#hm. not where i thought i'd end up when i started writing this post.

[erstwhilesparrow]

anyway. i've said this before when talking about characters i like and also about atticwife aus but the thing that so often works for me is this bedrock layer of fear. (in a relationship specifically, i think it's important that it goes both ways? one person always being afraid while the other never is like-- well okay i thought about it for a second and this could also work. but less reliably.) a shared secret that both of you would sooner die than let anyone else find out about. the total certainty that you aren't safe anywhere else and you probably aren't even safe with them but it's nice if someone else is here in the dark being afraid with you. awful cramped spaces where neither of you can move except maybe to cling to each other (generally in the metaphorical sense but i can get on board with the literal sense as well). what is a relationship if not another box you consign yourself to dying inside of?

[stottlemorgan]

⊹ ࣪ ˖ Arthur Morgan NSFW Headcanons (Mid Honour) ⟡ ݁₊ .

I wrote these to help with my writing, trying to figure out what Arthur's like, and I really liked these so I thought I'd share 'em! Go wild! Female!Reader btw ⁠♡ This has 18+ smut in it, mdni x Low Honour Version x

⟡ He's actually a bit of a challenge to turn on. He may be a bit touch-starved but he's controlled. He loves a bit of PDA and showing you off, but he isn't one to get hard instantly. He can deal with sultry glances and smirks from you, if anything it makes him chuckle to himself and shake his head.

⟡ In order to get a more pronounced reaction from him, you have to tease your underclothes or brush your ass against his hips as you make your way past him in camp. He's a lot more receptive to physicality. And sound, if you run up behind him, wrap your arms around his midriff, yank him down a bit and whisper in his ear, he's gone.

⟡ He tends to end up smothering you if you're smaller. Sometimes by accident, sometimes not.

⟡ He starts off more reserved but as he grows hotter, his language and sounds start to slip. A "Jesus..." here and a "Shit..." there. He'll start groaning, his nose scrunching, baring his teeth, squeezing his eyes shut. The majority of his sounds are heavy breaths, grunts, groans, the occasional growl. When he comes, he'll sometimes let out stuttering "Oh-"'s that get louder before melting into laboured panting.

⟡ But he'll also murmur silly, cheesy things in your ear through his ragged breaths. "You make me believe in Heaven." "I musta done somethin' right in life to have you fall in my lap."

⟡ He sweats like a pig. Post-orgasm, he's huffing and grabbing his shirt from where he threw it to wipe his face and neck.

⟡ He loves pleasuring his partner, and looooves eating women out. Kissing, sucking, lapping, making you squeal and whimper. He savours your sounds, wanting more and more. He'll keep at it until you're overstimulated and batting at his head, or until he has to come up for air, beard soaked. He'd happily drown in you.

⟡ And when you give him head? He's a little nervous having the focus be on him but once you start, he's sucking in shaky breaths, eyes fluttering shut, jaw slack, in heaven. He'll grab at the air a little, fingers twitching before he paws at your head gently. He'll cradle your face in his palms and moan when your dreamy gaze meets his whilst you lap at the underside of his cock. He'll thrust into your mouth nice and slow, his veins flooding with arousal and his muscles tingling with utter disbelief that he's lucked out so highly with you.

⟡ He's an ass man, but just loves your body in general. He loves gettin' a handful of you; Ass, hips, waist, thighs, breasts, all of you. "You're a first-rate stunner." He'll growl softly, a smirk curling his lips, his thick fingers dipping into your warm flesh, "My girl."

⟡ If he needs you to be quiet during sex, he'll shove his neckerchief in your mouth out of necessity. "Sh, shh, shhh, darlin'. Can't be wakin' up the whole camp with those pretty sounds of yours. Here now, open up."

⟡ If he's sans neckerchief, he lets you bite his shoulders or have you suck on his fingers. "You gotta keep quiet, sweetheart." He'll whisper against your skin as he cups the back of your head and brings your mouth to his shoulder or pushes two thick fingers into your mouth.

⟡ He'll instinctively support you; holding your hips, wrapping his arms around your waist, grabbing your shoulders to stabilise you. He loves being pressed against you, feeling your heart against his chest or back, relishing the connection.

⟡ He's also always checking that you're enjoying yourself, whether it be by asking you outright or watching you for signs of discomfort. "That feel good?" "Y'alright, darlin'?" "Looks like that feels good, hm?" "Yeah? Like that?"

⟡ He gets unsure about leaving marks on you via biting, sucking, spanking, not wanting to hurt you too much or mar your skin. You have to convince him you want it. He feels a bit guilty until he sees how much you enjoy it. And he can't deny the way the sounds you make when he does it strikes lightning through his loins. "You really are a little hellcat, ain'chya?"

⟡ He doesn't mind being marked himself though, not at all, doesn't matter. He's marked all over anyway, what's one more mark? Especially from you.

⟡ He love love loves kisses. All over him, all over you. If you pepper kisses about his face and chest, he'll very quickly flush a gorgeous crimson and look at you, dazed. He'll pull you into his lap and kiss you all over until you're laughing loudly.

⟡ He'll click his tongue at you gently like click click click "Sh, shh, shhh. Easy, girl, easy."

⟡ He'll also tut at you if you're being bratty or feeling overwhelmed. Tut, tut, "Now now, girly. Don't get shrewish with me." or tut, tut, "Oh, sweetheart. I know, I know, c'mon, sweetheart. Keep going, just a little longer."

⟡ He's a soft dom/switch mostly, but if you can get him aroused enough, he relaxes into being a little more dominating.

⟡ He occasionally enjoys being dominated but more so enjoys either a relatively equal sexual dynamic or he naturally falls into a soft dom, caring, cooing role.

⟡ He's not immune to losing himself in the moment, though. He'll breathlessly mutter a "God..." or his breath will hitch like he's been winded before his movements will become rougher, more desperate, like this blissful feeling will slip through his fingers if he doesn't grab you. "C'mere." "Gimme more, girly." "Un-unh, don'chu move now."

⟡ He naturally praises you, not giving it much thought other than wanting you to feel incredible. "That's it, darlin'." "Lookatchu." "Good girl." "Atta girl." "Ain'tchu a picture." "Pretty lady, takin' it all." "That's it, girly, keep on, keep on." "Yeah, more'a'that, baby. Oh, you're so good."

⟡ And when you praise him? Most of the time, he'll duck his head down and wince. "Naw, shut up." "Quit all that." Before trying to divert the focus back onto you by squeezing your ass or rubbing your waist.

⟡ But if he's lost in pleasure? It'll drive him mad. His grip will tighten on you and he'll hiss and huff. He won't respond to the praise verbally but he'll flush red and let out soft "Oh"'s as he holds onto you for dear life.

⟡ If you put his hat on, he will automatically want to have you ride him (But not before barking out a laugh). "Y'think y'can be a cowgirl without ridin', hm?" He'll say before spreading his legs and patting his thighs, "Giddy up, girly." He'll say with a sarcastic lilt, his eyes aflame with excitement.

