#hlv: one shot

[neoninky]

TWST One-Shot: "Courtship" (Indigo Cerith)

Hello readers!

I'm back with yet another one-shot of our dear Indigo (yet again lol), however, this one connects directly into the story of 'Her Lost Voice' - so it's more like a side quest/backstory type situation.

For any new readers, I recommend reading this story before continuing the main plot with Chapter 15. It'll just make things way less confusing lol. Enjoy!

Two weeks had passed since Indigo's final scuffle with his brother. In that time, just before the dust could truly settle, an invitation from Don Muraeni himself darkened the door of the Leech House. 

Indigo watched Proteus enter the main hall with his signature smug grin and his remaining brothers in tow, flanking him like well-trained guard dogs. The elder two kept their eyes forward and on the Leech muscle that flanked Indigo and Don Leech himself. Only the youngest of the three looked at Indigo but only for a quick guilt-ridden moment.

"What do you want, Proteus?" Don Leech didn't bother with any pleasantries, "Your boss sure took his sweet time gathering his thoughts. Or is he sending the rest of his brood to join his eldest in the ground as an apology?"

The two elder brothers hissed and snarled at the Don before Proteus chuckled and waved a hand to quiet them, "Now, now boys. Remember your manners. We are visitors in the esteemed Don Leech's house and he cannot be blamed for his gruff tone. Your brother left us all in a very awkward position..." 

The electric ray merman gave Indigo a sharp look that sized him up. It wasn't clear exactly which brother he was talking about in that context, Indigo or Ventuno. Proteus continued to speak to the Don directly, "I wouldn't dream of offending or wasting your time any further, Don Leech sir. We merely come with a message from my own, most apologetic boss."

"I'm sure..." Don Leech sneered, "Out with it then." 

"Don Muraeni wishes to meet you with and young Master Seven in person on mutual grounds to establish peace and to put all this nasty business behind us. In light of the folly our Ventuno has committed, Don Muraeni hopes to build the Muraeni household anew with Seven taking the lead."

Indigo's eyes narrowed as he weighed Proteus' words. None of his brothers looked surprised or moved by them whatsoever. Don Leech snorted dryly and crossed his arms, "Is that so? First of all, if your lot really wants him to return to that hellscape, I'd stop calling him 'Seven' like he's some stray you lost." Indigo glared with a challenge in his eyes directly at his father's right hand, "My name is Indigo Cerith. I won't answer to anything else. Give me one good reason why I should even consider coming back."

The smile widened on the ray's face as if Indigo's declaration was the exact thing he had been waiting for, "Glad to hear it and honestly, young master...I'm so glad you bring that up..."

-

He felt...sick. It was hours after Proteus issued his father's invitation, but Indigo's head wouldn't stop spinning with conflicted adrenaline. He was alone in his room, no idea what the hour was just that it was dark out, and any sounds that came from the outside hallways echoed dull and muffled in his ears. 

"Your dear stepmother will be so happy to hear you've kept the name she gave you all those years ago..."

No... "Just as happy to see how much you've grown, I'm sure. With that in mind...I do hope you accept your father's olive branch." No...was she really...? Indigo felt every emotion he had frozen away for years break loose and overwhelm him. He hid his face in his hands and tried to repress them back again but all he could do was let out a frustrated sob. Junonia...his mother...she was alive? All this time?! Had he known-  Had he known....another sob ripped from Indigo as he realized his father and Proteus' plan. The truth was that had Indigo known Junonia was alive and trapped in his father's clutches, he never would have left. Indigo would never leave her there to suffer alone. Deeper into the mansion, Madam Leech lay next to her restless mate in their room, "Darling...what are you going to do?" She ran her porcelain fingers through his dark locks to soothe him. 

The proud Don's eyes said it all: he was angry and disgusted for another myriad of reasons. His rival was an opportunist monster. He had always known this since this feud started but today was the final nail in the coffin. Luna and Cowrie were now his daughters and no one could tell him otherwise. Indigo was under his care and had the potential to be a great addition to the Leech household. Because of that, Don Leech couldn't rest while one of the Ceriths was still being targeted. He saw the worry in his mate's eyes and he frowned. 

"We're going to make a plan. Have faith in me, love." 

His wife nuzzled her face into his chest and purred, "I always do, dear husband. I'm just worried about the toll this will take on our poor Indigo..."

His bride had maternal affection for all of his boys in spades. Young or old, she never hesitated to care for each one in their time of need as if she birthed each of them herself. Under his gruff surface, he adored her for this quality. 

"He needs someone at his side."

Don Leech heaved a deep sigh, knowing exactly where this was going. He never mentioned it but ever since all of his wife's match matching efforts went to waste on their rebellious twins, Madam Leech had been silently buzzing to get to work on someone else. There wasn't a soul in his clan that hadn't had every chance at finding a mate thanks to the lady of the house. 

"Dearest..." he began in a tired voice, "I know you mean well but is now really the time?"

Madam Leech got that look in her eyes as she sat straight up, "But of course! What a better time than now when that poor boy's run himself ragged for everyone else's sake!" 

"I understand, my love, but I don't think throwing him into the ring with our sons' rejected leftovers is going to-"

His wife cut him off with a shrewd look, "Honestly husband, what do you take me for? My darling Jade and Floyd found absolute diamonds for their mates! Anything less would be an insult for dear Indigo who, need I remind you, protected your beloved wife-"

This went on for a while. Way after Don Leech had already silently admitted defeat. But just when he thought it was over, his mate dropped the final bomb on him.

"And besides, I know just the right match and already tested the water with him so to speak. The timing couldn't be better. My sweet niece is on the market. She'd be perfect!"

Don Leech gave his wife a wide eyed look, "Your brother's daughter...? Your brother, the same straightlaced guppy who nearly went belly up the minute my name left your lips when I was courting you?"

The elegant eel giggled at the memory, "Yes that brother. His daughter is an angel with her mother's backbone. And she adores you! I'm sure with her favorite uncle's blessing she'll give dear Indigo a chance."

"It's not our niece I'm worried about," he grumbled, "but...well you're usually right about these things." 

"I'm always right about these things, darling," she purred before giving him a kiss. -

The morning light, little of it there was, seemed to pound into Indigo's already aching head. He felt like had been buried alive under concrete as he sluggishly stirred on his bed. A knock at his door made him groan but the stoic eel quickly sat up when he heard Don Leech's gruff voice call out to him.

"You up, boy?" 

Indigo wasn't given the chance to answer before the door opened. His boss had a calm yet serious look on his face as he looked the ragged younger eel up and down, "Breakfast is on the table. My wife expects you to join us today so don't keep her waiting, hm? And fix your hair, you look a mess."

Indigo learned very quickly that Don Leech was like his own father in that he wasn't very generous with affection, verbal or otherwise. However, very much unlike his father, Don Leech did make a point to look out for Indigo in his own way. Neither eel ever said anything out loud, but Indigo silently understood and appreciated it.   "Yes sir." 

Madam Leech was far more open with her affectionate nature as if Indigo had always been one of her boys. Honestly, Indigo wasn't prepared for it at all.  It reminded him of how kind Junonia was to him and how Luna inherited it from her mother. And how much he missed it. While he knew her intentions were good, now knowing that Junonia was still alive...he couldn't help but feel guilty for not just enjoying the mistress' motherly affections but almost needing it. Again, this was something Indigo would never say out loud.  Madam Leech smiled warmly to her mate and Indigo as they entered the dining hall, "Good morning, my dears." 

Indigo had expected Don Leech to get right down to business given the circumstances. Instead, something completely unexpected came up in conversation. 

"In light of your current situation, Indigo," he began after his wife very pointedly cleared her throat in his general direction, "My wife and I have come to an agreement. We think it's time for you to focus on finding a mate for yourself now that you are free to do so." 

Indigo nearly choked on his bite of food. He blinked almost owlishly at his new boss, "I..uh...are you sure now is a good time, sir? Especially since my father's focus is back on me?"

The gruff Don sighed but didn't look up from his plate, "I understand your concern. I had them as well at first, but the fact of the matter is you're in this life whether you are here in my home or back there with your father. The difference is here, you can have a life all your own and thrive. Trust me...having the right mate by your side makes all the difference, boy." 

Madam Leech smiled sweetly at her husband even if he wasn't looking at her, she still felt his tail gently wrap around hers underneath the table as he said these words. Seeing the hint of nervousness in Indigo's tense shoulders, the kind mistress stepped in to comfort him.

"Don't worry, my dear, we're not going to just throw you into the currents blindly, "she chuckled making Indigo relax a tiny bit, "My niece that I mentioned to you recently is looking for a mate. I think you'd be a wonderful match for her and her for you as well," her expression was full of confidence and warmth, "I don't want to pressure you, of course, but...if you are interested, I've been invited for a visit this weekend and would happily take you with me to meet her, Indigo. If nothing else, I think you more than deserve a break away from it all." 

If he were being honest, Indigo felt very, very unsure about all of this. That was the first layer of the absolute whirlpool of emotions he was hiding underneath his slightly uncomfortable expression. The next was a barrage of awkward memories from his school days and all of the interactions he had with the opposite sex, and sometimes the same sex, as a teenager. Indigo inwardly cringed at the memory but honestly the final layer was that he had one more secret that he'd been holding onto for years. Remembering her brought both peace and tremendous guilt into his heart.  Especially when he recalled his history between their first meeting and now. Any sort of intimate experiences he did have over the years was purely transactional and arranged beforehand by his father to...well putting it bluntly, take care of his and his brothers' carnal needs during certain times of the year after they reached a certain age. For Ventuno, he had always been aggressive, but it came to a boiling point when he was fifteen. He took to this arrangement a lot more than Indigo did whose first experiences were right before he started high school. There was no romantic attraction or attachment involved whatsoever. It wasn't exactly a secret on the Muraeni turf that this happened. But after Indigo was dragged back into this life under the waves when he was eighteen, he began abstaining from it altogether.  His father and brothers never shamed him for it but it all just felt so meaningless to him after he met her. Indigo never spoke of this with his sisters. If anything, part of him was afraid that they would eventually become just like those girls that were offered so freely to him and his brothers only to be put back on the metaphorical shelf when they were satisfied. That thought alone turned his stomach. But now that Luna and Cowrie were secure with their own mates...the final layer that Indigo was that he was very lonely, and he missed her desperately. Now that he was in fact free to pursue something more substantial, perhaps they could try again.

Indigo cleared his throat as he tried to keep the butterflies in his gut at bay, "I...I would like to, ma'am, but-"

Madam Leech lit up like an Anglerfish's lure before he could even finish, "Wonderful! Oh she is such a lovely girl, you will love her immediately I'm sure. My brother doesn't have the same connections as my darling but the Funebris family is still quite distinguished and well bred," she beamed. 

Indigo suddenly felt his whole world come to a halt. Almost to the point where he choked again. He knew that name...but had no idea that it was connected to the Leech family in anyway. Her shy face that he hadn't seen in years suddenly came to mind. The way she both hid behind her vibrant green-teal hair when they first met. Yet her fiery orange eyes glowed like embers when she finally opened up to him little by little. Her voice was soothing and warm, like herbal tea. Fragments of the memory kept threading together in Indigo's mind as he felt his pulse in his own throat.

"And your niece's name?" he asked tentatively, hoping to satisfy the intense curiosity burning through him. Could it really be...?

"Ivy Funebris. She's as lovely as she is smart. I'm sure you'll adore her."

Ivy Funebris...his final secret. It had to be the very same Ivy he grew to love.

"I already do..." he said almost bashfully, making both Don Leech and his wife stare at him. After a long beat, Indigo took a deep breath and cleared his throat, feeling the heavy realization of what he was about to say press in on him, "We've...met before. Several times actually...somehow her being your niece never came up in conversation, however..."

The entire ocean and universe above had to be laughing at him right now. That was the only explanation for how anxiously stupid Indigo felt as he watched the married couple process this information. Don Leech's eyes narrowed at the nervous young merman. 

"You've met my niece before...where and how exactly?"

"At school...s-sir. I was already going by Indigo Cerith so she didn't know who I was. Really...was, I mean." Somehow Indigo's voice was even keel though he felt his entire body's desire to crawl under the table, "We first met at an academic conference between our school, Royal Sword, and her school, Sacred Crown."

"Uh huh. Go on..." 

Madam Leech started to feel a bit sorry for Indigo's poker face was beginning to crack under her husband's razor-sharp stare, "Darling, please..." but her soft plea went ignored.

"We...took an interest in each other pretty quickly. But I didn't want to put her in danger, so I never told her who my father was or where I really came from. During breaks from school, I would stay on campus and communicated with Ivy mostly through messages whenever we couldn't see each other. But any face-to-face meeting we did have was very respectable, sir." 

Indigo was close to sweating even under water, but had it been anyone else, the shrewd Don would have suspected he was simply giving him lip service. For the boy's sake, Don Leech relaxed a bit as he leaned back in his seat with a more casual tone, "And after your father dragged you back home...?"

