my first car, might have to move out of my first house/childhood home, and just a bunch of other stuff. this sounds trivial, but I hate change. it seriously stresses me out. my neurologist told me that if I have any more seizures, I won’t be able to drive for 6 months to a year to be safe (as I could have an “episode” as I call it while driving and hurt myself/others in a potential car accident). trust me, trying not to be stressed while being stressed, anxious, and depressed is not easy. 
on top of all that, my irl friends have all but abandoned me. I never hear from them (all but one, she’s the best!), and when I do they ignore me or pretend to listen when they obviously aren’t. I try to make plans with them, but they ignore me or just say “definitely!” but never try to set up times to hang out. It’s been almost two years since I’ve seen them all together. I was able to hang out with the friend I mentioned earlier to go to another friend’s recital, but that was it, and that was months ago. I totally get being busy, but I miss them and I don’t think they miss me, which really hurts. one friend ditched us on graduation day and we haven’t talked to her outside of “happy birthday,” or “@___ look at this thing I know you like,” which she never responded to. graduation was 4 years ago. I miss them all, even if they aren’t really my friends. I miss familiarity and their chaotic personalities. I’ve known them my entire life. honestly, I haven’t made any other friends irl, even though I’ve tried (I’m very introverted and a lot of people don’t get my humor/personality. I’m very much a mischievous old lady that uses weird wording (li.e. using uncommon words for my generation mixed with modern stuff, basically I sound like a vampire that’s been around since the 50s and mixes the eras together in some unholy mixture) at heart and I have very niche interests that I cling to like they’re my last hope). basically, making friends and meeting new people is hard for me for various reasons.
tumblr is different though, which I’m seriously grateful for! the people I’ve talked to are all so nice and really fun to talk to, and they’re part of why I’m posting this. @elvish-sky gave me the courage to post this and @hey-its-nonny and @padawansofthejediorder have been amazing and super nice to me, and I couldn’t be more grateful. the reason I’m posting this is to let them know what’s going on if I don’t respond to messages for a while, and to let them know what wonderful people they are and how much it means to me that they care about me, even if we’re just tumblr mutuals. I love you guys, thanks for being here! it means more than you know.
my mom and dad both had health scares recently, which made me spiral even more. I honestly don’t know what I would do if one of them died. they’re literally my world and my best friends, as ridiculous as that sounds. my mental health was so low I honestly thought I’d die too. they’re both fine now, which is truly a blessing and a massive relief. when I say I thought I’d die too, I don’t mean I wanted to commit suicide, but I honestly can’t imagine a world without my parents, especially my mom (hers was the main health scare, it was a case of reaction to a new medication for her migraines). we’re insanely close and she’s my best friend, as cheesy as that sounds. I don’t know what I would do without her. it’s making me teary just thinking about it. 
long story short, please be patient with me. I’m dealing with a lot right now, and I need some time to take a deep breath and focus on my mental health. if you have any suggestions/tips for dealing with depression, anxiety, and PTSD flashbacks, please let me know! 
for those I’ve tagged, you don’t have to reply or even read this whole thing if you want, I tagged you because I thought you’d like to know about this and/or I wanted to show my appreciation for your kindness!
I love you all, thanks for sticking around and listening to my rants. <3
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electricshoebox · 3 years ago
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writing tag
Tagged by the lovely @adventuresofmeghatron, thank you!
Tagging: @junemermaid, @molliehaswords, @desynchimminent, @valkyriejack, and @mercurymiscellany​, if you’d like to do it!
1.  How many works do you have on AO3? 
39. Holy shit. 
2.  What’s your total AO3 word count?
533,274 words. Holy shit.
3. What are you top 5 fics by kudos?
How to Share a Bed Without Killing Each Other: a Love Story (Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dorian/Iron Bull, 5 Chapters, Complete) The trials and tribulations of literally sleeping together.
Rivers in the Sand (Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dorian/Iron Bull, Oneshot, Complete) The Hissing Wastes unsettles Bull’s memories, and when he and Dorian are trapped together by a fallen pillar, Dorian helps him deal.
a soft place to land (Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dorian/Iron Bull, Oneshot, Complete) When a letter from his father sets him off, Dorian turns to Bull for a distraction.
Always Good at Bad Ideas  (Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dorian/Iron Bull, Oneshot, Complete) Bull gets injured fighting a dragon, which leaves Dorian frantic enough to blurt out the one thing he was trying to keep to himself.
Flashpoint (Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dorian/Iron Bull, Oneshot, Complete) “One time he got so excited he set the curtains on fire.”
4. Do you respond to comments?  Why or why not? 
Yes, always! I’ve seen various opinions on whether authors should, but to me, engaging with and getting excited with readers is half the fun and half the point. I also just really want people to know how much it means to me not only that they read, but that they take the time to leave a comment. Comments are hard to write. I completely sympathize with that, sometimes you just don’t know what to say or how to say it, and I absolutely don’t begrudge anyone that doesn’t. It just means a lot to me when people do, even when it’s literally just “This was cool!” or something, and I want them to know that it’s appreciated!
5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?
Hmmm. I guess that sort of depends on your definition of angsty. None of them have directly tragic endings, it’s just not in me to write that way, but I have one or two with open or less definitely, obviously happy endings. The rarepair DA2 oneshot I wrote for Merrill/Orana, Counting the Cost, has the most open ending, left completely up to interpretation. The Inception AU DAI fic I wrote for Dorian/Bull, In the Shadow of Dreams, has what I think of as an optimistic ending, and less a happy one. I tried to end that one with more romance, but it just didn’t fit the tone of the rest of the fic, so a quiet ending that signals a road to recovery was what I chose instead.
6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?
Most all of my oneshots have pretty happy endings. I guess I’m tempted say A Line in the Sand, my Deacon/MacCready start-from-scratch slow burn novel, just because it goes from antagonists to lovers and has the longest road with the most earned happy ending. I feel like the long struggle to get there makes it feel happier. 
7. Do you write crossovers?  If so, what’s the craziest one you’ve written?
Not really. Instead I’m sometimes tempted into AUs based on other media, but not full blown crossovers with actual different characters meeting. Even then, I’m really picky in what I enjoy. I’ve only written one, the Inception AU for Dragon Age that I mentioned above. Honestly, it requires no knowledge of Inception at all. I really just stole a bunch of concepts from it and then made my own modernized Thedas around them.
8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?
Thankfully no! I’ve received one or two kind of odd comments, but otherwise I’ve been very lucky and everyone’s been really nice.
9.  Do you write smut?  If so, what kind?
Hell yeah! I’ve written many kinds, really, whatever I feel like or whatever fits the fic. I’ve done plenty of your typical smut. I branched out into light BDSM with several of my Dorian/Bull fics, as well as waxplay and praise kink. I’ve also done some roleplay in the vein of “established relationship pretending to be strangers meeting at a bar” for Deacon/MacCready with By Any Other Name.
10.  Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I know of. 
11. Have you ever had a fic translated?
I have! Two of my Dorian/Bull fics, Wishing Stars and No Patron Saint of Silent Restraint, both by the same lovely person: landanding on AO3. I don’t think I stopped flailing for a solid day when I got the request for permission either time.
