#high calorie humans

[robichuwu]

[theartingace]

Idea: orchard harvester saddle. More of a standing platform with a scooter handlebar for the rider where the centaur can hand things up and down. (playing Farming Simulator is making me crave more peaceful/agricultural world building; there's already so much Warlike WB around, it needs some balance)

(also, eat like a horse vs eat like a bird, horse metab is high efficiency but a lot of it just due to net size, imagine that efficiency applied to refined grains and breads. Centaur diets would be less-per-weight than humans, although not necessarily by much due to the metabolic needs of sapient brain and foretorso)

Ohhhh I absolutely love this and absolutely think it should be a thing. I've been thinking more about the inherent benefits of centaurs in an agrarian society and more and more the borders of the Merchant city has been expanding outward towards the edge of Rider territory with enormous matriarchal farm towns that feed most of the surrounding societies so this would fit right in to that kind of lifestyle! And sounds so useful! One doing the moving and loadbearing, one doing the climbing and picking.

And I agree, war shapes societies undeniably but so many worldbuilders forget that trade, craft and industry shape cultures and societies just as much! It's definitely a topic i could GO OFF about haha, I have major exports and interrelated trade agreements drawn up between ALL my current societies 😁

(also absolutely, the use of refined grains and bread was a huge part of my initial thoughts about how centaurs could survive feeding that big horse body with comparatively small/limited human teeth. The efficiency of processed grain and grass fibers would be SO necessary to their digestion and overall survival!)

[habitual-creatures]

Hey Mx. H, question:

What’s your favourite part of the human body to eat? I’m very curious :p

(Also OOC- you’re cool have this 🫴🏻🌹)

IT DEPENDS...

FOR ACTUAL FOOD, FOR MEANINGFUL NUTRITIONAL QUALITY... I FIND THE THIGHS, UPPER ARMS, OR ORGANS (ESPECIALLY THE LIVER OR LUNGS) TO BE BEST...

HOWEVER, I LIKE TO THINK OF MYSELF AS A ROMANTIC...

SO I READILY ADMIT THAT MY FAVORITE PART FOR A... PERSONAL DINING EXPERIENCE IS PROBABLY THE HEART.

IT CAN BE SO BEAUTIFULLY CARVED OUT TOO... WHERE YOU CAN KEEP THEM ALIVE LONG ENOUGH TO WATCH THEM REALIZE WHAT YOUR GOAL IS... YOU CAN FEEL THEIR PULSE SPEED UP AS YOU GET CLOSER TO REMOVING IT FROM ITS CAGE...

IT'S INTOXICATING.

[ REGARDS, HABIT ]

(( gwahhh- thank you for saying you think I'm cool!!!! :'DDD I'm really not, I'm just a goober. And thank you for the digital rose!!! *I left a rose. /ref* sorry btw if this ask is really triggering in any ways to anyone... cannibalism is bad but so fascinating to hear about. :']] I'm weird so I know a lot about it. ))

[ilovecryoffearsm]

Fuck everyone i wanna walk out of my room naked and just do whatever the fuck i want but these nasty greasy old pigs are in my fucking living room instead of going on a walk that their fatasses need kill ypurself oh my goodness gracious no playlist seems to put feminine rage jnto words and i think im experiencing that rn cause j feel a bunch of other shit but i don't know what i am if im woman or not or whatever the fuuu TV g i fud fuck jdjcbxwudbrhec eycsibc i hate this

[bambroot]

TIL I'm a high calorie human. I prefer to call myself a food enthusiast.

[highprettybabyy]

Pregnancy Problems

pregnant!wanda x servicetop g!p r

summary: wanda experiences some issues during the pregnancy, but you’re always happy to help

Warnings: SMUT! also lotta fluff, morning sickness, swearing, self image issues, body dysmorphia, face sitting (r receiving), lots of praising, petnames, cunnilingus (w receiving), (slight) overstimulation, crying during sex (from how good it feels/overstimulation), fingering (w receiving), creampie/breeding kink, reader has a penis

AN: Wanda and R are married + please be mindful, im not experienced in writing, let alone writing smut lol

word count: 5k

—//—

Wanda was about 2 months along by now, the hellish start of the morning sickness phase. It was 4 in the morning when the little ones made a fuss, Wanda immediately being forced out of the warm cocoon you had created with the sheets to run to the bathroom. She nearly missed the bowl when everything that was in her stomach violently came out.

This was becoming a nightly habit, one that was really fucking with her mentally and physically. Since two weeks ago she's been sleeping horribly. Some mornings were fine, she’d only have a slight stomach ache, and some were worse, like this one, where she would probably stay in the bathroom until high noon.

She had given up on waking you at every slight issue. You were always pleased to help, offering reassurance and comfort as she needed it, but she thought that there was no reason for you both to lose sleep over this. However, that didn’t stop your stubborn ass from finding her on the bathroom floor, softly pulling her hair into a ponytail and slowly running comforting circles on her back while you whispered reassurances and praise.

She ended up having a very long morning, the sun having already come up while she was still emptying her stomach contents into the bowl. You had grabbed her water, massaged her shoulders, cleaned her face with a damp cloth, changed her into new clothes, and asked if she wanted to try eating something. She declined but knew that you would ask her hourly at the minimum, stating that she is growing a whole human inside of her and needs enough energy and calories to do so.

The afternoon rolled around when Wanda started feeling a tad better. You were able to move from the bathroom to the couch, huddled next to each other watching sitcoms, Wanda laid sideways in your lap as you ran a comforting hand wherever you could reach, mostly massaging her scalp and neck. There was a large mixing bowl on the table in front of you, just in case something were to happen, but Wanda had not thrown up in a while by now so hopefully the worst had passed.

“Baby?” You asked, fingers still running through gorgeous auburn locks. “Hmmm” The witch answered, shifting her eyes away from the television to look at you. “Can I make you some tea? And do you feel like trying to eat something now or do we need to wait a little longer?”

Wanda saw the look in your eyes, the one where all your anxieties bubbled to the surface, scared that somehow Wanda would collapse from malnutrition and sleep deprivation or other things. She really, really did not feel like eating something, but you've been knawing at the inside of your cheek for the past 15 minutes and she was getting scared you'd chew a hole through.

"I'd actually love some tea, thank you detka." You perked up as Wanda lifted her head from the comfortable position on your lap so you could get up. You gave her a quick peck on the lips before basically sprinting to the kitchen to make her beloved tea with extra honey.

While the kettle was heating up the water, tea bag and honey already in her favourite mug, you were scavenging the kitchen for possible snacks. You grabbed a big plate to hold all the various items of food. You didn't know what she would be in the mood for, so you settled on half the kitchen. A couple of grapes, half of a banana, some chocolate chips, a dollop of peanut butter, a few popcorn kernels, some crackers, pretzels, blueberries, and of course a single dill pickle.

After everything was done you returned to your darling Wanda on the couch. "What's all this Y/N/N?" Wanda's eyes flew open when she saw the plate. "Just a little snack if you wanted something.. Here's your tea love." Wanda grabbed the mug from you with a smile as you put the plate down in front of her. You weren't going to force her (yet) but this way she would have the option if she wanted to.

You sat down next to her again and kissed her temple, arm wrapped snug around your wife as she laid her head on your shoulder. Wanda pretended to not have noticed your internal exclamation of joy when she silently sipped her tea and ate a single cracker.

-

Wanda was crying again as she tried on her sweatpants, which would not fit anymore. She was 5 months pregnant now with your beautiful twin boys and her hormones were going absolutely haywire. One second she was so happy and radiant, the next furious and bawling her eyes out.

