#his upbringing was pretty sheltered in a weird way so there's a lot of stuff he doesn't know

[blackblackheart]

15 pls :]

Rico used to say whatever he felt like with no filter. He still does, depending on the situation, but now that he tends to have more actual conversations than he used to (as opposed to taunting or sassing off or generally being a contrarian to get a rise out of people) he tends to pick over his words more carefully in an attempt not to sound stupid.

[spiders-in-the-valley]

omg more questions....... (I'm about a month late ooops)

This'll be a long one ^^

Who has a crush on farmer Julian? Honestly? Not who you'd've expected!

When considering the stuff that I draw on here, it would seem like Elliott would be an obvious choice. However, it actually took a long while to get there!

At first it was just Leah for their shared love of forageables and nature, as well as his enthusiasm for her art and being supportive in her personal life!

The others like Elliott and Haley bloomed much later once Julian figured out that Linus and Leah are kind of outliers when it comes to being gifted forageables, and not the norm for this area.

Elliott in particular used to view him with polite disdain at first because he kept handing him garbage. It didn't really feel like he was being listened to or considered...

Though this changed once the dots connected for Julian between squid ink, duck feathers, and Elliott only writing on paper (+ additional nudges like the 7th secret note). It's the passion, it's the dedication where Julian came all the way to the beach to visit him despite rain, thunder, and snow, it's the fact that he's also weird, it's the earnest expression of his thoughts and emotions to the best of his ability, it's the oddly vivid yet strange comparisons he *does* come up with, etc. etc.

It was a lot easier to appreciate once he did feel listened to.

In the case of Haley it's only once she started seeing the value of field work, through which Julian was able to give her her favorites, that she started paying attention at all. Sadly by that time he was already married </3

Is it obvious?

It's hard to say! Julian is notoriously bad at noticing these things, for better or worse (case in point: Elliott)

Who does Julian have a crush on?

I will have to preface this section with the following:

Julian is a HOPELESS. PANROMANTIC. He falls for ANYONE who was nice to him.

Appearance is not a factor in this at all, however. He's strictly a personality guy.

There were some he fell for harder than the others, though:

Leah! She's nice, loves nature and the outdoors, and was one of the first who made him feel welcome in Pelican town as one of his very first friends. He wasn't quite sure how to approach her, though, especially after she'd just very recently broken up with someone else...

He fell for Elliott hard though. He was also new to the town, they're both oddballs, he manages to perfectly describe thoughts and feelings Julian struggles to find the right words for, he's nice, he's honest, he's talented, he also didn't have all that many connections to people in town while most of the others had families here, he's friends with Leah, etc. etc. etc.

The similarities in their situations in particular hit the right spot for Julian - there was somewhere to fit in, he wasn't alone in this situation; the idea of belonging somewhere is a huge deal for him, considering that he's been an outcast pretty much everywhere else due to his sheltered upbringing.

Emily had similar reasons to Leah where she was also one of the first to welcome him to the Pelican town. She's been nice to him the whole time too, but they just didn't really talk all that much. Sam and Penny are pretty much the same.

Is it obvious?

YES, if you know what to look for. He's a man of action and by Yoba he takes a lot of those.

Who does Julian date?

It takes a little while for him to figure out that it was love and not just a really good friendship, but once he did he rushed down from Pierre's with a bouquet held behind him, ignoring the gossip between onlookers, all the way to the other side of town to hand it to Elliott on the bridge gazing over the sunset.

By then he was already fully dedicated, so he hasn't had anyone else before or since then.

Thusly, Elliott is also the one he ended up marrying! Frankly, Julian is thankful that the customs here regarding both occasions were nonverbal.

PLATONIC!

Julian's inner circle mainly contains the pre-existing friend group between Elliott, Leah, and Willy, but he's also close friends with Linus and Krobus. All of them are less connected to the rest of the townsfolk and he feels he has shared experiences with all of them.

A bonus is Kent, who he sees in the same PTSD support group.

Julian has a neutral cordial relationship with pretty much everyone else. They're nice to talk to but even after living there for so long he can't shake the feeling that he's not exactly a part of what they have going on...

Julian doesn't really hate anyone and it's really difficult to get him to do so. Similarly, Julian isn't really doing anything that warrants hatred from the others, either.

However, Julian dislikes Pierre the most out of anyone in Pelican Town, especially after that Special Order. Additionally, he's seen manipulation from his past experiences and he couldn't help but feel like his rally to the community in the Community Center was disingenuous somehow...

Morris is in the same ballpark for him.

Julian has complicated feelings about Caroline, Pam, Robin, and Demetrius. The one thing in common? The questionable treatment of their kids. He doesn't like that 3/4 of them are (supposedly) not supportive of their kids' self-expression (which is important to him), but they're not evil either.

Sandy and the Dwarf don't really know him that well. Nor do the kids. It's unlikely that they'll get very close to him, either.

I struggled with the cave scenario but I'd like you to know that I rolled Emily, Sandy, Clint, Linus, and Pam.

They're trapped in the Skull Cavern...

Howdy farmer friends I have a question for you!! So I was taking a shower and started thinking about the relationships the farmer has and how romance works and all that sweet stuff. So I gotta ask, what are your farmer’s relationships in town?

———

Romantic: (can include any existing adult characters! Obviously no Jas, Vincent, and Leo ♥️)

Who has a crush on your farmer? Is it obvious?

Who does your farmer have a crush on? Is it also obvious?

Who does your farmer date/have a fling with?

Who do they end up with?

Platonic: (can include all characters 🥰)

Who is in the farmer’s inner circle? The closest people to them?

Who does the farmer have a neutral relationship with?

Who HATES the farmer and does the farmer hate them back? Also does your farmer hate anyone at all?

Who has never met the farmer and likely never will?

Bonus! Your farmer has become trapped in the mines with a group of townies! (Spin for 5 people)

Who are the townies? And is the situation anyone’s fault?

The farmer was elected the leader, but would anyone try to take over?

Who the best person they could have asked to be trapped with? (Is it friendly? Romantic? Or skill driven?)

Who is the most unbearable person in the group and who the one holding everyone together?

Who is the most likely to die if left unattended by the farmer? And who would likely survive alone?

Who is the one that loses their cool first?

Who is one that will get eaten first?

[13eyond13]

I'll try to keep it short because you're very kind but I'm becoming annoying... I actually like Soichiro. It's his morals I cannot stand. In fact, in line with his, I like Matsuda's and even Light's variations more, even with all the darkness they entail, because they're more critical. I adore L and find him relatable, but I'm not so sure if I'd like him as a person in real life, and yet I again like his morals more than Soichiro's. I still think Soichiro is generally a better person than any of the others. I still dislike his morals the most. When I say at the opposite end of Soichiro in the moral spectrum is where Near stands I'm not talking just about my personal liking, but as I interpret their views on morality. Maybe there's some detail of the manga I'm forgetting (I truly have to reread it), but Soichiro didn't seem very critical about... anything, while Near states something like "even if god came and told me this is good and this is bad and this is The Truth I'd still consider and come to my own conclusion". I like that. I care less about someone getting a moral with what I may consider a degree of grey if they do that. I myself have very strong morals that nonetheless have degrees of grey; strong doesn't mean pure. My grey and someone else's grey might be very different. But I've developed them, not accepted them blindly. Near of course, Mello, L, and even Light and Matsuda do this, but Soichiro generally doesn't. And I dislike that greatly. In fact, I think I'd find him kind in real life, and likeable, but I'd not really like him because I can't really bring myself to like someone like that even when they're kind and compassionate and good. I'm already talking more than I intended but I'll try to point out what bothers me of his attitude.

Soichiro is very very anti Kira, but he's working for a government with the death penalty and he doesn't seem to consider that even for a moment. For him, that the government does it is justifiable but monstrous if a person does it. He doesn't really have a justification, it's just like that because it's as it is. He's very against L's methods, buy L uses people who were going to die anyway at the very moment he uses them either way because of the death penalty, because of the government. From a government pov, if the government were to do what L does, it'd be something terrible. From an individual pov? Not so much. It's ugly, but it's beyond himself whether that people die or not, and his decisions are easily justifiable from an individual pov: they're going to die irrevocably, that very day at that very time, and he is using what he can to solve a very complicated case that is taking many lives, and he even might use the moral support of "I'm giving the prisoners the chance of choosing, with the potential reward of lifelong imprisonment instead of death". And again, while a government doing that is terrible, it's not as terrible for a person. L is a private detective, an individual. People can be fallible. Governments shouldn't. What L does might be justifiable, if ugly, for a person, but it would be unforgivable for the government to do. But the government lies on L and it's L who takes the slander of the rest of the Task Force. And that's what Soichiro doesn't see, and that's what bugs me. Soichiro sides with the government and the laws no matter what, no matter if they're terrible and are actually the cause if indirectly of the terrible things L is able to do (I'd have to reread to be completely comfortable affirming this, but Soichiro's attitude towards the government reminds me a bit of Mikami and Misa to some extent).

