#holding myself back from saying more
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everyone in the ace attorney universe who said will powers is ugly/scary is a LIAR with BAD TASTE. he's a friendly handsome bear who loves gossip. i need to go to a gay bar with him
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"But he had not that supreme gift of the artist, the knowledge of when to stop."
It's weird to read this in a Sherlock Holmes story, because it's such a great point about art but he's talking about a murder scheme.
#I keep finding myself saying “less is more” when I'm reading because too many writers don't know when to hold back.#You can ruin a great line by stretching it into a paragraph.#Writing#Art#Creativity#Sherlock Holmes#The Adventure of the Norwood Builder#Arthur Conan Doyle#Letters from Watson
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i’m pretty surprised that you can be in a fandom without really checking the tags regularly for new content or discussions that’s pretty impressive
ive got twitter for that and twitter has shown me enough as is
#snap chats#i dont even check twitter specifically for rgg its just that my algorithms been formed that way cause friends send me tweets#on the real though jvALEKJEKL ive always. how you say. played with dolls alone#so being alone online isnt hard or anything particularly 'impressive' to me its just how i roll#ive always lived in my head i guess- with my interests that is. its fun up there vlkeajkla#i still like to hear from other people of course but for the most part im happy with just myself im not all that pressed for others#i think its also just. i have. other interests? so i dont really think i want to look at One Particular Thing that day. at least for tumblr#i MIGHT just cause thats how the day goes but i dont think 'i feel like looking at rgg art today'#whatever i see I See and that'll be that yk i love a lot of things and think of a lot of things#evidently SOME things take a hold of me more than others- or ill wanna be more public bout it at least#but thats jsut cause i just feel SO MUCH for Whatever Thing It Is At The Time that i want to share it. so then i do jvlskjs#with that in mind can i really say im 'in' a fandom when i dont particularly interact with it LMAO#again always happy to do so but im like an estranged uncle if anything#come over once a year to drop gifts off then i leave. ill still respond to holiday cards though if theyre sent#also for discussions ill usually just talk to my brother about it since he'll usually be The Main Sponge for my rambling LOLOL#god's strongest soldier i promise i try to hold back but im afraid i feel my brain physically tickle my skull#my brother always has to watch in real time me be consumed by a piece of media. like its a symbiote its really funny#cause at this point we'll meet in the kitchen and ill start like 'you know whats really funny..'#and he'll just. 'ok so who's it about today' LIKE PLEAAAASSSEEE. anyways prepare for my ninth 90 minute lecture about This Character#i also have a friend that i talk about my interests with- not all the time but enough that im like. Yeah Im Good Talkin Bout This#like the dopamine in my brain is activated JUST enough when i get to have quick short convos bout it with her#honestly maybe i should use my blacklisted main and rb ALL of my sideblog posts there#just so the people following that can Also witness me be consumed in real time <- will not do this
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Congrats on getting Arlecchino! I'm still trying to hopefully get the update to fit onto my phone lololol.
My life will be complete if I can get her, haha.
~ The anon who wanted Kaveh but didn't want Baizhu or Ganyu
thank you!!!! i'm surprised she came home so soon, i usually have to go to soft pity at least but Father really showed up after 20 pulls (it's because we are MARRIED and she WANTED TO /lh)
aaaaaa come on phone!!!!! make space for genshin, we need Arlecchino and we need her NOW
#chit chat#anon#genshin talk#I ALREADY HAVE HER AND HER WEAPON UP TO LEVEL 90 AAAAAA#this weekend i have to artifact farm....... grahhhhh#fingers crossed i get good ones because artifact rng is horrid and My Worst Enemy#also i despise hoyoverse for not making her weekly boss available beforehand#one thing i will say about baizhu being in the second half of the update is that i got to farm weekly boss mats#but noooooo not this time#anyways i have two hands and one is for Foul Legacy and the other is for Arlecchino it's a proven fact#*physically holds myself back from talking about Arlecchino more*
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可待的意思是 请你 等等我。
(please wait for me.)
