#honda new u-go

[businessskibat]

वाई-फाई कनेक्टिविटी और 200KM रेंज के साथ लॉन्च हुई Honda U-GO इलेक्ट्रिक स्कूटर

इलेक्ट्रिक स्कूटर की बढ़ती डिमांड को देखते हुए Honda Motors ने अपनी नई Honda U-GO इलेक्ट्रिक स्कूटर को पेश किया है। यह स्कूटर एडवांस फीचर्स, दमदार परफॉर्मेंस और लंबी रेंज के साथ उन ग्राहकों के लिए एक परफेक्ट विकल्प है, जो बजट में एक प्रीमियम इलेक्ट्रिक स्कूटर खरीदना चाहते हैं। Honda U-GO के एडवांस फीचर्स Honda U-GO इलेक्ट्रिक स्कूटर में कई मॉडर्न और उपयोगी फीचर्स दिए गए हैं, जो इसे बाजार में…

[mmurderhousewrites]

Rich Baby Daddy pt. one (sukuna x reader)

Summary: You're invited to a party by a close friend and end up bumping into someone from your past.

Warnings: none.

The mornings used to be your favorite. Waking up next to your hunk of a man. The sun shining through your bedroom windows. Oh how you missed those lovely mornings.

Now however, your mornings consisted of you waking up at the crack of dawn due to your crying 4 year old. bathing and clothing not only yourself but your child as well, making breakfast, and somehow managing to get to work on time.

Now on your days off, if you were lucky, Yuji, your son, would sleep in. And if god was somehow on your side that day, your baby daddy might even come pick up his son for awhile, giving you some free time. But those days were rare considering Sukuna is a business man.

Sukuna is the CEO of jujutsu tech, a huge electronic corporation. you had met him through your close friend getou and hit it off. Eventually you two moved in with each other and not long after that he got you pregnant.

Times have changed though unfortunatley. Sukuna is a very hard working man, so hardworking that he put his job before his own family. About a year after yuji was born you decided to leave after getting into a big argument with sukuna, taking yuji with you.

At first you stayed with your parents for a while before finding yourself a cute apartment in the city, it was a two bedroom 1 and a half bathroom. That's where you and yuji have been ever since.

You and your baby dad have had a neutral relationship ever since, sukuna of course always trying to get you to go back but times have changed and you are a new woman.

As of now it was about 1:00pm. You worked as a journalist in the new station in the city, not to far from your apartment. sitting at your desk, going through old news feed, your phone dings.

Looking over you see youve gotten a message. It was from Getou.

Geto: hey, theres some kind of party later a friend of mine is hosting. Wanted to know if u were interested in being my plus 1 ;p

You giggle to yourself. What a flirt. You could always drop yuji off to your parents for the night, after all they loved your little pink haired baby. And on top of that you could use a night out.

Quickly typing back to geto you respond,

Me: Sounds interesting.. Whats the dresscode?

geto: formal. I figure you might get a good story out of one of these rich folks huh?

Me: hmmm i think im sold suguru.

geto: great! ill pick you up at 8.

"L/N! I'm not paying you to text on your phone! I need a story!" You hear your boss, Mark yell from his office behind you.

You roll your eyes before collecting your things, standing up you head over to marks office. "The Richardsons are hosting a party tonight, i'm gonna see what tea i can find. I know the juliani"s are hiding something." You say leaning against the door frame.

"yeah well the Juliani's have a mind of their own."

"im gonna leave to go get ready." you say turning around, heading to the exit.

"L/N!" Mark calls out to you making you stop and turn to face him. "be careful. I don't need another Journalist coming up missing." You nod your head before leaving the building and heading to the parking lot.

It was true, the last journalist who went to investage the Juliani family, they turned up missing. In fact it was your coworker Nobara Kugisaki. Police reports were made out by her family about a week ago and nothing has come up.

you shivered as you walked to your car, the cold making it so you can see your breathe. Once you reached your car, a small 2020 Honda civic, you opened your door and put your bags in.

"Y/n" you freeze, hearing that oh so sexy voice say your name for the first time in what? months?

Turning around you find yourself face to face with the man you once loved, oh who are you kidding still love. He was wearing a long black coat and black jeans, his pink hair ruffled as usual and his tattoos just added to his handsome features.

"ryo- what are you doing here?" You ask, crossing your arms.

He walks closer to you, making you take a step back, leaning against your cars back door.

"i just wanted to see you." He says quietly, swiping a piece of your hair out of your face and behind your ear. You can't help but blush.

Pushing his hand away, you roll your eyes. "What are you really here for" you werent an idiot. Sukuna is a powerful man and busy one at that, there was no way he got out of work just to come see you.. especially considering he barely seen your son. But you couldn't be mad after all he was sending you checks every few weeks with at least 3,000$ on them.. so he was still providing for you and yuji in a way.

He chuckles, "I heard youre going to that party later with Getou.."

Was he serious right now? "What about it?" You question, eyebrow perking up.

"Don't go." He says darkly.

"Are you kidding me? What are you jealous? I'm a grown woman i deserve a night out once in a while!" You say before turning away and hoping in your car.

Sukuna leans against your window, so you roll it down. "Look kitten, if i were you i'd actually listen to your baby dad for once. It's not gonna be pretty" he smiles before backing away from your car.

You take this opportunity to pull out of the parking lot, making your way to yuji's daycare.

When you arrive at the daycare. You are first greeted by gojo, one of the daycare teachers and also getou's best friend.

"Well hello there Y/N! Here for yuuji?" Gojo asks, leaning towards you. "Its nap time right now so the children are asleep."

"Well unfortunately i'm going to have ti disturb his sleep because we have a pretty busy schedule for tonight" you laugh. "How have you been?" You havent really had a conversation with gojo in a while, you and him werent close, maybe because of how much of an extrovert he is.

"Im alriiight! I got a new apartment on 37th its a real beautyy." He drags on.

"Nice! Thats good to here" gojo pulls out his walky talky and yells loudly, "yuji has an early dismissal!!"

Next thing you know, theres a bunch of crying children in the next room over. What an idiot. You mentally facepalm.

Shoko, another daycare teacher comes out with yuji in her arms. He looks over to you and smiles.

After you get yuji and yourself situated in the car, you guys make your way over to your parents house. You had called them on your way to get yuji and of course they were more then thrilled to take yuji for the night.

Your parents lived anout 25 minutes away from the city so the drive wasnt too bad. Yuji was in his carseat playing on his ipad and minding his business.

"Mommy can i have 100$" your four year old says randomly. You cant help but laugh loudly.

"What do you need $100 for butt?" You ask, looking back at your som through the rear view mirror.

"I want a trampoline" he says, looking at you.

"You already have a trampoline at Nana's house and youre going there right now."

"But thats at nana's i want my own! My friend megumi has one at his house" he says, rolling his eyes.

"Yeah yeah."

After dropping your sin off to your parents, and making your way make home, you look through your closet trying to find a decent formal dress. You did have quit a few dresses considering you and sukuna would attend parties and other get togethers for business reasons.

Coming across a long black velvet dress you stop your search. This dress is skin tight and strapless, but has small diamonds adorned around the dress, making it sparkle just right.

Once you got dressed and finished your makeup, you put your hair up into a slick back ponytail, and added a little star charm clip to go with it. You looked absolutely gorgeous. Though your choice in heels would definitely make your feet sore after a night of dancing, looking good is what truly mattered. After all you were really only going to collect some dirt on any of the business men doing work with the Juliani's.

Tonight sure was going to be interesting.

