#homestuck shitposts

[lainska]

for eel?

[sunnysatori]

homestuck text posts 14: im running out of funny captions for these

[sillypuppybarks]

Gamzee licks his pawpads (hands) as a stim because he's gotten so used to licking them from the sopor it's like second nature to him. Karkat thinks it's weird, but Gamzee hands are surprisingly clean because of it, to him Gamzee atleast

[earth-itself]

The strilondes are commonly headcanoned as jewish. Rosh Hashana, the Jewish New Year, marks the passage of time. Apples are a customary food to eat during it. Dave is a Time player and a big fan of apple juice. Therefore, Dave Strider is actually the Jewish holiday Rosh Hashana. In this essay, I will-

[darks-arts]

[cyberpunkboytoy]

So there's the idea of "kitchen table poly," AKA "everyone in the polycule needs to be able to sit at a kitchen table together and get along like friends."

One of my roommates just came up with a counter idea, which is "poker table poly." Everyone in the polycule must be enemies. No one is allowed to get too chummy or they're kicked out. They all also likely owe eachother money.

[8aeddel-vriska]

via CNN: "In a surprise move by the infamous Detroit rap duo, record company Psychopathic Records announced today that the two would begin their official run for the White House, not as President or Vice President, but as the first dual-Presidency ever. [...] CNN investigation found that this announcement coincided with a multi-million dollar campaign donation from the Betty Crocker Corporation, who has declined to comment at this time."

Has anyone else seen this? I feel like I'm going insane.

[omoulo]

average day on the prospit battleship

[abbylikestodraw]

Chat is this anything?

Parody of @ronaldreagancutupwhilefrotting post , which itself is an edit of a comic from drawerofdrawings. (DeviantArt link)

TOLD ya I'll draw it! Hahaha, I just had to get my dirty hands on my oooooooold tablet. (Drawing with fingers is hard)

oh my gawd, i can't belive the fist thing i do when i boot my dormant tablet for 1 year is a dirkjake homestuck shitpost good lord help me, i couldn't stop myself from laughin when making this

[punkitt-is-here]

idk about webcomics but vriska is a banger name i might steal it

tis a powerful name......but power comes with a price.....never take without knowing the consequences, traveler

[rayrayrazorfang]

I JUST MADE AN ABSOLUTELY HORRID YET HILARIOUS REALIZATION.

THE SUNGLASSES.

THEYRE BECOMING REAL.

[pastacrylic]

im going to throw up

[sunnysatori]

homestuck textposts 16 ft. that same sprite of dave i keep using bc i just think it's cute

[sillypuppybarks]

Do y'all think Gamzee would chew on plastic or cardboard like cats do. Or really any of the Trolls actually. Nepeta definitely would I think.

[allergic-to-fruits]

a young streamer sits in his desk.

[neoanedotheart]

Lazy thing i wanted to do!!! they're just silly :3

I think dave is a pretty princess and John is awkward

I'll be yapping below

I believe that Dave texts John right after he gets his ass handed to him DAILY. It usually plays out like this where they banter and Dave never really goes through the extent of explaining what thoroughly happens to him so John lives in forever ignorant bliss. And this leads Dave to feel like there's more of disconnect because he first of all doesn't really know how to articulate his feelings and second abuse doesn't seem like abuse to the victim. So he goes about everyday unknowingly yearning to be saved by someone greater than him, which is why I put the snow white reference at the end hehe.

Snow white as a fairy tale is extremely cliche, you got the prince in shining armor showing up conveniently on a horse and saving the girl. There's always this hierarchy placed upon the story where the damsel in distress is saved by a man, that man being portrayed as a greater being.

And with John taking place as the prince in this context paints him as this greater being. And I feel like a part of Dave envies and despises John for being this way, for being "perfect" or in a way. Greater than him.

The thing is in the original snow white story she's unconscious, that's undesirable. But it adds to the desperation of wanting to be saved, shining a better looking light on a person who isn't really there for reasons you want them to be. However John is a sincere person, it's more so the lack of communication or true understanding of one another that leads to this rift, this belief that John isn't there for Dave because he loves him, but because he's his friend and it's John's duty as a friend to save him. Which also brings me to the last line where Dave never corrects himself, and how he insinuates that he'll be unconscious due to being placed in a glass coffin much like snow white was when she was poisoned. He's at this stage where he doesn't want to be saved by an outer source, a greater person than him. He wants to be saved by himself he wants to prove worthy, but then conflicting within his mind is also this idea he isn't good enough to. We all know that Dave believes he isn't a hero and explicitly states John is the hero multiple times throughout homestuck. So he stays waiting.

John however, refers to Dave as Cinderella, Cinderella gets abused and put through plenty of torture from her step sisters and is saved through marriage of some person she just met. There's still this base line of being saved by man however there's this more mutual understanding of what they're getting into, a similar yearn for one another. Though he never caught her name he was still willing to find her, the real her. Which is John in this case, he probably understands he's missing something in the big picture but can never find out what and the best he can do is hope that the other half still held on to what they once were and was willing to share.

This is a pre-sburb interaction btw they're just unknowingly foreshadowing a shit ton.

Sorry if there's like bad shitty writing in here, I'm rambling and it's like almost midnight hehe