#hm. i am reading this post. and i fear you can tell im Not Well today from its contents | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

wisteria-lodge · 2 years ago

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bird primary + snake secondary (bird model)

hi! apologies if this is all over the place, im going a little crazy. so, i am going absolutely crazy trying to figure out my primary and secondary. i used to think i was a snake bird (modeling badger snake), but then i started thinking about it and went “hm. maybe im actually a double snake?” and now im thinking i might be a lion snake or . something. i have absolutely no idea. i do know ive either exploded or burnt both primary and secondary at some point though.

So some Exploding or Burning, probably an Internal primary (Snake or Lion) with an I Move secondary (Bird or Snake.) Let’s see what we have.

so, ive always thought i must be a snake primary because i’m very people-oriented (and i regard people with a certain type of possessiveness), but thats mostly because like… i have an intrinsic fear of being alone thanks to lgbt things (im aromantic - so the internalized arophobia and fear of dying alone is REAL big, esp considering my ex was just straight-up an arophobe) and mental illness issues (i have autism and ptsd that both mesh together to create my being incredibly anxious when around new people/situations - which doesnt lend itself well to interacting with others, so when i do latch onto someone, i latch on HARD).

Just breathe. It’s okay. But yeah, that’s survival mode human stuff. We do have Burnt secondary language “not good at dealing with new people/situations” etch. And you *did* apologize to me first thing, which is my favorite litmus test for whether a secondary is burnt or not.

i would not feel bad dropping each and every person in my life for literally zero reason other than i didnt like their vibes. in fact, i really wish i felt comfortable enough to do that!

Cool. That’s kinda badass. Make me think Idealist primary... and probably Lion, who are classically the most comfortable being loners.

im so tired all the time, and being the resident mom friend doesnt help that at all.

ooooh we’ve got a burnt secondary, compensating Badger secondary model. (Or possibly just badger secondary.)

ive honestly started getting a bit resentful of my friends bc i feel like theyre making me take care of them (though i know they arent).

That’s a common problem with Badger secondary people who aren’t *really* protective of their boundaries.

so… i guess it would be helpful to explain my morals and motivations, huh?? to be blunt, i really dont know what they currently are. ive started pulling away from relying on other people. which is really healthy for me i think. i used to rely on my ex in particular to handle all of my morals (with them convincing me i was actually evil in the process - they were abusive) and im really glad that im healing enough to stop outsourcing at least that, but im still trying to build up… something to rely on.

You’re the second SortMe post in a row that to use the specific phrase “outsourcing my morals,” but I don’t think I’m going to sort you the same way, and I’ll tell you why.

Mainly what I am doing here is making what I consider to be statistically likely guesses. I’ve read a lot of these, and it’s enough to start seeing patterns. And I can tell you that “gaslighting ex” is MUCH more of Burnt Bird primary story, than a Burnt Lion primary story. Put that together with “I’m trying to build up... something to rely on”... and I’d be very surprised if you weren’t a Bird, friend.

i really dont ever feel quite secure. especially not enough to actually express myself as myself. hopping from relationship to relationship has been my stand-in for support up to now, but relationships are just … augh. i dont like them. ive always also felt a drive to protect and care for people (and animals! i wanted to do wildlife rehab growing up, and on the people side ive been interested in anthropology) in need

Sounds like a pretty good start to building a system.

which sounds very badgery on paper, but honestly i cant relate to badgers really at all. something about it just doesnt really fit me, i guess? i cant relate to the community aspect of it. like yes, every person is a person, but also like. thats not whats important to me. i want to do good things, and be good, or at least better than i was before, and yes that involves taking care of those in need (to me at least), but its not… like how badgers are typically described. i dont even have anything against badgers, i really like them, but im just. not that.

You’re not a Badger. You like some of the values, but your life is not built out of communities, and you seem to like it that way.

i have also almost never forgiven anyone in my life. the few times i have ended up being mistakes, so never again.

There was another Bird primary post that made the important distinction that there’s forgiving someone... and then there’s letting them back in to do the same thing again.

on the snake side, i feel like i might have used to rank people according to how important they are to me, but i think that was more of a learned thing than anything else. i really admire snakes, and i want to be one, but i feel more like im just . not being genuine when i think of myself as one, even though thats what i get each time i take the official shc test (which i have recently taken the 2.0 one) and what ive considered myself to be for years now. its stopped fully fitting (unless im somehow gaslighting myself here) and i really dont know what to do about that.

You also weren’t in a very healthy place recently, and it’s a lot harder to get a read on yourself when you’re not doing okay. (Not impossible, just... harder.)

like, ill live, its really not that big of a deal, but i still have emotions and its still difficult. i dont like being wrong.

That’s also sounding pretty Bird to me. Both “I don’t like being wrong” and the “my emotions are difficult.” If you were a Lion, those emotions would be your compass, but Birds don’t work that way.

on the how i do things side - i tend to react very aggressively when what/who i care about gets fucked over, and see no problem with being vicious or lying, acting, whatever i need to do to get my point across. i dont view it as bad. whatever works, works yknow?

Okay, so you’re probably a Snake or a Bird secondary (which you knew.) And I do see where that Snake primary false positive is coming from. You have some Snake values in your system for sure, but you don’t sound like a Snake when you talk.

i do like planning at least an outline before things, but im also perfectly content throwing it out the window. though i do enjoy collecting little bits of info i can use later! and learning! and using what i learn! but its very much a “oooohhh this is fun!!!” type thing.

So that’s at least a fun Bird model (and it seems like every single neurodivergent person has a Bird model, so that’s not all that surprising.)

i am not a hard worker. at all. i HATE doing things the badger sec way. it sucks and i hate it and i just want to get things done with immediately right now.

Hmm. Now that sounds very In-the-Moment, doesn’t it? I’m starting to lean Snake.

one thing i very clearly remember from childhood is that once, in middle school, i hung out with a group of mostly boys and we were like. the loner weirdo kids. and one guy smacked me across the face for whatever reason and i immediately went “if you do that again, i will kick you directly in the crotch,” and then he went “i like you!” and we were. ig friends? from then on. Guys.. idk

Guys are known to socialize like that sometimes.

i didnt really have that much of an opinion on him that i can remember. i thought i was a bird for a while because of the aforementioned “oh learning fun!” thing and my reliance on at least a light plan, but then i thought about what i do under pressure. and i realized that i go fully improv, and that i feel better doing that than planning.

Yeah, I bet it does.

because planning also sucks and i dont really like it. ive tried using planners before and its…. so hard to keep up with….. now, my mom is a lion sec and i dont understand her AT ALL. like yeah, i can imitate her and also push through things directly, but my god is it uncomfy. id prefer to poke around and get a handle on things first, so i can have more of a finesse to what i do.

Oh this is such classic Snake secondary stuff. Right down to the way that Snake Secondaries do not get Lions, and vice-versa. Also, I dunno, from all the examples given, I would not describe you as “not good at interacting with others.”

i tend to favor seduction and assassination or rogue-ish routes in games, if that helps any.

It does. (Snake.)

sometimes my mom will be set on doing things a certain way and will be metaphorically banging her head on a wall,

like a Lion

and ill be in the corner desperately just like “mom please let me do this please let me hand you a different way to do this oh my god you are killing me here that isnt going to work”

Yeah, that seems like a pretty clear communication disconnect.

#submission #sortme #wisteria sorts #bird snake #bird primary #snake secondary #bird secondary model #sortinghatchats #shc

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seariii · 1 year ago

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"i'll trade your inno kotoko for my inno amane, deal?" i just thought that was funny, a while ago someone did say something about that.

also, ill be happy to keep talking about kotoko, i was already typing something so i'll also @ you in there when im done hehe

i can completely understand why amane inno truthers are so passionate if they read stuff like someone defending the abuser, which kinda makes me glad i dont use twitter, because i dont think i could handle that sort of bs

i couldnt help but laugh when you said about bargaining, because im the group that feels that amane will harm shidou if she gets inno, and guess whos also a fan of shidou? lol

i dont feel like shidou would directly harm kotoko, since hes really against violence. but ive seen other people commenting about how fuuta, mahiru, mikoto (i think someone also named kazui?) could attack kotoko as revenge. in all honesty, the only one i personally see harming kotoko is mikoto, well, orekoto, since they arent on the best terms and i dont see the others actually trying to do harm, where mahiru actually forgave her and fuuta after his guilty on t1, seems to have understood EVEN MORE that what he did was wrong (now plus being on "the other side" of the coin, being a victim to kotoko's "punishment")

also, as much as i love this woman, that comment about "your existence itself is a crime" sounds really.... wrong to me? someone said it was ableist and yeah.....

disregarding my fear of shidou getting hurt, for a second, i think a bargain would be really interesting plot wise tho. plus something about two of the girls with a black and white sense of morality getting closer would be nice to see

but my mind just immediately goes to fluff and nice interactions, so i dont know how that would go .... i wonder tho, would kotoko be fine with that? if they get to know that both got inno because of a bargain, how would they react? hm....

since im writing another post about my takes on kotoko, im not entirely sure what to tell you here.... but i can say that you brought up a point i saw someone else bring up and i hope with all my might that it doesnt come true

about the chance of kotoko having hurt the little girls from the flashbacks on Harrow. if that turns out to be true i will be devastated and ill be mourning for years to come. its already difficult to say i'll vote her innocent because of the harm she did to the other prisoners, but if that theory turns out to be true i will crawl in a hole and cry

in a few words, i am a morally gray person, and i do believe that some people dont deserve second chances, like the guy she killed, who kidnapped little girls and killed them. her victims before milgram were people who took advantage "of the weak", the other one being the man we see at the beginning of harrow, getting beaten up, he was a scammer and took advantage of old people, stealing their money. she sent him to the hospital... overall, her original plan was to protect the weak. to bring justice to those who the system failed to bring to justice. but i believe at some point she strayed from that path and when she first got a taste of killing....

"this feels so good"

yeah.... my girl is coo coo, and has violent tendencies, and enjoys it

she isnt a good person, even if her actions came from a supposedly good place, she is radical on her beliefs, hence why i said her morality is black and white

i am so sorry, i have a point here, but i suck at explaining myself. im gonna try really hard to explain myself more properly on the draft im typing

@seariii I want you to know this is the most wholesome thing I've read regarding someone liking Kotoko in a while.

Also, you were right, the points we're seeing being made are from different places. Most of the defenses for Amane's mother's actions I saw were on twitter directly after the release of Purge March. The misogyny point has come up on multiple platforms though. I do know that people can be very insistent/aggressive when it comes to Amane being Innocent, but I've only heard of that happening. I haven't seen it myself because I'm not in the tag often on here due to reasons.

Although I must admit some of the times that I personally have discussed Amane I've been pushy about it and discussed her case in a way that can come off as self-righteous while comparing it to other prisoners' cases. However, that was directly after seeing people defending her mother's behavior while voting her guilty. Something that is ultimately not a thing I feel should be supported.

Her mother was wrong and it's really unfair to me that the depiction of an abuser is being sympathized with and given more leniency than the person they are portrayed abusing. So, I ended up being more aggressive than I should have been at times as well.

It is stressful to hear things like Kotoko may be beaten up during the intermission. It's a very valid concern for people who care about her character to have but it's a worry that everyone in the fandom shares when it comes to the safety of the prisoners that they care about. Ultimately, we can't really control what the prisoners do after the trial which can be very anxiety inducing for everyone involved. Especially since no one wants any of the characters to be lost before trial three. It's really complicated.

I haven't seen much about Kotoko being attacked outside of the context of Shidou with his "extract that fang" line. Which to be fair given how some within the fandom have discussed Amane's during her second trial he'd probably cease to be a threat to Kotoko's safety if she were voted Innocent. So, in that since Kotoko enjoyers and Amane enjoyers should probably just form an alliance. Logistically it'd be a reasonable course of action even if a bit unfair.

It would also be a better outcome than what occurred with Haruka and Mu this trial. Plus, could have fun narrative implications if brought to the writer's attention I mean this was said in the trial two commencement notice after all-

As they literally made visual allusions to trading and bargaining. Literally this is what comes up when you search bargaining in google.

Milgram isn't really being subtle or slick about it. They're just waiting to see which prisoners' fans are most successful at it at this point. Milgram has sort of been tempting guards to make deals with each other since the start of trial two. Well at least to me that's what it seems like.

The prisoners have even formed some alliances of their own or attempted to do so since the beginning. Milgram has implied we have more of an impact than we know and that some prisoners will change their behavior if they know it will benefit them.

Like this answer of Kotoko's for example,

How would that impact prisoner relationships? The prisoners can hear us after all if they know that we're in support of certain relationships and not others. I wonder how that would go especially attached to positive reinforcement. It could be wild and interesting.

What's a bit of harmless discussion between guards after all? Things like this are much better than going back and forth for each other's throat's tit for tat. Outside of that bit of deluded talk- Because coordination like that in this sort of situation is a pipe dream at this point.

Please keep talking about Kotoko because it's literally restoring my faith in humanity it may be difficult to fully understand but- I thought I was losing it there for a minute.

#look i am really gay for kotoko like its not even funny #but i know she has done wrong and im not gonna erase that #in all honesty i think she deserves guilty this trial as much as it pains me also because im scared she will try to harm the others again #but i love her too much to vote her guilty hahaha so the rest of the community will take care of that

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lunar-wandering · 3 years ago

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i cant believe i never posted this but here’s a new shadowpeach au for yall:

basically, Macaque and Wukong get cursed so that if they’re not within a certain distance of each other, their powers misfire.

they get a mark on their face, like on their cheek, Wukong's is a moon and Macaque's is a sun (to like, represent how they need to be close to the other or like the whole opposites thing or whatever) and they try. so desperately. to hide the fact that they've been cursed from the others.

Mei: hey whats with the new marking?

Wukong: thought i'd just try out some new makeup!

Mei: hm. would've thought you'd have gotten a sun marking

Macaque, overhearing them from the other room: you and me both kid

they keep making excuses to constantly be in the other's presence-

Sandy: hey Monkey King could you come help me carry these boxes

Wukong: uh- yeah- if Macaque can come along too

MK: ....Macaque doesn't have the same level of super strength that you do though

Macaque: im just here for moral support

eventually though they both end up busy with different things at the same time and they're not paying enough attention to notice the distance growing in between them and-

Wukong, who was helping Red Son in his lab: *(drops a bunch of stuff that should've been easy for him to carry)*

Red Son: ...are you okay?

Wukong: yep, mhm, fine, totally fine-

Wukong: *(tries to step around the pile of stuff and accidentally steps down hard enough to dent the floor)*

And meanwhile-

Macaque, who was getting dragged out shopping with MK: *(has his glamour start glitching out)*

MK: you good?

Macaque: huh? oh! oh yeah this is normal

MK, not believing this for a even a second: ......no.

of course, the rest of the crew immediately mistakes the monkeys newfound closeness for something else,

MK: so uh...you dating Macaque now??

Wukong, choking on his own breath: what gave you that impression???

MK: well i mean you've had a crush on him since forever-

Wukong: *(wheezing cause he didn't think MK KNEW THAT)*

MK: and also you keep making excuses to hang around him

Wukong: that- that's something COMPLETELY DIFFERENT-

MK: how so?

Wukong: ......

MK: thats what i thought

Wukong: me and Macaque are not dating

MK: ....yet

Wukong: MK

and meanwhile, with Macaque-

Mei: so. you're dating the Monkey King?

Macaque: ha! I wish-

Macaque: (immediately slams his hand over his mouth as he realizes he just admitted to wanting to date Wukong)

Mei: *(wheezing)*

Wukong and Macaque start “fake dating” to get the others off their backs. Neither of them actually mind the concept of dating but they’re too dumb to communicate over it.

Red Son is the only one who figures out that they’re cursed. He gets payed not to tell anyone AND gets permission to date both Mei and MK. he really is standing over here like "i get money, permission to date the two people i have a crush on, and i get to watch two immortal monkeys be dumb as shit. i am living my best life"

of course Red Son only lasts a week before he tells Mei about it because he knows she’ll find it funny, and they then of course proceed to tell MK about it

MK of course, is a little worried about it,

MK: like, are there any other side effects to the curse? what was the person who cursed them planning by doing this?

Wukong and Macaque, who were just really dumb and accidentally dropped one of the items in Wukong's giant room of magic artifacts:

of course to assuage MK’s fear Red Son does more research into the curse and well,

you’ve probably been wondering “is Lupin gonna say that true loves kiss breaks the curse??” and you would be 100% correct on it. of course really its more so just the confession of feelings in general but a kiss is an easy way to get that Whole Thing across.

Red Son reads that the way to break it is a “true loves kiss” and immediately bursts into loud laughter for like 20 minutes. after which he shows the solution to MK and Mei and the three of them immediately begin planning how to set the monkeys up. they do not tell Macaque or Wukong about the solution. they have to get their entertainment somewhere.

