#his little show off arc around experts who should already be the best

[suguruuuuu-chan]

Once again, I love my darling. But why did they ask Sanji to help bake the cake? He's not a specialist. They knew they had other chefs helping (the ones who made the first cake and know how it's supposed to be). They had Chiffons and Puddings specialties to save the day. Why this random guy whose baking they've never tried before???

As the audience, we love to see it. Thematically the arc ends with his expertise and love of cooking/making food. But Sanji?? And when he says thanks for helping with the cake or something?? To Pudding and Chiffon. Shut up and sit down :(

YOU helped with the cake

[fridayfirefly]

Fairest of the Fair

Read Fairest of the Fair on AO3

Masterlist

Written for Maribat March Day 9 - Teen Titans

"We've got five hours until the fair closes. That's five hours of funnel cake, Ferris wheels, and rigged carnival games," announced Dick as they stepped out of the car in the parking lot of the Jump City Fair. It was a tradition for the Teen Titan team to visit the fair every year. At first, it had been an effort to humanize them to the citizens of Jump City, to show that they were more than just superheroes. Now, the reason that the team went every year was simply that it was fun.

"I can't wait to try everything." Marinette had been looking forward to the Jump City Fair all summer. It was her very first American fair, and Gar had promised that he would show her around, giving her the full fair experience.

"C'mon, I smell funnel cake." Gar grabbed Marinette's hand as they ran through the crowds.

Marinette laughed. "I was coming with you, you don't need to pull me along."

Gar let go of her hand and pouted. "We need to get there faster. Just think of all the funnel cake we're missing out on while we're standing around talking."

"We can still hurry. I just don't want to run into anyone." Marinette giggled as she followed Gar through the crowd. He wove in between the crowds of people like an expert, scampering right through the chaos of the fair crowds without disturbing a single person. Marinette found it a little more difficult - she was much less nimble than Gar, but every time she fell behind he waited for her to catch up.

"I followed the smell of funnel cake right to its source and here we are." Gar stopped in front of a food stand proclaiming itself to be All-American Funnel Cake. "This is the best cuisine America has to offer."

"Of course. Everyone knows that the greatest American delicacies are carnival food. Who needs gourmet crêpes and macaroons when you can have funnel cake and corn dogs?" joked Marinette.

"Exactly. I'll order our food, you find us a seat."

Marinette strolled through the seating area, trying to find a bench that wasn't covered in syrup and melted ice cream. When she finally found a suitably clean chair, she collapsed into it. She was already sweating from the hot August sun beating down on her, and she couldn't wait to get her hands on something to drink.

"I got the funnel cake and lemonade," said Gar as he set them down on the table.

Marinette grabbed the cup of lemonade and took a long sip of it, savoring the chill. "It's so hot out here. How do you stand it?"

Gar shrugged. "It's all part of the fair experience. It's miserably hot in the day, but it still manages to get uncomfortably chilly once the sun goes down. That's why I brought a jacket."

Marinette shook her head. "If I were wearing a jacket right now, I would probably pass out from heatstroke. Your ability to withstand extreme heat must be one of your superpowers if you aren't even sweating."

"Stop talking about me and start talking about funnel cake," Gar whinged. "You came all the way to America just to try some."

Marinette laughed. "I came all the way to America to join the Teen Titans. The funnel cake is just a bonus." Taking a generous bite of the carnival food, Marinette proclaimed, "I like it."

"Yes!" Gar cheered. He pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and marked something down. "Step one: have Marinette try funnel cake. Complete."

"You have a list?"

"Your first-ever fair is an important occasion. I want to make sure you didn't miss out on anything."

Marinette smiled. "That's sweet of you. So what are we doing after this."

"After this, we play the rigged carnival games. Then we ride one of the many spinning rides. Then we'll get roasted cinnamon almonds. Then we check out some of the art competitions. Last but not least, we ride the Ferris wheel as the sun sets. Then we meet up at the car with the rest of the Titans to watch the fireworks and go home after."

"That all sounds like fun to me." Marinette finished her lemonade and funnel cake, then turned to Gar. "Ready to go lose at some carnival game?"

"I was born ready." Garfield grabbed Marinette's hand and led her to the carnival game. There was a hoop toss game, a game where you popped water balloons using oversized darts, a game of knocking down coke bottles with baseballs, something vaguely resembling ski-ball.

"Which one should I pick?" asked Marinette.

"They're all varying degrees of impossible, so just pick the game with the best prizes."

Marinette scanned the rows of colorful stuffed animals until she saw the one she wanted, on a shelf beside the ski-ball tracks. "I want the green kitten," she exclaimed, pointing.

"Why?" Gar sounded amused by her enthusiasm.

"It reminds me of you," Marinette admitted.

Gar smiled. "Okay, I'll help you win. We'll win it together."

Ski-ball was harder than Marinette remembered. After twenty minutes and twenty dollars, she and Gar still hadn't managed to get all ten ski-balls into their respective holes.

"Face it, Gar, we just aren't good enough to win."

Gar shook his head. "I'm not leaving until I win you that kitten. One more set of ski-balls." He handed a five-dollar bill to the game attendant. "Do you want the first ball?"

"Sure, but this is the last time we play. I'm not letting you spend all of our food money on this ridiculously impossible game." Marinette grabbed the first four balls off of the counter and gently rolled each one of them up into the first hole, and Gar successfully rolled the next four balls - the first eight were easy. It was the ninth and tenth ball that they failed on. "I'll take nine." Marinette brought her arm back, then swung it forward and released the ninth fall. It landed perfectly into the ninth hole. "It's all on you, Gar."

He narrowed his eyes, plucking the ball off of the counter. This was the closest they had gotten to winning. He swung the ball forward, tracking the arc with his eyes until it... landed right in the final hole.

"You did it!" Marinette cheered, grabbing Gar's hand and lifting it up in the air. "Winner!"

"Here's your green cat." The game attendant handed the stuffed toy to Marinette, who clutched it against her chest.

"I love it! I'm naming him Milo and keeping him forever."

"Alright, now that you've won your first rigged carnival game, you and Milo need to pick out one of the many rides here to try it." Gar pulled a map of the fairground out of his pocket and started pointing out rides. "I recommend the Merry-Go-Round, the Tilt-A-Whirl, and the Paratrooper."

"Which one is closest?"

"The Tilt-A-Whirl is just to the left and around the corner."

Marinette grabbed Gar's hand and pulled him along. "Let's go!"

Together they ran through crowds of people, darting around people and out of the way to avoid bumping into anyone. They made it to the Tilt-A-While and rode until Marinette got so dizzy she couldn't walk in a straight line and Gar laughed so hard his face turned red. Then Gar and Marinette made their way to the Merry-Go-Round, where they rode it a couple of times. Then they met up with Dick and Kori and got more carnival snacks with their friends.

"Say cheese!" instructed Marinette as she paused to take a picture of her friends for the official Teen Titans Instagram account.

Kori grinned and pulled Dick closer to her. Gar reached for the camera in Marinette's hands. "Turn the camera around and make it a selfie."

Marinette did as instructed, moving her own head in front of the camera and grinning as she took the picture. She quickly typed a caption. Enjoying cinnamon glazed almonds (Beast Boy's favorite) and butterbeer at the fair. Hope everyone's having a great day in Jump City! "And... post!"

Marinette sat down to enjoy the snacks, Gar slipping his hand into Marinette's. "Try the cinnamon almonds first, they're delicious."

"They'd better be," teased Marinette. "You've been hyping them up all week."

"I could write poems about these almonds, they're so good. And I know I could probably get them any day of the year, but I only ever get them when we go to the fair so that they never lose their appeal."

Marinette popped a handful in her mouth and hummed in appreciation. "Oh, these are good. I'm going to have to get a recipe for these, so I can make homemade cinnamon almonds."

Gar's eyes lit up. "Homemade cinnamon almonds. That might be the best combination of words I've ever heard in my life."

Marinette playfully narrowed her eyes. "What about 'I love you.'"

Gar's eyes widened. "Um, third-best combination then. Right after when you told me, 'I love you', and when I told you, 'I love you.'"

"Good save. The execution could use some work though. I give it an eight out of ten," joked Dick.

"I'll be generous, and give it an eight point five," added Kori.

"Hey, only I get to tease him," protested Marinette as she gazed at Gar lovingly. "Now feed me more almonds."

Marinette ate another serving of almonds and drank two glasses of butterbeer before Dick and Kori decided to separate from them and find the trapeze tent. Gar got his list back out, checked off the activities they had already completed, and announced, "Now it's time for more rides. Paratroopers, here we come!"

Just a few minutes later, Marinette was pressed against Gar's side as their cart swung through the air. "This is nice," said Marinette. "The Jump City Fair gets the Ladybug stamp of approval."

"Just wait until you see the fireworks. The grand finale is amazing. You'll love it," promised Gar.

"I bet I will." Marinette rested her head on Gar's shoulder as she watched the world spin around them.

When they got off the ride, Marinette and Gar walked hand-in-hand to the art competition tents, where paintings were hanging all around the tents.

"Look at this one!" Gar pointed to a painting of the Teen Titans in action, fighting the H.I.V.E. Five in the streets of downtown Jump City. "This one has my vote!" Gar called out.

"Shush," said Marinette with a laugh. "You're biased."

"Nope. No bias here. Just pointing out what is objectively the best painting he's ever seen."

"Oh really. If you're such an impartial judge, tell me why it's objectively the best painting."

"Because you're in it, Buginette." Gar grinned at her, pointing at Ladybug in the picture, fighting Jinx with her yoyo.

Marinette laughed. "You're so cheesy."

"To be fair, you did walk right into that one," Gar defended himself as they left the art tent. "If you're going to leave yourself vulnerable to compliments, I'm going to take that opportunity to compliment you."

"Oh, look at the sunset!" exclaimed Marinette as she saw the yellow, pink, and orange sky.

Gar slipped his hand into Marinette's. "It doesn't hold a candle to you."

Marinette got onto her tiptoes and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "You're too sweet. Now let's go ride that Ferris wheel."

Gar and Marinette walked to the Ferris wheel hand in hand, getting into a car and riding it all the way to the top, where they could see the sunset reflecting off of the ocean.

"You were right, it does get cold," said Marinette with a shiver.

"Here, take mine." Gar took off his jean jacket, laying it across Marinette's shoulders.

Marinette smiled. "How about we split the coat while we're up here. We'll just have to squeeze together." Marinette pressed herself up against Gar, moving the jacket so that it draped over both of their shoulders. Sighing softly, Marinette watched Gar with a smile on her face.

"What are you thinking about?" asked Gar.

"I just don't want to forget this moment."

"I can fix that." Gar pulled his phone out of his pocket, started a video, and turned his camera around so they were both in frame. "How are you feeling, Buginette?"

Marinette kissed his cheek, then smiled for the camera. "Perfect."

"Jump City Fair is a success." Gar ended the video as the Ferris wheel started up again, moving them back down to the ground.

"Every day with you is a success."

The fireworks started as they walked back to the car, bright and colorful. Marinette slid her hand into Gar's gently rubbing circles with her thumb. She knew that he used to be scared of fireworks - still was, a little bit - as a result of his animal tendency. Gar flinched back as the boom of fireworks sounded above him.

"Focus on my voice," said Marinette. "I love you. I love you more than all the stars in the sky. I love you more than all the drops of water in the ocean. I love you forever."

Gar wrapped his arms around Marinette. "I know. I love you too."

@maribatmarch-2k21

[jackoshadows]

I'm sorry, but do you hate the sansa of books too?

Sorry for the late reply, but I get asked this so many times lol. I am pretty sure I have already answered this as well and it’s somewhere on my blog.

But honest question, are there any blogs out there who actually like the Sansa of the books? I haven’t seen any. The people who claim to love book Sansa stan for a hyped up, sanitized, white washed version whose only flaw, as per their interpretation, is that she’s just a little naive. But also she’s super intelligent and smartest character in the series. And all this without any text to back up this strange dichotomy - naive and super intelligent at the same time!

Any discussion of actual book Sansa is labelled as ‘Sansa hate’ and hordes descend on such posts demanding that it be tagged ‘anti-Sansa’. So people who like Sansa think that the Sansa of the books is anti-Sansa!

Others bloggers have done a better job than me of explaining fandom’s perception of Sansa versus the actual book version. This post for example:

https://aiyassalt.tumblr.com/post/188322664000/honestly-i-greatly-dislike-sansa-both-her-book

https://aiyassalt.tumblr.com/post/188450445310/star-crossedvoyager-aiyassalt-honestly-i

One only has to look at number one Sansa stans David Benioff and Dan Weiss to understand how for most of her fans, they can only genuinely like the character and enjoy her when she is given the character traits and plots of other characters. Weiss and Benioff constantly claim Sansa is their favorite character and yet they are busy stripping Jon, Arya, Bran, Dany and other characters of their book characterization for Show Sansa.

Shit like this:

"She's like the warrior of Winterfell" - Sophie Turner on Sansa wearing armour for the first time in Game of Thrones season 8

Arya has needle? Well, Sansa will also get one!

Clapton’s view on creating Sansa’s new style is that it’s centered  around using found materials since Sansa sews her own dresses. Sansa’s  spiked necklace is a reference to Arya’s Needle- this is Sansa’s Needle,  the designer has explained.

Teaching grizzled warrior Yohn Royce about the importance of castles as a first line of defence -  She’s the warrior of Winterfell! She knows more about how much rest the soldiers required than Daenerys Targaryen who commanded armies for like 7 seasons!

And when she was walking around saying that they need food so ask everyone to bring grain to Winterfell and the two blokes walking behind her just look at each other like she said the most cleverest thing ever and omg they should have made her queen instead of Jon! Meanwhile book Jon Snow is breaking his head over how to get food for like 5 chapters and has still not solved the issue in the last book.  

And a lot of book Sansa fans don’t have an issue with all this - they think the smartest character in the whole of Westeros will just be better written in the books - meanwhile book Jon is stupid, Arya is just a revenge obsessed killer and Dany is headed for a dark ending because she’s ignorant and impulsive. Their version of book Sansa is more diplomatic and intelligent than Jon and Dany - characters who are actually written going through grueling leadership arcs.

I was indifferent to book Sansa. She bored me. She was a spoiled, selfish brat in book one and a political pawn and prisoner in later books. I did sympathize with her situation and appreciated that at least now she was slowly starting to realize that appearances are only skin deep and trying to help whenever she could.  I used to skip her chapters on re-reads because Tyrion’s POV was more informative and kept me entertained about the KL plots. But there were all these ‘Pawn to Player’ threads and Sansa BNFs on Westeros.org discussing book Sansa  becoming so smart, that I would go back and read her chapters. And nothing.

And her fans overhyping the character and inserting her into other plots is what is making me dislike even her book version now. Jon’s story is wholly unconnected to her in the books, and yet the Jon Snow tag is full of Sansa. That incorrect-Stark or whatever blog is going to be my supervillain origin story.

One of the reasons for why I am desperate for the next book, is so that we can go back to discussing Jon Snow on the Jon Snow tag instead of it getting clogged by Sansa stans with pro-Sansa and anti-Dany stuff. The Jon Snow tag is not for ship wars and for Sansa stans to hate on Dany.  Please George write the damn book.  🙏. We are desperate here.  

I don’t want to talk or write about Sansa. It’s the last thing I want to do. But the show inserting Sansa into Jon’s plot because Benioff and Weiss was bored of book Sansa’s actual plot and wanted their favorite character to be more important and become a warrior and defense expert and Queen and all that means that Jon Snow fans are now stuck with the character’s toxic stans.

I can empathize with Arya fans now. For a long time they had to deal with Sansa stans because in the books, its Arya and Sansa who have a contentious relationship and Sansa stans were always taking away from Arya and blaming Arya and Sansa BNFs were writing negatively about Arya.

But the show has changed that and the only reason I even started writing about Sansa was because of season 6 when Jonsa stans invaded the Jon Snow tag like cockroaches that can never be got rid off.

So yeah, that’s my rant over. I just want The Winds of Winter. I want to read about what happens to Jon at the wall, the Night’s watch and the Wildlings, Theon and Jeyne Poole, Stannis and the battle of Ice, The Boltons, a bad-ass direwolves vs Ramsay’s hounds battle, Rickon and Davos, Northern houses plotting and conspiracy and playing the game, is Mance alive? what’s the deal with the Pink letter,  Melisandre and Ghost and Jon and Arya somehow reuniting. I want to stop freaking talking about Sansa - a character I really don’t give a damn about.

When TWoW comes out, hopefully Sansa fans go back to discussing lemon cakes and feasts and tourneys and the most realistic (though strangely flawless) and best character in asoiaf.  I, on the other hand, am just a simple fantasy fan here for the swords and magic, direwolves and dragons, ice zombies and 3ERs - and hopefully TWoW will be written one day and will be chock full of material to keep me happy!

Hope that answers your question? 😁

[link4eva]

Kiro’s Victory and Defeat Date Translation [CN]

Hi, y’all! I just have a couple notes just before you begin reading. I don’t actually know any Chinese so this translation was done through the power of Google Translate. Also, thanks to @cheesy09 and @keliosyfan​ for looking it over! ありがとう！💛

The translation below contains spoilers for a date that hasn’t been released in the ENG server yet so please don’t look below the cut if you don’t want to be spoiled.

You can read the call that comes with this date here!

Hope you enjoy!~

*Spoilers for future content below!*

On a rare sunny day, I opened all the windows in the house for some fresh air.

The wind gently fluttered the curtains, bringing in a hint of the coolness of spring.

Looking at the two tickets sitting on the table, I walked over and put them in my wallet one by one.

Just recently, Kiro and I learned that an expert street dancer from abroad was coming to Loveland City to have a “strength exchange” in an underground workshop.

The moment our eyes met, Kiro and I smiled in harmony and immediately booked two tickets.

Suddenly, there was a familiar-sounding knock on the door that interrupted my thoughts.

Before the answer was completely formed in my heart, I had already made up my mind.

As soon as I opened the door, a dazzling golden colour appeared before my eyes.

Kiro: Miss Chips!  

The person standing in front of me flashed me a bright and brilliant smile which made me laugh to myself.

MC: Why did you come so early? Didn’t you say that I will see you at night? 

Kiro pouted his lips, pretending to be dissatisfied, and patted my face quickly.

Kiro: Well, that’s a simple question to answer.

Kiro: Of course it was because I missed you. So, I showed up in advance. 

That bright, smiling face made me lose my train of thought for a moment.

Suddenly, his eyes glanced behind me, showing an unexpected expression.

Kiro: But, behind you, Miss Chips….

Before he finished speaking, I seemed to remember something and hurriedly rushed to the living room to put away the game controllers scattered on the floor.

MC: It’s nothing. You didn’t see anything! 

Kiro: I clearly saw everything!

Kiro: The messy living room, the controllers on the floor, and the dark circles under Miss Chips’ eyes….

Kiro pushed up his non-existent glasses with a serious face, analyzing every “clue” in front of him.

Kiro: So, according to my speculation, the truth is that--

Kiro: Miss Chips pulled an all-nighter last night playing games. 

Hearing Kiro figure out the answer, I couldn’t help but whisper to myself.

MC: I didn’t mean to stay up that late but this game was kicking my butt.

Seeing Kiro’s confused face, I sighed and decided to confess the truth.

MC: Actually, last night, I was practising the fighting game we played together last time.

MC: Last time, I hadn’t played much and the experience wasn’t the best.

MC: So, I thought about practicing in secret. I thought it would be a lot more interesting when we played together next time.

Kiro’s eyes were surprised. He stared at the controller on the ground.

Kiro: Practicing by yourself isn’t as effective as playing with another person.

As soon as he stopped talking, he stepped forward, holding my gaze firmly in his.

Kiro: So, let me join in. 

Kiro: My cute and hard-working Miss Chips~ 

[Second Part]

As soon as I brought over the fully charged controller, Kiro sat down on the couch with me in his arms.

MC: Eh, do you want to play like this?

I turned my head to meet Kiro’s eyes but didn’t expect to be held even tighter.

Kiro: Don’t we always play like this? 

Kiro: Is Miss Chips still not used to it?

MC: But we are playing as opponents in this fighting game….

MC: It’s too hard to play this close!

Kiro: Is this too close? 

Kiro: What about this? 

As he asked this, he nuzzled his head lightly into my neck, his face pressed against mine.

When he became even closer, the tips of my ears began to burn uncontrollably.

MC: This is even closer than before!

The next second, he leaned back contentedly on the couch with a satisfied smile, his arms still encircling me.

Kiro: Are you ready?

Kiro: Remember, I don’t show mercy to my subordinates!

After Kiro pressed the start button, the TV entered the countdown phase.

3, 2, 1--

The living room was silent for a bit aside from the sounds of the game from the TV and the mashing of buttons.

Although I couldn’t see Kiro’s expression behind me, his state seemed to match those of the characters on screen.

The perfectly-executed combo and roundhouse kick instantly reduced my health bar by a lot.

I couldn’t help but hold my breath, hold the controller tightly and get more serious.

Although I may be at a disadvantage, probably because of all the practice the past few days, I didn’t panic.

At the same time, the combo moves that I had been waiting to use also swiftly responded at the same time.

Soon, our health bars were equal. The drawn-out battle made me want to win even more.

MC: Look at me!

Kiro: Miss Chips, be careful~ 

Suddenly, Kiro’s character shot up into the sky, a precursor to an even bigger move.

I immediately sounded the alarm in my head and quickly hid the moment his character fell.

Kiro: Nice! 

Although I enjoyed hearing his praise, I didn’t dare take it lightly.

I held my breath and walked towards Kiro’s character, like a cheetah lurking quietly before hunting.

Suddenly, Kiro’s moves finally showed a small opening, and I quickly followed the moves that I had practiced hard over the past few days. 

After triggering a series of critical strikes, his character instantly fell to the ground. A big “WIN” flashed on the screen.

I raised my hands happily but Kiro turned my body to face him and pitched my cheeks lightly. His eyes were full of joy.

MC: Yay!!! 

Kiro: Miss Chips is amazing!

MC: Phew, if it weren’t for all those “make-up classes” every day recently, I’m afraid today would be another miserable defeat~

Kiro: MC’s desire to win is very strong!

MC: So is yours! You are on so many leaderboards for so many games! 

Kiro held his chin pretentiously and blinked. 

Kiro: This can’t be compared with the desire to win!

Kiro: As for me, I was just adhering to the principle of “perfect clearance”. So naturally, I ranked first.

MC: What you said just now….Makes me wonder if you just let me win.

I squinted my eyes and slowly approached him. He waved his hand quickly.