It was probably the first time he saw Indigo truly flinch. Indigo had done his best to hide his sadness deep under the surface for a long time but now it felt impossible to do so, "I sought her out in secret. Since her home is further south and in unclaimed territory by you or my father, it never occurred to me that she might be related to you. She was still in school so I could only see her whenever she returned for summer and occasionally winter break, so I waited. We continued like that for about a year until her father found out. He threw me out and threatened to have me killed on the spot if I ever returned. It didn't take long for my own father to find out that I kept sneaking off at night and he put me in lockdown. I never told my father what exactly I was doing but I haven't seen her since I was nineteen." 

Madam Leech's sad expression quickly hardened with resolve, "Well that settles it then." 

Don Leech held up a hand to stop any argument Indigo was about to give, "Save it, boy. There's no changing her mind once she gets like this." 

"Oh you hush," she playfully scolded her mate, "Indigo dear, you love Ivy still don't you? I can see and hear it when you talk about her," she smiled a bit smugly making his face flush, "All the more reason to reunite the two of you, especially now! I personally will not rest until my brother sees reason!" 

Indigo blinked wordlessly at her and Don Leech, who just gave him a look that said 'I told you so'. So it was decided whether Indigo was ready or not. -

He held onto what he could until the very end of the day where his tired mind did the rest of the work for him as he slept. As soon as Indigo's head touched his pillow, the memory came back together more clearly...

Indigo was seventeen and a sophomore at NRC when he had met Ivy. She was a freshman at Sacred Crown. One of her dormmates had tagged along to the academic conference once she caught wind that the famous Oasis Snake of Scarabia would be there as well. Both of the eels were there to attend lectures between different magic schools in earnest. The other freshman girl in the equation just wanted a chance to catch Indigo's eye but thought having another mermaid at her side might break the ice. It definitely worked just not in the flirty human's favor, unfortunately. 

Even in his dreams the human girl that had set her sights on him had a blurred expression in place of a recognizable face. He remembered walking towards the NRC library with a few of his own classmates where the lecture of his choice would be starting in a few minutes. That's when the faceless girl approached him and tried striking up a conversation. The dream seemed to skip and glitch in parts that his mind didn't quite recall but when it became clear, Ivy was there behind her dormmate, suddenly shifting into focus. Soft, shy, sweet. A feminine little thing with her hair in floppy twin tails and bangs that hid half of her timid face. But the one visible eye of hers was a stunning warm amber orange that burned like a sunset. Though she struggled to meet his ice blue gaze at first, when Ivy spoke, her voice was clear. She had a sweet scent that seemed to both excite and tame his more primal senses.  Eventually she smiled. She laughed. She looked interested in what he had to say in return. Ivy spoke openly about her studies in magic, her eyes sparkling with passion with each word. Anyone else around fell by the wayside as this cute freshman drew Indigo in at an alarming rate. Behind her shy demeanor, she was so pretty. The present Indigo would've been humiliated had he been awake. Even in his dreams, he could feel his teenage self's hormones drawn to this little female eel like the world's strongest magnet. Sure, they were both on land and in their human forms, but their true selves couldn't be fooled.  What exactly was it that kept his eyes on her? ...everything, it was everything, wasn't it? Her alluring scent, her beauty, her laugh, her passion...

"I'm studying various forms and function of Magic Stones to help with my family's business. You're from the Coral Sea too, right? Maybe you know the Funebris family too then?"

When his younger self said something in response, it just sounded like his voice had been filtered through thick fabric coming out muffled on the other side. Still, Ivy Funebris beamed at him in return and said something that made his heart flutter even in his dreams.

"You're really cool, just like I heard you were, Cerith-senpai...." the memory cut forward a split second and she corrected herself, "Ah...Indigo then...my name? Oh I'm Ivy."

Her soft pink lips formed the sound that seemed to ring like a bell. A teacher from Sacred Crown called out to her and took her attention away from him for a moment before she turned back to him, with a bashful smile, "It was nice to meet you, Indigo...can we talk some more later?"

And that was it. Indigo stared at the ceiling after waking up, replaying the image of her entirely. After about an hour, he just groaned in frustration before rolling over and burying his face back into his pillow. Did she even think of him in the same way anymore? Whatever the answer was...Indigo had to find out for himself.

-

The week passed quickly and left Indigo feeling strangely anxious. His time had been split between formulating a plan under Don Leech's guidance and getting himself prepared to reunite with Ivy Funebris. Madam Leech had helped bolster his confidence in the days leading up to their visit but once they arrived, it was clear that this wasn't going to be nearly as straightforward as either one had hoped. 

When Madam Leech said her family, her brother and his own family especially, were distinguished and well bred, she wasn't exaggerating. Her brother, while not connected to the mafia his sister had married into, made a name for himself by discovering and harvesting magic stones that were native to the Coral Sea directly. More specifically, magic pearls and the development of them were his business and his business made him very wealthy. That and his very eligible daughter put the Funebris family center stage for hungry suitors looking to climb up the social food chain. Meaning that when Madam Leech and Indigo arrived, he wasn't the only suitor coming to call that day. Frankly, it made his blood boil defensively. His coloring was vastly different and his face and body littered with scars. In a flock of more clean, green and yellow eels, Indigo's rough blue-grey and vivid yellow spotted coloring stuck out like a sore thumb. Getting a few strange looks put his already heightened nerves on edge but Indigo hid it under his trained poker face. Madam Leech didn't pay the younger hopefuls any mind and swam right past them with Indigo at her side. When they were greeted at the door by one of her brother's staff, Indigo was met with another questioning look. This was going to be an entire obstacle in itself he realized once Ivy's father entered the room they were escorted to. The father greeted his sister with a bright smile, clearly relieved to see her still in one piece though she was still a mob boss' wife. When his eyes landed on Indigo, his smile quickly fell off his face.  "And...this....is?"

"Indigo Cerith, sir," he politely bowed his head and reintroduced himself.

"My husband's new and very promising protege," Madam Leech didn't bother trying to hide how proud she was,  "I brought him along to see sweet Ivy."

The brother's eyes narrowed sharply as he looked Indigo over, "You brought him to meet my daughter? Isn't he one of those unsavory Muraenis? In fact...oh yes, I remember you," his tone turned venomous as he snarled out the last few words, "I invited you, sister, but you brought this trash here with you?!" He could change his name but he couldn't change his appearance, not without some serious magic anyway. Don Muraeni was so infamous that even Roman Moray merfolk that weren't related or connected to him in anyway were hated by those not affliated with him simply because they had the similar color and patterns on their skin. Being Don Muraeni's actual offspring was always going to be a hurdle but... "I'm not associating with Don Muraeni anymore if that's what is troubling you, sir."

Indigo still had to try. Thankfully Madam Leech was in his corner and ready to defend if not hype him up any time necessary. Mr. Funebris saw the look in his sister's eyes and hissed, "You cannot seriously expect me to let Ivy know that he is here! I'm already having a hard time getting her to meet any of the other suitors I've chosen for her!"

"Indigo, dear. Why don't you wait out in the gardens? They are quite lovely," She would know for she designed them herself, "I need to catch my baby brother up on some things..."

Madam Leech blocked her brother with a deadly serious gaze before he could even think about stopping the young man from leaving. Indigo said nothing and left the room, knowing that his mistress had everything well in hand. - The grounds were pretty easy to navigate after being in the Leech Mansion for a while. Even so, Indigo was frustrated. It felt like any corner he turned he was met with another pedigree suitor giving him the stink eye. He was about to find peace when he reached the garden gate only to see two eel boys trying to peek inside a closed off corner towards the back. They were whispering to themselves.

"This is the only locked up place, why wouldn't she be in here?"

"You're probably right but doesn't this seem a bit much...? Wouldn't it be better to just wait like the others?"

"If you want to get left in the cold with all her other rejects, be my guest," the first boy scoffed, "besides...there's no harm in getting a sneak peek before anyone else."

Hearing the shady eel laugh creepily to himself enflamed Indigo's protective instinct faster than he could blink. 

"The hell do you think you're doing?!" 

The two intruders jumped back at Indigo's snarl and nearly wet themselves when they faced him. The first bolted out of the garden without argument before the second clumsily followed after him. Indigo just rolled his eyes and crossed his arms as he watched them flee. The plant covered lattice-like barrier they had been peeking into had a hand sized opening in it. It felt weird to look into it himself, but Indigo also didn't feel right just leaving it unguarded. Instead he turned his back to it as he leaned against the fencing, his gaze locked onto the front gate. He never understood the desire to spy on girls even in his teen years. Sure he was curious but there were limits...

He sighed as time passed slowly but at least it was quiet and he was alone finally. Indigo felt himself start to relax for the first time all week when a soft brush of movement sounded from the other side of the fence. There was a sweet scent and then a familiar voice...

"Hello?"

Indigo felt his muscles tense as that tone hit his ears and made his head turn towards the opening, "H-Hello....I'm sorry to hover here it's just there was some other guys lurking about."

The voice gave a soft chuckle, "Ah, again. It happens whenever my father invites suitors to come. Thank you for chasing them off.... what's your name, sir?"

He felt like he was losing his mind. Indigo felt hot embarrassment wash over him as his body tensed up with instinctual excitement. His pulse quickened, his tail started to flick back and forth, hell, was his mouth watering?! Great merciful Sea Witch, his hormones were probably pumping out pheromones like it was the damn end times! Indigo felt like an absolute fool! All this just from a sniff of her sweet scent and the sound of her warm voice? He mentally growled at his own body for acting like he was still a teenager. The scent, the sound of her voice, both were more refined now, but it had to be...it was too familiar. 

"I-Indigo Cerith..."

When he heard a soft gasp and the sound of his name, he knew.

“Indigo?!” He hid his face in his hand, trying to ignore the shiver running up his spine at hearing his name on her lips, “Y-Yes...”

After collecting himself for a moment, Indigo moved to the opening and saw one surprised burning orange eye with a bit of bright teal-green hair. It was her. There was an expectant hush to her voice as she looked in his icy blue gaze, "Y..You remember me?"

He deadpanned probably for the first time ever. Did he remember her?! Indigo couldn't stop himself. He felt the same rush come flooding back just like when they were still school kids as his voice came out in a shaky chuckle.

"Ivy, why do you think I'm here? Of course, I remember you..."

Her gaze seemed to freeze in shock before widening in distress, "Indigo..." and suddenly she was gone. It happened so quickly that Indigo almost believed he imagined her being there completely. 

"Ivy...?" he called out quietly. He started to feel panic creep up on him under he heard a gate further down unlatch. He caught a quick glimpse of her beautifully green tail whip back inside before following after it. Indigo felt his heart pound as he entered the garden and looked about for Ivy. He heard a soft sob coming from inside a small forest of seaweed and stone structures and saw her silhouette. He quietly approached, feeling more guilt stab into him the closer he got to her crying voice. Indigo nearly dropped dead on the spot when he saw her curled up on herself under a stone arch.

Ivy Funebris had grown beautifully. It was almost unfair. In place of the shy, petite girl was now a blossomed young woman, carved in smooth spring green and teal skin, bright fins that held a light shimmer to them, with the same soft, now short hair framing her sad face. Ivy looked up at him with her gorgeous heartbroken eyes. Indigo felt himself almost shatter in her presence.

"Ivy...please let me explain-" 

"You're a BEAST, Indigo Cerith!" she sobbed, "wh-where did you go? I...I thought you were gone forever! I waited...I waited for so long. I've refused every other man my father brought here in hopes that you were still out there somewhere..."

Remorse wasn't a strong enough word for what he feeling. He carefully lowered himself to the ground in front of her, "Ivy, I'm so sorry. I didn't stay away because I wanted to. It's...it's a long complicated story." 

Ivy sniffled and wiped away her near invisible tears in frustration, "Oh is it? Try me, Indigo Cerith. Or should I call you Indigo Muraeni instead?" 

When he hesitated, she turned away from him with crossed arms and an angry pout, "Yes I know who you are...I've known since my father chased you off that night."

"I didn't know who you were, Ivy," his voice was soft as he leaned in closer to her, his eyes sad and pleading, "It wouldn't have mattered even if I did. My feelings have never changed. Does my heritage make you hate me...?"

She scoffed but still refused to face him, "I don't care about that! I never did...I just wanted you to come back to me. You're cruel for making me wait so long!" 

"Ivy..." his earnest voice made her heart leap. She stubbornly held onto her anger as she felt his arms gently embrace her from behind...but even so, she couldn't bring herself to push him away. He repeated her name like it was a prayer as he pressed his lips into the back of her shoulder like he used to. She felt her resolve melt the gentler his kisses became. If anyone had stumbled across this scene, they would have thought the usually stoic Indigo had a doppelganger. 

"Ivy. Please forgive me. Please hear me out," he whispered into her skin, "Please. After that, if you want...I'll never trouble you again." 

His whole body jolted as she suddenly turned around in his arms and pressed her lips eagerly to his. When Ivy broke away, she still had that fiery look in her eyes, "Don't you dare leave me again. I'll never forgive you if you do....now tell me everything."

