#his crime is that i Don't Want To Read About Him
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Wanted to paint some of my favorite characters, nothing more nothing less
[COMMISSIONS]
Way too much yapping like an embarrassing amount, the individual portraits and the template I used below vvv
I shouldn't be allowed to talk about my favorite characters- especially to people who (presumably) don't know them xjfkdk apart from the very popular ones ofc
ILLYA KURYAKIN (The man from U.N.C.L.E)
gay ass little Russian spy I love him he is so *dramatic* and a huge nerd and a Beatles fan and into fashion design- perfect pocket size blorbo ;w; also seeing a Russian character being given a positive leading role in an American tvshow from the 60s ?? Yes he lives in New York and works for UNCLE America.... But he is still a communist ?? Incredible ! Also I really like the fact he isn't given the cliché personality traits often given to Russian characters i e anger issues drinks a lot violent ect (looking at you shitty(imo) modern remake... What did you do to my little guy ;;). In a close contest with Spock for the "gayest man from tvshow" of the 60s..... And in my heart he is winning djdkd for me the gay subtext of muncle hits so much more because it's not a scifi show- it's closer to home, Napoleon and Illya were *like that* in the present day of the 60s, they were both human, and no alien fuckery made them go to the village more than once or play house in the suburbs or get attached ass up to get pegged on a regular basis... Truly a show that feels written by an old queen and a guy with the biggest fem dom fetish jkvjjkb (don't get me wrong tho I adore star trek tos and spirk too <3)
KUROO HAZAMA and PINOKO (Black Jack)
sometimes I rewatch some of the oavs from the 90s when I'm sad :) I had a huge phase a couple years back when I read nearly all the manga (should really finish it... Or reread the whole thing frankly), watched *all* the shows (bar young black jack, hated that shit) and idk I just love this venal bitch so much- him and his daughter and his conflicted feelings for his tboy ex that he still loves kfkfkf btw I'm dying for a modern take on this like please please please I'd love to see Kei Kisaragi's story rewritten a bit (trans character in the 70s sure was progressive but oh boy-), because him and black jack's relationship makes me so *weak*.... And maybe see him a bit more than in one story- anyway ! When it comes to his daughter Pinoko, it's very hit or miss- when the writers lean on the cute father adoptive daughter relationship it's great, when they lean more on the whole "she has a crush on him" (very much like a child in most case, and he *never* reciprocate thank god) and bring up the fact she is technically 18 a lot (she was an evil tumor trapped in her sister before he created a body for her- black jack shit dw), and she gets jealous of other women.... Well it's terrible and I'm uncomfy :(
EVA KANT (Diabolik)
Look.... You just can't show me danger diabolik 1968 and not expect me to become insane djdkdkdk she is so cool ;; !!! Her and her devious eel of a man (here as a panther, because even tho I haven't read the comic yet, I'm taking an educated guess that all the panther imagery is here to represent him, the lethal twunk always in the all black gimp suit... And if it's not then fuck my entire life ig fjfkkd), the cuntiest het couple you've ever seen, such freaks I love them ! Partners in crime that will blow up the tax offices of the whole country if you try to put a bounty on them <3 they are in the guilty faves category only because I'm this invested in these characters after 1 (one) movie fkfkf watched the first two remakes and was hmmm let's say underwhelmed, could have been worse but going after the 60s one ie peak cinema was hard... I went in fully invested in these heterosexuals and they still fucked up their romance and relationship ;; (don't spoil me the third one btw haven't seen it yet ! I know it's the yaoi one- which doesn't give me much hope for Eva tbh...) I'll soon start reading the comics tho ! Managed to find all twelve volumes of "Il grande Diabolik" in french for pretty cheap so I'm excited for that :D (might scan them and upload them online because omg I tried finding scans in *any* language and only found a dubious website that sold digital copies for 7€ a volume ??? What is this)
UTA (The Void / Тургор / Turgor / Tension)
Apathy girlyyyyy she just like me for real for real nfkfk what absolutely charmed me about her is yes her design, but more importantly her chamber's design (if you've never played the void, a sister's chamber is a space that represent her. You get a sense of who she is by exploring her chamber before finding her and talking to her soul it's great). The lonely island out at sea, her laying down on a suspended steel boat in a grotto, looking passively at the moon by a crack on the ceiling.... And the moon is looking back. Incredible ! I love this game so much
KIM KITSURAGI (Disco Elysium)
Do I really have to explain this one ? When I played the game with quiji I remember I kept saying "when Kim talks, we *listen*" djkdk we did get a good grade in Kim Kitsuragi and got him to dance in the church <3 this fucking centrist cop wormed it's way into my heart and many others because of course he did. The only Kim K in my eyes. Also funny anecdote : before I played Disco Elysium, I had one concept art masterclass where a kinda famous concept artist came to give advice, make us really stressed then give us a shitty grade.... And when I tell you this man looked so much like Kim ??? Same haircut, glasses, face with a scar *exactly* where Kim's portrait has a stark shadow on his cheek and he was dressed in an orange top- truly uncanny. Anyway, Kim is so fucking cool how does he do it
DARK VADOR (La guerre des étoiles)
*sight* not surprising if you know me... and to be clear when I say Vader I don't mean Anakin Skywalker, post barbecue only zouz here. I refuse to yap about this man djdkdk I already do that way to much in ao3 comment sections
And here is the template I used ! Don't know who made it tho sorry...
PS : all these where made in 2-3 hours each :D wanted to challenge myself by painting quickly, and I mostly (looking at the Eva Kant one that gave me trouble) succeeded !
#I FORGOT HIS SHITTY LITTLE MUSTACHE OMFG if you saw a clean shaven Kim for a second there no you did not#My favs are the Illya and Vader ones fuivbfd so proud of them#illya kuryakin#tmfu tv#the man from uncle#kuroo hazama#pinoko#black jack#eva kant#danger: diabolik#diabolik#the void#Тургор#turgor#tension#ice pick lodge#uta#kim kitsuragi#disco elysium#darth vader#star wars#star wars original trilogy#artists on tumblr#fanart#digital painting#portrait painting#art#my art#digital art#art template
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Quirkless Deku AU in which, after All Might tells Izuku he can't be a hero, Izuku takes the words to heart and decides to completely cut heroics out of his life, so he isn't reminded of his failed dream. He doesn't have any social media and doesn't read news articles about heroes. If a hero is mentioned on tv, he turns it off. He buys the same, non-sponsored groceries all the time, and he forks out the extra money to go ad-free on things like YouTube, so he never sees them in commercials. We know he's a thorough person, and he applies those skills, avoiding heroes to an impressive extent and just focusing on whatever new career path he set his eyes on (Maybe botany? But this isn't just like, basic flower shop AU. He's super smart, so my boy is probably breeding award-winning new species of orchids or some shit.)
As such, he ends up being probably the only person in Japan who has never heard of Todoroki Shouto.
They have some sort of meet-cute, and at first, Shouto can't figure out why this guy is pretending not to know who he is (is he trying to be polite, pretending Shouto is normal??), but eventually he realizes Izuku legitimately has no clue who he is, and Shouto is soooo enamoured, because Izuku is so nice and seems genuinely interested in him, and for the first time, Shouto knows it's all sincere and not someone trying to get close to him because he's famous. He becomes desperate to keep his profession a secret, leading to some comically close calls. But the longer it goes, the harder he falls, and Momo keeps insisting he has to tell Izuku the truth because he can't enter a serious relationship with this huge lie between them. But just when he's about to fess up, something happens that makes it clear to him that Izuku isn't just out of touch with popular culture, he is /actively/ avoiding heroes and dislikes hearing about them, which makes Shouto think he'll stop talking to him, and he doesn't know what to do, and now Jirou is helping Momo scold him, and he's so stressed.
Of course, the boys don't realize they know someone in common. Bakugou somehow lets the cat out of the bag, not knowing Shouto was keeping his heroics a secret. (Back to botany...maybe instead of orchids, Izu specializes in poisonous plants? And a new poison is involved in some sort of crime, and the police want him on as a consult, and Bakugou ends up involved on the heroics end of things, leading to a reunion with Izuku who he hasn't seen since middle school. Somehow Shouto comes up in conversation while they're working on the case.)
And then it all goes to shit, Idk what happens next. Izuku is more upset about being lied to than Shouto being a hero, and Shouto has to prove he wasn't just messing around. I feel like there's a scene in there where Izuku cries on his mom's lap, and Shouto gets an earful from her. They make up, of course, and start dating. Since this is one of my ideas, they probably get married in the epilogue.
#skyll rambles#tododeku#tddk#bnha#todoroki x midoriya#shouto x izuku#todoizu#todoroki x deku#tdiz#tddk au
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Every time someone comes on my post to criticize Elrondriel (Elrond/Galadriel) I take a look at their blog and it's basically this over and over again:
[TW rant following asks and recent comments/ If you like Sauron, don't read ]
It’s honestly so wild how some people will break their backs trying to construct anti-Elrondriel arguments, calling it “unrealistic” or “forced,” and then you scroll through their blogs, and it’s wall-to-wall ships that involve toxic relationships, villains gaslighting heroes into oblivion, or characters stabbing each other and calling it foreplay.
Like, bestie, let’s pause for a moment: you’re out here defending someone who canonically committed war crimes. Someone who thrived on manipulation, psychological warfare, and literal torture. You’re stanning a character whose moral compass is a black hole, and yet, two people who respect each other, understand one another on a profound level, and have a beautiful mix of shared history and personal growth is somehow a problem for you?
Seriously?
Let’s be real here: Sauron is not some “misunderstood, morally grey antihero.” He’s evil. Point blank.
