#hmm.. i dont know the word for it.

[todayisafridaynight]

Sorry to keep throwing Miscellaneous Asks your way, but I finally had a moment to get my thoughts in order on one of the points on your Venn diagram I wanted to talk about! I always kind of debate whether or not to send other, semi-unrelated long asks like this when we've already got a chain going, but oh well. I'll try and address anything brought up in response here in the main one and hopefully it doesn't get confusing lol.

So I was thinking about the extent of Jo and Arakawa's relationship. It is completely true there's not much you can say that's concrete, especially since most of what we see is from Jo's perspective. Although his perspective is crucial to forming an understanding of their relationship, it's not sufficient. This is particularly the case because, coming back to giri-ninjo for a moment, Jo is largely bound by giri; it's clear his loyalty runs deep, but it's not a choice for him.

Arakawa, on the other hand, can choose who he places his trust in, especially early on. And I think it's incredibly important that, despite having men who've already been with him from day 1, men who've already been helping him with his son, Arakawa chooses to "place every confidence" in Jo (per an old Famitsu profile, one of the first official ones) and chooses to make Jo his captain.

Similarly, he kind of chooses Jo "over" Ichi in sending Ichi to prison "instead of" Jo. Perhaps the family really would collapse without Jo's talents, but… does it have to collapse entirely? Didn't Arakawa make it pretty far on his own? I guess it's neither here nor there, but I've always wondered if things would've really played out as feared if Jo went to prison instead. Not to understate Jo's role in the family, of course.

Anyway, I think that trust shows not only in overt gestures such as entrusting Masato and the family's finances to Jo, but also in more subtle behind-the-scenes ways, such as what we were talking about before with regard to New Year's 2001. There's also the fact that leaking information to Aoki was Jo's idea; for that to be the case, Arakawa would have to discuss Aoki's threats at length with Jo. (Unrelated, but come to think of it, "complying with him [to] make him see value in keeping us around" is very often the strategy of victims of abuse and neglect…)

And this one's an underrated detail many people miss, but after Arakawa shot Ichi, while he was able to come up to Ichi to tell him he's counting on him and sneak in the fake bill, if the goal was to not arouse suspicion, I don't think he would exactly have been able to excuse himself from the dinner to drive Ichi to Yokohama. Time was of the essence in terms of Ichi's survival, so that leaves Jo, who was conveniently already at the scene and who was certainly in on the "secret rule" that constitutes part of the Arakawa Family's agreement with the homeless camp. Overall, there is a pattern of Arakawa approaching Jo before anyone else, isn't there?

Sort of branching off of that, I would personally feel comfortable saying that Jo knows Arakawa better than anyone else. He seems to know details about Akane and New Year's 1976 no one else does, details Arakawa would have had to volunteer himself, and that plus his own experiences are what allow him alone to have the most complete picture of that night.

I also get the impression Jo understands Arakawa better as a person than anyone else--certainly better than Aoki, but perhaps even better than Ichi in some cases. There are multiple instances where he defends Arakawa and challenges their perceptions of him--that he's "betrayed" the Tojo Clan, that he's betrayed Aoki, that he's the type to scheme and make power-plays behind Aoki's back. He hasn't. And, despite how little Jo's "allowed" to say, he turns out to be right every time. Also worth noting Arakawa does something similar in asking Ichi to try and understand Jo's frustrations, though he's more or less enabling Jo's abuse in doing so.

Lastly, The Smallest Detail that drives me kind of insane. Them arriving at the office in the back seat of the same car in one of Ichi's flashbacks. I wouldn't think too much of it if it were any other time of day, but the first-thing-in-the-morning quality and the fact Jo isn't driving (thus it's not as an act of service but as an equal) is like… Okay. You're carpooling to work. And if you're not carpooling, you're honest-to-god living together. What the hell.

