#hi have more of my gay fathers i was practicing how they’d sound and feel to me with their dialogue | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

alexthedrummerboy · 4 years ago

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Darkest Before The Dawn

pairing: willex, past luke/alex

summary: "your parents were never cool again after you told them you were gay.” OR an exploration into alex’s past, his family life, and his relationship with religion

essentially this is all one big angsty headcanon

authors note: basically i’ve been thinking about the gold chain alex wears around his neck and i’ve been way overanalysing what it is and i thought - what if it used to be a cross necklace that his devout parents made him wear?? also i’m so desperate for alex to have more backstory that i’m pulling it out of every nook and cranny at this point

trigger warning: homophobia, bad parenting

ao3

It starts when he’s seven. He’d invited Bobby over to his house after school to play, not knowing that his dad had come home from work early. They’re sitting at the dining table, drawing with Alex’s new 36 pack of crayons when he hears it.

“I just think letting him do all that... art stuff is gonna make him...” he hears his dad say to his mom, “...soft. Girly. We already have one daughter, we don’t need another one.”

Alex doesn’t really understand what his Dad means, but he drops the crayon he’s holding and pokes Bobby on the wrist lightly. “I’m bored,” he says quietly, though his picture remains on the table unfinished. “Can we go do somethin’ else?”

Bobby furrows his eyebrows and looks down at his paper. “But... I didn’t finish colouring my dragon.”

Alex looks at his Dad in the kitchen. He’s still talking to his mom, both of their heads bowed. He has that look on his face that reminds Alex of the time his mom tried to convince them to go vegetarian for a week. “We can finish colouring later... maybe,” he says. “Let’s go play in my room.”

Bobby takes one last look at his drawing but nods, gently folding the piece of paper in half and tucking it into his backpack. “Okay.”

They walk up to Alex’s room together, hand-in-hand like always. They pass the kitchen on the way and Alex’s dad turns his head, scowling deeper when he looks at their hands. Suddenly Alex feels cold all over.

“Boys,” he says, deep voice booming. “You’re getting a little old to be holding hands, aren’t you?”

Alex lets go of Bobby’s hand immediately and tucks it into his trouser pocket instead, nodding. Bobby looks like he wants to protest but Alex just nudges him and nods towards his room.

They walk away and Alex tries to brush the experience off. He doesn’t eat much at dinner that night.

---

His dad makes him quit choir the next year. He’s up in his room practicing for the Christmas festival when he hears three quiet knocks.

“Come in,” he says, closing his music book. His dad walks in, still in his shirt and tie from work. “Oh. Hi, Dad.”

His dad smiles stiffly. “Alex, what are you doing?”

Alex looks between his dad and his choir book for a moment. “Practicing for the festival,” he says, a smile growing on his face. “Mrs. Carson gave me a solo for the first--”

“I’ve been thinking about that,” his dad says, pursing his lips. “Wouldn’t you be happier... playing a sport or something? What about baseball? You know when your old man was in school, I was a real killer on the pitch.”

Alex’s tongue feels dry in his mouth the longer his dad speaks. He hates baseball. “Um... I-I like choir, though.” His voice is quiet, barely above a breath. His dad sighs and shakes his head. Alex feels an overwhelming sense of anxiety rise inside his chest. He hates disappointing people.

“I’m just worried about you, son,” he says, sitting down on the edge of Alex’s bed. “Okay, maybe not baseball. How about... soccer?”

Alex shuffles around on his chair. He feels like his heart has stopped beating. “Drums,” he mumbles, looking down at his hands. His dad leans closer.

“Speak up, Alex.”

Alex looks up, clenching his jaw. “I-I wanna learn how to play the drums,” he says. “L-like that guy from The Rolling Stones.”

His dad goes quiet, scratching his chin like he’s thinking about it, before he smiles and nods. He claps Alex on the shoulder hard enough that it makes him wince. “Drums eh? Sure, we’ll get you a kit and you can set it up in the basement.” As he turns to walk out of Alex’s room, he turns and throws him a cheeky smile. “My boy, the drummer. You know they say girls love drummers.”

Alex isn’t sure why, but that comment makes him feel sick. He stares at his closed door for too long after his dad leaves, his thoughts twisting and turning in his mind.

---

When Alex receives his first cross, he’s 12-years-old. He immediately vows never to take it off. It’s a beautiful piece of jewellery; a small gold cross on a solid gold chain. When his mom slips it around his neck, he feels... protected, somehow. Safe.

His mom smiles at him tearily as she hooks the clasp around his neck, running her hand down the side of his face. “Congratulations, baby,” she says quietly. “You know, my mother gave me my first cross when I was exactly your age. ”

Alex just smiles and tugs on the chain lightly, feeling the cool metal against his thumb and forefinger. “Thanks, mom,” he says quietly, looking down at where it’s dangling against the soft blue of his button down.

His sister, Andrea, comes from behind him and knocks his shoulder lightly. Her own cross is silver and smaller than his, contrasting against her light skin perfectly. He doesn’t remember when she got hers. She was four years older than him and got hers when he was just a little kid. “Congrats, Lexi,” she says.

His dad comes out of the kitchen, a bottle of champagne in one hand and two flutes in the other. He’s beaming. “This calls for a celebration!”

His mother looks at his dad and tuts quietly, though she still looks pleased. “Michael, it’s barely 9. We have to leave for church soon.”

His dad simply brushes off her worry. “My son is being confirmed, Linda. We’re celebrating.” He kisses her on the cheek and hands her a champagne flute. “It won’t take long.”

He pours himself and Alex’s mother a small amount of champagne and Alex watches, entranced as they cheers and take a sip. His mother and his father lock eyes before handing their glasses to Alex and Andrea, smiling secret smiles.

“Just this once,” his dad says. “Just one sip.”

Andrea takes the flute immediately and takes a sip. Alex watches her for a moment before taking his dad’s flute and lifting it up to his mouth.

The bubbles fizz and pop in his mouth. The taste is unpleasant, but... the feeling of his dad’s eyes on him, proud and sparkling with happiness make the experience a million times better.

As they drive to church, Alex keeps his hand firmly clasped around his cross, smiling the entire time.

---

Alex receives his first kiss when he’s 14. It happens in his basement with Luke Patterson. He’d invited him over so they could work on a song together. Luke had discovered him playing drums in the music room one day and had instantly recruited him to join his band, alongside Bobby and Reggie Anderson.

They’d long since abandoned practicing any form of music and were lounging on the couch in Alex’s basement, playing video games on his Sega Genesis. He’s so close to beating Luke at Mortal Kombat. They’ve been playing for 45 minutes and Alex has managed to lose every round so far.

But, with a fatal blow, Alex watches his character drop to his knees as Luke’s character poses victoriously. He groans loudly and leans back against the couch, trying his best not to pout as he hears Luke’s laughter next to him. “No fair!” he exclaims, dropping his controller beside him on the couch.

Luke smirks, boxing Alex in the shoulder lightly. “Not my fault I’m better at this game than you are,” he says. He’s leaning towards Alex, his face mere inches away from his shoulder. “I’m just naturally skilled.”

Alex blushes and shuffles away from him, leaning into the arm rest and trying to ignore his heart as it pounds away in his chest. “Naturally ugly, more like,” he mumbles. It’s not the best comeback, but he can’t really focus right now.

Luke laughs anyway, punching Alex’s arm again and turning back to face the TV. Neither of them speak for a moment but Alex can feel the air thicken with a strange tension that he’s never felt before.

His hand automatically comes up to grip his cross, the edges of the metal digging into his palm. He takes a short breath in and out, feeling the cold metal warm up in his hand.

He feels Luke’s eyes on him and he turns. There’s a small smile on Luke’s face that Alex can’t help but return. “What?” he asks.

Luke shrugs. “Nothin’,” he says softly.

Then, he leans in closer. Alex does not pull away.

Before he even realises what’s happening, they’re kissing. It’s chaste and completely innocent; a light press of lips against lips. Alex can tell that Luke hasn’t bothered to put on chapstick in his entire 14 years of life, but he tastes vaguely of grape bubblegum and iced tea. It’s nice.

As they kiss, he feels his grip on his cross loosen until his hand falls completely slack, landing on top of Luke’s hand where it’s resting on a cushion.

They’re interrupted by the sound of footsteps against carpeted stairs. Alex jumps out of his seat and lands on the floor in front of the couch. Luke loses his balance and falls after him, landing face first in the couch cushion where Alex had just been sitting.

The basement door opens and Andrea pokes her head through, holding two capri suns and a bowl full of chips. She sees Alex on the floor and furrows her eyebrows. “Why are you on the ground?”

Alex clears his throat and blinks down at his knees, trying to hide his shaking hands. “Um... it-it’s more comfortable down here,” he mumbles.

Andrea shrugs and walks in, placing the bowl of chips and the drinks on the coffee table. “Mom told me to give these to you.” She looks between the TV and the two of them. “I thought you guys were practicing.”

“We were!” Luke says, standing up and walking over to where his guitar is resting on the other side of the room. “We took a quick video game break, but we’re ready to get back to work. Right, Alex?”

Alex nods, but he can’t stand back up. “Right,” he says breathlessly, giving Andrea a weak smile. “Thanks for the snacks.”

Andrea nods, but she looks suspicious. She walks out of the room and shuts the door behind her. Alex doesn’t exhale until her footsteps have retreated completely. He breathes out shakily and draws his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around them.

“Hey,” Luke says, running to Alex’s side. His hand hovers above Alex’s back before resting just behind him on the couch. “You okay?”

It takes a minute, but eventually Alex nods and looks up at Luke. “Yeah,” he replies, though his hands are still balled into tight fists. “I’m good.”

Luke nods, his hand tightening and loosening its grip on the couch cushion a few times. “Was that... weird?” he asks quietly. Alex has never heard him sound this unsure before.

He shakes his head, a small smile growing on his face. “No,” he says quietly, and he means it too. “I don’t think so, anyway.”

Luke nods again, smiling brightly at Alex. “Okay. Cool.”

“Can we not... tell anyone? About that?” He asks quietly, looking up at Luke, eyes pleading. “I-I don’t know if I’m... if that...”

“Alex, of course,” Luke says earnestly, finally reaching over and resting his hand in Alex’s shoulder. “It’ll be just between us.”

Alex nods, smiling weakly. “Cool. Thanks.”

He feels mildly comforted by Luke’s words, but he can’t help the anxiety that grows in his stomach. He stands up and walks over to his kit, sitting down at his stool and twirling his drumstick in his hand.

When he closes his eyes that night, snuggled up in his bed, all he can think about are warm lips and iced tea.

---

He comes out at 16.

It doesn’t go well.

His mom cries like he’s just told her he died... but what makes him more anxious is his dad’s reaction.

He doesn’t say anything at first. Just stares at Alex with that those hard, light eyes. He doesn’t even look angry, he just looks... disappointed.

“Dad?” he says quietly. The word gets caught in his throat.

His dad breathes in slowly and stands up. He walks out of the living room shaking his head. Alex watches him go until he’s completely out of sight. All he can hear are his mothers sobs. All he can feel is the weight of his guilt pressing down on him.

His cross feels like it’s burning his skin through the fabric of his t-shirt. Suddenly it feels like he’s wearing a ten pound weight around his neck. It’s hard to swallow.

He wants to comfort his mom, but he doesn’t even know what he would say. What could he say that wouldn’t make everything worse?

So, he stands up and takes one last look at his mom before walking down the hall. He passes Andrea on the way to the basement. She looks at him and then toward the living room where they can both hear their mother’s sobs.

“What’s wrong with mom?” she asks, placing a hand on his elbow. The touch burns.

Alex opens his mouth to speak but the words he wants to say get stuck in his throat. He brushes past her, ignoring her questions and running down the stairs to the basement and shutting the door behind him.

He sits down behind his drums and raises his hand to clasp his necklace, holding it so tightly his hand begins to hurt. He can’t cry. He thinks if he could, then maybe he’d feel better, but... the tears won’t come.

So, he lets go of his cross and picks up his sticks instead, twirling the left one in his hand a few times before hitting his high tom once, hard. It feels good, but the feeling doesn’t last long.

Eventually, he loses himself in the rhythm, hitting each drum harder than the last. He forgets for a moment; forgets about the disaster that had happened just minutes ago upstairs. He pauses for a minute to catch his breath but finds his mind wandering; is his mother still crying? Why hadn’t his dad said anything?

He shakes the thought free before pounding on his drums again. He’s not even beating out a rhythm now; he’s just trying to fill the space with noise to keep his thoughts out.

He’s interrupted when the door opens. It's his dad, holding an empty duffel bag, a somber expression on his face. Alex raises his eyebrows and takes his earplugs out of his ears. “Dad?”

His dad winces when Alex speaks, throwing the empty duffel bag onto the floor. “Pack your things.”

All the blood drains from Alex’s face and he stands up on shaky legs. He’s gripping his drumsticks so tightly, it’s a miracle that the wood doesn’t fuse with his skin. “Wh-where’re we goin’?” he asks, though he has a suspicion.

“We aren’t going anywhere, son,” his dad says. His eyes are on the carpet. He can’t even look at Alex. “Your mother and I... we can’t have you staying in this house.”

“What?!”

“If you’re going to choose to live with your... affliction,” he spits out the word like it’s poison; and in his dad’s mind, perhaps it is, “then it won’t do to have you living here, corrupting us with your ungodly temptations.”

“Dad--”

His father holds up a hand. “I’ll give you 15 minutes to get your things and leave.” He turns to leave the basement but Alex calls him back.

“Where am I supposed to go?” he asks, voice cracking as he tries to fight the tears that threaten to run down his cheeks. He knows crying will only make him more upset. His father doesn’t turn around.

“You can figure that out on your own.” Then, he walks out. Alex is alone. After a few moments, he walks out from behind his drums and picks up the. empty bag with weak hands and walks up to his room.

He’s working on autopilot as he shoves clothes and shoes and random items (when will he ever need his model robot?) into the bag until it’s almost full to bursting. He drops the bag on his bed and stares at it. He can’t hear anything; all the sounds around him are dull, muted almost.

He turns around and catches a glimpse of his reflection in his bedroom mirror. He still looks the same as he had that morning when he’d gotten dressed for school. There are still drawings on the back of his hand in blue and black ink from third period when Bobby and Luke decided to draw on him in lieu of paying attention to what Mr. Peters was saying.

Remarkably, he looks the same... but he couldn’t be more different.

Alex’s eyes drop to the necklace around his neck. It almost hurts to look at now. He’d done well by his vow; hadn’t ever taken it off, even when Jeremy Matthews teased him about it (and received a firm smack on the head from Reggie).

Shakily, he lifts his hands and unclasps the necklace, holding onto the chain so tight that the links begin to make grooves in his skin. He takes hold of the cross and swallows thickly, looking at his warped reflection in the surface of it.

He slowly slides the cross off of the chain and places it on his nightstand. The chain, though, he keeps though he doesn’t really know why. He puts the chain back around his neck. It feels bare without the cross on it weighing it down, but... Alex finds he kind of likes it.

With that, he picks up his duffel bag and walks out of his room. He can hear the quiet sound of scraping cutlery against ceramic and he winces. They’d started dinner without him.

As he walks towards the front door, he passes the dining table. When she hears his footsteps, Andrea looks up from her untouched plate of food and stands up. Alex shakes his head silently at her, gripping his bag strap tighter.

His parents don’t even look up. He gives Andrea a half-hearted smile and a wave before walking out the front door. He doesn’t bother taking his keys with him; he knows he won’t need to use them again.

The cold, night air smacks him right in the face as soon as he closes the door behind him. Then, without a second glance, he leaves and begins the short trek to Bobby’s house.

---

“So, I was wondering...”

Willie turns to Alex and smiles at him, squeezing his hand gently. “Yeah?”

They’ve been walking down the pier together in comfortable silence for almost 15 minutes, but the question bubbles up in Alex’s chest before he can control himself.

Alex looks down at their interlaced fingers before gesturing towards the necklace around Willie’s neck. “What’s that key around your neck for?”

At the mention of his necklace, Willie wraps his hand around the key and gives it a light tug with his free hand. If Alex notices how Willie’s slowed their walking pace slightly, he doesn’t say anything.

“It’s my house key,” he says softly. Alex parts his lips in surprise. “When I was a kid, I... I was pretty irresponsible. I was always losing things in random places. My mom used to tell me I’d lose my arms if they weren’t attached to my shoulders.” The smile on his face makes Alex want to cry. “When my folks gave me my first house key, it felt like I was finally growing up. I was so scared I would lose it, so I bought a chain. I’ve worn it around my neck ever since.”

“Even after...” Alex doesn’t continue his train of thought but Willie understands regardless. He nods.

“When I woke up after the accident, it was actually the first thing I reached for,” Willie says quietly, gripping Alex’s hand like a lifeline. “Force of habit, I guess.”

“Have you ever tried to visit your place?” Alex asks quietly, steering Willie towards the edge of the pier so they can sit by the water. Willie nods.

