#his training scene with vi was one of the only things that interested me in iron flame

[tamlindudley]

Fandoms are wild dude, I don’t even like Dain that much but I feel obligated to defend him because he really is not as bad as the BookTok hive mind makes him out to be ugh.

[spacedlexi]

Kenny and Violet anon here YES.

Violet is upset because someone she defended against her found family of 8 years let her get taken by brainwashing adults for 2 seconds and everyone flips their lid.

But Kenny refuses to stop a train, and gets into a whole fight with Lee over it (AND REFUSES TO HELP YOU FIND A LOST LITTLE GIRL WHILE YOU’RE FIGHTING OFF AN INFECTION, where as Violet always defends you in Episode 1 regardless of whether you ignored and/or antagonized her or not), and gets mad at an 11 year old for not being able to handle helping someone in labor by herself and everybody’s like “Nah it’s okay, his family died years ago so he gets to do whatever he wants.” as if Violet didn’t witness one of the only consistent family members in her life die in front of her 💀

There’s so many comparisons I could make and one day I’ll make a Venn Diagram about all of their similarities but for now I’m glad someone pointed this out.

there are some things kenny does that have No excuse (like refusing to help bitten lee look for missing clem all because hes mad you didnt side with him enough. leaving lee to singlehandedly save himself in the pharmacy because he got scared. threatening to slap clem for blaming herself for lees death. off the top of my head). but his behavior on the train is annoying yet understandable. he doesnt want to admit his son is dying and he feels like duck dying in the first place is his fault for not saving shawn. you can convince him to stop without things getting physical

the Problem comes in when people can understand and sympathize with kennys annoying/shitty actions, but when it comes to violet (who has the same "my family is dead and its made me bitter and closed off" backstory (and her whole arc is about learning to love and care again)), suddenly all understanding goes out the window. even tho shes not even a FRACTION as annoying and shitty as kenny can get 😭😭

violet is mean to clem for the One scene where youre introduced to her (ignoring your first moment with her in the courtyard where shes smiling at clem so you already know her shitty attitude later is a lie. louis even defends her. wingman lol. and depending on what you say in response to her you can Immediately see the regret on her face LOL). but before the scene even Ends shes complimenting clem and clem loves it. then youre forced to talk to her and tenn about the twins, you have a nice card game where you can joke around with her, then she shows up at the dorm and they have a nice heart to heart about how theyre BOTH struggling with the loss of people theyve loved, and they can sympathize about both being harsher than they intend (THEY GET EACH OTHER CANONICALLY)

and vi not being "a people person" is a huge part of her arc?? she doesnt like that shes like this 😭 but shes also better with people than she gives herself credit for and its why she makes a good leader. (and even if you pick the "came off strong" option clem is OBVIOUSLY teasing about it but vi cant tell and gets defensive ("its not like im trying to be bffs or whatever. sorry" is so "you want to kiss me so bad it makes you look stupid" of her)

and then after this shes never mean to clem again?? (unless you antagonize her but even then its mostly just about her standing her ground and not taking shit she doesnt deserve. which is fair). shes only mean to brody while fishing (and shes mean to brody because deep down she blames HERSELF) and the whole POINT of that scene is to try and mend their broken relationship which immediately makes vi a happier/nicer person if you do (also interesting how louis doesnt get any shit for His behavior while hunting 🤨 no hes just cool and fun). violet also apologizes for being "weird" in the dorms the previous night as well (bby girl why are you afraid that everything you do is weird 😭 she says that word a lot)

violet will Always have clems back (in EP1 and 2!!) No Matter What you do or say to her. i think people take her loyalty for granted. so if you dont save her in EP2 and expect to continue to have her unwavering loyalty in EP3? thats a You problem. she is Fucked Up mentally on that boat by lilly and her not-exactly-ex, and then gets caught in the explosion she didnt want anything to do with. AND THEN SHE APOLOGIZES because she recognizes she was WRONG

(not her literally trying to make a joke about it to ease the tension 😭 people dont give her credit for also having a sense of humor. like louis is the only one who cracks jokes around here) but again when it comes to kenny his actions are understandable and defendable even without an apology 🙄 i literally side with kenny on Everything except the larry thing and if you dont make the right dialogue choice with him? he will not help you look for clem. because of larry 😐 i killed your son for you bro and then took care of his walker doppelganger so you didnt have to. and this isnt even touching his behavior in S2. and yet despite everything he does hes still one of the most beloved characters in the fandom 🤨

i just have to remind myself sometimes that all vi options were made 53-61% and the vi haters are a loud minority. her always being above 50% is so interesting to me because i love when choices are split perfectly 50/50. but the way the fandom talks about her (and the women in general) you wouldnt think shes technically the more popular option (and i Hate playing the popularity card its so annoying, but im only doing it bc people also say shit like "maybe if vi wasnt so mean more people would pick her" they DO pick her!!! you just got mad she was mean for 5 seconds, never payed attention to her again, and used her determinate reaction on the boat as justification for not liking her 😑) (also ignores how mean louis gets in EP2 regardless of choice?? but like kenny His actions are defendable and sympathetic and hers arent 🙄)

[littlesparklight]

What do you like about Zeus x Ganymede? I'm curious

First of all, I just like power imbalance in ships - some of my favourite ship dynamics is a magically/physically/hierarchically more powerful person with someone who is... well, not that. (This works out platonically, as well. Among the other reasons I do rather think this is part of why I like Luke & Vader so much; Luke isn't powerless compared to his father, but he's un(der)trained and by dint of being Vader's son, the familial dynamic is uneven.)

So, like, Zeus being one of the most strongest gods and the king of the gods, contra Ganymede who is either a minor divinity after getting apotheosis or just an immortalized human, is... a feature for me, not a bug.

The way Ganymede is basically "it" when it comes to male love interests for Zeus, making him special on top of being the only one Zeus takes to Olympos and installs there in some way, is juicy to me. Aside from the possibilities of fun things to explore in Ganymede being "the only one" (there are some very rare other possibilities, but they're easily ignored and I take the right to do so lol) for Zeus and what that means for him, it just makes Ganymede special.

Sure, maybe not a "good" special if you want to go dark with it (I don't; that's not what I'm here for). The only myths of Ganymede's abduction is; all the gods, for Zeus, Zeus himself, or "realistic" versions where Ganymede ends up literally dead because of a mortal king's desire for him (Minos; Tantalos as another one that's more suspicion against a potential enemy). Thus, Ganymede clearly is simply not ever going to remain in the mortal realm. The options are "actually dead" or "dead" to the mortal realm, but still alive. That's interesting! More as a thing for Ganymede than the ship, necessarily, but Zeus' desires/judgement of Ganymede - so to speak - matters here even beyond his actual sexual desire. Sexual desire can (and usually is!) satisfied by a god visiting a mortal once and only once. This is not what happens with Ganymede.

The whole "the monster loves you and will crack the world in two for you" is fun (terrifying, maybe, because that means a sort of soft power you're responsible for, but fun). Zeus may not have completely stopped Herakles from attacking Troy, but his love for Ganymede still matters here (you see this reflected/intimated in Trojan Women), and the same happens in Quintus of Smyrna's Posthomerica. Zeus maybe can't/won't stop the war for Ganymede but that doesn't mean he doesn't feel for him - Quintus has Ganymede beg for Troy in one scene, and Zeus ends the fighting for that day because of it.

And lastly, just because one party is the "weaker" does not mean they cannot and will not have desires of their own. Ganymede's desires vis a vis Zeus and their relationship are both fun and very important to me, exactly because he has no "concrete" power. He still have wants and they matter to both of them.

(... Also, some light service kink in there. Ganymede being cupbearer to Zeus is, again, a feature to me, not a bug. They're both into it, the way I interpret/write their relationship.)

[skitskatdacat63]

Read your prev lore post and thank you for just letting me throw ideas right at you. Honestly more fun than I ever imagined so lets keep on rolling :). Okay this time I want to know about Vettonso’s music preferences (or even potential instruments they know how to play)

— Penalanon

And thank you for throwing me so many good ideas!! I have a lot of random ideas for future ones in the back of my head, but these are so helpful and fun because it’s not just, extremely self serving all the time LOL! You force me to think about things I’d usually be like “this is too much to research,” but then cause you asked, I HAVE to, and it ends up being very enlightening. And also expands the world building a lot!

misc lore drop day 45/?

Okay this one might be a struggle bcs it means I'd actually have to implicate real historical figures in my, already rpf, yaoi 😭😭It’s one thing to make double layered rpf, but to reference them interacting with actual historical figures is…IT’S FINE! I mean obviously my first and only thought is: Vivaldi. I know I’ve talked about this on my blog already because I am a broken record with my favorite fun facts but, I don’t care, I’ll say it again. My favorite Charles VI(who Seb is paralleling) anecdote is him being such a big fanboy of Vivaldi that he reportedly talked to him more in their meetings in 2 weeks than he had to his own ministers in two years; he also gave him a medal, and made him a knight because he loved his music that much. Gaaaahhh I’m just so obsessed with that actual historical record that shows people back then were just as fanatic as we are about the things we love! Whoops, sorry, history lesson. That’s the most I’ll say about specific artists, because again, I don’t know how I feel about naming actual musicians. Though maybe somebody like Charles could be a young and upcoming composer(that’s also a prince hehe) that Seb is a huge fan of. I like to fit in more of the drivers, so that could actually be pretty good lmao. 

As for music in general, it was actually a pretty important thing at this time for royals to be musically trained, or at least interested in music. They really honored the arts at this point, especially music, to the point where they’d hire composers(and a large variety of musicians) to both play for the court but also teach the monarch how to play/compose Also opera was sooooo big, definitely one of the most popular pastimes/events for them. So please imagine vettonso getting dressed up in their fanciest clothing, and sitting together in their special, honored seats in the theater. Seb definitely likes the more comedic ones, whereas Fernando prefers the dramas, and makes fun of Seb for crying during tragic scenes. But is also weirdly touched about seeing such an intimate side to his husband, and how easy it is for Seb to show his emotions so openly. He always ends up lending Seb his handkerchief. Then always denies it when Seb tries to hand it back, like “I SWEAR YOU’RE TEARING UP TOO RIGHT NOW!” Fernando, subtly wiping his eyes, replies, “no talking during the opera.”

Also hmmmm if I had to pick instruments. I think they both play, but Fernando is more talented and focused, whereas Seb is willing to try anything, even if he’s not always great. Fernando seems like a harpsichord kind of guy to me, he would go crazy with it. I think he’d like how much dexterity and focus you need to master it. Meanwhile Seb’s like, “which is the loudest/most fun?” So I think he’d be at least okay with most baroque instruments, but prefers to learn new things rather than spend all his time just mastering one. Now I’m imagining them playing a duet together…of music they composed together. Aghhhhh imagine sitting together at a desk, adding parts to the piece, and arguing with each other over it. I think it’d end up being better than any piece they could compose individually, because they balance each other’s extremes out. Getting ink all over their hands, and then each other. 

[hellolimitless]

KinnPorsche Review

Tropes : Mafia Heir-Bodyguard love story - Enemies to lovers - Whipped boy - Jealousy - Some type of Love Triangle - Hidden Identity - Rich lead with Poor lead

Trigger Warnings : Graphic depiction of Vi*lence - M*rder - Du*ious Consent - Dr*gged - Sex*al Assa*lt - To*ture

Note : I am aware of the behind the scenes of the making of the show. After the fell off with the first production company which could resulted to the show being never made. The main lead Mile Phakphum used his connections to find a new company and accepted not to be paid for starring as one of the title character. The vast majority of the original actors came back and the production could start. However as much respect i have for them and love to see the actors being so involved in a BL production, i can't hold back the criticism i have for some aspects of the show.

Positive

The casting was wonderfully done. I had reserve at first for some of the casting but it vanished when the first episode aired. All actors embodied their characters perfectly.

A diverse set of characters as each one has their own personality and differentiated with others and were recognisable.

The acting is by far the most positive aspect I have with this series. All performances were magnificent. The fact that they could transmit emotions without dialogue and only with their facial expression proved what amazing actors they are. Especially since it’s the first acting role for some of them.

The chemistry between the romantic pairings and also the friend group was there. There was not one pairing that I felt was forced or hard to watch because there wasn’t any sparks. I was more scared of Porschay and Kim because of the real-life age difference that limited their interactions compared to the two others pairing but they did good.

Cinematography was really pretty and they found really great locations notably for the forest arc and Kinn x Porsche first date

You can feel the characters are rich and they showed it through multiple ways from the house, the cars, the jewellery. The rich lead in BL drama is no rarity but obviously for budget problems, others BL had a hard time showing the character richness.

The first half (up to ep 7) were the most interesting and gripping. Of course there were some problems for me like Porsche bodyguard training that I felt was too fast and maybe Kinn x Porsche relationship swift was abrupt but still good episodes.

The show had the best “vilain” by far that can almost be on par with Korean drama vilains and for Kdrama viewers, it’s not a small thing, with Vegas. The characterisation, the acting, the impact he had on every scene he appeared is promising for the future of BL.

I appreciate that there wasn’t the regular “internalised homophobia” or “coming out process” and that everything was not make a big deal with their sexualities. Just thoughtful conversations.

Negative

The humour was for me the most negative aspect of the show. At first, it was well integrated through Porsche clumsiness in a new environment and Tankhun eccentric personality but by the middle-end of the show, it became painful and cringey. In my opinion, it affected the characters and the storyline as we lost minutes of a too long comical scene ( Ex : the scary drama where Porsche was freaking out and punched Pol) that could have went elsewhere and dumbed-down what should have been clever and insightful characters.

Uneven screen time between the pairings. I know Kinnporsche is the main pairing as they are literally in the title of the show and it’s their story but they had 2 others pairings that were also important, one in particular, that ended up being underwhelming because of the lack of screentime they had. I think for Vegas and Pete, they were probably scared to put too much of them because of the backlash due to the graphic nature of them but if it was the case, why did they were heavily promoted through interviews and had their solo trailers + they were immensely toned down compared to the novel. At the end, Vegas and Porsche shared more scenes together than Pete and Vegas. I was angry that episode 12 put only VegasPete scenes at the beginning of the episode and then it was all Kinnporsche. For Porschay and Kim, I think they didn’t know what to do with them honestly as their pairing do not have much importance in the novel.

Bad management of the budget. From what I have seen from the behind the stage, a lot of scenes could be last minute decision, notably the Kinn x Porsche underwater scene that was not on the script but one of the director thought it would look good, except that it was going to take a good chunk of their budget and to be honest, the scene didn’t even look good. I thought that every underwater scene were badly filmed but budget was lost in there. Bad management of the budget had repercussion to a lot of stuff, notably the five stars hotel gala in episode 2 that looked like a disguise party.

Disappearance and under-utilised characters, the friends of Porsche disappeared at the end of the series for Porsche to stay with Kinn’s friends that were also under-utilised especially since a love triangle (Cheating ?) between them and Porsche’s friend was teased during the bar scene in episode 3. Tankhun and Kim should have had more time for them other than Kimlock Holmes which led to nothing, especially since Kim was really intriguing as a character. The other just being the eccentric older brother that is coming for his comical scene and used as a plot device notably for Pete disappearance. The fathers were also not really present when they could have been important. Same for Macau. Characters introduced that disappeared like the doctor and the female assassin and extras where the bar and the mafia house were just empty at some point.

The second part of the show (ep 8 to 13) was weaker in my opinion

Kinn and Porsche were sacrificed and their ship became painful during the second part of the show as they were used as a plot-device by giving them a lack of trust, constant misunderstanding and lack of communication. In the beginning, it was okay as they just started to know each other but at the end, we just went back and forth between betrayal-reconciliation- once again betrayal-reconciliation. Also the fact their funny scenes were longer than any serious conversation was annoying. The scene where Porsche keep retaking photos because they didn’t look good during their first date was longer than their conversation after the Tawan incident. If it wasn’t for Apo and Mile amazing acting and chemistry, Kinnporsche would have been really different and not in a good way. A lot of their useless screen time could have went else where to develop other characters or pairing

The uneven time spent for comical scene and serious scenes that ruined a lot of scenes in my opinion. Comical scenes were unlimited while serious were short and ended almost instantly. I think the producers were in a twilight zone, because of the show adult nature that is quite rare in the BL genre and may not fit the teenage demographic of BL, they didn’t want to lose too much of an audience so they went to the standard BL route with the funny moments and stuff except they went too far and so lost the mature audience that waited for this type of series for a long time. They didn’t think that instead of the average BL viewers, new viewers were going to come in and they did. I have seen a lot of people who had never seen a BL, intrigued with Kinnporsche and started to watch.

I had also problems with the filming that I thought was shaky and not symmetrical at some point, action scenes in particular. The lightning was also bad even if I appreciated that they gave each character a colour to represent them. Of course, the mafia aspect was forgotten but I was told it was never a mafia story but a love story…

Introduced plotline that were dished like Kinn always going out with body guards for his safety and then at the end, he can go out by himself normally. No consequences for Ken, Big, Tawan actions/demise in the long term.