Kiro: I didn’t. If you lose, you lose, but….

Kiro: If I only lose to you, I will be willing. 

He looked straight at me, his blue eyes gleaming.

And in such gleaming eyes, only me is reflected in them at this moment.

I nestled my body in his arms again and shook the controller.

MC: Well, should we play another round?

Kiro: Yeah, let’s play some more before we go out!

I pressed the start button excitedly and we both sat up slightly, looking at the game screen with full concentration.

When night fell, we reluctantly put down our controllers, took the tickets and prepared to go out.

(Cut to the warehouse)

After nearly an hour’s drive, we came to a warehouse in a remote suburb.

I looked back at Kiro, who was already wearing a baseball cap and helped him to lower the brim of his hat with worry.

Kiro: Don’t worry, I won’t be recognized.

Kiro: Let’s go in. 

[Third Part]

Unexpectedly, there are some warehouse buildings outside. But, there is something special when you walk in.

The graffiti all over the wall shows the unique atmosphere here. The young people’s swaying to the rhythm synced perfectly with the beat.

Looking around, dozens of circles surrounded by people are scattered in various places of the warehouse. Cheers and chants also oscillated in it.

Looking around, I saw a passerby who was about to bump into me….

Kiro quickly stretched out his hand in front of me and blocked me. The passerby paused after bumping into Kiro’s arm and then walked past us.

MC: There are a lot of people here, and it seems that the expert street dancer isn’t here yet….

Kiro: Then let’s go to the side and wait for a while, alright?

I nodded and followed him to a place with fewer people.

After sitting for a bit, I didn’t expect to see several young women looking at Kiro.

I was shocked. No one would recognize Kiro, right?

Seeing the gazes of the young women continuously cast towards Kiro, I silently stepped forward and blocked his figure.

While I was thinking about countermeasures quickly, one of the men with dreadlocks had already walked in front of Kiro.

Man with dreadlocks: Hey, buddy. Seeing you up closer, is this your first time coming?

The brim of the hat blocked most of Kiro’s face, his blue eyes were also hidden in the darkness.

The brief silence made the man with dreadlocks frown. He twisted his neck and it cracked.

Man with dreadlocks: There are a lot of people who bought tickets just to have fun here. It’s really unpleasant.

Man with dreadlocks: If I’m wrong, you’re welcome to use your strength to let a few of our brothers have fun.

As the man with dreadlocks said this, his companions quietly surrounded us in a circle.

Just when I thought I was ready to stay silent again, Kiro raised his chin and said,

Kiro: These words don’t sound very inviting. 

I don’t know if he was deliberately concealing his identity but Kiro’s voice was much deeper than usual.

Man with dreadlocks: Oh, I have seen people like you a lot, you are just afraid of losing~

Man with dreadlocks: After all, your girlfriend is watching. Wouldn’t your image in her heart be greatly damaged if you lose?

MC: You….

I couldn’t help but prepare to fight back and Kiro gave out a soft laugh beside me. 

Kiro: It seems you didn’t understand what I said.

Man with dreadlocks: What?

Kiro’s lips raised up to make a shallow arc and slowly walked in front of the man.

Kiro: In this case, I also have my own rules.

Kiro: If you really want to “communicate”, should we place a bet?

The flickering neon lights made Kiro’s face light up. He gave off a dangerous aura.

I don’t know if they noticed Kiro’s faint provocation. The faces of the group of people became a little timid.

Man with dreadlocks: Hmph, that’s crazy!

Before he could finish speaking, one of them leaned close towards his ear while looking at Kiro at the same time.

Man: Brother, why do I feel like the more I look at this person’s face, the more he looks like Kiro?

As soon as he asked, the man with dreadlocks suddenly raised his head and laughed.

Man with dreadlocks: Him? You should go to the hospital to see the eye doctor.

Man: ….

Man with dreadlocks: Besides, even if it is, how strong can a star be? All that praise is for nothing.

Those harsh words kept echoing in my ears. My worries were gradually replaced with anger.

I can’t help but think back to the way Kiro was immersed in practice and creation for countless days and nights. 

The work is polished over and over again. He only wants to show the best side of himself to everyone.

Thinking of this, I took a deep breath and couldn’t help refuting it.

MC: Do you think you can wipe out all their efforts with just one sentence? 

I had been silent this whole time. I couldn’t help but stun the people around me.

MC: They will never be defeated by prejudice.

The man with dreadlocks suddenly laughed and shook his head helplessly.

Man with dreadlocks: Another girl who’s been brainwashed by celebrities….

He wanted to say something more when a cold voice sounded in the air.

Kiro: Enough nonsense.  

I followed the voice and found that Kiro had reached the center of the open space. He raised his chin and ignored the person in front of him.

Kiro: What are you waiting for? 

[Fourth Part]

The rules for the dance battle are simpler than I imagined. There are no restrictions for either party. The people around the scene will be the “judges”, and the side with the louder voices wins the game.

Man with dreadlocks: Brother, it’s not too late to admit defeat, you know?

Kiro shrugged indifferently as if he didn’t care about the mockery of the other party.

Kiro: Before we start, let’s decide on the “trophies” for both sides.

Man with dreadlocks: Raise the stakes all you want, you can’t win anyway.

Kiro: In that case….

Kiro stopped in the middle of speaking as if thinking of some interesting idea. He slightly raised the corners of his mouth.

Kiro: After I get the CALL, you’re gonna have to admit really loudly that you love Kiro so that everyone in the building can hear you. How about it?

The man with dreadlocks was stunned as if he hadn’t expected it. I quickly smirked and asked,

MC: Isn’t that a little much? 

Man with dreadlocks: How can I do that! I don’t know how to CALL. We need to change one thing. 

Kiro ignored his opponent, lowered his head, and leaned towards me.

Kiro: Could I ask Miss Chips to do a demonstration of CALL?

Kiro: It’s also considered cheering for me.

His voice is as soft as a feather, slowly brushing my ears.

My body temperature rose uncontrollably and I blushed as I met his gaze.

There was a little bit of starlight hidden in those blue eyes and the corners of his lips rose slightly to form a little devilish smile.

Kiro winked, my mind trembled, and I nodded subconsciously. 

MC: The friend who doesn’t know how to CALL, let me teach you.

I glanced at the man with dreadlocks, took a deep breath, shaped my hands into a horn, and shouted out loudly.

MC: Kiro, I will love you my whole life! And I will not regret it!!  

My heart beats like a drum with every word.

Those shouts that had been hidden in my heart for a long time had finally poured out at this moment.

This is what I’ve always wanted to do. But, I rarely seem to be able to do it in public….

My voice caused many people to look sideways. I gradually recovered and hid behind Kiro.

Kiro: Thank you, Miss Chips. I can hear you clearly.

Kiro’s words floated past my ears and were soon drowned out by the surrounding music.

The man with dreadlocks walked to the center and made a provocative gesture to the sky to indicate the beginning of the dance battle.

He immediately began to move, and after a series of smooth waves, he drew a lot of voices from the surrounding crowd.

The rhythm became faster and faster and he finally landed on the ground with a somersault, raising his eyebrows at us with disdain.

Kiro glanced disapprovingly and then turned to face me.

Kiro: Look after this hat for me.

Before I could respond, he pulled up his sweater and hat and walked towards the center stage step-by-step, with an unclear look.

The surrounding lights are still flickering and dimming, adding a little mystery to the atmosphere at this moment.

Kiro stood in the middle of the crowd with his head down. He raised his head when the music in the background dropped the bass.

In the next second, Kiro fell straight to one side and just when I thought he was about to lose his center of gravity….

He steadily caught himself with one hand on the ground. He took advantage of the momentum to lift his feet in the air to cross and freeze, his flying necklace also crossing a beautiful parabola.

I couldn’t help holding my breath, my eyes swept across the smooth body lines and messy golden hair subconsciously. 

In the end, I couldn’t look away from those azure blue eyes. They were a very determined pair of eyes.

He, at this moment, is completely different from when I was nestled in his arms that morning, making it hard to concentrate.

Suddenly, the music seemed to make things difficult for Kiro on purpose, and the rhythm suddenly became crazy and rapid.

He didn’t look the slightest bit worried. He followed the variation of the beat to improvise one brilliant move after another.

Every movement is sonorous and powerful but light at the same time. There was no sense of heaviness.

The atmosphere on the scene became more and more intense. The force of the crowd kept pushing me out until I was gradually pushed out altogether.

As I tried to squeeze back in, cheers sounded around me.

I jumped up anxiously, vaguely seeing a familiar pair of arms raised high.

The result of the dance battle seems to be obvious and I can’t help but want to eagerly witness the moment of his victory.

MC: Let me in!

My voice was instantly overwhelmed and there were many voices in my ears that wanted to compete with Kiro.

Just when I was getting a little anxious, someone held my hand tightly and the noise around me stopped instantly.

Kiro: It’s okay to compete with me, one by one.

Kiro: But, my person should have the best viewing position, right?

A cold voice sounded in the crowd. At the same time, my vision gradually widened.

Kiro: Miss Chips, keep looking at me. 

MC: OK!

Even though I was a little shy to be watched by everyone, I stood not far away from him, a warm feeling filling my heart.

People who wanted to compete came up one after another and then slipped away amidst the sounds of the crowd.

Until the end, no one dared to step up, only the undulating admiration remained.

As time passed, the crowd didn’t seem to be as crowded as before. They were quietly spreading out.

Seeing that Kiro’s hair was stuck to his forehead because of sweat, I took out a tissue and wiped it.

MC: Obviously you are a person with a strong desire to win, But this morning, you pretended to be a pig and eat a tiger in front of me.*

*So I had to google this phrase here and it’s an idiom. It’s basically saying that Kiro acted weaker than he actually is in order for his opponent to lower their defense against him.   

Kiro: Because the situation is different.

Although Kiro tried his best to cover it, he was still slightly out of breath.

MC: Different?

Kiro: Well, because in front of MC, I don’t need to strive for perfection in everything.

Kiro: Being with you makes me happy and helps me relax.

Kiro: But just now, everyone was looking at us. I had only one thought at that time.

Kiro looked at me seriously, his eyes brighter than ever.

Kiro: In front of the person I like, I don’t want to lose. 

Kiro: I can’t lose.

As soon as his voice fell, my heart skipped a beat, my hand that was gradually moving stopped.

The sweetness and emotion in my heart were repeatedly intertwined. I looked at him and couldn’t speak for a moment.

Kiro leaned over, his line of sight aimed right towards my lips.

Kiro: Since I won, will I be rewarded by Miss Chips?

Kiro: Such as….

Without waiting for him to finish, I quickly gave him a peck on the lips, blushed and “escaped from the scene”.

Kiro: Wait, just that? Is that it?

Kiro’s voice came from behind. I snickered and continued to run forward.

I didn’t tell him, in fact, that I didn’t care about winning or losing.

Because in my heart, Kiro will always be the best and irreplaceable person.

But seeing him win the game for me, I secretly smiled in my heart and just let him have this moment.

He’s always handsome no matter what. *Phrasing was a little weird here so I hope I interpreted this right lol* 

[End]

[ghostmartyr]

SnK 132 Thoughts

This month, more people scream and die.

Exactly as keikaku.

Unlike certain keikakus, however, this keikaku is still missing the essential element of a keikaku in that there is no actual keikaku there’s just a lot of people running around screaming while they try not to die and then the screaming only stops when they die.

People also die when they are killed.

...Maybe.

Before we approach the obvious, the most interesting part of this chapter to me is that once again, Eren is presented with the option of stopping. While he’s in the planning stages of his assault, it is explained quite plainly that strategic strikes will completely undo any country’s attack on Paradis.

Hizuru favors a limited test run of the rumbling. Yelena provides a tactic that uses only a bit of the outer wall. She explains the reasoning. She isn’t wrong.

We’ve already had plentiful examples of what the Wall Titans can do. They can swim. They’re easy to spot from the distance, but there is no ammunition or strategy that can deal with them. Running is the best option, and even that is a risk.

Systematically destroying every single port would have bought Paradis all the time in the world. Yelena has this discussion with Eren back when she is wanting Eldians to die out, so they have different view of what counts as a win, but if Eren had wanted to, he could have easily wielded his massive power to keep every nation’s military from fucking with them.

He doesn’t do that. Instead of a small portion of the walls, he wakes up the entire part. Instead of targeted strikes, he goes for armageddon.

Eren has options. Hange can say that Eren has no solutions, hope, or future, but the lack of hope is all that comes close to the truth. There is a solution right here. Fight anyone who would oppose you, and win. Make it clear that the assaults only happen because they made the mistake of declaring war on Paradis.

Eldians might be treated like crap everywhere, but Eren’s murdered plenty of Eldians with this plan. If his only care is the island, he could have worked to protect it.

Instead, even in the most generous of reads, he's deconstructed Paradis’ government in a time of incredible strife, sowing the seeds for an ugly civil war that has already had its beginning skirmishes.

Eren’s actions are destructive in every single category. When he first activates the walls, Armin still has that flash of hope that Eren is only using the amount of force he needs to put an end to this assault.

He doesn’t. He wakes up every single titan, sends them marching, killing people on this island he’s supposed to care for so much, and now his closest friends are stuck in a world where to prevent genocide, they are probably condemning their own people to an even worse future than they already had.

The thing about this level of power is that you can do what you want. No one can stop you. If this starts with people forcing Historia into a breeding farm, Eren can just murder anyone who’s in favor of that.

(Sidebar: I still am annoyed that no one came up with the obvious solution for that problem. If they need someone with royal blood to still be around in fifty years, just turn Historia into a mindless titan and ditch her underground with specific instructions each new Founder can follow. Titans are functionally immortal when left alone. They’re much less fragile than humans. Any dedicated person could easily kill off all the royal heirs, so might as well simplify the process, keep one royal heir around and relatively invulnerable. Then each Founder has easy access to their power if they just go to the right place. Obviously there are risks, but honestly it’s more straightforward than having a bunch of free-minded little kids be your backup plan.)

Eren can destroy an entire country before even the most knowledgeable titan experts can work out a reliable plan.

Paradis was never in danger. They had this. The rest of the world had a hundred years to forget, but a handful of public demonstrations illustrates the point very, very clearly. Yelena’s strategy was meant to serve Zeke’s plan, but if what Eren wants is Paradis to thrive, it works. He doesn’t have much time left, but he doesn’t need it to destroy other countries’ options of attacking Paradis.

Hizuru is interested in allying with Paradis because of this power. They’re the first. They would not be the last.

At the very least, this would give Paradis more time, which they’ve all seen the need for.

Instead, Eren chooses to destroy everything that might even consider being a threat to Paradis. There is no diplomacy. There is no measured use of force. There is no plan. There is the monsters he’s always hated, and falling so far into the darkness that the freedom he claims to want is destroyed by his own hands.

There were countless threads Eren could have followed, being a demigod. He very honestly could have done whatever he wanted.

So he did.

I feel like we’re still missing why. By the time his head has gotten blasted off, he’s encouraging his dad to murder the Reiss family, and he’s hallucinating himself as a child, I think it’s more than fair to say this war has won against Eren. He’s broken, and this is the path he’s on.

Maybe it’s as simple as thinking in such stark black and white terms that he needs a future with a guarantee, and death is the strongest guarantee he can come up with.

Except going back to just last chapter, this is not what Eren wants. It is not something he is approaching with the passionate conviction of being in the right. He’s in tears over it. He’s horrified by the future he causes, but chained to it because he knows he causes it.

It’s a difficult problem to explain. From a plot perspective, I’m frustrated because there are so many ways this didn’t have to happen. I’ve said before that tragedy should feel inevitable, and with each reveal of what Eren got up to in the shadows, this tragedy feels entirely avoidable.

However, from a character perspective, it does make sense that once Eren’s course of action has been decided, he doesn’t see the other options. The inevitability is a trick of his mind, but it’s a trick that he’s bought into completely, so the tragedy is found in how truly unnecessary this all is. The tragedy is that the most powerful person on the planet is a slave to his own mind.

Here’s where that stops working for me:

We see that character arc play out better elsewhere.

That’s Floch’s role.

Floch is an unlikable, divisive zealot who will happily kill civilians and throw children out of airships. He joins the Survey Corps when it’s the hip and happening thing to do, and has none of the conviction to back up their ideals.

He is the sole survivor of a suicide charge. Everyone around him dies in the space of a few minutes, and he’s left alone to make sense of it.

The only sense he finds is that this has to be necessary.

This is how they win.

The world is chaotic and vicious, and the only way to answer that evil is with evil. This world that hates them is not allowed to wipe them out, and anyone who tries will feel their wrath.

Floch doesn’t bother with mercy or kindness. He doesn’t mind that the rest of the world has to die for them to live.

This is how his world operates. Kill or be killed. Those are clearly the rules. Those have been the rules for a hundred years, more clear than ever when they step outside and are eaten on contact.

If the rest of the world lives, Paradis dies.

Paradis is home.

For as long as it’s existed, it’s been hated. Never mind that the current people living there are also victims of the Eldian Empire. They’ve lived in a bubble, and forces keep showing up to pop that bubble, leaving nothing but bodies in their wake.

It is cruel and appalling.

But Paradis is still alive.

Because Erwin murders all these new recruits, Paradis lives.

Floch is the only one left alive to know that so intimately.

It is not a kind assessment.

It is one he redefines his life by.

Answer devils with devils. Their enemy is the entire world. There can be no rest. There can be no sympathy. As long as the outside world exists, Paradis will be a target for its hatred, and that hatred will eventually succeed in killing them.

Floch believes this. Genocide is not something he has a problem with. He’s been living in a world where it’s Us or Them, and has repeatedly made it clear that he will choose Us.

Floch is a teenage boy who survives brutality he’s not prepared for, and reconstructs his entire worldview around the tactic that tries to kill him. He’s a dick, and he does terrible things.

He believes in what he is doing.

He believes that if he doesn’t stop the plane, Paradis will die. He believes that our little ragtag group of heroes are the final, greatest threat to his home. He believes that Eren’s evil is the only thing that will keep them all safe.

At the end of the day, his only hope is that the Devil is on their side.

Floch dies believing in that hope, and he dies to the people hellbent on destroying it.

It’s tragic and sad, because he could never see anything better.

Our first real introduction to him is him on a rooftop, arguing that a boy whose eyes sparkle at thoughts of the ocean is not a good contribution to the war effort.

On that same rooftop, his devil argues that that is exactly why that boy needs to stay alive.

I understand that Eren’s somewhere that we can’t really reach right now, but I don’t feel like the story has shared the thread of how things got this bad. I can point to a dozen different factors that finally broke the camel’s back, but I wouldn’t say any of those are the reasons canon is operating under. We know that Eren came completely undone when the memories of the future were unlocked, but as late in the game as Marley, he’s still devastated by what he’s about to do.

So why does he do it? Why this choice? Why this way?

I think I spent most of last month’s post arguing that, so I won’t belabor it much more, but... I really feel like something’s being overlooked, and I don’t understand it. It’s hard to say if the story simply has a much different vibe than I expected, so my mind is rejecting all this, or if it’s intentionally weird. I’d like to think it’s intentionally weird, because in my opinion that’s a much better story, but either way, right now everything Eren’s doing feels like an incredibly pointless detour.

...Sure, that will end the world, but who cares about that, give me my character work.

How did hope become an impossibility for Eren?

To less painful things, I suppose.

No one suffers like Mikasa suffers.

I like Annie. She has always, very emphatically, wanted nothing to do with this. She has pride in her skills, but she spends years of her life undercover for a government that hates her, planning the deaths of people she respects. I like her opting out. This has never been her war, really, and she’s finally among people who will respect that she’s done with it.

It adds to the sweetness that Reiner is one of those people, now. As her self-appointed leader, he drives Annie into things she can’t stand, clearly favors Bertolt, and is generally just a pain who’s trying too hard in all the wrong areas.

Reiner gets that, and instead of bullying her into participating when she doesn’t want to, he lets her go.

Annie finally gets to pick her battles without anyone negging her.

It’s not a resolution I expected, but it’s one I’m glad for. It follows the trend of our leftover cast being completely past done with violence.

Who knows if that will turn out well for them, but I like the story taking the gentler approach. The world’s ending, so they might as well take the time to be kind to each other. It’s the opposite path of what ultimately destroys Floch, and I love to see it.

The Survey Corps is represented by their yearning for knowledge. Understanding. For a hundred years, that yearning has been paired with war, and the dead bodies have piled up.

Now, the remaining bodies left who call themselves Scouts are kind of. done with that. They’ve seen too many friends die. They’ve built trains. They’ve seen the ocean. They’ve tried foods from other countries they didn’t even know existed.

Surveying the outside world required weapons because otherwise you’d die, but there’s a reason why Levi keeps on missing the promotion to Commander. Levi is a defender of humanity. When he dedicates his heart, he does it to protect people. Learning more about the world is a side effect.

To match the Survey Corps’ ideals, violence is the side effect. It’s not what they’re meant to be about. Yet somehow they’re all soldiers with huge body counts, guilty even of killing their countrymen.

Levi lets Erwin go on that roof because he rejects Floch’s desire to condemn one of them to being a devil for the rest.

That results in letting a boy who dreams of the ocean live.

Hange becomes the Commander and gets to see their world expand. New friends are made, new technologies discovered. New civilization. New, new, new.

Aaaaaaand it’s still all trying to kill them.

Hange begins as a recruit who hates titans. What saves Hange from that hate is curiosity. At the end, that curiosity and awe is still alive. Even heading into death, we return to that beginning spark of salvation.

“Titans really are... incredible.”

No one else in the world looks at these monsters and sees something amazing. Hange is enamored with them. The world is burning, these things are responsible, yet still. There is wonder to be had in looking at them. They are an incredible, impossible creation, and Hange gets to see them up close.

A world like that has to be called incredible.

That’s why Armin gets to be Commander. Jean’s there to help. Mikasa’s there to help. Connie’s there to help.

But the Survey Corps exists to go out into the world and understand it. If something is hidden under a rock, you lift the rock. If you don’t know why someone’s doing something, you talk to them.

The world is fucking beautiful.

If the person in charge doesn’t remember that, they’re all doomed.

(This is why Levi is not allowed to be in charge.)

It’s a good sendoff for Hange. Time spent with Levi, getting to be a chaotically cool genius who saves everyone... yeah. It’s a good finish.

But this better not be fucking going where I think it’s going.

Let me politely frame my issues with dream sequences and time travel in fiction. I feel that I have done it before, but let us revisit, briefly.

There’s this show called Supernatural.

A thing that happens enough time to warrant its use as an example is that characters see or go into the future, and find that everything is fucked beyond belief. It is all bad, everything is wrong, see how you must avoid this so it never gets this bad.

