#hi tangyy :)!!!

[chinesehanfu]

[Hanfu · 漢服]Chinese Western Han (202 BC–9 AD) Traditional Clothing Hanfu Photoshoot

She is the emperor's sister, She is also the emperor's aunt.

【About Princess Guantao Liu Piao/馆陶公主刘嫖】 Princess Guantao, Liu Piao (born before 188 BCE—died before 116 BCE), was the daughter of Emperor Wen of Han and Empress Dou, and the sister of Emperor Jing of Han. She was granted the title of Princess Guantao, but after marrying Chen Mu of Tangyi(堂邑)Marquis, she was also known as Princess Tangyi. As the aunt of Emperor Wu of Han, she was honored with the title of Dowager Dou(窦太主). Her daughter, Chen, became the first empress of Emperor Wu of Han.

Liu Piao's birth year is unknown, but her younger brother, Emperor Jing of Han (Liu Qi/刘启), was born in 188 BCE. At that time, their father, Emperor Wen of Han (Liu Heng/刘恒), was only fifteen years old and still a vassal king of han dynasty, so Liu Piao's birth year is unlikely to be later than 188 BCE. In September 180 BCE, Liu Heng was ushered to Chang'an and ascended the throne as Emperor Wen. A few months later, Liu Qi was made Crown Prince, Empress Dou was made appointed, and Liu Piao was given the title of Princess Guantao. During this period, Liu Piao married Chen Mu, Marquis of Tangyi, and they had at least two sons and one daughter. Chen Mu became the third-generation Marquis of Tangyi in the third year of Emperor Wen’s reign (177 BCE), but the exact date of Liu Piao's marriage to him is no longer verifiable.

During the Reign of Emperor Jing of Han(Princess's brother) Peirod

In 157 BCE, after Emperor Jing of Han ascended the throne, Princess Guantao Liu Piao continued to frequently visit the palace. With the favor of Dowager Dou and the indulgence of Emperor Jing, she became a significant figure in the Han court. During this time, her son Chen Jiao was granted the title of Marquis of Longlü because of his mother's status.

Liu Piao was adept at political maneuvering and used her daughter, Chen Shi（陈氏）, as a political pawn. Initially, she intended to marry Chen Shi to Crown Prince Liu Rong(刘荣), the son of Lady Li(Concubine). However, due to her frequent introduce of beautiful women to Emperor Jing, which caused deep conflict with Lady Li, this proposal was firmly rejected by her. Enraged, Liu Piao later sought a marriage alliance with Consort Wang, who agreed to the match. Through the combined efforts of Liu Piao and Consort Wang, Crown Prince Liu Rong was deposed and made the King of Linjiang in the seventh year of the Yuan era (150 BCE), and two years later, he was forced to death, with Lady Li also dying from grief.

Soon after, Consort Wang was made Empress, and her son, Liu Che（刘彻）, was established as Crown Prince and married Chen Shi（陈氏）.

During the Reign of Emperor Wu of Han(汉武帝)

In 141 BCE, after Emperor Wu of Han (Liu Che/刘彻) ascended the throne, Chen Shi was made Empress（陈氏）. As the granddaughter of Dowager Dou and the daughter of Princess Guantao Liu Piao, who had contributed to the appointment of Liu Che as Crown Prince, Chen Shi enjoyed significant favor. At this time, Princess Guantao Liu Piao had been elevated by the emperor and was honored with the title Dowager Dou(窦太主).

Later, Emperor Wu favored Wei Zifu(卫子夫), a singer from the residence of his sister, Princess Pingyang(平阳公主). This situation made Empress Chen extremely jealous, especially since she was childless and unable to conceive despite seeking medical help. Meanwhile, Wei Zifu(卫子夫) became pregnant. As a result, Empress Chen resorted to witchcraft, but Emperor Wu discovered her actions, leading to her deposition in the fifth year of the Yuan Guang era (130 BCE).

By 129 BCE, after the death of Dowager Dou Liu Piao's husband, Chen Mu, she was a woman in her sixty year old, living as a widow. At this time, she became infatuated with a handsome young man named Dong Yan(董偃). Dong Yan(董偃)'s mother had been a pearl seller, and from the age of thirteen, he had frequently visited the home of Dowager Dou Liu Piao. Known for his good looks, Dong Yan was summoned by Dowager Dou Liu Piao, who took him into her household, where he was educated and trained in various skills. At eighteen, Dong Yan served as Dowager Dou's attendant and also acted as her inner chamber servant. His gentle and kind nature, combined with their illicit relationship, led many to address him as “Lord Dong/董君.”

Later, Anling Yuan Shu(安陵爰叔) advised Dong Yan to suggest to Dowager Dou that she offer the Changmen Garden as a separate palace to Emperor Wu. Emperor Wu was pleased with this gesture and renamed the garden “Changmen Palace.” Dowager Dou, delighted with this outcome, rewarded Yuan Shu generously.

Subsequently, Anling Yuan Shu suggested that Dong Yan propose to Dowager Dou that she be ill and unable to see Emperor Wu. When Emperor Wu visited to inquire about her health, Dowager Dou expressed a desire to host him. After Dowager Dou recovered, Emperor Wu was invited to a banquet. During the event, Dowager Dou removed her jewelry, knelt to apologize to Emperor Wu, and then had Dong Yan do the same. Throughout the banquet, Dowager Dou and Dong Yan showed great respect and hospitality to Emperor Wu, who was very pleased. As a result, Dong Yan became highly favored and frequently participated in palace activities.

Han dynasty scholar-official DongFang Shuo(東方朔) was quite critical of Dong Yan, disapproving of his affair with the princess, which he felt undermined moral standards and distracted the ruler from his duties. Emperor Wu gradually distanced himself from Dong Yan, who fell out of favor and died in his thirties. After losing Dong Yan, Princess Guantao Liu Piao lived for several more years before her death. Her final wish was not to be buried with her husband, Chen Mu, but rather to be interred with her lover, Dong Yan, in Balin. This request is considered the beginning of more extravagant practices among princesses and noblewomen.

In the first year of the Yuanding era (116 BCE), her two sons, Chen Xu, Marquis of Tangyi, and Chen Jiao, Marquis of Longlü, committed suicide during their mother's mourning period due to their involvement in illicit affairs(with woman)and disputes over inheritance. The title of Marquis of Tangyi was abolished. A few years later, her daughter, the deposed Empress Chen Shi, also passed away.

In Chinese history, princesses were often unfortunate victims of political marriages and diplomatic alliances. However, there are also many fortunate examples, such as Princess Guantao. Unlike many others confined by the conservative constraints of a feudal empire, she lived a life of personal freedom and pursued her desires, breaking free from traditional limitations.

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[kittykickflips]

yeah whoever that was must be super lame and dumb for not knowing that honeydew is a fruit tsk tsk get a hold of yourself anon :))

are you uh

shit

are you a fruit because

honeydew you know how fine you are

is

is honeydew even a fucking fruit

wait

yes it is

woowww that was super smooth i’m soo so enamored and flustered wow

[ctl-yuejie]

ShaoFei discovering TangYi’s voice messages 0.2

[dangerliesbeforeyou]

Shao Fei (Jake Hsu) as Merlin from BBC’s Merlin (lol) - painting ~

the companion/joint piece to the tang yi as arthur piece i did a few weeks ago (here)

shao fei really reminded me a lot of merlin tbh... (notjusttheears) the undying loyalty, strong sense of morality, goofy/clumsy but still a bamf & fully capable of standing up for himself, + other things tbh... 

[absolutebl]

I recently watched a video that made me think of how in BL Tops often have more “masculine” stereotype traits ex. Shirtless scene, plays sport, strong, the chaser, etc. While the Bottom has more “feminine” stereotype traits ex. Cute, likes cooking, resist the relationship, less muscular, etc.

