#highlights of the discourse

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

whenever i say that a character needs therapy and healing before they start a relationship, people jump at my throat and assume that i'm saying that people with mental health issues shouldn't date at all or that they're not deserving of love.

folks. i have bipolar type 2. i'm also a psychology major. trust me when i say that i never said people with mental health issues shouldn't date at all.

i just think that it's a lot healthier to get into a committed relationship once you've started therapy and/or medication. no one is stopping you from getting into a relationship before that, but there is a higher chance of the relationship turning unhealthy and/or complicated. not just for your partner but for yourself as well.

and there are other relationships that people can and should focus on. i would never recommend an individual completely isolate themselves because they're mentally ill. that's the opposite of effective, it will only worsen your mental health.

romantic relationships aren't the only form of love. and when a person focuses solely on their romantic relationship, pushing aside their familial and platonic relationships, there's a higher chance of the person becoming overly dependent on their partner, which can again be unhealthy.

and keep in mind, my criticism is also more from a fictional perspective. stories that ignore a character's trauma and just give them a romantic partner aren't trying to tell you that people with mental health issues deserve love too, they're trying to brush the character's trauma under the rug and hoping that you won't notice.

a lot of these writers seem to genuinely think that romance will “cure” a character, and that's such a harmful mindset because it discourages people from seeking professional help. it's the same logic as thinking that birthing a child will solve relationship problems between a couple - that's just not how it works.

and in cases like catra, it's even worse because catra is not just dating anyone, she's dating the same person she has abused since childhood. this is destructive for both of them, not just adora. we have to realize that toxicity often stems from some kind of trauma (though not always) and it's not ableist to say that an abuser shouldn't be dating their victim.

one good example of a relationship involving a victim of trauma, in my opinion, is steven and connie from steven universe.

steven universe future focuses entirely on steven's deteriorating mental health, caused by all the trauma he endured in the original series. but in the end, after experiencing a mental breakdown, he actually seeks professional help before beginning to date connie.

it must also be mentioned that their relationship had great development since their friendship was already quite healthy and mutually supportive, and connie has been with steven through all his highs and lows. and so, it doesn't feel like this relationship came out of nowhere, just so that steven gets a happy ending.

it's a satisfying conclusion to both of their arcs and even better because they're allowed to stay away from each other and pursue their own goals while still being in a relationship, meaning that there won't be the risk of them becoming codependent.

this is all that i'm asking writers do with their characters with mental health issues/trauma. you can give them a romantic partner, just make sure you address their personal problems too, instead of brushing them under the rug.

[glitter-stained]

Still so mad that Mia's official Speedy suits didn't let her keep her wide pant legs, like come on that's such an integral part of her look

Like, I'm sorry, but putting aside that I have a very obvious favourite Mia artist, those:

Will never have the same oomf as this one:

Anyway Mia's always wearing wide pants as a civilian and I love the shapes when she jumps and does flips in them it's so cool she deserved to have them in her hero suit thank you for coming to my ted talk

[xxx-theartofsuicide-xxx]

This, ladies and germs, is what we call an emotional bias. This argument is worthless because it hinges on the personal disgust of the author while lobbing ad hominems at anyone who disagrees with them. Only surface level plot analysis is utilized to support the claims made therein, and no attempt is made to either acknowledge or invalidate all evidence to the contrary, which is bountiful and plenty.

This is the only type of argument you will ever see from antis. Civil debate is beyond their scope.

Reposting with a screenshot rather than a reblog because I'm happy to let OP hang out in the rain with the plastic cows.

Edit: I just noticed they had the audacity to put this in Winona's tag. Disrespectful. Ungrateful.

[beanghostprincess]

I mean… wlw content get overshadowed by mlm ships everyday so it is insensitive a little

Not to sound too mean but what do you expect me to do? I get that sapphic ships get overshadowed and underrated all the time in comparison to achillean ones. Believe me. I am a lesbian who is constantly pushing their sapphic ships everywhere.

