#his heart is gone you guys
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“before your heart goes out to her” famous last words before mulder meets her and spends the next few days holding her hand begging to help her
#ignoring the stack of work on my desk to write about this episode for the newsletter#because i don’t feel well#but this line made me chuckle#his heart is gone you guys#it’s out#txf#mind’s eye
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getting emotional over footage of an amateur scuba diver interacting with a coelacanth. they are hunted by large deepwater predators, and here comes a large creature bearing the brightest lights it's ever seen, making strange noises, but it does not shy away. it hovers, calmly, as the diver reaches out and trails a hand down its back. im strongly against the anthropomorphizing of real life animals but the stupid emotional part of me loudly insists this is because it recognizes us, the alternating movements of its four paired limbs matching the diver's four paired limbs, & it is thinking, "hello, cousins, we missed you these 66 million years, it's so good to see you again. welcome back, welcome home."
#[OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER: he should NOT have touched the fish. do NOT touch random fish you find while scuba diving#especially if the fish is 6ft long & has sharp teeth#ESPECIALLY if the fish is a critically endangered species#being overwhelmed by the majesty of the coelcanth is understandable but that does not excuse his behavior]#[obligatory disclaimer 2: i know nothing about this guy; by 'amateur' i just mean he wasnt part of a scientific expedition at the time]#[obligatory disclaimer 3: i mean it wasnt CALM. its first dorsal fin was erect which we have reason to believe means it is on edge.#but it didnt flee like you would expect of a wild animal]#...disclaimers over. now im going to wail about how life began in the sea and we left & they stayed#& we thought they were gone & now we're finding our way back home to them#they are so beautiful and they are our family and they love us ok. they do i know it in my heart#coelacanth#Latimeria chalumnae#animals#andy original#ALSO I KNOW THEY HAVE 8 FINS by four paired limbs i mean the pelvic and pectoral the others arent paired they dont move like legs do
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"I was gonna say you're like a son to me.. but you're more than that."
"It ain't that complicated!"
How quickly that shoulder pat of comfort turned into a condescending one.
#he makes me feel so emo#this life was never meant for you but your fate was forced#the way dutch (and hosea) talks to arthur like he's stupid will never sit right with me#like they've been by his side over 20 years they KNOW he isn't stupid because if he was he would have been gone a long time ago#not only is arthur incredibly emotionally smart but he's a trained conman vault breaker gunslinger horse rider you name it#the fact that his own adoptive parents break him down like that hurts#it's a manipulation tactic on dutch's end - break your victims self esteem to make them chase your praise and approval#hosea I believe has just gone along with that kind of attitude but in a different way he just likes to jest lightheartedly#arthur doesn't see the difference though and it's understandable but he takes it to heart#the worst part is that hosea sees through his tough guy act and has called arthur out on it#his act is a defence mechanism to protect himself from being too vulnerable - in arthur's mind#and it isn't a sudden thing it's very likely something that has built over the years given the life he has lived#and hosea notices he knows this#but they still jab at arthur#oh it hurts#is he your son dutch? or is he your guard dog? your personal workhorse?#playing through the second time is opening my eyes more and more#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#mick squeaks#mick rants#mick gifs#arthur morgan#dutch van der linde#liveblogging#you guys gotta understand - arthur seeks and longs for dutch's approval he'll never say it but it's the key motive behind his loyalty#and arthur *rejects* dutch's comfort#he doesn't *want* dutch to pat him on the shoulder because he knows dutch is digging them an even deeper hole#he doesn't want that touch he craves#it's so insanely monumental for such a small scene because it shows us how arthur feels without telling us
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Kingdom Hearts Dream Drop Distance - Braig / Xigbar