MK tries like. tying the two of them up together "on accident" but that plan fails when Macaque just goes intangible via shadows and Wukong just breaks the rope.

....actually most of their plans fail due to Macaque going intangible via shadows.

Mei: look at me. Macaque, look at me. stop going intangible you son of a bitch do you want to get this curse broken or not

Macaque: what does that have to do with solving the curse????

they tell Macaque that the solution is a true loves kiss and Macaque just shuts down for a good 5 minutes (he's nowhere near confident enough to initiate a kiss and i stand firm on that)

they all completely forget to tell Wukong. they put all their efforts into hyping Macaque up. he fails at initiating a kiss MULTIPLE times.

when the kiss inevitably happens though,

Macaque uses his wind powers to make both him and Wukong light enough to dance on water in he middle of the night, just kinda having fun, spinning around.

he starts losing his confidence for a kiss halfway through though, and glances away- at which point Wukong cups his cheek, turns him back to face him, and after a moment of silent conversation via eye contact- they kiss.

sparks appear as the curse magic is undone. the markings on their faces swirl, and change to be like, a picture of the sun and moon merged together

they break the kiss and just stare at each other lovingly for a few seconds and then, Macaque's concentration having been broken, the magic holding them up vanishes and they fall into the water-

#Monkie Kid #*(spaces out trying to think of a name for this AU)*#uhhhh #Equinox AU #or maybe #Unity AU #idk...#shadowpeach

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arcadejohn127-9 · 4 years ago

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Hello,, may i request headcanons of the brothers who got a love letter from mc but it turned out to be a prank from some lesser demons,,thank you :))

This was meant to be posted on yesterday for April fools but ended up getting caught up with things irl and didn't get to finish it in time - aaaaaaaand I fell asleep before midnight and now it's 3 am, fell asleep mid way through writing, well done me 😭😂

Rip the lesser demons for always having the balls to cause mischief but always end up getting hurt, when will they learn - what happens at the end is up to you

The lesser demon snickered towards his friend, shushing their friend as they slipped the pink letter into the higher demons locker. Another demon was with them, more timid than the other two.

"what if we get in trouble?! They'll find out it wasn't actually the human and we'll end up dog food-!"

"we planned this whole thing, it'll be fun - we just gotta stay at a distance!"

It was long before footsteps grew closer, the timid demon squeaking in fear. The other lesser demons took it as a sign to start running, grabbing each other and bolted away from the scene of the crime.

The owner of the locker arrived, just noticing the lesser demons run off in the distance. He opened his locker and almost stumbled back when a letter fluttered out. The demon grew curious he noticed there was a heart seal on the back. He opened it to read it to himself.

To my dearest friend,

I think it's about time I come clean about my feelings, I've been holding these in for a very long time and I refuse to keep them a secret anymore!

I'm in love with you! I can't explain it but you've won my heart, everytime you smile at me I just can't help but feel my heart skip. Is it wrong to feel this way? I'm only a human and you are a demon...we're so different and I don't know how long we'll be able to have this time we have together. All I know is that I want to be with you for as long as I can!

Will you accept my feelings? I'm not sure if I can face just yet so meet me at the end of day! I'll be waiting for you at the back of the school - I really hope you come. Even if it's decline my feelings....I just want to be able to face you and how you make me feel.

Love, (Y/N)

Lucifer:

Oh his ego is SO stroked

He could just imagine the human blushing as they wrote and nervously putting it in his locker

He did see you later that day and decided to tease you a little but while you were flustered, you also seemed confused

That was his first suspicion

When the time finally came he was patient but you weren't early

His second suspicious

You both knew each other very well, he liked things being in a timely Matter and you tried your best to not be late

He stiffened when he heard a snicker from a few trees away, he looked over there to see three demons all hiding

"I know you're hiding, it's best you come out now."

One by one they all showed themselves, growing nervous

"Come here, don't be shy, I'm sure there's a perfectly good reason for this, after all you seemed to be desperate to have me out here."

"you- you knew it wasn't the human?!"

his pride wouldn't let him tell the truth, he refused to show his disappointment

"of course, you clearly don't understand the human as much as you think you do - now, who's the leader? I think we should have a nice talk."

Mammon:

YOU GAVE HIM A LOVE LETTER??!!!

He's internally screaming, his face was bright red

Watch this boy struggle against his locker as he tries to hide his excitement

Though, when his high died down he did find it strange you were being shy

You could have your shy moments but to confess through a letter was odd

He wasn't the brightest guy around but he can sense when he's getting scammed - even if he ignores that instinct when it comes to money

He's always around you so it wasn't strange for him to see you after class and he was surprised how... relaxed you were

Something was up but in the end, he went to the back of the school

When he texted you, asking you where you were and you said going home - that was the final straw

HE WAS TRICKED!

"Oi! Are you out there?! I know you tricked me!"

The lesser demons started to panic, not thinking mammon would catch on

But when mammon started marching around looking for them they decided it was best to reveal themselves

"There ya are, now let's get to talking - what made you three wanna do something like this? You think it's funny to pretend to be the human?"

The leader snickered, agreeing that it was funny to pretend but their friends understood right now - their doom was coming

Mammon cracked his knuckles, stalking closest to them

"I like a good joke, let me show you my favourite one."

Levithan:

Love Letter in his locker??? Heart seal!!!??HE WAS THE LOVE INTEREST??!!

He's torn between dying inside and excitement, he's absolutely losing it

He had to fan himself with the letter due to how hot his face was getting

He wasn't sure how he was going to face you! Let alone you having to face him

But- there was no way you were interested in him! You wouldn't do this

He didn't believe it, it HAD to be a prank

When levi saw you for the rest of the day it only strengthen his suspicions

He did go to the back of the school and when he saw you were no where to he seen

He was absolutely embarassed and ashamed by even hoping it was real

"YOU CAN COME OUT NOW! just- just stop hiding, it isn't funny."

the demons came out, disappointed with the lack of dramatics

"so you three did it, you really think it's funny to do something like this?! To mess with someone's feelings and pretend to be the human is just - IT'S PATHETIC-!"

The demons started to feel uncomfortable, the higher demon had tears in his eyes and obviously worked up

Even the one who wanted to see this kind of reaction was uncomfortable

His demon form started to shift outwards and raised his hand, the ground beneath them rumbling

"it seems you just think I'm some sort of pushover! But I'm not!"

Satan:

Hm, how interesting

It isn't too odd that you're using a letter to confess, you know he appreciate writing

But you were more verbal or atleast text - this was new

But to say he wasn't absolutely ecstatic was an understatement, he was beyond the moon

When he saw you later he tried to not bring up the letter as his brothers were around

Though, he was thrown off when you got confused when he teased about seeing you after school

He decided he'll investigate things, going up to demons who have lockers near his and ask if he saw the human put anything in it

After awhile of searching he finally found out it was three demons who did it - he didn't want to spoil their fun and so he still went

He leaned against the nearest tree, waiting for the demons to arrive

"Ah you're here, I'm so glad you finally came."

the demons were surprised when he moved towards them, they left their hiding spot with nervous smiles

"You write well, you got their energy almost perfectly into the letter - I'm impressed."

They didn't expect that....not one bit

"you're not....mad???"

Satan chuckled, flexing his clenched fists

His smile grew more strained and dangerous as he leaned over them

"oh no, no I'm not mad - im LIVID."

Asmodeus:

He was surprised to get a love letter, he gets piles worth everyday

He didn't expect it to be from YOU though

You were so open with him and you two were already overly affectionate to each other he was sure you were already low-key dating

So to get confirmation his feelings were returned - he was overjoyed!

As soon as he saw you he's hugging you, telling you how he loved your letter and that he'll still meet you after school if you need to

You were utterly confused and unsure what he was talking about

When you told him you didn't give him that letter he felt his heart break

You didn't love him?? That wasn't your letter??

To think someone would play a prank on him like that! It was rude!

When it was time, he went to the back of the school and pretended as if he didn't sense the other demons

That was until he grew impatient

"are you shy, dear? It's okay - I know it wasn't the human~"

The lesser demons came out, confused

One of them blushed just being near him

"I'm sorry for my friend! They wanted to play the prank but- but I love you asmo!"

He gave them a pity smile

"aww~ of course you love me! But you really hurt my feelings making me believe the human did, I almost cried!"

The demons immediately all felt bad

The idea of their gorgeous asmo crying made them guilty

"I know exactly what will make me feel better, making sure you three can never write again~! Can't have you keep tricking me, can I?"

Beezlebub:

A Love letter from you?! He's a happy boy

But now that he actually thinks about it - it's odd you're not being upfront

You two usually sit alone together when you wanna get something off your chest, holding hands and you don't even have to face each other

Why the sudden change? Perhaps you just wanted to be like one of Levi's anime characters

Regardless, he was happy and wanted you to be happy

Hes was going to make you happy!

Beel was quick to find you and act like he didn't find your letter, you said you'll face him after school and he respected that

Whilst you couldn't exactly avoid each other before then, he did try to give you space

As soon as school ended he Went to the back, waiting for you to arrive

Each second went by and he grew more hungry

He smelt something close by and found three demons hiding, it was odd but he didn't want to be hungry whilst you confessed - he wanted to give you his full focus

"ah-! How did you know we were here?!"

"I smelt the sandwich in your bag, I want it."

It didn't take much convincing to hand it over

He's a scary demon afterall

"it's best you leave, my friend is coming."

One of the demons started laughing, questioning if he actually believed it was you who gave him the letter

Beel got confused before it all clicked together, he frowned, glaring at the demons

He wasn't happy

"I'm still hungry, three demons will do just fine."

Belphegor:

Happy cow man, demon tail go SWISH

On the inside hes like an excited dog, outside he's just standing there

Meanwhile he wants to be like his twin, respectful that you want to do later

He isn't that patient and wants to make it official with you NOW

so as soon as he sees you, he's draping himself on you and telling you how impatient he is

You're confused on why and he shows you the love letter

You tell him that it isn't from you and that's not even your hand writing - it's a good mimic but not yours

He is SHOCKED then he's mad

He still goes to the back of the school but it's to fight whoever pranked him

He wasn't going to wait around

"Get out now or I'll search this entire space for you - it won't be pretty if I find out."

It didn't take the demons twice to show themselves

Belphegor was feared amongst others due to his brutality when push comes to shove

Just because he's always sleeping doesn't mean he isn't scary

"Good~ so which one of you wrote the letter? If you wanted to confess you should of just done it."

The demons looked at each other, unsure on what to do

But after a few moments the youngest brother got impatient, moving towards them with a clenched hand

The leader of the lesser demons finally admitted to doing the prank

"see? It wasn't so hard, let's have a long chat about this~"

#obey me #obey me shall we date #gamingclubpresident #aracadejohn217 9 #obey me mammon #obey me mc #obey me asmodeus #obey me satan #obey me belphegor #obey me beezlebub #obey me leviathan #obey me luficer #obey me imagine #obey me headcanon #obey me headcanons #obey me x mc #obey me x you #obey me x reader

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nightowlfandom · 3 years ago

Text

Vampire! King! Ardyn Izunia!- Sadistic

Hey guys! Let’s kick off October with a bang!!!

ANON ASKS (HEY FRIEND)

Sooo Ardyn is a guilty pleasure of mine. Feel free to do what you want with these prompts, I won’t judge lol. They are all from the prompt list.

7. You like when I choke you don’t you?

62. What a gorgeous dress…but it’d look better torn to ribbons don’t you think?

70. You know…it’s dangerous being out like this. A pretty little sla- I mean thing like you out here all alone.

Thank you for including the actual prompt in the ask!! I may or may not have made him slightly sadistic. Also I got a rude ask telling me to put a read more break...so on purpose I didn’t add one here. It pays to be polite.

CHECK OUT MY MASTERLIST HERE!!

X RATED PROMPT LIST| NON X RATED PROMPT LIST

Leggo!!

...

The hem of your gown was torn to shreds as you ran through the forest. You were barefoot running through the cold and wet dirt. Your feet were starting to itch from the scratching of small twigs against your skin. You were running away from your parents’ palace.

You were to be married to someone. Someone you were disgusted by. You had two options. Marry or Be disowned. You chose to escape through your window and jump down. You almost hurt yourself on the way down, but it was worth it.

You had been running for what felt like hours with the moon on your tail. You finally stopped as soon as your palace was nothing but a silhouette in the distance.

“Guess I’m homeless now.” you sighed, sitting on a small log. “What am I supposed to do?” you groaned. It was dark and you could barely make out the moon amongst the smog. Lucky for you the wind was slightly picking up allowing you to feel the breeze on your skin.

“What’s this?” a low vibrating tone allowed you to come back to your senses.

You instantly rose to your feet, turning to meet the face of tall man. He looked as if he was dressed for the middle of the winter time with his heavy trench coat and scarf.

“A scared little lamb all by herself in such a place. You’re a long way from home aren’t you, young one?”

“Don’t speak down on me as if I’m a child, sir.” you narrowed your eyebrows at the strangers. “I’m far from it.”

“Hm.” he smirked. “My apologies.” he gave a slight bow. “What’s a young soul like you doing out in these parts so late in the night?”

“I don’t believe that is any business of yours, sir.” you took a step back. “Now I’ll be taking my leave now.” your voice wavered as you turned aroundd. But just as you turned to walk away, a man, the same man appeared before you.

“ You know…it’s dangerous being out like this. A pretty little sla- I mean thing like you out here all alone. “ he said with his hand held out. “If I may be so bold, I can escort you out of these parts.” his eyes practically glowed in the dark.

“No thank you.” you stepped back. “I know my way very well, thank you.”

Just as you turned around again, he appeared in front of you once more.

“Darling little girl-”

“Don’t call me a little girl!” you seethed.

“Hm, touchy are we. Young one doesn’t like being called a pathetic...little...girl.” he towered over you. “And don’t even think about grabbing the dagger I know is strapped to your thigh...you won’t get to use it.”

“What are you?” your voice slightly wavered.

“Ardyn Izunia...is what I am.”

Ardyn, where have you heard that name. The man seemed to laugh as the look of realization crossed your face. King Ardyn? The ‘Father’ of all vampires. He cackled at your fear struck expression. Your father had told you stories of his evil.

“Ah the young princess Y/N knows of me?”

“How did you-”

“Know your name, love? Everyone knows of the, most beautiful, kindest and giving of her time. You should know better, how forgetful we are.” he raised an eyebrow.

“You stay away from me.” you warned.

“Hm are you’re guards going to come and kill me, love?”

“I have no guards...not anymore.” you found yourself saying. You had your hand on your thigh under the slit of your dress. You wrapped your hand around your dagger. “Leave me...now.”

“Hm...anymore? Why? Was the little princess disowned?” he laughed. “Did their royal highnesses finally get rid of their problem child?”

You suddenly felt small and inadequate. “That’s none of your business.”

“Oh yes you have.” he took a step towards you. “You’re all alone, with no one?” he cooed. “Which means there’s no one to hear you scream.”

“Hear me sc-”

You were tackled to the floor, your weapon flying out of your hand. Ardyn bared his fangs towards you...” You like when I choke you don’t you? “ he cackled as he tightened his hands around your throat. You felt dizzy, very...fucking..dizzy.

”I must admit, darling girl...you look so delectable. It’s a shame I must kill you...but a vampire must drink.” he moved his hands from your neck allowing you to inhale sharply.

With his arm wrapped around your wrist and bought your shaky arm to his mouth. You were too frozen to even try and move. Adryn inhaled your scent, smiling sadistically down at you.

You held in your pain as he sunk his needle like fangs into your skin. You wouldn’t scream or cry.

“...So...divine.” the man shuddered. “S-so...addicting.” Was that normal?

You had no idea why, but feeling this. It was supposed to be painful, it was supposed to be what happened before you died a terrible death. So why were you seeing images...images you shouldn’t have seen.

...

“You look so beautiful in the sun, my darling.” the man beside you caressed your face as you both laid in the gardens. “You are the most beautiful of my fledglings.”

“I’d just better be the only one you treat like this.”

“Trust me darling, there are other people who will sire for me...my fangs will only ever touch your skin...when I’m not feeding or killing.” he smirked. “Come, it’s been a busy day. Lay your head on my chest...rest with me.”

You laid on his chest, the sun casting a glare over your naked bodies. “Can I ask you a question, Ardyn? Is this whole laying naked in the sun a regular thing?”

“Clothes are for humans with no free time...Now hush my dear...rest.”

...

and everything else went black.

...

You awoke on a plush surface. It was soft and velvety. A large, black comforter was covering your body.

“Oh fuck, am I dead?” was your first thought. You swung your legs around the bed and planted your feet on the floor. Why were you so cold. You walked over to a vanity, standing in front of a mirror. Your arm was bandaged up. “No...I’m not dead.”

“You’re finally awake.”

You whipped around. Ardyn was sitting in an armchair wearing only a silk bathrobe. “I was beginning to think you’d never wake up.”

“W-what? What did you do to me?”

