#his dark materials s2 finale

[bluebeary-jay]

Face to face

Din Djarin x f!Mandalorian!Reader

Summary: as riduurs, you and Din can finally show your faces to each other without suffering any consequences. but when the time finally comes, your insecurities and fears of rejection come into play, threatening to ruin this important moment

Tags: just pure tooth-rotting fluff, Din and Reader being insecure, they're sweethearts though and so in love, Din being a supporting husband <3, mandalorian customs are probably half-accurate but i did my best in research 😌

Word count: 3K

A/N: haiii guys!! long time no see 🤗 i had this idea ever since i watched s2 of the mandalorian almost a month ago and i'm finally done! thank you to all who stick around and i really hope you'll enjoy my first attempt at writing din (feel free to let me know what you think 🤭)! i love all of you darlings 🥰 and as always, happy reading!! 💕

Din Djarin wouldn’t ever admit it to anyone, but he always wanted a family. The memories of his parents were hazy, but he remembered how much they loved each other and in the depths of his soul longed for a connection like this someday. Being the bounty hunter didn’t give many opportunities to look for a relationship, however, and with time he abandoned the hope for a place and people he could call home. He convinced himself that he was content being on his own.

But then the Child came along, and with it everything has changed. This little wrinkly womp rat became the most precious being in his life and Din was ready to die to protect Grogu – but he never expected that he’d also meet his future riduur because of the kid.

He did. You, a fellow Mandalorian Din spoke to only a couple of times in the hideout on Nevarro, decided to help him on his quest, and from this moment on he didn’t stand a chance. You were everything Djarin admired – brave, compassionate, skillful and kind – and though you both respected the Way of the Mandalore and never removed your helmets in each other’s presence, he knew in his soul that you were beautiful as well.

It was a long road to come to terms with what he felt for you and gather the courage to actually let you know it. But it was all worth it just for this moment when you exchanged your vows and he officially became yours, and you his. Now you were his riduur and he finally had every right to admire and cherish you like you deserved.

And most importantly, he could finally see you. The pair of you talked about this moment a lot during the nights spent on the Crest, tangling your fingers together when the ship was flooded with pitch-black darkness. Din used to whisper to you of his dreams, how he longed to run his eyes over your uncovered body, taking his time to commit to memory every little detail of your physique and expressions. You, with a giddy and wistful tone, told him how impatient you were to at last find out how his lips would feel on yours and what color his eyes were. Even when you both knew you were going to marry, you didn’t rush things and never removed your helmets until your union became official.

But you did see each other’s faces, once, though not in a conventional way. Din remembered it clearly as a day, though his eyes – as well as yours – were covered by a piece of a material the entire time. Both of you were desperate for each other that night, the tension hanging above your heads straining the resolve about waiting. And then came the moment when you didn’t fight it anymore. Instead, you both sat down on Din’s cot and without your sense of sight spent the next hour talking and trailing fingertips down each other’s faces.

Din reminisced about this moment a lot of times. He tried to remember the shape of your features to create a full picture of you in his mind while he laid alone in his bed, longing for your vicinity. Even if your bodies were separated only by the layers of beskar, it was still too far for him.

He didn’t have to wait any longer now.

It was the day of your wedding and Din Djarin never felt happier than in that moment when you recited Mandalorian vows and he got to touch your bare hand again, not covered by a glove, to put a custom-made ring on your finger. It wasn’t a necessary but he wanted to make this day memorable and meaningful for you. A few tears of joy were shed, but his face was still concealed by the helmet, allowing his emotions to take hold of him.

He hadn’t let go of your hand since the small ceremony (if one could even call it that) ended, and you squeezed his palm every few steps as you walked toward a house that was going to be your home for the next couple of days. The Child was being taken care of by other Mandalorians so that you could be completely alone for this special moment.

You were buzzing with excited energy for the whole week prior to your wedding, but now Din could sense his partner’s nervousness. He wasn’t exactly surprised – after all, it has been years for both of you since anyone saw you without your helmet on. But with every moment that you neared the bedroom, you seemed more insular, more withdrawn and hesitant, and Din started to really worry.

“Are you okay, cyar’ika (darling)?”

You slowed down, not answering right away, which caused Din to furrow his brows with confusion. Maybe you didn’t want to do it after all? Maybe it was too sudden for you? Or maybe he came off as too eager?

“Cyar’ika,” he repeated softly, wanting to put you at ease – but it didn’t seem to meet the target. “If you’re not ready…”

“No. No, I’m ready. I just…”

You trailed off. Din wordlessly guided you to the edge of the bed, cradling your hands in his – one gloved one and one not. The light of the setting sun flowed in through the small window and reflected off the hard beskar you both wore, bathing your figure in a beautiful golden light.

He was already so in love with you. What could possibly be the cause of your hesitation?

“I’m just nervous,” you murmured at last with your head bowed, looking at your joined hands. “I don’t want you to be disappointed.”

“Disappointed?” the Mandalorian repeated before he could think, and shook his head slightly. “What are you… What are you talking about? Why would I ever be?”

You lifted your gaze, and though Din couldn’t see your eyes, he could almost feel the weight of your fears on his own shoulders. The modulator in your helmet was hiding any trace of it, but he knew you long enough to recognize the tiniest shift in your body language.

“Ner kar’ta (my heart). I could never be disappointed with you.” He laced his fingers with yours, once again admiring how perfectly they fit together, and lifted them to his chest. “You own my heart and soul now, and nothing will change that.”

He hoped to soothe your nerves, but you were still silent. It wasn’t at all what Mando was expecting from this evening and he was at a loss for what to do to fix it.

“Would it help if I showed you my face first?” he asked after some time, and your head snapped up.

“No.” Even with the modulator, your voice clearly sounded broken and regretful, and it was wounding Din more than anything else could. “We were supposed to do it together.”

“We can,” he assured quietly, swiping his thumb over your knuckles. “But the most important thing to me… is for you to feel comfortable during it. If you want to wait–”

“I don’t.” You untangled your hands from his hold and instead brought them to his chest, placing them on the beskar breastplate. He couldn’t wait to take it off and feel your touch on his skin. “If I wasn’t sure, I wouldn’t marry you and make you my riduur.”

You leaned forward and lightly bonked your helmets together, a sweet gesture Din loved since the first time you did it.

“Ni kar’tayl gar darasuum or’atu an mayen. (I love you more than anything.) More than life itself.”

“I know,” he answered simply and delicately brought your hands to the edges of his helmet. It was obvious what he was offering you. “That’s why I’m willing to do it for you.”

You were still, not daring to move, and Din nodded slightly to show you that he’s certain of his decision. His heart was beating heavily in his chest, though, and he could feel sweat forming on the back of his neck.

Showing your face to others was one of the worst crimes in Mandalorian culture, but doing it with your riduur was the highest honor that not everyone was fortunate enough to experience. But Din Djarin was among the lucky ones. Even though it was not in a way he always imagined, he didn’t care as long as you were happy.

You gripped the edges of his helmet tighter and a high hiss sounded, a telltale sign that the metal piece was ready to be removed. And slowly – so very slowly – you did. Din felt a flow of cooler air on his hot skin: first his chin, then his cheeks, finally his forehead…

And lastly, he inhaled shakily before lifting his head to look into the void of your visor.

A second passed by. Then two. Then ten, though Din felt like it must’ve been a full minute now. And still you didn’t move, just watched him silently, motionless as a statue.

The Mandalorian swallowed with difficulty, starting to feel very self-conscious. The crisp air cooled the sweat gathering on the nape of his neck and he had to use all his self-control not to fiddle his fingers nervously. He felt so naked and exposed under your gaze, though he absolutely shouldn’t – you were his riduur and there was no reason to feel ashamed or insecure with you. But he couldn’t help worrying: what if he wasn’t what you expected? What if you didn’t find him attractive at all?

Then a movement of your hands drew his attention and he watched, transfixed, as you slowly started to take off your glove, tugging one finger off at a time. Once your hand was freed from the confines of the protective material, you flexed your fingers before lifting both of your palms to his face.

Even though Din was acutely aware of your every move, he still somehow flinched in surprise at your touch, causing you to freeze and search his eyes with the air of concern around you. He quickly gave you a small nod, silently begging you to proceed, and, thankfully, you did. Your fingertips traced his cheeks, so delicately it almost tickled, brushing down the path to his stubble, and then back up to the arch of his nose and eyebrows. Djarin’s eyelids fluttered closed and he let out a shaky breath, giving in to the most amazing sensation that your touch was.

“I knew you had to be the most beautiful being in the galaxy,” you whispered from under your helmet with a voice filled with a plethora of raw emotions. Din regretted not being able to see your face at that moment, but if it would help you feel more comfortable in such a memorable and important situation, he was ready to do anything for you.

“I’m sure you’re a million times more radiant, cyar’ika,” he said back. His voice was weirdly weak and raspy, sounding strangely to him – probably because he knew there was another person hearing him without his helmet on. “Even if I don’t see your face, mesh’la (beautiful), today or ever… The love I have for you will never change or waver. That I promise.”

“It won’t exactly be fair to the Creed if I don’t remove my helmet in front of my husband,” you answered, half-teasing, but Din knew there was a real worry behind your words.

“You know very well there’s nothing said about it in the Creed.” He opened his eyes, offering you a small smile. “And I don’t remember our vows mentioning it, either.”

You clicked your tongue with exasperation, but Din also saw your shoulders relaxing, a sign that some of your nerves ebbed away.

“Gev bic (stop it),” you laughed, letting your hand fall down – but before it could happen, Din caught your wrist and lifted it back to his face. He slowly kissed the inside of your palm, down to the veins disappearing under your sleeve, his eyes fixated on your visor the entire time. His smile grew slightly when he felt a shiver run through you.

“I love you, ner kar’ta,” he whispered. “Even if you’re a half-Hutt under your armor.”

“Don’t push it.”

You let go of his hand and Din’s face fell, fearing that he really went too far. He reached for you but stopped when you straightened up and took a deep breath, your hands going to the last thing that separated you from him – your helmet.

He held his breath and his heart beat erratically as he watched you. He tried not to blink, not wanting to miss the moment when he finally got to see your face. Just the fact that you were willing to do this meant so much to him, but…

Slowly, you took your helmet off and placed it down on the mattress right next to his. Then, a pair of irises gazed into the depths of Din Djarin’s heart.

…you were wrong.

Oh, how wrong you were.

There was no mistaking it that you were by far the most breathtaking sight the Mandalorian had ever laid his eyes on.

The Maker must’ve been overly generous, or maybe favored you, for looking at you… it felt like coming home.

You stared at him with gentle, tentative eyes of the most beautiful color in the world, and Din would’ve gladly lost himself in them. Your lips, so tempting and soft-looking, were parted slightly as you awaited his reaction, but he couldn’t move. He just watched, spellbound, and wondered if this truly is reality and not some cruel, elusive dream.

He hadn’t felt such awe even when he saw Grogu doing his magic for the first time. Hadn’t felt such elation even when a new skin made of beskar was forged just for him. Had never before felt such love in his life.

You were a wonder. A miracle.

“Cyare?”

Your voice sounded almost fearful to your ears, but you couldn’t help it – Din seemed unable to utter even a word, and panic started to flood your veins when you noticed tears gathering in his dark, beautiful eyes. “Din–”

But before you could move away, he slipped off the bed and knelt by your feet. You were so taken aback by this action that you didn’t even react when he cradled both of your hands in his and pressed lingering kisses to your fingers, one after another.

“If I could, I’d marry you all over again,” he rasped, meeting your gaze with so much love and adoration in his brown eyes that it took your breath away. “How did I get so lucky…?”

“I think I’m the lucky one,” you let out a breathless laugh of relief, your pupils darting across the lines and grooves of his face. “You… you’re not just saying that, right?”

“Cyar’ika, look at me.” He gently tilted your chin up, making your eyes meet his. For a second he faltered, parting his lips in wonder at the feeling of your skin under his fingertips, before he swallowed and gazed at you again. “Do you doubt my words?”

No. There was really no questioning his motives. You knew Din was as honest as one could be and there were only your own insecurities at play here. But the longer you looked at him, his expression so full of love and devotion, the less relevant your own doubts were becoming.

You couldn’t think of anything else but him.

“I really want to kiss you,” you whispered instead of answering, and his face broke into a wide, joyous grin. “Can I–?”

The Mandalorian didn’t even wait for you to finish – the second those words left your mouth, he surged forward and pressed his lips to yours forcefully, eliciting a surprised sound out of you, which soon turned into a needy whimper. You didn’t give him a chance to back away and instantly tangled your fingers into his hair, moving clumsily to be closer to him.

But when you attempted to climb onto his lap, your breast plates collided with a metallic clank, forcing the pair of you to put some space between you. Din huffed with frustration, while you laughed and cupped his face in your hands.

“You’re quite impatient for a bounty hunter,” you accused him playfully, nudging your nose with his. You took a deep, calming breath, wanting to surround yourself with the smell of him completely, but your riduur didn’t let you indulge for long.

He moved quickly and, without a warning, kissed you briefly again – and then one more time. It was more like a light peck, and you longed to feel his tongue inside your mouth once more, but at the same time relished in every sensation that his lips brought. Every touch he gave you was something infinitely precious.

“I’ve waited longer than you,” he murmured. His hands were already moving, taking off the beskar on his forearms and shoulders, reaching where he could without removing you from his lap just yet. “You have no idea what you’re doing to me, cyar’ika.”

You smiled widely and looked up from his deft fingers to throw another teasing comment, but in one second you lost your train of thoughts.

Because Din was blushing.

The feared Mandalorian’s face – a face you were finally allowed to see whenever you desired – was sprinkled with redness across his cheeks and ears. And you were the cause of that.

The thought of it almost caused your eyes to water.

“What are you looking at, mesh’la?”

Your eyes found him again and you smiled brightly, causing Din’s heart to skip a couple of beats.

You took his stubbly chin in-between your fingers and brought his lips closer, planting a soft kiss there that had the Mandalorian melting. He covered your hand with his, feeling the band on your finger under his own.

A miracle.

“I’m looking at you.”

[runningfrom2am]

cold nights // twenty-two

summary: you showed him colours he knows he can't see with anyone else.

pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader

wc: 3.8k

masterlists / nav / requests

tags/warnings: tribute!reader and mentor!coriolanus, r is very sweet (too kind for this world. literally.), sunshine x grumpy trope kinda, he falls first, violence typical for the source material, depictions of mental illness, also she's is very smart (as she should), district twelve!reader.

a/n: this is the last part of s2!! ahh i am so excited for s3 and i hope you guys too after this part :)

my asks are also open to talk about this series! (i do have emoji anons open now too!)

send me any and all of your thoughts! here!

series masterlist // playlist

When you come to, the air is cold on your skin and it's mostly dark. You groan, feeling the sway of someone carrying you very quickly.

"Hey, love. Hey..." Coryo says, noticing you stirring in his arms. "We're almost home. Hold on, I'm gonna get you some water."

"O-okay..." You agree, reaching up to rub your eyes so you can better see where you are. It's still nighttime, and you're outside. Looking up, the stars have filled the clear sky.

Coryo looks down at you, and then up. "The stars are beautiful. You were right." He tells you and you smile.

"I know." You whisper. "I'm glad you got to see them."

"Me too."

You almost fell asleep in his arms on the way back to their house. You didn't ask why they didn't take you home- part of you didn't want to know. Every time you caught yourself trying to piece together what happened before you fainted, your heart rate increased again. It wasn't good- that was all you knew.

Sejanus opens the door and Coryo is quick to lay you in his bed, kissing you on the forehead and giving you a bottle of water before quickly leaving. You can hear him and Sejanus talking, but you can't make out what they're saying. It sounds like Sejanus is crying.

You want to get up and help, but you are just so tired. You end up falling asleep.

Coryo didn't sleep at all all night. He tried after getting Sejanus to finally go to bed he came and laid with you, but it was no use. What would they do with you? They couldn't just leave you here- whatever history you and Cole had would no doubt come to light very critically in the fallout of his death. He didn't know if anyone had seen you go in or seen you there that night. After the games, it would be so easy to point the finger at you and call you dangerous and insane.

The bottom line of his decision: he couldn't leave you behind in Twelve.

He had a tentative plan, and you didn't have much of a choice if you wanted to live, but the hard part would be convincing you to come back to the Capitol. Well, convincing your whole family to let you come back to the Capitol.

He waited as long as he could before he had to wake you up, getting up and packing all his things while Sejanus did the same. You looked so peaceful, so untouched by everything horrible that has happened to you in your short life. You didn't know he was about to ruin your life again.

Carefully, when he knew you didn't have another moment more to spare, he sat down on the edge of the bed next to you. "Y/N/N?" He whispers, placing a hand on your shoulder. "Love, you have to wake up. I'm sorry."

You hum in your sleep, rolling onto your back. Your eyes open, only slightly, and you smile. "Hi..." You mumble, trying to untangle your hands from the sheets to rub your eyes.

"Morning..." Coryo smiles slightly. You're so beautiful. It's almost easier for him to just scoop you up and bring you with him just like that- sleepy and untroubled. How he ever imagined leaving without you by his side he didn't know.

"What time is it?" You ask, voice raspy from having just woken up.

"Just past three, but we need to get moving. I'm so sorry, love."

You push yourself up, still rubbing at your eyes. "What? It's so early. What's going on?"

Coryo sighs, running a hand over his jaw. "Let's... Let's get you something to eat and then I'll explain, okay?"

You nod, yawning and he stands as you throw your legs over the side of the bed.

"Oh- oh my god." You mumble, quickly standing up from the old chair at their dining table. Coryo and Sejanus look at each other nervously.

"I didn't know that would happen, I didn't even know they were using the money to buy guns." Sejanus defends himself and you nod, hands placed over your face.

"I know." You reply, voice muffled by your hands. "I just... oh my god. I thought it was a nightmare. I thought I was just having another nightmare I-"

"I know, but it's okay. You're gonna be okay."

"His sword, death's stamp, where it did mark, it took. From face to foot he was a thing of blood, whose every motion was timed with dying cries..." You mumble to yourself, pacing now. "Deaths stamp. The reckoning."

Sejanus looks at his friend as you ramble, eyes wide.

"Y/N?" Coryo tries to grab your attention, but with how quickly you were clearly spiraling he didn't want to touch you. "None of what happened was your fault or ours. There is nothing we could have done."

"I know, I know, I know but I can't stop it either everything is falling apart and I am killing everyone and who is next?"