#kingdom hearts dream drop distance#khddd#braig#xigbar#my gif#his pointy shoulders deflated with age#...do you ever wonder about his scarf?#radiant garden took pride in its beauty and ansem the wise was a ruler who was beloved and admired by his people (despite... yknow)#so is it safe to assume that being a guard of this world being tasked with protecting the castle/its ruler/and the townspeople-#would be considered a prestigious occupation?#yet we see braig wearing an old tattered scarf#it's a curious addition to his uniform that looks out of place among other guards#i dont think it was added to his design to help him stand out because cmon it's not like he's competing for relevance with dilan and aeleus#braig fights from afar with his guns it's not like he's some scrappy guy that might have messy clothes from battle#i wouldn't be surprised if this was ephemer's scarf that he somehow came into possession of#and is holding onto it with the possibly of it being used as some kind of medium/waypoint#who's to say he's not still wearing it under his organization coat? just because we can't see it anymore doesn't mean it's gone#riku had an entirely different outfit under his own organization coat so who knows what xigbar has under there#i like to think braig used to be scolded for wearing the scarf because it covers up the uniform's emblem#and wearing old ripped articles of clothing isn't part of the image the guards would presumably have to uphold#but eventually they gave up on making him take it off because he just does whatever he wants#just something i think about from time to time#xigbar has always been so mysterious and cryptic i can't help but keep an extra close eye on him#especially since he's been revealed to be so much more than what he seems. who knows what tricks he has up his sleeve#i don't think it's outside the realm of possibility
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the coolest kids in forgotten valley!!☆
(…it seems there may have been a stretch of time where rock and lumina were the only kids in forgotten valley…🥲)
poseref
#in the remake hugh and the player’s kid are the same number of years apart#so i can see them having very similar conversations n friendship#surely these two kids will grow up well adjusted and they will have no lasting effects from this kind of isolation. they will be fine#i have been thinking a lot about what their childhoods were like. i want to protect both of them#everyone who has anything to say about them as kids says that both of them were not well behaved children at all#tei says rock was rambunctious and energetic and hard to handle. sebastian says lumina was less than amenable#rock says he was bored to death when he first came here and lumina asks you not to tell romana that she’s lonely#lumina also hated wearing dresses so. she is very mad and ready to bite people maybe#sos awl#bokumono#my art#rock tumbling (sos)#harvest moon#story of seasons#story of seasons a wonderful life#bokujou monogatari#i like to imagine a au where pony and cecilia come to visit their family’s respective farms#so these two can have more friends ;w;#i am always thinking about how they were both severed from their families and taken in by someone else at a young age to live in nowhere#and they are both not exactly enthused about following the path laid out for them#headcanon ⚠️ i wonder if rock’s moving out on his own happened when he was a teenager. he was extremely confident everything would work out#anyway he got fired from every job ever and after many years came crawling back. and he came crawling back blond#at the time of chapter 1 lumina is baffled by the state of the guy she grew up with. why is he using dated slang and wearing disco costume#she is also kind of mad at him for having been gone for so long#hc rock probably had more freedom as a kid than lumina did which probably annoyed her#once again takakura retrieves a small rock from the goddess pond and he’s covered in poison ivy bee stings etc. no remorse#lumina from her window on the hill feels somehow jealous of these misadventures#lumina mentions in her heart event that she doesn’t often visit the beach because her skin burns easily#meanwhile rock was probably playing outside always. if his kid is any indication#idk i like thinking about the history of this extremely small village
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MOM THE FUCKING DEMON POSSESSED ME AGAIN AND IT DIDN'T WANNA WORK ON ANIMATRONICS BANGS HEAD
Singles under the cut!
#anyways hi yes i dont CARE if you dont know dragonball you are GOING to peep my babies#dragonball ocs#these are. very specifically for db xenoverse 2 do you understand how mentally unwell i am about that game#and how ANGUISHED i am that APPARENTLY THERE'S BEEN FUCKING. STORY SHIT HAPPENING AND I NEVER KNEW!!!!!!!!!!#anyways hi these are my sillies that have gone through So Many fucking redesigns oh my god#kallabash used to be a girl. not anymore [transgenderfication beam be upon ye] /hj#jericho oh my god sweet baby i've been fighting for my life#BUT NOT AS MUCH AS RAINE OH MY GOD HE'S GONE THROUGH THE MOST ITERATIONS FOR FUCKS SAKE#anywhoooo something something if you know the gist of the xenoverse games- these guys are a big team!#kallabash jericho and blizzard are heavy hitters#whilst keyta and lulu provide support and then there's raine who actually is a talented inventor bc#i think we can have more of that as a treat#i've been. thinking about these fuckers on and off for a few months now and the fucking#shenanigans these idiots have/would get into#heart emojis <33#they're gonna be on artfight and. now excuse me while i fight with lesbians and the tumblr sexyman (apparently)#dbxv2 ocs#dbxv2 oc#xenoverse 2 oc#xenoverse 2 ocs#namekian oc#majin oc#saiyan oc#icejin oc
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Chance encounters in Costa del Sol.