“I didn’t kill you, I know that much.” he rose from his seat.

“What?...Where am I??”

“My home...well. Our home now.” he walked towards you. “I know what you’re thinking-”

“You saw it too didn’t you?” you cut him off. “I know you know what it means...so tell me.”

“I’m not sure...all I know is that I couldn’t kill you. Before I knew it, I bit my own hand and made you take my own blood...I’ve never done that when changing someone.”

“Changing?!” you widened your eyes. “You...you PEICE OF!” you raised your fist when you realized just how clearly you could make out every crevice and divot on your hand and nails. “N-no this isn’t real!”

“Oh it is, my sweet.” he tiptoes his fingers up arm. You took a small step back, staring down at yourself.

“ What a gorgeous dress…but it’d look better torn to ribbons don’t you think? “ he grabbed your hands in his. “Stop resisting and accept your new fate.”

“I feel strange.” you expressed honestly. “Is it supposed to feel like this?” you stared up at him.

He tilted your head up, staring at your innocence.

“It can feel even better. Vampires are godly lovers...very few have laid with me...if you agree, you can be mine.”

(HAVE ANY MONBSTER REQUESTS? LET ME KNOW!!! IM TRYNA POST AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE THIS MONTH!!)

#ardyn x reader #ardyn izunia #ardyn izunia x reader #ffxv x reader #ffxv imagines #final fantasy 15 ardyn #final fantasy x reader #ff15 #ffxv headcanons #ardyn izunia imagine #final fantasy 15 #ffxv smut #ffxv lemons #ff15 x reader #nightowlfandom

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savnofilter · 4 years ago

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TW: MENTIONS OF DISCOURSE, GR//MING, P/D/PHILIA, ASS//LT, C//NSENT, D//RK CONTENT.

- this isnt under a read more because i want people to read this, but please read past this/tread carefully if you cannot handle such topics. this is not meant to be interacted with.

I'm not sure how to really go about this. I've been overthinking if I should address this and bring up some stuff while I've been gone, so sorry the absence. I deleted the tumblr app a few days ago and I downloaded it again today so i could post this. I really don't like making posts like this because it cuts the vibe that I've been trying to portray that everything is okay and it makes me feel really disconnected to you guys. I am sorry for the abrupt absence and cutting off any source of communication between us. I knew if I left any form of direct line of talk to me that I would receive hate and I just mentally decided that I cant sit through being harassed right now.

Have you guys ever paid attention to the same people who always have a statement to say or is always in discourse? It's very telling how everyone can post about me, but I shouldnt dare post about them. I'm tired of not being able to post about what I want without people vague posting about me, bringing me up every time they start another discourse with another writer or directly talking about me. My days on here are starting to feel the same. Its good then it goes bad. Good goes bad and bad goes good. It's not even tiring, annoying, or angering -- its repetitive. When I'm not saying anything people create fake stories about me, and when i speak about it im the one starting discourse. Don't get me wrong, I'm nowhere near perfect and I have made my own mistakes. But why the fuck am I always being told to be the mature one, why am I the one who should've done better, why do you people expect so much from me. It's the fact people are always quick to say, "no one cares about you, youre fishing for attention" when they're the ones who vague and interact with me while ive been minding my business for months now. Hm. The fact people have me proudly blocked but still harass me anyways shows a lot about themselves than it does for me. How its such an issue that im a minor until it comes to demonizing, tearing down my character, gaslighting, lying and bullying. I'm a literal example of how their friend group manipulates their followers and exiles people from fandoms for not kissing their ass. except now its in your face.

Consider this my last post about this discourse. I'm not going to waste my time on people who fail to digest other peoples thoughts and opinions time and time again because theyre weak narcissists. If I so choose to decide to shit post my opinions or argue with someone, none of you should be aggravated or moved by it because youre not even supposed to be on my page. If its not something serious i will not be wasting energy that i can be using to build on myself as a growing person than on miserable old ladies that have to use fanfiction to have excitement in their pity, depressing and lackluster lives. If people so do choose to create stories or vague about me, I do not care. So I ask respectfully to people who do lurk on my page to not attempt to message, post or vague about me please. This includes sending anons to yourself to make shit happen.

Past that, something got me thinking. My (older) friend had showed me screenshots of adult writers (no one i have spoken to) that were very excited to write underaged reader with adult characters. There are other instances where writers (that you have probably read from) on here openly made reader underage while aging characters up as adults/with adults. There are many more but there's really no point in listing them nor do I really care. But least to say, the same people who are gung-ho over these pedophilic themes/stories are the same people who support predatory people.

I've been thinking about whether or not i should continue writing for the students anymore. Granted, I still think they're attractive because one snap of the fingers cant stop that. I had been teetering on this thought for awhile because of how borderline pedophilic the people are here towards my age group. I enjoy writing but not to the point of willingly being in a straight line of sight where people who are well over 16 are harassing me and lurking on my page, especially to other minors solely because they are my friends. Backtracking to the statement before, I honestly dont know if I will either stop writing or just for the students as a whole. It shows that clearly some people are using their attraction to teens with the excuse that the characters are fake. The rapid normalization on dark problematic "kinks" is disgusting and vile, and the fact that its discourse now to shame said interests is appalling. Concluding that combined with my experiences here, i feel unsafe.

***(TRIGGER WARNING)*** I dont talk about my personal life on here that much cause I dont see the need too nor do i think its anyone's business. Paired with the fact that the people i have trusted personal information with have used it against me, I will be preventing myself from opening that door. Besides that for now, I have sparsely shared I've been assaulted before. This is my first time really opening up about this and i kind of find it necessary now. Coming from someone who has been a victim of assault and CP by people my age and well over, writing nsfw has been the only way where I could feel comfortable with sex in general. I won't get into details because mentioning this is triggering already and can make people uncomfortable. It feels like anywhere I go, I'm constantly putting myself in a position to be abused. The same people who told me I didn't have to worry about my age and be judged for it, exposed the minimum comfort of keeping myself private online to demonize, judge and hurt me. People call me "extra" for being distraught about my face and age being posted because they think im trying to be sneaky which isn't the case. Its the principle that they KNEW I wasnt ready to share said things, and coming from someone who is inherently a private and closed person, she knew damn well what she was doing when posting screenshots of me on Tumblr. There is no excuse for it. The same writers who write dub/non-con can BARELY understand basic consent and its fucking terrifying. This site was the only other place I could cope without being criticized. To see people who some i was close to proudly lie on my name, (adults) say that i sent them pornographic content without their consent is so very hurtful. To watch people supposedly be victims and then use their own trauma to invalidate my own was so fucking humiliating, disgusting and nerve wracking. Although I knew I made the terrible decision to interact with stories, I have never initiated any NSFW discussion with anyone in DMs unless they did it with me first and a few times -- and trust me raise your hand I'll show you the proof. I was sure that everyone I talked to regularly knew that I was a minor, and to my general consensus, people were under the impression I was 15/16 (which I was and am).***

Whether it be victim blaming from the grooming discourse, I've been met with racism, harassment towards my friends, people wanting me to harm myself and be assaulted. I fear what will happen when i will turn 18, if the harassment will escalate and what not. A big part of me is that I'm still here anyways because it pisses people off and I don't care when I receive hate. I can take it but I don't want it. A good conscious of me knows that I should be doing what's best for me but at the end I'm still attached to my ego-self with the added fact that I sincerely enjoy interacting with my followers and posting stories.

I just don't know how the options look. I'll probably be updating my blog rules as of right now. I've been writing more sfw lately because of this and it'd be nice if you guys supported those until I properly decide. I still have plenty of requests of a bunch of characters (mostly Bakugo and Dabi) and original stuff (all sfw & nsfw) that I really wanna share with you guys. But I just ask that what I do modify that you will respect it like you would to any other writer on here.

Stay safe, keep your mask on, and thank you.

#discourse #tw discourse #tw: discourse #sav talks

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diddlesanddoodles · 5 years ago

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Dumpling ch. 17

(author’s notes: I’M NOT DEAD!)

Keral sent along his message to Hev the blacksmith informing him of Nenani’s need for a new marker with a servant who came to replenish the wine decanter and deliver a few papers and notes to Maevis. Once a fresh post of tea had been brewed and Keral’s wine glass filled, they got to work.

In no time at all, the number of books being taken down from the shelves were taking over the table and along with them came seemingly endless rolls of parchment upon which Maevis furiously scribbled as many notes and citations as his quill and ink could produce. Keral, for his role, thumbed through various books and whenever he came upon something, he slipped a small piece of parchment in the page and sat it before the magician. The library had taken on an air of solemnity.

However, as was his nature, Jae did not much care for the weight of the room and did his best to keep the mood from sinking any further.

“So a smoke mage,” he wondered aloud to to one in particular, lounging against a stack of books. “What makes a smoke mage so dangerous? Because by the name alone, I think the fellow may have drawn the short end of the magic stick.”

“No mage is inherently dangerous,” Barnaby said. “But we do not know this mage’s intentions and what we do know is that they are violent and not above meaningless killing.”

He was on his second cup of tea and comfortably seated on a cushion close to where Maevis was working. After trying to aide in the research himself and suffering a slight dizzy spell, Maevis all but demanded that the old archivist sit and rest.

“It won’t do to tire yourself, my friend,” the magician had told the human gently in an attempt to mask his worry. “Best rest a while.”

“I am fine,” Barnaby replied with a disregarding wave, but he still lowered himself onto the cushion nonetheless. “Just a bit over excited, mind you. I’ll be right as rain in a bit.”

“Not very nice t’be worryin’ old Meeves now,” Keral added. “He already frets over ya like a hen. Won’t be helpin’ ‘im much to be actin’ fragile, eh? Let us do the heavy liftin’ and if ya remember anything, we’ll write it down.”

Barnaby huffed mildly at being accused of acting fragile, but stayed put and did not refuse Jae when he handed him his tea. Nenani watched with confusion as the two giants worked and fussed and Jae fidgeted. She knew very little of magic and prior to meeting Maevis, she had never seen it used.

“What’s a mage?” she asked.

All at once, she became the focus of the room and she felt her face flush. Perhaps it had been a silly question.

“Well,” Maevis began thoughtfully. “A mage is a person who uses magic.”

“Like the kind of magic you do?” she asked.

“Not exactly,” he replied patiently. “I learned magic from studying it in books and from other magicians. A mage does not learn magic, they are born with it. Sometimes they are called Elementals, because a mage’s magic often times coincides with a particular element.”

“Like fire?” she asked. “Fire mages?”

“Correct,” Maevis replied. “Though it is also important to note that while all Elementals are considered mages, not all mages are Elementals.”

Nenani made a face. “I...I don’t...huh?”

Keral laughed at her as he sat a book down. “Elementals are human, but one of us big folk could be a mage. We just wouldn’t be called an Elemental. Like that Bertol fellow.”

Now it was Maevis’s turn to make a face and Keral released a loud bark of a laugh.

“Oh, come now,” Keral replied. “Don’t y’know Bertol is the greatest prophet who ever lived?”

“Bertol the bumbling buffoon,” Maevis replied dryly, “Is as much a prophet as that tea pot over there and not nearly so useful. And only by the skin of his teeth does he have any right to claim himself a mage.”

Keral grinned, laughing. “Don’t care fer his ramblings either then? Hm. Neither does the King.”

“I would not blame King Warren if he should one day decide to place that idiot in the stockades and conveniently forget him.”

“Who is Bertol?” Nenani asked, glancing between the two giants, feeling more confused than ever. Mages, Elementals, and now prophets?

“Bertol is a Vhasshallan mage,” Maevis replied sourly. “He is thought by many in Vhasshal to hold the gift of foresight. That he can see the future and make predictions based upon his visions. He was the one responsible for the Gold prophecy.”

“Gold…?” she asked, trailing off.

“It’s why Warren’s called the Gold King,” Jae added before biting into a biscuit.

Seeing her confusion, Keral reached for a book sitting on the edge of the table, a smallish black volume with gold lettering, and he flipped it open and began to read. His voice was even and mellow, but the words that sprouted from his lips brought with them a sickening sensation of her guts being pulled and ice dripping down her spine.

“The river runs uphill to the dying songs of the fall of fools and Kings that tear flesh from bone and the crown from the mountain. Water runs red with fire and shall rise when the old blood runs new. The flesh taken will be paid in blood and the dead walls will rise with gold.”

He closed the book with a snap and tilted his head down to regard Nenani with an open expression, but froze, brows drawing together, and he bent down. “Ya alright there lass? Yer a bit pale.”

In depths of her memory, she could feel the cool stone of the catacomb and see the empty hollows that once held eyes of those that had once been a person. Those voices chanting. Her dreams that played out in her mind every night. The smell of smoke, the screams of men dying as the fishing boats burned. A man in black, his face obscured by the skull of a stag. Her Uncle calling to her as he died.

And those words…

“...shall rise when the old blood runs new.”

She felt thick fingers wrap around her shoulders and Kerals voice broke through the fog of her mind. Abruptly she broke free and she was no longer within herself but back at the library. The scent of smoke and ash replaced by that of parchment and ink and tea. And Keral’s body odor.

She met his eyes and was surprised to find her cheeks wet. “I...I don’t know...”

“Oi now, don’t go lettin’ them words scare ya. Yer alright,” he told her quietly. “Nothin’ to be upset about. They’re just words, remember. Besides, it already came to pass. Nothin’ to fear, eh?”

Barnaby and Jae were both studying her with a mixture of expressions from worried to bewildered. Now aware that everyone was intently focusing in on her, Nenani flushed and scrubbed at her cheeks in slight embankment. “Sorry. I’m fine.”

“You’ve had quite a day,” Maevis said, an air of suggestion in his tone. With a gloved hand, he waved behind towards the door just beyond the curtain. “Would you like to have a rest?”

“Best thing t’do would get ya back to th’ kitchens,” Keral added as he rubbed his chin in contemplation. “But if ya showed up without a marker, Farris would have a right apoplexy.”

“Yeah, Hev’s work is good,” said Jae. “But metal working takes time. And it’ll take most of the afternoon for Connor to do the detail work.”

Nenani shook her head. “I’m fine. I don’t need to rest. That poem, er – prophecy. I’ve heard it before, but I didn’t know it was a prophecy.”

Maevis expression of concern shifted into mild disdain. “Yes, well. I wouldn’t put much weight nor worry to those words. The one responsible for that dribble has as much foresight as a week old turnip.”

“First a tea pot and now he’s a turnip,” Jae sniggered. “So which one is he?”

“What has that poor old buggar done to earn your ire, Meeves,” Keral asked. “Didn’t think you had it in ya t’hold a grudge. Even against someone deserving of it.”

Maevis took a moment to take a long and slow breath, placing his folded hands atop the table, and seemed to collect himself.

“Anyone can string together phrases with grandiose words so vague as to be perfectly useless,” Maevis replied, his irritation smoothed over, but still there. “There are many who take themselves for grand prophets and mostly their predictions fall to deaf ears. Bertol has managed to convince people his words are true and by the God’s graces, I haven’t the foggiest inclination as to why they would listen to him, of all people.”

“He had good timing,” Keral offered in response. “Folks were looking for something to cling to. They'll cling to hope if they smell it. Makes ‘em desperate.”

“My meaning, precisely, Keral! Words have power when people make it so. Bertol’s words were hallow and meaningless. Just enough vague enough for opportunistic fiends to take advantage. They see themselves in his words and are convinced that they’re meant to grander things. Bertol’s words are reckless. And therefore, dangerous.”

…………………………………………….

“Tell me master Barnabas,” Keral said with surprise formality. He sat in the same chair, but his glass of wine had been replaced by a cup of tea by Maevis after the ranger had all but drained the pitcher all on his own. Beside him stood a small stack of books. Maevis held his own cup and nursed it. Beside him sat a much more impressive amass of books and tomes.

They had paused their research for a break and Barnaby was looking over the slate he had given to Nenani to draw on, showing her how to hold the chalk and how to use the lines to create an image. Keral had been watching them with an enigmatic expression, though Nenani tried not to let it bother her. Keral had managed to subvert her expectations of what kind of a person he was, but there were occasions she had caught glimpses of something else.

Something that she could not help but feel nervous about. But no one else seemed at all concerned, so Nenani decided she was just being silly.

At hearing his name, Barnaby looked to Keral inquisitively and the ranger continued. “How common was red hair in Silvaara?”

The question was odd. Odd enough to catch the room by surprise and then as a consequence, all eyes turned to Nenani. The only one of them with red hair.

Feeling the weight of their curious eyes, she shrank away from their peering gazes. “What?”

Barnaby turned back to Keral, perplexed. “Not too common. Black or brown is more common, such as young master Jae. I myself had brown hair. When I was young. And had hair. Why?”

“What about the highborns?” Keral asked. “Nobles and the like?”

Barnaby’s eyed widened as understanding struck him. “Oh. Well, red was much more common. A genetic consequence of the blood purity obsession that took over the last decades. Though it was wildly held as truth that those with red hair were born of fire and were more likely to hold the Flower’s blessing.”

