#his character is all over the place in s15

[f-t-e]

I started watching SUPERNATURAL in November 2020. I know, I know. My partner and I had been isolating alone since March. The timing felt right. I went though a wild amount of upheaval and trauma over the next year and SPN was there for me through it all. It was THE show at THE time and it kept me afloat when I needed it the most. Since November 2021 I've written just about 110,000 words of SPN fanfic, a number that seems unbelievable to me, and that too has been a real blessing to my creative life, no matter what haters say. (why didn't I write my own novels in that time? Because I have a hobby, Karen, and I love it.) And I've read about 500000x that much fanfic, which has been the biggest blessing of all. (ETA: oh right, if you want to read my fic, you can find my stuff here, I wrote a fic where Dean reads books. Lots of books.)

I know I'm a nobody in this fandom but I thought on this, our #DestielDay, I would submit my own humble rec list. I've curated this very deliberately: every fic here has just about 4000 hits or less (most under 3000) and all were published in 2020 or after. So, sort of a rec list for some lesser known and newer fics, something you maybe haven't stumbled on yet. Especially thank you to @jewishcharliebradbury, her rec lists gave me a place to start back in the day and I have tried to model the depth and quality they brought to their lists. I tried to link to everyone's tumblr, but if I missed one, let me know.

Most of all, thank you to everyone who has EVER created something for this fandom, from 2005 to 2023. I am so thankful and, honestly, honored to be among your number. You're not supposed to be cringe and say a show saved your life...but SUPERNATURAL saved me, it really did. See y'all when the movie/reboot drops, to quote Ryan Gosling in The Notebook: IT WASN'T OVER, IT STILL ISN'T OVER. And I'm glad.

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Finale Fix-It & S15 and Beyond

What The Moon Was Saying by Amiril (@runawaymarbles)

This is hands-down one of the coolest “Dean Rescues Cas from the Empty” fics I have ever read and the concept is brilliantly structured to mirror the literal and metaphorical things Dean needs to give up and let go to get free. Every scenario is very satisfying and they make sense, is there any better feeling? Dean is very open in this, but in a believable way that still has edges. And, oh, the reunion is so good. Plus all the family stuff. Just excellent, exactly what you want in a fic like this: lovely, well-written, smart, fulfilling, all the pieces clicking, the show but better.

Awake and Annoying by skycruise

I love the use and passage of time in this one, it has some real impact, and I love the way Dean gets into the Empty (so smart, fits just right) and what I REALLY love in this one is the way it lets Dean be really clear-eyed and honest about his relationship with Sam, both the strengths and the weaknesses. And the last line, very clever and moving inverse of one of fandom’s favorite things. 

Living the life you chose by allthismusic

THEEEEE post finale Sam Winchester-Outsider-POV this fandom needs. Sam is absolutely awesome in this, the most believable, loving, realistic mix of “I knew all along” and “I had no idea” versions of Sam, landing somewhere I think that’s really true and in character. It fills in and develops so many gaps and silences in what the show let Sam know in the absolute best way. Best Brother Sam is a weakness of mine and he really shines here, there for Dean in the best ways but also coming into his own, I love it so very much. (this author also has a very great 2022 Big Bang fic, hugely recommend that one too.)

your ear to the wound that whispers by EmandFandems (@lazarusemma)

Who doesn’t love a HANDPRINT FIC?!? And boy this is such a good one. It follows Dean and his thoughts on the handprint from the first touch all the way to fixing the finale and it simply buzzes with longing and desire, tenderness and rawness. It’s great insight in lot of ways into Dean’s journey. It’s short but fulfilling and oh that very perfect last line. (this author also has a lot of great Jupernatural content.)  

Somewhere Off in the Dark by magickastiel 

Another awesome fic that traces Dean’s shifting/growing feelings for Cas from when he shows up in his hotel rooms to a HEA fix it after canon. Dean, again, is handled so deftly in this one, his confusion and sorrow at all the times Cas is slipping away from him all the way through the things he won’t let himself know. He feels really true in this one, sharp and tender in the best Dean ways. Also it has an agonizingly romantic end, you love to end up there.

Pins and Feathers by theskywasblue (@buttherewasnogod)

This author has so many freaking good SPN fics, omg it was almost impossible to pick just one to include on this list. Go treat yourself with their entire list because there’s so much good stuff there! But this one, oh I am a sucker for a finale fix-it that lets Dean be this tender. While I LOVE fics where he just jumps right into Cas’s arms (and write them lol) I also feel like this is so true to Dean too: that “maybe I misunderstood, maybe I shouldn’t say anything, maybe he doesn’t still –” And on top of all that, it’s a “they go the beach” fic and it gets the details of it so right, sand in your toes and all. Tender, amazing slow-burn, real, hot, full of heart and longing and everything unspoken and just waiting. Very satisfying!

i loved you first by kalmialatifolia

A set of four short fics that create an entire world of feeling and emotion. These feel like little whispered stories told under the covers, very atmospheric. There’s one very sexy one, a haircutting one (so good) and they’re just intimate. All together a great set and did I mention they’re in the “Cas saves himself” genre which is mmmm an underrated treasure.

no other faith is light enough for this place by anonymous 

A fix-it fic that has a particularly unique and beautiful visual of both how and why Cas comes back. The mechanics behind it are fairly standard but the way this author creates the visual of it, the sheer emotion and force behind it and how it happens, it really stood out to me and stuck with me. It’s Dean being brave enough to really feel and the way that just blossoms – lovely, aching, full-tilt wonderful.

 no proof, one touch by TakeThisWaltz (@watchinghimrakeleaves)

One thing I absolutely cannot get enough of is fic where Cas is hiding out from Dean in heaven. It just hits. And the only thing better is Dean chasing him down and the WAY he does it in this fic, methodically and – well the method (sobs) it is so endearing and OBVIOUS and gives Dean a chance to shout in all the best ways. This one is just real sweet and kind of goofy and if they have to be in heaven, I want them to still be these same two dorks.

Stay by redbrickrose

This is a post S15x18 from Cas’s POV and I think it’s very true to where he would be in the moment of getting yanked out of the Empty: resigned, hesitant about what he has in front of him, still a little in shock. And then. And then. Sweet and simple and Dean gets a chance to say, say, say it. This author has a good post series AU and a lovely little spate of S15 codas, all good. And then wrote this in real-time in the week after 15x18 Despair and right before 15x19 Inherit the Earth aired (could you just sob over the possibilities?!) and then hasn’t wrote anything since and that’s a shame but, like, yeah I get it.

like a one-two punch by Muir_Wolf (@muirmarie)

Don’t you love a short fic that feels like it’s a whole novel? This goes AU after 14x20 Moriah but it is a truly delightful twist on how Chuck could’ve reacted there and it makes Dean sharp as a knife, which is one really resonant image woven through this fic. Great imagery here and so many clever solutions for the lazy plotting of S15, including simply one of my all-time favorites in any fic ever solutions to Cas’s deal (genius) and getting rid of Chuck. Brilliant like a puzzle box yet still full of so much fucking joy.

maybe i like pleasure pain by tothewillofthepeople (@kvothes)

The fact that this was written in October 2023 and is so agonizingly good fills my heart with joy and tells me Destiel will never die lol. Cas, in particular, is great in this – he’s having a hard time adjusting to being in a body and with all the fuzz of the world. I love fics where Cas struggles with coming back from the Empty and this uses a really unique approach to it: Cas facing sensory overload and not knowing how to feel but wanting it all. Lovely, hot, Dean is just right in this too.

Earlier Canon (pre S15)

Proverbs 13:12 by starlingcas (@angelcasendgame)

Many might say I am biased because Renu has beta’ed everything I have written in the SPN fandom and they can read my brain and make everything I write better. But it’s not just that. Renu has done something beautiful and delicate in this fic, which is about Dean and Cas getting trapped in a net together (forced proximity trope, yes please) and weaves a web of its own; pulling you in just as they are pulled together. This is set mostly in early S14 (before fixing the finale in the most heart-healing way) and captures that feeling so well. There’s so much that’s unsaid between them yet still conveyed and Renu absolutely nails that, along with the tender longing that was always there. This is a fic to relish.

you may tire of me (as our december sun is setting) by deludedfantasy

You know how the show just sometimes is like “uh so anyway uh then Cas…uh…left.” and it just doesn’t make one lick of sense? FINALLY FINALLY a fic where Dean says “I’ll go with you,” and then goes because he actually would do that. This is a post Tombstone fic so it is exactly where/when he WOULD go and it is tender and hesitant and aching in just all the ways it would be between the two of them at this time. It’s about needing to keep someone in sight, it’s about having another chance to say something so important, it’s slow and soft and just right for the characters in this place. I could read this one about 100 times.

the anatomy of flightless birds by cowlovely (@dollhousemary)

This fic is basically the way you feel when you get all cozy and snug underneath your favorite blanket. This is a domestic-life-in-the Bunker S9 fic where everyone behaves like they are in character and not just like they have to get Cas off screen because the writers panicked. You’ll just want to curl up in this fic and savor it the way you wrap your fingers around a hot beverage on a very cold day, there’s no better way to describe it.

virtue by JenTheSweetie

I think I’ve read this about 100 times and it still gets me everytime? It’s a five things fic about Dean and Cas hooking up and it’s all you’ve ever wished for. This is set in an amorphous S8 and it is not just agonizingly hot but also romantic and very funny. It feels really in character! Sam is hilarious, Dean is clueless but bowled over and letting himself be swept up, Cas is delighting in every second and smarter than he lets on and it ALL feels fated and lovely and sexy and just splendid. (this author only has 3 SPN fics but they are all so good and if you try sometimes, well you just might find is an absolutely brilliant deconstruction of Dean learning the differences between “needing” and “wanting.”)

