#hi i am trash cousin

[the-lights-are-loud]

Light's House as Batfam Part 4

Bruce keeps a handful of Frooties candies in his suit pockets for when his kids were younger and never grew out of the habit.

Jon, who came over to hang out with Damian for the afternoon, walks past Bruce, who sneakily hands him a candy: Thanks, Uncle Bruce!

Damian, staring at the candy Bruce handed him: Frootie?

Jon: I should call him the Frootie Uncle!

Dick, who was walking behind Bruce and collecting the candy wrappers: Oh, definitely call him the Frootie Uncle. But what does that make me?

Damian: Trash Cousin.

Masterlist

[yuutryingtowrite]

Yandere!Barista who is the “poster boy”of the coffee shop he works at. It is honestly deserved: he has a pretty face, a charming smile and a playful yet sweet attitude. He is especially popular among the girls…who he keeps rejecting. He is just not looking for something casual, you know? He dates to marry, not to be someone’s eye-candy.

Yandere!Barista who, one day, sees you walk into the store. Is that a Corroded Coffin shirt you have on ? He loves that band! This is what he tells you when it is your turn to order. What do you mean he looks too much like a goody two-shoes to be a fan? Alright, Miss “I am so dark and edgy”, what do you want to order? Black coffee? The banter goes on until he has to shoo you away, with an amused smile, as the other people in line are starting to get impatient.

Yandere!Barista who glances your way every chance he gets. Not only are you fun to talk to, but you also look really cute. Sometimes, between orders, he gets to converse with you. He eagerly returns your small wave when it is time for you to leave. As he goes to your table to collect the receipt, he finds your cup still there. On it, there is a small doodle of him along with your number. A pink hue dusts his cheeks as he brings a hand to cover the side of his face. He is definitely keeping that cup.

Yandere!Barista who saved your number under “Cutie <3”. The more you text each other, the more you hang out together, the more he becomes obsessed. It is honestly starting to scare him. The other night, he had your cup in his hands to look at the doodle. Next thing he knew, he had his lips where yours had been when you were drinking from it. It flustered him so much, he threw the cup in the trash bin afterwards…only to go get it back five minutes later…He is asking you out on a date for sure next time he sees you.

Yandere!Barista who does your coffee with trembling hands. He really doesn���t want to do this, but you didn’t leave him a choice. Today, on your usual table, you are sitting with a man other than him. He can’t possibly lose the only person who took the time to get to know him beyond his looks. The drug should work in about fifteen minutes, five minutes after closing time. This should be perfect, you always wait for him to close the shop and walk home together. He can do this, he can do this, he can do this…You will be happy at his house, you will be happy with him. It is with a heavy mind and painful heart that he gives you your order.

Yandere!Barista who you got pinned against the wall of the storage room, one hand beside his head and the other one holding your cup. He is as white as a ghost. He keeps looking around. He is sweating all over. This couldn’t be. You couldn’t possibly know- You firmly grab his jaw and turn his face towards you. “Drink”, you say coldly. What are you gonna do to him after he becomes unconscious? Will you report him to the police? Will you hurt him? He closes his eyes tightly as you bring the cup to his lips. The moment it reaches them, you drop it on the floor and replace it with your lips. His eyes open in shock as you give him a small, tender kiss. “That was my cousin, idiot”, you tell him affectionately. You look at him for a couple more seconds before putting on your bag. He is still frozen in place as you add: “Tomorrow, 6pm, at my house. Alright?”. You leave before he can answer.

Yandere!Barista who slides down the wall until he is sitting on the floor. All that is left of him is a blushing, quivering mess. With shaky fingers, he touches his lips; a small whimper involuntarily comes out his mouth. He is about to combust. He feels so weak, he can’t get up. You scared the shit out of him, but that was so hot ahh…He didn’t know you could be this assertive. And that kiss…he buries his face in his hands and groans. Kissing you is all he has ever dreamed of, yet he stayed still like a dumbass when it finally happened. He is so lame-you make him so lame. Guess tomorrow would be his chance to redeem himself.

[marauder-misprint]

Bed

Sirius Black x gn!reader

microfic - 574 words

cw: fluff, established relationship, implied/stated sexual activity (not described)

You always found a certain level of intimacy upon seeing someone’s room for the first time. It was a window into their personal life, their individual being. You tried not to take the vulnerability of sharing their safe space for granted, whether it be your childhood friends or cousins, or now, your boyfriend Sirius. 

You had been in his dorm at Hogwarts many times. And as special as that was in its own right, it was still a shared space with James, Remus and Peter. It was a mix of all of them. Sirius’ room at the Potters was his own. You didn’t know how it compared to his room at his parents, but it didn’t matter. This room was so Sirius. 

You sigh as you take in the room, leaning against the doorframe. The unmade bed with more than enough pillows. The posters of motorcycles and musicians that adorned the walls, along with several Gryffindor banners and a singular Quidditch banner for the team he supported (a gift from James, no doubt). A desk that was an organized mess, similar to his at school, but this one wasn’t covered in unfinished homework. His closet door was open, revealing leather jackets and various shirts, and some boxes on the ground that appeared to hold various trinkets. The window was cracked open with a small crystal ashtray and crimson red lighter on the sill. Even with the window letting in fresh air, the room smelled of Sirius. 

“You can come in, you know,” Sirius says, picking up some trash off the floor and tossing it into the bin. “Effie doesn’t mind.”

You smile and take a step in. James’ mum wasn’t why you were standing outside. Despite having been intimate with Sirius more times than you could count, you wanted to give him the space of his own room, only entering when invited like a vampire.

He lays down on his bed and holds open his arms for you.

“Come here, baby.”

“Sirius Orion Black, are you asking me to come to bed with you?” you ask with a cheeky grin.

“Darling, you know I am,” he replies with a wink and you collapse onto his bed.

He pulls you closer to his chest, nuzzling his dead into the crook of his neck. It forces you to giggle. Featherlight kisses dust your desk and up to your cheek. You wriggle in his grasp in an attempt to turn around so you can see him, but his hold on your waist is ironclad. You are stuck as he presses his body into yours. 

“Sirius!” you whine, still trying to turn.

“Baby,” he whines back.

“Let. Me. Go,” you say, aggressively twisting your hips at each word.

“Don’t wanna,” he mumbles after returning his face to your neck. “I have you in my own bed and I don’t plan on letting go.”

You sigh. “But imagine what we could get up to if you did let go!”

You hear a disgusted noise from outside the room. James peeks his head in with his hands over his eyes.

“If you’re going to be… doing things, at least have the decency to close the door!” he says accusingly. 

Sirius barks out a laugh and rolls over with you still in his arms.

“‘M not doing anything yet…” he grumbles. “Would’ve closed the door before too much came off.”

“Sirius!” you chastise despite having implied such activities only moments before. 

[kingkat12]

quickie (roman godfrey x reader)

WARNINGS: 18+, piv sex, party sex, semi-public sex, established relationship, drunk-ish sex, Roman is shameless and drunk lol, alcohol mentions

summary: Roman can't keep his hands off you-- no matter where you are.

word count: 1,581

It was hard to fight Roman’s grip around me, especially since he towered heads above me— I knew it was a lost cause. 

However, I was pissed. Pissed about how he had behaved at tonight's party, and how he had managed to get so drunk that he was grabbing at me at every opportunity. “Rome,” I huffed, putting my hands on his chest to force some space between us after he had managed to get us both into the bathroom.

Roman, drunk off his ass, did his best to keep his balance. He swayed a little, looking down at me with those hungry eyes I knew too well; “What? I can’t touch my girl?”

“Not here!” When I was sure he wouldn’t fall onto the bathroom floor, I quickly ran over to the door to lock it properly. “We’re at Letha’s birthday party, can’t you keep yourself together?” Amid my annoyance, I scanned him; all dressed up in his white shirt, hair gelled back into a classic heartbreaker look. I couldn't deny it all made my heart beat faster.

Hiccuping, Roman blinked twice— he clearly saw no issue with having sex at his cousin’s party. “Why should I?” He stepped towards me, watching me press myself up against the door. “We haven’t been alone all week… Isn’t this just the perfect opportunity?”

I struggled to hold back a shiver. It was tempting, sure, but completely inappropriate. “I’m not having sex with you in a bathroom,” I mumbled, no longer meeting his strikingly green gaze. “Makes me feel cheap.”

“Cheap?” Roman’s arms snaked around me once more, his soft lips pressing a kiss to my temple. “You’re looking at it all wrong.”

I did my best to phase out the strong smell of brandy coming from my boyfriend— I wasn’t exactly the biggest fan of him when he was drunk. “And how am I supposed to look at it, then?”

He hummed against my skin, his fingers tracing circles into the back of my short, red dress. “Think of it more like… I can’t wait another second to be with you,” Roman placed a kiss against my cheek, drawing forth a pink-ish blush. “I want to feel you around me despite where we are, isn't that a nice thought? I would want you even if we were at a fucking trash compound.”

I could only laugh— he probably didn’t catch how big of a turn-off that image actually was, especially in his drunk state. “That sounds unsanitary,”

Roman chuckled, leaving behind a wet mark against my jaw after kissing me there. I closed my eyes, letting my head loll back against the door as I relished in the feeling; I had certainly missed this. 

“I don’t care,” he eventually said, one hand trailing up to twist itself in the nape of my hair. With another tug, evoking a whimper, Roman kissed his way up to my ear, leaving me heaving for air— it reminded me that he could leave me breathless, no matter the situation. 

I had to swallow my pride, realizing that his little scheme was working. “Someone could— hear,” Unexpectedly, my hips bucked forward in the middle of my sentence as Roman pressed a ridiculously soft kiss against my ear. My hands gripped his shirt, panting. “And you’re— you’re drunk!”

Roman hummed, a sinister, low laugh escaping him. “Let…” His hands dropped, fingers dipping past the edge of my dress as he slowly pulled it up along my thighs. I shuddered, bringing his face into my hands as I watched his green eyes sparkle with lust. “Me…” The dress was now at my waist, Roman’s eyes hungrily scouring my underwear. He didn’t spend a lot of time looking (he had always been more of a do-er, anyways) before he leaned forward, pressing a kiss against my lower abdomen. My breath hitched as Roman bunched up my dress, digging his long digits into my waist as he licked a stripe up to my navel, listening to my whimpers as he held me back from squirming. “Fuck…” He came up shortly after, a satisfied smirk on display across his full lips as he pressed me flush against him, connecting us with a passionate, fiery kiss. As he pulled away, I realized how dizzy I was— and I was about to beg him to do it again, until he slowly turned me around to face the door. My eyes were wide as Roman’s last words were whispered against my ear; “… You.”

At this point, I was practically gelatin in his arms. I could only nod, struggling to breathe as Roman kissed down my exposed neck, now grinding the hardness of his cock up against my ass with a relieved sigh. “Is that a yes?” he whispered, gently driving his teeth into my shoulder.

I whimpered— I couldn’t fight it anymore. “Yeah,” 

“Oh, thank God,” Roman’s grip around me tightened, proceeding to press passionate nips and bites up my neck. “I’ve wanted you all night… All fucking night.”

I had to suppress the urge to roll my eyes. “Don’t remind me,”

Roman laughed, his hands taking in the softness of my skin against his rough ones before they traveled further down. “Now, now... Don’t get all sassy on me,” 

My eyes sprung wide open as his hands ghosted over my underwear, and I let out a wanton moan as his fingers brushed over my clit. “Sorry,” I tried, my apology quickly turning into a trail of profanities as he used two fingers to press down against me, rubbing me through my underwear as I leaned my forehead against the door in defeat. “Shit, shit—” 

Roman hummed into my shoulder, clearly happy with the results of his plot. “So, my girl likes to be touched now, hm?”

Fucker— he knew damn well. 

“Does she?” he teased, his tone only fueling the fire in my body. 

I could barely reply; my mind was dulled down by the feeling of Roman’s fingers rubbing tight, firm circles against my clit. 

He smirked, pressing several kisses against my shoulder. “Yes, she does,” 

Oh, Roman and his dirty mouth— I couldn’t take it. “We— We can’t be in here for too long,” I tried, panting into the wood of the door. “People will get, hah—suspicious.”

Thankfully, my boyfriend seemed to agree. “We’ll make it quick, then,” Roman wasted no time, a whine escaping my lips as his hands deserted the aching need between my legs. He hooked his fingers around my underwear, dragging it down and leaving it around my thighs before he reached for his zipper. 

