#his english is so fucking weird /pos

[peotego]

Unconditionally | James' POV

Pairing: James Potter x fem!Black!reader

Summary: Unconditionally but from James' POV.

Warnings: some swear words, Sirius being an ass in the beginning, my English? (since it’s not my first language)

Words: 3,5k+

Masterlist

In James Potter’s life, there was only one girl.

The only girl he ever had eyes on.

Oh, how he loved to look at her smile or laugh with her friends. How he adored the way she would throw her head back when he told a really funny joke. How absolutely and utterly in love with her he was.

He sometimes looked at her as if she was the one who hung the stars and the moon herself. As if she was the ruler of an old kingdom and he was supposed to serve her night and day. She was the first person he thought about in the morning and the last one in his mind before going to sleep.

But she was also his best friend’s sister.

She was untouchable.

And James Potter was seriously fucked.

He remembered when he first thought about her in a non-friendly way. It was quite soon when she stopped being just a buddy he would hang out with and started being the girl.

It was shortly after the Christmas break in their first year. (Y/N) and Sirius were already on a train and he came in late. (Y/N) was wearing a black dress and that was the first time when James noticed she was actually a girl. Of course, the girls in Hogwarts were wearing skirts as the uniform required it but James never paid a mind to it. However on that very train at the beginning of January, he noticed that one of his mates was a beautiful girl.

He didn’t know what to do with those feelings so he tried talking to his best friend about it.

A bad idea, right? Since his best friend was also a brother of the girl he was developing feelings for.

”Sirius, we need to talk”

”What’s up, mate?” Sirius was lying on his bed mindlessly playing with some spells he read about. Remus was in the common room trying to read a book and Peter was nowhere to be found.

”I think I have a crush on this girl” confessed James. That caught Sirius’ attention as he smiled wickedly.

”Really? Who is she?”

”It’s (Y/N)”

”(Y/N)? As in my sister (Y/N)?”

”Well, yeah”

James looked at his best friend expectantly. He did expect a piece of advice on what to do with those feelings or how to act on them. What he did not expect was the outburst.

Sirius was angry, furious even.

”James, she is my sister, you can’t have a crush on her!” Sirius stood from the bed and looked at James in shock ”She is my sister!” He repeated ”She is off limits for you. If you ever try to pursue her, it will ruin our friendship! Imagine what would happen if things didn’t work out between you two. How am I supposed to pick sides? What would you expect me to do? Side with you? Because I couldn’t do that! She is my family and I would have to pick her over you! Do you really want to ruin our friendship like that? Does it really mean that little to you?”

”Sirius, calm down” James panicked ”It’s just a stupid crush, it will pass”

”It better do, James, because we’re gonna have a big problem”

For a few days, James avoided (Y/N) like a plague. He was only eleven years old and he really thought that by acting on his weird feelings he would completely ruin his friendship with Sirius. It didn't help that by saying "we're gonna have a big problem" James thought Sirius implied he would beat him up.

James would not only lose (Y/N) but also Sirius. So he tried to get over it.

*~*~*

But in their third year, he still had those feelings. He was still crushing on his best friend’s sister. And he was truly terrified.

He started to hate those butterflies that appeared whenever (Y/N) was in the same room, whenever she talked to him, laughed with him, or touched his shoulder.

It was so obvious that Sirius picked on it and started a very serious talk with his friends one night.

”Guys, gather up, we need to talk about something very important” Remus looked at James and raised his eyebrows as if James knew what it was all about. Potter only shrugged his shoulders. When all three boys gathered close to Sirius’ bed, Black started talking.

”You’re probably wondering what is this all about. So let me explain. Birds told me that one of you has unconventional feelings for my sister. Look, I get it. (Y/N) is amazing. She’s smart, funny, kind, and she’s got this incredible smile that can light up a room. Believe me, I know, I live with her. Guys, respect the boundaries. Falling in love with my sister can complicate our friendship and put my sister in a tough spot, and I don’t want her to feel uncomfortable or pressured in any way. I want you all to know that I appreciate you guys. We’ve got each other’s backs, we’re like a family. I want to trust you and I want to know that you won’t hurt my sister. Let’s keep the love we have for (Y/N) as sisterly as possible and keep our romantic interests directed somewhere else.”

”What?” Asked Peter when Sirius ended his little TED talk ”Who has a crush on (Y/N)? Is it you Remus?”

”Doesn’t matter” said Sirius quickly ”Just promise me, all of you, that you will never ever fall in love with my sister”

James stared at his best friend in disbelief. He felt betrayed, slapped in the face. What was he supposed to do other than agree to Sirius’ madness?

”Well, I can promise you that,” Remus said as the first one of the group.

”Me too” added Peter.

Sirius looked expectantly at James as the other two of their friends also looked his way. So as not to look suspicious, James shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly.

”Yeah, sure, I have my eyes on a different girl, I think she’ll be the future Mrs Potter” James lied. It was so easy to do so that he was surprised himself.

”Oh, yeah? Who is she?” Sirius didn’t believe him at all, he still remembered the conversation they had in their first year, and he still remembered the way James looked at his sister with lovey-dovey eyes.

”It’s… Lily Evans!” James himself was surprised when he heard what he had said. Lily Evans was one of (Y/N)’s friends, they were inseparable, always sitting together, laughing together, or whispering about some secrets during dinner. It was an obvious choice. Simple.

”My, my, James” Sirius smirked ”Then we have to ensure you go on a date with Evans soon!”

From that day forward James Potter pursued Lily Evans, even though he never liked her as more than a friend. But he wanted Sirius to stop being suspicious of him.

So he declared his love for the redhead girl the next morning to the whole school.

*~*~*

As years went by James’ feelings for (Y/N) only grew stronger. Each encounter with Sirius’ sister became an exquisite torture, a stolen sip from a well of emotions. He observed her, like a creepy stalker.

In the deepest parts of him, James harbored an affection, silent and concealed, a love he knew was not his to claim. He was a prisoner of this affection, torn between loyalty to his best friend and the magnetic pull of his heart towards his best friend’s sister.

When during one party in their 6th year Marlene suggested a game of Spin the Bottle, James was excited. That was his way to steal a kiss from the girl of his dreams without Sirius growing suspicious of him. It was only a game after all, right?

But when Remus mentioned that he shared his first real kiss with (Y/N) Black, James saw green. He sulked in his seat sending daggers into his friend’s back. If looks could kill, Remus would be long dead by now. And when he got to be the first one to kiss her in the game, years later, James’ angry fist hit the floor a little too much which made Mary look at him with a smirk.

As the game progressed James became more desperate so without his friends knowing he enchanted the bottle when (Y/N) spun it so it would definitely land on him.

He watched as her eyes went wide with the realisation of who she was supposed to kiss and James was scared for a minute that she would choose to tell the truth and drink instead of kissing him. But she didn’t. And he couldn’t be happier.

Her demeanor quickly changed and she smirked wickedly while saying ”Two out of three. Better get ready Peter”

Sirius shouted something about this whole situation being disgusting but James paid no mind to him. He was definitely too drunk to care. Slowly he got up from the place where he sat on the floor and made his way to (Y/N). When he positioned himself before her, he looked deep into her eyes and, oh Merlin, how he loved those eyes. Those eyes held the power over him. He marveled at the way they sparkled like stars in a night sky. He loved the way her eyes crinkled at the corners when she laughed, how he could read her like an open book only by one look.

James put his hand on (Y/N)’s cheek and leaned into her. When his lips crushed on hers James could swear he saw fireworks. And when she kissed him back with just as much force he could only smile into the kiss. He pushed his tongue inside her mouth while she grasped his shirt trying to bring him closer. Oh, sweet Merlin, James could only dream about a moment like that. When (Y/N) bit his lower lip he couldn’t help but moan.

James tried bringing her closer to him if that was even possible, but his drunk self had too much strength and they fell to the ground, (Y/N)’s body under his.

”That’s enough, Prongs, it’s my sister” Sirius’ strong arms pulled James from (Y/N). Potter couldn’t help himself and grimaced but luckily Sirius didn’t see anything because he helped his sister get up. The only person who saw his face was Lily as she smiled at him knowingly.

*~*~*

That same night when the girls went to their dorm, Sirius started a conversation.

”How is it, Prongs, that you’re supposedly in love with Evans but couldn’t get enough of my sister while kissing her, hm? I thought you two were gonna have sex right in front of us”

”Padfoot, please, stop it already. We talked about it in our third year”

”Yeah, I remember, but I can’t shake the feeling that you lied to me”

”Padfoot…”

”He’s not wrong, James,” said Peter getting ready for bed ”You two looked very… comfortable”

”Horny, Wormtail, the word you were looking for is horny” added Sirius. ”See? I’m not the only one seeing this!”

”You’re all delusional. I’m going to bed”

So the next day during breakfast James shouted how much he loved Lily Evans even though it wasn’t true. And Evans kinda looked disappointed.

*~*~*

When the summer break between their 6th and 7th year at Hogwarts came, Sirius and (Y/N) spent it at the Potters. And while James couldn’t be more happy about it he was also angry that his best friend tried to be everywhere with them. Sirius wouldn’t leave (Y/N) and James alone even for one minute.

So when Sirius felt sick, James tried to twist the situation to his advantage and asked (Y/N) if she wanted to stargaze with him.

”Jamie, your father wants me to marry you,” she said unexpectedly and James felt shivers run down his spine. He would kill Fleamont Potter for his big mouth later.

”What?!”

”Yeah, crazy, right? He thinks I’m your mystery girl”

Because you are and he knows it, thought James to himself.

”Oh, and what did you tell him?”

”That it’s definitely not me. That I know the girl you have a crush on and he said that we’ll see”

”I have no idea why he said that, I’m very sorry” After what she said James thought that she wasn’t interested in him in any way. He needed to protect his own heart. So he distanced himself.

”No big deal, Potter”

While James was sulking and drowning in his own unrequited feelings, (Y/N) suddenly spoke again.

”James”

”(Y/N)”

”I’ve been thinking about you and Lily for a while”

What?

”Oh?”

”Yeah. I think she doesn’t deserve you”

That’s interesting, thought James.

”How so?”

”You see, Jamie, you’ve been trying to get the girl since we were thirteen years old and she’s still not even slightly interested in going on a date with you. She’s always laughing at you, turning you down. I don’t think that’s very good for you. I get that you’re in love with her but maybe you should start thinking about yourself a little bit?”

A stupid, stupid heart that started to beat faster. A glimmer of hope appeared inside of James.

”What do you mean?”

”You deserve the world, James Potter. You deserve a girl who will be madly in love with you. You deserve a girl who will love you unconditionally. You are a good guy. Sure, you have your faults. We all have them. But you should be loved the way you love other people - wholeheartedly. I don’t think Lily is the right girl for you. I'm also not saying you should do whatever I’m telling you right now. I just believe you should think about it a little bit and decide if it’s even worth it. Because you, James Potter, are definitely worth it and it’s her loss if she cannot see that”

If James Potter was confused before, imagine him in that moment. (Y/N) Black made no sense to him. She said that he should look for a girl that would give him all the love he deserved but she didn’t see that she was the girl he already loved.

So James did what he always did when he was confused. He joked.

”Wow, Black, do you have a crush on me or something?”

”You’re also an idiot” She slapped his shoulder and just like that they got back to where they started - to being just friends, which James hated by the way. "I’m your friend, I just hate to see you struggling so much."

”You are a good mate, (Y/N) Thank you for always looking out for me”

Idiot, idiot, idiot.

He didn’t mean to say it.

But what are you supposed to say to the girl you love when you’re not sure if she harbors the same feelings for you?

He gently took her hand In his and interceded their fingers. How he longed for that to mean more.

”Always”

*~*~*

After that conversation, when their 7th year began, James Potter promised himself that he would do absolutely everything in his power to convince (Y/N) Black that they were meant to be. So he stopped pursuing Lily Evans and after a long talk with her, when she advised him to just stop listening to Sirius and finally get the girl of his dreams, he began thinking about his master plan.

James Potter did everything a boy romantically interested in a girl would do, at least that's what he thought. He always sat next to her in classes, and he partnered up with her which made Sirius angry, he sat with her in the library and just watched as she was doing her homework, he walked her to her classes even when they had different ones and it meant he would be late to his.

So when the time came in October, when the Marauders’ prank was planned to happen, James was excited. He was the one who told the Ravenclaw prefect to be in that specific corridor at that time, he even paid him to be there. So when he started to chase the group and Remus suggested scattering, James paid no mind to anybody else while he grabbed (Y/N)’s hand and dragged her to the broom closet nearby.

And in that broom closet, he was finally able to confess his feelings. When (Y/N) said she reciprocated his feeling he couldn’t help himself.

But then the realisation came and James was mortified.

If he thought that the conversation with Sirius Black wasn’t going to be a big problem, he must have been an idiot. He had the girl of his dreams but he was scared to death with the thought of losing his best friend. In all of his master plan, James Potter didn’t think beyond the moment of saying ”I love you” in the broom closet. He wouldn’t dare to dream about (Y/N) reciprocating his feelings.

So now he had a problem.

(Y/N) and James dated in secret for a month while James thought about how to break the news to his best friend. (Y/N) only laughed at his imaginary scenarios because she thought her brother wouldn’t have that big of a problem.

She was right, Sirius Black grew up since they were all thirteen years old.

But James Potter was still scared.

”Padfoot,” said James looking in the direction of his best friend. Sirius was lying on the bed just like he was six years ago when they first talked about it. Remus was reading a book nearby while Peter was looking franticly for his Transfiguration essay. ”I need to talk to you”

”What’s up, Prongs? You have an idea for our next prank? Because I think (Y/N) mentioned something about invading Slytherin common room and painting it red and gold and I would love to do that”

”No, but it does concern (Y/N)”

”I'm all ears ten”

”Remember when we first talked about me having a crush on your sister when we were eleven?”

”It was you?” Shouted Peter surprised ”I literally thought it was Remus who fancied (Y/N)”

”Shut up, Wormtail. James is going to say something important. I remember. Go on, mate” Sirius tried not to smile. He knew already. (Y/N) told him but he patiently waited for his best friend to finally confess.

”And remember when you came up with that stupid rule when we were thirteen?”

”Yeah”

”And remember when I said I fancy Lily Evans then?”

”I think we all remember”

”I lied”

”I know”

”I’m madly in love with your sister, Padfoot. And I’m sorry, I really tried to get over her so as not to ruin our friendship. Merlin, I tried so hard but it’s impossible. I believe she’s the love of my life, mate. I want to make her happy, I want to be the one she smiles at, I want to tell her all the jokes just to hear her laugh, I want to marry her one day. That’s why I’m sorry, Padfoot. Because you are my best friend and I didn’t listen to you, I went behind your back, and lied to you for a month. But I'm not sorry for loving your sister. I believe (Y/N) is the one”

There was silence between the four of them for a while.