So a lot of it is this web of inferences--it has to be, at least currently--but I really do think there's a lot to chew on. More than meets the eye, anyway. I've also been stewing in all of this for years, especially since drafting Jo's relationships section, so I might just have inhaled the fumes for too long lol

Thank you for coming to me about the nature of their relationship! Although I did put it down as being more-or-less 'uncertain' on my chart, I do agree that their relationship isn't as cut-and-dry as other relationships might be (it's going back to appreciating the complexities of RGG relationships, especially in the case of the Arakawa's where for every party involved it really IS complicated)

I wanted to exclude making any definitive statements on things that couldn't be verified without making a detour on the original post (I know I already mentioned frequently that Arakawa is able to joke about Jo being 'softer' on Masato, but I do think about their relationship often and the implied depth of Jo's loyalty if- as you said- he was able to climb through the ranks of the Arakawa family much quicker than preexisting members), but there are clear points in the game that due allude to a great trust between the two (and I also note that carpooling detail during Ichi's flashback- or at the very least I know I'd find myself noticing Jo sitting in the back opposed to the front/driving). It's definitely not hard to assert that Jo knows Arakawa well either, it's hard not to come to that conclusion when we have evidence from the game to infer that.

[meamiki]

mira !!! :]

[deoidesign]

A frustrating development with the growing lack of reading comprehension I've personally noticed is an emerging fervor of insisting things aren't canon unless they are explicitly stated beyond all reasonable doubt.

I can not emphasize enough how harmful a mindset this is to have. Yes, it's wonderful to have characters outright say "I'm trans," but to deny a character's identity for not saying that is dangerous.

Plenty of real people prefer not to use specific labels. Historically, people didn't have our modern terms or modes of expression. Many modern cultures don't use these terms, either, and plenty of people within those that do can't safely openly identify.

If the only representation you accept as canon is within modern (and let's be honest, wealthy white able-bodied American) standards, then you are denying yourself and others a huge amount of representation and seriously limiting the media around you.

[yuhi-san]

I’ve seen a few posts pointing out how stampede vash lacks the anger that 98 and especially trimax vash has. Which is true.

And it is important. Because vash isn’t the too morally strong or good or kind to be angry or whatever. Vash has a lot of rage about a lot of things. he chooses to be kind despite it rather than not being angry at all.

His sheer determination to not give into anger and choosing kindness over and over again is very important to who he is.

(personally I think that while tristamp vash went through a lot already too, he simply has not quite reached that point)

What I haven’t really seen are post pointing out that stampede vash, unlike 98 and trimax vash, does not cry.

Vash cries a lot. Some of it is for the comedy and because he is dramatic like that and also he isn’t above trying to get pity that way (with little success lol).

But he also cries a lot just… because. I don’t know how to explain it.

Like vash has no shame or inhibition to cry when that’s what he feels. Not gonna lie, I know trimax mostly from spoilers so far (shame on me) but especially in 98 vash cries very freely. He cries when he thinks he will have to watch that ex-mob boss or whatever being shot. Cries after killing, cries after monev kills all these people and he wants to shot him but wont. And so so many more.

Like that time he just suddenly drops his donuts and cries in the middle of the street.

Vash is friendly and sociable on a surface level but he has cut himself off from so much. Keeps so many things on the inside. Crying seems the one thing he doesn’t hold back on. Maybe his only genuine outlet for the pain.

Vash hides his scars, his pain and much more but he never hides his tears.

Vash, in 98 even says ‘is there something wrong with that?’ when the kids note that he is crying despite being an adult.

In contrast to that, stampede vash never really cries. He even states that he doesn’t deserve to.

We see him shed tears just once, at the very end when it becomes clear to him that he can’t save nai and that his brother and him have grown so far apart that he barely recognizes him anymore. He sheds silent tears for nai, for them, at what he certainly believed to be the very end.

Stampede vash is not only a lot more timid than his counterpart but seems overall more repressed and and emotionally dulled/exhausted

[bright-eyes-strawberry-lies]

Idk what you guys mean when you say "HOO is so much darker and more mature" than PJO. They contain the same things.

[musicalsiphonophore]

my workload this year is absolutely absurd (1.5x as much hw time as class time in maths, and since it’s double maths i have 8hrs of lessons weekly so that is A Lot, and probs as much hw time as class time in french and bio, but then i put extra time into bio myself). so i would expect to be deeply unhappy about this. but i’m not and i’m actually quite enjoying it. which is odd.

i guess it makes sense though. it has always been that in my spare time, i work on my hyperfixationy stuff, making notes on random crap or working on flute; i have never done nonworking free time stuff like watching tv (except going on tumblr ofc). and now a good half-odd of my school work is hyperfixation stuff. so i am, strangely enough, thriving under these conditions

[elfdyke]

ermmm actually op ☝️🤓 that is in fact misogyny! because you didnt blatantly spell it out in your tumblr post its rather clear to an advanced mind such as my own that you have a very limited grasp on feminism and discussions around misogyny.