#posts made by me for me myself and i only#keep scrolling! just me having a mental breakdown! nothing to see here!#me hearing lwx say 可待的意思是请你等等我 for the 7378414828th time: *bursts into fucking tears*#my posts#hlht#lhl#ok. serious thoughts time. it's always lowkey funny to me that it's genuinely believed#(like in xcp's eulogy for him)#that xdq cares more about his people than anything#it's not that i think he doesn't care? he's actually kind and good and feels for his people but?#he cares in a detached and distant way exactly in the manner he can from within the palace walls#...which is reminiscent of huahua in the last episode going yeah he's a good emperor (really?)#and i'll give up my only chance to survive in exchange for the peace of the world#(he says. but it's also for xiaobao - like. every political move xdq makes it's mixed with personal stake)#he does things *for* the good ever since he has been the lxy who built sigumen#but is it really *out of* goodness or he's just trying to live up to the ideal xia#his self-imposed isolation as the top of wulin is as iron-clad as the palace walls of confucian social roles that hold xdq in#the way that hlht is all about the social world and lhl is all about the world outside of that which xdq dreamt about#then at the end of the day they both go back to the water bodies where they wish to be released into... bye#and they leave behind loved ones who will go see the world for them#xdq is so much less cruel to them than huahua is tbh#at least xdq had aggressively fought for them and to be with them#both stories are like. what happens to someone AFTER they're at the top and was born into/for that role?#do you know what fucked up things that does to someone?#ok bye FOR LEGAL PURPOSES THIS POST IS FOR MYSELF and whoever wants to read ONLY
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I'm gonna hold myself back from making more posts after this one but GGHGHGHH
I just watched Slayers and Millias routes. I'm rattling the bars on my cage. I love learning about this web of relationships going on between the assassins guild it's so GOODD they all compliment and contrast each other in such interesting ways... I'm being so normal right now.
Alright! Venoms route is up next, so I will continue to be normal. Definitely.
#I'm holding myself back from writing more. Im holding it in until I've seen Venom and Zatos routes#but know I have a lot to say I'm picking them apart in my mind as I speak#ESPECIALLY MILLIA#I'm so happy to see more of her- she's been so interesting but I feel like they didnt do a lot with her in ML/X Plus :[#but in HERE?? there's so much to think about with her#i'm so fascinated by the idea of her forbidden beast taking over like Eddie and Zato at this point#... is that where all the angel Millia art comes from?!#guilty gear
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MAN. sure wish I could enjoy shoujo without all the weird normalization of age gap stuff.
#not that shonen is any better#holding myself back from writing a 2k word rant#ive been watching fruits basket and inuyasha during my breaks and while working on commissions#and god#there are some moments i just “i do not see it”#its not even 'oh any kind of depiction or exploration of themes around grooming and age gaps offends me therefore it shouldnt exist at all#and more of 'maybe normalizing being groomed to your child target audience is kinda of a bad take'#sucks that i have to say 'btw theres like weird grooming stuff sometimes in it but otherwise its great' when giving a rec to friends 🤙🤙🤙
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okay I severely misjudged spaghetti guy he’s actually just really cool
#okay so I came to this flat and he wasn’t here. greeted by a very dirty flat with shit all over the kitchen counters over cling film#I meet first my other flatmate who told me he stays in his room constantly bc of previous bad flatmates#has literally just a saucepan and some salt in the kitchen. so I’m like okay spaghetti guy potentially not great but could just be#how this guy is yknow#on Tuesday I get an email back saying he’s coming back from Norway tonight looking forward to seeing you feel free to use the kitchen sauces#rlly friendly message that I wasn’t expecting. I also didn’t know he’d been on a trip i just knew he wasn’t there bc his door was open#(to a REALLY nice room. multiple rlly nice plants (which he has little care labels for!!!) and it’s tidy and pretty#and he’s got a sheep teddy on the bed)#meanwhile I am in my own head bc I don’t wanna cook in the kitchen until I can clean it and I can’t clean it without moving his shit and#I haven’t seen him yet to talk abt it and I can’t bring myself to talk to him immediately bc I’m dying#and embarrassed as hell by how I’ve been cooking in my room with a microwave and air fryer (loud) and sneaking my shit out of the kitchen#but then yesterday I DO talk to him!! and he’s super friendly!! actually interested in having a conversation and Good at it.