#homophobia against insects
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aaaaoooughhhh i did art instead of studying again. so sue me
#this one isn't getting posted here it's for a ✨school club✨#also one of the people in charge of the art department for it so I've been manning art submissions for our publication#of which the 'deadline' (we lied to the artists so when they procrastinate they miss our fake deadline and not the real one)#was like two hours ago#anyways watching people's submissions coming in and our artists are all so talented and creative#so proud we're so cool#also we're mostly cs and psych students somehow#of which i am both so make of that what you will#but gosh it feels so GOOD to help these super talented students get their work in the publication!!!#even if it's mostly hounding people about the deadlines and filling out forms#anyways every time my roommate sees me drawing people they say I'm drawing 'gay people'#this time i drew cicadas and my roommate would not call them gay people even when prompted :/#homophobia against insects#eggsistential speaks
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I'm going to start making some art requests. You can tell me what you want, as long as you follow the rules of my blog.
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#monster High#WinxClub#duckverse#Ducktales#paperinik#Hollow Knight#duck avenger#Pokemon#Dangaronpa#TMNT#The Owl House#Precure#Ninjago#Monkie Kid#Henry Stickmin#Animation vs Animator#Murder Drones#Undertale#Five Nights at Freddy's#Sonic the hedgehog#cuphead#my little pony#art requests#dreamworks trolls#ask box open#send asks#tales of arcadia#crossover fandom#transformers
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Eluding Capture: The Science, Culture, and Pleasure of “Queer” Animals by Stacy Alaimo
The chapter begins with three separate quotes—the one that speaks to me the most is by Bruce Bagemihl and his theory of Biological Exuberance where he defines it as, “above all, an affirmation of life’s vitality and infinite possibilities: a world that is at once primordial and futuristic, in which gender is kaleidoscopic, sexualities are multiple, and the categories of male and female are fluid and transmutable. A world, in short, exactly like the one we inhabit” (51).
Alaimo’s opening sentence is a powerful one, “’Nature’ and the ‘natural’ have long been waged against homosexuals, as well as women, people of color, and indigenous peoples”(51). Queer theory is guilty of trying to fully separate nature/natural from queer desire, attempting to make queer sexuality a uniquely social, human phenomenon. When the reality is that nature is awash with examples of gender and sexual diversity. The question and larger discourse ask; is nature queer? Can nonhuman nature be queer? and if so, what might that mean for other discourses?(What are the implications?) Alaimo states that we need better, ‘more robust and complex’ ways of engaging with materiality, that account for the diversity and ‘exuberance’ of a “multitude of naturecultures” (52).
Books such as Bruce Bagemihl’s Biological Exuberance: Animal Homosexuality and Natural Diversity (1999) (among many other examples) present possibilities for “radically rethinking nature as queer, by documenting the vast range of same-sex acts, same-sex childrearing pairs, intersex animals, multiple ‘genders’, ‘transvestism’ and transsexuality existing throughout the more-than-human world. Bagemihl restricts himself to mammals and birds but still manages to discuss nearly three hundred species and over 200 years of scientific research. “Bagemihl’s exhaustively researched volume renders any sense of normative heterosexuality within nature an absurd impossibility” (52).
Alaimo provides several other examples of challenges to heteronormativity in nature in recent years, including an exhibition at the Natural History Museum at the University of Oslo in Norway called, “Against Nature?” (2007). According to the website for the exhibit, “Homosexuality has been observed in most vertebrate groups, and also from insects, spiders, crustaceans, octopi and parasitic worms. The phenomenon has been reported from more than 1,500 animal species, and is well documented for 500 of them, but the real extent is probably much higher” (Against Nature 2007)(54).
The author argues that recognizing the sexual diversity of animals has several significant benefits; heteronormativity has damaged and diminished scientific knowledge (the author uses biology, anthropology as examples but I’d say this is an issue that science in general must contend with). The ‘scientific silence on homosexuality in animals amounts to a cover-up, deliberate or not’ (54) and thus scientists have a duty to correct this.
Researchers have documented how the ‘majority of scientists have ignored, refused to acknowledge, closeted, or explained away their observations of same-sex behavior in animals, for fear of risking their reputations, scholarly credibility, academic positions , or heterosexual identity” (54). Alaimo then gives examples of cases where this was the case in varying levels. As we’ve learned, the assumption of heterosexuality as the ‘only natural form’ is not an ‘appropriate benchmark for ecological research’ (54) and heteronormative bias might render already difficult work even more so.
“Endocrine disruptors alone demand an extraordinarily complex and nuanced understanding of the ‘mangling’ of environmental science, health, and politics, with misogyny, homophobia, and other cultural forces’ (55). The author recognizes that rather than simply tossing ‘queer animals into the ring of public opinion to battle the still pervasive sense that homosexuality is unnatural, we need to embrace the possibilities for the sexuality diversity of animal behavior to help us continue to transform our most basic sense of what nature and culture mean’ (55).
Alaimo’s continues by saying that biological exuberance, vast diversity ‘deviance’, and astonishing difference make nonsense of biological reductionism and the idea that animals are ‘genetically driven machines’ but creatures who exist fully within their own ‘naturecultures’ (56).
#queer ecologies: sex nature politics desire#heteronormativity#queer animals#animals#nature#biological exuberance#animal sexuality#queer ecology#ecofeminism#queer theory#critical ecology#naturecultures#reductionism#sociology
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I have just come to a horrifying conclusion.
I was thinking of Fem Battler waking up in Purgatory for the first time, and meeting Beatrice in the meta. Fem beabato brainrot is real and it’s invading my thoughts. I’m actually trying to write a fic that will probably never see the light of day about it, but that’s not the horrifying thing here.
Then my brain went and flipped the coin and thought of Fem Tohya and Ikuko - because that’s always the other side of the coin, when thinking of Battler in the meta.
Battler’s in the meta, and Tohya’s…with Ikuko. Trying to exist against the shadowy claws of his own mind reaching to tear his existence apart or otherwise torment him (BB and Tohya brainrot as well. BB brainrot in general).
They’d be a toxic yuri couple, possibly in the closet because of internalized homophobia and homophobia from others - though Ikuko’s maids probably wouldn’t say anything considering she (or her family) is paying their checks.
It really hurts in regards to Tohya, because my brain adds in your interpretation of Ikuko who, despite caring and even loving Tohya, locks him into this perpetual friendzone that leaves him starved for affection and coming back to her for more, to a Fem Ikutoh, where Tohya may possibly be drowning in internalized homophobia on top of Ikuko’s give-and-take of just this side of friendly-romantic action, because - she is already weak and fragile as Ikuko cares for her, why would Ikuko-san come to like a woman like her, when women weren’t supposed to love one another, not in a romantic manner…?
I’m not sure how Ikuko herself would feel, considering it’s - Ikuko. Who views most of society beneath her - she is a god above human, or a human above insects, the cattle which is slaughtered and consumed for her to eat. I think my crack headcanon is that she goes gender? Societal roles? What are those? Foolish concepts of the children of man.
Or something.
(And I saw a previous post on your page mentioning of Tohya with a different gender identity than Battler’s and that also makes me Think on how Ikuko would perceive Tohya then, as transgender, non-binary, or so on, because that would be so cool to read about??? I’d love to hear your thoughts, and there’s something soothing about Ikuko helping Tohya figuring out how they want to present themselves-)
However, It’s also the 80’s and she was born into a wealthy family who deemed themselves above most of society. She’d need to marry well to others of the same status of her family, and have children though - so gender roles and expectations would very much still be a thing in her upbringing. Internalized homophobia would likely affect her - but to what extent?
Loving women could possibly be an additional thing which got her essentially excommunicated, but Tohya wouldn’t know that unless Ikuko ever went into detail about what got her sent away.
So. Ow.
In one corner you have poor Tohya pining for an actual relationship with someone whose (leading her on due to previous issues of her own) out of her reach in her eyes and to whom she is an undesirable, that even if their relationship moves on to something more physical it is Ikuko doing so out of pity of Tohya… and then there’s Ikuko in the other corner.
Ikuko, who is a women who wishes to possess, to own, to care for something in its entirety - even if that ‘something’ is another human being, because Ikuko is a woman raised to view most below her, even those she cares for and loves.
A god-complex isn’t very fruitful when it comes to forming healthy attachments for all that is possible, and it’s noted that Ikuko isn’t a very social person to begin with.
Looking through your interpretation of the character, she is someone who does not want to be abandoned again, after a person she did love and treated as close to an equal as possible knew the level of her possessive protectiveness over them wasn’t healthy and tried to leave, and will not treat those she wants to keep close to her as an equal because they gives them the ability to leave her - and they are just.
Such a couple.
And then, I though of a male Ikuko and Tohya because the two of them are — they just Are. I don’t know how to frame the way Ikuko has this ‘worship me’ subtly woven into her words and actions, and it’s somehow as subtle as a brick to the face while also as impossible for the naked eye to see as the wind, especially when it is fem Ikutoh or masc Ikutoh.
Both become sort of model figures for Tohya, someone they desire to be with, but just out of reach by design because they can’t be left, abandoned, again.
No words, just the imagery of male Ikuko cradling Tohya in the soft early hours, whispering comfort in his ear, and the moment being unspeakably intimate for two men together, romantic or otherwise especially in the 80’s and it hurts something deep in me. Then acting like they are just friends and Nothing is Happening between them.
Toxic yuri, now toxic yaoi. These two, I swear.
Which led me to thinking of the dynamic of a male Ikuko and female Tohya.
It’s already known that what Ikuko did to Tohya is pretty fucked, but when you frame it when both their genders have been swapped, it becomes that much more apparent, compared to a woman finding an injured man, or another woman, or a man finding another injured man.
Got to love them double standards.
Like, if the roles were swapped and Battler had picked Ikuko up of the road (well, Battler wouldn’t have pulled an Ikuko at all, moot point) - if a guy found a girl essentially dying in the middle of the road, saved her life, but also kind of kidnapped her in the process - not as pretty or easy to kind of superficially glaze over, as in canon, considering the very very small bit of time we receive with Tohya and Ikuko?
When a guy picks up a girl on a street, you tend to think predator, murderer, some combination of the two - etc. Then there is Everything Ikuko does (or doesn’t do) in regards to getting Tohya help, such as contacting hospital and police about finding them badly injured in the middle of the road - and they’re still a minor no less -
Just. These Two. They make me want to scream.
Oh I wish you so much luck with whatever you're writing ---
Fem ikutoh definitely has a lot of intrigue to it, you mentioned the internalized homophobia as a potential thing and. Yes. I think it would add an extra layer of artificial distance between them, because while Ikuko is aware that it's taboo and doesn't care, she doesn't need to tell Tohya that, and it adds an extra bit of bite to this very codependent closeness that Tohya thinks is one-sided love and affection, feeling guilty when Ikuko shares a bed with her or does things like run her fingers through her hair to calm her after a nightmare, because Ikuko doesn't want that from her, does she? It's normal for two women to be close like this, Tohya is abnormal for wanting more from it, but Ikuko teases her and sometimes she's so touchy and she says "I love you" but it's platonically, isn't it?
The homophobia can also tie into Ikuko implying that only she would be able to accept Tohya having this kind of feeling towards another woman, that anyone else would be disgusted but she's gracefully willing to help Tohya with her 'unwomanly' / 'abnormal' urges; using Tohya's internalized homophobia and general societal homophobia as a tool to further isolate her and keep her to herself.
Ikuko's probably been raised very heavily on "kiss and don't tell", or: you can do what you want behind closed doors as long as people don't find out about it (with a side of emphasis on public appearance and not getting too invested in 'commoners' outside being entertainment). They might want their daughter to get married to someone else of similar (or slightly lower) social class for public appearances and produce an heir, but I feel like they wouldn't care about if that marriage was loving so long as it functioned. I'm not sure her own parents really loved each other; I feel like they shared similar interests/outlooks on life, at least.
As for Tohya being trans/nonbinary/otherwise gnc... I think Tohya would be very repressed about it, feeling some kind of desire or dysphoria that Tohya can't really name and doesn't really comprehend. But Ikuko is very perceptive and might recognize this about Tohya. What she would do, though... I think maybe she would take it as an opportunity to further cement Tohya as 'separate' from Battler: Tohya is hers, so their identity / gender presentation being very distinct from Battler's is in her favor - and it, and perhaps its acceptance, being tied to Ikuko is even more so. Another way for Ikuko to shape Tohya's development/identity and for Tohya to be grateful to her and rely on her for assistance.