The frustrating part is that hey, these characters in the future should have the same degree of agency as this guest from the past. Except they don’t. Because the past character is the main character. Future crew is just an extended what-if, and soon the entire plot will be devoted to making sure this what-if never happens. They are not real main characters, so they don’t get to do cool stuff. They’re forever doomed to failure.

The ghosts of the Survey Corps watching the progress of their living comrades isn’t a new concept. Every veteran has been haunted by them. Seeing them at the end of the story, doing exactly what we’ve been told they’re doing... fine, okay.

I just am starting to feel like the story’s quaking for a reset button.

Everything is bad. The world is fucked up beyond repair. There is no plan to deal with it, except to try to keep the global genocide from living its dream. In a world where they succeed in that, Eldians will be more hated and feared than ever before, Paradis being wiped off the map will probably be an international priority, there will be no Founding Titan to protect them, and there’s no path to recovery.

Then we’ve got a shot of ghosts all looking over the current happenings.

We know from Paths magic that all of Ymir’s people are connected. This doesn’t use that imagery; it’s based much more simply in the oath all these soldiers swore. But the point is, we see dead people. At a point in the story where many, many dead people are being produced.

I don’t mind a character being welcomed to an afterlife. A lot of stories go there.

But I am a suspicious, terrible person, and getting a glimpse at sentient dead people at this time makes me wonder if we’re allowed the privilege because they’re going to be newly present in the story.

And I am fine if we go the way of a Madoka ending. It’s better than a Lelouch option, and I like Madoka.

The only thing is, if we are going to hit a reset button, I become very, very cross at some of the choices made. Because sure, the characters might have still made those decisions, but the author knows that things are free to go as badly as whimsy will take them, because it won’t last. And with how my primary objection to the current plot is that it feels unnecessary, and like the choice to go here was made without enough reason to back it up...

It hasn’t happened yet, there’s nothing more than a suspicion that it might happen, but there are some specific kernels of “this needs more canon explanation” that I think the story should have, and if we’re stepping into the afterlife, magic solutions don’t seem far off, and if we get a magical solution without first establishing the non-magical ways we first ended up here, I will have a problem.

But hopefully none of that will even be an issue, and I’ll look back and feel silly for bringing it up.

...It’s just that our main character is not only threatening, but committing global genocide, and as of right now, the win condition is a moral win where everyone lives to oppress Eldians another day.

-tosses charred confetti-

And I feel like that is an incredibly pointless and boring story, so maybe it is not the story we’re being told, so.

So.

To next month.

[handlewithkara]

@chassycat-original​ It’s not that it isn’t possible , but I do think that it is a slightly different situation here. I'm by no means an expert on Supernatural, I mostly know it through general slash fandom cultural osmosi, but my impression is: . 

As flimsy as compared to years and years of canon it might be, Destiel does have at least that one concrete scene where a third party character taunts Dean that Castiel is in love with him. So they have opened the door to there being a romantic element. Stories have started on lamer sparks (like parallel universe evil gay vampire Willow)

this supposedly is from the script: 

(I think the can’t reciprocate is the bit that sounds suggestive, if this was just a friend I Love You, why should it be a big deal to say it back?)

My personal, fairly uninformed guess on the situation is this: so they came up with the idea of Castiel. They had an idea for an arc for him and then he was supposed to leave. 

But he was popular, so they kept him around, but he was aimless for a long time (again, we are not talking a season or two, we are talking 10 seasons!). 

And they decided already a while ago that Dean was going to be the main character Cas is linked to and the reason why (in universe) Cas is staying around. 

And then for the end of the show they decided that Castiel's motivation is that he loves Dean (or that they are going to expand on the love that was already the motivatino).

Again, keep in mind that I haven't followed SPN like, ever, closely, and I haven't read a writer interview from them in my life, so I'm just going on stereotype of how such things usually go. I could pictuer that maybe if you pressed them they might say something like "Cas loves Dean and it's sort of romantic, but it's kind of angel romantic, which is about half human romantic" and "Dean cares a lot about Castiel, Castiel means a lot to Dean". (if I'm totally off base and there are writer interviews where they say something else and more concrete, please link me)

For what it is worth, I do think that this can be argued to be an instance of the infamous queerbaiting, regardless of how the relationship ends up being defined, regardless of whether Destiel end up romantically, ambiguously romantically, confirmed one sided romantic or just generally ambiguous (or even confirmed "no homo"). 

The base line is that they set up a heavily ambigous scene, right as the show is about to end. And all those youtube videos show it pretty clearly, it's many people saying "I haven't watched Supernatural in years, but I saw it was trending, so I checked out the episode and I now will watch those remaining episodes like a hawk to see whether they follow up on it or screw it up". 

So they are using the ambiguousness of the situation to drum up interest in their series finale. 

Okay, let's give them the benefit of the doubt and say they are not using it, they just wanted to tell the story that makes the most sense of the characters in the last few episodes. 

They are still really heavily benefitting from this. So the very least they could do would be do a press release where they were clearly state what their intentions are (would be even better is to announce it beforehand that it was coming). Because otherwise it will always come across like a stunt to get attention and ratings by keeping people guessing, rather than something genuine on their side. (yes, a press release or big tv magazine interview is always going to have a lot less reach than the episode itself, but if they did it like that, one could at least say they tried their best not to present it as a “gotcha!” moment)

Why does it smell bait-y to me (again: not an expert, based on what how I have read queerbaiting described)? If they had made it clearly platonic rather than ambiguous then people wouldn’t have this motivation that they need to keep watching to see if there is follow up. Similarly, if they had made it non ambigous, like if they had thrown a romantic kiss in there, then any people who do have a problem with it might have a reason to drop out and not watch the last few episodes because they dislike the direction of the show (even if one takes position that the I Love You is unambiguous, Castiel gets removed from the story instantly. if they had shared a kiss and then Cas disappears, Dean in this scenario would still be unambigously mlm and his story would continue). By keeping it ambiguous they are optimizing their hypothetical viewership for the last few episodes. And the critique of queerbaiting is that that is pretty immoral. Either you jerk people along when you have no intention of delivering or you keep a story restrained in order to maximize your viewership appeal with hypothetical homophobes. 

There’s also another aspect. Let's talk about this as a hypothetical best case scenario for Destiel. 

3 more episodes left. 

Episode 1: Castiel declares his love for Dean and gets disappeared into The Empty

Episode 2: A stunned Dean cries to Sam "OMG, Castiel told me he loves me, I'm heartbroken, I don't know what to do with myself, I should have said it back"

Episode 3: They fight the big bad, suddenly Castiel emerges from The Empty, they beat the bad guys together and Dean throws himself at Castiel and they share a hefty tongue kiss before riding off into the sunset together

Supernatural is a show that has had 15 seasons. FIFTEEN! And Castiel has been around since season 4! 

Look I would never begrudge the fans if they were happy over that hypothetical 3 episode best case scenario. I get it. But as an outsider, I can't help but think: really? You had so many seasons to give Castiel an actual mlm storyline and you didn't? Let's say you decided only recently you were going to do that recently. You could still have had this in the first episode of the last season rather than in the almost the last. 

For what it's worth, I have NEVER bought into the idea that the CW is just that homophobic that they forbid a storyline like that. We can all see that the CW is absolutely chill with wlw pairings left and right, including pairings for lead characters (Batwoman, Legends of Tomorrow). 

I agree that the case is slightly more sketchy for mlm pairings. Though I do think that it is worth noting that they apparently were okay for it for both Captain Cold and Constantine on Legends of Tomorrow). I get that maybe the situation is different for SPN, since SPN was one of their steadiest performers and anchor to their schedule for a long time while Legends is like this cooky little show with barely any ratings or attention. AND Legends is an ensemble piece where maybe it's easier to sell making one of their characters mlm. (for what it is worth, I have never read a single interview about Legends that suggested that it was any sort of big deal or fight to be allowed to make Leo and Constantine on screen gay). 

So yes, it is not completely impossible that the CW is homophobic in this really thin slice (mlm characters, but only on their main male dominated steady rating show), but I can’t help but being skeptical when this accusation has been thrown around so many times in situation when it clearly didn’t make any sense. (their long list of wlw characters proves they have no problem with adding wlw characters, Legends and Batwoman prove they have no problem supporting shows with wlw leads, The 100 and Sara Lance show they have no problem adding it retroactively to characters who were intially planned or perceived to be straight) 

Constantine they couldn’t or wouldn’t show as bisexual when he was still on NBC, he had to come to the CW for that. Alex Danvers couldn’t or wouldn’t be shown as a lesbian when the show was still on CBS, she had to come to the CW for that. I think CW has shown over and over and over again that it provides a home for gay characters, I think people don’t give them enough credit if they so easily act like it’s obvious they must be the badguy as not their writers or showrunners who maybe just have a different vision or were themselves the ones too afraid to ask the network or were themselves the ones who had those audience concerns without the network ever expressing any opinion on it. 

[elyvorg]

Consider the following scenario: Around chapter 3, Tenko comes to Kaito to ask him to help Himiko. How do you think things would turn out? -As in, do you think the two could become the motivational buddies of Shuichi, Maki and Himiko?- (Also you're literally the only person I can ask this to, and thank you for providing such detailed Kaito content)

Aww, you're welcome! I'm thrilled to be considered the go-to source for Good Kaito Thoughts. (Though this is going to be at least half Tenko and Himiko thoughts, of course, and I don't profess to be as much of an expert at that, but I'll do my best.)

(also whoops, this got long, probably should go under a cut)

First, this'd need a couple of prerequisites: that Kaito's phobia doesn't exist so he isn't non-functionally mentally ill for most of chapter 3, and that Tenko's degenerate males thing is toned down a touch such that she's willing to acknowledge that Kaito is a good person and ask for his help with relatively little hesitation.

(This is sort of like what happens canonically when Tenko gets desperate enough to stop Angie's ritual that she asks Maki and Shuichi for help, and would have included Kaito if he'd been feeling well. But in that case, it was definitely more about "Angie is dangerous and might cause a murder if we don't stop this", rather than being specifically about helping Himiko. And I also get the sense that if there hadn't been at least one girl involved then Tenko maybe still wouldn't have asked them.)

Would This Work?

So, if we assume that, A, Tenko was even more focused specifically on helping Himiko than she already was in canon, and, B, was willing to ignore her prejudices and swallow her pride enough to ask Kaito for help, (and C, Kaito wasn't mentally ill and was able to help), would Kaito's input have been enough?

The thing is, Tenko was pretty much already doing all the right things to try and help Himiko in the first place. She'd recognised that the problem was Himiko struggling to express her emotions and had been trying to encourage her to do so, including suggesting physical training. This is a lot like Kaito's type of approach! There isn't that much that Kaito would have done differently to how Tenko did it. Him lending his input to this would mostly just have resulted in doubling the amount of enthusiastic persistence directed at Himiko, which... since Tenko being such an overwhelming personality was probably part of why Himiko didn't respond to her for so long, that might actually make things slightly worse on its own.

That said, Tenko was also not helping things by having a lot of her interactions with Himiko be unnecessarily overzealous romantic come-ons, which just made Himiko less inclined to want to listen to her in general and meant Tenko had given herself more of an uphill battle when it came to her genuine selfless attempts to help. I'd think the best thing to do about this would be for Tenko to apologise for having sometimes made things about her and make it clear that the most important thing to her right now is helping Himiko and this isn't about Tenko at all. However, I'm not sure if this is an issue that Kaito would actually properly pick up on in order to suggest that Tenko do this.

See, when it comes to understanding what a potential sidekick's struggles are and the best ways to help them overcome them, Kaito is great at it and seems to put a lot of conscious thought into it - but that's the part Tenko was already perfectly good at, too. When it comes to the process of reaching out and offering that help in the first place to encourage someone to begin to change, however, Kaito appears to pretty much just instinctively wing it, with no particular game plan other than "be persistent" and, maybe a little more specifically, "invite them to training". So I don't know if he'd necessarily have any better ideas than Tenko herself had of how to go about this - except, of course, for inviting Himiko to training.

Kaito's whole training thing really is a very effective way of getting through to someone in the first place. While the exercise itself is only tangentially connected to the actual point of self-reflection and emotional growth (especially in Maki's case), it's the directness of Kaito's approach that makes all the difference, because it prevents the potential sidekick from failing to notice or pretending not to notice that he's trying to help them. Just the fact that Kaito makes it a whole Big Thing where he very directly says, "I want to help you, this is how I'm doing it, if you want to get stronger then all you gotta do to take the first step is do some push-ups with me" presents the potential sidekick with a very obvious choice to make over whether they want to face their issues and try to change. In that position, anyone who really does want to change deep down is almost certainly going to take him up on that, whether or not they've been brushing off his other, less "official" attempts to reach out and help.

So maybe Kaito inviting Himiko to training, with Tenko alongside him backing up what he's saying - or leading the speech, even - about how this is all to help her, would indeed have got through to her. There are hints that, towards the end of chapter 3's daily life, Tenko has begun to make Himiko quietly wish she was more willing and able to listen to Tenko's advice. So it appears that the initial desire to change was already there in Himiko - it just sadly took Tenko's death in canon for her to actually acknowledge it.

However, there's also the massive spanner of Angie in the works here. With Himiko being brainwashed into clinging to Angie's escapism as an unhealthy coping mechanism, she was getting a free ticket to take the easy way out of her problems and run away from feeling like she needed to really change. If there had been no Angie in canon, Tenko would probably have been able to get through to Himiko while she was alive without even needing to ask anyone for help. But with Angie being a factor, even if Tenko and Kaito combined forces and invited Himiko to training to very directly present her with the option to change, I really kind of think Himiko would have just refused. She'd have been able to tell herself she doesn't need to change when she's already got Angie and Atua.

Tenko would be dismayed, but I think Kaito would get it. His sidekick thing can only work on people who want to change. Kaito can nudge and persuade, but he can't force people to make that choice; they have to ultimately do it of their own volition. If Himiko really isn't ready for this, there's nothing else Kaito can do. So he'd probably end up advising Tenko to just be patient and keep an eye on Himiko, letting her know that she's still there for her and the offer's still open if she ever changes her mind.

...And then case 3 would happen and Angie and Tenko would die and Himiko's arc would proceed roughly as it did in canon anyway, bleagh. Except for the fact that Kaito would have a lot more personal investment in this, because even if she never quite became his sidekick before, the fact that he extended that offer would still be important to him. I doubt he'd want to just leave her now that she has made the choice to change, even if she doesn't specifically need his help for it any more, and so he'd probably invite her to training in chapter 4 after all, despite the painful lack of Tenko.

(While we're here, let's talk a little about why Kaito never actively tried to make Himiko his sidekick in canon. Presumably, during the first three chapters, it was mostly out of seeing that Tenko was already kind of trying to work on that herself, and then that plus the whole Angie thing meant that Kaito didn't think it would be a good idea to butt in when he'd only get in the way. Then the reason he never invited Himiko to training in chapter 4 when she'd lost Tenko was perhaps because Himiko didn't actually need any extra nudges like Shuichi and Maki did at the beginnings of chapters 2 and 3; she was already going full-throttle and had firmly begun to make her efforts to change. ...That and, by that point, Kaito must have been mentally exhausted just looking out for two sidekicks while also suffering from and hiding his own problems, so he probably didn't really want to increase his burdens even more. Not that he'd have ever admitted that.)

If This Worked

But hey, never mind the fact that my conclusion to the question of whether this'd work is "probably not, thanks a bunch Angie", let's also think about what would happen if this had somehow worked anyway. A five-person team of training buddies sounds pretty adorable, after all!

(...Well, for this to last for any appreciable amount of time, we'd need Kiyo to not up and murder Tenko like an asshole, please. I guess it's possible that if they'd already got through to Himiko before Angie's death, she wouldn't have felt the need to talk to Angie with the seance and Tenko wouldn't have died? I dunno; that might be something Himiko would still want to do for closure even if she was already expressing her emotions more healthily. Ugggh Kiyo sucks. The only meaningful purpose he serves in the story is because someone had to kill Angie and Tenko for the sake of Himiko's character development, so if Himiko's development was going to happen anyway without those deaths, can Kiyo just not be here at all, please? Please? Or be someone slightly less shitty who murders just to escape and therefore stops at Angie.)

But anyway, yes, this five-person training team is fun to think about, because Kaito and Tenko really have a lot in common and it's a shame Tenko's prejudices mean they never get to interact much in canon to show this off. They're both so very Good in terms of their general overzealous enthusiasm and determination and desire to protect people. Tenko is also surprisingly like Kaito in that, though she seemingly needs to literally Aikido throw someone to do it, she can be pretty good at reading people and picking up on their struggles (even - gasp! - if they're male).

That said, Tenko doesn't make a point of going out of her way to help anyone who needs it like Kaito does, not even just among the girls (she sees Maki as a threat at first), and it's only because of her massive crush on Himiko that she also gained a selfless desire to help her. Still, maybe her collaborating with Kaito on this could help her learn that she's actually really good at motivating people in this way and it feels rewarding even when the target isn't her crush, making her want to use her skills for this more in future!

(Imagine if, in an effort to understand her better and see why Kaito believes in her so much, Tenko politely asks if she can Aikido throw Maki to get a read on her. She'd be kind of wary about what Maki would do if she did it without warning, after all.)

Plus, Tenko is also a big advocate of the idea that physical training can help someone with mental problems, just like Kaito! She might even have a slightly better idea of an actual systematic approach to training than Kaito... but then again, maybe not, because her Neo-Aikido does seem pretty haphazard. So we'd probably end up with these two ridiculous dorks who have no idea how to run a targeted exercise regime just throwing their enthusiasm all over the place and probably bickering and being competitive while they were at it, and poor Shuichi, Maki and Himiko would just have to try and keep up with them somehow. That'd be... quite the spectacle. (Maki would wryly comment that it's like having two Kaitos when one was more than enough... but she wouldn't actually mind.)

Naturally, I also find it interesting to think about how Kaito would be affected by this, especially since, while Shuichi, Maki and Himiko would all be considered his sidekicks, Tenko would be something more like a "co-hero" alongside Kaito in this arrangement. There's a lot of potential inherent in the idea of Kaito forging an important relationship with someone who's not a sidekick to him. If a friend of Kaito’s who was in the position to properly view him as an equal was also emotionally mature enough to see what he's doing wrong and point out that he really needs to talk about his own problems too, that would Change Some Things. However, as much as she'd be doing her best to help, and even if we assume her gender prejudices just didn't get in the way here at all, I... don't think Tenko's that person.

(Can you tell this is something I've thought about quite a bit, albeit never with Tenko. Imagine if Kaede had lived and she and Kaito had teamed up in their mutual desire to support everyone - they'd also have been great influences on each other, stopping the other from getting too self-destructively selfless.)

(Though, hey, what if Tenko Aikido threw Kaito at some point, probably more out of boisterous competitiveness than trying to get a read on him, except then she suddenly realises, "wait a minute, you're sick, what are you doing training them when you should be looking after yourself?" And his sidekicks kind of can't help but agree with her despite his attempts to deny it, because Kaito definitely looks to be in more pain than he should be from that. And then they escape and save his life, like they always would have if they'd known. Man, if only.)

Also, even though Tenko is nominally someone else in the "hero" role here, I can't quite see Kaito's unreasonable standards for heroes kicking in towards her. This is just an instinctive sense I get that I'm not completely sure of the reason for - perhaps because of the way Tenko initiated this by asking him for help? So she kind of is like a sidekick to him, too - just a sidekick in the specific art of being an inspiring and encouraging hero. Man that'd be so confusingly not-black-and-white to Kaito, a lot like Shuichi is to him in this regard as well. What do you mean she's both at the same time??? That’s not how this works!!!

There's also the fact that Himiko would be a sidekick alongside Maki and Shuichi (whether or not Tenko died), which might change things a little for people other than Himiko herself. Maki would be watching Himiko work on trying to express her emotions in a context that's being paralleled with the struggles Maki's trying to overcome. So maybe this could have got Maki to more consciously think about expressing her own emotions, which is something she has difficulty with too after having repressed them for so long, but that she doesn't precisely ever make quite such a conscious effort about in canon like Himiko does.

Also, if we assume that Kaito's issues are relatively unchanged and trial 4 still goes basically the same as it does in canon, Himiko being his sidekick could make a difference for early chapter 5. In canon, when she's not even his sidekick, Himiko still indicates that she's thought a little about Kaito's feelings and what he might be going through, as well as just how his behaviour is making Shuichi feel. But if she'd been actively a part of that sidekick group and had seen first-hand how Kaito's sidekicks - namely Shuichi - look up to him and learn from him, Himiko in particular would have had the capacity to potentially piece things together and figure out the real reason Kaito was avoiding Shuichi. After all, she's been in exactly the same position as Shuichi is here. (This is about my hot take on Himiko's FTEs that I discussed in one of my commentary posts, which I still enjoy thinking about. Kaito has parallels and connections to so many characters in this story and it’s great.)

[drunklander]

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 511

Ok so this episode is like the perfect embodiment of my love/hate relationship with the books. And the show, but since the author wrote it, the books too, and her writing/plotting in general. I hated the other episode she wrote so my expectations going into this were *rull* low.

This episode was like a series of character-driven vignettes, which is what I like most about her writing (and why I bother even sticking around): random scenes here and there that I really enjoy as standalone bits. But, in true Outlander fashion, it also like ticked a lot of the boxes for stuff plot-wise that I can’t stand. Namely, yet more violence against multiple women, Marsali and Fergus getting shortchanged, Lord John crossing just over the creepy line for a sec with Jamie and the situation with Ulysses’ legal status. It didn’t check the rape box, but we may have to revisit that next week. I sure as fuck hope we don’t have to, but seeing as this show never met a rape it didn’t think was ToTaLlY nEcEsSaRy to include... *preemptive sigh*

Show-wise this very much felt like a penultimate episode and in that respect it accomplished what it was supposed to. In the overall arc of the season though, much like when considering the whole book series, a few solid standalone scenes here and there do not equal a good whole. To be in this fandom is to be an expert in eating around the moldy parts of the bread to get a few nibbles of good stuff.

Anywho, SCIENCE!JIZZ 5EVA!

Fuck yeah PB&J, and Claire is forgiven for not mastering fluff yet. But fluffernutters are also a staple in any growing kid’s diet.

Poor burned girl. It’s not her fault she vaguely resembles a walker so I spent the whole time thinking about TWD.

Omfg I got like PTSD flashbacks when I saw that dress in the title card. KILL THAT DRESS WITH FIRE!

There may not be fluffernutters, but Bree and Claire fluff and Young Ian and Jemmy fluff are good substitutes.

