#high calorie human

[ilovecryoffearsm]

Fuck everyone i wanna walk out of my room naked and just do whatever the fuck i want but these nasty greasy old pigs are in my fucking living room instead of going on a walk that their fatasses need kill ypurself oh my goodness gracious no playlist seems to put feminine rage jnto words and i think im experiencing that rn cause j feel a bunch of other shit but i don't know what i am if im woman or not or whatever the fuuu TV g i fud fuck jdjcbxwudbrhec eycsibc i hate this

[bambroot]

TIL I'm a high calorie human. I prefer to call myself a food enthusiast.

[torpublishinggroup]

Devilman Crybaby meets Marvel’s Venom in Exordia, the science fiction debut of Seth Dickinson, author of The Traitor Baru Cormorant. 

Ssrin Character Illustration by Julie Dillon

WHAT’S IT ABOUT

Meet Anna Sinjari, a refugee and disaffected office worker eking an existence in New York City. Her life is about to be upended by Ssrin, an alien with eight serpent heads, no qualms with cold-blooded murder, and an appetite for turtles (yum).

The universe is governed by seven passions, seven patterns which appear again and again, across species and across time. Anna and Ssrin are bound by the last and the greatest. The cosmos itself ships their very souls. Specifically for them, that means they’ll have to outmaneuver spies, armies, and government agencies to save humanity from a diabolical alien entity, hellbent on pinioning the souls of every creature on earth.

Exordia is expansive adventure science fiction that reads like a race-against-the-clock thriller in the vein of Michael Crichton, but steeped in the irony, humor, and pain of the Internet age. An alien-human epic for those who've always rooted for the monster.

[robichuwu]

[theartingace]

Idea: orchard harvester saddle. More of a standing platform with a scooter handlebar for the rider where the centaur can hand things up and down. (playing Farming Simulator is making me crave more peaceful/agricultural world building; there's already so much Warlike WB around, it needs some balance)

(also, eat like a horse vs eat like a bird, horse metab is high efficiency but a lot of it just due to net size, imagine that efficiency applied to refined grains and breads. Centaur diets would be less-per-weight than humans, although not necessarily by much due to the metabolic needs of sapient brain and foretorso)

Ohhhh I absolutely love this and absolutely think it should be a thing. I've been thinking more about the inherent benefits of centaurs in an agrarian society and more and more the borders of the Merchant city has been expanding outward towards the edge of Rider territory with enormous matriarchal farm towns that feed most of the surrounding societies so this would fit right in to that kind of lifestyle! And sounds so useful! One doing the moving and loadbearing, one doing the climbing and picking.

And I agree, war shapes societies undeniably but so many worldbuilders forget that trade, craft and industry shape cultures and societies just as much! It's definitely a topic i could GO OFF about haha, I have major exports and interrelated trade agreements drawn up between ALL my current societies 😁

(also absolutely, the use of refined grains and bread was a huge part of my initial thoughts about how centaurs could survive feeding that big horse body with comparatively small/limited human teeth. The efficiency of processed grain and grass fibers would be SO necessary to their digestion and overall survival!)

[habitual-creatures]

Hey Mx. H, question:

What’s your favourite part of the human body to eat? I’m very curious :p

(Also OOC- you’re cool have this 🫴🏻🌹)

IT DEPENDS...

FOR ACTUAL FOOD, FOR MEANINGFUL NUTRITIONAL QUALITY... I FIND THE THIGHS, UPPER ARMS, OR ORGANS (ESPECIALLY THE LIVER OR LUNGS) TO BE BEST...

HOWEVER, I LIKE TO THINK OF MYSELF AS A ROMANTIC...

SO I READILY ADMIT THAT MY FAVORITE PART FOR A... PERSONAL DINING EXPERIENCE IS PROBABLY THE HEART.

IT CAN BE SO BEAUTIFULLY CARVED OUT TOO... WHERE YOU CAN KEEP THEM ALIVE LONG ENOUGH TO WATCH THEM REALIZE WHAT YOUR GOAL IS... YOU CAN FEEL THEIR PULSE SPEED UP AS YOU GET CLOSER TO REMOVING IT FROM ITS CAGE...

IT'S INTOXICATING.

[ REGARDS, HABIT ]

(( gwahhh- thank you for saying you think I'm cool!!!! :'DDD I'm really not, I'm just a goober. And thank you for the digital rose!!! *I left a rose. /ref* sorry btw if this ask is really triggering in any ways to anyone... cannibalism is bad but so fascinating to hear about. :']] I'm weird so I know a lot about it. ))

[bonefall]

"How big should a Clan territory be?"

For the dozens of people who have asked this over the last couple of years!

This question comes in a lot of forms; "How big are the Clan territories?" "How much space does one Clan need?" "How much land should I give my Clans to exist in?" The answer is a bit complicated, and depends on the type of land, what you're going for exactly, the setting, so on.

But, broadly, there's TWO particular factors at play here; How anthropomorphic you're portraying your warriors, and how productive the land is.

Factor 1: The Anthro Scale

I'm starting with this one because it could you the simpler answer. The Erins write Clan cats like humans in cat bodies, with massive social units and communal living. Realistic feral cats don't act like Clan cats. They are only semi-social, due to domestication.

See, a Clan cat will "share" territory between all of its members, and some Clans have canonically hit populations of over 50 individuals. Real feral colonies consist of "overlapping circles" of somewhere between 2 - 15 cats, most of them related females.

This is relevant because, even in densely populated areas with as much food as they can eat, truly feral colonies will have about 2 cats per 5 acres, capping out at about 15 members. Queens will hang out together and raise their kittens communally, but they will hunt and patrol in their own "circle." These boundaries are violently enforced against outside cats, especially if it's too crowded.