"No, hey, you didn't kill anyone. No one is next." He assures you quickly. "They can't charge anyone if they can't find the guns, no one can prove we were even there. We just have to act as if nothing happened."

You nod, shaking out your hands and trying to breathe. "Okay, yes. Yes." You press your hands onto your chest, clocking your heart rate. A panic attack wouldn't help. "I am having a panic attack." You state, looking toward the two of them.

Sejanus doesn't say anything, but looks quickly between you and Coryo.

"I know, love." Coryo replies. "But you're going to be okay. We're safe here, but we need to get moving so we have to relax. Okay?"

You take a deep breath in through your nose, closing your eyes. Everything is okay. You can't panic now, it will only make everything worse.

"I'm calm. I'm calm." You tell yourself, but it isn't working. Coryo chews his cheek. He still hasn't even told you that you'll need to come with them.

"What was that joke you told me? From that book?" Coryo asks, trying to distract you. "I think Sejanus would like it, would you mind telling him?"

"'I can see he is not in your good books' The messenger said," You recite mechanically. "No, and if he were I would burn my library.'" You furrow your brow, shaking your head. "No, that wasn't it. It was the one about Benedick and his horse."

"Yes, the horse." Coryo chuckles, trying to help you down. "Although, that is funny too."

"Okay, okay." You nod, taking another big gulping breath. "In our last conflict four of his five wits went halting off, and now is the whole man governed with one: so that if he have wit enough to keep himself warm, let him bear it for a difference between himself and his horse; for it is all the wealth that he hath left, to be known a reasonable creature."

You finish, and Coryo smacks Sejanus's arm when all he does is give you a confused look, trying to track what is meant to be a joke.

Sejanus looks at him and Coryo nods toward you. "Oh! That... yes, that's very funny." Sejanus chuckles nervously.

"She's saying that you can't tell him from his horse because he's just about as smart as it." You explain, knowing he wouldn't have understood. "Well, he would be if she didn't let him keep one of his wits."

And just like that, you're breathing almost normally.

"Feeling better?" Coryo asks, approaching you carefully.

You swallow and nod. "Yes. Thank you." He takes your hand in his, gently rubbing the back of it under his thumb.

"Okay, now, this is the hard part."

You had agreed through tears. The idea of even setting foot in the Capitol again almost set you off, but you made it through. You knew it would be hard, terrifying even, but you would have Coryo, and that would help.

The three of you made your way back to your house in the dark, preparing for you to pack up your whole life in order to move in a matter of hours.

You sneak inside, closing the door quietly behind the three of you.

"Just wait in the living room." You whisper. "I'll start packing."

"Y/N, honey, is that you?" Your dad's voice shocks you, and your eyes shoot over to the clock. He hadn't yet left for work.

"Pa?" You walk into the living room where he is sitting, having his morning coffee.

"What were you doing out so late? Did you have fun?" He asks, and then his eyes go past you to the boys. "Oh, hello. Can't say we were expectin' company this early. Or late, I suppose, for you guys."

Your lip starts to quiver as you walk over to the couch. "What's wrong?" Your dad frowns, eyes back on you now as he puts his coffee down quickly, reaching out to rub your arms. "Did something happen?" He looks over to the boys, but they don't dare move.

"Pa..." You cry, sitting down next to him and he pulls you into a hug.

"Honey, what happened?" He frowns, holding you close. You wouldn't see him for so long, and it was breaking your heart.

"I..." You sniff, quickly running over your agreed story. "I'm leaving."

"Leaving? You don't need to go, you're safe here, Honey..."

You look up at him, trying to smile. "Can you get Ma? I need to talk to you both." You say, chin still wobbling with tears.

"Okay, stay right here. I'll get her." He promises, getting up and patting your head.

"Can... can you guys wait outside?" You whisper and both Coryo and Sejanus quickly nod, passing you to wait out back.

"What's happening, Y/N/N?" Your mom asks, brow furrowed as she pulls her housecoat tight around herself. "Are you okay?"

You nod, swallowing as you refresh yourself on the story you came up with. Your parents sit down, all eyes on you. "I..." You start, but you can't get it out without a sob. "I have to go back to the Capitol."

"What?" Your dad asks, brow furrowed as your mom already begins to cry. "They can't take you back, you won. Fair and square, you're home now."

"They aren't." You shake your head. "Coryo helped me apply to the university there and I was accepted. Our train leaves in a few hours."

Both your parents stare at you, absolutely in shock.

"I... What?" Your father asks again and you nod.

"Yes." You laugh slightly.

"But... You can't go, where will you stay? We can't afford any kind of school or even the food there." Your father shakes his head. "I'm sorry, I know you're happy and this is amazing but... that just won't work."

You shake your head again. "No, we thought of that. I'll stay with Coryo, and he will cover my tuition." This wasn't a lie, that's how he talked you into it, in fact- though you hadn't wanted to accept.

"Look, it won't be all bad. You can come to school with us, get an education. It'll be so good for you and your family." Coryo says, holding your hands between his own. "You can stay with me, I'll pay for everything with money from the prize. You gave it to me, anyways. I owe you that much."

"I can't take that from you... I can't leave them."

"I owe it to you, love. Besides, it's not forever." He promises. "You can come visit, and we'll pay for them to get a phone installed so you can call whenever you'd like. They even have these really nice ones with cameras, we'll get you one of those."

"The school won't take me, I don't have a Capitol degree." You sniff.

"Of course they will- everyone there loves you. They know how smart you are. You'll just have to do some testing first, and then you can major in whatever you like. Even literature."

"I can?"

"Of course you can. Whatever you want to do, anything in the world."

"What are you taking?" You ask, wiping your eyes.

"Political Science."  He answers. "But you could do... art history, creative writing, journalism, anything you want, love. Hell, you could even take mathematics if that's what you want." Coryo smiles, squeezing your hands. "You'll change your family's lives, and we can be together."

"Oh, honey..." Your mother cries, pulling you into her arms.

"He said we'll get you a phone, a nice one with a camera and I can call every day." You tell them through your tears, hugging her back. "And then I'll come back for you, with my shiny new education and neither of you will ever have to work again if you don't want to."

"I... I don't know what to say." Your father admits.

You laugh slightly, leaning into your mother's arms. "I don't either... I don't know."

You laughed and cried together, but you knew you couldn't tell them why you really had to leave on such short notice. They had to be happy for you to let you go without fear. Knowing anything about the truth would put their lives at risk. You cried harder when your father had to leave for work not long later; it would be a long time before you would see him again.

"Well." Your mom takes a deep breath in after a few minutes of your father being gone. "We better get you packed." She pushes herself up, and you join her.

"Ma." You stop her as she goes to make her way to the kitchen, no doubt to put on some tea for the process.

She turns, looking at you expectantly with reddened eyes.

"Lennox is going to hate me, isn't he?"

She frowns, pulling you into another hug. "No, honey. Never." She shushes you. "He may not like it at first, but he loves you so much. He could never hate you."

"You promise?"

"Of course, honey. Don't you think on it for even a minute. He'll miss you, but we'll be waitin' on you to come home. We'll be right here." She assures you. "And we are so proud. Don't worry about us, okay?"

"Parting is such sweet sorrow." You sniff, laughing slightly against her shoulder.

"This time, it is." She chuckles. "Now, let those boys back in and we can get moving. We don't want you to miss that train."

Somehow, you managed to pack everything up without waking your brother. You don't know if that was a good thing or not.

The sun began to rise as you made your way to the train station. Sejanus hadn't said a word since you left their temporary home.

"Y/N." Coryo whispers, and you look up at him. He's carrying one of your bags along with his, while you focus on the makeshift carrier in your arms that contains your cat. "When we get up there, let me do the talking."

You just nod, swallowing back another wave of tears. The guilt you felt was immeasurable, especially now that you allowed yourself to be excited. What if you did get into their school? Your whole life was about to change, but this time, hopefully for the better. But if it was all because of the deaths of three more District kids, how dare you think it may be worth it. Even if Mayfair was vile and Billy Taupe had an insatiable habit of cheating on Lucy Gray.

Lucy Gray. You didn't even say goodbye to Lucy Gray.

She wouldn't handle his death well, you knew that. You would have to write her immediately. Maybe that's what you would do on the train.

You would miss her greatly, but she would understand. Same as your parents, she would be proud. And you'd tell her about their phone and you could call her anytime you wanted as well. It would all be okay.

The train was heavily guarded by peacekeepers- though it was likely less so than usual. All the others were probably out already searching for the guns that killed the Mayor's daughter as well as a peacekeeper. It was unlikely they cared about Billy Taupe. You wish you could have warned your family that peacekeepers may come knocking, but the less they knew the better.

When you see Lucy Gray standing back against the building, looking out seemingly for the boys, your heart feels heavier in your chest. You don't say anything to them before you run up to her. You call her name and she turns, smiling at you.

"Hi, Hun. I wanted you to come say goodbye with me but I couldn't find ya last night, you weren't home when I came by after the show or this morning. I was worried."

"Oh, sorry. I slept over at theirs." You nod back to the boys as they approach behind you.

She smiles, but something in it is sad. Her eyes are puffy, clearly she had been crying. It was about Billy Taupe, no doubt.

"Y/N, I got something to tell you." She says quietly, and you tilt your head at her. "Last night..." Her eyes well up with tears again. "Last night Billy Taupe was murdered. He was shot, at the Hob. And Cole was too. I'm so sorry."

Coryo just catches the tail end of it, stepping in next to you and carefully watching your reaction. Or, what you thought your reaction was supposed to be.

You're quickly handing your bag off to Coryo and pulling her into your arms. "Oh- I'm so sorry, Lucy Gray... I'm so sorry."

Coryo and Sejanus look at each other as she cries in your arms.

"I was mad at him... I was so mad at him and I never got to say that I'm sorry."

"I know... God, honey I'm so sorry." You rub her back as you speak, focussing purely on comforting her. You had been close with him too. You don't know if Lennox knows yet, but you know he will be devastated. Just because Billy Taupe was an awful boyfriend to her at times didn't mean he wasn't still like family. "Don't beat yourself up about it, okay? It's not your fault. He knows you love him, okay? He knows."

She sniffs and you can feel her nod against your shoulder. "Love is immortality." You tell her quietly, kissing the side of her head.

"Y/N." Coryo says, hating to interrupt but the train wouldn't wait for you.

"I know." You reply, nodding as you pull away and take her hands in yours. "Lucy Gray, I am so sorry but I have to go."

"Go?" She looks at the boys behind you and the bags they're holding, there are several more than what they had arrived with. "You're going with them?" Her voice breaks and you nod, swallowing back tears.

"Coryo helped me apply to the university and they accepted me. Classes start in a couple of weeks." You lie, you couldn't find it in your heart to tell her you were there when Billy Taupe was killed.

She looks confused, squeezing your hands tight. "I... why didn't you tell me?"

"I wanted to wait until we knew for sure. His cousin called last night and said the letter arrived, and it would have been so embarrassing if I didn't get in. I wish I could have told you sooner."

"You could tell me anything. You shouldn't have been embarrassed." She frowns, shaking her head. "I wish I had known- we could have had a goodbye party or something I just feel like you shouldn't be leaving just like this."

"It's okay, I don't need a party. You know that." You smile.

"I know." She sighs. "Well... I'm proud of you. I'm so proud of you. This is amazing."

"Thank you." You laugh slightly, realizing that the tears you were trying to hold back had started to fall. "I love you so much, I'll write you all every day and we're getting my house a phone so you'll be able to call too."

"Okay. We'll talk every day." Lucy Gray nods, sniffing. "I love you, Y/N." You give her another hug.

"It was so good to meet you, Lucy Gray. Thanks for everything." Coryo says as you let her go again. You take your bag back from him so he can hug her. "And I'm sorry about your friend..."

"Thank you... and of course, it was lovely to have some new faces here. I hope you'll come back sometime." She grins, wiping her eyes again as she pulls away.

When she looks at Sejanus who had been awfully quiet this whole time, you gently pull on Coryo's arm. "Let's give them a minute." You whisper and he nods, following you away. You can't look back, if you look at her again you aren't sure you'll be able to board the train at all.

"Excuse me." Coryo approaches the peacekeeper stationed by one of the train cars, pulling a slip of paper from his pocket. "My friend and I have tickets, back to The Capitol."

The peacekeeper takes it, looking it over. "You live there?"

"Yes, sir."

"Then why did you come to Twelve?"

"Oh, our friend Y/N lives here. We came to get her, she is coming back with us." He explains, flashing a charming smile as he looks back over at you.

"There's only two tickets here, and neither of them has her name on them."

"Yes, so, we were hoping she could just tag along. She won't take up much room."

"No. District personnel can't just go to the Capitol, you should know better."

"I do, yeah." Coryo nods. "But maybe you'd recognize her, that's Y/N Y/L/N, Victor of the tenth annual Hunger Games. I was her mentor. Under the circumstances we were hoping you'd make an exception- we haven't been able to call home about her ticket but they need her back there. It's a new thing, they want to do a Victory tour, some interviews- that kind of thing. They're trying lots of new stuff this year."

The peacekeeper looks past him and eyes you skeptically. You smile, giving a slight wave as Tybalt squirms in the carrier. "Good morning, officer. How are you?"

"What's in the bag?" He asks, returning his attention to Coryo and completely ignoring your question.

"See, she really wanted to bring her cat. Since the games he's been a real comfort to her, Dr. Gaul, head of the war department and head gamemaker, said that the cat wouldn't be an issue as long as he's kept inside. He'll be an indoor cat only, officer."

"No animals." He shakes his head. "She can go, but a cat isn't necessary cargo."

"Okay, well..." Coryo sighs, looking back at you. You can see the panic shift in his eyes. There was no time to take Tybalt home, and you weren't going to set him loose here. Either Tybalt comes, or neither of you do, and that was hardly an option.

"Here," Sejanus mumbles as he rejoins you, digging in his pocket and walking past you and up to them. "No cat." He hands the peacekeeper a wad of cash so thick that it makes your eyes widen.

The officer chuckles, tucking the money into his own pocket. "No cat." He agrees. "Enjoy your ride."

Coryo smiles at you and motions for you to join him, helping you up the stairs onto the train with a hand on your back while you take another last look at the city you love so deeply.

taglist: @soulessjourney , @that-veela-girl ,  @dreamyysouls, @rockstarbfs , @maysileeewrites , @baybieruth , @kitscutie ,  @fratboyharrysgf0201 , @totallynotkaibiased , @stelleduarte , @secretsicanthideanymore , @bejeweledreverie , @drewsandsebastianswife , @niicole-87 , @queenofshinigamis , @innercreationflower , @nallasstuff , @iovemoonyy , @thatmarvelchick19 , @wearemadeofstardust0 , @regulusblackcore , @puredreamagination , @fantasticchaosthing , @becauseseaotters , @secretsicanthideanymore , @strawberryflavouredkisses

okay suddenly tumblr isn't letting me tag more people than this so i just made some cuts unfortunately :') i just left the max amount of people i could whose users i recognized and see in my notifs all the time :) if you're not on here and you should be i'm so sorry!

also this taglist is closed now!! if you’d like to get a notification when i update, turn on my post notifications!! i promise i won’t spam y'all :,)

[deus-sema]

Disclaimer: This is the rant of a shipper who had expected a bit more combined with the concerns of an audience member who was left dissatisfied on certain fronts. It will contain both conjecture and wishful thinking.

What I genuinely liked about this season was that the performances were all par excellence and many dialogues were well written and masterfully delivered. One aspect that the finale did complete justice to was Annatar and Celebrimbor’s doomed partnership with Sauron’s ultimate betrayal culminating with the infamous Celebrimbanner. The entire season was leading up to that one last scene between them, which was flawless.

That being said, they couldn’t stick the landing with other subplots and  I might have an idea why.

A Finger In Every Pie

There were too many conflicts that needed to be addressed – if not outright resolved – by the time we reached the finale. Gandalf vs Dark Wizard, Isildur’s subplot, Numenor, Balroggate at Khazad-dûm, and Eregion, which was supposed to be the subplot driving this season. Ideally, most of these should have been resolved in the previous episodes with the finale focusing on Eregion and Khazad-dûm. Call it a side effect of having no more than eight episodes but the rest of the subplots were rushed or resolved abruptly.

The First Season: To embrace it or reject it entirely?

Some believe that the second season is an improvement from the first one but that was possible only because the first season laid the groundwork for every character, their dynamics, and the subplots, some of which paid off in S2. The risks the writers had taken with S1 were too major and there was no turning back the moment those decisions were made. Let’s make one thing clear. The opinions of that bigoted grifter gang who hate the show maliciously do not, and will never, count even the slightest bit. As far as the rest of the fans who simply chose to turn away from the show because of the liberties it took are concerned, then they cannot be appeased or wooed back. Once people make up their minds, it’s difficult to change it. What the showrunners should have done was embrace it fully as a fanfiction based on the source material and, gradually, let it evolve into its own thing The fans who liked it for what it was would stay for sure; with time, new ones will join in. Attempting to “fix” the perceived errors of the first season by divorcing the rest of the show from it isn’t going to work. Galadriel’s screentime was reduced, Bronwyn, one of the most important OCs of s1, was killed offscreen and wasn’t even afforded the dignity of a recast – if Nazanin’s desire to quit was the sole reason for this creative decision – like Adar was. Speaking of Adar, the way his arc was wrapped up was perhaps more anticlimactic than the Saurondriel showdown. Having him be betrayed and killed by the very children whom he cherished, in the same manner in which Sauron was assassinated, would have been poetic provided we had a season worth of development leading upto it. Having his protectiveness for his children turn into paranoia at the possibility of Sauron’s return, the Uruk’s discontent and disillusionment with him and Sauron preying on both to obtain his revenge on Adar would have been diabolical on his part and tragic for the Uruk because by the time they would’ve realised their folly, it would have been too late. But that didn’t happen and, just like that, another important link to the first season was severed and a subplot with immense potential was wasted. It also serves as a setback to one of the most ambitious objective the show flirted with: the humanization and a nuanced portrayal of the Orcs. It would have been one thing to have Glug be the only one to betray Adar at the last minute but all it took was two seconds for Sauron – the person whom they know doesn’t give a fuck about the Uruk and won’t think twice before torturing or killing them - to turn the lot of them against their Lord Father who had protected them until now. Sure, that makes Sauron appear super competent and Adar sympathetic but the Uruk got the shorter end of the stick. They came off looking like a bunch of gullible, bloodthirsty fools who have no integrity or loyalty and who live for carnage. The only reason why some of them started doubting Adar was because they believed he was leading them on a suicide mission chasing Sauron’s ghost. So, logically, finding out that Adar’s fears were right and Sauron – their tormentor and former oppressor – is back should have reinforced their loyalty to Adar. Instead, they all went back to square one. Adar – their representative - died. Glug - the most prominent one among them - died as well. What reason does anyone from the general audience have to care for them anymore? Rather, some would think they got what’s coming for them. Serves them right to betray poor Adar for Sauron who didn’t even have to lift a finger to manipulate them.