⟡ If he's particularly tired, you can ride him hard enough to draw a whine from him. His head will fall back, his hands falling from you, his hips jerking into you messily. "Oh, darlin'."

Hope y'all enjoy! I love writing Arthur smut ✗♡✗♡

[moralesmilesanhour]

looking the part

description: a college AU one-shot wherein Ekko watches you get ready for an end-of-semester celebration with some of Piltover's finest. wc: 572 tags: canon divergent-ish, ekko x black!reader a/n: wanted to try my hand at writing for Arcane characters :) the original rough draft was twice as long as what you see here lol

A calm quiet settled over your small single room.

Ekko watched idly as you attempted to wind your braids around your head in a large, elaborate bun. Still barefoot, you were half-dressed in a smart-looking white blouse (complete with a golden brooch that had moving mechanical wings), and a long black skirt that revealed your brown legs through two high slits.

“You look like Medarda,” he commented from his spot on your bed, chin resting in his palm. He had no plans tonight that did not include a long nap, and was appropriately dressed for the occasion in a white tank top and gray sweats.

The bun seemed to remain stable as you slowly removed your hands. You grinned into the dirty dorm room mirror at your triumph.

“That's the idea.”

“You want to look like a topside politician?”

The bun quickly collapsed when you whipped around to face him. He had that ‘be serious’ look on his face, a dark brow lifted in skepticism.

You crossed your arms.

“Ekko, don't start. It's just an end-of-semester party, and I'd like to look the part. That's all it is!”

Ekko put his free hand up in surrender.

“I'm just saying, I don't see the point in spending your whole night schmoozing when you’dve already got Viktor vouching for you.”

The space beside him sank a bit once you joined him on the mattress, and he sat up to accommodate. You stuck out your lips in a pout.

“Says the guy who scored an internship with Heimerdinger.”

Ekko retorted without missing a beat, “And do you see me copying his drip?”

The image of Ekko dressed head-to-toe in Piltie jewelry and double-breasted vests made you giggle.

“Never in a million years.”

“Exactly.”

“But that's not the same thing!” You pushed him by the shoulder, “I just think her hair's cute.”

He reached over to push a stray braid out of your face, the tips of his calloused fingers brushing your cheek as he did so. You watched him watch you, intently.

His clear brown eyes sparkled where the low desk light hit them, the same way they did the day you first met at one of Heimerdinger’s guest lectures. Ekko had raised his hand—the only one to do so—and asked some out-of-left-field questions about whether Hextech was especially vulnerable to ‘bad actors’ under council jurisdiction and whatnot.

Expecting him to struggle to be heard in that giant lecture hall, the ring of his voice cutting through the air, uninhibited and impolite, sent a shock through your system. It also sent the professor on a very long tangent on the dangers of the Arcane when left in the wrong hands, and you could've sworn you heard a snicker or two coming from Ekko’s direction when he had to be interrupted because class time had all but run out.

You stopped him before class ended, and awkwardly asked him if he had really bleached his hair to be that stark white color. He laughed, and invited you to lunch not long after.

“I could do you one better,” he suggested, snapping you out of your thoughts. He made a circular gesture around his head. “How ‘bout a crown?”

“Hm,” you pretended to think, though you were already moving to settle yourself in between his knees. “Do I get to borrow your earrings? Y’know, complete the look.”

A long sigh.

“Alright, but you better not lose ‘em.”

-

Hi! Thank you for making it this far. Pls feel free to reblog and leave feedback in replies/tags, and check out my pinned post if you're curious about me or other stuff I've written :) Have a nice day/night

[twisted-wonderland-shenanigans]

Twisted Wonderland Monster!AU Snippet: "A New Life"

So since the writing process for the pregnant fem!Yuu is taking a little longer than I'd like (I've got so many ideas on types of interactions before and after the baby is born, but as I said in another post, it's tricky figuring out which character to have in said situation 😂), I thought I'd share a snippet of what I have so far so you guys can see!

It might end up being a little (lot) longer than I anticipated depending on how much I want to add, so thank you for your patience everyone!

Note for context: Fem!Yuu is about five (5) months along in the beginning before she arrived in Twisted Wonderland, which means we get to explore the monster boys being curious (if a bit tsun-tsun) about the future baby. Grim is also acting like those pictures and videos of cats who snuggle their pregnant owner's belly, but he doesn't even know why he's doing it and no one else has any idea what's going on either. 😂

ALSO, IF I NEED TO TAG THIS ANY SPECIFIC WAY, PLEASE LET ME KNOW SO I CAN ADD THE TAGS FOR THIS AND WHEN THE FIC IS READY TO BE POSTED!!!!

///----------///

“…hm?” Grim uttered, quickly pulling away to stare at Yuu’s middle with wide eyes.

“What’s wrong?” Jack asked.

Grim said nothing for a moment, his expression focused as he pressed his cheek and ear against her belly again. Just as it had earlier, Yuu felt movement inside—movement that startled Grim as he jumped away with a yelp. “Fygah!? What was that?!” he asked, fur bristling and wings flaring defensively.

“Wait, what happened?” Deuce asked.

“I felt somethin’ move!” Grim told them, looking thoroughly spooked now.

“What?! Does the human have a parasite inside?!” Sebek said, Yuu wincing as the volume caught the attention of the students around them.

“Don’t be silly. Internal parasites can't be felt so clearly outside the body,” Riddle commented, holding his tray of food as he sat down at a nearby table.

Realizing that things would get out of hand if she didn’t stop it, Yuu reached out to pull Grim into her arms and said, “He’s not wrong, guys. Grim did feel something move.”

That seemed to get everyone’s attention as they stared at her in confusion. “He…felt something?” Deuce repeated. “What do you mean?”

“Well…let’s just say that—technically speaking—I wasn’t the only human that came to Twisted Wonderland.”

“EH?!?” came the literal chorus of voices as the teenagers stared at her.

“Wait, you mean there’s another human somewhere?!” Cater asked, his phone already up and ready to start typing. “Where are they? Do humans turn invisible? What’s their name??”

“No, humans don’t turn invisible. As for where they are…you’ll have to guess that. And for their name…well, they don’t have one yet.”

“Eh? How come they don’t have a name?” Epel asked. “And…if there’s another human here, why weren’t they at the ceremony?”

“Oh, they were there,” she told them, unable to help the smile on her face. “In fact, everyone was looking at them the whole time.”

“I didn’t see them at all!” Grim protested, paws reaching up to grip her face. “Tell me where they are!”

“Grim, you’ve probably been the closest one to them for the past month now,” she told him, laughing as she booped his nose. “At this rate, I’ll be having trouble carrying you and them around.”

“Huh? What does that even mean?” he asked, looking at the others as they shrugged.

