#his hottest years to me were the 90s

[cleopatragirlie]

Personally the hottest Robert has ever looked to me was during a random Czech press conference in 1993

[slavghoul]

Interview from Metal Hammer 8/2023

LIFE LESSONS from TOBIAS FORGE

Shock rock, bad glam bands and wanting to be Venom: inside the brain of Ghost's benevolent overlord

Tobias Forge is the mastermind behind one of the 21st century's hottest metal bands, but even he’ll admit that success was a long time in the making. Hailing from the Swedish city of Linköping, the Ghost frontman dabbled in everything from death metal to glam before donning the iconic Papal attire and paint to transform into Papa Emeritus, transcending his roots to become a larger-than-life character. Here are the key parables he has to share, gleaned from more than 25 years on the heavy metal frontlines.

MUSIC AND MOVIES ARE GATEWAYS TO OTHER WORLDS

“Linköping was a nice city to grow up in. It wasn’t so small you felt like you were cramped in a village, but it’s small enough that you’d still want to eventually move somewhere else. You’d have access to all these gateways to other worlds through the record stores and the local video store. My dreams started there - everything I do now, I dreamt back there.”

I WAS A TEENAGE HEADBANGER

“I had a teenage brother growing up, so I had a free pass into teenage culture. Whatever they consumed, I got a whiff of - how they dressed, what they watched on TV, what films they rented... The lifestyle and expression that meant most to me was shock rock. Twisted Sister were a wrecking ball into my life with I Wanna Rock. That song made me want to bounce!”

THE HEAVIER IT GOT, THE DEEPER I WANTED TO GO

“When I first heard Candlemass, I was eight and I was blown away. I already liked Black Sabbath, Metallica and Motorhead through my brother, but Candlemass were local and sounded so heavy, it was like doomsday. King Diamond and Candlemass served as a segue for me to discover death metal and black metal in the early 90s. It became my calling. From the ages of 12 to 22, I spent my life in death and black metal bands.”

FOLLOW YOUR HEART (AND SOMETIMES YOUR WALLET)

“My mom is from Stockholm, so when I was 15 and started saying I wanted to move there, she was just like ‘Finish mandatory school’ and we moved together [after I graduated]. I moved back to Linköping when I was 25, because Stockholm is a big metropolitan place and it’s not fun living in those places if you don’t have money. Now I’m in Stockholm again; it’s more fun now I can afford it!”

HEAD IN THE CLOUDS, FEET ON THE GROUND

“I learned the hard way in the late 90s that wanting to play 80s-inspired death metal with my band Repugnant was     painfully out of touch with what was going on at the time. It broke my heart; I wanted us to be signed to Roadrunner and support Slayer. That never happened unfortunately - or perhaps fortunately, as it kept me grounded for a few more years and if those things had happened maybe I wouldn't be here today.”

TAKE CHANCES, BUT STAND YOUR GROUND

“Repugnant had a close shave with success. We signed to the label Hammerheart, which at the time felt like we’d made it because the first thing they did was take us out on our first tour, supporting the American band Macabre. They were a favourite band of ours - still are, and whenever we play Chicago they come to the shows - and at that point it felt like we might be going somewhere, but we quickly parted ways with Hammerheart because we couldn’t agree. It felt like our chance and we’d blown it.”

NOT ALL 80S BANDS WERE CREATED EQUAL

“With Crashdiet, we never really went beyond our home. I can’t say how many shows we did, but I don’t think it was more than a handful. For me especially there was conflict with the singer, Dave Lepard. We were friends, but he clearly wanted to take his band into some sort of glam-sleaze direction, whereas when I think of ‘glam’ I’m more Hanoi Rocks and Guns N’ Roses - never, ever the other bands. I know Poison kinda came before a lot of the latecomers, but to me they were repellent. Dave wanted to go all neon and I wanted it so that if we were glam, we’d be Hanoi Rocks meets Lords Of The New Church or The Dead Boys. I don’t want to be fucking Stryper! Fuck that!”

THERE’S NO POINT TRYING TO FOLLOW FASHION

“It was a confusing time in the early 2000s – rock was all of a sudden in fashion because of bands like Franz Ferdinand and Kaiser Chiefs. Everyone was always looking for the next big rock band and in Sweden The Hives were huge, as were The Soundtrack Of Our Lives, The Hellacopters, Backyard Babies...so many rock bands! But there we were in Subvision, influenced by The Dead Boys, with a little-too-long hair, leather jackets, just a little too ‘metal’... yuck! You’re supposed to be more indie; heavy metal is about having the biggest dick and indie is the opposite.”

FIRST IMPRESSIONS REALLY DO COUNT

“I hated The Strokes when they first came out. Back then, everyone described them as being so natural, that they weren’t interested in being rock stars, and I was like, ‘No. They didn’t wake up looking like that.' They chose to do that to be rock stars. And they can really play! Then when First Impressions Of Earth came out it was like, ‘There you go! That's what they really sound like! After that, I loved The Strokes, because they were showing they actually did love the music, but a lot of indie rockers treated it like it was their sell-out record.”

HAVE A VISION IN MIND

“Ghost started with a song, Stand By Him, which ultimately came out on our first record. I wrote it spontaneously, as an experiment - almost a joke, if you will, in 2006. When I recorded it the first time, I had no equipment in my home, so I had to go to a friend’s house. We did this very rough demo. He said it was great. He’d been in Subvision, Repugnant and Crashdiet with me, but we’d stopped playing together. He was like, ‘Can we form a new band?’ and I was like, ‘This song is the only thing I have. If I can come up with two more songs and there’s a pattern, then of course.’ But they needed to be as playful and spontaneous, and sure enough they were.”

PRESSURE CAN DO WONDERS

“Around 2008, when Ghost were first getting properly started, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant with twins. I never said it out loud, but I was preparing for my dream not coming true - maybe I wouldn’t become a rock star, I’d never be successful... So I had to at least have something that I could live with, a hobby that I could feel strongly about and get all my inclinations filtered through. I wanted to play metal, but also write pop music, have this horror rock show with theatre... Still taking inspiration from Venom pictures in 1982 where they looked like bikers surrounded by smoke and red lights. Ghost felt like a combination of all those things. Lo and behold, when I didn’t have all the time in the world, like I had before and gotten nowhere, when I could only put so much effort in, everything changed.”

THE MYTHOS IS NICE, BUT ONLY THE MUSIC MATTERS

“It was so weird, being threatened with a ‘reveal’ [Tobias’s public identity was revealed after ex-members took legal action against him in 2017I, as if people knowing who I was would be such a turn-off that they’d never listen to Ghost again. Here I am, most of my life wanting to be known, but then I was fighting to be unknown? What a paradox!”

ROLL WITH THE PUNCHES

“I’ve always tried to be like a general – have a goal, like, ‘Let’s take that castle’, but knowing that things can change in the field. You need to conduct yourself with a certain level of elasticity. I know I’m a control freak and want things to be done in a certain way, but I’m also aware things never work out that way.”

CHALLENGE YOURSELF

“One of the biggest weaknesses with modern metal - and horror - is that it’s being created and curated by people who only like that thing, so it becomes regurgitation. The best horror movies I’ve seen - Jaws, Bram Stoker’s Dracula, The Exorcist, The Omen - were made by people who never made horror films elsewhere. They wouldn’t limit themselves. If you don’t like other things, that’s fine, but if you ever feel stuck creatively it might just be that you’re sticking too close to home. I can’t even imagine just sticking to one lane these days.”

[thatshadowcomic]

Trying my best to be spoiler free-- my honest first reaction.

Think the best way to watch the sonic movies is to remember they're basically AUs. I think there's enough effort and affection to constitute that for me and I really do feel like they're enjoying these movies and the characters, I do. The energy is there and I really love the way they handled shadow, especially with Maria, even if we didn't get the true ending we wanted.

It felt very appropriate given how the movies are world building and I really love that Shadow feels so lost and unsure where to vent his frustrations. He feels like hes angry and just wants someone to tell him what to do, so he trusts the only person he can.

Really looking forward to more and a great way to end year of Shadow 🦔 ⚡⚡⚡

That said, since movie 1, I've always felt that the best parts are any time Jim Carrey was not on screen and this will be my hottest take on this account Ig.

Like I think id feel different if there was just *less* of him or the scenes were shorter (in all the movies) or for this one, at least if Robotnik was slightly less Jim Carrey for a breather. Pace is just cut off to make us give him our full attention, often in service of nothing lol. I think they needed to be cut down. Like anything I felt gets cut off because we need to have Jim Carrey be Jim Carrey for 5 minutes.

For just a moment he has something other than shitpost energy (don't get me wrong, I love a good shitpost, but he's just always the same), like when that little moment happened with his grandfather, like what he says to eggman. That was wild. That was cool.

They're never eggman, just Jim Carrey doing...Jim Carrey lol. Which I'm pretty sure was part of the direction, just letting him be weird. Maybe to find their AU eggman?

It's just like how Will Ferrell has his "Will Ferrell, grown man acting like child" joke in 90% of his movies, it just gets old fast. It just felt like watching the mask half the time, I guess?

[trekbait]

Cardassia’s Gay Venues - Ranked

Cardassia’s strict gender roles and focus on family have meant for much of the past few hundred years the queer community there, while tolerated, has lived in the shadows. Post-war, it’s all change on Cardassia and we’re proud to report on some of the hottest queer venues (or "tailor shops" in the local slang) on the planet!

#1 The Blue Spoon

Officially a 300-year-old private members club for women excelling in science and engineering (Cardassia’s traditionally female-dominated careers), this club has been a haven for Cardassia’s sapphics away from prying eyes. Those in the know of course might recognise the name; “blue spooning” being a slang term on Cardassia for a lesbian relationship. But they’ve maintained an air of deniability and exclusive privacy.

Reluctantly opening their doors to a new generation, we joined one of their latest parties with these finely dressed women, often with very masculine cuts, dancing to an all-female orchestra. From our conversations with patrons, it seems those women who do serve in the military are in exceptional demand now they’re allowed in, particularly among the younger patrons. One older Gul was seen carrying two young women around on her shoulders before vanishing towards the powder room.

#2 The Hot Rock

With their preference for the heat and dark, relative to many humanoids, it’s no surprise how popular saunas are on Cardassia. That holds true for gay Cardassians too. The Hot Rock is the biggest gay sauna in the capital and a meeting place for much of its community. Over 4 floors deep under Lakarian Way there is no end of dark corners to arrange a semi-private rendezvous in temperatures passing 90 degrees Celsius in places. 

