#his build is like. not super optimized probably but I think is very fun in terms of flavour

[melliejellybellybean]

A Match Made in a Classroom

Hunter/Fem!Reader

Word Count: 4.3k, whoops...

Warnings: none

It's parent teacher conference night for Omega!

Hunter hates it. While he usually dodges the responsibility, letting one of his brothers take his place, there is no one to save him this time.

You love parent teacher conferences. You love getting to meet the families who influence the children you spend your days with, and this time you just might meet someone special.

Omega has a plan. Her, her siblings, and Cid have devised a foolproof mission that she cannot wait to set in motion.

Hunter could endure all sorts of tortures. He had to, as a soldier, and with his heightened senses, a lot of mundane things could be considered torture. Yet, here he was, facing what was likely to be the death of him. There was no rescue waiting for him, no escape from the pain he’d experience in just a few short minutes. As he was led into the bleak building, he glanced at the sun for what would probably be the last time.

“Hunter, you have to stop being so dramatic.” Omega glared after Hunter sighed for the seventh time in the past two minutes. “My teacher is very nice. You’re not going to die in there.”

“Why couldn’t Tech do this?” Hunter grumbled, “Tech always comes to these things.”

“You already know the answer to that.” Omega reminded him.

He grimaced as he remembered Tech’s adamant claims that he could not separate from the Marauder for as much as two minutes for risk of “the ship exploding, leaving us stranded with no means of making an income, Hunter. With no income, we would have no way of replenishing our food supply or other needs. Is that what you want? Do you want to starve?”

Hunter had wanted to share a few choice words with Tech then, and even more now, but he settled for grumbling once more. “Stupid explosive power couplings.”

“It’ll be fun!” Omega tried for optimism, “You can finally see the super secret project I’ve been working on for the past two weeks!”

Hunter let up on his sulking a bit when he saw her bright smile. Ever since taking on Omega, he had felt wildly out of his depth. Good soldiers did not equate to good fathers, or father figures in his case. Even after a couple of years, Hunter continued to bumble through new situations and problems, making countless mistakes along the way. He had just started to feel like he had some sort of handle on raising her when Cid started this long chain of events that would lead to his current suffering.

…

“You’ve gotta enroll that kid in a school.” She shrugged one afternoon as she passed by Hunter.

“What?” Hunter suddenly twisted on the stool he’d been sitting on, nearly falling off.

Cid didn’t stop walking. “She’s gonna need to do basic math or something soon. The longer you wait, the more suspicious it gets.”

At the time, Hunter had shrugged it off. Cid was just being Cid: sticking her nose in places where it didn’t belong. However, it seemed she shared her unwanted opinion with more people than he had thought. A few days later, Echo casually slid into the seat across from Hunter in the booth where he’d been sitting.

“You know, I’ve been thinking and asking around. Apparently, there’s a pretty good school not too far from here. Walking distance.” Hunter raised one eyebrow, but Echo continued before he could interrupt. “Think about it. Every other kid Omega’s age is going to school right now. I don’t think it’s ‘low-profile’ for a kid to hang out in Cid’s parlor with a bunch of suspicious-looking men everyday. Not to mention, she’ll learn a lot.”

“She’s already learning a lot.” Hunter argued, “We’re teaching her. Some kids are homeschooled, that’s not completely rare.”

Echo wrinkled his nose, “I don’t think ship classes and modifications are standard curriculum.”

“Well, you can argue with Tech about that.” Hunter smirked, “Good luck getting him to admit that.”

“I actually agree with Echo.” Tech voice sounded from above. Hunter looked up to see his goggled brother peering over the side of the booth where he had evidently been eavesdropping. “Sending Omega to a primary school could be beneficial for both her and us.”

Tech took the stunned silence of his brothers as a chance to scramble out of his booth and shove himself next to Hunter. “Not only could a proper education lead to better opportunities for Omega in her future, but she could also gain social awareness from exposure to other adolescents.”

“Wish you’d gotten more of that.” Hunter muttered.

Tech adjusted his goggles, “The Kaminoans kept all of us separate from the regs in our early stages. It is hardly my fault my exceptional mind progressed at a rate faster than yours. I may have skipped past some social development, but we can all agree I’m better off for it.”

“Our point is,” Echo spoke up, “it could be better for Omega to be around other kids her age and learn from someone who is actually qualified to teach. We’re soldiers. We don’t know the first thing about teaching anything other than military strategy and maybe some basic math.”

Hunter sighed, “I get that, I do, but we can’t protect her there. What if she gets into some kind of trouble and we’re not there to help her?”

“What kind of trouble will she get into at school?” Echo argued, “Those kids are supervised, school isn’t a dangerous place.”

“Actually, there are significant statistics that indicate that violence in schools is more common than we would all like to think. It’s more likely to occur in larger cities on more populated planets, but Ord Mantell does not have a reputation as the safest location. In fact, a large movement has started in Coruscant protesting the lack of restrictions on–” Tech grunted when Echo kicked him under the table.

“Look,” Hunter relented, “I would love for Omega to have more friends her age, but it’s just not possible.”

“That’s not fair!” Wrecker’s booming voice made everyone jump. Somehow, the mountain of a man had snuck up on the group. “Omega deserves to have more friends. And she’s super smart! She’d love school! Aren’t we supposed to be giving her a normal life? You’re raising her like a Kaminoan!”

…

Somehow, Wrecker knew just what to say to make Hunter hurt. As much as he wanted to unkindly tell their brothers where they could stick their advice on his parenting style, his self-doubt combined with his resentment towards his own unfair upbringing caused his stubborn nature to crumble. Now, he stood next to Omega at her parent-teacher conference, trying to combat her contagious smile.

“Alright,” Hunter looked away to hide the grin that wanted to break on his face, “which one’s your classroom?”

Omega knew she had won. She grabbed her brother’s hand and all but ran to a classroom all the way at the end of the hall. The bulletin board outside the door was decorated to look like the inside of a generic classroom. A cartoonish cookie stood by the chalkboard and more, smaller cookies that had clearly been made by the students were scattered in the center. The top of the board read, “Come see how smart your cookies are!” Hunter smiled as he saw the googly-eyed cookie that had Omega’s name on it. It was a bit messy, but he thought it was the most perfect looking cookie in the galaxy.

Before Omega could knock on the door, it opened and a little Zabrak boy came out followed by his parents. “Alright Mr. and Mrs. Vint, thank you so much for coming. Your son has been such a pleasure to have in class. I’ll see you on Monday, Pev, have a nice weekend!”

Whatever response the family had, Hunter didn’t hear it. He was busy looking at what must’ve been the most beautiful creature he had ever seen. Omega’s teacher stood in perfect poise, a small, patient smile on her lips. Her eyes were bright and full of energy and kindness. Hunter swore that the longer he looked into them he had more and more hope for the galaxy. Maybe if eyes that looked like that existed, there was good after all.

“Mr. Fett?” A voice broke Hunter’s trance. Blinking, he noticed that the smile on her face had slipped slightly in concern. How long had she been talking?

“I’m so sorry,” Hunter stammered, “what were you saying?”

Omega snorted, but her teacher just giggled. It was adorable, and it took all of Hunter’s discipline to pay attention to the words that came out of her gorgeous mouth, “I said it’s nice to finally meet you. Omega talks about her brothers all the time, but I think I hear of you most often.”

Slightly touched, Hunter glanced down at Omega. She met his soft gaze with a shrug and a weirdly mischievous grin. She was up to something. Immediately, the soft fuzzy feeling was replaced by suspicion, but before he could do more than narrow his eyes at his sister, the goddess of a woman spoke up again.

“Should we go in? I’m sure you’d love to see Omega’s progress.”

…

In your, admittedly not very long, teaching career, you have never experienced a parent-teacher conference quite like the first one that you had with Mr. Fett and Omega. He paid an almost scary amount of attention to every word you spoke and every move you made while Omega bounced her gaze between the two of you like she was watching a very intense dejarik match. However, you were a professional, so you took it in stride. Omega was an amazing student, always respectful and responsible so you didn’t have to worry about having any awkward conversations with parents who were convinced their “perfect angel” couldn’t possibly have hit that little girl with a textbook. He did, by the way, not that they believed you.

The only time you were able to break the weird tension away from whatever was going on with the Fett family was when you brought up Omega’s project. She had been practically vibrating in her chair as you started talking about it, and when you asked her to grab it from her desk, she shot out of her seat like a blaster charge. Before you or Mr. Fett could caution her from literally sprinting in the classroom, she tripped over the leg of a chair, falling hard to the ground.

“Omega!” Mr. Fett was out of his chair just as fast as her. You rushed just behind him, kneeling by Omega who was clutching at her knee.

“I’m sorry!” Omega sniffled, tears in her eyes, “I shouldn’t have run.”

Mr. Fett blinked, slightly shocked, but you cut in before he could say anything.

“It’s not your fault, Omega.” You soothed the girl, “It’s Mr. Chair’s fault. Between you and me, Mr. Chair is a bitter old man, he trips me almost once a week!”

Omega giggled through the tears that built in her eyes, “Really?”

“Really.” You nodded sagely before fixing your attention to her knee, “Let’s take a look at that.”

You coaxed her into showing you her badly scraped and bleeding knee. “Stars, Mr. Chair, look what you did to Omega!” You glared at the chair, then gasped dramatically, “How dare you say that! Apologize right now!” Smiling sheepishly at Omega, as if you were embarrassed for the chair, you whispered, “He said sorry.”

“That’s okay, Mr. Chair, I’m sure it was an accident.” Omega was a smart kid, so it meant the world to you that she played along with your ridiculous fantasy.

Mr. Fett finally spoke up, “That looks pretty nasty, kid, maybe we should go get it checked out.” When his eyes moved from Omega to you, your mouth suddenly went dry and your brain decided to cease functioning. His eyes were full of intense passion and care, for Omega you assumed, and despite his hard demeanor, you could see his gaze soften. It took an embarrassing amount of time to realize he was hinting at their departure from the conference, and by extension, you.

“Oh, right.” You stammered, trying desperately to regain your professionalism after ogling at Omega’s brother, “I think the nurse has left by now, but maybe I could call her and see if she’s not too far? Wait no, that’s not fair for her, I could probably track down a janitor to open the office. I think Ward is still here, he owes me a favor. If not, I’m pretty handy with a hairpin, the lock can’t be that hard to pick, right? I should not have said that!”

Mr. Fett chuckled and even more of your brain activity packed up its bags to leave the scene. “That’s alright, you couldn’t possibly be the worst influence on her life.”

You laughed. Way too loud. “I need to keep bandages in here.” You blurted again, unable to stop this trainwreck of an interaction.

“For when Mr. Chair is mean again.” He joked. The weird tension was back. Mr. Fett kept your gaze under lock and key and Omega, while still clearly in pain, looked like a kid on Life Day.

This time, he broke it, glancing down at Omega awkwardly. “We should probably get you to Tech so he can bandage that.”

“Yes!” You rushed to the door, opening it for them. “Not that I want you to leave, but that’s probably for the best. Because of Omega’s knee, not because I don’t like you or anything. Not that I don’t like you! Omega’s great and I’m sure you are too–”

“We understand.” Mr. Fett saved you from yourself with a smirk, before leaving out the door. Omega sent you one last big grin as she passed you.

You sighed against the doorway, watching the two figures walk down the hallway until they turned the corner and left your field of vision. Breaking out of your trance, you noticed Mrs. Tenfrir raising a judging eyebrow at you. Your face burned as you quickly retreated into the safety of your classroom. The whole PTA was going to hear about this now.

Three weeks after the eventful parent-teacher conference night, you stood at the school gates greeting the children coming to school for the day. Frowning, you looked at your watch. It’s not like Omega to be late. Everyday, or at least everyday for the past three weeks, Omega arrives at school exactly 15 minutes before the day starts. Everyday, or at least everyday for the past three weeks, she gives you a slightly mischievous smile as she runs past you into the building. Everyday, or at least everyday for the past three weeks, you look up to see the oldest Mr. Fett already staring at you before catching himself and walking back in the direction he came from. He thought he hid his blush, but you could always see it. It was a surprise, but not an unwelcome one, to see that Omega’s oldest brother had started bringing her to school. In the past, it had always been either Tech or Echo, both of which would always greet you warmly. However, their brother seemed to be content to admire you from a distance.

You weren’t stupid. As a younger teacher, there were plenty of single parents who flirted with you or, on some occasions, even boldly asked you out, but you always maintained a professional relationship with them. Yet, something was different about Mr. Fett. Maybe it was his dark and broody persona or the softness that he tried and failed to keep from showing through said persona, but you felt yourself looking forward to catching a glimpse of him every morning, exactly 15 minutes before the day started.

…

“Omega, we need to get going, you’re going to be late.” Hunter reminded his younger sister for the fifth time this morning.

Omega didn’t even pull her head out of the bush she was buried in, “I know, but I promise, this is the last one. Aha!”

Triumphantly, she held up a flower she had just wrestled from the ground, adding it to the growing bouquet in her other hand. Although it significantly slowed them down, Hunter found her determination to choose only “the most perfectly perfect-looking flowers for this mission” endearing.

“The only mission you should be focusing on is getting to school on time.” Hunter scolded, “If you’re late, you’re explaining yourself to your teacher.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to explain to her?” Omega teased, “Instead of just staring at her like normal?”

Hunter almost tripped over a rock. “I do not stare.”

“Do too.” Omega chided.

“Do not.”

“Do too.”

“I’m watching to make sure you get in alright.” Hunter tried to maintain his dignity, but it was hard when he was arguing with a 13-year-old. Looking ahead, he was relieved to see that they were approaching the school gates.