“A couple times. After I died, I didn’t visit for months. It hurt too much.” He pauses, looking out over the water as he scoots closer to Alex until their shoulders are pressed together. “I visited them for the first time a year after I’d died. I couldn’t go in. I was too scared, so I just watched from the windows like a total creeper.” There’s a chuckle in Willie’s voice that astounds Alex. He doesn’t know how he can be so cheerful even while talking about something so heartbreaking. “My family moved sometime around ‘89. I haven’t tried to find them since.”

Alex nods, listening to the sound of the crashing waves and seagulls as they fly overhead. He doesn’t feel pressured to comfort Willie at all. He thinks that telling him his story might’ve upset Alex more than it upset him. Instead, he rubs his knuckles with his thumb slowly, his finger savouring the feel of every dip and crevice.

“What about you?” Willie asks suddenly, turning to Alex. There’s a smile in his eye that Alex never wants to look away from. “Is that gold chain around your neck a remnant from your gangster rap phase, or...?”

Alex laughs brightly, throwing his head back. He can feel Willie laughing too, his shoulders bouncing up and down with every giggle. He stops and breathes out quietly, looking down at his chain and hooking his finger through it.

“Um... there used to be a cross hanging from it,” he says. “My parents got it for me for my confirmation when I was 12. I basically didn’t take it off for five years.”

Willie pauses, shuffles closer; almost as if he can tell what’s coming next. He doesn’t say anything, though, and somehow that makes it easier for Alex to keep going.

“When I came out, my parents um... they weren’t very cool about it,” he says, tugging a little harder on the chain. “My dad kicked me out.” Willie’s grip on his hand tightens and Alex lets out a breath. “When I was leaving, I took the cross off. It didn’t seem right to keep it after...” he clears his throat. “I kept the chain. I’m still not really sure why... I’ve been thinking about it ever since I left home. I think it’s just... a reminder of why I left and what I have now.”

Willie smiles, bumping their shoulders together. “What do you have now?”

He looks at Willie and find that he can’t control the smile that’s growing on his face either. Under the setting sun, Willie looks so beautiful; his tanned skin practically glowing and long dark hair moving with the breeze. He leans in and brushes a gentle kiss against the side of his lips. He feels Willie’s hand come up to cup his cheek and he leans into the touch.

They pull away from each other after a few seconds and Alex smiles again, resting their foreheads together.

“Freedom.”

#alex jatp #willex #willie jatp #julie and the phantoms #jatp fanfic #owen patrick joyner #booboo stewart #writing tag

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zodiyack · 4 years ago

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Changes Nothing

Requested by anon: I saw you write posts with male readers, so I was hoping you’d write this idea: Tommy Shelby’s son being gay??? I’d love to see what you come up with, i fucking love your writing!!!! 😘😘😘

Pairing: Thomas Shelby + Son!Shelby!Reader, Shelby + Gray Family + Nephew!Shelby!Reader

Warnings: Swearing, fluff, ADA BEING THE BEST AS USUAL, mention of homophobia, indications of smut, slight angst, I think that’s it

Words: 1699

Key: 'Cause I’m too lazy to think of a name, B/n = boy’s name or boyfriend’s name

Taglist: @matth1w, @redspaceace, @simonsbluee, @peakysputain, @fandom-puff

Masterlist | Peaky Blinders Masterlist

Y/n Shelby, the son of Thomas Shelby, was a person who kept to himself. It intrigued many residents of Small Heath, but few were lucky to learn why. His family didn’t even know, but they were to find out soon enough, one way or another.

He was handsome, smart, kind, practically had all of the young women wrapped around his finger. Only eighteen but brave enough to take on the world himself. It was a wonder to almost everyone how the Y/n Shelby had yet to find himself a woman.

The truth was, Y/n had an attraction to people the same sex as himself. And male on male relationships weren’t something a lot of people accepted, so Y/n kept his secret with his social life; if he didn’t talk to a whole lot of people, he didn’t have many people to tell.

Of course, it couldn’t have been that easy. He knew that. His whole family taught him that. When something seems to easy, there’s bound to be a price for it’s doing.

Steal a car with no distraction or extra people required? Someone’ll find out soon. That or, you’ll crash or something. Why? Because there is always, always, a price.

No price had shown up so far, and it was making Y/n nervous, anxious even. Y/n had a lover now, for months, and they were doing alright. No one found out, no one hurt them, it was completely fine. But they’d both be lying if they said neither of them was worried.

They hadn’t even came out to their families! Y/n was the one with the most to lost in this situation, the most to be scared about. What if-

“Y/n?” Tommy snapped his son out of his trance-like-state. “I’ll be going somewhere with your uncles. Here’s some money,” he dropped said money into his hand, “ask Pol if you need anything. I’ll call you when I get to where I need to be, alright?”

“Yes sir, I understand.” Y/n smiled at his father, gripping the money tightly. He walked over and gave him a hug, “Bye, dad.”

“Goodbye, son. I’ll call you, so be ready!” Tom was running out the door, yelling to his oldest child as he approached the car. The two waved to each other until the car took off.

Right after the vehicle was out of sight, Y/n raced to the phone, dialing the one number he’d been waiting all week to call. “Y/n?” The voice of his beloved came through.

“B/n! Is he gone?”

“Yes, he’ll be gone for a while. Can you come over?” They talked for a few minutes, speeding through their conversation with excitement. He was eager to have his lover over after not being able to for so long. It was almost a full two months since they’d been together, the lack of intimacy being no exception.

So there they were, together after a small, quick, phone-call. In bed, lying with limbs tangled together, sweat slick on their bodies, a vulnerable moment for the two. A vulnerable sight to walk in on. And unfortunately, that’s just what happened.

Polly was just checking on Y/n, as he didn’t answer the phone like he’d promised. Tommy called her with worry, begging her to make sure his boy was okay. She argued, “he’s an adult now,” but he continued begging and begging, just needing to know his son was okay.

Opening the door to Y/n’s room, Polly released a gasp, widening her eyes upon the sight she had been greeted with. The two were covered, thankfully, but still found in the same bed, very obviously naked.

“P-Pol it’s not what it- um... it’s not what it looks-”

“I think it is what it looks like, Y/n. And I think your guest should leave so you can explain to your father that this is why you missed his call when he returns.” Her eyes were still wider than Y/n had ever seen them and her breathing was off due to the unintentional scare.

Y/n clasped his hands over his face. “Fuck...” He’d forgotten about the call.

“S-sorry.” B/n kept his head down as he slid his trousers on, grabbing the rest of his clothes when he got off the bed, and ran past Polly to get to the front door.

“Pol-”

“No. Don’t ‘Pol’ me right now. This is... you have no idea how.. how... how frightened your father was when you didn’t pick up! He demanded I come to check on you and this is what I see!”

“Are you ashamed?”

Polly blinked. “What?”

“Are you ashamed of me? Your great-nephew being a homosexual?”

“I-” She inhaled sharply, “I’m more disappointed in the fact that you didn’t trust us enough to let us know. Aside from that, I can’t think right now. Meet us in the family room when Tom arrives.” Polly closed the door behind herself, walking down to the same room she spoke of.

Y/n sighed, his head hitting the bed behind him with a soft ‘thud’. How was he going to explain this to his father?

“So, Pol says you have something to tell us.” Tommy sat down, confused due to his lack of information on the matter.

“I um...”

Polly, from the seat next to Y/n, rested her hand over Y/n’s. “You don’t have to tell them about that quite yet. Do that on your own time. For now, just explain the reason why you missed the call however you please, alright?” She whispered into his ear, expressing her change of heart since the last few hours.

“No...I have to.” He smiled at his great-aunt. “The secret’s out anyways.”

“What secret are you talking about, Y/n?” Thomas furrowed his eyebrows, laced with uncertainty.

“Well...I missed your call because I had someone over-”

“Your boy’s finally done it!” Arthur cheered, raising his drink with John, the two chaotically drunk as always. “See, Tom, told you it couldn’t’ve been bad!”

Thomas studied his son, the hesitation still present on his expression. “No. Let him finish.”

“But- he just-”

“Arthur. Tommy’s right, there’s something else, I can see it too.” Ada rested her hand on her nephew’s shoulder. The look in her eyes was heartbreaking, causing Y/n’s heart to speed up faster than it already was. He couldn’t cope if he’d hurt his family, let alone his sweet aunt, the most supportive of the bunch.

“I...It wasn’t with a girl.” He waited, allowing the sentence to be processed by each person. “It was with a-”

“Another male.” Tommy looked at the ground.

“Shit...” Arthur and John stopped celebrating, sobering almost immediately if it were possible.

The three remained quiet. Silence created the worst tension Y/n had ever felt, and he had a feeling it wouldn’t be the last. Until Ada interrupted, cutting it with words like scissors.

“Could you three just get over yourselves already! Y/n has just told us something that he obviously has had a lot of trouble telling another person! Something he trusts us with, and all you do is be quiet?” She scoffed at her brothers, standing up and walking to her nephew. “Come, love.”

Sitting on his bed, Y/n told his aunt about his boyfriend. The stuff he loved about him, what he was like, how much he loved him. Ada felt special, for the first time, over joyed with how close she’d gotten to her nephew in just a few minutes.

“Ada?”

“Yes, Y/n?”

He kept his head down, similar to his father’s in the family room. “Do you think my dad hates me?”

“No... I think it’s just taking him time to process... you know? A bit hard for him to process in a couple minutes. You’re his son, someone he loves more than anything in the world, and to learn something that big... he loves you, okay?” Y/n looked at Ada, the tears starting to stream down her cheeks creating an ache in his heart.

He didn’t respond. Instead, he pulled his aunt in for a hug. When they pulled away, he thought for a second, “Do you, support me, aunt Ada? Even if my dad doesn’t?”

“Do I support you? I had a gay roommate, Y/n! ...Of course I... Your father and that man, they worked together at one point. He didn’t care that he liked men. So that’s why I have complete faith that Tom will come around. I promise, we all love you, so so much.”

“She’s not wrong.” Y/n and Ada’s heads turned towards the door. Tommy walked in, hand in his pockets and a small smile on his lips.

“How long have you been-”

“Long enough. Ada, can I please I have a moment with my son?”

She nodded, hugging Y/n one more time before standing to leave. As she walked past Thomas, she leaned next to him to whisper before she left the room completely. “If you hurt him in any way, I will not hesitate to invite him to live with me, nor will I think twice about ruining your fucking life, Tom.”

“Y/n... I admit, it’s hard to process, but your aunt is right. Yes, you’re attracted to males, sexually and romantically, and yes, it’s is a hard thing for me to think about-”

Y/n rolled his eyes, thinking it was going to be the same old “subtly-homophobic” talk parents these days gave their gay children, but Tommy caught on quickly, “but that changes nothing. Nothing in this world could make me hate you or stop loving you. You are my son. You like men? So be it. Invite him to a family dinner next week if you’d like-”

“Wait really?”

“Do I look like I’m kidding?”

Y/n studied his father, smiling and hugging him tightly. Tommy’s smile returned, his arms mirroring his son’s movements and pulling his son into him.

The door creaked open, the two drunken uncles ready to say the same when they, and Polly, saw the father-son moment. The hug bringing a smile to Pol’s face as it did to Tommy and Y/n’s. She hushed her nephews as she shooed them from the room and closed the door, listening as the words left Tommy’s mouth again and again.

“This changes nothing.”

Supportive Ada comes back to defend the gays again! I love her so fucking much oh my god- anyways! How do you guys feel about a series? I know it may sound funny at first, but think about it; Ada being the cool aunt she is with her gay nephew?

Feel free to send ideas! And speaking of sending ideas- feel free to send some requests for Elizabeth!

Also like- listen- if Ada isn’t a lesbian, bi or pan, curious, or any part of the LGBTQ+ community, she’s an ally. Like, it’s the truth- and it’s cannon

✘ Bowie

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bigskydreaming · 4 years ago

Text

I don’t often muse upon PJO, but when I do, its random as hell.

Anyway, tonight’s thought (singular, also: derogatory, as in very possibly a mistake) is about exploring aspects of the Greek gods that are extrapolations of like, what they’d be like in the modern world instead of just in terms of their ancient myths.....and how that might widen the scope of their demigod children and their powers.

Like take Hephaestus for instance. God of the forge and fire, of invention and artifice......now widen the scope on those things through the lens of the modern age.....might he also be considered the god of modern science, not just in terms of things like engineering and technology, but also physics, chemistry? Or would those things fall more under Athena’s purview......unless you separated them into finer divisions. Like, you could consider Athena’s overview of knowledge and wisdom to make her the goddess of science and higher learning or whatever in general........OR you could separate it like.....Hephaestus is the god of natural or physical sciences like physics and chemistry, and Athena is the goddess of not just wisdom and tactics but things like psychology, computer sciences, etc.

Or OR get Dionysus up in there too, and make it like Hephaestus is the god of chemistry, of chemical reactions and the like, Athena is the goddess of physics, of the most full and complete understanding of the physical universe via things like the unified field theory and its comprising forces of electromagnetism, strong and weak nuclear force, etc, and then Dionysus the god of biology, hmmmm.....

Cuz imagine then, demigod children of Hephaestus, where instead of pyrokinesis, some get powers like transmuting elements.......oh man, the things you could do with that??? Not just lead into gold but they’d be terrors in battle because they could transmute the very air someone breathes into chlorine gas, blood into acid, flesh into stone. Or using that power defensively, making them able to keep guns from firing by dampening the chemical reaction that comes from igniting gunpowder, or just knocking someone out or putting them to sleep by just tanking their metabolic reactions. Mingling magic with modern know-how and creating their own version of truth serums by turning the water someone drinks into something akin to sodium pentathol when just brushing their fingers against someone’s glass, or rendering all drugs or toxins that might have been slipped into their drink null and void by transmuting them into harmless H20.

(I know that Luke was mentioned briefly as being good at making potions aka alchemy due to being a son of Hermes, but frankly, transmutation as a mastery of the periodic table makes waaaaay more sense for Hephaestus’ kids, I’m just saying. And plus the Greeks didn’t so much consider Hermes an actual god of alchemy as they more just kinda viewed him as their god of all things miscellaneous and tended to lump anything they didn’t have particularly strong feelings about and/or a grasp of under his umbrella. Hermes was really just the patron god of being random as fuck and oh great gods of Olympus I have no idea what I want to do with my life, give me a sign. Hermes: poofs into existence on their shoulder and says SOUNDS LIKE YOU NEED TO GO BE GAY AND DO CRIME YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST, DIVINE MANDATE, LETS GOOOOOOO).

Give children of Athena more practical applications for being heirs to her wisdom, knowledge and strategic acumen by also giving her dominion in the modern age over humanity’s quest to better understand the universe we live in and all its rules, the ins and outs of the laws that govern reality itself.......thus Annabeth and others’ potential acumen for magic being here not the end result of them stepping on Hecate and her kids’ toes, but rather more a function of making them the embodiment of ‘magic is just sufficiently advanced technology’ as they - via an innate and heightened understanding of the very nature of the physical universe - find holes in the fabric of space and time that let them slip from Point A to Point B as easily as crossing the street, play tricks with gravity and relativity and things that leave others baffled and amazed and them just shrugging and being like its all in the wrist, dude, and also, the fact that our mom just GETS reality in a way that everyone else will still be playing catch-up to a thousand years from now.

Children of Dionysus (yes I know he barely has any shhh we’re not paying attention to the series we’re just musing on demigod powers here) who combine the godhood of grapes and revelry with loud music and laughter......the way music can help with plant growth, because music is essentially just VIBRATIONS and vibrations stimulate activity in plant cells in a variety of ways.....and thus similar to Mr. D’s tricks with controlling vines and rapidly growing plants, AND his ability to affect the psyches of others, which is described as inflicting or curing madness and I’m like ehhhh do we have to describe it thus though.....put all that in a pot, shake it, not stir, and abrakadabra, alakazam, other psychic pokemon random Psyduck shout-out and voila! ALL of that could be afixed to and made the end product of godly and demigodly control and manipulation of vibrations, cuz Dionysus is literally the god of just vibing in all its infinite forms.....and thus its all just about how vibrations affect plant life on a cellular level, how they can affect brain chemistry in a variety of ways, triggering a lot of the more primal centers/functions of the brain, etc. You kids are driving me crazy, he’d yell at his demigod kids, and they’re like umm wow, like ACK CHOO UGHLY, father, welcome to the 21st century, all we’re really doing is directly stimulating the prefrontal cortex of your cerebellum with our banging rock music, and its making you angy, what about it?