Do you know any shows where the Top has more “feminine” traits or where it’s flipped so the Top is more “feminine” and the bottom more “masculine”?

I prefer the terms seme/uke. 

But yeah I hear ya, here’s an absolutely typical example: 

Any BLs where the seme has more feminine traits?

No, not really. We are getting more of this in m/m romance now that gay romance novels are becoming actually more queer but BL isn't there yet. BL is very heterosexually dysmorphic, especially from Thailand. In short, since the seme is “the man” he is not allowed to be feminine by the conceits of the narrative. (I should say this is also true in het romances out of Asia. Heroes are required to be REAL MEN, so to speak.) 

Anygay, I talk about this kind of thing here:

Defining and analyzing seme/uke in BL (and why I use these terms and not top/bottom or Dom/sub) Be Loved In House: I Do made me do it. 

How do they determine who will be in what role?

So there are visual BL tropes associated with the two roles that are pretty established as belonging to either one or the other. You named many of them. But here's a full list: Tropes that are seme/uke dysmorphic. This makes BL, which is defined by its tropes, particularly vested in maintaining a heterosexually dysmorphic seme/uke. 

If you want softer semes then you'll need to look for BLs with no (or weak) seme/uke dynamics. This often also translates to no real top/bottom impression given to watchers. 

The two are not the same though. Top/bottom/verse are terms from the gay community that have to do with sexual preference and have nothing to do with personality, and SHOULD have NOTHING to do with characterization. Seme/uke are narrative archetypes and have to do with storytelling and the yaoi tradition upon which most BL is based. 

I'll give an example: FighterTutor in Why R U? are clearly verse in the sack, but Fighter is the seme character. 

BL couples where there is no seme/uke 

There are a few instances of Aggressive & Autonomous Ukes in BL where the uke forced by the narrative to undertake the seme role. Those are kind of fun. But the seme usually maintains his "masculine" association. And often these are sided characters. 

This all has to do with the fact that most BL is produced with a het not a queer lens. In other words it is assumed audiences can only comprehend romance if it is based on a chassis of man/woman. One of the biggest damages BL does to the queer community is perpetuate this stereotype. 

There are instances of feminine gay men being predatory and active pursuers of relationships, but in Thai BL they are usually clown archetypes, comic relief, and plot devices played for laughs (punching down humor). Yes, I am thinking of Green in 2gether. 

If a BL ever does do what you are asking for: give us a seme who is out gay and somewhat soft and feminine I WILL LOSE MY MIND. 

Meanwhile, here are a few you might want to check out that almost get there:

Hsia YuHao & Qiu ZiXuan in HIStory 2: Crossing the Line - Taiwan likes to futz with seme/uke 

Du & Phuc in Hay Rival, I LOVE YOU - Vietnam 

Win & Tops in Ingredients - Thai 

Ace & Sky in My Day - Pinoy 

Tee & Mork in My Tee - Thai 

Mitsuomi Kozuka & Yamato Kumai in Restart After Come Back Home - Japan

In Soo & Min Sung in Wish You - Korea 

TangYi & ShaoFei in History 3: Trapped - Taiwan 

Paper & Fah in Close Friend - Thai 

Seryou & Yuzuru in Seven Days - Japan 

YuZhen & ShiLei in Be Loved In House: I Do - Taiwan (My original blog post on seme/uke was spawned because of these two) 

(source) 

[mydaylight]

HISTORY MEME (1/5): HAN | TANG | SONG | MING | QING | Liu Piao, Princess of Guantao, also known as Grand Princess Dou

Liu Piao, the Grand Princess (Zhang Gongzhu Piao), c. 190–? 130/ 120 B.C.E., was born in what is now Yanmen Pass in Shanxi Province. She was the eldest daughter of Liu Heng and his concubine Lady Dou (later to become Empress Dou). She was also the older sister of Liu Qi (Emperor Jing, 188– 141 B.C.E.; r. 156– 141 B.C.E.). She was granted the title Princess of Guantao when her father became emperor, and after marrying Chen Wu, a grandson of Chen Ying, Marquis of Tangyi, she gave birth to a daughter whom they named Chen Jiao.

During the reign of her brother, Liu Piao was free to come and go in the court. Her beloved daughter Chen Jiao (whose nickname was Ajiao) therefore grew up in the rear palaces with her maternal cousin Liu Che (Emperor Wu, 156– 87 B.C.E.; r. 140– 87 B.C.E.). Liu Piao paid a great deal of attention to Liu Che, who was granted the title Prince of Jiaodong when he was four years old. One day in his residence she sat him on her lap and, pointing to his maids, asked him if he wanted a beautiful wife. None of the maids pleased the boy, but when Liu Piao pointed to Chen Jiao and asked the same question he replied with delight: “If I could have Ajiao as my wife I would build a house of gold for her!” However, Liu Piao was ambitious and when another of the emperor’s sons, Liu Rong, was appointed heir apparent she approached his mother, Concubine Li (Xiao Jing Li Ji), proposing a marriage between their children. To Liu Piao’s great surprise, Concubine Li rejected her proposal, leading her to put the marriage proposal to Consort Wang, the mother of Liu Che, who accepted immediately on her son’s behalf.

Liu Che ascended the throne when he was sixteen years old and appointed Chen Jiao his empress. After ten years of marriage, however, she had not borne him any children; she was also overbearing and jealous, while her mother, Liu Piao, had become exceedingly greedy. The emperor grew disgusted with both of them and transferred his affections to Wei Zifu, who had been brought into the palace on the recommendation of his eldest sister, the Princess of Pingyang. Empress Chen attempted suicide to regain the emperor’s favor and resorted to sorcery and incantations, performed by a witch named Chu Fu. When these activities were brought to light Chu Fu and some 300 others were put to death, while Empress Chen was deposed and sent to live in Changmen Palace. Undaunted, Liu Piao complained to the Princess of Pingyang about the emperor’s ungratefulness in abandoning his empress, claiming that he would not have become emperor without Liu Piao’s help. While the princess explained that Empress Chen had been deposed simply because she had not produced any children, the emperor argued that he had been unable to do otherwise, since “the empress engaged in unlawful activities.” Though Empress Chen had been deposed, he told Liu Piao, she was living in great comfort in Changmen Palace. This effectively silenced Liu Piao, who could do no more for her daughter.

Source: Lee, Lily Xiao Hong; Stefanowska, A.D.; Wiles, Sue. Biographical Dictionary of Chinese Women: Antiquity Through Sui, 1600 B.C.E. - 618 C.E (University of Hong Kong Libraries Publications) 

[bookofjin]

Biography of Liu Muzhi

From Songshu 42.

Liu Muzhi, courtesy name Daohe, child name Daomin, was a native of Ju in Donglai. He was a descendant of Han's King Daohui of Qi, Fei. [His family] for generations lived at Jingkou. As young he was fond of the Documents and Transmittals, and broadly perused them very comprehensively. He was recognized by Jiang Ai of Jiyang. When Ai became General who Establishes the Martial and Interior Clerk of Langye, he used him as the Office Master of Accounts.

Earlier, Muzhi dreamt that he and Gaozu floated on the sea together. Suddenly they encountered a great wind, and they were frightened and afraid. They bowed down to look beneath the boat, and saw two white dragons clinging to the double hull. Then they arrived at one mountain, the peaks and cliffs were high-rising and graceful, and the tree groves profuse and thick. In his thoughts he was considerably pleased with it.

When Gaozu overcame Jing City, he asked He Wuji, saying:

[I] urgently need an Office Master of Accounts, who to get for it?

Wuji said:

None exceed Liu Daomin

Gaozu said:

I also know about him.