“Fufufufu…oh my. It would seem my suspicions were correct!” a familiar deep voice behind them said.

“Fygah!! Where’d you come from?!”

Despite the surprise appearance, Yuu’s smile was still as wide as Lilia’s as the lantern bat hung upside down beside her. “My apologies, I couldn’t help but overhear the conversation,” he said before tilting his head to peer at Yuu. “I believe congratulations are in order, my dear. When are you due?”

“In about three and a half months,” she told him, placing her hand on her stomach as the baby moved again.

“Oh! Well, it seems like we’ll all be hearing the pitter-patter of tiny human feet around the school. How lovely~! Is this your first?”

Nodding, she said, “Yeah. I’m a little nervous since there’s been so much going on, and things have been a little…stressful.”

“Ah yes, I can understand that,” he replied, giving the others a sly smile. “After all, I’ve heard that stress isn’t good for expecting mothers and their unborn baby.”

“B-b…b…BABY?!”

“Ah, there it is,” Lilia said with a chortle. “I was wondering how long it would take.”

“I was just thinking of how to give them a bigger hint,” Yuu said with a giggle.

“Wait, wait, wait, wait!” Ace stammered, eyes wide as saucers. “You mean…Yuu is pregnant?!”

“Mm-hm. You hit the nail on the head!”

“EEEEEEEEEEEEH!?!”

[umbracirrus]

Weekend WIP <3

Lots of writing done this week, so thought I'd share a WIP of something I've worked on before Wednesday - the beginning of the fic with my dragonborn Margrethe and Miraak! It's mostly just Margie's arrival at Raven Rock for the first time, but of course that's going to be a downward spiral into feels for the first dragonborn >:3

---------

“Hm…”

Margrethe had to bring her hand up in order to shield her eyes from the ash which was being picked up by the wind as the Northern Maiden approached the docks of Raven Rock. She knew that Solstheim had been affected by the eruption of the Red Mountain many years ago, she just wasn’t expecting to see little more than a dull, barren grey landscape lit up only by the lanterns which adorned the town’s streets. It was too dark to tell if there were any standout landscape features beyond Raven Rock, but she decided that such a feat would be best saved until the daylight hours.

She was all too glad to step off the boat as soon as Gjalund called out that the ship was moored, and made some sort of remark about not being happy to be back. The feeling of solid ground beneath her feet… she wanted to pray to the Divines for that blessing.

As she allowed herself a few moment to ensure that her footing was stable, an elf had been quick to approach Gjalund, and a snappy conversation about goods and costs which she was only really half paying attention to ensued.

A shadow loomed over her in the brief moment in which she had leaned down and held her hands against her knees, so she straightened herself and stared up at the elf. If she had overheard Gjalund properly, she believed that his name was Adril. “And you, outlander. I don’t recognise you…” The Dunmer looked down at her, his brow creasing as he frowned. “This must be your first time to Raven Rock. State your intentions.”

A blunt attitude. Fine, she would be just as blunt back.

“Miraak. Where is he?”

Adril’s eyes narrowed at her, though that was quick to give way to confusion. “I… don’t know who that is.” He was quick to shake off his puzzlement, and start lecturing her about how Solstheim wasn’t Skyrim and that the laws between both lands differed. As he droned on, she folded her arms over and started to scowl. And eventually- “Any questions?”

“Are you certain that you don’t know where Miraak is?”

Adril looked irritated at her repeated question, and she received little more than a prickly “No. I do not,” in response. He was quick to dismiss her presence when he realised that she likely wouldn’t ask anything different, and turned around and made some sort of snappy remark to Gjalund and his men about being careful where they stored the goods that they were offloading.

“Wonderful start… A dead end. Just great.” She pinched at the bridge of her nose as she exhaled through gritted teeth. Afterwards though, she did her best to steady her breathing to calm herself down, brushing away some ash which had landed on her nose. Miraak could be a problem for tomorrow. For now… she needed somewhere to put her feet up. She had spent much of the journey to Raven Rock leaning over the side of the boat and lurching, and even now, her legs still felt uneven.

She quickly went to catch up to Adril, and cleared her throat from behind him. “Actually, another question.” She waited for him to stop and turn to face her. “Is there an inn or anything akin to one in Raven Rock?”

Adril gave her an irritated look. “You would be looking for the Retching Netch Cornerclub, outlander. Can’t miss it. Opposite Glover’s forge and has a guard posted outside.”

Before she could so much as respond to his comment, to ask anything further, he had turned around once more and entered the building he had been stood beside. The sound of a lock turning was the confirmation that she wouldn’t get to know anything more. She let out an irritated huff, and continued along the road. It was one thing giving her directions… but where in Oblivion was this forge? A pointless answer indeed.

“What a warm bloody welcome…”

[desceros]

i don’t think you have to apologize at all for not having a symphony update tbh! it’s very gracious of you to do so but i hope people remember that it’s your passion project first and foremost and not anything any of us readers (regardless of how involved or invested you allow us to be) should feel we have any say over, schedule wise. i love your writing and will always wait for it, and know a lot of your other readers will probably say the same!

(as an aside: something i noted when i first started following you in december was how prolific you were… like the fact i could check your blog every day and there was some food?? i was floored. but even your current posting sched impresses me—the fact that you say you’ll have something out one day and on that day IT IS OUT. idk maybe i am used to my old fandoms being more casual or being interrupted by life, as fandoms with adults tend to be like. so you writing and sharing as much as you do is not something i take for granted. thank you as always.)

(i hope this message reads as appreciative / friendly as i intend it to be hhhh… i’m sorry if not…)

thank you for your kind message! i have a rather long one in return, i do apologize, but it is me, so we should probably have all seen it coming! :D

so, i've kind of talked about it here and there, but i have a wrist that is pretty sensitive to overworking. in high school, i would practice music for hours and hours every day without properly stretching or taking breaks, because no one told me i should do so. as a result, i really wrecked the tendons, and my ulnar nerve in particular has a tendency to flare up. it's quite painful when it hurts, and before it starts properly hurting, i experience i kind of buzzing numbness that is distinctly uncomfortable. it's not severe enough for surgical intervention, but it's definitely a limiting factor in what i'm capable, mechanically, of doing in a day.

back around november/december, i was posting a lot more. but that was with me disregarding my wrist and pushing through the pain, such that for the first couple of weeks in january it was nearly impossible for me to write. this was emotionally agonizing, because i love writing so, so much, and i wanted to share everything in my head with all of you! i felt like i was failing on a precedent i had set for myself, and it's very irritating seeing my mountain of projects getting bigger because i can't write quickly enough to put a dent in it and not just because i was coming up with more ideas (which is, to be clear, still suuuuch a problem haahahhaa).

it got to the point where i started confiding in my partner and my friends about my issue, and they all insisted that i start slowing down. and they're right! i was being reckless with my health, knowingly this time, and they're absolutely correct that i need to take breaks. take days where i don't write. days where i rest, and stretch, and let my wrist heal and recover.