Romance at the Motel 6 by shelia_amour 

This fic makes me feel like Stefon from SNL. This fic has everything: Cas and Sam pretending to be married, just the right amount of jealous Dean, Dean randomly pretending to be married to Cas, Dean realizing maybe this isn’t so fake after all, motel vibes, Cas in Dean’s clothes, Cas getting bee slippers. If you are not sold on this already, we are very different people. So good, aches just right. (set in a kind of “whenever” of canon, but I like to put it somewhere in S8.)

que sera sera by Purple_Starflower (@hauntedpearl)

The epitome of how fanfic unfolds for us all the things that COULD happen. You can’t PROVE to me Dean and Cas never snuck off to snuggle and feed Dean’s touch-starvation early in S13. I had to check when I finished because I just couldn’t believe this fic was under 4000 words because it feels so full of touch, longing, the things unspoken, and all the ways Dean was reaching, reaching, reaching. The best kind of ache, and everything by this author is lovely. 

the hard edge that you’re settling for by lesspopped (@trekkiedean)

This is some S10 Demon!Dean that made my stomach hurt and my heart ache and I absolutely loved it and I absolutely hated it and it all felt so REAL with who Demon!Dean was and could have been. There’s a TW for mildly dubious consent in this, but to me, Cas was so agonizingly true to who he was/where he was at this point in canon too. This fic is gloriously, claustrophobically intimate. I say unbearable because as a reader you know that this closeness, this intimacy, is what Dean wants/craves/deserves but can only give himself as a demon and the author does an exquisite job at getting all that across. Hurts so good! 

four of swords by sundryvillians (eurythmix) (@perenial)

Can the world ever have enough post 12x12 fic? The answer is, of course, no. Dean and Cas bake bread and in the soft space of creating something with their own hands, get so close to the words Cas said. It’s about healing and anger and making something just because you are so tired of everything breaking. If that alone isn’t enough to convince you, let me also throw in this is another one of those “possible off-screen moments in canon” that gives them something honest and tender and raw and it feels so very possible. 

Fifteen Prayers From the Faithless by koyas_cat

Short, achy, that sweet sting. A set of prayers for Cas from the beginning to the end, full of all the things Dean doesn’t let himself say outloud and just reflecting the changes in their connection over alllll the years. So good.

[lol-jackles]

I know its beens awhile but what did you think of S15 as a whole?

As a whole I think season 15 was an above-average season due to below-average execution and ended with a stellar series finale that added rewatch value not just for season 15 but also all of 15 seasons.

Season 15 started and ended with callbacks to previous seasons; from season 1's woman in white and Sam's goal of returning to a normal life, to season 5's Dean's time in hell as Alastair's apprentice and bringing closure to Adam Milligan, to season 8's endgames for Sam and Dean.

The first half of the season 15 was about free will vs determinism, with Sam representing the former and Dean representing the latter.  Sam and Dean’s confrontation with God parallels how they've reacted to family and authority their entire lives: Sam challenged God’s Divine decree over His Creation while Dean accused God of abandoning His Creation.  When Abraham spoke with his heart and mind to God over His plan to destroy Sodom & Gomorrah, it led to Abraham transcending himself, leading the way for God, and becoming the father of faith. Metaphorically it's all about lessons in honest, meaningful relationships with our fellow human beings.   People often suppress their true selves and principles for the sake of avoiding conflict instead of taking the relationship a step further into a place of sincerity.   From season 11 to 14, Sam and Dean spoke their hearts and minds to God and the brothers' relationship became at its strongest, never wavering even when occasional arguments sprouts up because they were honest with each other.

Sam and God became connected through Sam's hope which manifested in their identical wounds. Secular-based hope is about anticipating something good to come in the future.  Sam has hope in a better future, so Chuck showed him a bleak future to make his lose that hope.  Once Sam lost his hope, God leaves.  That’s pretty much what happens to people in real life, when they lose hope, they feel there is no God or God abandoned them. Another physical manifestation of a bleak future is Dean's old friend who retired from hunting, Lee, who became so corrupted that Dean is forced to kill him.

The return of Sam and Dean's half-brother, Adam, brings welcome closure.  Adam is not out for revenge as he acknowledged his own culpability for agreeing to vessel-ship in the first place.  Him and Michael only having each other for 10 years in the Cage led to their codependent-symbiotic-ish relationship that parallels Sam and Dean to some extent.  

I like to call the second half of season 15 the "Dean redemption tour" where side characters were used to address Dean's unresolved issues in order for him to be good enough for Sam in their eternal afterlife. Normally whenever Dean interacted with side characters it is about the side characters, not Dean (see example here and here). But when the formula is reversed, it becomes a bit disjointed, and the audience picked up on it. The final redemption act target Dean's anger issues that both Amara and Chuck discussed.

Chuck: This is my ending.  My real ending. 

Very next scene: *Dean pulls a gun on Sam*

Dean’s been so obsessed with having free will that he’s actually following Chuck’s writing.  As usual Sam broke through to Dean, in effect breaking Chuck’s influence. Then a very mad mad Chuck shows up.

Chuck:  “Are you kidding me? After all that, you did it again!”

Then 15x18 happened. Ignoring the hilarity of that scene, the speech was supposed to remind the general audience that Dean is A HERO before he dies two episodes later. By 15x19, free will vs determinism comes to a conclusion.   Michael and Lucifer betrayed the Winchesters and succumb to determinism, fulfilling their destiny to destroy each other.  Sam and Dean manipulated Michael to lure Chuck into a trap to replace him with a new God, Jack. Chuck is left only with human frailties and for the first time Chuck has no idea what happens next, bringing the free will theme to a full circle.  

Due to interactions with Sam, Rowena became the new queen of Hell while Jack becomes the new God of Heaven. Jack promises Sam that He will have a hands-off approach and people don’t need to pray or sacrifice to Him. Jack’s perception of humanity is distilled down to, “When people have to be their best, they can be.” 

Before the story ends, the protagonist is supposed to accomplish their primary goal that had kept them driven and move the story forward.  Sam’s goal was attaining normal life, it was never about eradicating monsters to extinction or avenging his mother’s death.  In fiction it always seems like the main character want many things, but there is always a primary goal.  Harry Potter gets dragged into many subplots such as conflicts with his best friends, romantic misfires, and incidents with secondary characters, however his main goal was always to defeat Voldemort and that's what the audience is holding out to see.  Sam Winchester’s journey is flipped from Harry Potter’s; Sam gets dragged into many subplots of saving the world, defeating the Big Baddies, and conflicts with his brother, however his main goal was always to have a chance at a normal life. But this can't happen while Dean is still alive.

Dean has everything he wanted: Sam and hunting.  Dean is a complete person; he doesn’t need anything else. But Sam had given up just about everything so that Dean wouldn’t be alone. 15x16 reminded the audience that Sam wanted out of the hunting life since he was a child. Sure, Sam is very good at his job and even became a leader, but they always made sure to show that Sam doesn’t have passion for the family business other than saving people’s lives.  Claire Novak shows way more enthusiasm for the job. But Dean would never retire from the hunting life.  Even when Michael gave Dean a fantasy life, Dean still conjured up monsters so he can fight and kill them.  As long as Dean is alive, Sam will never be free to pursue a normal life.  Think back to Dean's speech in season 8 telling Sam to pursue his normal life only after Dean dies with a gun in his hand and a smile on his face.

The pivotal barn scene in the 15x20 finale was genius, bringing the series to full circle with callback to the pilot, fleshing it out, adding backstory to Dean’s pov that brings his fear, need, relief, and love to stark relief.  It hurt like hell, and at the same time, cathartic because Dean was honest.   The way Dean said, “Come here. Let me look at you. There he is!”  That’s Dean in dad mode, the parental figure to Sam.  The show reminded the audience in 15x18 that Dean raised his little brother.  Still in dad mode, Dean then tells Sam that he is proud of him.  It’s what every son wants to hear from their dad.

Dean then goes into brother mode and tells Sam he admires his strength even when they were children.  Sam’s strength is such that Dean was afraid that Sam doesn’t need him. Fearing rejection, he stood outside of Sam’s dorm for hours before finally going to Sam because it’s always been Sam and Dean, and Dean can’t comprehend if he didn’t have Sam. 

From there Dean gives Sam his blessing to keep living his life.  “I love you so much, my baby brother”. Sam’s reaction was pure and raw, he has always been honest about his wants and needs but craves Dean’s approval to pursue them, and now he has it.  Sam’s faith in Dean went answered with Dean saying how proud he is of Sam, how much he admired Sam’s strength so that Sam knows he is strong enough to go on living without Dean.  

Another reason why the barn scene is genius is the pilot callback sets up Sam and Dean’s reunion in New Heaven as pilot 2.0.  From there they will build their relationship just as Sam and Dean.  They are at peace without monsters disrupting their lives, without vindictive angels disrupting their afterlives, and without childhood angsts weighing them down.  They have both freedom and peace.

This applies to all of the hunters.  Jack’s New Heaven is like a retirement home for hunters where they can enjoy their peace and socialize with their friends and loved ones and even upgrade themselves to the people they were meant to be on earth.

[charcubed]

Hi. I tend to forget that tumblr exists and just shout all my thoughts about The Winchesters on Twitter @CharCubed, which is a problem, but for once in my life I'm posting something here!

Here are some broad Thoughts on where I've landed of what this season 1 finale of The Winchesters offered–

• I very much want season 2 of this show SO badly. I want to see how they all continue to build their lives now that we know tragedy need not be their end! THIS IS THE HEALING SHOW. That whole cast gets to write their own story... "the only thing that's worse than how it starts for a hunter is how it ends" is no longer the case, as Carlos already said... and Dean helped to free them? That fucks.

• In regards to those possibilities: now that Dean would no longer be framing the prequel as a story he's telling, it frees the prequel up to no longer be doubling as Dean's story through revealing mirroring–which is very much what it's been doing for 12 episodes. Now the monster plots and the storylines for those characters in The Winchesters can also be diversified, so every episode no longer has to include, for example... [checks notes] a situation where a character is literally and/or metaphorically trapped and has to confront their trauma, break cycles of violence, and speak truths to be freed. It's been very Loud and very much Like This Constantly because it's Dean's story, but now it won't have to be anymore, which is an interesting thing to contemplate! (To be clear, for those unaware of my history of yelling about this show: I love that it was Like This. This show is fucking genius.)

