#higuchi never denied it either

[suguelya]

Following your section examples :D

Mobile games & Loc:

Oh man, idk if you were there for global Rays but that was some very hazardous translation. Iirc they kept trying to translate Cless' constant puns with a really old-timey language for some reason? What truly deterred me though was the way they not only mistranslated but, similarly to ToV's eng localization, sometimes completely changed the original line. The biggest example I can think of would be Raven, back at the very beginning in one scene where he told Yuri and the others to go ahead while he dealt with some monsters and to which Yuri replied in JP something like "Don't overdo it, old man"...somehow they chose to translate it as "I don't want to lose you". Like ??? None of these words were in the original lmao. It's ooc enough that it worried me they'd keep mistranslating stuff going forward, and the knowledge that they wouldn't be able to botch even more characters (or yknow, Fluri, to stay topical) was my only consolation when the global servers shut down. I'd only want global Rays back if they were able to stay true to Rays' very conscious choice of words.

As for Cresty, I too think the translations were pretty good - a tiny bit too much gen z/internet slang in there for my taste but at least it didn't feel ooc! And I so agree with your frustrations re: transgressor Yuri, I'm still haunted just as you are that we were left hanging this way. I'd even have preferred never to have seen him because this tiny crumb was enough to start my curiosity engine...his design looked so good, too....we could've had it all ;o;

Since my opinion of Asteria wasn't very high (they favored a lot of the same characters over others and especially Estelle with little regard for Flynn) I was very cautious regarding Crestoria. Asteria loved to fuel Yu//stelle (notably with the awful wedding events, which Rays thankfully turned into Ristelle) so I was worried which way Cresty's pendulum would swing, and I think it shut down right before we could've known for sure...there were hints like Flynn's cameo in one of the events, their colors/faces being close to each other in other characters' artworks, and I'm sure he would've been involved in Yuri's sidestory, but I wanted to wait and see for certain before I let my guard down. Guess we'll never know, but the bits you've talked about for a hypothetical fic truly entice me!! I hope you'll go through with it!

Concerning Troy not coming back as Yuri, I think I've heard somewhere that Bamco did not call him back because he had unionized since 2008 and Bamco wasn't willing to go along with the rules set by the Union. Having worked 6 months at the European Bamco headquarters for an internship last year, I can sort of see that being true. Corporates are gonna corporate...that said, they could have had the tact to at least tell Troy about it. Grant George is...okay-ish if you're a casual but yeah, his additions aren't so much jarring as they are very "off". It's the uncanny valley of voice acting lol. I guess the closest they could've come to Troy was Matt Mercer but I'm pretty sure he's unionized, too. Grant must have been the 3rd choice, alas not a very good one.

I understand being attached to the Eng because of nostalgia but personally I've left it behind ever since I first heard the JP voices and so probably don't have to worry about much (unless Mamo or Tori pull a Sakurai, here's crossing fingers they don't).

Arise/Xillia/Zesty:

Aw, man, I see this is where our opinions diverge haha. Personally I had an awful, awful time with Arise because while the first half is decent enough, the gameplay is insufferable and the skits a chore to get through (lost all their anime charm and are nothing but infodumps). And then the het just keeps ramping up in the second half to become all-consuming, much at the expense of the already weak story. Tbh Kisara and Rinwell were the only ones I fully appreciated, despite Kisara's writing reducing her to a Hot Mom Friend and Rinwell's arc against that witch character making no sense. The rest are ranking from meh to absolute garbage in my opinion, especially Shionne for whom I had such hopes at first. She seemed like such an interesting and strong female heroine, and then turned into Estelle 2.0 with tsundere topping and a bonus het marriage & housewife package deal ending. I kept hoping their romance would remain left open like some of the past ones but this is the most openly het a Tales game has ever been (except maybe for Stahn and Rutee having a kid, but even then Stahn has more romantic chemistry with Leon). Trying to sort every single character into neat het pairs with little cross-interactions so there's no room to interpret anything else feels like an absolute slap in the face after the last couple entries tbh.

Arise juste felt like Okuda's wet dream come to life and the further I went into the story, the less interested and the more annoyed I became. That battle mechanics were actual hell like I've rarely experienced in a game before - I'm sorry but Cure Points are the worst feature they've ever come up with, especially since they cost an arm and a leg and money is even more sparse than in X2, and the bosses are overpowered as fuck even on easy. They even had to add an extra easier level shortly after release because the late-game dungeons were unbeatable (final boss battle made me cry tears of blood).

So yeah, I curse Tomizawa for this game that wasn't even supposed to be a Tales game, according to interviews he kinda forced the remaining original Tales devs, most of whom had already deserted to join Scarlet Nexus, to make this random game into a Tales entry. He even admitted himself that people were reluctant to his ideas at first but he "managed to push through" lol...add to that the ridiculous avalanche of merch and events Arise has been spoiled with in the past 2 years and you can see why a lot of the longtime fanbase has had enough of it.

Generally there's been a sense of disillusion lately, because the last 2 years have seen a huge decrease in general Tales merch/events (save for Arise ofc) and a disinterest by Tomizawa for the legacy he's supposed to represent as Producer. Remasters are being made with only a fraction of the effort, care and budget Arise stuff gets, traditions like the tales of orchestra or yearly livestreams are being cut, the few merch we get that isn't about Arise or The Top 5 Popular Guys are all just het hero/heroines sets, older games are being left behind to collect dust and never see the light of a localization day...right now the future of Tales seems kind of empty and uncertain. I do hope it gets better, and soon, but with Tomizawa at the helm I'm very doubtful.

On a brighter note, though, I actually really loved the Xillias. X2 is especially close to my heart since it was a far cry from Zesty's disappointment in almost every way...idk, I liked the choice mechanic a lot and you can unlock Ludger's voice in NG+! Also this is the first Tales game after Vesperia and Graces to make me cry, those endings killed me. Ludger and Elle are very dear to me and the affinity system let me pair up him and Jude to my heart's desire, the closest to Symphonia's at that point I believe! Queer-wise it's got its fair share of representation, too - at least in the localization, oddly enough haha. But that's all a matter of opinion and yours is super valid!

Queerness:

Yes it's those two NPCs I was talking about! My friend and I kept joking that they're on a world-trip honeymoon during our playthrough.

As for the Heliord knight, oh man, you have to check him out whenever you get the chance, his dialogue changes depending on the character you main and the arc you're in. Honestly I was kind of blown away by the explicity of his lines when they were shown to me. It's why I'm adamant they are genuine rep. A few of my favorites:

This guy is down bad for Flynn lmao (same, though).

As for Estelle, I'm so glad you agree since in my 12 years of fandom I've only come across a handful of people who don't worship her lmao. Would love to discuss that in private (maybe discord?) because fandom decided disliking a female character while also shipping an m/m pair makes you a nasty yaoi-obsessed fujoshi, which has made me lose all motivation to talk about it publicly lest I get called a misogynist again >>

I agree though that it is ridiculous how often people just skip sibling relationships in m/f when it's such a precious concept. I have 2 younger sisters and very much would burn the world to keep them safe, like that's not exclusive to romance at all. And as you mentioned before, he's just as concerned for Karol in the Blade Drifts so if Karol had been in Estelle's place Yuri would have acted the exact same way!! There's no romance to be had when he's protecting her out of a sense of duty and brotherly love. And yet there's still folks out there blind to that...sigh. Even Tori's sick of it haha.

Alisha is such a step-up from her, though, even if on the surface she shares the "pink princess" title. The entire fiasco with her and Rose was a stupid mess of an overreaction - at least at first, because the reason japanese fans riotted was that Bamco falsely adverstised Alisha as the heroine when Rose ended up taking much more space in the game, and it angered the waifu bros...but on the other hand, the reason why Rose took up more space in the first place is worth being upset over, too. Apparently Fujishima slept with Rose's VA and favored her in the plot late in the game's writing, creating this whole mess. In the end only Rose's VA paid the price as she had to publicly apologize during the following Talesfes, while Fujishima came off scot-free and to this day keeps working for Tales. Gotta love sexism. Hideo Baba also "quit" but it wasn't solely because of this problem, there were rumors of him being a bit of a pervert backstage as well (haven't found a lot online to back that up tho so take that info with a grain of salt).

Oh and regarding the TalesFes Tori episode, I guess I kind of agree? It's not not uncomfortable, at least. I think what bothers me more than Onosaka's "But she's the princess!" is his "違う違う" right after Tori yells the "I love you" meant for Flynn. It's kind of rude and invalidating imo, proof that he's not as on board with it even for the joke (which makes little sense to me as he always toes the homoerotic line with Konishi himself, anyway). So yeah in that regard I understand what you mean, even if Tori's response feels less like an response to Onosaka's remark and more like an explanation for the crowd that voted Yuri & Estelle lmao. Also because he's king.

I'm a little sad they've stopped making drama CDs altogether but given the serie's current direction, maybe that's for the better. There are incredible ones like the Cinderella play or the handcuffs episode, but others I like way less like Estelle daydreaming about Flynn and Yuri switching places in her rescue, or the girls having a stereotyped "which guy do you have a crush on" pillow talk. It's very much a mixed bag. It's also the same reason I'd be very wary of any Vesperia sequel simply because I have not trusted Bamco with it since TalesFes 2017. I do not trust them not to fuck up again, especially since Rita's VA joked about it being about a next gen story (speak: a hero/heroine child like Destiny 2) during a radio event some years ago. Even an anime adaptation scares me because of the potential for fuck ups lmao.

I'll just take the Vesperia we have now and enjoy it as it is with all its parts, good and bad, thank you very much ✨

I am 100 percent with you on preferring the JP line in that cutscene if only because it does feel more powerful (and his voice is SO soft, which is something that frequently gets completely lost in the dub in general. Mamoru carries a much softer tone overall for Flynn, similar to how Yuri's playfulness and carefree vibe got lost in favor of the dub's aim for a more "cool adult guy").

That said, I was not even aware they left the whistle out!!! I haven't bothered with that sidequest because the outfit is readily available for free as DLC.

While I enjoy having Flynn present in the last battle, I wish they'd just had him look back up at the sky and say that right next to Yuri right before the very end of the cutscene (since imo that'd be the best placement for it). No reason not to stick that back in!!!

But removing the whistle is just an outright crime and I am owed a fee from the people who decided that for the devastation I've been inflicted with.

Big same 🤝

I used to be such a fan of the eng dub but tbh ever since I experienced the original japanese (back when we still called it the PS3 Version lol) I never looked back. The wording is so, so, SO much more layered and leaves little room to misinterpret subtleties and subtext. Like you, I've had many gripes about the localization because sometimes they just plain insert stuff that was never there in the first place - iirc Troy Baker admited that apparently they rushed the dub so hard, sometimes the voice actors themselves were asked to chip in for the translation...he said he loved that (I'll bet), but that might explain why so much of the OG english script was already full of weird phrasings and insertions...add to that the even more sloppy and lazy DE localization and you get only half of the richness of the original japanese.

Also yes Mamo and Tori *are* Flynn and Yuri more than anybody ever could be. Sam and Troy do a good enough job but I agree that Troy may have been directed to play Yuri closer to a traditional "cool bad boy", which is hilarious given how the original Yuri is a twist on that very trope. Unfortunately, Troy gave him this uncharacteristically cold/aggressive edge whenever he talks to Flynn that it makes it sound like he's always annoyed to see him, and it strips their relationship of so much of the softness and playfulness that Tori lends Yuri.

Anyway enough about me ranting because I could go on for about 10 more hours about this issue lmao. Honestly yeah they very well could've rearranged Flynn's cutscene to fit in there at the end, like hell if you can change the entire camera angles of whole scenes you can change that one background, no?? Knowing Tomizawa though that might have been more effort than he was willing to grant this remaster - won't be his last time.

Same for the wolf whistling!! They replaced it with a skit that is just as funny...

....but void of the insane flirting the original had. Idek why they went so far as to change it, it would've been less work to just leave it as it was 😭

[fyotherat]

May i request headcanons of Ranpo, Dazai, Lucy and jouno with a s/o who hates being alone?

Like always afraid of being alone with their thoughts and uses other people to distract themselves from them and is afraid of them leaving and abandoning them? Could be angst or fluff or both i dont really mind!

-🥀

Abandonment Issues

Characters: Ranpo, Dazai and Jouno

Warnings: None I assume?

Note: Thank you for requesting! I wrote for Lucy but I'll share it together with Yosano and Higuchi on a second part!

Ranpo

It wasn't usual for you to be separated in the first place, you two were always clinging to each other like koalas.

Because of that, it took a while for him to catch a glimpse of how you felt and behaved when left alone.

He couldn't deny that he felt the same in some situations, you are what feels like home to him, and he never enjoyed leaving your side.

As much of a direct person he is, he wouldn't directly confront you about it, he knew you couldn't help it.. so he decided to do his part to make you feel as safe as possible even without him by your side.

Long cuddle sessions are a must before any mission, or any outing for that matter! He will subtly do his best to let you know he isn't going anywhere.

If he has to be gone for a while, he would make sure to leave some of your favorite candies around the house for you to find, I can even imagine him leaving sticky notes with random compliments and cute faces drawn on them!

"Da-daan! y/n found the hidden candy! 10 points from the world's greatest detective!(･v<)☆"

And if you need a distraction? He would be glad to leave some of Poe's newest mystery novels for you to solve, they're too easy for him anyway!

Dazai

He is similar, even if he doesn't show it to you, he always has that lingering anxiety about you leaving him behind.

He knew it was unlikely but.. what if you somehow learned about his past? Learned about the horrendous things he did without a second thought..? Or maybe you would just find someone better than him..

With those thoughts always in the back of his mind, he didn't have a problem catching onto yours either, he was sharp after all.

It would take a while for him to find a solution or something to distract you from those thoughts.. he didn't have the best ways of distraction, as his first resolute was turning to the bottle, and the fact that he sometimes disappeared for days didn't really help your case.

But he had to find a way to ease your mind and distract you from those thoughts and fears.

He started with small gestures, maybe draping his coat over your shoulders before leaving to visit a crime site would suggest to you that he will be back?

He already declares his undying love to you a hundred times a day, but that was just a part of his personality, playful and teasing.. so he decides to do something a bit more proper, at least before long missions.

Taking your hands in his, he would lean in with a promise, a promise he swore he'll never break.

"No matter what, I'll come back home to you."

Jouno

The hardest case is by far Jouno... He knows how attached you are to him, and something about it brings joy to this sadistic man. Saying words like this.. with that damned smile..

"My my, can't live without me y/n? Too bad I have to leave for work now."

His words of teasing weren't helping you at all, even a small joke about him 'maybe not coming back' from a mission made your stomach curl.

One day, after a long mission that took him away from you, he returned home just to pause at the doorstep, with his sharpened senses he could hear your silent tears.

But the question was.. why were you crying..? It couldn't be because you felt alone.. right..?

With a sigh, he opened the door, closing and locking it behind him.

That night, he finally caved in to listen to your growing fears and your displeasure about his teasing.

How could he keep hurting you for his own amusement when you clung onto him so tightly and sobbed silently in his arms..?

[ciaossu-imagines]

akutagawa ryunosuke + 💖 still from the misc ask meme

Oh, this was a really good one! I had fun writing this, even if it is rather short, and I instantly knew the answer I wanted to give and all the words just came pouring out right. That’s a feeling that, as any writer can tell you, is just both miraculous and one of the world’s best feelings. Thanks so much for sending in the ask and letting me have that feeling! I appreciate you so much 😊

How and how often do they try to impress their partner(s)? How and how often do their partner(s) impress them?

A large part of Akutagawa is that he really is someone who is very motivated by, and anxious for, outside approval. We see it all throughout the canon storyline, especially in regards to Dazai but also with others. He thrives off of outside approval, he’s so hungry for it that it’s as if he’s a starving beast – he becomes ambitious, becomes primally driven to obtain more and more of that approval.

I really do think that that need for someone else’s approval definitely extends to any partner Akutagawa takes. I think it’s a large part of why, I feel, despite the obvious love Higuchi holds for him and his obvious respect and regard for her, there’s just no real chemistry and click to them. She already holds too much admiration for him right from the get-go and Akutagawa…he needs to have someone who supports him, yes, but he also kind of needs a partner who keeps him hungry for that admiration from them. He needs someone who makes him feel driven to seek more and more of their approval and their favour, because there is such a large part of him that feels that that is necessary to a relationship. He’s had such a warped view of what qualifies as ‘stable’ or ‘devoted’ relationships due to meeting Dazai and due to his life within that Mafia that he really does hold the belief that he needs to always be working at gaining someone’s approval, needs to always be upping their expectations of him, needs to constantly be gaining their admiration and needs to stay desperately hungry and driven to get even so much as a compliment every now and then. It is by no means a healthy view, but Akutagawa is honestly not a very healthy individual, either in body or in mind, and he really doesn’t even know where to begin fixing that, if he ever got it in mind to, though his mind is definitely not in the place of ‘let’s fix all my trama and unhealthy, codependent bonding��.

On top of everything I’ve already mentioned, I really do believe that Akutagawa is just someone who really would enjoy impressing his partner. He adores making them smile or making them happy. He’s also a terribly jealous man, and he feels like, by working so hard to impress them continually, he’ll always keep their eyes on him and so they can never be tempted by another person.

We also see, canonically, that when Akutagawa does have a high opinion of someone, if Akutagawa genuinely likes and cares about a person, he’s pretty quick to put them up on a kind of pedestal (ie: Dazai). Obviously, if Akutagawa is in a relationship with someone, it’s because they’ve proven that they’re not only worthy of his respect, but that they’re someone so amazing that he just couldn’t deny his feelings towards them any longer. He will have the bad tendency of putting his partner up on a pedestal. He will defend them to the death – nothing they do is wrong. They’re always impressing him. Everything they do is the right thing. He constantly finds himself admiring them, and while that’s a lovely thing, and good in small doses, it can put a lot of pressure on his partner to live up to this dream version he has going of them.