Rating : 6/10

Favourite episode : 7

Worst episode : 8

Rewatch Value : Yes

Aging like milk : No, I think it still going to hold it’s own years after

Entering my top 10 BL : Yes

Impact : I really hope this drama success is going to push mature BL with good quality, work in the script and good acting. I am not talking about producing mature BL like Check out or Unforgotten Night.

I just wish one day BL from any countries could come close to the quality of Korean dramas.

[doubleleoenergy]

VI. Burning Desire, Lolita Series

I drive fast, wind in my hair, push it to the limits 'cause I just don't care. I've got a burning desire for you, baby.

Series Masterlist

Pairing: bestfriendsdad!Andy Barber x fem!reader

Warnings: dirty texts, teasing, daddy kink, face-fucking, ass-fucking, dirty talk, name-calling (whore, slut), rough fucking. I apologize for the filth.

Words: 2355

Summary: Andy takes the reigns

Y/N had been on cloud nine since their weekend getaway, when her and Andy had become official. Since then y/n had spent many nights sneaking into Andy’s bedroom when Jacob and the other guys were asleep, playing footsie under the dinner table and doing ‘late nights’ at the office when they were actually getting dinner or seeing a movie. It was fun sneaking around, the thrill of getting caught turning y/n on every time they fucked.

It was finally Friday, Jacob and the guys were traveling to New York City for the weekend, leaving y/n and Andy with the house to themselves. Y/N was extra chipper when she got ready for work, wanting to tease Andy until they were finally alone for the evening.

Andy walked out of the bedroom, his cock twitching in his work trousers at the sight of her bent over the stove. Her deep red bodysuit hugged her figure, her breasts overflowing in the thin fabric. His eyes trailed down to her plaid skirt, the hem barely covering her perky ass. Her long legs looked toned and tanned from her days lounging by their pool, her strappy stilettos keeping her height just below Andy’s chin.

“Good Morning, Lolita.” Andy licked his lips as he took his normal seat at the counter, taking a sip of his coffee.

“Good Morning, handsome.” She chirped, turning around to set their plates on the counter. They both sat in silence as they ate, y/n’s stiletto rubbing up and down the side of Andy’s trousers. He was hard as a rock by now, tugging on the crotch of the fabric to acquire some sort of relief.

“You in the mood for a morning fuck?” Andy questioned, watching her hips sway as she cleaned their plates in the sink.

Y/N tilted her head from side to side, pretending to think about his offer. “No, I’m good.” And with that she grabbed her bag and headed for the garage. Andy’s brows furrowed in frustration as he followed her out the door and tried to fill his brain with the most unattractive thoughts in order to calm his cock.

Their day at the office was normal, filled with clients and meetings, y/n teasing Andy relentlessly with her revealing outfit. Andy wasn’t the only one taking note, every man in the office, and even some of the women, were drooling at their desks as y/n handed them copies of work files or brought them their lunch for the afternoon.

The last straw for Andy was watching y/n conversing with Neal at his desk, Neal’s eyes trained on her chest. She knew Neal was interested in her, and she was trying to rile Andy up with the way she was leaning in. She even fake-laughed at his jokes, touching his shoulder lightly as she giggled.

Andy had had enough of the scene in front of him, striding over to Neal’s desk, his eyes filled with rage. “Y/N, you can head home for the day, we’ve got everything covered here.” His tone was firm and final. “I’ll call you an Uber.”

Y/N kept her expression professional, gathering her things and walking past Andy casually, as if they were just coworkers. Once she had gotten in the Uber, her phone buzzed with a text from Andy.

Andy: I’m sorry. You knew what you were doing with Neal though.

Y/N: You sent me home for talking to Neal? I was just being friendly.

Andy: Don’t play dumb, you were trying to rile me up.

Y/N: Did it work?

Andy: You’re on your way home, aren’t you?

Y/N: So, it worked.

Andy: Don’t try to rile me up, I mean it y/n.

Y/N: You haven’t even seen what I can do, Andy.

Y/N arrived at the house fifteen minutes later, bidding the Uber driver a farewell before unlocking the front door and stepping inside. The house was quiet as she set her purse on the counter before climbing up the stairs and grabbing a special ‘prop’ for today. If Andy was going to complain about her riling him up at work, she’d turn the riling up to the extreme.

She tossed the item on the bed, slipping out of her skirt and heels, leaving her in just the tight red bodysuit. She sat back on the bed, holding her phone above her before starting her mission for the afternoon.

Andy sat in the conference room, listening to one of his colleagues’ drone on about one of their clients, his attention faltering as his phone buzzed on the table. Andy left it face down, focusing on his coworker again when he heard his phone buzz again, and again, and again. He seemed to be the only one who noticed, plucking his phone off the table and holding it down in his lap. Four new messages from y/n. He unlocked the screen and immediately regretted the decision, a mix of desire and anger spreading across his features.

The first text was a simple photo of y/n lying on his bed in just her bodysuit, her curves jutting out and leaving nothing to the imagination. His cock twitched as he viewed the next photo, glancing around the room to make sure none of his colleagues were looking in his direction. The next photo was of y/n splayed out on the bed, the bodysuit tossed to the floor, leaving her naked body laying against the plush comforter. The angle she chose for the photo had her ass popping out from behind her, her breasts perked up in view, her thighs open with her pussy on display.

Andy was now painfully erect in his trousers, clearing his throat and locking his phone, putting his files in front of his body to hide his growing erection as he stood. “I’m sorry everyone, I’m not feeling well. I’ll be taking the rest of the afternoon off. Megan, please take all my calls while I’m out. I’ll be back on Monday.” And with that he excused himself out of the conference room, hiding his cock all the way to his Audi, waiting until he was inside to open his phone again.

The last two texts were videos. Andy clicked on the first video, a groan leaving his lips. She was moaning into the phone, fucking her pussy with a light pink dildo, tugging on her nipples. ‘Oh my god, Andy, I’m gonna cum.’ She whined, fucking herself harder as she came undone on the flexible cock.

Andy’s fingers fumbled with his keys, roaring his Audi to life. One hand gripped the steering wheel, the other holding his phone up to re-watch the video. He sped his car along the road, scrolling to the last video and clicking play, his body instantly enraged.

The phone had been propped up against the pillows, y/n’s face against the bed, ass up facing the screen. Her left hand was working the light pink dildo in and out of her pussy, the fingers of her right-hand pumping in and out of her ass. His cock was begging for relief, and he could hear his heart pounding in his ears.

Oh, she was in for it now.

Y/N was lounging in one of Andy’s button-down work shirts, flipping through Netflix trying to decide on what to watch when she heard the garage door open and slam shut, flinching at the sound. Hard footsteps walked down the hallway, stopping at the door of Andy’s bedroom as he pushed it open, taking in the sight of y/n sitting casually in bed. As if she hadn’t teased him endlessly a mere twenty minutes earlier.

“Hey babe, you’re home already. Finished with your meeting earlier than expected?” She asked, clicking absentmindedly on one of the shows that popped up.

“Are you fucking kidding me, y/n?” Andy tossed his jacket to the floor, tugging at his tie until he pulled it free from his neck, his eyes dark as he bore into her own.

“What? You didn’t like my messages?” She teased, her eyes trailing to the large bulge in his trousers.

“Is that what you wanted, y/n? Wanted to embarrass me at work? Acting like a desperate whore with those texts.” He took his time unbuttoning his shirt, dropping it from his shoulders before pulling his belt off, starting to push down the trousers to provide some freedom for his cock.

“So...you didn’t like them?” She asked, cocking her head to the side. Her eyes watched as he peeled off his clothes, standing completely naked in the doorframe, his cock lying flat against his chest.

“Of course, I liked them. But what if I had opened those videos in front of my colleagues? I would’ve been in so much trouble at work, Lolita.” He stepped closer to the bed, grabbing her foot with his hand and tugging her down to the edge. “And for that, you’re going to be punished.”

Y/N’s eyes were wide with a mix of fear and excitement, her pussy clenching around nothing.

“Take off my shirt, y/n. Lay your head off the bed.” He instructed, letting go of her ankle. Y/N sat up, unbuttoning his shirt and tossing it to the floor, turning around and hanging her head off the edge of the bed, her eyes staring up at his fully erect cock.

Andy moved just above her face, his balls resting against her forehead. “You want to act like a slut? You’ll get treated like one.” He tapped the head of his cock against her lips, smearing precum on them. “Open.”

She does as she’s told, opening her mouth wide as Andy pushes his cock inch by inch inside her, feeling his cock pressing against the back of her throat. He pulls out suddenly, one hand gripping at her hair as he plunged back inside, cutting off her airway. Tears sprang to her eyes, choking on his cock as he pulled out again, spit running from her mouth down her face.

“You can take it.” He commanded, snapping his hips back into her. He kept up a brutal rhythm, pumping in and out, spurred on by her sputtering beneath him. Y/N’s pussy was dripping, turned on by his sudden need to control her in the bedroom. He continued to fuck her face before finally pulling out, stepping back to look at her.

Her mascara was smeared along her cheeks from her tears, a mix of spit dripping from her mouth into her hair and onto the floor. She looked absolutely fucked out.

“So pretty, Lolita. You can get up now, hands and knees.” He instructs. The blood rushes back to her head as she moves, struggling to get in position at first but finally settling with her eyes facing the wall in front of her.

His hands roamed up her hips, squeezing and pinching at her breasts before he gripped his cock in his right hand, rubbing it along her wet folds.

“I think I deserve to fuck this tight ass; don’t you think?” Y/N gasped, turning her head back to face him, her eyes wide.

“Andy, you’re too big and I-” He cuts her off as he plunges his cock deep into her pussy, her eyes fluttering closed before he pulls out completely.

“You fucked yourself on your fingers, riling me up on my drive home. I think it’s only fair.” His cock, now covered in her slick, moved to her tight hole, his head pressing up against it. Y/N mewled underneath him, her pussy dripping. “Beg me.”

She whined, resting her face against the bed and looking back at him. “Please, Andy.” His palm gave a quick slap to her ass, jolting her forward.

“You know what to call me.”

Y/N swallowed, her eyes locking on his. “Please, Daddy. Fuck my ass.” Andy growled deep in his chest, wasting no time as he pushed the thick head of his cock past her tight ring of muscles, her cries below him spurring him on.

“Fuck, Lolita. You fucked this hole with your fingers and you’re still so tight. Got a vice grip on my cock.” He keeps pushing inside, her tight walls gripping him harder with each push forward. Andy finally stops moving inside of her, giving y/n time to adjust to the feeling of his cock inside.

He slowly works his cock out so that just the tip is inside her before slamming back in, y/n letting out a high-pitched scream of delight. Andy twirls her hair around his hand, tugging her up so that she’s flush against his chest as he fucks in and out of her.

“Is this what you wanted all along? Wanted me to come home and fuck your tight ass? Maybe next time I’ll make you hold that pink dildo in your pussy, stuff your ass full of my cock and make you cum repeatedly with it inside you.”

Y/N gasped; her body held up by Andy’s grip as he fucked into her ass mercilessly. “Please, Daddy.”

“You like that huh, my little Lolita? If you’re gonna act like a whore you’re gonna get treated like one.” He moves his fingers down to rub her clit, feeling her squirming against him. “Cum, Lolita. Want you to cum while I fuck your ass.” A few more flicks to her clit and she’s coming, tightening her grip on his cock inside of her. 

“Fuck, y/n, gonna fill your ass with my cum. Want it to leak out of you all weekend.” Andy thrusts twice more before he presses deep inside, coating her walls with his thick cum. He pumps his cock inside of her, pushing the cum deep before pulling out, a trail of cum dripping onto the bed.

Y/N flops onto her stomach panting, her hair matted with spit and sweat. Andy moves to lay beside her, tugging her back against his chest, pressing a row of kisses along her shoulder.

“Did so good, Lolita.” He whispered; another kiss placed on her neck.

“I promise not to tease you like that at work.” She mumbled, her eyes closing as she fought to stay awake.

“Next time, take my offer for morning sex.”

Tagging those who may be interested. Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list: @my-divine-death​, @blackwiddows​, @sokovianheadtilt, @fuckandfluff, @rattlemyb0nes​, @rootcrop, @turtoix, @sylvielaufeydottirr​, @jeremyrennermakesmesmile, @ccmarvelxx, @rebelemilu​, @tenaciousperfectionunknown​, @serendipityrogers​, @agentofbarnes​

[dindjarindiaries]

10 Underrated Quotes from Season 2 of The Mandalorian

As previously seen with season one, I’m here with another list of underrated quotes from The Mandalorian—this time, from season two. I’m going to highlight some of my favorite quotes from the season or quotes that stick out to me and why I think they’re noteworthy.

I don’t own any rights to content from The Mandalorian and, if you haven’t watched season two yet, potential spoilers are ahead!

1. “Pay attention when a superior addresses you.” (Chapter 15: The Believer)

While this scene certainly isn’t underrated, I believe this line spoken by Valin Hess when he finally catches Din Djarin’s attention by the Imperial terminal deserves some reflection. It’s interesting to think about how responding to Hess’ first call of “Trooper” is something Djarin just... wouldn’t think to do, or is something he thought he could get away with. It seems that Mandalorians, while they value their leadership, don’t focus on hierarchical structures in their society, so Djarin isn’t used to having to obey orders like that. It’s even worse that he has to deal with this unfamiliar situation without his helmet for the first time since he was a child. It really draws our attention to how little Djarin knows about the Empire and other organizations outside of his covert.

2. “This is the Way.” (Chapter 11: The Heiress)

I think many of us can agree that the first time this statement is uttered in this episode, we’re less than pleased about it, thanks to Bo-Katan’s ridiculing tone. When it happens later on, however, there’s so much meaning packed behind the words. First, from Bo-Katan, who has witnessed Mando’s bravery firsthand and has likely realized how wrong she was making assumptions about him based off his covert and his traditions. In return, Mando’s response of the phrase is strained. Why? Well, it’s up to interpretation—but to me, I think it’s because Mando’s in awe of the idea of these Mandalorians who have already proven their abilities to him actually coming to respect him and the Way he’s known ever since he was a child. It was a great moment of reconciliation.

3. “Is he speaking? Do you... understand him?” (Chapter 13: The Jedi)

Something I love about this line in particular is the way it’s delivered. There’s such desperation concealed behind Mando’s modulator that tells us so much about what he’s been thinking while pacing the forest floor nervously. This desperation also tells us how eager he’s been to communicate with his child. Mando and Grogu have been together for a long time, now, and we know they’ve had plenty of one-sided conversations. I’m sure Mando has longed to know what Grogu’s been thinking in return, and now that he might have an opportunity to, we can really hear that sheer curiosity and desperation in his voice with this line he offers to Ahsoka.

4. “Jet back, you’re faster that way.” (Chapter 12: The Siege)

I’m sure we all have our mixed opinions about the season one Nevarro crew, but this moment in particular really strikes the depth of their friendship and companionship. Once they’ve all heard about Moff Gideon’s return and his request to get the child once again, there’s no doubt in anyone’s minds that Mando wouldn’t be going back for him immediately. Even though the job isn’t completely done and Greef, Cara, and Mythrol all still need a way out, they don’t even try to ask for Mando’s help. Instead, Cara insists that he gets back as fast as he can, even if that means the three of them don’t make it out themselves. I really love how that shared understanding and dedication to the child in all situations shows their deep friendship amongst the trio (and Mythrol).

5. “I’ve spent much time on Tatooine. I never saw a Mandalorian there.” (Chapter 9: The Marshal)

Mando’s response to Gor Karesh insisting that he knows of a Mandalorian on Tatooine could potentially be telling us more than we’re aware of. As far as we know, Mando’s only been to Tatooine once—and it was only for two days, tops. But here, he’s saying he’s “spent much time” there, which means it’s possible that Mando lived on Tatooine for a time while the Bounty Hunter’s Guild still operated out of there. If you think about it more, Mando knew exactly where to go for some work in Chapter 5, another hint that there’s more to Mando’s time on Tatooine than we’re aware of. The same thing could be said about his knowledge of Tusken and his friendship with the Sand People. Any time we get a potential hint of Mando’s backstory, I’m excited about it!

6. “Am I under arrest?” (Chapter 10: The Passenger)

This line comes quickly in the midst of Mando’s conversation with the New Republic pilots in Chapter 10, but I really love it. These few words say a lot about Mando’s character and how he responds to praise. He’s just been told all about his heroics in Chapter 6, when he risked his own life for Lieutenant Davan and reprimanded Mayfeld, Xi’an, and Burg—and when asked whether it was true, Mando offers no confirmation. He doesn’t even own up to his good acts. Instead, he simply acts this question, remaining the practical man we know him to be. This truly shows us the humble nature of Mando and how he tries his best to focus on the present rather than dwelling on things he’s done in the past, good or bad.