• Initially, this finale had some alarm bells pinging in my brain but then I parsed the Reasons for those things. Mary told John she had "Something to say," right? And then she never says it. That's a Chekhov's gun that's never fired and it's of course paralleling how Dean has "something to say" to Cas too. Them not speaking that truth is a problem. In addition, we also got a montage eerily akin to the 15x19 one. But these callbacks / parallels to s15 all loudly indicate something very specific: The Winchesters is an unfinished story, and this finale (like the rest of this show) is mirroring and revealing truths about the prime narrative of SPN. For one thing, with the prequel they originally expected to have 22 or so episodes and ended up having 13 to work with. For another... this is the START of their story, not the end. So along those lines, what can we deduce about the end of season 15? (Hint: that finale is not an ending either.)

• Speaking of which: We learn that everything Dean was just doing takes place in the ~heavenly~ time period before Sam “dies." This all functionally happened right after Dean died as he drove down that road. He is restless, unmoored, grieving, and–this is key–considers his "ending" to be an unhappy happy one. He's fucking around and finding out, looking for and unpacking (through his narration) what he needs and wants for HIS happy ending to look like. He found out about the Akrida being a failsafe from Chuck and couldn't resist meddling to save everyone. It's also worth noting that Dean says to Jack something like, "If you have to kick me out of Heaven then that's fine." Between the lines is the thought of "please kick me out of Heaven, I'm causing problems because I'm grieving and I'm not done, I don't want this 'peace' but would rather have freedom." That in itself is a massive subversion of the SPN finale, to say nothing of the previous 12 episodes we've received.

Anyway. So in terms of Dean's story, we now know that this all takes place smack in the middle of 15x20 timeline-wise. This checks out because Bobby's presence connects to him being the only one we saw in 15x20. And... what I personally consider to be Jack's incredibly fucked up or ~potentially taken over by Chuck~ vibes are, in that sense, consistent with 15x19 as well. (I'm so sorry but please let me drop this cursed "Alex Calvert playing Chuck" joke by Jensen from August 2022 which haunts me.)

So: nothing about the concept that @chuckwon at the end of season 15 has been confirmed or denied in canon at this point. The idea that Chuck LOST, as Dean says here, is simply what Dean may still be thinking (which makes sense). But nothing has fundamentally changed about the state of how season 15 left things in the prime narrative yet... largely because that's not what this story is / was about.

In terms of what this finale presented to us, I think "Chuck won" potential was all deliberately left open. And I continue to Call Bullshit on the finale accordingly. A Chuck won plot line COULD be used in a future sequel to great affect, or it could NOT be used in a future sequel. That will be totally up to the future authors / team behind that potential sequel to see what story they choose to tell, and where it all may or may not go. But until then (on that front) right now it's the same shit, different show, and deliberately literally nothing about that potential has changed.

• I LOVE all of the above now that I've parsed it all in my brain. It makes perfect sense. Much like we were never going see the gay angel pop up in this show and kiss Dean (with apologies to anyone who somehow thought otherwise?)... leaving other things open like this is fantastic and the objectively correct call. Dean's story is HIS story to be furthered elsewhere, whereas this show belonged and continues to belong to its cast of characters who must take center stage. But through this story within a story narrated by Dean himself, we learned a hell of a lot about his state of mind as it actively stands in 15x20. Or more accurately: the entire show reinforces and reiterates comprehensively and repeatedly that the SPN finale was wrong and bad and not the end of the story at all, and now canonically and openly and in no uncertain terms that that's how Dean feels too.

• AND THUS: season 1 of The Winchesters works as deeply clever and layered commentary on Supernatural's ending and presents the stepping stone for a sequel continuation for Dean and his family. It's also the beginning of a new chapter with endless potential for The Winchesters' cast of characters who are not tied to fate or main timeline.

I fucking love it here.

Truly, madly, deeply: ALL HAIL ROBBIE THOMPSON.

And seriously, I really hope we get a season 2 because I adore all of the prequel's characters on their own merit and I want to see what their story can become :')

[agnoscoveteris-vestigiaflammae]

Now that I'm all caught up with Doctor Who, here is an update on my (extremely long) Doctor Who Theory Masterpost I made last week !! As I am writing this, there are mere minutes to go before the premiere of the series finale, though I won't be seeing it until it's on BBC in 19 hours lol so hopefully no spoilers !!

So I'm still a firm believer that the *Colour* *Weekday* (or vice versa) or just *Shade of Red* naming convention for several characters was intentional, even if it's just a red herring. If you don't know what I mean, here are some examples

Ruby Sunday

Mundi Flynn (Monday Red) in episode 3

Marti Bridges (Tuesday Red) (Also a direct reference to Mars, ie. Pyramids of Mars, Sutekh, Osirans, etc.) in episode 4

Cooper Mercy (Red Wednesday) in episode 5

Rogue (anagram of Rouge = Red) in episode 6

Poppy in episode 1

Rose in episode 7

Cherry Sunday

While I still think that these names and their associations with ancient deities add to the theme of ‘The Pantheon' and all-powerful beings, and that this kind of repetitive naming convention is reminiscent of a dream-like logic or storytelling convention centred around Ruby, which could play into everyone’s TV show/fairytale/dream theories, I now also think with hindsight that the Red aspect of the names could just be a sneaky reference to Mars as the Red Planet and its associations with Sutekh.

I mentioned how due to her surname, Ruby would be aligned with the Roman God Sol Invictus, but now knowing that we're working with Egyptian mythology, it's more likely that she is aligned with the sun god Ra or the god of the sky, sun, and light, Horus. While both are plausible, my bets are on the latter for a few main reasons.

Horus' was the child of Isis, the goddess of love, magic, fertility, and healing, and the god Osiris, who was killed by Seth (Sutekh), the god of death and darkness, and then resurrected by Isis to conceive Horus. While pregnant with Horus, Isis fled to the marshes of the Nile Delta where she hid her child from Seth because she knew he wanted to kill him to maintain his place on the throne. Horus' birth is commonly accepted to have occurred on the 25th of December. Is this story starting to sound familiar? Could baby Ruby have been left in that snowy churchyard in the early hours of Christmas day because her mother was trying to hide her away amongst humanity and protect her from Sutekh?

In Pyramids of Mars, it is Horus, Sutekh's brother, who attempts to put a stop to Sutekh's evil plan with the Eye of Horus, could this also be related to the object that the Doctor and Ruby have to obtain from the nameless planet?

While Sutekh is the god of death and darkness, Horus is the god of light. Could Ruby be a messiah-like figure created in direct opposition to Sutekh with the sole purpose of destroying him when the time comes?

Isis is commonly associated with the Egyptian FLOOD myth which tells that when Osiris was killed, the Nile spilled over with the tears of Isis's grief. Now, we are aware that Mrs Flood is a widow, that she's always hiding herself away and that she is aware of Sutekh and his power... Could she be Isis in disguise secretly watching over her own child, waiting for the moment they can come together to try to defeat him?

One reason I think these theories are unlikely is that after being revealed as a god or at least some kind of god-human hybrid, I don't think it's likely that Ruby would continue to travel with the doctor, as she is speculated to do in series 15/2. but who knows! that sure would make things interesting.

In regards to the Trickster theory, I was Delighted to even get a trickster as ‘the god of traps’ mention last episode, but with all the talk about traps in UNIT HQ and the references I mentioned in my previous post, I wouldn’t be surprised if he does make a little cameo in this episode, or if he returns in S15/2. Also still not letting go of the Trickster being trapped in the ocean x ‘The War between the Land and the Sea’ x Mrs FLOOD theories idc idc. 

Okay finally here’s some more quickfire bananas theories I’m throwing at the red string board

Susan cameo 

Ruby has a perception filter that conceals either her true form or something that has attached itself to her but it cuts out at 73 Yards and that’s why everyone ran from her

The Doctor uses Rogue’s ring in defeating Sutekh

Mrs Flood (Mrs F) is Susan

Jenny is Ruby’s mother/Ruby is Susan’s mother/Kate is Ruby’s mother/Ruby is her own mother (i really dont wanna believe this one cause its boring)

Mrs Flood is connected to The Flood from The Waters of Mars

Rogue is Horus - ship shaped like a falcon

Finishing this with seven hours to go until I see the finale!! Still haven’t seen any spoilers but from the official teasers I saw and the fact that the episode is only 50 minutes, I highly doubt anything this lore-heavy could happen lol. thank u for reading and indulging me doctor who besties <3 see u on the other side

[maxinemartinsdrill]

spn women I have strong feelings about:

1. ROWENA ROWENA ROWENA. Rowena will get CRAZYYYYY interesting backstory dropped in various episodes and ppl just ignore it. like she grew up poor and when she had Crowley she was miserable and alone and she despised him for it because she needed to be strong and he felt like a weakness to her. and then she spends years fleeing witch hunts running around Europe and she finally grasps some level of power to find security because magic is her way out magic is her strength etc etc. and we first see her killing pimps and then helping those girls and then punishing them for lacking the strength she wants to see in them. like is she a nice person? absolutely not. but the reasons for her desperation to hold onto power are SO SOS SO COMPELLING. ppl would be allllllll over her if she were a man I mean that so sincerely.

AND THEN. She meets the Winchesters and they keep kidnapping her and she gets thrown into all this shit with Lucifer and she's not as strong as she thought she was. she's not strong enough to be safe. but the she gets to know Sam better and she finally gains the levels of power she's sought of angling for as well as some of the emotional security because he's vulnerable with her and he gets it a little bit. and she can let herself be bit more vulnerable and she can open herself up to feeling more than just scared or vengeful. the fact that when she's safe she will let herself love people??? excellent. like her becoming less evil to me is wayyyyy more interesting than the way spn does this a lot of the time and it feels rly fucking authentic.