[ininsulaavalonia]

SNK officially ended today and it's been a much more overwhelming experience than I would've thought. The manga left me feeling apathetic - it killed my interest in this series for what, a year? Two? So I had 0 reasons to think the anime would coax anything else out of me.

...

I was wrong. Admittedly, not like we're talking purely positive emotions here - I still have a lot of resentment, bitter regret and the itch to shake all the yens out of Isayama's pockets. But even so. I guess I should've known better - the writing has [had] its flaws. The voice acting and the music/score, tho? Never did. Not a one.

Add to that MAPPA's mindboggling dedication and passion for the craft and source material. I'm not perfectly happy with them for very biased reasons [they did away with a few of my RM crumbs], but no sane person could ever deny that they knocked it out of the fuckin park. They did all that while juggling 9620 other major franchises [and killing it there, too]. Ufotable will always be my #1, but MAPPA has come very close these past few years. Just hope everyone who worked on SNK post-changing hands gets to take pride in their work and maybe actually like.see their families or smth, lol.

But yeah - I will never be able to stress this enough: like at least 60% of the reason SNK had the ridiculous impact on me it did, of the reason it will be remembered as a classic/ legendary series, despite its flaws, of the reason precious few fictional works, irrespective of genre/medium will hope to ever even come close to the level of pure, raw exhilaration and emotional immersion SNK served on a pretty regular basis...was [and always will be] Sawano's masterpiece. Yamamoto has proven himself to be an A+ understudy/disciple 'Ashes on the Fire' will always slap], and ofc the likes of Linked Horizon, Ai Higuchi, Mika Kobayashi and all the other contributing artists deserve their fair share of laurels. But this score will always be Sawano's baby. I've a lot of comfort/fave soundtracks and the like; I can't remember one that did so much for its story, tho. Complemented its own brilliance this incandescently and profoundly.

And ofc the seiyuus were always excellent. That was not news to me. I'll always sing Kamiya's praises and keep Yui's future roles on my radar [and Marina almost stole the show here]. But most of my respect and admiration -sheer awe of, really- has to go to Yuki Kaji. He has such an incredible body of work, but I'd be shocked if people genuinely thought this, Eren's part,*wasn't* his defining performance. The role of a lifetime. It's not just his VA chops, either- the man's a pro in every sense of the word. Despite what Isayama put Eren through, despite that BS insult of an ending [painted in the most pathetic and pitiful colours, for all the world to see] that MAPPA sadly didn't alter [...made it worse, actually, what with Isayama's revisions/ additions and all] - he still gave it his all, still tried to see things through Eren's perspective to the bitter, mockable end. K I N G.

I wish I could heap this kinda praise on the writing, too. Sadly, this will stay one of my biggest frustrations and regrets re: any fictional work I've ever consumed. Isayama's expanding on the Armin-Eren heartfelt talk at the end made me feel, either successively or simultaneously. soft, emotional and mournful... and/or horrified, outraged and baffled by what his messaging seemed to make even more explicit/ double down on: that Eren, the protag the audience/readers got to see grow, the one they came to emotionally invest in? Was really just an 'idiot with too much power'. Ultra!Hitler stripped of his perceived alpha traits: just a lonely, pathetic, petulant, ridiculous *boy*. And while the 'I'll go to hell with you' spiel from Armin was one of the things that turned on the waterworks for me, I fully reject this attempt by the narrative to paint him in similar, bloodstained colours [or maybe I don't reject it - even if that were true, Armin will always be a hero to me. And sadly, my 2nd fave character after what Isayama did to Mikasa's character].

I'm just so fucking tired and angry by this nihilistic, cynical trend of backstabbing your audience/readers for the grave offence of their placing their trust in you. GOT did it first, ofc -and Isayama went 'hold my beer', apparently-. But the thing that makes this even more frustrating and painful - is that unlike those 2 fucking hacks, Isayama is an actual writer. A fantastic one / credit where credit is due [and funnier than he's usually given credit for, as the finale reminded me]. His skill isn't the issue - his cynicism / 'nothing is sacred' attitude is. The fact that he just yeets characters' dignities out the window can and has added so much heartache, tragedy and realism to his story and his overall style. But it also leads to this sort of betrayal.

I guess the underlying message of 'how to live with the horrible things you did for others/ for your own survival' is pretty hopeful. Armin's 'I felt like I was born for this moment', the ~it's the apparently pointless, little things, and the people you share them with that you have to hold on to and cherish ~ point has always, will always resonate with me. But I doubt it will ever be enough to get rid of all the bitterness [also: not even gonna get into Founder!Ymir, that shitty parallel to Mikasa, and that entire 'BECAUSE LOVE' clusterfuck. This isn't real life, Isayama. Fiction needs a why. YOU KNOW THIS]

Sigh. Anyway. In the end, even the fact that I felt this strongly, considering... is also a testament to the insane sort of impact this story is capable of. SNK -and RM [and Levi! The one good thing not even Isayama managed to taint -*...knock on wood*- That beautiful, awkward, baddest-of-the-baddies KING. The heart, soul and embodiment of the Scouting Legion-]- have meant so much to me - were a lifeline in the aftermath of the worst thing I've ever experienced. I'll never forget that sense of unique, intense exhilaration I felt while watching the first few episodes, a decade ago, in a Durham seminar room. Or the rollercoaster every feeling I'd ever had --and a buncha new ones- went on those following nights, as I binged the remaining episodes and the manga. Or RM. I wish things could have been different. But that doesn't mean I'll ever throw it out of my mental and emotional Hall of Fame. Thank God for fanfic.

That and. I *will* always carry that weight, I guess.

[frankenjoly]

Gin headcanons dump post

And there’s Tachigin and Higugin.

Nb (he/she/they), bi, polyamorous and a “doesn’t mind having sex” kind of asexual.

Doesn’t really mind pronouns and only will correct people when they straight up say “you’re a man/woman???” and if he’s in the mood for doing so.

Her and Ryûnosuke are pretty close, even if maybe not in the most conventional way, while also being independent.

The siblings are only one year apart.

Since their brother gave him the first face masks, she always has one either on or ready to wear.

Adamantly refuses to smoke, for the sake of keeping their lungs as healthy as possible. Not doing it would mean making all her brother’s care go to waste.

Drinks and drives from even before being of legal age for doing so, but she has enough common sense not to mix both.

They always have a knife with him, no matter the situation.

Can sleep pretty much everywhere, and also wakes up easily if something happens.

Remembering names and faces takes almost no effort to him, and nicknames also stick.

Apart from the spiky bun they wear at work, she also likes ponytails and braided hairdos.

Gin’s dressing style goes from what he wears at the mafia to what they wear casually when Katai sees her, and there’s a lot of in-betweens (mainly inspired by their mayoi cards).

Also likes having tons of pockets no matter the clothes.

Sings beautifully, but she’s not a big fan of doing it in public.

They don’t go wasting tons of money, but never denies himself anything now she has financial stability.

Doesn’t like being addressed with “-chan” but ‘cause it sounds infantilizing.

Has tinder since one night Tachihara and her were very drunk and dared each other.

He’s quite wary of Dazai due to how he treated her brother.

Hirotsu, on the other way, is more of a parental figure to them.

Knows a bit of French thanks to Verlaine.

Getting together with Tachihara goes sooner and easier than with Higuchi, since Higuchi’s simping over Ryûnosuke makes Gin need to be sure they’re not going to be her rebound.

Is clingier than one may think, but only gets physically affectionate when there’s some kind of trust.

Doesn’t hate her voice, but sometimes they see it as an obstacle when trying to appear intimidating.

[sonder-paradise]

"Happy Birthday to You"

Happy Birthday to the greatest person in the world! :D Give him all the love and praise in the entire universe please istg lemme marry him okay bye- (Not proofread. We die like simps)

Chuuya Nakahara x GN!Reader

The day had been rather magical, to say the least. In retrospect, it was obvious that it was going to be wonderful since the Port Mafia had been planning it for a week or so. It was no surprise that Nakahara Chuuya was a popular person in the Mafia. He was fair and considerate towards the people that worked under him as well as respectful towards the people above him.

So the day had been filled with many people praising and congratulating the redhead on his birthday. Chuuya was happy to see that the organization that he called family was greeting him with such genuine love. Mori had offered him the day off, but he denied it, claiming that there was no reason for him not to go to work. There really wasn't. And Chuuya was not the type of person to go around demanding that people wish him a "happy birthday" either.

Everyone except you, of course. He was certain that out of everyone he would meet today, you would smile that lovesick smile at him and happily wish him a "happy birthday". But you didn't. Instead, you seemed to go about the day as if there was nothing momentous about the day.

Chuuya wasn't about to admit how he was disheartened a little--more like a lot--at your ignorance towards the day. He was looking forward to spending the day with you after work. Sure, he was happy to hear that people were planning a party for him later, but he wanted to spend some alone time with you at the same time.

However, it seemed that time could grant him no chance to even get close to you. In the hallways, you smiled normally at him before muttering something about having to work on something important. When he approached your office, you seemed to be leaving at the exact same time. "Chuuya, I'm sorry. Did you need something?"

"Wai- Well, no, but what-"

"Ah, let's talk later, hm? I've got to pick something up real quick." With that, he was given a light kiss on the cheek, and then you were gone again. Eventually, he gave up trying to get you to talk to him at all. He had gotten a "happy birthday" from just about everyone except for you. It was certainly not the best way to spend his birthday, but he couldn't really whine about it either.

That didn't mean that his pouty manner didn't go unnoticed by Kouyou and the others. "Maybe they're genuinely just busy," Tachihara suggested, leaning against the plush sofa in the resting area.

Higuchi was happily serving Akutagawa some fresh tea; This time remembering to bring an extra cup for Chuuya as well as Kouyou, as she had made a rare show to confront Chuuya's disheartened behavior.

"Exactly," Kouyou piped up, "Mori has been rather heavy on the paperwork these days."

"Listen, I'm not annoyed over anything! I just don't understand how they could forget!" Chuuya crossed his arms over his chest, clearly bothered over the entire thing.

The people around him didn't even seem to need to acknowledge verbally that he was annoyed you hadn't given him the time of day.

"Don't get so down, Nakahara-san! I'm sure they're just planning something just for you!" Higuchi said, clasping her hands together optimistically.

Although the others seemed unsure of the authenticity of her words, Chuuya seemed to agree somewhat with her.

"Yeah... That's probably the case. I just need to be patient!" Chuuya appeared to be better and so the group disbanded shortly after his mood had escalated.

But as the day went on begrudgingly, Chuuya was worried that perhaps Higuchi's words were really just optimistic bullshit. It was his birthday so surely you hadn't forgotten! You would never forget such an important day. It was so uncharacteristic of you to not remember him. Chuuya's mood had only seemed to worsen from there. He was irritable and upset over the smallest things and as much as he didn't want to admit it, even if it wasn't his birthday, he missed you around him more than anything.

It wasn't until he returned home, with a miserable aura around him, that he seemed to realize that maybe Tachihara had been correct. You were just so busy that you had forgotten his birthday.

"Chuuya! Welcome home!"

He blinked, looking up to see you sitting at the kitchen table with a lovesick grin. He usually came back home much later than you, but he was surprised to see that you looked almost out-of-breath looking at him with all the love he had missed today.

"I thought you were busy today?" He raised an eyebrow, curious to see how you would amend this mistake you seemed to have made.

You laughed, going over to him and hugging him as tightly as he allowed. Chuuya silently admitted that he wouldn't have traded that embrace for the world. "I was a little busy, but I promise I would never forget your birthday, Chu~!"

His cheeks brightened when he heard your words, clearly embarrassed that you had picked up on his bad mood due to your actions. "I don't know what you're talking about, idiot," he mumbled under his breath, "It wasn't like I was pissed off or anything. I mean, you're here now, right?"

"Yes, and I'm not going anywhere now. So happy birthday, Chuuya."

The words that he had been craving to hear all day seemed to melt his entire body. He didn't realize how deprived he was of you and in that moment, hearing you wish him those words he wanted nothing more than to pepper you with all the devotion in the world.

But he was happily kissed first and he immediately sunk into that action. His arms wrapping around your waist and trying to keep you close once more. He would have never admitted it but he wanted to make sure he heard those precious words from you every year.

"So, why the hell were you so busy today?"

You looked almost sheepish as you looked back at him before going over to the large box at the kitchen table. Behind it was a small cake with pristine writing on it, a bottle of his favorite vintage wine, and another smaller box beside that.

He stared at the box then back to you quizzically. "You spent the whole damn day getting me a present?" You rolled your eyes at his words before tapping the box's lid. It was then he realized it was loose.

"Just open the box, Chibi."

Chuuya seemed to want to retort to the nickname before deciding to just do as you said. Going over to the box, he realized that it was actually much bigger than normal. As he went to pull the lid off, the box shifted entirely, startling him.

"What the hell-" Then, as the lid came off and then fell from his hands, a little golden puppy barked happily up at the redhead. His mouth dropped instantly as he stared at the dog in awe.

"Chuuya...? Do you like him?" You asked, smiling at his stunned expression. He looked as though he had just entered the gates of Heaven. The mafioso said nothing, picking up the dog as if it was a delicate and expensive vase.

"You got me a dog?!" he finally exclaimed, looking almost childish as he looked to you for confirmation. You nodded at him whilst the puppy wriggled and squirmed in his arms, trying to lick his new owner.

"Of course. Check the small box next to it." That grin on your face seemed to say it all as he instantly went to the smaller box, prying it open and looking at the black and red collar that likely fit perfectly around the dog's neck.

There really was nothing Chuuya could say about the situation. This was more than he could have ever imagined and all of this had led back to you of all people. You had remembered after all and that's really all he had wanted.

You were quickly enveloped in a tight embrace once the dog was placed back on the floor. You happily hugged him back, pressing a quick kiss against his lips. "Thank you. Thank you so fucking much."

"I know, I know... Happy Birthday, Chuuya."

[kickingstonesandbones]

ADA: Songs the BSD characters remind me of (even though no one asked)

I’ve recently watched all 3 seasons of the Anime, the movie and the OVA and have started reading the Manga from the beginning. Right now I am only at chapter 40 because I started reading like 2 days ago, so idk stuff that would happen after the Anime storyline (if it goes that much further than season 3 ending, I wouldn’t know). I based this off on either specific lyrics that made me think it would fit the character or a certain vibe I was getting from a character. For some characters it was easier, for some not so much lol It is why some characters have multiple songs that make me think of them while others only have one (if they even do have one, that is – but the ADA does, except for Katai). So please do not rip into me because you think a song might not fit them as well as I do, because I just have not gotten to the latest chapter of the Manga yet, so there are some characters I do not know that well yet but I wanted to do this for fun. Other than that, I hope you enjoy this list~ Also, feel free to add to my list if you have songs that I haven’t mentioned but think would fit the characters, if you want to~

My taste in music is also pretty broad and not limited to certain languages or genres (though I do have my preferences), so I will provide translations of the lyrics in different languages from English. The German ones (like Kontra K, Elif, etc.) were translated by myself (on the spot), for other languages like Romanian or Korean, etc. I had to look up translations on the internet.

Disclaimer: For the songs for Dazai, one might want to consider a TW, for one of his songs has extremely open-no-room-for-speculation suicidal lyrics. If this affects you, please skip that one, I will put that song last on his list.

And, well, because this is 12 pages long in the document, I will be making a cut here…

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𝔸𝔻𝔸 𝕚𝕟 𝕘𝕖𝕟𝕖𝕣𝕒𝕝

💙 Wölfe (Wolves) by Kontra K 💙

It’s about so much more than just strength, it’s about solidarity and virtue / It runs so much deeper than your wounds could ever get / We’re walking through the fire together until the day we die […] /

And we are so infinitely far away from being perfect / But what doesn’t kill us will make us stronger / And hope dies last / It dies last /

A lot of the members have been through quite some shit, but they hold it together all the time and always pull through and manage to keep moving forward sooo (some random arsehole I talked to spoilered me about Yosano and Mori  -_-)

💙 Born For This by The Score 💙

A force that they can’t stop / They just don’t get it, I think they forget / I’m not done until I’m on top / I know I was born for this / I know I was born for this […] /

We are the warriors, who learned to love the pain / We come from different places but have the same name / ‘Cause we were born for this / We are the broken ones, who chose to spark a flame / Watch as our fire rages, our hearts are never tame /

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ℕ𝕒𝕜𝕒𝕛𝕚𝕞𝕒 𝔸𝕥𝕤𝕦𝕤𝕙𝕚

💙 Believe by Hollywood Undead 💙

I can’t believe / That when I breathe / That there’s something good inside of me / Just one good thing inside of me / So close to me / That memory / Of that one good thing inside of me / Just one good thing inside of me /

If I went out the back door, nobody would stop me / But, where would I go? / ‘Cause I ain’t never had a real home / So, what do I know? / So, I could keep runnin’, hide until they find me / But, what would that do? /

That he really hates himself that much and how insecure he is in his right to be alive not just simply because he is a living being really hurts to see.