12.  Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Not since pre-AO3 days, beyond collaborating in a tabletop setting. I’m not completely opposed to the idea but it would have to be someone I felt really, really comfortable with and with whom I have really good communication. I’m really particular about my writing, and I’d need to know someone’s emotional comfort level with trading and changing and even eliminating ideas.
13.  What’s your all-time favourite ship?
Oh god that’s honestly really hard. I’ve written the most for Dorian/Bull and that ship will always have a special place in my heart. But I did write my first full-length novel for Deacon/MacCready, and they’ve already got me in the middle of my second. So they’re the ship that taught me I could do that, and they’re my beloved rarepair. There are a few more I absolutely love, but I think those are my top two right now.
14.  What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?
Definitely Uprising. It was the first time I tried longform fic, and it was meant to be an entire retelling of DA2 with Velanna as the Justice-bearing character, rather than Anders, because after learning the developers almost took DA2 in that direction, I couldn’t get it out of my head. I had a lot of plans for it, for how Justice might develop differently, for what it might have looked like if elves had been more of the battleground issue instead of mages vs. templars, for some angsty bittersweet long distance Nathaniel/Velanna and some complicated Fenris/Hawke and Merrill/Orana. But I drifted away from Dragon Age fandom in interest a long time ago, and I’m not sure I’ll ever get the steam back for it. I’m proud of how far I did get, though.
15. What are your writing strengths?
I feel pretty confident with dialogue, I can usually make a scene flow with it pretty well and I spend a lot of time trying to be meticulous about character voice. I’ve gotten a lot of positive feedback on my descriptions, which I appreciate and wouldn’t have considered a strength, but my readers have been kind. I think I’m pretty good at including body language, too, though maybe to a fault.
16.  What are you writing weaknesses?
Much as people have been kind on the feedback, I really feel like action scenes are a weakness for me. I don’t enjoy writing them and I struggle a lot to make them feel like they’re flowing over just bulletpointing. I also feel like I struggle to make them exciting. I feel like I struggle with exposition scenes as well, and keeping them interesting over info-dumping. 
17.  What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
I’m generally in favor of including them, but with the caution of doing thorough research if it’s not a language I speak. I shy away from it if I can’t be completely sure it’s accurate, because I don’t want to risk putting off a native speaker reader, or saying/doing something offensive. I’d expand that to include anything about another culture, really. For example, I’ve been slowly picking away at writing a Fallout fic for my Sole Survivor Anthony and Preston, and part of what has been slow going is just making sure I’m getting Anthony’s culture right. His parents immigrated from Vietnam, and I want his experiences with them and with his culture to be as accurate and respectful as possible, not falling into any stereotypes but also being allowed to be complicated. 
18.  What was the first fandom you wrote for?
Depends on what we’re measuring. The first fandom I ever wrote fic for of any kind was Sailor Moon. The first fandom I actually put fic on the internet for was Lord of the Rings, on good old fanfiction.net. The first fandom I published on AO3 for was Dragon Age.
19.  What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?
God this is such a hard question to answer, my feelings on my writing change so often. I think it’s hard for A Line in the Sand not to be my favorite for the reasons I’ve already mentioned, it’s my first successful novel-length fic, I accomplished a lot with it and learned a lot from it, and it’s a rarepair I got to kind of develop from scratch in my own way. 
But if I look back at my whole repertoire so far, just to branch out from the usual answer, I’d say I’m also really fond of To Have and to Hold, which was the first time I ever participated in a minibang, or really any kind of writing challenge. It’s a Dorian/Bull established relationship fic set during Trespasser, and it’s kind of a meditation on Dorian’s past and present and how they’ve shaped his feelings on love and commitment and marriage, all while he’s trying to decide his future. I’m proud of how it came out, and I think my Dorian voice still holds up okay. Plus I had two incredible artists working with me who put together stunning work for it, and how could I not be super grateful for that? 
It’s funny, most of the top ones up there for kudos are ones that I don’t personally think are my best, it’s a lot of my very early offerings for Dorian/Bull that I think I could improve on a lot of if I tackled them now. I’m grateful people like them but I feel like they’re more an accident of timing, being published early in the ship’s popularity. 
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sunwoocloud · 4 years ago
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sunflower
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↳ pairing: jacob x reader ↳ genre: fluff ↳ word count: 1538
A series of small coincidences attracted you to Jacob Bae just like sunflowers are drawn to the sun.
It had started on a bright sunday morning, birds chirping and fresh air coming through the balcony’s open doors, the gentle breeze swaying the lace curtains that did nothing to filter the sunlight. There were still a few boxes to be unloaded and piles of things to be organized in your new apartment, but independence felt good nonetheless. You had woken up earlier than usual to try and tidy up what you now called home, eyes still heavy with sleep while you did it.
You were so focused on your task that you almost missed the soft, soothing voice that came from your next door neighbor’s porch. Even though you were busy and had a long day of unpacking ahead, curiosity got the best of you — there was no hesitation in the way you lifted yourself off the cold floor and made your way to the balcony. You stopped right before you stepped outside, listening attentively to the calming melody being sung by the nameless neighbour. When you finally decided to look, being as quiet as possible to go unnoticed, you found yourself immediately smiling.
You couldn’t see his face, but you could see your neighbour’s brown messy hair while he watered his plants and sung them calming melodies. He’d gently lift their leaves before carefully watering them, so concentrated at the task that he didn’t even notice you were looking at him. He remained like that for a few minutes, blissfully unaware of your stare to the point where you almost felt bad for witnessing such a pure and loving moment. When he finished nurturing his plants, you quickly went back to the living room - out of his sight, but still unable to forget his pretty voice and caring nature.
Thanks to the stranger, the next day you found yourself searching for flower shops in your new neighbourhood, taking a sudden interest for plants. You had already pictured your own apartment filled with them, plants of different sizes and shapes adorning the small space with splashes of green. You had even pictured yourself singing for them, just like your neighbor did – although your terrible singing skills couldn’t compare to his soothing voice when serenading his flowers with sweet melodies.
You left your apartment on a mission, the afternoon sky blue and cloudless as you made your way to the closest flower shop. You arrived after a 10-minute walk, the discreet storefront adorned with a few flower vases. Since you knew nothing about plants — except for the fact that you were terrible taking care of them —, you made your way to the counter on the back of the tiny store right after walking in. By the time you had reached it, the only employee on sight had a full smile on display, both arms braced on the white desk decorated with rose bouquets of multiple colors.
“Hello, welcome to our shop!” the boy had greeted you sweetly, eyes crinkling. “What can I help you with?”
“Hi!” you paused to look at the tag attached to his apron, the name Jacob written in cursive letters. “I wanted to get some plants for my apartment, but I’m terrible at taking care of living things.”
He had laughed at your attempt to be funny, making you feel a little better.
“Don’t worry, I can help you find something that is easy to take care of,” his voice sounded as gentle as he looked, so you immediately felt like you could trust him — and not just for plant recommendations.
Jacob circled the counter in order to help, and you suddenly felt a little nervous of the sudden approximation. Having him so close to you made you realize he smelled like flowers and looked like sunny days. You almost forgot the initial reason you’d came to this shop, but he had gently signalized for you to follow him until you had reached a wooden shelf storage full of pots of plants.