[maneskinwh0re]

texts with [butch] wolverine / laura -- wlw 18+

fem!reader x butch!wolverine

(gays what are we naming her.) i know she is laura kinney (x-23) in the comics so imma stick with that for now ?? just changing her up a bit for the sake of my own au :3 sfw & !! nsfw !! (only suggestive)

y/n: wolvie wya i miss youuu laura: wolvie huh? y/n: mhm it's my new nickname for u :3 laura: alright beautiful, i'm on my way

y/n: guess what i just got?!! laura: on my nerves?!!

y/n: can you do the dishes before you leave. ever. laura: can you close the bathroom or kitchen cabinets. ever. y/n: touché.

y/n: what's liar backwards laura: rail? y/n: me? laura: well come here y/n: bazinga 😸

y/n: i'm bored laura: it's 1:04 in the morning y/n: exactly why aren't you back yet… laura: i'm sorry beautiful, charles wants us to get used to being up at this time for emergency missions. training this late as a sweaty mess with no booze may just cause a mutant to lose an eye here. y/n: i'm sorry baby :( laura: it's alright hon. also what the hell are you doing awake? y/n: thinking about that sweaty mess ;) laura: yeah? fuck this. i'll be back in 15. y/n: scissor me timbers! laura: that's the plan sweetheart y/n: BSHDFJSLADKFH

in my head she and i are renting an apartment and own two cats.

short post rn but send requests babes bc i wanna write more content of her i just don't know what to write about (edit: maybe a honda odyssey scene is out so go read...)

[xo-xojj]

Test drive/Adore

(not my gif)

Oliver Otto x Male Reader

Desc: Oliver gets a new car and the reader decided Oliver should take it for a test drive. Well what happens on the test drive? (Based on Test drive/Adore- Ariana Grande) MDNI

Type: Smut, Fluff

Warnings: Smut, Top!Oliver, bttm!reader, p in a, creampie, (breeding kink if u squint), stomach bulge, overstimulation, (public exhibition if u squint) unprotected(be safe)

Enjoyyyy

Your boyfriend, Oliver, had just gotten a new car since the one his parents gave him ended up breaking down. With a lot of convincing from Cooper, you, and Oliver they finally gave in. So your boyfriend finally had his car and was super excited.

“Even though a Honda Civic wasn’t ideal, it’s still pretty nice.” Oliver said smiling. You giggled. “Well let’s give it a test drive” you say. He nods opening your door. You slid into the cars passenger seat and he went and go into the drivers seat. He looked in the rear view mirror before starting the car. He backed up a little out of the parking space before driving from his family’s house. Into the drive you noticed he wasn’t really talking.

You took this as an opportunity to get him started. You touch his thigh gently and caress it whispering in his ear, “What’s been on your mind.” You say seductively. You can spot a not so obvious tent in his pants. You can only see it because you’re close enough to.

He gulped trying to keep his eyes on the road. He didn’t even respond. So you decided to snake your hand right above his crotch. You rubbed him through his pants making the tent in his pants grow. He let out a moan as you rubbed him and kissed his neck. He tried focusing on the road put the pleasure was getting to him. He quickly pulled into an empty parking o behind a shut down mall.

He put the car park. He then kissed you with passion ass he grabbed you hips guiding you from the passenger seat onto his lap. He kissed you keeping a hand on your ass and hip. You slowly grind on him and he let out an audible whimper. He kissed your neck making you moan. You laid a hand on his chest as he attacked your neck

“fuck you gonna make me-“ Oliver moaned trying to let you know he was gonna cum. But he couldn’t even warn you before he came. He moaned very loud holding your hips down on him. You couldn’t even move if you wanted to. He laid his lips on yours moaning into your mouth as you gripped and massaged his brown hair.

He was a virgin, to your knowledge and so were you. So you ended up taking a lot of this head on with no guide besides maybe a couple porn videos. But Oliver somewhat knew what to do thanks to his mother, Kate who had a very uncomfortable conversation with Oliver about sex between you and him.

You slowly unbuttoned his shirt revealing a muscular chest. He pulled your shirt over your head and soon your guys clothes were discarded. The radio silently clicked on starting to play music which even amped up the atmosphere. He kissed you softly as you massaged his hair. He Positioned his tip at the entrance of your anus. “Tell me what you need me to do” he whispered “I need you in me” you said.

He quickly fulfilled your request spitting in his hand and jerking himself off a little before sliding into you. “Ngh, fuck” You whimper as he slid into you inch by inch. He let out strings of curses as you clenched around him. He slid you the rest of the way down on his cock and you hid your head into his neck letting out cries and tears and te mix of pain and pleasure.

“Fuck, you’re so tight” Oliver said as you were completely on his cock. “Let me know when you’re ready” Oliver said rubbing your back. You nodded and he held your hips and you moved up and down on cock. Got stomach started to bulge as Oliver looked down seeing his cock print. He got more turned on by the sight.

He bounced you up and down on his cock a little faster than you were going and you became a mess. “You take my cock so well, I’m gonna fill you up so good baby” he said as he fucked you into stupidity. All you could do was mumble, whimper, and moan. He kissed you softly moaning into your mouth as he jerked you off.

The mix of him slamming into your prostate and him jerking you off made you go feral. You scratched his back and he arched as you did. He fucked you deep into the steering wheel making the car beep. “Look at you, you take my cock so well baby. Want me to cum in you? Fill you up so deep with your seed hm?” He asked fucking you onto him and fucking into you.

You whimpered as you came over his chest. But that didn’t make him stop. It gave him more ammunition and drive to continue. You squirm on his cock as tears fall from you face. “Don’t cry baby, you’re doing good for me, just give me one more okay, can you do that for me?” Oliver add you wiping your tears and cupping your checks asking you sincerely.

You nodded and he smiled. He sped up nearly rearranging your insides as he jerked you a little faster. You clenched hard as hell and squirmed. “T-too , much” you mumbled not even able form a proper sentence. “I know, just one more baby” Oliver said getting close himself. You kiss him softly as you near your climax. You bite down on his shoulder as you release on him and yourself for the second time and you whimpered in such a euphoric state. “Good boy….” Oliver said getting close. You weren’t even mentally there any more. He attacked your neck as he started to cum.

“Mmm fuck, gonna put my kids in you just like that” Oliver moaned as he came deep inside you. Both of your eyes rolled to the back of your heads. He whimpered softly as you rode him through his climax. You laid your head on his chest as he held you in his arms. You were going in and out still affected by the pain and the pleasure of your first time. Oliver on the other hand was smiling as he held you in his arms still inside you.

“Don’t pull out-“ you murmured. “I won’t baby” Oliver said holding you. “I love you baby” Oliver said. He made you look him in the eye as he said it. “I love you too” you said. He kissed you passionately then you laid back in his arms and put your head back in his neck. The rest of that hour was right there. Hopefully nobody saw…

[karda]

karda i am not at all aware of mcu stuff but what is going on with those two old men. i would like to understand this new old man yaoi.

they had hot hate sex in a honda odyssey thats all u need to know

[qvrcll]

omg i just read mornings and i'm so happy ur requests are open cause i am in need for more of female shy reader x confident and whipped ellie please 🤭 so may i request their "first time" smut (+fluff) where ellie takes the reader's virginity 👉👈 make it soft & steamy please 🫶

on this thing called fire / avalon

summary: in which ellie and you take it a step forward in your relationship; maybe that involves being knuckle full of her and crooning with her mouth in places you’d dream of, but who’s counting?

warnings: major nsfw under the cut !! spit mentioned / use of nickname ‘bun’, u know the regular shmegular stuff

a/n: first of all i am so sorry for not responding to this ask! second, thank u so much for enjoying my works! i had been experiencing massive writer’s block when it had been sent and i wanted to give u my best so here we go :-) enjoy! (just a side note, my req’s are still closed for the time being)

The first time with Ellie would be purely coincidental, a haywire of nerves and spongy movements, soft-rimmed with awkward touches, hushed breaths and thoughts of hesitance.

The two of you know your boundaries before you speak of it — she would never force you to do anything and neither would you do anything of that sort of nature with her. Besides, when merged as a pair, you’re two paires of antsy nerves, stringing against each other like grass and rippling with raw shyness, hues of ‘I hope this is okay’. Still, it was enough, Ellie thinks, this was more than okay.