Omega looked like she was going to continue arguing, but she cut herself off when she noticed you standing at the gates looking almost worried. Omega ran off, and upon seeing her, you smiled wide and called out. You were really pretty when you smiled. You were always pretty, in Hunter’s opinion, but whenever you smiled or laughed or joked with Omega, Hunter felt his heart skip several beats. He watched as Omega held out the flowers to you, presenting them in such a grand way, but then she whispered something in your ear and your eyebrows shot up. You looked at Hunter, a small blush spreading across your face as you took them, and Hunter felt his stomach drop. Sending Omega one last smile, you ushered her inside before approaching Hunter.

“Good morning, Mr. Fett,” you greeted him politely, “Thank you for the flowers.”

Hunter opened his eloquent mouth, “What?”

You giggled, raising an eyebrow, “Omega tells me that you picked these flowers for me?”

“Um, yes,” Hunter stammered, Omega’s antics finally making sense, “They just looked so beautiful, and so do you today, I mean, you look good most days–all days! You look nice all days, but today I just happened to be walking past all these flowers and I decided to get them… for you?”

“Well, thank you, again.” You started to turn away.

Don’t let her go! Hunter’s mind screamed at him. A voice blurted, “Would you want to get dinner sometime?” It took Hunter a second to realize that the voice was his own.

You froze, “Dinner?”

Hunter’s heart was pounding, “Yes.”

“With you?”

“Yes.”

“And no one else?”

“Yes.”

“Like a date?”

Hunter paused. He was too far deep now. If you hated him after this, he could always let his brothers handle all of Omega’s school events again. They’d probably be better at it anyways. “Yes?”

Silence fell between you both. Hunter’s eyes never left yours, but yours shifted around. He watched you ponder every angle of the decision you were about to make and, what felt like an eternity later, you locked your eyes back on his. “Yes.”

Hunter was sure he was dreaming. “Yes?”

“Yes.” You nodded, completely certain in your choice, “Does tomorrow night work? You could pick me up here around 6?”

“Yes.”

“Can you say anything other than ‘yes’?”

“Yes.” Hunter answered before he could think about it.

You laughed, “Well, I’ll see you then, Mr. Fett.”

“Please, call me Hunter.” He had meant to make it sound like a request, but it came out in a desperate beg.

“I have to go do my job, Hunter.” You teasingly chided and began to back away again, maintaining eye contact as long as you could. His name rolled off of your tongue like it was always meant to. Hunter never saw any particular beauty in his name, but the way it sounded coming from you made it seem like the most poetic word to be created.

For the next day and a half, Hunter was a mess. He tripped and fell down the ramp of the Marauder, he accidentally put salt in his coffee instead of sugar, he even mistook Gonky for a trash bin at some point. However, he wasn’t the only one acting odd. He caught Echo smirking to himself on more than one occasion. Tech kept bouncing between whispering to Omega and whispering to Cid, and Wrecker was being entirely too quiet.But none of that was on Hunter’s mind when he found himself sitting across from you at a restaurant. It was smaller, nice and quiet. He had heard Cid talking to AZI about it the other night, and it just turned out to be the perfect setting for this date.

“You clean up very nicely.” You broke the semi-awkward silence that had fallen since the two of you had been seated.

Hunter thought about how he had spent the better half of the day in the refresher preparing himself mentally and physically to meet you. He decided not to mention that. “You do too. I didn’t think you could have looked even more stunning, but I was wrong.” He practiced that line for almost 15 minutes.

You looked down at the table to hide your blush. Hunter could still see it, but he thought the gesture was cute. “Oh!” You snapped your head, eyes bright, “I almost forgot. I brought Omega’s project.”

“The one from the conference?” Hunter watched you root around in your bag until you pulled out a rolled up sheet of flimsy that looked like multiple smaller sheets hastily glued together.

“Yeah,” You started to unroll it, “The assignment was to make a family tree. Most kids just put mom, dad, brother, sister, maybe a tooka if they had one, but Omega was very determined to put every single one of her brothers.”

The paper was a mess. The family tree was less tree than it was a very, very long line, but it was filled, in Omega’s messy handwriting, of clone names. He saw Rex, Gregor, Cut and his family, and even some clones that she had only ever heard of like Fives, Wolffe, Waxer and Boil. There were even clones that Hunter had never met. And right in the middle, written the biggest, were five names: Hunter, Wrecker, Tech, Echo, and Crosshair. Hunter felt a lump begin to form in his throat. Omega had never known the Crosshair that the rest of them did. She only ever knew the man who ruthlessly chased them across the galaxy, trying to kill them, but she still thought of him as a brother. Enough to write his name on a family tree for a school assignment that would one day get lost, thrown away, or left behind. It was something so simple and insignificant, and it was going to make Hunter cry.

“She gave up her recess for three days straight to finish this project.” You spoke barely louder than a whisper. “I wanted to make sure you saw it since you couldn’t at the conference.”

Memories of the conference flooded Hunter’s mind. Admittedly, he hadn’t listened to what you were saying all that much, having been too focused on making sure he wasn’t actively drooling over you, but he recalled the way you soothed Omega.

“You’re really good with her.” Hunter cleared his throat to himself, “Sometimes I feel so out of my depth. Like I’m making a million and one mistakes and I can’t stop myself, but you do everything right with her.”

You blushed, just now realizing how closely he had actually watched you interact with his sister. “She’s an amazing kid, kind and selfless. I don’t think you realize how good of a job you’re actually doing with her. She couldn’t have a better brother.”

“Don’t let my other brothers hear that.” Hunter joked, trying to deflect the praise, “I would never have been able to calm her down like you did at the conference.”

“My mom used to do that.” You looked down at your lap, “Like Omega, I tended to think that I was responsible for things that were out of my control, and that’s how she helped me get past that. I always thought it was the funniest thing ever. Sometimes, I would purposefully hurt myself on things just to hear her scold them. She definitely knew when I did it on purpose, but I think it makes it all the more special that she would indulge me.”

You were pulled out of your memories by the sensation of something brushing your hand. Looking up, you saw that his hand had traveled across the table, his pinky brushing yours silently asking for permission. You turned your hand up, interlocking his fingers with yours.

Hunter opened his mouth, almost having to force the words out, “Can I kiss you?”

Your throat closed up, so all you could do was give a shy nod. The Kaminoans used to say that it took a team to raise an army. Hunter always felt that saying was a load of bantha droppings. What did they know about raising people with real thoughts and feelings? Now he realized they were sort of right. It took a team to raise a person, but most importantly, it took the right team. Not a team of the smartest doctors, most celebrated engineers, and ruthless bounty hunters, but a team of people who truly loved each other and worked together for each other’s benefit. As he started to lean into you and you to him, Hunter realized that maybe he wasn’t the wrong person to be raising Omega. Maybe he just wasn’t the only right person. Maybe he needed his brothers, and just maybe, he needed you. Hunter’s lips met yours and nothing had ever felt more right for him. And nothing would ever feel right again without you by his side. …

Omega came sprinting into Cid’s parlor. It was late, the only occupants of the room being Cid, her brothers, and AZI. They all looked at her in anticipation, waiting for her to relay information gathered from her stealth operation.

Beaming, she revealed the Mantell Mix she had been hiding behind her back. “Mission accomplished.”

A stunned silence fell for a beat, everyone processing that their work had paid off. Then the room erupted into cheers.

This fic is a gift for @miseries-mistress as a part of @cloneficgiftexchange‘s... clone fic gift exchange... (that sentence went a lot better in my head). Your dialogue prompt just screamed Hunter to me. I headcanon that he'd fall in love with someone after seeing them interact with Omega or Omega would love them before he did. I'm super excited to be able to post this for you to read, and I really hope you like it!

It was a lot of fun to participate in this fic exchange and write this. I have been looking for an excuse to start writing for the longest time and this exchange was the perfect opportunity! I am in love with the idea of Omega in a primary or elementary school, I think she'd be the best student to have. I also love the idea of Omega matchmaking all of her brothers. So, with those two ideas in mind, this fic was born! What was meant to be 800 words of Hunter being absolutely smitten with his daughter figure's teacher turned into 4k+ words of character analysis on him and Omega. Whoops. I hope yall enjoyed it!

[mermaidsirennikita]

ARC REVIEW: Under the Mistletoe Collection

4/5. Releeases 11/12/24.

The Vibes:

—Christmas anthology

—Holiday romcom

—Everything from brother's best friend to "dressed like Santa"

Heat Index: 7/10

The Basics:

A set of five romantic Christmas stories!

The Review:

All by My Elf by Olivia Dade is the tale of two coworkers who end up in stuck in a snowed-in traffic situation, in a food truck sort of deal—oh, and she has a massive crush on him and believes he's hooking up with her best friend. Is he? I mean....

I'm 90% sure this "the roads have stopped because snow" deal was in part inspired by the travails of Virginia senator Tim Kaine, and if so, I am SO happy about that. I will tell everyone about how Tim Kaine survived on an orange and optimism in his car anytime. But in this case, it's two people versus one Tim Kaine, and also, the hero has sexy glasses. It's breezy and light and honestly may be my favorite Olivia Dade thing I've read, with a sexy game of "never have I ever" and a hero who made me go "Oh, WOULD". Also, there's a lot of cuddling with "is that....? In his pocket...?" content.

Merry Ever After by Tessa Bailey tells the tale of a thrift store employee/single mom who decides, after farmer rips a pair of jeans because he's Too Big, to make him jeans herself! Also, there is Christmas.

Um... I'm not sure how I feel about this one. It was funny. It was kind of sexy at points. I... wish he hadn't been a farmer. I feel like him ripping his jeans would've been 90% funnier had he been more "angry embarrassed" versus "shy aw shucks" embarrassed. Luke seemed nice, but I wasn't sure about where he was on January 6. I did appreciate him liking her "sturdy hips" though. This just may have "Boy is Too Big"ed too close to the sun for me.

Cruel Winter with You by Ali Hazelwood puts a somewhat depressed doctor at crosshairs with her best friend's brother—who was also her close friend, until.... the Incident. With the power off, the two decide to play Truth or Drink, which brings up some uncomfortable memories (and new confrontations).

This is the strongest of the bunch, and it really got me. Hazelwood manages to inject just the right amount of angst into a short story. It's not over the top, it feels super realistic, and if you're a fan of long-term pining... This is it. I also really loved that this is a best friend's brother story with a twist—not a huge one, but I don't think I've read any other stories with a heroine who's older than the hero. It added to the sweetness of it all.

Merriment and Mayhem by Alexandria Bellefleur focuses on an accident-prone woman who keeps getting the same firefighter at her beck and call whenever she's in trouble. She's not in town forever; he wants to make the most of the time they have. What's a girl to do when she doesn't do hookups?

This was fine; although I really liked The Fiancee Farce, I haven't found anything else by Bellefleur that super works for me. But I get why she works for other people. This is pure sugar. There isn't much conflict, really, aside from "I don't do casual". It's all very straightforward. The sex is hot. I honestly didn't know how Everleigh like... survived, though. So many hijinks!

Only Santas in the Building by Alexis Daria has a comic book illustrator who's, yes, a bit of a shut-in recovering from loss, decide to seize the day at a Santa-themed holiday party by hooking up with the neighbor she's long had a crush on. And yes, they are both dressed like Santa.

So much fun! So hot! So Santa! I love Alexis Daria's voice, and she manages to take a pretty low-stakes story and punch it up with character and heart. And again. It's really hot. I loved the chemistry between our leads here, and you totally felt the vibe that they'd been longing for each other for quite a while. It's to the point, and it did what it needed to do.

The Sex:

Varies! Every story has explicit sex, however. The highest heat story is probably Bailey's Merry Ever After, though Bellefleur's Merriment and Mayhem comes (haha) in second and Only Santas in the Building is quite steamy. But to me, the heat level for each story suited the tone of the story itself, if that makes sense.

While there were standouts and "could've been better"s, this is ultimately a really fun, enjoyable Christmas anthology. And honestly, few things say "Christmas" to me like Christmas anthologies.

Thanks to Amazon Original Stories and NetGalley for providing me with a copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

[realuity]

Hi there! Can I ask how you made your hfr guitar prop? I bought some foam boards to start making my own, but they've been sat around for ages as im not really sure how to start ^^" ur help would be super appreciated :))

hi!! glad to help!! the hfr guitar build was actually pretty simple at its base mechanics - it's a prop walking stick from probably some halloween shop, with a whole bunch of foamboard on it. the only real adhesive i made use of was hot glue - it was weird and stringy, but it sticks really well to foamboard and is incredibly fast 'drying'.

the core of the whole build is.. one really big sheet that i cut into a rough guitar shape, and stuck on the bottom. it helps to have this real simple start - especially with the further simple steps. it helps you to get going!!

the fun part is that - for the first three or so layers of thickness buildup on both sides of the foamboard - you don't really need any specific shapes! just build it up with random cut-out bits. of course, pay ttention to certain details, but you can pick these out from the actual guitar at your discresion. personally, i left out a bunch of the pipes and other specific greebly bits, to make the task easier on myself to work with what i had and minimise the amount of parts liable to fall off or break. here's the reference image i mainly used - with red highlights on bits i focused on. the fun part is that with all the stuff you don't care about, you can kinda just do whatever! the design is intentionally very cluttered - so you can fake a lot of detail by just placing stuff down where it looks good.

my reccomendation (especially for the handle, and pieces that bend) is to get a thinner, flexible foam for details. it helps with distinguishing texture without adding unnessecary bulk, bits that go around stuff, and things that needed finer detail. it doesn't have to be an expensive foam at all! those little craft sheets of foam you can get pretty much in any art/crafts shop are what i used, and they worked great! they play really well with hot glue too.

