#hm much to ponder
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thinking i might be able to write my essay for my intro to cultural studies module about a tma episode (i’m not sure which though?) or mechs album👀 i have to analyse a cultural product referring to certain concepts we’ve learnt about and i feel like it’d be so much easier if it’s something i love rather than just like. a random advert
#the concepts are: cultural identity. gender performance. race/ethnicity. representation. discourse. hegemony. and orientalism#and i only have to use two or more of them#so i feel like tma and the mechs would both be good for that#i have some other ideas knocking around but preferably one of those#need to think about which tma episode would be best though#cos the examiner needs to know what i’m analysing so i feel like i can’t do a broader thing that spans more than maybe two or three episodes#cos that’d be harder for them#so i think they’d tell me it’s too broad#hm much to ponder#also pls if anyone has suggestions of tma episodes i could use i would be delighted#tma#the magnus archives#magpod#the mechanisms#the mechs
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I love having adhd I love RSD & my other symptoms actually!!!! They’re good!!
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/0c5127e8c25a5121e95b7b0d36cd0990/03fea29a72fea10e-54/s640x960/dadc523f8e7103a904c93b687dc933e990459e9b.jpg)
#look i'm#just a little miffed that we're told this in an AMA and not like... during a conversation with lucanis#since this was apparently important enough to warrant 'consistent discussion' and q&a clarification but not enough to feature in game#spite is mentioned during the final romance scene. ONE throw away line could've established his absence then and there#'spite and i can play cards or something' says rook#and instead of the line about wicked grace lucanis could've said something like#'he left to play with the wisps. it's just us. it's /been/ just us.'#(which is still a little. hm. since spite controls the wings. the wings were out at the start. kissing someone is v much a form of intimacy#(so TECHNICALLY. john. you're a bit wrong. but whatever)#I say this as someone tired of being told The Correct and Intended Way of interpreting characters and stories from devs/producers/etc latel#whether you want spite involved or not to any degree (and you deserve respect whatever your preference btw)#would it have been so bad to keep letting people read between the lines and have their own interpretations?#because it big sucks to see artists and writers feel creatively nerfed by a fucking reddit AMA#anyways. this will not stop me from pondering how spite exacerbates lucanis' catholic quilt complex.#don't let it stop you from doing your thing either#lucanis dellamorte#da:tv
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the only things that matter in life are boobs and killing the rich
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forgot to share my twst OC Joona. figured he'd probably be in Pomefiore dorm!
-he's mid-to-late 20s -he's nicknamed Jojo by some, Junebug by Fel occasionally -figure when he came in through the mirror Crowley heard he just finished up his degree and was like "Great! you can teach here np" -so he's forced to do art classes part time at the school -_- not that he doesnt enjoy it but man.. -on top of that he probably still forces this guy to take classes all over again (thus the uniform) -havent decided if i want him to be completely magic-less or to have a very small amount u-u -unironically think him and Vil would be great friends, but they'd have a white girl wednesday incident at least once (probably when he hears him and Leona talking 😭) ive got to make a relationships chart later! -he majored in art but he has a minor in mimery. like actually. -he can talk his way into getting 98% of things if you let him but often chooses not to. he could if he wanted! -he has a strong resting face and monotone voice at times so i believe major expressions of emotion from him can sometimes startle others -Joona has a fairly rich background and parents that spoiled him and his siblings as long as they worked hard and didnt 'waste their time doing things half-assed and leaving things unfinished' end quote -he's got a mild soft spot for kids even though he's always sure they'd dislike him for having such a stoic face. he's the guy who doesn't quite know what to do when they start swinging on his arms -fondly calls Epel, Riddle, Ortho and Ruggie his 'lil cousins' -he's exclusively an older brother/parental figure to Gidel!
i love playing dress up with him so youre just going to see him in whatever amuses me
#my art#twst#twisted wonderland#twst oc#twisted wonderland oc#joona#twst fanart#fellow honest#ernesto foulworth#twst fellow honest#fellow honest twst#twst ernesto#fellow#i need to scrounge up the energy to actually. finish the comic i have of them. just more joonafel stuff in gen#i have a lot of wips of them but nothing to show... hm..#havent decided his nationality fully yet btw but my boy is caribbean of course u-u his name is finnish but idk if id want him#to be part finn. cuz im trying to think of him living in twst world. or at least a fake fictional earth and i dnt think his family wouldve#lived there. theyd more likely have moved away IF i did go that route. but also they couldve just found the name pretty yknow#i dont see him having a severely strong accent either. codeswitching aside.#hmmmm much to ponder!
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yearning. yearninggggggg. heart achingggg, eyes watering
#signed fawn#filled with melancholia and yearning#want to be loved#to be known#sometimes i think i have so much love in my heart that is never going to be returned#hm#much to ponder
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*species I have thought of and rejected: nautolan (already have one of another color), rodian (already have one of another color), gamorrean (not vibing rn), twi'lek (not vibing rn)
#hm i should make an original post tag#my issue with doing a mirialan is that it will require sooo much time searching references to try to do a good enough outfit design#my issue with doing a mikkian is that tentacles are kinda annoying as hell to draw#i was also kinda considering doing a miraluka hybrid (i blame lee ofteasandherbs).. which would be very interesting with either option#because for a mirialan it's extra adornments i could create. and for a mikkian it's a guy who 'sees' with tentacle senses. both interesting#.... while this poll goes on i shall ponder creating a guy of this other (relatively green) eyeless species i found while trying to find o#out what the eyeless human species was called (I forgot the name was miraluka)#(and god the search function in wookieepedia is kinda abysmal innit..)