(Toms have circles 5x as big as a queen's, overlapping several territories. They're also considerably less social.)

So, if you wanted to incorporate some cat behavior into your Clan's mindset about how big their territory should be, while still being willing to sacrifice a bit of "realism" for groups over 15-ish members, simply take Clan population and multiply it by 2.5 acres.

30 cats = 75 acres. That's a little under 57 football fields, if you're American, or 50 football fields, if you're European.

Extra reading: How realistic cat territories work. Contains the numbers I'm referencing.

It's also very important to know; feral cat density is completely tied to food availability, the big numbers numbers are for cats whose needs are met. Cats are solitary hunters, and when they feel like they have to work for their food, they become VERY territorial. The density of cats in rural areas can be as low as 1 molly per 15 acres, even lower for toms, and they will leave if hunting is not easy.

THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD NOT FEED FERAL CATS. Please GOD they are SO invasive, please do not give colonies food, they still hunt when they're full so you just end up concentrating a ton of predators in one place. They are not warriors with a law against disrespecting food, they are just kitty cats with silly kitty instincts

I have a suspicion that most of the people who are asking the question aren't really looking for a "realistic cat" answer, though. We LOVE our big cat Clans with their complicated politics around here. You're probably wondering how much land you need to feed your population!

Factor 2: Land Productivity

The exact amount of space is going to vary a lot, because it's more about productivity of the land to sustain a prey population than it is raw size. Remember what we learned back in Warrior Bites: Dietary Needs; a 30-cat Clan will need approximately 3 pounds of meat (10,500 calories) per day, which is about 2 rabbits, or 105 mice.

Here's some visual examples of what I mean. This one (1) acre homestead...

Has 20 patches of high-value crops, plus an orchard, AND livestock pens. This territory alone could attract enough crows, mice, rats, rabbits, and sparrows to feed all those cats daily. That's not even counting the humans themselves, who may be friendly enough to the colony to toss them kibble occasionally.

(this is why cats domesticated themselves. Even without the free food from the humans, farms are extremely productive hunting grounds.)

Meanwhile, the Edmonton Mall, which is a whopping five (5) acres...

Would be utterly barren. Best food you're going to get out of this wasteland is the leftovers humans toss out, and maybe the rats and pigeons that scavenge as well. It's 5x the space, and yet, infinitely harder to feed the same amount of cats.

So, the most helpful bit of advice I'm gonna give you is this; DON'T ask yourself "how big should this territory be?" You're starting with the wrong question. Start with a real location, and think about how you'd find 3 pounds of meat a day in that area.

It will be a LOT easier to think about the logistics in those terms, and this will lead you to the waaay more productive (and fun) worldbuilding questions. Such as;

"Where would the good hunting spots be?"

"What kinds of animals would they be eating? What sorts of beasts can threaten them, here?"

"How many of these animals would my 30 cat Clan need to hunt a day to equal about 3 pounds?"

"Where would these animals be getting THEIR food?"

"Is there enough habitat in the area for the prey to breed and nest? If not, is there more land beyond the territory that the prey is coming from?"

"Where would infrastructure like dens, walls, and dirtplaces go? What would these be made of?"

"Are there any neat spots for the cats to casually hang out on?"

"What would make for a super cool arena for my climactic narrative boss fights?"

"Does this area have unique stage hazards that my cats would have to learn to deal with?"

"Which sorts of plants and herbs would they encounter?"

If your Clan is tool-using, like BB!Clans are, then you can ask even more advanced questions. Like, where you'd find kindle for fire, what objects you can use as crafting materials, and what might make for unique trade goods.

Think about other things related to your Clan's biome-- in a tundra or desert, there will be less for prey to eat, so the territory will be large to cope with the low density. If there's a major body of water, they might have a constant supply of aquatic prey from upstream. Hunting grounds might change based on the seasons.

Also remember not to underestimate how fast small animals breed, and how many of them there can be in one area. Even using low estimates, 1 female mouse has 6 pups, 7 x 6 = 42, 42 x 6 = 252, 252 x 6 = 1,452. It takes only 4 months for mouse population growth to get exponentially ridiculous.

Finally, remember that prey can vary. A well run Clan would be able to generally understand when they've been overhunting one particular species, and start shifting gears to lift the "pressure" off that population.

(In my cultural expansions series, this management task is assigned to one of the new roles-- the Head of Hunting.)

[i-was-today-years-old-when]

i learned why can animals eat each other alive but humans get sick eating raw meat

In Sapiens, Professor Yuval Noah Harari explains the reason. It was an evolutionary bargain. The human brain takes up 25% of the body’s energy. Compare that with 8% in other apes, and lesser in other animals.

Unlike today, the primitive Homo Sapiens did not have easy access to high-calorie food. And maintaining such a big brain took a lot of resources and energy. Our ancestors paid for the evolution of a larger brain in two ways — their muscles atrophied and their intestines got shorter.

It was a very heavy toll for the body to spend energy on digesting food, it was a lot more convenient if the food was somehow already broken down or cooked, reducing the amount of energy spent by the body that went into digesting the food.

And the cooked food saved the body vital energy to evolve the larger brain of Homo Sapiens and Neanderthals.

As such, it became difficult to digest more complex food like cellulose.

Look at our friend Mr Gorilla here, munching on raw bamboo while none of us can eat sugarcane.

That’s why we cook because we simply can not digest most food in the raw form.

And that’s because we have big brains :)

So, thank evolution that we can choose from a range of tasty stuff to eat. ;)

[takumiraine]

Once Upon a Time chapter 9

Danny is still going through it, but it gets better I promise.

Taku note: jesus fuck putting the links in on these ones was a beast. I actually had to LOG IN to tumblr on my COMPUTER. ick.