“Are your plants going to stay indoors?” he asked, stopping right next to you. “If they are, succulents and cacti are always safe options. Lavender and peace lilies as well, you don’t need a green thumb to grow any of them,” he added, a small smile adorning his rosy lips.
“Some of them are, but I also have a porch. It’s not spacious but I can definitely squeeze some pots in there,” you said thoughtfully, your curious fingers gently touching some leaves to feel their texture.
“Wave petunias and marigolds just love to soak up some sun. Ferns and begonias prefer shade,” he pointed at them while explaining it so you could see the ones he was talking about.
Jacob spoke about flowers and plants with so much passion that you just wanted to keep listening to him for hours and hours — which apparently you did, because the sun had already set when you had finally picked which plants you wanted to take with you. You had obviously bought way more than what you’d originally expected, so much that you wouldn’t even be able to carry all of them at once to your apartment. Jacob looked at you with an apologetic smile when he realized that.
“I’m so sorry, I honestly didn’t even notice we’d been here for hours,” he bunched his eyebrows, looking remorseful. “And don’t worry about taking the plants, I’ll deliver them for you for free. You know... Since I kept you here for so long.”
“Oh please, as if I was being held captive,” you had waved the air dismissively. “I actually really enjoyed listening to you talk about it, otherwise I wouldn’t have stayed.”
The sentence had sounded different when you said it out loud, cheeks already burning with embarrassment right after the words had left your mouth. Jacob’s thousand watt smile when you said it made your self-consciousness worth it, though. He had walked you back to the counter so you could pay for your new green friends, and even made sure to give you a decent discount despite your attempts to convince him it wasn’t necessary.
He had guaranteed you the plants would be delivered the next day first thing in the morning before giving you your receipt — but when your hand had reached for it, he didn’t let go of the piece of paper. You had looked at him, confused for a second, and he stared back at you with a blush on his cheeks.
“You know what... Maybe I could give you a ride and take them now?” Jacob had said softly, biting his pouty lip in expectation.
You still remembered how the butterflies in your stomach had felt so real.
You had obviously agreed immediately, so he closed the store a little earlier than usual and the both of you loaded his car with the half dozen plants you had picked. You wished you lived a little farther away from the flower shop so you could spend more time with Jacob, but also thought about how grateful you were for your new neighbor — otherwise you wouldn’t have found your new interest in plants or cute boys that knew everything about flowers.
On the way to your apartment, the car was filled with some calm music and the melodious sound of Jacob’s voice as he talked to you some more about his job at the store. You had guided him through the streets until you reached the front of your building, but when you pointed at the entrance he smiled like you had just told him the happiest thing in the world.
“You’re not gonna believe this, but,” he had started, a smile so big that made you mirror his expression without even realizing. “We’re actually neighbors. I live here as well.”
“Oh.”
Only then you recognized his soft brown hair, soothing voice and particular interest in plants, everything connecting in a very fortunate and unexpected coincidence. You had laughed wholeheartedly, something like the most authentic happiness blossoming in your chest — just like the flowers he loved so much.
“Well... You’re not gonna believe this, but,” you had begun, drunk in contentment. “I actually only went to the flower shop because I have just moved here and accidentally witnessed my next door neighbor singing to his plants. I thought it was the most wholesome thing I’ve ever seen in my life, so I suddenly felt like I needed some plants as well. Turns out it was you.”
His surprised expression had caused more butterflies to fly around your belly, like the most beautiful garden had started to grow inside of you. Oh how you had wished he could also sing you some beautiful melodies while cultivating you, mellifluous voice pouring out of his velvety lips.
He had said, in the softest voice, that he felt like that wasn’t just a coincidence, but more like serendipity and fate intertwined. And while you admired him, lips upturned into a small smile and crescent shaped eyes, you had a feeling that Jacob indeed looked and felt like sunny days — so much warmth emanating from him that you had now bloomed into a little sunflower, drawn to his luminescence.
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smol-ghosts · 3 years ago
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Hey smol-ghosts 👋🏻 dropping by with some art appreciation 🙌🏻💙 your artworks are so stunning ☺️ already knew you from Instagram with kiribaku which I also love and when I saw you here with reed900 I was so hyped! 😁 Don’t know if you came back to the fandom, always were here and our paths just didn’t cross or if you joined for the first time, nevertheless I am glad to have you here and excited for your art! (So if you are new welcome to the fandom! 😁💙) Reed900 is my absolute OTP and I never would have guessed you know them, but now I am hyped that new people still come in 😊 thanks for the beautiful content 🥰
DUDE! 💕 okay okay first thank you so much for your sweet words! Your tags are always so nice 🥺💖 (btw I will be posting kisses tomorrow since one of them mentioned that 👀) and I was here for Reed900 last yearish cause of my bf introducing them to me and I’m just a sucker for an asshole finally meeting his match HAHA. I was just lowkey with it until I reread one of my fav comfort fics of them (fuck pride) and then pink’s fic and it started a chain reaction of me reading a bunch of fics and decided to actually contribute some content myself. Honestly I haven’t had this much motivation in so long it’s so nice. I’m also happy you like my krbk stuff! It is great and all too and I’m really grateful for the following I have on insta for that but being in a smaller fandom like this one is so refreshing? A small nit community that’s like homey? Anyways didn’t mean to ramble I’m just excited to be here and really happy others enjoy my work :D
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cowboyshit · 4 years ago
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twenty questions
tagged by: @dustofinsanity (thank you so much my dear!!!!!!)
