#hobbit characters as tumblr posts

[redbootsindoriath]

Oh look what day it is again!

Happy Hobbit Day to all who celebrate! Here's a rushed doodle to assure you guys that I am in fact still out there somewhere on earth.

[modernlotrhobbitthoughts]

LotR + Hobbit Characters as Tumblr Posts - Part 15/?

[fang-leone]

ALSO UNLETARED, BUT SPEAKING OF FANTASY AU's, My case for Kyoya being Boromir in a Lord of the Rings AU:

Ngl, would be tempted by The Ring, and try to take it from whoever is Frodo

The "Who is this up-start Gingka son of Ryo, the elfs are claiming as the 'True King of Gondor', my family has been running this country for centuries" to "I would have gone with you to the end" pipe line is real, whether Kyoya wants to admit it or not

Devine shield, aka protector of the realms of Men?

Kakeru can be Faramir, ridding his bike horse up and down Ithilien

Tackled by a bunch of Halflings

[sketchym00n]

(Traditional) Art dump

These r a collection of either ocs, or random character designs + final project rough draft for art class

Some r a little bit older

And some lotr sketches, im not great at fanart buuut i like these (legolas and thorin)

[retellingthehobbit]

Retelling The Hobbit Chapter 16: The Song of the Lonely Mountain First chapter / Previous / Next

To view full comic: Webtoon/A03 / Tumblr post with links to all chapters

Other blogs: TikTok/Instagram/Tumblr Sideblog

*crumbles into dust after finishing this* Thank you for reading! This The Hobbit webcomic adaptation thing takes a lot of effort to put together and I can’t tell you how much I appreciate every comment. I also really appreciate the people who’ve spread the word of this comic to their friends! <3

And finally, we’re at the Song of the Lonely Mountain! Within Tolkien’s canon, The Hobbit is an in-universe book that was “written” by Bilbo Baggins, who occasionally lies/embellishes/exaggerates things. The tonal differences between The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings are explained by Bilbo and Frodo/Sam being different kinds of storytellers, with different relationships to “the truth.” This idea is the core of how I’m adapting the novel!  Bilbo is an unreliable narrator who is literally ‘drawing’ from his own limited experiences;  the different art styles reflect the different perspectives of other characters.   The “dwarf art style” in this chapter is inspired by stonework/metalwork in general— but especially by a mix of art deco, Celtic art, and European folk art. 

The central tension of the comic is between Bilbo and Thorin, who each have wildly different ideas about what kind of  story they’re in. Thorin is in a grand fantasy epic, while Bilbo is in a lighthearted children’s book adventure.  The tragedy is, obviously, that only one side of the story ever gets to be fully told.

On a sillier note, a few years ago I had my first gay crush on a lesbian who sang while playing the piano. This chapter is dedicated to the piano lesbian. I hope they’re doing well, wherever they are. XD

I think I might need a bit of a break but I’m hoping for the next chapter, titled “Dawn,” to arrive on January 13th. And your comments/support really do help motivate me to get more done! ^_^

[sillylotrpolls]

What would the Elvish word for "blorbo" be?

Rather than having a set list of options, today's poll is open-ended! If you have a suggestion, post it in the comments or a reply.

I know we've got some serious Tolkien scholars here on tumblr, and I'd love to hear a breakdown of what exactly Jirt might have chosen to mean "favorite or beloved character" (definition courtesy Urban Dictionary).

Extra credit:

Is the word different in Sindarin/Quenya?

How would Tolkien use the word in a sentence?

If used as a name, would "Blorbo" be a dwarf or a hobbit?

If Tolkien were alive today, would he describe Lúthien as his "blorbo"?

What about Elvish words for "glup shitto," "skrunkly," and "woobie"?

If you don't know Elvish (and why would you?), an Elvish dictionary is available at www.elfdict.com.

Or, you can straight-up use Finnish and Welsh. Or, just make up something that sounds like a word Legolas might say. Open-ended means there's no limit to your choices. :)

[lotrweek]

One month left until LOTRWEEK 2024 begins! See this year's prompts below and the updated FAQs below the cut for more info, and have fun!

Day 1 (16th Sep): the road goes ever on

Day 2 (17th Sep): histories and legacies

Day 3 (18th Sep): the green earth in the daylight

Day 4 (19th Sep): gifts, burdens and choices

Day 5 (20th Sep): here with me

Day 6 (21st Sep): songs and tales

Day 7 (22nd Sep): free day – Hobbit day!

What is lotrweek?

Lotrweek is a week-long event to celebrate The Lord of the Rings here on Tumblr. It takes place on 16th-22nd September 2024.

How do I take part?

Each day of the week has a prompt. Create an original work (e.g. gifset, fanart, fanfic) inspired by a prompt, then post it to Tumblr! Where the prompt has multiple parts to it, you can choose which part(s) you want to focus on – how you respond to a prompt is  comletely up to you. The prompts are deliberately vague and open so that they can work for gifs, art, fics, etc.

For example, for “histories and legacies”, you could make a gifset of Moria, or art of the similarities/differences between Luthien and Arwen, or a fic about Aragorn and the Dunedain before the War of the Ring.

Will you reblog my works?

Yes! Tag your works with #lotrweek so they can be reblogged here, and follow @lotrweek for updates on the event and to see everyone else’s works. If there’s anything nsfw or that may need a warning, make sure to do this responsibly and put said parts under a read-more.

How much can I participate?

As much or as little as you’d like! You can take part just once or every day (or even multiple times a day if you’re feeling particularly hasty). It’s up to you – just make sure you’re enjoying it!

Can I create any type of work?

Yes! Gifs, graphics, fanart, fanfic, video edits, meta – all are welcome, as long as it’s your own original work.

Does my work have to be based on the LOTR films?

Any works based on LOTR (book or film) are welcome.

Can I include other Tolkien books/adaptations?

You can, but LOTR should be the focus. So, for example, a gifset of just The Hobbit films wouldn’t work, but a gifset including shots from both The Hobbit and LOTR (e.g. to draw parallels between characters/events) would work great!

Who is running this blog?

@southfarthing

Any other questions?

Ask away!

[tolkienocweek]

Tolkien OC Week

A fandom event for OCs and underdeveloped characters in Tolkien's world!

This event celebrates both characters of Tolkien's world and our own characters that need more love, by creating and reblogging all kind of fanworks, like fanfiction, fanart, fanvideos, fancrafts, headcanons, playlists, edits, moodboards etc.

The event is modded by @yellow-faerie, @elamarth-calmagol and @stormxpadme and will take place between 25th August - 31st August 2024 for the fourth year running.

NSFW text entries are allowed and we’ll tag them accordingly when we reblog them, but please put them behind a “read more”.

We'll also be tracking the tag #tolkienocweek during this week!

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Event schedule for 2024:

Day 1 (25th August): World Building

Create a fanwork about an original character, and use them as a jumping off point for worldbuilding. Share a dwarf from the far side of Rhun, consider the existence of an Aina before the creation of Arda, explore Rivendell from the point of view of an outsider, or tell us about the underground punk subculture of Gondolin.

Day 2 (26th August): Canon-OC Relationships

This year, it’s not just about romance. Today, explore a relationship between your OC and a canon character. Your character could be a lover or spouse of someone canonical, lf course, but they could also be a friend, sibling, teacher, servant, fan, or even rival!

Day 3 (27th August): Alternate Universes

Share an OC who isn’t canon compliant at all. Maybe you want to add a fourteenth member of Thorin’s company or give a reborn Celebrimbor children with a surviving and reformed Sauron. Or, maybe you want to do a crossover with your Star Wars OC or let your self-insert narrate a coffee shop AU. Go wild!