(this stuff!)

for the pipe details that are there, i kinda gave in and used cheap pipe from hardware shops. i didn't want to find a solution that'd use too much of my material, and it bends pretty much perfectly, so that's what i went for. surprisingly, it took to sealant quite well.

speaking of sealant, painting! to start, i used a whole bunch of plastic and foam primer, but i think a brush-on gesso or a whole shitload of white paint would do the job if you can't access outdoor spaces for spraying. it gets a little hard on the pockets to do that much spraying, but that's the nature of it, i suppose.

after having a nice amount of primer, a spray around the entire thing in a light silver got the basecoat. try to really get it into the inner details and layers visible through the front and back panels, to sell the effect of a solid core of scrap metal.

try to use a few shades of silver to pick out certain parts. and block in color where its needed.

for the outline effect, it's very fucking annoying to do, but i'd say worth it. use whatever black paint you have (i switched between brush, paint pens and markers a lot, could not figure out the optimal way) to carefully fill in the protruding edges of pieces in black, mostly outer ones that are the most notable. here's a really scuffed diagram of what i mean.

it's ballbustingly annoying and will take a lot of time, but the effect's worth it. to avoid getting frustrated and burn out on the project, remember to take breaks! i'm guilty of getting terribly stuck in a build whenever i work, to the point of like, forgetting to eat, so it's important to remember to step away to clear your head. restful artists make intricate work, or whatever other idiom you can come up with.

hope this helps!! prop-building is a tricky hobby, but really fun and rewarding. it's all about sectioning off your work into pieces you need to do. seperate large bits into seperate pieces you work on individually. break it up, get it done.

don't be afraid to use techniques just for fun, too. on the back of the guitar, i painted on a little tango snail gleefuly scooting away from a flaming microsoft logo. i'll have to add a subnautica peeper or something to match with recent news!

[kimium]

I asked @m34gs what she thinks the Twisted Wonderland house warden's favourite video games are. She answered in this ask and prompted me to give my thoughts. So, here I am!

Here are a few ground rules: I'm going to pick games I've personally played or had experience with. Also, if a game is in a series and I think they're very similar, I'm listing them together.

The House Warden's Favourite Video Game

Riddle - Kirby: Nightmare in Dreamland

Wow, I'm really outing myself with how many Kirby games I've played, huh? Well, I'm not sorry. When I was a child I LOVED Kirby: Nightmare in Dreamland. I loved the simple world design, the fun, easy mechanics, and the bright colours/music. It's also a fast game. Even as a child I think I beat it in like six hours. Anyways, I think Riddle would enjoy this game for those reasons. It's something he can lose himself in briefly and have fun. I know there are probably better Kirby games out there and newer ones at that, but the childhood nostalgia wins in the end.

Leona - Tetris

I really love your pick of Mahjong for Leona. Honestly, the desire to just go "yeah, what M34GS said" or pick another tactical game like Chess, Checkers, or even Go. But, I decided Tetris is also a good pick for Leona. As you said, Leona isn't one to care too much about video games, so he isn't going for one with story... like I do. He needs a low risk game with just enough puzzling. So, Tetris. It's fun to arrange things, does require some level of strategy, and is very satisfying when you win. Leona can also put it away at any time, so this means he can nap when he's bored or done.

Azul - Don't Starve Together

While I sort of wanted to pick a murder mystery game with Azul, Don't Starve Together has resource management. Which, I think is right up Azul's alley. Sure, the game has a "survive in the wild" vibe, but Azul is there trying to optimize his strategy, gather everything, and not die. He can also play with Jade and Floyd if he wishes, but there is a high chance those two would sabotage him. Azul will take that risk though, and I think those three would have a lot of fun. It's also a casual game, so he can put it away without worry of story or progress.

Kalim - Harvest Moon (any of them)

I agree that Kalim deserves a relaxing, slow game, without much conflict or objectives in it. While I think a game franchise like Animal Crossing also works, since I've never played an Animal Crossing game myself, I'm picking Harvest Moon. I think Kalim would find it very fun to build his farm, befriend the locals, solve whatever problem is occurring, and marry his favourite NPC. I didn't pick a specific Harvest Moon game simply because I only have experience with two: the original and The Tale of Two Towns (I think... I can't check right now). Besides, Harvest Moon all has the same "flavour" so to speak, so I don't think me specifically stating which game is necessary.

Vil - Super Smash Bros (any of them)

I agree that Vil would love a co-op game that he can play with his close friends. I also agree it has to be easy and with low stakes. Sure, SSBs has "meta units" and an entire competitive video game scene with the game, but I think Vil would play this as a party game. It's casual with everyone just picking their favourite characters and stage. There may be some sabotage (a must) and items on (deadly) but in the end, everyone is just playing to have a good time. Who Vil mains is up to you.

Idia - TWEWY/Neo TWEWY

The urge to pick a mobile game like Genshin Impact or an open world game like BoTW or TotK is high, but I want to avoid gacha games in my list and... I've never played BoTW or TotK. Sorry. So, I picked a personal favourite of mine: The World Ends with You and the sequel. I picked this because I think Idia is the kind of person who gets into the story of a game and enjoy the characters. TWEWY has some amazing characters, great story, amazing music, and of course, the essence of Shibuya packaged into the entire game. I also think Idia would love the game play, enjoying swapping his pins out for better ones, and enjoy the extra challenge modes.

Malleus - Pokemon Yellow/Red/Blue (or Green)

Okay, here is the problem: I think any sort of pet simulator game is great for Malleus, however, I dislike pet simulator games. I'm here for story and lore... which I think is the opposite for Malleus. But here is the thing while Pokemon has a narrative and many components it started off super simple: go around and catch Pokemon and go to the gyms. While newer Pokemon games have introduced so many things like Beauty Contests or an open world design, I think the old games are perfect for Malleus. He'd enjoy creating his team and nicknaming them. I bet he'd be delighted to learn that there are dragon type Pokemon in the world too. Sure, he may struggle with some more "meta" components but at least in the older games we didn't have Mega Evolution or newer Gens and BST to worry about.

There you have it! I hope you like my list! I had fun picking the titles while also trying to keep in line with the characters!

[all-pacas]

I’m intrigued by multiclassing my guys in bg3 but I don’t really know where to start :V how/why did you pick the second classes you did? Do you rec it at 5th, or should I do it now at 4th?

CRACKS KNUCKLES

The short answer: synergy! There are some classes that just go really well together for various reasons. Some classes also have front loaded powers and abilities and not as great high level ones, making it tempting to “double dip.”

Same with levels. Level five is actually a HUGE power spike: it’s when most melee classes get their second attack, and when casters get 3rd level spells (Fireball! Spirit Guardians!). Personally, I never multiclass any melee before level five for that reason. Magic classes are case by case: I’m playing my particular druid as a melee fighter with magic, so I don’t care as much about stronger spells.

As for synergies — each class has a primary stat, right? So for example, let’s take Astarion. He’s gonna want high DEX. He’s a rogue, so his whole thing is hitting very hard in a burst. So, what can compliment that? Gloomstalker Assassin, that’s what!

Rogues don’t get multi attack. What they do instead is hit super hard once. At level 3, Astarion can become an Assassin, which gives him extra initiative and damage to anyone behind him in turn order.

Gloomstalker Ranger, meanwhile, ALSO gives extra initiative, AND a free attack first round of combat. Pair those up, and you get Astarion at level 6 with HUGE damage on the first turn, always acting first, free first round sneak attack and a free first round extra attack. Assassins also have pretty lame high level bonuses. I mean, rogues are always fantastic, but assassins just get free disguise self. Rangers, though, get extra attack at level 5…

So, Astarion as a Ranger 5/Rogue 7 will get two attacks per turn (one sneak attack), cunning action, extra initiative, evasion, uncanny dodge, two free resistances, and on his first turn gets to go first and attack three times. Oh, and he can use ensnaring strike and Hunter’s Mark to be extra rude. Rogues and Rangers both love DEX; it’s pretty easy to bump up his Wis a bit to use ranger spells.

That’s basically multiclassing 101! Find classes that like the same stats (Warlock/Bard), or have overlap (Fighter/Paladin — Fighters don’t use CHA, but Paladins only use it for spells, so you can sacrifice it a bit). Look for fun synergies: 2 levels in Cleric gives you 1 channel divinity, Tempest Cleric gets free “maximize damage on a lightning spell,” Storm Sorcerers Exist…

But it also doesn’t have to be MinMax!! My Druid/Monk probably isn’t optimized, but I just like getting little numbers when I hit: free necrotic damage! Free fire damage from my staff! As long as any two classes share a main or secondary stat, the sky is the limit! Have fun with it!

ETA: Some combos I personally enjoy!

Gloomstalker Assassin for Astarion. LOVE this one. Level 5 Ranger to get two attacks; level 7 rogue because more Sneak Attack is always good, and so is Evasion.

Bardlock! I've done a magic build version, Bard 10/Warlock 2. Warlock 2 is fun because that's the level you get Eldritch Invocations, ie, beef up Eldritch Blast. Since it's a cantrip, it'll keep leveling up on its own. Bards don't have great cantrip damage options, so this allows them to do their thing/concentrate on a buff or debuff while still doing stupid damage. You could go higher on Warlock, but with magic classes after a while you start losing higher level spells, so it's a trade.

Melee Bardlock? I'm going to try this out in my Honor Run. Wyll really wants to be pact of the blade, but it's honestly kind of mediocre. But College of Swords Bard gets some fun buffs to their attacks, and Valor gives Wyll some better armor options. Swords/Valor get multi attack at level 6, and Blade Warlocks get one at 5; I don't think they'll stack, sadly. I'm thinking Warlock 5/Bard 7 will make him a really great debuffer.

Sorc/Cleric: I did this in my last run! Tempest Clerics get heavy armor, which does so much to keep a Sorcerer from being super squishy. And their channel divinity at level 2 means you can, once a short rest, do max damage on a spell. Tempest Clerics get lots of lightning spells and buffs to those spells. I went Sorc 10/Cleric 2, and barely buffed my WIS at all; I wasn't planning on using cleric spells, just that Channel Divinity.

Paladin/Warlock: a classic for a reason! Fun hack: Pact of Blade warlocks can attune to a weapon, meaning they use charisma as their attack stat, meaning you can ignore STR entirely and just make them tanky as hell.

[semi-imaginary-place]

gamplay thoughts from reddit

the optimal classes are 15 wyvern lords and 2 warpers lol. By the point that players have accumulated enough resources to do whatever they wants, most aren't building for "optimal" builds. Its hard to say whether the process of playing 999+ hours changes a person or if it just weeds out the people who care about optimal builds but by that point most of the people I've met care more about interesting builds, and treat each play through as a way to explore another aspect of the game. Anyways all hail mortal savant Marianne, and make Dedue your only magic user.

The thing is with NG+ you can always choose not to buy skill levels. Professor rank and skill levels aren't automatically there at the start of the playthough you have to choose to buy them back with renown. If you don't buy skill levels the units have the same skill levels they always do and will have to level up the same way as a NG playthrough. If you unlocked the saint statues you do get to keep those automatically unlocked in NG+. Besides the real fun with NG+ is doing goofy builds like war monk Sylvain.

If I can run Petra as a warlock on maddening and turn Lysithea into a fortress knight you can run anyone with any stats in any class. Lysithea and Marianne are generally pretty stat foolproof its Ignatz and Lorenz that the rng can do wild things to.

I do like how in this game there often isn't 1 best path for each of the units like for example Ferdinand can be run as either an enemy phase dodge tank with his decent speed, personal ability, avo+, and a healing item, or you can run him as a player phase swiftstrikes user. (or you can do neither or you can take a hit to optimization for more versatility and do something in-between). Or Marianne has best utility as a bishop, best mobility as a holy knight, but I've had her be most offensively useful as a mortal savant/dancer magic swords dodge tank.

Optimization can come in many other forms too like right now I'm playing with the idea of tactical nuke striking the final boss of Verdant Wind with one hit which involves a lot of setup and stacking up every additional point of damage I can get onto Lysithea. Her base atk is like 46 or something and I need to get it to 109 which is very achievable I did the math and the lowest I needed was like 31, but its a lot of very careful arrangement so I might ditch this plan and do the map the conventional way.

I also like filling out skills and trying out all the classes, I think I've played all the classes on Byleth. I think all the classes are fun to play but I also think its fun to choose really bad classes. For Byleth outside of Wyvern Lord, Swordmaster with wo dao+ or thunderbrand is very good, Sniper Byleth is also powerful especially on higher difficulties, Falcon Knight (female only) is fun a little weaker but speedier than Wyvern Lord, War Master or Grappler is good if you go for a fist build, DLC War monk/cleric for some white magic.

I've only done Byleth and lords duo and solo runs but I only play on maddening. Tons of people do solo runs or "solo" because everyone uses different rules you can check out youtube or the forum site to see people talking about them. I also go classic and kill everyone off in ch1. For my rules everyone else must be killed in ch1 or as soon as possible and cannot deal damage ever (unequip and die). No recruits. No adjuncts. No nothing. If maining a normal student Byleth/lord cannot interact with an enemy or have anything equipped (weapon, battalion, ect.), they cannot take any action except to move out of attack range, if they are attacked by an enemy unit divine pulse or reset. Silver Snow is probably the best true solo route with Byleth since there is no other required character in part 2.