i know it sucks as a reader, i really do, especially if you came on board during that time when i was being super active. and i'm not apologizing, per se, since i'm certainly not going to apologize for prioritizing health over hobby. but i do understand the... hm. i'm going to say frustration, but perhaps i mean the disappointment, or the whiplash maybe, from having someone going from posting very very frequently to less so. i'm still what i'd categorize as an active, prolific writer, but it is infuriating to know that, without this injury, i'd be capable of much more. it annoys me to no end, i swear! but i am purposefully stepping back, for my health, and for the worry of my friends and love ones.

all that said! nothing is on hiatus, nothing is being cancelled, none of that. it's just going to take me longer to work through things than any of us would like, hahahaha. so i really do thank you for your sweet and encouraging message, and i appreciate all of you for every thoughtful wish you send, all of your funny comments on my fics, and your support. i'm actually getting to the happy problem that there are so many that it's not quite feasible for me to respond to all of them individually, but i do read and treasure each one. this is the most uplifting, positive fandom i've ever experienced, and it really does make a difference as a writer knowing that people are filled with joy when i share my art and then go and spin that joy back out into the world.

[indigochromatic]

Ok ok, system experiences: weird forms of amnesia edition

Alright, like the alterhuman folks have all been saying today, lemme try to actually write some of this personal experiences stuff instead of only reblogging posts about how it'd be a great thing to do, lol Bit of rambling about one of the few forms of amnesia/(amnesia-adjacent-thing? idk) that we experience, and don't hear other systems describe as much.

So, as a system, we don't (as far as we know) have a lot of amnesia, especially not amnesia around events or blackouts between switches. We do have different emotions and perspectives about stuff, and different degrees of emotional attachment to different memories and concepts, but most of the time we have access to the same memories, and can tell who's front-POV any individual memory was from when either of us recalls it.

We did get a bit of a reminder today that we do actually experience some form of narrative/episodic amnesia...kind of? We don't hear it talked about a lot, so hey, I'll talk about it, and I'd love to know if anyone reading this recognizes it (either from their own experiences, or if they happen to know some kind of official term for it or something). Essentially, it's like...temporary, stress-induced memory shutdowns? Kind of like how when we're having a really out-of-it day, we can just mentally afk and miss 50%-80% of what someone says when they're trying to have a conversation with us, except it'll extend beyond just immediate short-term recall and make it hard to access practically anything from the whole week/month/etc. A key thing about the experience for us is that it doesn't feel like...a "blackout", and (as far as we've been able to tell from getting better memory access back later) it's not centered around specific extra-upsetting events or anything, it's more like...really, really bad internet connection while trying to search our brain for answers to stuff. "What did we do this past week? idk, it was normal stuff, though. How are we feeling, I know intellectually it was kind of a rough week? idk pretty chill probably :)"

Also, we can kinda start getting recall back if we're prompted about specific details and stuff, but too much trying-to-remember effort (especially in situations where we're being called on to do emotional work, like therapy sessions) can also turn into a headache--like, oh yeah, here's the memory, but if we get more than "a sentence or two into the first paragraph" of recalling it, we'll get a nice little dissociation headache and suddenly something else seems way more interesting to think about.

Anyways, thought that might be a useful experience for other folks to compare notes on? It doesn't feel from the inside like amnesia in the "traditional" sense, really, not only because it's in transient episodes but also because we still have the strong sense that the memories are actually there and that there's no lost time or anything Really Bad that's been redacted. It's also it's pretty overtly obvious that it's protective mechanism due to stress/mental overload, even though it's not deliberate, and not under conscious control. In that way, it feels like a pretty apt comparison to say that it's like we're having a speech shutdown episode, except for about memory instead of talking out loud--we didn't lose the memories, the mental filing cabinet drawer just got stuck; we didn't lose our verbal processing, we just can't get the words to happen out loud right now.

If we had to guess, just from how it feels body-wise, the mechanism is probably similar to what happens in catatonia? Also--forgot to mention this earlier, but if we keep getting pressed about stuff, either externally or from pushing ourselves internally, it'll almost always end up triggering a switch (usually to me, which is exactly what happened earlier today in family therapy, lmao). Do I remember the week better than L does, when that happens? Hm. Kinda? The catatonia-like "mentally underwater" feeling goes away for sure, and it's more like...I can get to the bare minimum content information more easily, (like the bullet points info awareness), without getting lost in the fog about it--but I still don't have really any better recall of the narrative stuff. That's my current theory, idk, could be wrong. Anyone else know what I'm describing? Lmk!

[aprillikesthings]

So I am fascinated by how some fandoms just...spontaneously end up with some tropes repeating over and over in fic (especially explicit fics)

Like, I've never been in a fandom that had many coffee shop au's, but I know there are fandoms where they're super popular. There are fandoms with absolutely massive amounts of omegaverse and fandoms with like, none.

And sometimes it's obvious why a particular fandom ends up with a popular fic tropes: Steven Universe fandom has a lot of high-school au's. She-Ra has a lot of university au's. (These are probably the same authors at least some of the time!)

But sometimes it's a complete fucking mystery to me???

And a thought/question about explicit catradora fics under the readmore:

With the obvious disclaimer that I have not read a double-digit percentage of the explicit catradora fics on ao3 (seriously there's 1,668 of them as of right now), I have read uhhh maybe a dozen or two dozen of them?

And I'm dying to know: why is tribbing (i.e. rubbing your vulva on someone's body; sometimes the other person's vulva but in this fandom usually their thigh) so INSANELY COMMON in catradora fics?

I say this knowing that before I even read fics in this fandom, I'd already written my own tribbing scene into my current WIP! So like, I'm including myself here. I didn't even know it was such a huge thing when I wrote it. Like, I think it was the first sex scene I wrote for that fic. So it wasn't just from seeing it in other fics, which would be the obvious reason.

So imagine my surprise and amusement when I started inhaling fics and "rubbing off on each other's thighs" is INCREDIBLY common in catradora fics, whether they're pre-canon or mid-canon or post-canon or non-fantasy au or those au's where they're on modern Earth but all the partially-animal characters are still partially-animal, so like, Catra works an office job but still has cat ears and a tail (I admit I love these)

So now I'm sitting here going: why is that the sex act so many of us write???? Like we might also write oral and fingering and whatever else, don't get me wrong.

If it was just canon-ish fics I could sort of see it: I could imagine a situation where all of us are looking at Catra's claws and possibly-rough tongue and going uhhhhhhh...hm. But...everyone manages to get around that! We decide that Catra can retract her claws. Either her tongue is closer to a human's or Adora's into it lol.

I've had some theories.

My first thought was that rather than "take turns" they can kiss and face each other the whole time? And we really want that for them? (But...there are other sex acts where you can do that.)