Day 4 (28th August): Gaps and Ghosts

Create a fanwork based upon a character that Tolkien either thought up and abandoned, such as Odo Took oe the characters of The New Shadow. Or, create someone he missed creating in the first place, like… um… just about anyone’s mother.

Day 5 (29th August): Non-Humanoid Characters

Middle Earth isn't just elves, Men, hobbits, and dwarves. Today, share a character who is something different entirely: an animal, a dragon, a Maia who doesn't take humanoid form, an ent or huron, or a creature of your own invention.

Day 6 (30th August): Background Characters

This prompt is all about people who are in the background of the action: the low-ranking soldiers, the servants, and the ordinary people living in extraordinary times. Or maybe you want someone who isn't so ordinary, like an advisor in the Council of Elrond who never made it onto the page, or one of the Maiar who sank the Feanorians on the stolen boats. Show us their view of the action!

Day 7 (31st August): Freeform

Did we miss something? Do you have an OC that doesn’t fit into any day, or did you want to do a second fanwork for one of the days? Today, create and share whatever you want, as long as it has to do with original or abandoned characters!

*******************************************

*******************************************

Since we want to celebrate creations about neglected characters all year long, the mods will occasionally reblog posts and fancreations about OCs and underdeveloped characters. If you would like to see your post on our blog, you're very welcome to tag tolkienocweek. Since tumblr's tagging system is often being faulty, don't hesitate to message us, too!

We are looking forward to see and share all the awesome work you come up with!

[gffa]

Over the last week, I decided to go ahead with bookmarking all the fics I've recommended over the years on AO3 since I abide by tumblr poll results always (and man pour one out for all the fic that never made it to AO3 or has since been deleted, sooooo many gems lost to time!) and it was a bit more than the ~3,000 I was expecting:

Hopefully, this will be easier than browsing the hundreds of recs posts I've made, since you can filter for any of the author's tags now! These are mostly focused on Star Wars and DC fandom, but I did my time in the anime mines and occasional tours through some TV fandoms or movies. You can dig into everything unfiltered and start your own filtering, or the bigger fandoms you'll find:

MAJOR FANDOMS: Each of these should have 100+ at minimum and, in the case of Star Wars, literally almost half of them are in that fandom. Look, Star Wars fandom might be a trash fire in a lot of ways, but it is ON FIRE with some good fic. (Older bookmarks not guaranteed to match my current sentiments, especially re: the Jedi, but they did catch my fancy at that point in time!)

STAR WARS: - All Star Wars -OR- All Star Wars minus the Obi-Wan/Anakin ship - OR- Nothing BUT Obi-Wan/Anakin

BATMAN/DC: - DC can sometimes be tricky, but you can do a Batman* search and get most of them (though, sometimes Nightwing* or Young Justice* or Superman* will catch some of the others). Honestly, though, you might want to just do a search for what character or dynamic you like and have fun from there, because otherwise you're getting a face full of my Dick Grayson Is The Center Of The Universe And I'm Making That Everyone Else's Problem agenda. ;)

MARVEL/MCU: - Marvel* will probably get most of the various properties, though you may want to filter for Defenders* or Guardians of the Galaxy* if you're interested -OR- Marvel* without the Thor/Loki - These focus a lot on the Thor* fandom if you want to witness the results of like 8 years of constant voracious reading in that fandom (Minus the ship), because, seriously, I read a LOT of Odinson family fic. - Bonus, just do a search for Maximoff* to find some really good X-Men: First Class-verse because, listen, I have been ALL ABOUT the Maximoff twins since long before the movies or MCU brought them over and I will DIE ON THE HILL of "Marvel, make Magneto their bio-dad again or I'm never reading another comic of yours ever".

TOLKIEN/LORD OF THE RINGS/SILMARILLION/HOBBIT: - Tolkien* -OR- Hobbit* -OR- Lord of the Rings* searches will turn up most of my Elf-hunting, I primarily focus on the Sindar Elves, but look I can't resist my problematic Feanorian faves or that I will die on the hill that Fingolfin is the best ever. (You have NO IDEA how sad I am that so much fic on Stories of Arda or FFNET is not easily bookmarked on AO3, sob. I externally bookmarked a few of the bigger ones, but sooo many shorter faves are missing from my recs tag.)

CLAMP: - X/Tokyo Babylon legitimately bums me out because it's not a huge fandom and yet so much of what was written was pre-AO3 and lost when CLAMPesque went down or was never brought over from Livejournal, yet this fandom (well, the Seishirou/Subaru pairing) still burns brightly in my heart.

MINOR FANDOMS: Ones that probably only have under 100 bookmarks (often around the 20-30 bookmarks range), but will at least give you a place to start! ANIME/MANGA: Bleach | Cardcaptor Sakura | Dragonball | Finder no Hyouteki/Viewfinder | Katekyou Hitman Reborn! | Kuroko no Basuke | One Piece | Sailor Moon | Madoka Magica | Naruto | Princess Tutu | Trigun | Weiss Kreuz | Yuri!!! on Ice

BOOKS: Chrestomanci | Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint

DRAMAS: Nirvana in Fire | The Untamed -OR- Modao Zu Shi

TV SHOWS/MOVIES: Community | Game of Thrones -OR- ASOIAF | Good Omens | Hannibal | Highlander | The Old Guard | Our Flag Means Death | Stranger Things

VIDEO GAMES: Dragon Age: Inquisition | Final Fantasy 8 | Genshin Impact | Okami

BANDS: Arashi

All right, whew, that was actually a fun project, despite how much work it was to hunt down a lot of older faves to see if they were on AO3, hopefully you'll find this useful!

[edges-of-night]

Can I request a platonic reader accidentally calling one of the characters “mom” or “dad”? Sam and Boromir were the ones I thought of for this one, but if it gets your creative juices flowing I would love to read anyone else you think fits as well!

This is such a sweet idea! I wrote this for Boromir and Sam as well as Elrond, simply because I love the theme of fatherhood surrounding him. Enjoy the read!

･ﾟ✧ Boromir.

When you first call Boromir “dad”, it’s an accident that leaves you so embarrassed you want to disappear into the earth. You saw him from afar and, without thinking, waved and called, “There he is – dad!” But Boromir simply laughed warmly about your mistake. Once he was you, he’d ruffle your hair. “Even someone as bright as you is not exempted from a slip of the tongue!” Despite his good humour, the accident does change something in Boromir. He felt protective of you before but now sees a certain duty in doing so. You still play and joke as usual, but he is now certain that he would never let anything happen to you. He knows how fathers can be from his own family and aspires to do better.

.

･ﾟ✧ Elrond.

It has been years since Elrond has taken you in as his fosterling, and in all those years, he has made a point of not being your biological parent. Still, you could never wish for a better, kinder, or wiser father figure in your life. In your mind, he has become your father many years ago. So, when you one night clear up the library in Rivendell, blow out the candles and leave for your chambers, you accidentally say, “On nydha, adar.” Elrond stills when he hears you call him “adar”, and then his features soften into the kindest smile. “Good night to you as well, my child.” His reaction makes it clear there is no need for you to apologise – on the contrary, Elrond cherishes you calling him “adar” very much.

.

･ﾟ✧ Sam.