Byleth is super strong in part 1 but tends to fall off in part 2, Byleth never becomes bad but by the end they usually aren't one of my best units (they're like #3-5 depending on the playthrough). All the students are padded against bad rng level ups but not so the church units, I've had both Shamir and Manuela give me 0 stat increase levels before. I played my first run of Silver Snow with only church recruits and no Black Eagles students and that was fun.

for byleth classes i play most are wyvern lord, sniper if im feeling lazy. These days I pretty much only play on maddening and sword classes aren't well balanced for maddening. Valkyrie is a poor man's dark knight and lacks the growths and spell usages of warlock and especially bishop.

[crossdressingdeath]

I'll be honest, I don't much like the constant wisdom saves of the Better Dark Urge mod just because that's the sort of thing where it very quickly becomes tedious, especially if you're not playing a wisdom-based class. Making it constitution would just shift the problem to a different stat (sure, default Durge is a sorcerer, but since they're customizable we can't rely on that in terms of balancing this out). Durge should probably be a little more challenging to play outside of combat because of how they work, but forcing the player to constantly make saving throws just to remain in control of their character whenever they do anything feels like fake difficulty. Durge should be more challenging to work with, maybe even a little frustrating at points on the redemption path, but there comes a point where it's just not fun anymore, y'know? And unless the DC is really low it kind of forces the player to either play a class that uses that stat or have a distinctly non-optimal build for their class. For example, my current Durge is a bard. Wisdom is not his strong suit. If he was constantly having to roll wisdom saving throws he'd statistically fail significantly more than say a cleric would, not because of any characterization decision on my part but just because mechanically it's not smart character building for a bard to funnel points into wisdom that could instead go to charisma or dexterity. I really like playing a bard, but constantly having to roll saving throws in a stat that is otherwise useless to my character would significantly lower the enjoyment, since I'd have to either accept that I'd be constantly losing control of him essentially as punishment for not playing a wisdom-based class or change his stats to improve the saving throws with the full knowledge that that would make him less effective in the rest of the game!

Which is the trouble with basing Durge rolls on one stat: either the DC is super low like with the checks to use your illithid powers (which limits the impact) or some classes are going to fail significantly more often than others with no story justification for it just because of how stat allocation works. Adding more checks in dialogue works better just because in dialogue you can load up on bonuses from things like Guidance and Enhance Ability, you can use inspiration, you can save scum until you pass the check if you want to, but random saving throws don't give you those chances. Durge would have to have some pretty huge bonuses to balance out the massive downside of constant saving throws, so it's much easier to not do that. Think of it like how Larian ultimately decided that the tadpole protects Astarion from the effects of running water: having to constantly worry about him getting his feet wet and struggle to get him across rivers and so on was annoying, so even though story-wise it made as much if not more sense for running water to hurt him and it was an interesting plot point they removed that for the sake of making the game more fun. The balance between story and gameplay is vitally important, and Durge's situation makes it really hard to get that balance right. I settled on the idea of a debuff for resisting the Urge that will make you lose control and kill someone if you long rest without clearing it by killing enemies mostly because that way the player does have control of it; as with Gale's arcane hunger it's a real problem that needs to be kept on top of, but it's not one that will be too hard to solve if the player knows what they're doing meaning it shouldn't ever get so frustrating to deal with it stops being fun. I mean hey, worst case scenario you can always kill and revive a party member!

More thoughts on Durge having been created when Bhaal died: did they have the Urge the whole time, or did that only show up when Bhaal was resurrected? Since they don't remember anything we can't say for sure if the Urge was always there or if it showed up fairly recently. I can see it going either way. If the Urge was always there maybe Bhaal stuck some programming in there when he was making Durge to keep them on track while he wasn't there to keep an eye on them directly, or it was something to do with the part of him that was in them being influenced by or drawn to the rest of him; if the Urge only showed up when Bhaal returned, maybe he was worried that his little divine homunculus wouldn't take kindly to being expected to follow his orders after a century of largely being left to act freely—whether or not those fears were justified depends on the Durge, of course—and decided to put a leash on them to make sure they couldn't disobey, or again maybe it was the part of him in them being influenced or called to by the rest of him but that only kicked in once he was actually around.

[the--days]

Subclass Concepts: 4/112

Shade, Warforged Ranger [Swarmkeeper]

The nighttime chorus of insects grows louder as the foliage parts. A suit of black plate mail comes into sudden view as a swarm of fireflies flocks around it, lighting the empty visor of its helmet-- and the dangerous edge on its sword.

Shade is a decommissioned weapon. An undying machine, he's dedicated himself to protecting the short, fleeting lives of mortal creatures in an effort to atone for the lives he once ended. [expanded backstory under the cut]

Background: Hermit

Traits:

I'm in no rush. I've seen decades pass by without much thought, and tend to speak slowly, or pause for a long time while considering my actions.

I will often stop to point out plants or animals I find pretty-- though my notion of beauty doesn't always match up with common definitions.

Bonds: I will stop the villains threatening my forest. While I would rather avoid killing, if their lives must to end so the forest can live-- so be it.

Ideals: Life. While death is inevitable, even a mayfly's life is precious in its time. I will protect that light in the world. Flaws: I struggle to differentiate between different types of life. To me, a humanoid's life is equally as worthy as an ant's. Skill Proficiencies: Medicine, Religion, Animal Handling, Nature, Survival, Perception

Stat Spread (Highest to Lowest): STR, WIS, CON, DEX, INT, CHA

Build Notes: I'd lean completely into being a clanky tank for Shade's build-- the idea of a big loud hulking obvious robot being a Wise Nature Lover is thematically pretty fun IMO. Defence as his fighting style, multiclass into fighter* for heavy armour proficiency and the 'Protection' fighting style (suits his 'protect life' shtick). Heavy armour plus the +1 from defence, +1 from warforged and +2 from a shield would make him a complete AC wall guaranteed to make your DM cuss you out (and then hit you with breath weapons which your horrible DEX could not protect you from).

*You could also multiclass into Oath Of Redemption paladin for a bunch of levels. Same heavy armour and fighting style, but with Extra Pacifism Points; really fun for flavour, but the reliance on CHA for spellcasting would be a huge issue.

Expanded Backstory: Shade was created as a weapon of war, and for the first years of his life he did as he was made to do. Part of a small unit of warforged soldiers, Shade would venture deep behind enemy lines; without the need for sleep, food, or water, his team made the perfect strike force.

Shade and his companions would destroy enemy supply lines, would wipe out stragglers or advance scouts. Ruthless and efficient, the warforged team were widely feared; even their own army was wary of them.

Shade didn't mind his negative reputation, nor the bloody work he was doing. He didn't think about much of anything; in those early days of his existence, he hadn't yet woken to thought and feeling.

Without goals or thoughts of his own, when Shade returned to report on a finished mission, and found his commander's tent- and the entire outpost that had surrounded it- destroyed, he had no idea what to do next. So he did nothing; only stood- and eventually sat- motionless, waiting for his next orders.

Decades passed, and then centuries. A forest grew up around Shade. He waited. Slowly, awareness grew in his mind. He began to think, and feel, and the waiting became a conscious choice.

He had no other goals in mind but to watch the seasons change, and came to love the forest; he watched litters of fox kits born, and watched those kits grow up, and have litters of their own, and die of old age. He watched trees sprout and grow and fall and rot, and learned to value life; undying, and already generations old, it all seemed fleeting to him, and the hours-long lifespan of a mayfly seemed not much shorter than the handful of years a stag got. Rather than making their lives seem trivial, it all seemed valuable and beautiful to him, no matter how small.

A dim guilt began to haunt him; though death, he knew, was the inevitable end for every creature, the unnecessary and untimely deaths he had caused started to bother him. When [campaign appropriate villain] came to threaten his forest, Shade- for the first time in decades- rose to fight, and defend the place he loved.

The insects who had begun to nest in his body came with him; together, they made a powerful fighting force, and Shade was able to chase off his enemies for a time. He was outnumbered, though, and the victory was narrow-- he would need allies if he wanted to protect his forest properly.

So he set out into the wider world, bringing a small piece of his forest with him in the form of his Swarm. He hopes to find a more permanent way to stop those threatening his forest and- in the back of his mind- harbours thoughts of doing some greater good, and atoning for the violence of his past.

Progress:

1/7 Ranger Subclasses

4/112 Total Subclasses

4/40 Races

[image from Heroforge]

[patt-writes-stuff]

Beach Days with The Genshin Characters!

Wc: 1.7k+

Type: Headcanons

CW: umm nothing except mentions of alcohol and maybe people being creeps? (None of the chars or you tho it’s very brief)

A/N: HI IM BACK FROM THE DEAD! These were supposed to be a lot shorter but I got too excited. If you by any chance wanna see some for your fav character lmk! I know it says request are closed in my bio but since it’s just hcs it’s a lot less (and I really enjoyed writing these so ajdhdhdk)

🔥Diluc:

This man cannot swim. Tell me otherwise, I dare you.

Kaeya tried to jokingly push him off a lil diving cliff area when they were kids.

He almost drowned. Kaeya was in a lot of trouble.

So, good luck getting this man to actually get in the water. The most he’ll do is sit on the shore where it’s very shallow.

He usually prefers to just stay under an umbrella on the sand and keep an eye on you.

Calls you every two hours in advance and helps you reapply sunscreen.

He’s very pale so I feel like he burns pretty easily, meaning he needs to reapply super frequently otherwise he will become a tomato. He brings like three bottles of the good shit. Tch, rich boy.

If you ask him to build a sandcastle, he will pretend to be annoyed but do it anyways. Ends up finding it kind of enjoyable.

He has the maids prepare a nice picnic basket for the two of you!! It’s got all your favorite foods plus grape juice cuz y’know.

If any creepy peeps approach you, don’t worry. He brought his vision and his claymore.

Of course, he won’t have to resort to such violent lengths. Everyone in Mondstadt knows who Diluc is and they probably know you’re his s/o, so they’re usually smart enough to mind their own business.

If they don’t, don’t worry. Diluc’s glare is more than enough to scare them away.

All in all I definitely recommend a beach day with him! I’ll give it a solid 8/10 (-2 for not wearing floaties and getting in the water with you or letting you teach him how to swim.

🖌Albedo:

You guys definitely 100% take Klee out with you on a beach day.

You guys bring snacks, beach toys like buckets and shovels for optimal sandcastle building, a picnic blanket, etc.

Jean definitely packs a lot more stuff for you guys to take with you than you actually need.

It’s only cuz she’s worried for Klee and is nervous about not being able to go with you guys though! It’s very sweet really.

Klee tries to bomb the fish and cause havoc at the beach 😭

I think Albedo is a good swimmer and gets in with you and Klee so that he can help her (which is very cute omfg)

He’s set total workaholic, as we know, so it took a lot of convincing to get him to put down his experiments and accompany you to the beach (however, he’s particularly weak to yours and klee’s puppy dog eyes so he caved eventually)

Though, looking at you and Klee happily building sandcastles and decorating them with pretty seashells of all shapes and colors, he can’t really find it in himself to complain.

He, of course, takes this opportunity to take out his sketchbook and draw the waves, seagulls, you… Of course he won’t let you see the sketch book no sir. He’s a bit embarrassed to be honest, but an artist such as himself recognizes beauty when he sees it so he simply had to draw you. (God I love him so much)

If a creepy person approaches you,- well don’t worry. The sight of a small arsonist child blowing up fish is enough to scare them away 🥰

At the end of the day, all three of you are all ticketed out. Albedo has to carry Klee back to Mondstadt because the poor baby fell asleep the moment you started drying her hair with the beach towel. You’re, of course, carrying back Dodoco and your bags. (You also manage to sneak a peak at Albedo’s sketchbook and find some very pretty drawings of you and Klee with your sandcastle)

At the end of the day, you guys tuck Klee in and read her a bedtime story (she woke up and insisted). Afterwards Albedo takes you back home and thanks you for coming with you and Klee (which you ofc say wasn’t a problem because how could you not???)

All in all? I’ll give it a solid 10/10. You’ve got tasty food, fun times, your boyfriend and his cute kid adoptive sister (yes I am very biased idc)

🦋Xiao:

I think it would take a lot of convincing to get Xiao to go out on a beach date with you.

He’ll probably see it as a distraction getting in the way of his slaying of monsters and demons.

However, he also worships the grounds you walk on (hehe, simp XD), so I don’t think it’ll take that much convincing on your part (especially because it’s is self appointed duty to keep you safe so if you insist on going with or without him, he supposes he’ll have to go)

Is definitely a bit tense at first. He doesn’t know how to let loose and chill so while you’re sun tanning on a beach chair he’s like 🧍‍♂️ahdgshjsjd

Eventually calms down a bit though! You get him to relax and eat some almond tofu you brought along with you. It definitely gets him to perk up.

I don’t think he would mind getting into the water but I do think he’d rather walk along the shore and collect pretty seashells and sea glass.

He later gives the ones he deems pretties to you (he hands them over to you with a blush on his face and pretends it’s not a big deal and he definitely gets all pouty and grouchy when you coo at how adorable he is)

As for creeps, Xiao is both intimidating and well known in Liyue. No one is brave enough (or, let’s be honest, dumb enough) to approach you with any bad intentions.

Sure, Xiao has sworn never to harm a human/citizen of Liyue but that doesn’t mean he can’t scare the absolute shit out of them.

I think Xiao would definitely enjoy a beach day 🥺🥺. He’d find it very relaxing to go out with you and just hear the sound of waves and feel the sand under his feet.

He’d definitely hint at wanting to do it again later. Of course, he won’t tell you. No, that’s a foolish mortal activity and he has much better things to do.

Wait no, don't turn around, yes he will go with you next month.