But maybe also it's the kind of thing that is the obvious next step when frantically making out (as one might when you finally get to kiss/fuck the person you've loved and wanted most while also actively tried to hurt for the last multiple years...don't mind me just having. feelings. again. ;_;) and not wanting to separate for even a second???

I mean I say this knowing a couple of weeks ago I posted about how the first time I made out with another girl, when I was 17, she shoved her knee into my crotch and I nearly came even though we were both fully dressed lol

So are we all basing it on our own first times with another girl? Because I know that's why I wrote it.

Anyway, likely nobody will see this post lol, BUT, if you read or write she-ra/spop fics lemme know if you've noticed this (like seriously is it just the fics I personally happen to have read?) and if you have theories

Because this is not my first f/f pairing or fandom for which I have read and/or written a ton of fics (lol), but this is the first one where like, nearly every explicit fic has had "rub it out on each other's thighs while making out, either dressed or naked" in it lol

[sroloc--elbisivni]

questions for ao3 writers

tagged by @secretlystephaniebrown and @radishhqueen! thanks!

i will tag @bobtheacorn @kithnkin @spectralsleuth @decepti-thots @desdemonafictional, and if you see this and want to please consider yourself tagged!

1. how many works do you have on ao3? 108!

2. what's your total ao3 word count? 895,129. (I started the year with vague hopes of hitting a million words--we'll see where I end up after finishing current major non-fic project.)

3. what fandoms do you write for? right now, I've got active WIP docs open for rottmnt, transformers, usagi yojimbo, and one piece.

4. top 5 fics by kudos? Deaged Batgirls, tried to raise you right, Universe Collision, words that it was forming, and Intelligence, or vision, or the truth.

5. do you respond to comments? I try to! Especially if I have something to say more than just 'thanks.' I love talking about my fics.

6. fic you wrote with the angstiest ending: Any way you go you lose, which was specifically written as a bad ending for a different fic.

7. fic you wrote with the happiest ending: Mmh. I write a lot of happy endings, but I think the most uncomplicated/least bittersweet one is probably Heart's still beating, guess I'm pretty lucky.

8. do you get hate on fics? almost never, fortunately!

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind? yes, trending towards kinky.

10. do you write crossovers? sometimes! arguably all the turtles/UY fic I've written is a crossover, though I don't think of them that way because it's usually about blending the canons rather than crashing them into each other.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen? not to my knowledge

12. have you ever had a fic translated? I've had requests, but nothing completed!

13. have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes! A few different ways--written bouncing back and forth, trading off scenes, each person taking one half of a story, each person taking a scene that fits in a larger narrative. it can be really fun.

14. all-time favorite ship? ooooooooough um. hm. hard to say. i've got the most words written for leo/usagi, so i'll go with that even though drifting out of turtles fandom has kind of taken a hard turn into absolute disinterest for me.

15. what's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? hahaha uh. let's say The Days That Follow, which was part of what i consider my first 'real' major fic project, for Young Justice. maybe if i ever get around to watching the post s2 stuff i'll come back to it.

16. writing strengths: I'm good at worldbuilding and I'd like to think that extends to detail and description/immersion in general

17. writing weaknesses: i basically never edit on a macro level and i think i tend towards glibness in a way that leaves holes behind the main action.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? i used to, and stick the translations in the end notes! and now i probably wouldn't--I'd either indicate the language via dialogue or have the narrator say they don't understand. my priority has become making sure the reader understands.

19. first fandom you wrote for: there's a very old percy jackson oc fic somewhere in the depths of my hard drive from when i was like. 12.

20. favorite fic of yours: i recently reread 'Fathomless' and I'm still so fucking happy with it.

[maythedreadwolftakeyou]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Spread the self-love ❤️

<3 Ooohhh ok hm... honestly i do not post much fic (checked AO3 and only 18), for the amount that i start writing and then leave in various stages of completion in drafts on my computer, oops. Unfortunately at least 1 favorite is in that category, but here we go!

Fallout from the Fade (Dragon Age: Inquisition): Hawke is left in the fade during the events of DAI's Here Lies The Abyss, but manages to fight her way back out. However she's left to recover from the severe side effects and trauma that come along. Ok my confession here is while i have not updated this fic since 2020, i have in fact written more of it. But since i kept going so long (months... and then years...) between chapters I decided it'd be better if i just finish writing the rest myself (at least roughly) so i know how much more there is to go and can update it on a more regular schedule in the future when i start posting again. Alas i am very slow at this bc of grad school and also bc i get distracted easily and... have less motivation to work on it when not actually getting feedback as i go. So i may change my mind about this approach eventually but it's where the fic stands now.

Like Teeth Against His Heart (Dragon Age: Inquisition): After Solas wakes up from uthenera, he has many conversations with a variety of spirits over the course of DAI. Sometimes they tell him what he wants to hear, and sometimes they don't. I typically like the recent things I've written the most and this is that. It's a prose-poem style that plays with formatting, aka its kind of Weird, and weird is my favorite. I wrote it for a charity zine which also meant i had to have a Final Version rather than endlessly tweak it forever which was irritating at the time but also good for me.

Unposted, No-Finalized-Title fic, with the file jokingly named 'Sam I Am' (Mass Effect: Andromeda): pre-Andromeda and game timeline but from the perspective of your ship's AI, who also lives inside your character's brain, and in the game admits to altering your brain/body, and hello??? the game did NOT let me respond to that to the degree I desired? One of my literary obsessions is the combination of AI (the sci fi kind not... generative art etc) plus human augmentation... what that does to both parties sense of self, their relationships, how they view and function in the world, etc. In the vein of Silently And Very Fast by Cat Valente, Imperial Radch by Ann Lecke, Murderbot by Martha Wells... and I spent soooo much time wishing Andromeda had gone deeper into that angle/thinking about it myself I wrote. Quite a long fic about it. But i only played the game once and there wasn't much fan love/fanworks for it so I never posted it or any other Andromeda stuff I wrote, it was more just for myself. I'd like to go back and finish this fic but I estimate it'd be in the 40-70k word range and i'd need to replay the game to refresh my memory so it's like, a project for when i have a bunch of free time at some point in the future, since it's mostly just for Me.

the people you love become ghosts inside of you, and like this, you keep them alive (Mass Effect trilogy): Snippets of a variety of Garrus' thoughts and memories of Shepard, and a growing realization about the nature of love like theirs. I don't expect anyone to love this one but me, because it's just a self-indulgent thing I wrote specifically to figure out the flavor of grief involved in the relationship between my personal Shepard and Garrus. It's not as poem-formatted as my Solavellan one but the prose leans hard in that direction, and they came from the same place for me. I wrote it after finishing the trilogy because I (unlike a lot of fans, i know) felt very adamant that the correct ending for my Shepard is that she is dead now, and not coming back, and needed to cry some more about that.

like the leaves after a long winter (Dragon Age II): It's the first Christmas/Satinalia since Leandra's death, and Hawke is not in the mood for festivities -- until she realizes that everyone else will be spending it alone and finds herself hosting a party without even meaning to. I'll be honest #5 spot was kind of a toss up between this one, Less A Man Than A Wild Cat, and Grief. But I've decided on this one because 1. it covers my favorite thing to write about aka grief, but is actually written as a story/proper narrative unlike others i've already put on this list. With fanfic the most important thing to me before anything else is self-indulgence. While I love writing for prompts (like this one was!), my specific joy in that is taking an idea from someone else and figuring out how to cram all the things I care about into someone else's plot summary. Fanfic for me is like... it feels weird to call it 'writing exercises' because that implies i don't care about the final project when i very much do. Writing challenges? Maybe? Idk i just really enjoy having limitations to work within. Having NO boundaries is where I do my original content writing, so writing within the bounds of an existing franchise already means there's some limits (like keeping to characterizations, plot, etc) and then adding more on top makes it a fun experience and keeps me engaged.

