#his part in brocedes drama

[themoonofblueside]

so lewis still drops christmas gifts for nico and that made my brain tingle because nico and vivian's eldest probably has some very very vague memories of uncle lewis, who raced with Dad and used to come around once in a while but he's too busy now, who still brings christmas gifts but can't stay around because he is needed elsewhere... something something having dreams and plans with your best friend about raising your kids together and still bringing them gifts even after you fall apart. something about keeping promises that you're free from.

[astonmartinii]

knives out | lewis hamilton social media au

pairing: lewis hamilton x rosberg!reader

2016 saw the murder of brocedes right before our very eyes, but who got y/n in the will?

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

- part of the brother's best friend series -

yourusername

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yourusername: back in barcelona! nothing has ever happened here, right? RIGHT?

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user1: when i'm in a victim of brocedes contest and y/n rosberg turns up

user2: nico was like "oh, lewis has had a good qualifying... here comes the curse"

user3: he's the hater we should all aspire to be

nicorosberg: barcelona is a beautiful place but you should pick your company well!

yourusername: great advice nico, i should've left you at home

nicorosberg: snore! i'm great company you just can't keep up with my great personality and wit

yourusername: what ever you need to tell yourself old man

nicorosberg: i'm two years older than you?

yourusername: how was the industrial revolution?

user4: i hope they never grow up and always argue in public

user5: omg the argument on sky about lewis v seb in canada... and jenson just stood there with the biggest shit-eating grin ever

lewishamilton: my trauma is not your joke

yourusername: it was my trauma too i was the one who had to listen to him complain for the next TWO WEEKS

lewishamilton: trying to find where i care...

yourusername: you complained first ??

lewishamilton: rightly so!

yourusername: do not tussle with me about this, by now i thought you'd know that us rosbergs don't play about complaining

lewishamilton: believe me my therapist knows that

user6: i know nico sat on his hands forcing himself not to comment back

user7: alternatively, celebrating that he still lives in lewis' head

lewishamilton

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lewishamilton: @yourusername i may love you but if that man ever takes a picture of my car i'm putting a hit on his head

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user11: we got a relationship reveal and a death threat all in one post

user12: lewis saw yall ready to make a brocedes edit using this race and made sure you knew that he doesn't care about a his old haunts

user13: he was like yall shipping me with the wrong rosberg

yourusername: let's refrain from threats for now

lewishamilton: we're gonna have to get rid of that last name, no more curses

nicorosberg: RIGHT THAT IS IT IF YOU DARE GET MARRIED DOUBLE-BARRELLED OR ELSE, ROSBERGS ARE ELITE AND YOU WISH YOU HAD THIS NAME

yourusername: he does have a point

lewishamilton: i'm for real going to lose my mind that we haven't spoken in years and this is where he drew the line

nicorosberg: you told the world you're dating my sister at the same time as me

lewishamilton: stop cursing me then 🤨

nicorosberg: i don't curse you my devilish good looks just sent your engine into cardiac arrest

user14: i know toto wolff just fell to his knees in the mercedes garage seeing them bicker in instagram comments after making merc a literal warzone for years

user15: and yet this is the most brocedes way to go about it

georgerussell63: even if you're dating his sister, i'm still your favourite teammate right?

yourusername: valterri exists buddy soz

georgerussell63: *clutches my pearls*

lewishamilton: and that is exactly why valterri is my favourite teammate

georgerussell63: whatever 💁🏻‍♀️

charles_leclerc: not for long xx

yourusername: whoever can bring me the best coffee can get the crown?

lewishamilton: stop exploiting my teammate and future teammate

yourusername: that's what they're there for?

yourusername

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yourusername: anything happen this week?

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user19: y/n ruining her brother's week - anything happen this week?

user20: more like year

nicorosberg: more like life

yourusername: drama queen

nicorosberg: as i should be !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yourusername: got enough exclamation marks in there buddy

nicorosberg: no open the door i need to scream directly in your ears

yourusername: if it's any consolation, the relationship started after 2016

nicorosberg: so he got me out of the way so he could go for my little sister 🤨

lewishamilton: yep!

nicorosberg: no i'm serious let me in i need to yell

nicorosberg: I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE I CAN HEAR ROSCOE

nicorosberg: fine i'll just abseil from my apartment give me a sec

user21: y/n please let him in he's so serious about that i can feel it

user22: anyone from monaco here and want to keep us updated?

danielricciardo: Y/N LET HIM IN HE NEARLY KICKED MY POTTED PLANT OFF THE BALCONY

yourusername: lol

danielricciardo: THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER PLEASE

lewishamilton: fine, you people are such bores

nicorosberg: i nearly lost a birkenstock

yourusername: and my inheritance nearly doubled

lewishamilton: *our

user23: i think lewis is having way too much fun with this

nicorosberg

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nicorosberg: we're back at the track and i've got a sneaking feeling that the red bull might be fast around here

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user24: nico said babe won't catch me posting lewis on my instagram

maxverstappen1: sure thing buddy he's dating your sister, but there's NO NEED TO TAKE IT OUT ON ME

nicorosberg: i said you're going to win?

maxverstappen1: i DON'T NEED YOUR BAD JUJU GIVE IT TO LEWIS HE'S THE ONE YOU'RE ANGRY AT NOT ME

nicorosberg: i'm not angry at lewis

lewishamilton: really?

nicorosberg: OF COURSE NOT

yourusername: he'll get over it soon lewis don't worry

lewishamilton: really? he's still holding a grudge from 2016 - that was EIGHT YEARS AGO

yourusername: yeah sorry that's a rosberg trait ❤️

user25: not the grid becoming victims of the brocedes fall out eight years later

yourusername: you're so shady why did you crop lewis out?

nicorosberg: outfit wasn't on par with the rosbergs

yourusername: oh no

lewishamilton: HOW DARE YOU

yourusername: you queens can take this out on each other i'm not getting involved in this one

lewishamilton: i know this birkenstock wearing primadonna is not dissing my custom mcqueen

nicorosberg: it's custom because no one would want something so ugly 🫶🏻

user26: someone take nico off the parc ferme interviews lewis might just run him over

user27: he should just let roscoe at his ankles

nicorosberg: that vegan dog can't do shit to me

yourusername: leave the kids out of it nico

nicorosberg: you birthed that? my condolences to your reproductive system

lewishamilton: DO NOT FAT SHAME MY SON

roscoelovescoco: kill yourself @nicorosberg

user28: WTF IS GOING ON

lewishamilton

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lewishamilton: he may have won the battle, but i won the war

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user29: bro you're going to be subjected to boho chic Christmases for the rest of your life

user30: guy is going to get poisoned via christmas nut roast by nico 😭

yourusername: this is corny but i love you

lewishamilton: i love you too i'm going to pretend you didn't just call my super thought out caption corny

yourusername: it was corny and that's what i love about you

nicorosberg: you need better standards

yourusername: for someone who had so much homoerotic tension with the man that you retired you're being very rude about the subject of such tension

nicorosberg: that's not how that went

yourusername: sure, jan

nicorosberg: stop trying to rewrite history

yourusername: i saw it with my own two eyes... are you jealous that i ended up with lewis instead of you?

nicorosberg: nO

user31: i feel like this is definitely not the argument i thought i would see on the internet today

user32: lewis hamilton got passed around the rosberg house ... this your goat?

user33: both rosbergs are hawt as hell so yes!

charles_leclerc: oh great, keep stoking the flames lewis! if you invoke his wrath upon ferrari next season i will personally sacrifice you to the gods

lewishamilton: excuse me?

charles_leclerc: i don't know if you know this but i kinda don't have a world championship yet ... I DO NOT WANT THE ROSBERG CURSE ATTACHED TO ME

lewishamilton: do not minimise my trauma charles

charles_leclerc: you haven't joined ferrari yet, you don't know trauma. be nice to him, i can't finish my career with max having more championships than me

maxverstappen1: skill issue

user34: do these people ever stop arguing?

yourusername: no! and i can assure you it's worse in person

user35: worst brocedes tussle since nico found out?