And speaking of actually, if we and by we I mean me cuz I am and its wheee, are theorizing about Athena’s brood getting to be all magical wunderkind whizkids with their scientific acumen and divine cheat-sheets for the physical universe, maybe Aphrodite and her kids could snatch up those psychology and psychiatry job titles instead. Love, desire, also things like obsession, hyper-fixation......is Cabin Mighty Aphrodite really just pheromone central or are its campers more like magical dopamine and serotonin factories just pumping out good vibes all around them, being like come hang out, its free brain juice. Like, imagine kids of Aphrodite who just by their mere presence could help the legions of ADHD demigods focus better, concentrate easier, get shit done because the goddess of passion and her children like....have the gift of helping people to more productively pursue their passions in ALL forms, not just the physical desires they hold for others but the passions they hold for arts and crafts and sports and y’know, saving the world on magical coming-of-age quests when their milkshakes bring all the monsters to the yard.

And then Ares not just as a god of war and conflict, but of entropy....the tendency of the universe to trend towards disorder, randomness, uncertainty....the kind of things that so often incite or enflame conflict......but applied at large not just to interpersonal dynamics but to the world itself. With his children possessing demigod abilities that disrupt or weaken bonds, both in the form of emotional ties between allies and commitments towards various ideals or courses of action, but also the ability to PHYSICALLY weaken bonds, resulting in an enemy’s weapon falling apart at a touch, or increasing the instability or volatility of an object so it blows up akin to how Gambit of the X-Men’s powers work and can turn even playing cards into a weapon, etc, etc.

And don’t even get me started on Hermes! No, seriously, don’t. Mostly because I haven’t thought that one through yet and I got nothing. I mean I got some things but they are nebulous and have yet to spring forth fully formed from my head like Athena from the fuckhead of Zeus, that absolute fuckhead of legend and yore. In my defense though, I haven’t like, eaten any primordial goddesses of thought and memory, so.......like, idk, I’m taking the longer route here I guess.

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ashes-and-ashes · 5 years ago

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The sight of Draco crossed-legged on the bed, wearing sweatpants and an oversized Slytherin Quidditch Jersey was so unexpectedly domestic that Harry almost choked on air. He has to remind himself to breathe, rapidly tries to regain his lost dignity as he crosses the room, flings himself onto the bed with a sigh.

“Oh,” he groans, the bed like heaven on his sore body. “I am so, so gay.”

Draco peers down at him. He’s holding a series of letters in his hand, the edges slightly worn and faded from what looked like water damage. “What made you come to this sudden and stunning realization?”

You, Harry wants to say but that would be horribly and awfully cheesy. He settles for a muttered “Blaise” and burries his head amongst the piles of cushions propped up against the headboard.

Draco lets out a long laugh. “I mean. Blaise is everyone’s sexual awakening.”

Harry grumbles something in reply. He’s too sore from Quidditch practice to move and the bed is deliciously soft, the heat from Draco’s body making the sheets toasty and warm. “I’m not moving.”

Even though he can’t see it, Harry can almost feel the soft smile Draco gives him. He shivers slightly as Draco slowly runs his fingers down his back, tracing his shoulder blades, dipping down to his collarbone and back around to his spine. “Stop it,” he says sleepily. “‘M too tired to bang.”

“What a shame,” Draco says in mock horror. “I’ll have to find someone else then.”

“Go to Blaise.”

“Already have.”

Harry is far too tired to think of a proper comeback. He nestled deeper into the sheets, lets out a long sigh of contentment. The bed smells like them both - the soft detergent Harry always used and the shampoo from Draco’s hair. The flat was a beautiful mixture of them both - shades of emerald green and stunning gold, huge windows and soft rugs, sleek sofas and comfy armchairs.

The day Draco bought the flat, they’d both cried. 2 boys fresh out of 8th year, living together in a desperate attempt to escape the nightmares and now 1 year later Harry knew it was the best choice he had ever made. It was theirs - their home, their life and no one, not even Voldemort could take that away from them.

Draco’s fingers are still in his hair, impossibly soft against his scalp. Harry closes his eyes.

“So. Who are those letters from?”

He feels Draco stiffen up beside him. The motion makes him frown; Harry pushes himself up onto his knees, so he could look Draco in the eye.

“Are you alright?”

Draco shurgs. “Yes. No. I don’t know.”

Harry nods slowly. He can’t see much of the letter - just blank paper and a worn envelope. Draco has two of them in his hand, the writing different on both envelopes. “Who’s it from?”

Despite everything, Draco’s voice is still remarkably steady as he replies, “My parents.”

Harry swallows, hard. “Oh,” he says. “They sent you letters?”

“Both of them.”

“How - “

“I wish,” Draco says casually, “That I could do something for my mother. That I could get her out somehow, reduce her sentence.”

“And your father?”

Draco’s face darkens. “My father can rot for all I care.”

“He still sent you something.”

Draco doesn’t reply, just flings the letter at Harry. He takes it with shaking fingers, the printer paper a pale white compared to the darkness of the ink:

Draco,

I’m only writing this because there is nothing better for me to do in here. Don’t ever forget it. You’re the one who did this.

You’ve always been a fool. Rest assured, Draco. When I get out, everything - your money, your inheritance, your name - will no longer be yours to use.

Harry lets out a long breath. “Fuck,” he says. “What a bastard.”

Draco laughs, the sound hollow. “It’s fine. I’ve already withdrawn enough funds that we’ll be okay. My father is an asshole. I just wish...”

Harry laces his hand through Draco’s, traces his thumb over the knuckles. “Yeah?”

“I don’t know why I care so much. Why it hurts.”

He didn’t know what bothered him more - Lucius’ letter or the utter defeat in Draco’s voice. Harry swallows, hard, grips Draco’s hand so tightly that it stung.

Sometimes, Harry found himself taken aback by Draco’s beauty, the fragility and the strength, the masks that only cane crumbling down when they were alone. He was like a temple, one of those Ancient Greek ones, all marble and gold and sand, stretching out into the sky, falling apart but trying so hard not to.

“They’re your parents, Draco,” he whispers. “They raised you. You’re allowed to miss them.”

Draco shakes his head. “They don’t deserve it. My father doesn’t, at least. He doesn’t deserve my pity.”

Harry closes his eyes, tries to imagine hating his parents like that, with a burning intensity of a thousand flames. He can’t though, can’t conjure up anything besides screaming and pain and flashes of green. “I’m sorry,” he says. “I don’t know what to say.”

Something flashes in Draco’s eyes. He leans back, setting the letters aside on the table, eyes fixed on Harry’s. “Don’t apologize,” he whispers. “Fuck them. I don’t care about what they think anymore. I have a new family.”

Harry closes his eyes when he feels Draco’s lips on his.

#drarry #drarry angst #drarry fanfic #draco malfoy #harry potter #draco malfoy fanfic #harry potter fanfic #draco malfoy angst #harry potter angst #tw: abuse

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lady-divine-writes · 4 years ago

Text

Kurtbastian one-shot - “Confrontation” (Rated PG13)

Summary: Things get heated at Blaine's first post-quarantine competition when his father and his old coach make a surprise visit. (2397 words)

Notes: Warning for homophobia. Blaine friendly.

Part 68 of Outside Edge.

Read on AO3.

"This is not happening... this is not happening... " Blaine mumbles, pacing back and forth, arms wrapped tight around his torso but carefully so as not to dislodge any of the hundreds of crystals Kurt had applied by hand to this new costume he'd made especially for him.

A costume so intricate and lovingly crafted that Sebastian turns green every time he's in its presence (even though Kurt has made him close to a dozen of his own).

"It's going to be all right," Kurt says, trying his best to calm Blaine down. He reaches out a hand to stop him but decides against it. He understands the pain of suffering from this level of anxiety. Standing still when you're about to rip out of your skin can be the worst feeling in the world.

"I'm not doing this... " Blaine decides, tapping his right fist against his left elbow. "I'm not---I'm not doing this... "

"Too late, champ," Sebastian teases, tucking his button-up into his slacks and joining the freak-out already in process. "You've already skated. No backing out now."

"No jokes!" Kurt hisses. "That's not what this is about!"

"Then what is it?" Sebastian asks, growing concerned when Blaine starts to curl in on himself. Sebastian steps in front of him, feeling a need to shield him from prying eyes wandering by. "I was in the can for all of three minutes. What in the hell happened?"

Kurt leans into Sebastian's side and whispers, "His father's here. And his old coach."

"What the fuck?" Sebastian turns in a circle, half looking for the men in question (even though he's never seen either, so he has no idea who he's looking for), but also searching for a place they can hide, get Blaine out of the public eye. "What the hell are they doing here?"

"I... I don't know. I don't know how they even knew I'd be here," Blaine replies.

"They'd had to have Googled you," Sebastian says, eyes darting back and forth over the crowd.

"Why would they do that? My dad said he never wanted to see me again! So what's the point?"

"I don't know," Sebastian admits. Would it be too much to ask that it's because the man actually cares about Blaine? Sebastian doesn't know a thing about him other than he punched his son and threw him out onto the street, so he can't answer that question, but from the outset, most signs point to no.

Sebastian hopes the man proves him wrong.

He isn't one for seeing the good in people. He'd rather believe that most are self-serving assholes, that way he's not disappointed when he's right. But this is Blaine's dad. And regardless of Sebastian feeling a bit jealous of his relationship with Kurt, Sebastian secretly prays that one day Blaine and his dad can make amends.

Sebastian spots a line of locker rooms, the doors painted to blend with the walls. They're about the size of the average closet, but hunkering down in a cramped room is better than waiting around for the inevitable. "Come on, guys. We can duck in there."

Kurt takes Blaine by the elbow as Sebastian leads the way, barking out a frustrated, "Excuse us. Excuse us," to the skaters yet to perform, who have opted to do their off-ice warm-ups smack dab in everyone else's way. Sebastian frowns when he remembers that used to be him once upon a time - constantly showing off, always in other people's space. His coach had told him it was an effective intimidation technique.

It's not.

It's just annoying.

Blaine sighs as they reach the blue metal door, relief in sight.

It turns out to be premature.

"Still under rotating those triples, I see."

Blaine sighs again, but this time it's a sound of utter defeat, and something inside Kurt snaps. He whirls around, putting himself between Blaine and whoever might be behind them, saying, "Don't you have anything nice to say?" before he comes face to face with two older men trying way too hard to appear important in their expensively tailored wool suits, out-of-place with everyone else around them bundled up in jeans, sweaters, and puff jackets. They can't even wear simple cloth masks, opting for those overpriced dome things constructed of 'space-age materials', clear so people can see the entirety of the wearer's face.

From the corner of his eye, Kurt sees Blaine turn slowly, as if he would rather be anywhere but here, which sucks because Blaine had an amazing skate! A skate Nathan Chen would have been proud of! But that's about to be ruined by the presence of these two a-holes!

"Nice about what?" the same man retorts, and even though that sounds like the sort of remark one would expect a coach to make, Kurt just knows that this man - with the same dark hair as Blaine's, glued to his scalp with a tremendous amount of product, sucking in his lower lip as he grins - has to be his dad. "His lackluster choreography? His offensive song choice? This fruity costume? Or those skates?" He pops his lower lip in disgust as he gestures down to the black Edea skates Kurt customized with rainbow crystals. "Jesus, Blaine! Why don't you carry one of those rainbow flags out on the ice with you! Or tattoo one to your face! That way everyone knows!"

"Most people already do!" Blaine argues, surprising his friends. But it delights Sebastian more. Despite his 'dapper charm' that he lays on thick as oatmeal, Sebastian suspected Blaine couldn't be as meek as he seemed around him and Kurt. Looks like he was right. "And guess what? No one seems to have a problem with it! And if they do, they have the courtesy to keep it to themselves!"

"That's because you're a figure skater. You're surrounded by gays, aren't you?" he snarks, shooting a pointed glance at Kurt. Blaine's old coach (Simon, if Kurt remembers correctly - supposedly a huge deal though Kurt has never heard of him), who has yet to say anything, has the dignity to look embarrassed by Mr. Anderson over that remark.

"Has he always been this much of an ass?" Sebastian seethes. "Or is he doing this for our benefit?

Blaine's first instinct is to defend him, even after everything the man has done. He is his father after all. But he stops himself, gives Sebastian's question a solid think.

And his answer is yes.

Yes, he has.

He's always been an ass. To him and, to a lesser extent, his mother. Nothing has ever been good enough for him. Gold medals, sponsorships, scholarships, endorsements - not a single thing that has come from Blaine's skating has his father ever been proud of.

"What you see is what you get," Blaine says diplomatically. Mr. Anderson's thin-lipped grin drops like a lead weight, and Kurt snickers.

"Your edges have improved," Simon puts in haughtily. "Don't know how that happened."

"It's called practice," Kurt says, "dedication... and the perks of finding a better, more supportive coaching team."

Simon's eyes travel from Kurt's face to a smug Sebastian, and the man rolls his eyes. "I'll bet."

"So, is this what you gave your family up for?" Mr. Anderson asks, waving a hand towards Kurt so vehemently he nearly smacks him. "Or are you still waiting in the wings?"

Blaine's cheeks burn, speechless that his father held on to those words he overheard and is now throwing them in his face, especially since he never told Kurt about the phone call that got him kicked out. Not entirely. And as far as he knew, Sebastian hasn't either, confirmed by the confusion on Kurt's face.

"You're talking to your son," Sebastian growls. "You haven't seen him in over a year, haven't talked to him during a global pandemic even once to find out whether or not he's okay. He just won his second gold medal of the night. But you're stomping over here like you have every right, and all you care about is his sex life?"

Mr. Anderson raises a stern finger. "This doesn't concern you."

"Yes, it does! Because after you pulled your little homophobic stunt and blackened his eye, he started living with me. In my house." Sebastian stops himself from clarifying further when he notices they're attracting attention. He didn't mean to out Blaine's abuse. Sebastian had no right to let that slip. But with the tunnel of red obscuring his vision, he'd started to forget there's anyone else around. He's got to apologize but now isn't the time. "He owes me nothing. Happy to have him. But you? You owe me plenty."

"What?" Mr. Anderson scoffs. "Do you want me to write you a check?"

"No. But a little gratitude, knowing that your son was in good hands this entire time, might be nice."

Mr. Anderson laughs through his nose. It's as unattractive as it sounds. "Never happening. I offered to take him back. He felt he knew better. If Blaine chooses to live in a den of sin, that's his business."

Sebastian shakes his head in disbelief. Blaine's father isn't talking about pre-marital sex. Hell, if Blaine was kicking it with some busty blonde cheerleader this whole time, his dad would probably be ecstatic.

He's referring to the fact that the three of them are gay.

Some people.

Well, if he wants to be an epic jackhole, fine. Two can play at that game.

"You know, since you're so concerned with who your son is being intimate with, since that matters so much to you, it might interest you to know that he's not just screwing Kurt here. He's fucking me as well." Sebastian pauses, lets those words sink in, and soaks in the delicious fallout. He doesn't know whose reaction he likes better - the men in front of him scowling like he farted in their masks, or the boys standing beside him, staring at him wide-eyed and growing pale. "Oh yeah," Sebastian continues, fueled by the conflicted awe in Kurt's eyes specifically. "The three-ways are plentiful, in every position."

"You... you little liar!"

Sebastian shrugs. "I mean, that's what it's all about, right? What do you think's been going on at my house while he's been living there? He's gotta pay the rent somehow."

"You're disgusting!" Mr. Anderson sneers.

"You're one to talk - a middle-aged man whose only concern about his son's welfare is where he sticks his dick! Give this a lot of thought, do ya? Talk about it over dinner and shit?"

Mr. Anderson takes a step forward. Blaine and Kurt take a reflexive step back - social distancing and all. But Sebastian doesn't budge. "You listen here, you... !"

"Is there a problem?" a man dressed in a red, white, and blue windbreaker emblazoned with the name of the rink they're in, asks. They'd been so engrossed in this pissing contest, no one noticed the man cut through the crowd to reach them. Mr. Anderson steps back, aggressively straightening his jacket. Kurt thinks he hears a seam pop, and he flinches on behalf of a thousand-dollar sports coat.

"No," Mr. Anderson answers quickly, annoyed by the interruption. "No problem."

Seeing a way to put an easy end to this, Sebastian speaks up. "Actually, there is. These men aren't coaches or skaters. And they're harassing us. So could you please... ?"

Mr. Anderson chuckles. "Right. Good luck with that. I have no intention of going anywhere."

The attendant shakes his head. "I'm sorry but... " He turns to Mr. Anderson "... I'm going to have to ask you gentlemen to leave. We need to keep this area clear."

Mr. Anderson's eyelids narrow to slits. "What?"

"We have a capacity limit." The man points to a sign posted nearby. Neither Mr. Anderson nor Simon looks. "Skaters and coaches only. Everyone else has to go back to the bleachers."

"Are you kidding me!?"

"Unless you have a pass... "

Mr. Anderson looks at the three boys. They lift laminated tags attached to lanyards hanging around their necks. Blaine's says 'Skater' in neon green letters, Kurt's says 'Assistant Coach' in bright orange, and Sebastian's says 'Coach' in yellow. Mr. Anderson and Simon have no such lanyards.

Technically, they don't even have tickets to the event.

Simon used the clout he has left to get them this far.