The curious thing about you accidentally calling Sam “dad” is that neither of you notice it at first. You’ve lived with the Gamgees for years now and have helped Sam countless times with his gardening duties. One day, he is carrying so many wooden boxes at once that he basically walks blindly through the garden in front of the yellow Hobbit door of his. You notice he wouldn’t be able to see the pot of larkspur in his way, so you call, “Watch out, dad!” – “Oh, thanks, dear,” Sam calls back. It’s only when he retells the story in the evening that he remembers you calling him “dad”. His heart swells at the thought and he is immediately used to it. From this day on, his chest is a little broader, filled with pride and love.

Thank you to @fenxshiral for this tumblr post explaining Elvish vocabulary for “good night”!

[lotr-sesa]

The Lord of the Rings Secret Santa 2024 prompt meme signups are OPEN!

So, it's that time of the year again: time to sign up for the Lord of the Rings Secret Santa exchange! Slash, femslash, het and gen; you can request it all, so why not join in?

Lord of the Rings Secret Santa has been going for twenty-one years, and we'd love to see you join us and keep the tradition going.

LotR SeSa has been a traditional exchange since its inception, but we continue to adapt and refine the exchange to best serve all participants. The exchange has been in the form of a prompt meme since 2020. If you are new to the format, AO3 has a helpful FAQ here.

This year's timeline (2024):

Prompt Posting: November 1st to 25th.

Claiming: November 26th to December 27th.

Collection Open for Posting: November 26th to December 27th.

All Fills Due: December 27th

You will be able to post up to 2 prompts, and we will do our best to make sure that at least one of your prompts is filled.

Please note that this is an FPFchallenge. (i.e. Fictional, not real people fiction/RPF.) We're always open to all the Peoples and Ages of Middle-earth, which means that characters from The Hobbit and The Rings of Power are welcome too!

The Rules (2024):

You will be able to post up to 2 prompts between November 1st and 25th, and we will do our best to make sure at least one of your prompts is filled.

Your fill is due December 27th 11:59 pm Pacific Time (you can check what that is in your time zone here). Please post it to AO3 (and nowhere else, until January 3rd).

As a matter of fairness, please make your story more than 750 words (1000 is better).

Signing up: the sign up form can be found here (or here if the main link gives you an error message). If you need help with signing up, please don't hesitate to contact the mods at lotrsesa[AT]gmail.com.

Once claiming has opened, please only claim a prompt if you plan on actually fulfilling your end of the bargain, and please only claim one prompt at a time. After you have completed your fill, you may claim a new one.

Claiming a prompt: use the "Claim" button next to the prompt you want to claim. (You can find open prompts under "Prompts" in the sidebar.) Several people can claim the same prompt. You can also claim a prompt without having submitted any of your own.

It's a good idea to join the LotR_SeSa LiveJournal community or the Dreamwidth community so you can keep track of any admin posts. You can also follow us here on Tumblr.

Have fun -- and spread the word! We appreciate each and every reblog. ❤️

[silmarillionwritersguild]

Tolkien Meta Week is a week-long event to encourage fans to create nonfiction works related to Tolkien's world. Tolkien Meta Week will run from December 8-14, 2024 on Tumblr and here on the Silmarillion Writers' Guild archive.

How to Participate

Tolkien Meta Week is hosted by the Silmarillion Writers' Guild, but we welcome meta about any and all of Tolkien's works. On our archive, the usual rules about "Silmworks" apply, but we will gladly reblog all Tolkien-related content on our tumblr.

You can use one of our prompts or go rogue and do your own thing! As long as it is a nonfiction work related to Tolkien, it is welcome for this event. Note that "meta" doesn't have to be lengthy, finished, or polished. A paragraph describing a wild theory you had suddenly while brushing your teeth is just as welcome as a lengthy, detailed, essay. There are four prompts available for each day of the week. If you want to use the prompts, you can use one, a few, or all of them—your choice! You can also combine prompts from different days.

On the archive, choose Tolkien Meta Week from the Challenge dropdown when you post your work. On Tumblr, tag #tolkien meta week so that we can reblog your work!

The SWG also has a weekly newsletter, and we will include a roundup of Tolkien Meta Week submissions at the end of the event. If you do not wish to be included in the round-up, let the mods know before December 13.

We will not reblog or include meta that violates our Site Etiquette. This includes meta that promotes the idea that some people have more value than others or that insults or belittles other fans.

Make sure to give credit for ideas not your own and ask permission before using or discussing another fan's fanworks as part of your meta.

Prompts

Each day of the event will feature four prompts centered on genre, format, source text, and approaches that range beyond Middle-earth. However, these prompts are entirely optional, and any Tolkien-related meta is welcome for the event!

December 8: theory | infographic | The Silmarillion | the Tolkien fandom

December 9: open letter | podcast/audio | The Lord of the Rings | Tolkien's non-Middle-earth writings

December 10: literary analysis | wiki article | The Hobbit | adaptations

December 11: character study | video | Unfinished Tales, The History of Middle-earth, The Nature of Middle-earth, and The Fall of Númenor | books, articles, and meta about Tolkien

December 12: headcanon | meme | The Three Great Tales: The Children of Húrin, Beren and Lúthien, and The Fall of Gondolin | compare Tolkien to another text

December 13: ship manifesto | personal essay | Tolkien's art | apply real-world disciplines to Middle-earth

December 14: research | list (including link collections) | The Letters of J.R.R. Tolkien | Tolkien fanworks (with permission!)

Prompt Definitions

Prompt definitions are provided for informational purposes only. We do not police how creators use our prompts for challenges and take creators at their word if they share a fanwork as part of one of our challenges. In other words, we are not going to be coming behind anyone, arguing that something should be posted because it doesn't fit our particular understanding of a prompt. All that being said, if you read the definitions below and still aren't sure what a prompt means, our mods are here to help!

Genre Prompts

Theory: Share your theories about one of the many mysteries or open questions about Tolkien's work. Unlike headcanons, theory meta uses details from the text rather than original concepts to formulate ideas about the legendarium.

Open Letter: Write a letter to someone, expressing your views on the canon as it relates to them. For example, you could write to a character, the creator of an adaptation, or Tolkien himself!

Literary Analysis: Literary analysis considers what makes Tolkien's work effective as art or literature, considering such elements as imagery, word choice, characterization, structure, and theme. Literary analysis can also consider influences on Tolkien's work, such as mythology, folklore, and other works of literature.

Character Study: Character studies take a deeper look at a character, considering what the texts say and imply about the character's backstory, motives, emotions, personality, and other elements.

Headcanon: Headcanons are your personal interpretations of the texts. They can be grounded in details from the texts but don't have to be. This is the meta where you elaborate on the original elements that you imagine for Middle-earth.

Ship Manifesto: Present the reasons why a particular ship is appealing to you and should be embraced by others.

Research: Share your research on a topic, large or small, in any format, whether your rough notes or a perfectly polished essay or anything in between—or a format totally novel and new!

Format Prompts

Infographic: Present your meta in visual form, using graphics alongside text. Note that while traditional infographics are of course welcome, other formats that combine information + visuals are welcome too.

Podcast/Audio: Record a discussion of a topic or a reading of a work of meta.

Wiki Article: Create or add to a Tolkien-related article on a wiki. (Fanlore is a fandom-specific wiki that is still missing articles on many Tolkien characters, ships, and other topics!)

Video: Share a work of meta in video form.

Meme: When we created this prompt, we had in mind visuals with catchy text that comment on Tolkien. However, the word meme has many meanings and permutations. Any are welcome here.

Personal Essay: Reflect on how Tolkien, Tolkien fandom, or aspects of Tolkien's world have influenced you personally. Note that while this prompt includes the word "essay," any format of personal reflection—video, audio, visual, something else?—is welcome.