“This is so stupid,” I mumbled, trying to catch my breath in the meantime. “I can’t believe we’re doing this—” My words came to a halt as Roman’s thick cock eased into me, and I let out a choked moan as I tried to support myself against the door. All my morals suddenly flew out the window; this felt too good to fight.

Roman suppressed his sigh of relief against my shoulder, quickly recovering from the wave of pleasure upon entering me. “Come again?” he teased, digging his fingers into my hips as he slowly stroked further into me with each thrust. 

My breath hitched, holding back a cry of rapture as I moved to meet every pump of his cock—I couldn’t believe how much I had missed this. “Rome,” I cried, placing one hand over his. “A-Aah—”

“Shh,” Roman pressed soft kisses against my neck, bucking into me. “Not so loud, baby… Wouldn’t want anyone to hear, would we?”

Crap— I had to force myself to be aware of my surroundings. It suddenly hit me that we were fucking in Letha’s bathroom, and how we definitely didn’t want to be caught in here; no one would ever let me live that down. So I bit down on my bottom lip, letting my lids fall heavy over my eyes as Roman’s cock stroked into me, the angle allowing him to brush against my sweet spot over and over.

It didn’t take long before I started to feel on the brink of delirium—it certainly didn’t help my state when Roman reached around my body, rubbing my clit with the rhythm of his thrusts. I couldn’t help but turn a bit, reaching forward to tug his brown hair, a satisfaction building deep inside of me as I heard him suppress a moan against my shoulder. 

It didn’t take long before Roman’s lips came crashing against mine in a passionate kiss, which soon enough ended up with the both of us panting against one another, chasing our highs. 

“You feel—Fuck, you feel so, so—” Roman let out a grunt as my walls clenched around him, his green eyes rolling back just slightly. 

The sight of that alone nearly sent me over the edge, but it was the sweet kiss he pressed against my temples that did it for me. That, along with the continuous thrusts of Roman’s cock and the firm circles against my clit, made me cry out against the door. 

The physical motions of my orgasm gripped around Roman’s girth, drawing forth a moan as he spilled into me, the warmth of his cum almost instantaneously seeping out of me. 

As our panting filled the room, it dawned on me that I had done the exact opposite of what I had told myself tonight. With that realization, I couldn’t help but break our moment of rapture with a giggle—“We’re so doing this again,” 

Roman smiled as he leaned down, leaving a trail of eager kisses along my shoulder; “We so are,”

[mingis-orangejuice]

Love and Deepspace Boys with an MC that's good with children Part.3: Rafayel

Summary: Rafayel desperately calls you to help him take care of his little nephew. Rafayel can't stand him but how difficult can one little kid be?

a/n: this one is my fave out of all the fics I've written so far. I love drama queen Rafayel. I made him as dramatic as possible, he's literally jealous of a 5-year-old kid cuz you're giving him more attention. Yep that's my man and imma stick beside him

Genres/Warnings: just pure teeth rotting fluff

Word count: 1173

Other parts: 1, 2, 4

“So what do you say will you help me pretty please?” Rafayel said from the other side of the call. He had called you to ask if you’d help him with his little nephew. He was stuck taking care of him since his cousin and her husband went off on another spontaneous trip. 

“Fine, as long as you pay double, bodyguards don’t babysit for free.” you joked

“Yeah sure double, I’ll even pay triple if you want just get here quickly!” you heard a crash in the background of the call and Rafayel screaming then he hung up.

You were only joking about wanting payment you didn't really think he would agree to it, but that crash had you concerned. Why was he so desperate for your help? How bad can one little kid be?

At Rafayel’s house, you let yourself in with the spare key. You hear your boyfriend yelling, another small voice laughing and the sound of something breaking. You follow the sound to the living room. The whole room was trashed. Mess everywhere, canvases and brushes on the floor, and paint everywhere even on the ceiling. Did a tornado pass through his living room? You see Rafayel chasing a young boy around the room as he causes more trouble “Rafayel what’s going on?”

“Oh thank goodness you’re here” He stops chasing the boy and runs up to you to greet you with a hug “He’s terrible, he’s destroyed everything in my studio I don't know what to do he just won't stop” Rafayel looked like he was almost about to cry.

“Who are you?” the boy stops in front of you “Are you Uncle Rafi’s girlfriend?”

“Yeah, I am” You bend down and put out your hand to shake his. “It’s nice to meet you, sweetie, what’s your name?” 

The little boy looks up at you with a big smile, completely enamoured by you “I’m Nate. Are you really Uncle Rafi’s girlfriend you’re way too pretty for him” he looks at Rafayel and sticks his tongue out.

“Hey I'll have you know that she is my girlfriend and she loves me, so there!” Rafayel sticks his tongue out at Nate too.

“Stop it you two.” you flick Rafayel’s forehead “You’re the adult in the situation you shouldn’t let him take advantage of you” you scold him as Nate laughs under his breath

“He started it, plus he doesn’t listen, he’s just a bad kid, we should bring him to an orphanage and leave him there,” he says pointing at Nate while hiding behind you.

You sigh and turn to look at Nate. “Nate, sweetie did you mess with your uncle’s art?” he nodded shyly. “That's not very nice now, is it” This time he nodded no. “you know you’re not supposed to do that right?”

“But Uncle Rafi was being so boring, I wanted to play tag but he just wanted to paint. He said he needed silence for his work so he left me in here alone.”

You turn and look at Rafayel. “Is that true?” He also just nods, looking like he was being scolded by his own mother. “Rafayel you can’t just leave him alone with nothing to do, what did you think would happen, he’d just sit there for hours doing nothing? No wonder he did all this, he was bored. You could have at least given him something to do.”

“I don’t know what kids like to do, that's why I called you. You’re so smart and would know exactly what to do to help your boyfriend in need riiight?” he attempted to flatter you so that you’d help him.

You sigh again. “Ok well, first we have to clean up this mess...” 

“I think you should make Nate clean it up himself, to make him learn his lesson” Rafayel glared at Nate.

You gave Rafayel the “mom death stare” and he quickly shut up “We are all going to help clean and then both of you are going to apologize, ok?” 

They both look at each other and then back at you. “Ok,” they both say. reluctantly

Later after the mess had been cleaned, you three sit on the couch exhausted. You hear a little tummy rumble.  You look to Nate “Oh are you hungry, maybe we should make something to eat” You head to the kitchen and Nate follows behind you holding your hand. Rafayel see this and jumps up from the couch trying to get in between you two. You push him away “Raf seriously, you’re jealous of a 5-year-old?” he looks a little embarrassed then quietly takes your other hand on the way to the kitchen. Nate looks over and sticks his tongue out at Rafayel again without you noticing. 

You guys cook up a nice simple meal for you all to enjoy but it wasn’t easy. Throughout the whole thing, they were both fighting for your attention. Rafayel was constantly giving you little kisses while you were trying to cook and Nate would keep pulling you away to get you to lift him up so he could get different ingredients or so he could sit on the counter. You found the little fight amusing so you let it go on since it was harmless.

You’re now sitting at the table to eat and the rivalry is still going on. “Come on just eat the food” it's healthy” Rafayel begs Nate “You need to eat something”

“No! it's yucky. I don’t wanna!” Nate whined and pushed his plate away from him.

“Nate sweetie, can you please eat all your food? If you do then you’ll become strong enough to be a hunter like me” You said with a smile. Nate instantly listens and shoves spoonfuls of food into his mouth. He’s finished in no time.

Rafayel looks at you in disbelief. How did you get this little brat to listen so easily? After Nate finished eating you got him ready for an afternoon nap. He gladly listened to everything you said while constantly glancing over at Rafayel to make sure he knew that he was only going to listen to you and not him. You put Nate in a bed in one of the guest rooms and waited for him to fall asleep. Right before you and Rafayel left the room Nate sleepyily said “ Uncle Rafi You should marry her I want her to be my new auntie.” 

You both look at each other and then back at him. “That’s the plan” Rafayel looks at you and winks. 

“Good,” Nate says right before he drifts off to sleep

You and Rafayel are now back on the couch, he holds your hand and looks into your eyes. “Hey thanks for today, you were a really big help I don’t know how I’ll ever repay you” 

“You don’t have to pay me, at least not with money.” You kiss him and give him a sly grin 

“Careful if you keep that up we’ll end up making another Nate” he laughed and kissed you.

[marchsfreakshow]

Watermelon Ice Cream [Jimmy Darling]

Smut.

Some of the people from the Freakshow had decided to visit the beach on the hottest day of the year. Jimmy noticed you sitting there all alone, and decided to strike up a conversation.

Warnings: too much plot for a smut fic, dub-con, oral, face riding, praise, almost public sex in some way. One use of y/n.

First Jimmy smut please be nice to me I am so nervous. I'm also admitting that I literally got this idea from the watermelon icecream pops I have in my freezer at home.

18+! MINORS DNI!

No one's perspective

⊹˚.⋆ ₊꒷ᘏᘏ︶ଓ︶꒷꒦⊹˚ᗢ₊꒷︶ଓ︶꒷

Desiree and Dell decided to take Pepper, Salty and Ma Petite to the beach. A stroke of confidence hit them and the sun just kept getting hotter and hotter. Those who were less secure stayed back to look after the Freakshow. Jimmy decided to come along despite refusing to take his gloves off. He was sweating his hands off but was very stubborn about it.

Where did you fit in this? Sitting in the middle of your family's items. Watching your family and friends sit by the water or swim out by the shore. Not that you didn't want to go for a swim, you just figured that someone should stay behind and watch everyone's stuff. Sitting lonely was fine for you, people playing by the water made you happy no matter what. It was only when your little cousin almost screamed that you noticed Jimmy. Your cousin was playing around with Pepper. And was a bit overwhelming for them. "Rebecca! Come on, come have some ice cream!" You said over to her. Jimmy looked over to you again as your cousin ran into your arms.

"We have actual ice pops or watermelon Ice cream pops." You mentioned quietly. Jimmy smiled as he watched how motherly you were with the little one. He couldn't take his eyes off of you. As your cousin picked up the watermelon box, you glanced over to the man. You gave him a little smile as the eye contact you met him with was warm and sweet. But it was broken when your cousin threw the box back in the icer. "Rebecca don't throw them! C'mon, you know better than that." She giggled and handed you one of the ice cream pops. Both of you opened it and Rebecca giggled at the sight of them being watermelon-shaped.

"What are those?" She asked, pointing to the little black seeds engrossed in the pop.

"Chocolate chips. Try it." You chuckled, starting to suck on the top of the ice cream. Your gaze landed back on Jimmy. He couldn't tear his eyes away from your mouth and tongue that was going around the sweet and cold pop. As you licked and sucked innocently, your eyes met his gloves. Gloves? In this weather? In this hot, blazing weather?

Your cousin had run off to sit by her mother, so you were alone again. Jimmy took this opportunity to sit by you and talk to you. You watched him get up and take a few steps towards you, before sitting by some of the bags. "That your little one?" He started, smiling and pointing to Rebecca.

You pulled the ice cream out of your mouth with a little pop, licking your lips of the flavours. Oh you were just giving it away to him, weren't you? "Hm? No, she's my cousin. She does sort of stick to me like glue though, very sweet girl." It made a little giggle escape you, and you glanced over to him, unaware of the ice cream melting down on your hands. The blush on Jimmy's face was obvious as you watched your oblivious smile at him. You dumbed his blush down to his gloves being too hot. "oh. Oh shi.." You muttered, picking up a little paper towel and putting it around the stick, immediately letting the melting pop drip into your mouth. Just to make it worse for Jimmy, you sucked it until the melting cream was all done.

"You...you okay?" He asked, glancing at the sticky cream dribbling down your hand and your arm. Oh if only he could lick it off your arm, taste the sweet watermelon flavour that was sticking to your arm. You nodded, putting the towel and wooden stick in the small bag for the trash. Jimmy felt so confident yet insecure, wanting to ask you if he could.. 'clean' your arm, for you. Since you were as sweet as sugar, and such a darling.

"I'm doing alright. Just forgot how hot this sun is, I'm a quick eater though." You chuckled, resting your hands behind you. Jimmy wanted to look at you in your eyes properly, but those glasses hid you. He wanted to...so many words and thoughts. Secret eye contact was made not so secret as you took your sunglasses off and met your eyes. Let's not get lost in those eyes, Darling...You cleared your throat and pointed over to where he came from and he looked over to Ma Petite and Desirée in the water together. "Are you the carny folk who set up shop around here?" You asked, interested in the potential answer.