The upper floors are dotted with dancers, bars and various entertainment. Not being able to handle the heat downstairs, we talked to a few of the patrons. One ex-tailor we spoke to told us of how prior to the war it was very much a “don’t ask, don’t tell” situation on Cardassia. The primacy of the family always had the understanding of affairs on the side, but on the understanding they were kept discreet.

These days, it seems, the old ways are out along with the old leadership. We asked the patron if there were any prominent gay Cardassians in this new society. He replied, “my dear, they’re all gay.” When asked if that included the government, he added “Especially the government.” The patron himself says that he is just visiting for the sauna and was not gay at all, but his friend Elim used to date a human doctor for a few years who was “ravishing.” He grinned as he went back to watching the dancers. Let’s hope this ‘Elim’ finds new love on this new Cardassia.

#3 Dom In Me Cabaret

What was previously an underground satirist group of drag performers during the war is now an ongoing headline show with a full musical comedy based around the Dominion leadership. The king playing the Vorta 'Why-Ooo' steals the show with his sycophantic solos dedicated to his unrequited love for the abusive Changeling.

We lost count of the number of times different characters killed Why-Oooo but the audience cheered mercilessly without fail. The group is currently working on a new act around Tain and the Obsidian Order, something unthinkable a few years ago!

#4 The Ending Sacrifice Bookshop

For a quieter atmosphere, turn to The Ending Sacrifice which now openly sells literature deemed inflammatory to the Cardassian sense of “Family Is All.” Stories of powerful people forsaking arranged marriages to elope with their true love stock the shelves in defiance of the prevailing ideology. The owner, Manek, explains how they how to challenge the monoculture on Cardassia imposed by Central Command over the past 100 years.

“Historically,” they say, “the early Hebitian civilizations were far more liberal and pluralistic. We valued our differences and our culture above military conquest. We want to return to that openness. So much of our society has been suppressed. Did you know that, like most reptilian-like humanoids, Cardassians have the capacity to change sex in certain circumstances? Under the Central Command, this is an unspoken medical disorder to be fixed rather than a natural function of our biology.”

The bookshop hosts literary and academic talks on a number of topics which are free to attend. Drop in and speak to Manek for more.

#5 Obsidian Eyes

Tucked away on the outskirts of Lakat is a BDSM club that only recently opened. For some, the end of the Obsidian order and their eternal monitoring of the whole of Cardassian society (especially it’s queer members) must be something to be missed. Because here, patrons can meet in cold metal interrogation rooms and be watched through “secret” one-way mirrors by “agents of the Obsidian Order”. At a certain point during their liaison, the agents will barge into the room and place the lovers on trial. 

We asked staff if the “agents” were real, or more accurately former, members of the Obsidian Order or just actors. Each person we asked gave an entirely conflicting account of the whole operation and one just quoted lines from Enigma Tales at us. So we’re not sure what to say at this point other than this is an exhibition and humiliation kink we didn’t think we’d see on our trip.

[theriverbeyond]

I don't think they're "bashing it with their closed fist" bad

However

I do a 100% believe Dulcinea, Palamedes, and by extension Cam have their entire view of sex shaped by cheap erotica. Imagine the worst understanding of anatomy, what is sexual pleasing, and most blatantly inserted author kink, and they all thought that was just normal and how things were supposed to work

Pyrrha has sex with Pal and Cam and they're saying the most batshit terrible dialogue she's heard since Cytherea, because Pal religiously reads smut and Cam has been with Pal for years

okay I hear what you are saying but I need to raise you this: the 6th House final exams involve reciting erotic poetry. the 6th House in general are a bunch of nerdy weirdos. 2/3 of their military is specifically about going out to fuck and breed. The Nine Houses in general, culturally, are literally based on anatomy (necromancy), not even getting into the extensive education Palamedes (and Cam by extension, as his cavalier) would recieve as a necromancer.

Palamedes and Camilla and the rest of the 6th were getting age appropriate sexual education starting at age 6 and repeated every year thereafter until maticulation, with details and info etc of course updated to corespond to their respective developmental stage.

what I mean is: 6th House erotica is painstakingly, unwholesomly accurate. Even in BAD 6th House erotica they can still find the clit. Even in PURPOSEFULLY UNREALISTIC 6th House erotica everything is still very much logically supported.

So: theory is different than practice (esp. because Camilla gives acearo vibes TO ME!!!) but to ME, Palamedes is the snobbiest smut writer/reader you have ever seen. The man has standards. He reads and writes the hottest and horniest erotica you could ever imagine and 90% of it is for the in-univese equivalent of Hockey RPF. He is not inherently opposed to author insert or unrealistic anatomy, but that shit better have correct grammer, coherent characters, and a compelling emotional arc. etc

[mar3ggiata]

professional help, c13. I found a mountain.

simon riley x original character.

trigger warnings: violence, sexual assault, mentions of rape, trauma, sexual themes, swearing, use of alcohol and drugs.

song to listen to when reading this: Pulaski at night, Andrew Bird.

abstract: Simon. it was alright. it's nothing, I'm not impressed. really, reading this back, I don't know what got to me, I don't know I wasn't even thinking. pretend this is not me, pretend is someone else I swear I don't think this actually happened. Alba's lying as usual. I'm out.

Her eyes lit up. A kid on Christmas morning. 'Really, you wanna know?' she asked, straitening her back. He imitated her, sitting back on the chair and crossing his arms. That position made him look huge and intimidating. She felt her lips curl into a smile. His annoyance with her amused her. 'Tell me what you found', he said, his voice deep and warm. It was the hottest thing she had ever heard in her entire life. He was even more handsome and attractive now. Tell me about your investigation? Tell me about what you found out from your hours of researching like a fucking FBI agent? Dirty talk. Her smile grew wider.

She fixed her posture. 'Okay, so… You remember the stages of the journey in the book? The first one is the River in Jordan, which let's say you guys have already covered.' She kept her tone low, she was secretive. 'The second challenge is a long trip through the desert. When they reach the exact middle of the desert the main character has a revelation or some shit, but it happens right in the middle of the desert.' She stopped because the food had arrived. She took a bite if her burger and wiped her mouth with her napkin before continuing. He was mesmerised by her. 'Sorry, I'm starving… anyways, I went on Google Earth. I measured the distance between Al-Jareena and the closest city to the Persian Gulf, it's 1765 kilometres.' She quickly realised she gave away a crucial information about herself and she hoped he didn't notice. He did. Got you, European. Fuck it I don't care, she thought and took another bite before continuing. He didn't start eating yet. 'I looked right in the middle, 882 kilometres and a half.' she stopped and smiled again. She waited for a few seconds, a pause to build suspace.

'I found a fucking mountain.' She let the words linger in the air. 'And…?' he asked, wanting her to keep going. She had a theatrical way of speaking, probably because she had a eureka moment at her apartment alone, and she wanted to share her excitement. 'I found a fucking mountain, better, it's a crater, look.' She got out her phone from her pocket, opened Google Earth on her phone and looked through the app. The screen illuminated her eyes, making them seem white and light green and made of crystal water. When she found what she was looking for, she passed him the phone. 'It's not labelled, probably not geolocalized. These craters form when volcanoes essentially cool down and collapse on themselves, they can be very deep, they can have water inside. They're all over the world, America, Egypt, Russia… This one is 4 kilometres wide.' He looked at the image of the little dot on the map, a singular circle in the middle of nowhere. 'What's weird is that the closest city is more than 10 kilometres away, it looks like the outer part is quite high, making the centre more secluded,' she clicked the 3D option on the phone, 'and there's something inside.' He looked at her, then back at the phone. He zoomed in, trying to get to the middle of the circle. He could see something, he could't say they were houses. He could see construction for sure, he counted seven buildings. 'I looked through the years to see if they were old. In the images from 2019 there was nothing there. Nothing, there was grass. It were updated again in 2021, nothing again. It was last updated about 90 days ago, that's when the buildings start to appear.' She took another bite, eyes still fixated on his. He was looking at her with her phone in one hand, burger in front of him, his head racing. When she said she had something to say he didn't think about this for sure. The Alba Crater.

'Simon, eat', she said softly and he felt that if he was standing up he would have fainted. His name didn't belong to him when she pronounced it. Not with that tone, that caring tone. He put down the phone without saying a word and peeled his mask over his mouth. It was the first time she saw his lips. A long scar on the left side. It looked like he had more on his jaw and neck. No beard. They ate in silence for a few minutes. She tried to look everywhere but his face, she sensed it made him uncomfortable. She finished before him, she was going to get a stomachache from eating so fast. She waited for him to finish, wipe his mouth and roll his mask back down before looking up again. He noticed she kept her eyes on her plate. He wanted to thank her for being understanding and, at the same time, felt fucking stupid for wearing that mask all the time. Why could't he just be fucking normal for once? He pushed back the thought and focused back on her.

'You're saying this crater is being used as a hiding spot for Khorram.' She nodded, so he continued. 'They started building a sort of little village, the place is secluded, no one really knows about it…' Except you, Alba. 'Yes, the cities are far, there are nearly no roads close by, and I don't think it's a coincidence the building appeared barely a month after your mission was announced. It's in the middle of nowhere...' He sighed. It sure made sense, it was a good story. He didn't understand why she kept having all that information to give them. Because she was good at doing research, and it made him furious. Did he want to tell Price with the risk of making him waste time on a stupid mountain? Was it all just in Alba's fantasy? 'It could be a coincidence…' he reflected and she jumped in. 'It's still something! You have no idea where he is, don't you?' She noticed she raised her tone a little too much and calmed down. 'When Arash gave me that book he looked like he had just met God, for fuck's sake. What if he's following the steps of the book, what if Khorram is inside the crater?' She kept pushing. 'What about the Persian Gulf then?' he asked 'The story is supposed to finish there.'

She bit her lower lip and let her eyes wonder around for a few seconds, lost in thought. She hadn't thought about that, to be honest. It made her insecure about her whole research now… He was right though. 'When do you leave?' she asked. 'Three days.' He sensed the air getting tense between them. Or rather, sad. She fixed a strand of hair behind her ear, 'I have to go walk my dog', she explained, he was already putting on his jacket. He got distracted for a second, for a single second. The waitress appeared next to them and Alba handed her card with a smile. 'Wait…' he tried to protest. She raised her eyebrows 'What?' she asked. She knew exactly what he was thinking, because, well, men. She was disappointed to see he was almost more impressed by the fact she payed than by her research on the crater. 'I would have paid', he said with embarrassment in his voice, and she chucked. 'No, I invited you, I'm paying.'

