#his heart is gone you guys
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“before your heart goes out to her” famous last words before mulder meets her and spends the next few days holding her hand begging to help her
#ignoring the stack of work on my desk to write about this episode for the newsletter#because i don’t feel well#but this line made me chuckle#his heart is gone you guys#it’s out#txf#mind’s eye
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getting emotional over footage of an amateur scuba diver interacting with a coelacanth. they are hunted by large deepwater predators, and here comes a large creature bearing the brightest lights it's ever seen, making strange noises, but it does not shy away. it hovers, calmly, as the diver reaches out and trails a hand down its back. im strongly against the anthropomorphizing of real life animals but the stupid emotional part of me loudly insists this is because it recognizes us, the alternating movements of its four paired limbs matching the diver's four paired limbs, & it is thinking, "hello, cousins, we missed you these 66 million years, it's so good to see you again. welcome back, welcome home."
#[OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER: he should NOT have touched the fish. do NOT touch random fish you find while scuba diving#especially if the fish is 6ft long & has sharp teeth#ESPECIALLY if the fish is a critically endangered species#being overwhelmed by the majesty of the coelcanth is understandable but that does not excuse his behavior]#[obligatory disclaimer 2: i know nothing about this guy; by 'amateur' i just mean he wasnt part of a scientific expedition at the time]#[obligatory disclaimer 3: i mean it wasnt CALM. its first dorsal fin was erect which we have reason to believe means it is on edge.#but it didnt flee like you would expect of a wild animal]#...disclaimers over. now im going to wail about how life began in the sea and we left & they stayed#& we thought they were gone & now we're finding our way back home to them#they are so beautiful and they are our family and they love us ok. they do i know it in my heart#coelacanth#Latimeria chalumnae#animals#andy original#ALSO I KNOW THEY HAVE 8 FINS by four paired limbs i mean the pelvic and pectoral the others arent paired they dont move like legs do
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"I was gonna say you're like a son to me.. but you're more than that."
"It ain't that complicated!"
How quickly that shoulder pat of comfort turned into a condescending one.
#he makes me feel so emo#this life was never meant for you but your fate was forced#the way dutch (and hosea) talks to arthur like he's stupid will never sit right with me#like they've been by his side over 20 years they KNOW he isn't stupid because if he was he would have been gone a long time ago#not only is arthur incredibly emotionally smart but he's a trained conman vault breaker gunslinger horse rider you name it#the fact that his own adoptive parents break him down like that hurts#it's a manipulation tactic on dutch's end - break your victims self esteem to make them chase your praise and approval#hosea I believe has just gone along with that kind of attitude but in a different way he just likes to jest lightheartedly#arthur doesn't see the difference though and it's understandable but he takes it to heart#the worst part is that hosea sees through his tough guy act and has called arthur out on it#his act is a defence mechanism to protect himself from being too vulnerable - in arthur's mind#and it isn't a sudden thing it's very likely something that has built over the years given the life he has lived#and hosea notices he knows this#but they still jab at arthur#oh it hurts#is he your son dutch? or is he your guard dog? your personal workhorse?#playing through the second time is opening my eyes more and more#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#mick squeaks#mick rants#mick gifs#arthur morgan#dutch van der linde#liveblogging#you guys gotta understand - arthur seeks and longs for dutch's approval he'll never say it but it's the key motive behind his loyalty#and arthur *rejects* dutch's comfort#he doesn't *want* dutch to pat him on the shoulder because he knows dutch is digging them an even deeper hole#he doesn't want that touch he craves#it's so insanely monumental for such a small scene because it shows us how arthur feels without telling us
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Kingdom Hearts Dream Drop Distance - Braig / Xigbar
#kingdom hearts dream drop distance#khddd#braig#xigbar#my gif#his pointy shoulders deflated with age#...do you ever wonder about his scarf?#radiant garden took pride in its beauty and ansem the wise was a ruler who was beloved and admired by his people (despite... yknow)#so is it safe to assume that being a guard of this world being tasked with protecting the castle/its ruler/and the townspeople-#would be considered a prestigious occupation?#yet we see braig wearing an old tattered scarf#it's a curious addition to his uniform that looks out of place among other guards#i dont think it was added to his design to help him stand out because cmon it's not like he's competing for relevance with dilan and aeleus#braig fights from afar with his guns it's not like he's some scrappy guy that might have messy clothes from battle#i wouldn't be surprised if this was ephemer's scarf that he somehow came into possession of#and is holding onto it with the possibly of it being used as some kind of medium/waypoint#who's to say he's not still wearing it under his organization coat? just because we can't see it anymore doesn't mean it's gone#riku had an entirely different outfit under his own organization coat so who knows what xigbar has under there#i like to think braig used to be scolded for wearing the scarf because it covers up the uniform's emblem#and wearing old ripped articles of clothing isn't part of the image the guards would presumably have to uphold#but eventually they gave up on making him take it off because he just does whatever he wants#just something i think about from time to time#xigbar has always been so mysterious and cryptic i can't help but keep an extra close eye on him#especially since he's been revealed to be so much more than what he seems. who knows what tricks he has up his sleeve#i don't think it's outside the realm of possibility
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Chance encounters in Costa del Sol.