💙 Face it by NF 💙

Don’t know how to face it / Let’s go back to basics / Yes, say what you mean, do what you say, but man I hate this / I just don’t know what I’m chasing, don’t know what I’m chasing / Yes, somebody told me / Life is something you don’t wanna play with / But I just keep on playing like life is just a playground […] / I look at myself and I ask what the goal is / Yeah, tell me what your goal is / I’m just so lost in emotions, I don’t even notice / I just slip into a place and I don’t think straight / Devil in my ear tryna tell me everything’s great / And in a year realize I’m in the same place / Running in the same race, same pace […] /

Get that sickness out my mouth / I feel like my train is derailing / I can feel it / Yo these words are only words until they actions / Words until they actions, strive on empty satisfactions / Yeah, the fact is I don’t know, fact is I don’t know /

💙 월식  (My Tragedy) by Taeyeon 💙

At the end of an empty day / Everyone busily returns from somewhere / In the red night sky / I disappear into the darkness little by litte / These many sparkling lights / There isn’t a single light that’s mine / Under the cold shade by myself / Like it wasn’t there from the start /

💙 Oceans by Jacob Lee 💙

I learnt to let go when I was younger / Scared of growing old / I would swim far into the ocean / And try to stay afloat / Until my lungs would cough up water […] /

I don't want love no more / Though it's the one thing I've been searching for / Though it's the one thing that I miss the most / Now I'm afraid to be alone / I learnt to grow old when I was younger / Scared of staying young / Afraid of the thoughts that I had conjured / That sat atop my tongue / Knowing I'd change the worlds opinion / If they would just, listen up / But they won't, now /

I feel worthless / Maybe I should open the drawer / Burn the pages / Write poems with the ash on the floor / Pour the ink, into the sink / And watch it drain from the shore /

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𝔻𝕒𝕫𝕒𝕚 𝕆𝕤𝕒𝕞𝕦

I know Dazai has a looooot of songs, but tbh I could’ve added at least another 15 because. There. Were. Just.  S O .  M A N Y .  T H A T  F I T  H I M  S O  W E L L ‼‼ (Well, at least the ones I could think of off of the top of my head right away.)

💙 Believe by Hollywood Undead 💙

Don’t you know, little boy, they’ll lay you to waste, man / Little do they know, every song is a lifespan / Yeah, they’ve taken one, but I’m takin’ my last chance / To hold all we know and let go with both hands / Though, don’t you know that plots are made from concrete / Right through the stone, can you hear my heart beat? / Beats through my bone, like no memory left me / Not for a second or a minute when I dream […] / My heart beats heavy in an open chest / And, I wanna say goodbye, but there’s nobody left /

I broke it all, and I put to the test / Put your hands in mine, and feel this emptiness / There’s no beat in my chest / ‘Cause there’s nothin’ left / No, it ain’t goodbye, its a last caress  / What’s another dream? / You could hardly sleep /

Makes me think of Oda aka the bond they had aka the admiration Dazai had for him.

💙 Face it by NF 💙

I ain’t sleeping lately / I ain’t sleeping lately / Yes, I know that I’m the only person that can change me / Maybe, that’s why I ain’t changing / That’s why I ain’t changing / I got too much on my mind, I guess I don’t know how to face it /

He obviously has a lot of issues, and I bet he still doesn’t think of himself as a good person. It strikes me as if he’s thinking that Agency Dazai is not much different from Mafia Dazai. “Your hands are black. Mafia black,” as Higuchi said. I think he did not deny it when she said that, so he doesn’t disagree with her.

💙 Rain by Hollywood Undead 💙

I don’t mind, no I don’t mind, I don’t mind the rain / Simple things and subtleties, they always stay the same / I don’t mind, that I don’t mind, no I don’t mind the rain / Like a widow’s heart, we fall apart, but never fade away (fade away) /

Run like a child, do you know where I came from? / No, I don’t, but I’m singing all the same songs / I’m alone, and you’re looking for your anyone / Does it hurt just to know that it’s all gone? / I can feel the pain in the words that you say / Hidden in the letters that were written to no name […] / Buried in red, white, and a side of some blue / Some will die too late, and somebody too soon / If he could come back, we’ll see what it cost him / We had to lose it all, just to know that we lost one /

💙 Lass mich lieber allein (better just leave me alone) by Kontra K 💙

Man, don’t explain the world to me, it isn’t perfect / And just as imperfect are also you, her and me / All of that isn’t a problem to me / But tell me, since when does hatred laugh so audaciously into my face? / But it’s somehow alright for me […] / Man, I wish for a minuscule part of naivety back / But it seems it’s somehow too late for me / Somehow already too late for me […] /

Already been wandering for so long, you forget / Who is worthy of sacrificing yourself for and for whom you better not do it / You run along the street of success without any luck (on your side) / But she walks out of hell into heaven only once and then right back / If you end up where you started then where is the meaning? /

Because I also have my baggage to carry all on my own / Just like all of the fuckers that think I’m living in heaven all by myself / But the fire and the flames in which I’ve been standing in for so long already / Man, they refuse to see them / But it’s somehow alright for me /

You better just leave me alone / Because when they carry you on their hands, they will (eventually) let you drop / I’d rather fall alone/by myself / Rather alone/by myself /

💙 Lies by Will Jay 💙

I'd rather tell myself if I ignore / These thoughts they'll go away / And my toxic friends have changed / Truth is I hate confrontation / Deal with it tomorrow / 'Cause there's nothing I can do / That's my favourite excuse / Feeding my procrastination […] /

And I think I just realised I would do anything / To keep hiding the pain I've been burying / That's why I tell / Lie-lie-lie-lie-lie-lie-lies /

💙 Du willst es (You want it) by Kontra K 💙

Only the good ones die young, and not long after the best ones follow / No idea, ask death why he thinks that I am so damn bad / Still here, we’re almost not worthy of heaven / Working day for day, only the hatred kills the pain / Life will shoot you in the chest but only ever hit your heart / Thank God that place in my chest has been emptied a long time ago […] /

We asked God, “why” / But the devil said, “doesn’t matter” / We’re swimming in a pool full of misery / But bring us another glass of it /

💙 Wie gemacht dafür (like we were made for it) by Kontra K 💙

Pretty normal, normal / Because you can’t get me, get me further down (the hole/ditch) / Than I’ve already been, you get it? […] / I’m going one-on-one with my inner demons, and I’ve been doing that for the past 13 years / I’ve been there, no matter what happened / Ask your gangsters, they know my voice / Have respect, respect for the realness / But fucking piss me off, and I’ll be sending you to heaven […] /

What pressure are you talking about, I inhale this city deep into my lungs / Put it on the beat and I’ll be giving you a new reason for your hatred /

Like we were made for it, we’re running through hell barefooted / We’re living rent-free in their heads, with the real ones, with the real ones / Like we were made for it, always loyal to my people / Swapping none of my friends for money, for the real ones, for the real ones […] /

If you’re my enemy, I’ll give you lead (bullets) / If you’re my friend, I’ll give you love / Because a wolf stays fucking loyal only to his family /

💙 Lonely by Nathan Wagner 💙

Is everybody lonely? / Is everybody scared? / Is everybody worried / That no one really cares? / See I'm afraid to love, but afraid to be alone / Still I wonder why my heart is always broke / What a way to live, let the fear take all control / Oh, this ain't life, no / I'm not alive […] /

'Cause I'm afraid to show the people who I am / I'm not special, I'm just a simple broken man / So I will hide my face with my picture perfect mask / Oh, this ain't life, no / It's just a lie […] /

If I looked you in the eye / And showed the broken things inside / Would you run away? / Would you run away? / If you saw my darkest parts / The wicked things inside my heart / Would you run away? / Or are you the same? /

The following one makes me think of Mafia Dazai

💙 Body Count by Grey ft. Thutmose 💙

I got a hunger, I got a fever / And it just won't quit / I got a temper, I got a bullet / With your name on it / Everybody wonders what it's like on top / I don't gotta wonder 'cause I call the shots […] /

My blood runs cold and my feet run faster / I still got heart, I hear a heart don't matter / Say what you want and it'll be your last words / It ain't a secret, I got a hit list / And baby, you're up next /

Stack 'em up, stack 'em up / Teach 'em not to fuck with me / Bag 'em up, bag 'em up / Let 'em know who runs these streets / Take 'em down, take 'em down / Count 'em out like one, two, three / Add a-na-na-na-na-na-na-nother one  / To the body count /

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T r i g g e r   W a r n i n g  !

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💙 Bullet by Hollywood Undead 💙

Gone too far and yeah I'm gone again / It's gone on too long, tell you how it ends / I'm sitting on the edge with my two best friends / One’s a bottle of pills, one’s a bottle of Gin / I'm twenty stories up, yeah I'm up at the top / I'll polish off this bottle, now it's pushing me off / Asphalt to me has never looked so soft / I bet my momma found my letter, now she’s calling the cops / I gotta take this opportunity before I miss it / 'Cause now I hear the sirens and they're off in the distance / Believe me when I tell you that I've been persistent / 'Cause I'm more scarred, more scarred than my wrist is / I've been trying too long, with too dull of a knife / But tonight I made sure that I sharpened it twice / I never bought a suit before in my life / But when you go to meet god, you know you wanna look nice /

We hit the sky, there goes the light / No more sun, why's it always night / When you can't sleep, well, you can't dream / When you can't dream, well, what’s life mean? / We feel a little pity, but don't empathize / The old are getting older, watch a young man die […] /

When you were young, you never thought you'd die / Found that you could but too scared to try / You looked in the mirror and you said goodbye / Climb to the roof to see if you could fly /

So if I survive, then I'll see you tomorrow / Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow

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𝕐𝕠𝕤𝕒𝕟𝕠 𝔸𝕜𝕚𝕜𝕠

💙 Brunette Ambition by Qveen Herby 💙

'Cause it's been three weeks and four days / No days off, just runways / I’m fucked up, I'll throw shade / Outwork you on a bad day […] /

On a mission, got no competition / It's hard to sleep with brunette ambition / Revenge is sweet, pussy: my religion / They say slow down, but I never listen /

Old me forsaken, these rules are for breaking / I get lonely with no new friends / Associate, but they can't relate / When you want the world, they’re uncomfortable /

This one is 50% lyrics, 50% overall energy of the song. Yosano is a bad bitch, and I love her.

💙 STFD by TeZATalks 💙    [Flash Warning for epilepsy]

I'm not here to take no names or reservations / I'm the devil telling Satan I'm just wild / Sit the fuck down / Imma kill it let me live just how I'm livin' / Ghetto heart with good intentions / I'm just wild / Sit the fuck down /

I'm chasing freedom for the fearless / I gotta do it 'cause I can't chase fear myself / I'm 'bout as broken as I confess / But better than most that lay cower / Proud of who they crowd / You don't know me / Coming to take your crown / Bow down / You know that I can do better, better / I don't need you to come in and show me how / Settle down / Cause you know that I can do better, better /

This song is mostly just the vibe for me. Quite…. unapologetic. Like the badass bitch vibe Yosano gives off, despite (or probably especially because of) her past.

💙 Nur mir (only to myself) by Elif 💙

Can’t believe what’s happening to me / Your words have manipulated me / I shouldn’t lose the connection to myself / Because otherwise your words will always stay with me / At first, you were there for me / But then you wanted me as your property […] / This city is big enough for the two of us / I have to share it with 4 million others anyway / I get onto the same train, stand on the same platform / Oh, everything’s profit (to you), everything’s yours /

But I only belong to myself, only to myself / Belong to myself, only to myself / Not to her, not to him, not to you /

💙 Disease by Hollywood Undead 💙

Our words are broken but they’re spoken aloud / So come together, come together again / The time is now, let Armageddon begin / They say beginnings always start with the ends / I say forever and forever, Amen /

Forget what you are / Forget what you feel / We stand apart but fall together / Nothing ever lasts forever /

We’re born to live, we’re born to die / We’re forced to swallow these pills and to never ask why / What I’ve become, why can’t you see / That everybody, everybody, everybody’s got this disease? /

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𝔼𝕕𝕠𝕘𝕒𝕨𝕒 ℝ𝕒𝕟𝕡𝕠

💙 The Wolf by SIAMÉS 💙

Each and every day / Hiding from the sunshine / Wandering in the shade / Not too old, not too young / Every night again / Dancing with the moonlight / Somewhere far away / I can hear your call […] / Ain’t no fairytale / What I see in your eyes / Awaiting your mistake / Not too close, not too far /

Honestly, finding a song for Ranpo somehow was harder than it should’ve been lmao Originally, this song is about addiction, but if you read them in the sense of it being about a criminal, whom Ranpo is about to catch, it makes more sense. I am sorry I can’t provide a better song for him right now djhfksjlhdfujhhgkfc

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𝕂𝕦𝕟𝕚𝕜𝕚𝕕𝕒 𝔻𝕠𝕡𝕡𝕠

💙 Fuck You by Silent Child 💙

Am I wasting my breath on you / Feels like my words are never getting through, yeah / I never said I hate you to someone so much before / I'm light headed when we talk and then you shut the door, god damn / Like what are we still talking for, yeah /

I really hope you don’t see tomorrow  / I tried to play nice with you / 'Cause all you ever do is try to fuck up my day / And you were successful / (But I know the truth) / No you don't have anything better to do / Everything you ever loved has tried to escape you / So why would I want anything to do with you /

Fuck you /

Don’t lie, he would blast this at full volume when Dazai fucks up his schedule again HAHAHA (I love their dynamic)

💙 Waiting by Zhavia Ward 💙

The truth is you don't even / Know what the hell you believe / But you should believe / Lions don't lose sleep / Over the opinions of sheep /

So if you're waitin' / To watch me fall / Watch me fall / Watch me fall / I'ma keep you waitin' / To watch me fall / Watch me fall / Watch me fall / I'ma keep you waitin' /

Empire State kinda view / And I'm up here with the crew / I got the feelin' that you wishin' / You could be up here too / Maybe I should feel bad for you / Be a little sentimental / But I don't, no I won't / Make excuses for you to hide behind /

This one makes me think of the time Fyodor tried to break him mentally by making that little girl sacrifice herself (Season 3), but he got back up pretty quickly again after having his ideals get shaken like that.

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𝔽𝕦𝕜𝕦𝕫𝕒𝕨𝕒 𝕐𝕦𝕜𝕚𝕔𝕙𝕚

💙 S.C.A.V.A. by Hollywood Undead 💙

Here's the massacre, a mausoleum fit for me / Lived a hundred years, a hundred years I didn't see / Gave all my hope away, isn't any left for me? / Bombs are splitting atoms, what can the future bring? / We can fill a million choirs and wait till children sing / We can walk a million miles and end up in the sea / And our lungs just keep filling and lying when we breathe / The world's filled with liars, liars like me / And I look at my child, it's finite, this feeling / Eyes blue like the sky, I see all of this meaning / I reach up to God and I ask if I'm dreaming […] /

Everybody says greetings and goodbyes / Everybody pays, no one knows the price / We know the price of sin, the sin of sacrifice / I know I'll sin again, but who can save me twice? / How much can we ask? You'll get the answer first / How much can we kneel with the air that chills the earth? / The air keeps getting colder, my knees keep hitting dirt / The innocent can cry without the guilty getting hurt / You ask who you love and you don't know, no, do you? / The spirit of God just passes right through you / You gave away heaven, handed right to you / And I can see it all, tell me, is it true? /

Fukuzawa is that anime character that’s visibly been through a lot of shit (and has done a lot of shit as well, even morally grey or black), which could be why he’s so stern and not a man of many words. Marked by life, if you will. He also gives off a very “wise man” kinda vibe right from the beginning, so I think that this song somewhat fits him because it is wondering about the state of the world and human nature.

💙 Courtesy Call by Thousand Foot Krutch 💙

This is your last warning / A courtesy call / I am not afraid / Of the storm that comes my way / When it hits it shakes me to the core / And makes me stronger than before / It’s not a question about trust / But will you stand with us? […] /

There’s a rumble in the floor / So get prepared for war / When it hits it’ll knock you to the ground / When it shakes up everything around / But survivial is a must / So will you stand with us? /  

This song just has that badass vibe. And no one can deny that Fukuzawa has a badass and intimidating vibe as well as he seems so stern and stoic most of the time.

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𝕋𝕒𝕟𝕚𝕫𝕒𝕜𝕚 𝕁𝕦𝕟𝕚𝕔𝕙𝕚𝕣𝕠𝕦

💙 Nesimtit by Mark Stam 💙

I don't have lots of cash / But enough for me to buy you an ice cream / For us to go on a walk / And for you to whisper to me in the waves of the ocean / I've taken some days from the border / And I put some behind the door, on ice / For cloudy weather / So that we can have them when the movie of life passes […] /

Let me be your lifeline / When your world is in the process of demolition / Let your dreams fly / I promise, we'll catch them somewhere around the sun /

Oddly enough, the Tanizaki siblings were just as hard for me as Ranpo… There aren’t really that many songs that would make me think of them. But this Romanian one made me (partly) think of him, I also think it’s cute and would probably fit him lol Especially the last four lines make me think of him and Naomi. After all, he’d even burn down the whole world if it was for her sake. All in all, this just sounds like him in the sense of a really supporting person/friend/brother.

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𝕋𝕒𝕟𝕚𝕫𝕒𝕜𝕚 ℕ𝕒𝕠𝕞𝕚

💙 You Should See Me In A Crown by Billie Eilish 💙

You say, "Come over, baby / I think you're pretty" / I'm okay, I'm not your baby / If you think I'm pretty /

You should see me in a crown / I'm gonna run this nothing town / Watch me make 'em bow / One by one by one / One by one by / You should see me in a crown / Your silence is my favorite sound / Watch me make 'em bow / One by one by one / One by one by one /

Naomi isn’t giving me the same “badass bitch” vibe as Yosano does, but she does have that “badass princess” vibe. Is that making any kind of sense? Like, she does not have an ability, but she is neither dumb nor completely helpless in all situations. So, there is a slight badass vibe, but not the “I can and I. W i l l . Kick your stupid. Bitch. Ass.” – so a…. “badass princess”? Because she also has that elegant aura about her. I hope I am making sense…?