what do you prefer to be called name-wise? honestly I’ll probably answer to most things as long as they aren’t mean. but ash, ashley, doe, those seem to be the solid three I’m known by around here when is your birthday? november 30th!  where do you live? in a tiny, backwoods cow-town smack dab in the middle of california three things you are doing right now? filling this questionnaire out, eating dinner I just finished cooking, and petting sadie with my foot since she’s curled up at my feet after she finished her dinner four fandoms that have peaked your interest. I guess I can go with four I’ve been heavily involved with, even though there’s plenty more than that since I’m a little fangirl at heart, but wrestling (obviously), black sails, the night shift, and pirates of the caribbean how has the pandemic been treating you? uh, I mean, it hasn’t been great and I’ve had to deal with some pretty bad shit as all of us have, and probably some of my worst mental health battles I’ve had to face in about a year or so, but honestly? I just kind of count my blessings these days. lucky to still be employed, even if my pay got a little cut it was nothing that keeps me from paying my bills. all I had to do was take away a few luxury things to make ends meet, and that’s a lot, LOT less than other people have had to do. so yeah, it’s been pretty shitty, this year has been bad news after bad news both personally and globally, but whatever. it could be worse. a song you can’t stop listening to right now? it is no-joke like a four-way tie. a bunch of good songs were in my discover weekly and I’ve been playing four of them on non-stop repeat one after the other. oh! and one my best friend showed to me. this baby don’t cry by k. flay, rock bottom by grandson, ok ok by hoko, and insurgents by the poolside by denny recommend a movie. i’ve jumped into holiday mood early af because tbh I need the holiday cheer, so keeping in that theme, I suggest the holiday with jude law because DUH how old are you? thirty! school, university, occupation, other? had some college, been working in my current career for the past ten years. hoping to pursue a promotion finally since my supervisors have been telling me for the past eight years that I need to promote do you prefer heat or cold? cold pleeeaaaase! I’m a radiator and put off heat like nobody’s business. I’m always warm. name one fact others may not know about you. this is hard because I just constantly blab everything about me, and I have two people who literally know EVERYTHING about me lmfao uhhh I guess... something people may not know... uhhh... on my dad’s side of the family one half was ashkenazi jewish who had to flee germany to avoid the holocaust, where they went to live in italy, while the other half were nazi’s committing some pretty bad stuff that my family won’t talk about, even to this day. funny how two descendants eventually met in america and fell in love, huh? and when they DID fall in love one of them was half italian and in the mafia! so I always joke that my bubbly cheerful self is a descendent of some pretty evil shit, and it feels like a nice little stab at those shitty ancestors of mine. are you shy? uhhh yeah and no??? like. I think I’m shy, since all interaction terrifies me and exhausts me, but everyone tells me I’m a social butterfly? and I’ve noticed in places I’m comfortable and confident, I do tend to be less shy and more involved and interactive? but I think I can be shy. a lot of waiting for other people to initiate because I’m too afraid to, struggling to talk or carry a conversation at times... I don’t know I think I’m overcomplicating this answer LOL preferred pronouns? she/her!  biggest pet peeves? gatekeeping, to be perfectly honest. I stopped following wrestling back in 2014 because when I first tried to get into the fandom, someone was trying to gatekeep a wrestler I also liked and had started making content for and they made me feel like shit for liking them, and I absolutely hated it. that’s why it took me an entire two years of quietly lurking in the wrestling fandom before I finally got brave enough to come out of the woodwork, and I’m grateful I’ve been so well received this time around. but now I’m hyper-sensitive to gatekeeping and I fucking hate it. no joke. and since it’s a pet peeve and I’m irked just remembering all that bs I went through, ima say I’m only a part of fandom to share my love of whatever that thing is with other people who love it too. I can’t stand anyone who thinks they have some sort of “claim” over a celebrity or a show or anything. get a different identity that isn’t wrapped up in that thing and stop seeing it as a threat when other people like it. be happy someone else is as passionate about that thing as you are and make a friend. damn. what is your favorite “dere” type? I’m pretty sure this is something with anime or that originated from anime, right? unfortunately I don’t know what they are so I can’t say LOL I don’t even know if I’m right about it coming from anime tbh rate your life from 1-10, 1 being crappy and 10 being the best it could be. 4, 5, but I’m putting in the foundation now and working to make it a 6, 7, or possibly 8 by a year or two from now. what’s your main blog? funnily enough? this one. my OTHER blog that was my main blog since I joined tumblr in 2009 got shoved to the side for this one last year LOL I assumed I’d log onto this blog once in awhile, but now it took over my whole damn life so here I am I guess list your side blogs and what they’re used for. I’m going to be fair and ONLY list my active ones because I have a few side blogs from when I role-played on tumblr that I haven’t touched in over a year. @doedreamss is my non-wrestling blog that WAS my main blog before this one, @cowboysht is my archive where I am ONLY putting my original gifsets/analysis/fanfiction so that one day I can offer people a blog of just my original work and no other posts (the queue is very slowly catching up I think I’ve queued posts up until june this year), @illfatedandstarcrossed is just a non-frequently used outlet for me to mope and dump emotions when I get sad about my relationship things (like a diary! but... public? and not my original thoughts? LOL), and then I have one more blog but it’s locked and private and it’s LITERALLY my diary where I can just vent when I got shit I wanna get off my chest but don’t necessarily want people to see it. Is there something people need to know about you before becoming friends? I probably won’t talk to you daily, tbh. I may not even talk to you weekly. socializing takes a lot out of me, on top of an already energy draining day-to-day in my personal life. I have a handful of people I connect with who I talk with frequently, but unfortunately as much as I’d love for it to be endless, I have to keep that list short for my own sanity. my infrequent conversations mean absolutely nothing about my lack of interest in you or how much I care about you. my granny once said I would be the perfect friend for someone you only want to talk to twice a month and she thought she was insulting me, but deadass I just said “YEAH! EXACTLY!!”
tagging: I really like this one so I WANT to tag people, but I feel braindead and also just want to post it cause I feel like I am definitely gonna forget to tag someone tbh aaaaahh okay okay I’m just gonna throw some names out there but please don’t feel pressured to do this (it is TWENTY questions) @kennyhoemega, @champbucks, @superkickparty, @adampage, @hintsofsunshine, @audreyhrnes, @sheslikealostflower, @lancearchers, @champnick, @janelanutella, @edgecution, @superrezzy00, @wardl0w, @writinglionqueen, @orangechuckiet, @hungmanhorsecarriage, @icouldbesus, @thatnerdwriter, @rampagewriting, @snarkandsarcasmftw, @tetsuyainthesky AND I DUNNO JUST ANYONE WHO WANTS TO OK I LOVE YOU ALL BYE
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multimuse-rp-archived · 4 years ago
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So apparently I have 500 followers now?!? I seriously cannot thank you guys enough! I’m so grateful for every single one of you! I never expected this blog to become what it is today. I just... thank you guys so much!
I’m going to do what a lot of other people do and give a shoutout to some specific people - I love you guys so much!
@jaimelannisterthings you were the first person I ever interacted with on my Tyrion blog. I was so nervous, especially because your writing was just AMAZING! But you’ve stuck with me from the start, and I’m so incredibly grateful for your friendship! You’re the best!
@the-stark-queen you are so sweet! You’ve always made me feel good about myself, and your portrayal of Sansa is just... *chef’s kiss* I cannot thank you enough for sticking by my side and being an amazing supporter through thick and thin!
@severityforgreatness you are seriously amazing! I love you and your writing so much! I don’t even have the words to describe it lol. But seriously, you’re incredible and one of my best friends on here! I’m so happy we get to write together and chat ooc!
@rosefromdeath where do I even start? You’re such a talented writer, and never forget it! Anyone who says otherwise is a complete fool. You’re super sweet, and I cherish all our interactions! I can’t wait to keep writing with you!
@boltxnbastard again, I just have to tell you that your portrayal of Ramsay is literally... I can’t even describe how good it is! You are also such a sweet person! Please always remember that your writing is the best of the best! Love ya!
@dumbthink / @hitundo I love your characters so much! I love our interactions, and I love the chaos that comes out of them lol. Honestly, those chaotic threads are probably some of my favorite ones to write because I can just have so much fun with them! Lol seriously though, you’re amazing, and I’m so glad we’ve became friends and interacted a bunch!
@timidstrcngth Peeta and Valerie literally give me so much life! And you’re such a nice person! I’m so glad we can both obsess over our muses and interactions and stuff! Valerie is precious and adorable and I love her so much! Peeta is incomplete without her lol. Here’s to many more awesome and cute interactions!