James looked as if he was about to die, Peter looked at his best friend with wide eyes, Remus tried to cover up his laugh behind a book, and Sirius… Sirius was staring at his friend without showing any emotion.

”What time is it, Wormtail?” Asked the Black heir instead.

”Um, it’s almost midnight, why?”

”And what day is it?”

”November 29th?”

”Moony, my dear, pay up”

”What?” James was surprised. He expected screaming, maybe a hex or two directed at him. But Sirius was completely calm when he grabbed a few galleons from Remus.

”You see, Prongs, I already knew. You weren’t very subtle over the years. I suspected something but you always insisted you loved Evans so I waited, patiently may I add. And finally, you broke down. I expected you would do so in our 7th year somewhere close to the end of November, Moony said that’s impossible and opted for the end of our 7th year. Prongs, I just won a bet thanks to you.”

”You’re not mad?”

”Well, you see, I would be mad if we were children. But we grew up since that time, mate. I feel weird knowing that you’re snogging my sister but as long as you’re both happy, it’s fine with me. Just don’t hurt her cause then I would be obliged to hurt you too. You know, because I’m the older brother and so on”

”I don’t intend on hurting her, Padfoot. I want to marry her”

*~*~*

Just like James Potter said, he actually did marry (Y/N) Black two years later. And Sirius gave the most hilarious best man’s speech everyone has ever heard mentioning that he always knew these two would end up together (to which Remus screamed ”NOT TRUE” so loud that Peter fell from his chair).

A year later, they all attended Sirius and Remus' wedding.

And only a few days later (Y/N) found out she was pregnant. James couldn't have been happier, and Sirius shouted something about being the best godfather on the whole planet.

When they all decorated the nursery, James could only smile. With his best friends by his side, the love of his life sleeping soundly in their shared bedroom, and the baby soon to be born, he had everything he ever dreamed of.

And all was well.

[kairiscorner]

ok, i'll be out with it, ako'y isang pinoy RRRGHHHHH tagalog is so fucking hard, help so i kinda had an idea to cope with my shitty filipino exam scores:

(also i'm sorry for the crappy spanish, please correct me on it if you'd like!)

miles morales x filipino reader

YOU WOULD MAKE HIM LISTEN TO IV OF SPADES, THEIR SHIT IS FUCKING FIRE, your songs with him are "mundo" and "come inside of my heart"

miles would sing "come inside of my heart" out loud when he's listening to it on his headphones, especially when he's alone in his room, it's in his playlist now bc of you.

YOU'D MAKE HIM LISTEN TO ERASERHEADS, you probably knew them bc of your parents, your favorite song to listen to with him is "ang huling el bimbo" (umiyak ng malala)

and ben & ben........ ARAW-ARAW IS Y'ALL'S SONG, CHANGE MY MIND

if you're like me, you have no two braincells that understand how to use tagalog or use its tenses properly, but you aren't used to using fluid english that well, so you speak taglish.

being part puerto rican and learning some spanish from his mom, i think you and miles would understand each other a little when using tagalog or spanish.

you both fear the slipper.

when you first met his parents, JUSME, THEY LOVED YOU.

they didn't understand at first what the "mano po" meant, but you explained it was a sign to accept blessings from your elders, and you always called them "tita" and "tito", which rio LOVED OMG.

"Entonces, ¿cuándo vas a invitarlos a una cita? (so, when are you going to ask them out on a date?) " rio would always ask miles this when you were around, and he'd be choking on air or clearing his throat and just laugh it off.

when you offered them rice cakes once, rio asked what they were called, and she almost choked when you said "ah, puto po"

"¿ESTO SE LLAMA COMO? (THIS IS WHAT?)"

jeff wanted more puto, but rio'd pinch his ear when he'd say "puto", she knows it's the name, but she feels kinda weird about it. she accepted it, but still sometimes cringes at the name (I'M SORRY, THAT'S THE NAME)

NOW IF IT WERE YOUR PARENTS (basing off my experience as a filipino so sorry if it's not like yours :'>) THEY'D BE TEASING YOU ABOUT HIM ALL THE DAMN TIME

"ano, jowa mo na ba siya? or ano..."

"nako, ikaw ha, mag-aral ka muna bago ka makipagjowa sa morales na yan"

"aalis ka? sino kasama mo? wala ba doon si morales? ay nandoon, edi sasamahan kita nak."

your parents wouldn't really have a problem with miles, they'd think he's a nice kid, they'd just watch your every move with him as long as he's in your house.

also, i think, you would teach him swear words in tagalog :>

you'd troll him to say "putangina mo" (now don't say this non-filipino readers <333) means "have a good morning"

he tried it on your parents

yeah they didn't like him after that, until you cleared it up and got reprimanded for teaching him the wrong stuff TT

either way, miles would love to learn more about your culture as a filipino, he thinks it's super interesting. you made him want to revisit his puerto rican roots and learn some more spanish when he realized some words you taught him (including the swears) were similar to words in tagalog.

you also wanted to learn a lot more about him, his family, and his roots--so you two kind of exchanged cultures to better understand each other <:)

[pllaceh0lderr]

I finally watched the live action Saiki K and it is literally a masterpiece.

Like I don't trust anyone who genuinely hates it bc it's literally perfect???? /nsrs

The production quality is awful. We know this. But the actors gave 110% and basically brought the characters to life. The facial expressions. The voices. Their overall mannerisms were like spot on.

Teruhashi's dramatic zoom in and over the top shocked face whenever Saiki rejected her advances was top tier. Hairo shouting so much his mouth was almost always in a 0 shape was brilliant. Kuboyasu's weird ass 'I'm gonna fucking kill this bitch istg-' face whenever anyone slightly wronged him unlocked hidden memories for me.

And don't even get me started on Kaido. I could write a whole essay on him. His cringefail ways became soooo much worse once a grown man did them in real life, but that just added to his charm. It hurts to watch ANYTHING he does. His obviously fake deep and raspy voice. His dramatic stares off into the distance whenever anyone talks to him. The fact he's always in an anime fight stance no matter what. And bro moves around the room like danger is around the corner ALL👏THE👏TIME!!!!!!!!👏👏👏👏👏 But that's what I love about him!!!! They didn't sugarcoat his cringe, they fed it and worsened it.

But moving back on to production quality, despite how terrible it is, y'all do remember Saiki K is a comedy right? The poorly edited super powers and $2 wigs are honestly so Saikicore. And tbh? This is the same view I have on the English dub for the anime. Like, I think it's bad, but it WORKS.

Also, the ending is WILD. Not gonna spoil it just in case, but the first hour of the movie is just episodes from S1 merged together, then the last half an hour is like entirely made up (unless it's shown in the manga, which I haven't read-) and it caught me so off guard?? Genuinely what the fuck was I watching by that point???? (This is all said in /pos)

Anyways, that's all I have to say for now, my only criticism is that Kuboyasu should've had purple hair (ONE STREAK would've been enough for me)

Here's some screenshots I took (ik it's mostly one scene but it rlly just surprised me)

[wsknbfanaccnt]

GOM and their favorite Filipino food/snacks, words and culture/tradition please 🙏 (I feel like murasakibara will definitely like Filipino snacks especially beng beng)

been kinda lazy writing oneshots so imma do this first as headcanons

this is gonna be fun~

Favorite Filipino Foods and Traditions

ok for snacks, he likes mild tastes like tofu

so maybe he'd like pastillas, otap, stuff like that

and omfg maybe like bibingka?? i feel like he'd like that

OH AND SUMAN OMFG HE'D GO CRAZY FOR THAT

for cultures, hes absolutely (pun intended) in love with the traditional clothing

you can occasionally find him casually wearing a barong and he FUCKING ROCKS THAT SHIT

omfg someone draw akashi in a barong pls

he'd love learning about Filipino history, always visiting areas like Intramuros, Rizal Park, Fort Santiago

he also adores the hospitality and how family oriented our culture is, and would love to participate

when he eventually learns tagalog he would read fucking El Filibusterismo and Noli me Tangere for fun

watches a lot of PBA

i think he'd like candies like Milkita and Haw Haw

mmm maybe polvoron too

AND BUKO PANDAN

yes he loves buko pandan

Kuroko would be so happy when he does mano to elders

first of all it would make him feel noticed

2nd he just finds it so endearing and tries to do it to as many people as possible bcause respect

AND WHENEVER HE GOES THERE HE CANT HELP BUT JOIN THE RANDOM BASKETBALL GAMES IN THE STREET

yk how there's courts everywhere?

yeah he loves joining

and hes actually kinda tall or average height so he's happy playing with people his height LMFAO

makes him feel very included

ykw they all just watch PBA every now and then

tbh im not completely sure what his taste in food is

but one thing i know for sure is that he's fond of turon and puto

(the food ok this is tagalog)

and i can also see him snacking on dried mangoes lol

ooh im sure he'd also love the superstitions that we filipinos have omg

he ALWAYS says tabi tabi po when entering a forest like a good filo boy

and he'd go along with the lucky numbers and dates too

he wont open umbrellas indoors LMFAO omg

and this always works for him for some reason

i think he would like attending filipino festivals

also wearing a matching barong with akashi

he LOOVES fortune telling

and im sure that uh

idk how to say this in english but nakulam sya at least once

or ok so "he was hexed at least once"

okay so i think he would LOOOVE yema and taho and halo halo

he tried balut once but he threw up LMFAO

and kise loves ensaymada WITH CHEESE OKAY WITH CHEESE thats important

loves tinikling and loves participating in it

he loves watching it and he learned it at one point

i think he'd be the type to go all out for christmas (yes, all 5 months of it) and new years

he has like 3 parols that he puts up every year and HE DEFINITELY LOVES CAROLING

hes a pretty boy so he'd always get like 50 to 100 pesos

AND ITS CANON THAT KISE LOVES KARAOKE

sometimes when he comes across some people doing karaoke he'll just join in and everyone loves him

eventually he learns some classic filo karaoke songs that range from Dancing Queen to Bituing Walang Ningning

THIS MAN LOVESSS THE STREETFOOD

bbq, kwek kwek, balut, fish balls, isaw, banana q, chicharon bulaklak, you name it

omfg he can eat those every day

and he doesnt care abt some of the dishes that might seem "weird" he fucking lvoes it all

OMFG SOMEONE TAKE HIM TO A SAMGYUPSAL

doesnt mind eating at a karinderya

i think he'd be the type to explore the hell out of MOA, riding all the amusement parks and eating snacks near the Manila bay

he also loves watching the Pyro Olympics

ofc, as a basketball lover, always joins in the random games everywhere

and i think he'd really appreciate the fact that like

it doesnt matter where or what materials youre using for your hoop, doesnt matter whos playing or anything at all

if you play bball then you play bball

he gets mistaken for being pinoy lol

now this man just loves all the filipino snacks

Piatos, Pillows, Clover, Roller Coaster

and sweets like Yema, taho (he likes it cold tho), cassava cake, stuff like that

he also likes kalamay, biko, palitaw

OH AND HE LOVES UBE OH MY GOD

ube ice cream, ube crinkles, ube everything

he also loves that its the color of his hair lol

he likes joining aomine when looking for streetfood too

i think he likes banana q and fish balls the most when it comes to street food

HIS FAV PALAMIG IS SAGO GULAMAN

the filipinos are terrified of him at first (everyone there is like 5'5 below lol) but they'll soon realize that hes a gentle giant and will love him tbh.

the kids love him, will drag him around and show him off to people

"tingnan mo, ang tangkad!" (look, so tall!)

"grabe, parang aabot sya ng langit!" (its crazy, its like hes gonna reach the sky!)

[1moremilgram-enjoyer]

Trying (and Mostly Kinda Failing) to Give Meaning to Lyric Placement and Background Shapes in "Cat"

(Or: me going insane over things I’m not even sure mean anything)

Hello people of the jury! Today I want to talk about a few things about Kazui’s latest MV, Cat, which have been eating at my brain for a while. Essentially, the way that the transcribed lyrics show up all over the place, out of order, in different colors and languages; the shapes we see throughout the background in different colors; and what both of these things could mean. I emphasize could because it’s all a mess and I’m not entirely confident we’re supposed to read into these things as much as I’m reading into them here. But oh well, if I don’t share this my head is going to explode, so I might as well.

(There’s also a chance a lot of what I say here has been said before. Sorry if it’s redundant)

CW: Suicide and depression, tumultuous relationships, internalized homophobia.

OP what the fuck are you talking about

Let’s start with what I mean by “lyric placement.” As you’re probably aware, the Cat MV has its lyrics transcribed in a very particular way. Sometimes words show up way after the lines are said, sometimes they’re repeated, sometimes they’re in French, sometimes they have extra words thrown in there, etc.

The main thing that tipped me off that something may be up is this line:

As you can see by the subtitles, the line is:

Since when have I ignored my feelings? It’s better to be a let down, than be let down yourself.

However, the MV also has the word “lie” on screen, even though it’s never said in the lyrics. Unless the subtitles are wrong, but I trust that’s not the case.

Now, if I had a nickel for every time a weird-ass MV showing the inner thoughts of a blue haired liar with somewhat homoerotic undertones had English words which appear on screen yet do not correlate to the Japanese lyrics being sung… I’d have two nickels, which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice. (/reference)

And it’s not difficult to figure out why that would be the case. If you recall from his second voice drama, Kazui believes he should have kept lying to Hinako, to keep her happy. This is also stated in his interrogation questions.

(T1) Q18: Do you regret your “murder”?

Kazui: I do regret it. I should have kept lying.

Unless he’s lying, which he has no reason to do, we can tell he would have preferred continuing the lie if it meant Hinako stayed happy. That means, in his eyes, being a let down is worse than being let down himself. That’s why the word “lie” shows up when he says the opposite in the lyrics, he doesn’t actually believe it. It’s assumedly just something he told himself right before “letting down” Hinako by telling the truth.

So, since the MV pulls a cute little trick with this line, is it possible that the placement of the other transcribed lyrics is significant? Well, that’s what the rest of the post will try to answer.

Then there are the colors. As you know, geometric shapes of all kinds of colors appear throughout the MV, and I believe these could mean certain things. Take a look here, for example.

to touch, to caress

That’s the lyric we’re shown as Hinako’s crush towards Kazui is made evident for the first time in the MV. And in the background, we see a blue circle and a pink circle intersecting, and in the video, pulsating like a heartbeat. If we assume blue to be Kazui and pink to be Hinako, it’s showing the idea of the two being together, “touching and caressing.” I noticed this thanks to Napkin's MV analysis, I recommend you watch it if you haven't!

So now, if that really is significant, are the other shapes and colors significant? For one, as blueepink07 pointed out in this post, it’s possible large part of the color scheme was chosen to align with newspapers, because Kazui wants us/Es to uncover his lies as if we’re/they’re getting information from a newspaper, or something like that. For more specific ideas… that’s what the rest of the post is for.