AND EVERYTHING AFTER THA IS GREAT AS WELL. her trying to decide where she stands morally, admitting she did awful things to herself and getting on with it, only being able to love her son after he's dead, bequeathing Sam everything she had after she died. LIKE THERES SO MUCH THERE. and obligatory Lucifer trauma mention because samwena Lucifer trauma bonding was what got me back into spn and into Sam in the first place.

2. BILLIE. singing oh death in the hospital. holding Rowena while she completely loses itm she is THEE benevolent death to me. I love the fact shs one of the only characters who banters with Dean on his level of strange anachronisms. Love how when she was reaping him she was debating whether to tell him sam was still alive. possibly I am just obsessed with her because for once they gave a woman interiority in a way that wasn't inherently evil (like she wasn't portrayed as a saint for it but it was like just business) and then s15... At least 75% of my hatred of the cas confession comes from the fact they made Billie 'evil' in order to set it up.

3. Mary.... ohhhhhh mary. More about the implication than anything else - 'they couldn't stand each other at first but by the time we were done with them...' truly awful. the way she tries her whole life to get away from hunting and runs right back into it. and she comes back to deeply troubled children who she is expected to parent without having any idea of how to do this because she does not know them. and she's a mother to them not mary.

4. bela talbot :(( you're dying. And utterly alone. and you died to free yourself and you've been running and running your entire life but you can't run any longer. and there's someone on the phone, maybe the only person who can understand you. you're similar and he may as well be the only person left in the world. and then he calls you a bitch and says you deserve to die. and you get ripped apart by dogs and tortured for the rest of eternity.

5. KELLY KLINE!!!!!!!!! craziest mf on the show istg. again do I think the writers were trying to do anything serious with her? No. BUT THE IMPLICATIONS. like as I have rambled about before she is insanely republican and Christian pregnant with the antichrist AND on the run with a queer fallen angel who went on a blasphemous murdering homophobes and republicans spree a couple of years back. she is overwhelmingly positive despite this possibly because she is completely divorced from reality due to her bizarre politics (how to have an affair with the president in a god honouring way is it morally wrong to get an abortion if the fetus is the devil etc). and for some reason she is convinced that jack will save the world which is so fun!!!! I also really enjoy the fact that most of her bizarreness was left to be implied because it allows us to see her as a normal person doing her best in an awful situation and empathise with her. Despite the fact that they could have easily made her a full blown lady Jessica type (i don't know enough about dune to say if this is right) with the whole magical pregnancy manipulative religious delusions/cult type thing going. which would have still been interesting but also lacked depth in places. here they just tell you shes absolutely ridiculous and then have her interact completely normally despite the abnormal circumstances. which (accidentally???) gives her a lot going on. also the bit where she meets jack in heaven and realises he's dead the 'cas said he would look out for you' one of if not the most devastating line in late seasons spn not even joking.

honorary mentions:

Amara :))) literally 90% if when she is on screen I am unconvinced however gimme shelter was sooooooo good. SHES A FEMINIST!!! OBLIGATORY SHOUT OUT TO THE WIRE MOTHER CLOTH MKTHER DEAN AMARA POST

[riveriafalll]

BEFORE THE BEGINNING for whatever project you're most excited about rn 👀

-🍁

(loved the new nttd chapter by the way, wolfstar officially canon)

(and a new spn watcher 👀👀 you enjoying it??)

🍁! It’s been a while! I’m so glad you liked the chapter, I was feeling weird about it, but wolfstar canon can’t go wrong I guess.

BEFORE THE BEGINNING: three sentences about something that happened before the plot of my current project.

I’m currently very excited about my supernatural fic, even though it will probably be a while before it sees the light of day hahaha (I’m loving the show so much, I’m starting season three this week and already so so attached to all the characters. Much to my partners dismay, I’m a Sam girlie)

I will come up with a title eventually, but for now it’s drafted as “Woah it’s Emmy”

Three things that happened before main plot:

Despite John's attempts to raise Emmy as Michael, whenever he was gone, she would deliberately rebel against it with the help of her brothers, painting her nails, learning how to do makeup and wearing dresses. On one occasion, after John was a particularly terrible father, Dean and Sam organised a 'girl's night' where they all painted each other's nails, Emmy did Dean's eyeliner, and they went out to a thrift shop to try on ridiculous outfits. Dean even modeled a mini-skirt, causing Sam and Emmy to have hysterics in the shop.

In one of the places they stayed long enough to go to school, someone shoved Sam into a locker in front of Emmy. Dean only managed to stop her from pulling one of the hunting knives she had on her through sheer luck, scruffing her like a puppy and throwing her over his shoulder. She was later thoroughly scolded about how they 'really didn't need to have armed assault on her record and she needs to be more careful and only threaten jackasses with knives when there aren't any witnesses'.

Right up until she was thirteen, whenever there were lightning storms, Emmy would crawl into Dean's bed to sleep. Sam never minded the lightning, but he hated sleeping alone and would always end up joining them. Even after she deemed herself 'too old' to crawl into her older brother's bed, Dean would always end up sitting with her by the window sill as she stared out with fear, and would stroke her hair until she fell asleep again so he could carry her back to bed.

So there we are!!! Woah its Emmy starts at the Pilot episode, and will go right through to S15, I have a fair chunk of plot so far planned out (and so much trauma) and I greatly look forward to giving her even more trauma!

[ananke-xiii]

Don't Apocalypse. Open Inside.

As usual, be warned that I don't know where I'm going with this. It's just me trying to understand some of the myths we live by.

This time this rambling is brought to you by an article about "Lost" where it described the island as a "cork" separating the world from all kinds of evil.

So I've been thinking about Pandora's box.

Stories like Lost, Buffy, Supernatural, Game of Thrones, The Walking Dead and probably many others all play with the ancient idea of the possibility that Evil can be contained in a box, in a cave, in a cure, in an island, in a cage or beyond a wall. Which is to say that they envision the possibility that Evil can be put back into its right place, hidden, sealed and forgotten.

In other words, these are stories (with all due respect with the "whatever happened, happened" approach in Lost) that entertain the possibility that we can go back to a time, a better time, where Evil is bottled up and away from us. A time where Pandora didn't open the fucking box. Or when Eve didn't eat that damn fruit. Or maybe even better (worse): these stories are telling us that, thanks to the sacrifice of one and Just The Chosen One, we can reset time, re-create our own personal big bang, reshape the arrow of time into a new BC and AC.

Because both Pandora and Eve are characters in myths that speak about the creation of time, the separation from a Golden Age and the impossibility to go back UNLESS someone pays the price for all.

In these myths the ones doing the sacrificing are respectively Prometheus and Jesus, although the first was met with a better fate than the last because eventually Chiron showed up and took his place. Which of course means that there still is someone being impaled and getting their liver daily eaten somewhere in the Caucasus' mountains for our collective right to have the fire and our right to be free from our original sin.

Therefore, in my own understanding of things, these stories are all more or less conservative (full disclosure: I stopped watching TWD after s6 maybe and I simply see GOT's ending as a joke or a prank played upon the viewers, I don't respect it at all) in that they are content with the preservation of the status quo. A few people might take the bullet but overall: Apocalypse averted.

But what does "apocalypse" really mean? It means something like "to reveal". So maybe methinks that we should actually all go get a look at that Pandora's vase and go see what's up in the Garden of Eden. Maybe we shouldn't put a "cork" on it or put the lid back on. The thing is that we know that there are zombies inside and we don't want to look. In the darkest pits inside us we know that we say we want change and free will and control over our lives but we don't want to pay the price for it ourselves: let the heroes solve our issues and good luck to them!

This is why I think that TWD is less conservative because in that show the door was opened and, as expected, it wasn't pretty: Rick Grimes wakes up from a coma and the world revealed itself in all of its glory and all of its brutality.

Same goes for Supernatural s10-11 (s5 and s15's endings are still conservative in their essence): the key is turned, Bluebeard's room is opened and inside there's darkness and blood and all sorts of horror. What's even worse (better) in Supernatural is that we explore Pandora's box but the heroes are unscathed. No, better! One of them gets another special bond with a cosmic entity and the other one says he would do it all over again! They caused the death of hundreds of people, one of then committed human sacrifice by proxy and he would do it all over again! The other one even gets a GIFT (the pipeline from Rowena killing his putative son Oskar to free Dean of the mark to Amara gifting Dean with his mother Mary is as heart-breaking and fucked-up as it sounds, there really is a fine line between gift and sacrifice) from said cosmic entity who's brought havoc on earth and eaten souls in the dozens!!! Talk about honesty and reality! People get punished for the sins of the heroes. I find it absolutely fascinating.

What I want to say is that, perhaps, we should start telling stories where we relinquish what I personally consider an obsession with "going back to how things were". Like, factually that cannot be done: the box was opened, the fruit was eaten and now here we are, we invented time to try and control and order what's around us cause we have no fucking clue about what's going on and now we're in this mess. Maybe we can't go back but we can go beyond. Maybe we can do that if we stop buying into this idea that someone will come and make it alright. Maybe we can stop waiting for our Parents to show up at the cross: they have abandoned us and that can't be changed. What we can do is change our narratives, reveal the myths we live by and start co-authoring them. It'll get ugly. Very ugly. Maybe this is the price that must be paid.

[hidingoutbackstage]

So now that RvB is over, I'm curious: Which season from the later era of RvB do you think is the worst (Shisno Duology/16-17, Zero/18 or Restoration/19)?

Personally if I had to rank those three, Zero/18 is the worst, then Restoration/19, and then Shisno Duology/16-17. Shisno Duology I think has more redeeming elements (like FINALLY getting a Donut arc and giving Sister depth and moments that showed of Wash and Carolina’s relationship) and even though it had writing elements I really didn’t like (Tucker being more of an asshole, Grif suddenly being a MAJOR asshole for no reason despite the arc he JUST went through in s15, trying to insert gds but actually they’re just AI but they’re the most advanced AI in the world to a stupid degree) it at least tried to give ALL of our main characters something to do, like it felt ooc and annoying at times but it was still THEM and they were still THERE.