Soichiro hates Kira, and hates and criticises L's methods and his ruthlessness, but doesn't even consider for one moment the problem is not L. The problem is not the 24 yo boy/man, the problem is his government, that has the dead penalty and actually let's a private detective carry on with the investigation and do as he pleases (and I'm not even taking into consideration how L's upbringing and the lowkey if fun exploitation he was subrmited to have most probably influenced if not determined the way he acts in these cases, because while it's intriguing it'd feel like justifying L out of pity, and either way Soichiro doesn't know that; but I mention this because L's entire past at Wammy's, like the other children's, is another very terrible move from governments and adults in responsibility positions). The problem is Interpol, the governments in general, blatantly saying L is ruthless but not even setting rules when working with him. And I think it would actually have been very easy to stop L doing those things. Just change the rules of the game, tell him beforehand there are a few things he can't do. It's a game after all. Of course L would still exploit the moral and legal vacuums of the rules as he pleased, as one does when playing anything, but the government wouldn't have given him totally free way.

I'm not sure if I'm explaining myself very well. Years ago in a class I talked about the difference between personal vengeance and the death penalty. I feel this is similar. A person is fallible. A government should be able to stand over licit murder. L manipulating people to prove a point is ugly. A government doing that or letting someone free way to do whatever is terrible. L does whatever, and as an individual is not so horrible as it is that the governments internationally actually let him do whatever even knowing beforehand without setting rules. Soichiro sees this and it doesn't even cross his mind for a moment to criticise the government he's working with. Also, he considers his morals the best, which makes sense in a first person pov (why support x morals if you don't think they're the best? I'm not critisising this), but he's very... imposing about them, while as I say not being precisely the most critical thinker. That Soichiro is like this, morally (I'm not even talking about the policeman aspect though that's so often talked about in the fandom), makes a lot of sense to how Light ends up being Kira, and with how Matsuda thinks and acts. And I find that very intriguing, but I can't stand Soichiro's simplistic morals and his better-than-you attitude even though he's a generally good person. That's why I dislike his morals the most (of course you don't have to agree!). I don't stand by Near's morals either, but I like his "god could come and tell me and still I'd doubt" attitude. It's what makes gods mad in basically every mythology, but I love that kind of thought process. I'm very much like that too.

I'm so sorry this is so long. I tried to cut, but I got the impression it'd make it even less clear or more difficult to understand. Or maybe the lack of clarity lies precisely on how repetitive and long this is. I'd like to think English not being my first language has to do with this, but honestly the problem is most probably just me. I hope I made the point understandable enough, though. And thanks for your patience. I really liked that post of Near someone sent as an opinion and how you replied! Very interesting takes on both ends.

Hi again! You have some very thought-provoking points about it all, and don't worry, your English is excellent.

I loved Near's stance about these things as well, and that's something that really bothered me when growing up about some authority figures and institutions being really totalitarian and silencing of doubts or stances they deemed too negative or incorrect to voice aloud. I value having freedom of choice and the ability to think critically about everything immensely. Maybe it's because I went to a very strict and sheltering and weird little school as a child that tried very hard to indoctrinate me with a specific worldview, and always shamed and silenced anyone who disagreed or questioned them or felt like an outsider or wanted to have a different point of view. I remember relating the most to Matsuda on the task force when I first watched the show as a teen, because he was always speaking up with his devil's advocate questions or confusions. The way Soichiro and the others usually yell and scold and shame him for this bothered me a lot, because I wanted them to discuss things openly so I could see all the different sides of the arguments more clearly. Actually, I think this is a pretty culturally similar thing between Japan and Canada (where I am from). There's a strong emphasis on doing what's best for the entire group instead of just yourself, and being too controversial or outspoken or individualistic about certain things is often taboo and frowned upon as a big social faux pas. It's possibly quite a bit stronger pressure toward obedience and conformity and politeness in Japan in certain ways as well, but I don't know for sure as I haven't lived there myself.

I think Soichiro had a bit of nuance and flexibility with his morals and his stances in various instances throughout the plot, and to me he seemingly tries hard to see things from other angles during complicated moments in what must be one of the most difficult situations he could possibly face as both a police chief and a parent. But it's true he never seemed to doubt that upholding the laws already in place and the way his government punishes the convicted were the "correct" ways society should function. I think this series would be a really interesting one to discuss in a class that talks about stuff like justice and the death penalty and law and ethics and such for how many of these things it touches on in an entertaining and thought-provoking way!

[queen-erika-the-songful]

So did you watch Princess Diaries 2? What's your opinion on it, better or worse?

Oh shoot I did forget to post my thoughts. Thanks for reminding me!

Honestly, I think it's better than I remember in some parts, but worse in others.

TL;DR - Better than people nowadays are making out to be (or outright lying about it - looking at you, D**g W*lk*r) but also has some stuff that would've been better with a few extra re-writes. I definitely see why I watched this so much as kid and I really would love to see another follow-up.

1) There's a bit of continuity errors right off the bat - even though Mia was supposed to go back to Genovia at the end of the first movie, and we see her arrive there, she I guess went back to America to finish high school and college? All before she turned 21? I guess it's not too implausible if she worked hard enough, I just found that a bit weird.

2) So...I get the idea for the conflict but I just realized something - if the Nicholas Devereaux was an eligible member of the bloodline, then are he and Mia cousins? Who exactly is his uncle Viscout Mabrey related to that makes him related to the Renaldi line? How had the Genovian Parliament not seen this connection before? It's pretty confusing and makes the main romance a bit more "Um....." '

3) Going off of that, why didn't Parliament just make Nicholas and Mia get engaged to each other? That would've solved the problem for them and we still could have had the "enemies-to-lovers" thing everybody loves, but with a "forced engagement" trope thrown in.

3) I still love Anne Hathaway and Julie Andrews in these roles. They really know their characters and relationships to each other. Still a delight onscreen.

4) Honestly weird family ties aside Mia and Nicholas's romance is done pretty well for the "enemies-to-lovers" trope, and I'm usually not a big fan of that anyway. He starts to actually care for her fairly quickly (there's a hint of it after the horse incident, and then they both get jealous over their dates). I also like that they reconcile their romance at the end but still have Mia ascend unmarried.

5) Andrew deserves all the happiness. He really tried his hard to support Mia, even after the late night rendezvous scandal. I think if they went through with the marriage, they would have been close and fond of each other, like Clarisse and her husband.

6) I used to love the sleepover scene but aside from the "Crowing Glory" song (which still makes me cry) it rubs me the wrong way a little bit. It's cute that Mia invited princesses of all ages and countries, but I would've liked to see them really talk about what truly makes a princess instead of just focusing on "wacky sleepover stuff". I mean they could've even done both if they really wanted to keep the silly mattress surfing

7) Joe and Clarisse revealing their secret relationship and getting married at the end? Beautiful. Adore it.

8) Speaking of Joe, he continues to be objectively the best character. "If you hurt my girl, you will answer directly to me. And whatever crimes I commit against you, remember: I have diplomatic immunity in 46 countries. Including Puerto Rico."

9) Nicholas and his uncle did have a point about his and Mia's upbringings. Mia has only been princess for a few years at this point, and she finished her studies in America before officially moving, so she hasn't spent much time with the people, while Nicholas has been a true native Genovian most of his life. It's understandable why he (at least at first) would automatically believe that he qualifies more than Mia to be ruler.

10) I'm mixed on the Queen lessons. I feel like Mia should already know about fan language if she's been taking lessons this long already. I liked her talking to the citizens about their problems a lot more. That's definitely a "Queen" thing she needs to learn to do.

11) There are a LOT of accents in Genovia. Is it supposed to be a sort of "melting pot" country? I know I shouldn't think about it too hard I'm just curious.

12) Screw that one guy that scared Mia's horse. And that godforsaken reporter. I hope every time they eat a pear it's rotten.

13) Lily is so much better in this movie. She works well as comic relief. "I'm Lily, best friend to future Queen, I don't like you". Iconic.

14) I still love the parade scene. I'm sorry but I can't see how people apparently hate this scene. It's so cute and such a sweet moment to do for the orphans. And then to follow it up with her turning the winter castle into a shelter? Beautiful, I love it.

15) I feel bad for Charlotte. Her job is so chaotic. She deserves a nice spa weekend with her phone shut off.

If you have other questions I'd be happy to answer them.

[seasaltmemories]

haru, ann, makoto, yusuke, and ryuji?