List: Make a list of things related to a topic related to Tolkien.

Beyond Middle-earth

The Tolkien Fandom: Create meta about the Tolkien fandom, which is many decades old, vast, diverse, and complex. Note that exploring all aspects of Tolkien fandom—not just the fanworks fandom—is welcome for this prompt.

Tolkien's Non-Middle-earth Writings: Tolkien wrote original stories (like Leaf by Niggle), adaptations (like The Legend of Sigurd and Gudrun), translations (like Sir Gawain and the Green Knight), and academic works (like "Beowulf: The Monsters and the Critics"). This prompt welcomes meta that engages with these texts.

Adaptations: There have been dozens of films, radio plays, television shows, and games inspired by Tolkien's works. Use one or more of these adaptations to inspire your meta.

Books, Articles, and Meta about Tolkien: People love writing and ruminating about Tolkien. You're considering doing it now or you wouldn't be here! Discuss what fans and scholars have to say about Tolkien for this prompt.

Compare Tolkien to Another Text: Discuss Tolkien alongside another text or texts. Specific texts (like a specific book or movie) are welcome, as are groups or genres of text (such as the fantasy genre or stories that include dragons). Note that when we say "text," we mean that loosely, and you can engage with works in any format, not just books and stories.

Apply Real-World Disciplines to Middle-earth: Take your expertise in a real-world subject and apply it to the people, places, and situations of Middle-earth. This could be an academic or professional discipline (such as volcanology, astronomy, or psychology—all of which have been applied to Tolkien!) or a hobby or more casual pursuit (such as gardening, mushroom foraging, or horses) or anything in between.

Tolkien Fanworks: Write or make a work of meta that engages with Tolkien fanworks—roughly defined as amateur not-for-profit adaptations of Tolkien's works—either specific works or in the general sense. If you are going to discuss specific fanworks, please reach out to the creators first.

[squarebracket-trickster]

Okay, this started as a rant on another post but then i figured it wasn't fair to inflict that on OP. I don't even know OP. So uhhh...

I am, at this point, completely convinced that the people who advise against headhopping, beige prose, purple prose, and infodumping, and the people who love headhopping, beige prose, purple prose, and infodumping are using two different definitions of the words.

Because do you really enjoy reading published novels where you can't tell whose thoughts belong to whom? Do you really enjoy prose that is choppy, vague, awkward, and lacks enough detail to actually follow the story? Do you really enjoy prose that keeps using big, fancy words but it is clear the author doesn't actually know what they mean, or uses run-on sentences that are dizzying to try and make sense of? Do you really enjoy having your high-paced action scene interrupted by 6 pages straight of technical jargon with absolutely no attempt to incorporate it naturally into the story (and like two paragraph breaks across the whole 6 pages)?

On the other hand...

Do you really hate every single case of Omniscient POV you have ever read - did you hate Narnia, A Series of Unfortunate Events, Pride and Prejudice because of the POV? Do you really find sparse, accessible, "quick and snappy" prose that off-putting? Do you hate poetry - can you seriously not think of any examples of vivid, flowing prose chalk-full of literary devices (metaphor, zeugma etc.) that spoke to you? Have you really never enjoyed a paragraph here and there where a scifi writer explains exactly how their weird alien is biologically possible? Have you? Do you?

(Okay, okay. I know this is Tumblr. If anyone actually bothers to read this rant (hahaha) some little edgy contrarian is going to appear in the notes eventually but IN GENERAL)...

Long story short I think we have two different definitions of all these terms running around.

Headhopping

When the narrator describes the thoughts of more than one character per paragraph (or scene).

When the narrator describes the thoughts of more than one character per paragraph (or scene) in a way that makes it difficult to tell who is thinking and experiences what. It is confusing to the reader.

Beige prose

Simple, sparse, accessible, to the point, only conveying the tip of the iceberg.

Choppy, awkward, vague, missing critical information, sacrificing clarity for the sake of simplicity.

Purple prose

Poetic, flowery and/or vivid language, long complex sentences, a tendency toward the dramatic.

Language that is "too flowery" - fancy, rare words used incorrectly, or which don't make sense given the tone, mood, atmosphere, genre, style etc, or which make it hard to follow what is happening. Run-ons and sentences that are dizzying to make sense of. Melodrama, aka dramatic without adequate build up.

Infodumping

Explaining details that aren't necessary for the story. Taking a few paragraphs, maybe a page or two, at an appropriate moment in the story (even a whole chapter if it is built-up to correctly). This can be in the text itself or it can be in an appendix or prologue (à la Concerning Hobbits)

Explaining details that aren't necessary for the story. Taking a few paragraphs, maybe even several pages, at an inappropriate moment in the story. It interrupts the flow and pacing. There is no effort to weave or incorporate the information into the story. It is just dumped there.

And yeah, I just think we could solve so much discourse if we acknowledged that we aren't all using the same definitions.

[overthinkinglotr]

I wrote a short fanfic based on this tumblr post discussing monarchy in The Hobbit! Because while LOTR takes place in a magical fairy tale world where monarchy can be good, it is funny to bring the logic of anti monarchical revolutions to middle earth.

The summary:

“It is simply the nature of all kings to kill, plunder, and hoard wealth— in the same way it is the nature of dragons,” Bilbo said.

Bilbo Baggins has lived all his life in The Shire, where leaders are democratically elected. He has never met a king before. Royal families have always been nothing more than characters in stories from far away.

But after meeting several haughty warlike kings on the Quest for Erebor, Bilbo finally realizes why the Shire has no monarchy — it is a ridiculous horrible form of government and no one with any hobbit-sense would ever agree to it.

Following the Battle of the Five Armies, Bilbo explains representational democracy to King Thorin Oakenshield. Overwhelmed by the hobbit’s wisdom, Thorin impulsively converts Erebor into a democratic republic and retires from public life.

But what will happen when Bilbo and Thorin’s actions set off a wave of anti-monarchical democratic revolutions across Middle Earth? Will they ever be allowed to live in peace?

(A book/movie fusion tragicomedy about the struggles of searching for an ending where “they all live happily ever after to the end of their days.”)

[the-really-lonely-mountain]

Along for The Ride - Part 1

Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

Summary: Transported to Middle Earth, you must Join Thorin Oakenshield's Company as they travel to reclaim Erebor! OR: My take on the classic 'modern girl in Middle Earth' troupe. With this first installment, we are following the first movie of The Hobbit trilogy, and falling in love with Kili on the way! Slow burn with this one y'all, nothing spicy till the next work I'm afraid.

Tags: Kili / Reader, Reader-Insert, Slow Burn, Modern Character in Middle Earth, During The Hobbit, How Do I Tag, Canon-Typical Violence, Kíli Is a Little Shit (Tolkien), wrote this while I had covid, in like 4 days lol, implied soulmates, Dwarf Culture & Customs, Freeform, Holding Hands, Cuddling & Snuggling, Sleepy Cuddles, Protective Thorin Oakenshield Company Members, Dwalin & Thorin Oakenshield Friendship, Fluff and Humor, Domestic Fluff, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Where In Middle-Earth Is Gandalf?, Hair Braiding, Dwarf Courting, My First Tumblr Fic, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Fíli & Kíli & Thorin Live, Thorin Oakenshield Lives, Fíli Lives (Tolkien), Kíli Lives (Tolkien)

Word Count: 6,292

A/N: I was utterly appalled by the lack of Kili writers on here and Ao3. Y'all who write for Kili, I've been eating your crumbs like it's the shit (cause it is) for weeks, but one can't be sustained on crumbs alone so I've prepared a feast!! This is the first fic I've ever wanted to post, please be gentle. Comments, Likes, and Reblogs are loved and treasured!!