#ffxiv#sketch#zenos yae galvus#meteor survivor#titus yae galvus#arrecina wir galvus#oc#tsukiko date#camilla lunae#imagine trying to get drinks at the bar only to look over and see your presumed dead great uncle/great nephew standing right next to you#meteor- five seconds away from a heart attack looking over at titus#that moment when youre the spitting image of your father and the warrior of light was *not* aware of that fact#the galvus' are not allowed to have normal vacations#or... well retirement in Titus' case#I am simply here to draw the unaccounted for garlean royals lmao#eventually i'll draw zenos' half sibling(s?) and varis' retainers annia and julia out of their armor#but for now you guys just get to see my silly bullshit of sixty something y/o titus deciding that with nerva gone he's just gonna retire#mans is done with it#im probably gonna end up writing him as the legatus of the 8th- and probably a machinist that eventually becomes a gunbreaker#after lucius passes this man is over all of it#no nonsense machine commanding leader ect ect.#probably dual wielding the gunblade with an actual gun tbh lol#old man doesnt look like wrinkly solus because he spent his life taking care of himself to deal with just... the galvus family in general#dont let the strands deceive you all his grey hair is hidden under the rest of it all lmao#the galvus family brain rot continues and its not going to let me go v-v#(also dont mind meteor teasing tsu for hiding in his shade she does this a lot)
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the coolest kids in forgotten valley!!☆
(…it seems there may have been a stretch of time where rock and lumina were the only kids in forgotten valley…🥲)
poseref
#in the remake hugh and the player’s kid are the same number of years apart#so i can see them having very similar conversations n friendship#surely these two kids will grow up well adjusted and they will have no lasting effects from this kind of isolation. they will be fine#i have been thinking a lot about what their childhoods were like. i want to protect both of them#everyone who has anything to say about them as kids says that both of them were not well behaved children at all#tei says rock was rambunctious and energetic and hard to handle. sebastian says lumina was less than amenable#rock says he was bored to death when he first came here and lumina asks you not to tell romana that she’s lonely#lumina also hated wearing dresses so. she is very mad and ready to bite people maybe#sos awl#bokumono#my art#rock tumbling (sos)#harvest moon#story of seasons#story of seasons a wonderful life#bokujou monogatari#i like to imagine a au where pony and cecilia come to visit their family’s respective farms#so these two can have more friends ;w;#i am always thinking about how they were both severed from their families and taken in by someone else at a young age to live in nowhere#and they are both not exactly enthused about following the path laid out for them#headcanon ⚠️ i wonder if rock’s moving out on his own happened when he was a teenager. he was extremely confident everything would work out#anyway he got fired from every job ever and after many years came crawling back. and he came crawling back blond#at the time of chapter 1 lumina is baffled by the state of the guy she grew up with. why is he using dated slang and wearing disco costume#she is also kind of mad at him for having been gone for so long#hc rock probably had more freedom as a kid than lumina did which probably annoyed her#once again takakura retrieves a small rock from the goddess pond and he’s covered in poison ivy bee stings etc. no remorse#lumina from her window on the hill feels somehow jealous of these misadventures#lumina mentions in her heart event that she doesn’t often visit the beach because her skin burns easily#meanwhile rock was probably playing outside always. if his kid is any indication#idk i like thinking about the history of this extremely small village
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MOM THE FUCKING DEMON POSSESSED ME AGAIN AND IT DIDN'T WANNA WORK ON ANIMATRONICS BANGS HEAD
Singles under the cut!