...If I'm being honest I had never thought about masc Ikuko / Tohya before this moment (or masc Ikuko / fem Tohya) but both are their own levels of awful: the former with its own form of internalized homophobia and the latter with just how clearly it displays a powerful, wealthy man taking advantage of (and grooming) a much younger woman, and how misogyny ties into their power dynamic in that scenario. Awful. You have wonderful ideas.
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Oh, I’ve been looking forward to seeing your spoiler heavy thoughts on this section. Another excellent analysis and I have some points of my own I’d like to share. As with my previous reblogs of your posts, I’ll go scene by scene and full spoilers below.
Chase’s inner thoughts give us a little more insight into his struggles with hallucination and sleep paralysis. While this doesn’t have as much bearing on Carl’s route as others, it is an effective way of establishing uncertainty before moving into more overtly supernatural territory, as even our protagonist is unsure what is real and what isn’t. I’m fascinated at your point that sudden changes to sleep schedules is a real thing that can affect one’s sleep paralysis. Definitely provides an interesting extra layer of context. And adds a poignancy to Chase’s struggles with trauma and how they constantly follow him. Even starting fresh in college, well out of Echo, all it takes is something as mundane as a night shift to bring back his old demons.
“I mean, once, after I’d seen a scary movie about possession, I’d been afraid to go to sleep for weeks, mainly because my nightmares can seem so real.” - Given both the truth of Chase’s own character AND how Carl’s route unfolds, the irony is practically dripping from this line. As you yourself say OP, not only is Chase’s worse nightmare happening to him the whole time, it’s about to happen to his best friend.
James Hendricks:
Chase’s research into James Hendricks really struck me on closer inspection this read through as I noticed just how much of it is thematically relevant to the rest of the game.
James is presented as an immigrant to America in 1825, a victim of prejudice and parental abuse. As an adult he goes on to become an embodiment of colonialism, and a perpetrator of racism and abuse in his own right. The cycles of exploitation and violence interspersed throughout America’s history are yet another circle. One that pulls people in and results in them spreading further harm. James and John’s relationship is immediately set up as unhealthy as the reader is instantly altered to James’ history of ‘prejudice against the Natives’. Thus there is an immediate oxymoron given that we immediately learn they were apparently lovers. And given that The Smoke Room has later confirmed that James was much younger than John, this only further enhances the uncomfortable power dynamic in their relationship. Toxic relationships are yet another integral theme of Echo that is hence repeated through the town’s history.
I also so took note of how the game specifies that “He married Emma, a girl half his age in 1860.” This on its own, uncomfortable as it is, is not inherently remarkable, given that women would be married off as young as possible at such a time. But given what is revealed about James over the story, I think this is pointed out to the reader for a reason (plus, just because it was normal for the time has never stopped Echo from pointing out how deeply predatory the practise of marrying young women and girls off could be: see Marcy from The Smoke Room as a horrifying example).
The death of John Begay is a painful reminder of the homophobia and racism that still dogs the town. John, whose indigenous heritage makes him an easy scapegoat, is hanged for the ‘crime’ of sodomy, while James, a rich white coded man, escapes thanks to his money and influence. And as we learn, the actual truth is still more uncomfortable. James was not the only true culprit but was guilty of something much, much worse. Later, James dies from an unusual insect bite in 1891, a further extension of the symbolism of spiders in the narrative (again, I’ll save my thoughts on this for Flynn’s route). But for now, consider how James is killed years after the fact, by a creature which arguably symbolises Echo’s themes of trauma and entrapment (again, I’ll get to this more another time).
The strewn photos are of course, the first sign of James’ Hendricks ultimate goal: to conceal the monstrous truth of his actions, by destroying the evidence. Because as always, this town needs secrets.
-What I mostly want to enforce is how many of the integral themes of the story, so many of the ugly aspects of the town, resurface in James’ history: Racism, abuse (familial and spousal), homophobia, colonialism, toxic relationships, and the inescapable nature of the past. He is the embodiment of the town’s corruption, both a victim and perpetrator of this circle of suffering, one rooted in the real systemic undercurrents of America itself. I don’t wanna say James is the ‘true villain of the whole game’ but he is an essential part of the tapestry, a crucial link in the chain. Even if the portrayal of ghosts in Carl’s route may speak to a different, earlier plan for the text, it still lines up with the nature of the story that we got.
-Back upstairs, Carl starts to become uncomfortable when Chase suggests getting him a change of clothes and shaving his beard. Chase has consistently been a support to Carl because he’s the one person who has never forced Carl to be anything other than what he is. However, he has also been guilty of being too passive, too negligent to his friend’s issues. I agree that this significantly well meaning ab selfless behaviour on Chase’s part. In fact I would argue that Carl’s route put’s especial emphasis on Chase’s character arc of learning to get out of his own head and be more empathetic to the people around him. Every route gives Chase a significantly different character arc. Some positive, some negative. And in this route, this aspect of Chase takes centre stage. With that in mind, we see Chase starting to change. Perhaps somewhat aware of these mistakes, after their conversation the previous night, Chase attempts to make more of an effort to help Carl. But unfortunately he ends up perhaps pushing too hard, too fast. Like everyone else on his life, Carl feels he is once again being talked at. Pushed to change himself into someone he’s not.
-Jenna calls Carl to chastise him and Chase for not spending the day with the rest of the group. I certainly agree with your emphasis that Jenna’s literal possession is not properly addressed as a context and she gets unfairly demonised for moments like this in parts of the fandom. Questions of character agency and how much say the characters have when they’re at the whim of supernatural forces comes up pretty frequently in Echo discourse, but I’d say this example is pretty clear cut.
The thing is, to an extent, possession aside for the moment, Jenna isn’t completely wrong. Chase and Carl have effectively shut themselves off from the rest of the group and refused to engage with them. It’s understandable why. The group’s dynamic is far from healthy and the two wanting to disengage from that is fair. But it’s also another case of both of them doing something they have done repeatedly, especially Chase. Taking the easy option even if it hurts the people around them. There’s a lot of complicated emotions at play. When Chase criticises Jenna’s bad attitude or Leo for sulking because ‘Leo’s day didn’t go the way he wanted’, he’s not wrong. Jenna is pinning the blame on Carl for a much wider, more complicated topic. But perhaps shutting themselves off isn’t the best approach for either of them. Especially since they were all so angry at Flynn specifically for refusing to engage with the group despite it being the last time they’ll all see each other. It’s another example of Howly being able to write complex arguments where everyone reacts in a way true to their characters and no one is 100% right or wrong. He doesn’t rely on strawmen for his arguments which is a sign of good writing.
A minor tragic detail. Chase notices that Carl’s uncomfortable reaction mirrors his reaction to the surprise party. But he doesn’t realise that this implies he’s put Carl in that exact kind of situation again. Instead he comments on how he appears ‘cute’. He’s trying so hard to be a better friend and he’s not quite getting it, bless him.
I also want to touch on Chase and Carl’s dynamic here because I’m not necessarily sure it’s a sign of density on Chase’s part. There’s a hesitancy and a lot left unsaid as Carl tentatively makes advances towards Chase. And while Chase may not always comment, he is clearly aware. He’s already had the option ti kiss Carl. I kind of like how the two slowly shifting their relationship to something more than platonic is done in quiet moments without much commentary from either character. They’re both well aware of what’s happening, but they’re both trying to figure out what they are to each other right now.
Raven:
Ok. Before we get to Raven, there’s a bit of an elephant in the room that needs to be addressed, one OP has briefly touched on. When you read criticisms of Echo, a very common one is that Carl’s route is the weakest. Or at least that, as the first to be completed, it doesn’t entirely line up with what the story evolved into later. Howly himself has said it kind of embarrasses him compared to his later work. And there’s even been suggestions floated for one of Echo Project’s other writers to take a shot at rewriting the climax, (thats still up in the air at the time of writing). Now, while I personally believe that Howly is being a touch harsh on his own work, I do agree that it is the weakest route. But I don’t necessarily want this to turn into a review of the game’s technical quality. So I’m going to try and take a good faith reading of the text and what it’s going for as writ, and leave it up to you to decide both whether I’m right about Howly’s intent when writing this and whether it works in execution. Is this a pre defence because I might be about to start reaching? Maybe.
Anyway, let’s talk about Raven. Raven is a pretty polarising character. It’s often said that he feels out of place, or lacks the necessary character development or connection to the wider story a person with this much screen time should have. You’ll often hear people say that you could take Raven out of the climax of Carl’s route, and replace him with Flynn, or Jeremy or several other characters with a bigger stake in the plot, and it would work better. But since this is the story that we got, I want to talk about what role Raven arguably does serve as it stands now.
Raven is one of several characters who were designed and named in tribute of one of Echo’s backers. Certain financialsupporters were able to have a character of their own cameo in the game (a fair inclusion in a game monetised solely through Patreon and donations). But I think when you line up these backer characters, their shared function is somewhat interesting. They all serve to give the one of the characters a social circle outside their extremely complicated, borderline toxic group. Raven is a well adjusted character remote from the group’s baggage. One Carl could potentially be much closer to if he were not so trapped in his own head (and room). He could be closer to Carl, but he isn’t, and there’s a reason for that. In that sense, he serves a similar narrative role that Daxton does for Flynn (and Carl to an extent), Julian does for TJ and Kudzu does for both Chase and Leo (the former in a romantic sense and the latter platonically). Much healthier alternative friendships and relationships who could do a lot of good for these characters and help them make a fresh start if they aren’t so weighed down by their baggage. The best thing for all these characters would be to get as far away from Echo as they can and start fresh with new relationships like these. He also serves to provide comedic levity as the story plunges into much darker territory. (Side note: the only two anomalies to this theory as to the role of the backer characters are Injy, who is purely a cameo and Micha. Though arguably Micha is important to getting Jenna to question her assumptions about the people who stayed in Echo, so he arguably still works in service of this analysis, as he is an interpersonal relationship that makes Jenna a better person, even though he’s arguably tied more closely to Chase and Leo).
And for the most part, I will leave it there. That’s my take on Raven, why he faces criticism and why I still think he works in the final product (mostly) even if I agree with some of the critiques of his role.
Anyway, before moving on, there are two other details that stood out to me about this scene.
-The game points out that Carl eats notably less when he’s out in public, because he’s expecting to be judged because of his weight. In retrospect it shines his back and forth with Flynn in a new light. For all the times Flynn rather cruelly made fun of his weight, he is at least comfortable enough around his friends that he doesn’t have to hide himself that way. He has no shame eating around the group because, for all their faults, he knows that they know him well enough not to judge him for something so unfair.
“If someone isn’t homophobic, gay relationships are usually “cute” or “adorable”.- Chase’s response to Raven’s inquiry about his relationship status provides a little more insight to why he was so uncomfortable as a queer man in Echo. The best treatment he could expect is condescension (intentional or no) if not outright bigotry. Or at least that’s how he felt, even if that may not have been Raven’s intention.
Chase’s dream:
Chase feels something crushing down on his body, opening his eyes to find the room tinged in blood red light. He feels a presence in the room laughing mockingly by his ear, but it leaves when he closes his eyes.
When he opens then again, Carl’s room is still empty and something drags him through the house into the crawlspace screaming threateningly at him. My personal interpretation is that this is another sign that the two ghosts that haunt Carl’s mansion are growing more active as the hysteria builds. It could be either James Hendricks or John Begay. If it is James, he has recognised that Chase is a threat because he has started to uncover the truth. If it is John, it may because he sees Chase as allied with Carl (and James by extension) hence why he acts so violent later in the route. I personally believe it is the latter, as James is later characterised as relying on charismatic manipulation than outright threats of violence like this.
Friday:
-Chase begins to figure out that Carl is tampering with the information about James Hendricks. Including the passage about John Begay. Clearly, James’ influence over Carl is growing stronger and more frequent.
Chase and Leo at the diner:
-Chase and Leo’s talk in the the diner has been a long time coming. This follow up to their complicated situation has been building since the prologue. First of all, it forces Chase to confront that he’s been putting his relationships on hold to hang out with Carl. It’s a moment where Chase has to recognise his desire to avoid a difficult situation as somewhat selfish, when Leo attempts to bring back a topic Chase has been pointedly avoiding. It’s a moment that plays into Chase’s character arc in Carl’s route of becoming a more considerate friend to the people around him.