#and then he’s cooking and like. spaghetti burns but I’m not there for long and seems to be a mistake (he made the same thing for lunch today#and did Not burn the spaghetti) and is otherwise clearly competent bc the food smells Good and despite leaving a few things out it’s like#washed up stuff isn’t dirty and the sides are better despite still under cling film. more a case that he’s spread out than he’s messy#and now today we talked and i offered to hold onto some shit over summer bc complicated situation that boils down to he’s flying back home#and he cant take all his stuff and had to choose between chucking stuff/having literally nothing this weekend. like sleeping on the sofa etc#and then cleans the whole flat?? which I’m assuming a good chunk is his mess? but he did not need to do that. could’ve easily left#bc there are two people still living here who would’ve had to deal with it and he doesn’t know either at all#and THEN tonight we talk abt food which is fun bc we both ordered stuff. and he offers me some honeydew melon bc he’s been gorging himself#these past two days to finish it before it goes bad/he leaves which is also really sweet#and JUST NOW. I take my headphones out after finishing dinner and hear the sweetest fucking guitar#he plays the gentlest like dreamy sounding acoustic guitar I’ve heard in my life in his room (door closed by the time I leave)#this is actually just a really cool dude#now that the kitchens clear I’m gonna cook tomorrow and will probably offer him some bc otherwise he’s gonna be eating out all weekend#he has extra takeout for tomorrow night but might want smth Sunday#regardless I am just. huh??? left a bit stunned bc of the u turn my opinion of this guy has taken. bc my opinion of him was a reflection#of my discomfort moving to this weird dirty basement flat with two people I didn’t know#well. idk where to go from here. I think I’ll start by talking to him more this weekend. bc holy fucking shit.#luke.txt
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#me? about to use tumblr as a diary again? in 2024? unfortunately:/#but here have a waterfall i saw on a hike last week as payment#i am sO tired and exhausted emotionally after dating#there's this guy that i fr thought was going to last and be around for a long time. we spent like every moment together that we could for 2#months straight and if we werent physicaly together we were texting or calling or on ft . just every part of our day had the other in it#not once did i ever feel unwanted undesired or uncared for. not once did i feel that i wasnt sure of his intentions. i felt safer with him#in those 2 months than i ever did with any one else i could think to compare to.#until one day he just didnt think it important to communicate any more. after 3 days of nearly nothing .. hardly any talking . i asked if#he was ok if we were ok. what was going on in his head. he said some ive just been with my buddies and family and havent been on my phone#and just. immediately thats heartbreak yanno. thats :// thats what they say when theres a new girl. but there'd never been a reason to think#there was another girl so i was like ok we're gonna trust bc this dude has been So good in every way. so i said imy but i understand. enjoy#your time with your buddies and with your fam -- i cant wait to hear about it (and hold you)#and i havent heard from him in the 3 weeks since. just randomly#so last night#i send the dreaded 'i miss you' text.#i dont expect to hear back and i accept the hurt that will come with that and the confusion that i've felt settles deeper into my heart#until this afternoon i hop on ig and see a hard launch that was posted an hour after my text was sent#that shit kinda hurt different. but also sent me into a bit of a delirious state where all i could do is laugh bc are you for fucking real#did she see my message? i know it. bc i know him and i know that he wouldnt hide anything from the person he's giving his heart#and his softness to. i can almost imagine how he showed her and promised her theres nothing to worry about#and there really isnt anything to worry about because he genuinely is the type to give his all to the relationship he's in#which feels silly to say after what happened w us. like no there wasnt a title ever#it sucks to call it a situationship because a month ago we were laughing in bed together about how we could never bc we were all in.#just the timing of the hard launch makes me giggle. did my text push them to have a conversation about what they are. was she really the#reason that he went away on me.#im trying not to blame myself . trying not to think about the phone calls i didnt answer. about what i could have done differently. trying#not to think about where we would be if i didnt let my anxieties hold me back. if i wasnt scared about what he'd think of the parts of me#that i keep hidden just a little bit longer than the rest.#and at the same time im trying not to put him on a pedestal. but that pedestal is just where i wholeheartedly believe he belongs#he set the bar for me. he set the standard. i was never too much. i was never too little. he made me feel perfect just as i am
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May I share a small idea?
You could use the poll as some sort of list for some future WIP Wednesdays. The most popular choice is first and then the next in line comes on the next Wednesday when you got the time and so on.
It could save you plenty of time to prepare something and may lessen the pressure a little!
Obviously it’s up to you but I’m leaving the suggestion here for you to think about.
Hope you’re having a good time and remember to stay hydrated and take care of yourself~!
Oh this is a fantastic idea!! I think I will do this!! (Though I am hoping at least three of the options on there will be going up within the next several weeks, all of them are so so close to completion!!)
I will do this though!! Thank you very much for the suggestion friend, it’s a great idea!!