Tagging the amazing Kili writers I've been living off of for the past few weeks and who have inspired me so they might share in the feast as well lol go check out their stuff too: @mikathemonster, @cowboybeepboop, @littleenglishfangirl, @ethereal-inquisitor, @sweetpeakili

Photo credit: @immawriteyouthings

Divider credit: @cafekitsune

You were having one of those days that made you want to run away from everything. Instead, you walked on the golf course behind your house after hours; no phone, no umbrella, no bag this time, just you. You had what you could fit from your hands in your jean pockets as you walked the grassy field. Something twinkled and caught your eye on the far side of the fairway, there was a sparkle in the ferns. You walked over and began looking through the underbrush. Your hand grazed a smooth stick with a mangled end that encased a gem. You picked it up hoping for a better look but were transported to another world instead!

You appeared in the new world holding the staff. You were standing beside an older fellow with a pointy hat and long grey beard. You looked around and saw many other gruff, burly-looking men sitting in an encampment. They looked as confused as you. You did the only thing you could think of doing at that moment.

You turned around and took off running as fast as you could.

The wizard whose staff you were running away with asked the younger dwarves in his company to fetch you for him. They ran after you as quick as the wind. You dodged trees and hurdled bushes, making an all-around great effort. You were slowing down though. You stopped for a moment to catch your breath and plan. A twig snapped in the distance; quick footsteps closed in on you. You took off again. You needed a place to hide, a moment to think for God's sake. You were afforded no such luxuries. They were gaining, you were tiring. In your drained haste, you tripped on a bush which sent you stumbling and struggling to regain your footing given your momentum. You finally fell and scampered to take cover behind the roots of a great tree. Their footfalls grew slower and drew nearer. They were so close you could hear their words now.

“…She’s hiding, Fili,” one said much closer than you expected them to be.

You tried your best to steady your breathing. Your heartbeat was so loud you knew they could hear it.

“Stop scaring her Kili,” The other chastised. “You know she’s got to be scared half to death”. He walked past you, studying the ground. The other came up the other side of the tree doing the same.

You gripped the staff preparing yourself to be found. They turned in unison following the same tracks and looked up at you simultaneously. They were both panting but not as hard as you. Fili, the elder and more experienced of the two knelt where he stood a few yards from your curled trembling form.

“My name is Fili” He put his hand on his chest and motioned to the man next to him, “This is my brother Kili. We mean no harm to you.” He kept his distance and showed his empty hands. You stayed firmly pressed against the tree trunk, your chest heaving rapidly and your eyes as large as saucers. They could have tackled you, beaten you, or done any number of terrible violating things, but they kept their distance and spoke softly.

“What’s your name?” Kili asked, with a charming smile as he crouched beside his brother.

“Y/N,” you said in a shaky freaked-out tone.

“Y/N, that’s our friend wizard’s staff,” Fili said, “If anyone can figure out how you got here, he can.”

“But you gotta come back to camp with us,” Kili said reaching out his hand as a peace offering. So many horrible things could happen to you in the wild of this new world, but even more on top of that could if you didn’t go with them.

“How can I trust you?” You asked them. They looked at each other.

“How can we trust you?” Kili threw back at you with a suspicious look and recoiled his hand.

“Touche” you nodded returning his look.

“Seems we are at an impasse then,” Fili huffed at his brother, “You want to get home, and our wizard can do that. The only way that can happen is if you come with us back to our camp. We can only offer you our word and promise on our honor as dwarven princes that you will not be harmed by any in our company.”

You thought for a moment and nibbled at your lip, “You promise?” you looked up at Kili this time.

Kili looked you deep in the eyes, and very seriously said: “No harm will ever come to you, on my honor as a prince.”

You nodded at this, “Very well”, and tried to stand up but were stuck against the tree. The 2 men easily lifted you back to your feet. You followed them back to the camp.

You tried your best to hide behind Kili as you approached the wizard smoking a pipe. You peeked from around his shoulder at the other men in the camp. They were looking at you.

“Please sit, my dear,” The wizard said to you, motioning to the rest of the long log beside him “We have much to discuss.”

Your legs wouldn’t move you from behind the dwarf. You were still quite afraid.

“She seems to have taken a liking to you Kili,” the wizard said to him. The rest of the company let out a soft chuckle of agreement. You couldn’t see it from your angle, but Kili smiled and nodded.

“Sit down child, we aren’t going to hurt you,” One of the dwarves sitting across the fire said. You took a deep breath to gather your courage. One false move by any of the others would have you bolting again.

You moved from behind Kili and sat beside the wizard still clutching the staff.

“May I take that from you?” the wizard politely asked. You handed it to him. He explained how this type of thing had happened to a couple of his wizard friends before, but he didn’t know the remedy or spell to undo it or how to prevent it from happening again. You sat quietly listening and nodding. He explained to you and the rest of the company that he was leaving to travel to his friend and inquire about your predicament. In the meantime, he convinced the company and its leader, Thorin you came to know, to keep you in the company as an innocent bystander to help around the camp and whatnot till Gandalf (the wizard) could figure out what to do with you. Gandalf gave you a small sack of coins, instructing you to get a bag, a bedroll, clothes, and any other necessities you’ll need at the next town.

As the fire died down so did the company. They got out their bedrolls and sleeping gear like a synchronized unit and as quickly as they started, they were all asleep snoring softly. Kili had first watch and was sitting on the ground next to you leaning against the log you were on. You slid onto the ground next to him curled with your knees to your chest. He looked over at you. You looked over at him.

“I don’t know what to do now,” you said not hiding the waver in your voice very well, “I’m so scared.” You couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. You cried into your hands as quietly as possible, so you didn’t disturb and anger the others. If you had looked at Kili, you would have seen him in a slight panic and at a loss for what to do, he didn’t know how to console crying women. You sobbed into your hands knowing you just needed to let it all out then you’d be fine. Kili looked at the fire and put his hand on your back. Physical contact of any kind back home was next to nonexistent, it felt nice to know he was trying his best to comfort you. After a few minutes of uncontrollable sobbing and hiccups wracking through you, you began calming down. When you were able to breathe properly, you wiped your face even though tears kept falling. You sniffled and rested your chin on your knees letting the tears fall silently now.

“Do you feel better?” Kili guessed in a soft tone and rubbed his hand on your back.

You nodded at him, “Yes” You took a deep breath and wiped the tears from your eyes as best you could, “Thank you” You looked at him and smiled a little. He smiled and nodded too, still concerned but returned his hand to his lap. You sniffled and looked at the fire.

“Really though I don’t know what I’m doing,” you said. “I’ve never been camping before,” you paused to think. “I don’t know how to fight or use a sword or make a fire or hunt or-or—” You were working yourself up and starting to cry again. Kili cut you off before you could start sobbing hysterically again.

“WOAH! Woah!!” alarmed, he put his hand on your back again, “It’s ok. Calm down.” he said harshly, “Take a deep breath, that seemed to help last time,” He mumbled the last part under his breath. That made you smile despite yourself.

“You don’t know how to console someone, do you?” You took a deep breath and wiped your eyes. He shook his head and took his hand from you. “Seems we’re both out of our depth then,” you said making the mood a bit lighter.

“In my defense, I was raised in a pack of manly men,” He smiled fondly “It’s a wonder my mother got through to me at all.”