"Yeah, the Freakshow," Jimmy admitted almost nervously, such a sweet one in front of him, and he didn't want to freak you out with his hands. "Not all of us though, most of em stayed behind."

It clicked in your head why he wore those damned leather gloves now. "Oh! Oh, you're Jimmy Darling, right? Your mother is Ethel?" A proud smile appeared on your shaded face, and he nodded, almost confused since most knew them as Lobster Boy and the bearded lady. "I overheard my mother talking to Desirée over there a while ago when we went in for a visit."

Ah, so you'd visited them before? Interesting. "You've come to show before? Sad I didn't see you." Jimmy chuckled. The watermelon flavour had dried itself as a light red on your fingers and about 2 little red streaks down to your elbow. He bet it would've tasted as good with your sweat. Oh, Ew. Jimmy, really? Gross! He cursed himself for even thinking something so filthy. You were such a darling thing, that couldn't've been something you liked. He'd just let you know, and you could clean yourself up, instead of... feeling Jimmy's tongue run up and down your fingers as he tasted the treat. So, Jimmy cleared his throat before you answered and mentioned; "oh, uh, thought I'd mention-"

You had run your tongue over your arm, keeping a paper towel in your other hand, ready to pat the saliva off. Well if he wasn't hard before, he certainly was now. Seeing the way you sucked the tips of your fingers quickly sent him spiralling. Desperately wanting to have that same feeling. "Hm?" You fluttered your eyelashes as you glanced over, immediately stopping yourself. "Oh! My, sorry about that, I didn't even realise."

No that was perfectly okay with Jimmy. He could've watched you all day. Creepy. "Ha- no matter. I was about to mention that dried ice cream."

"well thank you for attempting to mention it, sir!"

"Course." One little nod.

Minutes passed. Quick glances at each other. Oh, something was happening, there really was. Not one person around you two was aware of those little tension-filled feelings bubbling in his throat. Those words he ached to say and desperately needed to let go of. Small looks, and tiny smiles as you avoided his gaze.

As soon as Jimmy built up that insecure courage to work his charm, you were gone. Where on earth..? Where you were sat was replaced with an older gentleman, presumably a grandfather or your father. But, he was determined now. He had to ask. Nonchalantly, Jimmy stood up and walked up the beach to the small road. There was only so much of you to remember. A cute white romper, mainly. It complimented you perfectly, and his desires ran with that thought. Maybe if he heard that smooth voice of yours.

He carried his little stroll down the top of the beach and came across a little tent. Bright and red. Couldn't hurt to peek in and see if it's empty. "Hello again! Very sorry for disappearing on you like that, I just wanted to go for a small stroll." Ah, your voice. Jimmy could've listened to you all day. But he stepped in and cleared his throat.

"i-its no worries! I uh, was also headin' for a stroll, it's a nice beach." His awkwardness and insecurity got the best of him, and it was obvious through his small stutters. Your eyes met again, this time; desire and want more obvious in the burning red tent than in the blazing sun shining upon the both of you. Eye contact is silent and filled with unspoken likes.

Sudden hot leather on your back. Almost burning you between your shoulder blades. And a groan desperately escaping your lips due to the fabric sticking to you. Oh if only there was a hard surface in this burning area. The lava-like sand would have to do. Jimmy let himself hit the sand and brought you down with him. Wanting to give in and help you with your undressing, but his mind couldn't stop yelling the insecurities at him. Wait, what you were doing? He looked up at you as you smiled innocently, undoing his gloves, and taking them off sickenly slowly. You were too pure for him, he could tell now. But his want to taste you were bigger, and let you know that you were probably going to be the sweetest-tasting lady he'd ever come across.

"c'mere sweetheart..." Jimmy soothed, your clothes bunching around your ankles. He pulled it off one of your legs, so it swung around your other ankle. And his hands just didn't stop at caressing your legs, no. He brought you right up close to his lips and his warm breath. Feeling him breath purposely on you, just sent a cooling shiver up your back. And then sent a rush of arousal down to create a little spot on your underwear. Embarrassing, but you knew this probably wasn't the time to feel embarrassed about being so wet so easily. If anything, it made Jimmy just want you more and more.

Holding onto your hips and grazing his nails over your skin, he watched you pull your underwear to the side with hesitance. Such a darling thing. Seeing just how much slick created a small thread between you and your underwear. Every little breath he took inched closer and closer till his lips met your clit. Running his tongue over and over as your quiet noises got louder and louder. Jimmy could barely keep his lips and tongue on one part of you, you were so wet. The vibrations from his small groan caused a little jerk of your hips and urged yourself closer to him.

Eyes lost to the back of your head. The sound of his tongue practically working magic on you and hearing him slurp everything in his mouth. Every noise and feeling making your moans, whimpers and whines louder. You couldn't help but let your hand cover your own mouth, just in case anyone was standing outside, waiting for the tent to not be occupied anymore. Jimmy whispered against you smoothly, "Good girl, you're doing so well sweetheart." But he couldn't help himself but go straight back to his work, practically overstimulating you with only his tongue and his thumb. If he let himself taste your sensitive clit again, his thumb would be teasing your dripping entrance.

"oh my...my god-!" Were the words you screamed as everything washed over you after a short while. Your hips bucked once again and Jimmy let you ride out your sweet orgasm against his slick lips. He let out another little groan as he licked you more, taking in as much as your come as possible. He knew you would taste as sweet as those watermelon Ice cream pops you had earlier.

Eventually, you came down from that quick high and used whatever you could to clean yourself up. Shivering a bit, you slipped your underwear back to its original position, and your romper went back on you.

Jimmy and you smiled softly at each other. He held his gloves in one hand, the hot, black leather sticking to his hand instantly. The other hand held yours. You just kept a smile on your face as he walked you out of the tent, loving the fact you didn't care much for his claws. And the walk was a comfortable, hot and sweaty silence. Despite everything, Jimmy's cock still throbbed in his trousers, and his urge to have you again, properly, was big. But the both of you sat down again by your respective belongings, letting a little bit of space happen.

"..Jimmy." he chuckled after a bit of silence, holding his hand out like you hadn't ridden his face a couple minutes earlier.

You took his hand and giggled quietly. "I know..." You started as the sweltering sun burned brighter. "Y/N."

⊹˚.⋆ ₊꒷ᘏᘏ︶ଓ︶꒷꒦⊹˚ᗢ₊꒷︶ଓ︶꒷

Tag: @briaroftheroses @taintandviolent @babygorewhore // @oceanblvd111 @nahoyasboyfriend @am3ricanh0rrorwh0re // @feefymo @slutforgarlogan

[wandering-tides]

Are you kidding me.... ARE YOU GODDAMN KIDDING ME!????

You are telling me to abandon the ship i've been shipping for 10+ yrs, that the fandom has been shipping for 20+ yrs?????

I am sorry but, that's just insane. How could you do that to us??? It hasn't even been 2 weeks since Kaishin day and you drop that on us Gosho?????

How could you make kaishin, cousins just to justify their similar looks (and other similarities).....

Yes, I'll forever believe this was the reason why he gave us a cousin reveal (after 20+ yrs!!).... and also cuz kaishin was taking over his canon couple,,, no matter what other reason might be there or what he may give.

You wanted them to be cousins from the beginning? Then why the hell did you wait for over 20 yrs to reveal that??? Yeah no, I am not believing in any of the reasons Gosho gives for "revealing" them as cousins after over two decades.

Canon can go into the trash can and fuck itself (and f u too Gosho).

If they were going to be cousins from the beginning, they should have never given us the kaishin food for all these yrs. Neither in the manga, nor in the movies.

All that poetry Shinichi spouts everytime he is describing Kaito? That one time Shinichi held his dick? Those kissing noises in M 3? That trust they show in each other M 8 (and that train arc??)?? And I can go on and on and on about all the times they added flame to the fire and made kaishin shippers grow into what it is today.

And then suddenly they drop "cousins" on us

And you want me to accept that?? Yeah, no. Not gonna happen.

Kaishin has helped me cope with so many things, I am not gonna drop it, I am not accepting this canon.

If people want to, they are free to do so. If they want to purge their kaishin fanworks, you can do that (tho it would be incredibly sad to loose the fanworks. This fandom has some of the best fics and fanworks i've come across), if you want to leave the ship, you can do that too (which, again, would be very sad, cuz I've met some of the nicest people in this fandom, and it's one of the few fandom ship spaces that is not so tixic... as compared to many other fandom ship groups)

And that's all from me for now over this reveal. I just had to get this out of the system y'know? This reveal sucks. They are giving kaishin akai/akemi treatment, dammit.

[hadassah4ever]

lukas matsson x f!reader smut

warnings: decent age gap, reader has no survival instincts for plot convenience, no protection, and the fact that i haven’t written smut in such a long time, i feel like it’s not the best, but 👍👍

word count: 1,430

minors dni pls

The night was frankly, very boring.

Strolling around and seeing the art pieces that made you realize that you might’ve flushed $50,000 down the drain, but at least you got some good complimentary cocktails and horderves.

“You look bored out of your mind.” A man whispered in your ear from behind, almost making you look like a cat jumping away from a cucumber.

“I don’t like this bullshit… ‘cum on a canvas and call it a painting’ stuff either, it’s emotionle—“

“Technically it’s eliciting emotions from you by making you hate it. But maybe that’s just the art school in me.” You shrugged, turning to see a tall, blonde haired blue eyed man.

“Arts school? On daddy’s dime, huh?” He teased. “I wish.” You softly chuckled, shaking your head.

“Hm. Not a rich girl?” He asked. “I would’ve thought you were. Normally poor people don’t throw $50,000 into the trash like that.” He joked. “I have passion! I’m a starving artist!” You replied, softly chuckling and playfully rolled your eyes, not too offended at his teasing. “How’d you get in here? No offence, but I thought that looking at usele— very… meaningful, modern art was a rich person thing?” He asked, seeming genuinely more curious than insulting or gatekeepy, like most of the people here.

“They invited a student with a referral from their professor. And I was referred by my professor.” You answered. “What an insult.” He joked, you tried to shake your head and jokingly roll your eyes to dodge all of the tiny comments that made you slowly realize more and more you should’ve gone to business school, like your cousin.

“You just hate my future profession, don’t you?” You teased back. “Well, it’s the job that makes parents slowly nod and say ‘ahhh…’, so.” He shrugged, a smug smile on his face like he knew you were gonna laugh. “Ugh, I hate how true that is. I just wanna get out of here as soon as possible. It’s not boring, just terrifying.”

“You could get out of here with me.” He quickly replied, realizing he sounded way too eager. “I don’t even know your name.” You replied, coyly smiling. “Is that the only thing stopping you?” He asked. You shrugged. “I’m Lukas Matsson.” He spoke. “Now, do you wanna leave?” You couldn’t help but roll your eyes playfully and chuckle at that. He was cornier than he let on.

“You intrigue me. Sure.” You don’t think he’d have the gall to murder you or something after being so chatty in the decency crowded gallery, so what did you really have to lose?

You knew something was up when he rubbed your knee in the car. And the way he kept glancing at your tits. And giving you “fuck me” eyes.

“You’re alright with coming to my apartment right? No pressure.” He spoke, not seeming to just be covering his bases, but actually not putting too much pressure on you. “Sure, what else do I have to lose?” You joked, he softly smirked and told the driver his address.

You should’ve been aware about the fact that he could’ve been rich, but he dressed so casually, and not just the “hello fellow peasants, I am like you” kind of casual the way most rich people dress, but he was in a really nice part of town.

——

“Down for some random wine that people give me?” He asked, going into his wine cabinet, using his fingers to browse through several wines that would probably be a month's worth of rent for you, at the very least. “Gonna wine and dine me before taking me to pound town?” You joked, and as you silently cursed yourself for saying “pound town”, he chuckled.

“No, I’m just gonna wine you.” He answered, catching you off guard but still enjoying the banter. “So pound town is a non negotiable?” You joked. “Nah, we can negotiate that.” You didn’t know if he really cared this much about your consent or if he was just not trying to catch a case, maybe both, but you’d take it anyways. So far, he cared more about your consent than any person you’ve been with beforehand. Maybe you’d need to sign an NDA.

“I mean, if it’s a good journey to pound town, then I agree, but if I’m just gonna be a vessel, no thanks.” You teased, he softly laughed, picking out a bottle of wine and standing up. “I’ll make sure it’s enjoyable then.”

“Then I’m definitely aboard.” You softly chuckled, glancing at the ground and then glancing back up, Mattsson standing right in front of you, immediately leaning forward and kissing you, placing the bottle of wine on the marble counter with a soft clink.