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ℍ𝕒𝕣𝕦𝕟𝕠 𝕂𝕚𝕣𝕒𝕜𝕠

💙 2! 3! by BTS 💙

We know that you are happy right now / That you're slaying right now / You have all what you deserve / And we are so damn proud / But you're people, like us / You have spars, you get hurt / You get tired of the pressure / You get tired of the rush / God, thank you so much! / For giving us the chance / To tell you that we're here for you / And this will never change /

Lay on us / When dark times come and surround you / Our light will help you to get through / Our love is gonna heal you / Lay on us / The ones who would go to space to / Steal some stars just to give you 'cause it would make you feel good / We're gonna stay with you forever, until the end / We swear that we're not going anywhere / Yeah we're not going anywhere / We know the road can be so tough / But with holding hands / Together we take a nice deep breath /

Haruno strikes me as the kind of person, who’d be a really supportive friend, so I thought this might fit her. I have not seen much of her and her character neither in the anime nor in the manga yet, so I don’t really know whether this is any good or if it does her any justice.

On the other hand, I feel this song would also fit the Tanizaki siblings well.

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𝕄𝕚𝕪𝕒𝕫𝕒𝕨𝕒 𝕂𝕖𝕟𝕛𝕚

💙 Puste sie weg (blow them away) by Kontra K 💙

Love in the air – blow it away / 9mm on the chest – then blow it away / 3g on the mirror – better blow it away / And the wind will do the rest / Hate in the air – blow it away / Pressure on the chest again – then blow it away / Seven sins in my head – better blow it away / And the wind will do the rest […] /

Because everyone’s talking, talking, talking too much / But unfortunately never do it, do it, do it / And I don’t hate, hate, hate the player / But I’d rather kill a whole team by myself /

I’d rather have three, four warriors than one thousand “brothers” / I’d rather pick up cents from the ground than break bread with liars / I’d rather be broke like I used to be than be a part time dealer / I’d rather have a heart of gold than sharing with no one at all (no one) /

Hatred in the air – blow it away / Pressure on the chest again – then blow it away / Seven sins in my head – better blow it away / And the wind will do the rest /

Take the lyrics quite literally, “blow them away”. The feeling of this song fits him, I think, because of his sheer strength. He just blows away hatred, malice, etc. and is unaffected by any of it as his heart and his head stay innocent and pure, even if naive.

I have to say though, it can be a pun, especially the part of “9mm (gun) on the chest” would be most obvious for it (especially considering that the “on the chest” part does not specify in German whether it’s your own chest or you are holding a gun to someone’s else’s chest lol). In general “puste xy weg” means to blow it away with the air out of your mouth, but colloquially it can also mean gunning down something or someone. And if you apply that meaning to every single line with “blow it away”, the meaning turns around from not letting it bother you to killing it, which I find interesting with this character. (Because he definitely has great potential to actually kill someone with his ability alone.) Though what I thought when I heard this song was that it might fit him with the meaning of him letting nothing bother him.

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𝕀𝕫𝕦𝕞𝕚 𝕂𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕜𝕒

💙 Alaska by Elif 💙

Sometimes I’m thinking, I’m going insane like everyone else / They said I’d be going nuts and yeah, I’m starting to believe them / -7°C, I’m walking through the city park by myself / The down jacket is keeping me warm, but in my heart, there’s Alaska /

I don’t know what love is / No matter how much of it I get, I need more of it / It’s tearing me apart on the inside / When I, once again, don’t know where I’ll be getting it from / Even my therapist says, he doesn’t know any further / My dark side, it’s stronger than the good one / My youth was poisened, the future is uncertain / It is how it is yeah, it is how it is /

💙 Godsent by Smash Into Pieces 💙

I used to share, I used to care / The good in me is gone I'm bad / I used to give, I used to feel / The things you did will never heal / Take a look at me now / See what I've become / I will no longer feed the machine / Can't control the monster in me, no / The way that I feel / Makes it harder to breathe / When I'm thinking about you / The monster is real /

This makes me think of her in the Port Mafia.

💙 Boomerang by Smash Into Pieces 💙

I've been gone for a while now / But only to gain my power / I've been fighting my demons / And I'm back up on my feet (and now) / The harder you fall down / The stronger you come back later / Now I feel like an army / And I've only just begun /

This one in turn makes me think of her in the Agency.

💙 Circles (제자리) by G.Soul 💙

Oh, we know the ending / No matter how you escape / Here again / Always come back to me / Back again / Eventually / Here again / Why is it so hard to leave? / Here again / We always stay here […] / Answer me, I don’t know, no / Just don’t know / You’re getting stuck / Forever / Oh, we know the ending / No matter how you escape / Here again /

This makes me think of what Kouyou (I hope I am remembering her name correctly) was saying about her as a flower of darkness, as she was kind of turning in circles (no pun intended)–between wanting to be in the light and “accepting” that she only belongs into the darkness–at the beginning before she finally joined the Agency.

💙 Excuses (변명) by G.Soul 💙

I told you not to be too good to me / That it would make it too hard on you / No matter what you say now / I don’t hear a word of it […] / Even though I may be making a mistake / Even though I may regret this as time goes on / Baby, I think that we should just end it here now /

Even though the song in total has a different vibe (and story lmao), these parts of the lyrics makes me think of Kyouka telling Atsushi that there is no saving her, and that the light is no place for her (directly after saving her from the Port Mafia). It kinda makes me think of the part, specifically, where Atsushi suggests going on a “date” and at the end of it, Kyouka wants the last place they go to to be the police station.

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𝔻𝕒𝕫𝕒𝕚 & 𝔸𝕥𝕤𝕦𝕤𝕙𝕚

💙 Sing To Me by Missio 💙

Somehow I got nominated as a king of sadness / Got so much I know that I could even feed the birds / And that's why / I prayed, I prayed, God sent me right to voicemail / It's like, all day my vanity is for sale / Take it away, my head is in my own hell /

Sing to me, I am not doing well / Getting tired of my own words / Sing to me 'cause I can't hear myself / Through the loudness of my own hurts / Call me selfish when I say this, say this / I'm kinda helpless, and I need you / Sing to me 'cause I'm not doing well /

Somebody told me that there's two sides to this life / I think I might've chosen darkness over light /

These two are two sides of the same coin, but no side is brighter than the other. I feel like they are kind of mirroring each other in the way they feel about themselves, which is why these lyrics mirror both of them towards each other as both are in need of salvation as they’re drowning in their own minds. Dazai is just better at hiding it from Atsushi.

💙 Namae wo yobu yo (Call A Name) by Luck Life (Season 1 Ending) 💙

I was searching / For the reason I’m able to remain as myself / If there’s a version of me / That exists within your heart / That even amid the darkness on this long, hilly road / I feel I can become a new me / Able to make my way through / So that each of us, walking our individual moments, can keep on smiling / So that we can keep moving forward, exploring the meaning of life together / I’ll call out a name / Your name / So that you can remain who you are /

Technically, lyrically it’s the entirety of the song, but I will not write down all of it lmao And it’s the Atsushi and Dazai parallels here again. It’s not just the ending with the animation that shows it for me, but the lyrics reflect both of them in them as well. I absolutely loved this ending. I never ship characters as I do not care about that, but I really love these two (separately)~ (What they mean for each other aka what they might mean for each other in the future [peace of mind/finding worth for Atsushi, and a reason to live for Dazai, etc.], how they’re already helping each other [Dazai helping Atsushi with feeling worthless, and Dazai finding a bit of piece of mind], etc. etc. etc.) I haven’t loved 2 characters in an anime as much as this in quite a long time (The last time was Kougami and Akane in Psycho Pass) as I find making up characters as complex as them and make them fit together as well as them/make them complement each other/balance each other out is actually pretty hard to do really well.

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Making up this list took waaaaay longer than it should’ve. (I did not include Katai because I couldn’t think of a single song for him, sorry.)

[t4tlawlight]

Intimacy versus isolation is the sixth stage of Erik Erikson's theory of psychosocial development. This stage takes place during young adulthood between the ages of approximately 18 to 40 yrs.

During this period, the major conflict centers on forming intimate, loving relationships with other people. We begin to share ourselves more intimately with others. We explore relationships leading toward longer-term commitments with someone other than a family member.

Successful completion of this stage can result in happy relationships and a sense of commitment, safety, and care within a relationship. Avoiding intimacy, fearing commitment and relationships can lead to isolation, loneliness, and sometimes depression. Success in this stage will lead to the virtue of love.

– “ Erik Erikson's Stages of Psychosocial Development”

...if we want the rewards of being loved, we must submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known.

– “I Know What You Think of Me”  

this post is the second in a series about the tv drama! if you haven’t read the first part, you don’t have the full picture! read it HERE

this post is going to focus on L, and namely the way his relationships forge him into a better person across the span of the tv drama, and then it’s going to close off the cliffhanger on the previous post!

at the beginning of the series, the L we meet is decidedly not a good person. he’s not moralistic in the slightest, and we see him perform some pretty ghastly human rights violations across the series. he loves to say he's “just” and that the people he’s fighting against are evil, to the point that where soichiro questions him, he denies kira’s humanity by comparing him to a demon or devil:

Soichiro: You’ve gone too far. L: You shouldn’t think of Kira as human. He’s the devil.

-- Episode 1

[photo: a close up shot of L. we see him from the shoulders up, wearing his usual white ensemble, dark hair a mess. he is looking up at something above the camera. he is saying, "This Kira is a devil stained in greed."]

-- Episode 6

he’s very much like light in that regard. but he believes he has a right to spit in the face of basic human rights because the ends justify the means and that makes him, specifically, justified to do whatever he wants.

Matsuda: Sir, L just confirmed Kira’s existence and where he’s hiding in one fell swoop. Aizawa: Matsuda! Mogi: Pipe down. You saw that he sacrificed the life of a man to do it, even if he was scheduled to die. He’s doing the same thing Kira is.

-- Episode 1

worse, when called out on it directly by members of the task force (other than soichiro, generally speaking), L tends to throw it back in their faces by bringing up their fears of being killed by Kira if they don’t allow him to do what he wants:

Matsuda: You need to stop this at once! There must be other ways of investigating! L: Are you going to start an inquiry? Exposing your name and face to Kira? Mogi: This is a human rights violation. This would cost us more than our jobs. L: I thought we were risking our lives for this investigation, not our jobs.

-- Episode 4

Mogi: L, all else aside, this is a violation of human rights! L: Would you like to conduct the interrogation in the room itself? Showing your face to her?

-- Episode 6

this is exacerbated by the fact that L isn’t a detective because he genuinely believes in detective work as a way to enact justice. this is L's hobby. he's here to win, not to do the good thing, because that's not his style. he comes in on difficult that he thinks will be a good way to entertain himself and stretch his imagination, and then he solves them, and then he wins.

L: But that’s no reason to just give up and turn yourself in, Kira. You’re going to be found and your method of killing exposed...  by me.

-- Episode 1

L: It didn't matter to me who the perpetrator was. On the contrary, I thought that to solve a crime with no clues at all would be the greatest thrill possible.

-- Episode 8

worst of all is that, while he justifies his human rights violations and outright torture of light and misa with it being a necessity, drama L--unlike in other adaptations--approaches it with utter glee, laughing as he keeps light awake for days on end and light begins to lose his sense of time, even while lying about kira not being active.

L: Light-kun! Don’t go to sleep! Kira hasn’t shown up yet. 

L: [laughing] Are you okay? It appears your sense of time is beginning to atrophy.

-- Episode 6

so, in the beginning, L is, as i said, very much not moralistic. he's never had his perspective challenged in his life--near and watari are exactly the same way. watari is the one who enacts most of the things L says, and rarely offers dissent. when he does disapprove of L’s actions, he won’t do anything to stop them, and often won’t complain more than shaking his head and grumbling.

then he meets soichiro, and the very first thing soichiro does is ask:

[photo: soichiro yagami sitting at a desk. matsuda is standing behind him, and himura is standing a little further back. yagami is wearing a suit and tie, speaking to L on a laptop computer. he is asking, "What do you think human life is?"]

-- Episode 1

and soichiro questions L about lind L tailor for a little bit, demanding to know if L suspected the man could die. and L argues that he had permission, but later he  calls on soichiro specifically to help him. this is partially because of soichiro’s hostage situation that paves the way for a lot of L’s suspicion on light, of course, but watari seems to think otherwise:

Watari: That’s unusual. You never invite people to meet you. Did his scolding have an effect on you, then? You like him, don’t you? L: ... Watari: You don’t meet many people who can leave you speechless.

-- Episode 1

later, L tells soichiro that L is fond of him directly:

L: I believe you are an extremely wonderful policeman. And to me, you are like a father, as well. 

-- Episode 10

and soichiro calls out a lot of the things L does in these first episodes. L has been allowed to do whatever he wants for a long time; furthermore, he never shows himself to people aside from watari and near/mello. so soichiro is possibly the first person who matters who calls L out on something like lind L tailor, and is furious when L brings the FBI to Japan:

Soichiro: Either way, I can’t approve of FBI investigators having free reign to investigate on Japanese soil. I’m going to report this. [Soichiro leaves.] L: Do you think I made him angry? Watari: Oh, well... Quite.

-- Episode 2

later, when yotsuba-light comes on scene, the same thing happens, in a little way. yotsuba light scolds L whenever he’s a little bankrupt in the morals department and simultaneously is much, much more morally upright (in yotsuba arc) himself, asking L to be on the team so he could help stop kira (which moved L to taking off the handcuffs!). L says he thinks light has a lot of potential under the surface on multiple occasions, and credits himself for the transformation:

L: I appreciate your talent. Now, it’s possible that talent only blossomed since you met me... Maybe there was nothing to trigger it before, but there’s something very passionate sleeping inside you. I was thinking I could use that in the service of good.

-- Episode 5

Light: Please, let me help. I want to catch Kira with you. Soichiro: Light... Light: If we’re going to be tied together because you suspect me anyway, Ryuga, I want to be tied to you in purpose, as well. Matsuda: But Light-kun is a student... L: He’s no mere student. As the one who encouraged his talent to bloom, I guarantee this. Let’s catch Kira and finish this together.

-- Episode 7

furthermore, L believes yotsuba light--he doesn’t think he’s lying to him.

L: By the way, Light-kun, you wanted to enter public service, didn’t you? Light: Yeah. Why? L: The police are a public service, aren’t they? When you were a child, you wanted to be one, didn’t you? Light: When my mother died when I was a kid, my father was off chasing a criminal... I thought my father’s form of justice couldn’t be worth much, if he had to sacrifice even his family to see it through. But... yeah. Now I sort of feel like I understand. Because I feel the same way he did. I want to catch Kira, no matter what. L: [internally] From what I can see, this seems unlikely to be a performance to deceive us. Which means...

-- Episode 7

between soichiro and yotsuba light, L receives quite a bit of both feedback on his own actions and examples to go by.

there’s one major example of L’s change, morally speaking: when raye penber is approached by kira, L and watari are listening, but in an example of early L being deficit in the morals department, he doesn’t move to do anything. he doesn’t warn the FBI, he doesn’t stop raye. L tells watari not to do anything, because they have the opportunity to perhaps learn how Kira kills.

[photo 1:  a close up shot of L. he is staring wide-eyed to the viewer's left, holding a green lucky charge jelly pouch. he is asking, "You want to kill the whole FBI?"

photo 2:  L is sitting at his desk on his laptop, holding a lucky charge pouch and staring at his computer. watari stands beside him, wearing a brown suit and a bowtie, saying, "L..."

photo 3:  L again, at his desk in front of his laptop. he is holding a lucky charge pouch close to his mouth. he is saying, "We could learn how Kira kills."]

--  Episode 3

Matsuda: Then you used him as bait? L: I did it to catch Kira. I didn’t have a choice. Aizawa: Didn’t have a choice?!

-- Episode 4

and L, after the FBI in japan are wiped out is clearly affected, but it’s less guilt from all of the people he let die and more to do with perceiving himself as having lost.

L: After I was so close to learning how Kira kills...

L: This time, I lost.

-- Episode 3

flash forward forward to yotsuba arc and yotsuba light and specifically the final confrontation with higuchi. higuchi, now with the shinigami eyes, is now going to the drama version of sakura TV to kill matsuda. they have this exchange:

[photo 1: light speaking into a wireless microphone. we see him from the shoulders up, wearing black. he is saying, "Dad, arrest Higuchi the minute he gets there."

photo 2: a close up shot of L and light. we cannot see light's face, as he's turned to L in surprise. L says into a microphone, "No. Let's watch him a little longer."

photo 3:  the same scene, countermeasures. L is sitting at his desk, holding a microphone close to himself. light stands beside him, laptop open on the desk. he is asking L, "Hey. What are you talking about?"]

-- Episode 7

this is the perfect parallel to the raye penber situation. L wants to let higuchi continue to sakura TV and act unimpeded in his attempt to kill matsuda because at this stage they still don’t know how Kira kills, which is precisely how raye penber died. this time, however, light argues with him:

L: We haven’t established his method of killing yet. Light: This is Kira we’re dealing with! Matsuda-san and my dad are in danger! L: In order to catch Kira, we must confirm his way of killing. Light: People’s lives are on the line! Hey. All the names of the people killed so far are written in that notebook, right? That would be proof, wouldn’t it? Even if we learn how he kills people, if a comrade dies, that’s losing, in my opinion.

-- Episode 7

and this is the first real evidence that the yagamis are actively changing the way L operates, because he does. 

L: Yagami-san, arrest Higuchi. Like the second Kira, Higuchi has become a Kira that can kill by face alone. Please keep that in mind when you arrest him.  Soichiro: Got it. Light: Ryuga... L: We won’t let the likes of Higuchi beat us. Let’s get that notebook as proof.

-- Episode 7

they do the mannequin swap and catch higuchi and nobody else dies.

soichiro has exactly the same impact-- in the manga, L dies because he's going to test the 13 day rule by having a prisoner on death row write in it, and if they don't die in 13 days they get to go free. this is what makes rem kill him to protect misa, because doing this, despite it being perhaps not the most morally upright thing, is guaranteed to prove that the 13 day rule is fraudulent. 

he never does this in the drama, because when he tells soichiro he had the idea, they have this exchange:

L: I thought about negotiating with the Ministry of Justice to see if they would verify it by carrying out death sentences.  Soichiro: I can’t approve of that. Even if they’re on death row, they’re still people. If we take their lives indiscriminately, we’re no different than Kira. L: I thought you’d say that, so I decided not to. 