But you can't expect people to suddenly stop posting about the achillean ships they enjoy just because they're more popular than YOUR favorite ships. Is it bothersome that achillean ships get more attention for the sole reason of being a male pairing while sapphic ships get ignored or not even suggested? Yeah!!!! It's frustrating.

But if you want some change in the amount of content you see then it's YOUR fight only and others should be allowed to post whatever they like. If you want to post only sapphic ships or you're bothered by them being talked in the same light as achillean ones, then it's YOUR choice to make.

Fandom is NOT activism!!! Fandom is meant to be enjoyed in whatever way you want. Fandom is to interpret media in your own way. So, honestly, if I want to make a simple post comparing two ships I like, why should I be trying to defend myself here for that? If people don't like it, then they can just block me, scroll, move on, etc.

To think a post about comparing fictional ships is insensitive is insane to me, tbh.

[dxxtruction]

Do you think - all speculation here but let's indulge a bit anyway - do you think, from Armand's perspective when he's in all likelihood just heard Daniel voice his complaints and beg to be turned into a replacement for all Louis' lost, that that could be a part of his choice to then come in when Louis' on his neck? That a part of him was thinking... even if Louis is angry in the moment... that Louis would inevitably do it? (He could, at least?)

He kept him alive all this time. He'd shared with him things he never shares. It's morning and he'd still kept his attention. He's special, Armand knows without needing to hear it out of Louis' mouth.

And like, from his perspective does he see this replacement as the last thing Louis needs? Considering how well filling a void by making another vampire had turned out for him the first time. How he'd been filling a seemingly un-fillable void as it is. How he's unstable, and not in the right mind to be taking on such a responsibility. How it's a bad idea doomed to fail, only a more disastrous mess to clean up in the end if he doesn't stop this now. Or, maybe let's say he's only at all concerned with himself, Armand has many selfish reasons to want Louis to move on. So, he at least finds Daniel, the potential of Daniel, to be a threat because of what he'd be replacing - leading to Daniel as this wedge between something that was already splitting hairs as it was. Maybe it's a bit of both, and either way, whether it's a success or not Daniel poses something Armand can't handle.

Anyway it'll be interesting to see how, or if, they bridge the initial feelings towards Daniel on Armand's part with the Daniel we have now. Cause there's a lot of questions there. There's a strange sense of fondness towards him? At least this is something I'm seeing in their interactions so far.

[thecruellestmonth]

Things I'm seeing the Fanon Stans (/pos /affectionate /neutral) pick up lately:

al Ghuls are highly educated doctors ✅️✅️ <- true and correct and canon 👌

Duke hates Dick 🆗️ <- extrapolation and exaggeration but funny and potential-ful

You can identify a Fanon Stan when they preface their statements with "I'm pretty sure that..." or "Well didn't [thing] happen in canon?" and then repeat a cherry-picked or exaggerated version of canon filtered through the silly/venting/manipulative account of a Canon Stan.

[dindjarindiaries]

Every year with every new season, all the chatter about whether Pedro will be on set for The Mandalorian or not returns. The only season this wasn't a problem for was season 2, and still, a rumor about him being a "behind-the-scenes diva" still caused gossip to fly around.

Trust me, it happens every time, and every time it's proven wrong. Pedro shows he's just as committed to the role, that he loves it just as much, and that sometimes it's simply a matter of what they work out for the scheduling or for the sake of his own physical body.

It's totally okay to be upset about Pedro not being in the suit that much, all feelings about it are valid, of course! It definitely adds a charm that was evident in many season 2 scenes. Din, however, has so far been someone else in the suit probably 75% of the time - and that's the Din we continue to know and love to this day, too. Thus, the story and character wouldn't be impacted by Pedro's absence alone.