However, what dominates this discussion is Sydney’s death and how badly it affected the whole group. Leo is finally able to express his feelings of survivor’s guilt and how it fuelled his overprotectiveness towards the rest of the group. This puts his later actions in his own route, including his controlling behaviour and fixation on their old pack, into perspective. However, it’s clear there is more going on here. This conversation is cathartic but it only scratches the surface of everything wrong with the group. Leo needs to believe that the main thing that damaged everyone was Sydney’s death, and to an extent, he’s right. But he ends up simplifying the topic because he needs to believe that this situation fixable, that their group isn’t beyond repair. When Chase mentions that Carl’s anxiety is more complicated than just an after effect of that incident, Leo ignores him. When Chase tries to say Jenna was able to find fulfilment by leaving Echo, Leo plows on. This belief that everything wrong with the group all goes back purely to Sydney fuels Leo’s decision to go back to the lake and find closure. The attempt is admirable, but the baggage weighing down this group is far more complicated than that alone. So he ends up rushing things, effectively manipulating the others into coming to the lake, trying to resolve ‘eleven years of baggage’ in one day. As well meaning as the attempt is, it’s doomed to disaster. This arguably the most well intentioned attempt Leo makes to reunite the group, but it also demonstrates that, out of naivety or sheer stubbornness, he is greatly underestimating the complexity of everyone’s situation.
I also appreciate your commentary on how the ‘afternoon sun’ invokes the sunrise/sunset motif of Chase and Leo’s relationship that has been touched on previously. Indeed, the game even uses the same sunset background for this scene as the epilogue of Leo’s route. This is actually a touchingly pleasant moment between Chase and Leo that highlights how much of their conflict is rooted in a lack of communication. The most sincere moments between the two, (Leo’s good ending, their conversation in Flynn’s route, Leo opening up about his problems in Jenna’s route) are the moments where they talk, openly and frankly, instead of using each other as emotional crutches to not think about their problems. And they’re both better for it. However, as much as Leo needed to near that the group are adults and not his responsibility to herd together (nor should he blame himself for Sydney’s death) this scene only scratches the surface of the pair’s issues. When Leo tries to hint towards the topic of ‘you and me’, Chase notably doesn’t comment. Leo clearly has not given up on revisiting this topic and reconciling and Chase, for all his growth, is still avoiding the issue. There is still hope that the pair’s friendship at least can be salvaged, but only if they talk honestly, even moreso than they did here. Whether they succeed in doing so on other routes remains to be seen…
Saturday:
Carl’s sprite now changes for the rest of the route after his beard and outfit have been changed. While Chase and Raven are excited to see him cleaned up, it serves as an effective visual indicator of Carl being changed, made into a different person, which pairs with the underlying subtext of rest of the route.
-The player is given a minor choice about whether to encourage Carl to where the beanie or not. Interestingly though, regardless of the player’s choice, Carl will still wear it. For the first time, when he’s at his most uncomfortable, when he feels like even Chase is unduly pressuring him, Carl puts his foot down and makes his own choice. It’s a choice that backfires, but it’s still a significant, if subtle, moment in his character arc.
Note that when Chase opts to tell Carl about the plan to go to the lake (the thing Leo was reluctant to do for the rest) he agrees it’s a good idea, despite arguably being the most socially anxious of the group. Yet another sign that a little emotional honesty would do this group wonders and attempting to manipulate everyone back into being friends (however well intentioned) rather than just speaking honestly is doomed to disaster.
Carl’s interview:
Carl’s interview is the culmination of a slowly building tension across the past few days. Carl has been pressured by his family to interview for a job he doesn’t feel cut out for. He’s then pressured by Chase, the one person he thought would never ask too much of him, to reinvent himself in a way that feels uncomfortable and unfamiliar. As Carl himself says ‘this isn’t me’. And that attempt to be someone he isn’t causes his interview to fail, in turn sending him spiralling further into self defeating misery. Carl will never become more self reliant if he continues going along with what other people tell him is best for him as they talk at him. If his heart’s not in it, he’ll inevitably be doomed to keep failing. This is why he needs to decide what he wants for himself, to find his own motivation. Because otherwise he’ll only either continue to stagnate in his room, or throw himself repeatedly against the wall as he tries to appease other people. Not for the last time this week, Carl became someone he isn’t to make the people around him happy, which is a miserable way to live one’s life.
It’s at this moment that Chase finally realises ‘that I’d become exactly what he said I wasn’t, what he liked me for not being.’ Chase, realising he hasn’t been there for Carl as much as he could have, which is further muddled by the growing feelings between the two, has tried to help Carl as best he can. But ended up pushing too much, too hard. Carl liked having Chase around because he never put pressure on him, but the consequence was that Chase could be noncommittal, and not help enough when Carl needed it. In trying to fix that, he ends up doing the opposite, exactly what Carl’s parents, Jenna, and everyone else in his life keeps doing.
However, even if the circumstances leading to it were unfair, Carl’s ability to maturely accept that ‘I’m the one that screwed up the interview’ is a sign that he is growing. And it allows him to move onto another difficult social situation without complaint. Much like the beanie choice, this is a small subtle moment that shows Carl is slowly coming into his own.
The lake:
The group find the lake has changed dramatically in all the time they’ve stayed away, something Chase alluded to at the river. Just as ‘Echo is trying really hard to stay alive’ so too Leo tries desperately to keep their group alive.
At first, the meeting is just as much a disaster as expected. Flynn blows up just as he did last time. Leo’s attempt to moderate quickly turns into aggression. It all looks like it’ll end the exact same way. Only this time, Chase, the most indecisive member of the group, intervenes. In an act that he admits is ‘really just for me’, Chase steps out into the lake that has symbolised both his self expression and his trauma for years. And in doing so, he inspires the others to come join him. For just one moment they’re able to face their fear and find a moment of catharsis and healing. Chase’s inner thoughts capture the thesis of the entire game: that you can’t change the past. And, as important as honesty and communication are, that also means accepting that there are some things you can’t just talk out. Sometimes, you can just accept reality and move forward.
…But doing that is much easier said than done. And sometimes one moment of clarity isn’t enough to magically fix anything.
-As Chase succumbs to sleep paralysis, metaphorically bound/anchored to the place of his trauma, dangerously close to dying the same way that Sydney did, he hears a voice mocking him for thinking it would be so easy. Is it Sam? Is it Sydney? It’s unclear (though given Sam is often represented by a distinct font, I’m inclined to think it’s the latter). I think that OP is correct that this may be another sign that the supernatural influence may have been imagined slightly differently in earlier drafts of the story. But this holdover still serves the theme. In fact, given we’re on the cusp of the hysteria, this might be that Chase getting his own little taste of it, as Echo itself weaponises his guilt against him.
-This moment causes the previous tranquil atmosphere to collapse. Nearly losing another friend in the exact same way they lost their first is so damaging that the group spirals into chaos. Flynn’s anger at TJ finally breaks, as does Leo’s at Flynn’s. For a moment, they came close to finding healing, but it wasn’t enough, and now they’re more torn apart than ever. As far as Carl’s route goes, this is the end of the friend group. Only Chase, Carl and Jenna will go on to have a large role in the narrative. Leo, Flynn and TJ are left to the hysteria, which will likely magnify their existing conflict, and as we later learn, destroys their fragile relationship for good.
-Carl’s route is arguably the most removed from both the death of Sydney, and the mass hysteria. As such, it is recommended by the developers to be played first. And I believe this moment is why. Carl’s route gives is glimpses of what the group needs to do to heal, but it’s not enough. Leo and Chase get to talk, but they don’t unpack everything. The group attempts to face their trauma, but it only lasts a moment. We’re given a taste of how these people could become better, but it’s also made clear that these issues go far deeper than originally thought. It will require us to go deeper, play more routes, if we want even a hope of any kind of more lasting recovery. Contrary to what Leo thought. Sydney’s death was clearly just the tip of the iceberg of everything that’s wrong here. It will take far more than this one moment to fix things.
And that’s all for my interpretation of this part of Carl’s route. Thank you once again OP for providing these book club analyses and I look forward to your next one.
(Indenting here because this app keeps cutting off the last paragraphs of my posts on mobile, thanks Tumblr(!))
-Carl’s route is arguably the most removed from both the death of Sydney, and the mass hysteria. As such, it is recommended by the developers to be played first. And I believe this moment is why. Carl’s route gives is glimpses of what the group needs to do to heal, but it’s not enough. Leo and Chase get to talk, but they don’t unpack everything. The group attempts to face their trauma, but it only lasts a moment. We’re given a taste of how these people could become better, but it’s also made clear that these issues go far deeper than originally thought. It will require us to go deeper, play more routes, if we want even a hope of any kind of more lasting recovery. Because this? Clearly wasn’t enough. Contrary to what Leo thought, Sydney’s death was only the tip of the iceberg of everything wrong here. And any lasting solution will require much more than this one moment. And that’s all for my interpretation of this part of Carl’s route. Thank you once again OP for providing these book club analyses and I look forward to your next one.
And that’s all for my interpretation of this part of Carl’s route. Thank you once again OP for providing these book club analyses and I look forward to your next one.
-Carl’s route is arguably the most removed from both the death of Sydney, and the mass hysteria. As such, it is recommended by the developers to be played first. And I believe this moment at the lake is why. Carl’s route gives glimpses of what the group needs to do to heal, but it’s not enough. Leo and Chase get to talk, but they don’t unpack everything. The group attempts to face their trauma, but it only lasts a moment. We’re given a taste of how these people could become better, but it’s also made clear that these issues go far deeper than originally thought. It will require us to go deeper, play more routes, if we want even a hope of any kind of more lasting recovery. Because this? Clearly wasn’t enough.
And that’s all for my interpretation of this part of Carl’s route. Thank you once again OP for providing these book club analyses and I look forward to your next one.
Furry Visual Novel Book Club: Echo Week 5
Hi everyone, here is the SPOILER discussion post for “Echo - Carl’s Thursday/Friday/Saturday”
Links: Previous - Next - Original - Spoiler Free Version
Feel free to respond in reblogs/replies/or asks :D
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a mirror into the past; dragon and wood
summary: you were always fascinated at the young targaryen even when you were still little. as time passed by, your heights and face weren't the only thing that grew, your fondness of each other eventually grew as well.
pairings: helaena targaryen x female dragonrider!reader
warning: subtle themes of homophobia
notes: hi loves!! pls lmk how this fic is (feedbacks comments / asks) since it’ll be my first time writing for helaena and i rlly enjoyed writing it and i hope u enjoy reading it just as much ! <3
Discrete chuckles and rushing steps against the stone floor filled the halls of the Red Keep, two hands held onto each other while her hands dragged you happily towards various corridors. Your hand holding the small box that had her bugs—even though you're a tad bit squeamish about them.
The two of you ran so swiftly past the handmaidens that your faces were a blur; only if it weren't for the bright platinum hair that adorned Helaena's head.
It wasn't always like this, running in the corridors as you sneaked away from your family in the dragonpit. Being a part of the dragonriders in Westeros, you should've been in the dragonpit. You should have been with your family, anticipating the return of Prince Aemond as he took Vhagar out to fly, but here you were.
Running with the only daughter of Queen Alicent.
When the two of you turned around the corner, you bumped into a firm chest that you did not see coming. An overbearing scent suddenly invades your nose as you fall back.
"Brother," you hear Helaena's voice tremble, and you immediately stand straight when you hear the word. It didn't matter which brother, you just bumped into a prince. It is known that Helaena's brothers weren't cruel enough to kill anyone that bumped into them, but they weren't exactly sweethearts either.
You had hoped that you wouldn't bump into Aemond since it would mean that he could rat you out to your family, to his family, and to the other dragonriders for sneaking out of duty. But, fate wasn't on your side when you recognized his hum.
"I see. Not appearing in the dragonpit to... entertain my sister? Neglecting your duties," Aemond says lowly, eyeing you. Helaena glanced at you nervously. You had your head down in a pitiful nod, praying to the gods that Aemond would not tell this to your family, most importantly, his. He analyzes the two of you, his eye snapping to the way your hands are still intertwined.