#ffxiv#sketch#zenos yae galvus#meteor survivor#titus yae galvus#arrecina wir galvus#oc#tsukiko date#camilla lunae#imagine trying to get drinks at the bar only to look over and see your presumed dead great uncle/great nephew standing right next to you#meteor- five seconds away from a heart attack looking over at titus#that moment when youre the spitting image of your father and the warrior of light was *not* aware of that fact#the galvus' are not allowed to have normal vacations#or... well retirement in Titus' case#I am simply here to draw the unaccounted for garlean royals lmao#eventually i'll draw zenos' half sibling(s?) and varis' retainers annia and julia out of their armor#but for now you guys just get to see my silly bullshit of sixty something y/o titus deciding that with nerva gone he's just gonna retire#mans is done with it#im probably gonna end up writing him as the legatus of the 8th- and probably a machinist that eventually becomes a gunbreaker#after lucius passes this man is over all of it#no nonsense machine commanding leader ect ect.#probably dual wielding the gunblade with an actual gun tbh lol#old man doesnt look like wrinkly solus because he spent his life taking care of himself to deal with just... the galvus family in general#dont let the strands deceive you all his grey hair is hidden under the rest of it all lmao#the galvus family brain rot continues and its not going to let me go v-v#(also dont mind meteor teasing tsu for hiding in his shade she does this a lot)
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i know we all joke about the best ace rep and our favourite character being an eshay (and tbf im european that word means nothing to me) but imo thats one of my favourite things about his characterisation: the fact that he is not something an allo audience would mecessarily expect or imagine to be ace.
small disclaimer, im happy with any ace rep we get in the first place and if you do like what im about to describe more power to you, this is just my personal opinion.
That being said, i love that cash is kind of an 'unconventional' ace character, for lack of a better word. all too often ace characters fall into one of two stereotypes, either the heartless cold robot that is already kind of weird or other in itself and does not care about your or anyone elses feelings (this also includes nd coded characters), or the innocent sweetheart who is so pure and cute and has (most likely) one singular character trait (somehow almost always books). again, there is nothing inherently wrong with this since these people exist in real life, but they do push yhe aspec community further into the little boxes that allos have already put us in.
Now what i love so much about cash is that he is one of the most clearly genuinely kind people in the show. Despite him being surrounded by bad company, he is constantly shown to be gentle and sweet with his grandma and is obviously uncomfortable with the whole harper situation the entire time (not saying he handled this perfectly but thats not what this post is about). He is shown to clearly care about people deeply and he is not afraid to show this, except for when he is in bad company.
However, him having and showing emotions does not push him into the pure innocent cinnamon roll part either. He goes out to parties, does engage in enough sexual activities to end up the map, openly flirts with darren and is totally rocking his mardi gras outfit (including thong on head) without hesitating once. He is also stereotypically a 'tough guy', which is also not a type of guy too often represented as any sort of queer in popular media afaik. all in all the way cash is portrayed as an eshay to me makes him being aspec so much more valuable to me and while i understand the eshay posts are mostly jokes i did want to talk about it
#heartbreak high#jeez im rambling#sorry guys#i couldve gone on for ages about this but i feel like this is already too much#but also the portrayal of his queerness and his arc being ace and personal growth centered rather than yet another 'tough boy turns gay'#it would be hard to get me to shut up but i will spare you for now#anyways i love cash and darren with my whole heart and i have so many thoughts about them#ca$h piggott#darren rivers#asexual#ace
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no major fic updates just yet guys TAKE MY WOY OC I MADE LIKE. April of last year IM PLUGGING SOME INFO ABOUT THIS GUY IN THE TAGS.