"I'll have to call security if you don't leave," the man interjects, reaching for his walkie.

Mr. Anderson sniffs, tries to retain his composure, but he's not a man used to taking no for an answer.

Or being bested by teenagers.

"I'll be seeing you boys again," he says low, like a threat.

"Absolutely!" Sebastian says. "Stop by Westerville Ice-plex anytime so my uncle can serve you that restraining order Blaine should have filed the first time around!"

Mr. Anderson doesn't look the least bit amused when rink staff leads him away, glaring venomously at them over his shoulder as he's escorted to the double doors. The three watch, waiting till he's completely out of sight before they breathe easy again.

"That was fun," Blaine says brightly, trying to make light of this newly tense situation.

"Loads," Kurt agrees.

"I'm so sorry about that. He had no right to talk to you guys like that. Especially you, Kurt."

Kurt smiles. It gets lost behind his faux Chanel mask, but luckily it reaches his eyes. "You don't need to apologize."

"Look, Blaine," Sebastian starts, "I'm really sorry for bringing up... "

"Don't worry about it," Blaine cuts in. He'd happily forgotten about that. He wants to drop it. "It shouldn't be a secret. That's how people like him get away with doing what he did."

"Still, it was kind of shitty."

"Yeah, but that wasn't your fault."

Sebastian puts a hand on Blaine's shoulder and gives it a squeeze. It's the closest thing to a hug he can offer.

"Come on." Kurt puts his hand over Sebastian's. "Let's go get Blaine's medals and head home, hmm?"

"Sounds like a plan." Blaine turns to Sebastian, disarming mischief in his hazel eyes. "So... about that three-way... "

"You mean you, leftie, and rightie?" Sebastian winds a possessive arm around his boyfriend and ushers him quickly through the crowd towards the medal stand. "Be sure to tell us all about it in the morning."

#Kurtbastian #sebkurt #sekurt #sebastian smythe #kurt hummel #figure skating #blaine anderson

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imaginejamesandsirius · 4 years ago

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Can you please write a fic where James is a rich,star footballer and Sirius comes in to work as his super hott personal bodyguard??? And then James starts crushing on him hard but Sirius is hesitant because he could lose his job over this!!!! Please please please write this... I am a biiiig fan of your work... God Bless❤️

"What? I don't need a bodyguard," James said. The very idea was preposterous.

Coach glared at him, but the rest of the team was slightly more reserved in staring him down. The whole administrative team was there, from the head coach to the team's PR representative. "There have been threats."

"So? I also got threatened when I was seventeen and nothing ever came of it."

The team manager jumped in then. "This isn't a schoolyard threat made because you stole someone's girlfriend. Or- whatever," he said, fumbling a little-- as he always did-- when he said something thoughtless and remembered that James was gay afterwards. That being said, James definitely had stolen some girlfriends at school because it was the best approximation he could get for what attraction to women was. "These are extremely conservative people who want you dead and aren't shy about showing they're serious," the team manager continued. "Even if they don't manage to kill you, they could permanently injure you, effectively ending your career. Is that what you want?"

James huffed, knowing that he was being a little petulant and not caring. "No," he admitted. If he'd been just talking to his mates, he never would've admitted it, but they'd all gotten together to sit him down and make sure he listened to them; they wouldn't have bothered if they weren't seriously concerned.

"Then get a goddamn bodyguard," Coach said. "It won't be forever-- just until these people realise they have better things to do with their time than harass a popular footballer."

"Fine." If James had known it would be this much trouble to come out, he wouldn't have done it. He'd just been thinking that he might like to date someone for real. He'd also thought about himself when he was younger and how he could've figured out that he fancied men before he was twenty sodding three if one of his favourite footie players had been gay (and out. He wasn't discounting the idea entirely just because they hadn't said anything.). "I don't know where to find one though."

"We've got a list of possibilities," someone else said, handing James a sheet of paper-- for the life of him, James couldn't remember what she did, but in his defense, he'd only met her once as an introduction and then seen her in passing at the past six years of holiday parties. On the paper was a list of agencies, their websites, and phone numbers to contact them. There wasn't any mention of price, but it's not like James was pressed for cash or anything. Hell, he'd already reached his lifetime savings amount and didn't really know what to do with the salary he was still getting. Might as well use some of it to stay safe and pacify his bosses.

James had weighed all his options and looked at all of the information he'd been given, and he still couldn't decide. He'd handed the list to Remus, and he'd picked one at random; James took his choice as a good decision and called the company up. They made everything so easy for him that he was beginning to think Remus had special choosing powers. From now on, James was going to run his decisions by Remus before doing anything.

And then he actually met his bodyguard. He couldn't decide if this was better than before, or worse. Either way, he didn't think asking Remus for advice would really be the way that he wanted for his life to go.

He was told that his bodyguard's name was Sirius, and they had a first meeting at the company to sort out a few details. If James was a smart person, he would've taken one look at Sirius and said, "Thanks but no thanks, can I get someone else?" But James wasn't smart. He was a dumbarse. A dumbarse that let his heart make decisions for him. Sirius was, in a word, gorgeous. He had a face that looked like it belonged on the cover of a magazine, and a smile that stopped James's breath in its tracks. He was sure that Sirius was good at his job, but James rather doubted his decision to accept him as a bodyguard. He wasn't going to be able to focus for shite.

James explained the situation to Sirius-- the boring stuff, about why he needed a bodyguard-- and he didn't blink at him being bent. Either he already knew that because he followed football, he didn't care, or he cared but was a very good actor. James imagined that there was a certain amount of acting as a bodyguard, but he'd also like to think that Sirius wouldn't have accepted if it bothered him.

James had been afraid that Sirius was going to walk slightly to the side and behind him and stay resolutely silent the whole time, but he carried a conversation alright as they walked to James's car. "I'm sure you get this all the time and you're annoyed with it, but why's your name Sirius?"

The look on Sirius's face showed that he was very much used to the question, even though he didn't look annoyed by it. "Named after the star in Canis Major. Being named after stars is sort of a family thing."

"Really?" James asked. He was instantly charmed. Sirius hadn't even put much effort into it, but James was head over heels after exchanging two words with him.

"Mmhmm. My brother's Regulus, my father and great-grandfather were both Orion, and I've got a cousin named Bellatrix."

"Wow. Your family must've been made fun of a lot when they were kids."

Sirius snorted, and James looked at him curiously.

"What?"

"I wouldn't call any of us... well-behaved children. Got in a lot of fights."

"Ah, and it led to you being a bodyguard?"

Sirius shrugged with an easygoing smirk. "Might as well do something you're good at, right?"

"It's total rubbish that they're putting McLaggen in before you," Sirius said one day after practice.

"Right?" Then he paused. Sirius hadn't been around long enough to be so certain of that. Which meant, "I knew you were a fan. Why didn't you say anything?"

"I didn't want to freak you out. You're dealing with enough right now that I didn't want for you to worry about your bodyguard fawning over you."

"Aww, you fawn over me?" James asked, unable to help a pleased smile.

"It's called knowing who the best is," Sirius said with a wink.

"You don't get along with your brother?" James asked. Personally, he didn't have any siblings, but from what he understood, those relationships were often complicated. Lily, for example, cared about her sister even though-- as far as James could tell-- she was kind of an irredeemable twat that didn't seem to like Lily at all.

Sirius shrugged. "He wants to like our parents, but now that he disagrees with them on everything, it's not easy. I keep telling him that his life would be easier if he stopped talking to them, but he feels all guilty about it." He rolled his eyes expressively. "I think he thinks that he owes them for them not being worse."

"You both should get new parents," James said. "I volunteer my own."

"I think you stop needing new parents when you're an adult."

"Words that can only be spoken by someone with shite parents. Maybe you don't need parents anymore, but if Regulus is still trying to connect with them, it means he needs someone. My parents are great. Mum will probably see him smile once and then demand he come to Saturday night dinners for the next ten years."

Sirius snickered.

"Oh, I'm not joking," James insisted. "Lily and I haven't been together since we were eighteen, and she still comes over for dinner when she can make it."

"Only you would be on such great terms with your ex that your parents would do that."

"Bold of you to assume my parents wouldn't have done it whether we were on good terms or not. They blood adore her, and that didn't stop because we weren't dating anymore. I swear, they love every single friend I let them meet. If I introduced them to your brother? He wouldn't make it out of that house without them knowing his favourite dessert. He wouldn't stand a chance."

"Maybe that's what he needs," Sirius said, sounding amused. "We'll have to set that up when this all blows over."

James's first problem with Sirius had been that he was so gorgeous James couldn't think for shite. His second problem with Sirius was that he was an attractive person all around, not just in his face. Honestly, who had decided that someone should get to be that pretty and also be that funny? It wasn't fair to the rest of humanity.

He'd never been shy, so he told Sirius that he fancied him shortly after figuring it out. Thinking a bloke was fit as hell was one thing. Actually fancying him was quite another. People were fit all the time, and James had never lost sleep over it. He knew he'd regret it if he sat around and pined after Sirius uselessly though.

He told Sirius, and Sirius looked at him for a second, then blinked. "Erm. James, I can't- I could get fired for dating a client."

"Right." That made sense. "I hadn't thought of that." He really hadn't thought about it, but who'd want to hire a bodyguard that had a history of hooking up with who they were protecting? Hell, the company could get looked into for solicitation if it happened often enough. If James had thought of that, he would've kept his mouth shut until the end of Sirius's employment with him. "Just... y'know, if you were interested, I'm probably not going to need a bodyguard for much longer." He'd checked back in with the admin team, and they'd said that by next year, he should be good. New information was popping up on people that James's despisers hated more, so they were starting to leave him alone. At least, that's what he'd gotten from the conversation even if it wasn't entirely accurate.

"I know," Sirius said with half a smile. "I was there for that conversation, remember?"

"I'd forgotten," James admitted, a little ashamed. He wasn't the best at paying attention to several things at once when he really cared about one of them more than the others. In that case, he ended up thinking about the one thing and trying desperately to pay attention to the rest. That day, he was pretty sure he'd been so focused on getting his life back to normal that he'd ignored Sirius, and even the talk about their upcoming game.

"Bloody hell," Sirius said, one arm around James as he half-carried, half-guided him down the street so they could catch a cab. "I signed up to be your bodyguard, not your designated driver." Despite his complaining, he didn't sound upset, more amused.

"You could be both," James said slowly, having to put more effort into his words than usual since he was sloshed. He preferred speaking Hindi when he was pissed; it was just easier than English. He didn't think Sirius knew Hindi though, and the only thing he wanted right now was to enjoy Sirius's company.

Sirius laughed. "Maybe so, but I preferred just doing one."

"Heeeey, you could do the partner thing soon."

"I don't remember mentioning a partner thing."

James licked his lips as he tried to remember what the phrase he'd first used was. "Designated driver. Only, instead of just dragging me to a car, we'd be getting sloshed together."

"That does sound more fun."

James was always talkative, but now that he was sloshed, he wasn't stopping. He really liked Sirius. He liked him for lots of reasons, but right now he liked that Sirius was encouraging him. He wasn't getting mad at James for continuing to talk all through the cab ride, or as he helped him up the stairs to his flat. "You're so wonderful," James mumbled.

"Thanks," Sirius said with a laugh. He fished around James's pockets for his keys. James turned and rested his head on Sirius's shoulder, which did make it easier, but somehow he thought that wasn't what James had had in mind.

"You're so pretty," he said, turning his face into Sirius's neck.

"Thanks," he said again. "It's nice to be appreciated."

"In all my life, I've never met someone that made me feel like you do," James said.

"I don't know what you just said, but I'm going to assume it was complimentary."

James nodded. He kissed Sirius's neck because it was there. "The prettiest damn thing I've ever seen."

Sirius swallowed thickly. He didn't need to understand the language to know that whatever James said was something he would appreciate. The kiss sent tingles down his spine, and James's mouth was still resting close enough to him that Sirius could feel his breath hot against his skin. "As much as we would enjoy that, I thought we agreed to wait."

"You're right. You're just so pretty," he whined. "It's really not fair. You should try to be less pretty; it would make my life easier."

"You can live with it," Sirius said. He finally found the keys and put it in the door for him. He unlocked it and pushed the door open. James looked pretty comfy where he was, and it made shuffling him inside his flat a bit harder than getting him here had been. "C'mon mate, you've got to get in bed."

"But you're not there," James said, sounding awfully petulant about it.

Sirius chuckled. "No, but you'll get to sleep just fine without it."

"That's what you think."

"Love, you're drunk enough that you'll definitely pass out before the night's through."

"Aww, you called me 'love'. No one's ever done that before."

"Really?"

James nodded again, but since he wasn't leaning on Sirius as heavily this time, he swayed a little. Sirius was still right next to him though, so he was able to keep him from falling over. "My last boyfriend called me 'babe' but I sort of hated it."

"You do seem like you'd prefer the sweeter pet names. Sweetheart, things like that."

"Feel free to call me sweetheart as much as you want."

"I think I will. After I stop working on protecting you, that is. We've still got to wait, remember?"

"What I remember is issuing an invitation that never got an answer."

"I assumed you knew my answer. Or was I not obvious enough about my interest?" Sirius asked quietly.

"I would say that subtlety passes me by," James said. "But I got it now, thanks. You sure I can't convince you to stay?"

"Not while I'm working for you, and definitely not while you're sloshed." Sirius brought him to his room and took off his shoes when he collapsed back on the bed. "If you want to get undressed more, you're going to have to do it yourself, sweetheart," he said, then kissed James's forehead. "I'll see you tomorrow."

The day for James to no longer need a bodyguard felt like it took forever, but he could grudgingly admit that it had been a good idea. None of it had been serious, but he was told-- by Sirius-- that that's because having a bodyguard was often a large deterrent. In his time as James's bodyguard, Sirius successfully intimidated several people and got physical with one. James would be lying if he said that it hadn't been hot to watch, but he also wasn't going to say that out loud-- it made him feel like he was the heroine in a teen adventure book.

"So, do I have to take you on a date before I get to kiss you?" James asked.

"I wouldn't want you to think I'm easy," Sirius replied with a wink.

"You like curry? I know a good place."

Sirius made a face. "I only like it from one restaurant, and it's all the way up in Wales."

"Wait," James said slowly, a smile creeping across his face, "are you talking about Andi's?"

"Yes, you know it?"

"Bloody love it. I can't make the trip as much as I want, but if you're willing, we can definitely go up there."

"I can think of worse things than spending time with you on the way to the best curry in the UK," Sirius said.

James rented a car because it was easier than taking a cab that far, and it was definitely more private than a train-- which would only be able to take them part of the way anyhow. He wanted for them to be alone anyways, so that they could catch up on all the flirting they'd missed. Not to say that there had been a drought of flirting while Sirius was his bodyguard, but after they agreed to date when his contract was up, they'd tried to tone it down.

They didn't have to worry about that anymore.

The drive was okay, dinner was great, and Sirius snogged him for a bit after they got back in the car but before they drove back to London.

"How the hell do you feel even better than you look?" James whispered, stealing another kiss.

Sirius chuckled. "I was about to ask you the same question, love."

#prongsfoot #marauders #sirius black #james potter #fanfic #filled #getting together #no magic au #post hogwarts #past james/lily #siriuslystarbucks #Anonymous

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bagheerita · 4 years ago

Text

So I just finished Empire of Gold and need to gush about The Daevabad Trilogy for a minute.

(I try to be vague, but that's exactly when I up and hit you with low-key SPOILERS, so be aware.)

My rambling is only barely organized into the format of randomly selected topics in order to provide a vague outline for my outflowing of affection for each book.

CITY OF BRASS

Favorite character: Definitely Nahri. I love a woman who isn't afraid to go after what she wants, and boy howdy do I love me a pragmatist. AND do I love me a girl who can keep her head on her shoulders even when she's in-lust with man. As much as she is truly falling in love with Dara, she never forgets the way he looked at her when he thought she was shafit and his relief when Ghassan said she wasn't. She would have married him if he had offered I think, but she was smart enough to make him take the first step to cross the gap that his prejudice had put between them.

Most impressive thing: The way the author uses her narrator to tell a story that the narrative character doesn't always fully understand. This mostly comes through Ali's chapters at this point cause he's a little naive, but it's really skillfully done.

KINGDOM OF COPPER

Least favorite thing: There are some moments that just felt... weirdly written. There's three big ones that come to mind...

At the beginning- the way the writing describes the environment. I'm paraphrasing because it's been a week since I read it and I don’t remember details, but it's like "the only sound in the graveyard was the distant sound of cats fighting" then, five minutes later "The only sound was the sound of coins jingling in her basket." Like, where were those coins five minutes ago?! Also, why does an experienced thief put coins in a jingly basket that is easy to steal or drop instead of hiding them on her person??? (That's super nitpicky, but it was the first chapter, so I noticed it more.)

