#holy christ they are buff here

[symbolicdecree]

And Yet Another Pre-WCW Sting (and Pre-WWF Ultimate Warrior) Throwback During Their Time in Power Team USA

And some more...

Those Gold's Gym tank tops are being stretched the fuck out. Wow!

[sandyseagullsip]

Universe thingy (title in progress i guess)

Hi lol.

Part 2

CW: gunfire: you know, regular cod stuff

Indulge me; imagine this.

You had finally gotten home from a long day of work. Bitchy coworkers, upset clients, stupid issues that should've been fixed already, --- needless to say, you were stressed out. What better way to wind down than playing one of your favorite games, hm?

You boot up your console, searching through your game library in hopes of finding something that could distract you. Eventually, you decide on the Call of Duty Modern Warfare games (the new ones). The campaign is good, the characters are great, it should get you out of the frazzled, careworn mindset you've been in all day.

Oh. Boy, were you wrong.

You select your game, and your vision goes white. Your first thought was, 'did this job finally give me an aneurysm?' Your hearing had disappeared too, yet it was the first sense to come back.

Gunfire.

When you could finally see, you were no longer on your sofa wallowing in sorrow; you were in a fucking warzone. Not that you were prepared for this clothing wise, in your hoodie and sweatpants.

The only thing you manage to get out is,

"Holy fucking SHIT-!"

And you start running. And running. It's dark, but you keep going. And the first shelter you see is a downed helicopter.

You're about to go in when you hear a voice you know: "Get your gun on that tree line."

Ghost. One of your favorite characters. But now you know you shouldn't attempt to enter. On the other hand, you need to. You'll wind up shot if you don't. So, you slowly start to get in. (ha, you thought they wouldn't notice?)

And now three guns are aimed at you: an Alpha soldier, Ghost, and Soap. You know this mission like the back of your hand. You could help them. But your fight or flight turned instead to freeze, both hands up to signal that you were no harm to them.

"A fuckin' civilian?" Ghost mumbled, followed by Soap's "Steamin' Jesus..."

"Th' fuck are you doing here?" Ghost questions, staring you down, still aiming his gun at you.

"I don't-- I don't know?" You manage to get out. This big man with a skull mask and his buff Scottish friend are both aiming guns at you. Sure, they are the good guys, but they still will probably shoot you.

"I can help you!" You yell out quickly. Jesus Christ, why did I-

"Shut up." Soap loudly whispers at you. "But how cannae y' help us? Why should we trust you?"

"I know what happens. Trust me."

They both look at each other, confused and slightly angered.

"Better no' be a fuckin' spy, or I'll shoo' you myself." Ghost mumbles, grabbing you by the wrists.

"We cannae jus-"

"Might give us a shot a' Hassan."

Ghost gestures for you to stay down, as he aims his gun out the helicopter window. And lucky (not really) you, there's a gun on the floor! As the AQ fighters pour in you decide to test your luck with a gun.

Long story short,

You were just a simple retail worker, how were you supposed to know how harshly the gun would recoil? You also got a souvenir from the ordeal (you got shot in the arm).

The men did not like your pain tolerance (may have complained too many times), but you got through it all, even the snipers on the roof.

But as you approached that area and told them there would be snipers, they didn't believe you. You can't tell them they're in a video game you've played too many times to even count, so 'trust me' is the only thing you can say.

This earned you looks from the entirety of the Bravo team, which made you realize that, shit, you probably will be interrogated later.

Eventually, you made it to the warehouse. Soap walked up next to you, looking down at you.

"Now whats in this one?" He asked sarcastically. This might be something he should find out on his own, you thought. But you said it anyway. Shit.

"Enemies. and uh- anamericanmissile." You say quickly hoping he doesn't notice. But this causes him to go into the warehouse faster than you could think.

Once all the enemies were KIA, you brought them to the missile container. He presses a button causing the team to see the launcher and the American flag on the side.

"We found a weapons cache. Hassan's got missiles... they're American." Ghost said into his radio. "And you," He points, "I've got someone who's gonna have a bloody lovely talk with you later."

Ghost handcuffs your wrists, handing you off to have Soap bring you to exfil.

Shit.

-------

AAAAA

[starkid256]

hotdiggedydemons homestuck drawings are something else, man. they parallel butch hartmans drawings.

so, starting out with the alpha kids...

oh god. just, jesus christ.

jane looks great honestly. shes the only one here who looks realistically correct.

but. WHY IS ROXY PALE. AND HUNCHED OVER. AND HAS AN EXPOSED NIPPLE. like. my man.

why is jake so buff? he is 15 years old.

but dirk. oh my god dirk. i swear to god he looks like he came straight from the loud house or spongebob. why is he tan, why is he so lips, and why does he have a gyatt

then... the trolls...

holy shit where do i start with this one.

aradia is too curved. why does tavros look like that. WHY IS SOLLUX SO TALL. why is karkat so short. why is nepeta so TINY. why does kanaya look so... grotesque. why is terezi not blind and slim. where did vriskas glasses go. WHY IS EQUIUS SO HUGE. why is gamzee. like that. and why do eridan and feferi look the same?

then the beta kids.

jade is... thats not what her hair looks like. john does not have spiky hair. why is dave so, slim. and what the fuck is up with roses head???

heres the worst part. this one isnt even homestuck related, but its still drawn by him and is INCREDIBLY APPALING.

...

i have no words

______________

all in all its not like i hate him for this. he just got the designs a bit fucked up and frankly its more funny than anything. sorry for the hate, i just thought it was a bit goofy.

[thequietmanno1]

Thelreads, MHA 279, Replies Part 2

1) “HEEEY- I SEE KENDO THERE, I DIDN’T EVEN NOTICE SHE WAS WITH THIS GROUP AS WELL”- Her Quirk might just make her hands big, but it should really buff up her biceps as well, cause damm, that girl’s literally pulling her own weight with the other two musclebound dudes. 2) “Oh ho- I don’t think Toga is taking well this attempt to give Machia a healthy mean. I think she’s gonna snap even harder than she already did

well, considering that Twice (bless his soul) died like, less than ten minutes ago in universe, I think she hasn’t even recovered from the previous snap”- Toga’s almost certainly looking for Uraraka and Deku amongst them, as the closest thing she’s got to a ‘friendly’ face amidst the enemy side that took her good friend from her. It’s probably a good thing for them that neither of them are anywhere close to Toga, cause her crazy side just upgraded to unhinged after Twice’s death, and that bodes poorly for their next encounter. Also, it’s somewhat depressing, if thematically appropriate, that the only group that managed to put a significant delay in the League’s charge was the UA students, and not any of the adult heroes. Whilst they’d be overwhelmed in a straightforward fight with the united villains at present, just like with the rescue of Bakugou at Kamino ward, it’s always the kids that successfully inconvenience the League, the next generation of enemies clashing against each other equally with all the adults being mere support to their fight, despite the fact that they shouldn’t have to be fighting this seriously yet, being still kids in school. But destiny will not be denied…. 3) “OUCH- JESUS CHRIST HE INCINERATED HER EAR”- The jokes about Dabi’s lack of chill ceased to be jokes once the chaos unfolded, and he’s only planning to turn the heat up for the heroes from here on in… 4) “OH HOLY SHIT IT WAS THOSE HITMARKERS THAT KAMINARI USES I WAS TRYING TO IDENTIFY WHAT IT WAS WHILE JOKING ABOUT IT

HELL FUCKING YEAH KAMINARI GO! “- Machia may be the big target, but taking out the league before they can interfere with Tomura’s battle would also net the heroes a win. Too bad Compress keeps his eye on the ball…and keeps plenty of balls stocked in his peashooter. 5) “FOR FUCK’S SAKE KAMINARI NO!”- Compress does not appreciate hecklers in his performance. 6) “Welp, fear not Mr. Compress, they are gonna make sure to properly kick your ass, especially now you’re out of tricks.”- Compress may be lacking when it comes to a flashy attack of his own, but his ability to accurately keep track of the flow of battle and identify potential upsets for the league’s goals well in advance is invaluable for them. That’s twice now he’s stopped the heroes before they had a shot of taking them all out, and just from chucking some rocks in their way to trip them up…or knock them down, as it were. Like Spinner, Compress is an invaluable supporting member of the League whenever he’s unable to be a front-line fighter. 7) “Class 1-A is trying to calm down a really rowdy toddler and the toddler in question is kicking their ass.”- Given how powerful the kids are becoming these days thanks to the Quirk Singularity, a child with Machia-like powers may one day be a possibility.

8) “OH NO THE TODDLER IS ABOUT TO START SCREAMING EVERYBODY TAKE COVER!”- Thankfully not, but if he had, it’s possible that Machia would have blown out everybody’s eardrums with a sound attack louder than even Jiro’s. Man’s lungs are a big as a house now, so if he screams, those kids can say good-bye to their hearing. Luckily, he also doesn’t see the need to actually attack them much either, so he’s still going easy on them by blowing them away with a mach 2 gale-force wind.

9) “Also, I find interesting that Machia has the opposite quirk from the Stressful Hulk.”-

So, now that we’ve had it confirmed that Machia’s got multiple abilities, it’s probably best to clarify something. Machia has the makeup of a Nomu, a being with multiple abilities and lowered brain functions likely because of that, but he isn’t one. The reverse rather, the Nomu are all based on him and his example as AFO’s primary engine of obedient destruction. Machia, for some unknown reason, can just naturally endure multiple Quirks without going completely brain-dead, presumably as a result of being an advanced-enough Quirk generation holder, even if having that much power did clearly knock his IQ down several notches. Despite that, what brains he has retained as coherent enough to completely fulfil any of AFO’s orders and the interplay of his Quirks is enough to make him nearly unstoppable.

The Nomu are all attempts by Garaki and AO to artificially replicate and reproduce Machia’s ensample on demand in various forms, to create an army of powerful soldiers that serve his whims unquestioningly, albeit with adjustments made for those who can handle the power better to retain high brain functions. In much the same way as Kurogiri is clearly their prototype work with creating a Nomu in the first place, a semi-artificial being with an implanted/altered personality to be absolutely obedient to orders and with multiple powers inserted into him, albeit in his case the powers were combined into a singular powerful one to preserve his mentality better. Machia is the opposite end of the scale to him, a natural existence that just could endure AFO stuffing him with so much power without exploding and remaining physically capable of following his commands, with the Nomu, and specifically the high-ends, being an attempted middle ground between them to create the ideal existence for the Lord of evil’s personal forces. Thankfully, the finished models all appear to be gone now, but the close-enough versions that are now active on the field are dangerous in their own right regardless, just not to the same extant.

(MHA ch 265) 10) “OH NO WAIT, NOT A NOMU, THEY SAW GIGANTOMACHIA, WHICH, BEING HONESTLY COULD BE A NOMU GOING BY HOW STRONG HE IS, BUT WE CAN TALK ABOUT THAT LATER,”- Technically, in a way he is a Nomu- the original template that birthed the concept anyway. It’s unclear exactly how he could withstand so many Quirks and abilities naturally, but Machia is what gave AFO the idea to create an army of mindless multi-powered soldiers utterly loyal to him to the point of being nearly brain-dead otherwise.

11) “Also, didn’t thought about that particular point, did ya, Spinner?”- To be fair, he’s mainly remembering how tough it was to fight Machia before, so based on his own harrowing experience, he knows exactly what these poor saps are going through and is enjoying the boot being on the other foot now…except, he forgot that his presence gives Machia a handicap that he didn’t have before, so the heroes actually have an easier time of it than he did.

12) “Yeah, what a shame, guess you guys are gonna have to take one for the team and let him go to Shigaraki all alone, I know, what a shame, but it is for the future you guys want, right? (: “- I actually don’t doubt that Spinenr would take that bullet if it came down to it. Lizard boy is ride or die for Tomura now, he’s proved that in spades. It’s actually a refreshing insight to how much better than AFO Tomura is as a villain, that he could naturally generate this kind of loyalty in his followers just from getting to know them, but AFO has to fall back on artificially generating that kind of loyalty in drones like the Nomu, especially given his current disfigurements have given him a severe handicap on his charisma checks.

