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lindsey-laufeyson · 16 hours ago

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Distractions- Chapter 24

Distractions Masterlist

Pairing: Reader x FWB!Tom Hiddleston

Series Warnings: SMUT, fluff, angst, friends with benefits

After that morning with Tom, when you felt like you were falling all over again, you decided you needed some distance. He’d tried to hook up a few times after that, and as much as you wanted to, you knew it wouldn’t be healthy for either of you, so you told him you were busy. Still, there were so many nights when you came dangerously close to texting him to come over. How the fuck were you supposed to get over him?

Your question was answered when you got a call about a film that was about to start production in Los Angeles and they wanted you as their Head HMUA. It was an amazing opportunity for you, and you couldn’t believe that they wanted you, and were even prepared to pay to fly you in from London.

The film was expected to take around two months to shoot, but while you were there, you could network, build connections, book more high profile Hollywood projects, and maybe even build a new life there. You loved London, but you felt like the kind of career opportunities it had to offer had sort of plateaued, and the only person in your life that you’d really miss was Tom, but you’d already been missing him for months now. You missed what you had before everything got so messy, but you knew you’d never get that back, so what was really keeping you here? Maybe distancing yourself in the most literal sense would be what you needed to finally get over him.

So, you accepted the job and you found a flat to rent, and once you got settled, as long as everything went well, you’d sell your house in London. Meanwhile, you didn’t know how you’d tell Tom. There were several times when you had the message all typed out, but you just couldn’t press send. Before you knew it, it was your last day in London before you left for California, which also happened to be the premiere of the film that you and Tom had done together. You were so busy packing that you lost track of time, eventually arriving at the theatre at the last possible second.

Watching the final product was gratifying enough to keep you distracted, but as soon as the lights came back up, you carried on worrying about how to tell Tom. It had to be tonight. It was your last chance. Unfortunately, you weren’t able to pluck up the courage until well into the night when you suddenly blurted it out during your heavy make out session in the kitchen.

“I’m moving to LA.”

Tom’s head shot up from kissing your neck, his eyes wide. “What?”

You looked down at your hands and fidgeted nervously as they rested up against his chest. “I’ve been hired for a film in LA and I’ve decided to move there. Permanently.”

Tom stepped back and turned around, grabbing a nearby towel and wiping the rest of the chocolate off of his face with a frustrated grunt before he turned back to you. “Where the hell did this come from? Why do you want to leave London?”

“I’ll have better career opportunities in LA. And, I mean…” You took a deep breath. “There’s nothing really left for me here.”

Tom stared at you for a moment. “Nothing left for you here? Really?”

“What? You expect me to stay for the occasional shag?”

He shook his head and scoffed. “Nevermind.”

“No, what is it? Because there was a point when we didn’t talk for three fucking months and you didn’t seem to have a problem with it.”

“You told me to get the fuck out of your life, so I did!”

“I was giving you an out! It was completely up to you whether you took it or not!”

“You pushed me away! And you expected me to think that I actually had a choice in the matter? Do you not see how fucked up that is? You can’t keep pushing people away and expect them to keep coming back!”

“I didn’t push you away expecting you to come back. I pushed you away to protect myself from getting hurt!”

“Why were you so sure you would get hurt?”

The words came out of your mouth before you could stop them. “Because I had feelings for you, okay? Like head over bloody heels! But I knew you didn’t feel the same so—“

“You had feelings for me?” he interrupted, looking stunned.

“Yeah, but—“

“What on earth gave you the idea that I didn’t feel the same?”

“Because you never stopped fucking other people,” you said as if it was obvious. “Which is completely in your right, but I couldn’t get past it.”

He looked genuinely confused. “Y/n, I never slept with anyone else.”

“Please don’t lie to me,” you told him, rolling your eyes. “It only makes me feel worse.”

“I’m not lying!”

“I know you slept with Evelyn Dawson, okay?”

His confusion only seemed to worsen. “What? Evelyn and I are just friends!”

You scoffed. “Yeah, like you and I were just friends? I saw the text she sent you while I was still in Hawaii.”

“What text?”

“The one where she called me your ‘friend’ in quotes and said something about ‘don’t forget about the other night.’”

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “A few nights before you came to visit, Evelyn got me to admit I had feelings for you and she wanted me to tell you.”

It took you a moment to process this. He had feelings for you too? “Wh— why didn’t you?”

“I was going to, but then you left like the night before meant nothing!” he said, frustratedly.

“I left like that because I saw that text and assumed that the night before meant nothing to you!”

You both looked at each other, and once you processed this huge misunderstanding, you both started laughing. It started out small, as you both tried to hold it back, but it wasn’t long before you were both in a fit. As you laughed, you sunk to the floor, leaning your back against the large industrial oven. Tom sat down next to you, and as your laughter subsided, you both sighed and there was a beat of silence. If you had only talked to each other about how you felt all that time ago, maybe you could have been happy together, but instead you’d created this giant rift between the two of you. One you weren’t sure you could ever fully repair.

“They never went away, you know– my feelings for you,” Tom said after a moment.