No amount of Pinterest aesthetics, soft lighting, or "but he had a sad backstory!" montages is going to change the fact that Sauron is a villain.
Full stop.
You can slap a flower crown on a dark lord all you want, but it doesn’t make him any less of a genocidal megalomaniac with a penchant for psychological warfare and enthusiastically ruining everyone’s day for literal millennia.
And let’s talk about this "I can fix him" narrative that keeps popping up like an overwatered weed. Some of y’all really think you’re Bob the Builder in Middle-earth. Good for you and your DIY optimism, but call me when Home Depot starts stocking “redemption arcs” in aisle seven, because I’m pretty sure Sauron bought out the “betrayal and manipulation” section years ago and left the shelves empty.
Look, no one’s saying you can’t stan a villain. Loving a good antagonist is a fandom rite of passage! But at least own it.
Don’t try to repackage him as some misunderstood, "morally grey" cinnamon roll. Sauron wasn’t sitting in Barad-dûr journaling about his feelings or knitting regretful little scarves for the people he tormented. He was out there crafting deceptive jewelry and throwing existential crises at elves like party favors.
So if you’re into villains, cool. Embrace the chaos. Love the drama.
But don’t pretend your fave is the blueprint for healthy relationships and then turn around and criticize other ships for being “unrealistic.” The cognitive dissonance there is so intense, even Saruman couldn’t spin it into coherence.
Meanwhile, Elrond and Galadriel? Respect, trust, shared values, and deep emotional understanding. You know, actual relationship foundations. But sure, tell me again how that’s the unbelievable pairing while you write fanfic about Sauron redeeming himself through artisanal bread baking or whatever niche aesthetic you’ve latched onto this week.
It’s absolutely exhausting watching the performative moral superiority Olympics some people seem to be training for. They’ll twist themselves into pretzels to prop up their walking red-flag faves as “complex” and “misunderstood,” while taking every possible swipe at others’ preferences, labeling them “unrealistic” or “forced.” Babe, just own your tastes! No one’s standing at the fandom border, checking passports for problematic faves—except, apparently, you, with your clipboard of insecurities and a stopwatch set to full-on hypocrisy.
Like, you stan someone who literally manipulates entire civilizations for fun, but my ship of two emotionally mature adults who respect and uplift each other is “unrealistic” and "bothering you", "predatory"? Sure, Jan.
This energy is giving “gaslighting but make it fandom.” It’s the same vibe as insisting your favorite villain is actually a misunderstood angel while clutching pearls over two consenting adults making eye contact with genuine affection.
The funniest part is that no one even cares about your villain crushes! Love them! Embrace the morally bankrupt chaos they bring to your life!
Write a 500k fic about them redecorating Mordor with tasteful black-and-silver curtains while learning to love again! But please, for the love of Eru, stop pretending you’re the fandom’s moral compass while policing everyone else’s ships like you’re trying out for the Numenorean Guard!
And can we take a second to marvel at the sheer audacity of it all? You’re out here claiming the “high ground” while simultaneously bulldozing everyone else’s fun like you’ve been possessed by the spirit of Smaug on a bad day. It’s giving Mount Doom energy in a Hobbiton picnic space. If your moral superiority is so fragile that other people’s ships threaten it, maybe it’s time to sit down with a cup of tea (or molten lava, if that’s more your speed) and ask yourself: am I having fun, or am I just here to ruin it for others?
Let’s get one thing straight: he’s not "Lana Del Rey coded", no matter how many smoky aesthetics and moody playlists you slap on your blog.
Sauron isn’t out here wistfully gazing at the sea, writing poetry, and pining for a lost love.
He’s burning the sea and then gaslighting the fish into thinking it was their fault.
You can try to dress him up in melancholy vibes, but he’s still the guy who forged a ring to enslave the literal world. Chic villainy, but make it genocidal.
And let’s talk about this nonsense of calling people “vanilla” or “bland” for preferring loving, supportive ships over toxic dumpster fires. Like, what’s the point here?
Are you the fandom flavor police, walking around with a clipboard and handing out citations for people not loving chaos-coded messes? It’s okay to like loving ships, y’all.
It’s okay to ship people who actually heal each other instead of people who stab each other, literally and emotionally.
You have no idea why someone might gravitate toward wholesome, uplifting ships. Maybe it’s because they’ve experienced violence, toxicity, or manipulation in real life, and fiction is a space where they seek solace and safety.
Maybe they’re just tired of the “I can fix him” trope and prefer the revolutionary idea of “I love him because he’s already emotionally available/caring etc.” And that’s valid!
Calling them “prudes” or “boring” for wanting kindness and respect in their ships isn’t edgy; it’s just shitty.
Not everyone wants to write a five-act tragedy about manipulation and betrayal with a side of murder. Some people just want to see two characters fall in love, hold hands, and work together to save the world. And, shocker: that’s allowed!
Also, can we address how laughable it is to frame Sauron—or any villain, really—as some misunderstood tragic boy when he’s out here committing literal war crimes? Sauron isn’t brooding under a moonlit sky, sipping wine, and whispering, “No one understands me.” He’s torching villages while humming a jaunty tune about how much he loves power. He’s not your soft, angsty love interest. He’s the villain who’d probably betray you mid-sentence if it benefited him.
It’s honestly wild that you’re more bothered by people shipping two characters who respect and uplift each other than you are by someone stanning a genocidal maniac. Like, let’s have some priorities here. You do you, love your chaos ships, but maybe try not to insult people who don’t share your taste.
Everyone gets to enjoy fandom their way.
If it quacks like a duck and walks like a duck, it’s either a duck...or Quacknnatar slipping on his “harmless mentor” cosplay to trick you into forging world-ending jewelry. And I’m begging you—call him what he is! This man isn’t some misunderstood soft boy humming sad ballads to himself in the Forge of Doom. He’s a literal megalomaniac who saw a whole world of peace and thought, “You know what this needs? A tiny metal frisbee of destruction and me in charge.”
He’s not an edgy antihero. He’s not morally grey. He’s not the misunderstood star of an indie coming-of-age film where he cries in the rain about his daddy issues.
He’s the villain, babes. He’s the guy who’d toss you into Mount Doom with a cheery “It’s nothing personal!” while testing out which angle makes his armor look more intimidating.
You wanna say, “Oh, but Sauron’s complex!” Sure, he’s complex—like a Rube Goldberg machine designed specifically to ruin lives. He’s a liar. He’s manipulative. He’s the guy who sends you an email about inheriting a fortune if you “just click this link,” and somehow the fortune is your soul.
Let’s not act like he’s just a misunderstood elf trying his best, either. Quacknnatar came into Eregion wearing a smile and a giant neon sign that said, ‘Trust me, I’m definitely not evil!’
And y’all bought it like it was on clearance at the Middle-earth Costco!!!
He’s not tragic, he’s strategic.
You don’t need to psychoanalyze his actions to make him sound redeemable. He doesn’t need redemption—he needs a one-way ticket to the Void, express delivery.
So please, for the love of the Valar, stop wrapping him in Pinterest aesthetics and whispering, “I can fix him.”
You can’t.
Celebrimbor couldn’t.
Morgoth made him, and even Morgoth couldn’t deal with him by the end. He’s not your DIY project. He’s Middle-earth’s walking disaster, and no amount of soft lighting or melancholic playlists will change that.
Call him what he is: a liar, a manipulator, a villain. And if you still wanna stan him, fine, live your villain-loving life! Just own it. But please stop pretending he’s the misunderstood protagonist of some Tolkien soap opera. If he walks like a dark lord, talks like a dark lord, and schemes like a dark lord…he’s a dark lord, or he’s trying really hard to be. Ducks, dark lords, and Quacknnatar—you know ‘em when you see ‘em.
#elrondriel#galadriel#elrond x galadriel#galadriel x elrond#the rings of power#elrond peredhel#trop#rings of power#lotr rings of power#lord of the rings#galadriel rings of power#trop season 2#trop s2#trop spoilers#halbrand#sauron#annatar#I'm losing braincells it's not even funny anymore#CALL THE VILLAIN A VILLAIN
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name three good things about a character you hate
oh god when thinking "characters I hate" i can only think of ONE example: this motherfucker
i so rarely hate characters, even ones that are meant to be disliked, because i usually appreciate their presence in the story and how fun it is to dislike them, but joshu.... joshu is another story entirely. so uh, challenge mode, here we go:
i think nut king call genuinely has a really interesting power and design
the way he's written makes it really clear just how much of him being Like That is a result of his messy family situation and intergenerational trauma, and i really appreciate the nuance to show that sometimes well-intentioned families can fuck their kids up
[PART 8 SPOILER] giving yasuho his arm was nice i guess, shame about the Entire Rest of that scene
#to me his crime is worse than just Being Unlikeable:#his crime is that i Don't Want To Read About Him#and therefore every minute he spends on screen is agonizing time i could be spending with any of the other far more fun characters#he commits the sin of Being A Bad Character In A Structural Sense#which is 10x worse than any morally reprehensible actions#like shut up joshu the adults are talking and im trying to follow the plot#you have nothing to contribute#go away#literally the ONLY character i can think of that i've Hated in a long time#anyways i tried very hard to be nice#like i Understand why he's like that and i think it's a well written choice#it's very clear araki knew what he was doing and both wrote him to be unlikeable On Purpose#and also showed that he's the result of the whole mess of his family situation#so he's not entirely unsympathetic#just. ugh.