yourusername: i was making a list of people to invite to my birthday dinner and nico was angry that i wrote lewis' name before his

yourusername

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yourusername: still a victim of the brocedes nuclear fallout all these years later

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user37: bro nearly lost her bf to her brother

user38: lewis couldn't have nico and went for his sister instead

user39: insert larry stylinson theory here that y/n is just the beard and toto wolff is simon cowell

yourusername: i'm blocking all of you

nicorosberg: still yapping about this ... and i'm the dramatic one

yourusername: babe we can all see all of your comments on previous posts where you're the literal definition of crashing out

nicorosberg: BARCELONA WAS LEWIS' FAULT WE ALL KNOW THIS

yourusername: when did i bring up barcelona... you just proved my point IDIOT

nicorosberg: make me sound insane all you want ... TOTO IS THE REAL VILLAIN HERE

yourusername: ???

nicorosberg: he notebooked us

yourusername: riiiiiiiiiiight

nicorosberg: i wrote lewis a letter when i retired and toto never gave it to him

yourusername: you're telling me i had to hide my relationship for so long because you trusted that austrian big foot fraud to be your messenger pigeon ?

user40: did we just get insane brocedes lore on a random tuesday?

user41: you're telling me it was toto's fault the whole time?

lewishamilton: well yes it would've been helpful to have gotten the letter, you have to admit the sneeking around was hot

yourusername: you're right 🤭🤭🤭

lewishamilton: hiding in your bathroom while nico came over to bitch about me was a personal highlight

nicorosberg: excuse me?

lewishamilton: i know we're trying to be better, so here's a compliment: you're very creative when being mean about me

nicorosberg: why thank you 😝

yourusername: nuh uh we ain't doing this shit

lewishamilton: don't worry y/n you'll always be my favourite

nicorosberg: but you'll never have our trip to greece :P

yourusername: i will strangle you britney

user42: y/n got brocedes to talk again, but at what cost?

lewishamilton

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lewishamilton: got y/n's hand in marriage in the will (after i murdered her brother's career)

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user43: y/n can't escape brocedes even on her engagement post

user44: she (and them) will never get rid of it

yourusername: i love you baby, here's to the rest of our life (even if that includes you arguing with my brother for the rest of time)

lewishamilton: i love you even more, i'd go through all of that psychological warfare again and again if it means i still end up with you

yourusername: we've always had an invisible string

lewishamilton: and there's no one else i'd want to be cosmically tied to <3

user45: i might cry they're so cute

user46: that comment thread called me single in about 100 different languages

charles_leclerc: congratulations you two! also congratulations to me - no more rosberg curse!

yourusername: really? on this POST?

charles_leclerc: hold on girlypop, it was mr hamilton-rosberg that brought up your brother first not me

lewishamilton: you better get all this attitude out now charles

charles_leclerc: what? you gonna marry my brother?

yourusername: lol i'm not threatened by them

arthurleclerc: why am i being shaded?

user47: 2025 HURRY THE FUCK UP

nicorosberg: i guess you're finally getting the rosberg name you've always wanted ...

lewishamilton: yes... i have always had a crush on your sister

nicorosberg: GASP! PERVERT 🫵🏻 i have known you since we were 12 you GROSS MAN

lewishamilton: WELL YES I WAS ALSO 12 I'VE NOT ALWAYS BEEN 36 MORON

yourusername: well doesn't this just get me excited for christmas

user48: i know a monopoly board hate to see these three coming

yourusername: @nicorosberg can i have an actual congratulations???

nicorosberg: i'm happy for you, i'm glad you're happy (also he's loaded so slay)

yourusername: i'll take it!

lewishamilton: sure whatever thanks nico !

fin.

note: lol finally finished this one! i have been very in and out on here, i have a lot going on x

[landoom]

Please don't make Landoscar the next Brocedes!

They were okay after the race!

Lando went to congratulate Oscar immediately.

They smiled at each other a lot.

Lando grabbing Oscar's shoulder to congratulate him.

Lando congratulating Oscar for his win in his interview.

The problem wasn't between them. It was between the team and them!

I'm not naive I know things might get sour between them at one point or another. But they are getting along, they know they were going to become adversaries at some point and what is said during the high of a race shouldn't be taken as someone's true feelings!

And Lando looked a bit down on the podium because it's another near miss for him and he can feel that and still be happy for Oscar at the same time!

McLaren put themselves in a complicated situation here. They have to learn from this. They have to make things right with their drivers. But it's part of the sports, it happened before and will happen again... And it doesn't always ends up in full drama!

[dear-ao3]

silliest part of 2024 silly season?

cant really give the silliest part but can give you a top..several moments of the season as a whole

in no order of greatness:

-k mags in saudi not letting anyone pass Plus the viking meme haas posted after

-lewis hamilton. ferrari.

-that lando.mov from australia

-the entirety of the chinese gp weekend

-logan sargeant having to drive the british car in britain on fourth of july. and being pissed about it in the uh torque talk or whatever it’s called (team torque?)

-the WINK that LEWIS gave NICO

-silverstone in general

-the whole williams v oscar padel debate

-oscar getting adopted by charles

-danny rics fastest lap in singapore haunting the narrative

-the george max. thing.

-brazil. both qualifying and the race.

-vegas smelling like weed

-any time will buxton and james hinchcliff bashed mclaren

-the merc video where george and lewis dressed eachother

-mrs corinna schumacher laying into james vowels. deservedly.

-max v the media

-LEO

-the carlos unemployed arc

-any time zhou and valtteri were forced into weird stake videos

-the glamor shots that came out of the aston garage every time there was a red flag

-franco. in general.

-isack accidentally confirming his vcarb seat in an f2 conference

-every time someone called vcarb the wrong name and the vcarb social media going at them

-miiiiiiami

-multi 21 part 2

-the senna helmet thing

-merc somehow forgetting that lewis podiumed the china sprint race

-charles vegas rant

-max getting drunk in the paddock after winning the wdc

-every time helmut marko Almost got fired (plus that one time oscar bashed him)

-the drivers dinner!!!! the drama!!!!!!

-lance stroll tim hortons promo

-george’s graphic design is my passion video

-lando and oscar. in general. but specifically that one video with the hangers.

-jenson button calling mark webber old in monaco

-i think it was…qatar? where ted and crofty exchanged weird facts on air

-nico rosberg dropping that he was offered stake in alpine and didn’t do it

-breaking the monaco curse

-lewis being immune to the nico curse

-williams nearly not having a car several times

-every bit of off the walls commentary

-nico being forced to relive brocedes several times and nearly killing zak brown

-the alpine texas HOWDY YALL video

-END OF FHE FRENCH CIVIL WAR

-ollie bearman

-my dad randomly running into liam lawson

there’s most definitely more but that’s what i’ve got right now

[thebirdsareafterme]

maxiel, galex, scaniel, brocedes!

OOOH OK I am ready.

Maxiel: makes sense, compels the FUCK out of me

I genuinely don’t think there’s been a ship that has compelled me like Maxiel. They make me so insane and I’ve spent the last 8 months of my life going up and down all 200ish AO3 pages in the tag like some kind of deranged possum, searching for more Maxiel content. They just make so much sense in my mind. You have Max, who has been taught his entire life that his only purpose in life is to win races, who is this angry, strung up little kid when he first joins F1…and then he meets Daniel, who is so kind and charismatic and has always been taught to enjoy the moment and the process of it all and just treats him with so much love even when he’s not winning or when he’s getting criticized by the media…and Max finally learns how to enjoy life outside of racing for the first time. Even outside of the general RPF scene of it all, the absolute pivotal Maxiel moments are so important and have so much significance in the grand scheme of the sport. Daniel leaving Red Bull because of Max (to an extent) which then caused a ripple effect on a whole bunch of people’s careers and ultimately led to the Horrors that we are currently living through, but at the end of the day, it’s about “If it can’t be me, I’m glad it’s him” and that fastest lap into “Thank you, Daniel.” Yeah, I could talk about them for DAYS if given the chance.