So, come to the day you’re both heavily slotted against one another, limbs tangled so ardently at the skin, it’s hard to anticipate anything headier. Her smell chokes you, makes you formulate a rational reason for the spike in your chest — maybe I’ve just never been this close to someone before.

But your brain is quick to fortify your hopes against you.

You’ve been in tight spots like these more than once — that one instance where you and Dina had monstrously jabbed the two of you in a swing-set half the size of you, meat of her thigh crushing your nerves as the two of you squealed. Or the time where Jesse had whispered apologies, crisp and awfully kind, when he’d nearly bruised you against the car window in an attempt to fit in the tight space (your knees throbbed when you’d exited the vehicle and his hands were spattered with his grapple with the Honda Civic.)

But neither of those times, did you feel a heat as constricting as this, hands muggy and wrestling for a feeling, a sentiment beyond the vest Ellie wore. It was different, incredibly so. This was Ellie, your girlfriend of months. Brutal and stuff of dreams to the touch.

But it all had led back to that pathetic little attempt to clench your thighs, simmer your whimpers to a lesser degree when she groggily swiped a barely restive hand against your back. In a particularly ‘Ellie’ fashion, full of physical affirmation, you were sure, but the heat that painted your back in ordeal left you weak, fighting to weld your nerves back into your body.

But it was never that easy, and Ellie was always two steps ahead.

“What’s wrong…?” she rasps, trickles with hesitation, like she’d done something wrong. The thought makes you awfully prickly, skittering with sweat and jitters, because god, if this was her doing something wrong, you’d like to see her worst.

Still, you shift your position, the heat in your belly never once reclining, shifting like a on-set febrility against you. A dead-set course. A fit of hormones. Endorphins. Fuck whatever fit the label, you were still squirming.

“N-Nothing, go back to sleep…” you spit out, crackle in embarrassment, as she pauses her kindly ministrations against your back. Now she’s awfully concerned, twisted in her idolatry because she’s so sure she’s messed up somewhere. It makes her jaw bleed with sweat, her brows crease with new born worry — she twitches her mouth, opens it, closes, and then lifts her head.

“Seriously, what’s wrong?” her voice is louder, stronger, but not accusatory. It’s sparkly, in a pondering sort of way, but you don’t appreciate the rasp in her tone. It makes you filthy, coated in your want for her, sticky where you swear you shouldn’t be. But you refuse to look at her, resorting to bury your face so deep into her chest, you might as well carve a cavern in there and don it your new home, “Ellie—it’s nothing. It’s stupid.”

Your voice reassures her but your low tone worries her — her hand scratches that low spot below your neck and presses into the skin like relief. Like comfort. But the heat of it is only playing tricks on you and you curse yourself as you tighten your thighs, shaking softly as you feel hot all over.

Fuck.

“So something is bothering you?” she speaks, and her voice, vivacious and real, courses through you. She doesn’t even fathom the effect she has on you, not to this extent, because she’s figuring it’s something cruel. Something unfixable. And perhaps it is cruel, to you, but unfixable? Absolutely not. She continues, pressing her lips against your warm forehead, “let it up, bun. I won’t be upset. You know I won’t, mhm?”

And you feel yourself tremble, crack in her hold. You’d nearly fooled herself and you in the process. But this was getting you nowhere. Her touch catalysed something you resisted and it was overpowering your senses, sending you reeling for the floor and you had to tell her, had to tell her, tell her now, or else it would break you.

“I just—“ your voice picks up, humiliated, “I think I want you.”

A moment passes. You feel like there might’ve been better options. And worse. It makes you wonder if she knows exactly what you’re running from, this swelter plaguing you from the innards.

“I think you will always have me, bun—“ she chuckles, and it makes you spasm with denial. She’s not getting it.

“No—“

“No?” her brow lifts, as she presses against your body. Makes you shake. Makes you tighten with a looming threat.

“Not like—not like that…” you blush, grow silent. It intrigues her, suctions her to you as she brushes a calloused finger against your cheek, swelling the flesh with yet another string of warmth. It spurts you need, again, a terrible ache to your words, “I need you to…”

Her smile is small, calibrated, sick to the thought of not doing what’s right. Slippery and antsy for not being what you want — “What do you need me to do, bun?”

“I—need you to touch… me?” your voice curls at the end, a question, pathetic and dangerously simple, it shouldn’t confuse her.

Yet her eyes falter, fill with a sort of darkness that you hadn’t anticipated. Her lips go tight with a twitch, her hands now coiling impossibly closer around you, with her fingers padding against your waist. Your skin. You.

This whole time, you needed her to touch you? It had been as simple as that? Impossible.

“Touch you how, bun?” she asks and you nearly fumble, devastated that you’d need to spell it out with brick, chalky letters for her. But with the way her eyes curl with a deliberate evil, her tongue licking over lips like she was preparing for something, something big, you knew she was playing with you like meat.

“Ellie—“ you groan, creen against her. She laughs, amused, but doesn’t let up her antics. Instead, she locks you close, her fingers now sinking into the material of your panties. They’re airy, looking against the waistband like a routine, and you’re sick with the wait, “do I really need to say it?”

“You know you do” she smirks softly, pressing her cheek against yours in a sick attempt to taunt you. It works, though. Makes you sense. Feel. Share the heat of her skin as she makes it known just how much harder she was making this for you. And you sink, gut heaving for release.

“Please, El’s,” you murmur. Try the look of innocence. Play the smaller part. She’s not fazed, just merely mocks the look, encouraging a longer string of words, “I need you to touch me here…”

And the words die on your tongue, quickly, as you grasp her other hand, leading the farther weight of her large palm against the front of your shorts. You don’t miss the harsh bob of her throat, the way she sighs with amusement. With relief.

“Need a bit more clarification than that, bun,” she teases, splaying her palm against the front of your shorts and pressing against the fabric in senseless circles. It makes you whine, dig into her softly, breathless like a greedy thing. It only makes her chuckle, land a soft, wet kiss against the expanse of your neck where it allows her.

“I need—“ you pause, swallow air for some slant, “need your fingers in me. Against me. Please, Ellie, please—“ you choke, tears now threatening to poke against your lashes as you attach against her. But the strength of your pleadings makes her nervous, makes her feel better about it all.

“I think I get the idea,” her words come out rough, tangled like she’d wrestled with the idea of them, as her fingers brush past your panties and against your throbbing clit. It makes you creen with new noises — no one has ever taken you this far before.

She presses a small kiss to your cheek, lowers you onto the bed as she rests on her elbows to capture a better picture of the onslaught of your rapture — “you ever touched yourself, bun?” she rasps, as her fingers flicker up and down your slit to gather rhythm. When you shake your head no, she doesn’t lighten her pressure against your clit, but she does suck in a breath of air.

Knowing that you’d never done anything of this extent with each other was one piece of knowledge. Now, knowing you’d never been touched in this way, ever, not even with the weight of your own fingers, made her sticky in her boxers. Made her amble for her breath.

It made her want to please you all the more.

“I’ll take care of you, don’t worry,” her fingers ghost against your hole, and you tighten out of unlearnt routine, “want me to take care of you, bun?”

God, she’d be the death of you.

“Yes—want you to touch me, El’s…” you whine, grip her hand to gather a sense of your bearings. You’d only ever read words on a page of this sort of thing, pictures when you got too curious. Sentences that talked of parts, sensations, sticky feelings and the ‘right person.’ You’re sure half your knowledge on the matter would be fusty with nothing but sloppiness, half-hearted attempts to reach a high you’d only ever dreamt of.

But now, Ellie was crushing you with the kindness of her fingers. Delivering you that high you’d read in magazine books picked with prickly fingers, left behind when you felt all too awful about it.

