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kingkat12 · 3 months ago

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the intimacy of shared silence (roman godfrey x reader)

WARNINGS: 18+, blood, pushy sexual behaviour, cuts, Roman's frontal lobe is not developed yet lol

summary: after Letha insisted you needed to know the truth about Roman, you decided you didn't want to hear it. will there be consequences, or will you be able to navigate the secrets on your own?

word count: 6,794

PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, PART 9, PART 10

The intimacy of shared silence.

The quiet wince as Roman's knife sliced a tear into my finger.

The hiss he let out as the other blade sunk into his own.

I wasn't sure why my hand was shaking, but there was no way to stop it-- I watched as the blood trailed down my hand and down into the vial I held close to my skin, careful not to waste a single drop. My gaze fell on Roman, whose eyes were already on me; his pupils were unusually large, but there was a softness about him which made me forget that he looked a little spaced out.

The intimacy of shared silence as we exchanged the vials.

The steady breath falling hot against my cheek as Roman clasped the necklace around my neck.

The realization that I was wearing his blood and that he was wearing mine.

So, as we sat beneath the willow tree by the river, listening to the rustling of the vines surrounding us, I tried to comprehend what it was that I had said yes to. When Roman proposed we do this, I never expected it to be a ceremony of sorts. That's the way it felt, after all-- and that was the feeling I was left with as he got up, going down to the dock right by, dipping the bloodied knives by the water.

My finger pulsated as I realized the stream of blood wasn't stopping. I hissed, feeling the sharp sting-- Had the cut maybe been too deep? Roman sat back down in front of me, now taking my bleeding hand into his. He gripped it a little too hard, with an unnatural look of transfixion in his eyes as I bled onto his fingers.

"Rome," I tried, my free hand anxiously rubbing my vial of his blood between my fingers. "It's getting everywhere, do you have anything to?--"

I didn't get to finish my sentence before Roman brought my bleeding finger to his mouth, pressing his tongue flat against the cut. I whimpered as he licked a stripe up along the tear, and I watched him close his eyes as he savoured the deep taste of iron.

How was I to comprehend what he was doing? I couldn't deny that I found this shocking imagery thrilling, sexy even, but I didn't know what to make of it. There was nothing I could do as my hand trembled against his lips, the sharp twinge of pain making me wince with every movement of his tongue. "Ouch, Roman--"

He seemed to snap out of it, and it didn't take long before he pulled away and dragged what looked like a handkerchief out of his pocket, gently wrapping it around my finger. Roman was suddenly handling me with such care, that I couldn't help but feel warm. Or was I possibly about to faint? He pressed his lips against the back of my hand before intertwining our fingers, his own blood barely having left a trace at all.

Something about the whole ordeal was almost too intense for me to handle-- I broke out into a soft, contained giggle, meeting his green eyes. "So?"

"So, what?" Roman asked, tilting his head to the side as he squeezed my fingers.

I shrugged; "Was that what you imagined it would be?" There was a genuine curiosity behind my query; when he had brought up his deepest, darkest wish (which I was glad didn't turn out to be murder), I hadn't expected it to be this. When Roman told me he had something he inherited from his grandfather that he wanted to put into use, I was innately intrigued.

It made my heart flutter to think he wanted to share what was practically a family heirloom with little old me, and that he had fantasized about wearing my blood around his neck. Underneath his shirts, he had said, his heart beating against the very component keeping me alive. However, when I tried to explain to Roman how devastatingly beautiful that was, he had shrugged it off-- "Nah, it would just be dope,"

Dope. I almost rolled my eyes at the memory.

Still, as Roman leaned forward to press a kiss to my lips, I could do nothing but sigh. "Yeah," he breathed, smiling against me. "It's so cool. And these things are, like, three hundred years old, too."

"What?" I felt my hands get clammy just from the thought. "Are you sure you want to give this to me, then? This is priceless!--"

"Stop it, it's yours," Roman squeezed my fingers once more, the bloodied handkerchief wrapping over his hands as well. It was at this moment that my eyes darted down, wondering whether the design was from the brand I thought it was--

I gasped; this was not a normal handkerchief. "Did I just wipe my blood on Gucci silk?!" Pulling my hands out of his, I studied the bloodied logo as Roman laughed. It dawned on me how much money the Godfrey family actually had-- if he was so careless about something so ridiculously pricey, the family fortune must've been much more than I had initially thought. Maybe I had known, but swept it under the rug for my own sanity? Because how many times had I not walked past the newspaper stands in the city and seen the face of his mother, Olivia Godfrey, on the front page followed by the words billion dollar company?

Roman huffed, shrugging; "Would you rather I let you bleed out? That would definitely taint the memory of my hideout spot,"

He was right-- I was reminded of where I was. Roman had told me he wanted to show me his favourite place after class today, the place he went to clear his head. I could argue this was the prettiest place in the whole of Hemlock Grove as we sat by a small, secluded lake beneath a willow tree. By the small dock leading out to the water, Roman and I had previously had a rock-skipping competition just before we sat down to fill the vials.

He had crushed me at that, of course.

Still, I hadn't expected him to find comfort in a place so ethereal. For some reason, I had expected something dark, like a little cave with little to no light surrounded by Satanist worship panels. That was certainly the image I had of him before we got together-- I used to imagine him bent before an altar dedicated to Satan, begging to be blessed with the opportunity for murder which he could get away with as involuntary manslaughter in the eyes of the law.

But not this. Certainly not this gorgeous scenery.

"Alright then," I breathed, watching as Roman rubbed his vial between his fingers. "Do you come here often?"

He shrugged, eyes transfixed on my blood. There was something eerie about the way he hadn't blinked in what seemed like a minute. "Nah," he mumbled, visibly absentminded. Still, he managed to slip out a crucial detail; "But I used to come here a lot when we weren't together yet and needed time to think."

"About...?"

Roman's green eyes darted at me with speed I didn't expect-- it almost made my breath hitch. There was a certain intensity about him; "You,"

"Well, duh,"

"Duh," he echoed, a smirk slipping past his cracks.

Roman's hair lay in soft waves over his forehead, and I kept thinking about how much I wanted to kiss his lips swollen. Feel his breath graze my cheek, the gentle push of his nose against mine as his tongue licked at mine-- "So you were just sitting here thinking about me? You're more of a loverboy than I thought,"

He snorted; "One more word from you about it and I'm throwing you into the water,"

"You wouldn't dare!--"

"I so would," Roman proceeded to laugh, reaching forward to take my hands into his. The touch sparked a fire in the tips of my fingers as I reveled in the feeling of his soft palms. I gave his hands a soft squeeze, and I could see him retreat a little from the present before he continued; "I don't know, I just... didn't want to let you down."

My brows drew together. "What?"

"Yeah, like-- fuck," Roman sighed, now chewing on the inside of his cheek as his smile faltered. "I sat here a lot trying to find the version of me that you might not run from. I spent most of my time hoping I had it in me to get myself together... for you."

It was a lot to take in, and some things were almost shocking to hear. Still, it was clear to me; "Rome, I think you've misunderstood..." Slowly pulling my hands out of his, I scooted forward on the grass. I watched the confusion in his eyes as I cupped his face, watching him keen against my touch. "I don't want a version of you, and I'm not planning on running any time soon. You can be yourself around me, do you know that?"

Roman put his hands on top of mine, sighing as his green eyes rounded out in a look of defeat. "Yeah, but I can get pretty... dark,"

"I know," I breathed, stroking my thumbs across his cheek. I was aware that the darker side of Roman had scared the crap out of me several times, but the stupid part of me was almost ready to let him kill me if he wanted to. "But if you get really dark, I have a built-in light in my phone that I can shine on you. Right in your face. You'll be hissing to get away, just you wait."

That seemed to do the trick-- I watched Roman crack up, laughing as he buried his face in the crook of my neck. My hands went up into his hair as I pressed a kiss to his temple, and I closed my eyes as I reveled in the moment. When our laughter died down, the only sounds left were the rustling of the leaves around us and the quiet ripples in the water brushing up against the shore nearby.

Roman's following words were muffled against my neck, but his teasing tone still shone through; "You're down bad for me, aren't ya?"

"... Shut up," I mumbled, rolling my eyes as I got ready to push him off.

Still, Roman only laughed, softly kissing my neck as he pulled me into his lap. "You're so crazy about me,"

"Stop it!--"

"Fucking carved our initials into a tree,"

"You said it was cute!-- Ah!" Suddenly, I felt a pain unlike anything I had ever felt before; it was sharp and mind-numbingly deep. It took a second or two before I realized Roman had sunk his teeth into my shoulder, and I could only whimper in pain as I instinctively grabbed a fistful of his hair. It lasted longer than I ever imagined something like this would, and I caught myself wondering when it would be over and when he'd be done, pleading with myself to keep it together. When Roman finally pulled away, I had to breathe deeply to collect myself-- I wasn't sure why tears were pressing up in my eyes, and I broke out into a nervous, quiet laugh as I rubbed my shoulder. "Ow..."

Roman flashed an apologetic smile; "Sorry," he breathed. "Got a little excited."

I kept glancing down at my shoulder, trying to catch a glimpse of the mark he certainly left. "What are you, a vampire or something?" I met his eyes, watching as my joke didn't land as well as I thought it would.

Roman inhaled sharply; "Not exactly,"

"... Right," My gaze fell on the vial of my blood hanging around his neck as a feeling of unease crept up my system. Was something about it setting him off?

I decided to force it out of my mind-- I was being ridiculous, right?

Still, Roman seemed genuinely sorry; "You can bite me back if you want to," he tried. "Really, really hard. Anywhere you want."

"... Anywhere?" As my evil plan formed in my mind, I knew exactly where he wouldn't want me to bite him. "Anywhere, Roman?"

His eyes widened as he realized what he had just said-- "No, I take that back! Not anywhere, no! Not there!"

It was impossible to hold back my fit of laughter. "Yes, there!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

As I laughed, Roman rolled his eyes and pressed a kiss to my cheek; "Okay, I'm not letting you near my dick ever again, that's noted,"

"Yeah, right,"

"No, I'm serious!"

I snorted; "That won't last you twenty-four hours,"

"Fucking try me," His eyes sparkled with mischief-- this was going to be fun. ｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ

I had somehow managed to get out of Roman's grip for long enough to study. It was hard to make time for it, let alone find the time for it, seeing as it was much more tempting to lay around doing nothing with my new boyfriend all day. Still, I had forced myself to go down to the public library, as school wasn't open on a Saturday.