#anyways hi yes i dont CARE if you dont know dragonball you are GOING to peep my babies#dragonball ocs#these are. very specifically for db xenoverse 2 do you understand how mentally unwell i am about that game#and how ANGUISHED i am that APPARENTLY THERE'S BEEN FUCKING. STORY SHIT HAPPENING AND I NEVER KNEW!!!!!!!!!!#anyways hi these are my sillies that have gone through So Many fucking redesigns oh my god#kallabash used to be a girl. not anymore [transgenderfication beam be upon ye] /hj#jericho oh my god sweet baby i've been fighting for my life#BUT NOT AS MUCH AS RAINE OH MY GOD HE'S GONE THROUGH THE MOST ITERATIONS FOR FUCKS SAKE#anywhoooo something something if you know the gist of the xenoverse games- these guys are a big team!#kallabash jericho and blizzard are heavy hitters#whilst keyta and lulu provide support and then there's raine who actually is a talented inventor bc#i think we can have more of that as a treat#i've been. thinking about these fuckers on and off for a few months now and the fucking#shenanigans these idiots have/would get into#heart emojis <33#they're gonna be on artfight and. now excuse me while i fight with lesbians and the tumblr sexyman (apparently)#dbxv2 ocs#dbxv2 oc#xenoverse 2 oc#xenoverse 2 ocs#namekian oc#majin oc#saiyan oc#icejin oc
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Ink October day 3: Sophistry
An argument that seems plausible, but is fallacious or misleading, especially one devised deliberately to be so.
#khux#khux player#kh player#kingdom hearts#kh#kingdom hearts union x#kingdom hearts player#player my beloved#blue boi draws#ink october#ink October 2024#ink October 2024 day 3#watched a bunch of Player cutscenes for this one and Aug AUHG I love them. I always forget how much of a character Player is#but they are truly their own guy. more then even some non-renameable/customisable game protagonists#the utter guts on this kid to challenge multiple foretellers multiple times,fight both Ephemer and Skuld at the same time-#(both very powerful in their own right),AND attempt and succeeded in tricking four of the personifications of darkness themselves is… wow#they’re such a powerful fighter too. like they kick both Skuld and Ephemer’s asses,and sure they were both not aiming to kill and exhausted#from fighting Ven’s darkness BUT SO WAS PLAYER (as well as having just come from the arcade and those fights)#them fooling the darknesses too… along side their two closest friends… I wonder if there was any noticeable change between their normal#fighting style and the one they used there. Skuld and Ephemer didn’t necessarily see them fighting during the war#(only heartless or against one appoint) so I wonder if they fought like that.#the ‘argument that is plausible but misleading’ here is Player being possessed. with all the information available to them it is plausible#but we know for a fact that player is just straight up lying. making shit up. mimicking how darkness spoke before to pretend. which is ki#kinda hilarious to me like you go girl gaslight gatekeep girlboss. gaslight them into believing you’re possessed gatekeep them from dying to#trap darkness and girlboss by winning. amazing beautiful 10/10#I like to think Ephemer never realised、at least while he was alive. something in the tragedy of him never knowing.#of not recogising his dear friend through their deception. of dying thinking he failed them. that it wasn’t their choice.#and he did fail them in a way. there’s this recurring theme in Kingdom Hearts where the hurt lingers despite the memories being gone.#Player is very much effected by this with their memories of the war being gone but still suffering. Ephemer stands by the decision to hide#it thinking it spares them from the burden but it doesn’t it just takes away the context and they deserve to know what happened to them
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Something I just now realized is that the beam of light mephiles used to kill sonic in 06 looks more like a sharp glowing gem/blade in shadow gens. Like it looks like a gem protruding from his hand that he can control the length of
Mephiles quite literally stabbed sonic to death
#ramblings#can you imagine how pissed sonic was learning how he died#he's this guy who's faster than sound and sometimes even faster than light#and this ugly bitch comes up behind him and just. stabs him in the back while he's distracted#and it fucking works. he dies#he doesn't even get the chance to fight back and have a fair and square battle to the death#no it's just. over. just like that#i'd be beyond pissed let me tell you#it's not even like. creative either#he's had a genie basically put a curse on him that slowly burns him alive from the inside out#he hasn't gone through the metal virus yet but he will eventually and that's infinitely more creative than what mephiles did#same with the cyber corruption#couldn't even have like. gems sprouting from his heart or something. it wasn't even flashy or cool#like damn. you killed me AND it looked lame as shit? come on
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i know we all joke about the best ace rep and our favourite character being an eshay (and tbf im european that word means nothing to me) but imo thats one of my favourite things about his characterisation: the fact that he is not something an allo audience would mecessarily expect or imagine to be ace.