"I asked for her." Helaena defended, her hand retreating back, which made you furrow your eyebrows while leaning down. Aemond raised an eyebrow because of it and also because he swore this was one of the only times he heard his sister talk without encrypted prophecies. In amusement, he scoffs and smirks at his sister.
He chuckles at the both of you before shaking his head affirmatively, both of you and Helaena looking at each other in confusion. "No need for defenses, dear sister. Carry on, the both of you. Hopefully cautious enough to not get caught."
He turned his head to glance at his sister, then at you, before humming. You nodded swiftly at what he said. You catch the subtle rise of one side of his lip before he stomps away. The familiar smell of dragon remains in your nose.
Both you and Helaena looked at each other, finally able to breath after the tense situation. Thankfully, it seemed that her brother had been lenient today, not making you both suffer further consequences.
She nodded at you, not uttering a word, as you saw the way her face looked at you with worry. She thought that you'd head back to the dragonpit, leaving her, but you grabbed her hand in yours and continued running to the godswood.
When you did, she smiled and quickly followed your step. When you both arrived, it was empty. The princess landed on the ground of the godswood with a loud thump, your heart almost dropping because of the loudness of the hit. She smiled at you as she patted the ground beside her.
You return her small box of insect collections when you sit beside her. Internally grimacing when she opens it and you are once more greeted with the various insects crawling around, you feel your skin tingle at the sight.
"This is the new one, the one you bought." She mutters, leaning her head on your shoulder while letting one of the insects crawl up her hand. You watch intently as she watches the insect move around her palm. You were the one to bring the insect to her, so it didn't scare you as much as others. It was a random insect you picked up and kidnapped on your way back to the Red Keep after doing your duty at the dragonpit.
She studies the foreign insect, whispering information that she's gathering just now, and you just watch her. You didn't even know why you were watching her, not even what she was doing, but just literally, her. You watched with so much focus that you noticed the way she hardly used her eyes to express her emotions, her voice always in a monotone.
That's how she always was. Studying the insects while watching them without a care in the world. This was your entertainment. Seeing her occasionally break out in a dorky smile with her recent findings on your gift insect for her.
She talks to you every now and then, asking trivial questions while you agree and nod carelessly. The way her words were so eloquent and specific made you swoon. This was how you two spent time with each other. You bring her insects from the cave in the dragonpit, and her wanting to sneak you out from your duties to analyze the insects with you.
Your attention was snapped when she jolts and loudly closes the box. You hadn't noticed yourself falling a tad sleepy while leaning on the wood as you watched her. You thought she was just tired, but when she shoots up to stand, your eyes grow wide.
"Mother," she says lowly. The green dress of Alicent comes into view as you turn to look up at her.
Alicent looks at you in subtle disgust, memories from her childhood resurfacing as she takes Helaena by the wrist. The princess flinches at this. Alicent notices her flinch, making her hold soften slightly.
"Your grace." You bowed courteously.
"Y/N, you seem to be with my daughter again." She brings it up while watching you closely. Eyeing the light clothing that you wore as a dragonrider. Her head turns to her daughter, and she is met with her uneasy eyes.
The queen gulps ever so subtly, nodding at you. "Well, I hope you wouldn't mind me borrowing my daughter for a bit. You may go back to your place, to the dragonpit, where you should be... performing your duties and not neglecting it."
Helaena looks at you with worry, not liking the tone of her mother. You hear her try to reason with you, and you try to defend yourself, but Alicent has already left. Dragging the young princess with her.
"Have I not told you to stay away from Y/N?" The queen hisses, entering her daughter's chambers and locking the door behind her.
She glares angrily at Helaena, this being the third time she has caught her daughter disobeying her command and remaining with you. Helaena had her lips pursed. She refused to answer. Her eyes merely looked at her mother in a way that Alicent could not truly pinpoint.
The younger woman mutters something under her breath, too low for Alicent to hear. She watched as Helaena left her there and went near the window, sitting down quietly, blocking her mother from her mind.
Their relationship isn't the worst, but it's leaning towards it.
Alicent sighs heavily, "Helaena." She walks to her daughter, sitting by her side. All Alicent wanted was to keep Helaena on a nice path, not on the path she once took before.
"I know you are fond of Y/N, there is no crime in that,"
"If it is not a crime, why forbid me from seeing her?" The younger scoots farther from her mother, staring uneasily.
The queen holds her hand gently, looking at Helaena's eyes. "Because both of you are a 'her', Helaena." She purses her lips. "A mirror into the past; dragons and wood," Helaena whispers to her mother.
"Helaena, you have to listen to me. Both of you are beautiful young maidens. To be betrothed to strong and dignified princes and knights. You, even, are already betrothed, but you still go with that... dragonrider." Alicent holds her shoulders, "I'm doing this for you, dear daughter."
They look at each other in silence.
"Am I wrong, mother?"
You went back to the Red Keep as quickly as possible after you had finished your duty in the dragonpit. Getting only into mild trouble after your sibling had covered for you, stating that you had been feeling unwell.
Though your father had not been nice to you about failing to inform them of your absence, it was bearable. You had hoped for the same for Helaena.
Given that it is already dark and the handmaidens are retreating back to their chambers, and you excusing yourself to rest now, you had went to a different route.
Creating a distraction to get rid of the guards in front of Helaena's room, doing one of the many distractions that work for them, you had almost gotten in. That was until someone pulled you away from the door.
"Unless you want to be greeted by the face of the Lord Hand, and by extension, locked up. I suggest you think again about entering my sister's chambers."
#hotd#house of the dragons#helaena x reader fic#helaena targaryen#helaena targaryen imagine#helaena targaryen fluff#helaena targaryen x reader fluff#hotd season 1#hotd imagines#helaena fics#helaena targaryen fics
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lgbtq+ anime for pride month
decided to make this for anyone looking for new recommendations, or anyone who’s wanted to get into anime but doesn’t know where to start! all recs will include a summary, genres, applicable representation, and how accessible it is to people brand new to anime, as well as any major content warnings.
(a quick disclaimer for those new to anime - some series on here will NOT have explicit rep, but rather be heavily coded or have implied queer themes. however, these are included generally because the implication is strong enough to treat it as text, or because the series has been generally accepted as queer. i’ll be sure to clarify whether something is canon or coded in each entry.)
ouran high school host club (comedy, romance) summary: haruhi fujioka is an honor student on scholarship at the prestigious ouran academy, who’s only looking for a quiet place to study when he runs into the notorious host club. in his frantic attempt to leave, he accidentally breaks a vase valued at 8 million yen. club leader tamaki suou has an idea for how he can pay them back - working for the host club. rep: crossdressing/drag are staples of this series, nothing explicitly stated but there are definite themes of gender identity exploration, and the show doesn’t shy away from homosexual themes or ideas accessibility: newcomer friendly! the english dub of this series is notably good. content warnings: some 2000s-era language in regards to gay/trans people that may be seen as offensive today, one scene that implies intent of sexual assault (while there is no actual assault and it is quickly played off, it may still be upsetting to some viewers)
yuri!!! on ice (sports) summary: yuri katsuki is a professional figure skater, recovering from a crushing defeat at the grand prix final. he returns to his family home to debate what he plans to do for next season. he goes to the local ice rink to clear his mind, and shows his old friend there something he’s been practicing - his idol victor nikiforov’s latest world-winning routine. unbeknownst to yuri, he’s being filmed. the video goes viral, and before he knows it victor is standing right in front of him, offering to be his coach. rep: canon mlm romance accessibility: newcomer friendly! content warnings: a few scenes that briefly display anxiety/panic attack-like symptoms
given (drama, romance) summary: one day on his way to his favorite napping spot in school, ritsuka uenoyama finds a boy, mafuyu satou, dozing in his spot, clutching onto a guitar with rusted, broken strings. uenoyama wakes him up, berating him for not taking better care of his instrument. mafuyu, noticing his knowledge of the instrument, begs uenoyama to repair it and teach him to play. uenoyama initially refuses, but mafuyu is persistent, even following uenoyama to band practice. it’s not until uenoyama hears mafuyu sing that he changes his tune, offering lessons if he joins the band as their singer. rep: canon mlm romance accessibility: newcomer friendly! content warnings: discussions of grief and loss additional note: given also has a movie sequel, which has a scene involving sexual assault.
sweet blue flowers / aoi hana (romance, slice of life) summary: fumi manjoume and akira okudaira were best friends in elementary school, until fumi moved away. now in high school, fumi is back and attending the same school as akira once again. their relationship isn’t the same now, though. the two must navigate the new trials of high school while trying to revive their waning friendship. rep: canon wlw romance accessibility: newcomer friendly!
bloom into you / yagate kimi ni naru (drama, romance) summary: yuu koito has always dreamed of the sort of soft, heart-fluttering love in shoujo manga. when a boy finally confesses to her though she feels...empty. she begins to wonder if she only understands love conceptually, but cannot feel it. yuu is still mulling over how to respond to her suitor when she witnesses the student council president, touko nanami, turn down a love confession of her own. she decides to approach touko for advice, but then the unexepected happens - touko confesses to yuu. rep: canon wlw romance accessibility: newcomer friendly! content warnings: some mild sexual content, depictions of homophobia
stars align / hoshiai no sora (drama) summary: toma shinjou is desperate to recruit new members to the boys’ soft tennis club, which is on the verge of being disbanded due to poor performance. maki katsuragi, the new transfer student, immediately catches his interest due to his quick reflexes. toma persuades maki to join, and maki’s skill quickly becomes driving momentum for the entire team. through their shared sport, the boys of the soft tennis club explore their own capabilities and hardships as they navigate life. rep: canon nonbinary character, discussions of gender identity and sexuality accessibility: some prior knowledge of anime tropes and themes is desirable, but not necessary content warnings: discussions and depictions of abuse, bullying, and violence
mahou shoujo madoka magica (fantasy, psychological drama) summary: madoka kaname and sayaka miki are good friends, regular middle school girls with regular lives. one day, the mysterious homura akemi transfers into their class, and strange happenings begin occuring. they meet a strange cat-like creature known as kyuubey, injured and on the run from homura. as thanks for saving its life, kyuubey offers them a reward - he’ll grant any wish they desire, and in return they’ll become magical girls with the power to help others. homura, despite being a magical girl herself, discourages them, saying everything is not as it seems. rep: sapphic themes and implied romantic feelings accessibility: some prior knowledge of anime tropes and themes is desirable content warnings: blood, violence, major character death, unreality, grief additional note: madoka magica has 3 movie sequels, with a 4th on the way. while the first two are merely recaps of the series, the 3rd, rebellion, is a continuation of the story.
no. 6 (sci-fi, drama) summary: the world has been ravaged by war - the last safe haven of mankind lies in six walled-off city-states. shion is an elite resident of one such city-state, no. 6, given priority housing and treatment due to his exceptional abilities. one night, a fugitive by the name of nezumi sneaks into shion’s room, and threatens to kill him. despite knowing he’s a fugitive, shion instead tends to his wounds and shelters him for the night. when his transgression is discovered by the authorities, shion and his mother lose their elite status, and are relocated. now just a regular citizen, shion begins to discover a new side to the city he’s called home. years after their first meeting, he reunites with nezumi once more - their meeting putting in motion a series of events that will unveil the secrets of no. 6. rep: canon mlm romance, trans/nonbinary coded character accessibility: some prior knowledge of anime tropes and themes is desirable, but not necessary content warnings: blood, violence, major character death, body horror, insects (bees)
seraph of the end / owari no seraph (supernatural, action) summary: a virus ravages the human race, infecting and killing everyone above the age of 13. their food source now threatened, vampires come out of the shadows to take the remaining humans captive. the children of the hyakuya orphanage are among the survivors. yuuichirou detests the vampires, and is determined to escape. mikaela has hatched a plan to do just that. the hyakuya kids make their way to the exit of the vampire city, only to be ambushed by a vampire noble. yuuichirou is the only one to escape. he’s found by the japanese imperial demon army, who say they’ll use him against the vampires. believing the rest of the children dead, yuuichirou joins immediately, determined to seek revenge against the monsters who killed his only family. rep: implied romantic feelings between two men (in the manga the anime is based on this is canon, and the localization team views the relationship as romantic) accessibility: some prior knowledge of anime tropes and themes is desirable, but not necessary content warnings: blood, violence, death, body horror, unreality
banana fish (action, crime drama) summary: ash lynx is a runaway on the streets of nyc, taken in and raised by the godfather of the mafia, dino golzine. now the leader of his own gang, he begins investigating “banana fish” - the only two words his brother will speak after returning from the iraq war. ash meets his friend skip at a bar, where he’s shunichi ibe and eiji okumura, japanese photographers covering american gangs. however, their conversation is cut short, as dino’s men storm the bar and kidnap skip and eiji. ash sets out to rescue them and continue his investigation. rep: canon mlm romance accessibility: some prior knowledge of anime tropes and themes is desirable, but not necessary content warnings: blood, violence, major character death, drugs, homophobia, pedophilia, sexual assault, rape
wonder egg priority (fantasy, psychological drama) summary: after the suicide of koito nagase, ai ohto is left to grapple with reality without her best friend. under instructions of a mysterious entity, she purchases a wonder egg. ai breaks the egg in the world that materializes in her sleep, and is tasked with saving people. under the belief that she’ll be able to save koito, ai embarks on a journey where she must recognize the relationship between other people’s demons and her own. rep: canon trans characters, sapphic themes accessibility: some prior knowledge of anime tropes and themes is desirable content warnings: blood, violence, death, suicide, self-harm, transphobia, fatphobia, bullying, abuse, pedophilia, sexual assault, rape additional note: wonder egg priority has a special airing on june 30th, 2021, meant to wrap up the original series - as of writing this post, the series is technically incomplete.