Much like everything else, Haladriel/Saurondriel is a child of s1 and it stands to reason that they backpedaled on it, like everything else. But I am also of the opinion that they aren’t willing to abandon it entirely yet. There is the marketing, for instance. Then, Sauron and Galadriel’s confrontation in s2 was predictable, rushed and somewhat lazily written. There are multiple ways in which it could have been improved. But he is still obsessed with her and she is still affected by him, despite hating him. From here, the writers can either grow a pair and further explore what they themselves established, that they want to emphasize on, through mind palace interactions or forced proximity – because time and distance matters not in tv world – or in any other way in the upcoming seasons or they can keep trying to appease the haters. The ball is in their court. Creatives chickening out is nothing new for shippers.

The Random Shock Value Effect

A certain show called GoT changed the landscape of television forever. No other pop culture phenomenon, save for the MCU’s Infinity Saga, came close to the craze it commanded in the last decade. Its influence on the tv shows that followed it cannot be overlooked. One aspect of it that was and still is overdone is including scenes that serve no purpose within the narrative for no other reason but momentary shock value or to ‘subvert expectations’. The Elron/driel kiss? Doing a Ser Barristan Selmy with Adar? All that isn’t going to work in the long run. It certainly didn’t for GoT.

[drconstellation]

Judgement Day

Aziraphale's Edinburgh Journey: Part 4

Aziraphale's trip to Edinburgh - and most of S2 - is filled with hints and references to the Second Coming. Once you are clued into this, they are everywhere, with some clues more obvious than others. Gabriel's statue is one of them, but it has another role as well (and it's not for hiding anything under, sorry.)

We also have a lot of references to the Freemasons in S2, particularly in Edinburgh, but you can see related symbolism elsewhere - they use some of the same symbolism used around Memento mori, and they also believe in working towards upholding values in life to be rewarded in the afterlife. Judgement Day looms large for all, not matter what their belief.

Judgment in the Tarot

Judgement is the penultimate card of the Major Arcana in the Tarot - the final card is The World, where the journey ends and everything comes together in harmony. But first, one must be summoned to their reckoning, and the past weighed up. It marks the completion of a karmic cycle; its time for renewal.

Three naked figures, a man, a woman and a child, rise out of the darkness of the underworld. Their nakedness denotes their spirituality, they have thrown off the clothes and material things of a physical life. An angel in the sky with a trumpet summons them to be reborn.

But which angel is it on the card? The book I'm favoring to do these card interpretations says its Michael. The information I have about cemetery angels (below) would indicate it to be Gabriel, who is sometimes depicted on headstones blowing a horn. Yet other lore says it's Raphael/Israfel that will blow the horn to start the Day of Judgement. And reading further, on some texts it just says it will be an archangel, they don't specify which one.

Cemetery Angels

The statue of Gabriel in the Edinburgh cemetery is an example of a cemetery angel. The type and pose of the angel is supposed to give some indication of the life that was lived. Small cherubs for children, a lily held for purity, a circular wreath for everlasting life, for example.

Gabriel's statue is doing several things at once: its wings are open, indicating its ready to take flight upwards for the resurrection, and its holding a cross. This is because this statue is a replica of one of the angels on the Ponte Sant'Angelo in Rome and they all hold something relating to the Passion. A cross is probably the most recognizable symbol of all, and instantly connected with Jesus. Everything here is pointing us to the Second Coming.

The Missing Cross

But the cross isn't there in every scene. It's been pointed out that its missing when Gabriel shows his statue to Beelzebub in the present.

This only appears to be the case when we view this scene from a distance. When we see the statue from between their shoulders, the cross is still there.

This is an inconsistent message, and casts some doubt on what its trying to tell us. Can Beelzebub see the cross or not? It can't be a demon thing, as Crowley has no problem seeing the cross in 1827. Is it instead a comment about Gabriel and Beelzebub as a pair?

There are a multitude of meanings that could be applied here around that missing cross: is it do with death and resurrection or is to do with having your sins forgiven and achieving eternal life? If its the latter, then the demons have always been excluded from that, right from the start.

Gazing in Parallel

Then there's this parallel in acts of admiration of the statue:

The very first time I watched S2 and I heard Crowley say "he probably comes here to stare at it," I knew yep, he sure does, and so he did.

Parallel pairs like this usually give us a nugget of information about the characters or story, and this one seems to be another thing pointing us to Gabriel being the peacock mentioned in the Job minisode (i.e. "Did you give wings to peacocks, Job...") An old slang definition of a peacock is "a person, especially a man, who is arrogant or likes dressing or behaving in a way that draws attention to themselves" and "a man who is very proud of his appearance and gives a lot of attention to his clothes and the way he dresses."

Let us not forget at this point that Crowley is linked to Gabriel in S2 as both a parallel and foil, and he, too, takes some pride in his appearance. But while Gabriel admires the creation that is himself, Crowley tends more to admire creations that he has had a hand in working on himself.

But there is a curious moment here that links us up with a scene from the beginning of S2, in Before the Beginning. Notice how Aziraphale looks back at Crowley as he he says Gabriel "Probably comes here to stare at it. Marveling at his own beauty."

Aziraphale has the same jealous look on his face as angel!Crowley marvels at the beauty of his newly created nebula and stars.

We have to remember that Before The Beginning was one of the last parts of S2 to be written, even though its at the start, but it includes a repeated parallel to the dates at the statue - angel!Crowley admires his creation, and Aziraphale looks a little jealous that he's not getting that same attention from Crowley.

Demons in the Mist

There is another, larger, parallel sequence that the statue plays a part in as well, and this connects us to S1, and I suspect to S3 as well. This is one of the mobius strip parallels that I sometimes talk about, where the story history repeats itself ad infinitum. Notice the misty nature of the present day scene below; this is an indication we are seeing more than two times and places at once.

It starts here, as we switch suddenly from 1827 back to present, just after Crowley is sucked down into Hell, leaving Aziraphale gazing up at the statue.

The parallel scene to this is the sushi restaurant in S1E1.

In that scene Crowley has been summoned to the cemetery to receive the antichrist and start Armageddon. He was supposed to be on a date with Aziraphale at the sushi restaurant, but Gabriel turns up instead, on the other side of Aziraphale - the same side the statue is on in S2.

Next, there are two demons. The first time, Crowley was summoned to meet with Hastur and Ligur to start Armageddon. Only this time, in S2, its Aziraphale talking to the demons, not Crowley.

We have an indication that the Scottish pair are demon-related with the taller one having a misspelled tattoo on his forehead (and aren't there many stories of badly spelled tattoos?)

I think they also roughly match the height and size of Hastur and Ligur, too. And it's the Ligur-parallel that offers his phone - just like its Ligur that chats to Michael on the back channels that don't exist in S1.

Free phone call? Not a problem. It's been pointed out that when Crowley hangs up the phone handset in S1 after calling Aziraphale you can hear a coin falling into the coin return box - apparently there was a thing done in the old days of leaving some change in the coin return for people who didn't have any money and needed to make a call; a kindness for strangers, if you will. So it's not a worry that there is no credit on the phone when Aziraphale needs to make the call.

Lastly, we have some S3 foreshadowing, because this an Aziraphale scene and he connects us with the future. The old phone is looking worn and tatty, with the Union Jack on it, a sign of the Empire that is slowly fading, and is well past its peak. After he hands it back with a blessing, it looks renewed, with the St Andrews Cross of Scotland on it. I might live on the other side of the world from the UK but even I'm aware of the political debate around Scottish independence that has been ongoing for, well, many years now.

I can't help thinking we are going to see a parallel to this scene in S3 as well, with Aziraphale demanding some form communication from Hell or some demons for which he does "ask nicely" about. This is all working towards a change in the way the authoritative structure works for the angels and demons (the death and rebirth theme.)

Masonic Symbols

We are alerted to the presence of the Masons when Aziraphale does his detective cosplay and speaks to the barman in the Resurrectionist pub. If you are quick, you can also notice the square and compass symbol on the windows next to the pub as Aziraphale approaches, although most of us are looking at Jesus on the sign (and a reminder that we are looking out of a deliberate copy of the Eastern Gate of Eden here on the sign, too, into the deserted distance.)

The square and compass are a reminder of balance - the square at the bottom is about honesty and integrity, and the compass at the top represents wisdom and keeping one's desires within reach.

But why are we looking at Masons? I think this is because they represent a similar but different alternative to the Abrahamic religions the Good Omens AU is built around - they believe in a Supreme Being (God) and they believe in upholding certain virtues and doing good deeds in life so that they will be rewarded in the afterlife, and that there is an eternal afterlife; they just don't believe in going about it in the same way the church does.* The Catholic church doesn't allow one to be a Mason and a member of the church at the same time because of this clash in ideologies.

The other thing to note about Masons, is that Masons wear black tie evening dress to their Lodge meetings, like the corpse in the next image below. The barman in the present even says to Aziraphale "It's the first time I've seen one in a fancy grey suit, though." This is a big Clue - but you all missed it, because you latched on to the fancy grey suit part of the sentence that screamed "GABRIEL WAS HERE!!" at you and didn't hear the silent part that the barman was saying - that the other person that was with Gabriel was wearing a black suit.

Hello? Anyone paying attention here? No? Just me shouting into the void...right, well, carry on then.

We see three dead bodies in the Resurrectionists minisode, much like the three bodies on the Tarot card for Judgement. The first is this Mason, clearly identified by the apron he is wearing (the other two bodies are a priest and wee Morag.) The decoration on it would indicate what rank or degree of mastery he held within his lodge. The background was always white, for purity.

Coffins were a reminder that one day every one would die and return to dust. They were also a sign of leaving their previous life behind from before they joined the Masons and taking on their Masonic duties.

Skulls and cross bones were part of Memento mori - reminders that life was short. They also appeared on Mason tracer boards.

The hourglass was a particularly special symbol. While it, too, was a reminder that life was finite, it was also a reminder that life and death was a cycle. By turning the hourglass over, one started the cycle again. This also demonstrated the need at times for one to turn one's thoughts and actions around on their journey through life.

It was also a reminder that time was the great equalizer - it didn't matter your station in life, time always moved forward, and death would come for us all.

Onward to Part 5, dear readers! Time to see if we really know where we're going with all this!

Thanks once again to @vidavalor for pointing out the parallel between the statue of Gabriel and the sushi restaurant in S1, where Crowley is pulled away by Hell both times and Gabriel appears on Aziraphale's right.

@kimberleyjean has also put together a collection of all the infinity loops and mobius strip references in GO here.

*I'm not sure what it was like in other countries, but I know in Australia during the mid 20th century to get anywhere in certain jobs and industries you either had to be a Catholic or a Mason. Without the backing of one of those organizations you wouldn't get far. My grandfather was a Mason, but not religious, and consequently rose quite high in the government dept he worked for - took me a long time to put all those pieces together, because it was never talked about in my family. I just knew he went to Lodge. It was only listening to some podcasts about history that I was able to work it out.

The other posts in this series can be found here:

Part 1: Detective Aziraphale Part 2: Aziraphale-Beelzebub Parallels Part 3: Stocktaking in the Basement Part 5: I Know Where I'm Going

[beevean]

Seeing as how the nocturne s2 trailer just dropped I figured I’d ask something I’m a bit curious about

If season 3+4 of the original show ended up following the plot of curse of darkness do you think it could have done that story justice or turned out much better than what we got? With the characterization of Hector and Isaac in season 2 of the show it would have diverged anyways, but it’s interesting to think about.

I just know a lot of critics of the show point out that there was already a story to tell after the events of cv3, but if they’d gone that route would it really have been what Curse fans wanted anyways?

I think this question should be asked to the fans who were following the development of the show in real time lol, because poor things clearly had hope until S4 😂 I remember reading posts of people who were absolutely certain that Hector's story would have ended with him going on a rampage, killing Carmilla and Lenore, running away and meeting Rosaly for his happy ending.

I don't think their characterizations back then would have been an issue. Yes, show Isaac is far calmer and more introspective, but his only personality in S2 is "Dracula simp who thinks Hector is shit under his shoe", which tracks although he's less fun about it. Yes, show Hector is more mellow and trusting, but he was still perfect material for a character arc revolving around him learning empathy for his fellow humans, and learning to think for himself and deciding what he truly wants to do in life, which is more or less his arc in the prequels.

See, the issue is that S2's finale already diverged from CoD's set up. Isaac being yeeted away while stewing in anger? Yes, that could have lead to his descent into madness: I suspect the writers reversed this arc when they realized how... unfortunate it'd look, with their new shiny Isaac. But were they less cowards, sure, I can see Isaac losing his self-important veneer and becoming increasingly unhinged. Maybe his red hair would grow to symbolize it!

But Hector ends S2 tricked, humiliated, beaten and dragged away as a prisoner. A sheer contrast to how, in canon, he ran away after claiming agency. Carmilla's very existence throws a wrench into CoD's story, because the prequels were all about Hector understanding that working for Dracula is wrong, while S2 was all about Carmilla being the only braincell in the castle and dragging Hector along like a dog to cause Dracula's downfall. Had Hector freed himself from her clutches in S3, we could have still had an interesting story maybe (I'm fond of the Hectorcard plot of him running back to the castle and bonding with Alucard over their grief lol), but I'm not sure how this Hector, a Hector who is wracked with guilt over contributing to Dracula's death, one that is so insecure and hasn't spoken with a human being in years (Isaac doesn't count), would fare with a woman who is meant to be a stand-in for Rosaly (because no way they'd write her as the Rosaly we know: we all know how much the show loves its sassy mean women). Plus, the story would be poorer because Carmilla would be just. lost. which is technically what happens in S3 already lmao Lenore snatches her place - you know what I mean

Therefore, the rewrite has to start even before S3. @chumpovodir once had a great idea about how she'd keep Hector and Isaac as the villains of the story and how the plotbeats of CoD could be shoehorned into the show. Another wonderful alternative comes from @notebookofthedead, that also tries to meet the show halfway through, and even includes a fusion of Rosaly and Julia as Hector's new ally and the spark for his character development lol.

[quidfree]

accidentally deleted this ask but for the anon asking what my gripes were with iwtv’s finale / this season:

look i love this show. ive never read the books* and i thoroughly enjoyed the one time i watched the movie mostly bc of tom cruise and kirsten dunst acting circles around bradd pitt. the show to me really elevates the material, it has phenomenal writing, the acting is obviously stellar, i think it does a great job at being that dark gothic romance that is both deeply tragic and fucked up and funny etc etc.

a key element of the adaptation is evidently that they have recontexualised the characters in ways that both add depth and nuance to them. when we meet him louis is a black gay man in a deeply racist and homophobic setting who hardens himself to survive and rise above as much as he can. claudia is a young black woman who has always faced societal violence and neglect because of this. armand’s whole arc as an exploited and fetishised child whose trauma has become his identity is also encased in colonial violence. i’m not from the communities they are so i can’t speak for everyone, but i think for the most part the show is pretty good at having these changes enrich the show and acknowledge what an impact this has on dynamics and the characters. s1 explicitly addresses how lestat handwaves away the racism louis experiences as something he can just overcome because he’s a vampire now, how lestat himself plays into racist imbalances of power in his patriarchal relationship in their home esp wrt claudia, how he goes to capture claudia on the train being portrayed to echo a slave-catcher, etc. s2 has the trial obviously set up like a lynching (claudia says so much herself), with lestat’s testimony framing the two black people he abused as the aggressors and himself as the victim, and even when lestat is genuinely apologetic and remorseful it’s because he’s allowed his tears and victimhood while louis and claudia are not. all this to say there is obviously lot of conscious thought that goes into the way the characters’ races feed into the show and the story and it oftentimes is very effective, as well as aware of audience perceptions of the characters and how the irl audience’s own biases might need addressing.

unfortunately for me there are two aspects of s2 that i feel are kind of outliers in this regard, and not in a way that makes sense/feels intentionally uncomfortable to me. 1) is madeline’s backstory, and 2) is the change of having armand actually have been plotting to murder both louis and claudia at the trial, and lestat have been the one to save louis.

1) to me is just really… weird. i feel like i know why they wrote her that way. it makes madeline a ~morally grey character~ by default so she fits in with the rest of the cast, and there is an element to the very real misogynistic vitriol and violence post-ww2 directed at french women even falsely accused of having slept with the invading nazi occupiers that feels very in line with the things the show likes to examine and point to as examples of plain old human barbarism and othering. but the way they present it in the show, unquestioned, not as a dubious survival tactic or a multi-faceted situation but an actual love story that madeline has no remorse for, is very off-putting to me. madeline is not louis and claudia who ignore the atrocities of the war because those are human affairs and they are no longer human but supernatural monsters. madeline is a normal person whose peers- jewish people, queer people (surely her own community), political dissidents of any kind- have been put down like dogs throughout the occupation, sent to prison camps at best and death camps at worst, and she never even has a line of dialogue addressing conflicting feelings about this? no one ever challenges her on it? the people painting nazi symbols on her shop are consistently framed as villainous? it just feels weird to me that claudia’s “weird white lady” has this saccharine romance with her, a black woman, without the show ever exploring any friction in that dynamic given madeline’s apparently uncomplicated nazi romance. madeline being a femme tondue is a great idea, but the execution leaves to be desired imo.