7. “... talent without training is nothing.” (Chapter 16: The Rescue)

On the surface, this seems like a very practical statement that many Jedi make throughout the series (see Ahsoka talking to Mando in Chapter 13 and Obi-Wan talking to Luke in Episode IV: A New Hope). When you think about it more, especially in context, you might be able to see Luke hinting at something much deeper. Luke heard Grogu’s cry for help from the Seeing Stone where it’s very possible Grogu was talking about his desire to protect his father by strengthening his abilities. Luke knows all too well what happens when you abandon training in an attempt to protect those you love—as for him, it didn’t go well. Yoda tried to warn him but he didn’t listen. Now that he’s learned his lesson, Luke can offer this wisdom to a Grogu who wants to keep his father safe. He knows that training first will then allow Grogu to protect himself and his father to his heart’s content, just as Luke was better able to protect his friends in Episode VI after he finished his training.

8. “Okay, I’m gonna protect you.” (Chapter 14: The Tragedy)

The scene in which this line is delivered is what truly establishes this episode as a tragedy. Mando’s tried three times to break through Grogu’s Force-field—not because he wasn’t thinking, but because he was so desperate—and now he has to come to terms with the fact that he’ll only hurt himself more if he keeps trying it again and again. Mando’s voice is pretty shaky if you listen to it closely enough in these lines, reluctant to leave his child atop the mountain alone but eager to protect him somehow. We know Mando doesn’t like to feel helpless, but we can sense he feels that way in this moment. He doesn’t even know if Grogu can hear him, yet he keeps speaking to him with such fierce protectiveness and reassurance. This is a promise he doesn’t fall through with, even if Grogu does fall into the Imperials’ hands for a time.

9. “Give it to me.” (Chapter 15: The Believer)

This is the moment where we all really knew what was about to go down. What I love about this quote is that Mando says it with no remorse. He says it firmly, insisting upon doing whatever it takes to get those coordinates and get to Grogu. He’s already made up his mind. Despite the fact he gave his word earlier about not showing his face, Mando’s going to do what he has to for his son. The firm way this line is delivered proves that, especially when he shifts from taking a backseat to Mayfeld to taking charge again as he pulls the data stick right from Mayfeld’s grip. I just really love Mando’s determination in this scene, despite the circumstances.

10. “I’ll see you again. I promise.” (Chapter 16: The Rescue)

Do I particularly think this line is underrated? No, not the direct meaning of it. But when you watch Star Wars Rebels and think more about the genius of Dave Filoni, there’s a whole new layer of meaning attached to these words. For those who may not have watched the show yet (you definitely should!), Kanan and Hera are two people who care very much for each other (wink wink) who once had to exchange a goodbye very similar to Mando and Grogu. Kanan was about to go on a very dangerous mission without Hera, unsure of what would happen to him, when he delivered these words: “We’ll see each other again. I promise.” This is almost exactly what Mando says to Grogu in the face of their temporary separation. The good news is Kanan and Hera did get to see each other again—but Kanan was changed forever. Will this happen with Mando or Grogu? It’s possible. But it’s just another one of those moments that makes me yell “FILONI!” in Darth Maul style.

[brownandblackpearls]

📜 🖋 𝒞ourting with 𝒟r. 𝒟evorak (Julian x BlackReader) Pt.3

PART 3 SUMMARY:

You are a reputable, young beauty of means in Vesuvia, enjoying the winter courting season. An odd letter from an odd doctor finds its way to your door. You are on the second segment of your first date, attending a play in Vesuvia.

─── Julian x black female reader

─── imagery + fiction

─── explicit smut

─── regency/historical/fantasy, courtship rituals, wealthy! MC, love letters, drama, handsome redheads

☾ previous. next. 

.・゜゜・✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:.・゜゜・✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:・゜゜・．✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: *

.・゜゜・✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:.・゜゜・✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:・゜゜・．✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: *

The obsidian carriage was a comfortable reprieve from the glare of the chilled sun rays. Drifts of snow were all too happy to try and reflect the light into your eyes, but the dark, shrouded curtains of the doctor’s vehicle saved you from the visual spotlights. 

Swept in by your courter, you sit and watch Julian seat himself before his man yips the horses and pulls you all off, down the snowswept cobblestones.

You watch Julian watching you, thinking quietly to yourself about the events that have happened thus far, and letting the moment of silence cover you both. Sometimes, silence was just as good as words. What kind of man was Julian, in silence?

Shy, it seemed. He tries to pretend to glance out the window before being reeled back into your gaze, and finally, staying there. Shoulders stiff, you could almost feel the thoughts running through his mind.

You graced him a gentle smile, an offering.

Julian is more than eager to return it, nervousness be damned.

You were beginning to understand a little better why you felt so fond of him so fast, you realized. He was so…eager. Open. Even with all the little charades of character he pulled from time to time, they were more entertaining than anything. It did not come off as malevolent or manipulative. It was more experimental than anything. As anxious as your presence seemed to make him, Julian seemed comfortable enough in himself to try different things, different ways of being.

It didn’t hurt that he was very easy to read, and he read a tale of a soft heart on his sleeve.

You were very good at keeping yours under your sleeves, and something told you that Julian—as well as many others—liked the challenge enough to rise to it.

“You’re enjoying yourself,” Julian says rather than asks, hope tingeing his tone.

“I am,” you confirm easily, showing your cards.

Pleased, his chest almost seemed to puff up in pride. You realize that Julian wants this courtship to be not just enjoyable, but memorable. Memorable enough for you to call upon him once more, memorable enough for you to savor spending time with him, to become hooked to it, and in turn, to him.

“What play shall we be seeing...?” You wonder aloud, tiring of your mental courting maps.

“It is a new showing,” Julian answers brightly, “’To Rake a Shrew’. One of my old friends behind-the-scenes, he explained some of the outline. It sounds delightfully dramatic.”

Your eyes widen. 

You’ve always enjoyed a good, romantic drama.

“Do tell.”

Julian leans forward, looking every bit the cat that caught the canary and intended on sharing its prize. His large frame and sweeping height becomes much more apparent in the tiny space as he forgets himself and his nerves, confidence gleaming through his silver gaze as he speaks excitedly on the play. 

He’s such a large man…yet graceful when he desires it…like reedgrass curtsying in the wind on a breezy, summer’s day. The whole of him is enough to cover you entirely. He’s visibly strong, you realize as your eyes rake over him. Yet he moves with such gentleness, especially when it concerns you. A helping hand, an assisting palm to elbow, a touch’s kiss above the lower back. You can feel the ability course through him, yet he remains composed and contained, as a proper doctor would.

Under the doctor however, there is yet a man.

With him this near, your senses flare.

His cologne is somewhat sharp, if not heady. All of him sticks out, dark, dashing, and enough to do whatever he’d like with you…to please…to pursue...to protect…

You suppress a shiver, taking in the sight of him. You’re not new at this particular game of attraction, but you’re still made of flesh and blood, and behave so. You swallow slightly, ignoring the way your heart picks up speed.

“…?” You suddenly realize Julian has called your name, and you’ve yet to answer.

“Forgive me,” you apologize. “I was caught in a thought! Please, tell me once more. I shall not wander again.”

Julian tilts his head curiously before smiling. 

“It’s quite alright. I can be a bore, I’ve been told! What thought draws you away from me?”

‘You, actually.’

“Nothing of imminent concern, I assure you. I’d much rather hear you tell me of your friend and this play.”

Julian pauses before nodding, dropping the matter easily. 

“Well, ‘To Rake a Shrew’ is about a Casanova descending upon a bustling town to find more conquests in love. He is a slave to beauty, but unfortunately for him, the most sought-after beauty in the town is a shrew unlike any other. She will bend to no one, especially not clownish, predictable seducers such as him. He changes his tactics to try and best her at his own game, however she wins in the end and dupes him while entertaining the love of another. And so...he attempts to seduce them both! The outcome of that mess is yet to be determined.”

You clap, terribly excited now. You love interesting plots and twisted triangles of romance, tripe and as common as they may be.

“Ooh, how devilish!”

“Indeed,” Julian agrees. “Do you think he’ll succeed in the end?”

“Well,” you suppose, “I’d have to see this Casanova. I want to know if his wooing is actually something of interest, or if he is simply full of his own air. Seducing two lovers at once? The gall! The work!”

Julian chuckles.

“Some could manage, I’d assume.”

“Oh?” You wonder. “Like who? You know people who could draw even those already entangled, in? That’s quite a feat.” 

Surely he didn’t mean himself...? Julian seemed the shy sort, but was it all really an act? Could he be a playboy? He was certainly handsome enough to pull it off...perhaps you'd gotten ahead of yourself thinking that he was easy to read? It hadn't even been a day.

Julian pins a heavy gaze on you before flicking his eyes down to his hands casually, adjusting the hem of his glove. The leather creaks in a wonderful, quiet way over his regal fingers.

“I think perhaps, I know a few who could make that Casanova look like child’s play.”

‘Oh…’

“A few, you say?”

“Perhaps less than that, even.”

“...One?”

“Would it please you to hear so?” Julian teases lightly, a low heat simmering underneath it all.

“Only if it pleases you, to please me,” you test, returning the flame. “So it is one.”

“Perhaps.”

“Hm…an allure like no other is on the loose in our city…Dr. Devorak, should Vesuvia be afraid?” You jest, playing along with him.

Julian’s fingers halt at the sound of his title in your mouth. He levels another look at you, a smirk drawing up his face.

“Vesuvia will last. I, on the other hand…”

The carriage door sounds out a rapping of knuckles. Neither of you look away from one another. The challenge you both find there is too sweet.

“Sir Devorak, Lady _______, we have arrived at the Theater!”

You finally decide to turn away from your suitor then, the heat of Julian’s interest surprising you a little into your own nerves. 

You like what you see there, you had simply…not expected to see it so soon in such a...heated manner...? Where did his nerves go?

‘So much for shy!’

The carriage door opens and Julian steps out first before clearing the snow with one big sweep of his boot, and lifts out a gloved hand to assist you. You gently take it, allowing him to ease you down onto the stones of the street. Though the sun is high in the sky now, the chill of winter has crept further into the air. 

You do your best to suppress a shiver, but the concerned look on Julian’s face tells you that you’ve been caught.

“Allow me?” He asks, offering his arm for you.

“Naturally,” you consent, taking his arm in a deeper hold and stepping close to leech the warmth from him. Julian, though blushing now, seems all too pleased to have you nearer than propriety allowed, excluding chilly winter walks of course. No suitor would let the one they were courting be left out to the elements, unguarded! That was a quick recipe to losing out.

Julian leads you both away from the carriage, past the doorman, the playbill boys, the ushers, and down to the head seater.

“Tickets?” The staff member crows.

“We’ve our own box in the center section,” Julian says, his voice clear and assured. 

You quietly watch as he easily discusses your seating with the somewhat confused staff member before watching as the worker realizes his grave error and bows, showing you both your way to your accommodations. 

“Right here sir, madam! Watch your step! Ring the bell if you need anything—!“

A sudden noise makes all of you turn to the entrance to the private box, curtains now swishing aside as an angry, bustling man launches towards the staff member.

“This is my box!” The man bellows, puff sleeves flying. “I am gravely insulted. How do they train you louts these days? Even in Vesuvia’s worse I’ve never seen such a display of disrespect. I’ll be seeing your manager about this, most certainly.”

The man advances but Julian moves before anyone else really can, cutting the stranger off at the throat of the box’s entrance and herding him back with his own immense volume and size.

“Surely we can settle this like gentlemen,” Julian says in a soothing way, with a tone that is anything but.

“I beg your pardon? The only way this will ‘settle’ is if you all escort yourselves out of my box—“

The man tries to sidestep Julian, but finds himself blocked with every motion he makes. Julian is large, imposing, and will not let him pass.

Julian leans in then, his voice murmuring so low and so subdued that you can make no sense of it outside of the rumbling vibrations that do reach you. The staff member looks just as confused and out of the loop as you feel, but the man before Julian seems to understand with crystal clarity as trepidation colors his face. It soon melds into fear, to a quick, prideful facade.

The stranger takes a step back, scoffing loudly before exiting the box in a flurry of curtains and stomping boots.

Julian turns back to you both, a strained, yet somewhat humored look on his face.

“Well! That’s taken care of. Dizzy man, that one. Must’ve lost his way.”

“Ah,” you note, unsure of how to respond.

You were...admittedly nervous when that hostile, aggressive stranger entered the box so suddenly. It felt as if a fight had been imminent with a temper like that. And yet…

…Julian effectively diffused the situation. You’re fairly sure he used his own version of hostility, but he was conscious and chose to hide that side of him from your sight. You’re not sure why, aside from manners. A show of protectiveness does very little to wane your ever increasing interest in him.

Quite the opposite.

Maybe the Doctor is not as harmless or bumbling as he portrays himself to be...?

“Are you alright?” Julian asks you. “Is this box fine, or would you prefer another? That man will not be returning, but if you’re not comfortable, I will ensure that—“

“This is fine,” you insist gently. “As long as you’re here, I have no need to worry.”

When the initial surprise in your full trust finally fades from his eyes, Julian gives you the warmest of smiles.

“I—well, I—yes!”

The usher sneaks out as you and Julian lock gazes. The lights begin to dim in the theater. The crowd rumbles below in the pit, up in the stands, and from the teetering little boxes on all ends. 

The show is about to begin.

“This way,” Julian says, offering his hand.

Julian helps guide you to your seat before securing the privacy of your box and seating himself beside you. For a moment, he is a flurry of cape and leather and boot before settling in to the cushy theater couch. His long legs jut out and he folds them, eyes on the stage, excitement in them. 

You can’t help but follow suit, your eyes trailing the orchestra down below as they prepare to play alongside the show and its actors. 

Suddenly, you feel eyes on you.

You take it in stride, keeping your gaze focused, but you know that Julian is peering at you. The dimmed lights have certainly sparked a more romantic mood than even the lit, dazzling, gilded chandeliers of the theater could evoke. There, in the cover of shadow and stage light, you feel yourself becoming the center of his particular show.

“You could have a portrait commissioned,” you joke lightly. “That would last you far longer, Doctor.”

A smooth chuckle resounds from your side before the words.

“If you’d allow it, I’d be honored.”

Now, it is your turn to look at him.

“You jest, sir.”

“I do not.”

You feel a smile break onto your face, before you turn once again towards the stage, biting your lip in amusement. The heavy, red stage curtains part before you can speak.

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen of Vesuvia! Welcome to the grand debut of To Rake a Shrew…!”

.・゜゜・✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:.・゜゜・✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:・゜゜・．✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: *

AN: Do not copy, repost, translate, or edit any of my work. If you see someone do so, please let me know.

☾ previous. next. 

☾ check my blog for more imagines.

[allthingskenobi]

Obi-Wan in Exile – Vader

(Originally published on AllThingsKenobi.com December 13, 2020)

Welcome to the first in a series of looks into Obi-Wan Kenobi’s time in exile on Tatooine between Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith and Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope. We’ve tried to mine as much Legends and canon material as possible to help guide you through some of the period’s most common and repetitive themes so that when the new Obi-Wan Kenobi series airs, you’ll be ready.

Not everything he ever did in the entire 19 years will be explored here, but as we said, we’ve tried our best to pick out the most prominent and impactful moments to give everyone a better understanding of exactly what one hermit had to endure out there all alone in the sandy deserts of Tatooine.

While Vader himself was not a common reoccurrence throughout Obi-Wan’s exile, the threat of him certainly was…well until now that is. As Vader so often does, he’s recently made his way back to the forefront of the story and will seemingly loom very large over the upcoming series, thus moving us to start with exactly what that might mean for Obi-Wan and how it might work with the canon boundaries we currently have. Yes, we understand that canon can change and probably will, but we do love a challenge.

“Vader,” Obi-Wan muttered. “Vader’s alive.”

DARK LORD: THE RISE OF DARTH VADER BY JAMES LUCENO L

Let’s start at the beginning. We have one instance in Legends where we see Obi-Wan learn that Vader survived Mustafar and it comes mere months after his exile on Tatooine begins. He first hears the name “Vader” mentioned again on the HoloNet during one of his trips into Mos Eisley and nearly faints before panicking to find a way to take Luke and run. (1) This early recognition seems to be reconfirmed in later canon as one of Ben’s greatest fears in the third year of his exile continued to be “sand crunching beneath heavy black boots, a dark cape billowing in the desert squall, the mechanical wheeze of a respirator.” (2) So will we see Obi-Wan only just learning of Vader’s fate in the tenth year of his exile? I’d say that’s highly doubtful unless the show provides a flashback for us—which we will gladly accept.

