#holding myself back from saying more | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cyberspacenine · 9 months ago

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everyone in the ace attorney universe who said will powers is ugly/scary is a LIAR with BAD TASTE. he's a friendly handsome bear who loves gossip. i need to go to a gay bar with him

#will powers #ace attorney #holding myself back from saying more

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presidentkamala · 5 days ago

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I need to Get Out of this hole!!!!!!!!!

#this is entirely my own fault but like. i put everything - everything - in my life on hold since the insurrection and just threw myself #into the job #but now that im being personally victimized & traumatized daily by elon musk the entire GOP AND pam bondi #im just looking around like. what have i been doing the last 5 years???#and i did everything!!!! in my power to get kamala elected #so in one way.....like no regrets on the upholding my oath and duties as a citizen etc etc the humble but noble fed profession etc etc #and will likely lose my job/benefits within the next month #Whyyy didnt i just go back to school or take up more hobbies or have a more well-rounded life?#what stopped me from making more friends and doing and seeing more?#why could I never muster an interest in dating or a side hustle or even just learning how to live a Real Life?#and thats not to say i dont you know do my little workouts and go to the happy hours and read the books and do my bad lil sketches #but its like ive totally regressed in every non-work area of my life from where i was in 2021 #just from a lack of attention.......#anyway young people uhhhh DONT do this lol

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joemerl · 2 years ago

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"But he had not that supreme gift of the artist, the knowledge of when to stop."

It's weird to read this in a Sherlock Holmes story, because it's such a great point about art but he's talking about a murder scheme.

#I keep finding myself saying “less is more” when I'm reading because too many writers don't know when to hold back.#You can ruin a great line by stretching it into a paragraph.#Writing #Art #Creativity #Sherlock Holmes #The Adventure of the Norwood Builder #Arthur Conan Doyle #Letters from Watson

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todayisafridaynight · 6 months ago

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i’m pretty surprised that you can be in a fandom without really checking the tags regularly for new content or discussions that’s pretty impressive

ive got twitter for that and twitter has shown me enough as is

#snap chats #i dont even check twitter specifically for rgg its just that my algorithms been formed that way cause friends send me tweets #on the real though jvALEKJEKL ive always. how you say. played with dolls alone #so being alone online isnt hard or anything particularly 'impressive' to me its just how i roll #ive always lived in my head i guess- with my interests that is. its fun up there vlkeajkla #i still like to hear from other people of course but for the most part im happy with just myself im not all that pressed for others #i think its also just. i have. other interests? so i dont really think i want to look at One Particular Thing that day. at least for tumblr #i MIGHT just cause thats how the day goes but i dont think 'i feel like looking at rgg art today'#whatever i see I See and that'll be that yk i love a lot of things and think of a lot of things #evidently SOME things take a hold of me more than others- or ill wanna be more public bout it at least #but thats jsut cause i just feel SO MUCH for Whatever Thing It Is At The Time that i want to share it. so then i do jvlskjs #with that in mind can i really say im 'in' a fandom when i dont particularly interact with it LMAO #again always happy to do so but im like an estranged uncle if anything #come over once a year to drop gifts off then i leave. ill still respond to holiday cards though if theyre sent #also for discussions ill usually just talk to my brother about it since he'll usually be The Main Sponge for my rambling LOLOL #god's strongest soldier i promise i try to hold back but im afraid i feel my brain physically tickle my skull #my brother always has to watch in real time me be consumed by a piece of media. like its a symbiote its really funny #cause at this point we'll meet in the kitchen and ill start like 'you know whats really funny..'#and he'll just. 'ok so who's it about today' LIKE PLEAAAASSSEEE. anyways prepare for my ninth 90 minute lecture about This Character #i also have a friend that i talk about my interests with- not all the time but enough that im like. Yeah Im Good Talkin Bout This #like the dopamine in my brain is activated JUST enough when i get to have quick short convos bout it with her #honestly maybe i should use my blacklisted main and rb ALL of my sideblog posts there #just so the people following that can Also witness me be consumed in real time <- will not do this

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that-foul-legacy-lover · 10 months ago

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Congrats on getting Arlecchino! I'm still trying to hopefully get the update to fit onto my phone lololol. My life will be complete if I can get her, haha.