Jae watched with mild curiosity and then laughed, eyeing Keral skeptically. “What? You think Nenani’ might be a long lost highborn?”

Keral shrugged. “I get curious. The Hill tribes are all brown and black haired save for the last one Farris picked up from Dornbey. Poor sod had quite the reception when I delivered ‘im to Gregis. It was all m’lord this and m’lord that. Practically swarmed th’fellow. He was already outta his head. Poor bastard.”

“Well,” Barnaby continued, glancing at Nenani. “That was one subject I had hoped to broach with you dear. As Jae may have explained, I am an archivist and I write histories. Whenever a human comes to live here on castle grounds I write down their histories. To persevere what little of Silvaara remains. And after your first visit and all that transpired, I had quite forgotten to ask you about who your parents were as I did not want to upset you any further. And Keral has made a fine point. Your hair color tells me I may be able to find your family history if you can tell me your family name.”

“Family name?” Nenani asked, thinking back. “I don’t think we have one...”

“Oh, nonsense,” Barnaby replied. “Everyone has a family name. We’ll start with your father, then. What was his name? Many families passed down names to the first born sons. I might be able to trace you to a particular family.”

“That’s how I got my name.” Jae added in.

“Hayron,” Nenani said. “Papa’s name was Hayron.”

Barnaby, who had taken up a quill and spare parchment to take notes, paused and he peeked over the top of the parchment with raised eyebrows. “Hayron, you said?”

Nenani nodded. “Yes. My Uncle’s name was Halden.”

He placed the the quill and parchment on his lap and seemed to consider her for a moment as though seeking something in her face. After a long moment, he asked “And you’re mother?”

His tone was quiet and almost...seeking?

“Oira.”

The longing look in his eyes dissipated and he nodded. Almost sadly, as though he was disappointed in her answer. “Oira. Hm. I do not know that name. But I do remember Haryon.”

Nenani blinked. “Huh? You knew Papa?”

“And Halden in some respects, though I cannot recall ever speaking to him very much. He took his duties quite seriously, if I’m remembering correctly. They were junior members of the Thorn Guard.”

“Yes!” Nenani exclaimed excitedly. “He told he once that he was in the Thorn Guard. But I don’t know what that is.”

“Oh, whoa. Thorn guards?” She heard Jae whistle and glanced back at him to find her fellow human grinning. Behind him, Keral was expressionless, but his eyes were sharp and focused and she knew his interest had been peaked.

“Hayron is an old name that is fairly common among the Thorn Guard families. However, I only knew one Hayron with a brother named Halden. They were the sons of Captain Hayier.”

Nenani was quiet a moment. “I remember his sword. It had thrones on it. The one they think killed him.”

Barnaby’s eyes turned sad and empathetic and he sighed. “Your father was a good man. Dedicated to his duty and family. All sons of Thorn Guards were under immense pressure to perform and live up to expectations. Competition for high ranks was fierce and even being the son of the captain was not a guarantee of a rank. He earned his mark. As did his brother. I am sorry to know that fate was not so kind to him in the end.”

“So would that make her a Daelg?” Keral asked suddenly. “Or was it Daeleg? I was never much for studying all them Silvaaran Houses.”

“You had it correct, sir. It is Daelg. Unless there was another pair of brothers named Hayron and Halden in the Thorn Guard,” the archivist replied with a grin. “I would be most confident that you’re family name is Daelg.”

The name did not stir any memories and it felt foreign and odd. However, she was not nearly as curious in regards to the name as the revelation that Barnaby had known her father. She had questions now. So many questions. But mostly, she just wanted to know him more. It seemed forever ago that he died. A whole world away in another time. Another life even.

“So, she is highborn?” Jae asked, glancing between Barnaby and Nenani. “I don’t have to start calling her m’lady do I?”

Keral snorted into his drink and turned away to cough into his elbow.

“No, the Thorn Guards were not nobility,” Barnaby replied, amused. “They were in a caste all their own. Above merchants and below Nobles. Once upon a time, marriage between them and highborns was permitted, but it was almost always for a financial gain or the belief that the two would produce exceptional progeny. However it fell out of favor decades prior to the war and in someways expressly forbidden in the name of blood purity. The King and therefore his court were all obsessed with the idea of pure blood. The more pure the line, the higher chance that they would produce a mage of fire.”

“Fire Mages.” Keral added with a final and disdainful cough to clear the tea from his lungs. “Crazy bunch of inbreds.”

“So,” Jae asked. “Speaking of Mages and all that. What exactly is a smoke mage, then? If that’s what you think might be skulking around the countryside killing Vhasshalans.”

“It is an ancient variety of deviant magic. So rare, there does not seem to be any contemporary sources ever describing the existence of one,” Barnaby replied. “But when I was a lad, I was told that a smoke mage is a fire mage that sinned so greatly that the Gods stripped them of their blessing and their fire and leaving only the smoldering ruin of a person. Cursed to wander the world, creating chaos, and suffering in their wake.”

“Well,” Keral said, standing and stretching out his back. “Smoke mage or not, I’ll be needin’ more to work with than an old folk tale. I appreciate your help lads, but until we know more, the only thing to be done is to be out there scoutin’ and reportin’.”

“You’re going back out?” Jae asked. “You just got back.”

“Not tonight. I’ll be with the boys organizing the routes first. First light tomorrow, perhaps,” Keral regarded the boy with a lopsided grin. “Why? D’ya miss me when I ain’t here to hold yer hand, lad?”

Jae glared at the giant. “No.”

“Yer welcome t’use my room when I’m out if ya be needin’ a place to hold up,” Keral said. “Beats sleepin’ in them moldy tunnels.”

Jae glowered, his cheeks flushed. “No thanks. Your room smells like armpits. Besides, I like the tunnels. You bastards can’t go in after me.”

“Young master Jae,” Barnaby snapped indignantly. “I cannot condone such language. Least of all when a young lady is present.”

“It always amazed me how that for a King’s ward,” Maevis observed with a suppressed grin. “Your decorum lessons never have seemed to find proper purchase.”

“Warren does not keep me around to lick his boot,” Jae quipped with a shrug. “He’s got advisers and the court for that.”

Keral laughed. “Ah, well if ya changed yer mind about the room, the offer stands. Y’know the way in.”

The ranger gave his made his excuses and an apology to Maevis’s for leaving him with all the books to put away, but the magician wave him off.

“Nonsense. You never put them back in their proper place when you do feel inclined to return them, so it matters not. I know you have your duties to perform and would hate to keep you from them. I will let you know if I find anything that might be of use.”

With a grin and a wave, the ranger was gone.

#dumpling #Fantasy Story #Giant/tiny #Magic #Mages

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alukaforyou · 5 years ago

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and ALSO sry to post bs on main im mostly just talking to myself in my personal tag half the time so yolo, no need to respond to this or reassure me or whatever but these days i licherally question how much of my - sry to sound like a broken record - bs is dépression or just my shité mentality, like i rly was not designed to last, huh? physically or mentally? lol. like who gets motion sickness on swings lmao anyways. i think i give up too easily. theres a bunch of reasons y but i dont feel like saying. its a different thing to kind of kno something, and to admit / speak it (confront it). i could psychoanalyze myself all day and tell u exactly why some things are the way they are but its too unpleasant to neatly state stuff like that u kno?? like... *i kno* but im not gonna say i kno. anywho, i digress. so i give up easily and kind of have a defeatist mentality too, its so exhausting lool. actually its weird cuz duality of man, i'll be rly determined / stubborn abt doing some stuff and not care abt fear of failure with certain things but when it comes to My Life / My Future i just think i cant rly do anything? i mean that literally like i got no skillz *laugh crying emoji* not particularly good at anything, and art - the only thing im maybe arguably ok at - i dont wanna do as a career, that is art therapy for me i dont feel like commercializing it. not interested in working in my major, maybe things wouldve been different if i went to culinary or cosmetology school?? that sounds fun. or if i majored in bio cuz i was so good at that, or even if i majored in japanese language or literature or idk. but no regrets tho cuz i learned a lot abt drawing in art school which i can use for myself. and hmm i like staying home and not rly going out of my way to meet new ppl so connections what? i h8 hearing how most opportunities come through the ppl u kno cuz its true and ik like 10 ppl tops so hm very sexi of me :^) i just feel like im p much f*cked and it rly doesnt help that i have no functional dreams, goals, or aspirations nor the confidence and drive to work towards anything so ah ok cool. u kno suga's songs "the last" and "so far away" ? that p much sums up my feels minus the part abt having to deal w fame obviously LOL. its so easy being a student (for me at least) but being a good student isnt really worth a whole lot in the """""real world""""" and the current education system doesnt even rly prepare u for reality or w.e like Deep Sigh also the political climate rly lookin like shité out there like hmmmmm do i even wanna try so hard to be here anymore tho??? also going back to the self confidence thing, ya idk her LOOOOL like it doesnt very much bother me tho? i really, honest to god have no idea what my redeeming qualities even are. being nice? and my mindset re - tolerance and compassion for others, etc, ya im rly proud of that actually but besides that i mean like what can i Do tho like hm im not particularly good at anything also im hideous like uglee but thats ok too like none of this Bothers me, thats just literally how i Am so ok fine, but i feel like it makes it hard for me to exist in the world i happen to be in??? and i realize im speaking with a huge bias here cuz my brain is totally out of whack im p sure if some1 saw me / read this they would lit be like um u literally do not have it hard girl, which is fair ur kinda right actually from an objective pov, probably? its amazing how um. hard? of a time my brain is having given my relatively ok circumstances but thats just how it is ig. and if i may quote shakespeare - o full of scorpions is my mind. and its weird cuz duality of man - i actually have a lot of good times w friends and whatever i have a lot of fun, im not even very Sad or in Agony its all very a mild? sensation? but that might be because my plan b is to simply *** so nothing rly fazes me anymore lool.

its usually a v confusing emotion, im either feeling happy, or if not that, very ???? im literally that duwang quote get a feeling so complicated its just "ajdjsjsja" idk its not overly repulsive and upsetting im like :s LOL u kno wat at this point idek what im even saying anymore but its good that im writing whatever cuz im gonna need to look back on this later and organize my thoughts for presentation cuz remember i have a s.o now???? i wanna let them kno so we r on the same page, and i dont feel like im tricking them, i thought it over more and there are like 4? major cards i wanna lay out on the table early on and they are 1. im not that close w my family emotionally so do not seek their approval or expect to deal with them much. 2. personal ideology / political views like im bi lmao and pro lgbt if that wasnt obvious also i dont rly wanna be around racists / terfs etc and if ur right wing or not on that respect women juice uhhh bye.. 3. my weak ass mentality how i might Maybe *** in the future like no promise but errrr theres one more but its a little more negotiable and also too early to discuss so i wont mention it but i already got the first two outta the way so ya. theres the most troublesome of all, #3. the last thing i wanna do is traumatize someone that loves me (and i love back) with that kinda thing, its too late for my dear friends whom i love, sorry i didnt kno i was gonna be like this LOL yall already got attached but its a little different with my s.o cuz i feel like its not too late to uh.... stop getting as attached LMAO like dam i've known my girls for almost 10 years whereas i've only known my s.o for like a month.

and this is totally not gonna come across right but if my s.o very understandably desides to dump me id be SO RELIEVED LIKE WOOOO ok cool cuz like essentially what i'd be saying is you are getting attached to someone who's future is not as stable as other people, including u. *huge exhale* from the bottom of my heart, my bad lol. and then i probs wont ever get involved w. a s.o again, sorry to reference snk in 2020 but remember how e*win smith is single cuz he doesnt kno when he will ***? big mood. i have never acted out on my interests before but i was like ok for once lets go off the shits and do smth ooc, i uh... didnt expect for it to actually go anywhere tho so now im like ???? i shouldve thought it through more tho, like i felt low key irresponsible af and selfish and dumb for getting involved w. someone even tho i Know how I Am like...... Also i just lov being single and staying home and chilling alone lmao like i seriously...... never get loney....

ok so what was i talking abt? how the passage of time makes me nervous cuz idk how i can manage to keep up w it??? how i feel like i cant do jack shit???? that life is hard???? and maybe a bih just wants to rest? permanently?????? i think the most irritating part of all for me, like what i am most mad about at myself is that i have no dream. yikes. naruto, do u think thats sad? well yoongi said its okay, and what counts is just being happy, so i will console myself and forgive her and idk just try my best for the time being??

#.txt

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peakytoms · 7 years ago

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forgiveness~ tommy shelby

A/N: would you still be surprised if i said this was mostly smut. smut smut smutty smut smut, with just a hint of plot (just a hint since im a smut slut through and through). And i aint even the slightest bit ashamed. This lil piece (lel) features the great dommy tommy and if you got a dommy daddy fantasy then THIS ONE IS FOR YOUUU.

If you like (which i hope you doooo since i know i did) please lemme know, if you didnt....let me know that too but BE NICE THIS IS A RESPECTFUL FUCKING NEIGHBOURHOOD AND IM STILL SENSITIVE YA KNO?

Word Count: 6003!!!! 6003 words of mostly smut AND YES I KNOW ITS PROBABLY HELLA EXTRA @ nonnie SO DONT READ IF IT YOU DONT LIKE LONG AF SMUT PIECES (also who have noticed that my pieces get sunstantially longer and longer everydamn time i post?)

ENJOY!

It wasn’t unusual for Tommy to leave the city without telling you. Just as it wasn’t unusual that when he did, you would swear to the high heavens that you were finished with him and his antics. You knew that Thomas Shelby was not the most open man, but you thought maybe, maybe he would have the decency to keep you informed in what was going on in his life. After all, you were in his life, and when you were with him, he made you feel like you were a big part of it.

It was four days later when you heard he returned. The bastard probably too preoccupied with work to bother coming to tell you himself. You didn’t want to care that he was back. The man never bothered to think of you so why should you think of him. You didn’t want to care. But you did. Because no matter how insignificant he treated you 90% of the time, the 10% he did spend with you were the greatest times of your life. Never having felt as special as you did when you were wrapped in his arms.

You thought again to give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe it was some really urgent business, maybe he was kidnapped, held hostage. Maybe he was involved in a fight and lost his consciousness and his memory. You waited all day for Tommy to find you and give you an explanation. You waited and waited and he never came.

You were done with waiting.

The march toward Watery Lane did nothing to wane your anger or feelings of hurt. If anything your already strong emotions increased along the journey. You paused just outside the door to the Shelby residence trying to collect your thoughts so as not to forget any of the reasons you hated Tommy Shelby. With your head held high you pounded confidently and loudly on the door. It was only a few minutes before you could hear the tell-tale Tommy Shelby footprints descending the stairs from behind the frame. He was smiling as he opened the door, already knowing it would be you. However, the smile quickly fell from his lips after you marched straight inside the house without so much as a glance in his direction.

You made your way over to the living area, suddenly hit with a wave of nerves, no longer sure that you should be poking and aggravating the feared lion that is Thomas Shelby.

Feelings which quickly passed when you heard him clear his throat in annoyance.

“Have you not got anything to say?” You speak, trying to hold as much conviction as you can in your words, cursing yourself as your words cracked near the end.

In the brief hesitation of his silence you turn around to look at him. Shocked and hurt you watch him reach into his jacket pockets for his cigarettes and his matches, slowly inhaling the smoke and exhaling as if he had all the time in the world. As if your time meant nothing to him.

As if you meant nothing to him.

“You were gone four days Tommy? What? It didn't occur to you that maybe I would care to know where you were going? That you were going?,” you hurry the words out feeling your emotions starting to get the better of you. “What were you doing Tommy? Did it have something to do with Sabini?”

“It was business YN. And my business is not your concern.” He replied in a bored tone, taking another small inhale from his cigarette and letting the smoke slowly carry itself out of his mouth. His stupid and beautiful and irritating mouth.

“Not my concern,” you scoffed in disbelief. “Yes, well... what exactly can I be concerned about Tommy? I’m not allowed to know where you are half the time, not allowed to know who you do business with, I can't know what your business even is involved with! I can't know when you'll be around, if you'll be around… It seems that the only time I’m allowed to be concerned about anything to do with Thomas fucking Shelby is when he wants something warm to stick his cock into! You want a whore Tommy? You can find somebody else!” You scream out, surprised that despite the broken feeling you feel in your heart over what you just said your voice held strong.

“What the fuck did you just say?” He whispers back menacingly, finally making eye contact with you from across the room. “This is who I am YN! You knew that when you got with me. My business is my business, not yours. Coming here demanding what- that I tell you everything? Kicking off at me for BEING THE MAN YOU KNEW I WAS! You think I haven't got enough on?! Eh? Is that it? You think I haven't got enough on?! I’ve got my brother, the Italians, the Jews, the Irish, fuckin Inspector Campbell breathing down my neck, and what? Eh? You think I have the time to deal with all this? You want a fight, pick it with someone else, I dont have the time for your childish games.”

