#hippo's da celebration

[thievinghippo]

31 Days of DA - Introduce your Hero of Ferelden

Meet Anelle Brosca

She's a dwarf commoner rogue who romanced Alistair. After the events of DA:O, they roamed Felerden together as Grey Wardens, until events forces them apart

Anelle chose to support Bhalen in Orzammar, not because she necessarily agreed with his politics, but because that would ensure her sister's safety. Anelle's nephew is one of the most important people in her life (who is 22 at the time of the next game!)

Her favorite drink in the world? Just a glass of clean, clear water. Growing up, everything in Dust Town tasted of lyrium (because lyrium dust gets into everything, hence the name). Her mabari's name is Parta, which is the dwarven word for 'peace.' She secretly loves it when Alistair rests his arm on her head, but tells him she's annoyed by it

Since the end of the 5th Blight, Anelle has been on a one-dwarven woman campaign to get Alistair to grow a proper beard. For whatever reason, he refused, until they were reunited after the events of Inquisition

Important links

#anelle brosca

#otp: the long walk

fic - five times brosca didn't look up at the sky and one time she did

tarot art by @snuffes, line art by @sketchingsparrow

(want to join in on the fun? here's the prompt list!)

[thebowerypresents]

Tierra Whack Celebrates Debut Album’s Release at Webster Hall on Friday Night

Tierra Whack – Webster Hall – March 15, 2024

Philadelphia rap queen Tierra Whack has been getting the party started worldwide with her infectious rhymes for several years now. (It’s probably only a matter of time before she graces the multipurpose-room stage on Abbott Elementary to battle Tariq Temple at a F.A.D.E. showcase.) Whack channels creativity and visual aspirations into her poetic lyrics and the videos that accompany them. From the Grammy-nominated video for “Mumbo Jumbo” to the recent Alex Da Corte–directed “27 Club,” her flair for fashion exudes further joy and pop, as witnessed on World Wide Whack, her debut full-length. She celebrated its release Friday night at a sold-out Webster Hall.   

With a large inflatable of the World Wide Whack avatar occupying a third of the stage, the rapper appeared adorned in her silver clown suit mirroring the attire from her album’s aesthetics. Opening with track one from her latest, “Mood Swing” appropriately began with  “I’ve been trying new things.” Throughout the show, the crowd indulged in a call-and-response, which warm-up DJ Kill Sing kicked off with a cry of  “worldwide” and requested the “Whack” reply. The admittedly nervous singer would cover the majority of the new songs, from the bounce-inducing “Ms Behave” to the melancholic “Two Night,” Her confidence building thanks to the supportive crowd, Whack effortlessly weaved among rap, pop, and R&B with her new material. On lead-single “Chanel Pit,” music box melodies danced amongst the spits of cultural references, like Vin Diesel and Resident Evil. Closer “27 Club” grooved to more R&B vibes for a downtempo, contemplative swan song, enrapturing the front row. 

Tierra Whack didn’t leave her stans without a trip down memory lane, including fan favorites like the bop “Pretty Ugly” and “Fuck Off,” which elicited raised middle fingers across the room. Everybody on the floor happily sang, “He likes my diamonds and pearls,” along with “Hungry Hippo.”  For the first time live, Whack performed her section of Lil Yachty’s “T.D.” before calling it a night. Despite the house lights turning on and exit music playing, everyone stayed put, chanting, “World Wide Whack,” leaving the stage crew unsure if they should halt operations. DJ Kill Sing indicated it might not be the end to this unforgettable night, as a wigless Whack returned to confess she was already shedding her costume. The crowd-manifested encore had the Philly native run off “Peppers and Onions” atop the barricade, before dropping to the floor amid her rabid admirers. —Sharlene Chiu | @Shar0ck

Photos courtesy of Edwina Hay | thisisnotaphotograph.com

@thesearenotphotographs

[nftslab]

Anbrella Project ☂️

La deforestazione e l'avanzamento progressivo delle costruzioni dell'uomo hanno ridotto pericolosamente gli spazi di vita degli animali in ogni parte del mondo col risultato di aver portato alla drastica riduzione, se non alla scomparsa, di speci endemiche di molti territori. Anbrella Project è un ambizioso progetto italiano alla cui base c'è il desiderio di riportare la vita sulla Terra al suo equilibrio naturale e dimostrare che la convivenza di noi umani con la natura non è impossibile.

L' idea è quella di ripopolare di vegetazione le aree deturpate dall'intervento dell'uomo per far sì che queste si ripopolino di animali e tornino a vivere sane, ripristinando il loro l'ecosistema e combattendo i cambiamenti climatici. È un progetto enorme anche solo da pensare, ma realizzabile: lo hanno dimostrato il celebre fotografo Sebastião Salgado e sua moglie, l’artista e produttrice Lélia Deluiz Wanick che, in venti anni, in Brasile, hanno piantato più di tre milioni di esemplari di alberi su un territorio di 700 ettari di terra tropicale ad Aimores, nello Stato di Minas Gerais, in cui sono tornate a vivere oltre 290 speci di vegetazione e centinaia di animali. Sebastião e Lélia sono riusciti in un vero miracolo. Il loro progetto è ancora in corso e contano di arrivare a quattro milioni di alberi piantati entro la fine del programma. Anbrella Project vuole prendere a modello il loro esempio, utilizzando la rete costituita dai social per includere quante più persone possibile e riuscire a raccogliere una cifra che permetta la riforestazione di almeno un'area del pianeta. La partecipazione è il primo e più importante passo per raggiungere un risultato così ambizioso. Sono stati lanciati i primi dodici disegni e a breve la collezione sarà messa all'asta su Opensea. Cerca #AnbrellaProject e sostienici!

#NFTProject #animals #Environment #staytuned #stayalert #reforestation #reforestación #green #opensea #NFTCommunity #umbrella #colors #characters #lion #tiger #bat #hippo #giraffe #rabbit #zebra #bear #whitebear #raccoon #rhinoceros #penguin

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[cinquecolonnemagazine]

Così Lontano, così vicino!

Arriva il nuovo trailer di Così Lontano, così vicino!, il seguito di Il cielo sopra Berlino, girato da Wim Wenders dopo la caduta del muro. Il film è distribuito da CG entertainment in collaborazione con Cinema Beltrade - Barz and Hippo e sarà nelle sale di tutta Italia a partire al prossimo 21 Marzo. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Udo0l4FoayA Il film: Così Lontano, così vicino! Vincitore del Gran premio della Giuria al Festival di Cannes nel 1993 il film si avvale di un cast straordinario: Otto Sander, Peter Falk, Bruno Ganz, Horst Buchholz, Nastassja Kinski, Heinz Rühmann, Solveig Dommartin, Rüdiger Vogler, Willem Dafoe e con Lou Reed e Mikhail Gorbachev. A rendere celebre il film anche la straordinaria colonna sonora: oltre alle musiche originali di Laurent Petitgand, i memorabili brani di Lou Reed, U2, Johnny Cash, Nick Cave, Laurie Anderson, solo per citarne alcuni. Sinossi  Il muro di Berlino è oramai caduto da qualche anno. L'angelo Cassiel (Otto Sander) decide finalmente di fare il grande salto: si trasforma in un umano. Con il nome di Karl Engel ritrova l'amico Damiel (Bruno Ganz), ora sposato con Marion(Solveig Dommartin), conosce l'angelo-demone Emit Flesti (Willem Dafoe), e l’affarista Baker (Horst Buchholz). Ad osservare la sua nuova vita c'è Raphaela (Nastassja Kinski). Scoperti i loschi affari di Baker, Cassiel cercherà di fermarlo con l'aiuto dei suoi amici… Read the full article

[logi1974]

Namushasha River Lodge celebrates the wonders of the Zambezi water world. Situated 24km south of Kongola on the C49 (D3501), Namushasha is the perfect stopover en route to Victoria Falls.

With elephants, hippos, myriad bird species, waterlilies and African bush, a visit to Namushasha provides an enriching adventure into Nature - to the accompaniment of the chiming of reed frogs, bird calls, hippo grunts and the soothing sound of a boat skimming through water.

Namushasha River Lodge offers guests a superlative choice of exciting activities: Stroll to the traditional heritage centre; early morning or late afternoon river cruises to explore the channels and discover the diverse bird life; or take a trip to the Bwabwata National Park, first by boat along the waterways to later transfer to a game vehicle for an excursion into African bush. At the end of the day, there's nothing that can quite compare to a red Zambezi sunset.

-----------------------------------------

Die Namushasha River Lodge ist ideal gelegen um die exotische Welt des Sambesi zu erkunden. Namushasha liegt 24 km südlich von Kongola an der C49 (D3501) und ist der perfekte Zwischenstopp auf dem Weg zu den Viktoriafällen

Mit Elefanten, Flusspferden, unzähligen Vogelarten, Seerosen und afrikanischem Busch bietet ein Besuch in Namushasha ein bereicherndes Naturabenteuer  - begleitet von Schilffröschen, Vogelstimmen, Flusspferdgrunzen und dem beruhigenden Geräusch eines Bootes, das durch Wasser gleitet .

Die Namushasha River Lodge bietet ihren Gästen eine Auswahl an aufregenden Aktivitäten: Bummeln zum traditionellen Kulturerbe-Zentrum. Flusskreuzfahrten am frühen Morgen oder am späten Nachmittag, um die Kanäle zu erkunden und die vielfältige Vogelwelt zu entdecken. Oder einen Ausflug in den Bwabwata-Nationalpark, zuerst mit dem Boot entlang der Wasserstraßen, um später in ein Pirschfahrzeug umzusteigen und einen Ausflug in den afrikanischen Busch zu unternehmen. Am Ende des Tages gibt es nichts, was mit einem roten Sambesi-Sonnenuntergang vergleichbar wäre.

[italianartsociety]

By Samantha Hughes-Johnson

Today (June 29) marks the joint feast day of Saints Peter and Paul. Since, at least, the third century that followed the death of Christ, the solemnities of these saints have been celebrated on the same day. While these apostles were likely executed a year apart, theologians considered them a single entity, as regards the development of the early Christian church. In 395 B.C. Saint Augustine of Hippo said of them: 

“Both apostles share the same feast day, for these two were one; and even though they suffered on different days, they were as one. Peter went first, and Paul followed. And so we celebrate this day made holy for us by the apostles' blood. Let us embrace what they believed, their life, their labors, their sufferings, their preaching, and their confession of faith.”

Images: Carlo Crivelli, Saints Peter and Paul, c.1470, tempera on poplar wood, The National Gallery, London. Copyright © 2016–2020 The National Gallery.

Guido Reni, Saints Peter and Paul, 17th century, oil on canvas, Pinacoteca Brera, Italy. Wikimedia Commons. 

Early Christian Painter (Italian), Christ Between Saints Peter and Paul, 1st Century A.D. fresco, Catacombs of Marcellinus and Peter, Rome. Web Gallery of Art.

Pietro di Domenico da Siena, Madonna and Child with Saints Peter and Paul, late fifteenth/early sixteenth century, tempera on panel, private collection. Web Gallery of Art. 

Giovanni Serodine, Parting of Saints Peter and Paul Led to Martyrdom, 1625-1626, oil on canvas, Galleria Nazionale d’Arte Antica, Rome. 

References: 

The Catholic News Agency Website. 

Understanding Theology Website.

[surviveanyemergency]

I find it astounding that almost everything in Western culture points to the life of Jesus.

One of the things that surprises me the most is how much our culture points to Jesus. From paintings, sculptures, and music to architecture, everything seems to speak of Jesus' story. I often think it's no coincidence that so many fantastic works of Western civilization were created during the Renaissance--a time when Europe rediscovered its Christian roots. Our culture seems to be trying to tell us something all along: that Jesus is the key to understanding who we are and what we're meant to become.

How Western Culture Points to Jesus

Jesus has been a central figure in shaping Western thought and culture for thousands of years. His influence can be seen in modern society, where He's profoundly influenced the art and literature from the Renaissance. Even up to the present day, Jesus' history continues to play an important role in our culture, shaping it for the better. Here are just a few examples:

Christmastime is usually a time of celebration, which can range from joy to sadness depending on the individual.

There is a democratic tradition that exists in Western societies. Early Christians, like Augustine of Hippo, championed it because they believed it would allow everyone to have a say in the way they were governed.

Yesterday's news articles all relied on the principle that all humans are created equal and deserve dignity and respect.

Many of the world's greatest artists, writers and musicians have been inspired by their faith to create pieces that show religious themes or come from the Bible.

Churches have always been an important part of many people's lives, providing a sense of community and support while teaching participants about Christianity's rich history and culture.

"Jesus of Nazareth and other parts of the world"

No man has had as much influence on the course of history than Jesus of Nazareth. Born in humble circumstances, he was raised in the backwoods of Galilee and worked as a carpenter until he was about 30 years old. At that point, for reasons which are not fully understood, he embarked on a public career as a preacher and miracle worker. However, during only three years, his following grew from a few dozen followers to a movement with dozens of thousands!

Why were people so interested in Jesus? Certainly not for his looks. He was average looking, nothing special. And his messages were simple and straightforward- love God, and love one another. What was the fascination with him then?

It was Jesus' integrity that led him to do the right thing and be completely dedicated in his mission. Even when it meant he had to sacrifice his life, he never wavered or turned out any other way.

It's possible it was His compassion. At a time in which society marginalized the poor, the sick and the outcast, Jesus reached out to them with love and understanding. He showed us that everyone is precious in the eyes of God.

It's undeniable that Jesus changed the world. His teachings have shaped our laws and morality, and his life gave hope to people who are hurting. Two thousand years after his death, he continues to speak to us through people's lives who continue to live according to his teachings.

The influence of Jesus in the arts

In the Western world, it is nearly impossible to overstate the influence of Jesus in the arts. From the great cathedrals and paintings of the Renaissance to modern masterpieces like The Passion of the Christ, the life and message of Jesus has inspired some of the most significant works of art in history.