All in all, I give Xiao a 9/10. It’s a very relaxing day (which he deserves 😤). And you get to see a whole new side of him.

💎Ningguang:

OK SO ORIGINALLY I WASN'T GONNA WRITE ONE FOR HER (at least not in this post) BUT THEN I THOUGHT OF LADY NINGGUANG TAKING YOU TO A WHOLE ASS PRIVATE BEACH

She knows you don’t care about how exclusive the beach you go to is (in fact, the fact that you don’t care about where you are or what you do is one of the things that make her fall more and more madly in love with you) but you deserve the best so she’s gonna go all out.

She’s a busy lady so days like this where the two of you get to go somewhere and be together are few and far between.

She knows it’s hard to be in a relationship with someone who is busy 24/7, so she appreciates how you remain by her side despite all hardships. (Y’all are a whole ass power couple istg)

The two of you spend your day relaxing. Sun bathing, drinking piña coladas, maybe taking a dip in the ocean. It’s all very pleasant!

Ningguang doesn’t quite feel like the type of person who would sit in the sand and make sandcastle, however you’re more than welcome to make some yourself. She finds it endearing <3

If you insist on her helping, she’ll eventually comply. She loves you too much to say no. I feel like she’ll either be terrible at it or like a total architect.

Sand is technically like tiny rocks right? So maybe she can use her vision to help her? If that’s the case, she’s making a replica of the Jade chamber out of sand.

If any creepy person comes up to you don’t worry. Ningguang will buy the whole beach and then use her right of admission as owner to permanently ban them from the beach you’re at.

The only downside to a day at the beach with Ningguang might be that there’s a big chance she’ll be called to tend urgent matters, seeing as she is the Tianquan of the Liyue Qixing and all.

If that does happen, she’ll be sure to make it up to you somehow, whether it be rescheduling or taking care of the matter as soon as possible so that the two of you can get back to your day of relaxation and fun.

All in all?? Lady Ningguang will treat you like total royalty and the two of you will have an amazing time! I give her an 11/10 (she would literally buy a whole beach for you to be comfortable I mean c’mon)

🍃Venti:

BEACH DAYS WITH HIM ARE SO FUN!!

Swimming? Yeah, he’d love to! Sunbathing? Sure! He’ll ever conjure up a light breeze for the two of you. Sandcastle building? WELL OF COURSE WHY DO YOU THING HE BROUGHT ALL THESE BUCKETS AND SHOVELS?

No but seriously, he might be the best person out of everyone here to go to the beach with. He’s fun, free spirited, and he’s a traveling bard who’s been alive long enough to know where all the best beaches in Teyvat are. (He also knows a guy- er, well, dragon I suppose- who is willing to fly them to any place).

He’ll play some soft tunes while you doze under the sun.

HE PICKS PRETTY SHELLS AND GIFTS THEM TO YOU!!!

He will bring booze. I’m pretty sure this is a necessity. If you’re a little upset about it, he’ll probably “eheh~” his way out of it. That slick bastard.

If you really insist on him not drinking, he won’t consume much alcohol.

If some creepy person approaches you and tries to ruin you your day of beach time fun, all of their stuff will suddenly be blown away, causing them to scramble back to their spot and (almost embarrassingly) flail around trying to catch everything. What a shame…

At the end of the day, he’d be a little sad to leave. Definitely makes plans about tbe two of you going back soon.

I gotta give him a 10/10 he’s just so fun omg.

[6okuto]

A lot of people are asking about Felix (and I love it because I love him) but what about Sage? Our depressed and traumatized himbo? When I read his chapter 12 i wanted m o r e, because yes, there was a lot of angst and a little hurt/comfort but then? What happened during the night? Because he and mc decided to wait until the next day to ask the rest of the group for help so i need some headcanons about how they spent the night. Did Sage agree to sleep next to mc or did he go as far away as possible because he needed space? Did he sleep or did he stay awake with the fear that mc would disappear again and they would leave him alone again? Did they kiss? Did they have sex? And what kind of sex did they have? Because the next day they would go to fight and it could be their last day and Sage went six months without mc so I guess they did something during the night... I just need more of that Sage xjscsjec

ur right. ur right i forgot what happened with sage because i kept writing about felix but Man...my little meow meow :( SORRY I STARTED RAMBLING ABOUT SAGE'S CHARACTER i feel very strongly about him. me and my silly traumatized characters heehooheehoo

sadly everybody i do not think we're fucking sage tonight. that's an entirely different post and time

i think that would just. conflict with his entire. Thing rn LOL

he spent so much time alone and was forced to process that mc was gone, in his mind permanently, and like :/ for them to show up so suddenly . he wishes he could feel more excited or relieved but everything's different now . MAN they characterize this guy so well smh

if mc asked him to stay close he wouldn't reject them but i don't think he'd cuddle up real close. and mc seems to realize that themself so i don't think they'd even ask it of him

you can really see it with all the little moments they have of mc saying they won't touch him if he doesn't want them to, being careful with their questions, him ultimately not taking the leaf that falls on mc's shoulder off, but not moving away and leaning into their palm, when he says "it's fine if it's you".

sage survival mode = suppression, hiding emotions, and building walls. one night won't be enough to break them down again even though i Do love a good emotional breakdown . this shit is going to have long-term effects fr. yess dismissive-avoidant attachment style!! /sarc

so for sage it's this balance teetering between the 6 months' toll on his vulnerability/optimism/confidence vs knowing mc, realizing they care and want to help him, that they really are fine right now even if nothing else is. and this battle isn't really new to him but what is overwhelmingly new in ch. 12 is the appearance of mc. so the coping mechanism that he knows best is probably going to win because. it Works

eough. sorry was all of that obvious . i got carried away hold on

i imagined that sage would keep a distance but close enough to protect mc if something were to show up. like a few feet kind of deal. though if mc asks to sit closer he'd let them

him saying he'll take watch and mc being like no way. and they're both stubborn as hell so mc probably ends up staying up with him unless/until they fall asleep

i wouldn't be surprised if sage got nightmares about stuff. whether it was fighting or mc dying or something else. it would probably be a reason why he chose to stay up (though he won't bring it up unless mc figures it out. in which case he'll dismiss it and say that it's fine, that he just doesn't want to deal with them tonight. not like they can be much worse than the reality of it all, he guesses.)

the banter. is not super fun. your two options are ask him about the traumatic 6 months, or talk about the fucking...hour?? you spent away. like woo yeah lots of content lots to giggle about

there's probably sage catching mc up with the least amount of gory sad details he could. mc asking how he managed, the plans for the next day,, what mc would have to do and what to expect,, that kind of stuff

perhaps some dry humour. mc asking about his outfit and masking any possible concern by teasing him a little because hm...all this and you still have no shirt on? love your consistency

but once you get through all that it's like. ok. [crickets]

mc falling asleep . sage watching them and finally letting himself remember the time they spent together before everything came crashing down.

sage wanting to push hair out of their face or put them in a more comfortable position but not wanting to touch them (smth smth feels guilty and like he shouldn't smth smth figurative blood on his hands and touching the person he loves who he failed smth smth)

if he does sleep i know that guy couldn't figure out if he wanted to face mc or not. stares at them but ultimately turns his back ough

all in all :sob: not super fun. if i'm sort of right then this energy will still be there in the morning tbh. maybe with a couple more witty remarks :woozy_face:

i'm sure they'll have more scenes soon of sage being more vulnerable and mc helping him but :( first night back (neg, sad)

[magic-human-bean]

Ok so!!! How would the cookies of the vanilla kingdom react to a human helping them rebuild it? Thinking the human might find it super easy to lift “heavy” resources up to the kingdom, or even gathering materials? Maybe they could even pacify whatever violent wafflebots are still around, maybe by holding them in place long enough for another cookie to deal with it? Or by accidentally breaking them lol I mean if a human is gonna grab one I’d imagine they’d have to have a light touch. Soooooooo maybe they broke the first one whoops…..

After seeing that “human helps the cacao kingdom” post I absolutely COULD NOT stop thinking about this like… a big friend helping out cookie kingdoms is such a fun idea!!!

Woop haha under the cut we go again

So, it pains me to say that, because the Vanilla Kingdom is probably my favorite (bruh what wouldn't I give to live in a kingdom where well-being. mindfulness and peace are the top priorities. I need so much therapy), but I don't think a human could easily interact with this floating kingdom!

I'm guessing, from what we saw from the cookies' perspectives, that the kingdom islands are floating... maybe 5 feet above the ground for a human? Probably more. Like, almost just out of reach lol.

So unless they have some kind of tech/magic control that allows to lower the islands, it would be impossible for the human to safely (physically) interact with the kingdom.

And even if it were down to your waist or knees, what happens if you push on them? are the islands frozen solid in space, or would it actually move and drift away? Is it possible to push them so bad that it could become unstable and fall? I'm no magic engineer, I can't tell.

BUT for the sake of dreaming, I'll just assume that the kingdom is safely lowered down to the human's knees and continue from there.

The kingdom in general - The raisin cookies were once very wary. There was a time when they would have never considered working with a being such as a human, but thanks to Pure Vanilla Cookie's radiant confidence and optimism, they reluctantly (and a little curiously) decide to trust the human. Their king does a good job to teach them to keep an open mind, so it doesn't take too long for them to warm up to the human!

Pure Vanilla Cookie - I talked about his opinion on humans in a previous post so I won't repeat everything, but basically it brings him so much joy to work with beings that are so different. If peace can prevail through so many differences, it's proof of how beautiful this world can be! That also means he'll do what he can to be hospitable. He can't exactly build a hotel room for a human, but he'll prepare a whole thing to make sure the human doesn't go hungry. He'd find a way to set up a small tarp that the human can sleep under. And since he's so eager about this human, he'll probably spend some time everyday with the human, to make sure they're doing okay and really just to chat. He really wants the human to see him (and all cookies) as a friend.

Black Raisin Cookie - She thinks the king is a little too trusting, and at first, she tried to secretly keep an eye on the human, convinced that at SOME point, the human would show their true nature. Pure Vanilla Cookie noticed that though, and invited her to some kind of tea party with the human to force them to bond. He then somehow helped Black Raisin Cookie and the human to find a common interest that allowed them to finally warm up. She's making progress at having an open mind.

Strawberry Crepe Cookie - At first they were scared of the human. It reminded them of the things Dark Enchantress Cookie used to say about witches. But when they saw how much the human was respectful towards Pure Vanilla Cookie, they thought "Wow that giant thing is just a huge pushover that does whatever people tell them to do." They then attempted to boss the human around, and, when they realized they could abuse the human's strength, they tried to convince the human to destroy some things! Like houses. Of course the human said no, and that pissed them off. Luckily Strawberry Crepe Cookie isn't foolish enough to use their wafflebots to mess with the human. BUT for some reason, they decided that the best way to bully the human without getting in trouble was to compete against the human and prove that wafflebots can achieve the same things as a human. So I guess there's a playful rival situation going on. Oh right, and if the human has any tech on them (phone, laptop, etc), Strawberry Crepe Cookie will be obsessed with it. But be careful because they won't ask for permission to use it.

[wings-of-a-storm]

Sorry to bother you, but I am in such a negative headspace right now and I was hoping you could help. I am so terrified that the entire build up on Venji's relationship is gonna all be for nothing if the writers tear them down and break them just to make room for Vahim. As much as I want Rahim to be just another obstacle for Venji to overcome, I can't shake the feeling that that's not all he is. I am so scared for Venji, and for Benji, and the last thing I want is to see their relationship end.

Aw Anon, I’m so sorry you’re having a tough time. :(

Bearing in mind that I’ve probably phrased my thoughts on this a lot better in previous Asks, I can at least give you this: my overall optimism hasn’t swayed even now, after all this time.

Maybe a lot of that has to do with the rather visceral way Benji was introduced -- it was a Big Deal, seeing it all through Victor’s head, especially with all the callbacks to Simon and Bram with the carnival environment and Simon’s voiceover about Victor finding his person if he is lucky while Victor gazes at Benji. Not to mention the ferris wheel dream. It’s like an unspoken promise to viewers that Benji is Special so we have permission to let our guards down around him and root for him. (If the writers don’t intend for Benji to be endgame, we were set up soooooo bad.)

After all, it is a pretty common pattern in shows for viewers to often root for the first couple introduced because of the level of attachment grown with no other rivals dividing loyalties. The writers would be aware of that and at the very least have to handle things carefully with future love-interests. I know not all shows follow that endgame mould, but it’s a pretty strong one -- create a couple, get most of the audience invested in them, then break them apart with as many obstacles as possible so that viewers are super duper desperate to see them get back together again by the end and will keep their eyeballs on the screen for however long it takes to get there. It’s a tried and tested methodology. The writers may want to be more subversive then that but….their love-triangle tropes show otherwise at this point, lol!

Another thing worth consideration is that the writers mentioned they wanted to look at gay friendships as well as gay love-triangles in future seasons. Who is to say Rahim won’t end up back in that friendship dynamic? Especially if Felix’s talk with Victor at the end of S2 helped him realise the difference between a crush and an established love? And even if Victor ended up trying things with Rahim at some point, who is to say the two of them won’t decide they make more sense as friends in the end? A relationship with Rahim doesn’t automatically mean Victor and Benji will never be a couple again. It’s just more drama that writers would love to inflict on everyone…

And if it helps, I don’t necessarily buy into the ‘first loves aren’t realistic endgame’ argument. Especially in a book/tv show world. Firstly, people often consume romance/fiction to see the idealised fairytale working out despite all odds. It makes people feel happy compared to the less-fun world we actually live in. And secondly: never mind Isabel and Armando, what of Simon and Bram? Is Victor not allowed to have a first love work out like his predecessors just because it has already been done and is ‘unrealistic’?