After spending some time buying myself a coffee and finding a place to sit, I slumped down in one of the last free spots and got to work. It was tough to find a flow, and I hadn't studied properly in a while-- I had Roman to thank for that. He was a dangerously handsome walking distraction. It would probably be easier to get back to studying if he didn't give me such a hard time for running away from him, as he called it. Roman didn't realize it himself, but he was practically running around with a sign on his chest saying 'abandonment issues'.

My mind kept wandering back to Roman, wondering what he was doing, whether he was nuking my phone with messages or not, and it got so bad that I had to simply put my work away to take a breather. Why couldn't I focus? I rubbed my vial necklace between my fingers, closing my eyes; it was oddly comforting to know a piece of him would always be with me.

And just as I opened my eyes, ready to rip my mind out of the gutter, I spotted the one person I never thought I'd see at a public library-- or at any library, for that matter. "Peter!" I said, reaching out to grab his arm.

He had almost passed me without noticing me, and his wide, bewildered eyes softened when he saw who it was that had grabbed him. Peter was carrying an awful lot of books, but there was no struggle in the heavy load-- "Oh, it's you!" he said, smiling down at me. "You managed to get away from that boyfriend of yours for more than thirty minutes? Congratulations are in order!"

I snorted, motioning for him to sit down next to me. I was surprisingly happy to see Peter; "Yeah, I did! Can you believe it?"

He laughed-- "Nope. Actually, I can't. I haven't managed to hang out with him since you guys got together, so this is quite the shocker," Peter put all his books down on the table, and I must've counted about six or seven of them. He let out a loud sigh, spreading out; "What are you working on?"

"Some stupid English lit assignment," I turned my book to him, revealing my notes. "If I have to do one more essay about Charles Dickens, I'm going to explode. Seriously. Splatter everywhere with my flesh and blood staining the floor, and so forth."

"Gory," Peter prompted, nodding to himself.

Agreed-- "And you?"

Peter seemed reluctant to answer. His brown hair practically obscured his eyes, showing signs of needing a haircut soon, as he reached for the book closest to him. "The Ethical Dilemma of Feeling," he mumbled, scanning the title over and over.

He looked deep in thought as I reached for another one of his books; titles such as when you feel what you shouldn't, levels of treason and betrayal, and the art of forgiving struck me. "Dude, are you okay?" I asked, nudging him with a trying smile. I only knew Peter through Roman, but I wanted him to know he could confide in me nonetheless.

Still, he simply shrugged; "I might want to study philosophy in college... Just doing some light reading,"

Something told me he was lying his ass off in broad daylight. "Are you sure this is the stuff you should be reading then? Maybe try starting in, like, the ancient Greece section?--"

"Sure," Peter brushed it off, snapping out of his state of deep thinking. He placed his elbows on the table, turning back into the typical version of him as a broad smile formed across his lips. "Roman's jacket?"

Huh? "Roman's-- What?"

Peter's deep laugh echoed the hall, now pointing at my jacket. "It's Roman's, isn't it?"

Oh. I forgot I was wearing it today. "No, this is obviously my size," I joked, holding back an obnoxious smile. "What about it?"

"Nothing," Peter beamed right back at me, a knowing look in his eyes. "I just remember doing that with my girlfriend back in the day, before we broke up. I'm glad Roman's gotten his act together to experience that feeling as well."

"What feeling?"

"The warmth," Peter sat back in his chair, folding his arms over his chest as he nodded to himself. "It feels nice when your girl is wearing your clothes. And you can't deny he's a bit of an icicle. An arctic penguin, if you will."

It was impossible not to laugh-- "That's quite specific,"

"Sure, but it's true. An arctic penguin with a huge igloo he doesn't share with anyone,"

"Right," I hummed. "Then how come you're friends with a penguin?"

Peter lingered on the question, chewing the inside of his cheek as he thought long and hard. Finally, he answered; "Because he'd burn down the whole arctic for me if I ever needed him to. That's just who he is. He wouldn't even hesitate,"

It was impossible not to smile-- frankly, I was rather moved. "That's beautiful, actually,"

"Well... Before you make that conclusion, it might be smart to consider the possibility that he's simply be a repressed arsonist,"

I nearly choked on air, coughing through my outburst of laughter. Fucking hell-- men. "I wouldn't be so surprised," I said. "But he's sweet. The whole Letha ordeal feels worth it, and... I will have him returned to you soon, don't worry. You'll get your guy back."

Peter nodded; "I appreciate that, but... what Letha ordeal?"

Did he not know? My brows drew together as I grew uncomfortable with having to retell that story. It certainly didn't make me look like the hero. "Just... how Roman and I ended up together. You know this though, right?"

"Oh, that! Yeah, Letha told me about it,"

I let my confusion be visible on my face as I shifted in my seat, moving closer to the edge to straighten up. "You talk to Letha?"

Peter blinked twice, taking a second before he shrugged; "We... used to, before Roman declared war,"

"Oh," This was certainly news to me. "And what did she say?"

He let out a rather patronizing laugh, spreading out on his chair as he stared back at me with his brown eyes. His head tilted to the side, looking at me as though I was the dumbest little thing he had ever encountered. "Nothing crazy. She mostly just ranted at me, I didn't even get a word in,"

I wasn't sure why I was freezing up. "And what did she say about... me?"

Peter sighed, growing dismissive. "This was a long time ago. I don't remember,"

"Right, right..." I felt my heart drop as I sat back in my chair, defeated. I had an inkling that Peter was protecting my feelings. It didn't take long before he cleared his throat, getting up from his chair. "Don't think about it, okay?" he said, nudging my shoulder. "You've gotta let the bitches talk shit."

"Yeah..."

Peter sighed, sending me a soft smile as I finally looked up to meet his wonky smile. "I'm gonna go give all this crap back and look at the ancient greek philosophy instead. Thanks for the tip. And good luck with the Dickens shit."

I snorted, nodding as I realized I had to get back to work. "I'm gonna have the time of my life, thank you,"

Peter laughed, grunting slightly at the full weight of the books. "I see... And good luck with our favourite bloodsucker, tell him I said hi,"

I felt my heart drop, watching Peter walk away as I dwelled on his last words. Bloodsucker. I inhaled a sharp breath; putting my hand on my shoulder, it felt as though the bitemark Roman had given me was pulsating against my palm. Peter had used such a specific word, and I couldn't put my finger on why I was so shaken up about it. Then I remembered Roman sucking the blood off my finger--

No. This is nonsense.

I got about an hours load of work done before I decided I was done for the day, and I had developed a really bad headache. The clock had barely struck three, but it felt like the day was over already. I was so, so ready to go home and call Roman.

On my way out of the library, I had to pass a section called folklore-- and this was when I caught myself stopping in my tracks.

I stared at the book in front of me for a good minute. I couldn't look away.

The Avoidable Vampirism - The Upir.

... I had no idea what came over me as I reached for it, reading the back page;

The ficticious entity of the vampire has scared generations of human kind. However, there is a much more damning creature that walks our earth which should be the real concern; the upir, the slavic prototype of the vampire branch, is born a cocoon of an age-old curse which is ready to take over the human body through the tragedy of suicide. Upirism lives beneath their skin, scratches at their teeth, and corrupts their minds through dark urges in constant attempts to drive them to the edge of genesis. Do you suspect you are a upir, or do you recognize a darkness in your loved ones?

My heart beat hard in my chest as I stopped reading, not wanting to hear any more of it. I wasn't sure why this book was making me so nervous, why my mind was spinning with thoughts I knew were absolutely ridiculous-- I reached out for my necklace, rubbing the vial of Roman's blood between my fingers as my thoughts raced.

I certainly had no idea what came over me as I went over to the counter nearby and signed the book to my name. No idea whatsoever as I stuffed it down my bag and hurried out of the library.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ

Later that day, I had my usual reoccuring stream of thoughts; this was nice. I could live like this forever.

Roman's hair was incredibly soft. I wondered whether he used a specific shampoo to make it so silky to the touch, or whether it was the typical thirteen-in-one shampoo all men seemed to be using these days. Maybe it was just a Roman thing-- maybe his hair was magically perfect all the time, and his skin was always perfect and smooth. I had no way to be sure as I caressed his cheek, feeling the weight of him on top of me as we laid in my bed around midnight.

I placed a kiss to the top of his head, my free hand gently raking through his silky locks of golden-brown hair. Roman didn't allow me to hold him like this very often in the start, but now, it was hard to get him off of me for even one second; when I managed to discreetly flip him over on me when he fell asleep, he let out a long, light sigh as his head laid against my chest.

I could hold him like this forever. Feel his breath against my body, be in awe of his long lashes; now that he was asleep, I could finally stare without getting a weird look-- Roman was so beautiful. The annoying part was just how aware he was of this.

So I held him. Watched him sleep in my arms as I stroked over his back in gentle motions, feeling the soft fabric of his sweater against the tips of my fingers. It was all worth it in moments like these, when Roman wrapped his arms tighter around me in his slumber-- he shifted, making himself comfortable with a short, airy grunt.

Why was that so cute? I could be sure I was whipped now that I found his little noises to be endearing. Even in moments where he'd snore for a few minutes, I listened in pure awe.

I liked to imagine that Roman enjoyed this part of our relationship-- the normalcy. There was nothing in the world I wanted more than to bring some stability into his life, as I felt he didn't get much of it at home. I had yet to get more information about that out of him; he never talked about his family. Still, I was happy to lend him mine.

Roman shifted on top of me, a short groan escaping him as he stirred. He was awake-- "What time is it?" he breathed, voice groggy from his sleep.

I glanced at my phone on the nightstand; "Ten minutes past twelve,"

Roman groaned once more, burying his face in the crook of my neck. "Do you think I could stay over again?"

"Sure," I mumbled, twirling a strand of his hair around my finger. "My parents don't mind." They truly didn't-- I think they were a little relieved their daughter wasn't a complete social disaster with zero friends and no boyfriends in sight.

Roman hummed, pressing lazy kisses to my neck; "I was waiting all day for you to finish your English lit reading, and then I fall asleep when I finally get here," he mumbled, words muffled against my skin. "Definitely not what I had planned."

I could only laugh-- his kisses were almost ticklish. "And what was your plan, exactly? You seemed pretty dead when you came here,"

"Shut up," Roman propped himself up on his elbows with a soft grunt, getting a better look at me and my grin. His lashes were hanging heavy over his eyes, his face grazed by the remnants of a deep wish to sleep longer-- I wanted nothing more than for him to lay back down and sleep for as long as he wanted, so that I could hold him just a little more. Still, he blinked repeatedly in an attempt to wake up; "Want me to tell you my plan, though?"