By the time they were done painting, even secular artists like Leonardo da Vinci were not able to help but be influenced by Jesus. His most famous paintings, The Last Supper, offers themes of sacrifice and redemption that continue to resonate with viewers today.

Known for its profound artistic impact, the life of Jesus continues to inspire many people. As we confront our own mortality and look for meaning in a sometimes frustrating world, it is no wonder that we turn to the one who represents hope, love, and salvation--Jesus.

This paper discusses Jesus's influence on philosophy and thought.

It's impossible to overstate how influential Jesus has been throughout history. It's important to understand the impact he had on philosophy and thought, inspiring some of the greatest minds in Western culture. His example continues to challenge and shape the way we think about the world today.

Jesus was a man who lived in a very specific time and place, but his message is universal. He spoke about love, forgiveness, compassion and hope. These messages are just as important today as they were two thousand years ago. His teachings have been interpreted in myriad ways throughout the centuries, but the core message remains the same: We should treat others with kindness and respect, no matter who they are or what they have done.

In addition to his philosophical impact, Jesus also had a profound effect on the development of Western art, literature, and music. For centuries, artists have used their work to express their religious beliefs. Many of them were moved by the life of Jesus. Michelangelo’s Pietà or Handel’s Messiah are just two examples of an artist's faith in Jesus inspiring their work.

One way to see the Bible's influence is in literature. This influential book has been retold countless times through different mediums, which makes it one of the best-selling books ever. The New Testament story of Julius Caesar influenced William Shakespeare heavily during his writing career. Other great writers like John Milton and C.S. Lewis have also been influenced by the Bible--especially their writings on Christian themes, such as "Paradise Lost" and "The Chronicles of Narnia."

Following the legacy of Jesus in literature

It's amazing how many of the greatest works of Western literature reference the life of Jesus. From epic poems by Homer and Virgil to plays by Shakespeare and Moliere, from King Arthur stories to Russian novels, from Dante and Milton's poems to Dostoevsky - so much of Western literature is tied to Jesus.

In each work there are elements that reflect some aspect of Jesus's life or teachings. For example, we see his heroic self-sacrifice in Achilles' willingness to fight even though he knows he will die; his compassion in Aeneas' care for his wounded friend; and his forgiveness in Prospero's willingness to forgive those who have wronged him.

This is just a small example of how pervasive Jesus' legacy has been. The impact he had on Western literature is unbelievable. It's a testament to how important he is to our culture and society today.

Jesus and Christianity in Western culture

Jesus, the "original rockstar," has been an enduring fascination of Western culture. From art, literature, and music to food and architecture, there's a rich legacy that can be seen all around us today thanks to his life and his teachings centuries ago.

Christianity has been one of the most influential religions in Western society. With over 1.2 billion followers worldwide, Christianity is the largest faith on Earth. There are an estimated 175 million Christians in America alone, and though it has originated from Western culture, Christianity has dramatically shaped every aspect of Western life—especially our values and beliefs.

Jesus has had a significant impact on Western art and literature. Some of the most memorable pieces of art and fiction in history are based on his life and teachings. All throughout history, artists have been inspired by Jesus, who's been an ongoing source of inspiration for writers as well.

The influences of Christ are seen in both Western music and architecture. Some of the most great composers, musicians, and architects were undoubtedly influenced by Jesus while creating their pieces because they are so beautiful. Architecture is a big part of this too: many of the most stunning buildings on earth were inspired by Jesus himself.

The influence of Jesus on Western culture cannot be denied. He shaped our values and beliefs, influenced art and literature, and impacted music and architecture. We owe a lot of what we are to his legacy.

I hope this article has been of some use to you.

My conclusion is that, in nearly every work of literature and art, people have pointed to the life of Jesus. From great architecture and music to inspiring lectures, Christianity has a profound impact on Western society. His teachings have influenced our morals and attitudes, leading us to be better people. I am grateful for all Christian contributions to our world, and I hope we can continue to learn from him.

[myzooalexwhite]

Since Sir Stamford Raffles founded ZSL in 1826, there have been many achievements at ZSL London Zoo and ZSL Whipsnade Zoo, as well as in our conservation work in the wild.

1826

The Zoological Society of London (ZSL) founded by Sir Thomas Stamford Raffles.

1828

London Zoo opened to Fellows of the Society, and to the public with a written 'order' from a Fellow and payment of 1 shilling.

Lady Raffles elected first woman Fellow.

1829

The Zoological Society of London granted a Royal Charter by King George IV.  

1830

Scientific Meetings started. First issue of the Proceedings of the Zoological Society published.

1831

Royal animal collection from the Tower of London presented to ZSL.

1835

Chimpanzee exhibited at London Zoo for the first time.

1837

Charles Darwin became a Fellow of ZSL.

1847

Public admitted to London Zoo without an 'order' from a Fellow.

1849

World's first Reptile House opened at London Zoo.

1850

Arrival of the hippopotamus Obaysch - the first living hippo to be seen in Europe since Roman times.

1853

First ever public Aquarium opened at London Zoo.

1865

Jumbo, the first African elephant seen alive in England, received from Paris.

1881

World's first Insect House opened at London Zoo.

1914

Winnie the bear deposited at London Zoo. She was the inspiration for 'Winnie-the-pooh'.

1916

Evelyn Cheesman appointed Assistant Curator of Insects, the first woman in a curatorial post at ZSL.

1926

As the twentieth century dawned the need to keep and study large animals in more natural surroundings became apparent. Sir Peter Chalmers Mitchell (ZSL Secretary 1903-35) envisaged a new park no more than 70 miles from London, over 200 acres in size and easily accessible to the visiting public. In 1926 an ideal site was found, derelict Hall Farm, near Whipsnade village, nearly 600 acres on the Chiltern Downs. ZSL purchased the farm in December 1926 for £13,480 12s 10d.

1928

The first animals arrived at Whipsnade Wild Animal Park - two Amherst pheasants, a golden pheasant and five red jungle fowl. Others soon followed including muntjac, llama, wombats and skunks.

1931

Whipsnade Wild Animal Park opened - the world's first open zoological park.

1938

Children's Zoo opened at London Zoo.

1939

Start of Second World War. The Giant pandas, elephants and rhinos were sent to Whipsnade. London Zoo closed briefly from 3-9 September, but remained open throughout the rest of the War.

1947

Guy the gorilla arrived at London Zoo.

1960 and 1961

The Institute of Zoology is established. Lord Zuckerman, then Secretary of ZSL, raised funds from two medical foundations to found laboratories where scientists would be employed by ZSL and undertake research.

1962

'Caroline' an Arabian oryx is lent to the world herd in Phoenix, Arizona, the first international co-operative breeding programme.

1965

Nuffield Institute opened by Prince Philip.

Snowdon Aviary (designed by Lord Snowdon) opened.

Casson Elephant House opened.

Goldie the golden eagle escapes twice, causing much excitement and publicity.

1967

Clore Pavilion for Small Mammals opened by the Queen and Prince Philip.

Pipaluk the polar bear born.

Whipsnade bred the first cheetahs born in Europe.

1968

Visitors no longer allowed to feed the animals.

1970

Herd of white rhinos brought to Whipsnade, as a result of an agreement with the Natal Parks Board, who had raised white rhino from near extinction. They thought it would help the conservation effort if there were breeding groups outside Africa as well.

1971

Emperor of Japan visited Regent’s Park and was made an Honorary Fellow.

1972

Sobell Pavilion for Apes and Monkeys opened by Prince Philip.

1974

Arrival of giant pandas Ching-Ching and Chia-Chia.

1976

New Lion Terraces opened by the Queen.

1981

Whipsnade celebrated its 50th anniversary.

1986

ZSL co-ordinates the release of Pere David's deer in Da Feng, China. The release includes deer bred at Whipsnade.

1990

The Queen and Prince Philip visited the Zoo. Prince William visited the Insect House, followed by the Prince and Princess of Wales.

1992

ZSL Council decided to close London Zoo as it was losing money. The Emir of Kuwait then donated one million pounds, prompting the Zoo to remain open.

At Whipsnade the ‘Africa’ and ‘Passage through Asia’ exhibits proved successful.

1995

New Royal Charter granted to ZSL by the Privy Council.

Ambika Paul Children’s Zoo built using a one million pound donation from Dr Swarj Paul in memory of his daughter.

One hundred sand gazelles released in to the Empty Quarter, Saudi Arabia.

1997

His Royal Highness the Duke of Edinburgh opened Whipsnade's new Elephant House.

1998

Four thousand British field crickets were released into southern England; the biggest ever of a captive bred animal.

1999

Her Majesty the Queen and His Royal Highness the Duke of Edinburgh, officially opened the Millennium Conservation Centre, which houses BUGS, the biodiversity exhibition.

ZSL launched its first website.

2001

ZSL celebrated 175 year and Whipsnade Zoo celebrated 80 year anniversaries.

2004

Komodo Island of Dragons enclosure opened by Sir David Attenborough.

Meet the Monkeys walkthrough exhibit for the squirrel monkeys opened.

African Bird Safari walkthrough opened.

2006

ZSL assisted in rescuing approximately 950 exotic fish and coral illegally imported from Indonesia seized at Heathrow.

2007

Gorilla Kingdom opened at ZSL London Zoo.

EDGE of Existence programme launched, concentrating on world’s most Evolutionarily Distinct and Globally Endangered species.

2008

Blackburn Pavilion opened in March, ZSL London Zoo.

Outback exhibit opened August, ZSL London Zoo.

Opening of Rhinos of Nepal, ZSL Whipsnade Zoo.

2009

Animal Adventure opened with red pandas, aardvarks, and prairie dogs on display.

Giants of the Galapagos opened.

2010

Once thought extinct, the Horton Plains slender loris was found in Sri Lanka by ZSL, with first ever photos.

Three part ITV documentary ‘The Zoo’ was aired on prime time television.

2011

Penguin Beach opened at ZSL London Zoo - England's biggest penguin pool.

2013

Opening of Tiger Territory, a 2,500sqm (27,000sqft) enclosure for tigers that replicates their natural Indonesian habitat.

2014

Thug and Nicky, two pygmy hippos, moved into a new custom built enclosure, complete with solar panels to power their own indoor heated pools.

2015

Two brand new enclosures opened at ZSL London Zoo - In With The Lemurs and In With The Spiders, Europe's only walk through spider enclosure.

ZSL Whipsnade Zoo opened its brand new Butterfly House and a brand new Visitor Centre

2016

ZSL London Zoo opens Land of the Lions - its biggest and most breathtaking experience ever.

2017

African Hunting Dogs exhibit was opened at ZSL Whipsnade Zoo.

The Centre for Elephant Care opened at ZSL Whipsnade Zoo.

Jimmy and Yoda move into the new Gibbons enclosure at ZSL London Zoo.

https://www.zsl.org/about-us/landmarks-in-zsl-history

[universityoferror-blog]

A NEW WRONG ORDER is a compilation of volumes on erratic tracks and audio cracks collected by guests around the world. A celebration of the accident; the sound of failure...

A NEW WRONG ORDER Vol.VI by ALEX SILVA

(español abajo después del tracklist)

A NEW WRONG ORDER Vol.VI / €??0? by Alex Silva

For many centuries, in the European musical culture there are rules and guidelines for composers, the so-called classical music. My beginnings in music were linked to punk, in fact I had a project (that has never come to light) called "proyectoerror", so the idea of discovering something totally new as a result of a "mistake" and observe it, fascinates me . When I finish a piece it is because I see in it a component of nature, of spirituality, something not perfect but with character, of something possibly seen as an error but interesting, of a unique time fraction...

That is how I make music right now, many times I start writing music and when I get bored I try to make mistakes consciously (either on rhythm, texture or form). I also work a lot with modular synthesizers (and applied software) in which there are innumerable functions and parameters to decompensate the perfection of sound waves or physical and mathematical commands that control sound, rhythm, melody...

When Pablo invited me to do a mixtape for A New Wrong Order, the first thing that came to my mind was to make a mix with raw electronic noisey sounds (which I think would be interesting), but I wanted to vary between styles and show a vision of pieces within a certain margin of error in textures and musical forms.

I include in it classics by Steve Reich (US), Todd Terje (NW) or Alva Noto (GER). Some abstract pieces by Aphex Twin (UK), Tom Boram (US) or Foodman (JP), and new composers such as Patrick McMinn (US) - who publishes cassette in Canadian Duck Tapes-, Smax (Pakistan) ... or precious songs by Suzanne Kraft (US) and Bullion (UK), but all of them with a non-perfect theme that in my opinion, is the basis of their identity."

Alex Silva

Patrick McMinn "Day10" (Canadian Duck Tapes 2017) Lee Gamble "DTI" (PAN, 2012) Steve Reich "Tellihim" (ECM 1982) Oneohtrix Point Never "Describing Bodies" (Editions Mego, 2010) Craig Leon "She wears an hemispherical skull cap" (Takoma, 1981) Aphex Twin "Track16" (Mt Fuji Tape Warp 2017) Sculpture "Hackle Scam Populator" (Software 2012) Suzzanne Kraft "VI" (Running Back, 2013) Patrick McMinn "Day 12" (Canadian Duck Tapes 2017) Tom Boram "Track 3" (Ultra Violet Light 2016) James Ferraro "Sim" (Hippos in tanks, 2011) Foodman "Kiki" (Orange Milk, 2015) Pierre Moerlen "Arabesque Intro" (Arista 1979) Smax "Aslam Bahi" (Hidden Waves 2017) Todd Terje "Myggsommer" (Small Town Supersound, 2012) Patrick McMinn "Day 13" (Canadian Duck Tapes 2017) Alex Silva "NMS" (Unreleased) Alex Silva "String Theories" (Canadian Duck Tapes 2017) Bullion "Make a new mistake" (Deek Recordings, 2016) Alva Noto "Haloid Xerrox copy 1" (Raster Noton, 2007)

___________________________________

“El error, cuando no se habla de matemática, es subjetivo. El desorden y kaos también. El error es natural, es lo que caracteriza y da sentido a las cosas. Es el principio del descubrimiento en algún modo. El mecanismo de clasificación de nuestro cerebro está muy desarrollado y cuando recibimos algo que no está en nuestra clasificación nos produce un estado de perturbación. A algunas personas les pondrá de los nervios y otras simplemente observarán y harán de estos errores o equivocaciones su gusto, su experiencia vital o su personalidad.

En la cultura musical europea desde hace muchos siglos hay reglas y pautas para compositores, la llamada música clásica. Mis comienzos en música estuvieron ligados al punk, y de hecho tenia un proyecto (que nunca ha salido a la luz) llamado "proyectoerror", por lo que el tema de descubrir algo totalmente nuevo a raíz de una "equivocación" y observarlo, me apasiona. Cuando termino una pieza es porque veo en ella un componente de naturaleza, de espiritualidad, de algo no perfecto pero con carácter, de algo posiblemente visto como error pero interesante, de una fracción temporal irrepetible…

Es como hago música ahora mismo, me explico: muchas veces me pongo a escribir música y cuando me aburre intento hacer errores conscientemente (ya sean ritmicos, de textura o forma). También trabajo mucho con sintetizadores modulares (y software aplicado) en el que existen innumerables funciones y parámetros para descompensar la perfección de ondas sonoras u ordenes físicas y matemáticas que controlen el sonido, ritmo, melodía…

Cuando Pablo me encargo el mixtape para A New Wrong Order lo primero que me vino a la cabeza fue hacer un mix con sonidos crudos electrónicos ruidistas (que creo que sería interesante), pero creí más conveniente variar entre estilos y mostrar una selección de piezas con cierto margen de error en texturas y formas musicales.

En ella incluyo clásicos de Steve Reich (US), Todd Terje (NW) o Alva Noto (GER). Algunas piezas abstractas de Aphex Twin (UK), Tom Boram (US) o Foodman (JP), y de nuevos compositores como Patrick McMinn (US) -que edita cassette en Canadian Duck Tapes-, Smax (Pakistan)… o canciones preciosistas de Suzanne Kraft (US) y Bullion (UK), pero todas ellas con una temática no perfecta que en mi opinión es la base de su identidad."

Alex Silva

Follow Alex Silva Soundcloud   Canadian Duck Tapes

[thievinghippo]

31 Days of DA - Introduce your Inquisitor

The one, the only, Bethroot Cadash

She has a ridiculous name and she knows it. Her mother thought she was giving her daughter a human name like Violet or Daisy. Instead, she was Bethroot

When Bethroot was 18 years old, she and her boyfriend, Lantos made a lyrium deal with some Templars and tried to keep the Dasher out of it. He found out anyway. Bethroot was beaten and tied to a chair. When Lantos was given the option of keeping the money and staying in the Dasher's good will by giving Bethroot a Glasgow smile, he did so immediately Thankfully, the Dasher only required half the smile before forgiving them both

For the next six years, Bethroot mainly worked on lyrium deals in Orzammar, becoming quite friendly with some of the nobles there. (She had a brief fling with King Bhalen before the Conclave)

Then she was sent to the Conclave and her life changed forever. Given the chance not to be a criminal for the first time in her life, she grabbed onto it with both hands. She tried to do as much good as possible, throughout Ferelden and Orlais

And then she fell in love with Blackwall. She thought they would only have a few years together because of the Calling, so she didn't truly mind the revelation of his past. After all, if she's able to reinvent herself as the Inquisitor, why shouldn't Blackwall?

After Trespasser, Bethroot and Thom Rainier traveled around all of known Thedas. While visiting Orzammar, they met a middle-aged cook named Edda in prison for stealing (she was giving food away to the the casteless). That brief encounter quite possibly changed the world

At the time of VG, Bethroot is 36 years old and she and Blackwall have a three-year-old daughter named Anise. Carrying a half-dwarf was very hard on Bethroot, so they know Anise will be an only child

After that? We'll have to wait and see!

Important Links

#bethroot cadash

#otp: I can breathe again

Bethroot on YouTube

Bethroot on Ao3

artists are mauvaise-reputation, theironbullofficial, snuffes, and baewall

[tilleyanddel-blog]

Hey, it's May and I'm Fundraising for "HEART 'n' SOUL's~ BIG 30 PROJECT"! X

'Del' (THE PATCHWORK PIGGIE!) and I are doing a 9 MILE WALK together in just two weeks time, on Sunday 14TH May, to raise much needed Funds for an EXTRAORDINARY SMALL CHARITY by the name of "HEART 'n' SOUL"! If YOU would like to help by SPONSORING US then please click on this Link:~ http://www.justgiving.com/tilley-milburn , and give whatever you possibly can, EVERY PENNY WILL HELP US SMASH OUR £600 TARGET (we're almost there!)! I'll let my knowledgeable Swine Friend tell you more.......................... Me and my Owner ave been at “HEART 'n’ SOUL” quite some time, since 2010, I’ve been living wiver even longer, since 2004, it’s not been easy, I can tell you! I never new I’d end up in London, in Malta, Glasgow, Edinburgh, IT’s CRAZY REALLY! Now I think I’m so much betta than 'Peppa’ an 'Miss Piggy’, I mean, look at my Eyelashes and Patches, I sing much betta too! I used to ave a curly tail an then it went floppy an straight, wiv bells on thee end! EVERYONE LOVES ME! I MAKE PEOPLE FEEL GOOD! I’ve helped my Owner overcome so much! They’ve got nothin on me! 'Del' the Piggie’s gonna tell you a lil bout “Heart 'n’ Soul”, bout da “BIG 30”, wiv an EXTRA SPECIAL ARCHIVE FEATURING ME of course! First of all, if you’ve not heard of “Heart 'n’ Soul” den poor you, where’ve you been all this time, d'you know dat they’ve been goin for over 30 YEARS?!?! Honestly, it’s been DAT LONG! They don’t see what’s wrong in people, they don’t think it’s strange dat my Owner needs me an carries me around everywhere! I LOVE MY OWNER (although she drives me mad!) AN I LOVE THEM, THEY LOVE ME, THEY LOVE MY OWNER! THEY’VE GIVEN HER DA CONFIDENCE TO TRY NEW TINGS AN SOMETIMES I GET A DAY OFF AS SHE DOES NOT NEED ME QUITE SO MUCH! My Owner’s ASPERGERS is understood as an ACCESS NEED, nuttin more or less, it’s NEVER BEEN A BARRIER TO PERFORMING! SHE CAN GET EVER SO ANXIOUS, USUALLY, BUT WIV PERFORMING SHE’s DOING WHAT SHE LOVES, an what SHE’s BEST AT! FORGET TRUFFLING, PERFORMING IS MY FIRST LOVE TOO, END OF! Gettin back to “BIG 30”, we ave been planning, in an out of Meetings, Training, Interviewing (an we ave been Interviewed!), Recording, posing for Photographs on an old Red 'RT’ Bus in Purfleet, “PUFFING & WOOLING”, playing wiv Bubbles an Dancing wiv Maracas, so many things we’ve done since before Christmas ~ ALL FOR DA “BIG 30”! AS A MASSIVE CELEBRATION OF WORKING SUCCESSFULLY, NURTURING TALENTS (LIKE MY OWNER’s!) AN BROADENING HORIZONS, THE WHOLE “BIG 30” PROJECT IS LIKE A MIX OF “DIS IS YOUR LIFE”, ALL DAT’s GREAT ABOUT DA “BOC” (A FREE AN INCLUSIVE CLUB NIGHT AT DA 'ROYAL FESTIVAL HALL’!) AND DA “ROYAL VARIETY” SHOW ~ YOU NEED TO SEE IT TO BELIEVE IT, TRUST ME I’M A PIG TELLER! "Right, that’s quite enough from you now 'Del’, THANK YOU FOR THAT er BRIEF INTRODUCTION, that’s not really told anyone anything! Ah Yes!” You see, the “BIG 30” incorporates, amongst other things, A "BIG 30 ARCHIVE” (“HEART 'n’ SOUL’s” VERY OWN!) which will not be too dissimilar to what I have been doing with my dear old 'NANNY HIPPO’ (I shall talk about this next time!), but on a very much larger scale. A Team of six Trained Interviewers (including 'Del’ & I!) have been making (mainly) Audio Recordings of over thirty individuals/groups (with/without Disabilities!) who have been involved with the Charity in some capacity, since it first began in 1986. From Artists to Volunteers and Trustees to Parent/Carers, EVERYONE’s EXPRESSED THEMSELVES IN THEIR OWN UNIQUE WAYS, sharing stories of annoying “Eastenders” Stars and Filming “ROAD TRIP”, to feeling safe and included at “DYOT” (an accessible place for 10-25yr olds to come and explore their creativity!). To say that this has been a fascinating, humbling and memorable experience is the understatement of the millennium, being on both sides we could really understand what it meant to be given THE OPPORTUNITY TO HAVE A VOICE AND BE TRUE TO ONESELF! Coupled with STUNNING PROFESSIONAL PORTRAIT PHOTOGRAPHS, this Archive will eventually have a PERMANENT RESIDENCE AT THE 'LONDON METROPOLITAN ARCHIVES’, but not before parts of it have been displayed at 'GOLDSMITHS UNIVERSITY OF LONDON’, 'LEWISHAM LIBRARY’ and various places around DEPTFORD (including 'THE ALBANY’, where "Heart 'n’ Soul” are based!)! The “BIG 30 SUMMER TAKEOVER (FESTIVAL)” will kick-off with “THE SQUIDZ CLUB” (a vibrant and inclusive Club Night for young people aged 10-25yrs & their Parents/Carers!) on Friday 16TH June and close with the “HEART 'n’ SOUL DJ’s” spinning (& mixing!) their Tracks at the 'SOUTH BANK CENTRE’ on Sunday 6TH, 13TH & 20TH August! In between those Dates, there is a whole lot more happening throughout the month of JULY, with the “BIG 30 (ART) INSTALLATION” inspired by and containing sections of the “BIG 30 ARCHIVE”, to DJ’s and LIVE MUSIC/ENTERTAINMENT! To find out more, follow this Link to the EXTRA SPECIAL "BIG 30" WEBSITE:~ https://www.thebig30.com , and ENJOY A FEAST OF COLOUR, HERITAGE AND FUN! Please save Thursday 13TH July in your Calendars/Diaries (unless you’re anything like me and hate using them!), if you possibly can, and get in the mood for “GOOD TIMES”, a Concert Produced/Presented by “HEART 'n’ SOUL” in order to CELEBRATE THIRTY YEARS OF CULTURE, DIVERSITY, CREATIVITY, PASSION, MUSIC AND THE INCREDIBLE LIVES OF EVERYONE INVOLVED! 'DEL’ (THE PIGGIE) AND I WILL BE PERFORMING A FEW CLASSIC “HEART 'n’ SOUL” SONGS (AS A MEDLEY!), PLUS A NEW SONG OR TWO, THROWN IN FOR GOOD MEASURE! There will be many POPULAR “HEART 'n’ SOUL” ARTISTS/MUSICIANS on the Bill, with Balladeer-Extraordinaire 'PINO FRUMIENTO’ (HE FOUNDED THE ORGANISATION IN 1986, WITH 'MARK WILLIAMS’!), Experienced Soul Diva Supreme 'LIZZIE EMMEH’ and a selection of TOTALLY FAB BANDS from the Lively, Young & Digital “ELECTRIC FIRE” to those who are far “TOO HOT FOR CANDY”, and there’s nothing Fishy at all about “THE FISH POLICE”, who are amongst “HEART 'n’ SOUL’s” MOST ORIGINAL AND SUCCESSFUL OF ARTISTS/BANDS! TO MISS IT WILL BE A CRYING SHAME, IT’s GONNA BE THE COOLEST NIGHT OF 2017!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! REMEMBER, here's the Link to OUR "JUST GIVING" FUNDRAISING PAGE:~ https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/tilley-milburn, if you are still interested in SPONSORING A CRAZY PIG (& HER SLIGHTLY LESS CRAZY OWNER?!) FOR THE "BIG 30" PROJECT, CELEBRATING 30 YEARS OF "HEART 'n' SOUL" AND LEARNING DISABILITY (ARTS) CULTURE!.......................................... XxXx XxXx XxXx XxXx XxXx XxXx XxXx XxXx X

[coolinaustin]

SX Shortlist: Free Party Highlights for Wednesday, March 15

Here are our picks of the best free parties for Wednesday! If you’ve been slacking on your RSVPs, make sure to check out our full list of recommendations for the week on the SXSW tab at the top of this page. Hit us up on Twitter for even more updates from the field, and check back for party highlights each day of the fest. Have fun out there!

Now that Music is in full swing, make sure to check out detailed band lineups each day at Showlist Austin and Mxdwn. The folks at Keegan’s List, FSG, ATX Concert, and OpenBarATX have the scoop on all the free parties.

Independence & Lagunitas Present Austin BugOut 11am-5pm • Scoot Inn, 1308 East 4th St. • RSVP required Complimentary beer and bands at a cool eastside venue. Today’s artists include Sylvan Esso, Bleached, Hippo Campus, Paul Thorn & The McCrary Sisters, and The Shelters. The line to get in will definitely stack up, so you know what to do. https://www.eventbrite.com/e/independence-lagunitas-present-austin-bugout-tickets-29996683889

NoiseTrade & PledgeMusic Present: The CLIF Bar Bash 11:30am-6pm • The Blackheart, 86 Rainey Street • RSVP requested Nice little two-day music bash in a cozy venue on Rainey. Today’s artists include Jeremy Messersmith, The Dig, White Reaper, Adam Torres, The Secret Sisters, and many others. http://2017.do512.com/theclifbarbashdaytwo2017

Dream House ATX Presents: Tell Me I Can't: A Badass Backyard Show Noon–10pm • 1172 Angelina St. • No RSVP! Free Tito's Vodka, Lone Star Beer, Lone Pint Brewery, Kickin' Kombucha, and Topo Chico Agua Mineral. And free tacos! http://2017.do512.com/tellmeicant2017

Splendour in the Grass + Falls Festival SXSW Party 2017 Noon–6pm • The Sidewinder, 715 Red River St. • No RSVP! This should be a good one – we especially love the Aussie acts, Hockey Dad (1pm) and Tkay Maidza (4pm). https://www.facebook.com/events/1447377901941967/

Melogold & The Circus on the Moon Present: The House Party Noon–11pm • 1608 E. 4th St. (between Comal + Concho) • RSVP requested Free Tito's Vodka while it lasts. Music by a bunch of crazy characters including our old pal Terror Pigeon. http://2017.do512.com/thehouseparty2017

TuneIn Studios: Live Daytime Broadcasts + Happy Hour Noon–6pm • Easy Tiger, 709 E. 6th St. • RSVP required Live podcast recordings. Happy Hour from 4-6pm with free beer and food. http://2017.do512.com/tuneindayone2017

Power to the People: Official SXSW Party with ESPN's Chris Fowler 1-5pm • Chateau Bellevue, 708 San Antonio St. • RSVP required Open bar, free food, and swag. https://www.eventbrite.com/e/power-to-the-people-official-sxsw-party-with-espns-chris-fowler-tickets-32296224878

Mazda Studio at Empire: Stereogum Day Party Noon–5pm • Empire Control Room, 606 East 7th St. • RSVP required Music by Tkay Maidza (1pm) Hand Habits (2pm), Jamila Woods (3pm), and New Pornographers (4pm). https://mazdastudio.splashthat.com/

South By San Jose Noon-? • Hotel San Jose, 1316 S. Congress Ave. • No RSVP! Today’s lineup: Barbara Lynn, Sara Watkins, Chastity Belt, Allison Crutchfield, Jay Som, The Dove and The Wolf, and Emily Gimble. http://www.sanjosehotel.com/events/south-x-san-jose/

The Bay Area Showcase, Presented by Balanced Breakfast Noon-6pm • Jackalope, 404 E. 6th St. • RSVP requested Bands n’ beers (which may be free if you catch them at the right time, if previous years are any indication). Today’s performers include MC LARS, Planet Booty, Everyone is Dirty, and others. https://www.eventbrite.com/e/the-bay-area-showcase-day-1-presented-by-balanced-breakfast-during-sxsw-tickets-31187392330

Waterloo Records Day Party Noon–6pm • Waterloo Records, 6th and Lamar • No RSVP! Four-day event with free parking lot shows and autograph signings. Today we’ve got Hurray for the Riff Raff (noon), Robyn Hitchcock & Emma Swift (2pm), Modern English (3pm), Gabriel Garzon Montano (4pm), Jo Jo (5pm), and Nick Grant (6pm). http://2017.do512.com/waterloorecordsdaypartydayone2017

House of Vans: Wonderful Union and Sound on Sound Fest present: Eventbrite Venue SXSW Launch Party Noon–6pm • Mohawk, 912 Red River St. • No RSVP required for day shows (nights are badge-only) Ever-popular day show with standouts including The Octopus Project (12:30pm), Black Lips (3:30pm), and Frankie Rose (5pm). It’ll hit capacity by the time Black Lips go on, so plan accordingly. http://www.vans.com/house-of-vans/event-detail/hov-sxsw.html

Feed The Beat, presented by Taco Bell and Culture Collide Noon-2am • Lustre Pearl, 97 Rainey St. • RSVP required Probably some free tacos. Bands include Maybird (1pm), The Big Moon (2pm), Mondo Cozmo (3pm), San Fermin (4pm), Jay Som (5pm), and Lewis Del Mar (6pm). Night shows will likely be badge-only. http://www.culturecollide.com/feedthebeat

AdHoc Unofficial SxSW Showcase Noon–6pm • Cheer Up Charlie's, 900 Red River St. • RSVP requested Music by Girlpool, Merchandise, Aldous Harding, Forth Wanderers, Pill, Tim Darcy, Snail Mail, Tredici Bacci, Jay Som, Flasher, Palm, and Lomelda. https://www.ticketfly.com/purchase/event/1441657

Dr. Martens Presents COLLiDE @ Container Bar Noon–7pm • Container Bar, 90 Rainey St. • RSVP required Three days of music. Today’s day show artists include Benjamin Booker, Nick Waterhouse, The Regrettes, Diamond Thug, Rolling Blackouts Coastal Fever, and Diet Cig. The night party is badge-only. http://www.culturecollide.com/containerbar2017

Dutch Impact Party SXSW 2017 Noon-8:30pm • Swan Dive, 615 Red River St. • RSVP requested Afternoon showcase with some cool Dutch bands. Badges/wristbands get priority entry. https://www.eventbrite.com/e/dutch-impact-party-sxsw-2017-tickets-32008793162

UO Live in Austin Noon–8pm • Space 24 Twenty / Urban Outfitters, 2420 Guadalupe St. • No RSVP! Urban Outfitters always lands some fun buzzy lineups at these shows north of downtown on the UT Drag. Today’s slate features Hoops (noon), Slow Dancer (1pm), Savoy Motel (2pm), Diet Cig (3pm), Alex Cameron (4pm), Minus the Bear (5pm), and Kodie Shane (7pm). http://www.uospaces.com/24twenty/en/austin-tx

Get Buzzzed Noon–11pm • Brew Exchange, 706 West 6th St. • RSVP requested Four days of up-and-coming bands. For VIP entry, click “Have a password?” and use the password BB2017. Some highlights today include Birthday (3pm) and Her’s (3:30pm). https://nightout.com/events/get-buzzzed-2017-sxsw/tickets

Pandora at SXSW 2017 1–6pm / 8pm–midnight • Gatsby, 708 E. 6th St. • RSVP required Today’s afternoon lineup includes Low Cut Connie, The Lemon Twigs, Ocean Park Standoff, and The Drums. The night shows are almost always badge/wristband-only — tonight’s performers include Jain, Missio, A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie, Lewis Del Mar, Jimmy Eat World. http://pandorasxsw2017.splashthat.com/Social

StubHub Live: Sound Stage @ SXSW 1–7pm / 8pm–1am • Bangers, 79 Rainey St. • RSVP required Three days of good bands at the largest of the Rainey Street venues. Day show acts include Sundara Karma (2pm), Alex Lahey (3pm), Dams of the West (4pm), The Shelters (5pm), and Mondo Cozmo (6pm). Night shows are usually badge-only; tonight’s headliner is Sleigh Bells. http://www.culturecollide.com/stubhub2017

COLLiDE at Bar 96 Presented by TWIX 1–7pm / 8:30pm-midnight • Bar 96, 96 Rainey St. • RSVP required Afternoon performances by Ten Tonnes, Smoke Season, Yoke Lore, Kweku Collins, and Bridgit Mendler.  Night show will likely be badge-only, with acts including BANKS, San Fermin, and Lillie Mae. http://www.culturecollide.com/twix2017

British Music Embassy 2–6pm • Latitude 30, 512 San Jacinto Blvd. • RSVP required Fun vibes, eclectic lineups, and occasional free drinks make this four-day event one of our favorites each year. Badges get priority but it’s usually pretty easy to get in if you RSVP. http://www.ticketweb.com/event/british-music-sxsw-presents-latitude-30-tickets/7231565?pl=sxsw17

“I’m Dying Up Here” at The Showtime House, presented by Culture Collide 2pm–midnight • Clive Bar, 609 Davis St. • RSVP requested Music by Bleached, The Relationship, The Wild Reeds, and others. http://www.culturecollide.com/iduh

Cigar City Management presents Nochebuena SXSW 2017 Party 3pm-2am • Stay Gold, 1910 E Cesar Chavez St. • RSVP requested “15 bands, 11 hours, a lot of drinks.” This one should be a good afternoon and late-night option with highlights including The Undercover Dream Lovers (4:15pm), High Waisted (5pm), and Hockey Dad (6:30pm). http://www.cigarcitymanagement.com/sxsw/

Recharge Oasis | Investing in Startups Cocktail Hour 4-6pm • WeWork Congress, 600 Congress, 16th Floor Terrace • RSVP required Rooftop happy hour with cocktails. https://investinginstartupscocktailhou.splashthat.com/

Local & Vocal 4-11pm • Zen Fit, 2200 E. 7th St. • RSVP requested Free drinks and music by Austin bands and DJs. https://www.eventbrite.com/e/local-vocal-tickets-32300005185

Celebration By Beardbrand 6-11pm • Rattle Inn, 610 Nueces St. • RSVP requested “Killer bands, cool people and giveaways.” Get your face rocked by Austin’s own A Giant Dog. http://2017.do512.com/cxbb2017

The Scoot Inn Presents … 6:30pm–midnight • Scoot Inn, 1308 East 4th St. • RSVP requested Music by The Dig (7pm), Ecstatic Vision (8), Pinact (9), Kolars (10), and Broncho (11pm). http://2017.do512.com/thescootinnpresents2017

[tube-thoughts-blog]

Vol. 13

zero stars - terrible, 1/2 a star - dull, 1 star - folly, 1 1/2 stars - lacking, 2 stars - fair, 2 1/2 stars - decent, 3 stars - terrific

--- "Studs":

*Personality matters little to these early 1990s bimbos on this dating game show

*They want a guy with a "wild side" (code for douchebag)

*One of their potential hunks is wearing dress shirt, tie, and shorts. 90s ensemble

*The women can't decide if the second hunk is a beefcake or a 6 foot tall bowling pin

*The guy in shorts is called a mix between John Wayne and a mime. John Wayne is nothing like a mime. Stoic, maybe. John Wayne would punch out a mime, if ever bothered by one.

*Shorts hunk dissed his date because he saw his hero Bobby Brown in an elevator

*Not much else to say about these bland dates between California girls and Midwest boys

close to 2 stars

----------------

--- Tori Amos on MTV's Loveline:

*After the bummer of hearing about Tori's abuse hotline, we have a Gen X'er call in tot alk about how his girlfriend accidentally ripped out his penis piercing and he's afraid to go to the doctor

*A guy, with his back to the camera while wearing an airbrush painted t-shirt that reads: "Boo Hoo!", has a problem with his girlfriend not wanting to look at him during oral sex. I can't see his face, but I don't even want to look at him, period.

*A guy, w/ a butt-cut hairstyle and a flannel shirt, is down cause his first love "dogged" him and broke his heart after taking his cherry. Now, he can't score with new chicks.

*Tori calls him a pussy. Not really, but, basically.

*We get a pierced nipples question via 90s internet video live feed

*A guy calls in with a weird obsession about bear feet. Oh, bare feet. Well, that's not too weird. Many weirdos have that.

*Tori thinks he should work at a shoe shop. It didn't work for Al Bundy. He hates women and their feet.

*Talk about how having kids is a cockblock to getting dates

*The set for LoveLine is very 90s with a coffee shop lounge feel and couches along with a big screen that's multiple screens attached together.

*Tori doesn't want her lover thinking about the girls on "Friends" while she's making love to them.

*Tori reminds me of a psycho chick who'd try to sacrifice a dove, for some weird symbolic reason, while she was in the throes of passion.

*A girl had two affairs. One of them with an "indivijiBILL" (what it sounded like she said). Now she don't know who da baby daddy. Call Maury, in a few years, he do dem dna baby daddy tests.

*LoveLine has a cappuccino bar on the set. It's for people who are ashamed of looking at another person when talking about sex. A sort of hipster confession booth.

*One guy is nervous about his girlfriend dressing up like Wonder Woman during sex

2 stars

----------------------

--- TV CARNAGE:

*Great Acting Is Great Acting, Especially With Titties: Do you wanna see my horribly disfigured chest or not?* 2 stars

*How To Commit Social Suicide: "Be expressive and let it rip." Air piano. Not flatulence.* between 2 & 2 1/2 stars

*Microwave Brain: Hasselhoff stresses over poodle poo.* 1 star

*Mighty Fine Man: It's a lust thang.* close to 2 stars

*Shoplifting Is Fun!: Johnny 5's cousin robot is a hood.* close to 2 1/2 stars

---------------

"Dance Party USA, 1980s NEW WAVE DANCING AND HAIR!" *In the 80s, cool kids did weird things like wear their shoes on their hands.*         2 1/2 stars

Rescue 911 w/ William Shatner: Boy vs. Gasoline Volcano *The re-enactments on Rescue 911 & Unsolved Mysteries are perfect time capsules for thelate 1980s & early 1990s.* 2 1/2 stars

A Haunting: Phantom Room *"Instead of holy water, highly flammable liquid is used, and if it ignites, it's a sign that a spirit is present." Gee, I wonder if it will ignite... A junkie overdose is angry and needs to be evicted from a suburban garage. Destination America is supposed to be a postcard network for American life, I'm thinking. America, where ordinary life happenings can psych a family out so much their lives begin falling apart and they blame the results on the supernatural.* 2 stars

USA Saturday Nightmares: The Dummy (1982) *Ventriloquist dolls are creepy, but it's hard to consider them actually scary. That is unless they're sliding butcher knives underneath the bedroom door. This comes from an era of really good & inventive horror shorts.*                         between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

Ripley's Believe It Or Not!: episode 2 (1985) *Surgeons remove two toes, from the feet of a Chinese man, fitting them as a makeshift pincer in place of a missing hand. Believe that.* 2 1/2 stars

"Wild Man of Navidad" (2007) *No country for old bigfoot. Some might see the wild man itself as undercooked, but the greasy hicksploitation sticks to the ribs better'n chicken fried steak & gravy.* close to 3 stars

X Files: Roland *From beyond a cryo-frozen genius controls his autistic twin to complete his groundbreaking scientific work.* between 2 1/2 & 3 stars

--- Phone Losers:

*Politically Correct Portraits: or "wrong side first" photos.* close to 2 1/2 stars

*Bank Customers - Take A Running Jump: "If they told you to jump off a bridge" they being Bank of America and you being British or George Reeves Superman* 1 1/2 stars

*Pauly Shore Screws Up Another Vacation: MTV's The Weasel turns a pleasure cruise into a slave-ship passage for Laura Winslow & the mom from Family Matters.* close to 2 1/2 stars

*Radio Shack Prayer Is Evil: For a decade or more it's been against their religion to have any customers and they also have a do not resuscitate order upon going out of business.* 2 1/2 stars

*Yard Sale Competitor: it's a cut throat business using a $5 "as is" weed-whacker.* 3 stars

---------------

--- USA Cartoon Express, Revisited:

*The Real Ghostbusters - Citizen Ghost: I forgot that the voice of Peter Venkman, on Ghostbusters, is likely the voice of Garfield on his cartoon. Which is funny because the live action characters are voiced by the same guy, too, as we all know.

*Commercial for Crocodile Mile slip n' slide.

*Old foggies stink in an Andy Warhold art style BubbleTape commercial. Those were great.

*In a cyberpunk future tween boys battle it out with a b.b. ammo board game shooter called "Crossfire." I remember plenty of show & tell days where Crossfire was the shit.

*I like the little march the Ghostbusters do during their ticker tape parade

*Kids can't cut loose in the supermarket or the museum, but they can in this Discovery Zone kids play park commercial. Soulless corporate slime-pit, McDonald's has replaced most of these. Now, miserable single moms take their poor brats there and change their dirty diapers on the same tables kids eat their McNuggets on. Fuck society and industry.

*Get a Bart Simpson squeek toy at Burger King

*Rappin' Lego-Maniac ad

*Mouse Trap, from Milton Bradley, where a cartoon alley cat shows up to present kids with one of the most contraption filled board games ever

*An awesome ad where Jesse the body Ventura sells WWF action figures. I wish grown men were still allowed to play with action figures

*Cadillacs & Dinosaurs - Rogue: I forgot about this well animated show with some adult sensibilities that also combines two really cool things. those being the title of the show.

*Cartoon Express where Mr. T. hangs out with the Grape Ape and Pac Man

*"Your gym teacher irons his underwear" adults are weird, chew BubbleTape

*Garfield fruit snacks. You could sell anything with a cartoon spokesman and kids who pitch a fit to their parents in the grocery store if they can't have it, once they see it.

*Shout & Shoot 2 water gun helmet. Voice activated water fights. I'm sure it didn't tear up after the first day. Water and electronics go together so well... I remember when having water fights, in the backyard, seemed so important that toy companies had to keep up with the arms race we kids were racing towards.

*Barney has built a fake time machine from the year 2000 and almost tricks Fred out of his Coco Pebbles. I preferred Fruity.

*One thing missing from watching these cartoons is a bowl of Fruity Pebbles, Lucky Charms, or Cap'n Crunch beside me on the living room floor.

*Marvel's X-Men, for the Sega Genesis, "Welcome to the Next Level."

*If kids ruled the world they'd play b'ball like Michael Jordan, their big brothers would suck up to them, they'd get a billion dollars & have a sports agent, and they'd always eat at McDonalds. "Duh!"

*"In A Minute" USA Network 1989 presents kids trying out tongue twisters like "Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear..." I'm unlocking weird memories of things that I had forgotten like this cute little animated station break from USA that's somewhere in the long lost toy chest recess of my sad adult brain.

*Teenage Mutant Turtles - Enter the Rat King: If April O'Neil were real she would try to further her news career by exposing the Turtles to the world.

*Take a chill pill or stick anchioves in your ears, kids, instead of doing drugs. Partnership for a Drug Free America and stick figure drawn kids.

*2XL battery operated, cassette controlled "intelligent" 80s style robot from Tiger toy electronics. He makes Teddy Rupskin look like Neil Degrasse Tyson (whatever his name is)

*A kid with a bald spot and a beard is tired of stuffy adult dining places and demands to be taken to Chuck E. Cheese

*Dance Party USA, the weekday dance party on "America's favorite network, USA."

*The Dark Knight collection. A kid has every Batman gadget a kid could ask for and his own personal Batcave. I would have killed to have my own personal Batcave when I was 8

*"Tetris & batteries included" Gameboy. Cool teens hanging out in shop class, on the basketball court, everwhere playing their handheld Nintendo "Power to go."

*Captain N, The Game Master - Metroid Sweet Metroid: N, The Game Master is a character from Nintendo's past that they'd like to forget and not celebrate. Same with Lou Albano's version of Mario and the more goofy, talking version of Link from cartoons & CDi games.

*King Hippo's nipples, Eggplant's head, and Mother Brain's lips are all very obscene looking.

*Beetlejuice action figures. Those were some of the better, more weird toys.

*Call a 1 800 number to get a 60 minute vhs tape of Bigfoot monster truck action.

*Crest "Sparklemania" obviously is putting drugs in the toothpaste, because kids are freaking out and taking magical trips through the night sky with animated globs of Crest gel.

*'Milk does a body good' ad. You know the one where the kid grows up to be buff because he or she drank milk. I wonder if they show similar ones to young cows. "Yo, I'm a calf and I'm taking govt. provided hormones so that I can grow up to be a great-big dairy cow!" That was sort of a lame joke. Almost Carlos Mencia bad.

*The Cartoon Express travels away off into the distance to Bruce Springsteen's house. No, kidding. They kept mentioning that that's where it was heading.

3 stars for the Saturday Morning cartoons, 3 stars for the retro ads, and 3 stars for USA network's Cartoon Express bumpers

-----------------------------

The Greatest American Hero: Fire Man *Everyone's favorite marinara, on the show, Michael Pare, gets put put on a hot stove for a bum wrap. The main thing that doesn't hold up, about this episode, is the very dated fire special fx.* close to 3 stars

Gerhard Reinke's America: Arizona *Painted desert highways with a pistol & a singing Billy bass GPS by Gerhard's side.* 2 stars

--- Commander USA's Groovie Movies: Man with the Synthetic Brain

*From beneath a shopping mall in New Jersey, Commander USA. HA! Great location for a hero lair in the 1980s.

*The commander comes out in a trench coat, with his costume underneath. I like it. It's a sleazy way for a hero to dress. He's always smoking a cigar, too. Nice man's man touch.

*He's talking about those hopeful, yet melancholy days after the New Year is rung in. He explains how Auld Lang Syne means 'old long since' in Irish or old English.

*After the commander uses his kazoo to open up the psychotronic movie screen, we get to our flick

*This one stars an old school horror icon, John Carradine, & a Mickey Mouse Club teen from Swiss Family Robinson

*And the groovie movie is photographed in "Chill-O-Rama"

*I know the movie will ultimately be supbar, but I still get good feelings & goose pimple giddy, with nostalgia, watching these old basic cable & UHF B movie features

*A zombie(?) chokes out a hooker(?) & her pusher(?) in an alley. Her death face was so overacted & funny to look at.

*Mickey Mouse Club guy is the detective on the case of the zombie murders. He has gotten worse, actually, as an actor since his days riding ostriches & fighting pirates on tropical islands in Swiss Family Robinson.

*He's also a part of the Danny Bonaduche class of child actors who didn't age well. He looks like he's been through hell. This is the early to mid 70s & his Disney days were just in the 60s, maybe late 50s, I'm thinking. Wow.

*There's a cryptic letter & a head in a box (a killed detective's). I'm guessing this killer is a pre-cursor to the Zodiac & Kevin Spacey in SEVEN.

*"Get your hot roasted peanuts" as a candy striped apron wearing salesman proclaims on an early 20th century hazy memory of beach life on an eastern seaboard boardwalk in a Planters honey roasted peanuts ad.

*The coo coo bird builds a time machine to steal the kids CoCo Puffs. This is the second time machine related cereal theft by cartoon spokesman commercial that I've seen in 24 hrs

*Lee Press On Nails. In 18 colors. Don't nails just make life more difficult? Even if I were a crossdresser, I wouldn't wear nails.

*An 80s mallrat girl thinks her mom was wrong about her big earrings, but mom was right about something (nervous energy) StayFree Maxi Pads for those heavy flow days. Thanks, mom. Now, stop coming in to my room to stare at my Kip Winger poster. He's my man, bitch!

*"Exorcism at Midnight" on USA Saturday Nightmares (looks awesome) & ugly as a man Sandra Bernhardt on Alfred Hitchcock Presents (would still watch it).

*There's nothing to look forward to watching on Saturday night, anymore. Svengoolie, maybe, but he plays the same tame Universal horror & Hammer horror movies that we've all seen way too many times. His act is stale too, but he's likeable, I guess, if you're a babyboom viewer.

*Sophia Loren, her story, on the Nabisco family theater Sunday afternoon on USA. No thanks. I'd leave that to the early birds. I'd still be sleeping off my USA Saturday Nightmares.

*John Carradine is a doctor under suspicion because one patient that he was the coroner over, years earlier & called one of the first casualties of Vietnam, is up & walking around again, out there, killing. It's obvious that Carradine is a mad doctor, because he has a bubbling test tube, for odd unexplained reasons, but the detective hasn't seen enough low grade sci fi & horror to know this is an ominous sign.

*Why did action or fight scenes in the 60s/70s think that karate chops to the neck were believable knock out blows? It'd be more annoying than anything. Painful, sure, but not enough to put a man down. They just look so funny.

*Gloriously unselfaware Twix commercial with a street of kids breaking into a marching band parade over Twix. Much better than the Right Twix vs. Left Twix candy factory ads of today Too self aware like most modern ad companies. It makes the product even more unlikeable

*Square 80s ladies have a roundtable discussion about "So Fine" conditioning mist

*The effects designs, on the movie, are so low budget. The Frankenstein electric chair is made of chords attached to a silver construction worker's helmet.

*Commander USA pokes fun at the mad science hat contraption during his segment.

*Computer graphics medieval dystopia commercial ends with the freedom of the mind that is an exploding volcano & the Scientology best seller ‘Dianetics.’

*Shades wearing Bears QB, McMahon, thinks he's cool, but he's a crybaby when his hoagie doesn't have Miracle Whip mayo. A janitor hears his cries and throws a hail mary of mayo.

*Fergie, Letterman, Tom Cruise, Vanna White, Dr. Seuss, Whitney Houston, Michael Jackson wearing a Groucho Marx disguise. They're all the most interesting people of 1986 according to People Magazine. Such a more innocent time. Don't forget Crocodile Dundee, he was fascinating to 80s yuppies as well. Not a joke. He's also on the cover.

*The 80s had this hazy, maudlin, feel good vibe to even Dimetapp & Metamucil ads.

*Just a sleazy undead crook strangling slutty women in seedy hotels kinda Saturday afternoon movie for the kids, you know.

*Cheerios helps a white knight save a princess from a black knight in a musical ad. Uplifting. Cheerios ads are so depressing now & always about a middle age guy's health & cholesterol.

*Nothing says Mexican like white people singing about & eating Mexican Velveeta cheese.

*’Airwolf’ is high tech & kicks butt. this was already a popular rerun show here in the mid 80s.

*An overtanned blonde bimbo shows up from France saying she heard her father speak to her telepathically while she was in a voodoo sleep trance. Her father was John Carradine & he was just murdered by a zombie. She tells this to Mickey Mouse detective while he over-acts.

*Ah, there's another mad scientist who looks like a dimestore Vincent Price. I guess they couldn't get Vincent for the flick. He's the real villain.

*Commander USA noticed the bimbo & the zombie too.

*"It's hard to hide the kid inside." Talkin' 'bout Santa & his love for oreo cookies

*The honey nut Cheerios bee almost gets murdered by cowboy Black Bart. Just wait, Bee, soon with pesticides we'll make ye extinct.

*A kid pulls home a box of Tide detergent, for mom, through a picturesque 80s suburb. More of that 80s is just like the 50s, according to tv & advertising, theme of the 80s.

*70s thought that frantically playing a pipe organ & bongos meant great suspense music. It didn't & doesn't.

*Wacky 80s robots run on ENERGIZER "It Doo Run Run Run"

*This film can't make up its mind if it wants to be a detective tale, a zombie creeper, a serial killer slasher, a mad science flick, a voodoo or telepathy thriller, a heist / crime picture, or a hostages on the road movie.*

*Commander predicts, via crystal ball, that the Red Sox will almost win the 87 world series and that Vanna White will be nominated to the Supreme Court.

*Commander had his hand pal, Lefty, rammed down his tights during the most tense scene of the movie. A snowy chase through the mountains with killer in hot pursuit.

*Carefree panty liners for a fresher zebra striped bikini

*An aged Lorne Greene talks about Ron Reagan's cutbacks to medicare & how they're costing the sick & poor elderly thousands of dollars.

*Timelapse female zombie transformation with horrid makeup, but forgivable during the finale in the mad science lab.

*Her zombie voice is laughable & terrible. Why is she even talking? zombies don't talk, well, trioxin or Return of the Living Dead ones do, but whatever, Braiiiins... She doesn't say that, but I guess she had to act. Vanity, maybe. Idiotic script, more likely.

*We end with zombie lady crying & taking an antidote while zombie henchman dies licking goo off the floor. Mickey Mouse detective was too late to make any kind of difference.

*Commander USA closes things out by teasing Mickey Mouse cop about his poor acting.

close to 2 stars for the movie, close to 2 1/2 stars for the ads, & more than 2 1/2 stars for the commander

-------------------

Look Around You: Sport *Thank you for showing us your balls. Now try to get it in the hole.* close to 2 1/2 stars

Viper: Wheels of Fire *Crooked, corporate Bryan Cranston character. A revolutionary Tesla type battery with a deadly bidding war going on for it. A reclusive Howard Hughes industrialist/inventor. Long lost prototype Batmobile style car colored fire engine red. A creepy Albino hitman.* between 2 1/2 & 3 stars

Manimal: Breath of the Dragon *Martial arts began by studying animals. Ancient man popped a National Geographic tape into his VCR to do so.* more than 2 1/2 stars

Robocop the series: Ghosts of War *A ragtag group of Universal Soldiers seek vengeance against an evil general who now works for O.C.P. They include a hobo wolfman, a black G.I. Joe (friend from Murphy's childhood), an Asian Joan of Arc, a Indian computer-wiz who dresses like Rick Moranis in Spaceballs. The show tries to force Punky Brewster into scenes, again. She's annoying & unnecessary.* 2 stars

--- Everything Is Terrible:

*Enhance Your Memory With Murderous Bloodlust: American Psycho Patrick Bateman has a poor poker face.* 3 stars

*Going For It!: Commies skateboard. So, like you want them to be more free than you, brah!? Didn't think so, dude.* close to 2 stars

*So You Moved To Paducah...: Only thing to do here is to visit the Quilters Society of America museum again & again & again.* 3 stars

*Rush Limbaugh Sure Is Funny: Comedy night at Jabba the Hutt's palace.* 1 star

*The Lil' Singing Demon Baby!: The spawn of Lucifer is a little boy version of Shirley Temple. Of course he would arrive on earth in Branson, Missouri.*              3 stars

-------------------------

Cannon group presents America 3000 (1986) *The one thing Road Warrior needed was Wonder Years style narration. I think the members of No Ma'am (Al Bundy's woman hating group) saw this movie instead of Mad Max: Fury Road. That's why they were so upset. Much more reverse sexism here.* 3 thousand stars

Rescue 911 w/ William Shatner: Softball Hit *A little girl gets a head injury, has a seizure, then precious seconds tick away in the era before cell phones because I guess there were no payphones on this little league sports field. Youth sports injuries weren't taken as serious in this era either. It was the whole "Walk it off" time period. So maybe that's why 911 wasn't called sooner.* 2 stars

--- Memory Hole:

*Death Of Strength: Guillotine of greatness, in a garage, captured on camcorder.* 1 star

*See The Macaroni: String theory or unsatisfactory service.* 2 stars

*The Ballad Of Tony Jones: "Mommy, what does doomed mean?" It means what happens when you destroy your white trash girlfriend's ceiling after sitting your fat ass in her sex swing.* 3 stars

*Piglet: You reap what you sow (noun).* close to 3 stars

*Just Do It Adult Diaper: Is that a swoosh on your bottom or do you need changing?* close to 2 stars

----------------------

--- MTV's Oddville (1997?)

*MTV had to Gen-x up Beyond Vaudeville, from its public access days, & put a pretty co-host with Frank to take the attention away from his weird, silent (often violent) sidekick.

*Nancy Giles is a nice lady, but not the most interesting guest. She's like PBS news hosts. Respectable, but not entertaining. She thinks talking about how weird the sidekick is & being a fan of Howard Stern will get her over. She does an imitation of a cat choking on a hairball. That's odd enough, I guess.

*Mr. Stanless Steel is a meathead who lifts 600lbs slightly off the ground using only one finger. Impressive, yet also idiotic.

*"Mind over matter," he says as he squeezes an unopen can to smithereens. Mind, remember, not steroids. He rocks about the floor trying to look intimidating & deep.

*Very confusing Levis jeans commercial. It starts off with a cowboy hat wearing Gen X hip dude driving the desert listening to yodeling from Mars Attacks & Slim Whitman. He stops at a local western watering hole where a hipster black dude is a turntables mixing dj. He passes him a stuffed dinosaur before the black dude gets on a greyhound leaving town. Bus stops in the big city, but a new girl gets off holding the dino. A European model looks at her as she walks on. The model is ordering a hotdog from a vendor. What any of that had to do with jeans, other than the close ups of asses, is beyond me.

*Self aware commercial whore Dennis Miller is on a fake talk show ad interviewing the cgi M&Ms. Miller lost all his Hollywood street cred when he started hangin’ out on Fox News. He doesn’t give a shit about being a shitlib so he lost his Hollywood friends.

*Epic cgi ad for the Playstation classic Final Fantasy 7.

*Phil Hartman isn't murdered yet in this college class lecture ad about collect calls.

*The clerk at Footlocker is having a hard time believing that Joe Namath is making an NFL comeback in a nike ad

*It's Virtual Insanity, the music video, when Chris Rock hosts the Video Music Awards

*I think it was the one where Puff Daddy teamed with Sting to make an annoying, overplayed song even worse.

*"The world's fastest painter" comes out & does a Bob Ross quickie while rambling in a Polish accent.

*A black guy in black & yellow stripes, including his Dr. Seuss Hat, comes out to pop & lock dance to Salt & Pepa's "Push It"

*Igia hair removal system ad where the device damages your skin cells, but it's cool 'cause no more chin whiskers for mom

*Technology... multimedia... CD-Rom software games... "You need Art Institute."

*Not Carl Winslow, but close, says "Open a box. Any box." Make it a Blockbuster Night

*"Talk to the hand." quote & hand motion from slumming it actor Timothy Dalton in a movie with Fran Drescher. The days where the general public had to endure her are long gone. Not counting easily avoided reruns of The Nanny

*On an snowy special ops mission (I'm sure those happen often) "Be all that you can be" (including maimed or killed) in the Army (after that, who knows? possibly a homeless vet)

*"What is Mtn. Dew?" from this ad, I take it has something to do with a green drink that makes you scream hysterically while performing idiotic x-treme sports

*A small woman, with a shaved head, comes out doing yoga to industrial techno. Followed by very late & nervous applause.

*A little girl comes out blowing up a balloon using only her nose.

*A generic alternative rock band, like the countless others on MTV at the time, comes out to perform. They don't hold a candle to any of the weird musical acts from the Beyond Vaudeville days.

*Guests are having a dance party. This show is as edgy, or as interesting for that matter, as Snick's "All That" of the same time period. Lame, as Gen-X would say.

*Well, MTV took a quirky public access show & stripped all the life out of it to make it another corporate product.

1 star for the Odd, 1 1/2 stars for most of the ads (thanks to M&M's & Miller), between 1 1/2 & 2 stars for the guests

----------------------

"The Summer of Rave 1989" BBC *In Margaret Thatcher's England, a new era of hippies & yuppies collide.*

3 stars

"Lost Purity" (video mixtape) *Adjust the tracking on your squeam.* between 2 1/2 & 3 stars

--- Found Footage Fest:

*Life Is For Living: Safety first or kiss leisure goodbye.* 3 stars

*Michael Finney's Spencer Gifts Speech: Hack comedy & gag novelty.* close to 3 stars

*Silent Partners - Shoplifting: If you see somebody walk into your store, become overly suspicious.* 2 1/2 stars

*VCR Games: Make haste & pray constantly that you don't have a Klingon overlord or be forced to endure Rich Little's awful family fun night comedy.* 3 stars

*Uh-Huh!: Either the Kenny Loggins or the Ray Stevens of polite Christian pop comedy & a fan of wearing tan leotards while juggling foam balls.* 3 stars

------------------------

Rescue 911 w/ Shatner: Accidental Hanging *Darwin Awards & wasting time dialing for help. Or hero boy with a hatchet.*

2 stars

A Haunting: Echoes of the Past *A New England family move into a historic Civil War era home. Soon they are bothered by faeries claiming to live in under a tree in the backyard who also claim to have died in a fire. The family are aided by a team of pretentious Wiccans in sending all the home's spirits to a magical place in the west called the "Summer Lands."* between 2 & 2 1/2 stars

Gerhard Reinke's America: Quebec, Canada *"Beaver fever, catch it." "Be patient." "My God, it's magnificent." (A platypus.)* 3 stars

Kingdom Hospital: Ep. 11 *Doctors without borders & tuned into a different frequency.* 2 1/2 stars

Farscape: Hidden Memory *Espionage & clouded minds in a Nazi style experimentation lab. Followed by a Caesarean--section for a baby battleship. Farewell to a sweet-lipped deus ex machina (sorta deus...)* close to 3 stars

Forever Knight: False Witness *Sleazier than a white lie.* 2 1/2 stars

Penn & Teller - Bullshit!: Ghostbusters *Begin by having come to a conclusion that ghosts exists no matter what you find to prove different, soak the scene with sepia or nightvision, get out the pseudo scientific gear & have it activated with its nonsensical readings of supposed supernatural phenomena, & the bullshit has long since already began.* 3 stars

Jake Byrd on Black Friday *Great deals is gravy.* close to 3 stars

Classic Comedy Central: The Buttafuoco Song *I really really wish I never heard of...* either 1 star for Joey or 3 for Comedy Central

WCW Superstars on Politically Incorrect w/ Bill Maher (1999?) *A lot of aggression taken out in a discussion forum.* either 1 star or close to 2 stars

VH1 Classic Pop Up Video: Alanis Morissette - "You Learn" *The video took 23 hours to film in 10 degree weather. The video is 4 minutes long. Her hair (dreadlocks) took 5 hours to style. A number of jacket changes were used by Alanis in the video. The theme: who knows if any of us get any wiser during the average lifetime.* 2 1/2 stars w/ pop ups 2 stars w/out (I forgot how much I like her voice, pretty face & lyrics & easy to digest, for the most part, music. Mood & opinion on her music are subject to change. I have, in the past, wanted to poke my eyeballs & eardrums out when her "Ironic" video came on MTV for the 1000th time.)

Public Access TV: "Robin's Safe Sex Lesson - Dental Dam Use" *The setting is the height of the AIDS epidemic. Sexually active folk are still confused to the spread of disease & the practice of safe sex. A sex worker, possibly, has her ownlocal city tv show to inform them how to snip an ordinary condom into use for performing oral sex on a female so as to not spread infectious diseases. She almost is a trainwreck but not enough for any legit comedy, only curiosity.* 2 stars (3 for the info for the time)

"Sam Kinison - Family Entertainment Hour" *This might be comedy blasphemy, but Larry the Cable Guy is as popular as Sam Kinison was. Both have a similar rowdiness & offensiveness in the connect with their audience. Larry, however, has neither a spine nor a soul.* between 2 1/2 & 3 stars

Literal Videos: Air Supply - Making Love Out of Nothing at All *"I don't want to seem them naked." I don't want to hear their soft rock.* 2 1/2 stars literal or 1 star actual

---- SCTV - Midnight Special:

*An all white (never seen before) scat singing choir conducted by Eugene Levy To see them live in concert, "Phone your nearest Republican." HA!

*Rick Moranis impersonates a cranky David Brinkley editorial.

*David Thomas & Catherine O'Hara are phone commercial lawyers (& possibly married lawyers) not helping an arguing married couple out very much in their disputes.

*Rick Moranis impersonates a radio dj becoming a video vj in this transitional time period between radio music & video music outlets.

*Followed by a Talking Heads video "Once in a Lifetime"

*A very politically incorrect (when you still could be before the p.c. police) & somewhat funny live feed from a Japanese parody vj

*Followed by a cool music video by hip & quirky Japanese band The Plastics. So, that does in a way cancel out the casual racism.

*SCTV starts the tech war between Japan & the U.S. in a funny skit.

*The real enemy, however, is Russian t.v. and Good Day Moscow

*Exploitation a plenty in a fake ad for a late night pajama party t.v. show on SCTV

*John Candy is the Hugh Hefner smoking jacket wearing host of the all girl pajama party Complete with creepy guy climbing in the window using a ladder. ha

*Candy tries to explain the show is empowering to women, but a prudish sexologist hijacks the feed to talk about how it's sexist.

*John Candy is back again, this time as a sportsman in an ammo ad. He sports a beard & hunts ducks. Hmmm... He remains likeable while other bearded duckhunters that I won't mention still remain hateable. Much focus is put on the cleavage of his buxom buddy that he's hunting with. She's female.

*A punk dyke delivery chick brings pizza & starts a catfight which the sexologist reveals is more of Candy's libido problems.

*Thankfully, the "menopausal" femi-nazi is interrupted by a male chauvinist fan of the pajama party.

*It's bedtime & Candy has to toss the old geezer, kicking & screaming, out the window.

*Al's Garage "Anytime At All." He has a naughty pinup calendar & he smokes cigars.

*Feminists have protest signs outside SCTV's studio & chase Candy to his limo

*Poindexter, investigative reporter (played by Eugene Levy) gets up close & a little too personal exploring singles bars.

*Monster Chiller Horror Theater with a howling Count Floyd

*The featured flick is Bloodsucking Monkeys from West Mifland, Pennsylvania

*Wink, wink. There's no movie. But Count promises that it was scary & describes it. It's just as good as Alien, he claims.

*Great White North wants to talk about Nasa's tools & beer, ay.

*SCTV has Hitchcock presents in late night. So, they're like MeTV or AntennaTV on current cable.

*A parody of Kirk Douglas in "Lust for Life" in the SCTV vault classic "Lust for Paint"

*Catherine O'Hara shows off some sexy cleavage & gets offered to be painted nude as she plays a bar beauty of the 19th century. The mom from Home Alone was sexy back in the day.

*Fish Police. An early reality show that's just as absurd as the 90s hit COPS.

*France was filled with great artists in the 19th century & possibly they were all gay according to SCTV

*Harold Raimis cameo as a waiter.

*Rick Moranis sells ridiculous logos.

*John Candy is an angry Babe Ruth in the wrong time period. Candy lost out on the role to Goodman years later. Not really, but really.

*Candy does a decent Hitchcock impersonation as well. Also Curly Howard.

3 stars

------------------------

"Let's Paint TV's Last Cable Access Show" 2008 *A weirdo in a dirty & disheveled business suit runs a treadmill while horribly painting, taking live prank calls, & talking to a Swedish barmaid mixing things up in a blender.* between 1 1/2 & 2 stars

--- TV Carnage:

*I Hate My Kids: Brats are birth control. The only time Fox News will ever be pro choice.*  2 stars

*Lurking Danger: The fish land right in the boat & land you right in the hospital. Tonight, in our Lurking Danger special report. This is CNN.* 2 stars

*Making The Grade: Solve my equation, again, & I'll slit your throat.* 2 1/2 stars

*Phonebooth Funnys!: Coed improv in tight spaces. It's not what you think, you pervert.*  either 1 star or close to 2 1/2 stars

*Reaching For The Light: Orgy of the first class.* 2 stars

-------------

Mystery Science Theater 3000 - K19: Hangar 18 *Having NASA accidentally cause a UFO to crash, in the desert, is "the best thing since sliced computer" only it hurts the UFO denying crooked President's chances for re-election & they'll need a shady coverup.* between 2 1/2 & 3 stars w/ riffing & 2 w/out

"Ten Forward Crank Calls" *"Brain cells are sucked into a blackhole" & four letter words fly into the phone lines for a chubby Star Trek fan's Trekkie talk show.* 1 star

Beavis & Butthead: Sausage - Riddles Are Abound Tonight *"The Seminiferous Tube-loidial Buttnoids have left my pants" or "turds can see in the dark, like bats."* 2 1/2 stars w/ riff 2 w/out

--- Monstervision w/ Joe Bob Briggs: Wes Craven's Deadly Friend (1986):

*Joe Bob says this flick is the Breakfast Club version of Bride of Frankenstein

*Drive-In Totals... 6 dead bodies... 7 gallons blood (some spurting w/ 3 bloody noses)... exploding head.. head disguised as basketball... exploding robot... father charbroiling..gratuitous brain surgery... incest fu...

*Joe Bob wants to get biblical w/ Krisy Swanson but thinks better of it because of Alan Thicke

*You know that you're in for a horror funride when the first on screen creature (robot) attack is against a sleazy redneck

*80s robots were great. This one even sees in Sega CD vision. All pixelated.

*In my opinion, this flick is also like Zapped meets Frankenhooker

*It's a wacky neighborhood when the old bat from Throw Mama from the Train is a shotgun wielding crazy lady living behind a locked fence.

*A robot's first reaction to seeing douchebags on dirtbikes is to vice grip their testicles. Can we unleash robots on Rob Dyrdek's Fantasy Factory?

*The schmaltzy TNT voiceover for drama guy lays the sap on thick for TNT's big network premier for Gilbert Grape.

*Rockapella sing us a Folgers "Best part of wakin' up" mornin' tune. I can't drink the coffee for the vomit in my mouth.

*Snuggles, the fabric softener bear, is taking a stroll through a forest filled with cute animals. Real animals. Snuggles is a nightmare creature created out of industrial chemicals & soulless corporate greed. He's unnatural. An abomination of cuddliness.

*Joe Bob hates cute robots, Star Trek conventions, & Little House on the Prairie.

*The "Stand your ground" law triumphs again & the robot menace is toasted, for now.

*Quirky "life is ugly, you betcha" comedy approaching horror Fargo on TNT is sponsored by SEARS & no irony is seen in that. I don't think, by TNT or SEARS.

*Sprint commercial featuring Fall scenery. This episode of Monstervision is late 90s. The late 90s had a real Autumn vibe to a lot of things. Dawson's Creek, Scream & I Know What You Did Last Summer, Marcy Playground's Sex & Candy, Duncan Sheik, Eagle Eye Cherry, GooGoo Dolls, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Charmed, "Sunny Came Home," "Where Have All the Cowboys Gone," Jewel, Barenaked Ladies, Halloween H20... All of 'em & many more

*Firefighters prefer Yukon sport utility vehicles & the Energizer Bunny outruns a Hummer filled with a reject A-Team. Absurdity & the beginning of America's obsession with big ass family tanks that would dominate the roads post-2000

*Hope Floats on VHS. Turds float too. & the turd that is Hope Floats on VHS is out there floating around at plenty of 50 something year old women yardsales across the the cowboy states of America

*"Mom's like you choose Jiff" & dad's like Bob Villa choose tools from SEARS. Don't not be how corporate America assumes you to be. Buy these creamy peanut dips & wrenches

*Burt Reynolds must have been buddies w/ Ted Turner. Ted sure had his movies played alot on TBS & TNT. Burt was popular. No doubt. Burt even had alot of generic made for TNT movies in the late 90s. I can understand the demand for Smoky & the Bandit & others, but not the made for TNT shit.

*Jack Palance in a western version of A Christmas Carol. Another made for TNT movie. & Lifetime + Hallmark have made me hate made for tv Christmas movies, but how could you not like the idea of a forgotten Jack Palance Christmas flick?

*The parents from Happy Days are slumming in a collect calls commercial.

*Paul Hogan was still an action comedy hero in the late 90s. Only he was doing it in Subaru ads. This one he's in disguise / drag wearing the mask of a woman. Unintentionally creepy.

*Essence of Emeril... Emeril Live... I'll never get the fascination w/ over the top food chefs & their tv shows.

*Grace Jones in an ad for TBS Superstation's 15 nights of Bond movies. I guess she was easy to get being a D-list celebrity & all after the 80s.

*Paul Reiser is in a bookstore explaining internet for new users / dummies using AT&T Worldnet. At least it's not an ad for America Online.

*Joe Bob says TNT censors won't allow exploding heads by basketball decapitation because idiots in Florida will try it & congress will go crazy.

*Hendrix has only one burning desire. Let him stand next to your Pontiac Sunfire. He doesn't really want to do that. He's dead, like Kristy Swanson, in this Monstervision movie. But in this soulless & artsy Pontiac commercial where yuppies are escaping a cityscape dystopia in their Sunfire, listening to Hendrix, he does.

*NFL moms of big, mean linebackers sure are funny. Thanks, Campbell's chunk soups ads for making me endure the meaty veggie soupy sacky mommy comedy.

*There's a "Bob Fest" in Colorado every year, where all Bobs in the world can attend. Bob Dole will be there. Bring your Pentax film camera.

*"Relax, Go Nuts" with Planters & a wacky beaver on a camping trip. I hope some idiot saw this & lost a finger or two trying to feed a Planters peanut to a beaver or a badger.

*"Rowdy" Roddy Piper is on the set of Burt's old guy cop action made for TNT tv movie. He's talking about the need for aspirin on the set, for the old guys, in this sneak peek.

*Joe Bob wants to know why Kristy Swanson is looking more supermodel than zombie

*The shoot first ask questions later cops put an end to cyborg/undead Kristy Swanson's reign of terror.

2 1/2 stars for the confused flick close to 3 for Joe Bob & between 1 1/2 & 2 for TNT & their ads

--------------------------

Classic Comedy Central: Penn Jillette promotes Earth Girls Are Easy *He makes it seem like it wouldn't be a waste of an afternoon.* close to 3 stars

Fred Olen Ray's "Cyclone" 1987 *Everyone's favorite genre movie mad scientist, Jeffrey Combs (Re-Animator), was working on a super-motorcycle more high tech than an F-16 jet. When he's assassinated, on a punk rock dance floor, via a tech conspiracy, his 80s blonde bombshell girlfriend has to take over safeguarding the project from falling into the wrong hands. The whole thing drips with so much 80s goodness, one would swear it was a modern day homage.* close to 3 stars

Flaccid Ego Psychic Reading Call In Show *"This is not a bodega, honey." There's a correlation between how far someone's head is tilted back as they're talking & the amount of shit that they give. The further back, the less shit given.* either zero or 2 1/2 stars (for a second)

"Amok Assault Video" *"An open keyhole policy" to mass hypnosis & mass halitosis.* close to 3 stars

Rescue 911 w/ Shatner: Brave Dog vs. Rattlesnake *The dog, Lady, was a terrible actress during the re-enactments. She did well during the fight with the snake, but she broke character & smiled too much during the vet E.R. part .She needs to take acting lessons from Shatner.*

2 stars

Penn & Teller Bullshit!: Self Helpless *There's a sucker "re-born" every minute.* 3 stars

Jake Byrd Goes Tea Bagging *"We're a little Tea Party, short & stout, when we get all steamed up hear us shout 'No more taxes, get the immigrant out!'"* 2 1/2 stars

--- Phone Losers:

*Tenants From Hell - Striking Oil: Crude & deluded.* close to 2 1/2 stars

*Carlito the Perverted Janitor - Bank Customers: Good loan agents love to kiss & tell.* 2 1/2 stars

*Home Security - Hidden Cameras: I don't want home security watching over me while I pee.* close to 2 1/2 stars

*Homeowners Association - Naked People: Old, black couples don't have sex. Yeah, right.* 2 1/2 stars

---------------------

Goth Public Access Channel (youtube) *"It's no fun being dead. Enough has been said." So why the morbid fixation?*

1 star

--- USA Up All Night w/ Rhonda Shear: Jason Takes Manhattan & Fortress of Amerikkka

*Rhonda is in an S&M shop with a gimp.

*Louis Gossett Jr. is an Olympic coach in a USA original movie. He's not the first actor that I would think of for a role like that. But maybe he's the most badass.

*Painful rectal burning? Admit you have it & get Preparation H. Doctors' orders.

*Trading erotic voicemails with "Girls of Paradise" seems like a one way street. A horny moron calls in a 1 800 number to nervously drool over his love for T & A, the voice model makes only one recording for any & every guy who calls in.

*Go back in time to when you weren't old & too feeble to open the mayo jar. If you believe that & buy our pain relieving cream, we also have ocean front property in [insert cliche dry state here]

*Couch fishin for loose change to buy extra Pop Tarts. Not me, the guy in the Kellogg's ad

*Pacific Blue, USA networks lame bicycle beach cops show from the late 90s. They recognize how boring being a beach cop must be, so they spice it up with a special west coast loco gangbangers episode.

*Big Easy. A sleazy, but probably all too tame show about New Orleans on USA network. Can't think of original programming? Exploit a city's reputation.

*Rhonda has an oversized spiked dog collar put on a poindexter

*Win a Nintendo 64 block party (sounds like it could have been fun) via Kellogg's & Kmart

*A kid in a "No Fear" t-shirt visits his square dad's Rent-A-Center style store in an ad

*Don't talk to your kids about the dangers of sniffing to get high, & wind up feeding soup to your newly vegetable loved one. I always preferred that trippy drowning anti-sniffing ad from the same time period.

*"Had a hard day?" "Talk to some of the most exotic women in the world." the world = Tampa, Florida. Some of the most exotic = ordinary skanks.

*What does chomping into a Nestle's Crunch sound like? This ad swears it sounds like a pink Cadillac convertible, filled with lightbulbs, falling off of a tall building. I think Elvis just cried. Not sure which he cried for: the pink Cadillac or the candy bar.

*Private eye James Belushi is following around split personality Linda Blair who hired him to follow herself around. Looks sleazy & potentially good.

*Rhonda dons kinky boots, leather, & a gay man's biker's hat in a black & white moving photo hanging on the wall. Sounded like maybe Velvet Underground was playing in the background as well.

*It's okay to be like your mom. You're closer to 40 than 20 & it has a sickly brown colored candy coating. Oh, what am I talking about, you ask, it's Advil.

*If you ever see a whitebread goodlooking man or woman sitting on a New England beach or pier during a windy day, do not approach. They may look harmless, but they're usually filming an embarrassing human condition commercial.

*Diamond studded sex handcuffs. Nice. But why is Rhonda being so camera shy? Was she burntout with the show by this point, five or six years into its run.

*Bill Cosby's former tv wife, the one that he doesn't cheat on by serving PM cold medicine to ugly white women, is in an argument with her much better looking & non-raping actual husband about Pop-Secret popcorn.

*Cable in the classroom provides a parent's guide to the information superhighway that is cable tv

*"Someone out there knows what I'm going through." somewhere out there in psychic phone network mystery world that is

*Bonkers for Babies! & Animal Bloopers on Zoo Life Video. Jack Hanna (the animal guy from Carson, Leno, Letterman) believes that "Animals Do Feel Love." They also have a funny bone, and it's used for more than just Chinese medicine.

*Zipper crotches on leather lingerie wearing limbless & headless mannequins & more Rhonda voice-over work

*Archie Bunker's real life son died from drugs. Maybe he should have spent more time with him instead of arguing with Meathead.

*Rhonda finally makes an on camera appearance with poindexter in the adult video section of the sex shoppe

*"Virtual reality bites" have a Butterfinger Blast. Blood sugar induced hallucinations?

* 1 800 number for a TimeLife coffee table book on "how To fix" home remodeling & repairs. For only 3 easy payments of 9.99. Pretty steep if you think in 20tens terms & how easy it is to just go online & find the same info, but this is 1996 or 7, here, in the ad.

*Going back in time from 97 to 92, Rhonda is at the WBF World Fitness Expo doing a bit of cute jogging in place.

*Rhonda sings the theme song from Fortress of Amerikkka.

*Rhonda tells fat jokes about Roseanne. Roseanne probably hated Rhonda. Tom Arnold probably loved her.

*Rhonda flirts with a WBF bodybuilder / foreign accent guy whose thighs are bigger than Rhonda's waist

*Rhonda gets the bodybuilding champ to take off his shirt. He probably was having a panic attack just by wearing it anyway. Meatheads & shirts don't get along.

*Rhonda's hormones are out of whack here & the bodybuilders' steroid use as well.

*An Amazon chick shows up to tell how this fitness expo ain't no beauty pageant

*A mullet-haired meathead talks about bringing rock & roll fire into his bodybuilding expo routine. Thankfully, rock & roll died a long time before this. It's just corpse abuse.

*Rhonda tries to find out how much moolah an 80s-RickJames-pimp-looking black Hercules has won from the competition. He pulls out a check from his fanny pack. Fanny packs are very manly.

*World's Strongest Samoan pauses from picking up sedans to lift Rhonda up into the air by her butt

*Troma presents Fortress of Amerikkka!: In the cruel absurdity of Amerikkka, human life is worthless.

2 stars for the sex shoppe, 2 stars for the ads, 1 star for the body building expo, 2 1/2 stars for Rhonda, either 1 or close to 2 1/2 stars for Jason 8 (for the countless time on basic cable & mostly bloodless), & more than 2 1/2 stars for Amerikkka!

-----------------------

Troma presents "Lust For Freedom" *Troma tries their hand at the exploitation genre staple of women in a private prison hell. Highlights include a big mean looking Indian with a scarred face that drives around a black van across the desert & kidnaps women for the prison. He's like something out of a Jim Morrison song & he looks like the creepy brother of Bob from Twin Peaks. Another trashy fun part of the movie involves prison lady badasses in wrestling matches to the death. Plus there's an 80s hard rock soundtrack including the song "Rock You To Hell."* 3 stars

Beavis & Butthead: Sugartooth - Sold My Fortune *The boys mistake the word fortune for futon, and ponder why selling a futon would cause so many fights at the Sugartooth concert. Also, Beavis is intimidated by Urkel's size.* close to 3 stars with riffing 2 w/out

Kung Fu: Sun & Cloud Shadow *The path of peace is blocked by a mountain.* close to 3 stars

From Dusk Till Dawn: Place Of Dead Roads *The last stop before hell is a cafe, belonging to a cartel, serving plenty of coochie.* 2 1/2 stars

Public Access TV Gold - Don't You Want To Save Our Planet? *Fast Times Sean Penn look-a-like is for real about his love for his fellow parasite man. Vocal solo.* 3 stars

--- Dead Comics Society --- Commercial Breaks (1991):

*McHale's Navy every weeknight at 5 on the Comedy Channel. In color too. Antenna tv or MeTV shows this too, but in black & white.

*An ad for Billy Crystal's City Slickers. One of comedy's own was a blockbuster star still at this point.

*Coast bar soap ad where a "Thinking Man" bronze statue takes a refreshing bath in the rain.

*As seen on tv "No More Runs" panty hose w/ smart nylon. Run a nail file or a chainsaw right down the leg. Do not attempt while wearing, ladies

*Plenty of Stand Up comedy back in the day on comedy channels. Robin Williams, Jerry Seinfeld, Paul Poundstone, Howie Mandel, Carlin, pretty much all of the recognizable faces. And not just a weekend special like Comedy Central, these days. Stand up comedy was pretty much the face of the network.

*Jack Benny is creeped out by a kid wearing an ole timey clown mask. He's speechless, or once. Another show too old for current Comedy Central. One day Southpark will be on a TVLand type network & kids will get a weird feeling seeing how antique it looks. Much like seeing this clip of Jack Benny would make Comedy Central's current audience feel.

*KC Bold is like fireworks in one's mouth. It's important to always see the inventor of the baked beans or the bbq sauce or the George Foreman grill to know that the product / meal will be satisfactory. Did George actually invent that sidways waffle iron & grease trough?

*Devry with their 9 locations, in 1991, will teach you the tech knowledge that you need to succeed. Having a neatly trimmed little mustache is up to you.

*Ah, hah hah! The classic & unintentionally funny Suzanne Summers "Thigh Master" ad. She is so smiley while squeezing her crotch muscles. & just like the "Shake Weight," seeing a guy use it is just as amusingly awkward.

*Two Drink Minimum. A self aware title for another all stand up comedy show on the network. This one only has B to C list comics like 'The Amazing Jonathan"

*Alan King's "Inside the Comedy Mind" w/ such guests as the eccentric Steven Wright. We're too post-modern for something like this now. Inside the comedy mind? How lame, turn it on Louis CK's FX show or bring up a FunnyOrDie video. Alan King's "Inside the Comedy Mind" is no Zack Galifianakis' "Between Two Ferns." #hastag #hipster

*A middle America housewife is tired of having tried every diet from the "celebrity" to the "grapefruit." Her doctor finally puts her on some Medifast diet (we know it worked because obesity was cured & Medifast is currently the largest corporate brand of all time). She makes up for the weight loss by wearing oversized glasses & a lady business suit with shoulderpads larger than a NFL linebacker's.

*One of those classic scrolling certificate degrees from home ads. Learn everything from "gun repair" (only in America) or vcr repair (hopefully whoever took that is retired by now & not jobless).

*Short Attention Span Theater hosted by a very young Jon Stewart. This was before talking to cabinet secretaries & skewering political mishaps, for close to two decades, sucked all the life out of him.

*The very vintage Steve Allen Show weekdays on the Comedy Channel. Another show that deserves to still be on a classic channel somewhere. This clip had one of the first tv appearances of Elvis. How many viewers of current culture even care about or know whoElvis is, much less Steve Allen? Very few.

more than 2 1/2 stars

------------------------------

"V The Hot One" ---xxx--- (1977) *An example of how the fantasy in pornography is so different from reality: Valerie "V" asks her husband if he's ever been with a whore. (she's curious about whores) He says that he was with many when he was younger. (He then tells a digusting experience.) She's even more curious. (In reality the woman would be furious or detested with him.) Here, Valerie has spent a lifetime giving in to her whorish impulses.* 2 1/2(maybe classic)

"Tickle the Ivories w/ Janis Wolfe (Bad Public Access Show) *A very plain (& refreshingly un-self-aware) woman plays piano & reads psalms.* 1 star

"Topless Anti-Fashion" (DDTV San Francisco Public Access 1995) *A Lil' Kim look-a-like exposes painted nipples in what seems like a real life version of something Damon Wayans would parody on In Living Color.* 2 stars

Jake Byrd: Sara Palin Superfan (2008) *Bend over & grab your Arab ankles (Hussein Obama) or love Alaskan beaver (Palin Power).*  3 stars

Mr. Plinkett's Cop Dog Review *Put a dog on the cover of the dvd & dumb parents will rent it for their kids. Even though the dog commits suicide halfway in & becomes a ghost dog.* 0 for Cop Dog & 3 for Plinkett

"Best of The New Tom Green Show" (2003) *Short lived talk show that captured the same kind of crappy hip young adult audience NBC's Jimmy Fallon would a decade later. Also another attempt by MTV to tame & market a cult & avant garde artist (idiot?) to the American public (about as successful as his first MTV show in 1999 & his box office bomb of a movie "Freddy Got Fingered" 2001?).* 2 stars

Robin Williams - Improv with The Second City *Robin could improve any "hellhole."* close to 2 1/2 (would be more if it were recorded professionally instead of by an audience member, in the back row, with a cheap camcorder)

"Satarded Satanic Panic" (youtube) *Before she became a high priestess in the corporate church of the global economy, Oprah bought in to the goofy fearmongering going on in the Reagan years. Either a nutbag or a decoy evangelical pretending to be a reformed participant in a unbelievably ridiculous occult sacrifice story has Oprah taking his side over the more logical minded, yet still pretentious within his constitutional religious rights, devil-worshipper.* 1 star

Penn & Teller Bullshit!: Alien Abductions & End of the World *These crazies are actual doctors & best selling authors. Meanwhile, I'm not prepping for doomsday & I have no repressed memories of being probed. On top of that, I'm flat broke & live off of a diet of mostly beans while hardly leaving my house. I'm not paranoid, just lazy & unmotivated. I'd rather not survive an apocalypse or fly away w/ little green men.* 3 stars

Weird Al Yankovic: Headline News *Tru Al TV presents World's Dumbest Musical (Criminals).* close to 3 stars

Uncharted Zone: Ken Manning - Gulf Breeze UFO *Lookin' for a lost shaker of Martian salt.* between 2 & 2 1/2 stars

5 Dollar Wrestling: Next 5 Dollar Wrestling Superstar, Jimmy the Snake Roberts *DDT stands for "drop dead twice."* close to 3 stars

Vh1 Classic Pop Up Video: Latoya Jackson - Heart Don't Lie *The black sheep of the Jacksons in a video all about puppy love.* close to 2 stars w/ pop ups & 1/2 a star w/out

"Pauly's Totally Buff Special" *MTV's "The Weasel" Pauly Shore butchers the English/Spanish/human language drooling the international language of love (lust) over California bimbos.* either 1 star or close to 2 1/2 stars (for an idiot time capsule)

"Alien Lust" ---xxx--- 1985 *"A story of bizarro desires!" Nothing too out of this world, except for maybe the corny cartoon alien penis monster sex scene finale.* close to 2 stars or mostly 1/2 a star

X Files: The Erlenmeyer Flask *The hybrids fall from Olympus. The finale of the "Deep Throat" story arc.*

3 stars

Tales from the Crypt: Collection Completed *Grumpy bulldog M. Emmett Walsh begins his retirement by outcrazying his animal hoarding, eccentric wife when he uses taxidermy on all her beloved pets.* 3 stars

Harvey Keitel in "Corrupt" *"The public seek the police in order to be punished for their illicit desires." Johnny Rotten & Harvey make a cerebral odd couple.* close to 3 stars

[logi1974]

Namushasha River Lodge celebrates the wonders of the Zambezi water world. There's a magic, a feeling or a charm that enraptures you in these northern realms. With elephants, hippos, myriad bird species, waterlilies and African bush, a visit to Namushasha provides an enriching adventure into Nature - to the accompaniment of the chiming of reed frogs, bird calls, hippo grunts and the soothing sound of a boat skimming through water. Stroll past the green-lawned campsite to the traditional heritage centre; hop aboard the river boats for early morning or late afternoon river cruises to explore the channels and discover the diverse bird life; or take a trip to the Bwabwata National Park, first by boat along the waterways to later transfer to a game vehicle for an excursion into African bush. At the end of the day, there's nothing that can quite compare to a red Zambezi sunset.

Die Namushasha River Lodge zelebriert die Wunder der Sambesi-Wasserwelt. Es gibt eine Magie, ein Gefühl, einen Zauber, der in diesen nördlichen Bereichen begeistert. Mit Elefanten, Flusspferden, unzähligen Vogelarten, Seerosen und afrikanischem Busch bietet ein Besuch ein bereicherndes Abenteuer in der Natur - begleitet von Wasserlilien, Vogelstimmen, Flusspferdgrunzen und dem beruhigenden Geräusch eines Bootes, das durch Wasser gleitet. An Bord der Flussboote auf einer Flusskreuzfahrten am frühen Morgen oder am späten Nachmittag, um die Kanäle zu erkunden und die vielfältige Vogelwelt zu entdecken. Oder man macht einen Ausflug in den Bwabwata-Nationalpark, zuerst mit dem Boot entlang der Wasserstraßen und um dann später in ein Pirschfahrzeug umzusteigen und einen Ausflug in den afrikanischen Busch zu unternehmen. Am Ende des Tages gibt es nichts, was mit einem roten Sambesi-Sonnenuntergang vergleichbar wäre.

[piscitellientretenimentos-blog]

Feijoada do Amaral em clima de folia

http://www.piscitellientretenimentos.com/feijoada-do-amaral-em-clima-de-folia/

Feijoada do Amaral em clima de folia

A Feijoada do Amaral, é um dos eventos mais tracionais do calendário nessa época no Rio, é reconhecida por abrir os festejos do carnaval carioca, acontece por 41 anos, e reina como sempre. Com Ricardo Amaral como mestre de cerimônia, o Hippopotamus bombou, aliás, foi ali que a feijoada ganhou fama, em Ipanema. E essa edição veio com a simpatia e sempre linda Luiza Brunet, como madrinha. Coroação mais que justa.

O pioneirismo de Amaral, traz muitas lendas e histórias, e reunir celebrities, high society e políticos, ele sabe fazer como ninguém. E ontem, sábado de carnaval não foi diferente, passaram por lá Alexia Dechamps, Giovanna Priolli, Rodrigo Raposo, Ana Paula Padrão, Simone Cavalieri, Sergio Sá Leitão, Janyck Daudet, Zé Reinaldo, Hugo Celidônio, Maria Alice, Carla Daniel, Bernardo Castejá, Prefeito de Jaguariúna Gustavo, Anna Medrado, entre outros

A camiseta convite, sempre disputadíssima, fez referência ao livro do Amaral – Rio Book (2017).  A alquimia dos caldeirões, foi sob o domínio do chef Tião, expert e assinando desde a 1ª feijoada. Onde comandou 90k de feijão, 60k de arroz, 40k de farofa, de carne seca foram mais de 100k – entre desfiadas e cozidas, além de uns 300k de iguarias como língua defumada, linguiças, paio, bacon, lombo, costela e outros. De couve, preparou em torno de 200 molhos, o purê de abóbora e a laranja completaram a farra gastronômica.

No quesito customização, em frente ao Club Hippo, ficou a cargo de Abre Alas by Victor Goldberg, o figurinista estava munido com mais 600 metros de cetim nas cores dourada, prata e vermelho, com muito metros de aviamentos de lantejoulas, para deixar cada blusa bem especial.

Ao lado da produção dos brilhos, um louge tropical de uns 30m, uma espécie de varandinha, com direito a open bar e rodas de sambas, comandado pelo grupo “Puroacaso”, a área ficou bastante movimentada. Os 3 ambientes do Hippo, receberem em torno de 700 pessoas, embalados ainda com bateria do Spanta, intercalando com os Dj Marquinhos e Dj Jacaré, mandando ver com os clássicos dos anos 80, com hits baianos, axés e velhos carnavais.

Nos bares, foi um agito só, para atender a demanda de muitos drinks e caipirinhas. Na ala dos apoiadores, a Magnésia de Phillips distribuía pastilhas na entrada. A Cia da Empada criou uma parceria inédita, almejando expansão de negócios, realizou degustação de 1000 delicias, de 6 sabores, mas o que mais surpreendeu foi o tamanho, bem acima do tradicional, agradou em cheio. Outro mimo ficou por conta do gelato italiano Diletto, com o sabor incrível de torta de limão.

E assim, mais uma mega realização de Ricardo Amaral, um ícone internacional, sempre lardeado pelo filhos Bernardo e Rick. E tem mais, realizam ainda o Baile do Hippo, dia 13 e Alô Alô Amaral, dia 16. E a festa continua.

  Fotos de Zezinho Peres  

[leftoveruvia-blog]

Albion Online Hack Generatore for You unlimited Gold.

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