small disclaimer, im happy with any ace rep we get in the first place and if you do like what im about to describe more power to you, this is just my personal opinion.
That being said, i love that cash is kind of an 'unconventional' ace character, for lack of a better word. all too often ace characters fall into one of two stereotypes, either the heartless cold robot that is already kind of weird or other in itself and does not care about your or anyone elses feelings (this also includes nd coded characters), or the innocent sweetheart who is so pure and cute and has (most likely) one singular character trait (somehow almost always books). again, there is nothing inherently wrong with this since these people exist in real life, but they do push yhe aspec community further into the little boxes that allos have already put us in.
Now what i love so much about cash is that he is one of the most clearly genuinely kind people in the show. Despite him being surrounded by bad company, he is constantly shown to be gentle and sweet with his grandma and is obviously uncomfortable with the whole harper situation the entire time (not saying he handled this perfectly but thats not what this post is about). He is shown to clearly care about people deeply and he is not afraid to show this, except for when he is in bad company.
However, him having and showing emotions does not push him into the pure innocent cinnamon roll part either. He goes out to parties, does engage in enough sexual activities to end up the map, openly flirts with darren and is totally rocking his mardi gras outfit (including thong on head) without hesitating once. He is also stereotypically a 'tough guy', which is also not a type of guy too often represented as any sort of queer in popular media afaik. all in all the way cash is portrayed as an eshay to me makes him being aspec so much more valuable to me and while i understand the eshay posts are mostly jokes i did want to talk about it
#heartbreak high#jeez im rambling#sorry guys#i couldve gone on for ages about this but i feel like this is already too much#but also the portrayal of his queerness and his arc being ace and personal growth centered rather than yet another 'tough boy turns gay'#it would be hard to get me to shut up but i will spare you for now#anyways i love cash and darren with my whole heart and i have so many thoughts about them#ca$h piggott#darren rivers#asexual#ace
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damn remember when ichigo went full hollow and orihime was terrified of him but when ulquiorra, someone she has only known as a hollow and kidnapped her by threatening to murder all her friends and spent her whole imprisonment intimidating her, asked her if she was afraid of him she said she wasn't
🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃
LIKE WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THAT????????
#did he just mindlessly stumble into these parallels#am i really not supposed to think that orihime being afraid of the monster that the guy she's in 'love' with turned into FOR HER#and her not being afraid of the guy who has done NOTHING but MENACE her ISN'T POINTED AND SAYS SOMETHING VERY CLEAR ABOUT HER RELATIONSHIPS#WITH THEM?#DOES THAT NOT PROJECT A VERY CLEAR MESSAGE THAT SHE KNOWS THE SOUL OF ONE AND NOT THE OTHER#THAT SHE CAN'T ACCEPT THE REALITY OF SOMEONE SHE'S ADMIRED FOR YEARS BUT APPRECIATES THE HUMANITY OF A FULL-TIME MONSTER?#ulquihime have a very ''i know i'm a monster but you treat me like a man'' type relationship#this is the pattern of ih scenes they're always Almost romantic lol#ichigo totally losing himself to his darker side in his need to protect her can easily be read as romantic#but then she??? completely rejects him?????????#AND THEN ALL BUT LITERALLY GIVES ULQUIORRA HER HEART!!!!!!!!!#REACHES TO HOLD HIS HAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#bleaching#don't get me started about ichigo not administering the final blow with ulquiorra because both he and kubo fucking forgot how zanpakuto wor#ulquiorra could have been purified and gone to soul society and become a regular character but noooooooooooooooo#at least that scene is romantic af#even if AGAIN LIKE I KEEP SAYING an editor needed to be like uh hey sensei. remember. remember what zanpakuto do.#hey sensei. why don't we ever see hollows as souls in soul society. hey.#anyway.