This kid is adorbs tho.

They’ve been really blasé about mentioning time travel in front of folks this season. First Marsali and now Young Ian. The latter will be remedied, but I’m still lowkey annoyed that Fergus and Marsali aren’t brought into the circle of trust... Esp. when there was a perfect opportunity for it later on.

I cannot with men, tbh. Seeking justice for a daughter who’s been “dishonored” by killing the dude is like the most overused trope of toxic masculinity ever. And now we’re supposed to be all like oh look how relatable the Brown guy is! Because our tropey men wanted to kill a dude like that last week! Hard pass. Also, fucking his kid wasn’t raped, she loves a guy who happens to be married, but everything was super consensual. Sooo like double gross points for you, dude.

And yes, I know it’s ThE pAsT, but I am not in the past, I am in the present, and the show is airing in the present, so thinking this sort of behavior is gross is totes ok. So the fucked up squad of randos who always jump into my notes about how they like “their men to be men” can just shove it, ok? Ok.

They’re like really not subtle with the foreshadowing this episode are they. But then again, when has subtlety ever been a thing on this show. That’s a nice still you got there, shame if anything were to happen to it...

I’m really digging the decor in this living room.

Oh hey! They finally decided to stop pretending like Young Ian was dumb and didn’t notice literally *gestures* everything about Claire.

I’m still salty they never told Jenny and Ian in S3 tbh.

Shockingly, considering who wrote it, so much of this episode is directly from the books. So I’m sure the Cult of Herself folks will be obsessed. And like yeah, some of the stuff in this episode is some of the bits I really like from the books as individual little scenes. However! I know some in the cult will use this as a reason why the show should StAy TrUe To ThE bOoKs more. And please, for the love of fuck, fight that instinct. Parts of this episode aren’t good “because they’re from the book,” they’re good because they’re emotional moments between characters, which is where both the books and the show are strongest. “Sticking with the book” on everything would make an already not great show even worse. I mean, the show ain’t great, but thank fuck they’ve streamlined the book stuff as much as they have.

Yes, I did notice the Pamela easter egg from the book. No, I’m not one who gets excited about shit like that.

Aaand here we get the problematic af bit about Ulysses and his legal status. In the book, he was offered freedom and turned it down to stay with Jocasta. Which is twelve kinds of fucked up. Here, he *is* a free man and he chooses to stay and cosplay an enslaved person so he can chill with Jocasta? FUCK THAT NOISE. That is some “benevolent slave owner” bullshit. They don’t get overt with the Ulysses and Jocasta are banging stuff from the book, which is also epically fucked up considering the power dynamic and how a fuckton of men enslaved their own fucking kids because they’d raped the mothers and children take the status of the mother. I’m glad they didn’t come right out and say that. But it’s like lowkey implied and even if it’s not supposed to be taken as canon, having a Black man be given the option to get the fuck out of there and choose to stay with someone who enslaves other Black people is like some dangerous white fanfic nonsense.

Also, thinking about the slave/master relationship dynamic today really makes me wish I saw Jeremy O. Harris’ play while it was running...

Oh yay, Bree and Roger are actually leaving. Much like the Bonnet shit, credit where credit’s due, I’m glad they’re not dragging the will they/won’t they go out for another season.

Don’t sound so butthurt that you didn’t get to murder a guy, Jamie.

Poor Young Ian. Buddy needs a hug. And more screentime for his story. Like, do we really need something else traumatic to happen to Claire when we could explore family dynamics instead? This time with Young Ian and his wife and their Mohawk family?

THERE ARE SO MANY OTHER WAYS TO HAVE DRAMA AND CONFLICT THAT CAN TAKE UP THE RUNNING TIME OF A SEASON THAT DON’T INVOLVE CONSTANTLY PUTTING THE WOMEN IN PHYSICAL DANGER.

Lol at the thought of LJG “working the land.” Like, buddy, have you seen yourself?

“No doubt there a great many things I shall miss about being here.” Don’t make it weird bro.

Yes, I know he’s like gonna miss their friendship and stuff. But he’s always been just a smidge too intense about it. And by a smidge I mean the gay guy openly in love with his straight best friend a gross trope and I don’t like it.

Ok so if we’re following the “rules” of the show that the production used to recite ad nauseam to justify why Jamie and Claire barely seemed to even like each other for a few seasons (”they’re married, we don’t need to see them fuck!” “we already know they love each other, it’s a given!”), this sex scene shouldn’t exist. Because it’s really not essential to the plot. Which just proves the “rules” are and always were bullshit excuses. And the author/writer of this episode def spouted that bullshit too, so she can also shove it.

Because this scene *should* exist and those “rules” *were* complete crap. Because Jamie and Claire are very sexual/physical people and, especially when they’re going through things, use sex to center themselves where they are and in their relationship. Bree and Roger are leaving. Jem’s leaving. They’re sad about that. But they’re also happy that they made a family and got to be together as a family and are glad to have had that chance. (And, they just like to fuck.) So of course this is a good character moment. This is the kind of shit we should be seeing instead of just a constant barrage of plot and violence. And the crew can fuck all they off with their not at all convincing talking points about “rules.”

Also this is a much better use of sex than them constantly having them fuck after a fight instead of actually working through the issue between them.

Also, fuck yeah, get it gurrrl.

SCIENCE!JIZZ! (I’m gonna need a gif of Claire’s face when Jamie’s figuring it out because that’s gonna be in heavy reaction rotation.

I just love Claire fuck yeah science Beauchamp.

It’s also another scene that does nothing to advance the plot, but is a nice respite from the constant trauma. The show has yet to find a balance between the two, which is annoying af because they’ve had five seasons to figure it out. So like whenever there is fluff, folks pounce on it like starving animals. Which some in the crew (and some fans) like to point out like “see, you all like everything now!” Or “look, why are you whining so much, we gave you this!” Or “wow you hate the show but now you like this part? Hypocrite.”

But like, no, that’s not what it means. Not giving someone water for days and then throwing them a small canteen doesn’t mean everything is hunky dory. It’s still super fucked up. So no, enjoying the fact that there are a few fluffy scenes in an episode doesn’t mean the show is good. If they made more of an effort to center the characters and spread the fluff around a bit more instead of waiting until there was like trauma fatigue and throwing in a fluffy life raft, the show as a whole would be stronger.

</rant>

Ok it’s super fucked up they hadn’t told Bree about Willie yet, but I’m glad Jamie is the one who tells her.

“And it wasn’t a matter of love between us, but it was her choice, and that’s all I’ll say about it.” BECAUSE SHE RAPED HIM. COERCION IS NOT CONSENT AND ALL THE PEOPLE WHO ARE STILL TALKING ABOUT HOW “HOT” THAT SCENE WAS ARE FUCKING DISGUSTING AND THE PRODUCTION IS DISGUSTING FOR SHOOTING A FUCKING RAPE IN THE MANNER THEY DID. AND ALSO FUCK THEM FOR HAVING IT BE A RAPE IN THE FIRST PLACE WHEN IT COULD HAVE SO FUCKING EASILY BEEN CONSENSUAL.

This show is so fucking not good.

This scene with Jamie and Brianna is super nice, but like, we saw nothing of them building their relationship. He didn’t even fucking hug her after Murtagh died. The scene loses so much of what it could have had because they never did the legwork to show us what they mean to each other.

It’s the same old shit they pulled with Claire and Jamie. “Oh they’re together and endgame so we don’t actually need to show you them building and working on their relationship that much. Because you know they’re together so just go with it.” Like no? Fuck you? That’s not how this works?

FERGUS AND MARSALI DESERVE BETTER!

Of course Marsali’s preggo again. Why the fuck should she do anything but spit out babies. Also, THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A PERFECT TIME TO HAVE THE FRASER KIDS TALK ABOUT TIME TRAVEL.

And Bree’s become a sister to Marsali? We saw one fucking scene of them together. See above rant. Fucking show us them becoming sisters. Sorry to interrupt your constant stream of violence and trauma, but fucking actually SHOWING characters building relationships instead of TELLING us they did the thing is how this is fucking supposed to work.

I’m rull pissed we never got quality Fraser kid bonding, y’all.

And ditto with this scene with Lizzie. We saw more of Bree and Lizzie than Bree and Marsali, but like we never really saw them becoming friendly post Bree’s rape and Rogergate.

All the goodbyes are like making me feel inch deep feelings because they’re rooted in nothing we’ve actually seen. And I’m not a Bad Fan or dumb for not filling in the feelings myself. I’m the viewer. It’s not my job to fill in the show’s gaps. It’s the show’s job not to have emotional gaps.

Oh hey! Another shitty man who hurts his wife and another woman trapped in a physically abusive relationship who thinks the abuse is her fault! On Outlander? Who’da thunk they’d have something like this?!

I’m so tired, y’all. So. Fucking. Tired.

I HOPE YOUNG IAN FINDS HAPPINESS TOO, ROGER.

Ok but for real, every time Lord John talks about how Willie and Bree are like Jamie it has that gross tinge to it. Like I know he’s not meaning it like a creeper, but they leaned so fucking hard into him being so into and not over Jamie that the layer of grossness is always there.

Also like, grannie and grandda, we got like one scene of Claire and Jamie playing with Jem. WE COULD HAVE FELT SO MANY MORE FEELINGS ABOUT THEM BEING SEPARATED IF ONLY THEY HAD TAKEN THE TIME TO BUILD THE RELATIONSHIPS ON SCREEN.

Claire making everyone PB&Js is fucking adorable and I love her.

Old timey forks will never not be fucking weird looking.

“And now it’s just you and me again.” Uh, Fergus, Marsali and Young Ian might be a tad offended by that sentiment, Clairebear.

Ok but like do they really think a rope is gonna hold up to fucking magic time travel rocks? It’s gotta just be like a mental security blanket thing, right? Because if not, loooooooooool.

Ok but the really just let their kiddo run off like that in the middle of the magic time travel rock circle? Dumbasses.

Ok but like what’s the betting they ended up in like a RenFest type thing and think they haven’t traveled but they have and it’s like lol look at them fitting in with their old timey clothes vs. skipping them going back to the future and doing the going adventuring around the even past-er past part but with them all together instead of Roger and Buck?

I’m just hoping it’s something completely different than the books because I have zero interest in Bree and Roger in the 20th century and hate the Roger and Buck nonsense with a fiery passion.

Erm, that’s a little close to the house to build a privy, my dudes.

Is the setting a guy’s dislocated shoulder thing supposed to be a cute callback? Because like hey wink wink, first she was kidnapped and then set a shoulder and now she’s setting a shoulder and then getting kidnapped is kind of a fucked up “joke.”

But how about we get more of Nurse!Marsali and less of Marsali just being constantly preggo.

“Sort of like the opposite of what you do when ya joint a hog.” I JUST LOVE NURSE!MARSALI A LOT OK.

Aaand now that we’re all good and docile little fans who have been placated with some fluff and Fraser fucking as a treat, we can go back to the regularly scheduled violence against women. Because we literally just had a violent abduction last week. So clearly it’s time for another.

Everything in this story has been done before...

I swear to fuck, if they do the thing I think they’re gonna do next week, I hope they get rightfully dragged by fucking everyone.

And if by some fucking miracle of Caitriona putting her foot down they don’t do the thing next week, they get zero brownie points. You don’t get rewarded for doing what you should have done the whole time.

And of course the closing is Jamie lighting Flaming Dildo 2.0. His men swore oaths to him, not any government or crown, and protecting his family has always been the top thing for Jamie. So good choice there with saving Claire being the reason he calls up the men.

[timeagainreviews]

Reappraising Companions

Years after having watched every available episode of Doctor Who, I've had plenty of opportunities to rewatch episodes time and time again. As with most movies and television, I've found revisiting certain stories and eras has caused me to see them in a different light. A story I may have once reviled is suddenly more interesting. I even came to appreciate Peter Davison's performance as the Fifth Doctor for its subtle nature. But what about companions? Are there any companions I didn't care for at first, which I've softened toward over time? That is the question I wish to explore.

Below I've chosen a selection of companions of whom I had initially disliked for various reasons. They span across multiple eras and both the classic and modern versions of the show. With each companion, I have endeavoured to be fair in my reappraisal, but this doesn't mean I've changed my mind. I would also like to state that none of these appraisals are about the actors. My goal is to evaluate companions by the way they were written. The performance will come secondary.

1. Danny Pink

I chose Danny Pink to kick this list off because he is the reason I am writing this article in the first place. Recently, I took to rewatching a selection of Danny Pink episodes, in hopes that I may find something I didn't initially see. When Samuel Anderson was cast as Danny, I was excited. I've always been a big fan of male companions. They offer a different dynamic to the TARDIS that we don't often get to experience. However, in the wrong hands, they can be exhausting. Enter Steven Moffat.

When Steven Moffat took the reins of Doctor Who, he introduced us to Rory Williams. A smart, loyal, and combative male companion, not at all enamoured with the Doctor's mystique. At his worst, Rory was made to compete with the Doctor for Amy's affection. At his best, Rory held the Doctor accountable for the lives he brought aboard the TARDIS. With Danny, I felt like this is what Moffat was trying to do again, but this time, it wasn't as successful.

When we're introduced to Danny, we watch him and Clara fumble over their words like teenagers. It's meant to be cute, but their chemistry is non-existent. It feels like watching an episode of Coupling, in that it's painful and causes me to scan the room for exits. Their adorkable awkwardness is supposed to endear us to their relationship, but it seems forced. This is compounded when the Doctor enters the equation. Forcing Danny to fight for something very few of us in the audience believe in the first place.

Once again we find the male companion being forced to compete with the Doctor for the affection of a woman. But in this instance, instead of holding the Doctor accountable, Danny seems to hold the Doctor in contempt. Coming from his own history of military training and PTSD, Danny projects all of his inner struggles onto the Doctor. Which is unfortunate, as Danny's inner turmoil is his most humanistic trait. This wouldn't be the first time in Moffat's era where the Doctor's nature as a hero was called into play. The problem with Danny's appraisal of the Doctor as a general, barking orders, is that he's wrong. And we as an audience know it.

Not only do we know it, but so does the Doctor. The Doctor even gets a character arc over the identity crisis Danny gives him, wherein he realises Danny is wrong about him. Danny, however, never comes around to the Doctor's side. Even in his final moments on screen, he remains combative with the Doctor, in an exhausting refusal to grow as a character. We're supposed to believe he's come to some sort of character growth of self-acceptance by sacrificing his chance at a new life, for the life of a boy he mistakenly killed. Instead, he carries the same chip on his shoulder to his grave.

Danny is a companion wholly failed by writing. Even at his most heroic, it seems in service of making the Doctor look like a buffoon. His mimicking a soldier while yelling in the Doctor's face is embarrassing for everyone involved. Imagine this is your boyfriend meeting your friends. You would be mortified by his behaviour. Now imagine you have to lie about hanging out with your friends because it might make your boyfriend upset. Now imagine this friend is a very dashing person who constantly puts the lives of others before him. Danny and Clara's courtship is a romance by gaslight.

2. Clara Oswald

Clara is a whole other can of worms. I could probably dedicate an entire article to her character. I should clarify that my initial dislike for her character is somewhat mired in personal disappointment. By the time Clara was introduced, we had seen a string of modern human companions. We got the occasional tertiary companions from the future, such as Captain Jack or River Song. But we hadn't had a main companion from the past, future, or another planet. So when Jenna Coleman was introduced as Oswin Oswald, Junior Entertainment Manager of the starliner Alaska, I was very excited. Finally, a companion from the future! I was so ready for the Doctor to go on a quest to save Oswin from the cruel fate of becoming a Dalek. What an exciting storyline that was going to be.

And then we see her as governess Clara Oswin Oswald. Ok... Well at least she's still from a different era, right? Oh, she's dead now too? Oh. Much like Moffat's Dracula, all of this great promise was suddenly dashed against the rocks of a contemporary setting. Sigh. I was so excited. What we're given in “The Bells of St. John,” is a new character with less direction than either Oswin or the governess before her. So much that Moffat had taken to literally modulating her brain with an app. Maybe she's really good with computers now? Sorry friends, much like Rose Tyler's gymnastics and Peri Brown's botany, it's never going to come up again.

And this is the biggest issue I have had with Clara Oswald. She spends most of her screen time fluctuating between what character they're writing her as this week. The writers simply didn't know what to do with her while the Doctor tried to figure out why she's so "impossible." One week she's wacky, one week she's stern, another week she's bisexual queer bait. Her characterisation is all over the charts, which sadly, tracks with her entire storyline. She's a woman, fragmented across time, and so is her personality. And don't even get me started on that impossible girl nonsense.

Steven Moffat once said in an interview that one or two people usually guess his big reveal ahead of time, but that no one had guessed Clara's. Perhaps that's because nobody's fan theory was "It's going to be absolute shite." Instead of just being a woman who gets to be her own person, she has to become the most importantest companion. She has to save the Doctor by being planted throughout his timeline, saving him from the Great Intelligence. You know, by sometimes being born as herself, and other times being born as a Time Lord. Sometimes knowing who the Doctor is, other times having no idea whatsoever. Sometimes having a name that is a play on of Oswald, or Oswin, or Clara. And at no times did it make any kind of sense.

The funny thing is, that for me at least, Clara's character doesn't really become interesting until all of that nonsense is behind her. The Clara I find most compelling is the Clara in mourning. Clara post-Danny Pink is a Clara with focus. Her mood swings seem more from a place of destructive behaviour in the wake of great loss. Watching her hold the TARDIS keys hostage above a volcano was some seriously gripping stuff. Aside from the gross digs at her appearance, I found the Twelfth Doctor's relationship with Clara far more endearing than that of the Eleventh Doctor. It may have taken them until her final moments as a companion, but they did get her right, in the end.

3. Melanie Bush

Back in 2015, I had the opportunity to meet Louise Jameson, who played Leela, my all-time favourite Doctor Who companion. I also got to meet Colin Baker, who was all charm. Also in attendance was Bonnie Langford, aka, Doctor Who's Mel. After having gotten autographs from Louise and Colin, and having circled the convention hall a few times, I decided "Sure, why not. Let's meet Bonnie Langford. It's only 10 quid for an autograph." Upon meeting her, she was a very kind woman, and even still, I was racking my brain for something nice to say about Mel. To save face, I lied a very simple lie. I said, "I really liked you in Doctor Who." She smiled, said thank you, and signed my picture. And I walked away, taking my shitty liar mouth with me.

Because the fact is, I didn't like her in Doctor Who. I found every moment she was onscreen excruciating. From her poodle haircuts, to her 80's disaster attire, to her fat-shaming the Sixth Doctor, to her constant screaming at every little thing, she depressed me. I spoke in my review of "Terror of the Vervoids," just how weird it was that we're never actually introduced to her as a character. Instead, Peri is written off, and suddenly, Mel is there, already chummy with the Doctor. You guys know Mel, she's the Doctor's friend, because we told you she was! Instead of getting to know Mel slowly, we're thrown into the deep end, forced to sink or swim within the curls of red hair piled high. Mel doesn't just come out of nowhere, she comes on strong. Fitness expert Mel here to get your fat Doctor Who loving asses into shape. Drink this carrot juice you geek pig!

Not even in Big Finish audios was I finding myself warming up to Mel. When Ace was introduced, they couldn't have pushed Mel out quicker. I found everything about Ace immediately refreshing. Here was a calm and collected badass rebel that I could get behind. It's ironic then; that it was in the Seventh Doctor era that I have begun to find something likeable in Mel. Much like Clara Oswald,  a changing of Doctors enriched my appreciation for her character. This appreciation didn't come immediately, mind you, it came about around my third or fourth watch-through of "Paradise Towers."

Perhaps it's the influence of Andrew Cartmel, but with the Seventh Doctor, I have begun to appreciate Mel in the snarkiest manner. Mel is best utilised as a commentary on the Doctor/Companion relationship. She's precocious to a fault, she chews scenery, she screams at the drop of a hat, and she is oftentimes a naive idiot. Yet in "Paradise Towers," it becomes hilarious. Like much of the 80's era of Doctor Who, there is a very "2000 AD," atmosphere to the stories, and I could easily see this as a setting for Judge Dredd to drudge through, busting skulls and filling bodies with bullets. Setting the sunshiny persona of Mel against this backdrop is so brilliant that I can't imagine another companion in this story. Where she would usually grate against me, her sharp contrast from the things happening around her is exactly why I began to soften toward her.

Not even the ire from the Kangs could shake Mel's confidence, which is oddly what makes her cool. Or "ice-hot," as they would say. For the first time, Mel's headstrong sense of self makes her a rebel. She doesn't need to follow a crowd to feel accepted. Sadly, very few writers were able to find this core to Mel, but it was enough for me to be able to look at her in a different light. I could finally look at Mel and say I did like her in Doctor Who. Even if it was just for a moment, and even if it was somewhat at her expense. From a very cynical perspective, Mel can actually be pretty fun.

4. River Song

I know a lot of you are probably aghast to see River Song on this list, but I assure you, I have my reasons, and they are not without consideration. I should begin by saying some good things about River. She's smart, she's competent, she's got a healthy grasp on her sexuality, and she's cool. Why then did I not like her very much the first few times I watched her? Well, if you hadn't noticed, the bulk of this list are characters written by Steven Moffat, and once again, it all comes down to writing.

We're first introduced to River in the Tenth Doctor two-parter "Silence in the Library/Forest of the Dead." At first, she's just one of a team of forgettable space scientists on an expedition. However, as she finds out the Doctor is who he is, her entire demeanour changes. Like Mel on steroids, we're given a heaping dose of "Who does this bitch think she is, being all familiar with the Doctor?" Only, instead of it lasting one episode, it's every interaction we have with her character beyond this point. Instead of getting to watch River and the Doctor grow as a couple, we're forced to watch them meet in opposite directions. It is the antithesis of "show, don't tell." Everything about the Doctor and River's relationship is implied. "You're going to love me someday," she promises. Couldn't we just see it play out naturally? Spoilers.

This idea is one that can only really be done on a show like Doctor Who, where things are wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey. The problem is, this doesn't mean that the idea is worth exploring, or even successful. It's made even worse when the relationship implied is one deeper than friendship. The Doctor is famously chaste, married only to his TARDIS and what lies ahead. Because of this, the idea of a person the Doctor will someday trust enough to share his real name and eventually marry carries with it a sizeable amount of convincing. Such a huge shift in the show's dynamic requires a lot of character development. Sadly none of that is to be seen onscreen. Who is Jim the Fish? Who cares? Steven Moffat's joke of "I'll explain later," became painfully prophetic of his time as showrunner.