The same canNOT be said for Restoration or Zero. Zero I hate the most because it stars an all new cast that they tell us is so cool and we should care about them and take them seriously, but they never show us anything worthy of that, and it also just feels like the creators of Zero watched the Freelancer Saga and took away that fans thought what was interesting was the cool action scenes and how badass these guys were and the emotional conflicts and how they sidelined our main characters. It’s like they didn’t realize that the Freelancers are supposed to be bad people and we were watching to see them eventually fall. As for how Zero treats the three (3) main characters from the og it DOES have, holy fuck is it terrible. Carolina is way undermined and sidelined for these people she should not care about, Wash’s disability was cured in a single throwaway line before he was put out of commission anyway, and Tucker, oh man Tucker. My blood is already boiling. They turned him back into a creep and an asshole, separated him from his team for no reason, KILLED HIM and gave his SUPER IMPORTANT SWORD to some random chick who STILL HAS THE SWORD AT THE END SO FUCK EVERYTHING THE SHOW SAID MADE TUCKER SPECIAL IG.

Sorry. Got heated there. Anyway Restoration is between those two in terms of quality, but it’s still bad. The character writing jumped all over the place, the pacing was atrocious, it felt like they didn’t have enough time to execute the story they were trying to do, while at the same time they wasted so much time. They tried to make Simmons the main character, which doesn’t come across AT ALL, they sideline basically everyone but Simmons, Caboose, Grif, and Sarge, and still don’t really give any satisfying narrative conclusion to any of them. Sarge’s death is stupid, Simmons staying in the army is stupid, Grif retiring and therefore being away from Simmons is stupid, and Caboose doesn’t really get an arc or honestly anything that gives him character, he’s just a plot device. They make Tucker the Meta and framed it as a big important thing in the marketing and then had all the characters act blasé about it, didn’t let anyone who WOULD be impacted by Meta!Tucker, actually get impacted by it, he got 23 total lines in the story, they tortured Tucker for months that felt like YEARS and then didn’t allow him to process any of that HORRIFIC TRAUMA and sent him out of the series with a SEX JOKE. Wash’s B plot was TOTALLY pointless and doesn’t make sense narratively given the end of s13. Donut was given a cameo that was just one more offensive gay joke. I swear the only good thing was the Chex reunion at the very end. It was also poorly made, with the animation looking rlly bad at times, stuff like Caboose’s double knees and the mouse cursor on screen the most notable (but also there was just a lot of the action that looked rough) and as a series ending finale it was a major fucking letdown on pretty much all fronts, but despite all that, it still isn’t worse than Zero. Imagine that.

[addictedtostorytelling]

i’ve been rewatching csi from the beginning (because i’ve never been able to make it past season 9 without grissom) and i’m finally up to the end of season 7… i have like 3 episodes left and i’m SAD. this team dynamic is so special to me and i feel this slow crawl of devastation that i’m (again) witnessing the end of what has been for 7 seasons. soon sara won’t be her usually cute and passionate self (in love too) that we get see in season 7, and she’ll leave, and then warrick is going to die, and grissom will leave… and nothing will ever be the same on this show. i don’t know how to get over it. how did you do it? how do i move on? how do i mourn this team dynamic that i’ve loved for so long and get used to new variations of the team? god, i wish grissom came back for a proper full ep earlier than the freaking series finale and the new show. i’m just… not sure how to enjoy without them all 😭

hi, anon!

yours is a very heartfelt question, and, unfortunately, i am probably the wrong person to answer it, because i never really "got over" the changes to the show post-s7, either.

not gonna lie to you: i have only watched the s10-s15 era of the show once through in its entirety.

the s8 and s9 angst i can deal with in order to get to the happy gsr ending in episode 09x10 "one to go." however, i hate all later seasons of the show beyond that point with all the salt that is in me, not only because of the cast turnover but also because the writing and production values of the show changed so much as to make the series (and the remaining characters) unrecognizable.

most of the time, i just straight-up ignore the fact that those seasons exist, preferring to imagine my own canon-divergent au version of the show (starting from the end of s7) instead.

i really do not engage with them unless someone sends me an ask.

that so, i can't exactly tell you how to learn to accept the new team or get comfortable in that altered narrative landscape. i never did, on either count.

instead, my advice is this: keep in mind you're not obligated to finish watching csi if doing so isn't enjoyable to you. you fell in love with a particular group of characters, story universe, and cast dynamic, and if those things went away or ship of theseus'd themselves into a production that is fundamentally different from the one you fell in love with in every way save name, you don't have to stick around anymore.

remember: you're watching this show as a hobby, not a job.

the #1 rule of fandom is to follow your bliss, so if you're not naturally motivated to finish the series—and especially if the thought of doing so is actively causing you dread—then you don't have to force the issue.

give yourself permission to say, "for me, the series ends with episode 08x01 'dead doll' or episode 09x10 'one to go' (or wherever you want to draw your line in the sand)" and then walk away.

if you need closure, write your own au version of what happens after that point or else find some fanfic author whose vision aligns with your own. keep living blissfully in your s1-s7 happy place with the original team graveyard, where grissom is the boss and sara stays in vegas and warrick doesn't die and they all keep solving cases together until retirement.

and then don't sweat it.

you're not being a "bad fan" or letting anyone down, and there's still plenty of material in the early seasons for you to engage with.

now.

if you absolutely feel you must finish the show (for whatever reason), i guess one thing i might suggest is to engage with work from fans who genuinely enjoy the later seasons. i know there are some folks in this fandom who adore the new characters and team graveyard version 2.0. they write meta and fic and make gifsets about it, and they have a total blast doing so. hanging around their blogs might help you to find things to appreciate.

another thing you might do is give yourself permission to "cherry-pick." watch just to see what happens. if there's stuff you like, go ahead and incorporate it into your conception of the show. the rest, discard. as i said above, you're not obligated to enjoy the show in a certain way and especially not "across the board." so if you like the fact sara has mother-in-law drama but hate the fact she gets divorced? then keep the first thing and toss out the second. if canon makes a stupid-ass decision, you can elect to ignore it.

and regardless of whether you ultimately decide to finish out your watch-through or not, don't forget: the beginning of the story—i.e., those seven golden seasons you so love—will always be there, and you can return to them as often as you want. the beauty of a story is that it exists in perpetuity. grissom, catherine, warrick, nick, sara, and greg will all still be there waiting for you, and you can continue to enjoy their dynamics however you best prefer them.

good luck, anon! if you choose to continue your watch, i hope you enjoy yourself. if not, then i hope you have fun mentally setting up shop in the early seasons.

i certainly do!

thanks for the question! please feel welcome to send another any time.

[mittensmorgul]

rewatching 15.18 and suffering afresh!

I need to talk about Billie, though. While Cas is telling Dean he’s made of love. We all know.

But Billie.

For years, I’ve been writing about how she’s Dabb’s avatar in the story. She was. Which makes it pretty damn poetic how-- and when-- she is taken out of it.

(I just watched her and Cas get ripped from the story and am currently sobbing on the floor of the dungeon beside Dean)

Cas’s love confession is the mechanism of his own happiness that summoned the Empty. But he triggered it deliberately to also remove Billie from the narrative.

Metaphorically, Dabb’s control over it.

And this is why I’m just as mad about Billie’s lack of redemption as I am about Cas’s lack of redemption.

She was tricked just as much as TFW was in this episode. She truly believed that her mission of Killing Chuck was their only salvation, just as much as Dean in 15.17 had become single-minded in that mission to the point he nearly destroyed everything else in pursuit of it. He pulled a GUN on SAM. That needs a lot of exclamation points for emphasis, but I try to be a decent person to those with screen readers, so y’all get this whole sentence instead of a string of bang marks...

As Billie told Dean and Cas when they broke into her Reading Room to try to kill her, they were in the wrong place. She had no interest in killing all their friends. It wasn’t her disappearing everyone as they’d been led to believe. It was always Chuck, all along. He was to blame for it. They’d wasted their time going after her. But without her, they also had no real hope of killing Chuck... or so SHE believed.

She said her ONLY mission now that she was dying was killing Dean.

Which... actually happened in the finale.

Because Billie didn’t understand how she’d been manipulated into doing Chuck’s bidding for him until it was too late. She spent all of s15 single-mindedly devoted to killing Chuck when that was never going to succeed. Because Chuck wrote ALL the rules to the universe, including the ones that Billie existed by as Death.

She had Grand Plans to just... keep the balance (as Amara had been urging Chuck toward in 15.17 before he broke her will and devoured her... yes Amara got short-shrift just as much as Billie did... and I won’t even go into how Rowena received the exact same treatment as a self-sacrifice in 15.03, other than to just state it plainly here).

But Chuck-- the one who can changes the rules on the fly and bend everything in the universe to his will EXCEPT for the will of humanity-- was too committed to the Writer Bit. Too invested in his own story to let it go. When it didn’t go his way, instead of adapting and letting it become something else, he chose to punish all the characters he claimed were his favorites.

Chuck ended up writing the worst, most nihilistic fanfic of his own stories just to burn it all to the ground. Tormenting his characters for no other reason than pettiness. Because he could.

Dabb was never Chuck. Dabb was always Billie. And in the final season-- out past 14.20 when we got that wild shot of Jack, Billie, and the Entity in the Empty... Dabb was all three of them.

And what happens to Jack in 15.19? He’s been Emptied Out, having been destroyed in the Empty and then brought back to Earth with no power, involuntarily absorbing power and draining the life from everything around him until he becomes... the perfect vessel for Chuck. He becomes Chuck at the end of 15.19.

Just in time for Dabb to execute... whatever the heck that finale was. Chuck’s final story.

Chuck won. He got the last say using Dabb’s in-story avatar like a puppet to bring it all to fruition. And Billie is the proof of it. And I am so tired now and can’t bring myself to watch 15.20 again yet, so I’m turning off the tv now before it’s too late and probably gonna go read my post 15.19 fix it fic instead that puts all of this to rights.

[shallowrambles]

OOF. Imaginary lovers never turn you down.