Truth is, where she was from, paying for meals and offering food was a form of hospitality. Plus, she never did anything fun. He tried to repress internal panic, seeing her buy him food. He wasn't used to it, at all. It made him feel weird, a state he could't describe. Vulnerability maybe. It was stupid, this whole night was fucking pointless. She was silent in the car, he took her back to the ballet school, she had her Polo there. 'Thank you for paying, you shouldn't have', hearing him say that made her smile again. 'You'll pay next time, let it go.' She replied without even looking at him. Her words were rose petals, she brushed it off like it meant nothing. Next time? The fuck do you mean next time? Stop fucking playing with me I am not your fucking friend, he wanted to scream. He couldn't. She was funny, he had to admit. I am leaving in three days I might even fucking die in Jordan and you're saying there will be a next time? If I survive, count me in, I guess, or don't, cause I'm not your friend.

While Simon could not process an answer, Alba knew exactly what she was doing. She liked putting people in difficult situations, she did therapy to deeply damaged army soldiers for a living. He was different from every guy she had ever met. It was nice to talk to someone different, to have interactions and see how people's minds processed. She had always had a love - hate relationship with men in general. Where she was from, boys only ever showed her affection through violence, control and manipulation. Dating was part of deals, part of negotiations. Women were prizes, she had belonged to someone in particular for a few years. I don't use the word belong lightly, she really had been a possession. She hated the Brits she met at university, loud, messy, always drunk and just disgusting as a whole. He was the exception. He wasn't loud. He talked to her softly. Maybe because he was older, he had to be at least 30. He blushed when she talked. He was probably panicking right now and she kinda liked it.

'You shouldn't walk your dog at night, it's dangerous.' He said, and she stopped in her tracks. 'I'll be careful', she said, ready to turn around.

'I'll meet you outside your place.' He drove away before she could say anything and she looked at him go away in pure shock. Her mouth open and eyes wide, what the fuck? She got in the car, turned the engine on. She sent a voice message while reversing to drive away.

'Oi Salvo…indovina con chi ho cenato stasera.'

notes: the crater story is inspired by a true weird crater found on Google Earth with a proper village inside. I changed the distances and some other details. also, what the fuck is a kilometre?? translation: 'Oi Salvo, guess who I had dinner with.'

taglist:

@ghostlythots @sweetfemmefatal @natxpat @chavarriakeren647 @ravenmoore14 @farther-than-pleiades @internallyscreamings @hwromi @atoxicrat @cuti3maddi3 @deafeningkittenblaze @its-celeste @serene-hills @lexidoll12 @poohkie90 @lunatiquess

@warmedbythebody @katzykat @iristhemuse @azkza @keiraslayz @abbyandermine @jennyjencakes @dest-nai @corset-briefs @nutze-kekse @ilytsukiw @b3anspr0ut

@pondsblog @missyouzoe @fallenkitten @bigauthorrascalturkey @bethtay @angelynn-nicole @starluv @stargirlisworld @giyuuslittleslut @impossiblecupcakelight

@rkrivees-blog @ghosts-hoe @kam1snotverysmart @gauky76 @freyjaaasstuff @spicyspicyliving @scottpilgrimvsmyfists @courtney0-0 @shinchanboi @darling006 @my-therapist-hates-me

[livfastdieyoung69]

Nikki sixx or Tommy Lee x reader where reader is like a famous pop star bubbly persona and she meets them at a award show maybe (Turns out she’s a metal head)

Award Shows

(90s!Nikki Sixx x Metalhead!bassist!reader)

Award shows suck. Sure, you might win some cool award and get your five seconds of fame but was it really worth sitting at a table with a bunch of people you either don’t know or probably hated all night long? On top of that, there was no alcohol in sight. So here Y/N stood in the world's most uncomfortable outfit, with the guitairst of their band, Kacey Towers, whispering in their ear to look atleast a little happy as they tried very hard to hide their aggravation from the flashing cameras. They ignored the shouting papparazi and continued down the red carpet into the venue with a sigh.

Vinnie Lake, Static in Conspiracy’s very own singer, had already made a detour to some hot chick he saw, leaving the rest of the band to figure out where they’re supposed to be sitting. After confusingly whisper-shouting at each other for way too long, their drummer, Trip Ryke, finally went to go find a worker or something, leaving Kacey and Y/N to awkwardly stand and watch as the other artists found their seats way too easily. Y/N looked over to Kacey at the sound of him quietly giggling.

“Whats so funny, dude?”

“Look, your boyfriends here!” Kacey teased as his giggling continued. Y/N’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion before their eyes starting scanning the crowd again.

“What are you talking ab- oh, holy shit! Why did nobody fucking tell me he was gonna be here?!” Kacey kept giggling at their expense while Trip finally returned.

“What are we laughing at?”

“Nikki Sixx is here with Motley and Y/N is totally freaking out.” Trip let a little airy laugh out before speaking.

“Leave ‘em alone while they have a crisis would you? C’mon were over here.” Apparently they had been on the exact opposite side of the huge room which made sense because MC Hammer was sitting at the table they were standing by. The group weaved their way through way too many tables, Vinnie eventually joining them at one point.

“Are you sure were not lost? I think we’re lost.”

“We’re not lost Vin! Look, I see it right over there.” Trip pointed to their table as he spoke. Y/N immediatley turned around at the sight of the other band at their table but Trip caught their arm.

“No. No, no, no, no, no. Oh my god, no!”

“Oh, you’ll be fine, babe!” Vinnie had a habit of calling everyone pet names, especially his band members.

“I absolutley will not be, I’m totally gonna embarass myself infront of Nikki Sixx- who incase you didn’t notice is totally the hottest guy in the world!”

“Thanks.” Y/N whipped around with widened eyes at the sound of the smooth voice to find the entirety of Motley Crue watching the other band as if they were a reality TV show, and Nikki Sixx himself staring directly at them with a grin covering his face from ear to ear.

“You…are welcome. I totally already embarrassed myself so glad we got that out of the way.” SIC moved to sit down at the half of the table Motley wasn’t taking up, unfortunately forcing Y/N to sit by Nikki, much to their embarrassment.

“If it makes you feel any better, you’re pretty hot too. Its Y/N, right?”

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, that's me. And thanks, but I definitely don’t look like this normally, these pants are doing like half of the work. Can barely fucking breathe in these things.” Nikki let out a small laugh at their comment.

“Yeah, they don’t look very comfortable. Maybe I can help you take them off later?” It was Y/N’s turn to laugh now.

“Just cause I said you were hot doesn’t mean I’m a groupie, dude!”

“Dude?”

“Trip- the bleach blonde down there- has been saying it since I’ve known him and I’ve know him since…5th grade I think? It’s kinda stuck on me over the years.” Their conversation went silent, but not uncomfortable. Nikki spoke up after awhile.

“Hey, listen, I really like your guys’ music and I really like you, would you maybe wanna meet up and get something to eat, maybe write some lyrics or something?” Y/N’s eyes widened once again at his words.

“Yeah, I’d love that! I really like you too.” Maybe award shows weren’t so bad.

this is totally not what the request was but this popped in my mind and I thought it would be a cute idea 😭😭sorry bae

written with the 1990 MTV Music Video Awards in mind, i kinda hate this but I feel bad not putting something out so here ya go i guess! I’m gonna try to write some chapters for Bones and RND. it doesn’t really say anything specifically about it but I did make the reader a bassist cause we never get any attention and i felt like it lol

[mxrtified777]

y’know what. what scents do the ibvs boys wear.

RUBS HANDS TOGETHER

So when i originally picked out colognes for the ibvs boys, i just kind of went off whatever i knew at the time instead of actual fragrance profiles and categories, which led to them all only being somewhat well aligned and just. not well organized all in all, but the SECOND time i did it, i actually made a chart of the fragrance categories and sorted the ibvs boys by seasons (fragrances are seasonal for anyone who didnt know) so i could align the notes easier; so, in my opinion:

Isaac is an autumn and leans towards woody orientals and, to a lesser degree, floral oriental; Edward is a summer and leans towards aquatic and citrusy notes; Drew could be an autumn or a spring and leans towards woody and soft oriental notes; Nevin is an autumn or a winter and leans towards orientals and soft orientals, Chris is a spring or a winter and leans towards dry woods and aromatics (and probably gourmands tbh), and Barry is a spring who leans towards greens and citruses. good lord that was a lot but were not done yet because i have a few actual colognes picked out for some of them :)

Santal 33 for Isaac; simple and woody, a little spicy and a little floral; not super complex, but this fragrance is super iconic amongst fragrance lovers.

Black Phantom for Chris; I can't NOT give a gourmand cologne for Chris. That would be borderline criminal. The notes of alcohol and tobacco align quite nicely with his daddy issues if i do say so myself. (Also, Ky mentioned ages ago that Chris would be the coffee lover of the boys, and i just remembered that years later)

Kingdom of Dreams for Nevin; When i fucking tell you it took me 7 million years to find a good smoky cologne for Nevin. Jesus H Christ. Anyways. Warm, earthy, and smoky notes just give me an image of either a bonfire or a ritual in the deepest part of the woods gone horribly wrong. either way, it's fitting for him, and i love it.

Light Blue for Barry; One of. the hottest colognes I've ever had the pleasure of smelling. 100% a Hot Guy cologne, I, too, would trust my darkest secrets and personal information to a guy if he was wearing this. 10/10 I would wear it, but unfortunately, it's not a fragrance for me.

Acqua di Gio for Edward; A very, VERY popular cologne, truly iconic, he is the moment, i swear to god 90% of guys have owned this cologne at some point, but it is popular for a reason. I think it would he hilarious if Felix also wore this simply because it fits almost every category of guy.

and lastly, Dead Sexy for Drew; The fragrance notes on that image simply say "woody," so you would assume the vanilla and sweet notes would be dominant ones, but this 100% smells like moss on decaying trees in the most Drew way imaginable. I can not believe this wasn't tagged with aromatic because that is absolutely the best way to describe it. It smells like how the sun dries the moss on old trees after days of heavy rain, and it's one of my favorites.

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk, this has been Chris Combining His Hyperfixations Together Like Playdough.