All are under the Cut:

Haru

How I feel about this character:

I like her! While I do agree that the fact she is recruited right when things kick into gear is kinda frustrating, I think she has a lot of great little moments that are overlooked, she is charming and cute

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

I am up for anything, but nothing stuck out in the game itself

My non-romantic OTP for this character:

Her friendship with Morgana and the entire Beauty Thief stuff is great

My unpopular opinion about this character:

I’m actually glad that her recruitment was nonstandard, it shook up the usual ‘oh person who is not supposed to be there wander in the Metaverse and turns out there is a persona user” while it doesn’t last for long, there are questions of if she could be Black Mask, and in general it makes it feel like the world doesn’t just revolve around what Joker sees on screen, the fact she is closer to other ppl than Joker (at least at first) is interesting

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:

A conversation with Akechi about the whole father murder thing would be great, I know she is a pretty private person, and if it happened it would likely be without Joker, but the fact she still tries to be polite to him while being upfront about not forgiving him is an interesting dynamic

my OTP:

None

my cross over ship:

Um how about she and Rinea from FE Echoes hook up?

a headcanon fact:

She definitely becomes an old rich cat lady living her best life, partner or no

Ann

How I feel about this character:

I love her! I think her presence after her arc is understated but a great part of the team, I just think she is a fun character I like to watch

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

Shiho, I might also be down for a quick, low stakes hook-up with Yusuke

My non-romantic OTP for this character:

Her and Joker’s confidant is really nice

My unpopular opinion about this character:

I like her confidant, like yeah the model stuff isn’t the deepest but it only gets brought up a few times and we still have the rest of it being her kinda having to deal with the guilt of not being there for a friend even though things were kinda out of her control

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:

I guess I wish her relationship with her body and sexuality was made a little more clear, the writing around that is an example of the game both wanting to appeal to fantasies and real life issues, from what i gathered she was fine with being sexy when she was the one who chose to do it, so it would have been nice if more of the fan-service stuff had her kinda initiating stuff

my OTP:

Her and Shiho

my cross over ship:

I could see her and Hilda von Goneril being fun

a headcanon fact:

I don’t think she continues staying a model for long, and over time kinda takes an unofficial mother figure role of looking out for newbies to make sure they aren’t being exploiting and using her influence to get creeps from getting more jobs

Makoto

How I feel about this character:

A fave, I think the game does a great job of balancing out her unlikable moments with being able to understand where she is coming from, and that tension in general made me like her all the more once I started coming around to her

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

Joker

My non-romantic OTP for this character:

Her and Sae were a great pair of sisters

My unpopular opinion about this character:

Again I also really liked her confidant, like Ann I think the Eiko stuff was very minor in the long run, and considering her strong sense of justice it made sense for hers to take place through an active investigation of sorts rather than her having a pity party for herself and spilling her past

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:

My bias might be showing again but I am curious about her relationship with Akechi, I doubt they were close but it feels realistic that she would know he was basically Sae’s intern, and while I doubt they interacted much one on one outside that one scene where he calls her nothing but a goody two shoes, I wouldn’t mind exploring it more

my OTP:

Joker

my cross over ship:

Hmm her and Utena Tenjou would be a great mix of “high intellect low wisdom” and beating up gross dudes

a headcanon fact:

I think she never loses her rebellious streak and ends up in like advocacy work against government corruption

Yusuke

How I feel about this character:

He’s nice, I do like his interesting relationship with Madarame, and think it has some of the most nuance in the game

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

Nothing really serious besides like I said that low-stakes hook-up with Ann

My non-romantic OTP for this character:

As I mentioned while not a good relationship, I still think his connection with Madarame is his most interesting

My unpopular opinion about this character:

Maybe my own sheltered weirdo art kid is showing, but he really isn’t as out-there as ppl claim, I was expecting a hammy off the walls character from what fandom showed, but if anything his is really quiet, withdrawn and again most of his eccentricities is just him having been really sheltered his whole life and having to adjust to living on his own, like in the grand scheme of things, buying lobsters just to draw them is something I could see ppl in my life doing and maybe joking about for two or three days before being completely forgotten

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:

I think he is the phantom thief that fades into the background the most, and I wish he had a bit more relevancy for the rest of the game, which is harder to do bc he isn’t the most social or touchy-feely outside of art, I wish I got a great sense of camaraderie at least from his reasons for sticking around besides “friends” feels very weak

my OTP:

Not really any

my cross over ship:

I could see something between him and Namine being sweet

a headcanon fact:

I don’t know the exact flavor, but I think he is misdiagnosed  neurodivergant and likely never really figures it out except maybe by the time he is middle age and has a stable life bc he and others around him write off the symptoms as the result of his weird upbringing and artsy nature

Ryuji

How I feel about this character:

He’s a character I don’t I could stand if he was real, but the game writing and framing does make me like him and his friendship with Joker comes off as very genuine

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

I am up for anything, but nothing stuck out in the game itself

My non-romantic OTP for this character:

Again him and Joker

My unpopular opinion about this character:

Lol I feel like I pissed off a lot of ppl by saying I couldn’t stand him if he was real, but really he is like the eptimone of teenage rage, like he has good reasons to be angry but he doesn’t really know how to cope with it in the right ways, like no offense but walking up to somebody and just asking “hey are you being abused” isn’t all that helpful to a victim and other little things that in a less power-fantasy narrative could go really wrong, I don’t think presenting those flaws is bad, and I don’t think he is a bad character, but as someone who has also had to carefully manage my anger, it hits me in a very “remembers bad memory and cringes way”

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:

Look I know teenagers can be horny and I am not against ever showing that, but i guess as a grown woman I could have done without all the “lets score some babes” talk

my OTP:

None

my cross over ship:

Doug from Rune Factory 4 could probably vibe with him but i think they’d both cool each other down

a headcanon fact:

Probably also when he is older, things are stable, and he finds a therapist he doesn’t feel patronized by, he does end up finding the experience meaningful

[dyscrasia-eucrasia]

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Part 24

Demie gripped the door handle with one hand and the door frame with another as he heaved. He'd cleared out most of his stomach contents already, at this point he was just trying to clear the bile from his throat. He pulled his hair to one side of his neck and coughed, hacking and then spitting into the dirt. Then he just sat there, half of his body outside of the car, trying to get his breathing and heart rate back under control. 

"Hey, um…" Angel said from the driver's seat, "you okay?" 

Angel placed a hand on Demie's back, gently rubbing it. Demie had it together enough to think that that was kind of gay, but not to actually tell Angel to knock it off. 

Besides, it actually felt kinda nice. 

After waiting a minute to make sure that he wasn't going to puke again, Demie heaved his body back into the passenger's seat and shut the car door. Angel moved his hand so that it was resting on the center console. He let Demie sit there in silence, gathering his thoughts. 

"I can't do this, man," Demie finally said. His words came out sounding like sandpaper. "Sorry. I just can't do this right now." 

"Hey," Angel said softly, turning in his seat to get a look at Demie, "it's okay." 

"Sorry, I knew you wanted to go to this thing, but I just can't do that right now." 

"It's alright," Angel said, his voice still low and gentle, "really. It's okay." 

No, it wasn't okay. Not to Demie. The thing was, he wanted to go. He really did. He'd never actually been to a music festival before and it sounded cool. He wanted to actually experience being in an audience at a show, instead of just playing them. He wanted to do normal things like normal people. 

But as soon as they'd left the town limits of Billy Brook, it was as if there were a million eels swirling around inside his stomach. His heart was racing, his head was pounding, and he felt dizzy even though he was just sitting in a car. And hanging over all of that was the inescapable feeling that something bad was going to happen. 

It was like the anxiety he got at shows, but ten times worse. At least with shows, he could step out on stage and know that he was protected by the plausible deniability of wearing a costume. And that he had the power to control everyone in the audience. 

Being an audience member, though, he wouldn't have either of those things. Worse, what if human musicians had a power like he did? He didn't have any proof that they did, other than videos he saw of performances where people in the audience were going crazy. What if someone was able to control him like he controlled his crowds? What if they made him do something stupid or violent? 

What if they made him do something to Angel? 

He wasn't sure which thought scared him more - that he could be influenced into hurting Angel, or that he could be influenced into something like that guy that he'd punched at that one show. 

For some reason, it never occurred to him to think that maybe Angel could be influenced into assaulting him. The gay panic only went one way. 

"Do you wanna go home?" Angel asked. His tone was so patient, so understanding. He made Demie feel so safe. 

"Nngh," Demie moaned, thinking. No, he didn't want to go home. He didn't want to go home only twenty minutes after leaving. He didn't want to walk into the trailer and have Elaine say that she'd told him so. 

"Do you still want to go to Charleston? We don't have to go to the festival, we could go hang out at my place or something private like that." 