Hypothesis

>The placement of the lyrics sometimes recontextualizes their meaning, and we have to figure out how.

>Lyrics in French, which are always smaller, are used in two ways. Either they simply repeat what the English words say, to give them emphasis, or they replace English words, which usually happens when the line alludes to Kazui’s "temptations", aka his homosexuality. And yeah, I’m assuming he’s gay, because in my eyes it’s honestly more heavily implied than some of the stuff we believe about other prisoners. I’ll give some of my reasoning later.

>The color of the lyrics and the shapes in the background can often be important, though there's a non-zero chance a lot of it is just aesthetics. As a warning, some of the wilder things I bring up not even I fully believe, but I'm going for the completionist route. If you have any better ideas for any of these, please feel free to tell me!

>Blue represents Kazui, pink represents Hinako. As much as gendering colors is stupid in concept, it is useful for symbolism, so.

>Light green represents Kazui’s "temptations", since it’s connected to the green apple which shows up repeatedly.

>Yellow… Okay, so this one is where stuff begins to break down. It’s really hard to tell what yellow could mean, but seeing the meanings the color usually has, I’ll say it represents a sort of desire for happiness. It’s similar to light green, but not quite the same, it’s more general. Yet, it still makes the same dark green color when it mixes with Kazui’s blue as light green does. His happiness and temptations are closely linked. Yes I’m even bringing the intersectional colors into this.

>Red represents Kazui’s deepest desires. It’s the color which floods the background as he bites the pigeon, after all. It’s “stronger”, deeper than light green and yellow, but it’s sorta similar still.

>A darker red appears occasionally on some intersections, possibly representing blood and therefore Hinako's death.

>Purple only exists as the intersection of two colors, but its meaning changes depending on which colors are mixing. When blue and red mix, it’s Kazui’s desires; when pink and blue mix, it’s Hinako’s desire to be with Kazui.

>Orange... shows up like once it's kinda weird. I took to google again, and it usually represents enthusiasm, which is different enough from happiness that I'm comfortable saying that's what it is.

>The reason so many colors have similar meanings is to be able to convey Kazui’s emotions with more nuance. Please bear with me.

>Sometimes, colors mix very little, to the point where I think it’s not meant to be important. I have to add this or else the post is impossible. You’ll see what I mean.

Alright, still with me? Sorry for the prelude, but it was easier to explain it all now before we really get started.

Unhinged Analysis, Start!

(Ah, Tumblr 30 image limit my beloved. Making me do shitty collages in Microsoft Powerpoint just so I can have visuals in my post about the funny apple man)

We open with the song title for obvious reasons, as well as blue backgrounds because it’s Kazui’s MV, a small overview of the colors we’ll see later, and a lyric repeated in both English and French for emphasis.

Lie until it gets better, follow the king of the masquerade

It’s the main thesis of the song, that Kazui, the king of the masquerade, believes it is better to keep lying until things improve than tell the truth and cause harm.

We also see his name and prisoner number, and an interesting introduction to the colors in circles. These are likely purely aesthetic, but if you want an actual explanation... uh.

UNHINGED INTERPRETATION START!

To the left, red and blue intersect and form pink, which doesn't usually happen. Usually, when red and blue intersect you get purple or a deeper red, not pink. I think the colors are partly inverted on this scene, noting the darkened background, so we're meant to take whatever the colors would usually mean, and reverse it. So Kazui and his deepest desires intersect on Hinako? Well, it's actually the opposite. Kazui's deepest desires don't include Hinako. Does that make sense? I say this is the meaning because the lyric there is "Love (plus) Destiny = Crap, smash it, shatter it, bye-bye". Keeping in mind the "destined love" is Hinako, it's clear Kazui doesn't like the relationship, we been knew.

The intersection also exists on the right, but there's also a white circle which inverts the inverted meaning and thus shows the truth. (???) So the part where Kazui is by himself turns into an enthusiastic orange and the intersection with his deepest desires turn into green.

You may have noticed that already makes absolutely no sense. I hope you can forgive me. Remember, I said they're probably just aesthetic here.

UNHINGED INTERPRETATION END!

Anyways, the masquerade lyric and the title show up again but in inverse order for aesthetic reasons, which I think is neat.

I really think this is just an introduction, and there's not much to read into.

The road the car is on is yellow and blue, with them mixing into dark green in the middle (that color does not exist on its own). As everyone does in life, Kazui is trying to stay on the road to happiness. Yes, we start off with quite a stretch, but most of this is going to be reaching, so. The dark green shows that part of that happiness would be something related to his “temptations”, his likely homosexuality.

There’s a pink circle hovering around, Hinako. She also seeks “the road to happiness”, and has her own desires (the red from the intersection of her pink and the yellow). That leads her to getting close to the blue of Kazui. Eventually, she becomes so prevalent in his life that her pink color strikes through the entire frame, showing the two were probably close in some way before the whole marriage thing happened.

I’ve already explained how and why the word “lie” is added into the visuals even though it’s not in the sung lyrics.

Behind “I just wanted” we see a blue and a light green circle intersecting almost fully, cementing light green as the things Kazui truly wants.

The circles behind “to touch, to caress” have already been explained.

“I just wanted to be touched” is accompanied with an interesting visual; a light green and a pink semicircle separated by a yellow triangle. I believe this represents the divide between Hinako and the things Kazui truly wants, the divide being his happiness.

You’ll notice that pink and light green intersect slightly, which is why I said sometimes that doesn’t mean anything. They don’t intersect enough for it to be significant. How much intersection is necessary for us to consider it relevant? Well… whatever fits the scene the best :v

“So” is pink for Whit- wrong fandom sorry

“So, it’s wrong?” With the pink “so”, Hinako stands behind all the regrets Kazui might have about what he’s done.

(My arms hurt from reaching too much-)

This scene is one of many which really makes me doubt the colors actually mean anything most of the time, but I can still try to think of an explanation. A lot of the colors pass by, as if they’re simply events and experiences in Kazui’s life. Temptations, happiness, etc, with nothing intersecting too much. Though worth noting, blue and pink never touch on this scene, as if Kazui doesn’t want to be too close to Hinako, even though she’s an important part of his life.

There is one intersection I think may be interesting, though. Front and center, a blue rectangle is split right through the middle by a red line. Although there’s a lot going on in Kazui’s life, his deepest desires are always right in his core, front and center. That’s part of why red works as these “deepest desires.”

Oh shove that! INNOCENT, isn’t that right?

The lyrics here are just what’s being sung, but it’s interesting that they’re on the floor. It’s almost as if Kazui is looking down on these words, disrespecting them by walking on them. He doesn’t truly think he can shove aside his wrongs, he doesn’t consider himself forgivable. At least, not yet.

(T1) Q19: Do you want to be forgiven?

K: I’m not sure. I also want my weakness to be tolerated, to be honest.

Well, sorry my guy, but I’m still voting you inno, compared to the other people here you did some wrong things but it’s really not that bad.

(I'm skipping scenes that don't have anything relevant)

The blue background is just because this is the turning point of Kazui’s life, when he succumbs to societal pressure to marry Hinako. A bit self-centered to think of your color when proposing to someone else, maybe, but that’s not entirely new for Kazui, huh? Flawed characters, gotta love ‘em.

However, you’ll notice the lyrics never actually make it into text.

Maybe, perhaps… or… could it come true… like It’s for the sake of true love, who wouldn’t lie for that?

These are some of the only lyrics in the song which are never ever transcribed. The others are:

Let’s take a breather

To be caressed by you, that would be perfection - I wanted to be loved, just like a cat

Lick that sin and oppose punishment, until you can meet the king of the masquerade

I cannot for the life of me give you a good answer as to why that happens, but I can give a weird and stupid answer!

Because “Let’s take a breather” is framed as the start of the conversation Kazui and Hinako had which led to her death, it’s possible the lyrics not transcribed are things Kazui said to her in that conversation, and they show up out of order. Not literally, he wouldn’t tell her he wants to be loved like a cat, but more so the meaning behind them. He told her he lied “for the sake of true love”, as he thought “it could come true” if he just stuck with it long enough. He wanted to be loved for who he is (“like a cat”), and, uh… to savor that sin of lying, so she can meet who he truly is? Maybe something like that.

I don’t know. It’s a huge stretch, but I don’t see why else they wouldn’t be transcribed.

Oh, yeah, this clusterfuck.

As far as I can tell, the lyrics here are only the ones from the following chorus, not the previous lines. I can make out, vaguely:

Love (plus) Destiny = Crap, smash it, shatter it, bye-bye That sticky-sweet sequence: Dinner + Camouflage + You-Know-What Loving Affection (minus) Love, it’s tacky, this two-way deceit Victim and Perpetrator, let’s keep it simple

I believe these lyrics are represented like this to show inner turmoil, a chaos inside Kazui’s mind. He despises the love assigned to him by “destiny” (societal expectations), but he goes with the sequence anyways: dinners (dates), camouflage (lies), you-know-what (you know what? I don’t actually know what that means, though I can assume). There’s affection, but it’s not really love. This love is a two way deceit, as Kazui lies to Hinako and himself, telling himself this is what he wants.

“Victim” and “perpetrator” are written only in blue, pink and yellow, representing the union of Kazui and Hinako in search for happiness, but excluding Kazui’s actual desires. (Or maybe it's just the newspaper thing). “Let’s keep it simple” is in both pink and blue because both of them are involved in the “victim-perpetrator” duo.

Notably, “Victim and perpetrator, let’s keep it simple” also shows up in French, again for emphasis. It’s a core part of Kazui’s character that he blames himself fully for what happened.

So this is the big part for all y’all Kazui/Bartender shippers out there. Kazui grabs a green apple out of a bunch of red ones, and it turns into a glass of an alcoholic drink. (The hand disappears from view for a moment, but it's still the same one as Kazui wears his watch and wedding ring on the same hand). And hey, you know how Hinako is represented by a red apple at the end? (Note how it falls and hits the ground, possibly representing Hinako’s suicide). I and others before me think red apples are women, the ones which Kazui is expected to like, while the green one might be a man.

I say that because it turns into a glass, which may represent the bartender, just as the next line plays:

Phew, oh wow I’m drunk Hey, so what if I said I liked-liked you, what would you do?

Note that he says the line, he doesn’t actually sing it, possibly implying it’s an actual thing Kazui said in real life. Now, it’s actually very possible that this isn’t happening at the bar from half itself. As pointed out by errorscribes in this post, the furniture doesn’t actually match either the bar or Kazui’s home, meaning he might be in a secret third thing. Still, however, the connection between the apple and the glass remains, especially since this “one thing turns into another” trick does actually happen a few times in the MV, notably with the wedding ring.

There’s a few more things which make me believe it, but that was just a small tangent to explain why I'm decently convinced Kazui is gay, since I still see quite a bit of discussion around that.

After confessing to possibly the bartender, Kazui explains he wanted to ask “so it’s out in the open.” Note how that’s color-coded blue, possibly implying Kazui is “out in the open”, as in exposed or, perhaps more literally, out of the closet. He seems laidback and relaxed as he says it, but it’s likely a lie, as the background suddenly turns to an ominous black while he retains the same position.

That’s when he says “I just got a little greedy”, with “greedy” repeated for emphasis. The pink is likely because this is something he wants to tell Hinako, as a sort of half-apology-half-excuse.

The lyrics of the next scene, with Kazui and Hinako having a dinner and all that, are transcribed right after, in what may be both the most interesting and the hardest-to-explain scene for this theory.

So, here's what I think we're looking at here. It's a chronological retelling of everything that happened after Kazui and Hinako got married, that's why the numbers are there. That's why the song's title, Cat, and Kazui's name are constantly on screen; it's the main story of the song.

We start with a glass falling, the calm before the storm, the moments before the disaster. In French and red, we see the lyrics from the scene prior:

All those things I wanna do that I can’t say out loud I gotta keep it inside and act The beating of this heart… see… it’s no longer about good and bad… it isn’t I realize the futility, but I still can’t help but dream

Kazui is repressing his feelings for now, those things he can't say out loud. The desire to express his feelings slowly stops being about good and bad, moral and immoral, it's a primal need, like a cat's need to hunt doves. See the connection to red?

"I realize the futility, but I still can't help but dream" is repeated in English for emphasis. Even though he knows it will be useless, he can't help himself, he wants to act on his true feelings. In particular, I believe the "dream" is to be loved by whoever the hell he confessed to (possibly the bartender), and this is what caused Hinako to commit suicide, seeing the distorted line in his Voice Character Reveal.

I'm so d[um]b... Wh[y] d[i]d I [h]a[v]e to [dr]e[a]m?

Note that "01" is written in both Kazui's blue and the yellow of happiness, showing that this scene is about him looking for happiness (deep analysis there, folks). Note the arrows, too. Hinako's pink arrow is literally between Kazui's blue and his happiness (yellow).

And that was when his feelings were repressed; because then, the glass hits the ground, showing that number 02 is when things went wrong. The lyric in English is "Phew, oh wow I'm drunk", as it's something Kazui isn't afraid of admitting. But in French, smaller, we see something he may want to say a bit quieter: "Phew, oh wow I'm drunk. Hey, so what if I said I liked-liked you, what would you do?"

(By the way, I'm not using direct translations, but rather what the corresponding lyric is in English. Probably should have mentioned that earlier)

We reiterate he’s drunk, potentially to further imply a connection to the bartender, and we have Kazui’s confession. Notice the colors used are yellow and red, possibly because we’re seeing the confession of Kazui’s deepest desires as he attempts to be happy. Well, technically you might say a few things are pink, but since the saxophone is red, I’m assuming that’s the main color we’re supposed to take note of. Instead, the pink is almost an afterthought, as if Kazui is only thinking of Hinako sparsely in brief moments of lucidity from his drunkenness.

03 is the weirdest in terms of colors. The lyric displayed is “Love (plus) Destiny = Crap. Smash it, shatter it, bye-bye.” I believe this is referring to the aftermath of the confession in 02, where the “destined love” of Kazui and Hinako starts to break down.

Why is there orange, then, if the relationship is breaking down? Well, because Kazui doesn't like the relationship. He's originally enthusiastic about revealing the truth and shattering the relationship (orange), because he thinks it will bring him happiness (yellow). Well, enthusiastic is maybe an exaggeration, but it's close to it at least. I'll explain what makes me believe that in a moment, bear with me. However, that's not how that would play out.

To see that it didn't go as Kazui had hoped, we have to look at the blue bars and the orange circles. It took me way too long to notice, but I think the blue bars are for the piano that plays in the scene, like the saxophone that showed up in 02. By that logic, the other thing could be some… kinda flute? I don’t think so. I have no idea what that is.

In any case, although it's a bit of a stretch, something interesting happens with these bars and circles. It’s hard to describe without the video, but if you look at them (preferably at 0.5 speed or something) you’ll see that when 03 first shows up, the bars and circles appear in a neat pattern, but as the lyric “solidifies”, the bars and circles begin “sputtering”, the pattern breaking down.