I've got no complaints about River being a Time Lord, or even her being the child of Amy and Rory. Those elements are fine, really. It's the way in which she is presented which I find most detrimental to her character. I never did buy into the idea that the Doctor loved her as a wife. Their wedding seemed necessary to save the universe, as opposed to a union made out of love. Any kind of enjoyment I've ever gotten out of River stems mostly out of my love for Alex Kingston's performance. Where the show fails to establish her, she more than makes up for in style and substance. I grew to like River Song, despite the show's failure to ground her properly. River grew on me as she always said she would, but by no effort on the part of the writers. River is cool because River is cool, not because it was inferred that she was.

5. Susan

If you’ve followed this blog long enough, you’ll know I’ve already mellowed on Susan. In my reviews of the First Doctor era, I’ve had mostly good things to say about her character. This doesn’t change the fact that I found her utterly irritating at first, and it feels appropriate to talk about it here.

My initial dislike for Susan is a lot like my intial dislike for Clara. A lot of it was wrapped up in my own expectations of the character. Susan is the Doctor’s granddaughter. She is a Time Lord, therefore she should also be brilliant. And we get a lot of that in her first episode. She is mysterious, she’s enigmatic, and she is brilliant. Even her teachers at school found her perplexing. But the show doesn’t continue down that line. In fact, there are times when they make Susan borderline stupid. But how much of this is clouded by my own preconceptions?

For starters, Susan wasn’t a Time Lord. At least, not then. She was just a young girl. She may have been smarter than her fellow students, but this played more into how she was raised. So when the show depicts Susan screaming at every little thing, grabbing her hair dramatically, it smashed apart my mental image of a Time Lord. I couldn’t appreciate that they had her act this way to help sell a bad effect. Oftentimes Susan, like many Doctor Who companions, had her character sacrificed to make the baddies scarier. It was a product of her time, and even still I feel her character suffers for it.

However, one of the things I have discovered through repeat viewings of the First Doctor era is the surprising amount of character development among the TARDIS crew. The Doctor, Ian, Barbara, and Susan all go through deep character development that was sadly often secondary in classic Doctor Who. Before the nature of the Doctor and companions was transient, there was a feeling of a family bond forming. Through this, I have come to find Susan to be a rather deep and sensitive person.

When it comes time to say goodbye to Susan, I can’t say I exactly agreed with the method. The Doctor locking her out and deciding she was mature enough to set out on her own felt hasty. But I would be lying if I didn’t agree that Susan had gone from a little girl to a young woman at that point. When you stop expecting Susan to be the Doctor, and allow her to be a kid, she grows on you instantly.

6. Adric

Let's be honest; it's not really original to hate on Adric. It's nothing new to point out what a bad companion he is, but here we are. Something I constantly endeavour to do on this blog is to be fair. One of my biggest complaints about the Doctor Who fandom is the proprietary attitude people take toward the fandom. The "I don't like it; therefore you shouldn't like it," attitude spat with such vitriol is one of the worst parts about being in the Doctor Who fandom. So when you say "Adric is my favourite companion," I'm not devising an argument for how wrong you are, it's fine. Like who you like. This doesn't mean I'm not also thinking in my head "What? Why?" Because I honestly, without malice, do not understand.

The most I ever enjoyed Adric, was in his introductory story "Full Circle." Setting him against a group of fellow Alzarians dilutes his lesser qualities. In fact, when paired with Varsh, he almost seems likeable. Sadly, we have to say goodbye to Varsh, and it's downhill from there. We're forced to watch a contrarian boy genius butt heads with the Doctor while he waddles around in a toddler's outfit while showing off his pound shop sheriffs badge for "mathematical excellence," to anyone who will listen. Adric is so obnoxious that he makes Wesley Crusher seem likeable in contrast.

However, it's not just his contrarian nature that makes me despise Adric, he's also disloyal to the Doctor and his friends. He's so susceptible to bad ideas as long as they a presented logically, that I've dubbed him the Ben Shapiro of the TARDIS. He's a smarmy little shit who believes himself superior to women, and he's really got no justification for his ill-placed self-confidence. Constantly demanding respect while giving very little reason to deserve it, he's like a poster child for incels. To make matters worse, he's oftentimes wrong and easily duped into taking the side of evil, turning him into more of a liability than an asset.

Recently, the idea that the Thirteenth Doctor could save someone from sacrificing themselves by using the TARDIS at the last moment to save them came under fire. "Why didn't the Doctor do this for Adric?" they said, forgetting conveniently when the Twelfth Doctor did the exact same thing in "Into the Dalek." But yes, why indeed? Why would the Doctor ever let a duplicitous, argumentative braggart die by their own stupid need to solve a math problem? My headcanon is that the Doctor got better at flying the TARDIS. The real reason is that people hated his character. The silence over the credits after Adric dies isn't out of respect for the character. The real reason is that the BBC couldn't secure the rights to Kool and the Gang's "Celebrate Good Times," before it aired.

Listen, I am not unsympathetic toward Matthew Waterhouse. He never should have been given such a big role, considering his utter lack of ability at the time. I imagine it was his own insecurity that fuelled his on-set antics. Giving unsolicited advice to veteran actors is cringey, but also the actions of a young and naive boy, in over his head. I know I said I was going to try and treat the performance as secondary, but in this case, it goes hand in hand. He has the stage presence of a fake. Every moment he's onscreen is disingenuous. The fact that he is present at the death of my favourite Doctor, stinking up the scene is genuine pain to me. If he has been made better in Big Finish, I've not yet heard it. As of now, there is nothing I've seen of Adric that has changed my opinion. But I'm glad if he makes you happy.

[aion-rsa]

Why Evil is the Only TV Procedural Worth Watching

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This Evil article contains spoilers. You can read a spoiler-free review of the show here.

Who knows what evils lie at the heart of CBS’s Evil? Shadows know. We consulted a book of shadows (not the one Leland Townsend (Michael Emerson) skims, too many spoilers there) to cut into the left ventricle of the darkness feeding the network’s supernatural series, now in production for season 2. The blood of the police procedural pumps through the veins of the paranormal investigation show, but Evil transcends the statutes of those limitations. Occasionally by papal decree. The series is intelligent, filled with symbolism, and its main character, who is training to be a priest, drops acid on a semi-regular basis. And he’s not microdosing. Look at those baggies.

Evil doesn’t debunk demonic possession, which is the main thrust of the team’s investigations. It never treats it as campy. The series believes demons are real, even giving the audience a breakdown of the six different forms possession take. But it deliciously stops short of giving full commitment. The show also explores how to parse out personal responsibility when there’s a supernatural being to blame. In episode 7, “Vatican 3,” we learn “the court does not acknowledge demonic possession” in determining guilt or innocence. The series further muddies the waters when the crew has to take a hard look at a murder committed by someone who wasn’t possessed, such as when the parents of what they believed is a demonically possessed child kill him. The series further turns the screw because the kid they killed to save their other children was born evil. It was literally in his genes.

Evil shares DNA with The X-Files, and David Acosta, played with charisma and empathy by Mike Colter (Luke Cage), is the new show’s Fox “Spooky” Mulder. He is looking for answers beyond the veil, which has the same letters as evil, and he is putting the pieces together like a hidden map of old Manhattan. There’s a truth out there and he’s willing to do whatever it takes to understand it. He’s not in it to solve any crimes against venal sins. He is looking for deeper meaning, and this alone puts the series above most procedurals. David’s got a bit of the scientist Dodge from original The Planet of the Apes film in his cinematic character. One of the first astronauts to delve so deep into the outer reaches of space, “He’d walk naked into a live volcano if he thought he could learn something no other man knew.” David is the same. He was a foreign correspondent in war-ravaged Afghanistan who got to know the soldiers whose stories he reported. Truth and knowledge are the most noble of callings, and ultimately come before his religious calling.

While the basic premise of a spiritual believer teamed with a dissenting psychologist is procedural trope, Evil is out to debunk the law of its diminishing returns. First, the show teams David with not just one skeptical voice, but two. Katja Herbers’ Dr. Kristen Bouchard plays the same role Agent Dana Scully played to Mulder, and with a similar arsenal. She comes from a different perspective, though. Bouchard does indeed believe in miracles, but thinks they all have scientific explanations. She is confident the only reason something might defy natural principles is because science hasn’t been applied properly yet. Scully, who wore a cross and took her faith seriously, accepted miracles on faith. David and Kristen rarely come to the same conclusion.

Ben Shakir, played by Aasif Mandvi, brings common knowledge, and shades his skepticism with cynicism. The former Daily Show correspondent takes on the weight of all three Lone Gunmen but with more constructive skills. Before joining the paranormal team, he was a carpenter, just like Jesus. Ben knows how things work, and when everyday mechanisms like sinks or faulty wiring are the root cause of supernatural phenomena, he can turn the screws, and spot the mold. Ben, “the Magnificent,” as Kristen’s children call him, is also tech savvy, and quite capable of hacking hackers.

Evil also throws things at Ben which he can’t easily spackle over with even the best of tests. Try as he may, and he tries, he can’t explain the light of an angel in the frame of a surveillance video. There is no evidence of doctoring, even at the most expert levels. “The world is weird,” David passes off as dating advice when Ben asks about potential girlfriend Vanessa (Nicole Shalhoub), who wants to know she if she should detach from her dead sister before committing to a new relationship. Vanessa thinks she is “tethered” to her phantom sister by the right arm.

Supernatural science is bizarre, creators Robert and Michelle King (The Good Wife, Braindead) believe. They push the show to diagnose causes the external evidence of exorcisms and stigmata, the bleeding wounds which correspond to the wounds on Christ’s hands when he was nailed to the cross. Because stigmatics display their wounds as they are portrayed artistically, rather than how the Romans historically would have done the crucifixion, it proves it comes from a psychological source. Internal belief causes the phenomena, not external spiritual forces. Evil explains that, allowing ample room for skepticism, belief, and even poetic reasons for spiritual incursions. David quotes Shakespeare to enunciate his faith. The concept of free will doesn’t come up in most procedurals. Neither does the way sociopolitical issues are turned into supernatural questions and tied to the origins of evil.

Evil is almost a character in Evil, and has relatable entry points. Real demons first get to Kristen’s four young daughters through an augmented reality videogame. A little girl who never takes off her Halloween mask almost gets the sisters to bury one alive. We don’t know how much of the characters’ perceptions is the result of a demon character’s influence on them. Each character is slowly being tempted by the dark side.

Kristen joined the team as a rational thinker but has had to accommodate uncomfortable ideas and adjust her comfort zone accordingly. In her usual line of work, she’s analyzed the criminally insane, but the show has pushed her into close contact with people who are evil in the Biblical sense. She is being pushed incrementally by forces in and out of her control. Her own mother Sheryl (Christine Lahti) sides with a manipulative competitor, Leland, over her daughter, and he’s made direct threats. The first season can be seen as Kristen’s slow corruption. The second season may see Kirsten apply her skills to her own situation, which will delve further into the dichotomy between the spiritual and pragmatic.

This is because Kristen may have already fallen. The final episode includes a telltale blood stain, which she wills Ben to unsee. On any procedural this is considered a clue, but here on Evil, the evidence actually points further than a mere homicide. It is the first sign that a main character has gone to the dark side. It is confirmed when the touch of a crucifix blisters her hand. There’s no such thing as an original sin and Kristen has been flirting with temptation long before this.

Kristen is a married nonpracticing Catholic who lost her faith. She’s sexually attracted to David, a man on his way to becoming a priest. When this subject was broached on the classic 1970s cop comedy Barney Miller, a prostitute who was supposed to be a young priest’s last fling before he entered a monastery said “I break laws, not commandments.” It feels like Kristen reminds herself of this every time the two of them are on screen alone together. Their sexual chemistry is that palpable. Yes, this is very similar to the long-gesticulating romance between Mulder and Scully, but he was no priest and she wasn’t married. Not only is Kristen married, but she’s got half a brood of daughters. Annoying things, really, but at least one of them has an excuse. Another reason Evil is the only procedural worth watching is because everyone on it just might be cursed. That’s not found in the manuals.

Evil towers over contemporary procedurals in how it’s going dark. Most procedurals chase a morally compromised arc, but Evil treats it like an encroaching corruption. Kristen, who is sworn to uphold the law, may have gone more than rogue vigilante. Besides the crucifix-burning season closing, David has visions of a goat demon waiting for Kristen with a scythe. She’d been tormented by her own personal demon throughout the season but when the George, the demon-like creature who visits Kristen during sleep paralysis, falls on the knife, it changes nothing. He is just one of many demons. One of them set up practice and is taking office hours with Leland.

The Demon Therapist is an all-male Goat of Mendes, or Baphomet. The show gets into how different biblical angels look from how they’re perceived artistically and by the contemporary faithful, but won’t present a faithful representation of Baphomet. It’s as patriarchal as Chilling Adventures of Sabrina. Evil keeps it vague whether the goat demon is real or in Leland’s head. The Demon therapist appears in Kristen’s dreams as well. Lexis (Maddy Crocco) disabled the house alarm for the visiting devil therapist when he invites her to “the next level,” making it seem she is at least susceptible to underworldly influence. The kids are irritating, but they are a bargaining chip and their father, Adam, put them up for grabs when they chanted together offering an exchange of souls. Kristen was co-opted into evil through protective motherly instinct. She doesn’t see the mark of the devil as a badge of honor. When Kristen puts the cross in her palm, she doesn’t look like she expected it as much as feared it.

While the network show will never have the freedoms afforded cable series, the acting is top notch all around. Series like HBO’s Perry Mason or even Showtime’s reimagined second incarnation of Penny Dreadful: City of Angels, provide a wider range of emotion and carnality. But Evil gives us muted, for the most part believable performances, very often underplayed. As are the special effects and use of technology as a narrative device. Too many procedurals treat high tech surveillance and other investigative tools like they are all-seeing eyes which can count nostril hairs.  It has become normalized. Evil doesn’t waste intellectual space with unreasonable gadgets. The tools Ben or Leland use to their computerized ends are believable. At one point, Kristen asks Ben to record a cell phone conversation which is already halfway over. She is surprised he can’t with all his special skills.

The series incorporates real world horrors into mundane life. Even some of the most normal looking settings carry a sense of unease, to underscore the show’s thesis that the supernatural is natural but never quite normalized. Many of the scenes are shot vertically, drawing the viewers’ eyes upward and inferring something is always going on above. The series’ many wide-angle shots put a distance between characters even in close-ups.

The show isn’t afraid to wear its influences on its sleeves, and on several occasions has a lot of fun with it. For Dr. Kurt Boggs’ (Kurt Fuller) arrival at an exorcism, they recreated Father Merrin’s introductory scene in the horror classic The Exorcist, shot for shot, even getting an exact replica of the light post and the same make car, though different year, from the film. They gave nods to Rosemary’s Baby, Misery, Cabin in the Woods, and Children of the Corn.  The climbing ax which Kirsten grabs on her way out to do damage on the serial killer Orson looks like it has teeth. As did the walking stick Lon Chaney’s Larry Talbot carried in The Wolfman. The demon George looks like Freddy Krueger’s good-looking cousin. The tonality of the show is reminiscent of Charles Laughton’s immeasurably influential Night of the Hunter.

The main reason Evil shines above most procedurals is because it is scary, and those scares have been building slowly and deliberately. Commonplace settings feel off, and the world around is filled with conspiracies and coverup. The Vatican asks the team to determine whether a woman who knows the hidden history of the church is a false prophet. The fertility clinic Kristen and her husband Andy used when conceiving Lexis corrupts fetuses with satanic insemination. A witty but innocuous internet meme, Puddy’s Christmas song, is a hummably foreboding earworm. Anything can go evil on Evil.

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Evil season 2 is currently in production. Read more about that here.

The post Why Evil is the Only TV Procedural Worth Watching appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[giveamadeuschohisownmovie]

After going the Ace Attorney games again, here are my rankings of the six main series prosecutors:

(Side note: Still haven’t played any of the Investigations games or the Great Ace Attorney series)

6) Nahyuta Sahdmadhi

Poor Nahyuta. I hate to place him in the last place slot but after going through Spirit of Justice again, he still hasn’t grown on me. Let me just say, I don’t really like Spirit of Justice. There are a lot of aspects of that game I was not fond of, such as the final case being a repeat of Farewell, My Turnabout and the underwhelming Khura’in Civil War storyline. However, in Nahyuta’s defense, I don’t hate the character.

Nahyuta has a decent storyline and he has a unique gimmick. It’s just when compared to the other 5 prosecutors, he doesn’t really do anything for me. His storyline with Apollo feels like a rehash of the previous games (oh, the prosecutor was close friends with the defense attorney? Hmm, where have I heard that before *coughPhoenixandMilescough* *coughAthenaandSimoncough*). Also, he’s not as fun or as interesting as his counterparts. 

Basically, I don’t think Nahyuta’s a bad character, he’s just my least favorite of the prosecutors.  

5) Franziska von Karma

This one hurt me, mainly because I love Franziska. She seems like a fun character outside of the main Ace Attorney games based on her appearances in the Investigations series. However, if we’re going purely with her role as prosecutor in the main series, then I have to place her in the 5th place slot. But it’s not because I think she’s a bad character. She’s great! She’s a fun character to interact with and she has an interesting backstory. The problem is Justice for All.

In my opinion, Justice for All is the worst Ace Attorney game in the main series. It’s to the point that it affected my placement of Franziska on this list. First off, it’s already bad that one of the main cases she’s the prosecutor in is Turnabout Big Top aka the worst case in the entire franchise. But then there’s Farewell, My Turnabout, which absolutely screws over her character by making Miles Edgeworth the focus of the finale. 

Now let me back up. Before you Miles Edgeworth fans jump down my throat, I am aware that Miles is not the prosecutor for the final case in the first game. I am NOT saying that Franziska needed to be the prosecutor in Farewell, My Turnabout. I am NOT saying Miles ruined the story. The point I’m making is that even though Miles wasn’t the prosecutor in Turnabout Goodbyes, he was still the main focus. Everything in that episode revolved around Miles’ past and his relationship with Manfred von Karma. He still got a complete character arc even though he wasn’t the rival. 

In Farewell, My Turnabout, Capcom just went and said, “Go fuck yourself Franziska” and made everything about Miles again. Franziska was barely a presence in that final episode and by the time the game ended, her arc felt incomplete. Yes, the writers attempted to make her relevant to the story by having her be the one to deliver the evidence but just think about that for a second. She’s the main prosecutor of the 2nd game and the most significant thing she did in the finale was deliver items. I honestly feel her appearance in Trials and Tribulations was damage control for how shit she was treated in Justice for All.

Thankfully, it looks like the Investigations games treated Franziska better. But as for the main series, she deserved a whole lot better. I’d love to place her higher but with the storyline she got, I have to mark her down.  

4) Klavier Gavin

I don’t have much to say about Klavier. I think he’s a cool character and he has a kickass gimmick. However, he’s just a mid-tier kind of character for me. Like with Franziska, it’s mainly to do with Apollo Justice / Ace Attorney 4.

People have already pointed this out but the storyline in Apollo Justice feels more like set-up for something bigger. When I first went through Apollo Justice, it felt like there was going to be more to Kristoph Gavin, more to Klavier Gavin. Phoenix Wright was at the start of a different kind of character arc and the Gramaryes/Trucy Wright would be the main focus of the Apollo Justice trilogy, just like how Maya and the Feys were the focus of Phoenix’s trilogy.

In fact, just going off on a little tangent, I already made a post about this but I was thinking that the abandoned Apollo Justice trilogy would lead to Phoenix becoming a Godot-type character. He had the seeds of that character arc planted, with his darker behavior, willingness to bend the legal system to get what he wants (using forged evidence and trapping Kristoph with the jurist system) and a similar reason to become an anti-villain (Godot was poisoned by Dahlia, Phoenix was disbarred thanks to Kristoph). He would then show up in the final game as the main rival, leading to a Phoenix and Apollo showdown.

Sorry, this was supposed to be about Klavier. The point I’m trying to make is, Klavier is a cool character but he feels wasted. Since the 5th and 6th games didn’t follow-up on the 4th game’s story, it feels like Klavier was left behind as a result. That’s why he’s low on the list. 

3) Simon Blackquill

Ah yes, the twisted samurai. For the record, Dual Destinies is my favorite Apollo Justice-era game, so it’s not a huge surprise that Simon is my favorite Apollo Justice-era prosecutor. For me, what makes Simon stand out is that he’s the most “complete” of the three AJ-era prosecutors.

My issue with Klav was that his storyline feels incomplete while my issue with Yuty was that he wasn’t that interesting of a character. Simon doesn’t have those problems. For one, he has the best gimmick between the three of them. It’s an interesting concept to have a prosecutor be an actual death row inmate. What’s cool about that is that the death row inmate gimmick worked for Simon’s character arc.

Dual Destinies set Simon up as the embodiment of the dark age of the law. He was a death row inmate who constantly talked about killing his foes. That’s why the reveal that he’s actually an honorable man who never killed anyone works so well, it’s a strong contrast to how he’s set up. Also, it’s a twist that works with Simon’s character as he’s supposed to be a psychology expert. He plays up his image of a crazy killer to intimidate his enemies. 

Other than that, I also feel like Simon had the best storyline of the AJ-era prosecutors. Also, even though his appearance in Spirit of Justice was a bit silly, it was still fun to see this character in a more lighter tone. 

2) Miles Edgeworth

Yeah, of course Edgey is this high up on the list. Like I wrote, I can’t count the Investigations games as I haven’t played them but even then, Miles had a pretty good run in the main series. He had a strong character arc in the first game, a decent return in the 2nd game, and a strong return in the 3rd game. It was great that you actually got to play as Miles in T&T and that he was the acting defense attorney. For me, Trials and Tribulations felt like the end of Miles’ character arc as he finally became a defense attorney, just like his dad. 

And honestly, Capcom should’ve left him at that. I’m not saying this is why he’s only 2nd on the list but I just want to say, I don’t think he needed to be in Dual Destinies and Spirit of Justice. Yes, I am aware that Miles’ appearances in those games were just fun guest appearances for people who want that AA original trilogy nostalgia. However, I felt that his appearances in 5 and 6 slightly ruined his character arc. 

Why? Because he was back to being a prosecutor. Last time I checked, wasn’t his entire character arc about him becoming a defense attorney? He wanted to be a DA like his dad, he developed a misguided hatred of defense attorneys due to the DL-6 Incident, he was misled into believing that the number one goal of an attorney is to win court cases by Manfred von Karma, he was rescued by his friend Phoenix which led to him reassessing his life goals, he goes on a trip around the world to find himself, and then in the final game, he becomes Iris’ defense attorney, overcoming his initial hatred of DAs and fulfilling his childhood goal.