I reached forward, stroking a strand of his hair away from his forehead. "Sure,"

"I thought..." Roman nudged my nose with his, making my smile widen. "We could ease into a little something."

"Ease into what?" Ironically, this was starting to make uneasy.

Roman rolled his eyes at my expression, pressing a tender kiss to my cheek. "Don't look so scared," he said, the raspiness of his sleepy voice sending a warm shiver down my spine. "I just want to be closer to you."

"Closer?" I mumbled, tugging softly at the tips of his hair as I felt his lips curve into a smile against my skin-- something told me my cluelessness was humouring him.

The soft push of Roman's lips left a trail of kisses up my jaw; "In every way possible," His voice lowered as he shifted, making more space for himself between my legs while he pressed himself further up against me. "I'm just a little in the dark about where to start with you."

I wasn't sure what that was supposed to mean. To keep my mind occupied from spinning, I closed my eyes and tried to focus on how nice it was to be kissed this way-- there was no doubt in my mind that Roman was crazy about me, with the way he was handling me with care. Right now, I only felt pampered, loved, and still slightly worried about what he had meant.

"Just don't want to scare you away," he continued, his hot breath ghosting over my skin. "Knowing you haven't done this before..."

"Done what?--"

Oh.

My lips formed an 'o' as it started to dawn on me. Roman's soft laugh brought me back to earth; "Catching up?"

"Sure am," I mumbled, letting my hands rest at his shoulders. I hoped they weren't too clammy as my heart quickened. "I don't know, Rome... Like, now? You want to do this now? Weren't you asleep just a second ago?"

With a short sigh, he shifted, his green eyes shimmering with amusement. Roman leaned in, angling his face so that our noses weren't bumping; "We keep putting it off," he whispered, brushing his mouth against mine, gently pulling my bottom lip with his own. "I don't see why we should wait. I want to be with you like that." He repeated his action, and I let my breath hitch as my mouth fell open-- the soft push of Roman's lips against mine made my heart thud in my chest, feeling the tips of my fingers burn as I pulled him closer, kissed him deeper.

It was as though there was an innate ache in my body for Roman which had been with me since the first time he had smiled at me in that one class. Since the first time I cried about him, since the first time I kissed him, and since the first time I ever properly laid eyes on him. It was impossible to fight, impossible to ignore-- I was almost clumsy with the way I held onto his hair, wanting him closer, closer, closer.

I was sure he felt it too; it felt as though he wanted to devour me whole. If he truly wanted to, I was convinced I'd let him. Still, as Roman's impatient kisses pressed against my lips, showing the hunger he had been suppressing, I couldn't help but feel the small droplets of uncertainty dripping down my forehead in a continuous torturous cycle.

Maybe I had been too forward, maybe I had somehow signalized that I wanted to do it right now, I wasn't sure-- but my anxiety was making me feel suffocated. "Wait-- Wait," I breathed, unsure why I was suddenly so dizzy.

Roman hummed, pulling away just slightly; I could feel the small string of saliva still connecting our lips as his hungry, green eyes found mine. "What?"

"We can't-- Not now," My attempt to steady my breathing failed, and I kept scouring his face for any traces of disappointment. "My parents are next door, I--"

"So?" I could feel Roman's heart beating against mine despite his calm composure. "It's fine. I've got you. Do you not trust me?"

Oh no. "That's not what I'm saying," I tried, reaching forward to touch his face as he propped himself up on his elbows once more, pulling away to get a proper look at me as he scanned me repeatedly for answers. "Roman, I'm trying to tell you that I'm nervous."

He remained still, but his brows drew together-- he looked cross with me, this way. "What for?" he said. "What is there to be nervous about? It's just me."

Sure, Roman had a point, but he was saying it in a way which was probably harsher than intended. "I know that," I traced my thumbs over his brows, hoping they'd soften. "I just don't want to jump into it too fast..."

"Too fast?" he echoed. "We've been dating for, like, a month and a half all together. How is that fast?"

I had to take a deep breath-- I hated the feeling this was giving me, the unease that settled in my chest. "Look, you were sound asleep five minutes ago, and now you're telling me you want to have sex. Can I breathe for a second?"

"Breathe away," Roman grumbled. "Need an oxygen tank? I'll get one for you. But if you have an inhaler laying around, that would be swell."

I could only roll my eyes, pressing myself as far back into my mattress as possible-- having him hovering above me right now wasn't the most pleasant thing, and I found myself wanting to crawl away. "I just feel that we should talk about it before we really get into it..."

Roman started to look fed up; "What is there to talk about?"

"I don't know! Like, uh..." I dug my finger into his shoulder, poking him. "Condoms!"

"Condoms?"

"Yes, condoms!"

"What about them?" he said, grimacing. "You scared of latex or something?"

"No!" This was getting frustrating-- "You'll wear one, right?"

Roman shrugged; "If you're not on birth control, sure,"

I was taken aback by his compliance. I had expected him to be one of those guys to refuse it. "Okay... That's a start," It took a few seconds before I felt myself relaxing, letting my fingers trail down his shoulders in a long, slow motion. "But I don't want to do it with my parents in the house... It feels weird."

Something about Roman softened, and he hummed as he pressed his lips gently against my cheek. "They wouldn't hear a thing," he purred, wrapping his arms around me as his kisses trailed down my jaw, his hot breath soon fanning over my neck. My jaw clenched as I closed my eyes, unsure whether to give into the temptation and the warmth creeping up my veins as Roman kissed and caressed me-- still, my hesitation made my body rigid and hard like a glass doll, on the verge of breaking into a million tiny pieces. Why wasn't he hearing me?

"I just want to feel you," Roman whispered, his wet lips grazing my collarbones as my breath hitched. "Wanna make you feel good, hear you moan beneath me... You have no idea how much I want you, hm?"

My cheeks burned by the time I felt his tongue against my skin, swiping along my collarbone, making me shiver-- it broke me to hear him say he wanted me. Broke me in the most simple way. I could feel the gears in my brain falling apart, feel my body resist my defensive reflexes. I had to fight against every screaming nerve in my system to place a trembling hand on Roman's shoulder; "Rome--"

It was almost as though he didn't care, drunk on being so close to the edge of my compliance. "It's just me," he whispered, placing a particularly wet kiss against my throat. "Nothing to be scared of. Don't you want me, baby? Don't you want to make me feel good?" I felt Roman's fingers peeking up the hem of my shirt, and my breath caught in my chest as he pushed the fabric further up my body, his greedy hands touching me in a more incessant way than ever before.

I do, I do, I do-- but on these terms? It was damn near impossible to think clearly, especially as Roman forced a knee between my thighs, pressing himself against my center. I was sure I whimpered, melted a little, possibly even bucked my hips up along the added pressure, and he didn't waste any time brushing his mouth against my parted lips.

And just as Roman was about to properly kiss me, his hands almost at the clasp of my bra, his thigh pressing further up against the apex of my own, I found the strength to squeak out a tiny stop.

Stop.

It echoed. Over and over.

It was as though Roman had stopped breathing-- I couldn't feel his warm breath against my cheek anymore. My eyes were pressed shut, my body shivering as I exhaled. It was only now that I heard my heart pounding through the silence. "I want to," I whispered. "Just not now. Not now, not-- not now."

It was only when the silence persued that I dared to slowly pry my eyes open. To my surprise, I hadn't heard or noticed Roman getting off of me. He had sat up, letting my legs crease at his thighs as a reserved and quiet demeanour fell upon him. It was rather unnerving to see him like this, not blinking, simply observing as he stayed mute. No snarky comment, nothing.

I took it as my queue to engage. I had to ask the question that had been bothering me. Still, I didn't expect my voice to be so frail; "Did you... come over today only for this?"

Roman didn't react, raising his hand to run his fingers through his hair. "I came over to see you," he mumbled. "Is that a crime?"

"You said you planned to ease me into this,"

"I say a lot of things,"

I sighed; "Can't you just be honest?" Propping myself up on my elbows, I hoped he'd see I was being sincere. "I'm simply trying to understand you."

Roman remained stoic, his green eyes dulling as his head tilted a little. It was starting to turn into a patronizing glare. "Okay, you want me to be frank? I'll give you honest," He leaned forward, his knuckles planted into my mattress. "I wanna fuck you. Rather nicely, by my standards. Over and over, until you get so cockdrunk you can't speak. But what I can't understand is that you don't want me that way. I literally wear your blood around my neck, but you don't even want to?--" He stopped. A second passed. "... Have I maybe misunderstood?"

Roman's gaze softened into one of confusion; "Do you not feel that pull? That feeling of... wanting me?"

"Of course I do!" I squeaked, sitting up. This was making me panic. "Of course-- Roman, of course!"

He scoffed, retreating in every sense of the word. "Sure,"

Roman's hair fell over his eyes as he lowered his head, and I could see the hints of a small smile peaking through. His next words came out with a low laugh; "I guess I won," he mumbled. "I lasted those twenty-four hours."

I was reminded of our little bet by the water, and I stared at Roman with a dumbfounded expression as he got off the bed. I couldn't believe that he was throwing a bit of a hissy fit because he didn't get laid. Still, I hated that he thought I didn't want him-- "Rome, come on!" I scooted to the edge of the bed. "Where are you going? Don't tell me you're leaving?"

I felt hopeless as Roman grabbed his phone, now glancing around my room to see whether he had forgotten something else. "I'm not sleepy anymore, I'm fit to drive," he mumbled, reaching for his jacket which I had worn earlier today to the library. "Don't stay up too late--"

"Roman!" I reached forward, clasping my fingers around his wrists. "Stop it! I don't want you to go!"

He finally turned to me with a cold look in his eyes, the moonlight dipping into the colour of his hair. "I'll call you,"

His words were chilling-- "Stop it," I pleaded, my grip around him tightening. "Stay. Please stay."

Roman raised his hand to kiss the back of mine before he pried me off him. He stepped towards my window, opening it. "Goodnight,"

I didn't make it to the window in time to stop him, and I watched him ascend my roof with a choking feeling in my chest. I groaned when he was out of sight, doing everything in my power not to kick the chair nearby. I wanted to sink into the ground as I buried my head in my hands, slumping down against the wall.

What on earth had just happened? Why did Roman shut down on me like that? I had been dead sure we were past this...