The second big moment that annoyed me was... okay so Dara learns that Muntadhir is bisexual through mind-reading powers that he's never previously demonstrated? I mean, there are enough clues about how he does it, and it makes sense to the character's history that he can sense peoples’ desires, but it felt weird that this is the only time we really see him use this power- here, as the inciting incident to the third act, where so much of the plot revolves around it. Dara already knew that Ghassan was planning to force Nahri to marry Muntadhir, they'd already talked about this, so I'm not sure what about Muntadhir being in a relationship with a man, as opposed to the multiple women he’s slept with this week, was enough to make this prospect so immediately repugnant that Dara goes absolutely stupid about it and incites the climax of the book.

Then there's the epilogue that basically just exists to point out what we already learned about Muntadhir and Jamshid. I thought that was kind of unnecessary, as no one in this epilogue scene, including the reader, doesn't already know about this relationship. Though the epilogue does also contain what I think was supposed to be foreshadowing, but which sent me off on a weird mental tangent where I spent most of the second book thinking Jamshid was the reincarnation of Rustam...

Favorite character: Muntadhir, hands down. There is one scene in particular, where he sasses Dara while dying of poison that is just my favorite scene in the entire book. I mean, I think part of my enjoyment was that I had been worried that he was about to be a victim of the Bury Your Gays trope, so when he shows back up still not dead I was so relieved to see him I literally squeeeed, and then he's bragging to Dara about something I explicitly know didn't happen, just actively involved in assassinating his own character because he has nothing else he can give to save his brother at that point except trying to distract Dara by enraging him... omg, do I love me some brotherly feels- my second favorite scene was the three siblings in a closet plotting a coup.

Least favorite thing: Dara lying to himself and justifying Manizheh's actions for the entire book. I get that the fact that he was lied to and betrayed by the people in power that he should have been able to trust is a big part of his arc, but I was not excited to have his POV added to this book just to have him and everyone around him spout off more prejudiced victim narrative bullshit every time I flipped to his chapters, like I wasn't getting enough of that from practically every other character in the story.

Most impressive thing: The author draws some really great parallels and contrasts between the 3 main characters and their journeys that I absolutely love. In chapter 2, Nahri says something like "Where's your sense of adventure?" to her new friend and then literally in the next chapter Ali says "Have you no sense of inquisitiveness?" to his new friend. (I don't like to call ships that early in the story, but I was like- these two are fated to be best friends if not something more.) A bit later in the story, Dara is presented with a choice: to do the easy thing or to do the Right thing, and he chooses the easy path even though he knows that it's wrong. After this, Ali is presented with a choice: to do the easy thing or the Right thing, and he does the Right thing, even though he knows that it ultimately probably won't help. I just really love that this story always feels like every narrative POV and every chapter fully develops the character and contributes to the world.

I also really love the twists and turns that Ali and Nahri’s relationship has taken over these first two books. They really have grown as individuals, and have believed the best and worst of each other, and understand each other in a way that is a great foundation for a truly lasting friendship (which is, of course, the best bedrock for building a more intimate relationship).

EMPIRE OF GOLD

Favorite character: Sobek. I have a soft spot for unrepentant murderers who have a soft spot for the people they find interesting.

Least favorite thing: It ended? I know this book was long enough to be an entire trilogy on its own, but I would have loved more at the end from the side characters. Like, I want 100 more pages just about Jamshid and Muntadhir. I was explicit confirmation of what Zaynab and Aquisa are up to, and a sequel trilogy about their adventures. I want more about Fiza and what her plans are for the future. I want orchard shenanigans with Mishmish. I want more about Sudha and her family. I want more about Nahri conning everyone into making a functional government, and I want more about the trials of everyone in the city learning to not hate and judge as a first reflex. Just MORE!

Most impressive thing: Overall I was just impressed with this entire book. If I had to pick one thing, I would probably say I was most impressed, and pleasantly surprised, by Dara's ending. By this point in the story, I was certain that Dara had transgressed every transgression that it was possible to transgress, and lied to himself the entire way, only deciding upon the Right course of action when it was exactly 2 minutes too late, so I was prepared for him to find Redemption in Death. But once again I was pleasantly surprised at this story's refusal to follow popular story tropes, when it instead granted him true freedom as he perhaps had never known in his life, and the ability to choose who he would live that life in service of- choosing to help those who, like him, had been victims of the ifrit.

I want more stories like this, about characters who are unforgivable, but who are forgiven- not by people or by those they have wronged, but by the narrative itself. Who are able and allowed to rededicate their lives to something, choosing to see their own actions and commit to helping people instead of just blindly following.

OVERALL

Favorite character: I want to say Nahri, though I also really appreciate Ali and his quiet growth from being naive and kind of annoying to a man who is finally comfortable with and understands himself. But I think I’m going to have to choose Jamshid. I really like characters who are honest with themselves about their motivations, and I really admire his willingness to be open to change, to having his entire world and beliefs be turned upside down and try to go with the new way of being instead of holding on to the past, to confess his sins and be honest with Nahri, to believe in the people he knows rather than in what others say about them when Manizheh tries to manipulate him, to have been through everything he's been through and still retain a sense of humor and a generally upbeat personality.

The author does a good job of presenting all of the characters as fully rounded people so that there isn't really a character that I find poorly written. I definitely disagree with a lot of characters, and dislike them as individual people, and Manizheh comes the closest to being someone I truly hate, but you can see the paths that brought these people to be who they are. There are some great lines- where I think it's Nahri who notes that Ghassan's father make him like he was by his abuse, as he had twisted Manizheh up with his own abuse, and that Muntadhir could have easily become just like his father. All people have the potential inside of them to be good or to be evil, and they are formed by the circumstances of their lives, the choices they make, and the power they give to the relationships they have. I also loved that, once she learns the truth about her parents, Nahri notes how much of herself she gets from her Egyptian mother, just as much as she got her Nahid heritage from Rustam, and that it's a part of her that she can be proud of and celebrate.

Most impressive thing: I don't like "realistic" fantasy, where lots of people die, because that tends to be an excuse for the book to just be really depressing. This story really surprised me by being realistic but in a way that was still full of hope. Sometimes people are terrible, or they are broken by the world and can no longer see anything beyond their pain, and a lot of the time the institutions we have created are terrible and are built on terrible things. But there is still always a need for people who do the right thing, who stand up for those who are being treated unfairly, who are willing to make sacrifices to break down the "us" and "them" that divides people. Who are willing to see change not as something to be feared but as a beautiful potential.

Least MOST favorite thing: As Chakraborty herself notes in her afterward: "There are days when it feels silly and selfish to spend my days crafting tales of monsters and magic. But I still believe, desperately, in the power of stories. If you take any message from this trilogy, I hope it is to choose what's right even when it seems hopeless - especially when it seems hopeless. Stand for justice, be a light, and remember what it is we were promised by the One who knows better.

“With every hardship comes ease."

I also believe in the power of stories, and I’m so excited to have been able to experience this one. <3

#book fangasm #the daevabad trilogy #the daevabad trilogy spoilers

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siren1song · 5 years ago

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could I get some,,, um,,, platonic dark sides angst with a happy ending as virgil makes up with his old family? maybe? please? ~imagine anon

You know the way to my heart, Imagine.

Edit because I’m midway through this now: god damn it it got long. I’m committed to doing this right so i’m not shortening it but god damn it.

Also man I hope this is halfway decent, I’m not usually an angst writer.

( @romansleftshoulderpad asked me to tag him ksdfjg)

Home Again

Virgil hesitated in front of the building, looking up at the apartment complex with a nervous frown. He hasn’t been here in years, having run away from his dad and his brother (adopted brother, he wonders if Remus still tries to make the distinction) to go to college, travel the world, figure himself out.

It wasn’t like they’d been bad to him or anything, Virgil had just… needed to get away from the cramped apartment and the same people he’d seen his whole life who’d known him as someone entirely different before he’d left.

Briefly, Virgil wondered if his dad or brother would recognize him with the the undercut and purple hair and the weight he’d gained with the food he’d explored as he bounced from place to place with people who liked his company while he tried to figure himself out.

With a deep breath, he stepped forward and pressed his finger against the buzzer for his dad’s apartment.

“Who is it?”

Virgil swallowed down the lump that formed in his throat upon hearing his dad’s voice.

“Uh… hey, dad.”

The speaker was quiet, but Virgil heard the signature click of the door unlocking and he hurried to pull it open.

The elevator ride to the basement was almost suffocating, with how quiet it was. He would’ve taken the stairs, if Virgil didn’t have suitcase with him. The speakers that used to play old pop music on loop must’ve given out.

Walking to his dad’s apartment door felt like a walk to the gallows to Virgil. He felt this smothering sense of doom hanging over his head, cause fuck his dad and brother must be so pissed at him. Virgil had left six years ago with nothing more than a letter saying he’d be fine but wanting to see what’s out there. And then he just didn’t keep in contact with them.

Not that they didn’t try. For months after he’d initially left, they’d blown up his phone almost daily. Begging him to come or to at least call them to let them know he was okay. He never did, and sometimes he still got drunk texts from his brother wondering where he was and if he still cared about them.

Those texts are honestly why Virgil was here right now, that and his current boyfriend convincing him to at least try to reconnect, regardless of his fears.

He was hovering in front of the door now, chewing on one of his nails before a chip of black nail polish made its way into his mouth and he screwed his face up in disgust, pulling his hand away.

Here goes nothing, Virgil guessed.

Three firm taps against the door, and then Virgil was waiting. He found it oddly symbolic, the way the wait seemed to drag on. Whether or not his dad would be willing to let him into his family again.

Fuck, being a writer was making him overthink this, this is stupid.

Virgil was about to turn away, to go back to the hotel where his boyfriend was staying for the time being, when the door opened and suddenly his limbs were locking up.

God damn it, he was still shorter than his already really fucking short dad.

“A-” his dad stopped when Virgil instinctively flinched at the start of his dead-name.

“…Name?”

Virgil gave a sheepish but grateful smile, pulling a sleeve further over his hand so he could rub his fingers over the textured fabric of the jacket cuff.

“Virgil,” he answered, getting a nod in response as his dead stepped aside.

He hesitated, because he always hesitated, but he really wanted to talk to his family again, so Virgil stepped inside the tiny apartment.

“So uh… where’s Remus?”

“He moved out two years ago. Should still come by for dinner tonight, though.”

Virgil flinched at the dig, not missing the bitterness in his fathers voice. He was getting a feeling this conversation wasn’t going to be a pleasant one. Not that he came in here expecting his dad to be all smiles to see him again, he always was in the habit of holding long grudges.

It was quiet for a few moments, Virgil struggling to come up with something to say.

“Did you find what you were looking for?”

Virgil snapped his eyes to his dad’s, taking note of the prosthetic eye being a new style. Was that a snake pupil? He didn’t answer the question, brows furrowing in confusion.

“I mean, I would sure hope so, seeing as you’re finally home after six years, but I thought I’d ask. Whatever you were looking for, did you find it?”

Feeling his heart sinking in his chest, Virgil looked to the floor. He wrapped his arms around his stomach, shoulders hunching forward as he picked out his words.

“I… think so.”

There was a beat of silence, and then footsteps, a chair scraping against the floor, a soft thump of weight settling.

“You think? It’s been six years, Virgil, and you can’t even come home positive you’ve become who you wanted to be?”

He pressed his mouth into a thin line, wincing at the question because honestly, his dad was right. Virgil really should be more sure of himself by now.

“I’ve found out… a lot, about myself,” Virgil starts, continuing to avoid looking at his dad, “obvious things aside, I learned I really like writing, and that I’m pretty good at it. Learned I don’t really like ocean travel, that I hate air travel even more, but I think Europe is pretty cool and South America is even better.”

While Virgil talked, he looked around the room. He noted the pictures, tried not to be hurt at how few of them had him in them even if he knew seeing himself before he started transitioning would be difficult to look at.

“I figured out I was gay, after the whole gender crisis. And I learned what it felt like to love and be loved,” he said.

Virgil would’ve continued, but he made the mistake of looking at his dad then and seeing the hurt and anger in his good eye, practically melting any affection or caring that might’ve been there before away from his expression.

“So you don’t think we loved you?”

“What? No that’s not-”

“Really? Because that certainly sounds like what you were saying.”

Virgil felt his throat close up, and he shut his eyes as he struggled to breathe through it. It wasn’t the type of breathing difficulty he experienced when he was having a panic attack, but God did the difference really matter? It hurt just the same.

“No, dad. That’s not what I was saying. I was... I’ve had so many flings, in the last several years. Some of them were disasters, others were like walking on clouds until the clouds ran out. I just-” Virgil sighed, running his fingers through his hair, pushing his bangs back and letting them fall in front of his eyes as his hand moved to the back of his head.

“Listen, I thought about you guys all the time. I’d honestly only planned to stay gone for a year, but when that time stamp had come closer I got... I got so fucking scared. I’d basically cut you guys out at that point, and I was worried you would turn me away before I got the chance to explain myself.”

Virgil’s exhaustion was suddenly overwhelming, and he had to pull out a chair from the table to collapse in before his legs gave out from under him.

He wondered if the silence would ever stop drowning him.

“I wouldn’t have. Still won’t, if the fact you’re currently sitting at my kitchen table means anything,” his dad started, making Virgil look up at him with tired eyes, “I was- am pissed. It’s hard not to be bitter when my baby g- ah... when my son up and leaves two nights after he graduates high school with no warning and no goodbye outside of a letter I found on his pillow.”

Virgil felt his lower lip wobble as tears built in his eyes, and he clamped it between teeth in an attempt to keep himself from crying.

“Virgil I missed you so much for so long. At one point I had almost convinced myself you had died somehow.”

His dad slumped over the table, putting his head in his hands to keep his face from view.

Virgil rubbed the tears away from his eyes, sucking in a deep breath as he quietly moved seats to sit right next to his dad, leaning against him the way he used to when he was overwhelmed and just needed the physical reminded someone was there.

He felt his dad let out a watery laugh, shifting until he was able to wrap his arms tight around Virgil’s shoulders, nuzzling his face into the fluff that was Virgil’s hair.

“I’m still mad at you, and you know I’m going to be for a while, but... if you want to stay for dinner, I’m sure Remus would be ecstatic to see you after he gives up trying to murder you for leaving.”

Virgil snorted, his own arms already wrapped around his dad’s torso.

“Still destructive, then?” he asked, relishing the contact with the older man, contact he’d been longing for for years.

“I think he’s gotten worse as he’s gotten older, honestly.”

There was still a lot of issues Virgil had to talk over with his family, and his boyfriend would definitely want to meet them no matter how much Virgil would inevitably try to steer him off it because his family was unsettling at the best of times and Patton was a puffball.

But at least he’d started mending the gap he’d torn between them.

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amazingphanisnotonfire-imagines · 5 years ago

Text

Betty//things change and friends leave. life doesn't stop for anybody.

Request: Can I request a Betty/Reader where you fly in with Nick St Clair as one of Veronica's old friends and you ask her to show you around Riverdale

hey! i hate nick...a lot. i wonder if that translates in this? anyway, i hope you like it! also, it seems every gay thing i write always has some sort of quote in all lower case letters as the title. hmm... this one is from the perks of being a wallflower. maybe i rushed in with the romance and lovey stuff, maybe i don’t care.

“You really are an awful person.” You spit as you get out of the cab. Nick smiles sweetly at you while he gets out the other side, practically sprinting so he can get to the boot and pull your bags out before you have a chance. He places them on the ground but doesn’t take his hands off the handle until a few seconds after you’ve grabbed it, and your fingers touching his makes you feel even sicker than the plane here.

“Thats not very nice Y/n.” He replies, before sending a very fake, but very big smile to the cab driver and giving him a large tip. “Especially not to someone like me. Or do you want me to tell my parents?”

“Your parents know you’re an ass, they just don’t want to be murdered in their sleep.” You reply and spin on your heel, pulling your suitcase behind you.

“Hey!” He calls after you and you groan, you’ve already been stuck on a plane and in a taxi with him and the short walk from the side of the road to the hotel you’re both staying in seems like a lifetime away. “You’re supposed to be my friend.”

“I am not your friend. I tolerate you because of Veronica, and after she left to move here, I’ve barely seen you. And when I have, it hasn’t been enjoyable.”

“Clearly, that plane ride made you grouchy.” He teases and pinches your cheek. You stop abruptly and turn to face him, you’re just about to slap him when Veronica’s cheery voice stops you.

“Next time. I won’t stop.” You whisper in his ear before looking at your friend, a bright smile appearing on your face as you take in her appearance. She looks different since the last time you saw her, but thats what a small town does to someone like Veronica, however she doesn’t look sad, she looks happy instead, and even though she left you in New York to deal with Nick St douchebag, you’re happy she’s happy.

“Y/n!” She squeals and wraps you in a tight hug. “Nick!” She says once she’s pulled away and you can tell she isn’t as excited to see him, that fact alone makes you feel a little better about all the time you’re inevitably going to have to spend with him. “How’s New York?” She wraps an arm around your shoulder, guiding you up the steps of the hotel and Nick walks on the other side of her.