"Y/N they won't fit anymore, I've become a giant cow, how could you ever love me like this??" She sobbed in front of the mirror. Upon hearing her words you quickly sprinted to her. "Baby no, don't say that you are beautiful just the way you are. You are carrying our babies Wanda, that's no simple job, your body is just adjusting to the change that's all.." You were really hoping you said the right thing, you didn't want to upset her further, but when she suddenly looked at you with anger in her eyes, you flinched away momentarily.

She pointed her finger at you, poking your chest. "Youuu. You did this to me! With your stupid charming face, and those stupid beautiful fucking eyes, and your stupid caring personality!" You did not know whether to be scared or happy. She was complimenting you but she was also angry. "I'm sorry Wanda"

"God, this is exactly what I mean, you absolute doofus!" Wanda was still angry, having crossed her arms and puffing out whilst she stood there almost half naked in front of you. But those y/e/c eyes just looked at her with guilt and concern.

"You are so fucking frustrating sometimes Y/N" She muttered as she slammed her lips against yours, devouring you. You immediately returned the gesture, grabbing her waist to pull her closer to you, then fully wrapping your arms around the shorter woman, enveloping her completely in your embrace. You were really possessive of her lately, not that you'd ever show it besides small gestures like this, but Wanda was enjoying every second of it.

Wanda moaned into your mouth and every passing second you could feel your pants getting tighter and tighter as she tried grinding against you. "Please, please Y/N." She begged between kisses, overwhelmed with a sudden desperation for you. "Pleaaaseeeehh" She whined out. "What baby love, tell me what you want gorgeous." You breathed out, starting to attack her neck with your lips. "Anything, give me anything and everything, pleaseee Y/N - please"

Your eyes darkened upon hearing her words, "Yeah, you'd let me do anything and everything?" Wanda grabbed your face, nodding while kissing you, "Please"

You walked backwards until you felt the back of your bed, falling down and (carefully) bringing Wanda down with you, your lips never leaving her. Wanda straddled you, bringing her hips down to grind down on the enormous tent in your pants, which caused you to let out a strangled moan. "You wanna ride me baby, how bout you ride my face first?"

Wanda slowed down at that, "No, I'd crush you." You looked at her as sternly as you could (which wasn't all that intimidating tbh) "If you really don't want to, that's ok, but if you're only hesitant because you think I'd suffer? Honey, I could never suffer between your legs, that would probably be the most ideal way to go, I'd already be in heaven -" Wanda rolled her eyes and shoved her tongue in your mouth to shut you up. "Fine." She huffed. "But tell me if you can't handle it anymore."

You smirked, but bit your tongue and simply nodded as an answer, stroking her sides and upper thighs to work her back up again, which worked amazingly as Wanda desperately moaned in your mouth. You laid down and gently pushed her up towards your face until you were looking at her black panties. You decided it would be too tedious to pull them down now, so you pushed them to the side as you bewondered the sight above you.

You softly moaned as you spread her open, seeing the arousal leak out and everywhere, running your thumb every so lightly across her clit. "Oh baby you don't even know how gorgeous you are, just look at this oh my g-" Too impatient to complete your sentence you simultaneously lifted your head while pulling Wanda down harshly, your head falling back on the bed as you forced Wanda all the way down on your face.

"Aaah- ah - ah- oh! oooh" Wanda was a sputtering, moaning mess, your tongue ravaging her completely, running through her folds, inner thighs, everywhere you could reach. Wanda was having a hard time keeping her stability, legs jerking around your head, only still upright by strong arms locking her into position. Even though she was pretty sure you hadn't taken a breath since the start of your assault, Wanda felt like you were suffocating her with how unrelenting you were. She could almost let out a sob, until you finally took a breath. Wanda gasped and moved her hands to her breasts, tugging at the hardened nips.

You took a deep breath "God Wands.. You taste so sweet baby. So good baby, only for me." You groaned out. You held her up a bit as you dragged your thumb through her folds, spreading them lightly. "Look at this perfect pretty pussy, hmm?" Wanda couldn't stop herself from moaning at your words, almost screaming when you slipped your middle finger in her, falling forward on the bed, catching herself on her hands.

You quickly added a second digit after you felt how hard she was clenching around you. Wanda was almost crying at the sensations. You were moving your fingers rapidly now, sloshing sounds resonating through the room, meanwhile softly biting at her thighs, your free hand reaching up to tug at her nipple. Wanda let out a sob. "Are you gonna be a good girl and cum for me gorgeous?"

She nodded, high whines leaving her throat. The tight knot in her lower belly ready to snap at any moment. You quickly placed your thumb on her clit and rubbed tight circles. "Then cum for me princess." Wanda white-knuckled the sheets as she let out a silent scream, legs jerking in tandem from the cum pulsing out of her pussy. She was breathing heavily as she rode out her orgasm, your fingers moving lightly to prolong the feeling.

As Wanda began calming down, you pulled your fingers out and sucked them clean of her juices. Before she could even protest, you pulled her back down again to reseat her on your mouth, immediately starting an unrelenting assault on her sensitive clit. She cried, involuntarily trying to get away, but your grip was far too strong, a tear slipping from her eye at the overstimulation. "Sorry baby, you're so messy, I gotta clean you up."

She quickly passed the threshold of her second orgasm of the evening, you moving from between her legs to lay beside her. You put your left arm around her, pulling her close into you as you ran your other hand over her t-shirt-clad back, trying to calm her down further. "Baby you did so good, so so well for me." Wanda shuddered a bit, placing kisses on your shoulder and upper jaw to assure you that she's ok."

After a while her breathing calmed and she tries to shuffle closer, but her bump gets in the way. So she huffs and rolls over whilst holding your arm to pull it around her. You immediately catch onto her antics, fulfilling her wish and squeezing her tightly. She shuffles closer to you, hips wiggling backwards, as they brush against something hard.

You let out a soft groan and she immediately turned her head, seemingly forgotten that you didn't cum. Your eyes met and you grabbed her jaw to kiss her deeply, both eventually losing your breath. "You didn't cum Y/N?" She breathed out. You chuckled and nuzzled her nose slightly with yours, "I didn't need to, the sight of your pretty pussy rubbing on my tongue was plenty of satisfaction", you finished with a peck on her lips. Like magic, Wanda was furiously turned on again. Eyes hazing over while her lips formed into a pout.

"Please fuck me, Y/N? I need it." You let out a low breath, eyes darkening at her words. "God Wands" You pulled her underwear down to her knees, content leaving it there at the moment, basically locking them in place. The tightness in your pants was almost cutting off circulation, pulling your pants and underwear down slightly to finally free yourself from the fabric prison. You grabbed your cock, giving it some attention and prepping yourself with precum.

"You have no idea what you do to me." You dragged your tip through her soaking folds, lubing your cock with her cum, before entering her. She gasped and reached her hand backwards to entangle in your hair. You groaned, breathing heavily as you resisted from pounding into her, slightly concerned for the babies. She scratched at your scalp lightly to signal that you could move.

You pulled your hips back, before thrusting them forward again, repeating the motion and grunting at each movement. Wanda was moaning too, letting out high wines occasionally, pulling at the roots of your hair. Your little gasps of air in her ear were really turning her on and the feeling of your large cock filling her up was heavenly. You wrapped around her further and reached your hands around to grab at her chest, playing with Wanda’s nipples as you started fucking into your wife faster.

"I'm yours." You grunted. "Say it." Wanda was slightly confused but complied nonetheless "You're mine." "That's right, I'm yours." You went faster and faster, the tight knot in Wanda's stomach tightening rapidly. "Mine." Wanda gasped out. "My pretty wife." You raked your nails lightly across her belly, goosebumps appearing all over her body, before tugging at one of her nipples suddenly. "Ah!"