He immediately hurried a courier to summon him. At the time Muzhi had heard that in Jing City there were sounds of shouting and commotion. At daybreak he stood up to set out for the footpath, and just so met with the courier. Muzhi looked straight ahead and did not talk for a long time. Then he turned back to his house, [put on] ruined cloth clothes as trousers, and went to see Gaozu. Gaozu spoke to him, saying:

I have started to lift up great righteousness, but just now the beginnings are hard and difficult, and the need for an army clerk is very urgent. Will you Sir speak of who would be worthy of its selection?

Muzhi said:

Certainly, when an office is first established, the army clerk really needs his talents. Amidst the hustle and bustle, he must attend to it completely without excesses.

Gaozu laughed and said:

You Sir is able to expend yourself. My affairs will be successful.

He promptly received appointment at the seat.

He accompanied pacifying the Capital District. When Gaozu first arrived, the various great assessments and allotments, and all the hustle and bustle setting up and settling, everything was established by Muzhi. Thereupon he was entrusted with the duties of belly and heart, to move or halt was consulted with him. Muzhi also was utterly steadfast and fully sincere, nothing was omitted or hidden.

At the time Jin's mainstays were loose and relaxed, imposing restrictions but not acting. Flourishing families, the prominent and honoured, counted on the circumstances to infringe and let loose. Lesser people, the destitute and discomfited, had nothing with which to set themselves up. It was especially due to Sima Yuanxian's government orders' divergence and deviations, and Huan Xuan's ordnances and article's profuse density. Muzhi considered carefully what was suitable for the times, and followed what was proper to straighten them out. It had not been a full ten-day before manners and customs were smoothed out and changed.

He moved to Gentleman of the Sacrifice Section to the Masters of Writing, and then became Office Master of Accounts, Army Advisor Recording Affairs in the Registry House, and nominal Grand Warden of Tangyi. Due to his merits in pacifying Huan Xuan, he was ennobled Fifth Grade Count of Xihua County.

3rd Year of Yixi [407 AD], the Inspector of Yang province, Wang Mi, passed away. Gaozu was the next likely to enter and assist. Liu Yi and others did not wish for Gaozu to enter, and discussed using the Leading the Army of the Centre, Xie Hun, as Yang province. Some wished to order Gaozu to Dantu to lead the province, with inner affairs handed over to the Archer-Servant of the Masters of Writing, Meng Chang. They dispatched the Assistant of the Right to the Masters of Writing, Pi Chen, to consult Gaozu on the two opinions. Chen first saw Muzhi, and generally explained the court's opinion. Muzhi pretended to stand up to go to the lavatory, and promptly sent a secret missive to inform Gaozu, saying:

Pi Chen just now arrived, his words cannot be followed.

Gaozu had already seen Chen, and furthermore had given the order to set out outside. He shouted Muzhi a question, saying:

You Sir state that Chen's words cannot be followed, what are your thoughts?

Muzhi said:

For a long time the Jin court neglected government, it is not restored in one day. In addition, due to Huan Xuan's usurpation, Heaven's fate has already shifted. Your Excellency rose up to restore the august benediction, an achievement exalted through ten thousand ages. [You] already have great merit, and will easily have great rank. Rank great and achievements exalted is not possible to hold for long. Your Excellency, in today's circumstances, why obtain an unassuming place and weaken yourself, and thereupon become a general who defends the border?

Excellencies Liu and Meng stood up together with Your Excellency from plain clothes, and combined to establish great righteousness. Their original intention to save the ruler was successfully achieved and so they acquired wealth and riches, and that is all. In affairs there is before and after. For that reason, having at one time pushed forward merit, they will not give away themselves and in heart submit, the long-settled division of subject and ruler. When power is opposed by an equal force, in the end they will swallow and chew each other.

Yang province is where the founding roots are bound up, it is not possible to concede to a person. Previously, since it was conferred on Wang Mi, affairs set out on the way of expedience. Why is that from first to last the great plan certainly should be like this, and that is all! Now, suppose it is again used as conferral to another, he readily should accept authority over a person. Once [you] neglect wielding power, nothing can make it possible to obtain it. And yet Your Excellency's merits are exalted and your achievements weighty, it is not possible to straight away set aside them. Suspicion and fear will add to each other, different angles will rise together, the dangers and difficulties that might come cannot be fully studied.

Now when the court debates like this, they are likely reacting and replying to each other, and surely in what they state to us, the phrasing will also be difficult. We should only respond by stating: “At the Divine Province's seat and foundation, the steward assists the honoured midpoint, with the ladder for flourishing and bereavement, and what ought be added to and thoroughly selected. These affairs are already great and not possible to debate at distance. For convenience [I will] temporarily enter court, and together [we will] exhaust similarities and differences.” When Your Excellency arrives at the capital, the others will surely not dare to go past Your Excellency and once more confer on some other person. It is clear!

Gaozu followed his words, and because of that entered to assist.

He accompanied the campaign against Guanggu, and turned back to hold off Lu Xun. He regularly resided within the tent, drawing up strategies, and decided and determined the multitude affairs. Liu Yi and others envied Muzhi being shown intimacy, and were always making instigating words against his authority and weight. Gaozu more and more trusted and relied upon him.

Of what Muzhi heard or saw from outside, there was nothing he was not, great and small, sure to make clear. Even if a villager told a joke, or tiny affairs on the footpaths, he would always after one or two times have heard about it. That Gaozu always obtained the people's trusted secrets, their ebbs and flows, and so demonstrated his bright clarity, it was all because of Muzhi. He also cared fondly for visiting travellers, his staying guests were constantly filling up. He spread out ears and eyes to watch and listen, and for that reason among court and countryside's similarities and differences,Muzhi was never not sure to understand them.

Even the strong and weak points of those personally close to him he always made known and memorialised without hiding [anything]. People sometimes mocked him for it. Muzhi said:

Due to His Excellency's clarity, he might come and meet with my knowledge and insight. I have confronted His Excellency's kindness, the right-principled have nothing to hide or conceal. This is why Zhang Liao reported that Guan Yu intended to rebel.

When Gaozu began or concluded a course of action, Muzhi always sent down the rules and measures. Gaozu's writings were plain and clumsy. Muzhi said:

This is only a little matter. As such, when promulgating that in four directions, [I] wish His Excellency be a little more attentive to his thoughts.

Gaozu just then was unable to arrange his thoughts, but his endowments were evident. Muzhi therefore said:

Indulge your brush to make large characters, one characters a foot in diameter, and there will be nothing to dislike. The large size will be suffice for what is included, and moreover their grandeur will also be pleasing.

Gaozu followed him, and on a single paper did not go past six or seven characters before it was full.

With everyone he endorsed his insights on[?], [those] who did not advance did not come to a stop[?]. He often stated:

Though I do not catch up to Lord Prefect Xun's recommending the good, I do not recommend the not good.

Muzhi and Zhu Lingshi were both at ease with the foot-long tablet [for writing correspondence]. He was often at the Gaozu's seat responding to letters together with Lingshi. From dawn until middle of the day, Muzhi would have gotten hundred envelopes, while Lingshi got eighty, but Muzhi's replied had nothing neglected.

He moved to Marshal to the Central Army and Grand Commandant. 8th Year [412 AD], he was promoted to Governor of Danyang.

When Gaozu went west to chastise Liu Yi, he used Zhuge Changmin to oversee the offices kept behind, to manage and administer rear affairs. Gaozu suspected Changmin would be difficult to rely on alone, and kept behind Muzhi to assist him. He was promoted to General who Establishes Power, to set up assistant functionaries to match and provide his actual strength.

Changmin actually had disloyal plans, but was still preparing and was unable to issue forth. He therefore, away from other people, spoke to Muzhi, saying:

In talk of the uncertain, everyone states that the Grand Commandant and I are not at peace, how has it come to this?