“Instead, Padmé was dead and Obi-Wan was running for his life, as stripped of everything as Vader was. Without friends, family, purpose…”

DARK LORD: THE RISE OF DARTH VADER BY JAMES LUCENO L

At the same time, Vader was also very convinced that Obi-Wan was still alive and would remain so despite his greatest efforts. Because if there was one thing Vader was good at it, it was holding a grudge like he held a lightsaber, and he would expend quite a bit of energy over the 19 years between episodes III and IV searching for his old Master. (Just ask anyone he comes across in the comics.) Oh, and let’s not forget that it’s also Vader who would later inform a disbelieving Tarkin, in no uncertain terms, that Obi-Wan was still alive and on the Death Star. (3)

“No, I can’t [leave],” Ben said, firmly. “I must be here.”

KENOBI BY JOHN JACKSON MILLER L

“The core of Anakin that resides in Vader grasps that Tatooine is the source of nearly everything that causes him pain. Vader will never set foot on Tatooine, if only out of fear of reawakening Anakin.”

DARK LORD: THE RISE OF DARTH VADER BY JAMES LUCENO L

Now that we’ve established that they both knew of each other’s survival, it begs the question as to why their paths never actually crossed in 19 years. Personally, I think it’s fairly simple: Obi-Wan would never leave Tatooine and Vader would never go anywhere near it. We will discuss Obi-Wan not leaving Tatooine more in-depth at a later time (and yes, we know what Ewan said about having a ‘rollicking time’), but Vader would canonically never visit his home planet until well after Obi-Wan and Luke were both gone. (4)(5) And by then it was much too late.

That brings us to the most recent ‘Obi-Wan Kenobi’ news and how that fits in with what Legends and canon have told us so far. We received a lot of exciting and thought-provoking announcements in a short amount of time, and frankly, our minds haven’t stopped spinning since. Could the show undo what we currently assume to be true? Yes. Could the show work within those same parameters? Also, yes. Do I personally have any idea what’s going to happen? No. DO I THINK THE SHOW IS GOING TO BE AMAZING NO MATTER WHAT? Y E S. The goal of this exercise is to simply try and reconcile the new details to the existing Star Wars lore because I think that’s what makes it interesting. So you can take it or leave it. The choice is yours. (Until it isn’t because the show has aired and this is all pointless.)

HERE WE GO.

“[Deborah] Chow confirmed that audiences will “definitely see Obi-Wan and Darth Vader get into it again” as we see the blue blade of a hooded Obi-Wan clash with the fiery red blade of Darth Vader.”

“McGregor knows the battle will be eagerly anticipated, and he’s looking forward to performing it just as much: “Having another swing at each other might be quite satisfying for everybody. We hope that you enjoy it as much as we’re going to enjoy making it.””

DEBORAH CHOW AND EWAN MCGREGOR DURING THE DISNEY INVESTOR’S REEL

Not only was the “Hayden Christensen returning as Darth Vader” bombshell dropped in our laps, but we were also fed the above morsels (not once but thrice) and told to digest them. Our first reaction was a hearty and well-deserved cry of rejoicing until the realization of what this could all mean set in and it turned into a hearty and well-deserved sob.

There’s hardly a way to be disappointed in the fact that we will see Ewan and Hayden not only together again, but “getting into it” as well, but we do have to wonder what this means for the moment where Obi-Wan and Vader face each other again on the Death Star. The moment is not only pivotal to Episode IV, but I would argue, the entire saga. And it’s made even more impactful by the fact that the two men have not physically confronted each other since their fateful battle on Mustafar.

What we do know, and that which should not change, is that Vader never knew where Obi-Wan was hiding nor that he had Luke, his son, with him. That tells me two things: whatever kind of “rematch” happens here does not endanger Luke’s safety in the long run nor is it probably something that would occur more than once. I think what we’re going to see happen is isolated and “unexpected,” occurring only once ten years into Obi-Wan’s exile.

You: But, All Things Kenobi, if they could never physically meet on Tatooine or elsewhere, then what does this all mean??

Us: Do we look like Deborah Chow or Ewan McGregor? Do we have all the answers for you? NO! But can we try to help ease your mind until the show airs and I’m proven all sorts of wrong?? YES! SO PUT ON THAT TINFOIL HAT AND LET’S DO THIS!!

“I sense something. A presence I’ve not felt since…”

STAR WARS EPISODE IV: A NEW HOPE C

“Obi-Wan once thought as you do.”

STAR WARS EPISODE VI: RETURN OF THE JEDI C

Instantly our minds turned to these two particular comments from Vader in Episodes IV and VI. They’ve always stood out as peculiar, demanding explanation, but even more so now. The first is a vague, open-ended statement that leaves us to assume they hadn’t met again since they parted on the slopes of Mustafar. The second is a seemingly wistful reminiscence of a memory Vader has of his old master.

Luke had just finished making a heartfelt plea for Anakin to remember his “true self” then says, “come with me.” Where did Obi-Wan make the same appeal to only be shunned by Vader as well? Is it possible the series will show us this after all these years and possibly solve the riddle of both enigmatic statements at once? Is it possible that any such conversation might quickly devolve into another lightsaber-fueled clash??

“Count Dooku was Yoda’s apprentice.”

“And Count Dooku has fallen to the dark side.”

“All of us have apprenticed to Master Yoda.”

“He cannot be held accountable for Dooku’s descent.”

“But they are connected. Profoundly.”

THE CLONE WARS 6×11 “VOICES” C

A distinct bond exists between each Padawan and Master and unfortunately that bond does not disappear when one or the other becomes a Sith Lord. Despite the bond between Obi-Wan and Anakin being firmly closed at both ends, there’s no doubt that a presence remains. And even the most sturdy walls might crack from time to time.

Even after 19 years apart, Vader is quick to recognize when Obi-Wan is nearby and goes so far as to know his intent. “Escape is not his plan. I must face him alone.” And he’s right. (3) As for Obi-Wan, the Force has plagued him with dreams and visions, even showing him “a limbless wreck hanging in a bacta tank, necrotic skin pallid and scarred.” (2)

Could their strong connection be the vehicle that allows Obi-Wan and Anakin to confront each other once more? Within the Force they could not only converse, but we could also see them “take another swing” at each other without any physical consequences no matter who “wins.” The mental toll would also make for great drama for both men and bring a new perspective and emotional weight to several scenes in the Original Trilogy.

“If you loved me, Obi-Wan, you would have killed me.”

STAR WARS: DARTH VADER 24 BY KIERON GILLEN C

Finally, it’s quite possible that Obi-Wan might not physically be involved at all in their “rematch” and it might be entirely from Vader’s perspective. One theory could be as simple as the fact that Vader once had a training droid whose deadliest combat setting took the form of his former master. (Oh, Anakin.) (6) Another theory, and a much more likely one, could be that Vader has a Force vision or dream that allows him to recreate and relive various moments between himself and Obi-Wan, including, but not limited to, another lightsaber battle. This would be interesting to witness as every time it occurs, it means that Vader is wrestling with Anakin.

Although the Obi-Wan that continues to exist in Anakin’s psyche doesn’t seem too different from the real thing, just imagine Ewan McGregor getting to play Obi-Wan from Anakin’s point of view…I’ll just drop my mic there.

Star Wars: Darth Vader 24 by Kieron Gillen (2016) C

Star Wars: Darth Vader 5 by Charles Soule (2017) C

Citations:

(1) Dark Lord: The Rise of Darth Vader by James Luceno L

(2) “Time of Death” – From A Certain Point of View by Cavan Scott C

(3) Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope C

(4) Star Wars: Darth Vader 2016 by Kieron Gillen C

(5) Star Wars: Darth Vader 2020 by Greg Pak C

(6) Star Wars: The Force Unleashed (2008) by Haden Blackman L

[quazartranslates]

Welcome to the Nightmare Game II - CH23

**This is an edited machine translation. For more information, please [click here]**

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Chapter 23: Star Death Reality Show (VI) {cw: discussion of menstruation}

Mark and He Yi were still here!　　

Lara's conclusion greatly surprised everyone, but what she said was justified. Everyone knew that she wasn’t talking nonsense. Even now they could go outside to check and compare the footprints one by one. But there were always people who didn't want to see Lara show off.

"You said they’re still in the house, but where are they?" Janet shot out. "This house is only so big. If they were still here, they should have heard our voices, but there’s no sign of them. Where are they?"

Lara chewed on her lip and whispered, "I don't know."

Janet smiled contemptuously with a look that seemed to say, "That’s all you are".

"Qi Leren, did you find anything before you left?" Xue Jiahui asked suspiciously.

As the last one to see these two people, Qi Leren was unfortunately surrounded by all the contestants. He shook his head solemnly: "Everything was normal at the time."

"Ah, it would be great if we could ask the audience watching from outside. Compared with us, they should already know the situation clearly." Xue Jiahui, a skeptic, smiled bitterly and showed concern. "Well, let's search Annie's house. This place isn’t big, we should find them quickly with so many people."

Annie, who had been silent, suddenly looked up: "Miss Xue, if you want to search my room, please come up with a search warrant. Or do you want to wantonly violate the legal rights of a citizen?"

Janet, like a shark smelling blood, quickly changed her target: "Why? Do you have something to hide here?"

Dr. Lu tugged at Qi Leren's sleeve, curled his lips at him, and mouthed, Look, a catfight!

At this scene, the four women fought for ten minutes around the topic of whether or not to search the room. Janet always stood on the front line of tearing at and quarreled with Annie, one attacking the other's religious beliefs, and the other arguing with her for civil rights; Lara insisted on searching the house to look for the people, and her position was consistent with Janet's, but Janet choked her back rather than helping her, which made her very helpless; Xue Jiahui was anxious to find the people, though she was willing to make peace. She said a few words but couldn't stand the argument when it rose to personal attacks. She closed his mouth silently and showed an anxious expression.

The men present were helpless, obviously not wanting to get involved. It always looked like a loss when you quarreled with women in front of hundreds of millions of spectators. It was expected that if you didn't win the fight, it meant "you can’t even beat a woman". It didn't taste right, so it was better not to go into this muddy water.

Qi Leren didn't try so hard. His ears had been trained by Chen Baiqi for so long. He was now more patient than before, and has learned to observe more and be less impulsive. At the end of the day, he discovered some secret relationships between the NPCs: aside from the obvious tit-for-tat between Lara and Janet, there was Xue Jiahui's vague love for He Yi, Janet's warming to Alex's attitude, the ambiguity between Lara and Francis, and even Mark's unexpected obedience to Annie. Many details weren’t easy to find if one wasn’t looking, but they were revealed by the NPCs’ words, facial expressions, and even body language.

Finally, Du Yue, the young man with a sense of justice, lost his cool: "Stop arguing! What’s important right now is to find them. What can we do without finding them? Qianbei, let's do it!"

With this said, Annie ignored everyone and went straight to search the house.

Qi Leren sighed. Young people nowadays... were really impulsive, but this wasn’t a good idea either.

Annie paused, just wanting to loudly reprimand them, only to suddenly be choked by the dust thrown up as Du Yue lifted a rug. She immediately covered her nose and mouth, coughed, and ran out of the room awkwardly. Janet couldn't stand it either and fled the dusty room again.

Dr. Lu laughed crookedly and gave Du Yue a thumbs up: "Nice work."

Realizing his mistake, Du Yue touched the back of his head, smiled stupidly, and continued to search.

"Are you looking for a basement?" Francis asked.

"Ah... Well, since they’re one in Jing Siyu’s house, maybe there’s one in Annie's house too?" Du Yue said.

"It makes sense. Let's pull up the rugs and look for one," Francis agreed.

"Would they have gone into a basement?" Alex shrugged. "Don't waste your time. Maybe Lara made a mistake."

After that, he went out of the room to see Janet, who was dusting her body and complaining loudly that she didn't have any clothes to change into. Unless she found some clothes hidden in the village, she would have to endure the mess. Alex talked with her about finding supplies later.

Francis and Qi Leren turned the house upside down, and Lara and Xue Jiahui joined in. After an hour passed, every corner of the house was turned over, including the walls, on the ground, and even under the bed. There were no signs of He Yi and Mark, and there was no indication of a basement or hidden room. They had disappeared from the house into thin air.

While turning over the bed, Qi Leren noticed some fresh blood on the pillow where Mark had been lying, and he estimated that it was from a scrape on Mark's injured forehead.

The only thing that made him feel strange was what Dr. Lu found. He found a bandage and bloody cloth in the trash can. The blood on it had dried up and hardened, but it could be seen that there was also relatively fresh blood on it. When he pointed this out, Annie showed a strange smile: "This is something for temporary emergency use."

"Are you injured?" Qi Leren stared at her and watched her expression.

There was a hint of ridicule on Annie's face, and there was a hint of mischief—like a secret pleasure: "No."

"Then where did this blood come from?" Francis asked.

"From me." Annie's mouth curved higher and she watched them with interest, looking malicious. "The endometrial wall sheds and is excreted through the vaginal canal. Usually we call this menstruation."

Dr. Lu shook his hand and bandages and cloth fell to the ground, the word “stunned” clearly written across his face.

Annie's smile became more and more cheerful: "Please don't litter everywhere, pick it up and throw it into the trash can, thank you."

　　……

　　……

　　……

The search ended in failure, and the group of people who found nothing left Annie's house to discuss what to do next. While they were talkative, this discussion was really useless. Annie refused to participate in the next activity on the grounds of period cramps and went back to her room to rest.

Because of Mark and He Yi's disappearance, this group didn’t act separately, but searched the village together in a circle. Dr. Lu also muttered to Qi Leren. He felt that Annie had a problem, and Qi Leren asked him why.

Dr. Lu's expression was strange. After a long time, he said, "...Because I suddenly remembered that period blood shouldn’t coagulate."

“…………”

"Because there are many active enzymes in period blood, it prevents coagulation, so looking back, that should not be from menstruation."

Qi Leren felt that he had gained new knowledge, and the same was true of Du Yue's expression.

However, this was only Dr. Lu's guess. He himself said that he was talking about healthy menstruation. If the endometrial wall sheds off, there would be blood clots and so on. Qi Leren felt that he didn't want to know so much, but he couldn't control Dr. Lu's chattering mouth.

He hoped the audience wouldn’t misunderstand Dr. Lu because of his "knowledge".

After this was said, the few people continued to look for supplies and really found some that were hidden.

Dr. Lu, the EX luck guy, also found two small bags, one of which was given to the Qi Leren, who put a bottle of water and some compressed food in it just in case. Although the item bar meant that he didn’t lack materials at all, it was difficult for him to explain the origin of these things to the ubiquitous cameras. Du Yue, who wasn’t given one of these bags, honestly carried the heaviest backpack, which contained the three’s personal belongings. He worked hard and was stupid, Dr. Lu whispered in Qi Leren’s ears, and he felt that Du Yue was born with a lack of brain cells.

In the afternoon, several people went to visit Jing Siyu again. She was still unconscious, but her breathing was gentle, her heart was beating was normal, and there was no bump on her head. Generally speaking, there shouldn’t be any serious problem, but to be on the safe side she was left in Jing Sixue's house—although it violated the game’s rules of one person:one house, she didn’t care much under the circumstances.

Looking for someone like this was fruitless. The snow on the ground was trampled dirty, and it was slippery and easy to fall. The group of people simply cleaned up, took snow shovels that were unknowably old to clean up the snow in front of their houses, and made several paths leading to the central church that were convenient for walking.

At 8 o'clock in the evening, Qi Leren turned off the floating micro-camera that followed him and walked to Dr. Lu's house. Du Yue had come earlier than him and affectionately called out "qianbei" as soon as he saw him.

"Are the cameras off?" Qi Leren confirmed again.

"Off, but those fixed cameras outside can't be turned off. They’ll be able to tell that you came to me," Dr. Lu said.

"It doesn't matter, as long as our conversation isn’t recorded. After all, what we say will expose the difference between us and the NPCs," Qi Leren said. "What do you think happened today? Where did He Yi and Mark go? "

"I don't know, I also find it very strange," Du Yue said.

"They turned into butterflies and flew away," Dr. Lu said with a lack of seriousness, giving a small laugh.

"Seriously." Qi Leren stared at Dr. Lu and said, "Let's start from the beginning. By now the story has progressed to the point where the monster in Pandora's Box has escaped. I don't know where it’s hidden, what kind of form it has, and what’s special about it. Speaking of this, let's go to the church later. We’ve been working with the others today, so I haven't found a chance to check the stone in the church."

"It doesn't matter if you don't check it. The task prompt said that it had cracked, indicating that it hatched before we could move freely." Dr. Lu was well aware of the nature of this game, and that it wouldn’t give players the chance to stop the plot from starting.

"Say, with your years of experience in playing games, what kind of monster do you think it is?" Qi Leren asked.