flip flappers (fantasy, sci-fi) summary: cocona is an average middle schooler liing with her grandmother, no clear goals in mind for the future. she meets an odd girl, papika, who inites her to join the organization “flip flap”. cocona finds herself dragged along by papika into the world of pure illusion, a mysterious alternate dimension where papika searches for crystal shards. as cocona and papika explore pure illusion, they awaken to the power within the crystals, transforming into magical girls. they must learn to work together in order to unravel the mysteries of pure illusion, and their pasts. rep: sapphic themes and exploration of sexuality accessibility: some prior knowledge of anime tropes and themes is desirable content warnings: mild violence, unreality, mild sexual themes and nudity
noir (action, drama) summary: parisian assassin-for-hire mireille bouquet receives a strange email from kirika yuumara, a japanese student, who invites her to make “a pilgrimage to the past”. mireille makes to dismiss the email as nonsense, until it starts playing a song she recognizes from her youth. when the two meet in person, they’re ambushed by gun-wielding men. to mireille’s surprise, kirika is able to fend for herself - even more surprising, kirika has no memory of how she has such skills. the two of them team up to unravel the mysteries of their pasts, operating under the codename “noir”. rep: canon lesbian characters accessibility: some prior knowledge of anime tropes and themes is desirable, but not necessary content warnings: violence, death, implied rape and csa (not shown)
revolutionary girl utena / shoujo kakumei utena (fantasy, psychological drama) summary: after an encounter with a prince who comforted her after the death of her parents, utena tenjou is given a rose-crest ring, and a promise that they’ll meet again someday. however, utena has now committed to becoming a prince herself! after witnessing the abuse of fellow classmate anthy himemiya, utena is drawn into a dangerous game. duelists with rings matching her own battle for the ownership of anthy - the “rose bride”. utena decides she must free anthy from this fate. rep: canon sapphic characters, implied romance (in the movie sequel, this becomes canon) accessibility: prior knowledge of anime tropes and themes is necessary to fully enjoy this anime content warnings: unreality, violence, abuse, homophobia, pedophilia, incest, sexual assault, rape (for a comprehensive, spoiler-free breakdown of all potentially disturbing content, click here) additional note: the movie sequel, adolescence of utena, gives more explicit canon romance than the original series. however, the original series is considered an absolute classic must-watch for sapphics.
if anyone has questions about any series on here, feel free to ask! any other recommendations, feel free to tack on! (please include a summary, rep, accessibility, and any content warnings!)
#long post#i am. so sorry this is so long jdfskbngfd.#i'm not tagging everything on here if people find this post then they find it if not oh well-#also before anyone asks i didn't include legal streaming availability bc tbh it's too hard with different countries' availability#anime rec list#happy pride y'all
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I wanted to like Avengers Forever.
OK real talk: my desire to enjoy new Robbie content was fighting CLAWS TO JUGULAR against my hatred for anything Jason Aaron scrawls on a dozen post-it notes and mails to the artists a week past the deadline, and unfortunately for all Robbie fans, Jason Aaron continues to earn my scorn.
Avengers Forever follows Robbie Reyes and a new Deathlok on a multiversal adventure of vengeance and liberation. We meet exciting new characters like a Tony Stark who dove into miniaturization and insect pheremones instead of arc reactor technology, a Ben Grim who is imbued with the powers of the Infinity Stones, Red Skull with a Klyntar, Green Goblin who hunts Ghost Riders with the powers of Vengeance, inhabiting a desertified hell-world of autocratically-ruled walled cities and endless wastelands patrolled by robot cops and...crematory trains.
Yep. Crematory trains. Red Skull is a Nazi, and Nazis do that.
Let’s put aside the question of “is it perhaps in poor taste to explore a Mad Max version of the Holocaust that elides the antisemitism, racism, and homophobia that was central to the historical event and substitutes a more omnicidal political platform,” and instead ask the question, “what would it take to do Holocaust: Mad Max AU well?” To do it well, we would see heroes reacting with grief and horror to mass murder on an industrial scale, heroes bringing their wish-fulfillment might to the aid of those who in the historical context would have died, survivors struggling with their own grief and material needs in the aftermath of their rescue, and justice served against villains who represent those who may have escaped justice in reality. The writer must explore the logistics of liberating a train that is literally packed full of people, the dilemma of uncertain legal justice versus certain private revenge, the haze of plausible deniability maintained by those privileged enough to not be targets of the murderous regime, the suicidal sabotage efforts of slave laborers. Fortunately for the aspiring comics writer, there is a wealth of documentation about this historical event, and any hypothetical question that might be imagined can usually be answered by Wikipedia. Or the Holocaust Museum.
Back to Avengers Forever. Issue 1: Robbie demolishes dozens of robot cops and several murder-trains. Issue 2: Robbie is in prison being tortured by Red Skull. Issue 3: Robbie is broken out of prison by Ant Man Tony Stark and his band of plucky resistance fighters. Issue 4: Just when all seems to be lost, demigoddesses from another dimension arrive to plug a hole in space-time, and then they all go liberate Hell-World from Red Skull’s machines. Off-panel.
Somebody please mail this man a pipe bomb.
What’s missing here, you might ask, assuming that I am over-simplifying my summary. Surely there are “undesirables” rescued from their death sentence and now coming to terms with the prospect of survival, the ruin of the world, the fact that everyone they had ever known before their capture is dead, and that there are cities where people who could have looked them in the eye in another political system were living happy and ignorant at their expense. Surely there are families counting their dead. Surely there are miracles, rare bonds being reunited. Surely there is the logistical nightmare of providing food, water, and housing for an entire train of people that had carried no provisions whatsoever because everyone in it was intended to be murdered. Surely there are orphans, widows, bereaved parents longing for revenge. The human aftermath of this crime. We know what it looks like because it’s in thousands of history books and memories.
Nope!
We meet exactly zero people that our heroes supposedly save.
This is basic shit. I can’t believe this lazy motherfucker still has a job.
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Hiiii! Could you do V3 boys reacting to, or just headcanons, about being in a relationship with a male s/o whose family is homophobic? Thanks!
Ohhhhh i like this one TW: homophobia
Gonta
- Gonta doesn’t understand the concept of homophobia
- He barely understands the concept of sexuality
- Gonta know male insects often mate, and insect-in-laws don’t care so why is there a problem for humans?
- Well, most insects die before they become in-laws, but that’s beside the point.
- You aren’t out of the closet yet, so you ask him if it was okay that the both of you act like friends while your parents are over.
- Gonta is fine with this, as long as it’s only temporary, he doesn’t show too much PDA anyway, so it’s not too hard.
- Gonta does very well around your parents, he is on his best behavior to be the perfect gentleman.
- “This is my best friend, Gonta!”
- He talks mostly of his bugs, and shows your parents a few butterflies. It works as a great distraction and your parents are quite interested.
Kaito
- Is inexplicably angry
- And doesn’t hide it
- When meeting your parents, he loses himself and goes off on them
- He yells at them for a good ten minutes straight, before pulling you into a kiss to prove a point
- It’s both endearing, and utterly embarrassing
- These are your parents after all
- After, he apologizes, he was blinded by his anger and didn’t think of your thoughts or wishes at the time
- You both agree its best to just stay away from your parents
Ouma
- If you were in the closet, you’ll soon be out
- If you wanted discretion, you shouldn’t be dating Ouma
- He will meet your parents dress extra gay, just to spite them
- He will also act the extra stereotypical flamingly gay
- “Oh. MY. GOD. BABE! ~You are sooooooo CUTE today~”
- PDA turned up 1000%
- He will hold your hand, kiss you, grab your ass, just to make your parents uncomfortable
- They end up leaving early. They have…. An appointment
- Ouma is so proud of himself
- “serves them right
Shuichi
- He will do whatever you want or need of him
- He doesn’t like the idea of covering up your relationship, but at the same time, you don’t share too much PDA or are very public in general so it’s not a big deal.
- It’s more the principle of the situation that bothers him.
- He wont make a big deal though, he knows some people are just set in their ways.
- Even if their ways are wrong.
Korekiyo
- He tries to reason with your parents, in his own… twisted way
- He also brings up religion
- There are worse things than two men being together, liiikeee:
- Korekiyo please don’t
- Incest, bestiality, pedophilia, just to name a few!
- Really, Korekiyo, dear, please stop
- “Your bible doesn’t prohibit a man laying with their sibling’s child, but you draw the moral line at two men laying together. Well…” he goes on for a bit
- As if he is one to scold anyone on morals
- Your parents are honestly shocked into silence, how does one respond to that?
Hoshi
- He will just refuse to associate or even meet them.
- If you insist, he doesn’t talk much and just silent endures their nitpicking.
- Is open to hear you vent about them though, is very supportive of you
- Down to play the best friend if you are still in the closet
Kiibo
- Doesn’t get the concept of homophobia, but looks it up and decides he doesn’t really like your parents
- When they meet though, they are honestly more concerned that you are dating??? a?? robot???
- Kiibo doesn’t appreciate this prejudice against robots!
Amami
- Is very nonchalant
- He refuses to change anything about how he acts and won’t play the friend role
- If you are in the closet, he just won’t meet them.
- He is very firm in his beliefs and wont bend, but is still respectful, if not a bit passive aggressive to your parents.
- It’s mostly akward, but overall survivable. He isn’t as passive as Hoshi, nor as flamboyant as Ouma
- He just is himself, and if they have a problem with that, too bad
#mod rin#danganronpa v3#kiibo#shuichi saihara#kokichi ouma#rantaro amami#ryoma hoshi#korekiyo shinguji#kaito momota#gonta gokuhara#headcanon
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June 5th Queer Fear 2
[Image ID: The cover of Queer Fear 2 edited by Michael Rowe. It features two white men with shoulder length hair against a dark background, in chiaroscuro style with extreme contrast. One man stands in front of the other, looking back at him. Behind him the other man looks directly in front at the reader, his arm around the other. End ID.]
Why 2 and not 1? Well the openlibrary only had copies of 2 so I can't really say anything about the first since I haven't read it. Although I can only assume if you like 2 you would probably like 1?
Triggers
Rape and sexual assault, incest, racism, homophobia, ableism
Summary
An anthology of LGBT horror short stories, oftentimes featuring urban fantasy as well. Mostly features stories by and about gay and bi men.
Links
Openlibrary link - audiobook available
Review
So I really enjoy horror and short stories, so I was excited to find this while browsing the open library basically just trying to find anything gay. Once I finished it, I thought that it was a bit hit and miss, because like any anthology not every author or story is gonna click. But writing this and looking over the stories again, I think I enjoyed it more than I actually remember. Mostly I want to recommend it because I don't think this is something most people would stumble upon and I know a lot of people want to find representation in genre fiction like horror, sci fi, and fantasy.