Galex: makes sense, compels me

They’re everythingggg to me. I love the childhood friends to lovers thing they have going on. The Galex lore is so interesting, like the throat infection incident, the collarbone biking accident, the whole thing about George being Alex’s hype man/personal photographer as a kid… underrated ship fr. They have the best chemistry and their sense of humour actually work so well together, and I NEED more content from them. I also CANNOT ship either of them with anyone else because it just does! Not! Work! In my head. They are each other’s ride or die and I love that for them.

Scaniel: makes sense, does not compel me

I love their friendship a lot and I think they have so much weird gay energy between them, but unfortunately my day one Daniel ship is still Maxiel. I think Scaniel has potential for growth, but unfortunately they do kinda give off besties to me. I will admit they have had some good, shippable moments, but Scotty just feels like a straight man in my mind. I think it’s just the DR effect (every man within a 5 mile radius falls in love with him) that drives this ship forward tbh.

Brocedes: makes sense, compels me A LOT

THIS is THE SHIP of all ships. The lore goes so hard and it’s so devastating to me. I’m a sucker for a good childhood friends to lovers to enemies storyline, so they are right up my alley. It’s just the most insane story that when I tried explaining it to my casual F1 fan friend, they asked me if it was from a movie and I was like NO! This is irl!!! The way that they have a 6 hour, 3 part YouTube docuseries about their relationship is crazy. No other ship has as much angst as them, and no one will ever come close to being them. It’s the way that they fundamentally are a part of each other’s careers and that you cannot mention one without the other, it’s the way that Nico talks about that era of his life and how he could only stomach their childhood favourite cereal on the weekend before cinching the championship, how he ruined his body and soul to beat Lewis and how his retirement changed Lewis’ whole outlook on the sport!!! And through it all, there is an awkward third-wheel in the form of either Daniel Ricciardo or Sebastian Vettel just smiling through the most disgusting vibes a room could ever have, which, in my opinion, adds to the whole drama of the ship. This ship has so much narrative and character and it is so so devastating to think about, I need to see or make a Brocedes movie before I die.

[redlightspellsdaanger]

Thierry and Nicolas - and Martijn.

Need to write this down to organise my thoughts because I'm seriously fascinated with the dynamics between Thierry and his co-drivers.

Yes, he clearly has a very good relationship with Martijn and they work. But whenever he is asked about him - and in these interviews people tend to pile on the praise even if it's not quite like that - it feels he is almost going out of his way to sound as detached as possible ("you don't have to be friends", "we already end up spending so much time together, so it's best to not mix personal time", etc). It is almost cold. If you didn't see the way they interact you would think they don't mean much to each other.

Which takes us to Le Divorce, as he called it himself - with Nicolas Gilsoul.

The facts are known. Surprise parting only a mere days before the start of the season, both saying it was the other's decision and none of them going into details. Speculation: contractual reasons aka money. (in a very interesting podcast dated January this year Thierry actually said the confidence wasn't there anymore and he alluded to important changes in Nicolas' personal life that had an impact also in their work)

This split could have blown up in the media in a different way but none of them was really pointing fingers in public. To me it came across not as hard feelings - but hurt feelings on both sides.

One looks at how Martijn speaks about Thierry and you can clearly tell he sees him as the boss. My perception from the interaction with Nicolas was completely different. They seemed equals and level in every way.

They joked they were like Yin and Yang, that they complemented each other (N the funnier one, T the more serious; T the less affected by pressure, N would take a few days to turn the page, etc).

But in the middle of it all, you could tell they were extremely close.

With Martijn, instead they highlight how similar they are. In terms of approach, how seriously they take the job. And we have to remember that Martijn is a ray of sunshine but he sat down in the car with Thierry, zero testing together and no shakedown, and drove to a podium in Monte Carlo. He is not there to play.

People get more experienced with age, been there, done that. It's entirely possible Thierry has also changed overtime, older and more seasoned, responsabilities, a lot of pressure and time running out to win.

I can't help but think that the situation with Nicolas marked him deeply.

He doesn't want to be closer to Martijn. Professional aspect aside, he just wants someone who he is at peace with and clicks the same way he does, that they are in synch and that above all, requires no effort. He does not want to have friendship or emotions in the middle because it will make it harder if things go wrong at the job they have to do - he literally said this.

Relationships also work like that. You break-up from a very intense relationship, with incredible highs and devastating lows, and next thing you want is just something...simple.

Funnily enough, T+N remind me of Brocedes in a way. Except that Brocedes is a Hollywood story (full of pettiness, big words, high stakes, a lot of drama) while T+N is an European tale. Understated, lurking in the depths, hurt feelings but no fireworks. Two people who probably didn't stop liking each other but could not continue together.

There's so much I have missed, so this perception I have of the situation could be completely off the mark! It's a work in progress.

If anyone who reads this wants to share their own opinions ideas, I'm all ears!

This is the podcast from January which is quite insightful, on You Tube.

[inchidentally]

replying to asks abt the Drama today so pls skip if you're fully over that salfgjlagf (and bl 'tricky asks' to not see me respond to stuff like this - but I always put under a cut as well!)

oh my god this is a whole epic jfc and I'm p sure I repeat myself a lot I'm sorry <3

and for anyone who sees the walls of text below and is like pls tl;dr it for me bitch: today is one of multiple examples proving that Lando and Oscar are exceptionally able to maintain perspective and genuine consideration of each other given their situations and their ages. and that while they, like all teammates, will have ups and downs that they are FAR from the kinds of teammates to ever let the bad times linger or fester. I'm not going to be participating in flipping out or overreacting to it when it does inevitably happen but that it hasn’t even happened today! so I just don’t see a point in projecting the rare examples of melodramatic teammates onto Lando and Oscar as teammates. esp today when they both could quite easily have sniped at each other a bit even indirectly and yet they didn't! Lando at the team? absolutely! but like for anyone feeling sad or upset in terms of the landoscar of it all, I'm genuinely baffled ?? bc I'm personally out here impressed yet again at how well they've handled this ?? so yea <3

just to say, if you're someone who truly loves the Epic Highs and Lows of Formula One then good on you and continue having fun! some people live for The Drama and obv I'm not addressing or criticizing that at all!

but since I'm out here being regularly openly insane about landoscar and I've gotten these asks and seen people feeling upset, I def feel like it’s fair that I bring reality and reason into my posts as well being stupid akfgsalfg

so I've grown up with F1 passively in the background of my life (as in on the main TV in my house) and I'm still mostly a fake, but I've picked up some things over the years and one of them is that the average set of teammates aren't the melodrama ones. most teammates who enjoy genuine competitive closeness on the track just tick each other off sometimes but mostly like each other and hang out a bit - overall the average dynamic ranges from mildly indifferent to good buddies. 

(brocedes and sebmark are outliers for a reason. and they did NOT just turn bad overnight. that toxic soup was brewing from the very start. but more about that later in this gigantic ass essay)

so once I realized last season that Lando and Oscar genuinely like each other and weren't gonna pop off over everything, my assumption has always been that they would have their tiffs and snipe to the press or avoid each other for periods but then get over it and go back to liking each other again - rinse and repeat! from a driver’s pov it's way more enjoyable and preferable to NOT be fighting w the guy you spend so much time and share a car with.

but !! that didn't happen and hasn't happened! with Lando and Oscar it very quickly went beyond just passively okay w each other - they've made active choices to show respect and fairness and consideration that for me has truly been exceptional.

and while I'm insane about them for narratives and rpf, the not insane part is how these two fit together so beautifully? like, Lando knows and says how his feelings and his brain can just take over sometimes and he struggles - that includes his feelings of anger and resentment. Oscar's primary trait is being calm and being able to be circumspect even under stress. Lando's actually said that he's learned from Oscar remaining calm. then you've got Oscar's 'hearteyes' and genuine admiration of Lando that shows up not in loud PR ways* but in quiet respect and standing back for Lando to shine and giving Lando his full dues. over time, Lando's come to 'hearteyes' right back bc of the respect and ngl genuine affection he feels for Oscar's fairness and respectfulness and his persistence in showing up and being happy for Lando no matter what. like, none of that requires embellishment and it's said by pretty much everyone including each other!