[melancholicstation]

The prettiest Kennedy sisters are Rosemary, Patricia, and Jean.... Eunice and Kathleen were okay looking. Idk why but Jean reminds me of Alicia Silverstone.

The hottest Kennedy Brothers is a toss between Joe Jr and Ted. Bobby was only hot looking when he rocks with shorter hair. JFK appearances made him so different all the time. Sometimes he was hot looking than the other time he was okay and mid looking. His teen years truly remind me of young Devon Sawa in the 90s.

"Bobby was only hot looking when he rocks with shorter hair." oh anon you're going to make me crash out ...

"JFK appearances made him so different all the time." the copious amounts of drugs he was on for his back could explain this

"The hottest Kennedy Brothers is a toss between Joe Jr and Ted." ijbol IJBOL IJBOL

rosemary was a tragically gorgeous girl why yes of course!

[bluejaysandblackbats]

Bloody Valentines

Fandom: DC Comics, Batfam, Young Justice 98, Titans, GL Corps, Legion of Super Heroes, Flashfam, New Gods

Summary: 90s vampire slasher AU

Chapters: 2/?

Characters: Dick Grayson, Joseph Wilson, Jason Todd, Charley Parker, Zatanna, Eddie Bloomberg, Daniel Cassidy, Chester Williams DC, Guy Gardner, Kyle Rayner, Lilith Clay, Raven Roth, Kole Weathers, Bette Kane, Donna Troy, Roy Harper, Jenni Ognats, Bart Allen, Virgil Hawkins, Richie Foley, Ayla Ranzz, Zoe Saugin, Rol Purtha, Darla Aquista, Lori Zechlin, Hal Jordan, Helen Jordan II, Orion DC, Lightray DC

Relationships: DickJoey, Daniel Cassidy/Zatanna, Jenni Ognats/Virgil Hawkins, Raven/Lilith Clay

Additional Tags: POV First Person, Unreliable Narrator(s), Vampires, No Capes AU, 90s Slasher AU, Homoeroticism, Horror, Slasher

Chapter Two: The Premonition (Charley's POV)

I sat on the roof, smoking while I waited for Jason to page me. He didn't like me smoking around him, so I tried to smoke before and after we hung out. I gave myself enough time to shower and change clothes if I needed to. He never complained, but I knew he preferred I didn't smell like I just smoked a bowl when we hung out.

I met him through Eddie a few years back, and he seemed chill. A little weird, but we were all kind of strange. I was new to Jersey, but he welcomed me in and made me feel like I fit in there, even though I didn't. I didn't stay on the roof long because it was freezing out.

I showered and changed clothes before grabbing my keys to head out. Jason came in the door with an empty suitcase. "We're going," Jason announced, "We're going to Happy Harbor this weekend."

I burped smoke and apologized before plopping on the couch. Jason said a lot of weird crap, but I chalked that up to brain damage. He'd been having premonitions about his brother, and he told me something loomed just outside the gates of the immortal. I didn't know what it meant, but I don't think he did either. Jason washed his hands and poured a glass of milk. "Why are we going to Happy Harbor?" I asked.

"Because my brother is at the center of the disturbance... And he's going. Do you wanna come?" Jason asked. I shrugged and nodded. "Do you?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'll come... Jason, did you sleep here last night, man?" I asked. He shook his head. Sometimes he didn't sleep, and he'd drive around. He'd been like that since I met him. I met him in the kitchen, took a frozen pizza out of the fridge, and slapped it onto a pan. Jason sighed and took the pizza out of the box before placing it in the oven.

Most people would think two people like us shouldn't live together, but I think I reminded him of somebody. And I liked having somebody around that didn't treat me like a freak. He also didn't lose it when he walked in on me with some guy I met, in flagrante delicto, as one of the Sisters of Mercy would call it. I call it the Lotus.

Actually, that was recent. I tried to hide the fact that I preferred to drive a stick from time to time, but it was always hard to hide it from the people I lived with. Jason was different, though. When the guy left, I collected myself and tried to explain, but he shrugged it off and said he'd seen worse. So, sue me if I don't judge the guy for his hallucinations.

"I drove up to Blüdhaven to see my brother. He got in right before I got ready to leave. I waited for him all night... You should probably start packing tonight. We leave tomorrow morning so we can beat my brother there," Jason mumbled. I sat down and pulled my hair into a bun.

I didn't tell him what to do unless I thought he was doing something dangerous, so I didn't give him my opinion on the whole vacation thing. Besides, I wanted to get out of Gotham for the weekend, and Happy Harbor sounded like a relaxing vacation spot. "Jay, what's the weather like?" I asked. I laughed involuntarily and ran a hand over my face to pull myself together.

"It's in Rhode Island, so I imagine it's freezing. The hottest it gets up there is eighty," Jason answered, "And it's the middle of fall, so I wouldn't bank on it being a nice sunny seventy out there."

I forgot how sarcastic he could be when he wasn't having premonitions. I didn't hate it, though. I think that was his way of telling people he was okay. Jason wasn't a touchy-feely emotional guy, but neither was I, so it worked. "Your brother's gonna be okay," I whispered. I didn't have any siblings, so I didn't understand all the feelings surrounding him and his brother. Whenever I saw them together, I thought they hated each other.

"I got you a suitcase... Charley, remember to pack. We leave at six tomorrow morning," Jason explained. I zoned out after that, but I think he was monologuing. I came to when I smelled the pizza he'd taken out of the oven, and I watched as Jason took a slice for himself. I blinked hard and started eating.

There was something so sensual about the first bite of food after a smoke. I shut my eyes and made a soft noise as I ate the crust first. Jason chuckled. He didn't like me smoking, but he got a kick out of me eating after a smoke. "I've never seen anyone eat a pizza ass first before," Jason laughed.

"Listen-." I fell into a fit of laughter mid-sentence. "Ass first?"

"Yeah, because the crust fucking sucks. No one eats the worst part first," Jason cracked up. I hate to say it, but he was cute when he smiled. I always wanted to go there with Jason because he felt safe, but I never got any indication that he was anything other than straight. Besides, it never would've worked. Jason had a lot going on in his head, and I did too. He was a for life type, and I was more of a for the night type. I was bummed after that because I stopped laughing and returned to my large pizza in silence. About an hour after I ate, I took a nap and packed for our trip.

Jason took his shower and fell asleep on the couch, where he talked in his sleep. I tried to ignore it because some of the stuff he said in his sleep made me feel paranoid. But this time, it was different. Worse. Jason tossed and turned on the couch so roughly that I sat on the floor in front of him to keep him from falling. He grabbed my shoulder in his sleep and scared the shit out of me. "Stay out of the water. Stay out," Jason moaned, "Charley. The water." A chill ran up my spine, and he shot up, panting as he searched around the room.

"Jason... Jason," I whispered as I grabbed his wrist. "Jason, are you-."

Jason jumped off the couch and into my arms. I never saw him that emotional before. It freaked me out. "Please don't swim this weekend, Charley. Promise me you won't swim," Jason begged. I hesitantly rubbed his back to calm him down, but I was as scared as he was. Jason held on so tight my back cracked. Oh yeah, I forgot to say the dude was jacked. Thick neck, giant biceps, built like a fucking tank.

"If I promise to stay away from the water this weekend, will you let go of me?" I asked. Jason let go and nodded. He had to pull himself together, but I was still spooked. "I promise... And next time you call my name like that in your sleep, I'm gonna need you to take me out to dinner, Kid." Jason chuckled and shook his head. "Why'd you want me to come with you tomorrow? Be real with me."

"We'll all be together... I think we'll be alright if we stay together," Jason whispered. He stood up and walked away before hiding his face in his hands. "I've never had one that vivid before... Charley, please don't forget what you promised me... Please don't forget."

I felt terrible for him. Eddie said he wasn't always like that. Before the accident, Eddie said he wasn't as fearful. Everyone warned me not to listen to his delusions or feed into them, but his instincts were good, and he'd never been wrong before about the normal-sounding stuff. It was more than reasonable for me to believe that staying out of the water in an area where it'd be freezing out was a solid warning.

Jason paced back and forth by the fire escape, and my hands shook as I tried to pull myself together for him. We couldn't both be scared. I owed it to him to be the brave one for once. If I owed anybody anything, it was Jason. "Jason, c'mere. Stop-. Stop pacing and look for a minute. Nothing's gonna happen to me because I'm gonna listen to you," I reassured him. Jason nodded, but I could see his mind was already made up. He looked like he wanted to cry. It was like I was already gone. I'd never seen him like that. It was weird and fucked up, and I dreaded the trip ahead. I was so fucked up over it that I couldn't even think to smoke. Instead, I decided to keep my head straight until we got to the Harbor on Saturday. I thought it'd give us both some peace of mind. Still, I didn't think Jason would sleep after that. There was no way. And there was no way he'd be able to drive on forty-five minutes of sleep. Relaxing trip, my ass.

[xombiriot]

TOP 3 Metal Albums I Enjoyed from 2023

A lot of great metal came out this year and it was hard to narrow it down to my Top 3. There were some great EPs released this year— Spiritbox’s The Fear of Fear, Brand of Sacrifice’s Between Death and Dreams and Knosis’s The Eternal Doom among them. Singles I enjoyed include: "On the Verge" by thrown, “Masterpiece” by The Anchor, “Enemy” by The Gentle Men (ft. Andy Cizek), “Weight of the World” by Harper (ft. We Came as Romans and Brand of Sacrifice), “Viking” by Slaughter To Prevail, "III" by DEATHPHONK (Nik Nocturnal's weird project); and Knocked Loose had the double, “Deep In the Willow”/“Everything is Quiet Now”.