You looked up at him in surprise, but he was looking at the ground. “I thought you hated me,” you admitted quietly.

“I was angry with you for a long time, but I could never hate you, Sweets.”

Hearing him call you ‘Sweets’ for the first time in over seven months made tears begin to well up in your eyes. “I’m so sorry I said all those awful things,” you choked out as you began to cry.

“Hey, it’s okay,” he consoled you as he pulled you into his arms. “It’s okay, sweetheart. I’m sorry too.” Your face was hidden in his chest, but you could hear in his voice that he was beginning to cry as well.

You lifted your head and gave him a stern expression. “Don’t you cry too, Hiddleston. I can’t take it.”

He chuckled through his tears and smiled as he wiped yours away with his thumbs. “Then you’re going to have to stop too, you know. It’s only fair.” You laughed and sniffled while he just smiled at you for a moment before he spoke again. “Don’t go to LA.”

Your face fell. It took everything you had in you to resist his plea. You worried that he only wanted what he couldn’t have, and you weren’t going to risk getting hurt again if there was a chance you were right. “Tom, I have to. I’ve already signed my contract for the film as well as the lease for a flat in Anaheim. My plane leaves in the morning.”

“You leave tomorrow? Shit, Y/n!” he rubbed his face with both hands in frustration. “Why did you wait until now to tell me?”

“I didn’t know how to tell you! Until about five minutes ago, I didn’t even know where we stood! I guess I convinced myself that you wouldn’t care.”

“So that’s it then? We’re finally honest with each other about how we feel and you’re still going to leave?”

“This isn’t one of your films, Tommy, this is real life,” you told him gently. “Just because we admitted we had feelings for each other doesn’t mean it's happily ever after all of a sudden. Especially with our history. I mean, look at everything we’ve put each other through. We’re not good for each other.”

Tom leaned his head back against the oven and took a deep breath. “I miss my best friend, Sweets.”

You have no fucking idea, you thought. “So do I, but I’m moving, I’m not dying. This way we can still be friends without complicating it with sex. And then hopefully by the next time you’re in LA, all of the sexual tension will be gone.”

He looked at you skeptically. “Sweetheart. It’s us.”

You laughed. “Alright, we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. I’m just saying that this doesn’t have to be a goodbye forever kind of thing. At least, I really hope it isn’t.”

“I don’t think it could be, even if we tried, honestly,” he said with a chuckle.

“You might be right,” you agreed, laughing as you let your head fall to rest on his shoulder. Tom kissed the top of your head before resting his head on top of yours, both of you sighing heavily.

“Hey,” Tom said, lifting his head back up after a moment of comfortable silence. “Want to go on one last little London adventure?”

“It’s like two in the morning,” you told him with a giggle as you lifted your head to look at him.

“What time is your flight?”

“7am.”

“Well then we have plenty of time now don’t we?” He practically jumped up onto his feet and held out his hand.

“Am I not allowed to sleep tonight?” you asked as he helped you up off the floor.

“You can sleep on the plane! You’ve got to adjust to the time difference anyway, haven’t you?”

Your hesitation was easily overpowered by the temptation of spending one last night with him. “Fuck it. Let’s do it.”

“Yes!” He pumped his fist triumphantly. “Right, well, we better clean up before we go anywhere, huh?”

As you were cleaning up the evidence of your little tart heist, you suddenly heard someone coming.

“Shit,” you whispered to Tom who was attempting to rewrap the plate of tarts. He hastily put them back in the fridge, then grabbed your hand and pulled you through the back door and into a service hallway. With your hand still firmly in his, he led you through the labyrinth of hallways and staircases, panting and giggling as you attempted to find your way out of the building. When you finally felt the cool night air on your skin as you stepped out onto the pavement of Northumberland Avenue, you bent forward, bracing your hands on your knees as you tried to catch your breath.

“That was mad,” you wheezed.

Tom chuckled as he looked at the state of you. “Are you going to make it?”

“Might I remind you that I’m not an insane person who runs 8 kilometers every single day, and I’m in heels!”

“And might I remind you that all of that cardio came in handy quite often with you.”

“Touché,” you conceded as you stood up straight and looked around. “Shouldn’t you call a car or something?”

“I actually thought we could walk to Trafalgar Square for your last night here. That is, if you think you’ll survive walking a whole block.”

“As long as we aren’t running, I’ll be fine.”

As the two of you walked and caught each other up on your lives the past few months, your hands would occasionally brush against each other, and you could feel that same electricity that you used to feel when you were with him. You wondered if he felt it too, but then quickly reminded yourself that you were moving halfway across the world in the morning.

When you arrived at Trafalgar Square, it was deserted, which was incredibly rare. You’d never been there at this time of night. In fact, you usually avoided it all together because most of the time it was swarming with tourists. You sat down on the edge of one of the two large fountains, colorful light emanating from the water.

“It’s so peaceful,” you said, looking around the square.

“It really is,” he agreed as he sat down next to you. “Are you sure you want to move to noisy, crowded LA?” He nudged you with his shoulder and you chuckled slightly.