2) … oh boy. i feel like i’m wading into discourse here bc i’ve seen really confrontational takes on this, esp a lot of “responses to” people who didn’t like this change, where this is presented as those people being dumb babies who are blinded by their liking of armand and don’t Understand The Show. im sure there are those of which this is true (and ppl have explained better than me how antiblackness feeds into everyone jumping into ship wars and defense of louis’ abusive partners in general) but also it feels very reductive of some valid questions people have. people can argue the change is consistent with armand’s characterisation, which, sure, even though i feel like it feels a little flimsy / contradictory for armand to finally Choose The Coven and allow for them to execute louis but then go feed him blood and allow him to revenge-kill all of them immediately afterwards, etc. i don’t mind characters being More Evil on the Evil Vampire show.

my bigger question is why this change was made. bc my sense is that the change is less about armand than it is about lestat, and specifically setting the stage for the loustat reconciliation, and i do not love that. it’s one thing to make it so armand wanted to kill louis too, just for the extra drama of daniel’s reveal and scale of his betrayal, another push for louis to leave. it’s another to make it so lestat was the heroic captive who not only was forced to be there by armand as per but also bravely exerted the limits of his strength to save louis from execution and then nobly didn’t tell him about this. these are both monstrous vampires who have abused and betrayed louis in their own ways (armand has already orchestrated claudia’s death and kept louis in a purportedly protective mind prison for decades! that’s betrayal enough! you could even have armand originally want to kill louis too and then change his mind!), so why at this juncture choose to have lestat save louis in a move that was originally armand’s? just from the way the audience (fandom and casual watchers) is reacting it makes me wonder if the showrunners were just oblivious to how much this worsens people’s takes of armand (the brown man) being the “real villain” and lestat (the white man) being the redeemed self-sacrificing figure. i’m sure people will say this is placing too much weight on race blah blah blah but it was so jarring to me and the change in viewer attitudes so immediate that it left a really bad taste in my mouth.

inb4 the inevitable: i actually really liked the loustat reunion in the finale! i don’t hate loustat! i like all of the dynamics between all of the characters, albeit my favourite louis ship is louis x therapy (an obvious inference from my favourite character being daniel lmao). this is not a change that i hate because i’m a bitter lestat hater. i have no issue with armand doing bad things, episode 5 was my favourite episode! i just think this particular choice was weird, and felt kind of thoughtless in the service of speedrunning a lestat hero role in advance of his season.

i have other less tangential complaints but overall i think this is a great season of television. these are just two points that stood out to me as being handled with less grace than i expect of iwtv.

*i just started reading the first book today on the airplane so. we’ll see how that goes. book loustat is so funny compared to the show. book 1 louis hates his ass 😭

[uncleasad]

Thinking about some of the material presented by my esteemed colleague @unsiredtribrid, Distinguished Professor of Gemini Coven Studies, in past lectures…

As things stand right now in canon, there’s technically only one living Gemini witch, Josie, and the Gemini Coven has been in this weird limbo state since its last leader died (as did all the living members) when Kai killed himself, before the twins were born.

(Leaving aside the question of what Kai’s final death by decapitation at the hands of Alaric in 2x13 might have meant…)

What does it mean for the Coven when there’s only one Gemini witch, and there isn’t a twin to merge with on her 22nd birthday? Does the Coven cease to exist? Does Josie then die because there’s not a new leader anointed via a Merge when she turns 22?

But there hasn’t been a leader of the Coven for the past 17+ (per canon timeline, such as it is already) years. Obviously, if Lizzie had lived, they would have performed The Merge and anointed the new person their merged consciousnesses had become as leader, and presumably begun repopulating the Coven by having children.

(That also looks past the idea that the Coven that was so desperate to continue its lineage that it had a womb transfer spell on hand to use to transfer the unborn Josie and Lizzie to Caroline—a vampire! So what if, despite its inculcated hatred of siphons, as a last resort, the Coven’s magic was prepared to consider a twin who still had magic although she was dead, still a valid candidate for the Merge? [Again, there’s the odd precedent of Kai—was he still a Gemini after killing himself? The whole point of his merging and then killing himself—well, one of the points, the other being to get rid of all the others—was to wield all of the Coven’s magic as a vampire-witch hybrid.])

All of this is fine and normal musings…

But then my brain got involved…and we all know what that means 😳

I ended up with an idea where the Gemini magic forcibly rips Josie apart, into her light and dark sides, and Josie and Dark Josie are then forced to Merge, to satisfy the requirement of performance of the ritual and anointing of a new Coven leader, and to keep the Coven alive.

[Never mind the fact there was only one twin and one set of magic to begin with in this scenario, and that the Merge would effectively only reunify the power it had previously ripped apart…and I guess create a “new” Josie who was a different blend of Josie and Dark Josie than Josie herself had created after S2…but who are we to let logic get in the way of interesting plot ideas?! 😂]

But if the Coven and its Magic were willing to go to such great ends before to ensure its survival, including the continued production of twins by Joshua and his wife to allow them to bypass Kai and Jo, what’s not to say something like this is possible? 😂

[sarasade]

On Claudia, Viren, Aaravos & Claudia's Character Arc

This post is mostly about Claudia's character development or should I say character deterioration.

It's highly likely that Callum will be the one to take down Aaravos- like it all goes back to Harrow's letter in s2 and chains of history and the themes of free will vs destiny and such. Aaravos possessing Callum is all about that. He's literally taking control of Callum's faith. There is clear antagonism there that's in a direct conflict with who Callum is.

But at the same time Claudia is the one who's got the biggest personal beef with Aaravos. He exploited her grief, manipulated her and used her father to accomplish his own goals. If Aaravos didn't exist Claudia wouldn't have spent two years of her life in a complete stagnation waiting for her dad to come back from the dead instead of moving on. It seems like Aaravos has been molding Claudia into his personal minion through dark magic during the time skip as well.

Taking this into account it would be really satisfying to see Claudia snap out of it and take her revenge. Characters having a personal connection to the villain always makes a story's climax more gripping. More personal the better! And everything between Aaravos and Claudia is VERY personal.

That's why Viren worked so well as a foil to Callum and Ezran in s 1-3. Especially Ezran whose rightful place as the king he tried to take. He was basically their shitty, power hungry uncle who turned against them. Side note but if Viren is still alive I hope he makes a return as Ezran's foil.

Claudia helping to take down Aaravos would be emotionally satisfying. All the elements for that are already there. Of course Claudia should come to some kind of realisation about the way she's been used by Aaravos before she can take that turn. I doubt the show's got the time for that but it's an interesting possibility to think about.

I really like how the plot around Aaravos manipulating Claudia is done. Even Claudia's own father didn't do anything to prevent it from happening although all the signs of Aaravos having sinister plans for Claudia were there from the beginning: Aaravos calling Claudia "an asset" and encouraging Viren to lie to her in s3 therefore enabling Viren's worst impulses while also using them to his benefit. It's SO EVIL (and I love it). Viren isn't that much better since he always had some kind of excuse to ignore the red flags. At this point of TDP's run I'm convinced that Runaan's "Faith worse than death" line about Aaravos' mirror is finally paying off. It means that the consequences of Viren's actions have hurt Claudia, the only person Viren loves unconditionally, in an unfathomable way.

I think Claudia's arc is relatively subtle and very well done. It balances between Claudia being a victim of manipulation and neglect while also giving her agency to influence the plot as a whole. My only complaint is that Lost Child short story should have been implemented in the show itself and not just be extra material. I have some other grievances but those are mostly fandom related.

How some fans, especially in YouTube reviews, talk about Claudia's downfall like it was inevitable because she's always been fucked up or talking about how "trauma isn't an excuse for bad behaviour" is strange to me. Like, yeah, it isn't an excuse but it's simply just bad media analysis to instantly jump into condemning Claudia's actions, like she's a real person who uses trauma as an excuse to hurt other real people, instead of seeing it in the terms of a character study. Claudia clearly uses trauma to convince herself that what she's doing is right but never tries to manipulate anyone else by using it as an excuse. Think about her and Terry for example: she usually refuses Terry's help instead of trying to garner sympathy from him. This character trait is one of the many reasons why she felt obligated to keep her family together as well. She's extremely stubborn and not very self-conscious about her trauma brain but she does understand why others would see her actions as objectionable. I think this character type (usually a woman) has been given the playful nickname "trauma bitch" in the internet lexicon. Anyway god forbid if we actually empathise, reflect on and engage with unpleasant or problematic characters instead of instantly condemning them.

TDP is about how people can always CHOOSE a different path. Viren's dark magic hallucination in season 5 stated this very clearly.

In Claudia's case it's more interesting to think about WHY she DOESN'T choose differently. That's where all the meat of her character writing lies.

Claudia's arc is what happens when the desperate actions of someone motivated by trauma around abandonment are taken to their logical conclusion in this fantasy setting. It's a fictional story, it has metaphors and shit. Fantasy genre has used necromancy and extending one's life by magical means as a story element to explore humanity's relationship to death many times. The metaphor for loss and regret basically writes itself. Ursula Le Guin has used this trope in The Earthsea books, Peter S. Beagle's The Last Unicorn has done it etc. Everything can't be a one to one comparison to real life (trauma rarely makes you want to kill your friends with dark magic irl. idk that's just me though) and there needs to be a level of abstraction involved in a fantasy story. Abstraction and metaphor, paradoxically, can reveal a greater truth about the world. (I'm probably accidentally quoting someone here but can't remember who.)

Anyway the rest is great. When you think of it all for a moment it's pretty fucked up how Claudia has been used by Aaravos. It's not some tiny part of Caludia's story. It IS her story. And Viren set that norm for her. Viren too has abused Claudia's trust. It's a complex subject and probably requires its own post since Viren, Soren and Claudia's situation reflects some pretty realistic dynamics real life troubled families have. That's why the characters compliment each other's stories so well. Viren is a more realistic character after all when Aaravos is more over the top and symbolic and less of a real person. Aaravos is one of those villains who embodies the opposing ideology of the heros. We (still) don't know almost anything personal about him so he matters mostly in relation to other characters.

Thanks for reading this Claudia propaganda! I've had so many of these in the drafts. Anyway TL;DR

[markantonys]

Gonna be a hater for 2 seconds, but if they can push the Harfoots storyline into the 2nd Age, surely they can push for a corrupted Elf storyline as well, someone who survived both Morgoth and Sauron, we don't even know his name yet, they can't already take him away :(

adar truly is one of the most fascinating and complicated characters in the show, i'd hate to lose him so soon! i want to keep peeling back the layers of that onion man! but if he loses the orcs in 2x08, i am somewhat hard-pressed to think of what story could still be left to tell with him in the present day, unless he were to embark on a redemption arc & allying with the heroes. which is not out of the question - i've heard talk from Source Material Knowers that it's plausible or even canon that some orcs fought on the side of the light in the big final battle of this age? so it'd be neat if a redeemed adar led a light-side faction of orcs in the final battle in season 5! however, i keep seeing people say the showrunners said the final scene of s2 mirrors the first scene of s2, and i've never seen the source for that info so idk if it's true that they said that, but if is............well, then it does NOT bode well for our boy (on the other hand, if you say "mirror to the opening scene" then every single person who has seen the opening scene will immediately think "adar dying at the hands of the orcs", so if that truly is what happens, why on earth would they have made such a spoilery comment that would so easily lead people to guessing that?)

anyway, these are the paths i can think of atm:

sauron takes full control of the orcs in 2x08 and adar dies

sauron takes full control of the orcs in 2x08 but adar survives and will embark on a redemption arc

sauron does not take control of the orcs in 2x08, but they abandon adar (who could either die, or survive and embark on a redemption arc) and are leaderless going into s3

some kind of orc schism where some remain with a surviving adar (who will embark on a redemption arc with them) but another faction led by glug go off to join sauron (whether right now or in s3 after being leaderless for a while)

adar doesn't lose any orcs quite yet, but their trust in him is majorly damaged and s3 will see a bigger storyline of sauron manipulating them over to his side

wildcard path: adar is celeborn ayyyy you never know okay?

the big deciding factors are a) will sauron have any time in his 2x08 schedule to get the orcs on his side, or is he too booked and that will be held as a bigger slow-manipulation storyline for a future season? b) will we see orcs ultimately end up on both sides of the brewing war or will they all join sauron? c) once sauron gets the orcs, can there be any story left for adar or does he have to exit when that happens?

the reason i added "redemption arc" onto every scenario of adar surviving and having lost some orcs is that i'm just not sure how much longer they could keep up this "third party antagonist of both the main protagonists and the main antagonist" vibe once he's lost some/all orcs to sauron. if he were to suffer a big loss but survive into s3, i'd imagine there would have to be a status quo shakeup big enough to generate more story for him, and the most obvious one i can think of is him finding himself needing to ally with the heroes for real.

as for the harfoots, i'll admit they're the storyline i'm least interested in, but i feel very protective of them because of how much hate they get! they DO serve an important and unique story function - being the breath of light and hope and naivety and innocence amidst all the heaviness and darkness in the other storylines. being the Normal People rising to the occasion and becoming heroes by choice, as opposed to all the legendary figures who were born with great power/influence. they are so thematically important! and i'm sure they'll get intertwined with the main storylines in future seasons and start gelling better with the rest of the story.

[perhaps-in-anotherdream]

[CN] Victor x MC – S2 CH 46 (Eng Translation - Part 1)

“All I know is that I really want to see her.”

“The moment I heard him speak, I felt as if a soft voice in my mind was whispering to me, reassuring me that it was okay not to be so strong right now.”

⌚ This post contains detailed spoilers for a chapter that is yet to be released on the global server. ⌚

•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•

[Notes from Anika]: I’m currently working on adding subtitles to the chapter, so I’ll save myself the hassle of adding many sprites, and probably will be skipping on adding notes for voice acting too, otherwise I’d have to do it for every line he says ahah-  ಥ﹏ಥ

—

【CH 45-1, Victor part】

[Note]: The first part is the continuation of S2 CH 42-15, where it was shown that Victor and Kiro had met up in Paris. Another important segment of Victor’s “taking care of everything” before the inevitable happened. (TдT)

—

Half a month ago, in Paris.

The patter of raindrops falls rhythmically on the glass windows, accompanied by the melodious tune from the vinyl record.

As if treading on the beats, the door of the room is pushed open. A dazzling blond figure appears at the entrance.

Kiro’s gaze sweeps over the figures in the shadows of the room before finally landing straight on Victor, who is sitting in the center.

Kiro: The BOSS specially arranged a meeting with me at a secret location in Paris. So, I guess there must be an important matter to discuss.

As Kiro speaks, he walks directly to the seat opposite Victor and sits down, slightly raising his chin.

Kiro: Well, let’s begin.

Victor: I only have one thing to announce.

Victor’s gaze briefly intersects with Kiro’s, but soon shifts towards the figures in the dark corners.

Victor: Starting today, he will be the new BOSS of BS.

Victor’s deep voice resonates throughout the room, eliciting a collective gasp of astonishment.

The conference room lapses into a deathly silence, and no one utters a word. The bewildered and uncertain gazes of those lurking in the shadows silently exchange their thoughts.

Even in Kiro’s own eyes, a subtle hint of being astounded passes by, almost imperceptible.

But he quickly suppresses it, as if entering a state, and immediately displays a smile that says, “as expected.”

Hades: Since when did a test subject become worthy of being the BOSS?

Hades’s voice breaks the silence. He is the first to step out of the shadows, confronting Victor and Kiro directly.

Hades: Such a loser has no right to dictate and interfere with us.

Kiro: …

Kiro lifts his eyes, and within his radiant golden eyes, a smile filled with arrogance can be seen.

Kiro: Regarding this matter, you have no authority to intervene.

—

[Note]: From here onwards, we’re back to the present day, i.e., following the days after S2 CH 44~ do note that it’s been 15 days since the lantern festival of CH 44, but when MC says “two months” later, she is referring to all the events that took place before, minus the moments spent with Victor (TдT)

—

The early morning sunlight spills onto the desk covered with scattered documents.

Since Chen Hui was taken away by the city hall, the investigation has temporarily reached a conclusion. The company’s files and materials that were previously seized are gradually being returned.

However, following this, there has been an overwhelming influx of various government approvals and media interview articles.

The consecutive and complex tasks for over two months have been suffocating, leaving me gasping for air. I can only find small moments to do ordinary work in between and relieve stress.

I shake my hands vigorously as I prepare to submit the proposal to LFG, sighing subconsciously.

Anna: Haven’t all the issues been resolved? Why are you still heaving deep sighs?

MC: There are still so many formalities to be completed; just the thought of it gives me a headache.

MC: Luckily, all the relevant documents for the redevelopment plan have been retrieved, so it won’t affect the subsequent regular work.

MC: The several projects that were temporarily put on hold during the investigation can now be resumed. Anna, I appreciate your hard work in following up on them.

Anna: Don’t worry, I’ll take care of these things. And as for you, have you forgotten about the medical check-up again?

It’s only when Anna mentions it that I remember. The company’s annual medical examination deadline is approaching, and we’ve recently organized a round of group check-ups for everyone.

I didn’t participate in the medical check-up at that time because I was busy with the Chen Hui issue. After returning from the Lantern Festival, I remained holed up in the office dealing with various matters, and now the time has flown by.

Lantern Festival… as the two words inadvertently pop into my head, a series of gentle waves spreads in my heart. I don’t know why, but I have a feeling that I’ve forgotten something very important.

Anna: What’s on your mind, MC? Remember to make an appointment.

MC: …hmm, okay. I promise to go for the medical check-up once I’m done with my tasks! Right now, I’m heading to LFG for a routine report.

Anna: Isn’t the routine report to LFG always sent electronically?

I look at Anna in puzzlement, only to see an even more bewildered look on her face.

MC: Electronically?

I’m stumped momentarily, feeling like something has fleetingly passed through my mind, but I can’t grab hold of it.

Yeah, that’s right. Of course! It has always been the practice to submit electronic documents. How could I even forget about this?

Ever since receiving investment from LFG, all the major decisions have been conducted through online communication, with e-mail approvals, and the number of actual visits to LFG in person has been few and far between.

A familiar sense of dissonance suddenly surges within me, as if a vital part has been wiped away from my life in a mere moment, leaving no trace behind.

Perhaps noticing my unsettling expression, Anna pats me on the shoulder.

Anna: I told you that you’re too tired. Go back early today and get some rest.

I nod my head and sit back down in my seat, then proceed to open the emails on my desktop.

Indeed, the email contains the routine report for LFG, and reviewing the email history, I can see that it has always been sent as electronic manuscripts to LFG in the past.

Could it be that the delay has caused a memory bias? I shake my head. After briefly checking the document, I click the “send” button.

With the end of the workday drawing near, I set aside the lingering unsettling feeling for now and prepare to go home early and rest.

—

•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•

—

【CH 46-1, Victor part】

As is usual LOL, through various twists and turns, following the events of the prev. CH, MC finds herself being engulfed by a strong force and ends up in the familiar white desert—

The event MC gets flashbacks of is the white desert scene of S2 CH 37 and meeting a Victor with no memories. But since Victor is erased from everyone’s memories now, the details are blurred for MC even though she desperately tries to recall~ (TдT)

—

MC: This place…

Before my eyes stretches an endless expanse of pure white desert, blending seamlessly with the distant horizon.