Ellie smiles, brings that familiar puddle of warmth to your belly. Her fingers prod at your hole, “I’ll add a finger okay? Promise it’ll feel good,” and the sentence ends with the chime of your whine, groan, choke, all blended in one as her willowy, slender finger messily finds an opening within you.

Ellie pauses, breathing just as fast. It makes you heady, that look on her face — fucked out when she hadn’t even been touched. Red when it’s you she’s ruining to pieces. It makes you warm again, hopeless with moans as her finger begins to pump into you with moderate speed.

“Feel good?” she asks and you silently nod. But she’s breathless, her other hand coming to touch you, feel. Grab a taste of your warmth, and you’re pleasantly welcomed with your cheeks hollowed as she grabs them gently yet firmly — “kiss me?”

The question is stupid, window-worthy. It makes you scoff, makes her smile in return. The inquiry, burnt in ashes already, as you invite her mouth with a whine. You barely notice the addition of fingers within you as her tongue explores you like no one else, lathers you with her own saliva, behind your teeth and elsewhere.

It gets you hot again, impossibly so.

When she pulls back, she reverts to kissing your neck, punching the skin with her lips, as her fingers slot in and out of you. It had gotten to the point where you aimlessly discarded of your shorts, somewhere in the deep recesses beneath your bed.

Now, though, the sounds of her filling you gather as one, melding with the sounds of your cries as she adds yet another finger. Forms a cupping-form against your weeping cunt, as she aims to drill another hole into you. Her fingers are enough to make you sputter, creen, with saliva drooling out the side of your mouth as she works you up in her hold.

“Easy, bun, you close?” she asks. No, perhaps warns, and by the time you’re nodding fervently, she’s already letting out an airy chuckle. But it’s nothing of the malicious sort, just compact with knowing. Several layers of need. Of ‘finally.’

By the time you climax nears, her speed triples, the sopping liquids making it an easy endeavour for the abuse on your swollen cunt. You cry, somewhere in the bucket of noises, clutch onto her like you’re too unsure. You feel an unfamiliar feeling threaten to burst, and you’re half sure it’s a release similar to what you’ve read, and half convinced it’s you wetting yourself.

“El’s—“ you cry, but it’s jammed. It catches her attention, though, “Ellie—I think I’m gonna—“

“You gonna cum?” she asks, for absurdity. For nothing at all, because you’re frothing at both ends. It processes too late, too far, as you agree, pathetic cries too loud for any words but your body allows you a nod as you confirm the threat of release, “then do it, bun.”

And as quickly as you let the words out, the quicker you cry with the fullness of your orgasm, wet, clenching and full of sensations so foreign but diverting, you nearly lose your consciousness. But Ellie trains her eyes on you, as her fingers exit your sopping entrance and rub delicate, cautionary circles against your clit, a sign to come to.

“You good there?” she smiles, teases, tears with a chuckle as you gasp. You’re quick to lightly punch her in the sides, heaving with pleasure still, “you nearly killed me.”

“Killed you with my fingers?”

“Yeah, those fucking, beautiful fingers.”

She shifts, knees caging your thighs suddenly, as her weight hovers over you. In this light, she’s a verdant eyed jewel, gazing at you with tepidity and warmness unmatched, her fingers grazing you like a telltale sign that she’s not done letting you up.

“Ellie?” your voice is nimble, caught in your throat as she descends to your cunt, and before you can let a word of protest even hit her ears, she’s licking a long, aimless stripe against your cunt, and it makes you break.

“Ellie—” you cry, overstimulated and scratching against the sheets as she doesn’t relent her assault against your beckoning centre, heated and oozing yet again that it worries you. But she doesn’t care, merely hitches an arm around your thigh and drives you forward, jerks you with a sting so profound it makes you melt and begins eating you out like her life depended on the course of your pleasure.

Because it really did.

“Ellie—fuck—Ellie!”

She doesn’t listen, just continues, lapping at you and having at you like dessert. Cream. Pudding and pie. The fervor heightens as she prods her tongue where her fingers had busied themselves around, the tight muscle heady in its endeavour to have you crying against her. The zing of your juices has her puddling on her boxers, but it’s more of a priority that she has you seeing white — your second release is quicker, harder, more thrashing and clenching and a mess of hands and feet as you cage her head with your thighs. She sighs, glad for the grapple against her, as she pats against you.

She smiles when you fall limp against the sheets, swallowing air like you’d gone days without it — “did that feel good?”

“Ellie…” you start, warn with a disconcerting frown so faux it makes the both of you giggle, before knocking her useless as you kiss her again. Her kisses are fervent, meaningful, punched with colour and vigour as you pull apart — she chases your lips with a crunch of her eyebrows, a delicate sigh.

And suddenly, her face twists as your hands fall into underneath her boxers, surprised and deliciously wet under those layers.

Of course, you want to string her out — you’re barely recovering from her performance. But some part of you knows she gets excited from the innocent act. And you wouldn’t particularly be ‘lying’ when you acted deft in your attempts to pleasure her. So you do.

“El’s, can you teach me how to touch you?” you murmur, lips rolling into themselves as you fake a look of innocence, all compressed into a look of hopelessly scrunched brows and a small pout. It has Ellie sighing, chuckling quietly as she twitches, throws her head back.

“O-Ofcourse—I’ll—agh—“ your finger ghosts her clit, beating, surely, with want. It makes you pry more, makes you apply pressure against that spot a little more, have her hold your arms as she hisses through her teeth.

“I’ll teach you, bun” she barely breathes out, surging forward for another kiss.

This was going to be a long day.

© 2023 qvrcll ! do not repost any of my works on any platform.

[allphatauri]

ok so im new to f1 in general but i really wanna get into super formula too (as a tiny little yuki enthusiast) and i have no clue how, esp from the outside of jp... so uhhh if you can help? 🙏 (love ur blog so much btw 🫶)

HI ANON. SHAKES YOU GENTLY. in my heart i am wearing a t shirt that says 'ask me about super formula' all the time so YES YES absolutely!! shaking with joy !! and thank you so much for your kind words!! sending u much love !! info under the cut

first of all I've made a primer (google slides) and it's posted here! it is, though, QUITE poorly made and researched instead of properly put together through experience. We are in the off season right now, and super formula silly season happens entirely during the off season, so a bunch of the honda engine teams' are unconfirmed. When that does get confirmed, I'll fix up and post an updated version! until then i'll try to post some off season info over at my sf/sgt sideblog @tadasukemakino !! i'm still working on being more consistent over there but my hopes going into the new year is that i'll get better w queueing and such so i actually do post over there LOL second of all here's the 2025 calendar:

okay! and third of all i'm sure you want to know where you can catch the races. :) you can catch them with a motorsport.tv subscription over in the states but i'm not sure about elsewhere . BUT.. i may or may not mainly watch them streamed at the discord server ever cough cough cough (tumblr post with link) cough cough couhgh (if the one in that post doesn't work come dm me we nuked a few links sorry LOL cough cough cough)

I try to translate a lot of the radios and post-race interviews that occur on the spot as well. english commentary though and usually one of the commentators does translate but i do it anyways / sometimes he's absent LOL

genuinely i'm so so happy you've expressed interest!! it means the world to me. i've found that super formula is far more than the 'feeder series with cars really similar to f1' than a lot of english media simmers it down to be. it's got insane races (funny incidents, real wheel to wheel driving with artful overtakes and stressful battles), a genuine Shakespearean level rivalry between the Toyota and Honda teams, some REAL hard-hitting narratives, actual title fights, lovely drivers (genuinely my first motorsport series where i can't find a reason to dislike any driver??), a really special atmosphere where all the drivers and teams genuinely respect each other.. etc etc. and also very yaoiful drivers if that's also a selling point for you LMAO

please please PLEASE ask me anything if there's anything else i can help with super formula related, anon or anyone else!! thank you again so much for asking!!!