13) “HOLY FUCK MT LADY CAME BACK FROM THE DEAD FOR ONE LAST INSULT FUCK YEAH GIRL FUCK THEM UP! TIME FOR YOUR LAST MEAL, MACHIA”-A crisis situation shows who you are underneath. For all that she seemed to be a flashy and “false” hero at the start, the kind that Stain would certainly target, at this moment, Mt lady’s proving that she’s a true bona-fide hero to the core, putting herself at immense risk and personal injury because nobody else but her can impede Machia in any meaningful way- plus, it’s also something of a fitting ‘midpoint’, for a new and upcoming rookie like her to be supporting the newbie kids on the field, just like the experienced hero Midnight put her trust and support in the next generation to step up to the plate.

14) “AND HERE COMES MINA WITH THE STEEL CHAIR!

HELL FUCKING YEAH GIRL!”- Acidman ain’t just an all-round attack option for Mina, it’s also a great defence when you need to venture into a Hazard zone.

@thelreads

[gokitetour]

Top 10 famous monuments of Belgium

Discover Belgium, the heart of Europe, where history meets modern charm. Explore picturesque cities like Brussels, Bruges, and Antwerp, each offering stunning architecture, world-class museums, and vibrant nightlife. Savor delectable Belgian chocolates, waffles, and beer, and enjoy scenic countryside dotted with castles and charming villages. Whether you're a history buff, foodie, or nature lover, Belgium promises an unforgettable adventure filled with rich culture and warm hospitality.

Here are ten of the most renowned:

Grand Place (Grote Markt), Brussels:

This central square in Brussels is a UNESCO World Heritage site, known for its opulent guildhalls and the magnificent Town Hall.

Atomium, Brussels:

A unique building and museum, designed for the 1958 Brussels World's Fair, representing an iron crystal magnified 165 billion times.

Manneken Pis, Brussels:

A small bronze statue of a boy urinating into a fountain, which has become a symbol of Brussels.

Saint Bavo's Cathedral, Ghent:

Known for housing the famous altarpiece, the Adoration of the Mystic Lamb by the Van Eyck brothers.

Belfry of Bruges:

A medieval bell tower in the historical center of Bruges, offering panoramic views of the city.

Basilica of the Holy Blood, Bruges:

A revered site that allegedly houses a vial of blood belonging to Jesus Christ.

Cathedral of Our Lady, Antwerp:

The largest Gothic church in the Low Countries, featuring artworks by Rubens.

Castle of the Counts (Gravensteen), Ghent:

A medieval castle that now serves as a museum showcasing weapons and armor.

Battle of Waterloo Memorial:

Commemorating the famous 1815 battle, featuring the Lion's Mound and a panoramic view of the battlefield.

Meuse Valley, Dinant:

Known for its stunning cliffs and the Citadel of Dinant, this area offers a mix of natural beauty and historical significance.

Conclusion

Belgium's famous monuments, such as the Grand Place, Atomium, and Manneken Pis, captivate travelers worldwide. These iconic landmarks showcase the country's rich history, architectural beauty, and vibrant culture. Obtaining a Belgium visa is the first step to experiencing these attractions firsthand. Whether you're marveling at Gothic cathedrals or exploring charming medieval towns, Belgium offers unforgettable experiences. Secure your Belgium visa and embark on a journey to discover the timeless allure of its renowned monuments.

Read more:

Egypt visa Bangladesh visa Japan visa Greece visa Norway visa Sweden visa Finland visa Germany visa

[salaciousslut]

Youre making me blush 🫣 now i gotta get strong enough to lift up a full grown adult its only right ☺️ and good! Im glad its not too cold!! Tho it sucks you cant get all dolled up in your winter clothes :( where im at we dont have much humidity so its been real cold for those born and raised here (i have been freezing tbh)

You have no clue how needy that made me, please bite me and leave marks everywhere holy fuck <3 and jesus christ youre so precious, like i feel a bit evil for the things i wanna do to you 🥺

Well! I hate to say it but if i get you drunk enough to pass out I'll still force my strap in you. But don't worry on missing out, you'll get a video of it anyways 🥰 I'll make sure you'll see how nice my cock looks in your pussy <33 only thing that sucks is that i cant cum in your pretty passed out body and i want to so fucking badly 🫣

Im also a floor person!!! Its actually so smart that you have a lil nook for yourself, like im jealous i didnt have that idea 😭 do u name your stuffed animals?? I wanna know bc I do >:3

I love that crocheting has become stress relief for you!! I like when creative outlets are also emotional ones like that makes me happy. You got a practical skill that also helps you out i am looking at you with love in my eyes and admiration in my heart 🥰

Tbh my favorite part of the day was getting back home, my job is literally so boring!! As for my intrests im a huge dork tbh. I love video games and Hades is my favorite game at the moment. Im also a huge animation buff, i love anything animated from short films on youtube to anime to fucking BoJack Horseman (i love that show, and u can kill me for that). And i also have strange interests like theology, religion is just so interesting to me. Oh and last lil fun fact abt me that i can think of: I almost went to college to double major in psychology and comp sci.

nooooo let me keep you warm then!!! im like w lil toaster oven with how warm i get. some come over!!! but i feel you! im not meant for the cold.

i loveeee evil!! i support evil!! i love being a chew toy and repaying the gift!!

ughhhhh please i would watch that video over and over again!!! plus i wanna watch it with u hehehe!!and we can try hard babe because its gonna happen, we gonna get u to cum in me dont worry. scientists will figure it out. ill figure it out!!

come to my nook then hehehe!! i can fit one more person!! and no i dont name them. im sooo baf with names so i just stick to their official government names. but now i wanna know the names of your stuffed animals!!

omg what if i told u i loveeeee watching other people play video games?? its literally my fav pass time and i just really like all the graphics without actually having to put in effort to try and win. so i feel like that goes hand in hand with animation right?? idk i just love visuals sm but i love that u love them!

omg sooo cool! religion is such an interesting topic so i would totally listen to u with heart eyes too!!

hehe i love psych!!! i have a psych minor and those were some of my fav classes!! i wanna teach u about them now

[saintmeghanmarkle]

Suits on Netflix and the birth of a new Sinner! by u/Lolliiepop

Suits on Netflix and the birth of a new Sinner! My traitor of a husband has been binging Suits the last few days. He knows I hate TW but we’ve never really talked about why. He says ‘baby come watch the queen with me!’….I told him my soul will not occupy the same room as her and I have refused to utter a word to him about her. He laughs and keeps watching. I’ve been in our room reading over the past few days and here are some comments he’s come in to say over the last few days:Jesus Christ she’s a baaadddd actress!she a fkng whore (with a Scottish accent- thanks outlander!)-omg she’s doing my man Mike dirty!-holy shit she’s really doing my man Mike dirty…I hate her!I wasn’t kidding…she really cannot act!didn’t you say she was a bitch to ‘your Queen’? Maybe I will sit down and listen to everything…when I’m done with the show.-I googled that whore and did you know she was a prostitute on BOATS!-I want to throat punch her just looking at her face!-she totally sucked someone’s sick to get this part…I’ve literally never seen someone who is this bad at acting! -omg (I think he found us sinners) you don’t know half of the shit she’s done IRL! She’s dirty! He never means this in a good way…a dirty girl is someone he would never even consider even drunk.I googled and the real princess, the pretty one, Kate….she’s gorgeous and you can tell she’s not trashy like this chick.-okay I’m sorry for calling her a queen and for calling her a princess. You are right.-why does she still have a title? Does she still have a title?-that Prince she married is a no better than she is…the king should banish both of em from England! These are all random comments made during his bathroom breaks or when I go out to the kitchen. I haven’t responded with anything but looks. I thought you all would get a kick out of this.Last year when the Queen passed away I was glued to the TV. I cried and it broke his heart. I’m a history buff, and an American…but I can appreciate when I am witnessing what will be in future history books. Plus I had/have a great admiration for the Late Queen. What a magnificent woman she was! He ordered me a QEII shirt and a jar of totally unrelated candies but they say Queens Delight on the fancy jar and a tiny tiara with a condolence card. Anyway, I haven’t had to breathe even a whisper from my lips…he has become a sinner all on his own. Congratulations honey! 😂 post link: https://ift.tt/Td6q8G7 author: Lolliiepop submitted: September 10, 2023 at 04:11AM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit

[duskkodesh]

Top ten worst artist’s versions of Morbius

Okay, one disclaimer first, obviously this is my opinion and my opinion only. I’m sorry if an artist you like makes it on the list but they deserved it *Coughs*. Also this is just the comics. Not including other media here, so don’t worry that stupid Spider-Man run game app version won’t be in this list to give you nightmares. Also because this is comics this will ONLY be 616 appearances that I find horrendous. So without further ado...

10: This is Peter Parker Spider-Man 78,  art credited as by John Romita Jr. Yes, I’m already going to get hate. He’s a good artist but Jesus Christ on a cracker look at this.

THIS is the version of Morb I hated because he looks like a WWE wrestler. He’s huge! He’s a bloody boulder! His clothes are always too shiny and they are ripped all over. Look, I just hate it. The man can draw great superheroes just never draw Morbius like this again. This is a oil tanker in human form with fangs. 

9: Jackson Guice. AKA the artist for Doctor Strange #10.

Look, I LIKE ugly. I really do but Morb isn’t supposed to look like a general plague victim. This guy looks more like a zombie than zombie Morbius does. Desiccated inbreed dog version Morbius, I hate it. He needs to be put down. 

8: Paul Gulacy, Adventures into Fear #20. I said in my AIF review that Paul was not my fave artist. What I really mean is the art... it’s terrible. 

That speech bubble is my reaction entirely. Look, I can deal with the face but again, too buff and this man cannot foreshorten limbs to save his life. Morb looks mangled and wrong on like every page of this comic. My least liked classic Morbius.

7: Look, I hate to do this but... Jackson Guice is on here twice because he amended his style from Doctor Strange# 10 to Doctor Strange #14 but uhhhh...

I like this LESS. Goth dandelion looking MFer. This Morb listens to the Cure and cries. Entomological damn eyes. I hate it. I promise this is the only artist on this list twice and it is ONLY because his style changed so much in four issues. 

6: AKA Marvel Comics Presents 144 AKA M.C. Wyman *Dodges a brick* I’m sorry okay!? But this is freaking terrible! LOOK AT HIM!

I LOATHE it. The over shading, the warped features. This is demon Morb most of this issue so he gets a slight pass. That’s the only reason this art isn’t higher up this list of dread.

5: Morbius #16 Isaac Cordova. This pains me but this deserves this slot.

I hate it. This is demon Morb here and yes, at the end of the issue it gets just a little better but holy hell do I hate looking at this. There’s no detail in this art, too much shading, crappy backgrounds. It’s only saving grace is there exists worse art.

4: Now we’re getting into the REALLY bad art and it breaks my heart to put Morbius #25 in here because it also houses a short story at the back that is one of my favorite story/art combos ever, but THIS, This Craig Gilmore art...

THIS Craig Gilmore art... I am seething. This is objectively bad. The art loses all fine detail. The backgrounds suck, the way he draws women is a joke. Fabric with no folds, crappy shading. I could go on for houuurs. I hate it. I think it’s a big contributing factor to the comic getting axed so fast after this change though they did shuffle around the artists the last few issues which sadly brings me to...

3: Morbius #31, art by Fabio Laguna. 

Look, other artists wound up here for making Morb incomprehensibly ugly. THIS artist is here for making him Clark Kent. He’s super buff, all the women in this issue are drawn super-sexy and all T+A. Proportion is lost on this guy he just makes shit up. This is so bad I have to post a second sample. This one is from the next issue.

I’d show you how he draws women but ya’ll can just look up any porn magazine and there you go. 

2: TODD MCFARLANE YOU HAD THIS COMING TO YOU.

I despise his art. I hate how his capes take on sentience. His webbing looks like barbed wire, every damn guy he draws looks contagious! Jawbones don’t work like that!!! Gritty grimdark pig nosed Morbius. Tiny eyed untrustable armhair covered sewer urchin. Old mop haired snub-nosed pitbull. UGGGGH.

For years Mcfarlane was the absolute top of my most hated list because of Spider-Man #13-14. Because of this art. There’s only one worse artist on here.

1! Spectacular Spider-Man vol 2 #14 Paolo Rivera. No. No no no. I don’t know how such a good artists did this to our boi.