While these are my top 5, I definitely don't think most of them are what other people would pick as a favorite from my (admittedly very limited) amount of posted writing, Fallout from the Fade being the exception. I think my friends probably like the one where I turned Fenris into a cat best (and that was VERY fun it's just also more lighthearted which i struggle to write sooooo bad), and then every one else is in my inbox about the single Solas x F!Travelyan fic I wrote largely as an experiment in writing sex scenes. sorry to everyone who read that and then tried to read my other fics and discovered its mostly blood and loss and Yearning...

[ehlnofay]

1, 10, 17 for pax and efri :)

1. What was the original thought that led to the creation of this character? with efri there were a couple of things... I remember years ago seeing some cool art of a kid chilling with a big cat companion and I thought huh that would be a funny character to write. stowed that away. then later I watched some mod playthrough on youtube that let you play as a kid living in rorikstead and I said Hm. stowed that away. not sure when it all came together though... I think I had the idea of kazari's character, efri being onmund's sister, and following him to winterhold after the rorikstead dragon is woken all occur to me pretty simultaneously and that's when I started writing her with pax it was way simpler. I'd been casually planning on playing oblivion for a while but wanted to wait until I had some kind of base character concept. then one day I thought "huh it's funny how so many of my characters are in some fashion extremely difficult to talk to (arabella is trying to fuck with you, the dragonborn is. the dragonborn, and so forth) but I don't have any characters who are just straight up abrasive and difficult and not nice" and then I was so overpowered by the need to conjure this person into being that i bought oblivion immediately

10. What is their main character arc in the story? Where do they start and how do they develop? Do they get a happy ending or is their story a tragic one? well. efri's story is still under construction at an absolutely glacial pace so I DON'T REALLY KNOW... I don't know. it remains to be seen. I'd feel really bad if I gave efri a sad ending though and I think she'd crawl out of my computer to whack me with a stick about it so I have high hopes pax is is a hero of kvatch... enough said, I think. she's a lonely angry kid who finds purpose and worth in the middle of an apocalypse and then has all of it taken away. and she never comes back from that. though for what it's worth they don't see their ending as a sad one... I personally do not endorse complete destruction of the self-concept and being subsumed into a larger stranger being as a positive method of dealing with grief but sheogorath née pax has no regrets

17. Are there any motifs or symbols associated with the character? How are they represented, in their design, personality or in some other way? interesting... something that I've noticed with efri that popped up without my conscious intention at first is light, usually magical, as representative of knowledge/curiosity/freedom. idk if anything I've posted mentions it but one of her earliest memories is onmund conjuring a magelight for her to try to get her to stop fussing. after she gets to the college he gives her enchanted gloves so she can make her own. there's something to that I think... I'd like to do more stuff with that idea the only thing that really concretely comes to mind with pax is the colour red. he Does Not Like It and it's generally used pretty deliberately in his story... it's emblematic of the mythic dawn, of blood and the violence that he's still not truly comfortable with, and, naturally, the empire. in general pax has big reactions to things that aren't as much symbols in his narrative as symbols to him, if that makes sense. they can't look their grief in the face so they ascribe it to red and gold and statues and the sun. I can't think of many other oft-used symbols or motifs... bit of a blunder on my part since there's definitely the potential there. like the good old dog motif for example... unyielding devotion and propensity to bite... it's all there. can't believe I missed it

[perverse-idyll]

Writing patterns

Rules: List the first line of your last 10 (posted) fics and see if there's a pattern! Tagged by @yletylyf - thank you! Most of these are itty bitty fics and out-takes, but here we go.

1. The headmaster of Hogwarts, as yet unaware he had entered upon his last day on earth, raised his thin hand to stroke the unsmiling face of the woman who had afforded him so much unlooked-for happiness. [Year of the Thestral, HP, Minerva McGonagall/Severus Snape. An excerpt from a quasi-romance novel written about them after their deaths, a fact the reader won't understand until the end of the fic.]

2. Sometimes all Severus had to do was turn thirty-plus years of repressed hunger upon him, and Harry would start shaking. [Snake Charmer, HP, Snape/Harry. Out-take. A line signaling the co-dependent and sexual nature of the relationship.]

3. When Harry made his way out to the reception desk, there was barely a trace of almond left on his skin. [Coda to "Soft Touch," HP, Snape/Harry. Afterthought to a pre-existing fic. If I'd thought about it, I might have punched up the opening line by combining it with the last sentence in the paragraph, making it both clearer and funnier to readers who hadn't read the main fic: "When Harry made his way out to the reception desk, he didn't look like a man who'd just let Severus Snape bite his arse." Oh well. Missed opportunity!]

4. At around four in the afternoon, with three chapters to go in the espionage novel she was reading – since popular thrillers provided not only diversion but an eye-opening refresher course on Muggle slang and cultural attitudes – Minerva glanced up from the page to find Wil leaning in the doorway, watching her. [Candles Lit Against the Dark, HP, Minerva McGonagall/Wilhelmina Grubbly-Plank but heavily featuring Snape. Scene- and relationship-setting, basically.]

5. It was possible none of this would have happened if not for Hermione. [The Afterlight, HP, Snape/Harry. A simple declarative sentence appears! Mildly mysterious, but since we as fans know this is a ship fic, the mostly likely suspect for the category of "this" is a relationship Harry's friends consider a mistake.]

6. Severus persisted in accompanying Harry to public events, in part because the wizarding world still needed it shoved down their throats that he and Harry were a couple. [Social Lubricant, HP, Snape/Harry. The premise in a nutshell. The rest of the ficlet just embellishes it.]

7. "You need to choose wisely when to be a dick, Potter." [Bad Manners, HP, Snape/Harry. Teensy fic. Sets the mood. Makes it clear who's speaking.]

8. Into the lives of all upstanding citizens, an occasion must fall where we fumble the biscuit and end up owing an undeniable debt to mankind. [Jeeves and the Secret Society, crossover between HP and Jeeves & Wooster, Jeeves/Wooster, Snape/Dumbledore. Establishes a different narrative voice from my usual, hints but doesn't confirm a first-person POV - although fans of Bertie Wooster will probably guess.]