Muzhi said:

His Excellency goes upstream for a far-away attack, and his old mother and young children he entrust under your command. If a single hair was unfinished, why would he permit it like this?

His thoughts were then a little calmed. When Gaozu came back, Changmin submitted to execution.

10th Year [414 AD], advanced Muzhi to General of the Van, and provided the Office of the Van Army a yearly income of 10 000 bolts of cloth and 3 000 000 cash.

11th Year [415 AD], Gaozu went west to attack Sima Xiuzhi. The General of the Centre Army, Daolian, was responsible for the kept behind duties, but in affairs there was nothing, great or small, which was not solely decided by Muzhi. He moved to Archer-Servant of the Right to the Masters of Writing in charge of selections, General and Governor like before.

12th Year [416 AD], Gaozu went on a northern attack, and kept behind the Heir as the General of the Centre Army, overseeing the kept behind office of the Grand Commandant. To assist him, Muzhi became Archer-Servant of the Left, in charge of the Army Ministers of the Army Overseer and Centre Army Offices, General, Governer, and in charge of selections like before, with fifty armoured and armed men when entering the hall, to enter and reside in the Eastern City.

Muzhi inside managed the court's government, and outside provided for the army's journey. His decision-making was like a flow, in affairs nothing was clogging up. His visitors and guests converged like wheel spokes, seeking and complaining of a hundred aspects. Inside and outside consulted and reported, overflowing his stairs and filling his room. His eyes looking at explanations and arguments while his hands answered notes and letters. His eyes were listening and receiving while his mouth also rewarded and responded. Nothing interfered with each other[?], everything was fully supported and lifted up. Also with his many visitors and close guests, in talks and conversations he praised and laughed. During drawn out days and dragging times, he was not once tired or bitter. He cut down what he had of idle leisure time to write letters with his own hand, searching and looking through sections and chapters, collating and settling age-old records.

He was by nature extravagant and sumptuous, his food certain to cover a zhang square. At dawn he always had food prepared for ten people. Since Muzhi was fond of guests and visitors, he never dined alone. Always when time came to eat, he stopped ten of his visitors from going back. [To his close followers] beside the tent he usually sent down food[?], and considered this to be normal. He once informed Gaozu, saying:

Muzhi's house was originally poor and lowly, and admired life in the many palaces. Since [my] worthless shame and onwards [?], though [I] have always lived moderate and restrained, in what is necessary from morning to dawn, [I] have been a little bit excessive and luxuriant. Outside of this, nothing in the slightest will burden Your Excellency.

13th Year [417 AD], he became deeply ill. A decree dispatched a Correct and Upright Gentleman of the Yellow Gates to ask about the illness. 11th Month [25 November – 23 December], he passed on. At the time he was aged fifty-five [sui].

[namtanlovesfilm]

Alright! About the prompts, I really enjoyed your "trapped" fics. I was wondering if you could do one where a restaurant opens up beside tangyi's store and he notices that shaofei has befriended the owner and he gets jealous because all of shaofei's attention is being stolen by the chef and he (tangyi) has this realizationthat he likes shaofei.

here you, hope you enjoy :)

Lunch Break

Show: HIStory3: Trapped

Ship: Tang Yi/Shao Fei

Summary: Tang Yi has gotten used to Shao Fei’s incessant presence in his life for the sake of his investigation. He believes to have everything under control, until he finds Shao Fei flirting with the chef of the restaurant next door. Which makes him realize a very important thing.

Tags: Banter ; Pining ; Canon Compliant

1k words

xxx

[nicolejc]

I was reminded that today 21st October is TangYi's birthday. What to gift him? For sure to gift him his favourite ShaoFei 🧏, the birthday cake🎂 (with my name on it🤭) and the cream kiss 😘...by ShaoFei 😛

[joblessquinoa]

History 3 trapped jack x zhao zi but make it a Way of the House Husband AU

Everyone in the neighborhood is scared of Jack except for the other housewives. They have a lot of fun exchanging recipes with each other

He plays really intense volleyball with them. Sometimes Tangyi pulls up with his crew.

Jack has a food truck and Tangyi has a restaurant, and sometimes they have really intense cook-offs in the middle of the day

Jack would have no problem fighting a door-to-door salesman trying to sell him shitty kitchen knives

[heretherebedork]

Aaanndd the Battle Royale is baccc! And the war is brewing again: Tsundere Edition: a bratty baby but deep inside needs tender with care lol. Aaandd the contestants are:

Shuyi vs. Gene

Tine vs. Pi

Arthit vs. Jin

Kit (2moons2) vs. Kit (Gen Y)

Team (UWMA) vs. Zon

Type (2gether) vs. Chon

Yeon Woo (Color Rush) vs. Luo Yin (Addicted)

Can vs. Duean

Fuse vs. Duen

Kao (DBK) vs. Mork (DBK)

Mes vs. Muren

ZhaoZi vs. ShaoFei

Nuea vs. Ake

Goodluck!

Shuyi vs. Gene

Honestly... yeah, gotta go ShuYi on this one. Gene's like a tsundere light for me, he does his best but he's so obviously in need on love that everyone knows it but him. ShuYi was so tsundere and in denial and then when he broke? Hoo boy, his tsundere breaking point was SO GOOD. And they both turn into total softies.

Tine vs. Pi

I had to go with Pi in the end. Mostly because I feel Pi's tsundere style in my soul and because I feel like Pi has every right to be a tsundere as he damn well pleased. Also, Tine felt more 'denial and anxiety' than tsundere to me? I dunno.

Arthit vs. Jin

What a cruel choice! I love them both so much and they're both so perfect in their roles in the relationship... But I have to go with Arthit. Jin figured things out much, much quicker and was just less tsundere overall than Arthit was. Now, part of that is just when the show is being made but that's a different story that I don't know enough about.

Kit (2moons2) vs. Kit (Gen Y)

I love Gen Y but Kit from 2moons2 is the single best tsundere and has one of my favorite 'dropping the facade' moments of all time, no hesitation of denials. I just absolutely love him and the hard shell that finally cracked to show the softness within. Gen Y Kit never does that as thoroughly and though it works for him, definitely... 2moons2 Kit has to win for my taste.

Team (UWMA) vs. Zon

DAMN what a choice. How... how do I chose? I love them both! And they both try to be in denial. AND Zon turns into a literal puppy and Team was denied a story (PLEASE GIVE US BETWEEN US, BL GODS) and this choice is so hard... I think I have to go with Team, in the end, because of the tiny coffee scene at the end and the soft bed scenes... It's close, though. VERY close.

Type (2gether) vs. Chon

I don't think Cho in a tsundere. So Type wins because he 100% is a tsundere. No question or hesitation about that. And also because I love Type beyond all measure. What a good young man who finally gets his head on straight (lol) and goes soft for Man eventually.

Yeon Woo (Color Rush) vs. Luo Yin (Addicted)

Another hard one! But... but Color Rush! Yeon Woo! He has to win. He's the best, the absolute best, the finest tsundere who goes so, so far to try to escape his own feelings... ugh, yes.

Can vs. Duean

Love Can to death but Duean is the most tsundere idiot to ever idiot. Can also feels like a different kind of denial than Duean and just... less tsundere to me? I dunno. My tsundere vibes are a bit off sometimes.

Fuse vs. Duen

I really hate Duen, frankly. So we gotta give this to Fuse. Duen is just all booo and yuck and make him go away and Fuse is cute and softness and slowly realizes what he wants/needs and it's good. You know what, my favorite part of a tsundere character is when they break out of that shell.

Kao (DBK) vs. Mork (DBK)

Honestly, my memory of DBK is rough AF so... this is based on my not liking Mork as much as Kao.