"Say it. You're my pretty wife." She was almost turning incoherent from how good you were fucking her. "Yo-r prtty wife" You kissed her neck. "You're gorgeous." "I'm gorg-us" You bit at the junction of her neck and shoulder "You're kind." "I'm kind." You trailed your hand down, rubbing her lower belly. "You're compassionate." "'m compass-nate" Before finally settling on her clit, rubbing tight circles again. "You're perfect." "I-I- ah 'm perfECT" she screamed out as she came again, cum creaming around your cock, clenching you so tight that you also came - deep inside of her.

You groaned out " - yeah you are." Slowly fucking your cum back inside of her. You breathed in deeply, inhaling the scent of her conditioner and perfume. Hands moving back up to massage at her ribs. "One more, you got one more for me. You're doing so good gorgeous, one more." You said, moving her into a doggy style position, legs spread wide as she accompanied her pregnant belly in this position.

You were entranced at the sight, cum slowly dripping out of her puffy cunt, hole still pulsating from her last orgasm. "So so pretty for me." You lined yourself up again and thrusted in straightaway, fucking her at an impossible pace. Wanda couldn't hold herself up anymore, her face lying on the bed with her arms crossed in front of her as you pounded into her.

"My pretty, gorgeous, kind, compassionate wife." You lifted your knee up to fuck into her deeper. "So perfect for me yeah" Wanda was left an incoherent blabbering mess, tears stained her cheeks out of overstimulation as you thrusted into her. Yet again she felt the familiar coil tightening, snapping when you told her that you loved her. "I love you Wanda, - I love you, love you, god"

You came deep inside of her again, basically putting another baby in her. She felt so, so full, your cock still inside of her, your cum filling her to the brim, slowly moving back and forth to prolong her orgasm. Eventually you pulled out of her slowly and flipped her on her back. Wanda was sure that your hunger would have been finished by now, but the way your gaze fixated on the cum slowly leaking out of her pussy told her enough.

You looked into her gorgeous green eyes and kissed her softly. "Can I clean you up, baby?" You both knew it was a question whether Wanda could handle another orgasm without passing out, you 'cleaning her up' always ended like that, your tongue as deep as you could in Wanda, listening to her pretty breaths and moans. You were completely insatiable when it came to her. Wanda pulled your face close to hers kissing you while nodding. "Just be gentle now ok? I don't think I can walk again after how you fucked me."

You smiled and nodded, kissing everywhere you could as you started descending towards her pussy. You especially took time in kissing her stretch marks, thankful for the torture her body went through because of pregnancy.

You wrapped your arms around her thighs again, locking her in place, as you delicately started cleaning her up. You licked all the arousal off of her thighs, around her lips, with a featherlight touch. She gasped when you ran your tongue between her folds, dipping down slightly to lick up all the cum, before moving up again and stopping just before her clit. You skilfully cleaned her up, leaving nothing but your saliva behind. Eventually you ever so lightly started including her clit in the process.

Wanda felt like she was floating. She was on a very tall rollercoaster and the cart was slowly moving up. She was in one of those dreams where you know you're about to fall if you dreamt on for a few more seconds.

It all caught her by surprise. Flattening your tongue and putting down just a tad more pressure. She exploded. The cart dropped off the cliff. She was convulsing beyond her understanding, as she laid there, taking anything and everything you gave her. Her legs were fully shaking, entire body trembling in aftershocks of the holy experience you just gave her. She started seeing spots and then promptly passed out.

-

When she awoke a while later, she was already clad in soft pyjamas, pressed tightly against your chest as you held her close, a water bottle, reeses peanut butter cup, and a sliced pear on the nightstand in front of her. You were nuzzling your nose against her hair, breathing in the coconut and distinct smell of Wanda, arms around her body, one of them holding your babies. She moved her hand to hold yours, signalling that she was awake.

"Hi baby, how are you feeling?" You asked her. "Tired." She let out with a chuckle. "Was I too rough with you? Are the babies ok?" Wanda rolled her eyes lightly, you asked this every time, granted this time was just a tad bit more unhinged, but still. "You were perfect." She muttered out, feeling you smile against the back of her head as you pulled her just a bit tighter to you.

"I love you Wands."

"I love you too Y/N."

-

It was officially the stage where you were a panicked mess and Wanda felt the need to nest, reorganising the entire house 3 times over while you were stressed out in the corner watching her because you weren’t allowed to help. Occasionally you managed to convince the stubborn woman to let you take out the garbage, or lift the heavy stuff, but most of the time you were shut down and told to get out of her way.

She was working in the nursery now, having went through every single room in the house already, when she decided that some new accessories were needed, like a table lamp and another rug. You were in your office with the door open, fingers tapping away at the keyboard as you answered a few mails, when your gorgeous wife appeared in the doorway.

“Hi baby, how’s the nursery coming along?” You asked as you got up to greet Wanda with a hug and kiss. “I’m on track, was thinking about getting a lamp and another rug.” “Hmm, another rug?” You questioned, there were already 2 in the room, one underneath each bassinet. “Yeah, one for underneath the rocking chair, next to the bookcase? It would tie it all together, I’m sure, however I’m still on the fence about the colour..”

“How about a forest green? It would match with the other rugs and tie the theme together?” You and Wanda decided on a forest theme for the nursery, you picked out a lovely wallpaper that resembled trees, the colours in the room ranged from green to brown to a golden orange. Hand-carved wooden animals were presented on the shelves that hung beside the large oak dresser, beautiful gifts from Yelena and Natasha that they gifted you when they found out you were expecting. They carved them from the wood from the tree where you and Wanda often went on dates underneath when you still lived at the compound. You cried when they explained it to you. And later when you and Wanda placed them on the shelves, you were sure that they would be the best godmothers to your sons.

“But we already have so much green? I’m not sure..” Wanda dug herself in the crook of your neck and nuzzled the skin there. You kissed the side of her head and ran your hands over her tense back. “Then how about you get some inspiration from the store? You could walk around and see what you think would fit best? Take some pictures from the nursery so you can really visualise it better?” Wanda sighed and agreed, holding you tighter. “Alright, I’m going to the store then really quickly.”

“Can I join you?” You asked while you pulled back a bit. “Actually I wanted to ask you if you could secure the dresser to the wall more? I don’t think just 2 bolts for such a large dresser is safe, what if one of the little ones pushes it over?”

You smiled “Sure honey, anything else?” Wanda smiled up at you cheekily before playing with the drawstrings of your hoodie “Could you vacuum upstairs? If the dresser doesn’t take too long? Please?”

“Of course baby. I’ll try to get to that as well.” You smiled, running your thumbs over her cheeks. “Anything else?” Wanda nodded. “A kiss.” You laughed and pulled her in, fulfilling her wish.

“Alright, I’ll be back in an hour or two, hopefully the traffic isn’t too bad.” Wanda patted your chest while leaving your warm embrace. “Honey wait-!” You jogged after her, “Here.” giving her your wallet.

Wanda rolled her eyes playfully, having long lost this battle. You always insisted you paid for everything, only occasionally letting her when you forgot your wallet (Wanda would hide it before going out). You wanted her to feel secure and egotistically you wanted to be the financial provider. You wanted Wanda to have everything her heart and mind desired without her having to worry about her savings. Plus, the company you ran was really profitable, which allowed you to spend your earnings on your amazing wife who 100% deserves to be spoiled.