so to me, that means that when they do inevitably have 'moments' at the front of the pack together in future they'll ofc be grumpy w each other or resentful but it'll all be okay once they've cooled off. 

but !! that was not today !! my entire day of reblogging is just a nonstop bam bam bam of them looking out for each other in the face of this drama and taking care to not feed the media who have been dying for them to hate each other since day one. Oscar apologizing and if anything being less celebratory today than he was in Monaco for his second place. keeping the post race short and simple** and not going over the top celebrating after the team photo. Lando repeating in his post races that Oscar deserved the win and that he didn't want the issues with team orders to overshadow that and literally reaching out to Oscar to say 'we're okay' right out of the car <3

so yea in the years they are teammates they will definitely have their off days and probably that'll happen at certain points this season - but genuinely ! it should not be taken for granted how mature and considerate and kind they've remained w each other since basically Austria last year ! that counts for a hell of a lot in terms of not assuming they're "over" every time team strategy screws one or both of them, or that they will become different people and suddenly cultivate melodrama.

and sure, anything can happen etc etc but I don’t see a point in just aimlessly waiting for the absolute worst to happen unless you actively want them to hate each other which seems like a huge waste of time but to each their own ldgfjlagfljsfg

guys… things like "why didn't he spray Oscar with champagne first" and "they had a moment where they weren't smiling" or "the cool down room was awkward" "Oscar didn't thank Lando like Lando did in Miami" “Oscar hasn’t liked such and such on instagram” is not only pointless self-torturing it's also all pretty easy to debunk by someone like me who follows a lot of teams and drivers and sees a ton of different sides to these things every weekend:

- as for the comment likes, Oscar hasn't liked everyone's comments that he should have - I did a quick pass and the standouts are he still hasn’t liked the comment from opeightyone (his own brand company!), still hadn't liked the Australian GP comment last time I checked, or Kym Ilman, literally a fellow Aussie who he talks to at every single race and who left a heartfelt comment. we need to give this poor guy a break and not ignore how much he was laughing and smiling with Lando just bc he’s struggling with the alerts on his phone !! (and as always, we have absolutely no way of knowing anymore when we can say how much the driver is doing vs what their sm team is doing. I saw in a story the other day that Lily had stopped doing her usual emoji replies to his posts for a while (she started up again after quali this weekend) and clearly there's been no issues between them so it's safe to say Oscar's sm officially isn't the true measure of his current relationships!)

- Lando and Oscar were already joking and smiling together before the champagne! so why would Lando then get mad and show it by not spraying him first? (EDIT: as an anon pointed out, when Lando runs over to the McLaren team member Oscar is laughing and follows him! so the plan was to drown the poor guy all along lol.) Lando and Lewis have a special bond from long before Oscar and Lewis and McLaren have had a bond even longer. if I hadn't seen ppl be upset about this I wouldn't have thought twice about Lando running to Lewis after having spend the first half the podium chatting to Oscar!

and just a quick side note, Lando had NO problem showing how mad he was before Oscar came into the cool down room when he threw down that hat and got huffy with Lewis when all Lewis did was say how fast the McLaren is! but every time Lando interacted with Oscar, he made sure to keep it together and be happy for him bc as he strenuously made clear in his interviews, his upset was at the team's directions but he didn't want it overshadowing Oscar's well-earned win. so if anything, view Lando rushing over to Lewis as an apology for somewhat biting his head off over a compliment lfgjflgsalf

- the drivers are exhausted and their default mode after a race is to be not smiling, like not even Lando smiled the entire time following his win. add to today that Lando hasn't been happy with second place for a long time and Oscar isn't an effusive guy and it's weird to think they'd be laughing and smiling nonstop.

- cool down rooms are literally always awkward ?? the drivers hate that there are cameras and conversation is always stilted. it’s where they go to … y'know, cool down, not get hyped lol

- Lando thanked Oscar in Miami bc Oscar showed what the car could do w his overtakes, guys. it was VERY sweet but it wasn't like 'thank you for my life Oscar' or even 'thank you for my win'. but even apart from that, Lando has fully taken on the rightful 'I'm the more established F1 star and the face of McLaren and it's my job to let the new guy know when he's done well' even back before he and Oscar had much of a relationship. but… and I’m about to spin off on this topic now… Lando does very well with this sometimes yes, but remember that the majority of his own feeds are also solely focused on himself like Oscar's and like most driver's are! and that he and Oscar both forget to like McLaren's content most of the time!

but also like……….

please let us please remember Oscar has the same rights to putting himself first as every other driver !! he may be remarkably mature and respectful to Lando and McLaren and exceptionally able to get over being set aside or even screwed over, but he's not a worm!

as far as questioning if him not 'thanking' Lando somehow negates his literally non-stop hearteyes-so-blatant-that-casuals-comment-on-it that he has for Lando every single week... guys.. Lily. like I'm positive he'll make a special post or story with her soon but he only said a quick "hi" to Lily after Ted brought her up and then did a generic thank you to everyone LIKE ?? the guy isn't even effusive about his beloved long time gf !! his love language is not in words* !!

but I also feel the need to bring smth up here bc there is a definite lean happening in some quarters of fandom into fully expecting and taking for granted Oscar's patience and maturity and ability to be happy for Lando no matter how much he's hurting or upset for himself. and I've got to raise everyone who says that the fact that Oscar is allowed to be like every other driver including Lando! he is allowed to feel frustrated or not be a perfect saint! in the earlier part of last year, Lando openly said he was uncomfortable being 'the older guy' and he frequently left Oscar in the lurch not knowing where to go or ignored Oscar to talk to or about his previous teammates. when Oscar hadn't been told the correct time for that major meeting shown in DTS, Lando was not hiding feeling fairly smug after Oscar said "is Lando already here?" and in Australia this year, Lando fully forgot to have anything to do with Oscar in what was literally Oscar’s home town and home country race to the point ! that in the podium drivers conference when a reporter brought up if Oscar was bummed about missing out on a podium, Lando stiffly said that he guessed anyone would want a podium on their home race - but he was far from sympathetic!

now before anyone thinks this is me having a go at Lando, I am not. I'm literally reminding the people who are reading too much into Oscar not saying thank you specifically to Lando in what was a much shorter and less exuberant overall race win celebration and post race video than Lando’s win was: it is not a big deal !! it is not some huge thing that Lando would even notice and that Lando has frequently chosen to not include or show gratitude to Oscar at times when we expected him to and !! it's fine because it really is fine !! 

but when Oscar is seen to not cover every single base of gratitude and inclusion for Lando, for some fans it's A Problem or A Worry. and for some people, a broader thank you to the team and not specifically to Lando** is reason why Lando should despise Oscar forever and even consider leaving McLaren like the comments sections are insaaaane bro

these are two Normal Guys who are each living their Own Careers and while it's wonderful to enjoy the things that bond them and are special about them, they are still going to be Normal! and they will not view these tiny insignificant moments where they didn’t fully acknowledge the other with any magnitude at all! they are not expecting a level of devotion to each other that certain fans are! Oscar didn’t notice or care that Lando didn’t make anything special out of his home race and their pre-race fan stage was funny and sweet! Lando didn’t notice or even assume that Oscar should thank him specifically for team orders when Lando himself didn’t thank Oscar for team orders!

like I just cannot emphasize enough the importance of separating fun rpf narratives from reality. Lando tried to mess up Carlos’ parking job before the race as a joke to get back at him over the sign the day before - and then Carlos very firmly said that Lando absolutely should have given Oscar his place back and he even commented on one of Oscar’s posts despite not following him. this does not mean Carlos and Lando are beefing or that Carlos is being mean by going out of his way for Oscar! will I run with that single comment for carcar fodder absolutely - but that is fiction! nobody's mad at anybody!

and then there's the things that don't exist in Formula 1: "Oscar shouldn't have accepted the orders" "McLaren are out to get Lando" "Lando already gets too much hate"

- Oscar apologized for his pace and complications and he gave a very subdued little speech over the radio which was very big of him (and very wrong of McLaren to put him in that position) but if someone thinks any driver including Lando would even slightly imply "nah give the win to my teammate not me" then they’re categorically living on another plane of stan-ism that I can't comprehend. Lando literally said multiple times after this race how he has been the one to benefit from strategy working in his favor - both by McLaren and other teams. he's many many times made a cheeky face or made a joke when he's gotten away with something that fans of a rival driver or team were rightfully furious about. and if a person thinks it was mean when some ppl criticized the role that serendipity played in Miami then maybe that same person shouldn't start biting chunks out of Oscar about the same thing idk !!