Maybe it’s just me but having Miles come back as a prosecutor in the AJ-era games feels like a step back in character development. But once again, that’s not the reason why he’s 2nd on the list. I like Miles, but I like the next guy even more. It should be obvious who it is by now.     

1) Godot

Yes, I know, this is potentially a controversial choice. I just wanna say, I don’t care if you love, like, dislike, or hate Godot. Let me write the reasons why Godot is my number one prosecutor.

When I was writing this list out, I was measuring the prosecutors based on several factors. Story, character arc, design, strength as a rival, humor and so on. Just to be clear, I don’t think Godot is the best of all those categories. For example, when it comes to strength as a rival, I’d say Miles and Franziska were stronger opponents. Godot is definitely a mid-tier rival, which makes sense as he’s supposed to be a rookie / defense attorney out of his league. 

So, why Godot then if he’s not the best in every category? Honestly...I’d say it’s the character overall. Regardless of your feelings towards the character, I feel that we can all agree that Godot’s story is the most tragic. 

Let’s recap; Godot’s story is of a good man who was destroyed by a wicked monster. He was then abandoned by the people around him and lost the love of his life. With no one to help him, he let his grief consume him to the point that he became a bitter shell of his former self, obsessed with shaming the people he feels are responsible for the death of his lover. It’s only at the end when he realizes that all of his hatred and anger was just him projecting his own self-hatred onto someone else. That even though it wasn’t his fault, he still holds himself responsible for his lover’s death. However, it’s too late to make amends as he’s damned himself. In a moment of blind rage, he doomed himself by committing murder. 

That is some HEAVY material for a game series that features the main character cross examining a parrot and conveniently developing amnesia just to set up a tutorial sequence. 

Going on another tangent, you know who Godot’s storyline reminded me of? Jax Teller from Sons of Anarchy. Both characters started out as honorable men who were deeply in love. Then, tragedy struck. They lost the love of their lives and, in their final character arc, they took their rage out on everyone. Sons of Anarchy season 7 is still some of the most devastating TV I’ve ever watched and part of the reason was because of how sad it was to watch Jax fall. He fell so deep into his rage and anger that by the time he got his revenge, he burned so many bridges that the only place his character could go was death.

Same with Godot. He’s a damn Shakespearean tragic protagonist in that he was ultimately undone by his own rage and anger. You can sympathize with him based on how he came to be but at the same time, he destroyed himself. It’s a devastating character arc and, as someone who loves Shakespeare and all things theater, I absolutely loved it. It’s the one character arc that has stuck with me after going through all six games over again, even more so than Miles and Simon’s arcs.

In addition to all of this, the fact that Godot’s character arc tied the entire trilogy together is definitely worth noting. From his storyline, the game tied together Mia Fey’s death, highlighted Mia’s importance to the main storyline, and even set up Trials and Tribulations’ main villain, Dahlia Hawthorne. I love it when stories do that, when the character arcs actually work hand-in-hand with the story that the writer is trying to tell. 

On some smaller notes, Godot definitely has the best character design in my opinion. Also, the best character theme (I still have the Fragrance of Dark Coffee playing in my head). Lastly, he has the best case in the original trilogy (Bridge to the Turnabout), as well as the best moment (the original pursuit theme plays when you expose the knife wound underneath his mask). 

So yeah. In my opinion, Godot is the best Ace Attorney prosecutor. Those are my reasons, feel free to disagree if you want.   

[darkhymns-fic]

The Cutest Maid for Me

After suffering a humiliating fishing defeat, Estelle needed some cheering up. And Joshua only knew one way he could do that, no matter that it was a little embarrassing... 

Fandom: Trails in the Sky/Sora no Kiseki Characters/Pairing: Estelle Bright/Joshua Bright Rating: G Mirror Link: AO3 Notes: Written for @taco-night-frenzy​ who I love dearly. It was her birthday yesterday! So here’s a gift of Trails! (Estelle is very fun).

The road to mastery was never easy. It was full of hardship, doubts and sometimes even pain. But Estelle had known her share of all of that – and she would achieve all she could despite whatever setbacks would come her way.

She threw out her fishing line with an expert flick, grinning in satisfaction when the hook made a soft plunk! as it bobbed onto the lake’s surface. “Ha! Beat that, Lloyd!”

The man standing next to Estelle on the dock, an expert fisherman that she had run into more times than she could count, rubbed his chin. His bushy moustache caught the sun's rays, burnishing it with a deep azure. “Hmm…impressive. You have a good wrist there. Nice arc on the line, and the bait is reaching deep enough into the water but not too much.”

“Heh,” Estelle huffed out with a smirk, one hand on her hip as she held the fishing pole in the other. She was already a master after all. The Fisherman’s Guild had recognized her talents long ago! But it seemed that one of their members wanted to put her to the test still.

Valleria Lake was no stranger to Estelle or to Lloyd. It was here where they had met each other long ago, back when Estelle had been a much lower-rank Bracer, and when Lloyd was just another regular fisherman. The Kingfisher Inn had been on the way for her and Joshua’s travels, and they had decided to rent out a room there, happy with some of the memories it brought them, as well as their much needed rest from so much traveling across Zemuria.

It seemed to be fate that she and Lloyd would meet again here at this very same place.

“Flattery isn’t going to save you.” With a turn to the fisherman, Estelle Bright, B rank Bracer and Legendary Angler, tried to give the man some hope. “But it has been a while since I seriously fished. Currently out doing my Bracer duty and all. Takes up my time a lot.”

Lloyd nodded, taking in her words with the utmost solemnity. “I apologize for interrupting you with this Angler’s Duel. It brings me back to when you were only a rookie… To see how far you’ve come!”

Estelle was not only the best at being a Bracer and being a fisher, but also at humbleness. She was humble as hell! Estelle started to laugh good-naturedly, to show off more of that humble nature of hers! “I’ve grown up! And I’ve learned plenty along the way!”

The last time she and Lloyd had dueled, she had been more hesitant, a bit greener around the gills as it were. (That was a fishing pun! She knew these things now because she was a fisher). But after all her experiences and finally finding Joshua, Estelle was confident, and of course much stronger. As proof, she was already feeling a nibble on her line! But she restrained from going ahead and reeling it in just yet. With that same smirk, she let the catch slip away, the ripples of its escape dancing across the water’s surface.

Lloyd was understandably confused. “Why didn’t you go and catch it? You had it!”

“It was just a small-fry. I’m here to get bigger game.” Estelle turned back to Lloyd with her most humble grin. “And I wanted to give you a head-start! Now you should show me what you’ve learned over this last year!”

Estelle may have also felt a bit competitive lately. Joshua would rarely fish with her as it was, even now! Maybe Lloyd would give her a challenge that she’d been lacking!

On their last duel, Lloyd had been fired up as they competed, but he had also floundered (another pun!), missing multiple catches in a row, allowing Estelle to claim sweet victory. But even if he had improved, she knew she could be better.

Lloyd stared hard at the lake, still rubbing his chin, his moustache absolutely brimming with energy. It was amazing how little the fisherman had changed at all for the past year. He even wore the exact same clothes! She recognized that green jacket, his leather belt, those brown pants…were those even the same shoes?

“Fair warning, Estelle. While you’ve been busy…I’ve been honing my own skills!” And there it was, that fiery look in the man’s eyes, that drive to fish to the max! At first, Estelle thought these fisher guys were a little weird, but she understood completely now.

“Then show me what you got!” she goaded on with a laugh. No matter that she let her line sink a bit into the water, that her form was more relaxed. She had this!

“Gladly!” That was when Lloyd went to his side of the pier, walked over to the fishing rack with multiple rods placed alongside each other…

…and pulled out two of them. Both of them crafted to perfection, their wood carefully polished, and their lures as bright as any scrumptious bait that the fish would be hungering for.

“My double fishing technique is going to leave you out to dry!” Lloyd stated proudly. “You’ll have to catch up to me now!”

Estelle blinked, her humble grin completely wiped from her face. “Wait…wait, two? You can have two? Isn’t that against the rules?” The Fisherman’s Guild had rules, didn’t it?

“This is an advanced technique proposed by Mister Fisher himself!” Lloyd waggled his thick mustache in pride, then whipped out both rods towards the giant lake. “Hiyaaaa!”

Estelle had not been prepared for this at all. She floundered (no!!) with her own fishing pole, just able to grab at it before it fell into the water. She then turned to Lloyd with a grimace. “I’ve been away from the Guild for over a year! I didn’t get any news about using double fishing rods!” Was Lloyd trying to trick her? It would make sense, as it would be the only way to beat her…

Lloyd faced the lake with that same fire in his eyes, one fishing rod in each hand. Already the lines were pulling on both! So fast!

“Better not just stand there gawking now!” Lloyd said. “Or I’ll be winning this duel in style!”

“How can you fish with two fishing rods!? How are you even going to reel them in? It makes no sense!” It would be like if Estelle used two staffs instead of one! Their weight would hinder her and would make it harder to do her moves! Sure, Joshua used two swords to fight but swords were different and he was always weird about stuff like that anyway…

Lloyd though, seemed to have no trouble with his catch. With another triumphant shout, he stepped back on the pier, and pulled on both rods with a flourish. The water, from where the lures were descended into, burst upwards in a glorious array of colors. The sun caught the droplets, fell onto Lloyd’s hair and moustache, all as the fishing lines curled around him, as if they were a part of him...

From both hooks hung two wiggling basses. Lloyd stood tall. “Now see if you can beat that! I gave it my all, and now got my all twice-over!”

Estelle blinked. “Muh? But those are just- argh! Never mind! You’re on, buster!” She took her fishing rod in both hands, gripping it as she would with her staff, and readied herself for her next move.

She wasn’t going to lose!

It was only an hour later before the door to Joshua’s and Estelle’s room in the Kingfisher Inn opened so forlornly that Joshua had barely noticed it at first. Except well, that wasn’t entirely true. Trained to be a hyperaware killing machine, he noticed it right away actually. It was just…it had opened so pathetically he didn’t even feel he had to be on his guard.

And going by the soft footsteps, Joshua had already known who it was.

“Is everything alright, Estelle?” he asked. Seated at a small table next to the window, he closed the book he had been reading. The fascinating history between the exotic fruit traders of the Calvard Republic and the Erbonian Empire would have to wait. “I was getting worried.”

Estelle’s position was so slouched, she might as well have been dragging her head across the floor. As it was though, it was mostly her twin ponytails, probably catching every piece of dirt and lint on the way. “Joshua…”

He got up, now overly concerned. Eyes hard, he knelt before Estelle, grasping her shoulders. “Did you get hurt?” Was it the agents of Ouroboros? Or had Estelle found Renne but couldn’t get her back? “Tell me what happened.”

She collapsed to the floor, knees tucked underneath her. It seemed that all of her previous zest for life had completely left her. How could someone extinguish her light so easily? “…Joshua…”

He gripped her shoulders tighter. “Estelle…please tell me.”

She finally raised her eyes to him, on the verge of tears. “I…I lost!”

“Lost what? Did you…?” So she must have found Renne then. Estelle would feel so guilty at losing her already-

“The Angler’s Duel! I lost!” Estelle’s once broken voice was then tinged with disbelief, a pout in her tone that Joshua could recognize anywhere.

“…You lost a duel?” Joshua questioned, then sighed. The fire in his amber eyes cooled instantly. “Is this just about fishing?”

“It’s not just that!” Estelle than stood up, leaving his hold. “I didn’t just lose a fishing duel! I lost my reputation!” With a frustrated groan, she sat on the bed, muttering under her breath. “Stupid…two rods…not even fair…”

Joshua got up from the floor as well. At least it hadn’t been anything too serious. “You’ll get over it. Why don’t you have something to eat at least?”

“I’m not even hungry!” Estelle whined, obviously lying but Joshua would let her ride that anger out until her stomach started growling at any moment. “I just wanna sleep and forget it all…Leave me to wallow in my shame…” With another sigh, Estelle let herself fall backwards onto the bed to finally sleep away her defeat at the hands of Lloyd, already feeling drowsy while halfway to the pillow…

“Estelle, watch out!”

Bam!

“Owww!!” Estelle sat up instantly, clutching the back of her head in pain. The metal rim of the bed’s headboard had a nice big dent from where her skull had collided into it at full speed. “Why was that even there?!”

“We’ve been sleeping in this bed for the past few nights, you should already know by now…” Joshua sat next to her, massaging the back of her head with his hands. “There, there…”

“Waaa…what if my skull is broken?”

“It’s not broken.” Joshua gave her head a gentle pat. “You’ve got the thickest skull in all of Zemuria.”

“…You’re not that great at comforting, you know.”

“I know.”

As Joshua rubbed that forming bump on Estelle’s head (wouldn’t be the first time either), he could feel Estelle beginning to wind down from earlier. “Since when do you want to skip out on dinner? Come on, we can get you something from the downstairs kitchen.”

And for a moment, Estelle looked as if she would listen. It would be nice just to eat together, especially after all of their hard traveling throughout the continent, searching for any traces of Renne where they could. This familiar inn by Valleria Lake was supposed to be their moment of rest, and he was going to make sure Estelle got that.

She gazed up at him, that bump on her head almost like a halo with the way it framed her…It was really that big. Maybe Joshua needed to get Estelle to a doctor…

“Hey, Joshua…You know what would make me happy?” Estelle said, interrupting his thoughts. Her eyes were as bright as the sun, the same sun that had shone through his seemingly everlasting darkness.

He knew exactly what she was asking for then.

Joshua lowered his eyelids halfway, distant and empty of all meaning. His hands slid from her head, hanging now from his sides. “No.”

“Come onnn!” Estelle placed her fists underneath her chin, as excited as a kid who just caught a gigantic, wriggling, completely disgusting beetle in her bare hands. “It’ll be great!”

“I can’t keep doing this for you every time you get sad, Estelle.”

“But I’m injured! Look!” She ducked her head, showcasing more of that bump that poked through her hair. “Looook!!”

“I’m looking! Now please stop!” Joshua lost his cool demeanor. With Estelle, he could barely keep it up for very long. “…Do I really have to do this for you?”

“But you like it too, Joshua!”

He sighed in long-suffering defeat. Joshua knew when to pick his battles, and with Estelle, there was just no winning. Not when she looked at him like that. “Fine. Give me a minute then.”

“Yay!” Estelle reached out to hug him, her pain of past losses (and actual pain) already leaving her so quickly. “You’re the best!”

“I’m only wearing it for a little while! I don’t want anyone seeing it…” With that proclamation, Joshua went to the window and pulled the curtains closed. The sun outside was shut out, with no more view of the grand lake.

“You don’t need to be embarrassed, Joshua! It looks good on you!”

Joshua could control every action of his body – even down to the very core temperature. But not when it came to Estelle. He was weak to everything she threw at him; from puppy dog eyes to the multiple bugs she had literally thrown at his face. He could already feel his face burning a bright red. “Estelle, come on…”

She was grinning, already looking very excited, and he couldn’t let her down. Not after everything she did for him.

“…Don’t take pictures this time,” Joshua said before he went to an extra room in the back, quickly pulling out a dark garment from one of their packs. “I mean it.”

“Oh fiiine,” Estelle said, but she was still smiling just before he turned away to change.

She really had him wrapped around her finger, didn’t she?

Even though only a few minutes passed, Estelle easily got impatient. Even more so now with the throbbing on her head. That bump really hurt! These beds were clearly a safety hazard. The Kingfisher Inn needed to get their standards up for sure! But she would fulfill her Bracer duties later on. Right now, she only wanted one thing!

“Joshua!” Estelle yelled. She had gone to seat herself at the table, pushing whatever book was on there more to the side, more away from her. (She had looked through it earlier and saw no pictures, so it wasn’t that important anyway).

“Hold on!” She heard Joshua call from the back. “This isn’t the easiest thing to put on…”

“I can help!” she said ecstatically. “Want me to help?”

“No!”

“Aw…”

But Joshua didn’t keep her waiting long. Finally the door to the back room opened. Estelle was practically vibrating on her seat, her twin ponytails nearly perked up the same way animal ears tended to do…

“Uh, are…you sure you’re alright?” Joshua asked. He pressed down on the front of the maid’s dress, looking shy as he did so. The material was pitch black, decorated with white frills alongside its sleeves and the hem, which was outfitted with a white apron on the front. He looked exactly like how he did back at Grancel Castle when they had to be in disguise, only lacking the long-haired wig he had worn last time. But it didn’t detract from his presentation at all. “That bump on your head looks like it’s getting bigger.”

Estelle waved away any health concerns. “Psh, I’m fine! I’m better than ever!” She was too busy looking over at Joshua in his maid’s uniform, complete with the white cap. “I just need my maid to serve me my food!”

Joshua closed his eyes, and in his arms brought up a picnic basket that had seemingly appeared out of nowhere. “Of course…Lady Estelle…”

“Hehe, yeah!” She pumped her fist in the air. This was great!

“But seriously, I’m not even sure how you were able to keep these maid outfits at all.” He looked down again at what he wore, down to the prim stockings and shining shoes with the heels just a tad too high for him. “These are supposed to only belong to Grancel Castle.”

“It’s a secret technique!” Estelle said with a wink, careful to not let slip the fact that the simple act of asking the other maids for spare clothes had been the solution. But she was too busy staring hard at pretty Joshua and the food he carried just for her! When he dared to walk closer to her, she then tugged on the hem Joshua’s dress, pulling him nearer. “C’mere!”

“Estelle, stop! I’m gonna trip!” Joshua complained, still struggling with the stockings he had put on. But despite being expertly trained ever since at a young age, he apparently could not sidestep quick enough to avoid landing right in Estelle’s lap, picnic basket bouncing over his knees.

“Hehe, got you just where I want ya!” she said gleefully. “Remember to feed me!”

“Well, can you at least hold still?” Despite his complaints, his voice had been soft, and his actions even more demure. He reached into the picnic basket he still held onto…and pulled out a big steak and cheese sandwich that honestly didn’t look to be fit for human consumption.

“You even got me my favorite!” Estelle purred, squeezing Joshua to her chest. “Thank you, thank you!”

“It’s kinda hard to feed you when you’re holding onto me tight…” Joshua was able to free himself from her arms, then held up the big sandwich to her, trying to not let any of the condiments fall out of its loose hold. “Uh, dig in?”

Something about this meant something much more to Estelle than just satisfying her hunger (although that was a big plus).

When they had been in small town, seeming so long ago, Estelle had felt so content seated next to Joshua on the bench, eating the freshly-prepared sandwiches they had gotten earlier from the market. She hadn’t realized the extent of her feelings then, even as she caught the soft catch of the light reflected in Joshua’s eyes, memories caught in amber. Because Joshua knew and remembered so much, more than she had been able to. Unlike her, he had always known.

She had got to be so up-close to him as she force-fed him their food, something about that moment engraving itself into her very heart. She wanted it to stay locked their forever.

Joshua still had those same eyes, though accompanied by a gentle blush on his cheeks. He looked away, towards the floorboards that connected to the far-right wall of their room. “Why are you staring so much, Estelle?”

Even his voice could always take away her breath so easily, but she was able to stay upright, to stay in control (even if her head still felt a little woozy), all while carrying the boy she loved in her lap. “Because I want to! Do you not like it?”

“I mean if you’re thinking weird things about me, then maybe.”

That only served to tickle Estelle, swinging her legs all excitedly as she continued to hold Joshua. “Not that weird! Maybe a little!” And before he could question it, Estelle could no longer resist. She took a huge chomp right out of the sandwich Joshua held out to her, leaning forward enough to catch the look of utter surprise on his face. It was even cuter when he was in the maid outfit!

“Ow! Estelle, you just bit my fingers!”

“Mmph? Somphy!” Estelle apologized through a muffled mouth. The sandwich was still good though!

“It’s…fine…” Joshua sighed again, but he hadn’t shifted from her lap. He continued holding the sandwich, closing his eyes, trying his best to stay peaceful. “I’m getting used to it.”

“I didn’t bite that hard this time!” Estelle said after swallowing her food. “Give me another! And don’t we have some cookies in there too?”

The time passed peacefully, for Estelle at least. After already scarfing down the sandwich and only biting at Joshua’s fingers two more times, they both started to share some chocolate chip cookies. Estelle felt like she was flying high in an airship, eating scrumptious cookies right out of Joshua’s hand. And she was more careful with her teeth this time!

After a while, Joshua looked to be at more ease, but every so often, he’d stare at Estelle, looking ready to speak but then pressing his lips together firmly. After about the fifth time, she had to ask him about that.

“What’s wrong, Joshua?” she said, spilling crumbs from her mouth. “Is the dress too tight?”

“It…Well, kinda.” He shook his head, all while brushing aside the crumbs to keep Estelle from making a mess. “Just, you haven’t really ever explained why you keep wanting me to wear this.”

“Hm, why not though? It’s fun!” Estelle’s face glowed with pride. “Is it because I can’t match with you? Maybe next time I can buy a pair!”

“It’s not that… And, you didn’t really answer my question.” Here, Joshua acted a bit more serious, or as serious as he could, still perched on Estelle’s lap. “Can you please tell me?”

It made Estelle think for a moment, even as she continued to chew on her cookie. It did give her a moment to think on it, and after a while, a soft smile broke through.

“I just think it’s nice…Because, well, maybe you haven’t noticed, but usually you’re the one that gets me all flustered instead.” Estelle’s cheeks brightened at the mention of it, remembering all those times when Joshua would nearly leave her speechless, turning all her thoughts into mush. “I’m so weak when I’m with you…like, in a good way, but still..”

She reached to take one of his hands with her, raising up her gaze to meet his eyes. “And now look at you! You’re like putty in my hands! Or my lap, I guess. And I like that. I like that I know that I can affect you the same way. It makes me feel even closer to you.”

Joshua was quiet as she spoke, still sitting quite easily on her lap, hands clasped together neatly as Estelle held on. He was really pulling off this look well. “Estelle…”

The wolfish grin she sported should have warned him then. She leaned in for a quick kiss on his cheek. “There!”

Stammering, blushing, and all around red in the face, Joshua was the complete opposite of his usual calm self. “E-Estelle!”

“What? You do that to me plenty!” To demonstrate further, Estelle leaned in to kiss Joshua’s other cheek, tapping her Stregas on the floor as she did so. “See?”

“I’m…not used to this…” he admitted. “And without the wig, I just look stupid. I really don’t understand how you like this.”

Estelle tilted her head, then shrugged. “I dunno. I just do! You look cute!” She poked at his sides then. “And so shy too!”

“Y-you know I’m ticklish there!”