Her expression softened into one ready to listen. So he did. Every single thing that had happened to him, to his sisters, and what was brewing on the horizon outside the garden walls as they spoke. Bit by bit, Ivy turned back into the sweetest girl he had ever known again. By the end, he could barely look her in the eyes and he held her delicate hands in his. Indigo felt a heavy lump form in his throat as he tried to continue.

"I had to see you again, Ivy. At least one more time. And now that I'm here...I...I uh hardly know how to even begin to ask you...to..." 

He couldn't finish. The words were stuck in his throat, plugged there by the immense responsibility he felt about everything. Indigo was a mess but immensely grateful that Ivy was the only witness. He held it together for so long out of necessity but somehow, Ivy had become his sanctuary and always held him close whenever he was in a vulnerable state...this moment was no different.  He felt Ivy's gentle hands glide over his skin as if she was seeing all of his scars for the first time. She lifted his chin to guide his gaze to hers with a soft smile, silently asking him to finish. He gulped and tried again.

"Ivy. I've been stuck in a very dangerous life since I was born. If I could leave it behind completely, I would...but I can't. Even so, no matter what happens, I want you there next to me. I promise you'll never be in danger. I'll do everything in my power to make sure you want for nothing and to ensure you'll always be safe with me." 

The smile on her face rivaled the sun. She cupped his face and kissed his jaw, his lips, and finally his closed eyelids before pressing her forehead to his with a sigh, "Took you long enough, Oasis Snake." 

She giggled playfully at the groan that came from him. His half-lidded eyes dripped with exasperation, "Of course, you remember that stupid nickname..."

"How could I forget? You were so cool back then. No wonder my classmates swooned over you," her eyes were now full of girlish mirth. His face was grumpy, but his tail shyly wagged making Ivy giggle even more.

"Ugh stop it..." 

-

After a long argument, Madam Leech headed to the gardens to fetch Indigo, ignoring her brother's last attempts to change her mind. 

"I won't have it!" he groaned, "You say he's loyal to your family now but even so, he'll invite nothing but trouble-" 

He stopped in his tracks with a wide-eyed look once they reached the garden entrance and he saw that the gate to his daughter's private sanctuary was open. He shot an accusatory glare towards his sister and snarled, "I told you he was up to no good!"

Madam Leech rolled her eyes and followed after her brother at a much more relaxed pace. When he hovered frozen just beyond the entrance, she smiled at the sight that greeted them. Ivy, radiant as sunshine, looked lovingly down at the sleeping Indigo and gently played with his stormy locks as his head rested on her lap. If she heard her father's fuss as he entered, she paid him absolutely no mind. 

"Oh yes...what a ferocious delinquent this boy of mine is," Madam Leech drawled sarcastically with a smug grin, "My question is this, brother: when was the last time you saw Ivy look so happy?"

Her brother was dumbfounded, and boy did it hang on his face like a neon sign. His first instinct was to stubbornly object to this entirely and have Indigo thrown out like he did before but....he just sighed in defeat instead.

It was barely another week before Ivy Funebris became Mrs. Ivy Cerith. There wasn't a big celebration or official ceremony by request of the young couple. It simply happened and it was done before any naysayers could get a word in. 

- 

A plan was set and meeting date decided. The morning of, Indigo spent time in the Leech garden with his bride. They sat alone in solitary nook that quickly became their spot, tails intwined together, his kisses on her skin as she rested in his strong arms. 

"Do you like it?" he asked before kissing into the bare skin of her neck after he finished clasping the jewelry on her. 

His wife hummed sweetly as she admired the mating chandelier style necklace made of pearls and shell nacre that he meticulously designed for her, "It's absolutely beautiful. No one would ever believe me if I told them what a romantic my husband is under his rough exterior...then again, I enjoy having this side of you all to myself." 

"You give him too much credit," he snorted dryly before giving her shoulder a kiss, "he was too clumsy to make it himself so he had a professional do it for him. That's why it took so long."

"I love him just the same so hush," she laughed before turning to face him directly, "More importantly...are you going to be alright?"

He couldn't hide the worry in his icy blues from his mate. When he didn't respond, Ivy nuzzled her face into his neck and took her time leaving a trail of affectionate nips leading to his collar bone, "Indigo, my love...?" she purred, trying to coax him out of his brooding.

Her husband knew he was beaten and just chuckled wryly, "I am... a bit anxious to see my mother again, if it is true that is. But I will be just fine, Ivy. I'll come back to you in one piece, Mrs. Cerith. I promise."  

Indigo took her hand in his and pressed a kiss into her palm to seal the promise. His wife felt warmth spread on her face in time with her smile, "I'll be waiting, Mr. Cerith."

Tagging: @nuitthegoddess @iscarlettappel @foxwitchaine @1ndigowitch @wysteriadelights @evieyouknow @ladyrosemoon @victoria1676 @aiimee9 @honey-milk-depresso @espada188 @feldya

[queerholmcs]

idk about you but I have ALWAYS thought that john’s line “the problems of your future are my privilege” was supposed to be read as a threat. HE SAID HE CHOSE THE WORDS WITH GREAT CARE that’s not a loving phrase that’s a “fuck around find out” signal if I ever heard one

LITCHERALLY!!! “privilege” like ok so my boy is absolutely spending nights dreaming about making her life hell huh! but then. she did murder his best friend. so i'm not sure what else she expected there!

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hi! I'm craving some cozy autumn vibes johnlock fics to read in the cold season. Do you have some recs? Lots of love <3

Hi Lovely!!

Oh what a fun list idea!! I can't believe I've never thought of doing one given that Autumn is my fave season! I know more fics than what I picked here for you take place in the Fall, but I've only included ones with the season in the tag. If anyone has more fics, PLEASE add them and give me a hand :)

Hope you enjoy these fics!!

AUTUMN / FALL FICS

See also:

Hot and Cold Fics (June 2022)

Halloween and Ghosts (updated Oct 31/21)

Halloween Fics 2023 (MFLs)

BOOKMARKS

And as the seasons change, I love you more by Teatrolley (NR, 3,219 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff and Angst, Est. Rel., Marriage / Proposal) – A year in the lives of John and Sherlock, essentially.

In the Bleak Midwinter (A Canticle for Advent) by CaitlinFairchild (M, 3,476 w., 1 Ch. || Angst, Injury, Missing Scenes, HLV Timeline) – In the autumn of 2014, Mary Watson shot Sherlock Holmes. This is what happened after.

Let me be the wallpaper that papers up your room by Teatrolley (NR, 3,966 w., 1 Ch. || Est. Rel., Two Idiots in Love, Fluff, Domestics) – Four seasons in the life of Sherlock and John, really.

Pater Noster by SilentAuror (E, 34,256 w., 2 Ch. || Case Fic, HLV/S3 Fix It Fic, Family Trauma, Sherlock POV, Villain Mary) – During the autumn that John is staying at Baker Street again after Sherlock was shot, he ruminates over the similarity between Sherlock's shot and the one that killed his father when he was fifteen. Cold case meets series 3 fix-it. Part I takes place entirely within His Last Vow, Part II takes place starting at the end of HLV and continues after.

Act IV by SilentAuror (E, 39,707 w., 1 Ch. || HLV Fix-It, First Person POV Sherlock, Infidelity, Angst, Drama) – After Sherlock is shot, John moves back into Baker Street. They spend the autumn together as John tries to make sense of his life and make some important decisions about both Mary and Sherlock. Canon-compliant, excerpts from His Last Vow.

MARKED FOR LATER

Into the Gloaming by Vulpesmellifera (M, 8,385 w., 4 Ch. || Heavy Angst, Child Death, Grief / Mourning, Mentions of Cancer, Corvids, Fever Dreams, Hopeful Ending) – She lays the sage bundle down in one of his seashells, avoiding the label. How he loved cataloging natural items. That sharp mind of his so naturally tended to the sciences, and she’d taken great joy in encouraging him all his life. All the first thirteen years of it. The last year has been entirely different. His hand lies just outside the white comforter. When she touches it, the chill of his skin sends a shiver down her spine. His lips move, his voice as soft as dead, dry leaves. “What’s that, love?” she says. “In the trees,” he says, his eyes still closed. “Is it John there in the trees? I think he’s waiting for me.” Viola turns her gaze out the window and to the closest tree, a resplendent cherry in the throes of autumn. In the branches there, for just a second, she thinks she sees it: a black bird, feathers gleaming in the sun.

A Thousand Kisses Deep by Susan (E, 12,689 w., 1 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Time Travel, Longing, Angst, Post S1, Time Travel Fix It) – “Come here,” Sherlock said and when he did, he put his arm across John’s shoulder, and pulled him close. John let him, and after a moment, rested his head against Sherlock’s chest. Sherlock felt the familiar ache, a longing for what might have been. If only he’d been braver, more sure of John’s feelings. He dropped his arms and stepped back. It was too late. Things were as they were meant to be. But it was autumn in Sussex, and everything was changing. If you were given a chance to go back to the beginning and make things right, would you take it?

Hot Water Bottle by khorazir (T, 18,436 w., 1 Ch. || Post TLD / TFP Doesn’t Exist, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Misunderstandings, Communication, Demisexual Sherlock, Bisexual John, Autumn, Bed Sharing, Developing Relationship, First Kiss) – A case in one of the remotest corners of the Lake District, a storm, an inn, a broken boiler, a room with two beds but only one hot water bottle, and two men who have a lot to sort out between them – all of this makes for a night to remember.

Johnloctober by prettysailorsoldier (E, 169,945 w., 31 Ch. || Assorted AU’s || Alternate First Meetings, Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs, 30 Day OTP Challenge, Prompts, Halloween / Autumn, Assorted Tags) – 31 days of autumnal Johnlock with prompts from all of you! There will be a bit of everything, but you can check the tags for more specifics.For a summary of every chapter, as well as individual tags, click here.

Enigma by khorazir (M, 289,667 w., 23 Ch. || Codebreaker / WWII / Imitation Game-Inspired AU || Case Fic, Espionage, Period-Typical Homophobia / Sexism, Pining Sherlock, Inexperienced / VirginSherlock, Implied / Referenced Drug Use, Non-Graphic Violence) – It’s the autumn of 1941, war is raging in Europe, German U-boats are raiding Allied convoys in the Atlantic, the Luftwaffe is bombing English cities, and the cryptographers at Bletchley Park are working feverishly to decode their enemies' encrypted communications. One should consider this challenge and distraction enough for capricious codebreaker Sherlock Holmes. But the true enigmas are yet waiting to be deciphered: an unbreakable code, a strange murder, and the arrival of Surgeon Captain John H. Watson of the Royal Navy.

[thepoetthatwenttothelakes]

so, it’s possible that someone posted about this already but I haven’t seen it anywhere so stay with me

Yesterday I watched ASIP after a long time, and I made a connection that has been in my subconscious since the first time a watched HLV a few years ago.

The stairs from Sherlock’s mind palace? They are the same as the on in the building where Jennifer’s body, the journalist dressed in pink, is founded. (I mean it is not exactly the same, put I think the resemblance is intentional, it’s practically identical).

Which takes me to the fact that Sherlock has this particular place stocked in his mind palace. The place where his and John’s story begins. The house from their first case together. The stairs in which he has his first revelation (Pink!). Where John points out loud how brilliant and fantastic Sherlock is.

And when Sherlock is dying and Moriarty points out John is in danger, the journey that takes Sherlock from death to life is throughout this staircase. He is coming back to John by taking up the stairs where took place their first case together. In fact, (according to another theory that says that the cell where Mortiarty is tide up is Sherlock’s heart) this stair leads to his heart.

So, yeah.

And also, may I point out the difference of light between the two shots. The first one, in the beginning of the series, is dark, shadowy, humid. It’s Sherlock’s life before John.

The second one is light, bright, not only representing his heart, his love, his life now that he has John, but also that’s how Sherlock perceives it during his way back to life, to his John.

That’s it thanks for coming to my ted talk.

[leosficlist]

Post S3 Getting Together

Here for your reading pleasure are the fics I had bookmarked that take place after Series 3 or diverge from canon somewhere in there. Post-Mary, some acknowledging the wedding, a few with Rosie.

Lines Written In Kensington Gardens by CaitlinFairchild 6.1k words

Thirty-five was the established boundary, Sherlock decided after extensive calculations. He would be dead by thirty-five. That was the kind of man he was. That was the kind of life he lived.

At thirty-four, a year before his appointed rendezvous with oblivion, Sherlock met a man. Nobody special, or so he thought, an ordinary man--who soon proved extraordinary, a man who killed without hesitation to protect a life Sherlock cared nothing about.

This is the story of how Sherlock Holmes lived long enough to grow old.

Vena Cava by SilentAuror 27.4k

Sherlock has been shot in the chest; John has been shot in the heart. Though everything is broken, they do their best to heal the wounds that Mary left on them both.