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'thats not his role in the story!' hm i wonder what the point of it is then. hm i wonder what the dead pixel scene means. hm i wonder what wrong organ are trying to say with the context of 'awesome male friendship' and 'corporate hell where the only woman onboard is constantly under ridicule, abused or forcibly forgotten yet is the catalyst' if not this. hm i wonder how curly's physical agony being a direct parallel to anya's mental agony, stripped of voice, agency, just like her, and being forced to watch what happens while not doing jack shit, just like he used to, plays a part in this. i wonder what the moral of him being the final girl says about living with the consequences of your inaction, because of sentimentality, because of status, career and social. hm i wonder whatever the fuck this game was trying to say. hm i wonder what else is on this person's blog Oh Lord there's yaoi penice.
#mouthwashing#mouthwashing spoilers#sa mention#dont go after this person but i hooooope they rethink. their view of the story.#but god im gonna squeeze lemons in my eyes soon#taking this game away from yall until you unlearn misogyny#ooooh curlys just sooo sweet poor thaaang oh my oh my youre looking sooo far into thissss haaahaaa#its all just a misunderstanding!!!! anya didnt speak clearly enough!!!! noooo its not on my beautiful blue eyed rascal hahaaa#ok look curlys an insane character i love analyzing him and i VERY MUCH dont want people to think im like villanizing the guy#the entire point is that otherwise pretty chill people can fuck up OF THEIR OWN FAULT AND BIAS and then learn. painfully. what not to do.#and by chill i also dont mean holy water pure ok. distinctions.#and id really hate people taking either side of the argument on curlys morality. esp considering his appearance (for both.)#just don't. fucking make baby ass black and white arguments#this game should be behind a childproof lock in the shape of a reading comprehension test abt crime and punishment#im super supportive of people trying to think outside the norm about art like mouthwashing and explaining their own musings#and talking with others and trying to understand how to argument their thoughts which is what the op of the post this was left on was doing#being genuinely curious and open#but brother i draw the line at so merrily denying the main fucking point of the character in the catalyst event#GOOD GOD make this game only accessible to 35+ yo's with no internet access#the contents of their blog were just the cherry on top#unblocking them in hopes they see this ig
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thinking about compiling screenshots of golden/silver age batman exclusively calling dick his ward to combat the allegations that it was “initially a father-child relationship”
#dc#batman#brudick#i don’t even ship it#i think i'm still mad at the poll when people were trying to refute the brudick points#by saying shippers are also biased and ignoring the history and that it really was a familial relationship early on#me the only asshole on this website enough of dumbass to try to read early batman “no it fucking wasn't”#if you hate the ship fine but don't back up your argument with complete lies#the pro-brudick camp has receipts which gives them way more validity than the haters#i'm sure somewhere out there there's dick grayson pre-crisis saying bruce is like a father to him#there's so many comics and i've barely scratched the surface#but i did read both the first golden age compilation book of batman and silver age world's finest compilation#and neither of them say anything like that#and no “his ward dick grayson” is how he's called constantly it's one of the stock phrases in the ever present narration#early comics fundamentally didn't understand they were a visual medium and are full of very tedious and unnecessary text panels#and to be fair each issue needed to function as an intro to someone who had never heard of batman and robin before so#“and his ward dick grayson”#every damn time#their relationship was adult man and his plucky kid sidekick he inexplicably hangs out with#which doesn't make sense and doesn't parallel to real life real social interaction#but neither does a man going in a batsuit to fight crime#and the out-of-universe explanation is because this comic was aimed at kids who were supposed to project onto dick grayson#and the kids want to be batman's kid-partner not his kid-son#it's not that complicated this trope still exists today#kid who should not be here but is because it's a kids' show/book/movie/etc#i stg i'm gonna become a brudick shipper out of spite at this point#and WHILE I'M COMPLAINING i am also going to be mad at the people who get all up-in-arms#about all the evil heroes doing child endangerment on their poor abused sidekicks#should there be kid heroes? no but cape comics would suck without them so stop complaining and enjoy yourselves#RL vigilantism is also always bad stop bringing real world standards into this they don't apply
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Interlude 2 Live Reactions
(This is me, writing reactions as I read, because why the fuck not. They're not complete, mature thoughts taken after I sit back and evaluate what I've read. Consider them as such)
There were very few things, in Victoria Dallon’s estimation, that were cooler than flying. The invisible forcefield that extended a few millimeters over her skin and clothes just made it better. The field kept the worst of the chill from touching her, but still let her feel the wind on her skin and in her hair. Bugs didn’t splat against her face like they did against car windshields, even when she was pushing eighty miles an hour.
I mean, there's a reason why people objected to Victoria being the MC of Ward way back when. Her first introduction really doesn't jive with the rest of Worm's general tone, sets the mood, etc. Collateral Damage Barbie and all.
Really, Ward may take place after Worm, and may be in the same verse, etc, but it's not a sequel in the conventional sense. it's not telling the same story, the theming and narrative is wildly different - plus, Worm is 1.6 Million words long. 1.6 Million is over 3 times longer than Lord of the Fucking Rings. That's not a Book, that's a series. Ward isn't a sequel to Worm, it's a new series in the same world, after the previous series. Which is definitely a thing.
Granted, this is nitpicking, but Ward sucks, so fuck Ward.
Anyway - this opener for Vicky here does set a tone for her. I know she 'gets better' even within Worm itself, etc, but at this point, all the reader really knows (bar spoilers) is that some heroes are apparently dicks, and some villains are apparently halfway nice people. I'm going to guess one of the main purposes of this interlude (since, if I have picked up things right, is an instance of Amy healing another one of Vicky's victims) is to further the case, to the reader, that the heroes aren't all bright and shiny.
(To be clear, based on my fic reading/wiki walking/reddit thread reading, I am actually a fan of Victoria Dallon overall)
She stayed in that kneeling position for just heartbeats, letting her platinum curls and the cape that was draped over one of her shoulders flutter in the wake of air that had followed her descent. She met the eyes of her quarry with a steely glare. She’d practiced that landing for weeks to get it right.
We see her reveling in her power in a way Taylor never does, never wants to. We also see her being an overdramatic teenager, but then, If I'd had that sort of power when I was her age (17? 18?) I'd also be overdramatic as fuck, so I'm not blaming her.
“I didn’t do anything,” the man snarled. “Andrea Young!” Victoria raised her voice. As she shouted, she exercised her power. The man quailed as though she’d slapped him. “A black college student was beaten so badly she needed medical attention! Her teeth were knocked out! You’re trying to tell me that you, a skinhead with swollen knuckles, someone who was in the crowd watching paramedics arrive with an expression bordering on glee, you didn’t do anything!?” “I didn’t do nothing worth caring about,” he sneered. His bravado was tempered by a second look over his shoulder, as though he’d very much like to be elsewhere right that moment.
I mean, no one ever accused Neo-Nazis of being smart, but you do know who this is, you little shit, right? You may not care, but she does, so keep on denying it. It won't work, but you have to at least try.
God, his stupidity almost offends me more than his racism.
For just a moment, she contemplated slamming him up against a wall. It would have been fitting and satisfying to shove him hard enough against the brick to crack it, then drop him into the dumpster that sat at the wall’s base.
Intrusive thoughts, entirely understandable.
“I think it’s a safe bet to say you’re a member of Empire Eighty-Eight,” she told him, meeting his eyes with a hard stare, “or at least, you’ve got some friends who are. So here’s what’s going to happen. You’re going to either tell me everything the triple-E’s have been up to, or I’m going to break your arms and legs and then you’re going to tell me everything.”
Well. Not a great look, even as an empty threat, Victoria. Not a great look at all.
“Fuck you, you can’t touch me. There’s laws against that shit,” he blustered, staring fixedly over one shoulder.
Okay, so I know police brutality still happens on Earth-Bet, so does this guy really think this will work?
(also, why is it in superhero fiction superheroes always seem to be better regulated and more likely to actually be punished than cops? Apart from author fiat, I mean? Probably Police Unions are a huge contributing factor, tbh)
Her body thrummed with current – waves of energy that anyone in her presence would experience as an emotional charge of awe and admiration. For those with a reason to be afraid of her, it would be a feeling of raw intimidation instead.
Ah yes. The Aura. Nothing ethically dubious about this. Aura Theory may not be true, but really, wtf Vicky. Don't go running this thing like it's Candy Crush on a boring Thursday Night.
Was Candy Crush around in 2011? Does Earth Bet have Candy Crush?
He was utterly for still for long enough that Victoria had begun to worry that he’d somehow snapped his neck or broken his spine as he’d rolled. She was relieved when he groaned and began to pull himself to his feet. “Ready to talk?” she asked him, her voice carrying down the alley. She didn’t move forward from where she hovered in the air, but she did let herself drop closer to the ground.
There is a reason Vicky's detractors (and even some of her fans) call her 'Cop' as a middle name.
Like, character doing torture in fiction happens, and in a story like Worm, might even still be an overall good person, but someone like Glory Girl really shouldn't fucking be doing this shit. Not with New Wave's whole schtick and her whole general... vibe as a superhero.
Then again, that she's doing this despite that is probably the whole goddamn point of the interlude.
What was this asshole thinking? That she would just let him go? That, what, she would just bend to his witless lack of self preservation? That she was helpless to do any real harm to him? To top it off, he was going to insult her and try to walk away?