<first> <prev> <next>

There is some texting abbreviations here. The abbreviations are: B, meaning Bruce, obviously. It is saved as just ‘B’ in his phone. R, meaning Replacement which is Tim. Tim is saved as Replacement. DB is Damian, saved as Demon Brat. D, is Dick, and is just saved as an eggplant emoji in Jason’s phone. This may or may not be relevant later.

—-

Okay. Okay. He needs a plan. He needs to think and form a plan. He needs a computer. He grabs a notebook. Scrambles around his upturned apartment until he finds a pen. Starts writing equations. The equations will solve to binary numbers. Each one a different letter. His brain is humming. He double checks his work. Triple checks it. Tears the page out.

Checks the work again.

He grabs a bit of his remaining cash. Climbs out onto his fire escape. Phases his hand through the glass to carefully reset the trap.

Move on silent feet, sticking to shadows. Hoodie on and hood over his head. Silent and fast. Alert. Find an Internet cafe. Buy an hour of computer time. Log onto the conspiracy site. Send a new private message.

Carefully type in the equations with shaking hands. Time ticks by so slowly and yet so fast. Equations come back to him. Solve. Translate. Read. Send more back. More frantic than before. They have to run. They have to hide. They cannot come here.

He received a picture of a chocolate bar in return.

They’re coming here. They’re coming. They’re coming and Danny can’t stop it. Can’t stop any of it.

He deletes the messages. Logs out of the website. Clears the history. Takes the paper. Leaves the building. Burns the paper to ash.

Hears a van. Pulls his hood further down over his head. Has to get to the observatory. That was the agreed upon meeting place. Has to get there. Has to hide.

Has to find a way to keep them safe. He’s out of practice. He doesn’t have the upper hand. He’s so scared. Scared for his friends. He gets to the observatory. It’s dark in there. Locked. Danny finds a ladder. Climbs. On the roof. The dome is solid. Cold. Damp. He sits in the shadow of the lens. He waits.

Time moved. Time stood still. Heavy cloud cover meant he couldn’t watch the passage of time in the moon and stars. That was Gotham. Last clear night or day was a long time ago. Danny couldn’t breathe.

Loud footsteps. He pressed himself deeper into the shadows.

“D…?” The voice was familiar. Danny peered out into the darkness, and saw two familiar faces.

“Tuck… Sam…” he croaked, voice raw like he had just spent hours Wailing.

“Hey Danny, good to see you.” Sam sat beside him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. The Fenton Creep Stick laid across her lap. Tucker came to join them, sitting on his other side and rifling around in his backpack. Before Danny could process it, a couple high protein granola bars and a bottle of strawberry pedialyte was put on his lap.

“Eat. Panicking burns calories and you need them.” Tucker insisted, nudging him gently. Already Danny felt the panic subsiding, leaving him exhausted. He ate the protein bars mechanically, forcing himself to focus on the taste and the feel of them between his teeth. He needed the nutrients desperately. After the protein bars were eaten, Danny chilled the bottle of strawberry drink and popped the cap off, chugging it.

“Alright. Now that you’re sort of fed and hydrated, breathe. You know I love the whole dead vibe as much as the next girl, but you’re still half human.” Sam rubbed his leg with her free hand and Tucker rubbed his back. It was soothing and almost involuntarily he took a deep breath in and out, then another, and another. He felt his mind settle. When he could finally think clearly again, he pulled them both close in a hug.

“Ancients, I’ve missed you guys…”

“Us too man. Us too,” Tucker agreed, squeezing Danny back just as tightly.

“Now, not to turn you back onto a doom spiral, but what the hell happened?” Sam asked once they pulled back from the embrace.

“Well, it’s kind of a long story. But I’ll tell you everything.” And Danny did. He started with getting enrolled in school, which they knew, because Tucker helped. Then with the cute guy that befriended him out of nowhere, and although he kept the name to himself, Sam clocked his crush almost immediately.

“It’s okay Danny, I have a radar for that. You were in love with me for how many years now?” She teased. “I am now able to spot a Danny-crush from a hundred yards.”

Tucker laughed with her and Danny groaned putting his head back in his hands. “I hate you so much sometimes…” he moaned.

“Yeah we love you too buddy.” Tucker patted him again. “Keep going with the story.”

He did. The tutoring, the meetings with red hood, and then finally, the week before and that evening. Again he left out the fact that he recognized Hood’s real identity. Sam and Tucker wouldn’t tell, but he couldn’t out another hero in good conscience. Even if they were fighting.

“Shit man.” Tucker scooted himself closer, while Sam did the same on his other side. “That was…”

“I’d rather fight Skulker and Technus together without my powers or a thermos…” he mumbled, pulling his knees to his chest and pressing his face into them.

“Okay. So here’s what we’re going to do. Tucker is going to make sure none of his trip lines have been tripped, I’m gonna make sure no creeps sneak up on us here. You’re gonna take a nap. You look like you’re about ready to drop dead again.” Danny nodded into his knees, and Tucker got out his pda and got to work.

Slowly, Danny’s breathing evened and slowed then stopped almost completely. Having his friends nearby meant he was safe. Safety meant sleep.

Jason was out looking. He started at Danny’s apartment, but he wasn’t answering, there was no sound of movement, the thermals were all ambient, so he moved on.

The longer he looked the more he realized, he barely knew anything about Danny. Danny was great at hedging around questions about himself. Turning the conversation back to Jason, or topics that were safe. The weather, the best places to get burgers, the best type of tree to climb, the best dangerous animal to be freed from the zoo. That last topic was courtesy of Damian but…

Then Jason remembered. They had been eating outside after dark. Danny had looked up at the sky and sighed, then pointed fries accusingly at Jason. “Your dad is like, richer than anyone else here right? He should really do something about all this smog. Seeing the stars at night is one of life’s great pleasures.”