Lando repeatedly said how much Oscar has done for him and if his Oscar-hating stans choose to think he's wrong or lying then idk !! he's being mature and fair so like, live n learn from your idol !

and can I just echo everyone saying 'please stop comparing this to brocedes or sebmark' or honestly even charlos? I'm doing bullet lists apparently so I'll do another one lafgljsafgsa

- brocedes is entirely due to their complicated and abnormally intimate lifelong history together leading up to F1. they were already Not Normal Friends and that made for the tinderbox that was their F1 careers together. literally they were destined to have to rupture that level of intimacy if they weren't going to just like get married to each other. they always needed to turn that relationship into something milder and less intense and it would always have exploded no matter what adult lives they had. F1 just made the explosion more violent and public. there’s truly no comparing them with anyone else.

- Oscar bears no resemblance to Mark and Lando bears no resemblance to Seb. Seb as he was in his heyday was... not shy or bashful about being a madman. sebmark never once looked like landoscar and it wasn't this huge revelation that that relationship would end up where it did !!

- Charles and Carlos have a negligible career/experience gap compared to Lando and Oscar and their temperaments are as much primed for friction as Lando and Oscar's are complimentary to each other. not to like 'they're so continental!' charlos but like, their already passionate natures got thrown into a rolling boil of Italian heritage racing and it's why the whole love/hate being sides of the same coin thing always happens with them. their families are even houses alike in dignity etc etc. it's Pure Drama and Intensity and always has been, both good and bad. they’re as terrible at using PR to smooth things over as landoscar are at not even bothering with PR. when Charles and Carlos are good together they’re passionately all over each other and when they’re mad at each other it’s messy and all over the press like a warring celebrity couple. Lando and Oscar are still delicately pawing at their relationship to know what it is and they still shyly touch as if seeking permission. Lando and Oscar are so not PR friendly that even Netflix gave up on them as a narrative entirely. Charles and Carlos are Shakespeare. Lando and Oscar are Jane Austen. Ferrari is the Capulet/Montague pride before the fall. McLaren is Mrs. Bennett trying to social climb using her daughters as bait.

as someone who follows blogs for multiple diff teams and drivers, trust me I see a lot of "my opinion of him is gone forever after this!!!" about something their own fave driver did even just a few races ago and absolutely will do again. same with "the team is destroying him and favoring his teammate!" like I straight up will see that said by each teammate's fanbase of the same team about the same race. this happens at different times throughout the season in every single team I follow - it even happened w Williams of all teams (tho so far that's just the once).

I'm a fake so obv I'm not going to weigh in myself but my cousins and their friends who watch F1 on the app at my house - and who aren't represented ethnically by any driver or team so they don't have bias - always have a much more calm and nuanced take. they assume every driver is out for themselves and by that very fact alone, teams have to take sides when the gap closes. and !! that millionaires doing an elite sport aren't experiencing mental distress over this sport the way common people experience distress over real life !! they go and bury their "woes" in extravagant luxury and an entire army of hugely biased family, supporters and fanbases all of whom think said driver deserves everything.

and that it takes truly heinous betrayal or outright evil to make these guys hate each other with any serious level of depth bc they all know they're The Selfish Asshole just as easily as the other guy. 

so I personally trust their takes on things and it's probably why I've always assumed Lando and Oscar would be Normal and have their little tiffs like everyone else does. bc it's rule one of making it to this level of the sport that you have to think selfishly. straight up I'm astounded at how quickly they've both been able to shake that 'visors down' mentality that Andrea referenced in the post race video and see the bigger picture and not be The Asshole to each other. 

and overall I don’t mind my dash being a warzone of wild accusations immediately after a race bc everyone usually calms down.

but there are certain things I just do not want on my dash and it's actually not related to what driver a person hates or not....

because while it's silly to see any of these privileged little princes as A Victim and Would Never Do That To Their Teammate (which would honestly get you laughed at by said driver) it's pretty common biased fan behavior. even tho Lando literally kept reminding people that Oscar's swallowed his own pride over things for Lando's benefit many times and that he (Lando) has been on the receiving end of podiums that came from strategies working in his favor (McLaren’s and that of other teams).

and like the idea that Oscar is now some heinous human being bc he's behaving like every other driver including Lando by Lando's own admission is hysterical. the idea that F1 teams are ever in any way benevolent kindly forces or that F1 drivers have anything akin to 'selflessness' over race wins is hysterical.

but where I draw a line is stanning for men in this sport so hard to the point of insane amounts of agonized doomposting and biased venomous rage. sorry but most of us don't want our precious time wasted agonizing over which self-confessed selfish millionaire in a sport founded on and maintained by pure elitism is feeling So Bad and So Sad! that he runs off to be comforted by a beautiful woman/women and adoring family and coddling hangers-on and legions of worshiping, wholly biased fans and millions of dollars on gigantic yachts because the absurdly unnecessary sport he gets to do isn't "looking after him well enough" or "prioritizing his happiness" !!!!?????? 

like fuck I'm a callous bitch ig but I'm not feeling an ounce of genuine upset whenever one of these men experiences a level of "my sport makes me sad". "oh but it's all they've known !! it's all relative !! money and privilege don’t equal happiness and privileged men suffer too !!" oh stfu no it doesn't and no they're not like stockholm syndrom victims and if they're so unhappy then they can put on their big boy boots and take their money and go fucking do something else holy SHITTTTT 

am I not here for allowing any portion of my human empathy to go to a fuuucCKING F1 driver jeeeeeeesusss. all of these men fully have the potential to get metoo’d or exposed about smth bc they're all capable of doing awful things by the time they're in F2 -male pro athletes are NOT objectively safe spaces to hang human morality or to assign automatic grace and good intent - let alone bleed pain or feel sadness for their race results or issues with their teams.

there is no acceptable moral relativity for me and these men and this sport are only of interest to me as a hyperfixation that gives me enjoyment in the form of narratives and a very specific, surface degree of enjoyment.

it’s fine if Lando or Oscar feel their feelings of frustration or anger etc but no way in hell am I going to feel remotely sad for them ??? they’re fine ?? there are genuinely sad things in my life and in the world and millionaires wanting trophies and points isn’t among them !! I’m not entwining my day-to-day happiness in any way with what they get up to and I’ll take what I can enjoy from them and ignore everything else.

and to wrap up this epic which I’m only indulging in bc I do feel like my blog sometimes seems like I’m pushing my own silly narratives on others and genuinely I’m not intending to - most of the reason I actually got drawn to landoscar and wanted to engage in fandom about them is precisely because their real life non-rpf dynamic is so unusually mature and considerate and not toxic or like, at all even overtly masculine. yea I originally got drawn into f1blr for the usual bromance rpf types like carland0 and dand0 etc but I didn’t rly care enough to engage in any way. 

but I think this is why I know that the ppl wanting Lando and Oscar to become this insane toxic mess are going to keep raging with disappointment - kind of like how I knew Lando and Max would be perfect again after just a few days while so many ppl hoped it was the start of some battle royale to last years that would end their close friendship. and why I knew Logan and Alex would end up with a genuine, heartfelt friendship when so many ppl assumed Alex would see Logan as one foot out the door and just wait to bond with a more worthy teammate. now we’ve got Alex saying how he and Lily casually talk about Logan for no reason at all and their friendship surviving Alex being given Logan’s car <3