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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Oz (TV) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Miguel Alvarez/Carmen "Chico" Guerra Characters: Carmen "Chico" Guerra, Miguel Alvarez (Oz) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Era, Post-Canon, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon-Typical Attitudes, Rough Sex, Power Dynamics, Possessive Behavior, Time Skips, Biting, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Character Study, Angst, Mild Blood, Some Humor, Dubious Consent Summary:
…Or, 5 times Miguel bites Chico, +1 time Chico bites Miguel (twice)
#oz hbo#miguel alvarez#chico guerra#ummmmm so yeah LOL#*was* inspired by merelyafigment talking about miguel biting chico (in a much more fluffy context) but ahaha. Hm.... (ponders the orb)#hbo oz#my fic
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is anyone else thinking about aro rui too much tonight that they might throw up or is it just me
#jay does a think#tomorrow i can either. go through all the rui related stories and make a list of every single thing mentioned that he has invented#or actually start my aro rui essay that has been rotting and collecting dust in my drafts since october#hm. much to ponder on
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Hello, can we pls talk about this ✋️
Diluc gets a boner if you call him big sis
GEHGRJGFFEGD tbh he gets a boner if u call him big bro too but big sis does admittedly get to him faster. I’ve yet to post it but in another anon I’m goin into detail abt like. How he has this feminine air to him and he is aware of (and frankly comfortable in but . like I said I’m still chewing on the whole Diluc And Gender thing) said air so. Having that metaphorical string tugged on does strange things™️ (Extra Horny) to him that gives him an Embarrassed Boner (this goes like. Quadruple if he’s your actual big brother in some regard LMAO)
#tw.incest#tw.stepcest#tagging as both in this instance bc the last line could be read as either/or#HEE SO.#thinking abt this + how massive a menace Kaeya is if/when he finds out too. ohhhhhhhhh that’s dangerous#hm. much to ponder there#diluc 🌟
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wanted to change my avatar but didn’t know what to change it to so i was just gonna draw a generic something and then i switched my ipad on and remembered why i never use it (it is old and awful) so i’ve had to go to my default. random sky photo i have taken at some point relatively recently.
#desperate for a newer ipad and an apple pencil#mine’s like 9 years old#it loses its battery so fast and it hates me#and an apple pencil would be so much easier to use than the pen i have😭#think i might actually try and upgrade this year#cos i’ve been thinking about it for ages but was like mm but is it worth it#but i think it would be now cos besides art i could also use it for taking notes in lectures and seminars#so my notes would be more organised cos i can just write them into folders rather than having to do that organisation afterwards#hm much to ponder#bookworm talks
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gender experiences
1. being called "sir" in a brief exchange by a teacher in 6th grade and spending the rest of the day asking the rest of my class (who i knew didn't like me) what seemed boyish about me (framed as "can you believe...?" but actually wanting to hear and know)
2. being called "little [retail store] boy" by a customer in passing
3. thinking more than once to myself in middle school/high school that life would be easier in the inner sense if i were a boy
4. and more 👍
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yknow, if i have nothing else, i got the martin kove video essay waiting for me to make at the end of the year when i finish all of his movies. hehehehehe.
#i also realllly wanna watch cagney and lacey but idk who to watch with? :(#tfw the person you watch all your tv with doesnt wanna watch old tv from his childhood/early adulthood (PLEAAAAAASE DAAAD)#WATCH CAGNEY AND LACEY WITH MEEE PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEAAASE#or maybe we can save martin's TV ROLES for a different essay?#hm. HMMM.#much. 2. ponder.#bird musings
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a lot of times when i get stuck with my art idk which direction i want to take it in, which makes it harder to figure out what is bothering me
#ama mumbles#have to ponder it#maybe i should try doing the more lineheavy style i used to do for a bit?#idk idk hm. much to ponder#i should also actually do anatomy studies but god. torturous
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just remembered a friend describing my anxiety as “severe” the other day n i still don’t know how to feel abt it
#marzi speaks#i’m one of those. i hate this term but don’t know a better one#‘high functioning’ types of folks#and i mean. the GAD went undiagnosed for 17 years so#i’m at the very least good enough at masking to fool ppl into thinking the anxiety isn’t that bad#but. i guess some of my stuff could be considered severe#the agoraphobia i had after lockdown was lifted was for sure really bad#i remember making plans with friends and being really excited#and then day of i was so stressed i threw up and had to tell my friends i couldn’t come#bc i was just. too ill. from anxiety#i felt nauseous every time i left the house for a good couple months after that. managed to convince my body i wasn’t gonna die eventually#i guess that qualifies as severe even if i handled it relatively well. hm.#i have a hard time gauging that sort of thing. i’ve been like this my whole life so it just feels normal to me#i don’t know what the ‘standard’ level of anxiety is in any given moment#is it 0?#bc like even when i’m hanging out it sits at a 3/10 i think#i’m only really at 0 when i’m really relaxed and/or high#much to ponder
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Why does pussy mean coward when penises litterally get shy?
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