“You could go to the observatory,” Jason had suggested, fairly used to Danny occasionally having ideas for Bruce’s money without any real interest in using it for himself. Always for the betterment of the city as a whole.

“That’s a last resort option. Nothing beats constellation spotting laying on a rooftop. You should be able to see Orion’s Belt over….” Danny looked up at the sky, head shifting as he oriented himself to north and then pointing “over there, somewhere.”

“Well, I’ll bring it up and see what WE has in the works for ecological initiatives.” Jason had said, taken in by how certain Danny was. He could have been bullshitting Jason, but sure enough when he looked it up later, Danny had the right idea, even if he was a few degrees off in his estimation.

Not having any better idea, Jason sped off towards the observatory.

Danny had been asleep for maybe an hour when the motorcycle was heard pulling up. Tucker turned off his modified PDA, the backlight in the screen would have given them away in a heartbeat.

Once the motorcycle turned off though, Sam woke up Danny. He woke with a silent start, looking around to see what had alarmed his friends. When he felt the familiar press of another halfa’s core he pressed a hand to each of their knees and wrote a small smiley face on them. Danny did not miss the way Sam’s grip on the creep stick tightened.

Jason didn’t immediately think anything of the observatory as he circled it. There were two hot spots on the roof that were likely just horny teenagers. He would make his loop and then head off. At least, that was the plan until he spotted the ice cold person shape between the two warmer ones.

Nobody ran that cold except Danny.

Jason stood at the base of the ladder and considered his options. He didn’t know who Danny was up there with. He didn’t know if Danny was in danger. Though the pit in him wasn’t any more riled up than it normally was. He didn’t know if Danny would throw his ass right off the roof. There wasn’t anything around here for him to grapnel onto if he was.

‘I did not know your trip into the pit made you a coward, Todd’ he could hear Damian taunt in his head.

Shaking the thought of his brother off, Jason climbed the ladder. The moment his helmet popped over the roof Danny’s eyes were fixed on him. “Go away J-Hood.”

Jason was momentarily surprised, Danny had obviously not expected him to come in costume, but corrected himself fairly flawlessly. Not outing him to the two people who were holding him protectively. Must be Sam and Tucker.

“I’m not going to hurt you. Are these your friends?” He asked, not moving any further up the ladder. Danny nodded, continuing to glare over his knees.

“Sam and Tucker. They knew me… before everything else.”

Jason nodded. Climbed up enough to get a good look. “I have a safe house nearby. Can we go there and talk?”

“Is more of your little guano group” Sam snickered at the name and Tucker gave Danny a fist bump, “going to hunt me down if I don’t?”

“No. But you’ll want to hear what I have to say.”

Danny looked between his friends for a minute, before slowly uncurling and standing, helping his friends up. “Fine.”

Once they were all on the ground they walked to the safe house, a couple blocks away. Once they were inside, Jason pulled off the helmet.

“Jason Todd. Also known as Red Hood.”

He noticed Sam give Danny a look, and he made a face back at her. Tucker rolled his eyes. “You talk to the Bat?” Danny asked, rather than confront his friend.

“Yeah. But that’s not the important part. After we talked tonight Oracle noticed something. The firewall was an automatic scoop. Anything related to your parents’….hobby got thrown into a…. Technological bucket. It’s why your messages never made it to the League.”

Danny took a step back, and Sam and Tucker automatically moved closer, supporting him. “You…. Heard the messages?”

“There was video too. Of… an attack.”

“Of course those assholes were filming it.” Sam tightened her grip on the creep stick as she spoke. Danny raised a shaking hand to his face, feeling for something. His eyes had gone unfocused.

Damn it. Jason took a step forward and Danny flinched, the air going cold. “Easy D.” Tucker soothed. “You’re in Gotham. We’re gonna go sit.” Sam and Tucker bullied Danny to the couch. Tucker sat next to him, while Sam stood in front of them protectively. When she caught Jason trying to look around her she snapped to get his attention.

“Hey, Danny needs some water. About 35 degrees if you have it that cold, cold as you have otherwise.” The snapping and hyper specific orders placed her in his memory. Samantha Manson. Daughter of the Amity Mansons. They attended a few Galas when she was younger. She was very insistent on her veganism even then.

Jason wasn’t about to argue with a woman holding a bat. If Sam was anything like his brothers, she knew how to use it even before the vigilante training.

He brought Danny water, tap with a couple of ice cubes, and passed it to Tucker, who was still talking quietly to Danny. Danny was nodding and occasionally giving a thin half smile, but was able to hold the glass on his own and sip from it.

“We need a plan.” Danny said after he finished drinking.

“Batman wants to talk to you.” Jason told him, which got Danny opening his mouth to protest.

“First,” Sam interrupted, looking at Danny then at Jason, “Tucker is going to do his checks, Danny is going to sleep, and we are going to wait.”

“I don’t need to sleep.” Danny crossed his arms, protesting.

“And Dash didn’t shove you in a locker at least once a week.” Tucker’s response was combined with an eye roll. “You look like you just went a dozen rounds with Skulker without your powers. You need pizza rolls and a nap.”

“You make me sound like I’m a kindergartener.”

“I think I have pizza rolls.” Jason interrupted the protest. “I’ll kill the lights, make the brat’s pizza rolls for you and you just lay there until they’re done.”

Danny scowled at Jason for hanging up on him but as Tucker slid off the couch onto the floor in front of him, Danny obediently laid down. As Jason pulled the bag out of the freezer and started the oven heating, he watched Danny’s breathing slow down and even out, then stop altogether.

Sam followed his gaze and took Danny’s sleeping form in quickly before peering at what Tucker was doing. Seeing that the people Danny knew the longest weren’t concerned about his lack of visible breathing, Jason settled a bit, texting the family chat.