This is one of Dean's Harper-coded neuroses for sure.

I think because John was hot-and-cold caretaker, Dean is very...insecurely attached. Even as a child, we see him balking at Sam seeking college, to the point of accidentally smothering the dreams on occasion, and pressuring even when tries to be "sorta okay with it." (Like how we see him in Drag Me Away from You)

///

So anyway, it's a neurosis I love love love to see. Dean will use phrases like, "This isn't really you," and occasionally always-and-never statements whenever he's glomped on a brand new ally to fulfill the fantasy of "never letting him down / disappointing him." SUPERMAN, even. That old hero worship.

But much like with Harper Sayles, even Vance isn't Vance! And so, none of Dean's idealized figures are really them either. He struggles with balancing trust and instinct. (Note: This is how all relationships tend to work. It's what's so LOVELY about Dean growing through these imperfections. He gets older and wiser. "He can try to get better, every day.")

He eventually starts to accept the mistakes of his loved ones: Sam, Mary, Cas. HIMSELF. We see in s15 when he insists he always "knew Chuck was squirrelly" when he clearly didn't. Dean is so used to being right about people/intuition, it's REALLY had to swallow when he's dead wrong. "I didn't wanna admit I was wrong." (He got played by Crowley, by Cain, then Chuck. It sucks to get manipulated so thoroughly!)

///

Anyway. This theme of imperfection, of seeing one another is even what's driving SPNwin.

It asks the question: "What if mom and dad had been REALLY able to truly see one another?"

///

ANYWAY, this stuck out to me!!! I don't know if I want it to be a meta or not, so it goes on the vent blog instead...

IN SEASON 10, Dean is spiraling and running. It doesn't matter who. He's disinhibited, used as a pawn to ensure a "rich man's" continued place as ruler, just as Michael would have used him as a sword to win a war/maintain power.

In season 9-10, Dean is vulnerable. He's reeling from rejection and being shunned for his mistakes. This makes so much sense in the terms of the scripted season 8, with Dean saying "I love you" and getting rejected by Cas, and then again for trying to save Sam's life and “trusting the wrong person" the way Cas (in parallel) trusted Metatron to try to protect others…

After spending all of season 8 coming to terms with the imperfections of his family and loosening up on some of his rigid expectations, after dealing with the complexity of both his little brother AND his would-be love interest, it all blows up in Dean’s face.

Itssooooooooo

//

-> Dean was rejected by his bro for trying to do the right thing, for trying an experimental treatment to save his life, which lead to both the unintended rejection of Cas and Kevin's death. (Sam will later "get Charlie killed" in his attempts to save Dean with ....an experimental hail-Mary.)

-> And in season 9, Cas got back into the Angel war, and Dean didn't like him being a military man again, fearing that it would be Groundhog day all over again. And so, Dean continued to spiral. He was continually paralleled with both Josie Sands-Henry relationship and Josie's shadow self, Abbadon, a knight of Hell, a shrieking wrathful pain.

Dean is become like knight of Hell Abaddon herself at first, before later reversing course to parallel another knight of Hell: Cain.

//

I think of this like Dean's reversal power arc. Dean is become like Rowena: I'll never be powerless again. And his whole world reverses: he gets to call out Sam for the evil Sam is doing, Sam gets to be the one who makes mistakes when trying to save him, and Cas gets the "wife" treatment instead of the war husband one.

Dean is the one to beat Cas up for once, and Cas is one of the characters who gets the brunt of Dean's brutality, because Cas is the one who hurt him the most.

Which brings me to this. Oof. Imaginary people. Imaginary lovers. Escape to the fantasy world. It doesn't matter WHO. Just keep running.

In season 9-10, Dean escapes more fully into a more extreme version of his season 8 neuroses, a world where no one lets him down, except this time he's flipping from imaginary person to person, searching for anyone that "won't let him down."

And guess what? The world still does. And Dean's tired already. Chasing freedom didn't free him or bring contentment.

With the toiling work of Hell on his tail, he runs again, this time to Anne-Marie, who despite his demonness and Crowley's ire, Dean seems to be catching feelings for. Crowley clocks it right away: "Damanged. I can see the old you falling for that."

(Because Dean already is. His humanity is a glimmer, but it's still there. We'll see it in demon Dean’s dispatchment of Lester rather than his assigned target, the wife.)

And more than that, Crowley misunderstands Dean's whole deal: that he is simply running. Running, running, running. Anyone will do.

"Somewhere else.” He says this to Anne-Marie. In a way Dean’s running is checking out of life, a bit like season 7 Cas (nihilism/existential crisis) and season 8 Sam (white picket fence as purely escapism).

But you can't run from yourself.

Dean's humanness hangs on, even in the midst of his Hell tasks, and his humanness persists even in seedy bars with random women-he-should-feel-nothing-for. It is a vexing thing.

He's supposed to feel nothing, to be a rolling stone.

And he isn't.

///

And Dean himself has been a little bit like Anne-Marie herself. It's an old wound by this point, but I see it as a nod to the whole Cas-Raphael thing.

Dean was so busy spiraling over Cas being in danger in s8-10 that he never had time to process all of what happened with Cas’s betrayal. He's still hurt.

And with s9 Cas rejoining the angels, though understandable and well-intentioned...it opened that old vein.

& things like this are in parallel too.

Cause Cas was saying he was doing it for Dean...and then he kept going, punishing Heaven. (There are real feelings for Dean in the mix, but nothing is singular…it’s always tied up in other things.)

I disagree with Metatron in saying that Cas “in love with humanity” solely explained his actions. Yes, Cas is motivated by protecting his human fam, but there have been incredible moments where he wanted to punish the other angels, where he inflicted unnecessary violence on demons (like the demon looting and fleeing Hell in 15x03 The Rupture.

Demon Dean’s “I protected your honor, didn't I?" sounds a lot to me like, Cas’s “Has any but your closest kin ever done more for you?"

Cas did all that for him, or so he said, and yet...

///

Because imho what was going one with Cas wasn't solely about protecting his human family.

There's other complicated stuff in the mix.

It was also about the feelings of betrayal BY Heaven. (Which is why he didn't even trust his own rebel angels!) Cas was utterly rejected by Heaven, MURDERED without a thought by Raphael.

Cas gave into his authoritarianism because he was angry. He was emotional and he was channeling that. They need a firm hand because he loves them. You know, like the specter of pizza man and the babysitter.

///

And yeah, it’s okay that Dean hasn't fully reckoned with that. Dean in s9 said, “Cas, I know you try to be a good guy, okay?" Anne-Marie...she almost...echoes that sentiment when she said “I thought you were a good guy playing bad.”

It's off-key, but it's...similar somehow.

I love that Cas toppled from the Superman pedestal, hitting at Dean's emotional interiority and challenges in the most extreme example possible!

I feel like Lily Sunder flirts with the shadow version of this, because when she first met Ishim, she thought he was PERFECT, too.

It's not one-to-one, but it sure as Hell is getting at Dean's "Cas makes so many mistakes" anxieties, which AU Michael will tap into, too!

But mistake-making IS humanity! AU Michael doesn't get that. (Metatron eventually will. "Sure they lie and they cheat and they steal...but they never give up. YOU do!")

///

So back to Anne-Marie. When she calls Dean on his deeper issues, he:

DEAN: *belittles her judgment and demeans her, calling her a skank* ANNE-MARIE: I'm so screwed up myself. I'm gonna walk out of here thinking I actually deserved that.

This conversation is a a little like this one, where Cas belittles Dean's human status. It's not *skank* but he does call him *just a man.*

CAS: You're just a man.

Anyway, when Dean starts becoming enamored with Anne-Marie, he's not only clinging to humanity, not only starting to love even when he isn’t supposed to be able to (another Cas parallel), he’s doing his own version of soul-searching, seeing himself in someone else.

But because this is his reversal arc, where HE has the power, he gets to be in Cas's more powerful position here and he gets to lecture Sam.

(Until Amara, ofc, where he will abruptly flip to a powerless default.)

ALSO!!!! There’s this swirling painful question of being nothing more than an EXCUSE to do violence…or used as THE MUSE to give another false person’s work “more importance.”

Dean is afraid he is both for Cas.

I mean. Cas left after season 5, after a weird convo where Dean tries to figure out if Cas plans to stay and/or cares about him by “fishing” for info.

Cas also left in season 8 to go and lock up Heaven behind him forever, etc etc.

Dean worries that he’s more muse than loved one. A banner to wave in the war. An excuse. Inspirational, at best.

///

And Dean is working through his defense mechanisms. And like I said, idealization is a normal part of most relationships.

It usually occurs in the early phases and signals immaturity. But choosing to move past these phases, choosing to stay with people and keep striving can be a wonderful theme of resilience, even if in SPN does it in extreme strokes.

///

And then we get MARY, the motherload of Dean's idealization.

In season 15, when Dean says, "My mom is my hero," he means it in a different way to his early idealizations. He means warts and all! It’s so great!

///

Which is why I love Optimism SOOOOOooooo much. You get Harper, who struggles with similar things...and we get that dynamic scene of her crowing about perfection is contrasted with Dean's wisdom he's giving to Jack!

BONUS thoughts:

Cas, Raphael, and Dean, and the triangle with Dean, Hell, and Anne-Marie reminds me of this SPNwin scene:

Ah, yes, another fave motif. The John-Cas-Jack boxing motif.

Anyhoo, we have John saying he wants to PROTECT Mary...to KEEP HER FROM DYING. He's doing this to protect her.

And...

Yeah, sometimes I will kiss Robbie on the mouth.

BONUS BONUS thought: in SPNprime, Mary does the same thing for her kids....resonating with John's journal and his fear. Mary dives head-first into trying to eradicate ALL the danger...to win the ENTIRE war so her sons can be safe.

(Aside///Samuel C does this in SPNwin too...with the box that would eat up all the evil in the world.)

I love the theme. Mary nearly destroys the thing she was wanting to protect in the first place. (Like Henry. Like John and his boys. Like so many others.)