Dr. Lu snorted and proudly said: "There are three possibilities. The first one is that the monster is a type of psychological agent, which will make people become mad, hallucinate, and finally make us kill each other. It’s quite common in Japanese games. The second possibility is that the monsters are physical attack types, and they will eat people. The more they eat, the more they need to eat, and then they’ll eat us up one by one. The third possibility is that this monster is parasitic, similar to the monsters in the Alien series. This routine is that it will constantly look for a host, and we still have to die."

Du Yue's handsome face wrinkled as if he had eaten something bitter and he looked hopefully at Qi Leren: "Qianbei, I don't want to die..."

Qi Leren's heart said: ...It's no use looking at me, I'm only a little better than you.

However, he had to keep a mentor-like expression on his face: "Don't worry, this task only has a C-level difficulty, it won't be too hard."

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[quillandink333]

Scarlet Carnations ~ Part I

BotW Link X Zelda ~ Detective AU

Rating: T

Word Count: 2.9k

WARNINGS: death, murder, loss, trauma, blood and gore, terrorism, organized crime, self-harm

Summary: Inspector Zelda Hyrule, assisted by the faithful Constable Link Fyori, is infamous for cracking the most confounding of cases in a town dominated by crime. Her latest assignment is to solve the murder of her own godmother, Impa Sheikah, the late CEO of Sheikah Tech. Incorporated, while staying under the radar of the dreaded Yiga organization.

Part I • Part II • Part III • Part IV • Part V • Part VI • Part VII • Epilogue • Masterlist

A deafening blast jolted me out of my slumber. I snapped upright.

As a member of law enforcement, I was painfully familiar with the sound of a gunshot, and that was exactly what I’d just heard.

I strained my ears with bated breath, trying to hear over my own thundering heartbeat.

Loud, frantic footsteps raced down creaky, wooden stairs. Then a terrified scream filled the halls of my childhood home.

I tore away the sheets and rushed to where the scream seemed to have come from. When I reached the parlour was when I stumbled upon the scene. There, right at the foot of my mother’s memorial, was my godmother’s cold, lifeless corpse. Kneeling beside her was her granddaughter, Paya, weeping into her open palms in shock.

Only a minute or two had passed since I’d awoken at the sound of gunfire. “Wait here,” I ordered, then made a break for the front entrance, the nearest and most instinctual escape route.

But when I threw the doors open, there wasn’t a soul to be found.

I returned to the parlour with my tail between my legs. Then my toe hit something heavy and metallic that clacked underfoot. When I looked down and saw what it was, I froze. With caution, I ever so slowly stepped away from the weapon.

“Great...” I muttered, seeing as now it would have my toe prints on it. But the longer I looked at it, I realized I’d seen this revolver somewhere before.

Then it hit me. It hit me like a two-ton train car.

I quickly made sure Paya’s head was turned. Then with terribly trembling hands, I did what I had to do and carefully tucked it away in my nightgown.

I’d feared the precinct wouldn’t allow me to participate in the investigation seeing as I’d been on the scene at the time of the crime. However, it seemed they trusted me enough to even appoint me as the lead investigator. Granted, I had done a lot to earn their trust over the past three years, but this was unheard of.

Nevertheless, I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth. The next morning, at seven o’clock sharp, I returned to the scene of the crime equipped with all the necessary tools of my trade.

I looked out the window of the cramped police buggy at our destination in utter astoundment. There were already droves of officers there, awaiting the arrival of me and my partner. The sight of the place I’d once called home being chained off and hidden from the public like this was jarring, to say the least. Of all the strange crime scenes I’d seen, this was the strangest. I never could’ve imagined I’d be returning here, not to eat Auntie Impa’s delicious pork buns or to hear Auntie Purah talk about her latest technological endeavours, but for work. How could I have?

“Zelda! Good—good morning!” greeted a rather skittish Paya when she opened the door for us.

“Good morning, Paya.”

She nearly lost her smile when she noticed Constable Fyori standing beside me. “Please, come in.” She stepped aside, and he and I entered into the low-ceilinged yet stately vestibule, removing our shoes and leaving them by the door. “Can I get either of you anything? Some tea, maybe?”

My assistant opened his mouth, but I raised a hand, silencing him. “Thank you, but that won’t be necessary. We have important business to take care of.”

“Oh, yes, of course! Silly me,” she chortled. “I’ll let you get to it, then.”

The first order of business was to examine the body. In most cases, a specialist would be needed to perform an autopsy, but unlike most inspectors, I had the forensic knowhow to take care of it myself. One might have said this was a side effect of my hobbies and my avid interest in all things related to science that I’d harboured since grade school. However, a full autopsy complete with the weighing of the body and the removal of the organs would come later. For now, it would suffice to determine two simple things: the time of death and the cause of death.

But before I could even get close to the body, I was stopped by my assistant, who grabbed me gently by the arm.

“You don’t have to do this,” he uttered in his typical, mousy tone. “I can call for someone else to come and take care of it for you.”

The look of real and profound concern seated deep in his aquamarine eyes pulled at my heartstrings. It had been a year, roughly, since he’d first begun working under me. He was always so worried for me, and I always felt terrible because of it. I unhooked his hand from my arm, putting on a warm smile. “I’ll be okay, Link.”

He looked at me as if to ask, “Are you sure?”

“Really, it’s fine. Don’t worry,” I insisted. “Thank you, though.” This finally got him to return my smile, albeit only briefly.

I already had a decent estimate of the time of death. The period we were looking at was between half ten at night, when the last person awake (which had just so happened to be me) had gone to bed, and three in the morning, when the gunshot had given me that rude awakening. Really I should have examined the body as soon as I’d discovered it. In most other cases I worked on, I even wished I’d been the first on the scene, before the stiff had yet to even go stiff. Of course, the one time I happened to be one of the first to discover a murder, it had to be like this.

And yet, until I knew who was responsible for this atrocity, grieving could wait.

Right off the bat, I could tell that this had been a homicide. This may have seemed obvious to someone like Paya, but as a detective, I’d had to forcefully train myself to assume nothing and question everything. Based on the characteristics of the hole running straight through her neck, however, I determined that the gun had been shot from too far a distance for it to have been suicidal. Auntie Impa’s arms simply weren’t long enough.

But for a death caused by hemorrhage from a severed jugular vein, there was a shockingly small amount of blood. The rush-woven mat beneath her was nearly spotless, and I knew from experience how difficult it was to get stains out of these mats. Even when I checked underneath the mat, there was still nothing. No blood, and no bullet.

With a final nod, I stood up and signalled the other officers to take the body away.

“Now, let’s see here...” I said to myself, scanning the area immediately surrounding the corpse before approaching my mother’s altar. But when I laid eyes on the damage it had sustained, I stumbled back.

Though she hadn’t been a follower of the same faith held by the Sheikahs, my mother’s memory had been enshrined here because, like myself, they’d been like a second family to her.

With all due caution, I picked up what remained of her photograph. The glass was shattered, and a bullet had completely erased her face.

If this wasn’t a sign of the Yiga organization, I didn’t have a clue what was. Who else would’ve borne such ill will toward Hilda Hyrule, the town’s beloved last mayor who’d been dead ever since the tragic “accident” at City Hall eighteen years prior? That massacre had been what had ushered in their age of power, and with no one left to stand in their way, they’d been terrorizing the city ever since.

Before I’d even had the chance to begin my analysis, I heard Paya’s timid footsteps shuffling up to me. “Zelda?” she whispered, obnoxiously tapping her finger on my shoulder. “Excuse me...”

I turned my head and forced a grin. “What is it?”

“Umh, I didn’t know he’d be accompanying you today.” I didn’t even have to follow her gaze to know who she was eyeing.

I suppressed a sigh. “Constable Fyori is my partner,” I reminded her politely. “I take him with me on all of my investigations.”

“Yes, I know, but...” Now her gaze was nervously flitting back and forth between me and Link. “I-I wasn’t prepared to see him again after so long. What if—what if he says something to me?”

“He won’t,” I huffed. “Now, if you don’t mind.”

“Oh my, I’m so sorry,” she fretted. “I’ll get out of your hair.” I gave her a nod of the head in thanks, and she kindly stepped back and out of my space. But even after that, I could still feel her intense stare from across the room. I let out the sigh I’d been holding in. Sure, Paya was irritating, and I was going on maybe four or five hours of sleep at most, but there was no excuse for me to be irrational, especially since it would get me nowhere in my line of thinking. What I wouldn’t have done for a nice, hot cup of chamomile at that moment.

Based on the extreme angle of the bullet’s trajectory, one could tell at a glance where the shooter had to have been positioned. They’d have been standing above the altar with very little space between the two—definitely not enough for an entire person. Therefore the bullet that had taken the victim’s life had to have been a different one. This was backed up by the absence of any blood around the hole or anywhere else on the shrine. So why had I only heard one gunshot that night? And where in the world was the bullet responsible for Auntie Impa’s death if not on the scene of the crime?

After photographing the hole and scribbling my thoughts and observations down in my notebook, I began the procedure of extracting the bullet from the altar. This was a delicate task, one that I admittedly had a hard time trusting anyone else in the force with. Once I’d succeeded in retrieving the bullet, I determined it was of the same calibre as the one that had passed through the victim’s throat, meaning it was likely that it had been fired from the same gun. Unfortunately, all these facts corresponded with the weapon I’d found on the scene mere hours ago, two chambers of which were empty. There may have been no prints left on the trigger, but even so, I simply didn’t have it in me to run a striation comparison.

Standing up straight and taking a quick, deep breath, I turned to my assistant, who seemed to be investigating the mantelpiece. “Right, then, Fyori.” He turned his head as I approached him. “Anything to report?”

“No, madam,” he replied solemnly, avoiding my gaze and peering straight ahead over the top of my head.

“Is that so...?” I tapped the end of my pen against my chin habitually. “We seem to have a dreadfully diligent killer on our hands.” I gave the room another once-over from where I stood beside him. “You’ve been thorough in your search as always, I presume?”

“Of course.”

“And you found nothing? Not even a fingerprint?”

“No, I’m afraid not.”

“Then let’s move on,” I sighed, turning toward the doorway leading out into one of the building’s many corridors. He followed, just a few paces behind me. “There’s something I’ve been wanting to check since we got here.”

“That’s strange...” muttered Auntie Purah as she jumped through the footage captured by the front entrance’s security camera. “Symin, did I miss something?”

The Sheikah estate’s security supervisor shook his head. “Not that I could see.”

“Let me check it again.”

But even when she rewound and skipped through it a second time, the only person to appear was still myself on my initial search for the killer. Link gave me a furtive glance. I smiled at him in reassurance.

“Perhaps the other cameras caught something,” I suggested. “It would make sense that the culprit wouldn’t want to simply waltz right in through the front door.”

Auntie Purah looked to Symin. “Well, there are three other cameras, but two of them are so far removed from the scene that I doubt they’d be of much help.”

“And the third?” I asked, reaching for my notebook and something to write with.

“That would be the courtyard camera.”

“Ah, perfect!” The courtyard was located at the very centre of the property and served as an intersection between the four main hallways. “That one’s bound to have caught something. Let’s see.”

But this, too, would turn out fruitless. Throughout the night, there wasn’t even the shadow of a clue as to the killer’s movements.

“This...” I gaped. “This is impossible.” I knew for a fact that this particular model of camera was designed for the very purpose of protecting its footage from being altered or obstructed. Could the killer have made themselves invisible somehow?

“I don’t believe it.” Auntie Purah shook her head creakily. “Our company takes great pride in the reliability of our security cameras!”

Enraged, the tiny, old lady tried to stand up from her seat. Then a loud crack resounded throughout the cramped surveillance office. She screamed.

“Miss Purah, please calm down,” urged the kindly Symin, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Are you alright?”

“Yes,” she seethed, adjusting her glasses. “Thank you.” I didn’t know the man as well as I did the rest of the family as he had become a part of it a few years after I’d left the nest. However, it seemed like he would make a fine successor to Auntie Impa’s role of keeping her elder sister’s enduring impulsivity in check.

“There’s no reason to worry, Auntie. This is no fault of yours or your company’s,” I said, hoping to ease her pain a little. She’d suffered a terrible loss, and it was taking a great toll on her. It was difficult to watch such a brilliant mind come undone because of something like this. But after hearing my words, she looked up at me with a wrinkly smile. “My partner and I will just have to do an even more thorough inspection of the property tomorrow.”

The ride back to the precinct wasn’t a pleasant one. By the end of the day, my own mind had deteriorated into a swirling whirlpool of confusion, resentment, and woe. The investigation so far had borne so little results, it was hard to imagine that tomorrow’s search would be that much more successful. Of course there was still so much more that needed to be looked into, but right now, I just couldn’t see this turning out well. I still hadn’t solved the mystery behind my mother’s death in eighteen long years. Why, in this case, would I prove to be any less of a failure?

I curled my fists against my legs, trying my hardest to forget about the empty feeling in my stomach. Despite this, I knew I didn’t have the energy to do much more rational thinking today, if any at all.

Then my colleague broke the silence. “She was important to you, wasn’t she?” he asked, but such a personal question was strangely out of character for him.

“Yes.” I smiled sorrowfully into my lap. “I never really thought of her as a mother figure,” I admitted, “but she did put a lot of time and effort into raising me, in my actual mother’s stead.”

“She must’ve been a wonderful person.”

This made me laugh, to both his and my surprise. “Well, she would often scold me and Paya with the strictest attitude you can imagine, but I suppose she always had our best interests at heart.”

The longer I thought about Auntie Impa, the more I mulled over who could possibly have wanted her dead. She had already been getting on in age. Had the perpetrator’s need to kill her really been that dire? The only time people ever went that far was when their victim’s life would’ve put them in danger somehow if they’d have allowed them to go on living. But then again, there was the Yiga organization. They went around committing murders a couple times every week for seemingly no reason other than to flaunt their power. Perhaps Auntie Impa really had been just another one of their prey. Even so, I couldn’t shake the suspicion that there was more to it than that.

“Don’t you think it’s strange?”

The constable cocked his head, but kept his eyes on the road.

But then I stopped myself. There was still no proof of the Yiga’s involvement, so there was no point in bringing it up now. “Well, all of it is quite strange, frankly,” I amended. “The lack of blood, the missing bullet...”

“Could the killer have moved the body from somewhere else, perhaps?” he tentatively suggested.

“Very good, Link. That’s exactly what I’ve been theorizing.” The tips of his ears flushed, and he seemed to shrink back into his seat a little. “Oh, but then...wouldn’t that make it more likely for the cameras to have caught something?”

“That is true,” he concurred. “And there’s still been no sign of the murder weapon?”

I swallowed hard. “No...” My eyes flickered down toward my briefcase. “None.”

[save-the-spiral]

PLS PLS LIST THE SWAPS!! TELL ME ABOUT THE SIBLINGS AND ALSO HIFUMI BECAUSE I LOVE HIM (IF YOU WANT!) I will also send more questions in the morning too, excited to see what you’ve been working on!!

OK OK OK !!!!! AHH! So, before assigning talents, I swapped the pools, so for the first game, I use the talents from the second game, and vis versa! For some i listed gender, sexuality, or neurodivergencies, though this isn’t all of them, and I haven’t developed them all to the same level!

This is SO long. I didn’t even bother mentioning things like my plans for the killing games. (I have DR1 planned out in full, but only parts of DR2 and the v3 anime)

THANK YOU FOR THE ASK MY HEART SKIPPED A BEAT IN HAPPINESS WHEN I SAW I HAD NEW ASK NOTIFS!!

LIST:

Trigger Happy Havoc (first game)

Kyoko Kirigiri- Ultimate Luckster- Mastermind (: Sometimes lesbians can be evil okay! was trained as a detective like everyone in her family and didn’t get the ultimate :) she’s definitely not mad about that :) her luck cycle depends on how far she plans things ahead. her good luck is when she’s spontaneous! She hates when ‘normal’ people are accepted by ultimates.

Makoto Naegi- Photographer (Mostly wildlife and nature photography, with Sayaka helping him for some animal photography (: trans and bi <3 One of sayaka’s birds nests in his hair like all the time)

Kiyotaka Ishimaru- Ultimate Swordsman (AUTISTIC ICON, has trained in kendo since he was a kid, then was essentially given away to the Fujisaki clan by his very stressed dad. Semiverbal, rarely speaks.)

Chihiro Fujisaki- Ultimate Yakuza (Taka is her bodyguard! His family is in debt to hers, the Fujisaki clan is the most powerful in Japan. trans icon, of course, dates Sayaka! Very direct, though she’s far more delicate and polite when talking to taka, her best friend)

Sakura Oogami- Ultimate Nurse (Works as an EMT- her clan still is in martial arts, so she’s still very buff, she assists in injuries at the family dojo. Autistic Icon)

Asahina Aoi- Ultimate Gamer (ULTIMATE ADHD. streams and has a ton of fun, will ramble while breaking records, demigirl who loves her girlfriend sakura :)

Mukuro Ikusaba- Ultimate Chef (Works best with ‘cheap’ food, and making them taste good. a byproduct of growing up on the streets with junko, and junko being bored of the same old food they dug out of the trash. now works closely with junko for her teams’ nutritional needs! autistic and sapphic.)