"NNNNNNGGGHH," Demie moaned again. No. No way. He absolutely did not want to go to Angel's home. That felt dangerous. Like something would happen there that he couldn't take back. He wasn't sure what exactly could happen, but he just knew he didn't want it to happen. 

"Okay, so… do you maybe want to get something to eat?" Angel asked. "There's a gas station a little ways down the road, they have a diner attached." 

"I can't exactly go in there," Demie mumbled. 

"You don't have to. I can get something to go and we can eat in the car." 

Demie reached up and gripped his horns, pulling them up. It didn't really do anything, but when he got headaches he swore it helped relieve the pressure in his skull. It had become a nervous habit when he needed space to think. 

"Nnnghh… okay," he said, slumping back against the seat. He was shaking; maybe something to eat would do him good. 

"Okay," Angel said, starting up the car again. 

It took them about ten more minutes to arrive at the gas station. It was a run-down little place, the pumps about a decade old and the diner straight out of the fifties. Demie and Elaine had driven past it before numerous times on the way to shows, but they'd never stopped there. There was another station in Billy Brook that was cheaper. 

"You want anything specific?" Angel asked. He parked in the spot furthest from the entrance. Probably, Demie realized, to keep him out of sight. 

"Mm… water. And just something vegetarian." 

"Got it," Angel said, unbuckling his seatbelt and getting out of the car. "Be back in a few." 

Demie grunted in response, watching as Angel headed towards the diner. Angel had worn a tank top, and for the first time, Demie noticed that he had angel wings tattooed on his back. That was fitting, he supposed. 

Angel disappeared inside, and Demie was left to sit there alone. Angel had left the radio on, and the band they'd been listening to switched to The Cure. Demie wrinkled his nose. This was a band he knew - his brother liked them - but that he didn't really care for. He wasn't sure how to change it, though. Angel's car had a fancy touch screen, not the simple tape deck that Elaine's van had. Besides, Demie had seen Angel control the music from his phone when they first left, and he was pretty sure Angel had taken his phone inside with him. 

There was nothing to look at except the diner, so he stared at it. It was one of the silver train car-looking diners. Demie had never been inside of one, but he liked how they looked. There was something very iconic about them. 

He reached down to grab his backpack from where it sat between his feet. He unzipped it and pulled out his Polaroid camera, aiming it carefully so that the hood of the car wasn't in the picture, and took a snapshot. The camera spit out the picture and he waved it briefly before letting it settle to develop. 

He had been sitting there staring at the picture for who knew how long when the driver's side door opened and he jumped. 

"Settle down, it's just me," Angel said, slipping into the car. He carried a styrofoam to-go box and a cardboard drink tray with one styrofoam cup with a straw, and one paper coffee cup.

"Sorry, all I got you was a salad," he went on. "They didn't really have anything explicitly vegetarian, and I wanted to get out there as quickly as I could. I get the feeling gay folks and people of color aren't really wanted in there." 

Demie took the box, glancing at Angel's arm, and then at his own. "What do you mean, 'people of color?'" He asked. "I'm darker than you are." 

"Yeah, no, it just means anyone who isn't white." 

"Your skin is white, though." 

"It's just an expression," Angel said with a sigh. 

"Hm," Demie hummed, opening the box and digging out a plastic fork. He didn't really get it, but then again, there was a lot of human stuff he didn't really get. At least, he blamed it on humans being weird about things, and not on his very sheltered upbringing. 

"I didn't know you had a Polaroid," Angel said, nodding to the camera in Demie's lap. 

"Hm? Oh, yeah," Demie said around a mouthful of salad, "I've had it since I was a kid." 

"I like it," Angel said. "I know people who have the digital kinds now, but they aren't as cool as the old ones. Can I see it?" 

"Yeah, sure," Demie said, handing the camera off to him. 

Angel turned the camera over in his hands as Demie ate. Then, without warning, Angel lifted the camera to his face, and pointed it at Demie. 

"Smile," he said with a grin, snapping a picture. 

"Dude, hey!" Demie threw up his hands as the flash went off. He reached for the photo to snatch it out of Angel's hands before it developed, but Angel threw up an elbow to ward him off and held it far away at the other end of the car. 

"Ha!" Angel laughed, shaking the photo off as the image came into relief. "Omigod, you look hilarious." 

Demie could only sort of see the photo, but he could see that he was shoveling lettuce into his open mouth in it. He shoved Angel's shoulder and sat back in his seat. "Dick," he said. He never took pictures of himself. 

Angel handed the camera back to him, but held onto the photo. 

"Do not keep that thing," Demie said. 

"Oh, no, I am absolutely keeping this. I'm gonna pin it up on my photo wall." 

"You like taking photos too?" 

"What? Oh, no, they're all of myself. You're getting the distinction of being the first non-Angel photo on the Angel Photo Wall." 

"Fuckin' narcissist," Demie snorted. 

"Nothing wrong with a little self-love," Angel shot back. 

Demie poked at his salad some more. "Do you have any other tattoos?" He asked after a little while. 

"Huh?" 

"The wings," Demie jerked a thumb towards his own back. "Saw 'em when you got out of the car. You got any others?" 

"Oh. No, not right now," Angel replied. "I can't decide on anything that I'd like enough to put on my body permanently. Besides the wings, of course. Why? Do you have any?" 

"Nah," Demie said. "One of my cousins knows how to do stick-and-poke, he always offers to do some at the Bacchanalia, but… same, I can't think of anything I want permanently on my body." 

"What's the Bacchanalia?" Angel asked. "Something to do with your band?" 

"Mm, kinda," Demie said around another bite of salad. "Everyone in the area who worships Bacchus - Dionysus - gets together once a year and we throw this massive party. Basically everyone just goes into the woods and gets real drunk and has a lot of sex. We named the band after our God." 

"That sounds…" Angel tapped his mouth with his fingertips, "that sounds so pagan, but also so, so hillbilly." 

"Yeah, whatever. It's a religious thing." 

"No, that sounds fun. I wish my religion was getting drunk and having sex in the woods." 

Demie opened his mouth, but closed it very quickly. He had considered inviting Angel to the Bacchanalia, but decided better of it. Again, he didn't really trust himself when it came to losing all control if Angel was around, though he wasn't sure why. He told himself that he just didn't want Angel to get hurt, even though there generally weren't any fights at the celebration. 

"Hey," he said, changing the subject, "can I take a photo of your tattoo sometime?" 

Angel looked at him, arching an eyebrow. "Why? I mean… sure, but why?" 

Demie shrugged. "I dunno. Only so many interesting things to photograph out in the woods. It'd be cool to have a picture of a person." 

"Yeah," Angel said after a moment. "Yeah, of course." 

[pallasperilous]

Prophecy

For the @profoundnet/ProfoundBond100 Drabble challenge. Prompt: prophecy. It’s only 500 words over the 100 word limit so: basically I nailed it, gang. I nailed it. 

{on AO3}

Dean’s never been able to figure out what it is about the guy; sure, they’re stuck in the same open plan office suite, but it’s not like they share any interests. It isn’t clear if Novak even has any interests, or if he just plugs himself into a spare outlet in the server room to charge overnight. He’s nice on the eyes (and the ears, fuck), but he dresses like he works in the slide rule department for the Apollo program.

Still, Dean winds up next to him at all the Mandatory Company Fun events. Just kind of standing there, taking shelter from the fray with this vibey mystery nerd.

This time the Mandatory Company Fun is at a bowling alley, because God is dead, but there’s a full bar in the bowling alley, because He at least left a few nice things to His kids in the will. And, sure enough, Novak is holed up there, and he actually appears to be consuming an adult beverage, which blows Dean’s mind a little – though he couldn’t really tell you why. 

So he snags the next seat over and they awkwardly put a few away together, and then they much less awkwardly put away a couple more. This is around when Dean asks: “Your first name. Is it short for something?”

“Yes,” the guy deadpans. Dean scowls at him until he cracks and tries to hide the little resulting smile in his Scotch and soda, which is weirdly adorable. “It’s short for, uh. Castiel. ”

“Ouch. So’s your family super religious, or was your mom just, like, really into angel stuff?”

Novak looks up at him. “You’re the first person I’ve met who actually knows where it’s from.”

“Yeah, well,” Dean says. “Me and my brother kinda grew up in a cult. I know a lot of weird off-brand Bible shit.”

This is usually where the other person’s eyes go wide to accommodate all of the questions suddenly filling their brain, and Dean can relax into a 45 minute set of his greatest Wacky Endtimes Upbringing Hits. Instead, Novak says:

“You too?”

Dean stares back at him. “Yeah, man. Our mom died when we were both little and our dad dove into this whole Jim Jones Doomsday kinda thing. Followed this prophet dude around the country for pretty much our whole childhoods. Whole lotta guns and Jesus with an extra side of freaky.”