All Wrapped Up by ThorntonsHeart 4.9k words

“John is back in Baker Street where he belongs but the Christmas present wrapping isn't going well! Of course, it's just another one of Sherlock's amazing gifts that he can wrap anything. John challenges him to prove it. Silliness ensues, chances are taken and the boys finally get everything they ever wanted for Christmas.”

notes: slight pwp, but romantic and lovely getting together

Nobody, Not Even the Rain, has Such Small Hands by miss_frankenstein 3.6k

“Will you need fresh socks?”

Sherlock’s voice immediately brings John back to the present. “What?”

Sherlock gestures irritably to the wet socks clutched in John’s hand. “Socks,” he says again sharply because he hates repeating himself, “Will you need fresh socks?”

notes: set somewhere in S3, John finally seizes his chance with Sherlock, Mary be damned. kinda arguing pre-confession

Your Daughter by agirlsname 9.3k words

Five times Sherlock held John's baby and one time he held John.

John didn't forgive Mary for shooting Sherlock, so the end of HLV didn't happen. When the baby comes John lives with Sherlock at Baker Street, and they take care of the newborn together. Sherlock adores her more than he's prepared for. Oh, and he might have something important to confess to John...

notes: absolutely beautiful devotional from Sherlock to the babygirl, who has no name mentioned.

Right Hand Man by SilentAuror 42k words

When John's left arm becomes paralysed after a car accident, Mary asks Sherlock to take him back to Baker Street to recuperate, as she's about to give birth. Despite the fact that the search for Moriarty is ongoing, Sherlock takes John in and takes responsibility for overseeing his rehabilitation as he adjusts to the loss of his arm.

notes: loved their slow paced getting together, heart clenching intimacy. post s3 in that it acknowledges that Mary shot Sherlock.

Are you happy? by amateurwriter 2.9k words

"The only option is, that you have some sort of a plan. Some crazy, brilliant plan that requires me living with her. So please, Sherlock. Tell me. I won't even be mad that you're keeping such essential things from me again. I promise. Just tell me. Tell me it's not much longer and I can come back here and just be with you like we were before. Tell me, Sherlock."

notes: porn with plot

Inked in Memory by 221b_hound 9.7k words

John has been back at Baker Street for a year, following the debacle that ended in Mary's death. Things are good. Back almost to what they used to be. Sherlock might wish they were something else, now, but he only has himself to blame, he thinks. It's too late, now, for the things he first denied before he'd ruined any chances he might have had.

Sherlock also thinks that people who get tattoos are idiots. But perhaps he's about to learn a thing or two, not least of which might be it's not as late as he thinks it is.

Many Happy Returns by sussexbound  5.5k

One did not surprise Sherlock Holmes on his birthday. It was not his ‘thing’. It was rarely appreciated. John knows this. He knows, but… [] But John can’t forget. [] All those things only made John love him more, but therein lies the problem, and the source of all his current turmoil. John loves Sherlock.

The Romance Was There by apliddell 4k words

In which Sherlock reveals his merits as a housekeeper, and a few other things, too.

notes: christmastime, domestic fluffy, harry over for the holidays, sharing a bed, sherlock writes a love letter

Eggs and Toast and Love Confessions by allonsys_girl 10.3k words

These two really are such idiots, but they figure it out in the end.

notes: loved their characterizations and their chemistry, realistic first time after getting together, john's bad at talking about his feelings

State of Flux by Atiki 24.6k

John’s marriage is over and he is finally back home (i.e. at Baker Street, where he belongs). Sherlock is awfully insecure and John is awfully hesitant, and they're both awkward idiots, of course, but they figure it out. Many First Times happen.

notes: love how they talk about their feelings, slowburn that doesn't drag

The Date (reprise) by distantstarlight 1.9k words

Sherlock Holmes is feeling low and blue but John is having none of it. It's Christmas Eve, and things to do.

notes: fluffy christmas getting together, mentions of mary so putting it in post s3

The Dread Pirate Roberts by loveanddeathandartandtaxes  1.2k words

"We first need to know if this new Moriarty is as… zealous as the last.” “I bet your boyfriend wasn’t secretly a lying assassin who tried to kill your best friend, though,” I can’t resist grumbling. Ever the drama queen, he throws his hands in the air and sighs loudly. “Can we please - just - focus, John?” Putting my hand to my face, I shake my head. “I’m sorry, I just thought having boyfriends wasn’t a thing you did.”

notes: if you like john leaving mary for sherlock

[lololollywrites]

Let's pretend WIP *Friday* is a thing, okay?

I may or may not have sat down today and written almost 1000 words of a WIP that came to me in a dream last night and demanded to be written. I think it'll be a oneshot; somewhere between 4-6k (though, knowing me, it could be longer).

I'm still vacillating between a few titles, but the premise is that Sherlock's death is announced a bit too *prematurely* to John by a doctor who left the operating room a bit too early; there are also some flashes of thoughts and dialogue to the moments immediately after Sherlock was shot in Magnussen's office. Ultimately - it's an HLV fix-it with an abundance of additional angst thrown in.

We'll see how it goes! I'm really only posting here so I'm motivated enough to finish writing, hopefully this weekend. Stay tuned. :)

Here's a little snippet from a random spot somewhere in the middle, though the text is liable to change as I edit and revise:

____

John stared down at his shoes.

And kept staring.

He couldn’t quite remember how he’d gotten… wherever it was he now found himself. The A&E department of a hospital. Yes. The problem was that he wasn’t sure which one. Modern. Nice. Unfamiliar. Though that probably wasn’t right; chances were he’d been there at least once before. His memories were muddled; smashed beneath a grinding pestle.

Shock. (Obviously, Sherlock’s voice drifted from nowhere).

John was intimately familiar with the sensation. With shock. Autopilot had taken over so quickly that he’d not been consciously paying attention to anything at all. He vaguely recalled shouting obscenities at Magnussen – injured and hunched over onto himself, face pale, and dubiously claiming to have already called 999 prior to John’s arrival on the 33rd floor. As uncharacteristically weak as Magnussen had appeared, he’d steadfastly refused to divulge the identity of Sherlock’s assailant. His murderer.

Hence the shouting of obscenities.

___

@johnlocky, @totallysilvergirl, @discordantwords, @jrow, @missdeliadili, @battledress, @helloliriels, @mxster-jocale, @cortinita, @calaisreno, @englandwouldfall, @kettykika78, @algyswinburne, @7-percent, @naefelldaurk

[miz-joelys-sherlollilists]

Latest & Greatest Sherlollbrary Additions 07/16/24

Amas Veritas (Practical Magic AU) by SimplyShelbs16 (Rated M, In Progress, Multi-Chapter) Fan/Supernatural, Adapt/Crossover (Movie AU) AO3 2024

And all others, should you wish it by Althea_Snape (Rated K, One-Shot) Historicalock (Regency) AO3 2024

Do the Unexpected by Teatime87 (Rated M, One-Shot) Trapped Together, First Kiss FF 2024

The Insane Option by amyutz (Rated M, In Progress, Multi-Chapter) Fake Relationship, Alt S3 AO3 2024

Molly Hooper and the Art of Seduction by mizjoely (Rated M, One-Shot) Pridelolly, Crack, Post TFP AO3 2024

Redemption by GarudaDreamsOfRain (Rated M, In Progress, Multi-Chapter) Post TFP, Amnesia AO3 2024

Sealed With a Kiss by Writingwife83 (Rated K, One-Shot) Sherlolly Appreciation Week 2024, Soulmates, Post HLV, Undercover Sherlolly, Fake Relationship AO3 2024

[writingwife-83]

I know I should be sharing something related to the ILY scene in TFP since it’s 8th (how??) anniversary is today, but sadly I have nothing new lol. Instead I wanted to share a one shot I just reposted that’s a few years old that I really liked. This is a missing scene between Sherlock and Molly in HLV, but it’s a Victorian au. It also happens to hold the record of how many prompts I filled within a single one shot. 😂 click the ao3 link below and I hope you guys enjoy it!

Goodbye, Molly Hooper

[possiblyimbiassed]

Metaphorical musings about BBC Sherlock

ETA: I now realise that this rambling got rather difficult to follow, so here’s a TL;DR with the points I’m trying to make:

Redbeard could still have been a dog - Victor’s dog - with all its metaphorical implications.

I think the ending of S4 is based on ages of nostalgical thinking from Conan Doyle’s audience, where ”it’s always 1895”.

But too fit in a truly modern adaptation, paradoxically, I think BBC Sherlock needs to align more with ACD Canon.

Canon didn’t end with Mary and two arguing men in 221B - it ended with Watson driving Holmes to a hotel in London.

This show seems to go in circles, but if we’re inside Sherlock’s head, he needs to wake up, get out of that loop and start living in the modern world (discarding the hetero norm of S4).

The recurring theme of “pilots” does, I believe, remind us of Sherlock’s and John’s relationship as it was presented in the Unaired Pilot.

The ‘pilot’ is also John Watson - the driver. He needs to live up to that.  

This was at first going to be an addition to @thewatsonbeekeepers’  excellent meta series about S4 from an EMP perspective, which ended with this little gem of very interesting metaphorical interpretations of TFP (X). But my addition got so lengthy that I thought it would be next to a crime to highjack their thread with it. :)  

@thewatsonbeekeepers‘ analysis makes a lot of sense to me on various levels, giving context and suggesting plausible interpretations to a lot of things that have been baffling me for a long time. But it also inspired me to look a bit closer on some running concepts of this show, as well as its (supposed) ending in relation to its very first beginning - the Unaired Pilot - and try to connect them metaphorically. Here are some of my own musings regarding their meta:

The Redbeard conundrum

We left off with about 20 minutes to go, as Sherlock is sinking into the black depths of his mind – the deepest we’re ever going to get as well as the darkest in colour, chiming with the rest of the series. And then – flashes of Eurus, Redbeard and young Sherlock bleeding in through his memory. @sagestreet’s meta argues that Victor Trevor could genuinely have been Sherlock’s first love even at that age, and I don’t dispute the possibility, but I do have an alternate reading for slightly later in age, based on one image alone. Jump back in your mind to TAB, when Mycroft tells Sherlock he was there for him the last time – we get a shot of a teenager in a drug den which is never repeated again, but which has a sense of absolute past trauma attached to it.

I totally agree with @sagestreet that every dog in this show represents homosexuality – every one of them, including Redbeard. But I also agree with @thewatsonbeekeepers that Victor Trevor could also have meant trauma to Sherlock a bit later in life than what we see in TFP. A metaphorical reading does not necessarily exclude a textual reading, I believe. I do have some problems, though, with the concept that was presented to us at the end of TFP: that Redbeard was supposedly not a dog, but rather Sherlock’s little friend Victor Trevor who died as a child. Because this doesn’t quite fit with the data, does it? Why couldn’t the name Redbeard have meant both the dog and the friend – and be a metaphor for Sherlock’s internalised homophobia?

I’m reluctant to buy the idea that all the flashbacks that Sherlock had of the word ‘Redbeard’ and/or this specific Irish setter with red fur - in HLV, TST, TLD and TFP - would exclusively be his mind’s substitution of a childhood friend who was murdered. The data we’re given seems rather more complex than that. Here’s a resume:

The concept of Redbeard was introduced already in TSoT, when Mycroft (Brain!Mycroft?) was warning Sherlock to ‘not get [emotionally] involved’ with John’s wedding. Sherlock answered with “I’m not a child anymore”, which suggests that ‘Redbeard’ occurred in his childhood.

In HLV the word “Redbeard” is assumed by Magnussen to be a trigger word for Sherlock. That would perhaps work if the dog were the thing in Sherlock’s life he had cared the most about. But if the thing that would trigger Sherlock’s psyche was actually his friend, why wouldn’t “Victor” be an even stronger trigger word?

Then we see the actual dog in Sherlock’s mind palace after he’s shot in HLV, where it’s implied that Redbeard was ‘put down’ (just like the inn-keepers in THoB claimed to have done with the Hound). 

In TAB we don’t see the dog, we only hear the muffled whimpers of Redbeard distracting Holmes in Sherlock’s drug-induced mind palace scenario, when Watson asks him about his feelings for women. 

The word ‘Redbeard’ is also scribbled on Mycroft’s note in the plane scene in TAB, after Mycroft (brain!Mycroft?) has declared that he will always be there for Sherlock.

In TST, when Sherlock is (supposedly) drugged by Mary, we see a dreamy scene with the Irish setter: 

and then we can see Victor Trevor playing pirates with little Sherlock and hear the dog bark at the same time. We can see from Victor’s checkered shirt in TFP that he’s the same little guy, but in TFP he wear’s the dog’s handkerchief:

In TLD, when Sherlock is on the brink of throwing himself into the Thames, we catch a very short glimpse of the same scene, repeating Eurus’ song from TST and TFP, as if to hammer the whole idea in: little Sherlock played pirates with a dog and a friend.

In TFP, Sherlock claims that Redbeard was his dog, who little Eurus locked up somewhere. But then adult Eurus reminds him in another scene that their father was allergic to dogs, so they were never allowed to have one.