I wanted to sit like this all night, wallow in sadness and confusion. Maybe if I stayed by my window, Roman would come back up and tap against it, asking to be let back in? He'd apologize, sweep me up on my feet, and tuck me back into bed as he laid down next to me. He'd stroke my hair, kiss my cheek, let me cry into his shoulder as I slowly drifted off into sleep--

I couldn't understand anything. It was hard to process. Did I do something wrong?

So I stayed on the floor until my back hurt, until my eyelids threatened to close shut and carry me to slumber. Fuck it, I didn't have the energy to get back to bed. So as I laid down on the hard wood, I shoved away my library bag to make space for my body-- it was only when I heard the thud of one of the books falling out of it, that I was snapped out of my drowsiness.

The blood in my necklace felt boiling hot. My eyes focused on the title, adjusting to the dark;

The Avoidable Vampirism - The Upir.

... I was suddenly not tired at all.

(a/n: thank you so so much for reading if you've come this far, and thank you for all the love and engagement!!<333 check out PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 9 and PART 10 f you haven't yet, and AGHHH MWAH MANY THANKS AND MUCH LOVE!!<3)

tagging those that seemed interested!!<333:

@mentallyscreamingsincebirth @putherup @corawithfanfiction @vladsgirlxx

@iamaslytherin0 @sexualparkour @the-universe-is-complicated @heavenly-bratt

@lafemme-nk @namiusedbubble @useyourwandbro @strmborns @literally-lani

@virgosapphire79 @star-girl-04 @veyzus @ddipotassium @pecxiebu

@mil88691 @iloveyoutodeathbutimdrowning @katifefe @sn0wybowie-blog

#roman godfrey #hemlock grove #roman godfrey x reader #x reader #bill skarsgård #fanfiction #oneshot #bill skarsgard #angst #fanfic #highschool!au #hemlock grove fanfiction #peter is wilding a little isn't he #and wtf is roman on omg what am i doing to these characters #ANYWAYYYYYY

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kingkat12 · 4 months ago

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roman's girl (roman godfrey x reader)

WARNINGS: 18+, oral sex, major fluff, public sexual activites, Roman is a tit guy what can i say

summary: after Roman finally confesses his feelings, will it be enough to subside your longing for the past? coming face to face with Letha might uncover the truth...

word count: 10,586 (my oh my)

PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, PART 9, PART 10

a/n: i want to thank you all once again for the love y'all have given this series, it's absolutely mind-blowing😭 sorry for the wait, I LOVE YOU, and i hope you'll enjoy this chapter!!<33

This was certainly not how I had expected this night to go-- the turn of events truly hit me as Roman sat on the edge of my bed, hair still wet from the shower.

I couldn't believe he was my boyfriend. I couldn't believe it at all.

On top of everything, he looked gorgeous as always, especially in the moonlight. After he had gotten drenched from the rain, I had given him his sweater back and lent him the only pair of sweatpants I knew would fit him-- I had finally found a use for the pair I had bought the wrong size of at a sale.

Roman's green eyes followed me as I moved a few things around my desk. "You seem nervous," he said, a teasing tone about him. "Or are you just upset you couldn't hop into the shower with me?"

Huffing, I did my best not to laugh; I couldn't let him have this one. "My parents are still trying to wrap their heads around me having a boy over, so I think I'd give them a heart attack if they caught us showering together,"

Roman bit his lip, visibly amused. "I still can't believe I'm the first one," he said, tapping his fingers against my duvet. "You sure you haven't had any other guys in here? You can be honest."

"I am being honest," I leaned my back against the wall, watching him from afar. I was afraid that I'd jump him if I got any closer-- he was ridiculously hot with his fresh-out-of-the-shower look. "I haven't had anyone else up here. Ever. Why is that so hard to believe?"

Roman shrugged; "Cause you're cute?"

I didn't blink, staring back at him with a dumbfounded expression. He said it so nonchalantly, as though I hadn't been fighting for him to tell me his feelings for weeks. Now, it was easy. Easy. With a shy smile, I stepped away from the wall. "Really, now?"

Roman's signature smirk returned as he guided me between his legs, his hands kneading my waist as he looked up at me with his big, wanting eyes. "I'm just glad we're talking again," he murmured, his fingers slowly dipping beneath the edge of my t-shirt. "I've missed your snark."

It was impossible not to smile-- I brought my hands to his face, letting my thumbs brush over his eyebrows; "And I've missed you,"

Roman hummed, his eyes practically sparkling as his fingers continued to ghost over my skin in trying motions. "How badly?"

"Badly," My hands went up into his hair, watching as he keened against my touch. "You and your green eyes."

"My eyes?" It was clear that Roman struggled not to be visibly flustered-- instead, he opted to lift my t-shirt, leaning forward to press an endearing kiss against my tummy. Every touch, every kiss made me feel beyond adored. "What about them?" He pulled away, smirk still apparent. "You think they're pretty or something?"

"You know very well,"

"What? I know nothing,"

"Roman," Laughing, I leaned down to press my lips against his damp hair. "I don't need to spell it out for you."

He shrugged, his fingers rubbing circles into my sides. "Actually, I think you do. Especially after how you tortured me with spelling shit out for you this week,"

Truly, he had a point. I just hated that he was right. "That's different, Rome, that was a completely separate thing!--"

"Oh, just tell me my eyes are pretty, get on with it!"

Taken aback, I watched as Roman did his best to suppress a knowing grin, biting down on his lip as he stared up at me through his brows. Even now, he was painfully handsome-- I nearly melted into my hardwood floors. "Well, now I definitely won't,"

Groaning, Roman seemed to take that as a challenge; in a swift motion, he wrapped his arms around me and tackled me onto the bed. I let out a high-pitched squeak, completely caught off-guard; "You can't just!--"

"Tell me," Roman hooked his arms around my legs after getting in between them, yanking me towards him as he now hovered above me. I could only giggle at the sight of his plotting eyes, realizing my new boyfriend reminded me of the puppy I used to babysit in middle school-- eager to play.

I had to catch my breath after being manhandled like that; "What happened to your manners?"

"Manners?" he echoed, clearly holding back a fit of laughter. "What manners? I was raised in the forest with the wolves, don't you know?"

For fuck's sake-- I nearly lost face. "You can't just toss me around and demand to be praised!"

Roman hummed, the mischievous shimmer in his eyes only growing more bright. "Actually, I think I can toss you around as I please," He leaned down, pressing a wet kiss to my neck. "Or are you planning on fighting me, baby?"

I knew I was done for now. With the nickname, and all. "I could if I wanted to," I was aware that the shake in my voice didn't sound very convincing, and it eventually became glaringly obvious that I shouldn't have said that. I could tell with how Roman smiled against my neck, and the way his arms snaked around me in a tight hold; "I'd like to see you try."

No, no, no-- I wasn't about to have a playfight with a man standing tall at 6'4. There was no way in hell. "Well, I wouldn't want to hurt your ego when you ultimately lose," I mumbled, wrapping my arms around him. "Let's take it when you've had time to prepare."

That was the last straw for Roman, who finally burst out laughing; I followed shortly after. He propped himself up on his elbows, staring down at me with amusement sparkling in his green eyes; "That's very considerate of you," he said, gently nudging my nose with his. "But this means I can toss you around for tonight, then."

I was about to protest, but I suddenly felt tongue-tied-- something about the idea of being moved around like I weighed nothing, like I was his to boss around, did something to me. Something I couldn't put my finger on. "I, uh... Well-- My parents are next door,"

It dawned on Roman that I was right, and he clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth with the realization. "Damn it," he mumbled, humming as he leaned down to kiss me.

I sighed against his lips, the usual satisfaction coursing through my veins-- nothing could ever top this. Subconsciously, I wrapped my legs around him, wanting to pull him as close to me as possible. However, it seemed Roman had other plans; he disconnected our sweet kiss, shortly pressing one more against the corner of my mouth before propping himself up again. "But... you can stay quiet, right?"

My eyes widened just slightly-- I wasn't too keen on showing how nervous I was to hear that. "Depends," I breathed, reaching forward to tuck a few strands of his brown hair away from his forehead. "If you're talking about going all the way, I don't think that's the best idea with my parents on the other side of the wall--"

"No, no," Roman quickly interrupted my ramble, shaking his head. "Just a little... something. To celebrate."

My heart rate quickened as I felt my pulse rise; that could mean literally anything.

"Don't look so scared," Roman purred, pressing a short kiss to my lips-- it was embarrassing how little it took for me to unravel. "I'm not going to bite. I'm almost certain."

"What?" Almost?

Roman only chuckled, his hands now trailing up beneath my shirt again, ghosting over my skin with the touch of a feather. The softness of his fingers nearly left me shuddering, my lips parting at the sensation as I writhed just slightly-- I had to look away from his proud look, realizing my shirt was now bunched up right under my bra, leaving me exposed.

"I hope that being your boyfriend comes with some perks," Roman said, placing his palms against my waist to see how small I was compared to his hands. "Maybe you won't be so shy to let me touch you."

I could only blush-- he wasn't wrong. I still wasn't used to it. I wasn't sure how many times I had swatted his hands away, not yet allowing him to take all the liberties he wanted seeing as we weren't official. But now... everything had changed. Now that I knew where I had him, it felt easier to allow myself the pleasure.

Roman leaned down to kiss up my abdomen, leaving a wet mark behind every touch of his lips against my skin. I held my breath, reaching forward to bury my hands in his hair, feeling my heartbeat pulsing all the way through the tips of my fingers as I grew nervous. I had no idea what plans he had in mind, and whether I wanted him to stop or not.

"I'm surprised you haven't been more aggressive about it," I breathed, finally looking down to meet his wanting, green eyes. "I always expected you to be. You always seemed like the type."

Roman hummed, his fingers tracing the edge of my bra. "I have been, with others," he said, matter-of-factly. "Mostly because I knew they'd let me. Some girls are easy, in that sense."

I couldn't even hold my grimace-- I reached for his hands, holding him back from going any further. "You don't hear yourself, do you?" Propping myself up on my elbows, I tried to scour the thoughts behind his deep eyes, but to no avail. I didn't even care to adjust my t-shirt before I answered him; "It speaks volumes about your view of women."

"My view?" Roman bit his lip, holding back his amusement. "I love women. Where on earth would I be without women?"