[hazbinhotelexpansion]

Oh I was BORN to answer your request, prepare for all of my random discord quotes

Are you climbing the inside of the elevator??? ..........maybe

"I want them Zoloft boys"

"ok I think the phone has been in the microwave long enough"

She could run a kingdom, people would listen to her, she's very loud!

I'll sop your wet! ... I'll wet your sop? No, neither of those sound right, joke canceled, goodbye

You know me I love dead people

You want me to go straight to bed? Why not gay to bed???

"this tastes like battery acid, but if battery acid was tasty"

Gusty showers sounds like a terrible name for a retirement community

What happens if you have nipple pasties that just look like nipples? "Then you need nipple pasties for your nipple pasties" Nipple-pasty-ception "Get a bra that looks like boobs and put nipple pasties on that"

Yeah I'm like canonically allergic to chihuahuas in specific

"Jesus told a tree to off itself and then he threw a table"

"am I a Honda or a person?"

"NOW GIVE ME YOUR FACE AND DONT ASK QUESTIONS"

Gasp! Someone cheesed him!

WHY WOULD YOU MAKE MY LITTLE BOY INTO LEMONADE

"using my telekinesis to lift my daughter out of her crib just in time for her father to see her levitating randomly"

"why are we talking about bacon now I thought we were talking about your daddy issues"

I do not have a gender, I have a question

oh pants stopped happening like 30 minutes ago

just calling me Charizard is unhelpful team

I AM THE PICASSO OF MEMES

Ope there goes angel climbing into the China closet again

EVIL JELLO MY NEW GENDER

"I have a *weird* problem, are you ready to hear about my *weird* problem" "always" "my brownies are too oily"

"Before I can own a pigeon, I need to get my bird permit" Your..... Birdmit

It doesn't have to be a bunch of sad white women drinking wine sitting in a rented conference room with a bunch of tables all done up in tablecloths with droopy streamers and half floating balloons

he can be a soft boi *and* a crackhead!!!

"they're Jean shoes" YOU GOT THE FUCKIN JHOES???

Please refrain from happy biting the cannibal

WOOHOO KEVIN GOT BOOPS

Two pigeons, chilling on the sidewalk, five feet apart cause they're not gay

"you're watching a weiner schnitzel be made? Isn't that a dog?"

"she wouldn't hit a cows arse with a banjo"

About husk: probably grumpy enough to overpower catnip by the sheer force of cynicism

About niffty being drunk: she's a spastic caffeinated squirrel in traffic that's just taken a nice long inhale of, uh, snow

no actually I think you're right! I like my impulsive, self destructive behaviors

don't turn yourself into one of those cooked children in the backseat you're always hearing about, Pls don't cook yourself over your trauma

YEAH WE HAVE CHILD LABOR ON THIS BUS!

Mickey mouse voice: you can't spell drunk driving without U and I!

He has the mcdonald's headset of infinite wisdom

*angrily* IM GONNA TURN YOU INTO TREE FOOD

Sudden vox in my head: and now introducing, this.... Fuckin thing..... *gestures to cursed cat alastor on a small runway behind him*

HOPE THESE HELP YOU GUYS IM LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING THE NEW CONTENT!

Friend, I am

CRYING

[tun3rs]

「  ₊  ☆  ﾟ  park  sooyoung,  she/her,  cis  woman  」  INCOMING  TEXT:   omg  hv  u  met  JUNIPER  “JUNO”  CHOI  of  the  NARIZA  BOIS  yet  ?  they’re  one  of  the  crew’s  street  racers  n  actually  go  by  VIPER.  the  twenty7  y/o  is  typically  seen  hanging  arnd  track-one.  allegedly  they’re  frm  new  york  city  ,  ny  n  hv  been  w/  the  crew  for  TWO  YEARS.  wtvr.  just  watch  out  for  them,  k  ?  ttyl  !  

[  ✰  ]  PINTEREST.

[  ✰  ]  WANTED  &  ESTABLISHED  CONNECTIONS  (  WIP  ).

penned  by  HECATE  (  she/her  ,  21+  ,  pst  )

001.     ↻     BASICS  .

[  ✰  ]  full  name:  juniper  cordelia  choi

[  ✰  ]  alias  /  nickname(s):  juno  (  to  everyone  ),  viper

[  ✰  ]  age:  27

[  ✰  ]  date  of  birth:  08/28

[  ✰  ]  place  of  birth:  new  york  city,  ny,  usa

[  ✰  ]  ethnicity:  korean

[  ✰  ]  nationality:  american

[  ✰  ]  gender:  cis  woman

[  ✰  ]  pronouns:  she/her

[  ✰  ]  orientation:  bisexual  /  biromantic

[  ✰  ]  language(s)  spoken:  english,  korean,  french,  spanish,  latin,  greek

[  ✰  ]  mbti:  ENTP

[  ✰  ]  element:  air

[  ✰  ]  zodiac:  virgo

[  ✰  ]  character  inspiration:  suki  (  2  fast  2  furious  ),  blair  waldorf  (  gossip  girl  ),  lydia  martin  (  teen  wolf  ),  gojo  satoru  (  jujutsu  kaisen  ),  kate  bishop  (  marvel  comics  )

002.     ↻     BACKGROUND  .

NOTE:  this  is  a  quick  summary  /  tldr  of  juno's  background  .  for  a  more  detailed  bio  ,  please  CLICK  HERE  !

juniper  “juno”  choi  grew  up  in  the  upper  echelons  of  society  in  manhattan’s  upper  east  side  .  she’s  born  into  an  influential  family  of  automotive  titans  and  shipping  tycoons  .  despite  the  impossibly  high  expectations  set  forth  ,  she  always  found  solace  in  the  summers  spent  in  miami  with  her  uncle  .  it’s  there  that  she  developed  a  passion  for  cars  and  motorsports  .  and  even  with  her  mother’s  disdain  for  her  developing  interests  ,  juno  defies  them  and  rebuilds  her  first  project  car  ,  a  beat-up  honda  s2000  by  the  age  of  16  .  she  plunges  headfirst  into  the  world  of  street  racing  and  over  the  years  has  cemented  herself  among  the  racing  scene  ,  quickly  gaining  respect  for  her  abilities  .  however  ,  that’s  not  without  some  hard-learned  lessons  from  accidents  that  really  reined  in  her  ego  .  and  at  24  ,  juno  makes  the  move  to  miami  for  a  fresh  start  .  it’s  there  she  quickly  establishes  herself  as  a  standout  drifter  and  ends  up  joining  the  nariza  bois  .  now  27  ,  she’s  become  known  for  her  innovative  style  and  razor-sharp  precision  on  the  track  .

003.     ↻     HEADCANONS  .

NOTE:  this  is  a  work  in  progress  so  more  will  be  added  at  a  later  time  !

it's  kind  of  a  lot  so  please  visit  THIS  PAGE  to  view  a  list  of  headcanons  !

[coweye]

heyy do u have a masterlist? i just read your recent logan one shot and i loved it so much, i’d love to read more of your stuff !

Hello love,

I don't I'm afraid, as that's my only Logan story atm 💖

I have two works in progress as Logan has devoured my life all over again.

Logan x Reader - the follow up to Honda Odyssey, how I see those crazy kids making a go of it outside the void.