9. Radiant in the wasteland of a European battlefield, the vessel of Clara's memory shrugs. [Truce, Doctor Who, Clara/Twelve-ish. Drabble. Scene-setting, suggests this isn't literally Clara but a (precious) memory.]

10. For one of her first acts as headmistress, Minerva shatters the Mirror of Erised. [Spirituous, HP, Minerva, Albus, Severus. Drabble. Establishes a postwar timeline and implies Minerva's state of mind.]

Patterns? Hm. Well, anyone who's read anything of mine, even the drabbles, can already guess I'm fiercely wedded to compound sentences and fond of opening with dependent clauses. I also default to narrative prose over dialogue. And most of these first lines have some degree of hook to them, whether I planned it or not. Otherwise, um ... I think you need more to go on if you want to analyze the more interesting kinds of authorial habits and themes.

Does anyone else want to play? Tagging @danpuff-ao3, @ripeteeth, @saintsenara, @squibstress - and anyone else, because I have to be good now and go back to work!

[galaxythreads]

Would you ever write a time loop story? (This isn’t a request! Just wondering if you’re into that type of story)

Maybe. I don't know. I've read a lot of time loop stories, but I've never found one that I wanted to reread. I've always felt like the stories start to feel all like they have the same plot and you're just rereading the same thing happening over and over again (like. unintentionally on the author's part.) It's hard to develop any real meaningful character development when no one else grows with MC stuck in the loop. Maybe I just haven't read the right one. I like well-thought-out time loop and time travel stories, especially ones that use the medium to its fullest potential. but. Idk.

If I did do it, I'd have to think about a way to twist the trope in a way that made it more interesting for me personally. I've always loved the idea of writing a post Endgame fic where Thor goes back in time to fix everything that went wrong and then ends up making it 4000x worse. Hm. I don't know. You've got me thinking about a time loop story now, lol.

[loverboy-havocboy]

I hope it's okay to ask, but how did you go about designing/choosing the tattoos for Boost, Sinker and Comet for Aliit?

of course it is, i love talking about my boys!! thank you for asking!! for those who are curious, you can take a look at their tattoos here and an explanation post where i talk about some meanings here

the disclaimer here is that the only ones i designed were comet's top surgery tattoo, the honeycomb testosterone, the phoenix (which was still edited from a design i found), the darasuums, and sinker's sun and moon moths (which are frankensteined from designs i found). all the others were things i found on pinterest, and they're collected in a board here

the rest is going under a cut to save everyone's dash 😅

the matching sun, moon, and stars on their wrists were written in before i had a picture of them in my mind. that little dynamic (that could be it's own post probably lol) for sinker, boost, and comet respectively carried over from the sick au.

the second was comet's phoenix, and i love talking about this tattoo 😂 idk if you've read aliit or not anon, so i'll preface by saying that it covers up a tattoo comet got for his abusive ex, and he got it in the fic "out of the ashes". i cycled through several coverup ideas, and by this point i was working on designs, so i was thinking about what would reasonably cover it, what comet would like, and what boost might choose for him. i was getting kind of fed up 😅 when i came across a throwaway line i'd written about rising from the ashes of that relationship. i thought "oh hm like a phoenix" and then just 💡🤯 because @brokenphoenix99 had been commenting on my stuff since i started writing and i never would've made it to writing aliit without that. so stumbling upon the phoenix idea became a way to honor her place in aliit's creation 🥺💖😭

once i started working on the designs, there were a few more that i knew i wanted them to have, like boost and sinker's "darasuum" over their hearts in each other's handwriting, gregor's tally marks, and comet's trans symbol on his stomach. so those were easy.

there were others that i knew they would have because of who they are and what important to them, but only had a vague idea of design wise. most of them have to do with the theme and title of the series, now that i think about it - family. comet and thorn's matching one (honeycomb testosterone), because their relationship played a big part in shaping who comet is and it's very important to him. gregor's matching one with foxtrot, because they're his family. boost's in memory of his parents who passed (lighter and flowers) and his sun and moon for him and sinker. i knew sinker would have at least one celestial tattoo for the pack, and he ended up with several, but the snake is a combination of that and the fact that i knew i wanted him to have a snake. he just seems like a snake guy to me.

the rest were chosen painstakingly through hours of scrolling through tattoos 😂 gregor was easy, but i knew each of the pack would have at least a dozen, since boost's been tattooing them since they were in high school. i'm not sure i'm completely happy with what i chose, but the tattoos were the only thing holding up a 7 months long project, so to be honest i was slapping them on at the end

thanks again for asking <3

[bereft-of-frogs]

@aurorawest tagged me in 20 questions and I am doing them expediently to make up for all the other tag memes I've forgotten about (sorry)

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 91

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 807,565

3. What fandoms do you write for? Right now pretty exclusively Star Wars, but I had a solid MCU phase there, and have dabbled in Six of Crows, this show Into the Night (tiniest fandom I've ever written for, I think I make up about half of the fics in the tag even now), and I wrote exactly 3 Locked Tomb fics one time.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? 1. pain and other human sensations 2. bone and broth 3. like a tear on a cheek 4. never never quite touch anything 5. the undoing

(I'm starting to feel weird about those five because I...don't really think they represent my best work anymore but I also know due to a combination of luck and good timing (and unhinged persistence in one case), nothing else I write will ever touch them so...there they remain at the top perpetually...)

5. Do you respond to comments? I do! I try at least, during lulls in posting I'm usually not checking as much, and my current policy for the MCU fics is not to respond unless I feel like there's something productive to say.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I think it's a tie but one of them probably doesn't count. 1) apocalyptic appellations, also discussed below, basically ends with the darkest ending for one set of characters and 2) this one probably doesn't count because this isn't the last chronological scene, the narrative ends happily BUT because I chose to literal roll the dice and write the scenes out of order 'I feel like I'm borrowing all my time' ends on the angiest scene, which ironically got me stuck in a time loop because I'd get to the end in editing and be like 'hm. I'm sad now. Back to 1 to make myself feel better!'

Oh, also my first high republic fic - banishing the chill - ended PRETTY angsty if I do say so myself.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? This was really hard to pick because I feel like my MO is either to gently nudge characters back onto their canon plot, where terrible things happen, or leave them with even more trauma. Idk, I guess the dark ocean duology ended fairly well? There was a hug?? It only took like 40k to get there????? That counts maybe?????

8. Do you get hate on fics? Occasionally haha, I think I got a couple of the '#problematic' comments on old smut but it was more likely to be character hate mingled with hate comments? Which can be annoying like even with controversial characters I'm usually writing because I find something compelling about them, so it can be frustrating when people either flatten them down to 'they're the worst' or get mad at me for giving them motives other than 'cackling evil'.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Used to, sort of lost the ability to...