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no major fic updates just yet guys TAKE MY WOY OC I MADE LIKE. April of last year IM PLUGGING SOME INFO ABOUT THIS GUY IN THE TAGS.
I may also redesign her soon or something. Make her more bug-like with some stuff. I can cook guys let me cook !!!
#THIS IS VAL !!!! dubbed her as a he/she er..#I have lore about this guy and his homeplanet Amore and the Lovebugs..#all that’s really important to know is that ive based the worldbuilding for Amore around svtfoe’s mewni#design wise mostly. I’ll emphasize.#in terms of the societal parts of Amore the kingdom kinda flourishes in the arts of all sorts and trade within the kingdom it goes crazay…#they were pretty closed off from the rest of the galaxy though. like their tech and stuff is pretty outdated compared to most of the other-#planets with atleast escape ships and all that fun stuff.#foreshadowing#ANYHOW lovebugs are silly guys I think of them as like weird hedonistic freaks of sorts#they have very big dionysus worshipping energy to them just to give a perspective#and of course they prioritized relationships and the different forms of love#romance actually wasn’t even the big thing that built the kingdom#it was more like a love for community and friends#which is also kinda silly because of the monarchy aspect to Amore and all that#OH ALSO these guys go absolutely crazy with fashion and makeup. gender isn’t a major thing in the kingdom in my eyes#you WILL serve cunt!! /silly#WORLDBUILDING ASIDEEE Val was the prince to the kingdom and was set to be the heir to the throne#the designs are like three different route ideas ive had for Val#the first is just a baseline design so like. pre amore‘s destruction from dominator#the second is like a good ending design of sorts to my ideal lineup for a season three for woy with val continuing to embrace the lovebugs-#history and culture even with Amore gone and a good portion of her people#and the third. is a bit hard to describe because it’s more of an au but it’s just a concept idea I had of Val teaming up with Dom#(it would be short lived like probably a few months max so dw)#and silly note i joked about the idea of val being an ex to peepers BUT I WANNA DEVELOP THAT MORE BEFORE I SHARE.#tap into that this may be cringe but i am free mindset or something slash silly TEEHEE#BUT YEAH Val’s just a silly gal in my heart and soul no matter what. ive missed her a lot i wanna work on fics with him and especially to-#develop more stuff for Amore and the Lovebugs before Dominator’s destruction of the planet#BUT YEAH i wanna Val post more. go into depth for their dynamic with the other characters and all that#I may cook some more stuff with him once I get these stargazing fics all set and whatnot SO WE’LL SEE!#also /nf but if anyone would wanna ask questions about val/amore/lovebugs ask away I’d love to answer any questions! 🥺
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Im having feelings over my stupid vampire oc
#talkys#my clone who is nothing like me but also everything like me#the wounded aching heart on a leash outside my body#the unwillingness to get attached because once you are attached its over and boy is it over#thinking about how we wouldn't ever get anything done because once talon is attached its nonstop Long Goodbye#the ache over you being gone one day. and well. how could I not also cry about death. he IS my death phobia made vampire#you catch the previously constantly stone faced guy have fits of anguish and clinginess#repeating words and actions so he wont ever forget#howww could you leave his arms when he needs to remember how you feel in them#and that you like my face in your neck but not being bit there#and you like that my body is cold when yours is a furnace. you cant stand having your shoulders grabbed#you hate when wet hair touches your neck and i know where all the moles on your body are#and i know that you like me. and you like me. and you like me#(and the next day he's fighting the urge to cut you and himself up to ribbons for letting/making him feel this way)#(and how getting closer only makes goodbye harder)#(and god - time goes by so fast doesnt it. it goes by so fast.)#(itll hurt then and it hurts now. all it does is hurt)#oc text