Ultimately though, I wouldn't recommend it unless you're already a fan of horror or really like experimental writing, since a lot of the writing here is pretty unique like artGod, Oh Yes, My Eyes, and Freshets. But if you are I think there's a lot to like. This anthology is more focused on horror with gay characters rather than horror with gay themes, barring the occasional story like Gaytown and Numbers. Which was fine with me, that's what I wanted out of this collection honestly, a mix of both of those things.
Heed the triggers for this collection though and be warned a lot of them aren't handled well. I would particularly skip Digging Up Graves, On Being a Fetish, Want, Veggie Mountain, and Oh Yes, My Eyes.
The standouts for me were Bugcrush, Polyphemus' Cave, Night of the Werepuss (although it was more of a horror comedy), Numbers, Till Human Voices Wake Us, and One of the Boys.
More In Depth Triggers
Since this features a wide variety of stories and people are able to skip stories that could trigger them or simply don't interest them, here is a more detailed list of triggers by story. Homophobia is generally present in most stories.
Bugcrush - rape, characters are drugged, and insects
Polyphemus' Cave - rape and incest
Dead in the Water - use of alcohol
Delicious Monster - none that I remember from skimming through
Gaytown - Not sure how to phrase it but characters are pressured by a partner to come out of the closet, use of alcohol, transmisogyny
Digging Up Graves - mentions of slavery, racism, assault
artGod - none that I remember from skimming through
Black Shapes in a Darkened Room - Racism
Night of the Werepuss - There is a scene where a lesbian and a man almost sleep together
On Being a Fetish - necrophilia
I Stand Alone - none that I remember from skimming through
Numbers - none that I remember from skimming through
Want - racism, a character is drugged, assault, suicide
Oh Yes, My Eyes - self harm
One of the Boys - rape, a gay character is forced to sleep with a woman
Till Human Voices Wake Us - mentions of child death
Slice - none that I can remember skimming through
Veggie Mountain - ableism, mentions of necrophilia
Exit Wound - self harm, suicide
Freshets - none that I remember skimming through, although it is a very sexual story
Bayou de la Mere - religion
The Narrow World - rape, racism, ableism
#lgbt#lgbtq#pride month#bookblr#book rec#book recommendations#lgbt books#gay#bisexual#lgbt horror#horror#horror books#q slur
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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Captain America - All Media Types Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers Characters: James "Bucky" Barnes, Steve Rogers Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Reincarnation, Canon-Typical Violence, Vampire Steve Rogers, Vampire/Thrall, Blood Drinking, Dubious Consent, Past Internalized Homophobia Series: Part 2 of i see the crimson thief (hanging on heartstrings, dripping bleach)
Summary:
There are things he does remember.
A man asking him to dance, gold in his eyes and blood on his shoulders as he stalks forward in a dark alley. The same man, later, sliding close in a bar, touching, laughing, blue eyes turned on Bucky with the force of a thousand stars.
The same eyes peer up at him in his dreams, set on a much smaller man. Steve is a mountain, all wide shoulders and thick biceps and the strength to rend metal. Dream-Steve is a slip of a thing, with delicate wrists and sharp features and bones that push up against thin skin. He’s anything but fragile, Bucky thinks. He doesn’t remember enough to know, but he doesn’t think his guess is wrong.
He can’t have been strong enough, in the end. Because Steve ate Dream-Steve, swallowed him whole, and now he’s here, trying to swallow Bucky too.
Bucky lets him, every day. But Steve always spits him back out.
Maybe one day, he’ll join Dream-Steve in Steve’s belly.
- Belly of the beast.
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big list of some of my fave yt reviews/video essays/docs (pt. 1)
An American Tragedy: The Glee Project
The Mediocrities of A24
I Was in The Black Eyed Peas. Then I Quit
we still don't have a black disney princess movie...
The destructive migration of youtubers to onlyfans (cw for brief mention of cp)
Film Historian Reviews Black People in Horror Movies (cw for general horror movie violence, mentions of antiblack violence)
#OscarsSoWhite and The Legacy of Halle Berry
How the Language From the Sims Was Created
Fort Minor- Remember the Name (and the Curious Case of Nu Metal)
American Dragon Jake Long: Better Than You Remember
What ACTUALLY Made Singer Kelis Leave The Music Industry
let's revisit the fashion in the aladdin remake
The Tragic Horror of TRIANGLE (cw for blood, general horror movie violence)
No, Gillette Did Not Lose $8 Billion Because of a "Woke" Ad (cw for mentions of alt-right politics)
The Aesthetic of Evil (cw blood, horror movie violence, nazi imagery, familial/domestic abuse)
That Boy Ain't Right- A King of the Hill Video Essay
Cartoon Network's Failed Live Action Block
Lion King Two: A Painfully Deep Dive
My friend watches The Prince of Egypt for the FIRST time
Do You Remember Minute Men?
What Happened to The Craft Legacy? (cw for brief menstruation scene, brief scene with snakes/rodents/insects)
The Greek Tragedy of the "Poggers Face" Guy (cw for mentions of alt-right politics)
EVERYTHING CULTURALLY RIGHT AND WRONG WITH MULAN 1998
It Has Come To My Attention You Don't All Love BIRDS OF PREY
thoughts on gross movies (cw for blood, body horror, sexual assault, emetophobia/unsanitariness, etc.)
'Megan is Missing' is Not Real (cw for csa, grooming, violence against minors, sexual assault, drugging/kidnapping, murder, etc.)
Talent Belongs to the Beautiful- How Media Manipulates your Tastes
What Blue's Clues Really Taught Us
Proud Boys and Disney's Aladdin (cw for mentions of homophobia/alt-right politics)
Glee's Tina Cohen Chang- Character Analysis
How FAT ALBERT Made Me Cry (cw for death/cancer mention)
BLACK SWAN: The Horrors of Perfection (cw for blood, brief body horror)
A Monstress Comes of Age: Horror and Girlhood (cw for blood, horror movie violence, menstruation, and sexual assault)
Why We Need More Slavery Movies (cw for slavery/antiblack violence)
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Cause Though the Truth May Vary, This Ship Will Carry (Gigi/Nicky) - Campvanjie
AN: Based on the prompt: “You weren’t supposed to hear that.” - “Well, you shouldn’t be saying it then.” A slight AU Gigi/Nicky, little bit of unrequited crushing and a lot of fate, originally posted to my old AO3 account on May 24th, 2020. Edited as well to add non-binary pronouns for Gigi out of drag, as the original used male pronouns. Don’t worry, I’m the original author and only want all of my stories collected under one pen name.
Summary: Nicky and Gigi strike up a friendship online, but just can’t meet until the time’s exactly right.
CW: slight mentions of homophobia.
The sun’s almost setting on an August day when Gigi flicks through the games in their library, bored of sniping enemies from rooftops, set on finding something else that has a competitive mode, kicking underneath the bed to find their headset. It would probably be best to at least try to talk to other people, and maybe even count up all the times people call each other gay without even realizing they’re talking to someone, who’s made sixteen dollars an hour dressing up as a girl and working at the rock climbing wall for all of high school.
There’s gay, and then there’s Gigi Goode; with a closet hanging full of custom couture, not that they’d ever admit to their mom that her work isn’t the worst.
There’s only one player in the team’s group chat, as Gigi adjusts their headset so they can talk into the mic.
“Hello?”
“Hey.”
“Hi!”, laughs the voice in his headphones; crackling as Gigi shoots and blows apart a box in the game’s lobby. There’s an accent there he can’t quite place, not that it matters so much, since the guy on the other end easily guides him through the map and even cracks a couple of jokes as one of the other team’s players is booted off a cliff. Maybe he’s Spanish, or Russian, since there are lot of Russian people on the server at this time of almost- night.
They queue for another round, his player’s character stopping next to a poster of one of the girls in the game.
“I like her, do you?”, he asks, and Gigi cringes a little. Straight guys were fucking exhausting, but this was just embarrassing-
“Like, this coat, with the belt like this, makes her waist look like she is a wasp. The insect, not the white people.”, he keeps talking, and Gigi’s eyes widen a little.
“Yeah, I’d buy those boots.”, they joke, hoping that whoever it is, will take it in stride, and he won’t have to listen to someone who’d been cool for the past half an hour, suddenly start losing their mind over how gay that was to say out loud.
“The boots? I want this hair- I want just Mortal Kombat hair but like this color, and maybe instead of a gun I want the scepter, like Sailor Jupiter. You’ve seen that, yes?”
Gigi blinks a couple of times. He’s serious?
“Like, of course. Yeah.”
“She’s a Mugler bitch. Hm, aren’t you?”, the voice teases on the other end; kicking at one of the boxes in the game.
Gigi is silent, as their queue timer runs out, and their team join another game which is already active when they’re dropped in.
“It’s the Hermes winter collection.”
“What?”
“That jacket is a dupe from the Hermes winter collection. You said Mugler-”, Gigi repeats, blasting through a wall in the game.
“Oh- oh you’re saying- this past winter! Of course! Maybe someone on the design team is also a fan?”
“Maybe.”
The two of them finish the round, and Gigi eagerly hits yes; when a little box pops up to add TheNickyDoll to their friends list.
(Gigi adds him back on Discord, too- because they’re probably not taking the Xbox to college, and then, they can send pictures right away.
He’s not a serial killer, and he’s cute.
Gigi can’t help but wonder if Nicky thinks the same of them.)
They slowly knit together in between Gigi’s first semester, and when Nicky moves into a new apartment in the eleventh arrondissement in Paris, and pops a bottle of champagne against his camera on his phone, propped up in his new kitchen. He plays with the zipper on his hoodie, and Gigi still can’t help but be surprised with how simple his wardrobe is.
Gigi spends hours carefully curating their wardrobe, though they supposed in Europe, there were just better pickings.
“Don’t you have friends?”, Gigi jokes, shirtless against the white brick walls of their dorm.
“Everyone will be over later, but I just wanted to do a toast for your timezone. It will be like three am for you when everyone else gets off work.”
“So this is a private party? Well… okay let me get my card.”
“Seriously? Not that kind of party!”
“Didn’t say it was. Congratulations, by the way. I got you something! Well like, I found it, and it’s so you-“
Gigi flicks the camera to face forwards, swinging to a painting hanging in the closet.
“Aw, well you didn’t have to- what the fuck is that?”
“Putin! I painted him in like the eighth grade. My mom was dropping off some stuff last weekend and I can mail him-“
Nicky’s eyebrows shoot up, pots and pans clattering on the other end of the line.
“Bitch, I am trying to not be the victim of a hate crime.”
Gigi laughs a little bit, flipping the camera back to focus on their face.
“I never asked, what do you even do?”
“What?”
“Like you- you have a job right? What’s your job?”
“Ah, I’m working, well I worked at a makeup store, but now I have some contracts, and maybe, you know- this neighborhood is where all the bars and the clubs are. If there’s no work on the runways maybe some will be looking for new girls.”
Gigi’s cheeks run hot for a moment.
“Wait, you- you’re a girl?”, they ask weakly, hoping it won’t absolutely ruin their entire… whatever it is, when you’d rather have a private housewarming alone in bed, than pretend to enjoy the beers that are flowing through the rest of the hall downstairs.
“Only when I’m being paid. Do you know- well, you have to in America you have RuPaul’s show- it’s like that-“
“You do drag? Wait, really?”
“Shhhh.”, he stops them, pressing a finger between his lips. “It’s like, I haven’t got any bookings yet but some of the clubs are interested- some of the parties, too. I can be a bottle girl.”
Gigi simply blinks repeatedly in the screen.
“What- is that too gay? I thought we were both pretty gay.”
“Yeah. Yeah. Hey-“, Gigi keeps the camera on their face, their eyes flicking up towards the naked mannequin resting against the closet door. Most of Gigi’s things were still at home, but there was a black feathered swimsuit they’d been working on- if they took out the waist just a bit-
“What’s your favorite color?”
“Wow, we are getting deep in, Dr Phil.”
“Seriously, what is it?”
“I’m feeling pink recently. Usually just- something simple. Blue. Black. It’s soothing.”
“Black is not a color.”
“Then it’s my favorite not-color.” Nicky pours from the bottle into a flute on her counter. “Get something to drink, come on.”
“Uh-“
“Doesn’t matter what. Come on!”
Gigi reaches for Red Bull, yesterday’s alcohol mixed into it, tangy and stale in the metal can.