Mes vs. Muren

I gotta go with MuRen. His thin, fragile icy shell was so easily shattered and it was so adorable and the way he nodded so tiny as LiChen talked to him? Yes. Yes, please, more of that.

ZhaoZi vs. ShaoFei

Neither of these boys are a tsundere. They're not. ZZ is the softest boy in the world and ShaoFei confesses first and tries to win TangYi over. Nope. No tsundere here. Love them, though!

Nuea vs. Ake

I question if Nuea is truely a tsundere... but I like him so much than Ake. I had to give this to him. I should probably rewatch eps 1+2, though. I feel like I barely remember TueAke at this point...

[ctl-yuejie]

Meng ShaoFei and his Father-In-Law

[dangerliesbeforeyou]

shao fei as merlin painting is done & will b posted in a couple days woop! 

[weilongfu]

!! I once thought to myself randomly. What if LiZhen never put Tangyi up for adoption? Law student/lawyer Tangyi can't seem to stand Meng Shao Fei. Who is he and why does his mom keep inviting him over for dinner? Especially when each meal ends with a debate and Tangyi's disbelief at ShaoFei's insistence that the world is black and white. Yes isn't always yes. The world is not that simple. But Tangyi soon realises, he is in love with ShaoFei. And it's as simple as that. (THIS GOT OUT OF HAND.)

I’m not sure Shao Fei is the one who believes everything is black and white, at least at some point in the show he tells Yi Qi that it isn’t. But I’ll see what I can do.

-------

“Ah Yi, won’t you take a break from studying and have some dinner soon?” Li Zhen stood at the doorway to Tang Yi’s room. “I made some of your favorites tonight. Especially the gnocchi Tang Guo Dong makes.”

Tang Yi paused in his highlighting of his notes. “You made spicy gnocchi?”

Li Zhen smiled, a small thing that just barely reached her eyes. “Yes, with sausage and all the other things you like. I also bought some of those pickled sour vegetables you like and-”

Tang Yi slapped down his highlighter. “You invited Officer Meng to dinner again, didn’t you.”

“What ever made you think that?”

“Ma, you’re a police officer, and you’re terrible at lying.”

“I just don’t understand why you two don’t get along. Ah Fei is a good officer. He’d be a good friend for you.”

“He’s so...”

“So what?”

“So... fixated.”

Li Zhen snorted. “There are worse things for a police officer to be.”

“He debated with me for a week over a case with a clear precedent and enough evidence to convict.”

“Well clearly it wasn’t enough evidence if Ah Fei wasn’t convinced.”

“He debated me two weeks about a case that YOU solved.”

“I admit, he made some good points.”

“Ma, he wouldn’t stop asking me what my favorite color is for a whole week until I told him.”

“And why didn’t you tell him in the first place?” Tang Yi fell silent and Li Zhen only said, “He’ll be here at eight. Make sure you’re ready for dinner by then,” before she left.

------

As his mother had promised, Shao Fei showed up at eight, dressed as casually as ever and with that ridiculous curl in his hair sticking up. Tang Yi had the urge to smooth it down or cut it off. It was a fairly accurate barometer for how he was feeling due to Shao Fei’s argumentative nature.

Today, Shao Fei was starting at a negative since Tang Yi wanted nothing more than to tie him down and snip the curl off hair by hair.

“Ah Fei, I’m glad you could join us.” Li Zhen directed him to the table where Tang Yi was already sitting. 

“Tang Yi! It’s good to see you again!” Shao Fei offered his hand and Tang Yi only glared at it. “Uh... How have your studies been? I heard there were some really interesting cases this week that you were looking into as examples.”

Tang Yi sighed and picked up his chopsticks. “I’d like to avoid another debate today, Officer Meng. I get enough of that in class.”

Shao Fei looked to Li Zhen who looked back at him. “Um.. Right! So how about the weather?”

“Terrible.”

“It’s been sunny all day?”

“I meant your conversation skills.” This time, even Li Zhen winced.

------

The next dinner and all other dinners after that, Shao Fei had made numerous attempts at conversation. Some more successful than others, but if there was one thing Tang Yi was thankful for, it was that Shao Fei had directed his fixation to the slight Tang Yi had dealt about his talking skills instead of talking at Tang Yi. 

At some point, Tang Yi found himself engaging in the conversation at last. Shao Fei, now that he’d had some more practice, was witty and clever. The first time Shao Fei had gotten Tang Yi to laugh had surprised everyone. 

Soon, Shao Fei was over for dinner every night and Tang Yi started to look forward to their banter. 

Things started to change the night that Li Zhen had gone out for a case and Shao Fei had turned up for dinner all the same. 

“I’m so sorry. Li Zhen-Jie didn’t tell me she’d be on a stakeout tonight. I... I could go? If you want?”

Tang Yi sighed and dragged Shao Fei into the kitchen. “I’m not interested in going hungry while you act miserable. Make yourself useful and help me cook.”

Together, the two made omelette rice and Li Zhen returned home to ketchup stained faces and sticky hand prints, the likes of which she had not seen since Tang Yi was five, all over her counters and fridge. But Tang Yi and Shao Fei were comfortably sitting together on the couch, having fallen asleep with the TV on.

------

Li Zhen found reasons to be out of the house for another two weeks. Each time she returned, Shao Fei had come by for dinner and had ended up closer than ever with Tang Yi until the last day. This time when Li Zhen returned, she found Shao Fei kissing Tang Yi passionately over the kitchen sink, soap bubbles from washing dishes everywhere, soapy palms leaving hand prints on each other’s shirts. 

Without making a sound, Li Zhen backed away. She could always spend the night elsewhere. It was important to be a supportive mother, especially since she’d worked so hard to match the two up. They could break the news to her in the morning. There was no way Shao Fei wasn’t going to stay for breakfast at the rate they were going.

[bucksbisexual]

oh my god tangyi didn't just WILLINGLY walk into a police office just because shaofei had his phone turned off i swear to god-

[florbexter]

Hiii, sorry if I’m making you do more than you should but pretty please, can you write a small one shot of Shaofei returning the tie (the one that wrapped his wound) to Tangyi and Tangyi wears it out for the day?

Hey! Thank you so much for your prompt! I totally forgot about the tie but you’re right, he should have given Tang Yi the tie back! And I see Shao Fei as someone who would have done that :D 

It took me a long while to write this but now it’s part of the March Madness Collection and I hope you’ll like this ^.^

Tied up in knots | AO3 link

Shao Feihad been to five dry cleaners with the tie. He had left the first three withouttelling them what he wanted them to clean. He had no idea why. He was a cop. Itwouldn’t be too weird for him to have blood on a piece of clothing…

He had leftthe fourth cleaning business because a little child had stood beside the woman,looking at him with big eyes, hiding behind the counter. Shao Fei had tried toexplain what had happened (and he had no idea why he had the need to justifyhimself) but his eyes had wandered to the child all the time and then he hadleft. 

Should heeven clean the tie and give it back to Tang Yi? Tang Yi had a suit shop. Itwasn’t irrational to assume that he had a big pile of ties. Would he evennotice this very tie was missing? 

The oldlady in the fifths dry cleaning store had taken one look at it, had snatched itout of Shao Fei’s hand and had said: “Blood, right? I can get the stains out inthree days. Cash only!”

Shao Feihad not dared to disagree, so he had been back in three days and paid for thecleaned tie. And it was clean, as far as he could tell. It was black, so hehadn’t really seen the bloodstains in the first place but Tang Yi had carriedhim down the mountain to safety and had made sure that he was taken care off inthe hospital so the least Shao Fei could do was to give him back a cleantie. 

He lookeddown at it in the little plastic wrap and felt silly. Zhao Zi had said to justbuy Tang Yi a new one. 