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? Once. apocalyptic appellations. And it is pretty crazy. God, I love this crossover. I didn't write a lot in 2022, but I really like what I did write. Almost certainly my final MCU fic, it really felt like I went out on a bang. Loki series crossed over with the tiniest fandom I've ever participated in, for the television show Into the Night. Into the Night is about an apocalypse where the sun is killing people (#sun's fucked up cinematic universe) and a small group of survivors circling the globe on an airliner. One of the main characters is a helicopter pilot named Sylvie, whom I LOVE, and for months after the Loki series premiered I'd do a bit of a double take on any sufficiently vague posts about that-other-Sylvie. But then I thought it would be kind of interesting if her name was perhaps just another thing she acquired from one of the many apocalypses she lived in...

For real, I really do love this crossover, and I'm glad it was my last MCU fic.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I'm aware of, lmk tho I guess!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Also not that I'm aware of!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? In a past life...yes. But that was a long time ago.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship? I feel like...I don't really 'ship'. Idk, I have the occasional ship I'm into for a brief moment, but I'm really a Gen person so ships don't really stick with me, I can't really name an 'all-time favorite' because it feels so dependent on mood/story...

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I did leave one series dangling in the MCU that I will never go back to finish and I do feel bad about that. Sryy...

16. What are your writing strengths? I feel like I get a lot of positive comments about tension building?

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I think I get too caught up in dialogue that I forget to describe what people are doing. Also repetition.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Eh, I probably wouldn't honestly, just keep it as like, narration. I'm not Tolstoy. My French is probably not good enough to write dialogue, I definitely don't speak any other languages well enough, and I don't personally thinks it adds to what I specifically write.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Ever, it was for something I don't want to admit to in the 90s, incoherent scribbles in a diary. Previous posting life was [redacted for teenage embarrassment]. Oldest fic on current account....is a crossover. I swear, I really don't usually write crossovers, but it was a kind of weird American Gods/Supernatural crossover. (I also NEVER wrote Supernatural fanfic, that was not the redacted one above, but I have always wanted to write this ONE Supernatural fic that's basically just about Dean learning to accept the inevitability of death through an exploration of death gods/afterlives. There are going to be footnotes. It will be so obnoxious but I WILL finish it some day.)

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? I couldn't pick just one but I have a lot of love/often reread: spare me over (also proof/comfort that I've often had an inverse relationship between *my* personal faves and what gets the most kudos/comments, this is one of my lower kudos'd MCU fics, but it's one of my favorites), dark underground // violent sky (I'm real proud of that twist), apocalyptic appellations (and I'll KEEP talking about it--), I feel like I'm borrowing all my time (my one and only time travel fic), always proud of longer things that are plot-heavy (dark ocean duology, alone amidst the ruins, the current fic I'm posting: the station)

I'm too awkward to tag others because even though I LOVE being tagged I'm convinced I'm bothering people, but as usual: open tag! you want to answer 20 questions, please answer 20 questions!

[deathofherreputation]

Got a lot of writing done today, so I thought I'd post a preview of a multi-chapter fic I've been working on! This one has been a HUGE undertaking; it's probably the biggest story I've worked on before, as well as my first attempt at a mystery. It's a steampunk-ish/noir Feysand AU where Feyre's family gets kidnapped by some shady faeries, and enlists the help of Rhysand (a detective who's been shirking his political duties back home) to help find them.

Look for chapter one of City of Strangers on AO3 very soon! (Not going to give an exact date because I don't want to put pressure on myself lmfaooo but I'm almost done editing!!)

Here's a little scene from chapter one that I had a lot of fun writing, between Rhys and Mor!

“Don’t you ever get tired of all that reading?”

Before Rhysand could respond, a golden hand — with fingernails that gleamed wine-red in the low light of his office — shot out and smacked the top of the precarious stack of books and papers atop his desk.

With the sort of world-weary sigh that could only hint at how many times such an exchange had passed between them, Rhys’ gaze traveled from the hand all the way up the length of arm attached to it, until at last his eyes met those of his cousin’s. And Morrigan, he noted with no small degree of exasperation, looked none too pleased with him this evening.

That is, she rarely looked pleased with him at all, but today the expression on her face happened to feel particularly threatening.

“Dearest Mor,” Rhys said, a smirk touching the corners of his mouth. “What, dare I ask, has put you in such a charming mood this evening — and to what do I owe the honor of being its recipient?”

“They’re asking about you again,” was her flat response. She crossed her arms. “Wondering when you’ll bring an end to these . . . charades of justice, I believe Keir called it.” Even she couldn’t help the soft snort of laughter that punctuated her sentence.

“Hm. I never took your father to be the poetic type.”

“It’s easy for you to be so flippant,” Mor said, lifting a hand to massage her temples. “It’s me they run to when you’ve done something to upset them like this. All of them squawking like hens about the ruination you’re bringing down upon the family and so on.” She sighed. Shook out her mane of blonde hair as if it could clear the unpleasant day from her memory. “You might at least consider giving them some idea of when you’ll be back.”

“I told them I’ll return as soon as I feel my work is done here,” said Rhys. “That’s not enough of an idea for them?”

“That was six months ago, Rhys.”

“So Keir has learned to count! How delightful. I suppose we’ll have to get him started on spelling soon enough.”

Mor rolled her eyes, but he caught the twinkle of amusement on her face. Something in his chest twisted guiltily at the sight of it; she did have a point, about it being far easier for him to treat matters involving their noble family with such lightness. She was the one who’d been enduring those insufferable people for the past six months while he’d been here, chasing this vision of his. This endeavor that so many had — perhaps rightfully, in some ways — called foolish. The least he could do would be to make these dealings with her father as painless for her as possible.

But when he thought of the path that had brought him here in the first place . . . when he thought of the future his family — his people — might not even be afforded if he should fail in this . . . he couldn’t simply turn his back on it. He’d never been a man who abandoned the things he started, and more often than not it seemed to work to his detriment. But this time . . . this time, he was determined for things to be different.

Perhaps it made him selfish. Perhaps it made him a monster. But he’d become whatever he needed to be in order to see this through to the end.

“I can’t give up,” he admitted at last, the words leaving him in barely a whisper. “You know I can’t, Mor. Not yet. Not when I’ve gotten so close.”

Her expression softened; turned into something that, for a moment, felt uncomfortably close to pity. Rhys wasn’t sure whether or not he hated that more than he would have if she’d simply gotten angry with him again. He’d rather have fury than be looked at like that. Like . . . like on some level, yet again, he’d failed his cousin. He’d failed to be what everyone needed him to be at all times.

“You could be wrong, you know,” she said at last — speaking softly, slowly, as if comforting an irrational child. “About all this. There’s a chance that you might never find what you’re looking for. What if it’s all for nothing?”

“It’s not,” was all he could say, even as he hated the lack of logic in it. “I know it’s not.”