Waves of heat surge towards me, causing a thin sheen of sweat to form on my forehead, unbeknownst to me.

A sense of déjà vu at the sight makes me freeze in place––

I have been here before.

I feel as if a comet is reversing above my head, taking me back to that chaotic and disorderly space-time overlap incident.

Back then, after Shaw and I mistakenly stepped on that glowing boundary line, I inexplicably found myself falling into this eerie white desert.

MC: That’s right… I had walked here for a long time…

MC: And then, I… huh?

How did I eventually return to Loveland City?

?? (little boy, in flashback): Don’t waste your breath.

?? (little boy, in flashback): You had just fallen into a disordered space. If it weren’t for the CORE on you, I wouldn’t have been able to locate you among countless intricate dimensions.

Ah, yes. Afterward, I was taken out of the desert by that mysterious person from the Black Cabin.

MC: …no, that’s not right.

As if to deny my own memories, I practically cry out.

MC: [yelling]  NO!!

Before returning to Loveland City, I had clearly met someone in this desert.

Furthermore, that person should be someone really important to me.

Swirling in the rising heat, a blurry figure emerges in the distant horizon, but it only manifests for a mere second before abruptly dissipating.

It feels as though both the blazing sun and the illusion are jeering at me. If that person is so important to me, why is my memory failing me?

Lost in thought, I stand amidst the deadly silence of the sand dunes, the grains beneath my feet slowly swallowing my ankles, as if quietly trying to drag me into the sea of sand.

—

MC wearily walks through the desert, trying to find a way out. Finally, she finds a totem, and upon touching it, she is taken out of this dimension and into ruins, where she meets Shaw cue. Shaw’s part in the update~

—

•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•

—

【CH 46-8】

[Anika’s Notes]: One thing I want to mention before starting, throughout the entire chapter, Victor is referred as “男人” (man) while his character is defined as “Others,” unlike how his name would’ve been shown as 李泽言  (Li Zeyan) had this whole oblivion thing not happened. I’ve already wailed over it in my twitter thread, so not gonna do that again LOL. I will, however, write his name as “Man (Victor).” Otherwise, I don’t think I’ll be able to do this shit–– （ ꐦꉺωꉺ)つ)`Д˚)꘎༄ؘ 

—

After parting ways with Shaw, and in the plane on her way to Loveland City—

 —

After being away for two days, the unread messages and e-mails have piled up like a mountain. As I quickly scroll down with my finger, I happen to tap on a message that has already been read.

“——Hello, Miss MC. Thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule to attend tonight’s networking event. I will be at the venue on the cruise ship, and I sincerely look forward to your presence…”

I blink my eyes, and then it dawns on me that a few days ago, I did receive an invitation from a business partner.

MC: Oh, yes! I almost forgot about this... Luckily, I can still make it in time.

After confirming the time for the evening cruise event, I quickly respond to several messages from my business partners. It’s only after hearing the broadcast reminder to turn off the devices that I finally put my phone down.

The past few days have been filled with such diverse and bizarre experiences that when I close my eyes, images of what I saw in the ruins flash through my mind.

Who exactly was that blurry figure? Why were there so many identical figures around that person?

And what is the connection between those overlapping points of light and the heart of the world...

Lost in my thoughts, I unconsciously sketch out that pattern in my mind. Inexplicably, a familiar warmth gradually begins to well up within me.

Unwittingly, my palm curls up, and a sudden surge of power sweeps over me. Before I can even react, everything before my eyes starts spinning.

The soft seat behind me abruptly vanishes, leaving me without anything to lean on. Caught off guard, I take a few steps back.

Suddenly, my feet sink into softness, as if I have stepped onto a sandy terrain.

MC: Why am I here again––?!

Unlike the calm and tranquil white desert from before, the quicksand this time is exceptionally swift and violent. Before I can even let out a cry of alarm, it engulfs my calves.

I quickly lift my leg, attempting to free my feet from the quicksand. However, with the slightest movement, my body begins to uncontrollably sink further. In a matter of seconds, it has already reached my knees.

MC: …I’m done for!

The image of being swallowed by the quicksand races through my mind, and I instinctively struggle, but the sinking speed only accelerates.

?? (Victor): Stop flailing about.

In the next second, a deep voice suddenly reaches my ears.

I restrain my instinct to struggle and cease my movements, listening as the voice resounds once again.

?? (Victor): Now, lie down on your back and keep your body flat.

MC: …b-but I’ll end up sinking if I do that!

?? (Victor): If you continue like this, you will only sink faster.

The other party’s voice is not sharp, yet it inexplicably makes one want to have faith in the person.

Gritting my teeth, I fight back my fear and gradually lay down in the quicksand behind me. The warm grains of sand slowly surge up, almost drowning my ears, until they finally come to a halt.

Just as I breathe a sigh of relief and try to clearly see the source of the voice, the surroundings are suddenly engulfed in a swirling sandstorm.

The moment I try to speak, dust fills my mouth, making it difficult to breathe. I struggle to lower my head and suddenly feel a strong hand gripping my wrist.

?? (Victor): [incomparably anxious]  Hold on to me tightly!

Even though I can’t see the other person’s face clearly, I instinctively hold onto his hand, reminiscent of clinging to the last piece of driftwood, and slowly shift my body.

The wind and sand brush against my face, leaving a sensation of pain akin to being cut by a sharp blade, which only intensifies the anguish in my heart.

If this continues, we will both be swallowed by the quicksand. What else can we possibly do…

As I struggle, the power within me seems to respond to my will to survive, burning fervidly in my chest.

It seems to have an impact as the surrounding sandstorm abruptly weakens a little. The hand gripping mine exerts a sudden force, pulling me out of the whirlpool in an instant.

I fall to my knees in exhaustion and apply all my strength to get back on my feet, only to find that my hands and legs have gone limp.

I can only gasp for breath, allowing uncontrollable tears to roll down my eyes. It takes me a while before I lift my head in lingering apprehension.

MC: [crying]  Th-thank you… 

Through the blur of tears, I find myself looking into a pair of ink-black eyes.

The sound of the wind brushes past my ears, but it grows distant and muffled.

I stare at the person in front of me in a daze, and my heart suddenly skips a beat.

His dark-colored coat is stained with dirt and dust smudges, yet his figure remains upright and composed.

His thin lips are slightly pursed, seemingly due to dryness, making them appear even paler in contrast.

Peering through his slightly disheveled bangs, he gazes at me with gentle and serene eyes. For some unknown reason, unfamiliar emotions of aching sorrow suddenly surge within me.

I tightly squeeze my palm in a somewhat wretched manner, fearing that if I wait for a second longer, tears will gush out of my eyes beyond my control.

Why does my heart suddenly feel as if it has lost a vital part, so empty that it makes me unable to breathe?

I have obviously never seen this man in front of me before, yet I feel as if I’ve sketched his features in my mind countless times over, and every subtle change in his expression tugs at my emotions.

MC: [sobbing]  Why do I…

I restrain the urge that arises from an unknown source, attempting to calm my breathing. Yet, the man seems to sense my gaffe.

He furrows his brows slightly and takes half a step forward, speaking in a hushed tone.

Man (Victor): [THE TONE OF TRADEMARK “VICTOR-TENDERNESS”]  Are you okay?

I open my lips, but the words “I’m fine” or “It’s okay” feel so heavy that they are choked up in my throat.

I gaze into those deep eyes, and the world before me slowly becomes blurry. The determination I’ve been obstinately holding on to seems to crumble bit by bit.

…the moment I heard him speak, I felt as if a soft voice in my mind was whispering to me, reassuring me that it was okay not to be so strong right now.

Finally, I can’t hold back anymore and grasp onto his lapel, allowing burning tears to stream down unbridled.

MC: [sobbing]  …I’m sorry. I-I might have been too scared… just give me a moment to calm down…

I struggle to explain, my words coming out in fragments, and I can sense the man’s body stiffening for a moment.

However, he stands silently in his spot, not uttering a word, allowing me to tightly hold onto his clothes as I sob.

The surroundings are quiet, with only my sobbing echoing in the gentle breeze. In the distance, the faint image of tall buildings seems to appear, only to quickly vanish into the heat waves.

Once my emotions have settled to some extent, I awkwardly loosen my grip on his clothes and nod incoherently.

MC: Thank you. I… I’m sorry about earlier.

Perhaps because I myself don’t know how to explain, in the end, I don’t say anything at all.

The man doesn’t ask me any questions, but his gaze lingers briefly on my dusty face, and his brows seem to slightly furrow.

With a belated realization, I wipe away the tear stains on my face and voice the question in my mind.

MC: Were you also accidentally sucked into this disordered space?

The man averts his gaze and speaks with an indifferent expression.

Man (Victor): I don’t know what you’re talking about.

—

•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•

—

【CH 46-9】

The unexpected response leaves me momentarily stunned.

For a moment, I’m unsure if the person doesn’t understand what I mean or if there is some other reason, so I tentatively try to ask once again.

MC: How did you end up here?

Man (Victor): I don’t know.

MC: …?

Hearing one perfunctory answer after another, I can’t help but feel a little frustrated. However, upon reflecting for a moment, I quickly find solace.

After all, considering that we are in a space filled with unknowns and mysteries, it’s only natural to be on guard.

Moreover... I don’t have much knowledge about this place either. Perhaps this mysterious man hasn’t entered here accidentally to begin with.

The immediate priority is to get out of here as soon as possible.

With that thought in mind, I discreetly clench my fist, trying to tap into the power of CORE. However, nothing happens.

MC: Why is this happening again… oh, right, the totem!

A sudden realization strikes me, and I promptly scan the surroundings, trying to find the stone totem I had encountered earlier. But then, I hear the deep voice of the man beside me.

Man (Victor): We should go.

MC: Go? Where are we going?

Man (Victor): …I don’t know.

His perplexing response continues to baffle me, but as I watch the man’s figure gradually fade into the distance, I hesitate for a moment before ultimately deciding to chase and catch up with him.

Since he was willing to risk his life to save me just now, it’s unlikely that he would have any ill intentions toward me.

Whether he is an ordinary solemn man who got trapped here like me or a mysterious being from another dimension, two people teaming up have a better chance of finding a way out of here.

Seemingly hearing my footsteps, the man glances at me calmly but doesn’t say anything.

I clear my throat and strike up a conversation with him, trying to sound natural while maintaining moderate proximity between us.

MC: Um... I’m not really familiar with this place. Would you mind showing me the way a little longer?

MC: But I don’t quite understand. If you don’t know where we are headed, what’s the point of moving forward now?

The man’s eyes flicker for a moment as he glances slightly behind me, lifting his chin.

Man (Victor): In order to not be caught up.

MC: ...Is there something behind us?

The specious words cause a cold sweat to creep up my back. I turn my gaze in the direction he gestures, only to be greeted with an endless expanse of white sand.

But there seems to be some kind of movement not far away.

My eyes widen as I finally see a gigantic vortex that has materialized in the desert at some point, slowly spinning and extending towards our direction.

MC: What is that?

Man (Victor): Time. If we stop, we will be swallowed up before long.

As if to validate his words, the vortex continues to expand without a moment’s pause. Subconsciously, these words escape my lips.

MC: Are we really going to keep racing against it indefinitely? Until when do we have to keep moving?

Man (Victor): I don’t know––

Seemingly catching a glimpse of my wordless expression from the corner of his eye, his tone falters.

Man (Victor): But time won’t stop. So we must keep moving forward.

His resolute tone sounds as if he is stating some kind of conclusion, which only adds to my bewilderment. But I instinctively follow in his footsteps.

Why does he know all this? Who is he exactly? And why does he keep answering my questions selectively?

I surreptitiously turn my head and gaze at his profile under the scorching sun. A peculiar premonition starts to emerge within me.

He might be the key to my escape from this place.

MC: Hey! Stop for a moment!

The man glances at me with a hint of confusion but still stops in his tracks.

MC: If we keep walking, we’ll exhaust our energy sooner or later. I know a potential solution that might help us find a way out of here.

MC: Let’s go find a stone totem together!

I squat down as I speak and begin to draw earnestly on the sandy surface.

—

[Tidbits]: it’s a nod to the orphanage escape incident of S2, where kid MC did the same thing, drawing the map on the ground to explain the route to kid Victor~ 🥺

—

MC: I’ve accidentally entered this space once before, and at that time, I happened to touch a stone totem. It transported me out of here.

MC: It probably looks like this, with snake or gear patterns on top, in a very quaint style...

I point to the diagram I’ve drawn, explaining the details. But as I lift my head to look at the man, my voice suddenly trails off.

A faint outline emerges on the distant horizon, causing my eyes to widen slightly. In a somewhat incoherent manner, I point towards the distance.

MC: The city I was transported to had buildings with a similar style… perhaps the totem is somewhere nearby!

I spring up impatiently. The man stares into the distance for a moment and then silently keeps pace with me.

However, despite scaling a sand dune, the distance between us and the city remains unchanged.

MC: Strange… why can’t we seem to get any closer?

Man (Victor): That’s a mirage.

Man (Victor): This desert projects one’s innermost longing. But the manifestation is transient, and it eventually fades away.

As if in response to his words, the distant outline begins to blur, reminiscent of a drop of water spreading across a picture scroll.

MC: …why didn’t you tell me earlier?

Man (Victor): There was no need for it.

Man (Victor): As time goes on and you keep on walking, moving forward also becomes an increasing consumption of willpower.

Man (Victor): Being able to see hallucinations at this moment is something that can be considered a blessing.

I instinctively want to refute it. But the moment our eyes interlock, the words get stuck in my throat.

He isn’t teasing me. He genuinely feels that I actually need such a fantasy right now.

MC: You sound like you don’t like seeing hallucinations…

Man (Victor): [voice trailing off]  Whether I like it or not is irrelevant. If it can be a source of support for you in the desert, then it’s a good thing.

The man’s tone when he says this doesn’t sound as indifferent as before. Perhaps, within his emotions that have been weathered by the wind and sand, there still lurks a glimmer of hope?

The way I’m trying to get out of here now, has he tried the same methods too?

The moment I realize this, I feel that all my previous dissatisfaction with his attitude vanishes into thin air, and that it even surges a resonance from the depths of my heart that I’m unable to understand.

As if sensing my abrupt silence, the man’s tone softens a little.

Man (Victor): ...I haven’t seen the totem you mentioned, but I have come across some other fragments in the sand dunes.

Man (Victor): Nothing happened when I touched them, though. So I kept thinking that I couldn’t leave this place.

Man (Victor): But…

The man pauses.

Man (Victor): Now I feel like perhaps you will be able to do it.

I didn’t expect this person, who seemed to have an indifferent attitude so far, to say such words. I can’t help but be frozen in surprise.

As the man observes my bewildered expression, for reasons unknown, a subtle smile tugs at the corners of his otherwise stoic lips.

Man (Victor): [laughs softly]  So, come on. Let’s continue looking for that thing you mentioned.

The sun relentlessly shines down, and every grain of sand beneath our feet reflects a blinding white light that makes one’s head spin.

I don’t know how long we’ve been walking, but suddenly my legs give in, and I hear the man speak just at that moment.

Man (Victor): Let’s take a break for a while.

MC: But the vortex behind us––

Man (Victor): It’s still some distance away from us. We can resume our journey before it catches up.

Heaving a sigh of relief, I follow him to a massive sand dune and flop down beside him. I feel an aching sensation radiating through every bone in my body.

The surroundings are eerily quiet. In the vast sea of sand, we are but two insignificant grains of sand that can be scattered with a single breath.

MC: By the way, I don’t know what to call you. I’m MC. What’s your name?

MC: You’re not going to tell me again that you don’t know, are you?

The man remains silent for a while, his eyelashes casting a faint shadow.

Man (Victor): [sighs helplessly]  …I really don’t know.

Man (Victor): I have no idea about my own identity or why I ended up here.

Man (Victor): I don’t remember anything from the past.

I’m slightly startled, recalling the cold and indifferent “I don’t know” that I got from him before... So, it turns out that it wasn’t just a perfunctory response?

MC: …so, you don’t know how long you’ve been here either?

He nods and casually picks up a stone lying next to his feet.

Man (Victor): I was already in the desert when I regained consciousness. I don’t remember my past, and have no clarity about the future.

Man (Victor): But I remember that I need to go somewhere… because someone is waiting for me there.

MC: Where is that?

He shakes his head and calmly lowers his gaze, as if what he just said isn’t worth caring about. I, however, can’t help feeling a little distressed.

Even without knowing that so-called destination, he persists in carrying this one and only thought in his heart, continuously traversing through the desert without ever stopping–– for who knows how long.

I don’t know whether to call this person persistent or a dummy.

MC: What did you mean earlier when you said being caught up by time would swallow us?

MC: Also, what you said about the desert reflecting innermost longing… have you seen something in the mirage?

His hand stroking the stone ceases its motion, and he turns his head to look at me.

Man (Victor): Hm? Have you always had so many questions?

MC: I’m just curious... And who knows, maybe as we chat, you might also remember something.

Not sure if he’s been persuaded by my words, but he locks eyes with me for a moment before speaking.

Man (Victor): I don’t remember what will happen if we get caught up… but my subconscious tells me that we mustn’t stop.

Man (Victor): As for the images I saw, I can only remember a blurry figure.

His eyes rest on me as he says this, as if he is gazing upon a hazy memory.

Man (Victor): I can’t recall the details clearly. And even if I could, I don’t think I would remember who the other person was.

Man (Victor): All I know is that I really want to see her.

The surroundings lapse into silence, and for a moment, neither of us speaks. After a while, the man gently tosses the stone from his hand.

Man (Victor): Tell me about yourself.

MC: I… the place where I live is called Loveland City. It’s a place where miracles can happen at any moment.

MC: If you drive along the mountain road to the seaside, you will be treated to beautiful sunsets. The streets and alleys are filled with small hidden stores, and you can find delightful surprises more often than not…

I keep babbling on and on, sharing a range of topics from the smallest and trivial matters of everyday life to various incidents with some details left out.

I’m unsure whether it’s to break the monotony or to persevere with the hope of returning home just a little longer, and a little bit longer.

The man remains completely silent, leaning against the sand dune, his gaze lowered as he looks into the distance. It feels as if he is regarding my outpouring as mere background sound.

Amid the boundless tranquility, weariness begins to creep in, little by little.

My eyelids gradually grow heavy. In a half-asleep and half-awake state, I seem to hear a very soft sigh.