His hands squeezed your ass, his semi-hard cock grazing against you, his hand found his way to your clit, rubbing it in somewhat rough circles, before stopping and his hand diving into your underwear, his slim fingers opening up your folds and feeling around for your slick, satisfied he grumbled a quiet, “So fuckin’ wet for me.”

“Could we move to the sofa?” You softly asked, snapping him out of his own head. “Huh? Oh yeah.” He answered, both of you scrambled to his couch, as you laid down, he placed his head between your thighs, his hands held your hips before his fingers dipped underneath the fabric of your panties, pulling them off your legs.

“You don’t seem like the guy who’s ready to eat a girl out at a moment's notice.” You flirtatiously teased, he paused for a second before breaking the brief silence with, “Not just any girl.” A similarly teasing smile but a slight, genuine look in his eyes.

That really shut you up, as you leaned back down, his mouth softly sucking your clit, his tongue and lips working together, his fingers moved around as he tried to find your entrance, quickly finding it, they dove in. You tried to resist the urge to clamp your thighs around his head, his beard softly scratching you as he ate you out, throwing your head back and moaning, you shut your eyes hard.

He was too damn good at this.

Within a few minutes he had you softly moaning about how you were about to cum, his mouth worked harder and his fingers thrusted in and out of you quicker, having you unravel faster than you ever have, he still worked his mouth and fingers even when your thighs squeezed the sides of his face, having you shaking.

He quickly pulled his head away from your core, the imprint of his cock ready to burst out from his boxer briefs. He slid them off quickly and you were a bit wary, his size was definitely gonna teeter on uncomfortable, and it was probably gonna stretch you a bit, little veins running up it, the pink tip leaking already. He opened your knees up once again and lined himself up with your entrance, “Tell me if it’s uncomfortable, ‘kay?” He spoke, after you nodded he slowly eased himself inside of you and to your surprise and delight, his size actually worked well fully inside of you.

“It’s good?” He asked, trying to suppress a groan. “Amazing.” You answered, he nodded and started to thrust inside of you, his cock curving upwards and hitting the deep, pleasurable bits inside you, he grunted and moved his fingers to your clit again, his hand resting on your pelvis as his thumb worked in circles, getting into the rhythm of it, he was eventually pounding into you, now using both of his hands to keep himself steady.

It was like a haze surrounded you, gripping onto his couch cushions and arching your back warned him of your impending orgasm, he noticed your inability to just sit still and take his cock, his hands pushed your hips down and continued to nail into you relentlessly, without any further notice, you constricted and finished around him, your breathing became shaky and every limb in your body felt like it was vibrating as he pulled out and came on your stomach, an impressive amount of warm cum hitting just underneath your belly button. His face looked like he just met god and his breathing became shaky as yours started to even out.

“Jesus.” He spoke under his breath. “Hardly anyone has been able to take me like that.” He muttered.

“Might have to pay for your tuition.” He added, in a tone you didn’t know whether or not it was a joke.

Maybe it wasn’t.

——

a/n: lukas definitely has feelings for the reader and i’d be willing to maybe add onto this if enough people want that.

[satoruwiki]

feed us more naoya headcanons!!!

…more?? 🧍‍♀️ who am i to deny you

♡₊˚ Naoya is the type of man to…𓈒 ˚ ⟡ pt.2

content: jjk headcanons; half sfw/half nsfw; afab!reader; another glimpse of the horrors you’d be going through as his partner lol

n/a: i almost went bald from how hard i was scratching my head to come up with more hcs, but i think i made it?? lol

these are my hcs! feel free to agree or disagree :b any request/interaction supporting this post is very much appreciated <3

sfw ver! ୨ৎ

Naoya is the type of man to… be excessively controlling. From what you eat to what you wear, Naoya will strictly decide it for you, because he always knows what’s best for you, so don’t even try to object. Unless you want to put him in a bad mood.

Naoya is the type of man to… act like a loving husband in public but treat you like trash at home. Only the clansmen and whoever is close to you would actually know how your life is as Naoya’s spouse. Naoya cares about being the best at everything, therefore he’d pretend to be a good husband to you when going out.

Naoya is the type of man to… have a long lasting situationship. If it isn’t by an arranged marriage, don’t expect him to ever commit to you. He hates any type of commitment that isn’t with himself. He’ll make up excuses or will simply tell you that you are both fine just like you are. However if you ever try to distance yourself from him, that is something he won’t allow you. You guys aren’t nothing serious, but he still wants to keep you within reach.

Naoya is the type of man to… gaslight you and purposely guilt trip you so you never leave him. If you ever get sick of him and try to leave, Naoya will literally make everything your fault and/or harass so you end up feeling bad and comeback to him. And no, he won’t change for you.

Naoya is the type of man to… make everything about himself. Naoya doesn’t care about what you like or your thoughts, they aren’t important or relevant to him. But you should listen to him ramble about his cousin or his ideology though. Most of the conversations with Naoya would consist of: how great he is, he’s the only one who truly ‘understood’ Toji and everyone is weak except him.

nsfw ver! ୨ৎ

Naoya is the type of man to… choke you. Not to the point of killing you, of course. He still needs his little cockwhore alive and well for him to bury his cock into your warm walls whenever he pleases.

Naoya is the type of man to… have a huge dacryphilia kink. He won’t cum if he doesn’t see you cry.

Naoya is the type of man to… edge you. You would have to beg for mercy in order for him to even consider let you cum. He can go on for hours edging you and never get tired of your pleas. He finds pleasure in reducing you into a needy pathetic slut.

Naoya is the type of man to… be into shibari. He probably knows every knot in the damn book and will tie you up with ease and differently each time. You would look cute tied up though.

Naoya is the type of man to…. into knife and wax play. No big explanation here, he’s just really into bdsm and making you feel some sort of pain.

[becauseimswagman1]

Toxic Love

A/N:.... it's been forever since I've posted...I'M BACK WITH THE SMUT GUYS. Don't be afraid to comment either!!!

A/N#2: he got some pretty teeth y'all

This for you @itsbackwoodsbby 🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾

(She wrote something for me. Gotta get her backkkk)

------------------------------

To say that you and your man are a toxic couple is downplaying just how toxic y’all actually are. He cheats and cheats, yet you stay. “Why?” is the million-dollar question. You could say you love him, but you could also say you love the money he makes. See your man is a drug dealer, but not just any ole drug dealer, he’s feared. He’s not to be messed with in any way, so what made you finally get his lying and cheating ass back? The most recent bitch he cheated on you with.

Her name is whor- Hazel. Hazel been tryna get at your man forever. You’re surprised he even fucked that fuck-anything-that-walks, homewrecking ass girl, but niggas will be niggas you guess. You’ve come to realize that they’ll fuck anyone and anything.

Anyways, you got him back by fucking his fine ass, big dick-having-ass cousin. Guess it really does run the family, but the dick was trash and the head was bomb, but if your man asks then all of it was better than him.

You could only imagine how crazy he acted once he found out, but he was almost done with his drops for the day so you’d find out in a minute or two.

---------------------------------

You hear a car door slam and shortly after the front door slam too, “Ayo what the fuck am I hearing bout you fucking my cousin Dre?!”

You almost laughed, his anger was comical to you. You admit you did act like this when you found out he cheated the first time, but as smart as he is… you figured he would’ve figured everything out by now.

You shrugged at him, “Oh they talking about that already? Damn word get around fast. And don’t be slamming the doors in this house!”

“It’s true? You sit up here living this lavish ass lifestyle and you decide to act like one of yo lil friends and fuck anybody with a pulse.”

Okay, he was doing too much now. It’s not like you slept with half the motherfuckers in his gang unlike someone (Hazel).

You stood up off the couch, “Nah, Trevante fuck you! I don’t know why you tryna make me out to be some type of hoe but that shit not gone fly. Yo black ass acting like I fucked yo brother or something. It was just your cousin so back up off me.”

He walked over to you and got in your face, “Tell me that shit not true. Tell me it’s not so I can go pop the nigga that told me.”

Damn, did he have the grill in today? Top AND bottom too? Mhmmmm.

You stared up into his eyes as innocently as you could while he looked down at you, “Sorry baby, but… it’s true. And it was sooo good, too. He fucked me way better than you.”

God, he’s wearing the cologne that makes you soak your panties in record time.

“Oooooh now he’s better than me? I’ll murk that nigga right now, blood or not. Keep on testing me, ma.”

He’s gonna fuck you up. He’s no longer mad at the get back, but the thoughts of another man fucking you better and that you could possibly leave him because of that haunt him now.

“I’ll be here to wash your clothes when you get back. Just don’t come in here dripping blood and shit. It’ll be a bitch to get out our new carpets.”

Trevante could see how unphased you were about this whole thing and it only pissed him off more. You gave away your pussy and that belonged to him.

He grabbed your neck and got real close to your face, “Say he’s better than me again, and watch what happens to you.”

You smirked, this is exactly what you wanted, “He’s better than you. Maybe this will teach you not to fuck with dirty ass hoes.”

He chuckled, tightening his hold on your neck a little, “So you mad I fucked one of yo lil friends?”

“She’s not-” He cut you off, “Right. She’s not. But you really went out and did what you did as a get back? You put on your big girl panties and took a shot at me? That’s a mistake, baby.”

He pecked your lips then threw you over his shoulder, “You gone regret that shit.”

“Baby-”

“Nah, don’t “baby” me now. You was just talking all that shit, it’s time to put your money where your mouth is.”

Trevante took you to your shared room and sat you down on your feet then grabbed your neck again, making you look at him, “You gonna be good for Daddy?”

“Mhm.” you avoided his heated stare. You knew what he had in store for you was gone have you acting right...for now.

He tightened his grip on your neck, “Words ma, or you not gone get what you deserve.”

“I’ll be daddy’s good gir-” he adjusted your head to look at him in his eyes, “Good what?”

“I’ll be daddy’s good little slut.”

He pecked your lips and let your neck go, “Take your panties off. Ass up, face down.”

------------------------

Taglist: lmk if you wanna be added or taken off

@prettyisasprettydoes1306 @thatone-girly

@blackerthings @roguekiki @enigmadivine

@novaniskye @ziayamikaelson @twocentuar

[classiccowboy]

instagram j.b.

summary: follow along with joe and his fiance evie as they go through his football career.

*face claim is Yasmin Quintana*

series masterlist

joeyb_9

liked by bengals, evie, and 829,726 others

joeyb_9: my spidey sense is starting to tingle a bit

view all 57,727 comments…

user: loser go bills

user: daddy burrow

user: how is ev?

> user: no one cares

user: JOE BRRRRR

evie: ok sexy.

> joeyb_9: 😉

> user: are you going to call off the engagement joe

user: bring some ice home this season

lahjay10_: 🤫🤫

user: slay

evie

liked by joeyb_9, bengals, and 928,926 others

evie: is it september yet? i miss football.

view all 54,836 comments…

*comments on this post are limited*

user: noooo not the username change

> evie: am i.. rebranding?

user: slayyy

millyg: i’m sorry, are those leather pants? in a casual setting? spicy..

> evie: 👀

user: why you no breezy anymore?

user: gorgeous, i hope you’re doing well!

> evie: i’m wonderful. 💗

user: i’m obsessed with you and joe! you’re my favorite couple.

> evie: thanks for the love.

user: LFG GO BENGALS

> evie: always!

joeyb_9

liked by bengals, lahjay10_, and 726,928 others

joeyb_9: preparing for invaders

view all 2,855 comments…

user: you are my american dream

user: i’d prepare for you whenever

user: a man? for me?

user: hit me in my dm’s when you drop your gf

> millyg: the disrespect is astounding. he doesn’t know you sis. sorry.

user: kirk cousins except with swag

evie: your tan skin! your sweet smile! so good to me, SO RIGHT!!!

> joeyb_9: i’ll hold you in my arms EVERY september night.

> user: STOP IT RIGHT NOW

user: ev and joe using taylor references, they are IT

user: i think i threw up a little

evie

liked by joeyb_9, millyg, and 860,245 others

evie: goodbye off season, you were a magical gift full of the people i love most. now its #gobengals

view all 278 comments…

*comments on this post are limited*

user: sending all my love

joeyb_9: i am an avacado toast hater.

> evie: at least you have good taste in women. 😉

user: it still blows my mind that ur casually dating joey b

> evie: so lucky to be loved by my jb.

user: jealous

lahjay10_: nah you fr leave me out this?