-- Episode 8

yet again, L doesn’t go with the easy solution because interacting with the yagamis has inflicted him with some semblance of morality.

at this point, it’s important to discuss the nature of L and light’s relationship in the tv drama. for the most part, it’s similar to how it operates in the mangaverse, but with a major exception: L and light buy into their own manipulation. frequently, L and light call each other their friends:

L: Be my friend. That’s the favor I wanted. 

--  Episode 4

Light: If I were Kira, I wouldn’t say that, would I? L: That’s true. I guess you really aren’t Kira after all. I certainly hope you aren’t, anyway. Because you’re the first friend I’ve ever had.

-- Episode 5

these incidents in the tv drama are just like in the manga: examples of L and light manipulating each other. the change arises when light loses his memories and thus the context of the mind games--he begins to earnestly believe that L and light are friends.

[photo 1: a dimly-lit shot of only light's face. he is begging L, "Please believe me!"

photo 2: he asks, "We're friends, aren't we?"]

-- Episode 6

Matsuda: Did L tell you to call him Ryuga? Light: Yes. It’s the alias he used the first time we met. Matsuda: If you know it’s an alias, why do you call him that? Light: The truth is, I guess I’d rather he be my friend Ryuga than the detective L.

-- Episode 7

Light: I would have wanted to show you, too… The world Kira would create… If I could have… I’d have wanted… I’d have wanted to be your friend forever.

-- Episode 8

this in turn, combined with spending prolonged time with light during yotsuba arc, has an effect on L. 

Near: Hey, why did you let Yagami Light in on the investigation? You think he’ll let something slip? L: That’s part of it.  Near: So you do think he’s Kira. L: I don’t know. Part of me wants him to be Kira. Part of me wouldn’t mind if he wasn’t.

-- Episode 7

it's the second part of that line from the drama i used as evidence earlier--

L: It didn't matter to me who the perpetrator was. On the contrary, I thought that to solve a crime with no clues at all would be the greatest thrill possible.  L: Then I met you, and for the first time, I became interested in a person.

-- Episode 8

thus begins the ending to episode 8 and the beginning of episode 9, which forms one coherent scene which i’ve nicknamed “the blue scene” as shorthand, so now you know what i mean when i reference it. the blue scene truly begins with L inviting light to an abandoned building--perhaps one under construction--and invites light to join him after presumably pondering the situation there for some time.

we learn from near THIS LITTLE COMMENT near the end of the show:

Near: L struggled over whether or not he should reveal your identity. It's possible he was trying to understand, in his own way, how you felt becoming Kira.

-- Episode 11

this mindset we can see during this scene where L is doing puzzles with near:

[photo 1:  a completely white puzzle with no designs or patterns. it is unfinished, piece pieces surrounding an empty gray space. L is thinking, "If Kira's power does move between people, then it must be the will of Kira himself."

photo 2: L, wearing an extremely neutral expression. he is holding up a white puzzle piece between his index and thumb, staring at it. he is thinking, "Even if Yagami Light's memories of being Kira have been erased--"

photo 3: L from the waist up, sitting down on the floor. near is sitting in front of him, although we can only see the back of his arm as he faces L. L's thought from the first photo continues with, "--could he still recover that ability?"

photo 4:  L rests his elbow on his knee, still sitting on the floor. his eyes are downcast. He is thinking, "I don't sense anything suspicious from Yagami Light."

photo 5:  L, staring down at the puzzle. He is thinking, "I just have to capture the current Kira and finish this."]

-- Episode 7

L makes a concentrated effort to understand how and why light became kira, as shown in the beginning of the blue scene when he asks light why he became kira in the first place and then tells him L’s best guess as to why--which, because L knows the situation and light himself so well at this point, is the correct answer.

L: Why did you start using this thing? Did you lose to the allure? The first time you killed someone, it was not fully understanding what the notebook did, right? Then you got scared and tried to throw it away, right? But you were forced into a situation where you had no choice but to use it. 

L: Then Yagami Light became Kira. No... The voices of those who despised crime turned Yagami Light into Kira. But that’s just an excuse, isn’t it?

L: I want to stop you. Because we’re friends, you know? So admit you’ve lost. That you’re Kira.

-- Episode 8

and part of this is because he's been with yotsuba arc light. he likes him, he’s taken his advice. it's not as cut and dry as "i arrest light, i arrest Kira, and i win the game." anymore.

the entire episode 8 section of the blue scene is, to be clear, just a parallel of the scene where soichiro pretends to shoot light to prove he’s not kira. it's exactly the same. they bring light out, give light a scenario, and then threaten to murder him and see what happens. 

[photo 1: soichiro yagami, pointing a gun at his son. the first photo is from further away; we can see light cowering on the ground and staring down the barrel. he says, "As fellow murderers,” 

photo 2: soichiro from the shoulders up, brow furrowed. he finishes, "let's meet again in Hell."]

-- Episode 6

[photo:  the blue scene. the lighting is a saturated blue, tinting L's shirt and skin. he looks down, saying, "Then let's meet in the afterlife in thirteen days."]

-- Episode 8

whereas yotsuba-light passed the test, light in the blue scene does not.

[photo 1: light stands above L, who has been thrown against some construction materials and is laying on the ground. light is saying, "I can't afford to lose to you."

photo 2:  photo 2: from shoulders-up, we see light looking regretfully down at L. he is saying, "I'm creating a perfect world, without crime."]

-- Episode 8

that being said, in order to understand L and his decision making in this scene, you have to also understand that L thought that he was safe--that Light had no chance of getting his name. that was not part of the scenario in L's head. L had no way of predicting mikami being in the countermeasures office at that exact moment.

L spends the entire scene basically asking light over and fucking over again just to admit he's kira. 

[photo 1: the first of multiple screenshots of the blue scene in which L is in various degrees of being brutalized, because he and light are fighting physically throughout. in the first, they are facing each other, standing. L says, "So admit you've lost."

photo 2: L is crouched over. we cannot see most of his face or expression. he says, "Then admit you've lost!"

photo 3: L is splayed against some construction materials. blood drips from the corner of his mouth. he is curled in on himself, covering his stomach with his arm. he is saying, "Will you admit you've lost and atone for your crimes, 

photo 4: L finishes, “or write your own name in there and die?"]

-- Episode 8

given that the death note is fake L essentially gives him two options that ultimately amount to telling L that he’s Kira, except one of them is telling L he's kira with words and one of them is telling L he's Kira by trying to kill himself if light didn’t get mikami's help in that moment, his options are to do either of those things, deny it until soichiro and the rest arrived, leave outright, or... kill L with his bare hands, which is the most unlikely scenario here.

this is all the same reason why L doesn't really fight in the fight scene--he puts up the illusion of a fight, as though he wants Light to give up the note, but in reality he wants light to get the note.

if you watch through the scene, it plays out like this:

light slaps the death note out of his hands.

L bodychecks light into some, like, bags of padding so he doesn’t grab it.

light kicks L in the stomach with both feet.

L pushes light again once he grabs the death note. he does it once again once they both get to it.

light kicks L in the stomach for the second time. he then  grabs L on the ground and punches L in the face with such force that his skull bounces off the concrete.

L then walks off his concussion and actually punches light, actually attacking him for the only time during the sequence before yelling at him

light knees L in the stomach, for the third time; punches him in the face; and then kicks L in the stomach for the fourth time.

L falls against some boxes and sandbags and the fight is over.

the only time L actually hits light is the punch after light knocks his skull against the floor. the rest of the time he’s grappling because he wants Light to think he's in danger, and he wants to see who he really is. because he likes light. he likes light enough that he struggles enough with whether or not he wants to arrest him and tries to see his point of view, enough so that near knows about it and can comment about it. and light fails spectacularly. he gets the mikami message which is proof enough that he's kira on its own. if he stopped it there, that’s enough proof for an arrest. he didn't need light to write his name if it were a test to see if light is kira. but it isn't. because L already knew that. he wanted to know what light would do, and he found out.

L: Do you feel like you’re God? Light: Kira could become God!

-- Episode 9

which i think is why he’s so bent on having light confess in the first place. he's not doing it just to arrest the man, which is why it's a "who he is as a person" test. that's WHY it's the same as the yotsuba light test up until light fails, at which point they actually start very obviously drawing parallels to the lind L tailor test, which was lights first big failure and really the start of his moral event horizon and the beginning of their rivalry to begin with.

Lind L. Tailor: Justice always wins. Light: No, it doesn’t, That’s why Kira was born!

-- Episode 1

L: Justice always wins.  Light: No, it doesn’t. That’s why Kira was born.

-- Episode 9

but also more than that L wanted light to confess to him so that he could satisfy that part of him that started this, that has to Win the Game. the part of him that’s been taking cases all of this time. if light gives up L can say he won and satisfy that part of him, because up until now his moral compass was guided by what was most interesting to him, and of  course the kira case was as he said very interesting to him. but he wants to move on from it so that he can be friends with light. he wants to know that light trusts him too and wants to be friends so that he can have light work with him instead and use his genius constructively.

L mentions multiple times that since light has met L he’s had the chance to show the genius that was hidden because of light’s stagnant upbringing, and L wants light to work with him. at the end of light’s analysis post, i brought up that light believed the only way he could be happy is through the power and masculinity given to him through the note. i also linked tumblr user whoresband’s analysis, and once again i think it’s pertinent to share their thoughts:

L rejects social norms, he lives as he desires, and it is only men L becomes close with. L seems to heal with light. light inspires something kinder in him, something that wants to care and be cared for. and moreover, L ignites a spark in light, inspiring him to achieve and challenge himself and be better.

L’s rejection of society and closeness with other men is the route light couldve chosen and did not. L begging him to confess that he is kira is also a plea for him to confess that he loves L. L wanted light to see the value in loving him, to see how much he could be with him, and that his embrace of the social values that had caused him this pain was not the only way to free himself from that pain.

at the end of the show, in his final tape--the *what if* tape, which he created in the event that light was not kira, he expresses that he wants light to work with near.

[photo 1:  a very close image of a tablet watari is holding up. a video is playing, pre-recorded by L before his death. he is sitting in his chair at countermeasures, saying, "Light-kun, I'm sorry for doubting you."

photo 2:  watari and near at L's grave, which is headed by a very large white cross. near's back is to us. watari is still playing L's video. L is saying, "I believe that you'll become a great police officer like [Soichiro] Yagami-san some day.” 

photo 3: a close up of watari holding the tablet. L onscreen continues, “If it suits you, you could also become a detective and work with Near."]

-- Episode 11

i think if light had confessed and showed that he was still the same as he was during yostuba arc, and more importantly still was friends with L, L wouldn’t necessarily have turned him into the police, and certainly wouldn’t have executed him. i think he might have tried to convince light to join him, to enact his sense of justice alongside L instead of as Kira.

in the end, though, what i think could have happened doesn’t matter. light rejected L’s offer, and they both died for it. 

even still, there’s a point to be made about the symbolism in the tv drama--it’s incredibly overt. that’s a post for another day, but it’s worth mentioning that light is consistently symbolized by a moon hanging in the sky.

in the last shots of the tv drama, that moon hangs over L’s grave, together in death.

[photo: a very serene scene. L's grave, located on an otherwise seemingly empty grassy hill. it is a large white cross. watari and near are leaving, going down the hill. in the cloudy blue sky, a full moon is visible just above L's grave marker.]

-- Episode 11

[dapper-ships-herself]

I hear wedding bells 💜 ~

So yeah, I figured I would probably just do the one prompt from yesterday for @fofebruary that I posted, then last night I got soft thinking about the poetic beauty of mafia! Gillian and Dazai finally getting married, so here we are.

The proposal actually happens a while before they start for real dating.

There's a moment sometime during the story, where they've kept having to see each other through all these events and having to confront their feelings and their pasts and each other, and one night after an arc gets wrapped up, Dazai comes home and I'm just sitting in his house like "what's up, we need to have a talk."

And we pour our hearts out and it's a struggle because we're both pretty emotionally supressed, but we both know this is long over due and needs to be done, and we talk about why Dazai left me and the mafia without a word, how we've both been feeling and dealing with everything, and so on. Then I get up and walk by him on my way to the door but he catches my wrist (a little parallel to our reunion, if you remember from that piece I turn away from him and he tries to grab me but I vanish into the shadows before he can, so this is like, there's no more running from each other, no more turning our backs, we're connected and we can't deny that), and he says "I've missed you, Gillian."

And then:

Gillian glanced down at their joined hands, the soft moonlight making it seem as if they glowed in the faint light. She looked back up into Dazai's earnest eyes. "I... I've missed you too, Osamu." Her smile is small, but it's genuine.

He's not done talking yet, though. "I know I abandoned you, I left you alone in a horrible nightmare, and I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry. I can say I thought I was doing what was right and best for you all I want, but that will never change the fact that I was wrong. Hurting someone like you is the greatest sin I've committed, and if nothing else what I will likely burn for. But, if there's any reason for me to stay alive it's to spend my life making up for that mistake."

His eyes hold hers in an iron gave, so captivating and strong that she wondered for a moment if his true ability is some kind of hypnosis. "What are you saying?" She whispered.

He moved, still looking her in the eyes and never letting go of her hand, so he was kneeling on the floor in front of her. "I promise that you will never be alone again, that I will never leave you alone again. I will never let you go again, and I will remain with you forever, dedicated to you."

"What, you know I'm still in the mafia right? And you're in the agency? How- How are you supposed to stay by my side when we're enemies?"

"I know all that, but that's not what matters to me. Even if our organizations clash, no matter which side either of us is on, the mafia, the agency, light, or dark, it won't make me break my promise. Not again. I betrayed your trust once, please let me spend every opportunity I can fixing the bond I broke." His series face changes to have a small smile as he gazes up at her. "You've said before that we were the only ones keeping you sane within the mafia. I always thought that was funny, as I never particularly felt I did anything to warrant that. If anyone was a bright spot in that place, it was you."

Her hand trembled and she had to bite down on her lip "I'm nothing but darkness, how can someone like me be anyone's light?"

"One day, I promise that I will tell you everyway you've made this life worth living." His thumb rubs across the back of her hand, and he breaks their eye contact only to close his eyes and kiss her skin. "Will you wait with me for that day? When we can both be together?"

They both knew that whatever this not fully spoken thing between them could not bud in their current circumstances, but... but could it really one day bloom into something beautiful?

"Okay," she said "I will wait with you."

---

That's basically how it goes!

Then there's more story stuff, eventually everyone thinks I get killed at one point but I survive and spend some time with an all girl biker gang (more on them later) and have a fun female empowerment adventure, come back to Yokohama after a bit and reveal I'm still alive, but I learned some stuff and finally decide I no longer have to feel chained to Ogai and after a tense talk he lets me leave the mafia because no matter what I am his daughter and he does care, and not right away but I do join the agency and a bit after that Dazai and I start for real dating and a while after that we make good on that proposal~

Dazai's wedding party consists of Kunikida as best man, Atsushi, and maybe Tanizaki and a sort of begrudging Ranpo (who's mainly there for the cake).

Ango could be in his party to, but he might also just be a guest.

My wedding party consists of Yosano, the leader of the biker gang (the whole gang wanted to be in the wedding party but it was agreed the leader would represent them), and Chuuya.

Yumeno is the ring bearer, and Kyouka is the flower girl along with maybe Kenji.

Ogai does walk me down the aisle, and the whole thing is a neutral occasion for the Port Mafia and the detective agency and there's quite a few mafia members there including Higuchi (who cries), Akutagawa, and the black lizard. It's a whole party of celebrating not only live but also our differences and it's a night of no fighting and coming together!

Kouyou definitely cries but pretends she's not.

Fukuzawa is the official. Or maybe it'd be funny if that guy who heads the special abilities division did it, that guys definitely there and gets drunk either way.

And Odasaku is watching the whole time, proud of these two crazy kids who managed to find love in the dark.

Bonus, the wedding outfit sketches:

(the skirt is not see through, though there is a see through fabric around it, I just wanted to sketch the shoes too. The sleeves are see through save for the embroidery.)

(not to be completely shameless but reblogs are appreciated ✌️)

[mysaldate]

On the topic of BSD mental issues..

Because a lot of people in this fandom just LOVE to bestow their own mental problems on characters and even go so far as to claim not a single BSD character is mentally alright, I went on a little rant to debunk this bulshit of a claim. If you’re one of those who support the “everyone is mentally ill because I said so” theory, don’t even bother reading this, please, and save us both the time.

If you do read, however, please keep in mind those are just my opinions and analysis and why I personally find the claim that everyone is mentally ill bulshit. You’re free to believe what you want but I’ve had multiple people come spurting out insults at me simply for not believing every single character is mentally diasbled.