#i think I realize now why it’s taking so long to get all my fics out and why WIPs keep getting backed up#I have been going back and rewriting the initial chapters of HFBE#my earlier work is not my current writing style#and I know that is obvious#but I will flat out say it’s different because my earlier work was lazier#I remember telling myself all the time not to stress about my writing so much because with Uni I did not have the time to do that#so I’d post work even if I wasn’t happy with how it was#otherwise I’d never get any work out#but now I look at my current writing#and I feel like at least it’s more coherent#and more thought and work is put into it#and I am more proud of my current writing than my earlier writing by a longshot#but that’s coming at the price of almost paralyzing scrutiny#as it’s holding me up from posting#I’ve leaned a little too far into it#and I’ve begun to find a balance where I can move on while still criticizing my own writing and adjusting it a little better#work has been moving more consistently again on them#so I’m expecting that when I do finish my WIPs for posting#it’s going to be a lot at once#(does not help that so many of these fics are all tied to each other and I want to post all the connecting fics in between larger chapters#of my multi-chapter fics#haha)
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scale of 1-10 how much fun do you have when you send asks to yourself
a lot more fun than this ask
#everyone say thank u crystal for being my ghost writer#no uh i'd say that i have more fun when i make fake ao3 accounts and comment on my own fics#or when i make fake tinder accounts with my many other phones (im a millionaire btw)#and i flirt back and forth with myself#and sometimes i catfish myself that's always crazy#yeah sometimes i send myself love letters in the mail#ive made a clone of myself before just so we could compliment each other back and forth for hours#im really ahead of my time#pigeon#anon#in case anyone has no sense of humor im joking#ive actually never sent myself an ask before. im better known for my very conspicuous anons to other friends.#but now i should start sending asks to myself#i'll sign all my asks 'from jess <3'#it'll just be. jess on jess communication#that'll be fun for blog viewers right??#is it ?? possible to send urself an ask off anon ?? let me try hold on now im just curious#ive never tried before lmfao
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I post a Tangy voice claim but it’s just a cat meowing into the microphone a bunch and then sniffing it (you hear the fur ruffling the mic and also the sniffing and purring. This is crucial.)
#day-2-day#this is a joke btw I couldn’t claim a voice even if I had a gun to my head abt it#it’s 3 am here… I’m having trouble sleeping… I’m still kinda recovering from that weird nightmare two nights back.#I can still hear/feel the leather + bone crunch is the thing that’s so off putting. the pains long gone but the sound? the sensation?#totally burned into my brain. also I think I need to put Chuu into a. thingy.#a centrifuge ! I gotta put her in one of those. the whole thing. she’s wandered too far in a direction from her starting point and I need#to wrangle her personality back where it belongs. it’s making me feel…… not great :T#I don’t desire advice about this I just keep almost saying something and bailing so if I just whisper this in the tags and then#close the app and forget about it I’ll have said my feelings in some way and I can work on the problem more actively :/#something about how I have to make up people to hold me accountable [if I say I need to do something aloud in some way it tends to make me#do it right away or soon rather than putting it off indefinitely with only myself to answer to. even if logically the person I said it aloud#to did not hear it or respond. it’s my own…. weird methods idk. it works well enough 96% of the time so I haven’t chased different avenues.]
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Ngl bad parents give me such an ick like stay tf away from me ew
#this cousin of mine has twins#twin boys#and while i sort of understand why she is the way she is with them#i realy cant wrap my head completely around it#because well#its such blind idiot stupid fucking BAD behaviour especially for a mother was especially towards her children#especially when theyre twins and youre so blatantly partial the favoured one KNOWS hes favoured#like. she has absolutely ruined her second boy and absolutely cannot handle him and yet slaps him every chance she gets#doesnt listen to him refuses to indulge him even the least bit shows zero affection and ive been here three days and man can i see#that child is fucking parched for affection specifically from him mother because he is neglected#he knows he is neglected#he is scared shitless of her and acts out of his way to get any attention he can because that is the only time his mother will hold him#be it with sharp fingers and a hold that digs into his skin#theyre literally just 5 years old#the neglected child i a fucking dream come true. is already smart as FUCK#does anything you tell him to do RIGHT THAT SECOND#the only flaw is that he doesnt listen when anyone tells him not to do something which isnt even a flaw for fucks sake#thats a fucking child hes gonna ASK#and you shout at him and dont amswer him and when he keeps asking you hit him#my heart fucking cries man#the other one knows his mother favours him and despises his brother and that evil fucker (i know its not his fault) lies#and gets his brother hit and then fucking TEASES HIM ABOUT IT THREATENS HIM LATER ON LIKE I AM SO DISGUSTED#HOW MUCH OF AN AWFUL PARENT DO YOU HAVE TO BE FOR YOUR KIDS TO BE AWARE OF HOW TO MANIPULATE YOU AT THE AGE OF FUCKING FIVE#F I V E (5).#they. are. FIVE.#i seriously want to keep him to myself because she will ruin him#and whats more disgusting is when shes getting him to do stuff shes all like “baby do this” and the moment hes back and standing close she#pushes him away? looks at him disgusted? says “why do you bother me so much”??????#that is child is the most fucking neglected child ive ever seen and seriously man why does this happen and why do I HAVE TO WITNESS IT#the favoured one is pure evil and NO ONE SAYS ANYTHING TO HIM HES DUMB ASF CANT EVEN WRITE ONE WORD WITHOUT DYING DOES NOTHING DOESNT LISTEN
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...