> evie: we are in a private relationship.

user: turn comments back on

user: how does it feel to live my dream?

> evie: it feels like.. well.. a dream.

user: i’m ready for ev in her WAG era

evie

liked by millyg, joeyb_9, and 916,729 others

evie: pov joey is behind the camera

view all 6,828 comments…

*comments on this post are limited*

user: i’m obsessed with ur love

millyg: you are sunshine in human form

> evie: i’ll cry rn.

user: are you kidding!!! the cutest?

user: a model

joeyb_9: pretty gal i love you

> evie: 💗💗💗

user: i’m sorry people are so mean ev, we love you.

> evie: yall make my heart smile. ☺️

joeyb_9

liked by bengals, evie, and 708,626 others

joeyb_9: ⏲️

view all 4,728 comments…

user: times up evie it’s my turn

user: ur the finest man alive joe

user: SHIESTYYYY

user: can we hang out

user: baby goat

evie: you are HIM baby

> user: dude is trash and you’re a loser for dating him

> user: everytime you call him baby i want to die

> user: you are cringe. disgusting. he deserves so much better

user: time to grind, hope you’re ready!

evie

liked by joeyb_9, millyg, and 1,737,973 others

evie: some of my thoughts: from the moment joe got drafted i always knew there was a chance people would react negatively to me, but i never wanted that fear to hinder who i am. i am a kind person, i am a supportive person, i love football, i love joe, i love sharing my life with people who enjoy me. i don’t want any of those things to change. so to those who choose to be unkind behind screens and anonymity, i encourage you take a moment and reflect. to make your heart the most beautiful thing about you, and simply let everything you do be lead with love.

view all 96,629 comments…

user: you are so beautiful and such a light

user: attention seeking

> joeyb_9: apparently you didn’t read the caption well enough.

> user: not joe in the comments 😳

user: yup this is our QUEEN 🥰🥰

joeyb_9: you deserve all the love and kindness this world has to offer. i’m so proud of you and the person that you are. i love you ev.

> evie: i love you with my whole entire heart jb. 🤍

user: i love this, you are such an inspiration to all of us.

millyg: the most beautiful heart and soul of anyone i know, the true light in the darkness. thanks for being you ev.

user: queen ev 👑👑👑

[yakumtsaki]

AND WE'RE BACK. My cancerous thyroid might have briefly cucked me, but now I'm about to cuck every goddamn semi-incestuous couple in this house. Isn't that right, Baby?

-CAWK CAWK

Exactly! Baby here is a parrot that Meadow rolled the want for and I was like sure, what problems could a parrot possibly cause?

-OPEN THIS DOOR. SOMEONE OPEN THIS DOOR FOR ME. OPEN IT RIGHT NOW OPEN IT OPEN IT

Um it should open automatically for you wtf?

-OPEN THE DOOR, MAMMAL TRASH, THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING

Ok Baby seriously why won't the doors open for you?

-I DON'T KNOW BUT I WILL STAY HERE AND PREVENT EVERYONE FROM GOING TO CLASS BECAUSE THEY'RE TOO STUPID TO USE THE OTHER DOOR

Alright then, clearly there's only one solution to this..

Perfection.

-Um, what happened to the door?

-IT ASKED TOO MANY STUPID QUESTIONS. OUT OF THE WAY, HUMMIE SCUM

Well, Baby was clearly a much needed addition to this house. Now, to the main event: an end to the Year of Sin!

NOP, NEVERMIND, SPOKE TOO SOON, MUST DO THIS INSTEAD. We invite Good Witch over for Spice and she asks to bring a friend and it's FUCKING MALCOLM. LMAO. I simply have to, I can't resist-

-Well well well, if it isn't the famous Malcolm Landgraab IV, the finest intergenerational concubine the world has ever seen!

-Huh?

-You were too much of a straggot to date my father, but I know you won't be able to resist the charms of the much better looking son!

-What?

-God, the conversation is just crackling with sexual tension!

-So, Malc, I believe we should make out. Thoughts?

-Where are those fucking butterflies coming from?

-Your stomach? ;)

No, they're from the Good Witch, my bad y'all.

After many, MANY hours of talking, Malcolm finally accepts a lame wolf whistle-

-but our efforts are interrupted by Felina returning from class. WILL YOU GIVE IT A FUCKING REST FOR ONE DAY

-NEVER

-Sorry kid, but if Malcolm Landgraab is to ever consider bisexuality, it will be for someone who can beat up his own sister.

Wtf kinda rule is that you freak?? You know what, just gtfo-

-NO. Stay here, Malcolm, I'd like to hear stories about you and great-great grandma Victoria!

-Oh wow, now that was a real woman. She could hold her liquor, she could whore around, she could beat up anyone.. No man could ask for anyone more feminine!

You are so right, Malcolm, the only one to ever do it better was Long John Silver!

Ok seriously Barth is there a plan here, why are we wasting valuable time on platonic interactions with this loser?

-I just have a feeling true love will prevail!

What are you even talking about-

UM PWND @ ME WTF. ACR DOES IT AGAIN WITH LITERAL NEGATIVE CHEMISTRY LOL

OH FUCK YES TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONE. Two Babies with one stone if you will!

-HOW DARE YOU CHEAT ON ME, YOUR OWN FLESH AND BLOOD

Ya ok GROSS but finally we can put this behind us, 1 down, 200 more to go. Cyan go back to your other cousin-lover while you still can because I'm breaking you up too!

-Don't have to tell me twice!

Ugh.

-Hmmm...

What now, Barth.

-Nothing, I just keep forgetting I actually have two eyes.

Ya, you and me both.

-But now that I possess peripheral vision, I see there's so much to be done in this house.

You have set yourself on fire multiple times, please stop with the household tasks, that's why we have a butler.

-But he never actually does anything!

Yes well, his main job is to answer the door and we no longer have one, but it's still money well spent.

-WELL I WILL FIX THE DISHWASHER OR DIE TRYING

-BARTH NO I STILL LOVE YOU

-FUCK YOU SUNSET, YOU BROKE MY HEART BY SLEEPING WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND. HE'S NOT EVEN RELATED TO YOU

Barth no offense but I think I'm ready for your next electrocution to take you out.

-As am I!

-And I!

-GETTING SLAPPED MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY IS STARTING TO AFFECT MY MENTAL HEALTH HOW DO I MAKE IT STOP

You could stop being Satan incarnate?

-No, there has to be a better way!

-How about I sleep with the boyfriend of the only cousin in this house who doesn't already hate me?

Yes, absolutely, and please take another crack at fixing the dishwasher when you're done.

[iaminfourthwing]

The Generals Daughter

Chapter XIII

The day that every first year, that is still alive, dreads, is finally here. Threshing.

The gathering hall is oddly quiet this morning, every first year lost in their own thoughts. Violet next to me looks a little green and minutes prior I saw Ridoc running to find the nearest bathroom or trash bin. I ate a little bit of fresh fruits because after all, I am nervous as fuck as well.

The general seemed so sure about me claiming a dragon, but right now … I am not so sure anymore. The fact that I have to see him again, if I claim a dragon today, makes me swallow anxiously. If I fail … I don’t want to know what happens then.

My eyes find the bright blue ones Liam owns and he gives me an encouraging smile. He is one of the best in this quadrant, there is no doubt of him claiming a dragon. I bet he isn’t as nervous as everyone else here. Even Barlowe is quiet, and that must mean something but after all, he is just human as well.

A shiver runs through me as I can feel someone staring at me and when I look up, the startling hazel-colored eyes, that even follow me in my dreams, are studying me. He looks like he is somewhere trapped in his mind and even over the distance I can see the worry and anxiety radiating from him. I give him a small tight-lipped smile, which he returns.

Half an hour later we are all gathered at the entrance of the bowl-shaped forested valley, where we’ll hopefully find our dragons or our possible death. I had to promise Violet that I’ll let her go alone but I will definitely stay near her. I won’t take the risk and lose her. She is strong, she has proven herself over the last months, but the way Jack and his entourage look her way … I’ll definitely trust my instincts and follow her through the valley. When it comes to the dragons, there isn’t much I can do, that’s when I’ll leave her.

Dain stands beside her and whispers probably some instructions into her ear. He looks just as worried as I feel about her but even as he knows what she is capable of, he still doesn’t appreciate her strength. Idiot.

When we finally get the go, some of the cadets eagerly run into different directions while others walk slow, unsure into the valley.

Violet is around 50 feet in front of me, so I take a deep breath and start to go after her.

For around half an hour I simply just walk behind her as quietly as possible. A few dragons could be heard in the distance, even cadets screaming. The short girl suddenly halts. “I know you are here” she says, without turning around. My eyes widen. Fuck, she is good. I should have expected that.

“Sorry Vi, but I am not taking the chance and risk your life, without trying to protect you” there is guilt in my voice, but I know, I am doing the right thing.

“You saw me fight these last months, you saw me getting stronger and even then, you still don’t trust me? Don’t trust what I can do? Am I really that weak to you, that you desperately try to protect me? I know you have to do this because of my moth-“

“NO! I do not do this because of your mother! I do this because you are my friend, no, more like a sister! I believe wholeheartedly in you! I am so proud of you and your growth; you have no idea. But I do not trust Jack and his hounds. We both know you all alone have no chance against the four of them. I really just wanna help you” I finish.

For a few minutes she just stands there, looking at me with nothing but adoration. “You know, if we would have been into girls, I would totally kiss you right now” she finally says as we both continue our walk through the valley. I laugh. “But here we are, totally into boys we aren’t allowed to have.”

She snaps her neck my way, wide eyed. Oh, fucking hell. “You what?! You too?!?! Who?”

Shit. Me and my loud mouth. “Well … I mean- maybe- a certain ... cousin … of your … little crush” I stutter, admitting my interest in the handsome male.

Her jaw drops in pure surprise and shock. “HIM?! Oh my-“

We hear a little growl somewhere in front of us. I try to look between the trees and see … something golden? Oh no. Violet seems to have the same thought.

“The feathertail” we whisper simultaneously. We both step forward into the clearing, where we get a better view of the little dragon.

“Gosh, it’s so cute” I whisper. As if the dragon heard me she looks up … offended?

“Oh god, sorry, I didn’t mean to insult you” I say, panic dripping in my voice while Violet snickers quietly beside me.

The dragon looks curious at us both and steps forward when we hear something snapping behind us. Like someone is walking into our direction. I have an extremely unsettling feeling, who that could be. To small and quiet for a dragon, it's definitely a human. More like, a bunch of humans.

“You have to hide or fly away!” Vi whisper shouts to the little golden one. “Go! Fly!” We both run to hide behind the trees, but Vi stumbles over a branch and falls. “Shit Vi, you okay?” I ask her while helping her up. I think I heard a pop but am not sure.

“Damn it, my ankle … go hide” she hisses in agony.

Reluctantly I let her go and hide behind another tree. In the last second, I decide to climb the tree, hovering a bit over Violet and see everything that’s going to happen. And just a few seconds later Jack with his lapdogs come out of the tree line. Shit. I hate when I am right in the wrong situations.

“We have to kill this little thing! It’s a danger for everyone!” Jack says loudly.

Tynan, Oren and Trevor are behind him. While the other three are determined walking to the little golden dragon, Oren looks unsure whether he should join this shitshow. They seriously want to murder a dragon? Are they really that dumb? I can only hope some other dragons are possibly near and hear, what these pathetic humans want to do. Or at least a third year, that could talk some sense into them, even though with Jack there is probably nothing we could do besides throw him into a cell and never let him see the daylight again.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea. What if one if the third years see us” Oren says. “They aren’t allowed to interfere” Jack shrugs.

“You can’t do this!” Violet says loudly, stepping out from behind the tree. Shocked I look down to her. Fucking. Hell. Violet.

I stay seated.

“And why not, Sorrengail?” Tynan sneers. “It’s against everything we stand for and believe in!” Oren still looks unsure about Jacks plan to kill the little dragon.

While they are insulting each other and Violet trying to get the dragon to flee, I feel something prickling in my head. Like … someone tries to ... reach me? I definitely need more sleep. This is getting ridiculous.

‘Oh, so now I am ridiculous?’ a feminine voice says in my head. I- HELLO?!

‘No need to scream, I hear just fine. Just because my ears are old doesn’t mean I am deaf.’

Oh fantastic. It’s sassy.

‘I need to help my friend before I can deal with you!’ I hiss in my head. I need therapy. Is there any therapist in Basgiath?

‘Well now you sound ridiculous.’ I try to ignore her, for now.