I genuinely don’t bullshit myself into enjoying dynamics unless they feel real - so whatever friction I ever sense between Lando and Oscar as a result of them pushing each other to be the best they can be and helping to bring McLaren from the back of the field to WCC contender, isn’t at odds with them being gentle and unusually private and earnestly aware of each other. bromances were always Lando’s PR insurance with his other two teammates - a nice bandaid to cover moments where cracks showed or Lando didn’t hide his emotions enough. it’s something a lot of teammates use for the same purpose. but Lando and Oscar deciding to forgo that and have their little privacy door to shut out everyone else but each other from their drivers rooms, and how they will be doing interviews and then get distracted talking to each other over things that only interest them, and traveling and hanging out together without giving McLaren PR any material to use… like that’s a lovely, tender little unpretentious narrative to enjoy. watching them tiptoe so cautiously around an almighty cockup on McLaren’s pitwall side and Lando trying to pull himself up out of murky defeat for Oscar and Oscar deciding to celebrate so modestly because what a mess that ending was for them both. 

like I just don’t see a need for trying to invent ways to be unhappy or miserable or fabricate a doomed anything when they’re both still so sweet <3 <3 (and honestly it’s the same old tune of McLaren’s strategy needing a swift smack around the head)

tysm babe and I hope this one helped as well <3<3

[wi55iams]

📕More Cruise AU. MORE. <3

Ok FINE. IF YOU INSIST i wanna talk about it so so bad actually please send more asks people ty

Hiding under cut cause its long ahdkdl

As established we have Captain Alonso and Entertainment host Lance. But ofc the entire grid have got to be here

Charles, Carlos and George are all third officers. Which means they take it in turn to stand on the bridge and drive. George is always sucking up to the higher ups cause he wants a promotion really really badly but he also is the best at his job. Carlos and Charles start constant debates about 'interpretation of the colregs' and 'your knowledge of the rules' and spend most of their time passive aggresively flirting and not doing their jobs.

KMag, Hulkenberg and Valterri are the higher ranking officers. Kmag and Nico have both been passed over for promotions and are at each others necks in a sexual and violent way. Valterri is the first officer for passage planning. Which means he sits at the computer and draws lines on charts all day and doesnt get involved with that bullshit

I want Max to be a prodigy still so he's Chief officer. He organises all the maintenace and is Fucking Done with the 50 situationships ocurring around him

Saftey and Staff captain... Im gonna make Staff Nico Rosberg because holy shit him being second in command to Fernando is hilarious. And just second in command at all really. Also means he can have a good brocedes dynamic with lewis

Saftey officrr is Mark Webber. Someone has to make sure all the injuries these chucklefucks get are recorded and organise the weekly drills. He and Fernando went through boat school together... they were close... he doesnt like Nandos new boytoy very much

Thats just the deck department im still going

Alex, Lando, Logan, Lance, and Esteban are all entertainers. Lando I imagine would be a dancer doing backflips on stage, Logan a sensual operatic singer, and the remainder hosts for the various events onboard. Lando and Carlos meet up frequently in the crew bar to get drunk after work.

Daniel is the Cruise Director who the passengers fucking love hes hilarious and makes time for anyone who talks to him and his organised entertainment is very good.

Pierre is the DJ/sound technician for the stage and he and Esteban have had. A thing.

Lewis is the Hotel Director. It doesnt sound like an important job but its one of the most important on any cruise ships because hotel = guests = money so the hotel has to be banger. Lewis rules the hotel department with a patient yet iron fist. He and Staff captain Rosberg frequently butt heads.

Zhou I struggled with but I think he'd make a nice nurse in the medical department! Good at remaining well spoken and chill in the face of passengers complaining.

Yuki is absolutely the head chef running his restaurant, he is ordering 3000 cooks around constantly and he NEEDED THAT LAMB DONE FIVE MINUTES AGO-

Oscar is the ETO, which is basically an electrician. Keeps out of the way of the bullshit but has no choice to listen to Carlos whine about Charles while he fixes the screen they broke

Checo is an engineer cause he also doesnt partake in grid drama. He waits for the bridge to call him to tell him to press the on button for the engines. Chats with Osc about how #crazy everyone else is

And finally we have Seb and Kimi... who dont work on the ship. They are retired mariners. Seb now works as an instructor at an academy part time and also a marine pilot for a nearby port. Kimi works on a tugboat at that same port. They are gay married and frequently recieve texts from their good friends Fernando and Mark about what whacky bullshit is happening now

[hertwood]

dts s3 e1-3

e1: -i'm glad that i /have/ seen lawrence stroll outside of his businessman mode (chloes wedding pictures came to mind) because i'm SURE he's a kind n lovely guy but holy cow -otmar has littlefingercore advisor to the king energy. i'll say it. -lance is very adorable bbgirl here if i became a fan in 2020 i would've been easily convinced -lando is so LIL im so excited to see more of him~ -[lando squeals] subtitle is always so funny to me. print that on a t shirt -the pink mercedes drama is So Juicy 2 me i wish i was there 2 see it -this poor mclaren man trying to spoonfeed lando pr friendly sentences -cash is king? cash is king. is SO iconic 2 me. the sport is not the same w/o sewis

e2: -christian wants to fuck toto soooooo bad its embarrassing its the end of a multimonth quarantine and ur like when can i tease my work enemy again?? embarassing -the urge to put alex getting deepthroated by that covid swab in my next gifset lmaooooooo -favorite part of christian/toto dynamic is christian will talk SOOOO much shit in front of the camera but when hes talkin to toto he's like *head craned up at a 50 degree angle* hey how ya doin -first time i watched this "DAS" as an acronym threw me off So Bad bc it's also used to describe a tetris playstyle (delayed auto shift). still really throws me off alkdjfaklsdjskjla -HI MICHELLE YEOH'S HUSBAND -"against a mercedes team that is so strong, so dominant, you have to exploit every opportunity you possibly can" hi christian i hope you respect this mindset when the tables are turned! (he wont) -love lando celebrating his p3 start (face down ass up) -being hyped up abt a potential first alex win while knowing how it ends is PAINFUL -also contextualizes alex's anger around checo only getting a 5 second penalty in singapore this year, and hes right!!! its not fucking enough -lando's first podium is so SO special tho!! and netflix do an amazing job with it with the shots of the garage going nuts and the music swelling its just incredible -and the contrast with alex's missed podium is so well done narratively. another very great episode from a writing/editing standpoint

e3: -age old mercedes driver right of passage: listening to lewis sing next door -having watched the brawn docuseries now--i think there are some interesting parallels between valtteri&lewis vs rubens&michael. theyre very different people but how many others have had that experience with a teammate like that? -always LOVE the bits with valtteri in finland my soul yearns for scandanavia -BROCEDES INTERLUDE AAAAAAAAAAAAAA -i do like these lil bits about time penalties explained in episodes because before watching races you really underestimate how much they can effect races. i'm looking forward to seeing netflix continue to use these instances for drama (especially season 4 max v lewis 👀) -TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN. FUCK YOU

[vro0m]

Hi Vr0m all-knowing moon-deity. What do you mean Lewis became sexier post-brocedes. As in that whole drama was the catalyst (at least in part) of him going "fuck it we ball" w his self expression, or is just that the timeline worked like that ( or a bit of many different factors).

Sorry if this is a weird ask, the man's public persona is an enigma to me (as in very interesting in its evolution over time) and I love ur opinions

thanks!!!!

Damn I'm only a human anon

I mentioned it more as a timeline thing than as a catalyst. It was at some point between then and now that he started to feel comfortable enough to drop whatever act he had going on back then.