[ofpd]

ok so im not sure that this is articulate for ppl who aren't calendarheads like me but the jewish and islamic calendars are both calendars in which a year is 12 lunar cycles, and the difference is that the jewish calendar has leap months whereas the islamic calendar does not. so every 2/3 years, the jewish calendar actually has 13 months, and so each time there's a leap month, the jewish and islamic months become out-of-sync by one month. the jewish leap months are timed so that the calendar is in accordance with the metonic cycle (the way that the lunar and solar cycles always align in the same way they did 19 years previously). which is to say, since the jewish calendar was standardized, there have been cycles of 19 years wherein there is a leap month during the 3rd, 6th, 8th, 11th, 14th, 17th, and 19th years (sidenote—you can find what year we are in the cycle by dividing the jewish year by 19 and taking the remainder. for example, this year is 5783, and 5783/19=304r7, so it's the 7th year in the cycle, and not a leap year). but last year was the 6th year in the cycle—it was a leap year. so, it shifted the jewish calendar wrt the islamic calendar, and it put the month nissan (the month in which passover is celebrated) in alignment with the month of ramadan. this year, ramadan and nissan will stay in alignment. and next year, the 8th year in the cycle, ramadan will be in alignment with the leap month itself, which is inserted before nissan. so, it'll take 12 more jewish leap years before nissan and ramadan co-occur (if you look closely, you'll notice that it takes 33 years for 12 jewish leap years to occur, and you might recognize 33 as the number of years it takes for the islamic calendar to fully cycle around the gregorian calendar. which, of course, is not a coincidence!). as you can see, most of the gaps between leap years are 3 years long, but at the current part of the cycle, it's 2 years long. ANYWAY all this is to say that if it were a 3-year gap rn we'd be able to reuse that he is risen/he is not/he is off-limits until sunset meme for 3 years instead of just 2. sad.

[buwheal]

Summons a cake for spamton

it would be REALLY awesome if people read the RULES first.. You know, the rules mentioned both in my bio and at the VERY TOP of my page, in bright orange, largest font, with a link attached? READ THE RULES OF THINGS YOURE GOING TO INTERACT WITH, PLEASE.

[demonbarberofbeepbeep]

hurt/comfort lucy barker save me

[platonic-qpr-selfshipping]

don't mind me just leaving more random writing around here to have it all in the same place. I have my last exam tomorrow so I thought about posting it for luck and confidence boost of some sort lmao, l i need a proper break but self-indulgent fanfiction can do a lot in the meantime

Sethos idea based on something @infernal-selfships mentioned while talking about him, Im so grateful for all your support bro

this was just to experiment i have no idea of how I actually feel about Sethos lmao JHSBDS I just enjoyed wondering about it but I'll hopefully meet him this week!!

Sethos felt N's head against his back for a moment, a mere second that proved to him that he wasn't imagining things when he first felt it. There was only one lantern guiding their way through the desert at those hours of the night, and N's body, right behind him on that camel, had started to feel warmer and closer than any light.

Perhaps he was, in fact, making up allegories he shouldn't have.

"Are you falling asleep?" Sethos asked, smiling to himself.

"Just a little. I'm not used to staying up this late, I'm sorry."

By Sethos' command, the camel began to slow down its pace. N was so sleepy it took them a whole moment to actually notice it and, when it practically stopped, Sethos turned to them in his seat:

"C'mon, get down. You're gonna fall down if you fall asleep back there."

"Huh?"

The thought of Sethos leaving them in the middle of the desert crossed their mind. N looked around. Sand, dunes and more mountains of sand. Was he really going to...?

"Do you need help?" the young man asked, slightly confused at his companion's silence. 

"No, I— Are you gonna leave me here?"

It could have been the question, perhaps the serious tone of it, what made a chuckle grow in him. Sethos tried not to laugh, but his entertained expression was unmatchable.

"Pft— N, please, why would I? I just want you to sit in front of me."