My Top 5 honourable mentions: 5. [m]other by Veil of Maya, their newest does everything I want it to do, good riffs, cool effects, great vocals; 4. Soul Elegy by Termina, Nik Nocturna, Andy Cizek and friends deliver an awesome metal album; 3. Chaos Horrific by Cannibal Corpse is a strong entry and shows why they're still so loved after so long; 2. The Fox and the Bird by Ok Goodnight mixes folk, rock, metal and whatever else they want to create this really entrancing album; and 1. Take Me Back to Eden by Sleep Token is one of the albums I listened to the most because it's easy to put on when you're tired of being relentlessly pummelled by deathcore, but though its highs are super high, it just misses out landing on my top 3 because there are a few spots it lags

3. ...And Everything In Between - Unprocessed

Manuel Gardner Fernandes has quickly become one of my favourite guitarists between this release and Unprocessed's previous album Gold. The combination of styles on this album exemplify modern metal: bludgeoning heaviness, thumpy prog riffing (à la Animals As Leaders or Polyphia) and a mix of harsh and clean vocals. Despite the polish of these 9 tracks, some express such raw emotion and a ferocity that they really get me hyped up. The variety of tones and vocals kept me engaged throughout, and they blend and balance heaviness and melody so well. The guitar sounds so angry sometimes–especially the part of "Thrash" where Manuel beats the shit outta his guitar after screaming, "But you're just a fucking lie!" I love that. Other songs like "Blackbone" and "Die on the Cross of the Martyr" continue the trend of excellent instrumentation, the latter featuring guest solos by Polyphia's Tim Henson and Scottie Lepage. It's so well done and so engaging. In the short time I've had this album, it's become one of my favourites of 2023.

2. Periphery V: Djent Is Not A Genre - Periphery

When Periphery released "Wildfire" as a single I immediately bought into what they were selling. The way they transition through the various parts is seamless, the mix of vocal techniques and the jazzy interlude are all fantastic. It really captures the spirit of the whole record. Songs like "Dying Star" and "Zagreus" are also so hard. Periphery continues to show off their musical dexterity, and the band members prove once again they're not only some of the best musicians djenting their way through the world but as a collective they add up to more than the sum of their parts. My hottest take when it comes to this album is that I love "Silhouette" — it's like if you ran 80s soft rock and 90s/00s boy bands through a progressive music filter. I think they wrote this song and put it on the album just to prove they can do anything. And if Periphery is Djent, and Djent isn't a genre then why shouldn't they go in every genre direction they want to explore?

1. War of Being - TesseracT

In other years this top 3 could have been entirely deathcore or melodeath or metalcore, but this year it was djenty prog metal through and through. It's the music I gravitated to the most this year and nobody did it better than TesseracT. Daniel Tompkins vocals are incredible throughout, his cleans sounding particularly great on "Echoes" – giving us one of the best choruses before following it up with another great one on "The Grey". The album offers engaging lyricism throughout and the instrumentation is at a pedigree one would expect for a band in the vanguard of this genre. The album gives us atmospheric moments, synths, meditative passages before blasting us with metal. In many ways the whole album does what the best tracks on Sleep Token's Take Me Back To Eden do. Each song and the album as a whole provide an expansive experience. And that's why it's my number one. More than any other album released this year, TesseracT's War of Being makes me want to sit down and listen to it from beginning to end.

Other great albums: SUPERBLOOM by Silent Planet; Fatalism by Polaris; Feral by Left To Suffer; Foregone by In Flames; Ashen by Humanity's Last Breath; The Sin of Human Frailty by END; Symptoms of Survival by Dying Wish; and The Death We Seek by Currents.

[duxbelisarius]

The Dance of the Dragons: A Military Analysis (Pt. 2)

If the 100+ notes on Part One are any indication, y’all really enjoyed my analysis! Huge thanks to my mutuals @lemonhemlock and @thephantomcasebook for their feedback, and to @sayruq for their interesting theory about the Dance and how it connects to the conclusion of the ASOIAF books! If you haven’t read Pt. 1, the link is here!

I’ve decided to analyze the use of sea power (navies, merchant fleets, etc.) and airpower (dragons) first, allowing me to focus on the ground war without too many digressions. This is also because of the limited effect that sea and airpower had upon the outcome of the Dance; I know that will seem like the hottest of hot takes, but rest assured I will explain myself.

Sea power is defined roughly as those institutions and technologies that allow for power projection via the sea, including warships, merchant vessels, shipyards and ports. When it comes to George’s portrayal of how both factions use of sea power, his MO is to heavily nerf that of the Blacks while pretending the Greens had none whatsoever. 

It is true that Rhaenyra’s sea power assets were considerable when the Dance began, comprising the Velaryon Fleet alongside House Celtigar and the Ironborn. Rhaenyra’s forces also had access to the port facilities of Dragonstone, Driftmark, the Iron Islands, Gulltown, White Harbour, Duskendale and eventually King’s Landing. Despite this, Aegon II could rely upon the Royal Fleet itself as well as the naval and mercantile fleets of Lannisport, House Hightower and House Redwyne. The Green Council also absconded with the Royal Treasury upon Viserys death, keeping a quarter in the capital and splitting the rest between the Iron Bank of Braavos, Oldtown and Casterly Rock; this combined with the considerable wealth of the Lannisters and Hightowers would have made it easy to hire Sellsails. The great Westerosi ports of Oldtown, the Arbor and Lannisport were all under Aegon II’s control as was King’s Landing itself, while Otto Hightower’s diplomacy secured an alliance with the Triarchy. 

There should have been a degree of parity between the sea power of the Blacks and the Greens; yet Gyldan declares that the Velaryon fleet gave Rhaenyra superiority at sea and suggests that Aegon had only the Royal Fleet. Comparing these forces is difficult owing to George’s inconsistency in providing numbers for the size of the factions armies and navies. In the case of the Velaryon fleet, Alyn Velaryon assembles 60 war galleys, 30 longships and over 100 cogs and great cogs to attack the Stepstones in 133 AC (according to Under the Regents - War, Peace and Cattle Shows). As the Velaryons are said to have lost almost a third of their fleet in the Battle of the Gullet in 130 AC, this would suggest that their fleet numbered more than 250 warships at the start of the Dance. George gives no indication of how many ships were commanded by Dalton Greyjoy at this time, though The World of Ice and Fire states that he was making preparations for war over a year before the Dance began. As the Iron Fleet did not exist at this time, the majority of Dalton’s ships would likely have been Longships. In A Dance With Dragons, these are said to be a third the size of the Iron Fleet’s warships which are themselves smaller than the Dromonds used by the Seven Kingdoms. As Euron Greyjoy’s fleet in the books is currently comprised of 1000 ships (based on this estimation by @madeinmyr), and this is despite the losses in ships and population from the Greyjoy Rebellion a decade prior, 900-1000 ships seems a reasonable number for Dalton’s fleet.

Determining the size of the Greens navies is incredibly difficult due to George giving almost no information on their size; the exception to this being the fleet sent by the Triarchy for the Battle of the Gullet, which consisted of 90 ships. The World of Ice and Fire states that it was the Hightower and Redwyne Fleets that prevented the Andals from invading the Reach by sea, but neither force plays any role in the Dance in what could at best be described as a blatant omission on George’s part. The Redwyne Fleet was part of Aegon’s invasion of the Iron Islands in 2 AC, and contributes 30 warships to Alyn Velaryon’s expedition against Dalton Greyjoy in 133 AC; A Feast For Crows tells us that the Redwyne Fleet has 200 warships and 5 times as many merchantmen as of the War of the Five Kings. Lyonel Hightower contributes 20 warships to Alyn Velaryon’s expedition, but we otherwise have no numbers to go off; 100 warships might be a reasonable number, but this is purely guesswork. Ormund Hightower and Daeron Targaryen also force the submission of the Shield Islands later in the Dance, and these had at least 50 warships at their disposal in A Feast For Crows, though this is far in the future. As for the Westerlands’ fleet, George claimed that House Lannister possessed 20-30 large warships at the time of the main books; the number of 50-60 large warships used by the Game of Thrones d20 role-playing game seems like a better basis to me given the wealth of the Lannisters and the size and importance of Lannisport. A fleet of 100 or so warships of various sizes and types would make sense for the Westerlands during the Dance, though once again this is purely a guess.

As I stated before, George nerfs the effectiveness of Rhaenyra’s sea power while pretending Aegon’s doesn’t exist, and this is borne out by the narrative; Rhaenyra’s effective use of sea power goes no further than the blockade of the Gullet, as Dalton Greyjoy’s attacks on the Westerlands coincide with the destruction of the Lannister army at the so-called ‘Fish Feed,’ after which the Westerlands played no major part in the war. Little can be said about the Ironborn attack on Casterly Rock and Lannisport other than what George tells us, that 75% of the Lannisters ships were captured, the rest were sunk and Lannisport was sacked. Despite the Ironborn having been preparing for war for over a year and failing to respond to the Greens offers of alliance, it seems the Westerlands had no security measures in place, though George uses a lack of screening and basic security in his narrative so the Lannisters are hardly alone. 

More can be said about the tactics of the Battle of the Gullet however; prior to this battle, Princes Aegon and Viserys (Rhaenyra and Daemon’s sons) are dispatched to Pentos by ship in order to keep them safe from the war. Their ships the Gay Abandon and it’s seven escorts are waylaid by the Triarchy Fleet, which moves on to attack Driftmark and the Gullet blockade. Pentos is located just north of the Triarchy and the Stepstones, and Daemon’s spies should have had almost a year to uncover Otto Hightower’s alliance with the Triarchy; a wiser choice would be to send the princes to join Joffrey and Rhaena in the Vale or send them to Braavos. The Triarchy attack with the rising sun at their backs and completely surprise the Velaryon Fleet, despite Prince Aegon’s return to Dragonstone via his dragon Stormcloud, which should have served as a warning of the Triarchy’s allegiances. We’re also supposed to believe that there were no dragonriders flying patrols over the waters around Driftmark and Dragonstone, nor were there any patrols by ship that could possibly have detected 90 warships moving in two squadrons. Jace and Corlys were in the middle of planning an attack on King’s Landing, so the astonishing lack of security reflects poorly on them both, while Jacaerys decision to attack the Lyseni ships alone is even more bizarre. The battle ends with High Tide and Spicetown sacked, these symbols of Corlys’ wealth and status as a mariner being left in utter ruin along with a third of his fleet; only 28 Triarchy ships survive with the bulk being lost to dragonfire, although 25 Lyseni ships survived despite being the first ones attacked by Prince Jacaerys and Vermax. 

This concludes my thoughts on the use of sea power in the Dance of the Dragons, or rather it’s misuse or lack thereof. George either sidelines the navies of the great houses entirely or situates them largely in the background of the land battles. I’d greatly appreciate feedback on this part, as I’m not quite satisfied with my writing and analysis as compared to Pt. 1; otherwise, thanks for reading, and I hope you continue to follow along!

[anavilante]

Deadpool & Wolverine

I watched Deadpool & Wolverine yesterday and I absolutely loved it!