I may also redesign her soon or something. Make her more bug-like with some stuff. I can cook guys let me cook !!!
#THIS IS VAL !!!! dubbed her as a he/she er..#I have lore about this guy and his homeplanet Amore and the Lovebugs..#all that’s really important to know is that ive based the worldbuilding for Amore around svtfoe’s mewni#design wise mostly. I’ll emphasize.#in terms of the societal parts of Amore the kingdom kinda flourishes in the arts of all sorts and trade within the kingdom it goes crazay…#they were pretty closed off from the rest of the galaxy though. like their tech and stuff is pretty outdated compared to most of the other-#planets with atleast escape ships and all that fun stuff.#foreshadowing#ANYHOW lovebugs are silly guys I think of them as like weird hedonistic freaks of sorts#they have very big dionysus worshipping energy to them just to give a perspective#and of course they prioritized relationships and the different forms of love#romance actually wasn’t even the big thing that built the kingdom#it was more like a love for community and friends#which is also kinda silly because of the monarchy aspect to Amore and all that#OH ALSO these guys go absolutely crazy with fashion and makeup. gender isn’t a major thing in the kingdom in my eyes#you WILL serve cunt!! /silly#WORLDBUILDING ASIDEEE Val was the prince to the kingdom and was set to be the heir to the throne#the designs are like three different route ideas ive had for Val#the first is just a baseline design so like. pre amore‘s destruction from dominator#the second is like a good ending design of sorts to my ideal lineup for a season three for woy with val continuing to embrace the lovebugs-#history and culture even with Amore gone and a good portion of her people#and the third. is a bit hard to describe because it’s more of an au but it’s just a concept idea I had of Val teaming up with Dom#(it would be short lived like probably a few months max so dw)#and silly note i joked about the idea of val being an ex to peepers BUT I WANNA DEVELOP THAT MORE BEFORE I SHARE.#tap into that this may be cringe but i am free mindset or something slash silly TEEHEE#BUT YEAH Val’s just a silly gal in my heart and soul no matter what. ive missed her a lot i wanna work on fics with him and especially to-#develop more stuff for Amore and the Lovebugs before Dominator’s destruction of the planet#BUT YEAH i wanna Val post more. go into depth for their dynamic with the other characters and all that#I may cook some more stuff with him once I get these stargazing fics all set and whatnot SO WE’LL SEE!#also /nf but if anyone would wanna ask questions about val/amore/lovebugs ask away I’d love to answer any questions! 🥺
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Im having feelings over my stupid vampire oc
#talkys#my clone who is nothing like me but also everything like me#the wounded aching heart on a leash outside my body#the unwillingness to get attached because once you are attached its over and boy is it over#thinking about how we wouldn't ever get anything done because once talon is attached its nonstop Long Goodbye#the ache over you being gone one day. and well. how could I not also cry about death. he IS my death phobia made vampire#you catch the previously constantly stone faced guy have fits of anguish and clinginess#repeating words and actions so he wont ever forget#howww could you leave his arms when he needs to remember how you feel in them#and that you like my face in your neck but not being bit there#and you like that my body is cold when yours is a furnace. you cant stand having your shoulders grabbed#you hate when wet hair touches your neck and i know where all the moles on your body are#and i know that you like me. and you like me. and you like me#(and the next day he's fighting the urge to cut you and himself up to ribbons for letting/making him feel this way)#(and how getting closer only makes goodbye harder)#(and god - time goes by so fast doesnt it. it goes by so fast.)#(itll hurt then and it hurts now. all it does is hurt)#oc text
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• according to travis beacham max is somewhere 8-9 years old. english bulldog live an average of 7-11 years. so max has about 1-2 years left to live. and this process can accelerate, because chuck died. imagine: max is gone. herc had lost the last thing that connected him to chuck. he never recovered from the loss of his son and now he has lost another family member. herc was left alone with his grief. i–
• it can also be assumed that herc gave chuck a dog for his 12th birthday (or 13th birthday, but i prefer the first option) before entering the academy (a year after the attack of scissure and the death of angela) in the hope of compensating for his absence