The writing is even completely OOC for this. For the longest time I assured myself this had to be someone POSING as Morbius. This cannot be him. Didn’t act like him, didn’t speak like him, and CERTAINLY did NOT look like him. Hairless grubby tights-clad nosferatu twink. THAT is slenderman. It’s like the artist was just told “LOL draw a vampire but poorly.”

Also not forgiving Spidey for that really offensive wise-crack there. So it goes that I would not trust one of the best artists, Paolo Rivera, with drawing Morbius EVER again!!! AGH I’m enraged now. I need to go look at good art and calm down. Hope you guys enjoyed the list!

[mex-sickos]

Okay okay okay funny stuff going on in current times but I can’t slack on data mines

Khronshtadt (aka Chompcraft)-

Funny thing about my girl GUNBOAT TIME

CA/CB slot, CL slot, aa slot PLUS GHOST GUN

that’s right baybee motherfucking dakka unlimited

Skill one- on-fire barrage for first skill standard cb stuff (8/4 shots) but also adds a cool 8% fp/eva

Skill two-reduce ap damage by 8% fire another barrage every FOUR (4) secondary fire (at cl reload?!?!? MASSIVE), when equipped with NP equips increase secondary efficiency by 45% (originally its abysmal so this gets her to flat 100%) and ap damage reduc applies to all damage

Skill three-if she falls under 10% heal 1% for 10 sec, crossfleet barrage slows 40% and decreases bb spread by 2 (by far her worst skill imo really wish this was an in fleet buff instead and the zombie is pretty bad considering she has almost 8k health)

Bad (? This is just opinion) third skill aside she’s built to dps imo I think she’s gonna looks great in any vg, I think she wants either mob or bb fleet, all around hype UR

Kiev-

Pretty standard dd imo built like a fp dd but tragically no mgm+1, I think she’ll lose to some better competitors but is by no means a slouch

Skill one-barrage skill bumps her crit rate and damage 10% every 10 seconds (stacks twice, could be good will need to see)

Skill two- free 10% accuracy, if you have full vg or another NP increase fp/torp 15%, there’s a second half to this skill but it requires one vg for a dd might as well not exist

She’s not a game changer by any means but she’s a solid performer imo, treat her right and I’m sure she’ll do you good

Volga-

Not the CV I thought we’d get but she looks pretty baller, not much else to say let’s hop into what makes her good

Skill one-75% chance to fire a barrage, if it fails to fire hit a different barrage tho (first one has flooding, I’m willing to be the second one will be the same but without but that’s just conjecture)

Skill two (real stuff to look at)- every 20 seconds heal the lowest health+2 random ships for FIVE (5)% of Volga’s max hp, then summon an “ice crystal armament” that blows up after 2 sec

Skill 3- free 15% avi as long as you have 3 vanguard or an NP flagship/vg leader

Basically a direct upgrade to ryuuhou, run both for practically immortal dds l0l

Arkhangelsk-

Normal looking purple bb, no dilly dallying I’m tired (125 she has 420 fp l0l)

Skill 1- fire a barrage every 15 sec increase main fleet acc for 8 sec (we’ll have to see the barrage so jury’s out on that one but not very likely to be good)

Skill 2-gain 5% fp per hms/np ship up to 15% at max stacks get 15% aa and -10% burn damage as well (silly little buff skill you get what you see)

Normal purple bb (too be fair at the higher end of purple bbs) sorry if I sound a little mean she’s just very plain

Soobrazitelny-

No silly stats here, high fp for a dd but suffers from the same ailment that afflicts Kiev (no mgm no hoes)

Skill one- 30% (🤢) chance to deploy a smokescreen every 15 sec (normal 40% eva rate for 5 sec) gains 12% damage and 8 luck (luck lasts the rest of the battle) while affected by smokescreen

Skill two- every 20 sec 70% chance to fire barrage, if there are more np dds heal random np dd by 5% max health and if that ship is Tashkent heal increase that by 50% (like 7.25% presumably), this can happen twice per battle

I wasn’t expecting much from a purple dd but holy shit is she bad, like god the couldn’t spring for 50% proc rate on the smokescreen? Couldn’t make the heal skill consistent? God she is just an absolute waste of a VG slot holy fuck sorry if she’s your fave you got absolutely robbed G Jesus Christ

Sorry to end it on such a sour note oomfies but I hope you all enjoy this event! Stay safe and good night~💕

[goodomens-goodomenseverywhere]

BIG FUCKIN LOKI EP 5 THOUGHTS (spoilers ahead…obviously)

-big smoke babey???

-Sylvie's curly hair 🥺🥺🥺

-judge renslayer I don’t fuckin trust you one goddamn bit

-WHY WOULD SHE FICKING TRUST YOU FUCK YOU

-alligator Loki is everything to me

-"All I know is I got pruned and I woke up here, and now I’m surrounded by variants of myself, plus an alligator, which I’m heartbroken to report I didn’t even find all that strange” I LOVE YOUFJENDK

- I am in love with alligator loki

-buff Loki sarcastic ALSO HOLY SHIT???? KID LOKI FUCKIN KILLED THOR?? KESUS FUCKING CHRIST

-TINY THORNSCJSKDJ

-”why do you want to return to the TVA”

“Did you leave your glorious purpose there?” JFKSKFKD GOT EM

-tHEY JUST CONVENIENTLY HAVE A VOID SOACECRAFT LYING AROUND OKAY BITCH GOOD FUCKIN TIMING RAVONNA

-fuckin called it bitch

-"do you have any good memories?” Fuck you ravonna

-HOLY SHIT SHE PRUNED HERSELF

-marvel if you pull this selfcest bs when Loki and Sylvia reunite I’ll go rabid

-HAPPY GIGGLE ALLOGATOR LOKI IN POOL

-AALOGATOR LOKI ATE THE BEIGHBORS CATDKSJCKSJ

-classic Loki is the only smart bitch

-so….Loki’s timeline continues? HE SIRVIVES AFTER INFINITY WAR???

-Loki:*rousing speech*

The other Lokis: no ❤️

-okay so what’s the beef between these Loki groups

-THAT WAS FUCKIN COOL WHATD SHE DO

-is it mobius

-pls tell me it’s mobius

-ITS MOVIUS ITS MOBIUS ITS MOBIUS IM GONNA CRY ITS MY BOY

-I’m crying real tears i haven’t felt this much serotonin since I watched Save The Cat from shera s5 I had to stand up and walk around my house but I can’t DO THAT BECAUSE ITS 3 am

-I walked around my room I had to pause for a bit

-moving on

-“you should be careful just jumping into a strangers car like that” I LOVE YOU YOU FUCKIN BASTARD

-“watch out!”

“I see it I see it”

“Really because you’re driving RIGHT towards it”

“God you really are one of you”

-THE MONIUS/SYLVIE INTERACTION IVE BEEN CRAVING

-loki veing super fucking done with his own variants is SO FUNNY

-TBEY JUST KEEP BACKSTABBING WACH TOHERRKDIFJSJ

-"WHY RHE HELL IS THERE AN ALLIGATOR IN HERE"

"HES A LOKI"

-HE BIT OFD HIS FUCKING HANDKFODKCKS

-KID LOKI HOLDING ALLIGATOR LOKI LIKE A BABYYYYY

-our Loki trying ro sneak out of the Loki brawl

-"and whenever one of us dares to fix ourselves they send us here to die" cries?? Ur so little

-sylvie I love u but girl

-"cmon Mobius let's just drive into the thing that EATS MATTER"

-"just bc its not complicated dossnt mwan it's bad"

"doesn't mean it's good"

-THE ALLIHATIE IS PRAYINGDJCKSJD

-did the tva ORUNE THE SHIO???

-better yet did they ARRESTTHE SHIP??

-many questions

-REUNION EEUNION LOKIUS REUNION

-IM GONNA CRY

-I LOVW RHEM

-CRIWS

-"US AS AN ALLIGATOE"

-ALL QUESTIONING THEIR PLANSJCISJFKS

-sylvje being like "oh my God THAY was your plan"

-mobius I love you

-I wanted a better ruinion marvel I better get SOMETHINF

-UR TELLING ME LOKI ALMOST CRIED WHEN MOBIUS WAS ORUNED AND HE JUST GIVES HIM A HALF ASSED 'MOBIUS!' WHEN HE SEES HIM AGAIN??? OKAY

-ravonna what r u up to

-B-15 NOOO

-I want more b-15 content

-also she's hot

-ur telling me Mobius read about literally everything Loki related and doesn't remember the ALIGATOR???

-I am loving the Lokis and Mobius interactions

-questioning alligator Loki on whether or not he's Loki

-"HE CARWS ABOUT YOU" LOKIUS??

-pls dont

-pls dont share the blanket

-okay cool no selfcest

-pls

-this is awkwaed

-FRIENDS FRIENDS FRIENDS

-God pls just admit you're friends

-theyre sharing the blanket OK fine

-judging his blanket conjuring skills I see

-i am actually appreciating the friendly nudges I do want them to be close

-nebermind I take it back

-THE DAEK ASTERRRRR

-HEY BITCH

-sylvie I believe in you

-loki you stupid bitch

-WE'RE SPLIRTING UP LOKI AND MOBIUS AGAIN?? HOMOPHOBES

-im mad

-I better see more of them I STG ILL GO FERAL

-HUG HUG HUG

-THEY HUGGED I'M GONNA CRY BUT STILL

-HE CALLED MOBIUS 'MY FRIEND' GOODBYE

-I LOVE THEM

-sob

-stilk mad abour them splitting up

-alioth is baby right? Can we all agree?

-loki if u sacrficie yourself

-bitch

-OMG AZIRAPHALE MOMENT

-FLAMINH SWORD???

-hot

-SO FUCKING TRUE CLASSIC LOKI LOVE U BITCH

-HW JUST CREATED AN ENTIRE ASGADD ILLUSION

-LOKI I BELIEVE IN U

-NOOOO DONR EAT CLASSIC LOKI

-OH HES HELPING??

-ope

-nvm

-GOT EM

-FUCK YEAAHHHHY

-K so what's all this then

[savior-of-humanity]

OKAY here are my Thoughts(tm) about The Ancient Gods part II

ALSO: MASSIVE FUCKING SPOILER WARNING FOR THE ANCIENT GODS PART 1 + 2. BE WARNED THIS IS LONG AS FUCK. TL;DR AT BOTTOM.

In terms of the gameplay: I really liked how it played! The combat encounters weren’t downright vicious like in the first DLC, but they still go out of their way to mix things up (i.e a hallway filled with explosive barrels + blood punch pick-ups + Pinkies, or the double-Marauder encounter that you could ACCIDENTALLY FUCKING BUFF JESUS CHRIST) so it was still fun all around.

The new enemies added - the Cyber-Baron/Armored Baron, Riot Zombie/Chaingunner, Screecher Zombie, Stone Imp, and Cursed Prowler - are...okay. I like the idea of new enemy variants based off pre-existing ones but they felt either really fucking frustrating to fight (particularly the Cursed Prowler and Chaingunner) or were very “simple”, I guess. The Stone Imps, in particular, are a variant of Imp that are very resistant to damage unless you use the full-auto mod for the shotgun, in which they drop even more shotgun ammo if they’re killed by that. Other than that they do a Sonic-style spin-dash and slam into you, which can actually knock you off a ledge. Screecher Zombies are basically just mobile hazards that if you accidentally hit, will act like temporary Buff Totems. Cursed Prowler is fucking awful: basically, if it hits you with a projectile, you’ll be cursed with a debuff that keeps you from double-jumping and dashing that also drains your health over time, and you HAVE to kill it with a blood punch in order to remove the curse. Chaingunners are basically just the Shield Zombie Soldiers, but they shoot faster and have an indestructable shield. And finally, the Cyber-Baron: It’s basically a Baron of Hell, but with indestructable armor that can only be destroyed by shooting it’s mace when it flashes green, or by shooting it with plasma. After the armor is gone you have to kill it as fast as you can before the armor is regenerated, repeat until it dies.

Summoner Ghosts and Blood Maykrs also make a return, which is cool.