She took your wallet, pulling out your debit card. Wanda already had your credit card, but the debit card was designated for groceries and other smaller things. You keep forgetting to get a second one, but after all these years you hadn’t come across a good enough reason to make the trip to the bank, having gotten used to sharing the one.

Wanda leaned up to kiss you as a thanks, before you told her to drive safe and keep you updated while she was gone.

Securing the dresser took you less than 15 minutes, being handy and having a stud finder came in clutch. Vacuuming also didn’t take that long, Wanda having vacuumed that morning while she decided which room to tackle next. You decided that after such a long day a nice romantic dinner and a hot bubble bath would be excellent for your hard working wife.

You smiled, heading to the kitchen first. You rummaged through the fridge, freezer, cupboards, and pantry, letting the ingredients inspire you. An hour later, the nadivka was in the oven and the oxtail stew was simmering on the stove.

You cleaned up the kitchen, tidied up where else you could, decided to set up a little foot massage area at the couch. You were almost sure every chore in the house had been done before you put on FRIENDS and laid down on the couch. Two and a half hours had quickly gone by, before you heard the gravel crackle on the driveway, signalling you that your wife was home. You sprinted to the door to open it. A teary eyed and sleepy pregnant Wanda stood before you.

“Oh bubs, what’s wrong?” You stepped aside to let her in. “They didn’t have the right carpet, or lamp, and traffic sucks, and my feet hurt.” She put down her purse and reached to hug you, which you immediately reciprocated. “Oh I’m sorry, we could look online to see if you like anything?” “Wanda hummed into your chest before inhaling deeply. “Omg detka what’s that smell?” She pushed against your chest lightly, her nose taking her to the origin of the smell. “Malysh… Is that oxtail?? And nadivka?!” She could almost jump from excitement as you nodded, explaining the process. She interrupted you with a kiss. “You cannot believe how much I needed something like this Y/N/N”

You smiled. “I’m glad it made you happy, however the oxtail still needs half an hour, so how about we relax on the couch a bit?” Wanda grinned and grabbed your hand, looking back at you questioningly as she saw the lotion, towel and face mask. You didn’t say anything and just positioned her down on the couch. You lifted her feet, sat down, put the towel over your lap and then gently laid Wanda’s feet on your towel clad thighs.

You grabbed the lotion, before finally looking at your wife to see her looking back at you with all the love in the world. “I love you so much Y/N, but you know you don’t have to do all this for me, right?” You raised your eyebrow, “I know.. but I want to?” You lathered your hands, warming them up before gently massaging her feet.

“It’s just, you do so much. My friends from book club think I’m lying every time I tell them about you.” She laughed while explaining. “I mean, you still do more Wands. You’re creating 2 tiny humans inside of you, from basically nothing. Two little greedy and tiring babies, who take up space without asking and drain you from energy and nutrients. Literally the least I can do is help you and make you the tiniest bit more comfortable.” You explained softly, proceeding to rub out the knots in her feet and calves.

“How did I get so lucky Malyshka?”

“I ask myself that same question every time I look into your eyes, my love.”

-

The delivery was rough. Contractions started at 1 am, and she wasn’t fully dilated until 10 am the next day. You were by her side the entire time doing whatever you could to help. But eventually, Wanda managed to birth the two beautiful baby boys that have been torturing Wanda for the past 9 months.

The entire hospital stay was exhausting, people coming to visit, check-ups from nurses and doctors, the twins themselves.. Everyone was sweet, but you both could use some rest, so when you got home with two car seats in hand, you both took a deep breath in.

They were both sleeping, so you decided to let them as you carefully carried them upstairs, Wanda following with the monitor in hand. She plugged it in, positioned it, then took the receiver with her to the bedroom.

Wanda was exhausted and instantly fell asleep as her head hit the pillow. You followed her in and sat beside her, gently taking the receiver from her hand, stroking a strand of hair behind her ear and kissing her forehead before whispering “Thank you my love.” You took off her shoes and closed the blinds. You then quietly left the room and shut the door.

You unloaded the car, cleaned where you could, put gifts on the table to sort through when Wanda was awake, and changed the twins when they started fussing, taking them downstairs as they fully woke up. Wanda had pumped a lot in the hospital, so you took one of the evening packs to feed to Tommy and Billy.

The twins were fed, burped, and put back to bed by the time Wanda awoke from her 7 hour nap, looking to find you. She headed downstairs, following the soft glow from the candles you had lit after cleaning. You were on the couch feet propped under you, laptop open on the coffee table with a take-away restaurant list open, reading a parenting book while the baby monitor sat beside you on the couch.

Soft arms wrapped around you as Wanda placed a deep lingering kiss on your cheek, softly pecking a few times for good measure. Your voice was gravelly, exhaustion could clearly be heard, “I was thinking we’d order for dinner? If that’s alright with you? You can choose obviously.” Wanda nodded as she moved to lay beside you, picking up the monitor to place it next to the laptop. You placed a bookmark between the pages and moved it to the table, wrapping your arms around your wife as she laid her head on your chest.

“How about sushi?”

—//—

AN: hi pretty reader! hope you enjoyed it :)

<3

[bonefall]

"How big should a Clan territory be?"

For the dozens of people who have asked this over the last couple of years!

This question comes in a lot of forms; "How big are the Clan territories?" "How much space does one Clan need?" "How much land should I give my Clans to exist in?" The answer is a bit complicated, and depends on the type of land, what you're going for exactly, the setting, so on.

But, broadly, there's TWO particular factors at play here; How anthropomorphic you're portraying your warriors, and how productive the land is.

Factor 1: The Anthro Scale

I'm starting with this one because it could you the simpler answer. The Erins write Clan cats like humans in cat bodies, with massive social units and communal living. Realistic feral cats don't act like Clan cats. They are only semi-social, due to domestication.

See, a Clan cat will "share" territory between all of its members, and some Clans have canonically hit populations of over 50 individuals. Real feral colonies consist of "overlapping circles" of somewhere between 2 - 15 cats, most of them related females.

This is relevant because, even in densely populated areas with as much food as they can eat, truly feral colonies will have about 2 cats per 5 acres, capping out at about 15 members. Queens will hang out together and raise their kittens communally, but they will hunt and patrol in their own "circle." These boundaries are violently enforced against outside cats, especially if it's too crowded.

(Toms have circles 5x as big as a queen's, overlapping several territories. They're also considerably less social.)

So, if you wanted to incorporate some cat behavior into your Clan's mindset about how big their territory should be, while still being willing to sacrifice a bit of "realism" for groups over 15-ish members, simply take Clan population and multiply it by 2.5 acres.

30 cats = 75 acres. That's a little under 57 football fields, if you're American, or 50 football fields, if you're European.

Extra reading: How realistic cat territories work. Contains the numbers I'm referencing.

It's also very important to know; feral cat density is completely tied to food availability, the big numbers numbers are for cats whose needs are met. Cats are solitary hunters, and when they feel like they have to work for their food, they become VERY territorial. The density of cats in rural areas can be as low as 1 molly per 15 acres, even lower for toms, and they will leave if hunting is not easy.

THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD NOT FEED FERAL CATS. Please GOD they are SO invasive, please do not give colonies food, they still hunt when they're full so you just end up concentrating a ton of predators in one place. They are not warriors with a law against disrespecting food, they are just kitty cats with silly kitty instincts

I have a suspicion that most of the people who are asking the question aren't really looking for a "realistic cat" answer, though. We LOVE our big cat Clans with their complicated politics around here. You're probably wondering how much land you need to feed your population!

Factor 2: Land Productivity

The exact amount of space is going to vary a lot, because it's more about productivity of the land to sustain a prey population than it is raw size. Remember what we learned back in Warrior Bites: Dietary Needs; a 30-cat Clan will need approximately 3 pounds of meat (10,500 calories) per day, which is about 2 rabbits, or 105 mice.