Considering all these flashbacks, it seems rather as if Eurus – Sherlock’s gay trauma according to @thewatsonbeekeepers​  – is simply trying to get rid of the ‘dog’ – homosexuality – and claim that Victor was dead anyway, drowned in that same well where she was trying to drown John, so why keep bothering about the dog?

I strongly suspect that one of the main purposes with BBC Sherlock is to encourage the audience to actually read Conan Doyle’s stories about Sherlock Holmes – all 60 of them if possible. :-) Mofftiss haven’t exactly been true to ACD canon textually – in fact I think they have deviated miles and miles away from the original stories, especially in S4 (Watson never had a child, for example, and Mary Morstan was never an assassin. Watson naturally never ever beat up Holmes so he was hospitalised, that was extremely absurd). But on the other hand the subtext is very similar, I believe. I even think some of the metaphors are exactly the same, which our show might want to point out.

The name Redbeard is not mentioned in canon as far as I know, but Victor Trevor is, in The Gloria Scott (GLOR), and he’s not a child. Trevor was, according to Holmes, “the only friend I made during the two years I was at college”, so @thewatsonbeekeepers​’ reference to the scene in TAB with teenager Sherlock in a drug den as a traumatic event, possibly connected to an older Victor than in TFP, is very interesting. Holmes describes Trevor as “the only man I knew, and that only through the accident of his bull terrier freezing on to my ankle one morning as I went down to chapel.”

This is evidence that Victor Trevor did in fact have a dog, even if its name is not mentioned, and Holmes got bitten by it, which effectively tied him to Trevor. This seems to fit extremely well with @sagestreet​’s analogy. So if in our show Sherlock’s father was ”allergic” to dogs (meaning that Sherlock wasn’t allowed to express homosexuality), then Redbeard might actually still have existed belonging to Victor, right? And Victor may have named his dog after the pirate character he used to play with Sherlock. Maybe Sherlock loved Redbeard as if he were his own, and his friend too, but Redbeard might have been put down for some reason, symbolising the repression of Sherlock’s love for his friend? In GLOR, though, Victor Trevor doesn’t die; he moves to Terai, India, to a tea plantation… ;-)

Apart from playing pirates as a boy, in TFP we also see Sherlock hijack a fishing boat and actually become a pirate. I don’t think piracy is ever mentioned as such in canon, but the closest ACD comes to this is probably the story about Victor Trevor’s father – also referred to as ”the Governor”(!). In his youth, Mr Trevor (whose real name was actually James Armitage) got involved in criminality and ended up hijacking a ship – The Gloria Scott – where he participated in a mutiny which eventually blew up the ship in the middle of the ocean. Armitage was among the survivors, but so was Hudson, a man who later caused his death from fear when he threatened to expose his great secret. Considering that homosexuality was regarded a crime in Doyles’ time, I think this points to Victor’s father being a gay man pressured with exposure.

The need for a new start

As for the ending of TFP, I’m still totally baffled by it, after all these years. I think it has been likely to produce cognitive dissonance (X) in the audience, which is probably one of the reasons that so many fans felt uncomfortable after S4. To me, it’s hugely contradictory in a logical sense, and I’ve always had problems trying to wrap my head around the very different messages that I think it sends out.

On one hand, as @thewatsonbeekeepers so brilliantly explains in their meta, Sherlock has finally managed to connect his heart with his brain, going through all the mental trials from his metaphorical sister in TFP. He has also re-built his home and he and John are symbolically running out of ‘Rathbone Place’ (and by association all the old adaptations) in the final scene. Which points to there being room for new, modern things to happen in their story, no longer just ’business as usual’.

On the other hand we have comphet!Mary’s final voiceover about the legend and the non-importance of who Sherlock and John really are, which didn’t at all ring true to me in a logical sense. Why would Sherlock go to all this trouble of finding his true self, connecting heart with brain etc, if it didn't even matter?  And why would a ghost, who didn’t even experience TFP while alive, be allowed to take over the role as storyteller and have the final word? I think this speaks for some huge un-solved problems and ‘lose ends’ that are not at all tied together properly - neither on the text-, subtext- or meta-levels.

And - what’s even more important in my opinion - Sherlock and John seem to be frozen in time in the final scene. 

We’re told by comphet!Mary that “...there are two men sitting arguing in a scruffy flat... like they’ve always been there... and they always will.” In TFP, the address 221B Baker Street is described as a kind of eternal institution which people - even Mycroft - turn to as a last resort, when everything else fails. The flat is rebuilt and some piece of furniture is changed, but nothing is modernized. Even the smiley face on the wall, on which Sherlock shot holes in his fit of frustration in TGG, is painted again and done the exact same thing to. But as everyone loves the place, no one protests. Status quo is reestablished.

This may be the conclusion of many adaptations, but it’s not what happened in canon, is it? This is not even remotely similar to the original ending. In ACD canon, it’s not “always 1895″, as so many readers through the ages have nostalgically claimed. Canon’s LAST ends in 1914 - almost 20 years later - with Holmes and Watson driving away together in a car, with Watson at the wheel. Byt that time, Holmes is no longer living at Baker Street - he has retired. In fact, there’s a whole story (LION) where Holmes is now living in Sussex close to the sea, in spite of his earlier statements about how much he dislikes the countryside. So in canon, he spends his time there (when he’s not on super-important spying missions for the government). And in LAST there are even some indications that Watson and Holmes are heading for a hotel room in London - not 221B. I have tried to expand on these conclusions in a recent comment on @sagestreet‘s last meta (X), providing some circumstantial evidence that might be interesting. ;-)

I’m not sure about @thewatsonbeekeepers’ claim that their meta has “just been an academic exercise”. While we don’t have any solid evidence of a pending S5 at this point, logical reasoning - and ACD Canon - still tells me that TFP must not necessarily be the end of the show. If Sherlock is in a coma, any future new content needs for him to wake up, he needs to open his eyes in the show’s reality, for TFP to ever make sense on a plot level. For what’s the point of having a story go in circles? (I tried to analyse the significance of time in BBC Sherlock here (X) some time ago).

Sherlock Holmes and codes

I really like @thewatsonbeekeepers’ musings about Greg Lestrade’s name and the implication of Sherlock suddenly having it right in TFP:

This is tied into Sherlock’s inability to move beyond the mistakes of canon – we see this weird inability to stick in modern Sherlock’s universe in other ways too, like the slightly old-fashioned nature of his costume (passed off as ‘timeless’, but clearly belonging to old as much as modern times), the deerstalker situation, thinking England has a king, not knowing the earth goes around the sun, not knowing Madonna, seeming to forget who Thatcher is – the list goes on, but Greg is the most constant one. Calling him Greg is a symbol that Sherlock has broken out of the confines of all of the past Sherlocks and has completely slipped into the modern version – which is exactly where he needs to be.

I totally agree that this is where he needs to be, and I also agree about Sherlock’s clothing here. I seem to recall ACD’s Watson talks about “a certain quiet primness of dress” in Holmes, which most probably meant a suit, something that our modern Sherlock seems to still use as signature clothing as well, which might appear a bit unnecessarily formal today. But let’s not forget that in the Gay Unaired Pilot, Sherlock was wearing black jeans and a rather more casual shirt with rolled-up sleeves:

Overall, I got a more “modern” feeling from Sherlock’s looks and behavior in the Pilot than in the rest of the show. I think code is significant in BBC Sherlock, and this goes for ACD Canon as well. And I believe that “pilot” might be one of the more important code words, as I tried to explain in this meta about codes a couple of years ago (X).

In TFP, the “Golf” in “Golf-Whisky-X-ray” (the message that Sherrinford picks up from Sherlock’s and John’s highjacked boat) literally means “I require a pilot” in marine signals - a marine pilot, that is. Which metaphorically might suggest that Sherlock needs someone to help him navigate their ‘ship’ through the dangerous waters (= emotions).

There’s also the sleeping pilot in TFP, who little Eurus - probably representing a part of Sherlock - can’t seem to wake up. She requires a pilot to land safely, but for some reason she calls him “the driver” instead of “the pilot”. 

A pilot’s uniform with four stripes on it means the rank of Captain, right? (X) And who do we know who is a military Captain? Why, Captain John Watson, of course, from Fifth Northumberland Fusillers! :-)

In the unaired Pilot Jeff Hope - one of several John mirrors in this show - drives Sherlock home in his cab, instead of to Roland Kerr’s Further Education College as in ASiP. This journey ends at 221B where Hope tries to kill Sherlock with poison, which is stopped by John who shoots Hope (and we don’t see Sherlock stomping on his wound in the Pilot, probably making his aneurysm burst; in Pilot it’s just John). So that would basically be ‘John killing John’, which @thewatsonbeekeepers​ presents as a risk in TFP - the risk that makes Sherlock realize that he needs to open his eyes and save John Watson from killing himself. 

I agree, but I also want to focus a bit on John killing himself being a clear risk already from day one in BBC Sherlock. In their second meta of the series (X), @thewatsonbeekeepers​ also mentions this:

‘Did you miss me?’ works for both of those layers – the danger John is in from criminals is something that was really apparent in s1 and 2, but John’s endangerment from suicide is also something that was there at the beginning of the series. Sherlock changed these things – and didn’t realise he was the changing factor, but something in his subconscious is telling him that with him gone, John Watson is once again in danger.

Most of us probably thought that John had found a far better use for the gun in his drawer in the first episode of the show when he killed a villain instead of himself with it. But looking at it metaphorically, this course of events maybe wasn’t that good either. In canon’s first story STUD, Jefferson Hope dies from an aneurysm - close to the heart; not to the brain as in ASiP, and not from a gunshot at all. Both metaphorically and literally, Hope died from a broken heart. Rather than a villain, he was an avenger who killed two criminals who had caused the death of his loved one and her father and got away with it.

As far as I can recall, in ACD’s stories neither Watson nor Holmes ever shoots anyone, with one exception: they shoot Tonga, the little guy threatening them with poisoned arrows in SIGN. Who I feel pretty sure is meant to represent Cupido, the little guy with the love arrows, of whom ACD wrote this poem (X).  They shoot Tonga, the Agra treasure is lost and as a result of that, Watson marries Mary Morstan instead of staying with Holmes. And then she becomes Mary Watson (representing the heteronormative concept of ’marry Watson’). Love (between Holmes and Watson, I presume) is presented as a bad, toxic guy in canon. 

And in BBC Sherlock Jeff Hope is presented as a bad, toxic guy. The little guy with the arrows being a villain is also mentioned in TSoT, which is drawing from SIGN. In a flashback related by Sherlock at John’s wedding, we see a very small guy chasing John and Sherlock over a rooftop, trying to hit them with darts from his blowpipe. This case is never explained in the show, but from John’s online blog (case called “The Poison Giant”) we learn about a very short jewel thief called James Swandale, who had killed people with poisoned darts. He and his giant friend also tried to kill John and Sherlock (note the symbolism here), but they never got to know why. Metaphorical meanings throughout canon, picked up by BBC Sherlock. 

Already in ASiP Sherlock claims he can identify “an airline pilot by his left thumb”. In the unaired Pilot, however, the pilot’s thumb for some odd reason was instead “a retired plumber’s left hand” (the rest of the quote is identical between the Pilot and ASiP). And, as @kateis-cakeis pointed out long ago, the whole filming of the Pilot is mirrored in ASiP; every single scene these two similar episodes have in common is reversed and reflected like a mirror. As far as I can see ASiP references the Pilot.

And then we have the female pilot in TAB, who comes to ask Sherlock if he had a “pleasant flight” after his OD trip on the plane. 

Four stripes = Captain, right? John. Turns out she very much resembles Lady Carmichael from his MP adventure. (And still I think we have good reason to believe that both characters were only occurring in Sherlock’s EMP).

All in all, I think this points to the concept of “pilot” being an important element to set things right in this show, and that of course has to do with John; he’s the ‘driver’. Some of us have even been discussing that this show seems to go in circles with lots of recurring themes. Canon doesn’t end with 221B; it starts with it. So the full circle is closed with TFP, unlike canon. But returning to the Pilot and things as they were between Sherlock and John at the end of that episode, could also mean the beginning of a new course of their relationship. A version that was never allowed to be shown before because of homophobia, but that new course would ultimately be more consistent with canon, rather than with people’s nostalgic perception of canon for 100+ years. 

@thewatsonbeekeepers mentioned in their other meta about TFP (X) that the Governor of Sherrinford is a John mirror, who lost his authority when Eurus - the ‘gay trauma’ part of Sherlock - managed to manipulate him. The Governor ends up shooting himself - ‘John killing John’ (again). And indeed John’s character seems a bit weak as a doctor in S4. For example is his competence questioned by both Culverton and Sherlock in TLD (but Sherlock still wanted to be examined by John earlier in TLD :) ). This is consistent with canon’s DYIN, where Holmes horribly manipulated Watson to believe he had a disease that was “contagious by touch” and even insulted his competence (“you are only a general practitioner with very limited experience and mediocre qualifications”), in order to set a trap for Culverton Smith.