“Okay.”
“Pace a Salute!”, Nicky cheers, and they clink their drinks against the camera.
-
Two months later, there’s a wrapped package on his stoop, covered in foreign postage, wet at the edges like it’s been through- what Americans would call the ringer, the labels so scratched over he can barely make out the return address, when he cuts the cardboard open on his kitchen counter.
If this was that stupid Putin painting, he was deleting Gigi from his entire life-
Inside, is fabric folded in paper, a little cloth ribbon tied around where a card is tucked in.
“I dont know what your actual skin tone is because you need better lights but merry Christmas if it doesn’t fit or doesn’t match sell it on eBay and get better lights”,
Gigi has written, in neat, large letters.
Nicky carefully unfurls the rest of it, and there’s a blue and pink bodysuit inside, accented with green and yellow panels that glitter like the facets of a diamond, and a yellow jacket, the bottom cut off just below the ribs, hemmed in thick stitches so the fabric won’t roll up.
Had Gigi gone and had this made? Or was it off the rack?, he wondered, digging for price tags and labels in the fabric.
Nothing.
Shit.
He fires off a message to Gigi, who is still showing as offline, given it’s probably six in the morning where he is.
14:17
-
How much is this “gift” you got me? Wtf…
FaceTime me later.
There’s predictably no response, and that night; he paints carefully in the mirror in his bedroom, laying out the little black dress he had chosen for the performance on his bed.
At the very last minute though, it’s that little suit from Gigi that wins out, nude panels sliding over his tights as he shimmies in front of the mirror.
It’s not perfect, but it all looks very nice.
When later comes, Gigi is wearing a red wig with blonde streaks that she runs her long fingers through, winking at the camera.
“My mom’s actually a professional seamstress. It didn’t cost anything, babe.”, she says with a little shrug, a tight yellow dress barely moving around his shoulders. There’s always a party here; and Gigi can’t imagine hating it more, the little college town bigger than he was used to, and yet still- too small for what she really wanted.
“If you want other stuff, I’ll send it. There’s lots of stuff that I don’t really wear anymore and we kind of have the same style. It’s not like anyone can say anything, then they’d have to admit they’ve seen me out in public. Or I could even make you something, I’m bored all the time.”
“Why are you doing this?”, Nicky asks.
“I dunno. It’s not like you’re my competition. You’re my friend.”
19:41
-
Anyway, I’m dropping out of school, getting a nose job and moving out to LA.
Gigi types out on their phone, underneath the table at their family’s annual thanksgiving dinner.
19:41
-
Maybe not all at once.
Nicky’s reply comes lightning fast- making Gigi grin.
“Are you seriously getting nudes right now?”, one of their brothers asks, and their mother glares at the both of them over the table.
“I’m getting some new sketches from my atlier in Paris.”, they seethe, glancing back down at the floor. Nicky’s been trying to teach him French, like it’s something that occupies them so that Gigi doesn’t implode; in between sending him links to his favorite shows to watch, and YouTube links to makeup tutorials.
(He still hasn’t figured out if Nicky means it; or if he’s trying to be shady, and just doesn’t know how.)
“Atlier is where you get the clothes made, dumbass. Mom’s sewing room isn’t Paris.”
“Shut up!”
“All of you just stop-”
19:43
-
It’s a hard time in life in general.
Try not to listen so much to those voices in your head.
Nicky’s text pops up with a loud, mechanical pinging noise, three dots still hovering under the message as Gigi forces looks up from the screen and glowers across the table as they reach for more baby carrots.
19:43
-
Make mistakes, but not too many, haha. You’ll figure it out.
If it makes you feel a little bit better, I’m moving to San Fran
19:43
-
What? For real?
Gigi’s nails frantically tap over the screen.
19:45
-
Yes! I bought a ticket.
And my husband called an immigration lawyer, we’re going to get my green card situation set.
“Lawyer-”, Gigi gasps; and their entire family pauses, glancing over the table at them.
“Jesus Christ. You did it, didn’t you? You got arrested your first semester, and you weren’t even gonna tell us-”
“You weren’t supposed to hear that.”, they snap, flipping the bird at their oldest brother.
“Well, you shouldn’t be saying it then.”
Their whole table erupts in a discussion Gigi can’t pay any attention to.
19:50
-
Cool.
That means I get to see you soon.
It’s gonna be great.
They taps ou, and close the app with a smile.
-
They hadn’t known if Nicky even had a boyfriend, not that it mattered; until it did.
Apparently; he had been married, for almost the whole time they had known each other- a blow Gigi hadn’t quite expected, to leave them as breathless as landing in Los Angeles; the shock not setting in, not in full, anyway- until they are standing in a new apartment, looking down at a menu of instructions on how to set up the wifi in the unit, fingers hovering over everyone in contacts.
They can’t call their mom; not this soon, and their brothers would tell her, and the whole plan would crumble; just like everything had with Nicky; whose calls Gigi had declined for the past solid month; the nights they had spent with their phones propped up behind desks and dressing room mirrors fading into something beyond memory; that they refused to think about any more than they had to, the messages asking if they’re alright answered in curt, short replies.
How could they have been so stupid, thinking that they were talking-talking, teasing that Nicky and they were friends; when Gigi didn’t even know what his real name was.
(Unless it was Nicky?)
Shit.
Gigi waits for their phone to load into the app, and refreshes the friends list a couple of times, until they can see Nicky’s icon at the top, the side of the circle cut through with a little green dot, and taps twice to start a call.
“Hi?”
Nicky’s greeting floats in the air, between a breath and utter silence before Gigi swallows their pride, pressing the phone to the side of their face.
“What do you know about connecting a router to a tower if I live on the…um third floor?”
The line crackles, but soon there’s a tiny, familiar chuckle. “First of all, that is not how you do any of that-”
They talk a little more, every day; in between, Nicky moves to New York and Gigi cuts a tape that they put in the mail with a wink. They’re due for a visit home soon, and carefully proposes- maybe it’s time they meet Nicky. New York isn’t far at all, and a layover would make for a cheaper flight, anyway.
-
Their plans stack up in hours of calls; and Gigi think they’re almost back to normal. Until, three days before the flight is supposed to leave, there’s a call they had forgotten to wait for, and their fingers hover over the message box below Nicky’s name, vibrating with anxiety and excitement all at once.
09:22
-
Hey. I had a family thing come up.
Gigi types, and then erases the text, steeling themselves as they taps out another one that makes a little more sense, and doesn’t seem like such a lie.
09:30
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I’m so so so so sorry about this
I had some things come up and my trip fell through.
They send this instead, surprised to see Nicky start typing back immediately.
09:35
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You’re not going to believe this
I have some work things that started recently and so it would have been really shitty to have a guest over now.
09:35
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No way!
09:37
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Yeah. :(( But we’re gonna hang out someday, I swear!
09:37
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Dont worry! You’re definitely gonna see me.
Real real real soon!
-
“-Where do I go?”, Gigi asks, pulling at the bottom hem of the ornate jacket she wore, fiddling with the gold telescope in her hands. The lights behind the set burned brightly, making the thicker bottoms of the outfit feel much warmer than he had remembered them being.
“Go to that green square on the ground, and wait there, when you see the little arrow light up, you can enter the Werk Room and then we’ll have you stop inside, get your opening line, and let you see the other girls.”
“Okay.”
He does as he’s told, prancing in and kicking his boots in front of him as the lights move to capture Gigi’s entrance, his head only snapping to the side when given the signal, so he can see the others who are already crowded around the pink tables he’s only dreamed of seeing for so long.
“Holy Shit…Nicky?!”
In reality; Gigi can see far more of the detail of Nicky’s face; of her eyebrows and carefully painted cheeks and lashes, of all the effort that they had only really talked about, his eternal summer tan and the long fringe of black hair that he’s always nudging across his forehead, or slicked against a beanie, gone behind a platinum blonde veneer that’s so much brighter than Gigi has ever seen. She’s thinner, and taller, careful breaths underneath sequinned shoulder pads, knees knocking together as she gasps.
“Gigi!”
Widow and Crystal glance at each other over the pink table.
“Hold up, you guys know each other?”
In the flesh; Gigi is impossibly small, the sharp angles of her face, and the dark brown hair that sticks up in angles which Nicky traces against the white of his pillows in his bedroom on the screen of his phone in the morning, taped underneath a gold-tipped pirate hat, and lush, wavy curls. She looks like a model on the runways where Nicky used to work; so close to him that he can feel Gigi’s breath on the back of his hand, as he tightens his grip around the epaulets on her shoulder.
“Gigi Goode.”, she repeats, and Gigi giggles a little at that.
“The Nicky Doll.”, she laughs, and her voice sounds so much more solid, than it ever has over every crossed wire.
Gigi’s hand swings, squeezing Nicky’s tightly as they swing around the table; like the others who are there don’t matter at all. She rests her head on Nicky’s padded shoulder, cocking it just slightly, waiting there, as Crystal’s eyes flash at the scene before them.
“…and may the best woman win.”, Gigi whispers, only for Nicky to hear.
#rpdr fanfiction#nicky doll#gigi goode#gigi x nicky#pre-ship#fluff#online friends au#s12#on set fic#queen au#campvanjie#concrit welcome
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hey if I post another scene from that fic ❤️ no I didn’t ok
tw homophobia + choking? He can’t breathe and is hallucinating his dead father it’s kinda wack but not too explicit in my book, just be careful and stay safe kings queens gays and theys
Consciousness returned to Rupert in steady waves similar to that of a gentle tide lapping at the beach. His back was to the soft earth; it was cool and moist and all encompassing. Soft, filtered rays or sunlight fell across his freckles and collarbone; it was warm and inviting. All around him the harmony of insects chirping and birds singing hit a sickenly sweet crescendo that’s flirted with the edge of painfully loud. It buzzed in his ears, it rattled his bones, it surged within him and around him and called to him. Rupert’s eyes were thrust open- he was awake; he sat upright.
“I have to say, boy, I’m rather disappointed.” Rupert’s father sat across from him, legs crossed, as he thoughtfully considered the black rook in his hand. He rolled it between the pad of his wooden forefinger and kindling thumb, before placing it down on the board separating them, annihilating the white pawn closest to Rupert.
His whole being was one with the forest; his arms were branches and his beard flowered into a bush of vine. Both his eyes were polished circles of root; his hair was soft moss. Bark wrapped around his rusted armor, covering the western insignia.
Rupert’s mouth felt as though it was stuffed with cotton.
“Not only do you ruin a foolproof prophecy, but you’re also a lousy chess player,” he grumbled, “Though, it’s not much your fault, is it? Lavinia couldn’t teach a cow to stand even if her life depended on it.”
His lifeless eyes bore into Rupert, anticipating his next move, but his mind remained foggy. He held a hand to his throat; there was nothing there, yet a constricting feeling that only felt tighter and tighter held his breathe hostage.
“I bet you felt like this right before that eastern boy almost took your head, no?” His father leaned in close, “Getting awful hard to breathe in there, isn’t it.”
Rupert began choking as dirt filled his mouth, as he coughed little bits of root began falling out. His eyes bulged; yet, not a single root shifted on his father’s face.
“H- hell- ugh- p-“ Rupert gasped through small pebbles and wet earth. Spots danced in the corner of his eyes.
Emotionless face in an emotionless form. Not a single leaf moved, until-
“Ha!” The deteriorating spirit of the western king laughed, “Why would I help a little fairy traitor, huh? Face it, Rupert- you’re a lousy heir and a lousy hero. You and your friends- if that’s what you wish to call them- don’t have a dragon’s tale in the underworld at escaping this wretched false reality.”
Rupert began shaking as the external force began crushing him; tears wet his eyes from strain he didn’t know he was under. The words his father spit were barbs in another form- driving deeper and deeper into the skin of his mind until it bled. Laughter echoed in the forest, tearing into Rupert and leaving him breathless. A harsh, mocking wind froze the tears on his face, blown of all the oxygen he couldn’t breathe.
“Face it, Rupert,” Alexander said, “You’ll perish here along with every other abomination.”
His eyes snapped open. The Western King had vanished in his struggle, yet the chess board remained. The Hollow- or the UnHollow, as it seemed- had sunk into nightfall; a cool breeze sent a shiver down his spine. The echoing words of Alexander reverberated against the trunks and branches of the surrounding trees.