“Yeah, exactly!” And she kept going, kept tickling to Joshua’s protests before she started to slow down slightly. “But maybe…stop spinning around so much, you know…”

“Estelle?”

“Ehe…” With her goofy grin, Estelle leaned in once more, looking like she was about to kiss him on the lips right then and there. Not that they haven’t already. Joshua had even been the one to take her first kiss too. But now it seemed like she would do the same almost…

Of course Estelle ended up falling backwards on the floor, bringing Joshua down with her.

His reflexes came in time to get him moving, to get to his feet and grab Estelle before she would hit her head against the floor. “Hey! What’s wrong?” he asked, genuine worry in his voice, his dark locks frayed about his head as he looked at her with concern.

“…I may or may not have a concussion,” Estelle said with a lazy wink. “Hehe…”

“Estelle, that’s not funny! We need to get you to a doctor. There should be one in town.” Joshua went to carry her up in his arms with a groan. As he cradled her head, carefully keeping it level, he looked at with her with maid-like disapproval. “You’re so troublesome sometimes…”

“I’m not troublesome…I’m Estelle!” She shook her head, her smile just a bit lop-sided. “Maybe it’s you that needs a doctor instead…”

“Alright, sure. Come along, Miss Troublesome.” Joshua headed straight for the door to their room, reaching to unlock it. “Try not to fall asleep, okay?”

“Hey…you’re still wearing the maid’s dress, you know?” she pointed out, even as the room was definitely getting all spinny now. “Thought you didn’t want people to see…”

“We shouldn’t waste any time. You need to get checked up.” But she saw that blush on his cheeks, even as he tried to play himself off as the cool Joshua Bright that she knew since childhood. “And it’s not so bad anyway…can move pretty freely in this.”

Estelle could feel the smile on her face. Maybe it was too wide and manic if she went from Joshua’s worried expression, but it didn’t matter. She laid her head against his shoulder, knowing that no matter what, he would always be there for her.

[chibivesicle]

Golden Kamuy chapters 218 & 219.  Everything is wrong in regards to panning for gold.

Chapter 218 starts off with the man that Sugimoto saved from the bear.  Which really as soon as he mentioned the scrape on his forehead was a recent injury (and no obvious signs of being chewed on by a freakkin’ bear) I’m going to go with the fact that there is no bear.  Or that this man IS the bear. Why?  Based on what he thinks about Sugimoto.  That Sugimoto is so nice!

You know who thinks Sugimoto is nice?  Criminals!  Henmei and the con artist Suzukawa.  Anyone who thinks Sugimoto is nice is almost always a dangerous person.  His brother apparently catches up to him and we learn his name is Heita (who really has to be a dangerous person).

Shiraishi then asks if he’s a gold prospector due to his fancy boots and Sugimoto then smiles awkwardly as he admits his poor experience searching for gold himself.  The older brother Taka is immediately suspicious as he looks at Sugimoto and Shiraishi, while Heita is just more interested in their plans.

I’m sorry Heita but your facial expression this panel really is making me nervous and Sugimoto is terrible at reading creepy and dangerous people in situations like these where he either saves or protects them.

Heita declares that there is still plenty of gold dust to be found while an younger brother? and his older brother are suspicious, since they do have 2 rifles, bayonets, the fact that Vasily also carries a pistol and Asirpa has arrows and knives.  The putative father points out that robbers wouldn’t save them.

The next page reveals a very attractive woman who has come out to inquire about their unique looking group.  She looks like she could be a seductive woman and she remarks on Vasily as a foreigner and Shiraishi winks at her to define them as comrades while Sugimoto annoyed decides to define them as a rabble in english.

I would take this to mean that Shiraishi’s using a more positive spin on their group while Sugimoto is distancing himself from Vasily.  The longer they travel with Vasily, I can’t help but think Sugimoto will see him more and more like Ogata.  Silent and observing them. Taka then angrily tells Noriko to head back to their tent and she seems annoyed by his order.

There are a few pages of gold prospecting 101 from Heita to Sugimoto and Shiraishi.  They try to do things while Asirpa just stays behind on shore giving minimal support by heating water so they can try to work in the freezing cold water.  Heita and his family are using a more effective way to look for gold and it seems that perhaps due to their friendship with Asirpa, Sugimoto and Shiraishi may not ever have a shot at finding gold since as an Ainu, she believes this is one of the mistakes people made polluting the river. I think it is a bit of a karmic reminder that they know enough information now, to realize they shouldn’t be doing this and if they do it - it won’t work out for them b/c they are friends with Asirpa and Shiraishi has even had the Kiro’s tour of Karafuto to explain the rights of the native peoples of the east/north.

And Shiraishi even knows this as he declares it just isn’t going to work for them.

Again, Shiraishi is the voice of reason.  Just follow through on things Shiraishi, you are getting there!

Just as Sugimoto is about to give up as well, Heita tells them about gold that is mixed with platinum, and his family seems uncomfortable with him telling them so many points that they must have been keeping secret from others.

The next few pages are more description of the rising interest in platinum metals from miners and the value is increasing.  It can be used in fountain pens which were become more popular in Japan and now they didn’t need to import it from elsewhere to make the pens.  Therefore, Heita says there will be a second “gold” rush in Hokkaido. 

Even though he’s factually correct, I would not trust to work with this man!  He looks like a smaller version of Usami with those eyes. 

Shiraishi and Sugimoto are awestruck and in shock as they look on with sparkle in their eyes as they then firmly hold each others hands and Asirpa looks on from behind them.  They don’t even look at each other when they do this, they just instinctively hold hands.

After this Heita notices the bear again.  The rest of his family can’t see it and no one else can see it either.  Just looking at his facial expression and the creepy font for his statement about the bear getting closer (a likely hallucination) he’s creepy and suspicious as all hell.  Furthermore, he says that the bear is the wen kamuy.  And Asirpa upon hearing that notices the carved bear case on his belt.

Thanks Noda, I now know who the wen kamuy is - it is Heita. 

Sugimoto and Asirpa go to check out where it was spotted.  Yet they don’t find any signs of a bear.  Asirpa clearly states that there is no sign of a bear yet Sugimoto does not believe it.  He fully believes Heita, just like he believed Henmei and Suzukawa (as an Ainu elder).

Then Sugimoto tries to kind of apologize to her by disagreeing with her read on the NO bear status by referring to the white bear a sign that the Mountain gods are angry.  Really Sugimoto?  This is a half-assed attempt to connect with Asirpa’s own belief system.  Yet she just pauses before she states that she wonders . . . The chapter ends with the older father being chewed on by the “bear”.

219 then starts off with Vasily sketching a wren.  For a character who I think is a snow leopard, he does seem to have a cat like tendency to patiently stare at a bird. Asirpa seems to becoming more comfortable with him.  I feel like this is Ogata 2.0, she has a reason to talk to him about a bird.  This also shows that Asirpa is still a non-judgemental person and she really does seem to try to approach others in a neutral fashion despite the fact that Vasily shot Shiraishi in the leg.  This is really Ogata 2.0 since she approached Ogata even though he had fought with Sugimoto with a clear intent to cause harm.

To add to the fact to my now official “I am the Wen Kamuy” Heita hypothesis, she remarks that the wren, Cakcak Kamuy should call indicating there the the bear is.  The lack of its call means there is no bear near by.  The last panel shows a super creepy looking Heita and he’s gotta be the Wen Kamuy.  He explains more prospecting tools and terms to Sugimoto and Shiraishi and then he appears to be almost magical as he tells them where they should look for platinum.  Sugimoto and Shiraishi are obsessed with him and ready to do whatever he says.  He gets them when he agrees to split the money between them equally and they would rather do this than kill the Wen Kamuy.  Asirpa then strongly interjects that gold panning polluted the rivers and everyone lost their focus on hunting.

She tries really hard to convince them otherwise, and they completely ignore her (and her uncle’s words that Sugimoto was already told once before) and they beg Heita to help them, Master Heita even as they bow. Asirpa then inquires about his Ainu tobacco case with the bear on it.  Heita says he worked with some Ainu and they got along well so they gave it to him as a gift.  She replies that it explains why he knew the term Wen Kamuy (and this must also imply that most Japanese in Hokkaido are not familiar with the term).

Sugimoto then tells Heita that they know about the Wen Kamuy and that it has attacked people along the river and then Shiraishi tries to re-assure him that it will be okay b/c Asirpa is their bear hunting specialist to help him relax and help them find the gold.

Asirpa tries to get information from him about the bear’s behaviour and he with the creepiest expression ever - white eyes, Usami shaped says that it has been going on for years and years - implying that this cannot be a single bear that has become a Wen Kamuy.

I assume that he also mumbled this a little since Asirpa turns around in shock as she says “What?” while Shiraishi is encouraging Sugimoto to do his best with him together.  As Asirpa looks back at Heita, his head is awkwardly turned to the side, his eyes a shut as he smiles in a scary fashion and his mouth is completely black.  A few pages before when Heita was speaking you could see his teeth and his mouth was a light grey.  But now, it is totally black which CANNOT be a good sign.  He’s no longer human with that facial expression.

The action then shifts to Vasily drawing by himself.  Noriko asks him to come with her to draw her in their hut.  To give context to her as a character, here are a few tweets form Sei Kobiyama describing the context of her type of character.

The story arc is a combination of Showa pulp fiction and horror stories explaining the creepy factor.  Noriko is also a draw like a typical dangerous and seductive woman looking to do something bad, I’m guessing likely towards a male target.

That immediately comes out as she strips down to pose in the nude for Vasily.  Based on his furious sketching he seems to have found it very inspiring.  However, she catches something out of the corner of her eye and she freaks out!

Some sort of object that she was trying to get rid of is back and at that moment Taka comes to interrupt them and does some major shaming of her behavior.  She seems tired of waiting for Taka and he tries to explain to her to wait a little while longer, it is clear that she’s lonely as they try to find the gold.  The next page then reveals Heita up in a tree watching them kiss as he licks his own lips and then climbs down the tree face first and leaps off like a flying squirrel.  Noda really wants to make it clear that Heita is not okay.  I get it. Thanks. Sugimoto and Shiraishi are trying to pan for gold when they realize that Heita is missing and they panic that something bad may happen to him.  They tell Asirpa to keep an eye on him as the bear expert.  She replies to them if there really even is a bear around. 

But either way, she does take their suggestion to go look around.  Meanwhile, Taka tells Vasily that Noriko is playing a trick on him by taking his binoculars and placing them over on a mushroom growing off of a tree.

Vasily being the sniper that he is, immediately goes to retrieve his precious binoculars.  It is clear that Taka is leading him into a trap, an amappo specifically set up by some local Ainu.

Thankfully, Asirpa manages to save him and points out the signs for others to observe the presence of a trap.

After she speaks Taka appears in the background watching them as it is clear that he sent Vasily there on purpose.  Vasily nods, so hopefully this is showing that he can understand a tiny amount of Japanese.  She then has a full monologue to Vasily about how she’s been trying to find evidence for the bear that Heita has seen. She went as far as looking beyond the described range, found all of the local bears that are all in hibernation so she knows that he’s outright lying.  Since Shiraishi and Sugimoto won’t listen to her - she tells Vasily who can’t even talk back towards her currently.

The big question is now, why is he lying?  Besides the obvious fact that he is a killer based on the Sugimoto is nice rule.

Sugimoto and Shiraishi notice a bear off in the distance and go to find Asirpa.  They caught a glimpse of its butt.  Bear bum spotted. The final page then shows a bear claw around the Father and youngest son, buried in the snow and a final scene of Heita screaming in total shock/fury/I don’t even know what else.

I would guess the bear claw is actually Heita’s foot via “Heita vision”.  The editor’s tag line of “I came, I saw, I devoured” instead of conquered makes me think Heita is the bear and a cannibal.  So where does all of this action in 218 and 219 leave us? First off this is a creepy horror story arc.  People driven by greed to pan for gold in the rivers, out for themselves, not trusting others and wanting to keep others from robbing/killing/stealing from them. Heita is clearly a killer - a Wen Kamuy human.  Shiraishi almost gets the idea that panning for gold is a bad idea, but he gives into Heita’s sales pitch.  Sugimoto and Shiraishi keep ignoring Asirpa and her observations.  I’m obviously biased, but Asirpa is getting a bit of the Ogata treatment/repeat of how Sugimoto ignored her during the Silent Kotan arc.  He should know by now that her observational skills are vastly superior to his.  I’m hoping Vasily will be a stand in for Ogata and he will help out in their battle against Heita and even Taka and his binoculars may be important to that. Sugimoto and Shiraishi are going to freak out when the horror reveal happens. It would be interesting if Asirpa is forced to fight against Heita.  What if she has to kill him out of necessity?  That would be a cool plot point where Asirpa takes down the human Wen Kamuy.  This would be a philosophically interesting point.

The other major theme is how Japanese people are exploiting the Ainu land and this is a bad idea.  I’m sure Heita did not get that Ainu tobacco case through friendly means.  Or, the Ainu gave it to him to warn other Ainu that this man is the Wen Kamuy.  That would be a totally awesome plot point as well! Just based on the fact that Sugimoto is still not quite getting Asirpa’s background shows that this will likely reveal something deeper between them in regards to Wen Kamuy, different cultures and how to really respect each other. Overall, these types of arcs in Golden Kamuy aren’t my favorite, but they are frequently tied to colonialism and the abuse of the natives as this has overlap with; the bear monster arc with the American, boss and princess; the Silent Kotan arc; how Japanese fisherman were over fishing and Henmei was hiding among them and the central theme of wanting the gold. 

[alexthegamingboy]

Toonami Weekly Recap 11/02/2019

JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Golden Wind EP#02 - Bucciarati Is Coming: In a flashback, it is revealed that Giorno, who was once abused by his step-father and bullied by other kids, began being treated with respect after saving an injured gangster, giving him a reason to live. Back in the present, faced with Bucciarati's Stand, Sticky Fingers, Giorno desperately uses Gold Experience to defend himself. Upon striking Bucciarati, the latter's senses to go berserk, giving Giorno the upper hand. Bucciarati creates a dimension-distorting zipper to try and escape inside another person, but Giorno tracks him down by turning one of Bucciarati's teeth into a fly, which attempts to return to his body. Given the chance to finish Bucciarati off, Giorno decides against it, instead asking to join his organization so he can defeat his boss and take over the city.

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba EP#04 - Final Selection: Two years have passed since Nezuko's transformation, and Tanjiro leaves for the Final Selection. Before his departure, Urokodaki warns him that a demon's strength is equivalent to the number of humans it has eaten, gifting him a fox mask with a protection spell. Tanjiro reaches Mt. Fujikasane, where wisteria flowers bloom all year round, creating a prison for demons. The test administrators, a pair of twins, explain that only those who can survive here for 7 days will pass. Tanjiro is soon ambushed by two hungry demons on his very first night. Using a special "Nichirin Blade" that can kill demons without risk of them regenerating, Tanjiro remembers his training and utilises Total Concentration: Water Breathing swordsmanship style, to unleash an attack that kills them quickly. However, him and another applicant come face-to-face with a huge morphed demon made out of ghastly hands. This Hand Demon promises to kill him, recognising Tanjiro as Urokodaki's student from the fox mask, and gleefully admits to murdering 13 of Urokodaki's students since he was captured by the man himself, Sabito and Makomo included. Tanjiro attacks him, enraged. Back at the boulder, Sabito and Makomo's ghosts wonder if Tanjiro can defeat their killer, having failed themselves to slice its neck. Sabito recalls that Tanjiro sliced through the toughest boulder of all of them and chooses to believe. By unleashing an array of attacks, Tanjiro successfully decapitates the Hand Demon.

One-Punch Man 2 EP#04 (16) - The Metal Bat: It is revealed that when Garou was young, he always rooted for the bad guys to win due to the good guys being too popular. When he asked his father, his father replies that the good guys will always win. Garou find that unfair to the monsters because to him the monsters were always the ones trying their best to win, but will lose all the time because they were seen as "freaks." Unwilling to accept the status quo, Garou resolved to become the strongest monster and never lose, and to change the scenario. Garou wakes up from his defeat against Saitama, with no memory of what happened. Garou meets up with Tareo and sees Watchdog Man and Metal Bat, and plans to find them. Saitama signs up for the fighting tournament, and is looking over a list of the contestants of the tournament when Sour Face, a former disciple of Bang, shows up. Sour Face plans to win the tournament to be famous like Bang, and reveals that the year before a contestant named Wolfman won the tournament. However the authorities found the real Wolfman tied up, which is why there's a new rule that if there are any participants that are wearing disguises or is an imposter, then the participant will be disqualified and banned from the tournament forever, as well as paying a heavy fee. It is also revealed that 6 months ago Garou decided that he has nothing left to learn and rampaged through the dojo, disabling many of the students, including Sour Face. Garou then received a beating from Bang and was expelled from the dojo, which also caused Sour Face to quit the dojo. When Sour Face insults "Charanko", Saitama points out that at least Charanko was brave enough to fight against Garou one on one while Sour Face quit, and vows to win the tournament which angers Sour Face. Meanwhile, the Hero Association plans to protect its officials from monster attacks by assigning S Class Heroes. King manages to get away by lying that he's fighting against a secret boss when in reality he is playing a video game. Metal Bat is forced to babysit Narinki, a VIP sponsor of the Hero Association, and his son Waganma at a Mouse Sushi restaurant in S-City instead of watching his little sister play piano. When Metal Bat receives a call from his sister, two monsters named Junior Centipede and Venus Mantrap attack Nanrinki but Metal Bat easily kills them. Suddenly, another monster named Senior Centipede attacks Metal Bat. A monster named Raffleseidon appears and puts on sleeping gases which knocks out Narinki and Waganma. Metal Bat is forced to endure many hits before hitting himself in the head, which pumps adrenaline into his system, rendering the gas useless and enabling him to kill the two Demon Level monsters with one hit apiece. Two local heroes take Narinki and Waganma when a Dragon-level monster named Elder Centipede attacks Metal Bat. During the fight, Elder Centipede knocks Metal Bat near Garou. Thinking that Metal Bat is dead, Garou plans to find Watchdog Man when Metal Bat gets back up. Garou naturally wants to fight Metal Bat, but Metal Bat wants to go back after Elder Centipede. Garou initiates the fight by attacking Metal Bat, and Metal Bat barely manages to block the preemptive blow. In the post credit scene, a martial artist named Suiryu asks two girls to lead him to the Fight tournament.

Dr. Stone Kingdom of Science Arc EP#11 - Clear World: Senku uses quartz sand to produce glass, which he uses to create glasses for the short-sighted Suika. Lacking the skills needed to glassblow useable lab utensils, Chrome brings in a skilled craftsman named Kaseki, who is able to quickly adapt to the unfamiliar substance. To break in their new lab, Senku offers to make Ginro a silver spear as part of a dangerous mission.

Fire Force EP#14 - For Whom The Flame Burns: While chaos reigns in Asakusa with Infernals appearing and people's appearance being changed at random, Konro and Benimaru argue over who should take charge. Benimaru eventually defers and gains everyone's attention. He explains what's happening, then goes after the Infernals while Konro and Company 7 attend to the fires. Meanwhile, Shinra and Arthur face Haran who has become a horned Infernal after swallowing an Infernal Bug. However, Benimaru intervenes and attacks Haran with his Ignition ability. Benimaru launches Haran into the air with his matoi to spare the town, but Arrow fires a flaming arrow towards them. Shinra uses all of his speed to intercept and deflect the arrow, allowing Benimaru to take the opportunity to use his Crimson Moon (紅月 Akatsuki) avility to create a massive explosion which destroys Haran. Shinra catches Benimaru as he falls from the sky, completely spent from the confrontation. Later, Benimaru and Obi share some sake, sealing the friendship between Companies 7 and 8.

Food Wars!: Shokugeki no Soma EP#17 - The Seductive Karaage: Arriving back home, Soma temporarily re-opens Yukihira Diner to serve his loyal customers, including his childhood friend, Mayu Kurase, who has a crush on him. He learns that the Sumire Shopping District has been doing poor business lately due to the arrival of a popular karaage chain shop, Mozuya. Wanting to help revive the shopping district, Soma decides to come up with a competing karaage recipe, calling in Ikumi as his meat expert while Mayu winds up as his taste tester. The three do some recon at Mozuya, where they find its CEO Kinu Nakamozu to be a spiteful woman, before beginning work on a karaage recipe of their own. As Soma takes Mayu's suggestion to use their shopping district location to their advantage, it is revealed that the figure behind Mozuya's success is one of the Elite Ten.

Lupin the 3rd Part 5 EP#20 - Zenigata, Gentleman Thief: Lupin, Jigen and Goemon take a trip to one of their old haunts in Russia to carry out some easy heists. To their surprise, they find another party of thieves already raiding the same targets with their old enemy Zenigata among their ranks. When Lupin talks with Zenigata, he finds that the latter has alcoholic amnesia from a massive drinking bout after another failure to catch Lupin. Zenigata has adopted the alias "Monety" and the modus operandi of his old nemesis Lupin while trying to uncover his lost identity. Unwilling to leave Zenigata in that condition, Lupin and company intercept Zenigata at the site of his next heist. When Lupin and Zenigata escape the crime scene together, the encounter finally snaps Zenigata's memory back into place, and to everyone's relief their relationship returns to its usual state.

Black Clover: Elf Tribe Reincarnation Arc EP#93 - Julius Novachrono: Marx, the Wizard King's advisor, sends word to every squad captain, ordering them to help the Wizard King. Licht's spells cause massive damage to the city, yet Julius holds back so as not to injure Vangeance's body. Julius reveals his Grimoire, which is so large with so many pages it has no cover, just an endless circle of pages around a central spine. Licht comes to believe that as he had planned to unbalance the world by eradicating humans, fate itself conspired to restore balance by creating Julius as the embodiment of order. Licht casts a spell powerful enough to completely wipe out the entire country. Julius recalls his youth as a magic knight, searching for his life's purpose, until he met Zara, Zora's father, who taught him that a true knight should serve the people. After Zara was murdered Julius grew disgusted at the way the class system kept both nobles and commoners from reaching their potential. He decided to become the Wizard King so he could help make the world a better place through the efforts of knights like Asta, Yuno and Noelle. Refusing to give in Julius uses all his accumulated time to reverse the entire country back a few seconds, saving everybody but leaving himself open to Licht who stabs him in the heart. Yami arrives too late to stop him and draws his sword in preparation to kill both Licht and Vangeance.

My Hero Academia Season 4 will air on Toonami November 9 at 11:00 pm EDT.