Neat pattern, few lyrics.

Broken pattern, full lyrics.

So, I think that's meant to represent Kazui hesitating about the destruction of his relationship. He starts enthusiastic, with the pattern stable. But as the idea that the relationship will come to an end starts to solidify, represented by the lyric slowly forming more and more, he starts to realize there might be some drawbacks he hadn't anticipated, which is why he starts to hesitate, and the pattern breaks down. The pattern doesn't have a concrete meaning, it's meant to give the vibe that Kazui is hesitating, which I swear makes sense if you look at it in the video please I swear I'm not that insane yet please-

The reason for Kazui's hesitation becomes evident in number 04. Do you see those white ovals around this number? Don’t they look a lot like clouds?

I believe this is the balcony scene, when Kazui tells Hinako the truth, and she commits suicide. That’s why her pink is front and center, while Kazui’s temptations lure in the background in light green. They’re the context, the set dressing, for Hinako’s part of the play, if you allow me some half-adjacent metaphors. The colors mix into a dark red which almost looks like blood. I don’t think I need to explain how the death scene is connected to blood.

And with this scene in mind, where Hinako dies after learning the truth, Kazui reaches the conclusion represented by the lyric on screen. “Lie, until it gets better, follow the king of the masquerade.” Repeated in French for emphasis,. After Hinako dies, Kazui starts to believe he should have simply kept lying as he was doing before, when he still was “the king of the masquerade.”

Does any of that make any sense? I am grasping at straws and trying my damn hardest to reconcile all these things, but most of them are nonsensical. I have to remind everyone, I’m still not entirely sure I’m not just looking at nothing here.

The lyric that plays as Kazui falls to his knees is "I can’t stop, I can’t be normal. This feeling, it can’t be gratified", which is transcribed in the next shot.

Before we get to the shapes, we have to talk about the added lyric, which I find very interesting. The word "can't", big in the background and in pink. Possibly because Hinako can't gratify "this feeling." However, there's a funny thing about the word "can't"; it's a homophone of Kant, the philosopher Kazui and Es discuss in the second Voice Drama. I think this might be intentional.

As the characters discussed, Kant believed that lying is always inherently inmoral, even if the liar has good intentions (oversimplification, don't come at me philosophy majors). However, I want to talk about it a bit more in depth. Although I am dumb and I am not very good at philosophy, what I could gather is that Kant believes lying is unethical because it impairs the ability of others to make rational, informed decisions. He argued that because our freedom ends where others' begin, then we cannot lie, for that would impair the other's freedom. Regardless of what you think about this belief system, it's clear some connections can be made with Kazui. Under this logic, his lies impaired Hinako's freedom, as presumably, she wouldn't have married Kazui if she had had all the information from the start.

(Again, I am likely oversimplifying things, but I am not gonna write a thesis on Kant to try and figure out the funny liar Cat-boy)

Why am I bringing all this up? Am I just trying to trick you into thinking I have any idea what I'm doing? Correct! Seems Cat taught you well to avoid misdirection.

But in all seriousness, it's because that logic is the best (read: not actually that good but it's what I have) way I have of interpreting the shapes on the background. There's yellow triangles crossed by blue and then pink, but notably, they intersect little and seem to go in different directions. As if the path Kazui and Hinako are in are different from the one which leads to happiness. The idea here is that while Kazui obviously isn't happy with how things are going, Hinako couldn't be truthfully happy under Kant's ideas. Because she wouldn't have true freedom of thought until Kazui stopped lying to her, so in a way, her own happiness was also a lie. Thus why the lines representing her always go in a different way from happiness. And because she can't be happy, the yellow of her fake happiness turns into dark red as it crosses that word, again possibly referencing her death.

Is it a stretch? Oh, absolutely! I don't even know if I'm interpreting Kant right! But I frankly have no idea what else these things could mean. It's possible some of the shapes are merely aesthetic, and this is one of the scenes which make me believe that. I'm open to audience participation, you figure it out.

More imagery of a scattered and broken relationship, with blue and pink shapes all around Kazui, but which only barely intersect. The small French words are part of the lyrics, "this feeling, it's yearning to be satisfied." As I said, sometimes French words are some of Kazui's more hidden thoughts. This brings up an interesting dichotomy of "this feeling can't be gratified" being expressed in English and bigger font, while "this feeling, it's yearning to be satisfied" is in French and smaller. It's possible Kazui finds it easier to admit that his feelings can't be satisfied, rather than admitting he wants them to be satisfied. Interesting insight if true, it would mean Kazui has an easier time accepting hopelessness regarding his feelings than actually admitting to the feelings themselves. It sounds a bit weird in text, but I think it sorta makes sense in an "internal conflict" kinda way.

Let's take a breather

Thank you Kazui, I really needed a breather after all those stretches I made. Anyways, as part of this MV imposed intermission, I want to explain what I meant when I said Kazui was "enthusiastic" to break off the relationship.

Kazui takes off the wedding ring and turns into a cigarette, as Hinako watches in horror. The symbolism here is important; what Kazui is doing is pulling back the curtain, he's revealing how he actually feels about the relationship. It's like a cigarette, something he engages in for some form of momentary relief, relief from societal expectations, but still something ultimately harmful for him. This truth is why Hinako looks so horrified.

And we see exactly what Kazui is trying to do with this relationship when he puts the cigarette to his hand. He's trying to put it out, and in his mind, this is an abrupt and almost violent act, as that's the impression we get from how fast this frame flashes on screen. It's also worth noting, the act of putting out a cigarette like this would also hurt, showing that Kazui is also harmed by this action.

With the understanding that Kazui is actively trying to end the relationship, also shown by him biting the dove later, his expression tells us a bit of how he feels about it. And it's all smiles and smirks up until Hinako falls.

Now, to clarify, I think Kazui is presenting himself as far more aggressive and enthusiastic than he actually was at the time. I really doubt he actually smiled when he broke the news to Hinako. But I also believe it isn't a complete lie, there was some enthusiasm on his part to maybe try to live the life he genuinely wanted. And that's why 03 has the color orange.

I'll repeat it because this really isn't something I want to be misinterpreted on. While Kazui was somewhat enthusiastic to break off a relationship which was clearly making him unhappy, the video is very much exaggerating how much enthusiasm he actually had. At least, that's how I see it.

As stated, the lyrics cut back and forth very quickly to give the scene an aggressive edge, as if Kazui revealing his feelings is somehow a visceral act of violence. Accompanying the words are the definitions in French, because why the hell not. And yes, some parts aren't transcribed. Don't ask.

Like I said, red floods the background, as Kazui’s deepest feelings become all encompassing for the scene. They’re what caused Hinako to commit suicide, after all.

As I mentioned, “to be caressed by you, that would be perfection. I wanted to be loved just like a cat” aren’t transcribed, but:

Maybe act capricious, at my word and at my fancy

Are the words which make up a silhouette of Hinako as she’s about to jump. If you’re unaware, “capricious” essentially means unpredictable, acting on impulses. So, like a cat. I believe the pictogram here is meant to represent how Kazui’s “capricious” actions led to Hinako’s suicide, and it doesn’t have to be more complicated than that.

… Well, there’s also a way to read this where Hinako is the one acting capriciously, killing herself purely on impulse. You know, it’s been pointed out before that Hinako’s hair was already fluttering when Kazui bites the dove, implying she was already falling when Kazui revealed his feelings and destroyed the marriage. If you want, you could read this as saying that Kazui is subconsciously aware that his truth wouldn’t be enough to push the average person to suicide, so Hinako was “already falling” in the sense she had some pre-existing issues which contributed to her decision. For example, if she was already suffering from depression. And thus, in a sense, she also acted unpredictably, capriciously, when she jumped.

I think this is a possibility, and it would make Kazui’s inner world more nuanced than it already is. He’s a smart man, so even if he can’t quite get himself to believe it, it’s possible he logically understands suicide isn’t something which people usually do for only one issue. I’m not sure if he would call her capricious, though, feels a bit mean in my eyes.

Anyways, while I wanted to acknowledge that possibility, I still think the first thing I said is the most straightforward interpretation.

Finally, my torture the video ends with the ever prevalent “Lie until it gets better, follow the king of the masquerade,” this time with yellow, blue and pink. For aesthetics mostly, I imagine, but it is interesting that once the apple splats, presumably representing when Hinako hits the floor, the color pink disappears, so “follow the king of the masquerade” only gets blue and yellow.

Another interesting thing is that the word “Lie” accompanies Hinako as she falls backwards, and it almost looks like a mountain of lies is pushing her back, as in, pushing her to suicide. “Until it gets better” and “follow the king of the masquerade” also have fun visual things, but I do think those are purely aesthetic.

Red consumes the background as we see Kazui covered in blood, the result of his deepest feelings in his eyes.

Finally, the last line, “lick that sin and oppose punishment, until you can meet the king of the masquerade”, isn’t transcribed anywhere. I’ve always found that line interesting, though. What does “licking the sin” imply? Is he speaking to us when he tells us/Es to ��oppose punishment”? And have we not met the king of the masquerade yet? Presumably there’s a good bit of background we’re still missing on Kazui, but how far does it go? Is he trying to manipulate us/Es into an innocent vote?

… I swear, this fucker better not have a complete heel turn on trial three. I’m choosing to trust him… for now, but I might have to look into it further.

Still innoing him now though.

Conclusion

So what did we learn? Not really all that much, most of this is somewhat nonsensical, and almost everything else could be gleaned from the lyrics themselves. I just wanted to share my pain, even if I have my doubts about a lot of this. There were a few interesting things to note, I guess. I don’t know what else to add, frankly.

Anyways, inno Kazui. And while you’re at it, inno Amane too.

If you made it this far, then I think you deserve the color yellow! Take care!

[dteamain]

this whole quackity situation is so weird to me like I can't wrap my head around it

here is what i think happened realistically

i think quackity has been super secretive as normal about his project so nobody knew what was happening with it. i think realistically he had an idea to have a translator to help communication maybe it was planned the whole time maybe he did it once he realized there wasn't a lot of english/spanish crossover happening on the server. i do not think quackity ever intended the server to be multilingual. i think coincidentally dream got his announcement out first and quackity instead of being an adult about it threw a bitch fit that dream has a similar idea. he couldn't stop and calm down enough to realize while they are using the same tool to achieve a common goal the two servers are still very different. so he decided to be a bitch about it. i think he was very purposeful with his language in his announcement video and i think he might have possibly thought it could make dream look bad. i think quackity announcing his mod as 'the FIRST multilingual smp with live translation' was a very intentional jab at dream. this back fired though because he was so fucking secretive and no one fucking saw this coming even without dreams announcements they would have been surprised. i think it also backfired because of the fact the translator seems so useless to his server because only two english streamers are consistently on the server and lots of the spanish speakers stick to themselves which renders the translator useless for the majority of the creators. so instead of being a quick jab at dream it made quackity look like a pos trying to one up dream or beat him to the finish line. i also think because once again quackity is such a gatekeeper that dream and all his friends were blindsided by quackitys announcement which is why we got the bitchy tweets and slutsmp and what not bc they all just couldn't believe quackity would do something like this instead of just talking with dream. and now quackity has backed himself into a corner where he either stays quiet and looks like a piece of shit or comes forward and admits he was being a piece of shit. i also think he put everyone on his smp in a shitty ass place and i hope he at least feels a little guilt for that

we could have had two very different and amazing servers that are breaking language barriers and expanding the minecraft community supporting eachother but instead we have quackity slowly isolating himself and making his passion project the most awkward and uncomfortable thing in the world while dream is still supporting and uplifting the work and carving out a space for them to both coexist

[nickosaymon]

WARNING: ⚠️⚠️⚠️

This "fanfic" addresses sensitive topics, such as death, infection with a lethal virus, bad language, cannibalism and violence.

If you are sensitive to these topics, please do not read. Or at least read it with a plush toy by your side!

For the rest of the remaining people, have a good read!

If there are any spelling mistakes let me know, English is not my native language.

DAY 10 - “Today my sister went to the market, she was just hoping to buy some fruits like apples, but when she got there, she was almost attacked by a pony. She managed to defend herself, but it was still dangerous. Princess Twilight Sparkle asked us to quarantine, all the ponies are scared, sometimes we hear noises at the doors, but we don't open them, it could be one of them... Anyway, the letters don't go anywhere, many ponies have gotten sick, so no one risks going out. I keep thinking about my special po-”

FUCK! MY SPECIAL PONY! What the fuck am I doing standing here? I.. I need to find him! This is dangerous... But sick ponies can't fly...

I look at my wings, this will be a quick flight, I'm just going to see him and then come back! No one will notice I even leave..

Opening the bedroom windows, he also opens his wings and with a little preparation, flies out the window. Flying over all of Ponyville, the houses had their doors and windows closed, there were some ponies coming out, but there were others that were completely strange.

“Ah, this perfectly recalls what Princess Twilight said, these strange ponies are so clumsy and slow...”

The little pegasus watched those ponies as he flew low, quickly arriving at his beloved's house, but the low flight had its bad points... the smell is strong, it smells like rot.

“OH NO NO NO NO! WHERE ARE YOU LOVE?”

Looking everywhere, putting your ear to the window and listening to the ponies inside. Where is he.. maybe infected? The little pegasus flew away, this time back to his home.

“He’s probably not infected! He is smart, handsome and agile!”

As he questioned in his head, his wings ended up beating faster and faster, but lower, and lower, until he crashed into a pony.

“OH OH OH, SORRY” He looked around but didn't see any pony.

“Hey! I'm right here!” The pony, comically, was underneath him.

They stood up and when they looked at each other.

“SASA! What are you doing here! It's dangerous!" The unicorn said this bitterly, but with a tone of concern.

“By Celestia, be gentle I was looking for you! Since the letters don't arrive..”

Both ponies were worried about each other, but the place and time did not allow for conversation.

“Sasa there's a... Behind you..”

The pegasus flapped its wings and started to fly low, it turned around and looked at that thing, it didn't look like a pony.

That thing made some strange noises, it has the structure of a pony, but it doesn't look like one, it's almost an empty shell of what once was a pony... I wonder how he is still alive and slowly walking towards us.

“SASA GET OUT” A ray of magic is thrown at that infected pony, which scares the pegasus and almost fails to fly.

“We need to get out of here, I think your achievement attracted attention..” They both look at a bunch of infected people walking close to them.

“So they are attracted to sounds... some don't even have ears”

“Don’t just stand there!”

The unicorn murmurs, but then runs away close to some houses, while the pegasus flies right above him. No pony would answer them, everyone is too scared to be kind, so what was left for the two was to hide between the alleys.

“So, I don't want to ruin our escape, but there are already other weird ponies in this alley..."

“FUCK! We’ll have to do this another way!”