The sound of breathing beside his ears slowly becomes even. The man withdraws his gaze from the distance and lowers his eyes to the person beside him.

She has her eyes closed, her body curled up slightly, appearing somewhat restless. A faint sense of trance flickers in his eyes.

He doesn’t know why, but his emotions are stirred by the presence of this girl, causing ripples within him. And this slight throbbing, it seems like, isn’t the first time.

He presses one hand against his forehead, trying hard to recollect. Some scattered and broken images flash intermittently in the depths of his memory.

Amidst the sandstorm, there appeared to be a blurry figure. He is unable to make out the person’s face clearly, but he remembers that when she disappeared, she desperately yelled out a name to him––

The memories in his mind suddenly become blank, and the man opens his eyes, exhaling slowly.

Reminiscent of water droplets seeping into gravel, traces of those images fade away in an instant. His recollection of these fragments is becoming increasingly challenging to grasp.

A familiar rustling sound transmits to his ears, and he lifts his head toward the source.

The gigantic vortex reveals a glimpse of its presence within the shadows.

—

•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•

—

【CH 46-11】

A muffled sound comes from beside my ears, as if something has collapsed with a loud thud. Startled, I’m jolted awake and find myself lying face down on the man’s back.

From behind, deep footprints meander their way, while the sand dune where we were resting earlier is now falling apart in pieces within the vortex.

Despite this, the vortex shows no signs of slowing down, continuing to expand relentlessly without satisfaction.

I draw a soft breath in lingering fear and hear a deep voice coming from beside my ear.

Man (Victor): [the trademark Victor-tenderness]  Awake?

I promptly leap off him and thank him, feeling a little embarrassed.

MC: [blushing]  Thank you. You saved me once again.

The man doesn’t say anything, but I can discern the traces of weariness in his bloodshot eyes.

We got to relax for only a moment as we are just a hair’s breadth away from being engulfed... and how much longer will we have to endure these sleepless and tireless days?

Man (Victor): What are you staring at?

I hurriedly avert my gaze and respond in a low voice.

MC: Nothing. I’m just thinking about how grateful I’m to you for earlier… I’m fully rested now!

MC: Next time, you take a break, and I’ll keep watch. I promise I won’t cause us any delays again!

As I speak with an expression of making a solemn vow, it seems like a faint smile briefly curves at the corners of the man’s lips.

Man (Victor): [chuckles indulgently]  You just focus on taking care of yourself first.

Memories stir up like fleeting ripples, reminiscent of a dragonfly lightly touching the water’s surface. But before I can say anything, the person beside me takes the lead in stepping forward.

After trekking through the blistering waves of heat for a long time, something suddenly catches my eye in the distance. As I approach closer, I can vaguely make out the outline of an arrow. 

I blink and cautiously turn my gaze to him.

MC: Is it the same kind of fragment you’ve seen before? Or is it also a mirage?

Man (Victor): Not sure. Let’s get closer and take a look.

Ten steps, three steps, one step… the arrow still hasn’t vanished. I quickly walk closer, closely examining it.

MC: Although it’s not the totem I’m looking for, it might still be able to take us away from here… want to take a gamble?

The man casts a quick glance at the encroaching vortex.

Man (Victor): Let’s go.

Man (Victor): As long as we’re not staying in this same place, anywhere else is fine.

As the man speaks, he lifts his hand in unison with me, as if by some unspoken agreement.

A familiar power suddenly surges within my body, causing the worn-out arrow feathers to glimmer faintly. In the next moment, a powerful repulsive force swiftly sweeps us up.

—

A faint smell of blood rushes to my nostrils. I open my eyes to a desolate twilight scene, with an immense heap of armor strewn across the barren plain, reflecting in my gaze.

MC: Is this a filming set?

I look around with some surprise and hear the man speak in a contemplative tone.

Man (Victor): It doesn’t seem like an artificial arrangement. Let’s look around first.

I nod and carefully avoid the scattered feathers and arrows as we walk towards the edge together. However, as we continue forward, my puzzlement intensifies more and more, and I can’t help but mutter to myself.

MC: This battlefield feels too real… there isn’t anything like this in Loveland City. It doesn’t even seem like we are in the same era.

Man (Victor): Then perhaps it is real.

Seemingly hearing my fragmented mumblings, the man naturally picks up the conversation. However, a realization suddenly strikes me.

MC: Could it be that the disordered space is connected to other worlds…?

??: Messenger! Why did you leave the military camp and come here?

Before I can finish my sentence, a shout reaches my ears from a distance. I raise my head somewhat and see a troop of soldiers clad in armor waving at me from afar.

An inexpressible sense of familiarity suddenly wells up in my heart. I stop in my tracks and whisper inquisitively to the man next to me, my mind filled with bewilderment.

MC: It’s so weird… why do I feel like I’m really the messenger they’re calling out to? Do you have a similar feeling?

Man (Victor): No. Are you sure it’s not just your imagination?

MC: …but I have a strong sense about it. How about when they get closer, I try talking to them and see what happens?

As we are speaking, the soldiers gradually draw close to us. But before I can even probe, their eyes fall in unison to my side, and they jerk to a halt.

The originally joyful expression on the soldiers’ faces disappears entirely. And in the next second, they swiftly raise their bows and arrows with a numb demeanor.

MC: …!

With no time to react, the man takes my hand and briskly turns, leading me to escape into a deeper part of the jungle.

The sound of arrows whizzing through the air chases closely behind us, reminiscent of intangible shackles. I push aside the branches and leaves obstructing our path and speak as I gasp for breath.

MC: Why would they suddenly turn violent…?

Man (Victor): [in pain and breathless]  Not sure.

The tail notes of his voice seem to be muffled. I turn around and see that the man’s suit has been slashed in several long cuts, with even dark marks seeping into the fabric.

…but how could the branches cause such deep wounds?

I anxiously pull him closer to me, wanting to get a better look at his injuries. But without any warning, a nearby boulder suddenly shakes and tumbles down, catching us off guard.

A cloud of dust and fog billows up as a deep crater is formed where the man has been standing just now. I open my eyes wide and look in the direction from which the boulder has rolled.

MC: Why… did it suddenly come rolling down like that? 

The series of coincidences seem more like some kind of “manipulation.”

The man furrows his brows. It appears that he, too, has sensed something amiss. Without uttering a word, he swiftly pulls me behind a tree, seeking shelter.

The distance between us is suddenly closed, and I can almost smell the scent of blood emanating from his body. I try to suppress my racing heartbeat, listening to the chaotic footsteps echoing through the jungle.

I cautiously peer through the gaps in the branches, and an unexpected figure abruptly enters my line of sight––

That mysterious little boy, attired in an outmoded sweatshirt and oversized beach shorts, blends in among the soldiers chasing us, creating a stark contrast.

Oddly enough, it seems as though the others are completely oblivious to his presence.

Seemingly aware of our gaze, he smiles and lifts his hat in our direction.

Little Boy: How interesting! So, it turns out those exiled by the world would end up in such a wretched state.

What does he mean by that? And why did he appear here?

My heart shudders as I notice that the little boy’s eyes are not directed at me, but rather at the man next to me.

The sudden change in the soldiers’ attitude, the inexplicable assault on him from the surrounding trees… akin to igniting a flint, an unimaginable thought suddenly springs to my mind.

Could the boy be referring to him as the person “exiled by the world”?

Just as I’m about to speak, I hear the deep voice of the person next to me resounding.

Man (Victor): Do you know me?

The little boy just grins, neither confirming nor denying it.

Little Boy: Maybe? If you want to find out, it will depend on how much patience you guys have.

As the little boy speaks, his figure disappears in an instant among the troop. The next second, we hear the shout of a soldier coming from a distance.

Soldier: Over here! Ready your arrows!

The man shifts his gaze away from the spot where the little boy has disappeared, furrowing his brows as he looks down at his feet.

I follow his line of sight, only to find the previously solid and arid ground tremble, suddenly sinking like a swamp, drowning the man’s ankles in a flash.

MC: …what is going on!

Unfathomable events unfold one after another right before our eyes, but before we can even begin to process them, countless arrows are aimed in the man’s direction.

Panicking, I hurriedly rush forward. But the man’s voice stops me in my tracks.

Man (Victor): [THAT PAINED TONE—]  Let’s part ways here.

MC: What?

The man’s voice is very soft but carries an indisputable tone.

Man (Victor): One thing I can be sure of now is that I can’t stay here for long.

Man (Victor): Leave me. It will reduce the dangers for you significantly.

As he speaks with a little more urgency in his tone, an invisible wave of energy ripples through the air, as if trying to forcefully expel him from this world.

As the surging air wave grows increasingly violent, the boulders in the surrounding seem to quake. Realizing that there is no more time for argument, I grit my teeth and lunge myself towards the man.

Before he can react, I instinctively grab his wrist without hesitation.

—

A familiar wave of heat rushes over us, and in the scorching air, there is a hint of dryness, carrying the scent of sand and dust.

Just as expected. We are greeted with the sight of that vast white desert once again. The swirling vortex remains at a distance, separated from us by a sand dune.

MC: Why does it feel like the vortex hasn’t moved?

Man (Victor): It’s time that hasn’t moved.

Seeing my bafflement, the man points towards the direction of the vortex with his finger.

Man (Victor): I have a sense that the time spent in that world won’t impact the time in this desert.

MC: You mean that the time in each world operates independently?

Man (Victor): It’s likely. But the evidence from one world is not enough; we need more…

The man suddenly pauses as if having a lump in his throat, and his brows knit into a frown.

MC: Why did you stop talking?

Man (Victor): …why did you follow me back?

It seems like the man has suddenly realized that his analysis conflicts with his earlier unyielding insistence for us to part ways. He averts his gaze and abruptly changes the subject.

A small chuckle escapes me, feeling a mixture of amusement and dissatisfaction. I pout my lips.

MC: Why do you think? You’re really a dummy.

Man (Victor): …

The man arches the corners of his eyebrows slightly, his expression becoming subtly nuanced. Realizing that my teasing has crossed a boundary, I quickly explain with a serious face.

MC: You yourself mentioned before that when you touched something in the desert, you didn’t receive any response.

MC: So, it’s highly probable that I was the one who brought you into that space just now.

MC: Can we interpret it this way, then? It’s safe to say that without me, you wouldn’t be able to travel to other worlds and would be relentlessly chased by the vortex, so...

Man (Victor): But my predicament has nothing to do with you.

Man (Victor): For you, the world we were in just now was much safer than this desert. It’s not a wise choice to turn back for a stranger.

The man’s words are indeed rational, but why is it making me so infuriated! I pout my lips indignantly.

MC: …I did not turn back for a stranger.

MC: You saved my life twice and took me on walking through this desert for so long. I’m way more familiar with you than I was with that world.

MC: And, by the way, that little boy who was talking to you earlier, I’ve seen him before too.

MC: If we can catch up with him, maybe we’ll be able to find a way to return to our own world!

I continue talking non-stop about all sorts of reasons, but I keep one thing from him––

I don’t know why, but there is a voice in my heart that keeps telling me––

I absolutely cannot leave you behind like this.

As the man listens to my systematic explanation, his expression relaxes slightly.

Man (Victor): [laughs extremely softly]  …indeed. The reasons are quite compelling.

Man (Victor): Let’s go then. Let’s search for the other fragments.

—

•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•

—

【CH 46-12】

With our previous experience, this round of search seems to have gone much smoother. After crossing over a dozen sand dunes, a worn-out crown appears before us.

As if by a wordless tacit understanding, the man and I simultaneously put our hands on it again. As the familiar sensation of whirlwind strikes again, we find ourselves in a courtyard.

On the other side of the gauzy curtains, people dressed in gorgeous attires are laughing and frolicking near the fountain. A woman resembling a maid, carrying a wine jug above her head, gracefully approaches us.

The familiarity of the surroundings surges in my heart once more, inexplicably dispelling my nervousness. Just as I’m about to approach and intercept her to ask, my footsteps halt, and I turn around to tear off a corner of the gauzy curtain. 

MC: Though we can’t fully trust what the little boy said, it’d be wise to keep an eye out.

MC: Just in case, let’s cover your face first.

Apparently not expecting my sudden move, the man doesn’t dodge me. He allows me to swiftly cover his face, leaving only a pair of deep eyes that locks gazes with mine through the gauzy veil.

His warm breath brushes against the palm of my hand through the soft fabric, bringing me a slight tickling sensation. Only now do I realize how closely pressed we are, and I belatedly find myself speaking up.

MC: …tie it yourself.

I hand him the sheer fabric, our fingertips parting as soon as they touch.

Man (Victor): [extremely softly]  …alright.

As the man speaks, his fingertips wrap the white fabric around his ear.

I avert my gaze and carefully approach the serving maid from behind the pillars before finally opening my mouth.

MC: Hello, I––

Court Lady: Your Highness?

A brief moment of surprise crosses the other person’s eyes, and she puts down the wine jug to bow to me.

The familiar sense of recognition is reaffirmed once more, and I make a conscious effort to adapt to this implanted sense of identity, tentatively asking my questions.

MC: No need to bow. Have you happened to see a little boy around?

I describe the little boy’s appearance to her, and she seems momentarily taken aback before pointing towards a far-off location.

Court Lady: Yes, I have indeed seen a child like that. He is currently swinging on the swing over there!

Court Lady: It’s strange. I didn’t even feel like he was an unfamiliar face until you mentioned…

The man and I follow the direction pointed out by the serving maid and, sure enough, spot a small figure on the swing. Without any hesitation, we approach him at a brisk pace.

Just as we’re about a step away, the little boy turns his head and shows us a wide grin.

Little Boy: I can’t believe you actually managed to pull him out of that other space again… that’s really amusing.

MC: Hold on! We have something to ask you!

Paying no mind to my words, the little boy leaps off the swing, and his figure disappears in an instant. Suddenly, a subtle air movement stirs up in the previously tranquil courtyard, heading towards us.

The man tries to dodge the airflow by moving to the side, but it eerily follows closely beside him, forcefully lifting the veil that covers his face.

MC: …

Man (Victor): …

Court Lady: There’s an intruder! Guards!!

Several cries of alarm sound near the fountain. In response to the words, an invisible fluctuation ripples out once again.

The man and I lock eyes with each other, tugging helplessly at the corners of our lips. Before the surge of energy sweeps us up, we swiftly clasp each other’s hands.

In the subsequent time, we traverse back and forth between different worlds, relentlessly following the trails of the little boy’s figure.

Driving a severely run-down off-road vehicle, we make a desperate escape through a charging herd of wild animals…

Through an unfortunate turn of events, we find ourselves inside a spaceship, and out of nowhere, the alarm of the malfunctioning AI machinery blares…

Meanwhile, the peculiarly attired little figure remains at a distance that’s neither too far nor too close, observing us mockingly as we struggle.

Following another burst of white light, we find ourselves facing an expansive and deep space, akin to a starry sea, adorned with numerous translucent golden gears floating in the air.

The little boy lifts his head and looks up in quiet contemplation. As we draw closer, he looks at us with a mirthful smile.

Little Boy: Well, really impressive! You two actually managed to chase me this far~

Little Boy: It’s a pity, though. It’s just useless persistence, after all.

Ignoring the ridicule in his tone, I take two steps forward.

MC: Given that you never show up without a reason, I don’t believe this time is an exception.

MC: I’m sure you know how to leave the white desert, do you not?

Little Boy: You’re being so straightforward. But you’re the special one, are you not? Only you know the answer to that question.

Deep in thought, I furrow my brows, while the little boy has already shifted his attention towards the man, speaking with keen interest.

Little Boy: I know what you’re about to ask, but I’m not going to tell you.

Little Boy: Because–– it’s also a punishment.

Little Boy: Oh, right, I almost forgot. You mustn’t take him with you when you leave.

Little Boy: Those who assist in cheating will also face the punishment.

The little boy giggles. His figure gradually fades into transparency, and the familiar ripples of energy emanate once again in the surroundings.

–

After a dizzying spin, the immense desert comes into view again. Under the nearly white daylight, every grain of sand around us radiates a blinding brilliance.

I stagger a few steps and am steadied by a strong arm. Just as I regain my balance, I suddenly notice a plane ticket lying quietly at my feet.

Passenger Name: MC, Destination: Loveland City, Departure Time: 10:45 AM.

Isn’t this my return ticket?

I hesitantly reach out my hand, and a familiar power surges within my body once again. As if sensing something, the plane ticket emits a silver-white glow, even more radiant than before.

MC: …look! This seems to be a fragment for returning to Loveland City! Let’s go together!

A rare expression of hesitation briefly crosses across the man’s face.

Man (Victor): …there’s no need. You heard what he said just now. If you were to be punished…

I swiftly close the distance between us in three steps, clutching onto his sleeve.

MC: I don’t believe we are cheating at all.

MC: The real punishment for me would be if I, despite having the ability to take you with me, leave you behind out of fear of the “so-called” punishment.

MC: So, come with me!

The man’s lips twitch slightly, and he doesn’t pull back his sleeve. A white light envelopes us instantly.

–

“...This flight is now halfway through its journey, and we will soon be serving meals. Please remain seated and patiently wait…”

The sweet-sounding voice over the announcement accompanies the loud humming of the aircraft’s operations as it reaches my ears. Feeling apprehensive, I open my eyes and see the flight attendant approaching our direction with the food cart.

The man sits in the seat next to me, quietly observing the surroundings. The dim light of the cabin is reflected in his deep, dark eyes.

Without giving him a chance to speak, I reflexively grab the magazine on the seat and open it, placing it as a barrier in front of him.

MC: Shh––

I glance in the direction of the flight attendant and quietly caution him. Inadvertently, I catch a glimpse of my phone out of the corner of my eye, and the screen displays the current time.

13:28.

—

•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•

—

【CH 46-13】

…when I was swept away by that force, it was exactly this time.

Just as expected, all those immensely long experiences in the disordered spaces seem to condense into a single fleeting moment upon returning to reality.

Before I have a chance to process my thoughts, an amiable voice inquires in my ear.

Flight Attendant: Hello, miss. Today’s set menu offers two options: beef and fish. May I ask which one you would like to choose?

My body tenses up, and I hastily scan my gaze across the man’s figure.

Oh dear, now there’s suddenly someone in the previously empty seat. Even if I cover his face, there’s no way she wouldn’t notice him…

After not receiving a response for a while, a hint of confusion appears on the flight attendant’s face. She lowers her body slightly and speaks in a gentler tone.