[lesharl-eclair]

ok so i dont usually do this but this luminous essay (!!) by @russilton deserves this post i think (it has been living rent free in my head for like 2 nights)

it *is* quite anti nico but it made me reevaluate my entire perception of brocedes etc etc. a little paradigm shifting if you will. (disclaimer is that the merc guys aren't my blorbos so feel free to ignore all the nonsense im spouting i am extremely unqualified to talk about this)

i made this poll bcs brocedes and britcedes are the antitheses of each other to me (vibe, attitude towards each other, press conferences etc) & honestly didn't expect that such a large majority picked brocedes. i thought it would be quite balanced for some reason (haha..)

personally i picked brocedes bcs they have a special place in my heart (2014-2016. the drama. the rivalry) and maybe it was also a dynamic that appealed to a teenage angst-seeking self? it was one of the things that really got me into f1 rpf (which in hindsight yikes...) anyway it was just something that had so much complexity and potential to me. maybe in that moment, at that age, i didn't realise just how toxic it was (and maybe part of the problem is that it was entertaining to some degree.)

and then after nico it was valtteri and i don't know. valewis is great, it's chill but there's just this inherent imbalance, maybe even resignation? valtteri and a whole slew of second places? winless seasons in a dominant car??? for some reason i couldn't and didn't enjoy it as much as brocedes. of course if we're really talking about who would be healthy for lewis then the answer is clear but in the absence of the Drama it felt a little flavourless.

by the time britcedes came along i was like "i'm not going to enjoy this if they're not equals" and then. i was promptly distracted by strollonso. which is ?????????? even MORE inherently unbalanced than valewis. so i literally have no idea what i'm talking about

i also think that the merc, coming into a period of practically unstoppable rb domination, has maybe levelled the playing field a lot in terms of expectations. like britcedes is no longer fighting for wins, now they're fighting for podiums. or like. top 5. ???. george *has* outperformed lewis on several occasions. lewis has matured. maybe more things are celebrated. (toto where are the upgrades1!!11!!! where!!!11) so it's not to say that there's such a drastic drastic difference in skill level or george resigning himself to the second driver mentality. george is capable of holding his own in races and he's a brilliant driver etc. he has that spark there in him and that could make things very very interesting.

i see a lot of things saying that george idolises lewis (i actually don't know how true that is) and maybe that formed part of my aversion/unconscious avoidance towards the ship. but i must admit that it is very nice to see lewis being appreciated and a relationship where they actually enjoy (!) each other. of course their story isn't over yet so yes!! there is a lot of promise i think, to britcedes.

i'm at a point in my life where there's a certain appeal to wholesome things maybe (after like 5 years of ferwis and brocedes and martian...........) when i see brocedes content on my dash it usually makes my heart ache but britcedes content always always makes me smile. maybe strollonso has made me see that there can also be a kind of beauty in imbalanced relationships. ofc britcedes is nowhere near as extreme as that, but idk. it's something i am at least willing to watch with interest.

i am genuinely intrigued. the two ships could not be more different (write me essays in the tags <3)

rb for larger sample size etc etc :)

[mistressemmedi]

I’m not saying Herta is not a good driver, because he should be at this point considering all the teams that want him. But Pato has more points on his license because he finished higher in the Indy’s championship in the past 3yrs. Him not being considered for F1 (Zak Brown tried last year, they said nope and it ended that way) but Herta is, it’s because of his passport.

Btw what I really can’t understand is why Alpine wants the “Brocedes remake” (but make it french) 😅

Btw what I really can’t understand is why Alpine wants the “Brocedes remake” (but make it french) 😅 <- because they went through the daily struggle of having Fernando "Drama" Alonso as part of the team and realized that cannot survive with some sort of entertainment, so they decided to go with french on french violence for the next season at Alpine.

Also, french sponsors but not too sure about that really 😂

[engineers-curry]

I started watching f1 in 2015 and I have a thing for both brocedes and sewis and I created my little modern kingdom au for comfort. Lewis being married to Nico and it was supposed to be strategic marriage but they fell in love and everything was good untill they fell apart (2016). They remained married but it was a public secret that Lewis is closer to their chancellor Sebastian, then to his husband. And they are very close but it's only platonic. So there is a love triangle where Lewis and Nico have to be together but Seb has his own family aside, and he is still very close to Lewis. Naturally there is alot of angst, uresolved problems, drama, and jelousy. Then one day Nico tells Lewis he'd like to have kids, and Lewis is lost. Like he wants to have family and the only way is to be with Nico. He thinks it would be unfair to Seb, but then again he has his own family. Nico wants family with Lewis, but wants Lewis' complete loyalty. Seb is aware that he can't be mad at Lewis, but part of him is scared that he'll lose him forever.

Ngl that sounds amazing but damn you're making Lewis struggle 😭😭

But there's so much potential for angst, I'm absolutely loving it!! Especially if Lewis wants kids and Seb has a family but then only Nico is the possible solution to getting them... poor him honestly 😭

[starsandnines]

childishbxmbino replied to your post “So recently I promised that I would share my new brocdes “headcanon”...”

I may be new to f1 but when i leart about the brocedes drama obviously i had to look in to it! This is what struck me aswell, Lewis is always civil with his rivals (alonso, vettel etc) and the pain is always fresher when its someone close to you who has hurt you. They went on holidays together! So i agree 100% with you especially with the mum anology you used - i see that all the time with people, hell i do it too. Thanks for writing this down, alot of people in this...

Thank you I’m glad that you agree with everything especially the part about Lewis’ rivals. I feel like that’s the key to everything. I think the one thing that hurts Lewis most is the fact that this fight happened to be with Nico. That’s what people need to consider and realize when he talks a bit harshly about Nico. 

[screwdriver-and-souffle]

Not really? To me, the most important part of brocedes is that they are childhood friends meanwhile Vale is more than ten years older than Marc and Marc hero-worshipped him because Vale is one of the best riders ever.

The thing is Vale is kind of bastard on the track (they both are, bless) and he was ruthless to his competitors that actually threatened him, he was the king of mind games and it was awesome while also being a little jester man and incredibly charming, he wasn't friendly with great riders and then comes Marc who is great and look at him with stars in the eyes, would be a great time to start with the mind games for Vale, right? No

Vale likes him, for a couple of years, they are always together at races, always giggling between themselves and being all over each other ("Marc is very friendship, wanna stay very close, always touching." cit. Valentino Rossi) Vale took him to his ranch and this man likes to have a small, tight circle and to defend the little privacy he has.

And then, 2015 happened and Vale built a conspiracy in his head that he lost because to him, Marc was helping Jorge win bc of nationality over him and how dare him, he liked him! Vale was incredibly hurt Marc was blindsided bc to him he just raced and that was Vale and he loved him and also incredibly hurt.

Rosquez divorce has also had worse ramifications because all in all, the sport has moved on from brocedes, the pundits do not bring up their relationship all the time if someone talks about Lewis.

in MotoGP the Rosquez divorce is still the hottest story and discussed ALL THE TIME still even in unrelated topics maybe because Vale has his academy boys on the grid and he owns a team so even if he retired he's still there a lot and the break up influences the paddock politics still (like, at least one of his boys treat Marc with a degree of contempt that it's not warranted from their actual interactions but, most probably, bc the boy is Vale's golden boy) and, for some reason that still baffles me to this day, While Lewis avoids even saying Nico's name and that does a lot to not remind the average fan of their story, Vale and Marc don't block questions about each other in the press when they could, they have the power to veto topics at least with their country's press if they wanted, but they don't block them so the journos ask them about what they think of the other's everything.

They continuously pick on the rosquez shaped wound they bear and the average Motogp fan has to think about their relationship a lot because it's still front and center, if you don't know the lore you are not going to understand a number of the paddock's current politics/drama/relationships meanwhile I doubt that people that aren't shipper or a huge Nico's fans think about brocedes much.

So, yes, to me they are fairly different

Okay, idk if someone can answer this for me, but I saw a drawing of them and remembered someone on tumblr who made a whole powerpoint about motogp, I don't follow it but I do remember something about Marc Marquez (that everyone seems to be in love with) and Valentino Rossi being friends and then hating eachother.

Now I'm wondering, is this Brocedes but make it motogp? Or is it a whole different story???

[vro0m]

vro0m’s rewatch - 116/304

2013 Monaco GP

Okayyy today we're watching the worst race of the season aka MONACO

Massa and Grosjean (twice) ended up in the barriers, already.