The unicorn quickly stopped running and turned towards those ponies, using its horn to make magical rays and hit them. Which was easy, since the infected were very slow, sometimes one or the other was faster, but it still wasn't difficult.

The pegasus to help, ripped a splinter of wood from the roof of one of the houses and threw it at the other infected people who were already in the alley.

“YUCK! HOW DISGUSTING THEY ARE FULL OF WORMS” He kept hitting those things with the wood until it broke.

“We are stuck! Couldn’t we run away?”

“Escape how?? Run where??” The magical rays began to diminish, just as the unicorn's horn began to hurt.

"The roof!" Quickly the pegasus held the unicorn and flapped its wings as hard as possible, but he wouldn't be able to do it alone. “USE YOUR HORN, OR WE WILL DIE!” The unicorn quickly forced its horn to levitate itself, with a lot of effort, both managed to climb onto a roof.

“There's no point staying here. They’re going to try to get up here.” Soon he looks at the pegasus who rips a splinter of wood from the roof and throws it down below. “That'll probably keep them there..”

The two ponies were tired, definitely neither of them imagined that this could happen, maybe the unicorn, Arthur, imagined this, but the pegasus didn't. The two of them just decided to stay on the roof, and maybe jump from roof to roof.

With every minute that passed, they both became more anxious, it's not like they were taking any risks, but they just wanted to be safe at home soon. It wasn't close to night, but it was as if a dense fog was under the sky. A possible side effect of the fact that pegasus stopped clearing the sky over time. Some of them simply refused and others were just scared.

For a while Rainbow Dash was cleaning the sky on her own, but she and her friends were summoned by Celestia to go to Canterlot. Nopony knows what they are doing, some simply assume they have all escaped to somewhere where this infection doesn't exist.

The pegasus, now a little rested, flaps its wings and flies up to the sky, close to the clouds and takes some out of the sky. Then he goes back to the roof where he was with his special pony.

“Now we can know when it’s getting late!” The little pegasus places his wing behind his beloved, and looks at him smiling. “How long are we going to stay here?” The unicorn looks at his beloved, half torn between concern for his love and concern for his family.

“I just hope we stay safe.”

.

In a place not far away, six brave ponies and two princesses were planning something. They set up armies and strategies, at the same time as they prepared their best doctors. The ponies didn't know it yet, or at least most didn't, but what was coming was terrible. No one would know how this terrible virus started, but there was speculation.

“ A curious unicorn stole a book from the forbidden part of the Canterlot library, in the book there was an unfinished spell, which promised to keep pests away from fruits. But at a terrible price.. ”

“ Wow.. do you think this story could be right Celestia? ”

“ We hope so, this is our only chance Twilight ”

END

of the first chapter

[gladiolidiaries]

I went down the rabbit hole of your asks about Q and K and dtkq in general and I have thoughts: DTKQ was never real

I have been around in the dream fandom since end 2019 so pre literally all of these friendships (except dteam of course) and from the word go I always got the impression quackity didn’t like Dream not even neutral but just didn’t like him they did one stream together and never again I don’t think he favors Sapnap in anyway either he talks about Sapnap like he’s a fucking caveman and only tolerated them bc of George and some weird fan created fiancés lore that he like kinda keeps to but like doesn’t fuck w outside of the lore streams and even then he said before that dteam+k are “work friends” to him not on the same level as his irl friends. When Q was still activly hanging with people like mizkif after everything he’s said about Dream and I’m pretty sure to this day he still follows kace***on. so that solidified to me that dream and q aren’t and have never been friends bc why would you continue to follow someone actively harassing and doxing someone you claim is a friend Dream has never like off handedly talked about quackity either like I can’t think of a time Dream on his own told a funny story about being with or talking to quackity. And I think Karl god Karl is so sad to me bc I don’t mind him but he like so desperately wants his own trio like the dream team and wants his own duo like dnf so bad it’s so painfully pitiful to watch he’s like “creating” these groups and then he abandons them once he milks them dry or once they never pick up the way dnf and dteam do his closest thing to it was Karlnap but I really think Sapnap has pulled away from that recently he used to play into it a lot but he’s kinda pulled away and idk why they keep trying to resuscitate banter I need it to die like in theory it’s fun and could work but they never do it they give up after 4 episodes the 3 of them don’t have good chemistry together Sapnap and George can bounce off each other but then Karl has to be the center so Sapnap doesn’t bother half the time and George is trying to carry the weight but even he’s not into it the most popular and lively episode of banter had Dream and Dream hard carried that ep 💀 all in all I don’t think dtkq was ever real I don’t think q liked anyone but George and Karl and George doesn’t like not including his best friends Dream and Sapnap and Karl saw it as some like possible group and he himself even said that the only reason why dtkq content ever happened was bc he would force everyone to do something together and 1/2 the time Dream would just leave 1/3 of the way into any stream and most of the time Dream is q and ks punching bag anyway that pisses me off when they did content together and Dream just gets shit on. I think it sucks bc it looks like q and k were really into dtkq for content reasons and dteam wanted friends but I doubt we will see any content from 5/5 ever again (not that much existed to begin with) because quackity has isolated himself with his Spanish audience and even English and he’s all solo q Stan’s who hate everyone else and I think a lot of dteam Stan’s have not changed opinions as far as pos or neg but I think a lot have lost interest or don’t care much for Q and I see it starting w K as well they are gravitating toward sylvee and Hannah and back to Tommy now funnily enough but yeah people wrongfully assumed that 5/5 were close when I don’t think they are the fact that they were in LA for 2 weeks and quackity was there for most of that time and there wasn’t a peep of a meet up lmaoooo and like George spent most of the time doing nothing he had free time and didn’t go see him yeah yeah yeah tells me all I need to know sorry this is long I’ve kept this for far too long 💀

Hey thanks for the long input I love reading opinions from fans who've been here since the beginning 🙏

[bitterunicornwisdom]

When I was taught Japanese, I was taught a lot of weird things about the word "no" that were very culturally different than in my culture (dirty low-context culture American).

They'd say, "No is too forceful. Instead of saying いいえ (no) say それはちょっと。。。 (that's a little.../that's... well...). The listener will understand that you're politely indicating a No and will drop the subject and possibly apologize for making the request, since it was their fault for not reading the signs that you may not be interested in what they're offering."

One of my female Japanese friends would tell me that during sex when the woman says No, that "いいえってはい" AKA "no means yes". Which is fucked up to Americans, but for Japanese women, wanting or liking sex is considered unbecoming and slutty. So they say "イヤ!" or "ヤ!" or "ヤダ!" or "ダメ!" (informal no, no, don't wanna, and it's wrong) during sex as a way of saving face. OBVIOUSLY this isn't great, it perpetuates rape culture in Japan, but it's something I HAD to get over when I would get with with Japanese women while I lived there. I'm a lesbian! We were having lesbian sex, and they would still say it.

The Japanese language and culture has rules for stuff like this that they teach from a very young age directly and indirectly. I was a teacher in Japan for five years, I would see kids get in big trouble for not reading the room and not following all these rules. I would get in trouble on occasion for not reading the room, even though I didn't speak Japanese fluently and I had no idea what was going on.

Example: I got stuck in an after-hours all teachers meeting. After an hour and a half (mind you, it was like 7:30PM and my contract only required me to be there till 4:30PM), I quietly excused myself. I bowed my head, bowed apologetically to everyone I pass in silence, hunched over in shame, silently opened the door and closed it while bowing profusely. APPARENTLY, one of our students had DIED OF CANCER and I had left while the teachers were discussing how to approach the rest of the students with the news and how to honor boy and his family at graduation. Some of the teachers complained about how disrespectful I was. More teachers thought it was reasonable that I left, but there was still grumbling from the more traditional teachers.

So I imagine Toshiro growing up, the oldest son of a warlord, having to follow all these rules, bending over backwards his entire life trying not to bother anyone. And in bounds Laios, not a single fuck given about any of that, completely steamrolling Toshiro constantly. Watching their fight gave me flashbacks to all the times I had to consciously avoid "ruining the harmony" in Japan when I really wanted to say or do something. I felt like I couldn't be authentic and honest and up-front.

Example: Standing in the back of the classroom, looking out the window at the butterflies in the goya flowers, trying to ignore the POS newbie teacher yelling at his homeroom 10% because they were goofing off a little, but 90% because he hadn't had a cigarette break in 4 hours. I couldn't say anything, I couldn't bring attention to myself, I couldn't leave, I just needed to pretend to not exist. Otherwise I'd undermine his authority. I wanted to ring that teacher's skinny little neck and tell him to leave the poor 14 year olds alone. They were having fun during English class!! That's a good thing!!

Another Eample: Seeing a salaryman on the train hit his subordinate multiple times for fucking something up earlier in front of a client. The train wasn't empty, everyone just looked at their phones and ignored the commotion. My friends and I whispered to one another in English if we should help the guy, or if that would make it worse. I wanted to tell the guy to fuck off and leave the man alone.

When I came back to America after living in Japan for 5 years, it took me a while to stop trying to read the room to gauge how to talk and act. Americans don't want you to act like that to the degree that Japanese people want you to, it's more of a pain in the ass to them because you should just be able to tell people what you want or need. Making yourself as small as possible just to avoid possibly rocking the boat isn't an ideal trait here.

Toshiro and Laios' fight really hit me with both context systems I had to navigate while living in Japan. Navigating the differences between their communication styles doesn't have a right or wrong side. I was actually impressed that someone like Toshiro was able to be honest, and was glad Laios' finally learned what Toshiro really thought of him (even if it initially hurt his feelings). At least they're on the same page now.

Anyways, uhhhh, yeah. The mangaka is Japanese. The fact that she's aware of both sides is great, and I love seeing a popular manga/anime outright address it from both sides.

My stance on Shuro discourse

[1337wtfomgbbq]

Okay fuck it. Sit up in bed junky we explaining this shit to @f1yogurt . (Yes, I actually wrote a lot of this yesterday at night, cause I have no self control)

Way back in the early 2000s there were those YA and kids novels, 'Die wilden Hühner' (the wild chickens) and 'Die Wilden Kerle' (the wild soccer bunch... there is an english translation)

Die Wilden Hühner:

- A clique of five girls who go about their day to day life (Sprotte, Frieda, Trude, Melanie and Wilma)

- They have a rivalring gang of four boys, the 'pygmies' (Fred, Willie, Torte and Steve)

- The girl gang's whole deal is that they love chicken (and I mean as pets, not to eat. They take an oath where they actually swear off from eating chicken)

- One book is about the boys trying to break into the house of Sprotte's grammys, to steal her treasure (that grammy is actually quite the cunt)

- Another one is about the girls saving that aforementioned grandmothers chickens, as the grandmother wants to slaughter them (the chickens)

- It deals with a lot of adulting, and problems kids could be dealing with, like: parental abandonement (as Sprotte's dad walked out on her and her mom), having only one parent (like Sprotte), divorce of parents (for Trude), physical abuse through the parent (for Willie), loss of job for a parent and the consequences of that for the family (for Melanie) teenager relationships in general.

- It even deals with homosexuality, as in the last book Wilma figures out she only likes girls. The girls have to deal with coming to terms with that, there is a big falling out between Wilma and Melanie. The author, Cornelia Funke, has a really great way of dealing with this issue. A very dignified and understanding way.

- There were five books, that they made into three movies (though we mostly ignore the third one, as it destroyed a lot of our beloved characters #notmyfred)

Die wilden Kerle (the wild soccer bunch):

- A clique of boys who only eat, sleep and prey soccer

- There was a book series (but I never read those) and 6 movies (though the newest is more of a remake)

- Yes, all those books and movies are basically about playing soccer and having adventures

- In the first movie they have to play against the 'dicke michie' (fat michie) to get their soccer field back

- They are joined by a girl in the first one, Vanessa. ('holy shit' I know. But at that age that was really 'holy shit')

- In the second one they wanna play against the german national team, and Vanessa leaves for a period to be with that skater boy 'Gonzo Gonzales' (who was a discount Cpt. Jack Sparrow. And all of our girls hearts were broken, cause we wanted her to be with Leon. Motherfucker, even Vanessa's actress didn't want for Vanessa to be with Gonzo. #teamleon)

(Look at him. Apparently they actually showed the actor pirates of the carribean and told him to copy Jack)

- Third one is about an old member of the bunch and his all girls team challenging the boys.

- Forth one had some weird soccer match at 'Ragnarök' with some wolf themed team and 'Silberlichten'... I never understood that one.

- And the fifth one had vampires bro.

- They had those cool curses, „Kackeverdammte“, „Hottentotten Albtraumnacht“, „Shitte nochmal“, „Kaninchen Wattebausch Bommelschwanz Po“, „Schwabbelbauch“.

- There are concepts in the movies, especially later on, that make you think, 'is this shit supernatural'.

- Gonzo in the second one for example is working with and worshipping this witch, 'Staraja riba'.

- The 'Silberlichten' in the fourth one are... I have no fucking clue what they are.

- THERE ARE FUCKING VAMPIRES IN THE FIFTH ONE MAN! (they were completely riding the twilight wave back then)

Anyways, back then you were either a 'Wildes Huhn' or a 'Wilder Kerl'.

We actually had cliques like them. We wore necklaces with chicken feathers like 'Die Wilden Hühner'. I don't know if boys had one ear ring like the pygmies. 'Die Wilden Kerle' had so much merchandise.

It was just a huge thing, and quite literally influenced a whole generation of us.

[darkthingshappen]

Poster Child: Chapter 2

So, as some of you know, I held a poll for which of my stories would get a continuation. Far exceeding every other story, was the story about Connor and his Pet Lib parents. So, without further adieu, I'd like to introduce you all to Connor's family as they try to find their missing son. This will be a multi-chapter story, most of it from Connor's perspective.

Also, @ashintheairlikesnow is the creator of Karen Renford, who appears with her permission.

This story will contain noncon, but it will be clearly marked when it happens.

TW for this chapter: HEAVY use of ethnic slurs - Connor's handler is a racist bastard. Also, there is HEAVY and frank threats of future noncon.

General warnings for BBU and WRU - Institutionalized Slavery.

As always, I'd like to thank my amazing beta, @whumpcereal for always doing an amazing job and pushing for more detail and depth of my characters.

Tags List: @oddsconvert @sparrowsage @castielamigos-whump-side-blog

Connor Lightfoot could be a little shit.  He hoped his handler was figuring that out.  It had been two weeks since he’d first woken up in the horrible white room, though he didn’t actually know that. He just knew it had been a while. Long enough that his handlers were not impressed with him. He’d refused to cooperate.  It was another thing his parents had drilled into his head.  Don’t obey.  Don’t sign anything.  Don’t give in.  Don’t give up – keep fighting. 