Shards, Shards, my dudes. my guys - DON'T GIVE TEENAGERS THIS SORT OF POWER
This time, he didn’t get up. “Fuck,” she swore, “Fuckity fuck fuck.” She flew to him and checked for a pulse. She sighed, and then headed to the nearest street. She found the street address, grabbed her cell from her belt and dialed. “Hey sis? Yeah, I found him. That’s, uh, sort of the problem. Yeah. Look, I’m sorr- ok, can we talk about this later? Yeah. I’m at Spayder and Rock, there’s this little road that runs behind the buildings. Downtownish, yeah. Yeah? Thanks.” Victoria returned to the unconscious skinhead, checked his pulse, and listened intently for changes in his breathing. It took a very long five minutes for her sister to arrive. “Again, Victoria?” the voice disturbed her from her contemplations.
Again.
One word. Conveys so much character and worldbuilding, doesn't it?
“Use my codename, please,” Victoria told the girl. Her sister was as different from her as night was from day. Where Victoria was beautiful, tall, gorgeous, blonde, Amy was mousy. Victoria’s costume showed off her figure, with a white one-piece dress that came to mid-thigh (with shorts underneath) an over-the shoulder cape, high boots and a golden tiara with spikes radiating from it, vaguely reminiscent of the sun’s rays or the statue of liberty. Amy’s costume, by contrast, was only a shade away from being a burka. Amy wore a robe with a large hood and a scarf that covered the lower half of her face. The robe was alabaster white and had a medic’s red cross on the chest and the back.
Like, I've seen people give Wildbow grief for describing Amy's outfit as like a burka, and it wasn't a great choice of words, but is evocative.
He really should have picked another term tho.
Also! AMY! AMY! My Poor Borbo Sopping Wet Babygirl Little Meow Meow Who Did Nothing* Wrong! Finally she appears! Gimmie Gimmie Gimmie!
*As a necessary clarification for people who are Wildbow or who otherwise don't understand Fandom and/or tumblr Humor, yes, Amy of course did so fucking much that is wrong. I really shouldn't have to clarify this, but this fucking fandom (and this fucking Author)
“Our identities are public,” Amy retorted, pushing the hood back and scarf down to reveal brown frizzy hair and a face with freckles spaced evenly across it. “It’s the principle of the thing,” Victoria replied. “You want to talk about principles, Glory Girl?” Amy asked, in the most sarcastic tone she could manage, “This is the sixth – sixth! – time you’ve nearly killed someone. That I know about!” “I’m strong enough to lift a SUV over my head,” Victoria muttered, “It’s hard to hold back all the time.”
Yes, but that's also why you don't... like... do those things, Vicky? If you can't be sure you will hold back, then don't do a thing where if you don't hold back, you leave a guy like this. At least if it's not an actual life and death situation.
Amy's not wrong here. Six fucking times is a lot, for a girl who hasn't had her powers for more than a few years.
Carol? Carol?! Who said you could let your teenage wrecking ball patrol around like this unsupervised? Caaaarol!
(God, Carol is just... the worst fucking mother all around, isn't she?)
“Look, can you just fix him?” Victoria pleaded. “I’m thinking I shouldn’t,” Amy said, quietly. “What?” “There’s consequences, Vicky. If I help you now, what’s going to stop you from doing it again? I can call the paramedics. I know some good people from the hospital. They could probably fix him up alright.”
I mean, on the list of things that's weighing Amy down, all the people that she's healed for Victoria is probably a bit lower down, but it doesn't help.
Don't help her Amy. I know you will, and I love you anyway, but don't. Please don't. You're right. Vicky does need to learn.
“I know you’re not keen on the superhero thing, but you’d really go that far? You’d do that to us? To me?”
Look who took guilt redirection classes from Mommy!
(Not that this is like, some horrible sin revealing Vicky as a garbage person, teenagers learning moral lessons from their parents is inevitable, and Carol, again, suuuuucks. Bad mom, bad superhero, bad human. All my homies hate Carol.)
Amy pointed a finger at her sister, “That’s not me. It’s not my fault we’re at this point. It’s you. You’re crossing the line, going too far. Which is exactly what people who criticize New Wave are scared of. We’re not government sponsored. We’re not protected or organized or regulated in the same way. Everyone knows who we are under our masks. That means we have to be accountable. The responsible thing for me to do, as a member of this team, is to let the paramedics take him, and let the law do as it sees fit.”
Again. She's really not fucking wrong. If Vicky makes a bad first showing for a work like this, Amy makes a really good first showing.
“My adoptive family,” Amy mumbled into Victoria’s shoulder, “And stop trying to use your frigging power to make me all squee over how amazing you are. Doesn’t work. I’ve been exposed so long I’m immune.” “It hurts,” the man moaned. “I’m not using my power, dumbass,” Victoria told Amy, letting her go, “I’m hugging my sister. My awesome, caring and merciful sister.”
Being exposed to a mind altering power so much that you're 'immune' is still not the sort of thing a person should really be going through at all, you get that, right? Vicky? You do get that, right?
Are you really not? You sure? Because you just did lose control of your other power (super strength) a few minutes ago.
Aura Theory isn't true, but the Aura is still 17 kinds of bullshit, Vicky.
Amy frowned at Victoria, “I’ll heal him. But this is the last time.”
Amy, I love you, I love you to pieces and to the moon and back, and I wish for nothing but happiness for you, but you and I both know this is not the last time.
Amy leaned over the man and touched her hand to his cheek, “Slingshot break to his ribs, fractured clavicle, broken mandible, broken scapula, fractured sternum, bruised lung, broken ulna, broken radius -“ “I get the point,” Victoria said. “Do you?” Amy asked. Then she sighed, “I wasn’t even halfway down the list. This is going to take a little while. Sit?”
Vicky, you're really not sounding like someone who is getting it. You really should be hearing Amy's whole list.
Like, I get that Vicky's probably not supposed to be coming off great in this scene, and if so, task fucking successful.
“Better than ever, physically,” Amy replied, “I grew her new teeth, fixed everything from the bruising to the scrapes, and even gave her a head to toe tune-up. Physically, she’ll feel on top of the world, like she had been to a spa and had the best nutritionist, best fitness expert and the best doctor all looking after her for a straight month.”
Powers.
Are.
Bullshit.
“Yeah, yeah. Not can’t. Won’t. It’s complicated and I don’t trust myself not to screw something up when I’m tampering with someone’s head. That’s it, that’s all.”
This isn't the (only) reason Amy has this rule, of course, but it's a damn fucking good one.
As far as she was concerned, Amy was doing herself a disservice by not practicing using her powers on the brain. It was only a matter of time before her sister found herself in a situation where she needed to do some emergency brain surgery and found herself incapable. Amy, for her part, refused to even discuss it.
...On the other hand.
Vicky's not wrong. Holy shit, is she not wrong. And not just for reasons stated, but for a bunch of other reasons Vicky doesn't know about.
The problem with rigid rules, and pinning your entire sense of morality to them is that if you break one, and you made it so rigid it's brittle, the whole moral edifice falls down.
Amy, babygirl, please. Someone needs to get this girl into at college level ethics course, STAT. She needs a moral worldview that she didn't inherit from Carol that isn't so black and white and rigid yet brittle.
“I… sue you, he gasped out, then managed an added, “Whore.” “Try it. I’d just love to see a skinhead with a few broken bones go up against a superheroine whose mom just happens to be one of the best lawyers in Brockton Bay. You know her, right?”
Aaand back to the Police Brutality analogues.
“And erectile dysfunction,” Amy said, just loud enough for the thug to hear her, “You fractured your ninth vertebra. That’s going to affect all nerve function in extremities below your waist. If I leave you like you are, your toes will always feel a little numb, and you’ll have a hell of a time getting it up, if you know what I mean.”
Always the best way to get to a guy poisoned on the kind of hypertoxic 'masculinity' that fascism and adjacent ideologies fill their supporters with: Go after what they love most.
“I have an honorary medical license,” Amy told him, her expression solemn, “I’m not allowed to fuck with you about stuff like that. Hippocratic oath.”
Amy Dallon, Bullshittter Extraordinaire :rofl:
“This guy, Coil. Don’t know what his powers are, but he’s got a private army. Ex-military, all of ’em. At least fifty, Kaiser said, and every one of ’em has top notch gear. Their armor’s better than kevlar. You shoot ’em, they’re back up in a few seconds. ‘Least when you shoot a pig, you can be pretty sure you broke a few ribs. But that’s not the fucked up thing. These guys? They’ve got these lasers hooked up to the machine guns they carry around. If they don’t think bullets are doing it, or if they’re after people who are behind cover, they fire off these purple laser beams that can cut through steel. Tear through any cover you’re standing behind and burn through you too.”
Aaaah Thomas Fuckface Calvert. First introduction of what is probably the closest thing Worm has to like a real 'main villain'. Jack Slash is a close second, but it takes too long for him to be relevant for that to count. Calvert looms over the entire narrative from midway through Arc 2 until he dies in what... I'm going to guess from what I know is somewhere in Arc 20? 21?
The skinhead laughed, then winced, “Are you dense, girl? Everyone’s going to make a play. It’s not just the major gangs and teams that are looking for a slice of the pie, there. It’s everyone. The Docks are ripe for the taking. The location’s worth as much money as you’d get downtown. It’s the go to place if you want to buy black market. Sex, drugs, violence. And the locals are already used to paying protection money. It’s just a matter of changing who they pay to. The Docks are rich territory, and we’re talking the potential for a full scale fucking war over it.”
Nature abhors a vacuum, and that's one reason you have to be careful about taking out whole gangs.
He continued, “You want to know my guess? Empire Eighty Eight is going to take the biggest slice of the Docks, because we’re strong enough to. Coil’s going to stick his thumb in just to spite us, ABB is going to hold on to some. But you’re also going to have a bunch of the little guys trying to take something for themselves. Über and Leet, Circus, the Undersiders, Squealer, Trainwreck, Stain, others you’ve never heard of? They’re going to stake out their ground, and one of two things is going to happen. Either there’s war, in which case civilians get hurt and things get bad for you, or there’s alliances between the various teams and solo villains and shit gets even worse for you.”