The Hammer is cool to say the least. I was hoping to see some glory kills with it but considering that it’s primary use is to either clear out groups of small enemies or to stun larger ones like Barons, it makes sense that they’d omit glory kills from it. On top of that, Marauders now have a mechanic (for the entire game, not just the DLC) where when you shoot them as they flash green, they’ll become stunned (though the sound effects are rather corny and cartoonish, even for the game). Using the Hammer on a stunned Marauder will GREATLY extend that stun, which allows you to just fucking shit on them.

I also really liked the grapple-Hookshot points that you had to use to progress in a level. I’m still not really used to how you’re supposed to move in the opposite direction of the point to swing yourself, but the idea is intuitive, fun, and makes me wish it was in the base game and the previous DLC.

My biggest grievances with this DLC, however, is how it handled some of it’s characters, the story, and the new lore that was implemented in the codexes.

So first off: I want to say that while I still appreciate the DLC, that’s honestly only with the gameplay. The story, much less the lore, is fucking stupid to say the least.

To TL;DR the story: It is, quite honestly, bare-bones as fuck. We continue from where we directly left off from the Ancient Gods Part 1: Davoth/The Dark Lord is being summoned into existence and into his physical form, which for some reason looks exactly like Doomguy except with sick tats, glowing red eyes, and a weird implant in his chest. Doomguy, naturally, tries to spawncamp him and shoots him with his super-shotgun, but nothing happens as “no blood can be spilled in this holy place”. Davoth leaves, telling Doomguy that he’ll be waiting for him in the city of Immora, the capitol city at the very center of Hell.

Doomguy goes to Argent D’Nur. He murder-death-kills shit, as per usual. He goes into this big castle where a hologram of Valen is waiting for him. He tells him that he atones for his sins and gives him the Hammer since Doomguy lifted the curse from his son’s soul. He goes to the Torch of Kings and lights it, marking his journey to the giant crystalline spear that impales Argent D’Nur known as the World Spear. Cue cutscene of a bunch of different Argenta people/Night Sentinel seeing the light of the Torch of Kings from all over Argent D’Nur. Internguy tells him that it’s a day’s walk still from the World Spear, and conveniently a very fucking awesome looking Argenta dragon shows up and gives him a ride to the World Spear.

Doomguy gets to a lake that separates him from the World Spear. The Father says “He is worthy” and then a bridge rises out of the water. Doomguy crosses past some big ass Sentinel ghosts/guardians and into the World Spear. Turns out the inside of the World Spear is like some giant, fucked up ship made out of crystal, with weird figures lining the wall and all that: Internguy even says “This isn’t a crystal at all, this is a ship!” This does not get expanded upon whatsoever in neither dialogue or codexes. Doomguy grabs Convenient Power Crystal and leaves.

Doomguy arrives on Earth through a portal, which is looking substantially better than since its invasion. Internguy tells him that a Convenient Ancient Portal close by is the only way to Immora. Doomguy kills shit, arrives at portal, activates it with Convenient Power Crystal, and leaves.

Doomguy arrives in front of a giant wall surrounding Immora. Davoth walks out, wearing a big ass power suit that looks like something straight out of Warhammer 40k. He’s surrounded by guards in cool red armor with cool spears that look very humanoid. He says some shit and a bunch of Hell-ships and demons and titans start showing up. But then surprise! A bunch of portals open up on Doomguy’s side like it’s fucking Infinity War/Endgame all over again and a fuckload of Sentinels start coming out, with mechs and dragons and spaceships. Valen is there. Doomguy and Valen stare at each other for like 5 seconds before Valen says “Let Hell tremble before our might!” or some shit like that. Doomguy fights, gets past the wall, fights some more inside the city. Again, the usual.

I also want to briefly point out that Immora is basically just a Maykr city but red, and that it’s apparently “Hell’s own technology.” Also, the red dudes in armor are actual enemies but the guns they have (the hell-razor from 2016) do piss-poor damage and they die if you so much as breathe on them.

Doomguy finally catches up to Davoth. Davoth monologues about how he’s going to get his revenge and that it’s inevitable, bla bla bla. Fight begins. It’s basically Marauder 2.0 but if he hits you and/or you shoot him at the wrong time he heals a fuckload of health. And also 5 different health bars. After you knock down 2 or 3 of his bars he stops the fight to monologue for some fucking reason? And then shits out a plot twist that surprise, he’s actually the real God, and that the Father betrayed/usurped his power, and that he will “unmake everything by his hand.” Fight resumes. Doomguy eventually beats him. Davoth asks him if he has anything to say before he strikes down his creator. Doomguy takes off his helmet, stabs Davoth in the heart, and says no in his stupid sexy voice. Davoth dies, his life-sphere emerges and then explodes. Doomguy suddenly becomes weak and falls over. The Father says “He created everything in his image, even you.” Doomguy passes out and wakes up to see 3 Seraphim seal him in a sarcophagus like the one from 2016. Fade to black, with the quote “May the blood on your sword never dry, and may we never need you again.” End game, roll credits.

If you hadn’t read any of the codexes while playing the DLC, the story probably makes little to no sense to you whatsoever. But honestly the codexes don’t expand upon things much and, if anything, just fucking make some aspects of the story even more stupid.

The World Spear is implied in the codex that it contains live Wraiths (“A live Wraith has not been seen in centuries, but rumors persist that some yet remain inside the World Spear itself.”), and while the figures in the World Spear could be Wraiths, absolutely nothing is said about them out of three Codexes related to the level, which honestly just makes me wonder the point of adding this stuff if you don’t even give a single sentence of why the interior of the World Spear is Like That.

The codex entries related to Earth are basically uninteresting as they’re pretty much just “humanity is rebuilding and views doomguy as a hero”. There is one about the Convenient Ancient Portal (Gate of Divum) but all it really says is that it was built and used by the Father to access Immora. Nothing about why it’s on Earth, or anything interesting like that.

However, the real bullshit comes in when we start to look at the codex entries related to Immora and Davoth.

So, Immora is the central - and oldest - city in Hell. It’s described as such: “Once a paradise at the dawn of creation, Immora now survives as a stronghold where the Dark Lord resides. Sustained now by the essence of Hell's victims, the people of Immora experience life eternal. Regular infusions of Hell energy have prevented them from transforming into the demons found outside the boundaries of the city. Ancient technology defends Immora from invaders, the high walls impenetrable to those who would bring harm to the last people of the first world.“

Yeah. So not only did Hell have high-tech technology all this time, but also the red guys in armor? Those are Immorans. Which is weird to me, because if Hell had this super advanced technology that’s also ancient, and thus around for a long time, why the hell are we only seeing it now?

Also, surprise! Turns out the Book of Seraphs is a complete fucking lie according to the very first codex entry related to Davoth! (”Our research shows that Maykr history and lore holds truths that are not consistent with passages found in the Hell Priest texts, revealing the true origins of Hell and all surrounding dimensions. This revelation would explain why Hell is the single dimension that connects to all others, and why it is the oldest in existence - the first world.”)

The real truth is that Davoth is the real Creator/God, and that Jekkad was the very first realm, not Urdak. He still sought immortality for his people, so he created the Maykrs to figure it out for him. They did, but decided it would be too dangerous to give Davoth that information, so they basically said “fuck you” and sealed Jekkad/Davoth while re-writing their own records to hide the truth. Obviously, this pissed off Davoth. So much so that he basically became super angry and emo and became the Dark Lord from all the vengeance and hatred (which also turned Jekkad into Hell.)

Another surprise! Turns out that Davoth had a hand in the creation of the fucking Doom Slayer! Because he wanted to get revenge against the Maykrs, he started to manipulate a bunch of people while he was trapped as a life sphere I guess. He started with the Khan Maykr, convincing her that there was a “chosen one” who would threaten her rule and thus making her paranoid as fuck. He then guided her into creating the Divinity Machine using a fragment of himself that had been sealed in Urdak. Then he manipulated Samur, by convincing him that “the Khan Maykr will lead us all to ruin.” He was then controlled and compelled to release a stranger from his prison (Doomguy) and empower him using the Divinity Machine.

As you can probably guess, he got his revenge since Doomguy would go on to utterly fuck Urdak/the Khan Maykr (as well as Samur), and ever since he knew that his “Beast” would come for him.

Listen. I don’t really mind the idea of Doomguy being used or even manipulated by different godly powers. Or even Davoth being the real God or whatever. But this new lore and story just feels... really sloppy and poorly executed, especially since it directly conflicts with the fucking base game. If he manipulated the Khan Maykr and wanted revenge against her, then why did he scream “NOOOOOO!” when Doomguy killed her?

And, if anything: Why the fuck does Davoth even look like Doomguy in the first place? Is it some form of mockery? Or did id just decide to fucking retcon the Doom Slayer being the same person as the Doomguy from Doom 1/2 with the Father’s line of “He created everything in his image -- even you.”

And, on top of that, the DLC just left more open questions than answers: what the fuck happened to Samur, since he isn’t even so much as mentioned beyond the codexes? Who is the Wretch, the being who had supposedly forged Doomguy’s armor back in 2016? What is the fate of Earth/Hell/Urdak/Argent D’Nur after the Slayer’s victory? What the fuck happened to the Demonic Crucible, the one from 2016? What about the ARC Carrier and the Fortress of Doom?

Finally, Valen, Internguy and the Father should’ve been far more involved in the story beyond just being either convenient voices telling you convenient stuff or (in the case of Valen) being a convenient guy to give you convenient weapon that also conveniently shows up with a giant army that doesn’t actually do anything but look cool in the skybox.

TL;DR The new lore and story of the DLC is basically garbage, and since I highly doubt id will change it I’m going to completely disregard it, write my own, and also take up Davoth as a muse because it seriously pissed me off that much.

[blackrigante]

Some deep thoughts about Christianity.

Warning this might make some Christian people upset.

Let's look at the ministry of Christ. Jesus taught love thy neighbour as thy self, his second greatest commandment. He was peaceful and loving. The only time Christ was violent at all, as far as I recall, was throwing money changers from the temple.

He fed the hungry, healed the sick, taught of forgiveness and charity. After he died his apostles took the message beyond the Jewish nation to to world. They died.

Now here is where I start speculation, but around 300 AD Christianity is huge, lots of Christians are dying and yet Rome is still trying to expand. But it's hard to expand when Christians are teaching peace and love and your nation is split in half. Constantine had this wonderful idea, the Nicene Creed, where he took Christian teachings and found a way to make it fit for the regular Roman empire, thus creating the Roman Catholic Church. He stopped a civil war in the heart of his empire before it started, but he did not care about Christianity at all. We can assume this because he never willingly went to be baptized. He was forced on his death bed.

So why force Rome to become Christians if he did not believe in it himself unless it was political, that means the Nicene Creed and the Roman Catholic Church are made with an political agenda. Sorry to break it to you, but this is where Christians start to take a turn for the bad.

After Christianity is accepted in Rome they still need to grow and expand the empire, but if Christians are to be peaceful how do you get them to join the war with the rest of Rome? Conversion by the sword of course. Now Rome can keep expanding and justify it because they are teaching the ignorant clans of northern Europe about Christianity. They killed all Celtic leaders, almost every Christian holiday is a stolen pegan holiday, ways to force pegans to convert.

But when did Christ, Peter, James, John or Paul ever force someone to follow them by the sword. When did any of them say join me or die? When did Peter steal Pupercalia and make it a holiday in the Bible, oh wait he did not do that did he.

So now we got Christians who have been taught by a political entity that it's okay to convert pagans by the sword for 600 years and Christianity becomes a major faith in Europe. So let's go kill the Muslims and take Jerusalem for ourselves. It's a holy war! It's what God wants!

This has spread to today. Look at all these people who proclaim to be Christian still trying to convert with violence. Protests at abortion clinics, violence to the LGBTQ community, anti jew propaganda, anti Muslim propaganda, attacks on hindu and pegan people.

I ask again when did Christ put people to the sword? When did Christ threaten violence to the pharasee and sadducee for challenging his teachings?

Christ visited the lame, sick, lepers, the outcast and helped them, not screamed and yelled. So why do we do it? Is it because Constantine has made you his puppet from beyond the grave?

I am no history buff, I may be wrong, and if you can prove it so, then do it with your facts. If I hurt your feelings, before you lash out may I suggest you think it though a little and see if there is a reason so many Christians on earth are aggressive and violent to those who are not Christians. You may be a real Christian and follower of Christ, doing charity work and loving everyone, if so then thank you for your hard work. We all know many who claim to be Christian but are still following the Roman propaganda they taught to continue the war.