Novak (Castiel, poor S.O.B.) is sitting bolt upright, like this is the best news he’s heard in weeks. “Polygamist compound outside of Provo,” he rushes out, and actually slaps the bar. “My father was the prophet. My mother was the ninth wife.”

 “Well hey, I hear that’s a good wife to be,” Dean says. “Tenth, though? Forget about it.”

Cas laughs, a hard, real laugh (seriously, adorable). “You’re not wrong.” Then he looks away, deflates a little as the chuckles run out, starts to pick at the anemic lemon slice slowly bleeding out into his whiskey. 

“So how’d you get out?” Dean prompts, and it comes out soft.

Cas shrugs. “Oh, I didn’t, really. I was expelled.”

“Kicked you out of the nest, huh? You cheep too loud?”

“No. Cheeped too homosexual.” He does not look up to see Dean’s reaction to this information, just deepens his aggressions against the lemon. “My fiancée turned me in.” He pauses. “She was scared. She was sixteen, so she should’ve been scared.” Castiel stops messing with the lemon, actually picks up the glass for a drink.

“Yeah. My old man never caught me,” Dean says, when the glass goes back down, and Cas’s eyes (by the way: real blue) pop right back up. Dean shrugs with an entirely whiskey-induced nonchalance. “Not with guys, at least.” 

Cas leans over his forearms. “What made you leave, then?”

“Little brother. He grew a brain first, I guess.” 

Cas narrows his eyes, glances back at the room full of overpaid kid-genius engineers enthusiastically rolling gutterballs. 

“Well, Dean, if you were a late bloomer, you’ve certainly made up for lost time.”

“Takes one to know one,” Dean says, and they smile at each other like a couple of real grade-A dum-dums, and that’s the first night.

[murasaki-murasame]

Thoughts on Fruits Basket 2019 Episode 15: “I Wouldn’t Say That”

The one and only thing this episode needed to do was succeed in making Hatori look fine as hell, so I’m glad they managed to do that, since this part of the story’s always been kinda forgettable beyond that, lol.

Thoughts under the cut. [Spoiler warning for the whole series]

Just to get right to the chase, this episode adapts chapters 25 and 26 of the manga, same as episode 16 of the 2001 version. It’s actually kinda interesting to compare them, since even though they’re about 99% the same, the comparison really highlights even more of the consequences of the stuff the 2001 version cut out as a whole.

I think I already mentioned this last week, but anyway, since the 2001 version removed the whole hat subplot and everything referencing Kyo’s connection to Kyoko, everything about Yuki and Kyo acting weird in this part had pretty much no context in that version, whereas at least in this version you have a pretty good idea what’s going on and how it connects to the previous episode, even if they’re both subplots that are largely still mysteries right now. And in addition to that, they also entirely removed Mayuko from the 2001 version, so the stuff with Hatori there was left on a more vague note. Which all just made this part feel super filler-y and disconnected from the rest of the story, originally.

But honestly even in the manga this part was always kinda filler-y and uneventful. It was just made even more so in the 2001 anime because it basically removed the few important story elements that were actually set up here. I think the series is really good at having every new story beat either introduce a new character, meaningfully develop existing ones, or just set up future plot points, but I’ve always felt like this is the weakest arc out of all of them, with the set-up mostly just being ‘wow, Yuki and Kyo sure are still moody for reasons we don’t fully know yet’ and ‘I guess Hatori will maybe hook up with the main trio’s teacher eventually’.

I do think it’s kinda funny, though, after seeing a lot of anime only people last week be like ‘I can’t wait to find out what’s going on with Yuki and Kyo next week :)’, when in reality this episode is like 90% Tohru going ‘I wonder what’s going on with Yuki and Kyo’. We’re not gonna find out what’s up with them, especially with Kyo, for a loooong time, lol. I hope that anime-only people don’t feel too genuinely let down or disappointed by this episode, but if there’s any one part where I think new fans might start thinking that the series is beginning to spin it’s wheels and needs to kick it up a notch, this episode would be it.

This whole part’s also always stuck out to me, even in the manga, as being just about the only part of the story after the first volume where we actually see Yuki and Kyo transform. It’s one of the things that make this part feel like a very episodic, filler-y ‘return to the status quo for a whole’ sorta part, if that makes sense. You’d think it wouldn’t be noteworthy that they transform here, but it sticks out in hindsight when you notice how they otherwise stop doing so pretty much entirely after the first volume. It’s not actually a recurring element of the story. Though I actually think it feels a bit more ‘natural’ in the 2001 version because they added some bits here and there in other episodes to have them transform when they didn’t in the manga, which made it seem like something that happens way more than it actually does.

Like always, I tend to be mostly ambivalent to these sorts of comedic breather sections [even though they’re necessary for the overall story flow], but I still really like the whole Jason joke. It reminds me that when I first read the manga I assumed that it must have been a localization of a reference to a Japanese horror movie, but nah, it was literally a Jason reference even in Japanese, lol. Which actually makes it feel a bit more understandable that Kyo doesn’t get it. Although, come to think of it, I wonder if this has more to do with how his sheltered upbringing lead him to being completely oblivious to a lot of ‘normal’ stuff. Which would make it kinda depressing in hindsight. But still funny. 

Even though I still kinda don’t like the whole Mabudachi trio as a unit, Hatori’s still great, so I appreciate how this episode is actually more about giving him a chance to take a nap and read a book, more than anything to do with the main trio. I do still like how many parts there are like this that focus on the adult characters and their perspective on things. Even though, as much as it gets more relatable over time, it also becomes kinda funny, in the sense of ‘stop being such a drama queen, Hatori, you’re not even 30 yet, lmao’.

Also, it’s not like they really changed it from how it was in the manga, but I forgot just how immediately obvious it is that he’s gonna hook up with Mayu later on. Although I think it’s actually even more blunt in the manga since apparently she had a picture of Hatori next to the picture of her and Kana, which I didn’t even notice until I just saw someone point it out.

I’m actually pretty excited for the episode we’ll get later on focused on them, even though it won’t happen until season 2 at this rate. They’re one of my favourite side couples in the series, and it still bugs me that they cut Mayu out of the 2001 anime [even though I get why they did it].

Anyway I think that’s about everything there is to say about this episode, but in addition to all that, we now know for a fact that the next episode will be adapting Uo’s backstory, which is really interesting to me. I already guessed it based on the vague look we got a while ago of Caitlin Glass’ notes, but I’m still a bit surprised they’re shifting that part up so much. If I remember right, it’s chapters 39 to 41, so at least in the manga it’s a fair bit ahead of where we are now. But it’s also mostly a flashback arc so I don’t think it’d exactly be hard to shuffle it about.

I’m mostly curious to see how they’re going to adapt it and pace it out, partly because it basically wasn’t adapted in the 2001 anime at all so it’ll sort of be all new in the reboot, and partly because it’s a three chapter arc in the manga, and the reboot hasn’t adapted mote than two chapters in a single episode yet.

Caitlin Glass’ notes do seem to indicate that Uo’s backstory will cover the next two episodes, though, which would at least be better than cramming it into one. It’s a pretty substantial arc with a lot going on, so I’d be happy if they give it a two-part treatment here. Though if they do it across two episodes, it makes me wonder how they’ll break it up, and if they might flesh it out with some material from later in the series, to bring it up to effectively two chapters of content per episode, which would be in line with the average pacing of the reboot thus far.

If they do that, I hope they find a way to slide chapter 50 [the one where Uo and Kureno meet for the first time] into it. I think it’d be fairly easy to tie it into the present-day parts of the Uo backstory arc, and it’d be nice for the reboot to throw a curveball and formally introduce Kureno this early on. At the very least the alternative is that he probably wouldn’t show up until season 2, which would be kinda sad.

We’ll see how it goes, but at the very least the next episode will definitely be getting into the flashback portion of the arc, since the episode title is taken from when Uo first met Tohru. I wonder if it’ll adapt all of the flashback, or if it’ll stop halfway and finish off in the episode afterward.

Most of the series thus far has split very easily into single episode chunks, so it’s kinda exciting to get to a part that’s a bit less obvious in how it’d translate into an anime format. It’s the sorta thing I really like speculating about.

And as a reminder, going by what we know from the next episode preview, Caitlin Glass’ notes, and the official confirmation of season 1 being 25 episodes long, it looks like the structure of the season from here on out will be two episodes for Uo’s backstory, Kisa’s intro, Ritsu’s intro, Hiro’s intro, the episode with Hana and the Yuki fan club, Hana’s backstory, and then probably Tohru getting sick and then the whole Kyo arc across three episodes total. I wasn’t sure about it at first, but after looking back at the notes we saw, it looks like the two Hana episodes will in fact be two separate episodes back to back, so Hana’s backstory would be episode 22 at this rate, which leaves three episodes to adapt chapters 30 to 34. Which I think would work fine. I think they’re going to tie the set-up for the Kyo arc into the episode with Tohru getting sick so that it ends with Kazuma showing up, and the last two episodes can spend more time on the actual meat of the Kyo arc. But we’ll see.