Chatty (and surprisingly insightful) little shithead, isn't he? Where were all these brains earlier when he was Mouthing Off to Alexandria Jr?
“Try it. My sister just healed you… most of you, with a touch. Did you ever wonder what else she could do? Ever think, maybe, she could break you just as easily? Or change the color of your skin, you racist fuck? I’ll tell you this, I’m not half as scary as my little sister is.”
Does Vicky realize how true this is? Like, really, truly, how easily her sister could become an S-class threat?
Also, just once, it would be funny as fuck if Amy did make a member of E88 black. Horrifying implications, but funny as fuck.
“I’ll be good. I’ll be better,” Victoria promised as she dialed with one hand.
If I'm Amy, I'm thinking 'You mean that now'.
But again. What 17 year old doesn't say "i'll do better" and, even when they mean it, sometimes fail?
“Amy!” Victoria laughed, hugging her sister with one arm, “Weren’t you just saying you weren’t going to mess with people’s heads?”
She said she wouldn't mess with their brains.
(Not that this shithead racist fucker seems to have many of those)
Overall, fucking love this Interlude, and even if I didn't have Amy Dallon Brainrot™ as a pre-existing condition, I think I would anyway.
But ooof. So many fucking oofs, given where I know the story is going.
#Worm#Wormblr#Victoria Dallon#Empire Eighty Eight#Amy Dallon#Kylia Reads Worm#Interlude 2#Anti-Wildbow#technically#But seriously the man genuinely doesn't understand fandom or what treating a character like a woobie actually means about how they see the#characters cannonical crimes and I really don't want to go on a rant about this and all I have to go on is his reddit posts I've read but o#this specific subject fuck him#Anti-Carol Dallon
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'Trapped in the end!' said Sam bitterly, his anger rising again above weariness and despair. 'Gnats in a net. May the curse of Faramir bite that Gollum and bite him quick!' 'That would not help us now,' said Frodo.
Sword in hand Sam went after him. For the moment he had forgotten everything else but the red fury in his brain and the desire to kill Gollum. But before he could overtake him, Gollum was gone. Then as the dark hole stood before him and the stench came out to meet him, like a clap of thunder the thought of Frodo and the monster smote upon Sam's mind.
Now he tried to find strength to tear himself away and go on a lonely journey – for vengeance. If once he could go, his anger would bear him down all the roads of the world, pursuing, until he had him at last: Gollum. Then Gollum would die in a corner. But that was not what he had set out to do. It would not be worth while to leave his master for that. It would not bring him back. Nothing would.
Sam and vengeance in today's entry
#idk i have Thoughts about this... rambles ahead...#there's an interesting arc here with how sam approaches his feelings of vengeance in this entry#starting with the first quote. frodo's response to sam is so brief and doesn't get much time to sit with all the action going on#but i feel like it speaks volumes#at least in showcasing the different points they stand on#sam centers his resentment and feelings of revenge... he's quick to get frustrated and immediately goes for threatening gollum#meanwhile frodo is focused on getting out. he doesn't have time to nurse anger nor does he want to#it feels like he's advising sam to move past it because he knows it's futile to stay stuck in those feelings#then there's sam's fight with gollum#after days and weeks of building tension from his mistrust towards gollum... this is where the dam finally breaks#sam's been feeding into his resentment for SO LONG it's no wonder he gets into this state of blind fury towards the end#he set himself up to seek vengeance the moment he gets the opportunity#which in some way i'm sure does help him in fending off gollum... that strength had to come from somewhere#but once he's staved him off he continues to fixate that anger on gollum and forgets what he originally set out to do-- protect frodo#and then we're left with the final quote...#it isn't until sam has (perceived to have) lost everything that he is able to come to the conclusion that vengeance won't serve him#...a lesson learned a little too late?? maybe?? no?? it feels cruel to say that#i definitely do not want to take the position that sam was responsible for what happened to frodo#he was pinned in a horribly desperate situation and couldn't do much once gollum attacked#i don't think much would've changed if he hadn't had his moment of fury with chasing gollum#anyways newbie here-- i haven't read anything ahead from here so idk what character arcs await sam#but i'm interested to see if this is later built upon or acknowledged#end of rambles skdfjgkdjsfg#lotr newsletter#lotr newsletter march 13th#EDIT: I forgot to space the quotes out 😭#not a crime but they can get confusing to read when scrunched together hrnnnn
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✧ I won’t really write descriptions for these, but see original post tags for explanation/commentary on the song snippet ✧
#This was literally just off the top of my head improvising words that rhyme (as is obvious from me rhyming the word#'on' with the word.... 'on' (what's going ON my name is ON' etc. lol) but after actually thinking about it this kind of seems a little#sinister?? why is his name on the news? why is he fleeing town? makes me think of of some guy who's killed#someone or is finally getting caught for his crimes so one last stop before he flees town is he returns home to his husband (who he#calls Hummingbird sometimes I guess) and is like 'erm... tee hee.. I can't tell you why but I shall leave. farewell' etc.#also 'I guess I could show you' having a bad implication like.. yeah I COULD show you the dead bodies and evidence of my crimes#but I will spare you from that and simply let you live in ignorance (at least until you see the news at 10.. but I will be long gone by#then.. eating green beans somewhere lol).. ANYWAY.. 100% unintentional but you could actually almost read some sort of meaning#out of this one. until the green beans part ghhbjb.. I try so hard for everything to just be meaningless gibberish#that has no connection but I suppose sometimes a connection can be made. alas.. a perhaps accidentally Dark seeming song snippet#OR alternate theory. uhh... actually his name is on the news for a good reason. he donated all his money to charity and now#he's fleeing town just because he's embarassed to be publicly recognized.. a shy philanthropist OR an evasive murderer#BOTH versions of him like green beans. which is the truth? up to listener interpretation lol.. Also I#still find it immensely funny for some reason to do this lower sounding style of singing. which not that I really care about like having a#Broad Range or something since I don't think it'd even be possible to have one in my position (as someone#with zero musical/vocial training/etc.) BUT because part of what I find fun is like.. experimenting with all different sorts of sounds#and also doing choir type stuff. So then I do want to be able to sound like multiple people.. if that makes sense? I want to have a really#high voice and the a really low voice and have them sing together and it sounds like a duet or something when it's really just one person.#etc. Thus have a passing interest in learning to adopt different singing styles if I can. because then that's funny and I can do a wider#variety of things like it's all different characters or something as if all the song snippets are done by different people or etc.#(maybe just part of the nature of it being experimental).#And the low voice is always the goofiest sounding to me and very 'fake' seeming I guess#like blatantly is just someone putting on an affect or whatever but still in a kind of fun jokey way lol#beepo tag
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raven and jgy are also kind of complete opposite characters bc jgy's entire teenage and young adult life was about trying to find a way to become his evil father's right hand man and raven's entire teenage and young adult life was about avoiding her evil father's attempts to make her his right hand woman.
#so mdzs is kind of like if there was a side character who was like raven except it was raven whose dad hated her and she wanted his love#so bad that she got so smart and good at committing evil crimes in the hopes that he would notice and love her#but then he only used her and never loved her and in the end she realized he was just a piece of shit rapist and killed him plus 29 women#AND THEN her old best friend. whose older brother/father figure she killed while working for her own dad. knew what she had done#and concocted a whole plan that would out raven as evil (and in mdzs this raven cares so much about her reputation like sooo much)#if raven did not kill herself. and then the friend changed her mind (its a girl friend if raven is a girl) and tricked raven's best friend#into killing her. and also the old friend had dug up arella's body and destroyed it.#the end :)#ALSO ON THE OTHER HAND. so ntt is like what is jgy was raised by a cult who taught him cultivation but made him feel guilty about it#and that he had to use it to help people or he was evil. bc he was born evil and has to change it#and he has no friends and no mother. they didnt even let him talk to his mother#and he realizes that in order to save the world from himself he has to leave his mother and everything he knows#and he can never go back. and the people he finds to help him don't understand him and he doesn't understand them#and he still has to use his cultivation to help people and everytime he does it hurts him#and he thinks he made a mistake to leave his home because his evil father is getting even closer and closer and everything hurts so much#and it is so much harder now to not be angry. and he cant ask anyone for help because he left behind the person who would always tell him#how to get rid of emotions#THE END i dont actually know the end of raven's story alskdjf havent read that far#jgy#raven
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Discworld is an interesting beast in the age of ACAB. Like, the city watch books are a story about police and the way in which a good police force can help and protect people. Which would make it copoganda. And I'm not going to say that the City Watch books are completely free of copoganda, but they also do something interesting that fairly few stories about heroic police officers do, and I think it has a lot to do with Samuel Vimes. A lot of copoganda stories like, say, Brooklyn 99, are perfectly capable of portraying cops as cruel, bigoted, and greedy, but our central cast of characters are portrayed as good people who want to help their communities. The result is that the bad cops are portrayed as an aberration, while most cops can be assumed to be good people doing a tough job because they want to help protect people from the nebulous evil forces of "Crime". The police are considered to be naturally heroic. Pratchett does something very interesting, which is provide us with Vimes' perspective, and present us with an Unnaturally heroic police force. In Ahnk-Morpork, the natural state of the watch is a gang with extra paperwork. It's the place for people who, at best, just want a steady paycheck and at worst want an excuse to hit people with a truncheon. Rather than be an army defending people from the forces of Crime, the Watch is described as a sort of sleight-of-hand, big burly watchmen in shiny uniforms don't stand around in-case a Crime happens in their vicinity, they stand around to remind people that The Law exists and has teeth. The Watchmen are people, when danger rears it's head, their instinct is to hide and get out of the way. When faced with authority, their instinct is to bow to it out of fear of what it might do to them if they don't. Carrot is a genuine Hero, but his natural heroism is presented as an aberration. Normal Cops don't act like Carrot does. The fact that the Watch ends up acting like a Heroic Police Force is largely due to the leadership of Sam Vimes, but Vimes himself is a microcosm of the Watch. The base state of Sam Vimes would be an alchoholic bully of an officer, one who beats people until they confess to anything because that makes his job easier. Vimes The Hero is a homunculous, an artificial being created by Sam Vimes fighting back all those instincts and FORCING himself to behave as his conscience dictates. Vimes doesn't take bribes or let his officers do the same because, damnit, that sort of thing shouldn't happen, even if doing so would make things a lot easier. Vimes doesn't run towards sounds of screaming because he WANTS to, he forces himself to do so because somebody needs to. It's best summed up in Thud “Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? Your Grace.” “I know that one,” said Vimes. “Who watches the watchmen? Me, Mr. Pessimal.” “Ah, but who watches you, Your Grace?” said the inspector with a brief little smile. “I do that, too. All the time,” said Vimes. “Believe me.”