"Oh," they answered, their sleepy eyes letting surprise slip through. And so they held onto the chair once more and jumped down the camel in a few seconds. After petting their animal friend, who had turned to greet them, N stared at the new spot Sethos had just made space for. "I think I need help to get up there, though."

"No problem, I can always lend you a hand."

One moment and their hands were one. Another and a pull gave them momentum to get on the seat again. From that position at the front of it, it was now them who felt the other by their back. 

And ahead of them, the hidden desert and its silence felt both peaceful and scary.

"Hey there, I actually meant the other way around," Sethos teased. "You should face me so you don't fall to the front, am I right?"

"Oh, right."

N struggled a bit to change their position up there, but did so either way. Sethos' suggestion seemed logical, so why wouldn't they? Despite the sleepiness, their movements were so precise that Sethos couldn't find a chance to explain the meaning behind his words. Next thing he knew, N's nose seemed to be centimetres from his and they were trying to figure out where to put their arms without clinging to the guy. He wondered if his ears had ignored some words due to his heartbeat suddenly getting louder.

"Like this?" N asked, still avoiding his eyes. "You sure you're gonna be comfortable with me here?"

Sethos swallowed saliva. "Yeah, just— As long as you're comfortable. Feel free to fall asleep."

"I don't intend to use you as a pillow," they chuckled.

"Too bad, then," he answered with a playful tone. Next, he pulled the rope to continue marching.

But the sudden shift because of the movement made N, who unconsciously feared for their balance, hold onto him with one of their arms. "Uh, sorry."

"Shh, it's alright. You can hold onto me, we're closer than that, won't you agree?"

Their eyes met for the first time since N had sat down. Then silence, and a reassuring smile from Sethos. He was becoming a bit fed up with the way his brain had decided to overthink the littlest actions for the past few days, making him now fear that he would lose control of the rope and camel just to continue staring at N. Yet he managed to keep his usual smile, trusting that would be enough realness on his part— also not too much.

"...I suppose I'll take you up on that," N finally answered, softly smiling back. "But please, do tell me if you get uncomfortable. Wake me up if needed, I won't mind."

"Suuure."

N's arms relaxed as they gently wrapped Sethos in them. Some fingers had a stronger grip on his clothes, but the embrace was tender overall. Seeing they got no complaints, they let drowsiness take over and slowly rested their head against his shoulder. In the middle of that night, Sethos appeared like the source of warmth they could cling to, and their body made sure not to draw away. Not when it was him, not when he was there.

However, relaxing had suddenly become a hard task for Sethos.

It was silly, he thought. The way his thoughts seemed to suddenly stop, how his body reacted at the touch of the other, at some of their words too, even. Archons, perhaps even at their sight, at least lately. Having his outgoing thoughts clash with unexpected feelings like those wasn't something he knew how to deal with.

He had suspected they would get along, sure, but he feared he had started to like them so much that the sole reason his heart beated faster was to try keep up with it all. It seemed absurd, but also so, so unlike him to fight against it. So, whatever. He might just really feel a lot towards his new friend. The friend who currently slept while embracing him under that starry sky that seemed to exist only for them.

Sethos sighed, as if letting the air out into that desert was the sign that he accepted how things were. Then, just slowly, as if fearing they were awake, raised one of his hands until it reached N's head. He caressed their hair with his thumb before trying to look at them.

Soft eyelids, closed. Brown waves cradled by his hand. Their chests connected as if, for a moment, they were all they had. Sethos breathed in.

Friends, huh?

[albireon]

1. Yippee!

2. My personal interpretations of a few of the details in my last post since my friends enjoyed hearing them

3. The background image comes from here. The specific one I used is labelled "Page 7 View – Voice 5 QBASS2"

https://synthroom.com/fairlight-cmi/psb-fairlight-disks/psb-lovequi/

[dogboots]

how do people who were diagnosed with anything even figure out that there was something to diagnose. I truly can't figure out if what I'm experiencing is normal or not

[catamaurrr-star]

i think hsr is a horror game just for this fucking trailer alone

[nomstellations]

i should really break out of my comfort zone and do more stuff w canon characters....

[kindasleepycryptid]

I keep obsessing over the neural oscillation technology the twins used in the street fighting quest,

Like???? so much potential???

The amount of ideas it gives me for fics is INSANE