[psyleedee]

Sweet, Spice and Everything Not Nice.

(Inspired by the iconic™ hot chilli Jen/Danneel/Misha moment but Destiel).

dean/castiel, secret relationship, accidental coming out, crack, humor, implied blowjobs, poor sammy.

-2k words.

-psyleedee.

There's a new diner opened up just a mile away from the Bunker, and already, Dean has heard so much about it. Last Tuesday, when he went for a milk run and stumbled into Ms. Davey, she was strangely keen about the new chilli poppers the diner was serving. Dean had smiled and brushed her off with a sure, I'll try it out, and he'd gone his way. Come Thursday, he'd stumbled into Chris, the local pawn shop owner, and they'd fallen into easy conversation, before Chris had spoken up about the diner. Said they had the best damn chilli poppers he'd ever seen. Dean didn't need anymore convincing.

Turns out Sam did.

And after weeks of goading Sam and riling him up to the point where he slammed a fist on the table and said Jesus Christ, Dean, you say the word chilli poppers again and I'll shove one right up your ass, Dean had succeeded. So what if it meant his dignity had crumbled to ash? At least he'd get to eat some good, greasy food, the one he's been craving for so long.

Besides, he oughta' take Cas out on a date too.

Ever since they ended up drunk in bed one long, fateful night ago, things have been slightly different between the two of them. For starters, they smile at each other a lot. Even when they're not looking at each other in tandem. They always end up on the same side of the couch or the dining table, thighs pressed together, hands brushing. They argue a lot, over the most mundane things, like washing the dishes or doing the laundry, but sometimes, after a hunt, when Dean is gushing blood, there will be this one broken glint in Castiel's eyes when he tries to heal him. And that night, they'll make slow, gentle love in Dean's car, away from the rest of the world.

However, there's a slight catch.

Sam doesn't know. He knows nothing. At least Dean hopes so.

And hey, not like they're trying to hide stuff from Sam, 'cause come on, they're practically breathing up each other's neck with only the three of them in the bunker, but it's just that Dean has a specific plan in his mind.

A plan about coming out to his brother. And it'll be heartfelt, of course, 'cause this is not just him establishing his relationship with Castiel, but also him coming out as bisexual. Sure, forty's a little late to figure out your sexuality, but better late than never, yeah?

So that's how it goes.

Maybe they can have a nice, brotherly chat over beer and chilli poppers.

"So, here we are. At last," Castiel says, as they stand against the Impala, all three of them, studying the creaky wooden sign which reads: Donny's Diner– home to the famous Habanero Chilli Poppers.

Okay. They're at the right place then.

"Habanero? Is that like, hotter than jalapeños or somethin'?"

Dean asks, as he stuffs his hands into the pocket of his jacket, and glances at his brother.

"I don't know," Sam says, so Dean turns to Cas, who almost passes as a rugged, buff lumberjack with the way Dean's flannel and AC/DC shirt hug his chest. He has his arms folded across him, a thoughtful gleam in his eyes as he studies the diner.

"I was too busy leading armies in Heaven to really pay attention to the chillies on earth."

"God," Dean sighs, exasperated, "-just say no."

Castiel's lips twitch in the slightest of amusement, and Dean hates the smug look spread across Castiel's face.

Okay, fine, he loves it.

Whatever.

"Let's go eat some fucking chilli poppers," Sam sighs, and Dean, ever ready, follows behind him. Castiel joins them, and all three men enter the diner, which in truth, is a normal, rustic style place. The tables are wooden, the chairs quite simple, a single order station at the front, and a few women, dressed in black shirts and jeans, running around with trays in their hands. It seems casual and laid-back, just the way Dean likes a diner to be, and at once, he quirks his bottom lip, already impressed by the minimal decor and the light chatter in the diner.

"Hi!"

Both Cas and Dean jump a little at the loud, enthusiastic, squeaky voice from in front of them, and standing before them is a young, short woman, with a pixie cut and cute, black-rimmed glasses on her nose. She reminds Dean of a high schooler. Maybe she is.

"Erm, hey."

"I'm Dana, and I'll be your server today. Follow me please, I'll grab you guys a seat."

Dean smiles at her, and the trio follows her along to a booth at the corner of the room. Sam slides in one side, while Castiel and Dean slip in across him. Dana allows them to settle for a moment before piping up again. Seriously this girl has got some real hard enthusiasm for a waitress.

"So, do you guys have anything in mind already? Since a lot of people come in here for the poppers, but if you want, I can get you the menu."

Dean shares a look with Sam. Dean shares a look with Cas.

We'll have the poppers. Oh, and uh, Dana, are the poppers uh, spicy? Like, reeealll spicy? Or spicy spicy?"

Dana chuckles, and shrugs.

"On a scale of one to ten, I'd say a solid eight. But you don't need to try them if you don't want to. We have normal jalapeño poppers. Those aren't as spicy."

"We'll have the really spicy ones, since Dean has been so insistent about them," Castiel says, and the waitress nods. He turns to Dean with a challenging spark in his eyes, "-or are you scared, Dean? I mean, you haven't been known to be quite tolerant towards chillies."

"Shaddup," Dean grumbles, and watches as Sam sends him a silly look, before turning to the waitress.

"The habanero poppers, please."

Sam smiles, and the waitress walks away with a brief nod.

Dean turns back to Sam, who fixes him a dry glare, before turning to Cas.

"Alright, I'm gonna' go use the restroom for a minute," He says, and glances at Dean, after which he proceeds to slide out of the booth and walk away.

Alone at last.

Dean shifts his weight onto a single thigh and turns in his seat to face Castiel. Castiel looks at him with a soft, tender expression, before reaching out to twine their fingers together.

"Are you happy, Dean?"

"'Course I am, Cas. Are you?"

"With you I always am."

"Sap."

"I prefer the term honest."

A smile spreads across both of their faces, before Dean leans in, and presses his lips to Castiel's, who melts at once, giving in to Dean, hands grazing Dean's jaw as they kiss, tender, longing, passionate, hot... Okay too hot, abort, abort.

Dean clears his throat and backs away, glancing around the diner to find a few curious pair of eyes on them, and he sends each one a glare, linking his arm around Castiel's back to show them what's theirs. Castiel shakes bis head with a hopeless smile, and steals a peck off Dean's lips, just in time, since Sam returns not a moment later.

Dean jerks his hand away. Castiel seems a bit hurt.

"So, what'd I miss?"

"Nothing," Castiel scoffs, and looks away, setting his chin on his fists on the table.

Sam looks between Dean and Castiel, and as much as Dean hates the way Sam is suspicious, he doesn't say much.

Patience, Sammy, patience. Dean's going to come out soon. He promises. Or something.

Dana returns just in time to soothe the rising tension at the table, and at once, the prominent scent of spices, oil, and chilli wafts around them, tickling Dean's nostrils in the best of ways, and he follows his nose to find a steaming, hot plate of sizzling habanero poppers held in Dana's hand. There's almost eight to nine poppers on the plate, and each one looks downright delectable.

"Alright, I would advise you to grab yourself some water, because these can be very spicy, and we don't want another paramedic in this diner."

"You have a paramedic in this diner?"

Dean asks, incredulous as he stares at the plate of poppers.

Dana laughs. "Uh-huh, over there, that's Kenny, he's the medic."

"Woah."

Castiel sighs, and watches as the waitress sets the tray down before them.

"Anything else I can get you? Besides a huge jug of water?"

Dana smirks, and all three men gulp at once, eyes fixed to the plate of poppers.

Man up, Winchester.

"Nothing, honey."

Dean smiles, and Dana returns it before walking away.

Now.

The poppers.

Before Dean can even speak, both Sam and Castiel are swiping their hands at one, holding it up and staring down at it.

"Guys, I don't think that's it's a good idea to–"

Gone. The poppers are gone. The ones in Sam's and Castiel's hand? Gone. In their mouths.

Dean stares, wide eyed, awestruck, torn between looking at Sam and Castiel, but then–

"Oh my god," Castiel gasps, mouth stuffed full, chewing on the popper, and Dean watches as his fists clench on the table.

Yup. Dean is not touching those poppers with a ten-foot pole.

"Jesus," Sam mutters, and holy shit, the guy's actually red, and fuck, so is Cas, they're literally burning red at the cheeks and the nose, and Sam's drooling, wiping his nose, there's tears at his eyes, Castiel is swatting the table, groaning, tears streaming down his face as he chews on the popper–

This is a fuckfest.

"Dude, what's happening?"

Dean yelps, shrinking away from his brother and boyfriend, as they pant, gasp and cry.

"Hot, hot, hot– too hot," Sam cries out, and Dean almost feels bad for the bugger. Serves them for being impatient.

"Dean, oh my god, argh, hot, hot, this is the hottest thing I've ever put in my mouth?!"

Castiel screams out, banging his fist on the table, and yes, Dean knows the time isn't right, but obviously Castiel has had hotter things in his mouth before, and those things are sitting right next to him, so how dare he.

"Excuse me?" Dean scoffs, to which Castiel sends him a dry, enraged glare.

"Food, Dean! Food."

Castiel squawks, and slaps the table, but a loud, deafening yelp catches both of their attention.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!"

Sam bellows, and oh. Oops.

"I don't wanna' listen to you talk about your sex life when I'm literally dying?! Dean, what the fuck are you sitting for, ask for some water?!"

Wow. This Sam is... Not nice.

Dean falters, trapped between two impatient, burning, overreacting men, and he rises up from his seat, watching as Dana scurries towards them with a water jug, but she doesn't even have a moment to react before Castiel is snatching it out of her hands and oh, oh god.

Castiel holds the jug above his face, and Dean jumps away from the table as the water gushes out, pouring into his mouth, over his shirt, everywhere, and before Castiel can even quench his thirst, Sam is grabbing the jug, pouring it over his face just like Castiel, the water drizzling every where, and a horrified, stricken Dean simply glances up at Dana, who seems... Strangely calm.

"Oh, it's more common than you think. I'm used to it," She says, and Dean wonders vaguely, if they're paying her enough for this, before providing help in the most menial form ever, by tossing his handkerchief to Castiel.

"You, Dean, are not getting away with this. You're the reason we almost died?!"

He growls, and yanks Dean onto the chair.

"Dude, I didn't ask you to pop it into your mouth literally a second after it came out."

Dean yells, shrugging away in defense, when a loud gasp draws their attention to Sam.

"You guys are fucking each other?"

Oh. Uhm. Cat's out.

"Yes, we're fucking each other, Sam, now could you pass that jug over here?"

Dean stares at the two of them, completely normal, going about passing the between the two of them.

That was... Not how he planned on coming out. Nope.

"Yeah, uh, Sam, Cas and I are dating. And uhm, I'm bi."

Sam shrugs, and holds the jug above his face, when it seems to click him.

"Wait. Was I not supposed to know that?"

Dean rolls his eyes.

"No, you weren't. How'd you know?"

Sam laughs.

"I don't know, maybe the oh my god, faster Dean, or the oh, you feel so good, coming from your room each night might have something do with it."

Dean blushes. Hard. Too hard. Castiel doesn't seem the slightest bit bothered. I mean, well, save for the water he's practically guzzling down.

"Whatever."

Dean grunts, and slides back in next to Castiel, who pushes the jug away, and slumps back against the booth.

Silence follows both Sam and Castiel's heavy pants.

Only for Castiel to grin again.

"That was awesome, I'm trying another."

[holdharmonysacred]

It’s like, with Papa Nier it’s still rough, but it’s not as “holy fuck” because big buff gruff papa bear video game dad protagonist is already just a massive cliche over here in western video games even taking into account that Papa Nier was an early example. Brother Nier though is the exact same “Oh here’s a normal sweet guy protag boy - oh god oh jesus christ what the fuck” type as dimitri fire emblem and it hits like a goddamn truck, especially given younger bro Nier’s major case of babyface before the timeskip. God. This is gonna be a time.