@amurderbutnotacrime / @wouldntlastfiveminutes we haven’t written together for a super long time, but we have a ton of awesome threads! Not many people write Beth as good as you do! And we all know Rio needs his Beth ;) thank you so much for being such an amazing writing partner! I can’t wait to see where our threads take us!
@dragvnflare I’m not even sure where to start! The way you portray Dany is so amazing, and you’re such a sweet person! I love talking to you ic and ooc. You were one of the ones that has been with me since my Tyrion blog, and I can’t thank you enough for sticking with me always!
@gangfrnd we have barely interacted, but ever since I finished watching good girls, I’ve admired your blog! I was a little nervous to approach you just because your portrayal is SO good, and I was afraid mine didn’t even compare xD but you seem like such a nice person, and your writing is amazing! Let’s definitely write more! Rio for life!
@silvcrignis / @dcusrclicta you are seriously amazing! I love your muses, I love our interactions, and I love our ooc chats! I’m looking forward to more interactions with you and your amazing muses in the future! Love ya!
@thegoodandthegreat you and I can literally obsess over ships and muses and, well, everything! It’s just so nice to be able to talk with someone who’s as excited as I am when it comes to our threads and fandoms and stuff! You’re such a sweet person, and I can’t get enough of our interactions!
@fxntasmagoria okay, I seriously love the way you write Zoe! I can tell you’ve put a ton of thought into her character, and I just think she’s amazing! Then again, all of your muses are amazing lol. I love interacting with you! We haven’t talked too much ooc, but you seem super nice! Hit me up anytime!
@galaxysought you and your muses are so amazing! I love every single one of our interactions, whether it’s with on my block muses, game of thrones muses, or anything else! Speaking of which, I’m so glad you watched on my block! Lol it’s such a good show! Anyway, you’re super sweet and super talented, and I’ll always be grateful for your friendship!
@legends-and-savages I’ve been writing with you for a long time, and you’ve honestly given me a lot of inspiration! I’ll look at some of your other threads and read them, too, just because I love your writing! You’re also super nice ooc, though we haven’t talked a ton. I’d love to write more, so I’ll probably be sending a lot of memes xD feel free to do the same! <3
@betweenthesinnersandthesaints I wrote with you back when you had Brienne on a single muse blog, and I’m so happy you have a multi now! All of your muses are portrayed soooo well! Also, I never thought I shipped Harry and Luna too much, but I do now! ;) hit me up for memes and plotting anytime!
@saltxwolf okay I know we haven’t interacted in a while, but your Theon portrayal is literal perfection! I also just love interacting with you ooc because you’re so easy to talk to, and you’re so sweet! Let’s keep in touch - I’d love to chat with you and write with you more! <3
@gloryxfades / @ladyxredxwolf I absolutely love the way you write Sansa! She’s a complicated character, and I feel like you really understand her! You’re super talented, and I love chatting ooc with you too! Crossovers are always welcome ;) love ya!
@prophecyfated when I first got into reign roleplaying and added my reign muses, your blog was the first I noticed! The way you write francis is just... *chef’s kiss* and I honestly sometimes read some of your other threads just for the quality content! Lol listen, I admire you so much, and I can’t wait to write with you more!
@ladystaarliing ahhhhh you are so incredibly sweet! I love Sarah (especially with Tyrion LOL), and I miss interacting with you! I’ll definitely try to be more active on my tyrion blog from now on so I can send you shippy memes and stuff! They’re adorable lol and you’re such a talented writer!
@villainouspassion where do I begin? I love the way you write your muses, and the way they interact with each other lol. I love it when you post those things about “muse moods” XD I think it’s entertaining to read some of your other threads, too! But listen, you’re an amazing writer, and I’d love to interact with you more again! Hmu for plotting or send memes anytime!
@armandlucienduval / @winewhiskeybloodandchocolate holy shit I can actually tag you! Lmfao. But in all seriousness, you’re an amazing person, and Armand is the best! I can’t get enough of him lol. You can talk to me anytime, whether you’re doing well or not, I’ll always be here for you!
@getlostsqdwrd we’ve interacted a bit. Not overly, but a bit. And honestly? Your muses and the way you write them? Perfection! I can’t get enough of them! You’re also just really nice ooc and a great person to talk to! I would love more interactions, so feel free to send meme spam and/or hmu to plot! <3
@starlessyonder I had so much fun playing among us with you! Our discord group is amazing lol. You’re also a super good writer and a really sweet person! I can’t wait to write with you even more - and kill you in among us lol
@smokedanced we haven’t interacted a ton, but your writing style and muses are so amazing! You’re so talented! I love getting meme spammed so feel free to do it again xD and I’ll do the same for you! Or, if you want to plot, message me! I’d love more interactions with you!
@itwcntsurviveme raven is literally my favorite character on the 100, and I have to say that nobody else can quite capture her voice like you can! I remember being so honored when you followed me back lol. I’d love more interactions with you, so hit me up anytime to plot or send memes! We stan Raven forever!
@reformed-serial-killer damon is such a hard character to write for me tbh, and I often refer to your portrayal of him to help me when I’m not feeling his muse as much! You’ve put so much thought into writing him, and it pays off 100%! You’re extremely talented, and I would love to write with you more! <3
@xchxsingcxrsx / @jxime-lxnnister you were one of the first people to ever write with me on my Tyrion blog, and I love that you’ve continued to stick with me through my vast number of blogs! Lol seriously, thank you so much for being so talented and always willing to try different things in our threads!
@blackroselovesyou you’re so sweet! Whenever I talk to you ooc, you’re always so incredibly nice and open to new ideas/interactions between muses! I love writing with you so much, and I miss the times when we had more threads! Things have been crazy lately, but come to me to plot and/or send memes anytime!
@musenssang it’s been a long time since our last interactions, and I miss you! You’re always so sweet, and your muses are awesome! You’re such a talented writer. Never forget that! I can’t wait for us to interact even more!
@thecrxmxnal we’ve hardly interacted, but I smile every time you pop up on my dash! It’s been a while since I’ve seen the Breakfast Club, but you’re really tempting me to watch it again! Lol. In all seriousness, you’re a really good writer, and I’m really excited for more interactions with you!
@thxwxlf your oc is the literal definition of a badass! I love her! I can tell you’ve put a ton of thought into her character, and it pays off! You’re an amazing writer, and I can’t wait for us to continue to make awesome threads!
@santagabriela I’m really not sure if you’re active anymore, but I couldn’t leave you out! I love your portray of Gabriela, and I think she’s amazing! I really miss our interactions. You’re super talented and really sweet ooc! Feel free to IM me anytime!
@tricksterreformed Gabriel and bobby give me life xD no but seriously, the way you write him is sooooo good! I’ll check out some of your other threads sometimes just for fun! I smile whenever I see you on the dash because you just bring such good vibes! Let’s write more! <3
@damnstory we really haven’t interacted much yet, but I have admired your blog from the start! Your portrayal of Bellamy is *chef’s kiss* amazing! Feel free to message me anytime to plot and/or send me memes! Can’t wait to interact with you more!
I feel like I’m definitely forgetting people lol. But seriously, I love each and every one of you! All of you are welcome to send me memes, reply to my opens, chat with me ooc, plot with me... anything you need, I’ve got you! Stay positive, and stay awesome! Happy writing!