It was great! Lots of blood, fights, laughter, dirty jokes, the world of Mad Max and amazing music! And so many amazing actors per minute of screen time! AND NOSTALGIA!🥰🥰🥰 This is probably the best movie of the year, not counting Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire which I also really liked. I didn't waste my money and time on these two movies for sure. And what choreography of the fights, my God, I'm just drooling. Fuck the tearful moments, give me 2 hours of these fights!🤩🤩🤩 Ryan Reynolds is just a beauty and he was made for this role. Hugh Jackman��� what an incredible man in the world of boygirls, he first played Wolverine 24 years ago and is still super in this role. He is unsurpassed in this role! He will now play it until he's 90 years old. 🤣And when he said: Scott begged me to wear this suit… Oh shit, I cried at that moment, my first Marvel pairing.💖💖💖 It was also really funny to watch people in the cinema asking each other what Elektra and Blade were doing in the Marvel movie.🤣🤣🤣 There was even Channing Tatum as Gambit! I remember we were led to believe for a long time that Tatum would get this role, but it never happened.😥 Chris Evans… God, he is still the hottest man on this fucking planet!🥰😘😍🥰😘😍 Emma Corrin, I haven't seen anything with her, but I couldn't shake the feeling that I knew her face, it's weird. Well, she's super as Charles' twin, they really look alike. Matthew Macfadyen is just gorgeous in his role.

I was so right to skip every bit of promotional information about this movie, it gave me the opportunity to watch it without knowing 80% of the plot before it premiered.

I FUCKING LOVE THIS MOVIE!!!

[episodicnostalgia]

Reading Break - Worms & Spiders

Featured Art: MotaArt: (above) Rick Leonardi & Al Williamson:  Spider-man 2099 #1 Mark Bagley & Art Thibert: Ultimate Spider-man #11 Patrick Olliffe: Amazing Spider-man Family #3

Welp!

It’s been longer since I last posted here than I'd hoped it would be.  Unfortunately, I’ve had to prioritize work for the time being, and it’ll probably be a little while longer before I have the opportunity to post my next episode review [TNG ep. 123 will be next in line, when I do finally get to it].  In lieu of writing, I’ve been trying to be at least bit more mindful with my downtime, avoiding the various social media timewasters, and taking more time to read.

For my "serious" reading, I’ve been slowly picking away at ‘God Emperor of Dune’, which is pretty fucking trippy.  Seriously, If you thought the first book was weird, then I’m here to tell you that whatever "spice" Frank Herbert was using, he upped the dose exponentially for each subsequent entry.  I’ve read a lot of disparaging reviews and comments online about ‘God Emperor’ that led me to believe it might be pompous and dull, but I’ve honestly found it to be thoroughly engaging, though admittedly subject-at-times to some ignorant world views.

For my "fun" reading, my recent reviews of ‘Spider-man: TAS’ have inspired me to peruse through my old Spidey comics, which have been a real trip down memory lane (and very on-brand for this blog). The two series I’ve been bouncing between are the original ‘Ultimate Spider-man’ from the early 00’s, and ‘Spider-man 2099’ (early 90’s).  I remember when each respective series was first being released, and how cutting edge each of them seemed.  Overall, I’d say they hold up decently well, although clearly products of their time.

‘Spider-man 2099’ is unsurprisingly the more noticeably dated of the two, and a lot of that comes down to the now-unmistakeable 90’s aesthetic, along with the somewhat clunky ‘future slang’, which seems to predominantly consist of substituting profanity with vaguely techno-sounding-words.  If you don’t know what the Shock I’m talking about you can go look it up for yourself. But It’s Rick Leonardi’s artwork where the book really stands out to me, though.  I always thought he was an underappreciated artist, and deserved a proper run on ASM, but 2099 probably gave him a better opportunity to flex his talents.

I feel like a lot of people forget today (as I suppose they inevitably tend to) that Ultimate Spider-man was once THE hottest Spider book on the market, and while reboots-featuring-a-teenage-peter-parker may be a dime a dozen today, it was a breath of fresh air in the year 2000.  It’s easy to see why too, Bendis and Bagley work great together, and it didn’t hurt that Marvel spared no expense on the physical presentation of the book.  Simply put, each issue looks sharp, from the digitally painted cardstock covers, to the glossy pages; this was a book with high production values, featuring top tier talent. No expense was spared in making sure the artists were featured in the best possible light.

One thing I’ve can’t help but notice is the differences in attitudes and ideals between the two books. I know a lot of people like to pretend that comics were less political ‘back in the day’ but that’s never been true.  I do think that politics have sometimes been easier to ignore during times of less civil unrest, but clearly the writers have always had opinions and ideals that were being expressed whether they knew it or not.  For instance, Peter David’s work on 2099 seems to lean more politically left, and is notably quite critical of nationalist, corporate, and capitalist interests, depicting a world that feels (in some ways) more relevant now than it was back when the series was being released.

Comparatively, Bendis’ writing seems to play it a bit safer.  He appears largely progressive in his social views, but also less willing to criticize institutions like the military or government beyond anything on a surface level.  I can’t say it’s too surprising, since ‘Ultimate Spider-man’ only began it’s run shortly before the 9/11 attacks, and I can imagine that even if he were inclined to do so, Bendis would have likely received pushback from anything deemed too politically controversial. But some of his writing leads me to suspect he falls towards a more politically centrist stance, resulting in a book that, while being LOADS of fun, has perhaps less to say on certain social issues. Some people might argue it’s for the best, but I kinda like it when writers are willing to get a bit messy, as I think it makes for more interesting discourse.  But then again, maybe I’ll find myself eating these words as I continue my read through.

I think that’s enough musing from me.  The fact remains that each of the artists I’ve discussed in this post are far more accomplished than I will likely ever be.   At any rate these criticisms are really more just meandering observations, about which I could easily change my mind later on.  Hopefully I’ll have more time to focus on my proper episode reviews in the coming months.

But if you’ve made it this far, thanks for hanging out.

[vinetae]

Just The Milk

You just wanted some milk..

Genre: Crack, 90s!AU, Implied Smut, Funny

A/n: Sorry not sorry for this. 'Twas inspired by @minisugakoobies reblog of BTS's Seasons Greeting's packet and it had been stuck in my mind. Was planning on making this smutty, (hence the tittle - still might who knows 👀) but I wanted a good laugh. And yes, I had the humor of a 12 year old. Deal with it.

If this gets bigger then I'll probably do a smutty chapter but this isn't a series ya'll. Like, it's like all of my oneshots turn into series XD

You take a step into the little store right on the corner of your street. Letting go of a breath, as a wave of cooling A/C hits your skin. Your head swivels to the side, admiring the tiny shop’s wide selection. Korea’s hottest days, now fade out of sight as you take in all the glorious air conditioning. Feet trotting to the side, as a ring echoes the small convenient store. You step right, letting the large, covered man by. 

“Ah, thank you.” He replies, turning on his heel to make his way towards the album section. Your eyebrow quirks, wondering why this little corner shop even had an album section in the first place.

Walking over to the beverage section, you grab a little summer cool down to well - cool you down. 

“Hey, Jimin!�� A voice calls out, as you turn your head. The strange man from earlier waves over to the cashier who you hadn’t even noticed was there to begin with. The man at the counter sets today’s newspaper down, turning to the side to give his -what you’re assuming, friend - his attention. 

“Have you guys got any new releases yet?” He becks, flipping through a few old, vintage looking vinyl records. Your eyes catch a few classics, and some newer stuff. 

Jimin shrugs, taking a sip of his iced americano. “Dunno. Jin hasn’t stocked the shelves.” He goes back to reading his newspaper. 

“You mean you haven’t stocked the shelves yet.” The older man rolls up Jimin’s paper to whack him upside the head, making the boy yelp in shock. “I swear, Jimin. I don’t even know why I hired you.” 

Jimin smirks, twisting in his circular stool. Feet barely reaching the floor. “You didn’t. Your dad loves me so much he offered me a job here.” The man sporting a strange, deep maroon colored blazer, with a fucky, retro tie coiled around his neck. Light orange hair dyed to match his unique but hot appearance. Newsboy hadn’t been well off either. He too, had worn a strange tracksuit, with a little handkerchief tied around his head to resemble one of the halmonies you’d see peeling squid outside the port. 

On the hottest day of summer… he decided to wear a tracksuit?

Things were just getting weirder around here-

“Oh!” The blazer man yelps, raising a hand to motion you over. “I didn’t realize we had a customer!” He hits the grandma-looking boy upside the head with a good smack, making his wince from pain. 

“Ow! This is sexual harassment!” He gripes, grabbing his newspaper from his hyung’s hand, smacking him back upside the head as well. The two start bickering off in the corner, as a loud crashing sound blasts through the once tranquil space. 

“Oh shit-” He curses in English, picking himself up off the piles of album covers that he’d somehow knocked over, then fell on top. Blazer man’s mouth drops to the ground, spewing a few sentences angrily. 

“Youmotherfuckernamjoonitoldyounottocomebacktothisstorenowlookwhatyou’vedonedoyouknowhowhardiworkedonthatdisplay!??!” 

Damn. That man rapped faster than emineim. 

Your eyes widened in shock, at his speed, watching as he stomped over the well-dressed customer, gripping his collar harshly. “I told you to stay out of this store before I call the police!” The blue haired man gets dragged to the door, before grandma-look-alike whistles out. 

“Guys! CU-stomer!” All three heads turn to face you. Blazer guy immediately drops the blue boy (you called him that because he wore an all steel blue oversized suit that looked like it would’ve fit Andre the Giant.) You stand there awkwardly, hands clasp in the front, holding onto a little strawberry banana milk. Fingers toying with the little label which had been peeling off. 

“Uh.. hi..” You manage to wave, right as the doors ding for a second time. Two men stride into the convenient store, as the blonde 90s dad dressed man cheers loudly, holding another man’s hand. 

“Woo hoo! Guess who just won the big-” He stops, lowering his raised hand. A confused expression fades into sight. His head turns, meeting towards the blue boy’s disheveled self. Blondie lets out a sigh. “Namjoon.. Again? Come on dude, it’s like the third time this week!” Blue boy’s head- sorry. Namjoon’s head shakes in defeat, sighing at his own mistakes.

“Yah, Taehyung, you know you’re not supposed to be in here either.” Grandma-man retorts, flipping through a page from his newspaper as he glances up through pixelated sunglasses. 