“Whatever,”Shao Fei mumbled and threw it on the passenger seat of his car and tried to getall the weird thoughts out of his head. It laid there for over a week and everytime he climbed in his car, he saw the tie and shook his head and didn’t knowwhy he wouldn’t drive to Tang Yi’s shop or office or home to just throw the tieat him? He had thought about holding it hostage until Tang Yi told him whathappened four years ago, but he was relatively sure that that would be thefirst time Tang Yi would openly laugh at him. Not just a smirk but a full-onbelly laugh. It was almost tempting for that sight alone…

“Again… avery weird thought,” he said to his steering wheel after he wanted to driveaway from a witness interview. Tang Yi’s shop wasn’t far away so maybe he couldjust give his store manager the tie? She already knew him. She was the one whohad measured his body so they could rip him off a little fortune. He still hadno idea what to do with the suit he had bought. The captain had forbidden himto annoy Tang Yi at his home or office anyway so what choices did he have?

The emptyparking spot in front of the shop was like a sign and he stopped questioninghimself and entered the store. 

It alwaysfelt like time worked differently in Tang Yi’s shop. It felt old, but moreancient then outdated and Shao Fei felt out of place. He never liked chasingTang Yi down to this shop. Or maybe it was because of all these expensive suitsand how they didn’t really seem to fit him. 

“OfficerMeng.” The store manager bowed in greeting and smiled politely. Shao Fei wasconvinced that her smile became more and more strained the more he visited, andhe was secretly pleased about it. She could strangle him with her measuringtape, he was sure of it, but annoyed people tend to snap at some point andsnapping meant saying things they don’t want to say… he firmly believed thatshe knew more about Tang Yi and his ‘real’ business than she let one. Maybe oneday she would crack. 

He smiledhis most polite smile and offered her the tie. 

“I justwanted to bring this back. Your boss lent it to me.”

She lookedat him for a moment and he felt a bit silly thrusting out the tie to her. 

“I broughtit to a dry cleaner first of course. It’s clean now.”

“What isclean now, Officer Meng?”

Shao Fei andthe store manager turned around in unison to Tang Yi, and Shao Fei may havelaughed at the synchronicity of their movement if Tang Yi’s appearance hadn’tmade him a bit speechless. He had been so sure that Tang Yi wouldn’t be in hisstore today. Did he have his timetable wrong? It was Thursday morning… hewasn’t supposed to be here! 

He openedhis mouth to say something, to ask Tang Yi why he wasn’t at the Metro BusinessHotel, but Tang Yi made a gesture with his hand and the store managerdisappeared on light feet. In his head, Shao Fei had given the tie to her andleft and now he was standing in front of Tang Yi, who wore a black tie with acrisp white button-down, less colourful and less patterned than he was familiarwith and he felt really silly with the tie in his hand. 

“It’s a bitearly for one of your delightful interrogations,” Tang Yi drawled and theeyebrow he raised was blatantly mocking Shao Fei. They hadn’t seen each othersince they had tried to flee from the mountain and Shao Fei had a bit of aproblem matching the Tang Yi he knew and had chased for more than four yearswith the Tang Yi he had met in the little abandoned house next to a fire. Itwas like trying to fit two cut-outs over another until you must admit that youcan’t move the scissor the exact same way twice. 

“Your tie,”Shao Fei said instead of the questions he really wanted to ask, like, how TangYi had been if he slept better and why he wouldn’t talk to Shao Fei!?

“It’sclean, obviously.” 

Shao Feiprided himself in knowing Tang Yi’s micro-expressions but maybe it was hisfluttering heart making it impossible to read Tang Yi’s mimic. There was a rushin his ears, and it got worse because Tang Yi stepped closer and took the tieout of his hand.

Shao Feiwas someone who ripped up packages and presents. Tang Yi, apparently, needed totake his time opening the little plastic bag the tie was wrapped in. He foldedthe tie out and the fabric slid through his fingers making Shao Fei feel likehe was seeing something obscene. His chest felt tight with some unnamedemotion, or better, an emotion he couldn’t stop feeling since their night inthe mountains. 

Shao Feiwanted to say something, anything, but he could just stand there and watch asTang Yi opened the tie he already wore and put on the other one. He didn’t evenneed a mirror; his fingers unknotted the old one with deft movements and heknotted up the new on even faster. 

Shao Feiblinked and blinked because there was no space between them to look anywhereelse and if he would take a step back, he would be enfolded by a rack of suits.Why was this store so small? Why was Tang Yi changing ties? Why was he notfinding words? He was good at talking! He knew how to avoid silence withmindless chatter and…

“Thank youfor bringing the tie back,” Tang Yi said and then he flattened the tie on hisbody with his hand and who did that? Shao Fei wanted to throw up his arms inconfusion.

“You’rewelcome, I mean… that’s the least I could do. It’s your tie, it was my fault itgot blood on it, wasn’t it? You carried me down the mountain and got me intothe hospital and…”

“How’s yourwound?”

“What?”Shao Fei had talked himself in a kind of frenzy and had thought his last wordscould be something like ‘however, have a nice day, bye’ and he could leavethis very confusing situation, but Tang Yi didn’t get the memo.

Shao Feitouched his right arm as if he had to remind himself that yes, he had a woundthere. He had a bandage over it during the day so it wouldn’t tear open. 

“It’s okay.It’s almost healed. The stitches are out, and it looks good, I guess.” 

“I’m glad,”Tang Yi said. 

“You’reglad?”

“You soundsurprised? Do you think I want my favourite policeman injured, OfficerMeng?” 

“Yourfavourite…? Are you mocking me?”

There was agrin hiding in the corner of Tang Yi’s mouth and Shao Fei had the sudden urgeto hunt it until it became a full-fledged smile. The more he thought about it,the more he looked past the case of Li Zhen, the more he realised how much ofhis urge to chase Tang Yi was because of the man himself and not because of the knowledge he had.

It was anunsettling thought.

Tang Yididn’t seem to notice that his person was about to claim every thought in ShaoFei’s mind. He just stepped closer, closed the distance between them and ShaoFei took a step back.

“What Ialways wondered”, Tang Yi said, and Shao Fei felt the suits touching his back.

Normally,Shao Fei was the one getting up into other people’s spaces. It was a greatintimidation tactic and he had the feeling he got a good grasp on what anervous gulp, the widening of pupils or the thrumming of a pulse under the skinmeant. He had no problem breathing down someone’s neck and it was a biteye-opening to see how it felt when he wasn’t the one initiating theclose-up. He couldn’t even remember the last time he had stepped back froma suspect.

“I alwayswondered,” Tang Yi said and suddenly his fingers were around the collar of ShaoFei’s denim jacket, pulling at the material. “Why don’t you have a dress codeas detectives? You run around in uniforms otherwise but the moment you getpromoted it doesn’t matter anymore? Your appearance?”

There wasthe light touch of Tang Yi’s finger on his neck and Shao Fei felt it all theway down in his stomach. A buzzing feeling spread through his whole body. Heknew he was being insulted, but Tang Yi stayed way too close and his eyes,deep and dark, travelled from Shao Fei’s jacket to his own hand as if it wasfascinating what his fingers were doing.

Shao Feiswallowed.

A phone wasringing and destroyed whatever spell Tang Yi had woven around them. Shao Feiwasn’t even sure what he had said to escape the situation or if he had justfled without a word, but he found himself back in his car with a wild poundingheart and a dry throat. He raised his own hand to touch the patch of skin TangYi had… caressed. There was no other word for it. It hadn’t been anaccidental touch.

He wasflustered about it he realized and with a groan, he put his head against thesteering wheel.

+++

“Is everythingalright?”

Shao Feiblinked and looked up at Yu Qi who frowned in concern at the chocolate wrappersdecorating most of his desk. He was a stress eater.