~ The anon who wanted Kaveh but didn't want Baizhu or Ganyu

thank you!!!! i'm surprised she came home so soon, i usually have to go to soft pity at least but Father really showed up after 20 pulls (it's because we are MARRIED and she WANTED TO /lh)

aaaaaa come on phone!!!!! make space for genshin, we need Arlecchino and we need her NOW

#chit chat #anon #genshin talk #I ALREADY HAVE HER AND HER WEAPON UP TO LEVEL 90 AAAAAA #this weekend i have to artifact farm....... grahhhhh #fingers crossed i get good ones because artifact rng is horrid and My Worst Enemy #also i despise hoyoverse for not making her weekly boss available beforehand #one thing i will say about baizhu being in the second half of the update is that i got to farm weekly boss mats #but noooooo not this time #anyways i have two hands and one is for Foul Legacy and the other is for Arlecchino it's a proven fact #*physically holds myself back from talking about Arlecchino more*

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hibernating-stag · 6 months ago

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I'm gonna hold myself back from making more posts after this one but GGHGHGHH

I just watched Slayers and Millias routes. I'm rattling the bars on my cage. I love learning about this web of relationships going on between the assassins guild it's so GOODD they all compliment and contrast each other in such interesting ways... I'm being so normal right now.

Alright! Venoms route is up next, so I will continue to be normal. Definitely.

#I'm holding myself back from writing more. Im holding it in until I've seen Venom and Zatos routes #but know I have a lot to say I'm picking them apart in my mind as I speak #ESPECIALLY MILLIA #I'm so happy to see more of her- she's been so interesting but I feel like they didnt do a lot with her in ML/X Plus :[#but in HERE?? there's so much to think about with her #i'm so fascinated by the idea of her forbidden beast taking over like Eddie and Zato at this point #... is that where all the angel Millia art comes from?!#guilty gear

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truethes · 5 months ago

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do you think ... the iudex knows how beautiful he is.

#❛ ♡ › jupiter : 𝐨𝐨𝐜.#large image /#FINALLY GOT THROUGH MORE OF THE FONTA.INE AQ TODAY ( a year later everyone literally playing nat.lan rn ... )#but seeing neuvi during this bit? a.) cinema. b.) you know if you need someone to hold your hand ... im right here .... i could take u out #crying at the fact i think him being the hydro sover.eign is a bit of an open secret rn. esp to cl.roinde and wriothes.ley.#them having that bet was everything to me. esp bc neuvi did NOT have a clue.#he would have given them to you both if you needed him to. literally 5 seconds away #also can i just say i loved fur.ina and arle in this chap? arle REALLY standing up for fonta.ine #and fur.inas. TAKE THAT BACK was amazing. i love to see a nervous girl stand up for herself. SHE IS MY ARCHON!#i said today i would do some time gaming and give myself a rest from writing and honestly it's been nice.#i did some more of the wuw.a main questline first ( up to where we search for jin.shi...#then did some of the fyxe.stroll garden event. and then onto this #i will probs make a post tomorrow on where i plan to go from here because honestly i am being a bit self indulgent rn :')#hope you all had a good sunday everyone <3

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exopelagic · 7 months ago

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okay I severely misjudged spaghetti guy he’s actually just really cool