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epochofbelief · 5 years ago
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Breath Control, Chapter Seven
An A Court of Mist and Fury College Swim Team AU
All characters belong to SJ Maas!
Feysand.... and welcome to Elriel. 
Warnings: cursing
Let me know if you want to be tagged! 
Authors Note: This chapter is a BIG gateway chapter to a lot of things. . . also VERY lightly edited... and enjoy the new POV shift... ;)
Masterlist Link!
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SEVEN
~~~Elain~~~
It was around 9 am. I’d been in the kitchen for an hour already, trying to decide what to make for breakfast. I’d started making pancakes, then switched to waffles, then omelets.  I’d be set on my decision for as long as it would take me to pull out all the ingredients for my choice, then I’d change my mind, put everything back, and pull a bunch of different things out. 
My father walked in at around 9:30, as I was pulling the muffins I’d made from scratch out of the oven. I’d decided muffins were neutral enough that everyone in the house would like them and that I could make them well enough to everyone’s satisfaction. Nesta said I worked too hard to please people. 
No clue where she got that idea. . . 
“Is no one else up?” my father said.
I shook my head. “Just me and the muffins.”
He took one, buttered it, and made to sit down. He seemed to think better of it, though, because he set his muffin down and stood up straight. “I’d better go wake Feyre. I want to ask her about all those paint cans and supplies she’s left in the garage, and someone has to be here to eat these muffins. Best to do it know while Mr. Night sleeps; I know how sensitive that girl can be about her painting.”
I nodded, standing alone at the counter before I remembered.
“Dad, Dad, Dad! Let me wake up Feyre. I--um--”
He was halfway up the stairs when I caught up to him, pausing to look down at me. I went with the oldest trick in the book. “Girl stuff.” I widened my eyes meaningfully. “Best if I check up on her first.”
I prayed my father didn’t see through my very feeble attempt to make him uncomfortable. But it worked. He clicked his tongue and descended the staircase. “I’ll take your word for it, Elain. Hurry down. And tell Feyre to hurry too…”
It was like he knew. Oh Feyre was so going to owe me. 
I bounded up the stairs, not slowing until I was at the top of Feyre’s own narrow staircase. I knocked and entered, ready to get a kick out of what was about to happen.
“Oh, Feyreeee, Dad needs you downstairs.”
Nothing for a few moments. I thought I heard whispers but from where I stood, I  couldn’t see anything besides the large lump of her white bed coverings. “I guess I could send Dad up here…”
The whispering became clearer, now, and I made out something like, “Shut up!” and “I’ll handle it” and “Calm the fuck down.” 
Feyre suddenly appeared in a very large t-shirt and nothing else. “Thanks, ‘Lain.” She practically hissed my name. She stalked across the floor toward me. “How’d you know?” She murmured.
“Got up for a glass of water last night. Saw Rhysand’s ass as it cleared the top of the staircase. Figured I’d save you from Dad’s wrath.”
Feyre rolled her eyes. “We didn’t do anything. And Dad has no right to dictate what I can and can’t do.”
“Obviously not,” I agreed. “But he could make things very awkward.”
“True. We’ll--I’ll--be down in a second. Please don’t tell Nesta. She’d be unbearable.”
“Tell me what?” A voice like iron floated across the small landing. 
Feyre shut her eyes and I cringed. Nesta’s judgment might be worse than our father’s.
“Hey, Nesta,” Feyre said guiltily. 
“Feyre. Hi Rhys!” Nesta raised her voice imperceptibly. 
A tan hand rose from the bed. “Why the fuck do you have so many sisters, Archeron?”
The light that shone behind Feyre’s eyes was like nothing I’d ever seen before. In either of my sisters’ faces. Or my own. I bit back my own grin. After Tamlin, and the shitty year Feyre had had, I just wanted her to be happy. And Rhys was so good-natured. Didn’t hurt that he was hot, too. She deserved to look all happy despite being caught out by her two older sisters.
“I’d get downstairs quick. And arrive separately.” Nesta was fighting back a laugh. “I can’t wait to hear Dad chew you out for your sex life. For once, it won’t be me.” She smiled wickedly.
“We didn’t--I didn’t--get out!” Feyre screeched at us. 
“You’re welcome,” Nesta and I said in unison, and we grinned at each other. Feyre pushed us out with surprising strength and slammed the door.  
“That was fun.” Nesta started down the staircase first. 
I was about to respond when my phone vibrated in my back pocket. I pulled it out.
Azriel: Mooorning
“Who’s that?”
“Huh?”
“Don’t play dumb.” Nesta dropped her voice to a low whisper as we descended the main staircase and headed for the kitchen. “You’re grinning like an idiot, and not in the ‘I just caught my sister with a boy in her bed in my dad’s house’ way you were earlier.” 
“Uh, just looking at a meme.” Weak.
“Because you spend so much time scrolling through memes.”
Thankfully, Nesta let the subject drop. I honestly wished she hadn’t. Everyone had been treating me like a fragile piece of glass since the whole Greyson debacle. And while, yes, I wasn’t quite ready to share that I’d been secretly talking to Azriel for the past two months… I was strong enough to handle some sisterly teasing, or even fatherly teasing. Or any kind of teasing.
Instead, everything was, “Oh, Elain, your cookies taste so good!” and, “Oh, Elain, the garden looks wonderful!” and, “Oh, Elain, how’s nursing school?” Nobody wanted to talk about anything real with me, because they thought I wasn’t ready. And if I was the one to start down that road, they’d continue to tread on ice around me and just be grateful I was talking at all. Too grateful to really listen to what I had to say.
Which was why I’d downloaded a dating app two months ago, swiped right on all of two guys before I’d found someone worthy of deleting the app immediately after we started messaging. It’d been a constant stream of texting and snapchatting ever since, even if we hadn’t met up in person yet. My romantic past, Azriel’s loner tendencies, and the fact that he was one of Rhys’s best friends and Feyre’s teammate had made us decide to take things slow. But seeing how happy Feyre was with Rhys--and she didn’t even know it quite yet--made me think that I should tell my sister and then get Azriel to take me out. 
That would certainly surprise everybody. Elain made of glass, indeed.
Before I could lose my nerve, I texted Azriel back. Sliding my phone back into my pocket, I reentered the kitchen with a smile on my face, trying not to ponder on the message I’d just sent.
Elain: I’ve been thinking. . . We should meet up… Face to face. 
Elain: Like on a date. 
I got a response within a moment and didn’t need to check my phone to know what it said.
Azriel: Hell yes. 
~~~FEYRE~~~
I slammed the door shut. I looked behind me to find Rhys, breathtakingly shirtless, propped up on one elbow behind me. 
“What are the chances that both of your lovely sisters keep their mouths shut about this? Cuz I have a feeling even a mutual love for collegiate athletics won’t stop your father from kicking me out of the house for staying the night in your room.”
I slumped onto the bed and he was suddenly there, filling all the empty space in the room as he hovered over me. I closed my eyes, fighting back a smile. “They’ve had their fun. Sisters don’t snitch.”