Either way I’m really excited for the next two episodes. The reboot’s been pretty similar in execution to the 2001 anime for a while now, so it’ll be fun to get two episodes in a row focused on material that basically wasn’t in the 2001 version at all.

[miwooseok]

hey y’all rian here back at it again with another muse !

i don’t know if anyone at all will remember this but i actually had a miwooseok muse waaay back in 2017 in the earlier run of mi, back when it was murder inc. this is NOT the same muse, but i’m really excited to be picking up a familiar fc again!!!

anyways, i really need to get this boy involved so i won’t take up too much of your time with stuff about me. you can find me in ims, but i’m more reliable on twitter or discord, both of which are available upon request in tumblr ims!

now onto wooseok.

possible triggers might include death, injury, murder, abusive/neglectful childhood, and cultism

if you click on the name above the cut that’s his profile!! i don’t have a full history page up, but mostly bc i accidentally covered p much all of it in his trivia, but i’ll paraphrase and give the basics here too!

legally, he doesn’t exist. long story short, he comes from a long line of professional assassins and spies and lowkey they’re a cult now (but substitute god with ancestor worship). he’s the product of what was in essence selective breeding and raised to be the best of them yet, so someday he’d continue on the legacy.

his mother was a normal person, a gymnast, but the kim family arranged for a career-ruining injury and forced her to marry their bachelor. shortly after, she gave birth to wooseok in a hospital. the kims don’t like having a paper trail, so they faked the baby’s death and raised him under the radar. this also keeps cps off their backs in case anyone complains about the state of the child! being raised to kill incurs a lot of bruises, not their fault!

wooseok probably would’ve become a monster if his mother wasn’t the bravest woman alive. she wanted her son to be human, so when her husband was away on jobs instead of continuing wooseok’s training, she’d smuggle him over to her mother’s house. he got to watch tv, eat sweets, play with toys that were not lethal weapons, and be doted on by his maternal grandparents there. it was these excursions that kept his humanity.

of course those trips didn’t stay secret! when wooseok was 14, his mother suddenly passed. he wouldn’t learn until he was 19 that the kims had actually orchestrated her death, killing her to keep her from continuously damaging their protege’s training. wooseok, outraged at this information (since he really loved his mom), left the family. he still needs their connections so he hasn’t quite cut all ties, but he does not live with or speak to them if at all possible.

thanks to his upbringing though, he’s super paranoid about publicity! he lives as close to off the grid as is possible, leaving as little evidence of his very existence as possible. all of his hitman jobs are taken from a forum on the dark web where he’s known only by his username anon592. he has no bank account and receives payment exclusively through cryptocurrency; he prefers bitcoin. he sells most of these coins face to face in “real life” to interested buyers, cash only.

as for his murder job, he never meets his clients face to face. his prices vary (with more info on this on his trivia page), but all that’s really important is that he takes half the payment up front and the rest after the job is complete.

he currently lives in an apartment where he’s cut a deal with the landlord to pay in cash and a little bit extra if he keeps him off the books, and he’s a neat and quiet tenant so it works out. that said, he still moves frequently. he also has no permanent cell phone at this time, only using burners that he rotates every other week or as necessary.

so basically he’s a hard guy to find.

THAT SAID he’s also strangely friendly and actually really nice considering his upbringing and profession. he’s not very interested in the local gangs outside of just staying out of their way or taking extra precautions if they’re involved in a job, but he’s always down to make new friends regardless of affiliation. he has a soft spot for cats and especially pitiful things and something of a moral compass, but he’s still learning.

his childhood was incredibly sheltered and he hasn’t taken a ton of time to explore what he missed out on yet, so there’s sometimes obvious references or cultural touchstones that he doesn’t get. he’s never seen a marvel movie, he’s only barely heard about harry potter, and he has no idea that starwars and startrek are different franchises. the only thing he’s definitely got down is spongebob, which he definitely binged since striking out on his own.

his sense of humor is a little weird, a little dry, but it’s pretty good overall. believe it or not, he’s actually a pretty easy muse to get along with! so please!! plot with him!! hit me up!!! let’s get this party started!!!

[icharchivist]

So your meta of Lavi is a masterpiece and it helped me put into words a lot of stuff. I kinda wanted to talk about Allen though, one thing you mentionned is that Allen is really positive/optimist and want to save everybody, and while some of his 'light' probably comes from Mana's mask because so far it seems Allen's idea of Mana was of a really kind and positive and cheerful person. I wonder how much of his optimism/positiveness and desire to strive for the best for everybody come from -part 1

part 2-himself ? And I suddenly remembered DGM reverse, and woah, most exorcists backstories so far are really horrible, but they all had normal-happy memories mixed in (that doesn’t make up for the horibleness of other stuff and I’m not downplaying their stories nor am I interested in comparing who had it worse), Lenalee had her family before most got killed by Akuma and she was ripped away from Komui to be psychologically tortured and abused by the black order and it quite obviously distressed

part 3- her, her life so war was happy until akuma and the B.O ruined it. I dunno for Lavi but most panels of him as a child are cheerful and cute af, and he became a bookman for his desire to know about history and know more than most people, then increasedly got sick of humanity and their wars and their stupidity. Kanda’s backstory is the stuff of nightmares and OW, but he had Alma with him from the beggining and his friendship/love/I don’t think he quite knew with Alma meant a lot for him

part 4- etc etc. Allen’s backstory in reverse ? Kinda the opposite. Red didn’t have anything happy, no happy memories, no people that loved him, nothing. He barely had shelter (one that didn’t quite block out the chilling cold), and had to work to the bone for and while he had food, it wasn’t something he took for granted, because if Cosimo or somebody else felt like it they’d say lies to the ringmaster that Red slacked off and the Ringmaster would get pissed at Red, ‘put him in his place’part 5 (I think it’s 5)-and make him starve that day as punishment. And he was under constant threat of violence from pretty much anybody. The best reaction/treatment he could hope for at the time was being ignored (and all his human rights with it), and had to face disgust/physical violence/insults/slurs from all others. Red kinda accepted that nobody’d ever love him (though he admitted he longued for love once he witnessed it), but that didn’t matter because he hated other people right back

part 6- and the first time he received warmth/got treated as a human was from Allen the dog, then from Mana himself (who Red thought the worst of at the beggining), then had fluffy and happy memories and moments during two years after his miserable and hellish life (people probably treated him normally once Mana got him a glove to cover his Innocence Arm). The thing that differentiate him from others is that most others experienced at least some warmth before getting disillusioned/cynical

avant-derniere part-most experienced some warmth before discovering that no, humanity/life suck (for Kanda it happened at the same time)(that’s even how the earl bait most into making Akuma, they experience happiness and love then get crushed when the source of hapiness gp away), but for Allen/Red ? He was utterly done with life and didn’t remember any instances of a good memory/life and didn’t even know what positivity felt like ? And then he got to experience that life doesn’t suck THAT much.

final part- then he got to experience that life doesn’t suck THAT MUCH. that’s why witnessing/enduring fucked up shit won’t faze him in his goal, fucked up shit was the norm before this weird magical thing called love came. (aside from his duty to atone to what he did to Mana) He didn’t get the transformation from hopeful to cynical. it was the other way around. He went back to save Tykki in the ark once the Noah problem was taken care of, because in Allen’s worldview, Allen himself and his -

the true final part- Allen himself and his friends doesn’t qualify as 'white/light’ in his worldview. Tykki is a sadistical homicidal bastard ? He does have human friends and people he care for anyway, so if he’s not a threat/able to kill exorcists anymore he might as well save him. And that’s why he didn’t judge Suman for being a traitor. Or maybe I’m just sprouting useless pretentious bullshit and am mistaken,sorry, idk, enlighten me.

Heyaaa!! first thank you so much for the compliment it means a lot to me ❤ but huge shout out to the anon who helped put it all in words like that.

Second, I think you’re completely spot on on everything you mention.

(Before jumping in the whole thing while i agree with all you say, i’ll just mention that one of the Guidebook, the Grey Arc one, mentions that Lavi joined the Bookmen at 6yo, and almost gets killed by a stray bullet when he was 7yo (the guidebook mentions he clang to Bookman’s hair when he was healing him, leading Bookman to say it’s Lavi’s fault they’re falling off now). So by all account despite this incident Lavi had a happy upbringing with Bookman, or well as much as the heartless Bookman training had to offer).