#okay so I came to this flat and he wasn’t here. greeted by a very dirty flat with shit all over the kitchen counters over cling film #I meet first my other flatmate who told me he stays in his room constantly bc of previous bad flatmates #has literally just a saucepan and some salt in the kitchen. so I’m like okay spaghetti guy potentially not great but could just be #how this guy is yknow #on Tuesday I get an email back saying he’s coming back from Norway tonight looking forward to seeing you feel free to use the kitchen sauces #rlly friendly message that I wasn’t expecting. I also didn’t know he’d been on a trip i just knew he wasn’t there bc his door was open #(to a REALLY nice room. multiple rlly nice plants (which he has little care labels for!!!) and it’s tidy and pretty #and he’s got a sheep teddy on the bed)#meanwhile I am in my own head bc I don’t wanna cook in the kitchen until I can clean it and I can’t clean it without moving his shit and #I haven’t seen him yet to talk abt it and I can’t bring myself to talk to him immediately bc I’m dying #and embarrassed as hell by how I’ve been cooking in my room with a microwave and air fryer (loud) and sneaking my shit out of the kitchen #but then yesterday I DO talk to him!! and he’s super friendly!! actually interested in having a conversation and Good at it.#and then he’s cooking and like. spaghetti burns but I’m not there for long and seems to be a mistake (he made the same thing for lunch today #and did Not burn the spaghetti) and is otherwise clearly competent bc the food smells Good and despite leaving a few things out it’s like #washed up stuff isn’t dirty and the sides are better despite still under cling film. more a case that he’s spread out than he’s messy #and now today we talked and i offered to hold onto some shit over summer bc complicated situation that boils down to he’s flying back home #and he cant take all his stuff and had to choose between chucking stuff/having literally nothing this weekend. like sleeping on the sofa etc #and then cleans the whole flat?? which I’m assuming a good chunk is his mess? but he did not need to do that. could’ve easily left #bc there are two people still living here who would’ve had to deal with it and he doesn’t know either at all #and THEN tonight we talk abt food which is fun bc we both ordered stuff. and he offers me some honeydew melon bc he’s been gorging himself #these past two days to finish it before it goes bad/he leaves which is also really sweet #and JUST NOW. I take my headphones out after finishing dinner and hear the sweetest fucking guitar #he plays the gentlest like dreamy sounding acoustic guitar I’ve heard in my life in his room (door closed by the time I leave)#this is actually just a really cool dude #now that the kitchens clear I’m gonna cook tomorrow and will probably offer him some bc otherwise he’s gonna be eating out all weekend #he has extra takeout for tomorrow night but might want smth Sunday #regardless I am just. huh??? left a bit stunned bc of the u turn my opinion of this guy has taken. bc my opinion of him was a reflection #of my discomfort moving to this weird dirty basement flat with two people I didn’t know #well. idk where to go from here. I think I’ll start by talking to him more this weekend. bc holy fucking shit.#luke.txt

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waywardstation · 1 year ago

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May I share a small idea?

You could use the poll as some sort of list for some future WIP Wednesdays. The most popular choice is first and then the next in line comes on the next Wednesday when you got the time and so on.

It could save you plenty of time to prepare something and may lessen the pressure a little!

Obviously it’s up to you but I’m leaving the suggestion here for you to think about.

Hope you’re having a good time and remember to stay hydrated and take care of yourself~!

Oh this is a fantastic idea!! I think I will do this!! (Though I am hoping at least three of the options on there will be going up within the next several weeks, all of them are so so close to completion!!)

I will do this though!! Thank you very much for the suggestion friend, it’s a great idea!!

#i think I realize now why it’s taking so long to get all my fics out and why WIPs keep getting backed up #I have been going back and rewriting the initial chapters of HFBE #my earlier work is not my current writing style #and I know that is obvious #but I will flat out say it’s different because my earlier work was lazier #I remember telling myself all the time not to stress about my writing so much because with Uni I did not have the time to do that #so I’d post work even if I wasn’t happy with how it was #otherwise I’d never get any work out #but now I look at my current writing #and I feel like at least it’s more coherent #and more thought and work is put into it #and I am more proud of my current writing than my earlier writing by a longshot #but that’s coming at the price of almost paralyzing scrutiny #as it’s holding me up from posting #I’ve leaned a little too far into it #and I’ve begun to find a balance where I can move on while still criticizing my own writing and adjusting it a little better #work has been moving more consistently again on them #so I’m expecting that when I do finish my WIPs for posting #it’s going to be a lot at once #(does not help that so many of these fics are all tied to each other and I want to post all the connecting fics in between larger chapters #of my multi-chapter fics #haha)

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im2tired4usernames · 10 months ago

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I hope what ever asshole cultist invited the stay at home daughter movement a very your dick gets rips into bits and eaten by pigs