For some reason, it seems people want to specifically discredit Pedro's contribution to the role, but that doesn't make sense. It's the same as Darth Vader has been ever since the beginning, but Pedro's been given an even more active role in it. Even for Vader's return in Obi-Wan Kenobi, Hayden wasn't the one in the suit for every single scene. Katee also spoke about how Bo-Katan isn't always her, too. The same goes for Din and Pedro.

Season 3 didn't feel the same because it was a darker tone, and it focused on more than just Din and Grogu. It had a lot to accomplish, and in doing so, it had to sacrifice some of the things that are most beloved about the series. You can agree with that decision and love it, or you can not agree and consider season 3 a miss. Either way, it wasn't any of the actors' faults, as season 1 proved that Din Djarin is just fine without Pedro physically there at all times.

Din Djarin has been a three-person team since the beginning. The things these actors can control about Din's character will be just fine in their hands. The blame for the way a story goes, as was the case in season 3, doesn't deserve to go to any of them.

It's hard to drown out the noise about this situation for every season, and trust me, I've been in this fandom long enough to know that - but a lot of what's said about Pedro seems to be, for some odd reason, many people wanting him to fail, and he won't.

[felixravinstills]

fun(?) fact: the first time (like 3-4 years ago) I really got cannibalism was when I read a short fanfiction about a man cannibalizing his stillborn son... I understood then... the potential...

(previous to this, I also shadowed a fandom with a subsection of people that thought cannibalism was really boring, so weirdly, I think I went on the opposite journey that most people have with the topic... I was afraid I was going to get called shallow and boring for when I first was like hey! cannibalism is kinda fun to explore!)

[kawaiifacesong]

I'm just writing to sort out my feelings on the matter.

I've seen it said that the discourse around wanting to keep male friends platonic is "homophobic". I do think that the idea of two men being "unable to be friends anymore" has that flavour.

But for me the issue is that the male loneliness epidemic is a real thing, and it is indeed born from homophobia. Because at the end of the day, it's all about signalling. The common theory around the male gaze and fetishization of female sexualities (particularly w|w relationships) is to signal their heterosexuality. To signal otherwise would be to invite prejudice.

And many media male friendships have historically been given this flavour. Hence, the common refrain that platonic male relationships have often been marked by toxic masculinity, to signal that they could never be else but platonic. The other signal, of course, is outright homophobia from the characters themselves (as we all know from the age-old trope of closeted guys being the most prejudicial).

I do think that's lessened today, and we are seeing more platonic male friendships which don't have these homophobic or sexist markers. But it's no less important to showcase even if it is more common. Because at the end of the day, some people are homophobic. That's a very unfortunate fact of life. Believe me, I feel a lot of rage and resentment about how society is constructed by and for straight people, but it's currently the reality of the situation.

And showcasing that men can be close, and can be seen to be platonic, without having to throw in toxic and homophobic "signals" that they could never display attraction to one another, is progress. Does it directly address homophobia? Maybe not. But it decimates a structure that is built on the foundation of homophobia. The assumption that two men can't be close without being attracted to one another is a platform that allows homophobia to thrive.

Especially when one of the pairing is bi/queer. That, to my knowledge, is actually pretty rare. And that's something RG has said a lot about, and which I think is a pretty good take. A platonic male friendship where two guys, one heterosexual and one queer, can remain close without it becoming romantic is great progress in my view.

I think it tells a lot of guys that it's fine to be close to other men without having to have that relationship centered on, or filtered through, "signalling" their heterosexuality. And even more so, that they can be close to queer men without people being "sus".

The homophobia, as I see it, is in thinking that there is anything wrong with two men falling in love at all, friends or not, straight or queer, but (again) that's just a fact of life. We work in the system we have, not in the system we want.

If people think a "straight" man coming out as queer and falling in love with another "straight" guy who just came out as bi addresses the issue of the male loneliness epidemic or male friendships, I would say you are just plain wrong.