“Not the same without you.” You say genuinely and she looks at you sadly.

“I’ve missed you.”

“I’v-”

“We’ve missed you too.” Nick interrupts and as soon as he starts talking its like your automatic response is to roll your eyes.

“Aww.” She hits his arm lightly as you walk through the front door and in to the lobby. Its not as fancy as the hotels you’ve stayed at before, but for a small town you’re quite impressed, however you can’t imagine that they get many people staying.

Veronica’s told you so much about Riverdale, about how quaint it is, and how it looks like it would be the backdrop of some coming of age film that the two of you would watch back home. You would fawn over the protagonist, who would be trying to figure out what she was destined to do with her life, while trying to juggle everything else that was thrown at her. And Veronica would drool over her love interest, who would look far to old to be playing a 17 year old, with a chiseled jaw line and abs that definitely did not fit the aesthetic. You missed those times, but like in those coming of age movies, life doesn’t always go the way you want it to, and usually the universe will throw a curveball your way, and you can’t always dodge it.

So, when she invited you to come visit, you were excited to see her new home, meet her new friends, and a small part of you had hoped that your own film, romantic or adventurous or anything in between would start here. But, thats not how the real world works. And instead of meeting the love of your life, you end up stuck with the devil himself on a plane, while he talks about how much he’s missed Veronica and if she’s got a boyfriend yet.

“Oh, before you guys check in, I want to introduce you to some people.” She smiles. “Archie! Betty! Come here!” She waves behind you, and you and Nick both turn around at the same time. You’re met with a red-headed boy and a girl with very light green eyes, pink lips and blonde hair. The pale pink shirt underneath her short dungarees, is so simple but so elegant and even though you’ve never met her, it seems to be so her. “Y/n, Nick.” The sound of his name in the same sentence as yours makes your face scrunch up and the blonde girl seems to notice, a small smile flickering on her face. “This is my boyfriend, Archie.” She says and you glance at Nick, the bright smile on his face drops, and your smile widens. “And this is my best friend, Betty.” She introduces you all.

“Rude.” You mumble and send her a teasing smile before waving at the two. “Y/n.” You smile, your eyes lingering on Betty for a moment longer than normal and a soft blush dusts her cheeks.

“Nice to meet you both.” Archie says while shaking Nick’s hand. “Veronica has told us so much about you.”

“All good I hope.” Nick jokes, but the tone of his voice seems to make you all a little uncomfortable.

“Nothing about you is good.” You reply and send him a sarcastic smile. Both Betty and Archie stifle a smile at your comment, and you can tell you’re going to get along with them. Veronica decides to change the subject to stop any fights happening and soon the five of you are exchanging in polite small talk.

“Anyway.” She claps her hands together after a few minutes. “I need to take Nick to talk to my delightful father.”

“Yeah, I have to go back home.” Archie scratches the back of his neck awkwardly. “Sorry I couldn’t hang out with you guys more.” He sends both you and Nick apologetic smiles, to which you return and Nick just huffs.

“Who says hang anymore.” He whispers in your ear, a small snicker following it making you roll your eyes...again.

“Everyone that talks about how they’d like to watch you die.” You return and shove past him as you walk closer to Veronica. As soon as your by her side she looks between you and a very annoyed Nick before giving you a confused look.

“Well Betty, I guess you’re stuck with me.” You move to look at her, and the two of you send each other small smiles. “Thats if you’ll have me.” You add and she nods, some would say a little too quickly.

“Yeah.” She says. “I can show you around if you want.” She suggests.

“Yeah, that would be great.”

“Well, we all have our orders. Y/n, I’ll meet you at Pop’s later on if you like.”

“Pop’s?” You ask.

“I’ll take you there last.” Betty says.

“You can leave your bags here and they’ll put them in your rooms.” Veronica tells you before calling someone over. She gives them their orders and you smile gratefully at them as they grab your bags. “See you later Y/n. And thanks Betty.” She hugs both of you, before kissing Archie quickly and then guiding Nick out into the street.

“See you Betty. It was nice meeting you Y/n.” Archie is the next to leave and you wave politely at him before he disappears.

“So where do you want to start?” Betty asks.

“I don’t know.” You shrug. “Do you have a favourite place?” You ask as the two of you walk down the steps.

“Hmmm.” She thinks about it for a few seconds before her face lights up in a bright smile, and the sight alone makes you feel a whole lot better about being here for a week, even if you do have to spend some of it with Nick. “I know just the place.” She says before turning on her heel and walking in the opposite direction than you were originally going.

“Is this place far?” You ask. “Because these shoes are not made for walking far. I’m not like Veronica, I can’t sprint in heels.” You giggle and she glances at your black heels.

“I think Veronica could run a marathon in heels if needed.” She laughs. “But don’t worry, my car is parked down the street.” She reassures you. Once the two of you are in the car and driving down the small streets she glances at you quickly before looking back at the road. “Do you miss her?” Her tone changes drastically and the sound of the street your walking down seems too loud all of a sudden. You came here to have fun and see your friend, not talk about serious things with a stranger, no matter how cute said stranger is.

“Erm. Yeah. I do. New York doesn’t feel the same without her.” You admit and look at the passing trees. She sighs, trying to think of something to say to you. However, no matter how much of a people person she thinks she is, she knows how close you and Veronica where, and she knows that if Archie moved to a different street let alone city or town, nobody would be able to make her feel better. So instead she keeps to simple girl talk, something that you’re grateful for, even if you don’t tell her.

“I like your outfit.” She says and you look at her, a small smile on your face.

“Thanks. I like yours too.” You reply and she rolls her eyes.

“You don’t have to be nice.” She shakes her head and you stare at her confused.

“I’m not. I genuinely like what you’re wearing. Why is that so surprising?”

“I just thought it wouldn’t something you liked, I mean based on your outfit right now, I can’t imagine you ever wearing short dungarees.”

“I’m full of surprises Betty.” You nudge her causing her to giggle.

“I’m sure.” She replies, stomping at some traffic lights. Her gaze lingers on your profile for a few seconds too many, and when you catch her staring she can’t help the blush that burns her cheeks.

“So, where exactly are you taking me?”

“I am also full of surprises.”

You continue looking out the window, and wonder what type of place could pull someone like Betty in.

-----

“This is your favourite place?” You wonder as you look around.

“Yep.” She smiles back at you before sitting down on the ground. “Its great isn’t it?”

“It’s an abandoned railway.” You quirk an eyebrow as you look at her. “Its hardly paradise.”

“It is to me.” She smiles, her eyes are closed and her head is tipped back slightly, a soft breeze making her ponytail sway a little and she looks so calm, so peaceful, so at home. “Me and my sister, Polly, used to come here when we were little. Our mom would always tell us to stay away from this place but we never listened. We’d play and run around and just escape into our own little worlds.” She explains before looking back at you. “Do you have anywhere like that back in New York?”

“Hmm.” You think for a few seconds before sitting beside her, your legs outstretched on the cold concrete while hers are crossed next you. The coldness of the ground makes you shiver a little and she’s quickly untying the jacket from her waist and handing it to you. You’re about to argue, but the look she gives you shuts you up and so you smile at her gratefully before draping it over your shoulders. “Not really. When you live where I do, there’s not a lot of places like this. Its all high rise buildings and busy roads, not sleepy streets and abandoned railways. Plus, with my parents being who they are, especially back then, I couldn’t really go out alone. I was always with someone, whether it was a nanny or a chauffeur.” You sigh. “I know.” You hold your hands up. “That makes me sound really stuck up. But I promise I’m not.”

“That honestly never even crossed my mind.” She replies quietly and you turn your head a little to look at her. “Nick however, is an ass.”

“Don’t even get me started.” You groan. “He is the worst person in the world. I honestly don’t know why Veronica is friends with him. Literally the only reason I talk to him, is because of he-what?” You ask when you notice her still looking at you, an un-readable look in her eyes.

“Nothing.” She shakes her head. “Come on.” She stands quickly and pulls you up with her. “I have somewhere else to show you.”

-----

“Oh yeah. This is it.” You smile brightly at her and she gives you a confused look.

“This is what?” She asks as the two of you look around. The bridge connecting Riverdale to the outside world is quiet for the time of day. The sun is high in the sky, warming the two of you, and her jacket is now wrapped around your waist, it doesn’t entirely go with your outfit but Betty thinks its cute, and she has to give her head a shake to get rid of that thought. You’re Veronica’s friend from New York who she’s showing around, nothing more and nothing less. The water from Sweetwater River is gentle beneath the red bridge, but you can hear it none the less, and that sound mixed with the birds in the trees makes you smile as soon as you parked.

“This is where my coming of age story starts.” You spin around and take in your surroundings, and Betty’s looking at you even more confused than before.

“What?”

“This.” You look at her. “Is where everything starts. I’m going to fall in love and have to defeat evil all while trying to figure out who I am.”

“You’re...” She tries to find the word to describe you, to describe how you look right now. But there’s no word to describe how Betty feels when she looks at you. Despite knowing you for less than two hours, she can’t help her stomach doing summersaults every time she looks at you, or the way her heart hammers in her chest every time you laugh. So her sentence dies, whatever compliment she was going to give you disappears, and she’s left watching you while you try and find a stick to drop into the water. “Coming of age?” She asks and hands you a small twig. Your eyes light up as you take it from her and the two of you lean over the ledge, you watching the way it falls and her watching you. You then grab her hand in yours, quickly look at the road before running across it and leaning over the other side. As soon as you see the stick you do a little celebratory dance, and the laugh that comes from your lips is something Betty could never get sick of hearing.

“What about it?”

“Whats it about?”

“Well, Veronica told me that Riverdale could be used in a coming of age film. And we used to watch them all the time at home, so I was excited to see it for myself. The railway was a good contender, but this bridge...this is it. I mean look at it. Its so old and solid and just...here.”

She nods and she looks around. “I get that. But I have somewhere else to show you.”

----

“This place is great.” You look around in awe. “Why the hell was this placed closed.”

“You know, I have a friend called Jughead who you would get along with very well.” She says as the two of you walk through the empty drive in. “So where does this come into your story?”

“Oh, okay.” You stop suddenly and she almost walks into you. “So, two options. Which one do you want to hear?”

“Both.” She nods.

“Well, first option. I’ve met my love interest...whoever she is.” The word she makes Betty’s heartbeat pick up, and now she’s even more interested in what you have to say. “And, she’s showing me around, hey, kind of like this.” You laugh. “And we break into here, and she’s trying to show me that there’s more to life that whatever the hell I’m worrying about, maybe a murder or something. Basically she’s showing me how to live. And we end up here, stood right in this spot, both of us inching closer to the other.” You’re both hyper-aware of how close the two of you seem to have gotten and you don’t remember being this close before. “And...she’ll hold my hand softly in hers, tip my chin to look at her and then lean in slowly, and the whole thing will feel slow and fast all at the same time. And she’ll kiss me, and it’ll be soft and gentle and everything I thought it would be.” You finish, your eyes feel heavy as you look at Betty, your lips centimeters apart and Betty’s hand is holding your arm gently.

“What happens in the second scenario?” She asks quietly and you glance at her eyes. Very light green from far away, but when you look at them up close, they have darker green and even golden specks in them.

“Well, its gotten to the point where everything has gone to shit. My whole life is falling apart, I’ve lost friends, made enemies and the whole reason for my story seems lost. So I come here to make myself feel better, to remind me of the happier times. And she follows me. We fight. We scream and shout at each other and its raining so much you can barely see in front of you. And just as she’s about to storm off, I grab her wrist and pull her back to me, pressing a quick kiss to her lips.” You’re voice is practically a whisper as you look at her. “And then we make out.” You say the last part casually making her laugh loudly.

“Is that the night you guys go like all the way.” She teases, her voice high pitched and mocking and now its your turn to laugh loudly.

“Erm, duh.” You reply, flicking your hair over your shoulder and the two of you giggle.

“Ooooo.” She wiggles her eyebrows.

“So, where are we going now?” You ask.

“Somewhere, that I think you’re really going to like.” She replies, her eyes shining as she stares at you.

For a split second while you’re looking at each other, it feels like you truly are in some sort of movie.

----

“This our last stop before Pop’s.” She turns to face you, as she rambles about the history of this place she walks confidently backwards until you stop at a clearing.

“We’re in the middle of the forest.” You look around.

“I know.” She says. “But its so much more. This is where stories begin.”

“What do you mean?” You ask and she smirks at you.

“Sit down.” She guides you to a worn out brown sofa, pushing you to sit down. She then stands in front of you, a bright grin on her face as she begins. “This.” She points to the ground. “This is where me and Archie buried treasure when we were 8. Its where me and Polly dug it up a week later and its also where Archie got annoyed at me for digging it up, despite him being there with Jughead, to also dig it up a week after that. Its where Cheryl Blossom had her first kiss at 12, with an unknown boy, the mystery of who it was still causes controversy. Its where Jughead went when his dad was drunk, and its also where me and Archie would meet him. Keeping him company until one of us had to go home. Polly told me she had her third date here with Jason Blossom, and that something else happened too, but I won’t divulge.” She scrunches her face up at the last bit and you do the same, standing up quickly and dusting yourself off.

“Gross.” You mumble and decide to sit on the plastic chair.

“We’ve had bonfires, fireworks, parties, fake weddings...don’t ask. Even a fake funeral...definitely don’t ask. There’s been first kisses, first dates, first friendships made. Handshakes and hugs, and everything in between...for generations. This is where everyone’s coming of age story starts and ends. So how do you want to start yours?”

“Like this.” You stand up and walk the short distance towards her. Your hearts in your throat and your stomaches seems to have dropped to your knees while your hands cup her cheek. Her breath hitches at the sudden close proximity but she doesn’t seem to mind, in fact she leans into your touch, her eyes fluttering closed. And then you’re kissing her, softly at first, just to test the waters. Her lips taste like strawberry chapstick and vanilla ice cream and you can’t help but wonder when the hell she had that because you met her at 11 this morning. But that melts away with the rest of your thoughts when her hands rest on your waist, squeezing ever so slightly as you deepen the kiss.

Yeah, this is so much better than any film.

#betty cooper #betty cooper x reader #betty cooper x you #betty cooper imagine #betty #betty imagine #betty x reader #betty x you #riverdale #riverdale imagine

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tired-eyes-cold-as-ice · 4 years ago

Text

Finally Free

summary: He thought about how long it took him to accept it. Not realize, no, Alex Mercer has always liked boys, there was not a single doubt in his mind. He’s always known. He just hated that part of himself for the majority of his life. Or, Alex comes out.

warnings: panic attacks, implied/referenced homophobia, internalized homophobia, depression, strong language (Alex Swears™)

words: 5783

chapters: 2/2

notes: This was supposed to a cute one-shot where Luke and Reggie write Finally Free for Alex after he comes out to them because I was rewatching JATP (as one does) and noticed the song in Luke's journal and my brain went brrr. And then I started writing it? And suddenly Alex was horribly depressed and everything was miserable?? So, uh, yeah. I promise there is a happy, soft ending though because Luke and Reggie are good friends. I apologize for the Bobby erasure in this, I deadass forgot about him when writing.

read on ao3 <3

---

Chapter 1: What If?

To say that he was scared shitless would be an understatement.

To say that he was so terrified he felt like his heart would force its way out of his body right through his throat would be closer to the truth, though no analogy could accurately describe Alex’s feelings as he stood before his two bandmates. Alex scanned the room, eyes darting from Luke’s guitar in the corner of the studio, to his drum set, the extremely beat up dartboard on the far end wall, even his own shoes—anywhere but the two boys sat in front of him with worried expressions painted all over their faces. Subconsciously, he started fidgeting with the hem of his sweatshirt, rubbing the soft pink fabric between his shaking fingers. Breathe.

He breathed in, words forming in his mind. He opened his mouth to let them out, but nothing happened. He tried one more time, still nothing.

His eyes welled up with tears and he blinked them away angrily, letting out a frustrated groan. Why did it have to be so fucking difficult?

As he reached up to rub away at his eyes, trying to will the tears to go away, a quiet voice broke the silence in the room.

“Alex, if… if you’re not feeling up to it right now, we can just go play and you can tell us some other time.”

Alex couldn’t help but snort slightly at that. Luke Patterson has never sounded this gentle and under different circumstances, Alex might’ve started teasing him for going soft but not now. Not when Luke’s eyes were filled with genuine concern and it was clear he was using all his willpower not to just jump up and pull Alex into his arms since that’s how Luke Patterson comforted people who seemed upset.

And, well, Alex was upset.

He glanced over at Reggie too, the dark-haired boy mirroring Luke’s expression though Alex could see there was more to it under the surface. Reggie wasn’t just worried, he was scared. When Alex joined them in the studio earlier and announced he needed to talk to them in a very serious tone, Reggie instantly deflated and curled in on himself like he did every time someone mentioned his parents or raised their voice even slightly.