And he had, but God, he was so tired and hungry and sore.  Everything fucking hurt.  He had no way of knowing how much weight he’d lost, but he could tell it was quite a bit.  His arms were thin, the muscled definition all but gone.  He’d been given water through a forced feeding tube.  It wasn’t that he would have refused the water, they just wanted to hurt him. 

He’d been force fed food as well, but only a handful of times.  Enough to keep him alive and that was it. 

It was getting harder though.  Connor was tired of being shocked, tired of everything about this place.  And fuck! He was tired of looking at nothing but white.  Damn it! 

He’d started to wonder what might happen if he cooperated and just pretended that he was broken?  Could he do that?  Connor knew the system was meant to be manipulative.  And one of the first things they would try to make him do would be to sign his life away.  He would not do that.  So, cooperating was out of the question. 

He wondered, though: since it was illegal for WRU to take or accept an application from a Native American, would his signature be legally binding?  Connor didn’t think so, but fuck if anyone around here cared. 

He thought back to one of those first few days.  They’d cut his fucking hair.  He’d cried, but it had been tears of fury.  Anger so bone-crushingly deep he didn’t know what to do other than cry hot, livid tears.  He’d raged and screamed and thrashed.  Now, instead of his long straight black hair, it was cropped short – just long enough to grab onto and drag him around, which they seemed to love doing. 

His long hair had been such a part of his proud Navajo identity.  He wore it well and loved the way he looked.  He loved the way it made him so visibly Native American.   There was no denying who he was, and he loved that.  Even if his last name was Lightfoot, which wasn’t actually Native American.  It was an English or some other European name, one that had filtered into his family through some weird adoption way back in the 1800’s on his dad’s side.  But it was his name.  His family.  And it made him no less Navajo.  Connor was proud of his family history.  

And now the fucking WRU were trying to steal it from him bit by bit.  If nothing changed, they would succeed.  But Connor was determined to not be a part of their success in turning him into one of their box boys.  He would not cooperate in becoming someone’s custom order, someone’s little Indian pet to be shown off at parties.  

Connor tried to flex his muscles from where he knelt on the floor.  If he changed positions, then they would shock him.  Most days when he was just done with their shit, he keeled over and let them shock him unconscious.  It sucked, but at least he got to sleep, and he decided when he was done being tortured. 

The door opened and his handler walked in.  

“Hey there, 787266.”

My name is Connor Lightfoot.  I grew up in Shiprock, New Mexico.  I am a member of the Navajo Nation.  My parents are Daniel and Kai Lightfoot. I am twenty years old.  I attend New Mexico State University.  Connor repeated this mantra every time they called him by his number.  I am not a number.  I am a person, not a pet.  I am a hostage, not a slave.  I am not a box boy.  I will not sign. 

When he did not acknowledge his handler, his collar jolted to life and he screamed into his muzzle.  God, he fucking hated it here. 

“I said, hey there, 787266.”

My name is Connor Lightfoot.  I grew up in Shiprock, New Mexico.  I am a member of the Navajo Nation.  My parents are Daniel and Kai Lightfoot.  I am twenty years old.  I attend New Mexico State University.  I am not a number.  I am a person, not a pet.  I am a hostage, not a slave.  I am not a box boy.  I will not sign…  No fuck off you stupid bastard.

Connor rocked back and forth where he lay on the floor. 

“This is exactly why you’re being transferred, 787266.”

That got his attention. He stopped rocking and looked up at his handler, eyebrows knit together with a question he couldn’t ask.

“So, you do understand us.”

Of course I understand you, you fucking dumbass.  Connor rolled his eyes and then writhed through another jolt of electricity. 

He was so weak and tired, he didn’t even try to move as the aftershocks rolled through him.  He simply glared at the handler, body twitching. 

“You’re being moved to a facility that still does things the… old school way.  It’s smaller and they only handle tough cases.  Your continued lack of cooperation and defiance won’t be tolerated.”

The handler gave him another shock of electricity, just because he could.  “You make me look bad, 787266.”

My name is Connor Lightfoot.  I grew up in Shiprock, New Mexico.  I am a member of the Navajo Nation.  My parents are Daniel and Kai Lightfoot.  I am twenty years old.  I attend New Mexico State University.  I am not a number.  I am a person, not a pet.  I am a hostage, not a slave.  I am not a box boy.  I will not sign. 

The handler came over to him and squatted next to Connor.  He ran the back of his fingers along Connor’s cheek as he spoke.  “It’s the drip for you, Indian boy.  All your defiance is going to be washed away in a drug induced haze.  You’ll cease to be you.  You’ll do as you're told.  You’ll sign your paperwork.  And then you’ll be turned into a good little cock-sucking fuck-toy like every other romantic pet out there.”

Connor’s eyes were wide with terror.  Nothing, absolutely nothing, terrified him more than the drip.  And if they’d known that, they probably could have broken him sooner.  He shook his head, entire body trembling at the thought of being wiped away. 

“Oooh, does that scare you?”

Connor didn’t answer, but he’s sure the handler can see his chest heaving and his breath coming in short, staccato gasps.  Yes.  Yes it scares him. 

“They’re gonna put a needle in your arm and pop that Injun rebelliousness right out of your head.  Doesn’t that sound great, little Brave?” 

Connor felt his cheeks heat up with fury over the slurs and mocking of his culture.  You’re an ass.  A fucking ignorant ass.  Backward piece of shit.  Connor’s eyes blazed with rage.

“Hang on to that rage, little Brave.  You have about two more days before it’s gone forever.  I wonder… can you get to the happy hunting grounds if you don’t even remember that you believed in them?”

The door opened and a second handler came in.  Connor was pulled back into a kneeling position and made to watch as they sat and ate their food.  It smelled amazing, and he was so damn hungry.  Fucking piping hot chicken enchiladas, and was that calabacitas? Bastards.  It was!  He could smell the corn and the squash.  Connor’s mouth watered. 

“Smell something you like, 787266?”  His handler stared at him with a villainous grin.  “I had this flown in special, just for you.  It’s a shame you’ll forget all about this in the next few days.”

Connor watched the two ignorant pigs eat the food until there was nothing left on the plates.  The whole white room was full of the smell of New Mexican cuisine.  They left their empty plates for him to stare at when they were done.  Connor was given nothing.  Again. 

For two days Connor saw no one.  Long hours passed kneeling and chained to the loop in the floor.  His stomach ached with hunger so much so that he was violently nauseated.  His tongue felt thick and heavy in his mouth, like it was swollen.  He had no energy at all.  And eventually, he could no longer kneel. 

When the door opened and three handlers came in with a force-feeding chair, Connor didn’t fight.  He was almost relieved.  They lifted him up and slammed his frail body into the chair.  The muzzle was taken off, but he was too weak to try and be a smart ass. 

“You’re leaving us today, 787266.  We wouldn’t want you passing out before they administer the drip at the new facility.”

Connor whimpered.  He didn’t want to be erased.  It was illegal.  They weren’t supposed to do it anymore.  They couldn’t do this to him!

Connor did nothing as his head was strapped into place and his mouth forced open.  He tried desperately not to cry as the feeding tube was jammed down his throat, but he was so weak and the tube was so uncomfortable.  His eyes watered, and then the tears wouldn’t stop. 

His handler patted his cheek.  “I told you on that first day here that you would sign, one way or another.  All the trainees sign.  You’re not special.  You’re just stubborn.  You think it was bad here, just wait until you’re at the new facility for troublesome cases and you don’t even know who you are.” 

Connor choked on a sob, his mind spinning.  My name is Connor Lightfoot.  I grew up in Shiprock, New Mexico.  I am a member of the Navajo Nation.  My parents are Daniel and Kai Lightfoot.  I attend New Mexico State University.  I am not a number.  I am a person, not a pet.  I am a hostage, not a slave.  I am not a box boy.  I will not sign.  My name is Connor Lightfoot.  I grew up in Shiprock, New Mexico.  I am a member of the Navajo Nation.  My parents are Daniel and Kai Lightfoot.  I attend New Mexico State University.  I am not a number.  I am a person not a pet.  I am a hostage, not a slave.  I am not a box boy.  I will not sign…

He didn’t know what else to do as he desperately tried to hold on to himself, to hope. 

Connor screamed around the tube in sheer terror when they came at him with a needle.  No!  Not yet!  I’m not ready!  I don’t wanna be wiped.  Please!  No! 

The handler laughed.  “You think one injection and done?  No, 787266.  No, it’s not that easy.  It takes days.  You’ll be whimpering and writhing while your mind shuts down.  And probably puking your guts out.  We haven’t done it at this facility for a while, but I remember.  It’s a sight to behold – to watch all the fight and personality drain out of someone.  I’ve already asked your new handler to take pictures and video every day so I can watch you disappear.”

The handler smiles as he pushes the needle into Connor’s neck.  “This is just going to stop any resistance you might give us.  Don’t worry, you won’t even lose consciousness.  You’ll be fully aware for the entirety of your transportation to the new facility.”  He chuckled.  “I say new.  It’s actually quite old.  It’s off the books now, listed as decommissioned.”  He patted Connor’s face.  “I’m sure you’re going to love it there.  And after you’ve been wiped and learned the basics, they're gonna ship you right back here for your romantic training.  So, this isn’t even goodbye.  I’ll see you again when you’re ready to learn how to properly fuck and suck.  You won’t remember me, but I’ll remember you.”

Tears rolled down Connor’s cheeks, but the meds had started to take effect.  He could feel everything.  But he couldn’t move.  The tube was yanked from his mouth and his throat burned where it had been.  His mouth was still dry.  Why couldn’t they have let him have a taste of water, instead of just pumping it into him?  Right!  Because they’re fucking bastards. 

A stretcher was brought into the room and Connor was lifted onto it.  He was strapped down and he didn’t miss the way his handler let his touch linger too long on his thigh, moving up slowly over his groin before securing his chest strap.  Connor wished the creep would try something in a fair fight.  He’d fucking tear his privates off.  But none of this was fair.  The system was stacked against him.  It’s why his parents were in hiding and monsters like the handler roamed free. 

The muzzle was secured back onto his face.  Hmmph.  At least I’ll get to see something other than this damn white room, Connor thought bitterly. 

FUCKERS!  They strapped a fucking blindfold over his eyes.  From white to black instantaneously.  Connor would have sobbed had he not been paralyzed. 

Connor heard his handler laughing.  “They always think they’ll get something other than a white room.  No such luck, Brave Little Injun.  The next thing you see will be the white room at your new facility.”  His handler kissed his forehead.  “Until you return, my little brave.”

Connor wanted to scream, to rage.  And he did, in his head.  But even he knew it was a show.  Connor Lightfoot wasn’t scared, he was terrified.

[hai-nakyuu]

tuesday cleaners (filipino sakusa!AU)

a/n: 4th entry sa event ni @lumpiang-toge​!

“mister sakusa hanggang four-thirty lang kayo dito ah! sabi ni ate janitress nagtagal ka daw hanggang sunset last week! wag kayong masyadong masipag ah!” miss romualdez warns him jokingly.

“yes po,” came the dull response.

kiyoomi sakusa. prettiest boy in class. local clean freak. criticizes the tiniest speck of dirt on a desk.

which isn’t too good for you, because you have a hard time keeping things organized.

and you just so happened to be a cleaner on the same day as him this week.

“y/n,” you hear him call out. “linis na daw tayo. sayang oras.”

you hang up the phone on your mom (power move sis. you gon get an ass whoopin when ya get home) and follow sakusa to the back of the classroom.

“asan daw yung iba?”

“may practice yung english group ni komori, and your friends,” he hands some floorwax to you- “said they had to go to a club meeting. anong club ulit sila?”

“uhh, i think sa earth advocate club sila,” you recall as you move some of the chairs aside.

“hmm. you think?”

“why?” you ask, opening the floor wax box.

“sabi nila kay miss sa baseball sila.”

“huh?” you continue scrubbing the stains off the floor. “sure akong di sila baseball. ala naman baseball club. weird.”

it’s not weird, you think. taenang mga kaibigan sila. alam nilang sabay kaming cleaners ng crush ko lumayas sila. patay sila sakin bukas.

there’s a spot on the floor that looks like correction fluid, and no matter how you aggressively scrub it won't come off-

“what are you doing?”

“huh?” you look up from scrubbing the floor. “naglilinis?”

“well, you don’t have to scrub out every little speck. it’s the floor, and i hate to say it pero public school ‘to. there’s no such thing as a clean floor.”

“but-”

“it’s fine. patulong nalang dyan sa kabilang bintana.”

you step up on a chair, and angle down the jalousies to wipe them.

after a few minutes of silence-

“oh, fuck!” he cries. you whirl around, alarmed.

“anyare?”

“naipit ako sa bintana tangina!” he pulls his fingers out and examines them, you cross over to his side.

“shoot is your hand okay?”

there’s a cut on his index finger, and a drop of blood slips out.

“am i- am i dying?” he turns to you with a fear-stricken look on his face.

you look at him in surprise. “syempre hindi! ampota betadine lang yan-”

before you turn around fully to go for the first aid kit, he grabs your arm, and you turn to meet his slightly panicked eyes, before his gaze goes blank again and he lets go of your arm.

“ayoko.”

“huh? betadine is to stop the infection-”

“i don’t want it.”

“wh-why?” you tilt your head in confusion.

he mumbles something under his breath, muffled by his mask. meeting your eyes, he shakes his head and leans in to whisper it.

“...mahapdi.”

“mahapdi?” you hold in a laugh.

“it stings!” he insists.

“no! the point nga of betadine is para di mahapdi! it’s fine, lika na dito!”

he sighs, but lets you tag him along. you open the bottle of betadine and dab a bit of the liquid on the cotton.

“okay, don’t look.”

“why?” he raises an eyebrow.

“just-” you wrap his finger in the cotton, sealing it with paper tape.

“see? tapos na? magic!” you laugh. “it’s no big deal- ay potek mag-kakwarenta’y trenta na! balik na natin mga chairs!”

“y/n.”

“yes-” you turn around to face him, but he’s so close to you that you nearly stumble backwards.

he takes off his mask and wipes some sweat off his face.

“thanks. again. sa tulong.”

you stare up into his face. there’s no expression- none that are readable, at least- but there’s less hardness in his gaze.

you smile and walk past him, but he grabs you by the arm again, this time, a bit firmer. you try to look over your shoulder, but you can’t see his face.

“friday ako.”

“ha? tuesday ngayon, kaya nga tayo cleaners-”

“cleaner ka today.” he turns to meet your gaze. “sa biyernes pako.”

“oh, oo nga noh,” you realize.

now that you think about it, he always insisted on staying late before the weekend began, muttering under his breath that friday was the day that classrooms were the dirtiest.

“then why did you-”

“it was the only way i could get you alone without catching too much attention.”

he turns around to face you, the hand on your arm moving to lift your chin to meet his gaze.

“i...i’ve liked you for some time now. and... komori told me that he heard from your friends that you liked me din- daw. i didn’t listen... for a long time. but when they ditched on cleaning this afternoon, i realized maybe they were right.”