From J: so I found Danny. But he has backup now. He managed to get in contact with his friends.

From B: Are you on your way?

From J: no. He was freaking out. Right now he’s asleep on the couch and I’m making pizza rolls.

From DB: Excuse me zombie child, those happen to be mine.

From J: Better learn to share now before you learn the hard way like Dickie, Timber and I did.

From B: Jason, please.

From J: what? It’s not a lie. He’s the fourth Robin that we know about.

From DB: I am the best. I will not be replaced.

From R: idk Dami, the new kid has black hair, blue eyes and a troubled past. He’s adoption bait. Hopefully he didn’t lie about his age and really is older than you.

From D: it’s never easy having to hand over the spandex and cape to a younger more dangerous Robin.

From DB: So you admit that I am the best.

From D: no I said you were younger and more dangerous than we were as Robin. Except for maybe Jay. He liked to bite criminals.

From J: hey! They were the idiots who put their hands near my face. I grew up hungry. You eat what you can.

From B: Before this gets more out of hand, Jason, do you know about when you will be arriving?

From J: probably going to leave here in 45 minutes to an hour. I will let you know.

Jason was going to take his time cooking those pizza rolls correctly. He wasn’t going to let them ooze out everywhere, then they would have to cool so when Danny inevitably wolfed them down he wouldn’t scorch his mouth. Allow for some wake up time…

Jason was completely, and understandably in his opinion, giving Danny as much time before the meet the family scene happened. The guy had been through enough.

[seat-safety-switch]

You might not think that the dead of winter, on whatever day it is right now, is the best possible time to enjoy a pickle. That's ridiculous. It is always the best possible time to enjoy a pickle, but especially now. Brine-infused fermented vegetables are one of the greatest inventions of the human race.

Regardless of culture, pickled food is part of it. Ancient titans got, as the modern vernacular would put it, "mad snacky" all the time. Whether working for landlords in a fiefdom, or working for landlords in a modern market-based economy, pickles helped keep them going long enough to pop your ungrateful ass out.

Now, as you walk through the grocery store with an insanely high density of calories available to you, you pass up these pickles for "other food" that you "need." Not enjoying them is to spit in the face of your ancestors, who struggled to stretch their valuable produce in order to survive the winter.

So take it from me and not at all the Pickle Council of North America, whose innovative advertorial campaign is being run by an absolute but mysterious genius. Pick up some fermented fruit or vegetables today, share them with your family and friends, and then buy some more. Because if you stop buying this stuff, maybe civilization will end, and do you really want that on your conscience?

[b1asho]

Second question! (Sorry for the wait, I had a few more days of school… hence, more headache).

What are some traditional dishes from each of the species in Wreck Hounds? And, could you tell us the preferred food items of some of your favourite ocs?

Mm alien food (strictly off limits to humans, but don’t worry we’ve gotten as close as earth stuff is capable of to replicating them, exclusively via printing or growing, tho, not by making new animals. No other species before humans has done this before, mostly because the whole ‘aliens’ thing was newer to us and some scientists got excited about making the whole eating alien foods thing possible)

(I’m doin the other question in a sec my pen died :( )

Moss balls are a popular side dish made by cultivating edible moss around a hard, porous, reusable core. Sometimes they’re cooked but they’re almost always seasoned with something. You eat it by using your iron-reinforced Rossetian teeth to gnaw it off.

The coral on the Kixeli homeplanet is much larger than we’re used to, and this includes the polyps. Some species have larger growths on their colony that are “fruit”, intentionally exposed and meant to be eaten by other animals so their eggs can be moved elsewhere in the ocean (as part of a way to compete with all the other corals who kinda spit their stuff randomly all over the water). These are usually the ones that are eaten by Kixeli because they’re big, easy to get, colorful, and even taste different than the other polyps. Grilling them is actually a new thing because they now have much more access to plentiful flammable stuff/cooking devices, unlike back home where that was a rarity.

Prectikar are part of an animal group of ‘milk’ producing, feathered hexopods. They don’t have dedicated nipples and instead sweat it from the skin in specific areas, and some of them do it in different ways. The animal pictured makes a substance on the hump on its back that congeals quickly into a ‘wax’ once secreted, which the babies clinging to its back can lick off at leisure. It can also be harvested via scraping it off and cured into a cheese. Prectikar are also big fans of meat, nuts, etc due to their high calorie needs.

Cerest eat a lot of mass-produced heavily processed stuff because that’s what’s the easiest to produce and distribute to their large populations. Smallish invertebrates are the easiest to farm so are usually the go to choice. As I’ve mentioned before, food for Cerest is usually an indicator of class, so whether you’re a rectangle or a triangle determines whether you get some actual animal with your unseasoned cube and mash.

Muttreazik eat whatever food is from the biosphere of what their host was. However, they sometimes have different needs (such as being carnivorous instead of omnivorous, or being very large) that can make sourcing food harder.

[hedonists-den]

POV: We’re roommates and I’ve finally had it with your fatass behaviors after you help yourself to my chocolate. I let a lot of pent-up frustration out on you before realizing that there’s only one fitting consequence for your greed.

⚠️ Heavy fat-shaming ⚠️

TRANSCRIPT:

[distant] You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

Did you take my truffles? You did, didn’t you? I can see the wrappers right there! I can’t fucking believe this…I put up with a lot from you, but blatantly stealing my food? Aren’t you fat enough as is? I mean you’ve already broken three office chairs—two of which I carried inside, by the way—but noooo, you’ve got to have my chocolate. 

Those truffles are the only things I allow myself at the end of the week, you know that? You know how hard I work to keep my diet in check? All the calorie tracking, exercising, and meal planning I have to do? No, you couldn’t possibly understand. You don’t try hard at anything. You don’t even know what self-control means. All you do is sit around all day, stuffing your fat fucking face and getting high. 