I think there is lots of hope for Victor and Benji to reconnect in future seasons. Whether right away or later on is a question mark, but there is definitely hope, dear Anon. <3

[copperbadge]

Hi. I love your blog! I’m in the middle of a second major depressive episode (my first was in my teens) and like you were, I’m unemployed and living with my parents. I’m now on medication and getting help and applying for jobs, but no luck so far. How did you ‘turn your life around’ and how long did it take you – going from depressed to starting a successful career in the non-profit world? Any advice on how I could do the same?

Oh, Anon. I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this but in no way did I turn my life around, and I definitely didn’t build a career intentionally. 

A lot of the below is general advice -- you are already doing great! -- but I figure some people who are where you are but not quite as far along could be helped by it. Thanks for the opportunity :)

So, here’s the thing: depression is the kind of mental illness that can just be with you for the rest of your life even when it’s not impacting your life. Some depression is situational and therefore (theoretically) escapable, but some of us are just never going to forge enough serotonin on a regular enough schedule. So it’s not a matter of beating depression or backing away from it, but of learning good coping mechanisms: how to recognize an episode is coming, how to keep functioning in a depressive episode, when to ask for help. 

And unfortunately while I can tell you what works for me, this is going to vary by person. Some people feel sad all the time; some people feel numb; some people feel okay but are overly impacted by minor setbacks or frustrations, or can do normal life stuff but any deviation from routine sends them into a spiral. These are just examples; there are more. My methods of coping are stuff like building lists, making sure that those lists have stuff like “communicate with friends” on them, being on specific platforms that make that communication easy, and inasmuch as I can, avoiding drama and volatile emotions. Doing the bare minimum of housework to keep myself from being MORE depressed. Making sure my work gets done so that I keep my job, even if I feel like other parts of my life might be out of control. 

And as I’ve recently mentioned, I write fiction as a stress response. If I’m not writing but I’m doing okay -- keeping my house clean, feeling good, having fun -- that’s fine. Not optimal, I like writing, but it’s fine. If I’m writing, I’m probably a little stressed, but I’m managing it. If I’m not writing AND I’m not functioning well, or I know I’m unhappy, then I know that the depression is probably worse than I think it is, and I need to go into survival mode. 

Some people need meds -- taken year round, even when you’re not depressed. There’s no shame in that and if you aren’t currently using medication, I would recommend at least investigating its use to see if it could help. [ETA: Sorry I 100% missed the part where you are on medication, but this is still useful for others so I’m leaving it in.]

So like...”how long did it take me” is a tough question to answer because I’m still in it. I will be, all my life, and once I came to accept that, I could figure out ways to keep it from devastating me. How long it took me to establish good coping mechanisms? Well, I was diagnosed at 17, which is a rough age to be when it starts happening, but I managed to survive college (barely) and I feel like I had a pretty good handle on managing it by the time I was, I guess about 25. The point at which I was unemployed and living with my parents was the absolute low point of my life, when I was 23-24, but that was compounded by external factors. As soon as I got out of my parents’ house, things improved; as soon as I had a job, even a truly shitty one, I felt like life was survivable. (A huge coping mechanism in those days was actually Netflix, back when it was a mail-you-a-DVD service, because I knew at least a few times a week I would get mail addressed to me with a nice surprise in it.) 

And the thing about being here now is -- my parents gave me three grand to get out of the house, find a place of my own, and survive 2-3 months until I could find a job. I couldn’t have done any of what I’ve done without three solid thousand dollars, and even then I got lucky. I quit my first, super shitty job (the only time I have EVER quit a job) and got a job with my last place of work literally two week before the 2008 financial crisis hit. That job happened to be a very visible if very ground-floor administrative position, and from there I was able to impress people who wanted to hire me up to the next administrative level, and from there I was promoted into the department because I showed an active and visible interest in the work they did. That was intentional, but literally nothing before it was anything other than “I need a job and this one offers health insurance.”  

Once you have a job in which advancement is possible, which again is a matter somewhat of luck, advancing is just a matter of maintaining a good work-life balance while doing good work and showing you’re interested in supporting the mission of the company. Documenting the work you do, asking for raises, asking or applying for advancement -- putting yourself forward. That’s not so hard. But that’s kind of like starting on third base and telling someone you just need to run 90 feet. You’ve got to get to third base first and for me that was a lot of luck. 

But here’s the kicker: you can’t win the lottery unless you buy a ticket. So for you, right now, waiting on that opportunity, your job is to keep yourself alive and reasonably looked-after, gather all the energy you have, and start figuring out a game plan. Whether that’s a shitty job that you agree with yourself you’ll only do for a year, or asking your parents for a huge financial leap of faith if they’re able -- three grand was a LOT for my parents but they knew it was probably going to save my life -- or applying to better jobs that could push you up the ladder. And of course we’re in a pandemic so like, fuck the world, all of this is just that much harder. But people are being hired, and people are moving into apartments, and going to therapy, and doing their best. So there’s hope, as long as you start homebrewing it first. 

The thing that has helped me the most in the last twenty years, and which I think may be most helpful and simultaneously most frustrating to you, is that I never just said “I don’t like where I am or what I’m feeling”. I started there, absolutely, but then I asked, “What can I change to stop feeling this way?”

You have to rule out “nothing” as an answer. You probably will have to sit with the question for a while, maybe even a few weeks. You may need to google some weird shit to figure it out. And maybe what you do is a stupid stop-gap like buying yourself a $1 blind box toy once a week so you can feel surprise at something again. Maybe you admit that right now you need to pass the baton and you unfollow or blacklist political activism and activists and just fill your social media with people making dumb dad jokes and posting cat pictures. Maybe that gives your brain breathing room to find more permanent solutions.

But once you get in the habit of “how can I change this”, solutions do start to appear. 

So, yeah. Truth is I worked super hard but I also got super lucky. But part of being lucky was being there when the luck finally hit. So I’m wishing you, wholeheartedly, the best of luck. 

(Also if your parents have money and aren’t assholes I can’t recommend “Make them give you a long-term loan to get on your feet” strongly enough.)

[homophobicpunz]

im bored so im gonna ask dsmp!punz questions again cause these are fun and you have the best and correct punz thoughts

what would a punz and sam nook hug be like?

is sam nook also agender?

what’s punz’s favorite thing about the view from his tower

does punz like clicking buttons?

do non valorant playing friends ever come hang out while punz and ant play?

what does punz do immediately after ppsat

does he keep any snacks with him?

in badlands!punz au, if someone (probably bad) carried snacks for everyone, what snacks would they bring for each person

what would a punznook hotel room date be like?

punz’s thoughts on dolphins

punz’s thoughts on stained glass

how often does he practice pvp and with who?

does he like archery

if he made a little creature out of clay what would it look like and what would he name it

if he had a doormat what would it be like?

ok goodbye beet i hope you’re having a good time :] !!!!!

dfghfgh ty alright i do have the best and most correct dsmp!punz opinions

i imagine sam nook is pretty short so punz would make sure no one was watching and kneel down on the ground so they're at the same height

no, while i dont think sam nook finds gender to be very important, he considers himself a man (but he uses he/it pronouns)

i dont think punz spends a lot of time in the higher floors so he likes keeping his whole base area nice so theres a good view from lower windows. when he does go to the top he like how far he can see and how many important landmarks he has a view of

i think he likes clicking buttons a normal amount but his favorite stimmy thing to do is chew on things bc he can do that while his hands are occupied

sometimes? in general punz doesn't really have people over, he doesn't like other people in his space. (except as part of the eggpire when he does host things and invite ppl over)

after ppsat he tries to go to bed right away, he has animals to take care of and has to get up early.

punz usually has some pumpkin pie from sam with him

in the badlands au, bad brings protein bars for punz and sam, fancy cat wetfood for ant (ant throws the can at bad and doesnt eat it), and goldfish for skeppy bc he doesn't actual need to eat normal food but thinks it fun

punz goes all out getting a really nice room and decorating it super romantically but sam nook isnt really optimized for lying down and also doesn't sleep so its a little bit awkward but they figure it out and have good time. sam nook stands in the corner charging ominously when punz sleeps and punz thinks its cute

punz loves dolphins and likes playing with them, but doesn't usually have time.

punz thinks stained glass looks cool but doesnt use when building bc it limits visibility of windows

he trains everyday to stay in shape at his base. when he worked with dream he trained with him sometimes, maybe once a week. in the eggpire, he trains a lot with hannah and ant and he keeps training with hannah after occasionally

he does like archery! he trains with both a longbow and a crossbow pretty regularly and he finds archery to be a lot more satisfying to get right

punz would make a creature with four legs that had an upside down u shaped body and a smiley face. it would be really simple and he would give it a normal guy name like jason or patrick or something

[dianapocalypse]

Alright y’all, with the release of Mass Effect: Legendary Edition, it’s time for me to share my playlist for the entire trilogy.

I’ve refined this over like six years so scientifically speaking it’s probably good right. oh also it’s four hours long. so if you have a road trip or a boring job, this one’s for you. disclaimer, it’s entirely possible I have garbage taste in music. I also missed some characters and moments because there’s 65 songs here and I am merely human.

If you don’t have the patience for four hours, I recommend starting at track 45 and listening to the end, as the Mass Effect 3 portion is the strongest in my opinion.

UNDER THE CUT FOR DESCRIPTIONS WE GO!

FIRST MOVEMENT - MASS EFFECT 1

1. Atlas - Coldplay Eden Prime

“Sometimes the wire Must tense for the note Caught in the fire, say oh We're about to explode“

I really like the atmosphere of this song. It’s ominous, but also somehow hopeful, and makes me feel like Something Huge Is Coming.

2. I Will Not Sing A Hateful Song - Constantines Paragon Shepard

“But I was also born and raised To always speak and listen clear To know the last sound that I make Could be the last sound that I hear“

OK, listen, I think this song is about vampires, and I’m not sure if it’s supposed to be a metaphor or not. But I think this is a great song about controlling one’s temper, about knowing that you have to Rise Above the parts of you that want to lash out sometimes to get things done and have peace. Seeing as how paragon Shepard, to me, always seems like they’re three deep breaths away from snapping, but manage to keep it in check, it fits them to a T.

And also maybe they’re a vampire.

3. Hard to Kill - Beth Crowley Renegade Shepard

“So I let the rumors Turn me into a legend 'Cause I'm only human But a good myth is hard to kill”

This one’s a recent addition, but holy cow, I love it for Renegade Shep, particularly an Earthborn or Ruthless, but it works for any of them.

4. We Own the Skies - Five Iron Frenzy Joker

“My hands are bleeding where they often crack The stars will sometimes burn with longing Through the choking black Of night shifts piling each against the next”

This really vibes with Joker’s backstory for me, his super driven serious self in flight school, contrasted with who he is when he can fly a ship. He’s the best pilot in the goddamn fleet and I love him.

5. I Just Wanna See - Smash Mouth Kaidan Alenko

“Mister moon checkin' on how y'all livin' The stars all winkin' at the day that's dimmin' I just wanna see”

This song fits into his reactions to first showing up at the Citadel and his former romanticism about living in space. Ironically, it’s a song about Earth, but I feel like it works well for him. Also, Smash Mouth absolutely sounds like the kind of music Kaidan would listen to, no I will not be taking questions or constructive criticism.

6. Don’t Give Up - Noisettes Ashley Williams

“She's got a talented face and a suitcase Ain't got no desire to go no place In her case she's got no desire with her hand in the flame say's she don't feel the fire “

The energy of this song is just perfect for Ashley’s no-nonsense chip on her shoulder attitude.

7. About As Helpful As You Can Be Without Being Any Help At All - Dan Mangan The Council

“I was thrown in the boat/Cast out to sea Friendly with waves/There were sharks below Hungry for me/So I dangled my leg”

I mean, the title says it all.

8. The Captain - Guster Anderson

“Courageous, just like the captain Marching forward with no doubt in his head”

I have adored this song ever since my friend played it for me, and it’s the ultimate mentor-protégé jam for me.

9. Secret Agent Man - Johnny Rivers Garrus Vakarian

“Here's a man who leads a life of danger To everyone he meets he stays a stranger Oh, with every move he makes another chance he takes The odds are he won't live to see tomorrow”

I have to poke a little fun at Garrus and how seriously he takes himself in Mass Effect 1. I romanced him across four playthrus, I’m allowed!

10. I’m Getting Too Old For This Shit - Kill Lincoln Urdnot Wrex

“This random apathy/I swear it's killing me But I guess it's all the same, till the devil knows my name”

I don’t know ANYTHING about this band, but this song fits Wrex’s disillusionment with the Krogan well, plus, like. The title. (And also, that he secretly DOES care what happens to the Krogan.)

11. Bird Song - Juniper Vale Tali’zorah nar Rayya

“I want to dance on the horizon line But there is something I am caged behind I have a heart made for take flight But I'm low, so low”

I adore this song and the sound of Juniper Vale in general. The etherealness of this one, combined with the youthful optimism, feels very Tali. The line about ‘something I am caged behind’ works well for the suits, too. This one’s especially good if you’re a Talimancer!

12. 11. Green Garden - Laura Mvula Liara T’Soni

“And I’ll fly on the wings of a butterfly High as a tree top and down again Putting my bag down, taking my shoes off Walk on the carpet of green velvet”

I really like this song’s vibes and I feel like Liara fits it well, particularly in ME1, before all her youthful optimism is stripped from her. The scenery descriptions feel very Thessia, too.