“I would advise against trying to do that” a dark voice echoes over the field. On the other side stands our wing leader and behind him, between the trees, shimmer … golden eyes. Sgaeyl. His dragon. And the way her eyes are fixed on the boys in front of Violet tells me how annoyed she is.

“And what if we don’t listen to you? You can’t do anything, Riorson” Jack mocks him. “That may be true, but Sgaeyl isn’t really a fan of bullies” To underline the statement, there is a deep growl echoing through the trees. Oh, she is definitely pissed.

Xadens eyes find mine and he smirks.

“Besides that, it’s not Sgaeyl you should be worried about right now” he says.

“Whatever” Jack growls and leaps forward into Violets direction. She throws a dagger with unbelievable precision into his shoulder and with a shout he goes down. That’s my girl.

While Trevor stays behind, Tynan and Oren attack together. Now I am thankful for the bow and arrows I grabbed as my weapon of choice, because the arrow I aimed landed directly in Tynans thigh. I jump down the tree and join the fight.

“Oh fantastic, the Generals little warrior princess is here too! Have you found yourself a dragon already? Surely Codagh or daddy must have bullied them to claim you!” Jack sneers and runs. First he says THAT again, and in front of the dragons too??? And then he runs? What a coward. But I can’t keep my focus on him when Trevor is attacking me as well. I hear Violet grunting somewhere behind me. Fuck, I need to focus.

‘Watch out!’ the feminine voice shouts in my head. ‘I know’ I growl back.

With my dagger I land a deep blow in Tynans abdomen. He screams in agony as I cut through him. He’ll bleed out if he won’t get any medical treatment. So far, I am completely unharmed.

I join Violets side in front of the golden dragon, to protect the little thing.

‘If she hears you calling her ‘little thing’ she’ll try to bite you’ there she is again. ‘Oh, so it’s a she’

‘Andarnaurram. Andarna for short’

Well thanks?

‘You’re welcome’

Oh, for fucks sake.

“Are you okay, Silver one?” I ask the girl next to me. “I’ll live. Hopefully” she says.

“I won’t let anything happen to you” I growl pissed. During the fight Xaden must have stepped forward, because he is not leaning against his tree anymore. As if he wanted to… to help Vi? Damn, talk about whipped.

Oren lays unconscious in front of us after Vi knocked him out with the grip of her dagger, Tynan stands behind him ready to strike again and Trevor is a bit more far away. My eyes are fixed on him because I know for sure he wants his revenge for the challenge he lost against me.

Suddenly, both of them look ridiculously shocked and Trevor runs into the forest. A dark shadow flies over the field and when I turn around, I flinch violently. The black dragon. He is incredibly big but not as big as the black beast. And he looks pissed. I move out of the way the same time as Violet.

Tynan tries to run away but his thigh is still wounded due to the arrow sticking in it and the blood loss of the wound in his abdomen. The black dragon growls loudly and then … there is fire. In just a few seconds there is nothing but the smell of burning flesh and death in the air.

Xaden and Sgaeyl are long gone.

“I can’t kill an unconscious man!” Violet suddenly says while looking up the dragon. What?!

“Yeah, that surely says something about them but not me.”

Oh. Oh my god. My eyes widen. The dragon, THE black dragon is choosing her! I am a bit jealous of her I have to admit.

‘Excuse me?!’ someone is offended.

‘Well while you are watching your friend bond with Tairn, I am waiting for you! There is a boy here, trying to claim me but I am just bored by him. You think you can finally show up?’ she asks annoyed.

‘What boy?’ I ask curious while I make my way to her. My feelings are leading me through the woods, leaving Violet behind me. Whatever happens now is out of my control. I just hope she can stay seated, or Tairn is catching her if she falls.

‘The one that just ran away from you before Tairn showed up’ she says.

The boy that run- oh HELL NO! Trevor! That is MY dragon, you fucker! I run through the woods as fast as I can to reach them. She chose me, so therefore he can fuck off. I reach the part of the valley, where she leaded me and step forward into the clearing.

‘Oh, now you accept me, little flame?’ she asks amused.

‘Little flame?’ Where does this come from?

‘Your hair is resembling fire’ Ah, makes sense.

And that’s when I see him, Trevor in front of a … massive midnight blue dragon. Amari, she is gorgeous. ‘Thank you, I can say the same about you.’

Furious, the boy turns around and glares at me. This is going to get dirty.

‘Show me, what you are made of and you will never have to fight alone anymore, little flame.’

Come on Trevor. I’ll rip you apart.

[ariseur]

౨ৎ Heya! I saw you were asking for requests again! NICEEE!! I also saw that you're 🇲🇽 in your bio, me too! :3 so I have an idea that I like to think about often, but how do you think Satoru would be a get-together with your family like having Carne asada for the 1st time or enjoying your families dynamic. I'm not sure if Im explaining myself well, but I hope it kinda makes sense ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ you can also do this idea with other jjk characters too not just Satoru if you'd like ദ്ദി( Ò ,<) ✨️

- 🌧 anon

“are you sure you’ll be able to handle them?”

gojo turned his head towards your voice, slicked with dulcet tones of worry. you knew he could handle a lot of things, he could practically sweet talk anything just as well as he could fight anything — but you always made sure just in case. even if he gave you the same answer all the time; “of course i’ll be able to handle your family, i am the strongest, after all.”

and the echoed words in your brain only mimicked the way satoru’s lips moved to answer you, his grin only widening as he held the tin container of food. the scent of warm tortillas and cebolla filled his and your senses as it had seeped through a small opening in the foil and alerted its escape with its smell.

“you remember some of the spanish i taught you, right? just keep it cool, use usted for now, and—“

“baby, i’ve been using duolingo for months when you told me your family was gonna visit,” he gave you a kiss on your cheek before pressing his back against the front gate, opening it from behind, “have you no faith in me?”

“i’m just saying,” you muttered. your shoulders raised in a curt shrug. “deal with it your way,” locking the gate behind you, you lead gojo to the front door of the rental they were staying at — which honestly, already looked trashed even from the outside. bright lights and semi-loud music emitting from the backyard, your head peeked to the side and spotted your mother and a few of your cousins dancing around her, making a circle as they joined hands and sung along to the music.

you looked over at your beloved, warning him beforehand as well as you said, “too late to back out now, right—“ only to realize your boyfriend had gone ahead of you and began to greet your mother with a cheery, “¡hola!”

she laughed as they exchanged names and he kissed her cheek and introduced himself. pulling back from the affectionate greeting, she called over your tía to come see. huffing, you placed the jug of agua de pepino on the table and made your way over to your family alongside gojo. as you came closer you could hear the coos and gasps of awe of, “¡ay, tus ojos!”.

you crossed your arms as you felt your annoyance already rise, your tía always did the most at the carne asadas. your mother smiled warmly at you, giving you a hug as you glared at your other relative who was clearly fawning over your boyfriend. your aunt clapped her hands and raised the volume of her voice as the music got louder, “ah, quieres una chela?”

you shook your head and stepped forward, answering for him, “él esta bien, tía. he’s not very good with alcohol—“

“ay, metiche, i think he can answer for himself, no?” your eye twitched as she turned back to him before he raised a hand and waved her off. “no gracías.”

you stayed around for a little bit before you heard a slurred, “¡mija!” your head whipped around to see your other tía beckoning you over, “¡ven! ven aquí!”

you threw a sheepish smile to satoru who gave you a hasty wave before your other aunts and cousins began to flock around him and tug at his glasses and hair, in awe of the light colors and toned body. jogging over to the other bench, you scooted over next to her as she raised her eyebrows behind her black solo cup.

“mandé?” you asked. she swallowed her drink before nodding her head into the direction of satoru and inquiring, “¿es eso tu novio? he’s handsome,” she drew out the ‘e’ as you scoffed, rolling your eyes as you saw him floating around the backyard to properly greet everybody, shaking the men’s hands and messing around with your little primos.

“oh pues, everybody seems to think so too,” you drummed your fingers against your thighs and blew out some warm air into the harsh cold, ears booming along with the music. your tía offered you a cup, smiling as you took it into your hands. you shrugged — what’s the worst that could happen, you thought.

next thing you know, you’re leaning on satoru, giggling as some oldies play on the blasting speaker from afar. your hands intertwined with his as you heard fake gags from the little kids who had apparently just looked up from their ipads to see you and your beloved slow dancing with each other, clearly somewhat drunk.

he placed soft kisses on your jaw that made your stomach flutter as he mumbled, “someone’s a little tipsy, aren’t they,” against your ear. you hummed, letting out a small chuckle as his hand brushed against your ribs, causing a tickling sensation to pulse around your abdomen.

“okay, baby, i think we need to get y’home.”

“nooo — satoruuu,” you dragged out the vowels unnecessarily long. and as the two of you chatted, your tía watched from the sidelines, i guess alcohol really does help in some situations, she thought. her smile only widened when he dipped you at the end of the song, the bright and lively lights coming to its inevitable halt as a noise complaint would soon be filed. you didn’t care have a care in the world, the only thing occupying your mind at the moment was home and satoru — but i guess those things are synonymous, aren’t they?

𐙚 taglist ; @seternic @kalulakunundrum @sad-darksoul @kasumitenbaz (comment to be added!!!)

𐙚 similar post here about gojo and a latina / foreign reader 🫶

𐙚 requests are closed — june twenty eighth, 2024

[gingernut1314]

Pleasure Doing Business With You ch. 5

Toji Fushiguro x F!Reader

Summary: You convince Toji to take a shower with the promise of lunch and sweet treats.

Warnings: pre-star plasma vessel, reader is the cousin of Mamaugro, reader is Tsumiki's mom, Tsumiki and Magumi are cousins, gendered terms, grief/mourning, misuse of alcohol

Word Count: 3.1K

Tag list: @sordidmusings @lostfirefly @needsleep3000 @onebatch--twobatch

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The store wasn’t too far of a walk, but a walk it had to be seeing as you had yet to locate Megumi’s car seat--if he had one. You had stopped by your car, grabbed out the light pink baby wrap carrier you had thankfully kept after Tsumiki had grown out of it, strapped Megumi to your chest, and went about doing your shopping. 

You had bought Tsumiki a tamago sando to munch as you shopped to keep her from exploding from hunger. You bought all essential cleaning supplies, things you would need to make quick meals, and a wagon so that you wouldn’t have to lung all the groceries back.

 It took you about an hour to get all your shopping done, Tsumiki now passed out in the wagon as you pulled it back towards the filthy townhome. Megumi had also fallen asleep, his usually grumpy face all soft and peaceful. You did a quick stop back at your car to load as much as you could into the wagon without crushing your daughter before finally making it back.

You went about bringing everything into the home, putting it by the door so that it wouldn’t be in the way of your cleaning. 

Toji was nowhere in sight and definitely not in the shower as you had asked him. It pissed you off but gave you room to set up a little play area for Megumi and Tsumiki in the living room without worrying about the man. 

You set rules with your daughter about playing with the baby before starting on cleaning. 

It was bad. 

So much worse than you had originally thought. 

You wanted to vomit at all the sights and smells that were bombarding your senses, but you pressed on after opening all the windows in the downstairs area. 

You took a pause to feed Megumi and gave Tsumiki a snack before going back at it. 

You tackled the fridge next only to find it was as bad as you had imagined and the freezer did in fact hold pouches of breastmilk, expiration dates marked in black Sharpie. Marked in handwriting you recognized instantly to be your cousins. 

You debated for a long time whether you would keep it. It would be good for Megumi…the best for him but--but the idea of you going about the process of prepping it made a painfully hollow feeling fill your chest.

It was thrown into one of the large trash bags to be forgotten about. 

It took you an hour--almost two to clean the whole kitchen. There were still dishes that needed to get run through the dishwasher, but other than that everything sparkled. You went about putting away all the groceries you had bought before putting Megumi and Tsumiki down for a nap.

As you came back down the stairs, you found Toji trudging through the door. He looked--

“Are you--tell me you aren’t drunk.” You came to a stop at the bottom of the stairs to watch him wander over, Toji rubbing his face as if he was exhausted. 

“I’m not.” He sounded annoyed, like your concern wasn’t valid. You watched in disbelief as he pulled his hands from his flushed face and smirked down at you as he came to a pause before you. 

God, why was he so tall? It only made you more mad.