First, our beloved ADA Atsushi - He's actually doing really well. Sure, he's not 100% ok but we were given no serious childhood trauma impacts (except for flashbacks that don't really... do anything to him mentally except for motivating him to do better which is, you know, not a sign of mental illness), he doesn't have self-destructive tendencies, he doesn't feel like he owes the society anything but he doesn't slip to nihilism either. His motivations are humane and sane and relatable. I mean, if anyone told you your friends would be in mortal danger if you stay with them, wouldn't you try to get away from them too? Dazai - Ok, Dazai is far from stable. He still handles his issues surprisingly well though and his constant suicide attempts are really played off as a joke, which is not the best way to handle them but it takes a lot of seriousness from it and kind of makes it hard to believe it's what he actually wants to do with his life. Especially since there are times where he goes out of his way to make sure he stays alive (Dead Apple being just one example). Kunikida - Arguably one of the most stable characters in the show. Some people claim he has OCD but have you ever seen an actual OCD patient? His love for schedules and hard time when they can't be kept is something that runs in my family and nobody has ever been diagnosed with OCD. People need to realize that having your life planned out is not a mental illness. Yosano - I'm a little more benevolent about Yosano, especially since she has a more psychotic side to her and she seems actually damaged by her childhood but I stiil stand my point that she is doing extremely well for someone who supposedly has a mental illness. It's almost as if the "insane" side of her was purposedly overblown for comedic purposes. Ranpo - I know a lot of people say he's autistic but I don't agree with that hc. Why? Well, I have a classmate who's not autistic and she's exactly like him. She's smart, almost genius, has great deduce skills and brilliant crime-solving abilities (tested multiple times with Black Stories or whatever that game is called in english) but she is unable to live on her own. She knows close to nothing about real life, skills used for everyday functioning and as for public transport, she only learnt how to use it recently and she's almost 19 years old. I also have an autistic friend who specifically said he'd find it insulting to hear that Ranpo is supposedly autistic. Tanizaki - I'm not sure what to say here, Tanizaki is a normal guy. Nothing special about him. He's willing to go great lengths for his little sister but I think anyone with younger siblings can relate to that. At least anyone who cares for their younger siblings. Kenji - Go on and tell me how Kenji of all people has a mental illness, I dare you. And if you pull out his cheeriness, you're obviously just too depressed to fathom that some people might actually enjoy life. Fukuzawa - Again, one of the most stable characters in the series. Say what you will but he's not unstable and his ability to stay calm at almost any situation except for when his kids are in danger is just further proof of this. Kyouka - I'd say she might have issues. My afforementioned autistic classmate pointed out that she feels autistic to him so there's that. Also her childhood visibly screwed her over. However, she's still surprisingly stable and normal despite all of that so while she might have some issues, they are greatly balanced by her strong will and natural personality. Naomi - I wouldn't say Naomi is 100% ok in the head but not to a point where I'd claim an actual mental illness. Sure, I'm not a doctor but nor is anyone who diagnoses her with whatever it is they diagnose her with. Haruno - And exactly what is wrong about Haruno? She's cute, positive, cheery, hard-working and supportive. And she gets scared in situations that invoke this. Literally NOTHING weird.

Next up is our dear Port Mafia Akutagawa - No denying it, Aku has serious issues. Again though, he's doing far better than most people with similar problems but that could just be due to him letting his frustrations out via murder. Chuuya - No issue found here. Sure, he's a little short-tempered but that's about it. A lot of people are short-tempered without being mentally ill. And he could be portrayed with some serious issues due to his origin and past. Gin - Do we even know enough about her to diagnoze her? All we know is that she's silent, a little shy and that she's always on odds with Tachihara. Make me a diagnosis from that. Higuchi - Aside from her massive crush on Aku, there's nothing weird about her. She probably picked the wrong job but she's willing to work hard anyway to earn her place there,, which is not exactly typical for people with mental illnesses. Hirotsu - STABLE PERSON. Just... what else is there to him? He is literally the voice of reason who commands the black lizard solely because he can actually keep them under control. Geez, there is literally nothing linking him to any mental problem! Kajii - This guy's got issues, no denying it. And I won't even say he could do worse because obviously he could but he's fairly close to being the insanest (is that a word?) he can get. Kouyou - Oh look, ANOTHER completely stable person. I mean, come on, she's been an executive since Dazai and Chuuya were 15, that's seven years. Clearly she couldn't hold her position if she weren't stable. Not to mention, we saw her being stable in stressing situations so. many. times. Elise - She's an ability. No comment. Mori - Yes, he has his issues. But he's the hypercompetent Mafia boss who stayed in charge for a very long time already and there's no sign of anyone overthrowing him any time soon, nor planning to because he's just a great leader, something he couldn't be if he was mentally ill. Oda - Do I even need to elaborate on this? Oda is very probably the sanest person we got, one who sees the wrongs of his past and does his best to overcome them and repent, all of which goes without him being depressed or self-loathing in the slightest. Randou - This has been talked about a lot. Randou is sensitive and impulsive and sometimes acts on emotions rather than rationallity. None of that makes him a mentally ill person. It just makes him a person, a human being we can all relate to. Ace - Ace is a selfish human being who thinks too highly of himself and is manipulative and abusive. Is that a problem? Yes, obviously. Is that a mental illness? Not necessarily and more likely no than yes. He does things for his personal gain and everything went his way for far too long for him to expect it to go any other way. And as we all know, power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutelly. Q - Does anyone really think Q is sane?

Now for the group that so many people dislike it’s honestly sad, the Guild Francis - Francis is, first and foremost, a very loving husband and father. He goes on this insane mission to Japan to obtain a mystical object he believes is real but never got any deffinite proof of. Is he naive? Perhaps so. And after he loses, he gets depressed and broken because he finds out his wedding ring disappeared, probably because his wife did something. That breaks him. And honestly? He has every right to break down. It's understandable and human and it does not make him mentally ill. Louisa - While yes, she is very shy and some argue she has some sort of anxiety disorder, all of this can be explained by the fact that she's practically a child. She's 18 dammit. Who could leave their home country at 18 only with an organization of older people, who also all seem very sure of themselves, while having no combat ability and nothing to really bring to the table? If she were mentally weak, there's no way she'd go looking for Francis after his fall, it's actually more likely she'd hurry back home, probably with tears and fear of being arrested if she were to stay in Japan for longer. Margaret - Name me one thing that makes you think Margaret of all people would have a mental issue. One thing. Most of her screentime is her being a vegetable. And while that is certainly a health problem, not a mental health one. Nathaniel - Hey, he was completely ok before meeting Fyodor. Being religious is not a mental health problem and f you if you say otherwise. John - Again, nothing unstable about John. He's not even that selfish, doing what he can to support his family and even picking up the remainings of the Guild to keep the people together and give them new hope because, y'know, hope is very important to people. Lovecraft - He's not even human. You can't apply human mental health logic to him. Herman - We've seen him for how much... 2 minutes total? And even from just that, he seemed like a calm and composed guy. No sign of mental problems whatsoever. Mark - He's hyper, that's what people say at least. But is he really? Kind of hard to believe when all we've seen of him is two scenes of adrenalin rush, one scene where he tries to lift the spirits of his coworkers and one scene where he just decides to go back home because this adventure is obviously over. No sign of mental illness here either. Lucy - A little more visible traumatic impact than with Atsushi and some abandonment issues, which are completely understandable and relatable. Not necessarily a mental illness. Poe - Ok so Poe doesn't feel well in company of others and he is a little psychotic when he gets too into his self-assigned role but 1) introverts are not mentally ill and 2) it's completely natural to get carried away when we witness the person we believe wronged us getting some karma back.

The one group that appeared for such a short time, yet everyone seems to love them, the Rats Fyodor - The most obvious god complex, clearly. He's not sane but he's stable so there's that. Nobody says he's ok, he's clearly not. But he's composed and smart enough to not let his issues control him. Ivan - Part of his brain is literally gone. He's not ok. he can't be. And unless part of your brain is missing too, you physically can't relate to him. Pushkin - Actually a stable, understandable character. Weak men are known through all of history to be the causes of major drama simply because their complexes over being weak lead to them finding joy in torturing the strong. It's not a mental illness, it's just bad character. Oguri - Clearly, Ogugu has issues. Call it survivor's guilt or PTSD or whatever you want, he has issues. Nobody is denying that. Still, he's doing fairly well when not desperatelly trying to seem evil.

I do not feel like doing the Hunting Dogs for the sole reason of me not liking them enough to focus on their mental states but they are pretty much lab rats, artificially enhanced humans and that alone should be enough to explain why I don’t believe in applying normal psychology to them. As for the Decay of Angels, there’s still much more to learn about them so I won’t get into that just yet. And when it comes to the governmental agents, I haven’t read the novels so I only know a bit about Ango and I honestly don’t see how anyone could think Ango has a mental illness.

I repeat again, these are my opinions, based on my experiences and what I’ve studied about mental illnesses (because believe it or not, I study about these things quite a lot). It doesn’t fit except for Tumblr romanticised versions of them and even those are iffy. You’re free to agree and disagree with all of this or with just certain parts but please don’t feel required to share your thoughts, I frankly don’t much care.

With that I bid you goodbye, at least until another thing prompts me to make a long-ass analysis almost nobody will read, nor care for.

[kinghe]

little solutions (chuuaku) | ao3 | 1k+ words

i.

His body has always been a vessel for his power. It’s no more than the means to an end, and no less. 

Chuuya leaves for his trip to England and comes back with a first aid kit in one hand, alcohol in the other. He watches the scowl form on Chuuya’s face, the wrinkling of flesh at the corner of his mouth and between his eyes.  

Akutagawa’s clothes are a tool to wield his ability; his shoulders a frame for them, but it’s not Rashomon that shakes under Chuuya’s combat-calloused hands.  

When Chuuya next leaves, it’s another long-winded mission; a trip guaranteed to last at least a month longer than his last job. Akutagawa doesn’t think about the leather and husky tones and practiced movements tucked within the sinews of his palms the same way he doesn’t think about the white crescent marks left in Chuuya’s.  

The next time such warmth breaches the surface of his hands, it’s the erratic pulse of some man’s throat before it gets slit by Rashomon’s talons.  

ii.  

 There’s a moment of stillness that comes after annihilation. It’s not often they share it together; their factions demand different things of them, and they’re horsepower of separate kinds. The aftermath leaves not a single pleasant thing to look at. Even the debris of the warehouse giving way to the falling sun is a reminder of early morning hours exhausting into the dead of the afternoon, the hottest part of the day.  

Chuuya had lost at least two of his men. It’s yet another abnormality, and Akutagawa is once again unfamiliar with the energy blazing through Chuuya’s stance, nor the repentance that usually follows and that which stunts the lightness of Chuuya’s footsteps when he goes to give in his report.   

Then Chuuya meets his eyes, and there is something in the pit of Akutagawa’s stomach that is more felt than known, the kind of striking heat he had not remembered since Dazai’s arm pierced through the abyss like a thread awaiting his grasp. The look continues, and Akutagawa is struggling not to turn away.  

There’s not a single pleasant thing to look at, and Chuuya keeps his eyes trained on him until day bleeds into night. 

(It is then he learns that his body’s purpose is to act as passage for Rashomon, and Chuuya’s is to contain.) 

iii. 

 The chill of the winter comes like icicles sliding down his ankles, but Akutagawa feels renewed, as though finally able to take his first full breath. The heat had dissolved in Yokohama, travelling across the sea like an overtaken spirit. It left the day cushioned in thick fog, the nights filtered through blues and greys.  

Akutagawa appreciated the ease the piercing cold granted his lungs, even if it meant circulation failed to reach the tips of his fingers.  

“Someone’s looking for you,” Akutagawa whips his gaze up, and Chuuya is there, leaning against the side of his car and flicking ash from his cigarette. His voice is tinged with amusement, and Akutagawa’s body strings up tight from being caught off-guard. “Half of the building’s been interrogated.” 

Akutagawa makes a stiff move to bow but Chuuya hurriedly waves him off, “Come on, none of that shit.”  

“Chuuya-san,” Akutagawa acknowledges.

Eventually, Chuuya says, “I don’t envy you right now.” He eyes the extent of Akutagawa’s injuries and jerks his chin to motion at either the battered state of his face or the sling containing his arm. “So, it’s not my problem if you won’t stay put.”   

Akutagawa stays silent as Chuuya puts out his cigarette, the need to dismiss himself growing by the second, but Chuuya’s company was better than Higuchi’s. “How long have they got you in for?” 

“A week.”  

“That bad?” 

“No.” Akutagawa answered.  

Chuuya watches him carefully. The days following the operation were the worst, a blur of pain and restlessness - humiliation that stretched with Higuchi’s constant visits and air permeating everywhere but his lungs. Needless to say, he isn’t going back.

Somehow Chuuya sees something that satisfies him because he shrugs, “Well, you’re up and walking so I’d say you’re doing something right.”  

Akutagawa nods, and he can’t deny the pulse of relief Chuuya’s words give him, though it’s gone as soon as Higuchi’s voice pierces through the fog. He hears Chuuya’s snort and realises the disdain he felt must have been visible. A beat, and then Chuuya is looking at him, and then at his car, and then back to him.  

They burn rubber getting away from the curb, and the soreness of his bones, the silence and Higuchi are drowned out by the sound of Chuuya’s laughter; bold and almost, but too hearty to be called a cackle, a backdrop to the grin that stretches his lips tight and bares his teeth. It creates a kind of flippancy contrary to Chuuya’s attitude on the battlefield with dozens of men under his command, and Akutagawa feels his shoulders drawing in, baffled as they drive into traffic.  

  iv. 

 They run into each other again. This time, it’s different. Chuuya stands from where he was perched, offers him a close-lipped smile, and for some reason, it’s more intriguing to look at than the dark shadows under his eyes. Chuuya places a hand on his shoulder, and Rashomon lives through Akutagawa’s strained breath, but his shoulder is connected to his neck, to his chest, his arms, his abdomen –  

  v.  

 Chuuya doesn’t know the exact point in time in which it became acceptable to see Akutagawa as anything more (or less) than the boy with the title ‘Silent Rabid Dog of the Port Mafia.’

It’s not like Chuuya has his handle on things either; he rides the highs of his victories, he crashes, he drinks it away. And Akutagawa, he grits his teeth, mends himself around bullets and sleeps with his eyes wide open and blood in his mouth while looking like he’s never had a single fucking thing to eat in his life. 

Chuuya is no stranger to gravity. Akutagawa, however, is, and he’s floating a million miles off the ground until Chuuya’s steady hand holds him down against the earth.  

[brazenautomaton]

Now that Silent Partner, Unfinished Business is complete, it’s time for answers and trivia and commentary and other such spoilers under a readmore! Send me an ask if you have any other questions about stuff, or post it as an AO3 comment.

First, the chapter titles. Following the naming convention of 100 Bullets, each of them references or alludes to the chapter number that it is.

One Is The Lowliest Number - references “One Is The Loneliest Number” by Three Dog Night. 

Folie a Deux - “Folie a Deux” or “Madness of Two” is when people transmit psychiatric illness, delusions, or hallucinations through social connection.

Bad Company - references the phrase “Three’s company, four’s a crowd” - and “Bad Company”, by Bad Company, on the album Bad Company.

Forewarned is Foreboding - references the phrase “Forewarned is Forearmed”

Slaughterhouse - references “Slaughterhouse-Five” by Kurt Vonnegut

Six Degrees of Severance - references the concept of “Six Degrees Of Separation”, and the process of severing a connection.

Magnificent - references the classic Western “The Magnificent Seven”.

Termination Procedure - AKA “Termin8ion Procedure”, it’s the process you go through to end someone’s employment.

Never A Cloudy Day - September is the ninth month of the year, "September” by Earth Wind And Fire contains the lyric “Say do you remember / Dancing in September / Never was a cloudy day”.

Epilogue: Decision - Deci-, as in decimal, is the Latin prefix meaning ten or tenth. 

I wrote the first version of this story over 10 years ago. I wrote myself into a corner in Chapter 5, because the Yotsuba Kira was still Higuchi, and it lay untouched for a decade. Naomi could write fluently and at length, her relationship with Misa was way easier, everything else was way easier, and it honestly wasn’t that good. I think like 1/3rd of chapters 1 through 4 are made up of text from the old version?

The idea of this being a fix fic to bring back a character that the narrative shortchanged was not the first idea. The first idea was “100 Bullets and Death Note ask exactly the same question, what would you do if you could kill someone and get away with it. But they answer it in totally different ways. How could those two concepts meet? Well, who in Death Note was betrayed and would seek revenge? Naomi Misora is a good candidate. How do I bring her back to life in a way that doesn’t seem she got off scot free?”

The original version of the story had no hints about the Minutemen (or the Trust, L’s employers) because none of that stuff was in the 100 Bullets comic yet, or at least not the trade paperbacks I had access to. The Minutemen and the Trust are kind of lame, to be honest, and they kinda dilute the elements and stories that made 100 Bullets compelling, but they are a perfect match for all the unanswered questions about L that Ryuzaki vocalizes in chapter 6.

You probably noticed how everyone had to stammer and search for the word “aphasia”. Did you notice that Misa was the only one who ever correctly used the word, had it immediately called to mind, and wasn’t reading it off a piece of paper? She was thinking about that word a lot more than everyone else.

I don’t remember when I first started using the double-slash notation for written text, but I figured that calling out written text was extremely, extremely important in a story where written text is extremely, extremely important for multiple reasons. I don’t know if I’ll use it for anything else I write.

Light’s symbolic fruit is the apple, obviously. Naomi is seen drinking orange juice and eating orange-flavored things, because they are as dissimilar as apples and oranges. Misa -- stuck between them and unsure of whose identity she will adopt -- drinks a lot of spring water.

“Midland Carbide Labs” and “Amalgamated Flourodynamics” are the two opposing player teams in the Half-Life mod “Science and Industry”, where players abduct scientists from each other to research their weapons.

Beta reader @ellieintheskywithroxy is a qt3.14.

Misa did a photoshoot, as a Malkavian vampire schoolgirl, for White Wolf Publishing back in the day. She thinks that White Wolf owns vampires the same way the Tolkien estate owns hobbits, so any changes they make to their setting are Official Vampire Changes, and she was miffed they got rid of Masquerade. Depending on her mood she thinks Naomi is either a Brujah or a Toreador.

Light’s “decoy Kira” plan was going to explode if it ever got to the point where he commanded or tricked Kira-Y into giving up his memories -- Nabiki Egawa would remember everything and they’d figure out Kira’s deception real fast.