I had to hold myself back from kicking him. "I don't think I want to hear this--"

"But most of all, I love girls like you," Leaning down to kiss my shoulder, Roman slid his hands down my thighs and to my knees that were creased over his legs. "But funnily enough, there aren't any girls like you. You're like a singular, vexing entity... and you've got me. You've really got me." His kisses trailed up to my collarbones, and I tilted my head to give him easier access-- I hated how little restraint I had around him, even when he said the most asshole-y things possible.

"You've got me. All of me," Roman murmured, managing to lay me back down on the bed, disarming me in an instant. It was impossible not to let my heart swell at his words, and it only got worse as he continued; "I've never had anyone fight for me like you do. Never met someone worth the challenge. So excuse me for not being aggressively inappropriate with you."

I was so stunned, that I simply stared up at him like a dazzled fool as he slowly pried off my shirt. "Well, you-- you have been inappropriate,"

"Oh, I'm not denying that," Roman's knowing smirk was on display as he wried his shirt off, now crawling back on top of me. I hummed, unable to hold back the sigh that escaped me as I felt his weight back on me, skin to skin. My hands went back up in his hair, making sure it wouldn't hide his beautiful eyes before pulling him in for an open, loving kiss.

There was a certain heat to it that I wasn't used to-- it was perhaps the finality of our union that allowed us to get lost in it. Either that, or Roman didn't care to hold back anymore. I hadn't noticed he was hard until he pressed further up against the apex of my thighs; my breath hitched against our kiss, my grip in his soon-to-be dry hair tightening as the friction between my legs gave me the relief I didn't know I needed.

Roman's lips were always breathtakingly plush against mine, his tongue gently moving in motions that kept me on the brink of clenching my legs around him-- I always felt out of breath after every kiss, especially when we were tangled up like this for longer than what we could be in public. My heart swelled as it beat at his, and I was unable to hold back the hitch of my breath which escaped me as he sunk his teeth into my bottom lip.

Roman pulled away long enough to speak; "So can you?"

I would've answered him quicker, had it not been for the fact that he wouldn't let me detach from the kiss that ensued. Humming, I had to give his hair a harder tug, feeling him sigh in a wave of satisfaction before finally allowing me to disconnect our kiss. "Can I what?" I tried, hoping to catch my breath.

"Keep quiet," Roman nudged my nose with his as his big, green eyes found mine.

"I don't even know what it is that you're planning to do!--"

"You've gotta promise," he said, placing a short kiss against my rambling lips. "I don't want any problems with your parents. It's sort of nice to meet the only people in this town who don't think I'm a scoundrel."

I had to laugh-- it was true. They certainly had no idea about the reputation my new boyfriend had. "Okay, I promise! But what are you--"

I was yanked forward on the bed for the second time tonight; Roman heard a green light, and that was enough for him. I yelped, immediately clasping my hand over my mouth as his eager kisses trailed down my body, his hands now slowly inching toward my zipper.

It all happened so fast-- I nearly bit down on my hand to suppress my nervous trail of noises as Roman discarded my pants with ease. He was almost methodical, planting soft, warm kisses along the inside of my thigh as his fingers trailed up to grab at my waist. He kissed his way up to my center before passing over it, leaving me heaving for air out of sheer excitement-- he now descended over to my other thigh, his green eyes darkening as he looked up to catch my reaction to his teases.

The breath in my chest was a rapid circle, but it caught in my throat as I watched Roman smirk against my skin, taking in the sight of me coming apart as he spoke; "Hold on... Is this turning you on or something?"

I was two seconds away from kicking him. Genuinely. "You're awful," I breathed, burying my face in my hands.

"Really? I usually get quite raving reviews," Roman laughed against my thigh, sinking his teeth into my skin to evoke a noise. That seemed to work-- I let out a squeak before propping myself up on my elbows again, staring down at him with narrowed eyes; "You're already making a mess out of me, do you need to make fun of me too?"

Roman chuckled, pressing an apologetic kiss where he had previously bit me. "Not making fun of you," he murmured, his hold around my waist allowing him to move me even closer to him with a swift motion. Now, his breath was falling hot and heavy right above my clothed sex. "Just trying to get you to talk."

"Talk?" I echoed, watching Roman hook his fingers around my underwear-- I couldn't watch this. I laid back down on the bed with a shaky breath, squirming beneath his grip.

Roman hummed; "Yeah," He licked a wet stripe up the crease of my thigh, slowly, along the hem of my panties, which left me shivering. "We both know how much you're going to enjoy this, anyway. You might as well come out and say it."

He certainly knew how to build anticipation-- his words had nearly distracted me from the moment he dragged my underwear to the side, now leaning forward to press a kiss against my clit. I gasped, once again clasping a hand over my mouth; this was a sensation I could get used to. "Roman--"

As much as he wanted me to talk, I couldn't. Not when he swept his tongue through the wetness of my slit, not when that action had me bucking my hips up against him, not when it all left me breathless. Roman's big, strong hands grabbed me, pinning me down as he laved his tongue up along my cunt with slow, meticulous motions.

This feeling was so foreign-- I really had no idea how to deal with it. I felt my breath catch in my chest, my back arching slightly off the bed as I fought the urge to tremble against him. Even worse, was the fight against making any noise that could give away what we were doing in here. I let out a broken, quiet moan as I reached for Roman's hair, running my fingers through it in a desperate attempt to seek some comfort from the storm of feelings raving through me.

Roman sighed against me, his grip on my hips tightening as he pressed a few gentle, almost sweet, kisses against my clit, which immediately had my breath hitching rather loudly. His eyes returned to watch me, narrowing as a signal; keep it down.

Everything about it made me blush-- I buried my face in my hands, feeling them tremble against my skin. It felt as though my veins were on fire as I fought to keep my breath steady, and I was about to grab a pillow and stuff my face in it before I heard a knock at the door.

My eyes sprung open, immediately reaching down to pull Roman away from me as I panicked. However, my new boyfriend had other plans-- his fingers dug into my flesh, eyes boring into mine with burning embers of challenge as he laved his tongue against my clit with repeating firm licks. Something told me this was beyond exciting to him, and it only made my hips buck up against his mouth. No, no--

Another knock; "Sweetie, we're going to bed! Don't stay up too late, alright?"

"I-- Okay!" I hoped they couldn't hear that I was panting, back arched off the bed as Roman nearly made me see stars.

"Do you need anything in there?"

No, no, no-- what was that even supposed to mean? Something told me my parents were nervous about me having a boy over. I could feel Roman smile against me, clearly amused, as I fought the urge to moan; "N-No, we're good!"

A huge part of me wanted to kill him for putting me through this, but the other part of me was too occupied with the familiar building feeling in my body. When I was sure my parents had stepped away, I reached down to give his hair a proper tug to get his attention; "Rome, you can't just-- you can't do that, are you insane?"

I would later regret saying that-- immediately, actually. With a rather evil look about him, Roman propped himself up on his elbows, staring back at me with a look of dark victory. I whimpered at the loss of contact, squirming in his hold. "You should've seen your face," he purred, suppressing a laugh. "You looked like you were going to cum out of fear."

Honestly, I had no idea what that even meant. Not the faintest, whatsoever. But all my plans of asking him or telling him off were thrown out the window the second I realized his mouth was covered in what I could only guess was me. I watched my slick around his lips glisten as the moonlight shone across his face-- that was certainly a sight I never imagined I'd ever see, and one I wish I could frame and pull up for special occasions.

Roman's eyes lit up, quickly catching onto what had gotten me so dumbstruck. In a show of power, he slowly slid his tongue along his plush lips with a low hum, which in turn nearly made me gasp. A dark laugh followed, a dangerous smirk on display as he spoke the words that would later haunt my dreams; "You taste divine,"

My grip around his hair loosened, feeling as though my breath was slowly seeping out of my lungs with no control whatsoever. It hit me how badly I wanted his mouth back on me again, how much I wanted him to drive me over the edge to get that sense of relief I craved so, so-- "Well... There's more where that came from,"

Roman's lips quirked into a surprised smile, tilting his head to the side as he watched me with a look I could only describe as pride. "Shit, you're learning," he said, a hint of a laugh apparent in his voice.

"That's my girl."

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ

Being Roman's girl was certainly not something I ever thought I'd be. I had imagined it, sure, played with the idea in my head, but with the premonition that I would never truly know what that entailed-- I certainly didn't think this would be it.

I should've known Roman wouldn't let this night end.

"Was it truly torture?" I asked, my legs dangling off my roof about an hour later. "The whole ordeal where I wanted you to tell me you liked me."

Roman sat beside me, having insisted that he couldn't sleep without getting a proper hit of nicotine after his stressful day. He exhaled a particularly large ring of smoke, shrugging as though that would lift the weight off his next words; "Felt like it,"

"Why?"

"Dumb question,"

"Just answer it!"

Roman sighed, eyes fixating on the way I dangled my legs. He reached forward with his free hand, grabbing my hips and adjusting me further back on the roof. "You're going to fall off the roof like that," he mumbled, taking another drag. "Try not to die on me, hm?"

I was getting fed up with the way he was evading my question-- I sent him a look, shoulders slumping. "Rome,"

"What? I need you alive," He held out his cigarette in front of me when he was done, and I grimaced as I took it into my hand. He continued with a knowing smirk; "If you fall off the roof, people are going to think I pushed you. Think how my reputation would suffer."

I rolled my eyes; I was definitely not getting anywhere with this question tonight. "Perhaps," I watched the cigarette rest between my fingers as I held it out in front of me-- I still hadn't learned how to smoke, let alone found the will to. "But I bet you could buy your way out of prison, so I don't think you'd suffer much."

"Don't be ridiculous. If you were gone, I'd be suffering all the time," Once more, it was clear that he hadn't yet registered the weight of his words as he longingly stared at his cigarette. "Are you going to have a drag or not?"

I slowly turned to him, blinking twice. "You did not just say that,"

"What? I've waited for a cigarette break all day!--"

"Not that!" This was getting rather frustrating. I huffed, going back to dangling my legs over the edge of the roof. "That you would suffer all the time if I was gone?"

Roman shrugged, gaze now shifting to stare out on the lawn in front of us; "Of course I would. It would be this week, just all over again for eternity,"

"So, just to hear you say it again, it was torture?"

A groan-- "Yeah... It was," His big, green eyes trailed back to me once more, something unfamiliar swimming in them. "I guess you're the first girl I've ever cared for, so imagine my horror when you made it seem like you didn't care about me back."

I was sure this would break my heart all over again. My lips parted in shock, still not used to the fact that Roman was being open with me after all this time. "I never... I never thought you'd doubt that," I had to clear my throat, no longer meeting his eyes. "After how I've been acting around you."