13. Feed Me (Git It) - Little Shop of Horrors The Thorian 

“The guy sure looks like plant food to me!”

Do you get it. Do you get my joke. It’s because the Thorian is a plant that eats people. (I’m not funny)

14. Blindness - Metric Matriarch Benezia

“I was a blind fool, never complained All the survivors singing in the rain “

I don’t love the use of blind here as a negative, albeit metaphorical, descriptor, but I think this song fits Benezia’s indoctrination and death well. If you have suggestions for another, though, let me know!

15. Technologic - Daft Punk Saren

“Buy it, use it, break it, fix it, trash it, change it, mail, upgrade it”

I just think it’s Neat

16. Watershed - Vienna Teng The Reapers

“ While you were building your empires I was still sleeping”

I think this is the song that inspired the entire playlist. Vienna Teng sat down and decided to write a song from the perspective of a natural disaster, and it’s so ominous and gut-wrenching.

17. Hourglass - The Hush Sound Virmire

“This is how it ends We believe every lie and say we'll be friends How long will it last? Before we scratch all the scripts and we rework the cast “

hahahahah rework the cast get it because you have to pick who DIES

Seriously tho I really like this song for Virmire and that moment of choice that feels like it lasts 100 years on some playthroughts.

18. Pompeii - Bastille The Siege of the Citadel

“ And the walls kept tumbling down In the city that we love”

Throwback to when this song was on the radio like three times an hour. Which is around the time I made the first draft of this playlist, incidentally! It’s such a good Final Battle Jam for the Citadel, and the part about “if you close your eyes/does it almost feel like nothing’s changed at all” I think work really well for Shepard in this sequence. Shepard knew the Reapers were coming, had been fighting them all along; this attack on the Citadel is just retreading familiar territory for them, as horrifying as the war being brought to their doorstep is for the Citadel’s citizens and the council. James Vega has some good dialogue about that kind of thing in ME3.

INTERLUDE THE FIRST

19. Starships - Nicki Minaj The Normandy Crew

Starships were meant to fly Hands up and touch the sky

I like to have a little fun OK

20. Gravity - Yoko Kanno The Death of Commander Shepard

“Am I alone? is somebody there beyond these heavy aching feet still the road keeps on telling me to go on”

Welcome to mood whiplash, it’s my specialty! This is the part where you die. I think it also works for her coma very well, when she’s just drifting between life and death, not sure what’s going on, but something keeps trying to pull her back to the world.

SECOND MOVEMENT - MASS EFFECT 2

21. The Phoenix - Fall Out Boy The Lazarus Project

“Hey young blood, doesn't it feel like our time is running out? I'm gonna change you like a remix Then I'll raise you like a phoenix “

this song has no right to go as hard as it does and if  you think it’s melodramatic shut up

22. My Body Is A Cage - Peter Gabriel Commander Shepard

“I'm living in an age Whose name I don't know Though the fear keeps me moving Still my heart beats so slow “

This works particularly well if you romanced The Virmire Survivor, but this song captures the energy of Shepard freaking out bc they are trapped with Cerberus, because Cerberus rebuilt their body from the ground up. That jarring, caged feeling is so palpable in ME2 that when they gave me back Joker the first time I played, I BURST INTO SOBS from relief.

23. The Lady is a Vamp - The Spice Girls Miranda Lawson

“That's all in the past, legends built to last But she's got something new”

Listen. She’s a bond babe. Handbags, heels and pistols rock. She’s got class. This is a song about Miranda. That is all.

24. Kryptonite - 3 Doors Down Jacob Taylor

“ I watched the world float to the dark side of the moon After all I knew, it had to be something to do with you “

This one’s about the Vibes for me. Also can apply to his past relationship with Miranda. I’m also super showing my age on this song, oof haha.

25. Stable Song - Death Cab For Cutie Colony Abduction

“Rows of deserted houses all Our stable mates highway bound “

I really like the mood of this one for showing up on the very first abducted colony, the eerieness and sadness of it all and Shepard’s resolve to do something about it.

26. Konichiwa Bitches - Robyn Kasumi Goto

“I'm so very hot that when I rob your mansion You ain't call the cops, you call the fire station”

THAT COUPLET ALONE MAKES THE ENTIRE SONG. I love how playful and cheeky it is.

27. Seven Nation Army Glitch Mob Remix - The White Stripes, Glitch Mob Zaeed Massani

“And I'm talking to myself at night Because I can't forget Back and forth through my mind Behind a cigarette”

Pretty sure we all had this on some playlist or another when it came out, and it’s the perfect Badass With A Grudge song.

28. Science is Real - They Might Be Giants Mordin Solus

“ And when a theory emerges Consistent with the facts The proof is with science The truth is with science “

This one actually got added by my wife to replace a song that wasn’t on Spotify, but that has the same energy; Hank Green’s “I Fucking Love Science”. I get more into the emotional side of Mordin in the ME3 section, but I also really just love his Hamster On Coffee energy and this song captures it really well.

29. Prove Yourself - Radiohead Garrus Vakarian

“I can't afford to breathe in this town Nowhere to sit without a gun in my hand Hooked back up to the cathode ray

I'm better off dead “

The absolute rock bottom mental state Garrus is in when you get back to him in ME2 is so heartwrenching. Might not always agree with my boy’s methods, but he’s one of my favorite fictional characters of all time.

30. Rat a Tat - Fallout Boy Feat. Courtney Love Jack

“We are professional ashes of roses, this kerosene's live You settled your score, this is where you come to beg”

It helps that Courtney Love sounds exactly like Jack to me, NGL.

31. Defeat You - Smash Mouth Grunt

“Hey I know what you've done It makes it that much better to defeat you “

Only I am brave enough to put two songs by Smash Mouth on the same playlist, to be shared in 2021

32. The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot - Brand New Horizon/The Virmire Survivor

“If it makes you less sad I will die by your hand Hope you find out what you want Already know what I am “

Hits harder if you romanced the Virmire Survivor. Mostly from Shep’s perspective. This is a Shep that feels Bad after that encounter rather than Mad, so Your Mileage May Vary.

33. Violet Stars Happy Hunting! - Janelle Monae Tali’zorah vas Neema

“I'm an alien from outer space I'm a cyber-girl without a face a heart or a mind”

I just like the vibes of this one for Tali! I know it’s more about an actual AI but...IDK. I like it. So there.

34. Comfortably Numb - Pink Floyd Thane Krios

“There is no pain you are receding A distant ship smoke on the horizon”

This song works both on a Literal level with his Kepral’s syndrome struggles, but also Metaphorical re: his Battle Sleep. Plus, Thane is a dad, so he gets Dad Rock.

35. My Medea - Vienna Teng Samara

“For I have made her prison be Her every step away from me And this child I would destroy If you tried to set her free “

Mom of the year award, here

36. Toxic - Britney Spears Morinth

“There's no escape, I can't wait I need a hit, baby, give me it You're dangerous, I'm loving it”

If Morinth weren’t so under-utilized after recruitment and didn’t get killed off in the background of ME3 I’d probably actually recruit her sometimes. I almost did on my most recent playthru bc that Shepard just HATES SPACE COPS. Anyway the song explains itself

37. Turn me On - David Guetta feat. Nicki Minaj EDI/The Collector Attack

“My body needs a hero Come and save me Something tells me you know how to save me”

I know this song is a metaphor but also it works really well both literally and metaphorically for Joker saving EDI

38. Robots - Dan Mangan Legion

“Robots need love too They want to be loved by you “

The Geth just want to live peacefullyyyyyy 

39. Be Still - The Killers Love Interest Theme

“Be still / someday you’ll leave fearlessness on your sleeve”

This song works so well for the night before Omega-4. If you had an ME2 love interest, anyway. Also “fearlessness on your sleeve” is one of my favorite set of words ever written.

40. No Cars Go - Arcade Fire The Omega-4 Relay

“We know a place no spaceships go We know a place where no subs go “

This one’s pretty literal.

41. Rocketman - Elton John Suicide Mission

“ And I think it's gonna be a long, long time 'Til touchdown brings me 'round again to find I'm not the man they think I am at home “

I like sneaking some Classics onto my playlists, and I think this is how I generally approach Shepard’s mindset during the Suicide Mission, mostly the chorus. I’m also a sucker for ballads during action sequences. This one isn’t a perfect 1:1 but the Vibes check out.

42. Blast Off - David Guetta feat. Kaz James The Normandy Crew

“Got all my people with me And none of us give a fuck So put dem hands up higher Let's smash this party up”

You have to imagine they partied HARD after recovering from Suicide Mission, but before Shep got arrested, right??? This is the Starships for ME2.

INTERLUDE THE SECOND

43. I’m Not Your Hero - Tegan and Sara Liara T’soni

“ Feeling like I am now lighting up the hall I was used to standing in the shadow of a damaged heart Learning all I know now, losing all I did I never used to feel like I'd be standing so far ahead “

This feels like a good coming of age moment for Liara, as she copes with the choices she made in the 2 years of Shepard’s death (giving them to Cerberus), losing Feron, etc. This is her coming into her own as the Shadow Broker. She’s not meant to be an uncomplicated Big Damn Hero, but she can do good from this position.

44. The Well and the Lighthouse - Arcade Fire The Alpha Relay Incident

“I'm serving time All for a crime I did commit You want the truth? You know I'd do it all again“

These opening lines I feel capture the Alpha Relay Incident really well, and how Shepard did what they HAD to do there, and would do it again, but it still feels like shit. I always wished there was more choice on that mission, but also, having something like that happen without player agency is interesting. Shepard is at their most interesting, I think, in times where we DON’T have a say in what happens to them.

45. Reignite - Malukah Commander Shepard

“Crush my heart into embers, and I will reignite”

Is it cheating to use a Mass Effect fan song on my playlist? I certainly don’t think so, and this is the best Mass Effect fan song ever written.

THIRD MOVEMENT - MASS EFFECT 3

46. This Is War - Thirty Seconds to Mars Leaving Earth

“It's the moment of truth, and the moment to lie The moment to live and the moment to die The moment to fight, the moment to fight To fight, to fight, to fight “

It feels Too Easy to use this here but I’m gonna anyway. You’ve seen AMVs of this set to everything. It’s the ending song of DA:O. It’s the quintessential World At War song.

47. Battleborn - The Killers James Vega

“Up against the wall There's something dying on the street When they knock you down You're gonna get back on your feet”

James Vega is massively underrated and I will love him til I’m cold in the ground. Aro icon.

48. Handlebars - Flobots The Illusive Man

“I can hand out a million vaccinations Or let 'em all die of exasperation Have 'em all healed of their lacerations Have 'em all killed by assassination”

The way this song escalates fits TIM and Cerberus’s fall back into being Just Full On Evil really well. Perfect song for a power trip.

49. Here I Dreamt I Was An Architect - The Decemberists The Virmire Survivor

“And I am nothing of a builder But here I dreamt I was an architect And I built this balustrade To keep you home, to keep you safe From the outside world”

I like this song for how the Virmire Survivor feels about their survivor’s guilt and also about Shepard. I honestly wish they were both more heavily utilized in ME2 and 3, but I realize it’s hard to write a ton of content for characters who just aren’t in half of all peoples’ playthrus.

50. Heaven Knows - The Pretty Reckless Grisson Academy

“One, two, three and four, the devil's knocking at your door Caught in the eye of a dead man's lie Show your life with your head held high“

This song is so perfect for Jack and her biotic kids that she’s one of the only returning characters that gets her own song on this playlist

51. The Great Fire - OK Go Javik

“But when the flames die down, and everything is gone, Will there be fire under the ashes still?”

Self explanatory. Javik is the fire remaining under the ashes.

52. Bring the Hammer Down - Paragon Priority: Tuchanka/Kalros

“ Hammer strikes the anvil A rage that breaks the chain Strikes down like a lightening In our ranks “

KALROOOOOS

53. Wake Up - Arcade Fire Curing The Genophage/Mordin Solus

“If the children don't grow up, Our bodies get bigger but our hearts get torn up. We're just a million little gods causin' rain storms, turnin' every good thing to Rust I guess we'll just have to adjust”

I just really love this song as an image of Mordin’s spirit looking out over Tuchanka as the genophage cure is dispersed, and watching over future generations. If you didn’t cure the genophage, how dare you. No song for you.

Anyway started tearing up listening to this one while writing the description don’t look at me

54. Ballad of a Politician - Regina Spektor Councillor Udina/Priority Citadel 2

“A man inside a room is shaking hands with other men This is how it happens/Our carefully laid plans”

traitor

55. Cyborgs vs. Robots - Ludo The Geth-Quarian War

“But your iron fist will never knock me down 'Cause I'm powered By a conscious right to conduct my life without fear.”

This is probably a bit silly for this awful war. But also. It does fit. You can’t tell me it doesn’t. Just save them both at the end and you can feel fine having some fun with it!

56. Artificial Heart - Jonathan Coulton The Geth

“It's not a real heart It is a real artificial heart”

Just a little fun with the Geth! This works best with Reaper Upgrades.

57. With A Little Help From My Friends - Joe Anderson, Jim Sturgess The Citadel DLC

“What do you see when you turn out the light? I can't tell you, but I know it's mine

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends”

I happen to prefer this version to any other because of how much fun it sounds like they’re having

58. Dark In Here - The Mountain Goats Priority: Earth

“Steal away at sundown, pick a place to hide Check for signs of ambush, hunker down inside Tired of running, tired of never standing still Hear them riding up the hill“

You know I had to get the Goats in here. Would it be a fan playlist if there wasn’t one?