Here's some visual examples of what I mean. This one (1) acre homestead...

Has 20 patches of high-value crops, plus an orchard, AND livestock pens. This territory alone could attract enough crows, mice, rats, rabbits, and sparrows to feed all those cats daily. That's not even counting the humans themselves, who may be friendly enough to the colony to toss them kibble occasionally.

(this is why cats domesticated themselves. Even without the free food from the humans, farms are extremely productive hunting grounds.)

Meanwhile, the Edmonton Mall, which is a whopping five (5) acres...

Would be utterly barren. Best food you're going to get out of this wasteland is the leftovers humans toss out, and maybe the rats and pigeons that scavenge as well. It's 5x the space, and yet, infinitely harder to feed the same amount of cats.

So, the most helpful bit of advice I'm gonna give you is this; DON'T ask yourself "how big should this territory be?" You're starting with the wrong question. Start with a real location, and think about how you'd find 3 pounds of meat a day in that area.

It will be a LOT easier to think about the logistics in those terms, and this will lead you to the waaay more productive (and fun) worldbuilding questions. Such as;

"Where would the good hunting spots be?"

"What kinds of animals would they be eating? What sorts of beasts can threaten them, here?"

"How many of these animals would my 30 cat Clan need to hunt a day to equal about 3 pounds?"

"Where would these animals be getting THEIR food?"

"Is there enough habitat in the area for the prey to breed and nest? If not, is there more land beyond the territory that the prey is coming from?"

"Where would infrastructure like dens, walls, and dirtplaces go? What would these be made of?"

"Are there any neat spots for the cats to casually hang out on?"

"What would make for a super cool arena for my climactic narrative boss fights?"

"Does this area have unique stage hazards that my cats would have to learn to deal with?"

"Which sorts of plants and herbs would they encounter?"

If your Clan is tool-using, like BB!Clans are, then you can ask even more advanced questions. Like, where you'd find kindle for fire, what objects you can use as crafting materials, and what might make for unique trade goods.

Think about other things related to your Clan's biome-- in a tundra or desert, there will be less for prey to eat, so the territory will be large to cope with the low density. If there's a major body of water, they might have a constant supply of aquatic prey from upstream. Hunting grounds might change based on the seasons.

Also remember not to underestimate how fast small animals breed, and how many of them there can be in one area. Even using low estimates, 1 female mouse has 6 pups, 7 x 6 = 42, 42 x 6 = 252, 252 x 6 = 1,452. It takes only 4 months for mouse population growth to get exponentially ridiculous.

Finally, remember that prey can vary. A well run Clan would be able to generally understand when they've been overhunting one particular species, and start shifting gears to lift the "pressure" off that population.

(In my cultural expansions series, this management task is assigned to one of the new roles-- the Head of Hunting.)

[i-was-today-years-old-when]

i learned why can animals eat each other alive but humans get sick eating raw meat

In Sapiens, Professor Yuval Noah Harari explains the reason. It was an evolutionary bargain. The human brain takes up 25% of the body’s energy. Compare that with 8% in other apes, and lesser in other animals.

Unlike today, the primitive Homo Sapiens did not have easy access to high-calorie food. And maintaining such a big brain took a lot of resources and energy. Our ancestors paid for the evolution of a larger brain in two ways — their muscles atrophied and their intestines got shorter.

It was a very heavy toll for the body to spend energy on digesting food, it was a lot more convenient if the food was somehow already broken down or cooked, reducing the amount of energy spent by the body that went into digesting the food.

And the cooked food saved the body vital energy to evolve the larger brain of Homo Sapiens and Neanderthals.

As such, it became difficult to digest more complex food like cellulose.

Look at our friend Mr Gorilla here, munching on raw bamboo while none of us can eat sugarcane.

That’s why we cook because we simply can not digest most food in the raw form.

And that’s because we have big brains :)

So, thank evolution that we can choose from a range of tasty stuff to eat. ;)

[seat-safety-switch]

You might not think that the dead of winter, on whatever day it is right now, is the best possible time to enjoy a pickle. That's ridiculous. It is always the best possible time to enjoy a pickle, but especially now. Brine-infused fermented vegetables are one of the greatest inventions of the human race.

Regardless of culture, pickled food is part of it. Ancient titans got, as the modern vernacular would put it, "mad snacky" all the time. Whether working for landlords in a fiefdom, or working for landlords in a modern market-based economy, pickles helped keep them going long enough to pop your ungrateful ass out.

Now, as you walk through the grocery store with an insanely high density of calories available to you, you pass up these pickles for "other food" that you "need." Not enjoying them is to spit in the face of your ancestors, who struggled to stretch their valuable produce in order to survive the winter.

So take it from me and not at all the Pickle Council of North America, whose innovative advertorial campaign is being run by an absolute but mysterious genius. Pick up some fermented fruit or vegetables today, share them with your family and friends, and then buy some more. Because if you stop buying this stuff, maybe civilization will end, and do you really want that on your conscience?

[b1asho]

Round one of the species introduction!!!!

Prectikar Master Post:

Here's some info on them, and if you want to see some other drawings I've done of them (albeit some occasionally older n crustier ones), check out my deviantart: https://www.deviantart.com/blasho

Anyway let's get into a terribly long string of paragraphs about some of their info:

Prectikar are a large sentient species, usually standing at around 8-9 feet tall when fully upright and weighing anywhere close to or upwards if 1000 pounds

They are covered in feather-like fur (or is it fur-like feathers? They're occasionally branched like feathers, and all have quills, but some are more hairlike) due to the cold climate they evolved in, though length and thickness of it now varies by region.

They are omnivorous, and while they have many traits to help them hunt and kill, most of their diet tends to be plants.

Originally rush-down predators, they use their considerable strength to move in quick bursts and their specialized tusks to either ram prey to death or gouge into it as they grapple it.

Their jaw strength is also insane,with their skull actually sacrificing brain space in favor of it, which helps them eat pretty much anything they come across. They pay a lot of attention to food and cooking because of their high calorie needs and very sensitive nose/tongue.

They have manganese as an oxygen carrier is a result of the scarcity of other metals in their environment and potentially because of its general affinity for oxygen.

This causes their blood to be an amber/orange brown and shades of pink depending on its exposure to oxygen.

Through a network of cooperative bonding and other adaptations (like better oxygen retention in muscles and the easily carried size and longevity of the molecule) they’ve managed to bring this manganese transport molecule close to hemoglobin in terms of effectiveness, though they can also make use of manganese’s catalyst properties to temporarily push it to bring lots more oxygen to their tissues at a time (used for short bursts of speed and strength that allow them to take down large prey and plants for food).

their large body size (selected by their colder environment) lets them use their own high body heat to keep the O2 fixation and liberation going in their highly effective lungs.

An extensive understanding of their internal chemistry is unknown (aka gatekept by their colonizers/"uplifters" who ill get to later) but it seems like they also have a network of bacteria in their body just to manage the more reactive and damaging oxides that form, and to remove/convert the spent manganese into connective tissue and aid in bone maintenance.

They have higher calorie needs from keeping up the body temp and recycling/removing all that stuff, alongside just being big in general. Alongside a lot of sleeping, they also basically just eat all the time (compared to other species) to compensate, though their mammal-like fat retention and other metabolic adaptations for scarcity mean that they can handle long periods without resources(though this causes increasingly compounded problems for them)

Some other downsides include low tolerance of changes in oxygen levels (particularly low) and temperature levels, and poor adaptation to environments outside of their biosphere/without all the microorganisms since these things upset their delicate balance.