Flight Attendant: Miss? Have you made a decision?

MC: …beef, please. Thank you.

Trying to conceal my nervousness, I watch as the flight attendant smiles and hands me a meal tray. Then, she pushes the food cart and heads straight towards the back row.

The man and I share glances with each other before I tentatively call out to her.

MC: Excuse me, could I please have another serving?

The flight attendant looks at me with some bafflement for a moment, but professionally hands me another meal tray before moving away with the food cart. Once she is a bit further, I speak in a low voice.

MC: What just happened? It seems like she can’t see you?

MC: Come to think of it, I haven’t actually confirmed this before, but... are you human?

The man sets aside the magazine from his face and glances at me with a puzzled expression.

Man (Victor): What do you think?

MC: It’s hard to say from my perspective… do you mind if I poke you to find out?

Man (Victor): [sighs LONG AND HARD]  …

The man lets out a sigh, seemingly declining to comment. His expression, however, suggests tacit approval.

I reach out and poke his arm. Hmm, it’s firm;

I then prod his chest. Hmm, I can feel his heartbeat;

I gently touch his cheek again. Hmm, it feels warm as well;

Just as I’m about to feel his hair, the man grabs hold of my fingertips.

Man (Victor): Have you confirmed it now?

—

[Anika’s Reactions]: LMFAAOOO MC!! sorry I had to stop haha. what an innovative way to say you wanna touch his 104 LOL; we see you girl 😆 when you have a life-size full course meal with midnight snacks sitting right next to you, despite the predicament, it is indeed “hard” to control yourself.~ 😂 but also, the fact that she can ask him that so naturally and he just lets her have her way with him like he always has– it simply further seals their “sense of belonging” and that line that no matter what world, they’ll always meet and are destined to be 吸引 (drawn/ attracted) to each other with or without the memories. After all, attraction to another means both emotional and physical, does it not~ ❣️

—

MC: Yes, yes, I have. How do you feel now? Is there anything that feels off to you?

Man (Victor): [GODS THAT PAINED TONE]  Everything seems normal.

Man (Victor): The seat hasn’t collapsed, and the seatbelt hasn’t suddenly tangled around my hands or feet.

MC: You’re right. It’s definitely more welcoming than that spaceship world… now that I think about it, it seems like every world reacts differently to your presence.

MC: On that battlefield, the soldiers were directly on guard to fight you with swords and spears; whereas in the ruins, the dwarves simply kept their distance from you, pointing and whispering among themselves;

MC: Perhaps the inability to see your existence is a manifestation of this world?

The man’s eyebrows furrow slightly, and a hint of contemplation flashes in his eyes. After a moment, he speaks.

Man (Victor): Indeed. Other than that, there doesn’t seem to be a more plausible explanation.

MC: Compared to other worlds, this level of rejection seems relatively mild… it could be a sign that you have a special connection with Loveland City!

Man (Victor): …

MC: Why the speechless face! I’m being serious!

MC: If it’s only to this extent, I think you could totally live here. Who knows, if you stay long enough, this world will eventually embrace you?

Exhilarated, I pick up the spread-open travel magazine and gesture for him to take a look.

MC: Look, this is the seaside sunset I mentioned to you earlier… and here, during the flowering season, it’s also a sight worth visiting!

I describe the charm of Loveland City to him, but suddenly, something crosses my mind.

MC: Since you’re going to live here, you should have a name. Otherwise, it would be inconvenient to address you.

Man (Victor): …? If you’re the only person who can see me, it doesn’t seem to matter much whether I have a name or not.

MC: But selecting a name would also serve as a declaration of the beginning of your new life!

The man and I lock eyes for a moment, but then he shakes his head.

Man (Victor): I don’t have any particular ideas about a name at the moment.

MC: How about I help you in choosing one?

MC: Since we met in the desert… how about the name “Dune”? (*)

Man (Victor): …

MC: Or how about Mr. Handsome? Mr. Benevolent Enigma? (*)

Man (Victor): [much more dots than usual]  …….

Seeing the man’s expression becoming increasingly nuanced, I quickly seal my lips.

In the corner of my eye, I coincidentally happen to glance at a photo of a panda in the magazine. I seem to feel a sudden surge of emotions stirring in my heart, causing me to blurt out without thinking.

MC: How do you feel about the name Vic-Vic? (*)

MC: Just the one to be a good reminder for you to talk more, instead of being like a closed-off person.

The man’s gaze lingers on the photo for a moment, and his expression seems to soften with a touch of tenderness.

Man (Victor): [laughs elatedly, unbeknownst to him]  …childish.

─────

[Notes]: It’s gonna be a big note, and yes, it’s on the names:

– the 1st one MC chose was 沙沙 (shā shā), taking the first character from 沙漠 (shāmò; means desert) and using iterations to make it cutesy. 沙 independently means “sand.” so I’m pretty sure Elex will go for something like Sandy LMAO

– the 2nd one (Mr. Handsome) is the literal translation of 小帅; the 3rd one’s tricky. It’s 沈密仁 (Shen Mi Ren). Here, 沈 (Shen) is a surname; whereas 密 (Mi) means “enigma/ mystery”; and 仁 (Ren) means “benevolence/ kindness.”

– and lastly, it was, as you might’ve already guessed, 言言 (Yan Yan), derived from his original name 李泽言 (Li Zeyan); the same name his mom used to call him, the name of his panda friend, and one of the names the whole fandom calls him affectionately~ 😭  and as for why MC says it’s a good reminder for him to talk more, the term 言 (Yan) independently has the meaning of “word/ to speak/ to talk/ speech”~ ❣️

──────────

CH 46 Part 2: Here!

────────────────────

[travellingwiththedead]

Ok, so I decided to finally catch up with the His Dark Materials series and I'm near the end of s2 and some stuff is just kinda icky...or maybe that's just me.

It's been ages since I read the books and I don't remember how it was there but: were the books making as big a deal of the difference between children and adults in regard to "sin"? Like the show makes it out like in Lyra's world as soon as a child hits puberty the adults just go "you're a sinner now". Also how /do/ they actually differentiate between child and adult? Puberty's a whole process, takes years. Hell, your brain isn't out of puberty until you're like in your 20s.

Also all the misogyny in Lyra's world is just pissing me off but I hope that's intentional xD

(Edit: Oh but I do love Ruth Wilson, she's fab)

[areseebee]

The imitating-the-head-movement thing is soo great, tbh, I wonder if he was directed to or if he did that on his own. There's some really brilliant "little acting" in this show that's just so very good. I rewatched the S2 finale, and that scene with Cathy (not her eyebrows!), when she has that discussion with Ma Mary, he's full on beaming at his mother's pathetic claims about how much she's missed him, face completely dropping at Mary's "well you did dump him here quite a long time ago!", the way he says "Mum's had a lot going on" - that was sooo nailing the abandoned child in denial about their parent's lack of affection, brilliant, but also Mary's reaction!! When her eyes stay on James for a second before going back to Cathy going on about her business, you can literally watch Ma Mary's heart break for him! Considering there's some quite silly slapsticky comedy and over the top physical stuff in there as well, in some moments we really get to see how much *serious* acting talent there's assembled in this cast! ("Serious" acting talend in addition to comic acting talent, which is obvious in practically every scene I mean)

[this ask is referencing my tags on this reblog of a gifset of james in 3x07 as he watches his erin fancam footage]

yes, totally agree! there's some really, really top tier "little acting" from the entire cast (face acting, i think it's called? idk, don't quote me on that, i am not a trained actor).

in the same vein as the "little acting," the background acting in derry girls is just so excellent. i remember an interview with one of the main cast members where they talk about how tiring some of the long filming days would be because, even if they didn't many lines, they are always in the scene, reacting or doing something in the background. orla/louisa harland gets a lot of recognition for their/her background antics, but i think james/dylan llewellyn is really, really excellent with his background acting too. and, imo, it leads to a really rich text to work with as a fic writer and makes the show endlessly layered and rewatchable. i still feel like i pick up on new things when i revisit the show.

mine and @derrygirlstrash's fic, making moves, is grounded in only a look that erin gives james in the dark when the gang is sneaking into the protestant boys' room in 2x01. she's concerned about how she "doesn't have any moves," looks back at james anxiously, he very clearly notices, and then his next line is about how "boys like girls who are confident." like! why was she looking at him? had they talked about this together before? he's so quick to reassure her, to make sure she's not worried. boom - we wrote a fic about it.

or in 3x03, when james is about to sneeze on the train and erin is looking at him encouragingly, hoping she'll get to hear about his "hopes and dreams," and michelle is looking between the two of them like she suspects something, like whatever is about to happen needs to be stopped. did michelle really just happen on them kissing in 3x04 or had she been watching them for a while, seeing this develop right in front of her eyes and try to interrupt it? because i think it's fun, my headcanon is the latter and it's based literally on that one look in 3x03 alone. i'm not gonna write it, but someone give me a "5 times michelle suspected" fic!

there's just so much there if you've got an eye to it, so many spaces for fun ideas. it's the way i like to write and think about fic - to find those spaces in a source material, to find those opportunities within it to really explore what else could be there and to better understand who the characters are to themselves and to each other. imo not all source material has those spaces, but derry girls has it in spades.

[susandsnell]

interview with the vampire!!!! (for that one question post you reblogged)

Thanks dear! I'll go with mostly-showverse for now. Under the cut for length bc i'm a wordy bastard!

Interview With The Vampire

my favorite female character: Unfortunately we're not exactly spoiled for choice in this franchise (thanks, Anne!), but I've loved Claudia De Pointe Du Lac Lioncourt Éparvier since I first got into the franchise. The show enriched her character and went in such fascinating directions with her with the changes they made, and she's by far the most interesting person in the entire cast on top of being the reason the story exists. An intrepid polyglot, a master strategist, more vampire than any other vampire for having been turned in her formative years and therefore developing (and not developing!) as one yet simultaneously the closest thing to a moral core the story has (not in a 'women are purer' sense but that by vampire standards, she really didn't do much wrong beyond adopting Louis' "fuck you got mine" attitude lol), rage and depression and heartaching hope and resilience, she really is my spark in the dark.

my favorite male character: a tie between louis de pointe du lac and daniel molloy! i've always really connected with the grief and the guilt at the core of louis' character, but the way the show expands on it in ways that absolutely gutted me for personal reasons. rewriting him as a closeted gay Black brothel owner in the turn of the century was a stroke of genius to break away from the source material, and he's played with such beauty and nuance by Jacob Anderson, who makes him so much more than pop culture's first major reluctant vampire. He's funny and brilliant and artistic and sensitive and capable in equal measure of heartrending mercy and sharp cruelties, alternately achingly moral with sharp moments of selfishness. he's someone who loves and hates with equal ferocity, and through unimaginable pain and loss and demons of his past and of his own mind, he comes through the other side unmistakably owning the night.

likewise, i always liked daniel - i'm a sucker for the human character brought into the supernatural mishaps - but the show turning him into this incredibly believable utter jackass shitlib so intertwined with 20th century queer and political history, so funny and cruel and able to hold his own against creatures of unimaginable power through his own wit and skill absolutely won me over.

my favorite book/season/etc: Favourite book in TVC? I come back to Interview the most frequently. The grief and guilt that pours out of every page resonated with me in middle school, and even more so later on. As for my favourite season of the show, Season 2 wins by a landslide. I really liked S1, but I loved S2, and the back half of it was possibly some of the best television I've watched in years. An encroaching sense of doom, phenomenal bottle episodes, genre-blending like you've never seen, the whole cast giving career defining performances once an ep, a breathtaking and often operatic sense of scale and breadth of time, all capped off by a finale that was all about catharsis and recovery.

my favorite episode (if its a tv show): I'm going to have to go splitsies on this one and say that Don't Be Afraid, Just Start The Tape is my most rewatched/favourite, but I think that I Could Not Prevent It is easily the best (I'd go so far as to say one of the best episodes of TV I've watched), however I've been able to do fewer full rewatches because it was so profoundly upsetting the first go-through and still gets me. I'll gush about each in a sec, but I would also like to give a shoutout to the first episode because it started us off wicked strong and was instantly iconic.

Don’t Be Afraid, Just Start The Tape is where my jaw hit the floor this season and I didn't quiet scoop it up until the finale. It’s a very queer love song to so many horror subgenres (erotic, slasher, gothic, heavy elements of found footage/analog which were just delightful) and the source material/the 94 film, and you crack down to the core and it’s about the nature of the thread connecting the Vampire to the Interviewer. I’m a consummate bottle episode enjoyer, but this was really something special that brings the narrator into the story all while recontextualizing the relationships and the creeping horror of the frame narrative in Dubai and pulls together the reconstruction the narrative around the time shifts from the book (by splitting the interview into two parts) and I’m kind of blown away it exists. It's a bold move to jump to a point long after Claudia's death mid-season (for those unaware this is going to happen) and flash back to a time where the grief for her was rawer, but it raised the stakes significantly, as did crystallizing the true nature of the relationships between Armand, Louis, and Daniel (all of which get payoff in the finale) + how they've shaped each other's lives, while setting in motion the potential for where they're going to go next season. I Could Not Prevent It is the crown jewel of the show, however, and not just because it relays arguably the most famous part of the Interview With the Vampire story -- that being Claudia's death. It, too, is a bottle episode, albeit one where the bottle was performed, as Delainey explained, as an actual play, all shot onstage in a theatre that has been a prison and slaughterhouse to many, now turned inwards on our leads. Structurally, I was already awed by this; as one might surmise from my blog, I'm a huge theatre nerd, and if Don't Be Afraid, Just Start The Tape is a love song to slashers, then I Could Not Prevent It is surely a love song to theatre; there's a dark reprise of an earlier musical number in true musical theatre fashion, turns and fourth wall breaks, and a Shakespearean element of audience complicity in the tragedy unfolding. It's also a stark criticism of the historical use of theatre as a tool of racial violence, and indeed, the theatricality of racialized violence. The brutality of what is done to Louis, Claudia and Madeleine is difficult enough to stomach on its own, but the extended racist humiliation and DARVO retracing of the events of season one had me pausing the episode multiple times in actual angry tears, an emotional experience I've almost never had with television before. Every single cast member is at the top of their game -- Jacob Anderson, especially in both s1 revisits (Claudia's turning + the coffin room scene) had me legitimately breathless, and Delainey's embodiment of Claudia's defiance, righteous fury, and the exact moment when the fight goes out of her as she practically convulses into her seat, having cursed her parents one last time for how they treated her, broke me into pieces. But rather than unremitting misery, there's a bright moment of love and hope at the centre -- Madeleine, the amoral survivalist, choosing to die by Claudia's side rather than live among the coven who would kill her. Roll the fuck over, Loustat church scene -- the shot of Madeleine looking over her shoulder with that warm, certain smile while Claudia stares back, awed, is easily the most romantic scene in the entire show. After painstaking recounting, piece by piece, of every way in which her parents failed and wronged her and didn't prioritize her, here's Madeleine, already once having faced trial by mob, now walking into the fire, for her -- an affirmation that she was always so much more than a roof shingle. The image of them holding one another and whispering their last words cemented them as the ultimate lesbian star-crossed lovers; it was Aida and Romeo and Juliet and Titanic all in one. Just. Wow. Wow wow wow.

my favorite cast member: They're all great! But Delainey Hayles is adorable and lovely and I wish her all the best things in life and the world. I hope she does more theatre and more horror, I want to see her leading romances, I really hope she breaks out from this.

my favorite ship: It's weird because I came into the show and even s2 completely ship neutral I-like-everything (though of course I was a Loustat girlie before I even knew I was queer myself lmao), but if you've been following me, you know that Danlou snuck up on me and gripped me by the throat and sunk its fangs in. While we knew there was mutual attraction, the "I really thought we did!" "Do you want to now..?" exchange that had it click for me that Daniel seems to be genuinely in love with Louis, and as the show would later reveal, there's probably more than a little fondness and care from Louis' end of things. While their entire push-and-pull is super engaging, it's their give and take that really speaks to me. In 73, Daniel was the first person in over two decades that Louis was able to open up to, laying the groundwork for him as that safe place for Louis. This meant enough that in the throes of the worst physical and mental pain of his life, Louis locked himself in that miserable hellscape of a marriage to save Daniel -- both physically, and then with the tenderness and mercy that carried him through to the end of his life. 50 years on, Daniel is nearing the end of that life, and hands it back to Louis to give him back the missing puzzle pieces and the key to get himself out of that hellish marriage. And while Daniel did a terrible wrong by covering the Interview, s2 left them on good terms as a safe place of support and processing for one another, and I really look forward to seeing where it'll go from there.

Close close second to Claudeleine, though, for the star-crossed lovers reasons mentioned above. (They also have a lot of Danlou parallels!)

a character I’d die defending: i'm defending none of them. they all know what they fucking did lmfao. and I don't need to defend Claudia because she did nothing wrong!

a character I just can’t sympathize with: I dunno, I kind of sympathize with everyone you're meant to sympathize with bc that's the point? Even Antoinette went through some truly heinous shit at Lestat's hands she didn't deserve because the show does make some solid points of wrong being wrong and cruelty being cruelty no matter who is subjected to it. I guess Santiago having an implied sad backstory didn't sway me on him being love-to-hate for me, but I don't think you're meant to feel sorry for him beyond seeing him as yet another vampire spinning in the cycles of violence.

a character i grew to love: i always liked him, but my god daniel won me over in s2 with his funnyman tendencies and his tragedies and triumphs, for reasons cited above.

my anti otp: ehh, i'm pretty ship neutral? but marimand comes to mind, especially since anne ONCE AGAIN didn't seem to realize what she'd written there and just how vile it was. ick. i trust the showrunners to rectify her framing.

If you've managed to read this far, thank you and I'm sorry and congrats! I could yap forever about these vamps.

have a good one, and thank you for the ask!

[slingbats]

do I dare ask what they cut out in the bathtub scene?