“Well don't worry Tommy, there's no need to deal with this anymore,” you said as you emphasized the space between the two of you with the wave of your hand. His eyes held yours, and as he slowly registered the meaning of your words they darkened with something that was different than anger, but undetectable all the same.

“Oh what?” he countered, his words and eyes hard as ice, “you gonna walk out that door?”

“Yeah Tommy. I’m gonna walk out that door,” you bit back, trying to hold your own under his intimidating glare.

“You are not fucking walking out that door Y/N.” His voice was a warning. Calm yet threatening. The aggression that was laced in his tone tantalizing, sending shivers racing down your spine to between the heating core between your legs.

“You gonna stop me Tommy?” you scoffed out with a laugh. Your eyes testing his.

“Oh I don't need to stop you princess. You're not walking out that door.” The manner with which he spoke was detached from any emotion, his voice as placid as ever, he face clear of any discerning expression. He kept his eyes on yours as he fished out another cigarette, lighting it up and inhaling it twice before he made any further move to speak. He held you there, frozen, as you waited for what was coming next. Knowing from the clench in his jaw, and the way he was fiddling with his cigarette that it would be a long night. He began to make his way over to you from across the room, walking slowly with the purpose to put you on edge...an effort at which he succeeded. “No...you see, you didnt need to come here tonight, but here you are. You wanted to come, and I’m willing to bet, that’s not the only thing you wanted by coming here,” he said slowly, each step bringing him closer and closer to you, forcing you back into the wall behind you. “Tell me why you came here tonight Y/N.”

Being in such close proximity to him was paralyzing. His scent overwhelming your senses, his steady breath fanning down across your face. Your mind became hazy as you tried to remember why and how you have ever been mad at him. His eyes mesmerizing any rational thought from your mind.

“I didn't come here to tell you any else than ‘fuck you’,” you dared, keeping your voice firm and chin high as you looked him square in the eye.

“Fuck me eh? Well...you could have just asked sweetheart. I would have been happy to oblige,” his lips quirked into a smile. A stupid and beautiful smile on his stupid and beautiful face. You wanted to scream looking at him—so beautiful and stupid.

“You know that’s not what I meant Tommy. God, I mean, you don't ever listen to me!”

“Oh I’m listening sweetheart. And you know? You almost had me. I almost believed you—coming in ‘ere, guns blazing, screaming at me for what? Not giving you enough...attention? That’s what you need right? Need daddy to give his princess some more attention? Hm?”

“Fuck you,” you spat out. The tone in your voice may have implied one thing, but the way that your back arched into him as he brought his face down to yours said another. Tommy kissed you with a hunger that could never be satiated, his mouth devouring your every exhale, his air the only one your could breathe. When he pulled away moments later he left you gasping, fighting against your lungs need for breath when you were desperate for more of him. You watched in confusion as Tommy took a small step away from you, his hands finding his cigarettes in his pockets and fishing another one out. He watched you under squinted eyes as he lit up and sucked back on the stick, purposely making your squirm under the intensity of his gaze. You could hear the embers of his cigarette burn with each inhale that he took, the smoke billowing out and fogging your vision along with your other senses.

“Oh how you frustrate me princess,” he began, sucking in his teeth as he spoke. His lips quirking back into that infamous small smirk of his as a hint of a chuckle escaped past his throat. “I am… I am a reasonable man. And I want to make sure that you are satisfied... that your needs are well-taken care of. I have treated you well, and yet, despite this, you flip me off—you disrespected me. Am I just supposed to give you what you want? Reward this poor behaviour you’ve exhibited this evening?”

You knew he wanted an answer. Knew that it would make for an easier night if you just opened your mouth and told him what he wanted to hear. But you were frozen. Held captive by the ice in his eyes as he looked at you expectantly. Bringing his hand back up to his lips, he took a slow drag as he waited, his eyebrows raising along with his impatience. Tommy reached his breaking point sooner than you expected, his free hand grabbing hold of your shoulder, pinning you against the wall on your stomach before reaching for your neck and squeezing lightly. The aggressive way he handled you frightened you just as much as it aroused you.

“You really think it’s a good idea to continue to test me? Do you not think you’ve gotten yourself in enough trouble today my little one? I expect an answer.”

His fingers loosened his grip as he waited for you so speak. You could feel him hardening underneath your ass, his hips pressing firmly against you to keep you in place. The delicious sensation of it all making it difficult for you to suppress the smile threatening to fall on your lips.

“I’m sorry daddy,” you whined, grinding your ass deeper into his hips, your body in wanton need of his. “I didn't mean to make you mad, I just–you were gone for so long, and I– well– I missed you. Missed the way you feel… please forgive me daddy.” Your voice was sincere as you continued to speak, hoping that Tommy would take some pity at the thought of how you struggled in his absence.

“Hmm… you poor little bird. I’m sorry to hear that, though you should know there are better ways of asking for my attention. Ones that don’t involve disrespecting me.”

“I know daddy, but this way was much faster. And...well… effective.”

The haughty laugh that escaped his lips made your lower lips quiver licentiously, the heat in your core burning with white light from the anticipation of what was to come. Tommy moved his body so he was level with your own, his mouth biting down into the space where your shoulder and neck meet, sucking back the skin with his lips. Making sure to leave his mark.

“Well princess, you’ve certainly got my attention,” he murmured deeply into your reddening skin. Tommy dragged his teeth along the line of your neck up to your jaw, kissing and sucking his way up to your lips. With your bottom lip between his teeth, one of his hands found your ass— a harsh slap raining down on your cheek. “Careful what you wish for little bird. Upstairs. Now.”

Tommy pressed hard against your ass for a second more before stepping back to allow you to move, wanting you upstairs as quickly as possible. As you turned to look back at him, his stare alone was worth any number of the punishments he was conjuring up behind his cold and hard expression. Your feet ran up the stairs without any further instruction, the anticipation over what was to come something that was tangibly evident between your heated legs. At the sound of his heavy footsteps behind you, you turned around, smiling devilishly coy at him as you walked up the stairs backwards, tripping a few times which earned you a few small smirks and chuckles from his lips. He caught up to you rather quickly, his strong arms enveloping you with ease as he hoisted you up over his shoulder. You squealed with glee at his exuberance as he threw you onto the grand bed that was in his room. Tommy sauntered over across the room, resting his body against his wardrobe as he waited for you to undress, a command which he gave with just a look in his eye in lieu of actual words.

Your hands made quick work of your dress buttons, knowing that teasing him would not be in your favour tonight... no matter how fun it would be. Tommy turned away from you for a moment, placing a record in the gramophone to let some soft music fill the room. You halted you movements in confusion, unsure of where he was going with this. Tommy was not so much of a music man— the gramophone in his room present only to humour you on the days he had kept you alone in his house while he went to work. Your eyebrow was quirked up curiously when he turned around to face you once more.

“I want to watch you princess. I want to watch you dance for me.”

You looked back at him in shock, the request that he made so far deviated from any of his usual ones. Even though he purchased and kept the gramophone for your use, Tommy has never seen you danced, never seemed to show any interest for that matter. A sly grin forming on his lips as he walked toward the bar he kept in the corner and poured himself a healthy glass of whisky in his glass. He moved to hand the glass over to you, gifting you his offering.

“Some liquid courage little bird?” he teased, his eyes growing dark as your hands slipped around his to grab the glass.

You licked your lips before downing the drink without a second thought, desperate for some more to further ease your inhibitions.

“Can I have another daddy? Please?” you asked, your voice small and sweet.

Tommy nodded curtly as he moved to sit on the edge of the bed. Walking slowly over to his private bar, you poured yourself another liberal shot and tipped it back your throat in one smooth motion. Despite how long you have known Tommy, you never really got used to the taste of whiskey—finding the taste much to astringent for your own liking. You refilled his glass once more for him before walking back over to the bed. He retook possession of the glass and settled in on the sheets, leaning back on his elbows and tilting his head for you to continue with his demand.

“Go on little birdy, start dancing.”

Willing the alcohol to work its magic, you closed your eyes and breathed in deeply. You felt like the room was spinning, though we're not sure if it was because of the alcohol or the embarrassment from the task at hand. Your hips started to sway side to side as soon as he cleared his throat in annoyance, obviously having grown impatient with your stalling.

Raising your arms above your head you turned your back to him, twisting your waist as you swayed your ass in his view. You could hear Tommy maneuver behind you, and as you craned your neck over your shoulder, you watched as he licked his lips and palmed himself through his trousers. His eyes clouded with lust, his mouth practically drooling.

“Take off the rest of your clothes darling, but keep dancing,” he muttered out absentmindedly, most of his attention focused on his throbbing cock that he was palming with his right hand while he tried to loosen his shirt collar and buttons with his left.

With the rest of the buttons on your dress undone, you shrugged the fabric off from your shoulders, allowing it to billow around your ankles before stepping out. Untying your brassiere and shimmying out of your knickers, you threw your intimates to where Tommy was on the bed, eliciting a low growl which turned to a chuckle to escape from his mouth. You watched as he grabbed hold of your panties, his fingers tracing along the lacy edges, inspecting the evidence of your desire you left on them.

He commanded you to touch yourself, his eyes widening with amusement at the sight of how your cheeks blushed red. You could feel the wetness seeping out through your legs as you cupped and massaged your own breasts. Where once you felt nothing but embarrassment, you now felt erotic and sensual, the hungry look in Tommy’s eyes spurring you on further.

“Would you care to join me daddy?” you asked, trailing your fingers down to where you needed them most.

His eyes drank you in but he made no move to get up or join you. You continued your frilly dance as you waited, turning back around away from him as he seemed to contemplate his next move.

“C’mere,” he commanded, his voice sounding as strong as ever. “On your knees.”

Blushing a deeper shade of red now, you sunk to your knees and crawled on your hands towards Tommy, swaying your ass slowly from side to side as he looked on ravenously. He removed his right hand from his groin and took off his shirt, letting his suspenders hang off the side of his waist before he moved to unbuckle his pants.

When his cock was pulled, you found he was already leaking, the tip red and beading with his pearlescent precome. You mouth opened as you reached him, the need to have him between your lips completely overwhelming. Tommy collected his desire with the tip of his thumb and leaned forward on the bed to slip his thumb on your tongue. You sucked on him ravenously, swirling your tongue around the tip of his thumb as if it were his cock. With his other hand, Tommy finished off his untouched glass of whiskey, discarding the emptied tumbler on the floor so he could harshly grab hold of your hair.

“I shouldn't even let you touch me after the way you behaved this evening. I should be teaching you a lesson, but christ Y/N, that mouth is just begging for it isn’t it? And you need this don’t you little one. Need daddy to give you some extra attention eh?” His voice and expression looked sweet and loving, his eyes and lips crinkling into a smile as he indulged you.

Nodding enthusiastically, you hummed around his thumb, Tommy swirling his digit around in your mouth as you did.

Pulling his thumb out with a wet pop, you spoke. “Please daddy. Please let me–.”

“Best get to work little girl, before I change my mind.”

Leaning forward, you took his hot cock into your mouth, humming with assent at the slick feel of his velvet skin against your tongue. As your mouth closed around him, you could hear his breath hitch aggressively, his teeth holding back the guttural groan threatening to escape. Leaning back on his left forearm, his right hand fell behind your head, guiding you however he wanted by the roots of your hair. Your own hands rested on top of his thighs, trying to push back as Tommy forced you to take him deeper.

“You will not fight me little bird. You asked for this remember? Don’t be ungrateful now.” His grasp was painful as he pulled on your roots, ramming the back of your head onto him again and again. You tried your best to relax your throat, to focus on your breathing, but Tommy’s ferocity gave little leeway for any of that. He wanted your mouth, and Tommy was a man who always gets what he wants.

Tears were filling your eyes as you looked up at him, humming a few grunts to get his attention back on you. As his eyes met yours, he loosened his grip slightly, allowing you a brief respite. Emboldened with the ferocity of your passion, you took your mouth off of Tommy, blowing cool air onto the wet mess you left behind. Tommy groaned out a frustrated laugh, his lips forming a grin that flooded warmth straight between your legs. You took him back in, gliding your tongue up and over his veined shaft before he did so. His hands find their way back to your hair, pushing you down once more with no time for adjustment. You throat began to burn as he shoved himself further in. Moans of desperation building but no room to escape.

“That’s it sweetheart, take it all like a good little girl. I bet you’re feeling extra special right now aren’t you?” he teased, his voice raspy and deep and delicious.

At the pace he was setting, it wasn't long before you could feel his muscles twitch under your tongue. His grunts coming out quickly as he fell down back on the bed, knowing you to be more than capable of finishing him off.

You felt it before you tasted him. The warm liquid spurting to the back of your throat in gushing bursts, the overflow oozing wetly against your tongue. Tommy strained to look at you, his orgasm prolonging as he looked at you with his come frothing around the sides of your mouth. Swallowing him back, you revelled in his taste against you tongue, making sure of lick up every last drop as it continued to spill from his tip.

“Thats it my girl...clean up the mess you made. Good girl.” Tommy moaned out, his voice still heavy and breathy from his recent undoing.

Licking up the sides of his veined manhood, you decided to take a risk, helpless against your own ego and wanting to tile him up yet again. Baring your teeth with a teasing smile, you grazed them lightly against his veined and aching skin. Tommy lurched forward, grabbing hold of your face harshly with his deft fingers. His eyes looked wild when they met yours, his own teeth dazzling bright against the animalistic smile he was wearing. An arrogant laugh came up from his throat as he pulled out of your mouth and slapped you across the face. The impact was not exactly hard, but it wasn't exactly soft either. Tommy knew what he was doing. He wanted you to feel him, to be reminded of his strength, his power, his dominion. He wanted to make you think twice about going against him again. But as you began to laugh in his face— taunting him— he knew you didn’t quite get the memo.

“Watch yourself little girl,” he warned, his voice as icy as his eyes.

“Make me,” you countered back, garnering another slap across your cheek, his hand exhibited far more strength this time than the last.

“Christ...you missed me that bad huh? You know, if you want something princess, you need to ask for it, I am a rather busy man.”

“Am I being bad daddy? Maybe you need to... punish me?” you said coquettishly, hoping that would be enough.

Another slap. This one hard enough to move your face even though his other hand holding your chin firmly in place.

Tightening his left hand even more around your jaw, his brings his head in closer, forcing you back up straight on your knees.

“I said you had to ask for it sweetheart. Now tell me... what is it that you want?”

Shivers ran down your spine as you looked at him, pooling the warmth of your desire down your core. With his hand still tight around your chin, his thumb traced the line of your bottom lip. Granting him access you pulled in his digit, holding his thumb between your teeth as you sucked. You pulled him out with a pop, kissing the tip of his thumb between sentences.

“You. I want you. And this hand.... And I want marks all over my body to remind me of you in case you leave me again. I want to be yours daddy. I want you to make me yours. Please sir.”

“Ask and you shall receive princess. C’mon, get up, lay down on the bed and let daddy take care of you eh?”

Giggling enthusiastically, you grabbed on to Tommy’s outstretched hands as he helped you stand and kept you stable on your stiffened legs and joints. Tommy moved you against the edge of the bed, laying you down on the stomach and spreading your legs apart with his foot, shifting your hips upwards with his hands to force your ass in the air.

“Count them out for me little bird,” he said before bringing his hand down on your bare backside, the sting of the impact instinctually tensing your muscles.

“One,” you moaned out, trying your best to wiggle your hips to bring some friction on you aching cunt.

When his hand came down again on the opposite cheek, you groaned out from the pain, each subsequent slap being counted out through gritted teeth.

“Nine–oh god...nineteen. Please daddy,” you begged, trying to find the strength of move one of your hands under your stomach between your legs, stopping when you felt his gentle caress trace over the reddening bruises on your arse.

“Yes my little bird?” he asked back, the smile audible in his voice.

“Help me daddy–please.” Given the position you found yourself in, you had no qualms over the shameful way you begged for him. You couldn't be bothered to think of what you must look like, sound like— not now. Not when you needed him as desperately as you did. All you could think about was the budding fiery sensation building aggressively in your core and nothing else. You needed him, and you didn’t care what you had to do to get him.

One more slap rang down on your skin, forcing a choking gasp out from your throat as you struggled for breath. Before you could count off this one, Tommy forced two fingers into your sopping cunt, thumbing your clit with small circles. With his other hand he held you down, stopping any chance you had of pushing back on his fingers to bring him deeper. When Tommy removed his fingers so soon after shoving them in, you cried out actual tears, struggling against his strong hand on your back as you tried to grab on to him.

Your mumbled moans became muffled as Tommy brought his two fingers to your lips. You sucked them back eagerly, mewling against him as your tongue swirled against him. When he took his fingers back, he replaced them with his lips, kissing you passionately and biting down on your bottom lip.