“Maybe I am.” You huffed, crossing your arms tightly over your chest. “Hey,” He elongated the word as he pulled closer to you. You felt your ankles hit the bottom step when you tried to back up, remembering what had happened the last time he was drunk and this close. “You said you wouldn’t get me beer. I had to take matters into my own hands.” He gave a huff of his own, leaning down so that he could look directly into your eyes. 

You felt your heart begin to beat rapidly in your chest, your grip around yourself growing near bruising. 

“I didn’t because of this.” Your words came out weaker than you should have allowed. “What if I had gotten beer? Hum?” Toji’s hazy eyes gleaned in humor. 

“Well then, I would be inclined to do a trick for you. I am a good boy after all.” His voice grew deeper, nearly shaking through your rib cage. Those damn eyes of his scanned you over like he was picking out the best place to grab hold of you. And his smell--it was too strange, too dark, too wild. It almost possessed your body with its allure.

“Stop.” You snapped, your arms tightening further. You wanted to curl in on yourself, but you kept tall. 

Green eyes fluttered back up to your own eyes, that damn smirk still on his lips. He found this funny. He found all this so funny and it made you want to slap him to get rid of that damn smirk. 

“Will you take a shower?” 

“Will I get lunch?” You gave him a simple nod. He nodded back, moving past you as he shuffled up the stairs to disappear into the bathroom just at the top of them. As you watched him go, your hand ran up your arm and collarbone to find rest over your mouth to muffle the shaky breath you had been keeping back.

What the fuck were you going to do about him? 

He couldn’t keep coming back slobby drunk. 

He couldn’t keep--his eyes. They needed to keep off you. He needed to stay away from you. 

You tried to shove all thoughts of the man out of your mind as you went about making everyone lunch. You had decided to make the sandwich the lady who you had once lived across the hall from taught you to make. They were tasty and dirt cheap. A win, win in your books. They soon become you and Tsumiki’s favorite meal. 

You wondered if Toji would enjoy them…but then you assumed he probably liked anything he could get his hands on. 

You wrapped a sandwich up for Tsumiki to eat when she woke up, placing it in the freshly cleaned fridge before making you and Toji’s food. You had just finished plating the sandwich and orange slices when you heard the bathroom door open and a half-naked Toji climbed down the stairs. 

“Shit--that smells good.” He mumbled, making his into the kitchen to peek at the food. 

“It’s just--it’s just chicken and some--” You tried to explain what was within the sandwich but you couldn’t keep focused. Not when his smokey scent was so close again, now dampened by whatever soap he had used. He smelled fresh and like--cinnamon?  

You’re eyes wandered and your focus was as good as lost.

Toji was muscle. Just pure muscle. 

And good muscle too. Muscle you could tell he had worked on and the muscle he used. It wasn’t fake muscle like those bodybuilders you would see in magazines. His skin looked soft and smooth and was only interrupted here and there by faint scars.

Scars. 

Why did he have so many scars? 

Your eyes found a small scar on his abdomen and your eyes left said scar to find his prominent Apollos belt--hard lines that disappeared beneath the white towel he had wrapped around his waist. Hard lined that made your face feel like you had shoved it into a pot of boiling water.

Maybe--just maybe you might see why your cousin would have been interested in a guy like him. 

Maybe.

Toji reached for one of the plates growing even closer to you. His closeness made you feel even hotter, but you snapped out of your damning daze and pulled the plate out of his reach before he could take it. 

Sharp, green eyes snapped down onto you not at all pleased.  

“I was a good dog wasn’t I?” A deep frown pulled on his lips which usually stayed all too smug. “I took a shower like you asked. You promised lunch as my reward.” 

“You need to change.” His eyes only narrowed further. 

“Why?” 

“Why?” You repeated with a huffing laugh. “Because it’s unhygienic to walk around buck-ass naked.” Toji rolled his eyes oh so dramatically like it was truly such a hassle to change.

“I’m wearing a towel.” 

“No. Get changed. Into something clean.” You pulled the plate further away when he tried for it again. “Do you have clean clothes?” Toji shoved a thumb towards the living room turned makeshift bedroom. You noticed the pile of clothes on the other armchair closest to the tv and huffed. “There is no way those are all clean.”

“I’ll change.” He didn’t seem to understand he was still very much in your personal bubble and still very much making you burn alive. “If you give me some of those.” He redirected his hand to point toward the top of the fridge. You looked to find him pointing to the box of kinoko no yama’s you had hidden up there to keep out of sight from Tsumiki. 

“I bought those for myself.” Toji shrugged, that goodman smirk pulling at the corner of his lips again.

“I’ll change if you give me some with my lunch.” His eyes shined with mischief as he leaned in even closer. “Otherwise I’m a-okay to stay like this. It’s freeing, ya know?” Your lips pressed together thinly as you tried not to let your eyes slip from his own. To try and forget he was naked and little droplets of water still clung to his pale skin.

“Fine .” Toji chuckled, pulling away from you finally. 

“A pleasure doing business with you.” Toji winked before heading for his pile of clothes. You huffed, all but storming over to grab the box of snacks you had been looking forward to. “Make it a good handful, yeah.” 

“You’ll get what you get.” You grumbled as you opened the box. 

“Damn, you’re a hardballer huh?” 

“Just get changed.” The box made a muffled bang when you all but slammed it down on the countertop. Toji only continued to smirk at your frustration as he passed you once more. 

“These clean enough for ya?” He outstretched his hand to show you the clump of clothes he held. “Don’t think I’ve worn these yet.” He mused, scratching the side of his head like he was truly trying to think about it. 

“I’m sure it's fine.” Toji didn’t seem satisfied with this answer cause he came all too close again. All too close and you could smell his spiced, smoky scent again. A scent that made your frustration deepen in a warming way. 

“Ah, come on. Give ‘em a little whiff.” Toji wiggled them before your face. “What if they smell like shit 'cause I’ve been livin’ in a…what did you call it? Yeah, a landfill? Wouldn’t want to smell that bad.”

“I’m not going to smell the clothes you’ve been keeping in a goddamn pile.” You bit, swatting his hand away from you. 

Your breath hitched involuntarily at the feel of his skin against yours. 

Warm. 

And solid. 

Like stone. 

Stone that had been left out to bake in the sun only to be wrapped in pale, silky sheets to horde that warmth.

Soft stone you wanted to hold against your cheek and--

“Get changed.” You grit through the fluttering drop of your stomach. Toji only chuckled, finally backing off. 

“Yes ma’am.” And off he went into the downstairs bathroom. Once you heard the door shut with a soft click you gave a groan that sounded more like a growl as you roughly scrubbed your hands over your face. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck. 

What the fuck did he think he was doing? Making you--you--

What was he doing? Giving you a damn headache that was for sure. 

…did he know what he was doing? Was he doing it on purpose? Was he trying to stress you out so much it killed you? 

Probably.

The door opened again before you could try to work through your thoughts. Out walked Toji fully clothed this time, though you noticed that his shaggy hair was still a bit too wet like he hadn’t bothered to fully dry off. You let it go because you could only handle so much from the man.

“Is this up to your standards?” You glanced over the outfit he was wearing; a gray crewneck and matching sweatpants. He was barefoot but you assumed he’d be wearing those ratty slides in a bit. “Can I eat now?” 

You said nothing as you slid his plate along the counter towards him. His green eyes sparkled in excitement as he all but hunched over and began wolfing down the sandwich like it was his last meal. You couldn’t help the small wrinkle of your nose at the sight, picking up a slice of orange and popping it into your mouth. 

“Can we talk like adults for a second?” You asked after a few moments of silence as you two ate. Toji glances your way, cheeks full of sandwich. 

“Depends on what ya want to talk about.” He spoke around the food in his mouth, only making your wrinkled nose crease further. 

“I want to talk about our situation here.” Fire flashed in those green eyes of his. 

“No.” You didn’t even give him the stratification of a sigh because you were determined to at least talk over a few things. So, you simply grabbed the box of kinoko no yama and fished out a small handful. You leaned forward and added them to the slowly disappearing pile already on his plate. 

“It’ll be quick. Just a few things and then we can be done.” Toji eyed you, then the added kinoko no yama, then to the box in your hands. He jutted his head towards the box, demanding more. You gave him more without complaint. “Do you have a job?” You watched Toji swallow the mouthful of the sandwich. 

“Did.” And then he was chowing down on another bite of sandwich.

“Okay…you did. Were you fired?” He shook his head. “You quit?” A nod. “So you could take care of--” He leveled you with a glare so hard and bloody it made your body lock up. Made your heart race and your mind scream at you to run, run, run . “Okay…okay. That’s fine.” You spoke carefully--calm and softly. 

He was hurting. 

Even though he was an asshole, he still lost someone who you knew he cared for deeply. So deeply it was turning him into a complete and utter mess with her gone. 

“I’m assuming you rent this townhome. Meaning rent is going to be due.” You continued, picking at the cardboard of the box of snacks in your hands. “I only have so much saved away. I’ve already started looking around for jobs and I think you need to find one too.” Toji’s eyes flickered over your features as he chewed his latest bite, taking you carefully in as you spoke.

 “I can help you if you need it, but you need a job. We have two small children to feed and clothe and house. It was a struggle to do that for Tsumiki all by myself and adding another one on--” You shook your head, feeling your fingertips begin to grow cold and vision narrow the slightest bit at the thought of it all.

“I can’t do that all by myself. If you could pay for rent and utilities, I would pay for food and the kids. I feel that is more than fair.” You kept that soft and calm tone praying he would agree without complaint. Praying your cousin was right. Praying that he was a good man deep, deep down.

“If I say no?” 

Of course. 

Of course . 

“I don’t think no is really an option. The kids cost a lot. Food, clothes, school, daycare, doctor visits . Keep in mind I am paying for your child, not just mine.” You could feel your sensitive tone slipping away the longer you spoke. Slipping away with no chance of gaining it back. “I don’t care where you work as long as you are paying your part off.” 

“You might regret that.” Toji simply said. Simply said and took another bite of the sandwich, finishing it off. “The where I mean.” 

You didn’t quite understand what he meant by that but he wasn’t saying no to finding a job and that is all you cared about.

“I know I won’t as long as we have a roof over our heads, running water, and lights,” Toji’s eyes shifted. Shifted to that dark look you had seen only a few times since meeting him. A look that reminded you of a predator. A look that made you want to run upstairs, grab your kids, and leave. 

“Whatever you say, boss.” Toji shrugged, shoving a few of the mushroom-looking snacks into his mouth.

You let the air grow silent once more as you tried to keep yourself grounded. Tried to keep back the fearful burning building in your eyes. 

You were scared of him. 

Whatever the hell he was alluding to scared the shit out of you. 

Dangerous. He was dangerous…

“Maybe he is in a gang. Maybe he made her join.” You’re aunt’s words echoed through your mind. Thoughts she had spoken huddled around in the kitchen with the other female members of your family as they worked on crafting dinner for everyone. Words you had scoffed at but--

Maybe he was in a gang. Maybe he seemed dangerous because he really was. It would explain the scars. The dark look in his eyes. 

Maybe…maybe he had killed people before. 

Maybe you were forcing him back into such bloody work and that's why you would regret it. 

Whatever the reason, you were terrified. 

“...you going to let me cut your hair?” You suddenly asked.

Brush your feelings aside. It’s what you always had done in the face of danger--of evil. 

Ignore it. 

Cover your eyes and ears and ignore it. 

Toji rose a brow at you as he popped more of the sweet snacks into his mouth. You turned from him as you grabbed your sandwich. “You might act like a dog, but you don’t need to actually look the part.” You took a bite from your food as Toji laughed. A rich thing that helped you further forget the danger until it bore its fangs at you again.

 “I’ll only do so many tricks in one day, warden.” His newest nickname for you made you roll your eyes as you swallowed. “Get me some beer and you can cut it tomorrow. Gotta look my best for work, right?” His words surprised you. You didn’t think he would have actually agreed but…

“Fine. Deal.” Again that richly deep laugh poured from his scarred lips once more.

“Always a pleasure doing business with ya.”

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[tiredofthehumanlife]

Heavily inspired by Footnote

Barbie dolls: Regulus black x your bitch ass :) love you

Words: 2.5k ish

Summary: Regulus get trashed and confesses his love for you, you tell him to tell you in the morning when his ass is sober

Warnings: mentions of suicide, also Reggie is called gay by the narrator, underage drinking, drunkness written by someone who exclusively drinks Dr pepper, regulus cries and whines a lot, y/n joke, readers a perfect of no specified house, regulus gets no repercussions

Regulus was not a big fan of parties. He’s too Y/N for them, he once tried to bring a book to one. Barty threatened him with a knife. However even with his extreme hatred for B.O. he felt like dabbling in underage drinking. Regulus he was totally in love with his best friend, that’s you, a while ago. It was unfortunately in the Astronomy tower.