He rested his forehead against my shoulder. “Great. Not that I care about you, of course. I’m just very concerned about where I’ll have Thanksgiving dinner if your dad kicks me out.”
I sat up and pushed him back against the blankets all in one motion. “You take that back,” I said playfully. 
“Make me.”
“How about I go down there and confess to my dad before Nesta or Elain can rat us out? Then I’d be rid of your sorry ass much more quickly.”
“Feyre!” Elain’s voice floated up the stairs tauntingly, interrupting our flirting.
“This isn’t over, Archeron,” Rhys said threateningly. 
I pointed to the door. “Go put on something presentable. Your hair’s a mess.” 
He scowled. But he kissed me lightly on the lips before he left the room and I almost told him to forget about family breakfast and stay up here with me, instead.
------
The day passed in a blur. We spent the majority of it in the kitchen prepping for Thanksgiving lunch tomorrow afternoon. After a while, we all retired to the living room and marathoned the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Rhys sat next to me on the couch and as soon as it got dark enough outside that my father, Nesta, and Elain probably wouldn’t notice, he took my hand under our shared blanket and I set my head on his shoulder. 
I stayed in his room that night, although we were both too tired to do much other than fall into bed after a day spent in the kitchen. I woke before him the next morning and tiptoed downstairs to let him sleep.
I found Elain and Nesta arguing in my kitchen. 
“Why don’t you just tell me who he is,” Nesta was saying in a very low, very dangerous voice.
“Butt out, Nesta. It’s no one.”
“If it was no one, there’d be nothing for me to butt out of, now would there be?”
Elain was gripping the island countertop in the center of the kitchen. Nesta, surprisingly, was cooking up a huge skillet of scrambled eggs. It smelled as though they were starting to burn while her attention was focused on Elain. 
Elain’s phone vibrated. “Who is he?” Nesta shrieked.
“Fuck off!”
“What’s going on?” I asked. 
They both started speaking at once. 
“Elain’s being stupid--”
“Nesta won’t stay out of my own fucking business--”
“Help me convince her--” 
I held up my hands. “Oh, both of you shut up! Elain. Explain.”
Nesta mumbled something under her breath that I chose not to hear as Elain sighed. “Nesta thinks I’m talking to a boy. She thinks that she has a right to know who he is--if he even exists,” Elain added with an eye roll, “and that she deserves the right to approve. I told her to fuck off, but she’s not listening.”
I’d never heard so many “fucks” from Elain in one conversation. There was definitely a boy. 
“Well, why don’t you tell us? After everything…”
Elain pushed herself back from the countertop, throwing her hands up in the air. “I’m not some fragile teenager who doesn’t know how to speak to boys! Despite what you think about how terribly broken I am after Greyson, I know what I’m doing! And now I don’t want to tell you even more. So leave me alone.” 
She turned and pushed through the door that led from the kitchen to the side yard. 
I looked at Nesta. She looked at me. 
“She better be getting it reallll good to get so upset with us for asking about it,” Nesta said.
I took a seat at the barstools surrounding the island. “Do you think she. . . Do we really treat her like a teenager who doesn’t know how to speak to boys?”
“Maybe. But that’s because she doesn’t know how to speak to boys--or men, for that matter.”
Nesta thought she knew what was best for Elain--and she usually did. But Nesta also liked getting her way. When her way wasn’t Elain’s way. . . It was difficult for both of them. I resolved that no matter what Nesta thought, I’d try to give Elain some space when it came to her Mystery Guy. Even if I was dying to find out who it was. 
“Speaking of boys. . .” Nesta began, but at that moment, Rhys stepped into the kitchen. Thank God. I didn’t know what exactly was going on between us at the moment. Discussing it with Nesta would be torture. 
“Good morning,” I said brightly as Rhys took a seat beside me. 
“Is it?” He asked. Nesta had turned around to find her eggs burnt to a crisp, ignoring Rhys entirely.
“What’s wrong?”
Rhys leaned his elbows on the counter. “My father called. He’s in town. And wants me to spend the weekend with him in my hometown.”
I couldn’t help the fear that gripped me at his words. Was he just making this up because he wanted to escape me? I struggled to keep my voice steady. “Where’s that?” 
“Two hours north of here.”
“Well I can take you and drop you off tomorrow morning,” I managed to say. “Would that work?”
He blinked. “I did tell you that my father is a horrible person, right?”
“Not sure you mentioned it. . . But it’s Thanksgiving. You should be with family.” Which was true. Although I’d rather he stay here.
He rolled his eyes. “I can’t burden you with driving all the way out there and back just so I can spend the weekend with a very unideal candidate.” He gave me a look that told me who was the ideal candidate. Maybe he wasn’t making this up. . . 
“Um. . . Uber?”  Stay here, stay here, stay here.
“Too expensive.” He glanced at Nesta, and then turned to face me more fully. “You could stay with us. We can just make it ‘meet the parents’ week.” He smiled hopefully.
Relief flooded my body. “Well…” I definitely wanted to go with him. Right now I didn’t want to leave his side at all after the past two nights sleeping in his arms. But I didn’t want to offend my family.
Nesta banged the skillet against the edge of the trash can, causing both Rhys and me to jump about a mile. “Go with him, Feyre. I’ll talk to Dad.”
I couldn’t help the smile that exploded across my face. “I guess you’re stuck with me.” I grinned at him. 