In the hands of another writer, or another series, this exchange would be weirdly dismissive. To whom should the police be accountable to? Themselves, shut up and trust us. But from Vimes, it's a different story. Vimes DOES constantly watch himself, and he doesn't trust that bastard, he's known him his entire life. The Heroic Police are not a natural state, they're an ideal, and ahnk-morpork only gets anywhere close. Vimes is constantly struggling against his own instincts to take shortcuts, to let things slide, but he forces himself to live up to that ideal and the Watch follows his example. Discworld doesn't propose any solutions to the problems with policing in the real world. We don't have a Sam Vimes to run the NYPD and force them to behave. We don't have a Carrot Ironfounderson. But it's at least a story about detectives and police that I can read without feeling like I'm being sold propaganda about the Thin Blue Line.
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Last spring my neighbour asked if I could let Pirlouit mow the grass around his barn from time to time, which Pirou was happy to do at first but if I left him there several days in a row he got pretty sad about being alone (lots of wistful, melancholy braying). So this year when my donkey was hired for this job again, I went for a different formula: for the past few weeks I've been bringing all the animals to the neighbour's barn for an hour of landscaping services now and then at apéritif time.
The fence is extremely not Pampe-proof so I have to have my apéritif while sitting on the road in a strategic position from which I can toss a stick in her direction if she tries to escape, but other than that I've been really enjoying this peaceful evening ritual, just sitting there reading and watching the animals while feeling like I'm doing my neighbour a favour. Pirlouit doesn't get all the grass to himself anymore but I've learnt that he prefers to be rich in friends than in food.
You'll notice that Merricat is present in every photo, looking alert. She too has been hired, but for the thankless job of Thought Police. She may look like she's just napping on the warm asphalt with not a care in the world...
... but she is working! Keeping an eye on the llamas, always.
I've discovered that in a specific context my three cats can act as precogs and warn me of Pampe's future crimes. My theory is that they developed this skill because of Poldine, who loves cats. Any cat who enters the pasture will soon be noticed and (lovingly) chased by Poldine, who wants kisses. Cats not only do not want llama kisses, they don't differentiate between individual llamas. They are all potential kissers. So even if it looks like she's all relaxed, Merricat is constantly monitoring where the llamas are and what they seem to be planning. If we are on the other side of a fence and Pampe approaches it a bit too slyly, Merricat will jump to her feet, ready to flee (and I will toss one of my anti-Pampe sticks, and say NON.)
Merricat and I are a very good team! We've foiled several of Pampe's plots, but we need to be on the road for Merricat to remain wary (if we were in the pen Pampe's escape attempts would involve getting away from us and the cat wouldn't care.) Cars are rare so it's okay (plus it's so quiet you can always hear them coming), and on the few occasions when someone showed up and asked why I was having apéritif on the road, I pointed at Pampe and they were like, "Ah! Didn't see her here. Good luck!"
"Hedgehog-moss, you're exaggerating. Pampe can't be that—"
She is! She is. And she always seems to notice when Merricat is on a bathroom break and I'm absorbed in a book.
There was one evening though, when she got distracted by a fascinating new idea. I don't claim to know what's going on in this llama's head (except when she's looking at a fence, then it's easy) but as you can see, once I brought the animals to the barn Poldine started eating flowers, Pirlouit started eating grass, and Pampe started eating the wall.
After a moment she slowly circled the barn, then stopped and lay down right next to it, settling down in a comfortable position but with focused ears and her head still turned towards the wall. It was suspicious behaviour, but on the other hand she now looked so uninterested in the road that I decided to take a risk and run home to bring back some dinner—and she didn't move while I was away! I even brought Pandolf, who is usually banned from these soirées because he would disturb my Merricat alarm system. He was happy to be finally included.
It's unclear if Pampe was eating the wall, talking to the wall, or carefully examining various parts of the wall as Step 1 of 27 of a complex plan only she understands, but she stuck close to the barn all evening instead of lying in wait by the fence so I was able to have a picnic in the grass rather than on the road, which felt more bucolic. I know that "Pampérigouste has a new, mysterious project" is a worrying sentence but at this early stage (feasibility study) it felt to me and Merricat like a little holiday!
#crawling along#if you look at the Pampe & The Wall photos you can see the adorable little goatee i gave poldine when i sheared her <3#it suits her she looks very elegant
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It's three in the morning and the sound of your phone vibrating against the bed wakes you from your peaceful slumber. You lazily reach for the blinding light next to you, instantly knowing who's on the other end when you see the blue diamond emoji.
"Hello..."
You were very much asleep, the raspiness in your voice making it that much more evident.
"Hey, sorry to wake you. Are you okay to talk for a bit?"
Satoru sounds like he's wide awake.
"Don't worry about it. What's up?"
You roll onto your side, your phone between your ear and your pillow. If you close your eyes for more than three seconds, you'll fall asleep again.
There's a slight pause between your response and his. Maybe the signal is bad or he didn't hear you.
"Is everything alright, Satoru?"
"I can't sleep."
He responds quickly this time. His tone didn't change. He didn't sound like he was in distress or too worried about the fact.
"Oh. Uh... have you tried drinking some chamomile tea? I personally don't like it, but when I need to rest, I suck it up and force myself to drink a cup."
He chuckles on the line. You always do what is best for you, even if it's not something you particularly enjoy.
"I think i'm just missing you a lot. Can I come over?"
It was strange to think he hadn't tried a tea remedy for his inability to sleep, but who were you to tell him that? Sleep deprivation does things to people.
"Right now? It's a little late, don't you think?"
You blink slowly, trying to adjust your blurry vision in the dark.
"I promise I won't fall asleep behind the wheel. I really want to see you. Please say yes."
You shut your eyes tightly and open them, your vision clearing up a little. When have you ever said 'no' to him? He always manages to change your mind when you do.
You sigh.
"Okay. You have the spare key to my apartment. I'm going back to sleep."
"I'll be there in like fifteen minutes. Love you, bye!"
You can hear the joy in his tone. He was genuinely so uncomfortable being alone with himself, that he had to wake you up so late at night to invade your space.
–
You knocked out again, once you hung up the phone. You were in such deep sleep that you didn't even notice when Satoru got to your apartment, or when he entered your room.
You did feel the bed weigh down when he laid down next to you, and your nose couldn't ignore his sweet, sweet scent.
"Baby," he whispered. "I'm here."
"Okay, now go to sleep," you mumble, your eyes still closed.
"Come here." He effortlessly turns you over and pulls you close, lifting your leg over his hip. His hand went up to your face, caressing your delicate, peaceful features before scattering kisses all over it, making sure to elongate the duration of the ones he leaves on your lips.
"Baby," he coos. "Come on, kiss me back."
He's like a dog—constantly begging for your attention. The thought makes you crack a smile, one Satoru does not miss.
"I know you're awake." He smiles, putting your leg back in place, before rolling over until he's on top you.
"Fucking hell, 'toru," you break, cracking up at how he had no remorse after crushing your body.
"There's my pretty baby. I'm so glad you're awake now."
"It's your fault," you grumble.
"If wanting to love you is a crime, then throw me in the slammer and toss the key." His nose dove into your neck, inhaling your scent deeply. "You're just so pretty, and you're all mine."
His affection was starting to evolve into more than lovey dovey kisses. His lips stung every time they met your delicate neck. His hands were roaming beneath your shirt, leaving goosebumps in their wake.
He loved the way your breathing quickened. It had him chasing more of the reactions associated with the hummed melodies.
"You are mine, right?" He knows the answer, but hearing you say it from time to time always makes him happy. His icy blue eyes can read your response before you even form it. He loves flustering you with eye contact tied with touches that burned with desire. To top it all off, he loves teasing you to see the way you scramble your response. "It's okay if you're not." He smirks, catching the way your eyes widened the slightest bit. "That's subject to change, isn't it?" He eggs on.
"I'm yours, Satoru. I belong to you," you say, making it crystal clear to him. "All yours." With this, he wouldn't doubt it again until the next time he wasn't with you.
"Yeah? You know, I would've done anything to hear those words from you." He leans down to kiss you, a spike of arousal hitting him when you bit his lip and sucked on it.