“Oh how I love you my sweet little bird. Always so good for me...So receptive. I’m sorry for not giving you the attention you deserve princess, but let me right that wrong now eh? Does that sound good angel”

“Oh God, yes daddy–ye–yes it does.,” you moaned out in a breathless whisper, too preoccupied by the thought of his cock deep inside of you to register the words ‘I love you’.

From the corner of your eye you watched him stroke himself with one hand while stroking your back with the other. Tingles radiating from his fingers where they connected with your skin, making your back arch up to meet his touch. You wiggled your hips eagerly, a desperate groan rolling off your tongue as you heard and watched Tommy spit onto his cock. He held himself against your entrance for a few excruciating moments— ever the tease that man.

“Is this what you want little bird? Hmm? Is this what you’ve been waiting for ever since I’ve been away? My cock here inside of you? For me to fuck you?”

He slowly began pushing in, exhibiting impressive control considering how easy it would have been to just slide right in to your sopping cunt.

“Yes! God daddy please, please let me feel you. I want to feel all of you please!” you cried out loudly, your breaths coming out in short, hard pants— you were a bitch in heat.

“Oh you’ll feel me sweetheart. You’ll feel me tomorrow, and the day after that, and the next day. You won’t be able to spend a second this next week without feeling me…”

Trailing off, he pushed in, sinking deeply into you with a guttural groan. Tommy wasted no time as he began pounding into you from behind, his balls slapping against you ass from his vigor. Even though you were laying down on your stomach, the ferocity with which he fucked you sent you bouncing on the plush mattress. Hands gripping tightly around his expensive bed sheets, you tried to push back against him. Needing him deeper— harder. Needing everything he had in every single way he could give it.

Tommy was grunting loudly behind you, digging his hands into the skin of your hips hard enough to bruise you even more, his fingernails leaving large half-moons all over your waist. He knew you were close, hell he knew you were close long before he was even inside of you. Your body tensed up from the minute you walked through his door, desperate and yearning for some relief.

One of his large hands moved across your back as your upper body started writhing beneath him. Bending slightly on his knees, Tommy changed the angle of his thrusts— gasping audibly out at how your body clenched around him as a response. Your screams were filling the room as Tommy kept hitting you from behind, the sounds bouncing on the walls as you came around him. The violent pulses of your orgasm roaring through your body to every single one of your nerve endings. Tommy did not let up, his thrusts never waning even as you clenched and yelped around him.

You were struggling with your arms behind you to touch him, to feel him in some way to ground yourself back down to him. With your hand splaying wildly behind your back above you, Tommy grabbed one. Using his grip on your hand, he flipped you over, sliding out of you far more easily than he slid in. Tommy held you tight against his chiseled chest, quickly finding his way back into your cunt and resuming his pace. With one hand holding your weakened body, he used his other to hold your face up to look at his, demanding that you kept your eyes on his as he fucked you.

Despite his previous confession, there seemed to be no love in the way that Tommy claimed your body with his. His darkened pupils bared no affectionate glow toward you but only a possessive dominance. He fucked you like you were his toy, one of his dolls, but it didn’t matter, so long as you were his.

“Oh god daddy…,” you moaned out. A soft exhale that was but a whisper in his dimmed bedroom. A pledge of submission that echoed loudly off the walls, reverberating back to his ears and to his cock.

Tommy moved to kiss you, his lips hard and rough against yours as his rhythm became more erratic, his legs starting to shake under him. He took everything you had to offer him— your breath, your moans, your tears, which had begun to spill from your eyes from both the exertion and the delicious painful pleasure you were experiencing this moment. Pulling away from your gruffly, he brought his hand back down on your face— the unexpected slap dragging your attention back onto him from the transfixed haze you were falling in.

“Look at me princess. I want you to watch my face as I come inside of you. Keep them open sweetheart,” Tommy said through strained grunts, trying his best to stave off his own undoing as he waited for you. His free hand grabbed hold of one of yours, pushing it down to where your bodies met, knowing even in your blissed-out stupor your primal instincts for pleasure would take over.

Without seemingly any conscious effort, you started manipulating the hot bud at the apex of your thighs, bringing you closer and closer to the edge of another orgasm. Tommy was practically drooling as he watched. His eyes shifting down from your own to the spot your bodies met— watching you as you desperately pinched and rubbed against your swollen clit, your body practically limp and lifeless were it not for his arms holding you up.

The warm pool inside your core suddenly became a flash flood as Tommy wrapped your legs around his waist, granting himself access to drive even further into your body. He held you tightly as you convulsed around him, his eyes wild as they forced and maintained contact with your own. Frantically thrusting into you, Tommy suddenly stilled, milking around her walls. Despite how high you were, you were still able to savour the feeling of his warm seed jolting within you, still able to notice and feel the way his body twitched inside you as he came.

“Christ girl, fuckin’ hell,” he groaned out.

Tommy fell forwards on top of you, your spent bodies collapsing down on the edge of the bed. His teeth bit down on your shoulder as he finished coming inside of you, grunts quietly subsiding as soon as he kissed his way up to your lips.

“You're mine Y/N. All mine,” he murmured gently into your lips, his body still attached to your own. “And I’ll make sure you never question that again my sweet girl. Daddy’ll always take care of you.”

“Hmm, thank you sir. ’m sorry for before, I shouldn't have yelled at you the way I did... forgive me daddy?”

“Nothin’ to forgive you for girl, I should be the one apologizing. I took you for granted. But I’m going to make up for it now sweetheart...if you’ll let me.”

“I don't think I can go again daddy…” you trailed off, your voice coy as can be. Your hands finding his hair and gently massaging his scalp with your nails.

“Oh yes you can my girl, you can't deny a man seeking forgiveness can you?. Plus my tongue has missed you, am I’m fairly confident you’ve missed it as well.”

“Well I guess if you put it like that…”

Using what strength you had left, you tried to push his head down, meeting resistance from his much stronger body.

“Give me a minute little bird. You've worn me out just then. I’ll start my atonement soon don’t you worry”

Tagged: @prettieparker86 (if you want to be tagged just lemme know and I’ll try my best to remember!)

#im not too happy with this ending since i just kinda dropped it #but i was at 6000 words and felt like it was time #plus i was dehydrated wink wink #omg kat stop being inappropriate #tommy shelby #tommy shelby imagine #tommy shelby smut #tommy shelby x reader #peaky blinders #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders smut #SORRY FOR IT BEING SO LONG BUT ALSO IM TOTALLY NOT SORRY #call me satans slutty mistress #satan is my daddy

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sadb0ysims · 6 years ago

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THE SIMSELF TAG featuring yours truly and her wonderful assistant, antoinette

1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? mia and thats all ur getting out of me

2. WHAT IS YOUR NICKNAME? oh god we have some embarrassing ones but jordan and jords are nicknames of mine and u might be able to guess the other obvious ones dgjhfdj

3. BIRTHDAY? february 25th babey

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK SERIES? OH uhh princess diaries by meg cabot probably

5. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ALIENS OR GHOSTS? not to sure about those funky alien dudes but ehh yeah i believe in ghosts

6. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE AUTHOR? i’d say michael morpurgo but that’s probably because his books were shoved down my throat at an early age DKJDFGJ if you can have a favourite poet i can answer this: atticus and lang leav

7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE RADIO STATION? radio one probably!!

8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF ANYTHING? the purple one. like, starburst? purple. wine gum? purple

9. WHAT WORD WOULD YOU USE OFTEN TO DESCRIBE SOMETHING GREAT OR WONDERFUL? being the millenial i am probably Uh...li...litty

10. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT FAVORITE SONG? OH Hm i’d say ocean eyes by billie eilish

11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE WORD? Hm!

12. WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO? copycat by billie eilish!!

13. WHAT TV SHOW WOULD YOU RECOMMEND FOR EVERYBODY TO WATCH? LIE TO ME IS THE UNDER APPRECIATED SERIES OF THE CENTURY

14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE TO WATCH WHEN YOU’RE FEELING DOWN? oh uhh i don’t watch films a lot and especially not if i’m feeling?? sad

15. DO YOU PLAY VIDEO GAMES? never heard of them

16. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR? OH jesus lets say. being forgotten or making no difference in the world

17. WHAT IS YOUR BEST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? oh Jesus not a lot of these GJFDH over the past mm month or so i’d say i’ve grown a lot as a person in the fact that i have more respect for myself than i used to, and if i have an opinion on something i evaluate it and decide Do People Really Need To Know? (DPRNTK)

18. WHAT IS YOUR WORST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? EASY my weird. defense mechanism thing. i’ve gotten a bit better in my opinion but the reason i’m usually in so much trouble is because as soon as i’m attacked, i act with anger? its some weird defensive wall that i put up and regret later because i’m not really thinking like a rational person. i just see that i’m being attacked and my first thought is to fight back

19. DO YOU LIKE CATS OR DOGS BETTER? OH cats because i haven’t had one in ages. one of our cats was run over and the other was taken by our neighbours and now he doesn’t even remember us or respond to his name so thats really fun

20. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? SUMMER because my skin turns olive in the summer and right now. a bitch is pale! also school is so much nicer in the summer... the whole yeargroup feels like much more of a community because we all sit together outside n it’s just overall very fun and makes me nostalgic of year 7

21. ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP? bitch u really thought-

22. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU MISS FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD? still in it but. because of a lot of things i was forced to grow up very fast. something i miss is having everyone in the house (my siblings are both a lot older than me so they’re never around) and not having to worry about fitting into certain stereotypes or WASHING MY HAIR!!!!!

23. WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND? oh god ok so i have a “best friend” but we don’t. agree on a lot of things and she takes everything i say 100% seriously so even though we’re not close i’d consider this group of boys from my school my best friends. and online ofc i have Many Many good friends which i would name but i dont wanna leave anyone out bc i talk to A Lot of people DGHDFJ

24. WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR? blue blue blue

25. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? blonde babey

26. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU LOVE? my brother

27. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU TRUST? would say myself but sometimes i’m not even sure i can trust HER

28. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? i think about people loads because im a lonely romantic so. i’d say Love Interest and i think about myself a whole lot too like who does this bitch think she is

29. ARE YOU CURRENTLY EXCITED ABOUT/FOR SOMETHING? all the time i’m looking forward to things bc. not a whole lot happens in my life so if Love Interest looks at me a certain way i’ll look forward to going to school for the next couple weeks FDJGHFDJ

30. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST OBSESSION? i think of the future way too much. she’s a dreamer

31. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW AS A CHILD? oh god uhhh i used to cry at in the night garden all the time when it ended bc i hated that iggle piggle sailed away on his boat DJHFD it was probably still my favourite though

32. WHO OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER CAN YOU TELL ANYTHING TO, IF ANYONE? i had a best friend who moved away after year seven and i feel like i could but. who knows we haven’t seen each other for years

33. ARE YOU SUPERSTITIOUS? sigh i think so like does it count if my tarot deck says not to do something because. i trust those tarot bitches with all my soul if i have one

34. DO YOU HAVE ANY UNUSUAL PHOBIAS? don’t like the dark, i have a fear of holes, can’t sleep without the door open, can’t sleep when i can see in a mirror (fun fact theres a mirror in my room but it’s on a shelf which i can barely see at night like. i can see a glimpse. but knowing it’s there freaks me out so its flipped and has something covering it)

35. DO YOU PREFER TO BE IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA OR BEHIND IT? oh ummmm in front i guess because 1. i look horrible in photos other people have taken of me 2. technically being in front of it. you can still take selfies and 3. the people i know take pictures from really weird angles

36. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HOBBY? we love a bit of vidya games but i love reading poetry because i’m a whore and also i like singing but that doesn’t mean im good at it!

37. WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? UHHH god i really dont read uhh probably lullabies by lang leav

38. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? romeo and juliet (the blessed one featuring young leo dicaprio)

39. WHAT MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? i can play the guitar, the recorder, a bit of the piano

40. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL? GIRAFFES it’s really sad that they’re now endangered. if ur talkin domestic pets i love guinea pigs, cats and (i’ve never had them but rats

41. WHAT ARE YOUR TOP 5 FAVORITE TUMBLR BLOGS THAT YOU FOLLOW? don’t. this’ll turn into a follow forever and i won’t get any clout bc it’s in such a long post !

42. WHAT SUPERPOWER DO YOU WISH YOU HAD? OH hm. i thought as hard as my tiny brain could about this and i think teleportation would be interesting but if we can choose ANY superpower. is magic one? that’d b pretty wack

43. WHEN AND WHERE DO YOU FEEL MOST AT PEACE? when i’m walking to school at half 7 in the morning and no one’s there and i can hear the trees lining the field rustling in the wind in the distance. it was rainng this morning and even though my whole ass was exposed from the wind and i was soaking it was really peaceful. also there’s a red kite that’s resident to our school field and i love to stand there in the morning and watch it sometimes

44. WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE? feeling included DGJHDJ doesn’t happen a whole lot

45. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? i play a lot of sports because i’m in school obviously but i’m really good at rugby bc a bitch is Tactical and Nimble. i love hockey and badminton and stuff though

46. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DRINK? i LOVE smoothies and milkshakes and everything ugh. i’d be bold enough to say i love drinks more than i love food. like apple juice orange juice MIXED juice smoothies BROWN BAG MILKSHAKES! BITCH! THE STRAWBERRY ONE IS SO GOOD UGH

47. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A HAND-WRITTEN LETTER OR NOTE TO SOMEBODY? oh jesus um. 4 years ago

48. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? fuck yeah brother

49. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? UGH A LOT OF THINGS like. people biting their nails. people tapping their foot on my chair. people not listening when you’re explaining something THEY needed help with. tapping a pen on a desk or clicking it on and off

50. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A CONCERT? nop

51. ARE YOU VEGAN/VEGETARIAN? my mother is a vegetarian so i eat a lot of vegetarian meals. sometimes i get really put off meat but like. a bitch is 13 and doesn’t pay for her own meals so she doesn’t really get a say in what she eats

52. WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE, WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP? always wanted to entertain people and be nationally recognised. take that as u will

53. WHAT FICTIONAL WORLD WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE IN? TOO MANY let’s go... the arcana so i can marry the 1 (one) love of my life dr julian ilyushka devorak... chill in the hanged man’s realm...

54. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WORRY ABOUT? i don’t worry about a lot not gonna lie to u

55. ARE YOU SCARED OF THE DARK? cheers i’ll drink to that broe

56. DO YOU LIKE TO SING? if the screeching sound i make to a slight tune counts as singing then. yes

57. HAVE YOU EVER SKIPPED SCHOOL? not illegally but i’ve had days off sick where i wasn’t sick bc i couldn’t be asked

58. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE ON THE PLANET? alone

59. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE? somewhere safe

60. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? yeah i have a dog and a cat but as i said m cat got taken by my neighbours and doesn’t even remember us so sjfhdjg

61. ARE YOU MORE OF AN EARLY BIRD OR A NIGHT OWL? night owl but if i’m rested well enough i love being up early

62. DO YOU LIKE SUNRISES OR SUNSETS BETTER? sunsets

63. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE? no a bitch is 13

64. DO YOU PREFER EARBUDS OR HEADPHONES? probably headphones bc i can’t lose them and the sound quality is better but i’m not a MONSTER so earphones. also headphones automatically make old people scoff at u and hate u more

65. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? nah

66. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC? whatever’s poetic enough to be On Brand

67. WHO IS YOUR HERO? don’t really have one

68. DO YOU READ COMIC BOOKS? no

69. WHAT MAKES YOU THE MOST ANGRY? the holier than thou attitude Often showcased on simblr by some. familiar faces

70. DO YOU PREFER TO READ ON AN ELECTRONIC DEVICE OR WITH A REAL BOOK? it doesn’t really make a difference

71. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? computer science (mainly for the people because right now we’re just making fucking. powerpoints) or english bc of the people again

72. DO YOU HAVE ANY SIBLINGS? yee a brother and a sister

73. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? christmas presents and some perfume & a purse for me

74. HOW TALL ARE YOU? 5′4

75. CAN YOU COOK? not well

76. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU LOVE? attention DFJHGSDJ uhh being kind to people who deserve it and hard work paying off

77. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU HATE? patronization, people who believe their opinion is the only opinion and people who cause minor inconveniences for you for no reason

78. DO YOU HAVE MORE FEMALE FRIENDS OR MORE MALE FRIENDS? more female probably but i prefer guys

79. WHAT IS YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION? i say bisexual but no one’s ever been close enough to let me find out

80. WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE? party in the UK

81. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TEXTED? kyla rosymiel

82. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? UHHH i really can’t remember i know me and kyla were talking about something and i started crying JGFHDGJ

83. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE YOUTUBER? oh god umm probably smii7y but i also really like all his friends like. kryoz etc

84. DO YOU LIKE TO TAKE SELFIES? when i look good FJDHSJD

85. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE APP? would say tumblr but she’s gone ! right now i’m really feeling zepeto bc It May Be Tracking Me but it lets me take pics with all my online friends and i have some sort of weird following on there SDFHSDJ

86. WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENT(S) LIKE? i don’t think i’ll ever be able to fully confide in them, i really like my dad but there’s elements of him that don’t really float my boat. same with my mum but i’m less close with her

87. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOREIGN ACCENT? probably australian or. is it swiss? might be swiss.