Within the outer struggle comparable to an ocean, a calm, glass-like peace blossomed inside Rupert.
This wasn’t real.
His hands shook as he reached forward towards the board; each shift took acute strength, each movement broke one thousand branches. Deathly silence replaced antagonistic laugher. His fingers felt severe, all- encompassing agony as he tentatively grasped the closest white piece and pushed it forward.
The white pawn took the rook, and Rupert awoke a second time, now completely alone.
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Hey! Could I get to know some of your headcanons about dickfigures/your designs for them? :D
ya ya sure!!!!
i already have my designs for them up if you havent seen, here they are!
as for headcanons idk how long this post will be so ill just add a read more for anyone who might not wanna scroll thru it all lol
red!!!!!
his real name is rowan bc i thought it was cute, also it means “little red one” which is eVEN BETTER
he’s nonbinary masc and bisexual! the self projection is REAL
he has adhd
most of my headcanons kinda flow into my own version of dick figures because i’m not very Satisfied with canon NJSJDNSKM so like. for example red doesn’t just kill people or whatever. he gets into fights and has scars and wears bandaids a lot bc of them
he graduated college with blue, he got a bachelor’s degree in fine arts (honestly idk how college works bc im a grade 10 baby so if thats like totally wrong just let me know also im. canadian so idk how american school system works LOL)
red got suspended a lot in high school but never expelled. mostly bc he got in fights that were mainly him protecting stacey from shitty people (he sees her as his sister so he was rlly protective) and the school wasnt really sure what else to do so they just. you know. suspended him a bunch of times hoping itd do something but it didnt
he hates his dad! reason being is bc when he was born, his dad was actually an alien able to disguise himself as human, so he wanted to take red back to his home planet cuz red turned out to be more powerful than anything his dad had ever seen. but red’s mom was like Nope, so she snuck out with him and his plush cat (kitty amazing) and they were never found. red is very close with his mom and is scared of his dad coming back someday
we know he canonically likes rlly loud music so im just gonna project here and say he’s a metalhead. at least, some form of it. he likes the alt scene music and industrial rock. examples being deftones, nine inch nails, skinny puppy, rage against the machine, kittie and others. it keeps him focused and calm
bLUE!!!
we know blue was bullied as a kid but i dont wanna say red also bullied him bc i feel like thats just wrong to me? MAYBE ITS NOT ACTUALLY but it just makes me sad so like. lets say red, being as protective as he is, stood up for blue a lot cuz he was like “oh this kid cant fight” so he knew what to do
blue dated pink for awhile but they mutually agreed to break up after blue realized this wasnt what he wanted (he came to the conclusion that he was gay, well, he knew for awhile but it was Internalized Homophobia)
he grew up in a very conservative family so to see the world completely differently by meeting red, ems (lt), pink and stacey was a very good thing for him. unfortunately even tho his family did love him, it was conditional so they stopped talking to him after he came out. thankfully he’d already graduated high school by that point
despite being emotional blue isn’t very good at understanding how he’s an emotional person. he’s able to distinct one feeling from another and analyze them, but it’s just... hard for him to kind of. process WHY he feels a certain way? which is what’s led to a lot of his struggles in getting closer with ppl
he loooves reading and writing we already know this but i mean come on. he also got a bachelor’s degree in english/ela. so he’s able to become a teacher ig but he doesn’t really want to? at least not for awhile yet
blue was ems’ first friend. at first he couldn’t understand why they had tics but decided he shouldn’t get into someone else’s business. he didn’t find it weird, just cool!
he and red would always pair up for projects if they had classes together!!!!!! blue would do the writing/research and red would do the illustrations. they always turned out really good even if it ended with red cramming it at the last minute
surprisingly hates broseph more than red. well i mean its not surprising, because broseph was always a huge DICK to him
blue’s real name is wyatt!!!!! i forget the meaning but i felt the sound of it and the meaning fit him well
piiiiink!!!!!!!!!!
she’s still in college, getting her doctorate to be an astrophysicist!
pink is very very smart and will help anyone who’s struggling with something in school. she was basically the genius who always got in the honor roll every year. but, she actually was really anxious especially with exams
pink encourages stacey to go back to school, and sometimes stacey does, but she always ends up leaving again. it’s a little stressful but pink has hope for her
she’s never drank one sip of alcohol in her entire life. she smoked weed once, but it felt weird so she didn’t do it again
ever since she and blue broke up she’s been very supportive of him bc she herself is bisexual!!! so she sees nothing weird about it. in fact, about almost a year later she started dating stacey
pink’s real name is lily. when she became friends with blue she met red through him and she was like “can i join your nickname thing” and they said “sure” so they called her pink. stacey sometimes calls her pinky or just pink but mostly lily
pink helped red with academics. even tho he was sometimes insufferable to work with (/j thats a Joke i promise she’s a very patient person) she didn’t give up on him!!!! in return he helped her out with some fitness stuff cuz pink was always insecure about gym, and later when she graduated she actually got into exercising bc of red!
she loves travelling and going for walks. she owns a lot of houseplants and she’s given them all names and takes very good care of them! she also owns an albino ball python named Velvet
STACEYYY!!!!!!!
stacey is nOT actually all about sex this time ok. i don’t like that. i mean she did have some personality in canon but it wasn’t much? anyways she just really likes to express herself thru tight/”risque” clothing like fishnets and leather and pleated skirts and thigh-highs and platform boots, all of that. basically she’s a goth girl but doesn’t really “act” like one
she’s really intelligent when it comes to animals and insects and will tell you anything you need to know. when she goes back to college she gets a degree in environmental science
stacey can play the electric and bass guitars!!!! she was in a band back in high school but it never really went anywhere beyond performances at parties in someone’s garage. not that she didn’t like it, looking back on it makes her feel happy, but she wished it continued. probably why she has a hard time going back to college bc she’s not sure what she really wants
stacey is a trans woman btw!!!!! unfortunately it was a little difficult in high school to be who she was bc some kids were jerks, but there were a lot of others who supported her which is good
she views red as her brother as well and they still hang out a lot
i haven’t really had time to focus on stacey and make headcanons and stuff for her so i don’t have a lot but... let’s say, secretly, she’s a scifi nerd. and for the sake of debate, let’s say she’s a marvel fan. if you count being a fan of deadpool as being a fan of marvel
LOVES GIRLS.... loves pink!!!
has very similar music taste to red’s!!!!!
emssss!!!!!!! (lt)
instead of being a stereotype of ppl with tourette’s syndrome, it’s just a normal thing that isn’t focused on a whole lot. it doesn’t make ems swear but if they get really really frustrated they’ll curse while doing one of their tics
ems is agender, i’d say they’re also ageless but i don’t really want to make them too “nonhuman” because i feel like that’s dehumanizing to people with tourette’s. so let’s just say most laws of existence don’t apply to them
they’re very friendly!
they’re an aspiring musician, just like in canon
ems is also big into horror movies believe it or not. they’re pretty critical of them though like most horror movie fans, and only like specific ones (i’m not a horror movie fan myself so i can’t say what Specific Ones they like ajsdhbjn just imagine they have good taste okay)
they r very artsy too and like doing crafts cause it gives them something to focus on. it’s just a hobby though it’s not something they’re Professional at
they love nature and flowers and trees and all kinds of plants and animals!!! they like to document what they see when they travel thru nature and stuff so they bring a camera with them (and their phone, but, you know whatever)
ems was never really affected by things people said to them regarding their syndrome. to them it was something they were born with, so they couldn’t bother to feel bad about themselves. in certain situations theyre able to control it but 90% of the time they don’t care about what ppl think
aaaand there u go!!! as for minor characters like raccoon, jason/trollz0r, broseph, dingleberry, they all exist (raccoon isnt a racist stereotype tho), i just dont focus on them a whole lot. most of my hcs for stacey and ems here were thought up on the spot since i havent had time to lay out all my ideas for them but i hope what i have here is good !!!!
also, red and blue ARE dating, and pink and stacey ARE ALSO dating. gay rights
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yata have a family member (not his mom, maybe a mean cousin or aunt) who does not approve his relationship with saruhiko, (maybe homophobia or do not like saru and think he's mean etc) so saru teases this person to make them angry by making innuendo jokes or being touchy feeling on misaki?
Somehow I feel like Fushimi is just enough of a little shit to do this XD Like at first maybe he would be insecure about it, at least when he’s introduced to Yata’s parents as Yata’s boyfriend instead of his best friend, worrying that they might be upset about this and then Yata will start to think twice about whether he wants to be with Fushimi or not. But then Yata’s mom is of course super supportive because she probably knew they’ve had crushes on each other since middle school and Yata’s stepdad congratulates them and Yata’s siblings are already asking if they’re going to get married because then that makes Saruhiko their official brother right (and Yata’s like wait I’m your brother and Minoru and Megumi are like yeah but Saru’s cool). Once they’re over that hurdle Fushimi probably feels better about it, not that he’d admit he was worried anyway – afterward Yata’s nudging him like see told you it wouldn’t be so bad and Fushimi’s all weren’t you the one panicking about it and telling me to be on my best behavior. Fushimi personally would probably have a bit of harder time grasping why it was important to Yata that his mom accept them, since Fushimi couldn’t give a fuck what his mom thinks about this and he never intends to tell her anyway because that would require them to actually talk, but secretly he might admit that he felt a bit of a nervous flutter himself in that pause between when they told Yata’s parents and when Yata’s mom congratulated them.
So then one day they stop by to visit Yata’s family for dinner and it happens that like one of Yata’s aunts on his dad’s side is visiting with her kids, Yata’s kinda like ugh because he never liked them much. He figures at least he’s got Fushimi with him so he won’t have to make small talk with them, but then when Yata’s mom introduces Fushimi as ‘Misaki’s boyfriend’ the aunt gets this look on her face like she just saw a particularly loathsome insect. Yata doesn’t even seem to notice but Fushimi does, a bit later he’s going to get a drink from the kitchen when he overhears Yata’s aunt gossiping with her kids about how disgusting it is that Yata’s turned out to be gay and clearly being raised just by his mom for a while must have warped him. Fushimi doesn’t mind when people say nasty things about him but he does not stand for anyone insulting Misaki (and he’s more annoyed than he expected by overhearing someone badmouthing Yata’s mom too, because she was probably the first adult who ever seemed to give a shit about him too and she’s always been kind to him from the start). Fushimi doesn’t go confront them though, he just goes back to meet with Yata in the living room and acts like nothing happened.
Eventually everyone sits down for dinner and Yata is probably highly confused when Fushimi kisses his cheek before they sit down and then calls him honey and asks if Yata would get him a drink. Yata’s surprised by how affectionate Fushimi’s being all of a sudden (and probably wondering if Fushimi grabbed like the wrong bottle from the fridge when he went to get water earlier). As soon as Yata brings him his drink Fushimi gives him a nice deep kiss on the lips, Yata’s half insensible afterward as Fushimi runs a thumb over Yata’s chin and is like 'thanks.’ Yata coughs and stutters as he tries to sit down, Fushimi leans super close against his shoulder and is like you didn’t put much meat on my plate Misaki, you know I can fit something bigger than that in my mouth. Yata almost chokes on his water and Fushimi wonders if he needs to give Yata mouth to mouth, pressing super close again in a personal space violation that Munakata would be proud of. Meanwhile through all of this Yata’s aunt is staring in open disgust and horror, Yata’s mom notices and she gets this grin because she never liked shitty aunt either and she’s kinda figured out exactly what Fushimi’s doing. The aunt probably only lasts about halfway through dinner before she can’t take it anymore and grabs her kids and storms out, as soon as she’s gone Yata’s parents and siblings all start laughing and telling Fushimi how great that was, like did you see her face, and Yata is totally confused because wait what just happened.
#sarumi#Talking K#I like the idea that part of the reason this annoys Fushimi is he knows how important his family's acceptance is to Yata#and here's this asshole lady who wants to make him feel bad about that#Fushimi knows Yata felt like he didn't belong with his family and Fushimi doesn't want Yata to feel that way ever again#so he pretty much summons all his smug asshole powers and starts flirting shamelessly and it's glorious#Minoru and Megumi nudging each other and trying not to giggle each time Fushimi calls Yata 'sweetie'#sarumi says gay rights no homphobic relatives allowed in this house
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