Alex felt like an asshole. In fact, Alex felt pathetic. All he needed to get out were three words. Three simple fucking words and it would be all be over. Three words and his friends could stop worrying. Three words and his friends might abandon him.

Either way, it would be over.

He breathed out shakily, ducking his head to avoid the concerned looks. No words came out.

He knew Luke and Reggie would never abandon him. He doubted the two could even moderately dislike him. They were best friends, brothers, family. In fact, a part of Alex thought they already knew, somehow. But there was another part hidden away in the darkest corner of his mind that wouldn’t let him believe any of that and made him doubt. What if?

“N-no... no, sorry,” he finally mumbled, clearing his throat when he realized how hoarse he sounded. “I need to tell you now, it’s just… it’s hard.”

Hesitantly, he lifted his gaze to look at the boys again. They both offered him small, supportive smiles—though Alex could see that Reggie’s was far from genuine—and waited patiently.

For hyperactive teenage boys, they knew how to be patient when the situation called for it. Alex loved that about them. He loved them, he needed them.

What if?

He thought about how long it took him to accept it. Not realize, no, Alex Mercer has always liked boys, there was not a single doubt in his mind. He’s always known. He just hated that part of himself for the majority of his life. Wrong, bad, disgusting—that’s what he’d hear in church every Sunday. That’s what his father would repeat whenever they’d see two guys holding hands on the street, whenever Queen would come on the radio. That’s what he’d hear in school most days. Sometimes directed at him, sometimes not, but Alex heard it every time. He heard every slur, every bad joke, he remembered every shove, every punch, whether they were directed at him or not. He saw, he heard, he felt.

Wrong, bad, disgusting.

Don’t look, don’t touch, don’t feel.

Wrong. Bad. Disgusting.

And then Luke Patterson started appearing in his classes and always sat himself right next to Alex with the dumbest of grins permanently plastered on his face. The same grin he gave the new kid, Reggie Peters, when he walked in on his first day and had no other choice but to sit in the row beside Luke and Alex.

Suddenly, Alex couldn’t hear the slurs and the shoves because the noise was drowned out by Luke laughing at whatever nonsense Reggie just let out of his mouth. It was drowned out by Reggie singing one of his silly country songs and Luke playing the guitar to accompany him as they ate lunch together. Alex could no longer hear the jokes and names because Luke was yelling in his ear about some new band he discovered while Reggie laughed softly in the background.

The world fell away piece by piece and all that was left was their little bubble. Their own little world where Alex could laugh and play his drums and just be. Their own little reality where Alex could grab Luke’s hand and would be rewarded with a hug instead of a punch to his stomach. Where Reggie would cuddle up to his side when he was upset and let Alex run his fingers through his hair until he calmed down. Their own little world filled with music where Alex could look and touch and feel.

What if?

He shook his head no. There was no way. Breathe.

He closed his eyes.

After what felt like an eternity, Alex finally managed to speak up.

“I, uh… I am gay.”

The room was quiet, and Alex did not feel brave enough to open his eyes. He couldn’t.

He couldn’t bear seeing the hatred in his friends’ eyes that was undoubtedly there.

Wrong. Bad. Disgusting.

Memories were flooding his brain. Every bad joke, every shove, every slur, every punch was forcing its way back into his mind from where he tried to repress them, clear images flashing in front of his eyes.

He couldn’t breathe.

His lungs were crying for air, but his throat wouldn’t let any pass through. His chest felt heavy, his hands were shaking, he couldn’t breathe, he—

He was in someone’s arms.

Alex’s eyes shot open with panic and a painful gasp escaped his lips in a desperate attempt to get some oxygen into his lungs. His head was spinning, his body was shaking, his legs felt weak and yet Alex didn’t find himself collapsing on the floor because someone was holding him up. Someone was hugging him. No, not just someone. Luke. Luke was hugging him, and he could feel Reggie taking one of his hands into his own and squeezing it gently.

“Alex, breathe.”

He latched onto that voice like it was a lifeline, forcing his raging mind to stop and focus focus focus and finally drew in a sharp breath.

---

They just stood there for a while. Alex had buried his face in Luke’s neck as he tried to steady his breathing, though he was no longer fighting the tears streaming down his face and soaking Luke’s shirt. Reggie was still holding his hand, squeezing it every so often in reassurance, but it didn’t take long before he also wrapped his free arm around Alex, drawing him close.

“You’re okay, Alex.”

“We love you, dude.”

Alex could scream.

They held him with such tenderness, like he was the most precious thing in the universe, and he felt safe in their arms, he felt loved.

When he finally tried to pull away, Luke tightened his grip around him for just a moment, like he didn’t want to let him go. He gave in eventually and resorted to just holding Alex’s hand like Reggie, whose eyes were red from crying.

They both squeezed his hands at the same time, and Alex couldn’t help but smile at that.

“Thanks, guys,” he hummed, looking up at two of them.

Reggie blushed and smiled at Alex, shrugging as if to say of course. Beside him, Luke broke out into that stupid idiot grin of his and Alex made a note to smack himself any time he felt like doubting these two idiots again.

As if.

---

Chapter 2: Finally Free

Alex comes out to his mother. It doesn't go well.

(Oh, and if you’re wondering about the band practice note, read this chapter.)

Thank you for reading <3

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flyingstar360 · 4 years ago

Text

Bittersweet Memories

So, Happy Thanksgiving and I’m really sorry for Alex angst/ooc. There’s a little bit more adult-ish content in it, and by that, I mean we have boys kissing, mentions of teenage drinking, a few colorful words I may have forgotten to edit out, and mentions of some pretty serious homophobia topics. Also, I’m straight, so I’ve never had to come out or anything, and this is my first time writing openly gay characters. Hopefully, I did okay, and I don’t offend anyone! Any way, it’s a long one, so sorry!

Bittersweet Memories

Alex twisted his drumsticks between his fingers. Julie and her family weren’t home. She told the boys she was going to go volunteer with her dad and brother, but honestly? Alex’s anxiety post Orpheum had been at an all time high. Between secret meetings with Willie, trying to avoid Caleb and save Willie’s soul, band practice and their growing fan base, and the fact that the holidays were coming up? Alex felt like one of the strings of Luke’s guitar, right before it snapped.

He knew Thanksgiving had always been Reggie’s favorite holiday. It was the one day his parents didn’t scream all day, because there was just enough distraction and alcohol to keep them from going after each other. He and his brother would play flag football and watch the parade with their cousins. The delight was practically oozing off him as he and Luke were curled in front of Julie’s laptop, rambling on about the musical acts performing. Ironically, it was a show about hell, or something?

“Dude if musicals had been like this? Yo, I would never have given you a hard time about them.” Luke said to Alex, looking up from his spot on the ground.

Luke’s relationship with Thanksgiving was a little more complicated than Reggie’s. It wasn’t his favorite, but he didn’t hate it. Plus, now that they were dead, Luke had never been closer to his family. Even though they had no idea Julie was actually helping him leave little clues around for them to know he was there with them.

“Are you gonna go see your parents today?” He asked Luke.

“Already done. Julie helped me leave a little message for my mom.” Luke grinned.

Alex rolled his eyes. “Please tell me it has nothing to do with cranberry jelly.”

Emily Patterson made the best homemade cranberry sauce Alex had ever eaten. The Thanksgiving he’d spent at the Patterson’s was one of the best meals Alex had ever eaten. But Luke, for some reason, didn’t like the cranberry sauce his mom made. It was one of those fancy ones, with real cranberries and orange in it. To Alex, it smelled and tasted exactly like he always dreamed the holidays would. Sweet, with a hint of spices. But no.Luke wanted processed cranberry jelly. Alex remembered seeing the two of them arguing about it the last Thanksgiving they’d been alive. Luke had run away a few weeks later, and they’d died in July.

“Julie got me a can of cranberry jelly to leave on the counter. Mom’ll know.”

Alex hated canned cranberry jelly. All he could think about was the way it had clung to his button down shirt the last Thanksgiving he spent with his parents. He remembered the sounds of the plates crashing, the way the glass pie plate had shattered as it hit the wall and smashed next to his face, and the way his father’s voice spit out the words as he- No, Alex didn’t want to think about it.

Alex hated Thanksgiving, actually.

It was two Thanksgivings ago- or two Thanksgivings before he died, instead. His dad’s coworker had come over with his family. Alex didn’t mind. Mr. Marsters’s son was a little older than him. And he was cool. Seth Marsters was a baseball player at the fancy private school in town. He was class president. He was handsome. He liked good music. And he was honestly really nice. Alex never minded spending time with him, and their parents were good enough friends that it happened pretty frequently. The two had ended up in Alex’s room while their dads talked work and their moms finished the dinner and drank wine. Sometimes they’d play Super Mario Kart on Alex’s Nintendo and the TV he had in his room. Other times, the boys just sat around and talked and listened to music.

“Okay.” Seth had said as he opened the tape deck Alex had in his room. “Don’t laugh, but I made you mix tape with some of the other songs I thought you’d like. I would have burnt you a CD, but Dad wouldn’t let me use the computer, because he was too busy with work.”

Alex grinned and flopped himself across his blue bedspread as he watched Seth fiddle with the tape deck. Alex didn’t have a lot of friends. His anxiety made it hard to make friends at school. So, the guys in band were his best friends- and so far, the only people who knew he was gay. Luke had actually been the first guy Alex ever kissed- after they’d snuck a bottle of something that had made Alex’s eyes water and throat burn out of Mr. Patterson’s liquor cabinet. Reggie would turn up at the backdoor in the middle of the night sometimes, with cuts or bruises Alex never questioned but would clean up nonetheless. And Bobby would show up at lunch with extra food packed for the guys, and his mom always made sure Alex had something without nuts in it. It was that kind of stuff that made Alex feel normal. And not like a freak. Even though he knew he was different from everyone else. But besides the guys, he didn’t feel comfortable with almost anyone else. Except Seth.

“Okay, but I can’t promise not to laugh until I hear what songs you picked.”

Seth grinned back and hit play as he plopped himself next to Alex, resting on his elbows, face to face with Alex. It took everything Alex had not to blush as Seth went on and on about why Nirvana was a better band than Poison. Nodding dumbly, he didn’t even register what was playing- until he heard a familiar voice whose CD was hidden behind his copy of The Hobbit on his bookshelf.

“I’m sorry, is this Whitney Houston?” Alex sat straight up. Seth was the one blushing now, as he fumbled to skip the song.

“Yeah, it’s dumb, I just-“

Alex reached out to stop him. “Dude, I love Whitney Houston. She’s got a killer voice.”

Seth turned a shade redder than before. Alex had never seen him flustered at all before. Seth was normally the one all put together, and Alex was the anxious mess. It was honestly pretty endearing, and Alex felt the butterflies in his stomach. “I heard this on the radio and I kind of thought of you instantly.” Seth said quietly. “It just.. well. It makes me think of you every time I hear it, I guess.”

Alex just kind of blinked for a moment, processing what that could mean, as Seth watched him carefully. But Before Alex could really say anything, Seth leaned in and pressed his lips against Alex’s.

Oh.

OH.

Alex closed his eyes as Seth wrapped his hand around the back of Alex’s head and pulled him in closer. His lips were soft and Alex thought he could taste a hint of Chapstick, and root beer. It was a million times better than the clunky teeth and lips kiss he and Luke had shared. This was like a movie kiss, in Alex’s opinion. The butterflies in his stomach, the way his heart was pounding- suddenly he felt like he really got why the guys in the band were so obsessed with girls Being able to have moments like this, feel like this, without anyone judging you? Without anyone thinking you’re spreading a deadly disease? It felt almost as good as playing music.

“And I will always love you-“ Whitney’s long hold of the note drowned out the sound of Alex’s mother’s heels clicking down the hall, but not the screech she let out after pushing his door open and seeing the two boys’ moment.

Alex wouldn’t forget that sound. Or the sound of the front door slamming as his Dad sent Seth and his parents away without even eating.

“Dad, it’s not his fault.” Alex said as his father stormed back into the dining room where Alex stood next to his mother. As his dad started to yell again, Alex cut him off. “Dad! It’s not his fault. I-I kissed him back.”

His father froze, eyes wide, face purple. Veins were bulging on his neck. Alex hadn’t meant to say that.

“I’m gay, Dad.”

He sure as hell hadn’t planned on saying that. He took a deep breath and continued. “Look, I know it’s upsetting, but I’ve known for a while and I didn’t know how to tell you guys. I didn’t want to disappoint you, and-“

That was when the glass pie plate with his mom’s famous cherry pie hit the wall next to his face. Alex ducked to avoid the plate of cranberry jelly that followed it. His father only stopped hurtling dishes at Alex because his mom stepped in between them and told him to leave the house. He ran out, shirt covered in cranberry goop splatter and cherry pie filling. He must have looked like he’d murdered someone when he’d shown up at Bobby’s house. Bobby’s mom brought him clean clothes and let him spend the night. After that Thanksgiving, Alex noticed Luke’s parents looking at him strangely after church. Reggie’s parents didn’t let him come over anymore, not that he did much anyway. And Seth got accepted to a “boarding school” that Alex had heard whispers about. He never saw him again.

“Alex?” Julie stopped just inside her bedroom, by the door. Alex jumped up from where he was sitting by the window. Somehow, during his trip down memory lane, he’d wandered into her room, absent mindedly tapping on the bongo she had by her window.

“Ah- Sorry. Boundaries. I know.” He mumbled, putting the bongo back on her windowsill.

Julie shook her head and sat on the edge of her bed, opposite the chair Alex had found himself in.

“It’s okay. Carlos told me he heard drumming coming from in here and went to distract dad. When I didn’t see you in the studio, I just figured you went to spend Thanksgiving with Willie or checking in on your family or something.” She looked at him intensely and he shifted uncomfortably. “Are you okay?” She asked quietly and reached her hand out to rest on top of his. It slipped right through him, and he pulled away, embarrassed. Here she was, trying to be a good friend, and he was lying to her and being an anxious wreck again. He started to protest, tell her he was fine, when someone knocked on her door. Ray stuck his head in.

“Hey, niña.” He smiled at Julie. “Pizza should be ready in about ten minutes.” Julie nodded. “You did some good work today. Thanks for coming to help out.” She smiled back at her dad.

“You know it’s always been my favorite part of Thanksgiving.” She told him. Alex noticed Reggie and Luke peeking out from behind Ray. “I’ll be down in a minute.” The guys slipped through the door as Ray closed it, both standing awkwardly.

“We’re sorry, dude.” Luke started. “We kinda both forgot that Thanksgiving isn’t a great day for you.”

“I got really excited because it’s always been a good day for me. I didn’t mean to brush off your feelings.” Reggie shifted his weight from side to side. “I just really love the parade and I heard there were puppies after it now and puppies are way better than football and-“

Julie cut Reggie off. “You don’t like Thanksgiving?”

“You work on Thanksgiving?” Alex countered. He knew he was being a little short, but there was no way he could handle Julie looking at him the way other people did when they found out he was gay.

“We volunteer at Marsters House every year. We serve dinner and hang out.” She said. “And you’re avoiding the question.” Alex stiffened in his seat when Julie mentioned the word “Marsters”. Luke and Reggie went pale. Julie noticed all of it. “Please don’t tell me the Marsters’s stole music or something from you guys too.” She groaned. “It’s bad enough knowing Carrie’s dad isn’t who I thought he was, if Seth and Cory are liars too, I couldn’t handle it.”

Alex was pretty sure he was going to throw up. Could ghosts even throw up? He tried to take a few deep breaths. “Julie.” He whispered. “I need you to tell me where this place is.”

She jumped up. “No. No way. Last time you guys were upset and I told you where something was, you got sucked in by Caleb and I almost lost you to those stamps. No way!”

“We’re going and you can’t stop us!” Alex raised his voice at Julie. “Wait, what are you doing?”

Julie was grabbing her sweater. “I’m not letting you go alone. I’ll take you there. But you guys aren’t going alone!” Alex looked over at his bandmates.

“Okay.” He said.

“Dad?! I just realized I left my phone at Marsters’ House, I’m gonna go grab it!”

It sounded like the aftermath of Thanksgiving dinner from just outside the building. There was yelling at football games and possibly video games. There were lots of people inside- most of them around his age. But the man who opened the door was decidedly not his age. But it was absolutely Seth.

“I’m so sorry to bother you, but I think I may have left my phone in the kitchen?” Julie lied without a blip in her demeanor. Alex was both impressed and terrified. Looking over at Luke, Alex would be willing to guess Luke felt the same way. As they went inside, Alex knew he wouldn’t be going to the kitchen. Instead, he turned down the hall, and followed adult Seth into an office. On Seth’s desk was a photo of him with another handsome man- blond. Seth had a type.

“Alexa?” Seth said, as he settled himself down at his desk. “Play Alex’s Mixtape.” Suddenly, Whitney Houston came from the speakers. Alex couldn’t breathe. Someone grabbed his hand. Julie. She squeezed it tight.