“so, uhh, i hope komori wasn’t being a dirty liar-”

you shake your head. the corner of his lips quirk up ever so slightly.

“nice.” he nods. “so, ngayon, if you aren’t going anywhere today-”

“on friday.”

“...friday?” he tilts his head.

“we meet back here, clean the classroom, and get something to eat.” you look up at him with a shy grin. “deal?”

sakusa smiles genuinely.

“deal.”

[lochrannn]

Hi! For the Diego and Lila prompt thing, I was thinking about 44, 46 or 50, whichever inspires you the most ❤️

I know I’ll end up doing all of them but the first one I got an idea for was 44. Thanks so much for the prompt! I’m so glad I’m not on my own in my love for these two idiots!

Read “A Moving Gesture” over on AO3 or below the cut.

Prompt: “You’ve always felt like home.”

No Warnings.

Diego pours syrup over his waffles and bacon strips and looks up to watch Lila push something around in her frying pan with a spatula, while he idly uses his fork to tear off a bit of his waffle and pop it in his mouth.

They both have a day off work and whenever that happens they try and spend a lazy morning together before going off to deal with their respective errands. They couldn't agree on breakfast, as Diego wanted waffles and Lila wanted a full English so they've each made their own.

While he chews he takes the time to let his gaze roam over Lila's body. It's fine, she tells him she likes it, so he feels like they both get something out of his inability to keep his eyes off her.

She's wearing nothing but underwear and one of his white undershirts, which she's tied a knot in the front of. Diego is currently following the line of her leg up to the swell of her butt, admiring how her dark skin accentuates the tone of her slender muscles and he thinks if he licked a strip up her thigh, her skin would probably taste sweeter than his waffles.

That's weird.

He's glad he didn't say that out loud.

Diego doesn't always know how to put into words how absolutely insane Lila drives him, but he hopes she knows and he tries as best he can to show her.

“Get your head out of the gutter, Knife Boy” Lila says sharply, and Diego looks up to see that she's spotted him staring.

He can't come up with a quick response, so he lets a lazy smile break out on his face, one he knows she can't resist, and quirks his eyebrow a little suggestively.

True to form, Lila rolls her eyes, but lifts the heavy cast iron pan up from the burner, saunters over to him while she holds the pan out and away from her in an impressively strong grip, and stops in front of him to plant a solid kiss on his lips.

When she pulls away, Diego watches her lick the syrup off her lips and the images that evokes shoot straight to his groin. Lila smirks at him, knowing full well the effect she's had and somehow Diego feels like he's lost a game he didn't know he was playing. He doesn't actually care as long as it involves making out with his super hot girlfriend.

Lila uses her spatula to push the fried eggs, mushrooms, and tomatoes, as well as some gunk she calls black pudding on to a plate that already has beans and toast on it, and sits down in her chair after leaving the pan on the stove, which she's turned off with a twist of the dial.

Before she starts tucking into her food, Lila lifts her legs and pops her feet on Diego's lap and while they eat in comfortable silence, he uses his free hand to massage the sole of one foot at a time.

Diego has finished his breakfast and is using both his thumbs to push into the bottom of Lila's foot, making her twitch a little on occasion but he can also tell that her posture is steadily relaxing, when she asks him, “So what're you getting up to today, then?”

“Was gonna head over to the mansion. Luther wants some help fixing up one of dad's old cars and I think Allison told him it would be a good opportunity for the two of us to bond. We've been doing just fine, I don't know why we need organized play-dates...” Diego says, laughing a little sheepishly.

“Don't tell me you won't enjoy getting all greasy and tinkering with heavy machinery!” Lila chuckles and kicks him very lightly in the chest, causing a slapping sound to reverberate around the kitchen when the sole of her foot hits his naked torso.

Diego grabs her foot and holds on tight, as he's pretty certain she's about to do it again from the way she smirked at the silly sound.

He ignores her antics and goes on, “Was gonna swing by the post office as well and get my mail from the PO box...”

Diego had set up a PO box after his third move in six months when he was nineteen and it had served him well through the years. He'd even held on to it after living at the gym for a few years, because with the anger he drew from Al if he had to take a call for him, Diego never wanted to imagine how the old man would respond if he had to take in his mail as well.

“I was thinking about that, actually...” he begins a little uncertainly and he isn't sure whether Lila is properly listening, as she is concentrating on cleaning up her plate with her last bits of toast.

He squeezes her foot meaningfully to get her attention and when she looks at him, he swallows a little nervously and goes on, “... I was thinking... uh, maybe I could start putting this address down...”

He's not quite certain he's brought his point across, at first, but the way Lila's eyes go wide and then narrow, makes him think that probably he has and there's a sinking feeling in his gut at her reaction.

“You want to use my address for you mail?” she asks harshly, and Diego tries to interject, to explain himself better, but she goes on, “ 'cause you're tired of having to collect it at your PO box?”

“That's not... no, fuck... why does everything have to be a confrontation with you?” Diego tries not to be exasperated but this is not how he wanted this conversation to go.

“Oh please,” Lila scoffs, “You threw a hissy fit last night because I chucked out the tooth paste before properly squeezing out the absolute dregs out of the tube.”

She crosses her arms over her chest, but Diego notices that she's not pulled her feet off his lap, so he thinks this situation might still be salvageable. “I just don't like being wasteful,” he says in a small voice with a half shrug.

Lila pulls one of her feet out of his grip again and puts the sole against the side of his stomach, the way she might her hand if she were closer and wanted to reassure him.

“You know, for a man who has seen his fair share of apocalypses, you seem oddly hung up on the small stuff...” She gets up and takes their plates over to the sink.

While she rinses them under the tap Diego sighs heavily, “It's not just my mail. I was thinking I could pay rent here, bring my stuff over... you know... move in... officially...”

Lila shuts off the water, puts the dishes on the draining rack, dries her hands on the dish towel, and turns around to lean on the counter. “Why?” she asks bluntly.

“Huh?” Diego says dumbly, a little surprised at her question.

“Why do you want to move in here? We talked about this when I first got the place. I like my independence but you're always welcome here, you know that. Why do you need to live here 'officially'?” she even does air-quotes on the last words.

Diego feels crestfallen. Not only does Lila not want him to move in, which was always a possibility, he knew when he started thinking about it, though he's more disappointed than he expected, but on top of that it seems like he really hasn't been able to convey to her how much she means to him, how much he needs her.

Sure, they tell each other they love each other, but maybe that's not always enough.

He starts rubbing his hands together. He wants to explain himself, but before he even opens his mouth he can feel the words slipping from his mind, he knows for certain that his tongue won't co-operate, so he stares down at his hands a little miserably instead.

But Lila must work out what's going on, because she walks over to him, strokes her hand through his hair and then unceremoniously plops down in his lap. While he reaches out to grab her waist and thigh, to make sure she won't slip off, she says none to gently, “Come on, spit it out!”

Diego huffs a laugh at the way the harsh and insensitive words contradict her gentle gesture. He takes a deep breath to settle his nerves, tries to work out what he wants to say, arranges the words in his head and says, “Whe-hen I left the mansion when I was s-s-seventeen, I didn't think I'd ever find a home again, let alone want one,” he's struggling to control his breathing, ironic as he doesn't need it to survive, but he does need it to talk properly, so he takes another deep breath, “but with you that's changed! You've always felt like home to me, Lila, and I just don't understand why we can't build one together!”

He looks her in the eyes and is trying to read what she's thinking but he's finding it hard to tell.

Then she leans in and kisses him on the temple and when she pulls back there's a little smile on her lips that has his heart stutter in his chest and she says, “Good answer! I'll call the landlady tomorrow about the rental agreement, I need to talk to her anyway about the light fitting in the bathr-mmmmmhhh”

Diego cuts her off by kissing her deeply. Right now he couldn't give two shits about the light fitting in the bathroom, but he's already looking forward to that being another one of their shared problems.

[reginaofdoctorwho]

weird shit that would probably have something to do with me in a horror movie

no one wanted this but i’m bored and found a bottle so you’re all getting it. yes these are all true. check the tags, if u think i’ve missed something please let me know!

there was a murder (technically, i don’t really count it as a murder) next door when i was four years old on christmas morning

the weird antique glass bottle i found half-buried in the woods in the woods yesterday with living bugs in it that made no attempt to leave it once i uncovered it

there is a local cult in the next town over. this is not the same as the local cult that was in the other town over where my mom grew up

random completed animal skeletons in the woods behind our house, i’m talking prey and predator, both laid out like in a goddamn scientific diagram. for a while there’d be ones in the middle of our yard, always the same type of animal, always just the bones and nothing else, laid out like it was posed. this has been happening for over half a decade and we have no fucking clue how, why, or who is doing it

the screaming from the woods that i’m going to assume is a fox

my sister almost dated a murderer. his niece or something is in my class

there is a house that is now part of a “local ghost tour” that belonged to my great+ grand parents during the civil war where my great+ aunt died allegedly murdered by her husband who is actually blood related to me. family history says she died of childbirth, which given that it was the 1800s... probably is true

there was an actual murderer in our family a few generations back but he married in and killed his wife and her sister. they didn’t find out about it until they read his journals after he died where it apparently told everything he did and they decided. “well, that wouldn’t look good for the family, and they’re already dead anyway” and just kept it hidden??

the fact we have my great great grandmother’s dress from probably 1890s or 1900s. even more so the fact that i fit in it. if this was fantasy horror (vampires, some immortal thing or ghost) i’d be fucking dead or cursed

fairly certain i was possessed by the ghost of a puritan as a kid

my family seems to have a curse with babies and nurses? my great uncle died when he was born because long story short, hospitals were the new hot thing, he was perfectly healthy, then a nurse dropped him and he died instantly. my sister died when she was a toddler and the hospital actively tried to delete her hospital records to cover it up and ended up getting fined by the state for it. the nurses responsible were not arrested or punished in any way.

my family all has fucked up connective tissue, in my brother it was bad enough he had to get a steel bar in his chest so it wouldn’t cave in.

the many times i have almost drowned, sometimes due to intentional actions by humans (my dad, it was my dad)

this in addition to the other fucked up shit he did before the divorce when he still lived here, including but not limited to: killing my mom’s favorite pet goat, hanging its skull in a tree, and leaving the body in the woods. not letting his kids learn how to cook. anytime someone asked him to cook he’d put as much pepper/hot sauce in as he could (even for like, scrambled eggs) and give it to the youngest person, usually a toddler. this was me at times. taking his kids out to the woods and threatening murder. taking his kids out to the woods and threatening burning. purposely locked the basement from the inside so we couldn’t get the gaping hole in the stairs leading to one of three kids rooms fixed. tearing up pictures of the kids whenever my mom did something he didn’t like. i had more here but i tried to cut it down a litttle

people have threatened to murder me before. one time a girl didn’t threaten, and actually acted like she was starting to like me, but her cousin read her diary or something and found out she was planning to commit a lot of murder, and told her parents and she got sent to a psychiatric ward for a couple weeks

my mom lived down the street from a family that got axe-murdered by one of their two sons when she was a kid. the murderer did get out on an insanity plea and is still in the area. also their neighbor’s mom “lost her mind” (how the story was told) when she had to protect their kids while her husband went over to try to protect the non murderer son when he got home from school and ran over screaming about his brother trying to kill him and had killed their parents

also she knew a girl who almost got kidnapped by this really fucked up traveling serial killer that has his own wikipedia page that is,,, lengthy. the girl had [alleged] mafia ties, and the guy ended up dying shot by police despite them being told to bring him in, which sounds kinda suspicious

long story short i’d probably be the sequel where one comes back

apparently i go to the “bad” school, which i found out in a coffee shop when i overheard two girls talking about how one’s dad went there and how horrible and dangerous it is

school fights are weird. either they don’t happen or they come freakishly close to murder. people slam heads into lockers, stomp on bones, drag people by hair along the ground. one time in my brother’s class a 4′9″ girl sent a 6′2″ football player to the hospital. there was video of a fight a couple years ago that’s still around. it was brutal, but also one of the girls fighting was taking one for the team in it and got the other kicked out

we don’t have a ceiling in all of the third floor, and the cafeteria has 2. this is not relevant in any way, but it’s important to me that you know this

also the guys kept ripping the heating vents/radiators/whatever off the walls in their bathrooms and got almost all the bathrooms locked. including the girls’ ones.

also everyone kept punching holes in the walls so on some of them it’s just,,, metal sheeting down the whole hallway

there are so many fucking shootings in the next town over. literally five years ago it was this nice place where kids would go on history tours, i did when my sister worked for that group. now there is pretty much one business that has not been held up at gunpoint, and if u look up to the serial killer bullet point, it is for v similar ties. it’s a pizza place and if u ever stop by u gotta try it

women in my family have weirdly good intuition but every couple generations we get doubtful. my great grandma didn’t want a hospital birth but decided “hey it’s the hot new thing for a reason”, my mom switched churches based on nothing but intuition and it turned out someone was a pedophile there (found out years later), i instantly could tell my friend’s boyfriend was a pos and wasn’t surprised later when he told her he’d murder and dismember me in front of her, and upon meeting him told him he was a fucking coward and couldn’t do it. he broke up with her a month later.

i was really good friends for a while with two guys that burned a building down. yes they were arrested. i was friends before and after the fire. they’re pretty nice, but this girl they used to date (at different times, they were brothers, yes it was fucking weird and uncomfortable for everyone involved except her but that’s it’s own thing) said some fucked up shit and it was the closest i ever got to starting a fight. anyway i’m still friends with both on facebook. one of them shares a lot of king of the hill memes

speaking of that fight, i 100% would’ve tried to kill her in that moment. u know that john mulaney quote like “i didn’t understand how a person could want to kill another person. then i got cheated on, and i was like ‘oh, okay.’”? that was me, but replace “cheated on” with she told me it was good my five year old sister was dead because she was a waste, and told me she hoped i’d die of covid”. it was mainly the sister thing. i couldn’t move because if i did i’d start a fight with the [way] above mentioned shit.

my family has a literal feud with a local farming family. i mean, we keep farm animals (sheep, goats, chickens), these people have that, pigs, and crops too. the feud was because their great uncle (or great grand uncle, i’m a little fuzzy on the details) published an autobiography (despite not being anyone famous/important) and in it talked about when he was friends with my grandfather and how creepy my great grandfather was (this was the one with the dead firstborn son) because he kept newspaper clippings of the Lindbergh baby’s kidnapping and murder pinned to a board on the wall of his office/basement. also because he was a child of german immigrants who wanted to fight against nazis in WW2 (how suspicious [sarcasm]). members of their family are in my grade. they charged my sister for almost half an extra pound of goods, too, which just revitalized it.