So my conclusion is that Sherlock’s manipulations of John - especially faking his own death after TRF - might have played a part in John’s lost authority and even in him being suicidal. But my point with all this rambling is that maybe John is meant to regain the lead now, to “buck up a bit” as Mrs Hudson puts it in TLD, before he’s finally allowed to be behind the wheel of her fast sports car. Maybe things will sort themselves out once Sherlock starts to break out from the circle and finally be honest with John, even let John take the lead, without fear of losing him to the villains, and once John starts to regain confidence in himself and who he really is. If they (and we) don’t need any ‘further education’ at Roland Kerr’s, John can simply drive Sherlock home now, wherever that is. :-)

@raggedyblue​ @sarahthecoat​ @gosherlocked​ @sagestreet​ @ebaeschnbliah​

[victorianpining]

what does it mean/symbolise if a character is shot in front of, or in, a mirror?

Great question anon! (Pretending I’m in a classroom I would ask for some more info about your thoughts about it first to guide the conversation but sadly I can’t do that in an ask so): I would have two approaches: how it looks on camera, and what it might mean symbolically. So for example sometimes for a violent scene, the camera will pan away and you’ll see only an outline, or part of the reflection, which is often for ratings reasons at least partially, but does subtly convert the message that what’s happening is too terrible to witness directly. The scene that’s coming to my mind on Sherlock though is the one in HLV, where it’s a key part of the scene that the mirrors behind Sherlock don’t break: if the bullet had gone through him he would have heard shattering glass. Because of this I’d place this more in the “an invisible barrier hasn’t been broken” yet than in the mirroring pile, but this scene seems to tie the two together: we only have a mirror still because the glass didn’t break.

[lololollywrites]

Yeah. I don't entirely disagree with the first half of this argument, but it's an incomplete one to make - one that only takes her early life into consideration. I think that had John and Sherlock discovered her assassin past BEFORE she shot Sherlock, they would have understood. To some extent, at least. Sherlock even says he wants to help her in Magnussen's office, likely having immediately deduced that piece of her history upon seeing her holding a gun. He and John are not moral prescriptivists nor are they strict rule followers; they understand that what is right is not always what is legal, and thus we root for them. Sherlock tortures the cabbie - a proven serial killer - to glean information (ultimately about Moriarty) that could be life-saving. Morally grey, certainly, but on "the side of the angels". John later kills the cabbie for the same reason - he correctly weighs Sherlock's life as more important.

Mary's not exactly the same sort of altruist as John and Sherlock. She was getting PAID to kill (we see more than once that Sherlock will work cases for free and often forgets about the check; he also routinely assists the unhoused population. In contrast, look at the disdain with which Mary spoke to Wiggins in disguise on her way to meet Sherlock - when she thought no one was watching - to compare their general attitudes toward those less fortunate), and it's implied that she did some horrific things and killed people much more innocent than Magnussen. He did have dirt on her, after all, and I'd hazard a guess that it was more extensive than her simply having worked as an assassin. Many of us believe she may have even been hired by Moriarty simply due to the timing of when she met John, and the way in which others described her character was less than rosy. ("Bad girl! Bad, bad girl!" <- Not what someone like Magnussen would say upon discovering Mary is out there killing only terrible people like some sort of avenging angel, is it?)

Sure, she despised Magnussen, but I feel like it's largely because of the fact that he was blackmailing HER. She may have had a moral objection to his overall modus operandi as well, but the problem is that we don't have enough evidence to support this. She could have implied so (dispassionately as she did) simply to gain sympathy from John and Sherlock, as she knows that's how THEY operate. In contrast, Sherlock hates Magnussen (and says so more than once, with emotion and intensity) because he preys on anyone different and uses their weaknesses against them (it hits a bit close to home for him, particularly considering the original time period during which the character was written/the danger at that time of being closeted).

POOR WRITING is the biggest reason many of us dislike Mary, not because she's an inconvenient female character that gets in the middle of the Johnlock dynamic. If she were more well written, I personally would have welcomed more of that sort of tension, and I DID like her before HLV. The poor way in which she was written tells us that she was NOT A GOOD PERSON.

What this post, though insightful, ultimately disregards is Mary shooting Sherlock. That's the #1 reason we hate her. Sherlock knew she was an assassin in Magnussen's office, but hadn't yet jumped to the conclusion that she was evil; it's why he confidently said "No, Mrs. Watson. You won't" ...Because someone like him or John WOULDN'T HAVE, even despite their lack of adherence to the law. Mary's reasoning for this (or, rather, the fabricated reason Sherlock handed to her that she didn't argue against) is completely ridiculous. Even if we believe her excuse at face value, that she didn't intend to kill him, the fact remains that he DID almost die. He flatlined. So even in the best-case scenario, she risked Sherlock's life (knowing he'd need an ambulance immediately only supports that fact). She also caused him immense physical pain and months of recovery for what was ultimately a selfish reason. And that's... okay?

If we use some logic, it's clear she DID try to kill Sherlock, and likely that Sherlock didn't want her to bolt and was worried about John's safety and the safety of the unborn baby should they have pursued her ("Keep your enemies closer" in a literal sense). MAGNUSSEN was the one reaching for his phone after Sherlock went down (watch the scene back, it's clear) and therefore the one more likely to have dialed 999, if only just to save his own skin and keep Sherlock alive for his sick little games.

Mary AGAIN brought her gun to meet Sherlock in the unfinished building. WHY?????? There is NO REASON to have done that if she didn't want him dead. She knew Sherlock wouldn't have shot her or tried to hill her. He was, quite literally, almost dead on his feet. She was cold and murderous to him up until John was revealed at the other end of the corridor, then suddenly she was emotional... after having not expressed any remorse to Sherlock just beforehand and having threatened to kill him. Yet again. I will ALWAYS contend that the initial shot was "surgery", sure, but not in the way poor Sherlock tried to argue. It was one designed to cause a slow death (rather than an instant one) to keep John distracted long enough not to pursue Sherlock's killer and catch her.

John killed the cabbie for Sherlock. Sherlock killed Magnussen FOR JOHN, even knowing that it would likely cost him his freedom and the man that he loved. Mary tried to kill Sherlock FOR HERSELF. There is a very clear difference here.

S4 writing is so baffling that I don't usually try to dissect it, but I do argue in one of my fics that Mary jumped in front of the bullet in the aquarium because she knew her past would eventually catch up to her and she'd end up dying the villain, if not at Mycroft's behest (there's no way he'd just let it all go, not for much longer - I've always thought he was waiting until she had the baby). Instead, she dies a self-sacrificial hero, redeeming herself in John's eyes. AND her death was like one final stab against Sherlock. She technically saved his life, but knew it could cost him John, especially because she knew about John's latent feelings for Sherlock and how his guilt for those feelings could easily convert into vitriolic hate as he blamed himself for Mary's death.

Mary's also the one who cruelly led Sherlock down his suicidal spiral with that dumb video of hers, USING HIS WEAKNESS and low-self-esteem against him (who else did that??), and the same one who threw in that "I know what you could become" line. She'd been aware ALL ALONG of what was going on between them. She played them, and I will always believe that. A sane person would have said, I don't know, "Talk to John and be honest with him for once in your life", not "Almost kill yourself so John is forced to save you and both of you go through even more unnecessary trauma." But what do I know?

In a situation in which he could have saved himself by shooting Mycroft or John, Sherlock instead chooses to shoot himself. If that doesn't show the contrast here, I don't know what does.

Listen carefully to what Mary says: “people like Magnussen should be killed, that’s why there are people like me”.  She’s the type of person who kills people like Magnussen.  And what type of person is Magnussen?  According to Sherlock he is ‘the Napoleon of blackmail’ who runs the Western world from Appledore, using the “greatest respository of sensitive and dangerous information anywhere in the world”.  And as long as Magnussen has that information “the personal freedom of anyone you have ever met is a fantasy”.  He’s not a very nice person, in fact, he’s a pretty nasty guy who turns Sherlock’s stomach.  When Magnussen flicks John’s face at Appledore he tells him “I know who Mary hurt and killed.  I know where to find people who hate her.  I know where they live.  I know their phone numbers.  I could phone them right now and tear your whole life down.”  He could set these people on Mary, and they obviously wouldn’t call the authorities to have her arrested and properly tried in a court of law.  They would hunt her down and kill her.  Probably not very nicely, because they are not-very-nice people.  So Mary may be right, people like Magnussen should be killed; that’s why there are people like her.

Who else has killed someone?

and then justified it as the killing of a not-very-nice person who deserved to die?

Remember that when John shot the cabbie Sherlock was voluntarily taking the pill - he wasn’t being coerced.  This means that John cannot avail himself of the “defense of other” defense to murder (akin to self-defense except that the homicide is committed to defend the life of another person, not yourself).  Sherlock confirms this when he tells John that he wasn’t really going to take the pill (true, John doesn’t believe this, but he does acknowledge that Sherlock was voluntarily risking his life to prove he was clever, because that’s how he gets his ‘kicks’).  John actually committed murder that night and then threw the murder weapon in the Thames.  Nevertheless, we love it when they giggle at the crime scene and then go off to dinner together. 

Also remember that after John shoots the cabbie Sherlock tortures him to force him to reveal Moriarty’s name telling him “you’re dying, but there’s still time to hurt you”.

Finally, remember who actually does kill Magnussen:

So don’t be too judgmental of Mary.  Both John and Sherlock have committed murder to save each other.  I don’t hear anybody criticizing them for doing this - in fact they are praised for doing so.  So why the double-standard when it comes to Mary?  Is it because we don’t know her back-story?  Sherlock has deduced that Mary was an intelligence agent, but he does not know what country she was serving. By her blonde hair I suppose we are to assume she is Russian, but that could be a red herring.  Sherlock trusts her, maybe, because, like him, she is on the ‘side of the angels’, even if she isn’t one herself. 

The fandom shouldn’t complain when John Watson’s wife turns out to be an assassin, because if the fandom likes Sherlock Holmes, and the fandom likes John Watson, then it is, indeed, what the fandom likes.

[queerholmcs]

i am NOT giving y'all "sherlock literally restarted his heart and came back to life at the mention of john watson's name, and more specifically, at the thought of john watson being in danger and his wife being a threat" because (1) it's far too long to fit in one of these boxes and (2) do you take me for an idiot? i know none of you will vote for anything else against that.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

stephy bephy baby baby girl, um

any list noone asked for yet but you have?

ASFSADF I LOVE when y'all use silly names for me!

You KNOW I do!! Here's today's that been in my drafts for a few months! Enjoy!!

Please note that because so many of these fics are from my old lists, they will be FFNet links, so if you have them on AO3, let me know, but otherwise let me know if any links don't work.

POV SHERLOCK 3rd PERSON Pt. 4: ANGST / ANGSTY FLUFF or BAMF FICS Pt. 2

See also:

POV Sherlock 1st & 2nd Person

POV Sherlock 3rd Person Pt. 1: Fluff

POV Sherlock 3rd Person Pt 2: Hurt/Comfort & Whump

POV Sherlock 3rd Person Pt 3: Angst/Angsty Fluff or BAMF Fics

Voices by fizzingweaselbee (T, 607 w., 1 Ch. || Angst, Mental Turmoil, Suicidal Ideations) – "We would never do that to John Watson."

The Hollow Man by HHarris (G, 639 w., 1 Ch. || John’s Chair, Introspection, Sherlock’s Big Feelings™, Post TRF, Angst, Emotional Turmoil, POV Sherlock, Pining / Sad Sherlock) – Still reeling from the apparent loss of his one and only friend, Sherlock returns to 221B for the first time after the events of The Reichenbach Fall.

Once Upon A Time by ProfessorSquirrell (T, 908 w., 1 Ch. || Family, Snippets of Life, Romance, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Implied Drug Use, Angst with Happy Ending) – There is a room in Sherlock's mind palace where nothing gets deleted. And it looks like this...

Bands by dragonQuill907 (T, 1,017 w., 1 Ch. || Established Relationship, POV Sherlock, Anxious Sherlock) – “Her wedding ring. Ten years old at least. The rest of her jewelry has been regularly cleaned, but not her wedding ring. State of her marriage right there. The inside of the ring is shinier than the outside – that means it’s regularly removed. The only polishing it gets is when she works it off her finger.”

The Other Shoe by thewaitwasworthitlove (NR, 1,053 w., 1 Ch. || Pining Sherlock, Angst, URT, Post-TSo3) - Sherlock realizes how deep in love he has fallen for John. Only Sherlock Holmes would manage to be more shattered than crystal dropped on concrete.

The Signs of Loss by LitLocked (NR, 1,103 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TSo3, Pining Sherlock, Self Reflection, Implied Drug Use, Angst, Hard Pining, Hurts Like Hell) – Sherlock's internal monologue after he comes back from the wedding.