OH it's not what was cut from the bathtub scene, it's like um... it's more like that bathtub scene in s1 in particular (the later bathtub scene in s2 is just a continuation of their Clockwork Orange reference) is a product of a plot thread/theme/implication that seems to have ultimately been cut from the version of the show that we were given

in other words the footage that we're shown is completely fine, so I wouldn't worry too much, but I've seen some kind of dark hints in early interviews

um, i'll put this stuff in the cut, in the end none of this is important because it didn't make it into the final version of the show, but just a heads up, I will be discussing implications of CSA and incest

it's not really a secret that there's a lot of plot threads/teasers for potential future ideas especially in the early seasons of Gotham that didn't make it in. Dent is in a handful of episodes but is never really discussed or followed up on, Montoya (a longtime franchise darling) appears in early episodes of s1 and then exits the show entirely, the Dollmaker is just??? never dealt with at all despite being foreshadowed in like... episode 2 or 3? and all the cast interview material aired in advertising leading up to the finale being how he's one of the most terrifying character they've used so far in the show

in s2 Strange teases the next arc involving the Mad Hatter but it doesn't come to fruition until season 3 and Strange is much less involved than he's foreshadowed to be

in s3 Fish Mooney walks into the woods to be put into cold storage if ever Jada Pinkett Smith entered their budget again, but was ultimately shelved, and Ivy is constantly weaving in and out of the story while the writers struggled to find a place for her leaving us with a clumsy mess in the final product

Um, this is a lot based on vibes and subtext so it might be nothing, but... initially when I watched the couple of episodes of Gotham when they first aired, I ended up dropping it due to just not really being interested in cop dramas, but I did pick up on something pretty quickly which is that Gertrud initially gives off like... really weird vibes? right?

that ultimately are harmless because the show genuinely doesn't imply anything weird - and I will admit that I personally, as an individual, and speaking only from the perspective of a white USAmerican, am not really that close to my parents? Certainly not close enough to have a conversation with my mother in the room while I'm in the tub.

I am not implying there's anything weird about this scene as it exists, because I know without concrete evidence this does sound like I'm reading too much into it, but when I first saw it/the way she speaks to him early on I thought there were going to be much darker themes surrounding Gertrud and her relationship to Oswald than there ended up being

I know in other cultures stuff like that is more normal, families bathe together and it's not strange at all, but that isn't the culture I was raised in or really the one the story was created in - so when I saw this scene I got vibes of like... Gertrud having a weird amount of control over his life

this is only tangentially related but Gertrud's presence in this show reminds me of notes on BTAS for the original concept of the Penguin, before the showrunners had to mold Penguin and Catwoman around the Returns depictions. The scan is pretty poor quality so I apologize but I do not own a copy of this very expensive book (Batman Animated, 1998)

The text is small so I'll transcribe the important parts.

"...In the early stages of development, we started thinking of the Penguin more of a cerebral villain who relied on his wits rather than his fists to combat the Dark Knight. One funny notion briefly considered was to turn him into a bird-loving Norman Bates-style mama's boy always under the thumb of his overly protective but never seen mother. Batman would have even gone so far as to mockingly call Penguin 'mama's boy' to his face, another blow to the proud bird's easily ruffled feathers."

This was never used in the final concept as the character morphed into a more sophisticated depiction of Danny Devito's portrayal in Returns, but I think it's interesting that it... sounds a little bit like what we've seen in other versions of the character, and with Oswald in Gotham. There's nothing nasty implied in the description of this early concept, but I keep wondering if this wasn't something they considered while reviewing the mountain of material they were given to develop the cast of Gotham.

To be very fair, Gertrud as a character is implied to be flighty and has a darker past than they often discuss, with her story of how she sold out a classmate she thought poorly of to the secret police to sort of illustrate where Oswald might have learned to be the way that he is, that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, but.

She's also, at least initially when Oswald returns home for the first time, shown to be overbearing and protective, especially over his romantic life, which she discourages him from pursuing to say the least (though this is not an uncommon trope anyway, both with protective dads over their daughters and overbearing mothers over their sons)

I swear I've seen this come up more than once in interview materials - but I don't really scour those and wasn't part of the fandom when the show was airing, and didn't watch the show as it aired, but this specific article has a few weird implications? (link to the wayback machine, I swear I saw it somewhere else but I could only find it in archived format this time)

To explain a little, in the interview once the questions turn to the actual characters, Carol Kane seems to speak as Gertrud to the interviewer rather than answering as an outsider with her own opinions of the script, and she is an actor portraying a character, not a writer or showrunner or producer.

So what does Gertrude think about Oswald's lifestyle? Kane: It's worrisome because he works in the restaurant business and his hours are horrible. He doesn't get enough sleep. I'm assuming he eats OK because they probably feed him there, but I think it's a very stressful business, and I don't understand why. And I want him to be very careful in his choice of women, and I fear that he might not be. Why is Gertrude worried about other women? Does she feel they would take Oswald away from her? Kane: I can't tell you why. That's private between me and him. [Laughs]

I don't know, I can't find the other article where I got an odd feeling from it, but I've seen this a few times, this vague implication that they have a "special" and "private" relationship, and I'm very aware of the tendency for like, especially in writing, maternal characters to speak this way about their kids, to imply that mothers have some sort of psychic bond with their children, but something about the phrasing always seemed off to me.

And if nothing else it seemed like he was going to be more "under her thumb" as the excerpt from the BTAS art book described, based on a question a little further down the line.

So, Gertrude doesn't have a dark streak?  Kane: Well, I'm quite strict as well. I don't put up with bad behavior or fooling around. So, I will not necessarily always be sympathetic because it's my role to keep [Oswald] on the straight and narrow.

It's just... vague and odd.

From other pieces I've seen while doing a minimal amount of digging for research a while back, the implication to me just felt... Like they probably would never outright say it, that it was never meant to be outright stated by the show, and never that it was meant to be portrayed as good, but that she would be a darker, potentially more abusive character - and we see so little of her it's possible that she isn't as innocent as she appears, a lot of her dialogue that wasn't necessarily directly about Oswald always implied that a little bit to me anyway, but they seem to have ultimately decided not to go with the idea of her being abusive towards him at least.

Again I can't state enough that she's only an actor and that an actor's views may not align with that of the writers, and this interview is only from around when the second or third episode of the entire show would have aired, so the plan may have changed and scenes may have been cut to avoid this implication, as the final show does not depict this at all, but...

just from external materials the exact phrasing that's used around the subject keeps setting off little alarms to me

the contents of the conversation had during the bathtub scene are important, they show how Oswald shares with his mother, that they're very close, and how he views Jim with as much sincerity as he can have with her, behind closed doors, and so I don't think it was strange to keep the scene in the show, but I think the framing of the setting, the reason that it's in a bathtub and not while they're sitting on the couch having tea, for example, is because there were initially darker implications about their relationship that are no longer there

I don't believe they would have handled the topic delicately anyway. I think it could be interesting to explore a story about an abuse victim, but I don't think that's the one they wanted to tell - a lot of times characters who are "mama's boys" in this way are usually done so in the style of Norman Bates, as mentioned before, to make the "mama's boy" in question feel like a creepier character, but. um

I mean, looking at the way the show just kind of. casually drops "the previous police commissioner is keeping his intellectually disabled daughter in the attic of some random couple's house outside the city and they will kill to keep this a secret" and then just never mentions it again even while Loeb as a character is still present in the show, as if they're begging you not to think about what they wrote, I think making the decision not to include it was probably the right one

TL;DR the implications are from external media and are ONLY implications, but the show as it's presented to us doesn't have any of this content so it's fine

[beevean]

I think I made a similar post a while ago, but I'm having another thought about how different NFCV and IDW Sonic are in adapting the source material.

I would say the game characters in IDW Sonic are superficially similar to canon, and if you let yourself be swayed by the "vibes" you won't notice anything wrong, but the peel soon comes off if you stop and actually analyze the dialogue and expressions. They're OOC in an uncanny valley way, all while pretending to be canon compliant.

In NFCV, somehow, every character from the games was reversed in personality, to the point that after a while it almost looks intentional:

Game Trevor is a charismatic, friendly man who accepts without hesitation to help humanity against Dracula despite being shunned by fellow humans, although he can be hotheaded and act before thinking, which spells disaster in CoD; nevertheless, he earned his title of Legendary Belmont. N!Trevor is cynical, snarky, antisocial, allegedly rude, and holds no love for humanity at first due to his past, although he reluctantly helps to uphold his family legacy; he also has no real successes under his belt until his encounter with N!Death in the very finale, including not being the one who effectively kills N!Dracula.

While very little was established about Game Sypha, we know she is a witch raised by the Church after he fellow witches were killed (she was reimagined into a cold, aggressive knight templar in Judgment, but while the concept makes sense, I don't consider that game canon). N!Sypha is a "Speaker" who, like everyone else, holds contempt for the Church, she has by far the least amount of trauma in the cast which makes her generally sheltered, and her personality is more or less "peppy braincell holder".

Game Alucard is broody and curt, but cares a lot about his friends (especially Trevor, as shown in GoS), and sees his bloodline as a curse to protect the world from, as per his mother's wish. N!Alucard is sarcastic, antagonistic and outright rude, insulting towards Trevor, and most troubling sees vampires as "his people". To say nothing of what their outfits convey about their personalities...

Game Dracula is the terrifying but worshipped Dark Lord, and also a cold, petty man who became a violent force of nature, whose grief is sympathetic but his actions go too far and harm everyone around him, actually best seen in Lament of Innocence with Elisabetha's death. N!Dracula starts off the same, but by S2 he succumbs to depression and becomes so apathetic and ineffectual that his castle can be conquered by external forces, as no one bar N!Isaac respects him, and he seeks emotional support from his servant; worse, he's painted by the narrative as "not so bad after all", best example being the people in Targoviste who get hit by the Idiot Ball and don't heed his warning, so that they "deserve" what they got. On top of this, while game Dracula is eventually stuck in a cycle of death and rebirth that strips away all humanity in him until Chaos' influence on his soul is severed, N!Dracula simply decides to stop his rampage not even a year after his death because his wife was resurrected.

Game Lisa's last words were begging Alucard to not harm humanity, "for theirs is a hard lot", and she clearly cared about her son and his mental wellbeing. N!Lisa is condescending towards her fellow peasants, and her last words were begging Dracula to not harm humans, urging him "to be better than them"; when revived, she also decides to abandon her son to his grief to "give him closure".

Game Hector is a melancholic, sharp man filled with guilt and self-loathing, prone to emotional outbursts and susceptible to the corrupting effects of the Curse, who nevertheless understands that he can be more than a tool for destruction and learns to appreciate the value of humanity, and that's why he runs away from his cruel Lord and finds love in the human world. N!Hector is stunted, a "manchild" so alienated from mankind that he agrees to the idea of culling humans without thinking much about it and never learns how morally wrong he was, passively going along with any proposal presented in front of him, and constantly stripped away of his agency and dignity to be less than a tool for other people, until his final act is choosing to stay with his latest abuser... who would rather kill herself than stay with him anyway, leaving him in the exact same place he had started from.

Game Isaac is flamboyant and larger than life, clearly reveling in his most evil actions and without pity towards humans, but also embittered by his own inferiority complex and desire to be a good tool for Dracula: his descent into madness due to Hector's betrayal and Dracula's death is tragic and horrifying, but the narrative never justifies his vile revenge, and eventually there is no escape for him. N!Isaac is deadly serious, prone to philosophizing, fully convinced to be a good person surrounded by evil and petty humans despite the atrocities he commits, and eventually decides that he wants to live for himself and have agency, rising to a new position of king. They both start out as simps, but that's the extent of their similarities. In fact, N!Isaac has infamously more in common with Hector than Isaac.

(as further note, in the games Hector was favored over Isaac due to his better abilities, although both of them were relatively respected; in the show, N!Isaac is massively favored over N!Hector, to the point where N!Dracula calls the former his friend and hired the latter through a lie because "he's easy to lie to")

Game Saint Germain is a whimsical, unflappable time traveller who tries his best, with the limitations imposed on him, to stop Dracula from being brought back. N!Saint Germain is certainly eccentric and capable of dimensional travel, but he's also plagued by grief over one woman and through it he's eventually manipulated into reviving N!Dracula instead (insert "god is going to have sex again" line here).

Game Death is Dracula's most loyal servant and confidant, affably polite but unswerving in his desire to bring his Master back over and over. N!Death only cares about feeding on souls and was ready to make Dracula suffer undescribable pain to use him as a pawn, all while infamously talking like a drunk sailor. The few things they have in common are their manipulation skills and ability to assume a disguise to blend in.

Game Carmilla is another vampire devoted to Dracula, responsible for his resurrection in CoTM; N!Carmilla despises Dracula and everything he stands for, more or less hijacking his role as the main antagonist.

Game Richter in RoB starts out as a hotblooded, enthusiastic young man eager to fight and uphold his legacy... which leads him to a dark path later on when he succeeds and has nothing legt going for in his life. N!Richter is just as enthusiastic, but starts his story suffering from the trauma of his mother's death that makes him prone to panic attacks, and has little legacy to uphold.

Game Maria is a bubbly, cheerful, innocent young girl who doesn't even understand Dracula's talk about power. N!Maria is a surly, bitter teenager only concerned with political matters.

Game Annette is a perfectly normal woman in love with Richter, but braver than she lets on, shown in the cutscene where she attempts to slit her own throat to reject Dracula's advances. N!Annette has literal godly powers, is unique in the show's environment as a runaway slave, her bravery is actually rashness that often causes problems, and she's mostly furious at the world and everyone around her, especially N!Richter for being "a child" and "useless as fuck" (though this is set to change as they are bound to fall in love).

Game Juste is shown to be protective towards his loved ones to a fault, best seen in the good ending where he wants to deny the truth of Maxim's actions to Lydie. N!Juste abandoned his family after Maxim and Lydie's death, and has completely given up on fighting evil, having become cynical and despondent (it's possible that this, too, is set to change).

As you can tell, some game characters were deeper than others, but that is no excuse. If the writers wanted to, they could have done what thousands of fans do, and fleshed out the characters starting from the base lines canon offers. The elements are there! It's just a matter of a little effort and respect towards canon! But there weren't. Instead, the characters were more or less flipped on their head, turned into OCs in all but name, because it's easier and allows them to reap the praises from the fans who think the games need to be "fixed".

I'm mostly just amazed by how consistent the pattern is. It's as if no character was deemed good enough as they were. As if the show went into IDW's opposite's direction and strived its best to be as far away as canon as possible... and better, ofc.

[samatheia229]

Gateway Fic or Ruining of Canon?: The Double-Edged Sword of Reading Fanfiction Without Knowing the Source Material

One thing you should know about me is this: I love Outsider POVs an unhealthy amount. I have a separate tab open for this specific tag on my browser and I obsessively reload it every few hours. There’s just something about them that uniquely tickles my brain in a way that other kinds of fics don’t. Maybe it’s some sense of schadenfreude, reading from this out-of-the-loop perspective while we, the readers, are in the know. The feeling of “I know something that you don’t.” Maybe it’s getting to see our favourite characters from a fresh perspective. 

In DC comic Outsider POVs, specifically Batman ones, we get to see what Gotham thinks of their resident vigilantes and how the Bats’ dynamics with each other looks like to an outsider, who doesn’t know the full extent of the intricacies of their relationships. 

There are a lot of reasons why I enjoy Outsider POVs, one of which is the main point of this post.

PART I: GATEWAY FIC

I really do owe it to the POV Outsider tag. Because of it, I have been introduced to so many new fandoms. They've been either the final push I needed to get into fandoms that I knew of but was never really interested in or blindside me and pull me into a new fandom entirely. 

Reading spooky eldritch Danny POVs finally got me into Danny Phantom. One bored scroll and random click introduced me to ROTTMNT, a new favourite of mine (as a Disney kid who grew up with 2012 airing and disliked it, suffice to say Rise's magic and vibrant art was what drew me in). I read a Julie and the Phantoms Outsider POV fic out of curiosity, which made me look it up, and the phenomenal music was the final nail in the coffin. (Please do yourself a favour and listen to the soundtrack.) The onslaught of Good Omens fics flooding the tag following the release of S2, not that I knew it at the time, prompted me to check it out, and lo’ and behold, I am waiting for S3 and praying for my cottagecore-husbands happy ending. Reading a social media AU for Red, White and Royal Blue pushed me to finally buy the book. 

They’ve also gotten me back into fandoms. I fell in love with ATLA again after reading a fic about the palace staff’s opinions on Fire Lord Zuko during the start of his reign; I got back into Assassination Classroom and Haikyuu because of delightful outsider fics. I also started reading Miraculous Ladybug fics again after dropping the whole thing mid-S3, which was a nice full-circle moment since MLB is what got me into fanfic in the first place.

The point is, Outsider POVs have been my gateway into a lot of amazing fandoms that I would not have otherwise checked out and my way back into fandoms that I haven’t been in for a while. 

However, reading fanfiction without knowing the source material can be a double-edged sword. And as of last month, I finally cut myself with it. 

PART II: RUINING OF CANON

Fanfiction is never really an accurate portrayal of canon. By very definition, it cannot be and it seldom is. Fanfiction has a warped lens — characters, their dynamics and the worlds in which they inhabit are written based on an author’s interpretation of the source material. Most fanfic authors actively try to change the source material when they find a part of it lacking or unsatisfactory. That’s the point of fanfiction. Fanfiction exists to explore the infinite possibilities of worlds that could have been, of timelines that never came to pass, of relationships that could have been forged and nurtured but never were. 

But what happens when you, as a reader, are exposed to fanon first? What happens when you end up liking fanon more than canon? 

The short answer: Disappointment and a smaller bank account.

The long answer: You could say that I had it coming. I never really liked dark fantasy, but I love every Six of Crows fanfic I’ve read so I finally decided to read the books. But, gods, I am struggling. And it sucks so much because I do love the characters and Ketterdam and the Suicide Squad-like concept. I can read fanfic for 5 hours straight but barely make my way through a single chapter. I tried switching to another book and coming back to it and still, I trudge through it. It’s terrible. Have I fallen for a romanticised, fanon version of SoC that delivers the found family of criminals that I was promised? Do the books not have that vibe and that’s why I can’t get into them, because I’ve been riding on false expectations?

This is a first for me. I have no issues with spoilers and such because I still enjoy knowing how we got to that point as much as I enjoy going in blindly. I learned the entirety of BNHA via osmosis by reading fanfiction but I still liked the anime when I watched it. Similarly, I read PJO fanfiction long before I read the series, and I still had a delightful time reading Percy's adventures. The fact that I’m not experiencing the same thing with SoC is truly, deeply upsetting. I’m still holding out hope since I'm already halfway through but I might have to DNF if this drags on for another month.

TLDR; There’s nothing wrong with reading fanfic of fandoms you’re not a part of. It might get you into it like the numerous times it did for me. But it could also end up with you liking the fics more than the source material. So, be warned, I guess. 

(Also, if someone has a solution to my SoC problem, do advise, please and thank you. DNF is a last resort.)