59. Adieu - Yoko Kanno Leaving your Love Interest/Shepard and the Beam

“My love for you burns deep inside me / So strong Embers of times we had And now, here I stand / Lost in a memory I see your face, and smile”

...do I need to say more than that?

60. My Way (Minor Key) - Chase Holfelder The Indoctrination of The Illusive Man

“Regrets, I've had a few/But then again, too few to mention I did what I had to do/I saw it through, without exemption“

This cover takes this song from something I tolerate when I hear it to one of my FAVORITE songs. The frenzied way he sings the “through it all” verse is PEAK Indoctrinated TIM.

61. I’m Alive - Disturbed Refusal 

“There will never be a reason why I will surrender to your advice To change myself, I'd rather die/Though they will not understand”

Honestly I didn’t “get” the Refusal ending until I heard this song, then I was like, OH, I SEE IT ALL SO CLEARLY NOW. This is my favorite in-universe Shepard take on the Refusal ending. I always got it from the player’s perspective of being dissatisfied with the options, but this one puts it into the world for me. This is a Shepard who does not trust the Starchild. This is a Shepard that chooses to end things on their own terms rather than submit to their designs.

62. Machine - Regina Spektor Control 

“I collect my moments Into a correspondence With a mightier power Who just lacks my perspective And who lacks my organics And who covets my defects “

I used to have Adieu here, actually, because like Refusal, I didn’t used to GET the Control ending. Now, I do, in part thanks to hearing this song. I mean, just go look at the full lyrics. If this song hadn’t been written years before the end of Mass Effect 3, I’d swear it was a fan song for it.

63. Maybe Tomorrow - Yuki Kajiura Destroy 

“The moon is gone And the night is still so dark I'm a little bit afraid of tomorrow“

I’m a Destroy Ending person, I won’t lie. Full on “the starchild is a liar and my synthetic friends are FINE” indoctrination theory level destroy ending. But this song is not about that. It’s about the canonical destroy ending, and if you prefer a Shep that survives it, this song’s for you.

This song captures the exhaustion and melancholy of the end of a long journey so well. Shepard is afraid of what comes next, the collateral damage resulting from their actions. But they know that, at least, it’s over now. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

64. Waiting For the End - Linkin Park Synthesis

“ I know what it takes to move on I know how it feels to lie All I wanna do is trade this life for something new Holding on to what I haven't got”

This is one of my favorite songs of all time. The hardest part of ending is starting again. Oof. Gets me every single time. Shepard finding the resolve to sacrifice themself for the hope of something better, of things not going how they planned, ever, of learning to make peace with that and the people who loved them learning to carry on without them? OOF.

65. Shine - Vienna Teng Epilogue

“Shine with all the untold Hold the light given unto you Find the love to unfold In this broken world we choose“

Vienna Teng is a master of capturing life’s softer emotions, and this fits perfectly with the epilogue scene for me. Tell me again about the Shepard.

“Find the love to unfold in this broken world we choose” has to be one of the greatest lines about the human experience ever written.

[fritae]

The Missing Piece : Chapter 1

Gang leader! AU / Corporate! AU

Characters: Dabi x F/OC

Status: Ongoing

Summary:

Rina Aoki is the secretary of one of the world's biggest broadcasting stations - only she hates her job and wakes up everyday asking herself if this is all there is to life. Then, she meets Dabi: a man of overpowering confidence and many, many secrets. But beneath all that confidence is a wounded soul and years' worth of repressed anger. The two struggle with fear, ambition, vulnerability - but eventually learn that life may just be better when you don't have to struggle alone.

A/N:

There are no quirks in this story. I tried to give it a real world spin. But it will explore dynamics between good and evil, right and wrong, and feelings of family, friendship, love and belonging. I'm super excited about the story and I hope you enjoy it!Chapter 1: the meeting

Chapter One: The Meeting

It was raining.

I hide my tote under my coat out of fear for my laptop. If it gets wet, I'm done for. My boss isn't exactly the most considerate person out there. If anything were to happen to the highly coveted files on it, I might as well hand in my resignation.

I sigh with relief once the bus arrives, and quickly hurry inside.

As I find a seat, I lean my head against the window, not caring for germs or the subtle tremble of the glass. It feels cool against my skin, and not as uncomfortable as I thought it would be. But more importantly, it is distracting. It'll give me something else to focus on during the ride.

At least I hoped so.

But within minutes, it becomes clear that my mind has no intention of being distracted. The thoughts creep in and suddenly the soft hum of the engine is no match against the throbbing in my head.

Of course not.

Distractions simply don't last long these days.

So I surrender to the thoughts as I stare at the passing streets, feeling increasingly empty by the minute.

I hate my job. I hate everything about it. Working as a secretary for a broadcasting company is a dream for many. The salary isn't bad. I have access to exclusive events and frequently coordinate with the biggest names in the industry. I know the ins and outs of selling an idea and making it resonate with millions.

But I quickly learned all the people in this industry are insufferable. The whole premise rests upon the art of manipulation, taking something that may very well be worthless and conning people into thinking it will fill a hole they didn't even know they had. The people are superficial, be it actors or other famous personalities. Everyone is so obsessed with images. How to best put on a show to gain the love and admiration of millions.

But what use is their love if it's built upon the distortion of reality?

I shake my head before burying it in my palms.

No matter, I tell myself.

As frustrating and unfulfilling as the work may be, it pays the bills and keeps me busy.

A little too busy...

I get up once my stop arrives. I say a quick thank you to the bus driver before hurrying out.

The cold makes me shiver and I pull my skirt to cover more of my thighs before plastering a fake smile onto my face.

The fake smile is part of the uniform here.

My heels click together with attitude as I make my way through the building. The noise hits my ears immediately. Loud chattering, blaring music and upbeat announcements stand in sharp contrast to the calm of the rainy world outside. I blow kisses as my colleagues call out my name from the studio floor.

My friend and roommate Aliyah takes off her headset to wave me over. She left home extra early today owing to her busy schedule as floor manager. The glaring lights tell me they're about to start shooting but as much as I want to help her with final preparations, I have more important things to worry about right now.

"Can't talk now, Al!" I say apologetically. With one point to my tote bag, she understands. "Good luck!" she shouts back, before returning her attention to the production crew.

I sigh.

I will definitely need all the luck I can get.

I take the elevator up to the highest floor of the company. While our studios are bright, loud and fun. The offices are formal, professional and characteristic of a multibillion dollar company. I knock twice before heading into the largest office at the end of the hall, where my boss is waiting for me. The letters NNTV adorn the walls in an elegant gold print behind him.

A pair of glasses sits on the bridge of Mr. Lane's nose as he reads over today's reports.

"You're late, Ms. Aoki." He says without looking up.

"Apologies, sir. It was unexpected."

"Do I not say to account for the unexpected in your planning, Ms. Aoki?"

"It won't happen again, sir."

He offers me a *tsk* in response.

"Our ratings have gone down this month. Much more than we anticipated." Mr. Lane grumbles.

"CBS' new reality show has attracted a lot of viewers, sir. It's competing with our usual broadcasts at-."

"Then why have you not found a program to substitute whatever we usually air at that time?"

I bite back a sigh. "The current schedule is the most optimal, sir. If we switch around any programs we risk affecting the viewership of The Midnight Show and Killer."

"Well then figure something out!" He barks. "That's what your job is, isn't it?"

"We have a team for a reason, sir. Perhaps we can consult them today? I can schedule an emergency meeting to address this."

I say this knowing the rest of the team won't alter the schedule. The nature of the industry is ratings fluctuate all the time. To change our scheduling at every hint of a drop will only harm our future ratings.

He waves me away. "Schedule it for two hours from now. Cancel anything else I have at that time."

"Yes sir." I confirm, before turning around.

My nostrils seethe as I suddenly hear him mutter *Useless* under his breath.

The rest of the day is spent taking more orders and backtracking on Mr. Lane's previous decisions. Just as I'd expected, the board decided it would be better to simply wait out the next two weeks until the current programs are finished before rearranging any of the schedules. I make a mental note to consider what might be a suitable alternative in the meantime.

The hours drag on. I should have been done at 5, but 7 o clock hits and I'm still taking phone call after phone call. It isn't until a quarter to 9 that I can finally go home.

I sigh as I pass the much quieter studio floor on the way out. I don't find Aliyah among the crew, but I'm sure she's taking care of her own things at the moment. The Midnight Show is scheduled for well, midnight, so she's probably taking a final break before her last project of the night.

Once I am outside, I let out a deep breath I didn't know I was holding in. Instead of taking the bus straight home, I find myself walking toward Café Du Monde. It sits a few blocks away from the NNTV building.

The smell of roasted coffee beans and fresh pastries greets me as I enter. The soft jazz is welcomed by my ears after a day of nonstop chatter and corporate debate.

As I stand in line, I remind myself to pick up coffees before I leave for the crew working late tonight. Hopefully Aliyah will be back by then.

---

"Shit," I hear the man ahead of me in line mutter. "I think I forgot my wallet back in the office."

He checks his pockets again, but finding them empty he looks up at the cashier. "Sorry man, I'll be back another day."

But before he could walk away, I step up to the register. "It's okay, I got it."

He glances at me. "Nah, don't-"

"It's nothing. Can you add another coffee to the order please?"

The cashier punches a few numbers into the register and I hand him a 20.

---

The man tips his hand in thanks. I nod back at him and walk up to the roof.

With a coffee in one hand and a cigarette in the other, I sigh. Now to get the day out of my system...

"How can I repay you," A smooth voice says behind me.

I look over my shoulder to see the man walk up to the ledge with me. He has electrifying blue eyes, a head of thick dark hair, and the kind of walk that signifies authority.

"You good at conversation?" I ask.

He thinks for a moment. "How about I let you be the judge of that?"

I pass the man a cigarette. "Then distract me."

"You don't look like the type to smoke." He comments before accepting it.

"Looks can be deceiving." I shrug.

"It feel good or something?"

"Or something." I confirm with a smile. "Just reminds me to breathe in," and with a soft easing in my chest, "and breathe out."

He leans back against the railing. "Hm. You know breathing quality isn't exactly what people would associate with cigarettes."

I roll my eyes. "You know what I mean."

The man chuckles. "Yeah. Although I think rearranging a few things in your life would help more than smoking. Don't want to grow reliant on an outside source for relief now."

"Well, well. Wasn't aware I was speaking to a mental health guru."

He seems amused by that. "That's not what the people working for me would say but it's nice to know their sentiments aren't universal."

"Ah. So you're a shitty boss."

"I'm just a boss." He corrects. "What people think of me has nothing to do with me."

"Must be nice to believe that." I sigh, taking another puff of my roll.

"No reason not to, eh? Letting others' opinions matter to you means you lose power over yourself. There's nothing you could want from them that you can't do for yourself."

"Money?" I suggest.

"That's easy. But it depends on how willing you are to work for it."

"Work quite a lot." I scowl. "...starting to wonder if it's worth the headache, to be honest."

The man leans closer to me, his breath warm against my ear. I try not to focus on the scent of his cologne, musky with notes of amber and cedar wood. "Then what you want isn't really money. Sounds like you want more."

"More?"

"Yeah. Money by itself isn't satisfying," He says matter of factly. He leans away to take a sip of his coffee. "Only when it's coupled with a goal."

"Hm."

"Money doesn't take you anywhere; it's just a means to an end." He continues. There's an air of mystery behind those turquoise eyes of his. "Your goal is what guides you. Where do you want to go?"

Someone in this neighborhood that doesn't live and die for money? I almost want to laugh. What goal guides him then? What does he stay alive for?

But I keep those questions to myself. I shouldn't get too close to a man I'll never see again.

"I want to be my own boss." I say with a soft smile. Be my own boss. Wouldn't that be nice? No more waking up with Mr. Lane's voice already echoing in my head. No more plastering fake smiles and maintaining that "professional" semblance for hours on end. "I'm tired of taking orders from other people."

I almost miss the sudden gleam in his eye.

"Now that's more like it."

---

I leave the cafe with a box of donuts in one hand and a coffee tote in the other.

I said goodbye to the stranger, happy to have shared these thoughts with someone. It strikes me that I didn't even ask his name.

I shrug. Perhaps that's the magic of moments like these. The universe puts us in places we don't expect to be in. Brings two strangers together and they realize maybe this meeting was just what they needed today. The man got his coffee and I...I was able to let my thoughts run freely.

At least for a while.

"And now we abandon the fantasies and return to reality," I mutter with a sigh. I hook my pinkie with the large glass double doors of NNTV and pull the handle toward me.

There's a small audience present now, the guests for the Midnight Show. I walk around them and smile when I find Aliyah, arms crossed and eyes trained on the set, trying to catch any faults before we air.

"Al!" I call out in a whisper. She immediately looks my way, face lighting up at the sight of the coffee.

"Oh, you're a lifesaver!" She says excitedly as she takes the sweets from my hand. "Hey Joe, set this up for the crew, will ya?"

An intern shuffles forward and takes the bags anxiously to prepare a little station for the team.

"How'd you know I needed the coffee?" She smiles at me.

"Because I needed the coffee," I say with a laugh. "And you've been awake far longer than I have."

Aliyah laughs and rubs her eyes. "I forget how much time I spend here sometimes. No matter - you staying for the show tonight?"

I smile apologetically. "You know I'd love to, but I can barely keep my eyes open. I've got a long day tomorrow, I'm gonna need all the sleep I can get."

I say goodbye to the rest of the crew, smiling sheepishly as they spout *thank you*s for the late night coffee and donuts, and make my way home.

Later that night, as I lay in bed with my eyes trained on the ceiling, I feel a sudden urge to whisper these words out loud.

Please let my life be worth more than the value I add to a company.