The fact that Light’s WoW character is a Holy Paladin who he did not earn but instead purchased illicitly is extremely intentional. He plays WoW instead of a made-up game because A: I can cite details and people will appreciate the deep pulls and B: if I made up my own online game with a character as completely braindead easy to play as a Holy Pally in Burning Crusade, to allow Light to type messages while playing, it would look like I was making up absurd nonsense to make things easy on the character.

Naomi’s reaction to the BB case mirrors my own. I honestly could not finish the light novel because I found the authorial voice so grating, and the combination of smugness with the complete lack of knowledge about how things work in the setting of the story (literally one of the first things in the narration is something along the lines of “Of course her superiors were demeaning her, she was a woman and Japanese and this was America and we don’t need to go into any more detail than that”) was infuriating. And in the story that is supposed to be Naomi’s time to shine, she accomplishes nothing, saves no one, may as well not have gotten out of bed, and the things we’re supposed to see as her being a genius are her ability to follow along the clues that she is being spoon-fed by the actual serial killer. Jesus, dude. I said this whole incident gave her an incredible sense of impostor syndrome and hatred for her job, because the rest of the world -- like the LN itself -- acts like she accomplished something when she clearly did not. 

Similarly, I changed the details of Misa’s confinement to make sense. On someone else’s post, someone asked if Misa was tortured -- the depiction of her treatment is so inconsistent and incoherent that this is impossible to answer in the canon. They say she was denied water for three days, but has none of the symptoms of it. They have her bound a to gurney apparatus that takes twenty minutes to set up, and let her out every single time she asks to pee, and somehow she never tries to escape. And of course she gets out after a month of not moving with no muscle atrophy. This version is supposed to be a coherent model of treatment that sits on the borderline, in a grey area -- it’s torture if it’s done to inflict pain, and not torture if it’s done out of a reasonable concern for safety. The Second Kira was the most dangerous human being on the planet Earth and they had no idea how she worked. Some of her confinement was obviously necessary for the sake of safety. But how much of it was, and for how long was it warranted?

Most of the new Death Note rules are introduced to set up things that happen later, answer niggling questions I had, or just flesh out the concepts introduced. But the rule about “Once your lifespan goes negative, if you try to update it again, it just flips the fuck out” is just so Naomi and Misa can’t know how much lifespan Rem gave them.

There was no good or natural time to show it, but the moment Misa heard about rule 38a, which says that you can only regain your memory of the Death Note six times, she figured out if it was possible to surrender a Death Note that wasn’t being actively haunted (it was), she just reclaimed and gave up an evidence sheet of //ARVC-5// five more times.

Ryuzaki has no idea where the pina coladas are coming from and at this point he is too afraid to ask.

[bungoustraydogz]

How do you feel about Akutagawa and Higuchi together?

*grandma voice* It has been 84 years…. and I finally get to answer this! I am so sorry my dear.

Okay so, since I replied to something similar once I won’t type a novel this time x:

I don’t even know where to start oh my god.Maybe first of all: I heard 439492038294 times that Higuchi is “useless” and “annoying”. My opinion on that: As I see it, people who say that are either salty because they see Higuchi as a character that gets in the way of their Shin Soukoku ship or they simply refer to the fact that she isn’t a ability user and therefore think she is weak. And both is bullshit, especially the first option.And here is the bridge to your actual question:

Higuchi stepped out of her comfort zone, even grew out of her own inner borders, pushed through her personal limits when Akutagawa was in danger. And let me add that she went off to save him on her own. I am not saying this to proof a point that “she loves/admires him” (which I am pretty sure she does, I mean that crazy bi*ch even stalked him and cried, thinking he is dating another woman when he actually just met his sister; not to mention how excited she gets when it’s about Aku. And that all even after he slapped her and despite the fact that his mind is often dark and his words harsh. So, I am not bringing arguments to show her admiration)

As I see it, Akutagawa brings out the power and courage within her. She has a hard time being repected by the Mafia members, for obvious reasons. If you ask me, she doesn’t belong there, she’s too pure, but as she said herself, the reason she can’t leave is a certain someone being there. And for that someone she puts herself together and -like I said before- pushes far beyond her own limits. So far that those who didn’t respect her start following. Like, wow??!!

^ So far about the influence Aku has on Higuchi. That all might sound as if I approve the relationship, but I really have to say in my eyes most possible kinds of relationships between those two are kind of toxic.As you said yourself, he slapped her, he shouts at her and no matter how hard she tries he just doesn’t approve. And that’s unhealthy in many ways.BUT on the other side: If we assume Higuchi is mentally stable enough and reaches a point of sincere approvoal things really change. In that case her fire would be fueled while she herself has a soothing influence on Aku.To be fair, he isn’t the most popular guy plus all the things Dazai said and did, always denying / never showing any form of approvoal in the past (until the last scene in s2; to keep it spoiler free and all) must have damaged his self esteem. I’d go as far as to say Higuchi is the only person who believes in him 100% (not sure about Gins feelings here, but you know what I mean); and that is such an intense thing

[trixiedragon]

i wanted to throw out some thoughts about the upcoming Grand Prix Series for figure skating, because, well... it's beginning, and it's an exciting year.  i'm a little late, since the first day of the Rostelecom Cup is already over, but... i started writing this before, and kinda... messed up my time zone calcs so... sighs.

anyway, before i dive in, i just wanted to say... i've never been a huge Gracie Gold fan, but i feel so strongly for her now, and i admire her courage in choosing to forgo the GPS to continue her mental health treatment, and how wonderful and brave it is of her to talk so publicly and frankly about it.  i wish her the best.

there are soooooo many skaters right now who are under phenomenal pressure... there are skaters whose countries are depending on them to bring them glory, skaters who have everything riding on this season... skaters who are at the right age now to make their first Olympics, skaters who are facing their last Olympics... even the ones at the top who you might think are in a good position.  Yuzuru Hanyu will be trying to be the first man since Dick Button to win consecutive Olympic golds (back in 1952!).  Evgenia Medvedeva had the burden of bearing a pretty much perfect senior record, and the expectation of all of Russia going into every move she makes.  and for the rest of the Russian ladies, well... there's about five or six to fill the other two spots.  Nathan Chen and Shouma Uno are under the pressure to overcome a favorite to achieve their own dreams.  i mean... it's this weird thing when the most important 'match' of your sport only happens once every four years...

anyway, it's the kind of season where anything can happen, so it's pretty exciting to be watching from the start.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

so onto the thoughts...

Rostelecom Cup, October 20–22 notable skaters Men :  Yuzuru Hanyu, Nathan Chen, yes, they start the GPS with a showdown... *coughs*, Mikhail Kolyada.  also, Denis Ten, Deniss Vasiljevs, Misha Ge, and Dmitri Aliev. Ladies : Evgenia Medvedeva, Elena Radionova, Mirai Nagesu, Wakaba Higuchi, Carolina Kostner.  also, Elizabet Tursynbayeva. Pairs : Evgenia Tarasova / Vladimir Morozov Ice Dance :  Maia and Alex Shibutani, Ekaterina Bobrova and Dmitri Soloviev

my thoughts what an exciting way to kick off!!  Evgenia, Yuzuru, Nathan, and the Shib sibs!!!  at the moment, i'd say that Nathan Chen is still in warm-up mode, but we'll see how competing against Yuzuru right at the start affects him.  in any case, with that lineup, the men's program is sure to be fun to watch.  Evgenia will blow us all away, it's pretty much guaranteed.  i've noticed in my... extremely cursory look into skating fandom that people tend to be rabidly in love with her (like... every announcer and commentator ever...) or rabidly anti-Evgenia, but i've noticed that the antis also tend to be... rabid Yuna Kim fans, presumably disgruntled because she broke all of Queen Yuna's records (but... that's honestly so stupid, because... records are made to be broken, and Evgenia's skating is what it is because Queen Yuna set the standard as high as she did, plus... those two literally never competed against each other???  so?????  there's literally no reason... ever... for their fans to compete?????) or they tend to be, well.... canadian fans.  canadian skaters, in my opinion, have a leg up in being darlings of the judges (unless they're like Gabrielle Daleman, and are considered 'too acrobatic' *eye roll*...) and canadian skating fans tend to, well, expect that advantage.  regardless, Evgenia has already skated two separate free programs in the pre-GPS competitions.  one to music from the Leftovers, and one from music to Anna Karenina.  both programs are interesting, but the poor girl - who must be under such HUGE pressure to maintain her dominance and win gold at the Olympics - seems to get criticism no matter what she does.  she's either too childish and immature and her expressions aren't believable, or she's trying to do something too mature and not believable.  i just hope that whichever program she goes with, it's the one SHE connects to the strongest.  the rest of the ladies field is... CRAZY competitive.  Carolina Kostner is making her big return,  and she is an elegant and beautiful skater, but she will be outjumped by her younger competitors.  Wakabe Higuchi is poised to have a stellar season, but so is Mirai Nagesu. in fact, this could (finally) be Mirai's season, especially if she's able to land a triple axel (she's been attempting them).  and, tho Evgenia is head and shoulders above all her competition, there are several other impressive russian ladies, including Elena Radionova, who is close to Evgenia's age.  in pair and ice dance, there's a much wider gulf between the top teams and the rest of the field, so there are several standouts and lots of also rans.  i don't follow pairs as closely, i know that russian pair was winning a lot last year, so.  there aren't that many ice dance pairs of note, but the shib sibs and bobrova/soloviev should be outstanding.  i'm also VERY excited to see the Shib Sibs new programs.  Maia wrote about them extensively here, but since this is their first competition this year, i'm really looking forward to that.

[just a quick post-SP note... Nathan was phenomenal.  he's leading Yuzuru, but he knows better than to rest on that laud... Evgenia was, in fact, breathtaking, but poor Mirai... imploded.  that one SP might ruin her GPF chances, but it remains to be seen how she can bounce back.  she did do the triple axel, but she didn't exactly land it.  Elena Radionova and Wakaba Higuchi were both amazing, but Carolina Kostner was in top form.  the russian pair, Evgenia Tarasova / Vladimir Morozov, were a~~ma~~~zing.  ☆_☆   and then and then and then....!!!!  maia and alex!!!!  their program was everything maia wrote about!  it's got some polishing to do, but that's to be expected at this point, but if they get the program perfected, they absolutely can complete with virtue/moir, so it's really exciting!]

predictions Men :  it would be pretty shocking to me if the podium didn't consist of Hanyu, Chen, and Kolyada, and slightly less but still shocking if it didn't go in that order Ladies : Evgenia will win gold, that's not even a prediction, if that doesn't happen it'll be a tragedy.  however, it's a crowded field for the next two and three spots.  everyone needs to place at least in the top four to have a chance of making the final.  i expect Wakaba, Mirai, Elena, and Carolina to be up there, but i'm reallllllly hoping Mirai can pull off a medal. Pairs : gold for Tarasova/Morozov, don't know about the rest Ice Dance :  Shib sibs gold, Bobrova/Soloviev silver, don't know enough to guess bronze.

Skate Canada, October 27–29 notable skaters Men :  Patrick Chan, Shouma Uno, Jason Brown Ladies : Kaetlyn Osmond, Marin Honda, Rika Hongo, Anna Pogorilaya, Maria Sotskova, Karen Chen, Ashley Wagner Pairs : Meagan Duhamel / Eric Radford, Peng Cheng / Jin Yang, Vanessa James / Morgan Ciprès, Aliona Savchenko / Bruno Massot Ice Dance :  Tessa Virtue / Scott Moir, Kaitlyn Weaver / Andrew Poje, Madison Hubbell / Zachary Donohue

what a crowded field.  just. wow.  well, except for the men... it should be noted that home skaters always have an advantage in these GPS events.  that being said, Patrick Chan SHOULD have trouble beating Shouma Uno here... after all, in his first competition this season, Uno got a new personal best total score, the second highest personal best of all time.  however, he'll still do awesome.  jason brown................. might have trouble medaling.  even though the men's competition is a little thin, but it's going to be a tough battle for him all season.  i do hope he wins something.  the ladies competition is insane.  just.  absolutely insane.  literally every skater i've listed there is worthy of being in the top three/four.  it's insane.  karen chen.... she has such promise, but she's also very inconsistent. i was ready to write her off for this season because, frankly, her programs were underwhelming to the extreme.  however... she's changed up her free program, which is a GOOD decision.  (she should also change her short program, too.  SO MANY SKATERS are using moulin rougue music, most of them the SAME music, and sadly for all of them, virtue and moir are using it, so... VERY few of those other programs have any chance of being memorable.)  for pairs... GOD, i HOPE this is James and Ciprès' season of awesome!!!!  they are so... engaging, exciting, charismatic... i really hope they do well.  for the rest............... i'm not huge fans of Duhamel/Radford, but they have home ice advantage.  we'll see.  and the glorious start of Virtue & Moir's season... they will be EXCEPTIONAL.

predictions Men :  Uno for gold, Chan for silver........ hopefully Brown for bronze Ladies :  i'm sorry, but Kaetlyn Osmond pretty much already has gold *coughs*whether she deserves it or not*coughs*.   i can't even comprehend how crowded this field is, it's almost unfair... two great japanese skaters, two great russian skaters, and two great US skaters.  i guess i would put my money on Anna Pogorilaya, and my hope on Ashely Wagner Pairs :  James and Ciprès gold (i hope!), Aliona Savchenko / Bruno Massot either gold or silver, and then Peng Cheng/Jin Yang or Duhamel/Radford but... probably should be Peng Cheng/Jin Yang Ice Dance :  Tessa Virtue / Scott Moir, Kaitlyn Weaver / Andrew Poje, Madison Hubbell / Zachary Donohue probably in order (well, definitely gold for Virtue/Moir)

Cup of China, November 3–5 notable skaters Men : Boyang Jin, Javier Fernández, Vincent Zhou, Mikhail Kolyada Ladies : Gabrielle Daleman, Wakaba Higuchi, Marin Honda, Mai Mihara, Elena Radionova, Elizaveta Tuktamysheva, Alina Zagitova, Choi Da-bin Pairs : Sui Wenjing / Han Cong !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, Yu Xiaoyu / Zhang Hao, Ashley Cain / Timothy LeDuc Ice Dance :  Gabriella Papadakis / Guillaume Cizeron, Ekaterina Bobrova / Dmitri Soloviev, Madison Chock / Evan Bates

my thoughts not as tough a field, but it's china's time to shine.  and with Boyang Jin, Sui/Han!!!!!!!, and Yu Xiaoyu / Zhang Hao, they absolutely will shine.  however, this is also Javier's first GPS event, and he has some really charming programs this season.  i have big hopes for Vincent Zhou.  he's last season's Junior World champion, and he has an amazing free program... after landing 6th in the short program in his last competition, he won the free skate and got silver, so... there's every reason to have high hopes.  he's got big jumps and great expressions.  just a beautiful skater.  these russian women are going to sabotage themselves, really, especially since only three can go to the olympics.  there's just too many really great ones.  I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE SUI/HAN'S NEW PROGRAMS GIVE THEM ALL THE MEDALS ALLLL OF THEM!!!!!!!  yes, i really love James/Ciprès, but sui/han are just... so amazing to watch.  they deserve it all, they have such a great connection, and are so explosive.  the other chinese couple i've listed are also favorites of mine, he's so big and barrel-chested, and she's so tiny, it's so fun to watch.  ice dance is going to hurt my heart, because i'm really......... indifferent, at best, to the french couple, but the judges ADORE them.  ADORE everything they do.  (granted, ice dance is first and foremost about superb skating skills, and it can be really hard to judge that if you're not an expert, so...)  i love Chock/Bates, so i realllllllly hope they can pull it off.  this will also be their first competition this season, so it'll be VERY interesting to see their programs!!

predictions Men :  even with home ice... i think it'll be Fernández for gold, Jin for silver, and Zhou for bronze Ladies : Daleman has the necessary goods to win gold here, but both Wakaba Higuchi and Mai Mihara could spoil it for her.  all three of those russians are competitive, but Radionova probably the most, so.... ladies figure skating is CRAZY competitive this season... Pairs : Sui Wenjing / Han Cong, Yu Xiaoyu / Zhang Hao, Ashley Cain / Timothy LeDuc in that order, but Cain/LeDuc will be benefiting from relatively thin competition Ice Dance :  might as well give Papadakis/Cizeron the gold ahead of time for efficiency.  Bobrova/Soloviev and Chock and Bates will also medal, no idea which order

NHK Trophy, November 10–12 notable skaters Men : Yuzuru Hanyu, Patrick Chan, Dmitri Aliev, Jason Brown, Adam Rippon.  also, Deniss Vasiljevs Ladies : Evgenia Medvedeva, Carolina Kostner, Rika Hongo, Satoko Miyahara, Mirai Nagasu.  also, Mariah Bell Pairs :  Sui Wenjing / Han Cong !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  also, Alexa Scimeca Knierim / Chris Knierim Ice Dance :  Tessa Virtue / Scott Moir, Anna Cappellini/Luca Lanotte.  also, Madison Hubbell / Zachary Donohue

my thoughts boy, Sui/Han have to compete two weeks in a row... not sure if that's an advantage or disadvantage, but it doesn't really matter, as they really have no competition here.  another tough men's competition... and Adam Rippon's first GPS event!  this will turn into the battle of the Top Men Who Don't Really Do Quads or At Least Not Many, with Chan, Rippon, and Brown.  i didn't mention this before, but Deniss Vasiljevs is, ofc, Stéphane Lambiel's student, and it shows in his spins and presentation. i don't think he's really got the jumps to compete, but he's wonderful to watch, and he's still really young.  Evgenia will still dominate.  Carolina may have her GPS end here, with the tough japanese competition.  i'm not a huge fan of mariah bell, but i haven't seen her programs yet this season, so who knows.  virtue & moir will continue their season of glory, but i'm really a fan of that italian couple, Cappellini/Lanotte.  they're really fun and quirky and joyous.