“There’s no one else I’d rather be stuck with.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tag List: @sleeping-and-books​ @musicalfae​ @queen-of-glass
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dannydouni · 4 years ago
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I got tagged by @faceless-dude for smth. And like. All I want to say is that you so much. Cuz I’ve had this sitting in my drafts for months and I didn’t know when would be a good time to post it. Or like update it or like just when I should do anything with it. So yeah. Thank you so much for helping me get the chance to post this :)))
“I’ve had this in my drafts for some time now probably since the Canadian thanksgiving and like only touched on it a few times, and well I never got to post it cuz I got well uuuhhh... shy I guess and at that time a lot of things were going down and stuff. And because of that I just felt like it had no meaning whatsoever anymore. So I thought I’d edit it a bit so it fits better and so I can finally post it and stuff.... sometimes it’s nice to get something out there after having it written down for so long. And well what better time to post it than now XD on New Years!. Anyways here it goes”
Hey guys, friends especially, ITS A NEW YEAR!!!!!! I just wanted to pop in and say that...well...thank you. And while I don’t really mean this directly to anyone so far (details for ppl that I know on this app will be written later on in this post). I know it’s usually super cheesy and just cringe and stuff but I honestly couldn’t care less about that stuff when it comes to the people close to me and to the people I love and care about. So I would like to take this opportunity to thank y’all. First and foremost. What the actual fuck guys. Why lmao. Out of everyone in this world you bunch picked the weirdest, ugliest and just straight up stupidest dude out there to be friends with XD, y’all do know there was much better than this out there right XD. I legit have no competition since I’m just so bad LOL. But still, for some reason, with all the shit I just listed y’all still decided it was a good idea to be friends with me. Y’all still decided it would be a great idea to stick with me up until now. Y’all still decided that I could belong with other people that I could fit it with you guys. That I could.... have genuine, real and just straight up amazing friends. I have absolutely no fucking clue how this turn of events happened. But I can say this with full certainty. You guys have changed my life. You guys are probably the main reason I’m still kicking around to this day lol. You guys are the reason I keep going and keep living and just keep enjoying the tiny gifts that life has to offer sometimes instead of pain XD. I still don’t and probably will never understand why or how god or life decided to be nice to me the few times I met one of you but I’m honestly so eternally grateful that I just... I have no words almost.... I just don’t know what to say sometimes. It’s honestly so out of this world how amazing and nice some of you are even tho I’m like the complete trash of this world XD. In all honesty.... without you guys I’d probably not even be here lmao... I’d probably would’ve just went on with my life with nothing to wish or hope for other than for the next day to pass even quicker than the last.... or just for days to just over as soon as they start... I won’t say more cuz that’s shit is personal and I’m not about to write that in public 😎. But like I know for sure that without you guys. I would not be here right now. So thank you. Thank you for everything. Thank you for all the memories you’ve given me, the countless nights you’ve made me die of laughter, The countless times you’ve made me choke and almost die from how funny something would be, the countless times you’ve made me think “damn I don’t ever want to wake up from this dream if this is not real”. Just thank you, for talking to me, for letting me vent, for letting me be there for you when you were there for me, for being my rock to lean on, for helping me go through the toughest of times like if it was a normal day. Thank you guys so much for treating me like an equal, for being friends with me, for playing with me, for inspiring me, for teaching me new things and helping me with anything I could ever ask for. Thank you guys so much, and while words will never be able to fully explain what I fully mean or what I fully feel. But I hope that this at least will give you an idea of how greatfull I am for you guys... i hope this will show you how thankful I am for you guys. I love you guys so much that the word love just can’t even express how much you guys truly mean to me. You guys have changed my life for the better and even tho I will probably never be able to repay that I’m hoping that I can do something to at least return how much y’all have done for me. And even tho a lot of the people I mean by this message are not on Tumblr I have a few that are and it is for that reason that I will thank you and write something for you guys here too. So here is the part for the specific people.
@frogb, Genny :)
Genny :D
GENNYYYYY >:D
Good God..... how are you even real XD well to start off, a quick intro :).... probably my only irl friend that is actually active on this app and of course MY BEST FRIEND FOREVER IN THE WORLD AND THE #1 PERSON IN MY LIFE >:), I want to take this opportunity to just thank you again (I know I’ve said a a bunch of times and you probably hate me for saying it a lot XD, that along with sorry :(((( I can’t really control that Lmao but I’m getting better at it right :D). You....you’re my best friend :)... you have changed my life for the better way too many times cuz. I’ve honestly lost count dude. I’ve lost count. I just want you to know that even tho I said that the first thing I wrote on this post was meant for a bunch of people. I was really mainly thinking about you when I wrote it. Ever since you’ve been part of my life. You have made sure to change it completely. And only for the good and for the better. I don’t think you have a genuine idea of how much you’ve changed my life and how much you’ve made me happy :)... thank you Genny thank you so much for being the best thing to ever happen to me. Genny you truly are the best most amazing, kindest, nicest, loveliest, most wonderful, most talented person I’ve ever met. Look I won’t write my full thing here since...well I’ll say the rest to you directly. But well .. Genny... I love you... I love you so fucking much alright :D thank you for being the highlight of my life. Thank you for being you Genny and thank you for being here for me and just being my best friend in the world :)
@ritsu-in-a-maid-dress , heyyy duuuudee buddy chum buddy pal XD (don’t ask lmao), I know we like met only a few weeks ago actually idk maybe at the point when I actually decide to post this it’ll be months or like a year 😳 (and if it is HOLY SHIT WTF I HOPE I ACTUALLY TOLD YOU SOMETHING IN THAT TIME CUZ DAMN) and well so far, you have been nothing but an amazing, way too nice, handsome friend that has somehow probably one of the sweetest hearts out there. You’re actually so fucking funny and have made my day much better sometimes just from the very few talked we’ve had lmao (correction now it’s actually been quite a few 😳and honestly they’re getting to much better and funnier so thank you so much for making me laugh :D (oh and I will never forget that one call we had for 3 FUCKING HOURS DUDE!!!! THAT WAS AWSOME!!!) ) and while at first I was very shy to even talk to you. I’m happy that I can comfortably say hi without any regrets or anything lmao. I will tell you something I’m very thankful for in dm too cuz it’s kinda private :) so yeah.... thank you so much for being you and being my friend :D
@quellfy yoooooo duuuudde I don’t think we’ve ever really interacted on here but I’ve talked to you on the server and well I can know from there that. You’re just such an amazing and kind person. And that every time we talk I have a great time :)) I don’t know a lot about you but I do know that you’re an amazing artist who has amazing art (yes even when it’s not sad “pointing at alluka in snow drawing” amazing) and that you’re such a kind and I nice human being who’s been just super nice and good to me :)) so thank you. For being my friend and for being such an amazing human being :D
@faceless-dude yooooo I don’t think we’ve properly talked before but like :))) I really think you’re an amazing person and just super talented. Your art is something I’ve never seen before and I really really think it’s unique and just amazing. Thank you for your wonderful wishes. And yeah dw. I plan on keeping that promise >:) Gen will get her booties kicked just like you asked XD
@kur-upira we probably only interacted a few times. But in those few times. I could tell what kind of person you are and how much of an amazing person you are :D. I can tell you that just from those few times. I was able to see how much of a beautiful, talented (yes holy shit. I cannot stress this enough. I love your artstyle and good god it’s so good everything from the actual drawings to the shading to the colouring. It’s amazing dude. I really mean that. It’s one of the most unique and most beautiful artstyles I’ve ever seen), friendly and just amazing human being you are :))) thank you for those few interaction (which probably took me whole days to respond to because of anxiety and bs XD sorry about that lmao) and yeah. I would absolutely love to get to know you better and to interact more with each other :D
@starrynarwhale, I know we like pretty much only interacted like twice with each other but from those few times. I knew that you were a wonderful person :) not just an amazing person. But a very talented one too :D (your art is amazing dude. It’s really great. Not only that but like. Can I just say that. Your frog gon fridays are godly dude. They’re always so fucking cool and wholesome 🥺🥺I love them so much. Amazing) you seem like a very kind and amazing person so yeah :)) I’d love to get to know you better :D
@catboyyouko yooooo. I know we probably have only interacted once but let me tell you dude. You’re a wonderful, amazing, nice, kind and extremely talented human being. (Dude you don’t understand. Your art is fucking amazing. Not only that but your comics are so goddamn great too. Not just in an art way but in a story way too. It’s just always so amazing) oh and also like... I see that you vent a lot and stuff and just wanted to let you know that if you ever needed someone to talk to or vent to. I’m here for you. I feel like you’re such an amazing person and I would love to get to know you better :) so yeah. If you ever need anyone to talk to. I’m here alright :)
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE. I LOVE YOU ALL SO FUCKING MUCH
And if I didn’t @ you I promise It’s just cuz I’m too scared to bother you and @ Ing this many ppl has already made my anxiety skyrocket.
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