Ode to a Well-Worn Chair by hogwartswitch (G, 1,274 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TSo3, John’s Chair, Angst, Love Confessions, Mind Palace) – Takes place the night Sherlock left John's wedding early. Why did he move John's chair and where did he move it?

Left In The Ashes by zoltargirl (T, 1,497 w., 1 Ch. || Angst, MCD, Angry Sherlock, Brutal Violence) – Rage is a unique quality in all human beings. In Sherlock Holmes, it's terrifying.

The Two of Us Against the World by slashscribe (T, 1,617 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TAB, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Drug Addiction, Anxious Sherlock, Angsty Fluff) – John is there to take care of Sherlock as he comes down from his overdose in The Abominable Bride. Set immediately after the tarmac, back in 221B.

Giveaway Fic #9 - Angsty Sick Fic/Sherlock is Sick by ConsultingPurplePants (T, 1,734 w., 1 Ch. || Sick Fic, Hypothermia) – The next time he awakens is even more chaotic. Two doctors are shouting at each other in the corner, and John is holding his hand so tightly Sherlock is worried he’ll break it. Part 9 of 1000 Tumblr Followers Giveaway Fics

BBCSH 'Poor Mary' by tigersilver (M, 1,839 w., 1 Ch. || HLV Fic, Canon Compliant, Sherlock Whump / Mary Shot Sherlock, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Pining Sherlock, Hospitalization, Missing Scene, Sherlock POV) – As the tin says above, this is a missing scene, set directly after Sherlock awakens in hospital after having been shot by his best mate's wife. Minor angst, some pining, nothing nasty; please don't be alarmed unduly.

Dying Changes Everything by whitchry9 (K+, 1,919 w., 1 Ch || Sherlock POV, Suicidal Ideation, Near-Death, Hospital, Sherlock Whump, Gunshot, Unhappy/Ambiguous Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Friendship) – Sherlock is having an existential crisis and wants to have a near death experience like John did to gain some perspective. “Shoot me John!” he insisted, gesturing to himself. John just looked at him. “Are you completely mad?” 

L'Esprit D'Escalier by TheSoulOfAStrawberry (K, 2,011 w., 1 Ch. || Ace Sherlock, Romance, Hurt / Comfort, Pining) – A lack of understanding leads to a misunderstanding, which in turn leads to two confused men dealing with something they should have sorted out earlier, rather than on John's wedding day.

Stay by sussexbound (M, 2,067 w., 1 Ch. || Post TAB, Suicidal Ideation Mention, Implied / Referenced Drug Use, Kissing, Love Confessions, Frottage, Coming in Pants) –  “Why? Why did you do it? Hmm…?” He takes a deep breath, waits, lets it out again. “Look at me.” There’s no denying him when he takes this tone. “Why did you kill him? Hmm…? For her? After…” A muscle twitches in the corner of John’s eye, and he clamps his jaw down tightly, swallows and sniffs a little before continuing. “For her? After everything she’s done?” “For you.” Before he can even stop himself. Just like that. 

The Deafening Silence by occasionally-maybe-never (T, 2,238 w., 1 Ch. || Angst, Major Character Death, Post-TRF) – 'Sherlock hopes fiercely that John can hear him, as sometimes coma patients can. He knows that John will understand, that his admission of love isn't a grand, sweeping romantic statement, but simply an expression of truth.' When Mycroft retrieves Sherlock to bring him home, it's not to John having dinner, but to John on his death bed.

BBCSH 'How To Save A Life' by tigersilver (T, 2,784 w., 1 Ch. || First Kiss, Angsty Schmoop, Requited Love) – Pining, requited, and unabated spates of 'first kiss' fluff. Post Mary, AU, mildly cracky. John lays a smooch on Sherlock's nape in passing. The world does that thing it does when it wobbles and Sherlock practically falls off his own pins. Part 1 of 'How To...'

In My Life (and dreams, you take my breath away) by Nina36 (NR, 2,847 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TRF/TEH, Angst, Pining Sherlock) – The first time he had dreamt about John he had been in Peru. He had been “dead” a little over a month, squatting in a tiny rented room, the heat and the stains on the walls making him slightly claustrophobic. It had been a nice dream: John and he eating take away Chinese in their kitchen, a song coming from Mrs. Hudson’s radio downstairs, something about friends and lovers and how no one compared with him, his mind supplied in his dream.

Museums and Laboratories by RhododendronPonticum (T, 3,004 w., 1 Ch. || Romance, Angst, Obsessive Sherlock, Anxious Sherlock, Anxiety/Panic Attack, Separation Anxiety, Doctor John, Co-Dependent Sherlock) – If Sherlock's kitchen was his laboratory, then his bedroom was his museum.

It Wasn't Just the Mistletoe by Irrevocably_Sherlocked (E, 3,593 w., 1 Ch. || Christmas Fluff, Mistletoe, First Kiss / Time, Frottage, Masturbation, Come as Lube) – Sherlock and John just stood there, seemingly frozen. Sherlock was desperately trying to think of a way out of this. There was no way he could kiss John, even a small kiss, and not have him know immediately how he felt. Sherlock could lie, and fake and sham, but there was no way he could hide this.

Anticlockwise (Ask Time) by TheBookshelfDweller (G, 3,752 w., 1 Ch. || Metaphorical, Angst, Time, Unhappy Ending) – "Let me tell you the truth: Sherlock Holmes cannot beat Time." Time only flows in one direction, and we are stranded in it, carried by currents we mostly never notice are whirling around us. No one can walk backwards along the timeline, and maybe that’s for the best, because what if someone could? Where would they go? Or, better say, to when would they go? Most importantly who would they leave behind (or is it ahead)? In the end, despite the truth, Sherlock Holmes decides to fight Time, for John, for himself - for himself with John.

Bolt Holes by PostcardsfromTheoryland (T, 4,177 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt / Comfort, Angst, Drug Mentions, Pining Sherlock) – John asked, one evening, if Sherlock liked her. To which he grudgingly had to say yes, and John said he was glad. Because John was going to propose to her.

But Tonight You Belong to Me by esplanade (T, 4,296 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff & Angst, Pining, Stag Night, Sad Ending) – “You. It's always you. John Watson, you keep me right.”

In Good Hands by Haelia (K+, 4,384 w., 1 Ch. || Adventure, Hurt/Comfort, John Whump) – John and Sherlock are stranded deep in the wilderness with no phones and no foreseeable escape. With John wounded, Sherlock fears they will die here: in the cold, in the damp, in the woods. 

London's Ghost by JustlikeWater (K+, 5,642 w., 1 Ch. || Tragedy, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Post-TRF AU, Sherlock POV) – "Today, it's been weeks since Sherlock died. Other times, years. He doesn't know for sure, though. Time passes differently for the dead" 

Recovery by thesignsofserbia (T, 5,948 w., 1 Ch. || HLV-Fix It / Rewrite, Villain Mary, Pining Sherlock, Major Character Injury, Scars, Self-Hatred, POV Sherlock, Doctor John, Friends to Lovers) – Set after the confrontation with Mary, and Sherlock's cardiac arrest, John stays at 221B to aid Sherlock's recovery, forcing them to confront wounds both old and new as they try to heal their damaged relationship.

I'll Be Fine by whitchry9 (T, 6,473 w., 21 Ch. || Hurt / Comfort, John Whump, Friendship, MCD, Heavy Angst) – John says he'll be fine, and Sherlock believes him. Until he can't any more. And it's awfully hard to forgive John for lying about something big like that, even if he didn't mean to. Not using warnings because spoilers, but there are some. 

The Death of Doubt by Gingerhermit (E, 6,584 w., 1 Ch. || Alternate Canon, BAMF John, POV Sherlock, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Hurt/Comfort, Angst/Drama, Meddling Mycroft) – Mycroft asks for John’s help in rescuing Sherlock from his Serbian captors.

Not Alone by taliapaxton (K+, 7,034 w., 1 Ch. || Angst, Friendship, MCD, Euthanasia) – Alone on the Water from Sherlock's point of view. Inspired by the wonderful fiction, "Alone on the Water"

Until I See the Sun by Vintage Tea Party (T, 8,194 w., 3 Ch. || Nightmares, Mild Whump, Friendship, Mild Violence, Angst) – After a particularly dangerous case, John suffers from night terrors. Will Sherlock be able to comfort him? Will he be able to find out what is really troubling John? 

Made for You by Raxicoricofallapatorious (K, 8,440 w., 1 Ch. || Android AU || Friendship, Sci-Fi, Sherlock Called Freak) – When John was shot in the shoulder he was decommissioned and his memory and personality was wiped. Sherlock was given the blank droid and he quickly learns that this droid is more than it seems. John just so happened to come back and no one can fathom how or why. Johnlock if you squint.

The Haunting of 221B Baker Street by earlgreytea68 (M, 10,388 w., 2 Ch. || Ghost AU || Post TRF, Halloween / Ghosts, Pining Sherlock, Ghost Sherlock, Stroppy Sherlock, Sherlock POV, First Kiss/Time, Angry Sex, Ghost Sex, Love Confessions, Open / Ambiguous Ending) – In which Sherlock Holmes is a ghost.

Johnlock Ficlet Collection by Irrevocably_Sherlocked (E, 11,505+ w. [WiP] || Random Ficlets, Pining, Angst, Fluff & Smut, Parentlock, AU’s, First Kiss, Character POV’s) - Just a collection of Johnlock ficlets, originally posted on my Tumblr page.

A Building of Bridges by Unique (K, 12,325 w. , 3 Ch. || Drama, Alternate First Meeting, John’s PTSD / Flashbacks, Mute John, Dialogue-Heavy, Caring Sherlock, Friendship) – No one would ever send Sherlock in to diffuse a stand-off; but on one unlikely day, that's exactly what happened. "Congratulations, Lestrade," he called out sarcastically. "You're traumatizing a war veteran."

The Nutcracker by Odamaki (T, 13,758 w., 7 Ch. || Nutcracker AU ||  Christmas, Dark Magic, Dolls) – Sherlock is unimpressed with Uncle Rudy's present. A doll? What does he want with a doll?

The Burning of the Leaves by blueink3 (M, 15,915 w., 3 Ch. || Post S4, Angst, Reichenbach, Parentlock, Past Jolto, Idiot John, Sherlock’s a Mess, Puppies, Fluff, Possessive / Jealous Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock POV, Matchmaker Sholto, Melancholic Feelings, Emotional Sherlock, Domesticity, Love Confessions in the Rain, Kissing in the Rain, Pet Names) – After the events of series 4, Major Sholto invites John and Sherlock to lunch one day. It nearly proves to be too much for their tenuous relationship as the past haunts the present, putting the future that Sherlock so desperately wants at risk.

Let's Make a Bed Out in the Rain by theimprobable1 (M, 17,664 w., 11 Ch. || Pining Sherlock, Angst & Fluff, First Kiss, Unrequited, Jealous Sherlock, Protective Sherlock) – John is devastated after his long-term girlfriend leaves him. Sherlock helps him through it.

A Shipless Ocean by myswordfishmind (M, 22,135 w., 4 Ch. || Post-TRF, John has a Kid, Angst, Reunion, Falling in Love, Open Ending) – Ten years after the fall Sherlock goes back to London to find that John no longer lives there. Instead, he resides in a seaside town, a widower, and the father of a seven year old son. Now, Sherlock must struggle with the fact that there may no longer be a place for him in this new world.

A Quiet Life by DiscordantWords (M, 25,176 w., 6 Ch. || Post S4, Retirement, POV Sherlock, Awkwardness, Established Relationship, Family Dynamics, Minor Character Death, Questionable Parenting Choices, Non-Linear Narrative, 20 Year Old Rosie, Meddling Mycroft, Pining Sherlock, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Angst, Sherlock Whump) – There had been three days of silence and a funeral. Sherlock had the terrible feeling that whatever happened next would depend, entirely, on him.

The Wisteria Tree by SilentAuror (E, 29,773 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S3, Emotional Love Making, Amnesia/Memory Loss, Sherlock Loves John So Much, Sherlock POV, Romance, Angst with Happy Ending, First Times, Hurt/Comfort, Est. Rel., Retirement) – Sherlock wakes up from a month-long coma only to discover that he has no memory of the previous six years to his own shock as well as John's...

The Winter Garden by Callie4180 (T, 31,213 w., 13 Ch. || Post-S4, Retirement, Christmas, Slow Burn, Grown-Up Rosie, Parenthood, Rosie’s Cat, Angst with Happy Ending, Holidays, Beekeeping, Magical Realism, Sherlock POV, Sherlock’s Violin, Future Fic, Sussex, Honey, Magical Healing Honey, Love Confessions, Sherlock’s Scar, First Kiss, Touching) – As Sherlock nears the end of his career, he's given the gift of a cottage in Sussex. The honey from the beehives out back is amazing. Almost...magical.