• also english bulldog have a friendly, patient, but stubborn nature. honestly i think young chuck was just like that. and that somewhere deep down this little boy is alive
#it's just a few chaotic thoughts that haunt me#im ready to talk about chuck's soft side forever looking at him with max#i mean…have you seen chuck?#he's a cool ranger who acts like a jerk to everyone#but with max he becomes the soft-hearted guy#he smiles at his dog#kneels down to kiss#always feeding yummy#calls him handsome#and always gives his love with the help of attention and physical contact#and im SO sad about it#chuck gave max everything he wanted from herc#and now hes GONE#pacific rim#pacrim#chuck hansen#herc hansen#max hansen
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i think a lot about the finns refusing to take sasha golf ball like they can feel his presence looming over them ready to smite them if they so much as slight him
#its the “OH... you can have it back” for me#mikksy i dont think thats the right answer i feel like sasha is still gonna find a way to use this against you#“no i keep it still :D” ALSO SOMEHOW I DONT THINK THATS THE RIGHT ANSWER EITHER#but congrats to him stealing the sasha ball#please keep him in your prayers#its the way lundy looks at the golfball and refuses to touch that thing#that is a CURSED item#you can see the way hes like somehow i feel like this is a trick question and youre not getting me in trouble with sasha TODAY#its okay sweetheart you dont need help with that you do that on your own just fine#“i dont wanna ruin his face. no.” well trained rookie 🫵#the horrors that mustve gone on in lundys first year to make him have that reaction#remember when luosty was mimicing sasha when hes fussy during practise and then started bullying lundy live on stage#yeah i do too#i say all this with love in my heart#i fully believe catmin asked luosty but for his safety and to save him from sashas wrath did not release the footage 🙏🙏#all hail the sasha ☺️💢#i also think of mikksy knowing full well of sashas temper and playing with fire time and time again#mikksy your “chill guy easy to be with” reputation by sasha is gonna be in jeopardy if you get too silly mikksy he'll kill YOU
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Me trying to explain the importance of unpacking internalized ableism and standing in solidarity with more stigmatized disorders and BEARS REPEATING the internalized ableism that comes with being a high-masking "functional" autistic for most of my life (and somehow this correlates to my philosophies on Queerness and calling myself a Faggot as a rallying cry): "It's exactly like the nazi bar problem, you can't house both sheep and wolves, and also the leopards WILL eat your face."
My therapist:
Me:
me: "Are you familiar with any of that or"
My therapist: "I may need more context."
#head in hands.#being an autistic shut-in guy has a corrupting effect regardless of where you are on the political spectrum.#i thuink alfonse fire emblem would love me for my deep-fried shut-in philosophies thoughj..#ESP as an ex-christian i'm realizing the self-righteousness you absorb from that never goes away.#like back at the main topic i just don't know where the fuck i'd slot that into here.#anyways i should probably be back to baseline soon now that my therapist is back#and now that my sisters are back and now that my dad isn't gone camping for like a week straight.#my therapist and sisters keep me somewhat 'normal' in the sense that i'm a human. i promise.#i think all three factors combined (having the entire house to myself) just. again. uniquely corrupting effect.#not to. make this about alfonse but this is exactly what i was talking about when i said on that poll a bit ago#that i don't think it would take much to corrupt him or have him lose his way early on.#i speak.... from the heart 💖☺️😌
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Realizing the adultification and demonization of Duke and Damian is just. Not gonna stop. El oh el