[rayadraws]

Shitty Teen Squad, babies and King suffers

This is the result of a brainstorming session between me, @criscura, @batneko and @zgirlly. Background is that Genos, Garou and Badd form an unlikely trio of friends - the Shitty Teen Squad. We have Genos as the mom friend slash feral gay, Garou as the vodka aunt friend and Badd as the... chaotic friend, slash mom friend slash recliner friend.

We ended up talking about various things including future children and poor King babysitting said children. While this isn’t explicit, there’s talk/jokes with adult themes, so please bear that in mind before diving in!

(~2k)

A vodka aunt is someone who 'takes others kids out for fun and brings them home loaded with sugar, cranky, and with a new noisy toy' - that’s definitely Garou. One time he takes Zenko to an amusement park. They’re gone all day and she comes home exhausted, very happy and with at least a dozen new curse words in her dictionary.

There are also a few honourary members of the Shitty Teen Squad -

Saitama - considered very uncool (except by Genos) but harmless. Tags along sometimes and has no idea what is going on at any given time.

Fubuki - would never admit to being one in the group, but someone needs to keep these idiots from killing themselves, so she sometimes hovers at the edge.

Mumen - When Mumen shows up, everyone is on their best behaviour all day. If Mumen slips up and says a (mild) swear everyone else is immediately like ”Gasp! Mumen Rider, how could you? Such language!”

A few years pass, and everyone is starting to settle down and starting families. As we have both Mumarou and Batarou fans in our discussion group, we intentionally kept things a bit vague - so go with whatever your preferred ship/parent combo is! But Saitama and Genos are first to have a child, with the others following perhaps a couple years or so later.

Badd is a rather... intense father. His baby girl is not only a princess, but the most amazing princess in the world. He’s an expert at doing her hair and picking out outfits and every time he meets up with the shitty squad, he forces them to look through all his latest photos of her. He and Genos take their kids to playdates, in matching outfits. So many photos...

Zenko, having learnt from the best, turns into a world class vodka aunt herself, taking the kids to outings and having lots of fun with them.

Tareo might not have a reputation as a cool kid among his peers, but to Saitama/Genos’ and Badd’s kid, he totally does. He loves to read to them, and help them identify bugs and birds they see.

Genos, being the first in the Shitty Teen Squad to have become a father, finds himself giving the others advice from time to time. As always, he refers to his journals, and before Badd’s baby is born he has a diaper change demonstration with Garou and Badd, who look on in silent horror - no one has seen Garou look that terrified before. There is much yelling and gesturing, until the demonstration is over, at which point they act as if nothing happened.

(They never talk about their new knowledge, but whenever they spot a distressed parent struggling in public, they offer their services)

After Badd’s baby is born, Genos finds himself receiving frantic phone calls at all hours of the day, including the middle of the night, such as Badd calling (yelling) about how you’ll know the bottle is the right temperature?! - a groggy, barely awake Genos just mutters ”just... listen to whatever your HUD says...”.

Badd’s daughter always looks like a princess, whereas Saitama’s and Genos’ child always has tousled hair and scraped knees and if you’re not sure where she is... she’s probably off climbing the tallest tree in the area.

At this point, the Shitty Teen Squad has more or less evolved into the Brooding Dad Squad. It’s not everyone who gets the honour of being allowed to babysit their kids, but one man does, and the kids absolutely love him - King!

At this point, the children are a little older, and they love visiting King not only because to them, his engine makes him sound like a purring cat, but also because he has the BEST video game collection. Having said that, Badd always makes King hide his collection of sexy anime girls before the children are allowed over:

"This is nasty!!" "It's art, the level of skill needed to make her stand like that is--" Badd, taking off the removable top: "SHE'S TOO HORNY MAN SHE'S GOTTA GO" "///////but--" "Listen the first thing kids do around dolls is strip them she's gotta go!”

King is nervous to have the kids over! But he does his best and it turns out putting them in front of a video game and handing them snacks is quite effective at keeping them still and happy.

The girls are also very interested in King’s merch, despite him doing his best to hide it. Sometimes they find the empty boxes the most interesting (a favourite game is putting King, as the princess, in his box castle and then coming to save him), but other times they are determined to find all his toys. It’s his engine that’s the problem, it goes off whenever the girls get closer to his hidden stash, like echolocation.

"Are all the pretty dress-up dolls in here?" "N--no!! There's--" "They have so many pretty dresses!! I like all the kitty ones!!" "NO, NO KITTIES--"

(The King engine also means it’s super fun to play hide and seek with him! You can never win with Genos, and Saitama tends to lose interest and wander off, or fall asleep in his hiding place...)

One day, as they play house, one of the kids asks King where babies come from, and poor King struggles to explain... after first shutting down and then taking so long to collect his thoughts that the child already lost interest and went to get pudding.

"Babies--are--love--when mommies--there's a bird I DON'T KNOW PLEASE THEY'RE JUST THERE ONE DAY" ”But I have two daddies?” ”LISTEN this is already complicated for me to explain ;;;;;”

At this point, King goes full possum and all but shuts down again until one of the girls poke him, with one of his anime girl figurines (as kids do, the first thing they do is always to undress every single doll, so it’s naturally naked).

When picked up to go home, their girl tells Saitama and Genos that ”King shut down, like Papa”. When they ask why, she tells them what they had asked him. Saitama, bless him, actually calls King later to apologize for the trouble.

(Badd on the other hand immediately blamed King (and his anime girls) for this question)

Said trouble is not yet over, it turns out - while playing with all the merch, Badd’s daughter put a figurine in her mouth and swallowed a part of it. It’s with extreme dread that King calls Badd that night...

”I don’t know how to tell you this but I really, really need that limited edition accessory back, Badd.”

(That whole evening is traumatizing for King - the kids have undressed every single figurine he owns and he has to painstakingly put them all together again.)

Another time when the kids visit they find a pair of scissors. King immediately gets up to remove them, but the older child is quick to tell him that they should play hairdresser - she does this lots at home.

”...with Sai?!”

On that note, the kids will happily tell King all sorts of things about their parents, whether he wants to hear it or not, including 'they like to wrestle really loudly when it's past my bedtime' and how Badd needs to buy a new bed every few months because they always break. Saitama’s kid helpfully supplies that ”Daddy smells like hot dog after. It’s a LOT of smoke!”.

Sometimes it's serious though.... Like one kid says that Daddy is in a laying-down mood again, or Pop has been going out and coming back with bloody knuckles... Other times it can be things like "Well papa likes to wear all clothes, and be pretty sometimes, and daddy uh....... doesn't. So. Yeah."

King does his best to listen to the kids like a responsible adult, down to taking their suggestions: ”Papa likes this kind of skirt, Uncle King!! I want to get it for his birthday!”

The child doesn’t mention that it’s really her preference to have lots of glitter and shimmer, not Genos’, but he loves his new sequin glitter unicorn shirt anyway. In fact, they dress up to match more than once, and the child loves to play with Genos’ hair and makeup stuff:

"PAPA WEAR THE PURPLE EYELINER" Genos: "It doesn't really go with-" Kiddo: "IT'S PURPLE." Saitama: "It sure is." :D

Speaking of things that are pretty, the girls end up falling in love with a particular anime girl in King’s collection - she’s got ombre hair, and pretty bows, and the biggest bow is also her hair.

The bad news: she's the hardest-to-win girl from an ecchi game

The good news: they're making an anime which will probably cut out all the sex

Medium news: since she's the hardest-to-win girl she's unlikely to be the main heroine of this adaptation.

Poor King is struggling to find the least thirsty merch of her that the girls can actually play with. Genos is put to the task of editing together a child-friendly edition of the show that the kids can watch. There’s.... not much left when he’s done.

King: "The... the plot is-" Genos: "There was a two-episode arc about the shy girl losing her bra on vacation somehow." King: "In the game, um, that's where you prove you're a nice guy." Genos: "Why did she only bring one bra on vacation, King." King: ....................

King uses his fame and clout to start commissioning SFW works of this character - sweating the entire time.

Despite himself, after spending so much time watching and editing clips from the show, Genos actually gets invested in the (barely there) plot. The next time King visits their apartment, he’s shocked to find a bit of merch with the shy girl. Genos’ argument is that he ”needed to protect her from perverts!”.

Carefully, King offers him:

”.........I do have the game, if you want to try it” ”.....yes.”

(For the record, Genos’ merch is a cast-off figurine, and he made sure to get her the bra variety pack, so she’s never out)

...King has no idea how this all started, he just wants to live and now he has Badd swinging his bat a bit too close for comfort, while Genos doesn’t say anything... for his eyes says it all (and what his eyes says is keep this away from the kids and also where can I find the latest episode?)

Saitama is chill about the whole thing - like, okay, it’s not for kids but he doesn’t think they’re old enough to understand. Ladies in historic paintings are nude too, right? Right. Best to hide it though, especially since it makes Genos upset.

The biggest prude of the group is actually Garou, who has quite possibly never seen a wild boob and was always so focused on his training - weird feelings? Go punch a sandbag. Hormones going wild? Sudden boner? Time to go run seven miles. To him, sex stuff is private and he’s very much a ”protect the children!” guy.

(Garou is not allowed to give any dating advice, seeing him being in a relationship is due entirely to his partner accepting his weirdly aggressive courting. Garou gives off that 'bringing dead animals as a gift like a cat' vibe, or happily showing off his collection of beaten thugs, as the case may be.)

[v1ntagecassette]

As I’ll Ever Be (Chapter One)

Summary: Roman is a knight who serves beneath Thomas, the newly appointed (and, unfortunately, widely disliked) prince of a medieval kingdom. When he stumbles across a mysterious, yellow-eyed man who offers him a handful of roses and a shining kingdom of his own, he couldn't possibly refuse — but things are not always as wonderful as they seem. (A novelization of @thepastelpeach​‘s "Ready As I'll Ever Be" animatic.)

Warnings: N/A for this chapter

Pairings: Prinxiety, Logicality

Words: 2,600

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There was nothing quite like an October morning on the palace grounds.

Warm autumn sunlight filtered into the courtyard through red-orange leaves, casting dappled shadows over the knights who trained on the field. A gentle breeze carried with it both the clattering of blades and the crisp, cool scent of a brisk fall day. Booming laughter bounced off the weathered stone walls that enclosed the training grounds; most of these laughs, of course, came from one knight in particular, who was in the process of dominating a sparring match with this morning’s challenger.

He dodged and parried with expert skill, anticipating each flick of his opponent’s sword a millisecond before it came. One arm was tucked behind his back — partially to show off, partially because he was curious to find out if he could win that way. He couldn’t help the half-smile that pulled at his mouth as he swung down hard and knocked his opponent off balance.

“Nice one, Roman!” someone called out from the group of onlookers. The knight’s grin grew, and he struck with renewed passion.

Jab, dodge, swing. Watch your step, fake him out, duck, thrust, lunge —

A sharp clang rang across the courtyard, and the opponent’s blade found a new home on the cobbled stones beneath his feet. The onlookers roared in approval; Roman raised his arms in celebration of his victory, allowing himself a small bow in their direction before turning to shake his opponent’s hand.

“Maybe next time, friend,” Roman told him. The other knight scooped up his weapon and jogged back toward the crowd just as another figure — one clad all in black, with a leather satchel slung across his shoulders and a windswept look about him — emerged from behind it.

“Make way for the messenger,” a knight said, giving a mock tip of an imaginary hat as he passed.

“Ah, Virgil!” Roman waved him over. “Just the man I wanted to see. Up for a sparring match?”

The messenger arched an eyebrow. “You do realize I have a job, right? I don’t come out here every morning just to swing a knife with you.”

“Well, you’re much more skilled with a blade than these fellows. Quite frankly, I could use the competition.” Roman gestured vaguely at the other knights (and grimaced when he realized they were listening). He raised his sword in Virgil’s direction, pointing at it with his free hand. “Just one round?”

Virgil made a face like he was still deliberating, but he had already tightened the strap on his satchel. “One round,” he agreed. Roman beamed at him as he drew his dagger.

These morning sparring matches had gone on almost as long as Roman had had his knighthood, but they never failed to put a spring in his step. He lunged and dodged with expert precision; he revelled in each clang of blade against blade. A grin, even bigger than the last, graced his lips as he and the messenger danced around each other, laughing and ducking and spinning across the bright green grass, putting on a show for the onlooking knights.

Roman watched as Virgil swung at an opening, then intercepted him at the last possible second, catching their blades in a perfect X that flashed with refracted light.

“You’ll have to try harder than that!” Roman said, and Virgil smirked at him.

“I plan to,” he said. He leapt backward, and the fight resumed.

For nearly a minute, it was unclear who had the upper hand. These fights were always a toss up; they were almost perfectly matched. When Roman struck, Virgil parried. When Virgil jabbed, Roman jumped. It seemed as though this fight could go on for eternity without ever declaring a winner —

— and then Virgil’s dagger flew from his grasp, soaring in a perfect arc that caught the sun just right before it clattered to the ground some three yards away. He heaved a sigh, and Roman laughed.

“Well fought!” he said. He closed the space between them with two short strides and clapped Virgil on the shoulder.

“Likewise,” Virgil huffed, rolling his eyes and making the trek across the courtyard to where his dagger lay innocently on the stones. “Now if you don’t mind, your worship, I’ve got messages to deliver.”

“Any for me?”

“Always for you,” Virgil chuckled. He slipped the dagger back into its scabbard at his waist as he knelt to the ground, rummaging through his bag. “You should know by now that you’ve got a fan club.”

Roman placed his hands on his hips in what he hoped was a nonchalant gesture (but definitely wasn’t). “Oh, I wouldn’t call it that.”

“A small horde of admirers that send you love letters every day?” Virgil scoffed. “Yeah, fan club.”

“They’re not love letters!”

Virgil tugged one from his satchel with a flourish. “Sir Roman,” he read in the most theatrical tone he could muster. “Not a day goes by when I don’t send my thanks to the heavens for your rescuing me the week before last. At night, I dream only of your —” he paused to stifle a laugh “— your beautiful eyes, and —

“Okay, okay, maybe that one is a love letter,” Roman conceded, snatching it from the messenger’s hand to read the rest. “But can you blame them, really? I am very cool.” He swung his sword in an intricate circle around his right wrist for dramatic effect.

“So cool,” Virgil deadpanned. He peered up at the sky, shielding his face with the back of his hand, and squinted. “I should go. It’s already getting late.”

“Don’t have too much fun without me!” Roman said, sheathing his sword to take the rest of his letters.

“Oh, I plan to,” Virgil said. He walked backwards to face Roman as he pulled his cowl up over his head, giving a short, two-fingered salute before turning around and hopping the brick wall that led to the main castle grounds and the city beyond them.

Once Roman had finished waving at Virgil’s increasingly distant figure, he turned back to his fellow knights. “That seems like enough for this morning,” he said, “don’t you think?” The knights nodded in agreement, and he smiled. “It’s settled, then. Off to lunch!”

With a few dozen knights in tow, Roman led the charge back toward the stables, chatting blithely with his compatriots about the day’s upcoming patrols and humbly accepting congratulations on his expert sparring technique.

In the shadow of the trees that lined the training grounds, there was a quiet rustle and the glint of an eye. Nobody noticed it, of course.

They would soon wish they had.

For most of the castle staff, mornings meant sweeping the floors and laying out meals. The palace woke up with the rising sun, taking its time just as the rest of the kingdom did. The prince’s bed was made, the busts were dusted, the curtains were drawn open to let in the weak autumn light. Yes; for most, mornings meant peace and quiet.

For Logan, they meant work. (Patton often tried to convince him that the rest of the staff did hard work as well, but Logan didn’t buy it.)

“First off,” he was saying, bespectacled eyes turned down toward a scroll of parchment in his hands, “is the matter of All Hallow’s Eve. We must finalize decisions our on budget, itinerary, decorations, music, activities —”

It was at this point that Logan realized the prince wasn’t paying him the slightest semblance of attention. Instead, he stared out the window of the main hall, hands pressed against the sill, seemingly lost in thought. He gazed over the bustling city and the rolling hills beyond, looking far away into the sprawling forest that bordered the kingdom.

“My lord,” Logan said, to no response. He cleared his throat; still nothing. With a sigh, he set his scroll down on a nearby table and said, “Thomas.”

At long last, the prince turned, looking almost startled. “Sorry! Guess I was a little distracted.” If his demeanor hadn’t given that away, the state of his being certainly would have; his overcoat, usually crisp and pressed, was wrinkled all over. His cuffs weren’t buttoned at the wrists, and the top buckles of his right boot were done up entirely crooked.

“Distracted,” Logan muttered. “That’s one way of putting it.”

“What were you saying?”

Logan pinched the bridge of his nose. “The All Hallow’s Eve festival, my lord. If you’ll pardon my candor, we’re coming down to the wire here.” With less than two weeks left before the festivities were set to start, this was something of a trivialization.

“Oh! Of course.” Thomas nodded slowly, biting his bottom lip as he let this sink in. “One question, though.”

“Ask away.”

“How much am I allowed to spend?”

Logan plucked the scroll off the table and went back to scanning its contents. “Considering a large portion of this kingdom’s gripe with your rule is your financial habits,” he said, “my best estimate would be not much.”

“But I — ugh.” Thomas pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes and let a long, slow breath out through his mouth. “This is hard.” He began to walk toward the grand oak doors that led to the courtyard, and Logan followed.

“I understand that it’s difficult,” Logan assured him (even though he didn’t), “but you owe this festival to your people. Public opinion has not been very strongly in your favor since you took over the throne. The kingdom needs a distraction.”

“You think I don’t know that?” Thomas asked, a look of hurt in his eyes. “I’m trying so hard, Logan, but nothing I do is right. I feel like… like this isn’t meant to be my job, you know? Like I’m filling in for someone who actually knows what they’re doing.”

Logan opened his mouth to reply, but before he could, another voice came from an open window just behind them. “Don’t say that!”

They turned to find Patton, the castle’s odd-job man, leaning toward them over the stone sill with a cleaning rag in his hand. His round glasses glinted with morning sunlight, obscuring his eyes as he said, “You’re great at your job! Everyone loves you, I just know it.”

“To put it kindly,” Logan said, “that is a monumental overstatement. It is, however, a pleasant sentiment.”

“You really need to work on your definition of ‘kindly,’” Thomas said, burying his face in his hands yet again.

“My ‘kindness’ to you is having your best interests at heart, my lord,” Logan said. He failed to mask his disdain for the word but plowed on nevertheless. “I want nothing more than to see public opinion turn back in your favor, and this festival is the best way to bring about that change.”

“But… hmm.” Patton squinted like he was trying to puzzle something out. “If everyone’s upset about how he’s spending money already, why should he spend more money on a big festival?”

“Yeah,” Thomas said, nodding along. “What if we sent some support out to the border instead? Relief funds for the Dragon Witch’s attack last spring? Or —”

“If you spend vast amounts of money on the poor, the rich will complain,” Logan said. His tone was that of someone explaining simple math to a very small child for the fifteenth time. “If you spend nothing at all, the economy will dwindle. Your most promising option at the present moment is something that will engage the entire kingdom as we attempt to find a more long-term solution.”

“But —” Thomas began. He was cut off by the sound of hooves clattering up the walkway.

Roman approached from the stables at top speed, sitting astride his white stallion. “Thomas!” he called, slowing to a halt and jumping to the ground. He skidded up to the prince and gave a hasty little bow. “Er — sorry — my liege!”

“My name’s still Thomas, Ro,” Thomas sighed. He leaned heavily against the stone wall behind him and rubbed at his temple. “What do you need?”

Logan went back to scanning his scroll of parchment as Roman launched himself into speech. He could not for the life of him understand why Thomas was so averse to his princely title; it should have been an honor to ascend to such a position, after all. It was understandable that Thomas would give a friend he’d had for over a decade a little more slack on the royal title front, but Logan had only joined the staff a few years ago, and he got the same treatment — “You can cut back on the ‘my lord’ stuff.” “It’s not that big a deal.” “You don’t have to treat me any differently.” Of course Logan had to treat him differently; he was the prince! That was part of the job description. Putting his grievances aside, cleared his throat and turned his attention back to the conversation at hand.

“So, for this festival I’ve been hearing about,” Roman was saying. “I was thinking of a good, old-fashioned jousting match — with me as the star, of course, given my astounding track record.”

“Yep, yeah, sounds great,” Thomas said, eyes still downcast and brow still furrowed.

“And maybe a bit of sparring as well! I’ve gotten very good at this new disarming trick —”

“Okay, Ro. We’re kind of busy here.”

“But hear me out on this one: me, my stallion, and a jumping course. I’ve never jumped before, obviously, but I’m sure it would be a spectacle, and —”

“Roman, that’s enough, alright?”

“Oh, we could hang banners! ‘Epic joust today at noon’ —”

“Roman!”

At long last, the knight fell silent. A disoriented sort of look played across his face as Thomas grimaced at the ground.

“I’m really busy right now, okay? I don’t have time for this.”

“Well, I’m only trying to give my thoughts —”

“Then stop giving them,” Thomas said, finally looking Roman in the eye. He seemed, quite frankly, exhausted — his hair was tousled and his eyes were frazzled. “I — I’m sorry, but I’ve got a lot on my plate today, and as — as your prince, I’m asking you to put a pin in this until a… later date.”

Roman blanched. He opened and closed his mouth like a codfish before regaining his composure, giving his crisp white doublet a little adjusting tug. “Right,” he said, and it came out tight. “Of course… my lord.” His bright eyes hardened as he turned on his heel and remounted his horse. With a jerk of the reigns, he took off toward the city across the sprawling lawn.

Thomas waited until Roman was out of earshot, then thumped the back of his head against the wall. “Agh, that was mean,” he groaned.

Logan sniffed, unbothered; he and Roman got along well enough, but sometimes that boisterous knight simply needed to be told to shut up. “You asserted your authority over a knight who forgot his place,” he said. “I see nothing wrong with that.”

“He’s my friend, Logan.”

“Even friends must come to understand the balance of things. Now, would you like to discuss the festival?”

“I would!” Patton chimed in. Logan nodded fondly at him. “I can go pick apples for the bobbing contest!”

That managed to bring the ghost of a smile to Thomas’s face. “Sure,” he said. “Yeah. Let’s get to it.” He led the way back inside, blissfully unaware of the roiling rainclouds that were beginning to creep in along the horizon.

There was a storm coming, and it was going to be a big one.

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A/N: I've been sitting on this fic for almost a year now, and after months of rereading what I'd written a million times over, I'm finally ready to post it. This story is lowkey my baby; I'm beyond pumped to send it out into the world. If you like what you see, I sincerely hope you'll stick around — I've got quite a bit planned for this bad boy.