"Acting like what?"

"Like a fool,"

Amused, Roman reached forward and brought the cigarette back between his fingers before he shifted closer to me. "Honestly? I thought it was cute," He noticed my aversion, nudging me gently before taking a drag. "I think it was the fact that you had no idea what you were doing that drew me in. And your scared little face."

I rolled my eyes, nudging him back. "Now that was torture too! The whole part where you were threatening to tell Letha we fucked in that closet during seven minutes of heaven! You should be glad I didn't succumb to a heart attack,"

"Oh, yeah... that," Roman finished his cigarette, stumping it on the hard materials of the roof. "To put it briefly, I didn't know how else to approach you. You both hated my guts and wanted to inhale me."

"Inhale you?!"

With a hearty laugh, Roman wrapped a protective arm around me, leaning down to press a playful kiss against my ear before whispering; "I might just let you if you stay nice,"

I didn't expect my cheeks to burn the way they did-- I was dead sure I was bright red, and I buried my face in his chest to hide it. Roman, still laughing at my embarrassment, kissed the top of my head as he pulled me even closer. "Oh, poor you, am I being mean?"

Huffing, I pouted against his chest; "Yes,"

"Too much for you for one night?"

"... No,"

I didn't need to see him to know Roman was smirking, that mischievous shimmer probably apparent in his eyes. "Good," he murmured. "Because I want to mention one more thing before we go back inside and try not to wake your parents again."

Oh God-- I gathered the courage to look up at him, watching the way his hair lay in soft waves over his forehead. Something told me I should savour the moment before he opened his mouth once more, and I straightened up, watching him follow my every move with intrigue.

I placed a hesitant, delicate kiss against Roman's plush lips, feeling him sigh. I couldn't quite pinpoint why I was still nervous to initiate, why I still wondered if I was doing it all wrong, but I had a feeling I would always be. Especially when it came to Roman. The guy I had wanted for ages, who was currently sitting on my roof, kissing me back.

It hit me that it would probably never dawn on me fully-- how could it?

Roman smiled against my lips, our breaths practically becoming one as we pulled away. I kissed him once more, shortly, before reaching forward to bring his hands into mine. "You were saying?"

His eyes, full of affection, watched as I flipped his hands and traced circles around his palms. "Just... the whole ordeal felt like shit, but that the most painful thing was to see you trying to flirt with that Daniel guy,"

"What?" My brows drew together, puzzled. "What is that supposed to mean?"

Roman chuckled, sighing at the feeling of my soft touch. "It's just obvious that you don't know what you're doing,"

"That's nonsense, I do!"

"Nope,"

"I know how to flirt!"

He shook his head rather matter-of-factly; "Nope,"

This was outrageous-- My movements came to a halt, my eyes narrowing as they met his. "Well, I got you somehow, didn't I?"

"Because I let you," Roman intertwined out fingers, the sight of his smirk nearly becoming unbearable. Why did he have to be so handsome, even whilst making fun of me? "Because I wanted to kiss you so bad, it became my every waking thought. But had it not been for that, I'm not so sure."

I gasped, fighting his grip around my hands; I had never wanted to hit him more than now, despite his confession. "Stop it, I can flirt!"

Roman hummed, sending me a look that told me he wasn't sold. "If I remember correctly, your exact words that first time were could you kiss me, then? I've had a really shitty night," He laughed at the memory, squeezing my hands. "Now, what do you say you try again?"

I was sure I was going to melt into the roof and end up as a blob of goo on my lawn. This was horrifying. My cheeks flushed again, feeling myself get more and more flustered. "Set the scene, then,"

Roman leaned forward, pressing a kiss against my forehead-- it almost felt like a push of encouragement. He pulled away, his thumbs stroking over the healing cuts on the back of my hands. "Okay... Imagine we're back in that closet, and you so desperately want to kiss me again--"

"Rome!--"

"Desperately," he whispered, eyes burning with intrigue and challenge as they bore into mine. "So what do you do?"

I held my breath, watching the amused smirk on display across his plush, pink lips. "What do you mean?"

Roman bit down on his bottom lip, trying not to laugh in my face. "Fine, let's do a different approach. I'll teach you how, instead," His gaze locked onto mine, intense and unwavering. "The key to flirting is to say exactly what's on your mind, along with having a decent enough buildup. Do you catch my drift?"

"... Sure?"

"I'll give you an example," Roman let go of my hands, almost as though to reset the scene. He ran his fingers through his hair, the corners of his mouth curving up into his classic charming smile as his eyes remained sincere. "The first part is simple. Just keep your eyes on me."

Simple was an understatement-- my heart beat harder with every breath, unable to let my mind rest while looking at the show of beauty before me, carved by the Gods. Everything about Roman was simply perfect, and I was afraid I'd turn into stone if I stared at him too long. Despite that, I adhered; I gave in to a nod, unable to dim my growing smile.

"Then..." Roman's fingers ghosted up along the side of my arm, so light it almost tickled. I shivered, my skin reacting to the subtle contact. His fingers trailed down to my hand, and he gently intertwined them with mine, touching me as though I was made of glass-- everything about it made me feel like I was on fire. "Touch. Very, very simple, but very effective. As you see, your breath is already unsteady."

Fuck. I gulped, giving in to a nervous, soft giggle as my gaze started flickering. "Well, you certainly know what you're doing--"

"Eyes on me,"

A very simple oh escaped me, immediately focusing back on Roman despite how ridiculously nervous I was.

He, on the other hand, seemed beyond amused at this point; "And then you say what you want. It's all very simple," Roman toyed with my fingers, running his up along the short length of mine, and the intimacy of it nearly had my breath hitching. After going from not talking at all to this, my brain wasn't as used to his antics anymore-- I so desperately hoped I wouldn't swoon and roll off the roof.

"And that is...?"

Roman shifted, his lips now hovering inches above mine; the tension was thicker than ever, swallowing me whole. The playfulness of his smirk faded, his eyes rounding out as he realized the weight of his words before finally saying them; "I want you to kiss me just like you did a few minutes ago... Kiss me like you could possibly love me,"

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ

I never thought that being Roman's girl would bring me such peace. We had been together for a week now, and it felt like the best week of my life; a big part of me was sure it actually was.

My fall-out with Letha started to feel worth it-- if she couldn't accept that I was happy with Roman despite him being her cousin, then that was her loss. Why shouldn't friends be happy for each other?

Because honestly, I couldn't remember the last time I had been this happy. Especially now that I was sitting in the passenger seat of Roman's car on a lazy Sunday, the wind blowing through my hair as he bickered with Peter about the songs playing on the stereo. I could only laugh, a bright smile on my face as I kicked back, adjusting my sunglasses as the bright rays of the day shone down on us.

"This song sucks," Roman grumbled, clearly regretting giving his best friend Bluetooth access to the stereo. "Since when were you so into Britney Spears? Do you have nothing else you can play?"

Splaying out in the backseat, practically lying down, Peter crossed his arms behind his head as he chuckled; "Maybe I like that you don't like it? And you're a psycho if you don't enjoy this one, it's hit me baby one more time! Put some respect on the name,"

"Dude, you sound like a thirteen-year-old girl,"

"A thirteen-year-old with taste, at least!"

I couldn't help but laugh-- the one thing I had learned about Roman, was that the gang of boys he usually hung out with had nothing on his friendship with Peter. Something about the way they were annoying each other showed me all I needed to know. My gaze went back and forth between them, grinning from ear to ear. I could get used to this.

Roman rolled his eyes, switching lanes with ease. He was damn handsome behind the steering wheel, tapping his fingers along with the rhythm of the tune despite being vocal about his disdain-- the upturn of his nose, the way he quietly chewed his gum with no care in the world, everything about the sight of him and his styled brown hair made me feel beyond lucky to have his attention, even for a moment. So, when he placed his hand on my thigh, I had to bite down on my lip and look away; it was all too exhilarating.

"Could I pick the next song?" I asked, turning to Peter. I noticed he had already closed his eyes, basking in the sun as he nodded and handed me his phone.

Something told me Roman was relieved to be saved from Britney Spears-- he squeezed my thigh twice, making me giggle as I scrolled through Peter's playlist. When I finally found the perfect song, I tried to hide my smile in the palm of my hand as I held back any signs of my brewing laughter.

The second the new song sounded through the stereo, it became impossible to hold back my evil joy as Roman let out the loudest groan I'd ever heard from him; "For fuck's sake!"

I succumbed to my laugh, hearing Peter roaring from the backseat at my song of choice. I turned to him, accepting his high-five. There was no way in hell I'd give anything up for the look on Roman's face right now— the way he rolled his eyes, sending me a quick, sharp glare; "Traitor,"

"I like Britney!" I tapped my fingers against the hand he had on my thigh, humming along to the music. "And oops, I did it again is a classic!"

Roman shook his head; "The both of you are awful,"

"We're not!" Peter protested, sitting up in his seat. "We just have superior music taste. And also, when are you going to pull over?"

"Never. Pee your pants, dipshit,"

"Yeah? I will hold your girlfriend hostage and key your car if you don't find a gas station in five minutes,"

Groaning once more, Roman rolled his eyes and switched lanes, ready to get off the highway. "You keep her out of this," He glanced at me, the spark in his green eyes unmistakable, before meeting Peter's gaze in the rearview mirror. "And you better stay away from my fucking car, I just got it repainted!"

Oh, it was impossible not to smile. Impossible. Even despite the two of them getting on my nerves, I couldn't deny that Roman was making up for my lack of friends by surrounding me with people. I wasn't sure whether he meant to or not, if it was subconscious, but I felt taken care of, even in odd company.

Roman cared for me. He was taking care of me.

... In his own weird way, of course.

When we finally arrived at the nearest gas station, Roman's car still intact and I not held hostage, it didn't take long before Peter jumped out of the back and headed inside, giving us a moment alone.

I watched Roman fix his hair in the car mirror, and I wasn't sure whether he realized he was still humming hit me baby one more time. With a bright smile on my face, I reached out for his hand, giving it a short squeeze to get his attention. "I'm gonna run inside and get some water, do you want anything? Juice, a soda?"

My breath nearly got knocked out of me as Roman's eyes met mine, the green in his eyes more intense now than ever as the sun laid itself in soft strokes over his face. "Maybe a beer?"

"Rome, you're driving!"