“So, you do have a mother,” you said, making him look at you quizzically “I assumed you were raised by wolves,” You shrugged. He laughed and you couldn’t help but smile.

“You’re not completely wrong about that,” He smiled, looking over at the men across the fire. There was a momentary silence. “We’ll teach you those things, how to fight, how to make a fire, all that,” He looked over at you, “I mean who knows how long Gandalf will be, and you’d have to be pretty stupid not to pick up a thing or two even from this bunch.” You smiled and nodded; this calmed your nerves a little. A moment of silence fell between you again.

“Is it ok if I stay up with you?” you innocently asked, “I’m not very tired.”

“Sure,” he said casually, “May I ask about your life back in your world?”

“OK,” You nodded.

“What do you do?” he asked, you gave him a weird look. “Like for a living, how do you make money, how do you spend your days?”

“I’m a student at university at the moment.” He looked at you confused this time. “I spend my days studying at a desk, it’s boring and dull” You quickly summed up.

“Ooohh,” He said, “No wonder you couldn’t run for shit,” He laughed.

You scoffed, “So rude,” You huffed, failing to hide your smile. He was glad you were cheering up a bit.

“If it’s so boring and dull, why don’t you do something else?” He asked, naive to your world and its ways.

“It’s…complicated” you sighed “I have to study to do what I want to do for work even though I don’t want to work or study or do any of that, but I have to make money somehow because I need money to do stuff and buy things because the world I live in is shitty that way and it’s so frustrating sometimes,” you gritted your teeth to make your point.

“Well, what do you want to do then?” he asked, trying to understand your strange world.

“Sit on the beach,” You said without hesitation “…Listen to the waves…sleep on a blanket in the sun,” you sighed wistfully. “Die happy and rich.”

“That does sound nice” He agreed “I’ve never seen a tropical ocean before, the seas near the Blue Mountains are all frozen over.”

“Surely there’s a beach somewhere in this world,” You refused to believe the universe sent you to a world without a beach.

“There is! I’ve heard stories of Southern Gondor, where the sun makes the sand hotter than forges, and the water falls over the horizon in every direction.”

“That sounds like the beaches from back home,” You felt a little bad for him. You’d been practically raised at the beach because it was the only free thing to do in your hometown.

“May I ask a question?” you asked this time.

“Of course,” He shifted to lean against the log and face you.

“What are you guys doing?” you gestured to the camp around you.

“We are on a quest!” He said proudly, “A quest to take back our ancestral home from the dread dragon Smaug,” he said in a sinister voice. He explained about Erebor and the dragon and Thorin to catch you up. You listened, nodded, and took it all in, asking questions and giggling at his jokes. He was a decent storyteller.

“And I’m just along for the ride I guess,” you said deflated about your role in all this.

“If it’s any consolation, you’re quite good company,” He indulged; Kili always got so lonely on watch.

“Yay!” you said over a yawn, “I’d hate to bore any of you,” you replied, genuinely fearing your stories may never measure up to theirs. You leaned over and laid on the soft grass, curled in a ball with your arm as a pillow. You tried not to shiver from the cool evening breeze. You heard some shuffling of fabric, and then a blanket fluttered on top of you. You looked at Kili who smiled and said: “I’m quite the furnace at night, I’ll be fine without it,” he reassured.

“Thank you,” you said over another yawn. You didn’t expect to fall asleep but the next thing you knew it was early morning and you were awoken by the clanging of pots and spoons. You sat up and looked around to get your bearings.

‘Still in the same strange world’ you thought not fully awake. Kili appeared, greeted you good morning, and handed you a bowl of white goo he called porridge. You thanked him and ate your breakfast in silence like the rest of the company. While the men packed up the camp you were tasked with washing the dishes in a nearby stream. You were struck by the beauty of the incredible woods around you even in the dim morning light. You returned to camp and put the dishes in their bag, which was taken by one of your new companions. You felt out of place without a task among everyone who knew what to do. Balin saw you standing in the middle of the camp looking lost. He asked Thorin what they were to do about their lack of an extra pony for you. They decided you could ride with Kili seeing as he was the lightest (next to Bilbo) and his pony could take the weight and because you seemed the most comfortable with him. The old dwarf with a white-grey beard curled up at the ends approached you with as much of a nonthreatening air as he could muster.

“Good morning, my dear!” He greeted you with a chipper smile. “My name is Balin”

“Good morning,” you replied. “I don't quite know what I’m to be doing,” you said sheepishly.

“That’s ok lass, it’ll come with time,” he reassured, “For now, you’ll ride with Kili so you can see if he needs help getting ready.”

“Ok,” You nodded and started walking in Kili’s direction. You stopped in front of his pony and petted its nose and down its neck. “I’ve been told that I’m to ride with you,” you said timidly looking at him adjust his saddle. Kili looked at you and nodded.

“I’ll be happy to have a lovely conversation again” He smiled and looked back at his saddle, making the final arrangements.

He turned to you and said, “I’ll give you a leg up,” And jabbed a thumb at his pony. You nodded and approached the animal. You put your hands on the ponies back and bent your leg waiting for him to help. He leaned forward so he could whisper in your ear: “Wrong leg”. You blushed quite profusely at that and switched legs. He heaved you with such strength he nearly threw you over the other side of the pony. You made yourself comfortable behind the saddle before he hooked his foot in the stirrup and carefully mounted so he didn’t knock you off.

“You ok?” he asked over his shoulder.

“Yep!” you smiled. He nodded. You were excited to see new lands even though you feared what they harbored.

“If you need to hold on to me when we get going you can,” he said, making you both blush despite yourselves.

A few moments later Thorin called out: “Company ready?” in a deep booming voice, “Aye!” They all replied in unison. “Company, move out!” He bellowed and urged his pony forward. The rest followed behind him one by one. When your animal lurched forward you grabbed Kili's waist for dear life. The company was silent till they got to the end of the forest. You had your cheek pressed against Kili’s shoulder and your chest against his back. The fur of his coat was very soft against your face as you turned your head to look over his other shoulder. You yawned but didn’t realize you did it right next to his ear and breathed down his neck. He determinedly kept his eyes on the pony ahead of him to keep the blush rising in his chest at bay.

“You can take a nap if you need to,” he said over his shoulder in a soft voice for only you to hear.

“That sounds like a good idea,” You yawned again. You buried your face in the soft spare fabric of the hood on his back and cuddled closer to him to rest your head on his shoulder. You closed your eyes and sleep swiftly took you. He knew this because he could feel your breathing slow on the back of his neck. He was happy you could sleep and couldn’t help his smile. You shifted now and then, turning your head one way then a while later turning it the other. Kili tried not to talk or move too much in fear of waking your delicate slumber. By midday, you felt very well rested. You took a deep breath and released your grasp on Kili to stretch your arms above your head, arching your back to wake yourself up. You quickly slipped your arms around him again, so you didn’t fall.

“Good morning!” He chirped, “Well afternoon really,” he corrected with a smile, “Sleep well?”

“Mhm,” You hummed against his shoulder “I haven’t slept that well in a long time,” you said thinking back on the restless weeks before your arrival in Middle Earth.

“Good,” He nodded. “Happy I could be of service.”

“Yes, you make quite the comfortable bed,” you replied.

An easy silence settled between you for a while. You contentedly watched the landscape pass by while he kept the pony on the path.

“What’s a good weapon for a beginner?” You asked knowing you needed to start wrapping your head around the fact that you could be stuck here forever and needed to protect yourself. He thought about that for a few moments.