Blazer man shouts at grandma. “Yah! What’d I tell you about opening products, Jimin-ah!?”  He stomps over towards the boy, reaching to swipe up the newspaper once more, but grandma’s quick to dodge, instead he opts for running around the building like a little kid. If this were a cartoon, Jimin’s tracks would’ve stopped like road runner, bobbing in place before turning to you. A greasy grin perks his lips. 

“Why hello my dear~” He flips back his hair, acting as if this was a Rev*on commercial. (Not getting sued today, folks.)

Your eyebrows knit together, slow to back away from the two boys as your body crashes into a large figure. You pivot on your heel, being met with a man who looked like he dressed for the streets. Literally. He’s adorning a cute, red athletic shirt, some baggy dark wash jeans, a red and white headband to match, along with some cool traffic light kicks. (because they had been colored red, yellow, and green.) A few bracelets and accessories dripped his wrists like a fancy rich kid who we all used to know at school. 

“Woah, slow your roll, doll face.” He smiles, helping you back to your standing position, backing away respectfully. Grandma boy lets out a groan. 

“What are you doing here, Hyung? Didn’t you already get your daily dose of ego boost for the day?” The hip man chuckles, throwing his arm around the younger boy. 

“Ahhh, Jimin-ahh.” He turns to you, flashing a quick wink. “One can never receive too many compliments. Isn’t that right, sweetcheeks?” 

Back away, Y/n. 

BACK. AWA-

“Ow!”

Fuck.

You turn around, jaw practically dropping to the floor as you’re met with the most handsomest man who you’ve ever seen - rocking.. Leopard print..?

He bows quickly, mumbling a quick sorry under his breath before making his way over to the freezer section. Your eyes followed his body as if they’d been on a rope of some sort. The black satin suit he draped had been luxurious looking. Wondering why in the hell would he be in these parts of the streets with such lush items at hand. 

What the hell was going on!?

You back away slowly, careful as to not bump into anyone else, before you book it towards the door. 

A voice calls out before you can leave. “Wait! Ma’am you’ve gotta pay for that!”

Another one. “Hey, that’s not the d!-”

You smack into the huge glass window. Face smearing against its once polished surface, as your body slides down in embarrassment. 

“-oor..” He sucks in a breath, wincing in pain for you. 

This was just perfect.

..

“Jungkook back up, give her some room.” 

“I am-” 

“Dude I can literally see you drooling over her-” 

“Ewww, Taehyung, get your hand out of your pants!” 

“What? My balls itch!” 

“Dude that's still gro- move your fat ass over, Jimin!” 

“Hey! My ass is fabulous and we all know it!”

"Fat ass full of LIES, Jimin." Jungkook retorts.

Jimin gasps, holding his chest. "Why you little-"

“Shh shh, I think she’s waking up!” 

Jimin grumbles, arms crossing over his chest as he mumbles. "Hmph. You're just jealous."

The room goes silent. They watch as your chest rises, then falls once more. Soon, your eyes peel open. The bright fluorescent light beams down onto your sensitive face, holding your hand to caress the tender spot gently, wincing from pain. 

“That was one hell of a knockout, dude.” The blonde man retorts, coughing as grandma looking guy shoves his side. You sit up, as blazer man’s hand comes out to support your back. 

“Easy, girl. Nice and slow.” He coos. 

“She’s not a dog, idiot.” The man wearing a mint green shirt that had the words ‘vetements’ labeled, retorts. His orange headband looked like someone had just cut off the top of his beanie. The orange, clear sunglasses add for coolness, but you highly doubt practicality. 

You take a look around the room, no longer seeing the shelved convenient store which had been wreaked. Now, you were just sat in a dark room, with a few condiment bottles played across and some toilet paper rolls. A bright light swings overyour body, as the group of men gather around your body like an interrogation. 

The light suddenly flashed into your eyes, making you wince. His voice is stern and deep. “Where were you on the night of January 10th, 1943?!” You let out a groan, pushing the man away as a few of the others start hitting him on the side. 

“Dumbass, she might have a concussion!” Taehyung whines, flinching away from his brothers’ slaps. 

Your feet are suddenly lifted from their resting place, as your head slams against the table. You moan out from pain. “Maybe she’s having a seizure?? Lift her head!” Grandma-boy is quick to lift your head, while the other man holds your feet. Emo boy and grandma fight over who’s right. 

“Yah! Jungkook let go! You’re hurting her!” Grandma squeezes your head, pulling it to his chest. Emo boy tugs at your feet, nearly dragging along your skinny jeans in the process. Your hands quickly grip onto the loops, holding on for dear life as to not expose yourself to these strangers. 

“Me hurting her!? You’ve practically got her in a choke-lock, Jiminie! Let go of her!” 

“No! YOU let go of her!” 

“No, YOU!”

“NO. YOU!” 

“N-” 

“BOTH OF YOU, let go of her!” Namjoon’s voice echoes through the dimly lit storage room, as the two boys both let go of you at the same time. Their arms cross against their chests, huffing towards one another. 

Namjoon’s hand comes up to graze your bruise, sighing. “You okay?” Your head nods slowly, rubbing at your temples. 

“Just hurts a bit..” You comment. His hand extends out, holding a little bag of frozen veggies for a cold compress. You’re quick to put it to the bruise, sucking in a breath from the level of pain. Namjoon’s eyes soften, head tilting to the side. 

“It’s a pretty nasty bruise alright..” your lips roll off a sigh in frustration, head lowering from shame. 

“Is the window okay?” Blazer man’s chuckle cuts in, as he pulls a chair up to sit in front of you. 

“Baby girl, that window could withstand ten rounds fired at a time. I’m sure it’s okay.” Your head swivels around, taking in the strange scene. 

“Where am I?” 

“SHE HAS AMNESIA-” Emo boy rushes over, yanking down on your head, peeling back your eyelids as far as they could go. “How many fingers am I holding up!?!??!”

Your head turns to the side, fist clenching as you ask Namjoon. “Can I punch him?” Namjoon chuckles, hands resting between his spread thighs. 

“Sadly, no. He’s got a photo shoot here in about an hour.” You groan, feeling the strength of Namjoon pulling you up by your arm and away from the emo kid’s frantic grip. 

“Ya’ll are idiots.” Mint boy retorts, popping off the cap from one of the Coke’s. Blazer man’s head swivels, as fire burns in his eyes. 

“MIN FUCKING YOONGI YOU BETTER PAY FOR THAT!” Yoongi’s eyes roll, flicking the cap into rapping man’s hand

“Chill, I’ll leave the cash at the register before I leave.” 

“Ow! Taehyung get your hands off of me!” Grandma yelps out, trying to pull himself from Taehyung’s grip.

Namjoon sighs, shaking his head. “I swear, this place is a daycare.” 

“Oh shut up, namjoon! You’re the one who broke the album display!” Hoseok chimes in, laughing at the whole situation. 

Namjoon swivels in his seat to defend himself. “Well I- I- You see- … ah fuck it.” 

You chuckle, holding your cheek in pain from smiling. Yoongi’s head turns, eyebrow quirking at you. “Whatchya laughing at, window girl?” Your features straighten, slowly sinking in your seat at his comment. 

“Ah, lighten up on her Yoongs. She’s just a kid.” Your head perks up. 

“Excuse me?!” 

“You’re excused.” Jungkook adds in, while continuing to rip Taehyung from Jimin’s hair. 

“Bitch, I’m twenty-five!” 

He smirks. “Oh really? Ya don’t look a day past twelve.” Hip Hop wannabe boy pops into the conversation, while snatching the Coke from Yoongi’s hand. 

“Fucking- you do this every time, Hoya.” 

“CAN I GET A ‘HOOOYEAHHH!?’” 

“ALL OF YOU, GET OUT OF MY STORE!” Jin stands, pushing the rest of you out the door in a group. Before you know it, you’re back out into Korea’s sweating summer days, with six other men tagged along. 

 The streets are quiet, all except for one voice. 

“So, anybody down to fuck?” They all groan and yell out in unison, except for you.

"JIMIN"

[bu1410]

Good morning TUMBLR - March 6th - 2024

''Mr. Plant has owed me a shoe since July 5, 1971."

Ch. VII - 1984-1985 - Milan, Italy - New York - Mexico

Milan, Italy - Navigli area

Milan, Italy - Via Lodovico il Moro. Housing complex

New York - March '84

Twin Towers, Manhattan - March 1984

Mexico City - Zocalo square and Cathedral of Assumption of the Virgin Mary

Mexico City - Chapultepec castle

Teotihuacan - March 1984

Cancun - March 1984

Contoy Island - Mexico

Isla Mujeres . Mexico - March 1984

The years after Iraq represented for me the return to work in Italy. I responded to an advert in the ''Corriere della Sera'' newpaperwhere a local Company was looking for Site Engineer to follow the construction of an housing complex in Ludovico il Moro avenue, Milan. I had an interview with the Construction company's owner and I got the the job. The project consisted of the construction of a housing complex of 90 apartments. It was the month of June, and I think that was one of the hottest month in a century. Inside the deep excavation foundations the heat was unbearable, it felt like being in the Middle East. Within couple of days I met our Sub Contractor, some artisans from Brescia, professional people and tireless workers.

FORD TRANSIT VAN It was an early morning of July when our Subcontractor's personnel arrived at site with a new van: a brand new legendary light blue Ford Transit. They invited me to the bar in front of the site to ''wet'' the newly purchase van. Once returned to site entrence we had an unwelcome surprise: the van had disappeared!!

Where is the van??? One of the two owners asked.

Well....I parked it here......

Yes but in my opinion…

Oh damn God....where is it gone???

Come on - said the second owner…- good joke but now let's sort it out.....- he almost laughin........... After wandering around for a while, we called the traffic police to ask if they had noticed a brand new blue Transit van taken away: nothing, they knew nothing about it! At this point we were forced to admit that the van had disappeared. All we had to do was walking back to site, take the second van (which fortunately was still in place) and go to the nearest police station, in San Gottardo street. Here began the usual ping pong of questions and answers that always characterizes the relationship with the police in Italy.

The cop repeats the same question for the umpteenth time:

'Are we sure someone stole a van from there? ''

Sh******t yesssss … how many times do we have to repeat it? We parked it, went into the bar, took a hoodie and when we came out the van has vanished…… (then in a low voice to his partner: if he ask one more time I'll punch him in the nose.....

and his mater: stay calm Gino …stay calm please.....…

Okkay okkay...... – the cop finally seemed convinced – let's write the damn report ! (and here the usual description of the facts began with that kind Italian language that only police know and practice. That writing between the courtly and the doubtful, always with verbs in remote past tense, even if the facts described only happened a few hours earlier. We left the police station at noon, but at least the guys had the theft report in their hands.