(part of why so many tribes were nomadic was/is to chase temperate and ‘warm’ seasons, even though to us that’s still cold. Prectikar living in human dominated areas often just take a lot of supplements with beneficial bacteria in them to cope with thr lack of that in their environent, and any food printers need an 'ink' cartridge containing these things or else theyre basically useless.),

They also experience faster general wear and tear from having constant complex and intensive chemical reactions(sometimes with dangerous chemicals) going on in their bloodstream and tissues.

( I’m not a biochemist, so if there’s any glaring issues with this then just explain it away to yourself with ‘they have a gland for that’ or ‘just don’t think about it actually’ which is what I did. I just wanted the fun color with a metal that can reversibly bond with oxygen :). )

They have one nasal passageway for smell/air and a second, bigger cavity for just vocalization (which they can’t breathe in from as easily).

This second cavity is between their first set of eyes, and has a phonic lip structure inside to produce higher pitched sounds.

The upper nasal opening has muscled nostrils that act as lips to further help control sound. The noise coming from here sounds very high to them, but to us it sounds like a nasally human voice, broken uobhere and there with squeaks, buzzes, and clicks).

They can pitch this nose voice very high, closer to dolphin-like clicking noises but not quite echolocation level.

Their throat vocal cords by their air sac are very long and thick, used for making very deep noises that carry long distances.

However, the vocal control they have through their mouth is very poor due to this and the inarticulate lips and tongue they have, and due to the more limited air they can bring in and out of it, so when speaking only through their mouth they sound a lot like seals or dogs and can only really go in short bursts before having to refill the sac.

Most of their languages are spoken with the nose and mouth sounds in tandem, where the high and low mix to make a more even sounding voice.

It’s fairly easy to understand them, but nearly impossible for us to truly speak any of their native languages, and if they wanted to they could also just start making sounds we cant hear.

They see it as strange that humans and other species speak with a single tone without difficulty.

The red flaps pictured on the drawing of their mouth and nasal passages can be moved to seal off the passage and direct airflow elsewhere.

The big red one in their throat acts as a “diaphragm” to fill and empty the air sac (which is left over from when their digestive and respiratory tracts were more connected like ours, but time in the water heavily shifted it to a more ‘blowhole’ type outline to help them breathe and vocalize from the surface).

The other flap by the air sac and its vocal cords moves upwards to block off the digestive tract whenever the mouth or nose is opened to allow air to be drawn in by this diaphragm.

The two red flaps making a pinched shape can move independently or with the other red flap, but never at the same time with each other. The main airway is always separate from the digestive tract, though the flap to the middle, non vocal nasal passage can be moved so that it’s a part of either the vocal nasal passage to draw in air or the air sac part to act as another resonance chamber.

Air can be drawn in by the diaphragm via open mouth and through the nose via open top red flap at the same time, and can be released at the same time, resulting in their near continuous double speak sound they use for their own language.

Their characteristic large tusks are retractable and housed in a cone-shaped bony socket on the side of their jaw.

A muscle is attached to the bony root of the tooth, and pushes it out. As it slides towards the front of the mouth, the cone socket narrows and wedges a protrusion on the tooth into a hole in the socket, and then the muscle stiffens, locking it in there.

When the tusk retracts, the muscle quickly jimmies the tooth forward then draws it back to get it out of the hole, and then pulls it back into the wider part of the socket.

This is mainly because their tusks are ever growing (but very slowly) but not great at self sharpening, and are their main weapon in self defense and hunting,so it seems this just happened to keep them safe.

If a tusk is broken, as long as it was not cracked at the root, it can be regrown with extensive time in the socket, but otherwise they stay safely stowed in da socket where the majority of its sharp edge can stay protected from chewing and other mouth stuff. Tusks won't start growing in until their teenage years.

They are primarily bipedal/ quadrupedal and switch between the two occasionally.

Knuckle walking helps distribute their top-heavy weight and give them more balance for long and short distance, while walking upright gives them better visibility, less stress on their neck/upper back, and quicker but unsteadier movement.

Their gallop/sprint utilizes both arms and legs to propel them forward in a gait halfway between a bear and a gorilla (since their big mid arms are set like a bears) to overtake prey after an ambush or drive them into the rest of the pack waiting elsewhere. Quad walking also helps them get around in buildings meant for species half their size.

Their hands are some of their only places without hair, but as they age, they loose it on their arms and face too.

Prectikar have different uses for each of their pairs of limbs, and have for all stages of their evolution.

The front ones specialized for grappling prey and grabbing things, and so have a ‘sprawling’ shoulder position like humans and have hands with relatively nimble fingers, the outer two are angled inwards but can also move in a pamprodactyl ish fashion (which acts as their version of a thumb, and lets them switch from big to little grabbing motions) .

Their mid limbs used to be wings with hands, and still have a basically zygodactyl finger position that was helpful for holding onto branches (with the backwards facing finger), but over time they have been converted into terrestrial knuckle-walking limbs, with the one that swings back and forth being brought forwards to walk or swung back to adjust grip on big things they want to move or for balance on unstable terrain like ice . The fingers on this one are big and clumsy, pretty much only useful for digging, walking, or slashing.

Their back limbs also used to be for grasping but were mainly counterbalances, but have now turned into plantigrade walking limbs (and much like humans, that’s pretty much all they use them for). All have nonretractable claws.

Prectikar are viviparous and usually give birth to litters of up to 8.

They have a specific mating season, where their dimorphic traits will become more pronounced.

Males in rut will shed the feathers on their throat sac region and it will become a bright ambery yellow color, and they will also grow in longer feathers on their butt region (in a fan shape for display purposes. The dont have a true post anal tail like humans).

They will also develop some of that pinkish orange/yellow on their chest skin. Females go throguh estrus cycles and will also grow a more prominent butt feather crest, as well as some very long feathers around their neck, shoulders, and abdomen for babies to hold onto.

Their skin patches turn a much brighter shade of yellow to help direct newborns to where they can feed from. Once they give birth, they will start making an oily and thick secretion across the skin patch which is collected into a divot which the infant licks from. Part of why the babies hold onto them is so they can constantly lick the 'milk'so they can grow.

Newborns come out blind and hairless, but quickly grow in a thick down and open their eyes so they can climb on mom.

Once they're weaned, they'll drop off and use the muscles they gained hanging on and climbing to start moving with the adults. They grow very fast, and canes are a common sight in teens to help deal with the rapid bone and muscle growth.

Usually, it is only during this season where chest/skin related nudity standards change to be more conservative, since showing those colors means youre down to fuck and so doing that is usually restricted to in private with their partner or for bachelors.

They have very strict binaries for sex and gender based on this seasonal divide and religion.

Most tribes show gender identity through a piercing on their lower nose for male or chin for female (so dont worry, the main guy up there is showing some male presenting chest outside of the mating season, so hes fine).

Normally, only some cultures pierce their ears, which are like if owls had a little mobile flap of outer ear to swivel I stead of their whole head. Very little of it is actually flesh, and the sound is mainly captured by the feathers around it.

While they have a reputation otherwise, Prectikar are highly social within their tribal/family groups.

They regularly allogroom, greet each other with hugs, and usually travel in sibling groups. Households are multi generational.

They have a reputation as standoffish or irritable because they take things very differently and have other standards/specific body language truggers. also most other species treat them differently/with fear by default.

their upper pair of eyes is larger and focused on long distance vision while their lower pair is for close up vision, creatign a bifocal effect for them when using both at once.