88. WHAT IS A PLACE THAT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO, BUT YOU WANT TO VISIT? france and ofc america

89. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 4

90. CAN YOU JUGGLE? with like 2 things skdghsd

91. ARE YOU RELIGIOUS? not really but i believe in a higher power of some sort and a life after death. i believe there’s something out there that is listening but i prefer to think it’s the stars

92. DO YOU FIND OUTER SPACE OF THE DEEP OCEAN TO BE MORE INTERESTING? i find the ocean really ineresting but man will always romanticise space

93. DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE A DAREDEVIL? im a 13 year old white girl how ruthless can i be

94. ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING? sesame seeds

95. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? nop but everyone else in my family can

96. CAN YOU WIGGLE YOUR EARS? nope

97. HOW OFTEN DO YOU ADMIT THAT YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT SOMETHING? whenever i realise

98. DO YOU PREFER THE FOREST OR THE BEACH? forest

99. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIECE OF ADVICE THAT ANYONE HAS EVER GIVEN YOU? it’s better to ask for forgiveness than permission

100. ARE YOU A GOOD LIAR? i lie all the time but i am. SO terrible ASJDFHJ i would love to lie less but it’s so easy to slip into one

101. WHAT IS YOUR HOGWARTS HOUSE? gryffindor

102. DO YOU TALK TO YOURSELF? hell yea brother

103. ARE YOU AN INTROVERT OR AN EXTROVERT? kyla put ambivert so i looked that up and. yeah

104. DO YOU KEEP A JOURNAL/DIARY? did when i was younger but i guess tumblr is somewhat of a personal diary

105. DO YOU BELIEVE IN SECOND CHANCES? depends

106. IF YOU FOUND A WALLET FULL OF MONEY ON THE GROUND, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? turn it in most likely

107. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE OF CHANGE? “yes, but you should never forget about their past” thanks kyla

108. ARE YOU TICKLISH? only monsters aren’t

109. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A PLANE? nope

110. DO YOU HAVE ANY PIERCINGS? i have my ears pierced. WILD i know

111. WHAT FICTIONAL CHARACTER DO YOU WISH WAS REAL? UGH FUCK DR JULIAN ILYUSHKA DEVORAK!! it’d be illegal for him to marry anyone but me though

112. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS? yep! i have a tattoo on my back. i plan on getting a lot more tattoos in the future, but i don’t want anymore in the near future

113. WHAT IS THE BEST DECISION THAT YOU’VE MADE IN YOUR LIFE SO FAR? being outspoken and not. watching things pass by

114. DO YOU BELIEVE IN KARMA? of course

115. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES OR CONTACTS? nopee

116. DO YOU WANT CHILDREN? oof i really don’t know because of what’s happened to me i don’t know if i could knowing i could never protect them from everything. idk pregnancy seems very nice but once the kid gets annoying thats It for me

117. WHO IS THE SMARTEST PERSON YOU KNOW? “i think everyone is smart in their own way” thanks kyla

118. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MEMORY? i started laughing once in drama and i pissed myself a lil and i was like ehh thats fine i do that all the time and then i didnt stop pissing and someone was like ‘whats that wet on the floor? they were like mia have u pissed urslef i was like nOSDJF so i had to ask the teacher to leave. u coiuld see the piss down my leg

119. HAVE YOU EVER PULLED AN ALL-NIGHTER? have u SEEN these bags. she’s seen hell

120. WHAT COLOR ARE MOST OF YOUR CLOTHES? like varying tones of beige and then grey/black

121. DO YOU LIKE ADVENTURES? of course

122. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON TV? oh uhhh i feel like maybe when i was younger but i’ve. repressed that memory if i have it

123. HOW OLD ARE YOU? 13 years young

124. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE? oh jesus something poetic and by atticus probably let’s see

after spending more time searching for a quote than i did on literally this whole tag, i decided on this. and then i realised. it will always be ‘YOU ARE A SAD BOY’

#the last one was abt food #but i thought the quote was a nice finishing touch #sadb0ysims #ask game #?

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19possums-blog · 6 years ago

Text

On tianshan relationship and their fandom, i guess ?

hello there @nightfayre !! Im the 5asks anon lol (the one abt the last chapter of tianshan). I wanted to thank you for your answer and continue to rant in your askbox but i figured it was so long that mb it would crash ur box lmao, so I... kind of created a blog..... hm. well theres no bad reasons to create an account is there lol ?? (also is there no way to send a long ask ?? why is it so limited :(( )

So once again thank you for anwser, and what an answer ! You raised many points i didnt think about and that was very interesting. I knew i would be glad to hear your thoughts ! the rest under a read more coz i think its going to be looong lol

(( To do a sort of disclaimer : I despise fandom discourse and im more of the mentality “let ppl enjoy what they want as long as it dont hurt real life ppl”, and “dont like dont interact”. So everything im going to say is not an attack against anyone, but just a way of prolonging a manhwa that i like. Most of all, i want to emphasize that at the end of the day, its just a manhwa : it doesnt justify being mean or aggressive towards other real life ppl. If you find yourself raging while reading fandom wank, just stop reading, block, and go outside a little. My way of enjoying the manhwa is to be analytical, to criticize (positively and negatively) and to look at the material source as well as the fandom in itself ; if its (understandably lol) not your definition of fun, this post may not be for you !))

Ur totally right in saying that the hardest thing is separate morality, reality and fiction. I hope my asks didn't come across as a 'u shouldnt like tianshan bc its not morally good'. There is a lot of puritan push back on tumblr lately, and im totally against it. Everyone is free to like/ship what they want ; reading only ‘morally good’ literature wont prevent you to become a nasty person - i would argue itd be the exact opposite, as your spirit wont be trained to think critically or to evaluate a situation (and every situations is always grey) by your own means. Also, its important to separate fantasies/what you like to read and who you are/what you do. To be embarrassingly honest, and like many people, one of my sexual fantasy is rape ; but in my real life, im in a queer anarchist collective that actively fights against rape culture and defends rape victims. That is why i dont have a problem with SheLI/Mo shippers (or even HeCheng/SheLi shippers) even if its not my cup of tea, but i would have a problem if in real life (irl) ppl would say to irl Mo that irl SL is good for him (or if they wouldnt find it wrong that a irl 30yo Cheng is involved wt an irl 15yo Li). I digress.

But then again this confusion about fiction/reality/morality is at the core of the tianshan fandom -and many fandoms. I dont know about you, but i grossly see 3 types of ‘trends’ depending on how ppl interact with the source material :

1.The ones who think you cant like something while being critical of it. I love 19 days but I think there are flaws in it, beyond tianshan dynamic (like how OX handles the transition between funny and dramatic moments –I think its badly done). It doesn’t mean I personally hate OX and wish harm to their family oc. Worse than this, the ones who, because they dont like certain things in 19 days, feel free to harass OX on their social media. Here its a confusion between fiction and reality and a lack of critical thinking.

2. the ones that loves Tianshan because they think it fits the trope “Dark, handsome, tortured violent boy who is violent towards fragile, sweet, pure cute boy because he loves him” and the typically associated trope “the pure boy will change the violent boy by the pureness of his heart”. Aka the most common yaoi trope. Again, if it pleases people to see Tianshan like this, good for them and i hope they have a nice time reading 19 days. Lets face it, I love really bad yaoi and books. Its just not how i see tianshan at all, but to each their own. I just have a problem when these ppl insist that its an ok behavior to have in real life and say things like “possessiveness is a proof of love” uncritically (hint : it isnt). For me, its the difference between enjoying fast food (thats okay), and wanting to force everyone to eat fast food and to find it pleasurable (not okay).

3. the ones that think what you like in literature defines who you are, and so in order to be a “good person” you have to only like “morally good litterature” -there are the ones I personally find the more interesting bc they can ask good questions. But alas, in most cases its just puritanism badly disguised and currently they are in all fandoms. Lets not delve into the issue of this statement : what is ‘morally good’ ? who are in the authority to proclaim what is good ? how can you recognize what is ‘morally good’ if you dont see what is ‘morally not good’ ? is it literature’s responsibility to educate its audience ? do literature have to point out “watch out audience what just happened is not okay” as if we were brainless children ? whats more important : what you like reading or what you do irl ? .... Okay i totally delve into this lmao. Here its a confusion between fiction and morality and a rejection of critical thinking : we could say its like when the Catholics prohibited women from reading bc it would pervert them and think of the children).

Returning to the specifics of what we've been talking about : so in this last case, you (generic ‘you’) think that you are a good person ; so you have to read morally good literature. So in this case, fandom isnt just a harmless hobby, but a proof of how you are morally good, imagine the stakes ! But alas, you happen to like 19 days and most specifically tianshan. You said (@nightfayre ) that you judge Tianshan unhealthy as they are now, and i wholeheartedly agree with you, so im not going to discuss why since you already explained it so well. So, what happens when you like a morally not good ship, but you think liking morally dubious things makes you a bad person ? You bent over backwards to explain that, in fact, this ship is morally good, to protect your integrity. And thats why, in 19days fandom since the last chapter (and its the same thing with every chapter where flaws of HT are revealed!), there are many posts going around “hm, in fact, what He Tian did is good ! i know it can seems like hes a violent asshole who dont respect MGS because he punches him, threatens him, and dont listen to him, but hm.... in fact its because he’s nice...” and then they do mental gymnastics to justify what is, obviously, not morally justifiable. And i find its a pity because, my guy, my buddy, nobody is going to throw you tomatoes if you like a morally dubious character, and also bc nothin is morally good ! everybody does what they think is the best in ‘problematic situations’ ! and thats what make life interesting ! and so, 19 days interesting ! The flaws of HT (and MGS) are what drawn ppl to his character, bc it makes him real, its makes him contradictory, we can project ourselves in him, and we can see a complicated character with awesome latent potential. And yes, treating someone like a territory bc you care about them is a flaw lol. (on this subject : i saw ppl saying that its protectiveness and not possession : if you protect someone like you would protect a territory, then its not a healthy protection. you deal with a human whose agency you must respect, contrary to a territory).

MGS and HT are the product of what happen to them in their early childhood and then their adolescence. Like you said, they grow up in a violent, twisted world, where being emotionally distant is the norm. I would even say that they are expected to conform to the standards of (toxic) masculinity : channel all your emotions into anger, caring is being weak and feminine, prove your worth by your physical strength, be in control in all ur relationship, etc. I would say thats why Mo is so hostile towards HT : HT challenges his masculinity, by seducing him (everyone know that the biggest fear of macho men like HT and Mo is being considered gay -_-) and being stronger than him. Lets face it, Mo has kind of a homophobic issue, like all the boys. Between JY who tells HT its disgusting being told hes handsome by a man (at the beginning of the manhwa, i hope by now he had grown out of it), or Mo who tells HT he isnt happy that a guy is on his bed or who desperately wants to prove his heterosexuality by saying he likes all cute girls to his baldy friend... HT is more nuanced, but at the end, when he ‘seduces’ Mo, its always predatory. He doesnt let himself being vulnerable and he aggressively touches Mo even without his consent. For me, its a way of proving his domination, not his interest (and when i say that, i dont mean that HT is not genuinely interested in Mo -just that his actions dont translate this). ZZX is the only one who seems to have a healthy relationship with his masculinity lol, but then hes the healthy one in all aspects (thats why i dont like his character and am not invested in zhanyi, even if irl i would love to be his friend).

With all that being said, oc HT wont know how to adequately express genuine concern and interest in Mo ! This sort of social interactions is not something you just know, its smth you learn. And in HT and Mo’s cases, nobody was there to teach them -we could even say that ppl in their life made them unlearn caring behaviors. So HT does what he does best : he fights and forces, and is surprised when Mo thinks (obviously) HT is evil. And also, like you said, Mo will never be (at least how he is now) a driving force in their relationships bc he will always run away from bonding with ppl. So here we are, HT being the only driving force in their relationship, the same HT who only knows violence. No wonder that their relationship is like this...

As it is, i feel like tianshan is kind of in an impasse right now. One or the other is going to have to evolve if we want to see their relationships changing. Either HT learns how to care without being violent (seems complicated if Mo doesnt challenges him, bc HT isnt going to realize this without feedback since its how he has always functioned), or, more likely, Mo is going to be honest with him and tell him that his behavior is hurting him. Though more probable, I dont see it happening anytime soon : for one, Mo isnt capable of seeing when he is hurting emotionally and what is hurting him ; and also, bc Mo doesnt know any other language than violence, not unlike HT. I think its smth most of the fandom ignore, how violence is smth that HT and MGS both have in common, and how if HT wasnt violent, MGS certainly wouldnt consider him at all.

Anw im excited to see where OX is going with all this ! Like you said, the forced kiss was pivotal to their relationship, so im kind of hoping it would be the same here ! I just hope they wont... do like usual and just put a funny chapter and ignore this latest development.....

OMG i wrote soo much and there is so much i still want to say.... i think im going to do a second post... sorry about the spam lmao

( @nightfayre : i dont know how this site works yet, is @ you alright ? will it show you my post in your notif or should i send an ask ? bc i want you to see my answer, but i dont want you to feel pressurized to respond or interact or anything !! above all dont feel pressurized, i was sad last night when you wrote ‘im sorry to not answer more quicly’ bc you should answer at your own rhythm or not answer ! your blog is a hobby, not an obligation, so dont feel bad to not do more when yo already do much !! )

#19days #19 days #tianshan

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8147 · 6 years ago

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reading hamlet for the first time (act 5: the finale)

masterlist

none of you told me it was going to be this painful . none of you.

a5s1

“Ophelia’s dead.” “Enter CLOWNS!”

Like im sure this has a different meaning in EMA but im gonna make fun of it because it’s fucking hilarious. (future (present? (now past once more (?))) antares coming back to say i did look at nfs and yeah theyre gravediggers)

“First Clown: What is he that builds stronger than either the mason, the shipwright, or the carpenter? Second Clown: The gallows-maker; for that frame outlives a thousand tenants.” damn not even just this one quote but these are some depressing clowns

hamlet and horatio!

okay there’s something about all of hamlet’s skull talk that makes me uneasy. like, not even the topic, just something in the words and how earnestly and (pardon my pun) gravely hamlet’s speaking about this. and it’s almost a mournful tune, too. it’s a huge difference from his “we’ll all be eaten by the same worms” speech to the point that it’s almost haunting.

“HAMLET: I will speak to this fellow.” C O N F R O N T

“HAMLET: I think it be thine, indeed; for thou liest in't.” (incomprehensible scribbling)

HAMLET, NOT IN ENGLAND: oh yeah lol he was sent to england huh u know why lmao

wait. did the. did the pirate situation get resolved. before act V.

I mean i think hamlet mentioned something about three years but the pirates are so fucking glossed over like what the fuck

“First Clown: 'Twill, a not be seen in him there; there the men are as mad as he.” HOLY SHIT ROAST THEM JFC

“HAMLET: Let me see. (Takes the skull)” THIS IS THE SKULL SCENE! I fucking KNEW it was bullshit that holding the skull was in the to be/not to be speech. I saw it being presented as such like once or twice while reading and I KNEW IT

hm okay so hamlet picks up this guys skull, of someone he used to know, and sure maybe i could ignore the “those lips i have kissed” but then he goes on to mention alexander the great and i mean come on

but jesus like i feel like im not doing justice to the stuff hamlet’s saying. just, the gravity of it all. Its kinda hitting home a bit hard bc like ive had a crippling fear of what happens after death and being forgotten etc since i was like in fourth grade and this is @ing that phobia

like, with that julius ceasar thing. “O that that earth which kept the world in awe / should patch a wall to expel the winter flaw,” it’s so strange. like, every fucking human who has lived, whether they be emperors, murderers, inventors, peasants, or philanthropists- as long as they weren’t blind, they’ve all looked at the same sky. like. It doesnt matter what the fuck you did or didn’t. It’s wild.

“First Priest: No more be done: We should profane the service of the dead To sing a requiem and such rest to her As to peace-parted souls.” hey i get that there are cultural taboos around suicide but like this guy’s a dick it isnt even clear if it was suicide, like, she was so fucking crazy she might not have even known she was, y’know, in a lake or w/e

laertes, dude, my guy. maybe jumping into a grave is cosmic foreshadowing for something you don’t want to happen to you. js.

“HAMLET: [Advancing] What is he whose grief Bears such an emphasis? whose phrase of sorrow Conjures the wandering stars, and makes them stand Like wonder-wounded hearers? This is I, Hamlet the Dane. (Leaps into the grave)” hamlet is NOT one to be out-extra’d (posting-antares here to say, wait, ‘whose phrase of sorrow conjures the stars? is this my aesthetic-speeches-summon-ghosts theory? probably not, but i havent mentioned it for a while)

“LAERTES: The devil take thy soul! (Grappling with him)” IN A FUCKING GRAVE. THEY ARE FIGHTING. IN A GRAVE.

all because hamlet doesn’t want to be out-extra’d. my god.