For Allen, yes, all you say is very true and it’s honestly super interesting to me? Allen’s life before Mana was hell. Hell, hadn’t Allen-the-dog died because he was beaten up anyway? The only happiness he had with that Dog was taken away by him likely by his abusers. Before Mana, he lived through hell. He was 7 when he met Mana and they were together only 3 years. That’s only 3 years of real happiness. And if anything we get from Cross’s memories chapter, is that it took Allen a long, long time to get over it (and while there’s camaradery between them, Cross’s teaching traumatized Allen to this day so. Poor guy went through a lot).

Mana seems to be the only window of time in which Allen was happy, and he doesn’t have anything else in his early memories that allow him to cling to that. tbh that’s also why the changes of names matter a lot with Allen. from “Red” because it was the color of his arm, something people insulted him for, it was either an insult he got too used to to correct since he didn’t have a name anyway, or seeing himself as nothing else than what made his monstruosity to others. To “Allen”, the name of the dog. Of the first being who showed him love and affection and who died unfairly. To then take on the “Walker” last name after he turned Mana as an Akuma, likely in a way to remind himself of him, to “Keep Walking” but also to remember everytime he hears his name of what he has done to Mana and his duty toward him. 

And you’re entierely right: Allen’s story was one of cynism and suffering who eventually ended up getting better thanks to Mana, and Mana’s loss and the guilt of turning him into an Akuma from Allen in the mindset of constantly trying to take it over his shoulders. 

It’s obviously not meant to disregard the others backstories, like you say- but it’s interesting bc even Kanda who had the most horrible early years in life had Alma, and Alma balanced out the horrors he had to go through, and he had him from the start. And the scientists were actually kind to the kids outsides of the experiments. (not excusing any of the shits they pulled the kids through- but it sure does contrasts with Allen’s past that had people abuse him for no reason).

Mana is the catalyst of Allen’s storyline in many ways: for being the first being who showed him kindness and changed his viewpoint of life, to then the grief of losing him shaping Allen’s future guilt that isolates him from others.

Had Allen not been able to create an Akuma for Mana, it’s to wonder how “selfless” he would have become. While I think that him wanting to smile, be cheerful, be kind, comes mainly for being raised by Mana- His selflessness, his self-sacrificing attitude, his way to distance himself emotionally from others all come from the fact he “betrayed Mana” by making him go through the Akuma making process. If Allen could have remained kind and sweet growing up, a lot of his worst habits may not have existed has the guilt from the Akuma not happened.

I think it would be the nuance of what Allen evolved into due to Mana’s raising him, and what Allen evolved into due to the grief of losing Mana and therefore forcing himself to wear his mask.

Had Mana not existed at all in Allen’s life, I don’t doubt he would have turned into a bitter person until someone showed love and care for him. Imo, Allen was someone who was starved for affection but was in an unsafe environment for it to happen, and he grew cynical. The only fact he cared this much about a dog being kind to him shows that he was already fundamentally a kind soul that was just unable to express himself and only bitterness remained. What Allen needed was someone kind to encourage this side of him. (and like you mention, Allen does agrees he longued for love, just didn’t know what it was beforehand)

I think Mana made Allen feel safe to be “gentle”.  He showed him how being kind and cheerful could help himself and others. Like a parent teaches his child to evolve in life in a way. Allen was only 7 after all, he was still young enough to learn, to be shaped by his experience.

“Mana’s mask”, that fake smile though, comes from Mana’s teaching pushed to the extreme after Allen’s guilt over Mana pushed him to push people away. 

So yes, you’re right: Allen’s journey was of cynism to cheerfulness. To determination to carry on. I think he had the potential to cheerfulness all along but just needed someone to push him in the right direction, and Mana was that push (but for that we need a little more “casual times between Mana and Allen between Allen’s 7 and 10 years old”). But the guilt and trauma of the Akuma!Mana incident pushed Allen to do this to the extreme, often at the detriment of his own feelings.

I believe his willingness to see the best for everyone comes from the Akuma!Mana incident as well. It is hard to believe that finding One Gentle Person after years of being abused would change Allen’s view this much. But i think seeing something like gentle and sweet Mana being turned into a weapon of Mass destruction, and then see this repeat itself with others people, knowing that Akuma were people just as desperate than he was, people who loved so hard, that they called onto a soul who hadn’t asked for it to be turned into weapon: would have Allen see that there must be something good into anyone. That if an Akuma, a weapon of mass destruction, could be just a suffering soul being chained into life because they were loved too much, then what about anyone else? 

I think understanding the Akuma the way Allen does have him reconsider the way he sees everyone else. That everyone has their chains that bind them to the world. That some of those Chains are heavy and can turn people into assholes to stand it, to stand this life they were chained into. But there’s still a soul behind the chains and Allen wants to believe in it. I believe it’s a way also to hold on to the last memories he has of Mana, to keep it as a positive figure in his mind, rather than an already twisted creature. And that’s why the humanity and salvation of the akuma is so important to Allen to start with.

By humanizing the Akuma to that extends, Allen can push his compassion to anyone else. So imo, i don’t think it would have happened had the Akuma!Mana incident not happened. It’s likely it is that bad in canon as well because of his eye only: perhaps if he only ever saw Mana, he would have developped differently, but seeing all those Akuma’s souls made it impossible for Allen to ignore it. The moment he sees a soul, he sees a story there; he sees a person who was loved too much and was chained back into life to commit horrors. And from that point on, I think that compassion just become a reflex.

So as such it makes sense Allen extends that to anyone else. Suman becoming a fallen told a story about why he became this way, of his relationship with the Innocence, of his suffering with it. Meeting the Light part of Tyki first had Allen sees all sides of him, and know that Tyki was duty bound to the Noah as well, and that people cared for him. And if Allen didn’t extend this compassion to Tyki per se, he would have had to the people who loved Tyki because he knows what loss feels like and he doesn’t want anyone to go through this.

I find it harder to word than i expected welp but yes, i agree with all you say, and y e there’s just. a lot to Allen. and imo his whole viewpoint comes from he sees Akuma to start with. Mana was his greatest influence in general.

allen breaks my heart ;;-;;

Take care!

[parabelled]

Sorry if this is an inappropriate ask. Please feel free to ignore in that case. What do you think of RFK's rumored affairs, including the horrible Monroe stuff? Personally, I think he was unfairly maligned, simply because he was the middle brother of JFK and Teddy, who were proven cheaters. Biographers like James Hilty or Larry Tye have argued that he was too much of a prude and too cautious to be a womanizer. Certainly no woman has ever come forward, unlike in JFK's case.

Hey there! Sorry for the delay in answering, but I basically wanted to educate myself more on the topic and then get back to you; it’s not gauche at all, especially if you consider it from a historical perspective, which I try to when undertaking a historical analysis of anybody, even with someone I might genuinely like.

I tend to agree. One of what is called the ‘definitive’ Robert Kennedy biography, “Robert Kennedy: His Life” by Evan Thomas, which I’m currently reading, is ridiculously detailed in this aspect, and provides a lot more perspective on RFK’s views of women, etc.

RFK, as opposed to JFK or Ted Kennedy, for all extensive purposes, was a feminist. He was famously a ‘mama’s boy’ as a child, mercilessly teased for it, and tried to compensate by being the family protector and as tough and controlling as his old man wanted him to be.

That being said, his father couldn’t beat out his natural sensitive sensibilities which became his defining trademark later in life once he got out from under his grasp (it took the debilitating stroke of his father, but he finally did it). He was forced to become his own man despite constantly supporting others, and it was the hints of this man that sort of informs my perspective of any rumours of infidelity.

1. This is a man who basically was horrified when his date opened her mouth when she was kissing him at twenty. The man didn’t know about French kissing until twenty, despite his two older brothers and his father being famous womanisers. A lot of people describe RFK as ‘lost in the shuffle,’ the only boy amongst a sea of girls until Teddy was born. We have to remember that despite being close later by circumstance, RFK and JFK were not bosom buddies growing up, and rarely spent time together unless with family, which is understandable, with almost a decade between them in ages. So I think any thought of JFK’s behaviour ‘rubbing off’ on RFK is sort of a moot point.

2. This is also a man who as a child Thomas hints could have been considered so sensitive that he became clinically depressed, just it was never diagnosed (To be fair, if you read how much even his own family considered him a failure, I couldn’t even imagine living through it. It’d drive you crazy). He famously would spend more time than the three times a week required in mass, and would stay there for at least three hours, praying and lingering, as if looking for some sort of shelter from the storm. He didn’t drink or smoke until he was twenty-one, and lost his virginity because his father paid someone to take him to a brothel. Reportedly, he said afterwards something akin to ‘Not bad, but not great either.’ This was obviously a kid for whom sexual activity or debauchery was not at the forefront of his psyche.