That sort of story is really about queer people and for queer people. And there's a lot of value in that. But at the end of the day, it's just another love story really. Nothing that hasn't really been seen before.

But it absolutely doesn't address platonic male friendships. At best, straight guys who need that "lesson" will just ignore it. Because it doesn't apply to them given it's not actually about straight guys.

At worst, they will see it as confirmation that having any kind of close friendship with another man, especially a queer man, will be taken as a "signal" about their sexuality, and probably not a signal that reflects how they actually identify.

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

idk where these pictures are from but how do you see catra smirking at adora and mocking her, and think “ah, she's looking at adora so lovingly”.

i noticed people did this with that scene in s4 too where catra was literally electrocuting adora and swift wind, all while victim blaming adora for hurting her friends.

i guess context doesn't matter.

[fictionadventurer]

Potential August Reads:

Helen by Maria Edgeworth

Marcel's Letters by Carolyn Porter

Heretics by G.K. Chesterton

The Unselected Journals of Emma M. Lion by Beth Brower

Something by Rose Wilder Lane

Poetry by James Whitcomb Riley

Something Jane Austen related (movies/miniseries count)

[a-moth-called-mof]

Okay so I don't usually like posting discourse but something I haven't seen anyone bring up about the current dumb thing Dream did is that he set his fucking fanbase, notorious for harassing people, on a 17-year-old DID SYSTEM WITH CPTSD. Like, all of that harassment and stress will fuck them up. It'd fuck anyone up anyone but like, holy shit living with DID is already stressful. The suicide rate for people with DID is already over 70% with multiple attempts being common AND THEYRE LITERALLY JUST 17. The amount of stressful shit and hate Dream fans are sending them is actually fucking dangerous and will affect them heavily. I hope to fuck they're okay and safe and that their systems doing fine because oh my fucking god

I don't give a shit if "Dream didn't know uwu" or if "he was just replying to hate :(((". If you're a big content creator and you know that your fanbase has a big harassment problem, MAYBE DONT DIRECTLY REPLY TO SMALL COMMENTS FROM SMALL TWITTER ACCOUNTS. You cant control your fanbase but it's your fucking responsibility to use your platform wisely and not reply to a 17-year-old on Twitter because they made a bad comment about your shit merch

[amphibious-thing]

Like there is this issue in historical fiction fandom (not just OFMD) where people care way more about their fandom takes than they care about actual history. So people will take the bits of history that suit them while ignoring the parts that don’t. And there isn’t necessarily any issue with this if we are all aware and honest about what we are doing (fiction is fiction after all). But unfortunately you end up with people who see historical fact as a tool to use in fandom discourse. It becomes my headcanon is the only correct interpretation because *historical fact*. And so if you say hey actually this isn’t historically accurate they see that as an attack on their headcanon rather than just correcting historical misinfo.

Possibly one of the most toxic examples I’ve seen of this was from the Fate fandom where these guys were arguing about what genitals d'Eon had historically. But it was so clear they didn't really care about the history at all. They only cared about proving that the genitals they imagine anime d'Eon having when they jerk off to her are the correct genitals. Their stances clearly based on what they found arousing not historical fact at all. The whole thing was (besides just blatantly transphobic) transparently about what they got off to but there was this posturing of being an intellectual who cares about historical facts.

[ringneckedpheasant]

mr greg is Such an episode. we were eating so good w these songs

[iamnmbr3]

Wow. Just saw a critique of a story that deals with the topic of ableism saying that it is ableist since it depicts the central character being persecuted because of a disability but never has any of the other characters say that the ableism is wrong.

Like the argument is literally that because the sympathetic main character is persecuted due to a disability but none of the other characters turn to the metaphorical camera and are like "oh this is actually ableist and bad" somehow the creator is condoning that behavior instead of critiquing it. Even though that CLEARLY was not the intent.

Critical thinking skills really are dead huh? When will people learn that depicting something is not the same as condoning it?!