BONUS:

It's not either/or! For the matter, why is it peace OR freedom, never both!

[aliusfrater]

these are the mad rambles of someone almost done with my first spn watch & avoiding school work but if i were to create a reality with my ideal supernatural storyline. FIRST i would trap the time period in about 2005 - 2012; as in time, in terms of fashion & technology, would progress a lot more slowly and would resemble the progression of 2005 - 2012. SECOND i would switch around the The Darkness & God storyline with the Jack Kline one so lucifer would be freed/get free in season 9 and jack would be born at the end of it. jack wouldn't be immediately born as a young adult but he would grow super quickly (therefore properly cementing his place in adulthood). both cas and meg would see their taking care of jack as their redemption but get side tracked when sam is admitted to that ward and cas takes on sam's mental trauma but in return cas makes them promise to take care of jack for him. instead of speed running jack's character arc, he has a very similar one to s1 - 5 sam but in the context of the The Darkness & God storyline which is basically jack learning the significance of family (especially with sam & dean now being the eldest generation of hunter) and averting 'fate' by making amara & god make up as siblings but along with all the conflicts of the mark of cain and lucifer's abuse. by the end of it, amara brings back BOTH kelly and mary which would, like sam's arc, be 5 seasons and be over by the end of s14. s15 is about killing lucifer. it starts as if everything is back to normal for sam and dean — they're hunting smaller stuff like ghosts together again and sam is looking into finishing school online. Just to be able to Finish. but jack comes to them because kelly has gone missing (lucifer has kidnapped her) and the season is about them trying to get her back but ends with her dying, leaving jack with sam, dean & cas.

[mlobsters]

supernatural s15e12 galaxy brain (teleplay: robert berens, story: meredith glynn, robert berens)

maybe i should skip the recap in these later seasons, i'm exhausted already :p the special boy opening a nexus to get dark kaia home, right right

two moons on earth 2, ok. i don't know why that makes me think of epcot/spaceship earth

CHUCK It’s monologue time.

don't get grumpy, nic

RADIO SHED CLERK Sir, this is a Radio Shed.

that was cute

this is all very the matrix reloaded architect scene, but parallel instead of serial

CHUCK Dean says I’m not gonna get the ending I want. I don’t know. Maybe I… I… I mean, that shouldn’t matter, right? I’ve gotten what I want from hundreds of Sam’s and Dean’s. I could get what I want from a hundred more. And I don’t care. Those other toys, they don’t… they don’t… spark joy. But Sam and Dean… the real Sam and Dean… they do. They challenge me… they disappoint me… they surprise me. They’re… the ones.

the ones. uh huh

so wiping out all the other worlds, great. presumably relevant to the dark kaia business

aw, jody. my favorite found family character. wish she'd been in more episodes, but glad we got what we did. kim rhodes just has a great onscreen presence with the boys

speight jr back directing another episode. he must have racked up a good number. 11! with 4 in s15

CAS Well, I have my concerns, but… Jack trusts Billie, and I trust Jack. SAM But what about cosmic balance, Cas? I mean, Jack’s gonna kill God? What about Amara? DEAN I don’t know. I don’t know. But I have seen Billie’s library, and I have spent time with her. I… Well, “trust” is a strong word, but… I believe in her. There’s no one more committed to the rules than she is. She’s probably got it all figured out. SAM Probably? Like she had the Mal’ak box figured out? DEAN Yeah, I dunno. I mean, she’s still Death. She was right about Rowena. SAM All I’m saying is, I wish we knew more. DEAN Yeah, I got questions too, but right now this is the only plan we got. SAM Right.

a) i trust jack->he trusts billie->fine by me! is some wild logic, being that i don't think jack's ever really been in the best place to make massive decisions because he is just A Baby in the grand scheme of things b) dean remarkably chill c) sam and i over here like ????!?!?

jack lying about talking to the death-proxy, never good

CAS I knew it, Dean. When I was with Jack’s mother, she… You know, Kelly just had faith that Jack would be good for the world, and I felt it, too. I knew it. And then, when everything went wrong, and God took him from us… I was lost in a way I’ve never been before. Because I knew the story wasn’t over. I knew Jack wasn’t done. And I was right.

LOL kaia is alive over in that monster world??? of course. and her world is dying which she knows because there was some weird weather i guess. claro

Writer Robert Berens tweeted after the episode "The arc of S1 of Wayward Sisters was always going to be broadly Dark Kaia vs the WaywardSisters, culminating in Kaia’s rescue and Dark Kaia’s tragic defeat. I always wanted to make that death right. But with limited real estate on #Supernatural I had resigned myself to Kaia just being dead. It was only by embedding it in S15 stories (Chuck, Jack’s return to the Bunker, Billie’s plan) it felt like it was possible to tie that loose end in a relevant and appropriate way.

mmk. perennial problem of Too Much Plot Shit

MERLE Yeah, I’ve been watching you screw up. One measly life on the line, and you’re ready to risk it all? That’s not just dumb. That’s Winchester dumb. DEAN Hey!

ok merle! that, which i presume is a wig, is really pretty except the hairline is looking stark. always good to see some loose skin on a woman rep, especially on someone who isn't very old

i thought the bad place was the spiky world? oh, no, i guess that was the apocalypse world. so many ... places

ok sure, fix some warding amara pulled down.

i like how magic always starts with potpourri

saw a gif of sam helping dean gear up and zipping up his pack or whatever so i went to look for it but since cas has some moments with dean this episode.... well. needless to say, i did not find it after a number of pages scrolling for it :p dont make the gifs, nic. trying to get through this episode in one sitting

DEAN How you feeling ‘bout this? SAM Honestly? Feels like we’re taking a big, probably stupid risk. Feels good. Disobeying cosmic entities, doing the, uh… dumb, right thing? Feels like we’re back.

cute cute

LOL jack's gotten a lot better at creating a nexus! kapow done

surprising zero people dark kaia wants to stay in the dying world, in fact i thought that was the plan to begin with because she felt so wrong on earth

oh, dying world as in ok she's actually dead right now world

jody gets another kid, of course. and has some wild sideburns on that pixie. mutton chop aspirations

so long, merle. billie looks very pleased with herself

billie is beautiful and i do enjoy her, but julian richings was so good as death. and hey, i remember his line about reaping god! he had charm and was loose but could snap back and be terrifyingly intimidating when dean got too comfortable. but billie is just.. very stiff and pretty one-note to me. a bummer

CAS I don’t understand. Why would God write the blueprint to his own death? BILLIE He didn’t. The books write themselves. After God made the world, he couldn’t stop. He wanted more. But he needed to create a perfect harmony… a Swiss watch, so this world could keep tick, tick, ticking in his absence. He had no choice but to build himself into the framework. It’s his only weakness. DEAN So, Chuck doesn’t know what’s inside the book? BILLIE No one can read their books unless I let them. SAM What about Jack? He’s in God’s book? BILLIE And so are you. I told you, Dean. You and your brother have work to do. This is your destiny. You are the messengers of God’s destruction.

that doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me but okay, sure

we're wrapping up plotlines left and right here people, make it snappy

[xviruserrorx]

Title: "Under A Full Moon"

Oh all the beloved characters who got all of 5 minutes of screen time or who got killed off in a heartbeat. In good old me fashion here's a short little thing in which Hayden doesn't die and with Kate goes and find solace in company in one another including with Garth and his little family, set before s15.... And also in good me fashion this is for @flashfictionfridayofficial #219 but it's uh... it's Saturday 😅. But! It's fine it's all good. Enjoy!

FlashFictionFriday - Tumblr | Ao3 - [Prev <- • -> Next]

Fandom: Supernatural

Prompt(s): Under The Night Sky

Relationship(s): Hayden Foster & Kate

Character(s): Hayden Foster, Kate the Werewolf

Important Tag(s): Canon Divergence, Hayden Foster Lives, Comfort no hurt, Talking, Crying, No Beta we die like all the characters in Supernatural didn't

Rating: Gen

Warning(s): No Archive Warnings Apply, Mention of Death

Word Count: 1,005

"Hey." Kate laid her hand on her arm. "You won't. It's scary, I know, but it gets easier to live with. I mean look at Garth." Hayden chuckled, sniffling and rubbing at her nose. "You've been a werewolf longer than he has." "Yeah, but he has Bess and Gertie. They're purebloods and they live alright. And you have somewhere and someone to come to when things get rough." Hayden smiled, reaching over, laying her hand over Kate's. "So do you." Or On the night of a full moon, Kate and Hayden prep with the Fitzgerald's for a change and talk about a few things.

Continue reading below or over on Ao3

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"Got the bag?"

Hayden looked over the truck, Kate coming around the car, loading the back seat with two carry on bags.

She shouldered the large duffle in question. "Yeah." She chucked it in the bed of the truck. A sigh escaped her as she turned around and leaned her weight against the car.

A gust blew, making the fur on the hood of her coat tickled the back of her neck. She shoved her hands in her coat, looking up at the stars littering like specks of dust around the full moon.

She heard the door slam shut and gravel crunch underneath shoes.

"You've been quiet."

She tried for something of a smile, knowing fully well she had been quiet to a point that wasn't in her control. "Guess this werewolf isn't a chatterbox."

Kate leaned on the back of the truck beside her. "I wasn't either at first, if that's any consolation."

Hayden looked at her, watching her fiddle with the bracelet on her wrist, looking so well put together despite the looming brightness in the sky that meant the inevitable.

"You never talk about it," she spoke. "How you got… bitten."

Kate forced a smile. "It's a long story." She shrugged her off.

"Shortened version then."

Kate licked lips, eyes flickering down before she nodded her head. "Okay." She took a deep breath. "Let's see. Freshman in college, I made some friends here and there but nothing too serious. Then… there's these two guys sitting across the way from me that are filming me with a camera that they have no clue how to work." She chuckled at the memory. "So naturally I went over and gave them some tips."

Hayden smiled. "Naturally."