3. Because he wasn’t part of ‘The Golden Trio’ of his older, more social and stunning siblings, including JFK, he had to carve out a niche role for himself, despite pretty much being a C- student and failing at most stereotypically ‘Kennedy’ things he tried his hand at. That was the role of the protector of the family name for the good part of his life. I honestly think it speaks volumes that he said on the campaign trail that people could say whatever they wanted about him, as long as they liked JFK. We all know JFK was a notorious cheat, and the fact that RFK took that mantel on just goes to show how much this identity as the protector defined him. I don’t think honestly he’d risk that just to have a fling with a girl.

4. He was supremely Catholic. This tended to make him a Moralist, until proven otherwise. However, one of the things I think everyone loved most about his character was that if he was proven there was a grey area, he would admit his wrong and move on. That sounds simply nowadays, where politicians famously flip-flop on positions all the time, but this is different than flip flopping on positions; you could literally see him GROW as a person.

That being said, early in his life and in his career, he did tend to see women as this precious thing to be protected or sinful. There are stories where he literally fired a campaign worker for swearing in front of female staffers, at the same time saying women were the best workers because they just worked the hardest. He would have men walk female campaign workers to the subway to make sure they got home alright if he kept them late. I think later in life, the more ‘sinful’ women he knew, judging by his behaviour, he didn’t pain women as these two dichotomies, but the moralism of being brought up so strictly Catholic was the starting place from which this grew (Famously he married his wife Ethel, who almost considered becoming a nun).

5. Which brings me finally to your actual question, about the rumours about the affairs, in particular Marilyn Monroe.

To be honest, judging from what I outline earlier, that’s basically why I don’t think he really had an affair. Some border on the ridiculous (homosexual affairs)), to others which were more plausible (aka guilt by association being surrounded by the dozens of women JFK cheated with), but all don’t tend to take into account one important thing: Bobby.

Bobby, for all extensive purposes, was the opposite of his brothers. It was the only way he was able to find an identity within the family after years of trying to emulate them. Ted, being much more social and athletic, from what I understand, fell in line with the Kennedy men cheating pretty easily. But Bobby had to prove himself by being the OPPOSITE of what was expected. If they swerved right, he swerved left. It was the only way to distinguish himself in the eyes of his father. If Jack was flighty and rebellious, Bobby was stable and dependable. Everyone who knows him describes him as being almost TOO loyal. I honestly don’t think it’s in his character as the one black sheep in the family (They literally called him ‘Black Robert’) to cheat, especially considering the heavy influence Catholicism had in his life.

6. Which brings me to the Marilyn Monroe rumours. From all the research I saw, RFK only met/associated with Marilyn four times that can be proven: once, at a dinner party where they first met, which was quite sweet because the next day Marilyn wrote to her father and mentioned RFK by name, saying he had ‘the most wonderful sense of humour,’ which if you know anything about Bobby, is the most hilarious mental image ever. Marilyn, the epitome of glamour but sweet as a button, oohing over Bobby, who probably was just spewing self-deprecating black humour all night. But honestly I find it sort of adorable. xD

The second recorded instance was where Marilyn was at Madison Square Garden and famously sang ‘Happy Birthday’ to JFK. RFK was with there with 15,000 other drooling men. There’s also a pretty adorable story that RFK was the only person sensitive enough to realise that Marilyn was basically a hunk of meat to them about to be torn apart, and pretty much guided her to safety, not only to save the image of his brother, but to save Marilyn as well.

The third instance was where Ethel and RFK invited Marilyn to come to a pool party at their place, but she refused. Part of the Kennedy family was married into actors, so Pat Kennedy was actually great friends apparently with Marilyn, so this isn’t really that out of the ordinary.

The last recorded instance was where Bobby went to talk to her about Jack and keeping a low profile, and although nobody really knows what was truly said there, that’s presumed to be what the trip was about. With Bobby’s schedule as Attorney-General, he was recorded doing a multitude of other things that day, so I doubt anything actually happened.

Then there is that weird thing where people say RFK orchestrated her death and that bullshit, which is absolutely ridiculous conspiracy theory zones, but it’s proven he was 350 miles away the day she died with his wife and family, so nothing doing there.

From what I understand, the two people who were said to start the rumours that Marilyn slept with both RFK and JFK were Marilyn herself and Peter Lawford, who was going through a ridiculously bitter divorce proceedings with Pat Kennedy at the time and was a known alcoholic and druggie, and from what I’ve heard, sort of an all around cunt: basically openly marrying into the family for the prestige and as a boost to his acting career, and that’s the only reason he was in the original Ocean’s Eleven as a favour to the Kennedys, but I digress. I can see him saying stupid shit just to get back at the Kennedys and due to the mythos of the family, some of it sticking the more scandalous things he said. I don’t put too much stock in him and once again, always thought of him as a cunty-Mccunt-cunt (To be fair, I remember my mum said one day when the original Ocean’s Eleven was on TV everyone thought he was a cunt too in the 60s, so there you go XD).

Marilyn herself had a lot of her own problems at the time, and I wouldn’t ever really want to blame her for those things, because I always felt bad for her and the way she was manipulated and used by men from a very young age. From my perspective, she learned to define herself BY men and what attention they gave to her, due to a rocky family upbringing and suspected abuse, which I always thought was so incredibly sad. I always saw her as this sort of broken loose cannon that was manipulated but ultimately snuffed out.

From what I understand, her saying that came from tapes with her psychologist, where she claimed she slept with both of them. Keep in mind, this is towards the end of her life where she was ridiculously stocked up on barbiturates and alcohol. To be honest, I think she wanted to sleep with Bobby after realising he was protecting her, but the feelings weren’t reciprocated to the point it was consummated. Marilyn always seemed to go after people who could protect her in some way, but where other men would protect her out of love for her image and her glamour, and be (usually, Arthur Miller excluded) these examples of machismo and manliness, Bobby was famously shy around women and sweet (To be real, Marilyn could have used a ‘Bobby’ in her life to keep her on track; someone who saw her as a real human being and not just her glamorous image, but I digress). So even if he did want to sleep with her, I don’t think he would act on it, because he wasn’t a man driven by sexual urges.

The reason I don’t believe what she said was particularly true in terms of RFK (we all know it was true in terms of JFK) was because A) She and the only other person who said it were known druggies/alchies and famously unreliable as sources (Peter Lawford), and B) The one person who WAS reliable as a source (in however unscrupulous a way he was) was J.Edgar Hoover. That man had files from sun-up to sunset on JFK’s different liaisons, missteps, etc. It IS a bit of speculation on MY part, but do you think, even if there was a rumour that Bobby was stuck up in something, it would be in the Hoover files? Why would JFK’s liaison with Marilyn be in the files but not Bobby’s? Arguably Bobby was the one person more disliked in Washington; you would think this would be something Hoover would jump on.

I think also because Marilyn would want something with Bobby, I don’t see her above saying it until it was real. This is a woman who was used to living in a sort of fantasy world of her own creation that she was very well aware of (contrary to her public image, she was very smart and constantly attempting to improve herself), so I think it’s not above considering that she said it because she was hoping or imagining that such a thing would come to pass.

This leads into rumour and speculation that is profoundly unhistorical and I don’t really care to get into it, but I think that is the historical nub someone can base their hat on. I don’t think if RFK had affairs, it wouldn’t be recorded by Hoover, wouldn’t be something that he had tremendous levels of Catholic guilt about, and would have come to the forefront, because it would have affected him in a way it wouldn’t have affected his brothers. So even if he DID have an affair, I think he would feel genuinely guilty about it, which to me, puts it in a different area than someone who just constantly cheats and doesn’t give a shit.

Hoover also didn’t particularly have a reason to go soft on RFK. I’ll quote the book ‘Bobby and J.Edgar,’ which is more rumour-mongering than actual history for the most part, but the summary of their two positions is outlined well:

“For Hoover, Hersh writes, “America amounted to a kind of Christian-pageant fantasy of the System” that was threatened by “Commies and beatniks and race-mixers … hell-bent to eradicate this utopia.” Kennedy saw “gangsters” undermining unions, corporate America and, yes, even politics. Here was the nub of their quarrel: subversion versus corruption.”

History has pretty much played out that Bobby was right (including today with Trump in power), so they had no reason to see eye to eye. It’s a complicated area of history that can often degrade into rumours, scandal, and stupidity, which I don’t particularly care to go into, but from a purely historical aspect, I hope you can see why I think it would basically be contrary to his character; not because I’m trying to be one of those people who hold up a holier than thou view of the Kennedys (that family was something else), but because I don’t particularly think it was in his character and identity as this Good Bobby/ Bad Bobby dichotomy of someone who was seen in the media as the person who had to clean up after his brother’s mess, and that was often true.

Hopefully this somewhat answered your question and remained relatively historical rather than scandalous in nature, as I try to stay above all those sorts of things in pure historical analysis. Sorry for the late reply. xx