“I’d have to say a bow,” He shrugged, “I don’t know honestly, lemme ask Fili,” he kicked up his pony to walk faster to be next to his brother. “What is the best weapon for a beginner?” He asked him. Fili glanced at you and thought for a moment.

“Hmm I think a sword would be easiest,” He replied, contradicting his brother.

“A sword?!” Kili said incredulously “No that’s one of the harder ones,” He swatted his hand as if to swipe the words from the air.

Fili scoffed “For you maybe,” he said barely keeping his teasing smile under control “But not to the rest of us, my weapon-challenged brother.” That made you giggle. Kili huffed and pulled his horse back, so he wasn’t beside his brother anymore.

“Are you that bad with a sword?” you asked, trying not to laugh too much.

“No!” he exclaimed, “I’m just better with a bow and arrows,” he pouted.

‘Awe he’s so cute when he pouts’ Your thought took you by surprise.

“Perhaps you can teach me, Archer,” Your voice was lower than you intended, making you both blush. Your breath ghosted over his ear making him shiver just a little. He turned his head to look at you over his shoulder, his face so close to yours. He looked at your lips then deep into your eyes holding eye contact.

“Maybe I will,” he said in a deep gruff whisper that made you gasp and goosebumps rush over your skin. He turned back and smiled; proud he could get a rise out of you. You huffed and distanced yourself from him by leaning back, needing the space to calm down.

As night drew closer, Thorin led the company to the edge of a forest and found a shallow cave, more like a cliff overhang to make camp for the night. He told Fili and Kili to take care of the ponies and Oin and Gloin to make the fire. After the meals had been handed out Thorin told you to take Fili and Kili a bowl. You walked through the forest and found them looking at a downed tree in panicked awe.

“Something took 4 of the ponies,” Fili said to you, hoping you’d have the answer to their predicament.

“Yes, and…” you nodded at them trying not to panic yourself “What are you going to do about it since it’s your problem?”

The brothers decided to see what took the ponies and if they could handle it themselves, no need to worry Thorin, right? You followed them as they tracked the pony-nappers. Kili hid behind a tree and peeked around, you hid behind him and peeked over his shoulder. 3 large trolls were something to worry about, and a sight that made that dreadful feeling drop from your chest into your stomach. Your grip on Kili’s coat tightened.

He turned to you and said in barely a whisper, “Go back to camp and tell Thorin”.

Fili was immediately against it, huffing and puffing from behind his tree. Kili shrugged and motioned with hands as if to say, ‘What else would you have us do?!’ Fili huffed again and snuck around the tree. He tried to cut the rope fence with his sword, but he took too long. The trolls caught him. They were deciding ways to eat him when Kili looked at you in alarm and told you to go back to camp. You ran as fast as you could.

“Ponies! Big grey troll things took the ponies!” You said out of breath pointing the way you just came “Fili…in…danger”. Thorin cursed in dwarfish and rallied the company. Balin told you to keep your distance, so you didn’t get caught in the fight.

The dwarves fought bravely but were captured. Bilbo bid for more time while you thought of a plan. You heard the trolls complain about daylight coming and that gave you an idea. You saw the trolls had made camp in the shade cast by a large boulder. You wedged a branch under the rock and used the leverage to try to roll it. It was very heavy, and you were not. It took everything in your power to push the branch to roll the boulder down the ditch edge it rested on. The trolls were washed in sunlight, turning them to stone and freeing the company. They cheered when you stepped over the branch and into the clearing. You helped them from their confines and smiled and blushed when they praised your good job.

Back at camp the company gathered their things and discussed what to do now. Fili suddenly hushed the company.

“Warg howls in the distance,” He whispered to Thorin “They are coming!”

“RUN!” Thorin yelled at the company. Following Thorin everyone started running. You all ran as fast as you could onto a hilly plane sprinkled with trees and boulders. You ran and ran till the Wargs finally caught up. They began to encircle you. The company fought the beasts, taking them down as still more came at them. You went to hide behind the rock formation but fell into it instead. You climbed out as the Wargs were closing in.

“Down here!” you called “There’s a passage this way!” you slid down to make room for the others. Thorin was the last one, as he slid down a horn was blown near the entrance to the passage.

“I can’t see where it leads, do we follow?” One of the dwarves asked.

“Yes! We follow!” Thorin barged through the dwarves and led the company through the narrow pass. You all walked for a few minutes, but then Thorin rounded a corner and slowed as he realized where he’d unwittingly led the company. The rest kept walking around him, but Bilbo stopped and said in admiration: “Rivendell”. You stopped as well to take in the view before you. It was the most beautiful thing you had ever seen. A small town on the side of a mountain with water flowing from beneath some of the glittering structures.

As Thorin led the company over a bridge, you grabbed Kili’s arm to steady yourself as you looked around and took in the ornate statues and architecture of the front steps of a large building. A man much taller than you or the dwarves approached the group.

“We would like to speak to Lord Elrond,” Thorin said through gritted teeth. He was swallowing his pride for the betterment of the quest, that much was clear through his clenched fists and tense shoulders.

“Lord Elrond isn’t here,” The elf said regretfully.

“Then where is he?” Thorin’s patience was growing thin. A horn was sounded on the other side of the bridge you’d just crossed. Everyone turned to see a group of horses galloping towards them. The dwarves began shouting in dwarfish and closing ranks with their weapons ready for battle. You were pushed into the very center of the circle as tall horses and riders circled you. They stopped suddenly and the one on a black horse dismounted.

“My Lord Elrond,” The elf who first approached you said with a bow.

“Lindir” Elrond bowed his head at him then turned to the leader of your group, “Welcome Thorin son of Thrain,” He looked over the dwarf “You have your grandfather's bearings.”

“I’m afraid I know you only from the stories my grandfather told me,” Thorin was doing his best to be polite. (You were later informed that the stories were mostly about him being a ninny.)

“I’d like to offer you and your company a taste of our elfish hospitality,” Elrond said with a warm smile.

“Does that mean we’ll eat?!” Bombur called from the back. The company chuckled at him.

“Yes Bombur, that means we’ll eat” Dori replied. The company cheered at the prospect of a full belly and a warm hearth.

Not long after, you were sat next to Bilbo and Kili at a large table. The salad appetizers were very good despite the dwarves not liking green food very much. You giggled at their jokes about how bad the music was or how they wanted chips and meat. Thorin was sat at another table across from Elrond discussing something you couldn’t hear, but you could tell it pained Thorin to be in the other man's presence.

You turned to Kili beside you. “Thorin looks constipated,” you said in a low voice barely containing your laughter “He can’t even pretend to be enjoying this”. Kili looked over at his uncle and laughed with you.

When the meals were served there was boisterous laughter and general dwarfish shenanigans, the usual at any merry dwarfish gathering. Bilbo looked like he was having PTSD from when they were doing the same at his house at the beginning of the quest. At the end of the meal, Thorin and Balin disappeared with Elrond to discuss a map. You asked Kili if he would escort you to the markets with as much innocent girlish need as you could muster to solidify your security. He agreed and walked with you through the corridors and to the market. He helped you get a fair price on a bag, a blanket, and a bedroll. The next thing you needed was clothes to blend in.

“What do the women around here wear exactly?” You asked him. He shrugged.

“It depends, I guess” He had his hands shoved in his pockets as he followed you around the clothing stalls like a puppy.

“Gee, that’s a big help.” You teased.