Logan x past!Reader - A reader who was with the past logan, a mom to Laura but finds the new Wolverine. edit: it’s just been posted

Thankyou for reading anon! 💕

[identifying-cars-in-posts]

hi! just wanna say real quick that i LOVE your blog, im also a car autistic and its so awesome to finally find a car-centric community that i dont feel out of place in :-)

anyways! im looking to get a new car- i own a 1985 mercedes 380sl named rodney, but shes got a few issues and i dont feel super comfortable using her as a daily driver for an hour commute to/from work right now- and i was wondering if you knew anything or had any opinions about late '90s buick lesabres? i was also looking at honda civics or accords bc i used to drive an accord, but my dad has been hard recommending i get a '98 lesabre :o thanks so much if u get to this, hope ur inbox isnt too full!!

i’m in the same boat with my jeep, love her to death but she’s not particularly safe for anything outside of local driving. those lesabres are mad underrated, those things go forever. a lot of the ones out there are in fantastic shape because they were old people church shuttles more than anything, and there were a ton of them so parts were plentiful, meaning when they do have issues they’re cheap to fix (mostly). if you find a low mileage one it seems like they’re solid! i know at least the roadmaster from that era was pretty tough, and i see those lesabres all the time still, so buick was doing at least something right

[beom-pyu]

omg dai! happy 1k! this game sounds so cute so i wanted to join 😭💝

- cancer sun, virgo moon (and i have no idea what my rising is rip)

- infp

- i enjoy reading (ofc), indie films, and discovering new music!!!

- honestly all of your works are great, but im going to have to go with like the moon!! it was so beautiful written i shed a few tears 💔💔💔

congrats once again!

hi and thank u sm!! <3 i have the purrfect date for u

BEOMGYU + STARGAZING! ⭐️

since your moons are compatible, i think stargazing could be a good time to just exist with eachother and your emotions <3 you guys take turns being the dj, music flowing quietly out of the bluetooth speaker buried in the grass. beomgyu lets you rest your head on his chest while you guys point at the stars, naming fake constellations amongst the black sea.

"that one should be called spiderman cause it looks like a web. wait... it kind of looks like a dog from this angle. or is that a honda civic?"

he kisses the top of your head every now and then, listening to the stories you tell him silently. it's nice to just lay with beomgyu, his heartbeat filling your ears as you draw random patterns on his chest.

the night is filled with gentle laughs, shy touches, and whispered secrets; in this moment, only the two of you exist in this big ole world.

nothing else matters when beomgyu caresses your cheek and smiles down at you---a smile that's filled with so much unadulterated adoration, it makes your heart clench.

"do you think in an alternate universe, we're laying right here listening to music and watching the stars?" you say, watching a plane move silently against the sky.

"nah. in an alternate universe, i'd be a rich hot millionaire."

...

"you suck."

and then he'd giggle and kiss your forehead because you both know he loves you more than anything in the entire universe <3

[kauntersteer]

LIFE UPDATE ?

Uni hopes, new stuff, new discoveries, oh my! Turns out we got a lot going on and started to take note of more things in our life. We've managed to get therapy with the help of friends and we're really looking forward to it. The past few months has been no short of a chaotic mess, and that shows through the DMs we sent our friends. (Please I'm sorry I promise I won't rant to you anymore 😭)

As for our physical state, we're just coming to terms that we have several things going on, such as being underweight, the possibility of an ED, the scoliosis flare ups getting considerably worse, hypermobility, yeah you get what I mean.

RIGHT. CHANGE OF COURSE! We just finished pre-U a few months ago, and we're looking to pursue Industrial Design. Since we like cars why not just design other things as well?

Speaking of cars :

The 2nd ever drift event we went to! Unfortunately this time there was a very long queue, so we didn't get into the drift cars themselves. Love the burning rubber though! There was an RPS13 that was so INCREDIBLY loud that you might've mistaken them for gunshots. Hung out with our lovely internet friends, and went to the city at night for the first time ever. In a Honda civic! That car was *so* spacious.

Anyways, I'm starting to forget things now. I don't usually post life related things, but hopefully with our own (unsafe) way of documentation we hope future us is going to look at this and see how far we've come! We just love sharing things and love to let people know what's going on in our life. It's not often that we get that chance irl, which is why I'm here in the first place

Much love! Thanks for reading 😆

[munchflix]

MUNCHFLIX - STREET FIGHTER (1994)

IMDB BLURB:  Col. Guile and various other martial arts heroes fight against the tyranny of Dictator M. Bison and his cohorts.

WARNINGS: Violence and just a whole lot of fucking weird shit

RATING: 20 Billion BisonDollars

OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER: All reviews are done solely for humor and should not be taken seriously ever. If you cannot handle cursing, crude humor and probably some offensive things, pls do not read this.

Munch: So we're here again with the muthafuckin' street fighter movie which is so fucking great. Everything about this is absolute garb but it's so much fun. Raul Julia is putting his entire pussy into this absurd performance. Jean Claude Van Damme is the most hilarious "American" I've ever seen. His accent is so thick it hurts.

Biscuits: My opening thoughts are 'I'm eepy', okay?? (Biscuits is sleep-deprived again)

Dib: This movie was shot in a whole ten weeks and allegedly Jean Claude Van Damme was blasted off his ass on coke during the filming of this movie.

M: Watching his performance, I'm not at ALL shocked by that. ANYWAY. We open on uh...a really intense opening credit scene with a news reel talking about how bad M. Bison played by Raul Julia ( may he rest in peace ) is. Chun Li is reporting? Because she's a reporter in this?

B: Allied Nations, is this world war three???

M: Sort of, M. Bison is kind of the dictator

D: There's our man! I guess we just have like a hostage pit in M. Bison's doom dome? I forgot how shit the acting was. Raul was also years into battling stomach cancer when this was filmed.

M: VanDamme shows up as Guile and threatens Bison on the air which goes pretty well, you can't even understand his fucking accent.

B: I keep feeling phantom ants, like a meth addict. What is happening??

D: A lot, it doesn't slow down.

M: I'm trying to summarize but this goes like 100 mph. We've been introduced to Chun Li and Charlie and Blanka who are the same person, shut up, and E. Honda and DJ and Cami played by Kylie Minolgue.

D: Charlie and Blanka are different people in the game.

B: I don't understand what's going on

D: M. Bison has taken hostages and he wants 20 billion dollars from the government.

B: WHAT government???

D: THE government. Basically he wants it from Guile (vandamme) And now we're gonna be introduced to Ryu and Ken at a random street fight in a barbed wire electrified cage

B: These are Ryu and Ken??

Y’know, Ryu and Ken from Street Fighter...

D: And Vega, who kinda looks like his character. And that's Sagat. Sagat and Ryu and Ken have historical beef but not in this movie.

M: This is so much to take in. I guess Sagat is trying to get Ryu and Ken to help him sell guns.

B: So this white guy and this asian guy meet Barack Obama in some weird asian nightclub and they throw tennis balls at them and now they're fighting.

D: This will be the only fight for like...an hour. Meanwhile in Shadaloo? We're back with M. Bison. In this movie, Dhalsim is not a yogi, he's just a scientist? They couldn't do the stretchy limbs thing but come on.

B: They are just firing characters at us!

D: Canonically Blanka is just a weird guy, not some super soldier they created in a lab??? And definitely not Charlie.

M: Back to Dhalsim and M.Bison who is torturing BlankaCharlie with nazi propaganda and stuff to make him BAD. Also Zangief is here staring confusedly in the background, which he does the entire movie and I love him so much.

You can tell he’s being brainwashed because he’s wearing one of those photo-viewer toys from the 90s.

B: FUCKING OTTER POP JUICE LABELLED MUTAGENS DO NOT TOUCH! Can we fucking slow down please??

D: No! this movie does not. Now we're starting with another street fight between Vega and Rye-u or Ryu, it changes constantly.

B: I've seen better acting in a porno.

D: Ken looks like he belongs in a porno. Everyone is shirtless and the audience is horny.

B: That is not a real sword.

M: They could not afford real weapons.

B: When you don't have the money to score your movie, you can just throw in royalty free classical pieces! It’s not lazy or distracting at all!

D: But the fight is interrupted by a tank with Guile in it, and also 800 phone calls from Munch's mother.

M: That's not a joke, she’s called six times in the past half hour. Anyway, it's Guile. He's here with some guys that will not be relevant at all to the rest of the movie except maybe Cami but even then....and there's a spy guy.

B: Is that what spies do?? they just jump up in the middle of meetings and attack?? That's some good cold war espionage right there. What? Ken and Ryu are in jail eating scrambled eggs. That wasn't even a grammatically correct sentence.