Junko Enoshima- Ultimate Team Manager (there are SO many sports she can never get bored, and the professional scene is always changing! prefers coaching womens’ teams, because being an ultimate brings them more publicity and usually higher pay :)

Mondo Oowada- Ultimate Prince (OH MY BOY. trans adhd icon. now the crown prince of Novoselic, with a reagent in his place until he comes of age. His service dog Chuck is a maltese and an absolute sweetheart. Chihiro takes him under her wing to teach leadership. also dates taka later OF COURSE, though they’re poly and I may add more ppl to their relationship later.)

Celestia Ludenburg- Ultimate Musician (specializes in violin, most strings, though she can play any instrument. grew up poor, dedicated herself to an instrument and persona to cope)

Byakuya Togami- Ultimate Musician (Yep. two musicians. two catty trans gay icons about to throw down. they HATE each other and grew up as rivals. specialize in classical, they literally tore a professional orchestra full of grown adults apart trying to make them side with who was the best musician. they’re so good that they’re matched, and Hope’s Peak accepts them as one student and combined ultimate. they room together. they fight. Literally if one of them gets expelled, the other does too, so they’re STUCK. eventually they become literally inseparable and insufferable together like the WORST siblings. I love them.)

Sayaka Maizono- Breeder (animal handler) (Specializes in birds!!!!!! has songbirds on her shoulders all the time. will give unsettling animal facts without realizing they’re unsettling. sends her songbirds to serenade chihiro when they start dating <3)

Yasuhiro Hagakure- Gymnast (you see this tall goof who acts like an older brother to everyone and wonder HOW he’s a gymnast. he’s completely different in competitions, though still lighthearted. becomes a big brother figure to mukuro and junko especially <3 also trans bc i say so.)

Leon Kuwata- Traditional Dancer (he just. kinda hates it. it takes SO much work and effort but he takes to it naturally. his cousin kanon is NOT like in canon, instead she’s helpful. he’d literally rather be doing anything else. doesn’t know how to do anything like... basic either. can’t cook. cant do his own laundry. everything was dedicated to traditional japanese dancing before he attended HPA.)

Toko Fukawa- Engineer (writes schematics and is very good at it. gets VERY upset when her plans go wrong. her notes are orderly and perfect. host for their system!)

Syo- Mechanic (a factive of genocider syo, NOT an actual killer. she’s a protector mainly, and also is more adept at hands on skills when it comes to fixing things, her hands are less shaky. Her notes are a disaster and she does it to spite Toko.)

Hifumi Yamada- (???) (reserve course) Protagonist! My BOY. HIFUMI IS GOOD OKAY. He’s autistic and loves anime and gaming! he’s not particularly ultimate-leveled at them, or anything else! Attending Hope’s Peak as a reserve course student! At one point he joins the student council as a reserve course representative even if he’s only a freshman :) He’s also a moderator in Hina’s livestream chat, under the username of JusticeHammer, fastest ban hammer this side of the internet. He's internet friends with hina and sakura, and doesn’t realize Oh We Go To the same SCHOOL until he bumps into them. and realizes hina doesnt know what he looks like. but sakura does. its hilarious. he’s aroace, and during the year they’re locked in HPA, is in a queer platonic partnership with Hina and Sakura, while they’re dating each other. it’s great.)

Goodbye Despair! (second game)

Peko Pekoyama- Lucky student (ohohoh. her luck relies on her conviction. if she has doubts her bad luck strikes HARD. trans!, was taken in by Fuyuhiko’s family when she was a baby, grew up as just another kid in the family. They all expected Fuyu to go off to HPA on his own and then BOOM acceptance letter)

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu- Programmer (He. gets so angry while coding. He has an array of rubber ducks to talk to and work through his coding issues with. trans of course. Very protective of Peko when people say she doesn’t have a ‘real’ ultimate. ADHD and Autistic)

Sonia Nevermind- Writer (Literary Girl) (Her family immigrated to Japan when she was young! She writes a lot of serial killer novels, murder mysteries and horror and all that! Trans and bi :)

Gundham Tanaka- Detective (YEAH my guy is a detective. still talks Like That. Trans and bi and he and Sonia were kinda-dating (t4t autistic power couple in the making) when things started happening. He spends some time with his cool older sister who he looks up to a LOT. He and Sonia talk through things together a lot, they both have those red string walls, one for murder cases, another for a fictional plot lmao.)

Mahiru Koizumi- Moral Compass (my GIRL. autistic. Her morals rely a lot on people taking responsibility and being reliable, and she ends up having to work through some biases she didn’t realize she had when she arrived at HPA. Is still protective of Hiyoko, though that protectiveness is spread a bit thinner to extend to the rest of the class.)

Hiyoko Saionji- Clairvoyant!!! (HI YES I COULD TALK ABOUT HER FOR DAYS. Has actual visions in dreams and when she suddenly faints, but doesn’t really realize they’re uhh Real Visions for a WHILE. uses her status as an ultimate clairvoyant to trick and bully kids when in school for a LONG time, though her homelife wasn’t great with her grandmother trying to find ways to make her visions more consistent. SHES ALSO 12 WHEN SHE JOINS THE 77TH CLASS. she’s just so advanced in academics and her ultimate is so interesting hope’s peak cant HELP but scout her early. she has SO many issues guys no one appreciates hiyoko enough, autistic gifted kid hiyoko my beloved.)

Akane Owari- Gambler (started gambling to help out her family and Got Good at it. is very very conscious of money and food like all the time. Runs the hope’s peak betting pools once she arrives. these ultimates bet on a lot of things. she ALWAYS wins. until she doesnt!!!)

Mikan Tsumiki- Martial Artist (ohhhh Mikan. Still anxious and clumsy (though not like THAT in canon) and literally no one looks at her and thinks Oh The ULTIMATE martial artist?? it isn’t until you see her in the ring that you understand. She started learning self defense as a kid because her (bad) parents essentially said she had to rely on and protect herself and no one else would help.)

Kazuichi Souda- Pop Idol (OH TRANS ICON? he’s nervous and paranoid about Everything still, though now it’s like. oh the entire world is always watching my every move this is Okay (: has the brightest neon album eras. he literally keeps up a like. weird chad persona when interacting with people because he’s masking how hard he’s constantly just internally screaming.)

Nagito Komaeda- Soldier (AHAHAH my mans got issues problems disorder he’s a messssss, this trans guy, this absolute gay. this boy leveled a city of thousands of people with his own hands and some bombs. Still has medical issues, but most of his like. treatments and medicine is hold hostage as long as he stays in line. believes the ends justify the means and anyone who dies to him is obviously weak, because look at him! he’s weak, but that doesn’t matter because he doesn’t have to be the strongest, he just has to be stronger than the weakest scum.)

Chiaki Nanami- Heir (OOF. Agender, uses any pronouns. Doesn’t really. enjoy being the heir. grew up with Byakuya in the same circles. she treats the economy and stock market and stuff like games. enjoys gaming but isn’t good at them. collects so many things. has halls full of collections. Her parents stopped controlling her once she was able to prove she had more money than them and could literally bankrupt them if she wanted.)

Hajime Hinata- Baseball Star (Chiaki’s best friend, his family was upper middle class until he hit it BIG as a baseball star. wants to do BIG things and wants to attend hope’s peak more than anything!! Doesn’t really think of baseball as his THING, just a means to an end! trans :)

Teruteru Hanamura- Biker Gang Leader (started with shaking down some jerks who didn’t pay their food and drink tabs at his mama’s restaurant. now he RUNS their tiny town. His siblings are essentially gang mascots, he works hard to keep them out of trouble (while bringing them to like. meetings where he ends up beating a dude almost to death. its fine). most of what he does it to get more money to keep the restaurant afloat and care for his mama with her health conditions.)

Nekomaru Nidai- Fashionista (the drama. the CHAOS. most people are like ohhh we can never understand this artistic genius when he’s literally just. vibing and has ADHD and a love for coffee. Works a lot on accessible clothing lines for disabled people! Also he and Kazuichi work together sometimes, Nekomaru is good at calming Kaz down and seeing like, the root of whatever problem and making it better. ALSO A TRANS ICON and just flaunts it.)

Imposter- In the hope’s peak days they are impersonating Ryota Mitarai, as a part of the 77th class. In the Killing Game they impersonate Mondo Oowada as the Ultimate Prince. They’re doin’ their best.

Ibuki Mioda- (???) (Izuru Kamakura) Protagonist! Gundham Tanaka’s older sister (though they’re in the same school year). Nonbinary and using just. an array of pronouns alongside she/her, and jokingly fights with gundham for neopronouns like MOM said it’s MY TURN on the rawrself pronouns. She attends the reserve course to stay at her brother’s side. She dresses loudly and acts even louder because !!! she wants to stand out!! in the middle of this drab reserve course hell!!  but when things go down, she wants to be someone, to be worthy of being her amazing brother’s big sister. so she accepts some offers.

NON-KILLING GAME:

Ryota Mitarai- Ultimate Analyst (stays in his room. He’s terrified of the outside world but fascinated by it. watches hope’s peak academy through security feeds, picking up on little details. he just wants to understand things but never looks at the big picture.)

Chisa Yukizome- Ultimate Boxer (Homeroom teacher!! She’s working really hard and believes in everyone! Some are intimidated by talent, but she’s never hurt anyone outside of the ring! Dating Kyosuke)

Juzo Sakakura- Ultimate Student Council President (Has anger issues, though his work at reigning them in assisted in becoming an Ultimate. Was responsible for security and the Hope’s Peak student council. Dating Kyosuke)

Kyosuke Munakata- Ultimate Housekeeper (Meticulous, works himself to the BONE even if he’s good enough to not have to do that. Is working on establishing another Hope’s Peak! Dating Chisa and Jozu!!!)

Seiko Kimura- Ultimate Blacksmith (GIVE MY GIRL KNIVES!! She’s an anxious gal, always wearing a facemask that filters the air in her forge because she has some respiratory problems. she prefers making more decorative pieces like an artist, but sometimes can create utilitarian pieces or tools to fit specific needs. Still a doormat)

Ruruka Ando- Ultimate Pharmacist (She constantly asks Seiko for new tools for her developments in medicine, saying its all for the advancement of humanity, so Seiko denying any request is SELFISH, though she never thinks to make anything for seiko’s health issues. Dating Izayoi. Specializes in medicine for mental health. Not Doing Great :)

Sonosuke Izayoi- Ultimate Confectioner (He loves sweets. LOVES them. Creates things that look plain, ordinary. but taste so GOOD you CRY and maybe ascend for a little bit. sometimes Ando makes cool new drugs to put in the sweets, who knows! It’s a mystery! He always has like. a huge refrigerated case of fresh cakes, and constantly has a lollipop in his own specialty recipe in his mouth.)

[hazzabeeforlou]

Walls Masterpost

It’s the 28th of pride month, and fitting to post this now. The soul of Walls is the unabashed, fierce, tender, and brave love of a man who has shown for years that he is proud. This album isn’t a cohesive story line, nor do I think it’s even the album Louis envisioned himself putting out. He only flirts with true indie music like that of his idols; Always You is a pop masterpiece, TOU is a ballad, and Perfect Now a love song in the style of Little Things. The album is a collection of letters each addressed to a singular recipient, personal, self-searching, blunt, too vulnerable to be easy listening (if you really listen). Walls shows us the scope of Louis’ capacity for love. It’s the culmination of years of pain, heartbreak, and hope, written with the raw honestly of an archeologist stumbling upon his own personal memoirs. 

Please feel free to ask questions if any of the technical stuff is confusing, and remember these are my interpretations as a classically trained musician. I will use the name “Subject” for the implied “you” in each of Louis’ songs. 

Kill My Mind: in F minor. The verses are i VII IV, the tiny bridge IV III I (?), and the chorus is VII IV I, repeat. 

There are two oddities about this. First, in a natural minor key, the forth chord is minor (iv) but Louis keeps this B flat chord in major, changing the D flat to a D natural. Secondly, in the chorus, Louis changes from using a minor one chord to a major one. He raises the A flat to an A natural as he sings “Raise my body [A natural here] back to life.” This bit of text painting not only illustrates his words, but lends the song an off kilter feel, confusing the key signature between F minor and B flat Major (which has an A and D natural). 

Kill My Mind is Louis’ only ‘drugs’ song on the album, and I say that both because the metaphor is obvious and because he uses that obvious metaphor to compare addiction to a relationship. It reminds me, lyrically, of Back To You, and, like that song, could easily be interpreted as about a controlling force in his life on whom he’s become dependent, or a lover. 

Don’t Let It Break Your Heart: this is easily in the key of B flat Major. The verses are I IV vi 6/4 V 6/4, the bridge vi vi V IV vi V, the chorus same as the verses, I IV vi 6/4 V 6/4. 

This is Louis’ most hopeful track, and is so clearly about grief. Much has been made of the first line “on our way to twenty seven” being a reference to the 27 Club, a cultural phenomenon of icons/musicians/artists that die at that age due to fame/high risk lifestyle, but Louis then says they’re “doing better,” implying that both he and Subject are in this category. The rest of the song is him counseling and comforting Subject, empathizing with the hurt of loss, encouraging Subject, “Don’t let it kill you even when it hurts like hell.” He knows this pain, knows it deep, and knows that it takes time to heal. 

Two Of Us: IV I V iv V IV I V vi V. This progression is the same for both verses and chorus. The bridge is a bit hard to decipher as it moves in 3rds and not triads, something like IV V vi V vi V. 

Not much needs to be said about this song. It’s Louis’ beautiful ode to his mom, and he sings it with incredible vulnerability and heart. 

We Made It: this is the revolving door song. One progression is used, IV I V iii, and repeats from start to finish. It keeps reminding me of Coldplay. 

What’s interesting is that each chord functions as the subdominant or leading chord of the next, basically spinning us ever forwards so we never stop on a tonic home base. The E flat IV chord leads to the B flat I, the B flat I then functions as a IV chord to the V chord (F Major), then the D minor III chord functions as a major VII leading to a I of E flat (the beginning IV chord we started with in B flat Major) and the cycle repeats. 

Louis leaked part of this song several years ago, and a line about moonlight replaced the “met you at your uni” section, interestingly. “Playing something pop’y on the same four chords, used to worry bout it but I don’t no more.” Young love. He remembers how it tasted. Subject was high on what? Adrenaline? Orgasm? It’s a tender reminiscence with a hint of tragedy, “don’t know why they put this all on us when were so young.”  

Too Young: in E Major, the verses and chorus are IV I V vi (the vi is omitted at the cadences), the bridge is vi I V IV I V. 

Louis is once again looking back, regretful. Louis doesn’t speak in metaphors, the lyrics are to the point and precise. He’s hurt Subject, he’s given in to pressures, he’s cut subject off... the “2 years since I’ve seen your face” of course doesn’t fit the chronology of the album, but rather of his public life, as does the previous song’s line of “met you at your uni.” It’s interesting, then, that while Louis takes the blame for so much, he still says ‘we were too young’ and not ‘I was too young,’ implying that Subject was at least partly to blame for the hurt too, if only by fault of immaturity. 

Walls: This is in B Major. The chord progression for verses is

 vi I vi I, V [V7 with the melody note on the E natural] IV V V7 II IV i6 (passing chord)

chorus, IV I V I6, IV I V III6 vi V II6 Vi ii I (IV I passing chords) 

bridge, IV vi V, IV vi V, Vi vi III6 vi V II (this holds over til chorus) 

This is Louis’ tour de force. Walls is as complex as it is beautiful. His use of Major II chords, altered from a normal ii chord in Major key signatures, and his use of a Major III chord (which, again, is minor in Major key signatures) adds an unconventional twist. The opening and closing lyrics, “nothing wakes you up like waking up alone,” are set against a sparse vi I; but you see the vi chord doesn’t normally go to I, usually ii, IV, and V have that role, so by using a vi to I Louis is showing us the tonic alone, nothing ‘surrounding’ it. This song is so complex and layered, and I would argue it’s the one song besides OTB that is ripe for poetic interpretation; on first glance the lyrics seem so obvious, but there’s the music video to consider, the metaphor of him being left alone, high on a wall that has not fallen down, a blank name tag on his chest. The door opening to a desert on one side and a bullseye masquerade on the other has no happy implications, yet Louis has become a man through it all, he says, and he has no regrets about letting his walls crumble for love, damn the consequences he’s suffered. 

Habit: in G Major, the verses are I ii IV I, the bridge vi V IV I vi V IV ii7, the chorus I ii IV (vi V added when leading to next verse). Interestingly, in the verse that says “come so far from Princess Park,” the repeated line “in front of me, in front of me” adds two chords to the verse, between the IV and I, a vi and V. 