#demonization more in Damian’s case#and not in the characters can’t do bad things kinda way#but in a writers and readers are so racist they’ll never even acknowledge that they don’t grant him the same grace they do anyone else#especially their white faves in comparison#and with the way they keep tryna spin Ra’s and Talia as being like. perfect parents maybe slightly absent or evil back then but family ppl#at heart it’s just gonna be more excuses to demonize a brown child bc now the very basis of his previous attitude will be gone#i mean for some of you it was never existed or acknowledged but there’s a certain bitterness I’m feeling when y’all can point to a panel#written by someone who’s only read WFA for background and say ‘see its canon that he’s just a murderous asshole for no reason!’#same mfs who can’t tell me three bad things Tim’s done that they don’t fw bc either they’ve never read it or they justify it in their minds#and for Duke it’s like. just removing every aspect of his character bc god forbid u pay attention to a black child who’s not an easy stereo#that’s the difference Damian’s early appearance was very easy for a lot of y’all to stereotype even and at times especially Talia Stans#for Duke u can’t call him ghetto and u can’t call him one of the good ones bc there’s no ‘bad’ ones as a comparison point so he’s just a guy#he’s a good bro :) he’s there :) u don’t know enough about him to speak :)#and honestly if they keep going down the Al Ghuls are perfect route they might shoehorn Damian near that position too#that’d make it three for three when you involve cass. wow the poc of the family being reduced to no character besides propping up the yt#cast. maybe if we go that route and it happens to all three of them some of y’all will make a ‘fandom has a problem 🥺’ post and dip#like always el oh el so exhausted#batfandom racism#tim drake#jason Todd#dick grayson#bruce wayne#Lemme be a bitch today#Duke cass and Damian Stan’s I won’t clog ur dash with this#actually some of u cass Stan’s are….#I’ll just say it a lot of you are racist as fuck and can’t say shit about cass besides she fights good and deserves the world#batfam#wfa#anti wfa
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thinking about future DND character hm hm hm
#lester... he's a rancher turned adventurer.#poor guy had a beautiful herd of cattle that were killed abruptly and en masse#(game context depending; thinking neighbor's pesticides or some attempt at well-poisoning upstream gone wrong)#his herd was insured but the insurance company is going bankrupt so all they could offer him were vouchers for property in the city#but he's also a werewolf and urban livin just ain't for him so he figured it was time to turn a new leaf#he loves his horse more than anything and is just a genuinely good natured fella all around#real salt of the earth cowpoke with a heart of gold#thinking i'm gonna play him as a support class. not sure what tho#also. he goes yeehawoo. if you even care#ctxt#les
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I've been trying to form a coherent post about the... I guess ending of Sewercontrol AU that's all about DJ and Roxy being so excited and emotional queerplatonic partners, reuniting after one is freed from Glitchtrap and the other is finally safe to approach them. I want the cool and fun DJ to have a little fit of zooms for the first time of his life cause it's all over and they get to zoom together now, in tears, hugging every five seconds, being completely incomprehensible to everyone within earshot together...
I just love them your honour. This is the most coherent I've been about them all day.
#i love them!!!!#i have a situation that would allow regular staff to find out how close they are and just be fucking baffled#because WHAT??? those two??? really????? how did THAT happen????#he was playing songs for her whilst glitchtrapped...#in case she was ever close enough to hear.........#cause if he saw her there'd be a fight and he can't bare it so she's been banned on the system#breaking their lil hearts...#she wants to free him so bad and the ban won't stop her coming to see him... neither will the fight if she's caught...#leaving little signs that she's still there cause that's all she can do while he plays his music for her never knowing if she can hear it#do you see???? I'm insane and i love them immensely.#sewercontrol au#they're so ride or die for eachother this situation is killing them...#nobody will visit dj glitchtrapped he's all alone#roxy can't get caught or someone's going to die at LEAST... their hopes of freedom are dashed against the rocks like that...#roxy thankfully has the Minis and if that goes south then well#it's sewercontrol au she makes friends elsewhere but they're not DJ :(#psh lmao the new guys see DJ for the first time while he's in bouncer mode and they all just#'THIS shadow of the collosus motherfucker is who you've been crying about this whole fucking time?! what the FUCK?!'#THEY THOUGHT IT WAS SOME LITTLE PUSHOVER OF A GUY BUT NAH GIANT SPIDER BITCHES YOU SHOULDA GONE FOR HIM FIRST LMAO#they may have made a mistake.#put they promised her now so they can't back out now lmao WHOOPS
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