D: Back in jail, they're all fighting for some reason.

M: Why?

D: I don't know. Guile is watching from above and back in Charlie's tickle basement, BlankaCharlie is being tortured again and there was a scream when his mouth was closed. Dhalsim is not happy with their methods though so he's gonna make CharlieBlanka look at nice things? they're making CharlieBlanka really swole by showing him bad things? and injecting him with dna otter pop mutagen.

I had to put an image in here of this shit to show you just how much it looks like otter pop juice.

M: Makes perfect sense. Back at the movie! Refugee camp with uh...the allies?

D: Here's ken and ryu and van damme

M: I guess he JUST broke them from prison?

D: Ryu and Ken are not criminals.

M: Just lovers.

D: No Ken is married. Not to Ryu.

B: Yeah, I've never heard of a married gay man.

M: Guile's accent is murdering me, his one liners are just so bad. So so bad.

D: Ken and Ryu fake beef for some reason. Vega hasn't said a single word in this movie. Oh they were stealing the keys.

B: They just throw the keys up in front of everyone, just show em off.

D: And then Ken gives Sagat and Vega the keys anyway but now there's a prison break.

B: I like how the Allied nation guys just have like random flags on them

D: Well technically that's supposed to be where they're from. Guile is shooting down a van but he just got shot.

B: What is the PLOT of this movie right now???

D: Chun Li does an epic dodge roll and there's shooting and then Ken and Sagat kiss. Just kidding. GUILE IS DEAD.

M: He's not though. There's medics, and now elephants back in Shadaloo. M. Bison is making a mini replica of Bisonopolis because he's gotta have a monument to his ego. Chun Li is reporting again about how bad Bison is and how Guile is dead. For real.

Reports have been coming in of a man posing as a health inspector in order to obtain free food.

D: DJ also didn't work for Shadaloo. Raul Julia M Bison's the hell out of this.

B: Is that what you want, M. Bison? Because I'm really confused about what your actual motivation is.

D: He's about to explain it.

B: So the evil leather daddy nazi wants to create an army of super soldiers to save everyone by...killing everyone?

M: Zangief sheds a tear and says Bison's speech was beautiful. He is my favorite. Everyone's alliances here are very suspect. There's a curfew now and stuff. Bad things are happening.

B: Why does Bison needs 20 million for this?

D: I don't know. Chun Li is apparently really a spy. Or a ninja. Or both.

B: She puts on like a bad balaclava and then she just like stealths up into the AN headquarters. Very sneaky. Apparently to sneak you just walk sideways in a black jumpsuit and put your hands up like oooooh.

D: She's got her very loud tracking thing and she's in the morgue, which is empty save ONE dead guy, being Guile. It's full of wet specimens in jars like any good morgue.

B: Oh fuck he's dead. I was so emotionally invested in this character.

M: I like how they just left him in his clothes. Like you do with dead bodies. No autopsy for Guile. He immediately has Chun Li arrested. She's got a sad backstory about how she wants to kill Bison for reasons.

B: I like the random classroom skeleton in the morgue. What war?? Is this just Shadaloo against the entire world?

D: Yep!

B: All the action sequences are so bad, she's just like speed walking away.

D: meanwhile at an illegal gun auction in Shadaloo....

M: Bison is sitting there while ppl who are definitely NOT Honda and Chun Li and Balrog in costume are performing. How did they get there? We don't know. Everyone is just in Shadaloo in a one kilometer radius but Bison doesn't notice.

D: and now Ken is horny for Chun Li but DJ is also horny for...someone. Ken is gonna get kidnapped.

M: Zangief is here, my special boy.

D: Ken is gonna get beaten by Chun Li because he's a scrub. Canonically.

B: Whoah pilot, I'm not that kinda guy. Bison and Sagat are getting a little too close.

D: Bison gives Sagat an entire case of "Bison Money" and says that it will be worth five times the pound when he kidnaps the queen. Which is a great line. Sagat gets mad.

B: Thanks for that backstory, now we know that Honda and Balrog were a sumo wrestler and a boxer. Someone should have told them they didn't need to put every single fucking character from the game in the movie.

M: But they did. Chun Li is planning to blow the entire place to smithereens and she left a fucking video message to let them know about it because that's smart. QUICK, CHANGE THE CHANNEL! says zangief. He is so dumb and we love him.

D: there goes the entire budget

B: They had to buy so many bootleg fireworks for that one scene, it must’ve cost them like 20 whole dollars. Well, 20 dollars in 1994 money, so that’s like $2 million in today's money.

D: I don't really know what Ryu and Ken even do in this movie

M: I don't think they really do anything.

B: This feels like the climax of the movie but we're only 40 minutes in.

D: This movie is a non stop climax. Meanwhile in space....we're gonna geolocate M. Bison with some bullshit tech.

M: Shouldn't be hard to find everyone, they're all in the SAME PLACE. Somehow Ken and Ryu are now M Bison's personal friends for turning in Chun Li and her friends. We don't to see how any of this happened.

D: Balrog and Honda are going to the sex dungeon while Bison goes to personally sexually harass Chun Li.

B: I can't parse if what you're saying is true

M: No it's all true.

B: Ken has to tell the audience who the good guys are

M: Guile is back at the base giving his men a speech about getting into Bison's secret hideout.

B: Their only option is ONE single boat to get into Bison's ancient ruin hideout, okay.

D: meanwhile E. Honda is getting a spanking and he is no selling it. He looks bored.

This is not a scene from a porno, I swear

M: Lots of experience getting lashes. Honda is gonna pull the chain right out of the wall because he's fucking swole. Zangief's accent isn't horrible, he's giving Ken and Ryu new oufits.

D: Ken's chest is covered because he's not actually buff. They're gonna just somehow communicate the two halfs of the map they saw? And here's Guile's speech which is so bad that his lips don't match because Van Damme was so out of it they had to overdub it

M: Guile tells a man he doesn't have balls and then he gets fired but it's fine because only Guile can fight Bison. The war is cancelled. No big.

D: He gives such an inspirational speech that everyone becomes war criminals and they're gonna go after Bison

M: I thought only one guy could get in there?

D: They're gonna follow him I guess. Guile gets in the bat boat mobile and he's gonna go kill Bison.

B: The real UN would've just been like - Please stop being a dictator or we're gonna write a stern letter.

M: Back in Bison's bedroom he's got Chun Li dressed like Chun Li and he's changed into his sex hat and sex robe and he's making an evil martini while Chun li exposits all over everyone about her tragic past.

B: In movies they have a thing called tell don't show, because why would you show something when you can just have someone tell us everything.

D: Back with Ken and Ryu and Honda and Balrog who have broken out but I guess they don't realize they're on the same side.

B: I do want Bison's giant bone chandelier. Hey do you wanna see my chandelier and my painting from John Wayne Gacy? ( that's really in there )

( No, really )

M: Chun Li is still fucking talking about how Bison murdered her dad and girl, he does not care. He's the bad guy. Bison knows women though and he's like, you are harmless. But that's what she wanted him to think!

D: she casually breaks her handcuffs and kicks Bison's ass by kicking him twice. Bison pretty good at fighting, actually.....OH NO THE GAS G-GAS GAS

M: What kind of gas? Who knows! Bison escapes in his uh...evil elevator?

D: Back in Guile's boatmobile, which is his because he has his name on it.

B: Can this movie just....pick a struggle...

M: Nope! and now for the needle drop with Guile's little home video of him and Charlie and then we're back with Blanka who looks like the Lou Ferrigno hulk

D: time for more evil with Blanka. But anyway Dhalsim is gonna give Blanka some nice asmr videos.

B: I love the way fake techy computer stuff looked in the 90's

D: they show him dolphins and weddings and babies and happy things. By the way, the entire Blanka storyline is completely irrelevant.