[analyzingadventure]

I’M 5 EPISODES BEHIND ON PSI, I CAN ONLY WATCH 4 BECAUSE THE NEWEST ONE ISN’T AVAILABLE YET AND IT’S KILLING ME BECAUSE I SAW AN OUT-OF-CONTEXT MEME ABOUT IT AND IT HAD SOME IMPLICATIONS ABOUT IT

ANYWAYS, LET’S CATCH UP ON PSI, EPISODES 20-23, LET’S GO

Okay let’s save that widdle baby from that test tube

HOLY SHIT PSI’S VELGRMON IS HUGE

THAT IS A BIG FUCKING BIRB

That is a weird way for Devimon to ask Velgrmon to fetch Takeru considdering he was technically already captured by Devimon but okay I guess

MEGADRAMON!!! YEAH

Leomon please don’t die

Ah, they are acknowledging that the kids were missing for three days during a horrifying black-out, I was worried they wouldn’t like, acknowledge that at all

Koushirou’s hesistant to talk about his parents... Oh baby... ;_;

TENTOMON!! How’re you messaging to the kids?? IS GENNAI THERE TO HELP?? Or are you just in the Network messing with stuff?? Probably?

Oh, great, Algomon still isn’t fucking dead. HOW MANY TIMES DO WE NEED TO KILL THIS FUCKER

Is that squid thing Calmaramon? It looks like Calmaramon??

oH MY GOD it took me a moment to realize what was happening but WEREGARURUMON HITCHING A RIDE ON THE GIGA DESTROYER MISSILE WAS HILARIOUS OMG HE’S USING IT LIKE A SKATEBOARD LMFAO

YEAH YAMATO, SAVE YOUR BABY BRO!!!

TAKERUUU!! SASUKEEEE wait

ANGEMON!!!! BABY!!! WHERE ARE YOU ANGEMON?!?!

Megumin Han.... I’m so happy to hear your voice ;___;

A beautiful reunion

Takeru seems to be taking... [/points at the DW and the Digimon] everything really well

Jesus Velgrmon is stronk

NOOO THEY JUST SAVED TAKERU, FUCK

ANGEMON WAKE UP!!! WAKE UP!!!! WE NEED YOU!!!

OHHHHH TAKERU IS ANGERY no talk to him he angy

YEAH ANGEMON, FLY LIKE THE FUCKING WIND

God I love WereGarurumon’s nail polish, it looks fantastic yo

ANGEMON!!!!! Feather symbolism yeee

Is Angemon gonna spend all his powers to kill Velgrmon and die instantly? That’d be hilarious

Awe, no Giga Destroyer? Just Giga Storm? D’aww

HE IS GONNA DIE, ISN’T HE

ENJOY YOUR TRAUMA TAKERU LMFAO

oh mY GOD SKULL KNIGHTMON CAME IN AND STOLE IT TOO, YOU FUCKER LMAO

EPISODE 21, LET’S GO

Yamato I’m sure you could explain a few things to Takeru while you’re just chasing Skull Knightmon

Ah Devimon, your arms are as long as always, how wonderful

Ah, more Xros Wars rep! Splashmon! :D

TAKERU WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING

YOU JUST GOT HERE LITTLE CHILD, DON’T JUST JUMP INTO THE HOLE HEAD FIRST, YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU’RE DOING

Oh wow Devimon had prepared an Evil Incubator for Angemon’s Digiegg, how fast and nice

Poor baby is gonna get super corrupted, eh?

IT’S SO NICE... TO SEE THESE FAMILY MEMBERS OF THE KIDS, LOOKING SAME AS ALWAYS AND STUFF

Oh wow did Koushirou just hack the Digivices, WOW

IT IS CALAMARAMON! I KNEW IT, FUCK, I am so enjoying the Frontier/Xros Wars rep rn, thanks Toei, I wub you

Is that another nuke? Are they launching another nuke? No? Just a massive crash at a dock?

I was just gonna complain about Psi having a serious case of Takuya & Kouji Show-syndrome but if Sora and co get to deal with the threat in the Network while Taichi and Yamato are rescuing Angemon’s egg, I’ll be okay with it

Takeru, your Powers of Adorable will not save the world, I’m sorry, you’re just gonna get yourself killed and/or kill Yamato a third heart attack, PLEASE GO BACK

Holy shit METALGREYON NOOOOOOO DON’T HURT HIM LIKE NOOOOOOOO MY BABY ;A;

THAT IS A BIG EYE WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT

A Digimon that was sealed away by Devimon or something? IDK it’s kinda scawy

METALGREYMON NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

TAICHI PLEASE SAVE HIM ;_; YAMATO GO HELP HIM YOU WIMP

OWO WHAT'S THIS

A NEW METALGREYMON VARIANT? (Or a different Mode?)

Tbh the new cannon kida clashes with MetalGrey’s oldschool design a lil BUT IT’S FINE, IT’S COOL

Agumon deserves a nap

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT

ELDORADIMON???? IS IT OH IT TOTALLY IS, RIGHT? YEAH

I love the textures on his face, the pencil strokes look really cool

EPISODE 22 WOOO

I think I’ve complained about this before but it has kinda bothered me before how the Digimon don’t have to rest or eat before entering into battle again, and like, while it’s been mostly fine up until now... Like ever since the kids entered the Fake Tokyo they have pretty much been fighting non-stop without resting or eating and like, it’s starting to get to me, their stamina to keep on fighting is a bit much and it’s just gonna keep on going until Devimon’s dead, isn’t it

How are you climbing this wall that’s this god damn steep, you are a little child HOW DO YOU HAVE THE MUSCLES FOR THIS, I’M A GROWN ASS ADULT I DON’T HAVE THE MUSCLES FOR IT

Gabumon is a sweetheart and I would die for him

Koushirou, why didn’t you have your partners evolve faster, jesus christ (like I’ll give Gomamon and Palmon a break but the other two? Jesus)

Oh that DigiEgg is getting so super corrupted, isn’t it? Oh yeah, Devimon is trying to turn Angemon into a fallen angel like him, amazing

I wish Skull Knightmon had like a personality... In fact I wish all of the enemies had personalities beyond Devimon being ominous and Orgemon dumb with lots of honor

Jyou is gonna get in such great shape from running up those stairs- he ain’t skipping Leg Day, not today

Skull Knightmon is so cool I wish he had more of a personality ;_; I wanna root for him but beyond doing cool shit he has nothing going for him

Ah, the upgrade to MetalGrey wasn’t permanent, just a temporary buff from the power of Courage

DARK KNIGHTMON! YEAAAH

I hope Eldoradimon is okay with all this chaos happening inside him; like I hope he doesn’t get an upset stomach from this

THE BABY TOLD YOU TO MOVE, SO MOVE, KNIGHTMON!

Poor Calamaramon died without ever getting a personality ;_;

How the fuck is this infact making these gigantic leaps over great distances

God Takeru you are so cute, you widdle baby you

Oh man the hightech wings really don’t fit with the punk look of WereGarurumon at all

Welp the DigiEgg got dipped in the miasma like an egg in soy sauce, Press F for Patamon, say “hi” to Tsukaimon

Oooo the egg is exploding! :D

Oh, the egg... I mean it didn’t explode but it destroy the fortress

POYOMON! :D

Devimon, are ya gonna finally show up in person

YEAHHHHHHH DEVIMON!!!! YOU LOOK SO PRETTY I MISSED YOU YOU EDGY GOTH BASTARD

OOOO DEVIMON AND ANGEMON GO BACK? THEY HAVE A HISTORY? Well this is a ship I’m into, let’s go

EPISODE 23!

DEVIMON AND ANGEMON USED TO BE FRIIIIIENDS ohhhhhhhhh I wanna know more about their history THIS IS A JUICY SHIP RIGHT HERE

Ohhh he is so OP, I love that, thanks

How’d MetalGrey and WereGaruru get the message to use the rubble as cover? Not that it worked really

Devimon can use finger beams, lovely

Sora and co should really evolve to Perfect, like they should’ve evolved earlier to begin with

OH SHIT, WE GOT EVOLUTION ALREADY! I mean it’s only Tokomon, which ain’t that useful rn, but okay

Oh Devimon just gave Tokomon this angry-ex look oh my god

I wonder if Devimon’s plan was to like, bypass the need to use humans directly to evolve, instead using the data from humans to forcibly bring forth evolution

NeoDevimon isn’t as cool and sexy as vanilla Devimon, F

Honestly I’m kinda sad he evolve to begin with because Devimon was already super OP, like he didn’t evolve because he was losing, he evolve because his ex made him angry (although I mean I guess that is funny)

Oh WereGarurumon can just do the wing thing at will? Seems OP but okay

Ah, but I know Devimon isn’t dead yet... Saw the new Digimon Bandai shared on Twitter, the new Devimon form that is VERY SEXY (IDK if this needs to be stated but I do say “sexy” here ironically)

OH, Dark Knightmon, you’re still alive? You gonna take lead from now on?

Ohohohohohoh let’s go, gimme that new Devimon

OH MAN, IT WASN’T THIS EPISODE? HE’S SHOWING UP IN THE NEXT EPISODE? Boo, now I gotta wait :(

So I saw some memes on Twitter (along with the art of the new Digi), them including Taichi dying, dark evolution, a clip from the Adventure dub finale where Agumon’s like “next time I’ll evolve into one of the Dark Masters” so like

NEXT EPISODE IS GONNA FUN, also I’m kinda unsure if I wanna watch the preview or not... Like I already know so much out-of-context so I’m afraid if the preview is gonna tell me even more to a point it gets too much, or if it should be fine...

No, I have no chill, Psi has been teasing Mugendramon to me this whole god damn time, I NEED TO KNOW IF WE GET MUGENDRAMON LIKE THE MEMES PROPHESIZED, I NEED TO KNOW

PREVIEW!

LMAO IT REALLY DOES JUST START WITH “TAICHI DIES” JKSDFHKJSDFGJSFDGHJ

OH MAN WE ARE GONNA GET MUGENDRAMON AREN’T WE

I’M SO EXCITED

ALSO DOWNDEVIMON OHOHOHHOHOHO

NEXT EPISODE IS GONNA BE GOOOD I can’t wait

[we-want-mini-mini]

Because I fell in love with the previous prompt/oneshot I wrote about an OC falling into the DC universe (specifically Gotham) and wants to avoid the Vigilantes/Wayne and Co but fucking fails at it (or succeeds, who knows).

This one shot is about—

The Reluctant Executive Assistant To Lex Luthor, Who Also Is A Supervillian

Masterlist | Pervious Post Regarding This Oneshot

Warnings! Strong language, mentions of disassociation, mentions of body dysphoria, non-graphic description of violence, probably OOC Lex Luthor, shitty spelling and grammar oh my!

LIA WONDERED WHAT SHE DID TO ANGER THE UNIVERSE, what she did so heinous, so deplorable, so bastardly to be punished in this way. She reclined into her plush sofa, her eyed glazed over, as they seemingly stared beyond the cream colored walls of her small Metropolis apartment. On her coffee table, laid a stack of papers. Papers that were at least a couple inches thick, filled with long winded explanations, language that could confuse anyone, and an agreement to become Lex Luthors god damn Executive Assistant.

I’m basically going to be a glorified Secretary, for one of the most powerful men in the world... Whose also a raging fucking Supervillain too. Lia thought with a groan, rubbing her face. Her mind whirled with various thoughts, plans and so, oh so much more. The fact that she’s been offered such a prestigious job, at the tender age of 23 years old. A job as the right hand to a fucking Supervillain, Jesus Christ...

Ever since Lia woke up in her doppelgänger’s body, all those years ago, she made a decision that she would never involve herself with the various vigilantes of this world. But, considering she lived in Gotham before this, she had to cope with the fact that her city had various Vigilantes running around, doing whatever they were doing. But, Lia had the upper hand you see: the world she came from, all the Vigilantes and hero’s were fictional characters! Thus, she knew all their origin stories, secret identities and the like. In her pervious world, every kid knew that Superman was unassuming reporter Clark Kent of the Daily Planet. Who also happened to be Lia’s next door neighbor. You know what, I’m not even going to go down that rabbit hole. Nope. Nah. I’m good.

But, adjusting to life in her new body wasn’t a simple walk in the park. She had to adjust to a whole new city (perviously Lia lived in New York, which was the inspiration for Gotham but still). A whole new environment that became desensitized to the causal, practically fanatasical acts of violence ranging from man made super blizzards, the occasional alien invasion and etc. Not to mention, Lia had to cope with the fact she, in essence, lived in an entirely different body. The first two years of living in this world, Lia struggled with dissociation and body dyshoria at the fact that one: she now lived in a completely different world compared to her pervious world, and two: she inhabited a body that, yes is her, but, at the same time, wasn’t her.