“QUEEN GERTRUDE: This is mere madness: And thus awhile the fit will work on him; Anon, as patient as the female dove, When that her golden couplets are disclosed, His silence will sit drooping.” Ah yes gertie just talk about the distraught and angry madman as if he isn’t there. that’ll diffuse the situation.

You know what? We still haven’t discussed the pirates.

a5s2

“HAMLET: So much for this, sir: now shall you see the other; You do remember all the circumstance?” If this isn’t gonna be about the pirates im gonna. scream.

“HAMLET: My fears forgetting manners, to unseal Their grand commission; where I found, Horatio,-- O royal knavery!--an exact command, Larded with many several sorts of reasons Importing Denmark's health and England's too, With, ho! such bugs and goblins in my life, That, on the supervise, no leisure bated, No, not to stay the grinding of the axe, My head should be struck off.” god, though. imagine that. being exiled to another country by the person who killed your father, only to find out that they were going to have you killed, anyways. that’s fucking terrifying. jesus christ.

Damn this idea that pretty handwriting is ~beneath~ nobles confuses me so fucking much. I got called haughty once just because my main handwriting is cursive. I mean, they were right, but their evidence was circumstantial at best.

“HAMLET: That, on the view and knowing of these contents, Without debatement further, more or less, He should the bearers put to sudden death, Not shriving-time allow'd.” Hamlet’s Revenge.

but also, what the fuck, dude. two wrongs dont make a right.

damn i kinda lost myself while reading but it really doesn’t sound like hamlet’s insane anymore. Like he’s… tempered himself. he doesn’t feel insane, just solemn.

“OSRIC: Your lordship is right welcome back to Denmark. HAMLET: I humbly thank you, sir. Dost know this water-fly?” goddamn ROAST HIM HAMLET (also what a fucking mood)

Osric put on your fucking ha--

The wind is

The wind is northerly

“HAMLET: No, believe me, 'tis very cold; the wind is northerly.” I remember someone saying that this is important

Okay here: “HAMLET: I am but mad north-north-west: when the wind is southerly I know a hawk from a handsaw.”

oh no

Osric just wear ur fucking hat u doof

“OSRIC: Exceedingly, my lord; it is very sultry,--as 'twere,--I cannot tell how. But, my lord, his majesty bade me signify to you that he has laid a great wager on your head: sir, this is the matter,-- HAMLET: I beseech you, remember-- (HAMLET moves him to put on his hat)” excuse me a WAGER

but alas all hamlet cares about is osric’s fucking hat

“HAMLET: What's his weapon? OSRIC: Rapier and dagger. HAMLET: That's two of his weapons: but, well.” hamlet u sarcastic little shit i love you

I mean so is horatio. I love him too.

This stuff with the competition is. not gonna end well. not at well.

“HAMLET: I do not think so: since he went into France, I have been in continual practise: I shall win at the odds. But thou wouldst not think how ill all's here about my heart: but it is no matter.”

hamlet no. listen to your heart or whatever. jesus christ don’t do it.

“HORATIO: Nay, good my lord,--” HAMLET LISTEN TO HORATIO

Ohhh hamlet

okay reading what laertes said, you know what? i’m giving laertes one last chance. please do not prove me a fool, laertes.

everything is giving me mad anxiety. e v e r y t h i n g.

claud’s speech is insanely sketchy

“KING CLAUDIUS: [Aside] It is the poison'd cup: it is too late.” One, so that’s why it was sketchy. Two, the POISONED CUP?

IT’S TOO LATE?

Gertie’s. Dead.

Shit, shit, shit

“LAERTES: [Aside] And yet 'tis almost 'gainst my conscience.” YES! SO PLEASE! STOP FIGHTING!

“LAERTES wounds HAMLET; then in scuffling, they change rapiers, and HAMLET wounds LAERTES.” Oh no oh no oh jeez eheu they’re hurting each other, shit, fuck,

“LAERTES: ...woodcock…”

“KING CLAUDIUS: She swounds to see them bleed. QUEEN GERTRUDE: No, no, the drink, the drink,--O my dear Hamlet,-- The drink, the drink! I am poison'd. (Dies)” one, i love how claud is desperatley trying to stick to the plan, its almost adorable in a childish sort of way. two, oh god. ohhh god. gertie.

Oh no.

this is the bloodbath. THIS IS THE BLOODBATH.

BODY COUNT: 1

“HAMLET: The point!--envenom'd too! Then, venom, to thy work. (Stabs KING CLAUDIUS)” ...

BODY COUNT: 2

wait and hamlet’s on death row, as with laertes. Oh no.

“LAERTES: He is justly served; It is a poison temper'd by himself. Exchange forgiveness with me, noble Hamlet: Mine and my father's death come not upon thee, Nor thine on me. (Dies)’ oh my god already??? I haven’t even really accepted king claud’s death?? jesus christ??

My friend just sorta nudged me and asked if i was alright and i. I’m not. i’m in shock. goddamn. what?

BODY COUNT: 3

goodness thats three in like less than thirty seconds JESUS CHRIST

“HAMLET: Heaven make thee free of it! I follow thee.I am dead, Horatio.” that’s chilling. just, the poignancy. that’s so fucking spectral. i’m not okay.

“HORATIO: Never believe it: I am more an antique Roman than a Dane: Here's yet some liquor left.” No no no on no nononon NO NO oh my god are you going to-

“HAMLET: As thou'rt a man, Give me the cup: let go; by heaven, I'll have't. … If thou didst ever hold me in thy heart Absent thee from felicity awhile, And in this harsh world draw thy breath in pain, To tell my story.” hey i’m crying in study hall. i’m actually crying. what the fuck. I don’t cry unless i’m thinking about that one pair of 18th century shoes with the really good photo quality (transcribing-antares here. I fucking love those shoes. I’m looking at them right now and they’re so fucking beautiful. they look how velvet feels, which is odd, bc they're apparently silk. I don’t care they’re just so fucking lovely)

F O R T I N B R A S?

“HAMLET: O, I die, Horatio; The potent poison quite o'er-crows my spirit.” I’ve identified my emotion. Dread. pure, unadulterated Dread.

for all of you that’ve listened to the penumbra podcast: do you remember the concierge, right before final resting place, saying “you do realize you can just like, leave, and everything will be hunky dory and you won’t have to deal with the emotional consequences this episode will bring you” because i’m seriously considering doing that right now.

“HAMLET: The rest is silence. (Dies)” shit. (posting-antares here to say that i forgot to do the body count but honestly im crying while formating because of this goddamn fucking 400 year old play)

“HORATIO: Now cracks a noble heart. Good night sweet prince…” oh god. horatio.

“Good night sweet prince…”

(yet again tis transcribing-antares here to say that im fucking sobbing right now, the shoes are no match for this, and ‘goodnight sweet prince’ is actually never going to leave my head.) (editing-antares here to say im fucking crying again god fucking damn it) (posting-antares back again saying that this fucking line. this line. my god.)

“HORATIO: What is it ye would see? If aught of woe or wonder, cease your search.” oh, horatio. god. that isn’t something said without tears staining your skin and a bitter tone hard-won, not that its possession is a victory.

oh my god. this can’t. no. this can’t end like this. What. no. people must have rioted. No. no!!

i typically hate it but i would GLADLY accept a deus ex machina right about now!!

okay my friend just took my phone away from me and shut it off because i kept on trying to scroll past the end

jesus christ

okay so i’m not going to be okay for like, several eternities, so im going to play the sims until i. until i die, probably. my god.

masterlist

#shush antares #antares reads hamlet #thE PIRATES WERE NEVER ADDRESSED #also im crying but im STILL ANGRY #mostly in shock tho

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byler-n-harringrove · 7 years ago

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Halloween Night (Byler)

Hello everyone! I am so sorry for not posting for very long, school has just started and it's my final year before uni, so it's ramping up and im finding little time to write between school, work and family? ;( I am so sorry, and I will be doing the best I can to keep up requests and keep this moving! The reuqest is: @aspiringlampturtle Ok oh my gosh hi ok so do you think you could write a lil one shot where the party is trick-or-treating and byler sneaks off (for whatever reason) and they end up confessing to one another?(maybealittlesmooch)? Uhh bonus points if El has a girlfriend but that's not necessary and also I love your writing also maybe something with Dustin just frikkin eating so many 3musketeers? Anyway love you bye thanks

_______________________________________________

Halloween was always the best time of the year for the group, all the candy they could eat, a sleepover at Mike’s and a sugar coma that would last them the whole weekend. They were lucky this year it fell on a Friday meaning they could gorge out for the whole weekend and start a new campaign Mike had written with a Halloween horror twist.

This year their theme was Star Wars. Mike was going as Han Solo, Will was going as Luke Skywalker, Dustin as Chewbaka and Lucas was going as Darth Vader. The girls, on the other hand, we're going as two different versions of Leia, not knowing what else to wear. It had taken the boys a whole month to nag the redhead to wear a matching costume with her girlfriend, but she has finally caved in when Jane had given her girlfriend her puppy eyes.They are all 17 now, it has been years since all of the worries of the gate, and they were living fairly normal lives.

Something that they didn’t expect was Jane and Max hitting it off, soon coming out with one another and started dating roughly a year ago. They were adorable, Lucas was a bit sad, but when Mike realised that their group didn’t care about sexuality, he decided to tell everyone he was bisexual (which he explained to them that he liked both boys and girls). It came out weirdly, one time they were playing DND, but it didn’t change them as a friend group.

But what he didn’t tell them was that he was crushing hard on his best friend Will Byers.

But, back to Halloween, because Mike was startled when he heard a knock on the door. That would be his friends. He quickly dashes to the fine before his mother or father could, flinging the door open to see all his friends in their costumes, all handmade of course, with Will standing at the front of the group with a warm smile. That smile was already causing butterflies in his stomach.

“Ready to go and get some full-sized chocolate bars?” Will asks, grinning.

It was the first Halloween that Johnathan hadn’t actually been told to follow Will trick or treating, even if he never truly did, so it was almost a celebration of Wills independence and strength. Mike nodded, leaning down and grabbing his pillowcase which he had left beside the door.

“Let’s go! See you Mum, Dad! We’ll be back soon!” Mike called over his shoulder before shutting the door, the group leaving the front yard and started to hit up the surrounding houses before making their way down the street. Before they left the front lawn, he heard a shrill yellow of his mother reminding him to be back by 9, which he always was without fail so he simply rolled his eyes as they took off down the street together.

“I can believe, just like always, we got more 3 Musketeers!” Lucas whined loudly as they left the lawn of another house, a couple streets over from the Wheeler’s residence. No matter what year and the group's hopes, they always seemed to get the same chocolates from the same houses, but that didn't falter Dustin of course.

The group dumped the chocolates into the curly haired boy's pillow sack, Dustin then fishing out the other chocolates and goodies he had gotten and given them to the others in fair trade. “You guys just haven't gotten a good palate yet, it comes with my stunning good looks after all” Dustin jokes, wiggling his eyebrows and doing his ‘famous’ growl, causing them all to scoff and wave him off.

Mike and Will were travelling at the back of the pack, something they tended to do together whenever they actually were together (so all the time). Mikes eyes continued to glance over at the brunette boy with the bowl haircut, admiring how the street lights gently glimmered in his mud brown eyes as they walked in stride together. Will had decided to skip wearing a blonde wig, as it made his skin turn to a rash, so they had a brown haired Luke Skywalker walking the streets in their group.

But tonight, tonight felt different for Mike. Something in his gut was telling him that there was something in the air, something that was making him gravitate ever stronger towards his Will, it was a gentle hammering of his heart, he felt that maybe, just maybe, Will felt the same way.

Maybe tonight was the night he could try and admit his feelings to the other male, on the greatest night of the year, standing there in their Star Wars outfits in the night where they didn't have to be themselves and they could be whoever and whatever they wanted. It could remove the stress, remove the pressure of having to be straight, it was a night they could express themselves.

So, in Mike’s gut, he knew tonight was the night and he wasn't going to let the opportunity slip through his fingers so easily without taking a shot.

As the other made more distance from Mike and the Will, the taller and curly haired male wrapped his pencil-like fingers around the others narrow wrist, Will looked up. Slight shock and confusion flashed through the boy's eyes, a small tilt to his head further to the side in confusion.

“Is something wrong Mike?”

Something about the boy’s voice was always able to make Mike quiver, but as he shook his head, a small smile reached the taller boys lips, he tugged at Will’s wrist softly as to pull him towards the park they were just about to pass. It was quiet, it was not very well lit so no one could identify them, and it was somewhere Mike could feel himself comfortable about coming out about his feelings.

“Nothing, just, I need to tell you something. A secret” He explains as their feet hit the woodchip, making soft crunches under the boots of their costumes as they walked towards the swings. Hm, how poetic.

Sitting down, Will took the other swing as if by instinct “Are you okay? Something, something hasn't happened has it? I'm sure you could have told me in front of the others…” Will starts to question in both interest and worry.

The other shakes his head, giving a small shadow. For some reason, he couldn't help but found Will’s concern for his well being quite cute, but he felt like it was a sign, or maybe he was just simply reading into the boy too much and it was just Will being a good friend. “I'm promise I'm not dying or anything Will. Its something, I need to tell you first before I could even think about telling anyone else”

Will simply nodded “Well, my all ears. Your best,best friend, I will always be there for you” He explained, pressing his feet against the ground slightly to causing him to slowly swing on the seat.

Mike felt his eye fall downcast as he also found very hard to swallow at that point. What if this all backfired on him, what if Will didn't want to be friends with him anymore because he felt too awkward about it? Would it rip their friend group apart because of it? No, no he couldn't let these stupid fears get a hold of him! He needed to do it now before… Before someone else was lucky enough to scoop Will up from under his nose.

“Mike?”

It snapped him out of his thoughts immediately, causing Mike to look over at the boy beside him and finally swallow the lump in his throat. Just as always, even in the dim light of the playground, worse than that of the street, but he could still roughly make out the boys slowly sharing facial features, those eyes and that bowel cut he was never seeming to grow out of even in his late teens.

“I love you” He sputtered.

Finally! He was able to get the words of his chest before another worry could enter his mind and force him not to. Mike was staring straight into the other boy's eyes, not breaking eye contact as he was simply too scared to move in case he would startle the other boy before he could even reply.

There was silence for a moment, it hung over them both and Mike felt like he was going to choke on his words if he didn't at least get some type of answer form the other boy because waiting here in suspense was killing his poor little heart.

“I love you too Mike…I just never thought you saw me that way” Came Will’s quiet and small reply, causing Mike to let go of a breath he hadn't realised he was holding while waiting for the other to speak.

Moving forward slowly, as to yet again not try to intimidate or scare Will, Mike found him kneeling in front of Will, who was sitting on the swing and slowly pressed his rather colossal palm against the boy's cheek and slowly curled his fingers around his cheek to accommodate to his jaw and hairline.

Will was smiling, from what Mike could make out, and as he gained enough courage to lean in and finally seal their lips, he knew Will was smiling as he could feel the curving upwards of his lips pressed against his own in the soft, gentle and innocent kiss. It seemed to last more than a few seconds for Mike, but as their lips finally moved away again, the ravenette kept his hand pressed firmly against the others cheek as he let out an airy sigh of relief. Will joined soon after, slinging his arms lazily over the other's shoulders.

“Well, I would love to say “I know” “ Mike stated, trying his best to impersonate Han Solo’s voice which caused another giggle from the other male “But I’m happy I finally got the guts to tell you. After all, best friends, don't like do they?” He didn’t know whether or not to call Will his boyfriend or not.

“Boyfriends don't lie, Mike”

Will said suitably, grinning now, the sparse light bouncing off his pearly whites in the dark night like Mike’s own personal beacon. His own little savour in the waves that was their crazy and hectic life. Nodding, their foreheads gently rested against one another as they fell into a silence, enjoying each other's small embrace and company.

“Will, Mike wh- Found them!” A familiar feminine voice called out, and the boys quickly looked up to see that Jane was standing there a couple meters away from them, soon enough the whole group seamlessly popping up behind her, all eyes kneely trained on the two boys. They both were a bright red (not that anyone could really notice) as their friends started.

“Totally Tubular” Max stated, causing the others to all look at her before the whole group burst out laughing together, moving over to the playground itself and simply all messing around, starting to open their candy. It was a silent acceptance of Mike and Will’s new found relationship, and it meant the world to him.

They sat there together, eating chocolate and lollies sitting on the swings, facing away from the street and shrouded by darkness, fingers interlocked tightly as they smiled, watching their friends and each other.

Yep, Halloween was definitely the best night of the year.

MASTERLIST

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