M: no it's true, nothing ever comes of it at all. I don't now why they put it in the movie. I don't know why they put most of this in the movie. Only Zangief.

D: Speaking of Zangief...he's here. Vega says his one line. I guess everyone got caught again. Oh they got gassed in the room. So now back with Guile they're gonna stealth mode, which changes literally nothing.

M: They just machine gun down all of Bison's sensors. Dj's accent tells us that something verrrrry strange is going on in the river, it's the invisible boatmobile!

D: Anti Guile alarm! Apparently they have an anti stealth mode. So now they're gonna get out M. Bison's big special boy floating platform with video game controls on it. Zangief looks around confused that Guile is alive.

M: all zangief does is look confused until the end. Bison is unsurprised Guile is alive and he's gonna kick everyone's ass whenever Guile and Cami and whoever else get there but apparently he's just gonna press buttons and use underwater mines.

D: Bison blows up the boat but somehow Guile and everyone get out. Insert coin to continue. meanwhile they realize Dhalsim has been beaming good vibes into Blanka's head and they accidentally release Blanka but he's full of good vibes now.

Yes, he does actually look this goofy.

B: They've just made a guy who's addicted to television.

D: Blanka in all his receding hairline glory is gonna save Dhalsim. the only thing he really does in the entire movie. So here's some Shadaloo guys getting beat up by Guile and T Hawk and Cami so they can finally infiltrate the secret aztec base.

M: Everyone is soooo stealthy. they just walk around and beat guys up. Good thing they have a sewer grate into the secret base. Guile and Co fall into a hole.

D: They're finally starting to look like their actual character counterparts. The movie is mostly over.

M: Bison's account has ZERO DOLLARS AND ZERO CENTS. Now he's gonna get mad. I wonder if he'd accept Bison Bucks instead of the 20 million.

Relatable.

D: Probably. OPEN THE HOSTAGE CHAMBER. Guile has broken into this place in 20 seconds, directly into the Blanka chamber.

M: Why do they just have an aquarium. And he finds Blanka and somehow immediately knows he's Charlie even though he doesn't look at all like Charlie. Blanka grunts a lot.

D: CharlieBlanka sad.

B: That was easy! Guile is just gonna shoot him, but Dhalsim stops him.

D: Bison is like why have I not been paid? Bro, you're asking 20 billion.

M: Who even are these hostages, are they worth 20 billion?

B: Who even fucking knows??? Raul Julia is CHEWING the scenery

M: I love it. he's giving 30000 percent.

B: What is the point of this blanka shit? Why is this even in the movie?

M: they're gonna send Guile instead of Blanka I guess, even though Guile isn't a super soldier.

B: I love Zangief, he just stands around looking so confused. I feel that.

D: Guile does a 20 foot leap and drop kicks Bison who orders people to shoot the hostages and now everything is happening so much

B: Everything has been happening so much since it started

D: Everyone gets more naked and the AN is here and E Honda and Zangief are gonna fight for 20 minutes.

M: I wish that was all that happened. Guile is now outside shooting people somehow and I don't now where Bison is.

D: Honda bodyslams Zangief through a secret passage. So Bison finds out Blanka was being programmed to be good and he punches out the screen and now the allied forces are here and Ken kinda almost does a shoryuken.

M: This fight lasts the rest of the movie. Bison is like, DJ and I willl face defeat together and DJ is like, yeah I'm out. Ken is kind of an asshole in this movie. Rye-u and ken get mad and Ryu goes back to save people even though he's not getting paid.

D: This movie is a non stop car accident. Blanka is destroying things while Dhalsim yells. The smoke machine broke and Guile is shooting people and nobody knows where Bison is, including us.

M: But he's not! He's gonna call Guile out and they're gonna fight in man to man combat!

D: Guile has the american flag tattoo! They're gonna street fight.

M: If his run in with Chun Li is any indicator, this should be easy. they show a video of Zangief and Honda destroying the model of Bisontopia with godzilla noises. I love this show. Bison and Guile are still fighting. Props to Raul Julia for fighting in that fucking outfit.

D: Balrog suddenly has his boxing skills back.

B: Where are the hostages?? In the hostage pit! Where do you think they are???

D: M. Bison has died.

B: He gets thrown into a control panel and dies.

D: No we haven't climaxed yet

B: ....but....fuck....whut...I think I've had an aneurysm.

D: Bison life support activated!

B: he has life alert!

D: His suit administers cpr, and now he's gonna use ELECTRICITY!

M: Meanwhile DJ is gonna grab a treasure chest that Bison has in his locker and get out. Ken is also looking for treasure but all he finds is a statue and a bad computer screen with icons but he does see Rye-u and yells at him. It's a trap!

D: Ryu gets ambushed by Sagat and Vega

B: I forgot they were in this movie

D: Bison is gonna fly.

B: Hold up *whispers* just for like...one second please.....WHAT. Why has the climax of this movie been happening for 80 minutes?

D: He's gonna fly. With superconductor electromagnetism. Yanno.

He’s playing the bass and I’m flyin’! (Editor’s note: how many times have I made this fucking joke?)

M: I love Raul Julia so fucking much though oh my god. I miss him. Oh yeah Ken and ryu are fighting and shit and people are losing their shirts.

D: He kinda did a Hadouken. Ryu is gonna burn Vega in the incinerator but only a mild burn

M: Ken and Ryu unsuprisingly win and now they're gonna go to Dizzkneeworld. Bison is just flying all over and shooting lightning at Guile but he's got BIG KICKS and he launches Bison into the screens and he explodes.

B: Oh shit the energy field is unstable!!! Oh shit!

M: Balrog punches open the hostage room. Zangief and Honda are STILL fighting but Honda is like welll I gotta run and Zangief is like DJ! Come fight with me! And DJ is like dude Bison is the fucking villian. Zangief is again confused. Bison is a bad guy???? You got....paid??? He is best boy.

D: Oh no the blast doors are gonna close! How are we gonna get out?? Oh it's ZANGIEF! Who somehow got outside and he's holding the door open and he's also much more naked. And now we're back with Dhalsim who is now bald and mostly naked and he's like nah I'll take CharlieBlanka out, we're fine.

B: WheaheIyeah???

D: And then the evil temple blows up and Cami and Chun Li kiss. Not really. All the Shadaloo henchmen are giving up

M: Zangief stands there proudly as a new good guy.

D: Sagat and DJ escape and now Sagat is shirtless but the treasure is actually BisonBucks

M: Everyone thinks Guile is dead but he's not and everyone is so happy to see him

B: He's been an asshole this whole time.

M: Everyone is good guys now!! And everyone is fine with that I guess. Chun Li and Guile have a little something something but it's kinda gross

D: Why is everyone horny for Chun Li?? Me at the entire Street Fighter Community.

B: Why is it still exploding?

M: The energy field

B: BUT WHY?? THIS WAS NEVER MENTIONED IN THE ENTIRE MOVIE UNTIL THE VERY END!! IT MAKES NO SENSE! ALL OF THE SUDDEN IT HAS A MELTDOWN??? WHAT THE FUCK IS THE ENERGY FIELD???

D: What happened to Blanka and Dhalsim? We'll never know

B: I don't know what happened, period. What the fuck is going on.

D: This is the most insane movie I've seen in my entire life. The breakneck pace does not stop, it starts at an 11 and goes up to a 14 real quick and stays there. Zangief is best boy,

B: w...what? I don't have anything else to say. What was any of that???? What? Why?

M: You're looking for meaning where there is none. It's beautiful chaos.

B: I will say one thing...there's NEVER a dull moment. Not a single one. You're not given a second to be bored.

D: How many stars would you give this movie?

B: Mayonnaise.

[lastonthebrakes]

marc marquez could announce he's leaving honda at motegi. in 2003, valentino rossi rejected a new contract offer from honda AT MOTEGI, effectively ending their partnership and moving to yamaha soon thereafter. do with this info as u wish i'm gonna go insane.