Like in too young, this is an apology, and Louis lays out his sins plainly. And while it’s unequivocal, we can see the extenuating circumstances: “took some time ‘cause I ran out of energy playing someone I heard I’m supposed to be.” There is no more damning line of lyrics. Louis has been exhausted holding some line, an invisible current through his music that he never truly addresses, yet always its there, a background character, a force of cruel divinity. “Don’t know why they put this all on us when were so young.” “I’m too far gone to pray.” 

Always You: This song could conquer radio in half a heartbeat, given a chance. It’s in E Major, verses are I vi IV, chorus is I vi IV, the same. 

This is world tour of missing Subject, this is Miss You but rephrased, reworked, gone from punk to pop princess. We have Amsterdam, Tokyo, LAX, Heathrow, which speak for themselves. “My baby,” Louis quotes over and over. He’s been “chasing a high,” and I’m reminded of the high in We Made It, “baby you were still high.” Orgasm? Adrenaline? Love? 

Fearless: A minor. Verses, i VII VI (added VI VII when leading back to verse), bridge is i V VI (III VII passing chords can be heard) i V VI VII

Now the very short chorus (”fearless, fearless,”) is, if we stick to A minor, III, III4/2, i, VI. I think, however, that at this point the piece modulates, going from A minor to C Major, (A minor is the relative minor of C Major, which means that the two keys share a key signature and can go into and out of each other easily) making the progressions I I4/2 (4/2 is an inversion of a 7th chord) vi IV. Now to add complexity on top of that, having a I7 chord is incredibly unusual, so I wouldn’t label it that, I would label it a V4/2 of IV, meaning that C7 chord functions as a cadential chord leading to F, or the IV chord, of C Major. This is all rather complicated, but knowing how it was constructed shows the song’s complexity. The final “fearless, fearless” progression then is: I, V4/2 of IV, vi, VI. 

In this song I believe Louis’ Subject is himself. it’s a song about fame and anxiety and the lost innocence (and gutsiness) of youth. It’s a brutal song that I doubt Louis would write to anyone besides himself given how he focuses solely on his own faults and doesn’t lay anything at the feet of his other Subjects. The laughing children heard fist and last are a cutting effect. 

Perfect Now: D Major. Verses, I I7 [again this is technically a V7 of IV, and functions as that since it leads to IV] IV6/4 iv6/4

bridge, iii vi ii vi

chorus, IV V I IV V I, IV V I IV I

second bridge, V vi IV I, V vi IV vi (then to chorus) 

This is a strange little song, perhaps its most unusual quirk being the switch from a Major IV chord to a minor iv chord in the verse. The Subject in this song loves to dance, and I’m reminded of KMM. Subject isn’t just not feeling pretty, they’re depressed, they are reticent to be looked upon (”don’t hide away”) they are a crown-less queen, and tears are the norm. Subject has a platform - everyone is looking at them - and is a scene stealer, charismatic without trying. I’ve attempted and failed to understand this song in any way other than that Subject is dealing with dysphoria, and that this is Louis’ ode to their perfection, an affirmation of an identity that perhaps can only be realized in private. It is in this interpretation that the Major to minor flip of the 4 chord makes me absolutely crumble into pieces. 

Defenceless: C flat Major (a most unusual key for a pop song). Verses are I V6 vi IV, bridge IV vi I V, chorus is IV vi I V (the falsetto second bridge is the same) 

Defenceless is Louis at his most honest. Who writes these lyrics in a pop song? “You don’t have to keep on being strong for me and you,” “just want to be loved by you,” “you don’t have a thing to prove,” “I’m too tired to be tough,” “Wish I didn’t need so much of you.” A moth to a flame is different from a moth to a light; immolation is a theme in love stories. This is too honest for a love song, and it feels intrusive just to listen. Louis has a deep love for Subject, an abiding care and need for them. 

Only The Brave: E flat Major. Verse, I (IV I) IV I, I (IV I) IV I

Chorus is vi V IV I [ii iii IV V OR IV V IV V, I can’t determine because of the movement in 3rds] I 

This song. I can only compare it to when I used to cry when I’d see speeches about gay love; I never understood why, but I just knew, in my heart, before my brain had figured it out yet, that I was the same. This song is that. It is so intrinsically gay, the metaphors are woven in every word, every nuance. Burn history, break rules, cry like a fool, close enough to touch... the church of burnt romances. “I’m too far gone to pray.” Love is only for the brave. Of course it takes a great deal of bravery to love anything completely, to face the prospect of loss knowing how that love will rip you apart. And in the end, some might say from the cradle to the grave you are ultimately alone. Yet Louis knows better than any that those you love are always with you, “even when I’m on my own, I know I won’t be alone.” I believe this song is Louis’ concluding thesis to an album filled to the brim with anecdotes of his own love, a gift to us speaking of the commonality he shares with the wider community, a history of brave love, of loneliness, of too many dying stars in the sky. The tall tales, only hello hello, no goodbye; we don’t focus on the goodbyes. We tell our stories with happy endings, but love, sometimes it doesn’t have those, for some of us it’s a solo song. 

Louis Tomlinson, I’m sure there’s not a chance in a million you’ll ever read this but, if you do, I see you, we see you. You are so loved. Thank you for this album, thank you for giving us this gift of love. Continue your artistic journey and follow your heart. We’ll be here, because for us, it’s Always You. 

[khalayak]

music, trauma and time

so much has been written about evangelion’s visual motif, but barely enough about its soundscape. i mean, sure, we know about the silence in that elevator scene and the irreverent use of classical music (will you ever hear handel’s messiah the same again?), and still there’s so much more to talk about.

consider this a tasting platter:

the series lies on a bed of keening cicadas (insect buffs, eva likes minminzemis and kumazemi). repetition in music psychology is shorthand for anxiety, tension, monotony. it’s linked to the freudian death drive, the loss of ego and is also a nod to the lacanian real (meaning, the world divorced from distorting perception and symbolism, the reality that won’t change according to how we wish things to be). this is played straight: cicadas scream through mundane scenes and the dull wait between battles, signaling the here and now. in ep1, the cicadas stop just before shinji sees a vision of rei to underline his departure from the real. the next time we hear them is in ep2, when shinji waits at the hospital hallway as rei is wheeled past. this time they continue to shriek, because it’s real. cicadas are altogether absent in shinji’s utopia in ep26.

misato, who can live wherever the fuck she wants in tokyo-3, picks a near-abandoned apartment building right by a noisy train crossing that sounds much like a siren. this underscores her need to be constantly on alert, on survival mode. this is how trauma works, the second impact has reconfigured her way of existing, where survival has become her one and only reason to live to the detriment of any other way of being

overhead announcements form the architecture of shinji and misato’s early relationship, where shinji expects to be instructed and misato expects to be obeyed even as both yearn for a deeper connection. the intercom chatters through nearly all of their first scenes together, even replacing the conversation when misato picks him up from the hospital in ep2. remember, shinji runs away the first time when misato demands him to want what she wants, a breach of this unspoken pact (insert hedgehog dilemma). in ep4, misato’s world is rendered near silent (save the above siren) while shinji is hounded by blaring train announcements, salesmen, screams from the cinema. misato must face her solitude while shinji struggles with a deluge of directives. once reunited, they both adopt an intercom-like speech before misato snaps, again crossing the line. shinji runs away again. the final piece is so obvious. at the end of ep4, listen.

in ep15, shinji performs bach’s g major prelude, which also happens to be the most overplayed cello piece ever. it’s a simple piece yet, true to bach, carries this theme of creation ➝ fall ➝ redemption. it starts by setting the key, then introduces the tension that drags the piece to explore other keys, releases to the improvisation part, then returns to g major all glorious, made better for its journey. it’s not hard to see how this also functions as a metaphor for growth, i.e. childhood ➝ adolescence ➝ adulthood. that shinji plays only a fraction of it, and only the part that sets the key, is most likely due to time constraints (y’all wanna watch an anime, not a cello solo) but there’s something poetic in seeing this as a symbol for the many “failures to launch” in the ep, from shinji vis a vis gendo/yui to asuka’s stubborn obsession with kaji to misato, who says it herself: “i joined NERV to put all that behind me but there was also where my father worked.” each of them makes their failed bids to break free of old patterns only to return to their habitual ways of being, just like shinji with his made-up ending to bach’s actually awesome piece

in death, asuka’s violin solo is the gavotte en rondeau from bach’s partita 3 in e major. this is interesting cause the gavotte is a musical form that starts in the middle of the bar (say, the tempo’s 4/4, meaning there are four beats in each bar, the song starts on the 3rd instead of the 1st, like so). this is meant to create an upbeat tone and also true to asuka’s in medias res entrance. as with shinji, she doesn’t complete this piece

anno didn’t come up with komm susser tod. that was bach using a text by (now) anonymous author. while the eva’s version has become the theme song of our “life sucks just lemme die” gen, the original is more about a longing for heaven’s reward after life’s toils. it’s since been set to many variations. here’s my fave version as set by knut nystedt, true to the idea that music is the most temporal of the arts, as someone once said to me: “a chord is a glimpse into eternity”

there’s little point juxtaposing the lyrics of ode to joy to evangelion when it’s the context that matters. the finale to beethoven’s symphony 9 is a holiday song inextricable from war, which 10,000-strong japanese choirs sing to mark the new year’s by memorizing how the lyrics sound and not necessarily its meaning. it was the anthem of japanese nationalism in ww2 as its technical difficulty signaled their superiority over the rest of asia and their alignment with axis germany. it’s since been co-opted as a message of unity and brotherhood, but it can never shed its wartime burden. no doubt many japanese would still see in it a great deal of nationalistic pride (anno himself included)

trivia: technically most of the “classical” music in evangelion isn’t even classical but baroque (bach, pachelbel, handel). fittingly complex and polyphonic

notice any other examples? let me know. and please, actual musicologists out there, enlighten us.

[crystalstar8]

Knights of the Night (ch 8)

Chapter 8aseball

Ch 1, ch 2, ch 3, ch 4, ch 5, ch 6, ch 7, ch 8

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29139240/chapters/71536491

pairing: Jungkook x oc

genre: vampire au, college au, twilight, romance

word count: 2,668

warnings: blood (obviously), kidnapping, child kidnapping, needles, France

notes: vampires, vampire au, college, college au, so many twilight references, blood, needles, kidnapping, children, homelessness, dance, ballet, flashbacks, romance, slow burn, probably no smut, idk yet tho, France, French things, attempted genocide, inaccurate French history, bisexual main character, @strawberriewithchocolate-blog @mozy-j  @daechwitad-2​ @zobadak​​

summary: Catalina starts college in a small town all the way across the country. She doesn’t know anyone and isn’t exactly looking for friends. She just wants to focus on dance. But when she meets fellow dance major, Jimin, and adventurous, fellow freshman, Jungkook, Catalina ends up discovering a whole new side to the small college town; one that is dangerous but oh so enticing…

               Catalina was no longer running, but she had yet to catch her breath. The room she was in was cement, and Jungkook lay in front of her. She tried to reach out to him, but as soon as she tried to move, her veins erupted into fiery pain. Her whole body seized, but just as fast as it came, the pain left, letting Catalina collapse to her knees. She crawled over to Jungkook and rolled him over onto his back. The wound on his head was scary.

               “Kookie,” she whispered, trying to shake him awake. “Kookie, we have to get out of here. They’ll come back any second.”

               Jungkook spoke without opening his eyes. He said, “When you become one of them, will you eat me too?”

               The pain came back at full force, but didn’t last long as Catalina woke up in a cold sweat.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

               “So, you’re telling me that they’re actual real-life vampires,” Jimin said from the backseat of Jungkook’s car.

               “That’s right,” said Catalina.

               “That explains all that rotting food in the fridge,” said Jungkook. Catalina huffed as he cracked up.

               “Yeah, never mind the fridge full of blood bags,” said Catalina.

               “So, they’re real vampires,” said Jimin. “They could kill us if they wanted to, and we’re still hanging out with them?”

               “I mean, anyone could kill anyone if they wanted to,” said Jungkook. He took a turn down a dirt road into the forest.

               “They could do it so easily though!” said Jimin.

               “They won’t,” said Catalina. “I really think they won’t hurt us.”

               “Well, we’re playing baseball with them whether you like it or not,” said Jungkook. “God, I haven’t played baseball since I was seven years old, on that stupid little leagues team. Oh my god, I’m so excited.”

               Catalina looked over at him with an eyebrow raised. He was practically vibrating in his seat. It was his idea in the first place. As soon as Catalina told him about her discovery, he asked when they’d get to play baseball with the vampires, vis a vis Twilight. To “reenact the greatest scene in cinematic history”. Catalina was just looking forward to spending more time with the four of them. She found them fascinating and there were so many questions she wanted to ask.

               She snapped out of those thoughts as Jungkook took a side road. They ended up parking at the edge of a field. The sky was grey and thunder was rumbling. It was perfect weather for baseball. Jungkook seemed to think so too, since he was staring at the sky with a big smile on his face as he got out of the car.

               There were two other cars parked in the field, a black BMW and a pink Jeep Wrangler with two yellow smiley faces on the roof. Jin and Jimmy K got out of the BMW as soon as Jungkook parked. Taehyung, Hoseok and Namjoon were already standing in the field, Taehyung practicing his swing. Yoongi was sitting next to the Jeep in a lawn chair, sipping wine from a glass. Catalina got of the car. She’s never played baseball before, so this should be interesting.                Taehyung waved at them and ran over.

               “You made it!” he said. “I’ve never played baseball before, but I did some research the last few days.”

               “Meaning, he just watched some videos of ancient baseball games,” said Hoseok.

               “There’s always a guy with the bat, and he has to hit the ball. And there’s the person who throws the ball,” Taehyung explained.

               “I think everyone here knows how to play baseball, Tae Tae,” said Jimin.

               “Jiminie! I’ve missed you!” Taehyung swept Jimin up in a hug. Catalina laughed but wished Taehyung hadn’t been interrupted. She really didn’t know how to play.

               “I think I should just watch for a while,” she said. “I’ve never really played before.”

               Jin sidled up to Jungkook and Catalina and whispered, “You said these guys were vampires?”

               They nodded. Jin eyed the vampires on the field, then nodded, “Yeah that checks out. Normal people don’t look that good. Except for me, obviously.”

               Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Yoongi pulling open another lawn chair. She happily took the opportunity to skip over to him and sit down. The rest of the boys got set up on the field. Catalina wondered who the Jeep belonged to.

               Being near Yoongi was different. He didn’t say or do anything, keeping his eyes on the field and sipping from his glass, but Catalina felt a dull aura of danger around him. She didn’t necessarily think he’d hurt her, but being around him wasn’t the same as being around the other vampires. There was definitely something different about him.

               “Would you like a glass of wine?” Yoongi asked, startling Catalina out of her thoughts.

               “No thank you,” she said. They both turned their attention to the field as the game began.

               Jungkook was batting first, Hoseok taking his place in the center of the makeshift diamond as the pitcher. Namjoon crouched behind Jungkook as the umpire. Jungkook struck out the first time, but hit perfectly the second. He dropped the bat and took off running. Taehyung took off after him and caught him in an instant, tackling him to the ground. Instead of arguing that Taehyung’s supernatural speed was unfair, Jungkook laughed heartily as he pulled himself off the ground. This absolutely didn’t seem like something Catalina would like, but it was fun to watch.

               The clouds began to darken and a slow rain began. Catalina pulled her hood up.

               Taehyung was up to bat next, Jimin pitching. Taehyung flipped the bat, tapping the end and catching the handle. That was hot seeing it in the movie, but it was even hotter seeing Taehyung do it. She wondered if Namjoon could flip the bat like that.

               “He won’t be able to flip it like that,” said Yoongi. Catalina’s heart skipped a beat. She stared at him as her mind raced.

               “Can you…can you read minds?” she whispered. Yoongi chuckled and shook his head.

               “No. But I’ve been around long enough to read people,” said Yoongi. “You were eyeing him in his too-tight t-shirt.”

               “How old-“

               The field erupted into laughter. The rain had picked up and the field was staring to get muddy. It seemed that Taehyung had tackled Jungkook again and they were rolling around in the mud, Jimin and Jin were laughing hysterically beside them. Their white t-shirts were practically transparent, clinging to their chests. Jungkook was more toned than Catalina expected…

Namjoon was up to bat next.

               “Flip the bat!” Catalina shouted to him. “Flip the bat like Tae did!”

               Namjoon tried to flip the bat, but ended up hitting himself in the face and dropping it.

               “Told you,” said Yoongi.

               “Whatever. It was worth a shot,” said Catalina.