The van was never found again - after a week or so Subcontractor's people arrived with a new minibus, but they used parking it inside the site yard.

A112 I had bought a red and black A112 car. Nothing better to drive around the narrow and always busy streets of Milan. That year Rome football team reached the final of the then Champions League Cup and match was against the English side Liverpool. That evening I reached home a little late so I left the car parked in front of the house, intending to put it in the garage after the game. Regular time ended 1 – 1 (Pruzzo's equalizer after Neal's initial lead). After extra time Roma lost the match on penalties!! Disappointed with the result and it being late, I went to bed leaving the A112 on the road. The next morning, I left for work very early. At a traffic light on Jenner avanue a driver pulls alongside and says to me:

But where do you have the license plates?

Mmmm… (7.00 am) Well . ...supposingly one in front and the other in back of the car......I answered.

No look… there's neither the one in front nor the one in the back!!!

WTF......I pulled over and immediately got out to realize that yes! The license plates were both missing!! What to do? I riched the construction site to warn my colleagues about what happened, and then I continued and went to the very same Police Station in Via San Gottardo, in order to file a report of license plates theft!

The Seargent recognized me:

Ah yes, you are the one from the van that disappeared ten days ago….

No, look agant… I only accompanied the people who work for my company….

Yes…yes…and in any case tell me why…you come from your place till here to report the licence plates disappearance?

Sorry agant but.....I this morning I didn't pay attention the plates were not longer in position, a driver at traffic light warned me… it's not like someone does it the first thing at 6.00 in the morning to check whether the license plates are there or not …I hop you understands me……

Yes…yes…oh well……but you should have gone to the nearest police station ....why you didn't?

This is the nearest police station, after I realised plates numbers desapperead, agent......And what do I know… without license plates you can't drive around....Can I replace the license plates temporarily with two pieces of cardboard while waiting for the regular ones?

Do what you want… but by law you cannot circulate without original plates numbers.

So it was like that I had two temporary sheet metal plates made on site, with which I drove around ''illegaly'' for a couple of weeks, until the regular plates arrived.

WEDDING In the meantime, me and my tha fiancee Rosalba had decided it was the time to get married. The ceremony took place in the Town Hall of Meda, a city about 25 km from Milan, hometown of my ex. It was very hastily officiated by a short-sighted councilor who had forgotten his glasses at home, so that he began to read the ritual sentences with the documents stuck to his eyes, and he try his best to short cut everything by saying etc. etcetera.....etcetera. We had a reception dinner in a cozy rastaurant called ''La Casupola, nested in a large countryside park.

On our honeymoon we went first to New York, then to Mexico City and finally to Isla Mujeres, in the Mexican Caribbean. To tell the truth, we had chosen Cozumel or Cancun, but the travel agency had advised us against the two destinations because - she said - 'too filthy' places.....''. To tell the truth, in order to reach Isla Mujeres we passed through Cancun, and at first glance it didn't seem "too filty" at all.

NEW YORK The flight Milan – New York was pleasant, and we had the opportunity to meet the Grand Master Pavarotti, an exquisite person. On the plane there were also members of the Italian national ski team, who were going to participate in competitions in North America. Great impression from my first visit to New York: on VI Avenue the wind slipped between two rows of very high skyscrapers, and cut our faces as if we were in the Alps. Another - disappointing - impression of the city was that NY was not at all ''all new and shiny'' as we were shown in films and TV series. I saw a lot of ''new used'' (or used new) in the sense of buildings, subways, streets, sidewalks and benches that were not old but already ruined by use. All this left me with a sense of dismay, making me realize that the "American dream" was perhaps just a dream, and the reality was much more down to earth. A beautiful memory was the climb to the terrace-restaurant of the West Tower of the Twin Towers, even though we were not allowed to go out on the open terrace because the wind was too strong up there. The small museum at the top of the tower was very beautiful with photos and videos of the phases of the tower's construction. The video of the antenna installation on the East Tower was amazing: the workers involved were all members of that particular tribe of Native Redskins who - due to a congenital defect of the hearing system - do not suffer from vertigo.

MEXICO CITY

Two days later we were on a flight to Mexico City, and when the captain of the plane announced to fasten seat belts while aircraft started the descent, we spent another half looking to the endless metropolitan area of Mexico city. The city was immense, and neighborhoods could be seen touching the sides of the surrounding mountains. We stayed at the Hotel Casablanca, on Paseo Reforma, a modern 30-story skyscraper. The following year - on Sept. 19th, 1985 - the hotel collapsed during the disastrous earthquake which claimed more than 10,000 victims. We visited Theotihuacan, the floating gardens of Xochimilco, Chapultepec park and the National Museum of Anthropology – and than Piazza Garibaldi, the Zocalo, and finally the famous ''Zona Rosa''.

QUINTANA ROO We than left for Quintana Roo, the state bordering Yucatan, to reach Cancun. Having landed at Cancun airport, at the time little more than a warehouse, we took a taxi to Puerto Juarez, from where the ferry to Isla Mujeres left. At that time, without the Internet, trips were much more difficult to plan and uncertainty reigned supreme. Today, with all the information available online, we would never have gone to Puerto Juarez to wait for a rusty ship, while there was a fast hydrofoil service that connected Cancun with Isla Mujeres in 35 minutes. The weather had worsened, low black clouds threatened rain, which arrived promptly: torrential rain and wind caused rough seas and a further delay to our ferry. Finally the ship arrived, and after unloading a few passengers and vehicles, we boarded and set off immediately. The crossing was quite troubled, with the sea becoming increasingly rough - we reached the pier of Isla Mujeres late in the evening, the rain had stopped, and a taxi took us to the Posada del Mar, the hotel we had booked through the agency in Italy. The hotel was right on the sea front, the room was good, and the bed was huge, an anticipation of what American call ''California King'' I guess. The next morning we had a typical rich Mexican breakfast: tropical fruit, huevos ranchero with bacon, juices of all colors. Than we set off to explore the island, renting bicycles from a lady who, instead of a guard dog, in the enclosure where she was keeping her bicycles, she had a crocodile that she used to release at night. The lady told us that she had never suffered a theft.

Isla Mujeres, with the elongated shape of a barracuda, is about 15 km long. Very beautiful from a naturalistic point of view, with fantastic sea and beaches on the West coast. We spent pleasant days at the beaches, especially in the lagoon that separates Isla Mujeres with its appendix, an islet that housed the Mia Reef hotel. We visited Garrafon Reef Park, where we could familiarize ourselves with nurse sharks and huge turtles. In the shallow water of the sea a multitude of colorful fish. We witnessed a beautiful show of orcas and seals, and during the show we exchanged a few words with a retired American couple, who invited us to have coffee in their mobile home parked nearby.

How long are you staying? The kind lady asked us

About ten days – I replied

Nooo… we're doing a tour of 3 or 4 months… then we'll see – replied the husband.

CONTOY ISLAND Once we decided to go on an excursion to Contoy, a small archipelago that is a Marine Natural Reserve in Mexico. We took our seats on a motor boat where there were already a dozen foreigners, who later revealed themselves to be a group of Canadians from a commercial TV. Halfway through the cruise - which would have lasted about 3 hours - the sailors made a stop to allow us to do some snorkeling in a shoal. The sea was wonderful, lots of fish and coral – then suddenly, while I was swimming, I looked up from the water and realized that they were leaving me there, alone in the middle of the sea!! It was a prank organized by the Mexican sailors to liven up the day, and when the boat turned around to fish me out everyone laughed out loud looking at my face....... At the time, however, I fell for it, and it wasn't one of the best memories of that holiday. One of the sailors, before arriving in Contoy, had caught half a dozen fish, trevally and barracuda, and once we moored at the small pier he got busy preparing the grill. The place was heavenly, the only building on the island was the guardian's house - a multitude of exotic birds and land iguanas populated the dense coconut palm forest. The fish cooked on the grill with peppers and other veggies was fantastic, the beers were fresh: simply a daay to remember! In the meantime, several boats had docked at the small pier on the island, including a yacht owned by couples of young Americans. They began to harass the numerous iguanas that roamed the surrounding rocks. I noticed that the park rangers were already in alert. At a certain point one of the American boys took an iguana by the tail, and, while swinging it, threw it into the sea. Immediately one of the guardians, still dressed, dived into the water and after a few seconds recovered the animal. The land iguana cannot swim and would certainly have died without the intervention of the park ranger.

Cabrones yanqui, hijo de puta mama que vajas antes que te golpeé!! (American goat son of a bitch go away before I beat you) The Americans untied the ropes, without saying a word, and under the reproachful gazes of all those present, they started the engine of the yacht and left accompanied by insults from all those present. We returned to Isla Mujeres while the sea was colored in sunset's pink-red.

FLIGHT BACK TO ITALY After Rosalba had gotten yet another sunburn, the holiday ended. The hydrofoil took us back to the ''filthy'' Cancun. It was very early and so we spent the day on the hotel beach.

At the beach chiringuito I ate the spiciest bocadillo of my life, and then we went to the airport to board the plane to Miami. Once we arrived in Florida, a local black policeman questioned me in Spanish, saying he was surprised that I wasn't Cuban (I wore a mustache at the time, maybe for that?) and then they accompanied us to the International Transit area. Miami had a very colorful airport at the time: pink and purple carpets everywhere. Later we took our seats on the Mexicana de Aviacion plane that would take us to Madrid. The take-off/landing runways at Miami airport are of the X-shaped type and require accurate control by ground radars. Which evidently did not happen that afternoon, where we had a very dangerous near miss. Our Boeing 707 was already launched for take-off, when at the crossroads of the runways another plane appeared landing: the Captain of our plane applied the brakes, many of the bags fell from the overhead bins, the oxygen masks made their appearance, several passengers screamed loudly but luckily the seat belts held us in place, and no one was hurt. The plane had stopped in time to avoid a collision that would have been fatal to the passengers of both aircraft. We returned to the airport, they let us off, some ladies felt ill and medical intervention was necessary. After about an hour, a second plane was ready: we boarded and took off safely. The following morning, after a stopover in Madrid, an IBERIA flight took us to Linate.

Autobianchi A112