#head instructor to the TAs in the lab section i TA for: how r u guys feeling abt the workload?#me who hasnt graded anything since week 1 and spent an hr that morning filling out a patient safety plan: 🙃#listen. we r experiencing symptoms that make us shitty at our job. which is not helpful for a positive outlook#i was also experiencing horrible cramps at the time bc i lost my ibuprofen and 2 days ago i stopped the birth control in a desperate effort#to stop feeling terrible. but in this moment i feel alright. its wild to go from drastically unhappy to like lol wtf was that? anyway stop#being a bby loser. for no obvious reason. im gonna start the birth control again to see if i get depressed again or if that was just me lol#i dont think my therapist understands the depth of my executive functioning issues tho. bc im a grad student and can meet deadlines. like#let me tell u im a fucking disaster abt starting things. i will go back and forth and get nothing done forever. or i do things halfway and#make everything 30 times more difficult later bc no one else understands how my brain works#ah well. itll b fine. sometimes i just get freaked out that i wanna b better and i dont kno how to do that. so i spiral in despair a lil#ill b fine. im good at catching myself before i get too out of control. annoyingly tho i am not currently beating the bip0lar allagations#bc whatever tf is wrong with me i do probably fit the diagnostic criteria for bip0lar 2. i dont kno y that freaks me out so much. i guess#its bc it feels like something i cant just make better thru force of will and i grew up in a home that was very obsessively#health conscious to the point my dad gets anxious abt taking a single ibuprofen. so like ive been conditioned to get freaked out by#medication. literally my grandma will call me and tell me to b suspicious of doctors and to not take medicine unless absolutely necessary.#like lady u r the genetic reason i have 0cd shut the fuck up. also it feels like something that would more negatively affect how ppl think#of u than saying oh yea i get depressed or i have anxiety. like the connotation feels worse im used to just telling ppl whatever tf#my problem is. so the idea of holding something back feels weird. which annoys me bc i dont think there should b so much of a stigma. its#bullshit. anyway idk. im tired. i was trying to think of a comfort tv show with my therapist and all i could think was the terror#when im depressed i wanna watch those English mother fuckers suffer and die. i just lov that show so much. harry g00dsir my beloved. the#most me coded character to ever exist#unrelated
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Today is like the last hot-ish day (not hot is wearing leggings without sweating) and good timing because girlie is having body issues more than normal
#I say more than normal because there has not been a moment that has passed since age 13 that I have not had body issues#it’s okay you can laugh it isn’t tragic when you think about it for too long because of the fact I was a child and so fucked up I was#was starving myself lololol#don’t even get me started on how I wanted to kms and was sh constantly when I was 14 and that truly just is devasting purely just tragic and#a waste of life lolololol#and it doesn’t matter how healthy I am now or how healthy I will get#I will never be normal#childhood trauma fucking rewired your brain in a way I cannot change ever lololol#no matter what restrictive ED’s don’t fully go away lololol#I want to have a healthy relationship and learn what love looks like and what healthy fights and proper communication looks like#but all I bring to the table is a shattered glass that I taped back together so like I can still hold water and I’m a whole glass but I will#always need this tape to keep me from breaking and I will always have cracks no matter what#wow this was a random rant😭😭#rae’s rambles#delete later
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In their most dastardly move yet, the Israeli government has tricked the American people into posting screenshots that say "you like Carly Rae Jepsen" on their Instagram stories
#This is some baby brain shit. You should all be embarrassed#You are not that important!#'its misinformation it plays into problematic tropes etc' sure maybe. But more importantly it is dumb#Some of you. Think everything is at the exact same level of importance. And that's why you think your little playlists are worth mentioning#In the same sentence as an egregious act of cruelty against a civilian population#Be ashamed#Also! Also! If HYPOTHETICALLY. It was in fact timed to divert social media attention away from Palestine. Hypothetically#Why did you participate in it! I have seen SO many people reblog that stupid fuckin post and then ALSO post their little Spotify wrapped ga#What does that say about you? If you think that's what's happening and you went along with it anyway?#God. I have really really been holding myself back from saying anything about anything about Palestine the last few weeks#Because I simply did not feel like I had anything good to add to the conversation.#And I have held my tongue so many times while you people say the stupidest things I have ever heard but THIS was the last straw for some re#Reason#I mean! People are dying!#People are dying and you think it's all about you!#You have found away to make this about you and your crappy little playlists!#Just incredible. Well done.#delete later maybe
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