               The game went on and the rain got heavier. Luckily, Jungkook had the foresight to tell everyone to wear white t-shirts for the baseball game, because soon, everyone’s shirts were soaked and transparent. The ground was muddy and as Namjoon ran to home base, he slid across the ground, the mud splashing up around him dramatically. Jimmy K took the bat next. He was wearing shorts with his wet t-shirt, showing off his sturdy, oiled thighs.

               “You’re drooling,” Yoongi said.

               “Shut up,” said Catalina, unable to tear her eyes away from the game. She wiped her chin and sure enough, there was drool in the corner of her mouth. She couldn’t help it though. Everyone on that field was incredibly hot and they were all soaked. Their shirts left nothing to the imagination.

               Catalina shifted in her seat. She wondered if Jungkook had checked the weather ahead of time and planned this. She made a note to ask him later. And if he did plan this, she’d have to thank him. She wondered if he knew what he looked like right now, with the wet shirt clinging to his abs and chest and hard nipples…

               She only had to wonder for a moment though, because a few seconds later, Jungkook was lifting the bottom of his shirt to wipe the mud from his face, his eyes darting over to her. That son of a bitch knows exactly what he’s doing, Catalina thought.

               Catalina was startled out of that train of thought as Yoongi stood abruptly, his chair falling backward. Catalina startled and looked at him with wide eyes.

               “What? What is it?” Catalina asked.

               “Shut up,” he said. His eyes narrowed as they darted around the tree line.

               From the woods, three people strolled into the field. The boys stopped playing baseball and watched the three strangers approach. Yoongi joined them, Catalina close behind.

               “I haven’t seen you four around, are you new to this town?” the man in the middle asked. He was big; tall and broad with a good natured smile on his face.

               “No, we’ve lived here a long time. Are you new?” asked Namjoon.

               “A bit,” the man said. “I didn’t realize there were more of us living around here. I figured we already met everyone.”

               “Do you mind if we join your game?” the woman beside him asked. She was tall and blonde, a sinister red smile on her face. The third woman’s eyes flickered between the five humans.

               “You even brought snacks,” she said. This woman had a thick Indian accent and dark skin. Her gaze was so piercing, Catalina felt as if the woman could tell what she was thinking just by looking at her. All three of them had blood red eyes.

               “We were actually just leaving,” Namjoon said as he positioned himself in front of Catalina.

               “No need to get defensive!” the man said, holding out his hands. His smile was still relaxed and charming. “We won’t take what isn’t ours.”

               “Joon-ah,” Hoseok whispered. He was shuffling behind Namjoon, tugging on his sleeve. He looked pale and terrified.

               “We can leave if you want us to, we just thought we’d introduce ourselves,” the man said. “We always love making new friends.”

               Namjoon glanced at Hoseok, then looked back at the man with narrowed eyes. He didn’t say anything.

               “My name is Makai,” the man said. He gestured to the blonde woman and said, “This is Amanda,” and then to the other woman, “And this is Mohati.”

               “My name is Namjoon, and this is Yoongi, Taehyung, and Hoseok,” said Namjoon.

               “You’re not going to introduce your human friends?” Mohati asked, sauntering over to Jungkook. Taehyung growled and stepped in front of him. Jungkook’s eyes were like saucers.

               “I apologize for interrupting your game,” said Makai. “I can see you don’t need any more players, so we’ll be on our way. But here, take my card. Come visit us some time. We’re always on the lookout for fresh faces.”

               He handed a business card to Namjoon then waved to the two women to follow him away. They left the way they came, into the woods until Catalina could no longer see them.

               Namjoon looked at the card and said, “I think you guys should go home. Yoongi and I will follow you home. Taehyung, Hoseok, trail them to see where they’re heading.”

               Hoseok shook his head furiously and said with a shaking voice, “No, no, nonononono we don’t have to do that. They’re probably not going anywhere, we can just go home and forget about it.”

               Catalina looked at him with concern.

               “Do you know those guys?” Yoongi asked.

               “What?” Hoseok laughed the fakest, most nervous laugh Catalina’s ever heard. “No! Why would I know them? Let’s just take the humans home and forget about it!”

               “Now, wait just a second!” Jungkook said, pushing past Taehyung and putting his hands on his hips. “Don’t we get a say in this?”

               “No,” all four vampires said simultaneously.

               “But there’s a mystery afoot!” Jungkook said. “They were sus!”

               “Not a mystery for you,” said Namjoon. “We’re taking you home.”

               “Yeah, I think I’m okay with just going home,” said Jimin, putting a hand on Jungkook’s shoulder. “This seems like too much for us.”

               That was how Catalina found herself back in the passenger seat of Jungkook’s car with Jimin and Namjoon in the back seat. The BMW followed closely behind, the Jeep behind the BMW.

               “Who do you think those people were?” asked Jungkook. His hair was drying, curling slightly at the ends. Catalina resisted the urge to run her hands through it.

               “No idea,” said Namjoon. “I’ve never seen them before. There’s not many vampires this far south, so maybe they’re travelers? Or maybe they’re just new to town…”

               “This is south?” said Catalina.

               “Most vampire communities are farther north, like Canada and Northern Europe. Less sunlight.”

               “What about Russia?” asked Jungkook.

               “Russia is just as bad as France,” Namjoon spat the word “France” like the country had personally insulted his mother. “No one lives there. Anyway, they probably won’t hurt you since they saw you with us, but you guys should still be careful,” said Namjoon.

               “Sure, whatever you say, mom,” said Catalina with a cackle. Namjoon didn’t look amused. “I’m kidding. I definitely don’t want to be their meal.”

               They drove in silence for a while.

               “Whose car is the Jeep?” asked Catalina. “Is it yours?”

               Namjoon smiled and said, “No, it’s Hoseok’s. Taehyung bought it for him for his birthday last year, but Hoseok picked it out.”

               “Are you guys all crazy rich? Like, the stereotypical vampires coming from royalty or whatever?” Jungkook asked. Catalina remembered what Hoseok told her at game night.

               Namjoon laughed. “Yoongi actually did come from royalty, but not the rest of us. We’re just old enough to accumulate wealth.”

               “Ah, to be old enough to accumulate wealth,” Catalina said with a dramatic sigh, fluttering her lashes at him, which pulled a laugh out the whole car.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

               Caleb waited for what felt like forever for something to change. He felt tired and cold all the time. The men came by every day to drop off some food and water, and then the needle went in for a while. Caleb hated that the most because it meant he’d get even more tired and cold. He didn’t even care about the needle prick anymore. The door was always closed, but Caleb remembered when he first came there, some of the doors were open. He wondered if he became too tired to move much, if they’d keep his door open. He would at least like to see what was happening outside of the little cement room.

              One day, the door opened and some men set up another bed and blood bag stand on the other side of the room. Then the blonde woman came in. She was holding a lady in her arms, whom she laid down on the other bed. The lady was asleep. Caleb kept quiet as the blonde woman attached a needle to the lady’s arm, then left, closing the door behind her.

              Caleb got off of his own bed and approached the sleeping lady. It was a bit difficult to move, he kind of felt like he was moving through molasses, something he heard his mom say once but never understood until now. The lady was pretty, she had dark skin and big curly hair. Caleb wanted to wake her up and warn her about what was going to happen to her, but when he shook her shoulder, she just twitched and stayed asleep. The men must’ve given her the sleepy water. They gave Caleb the sleepy water one day when he tried to pull the needle out and run away. He knew not to do that again, because the headache he had after he woke up was the worst pain he’d ever felt.

Even though the sleeping lady wouldn’t wake up, Caleb was glad to have a new roommate. And he was glad she was an adult. Maybe she could help him escape and get back to his parents.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

Top 5 Dumbest Things in The Final Season

I’ve played TWDG a lot, and I can confidently say that The Final Season is my favorite installment, and I’d argue that it’s the best of the series in terms of visuals, controls, characters, and storyline... but that doesn’t mean it’s a perfect game by any means. In fact, there are a lot of issues and inconsistencies you could pick out within the story and the arcs of our characters.

But today I don’t wanna tackle the big problems. The issues on today’s list aren’t a big deal and won’t ruin the experience of the game-- they’re minor and just really, really dumb. They’re things that you probably wouldn’t even notice during your first or second playthrough of the game. Honestly, most of these probably could be easily explained with “shhhh, don’t think about it.” 

But I’m thinkin’ about them because they’re dumb. So, here's my Top 5 dumbest things in TFS. Do note that these Top 5′s are all in good fun, and they’re my opinion. Obviously. 

[also, most of the screenshots used here are from @pi-creates​-- if you haven’t checked out Pi’s blog, I highly recommend you do! :D]

5. Doors make no sense. 

The doors in this game are dumb and make little sense. And you might be scoffing like, “Really? Doors?” and to that I say, “YES DOORS OKAY!”

If you’re like me, you like to look at everything in hopes of finding interesting details and maybe an easter egg. If you look at the all the doors after breaking out of the dorm in ep1, they all have different locks which... why? 

Wait, shouldn’t Clem be able to open this one...? The lock is right there on the outside. 

Why are they different? Also, why are the dorms lockable from the outside? Like, okay, I get it-- ya gotta lock up the troubled youth so that they don’t escape. Fine. Cool, I can accept that... except does this mean that someone had to go around and unlock all the dorms every morning before the apocalypse? What if you forgot a door and a handful got stuck in there for the day? What happens if you lock all these children in their rooms and a fire starts??

And don’t you look at me and try to be like “Pfft, there’s not gonna be a fire--” excuse me?? With Aasim hanging around, and Mitch for that matter, you’re gonna tell me that the odds of fire happening are 0%?

Well, y’know, fine. If there’s a fire, then the kids can just escape through the windows... oh wait--

Weeeeeell fuck the troubled youth, I guess. 

But the dorm doors aren’t even the dumbest doors here-- no, no. That would be the god damn basement door that apparently locks from both sides because game’s gotta game and I guess Marlon has the key?? This dumb door makes no sense. 

Again! I feel like this is a safety hazard?? Sure hope no one gets locked down there, otherwise, you’re fucked I guess?? because there’s no way to unlock or open it from the inside?? After Brody dies and Clem’s looking for a way out, you’d think that she should be able to just open the door at the top of the stairs now that she’s inside but nooooo-- game’s gotta game. 

Ugh, dumb doors!

4. Abel’s magic shotgun

Did you guys know that Abel actually has a special shotgun? A magical shotgun, if you will?

It’s true, he does. He uses a shotgun that, when he fires it, the buckshot curves around to hit the target when the plot demands it.

It’s true! And it’s dumb!

I know this, because if you yell for Violet to shoot Lilly in ep2, Abel will throw AJ to the grab, pull the shotgun out of nowhere, and fire at both her and Louis.... but somehow--

--only Louis manages to get hit.

Soooo.... I guess the buckshot swerves around and above Violet to ONLY hit Louis? Like, I know she ducks a bit but I still feel like something should’ve nicked her as well?? At least?? Like, are lesbians immune to shotguns and that’s why nothing hit Violet?? Am I only learning this now??

Not only that, but it only got Louis in the arm?? H-how??

But that’s not all!

After Louis and Violet flee the scene, Clementine and AJ are on the run with Lilly and Abel shooting BEHIND them... sooo...

If Abel was behind them.... how is it that AJ’s shot in the FRONT of his stomach??

Like, I guess Abel could’ve been at an angle when he shot but they only ever show him behind them soo?? Do I just not know how shotguns work? Do they curve to hit people in their front rather than shooting straight forward?? Because what??

On top of that, how is AJ not dead?? I know, I know, protagonist powers and whatnot but?? the boy took a shotgun to the belly?? other characters have survived lesser things??

But y’know, the dumbest part about this is the fact that I can’t take Abel’s magic shotgun for myself after the Ericson crew capture him. I could’ve just finished off every delta member if the shots curve and travel to hit their targets.

Or maybe Abel’s the only one who can harness its power.

Either way, Abel’s dumb shotgun is dumb.

3.You can’t hug Louis and Violet during their romance routes. 

Sigh.... Why?

Y’all know that I’m a clouis shipper, and now lemme tell you a fun story that isn’t actually that fun-- Do you remember when the trailer dropped for ep3? And we got some teaser screenshots, with one of them being a shot of Clementine and Louis hugging? Well, I was excited for a plethora of reasons, and that hug? 

I could not wait for this hug.

Then I got through my first run of ep3 and... no hug? Wait, no hug? Why not? I thought--

Oh. Oh, it turns out... it turns out you can only hug Louis if you don’t romance him. 

Ummmm. Huh. Wha- why?? Do you know how dumb that is?? What dingus who worked on this episode forgot to implement the hug option for the romance route?? Rather, what dingus thought it was a good idea to only give the Louis romance two options outside of doing nothing-- Slap Louis, or kiss him?? Where’s my hug?? Why is Clementine not allowed to comfort her boyfriend��with a hug when he’s clearly anxious about everything that’s about to go down?

Look, the smooch is great and all BUT it’s not what Louis needs in this moment, ya dingus. 

I’m sure if I asked Kent for answers about this, he’d do one of two things-- go into a long winded essay about how the lack of hug and slapping him totally makes sense within the context of Louis’ character arc and route because of this and that and this subtle detail here... or he’d give a shrug and say “I dunno, reasons??”

Ugh, okay, well maybe they let you have the choice in Violet’s romance route--

...Why??

Again, if I choose to romance Violet, why am I not allowed to comfort my girlfriend with a hug before we do this rescue mission?? Sure, I can reassure her that I’m not going anywhere, which is definitely a better option for a love interest than, oh I don’t know, slapping. But the HUG!

They could’ve implemented the hug option into the romance routes but they didn’t and that’s incredibly dumb. 

2. Magic tree is magic. 

Know what I don’t like? The dream theory. Y’know, the theory that the overly happy ending we got at the end of TFS was all just a dream in AJ’s head to cope with the devastation of the real ending-- the one where Clementine died.  

Now, I can already hear you scoffing at me once more like, “Dream theories are dumb, CJ.” and this time, I do agree with you. 

However, there’s actually some compelling evidence that could subtly point at this theory, such as the backward graffiti in the dorms that was present in Clementine’s nightmare, or the fact that Clementine is, y’know, alive despite being seconds away from death in the barn...

Oh, and then there’s this fucking magic tree. 

Oh, you know... the tree that magically grows in in ep4! The one with the tire swing! 

Episode 3 vs Episode 4

This tree is dumb and makes no sense. What, did they just... plant a tree there? Did they push the tree up that was on the ground and use some magical wood glue to fix it?? Clementine said that Willy helped her with the tire swing so like... is Willy some sort of tree whisperer?? 

Or is this just further evidence of the dream theory where AJ’s lamenting the fact that Clementine never got to push him on the tire swing back at the train station and now she never will because she’s fucking dead??

I don’t wanna think about it. In fact, I’m pretty sure that’s what the devs would tell me-- “Shhhh... don’t think about it.” 

This tree is dumb! 

1. What even is the greenhouse??

So.... the green house. It’s dumb. And inconsistent, both in the story and actual location of it. 

First of all, as you can see in the concept image above, it should be within the walls of Ericson, yeah? And if you’re like, “Well, it’s CONCEPT art so it might not be totally accurate CJ.” and I say, “Fair enough, let’s look that the actual in-game map the characters use then.”

Look at that-- still within the walls of Ericson, though in a different location than the concept art. Make sense? Sooo....

Where the hell is it?

Because it’s not within Ericson’s walls. No, no--

It is WAAAAY the hell out here! You can see the bell tower in the distance so like... huh? Where are we?? This is a long as walk to the greenhouse! 

Oh, and if the weird inconsistent locations weren’t dumb enough, there are different conflicting stories surrounding it, as well! 

First, Marlon says that they had it functional with lots of vegetables, but then it became over grown so they don’t go out there anymore. Then, if you go fishing with Violet and Brody, Vi will tell you she worked in the greenhouse the day the twins were killed last year, which... doesn’t add up? Especially when we actually go there in ep2 and see that Ms. Martin died and became a walker inside, but she died a while ago?? 

Also, how did Ms. Martin get tied up like that? Did she get bit, barricade the doors-- wait, that doesn’t work because how did she barricade the science lab from the inside when there’s a shelf in front of the door?? In fact, shouldn’t the walkers that are inside be students that died?? 

“Sshhhh... don’t think about it.”

Ugh, nothing adds up about this greenhouse and that makes it the dumbest thing in TFS.

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Honorable Mentions

AJ magically teleporting behind Marlon with the gun. Because plot.

The dumb padlock on the gate Louis/Violet/Tenn climb over in ep4 that they could’ve easily broken

Louis’ jacket that somehow holds Chairles

The padding on Violet’s boot that’s rendered useless because they put it on the leg she doesn’t use to kick walkers away

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Those are my Top 5 dumbest things in TFS, do you agree or disagree? Do you have anything from this game that’s dumber than what I have listed? Let me know! 

Next week’s T5F Top 5 Characters in ANF Who Would’ve Made Better Love Interests Than Kate