predictions Men :  Hanyu for gold, Chan for silver, probably Rippon for bronze... hopefully jason brown will get fourth, but it's not at all certain Ladies : Evgenia for gold, probably Satoko Miyahara for silver, and hopefully Mirai Nagasu for bronze Pairs : Sui/Han are all that matters Ice Dance : Tessa Virtue / Scott Moir, Anna Cappellini/Luca Lanotte, Madison Hubbell / Zachary Donohue, in that order, Hubbell/Donohue once again lucky to have thin competition

Internationaux de France, November 17–19 notable skaters Men : Shouma Uno, Javier Fernández, Vincent Zhou.  also, Denis Ten, Misha Ge Ladies :  Kaetlyn Osmond, Mai Mihara, Elizaveta Tuktamysheva, Alina Zegitove, Maria Sotskova.  also, Elizabet Tursynbayeva Pairs :  Peng Cheng / Jin Yang, Vanessa James / Morgan Ciprès, Evgenia Tarasova / Vladimir Morozov Ice Dance :  Gabriella Papadakis / Guillaume Cizeron, Kaitlyn Weaver / Andrew Poje, Madison Chock / Evan Bates

my thoughts by this time, the finals picture should be getting quite clear.  again, these russian ladies are going to end up squeezing each other out of the finals...  will Shouma make it to gold or will Javier hold him off??  

predictions Men :  ...... i'll say... Shouma for gold, Javier silver, Vincent bronze Ladies :   Kaetlyn Osmond will win gold, and then... Mai Mihara silver, and then for bronze... probably Alina Zegitove, but Elizaveta Tuktamysheva and Maria Sotskova should both be close Pairs : Vanessa James / Morgan Ciprès for gold (hopefully), Evgenia Tarasova / Vladimir Morozov for silver (also a good bet for gold), Peng Cheng / Jin Yang bronze Ice Dance : Papadakis/Cizeron will win, hopefully Chock/Bates will get silver, and Weaver/Poje bronze

Skate America, November 24–26 notable skaters Men :  Nathan Chen, Boyang Jin, Adam Rippon.  also, Maxim Kovtun Ladies :  Gabrielle Daleman, Satoko Miyahara, Choi Da-bin, Anna Pogorilaya, Karen Chen, Ashley Wagner Pairs : Aliona Savchenko / Bruno Massot, Yu Xiaoyu / Zhang Hao, Meagan Duhamel / Eric Radford, Alexa Scimeca Knierim / Chris Knierim Ice Dance :  Maia and Alex Shibutani, Anna Cappellini/Luca Lanotte, Piper Gilles/Paul Poirier

my thoughts the last stop before the final!!  i don't know how nathan will feel, being in the first event and then waiting around to the last... but he has the temperament to not really be bothered.  again, the ladies field is glutted with talent... Choi Da-bin is a young lady with a TON of pressure on her.  she's the top female skater from Korea in the year they are hosting the Olympics.  at the last Olympics, Queen Yuna was still reigning, so they're probably looking for a new leader from their ranks, but... it's just too glutted a field.  o___o. it's crazy.  also, Satoko Miyahara won the silver in the GPF last year, but was injured shortly after that and didn't compete at worlds.  hard to say how her healing has gone, but she's got the potential.   the Americans will have a tough time here, but they have home ice advantage, so... there's... that.  pairs is underwhelming, and the Shib Sibs are in the same boat as Nathan, but they're so busy with pre-Olympics obligations, it's probably a relief.

predictions Men :  Nathan Chen for gold, Boyang Jin for silver, Adam Rippon bronze Ladies :  Gabrielle Dalemon or Satoko Miyahara for gold, and... Anna Pogorilaya for bronze.  Ashley and Karen's only hope might be to get fourth and squeeze in... Pairs : Aliona Savchenko / Bruno Massot gold, rest kinda doesn't matter Ice Dance : Maia and Alex Shibutani, Anna Cappellini/Luca Lanotte, Piper Gilles/Paul Poirier, in that order

2017–18 Grand Prix Final, December 7–10

SO THEN.  my guesses for the final six...??????

Men :  Yuzuru Hanyu, Shouma Uno, Nathan Chen, Javier Fernández, Patrick Chan, Boyang Jin... probably.  Adam Rippon and Vincent Zhou will be close Ladies :  Evgenia Medvedeva is unquestionable.  the field is so tight, it's hard to predict.  Kaetlyn Osmond is probably the next surest thing.  Gabrielle Daleman, Satoko Miyahara, Mai Mihara, Wakaba Higuchi, Anna Pogorilaya, Elena Radionova, Mirai Nagesu, Alina Zegitove, Maria Sotskova... they're all potentials.  many of them will end up getting cut simply because of the tough competition Pairs : Sui/Han, Vanessa James / Morgan Ciprès, Evgenia Tarasova / Vladimir Morozov, Aliona Savchenko / Bruno Massot, i don't really know enough about pairs to guess further Ice Dance :  Virtue/Moir ofc, the Shib Sibs and Gabriella Papadakis / Guillaume Cizeron are locks, Ekaterina Bobrova and Dmitri Soloviev, Chock/Bates, and i hope hope hope Anna Cappellini/Luca Lanotte

medal predictions???? dare i??????? Men :  Hanyu, Uno, and Chen will all make the podium.  take your pick who gets what Ladies :  Evgenia will win gold.  other than that, it's too hard to even predict who will be competing against her... Pairs : Sui/Han will win gold (i hope).  James/Ciprès, Tarasova/Morozov, and Savchenko/Massot will all be right there, i hope James/Ciprès can medal... Ice Dance :  Virtue/Moir is as sure a thing all season as Evgenia is.  i REALLY hope that the Shib Sibs and Chock/Bates join them on the podium, but realistically i know that Papadakis/Cizeron will be hard to beat for silver, even... (for some reason i can't quite work out...)

[perlanemesis]

A Lying Thief, chapter 2

Pairing: Dazai Osamu/Nakahra Chuuya, slight Akutagawa Ryuunosuke/Nakajima Atsushi Word count: 2,932 (chapter 2) Summary: Detective Nakahara Chuuya and his colleagues have been trying to catch the elusive phantom thieves for several months and the constant flirting from the mysterious leader of the thieves is certainly not helping. Links: ff || ao3 Inspired by: Treasure Beneath the Moonlight event in mobile game Bungo Stray Dogs: Tales of the Lost >>Chapter 1<<                                                                    >>Chapter 3<<

Chuuya spent majority of the night thinking about previous night's events. As it turned out, he knew his mysterious thief. It was none other than Dazai Osamu from the Armed Detective Agency. And the person who interrupted Dazai's scheme was his partner Kunikida Doppo. Dazai and Kunikida were kind of famous around Yokohama for their skills and teamwork. And then there was Edogawa Ranpo, a self-titled best detective in the world. 

The Armed Detective Agency took on jobs that were either too violent or too difficult to solve for the police, although sometimes they did end up teaming up for some cases. So naturally Chuuya has met Dazai before. They haven't actually talked much beyond what was necessary for work and even though Chuuya did find Dazai attractive, he also thought that Dazai was kind of an idiot. And now it turned out that this idiot has been dressing up as a thief and stealing jewels for a few months because he was interested in Chuuya? Chuuya groaned into his pillow. There was no way he was getting any rest.

When Chuuya showed up at work next morning he looked exhausted.

"Hey, you okay?" Tachihara asked looking sincerely worried for his colleague.

"Just tired from chasing those phantom thieves," Chuuya sighed and felt his irritation coming back.

Tachihara nodded.

"I feel you! I thought I had him cornered but I glanced away for a second and he was gone!" Tachihara ruffled his hair in frustration and turned to Akutagawa. "Any leads?"

"No."

Akutagawa didn't even look up from his desk as he said this. He just kept glaring at sprawled papers like glaring would help him solve the case. He did have a hunch but that wasn't enough.

The office fell into silence. Finally Chuuya spoke.

"Say, have you two heard anything weird last night?"

Both Tachihara and Akutagawa looked at Chuuya.

"No?" Akutagawa answered unsure. As far as he could remember he was too busy running up and down the building to pay attention to anything else.

Tachihara thought for a second but his reply was the same.

"No, I don't think so. Did something happen?"

I kissed my enemy and then found out that he's actually kinda my rival.

Chuuya couldn't bear to say that out loud. He sighed. There was no evidence aside from Chuuya hearing somebody (he wasn't even sure it was Kunikida) yelling Dazai's name. He couldn't prove anything but maybe sharing the information would help?

Someone gently knocked on the door. Higuchi poked her head inside the room.

"Some people from the Armed Detective Agency are here and requested you three," she said.

Three detectives exchanged glances and followed Higuchi.

When the trio entered the room, they were met with a scowling Kunikida and three other men. Higuchi quietly slipped away. Chuuya observed the guests. Next to Kunikida stood a silver haired young man. Nakajima Atsushi was his name, right? He looked nervous and refused to look anyone in the eye. Next to him stood Dazai, smile plastered on his face. Chuuya suddenly felt an urge to punch him. And then finally Ranpo with a bored expression on his face. Both Chuuya and Akutagawa immediately recognized their thieves.

Tachihara spoke first.

"So, um, how may we help you?"

Kunikida looked highly displeased with the whole situation. Chuuya couldn't blame him.

"Actually, we came here because of the whole phantom thieves situation," Kunikida began slowly. He adjusted his glasses and then continued. "You see, the thieves were these three."

Tachihara and Akutagawa blinked. Once. Twice.

"Then, the robberies were...?" Tachihara trailed off. This whole situation turned out to be a bigger headache than he had imagined.

"Not real," Akutagawa finished, his mind already working to find the clues he had missed.

"Fitzgerald owned us a favour," Dazai grinned.

Akutagawa frowned. He always felt that the case was suspicious. Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald didn't seem like a man who would let some thieves continuously steal from him. And yet, aside from asking specifically for Chuuya's team to investigate the matter, he hasn't shown any interest in the case at all. But Akutagawa had no firm evidence that the case was fake. And besides, as long as the chase continued he could still meet that cute silver haired thief.

Kunikida adjusted his glasses again.

"Yes. And that is precisely why we came here to apologize for the trouble."

Kunikida bowed deeply. The boy next to him nervously did the same.

"I-I'm really sorry f-for the trouble!"

Akutagawa nodded at him, a small smile on his face.

The other two did not bow or show any signs of remorse. Dazai was still smiling and had his eyes fixed on Chuuya (who was doing his best to avoid Dazai's gaze) and Ranpo was still looking bored and disinterested as if he had no involvement in the situation.

"Dazai, your turn," Kunikida spoke harshly but it had no effect.

"Messing with my cute little detective was fun," Dazai grinned and Chuuya felt his blood boil.

However Kunikida seemed to be losing his patience as well.

"Dazai, apologize," Kunikida's voice was threatening. "Should I call Oda? Or maybe Sakaguchi?"

Surprisingly this got Dazai's attention. He quickly turned to face Kunikida.

"Neither! And since when Kunikida-kun knows how to blackmail?!"

"Apo-lo-gize."

Dazai pouted.

"You wouldn't dare."

Kunikida adjusted his glasses and took out his phone.

"Are you sure?"

Apparently that worked because Dazai turned his attention back to Chuuya and actually bowed. Chuuya blinked unsure how to feel about this turn of events. But when Dazai actually spoke, Chuuya felt his anger resurfacing.

"While I am sorry for the trouble, I cannot deny that having your attention was fun, mon petit détective ~"

Kunikida just sighed, apparently not in the mood to press his partner further.

"Ranpo-san, could you please apologize too?" Kunikida asked his colleague.

Ranpo looked over three police detectives.

"I will not apologize. This case should have been solved in a few minutes and yet you couldn't solve it for months."

This definitely hit a nerve for all three police detectives but Ranpo wasn't done yet.

"I knew that police are stupid but this stupid? If it weren't for Kunikida, how long would you have continued chasing us?"

"I did have my suspicions," Akutagawa started. "But we had no actual evidence, so..."

Ranpo snorted.

"Then you didn't look hard enough. Or didn't try. Regardless, I wanted to test you and you all failed."

Nobody said anything back. Ranpo was right. Both Chuuya and Akutagawa had mixed feelings about catching their thieves. Chuuya in particular found it harder and harder to hate his enemy. Tachihara gave his best but he never stood a chance to win against Ranpo.

Kunikida coughed to get everyone's attention.

"Then we will be taking our leave."

Kunikida and Atsushi bowed once again and turned to leave. Ranpo followed them and Dazai grabbed Chuuya's arm.

"We need to speak for a bit," he told Chuuya, then turned to Kunida. "We will meet back in the office. I have to sort out some things."

"Fine, just don't do anything stupid."

Then he once again turned away and left. Atsushi looked back and gave Akutagawa a small wave before jogging after Kunikida and Ranpo.

Akutagawa gently waved back at him, a small smile once again appearing on his face.

----

When they reached detectives' office, Chuuya turned back to face Dazai and crossed his arms.

"So, what do you want?"

Dazai looked serious, playful smile completely gone from his face.

"I meant everything I said yesterday. I really do like you."

Dazai looked sincere.

"So you became a thief to get my attention?" Chuuya asked remembering their conversation.

Dazai beamed. "Yup!"

"And dragged your friends into it?" Chuya asked, though he did feel his cheeks burning up.

Dazai laughed.

"Hey, I didn't force them. Ranpo-san thought it will be fun to test you guys and Atsushi did it because he's a good friend."

Chuuya sighed and uncrossed his arms as he looked at Dazai.

"But why couldn't you just flirt like a normal person? Why do this?" Chuuya made a motion with his hands.

Dazai pouted.

"But I did try! You just ignored me!"

Chuuya blinked in surprise.

"Have we even talked before?"

"That's the point! I tried talking to you, getting your attention, you just completely  ignored me!"

Now he was seriously pouting, looking more like an upset child rather than an adult man.

Chuuya thought for a moment. He tried to recall any time Dazai attempted to flirt with him but couldn't remember anything.

"See? You can't even remember." Dazai was still pouting.

"So you decided to become a criminal? Because I didn't pay attention?" Chuuya wasn't sure if he should be feel flattered or amused.

"Technically, I didn't commit any crime," Dazai pointed out. "Fitzgerald agreed to this."

"You wasted our time!" Chuuya fired back.

"But is that prank serious enough to put us in prison?" Dazai smirked.

"No..." Chuuya relented. "So what do you want?"

Dazai pretended to think for a moment but then grinned.

"Hmm, a lot of things. But right now I would like a date with my cute little detective~"

"Call me little again and I will kill you!" Chuuya growled and tried to punch Dazai but failed and got hugged instead.

"So, how about that date?"

It didn't seem like Dazai was phased by Chuuya's attempt at his life. Chuuya made a half-hearted attempt to break out of Dazai's embrace but eventually decided that he actually liked it. He wouldn't say it out loud, though.

"Fine, I will go on a date with you," Chuuya grumbled but apparently that was enough for Dazai who broke into a huge smile.

[mislxdged-bullets]

Headcanon Starter Pack

Mun Shuu: Mmm, ‘cause who don’t like headcanons? I also need to give myself some stable idea of what I’m doing, because I’m just free-falling at this point. Here we go!

Still sorta fiddling around with her backstory, but I imagine she came from a somewhat well-to-do, respectable family, and had a falling out with them sometime during high school. Seeing as how Higuchi is living with her younger sister, the discourse may have arisen from something her sister did, not Higuchi. As to what this is, I’m not certain (evidently, Higuchi feels like her parents are in the wrong about this whole affair).

Probably struggled with finding a job for the first couple years before getting herself involved with the Port Mafia

Because of Higuchi’s pride, she’s determined to prove to her parents that she and her sister don’t need their money to be happy, and that they are perfectly capable of surviving on their own.

Her father was pretty big into game, as such there were always guns and ammunition around the house. He often liked to do it for sport, and he tried to get Higuchi into it a couple of times. She never really enjoyed hunting, but she liked to shoot at the range when they went to the hunting club together.

Despite all her experience in the Mafia, the sight of blood and gore still make her queasy--Higuchi doesn’t like to be around corpses much either. She won’t become sick or anything, but she will get very uncomfortable.

Totally the gullible and superstitious type; Higuchi can’t do scary movies, but she does have a fascination for the supernatural and surreal. Probably has books on witchcraft, tarot cards, palm-reading, and such things, thinking they have some semblance on her life. Definitely into astrology.

Higuchi would be really into thriller or adventure novels--something similar to The Hunger Games or Fallen trilogies. There’s typically some romance involved, so it’s probably fairer to say that she really likes YA-type stuff.

Really likes to go shopping and try on new clothes, doing girly stuff. She probably gets to do this very little, especially as a teenager, so she’s learned to appreciate the fun in it.

She was probably pressured into extensive studying and family obligations a lot, so Higuchi had a lot of acquaintances but had very little in the way of friends. She wasn’t ostracized or anything, but she was for the most part kinda awkward; a lot of them sorta found her a little strange, a little different. She wasn’t quite sure why, but she often felt alone a lot save for when she was with her sister.

Higuchi was no perfect student, but because of how average she was in terms of intellect, she only ended up studying more in the process (most of the time, she either fell asleep or ended up doodling on the margins of her notes)

When she first came into the Mafia, people found her to be a little strange, but her good work ethic and proficiency with firearms appeased most of them

They never specify on her rank, but I don’t imagine it’s super high or super low--somewhere in the middle. Higuchi has no interest in getting any further, for the most part; she just wants to help.

Is probably the type of person who plays way too hard on being tough and bad; Higuchi ends up doing things she doesn’t like in order to make herself feel of worth to be in the Mafia, going so far as to deny what most would call soft or weak (like her love for cute plushies or animal-shaped candies)

Definitely the shoot-first, ask-questions-later type of person when dealing with Port Mafia adversaries

Higuchi probably got into the Mafia because she had saved someone prominent in the organization by gunning down their foe; was probably offered and she accepted

I can definitely see her liking the colors of green or blue; her least favorite color is probably purple