"I think you might know the story from here." Kate shifted in place. "Girl meets guy, they fall in love, guy's best friend has a small crush on the girl but nothing enough that she warrants him any attention." She looked down at her shoes, kicking the gravel as the smile faded from her face. "Only it doesn't end with a battle of two guys fighting over the girl, no, because there's a werewolf. The boyfriend gets bitten, and there's two hunters in town on a case."

Hayden nodded her head, knowing all too well who the two hunters were and what led after.

"The best friend loses it," Kate continued, "gets himself turned into a werewolf out of jealousy and he kills the boyfriend; turning the Girl before she kills him." She cleared her throat. "Not the best story, but not the worst either."

"What did you do?"

"That's the longer story, but I ran, up to a point."

Hayden bounced her leg in place, the urge of what was to come burning under her skin, making her want to rip everything off. She rolled back her shoulder, her stomach twisting in on itself all while Kate stood perfectly still; her only giveaway being the skin around her nails she continued to pick at.

She forced out a breath, eyes burning as she dug her nails into her palms. "I don't think I can." 

Her voice broke as Kate looked at her.

"The turn?" Kate asked.

She shook her head. "No—that too, just…." She sniffed. "I can't run. I can't go back to school. I can't go home," she continued. "I drive by my house sometimes and my mom is all alone. This thing that turned me killed my brother and…" She swallowed, wiping at her face for the tears that fell.

"It's best not to go back," Kate said after a minute. "I know you want to, but It only hurts worse, and if you do go back and try to pretend everything's okay, well…" She shook her head. "They end up paying the price and it only hurts them more and you by having to leave again."

"Sounds like you know all too well."

"There's the rest of the story," Kate said. "I went back. Thought it would keep my family from thinking I had run off or disappeared."

"From mourning," Hayden stated.

"Yeah." She nodded. "Then there was the car accident. My little sister… I couldn't see her die so I turned her."

Hayden didn't say anything.

"I tried to make her like me. Just feed off of animal hearts, no humans, no hurting anybody. I tried to get her to stay off the hunters radars so that they wouldn't pick up on our trail." She yanked harder at one of her nails. "But then she went off the rail. She gave in. She hurt people, turning them, trying to make a pack. Then eventually…"

"A hunter got to her?"

She scoffed. "In a way, yeah."

"I'm sorry."

Kate shook her head. "I should have known better."

"Does anybody know this?" She questioned. "I mean, I'm terrified of that happening to me. What if I lose it? What if I hurt someone? I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I did."

"Hey." Kate laid her hand on her arm, some contact to comfort. "You won't. It's scary, I know, but it gets easier to live with. I mean look at Garth."

Hayden chuckled, sniffling and rubbing at her nose. "You've been a werewolf longer than he has."

"Yeah, but he has Bess and Gertie. They're purebloods and they live alright. And you have somewhere and someone to come to when things get rough."

Hayden smiled, reaching over, laying her hand over Kate's, returning the affection they both knew they needed. "So do you."

"Yeah… guess some people aren't half so bad, huh?"

She smiled again, tightening her hold.

"Hey girls!"

They turned around as Garth walked out of the house with another bag in hand.

 "You ready?"

Bess walked out the door of the house, Gertie's hand in hers as they walked next to Garth, the same warm smile on all their faces.

Hayden looked towards Kate, waiting for that single nod before she turned back to the family.

"Yeah, we are."

[dreamerwriternstargazer]

Adding onto this, something I just realised regarding Bill and Ruby’s mothers respectively, is the fact that their part in the conflict resolution is also very very reflective of their showrunners’ writing styles. Bill’s mother is ordinary but made extraordinary because of the love and care and devotion Bill has for her, the same feelings Bill holds onto for reality. Ruby’s mother is made extraordinary because of mystery, similar to how Clara was in the impossible girl arc, but her ordinary nature is not itself elevated. Nor does it play a part in defeating the creature, and even her extraordinary nature as a mystery is used to distract and misdirect, and it makes her anticlimactic. Not because she was ordinary but because…. In the end she was never that important.

People say that Moffat uses a bait and switch method too much and it’s not resolved, but I find that remarkably untrue. At least Moffat’s mysteries are resolved and given emotional weight in the end, Moffat may bait and switch us with The Girl Who Waited and The Impossible Girl, but he never belittles the audience for caring in the first place, he affirms actually yes this girl really is the most important person in the universe because she cares ^_^ because she is brilliant, because she is so beautifully human. Amy and Clara are elevated through the power of their love for stories and memories, they are made mythical and ordinary all at once and so so so important.

RTD did a bait and switch here… and basically went, Ruby is ordinary and so is her mum and it was only because we built it up in our head that it became important. Now let’s defeat death by tying him to the TARDIS and dragging him through time and space

This is honestly one of RTD’s better endings, far better than space!Jesus or towing the earth back him but I would have liked the theme of importance of the ordinary (something RTD is said to do well??) to tie into the external conflict better. What does it say about Death for it to be defeated by the mayflies? In the end he wasn’t, he was defeated by the embodiment of life and hope… but that feels incohesive with the theme of memories.

And it’s not like Moffat exclusively wrote one particular theme and focused on that for a season, no, the big theme was always intertwined with others such as love and marriage and grief and family. Memories and stories, stories and memories. I think if we were to go off of what Moffat has done, the closest comparison we could make is Big Bang 2 and how the universe is rebooted with a prison of life created out of a little girl’s bedtime stories. Life is memories and stories, and they threw a box of life (Pandora’s box, the only thing left in it was hope) into the heart of a dying TARDIS and reversed it all. Furthermore, there’s a character conflict as well, the risk of the Doctor being lost, so that same idea of life being rebooted through a piece of the old universe is embodied in Amy who holds onto him in memory. If she can remember, he’ll come back. She’s Pandora’s box too. So I feel like though you have this over the top, grand disaster it’s grounded in a loss and grief that’s smaller and something more emotionally comprehensive… what if you lost your best friend? Your imaginary friend (as he is to us all) the Doctor… what if he was gone? And the finale actually forces us to fear that in several different ways

The themes are not so tightly woven in s15, nor does the emotional resolution of the Doctor defeating death feel… like it’s given enough time throughout the episode, or even in the season. I think it would be different if they had given 15 a better emotional presence in the episodes leading up to Death’s return, the way grief and fear of loss haunts 12 all the way up until Heaven Sent. I think if we had gotten more quiet, vulnerable moments of 15 grappling with the worry of losing Ruby and his culpability in bringing death to his companions, despite getting space therapy, then it would have felt more triumphant for him to defeat Sutekh in the end. Moreover, what was with his grief over killing Sutekh?? He’s killing a concept, a beast, something more likely to have manifested from his psyche than an actual being… again RTD wants to have this big moral conflict at the end the way Moffat stories do and he is capable of it on some level (Simm!Master and 10 are a fairly good example of this, kill your friend to save eternity, not too shabby) but it falls flat when… the Doctor has no real connection to Sutekh, nor is Sutekh humanised or presented in a sympathetic manner. He’s literally just this big beast made up of grief, and it makes no sense for 15 to care about killing him.

TL;DR RTD is getting there, the outlines of good ideas are there and I think we’re going to see the writing improve in leaps and bounds the way Chibnall did (because whether you liked it or not I do think we can say there’s the biggest growth in terms of writing quality) but it still lacks the sincerity and thought that Moffat’s stories often had on every level.

this feels like a very uncharitable assumption to make but that felt veryyy "rtd tries to do moffat but badly". like the emphasis on the power of memory (a pet favourite moffat theme), the whimsical/poetic dialogue with "there will be birds" (this dialogue style being moffat's MO), the collapse of the universe down to a small point (happens in multiple moffat series finales) and the bait and switch of setting ruby up to be a mystery only for her to be perfectly ordinary (an echo of the 7b impossible girl plot). only he did it all worse? he didn't really have as much to say about memory/the story wasn't very cohesive with this theme, the birds line felt kind of awkward, out of place and ooc for kate as a character, and the ruby mystery arc lacked bite bc it didn't have the conflict of the impossible girl arc. idk man it was undercooked i did not like it very much

[spnshameblog]

Honestly, it pisses me off that they didnt let cas grieve Jack properly. Yeah the finale of s14 and the start of s15 were very busy and we see him be real sad and shaken on occasion (esp interacting with belphegor), but imho the show AND fanworks following 15x03 kind of forget that he watched his kid die just days ago and then had to burn a demon out of his corpse shortly after that. And as heartwrenching as the breakup at the end of the ep is, i dont think it makes sense to focus on that as the only source of cas' pain. I cant even imagine what headspace cas is in at the end of 15x03. He still feels guilty about Marys death, hes fucked up over Jack dying, hes probably still upset that dean locked him in a Box, he feels even more guilt over rowenas death and sams pain and i think burning his childs possessed body probably added a unique flavor of trauma to it all. Oh and his powers are failing for some reason and the man he loves wont listen to him just told him hes dead to him (cas probably knows dean well enough to know that deep down he doesnt mean it, but that would still hurt). This might be my cas-bias, but im simply incapable of criticising anything he does in that time period lol.

This is probably why im a bit more harsh on dean during the first half of s15. Cas had to basically watch his child burn twice in a couple of days, you really want to be mad at him rn??? Youre really gonna be pettily cruel NOW? And i get that dean is probably still mad at Jack bc of mary and its a kneejerk reaction and you can SEE him regret his words immediately, but jesus christ. Youre not gonna mourn him at all? I hate a lot of the dean and Jack storyline in the last seasons bc its just so ooc to me and makes me so incredibly mad. Dean should have talked it out with Jack, they could have both apologised, hug it out, but instead we got whatever the fuck 15x17 was. It makes no sense to me why they had dean treat Jack like that, so i just ignore it lmao.

Yeah but back to my original point. Its bad writing on the shows part and also some writers just blatantly dont like cas and Jack so theres that, but i havent seen a lot of fanworks dealing with it either.

In the supernatural that lives in my head cas went straight to jody after 15x03 bc she knows what its like to loose a child and she lets him stay for a few days. The thought of cas being completely alone after all that is too painful for me, sorry.