I’m being mean? That’s all you have to say to me? No apology, no “I’ll pay you back for it,”? Are you serious? Well how’s this for mean: You’re a fucking embarrassment. You’re a shameless fat blimp of a human being that only exists to consume. You’re no better than livestock, grazing on whatever it can because its only value is how fucking fat it is. The only difference is that you have at least a modicum of self-awareness to know how completely helpless and useless you are.

How much effort does it take to heave your fat ass up from that chair? Gotta get some momentum going before you can actually stand up? Go ahead. Try to lug yourself to your feet without grunting and struggling. [...] Yeah, that’s what I fucking thought. I’m shocked that you were able to even make it to the pantry to take my chocolate after such a pathetic attempt. That must be why there’s always piles of dishes stacked up in here, too. You’re too fucking lazy to even take them into the kitchen. I always have to clean up after these goddamn feasts of yours or else I’ll never have any dishes for myself. 

Fucking hell, when I signed up to be your roommate, I absolutely did not sign up for this. You at least had some decency when I moved in, so what the hell happened? Did you lose some fucking bet? Or did you just wake up one morning and decide that you were going to be a lazy, fat pig? What kind of degenerate shit did you—ugh, for fuck’s sake, pull your goddamn shirt down…your fucking gut is spilling out… That’s fucking disgusting… Nothing you’re wearing right now even fits! Your fat is just…oozing out of everything… I can’t believe you look like this and still you justify to yourself that you need my candy on top of everything else you shovel into your mouth. Just… No, you know what? You don’t want to apologize? You want to be a fatass? To live in this offensively obese body that you’ve ruined?

[unwrapping candy] Then eat. Eat, you fucking pig. You wanted my candy? You’re going to have it. Every single piece, and then some. You’ll never be any smaller than you are right now. I’ll make sure of it.

Oh no, no, no, you don’t get to stop now. Open up, fatty. You’re done when I say you’re done.

[bighungrywolf]

There are preds who, when they find a partner, try to follow a normal diet, leaving aside the consumption of other human beings in order to fit in with their boyfriend. However, the amount of calories and protein their bodies need are so high that to compensate they need untold amounts of protein and pounds and pounds of food, which they will consume as simple snacks. If your partner is a pred and has left that lifestyle behind for you, watch out, because even if he loves you very much and doesn't even think about consuming you, any day he doesn't have enough protein on hand and his body goes into caloric deficiency, his true self will come to light, consuming whoever he has more at hand. So you'd better spend all your salary on keeping your boyfriend's appetite in check, otherwise he'll end up falling into his old habits of grabbing whatever prey he can get his hands on without being able to control his instincts.

[spottysnail]

Assorted Deathwitches. She's the witchiest of my witches. She enjoys beating other witches up, and has a frighteningly high win-rate. She's also a fucking wreck of a human being, having been raised in a cult for most of her shitty childhood. Cinderwitches are almost always pure fire witches. That doesn't mean they're completely about destructive magic, fire has a lot of other uses. They make great alchemists, too. They're a beacon for fire spirits.

She's got good friends now to keep her fiery personality in check. Dee is also very, very protective of people she cares about... even if she's a bit difficult to be around. You get used to her. She's mostly deaf and completely mute. Her body gets so hot when using magic that she has to remove her hearing aids. She needs fire proof clothing, but never bothers to wear any... so uh... High powered fire magic consumes a lot of energy, and Dee will absolutely empty your fridge if left unchecked. The good news is they are also immune to a lot of normally lethal material high in calories. Yes, that does indeed mean you need to keep her away from rocket fuel.

[bigification]

Malleable

Experiment: Testing human bodies malleability for potential species transformation.

Notes: Human was abducted from pool in the human country of Saudi Arabia. Subject has an average human build, tan skin, and more hair than the average male human. Subject will be kept in simulation of a pool to reduce stress on the humans mind.

Test Subject 1

Species: human

Weight: 180 pounds

Height: 5"10

Age: 27

Race: Arab

Experiment 1: Muscle growth

Notes: Subject will be given a muscle growth agent, as well as some hormones that may help ease the human body through its transformation. Subject will be kept in simulation of their home for comfort.

Subject has responded well to muscle growth. Muscle has grown mostly in chest, arms, and legs, consistent with proportions of muscle in the average male human. Added hormones have increased the subjects body hair significantly, primarily in the subjects face. Hormones have also slightly affected height and age of subject.

Species: human

Weight: 250 pounds

Height: 6"2

Age: 30

Race: Arab

Experiment 2: Racial change

Notes: Subject will be given an agent to change their genetics from Arabic to American. An American department store has been selected for maximum comfort.

Results are not as expected, but experiment is still a success. Subject has been transformed from an Arab male human to an average American male human. Subjects skin has lightened to a pale beige colour, and majority of their body hair has fallen out. Also, the subjects genitalia decreased slightly in size. These changes are suspected to be caused by change in genetics during transformation.

Species: human

Weight: 250 pounds

Height: 6"2

Age: 30

Race: Caucasian

Experiment 3: Fat growth

Notes: Subject will be given a large dose of calories to significantly increase body fat mass. We have observed that fat gain can often be stressful among humans, so subject will be kept unaware of fat gained for maximum comfort.

Subject has reacted well to high dose of calories. They seem unaware of their high body fat percentage. Fat has concentrated primarily in the stomach, with some in the chest, arms and legs, which is consistent with fat distribution in the average human male.

Species: human

Weight: 359 pounds

Height: 6"2

Age: 30

Race: Caucasian

Experiment 4: Hair growth

Notes: Since subject has lost majority of their body hair, we will test their ability to grow it back. Subject will be given a mixture of hormones to help the body grow hair. The subject will be given larger clothes for maximum comfort.