Aaaaaand that oretty much everything, I think. I'll post some other arts related to them soon, but consider this the Master Post on the things you should know about them!!

[bighungrywolf]

There are preds who, when they find a partner, try to follow a normal diet, leaving aside the consumption of other human beings in order to fit in with their boyfriend. However, the amount of calories and protein their bodies need are so high that to compensate they need untold amounts of protein and pounds and pounds of food, which they will consume as simple snacks. If your partner is a pred and has left that lifestyle behind for you, watch out, because even if he loves you very much and doesn't even think about consuming you, any day he doesn't have enough protein on hand and his body goes into caloric deficiency, his true self will come to light, consuming whoever he has more at hand. So you'd better spend all your salary on keeping your boyfriend's appetite in check, otherwise he'll end up falling into his old habits of grabbing whatever prey he can get his hands on without being able to control his instincts.

[bigification]

Malleable

Experiment: Testing human bodies malleability for potential species transformation.

Notes: Human was abducted from pool in the human country of Saudi Arabia. Subject has an average human build, tan skin, and more hair than the average male human. Subject will be kept in simulation of a pool to reduce stress on the humans mind.

Test Subject 1

Species: human

Weight: 180 pounds

Height: 5"10

Age: 27

Race: Arab

Experiment 1: Muscle growth

Notes: Subject will be given a muscle growth agent, as well as some hormones that may help ease the human body through its transformation. Subject will be kept in simulation of their home for comfort.

Subject has responded well to muscle growth. Muscle has grown mostly in chest, arms, and legs, consistent with proportions of muscle in the average male human. Added hormones have increased the subjects body hair significantly, primarily in the subjects face. Hormones have also slightly affected height and age of subject.

Species: human

Weight: 250 pounds

Height: 6"2

Age: 30

Race: Arab

Experiment 2: Racial change

Notes: Subject will be given an agent to change their genetics from Arabic to American. An American department store has been selected for maximum comfort.

Results are not as expected, but experiment is still a success. Subject has been transformed from an Arab male human to an average American male human. Subjects skin has lightened to a pale beige colour, and majority of their body hair has fallen out. Also, the subjects genitalia decreased slightly in size. These changes are suspected to be caused by change in genetics during transformation.

Species: human

Weight: 250 pounds

Height: 6"2

Age: 30

Race: Caucasian

Experiment 3: Fat growth

Notes: Subject will be given a large dose of calories to significantly increase body fat mass. We have observed that fat gain can often be stressful among humans, so subject will be kept unaware of fat gained for maximum comfort.

Subject has reacted well to high dose of calories. They seem unaware of their high body fat percentage. Fat has concentrated primarily in the stomach, with some in the chest, arms and legs, which is consistent with fat distribution in the average human male.

Species: human

Weight: 359 pounds

Height: 6"2

Age: 30

Race: Caucasian

Experiment 4: Hair growth

Notes: Since subject has lost majority of their body hair, we will test their ability to grow it back. Subject will be given a mixture of hormones to help the body grow hair. The subject will be given larger clothes for maximum comfort.

Subject has reacted well to mixture of hormones. Subject has grown an amount of body hair comparable to their body before experiment 2. Although, the hair is a brown colour, when it was a black colour previously. This is suspected to be a side effect of racial change. Other side effects of the hormones is a deeper voice, slight change in fat distribution, and increase in generalist size.

Species: human

Weight: 350 pounds

Height: 6"4

Age: 30

Race: Caucasian

Experiment 5: Age progression

Notes: The human body has been observed to change drastically while aging. The subject will be given an aging agent. Subject will be given clothes that have been observed an older human for maximum comfort.

Not as much changed in the human body as expected. The body hair turned a light grey, the fat distribution has concentrated in the stomach and chest, and the subjects skin has become dry and spotted. Also the subjects seems to have lost muscle mass and gained fat mass during the aging process, we have yet to discover whether this is normal in aging male humans.

Species: human

Weight: 330 pounds

Height: 6"0 Age: 60

Race: Caucasian

Experiment 6: Species transformation

Notes: Human subject has been deemed to be malleable enough for species transformation. Subject will be exposed to a fungus from the fungus forests on the home planet. Subject will be placed in an average sillian household for maximum comfort.

Subject has completed the species transformation without problems. Facial features have changed significantly to match those of a male sillian. Subject has grown two extra limbs, a large amount of body fat and muscle mass, and body hair comparable to the average male sillian. Fat has concentrated in chest, stomach, and legs, consistent with an average sillian. Muscle has concentrated in the arms, legs, and chest to optimize the subject utility in battle. Subjects genitalia have increased in size to match the average male sillian. Intelligence has also increased to that of an average sillian soldier and subject now comprehends English, Arabic, and Sillian.

Species: sillian

Weight: 1240 pounds

Height: 12"4

Age: 132

Race: N/A

This concluded the laboratory report on the malleability of the human body. We will continue to transform their male human into loyal Sillian soldiers in an attempt to outnumber their troops for the next invasion.

[hedonists-den]

POV: We’re roommates and I’ve finally had it with your fatass behaviors after you help yourself to my chocolate. I let a lot of pent-up frustration out on you before realizing that there’s only one fitting consequence for your greed.

⚠️ Heavy fat-shaming ⚠️

TRANSCRIPT:

[distant] You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

Did you take my truffles? You did, didn’t you? I can see the wrappers right there! I can’t fucking believe this…I put up with a lot from you, but blatantly stealing my food? Aren’t you fat enough as is? I mean you’ve already broken three office chairs—two of which I carried inside, by the way—but noooo, you’ve got to have my chocolate. 

Those truffles are the only things I allow myself at the end of the week, you know that? You know how hard I work to keep my diet in check? All the calorie tracking, exercising, and meal planning I have to do? No, you couldn’t possibly understand. You don’t try hard at anything. You don’t even know what self-control means. All you do is sit around all day, stuffing your fat fucking face and getting high. 

I’m being mean? That’s all you have to say to me? No apology, no “I’ll pay you back for it,”? Are you serious? Well how’s this for mean: You’re a fucking embarrassment. You’re a shameless fat blimp of a human being that only exists to consume. You’re no better than livestock, grazing on whatever it can because its only value is how fucking fat it is. The only difference is that you have at least a modicum of self-awareness to know how completely helpless and useless you are.

How much effort does it take to heave your fat ass up from that chair? Gotta get some momentum going before you can actually stand up? Go ahead. Try to lug yourself to your feet without grunting and struggling. [...] Yeah, that’s what I fucking thought. I’m shocked that you were able to even make it to the pantry to take my chocolate after such a pathetic attempt. That must be why there’s always piles of dishes stacked up in here, too. You’re too fucking lazy to even take them into the kitchen. I always have to clean up after these goddamn feasts of yours or else I’ll never have any dishes for myself. 

Fucking hell, when I signed up to be your roommate, I absolutely did not sign up for this. You at least had some decency when I moved in, so what the hell happened? Did you lose some fucking bet? Or did you just wake up one morning and decide that you were going to be a lazy, fat pig? What kind of degenerate shit did you—ugh, for fuck’s sake, pull your goddamn shirt down…your fucking gut is spilling out… That’s fucking disgusting… Nothing you’re wearing right now even fits! Your fat is just…oozing out of everything… I can’t believe you look like this and still you justify to yourself that you need my candy on top of everything else you shovel into your mouth. Just… No, you know what? You don’t want to apologize? You want to be a fatass? To live in this offensively obese body that you’ve ruined?

[unwrapping candy] Then eat. Eat, you fucking pig. You wanted my candy? You’re going to have it. Every single piece, and then some. You’ll never be any smaller than you are right now. I’ll make sure of it.