Thank goodness mom realized what was happening and shipped my ass off to the few non-supervillain therapist in Gotham. Lia thought with a huff like laughter.

Her eyes then soon trailed too the stack of papers Lex Luthor gave, ones that detailed her contract of becoming his Executive Assistant. One, that would make her one of the most powerful women in the US by being the right hand of Lex Luthor. Who also is a fucking supervillain, god damn it.

Lia vowed to herself to never involve herself with the various superheroes, vigilantes, or villains of her new world. She wanted to live a normal as possible life, not wanting to have such a heavy responsibility of being a hero on her alreayd aching shoulders. She did not want to get involved in the drama that often plagued those who entered that life. She did not want to endanger her family (or herself) because she has connections with people who are vigilantes. Specifically, when she was a student at Gotham U, she avoided anything surrounding the Wayne’s (considering they are the infamous Bats and Birds that protect Gotham and her people). Likely, the only times she ever saw said infamous Vigilantes were the few unlucky times she was in a hostage situation and when she was about to be mugged those couple of times.

As far as interactions outside of their vigilante identities, she’s bumped into Bruce Wayne shopping with Damian, Stephanie, Cassandra and Tim. And oh boy, oh boy, did Lia pray to any deities out their to make sure this was the first and last time she ever met them. Her only words to Bruce Wayne (also fucking Batman) was a high pitched apology and the wish to be smited by God that very second. She’s also bumped in Dick Grayson the one time she visited some friends in Blüdhaven in a coffee shop. They struck up conversation, and it wasn’t till the end of the conversation did she realize who it was. After that, she always went out with headphones in her ears as they are the universal symbol of Don’t Talk To Me. And as for Jason, she’s seen Red Hood when she was out late at a 24/7 7/11, picking up some food. Frankly, Lia was to strung up on zero sleep and pure caffeine and spite to honestly give a single shit. Lia vaguely remembered wanting a specific thing, and Red Hood also reaching for it. She snatched said snack with a word, ignoring Red Hoods existence completely. The cashier looked like they saw a ghost but, as always, Lia was tired to give a single flying shit.

However, Lia’s paranoia didn’t simmer down. So much so, that she applied for an internship at LexCorp, her excuse being she wanted to have a change of scenery. While working at LexCorp, she gained considerable amount of knowledge and experience, but compromised with her mom that, after her internship finished up in LexCorp, she’s go to WE and work there. Lia had deep seeded concerns about working at WE, but after going back and forth in her head, she decided that, fuck it. It’s a gigantic ass company. There’s such a low percentage of me ever crossing paths with one of the Waynes and Co. Plus, mom drives a hard bargain. And damn, do I honestly miss Gotham. It’s so damn bright here. And it’s called fucking Metroplis of all things.

Before Lia could further brood about what her life had become, the sound of her doorbell flooded Lia’s ears. Lia’s eyebrows scrunched together, did I order something? But, she shrugged to herself, springing to her feet. Better find out then, I guess.

When Lia opened the door, she expected, say, a delivery person, or, a neighbor asking to borrow something. What she did not expect was her 5’3” mother, standing next to a 6-something, rather muscular, but familiar figure of—HOLY SHIT IT’S SUPERMAN, WHAT THE FUCK—

Next to her mothers petite figure, was the gargantuan stature of one Clark Kent, AKA, Superman. Lia could feel her blood pressure rise.

“Mom! Mr. Kent! What a nice surprise.” Lia said, through a tight lipped smile. Her mother simply smiled, laughing lightly.

“Habibi, it’s been such a long time—and, wait did you loose weight?” Her mother’s once smiling face turned sour, her eyebrows pinched together in worry. Her warm brown eyes trailing up and down Lia’s figure. Lia’s face immediately warmed up a few degrees, then her mother took hold of her face, examining it closer. Lia let out a indignant squawk, “Mom! Not infront of the neighbor please!”

Clark simply laughed, “No, it’s alright. I can understand a mother’s worry as my own Ma does the same thing whenever she visits.”

Her mother nodded, “See! He doesn’t mind, habibi. Now, it’s been a while since I’ve seen you. Mr. Kent, if you would be a dead, could help me set the food on the table?”

Clark smiles, his teeth a little too white and dazzling. “Of course! But please, call me Clark.”

Her mother laughed, while nodding. “Of course, Clark. Now, come in, come in.” Her mother said, inviting Lia’s neighbor into her apartment. She let out a sigh, moving out of the way.

Before long, Clark, Lia and her mother were setting up dinner. Somehow, someway, Lia’s mother convinced Clark to stay for dinner, while sending meaningful glances towards Lia. Lia wanted to jump out of her window. Knowing that her mother would always be her wingwomen, was, strangely nice, but this time? Trying to set her up with fucking Superman? Nope. Nah. No happening mom, no matter how hot Clark looks. Not. Happening.

Her mother, soon strikes up conversation with Clark about work. He talks about the Daily Planet, and being a reporter. Soon, the topic veers to Lia, whose honestly forgotten that Clark was Superman for a couple minutes.

“...on the topic of internships, my Lia currently interns at LexCorp, if I’m not wrong.” Her mother says, sending a pointed look to Lia.

“Uh. Yeah. I’m currently working at LexCorp as an intern.” Lia says, watching for Clark’s reaction at the fact that she works for his biggest nemesis. She can see it, the infantasmal flinch, before he relaxes again.

“Oh, is that so? From what your mother said, didn’t you live in Gotham before coming to Metropolis?” He inquires, setting down some plates on Lia’s dining table. Lia freezes up, since, she can’t just say: Well, you see, I know the identities of Gotham’s infamous vigilantes, who happen to also run and own WE.

“Well, I wanted a change of scenery really.” Lia added smoothly, taking out all the food and sorting them. She kept her face and tone neutral, watching Clark’s every move and reaction.

His face had a knowing look, as he gave a small nod. “I can understand that. Gotham and Metropolis are two very different cities and wanting a change of scenery is a fine reason for moving.”

Lia hums noncommittally, while her mother sighs. “I still wished you would’ve stayed in Gotham, you know. It’s closer and I worry for you, Habibi.”

Lia buffs through her nose. “Mom. I’m 24 and very much so capable of protecting myself, considering you were the one who taught me how to knock a man thrice my size out in a single punch since I was 7.”

Clark makes a sort strangled noise and covers it up with a cough. Lia’s mother simple sighs, her face showing her true age. “Of course your capable of defending yourself. Why would I let my daughter out and about in Gotham of all places with being able to defend herself? I just worry, ya habibi. This is a whole new city and you also live by yourself.”

“I’ve been living by myself since I was 18, mom.” Lia interjected but her mother gives her a look.

“Yes, you have been living by yourself since you were 18 but at least you were nearby. I worry, regardless of the fact.”

Lia sighs. They’ve had this talk numerous times, before Lia moved to Metropolis and before she even uttered her concerns about wanting to move. “I know.” She says softly.

The conversation dies out, as everything soon is set. However, before they could start eating, Lia’s mother spots the stack of papers.

“Lia, what with the stack of papers?” She inquired, her head gesturing to the coffee table.

“The stack of what?” Lia yelled out, as she was in the kitchen getting a jug of water. Her mother, whose curiosity guided her, got up from her seat and took ahold of the papers.

“The papers on your coffee table. What are they for?” She asked again, when she heard Lia set the jug of water down.

Lia, whose brain was preoccupied with a million other thoughts, carelessly said the phrase: “Oh, my contract to become Executive Assistant to Lex Luthor.”

Clark almost dropped what he was holding, before discreetly catching it with his super speed. Lia’s mother stilled, her eyes wide as saucers, her lips slightly parted.

“Your what to whom?” Her mother asked, her tone beyond incredulous.

Lia short circuited. She realized what she just said. In front of fucking Superman. In front of her mother. Fuck. Why does the universe hate me?

Before Clark could say anything else on the matter, his phone buzzed. The mother daughter pair snapped their gaze at Clark, whose face grew even more surprised.

“Oh. I’m sorry, I have to go. Something urgent just came up.” He said, shoving his phone back into his pant pocket. The mother-daughter pair simply nodded, as they watched a slightly frantic Clark Kent shuffle out of Lia’s small apartment.

When they heard Lia’s apartment door shut closed, her mother’s head whipped towards Lia’s. Her face went rigid, the past surprise at the new was scrubbed away, being replaced with a cold, calculative look. She gestured to Lia to sit down, at the dining table.

Lia, who simply stared at her for a while, sighed, before taking the opposite seat across from her mother. She knew this conversation will be a long one, thus, she started to pile on the food her mother brought.

“The contract in your hands, is a contract between me and Lex Luthor. It’s about me becoming his Executive Assistant.”

Her mother hummed, while also taking some food. “So, you’re going to be his right hand, essentially?”

Lia nodded. Well, sure. I’m technically a glorified secretary with a lot of power now. But sure, right hand is a lot more appealing. But she didn’t voice those thoughts, simply taking a bite of her food.

“Well, this took a turn I did not expect it too.” Her mother said with a sigh.

“You and me both, mom.”

Lia never would’ve imagined, not in a million Earths, would she become Lex-fucking-Luthors Executive Assistant. She honestly thought she would finish her internship without much fanfare and move back to Gotham to apply for a position at the WE.

“So,” her mother began, setting her fork down. “How the hell did you catch Luthors eye?”

“Well, it’s a bit of a long story but...”

A COUPLE DAYS AGO, the department in which Lia was interning suddenly lost a handful of employees who quit for whatever reason. Not to mention, an important meeting was scheduled and was now completely fucked due to these employees leaving. Plus, some other important event was also going on with some higher level execs and that was also in jeopardy. Lia, who was witnessing this utter shit storm in real time, realized, oh fuck. This is bad. Really bad. And decided to do something about it. Lia, at the time, was known in her department as someone who can manage a schedule like no ones business, convince people to do things her way like it was as easy as drinking water. She had a reputation and the department head was a chicken whose head was cut off, trying to put out the proverbial fires one by one, rather ineffectively. Lia, who made friends with various other interns in other departments (who worked with other high level employees), and who had various connections in Metropolis, was able to salvage most of the day (and subsequent week). She was able to fill in those positions rather quickly (the department head was more then happy to oblige), re-schedule the various important meetings and events that were scheduled that in under three hours after some (what Lia called) “aggressive persuasion”. Somehow, someway, the story of some intern with godly management abilities, persuasion skills made its way up to the big man himself: Lex Luthor.

When Lex Luthor heard of this, he became intrigued. Thus, he called Lia up, all the way to his office. Lia, who when was told that fucking Lex Luthor himself wanted to see her, was understandably shitting bricks. Her mind immediately went to the fact that somehow, someway, he figured out that Lia knew the identities of various vigilantes. Lia, who was reasonably terrified at the thought, began to draw up counter arguments and contingencies.

The entire way to Lex Luthor’s office Lia went through the seven stages of grief (the extra two are Denial 2 and astral projection). She thanked those she loved, and made her not peace with God. When Lia finally arrived to Luthors office, she immediately compartmentalized all her feelings, slapped on her most convincing cooperate smile, and knocked on his door, saying in the most polite and calm tone she could muster: “Mr. Luthor? You called for me, Lia al-Abadi?”

The moment she heard the muffled “come in.” Lia sent one more prayer to whatever deity out their, and strode into Luthors office.

Now, Lia has seen pictures and clips of Luthors office. But, it was one thing too see it and another to be in it. Lia, when entering the large office, with Luthor facing the window out looking Metropolis, felt her heart drop all the way to the earths core.

Her hands were discreetly balled up in her sides, her nails digging crescent shaped moons into the palm of her hand. The shirt underneath her blazer was definitely soaked through, but, thankfully, Lia wore a black blazer today, so it wasn’t that noticeable. Probably. Hopefully.

Lia took in a deep breath, trying to calm her hammering heart. “Mr. Luthor?” She called out, her voice surprisingly even. Her heart hammered against her chest, so hard, it seemed it would burst through any moment. God, what the fuck is my life anymore.