After some more wandering you found a stall selling clothes that looked your size. You purchased a dark blue form-fitting tunic that stopped above your knees and had slits on the sides that went up to your hips. It paired very nicely with the brown pants and brown coat with dark blue highlights you bought as well. Kili helped barter with the merchants since you didn’t know the fair price of things here. In another section of the market, you bought spools of black, blue, and pink thread. You put your belongings in your new bag.

“Are we done?” Kili asked, sounding slightly annoyed. He was ready to go back to the others and be away from so many elves. You sighed and rolled your eyes playfully and nodded. He led you through the busy crowded markets by holding your hand. You were thankful he was in front of you so he couldn’t see your blush. You made it back to the group, who had set up camp in a courtyard garden at the end of a hallway. Just as you arrived two female and two male elves came down the hallway.

One of the males stepped forward, “The bathhouse is ready for you now” he said to the group.

“Bath?! We don’t need no stinkin’ bath!” Exclaimed a dwarf from behind the fire. The rest heartily agreed, not ready to drop their pants on elvish soil it seemed.

“I’d like a bath” you timidly said, not wanting to make a fuss but very much wanting to be clean.

“Very good mistress dwarf, if you’ll follow us,” one of the female elves said. You were tense as you followed the four elves down the corridor, not sure what you were doing.

“You best go with her lad,” Dori said to Kili, “You never know what an elf might try to pull.” He glared at the back of the elves as they walked away. Kili nodded and ran after you.

“Y/N!” He called making you and the elves stop.

“Oh, change your mind, Kili?” You asked with an innocent smile, happy to have his company.

“Yeah, I guess so.” He smiled too.

You were led to a large door that opened into a covered hot spring that flowed over the balcony to create an assumably gorgeous waterfall. Columns lined the outer edge of the room which was split down the middle by a cloth partition. The male elves walked to one side of the divider with Kili in tow, while the females walked to the other. The elves asked that you wash under the heated shower of water off to the side before entering the hot springs. They left you to your own devices.

“I’ve never seen anything like this have you?” You asked Kili across the large room.

“No” He smiled at the wonder in your voice from seeing new things and making discoveries. He thought it was very cute.

You placed your bag and new clothes on the vanity in the corner. You undressed and stepped under the warm shower. You used the bar of soap you found to wash your hair and body. It was the best-smelling soap you’d ever had the pleasure of experiencing.

“Hey, Kee?” You hollered.

“Yeah?” He yelled back.

“Do you plan on keeping your soap?”

“No…Why?”

“I’ll take it then. I’ll need extra anyway,” And you were so happy you did. That soap made your hair silky smooth and stronger than ever. You rinsed the suds away then stepped into the hot springs.

It felt luxurious. You couldn’t help but moan a little as the heat pulled every knot and tense muscle from you. Relaxed, you floated in the steamy water.

“You still there Kili?” you asked suddenly nervous he’d left you.

“Yeah, I’m here” He replied, “We shouldn’t take too much longer though, Thorin could be back any minute and who knows what kind of a mood he’ll be in.”

That made you enjoy the bath a little faster. Not long after you began drying off and getting dressed. You took the hairbrush and beads and other miscellaneous hair trinkets that were on the vanity. You looked in the mirror at your new outfit. It fit as you thought, though a little snugger in some places than others, hugging your curves to allow for movement yet still baggy for breathability and insulation. Overall, a nice ensemble.

“Ready Y/N?” Kili asked from across the partition.

“Yeah, you can come over, I’m just packing my things.” You replied, folding your old clothes, and putting them in your bag with the rest of your things.

“Here’s the soap” He handed it to you.

“Thanks!” You smiled at him; you simply wrote his flushed cheeks off to the hot water. When you stood, he was able to get a much better look at you in your new clothes.

“A perfect fit I see” He smiled, looking you up and down. He couldn’t help but imagine what you’d look like wearing nothing but his tunic. A line of thought he blushed at and quickly willed away.

“Does it look alright? I don’t know how it’s supposed to fit” You fussed with the hems and the folds trying to make them lay better. He grabbed your hand to make you stop fidgeting.

“You look great,” he said with a genuine smile. You smiled and nodded your appreciation.

You walked back to camp, making moneyless bets on what mood Thorin would be in when he returned.

As you approached Fili saw you in your new outfit and said, “Well look at this…” Making the rest of the company look at you too, “Our wee lass looks like a bona fide middle earther now!” They cheered at your near-complete indoctrination.

“Now she just needs to learn how to fight like one.” Bofur quipped from beside the fire.

“Then I wouldn’t need any of you to protect me!” You put the back of your hand to your forehead feigning a damsel in distress, making the company laugh. You sat on the ground beside the long chair Kili was now examining his weapons in and leaned against it. You held out a stone fish figurine to him.

“As a thank you for helping me” you cleared your throat “…And for being my friend.” You couldn’t meet his eyes, but you knew he was smiling a little around his reed pipe. He took it from your open hands. You know it wasn’t much but it’s all you could offer.

“Maybe one day you can return it to the ocean,” you said, referring to your previous conversation.

“Maybe I will,” he smiled down at you with genuine fondness.

“Bombur!” Bofur called before throwing a sausage to his cousin. The table, which took skilled elfin craftsman months, even years to craft and carve out of solid wood, collapsed under the massive weight of Bombur. Everyone erupted in laughter, it was nice to be part of the group and share in the merriment.

~~

Thorin stopped Balin on their way back to the camp, “We should leave her here,” He said, “She is a liability.”

Balin had a terrible sinking feeling in his round tummy when he thought of splitting you up.

“So what if she is, Thorin?” Balin said near pleading. “Have you ever seen your nephew that happy or open with a girl that quick before? I’ve never seen the lad so engaged in a conversation that didn’t have to do with weapons before last night. So what if she dies on our quest, at least we gave them a chance to happen, and if fate finds their pairing favorable it will all work out!” Balin was desperate to keep you and the young prince together if only to keep the sinking feeling at bay.

Thorin huffed, “Very well, but her blood is not on my hands,” He walked away and into the camp.

~~

Thorin and Balin returned, and the tone became slightly more serious—slightly. The company settled and laid their bedrolls in the grassy parts of the garden. You laid yours out as well and prepped for sleep by removing your shoes and coat. The night was warm enough that your blanket would suffice. You looked up at the stars wondering if any of the constellations were the same as back home. You cuddled your coat to your chest relishing the feel of the soft fabric. The low conversation between Fili and Kili, while they sat on watch across the fire, lulled you to sleep.

Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

[retellingthehobbit]

I’m making a webcomic adaptation of The Hobbit! It’s an epic cool passion project that incorporates as much of Tolkien’s prose as possible while also being my own take on the story, it features a variety of different art styles to represent the worlds of different characters in Middle Earth, it’s over 100 pages long already, the art/writing keeps gradually improving over time, and you should follow it! Like, comment, and subscribe! *dabs*

Okay I admit I’m awful at ‘marketing.’ But my point stands! Follow for queer Tookish antics over the Edge of the Wild. 

You can keep up by following me here at @retellingthehobbit on Tumblr. This blog posts a new 10ish-page-long chapter once a month (on the 13th), as well as assorted WIP art :3. The first chapter on tumblr is here. (I started out posting on my main @secretmellowblog, so the earlier chapters were posted there instead.) However, I personally recommend keeping up with the comic by bookmarking it on ao3 here or subscribing on Webtoon here. This keeps all the chapters neatly organized in one place, and also sends you an email notification whenever it updates, which is helpful because I don't update weekly :). I currently update monthly, on the thirteenth day of every month.

Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoy!