#hilarious but damn 💀

[jjsstars]

whoever added this to their five & lila playlist is criminal 😭

[qkmlh]

Still ducking hilarious to me that Zoro & Sanji began their beef because they thought the other was misogynistic and it came to a head of no return when Zoro felt his title of ‘Luffy’s specialest boi’ threatened by Sanji’s comment

[lifeisstrange-incorrectquotes]

Max: *watching the Emoji Movie* Kate, I think she's had enough...

Kate: Max, Vicky told me it took 2 hours to redye her hair. Chloe needs to learn what happens when she messes with my Vivi.

Max: *looks at Chloe who's tied to a chair Clockwork Orange style, whimpering* This must be Kate’s 1984 phase...

[twistedappletree]

the way i’m writing LSZ rooftop running, jumping from elevated places and landing like a cat into random conversations he wasn’t even invited to is so fucking funny to me, he’s a Lan through and through

[gatogotica]

just finished the mighty boosh.. strange kinda tonal shift it took in the last two episodes, especially between howard & vince

[appri-dot]

Yokai-Academy isn't real, it can't hurt you

Y-Academy:

[salvidida]

Racism and colourism are systemic, and of course they're rampant in most media, fandoms, merchandising, the whole shebang. So these are far from the only examples of this being a problem, but it's maddening being into jjba, ffvii, and fma and seeing damn near NOTHING for any of the (scant) core dark-skinned characters of colour from these fandoms.

Like, wow, cool fanart of the cast of Stardust Crusaders! Where's Avdol? :))))

Great fanart of the ffvii team! Why's Barret MIA? :))))

Oh cool, look at all of this art featuring the large fma cast (if not massive cast regarding mangahood)! It includes villains even! ... So Scar just doesn't exist or...? Man, not even Miles? Paninya?? Hello????

[dulcewrites]

You know someone is gonna have the most shit take about hotd/f&b if they have those yassified drawings of the Targaryens as their pfp

[thinkingnot]

a google search left me baffled SHICMUON IS 21 YEARS OLD???????? no way no way no fucking way MANS BEEN BATTLING A 15 YEARS OLD AND LOSING 💀💀💀 (to be fair said 15yrs old is also i mean simultaneously a kijillion years old being so like i mean ehhhhh its still funny)

[mabelbun]

MALHARE: Vanny i would like to introduce you to our new host LUCAS: . . . . VANNY: uhm not to bother you sir but since when we had one? who is he anyways LUCAS: My apologies boss but I gotta say I didn't knew we had someone who is really "**Shortie**" VANNY : Wait what?

[lewisvinga]

my wags | george russell x fem! reader x carmen montero mundt !

summary; the sporting world turns upside down when young volleyball star y/n is seen in a compromising position with george

fc; maria isabel

warnings; hate comments, cursing, pretend that the summer break started before the olympics

all works taglist; @goldenmclaren @namgification @c-losur3 @minkyungseokie @lavisenri @ollieshifts

note; requested !

masterlist !

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liked by georgerussell63, yourusername, and others !

carmenmmundt: this past week❤️

georgerussell63: ❤️

username: red is so ur color omg

username: MY fave couple

username: girl isn’t he cheating on u???

yourusername: ugh ur gonna have to let me borrow that dress!!

carmenmmundt: i got youuu😁

username: uhm not the snake here…

username: HOME WRECKER!!!

username: bye y/n

username: this mfing girl acting like she wasn’t caught making out w her bsf’s man💀💀

username: oh that’s not….

username: CARMEN STAND TF UP!!!😭😭

username: y/n u are so messy for this..

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

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liked by georgerussell63, carmenmmundt, and others !

yourusername: vacay dump ft bf & gf before olympics bc i’m finally ready to have my wags in the crowd 🤍🤍

tagged; georgerussell63, carmenmmundt

carmenmmundt: our pretty girl🥹

carmenmmundt: always rooting for you🤍

yourusername: love u sm💗

georgerussell63: HOT DAMN

georgerussell63: well aren’t you a pretty lady

yourusername: i know u wanted to say sexy🙄

georgerussell63: i’m trying to keep it classy, babe💅

username: ohWHAT

username: THEHRE ALL DATING😭😭

username: dare i say power couple ?

username: SHES NOT ADOUBLE HOME WRECKER SJES JUST THE SEXY TENNIS GF☝️☝️☝️

username: george as a wag is abt to be HILARIOUS

yourusername: he says yippee

georgerussell63: i do NOT

carmenmmundt: ….george, yes you do

username: this kinda eats waittt😫

username: y/n vacay pics ☀️🌞🌞

lilymhe: double dates soon🙏

yourusername: oh duh, we miss u🤭

alex_albon: no george stinks

georgerussell63: u love me stfu

carmenmmundt: maybe they’re the ones in a relationship…🤔

[mathcs]

[Package attached with a letter for JUDE MATHIS]

Dear Jude,

I've heard about your time with Asch back at Rieze Maxia. He's changed a lot ever since he got here. He even brought you up, which is another first that I find as a pleasant surprise.

I suppose that whatever what you two went through, it broke down those sturdy walls he built for himself. For that, I couldn't thank you enough for not giving up on him.

This is just my token of appreciation for everything you've done for him. I made him make one batch for you, while I did another. Please enjoy!

Signed,

Natalia Luzu Kimlasca-Lanvaldear

"Asch...?! Oh, wow!" Letter in hand, Jude suddenly stood up from his chair. Now that wasn't a name he'd expected to read today. And 'Natalia'... there was no mistaking that dignified signature. Plus, Asch had mentioned her before. Having someone so important to his friend thanking him, and knowing that they were both doing just fine, together at last...

... Jude couldn't help but feel relieved. And news of Asch's change coming in the form of handmade chocolates, too? He never could've guessed ( what a way to end the work day! ). "Hm, which one first..." He glanced at the two batches on his desk. Law was rightー he really was lucky! They really didn't have to go out of their way to make so much just for him... guess I'll sample one of Natalia's, then Asch's! And so, he cheerfully took his first bite.

The trial (of flavour) had begun, effectively immediately.

"....... Hrrkー?!" It was like he'd been slapped across the face. What was this... taste, exactly?! Jude immediately grabbed the edge of his desk to steady himself, and no words could come to mind as to help him describe it. Was this... was this really chocolate...? It was, right?! Unless he'd eaten so much of it lately that something was seriously wrong with his tastebuds now... Yeah, that seems likelー...?! Oh, oh nope... urgh, okay...! Nevermind! Ah yes, the aftertaste was now kicking in.

Whether it was his survival instincts kicking in or a last act of desperation, nobody could tell just yetー sweating, Jude's hand swung out and swiped one of Asch's chocolates right before he tumbled to the cold ground!

The truth was, he'd just remembered something vital: Asch was an amazing cook. In other words...! If this strategy has any hope of workingーー

"Then I just... have to eat one of his! That'll balance it out for sure... haha... I got this, everything's gonna be just fiー" Alas, Natalia's cooking 'skills' were faster than his unnecessary exposition ( and somewhere at the back of his fainting mind, Jude could hear Leia's mother scolding him : he or she who strikes first has the advantage! )

Well. Jude Mathis was a healer too, but... that never could've saved him from this...

[darlingletters]

IT couple ln4

lando norris x singer fem!reader

in which lando norris and y/n y/l/n are the IT couple of the internet and no one can seem to beat them.

warnings: fluff, swearing, inaccurate information about lando’s first win but it’s just for the plot, a picture of a dinosaur head. lemme know if I missed anything else.

driver list navigation

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lando.jpg

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55 and 273,123,922 others

lando.jpg my beautiful girl, even as a dinosaur

tagged yourusername

view comments

user they’re so cute it’s acc disgusting

user THEY SO CUTE

user I bet she bought that mask and scared the shit out of lando with it.

⤷ yourusername it was fucking hilarious

user I love them so muchhh

⤷ user they’re just THAT couple

⤷ user loveeeee

⤷ user love is the airrrr

user at this point just make a y/n account

lando.jpg liked this comment

user this man is soooo in loveeee

⤷ user she’s the same, have you seen how she looks at him or when when she’s talking about him?

⤷ user they both down bad for each other let’s be honest

danielricciardo ask her when the album coming out. please.

⤷ yourusername soon, you’ll be the first to know when it comes out.

⤷ danielricciardo yesssss

⤷ lando.jpg no fair

⤷ danielricciardo womp womp (I don’t know what that means but oscar told me to do it)

⤷ yourusername 💀

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yourusername

liked by landonorris, lando.jpg, carlossainz55 and 224,282 others

yourusername he’s always taking pictures of me, so I am sharing some pictures that I took and some I didn’t of him because apparently I don’t post him enough 🙄 (i literally have a whole highlight and 35 posts dedicated to him)

tagged landonorris + lando.jpg

view comments

user NOT THE SHAVED HEAD

user BABY LANDO

user 😭

landonorris WOW I SEE HOW IT IS

⤷ yourusername love you 😁

⤷ landonorris SURE

carlossainz55 thanks 👍🏼

⤷ yourusername I can send you more

⤷ carlossainz55 👍🏼

⤷ landonorris damn ok. rude

danielricciardo I have some more of baby lan lan if you want

⤷ yourusername YEAH YEAH

⤷ landonorris no

user lando’s next post is about to be FERAL

⤷ user they actually so funny 😭

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landonorris

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55 and 234,822,722 others

landonorris she’s still perfect

tagged yourusername

view comments

user pls she’s so funny

user where’s that cow costume from? asking for a friend

user literally made for each other

user 😭😭 y/n what is this

user she must be so fun at parties cl

yourusername hm. alright then.

⤷ user oooo landonorris!! you’re in troubleeeee

⤷ landonorris 😀

user did she buy that dinosaur head?

⤷ yourusername I did 🤭

user this is why they so perfect, they just expose embarrassing photos of each other

────────────────────────────

────────────────────────────

after much thought and consideration we are happy to announce that the IT couple of 2024 is lando norris and y/n y/l/n.

it’s clear that these two are soulmates and will be together for a very long time. we wish them nothing but the best and we look forward to seeing them live a happy life together.

- xoxo celebrity news

────────────────────────────

[lady-amalthea-antoinette]

I find it hilarious that within like a two minute interaction Rhaenys immediately clocked Alicent as a fruit. I just know she was going "ohhh, oh, I get it now" in her mind. The cherry on top being, after this realization she then proceeded to fuck with Alicent's head, telling her men ain't shit and whispering in her ear. Making Alicent basically run out of the room in a panic💀

She decides later after this whole interaction, to spare Alicent's life and her children's bc she's also a mom so she gets it. While still showing out and serving cunt in their faces "My fine ass could if I wanted to bitch, remember that"

And then she pulls a match maker, counseling Rhaenyra, basically telling her "listen girl I had a chat with your ex situationship and she was like all up on me..maybe if you talk to her all seductive like, we can stop this whole war?"

Like damn Rhaenys really was the Mother of The Gays (Laenor and book accurate Laena, I'm looking at you)

She was out here side eying every man, telling Corlys their son was a homo and they needed to protect him, making Alicent's mommy issues shiver, telling Rhaenyra to be gay do crime, and I bet she was laughing her ass off in the afterlife when she saw that RhaenyraxMysaria stuff. Bet she was screaming "I KNEW IT" with some popcorn, and her reaction was probably 10x worse at the finale. What a queen, miss her fr.

[kingofbodyrolls]

BTS fic recs: December 2023

HAPPY NEW YEARS!! 🥳 May every single one of you lovely people out there have the best and brightest year to come ✨

I want to thank each and every writer on this list for creating such wonderful stories and art - you are truly amazing ✨ All the fics on this list hold a dear place in my heart 🥹

❗Most of these fics are smutty as hell, so minors dni.❗ 

If you read anything on this list and you like it, please leave a comment to the writer or reblog the original fic’s post 💜And if you want more fic recs you can follow me to stay updated 🙂

BTS fic rec index → May | Jun | Jul | Aug | Sep (jjk)(knj) | Oct (pjm) | Nov (*) | 💜 (ksj)(kth) |

Emoji meaning → angst = 🌩️, smut = 🥵, fluff = 🥰, comedy = 😂, yandere = 😈, thriller/dark = 👻, personal favorites = 💯.

Namjoon

⭐Good Neighbor @sugaurora [0.7K] // knj x f.reader // neighbors!au, winter!au // 🥰🥰🥰

📝 Namjoon’s solitary tendencies versus the cookies. Spoiler: The cookies win.

🗨️ God, this was so fucking sweet 🥹 like sugary sweet fluffy fantastic! I loved it 💖 the way Namjoon just observes oc, and then helping her in the end 👏🏾 even though this is short, it’s fucking brilliant. The writing is just 😘😘 like I wished there was so much more, but I’m also so pleased with just what is 😌

⭐A Word from our Sponsors 💯 @ugh-yoongi [17.5K] // knj x f.reader // podcast!au, f2l, idiots to lovers  // 😂🥵🥰

📝 You’ve co-hosted a podcast with namjoon for three years; have known him even longer. the two of you have always been the picture of platonic, but that hasn’t stopped the internet from doing what the internet does. the shipping? a little weird at first, but you can understand it: two attractive twenty-somethings always in close proximity to one another, obvious (platonic!) chemistry—people have created ships for less. the fanfiction, though? also pretty funny… until you can’t stop thinking about it. 

🗨️ Okay. This. Was. Exceptional ✨🥹 I am slightly speechless, so this review might be short or long or just a rambling of my dainty thoughts. Here goes: it was amazing, seriously one of the best fics I’ve ever read 😭 everything just had that perfect flow, the writing was incredible, like I can’t even speak? The characters, out of this world fantastic ✨ the whole thing, just, perfect. Perfection. I don’t know what else to call it, sorry. The world building and tension was so fucking delicious I just ate it up! 😭 And their banter and chemistry was just off the charts amazing. Perfection. And it was so fucking hilarious too!! Many times I was just laughing or chuckling, like the lovesick fool I am 😂 it was definitely worth it to stay up late tonight to finish this masterpiece ✨ And them reading the fanfiction 💀 😂 priceless ✨👏🏾

Seokjin

⭐The IKEA Test by @yoon-bug [9.1K] // ksj x f.reader // established relationship // 🥵🥰😂

📝 One review on IKEA’s website called the BRIMNES bed frame the leading cause of divorce due to its difficult assembly. You and Seokjin had laughed when you read it. Now, you weren’t so sure.

🗨️ Their banter and all the sexual innuendos are damn hilarious! I thoroughly enjoyed this very much 💜 

⭐I Don’t Think I’m Okay by @ressjeon [4K] // ksj x f.reader // slice of life, idiots to lovers!au, childhood friends!au // 🥵🥰🌩️

📝 With many chances wasted, you couldn’t even resist anymore.

🗨️ A cute little Seokjin fic 🥰

⭐Turn Back Time 💯 by @raplinesmoon [13.3K] // ksj x f.reader // time travel!au // 🥵🥰🌩️😂

📝 After total humiliation at his middle school baseball try outs, Kim Seokjin wants nothing more than for his awkward years to fade away until he’s thirty. Cue a magic baseball glove, and his wish is finally granted. Seokjin suddenly wakes up seventeen years later, now the star pitcher of the team he’d always dreamed of playing for. Confused and overwhelmed at the prospect of the new life waiting for him, he turns to the only person who seems to understand him — you. Will Seokjin learn what it truly means to be thirty, flirty, and thriving? Or will he find himself wishing he could turn back time?

🗨️ Seokjin’s childhood/school was just, ugh, I really felt heartache for thirteen year old Seokjin 🥹 So very common as a kid, to wish you’re older – and then it’s just not what he expected at all. I really loved it! There were a few times I was laughing so damn hard, times where I was shedding a few tears as well. Just, incredibly good; very well written, the story was captivating and motivating, just yeah, brilliant. (Sorry, I’m suddenly bad with words). I loved the ‘lessons’ he learned, and then having the luxury (I’m using that word because we don’t have that irl) of going back to his childhood (almost like starting over) and damn it was good 👏💯

Yoongi

⭐Sinful Lust [series; ongoing] 💯 by @oddinary4bts [wordcount loading…] // myg x jjk x f.reader // established relationship, bisexual boyfriend!Yoongi, slice of life // 🥵🌩️

📝In an attempt to spice up your bedroom life with your boyfriend Min Yoongi, you suggest bringing another man into the action. Yoongi seems reluctant at first, but when you mention his friend Jeon Jungkook, he can’t deny his attraction. All that’s left to do is to convince Jungkook into participating…

🗨️  Holy 😱 😱 😱 this is just completely unadulterated sin 🥵🫣 I can not describe how much I love this fic! It has A LOT of angst and at times it’s just sad reading how each character falls apart 😭 it’s amazing! If you’re into stories that will have you question your own morals and who to root for, this is for you 💖

⭐In Between the Pages of You [series; ongoing] @unique-high [wordcount loading…] // myg x f.reader // s2l // 🥰😂🌩️

📝 Yoongi fell in love with you. A girl he had never even met before. Knew everything that you were made up of within 96 pages of a worn red journal with a nirvana sticker on front, with coffee and tea-stained pages that also smelled of lilacs and summer. 

🗨️ I can already tell that this story will be amazing; it’s so sweet, cute and tender. The storyline/idea is really cute and fluffy, like who wouldn’t love that?? 😭 And as someone who wrote countless journals as a teen, this one just hits differently. It’s so cute and the concept is gold 💜 I really, really look forward to reading the next chapters and what Yoongi will uncover of OC through her journal. And if he can return it to her sometime and they meet! 🥹

⭐F*ck Christmas 💯 @sailoryooons [23.4K] // myg x f.reader // f2l // 🥰🥵

📝 Making hating Christmas your entire personality was never the plan. Then again, it seems bad things only ever happen around Christmas - like discovering your fiancé cheating on you, forcing you to move back to your sleepy hometown. But Min Yoongi happens to love Christmas, and if there is one thing your very stubborn childhood crush is going to do, it’s try to reignite your Christmas spirit. Even if he has to force-feed it to you with gingerbread cookies and too-sweet eggnog. 

🗨️ Gosh, I remember reading this sometime last year and it was perfection - it still is! ✨ It’s so so so fucking good. If you haven’t read it, please do so 🥹 it’s also one of the best Christmasy fics 💜

Hoseok

⭐Ho Ho Horrible 💯 @ugh-yoongi [5.6K] // jhs x f.reader // e2l, neighbor!au, holiday!au // 🥵🥰😂

📝 (or, the one where your neighbor is a relentless christmas caroler and refuses to take a hint, but at least he's really hot.)

🗨️ No– this was just so freaking cute! 😭 Like fluffy cute and also extremely funny, just what I love. I loved this so much 💜 OC’s friendship with Tae, their banter was 💯 and then with Hobi, just so so good! It was so cute and OC’s internal dialogue is just funny 😂A really cute holiday themed Hoseok fic that I can’t recommend enough!!!! Everything was just great. Had me smiling and giggling a few times – please go read it 🥹💜

⭐Started with a Sparkle, now we’re on Fire @the-boy-meets-evil [6.5K] // jhs x f.reader // f2l // 🥵

📝 You're feeling self conscious about your recent break-up and hoseok is more than happy to teach you a thing or two.

🗨️ Really really good! I really liked it 💜 I really loved how both sweet and demanding Hoseok was, guiding oc through everything.

Jimin

⭐Couchsurfer 💯 @heartbeatan [6K] // pjm x f.reader // s2l // 🥵🥰

📝 This was left intentionally blank 🫥

🗨️ Omg this was so fucking good! 💯 First, really well written and the pacing was lovely, even though it’s short and one night they spend together 🥹 the build up of their tension and their chemistry was off the charts! So impeccably done! Fuck. I loved it ✨ it’s insane how good this story is and Jimin is just so sweet, romantic and nasty 🥵 I can’t tell you how turned on I got by the description of how Jimin handled OC, like damn 🥵 this is so fucking good, please don’t sleep on the this beauty 💖 Normally, I’m not one for one night stands, because I catch feelings for the characters, but this has a lovely ending that I loved - so fucking good!

Lol. Can not stop screaming about this one. Please go read it, fuck. PLEASE 😌 ✨

⭐Paper Hearts @namfinessed [9K] // pjm x f.reader // f2l, college!au // 🥰

📝 hearts fragile like paper, tear it or don’t?

🗨️ I think it is both cute and heartwarming, with their foolishness and stubbornness towards each other. I loved how the fic becomes full circle with the description of love by both Jimin and reader and then again at the end - really, really beautiful! 😍 I really loved this, it was well written, their friendship and love really shined through too! If you haven’t read this one yet, you really should 💜

Taehyung

⭐The Wannabe-Photographer Chronicles [series] by @gimmethatagustd [14K] // kth x f.reader // frenemies to lovers // 🥵

📝 You’re so tired of Kim Taehyung’s hipster, wannabe-photographer ass. You’re so tired of Kim Taehyung’s stupid smile and stupid jokes and stupid way of getting under your skin and sticking in your brain.

🗨️ At first I did not realize that this was a series, therefore I’ve linked to the masterlist, lol. Anyway, this series is just so fucking hot, like WHAT 🥵 There’s a lot of banter and their mutual ‘hatred’ for each other just makes this hit incredible hard. Really amazing ✨

⭐Loverboy 💯 by @kookslastbutton [7.1K] // kth x f.reader // established relationship // 🥵🥰🌩️

📝 After a startling conversation with your coworkers, you start feeling insecure about your sexual prowess. You don't initiate as much, you haven't worn lingerie yet, and you're still timid about doing much seducing with your body–are you giving your boyfriend boring sex? Taehyung reassures you that you are perfect and have nothing to worry about.

🗨️ These coworkers gotta go, okay?! 😠🤣 Planting seeds of doubt in OC’s head, no, no. Tae to the rescue!! He is so sweet in this too, yes a real ‘loverboy’ 😍 Gosh and then best friend Jimin - that was just pure gold, their relationship and how he helps OC 🥹 That is friendship goals!! A sweet, loving and comforting Taehyung fic - I loved it ✨

⭐Hush, yeah? [series; ongoing/hiatus] by @kithtaehyung [wordcount loading…] // kth x f.reader // brother’s best friend!au, music festival!au // 🥵

📝 Who knew an innocent accident could turn things so dirty..

🗨️ Pure gold ✨ — I don’t really have much to say, except GO READ IT.

⭐Under wraps by @jungkxook [15K] // kth x f.reader // e2l, fake dating // 🥵🥰

📝 There’s nothing you and taehyung seem to hate more than each other - except for christmas. having recently been dumped by your (now ex) boyfriend only seems to make this holiday even worse. but when taehyung suggests that you should pretend to be dating each other to save you both the embarrassment, pity, and bothersome questions from family and friends alike for a fun carefree month of celebrations, you can’t possibly say no.

🗨️ I just love me some good enemies to lovers AU 🥵 the relationship between OC and tae is really good, I think the tension between them was well built 👏🏾 I loved how their relationship unfolded and grew through their fake dating 🥹 the way OC realized she had feelings for him, but he had showed her before in his subtle moves, how much more he relaxed in her presence. I loved the interaction between oc and tae’s parents too, the way that they could obviously tell that OC was head over heels 😂 ah just, It was really really good! It was funny, it was comforting, and such a lovely read around Christmas! And the smut was sweet and tender (also hot!) 😍 a really great fic that I’ll add to my Christmas re-reads for years to come ✨ I loved it! Please go read it if you haven’t already 🥹

⭐Somebody Else 💯 by @jamaisjoons [4.2K] // kth x f.reader ft. yoongi // established relationship + post break up!au // 🥵🌩️

📝 Yoongi doesn’t want you anymore. but he can’t stand watching you with someone else. 

🗨️ Holy s– 🥵 I don’t even know where to begin with this one! It’s really good and the that is mainly from Yoongi’s pov makes it truly special – he is observing them and damn is it hot 🥵 Aish, really good 💯

Jungkook

Nothing this month 😞 — I AM SO SORRY that I haven’t read any with JK this month (though he is featuring in some with the other members). My JK ‘to read’ list is the LONGEST imao 😂 I’ll hopefully do better next month – but you can always check my Jungkook Library 💜

I have spend most of December being on holiday/time off, which gave me a lot of time to write my own stuff, which in the end gave me less time to read 😣 But it’s all good! I loved getting some stories and thoughts out of my head and now there’s space to read and obsess over other’s stories again 😀

Borahae 💜

[pleasehelpmeimfying]

Could I ask for sub Aventurine? Maybe he is really in his head with work and wants to not think anymore so reader pampers them and gets them in subspace? Idk up to you 💙🩵

LMFAO TURNS OUT I DONT FULLY UNDERSTAND WHAT SUBSPACE IS😭 so I’ll try my best LMFAOOO BUT ILL MAKE THE FIC SCRUMPTIOUS 😍.

(No fonts due to my lack of storage. Mb goober :( )

{Amab!sub!Aventurine, possible Aventurine OOC. Angst if you squint hard enough. Amab!top!reader, blowjob, Aventurine receiving, Shitty rushed fic. Definitely gonna edit the story line later 💀…}

Read at your own risk.

Working day in and day out. Barely any time for breaks or self pleasure. It’s either something going terribly wrong or more idiots with little common sense fucking something up.

His work was never done. Aventurine just wanted a break, something to look forward to. The lack of sleep caused bags to slowly form under his eyes. The more he became more irritable, the more he was losing his mind in this work space.

Aventurine was reading over some delays that was recently reported, to focused in his paperwork to notice you entering his office with his favorite meal. Slowly you walked towards your lover with a small smile gracing your lips. You took advantage on how.. distracted he was.

You placed the food on a nearby shelf, slowly making your way behind him. Did he suspect a thing? Absolutely not, and it was amazing. Once you made it behind him you wasted no time to cup his face from the back and give him gentle kisses all over the left side of his face.

Did it startle him? Oh absolutely. Aventurine momentarily frozen in place, quickly recovering to a sly smile and weak chuckling. He should’ve known your ass would pull some shit like this. Yet he couldn’t resist melting into your warmth! You treated him all to well, and deep down he was still confused why anyone would choose to love someone like him.

“Aventurine, how long have you been working? You haven’t been home in a while.. I was getting worried something.. might’ve happened.”

Your worry and concern for his well being made his heart grow and grow. Filling up with unthinkable amount of love just for you. How long has it been since you held him? How long was it since he felt your love? To long perhaps. Still his eyes lingered at the work in front of him. Staring up at him with blank areas still to fill out.

Aventurine let out a stifled breath. His annoyance slowly creeping back at him. He just needed a little more time to finish before he was sure he wasn’t sure this man was dying rn that he was done for the night. Regretfully he would say the same thing as he did all those others times before.

“Hm, I need to get back to this. I swear I’m almost done my love. Just need more time..”

Genuinely you weren’t really paying much attention to what he was saying. Blocking him out with a playful smile. Then before he knew it, your guided his face to look at yours and placed more deeper kisses on his gorgeous face. Luring him to you. Did he care? Nahh..

You moved a bit away, taking your hands off his face. He felt his heart drop. Just a little bit! Before he saw you push his chair further from his desk so you could get better access to him. That damn back side of the chair was killing you slowly 💀.

“Your eyes.. you look so tried baby. I can’t allow you to keep working like this. How about we go home and get some rest, yea?”

Aventurine did NOT feel like moving. He just wanted to just slump against his chair. Though he would rather die than tell you that. So let’s put on that infamous poker face shall we?

He looked at you and gave you a smile. Weakly nodding in an attempt to play through his false facade. Did your bitch ass notice it? Yes and it was both concerning and hilarious. So you decided to cup his face one more time and bless his ears with your words. And in between words you kept squishing his face:3

“Second thought.. how bout we stay here just a little while longer. Relax a bit before you rush back home.”

Aventurine didn’t know what to do. First you wanted to go and now you wanna stay? Eh, he’ll just go with the flow. Though your hands felt so warm and soft. Once again he melted into your touch.. Then his mind wondered to places it shouldn’t have. First ranging to sweet thoughts, then to some more.. let’s say delusional thinking. Next thing you know as he has a ranging boner.

He knew that you knew about his problem. Probably why he turned into a whining mess in the next 42 minutes..

Hands tangled in your locks as he kept buckling into your mouth. Aventurine bit biting his bottom lips as muffled whines were forced out of his throat. Tears ready to spill at any moment as you kept going. Slurping his length without much care as your hands forced his thighs apart.

“<Y/N>.. please! I c-can’t hold- Nmmph! Hold I-It!♡︎”

Your mouth was warm and wet it almost made him go crazy. Aventurine didn’t know how your jaw wasn’t in agony by now. Forgot that thought, his lower half was absolutely being destroyed by you. Legs shaking as he tugged your hair one last time before combusting in your sweet mouth.

A gurgled moan slipped through Aventurine throat as the tears finally spilt. Back arching as his legs kept opening and closing. He just didn’t know what to do, what a poor baby.

“Shitshitshitshitshit… OohhHH! MmpPHH♡︎!”

His mind went completely blank. Not a single thought resided in that beautiful brain of his. Only tears and pleasure clouded his mind. He didn’t even notice you take his cock out of your mouth. He was just to fucked out honestly.

Aventurine body was twitching as he took deep breaths, trying to hold to some kind of saintly.

Maybe he would’ve finish his work later if he even remembered.