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• according to travis beacham max is somewhere 8-9 years old. english bulldog live an average of 7-11 years. so max has about 1-2 years left to live. and this process can accelerate, because chuck died. imagine: max is gone. herc had lost the last thing that connected him to chuck. he never recovered from the loss of his son and now he has lost another family member. herc was left alone with his grief. i–
• it can also be assumed that herc gave chuck a dog for his 12th birthday (or 13th birthday, but i prefer the first option) before entering the academy (a year after the attack of scissure and the death of angela) in the hope of compensating for his absence
• also english bulldog have a friendly, patient, but stubborn nature. honestly i think young chuck was just like that. and that somewhere deep down this little boy is alive
#it's just a few chaotic thoughts that haunt me#im ready to talk about chuck's soft side forever looking at him with max#i mean…have you seen chuck?#he's a cool ranger who acts like a jerk to everyone#but with max he becomes the soft-hearted guy#he smiles at his dog#kneels down to kiss#always feeding yummy#calls him handsome#and always gives his love with the help of attention and physical contact#and im SO sad about it#chuck gave max everything he wanted from herc#and now hes GONE#pacific rim#pacrim#chuck hansen#herc hansen#max hansen
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i think a lot about the finns refusing to take sasha golf ball like they can feel his presence looming over them ready to smite them if they so much as slight him
#its the “OH... you can have it back” for me#mikksy i dont think thats the right answer i feel like sasha is still gonna find a way to use this against you#“no i keep it still :D” ALSO SOMEHOW I DONT THINK THATS THE RIGHT ANSWER EITHER#but congrats to him stealing the sasha ball#please keep him in your prayers#its the way lundy looks at the golfball and refuses to touch that thing#that is a CURSED item#you can see the way hes like somehow i feel like this is a trick question and youre not getting me in trouble with sasha TODAY#its okay sweetheart you dont need help with that you do that on your own just fine#“i dont wanna ruin his face. no.” well trained rookie 🫵#the horrors that mustve gone on in lundys first year to make him have that reaction#remember when luosty was mimicing sasha when hes fussy during practise and then started bullying lundy live on stage#yeah i do too#i say all this with love in my heart#i fully believe catmin asked luosty but for his safety and to save him from sashas wrath did not release the footage 🙏🙏#all hail the sasha ☺️💢#i also think of mikksy knowing full well of sashas temper and playing with fire time and time again#mikksy your “chill guy easy to be with” reputation by sasha is gonna be in jeopardy if you get too silly mikksy he'll kill YOU
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Me trying to explain the importance of unpacking internalized ableism and standing in solidarity with more stigmatized disorders and BEARS REPEATING the internalized ableism that comes with being a high-masking "functional" autistic for most of my life (and somehow this correlates to my philosophies on Queerness and calling myself a Faggot as a rallying cry): "It's exactly like the nazi bar problem, you can't house both sheep and wolves, and also the leopards WILL eat your face."
My therapist:
Me:
me: "Are you familiar with any of that or"
My therapist: "I may need more context."
#head in hands.#being an autistic shut-in guy has a corrupting effect regardless of where you are on the political spectrum.#i thuink alfonse fire emblem would love me for my deep-fried shut-in philosophies thoughj..#ESP as an ex-christian i'm realizing the self-righteousness you absorb from that never goes away.#like back at the main topic i just don't know where the fuck i'd slot that into here.#anyways i should probably be back to baseline soon now that my therapist is back#and now that my sisters are back and now that my dad isn't gone camping for like a week straight.#my therapist and sisters keep me somewhat 'normal' in the sense that i'm a human. i promise.#i think all three factors combined (having the entire house to myself) just. again. uniquely corrupting effect.#not to. make this about alfonse but this is exactly what i was talking about when i said on that poll a bit ago#that i don't think it would take much to corrupt him or have him lose his way early on.#i speak.... from the heart 💖☺️😌
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