#the stay at home daughter movement RUINED MY LIFE #IT RUINED MY CHILDHOOD BECAUSE I WAS FROCED TO BE A HOUSE SLAVE AT AT NINE INSTEAD OF A KID #IT RUINED MY HIGHSCHOOL LIFE AND ALL LIFE PLANNING BECAUSE I WAS NOT ALLOWED TO GET MORE THEN THE BY LAW NEEDED SCHOOLING BECAUSE I WAS #WXPECTED TO BE A HOUSE SLAVE TO MY FAMILY UNTIL THEY PAIRED ME OFF TO A HUSBAND THEN ID BW HIS HOUSE SLAVE AND SEX SLAVE BECAUSE MY JOB IS #CLEAN HOUSE COOK POPULATE THE QUIVERFULL AGENDA AND HAVE 160 KIDS THAT'S KIDS AND NO INTEREST NO HOBBY NO INDIVIDUALITY JUST #CHRISTIAN HOUSE SLAVE OOPS I MEAN WIFE AND MOTHER #IT TOOK AWAY ALL AGENCY I HAD IN MY LIFE BECAUSE MY PLACE WAS CLEANING N COOKING NOT SCHOOL NOT JOB NOT FRIENDS NOT GETTING SMART NOT #GETTING INDEPENDENT IT DRIVES YOU TO RELAY ON A MAN COMPLETELY AND TO SUBMIT COMPLETELY YOU HAVE NO SAY YOU ONLY EXIST FOR WHAT WVER JOB TH #MAN WANTS YOU TO HAVE #I HOPE WHOEVER INTERDUCED THIS TO MY PARENTS CULT GETS EATEN SLOWLY AND PAINFULLY #I'VE NEVER TRIED TO BETTER MYSELF GET MORE SCHOOLING GO FOR A DCENT EDUCATION I'VE BEEN FROCED TO BELIEVE I CAN'T SURVIVE BY MYSELF AND #THEY'RE PROBABLY RIGHT BUT FUCK THEY MADE ME SO STUPID AND.I LET THEM BECAUSE I THOUGHT THAT'S WHAT GOD NEEDED #FUCK GOD FUCK RELGIOUS MEN AND FUCK ALL PARENTS WHO PURPOSELY SABOTAGE AND HOLD BACK THEIR CHILDREN FOR THEIR BENEFIT #I'M ANGRY #I DIDN'T DESERVE THAT LIFE I NEED TO FUCKIN GET OUT OF THIS CULTIST HELL I'M TIRED OF LIVING BY THESE STANDARDS AND RULES I WANT A SAY IN MY #LIFE I WANT A LIFE INDEPENDENT FROM GOD AND HIS FOLLOWERS I WANT A SAY IN MY LIFE #I WANT TO BE A PERSON AND NOT PROPERTY OF NO ONE NOT MY FATHER NOT MY MOTHER NOT MY BROTHERS NOT MY HUSBAND NOT GOD FUCK THEM ALLLLLL I WANT #TO BELONG TO ME AND ONLY ME AND I WISH I HAD A WAY OUT THAT I COULD SEE AND ACTUALLY OBTAIN BUT I JUST DON'T #I DON'T HAVE ANY HOPE FOR ANYTHING BECAUSE THE STEPS WILL NEVER BE TAKEN FOR THINGS TO GET BETTER I WILL DIE A DAUGHTER AT HOME I WILL DIE #SERVING THIS CULT AND THEY WILL USE MY CORPSE FOR WHATEVER SERVES THEM ALSO MY NAME WILL BE USED IN WHATEVER WAY PLEASES THEM #I WILL NEVER BE MYSELF I WILL NEVER GET AWAY EVER IT'LL JUST BE IN DAYDREAMS AND WORDS BUT NEVER REALITY

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dandyshucks · 11 months ago

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second life tip in 24 hours: pls do not drift by lunch esp if u have mental health struggles as is, you will suffer the quencies severely T^T

#i ran out of food in the house fhfjdkl bc i did not get groceries last week #so I've been scavenging the last couple days #and rationing stuff before that #and man. I shan't say more but. yeah. the quencies.#sifting thru many articles and studies abt covid also did not help my well-being but i needed to to send to my mother fjfjdl #she finally asked me to show sources when i said some stuff abt how every infection and reinfection heightens ur risk for MORE reinfection #so i had to go thru my stockpile and find some updated stuff to prove that she needs to continue to mask #and anyways fhffjdksl that took a definite hit on my brain for tonight. SIGH #i smile and nod along w so much bullshit but i could not keep my mouth shut on that one #rgrhrhrhh. holding myself back from ranting any more abt any other stuff going on. sigh.#lets just say... i am very tired fjfkdl this is no way to exist but alas!!! it is the cards I must play with !!!#im going to hopefully be able to work on art tonight fingers crossed fjdkdl i Need it fndmkl #vent //#dandy.cmd

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amethystina · 11 months ago

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Music Tag

RULES: Put 5 songs you actually listen to, then tag 10 people.