"Oh, cry me a river," Roman leaned over to press a short, soft kiss against my lips. "Get me a cola or something, then."

I hummed, a faint blush apparent on my cheeks. Why did every kiss, every touch, get me so giddy? Still, I tried to keep my composure-- "Could you at least say please?"

Shaking his head, Roman reached for his wallet; "Nope. But I'll pay,"

"Just say it nicely, that's all I ask of you!"

He handed me his card, sending me a look which said don't argue. "You know the code,"

"I-- Ugh, just say it!"

"What do I get for it?"

Calculated fucker. "Fine, I'll blow you later!"

He grinned-- "There you go," Roman took my hand into his, pressing a kiss against my knuckles. Something told me he was simply hiding his look of victory. "Please get me a coke, and get yourself anything you'd like. Alright?"

"Alright," Despite my mind racing from the fact that I didn't know how to do what I had just promised him, I leaned over and gave Roman a sweet kiss on his cheek before I got out of the car. As I made my way to the gas station, I turned around just at the right time-- I caught the moment he tried to wipe the smile off his face with no success, clearly flustered as he failed to keep his composure.

It felt as though my hair was burning after being in the heat for this long, and I was happy to escape the sun when I entered the building. The cold breeze of the air-conditioner hit me, making me sigh in relief as I strolled along the endless aisles, looking for the perfect treat for the rest of my drive.

My head was still buzzing from the rush of being with Roman like this. The way he smiled at me, the way he leaned one arm out the window as he drove his red Jaguar down the highway-- it was perfectly picturesque. So as I reached for a chocolate bar with a wide grin on my face, I didn't expect it to get wiped away within the drop of a second.

On the other side of the aisle, a familiar pair of green eyes stared right back at me with a fright I hadn't seen in them before. Letha seemed to be holding her breath, waiting for me to speak, but instead, I froze with my hand still lingering on the chocolate-- we both stood still for so long, I was afraid the heat of my palm would melt the bar.

Letha's gaze moved from mine and down to my hands; I watched her eyes round out at the sight of the cuts on the back of my hands, the ones caused by her new best friend Jasmine. "Your hands," she breathed, clearly taken aback. I remembered overhearing Letha's conversation with Roman, where it had been unveiled that she had no idea I had been injured at all. Suddenly, all I could remember was the hurt in her voice as she continued; "I didn't think they would be so... gosh, I hoped Roman was exaggerating."

In the midst of my shock, I snapped out of it as a wave of anger washed over me. I was standing face to face with the girl who had made my life a living hell at school, and I no longer felt anything else than pure resentment. In a flash of confidence, I grabbed the chocolate bar and walked off without saying a word, not feeling the need to respond.

I should've known that wouldn't be the end-- "Hey, wait!" Letha followed on the other side of the aisle, her worried eyes never leaving me. "We need to talk, I can't do this anymore!"

As I reached the end of the candy aisle, our lanes intertwined. Groaning, I turned on my heel and started my march toward the beverages, hoping to shake her off. "I can spare you the hassle and tell you I have about three visible hickeys. Kindly throw up outside," In an attempt to keep calm, I started scouring the selection of drinks.

Letha quickly caught up to me, putting her hand over mine as I reached for the door to the beverages. "I don't care," she tried, eyes more sincere than ever. "I want you to know how sorry I am about you getting hurt. I never wanted it to go this far."

In an act of defiance, I wried my hand out of hers. "Fuck you," I sneered, forcing the fridge door open. "Sure, I got physically hurt, but I've been hurting for more than a month without you giving as much as a shit about it!" Reaching for a cola and a bottle of water, I turned to meet Letha's gaze. "Instead of shutting me out, you could've listened to me like you promised to when I told you about everything with Roman. Instead, you isolated me, made me a target, and now you expect me to want to talk to you?"

Letha's eyes were swimming in tears at this point, freezing to her spot. "I never wanted this for any of us! I'm so sorry!" She did her best to collect herself, but her voice was on the brink of breaking; "I never wanted to lose you in all of this, I miss my best friend! Do you not miss me too?"

I was ready to turn around and leave, but I stopped in my tracks. What?

... She missed me? And she was apologizing?

Just as I was about to answer, I felt a familiar presence come up behind me. Judging by the sound of the heavy boots, I pieced together that it was Peter. "Letha?" He seemed caught off guard by her presence, but his hands still reached for the items I was holding, indicating that we should get going.

Something about this was off-- my eyes darted back and forth between them, watching Letha's pupils dilate in what I could only guess was shock; what else could it be? "Peter? What are you--"

"Road trip," he said, tone stern as he cut her off. Peter grabbed my shoulders, now ushering me out of the way and towards the cashier.

I became a rambling mess, uttering a few incohesive words as I looked back at Letha. What had just happened? Peter's grip on my shoulders was the only thing stabilizing me as I somehow managed to pay and get out of the gas station. He opened the door to the passenger seat, sitting me down as he rolled his eyes at the sight of his best friend fixing his hair in the rearview mirror.

My guess was that I looked shell-shocked, because Roman immediately looked quite concerned as he exchanged a look with Peter. He reached forward, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. "Are you having a heat stroke? Why do you look so fried?"

Peter answered for me, plopping himself down in the back seat; "Letha," he mumbled, putting on his seatbelt. "She was in there. Didn't catch the convo, but your girls seemed to be going at each other's throats."

With a groan, Roman ran his hand down to grab mine, intertwining our fingers. "What did she say?" he asked me, giving my digits a small squeeze.

I shook my head; "Nothing. Let's just get out of here,"

I didn't want to tell him how hard it hit me to hear that Letha missed me and that she was finally apologizing. That it was churning my heart, grinding all the molecules of my anger down into a single river of sadness. What made everything worse, was the look on Roman's face; something told me that he knew, and that he most certainly didn't want to get into a push-and-pull situation with Letha. Who would win in that situation?

I was relieved when he finally started the car-- I hoped not to think about this for the remainder of the day.

... Was there actually hope for reconciliaton? I wasn't sure whether I was ready for that or not, but it was still killing me.

Killing me.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ

After dropping Peter off at his place, Roman parked somewhere along my dimly lit street as the moonlight shone down on us, not yet wanting me to leave. He glanced over at me, watching me picking at my nails in nervous habit as my mind raced; even after a long day of fun, I couldn't forget my encounter with Letha. The look in her eyes, the fact that she wanted to finally bury the hatchet-- no, it was impossible to shake that.

Roman shifted, not giving away his true feelings about the ordeal as he scanned the way I shut down. It was clear that he was thinking rather hard about what to say next, clearly not wanting to say the wrong thing. However, something told me he was annoyed as he spoke; "Is it not enough for you?"

My brows drew together in confusion, meeting his gaze. "What are you talking about?"

Roman shrugged; "Us. This,"

"What?" I sat up in my seat, eyes widening. This was certainly not a conversation I thought we would be having a week into our relationship. "I'm confused--"

"If you're so easily swayed by Letha, it can't be enough. Right?" Roman's gaze hardened, and it didn't take long before I recognized this was a pattern-- the second he felt his position was threatened, he simply got angry. "I'm trying not to be pushy about sex, I'm being open about my feelings or whatever, but you want to run right back to her!"

I blinked twice, baffled. "I'm not sure I want to, but what does it matter to you?--"

"You really think she'd be okay with us being together if you become friends again?" Roman's grip on the steering wheel tightened as his jaw clenched, clearly bothered by his next thoughts; "She'd make you choose."

My heart hurt-- I didn't expect him to make such conclusions. Still, I gathered my thoughts, realizing I was witnessing one of his fits of panic that he didn't know how to put into words; "Okay, you know what? You taught me a little something a week ago, and now I'm going to see if it works. Look at me, please,"

Roman didn't budge; instead, his grip around the steering wheel tightened, and I saw he was holding his breath.

"Rome?"

A hum.

"Look at me,"

Reluctantly, he finally did. His chest rose and fell in sharp moves, clearly trying to collect himself and his impending outburst of anger. Like this, Roman was more handsome than ever-- something about how dark he got weirdly made my head buzz.

Still, I knew I had two more steps to go; I reached out to brush the strand of hair lying over his forehead, stroking my fingers through his dark locks in an attempt to bring him back down to earth. Roman's jaw remained clenched as he met my eyes, still not letting his guard down despite his pupils widening at the sight of me.

I ran my hand down his face, stroking my thumb across his cheek as I watched him keen against my palm. It seemed to be calming him down, and I let out a long sigh of relief to see it working.

Now, to the last part-- "Then I just have to say what I want, right?"

Roman seemed to catch onto what I was doing as he gave in to a small nod. The usual shimmer in his eyes returned, intrigue brewing in his green gaze; "That's how it usually goes, yeah,"

I did my best not to laugh-- something about the way he held his breath, waiting for my next words, was so ridiculously cute. Roman Godfrey, the man of the hour, the menace, my hallway crush for as long as I could remember, was nervous. A puddle of anxiety in my hands.

And he had no idea.

"You think I went through all this shit just to throw you away?" My fingers gently trailed over his softening face, watching his every move. The weight of my next words was something I felt leave my chest the second I finally spelled them out; "You've got me, Roman. All of me. Nothing Letha ever does or says will change that, and she knows that. You have nothing to be nervous about, seriously."

What ensued caught me off guard like never before-- I didn't expect Roman to lean forward and kiss me the way he did, with passion that nearly took my breath away. The usual warmth swelled in my chest as his plush lips pressed against mine, and a mix of the night air and his touch made me shiver beneath the moonlight. It started out light; his hand trailed up from my neck, twisting into the nape of my neck, bringing me closer with a burning need I didn't see in him very often.

Then it hit me that I hadn't ever put much thought into how hard it was to make out in a car. However, Roman was a man of many solutions-- I let in a shaky breath as our lips disconnected, but it was quickly knocked out again when his arms wrapped around me and lifted me out of my seat. I let out a loud squeak, instinctively clinging onto Roman as he somehow managed to sit me on top of him in the driver's seat, laughing against the kiss he pulled me into.

My heart was racing, arms still draped around him in a protective hold as he pushed back the steering wheel as much as he could, downright giggling against my lips. I had never kissed someone while having a laughing fit, but as I joined in on Roman's, I realized how much of a high it was.

"Your face," he laughed in between playful nips, hands trailing down to grab my waist.