"Oh... you can't do that. I will put a baby in you." He has never said anything so seriously.
"I dare you to put a baby in me," you say, teasingly. You know he won't do it. He's not ready to share you yet.
"Keep acting like that and I will."
His lips ghost the column of your neck, trailing down your chest and lower to your abdomen. Your oversized gown of a t-shirt was the only thing standing between your body and his eyes. He pulled it up and off with a little help from you, tossing it aside after.
You were a little nervous about what was running through Satoru's head. He was devouring you with just his eyes and already you felt so flustered.
"God, don't ogle me like that, 'toru." You put your hands over your breasts—a makeshift bra to cover what he was staring at.
"Let me see you, baby," he pries, gently. He puts his hands on yours, not pulling them away as to not make you do anything you don't want to do. You end up moving your hands on your own, but turn away, unable to hold his gaze when he's watching you that way.
He cups your breasts, his thumbs swiping over your nipples, instantly making them pebble. He could feel the way you tried to press your thighs together, your relief disturbed by his body wedged between your legs. You tried your hardest to remain composed, but his fingers wouldn't let up. His eyes were glued to your face, watching intently until you let out a shaky breath.
"Mhm..." he hummed, grinning at your bashful attempt to stay quiet. "I know this is driving you crazy."
"Shut... up."
"If it isn't, why can I feel you rubbing up against my stomach."
You stop and your cunt throbs at the suddenness of it.
"Just let it out and we can move on. Let me hear that pretty little ah-"
"Fuck," you whimper, interrupting his instructive moan. Your back arches slightly off the mattress, your hands flying to grip his wrists, tightly.
"Good girl," he praises, his fingers letting off your tortured peaks. Little butterfly kisses are placed between your breasts, trailing down to your stomach, where he spends so much time eliciting giggles from you.
His fingers hook around the elastic band of your shorts and panties, pulling them both down in one swoop.
"I didn't know kissing turned you on so much," he says, eyeing the glossy remnants left in your underwear.
"'toru..." you whine, feeling somewhat embarrassed about the amount of arousal you feel at the simplest touches from him.
"What? I'm not complaining one bit. It's cute."
He slides two fingers between your folds, easily collecting your sweetness. You jolt at the sudden contact, looking at him with doe eyes.
"Oh, baby. I don't deprive you of my touch that much, do I?"
You shake your head as he continues to collect your nectar, his fingers dipping in slightly to fully coat his fingertips.
"My sensitive princess." He smiles, softly. "How many times do you wanna cum?"
He never asks you this, always just giving you everything he can give or what you can take. You go for a small number, not wanting to seem excessively needy.
"Maybe two times? Please?" Your voice sounds meek. Like you're asking him for the impossible.
Satoru just chuckles. "How 'bout we triple that number?"
–
"S-Satoru—fuck— just like that, like that!" Your head pushes back against the pillow, your hands beside your head, scrunching up the sheets.
This was the fourth orgasm. There was cum spotted over your inner thighs and sweat layered over both your bodies. He had driven you to insanity like he planned.
"More, baby?" He grunts, thrusting with his continuous pace.
"Please," you cry out, fresh tears welling in your eyes again.
Satoru loved watching the tears stream down your face because he got to lean down and kiss them away. He takes the opportunity to praise you— to tell you how good you're being for him.
Your back arched and you braced yourself for the intensity of your next orgasm. Satoru swallowed your moans, kissing you fervently through his own rush. His breathing stuttered when he felt your nails clawing at his back, and once again his cum spurted into you. His breathing was heavy through the nose due to his insistence of kissing you until he you patted him for air.
"Fuck," you muttered. You let out an out of breath laugh, your chest rising and falling quickly as you tried to even out your breathing.
"That's five, baby." He exhales sharply, leaning back and running a hand through his dampened locks. You look at him with twinkling eyes, a smirk being thrown in your direction from your admiration.
"Come here," you say, outstretching your arms towards him. Satoru immediately fills the vacancy, sighing when you rake your nails against the nape of his neck. "Want you to take your time with this last one."
He takes that as a green light to start up again. He guides his cock into you again, savoring the hum that leaves you when he stuffs you again and begins his slow rhythm.
"'toru?" Your voice sounded sultry to his ears.
"Hm?"
"This won't happen again. I hope you know that." You're trying your hardest not laugh or make any sounds that take from the meaning of what you're saying.
He had to raise his head to meet your gaze. Something in the way he looked at you made you believe that this would definitely happen again.
"I hope it does. I love having you under me."
"It's inconvenient. It's so late, 'toru. Why can't we fuck when i'm not trying to sleep? Like in the daytime, or earlier in the night?"
His lips trace your jawline, and you just know he's going for your neck. Satoru lives for pointing out the marks he left on you, the day after.
"Simple," he hums. "I want you to myself." His hips continue to rock into you at the same languid pace. "At night, nobody is gonna take you from me. You won't be distracted and I get all your attention to myself." He kisses your neck. "You're all mine at night. Nobody expects you to be awake."
You gasp when he hits a spot that aches deliciously.
"Come on, baby. Give it to me," he murmurs into your neck. You can feel the way his back ripples as he instinctively picks up the pace. He was overwhelming, thrusting deeper and deeper like he was trying to consume you. What was supposed to be a slow drive towards your final orgasm of the night, turned into him unapologetically using his stamina to lure everything he could out of you. He was almost too much with the way his mouth was ruthless towards your neck and the bruising grip he kept on your hips. You were rendered the smallest thing for him.
"Satoru," you moaned, mindlessly grabbing onto his shoulder blades.
"I know, sweetheart, I know." He kisses you, tenderly, heavily contrasting the savage speed of thrusts.
You whimpered into the lip lock. Your heels dug into the mattress and your toes curled from the intensity of the pleasure you felt. Your breathing became heavier but Satoru refused to unlink his lips from yours. He couldn't when the sounds you made tasted like heaven on his tongue. His own sounds mingled with yours, a harmony that let you know that you weren't the only one feeling good. He was rutting into you, a telltale sign that he was about to cum.
"Mmm..." he hums, before unlatching his lips from yours. He panted as he watched you unravel beneath him, the smallest pinch between your brows as you gushed on him again. The way your walls spasmed around him had him following right after, another load painting your walls.
He grinned at you devilishly, the expression followed by a bright and sunny, airy chuckle. He pulls out of you, and looks down to watch your combined fluids slowly ooze out of you.
"Damn, you really tried putting a baby in me." You sigh, heavily, immediately regaining his attention. "Why do we fuck like this every time?" You rub your eyes, your sleepiness coming back around.
"I'll get one in there someday." He rubs his palm over your stomach. "And also, it's always like that because I love the face you make when you cum and you love the process of giving me that sight." His eye conveyed a seductiveness to their expression that kept you in check.
Your face goes red, warm to the touch. "Shut up." You sit up and playfully shove him.
"I get to cover you in semipermanent kisses, too." His hand comes up to the side of your neck and his fingers trace the red smudges that will darken over time. You roll your eyes, yet still put your hand over his, bringing it to your lips to press a kiss to his knuckles.
"We should shower. It's almost five in the morning." You ignore the mischievous glint in his eyes and the way he's obviously trying to suppress a boyish grin.
"Carry me, please?"
Satoru chuckles, knowing exactly why you want him to carry you.
#gojo#gojo satoru#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x y/n#gojo satoru x you#gojo x you#gojo fic#jujutsu gojo#gojo fluff#jjk gojo#gojo smut#gojo x reader#gojo x y/n#fanfic#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk fic#jjk x you#jujutsu kaisen fic#jjk fluff#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen satoru#jujutsu satoru#jujutsu sorcerer#jjk x y/n#jjk fanfic#jjk scenarios
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So a while ago some friends were talking about fans who claim the Same Coin theory is canon. And I made the mistake of saying:
Do you know who also has tons in common with Bill? Mabel. Yet nobody claims Bill reincarnated as Mabel. …wait now I want a "same coin but it's Mabel" AU. Funniest Bill reincarnation option. The all-seeing arsonist is making macaroni glitter art. The omnipotent tyrant is crying because a unicorn called her a bad person.
And then I overthought it for two months.
So—AU where after death, Bill's soul shoots 13 years into the past and reincarnates as Mabel. I'll call it ✨ Sparkly Coin AU ✨
Don't leave yet. Lemme show you why it works. Behold the eerie amount of parallels in their personalities, dialogue, behavior, mannerisms, tastes...
I could have kept going but my attention span ran out. All right, we all on board now? Convinced we could segue from one personality into the other? Great. Now here's why you should be interested: the juicy post-Weirdmageddon angst potential.
As long as a small fringe of the fandom still thinks Weirdmageddon is Mabel's fault, why not amp that up x100 and have some fun with it?
Is everyone sold now? Great. Let's get into the details. I've got 8 more pieces of art under the read more.
So the AU starts the instant Bill dies. Thanks to invoking his deal with the Axolotl—one way to absolve his crime, a different form, a different time—the Axolotl gives him a new shape and shoots him thirteen years into the past. Apparently, the Axolotl thought it would be very funny to stick Bill in the family that defeated him.
Which probably made for a jarring transition.
(It's fine, she's like 10 minutes old, she probably can't even tell who she's looking at. Not being able to tell who she was looking at is what got her into this situation ayyyy)
When Dipper & Mabel come back from Gravity Falls complaining about this triangular jerk Bill, their parents mention that Dipper's name was nearly Bill. See, after they knew they were going to have a boy, one night their mom dreamed about a visitor—some kind of magic pink salamander??—calling her child "BILL." Then at the next sonogram they found out they were having twins, the girl must've been hidden at a weird angle the first time, and they wanted matching names, so they thought, Bill and Bell. But they didn't really like Bell; but eventually they stumbled on Mabel, so to keep the names matching they switched from Bill to Mason. Isn't that the darnedest thing?