The Unfinished Letters by SilentAuror (E, 37,391 w., 1 Ch. || Post S3 / S3 / HLV Fix it, Angst with Happy Ending, Romance, Infidelity, Depression, Case Fic, POV Third Person Sherlock, Love Confessions, Pining Sherlock, Letters) – A fire at Baker Street leads John to read something he was never intended to see: a notebook of half-written, unfinished letters Sherlock wrote during his time away...

(Never) Turn Your Back to the Sea by DiscordantWords (M, 39,968 w., 7 Ch. || Post S4 Fix It || Grief / Mourning, Victor Trevor, Friendship, Sherlock is Not Okay, Nightmares/Flashbacks/Panic Attacks, Parentlock, Pining Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, John Comes Home) – Baker Street is very much the same. Only different. And Sherlock is just trying not to drown.

A Goose Quill Dipped in Venom by Polyphony (M, 52,748 w., 16 Ch. || Celebrity John AU || Alternate First Meeting, TV Host John, Supermodel Mary, Character Death, Mystery, Romance, Case Fic, First Kiss/Time, Meddling Mycroft, Drug Abuse, Doctor John, PDA, Deductions, POV Sherlock, Toplock, Sexual Tension, Angry/Rough Sex, Hopeful Ending, Asperger’s Sherlock) – Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective, is called in to a very ordinary although brutal murder. Something is badly out of tune with the whole scenario and Sherlock finds himself becoming more and more obsessed with the crime - and also with the victim.

You Have Drawn Red From My Hands by J_Baillier (T, 67,085 w., 17 Ch. || Three Garridebs, Heavy John Whump, Hurt / Comfort, Pining, Heavy Angst, Case Fic/Adventure, Slow Burn, Sick Fic, Injury, Guilt & Depression, Just Talk Already Please, Medical Realism, PTSD) –  John getting injured leads Sherlock on a path of guilt and revelations.

Just To Hold You Close by sussexbound (E, 70,841 w., 18 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting, Sherlock POV, ASD Sherlock, PTSD John, Demisexual Sherlock, Bisexual John, Cuddling/Snuggling, Platonic Cuddling, Enthusiastic Consent, Bed Sharing, Love Confessions, First Kiss/Time, Sexual Tension, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Cuddle Negotiations, For a Case Until It Isn’t, Hair Petting, Sexual Negotiation, Anxiety, Trust Issues, Slow Burn, Panic Attacks, Frottage, Hand/Blow Jobs, Referenced Self Harm / Abuse / Suicidal Ideation, First Kiss/Time, Anal) – When a woman is murdered and the last person to see her alive is recently invalided army vet turned reluctant (and prickly) professional cuddler, John Watson, Sherlock Holmes is pulled into a world of intimacy and intrigue he never could have imagined. John is a conundrum and mystery: frank yet reserved, tender yet angry, open yet afraid. Sherlock is instantly drawn into his orbit, and begins to feel and desire things he never has before.

Bakers with Benefits by Raina_at (E, 88,130 w., 14 Ch. || Great British Bake Off AU || Strangers to Lovers, Switchlock, Friends with Benefits, Mentions of Alcoholism / Past Drug Use, Banter, Flirting, Fluff, Light Angst, Semi-Public Sex, Past Sherlock/Victor, Mutual Pining, POV Sherlock, Obsessive Sherlock, John’s Bum) – Sherlock Holmes has a successful YouTube baking channel, but what he really wants is his own bakery. When an old friend sends him a call for the very first Great British Bake Off, he seizes the opportunity to finally win a sponsor for his bakery. Here's the plan: Win Bake Off, get the bakery, don't fall in love with the handsome Army doctor at the neighbouring station. Easy.

The Summer Boy by khorazir (T, 94,706 w., 6 Ch. || Post S3/Post TAB/Alternate S4, Friends to Lovers, POV Sherlock, Flashbacks, Bullying, 1980′s Kid Sherlock, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Inexperienced Sherlock, Grief/Mourning, Pining Sherlock, Case Fic, Sherlock’s Past, Awkward Conversations, Anxious Sherlock) – About half a year after the fateful events at Appledore, Sherlock and John embark on a private case in Sussex. For Sherlock, it’s a journey into his past, bringing up memories both happy and sad that he has locked away for almost thirty years. For John, it means coming to terms with the present – and a potential future with Sherlock. Part 1 of the The Summer Boy series

Definitions by siennna (T, 101,528 w., 12 of ? Ch. || Dev. Rel., Pining, Fluff and Romance, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Fluff, Cuddles, Girl’s Night, Texting, Virgin Sherlock, Drunk Sherlock, Background Mollstrade, Hair Petting, Laying on Lap) – Sherlock’s journey in defining his flat mate and stumbling through the muddled world of emotion. {{This feels complete; the chapter count is listed as ? but I feel like it is done}}

Breakable by MissDavis (E, 117,627 w., 34 Ch. || Established Relationship, Major Character Injury, Fluff/Angst, Depression, Paralysis/Disabilities, Hurt/Comfort, POV Sherlock, Mental Health Issues, Drug Use, Happy-ish Ending) – After John is seriously injured, Sherlock struggles to figure out how to help him, keep himself sane, and maybe, just maybe, get their life back to the way it's supposed to be. Part 1 of Breakable Not Broken

[voidrunners]

mori/lyric. (s)he/it. adult. hlv sideblog. untagged spoilers.

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[possiblyimbiassed]

This meta is truly brilliant, @notagarroter ! I love how you analyse the central questions of the show, ’the final problem’, and I think it’s a perfectly sound analysis at both plot level and meta level. Sherlock constantly avoiding death and becoming a mythic hero, the predestination and the writers not being allowed to make him into a mortal character who would feel truly alive. My remaining question marks are rather on a subtextual, metaphorical level, which still has consequences for how I interpret the show on the meta level.

I totally agree that S4 ends in a time loop where Sherlock Holmes as a character is immortal, he and Watson keep running around solving crimes, 221B is restored and ”it’s always 1895”. There is no actual ending, so the crime solving at 221B can go on forever to the audience’s (supposed) satisfaction. I think this apparent stagnation might be the previously announced ’consequence’ that Mofftiss have taken the narrative to. And they have done it with countless references to other Holmes adaptations, but also with a lot of references to iconic, also immortal, characters like James Bond. Not to mention the increasing amount of references to popular horror movies with supernatural protagonists.

But they also let John say at the beginning of TFP that 221B Baker Street is a place for “the desperate, the terrified, the ones with nowhere else to run”. Is that a metaphor for us, the audience? Do we expect the familiar so much that character development is to be left aside? Are the ”stories, the legends” so important that we refuse to allow the characters to feel like real, living people?

A strong feeling i got from the ending of TFP was that 221B has now ceased to be a starting point for Sherlock and John. John doesn’t seem to live there any more and - in spite of little Rosie coming to visit - the former calm domesticity from the start of the show is gone. The 221B we’re left with at the end of TFP is a restored place, still with a smiley face shot with bullet holes and a bison skull with its ears plugged with headphones. But now the place is spinning round and round in circles - ”nothing is new under the sun” - and the characters are reduced to stereotypes.

Mofftiss have taken their story to such an absurd ’ending’ that it makes me suspect that this is not in fact the story ending they would prefer. And it’s certainly not how Conan Doyle’s Holmes stories ended either. In ACD canon Holmes and Watson do get older. The narrative spans over decades, starting with a young Holmes in STUD and ending with an elderly one in LAST. By LAST, Holmes has retired, left 221B and is living as a bee keeper in Sussex. Where Watson lives is not revealed. The very last story ends with Holmes and Watson driving away in a car together with Watson at the wheel and a big check to cash out. They’re heading for London - not to Baker Street, but (judging by Holmes’ words) towards a luxury hotel.

In my view, BBC Sherlock is - among other things - a satire. Not so much a satire, perhaps, of the canon but of all the adaptations that have been produced and - perhaps specifically - the kind of society they reflect. Hasn’t Moffat said something along the lines of ’if you don’t think you’re correcting everyone else with an adaptation you shouldn’t do it’?

In TFP the word ‘satire’ is even spelled out by Mycroft (who is played by Gatiss, thereby representing the writers): “The trouble with uniforms and name badges is people stop looking at faces. You’d be better off with clown outfits - at least they’d be satirically relevant.” And clowns do appear in TFP, as well as they did in TSoT, right? We also have the ventriloquist dummy flashing by at the end of TFP, a phenomenon also shown by Moriarty in TGG, referring to John, and in HLV. Which also seems ’satirically relevant’ to me (X); are we supposed to focus on the characters as if they were living, breathing people, or are they just ’dummies’ that move the stories forwards? (Are the Sherlock Holmes stories basically plot-driven or character-driven?)

This video (X) touches, I think, on the apparently glaring problems with BBC Sherlock on a meta level. It is (in my opinion) a very harsh and in some senses quite unfair critique of BBC Sherlock, and in particular of Moffat’s writing style. The youtuber claims that the show is basically rubbish because of a) the focus on Sherlock’s character rather than Holmes’ crime solving, b) the fact that Sherlock’s supposed logical reasoning is often fallacious, c) the eternal cliffhangers which don’t permit any story to stand on its own, but forces us to watch the next installment and d) the incapacity to finally tie up any loose ends.

While I could absolutely agree with these points on a surface plot level, I think they also miss out on various essential facts: that this show is actually named ”Sherlock”, which puts the emphasis on the character, that his relationship with John Watson is the main focus of the show and that it’s packed with subtext and metaphors. And also that we can clearly trace a development in the main character, from someone who shys away from Sentiment to someone who is now ready to embrace it, recognising his true self.

The big thing still missing is how Sherlock is going to act upon his new discoveries. And that simply can’t be answered by an ending that only claims ’business as usual’ for eternity, no matter how comfortable this may feel to great parts if the audience. And it certainly can’t be answered with Ghost!Mary’s idea that ”who you really are doesn’t matter”, because then all Sherlock’s painful confrontations with his own background - from a watsonian as well as a doylist perspective - must have been useless.

But if this show is indeed paroding other adaptations’ perception of canon’s stories and characters, taking the prejudices to their extremes with the bleak, surrealistic TFP where ”it’s always 1895”, then one might expect that there’s somehow more to come that will let Sherlock live a believable life in a modern world. Can Samarra be avoided? Maybe not, but in the mean time we could at least be invited to go to Sumatra, as Sherlock has suggested, couldn’t we? ;-)

@raggedyblue @sarahthecoat @sagestreet @gosherlocked @ebaeschnbliah

The Eternal Problem: A Meditation on Mortality in Sherlock S4

When asked about S4 during the promotional lead-up, Moftiss repeatedly said this new series would be about one thing: consequences.  Now that we stand on the other side of S4, what do we think they meant?  It obviously wasn’t legal consequences for shooting Magnussen, or physical consequences of overdosing on drugs.   

In this meta, I argue that TAB and S4 are above all about the moral, metaphysical, and narrative consequences of Sherlock faking his death during the Reichenbach Fall—an act which continues to reverberate through the story two series later, both for the characters and, significantly, for the writers.

Keep reading

[lololollywrites]

It's here! My second FTH entry for @shakespearelovedladymacbeth. I was going to wait until it was completely finished to post, but I'm mostly there... the once-weekly updates should keep me motivated and in check! Chapter 1 of 5 is now available, with updates to come ON FRIDAYS.

Rated E, but the reason won't come until Chapter 4. ;)

COLD INSIDE Sherlock has just shot Magnussen, and John feels adrift. Everything is wrong. He's fairly sure he hates his wife, too. The regrets are too numerous for him to count. Sherlock is in prison, his ultimate fate unknown and the isolation slowly (or, rather, worryingly quickly) whittling away at his sanity. Mycroft is equally untethered, scrambling for options. Perhaps John can help. And perhaps, just perhaps, they can manage to save Sherlock and rid themselves of Mary in one fell swoop. (HLV fix-it, 5,076 words/?)

Excerpt:

Mycroft just blinked at him, head tilted. “Of course you have a future. A life sentence with a tariff of 25-30 years, as you well know.” John groaned. “Jesus.” “Brilliant as always, John. I fully agree. Hardly a future, dear brother. You’ll find I end up committed… elsewhere by summer. At least being housed amongst the general population would be mentally stimulating.” “You’d be murdered within a day,” spat John. His eyes were closed, lips pursed; he appeared to be in physical pain. “Quite,” winced Mycroft. “We cannot let that happen.” Sherlock narrowed his eyes at Mycroft, then gestured both at the security cameras and to the officers behind the glass. “I can’t imagine you’d reveal any sort of nefarious plot while so carefully surveilled. Nor are you capable of perverting the course of justice within your beloved Crown Court. Not you, in bed as you are with the government.” Mycroft leaned forward onto his elbows, almost hissing as he spoke. “Parliament, Sherlock, that means I have access to Parliament. And that my plan is wholly legal, if all proceeds as anticipated. Though I find your behavior alarming. You’d normally have expected such an intervention. For me to ‘work my magic’, as you so often say when you expect me to clean up your messes. You’ve not been alert. Not focusing. Not thinking. You’ve been–” “–In prison, yes. Well done. Thank you for the reminder.”

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