I rolled my eyes, grabbing a fistful of his hair to pull him away and get a proper look at him as he grinned up at me. Had it been up to me, I would've frozen this moment and kept it tucked away in my freezer, knowing it would never melt away there. Roman's eyes were illuminated by a nearby lamp, the orange hues mixing in with his green, making them a yellow-y brown; almost the same colour as his hair which was soft to the touch today, and not gelled up like usual. The way he looked at me with joy, the ultimate show of affection, nearly made me gelatin in his arms.

Oh, and the laugh-- the fucking laugh. The gorgeous, deep laugh, which would definitely etch itself into my mind, ready to be replayed on bad days.

I got my hands out of his hair, cupping his face as I cocked a brow; "Yeah, what about my face?"

Roman sighed, his signature smirk on display. I expected him to say something either dirty or stupid like the usual, but instead, he opted to take my breath away once more with the following-- he went quiet, eyes rounding out as he took the time to scan my every feature, every movement, as though I was a beautiful, rare diamond; "It's gorgeous,"

My lips parted, staring back at him with a dumbfounded expression. I was ready to say something, pull myself together, until I realized I didn't have to anymore-- Roman was my boyfriend.

Roman was my boyfriend.

I didn't have to pull myself together. I could go absolutely mad, if I wanted to.

... And somehow, I found myself wanting to drive myself to complete and utter madness.

I had no idea what came over me when I placed my hands on each side of his face, slowly driving them up into his hair as I pressed my lips against him in an open, desperate kiss. Roman hummed (was that a moan?), his hands trailing down into my back pockets as he pressed me further up against him, none of us giving a damn about the fact that we were parked on a street and that anyone could walk by at any moment despite how deserted the neighborhood was so late at night.

It took a turn as Roman sunk his teeth into my bottom lip, eliciting a small whimper. The fingers I had in his hair tightened around his dark locks as a need for friction built between my legs, and when Roman drew my hips forward to meet his, I didn't fight-- instead, I was quite sure I moaned.

My cheeks burned with the realization, but I didn't have much time to think about it. I was drawn further into a state of arousal as he got his hands out of my pockets, his big hands grabbing my ass properly as his hips bucked up to meet mine through our clothes.

Fuck, fuck, fuck-- my brain was in such a state of overdrive, I didn't think twice before lightly sucking down on the tip of Roman's tongue, feeling him let out a shaky breath against me.

The gentle breeze of the night poked at my clouded mind, reminding me of where we were, that I had a curfew to get to. I disconnected our lips, hearing Roman sigh; "We shouldn't," I tried, shifting as I pulled my jacket over my shoulder-- it was in this moment that I realized that he was hard. My heart fluttered with delight as I realized I could feel his cock swell with growing interest, feel him keen against me, separated by just a few layers-- my eyes widened, meeting his. Something told me it was a little too late to back down now.

Roman hummed, his breathing slowing down as he grinned up at me; "Yeah, you might be right... But why do the right thing when you can do the fun thing?" His fingers reached for my jacket, almost taking it off again. When my skin was exposed once more, he leaned forward, gently pressing his lips against my collarbones.

I was going to push him away, remind him of our surroundings-- but as I felt Roman swipe his tongue along my skin with every kiss, I couldn't. Every touch, every kiss, made the buzzing in my mind louder.

My breath hitched, fingers running back up into his hair as his kisses trailed further down my skin. It felt as though my hands were on fire, arousal burning through my veins as my heart thumped loudly in my chest. I wanted him so bad, I didn't think twice before I rolled my hips down against his hard cock, hearing Roman let out a grunt before he finally took the liberties to force a repetition of my actions with his hands on my ass.

This was bad; so, so bad. I knew I was done for when I shifted, the pressure against my clit only dulling my mind further. The slight tremble that appeared in my knees made me reach for the seat, no longer feeling steady; "Rome," I tried, feeling my desperation grow as his hungry kisses trailed down my shirt.

"Shh... Just a little more," Roman's hands pressed against my back, pulling me flush against him. I nearly let out a whine as I realized he was dangerously close to the hem of my bra, and I had to take a quick look around the area to make sure no one was seeing this. "Roman--"

"You have no idea how long I've thought about having you like this," he said, voice low as his hands slowly moved up my body. "You were always so against the idea of fucking in my car... Makes me want to show you how good it could be."

I felt my face redden, burning with a mix of shock and intrigue. In fact, I was so out of it that I barely registered the moment Roman's hand reached for my bra, pulling one cup to the side to grab a handful of my chest--

Squeaking in shock, I didn't have time to push him off before he leaned forward, licking a wet stripe up my hardening bud. My face was practically on fire, squirming in his grip as a shaky moan escaped my lips.

"You're so pretty," he breathed, eyes meeting mine to keep my gaze locked on him as he placed an open-mouthed kiss against my breast. My breath hitched, not yet used to this feeling-- it felt as though I was getting electrocuted all the way down to my clit with every flick of his tongue.

This was definitely the most risky thing I had ever done in my life. I never thought I would be doing anything like this on an open street and that I wouldn't be fighting it. Nonetheless, I let out a broken moan as my hands went up into his hair, my fingers twisting further into Roman's dark locks as his lips wrapped around me once more, sucking me in between his lips.

As the tremble in my legs worsened, I pulled him away from me, watching as his half-lidded green eyes shimmered with lust. "Christ," I breathed, quickly pulling my top back into place. "I'm no better than your cheerleader whores, at this point."

Roman clearly didn't expect me to say that, laughing as his hands now rested on my hips. "I haven't even done anything yet," he cooed, tracing circles into my jeans. "But actually, this reminds me there was one thing you told me you'd do..."

My eyes widened as he reached forward to clasp his fingers around my wrists. Of all the things I thought he'd do, this was certainly not it-- I felt my breath hitch once more as Roman pressed my trembling hands against his clothed, hard cock.

Oh God. "Not here!" I tried, hoping to slow down the beating of my heart. "I can't-- Fuck, Rome, I wouldn't even know what to do!"

Roman bit his lip, mostly to not laugh right in my face. The amusement in his eyes told me all I needed to know; "You think I haven't taken that into account? I know you haven't done this before,"

"And you're still up for it...?"

Roman's eyes widened, looking rather bewildered. "Are you kidding me? I'd be up for it during a fucking terrorist attack, believe me,"

That was not an image I wanted to have in my head. Oh, Roman and his antics-- "Shut up," I mumbled, feeling myself grow more anxious. Anyone could walk by right now, and my parents were definitely wondering where on earth I was.

"You shut up,"

I gasped, my eyes narrowing at the sight of Roman's grin; "Hah! Make me,"

"Sure," he said, shrugging. "You might moan a little, though."

I was tempted to freeze up until a reflex I didn't know I had kicked in-- shifting, I put my hand on his thigh to support myself as the one he had put over his hard-on reached for his zipper. "Don't fuck with me, Godfrey. I might just retaliate,"

I watched all the air in Roman's lungs seep out through his mouth as his green eyes burned into mine, a look of surprise streaking across his face which quickly morphed into intrigue. "Shit," he breathed. "I've broken you already, haven't I? Who are you, and what have you done to my girl?"

I couldn't help but smile-- this was something I could certainly get used to. "Breaking me is going to take a lot more, don't you worry,"

"Really, now?" Shifting, Roman's face was mere inches away from mine. The night air flowed through his hair in a soft breeze, his parted lips looking more enticing than ever-- I longed for them to be kiss-swollen once more. He gently nudged his nose against mine, hovering to drag out the tension as I held my breath in anticipation for his next words; "I'm dying to put that to the test... Can't wait to see you all pretty and broken, whimpering while I fuck you."

I hadn't been so flustered in my life-- I struggled to catch my breath, succumbing to a nervous laugh. Roman was so damn intense, I didn't know how to recover. To put the cherry on top, I had subconsciously tightened my grip around his clothed hard-on, and I heard him let out a shaky breath against me.

I couldn't look at Roman for too long-- I was afraid I'd melt. The green in his eyes swallowed me, drawing me in, enticing me to say yes, but I knew I couldn't. Not right now, at least. Instead, I forced myself to remember that we were on an open street once again, and that I really needed to get home soon.

It was too early for all of that, anyway.

"Oh, you and your dirty mouth," I breathed, leaning forward to press a short kiss against his keening lips. My hands lifted off him, resting at his shoulders. "For someone that insists they're not pushy about sex, you sure talk a lot about it."

Roman sighed, catching onto the fact that I was ready to leave. "I said I'm trying. But I'm open to the possibility that I might be failing," His grip on my hips tightened, pulling me closer with a pout. "Don't leave just yet. Stay."

If it had been up to me, I would've stayed in this moment forever. "My parents are going to kill me," I said, pressing another kiss against his lips, feeling him smile against me. "We have school tomorrow, anyway--"

"Stay," Roman's arms wrapped around me in a strong hold, engulfing me in his seductive cologne. "Just kiss me a little more, and I might consider letting you go in about three hours or so."

I rolled my eyes, giggling against him. "Come on, you're not making it easy for me here!--"

"Exactly,"

"Rome, I--" As my phone rang in my jacket on the passenger seat, I let out a sigh of relief; "Okay, that's definitely my parents calling. I'm about to be grilled like a turkey at Thanksgiving, thank you very much!"

Roman huffed as I placed a kiss against his forehead, letting go of me with a disappointed snort before he leaned over, handing me my phone.

I did my best not to get too swept up in his puppy eyes, knowing I was two seconds away from staying in the car with him all night. However, I knew it would definitely not end well for my sanity. So as I turned my phone around, ready to answer my parents and start explaining why I was so late, I froze when I saw who the actual caller was.

Roman's demeanour immediately changed-- something told me he already knew. Still, he asked; "Who is it?"

Fuck.

Fuck, fuck fuck!

"... It's Letha,"

(a/n: if you've come this far, thank you so so much!!! here's PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 7, PART 8, PART 9 and PART 10 if you want to check them out!!<3333)

just tagging a few people that seemed interested!!<3:

@mentallyscreamingsincebirth @putherup @corawithfanfiction @vladsgirlxx

@iamaslytherin0 @sexualparkour @the-universe-is-complicated @heavenly-bratt

@lafemme-nk @namiusedbubble @useyourwandbro @strmborns @literally-lani

@virgosapphire79 @star-girl-04 @veyzus @ddipotassium

#roman godfrey #hemlock grove #roman godfrey x reader #x reader #bill skarsgård #fanfiction #oneshot #bill skarsgard #angst #toxic relationship #highschool!au #vampire x you #peter rumancek #hemlock grove fanfiction #bruhhh letha is killing me here #i'm doing this to myself tho #letha godfrey

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