It wasjust a tie, hewanted to say to her.

He lookedback at the document open on his computer and saw that he had written tiein the report about an attempted robbery.

“Just a bittired,” he said and closed the file. It was almost the end of his shift, but itfelt like he had been awake for days. Had the encounter with Tang Yi reallyhappened this morning?

“I thinkI’m going home for today.” Yu Qi smiled at him and nodded in agreement. Shetook the files he had worked on and dumbed them on Zhao Zi’s desk.

“Take agood rest,” she said cheerfully and now he had no choice but to shut down hiscomputer and take his jacket. Suddenly he stood outside of the building andlooked up at the darkening sky. The weather was still pleasant, and he thoughtabout taking a stroll through the market a few streets over when he saw afamiliar figure at the edge of his vision.

Shao Feiwas devoted to his work. He knew that and the emotional shortcomings he hadrelated to that. Sometimes it took him a long time to realize what was goingon, but he was quick to accept those feelings because why dwell on somethinghis heart knew all along?

Realizingthat everything wasn’t as black and white as he had thought took time and, ashe now grasped, also a bit of pain. He massaged the skin above his heart andknew that he could decide. He could ignore Tang Yi leaning against his car orhe could walk up to him.

He stillwore the tie.

“OfficerMeng,” Tang Yi said as Shao Fei approached, and it sounded more like a pet namethan an insult. It started an ache in Shao Fei’s stomach.

There wasno one around besides them and the sinking sun highlighted Tang Yi’s hair andmade his eyes shine. Was he now allowed to think about how breathtakinglybeautiful Tang Yi was?

“What can Ido for you Tang Yi?”, Shao Fei asked.  

“Today ismy birthday,” Tang Yi said, and Shao Fei blinked. Oh… Oh, he knew that.He opened his mouth to say, ‘Happy Birthday’ but Tang Yi interrupted himbefore he could: “And I have a wish.”

It feltlike he was finally able to see as if there had been a veil over his eyes andTang Yi’s little touch, had lifted it. Shao Fei could see the want in Tang Yi’seyes, even though his face was as impassive as ever. Had he always wanted ShaoFei that way? The thought made him breathless.

“Okay,”Shao Fei said easily and didn’t hesitate as Tang Yi opened the car door forhim.

They endedup in a little apartment. A secret hiding? A safe house? Shao Fei knew thatTang Yi lived in a big mansion on the outskirt of Taipei, but he wouldn’t askif this was a lover’s nest rented for the purpose of one-night stands.

Was he aone-night stand? Shao Fei didn’t do casual. He had no idea how to be casual.

Shao Feihovered in the hallway and watched as Tang Yi slipped out of his suit jacket,hanging it, like the neat freak he probably was, on a coat rack. Shao Feislipped out of his shoes and had the urge to kick them in a corner.

“I didn’tknow about this apartment,” he blurred out and thankfully Tang Yi just smiledat him.

“No onebesides me knows about it,” he answered and helped Shao Fei out of his jacket.

“Not evenHong Ye?” Shao Fei doubted that those two did anything without informing theother.

Tang Yilaughed soundlessly and tilted his head. It made him look young and mischievousand it threw Shao Fei off a little bit. Sometimes he forgot that Tang Yi wastwo years younger than him.

They stoodclose now.

Shao Feisaw how Tang Yi scanned his face with his eyes and even though Shao Fei gotinto his car and followed him to this apartment, he still seemed to think theball was in Shao Fei’s court.

Was he supposedto say it out loud? That he was ready for whatever they were going to do here?Of course, he wasn’t ready, but he was willing to fake his confidence until heknew how to stop his heart from bursting out of his chest. He bit his lips andhis eyes travelled down from Tang Yi’s face to his neck down his chest.

The tie wasstill around Tang Yi’s collar.

Shao Feitook it and caressed the fabric. It was nice, he had to admit and with his eyesstubbornly on the task at hand, he loosened the knot. It opened quickly and ashe pulled the two strands apart his eyes fell to the skin above his fingers,still hidden by the collar of Tang Yi’s shirt. He put one finger against TangYi’s neck and smiled helplessly as he felt his racing pulse.

“Happybirthday,” he said and felt a heavy surge of arousal and confidence as he sawand felt Tang Yi swallow. Tang Yi’s pupils were blown wide open when Shao Feilooked back at him.

He grabbedTang Yi’s face and kissed him.

There was asoftness to Tang Yi’s lips he hadn’t expected, and he chased it frantically.Tang Yi’s hands slipped under his shirt and gosh he hadn’t known. Why hadn’t heknown?

It was alearning curve to kiss Tang Yi and he hesitantly tried to deepen the kiss,licking at Tang Yi’s upper lip, biting and sucking until Tang Yi moaned andShao Fei felt his fingers tighten on his skin. This was good, he thoughtdizzyingly as Tang Yi put kisses on his jawline up to his ear and Shao Feiburied his fingers in Tang Yi’s hair, when Tang Yi bit him playful in one earlobe.So good.

And he feltpowerful. Not in a way as if he suddenly had the upper hand on Tang Yi, but ina way that made him realize how big his heart could feel. He felt powerful andscared and vulnerable. Tang Yi undressed him and that was another kind ofvulnerability. He buried his face in Tang Yi’s neck and tried to hide from histhoughts and Tang Yi’s gaze but that made it impossible for Tang Yi to unbuttonhis shirt. But maybe Tang Yi knew him better than he had thought because hedidn’t try to look at Shao Fei’s face, instead, he hugged him and caressed ShaoFei’s back in long, soothing strokes. From his neck to his tailbone, withpressure, but gentle. Up and down.

Why? Whydid he feel so comfortable in the arms of a gangster, someone who was a potentialmurderer, who had answers to Shao Fei most burning questions? Why was he notrunning away?

Why – TangYi kissed him behind his ear and a full-body shiver ran over Shao Fei. Hegrabbed Tang Yi’s face again and kissed him deeply. There was a desperation toit he couldn’t stop.  He pushed Tang Yibackwards, towards the bed he had seen the moment he had stepped a foot intothis tiny apartment. They bounced a little when they fell on the mattress andShao Fei laughed breathlessly against Tang Yi’s skin. The skin of his neck,soft and addictive and Shao Fei might have touched other people before, butTang Yi felt so knew as if Shao Fei had unlearned anything from before Tang Yi.

“What doyou want?”, he asked while they tried to undress each other. It wasn’t an easytask; mostly because they needed to kiss and caress every bit of skin which gotuncovered.

“What doyou want?”, Shao Fei asked again and unbend to wriggle out of his jeans. Healmost fell off the bed but, in the end, he smiled triumphally and then smiledagainst Tang Yi’s lips as he pulled him down to him again.

“So much,”Tang Yi answered, and Shao Fei got lost in the expression in his eyes, thenaked lust in them and the way his fingers ran through the hair on the back ofhis head. Tang Yi kissed him, kissed him slowly, kissed him deliberately as ifhe wanted to make sure Shao Fei was going to remember how it felt to be kissedby him. How could he ever forget? Shao Fei melted against Tang Yi, his bodyweak and at this moment, he knew that he had been born to be kissed by Tang Yi.

Shao Feihad no clear memory on how they got undressed, where their clothes landed orwhose hands opened whose buttons but he remembered the gasp he let out whenthey embraced each other naked, the way Tang Yi’s skin felt under his hands,silky and smooth.

Tang Yi hadfound his favourite spot on Shao Fei’s collarbone, nipping and nuzzling at itwhile their bodies began to get slippery from sweat. A bittersweet ache sweptthrough Shao Fei’s body and when Tang Yi’s clever hands found his dick, he hadto take a deep breath because suddenly it all got too overwhelming and he hadthe feeling he could come on the spot.