During class, he was muttering angrily to Barty about how you had ditched him for some dumb Ravenclaw, contradictory terms. Barty whispered that just because Regulus was in love with you did not mean he had to make it Barty’e problem at 2 am. With that Regulus froze, staring out at the wall. He was, wasn’t he?

He felt his mind screaming bloody murder, throwing plates and family heirlooms. How could he fall in love with his best friend? How gay was he? How much of his brother’s shadow was he? Regulus reached out and gripped Barty’s forearm. Barty turned back as the class was dismissing, filing out down the stairs. Barty patted Regulus’ shoulder before tearing his arm out of Regulus’ grip. Regulus stared out at the ledge.

“Barty, I must kill myself. It seems I am more of my cousin’s brother than I first realized.” With that Regulus flung himself towards the edge of the tower. Barty caught him by the back of his shirt, pulling Regulus tightly his chest. Barty awkwardly waddled Regulus towards the steps as Regulus continued to rabidly claw at Barty. Barty Stopped Regulus, ducking his head down to fling Regulus over his shoulder. Regulus bared his teeth, still trying to rabid his way out of Barty’s grip.

“It’ll pass, dear Reginald, It’ll pass.” Barty whispered, patting the back of Regulus thigh as he walked them both back to the commonroom. After that Regulus was well aware of his feeling for you. You weren’t. You were blissfully unaware. Alas, Regulus doesn’t know how to handle rejection that isn’t really rejection so he was offered alcohol by Barty.

So yes, Regulus went to a party. And no, he didn’t really like it, but he got booze so he accepted it. Barty didn’t even need to give Regulus a drink, Regulus was stealing them out of people’s hands. Barty got distracted dancing with Evan and others he entirely forgot he was on babysitting duty. Until he left to the bathroom and as he was washing his hands he gasped and stared in the mirror.

So he went searching for Regulus. Barty went around asking partially peeved people if they had seen a twat around shoulder height with black hair and an ugly shirt walking around. Most of them said no but one pointed Barty down a dark passageway behind a tapestry.

Barty sighed when he found Regulus sitting down the passageway on the floor. A small stack of red solo cups sitting next to him. Barty sat next to him. Regulus sighed. As he started talking, Barty realized how trashed he truly was. Regulus kept drifting off and staring over Barty’s shoulder, his words mixing together like food dye in water. Barty sighed standing up and pulling Regulus onto his feet. Barty kicked the stack of cups away deciding it wasn’t his problem.

On the way out Barty found Dorcas and Evan standing with each other. Pandora had decided she’d prefer to nap than go to a party. Barty gestured to Dorcas and Evan that they were leaving. Regulus was hanging off of Barty’s shoulder, mumbling about your eyes.

Evan pulled Regulus’ other arm over his shoulder. The three of them helped pull Regulus down the halls. As they were heading towards the dungeons they heard another set of footsteps. They got worried thinking it was a teacher or snobbish prefect, ducking behind a corner. Unfortunately Regulus didn’t get the message still muttering on about you. Dorcas slapped a hand over Regulus’ mouth. It was too late though, your head poking out from around the corner.

“Hey guys. Whatcha doing over here?” You asked, giving them a smile. Regulus’ head snapped up at your voice. He sighed when he saw you, leaning his head on Barty’s shoulder.

“Oh just hiding from snobbish prefects.” Barty said, rolling his eyes. You pointed to the prefect badge on your chest. Barty shrugged.

“He did say snobbish,” Dorcas muttered. “Which excludes you.” Evan nodded.

“You’re not snobbish. You’re more like snoggish.” Regulus whispered, his voice ebbing back and forth. He waited for a laugh for his pun, when one didn’t come he continued. “You know, cause like you’re not a snob but snob is like snog and I want to-“ Barty saved Regulus the embarrassment, covering his mouth with his hand. You gave Regulus a worried a look.

“I see you guys went to that party that’s against the rules.” You said, giving them a joking grin. Regulus lifted his head away from Barty’s hand.

“I didn’ want to. Barty forced. Do you still love me?” Regulus rushed out, skipping over words his mind deemed unnecessary. Evan rolled his eyes. If Regulus wasn’t trashed more than Barty’s bed, Evan would mock him. Dorcas groaned slightly. You gave Regulus sad eyes as you watched his waterline fill with tears.

“Yes, baby. Of course I still love you.” This seemed to be the wrong move because it made Regulus cry. You cooed as he pushed his face into Barty’s shoulder, his body shaking. Evan scoffed and released Regulus, moving to stand next to Dorcas. Regulus flung both his arms around Barty’s neck, sobbing more. Barty groaned at the added weight.

“Uh, you know. I heard that the professors have their hands kinda full tonight because all those fights from last week. So there wont be anyone to bust your party. I’ll take Regulus and tuck him in, you guys go have fun.” Barty shook his head at you. You held you hands up, already peeling Regulus’ arms off Barty.

“The Slytherin commonroom is already on my route so I’m really just feeding two birds with one seed.” Regulus sniffed as he realized who was holding onto him, staring up at you with puppy eyes. Barty looked over to Evan and Dorcas. They both nodded. Barty shrugged.

“Okay, but if he’s not in bed when I get back, I’m going to kill you.” Barty said. You nodded. Evan quickly pecked your cheek. Regulus groaned. You rubbed his back, trying to soothe him.

“Best prefect ever, I love you so much.” Evan muttered before latching onto Barty’s hand and heading back towards the party. Dorcas watched you as you looked down at Regulus, a small smile and soft eyes. She felt sick to her stomach. She left with the boys, not knowing she could handle another second of your gushy love. You pulled Regulus up more, heaving his arm over your shoulders. He started muttering going on and on about the party. You hummed, giving him positive reinforcement when he gave you a moment to speak.

Eventually with a lot of working and pulling and huffing you made it to the Slytherin dorms. You helped Regulus out of his shoes, tossing his legs into his bed. Regulus kept talking as you pulled his blankets over him. You started tucking the blanket in around him. Regulus pulled his arms out from under the blanket, grabbing onto your shoulders. He whispered your name. If you didn’t know him, you wouldn’t have understood him.

“Yes, my love? I’m not getting you a burrito, you know what happened last time. Never again.” Regulus clumsily brought one of his hands up to your cheek, making you meet his eyes. He looked like he was about to cry again.

“I like you.” He whispered. You nodded, a grin twitching at the corner of your lips.

“I know.” Regulus groaned at you.

“I’m lying, I love you.” You nodded again. You gently tucked one of his curls away from his eyes.

“I know. I love you, too.” Regulus huffed at you, getting irritated that you didn’t seem to be understanding.

“No. I love you. Like kissing.” You nodded slowly. You noticed a book off to the side, sitting on top of his blankets. You picked it up as you answered him.

“I know.” You bookmarked the page and set it on his nightstand. You looked back to Regulus, finding his face in his hands. You heard him sniffle. You frowned and gently pulled his hands away.

“Why are you crying?”

“If you love me why don’t you do anything?” Regulus huffed. You cooed, cupping his cheek.

“Well you never said anything. I had my suspicions but I wasn’t going to assume on something like that.” Regulus groaned again, harshly knocking his head into your arm. You gently pecked the back of his hand.

“Well then can you kiss me now?” Regulus asked. You shook your head. Regulus whined, starting to cry. You leaned over him wiping his tears away.

“Why?” He mumbled, pitifully.

“You’re drunker than a skunk, babe.” Regulus groaned, shoving at your shoulders. You knew you were wearing a shit eating grin by now but it was silly to you. You lightly grazed your lips over Regulus’ cheek, making him freeze and stare at you with sparkling eyes.

“Tell you what, if you can remember to talk to me tomorrow about this, I’ll give you the best kiss I can muster.” Regulus gaped up at you, holding onto your shoulders again.

“Really?” He asked. You hummed and nodded. Regulus had a smile already growing on his face. You finished tucking him in before slowly backing away. Regulus fell asleep before you made it out the door.

The next morning you were chatting with another prefect in the Great Hall. They were telling you about how they caught two Hufflepuffs higher than a kite sitting behind a potted fern. You were interrupted by Barty, plopping down between you two. Barty threw his arms around you. Regulus stood on the other side of you. You smiled up at him. He looked tired. Regulus was sporting Dorcas’ thick bright green sunglasses. He glanced down at you. If you could see his eyebrows, you assumed he’d be lifting one. You ducked one hand behind him, holding onto the back of his knee. You just barely traveled up, grazing over the back of Regulus’ thigh.

“You remember anything I told you last night?” You asked. Regulus shrugged.

“I remember making a bad pun about snogging and that’s as far as my memory goes.” He pushed Dorcas’ sunglasses further up his nose.

“Mr. Black you know the dress code.” You heard Slughorn’s voice behind you. Regulus glanced back.

“Suck my dick.” Slughorn gave Regulus a disgusted look as Regulus turned back around. You looked back at Professor Slughorn.

“It’s fine. I’ll write him up.” Slughorn looked between you two before stalking off. You trailed your fingertips up and down the back of Regulus’ leg. “truly you should not have done that.” Regulus shrugged.

“He’s just jelly because he can’t pull off those cool shades, huh Reg?” Barty said. Regulus reached around you and smacked the back of Barty’s head. Evan sat across from you.

“God I wish you would pull those off.” Evan muttered. Regulus flipped Evan off.

“Well I like them. I think you make them work.” You smiled up at Regulus. You felt slightly more judged just staring up at a pair of sunglasses with barely a quarter of Regulus’ face peaking out from under them. You felt Regulus gently nudged your chin up with his finger.

“Next time you go into the dorms, can you talk quieter?” You glanced over at Pandora’s voice. She was standing over Evan staring at you. Regulus dropped his hand to hold onto your shoulder.

“Yeah sorry.” She nodded, sitting down next to Evan.

“You were in the dorms?” Regulus asked. You glanced over at him.

“Yes? Baby, I’m the one who took you back to bed.” He nodded.

“Oh yeah, you did do that. I remember tripping over your feet in the halls.” You rolled your eyes at Regulus.

“Well don’t be a bitch, Regulus.” Evan muttered.

“I’ll be your bitch, Rosie.” Barty muttered, winking across the table. Evan snarled at him.

“Not over breakfast guys. You have to let Regulus gain at least one third of memories first. Also it’s gross.” You said, pointing your fork at them. You heard Regulus mutter a ‘huh’ at the mention of his name.

“You can join.” Barty whispered.

“No they may not.” Evan said, annoyed.

“So you admit there is something to join in on?” Barty pointed at Evan. Evan pinched his lips together, caught.

“You walked right into that one.” Dorcas muttered, joining the table. You zoned them out, giving your attention back to Regulus.

“How are you feeling?” Regulus glared at you, or so you assumed.

“Like someone pierced an arrow through my temples.” You cooed, pressing your chin into his hip.

“I’m sorry, baby. If I had known you were going I would’ve gotten a better babysitter.” Regulus scoffed.

“I’m not a child. You’re not getting a babysitter, because I’m not a baby.” Regulus muttered.

“Fair, but you like when I call you baby.” You patted his thigh, giving him a cocky grin.

“Deception, lies, and deceit.” Regulus said. You hummed, tauntingly. Regulus shook his head, choosing to ignore you. You tilted your head.

“You really don’t remember anything you told me last night?” Regulus shook his head, looking down at you.

“Why? Did I say something wrong? I swear I showed it to the doctor he told me to wear socks on my hands to bed, I’m working on it.” You stared at Regulus for a moment. You felt the part of you brain that worried for your friends tell you to ask about what he showed and what it had to do with socks on your hands. But the other part of your brain muttered ‘Do you know what that is? Not my problem’.

“No. Nothing wrong.” Regulus tilted his head to the side, staring at you from behind his obnoxiously large sunglasses. Regulus clicked his tongue.

“Yeah well, whatever. Do you think my teachers will notice if I skip?” You nodded.

“Yes, you’re never absent.” Regulus scoffed at you. He squeezed at your shoulder.

“Well consider this: I don’t want to go.” You hummed. Regulus nodded at you.

“Thats a good point.” You walked Regulus to his first class, abusing your prefect privileges to have your tardy ignored. You were a little upset Regulus didn’t remember anything but you assumed he’d remember later on during the day.

He did not. And you did not bring it up. You’d just have to wait until Regulus got lost at a party again.

Part two