Subject has reacted well to mixture of hormones. Subject has grown an amount of body hair comparable to their body before experiment 2. Although, the hair is a brown colour, when it was a black colour previously. This is suspected to be a side effect of racial change. Other side effects of the hormones is a deeper voice, slight change in fat distribution, and increase in generalist size.

Species: human

Weight: 350 pounds

Height: 6"4

Age: 30

Race: Caucasian

Experiment 5: Age progression

Notes: The human body has been observed to change drastically while aging. The subject will be given an aging agent. Subject will be given clothes that have been observed an older human for maximum comfort.

Not as much changed in the human body as expected. The body hair turned a light grey, the fat distribution has concentrated in the stomach and chest, and the subjects skin has become dry and spotted. Also the subjects seems to have lost muscle mass and gained fat mass during the aging process, we have yet to discover whether this is normal in aging male humans.

Species: human

Weight: 330 pounds

Height: 6"0 Age: 60

Race: Caucasian

Experiment 6: Species transformation

Notes: Human subject has been deemed to be malleable enough for species transformation. Subject will be exposed to a fungus from the fungus forests on the home planet. Subject will be placed in an average sillian household for maximum comfort.

Subject has completed the species transformation without problems. Facial features have changed significantly to match those of a male sillian. Subject has grown two extra limbs, a large amount of body fat and muscle mass, and body hair comparable to the average male sillian. Fat has concentrated in chest, stomach, and legs, consistent with an average sillian. Muscle has concentrated in the arms, legs, and chest to optimize the subject utility in battle. Subjects genitalia have increased in size to match the average male sillian. Intelligence has also increased to that of an average sillian soldier and subject now comprehends English, Arabic, and Sillian.

Species: sillian

Weight: 1240 pounds

Height: 12"4

Age: 132

Race: N/A

This concluded the laboratory report on the malleability of the human body. We will continue to transform their male human into loyal Sillian soldiers in an attempt to outnumber their troops for the next invasion.

[pokebiologist]

Why can Swirlix float in the air but Slurpuff can't? I find it curious, because the same thing happens with Milcery and Alcremie!

This is a great observation!

It follows with a larger trend across many species. Pre-evolved Pokémon, which tend to be small and perhaps not especially tough in battle, are often prey for larger Pokémon even if they themselves are a predator organism. This is especially true for Swirlix and Milcery, who are of very high value in their food webs due to their incredibly high calorie content. It is to their advantage to have the ability to quickly escape predators, either by hiding, running quickly, or moving to an environment where most of their particular threats cannot follow. For these two, the air is a great place to escape. Most avian Pokémon lack the enzymes that are required to break down the types of sugars and fats that comprise the bodies of Swirlix and Milcery, respectively, and thus are disincentivized to prey upon them.

Upon evolving, both Alcremie and Slurpuff have the firepower (so to speak) to contend with potential threats more directly. They do not need to escape up off the ground anymore, which has freed them up over time to become physically denser and grow both their defensive and offensive capacities. This has accelerated in the past couple of centuries, as both evolutionary families have developed close bonds with human communities as mutualistic working companions. Recent historical analyses have shown that domestic lineages of Slurpuff in particular have grown by a considerable percentage over the past 150 years.

-Thea

[serpentface]

What’s the behaviour of salutachin dogs like, and how analogous to irl small breed(?presuming) pet dogs? Do they have a particular cultural position beyond just a utilitarian one as livestock?

Here's what a salutachin looks like

(This one is a neutered male fattened for eating, one on a more natural diet would have a distinctly sloping chest).

They have by far the most standardized look of any dog type in this region due to strict prevention of breeding with other dogs, and the meat dog type altogether being saved from the extinction from a relatively small gene pool. Almost all have a fawn coloration with a melanistic mask, pointed ears, a long curving tail, and a fairly compact build. Typically, only the males are eaten, any that will not be used as studs are neutered at a young age for better meat quality.

There's no outright companion breed here (this might be a retcon), dogs kept strictly as companions tend to be hunting dog types (or sometimes adopted from friendly street/village dogs). Contemporary hunting dog types developed primarily through breeding the greyhound-esque Burri hunting dog with the a Somewhat basenji-esque native ancestor. The latter type has been almost completely driven extinct via breeding (some more intact descendants exist in isolation, but not enough that a breeding population can be formed), and the salutachin is actually its closest relative and physically resembles it.

So like they're very different. The average pet/hunting dog today can look like pretty much anything on a spectrum between Hippiti and a chin-tsimouna (though is usually going to be smaller than the latter, which is a grouping of big LGD types. A hunting dog's weight is going to be anywhere between 40-70 lbs on average).

These hunting/companion dogs generally have experienced selective breeding for traits useful in hunting (and have high prey drives), responsiveness to human commands, and human sociability, but their personalities can vary as much as any other dog.

Whereas the salutachin is fairly small (a fattened animal can hit 40 lbs, one with a natural diet would be in the 20-30 lb range). They need to be Comfortable around humans, but have experienced little selective pressure for human sociability or responsiveness to commands. They're kept in enclosed pastures (often among other livestock) and have low prey drives, and tend to be friendly and mesh well with other dogs.

If you adopted a salutachin as a pet, it Could be an okay companion animal if you socialize and train it well, but it will be a very difficult dog to train to begin with. Most are not going to be particularly cuddly or playful with humans. It will also be likelier to develop fear-aggression behavioral issues in general, particularly if it's kept without other dogs. It would be more dangerous than average around children without careful socialization and introductions.

The salutachin is the only remnant of a much wider span of meat dog types. Several developed partly or wholly independently. The people who first settled here brought dogs with them, which probably would have been eaten opportunistically but not as a standard practice. The animals had utility as assistants in hunting and herding, and guarding livestock/villages/homes/children.