“Did you bring me here just to try to convince me to stay?”

“Not at all. I know better than to try to change your mind when it's already set on something.” He smiled and winked at you. “I just wanted to make the best of tonight, is all.” He began taking his shoes and socks off.

You looked at him, puzzled. “What are you doing?”

“Well, you can’t leave London without dancing in one of these fountains at least once.” he placed his socks, shoes, and jacket on a nearby bench and began rolling up his sleeves and trouser legs.

“Do you not see the signs in the water that say ‘no entry’?” you asked, with a giggle.

“There’s literally no one around!” He gestured around the square. “Come on, Sweets. Live a little!” He took his phone out of his pocket and began tapping the screen.

“Wow, you really are the God of Mischief tonight, aren’t you?” you teased.

He laughed as he set his phone down on the edge of the fountain and then stepped in. Meanwhile, you heard the unmistakable intro to Cher’s If I Could Turn Back Time.

“Oh my god,” You shook your head at him, but you were grinning from ear to ear. The song instantly brought to mind one of your favorite memories you had with him.

He stood with his hand out to you, his hips and shoulders moving to the rhythm.

You quickly took your shoes off, stood up, held up the skirt of your dress with one hand, and took his hand with your other as you stepped up onto the edge and then into the water. He pulled you close and the two of you began dancing and singing to the song, just as you’d done in his trailer over a year ago. For the first time in a very long time, you weren’t over analyzing everything that was going on between you. You let yourself have fun and be silly, and just enjoy the moment without worrying what would come next.

As the song ended, Tom spun you around, but he lost his grip, and you lost your footing. You fell back into the water, nothing to break your fall but your own ass. Tom gasped and came to your aid immediately, but you just laughed.

“I’m so sorry, darling! Are you okay?” He took your hand to help you stand back up, but you just pulled him down into the shallow water with you as you continued to giggle.

“I’m great now!” you told him as he looked down at his now sopping wet clothes.

“I think you’ve had enough time in the fountain,” he said as he began laughing with you. He made to grab you, but you quickly got up and ran. He chased you around the fountain, and when he finally caught you around the waist from behind, you screamed as he lifted you up and spun around before climbing out of the fountain and setting you down carefully on the ground.

After you were finally able to settle down from your laughing fits, the two of you put your shoes back on. Then, without even asking if you needed it, Tom put his dry suit jacket over your shoulders.

“I’m not taking your one piece of dry clothing after I pulled you into the water like that,” you protested.

“You seem to be under the impression that you have a choice in the matter, when you actually don’t.” He told you with a playful kind of austerity. “You are not catching a cold on the walk back to my car. Besides, it’s not my only piece of dry clothing. I have my socks.” He winked at you and you rolled your eyes as you put your arms through the sleeves of the jacket.

You talked and laughed and joked the entire walk to the car and the whole drive to your house. The two of you walked to your front door, but when you stepped over the threshold, he stayed on the front stoop. You turned and looked at him with a slightly puzzled expression. “You are allowed to come in, you know.”

He smiled at you, but there was no mistaking the sadness in his eyes. “You should get some sleep before your flight, sweetheart.”

You looked at the time. 3AM. “Seeing as though I only have two hours before I have to be at the airport, I think I’m well past getting any sleep tonight. Besides, what happened to ‘You can sleep on the plane’?” You did your best Tom impression when you said the last bit.

“I should really go, Y/n,” he said seriously.

“Oh.” Your heart sank as you were brought back to reality. “Of course, yeah.”

You started taking his jacket off, but he stopped you. “Keep it. Really. I have plenty.”

You looked at him with a sort of half smile. “Thanks.”

He took a deep breath and his smile slowly faded. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course,” you replied.

“If I’d told you how I felt when we were in Hawaii, would you still be moving to the States right now?”

A lump formed in your throat as you looked at the ground. “Tom, please. Don’t–”

“Please, Y/n,” he softly implored. “I’ll drive myself mad if I don’t know the answer.”

You tried to picture what your life could have been like with him, but you couldn’t get past that nagging feeling that it was only a silly schoolboy crush, and as soon as he’d gotten what he wanted he’d get bored of you. The tears you’d been trying to hold back finally began to fall. “Honestly?” You looked up at him through your tears. “I don’t know.”

He sighed shakily, looking toward the sky as his own tears escaped down his cheeks.

“Hey,” you said softly as you cradled his face in your hands and looked in his eyes. “We’ll be alright, Tommy. You’re not gonna lose me.”

“Then why does it feel like I already have?”

Unable to find the words to answer him, more tears fell as you pulled him in for a kiss, long, slow, and deep. It was full of longing and pain. You never wanted it to end, and yet your brain was screaming for you to run while you could. As soon as your lips parted, you hugged him tight.

“Bye, Tommy,” you said softly in his ear before pulling away.

He swallowed hard, his blue eyes swimming in tears as they stared back at you. “Bye, Sweets.”

You quickly turned around and went into your house, sobbing as soon as the door shut behind you.

A/N: I'm so sorry! But I promise this is by no means the end!

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