(Of course, Mabel and Dipper assume Bill harassed their parents to try to trick them into naming a kid after him. To be a jerk.)
When Bill meets Mabel, he's unaware that she's his future self—Bill's notably bad at doing things like, say, double-checking to see whether he's going to die anytime soon—but like... he can tell something's up.
Naturally, before visiting Gravity Falls, there were echoes of who Mabel used to be—but nothing anyone would be able to identify without context. All her Bill-ish quirks either smoothed out with time (see: how between second grade and fourth grade Mabel went from being the "freak" to the popular girl in class), or else they were accepted by her family as Mabel-ish quirks.
After they meet (and kill) Bill, they have the context to understand some of Mabel's behaviors... and unfortunately, some of Mabel's latent Bill-ness starts surfacing after she's been directly exposed to her prior incarnation.
The part of the Pines family familiar with Bill thinks the worst case scenario is that maybe Bill's survived and is slowly possessing Mabel; but far more likely, they think this is just some weird way of trying to subconsciously process last summer. Mabel doesn't think she's being weird, you guys are being weird, stop giving her weird looks. They get attacked by one triangle and now she can't wear yellow or pick up macrame as a hobby??
(It's not all red flags and uncomfortable triangle imagery, though. When Stan asks her what she'd like as a gift for some important event, she shyly admits that she thinks she's starting to outgrow her plastic gem jewelry and maybe she's old enough to get her first piece of real gold jewelry, if that's not too expensive? And Stan's never been so proud of her. Thirteen years old and already thinking about buying gold!)
But of course, the real fun starts when Mabel finds out.
That's the face of a girl who's just discovered that she tortured her great uncle. Now imagine running into the brother she possessed.
But I've already spent a million words and thirteen images on this post. If enough folks are interested in the AU maybe I'll expand on it later. Let me know what y'all think.
#mabel pines#bill cipher#gravity falls#gravity falls au#gravity falls fanart#sparkly coin au#my art#my writing#(here's that AU I've been taunting y'all with)
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Hi idk if u have already written this if u have pls igonore but what about the first time bombshell reader calls Spencer beautiful?
fem, 1k
“Gideon has a new prodigy.”
Your head rises of its own accord. “Yeah?”
“He's younger than you. Twenty three, I think Hotch said. Fresh out of college, two degrees and working on a third? Or maybe he was getting his doctorate? I couldn't keep up.” Morgan shakes his head in disapproval. “Overeducated and under-experienced. He failed his physicals. The ones he took, anyways.”
“Ooh, ouch. A baby on the team before me,” you joke with a smile. “Genius baby, but a baby.”
Morgan smiles when you smile, he's too nice not to, but he picks up soon enough, crossing his arms where he's stood and wrinkling what was once a finely steamed suit jacket. “I don't know what Gideon's thinking.”
“Does anyone ever know what he's thinking? What's Hotch say about it all?”
Morgan reads what you're typing from over your shoulder and corrects a mistake. One day you won't need his help, but for now you take as much of it as you can get. You're not too proud to acknowledge when you mess up, you're a realist. Super sensible (in mind if not action).
“Hotch lets Gideon do what he wants, mostly. What can you do when he's one of the originals?” Morgan leans heavily onto his desk by the forearms and shrugs. You’re similar in this regard; complain, move on. You're similar in other ways, too. That's why you get along.
“Well, I want to meet this guy,” you say. “We'll be teammates just as soon as Strauss stops hating me. I'm one strategic boxed bouquet from a full pardon.” He laughs and touches your arm like he believes you. “Is he around?”
“Here they are now.”
You spin in Morgan's desk chair slowly. Jason Gideon is stalking through the office with his head in the contents of a manilla envelope, while a new face follows behind him talking a mile a minute.
“Obviously,” you hear Gideon interrupt as they get close enough. “Agent Morgan can explain that to you. Don't overthink it, Spencer, just try to get through it.”
He doesn't acknowledge you nor Morgan as he leaves Spencer and hurries up the steps leading to his and Hotch's offices. You aren't expecting much else from him. What little Gideon knows about you he doesn't like. If you ever get over the Strauss hurdle, it's him you'd have to convince next. You don't watch him cross the landing, your gaze focused on the man making his timid way toward you. Your lips part briefly, and then quirk into an overjoyed smile.
“Oh, you're beautiful,” you say without thinking.
He frowns at you.
“Reid,” Morgan interrupts, “This is Y/N L/N. She works in the sex crimes division. As you can imagine, we get a lot of crossover.” You stand, holding out your hand. “Y/N, this is Spencer Reid.”
“I don't shake. Sorry.”
You press your hand to your chest. “Oh, that's okay. I shouldn't assume…” Your voice melds into a silkiness that has his shapely brows furrowing further, “It's nice to meet you, Spencer Reid. You're really pretty, do you know that?”
Spencer peeks at Morgan quickly, who laughs good-naturedly. “She's serious, Reid. She's not making fun of you.”
“You'd know,” Spencer says. It isn't malicious, but it isn't exactly friendly, either.
You twist to frown at Morgan deeply. “Morgan, you're not being nice to him?”
“I'm being plenty nice, sweetheart, but this is how it works. I gotta haze him a little.”
“No, you don't.” You tip your cheek toward your shoulder to look at Spencer through your lashes. “He pretends to be worse than he is, I promise. But don't let him neg you, okay? You're smarter than he is–”
“Hey.”
“–and he's used to being the office pretty boy. It's jealousy, nothing else,” you finish. Spencer really is gorgeous now you're close enough to see his eyes. A brown like caramelised sugar tented by dark, dark eyelashes. When he smiles, the very slightest hint of teeth shows, and it makes him even prettier. You endeavour to make him smile again. “Sorry if I'm coming off a little strong. It's not my intention.”
“She's just nervous. You have everything she wants,” Morgan says.
You sigh forlornly. “Oh, doesn't he?” Spencer's confused pout is even cuter than his smile. “Getting into the BAU is about as easy as walking on water.”
“For a human,” Spencer says. “Easier if you're smaller. Like a water strider.”
There's a silence. Morgan is aghast, you think. You're in love.
“Yeah?” you ask, stars in your eyes as his own spark to life.
“Because water strider's can transfer their weight, but also due to their hydrofuge hairpiles. Their microhairs.” He catches himself, measuring your expression carefully. “Did you really wanna know?”
“Do you wanna get a cup of coffee and tell me about it?” you ask.
His lips part as yours had when you first saw him.
He's prevented from answering as Hotch's office door opens and the man himself walks out near the railing. “Good, you’re here. I have something to talk to you about.”
You grin at him. “I'd love to chat, Agent Hotchner, but I'm getting to know your new protégé.”
“I see.” He waits.
You would ignore him —Hotch has a soft spot for you (or rather, he likes you enough to put up with you, which is more than can be said about other members of his division) and he'd shrug off your dismissal— but you're really keen to hear what he has to say. Perhaps Strauss has changed her mind about your proposed trail basis with the team.
“I'm so sorry,” you say to Spencer, immediately re-dazzled by his pretty, lovely face. “It was really nice to meet you, Spencer Reid. Maybe next time you can tell me more about it.”
You give Morgan a quick thank you for the help with your paperwork and trust him to log out of your emails. In your rush up the stairs, you hear a wisp of conversation.
“Was she messing with me?”
Morgan laughs. “No, kid. That's how she is.”
"Oh... She's nice."
"You have no idea."
#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid oneshot#spencer reid scenario#spencer reid drabble#spencer reid fic#spencer reid fanfiction#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds#criminal minds fic#criminal minds x reader
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electionpost.txt
"a convicted felon won". the worst felon in my life was never convicted, but his victims were. money first and foremost determines whether or not your crimes will be punished so of course rich people are allowed to brag about getting away with rape, and they will not be socially shunned because violence against women only "matters" to people when they can use it in a political argument without any real conviction.
and no, I don't think kamala lost because of misogyny, in fact I feel insane reading takes on this because it's actually shocking she got as far as she did without the clout biden had to get him votes. a lot of people voted for her just in opposition to trump, though, so ironically trump specifically being her opponent is likely what got her more votes. regardless, it's practically impossible for trump to lose no matter who the democratic candidate is. no matter how much democrats pander with policies it won't matter. they could literally copy-paste trump's platform and trump voters would still never vote for them because trump's main appeal is persona. he has a cult of personality that trumps (no pun intended) political platform. that's why no trump supporter gives a fuck about your arguments regarding trump flip-flopping on certain topics. melania even posted something advocating reproductive rights recently--none of them withdrew support. so, unless democrats are actually stupid, the whole 'appealing to the right' thing has always been a scam and democratic voters keep falling for it. they aren't appealing to the right because they think they'll win; it's because to them, going left is still worse than losing an election. going left would lose them more money in the long run.
trump's popularity is not a mystery. it can be explained by aggrieved entitlement combined with already existing political strategy. "aggrieved entitlement" is defined as "the fusion of a sense of entitlement with victimisation" and "anger and antisocial behavior in response to encountering the boundaries, limits, and refusal of another person". it is a repeat occurrence in response to social change threatening dominant power structures...or, if you want the most simple explanation, "women and minorities graduating university hurt my feelings". in the US aggrieved entitlement has also been proposed as a motive for some school shootings and certain serial killers with crimes comparable to femicides.
anyway, these are my thoughts.
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