The practice of very intentional rearing of dogs for meat probably started with eating unneeded offspring of your working dogs around weaning age, then keeping them longer for a larger carcass. Taboos surrounding consumption of meat eaters appear to be Very ancient and nearly ubiquitous (though varied in their nuances) to all proto-Wardi groups, and dogs destined for consumption post-weaning were probably fed on vegetarian diets from very early on (both rendering them clean for consumption, and also improving the flavor). Outright FATTENING a dog on plant matter requires use of the higher calorie plants vital for human survival, so this practice took hold most strongly in groups that adopted settled agriculture that could generate enough excess to warrant this.

These groups would have developed more in-depth cultural practices surrounding this. No other livestock is fed this way, these dogs are special in warranting the sacrifice of food needed for the human community. These dogs would start to become distinct, no longer just excess animals that you might as well eat, but a wholly separate stock. 'Dog used for meat' becomes a distinct Type of dog rather than merely a Use for a dog. This is the beginning of a genetically distinct and semi-isolated line of livestock dogs (though this can only go so far in a world without spaying). And putting all this investment into an animal purely destined for slaughter (offering no milk or wool) contributed to them sometimes having special statuses where they occurred. (Though this was not ubiquitous, in some cases they would have just been a source of tasty meat and ascribed the baseline cultural value of any livestock).

Historically, this special status appears to have mostly surrounded funerary practices. Some older proto-Wardi cremain graves (mostly those in the west) would have the skeletons of dogs with clear evidence of butchery, they would have been killed at funerals so that their spirits can guide the dead, and then eaten (rather than cremated themselves, as is the practice for contemporary funerary guide dogs). Old effigies of neutered male dogs (heavily suggesting them to be livestock) appear to have been used as spiritual guardians for children, and the dogs themselves may have done this work as well prior to being harvested.

The historical record for dog eating is most complete for the Wardinae tribe, who did not use them for funerals but rather as sacrificial offerings at weddings in hopes of securing the newlywed's fortune and fertility. The Wardinae developed their meat dogs semi-independently, and they started out as individuals selected from the hunting dog landrace stock to be reared exclusively for this purpose. This tribe's early history (post-separation from the Cholemdinae) was tumultuous and a struggle for survival- they were a small group of semi-nomadic but seasonally settled agriculturalists, constantly under threat by more established and populous settled agriculturalists and almost wiped out more than once. The high investment of good grain into these dogs for the relatively small reward of One 35ish lb carcass made them one of the best offerings there was in this context, it was a pure giving-back of a bounty they struggled to maintain. Offering it in sacrifice suggested hope for the future, that all this investment was not in vain. In this spirit, it was perfect for a wedding. Unlike most sacrifices in the contemporary religion, these were eaten (though the flesh was exclusively reserved for the newlyweds, and much of the usable parts of the carcass would have been wholly given up in offering).

The importance of this dog diminished with the Wardinae eventually becoming quite powerful and established themselves. These dogs gradually became livestock rather than special individual offerings, and began to be bred separately from the hunting dogs from which they derived. They still retained utility as sacrificial offerings and as a fixture of wedding feasts, but their significance diminished in league with the diminishing gravity of this investment of nutrients.

The concept of at least some (if not all) dogs being spiritually unclean animals, or at the very least unsuitable for eating, is fairly old. Not all proto-Wardi groups or other native peoples here had this practice to begin with. Imperial Burri occupation (specifically the Second period of occupation) is what ultimately killed the practice throughout most of its range. Dog meat (and those of some other specific animals) was regarded as inherently unclean and its consumption and sale was outright banned. The fact that most proto-Wardi societies already considered at least Some dogmeat unclean (and the fact that dog was never a staple by any means) made this more easily accepted than other imposed dietary bans (horsemeat and milk was also considered unclean in the Imperial Burri sphere, the attempted bans of which were significantly more devastating and fought more intensely).

In this process, a lot of meat dog lineages went extinct (or rather reintegrated into the dog gene pool at large). Those who used these dogs as funerary guides could still sacrifice A dog without eating it. Some people of course continued this practice in secret, but it became more difficult, and the stock became more diluted (and thus inappropriate to eat even under purely native food taboos). The practice gradually died out throughout most of the region.

It survived in South Wardin largely due to the Wardinae tribe's special favoring of the dog as food for weddings. The practice was carried on in secret at very large scales, enough that a small and (mostly) undiluted breeding population could be maintained throughout this time, and could rebound once this prohibition was lifted. The salutachin is derived from these dogs.

It's still a mainstay for South Wardi weddings in the present day. It is no longer used as an animal sacrifice (the best blessing of a wedding is offering a yearling cow who has never been bred or yoked to Ganmache), but still carries connotations of celebrating life and expressing a hope for the couple's future. It's just that it's largely lost the reason Why these connotations exist to begin with, it's kind of just a Thing You Eat At Weddings To Celebrate The Future.

All this aside, it's also considered a delicacy and very tasty to most palates. It's tender and very fatty dark meat, kept from being all that gamey due to the animal's vegetarian diet and the male dog being neutered. It's mostly consumed roasted fresh or aged, and can also be cured and smoked like a ham.

The only provinces in which it is eaten (at a more than incidental scale) is Wardin and Erubinnos, and it's somewhat of a source of Imperial Wardi intracultural tension and sniping. The western provincial subculture has significantly stronger taboos against All dog meat, and a lot of people there consider salutachin eating to be an unfavorable relic from heathen times, with some decrying it as an outright ''barbaric'' practice that should be eliminated. Having the latter opinion very strongly is a bit of an outlier (most will concede that a dog of pure stock fed EXCLUSIVELY on plants is not technically an unclean meat, but like, GrossYucky) but this divide has been known to make some weddings reallllll awkward.