Luthor, being the dramatic ass Supervillian that he is, spun around, his hands clasped together as he faced Lia, sitting in a typical, large, black, swivel chair. The only thing he was missing was the white cat in his lap. 

Lia could feel herself die a little when she made direct eye contact with the man, the legend, the Asshole, himself: Lex god damn Luthor.

“Ah, Ms. al-Abadi, please, do sit down.” He said, his voice uncharacteristically bright and inviting. But, Lia knows better then to trust the fox when it was simling. She could see the calculative glint in his eyes. Carefully, she walked towards Luthor, who kept his picture prefect smile. The only thing that filled Lia in for the eternally long, yet short walk towards Luthor was the clicks of her heel, and her heart hammering against her eardrums.

Her hand, which she forced to keep steady, took ahold of the chair, dragging it away from the desk. The ugly screeches of the chair legs against the marble floor still reasonated through Lia’s ears. But, at least she saw the slightly—almost invisible—eye twitch that gave away his annoyance.

Lia, who kept her face devoid of any emotions, slowly sat down. Her eyes still focused on Luthors stupid smiling face.

When she sat down (finally, Jesus Christ that was a lot more anxiety inducing then I thought) she kept her back straight, shoulder squared and her hands on her lap. She could still feel her heart beating hard against her rib cage, and the million thoughts of Luthor somehow finding out about Lia and her knowledge of the identities of the various vigilantes. Her hands became clammy, her entire being screamed, I AM VERY UNCOMFORTABLE! but, Lia was stuck in between the proverbial rock and a hard place (rock: chair, hard place: Luthor’s office).

Her lips stretched into her patented cooperate smile, “You had called for me, Mr. Luthor, sir?”. Fuck my life. Lia thought, still smiling while she slowly died on the inside.

Luthor bared his teeth, lips stretched into a smile. “Please, call me Lex, Ms. al-Abadi.”

Lia, with ever cell in her very being, absolutely rebelled at the prospect of calling Lex Luthor just Lex. For one, he’s her boss, and Lia was raised to be polite. Second, Lia only ever referred to Lex Luthor either as Luthor or Lex Luthor, never just Lex. Third, Lex Luthor is a goddamn Supervillain, no fucking way am I calling him by his first name.

Lia’s fave stretched out into a tight lipped smile. “I’m afraid cannot do that, Mr. Luthor.” She said through gritted teeth, face still stretched out into a tight lipped smile.

Luthor cocked his eyebrow. “Oh? And why is that?”

For one, your Supervillain. Second, me saying your first name, and just your first name, tiggers my flight or fight response. Lia, of course, did not response to Lex Luthor’s question with that reply. Instead she said, “For one, Mr. Luthor, you are my boss and I am your employee. Employees don’t generally refer to their boss by their first names. Secondly, me referring to you by your first name implies that I am in some way, shape or form, close to you. Considering this is my first time ever meeting you personally, I can’t—” Won’t “—refer to you by your first name.”

A beat of silence. Lia, who continued to smile at Luthor as he stared at her for a good few moments, before lightly chuckling.

“Well, when you put it like that, Ms. al-Abadi, I cannot disagree. However, I do hope in the near future you would be more comfortable calling me Lex rather then Mr. Luthor.” He said, his face all smiles.

For a moment, Lia was confused. She was simply a temporary intern that would leave in about two months, how would she hypothetically warm up to Luthor enough so to call him Lex? Plus, what he said also implied that Lia would stay in LexCorp long enough to warm up to Luthor.

Then a thought crossed Lia’s mind. Wait, does he want to be my sugar daddy?? Which Lia immediately shot down, as, this is Lex Luthor, why the fuck would he be interested in being my sugar daddy? Even though I am fucking beautiful, thats for sure. But still. Lia shuddered at the thought before getting back on the topic at hand.

“Mr. Luthor, I am just a simple intern that will be leaving in about two months. I don’t understand how I would be able to get close to you enough so that I refer to you by your first name,” Lia said.

Then another thought crossed her mind, “Unless, you’re planning on making me a full time employee?” There was a slight tilt in Lia’s voice, her eyebrows slightly pinched together. Lia, however, racks her brain for any reason why Lex Luthor of all people would personally call her to his office just to say he’s going to hire her as a full time employee.

Luthor nodded, “Precisely, Ms. al-Abadi. But, I don’t just want to make you any full time employee, that would simply be a waste of your talent and potential.” He said, reaching for one of his drawers, pulling out a stack of papers.

A wave of confusion wash over Lia. Talent? Potential? The fuck did I do to catch Luthors attention of all people? “I’m not sure what you mean by my ‘talent and potential’, Mr. Luthor.” She said, while shaking her head. She honestly didn’t think of anything note worthy enough to catch a awfully busy man like Luthor.

A flash of confusion flickered through Luthors face before being plastered with another smile. “Ms. al-Abadi, I’m sure you know your reputation among the other interns, right?”

Lia’s eyes narrowed, as she hesitantly nodded. She was infamous for managing a clusterfuck of a schedule into an actual, mangable schedule. Lia was also known for her “aggressive persuasion” tactics and the like.

“Not to mention, the situation in which many employees from the department you interned in, quit. Resulting in many important events and meetings to be up in the air. Not to mention some other notable things that happened that day.” Luthor said, matter of factly.

And, he wasn’t wrong. But the fact that Luthor knew of that utter shitstorm raised more then a few alarms in Lia’s head. The situation that occurred that day was promptly swept under the rug and Lia only complained about the situation to a couple intern friends and her brother. Then, the face of Ana—an intern from the PR Department—flashed through Lia’s eyes. Lia wanted to strangle herself. Of course she told fucking loose lipped Ana about situation that never should’ve reached Luthor’s ears, god fucking damn it. No matter how much Lia wanted to groan and fight God, she kept her composure.

Lia gulped down, rubbing her hands as another smile made its way onto her lips. “Well, I simply did what had to.” I had pull so many fucking favors, and most of my god damn grey hairs are from that day, Jesus Christ. Whenever Lia remembered that day, her face (internally) soured, and the need for her to curse out God, the universe, whoever, was so great she had to bite her tongue (literally) to force herself not to go on a 20 minute rant about the entire situation. Still, even with her bubbling feelings of pure, unbridled rage, Lia kept her composure. This is a professional environment. I’m infront of my boss. Whose one of the most powerful man in the US. Whose also a raging Supervillain. I have to stay professional. Professional...

“Nonsense, Ms. al-Abadi. From what I heard, you had a situation presented to you, a situation that was falling at the seems no less—and somehow salavaged it. In under three hours, you were able to salvage the situation, reorder them schedule and was able to avert a scandal as well.”

Lia, for whatever reason, felt her face grow hot at the praise. She, of course, knew how shitty the situation became—did what she always did—complained a bit, and moved on. Planning, reorganizing, improvising plans on the go, and her “aggressive persuasion” is something Lia always did. She didn’t find such things awfully notable, as she’s been doing this sort of thing since the ninth grade.

“T-That’s—” Lia cleared her throat. “That’s quit a bit of praise, Mr. Luthor, considering I didn’t do much aside from reorganize and persuased a few people. Nothing that I consider rather notable, enough so to earn your attention.” Unnecessary attention, was left unsaid.

Luthor simply smiled, his teeth too white and straight for Lia’s eyes. “You might consider it unnotable, but I beg to differ.”

Then beg—Lia almost retorted, but she caught the phrase before it could ever leave. Fucking siblings.

Luthor pushes the stack on papers closer Lia. “Which is why—I want you, Ms. Lia al-Abadi, to become my Executive Assistant.”

Lia, when she heard the words Executive Assistant concluded that the universe hates her and that she will make preparations to fight God.

Safe to say, Lia was just offered a prestigious position, next to Lex Luthor, to be his Executive Assistant. The same Lex Luthor who is actively fighting against Superman—the Justice League at large—and it an overall Supervillain. One of Superman’s most noteworthy Supervillian. A Supervillian, who can potentially kill Superman because he has access to a grow, green rock. A Supervillian who made a clone of Superman—combing his and Superman’s DNA—to do so. The same Supervillain, who essentially was asking: “Do you want to be my right hand?”

“You want me to be your what?” Lia asked in an incredulous tone. She looked at the stack of papers and Luthor several times, while pointing to herself. “Me? A 23 year old, with barely any experience in the cooperate world, work as your Executive Assistant?”

Luthor, surprisingly, nodded, his face not showing a hint of annoyance. “Yes, I am. Of course, you should take your time to think over my offer. It is Friday, and I’ll be expecting your answer next Monday. Come to my office at 3 PM, next Monday, and we’ll talk some more, Ms. al-Abadi. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have another meeting to get too.”

Next thing Lia knew, she was holding onto a stack of papers, in an elevator, going down back to her original office. When she came back, several people commented on how dazed and pale she looked. One of her supervisors even asked if she wanted the rest of the day off (as there wasn’t much left to do, either way). Lia, who was still reeling from the events that had just transpired, graciously accepted.

Lia’s mother, who kept on listening to the entire ordeal, from start to finish simply commented. “Well, damn.”

Lia groaned, her hands rubbing her face. “‘Well, damn’? That’s all you have to say on the fact that one of the most powerful man in America offering me a position as his god damn Executive Assistant?”

“Hey! It’s a lot for me to take in, and, it must a lot for you to take in.” Her mother said, reaching out, taking a hold of Lia’s hand. She gave a comforting squeeze.

“Yeah, it was...” Lia mumbled. She sighed, her eyes on the stack of papers detailing what Lia’s responsibilities were, and some other key information. The stack of papers that could change her life with a single stroke of a pen.

“So, what are you going to do? Accept Luthors offer, or...?”

“It’d be dumb for me not to accept it.”

“Damn right it would be!”

Lia shoot her mother a look, before continuing, “It’s just... I’m only 23 and me getting this job is just... There’s a lot to consider. Sure, I’m good at managing schedules, persuading people and—” Her mother snorted, waving her hand.

“Hey! I am good at all those things, you know.” Lia exclaimed, crossing her arms.

Her mother raised both her hands, shaking her head. “Never said you were bad at them, Habibi. Your a damn genius when it comes to organizing events and persuading people. Not good, not great, but a god damn genius.” Her mother voice clearly showing how proud she was of Lia.

The tips of Lia’s ears were painted bright red, as her face spilt into a grin. “Yeah, yeah, I guess I am. But, the matter at hand is that, I don’t have much experience in the cooperate world. And, I just graduated a couple months ago. Not to mention, if I accept the position, there’s going to be a lot of talk on how, I, a 23 year old, rather attractive women, who just recently graduated from Gotham U, who was just a regular intern, managed to get the position of Executive Assistant to Lex Luthor.”

Her mother sighed. “True, there definitely will be rumors regarding how earned such a position without much prior experience.”

Lia sagged in her seat, her mind a tornado of thoughts. Should she accept? Should she decline? Should she msyteriously disappear off the face of the Earth, never to be seen again? Decisions, decision, so many decisions with so many consequences and variables at play that made Lia’s head ache. She had time, but not enough. It was late in the evening on Friday, and Luthor wanted an answer by Monday afternoon. Great. Just a couple dozen hours till D-Day. Fan-fucking-tastic.

“What about a trial basis?” Her mother blurted out. Lia cocked her eyebrow, gesturing for her to continue.

“Like, what if, you were his Executive Assistant for a couple of months, on a trial basis. Just to dip your toes in and get a feel for the job. That sort of thing.” She said with a shrug.

Lia’s eyes widen, as if a light bulb went off her head. “Oh my god. Why didn’t I think of that? That’s prefect! Not only would it allow me ample time to see if I’m ready for such a position, but also invaluable experience if I were too not take the position or Luthor deemed me unworthy of it.”

With a sort of plan set in mind, Lia continued to eat, all with a smile on her face. Even if after the trial basis, Luthor deems me unfit, I still get away with a couple months worth of pay that would pay off my student loans, not to mention invaluable experience. I win regardless of the fact if I get the job or I don’t!

With the sun setting, and Lia eating her fill, while catching up with her mother on other past events, Lia can’t seem to stop smiling. Even if she’s going to become the (Reculant) Executive Assistant to Lex Luthor, who also is a Supervillian.

That’s it folks! I had a lot of fun writing this in all honesty, even though it’s not that good. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Till next time.