Oh dear, there's a new controversy. What now. Apparently after the Spanish GP, Mercedes did a 1'000km test. Pirelli allowed them to do so I guess to understand the tyres better but it's illegal according to the FIA. Merc says the FIA signed off on it and that another team did that earlier in the year (who?). A meeting is happening. Lauda says they've been asked by Pirelli to do the test, they asked the FIA if they were allowed to do it, they said yes and he thinks other teams have been asked too. Honestly I understand the issue but if the FIA said they could do it, it's on the FIA and not on Merc. Lauda says one of them has tested earlier in the season (WHO?). Damon Hill says what they did wrong is that, as the team who struggled the most with the tyres in Barcelona, they somehow managed to get picked by pirelli to do the test. Brundle says it's impossible to do testing in Barcelona without people noticing because there's a hotel overlooking the track etc. and so why didn't they come out earlier and say it happened rather than try to hide it? Also he says it can only have been "premeditated" because such a test involves a lot of logistics. They agree Pirelli has to ameliorate the degradation of the tyres and lessen the risk of delamination and so they have work to do but they did it with one team. 

Ted says Redbull is one of the teams who are vehemently protesting what happened because Mercedes has protested many things they did before so they're trying to heat the issue up. (Is that where it all started?) Ferrari is also pissed. They're trying to get Lotus to join them but they don't want to take part in it. (Apparently last time they protested something Redbull didn't back them up.) McLaren are partners with Mercedes so they're not saying anything, even though the partnership is about to end as McLaren moves to the Honda engine. It's like children in school drama isn't it? 

Quali report. It was wet! Massa didn't take part in it, he crashed quite heavily in FP and the team couldn't get the car back in shape in time. Grosjean made mistakes 3 times during practice, touching the wall twice, he didn't make it into Q3. Seb thought they could challenge the Mercedes but he made mistakes and he's 3rd, ahead of Webber, Raikkonen and Alonso. Both McLarens in Q3 for the first time since Malaysia. It seems Jenson had a fuel pump issue and he's only 9th, though. Lewis wasn't happy with his setup during the FPs, and he's 2nd, while Rosberg got his 3rd pole in a row. But well… I'll wait and see how they do during the race before getting happy about it. 

Pinkham asks Lewis if he thinks they can get a 1-2 in the race. He says it's gonna be tough but he's excited, he just hopes to get a good race. He says it's the most special GP to win apart from your home GP, but it's also the most difficult race to win so when you do win and get to meet the Prince it's the “crème de la crème”. 

Now we hear Redbull has lodged a protest against the whole Mercedes testing thing. 

OH MY GOD BABY ROSCOE?!

They are in cars, each with a journalist. So at this point Lewis has been living in Monaco for a year. He says he loves it "I was literally so bored in Switzerland" (😭😭😭 yeah look, we have other qualities).

The journalist says he has his team-mate as a neighbour now. Ah here we go with the brocedes installment. Lewis says sometimes when he doesn't have food he just goes upstairs and knocks on his door. They're talking about how extremely difficult Monaco is. Rosberg, in his car, is asked if he's the jetski king and he says yes I am. Then they see Natalie Pinkham getting in a wetsuit and Lewis says she looks good in it. His journalist says yeah too bad you're not with her, and he tells him he’s with the other guy who's there. Ah they are actually going jetskiing. Nobody explains anything in these broadcasts damn.

Of course, Lewis immediately sprays Nico and starts laughing like an actual maniac while Nico gets water off his sunglasses.

But well, then Nico does the same thing to the skysports crew, so. Then Natalie Pinkham is riding behind Nico and he makes her jump for some reason?! They're supposed to be racing but everybody forgot to check the time. I'm very confused about the rules of this race, they really literally didn’t explain one thing, but whatever. Lewis does the same thing with Brundle?

Anyway Lewis lost. 

Now Ross Brawn says they weren't secretive about the testing, as while they were setting up for it all the other teams were still there. He also believes that it wasn't their responsibility to communicate on the test as the test was a request from Pirelli. He says they didn't try any upgrades or anything like that ; they did what Pirelli wanted which was a constant car, as consistent as possible. 

Oh. Oh. Seriously. What’s with that haircut?

I do not like it. 

Formation lap 

Bianchi is being pushed off the grid, the car has an issue. He’ll start form the pitlane

And they're racing! 

Oooh Lewis almost overtook Nico but it's so narrow here. Yellow flags, there's been something at the back. Seb is attacking Lewis, but he locks up. Contact in the midfield in the hairpin. A McLaren just cut the chicane as they are racing each other again. 

At the end of the first lap, Rosberg is still in the lead followed by Lewis, Seb, Webber, Raikkonen, Alonso, Perez, Jenson, Sutil, and JEV. Maldonado pits. Van Der Garde also pits as he lost his front wing. Seb attacks Lewis again who swerves back and forth to defend which is supposedly not allowed. And then they all go on tyre saving mode. We might reach record levels of boredom. 

Almost 10 laps in, it's an engine fire for Pic. So most probably a Safety Car. No. Actually not. 

20 laps in. The Mercedes boys are finally told they can pick up the pace a little bit. Webber pits. Raikkonen pits. Jenson pits. It's a bit earlier than they all hoped for, as they're trying to stop only once. Massa pits. Still nothing in the top 5. Ah yep! Alonso pits. 

30 laps in, we have yellow flags? Ohhh Massa crashed. Perez pits, Lewis sets the fastest lap. Apparently Massa crashed in the exact same way he did in FP3. Seb pits. It's a Safety Car, the first of 2013, actually. Surely now the Mercedes will pit? The Safety Car has picked up Seb, but the Mercs are still running free. We see Massa sitting surrounded by marshals and medics who are putting him in a foam neck brace. Grosjean pits. Maldonado pits. Rosberg is in. Lewis is in. It worked well for Rosberg who is still on the lead. But for some reason the Safety Car has released the Redbulls who went around the track and Lewis finds himself behind them. It's confusing I don't understand why they did that. 

40 laps in. Lewis attacks Webber! Oof it was close. Perez overtook Jenson after Alonso made contact with him. Maldonado crashed after contact with Chilton. Red flag. The barriers are dislodged and in the middle of the track, they need repairs. They're all getting new tyres I think. I mean it would be stupid not to. 

Ah, now Toto is Mercedes' executive director. 

Alonso is told he'll need to give back a position to Perez because he left the track to avoid contact with him and it's a "would he have not retained position if he hadn't done so" type of situation. 

The cars are back on the track behind the safety car. Perez is allowed to overtake Alonso. And Safety Car in. Lewis attacks Webber again. 

Lap 50. Lewis is still putting Webber under pressure. His tyres are starting to suffer. 

Lap 60. Bianchi DNF after a slight crash. And Grosjean crashed into Ricciardo. We see a slow-mo, Crofty says "that's Grosjean behind Ricciardo he's just gone… launched himself over the rear" in a surprised tone of voice. Brundle glumly says "he worries me that boy". (Remember when he said "he doesn't seem spatially aware of his car" in 2012? Lmao.) So that's another Safety Car. Nico almost ran over a pigeon. Here they go again. It looks exactly like it has looked since lap 1 (except Lewis isn’t P2 anymore, so actually worse).

Lap 70. And it had to happen, as Perez was racing very daringly since the start : contact with Raikkonen. He got squeezed between him and the barrier. Raikkonen pits. Contact between the two McLarens. That was weird. 

And it's the end of the race thank GOD 

Rosberg wins, Seb P2, Webber P3, Lewis P4.

Lewis confirms what Toto said at some point which is they didn’t ask him to hold back, he decided to hold back. He says actually he was told he needed a 6 second gap and maybe it was a bit more than that. And that's why he ended up behind after the pit stop. He congratulates Nico and the team. He just has to keep working harder. Pinkham asks how tough it is because it looked like bad luck. He says it doesn't put it down to bad luck, he just wasn't good enough this weekend. That's all. You can tell he doesn't wanna talk.