“Oh fuck,”he said breathlessly, and Tang Yi smiled against his lips as if he wasdelighted by Shao Fei’s inability to control himself. Shao Fei held his breathand wanted to push Tang Yi gently away, but he already rolled to the side andhis mind had just stopped spinning when Tang Yi put a bottle of lube into hishands.

“You wantto kill me,” he groaned but Tang Yi only smiled at him, a regal smile, an ‘Iwant you to pleasure me’ smile and leaned back, obviously comfortable inhis nakedness and his desire to get Shao Fei’s fingers on him. Shao Fei climbedon top of him to kiss the smug smile from his lips and the lube fell from hishands because kissing Tang Yi was heaty and distracting and good.

He decidedthen and there that he needed to travel down Tang Yi’s body with his mouth,because his fingers weren’t to be trusted for remembering Tang Yi correctly.Tang Yi was encouraging every lick and every bite and every kiss with hisfingers in Shao Fei’s hair, caressing or pulling, with the roll of hips againsthim. He gasped – shocked - when Shao Fei began to tease him with his wetfingers and it was Shao Fei turn to feel smug that Tang Yi hadn’t been able tokeep track of the bottle of lube, but the intimacy took his breath away, howTang Yi opened to his fingers, writhing on them and Shao Fei said “Fuck” butwhat he wanted to say was: ‘If we never going to do this again, I will die.’Tang Yi arched his body towards him, and Shao Fei was lost in the smell andfeel of him. He mouthed along Tang Yi’s hipbone and tried to get a grip on hisimpatience, he wanted to slow down, but Tang Yi commanded to be faster, orslower or ‘Yes, right there’.

Tang Yiburied his hands in Shao Fei’s hair to pull him up to him and then it was amess of sorting limbs, the condom wrapper and Tang Yi turned on his side andShao Fei began to press into him and knew that he hurt Tang Yi with his fingerswhich dug into his tight and he moaned his pleasure against Tang Yi’s back,helplessly, utterly wrecked.

Then TangYi’s hand was on his buttocks and Shao Fei had to press forward and Tang Yijust held him there, and the pressure made Shao Fei see stars. “Fuck”, hewhispered and looked up. Tang Yi had bent his head back, the bliss clearlyvisible on his face and Shao Fei jerked, the upward thrust almost impossiblewith the way Tang Yi held him still with his hand. He put tiny, little bitesalong Tang Yi’s neck until he was at his ear and whispered, “let me”. h

He loosenedTang Yi’s hold on his butt and Tang Yi’s mouth fell open in a silent moan asShao Fei started to move in short jerky moves. Tang Yi met him in a slow,deliberate rhythm and when Tang Yi cursed as Shao Fei snaked his hand aroundhis hip to get a hold of his erection Shao Fei laughed, a punched-out breatheof air. He felt flushed and hot and indescribable happy and it was a revelationto see Tang Yi caught in the throats of passion, uninhibited, his moans loud inthe room while he moved his body to take what he wanted. Shao Fei held himselfstill and let Tang Yi use his body, let him move on his dick, let him use hishand to get pleasure at the forward thrust and when Tang Yi moved his head ShaoFei got the note and put his mouth behind Tang Yi’s ear, coaxing husky soundsof pleasure out of him.

It feltincredible and time became a blur, they got lost in the back and forth of theirbodies, the slide of Shao Fei inside Tang Yi; sometimes smooth sometimeserratic and when he felt his orgasm approach he hugged Tang Yi tight, his mouthopen against his shoulder blade, pushing and pushing and it was still a shock,the wave of pleasure sweeping through his body, the pressure suddenly gone, hisbody felt numb and alive at the same time, was he shaking? His heart raced andhe laughed helplessly and groaned when he felt Tang Yi stiffen and then thewarm release of his orgasm on his fingers.

“Happybirthday,” he said, and Tang Yi laughed as he found his hand and squeezed.

+++

Shao Feiwoke up to the soft lighting of the dawn. He felt disorientated for a moment,turned around and almost hit Tang Yi in the face… Tang Yi. Shao Fei stared athim for a few seconds.

He lookedsoft, with his hair falling in his face, his mouth slightly open, while hebreathed evenly. Shao Fei wanted to touch him, but he had no idea if the ruleshad changed, what had changed between them, what was he allowed to do?

He slippedout of bed and found his underwear. His phone was in his jacket and it showedhim that he had to go home and change if he wanted to be ready for work ontime. Tang Yi was still asleep, sprawling across the bed and Shao Fei had tothink about their conversation in the mountains. Was this one of the rare timesTang Yi allowed himself to sleep?

Shao Feitiptoed around the room and dressed. He suppressed the urge to go back to thebed to look at Tang Yi because he had no idea what to say if he woke up. On hisway out of the apartment, he spotted the tie and whatever urge made him pick itup and put it in his pocket he didn’t question it.

+++

Shao Feistared at the glass of water in his hands and since he had left Tang Yi’s apartment,he wasn’t sure how he should feel. Guilty, indifferent, ecstatic?

The day hadpassed in a haze of cases, interviews, and paperwork and he had remembered thenight with Tang Yi at the weirdest times. It had always been as if time stoodstill, or maybe more of a slow-motion of the reality around him while heremembered the way Tang Yi’s hair had tickled his face or the weight of hisdick in his hand, the taste of his lips, their fight with the blanket, alltangle up, when they had wanted to slip under it to sleep.

Hisdoorbell rang. Shao Fei frowned at the clock. It was past midnight and hecouldn’t think of someone who would visit him at this hour… maybe somebody hadused the wrong doorbell, but he pressed the intercom button anyway.

“Yes?”

“It’s me.”

Shao Feifelt that his pulse took up speed and he realized how much he had wanted it to beTang Yi.

“I have toreport a robbery. You’re really brazen for a detective to steal from me.” Therewas a growl in Tang Yi’s voice and Shao Fei smiled.

“Everyonehas layers,” he said and pressed the buzzer. He opened the door to listen forTang Yi’s footsteps on the staircase and felt agitated but in a good way. Werethose the famous butterflies doing looping’s in his stomach?

Tang Yifrowned up at him the moment he spotted Shao Fei and Shao Fei knew that heprobably shouldn’t smile at that, but he found it sexy.

“Come in,”he said.

Tang Yi’sfrowned deepened when he saw his tie around Shao Fei’s neck and Shao Fei knewthat it must look weird but he hadn’t been able to suppress the urge to wear itafter he had found it in his trousers while he had changed for work. He wasdriven on instinct when Tang Yi was concerned.

Tang Yislipped out of his shoes and pushed them next to Shao Fei’s as if it was themost natural thing in the world. He glanced around, scanned Shao Fei’s littleapartment, but his eyes landed on Shao Fei again quickly, his look intense anddark as he eyed him from head to toes.

I have yourfingerprints on my butt, Shao Fei wanted to say and hid his smile behind hishand, masking it as a cough. Tang Yi squinted at him. Maybe he should feelanxiety or embarrassment, but he just wanted to smile.

“Do youwant something to drink?”, he asked but Tang Yi shook his head.

“No. I’mhere to complain about Taipei’s police force. It’s an abuse of power.”

“What is?”

“Stealing atie and then wearing it yourself.”

It wasn’tabout the tie; Shao Fei knew that. It was probably about the way Shao Fei haddisappeared in the morning, without a word. But as a defence: Shao Fei had noidea how to act around a one-nightstand. What were the rules? Should he haveleft a note?

He had adecision to make, he realized. Like he had done when he went into Tang Yi’scar. And like then it was a one-time offer. Yes or no.

The waterspilt out of the glass when he put it on the kitchen table, but he didn’tcare.

He spreadhis arms and said: “You’re more than welcome to get the tie back.”

Tang Yibegan to smile.

+~end~+