I was tagged by @tenderlywicked! Thank you so much 💜

So here are five songs I'm currently looping with alarming regularity:

Enemy of Truth - The Devil Judge soundtrack

A Dangerous Thing - AURORA

HALAZIA - ATEEZ

Ruin - Isaac Hong (Strangers From Hell soundtrack)

Stairway to Heaven - Heart (Led Zeppelin cover)

To be entirely honest with you all, Enemy of Truth is, hands down, my most played song across all of my devices. You have no idea how much I adore that one.

I tag: Uh... if you're reading this and want to do it, consider yourself tagged!

#Amethystina Does Tag Games #Music Tag #And now I'll go back to writing #Am I writing on what I 'should' be writing?#Absolutely not #But I think you'll probably like it anyway #Well #At least if you're into The Devil Judge #I feel so out of practice that I'm more comfortable writing on something smaller right now #Just until I get back into the swing of things #Then I'll continue with Who Holds the Devil #Which I HAVE written 5k on #But that's not saying much considering the length of those chapters #Someone save me from myself

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deathxproof · 1 year ago

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hm, out of all of the things I was expecting when I slowly started putting myself back in fandom spaces, “unresolved trauma from being an autistic kid/teen who was always perceived as Too Much” wasn’t on the list, to be quite honest.

#ooc !#maybe I’ll unpack this more on my personal blog later. Who’s to say. not me certainly.#but yeah the amount of friendships/relationships I had from like. elementary school to high school(to even some of college)#where like. it’s suddenly revealed to me incredibly late that I’m being seen as overbearing / overwhelming / needing or being Too Much #and by then there is no fixing it yknow. by then they’re just telling you to get you to fuck off (or telling other people and not you lol)#(that happened way more often in online fandom spaces)(but tbh my hang-ups in online fandom spaces)#(come WAY MORE from like. interactions with Very Particular People)#(who self-admitted to like. actively trying to dig up dirt that didn’t exist on people ‘just in case’.)(or if they just didn’t like someone #(they aren’t around here anymore but nevertheless the few times we interacted and they tried that w me made me paranoid for ages </3333)#ANYWAYS if you read this far: hiiiiiiiii #i’m doing fine but oh god the weird nostalgic loneliness of being That Kid really hit me all at once #I’m still so bad at making friends now because of all of this naksdak #like I have to put effort into keeping up with people or else I’ll accidentally hold myself back / kind of isolate #under the assumption of like ‘oh you don’t want to scare this person away do you? you don’t want to be overbearing right?’#and it’s like. hey. hey brain. hey bitch. we gotta talk to people to actually form relationships with them. that’s how this works.#vent #anyways I gotta go build a closet now ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ...

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noahtally-famous · 2 years ago

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simply wild that I’m lowkey entertaining the idea of making a bridgette/courtney/gwen wt au fic (legit forgot what their ship name is rip) bc I fell into a bridgney hole, and then I started thinking abt gwidgette, and then I started thinking abt gwourtney, and then—

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curiosityjams · 1 year ago

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*

#don't know if it's like #that time of the month making these feelings more intense and i say this a LOT but damn i rly do feel my time on sm coming to an end #like i feel like being on here long term is holding me back in a way #but at the same time the reason i've been so afraid to take that leap is because idk what a world where i'm fully away from it (by that #i mean like no tumblr no ig no reddit no NOTHING just being completely alone w/ my thoughts and feelings and learning how to enjoy that)#and like ok isolating myself is Very Bad for my mental health i fully get that and its why ive been like afraid to leave completely #but then again why bother staying in a place w/ a history where the bad often outweighs the good for me #esp when i've chosen solace in some ppl who uh were #not the best ppl to look for that solace when you're Going Thru It #idek it's left me thinking abt the past too much when i SHOULD be in the present #anyway i'll stop w/ the rambles i just want to be offline in the way idk bill hader is offline gshdifhgtuioweiruty #be quiet drea #tbd bc im just venting in tags lmao

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