i live by corn fields. i am surrounded by cornfields. (joke one)

i was friends for a while with this girl whose baby teeth,,, didn’t really fall out completely? she was 17 the last time i saw her in person, she’s probably 19 now and judging by her facebook pictures they’re still Like That. she had a very symmetrical mouth/teeth, which made it weirder. just to clarify, she had some of her baby teeth pushed forward and up, so they kind pointed out a little? and all her adult teeth. she was literally so pretty.

a teacher who is v sexual with his female students came into my english class (he is a science teacher) to demand why i wasn’t signed up for his class. we then both became increasingly passive aggressive and he told the whole class where i live with specific directions and landmarks. the guy sitting next to me had to try to tone things down despite being obviously confused as to why it was even happening (me too buddy). he lives down the road from my sister. when my niece had her birthday party at our house i was outside setting things up and he slowed his car down and honked at me. fuckin creep

[shijiujun]

Hi 👋 You're the only BL translator I know so I wanted ask you something. Why Chinese BL novel or manhua titles are almost always translated? From my understanding this is not a norm in Yaoi translations they just romanticize the titles, but almost all the Chinese BL I saw translates the titles, causing some very weird translations. This is not a dig at Chinese translators I’m very grateful to them but I’m curios to why they do this. Thanks for help, have a great day and take care.

heya! actually ahahaha i’m not very sure either! i’m probably the wrong person to ask, some of the titles are literal translations, and some are definitely a bit more creative and sound slightly better, but who knows!! i think because some chinese phrases are easier to translate for example 千秋 literally means Thousand Autumns, and it helps readers visualize what it could be? Then others like 当年万里觅封侯 became Those Years in Quest of Honor Mine and when I first saw it, ngl I was like... how....?? Not that it’s actually wrong, but damn do I envy those ppl who came up with this because I sure as hell can’t

Then there’re those which are really hard to give an English name to for example 定海浮生录 just became Dinghai Fusheng Records which is passable as well hahaha 

It depends on who starts the first translations i bet XD they get to call it whatever they want. i agree some of it sounds weird, but until we get like better ones, we can only make do. for example sha po lang - i’m not even sure if there’s an exact like english translation to this which is why everyone has been using the hanyu pinyin, and then suddenly the live action is calling it Winner is King and I’m like.... bro.... what the fuck XD

[lorei-writes]

Masamune x Polish!MC

Thanks a lot to @datenoriko​ for suggesting this and for @nad-zeta​ for writing hers (VERY INSPIRING, SERIOUSLY, GO CHECK THOSE OUT) headcanons :D Here’s my version. I wrote for Polish MC in particular, because I didn’t want to be disrespectful and there’s a lot of historical nuance that I could butcher otherwise.

[Note from future Lorei: This is honestly very stupid and I cannot believe I didn’t write it when I was 15, geez.]

Content Warnings: profanities, kidnapping, pain, injuries

Background information & notes:

Polish-Lithuanian commonwealth was partitioned by Habsburg Austria, Kingdom of Prussia and Russian Empire. As the result of annexations, the country disappeared from the world maps for 123 years. I will not go into detail about how the situation of Polish people was different in each of the parts, since that’s besides the point, but well - keep in mind that it did differ greatly. One can argue that the marks of it are still visible today, both in infrastructure, architecture and language. 

I was born in the South-Eastern region of Poland and as such, that’s where I’d like my MC to be brought up. 

MC is in no way representative of how each and every woman from Poland is. I tried to write her based on the women of my family, my friends, classmates, basically - the people I’ve seen and spent my time with. 

I will not include anything religion-related, although it is a thing that’s present in lives of everybody (even atheists) here (to be more precise, Catholicism). Why? Because it is a very controversial topic, one of huge complexity.

... There will be profanities, because I love my Polish swearwords - and CURSE YOU ENGLISH. WHEN I YELL THE CURSE I WANT TO SOUND LIKE A FREAKING FERAL ANIMAL

Broken English in italics = broken Japanese.

There will be a dictionary at the end, so don’t worry. 

Masamune

Upon meeting her, he did not understand anything she said - well, none of them did. However, she did rescue lord Nobunaga - a funnily dressed foreigner that seemingly didn’t speak Japanese couldn’t be that bad, could she?

Yet she still was thrown into the dungeon. In his mind, that was the perfect opportunity to investigate on his own. 

Taking advantage of the opportunity, Masamune sneaked into her cell. Soon, his blade was on her throat.  “ Who are...?” he started, but was instantly cut off by her yelling: “ Czy was tu wszystkich kurwa do reszty pojebało?!” He stood there, staring at her. Seeing his confusion, she pointed at him and then tapped on her temple a couple of times, an unimpressed look on her face. 

Was she suggesting that he was insane? Hah, that certainly was some lass. He laughed loudly and gestured for her to follow him.

Well, it certainly took some explaining, but in the end, she got a job as one of the maids. After all, you hardly need to understand language to sweep the floors and do the cleaning. 

However, she... Didn’t exactly fit in. Not just because of her weird mother tongue - she was taller than most women and not exactly petite. Appearance wise, she resembled the Portuguese missionaries, but that wasn’t exactly this either. 

Masamune came around to “bother” her at times. To his surprise, she started to picking up the basic words by herself. Sometimes, she’d point an object, say something (presumably the name of it in her language) and wait for him to do so as well.

 One day, she did just that while cleaning the floor of a veranda.  “ Chrząszcz.” It took a second to register. Was that really a word? “ Chrząszcz,” she repeated, staring at him. Right, he had to reply, otherwise she’d never stop. “ A beetle.” 

Later that day, he tried to pronounce the word. He couldn’t do it. Actually, he started thinking that she was making it all up. 

That, however, changed once he heard her sing. Unaware of his presence, she continued working, the song filling the air: “Gdy swe oczy otworzyłem Wielki żal ogarnął mnie Po policzkach łzy spłynęły Zrozumiałem wtedy, że Czarny chleb i czarna kawa Opętani samotnością Myślą swą szukają szczęścia Które zwie się wolnością”

To his delight, she started speaking broken Japanese within a couple of months of her stay at Azuchi. Finally, he could satiate his curiosity - or at least he planned to. 

She went out to do the shopping in the afternoon, but didn’t return after the dusk. Thinking something bad must have happened to her, Nobunaga issued a search. Masamune volunteered to lead it. 

She woke up with a start, her head throbbing. She looked around - where was she? It seemed to be a tiny hut of sorts. She got up, trying to catch a glimpse of whatever was happening outside through the crack in the door. A man was guarding it. Did she hear a river? Whinny of horses? She had to escape - she search for cracks in the walls, until she found one. She recognized that armour. They were looking for her! She had to make some noise! 

She yanked at the door, but it didn’t want to give out. She banged at it with her fists, yelling: “ Tutaj! Ratunku!”

The kidnapper didn’t understand the weird language, so he didn’t react at first. However, once the heard the approaching horses, he decided he had to silence her. He got inside the hut and gripped her by the wrists, telling her to shut up.

To his surprise, she struggled against him, breaking free of his hold on her.

He pinned her arms to the wall of the hut, threatening to hurt her if she even squeaked.  “ A weźże ty mnie kurwa w nos pocałuj!” she yelled, before headbutting him. 

Surprised, the man didn’t react instantly. Taking advantage of the opportunity, she kicked him hard.

It didn’t exactly work, though. Infuriated, the man wanted to punch her - yet, he didn’t notice the rescue that had just arrived. Masamune stopped his fist in the air. 

Masamune didn’t see her in the couple of the following days, as they all worked to find out who was the person behind her kidnapping - and why was she even considered a target in the first place. 

When he finally met her, he was stunned. Her entire forearms were covered in bruises in the shade of deep purple, almost black. He lifted her hands up, saying: “ I’ll check you up for wounds. Wounds. Check. You.” To his surprise, she shook her head and smiled brightly. “ Boli, znaczy że żyje. Hurt mean alive.”

It dawned on him then - he never really saw her smile before. They were complete strangers, but he wanted to know more.

With the language barier in place, it wasn’t exactly an easy task. Granted, she could understand simple sentences - yet, it wasn’t enough. Masamune was up to the challenge and so, he asked her to teach him her language. 

Given the grammatical cases that influenced form of both nouns, adjectives and numerals, he soon started regretting his choice. The nouns had gender? Two future tenses? And what was up with all those ch-h, rz-ż, u-ó pairs that sounded exactly the same, but somehow weren’t interchangeable? Not to mention how some words seemed to consists exclusively of consonants. Rybołówstwo? -wstwo? 

“ Okay. Your turn.  Na wyścigach wyścigowych wyścigówek wyścigowych wyścigówka wyścigowa wyścignęła wyścigówkę wyścigową numer sześć.” Masamune blinked fast.  “ It was the same word over and over again, right?” “ Nope. Maybe  w Szczebrzeszynie chrząszcz brzmi w trzcinie?”

It seemed she tried to torture him. Though, having her laugh, even if at him, made him feel warm. 

 One day, he was taking a stroll and heard her voice. This time, however, he understood the words she hummed to herself.  “ Raz i dwa, raz i dwa, Dziewczynka Wojenka na imię ma. Trzy i cztery, trzy i cztery, Dziwne ona ma maniery. Pięć i sześć, pięć i sześć, Wcale lodów nie chce jeść. Siedem, osiem, siedem, osiem, Wciąż o kości tylko prosi. “

“Where do you come from, if you sign about war like that?” he asked. “ Can’t tell you. You’ll think I’m mad.” “ Try it either way.” “ You see, future. But I can’t say wars aren’t a thing anymore. Sadly.”

After that, they spoke for a while. Apparently, her grandparents were both in partisan army. She grew up hearing their stories - or much rather, what little was said about the horrors of the war. What surprised him, though, was her request.

“ Will you teach me how to use a sword?” “ A sword? Why?” “ I can’t be helpless. I have to adapt.” “ That’s the spirit,” he laughed. 

She certainly was a curious creature, one with a will to survive. She was amusing... Although sometimes she did find a way to get on his nerves. 

“ I am NOT cute.” “ You are. You have lisp and can’t say “r” like little child that can’t speak good yet.”

Dictionary & Notes:

“ Czy was tu wszystkich kurwa do reszty pojebało?!” - “Are you all fucked in the damn head here?”, although not exactly. The Polish version doesn’t entail anything that could indicate any connection to psychological disorder or madness. Both “kurwa” and “pojebało”(pojebać) are swear words that would be translated to “fuck”. Recently those words lost a bit of their shocking effect, but if you ask me - you still don’t want your mother to hear you saying those. Under any circumstances. Direct translation would be “Are you all fucking fucked up here?”

“Chrząszcz” - a beetle. However, can we appreciate the nasal “ą” sound and the fact that it’s the only vowel in the entire word? Apparently, it’s hard to pronounce for foreigners :D 

“Gdy swe oczy otworzyłem /Wielki żal ogarnął mnie /Po policzkach łzy spłynęły /Zrozumiałem wtedy, że //Czarny chleb i czarna kawa /Opętani samotnością / Myślą swą szukają szczęścia /Które zwie się wolnością”  - lyrics from song, you can listen to it here. “ When I opened my eyes/ a grief overwhelmed me /Tears run down my cheeks/ Then I understood that // Black bread and black coffee / Possessed by loneliness / Keep searching with their thoughts for happiness/ name of which is freedom” (excuse the translation, I wrote it myself). I don’t listen much to Polish music, but this was somewhere around ever since I remember - I think many people would recognize it? Plus, the theme of freedom seems to be rather common one.

“ Tutaj! Ratunku!”  - “Here! Rescue me!”

“ A weźże ty mnie kurwa w nos pocałuj!” - “ Fuck, kiss my nose.”; There’s another version of with, “pocałuj mnie w dupę” (kiss my ass). This one is more polite? Less crude? Either way, it means “I’m fed up with your bullshit.” Note: weźże is an verb derived from “weź” (to take) by adding a particle “że” at the end. Said particle indicated irritation and frustration. Construction weź + do something (weź idź na spacer - go on a walk!) is basically an order/ a request said with some level of irritation. 

“ Boli, znaczy że żyje. “ - “If it hurts, it’s alive.”/ “If you’re hurting, you’re alive.” ; that one isn’t exactly universal, but it was a huge one for me. I always heard it from my grandparents and aunts. 

Rybołówstwo - ... Fishing. When pronounced, it’s “rybołóstwo” - we still have a cluster of consonants here, but it’s easier to deal with. 

“ Na wyścigach wyścigowych wyścigówek wyścigowych wyścigówka wyścigowa wyścignęła wyścigówkę wyścigową numer sześć. “ - “During the racing event the racing car got ahead of the racing car number six.”; tongue-twister If you were wondering,the adjectives are in bold. The crossed out word is the predicate of the sentence (the verb).

  w Szczebrzeszynie chrząszcz brzmi w trzcinie  - in Szczebrzeszyn a beetle can be heard from the reed; tongue-twister. 

“ Raz i dwa, raz i dwa, /Dziewczynka Wojenka na imię ma. /Trzy i cztery, trzy i cztery, /Dziwne ona ma maniery. /Pięć i sześć, pięć i sześć, /Wcale lodów nie chce jeść. /Siedem, osiem, siedem, osiem, /Wciąż o kości tylko prosi. “ - song lyrics you can listen to here. Lao Che is a band that I think plenty of younger people interested in rock music will know. “One and two, one and two / The girls is named little war / Three and four, three and four / Strange are her manners / Five and six, five and six / She doesn’t want to eat ice-cream at all / Seven, eight, seven, eight/ She just keeps begging for bones.” ; All the songs from this particular album (Dzieciom - For Children; yes, it’s for adults that used to be children) are stylized to resemble a rhyme for children - at least in the lyrics and at first glance. 

A note: Japanese and Polish “r” are extremely different. Japanese “r” resembles Polish “l” sound a lot - and many children can’t pronounce “r” at first, exchanging it for the “l” sound. In other words, Masamune speaking Polish would have a really hard time due to his slight lisp... And he’d sound like a little child that tries, but fails. :) IT WOULD BE SO CUTE! 

When MC says her grandparents were in partisan army, she means they were part of AK - Armia Krajowa, during WWII. Whether that’s a good or a bad thing, I’ll let you decide for yourself. I don’t want to make this post any longer. 

“ Seeing his confusion, she pointed at him and then tapped on her temple a couple of times, an unimpressed look on her face. “ -  That’s basically how I’d show somebody another Polish saying “A puknij się w głowę” (Tap yourself on the head), which means “are you nuts”. 

O, yeah. I don’t know if you can find the translation of the entire lyrics online, but if you were curious... You know, hit me up. I can translate them.

... I got too excited.  Would you be mad if I wrote another one of those? I kinda want to... 

Tag list: @datenoriko , @nad-zeta , @tsubaki3192 , @choi-jiyu If you want to be tagged under my future works, let me know (any way works)!^^ Also, if you have some preferences (for example: you’d rather not be tagged under some series, etc.), please, tell me.