Oh no, no, no, you don’t get to stop now. Open up, fatty. You’re done when I say you’re done.

[luxuourr]

WHEN YOU know LOA AND FEEL FAT/SKINNY/INSECURE.

currently made this post for me and everyone who has these issues

I've got alot of trauma , growing up as the chubby cute baby became taunts and mockery, i never looked fat and ugly and anything like this , I was always admired everywhere for my body except at my house and over the years it's become my trauma, my mom being a psychologist and still not realizing her solutions from the internet, telling me my leptin hormone is shit,my metabolism is so slow or I have PCOS as an intersex it never made sense, she never did make any sense and I know some people in this community have been struggling and are struggling with weight loss since for years. I have come across this manifesting coach, most of y'all know called electrasoul and for context they struggled with body image issues and weight loss too until it clicked in their mind. Those are some of the most important points I made you'll love. You will fall in love with this guys.

SHE DID NOT CHANGE HER DIET, YOU DONT HAVE TO EITHER.

"WTF that's not true, impossible, nah you need to count your calories and workout to loose weight , ain't no way my lifestyle doesn't have to change and brain needs to be controlled", so it really works like that. First of all this drill of changing diets and workouts that has been draining us people who wanna loose weight has been going on since we have been mature, the biggest enemy of our weight has been our own parents, if you're skinny, you're too skinny. if you're healthy, you're too healthy but you now need to find yourself a balance but it'll only come if you're a LOA person and finally have the will to loose weight, throw logic and society's diets and workouts out rn , if you're too tired for that , you don't need it. The brain is the strongest part of your body because it's capable of doing things you'd never imagine.

KNOWING AND STATE

first you need to know what you want, so you wanna gain or loose weight , or you want a healthy weight? ok did you choose what you want now let's proceed.

all your life they told you to eat less otherwise you'd be overweight and eat more to gain weight but sometimes underweight people genuinely eat enough or don't like eating and don't gain weight and sometimes people who are overweight barely eat at all, it's just their mind " oh I drink water and gain weight " ofc bro you really drilled it in your mind to be this way. The essential step is that don't look for logic. Law of assumption was made to remind you nevillie didn't need knowledge to marry the woman of his dreams and you don't need logic or calories In the world of law of assumption where you made rules. ARE CALORIES EVEN REAL, IS DIETING SOMETHING WHEN YOU ARE GOD?? YOU'RE CREATING THIS ALL THEN WHY ARE YOU LISTENING TO OTHER HUMANS AND THEIR BS WHEN ITS YOUR LIFE.

dieting and workouts is for the weak, the true mind power lies in you, it is now your choice to turn your weaknesses into strengths, It is now your choice to eat food knowing you're gonna loose and reach your body goals with it. So apparently the best way and a good example of this , that you will understand what I mean is, you can still eat food staying naturally in the state or affirming.

calories are nothing to me in my life

eating makes me loose / gain weight

no matter what I do, I have my dream body

my metabolism is slow/fast ( if you wanna loose or gain weight )

No matter what I eat, whatever i do, however I eat, binge or die and cry or spiral, I have to gain / loose weight

this is literally my world so I have decided and have my ideal body and weight.

These are the examples of simple affirmations you can use to persist, even while eating.

DONT COUNT YOUR CALORIES

if you truly believe in LOA stop counting calories , calories is a man made thing , bro who tf even found out about something that you can't see, do fruits grow and are labelled low or high cals? did they experiment people for fat or thin, to find out that?? nahh bffr ☹️ giving the control of your life to some dumbass calories scientists made. We don't believe in that. Girl you're just having a maintained body for the rest of your life no matter what ✊🏻

IT IS YOUR CHOICE

whether you can start affirming and assuming and knowing that you're at your ideal weight , food makes you loose or gain weight or tire yourself with diets and workout if you're already tired from every aspect of your life.

for someone struggling with PTSD AND DEPRESSION

This is an honest advice, goodluck loosing/gaining weight/ getting your ideal body.

you don't have to stop all those sugary stuff and things want, just assume you can do this. ✊🏻🌹

[altocat]

Do you think it’s more likely SOLDIERs are always hungry and eat more then normal human, rarely hungry and don’t need to eat as much, or a combination related to the last time they had Mako treatments?

It varies from soldier to soldier. Some develop intense reactions to Mako to where internal regulations like sleep and hunger become a vague thing of the past, no longer requiring the same degree of hours or sustenance in order to thrive. Others develop strong appetites and need the extra calories in order to perform the extremely physical feats of a mako-showered warrior on the battlefield.

With the Firsts, it's kind of a fluid scale.

Angeal has a very good appetite, but he was always that way. He's a big guy. And growing up poor with less food on the table influenced him to never waste or skip a meal. The mako just made it all the more intense.

Genesis doesn't eat as much after mako treatments. He can be finnicky with his foods even on a good day. Before mako, he'd had a fairly normal appetite of someone his age. But nowadays he only really indulges himself on special occasions, or whenever he wants to build muscle.

Sephiroth has a MONSTROUS appetite, which he attributes to mako. And maybe just a little bit of that is valid. But it's mostly coming from his Jenova cells, which has effectively rendered him a bottomless pit, capable of taking in high calories with few physical effects. Sephiroth doesn't eat whenever he's upset or whenever Hojo is restricting his diet. But when he takes the time to remember just how hungry he is, he's absolutely ravenous.

[lullabyes22-blog]

my supreme, what is your opinion on the first three episodes of arcane season 2?

hhfdgffd

<3

The only supreme is Fortiche - and a huge round of applause to them for the animation in S2. Every frame is like lickable visual cake icing and my eyeballs scream for more.

Also in keeping with food metaphors -

First 3 eps are good soup. Tasty soup. Well-presented soup.

However.

There are clumps in this soup that were absent in S1. The flow is not as seamless. Transitions feel jarring and the dialogue overall feels distinctly more flavorless. First time I watched S1, there were entire lines of dialogue I ended up memorizing, and that dialogue continues to pack a well-deserved punch 3 years later.

This time around, the scripts feel distinctly more... Marvel-esque?

High on quip calorie, low on substantive content.

I highly suspect there was a great deal of executive meddling behind the scenes, given corporate were not expecting Arcane to crunch the numbers it did + the scripts being incomplete. That, and the storyline kept getting passed between different writing departments, with different chefs trying to spice the broth. All of this might account for the relative lack of cohesion and its weird sense of hypercompression

I don't know if it'll improve or get worse. We're only at 3 eps, and the rest of the story's still waiting to be told, so I reserve any real criticism until then.

But overall, yeah.

It's still gourmet soup, but I feel as if the soup's been zapped in a microwave, ykwim?

Beyond that, the series is still a treat. Truly sumptuous soundtrack, and inspiring cinematography. The fight scenes legit made me catch my breath. You can feel the love poured into every frame.

Fuhrer Caitlyn gassing Zaun was not on my Bingo card, tho.

Nor was Jesus Viktor.

I am A-OK with the Arcane eating Heimerdinger. But gimme back Jayce and Ekko, pls. They got character arcs (and ship breakups) to suffer through </3

I also do not think the writers of the show were expecting world affairs to pivot quite the way they have - /gestures vaguely at RL - because leaving aside character motivations in a self-contained fictional setting, the critical literary lens and interpretive optics between Zaun and Piltover overall are gonna lead to some, hehehe, interesting fandom discourse.

On my part, I can't wait to see every single one of these beloved characters spiral to the depths, hit rock bottom, and hopefully climb back out as wiser human beings.

I also expect some of 'em to die.

:')

Overall: 8/10. Very yummy indeed.