“Thanks Seth! Happy Thanksgiving!” She yelled over her shoulder as she pulled Alex away. Reggie and Luke were waiting outside. He brushed past them for a few yards, pulling his hand free of Julie’s grasp, before having to stop. He crouched on the ground, arms wrapped around his knees, rocking back and forth as sobs ripped from his throat. He felt the rest of the band catch up, wrap their arms around him. He turned his head and sobbed into Luke’s flannel. Reggie rubbed circles on his back. After a few moments, as the sobs subsided, he realized Julie was murmuring something to him.

“Alex, it’s okay. You’re okay. We love you, and you’re okay.”

He inhaled and wiped his face and looked right at Julie.

“I’m gay.” She blinked a few times. Gave her head a little shake Looked at Reggie and Luke, who were holding their breath next to him.

“I- Was-was I not supposed to know that?” She asked.

All three boy’s jaws dropped.

“You knew?” Alex asked. “How long have you known?”

Julie shrugged. “Since like, day one? Anyway, you talk so much about Willie too, so I just assumed that-” She stopped suddenly. “Seth. You’re Seth’s Alex. Oh my god.” She stood up and took a few steps back, then started pacing. “There’s no way. None. I don’t understand.” She looked at the guys. “Seth has seen the video my dad made for Edge of Great. How did he just not notice?”

“I noticed.” A voice came from behind her. Julie whipped around. “Your dad called. Wanted to make sure we found your phone. I told him you had left already, but I figured I’d check to see how far you’d gotten. Didn’t expect you to have company.” Seth stuffed his hands into the pockets of his trousers.

“Can you see them?” Julie asked.

Seth shook his head. “No. But I mean, you’re talking to air. And it sure sounds like you’re trying to talk Alex out of an anxiety attack. Lord knows I’d done that a few times.” He got quiet for a minute. Alex stood, and walked slowly until he was face to face with Seth. He had more wrinkles around his eyes than Alex remembered, but of course. He was twenty-five years older. “Is he here?”

“Tell him I tried to take the blame.” Alex turned towards to Julie. “Please.”

She nodded. “He says he tried to take the blame. He didn’t want his parents to blame it on you.”

“I mean, I did kiss him first. Anyway, they were going to send me for conversion therapy no matter what.” Julie winced. Alex looked back and forth between Julie and Seth.

“What’s that? They sent him to a school. That’s what they told me”

“No, Alex.” Julie said quietly. “It wasn’t a school.”

Seth sighed. “Of course, that’s what they told him.” He looked at Julie and the empty space around her. “Um, where…”

“Oh! Um, A little towards your left, just kind half turn, and he’s right in front of you.”

Seth shifted and looked at Alex. “It wasn’t a school. It was a group of people who thought that, through a bunch of therapy and medical procedures, they could make me not gay anymore. Clearly, it was not successful, as I am still a flaming homosexual.” Julie giggled at that, and Alex couldn’t help but smile as he saw Seth’s face break into the familiar grin he once knew. His heart ached a little as it faded away. “I was worried they’d sent you to one too. And when I heard you had passed away from a bad hot dog, I worried- well, I was scared that it was a cover-up. That you’d… Anyway.” He trailed off. “I have no idea how you’re here. Or why. But I’m happy. I love Colby. He reminds me of you sometimes. You’d have been great friends. We met at a Whitney Houston Concert in DC when I was in college. He spilled his beer on me during I’ll Always Love You. I said you were sending me a sign.”

Alex blinked back tears. “It was the best kiss of my life.”

Julie smiled. “He said it was the best kiss of his life.” Luke pouted and crossed his arms as Julie’s eyes got wide.

“It is a long story.” Alex laughed, as he wiped away some tears.

“Want a ride home?” Seth asked Julie. “Something tells me you’ve got a lot going on.” Julie nodded.

Later that night, there was a knock at the studio door. Alex did not expect to see Julie, in her pajamas and with a blanket and pillow outside the studio.

“Hey! Are you okay?”

Julie nodded. “We’re watching a movie.” She held up a copy of The Bodyguard on DVD. “I knew my mom had a copy somewhere.”

As they snuggled on the couch, Julie’s back against Luke’s chest, her legs draped over Alex’s lap, Reggie sitting on the ground in front of them, holding Julie’s hand and leaning against Alex’s legs, he realized something.

Maybe Thanksgiving wasn’t so bad after all.

#julie and the phantoms #jatp fanfic #Alex #alex jatp #I am the cruise ship of willex #even though I gave him an OC in this #i love my dead gay son #I love my emotional support ghost band #fanfiction #Julie and the Phantoms Fanfiction #Thanksgiving

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binniedeactivated · 4 years ago

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Church Boy. ||seungseung💦

hey ya’ll since it’s taking me longer than normal to complete request pls enjoy some stray kids smut i made long ago~~

Pairing: top!seungmin bottom!jisung genre: smut word count; 2396

If we are being completely honest, nothing ever went in Jisung’s favor.

It was always, “Put your head down Jisung” or “Make sure you are reading the Bible every day Jisung”, or even worse, “Make sure you are forgiven for your sins”.

He did all of these things each and every single day but he still believed that he could never be forgiven. After all he was the biggest sin he thought himself to be.

Jisung was gay.

But who would he ever tell that to?

His father was a preacher and his mother was his advocate. They’d never understand where their son was coming from. All they knew was church and that God hated you if you were any different from them.

Luckily he has never been tempted before. Usually, his sexuality wasn’t too obvious while he was in church until the devil himself appeared in Sunday school that fateful morning. And ever since then, Jisung couldn’t stop his cravings. Not even while he was in the middle of service.

He walks into the sanctuary seeing the saints pray ferociously, he was debating on whether he should sneak off and smoke some weed while his mother prayed too. But he disposed that thought as soon as he locks eyes with his favorite blonde haired angel in the back row.

On the verge of falling asleep Jisung’s eyes flutter open fearfully at the sudden slap on his butt by some unknown figure. He glares up to view the tall bastard standing there, smiling like a complete fool before he sits right beside him.

“Ow! Why would you do that?”.

Jisung hisses with his hands still in a folded manner. It took everything in him to pretend he didn’t like it. Pretending was the only thing saving him from his father’s wrath.

“Psh. Because I want to. Are you actually praying right now?”.

“Well yeah I have to. And you should too”.

Seungmin smirks.

Seungmin declared. He used a hand to grasp a chunk of Jisung’s ass, massaging both cheeks softly. Jisung’s heart dropped to the pit of his stomach. He gulped hard and squeezed his eyes tight, swatting the younger’s hands away while trying to pray.

“It makes me think about what else you can do on them, other than pray, church boy”.

Just ignore him.

Maybe he’ll go away.

But ignoring him was so difficult when he was constantly running his hands over the fatty globes of flesh which turned Jisung on in an instant. Each time Seungmin dragged his hand to a different sector of his ass Jisung caught himself hitching a breath in between.

However Seungmin saw the boy’s diligence and became frustrated. Jisung always had a way of turning him on without doing much. He snakes his fingers in the boy’s hair and yanked it back until their eyes met.

“Are you ignoring me?”.

With a combination of pain and fear, Jisung delicately replies,

“W-we’re supposed to be praying right now. We can’t talk”.

Seungmin wanted to wreck him even more with his words but instead he grinned, thinking of a better idea.

“You’re right. We can’t. Instead I’ll show you. Shall I?”.

Seungmin releases his grip and brings himself to his knees with Jisung. He darts his eyes around, thank god the back of the church was cleared.

He presses his half hard member against the fabric on the back of Jisung’s slacks, releasing a gasp from the boy’s lips. Out of panic Jisung reaches back to grab Seungmin’s waist but nonetheless Seungmin takes Jisung’s hands and pin them against the church pew.

“Or what? I’ll be banished from church?”.

“No. No, it’s just, just the right thing to do”.

Seungmin could reply with some witty remark but he didn’t want to. He’d much rather spend his time letting his eyes graze over the boy who was more adorable than anyone he’s ever seen. The boy who always looked so cute in his church clothes, the boy who’s slacks fit way too perfectly around his ass.

Jisung cut his eyes away from the younger, trying to find something else to pray about before he became tempted. He was already flustered with the way Seungmin was checking him out.

“You look so pretty on your knees like this”.

It was now time for evening prayer. Already feeling his mother’s glare, Jisung pulls the pillow from beneath the pews to place his knees on while he prays silently, trying not to fall asleep from forbiddingly staying up too late last night. Because of this, Jisung’s special place for evening prayer was in the church’s back rows.

It didn’t take long for Satan to arrive, looking absolutely stunning in his sweater vest and white long sleeve button up with the top buttons undone. He wore a middle part in his silky hazelnut strands, and even though his mother always did her best with covering him Jisung always saw the tattoos dancing along his neck and arms.

reflected in his twitch in response to every move Seungmin made. In his short gasps for breath,“Not so fast church boy”.

“W-w-we can’t d-d-do this. My dad will kill me”.

Jisung whines but Seungmin grinds himself against Jisung’s ass once more. And god, Jisung would be lying if he said this isn’t what he wanted. He bit his lips in satisfaction. He was feeling too many emotions all at once and definitely way too fast.

“Look how hard your little ass makes me. I want to fuck you”.

Seungmin hisses in his ear with enough harshness to make Jisung’s own pants tight. He couldn’t believe the rush Seungmin’s voice gave him.

“We, we will get caught”.

“So what? By the time they catch us you will already be fucked out anyways”.

Seungmin devilishly grins again before pushing his soft wet lips on Jisung’s neck. Out of everything he loved about Jisung what got him the most was how pure the older was. This the high pitched noises he made to keep from becoming too obvious. The way his fingers drums against the wooden pew.

Sliding his lips downward Seungmin relishes at the bright red hickey behind the boy’s ear. He fishes his hand to the front of Jisung’s trousers and gives the growing bulge a good squeeze, knocking the breath right out of him. His body was so sensitive to everything that had never been done to him before and the feelings overwhelmed him entirely. All he knew was that Seungmin was incredibly hard and so was he.

Yes, he wanted to be filled but he didn’t quite know how to say that.

“Have you ever been fucked before church boy?”.

Jisung shakes his head, licking his parched lips,

“N-no”.

Seungmin takes this opportunity to shimmy down Jisung’s pants before unzipping his own. He snatched the bottle of lube out of his coat pocket and allowed the liquid to pool in the palm of his hand.

All the while Jisung couldn’t believe himself. He was always his parents little saint and here he was, about to lose his virginity in church. He didn’t have time to have feelings of regret before Seungmin dips his hand into his briefs and strokes his length with a lubricated hand. A line of shaky moans cut its way into Jisung’s throat. Seungmin began at a perfect rhythm and a perfect pace, making Jisung instinctively thrust his throbbing hard on in his hand.

The feeling was absolute bliss. Like heaven on earth he never felt anything like it but he was mesmerized. In just a few thrusts Seungmin increases in speed, being careful to conceal the squelching sound. Jisung’s lips were being bitten with a strength that could make them bleed.

“Look at you fucking yourself in my hand. Does it feel good church boy?”.

Jisung swallows,

“Y-y-yes”.

“Faster”.

Seungmin demands and with uncertainty jisung listens, slamming his waist into the fist. The sensation relieving his throbs couldn’t be tamed it was all so addicting yet so sinful.

“Like this?”.

Jisung squeals,

“Faster”

Seungmin demanded again and Jisung’s heart ran marathons in his chest. He pushes his waist forward again and makes his thrusts quicker but the feeling of Seungmin’s slimy hand around his cock unboxes another swarm of butterflies.

“Like, like this?”.

Jisung now whines now feeling a particular feeling in his gut. At this point he was going incredibly fast and if he didn’t stop he’d been in for one hard orgasm that he didn’t want anyone else in the church to hear.

“Faster”.

Jisung tries his absolute hardest but finds himself slowing down, he didn’t want to give up the moment of bliss all too fast and he could feel his throbbing tip prepared to let loose.

“I can’t, I can’t”.

Jisung wails with the tiniest throaty moans finding a home in Seungmin’s eardrum.

“Yes you can. I said go faster”.

Pursuing the demand Jisung does as he were told, letting Seungmin’s hand rub him off until cords of white shot onto the floor below them. Jisung’s stomach caved in and a wave of relief washed over him. His breathing was weighty and although he could possibly get grounded for the rest of his life, he was grateful.

But the fun didn’t end there.

Right after smearing the lubricant on Jisung’s ass Seungmin aligned the puckering hole with the tip of his member. The older gasps once again, not feeling confident that he could take it all.

“Seungmi—-“.

“Shhh. I’m going to stretch you and then you’re going to take my dick like the innocent boy you are”.

Inch by inch Seungmin teases his hole, and every single time Jisung didn’t know what the hell he was missing. Who would’ve known all this time what he needed was a good fill.

After the painful teasing that made the older’s mind spin, Seungmin is all the way in and Jisung’s body stiffens immediately at the foreign feeling.

“Relax church boy. Keep your ass up for me”.

“Y-y-our so big”.

Seungmin grins before grabbing his waist and making his first thrust. A long lewd moan escapes Jisung lips, having being so loud that Seungmin clasps a hand over the older’s mouth.

“god you are so loud for me”.

Feeling pretty prideful Seungmin gradually increases his pace. Starting slow to get him used to the feeling, now to the point where he was practically drilling him. Jisung’s nails scratches the wood underneath his elbows and he rolls his eyes to the back of his head. His hair bounces continually and his moans were just as high pitched and erotic as they wanted to be.

Seungmin loved the way Jisung’s tight hole clenched around his Rock hard member. He’d be dreaming up something like this for weeks. Finally he’s getting a chance to ruin his delicate angel. Everything about him was angelic, even down to his whiny moans. god, Seungmin could just cum at the sound of his whimpers.

“You should be ashamed of yourself you little slut getting fucked in the back of the church. What would your dad think of this hm?”.

Seungmin degrades harshly, and he’d hit Jisung’s prostate so many times that the older didn’t care anymore. The sensation running through his torso couldn’t compare to anything else on earth. He loved the way Seungmin pounded in him with absolute ease, making him feel like the whore he truly was. The whore he truly wanted to be.

“Why do you make me like this hm church boy? You got me so hard— fuck”.

Seungmin groaned in Jisung’s ear growing the older’s erection all over again. He couldn’t believe he was getting fucked like this by someone who was younger than him. Where did he learn?

Seungmin dangerously strengthens his strides sending Jisung over an edge. He wanted to scream, groan and moan as loud as he possibly could. He wanted to claw at Seungmin’s back and tell him how much he wanted to be fucked. He wanted to leave hickies on his neck. He wanted to ride him until he couldn’t stop cumming.

But their relationship was forbidden.

So Jisung sat tight and let Seungmin pound his hole senselessly until moans were no longer attainable. He was surprised the pew was still in tact with the floor. He was surprised no one was hearing them. He was a moaning mess between Seungmin’s fingers.

“Fuck you’re going to make me cum your whines

are so pretty”.

Seungmin lunges even harder chasing his own high. Jisung felt his eyes water with bliss. His cock had already been squirting the cum it could muster. He couldn’t fathom the speed of Seungmin’s waist. But all in all the younger was blessed to make him feel this way. Everything was so wrong but it never felt so right.

Seungmin slams into the younger one good time now fully reaching the older’s prostate, making Jisung cum again. He seriously felt pity for the janitor at this point, he made such a mess of himself. Seungmin grinds sluggishly slowing down, his hot liquid filling Jisung with more than he could bear.

Seungmin takes his hand off of Jisung’s mouth and the younger lays his head down trying to capture all of the deep breaths he wasn’t able to take. That was, until Seungmin thrusts his fingers in him leaving Jisung desperately clutching the arm rest until he came from oversensitivity. With no energy left, Jisung’s body draped over the pew with his strands sticking to the sweat on his forehead. Seungmin pulls the older’s bottoms back up as he zipped his own. He doesn’t hesitate to suck purpling hickies on the back of Jisung’s neck as he knew the other didn’t have the strength to fight him off anymore.

“All fucked out. I could just fuck you again but you’re lucky I have mercy”.

“Where did you learn to do that?”.

“I didn’t. You’re just so cute I wanted to ruin you”.

Jisung places his head back down trying to figure out if he was going to be able to walk correctly when he got up.

“I made you cum four times in one prayer session church boy. Let’s see if we can beat our record this Sunday”.

Seungmin hisses again. His sinful words were like venom.

A venom so sweet that Jisung couldn’t stop tasting.

He hoped god forgave him.

#straykids smut #han jisung #kim seungmin #stray kids #oldies

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legumelupin · 4 years ago

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Cake Week!

here it is! the first chapter of this story that i love so much but is ruining my life! and here it is on ao3! it’s over 11k so please enjoy

WEEK 1 — CAKE

“It’s the moment every dessert lover, every pastry lover, really any kind of bake lover has been waiting for. The tent is staked and there are 12 new bright-eyed and bushy-tailed amateur bakers ready to battle it out. These bakers are some of the finest in the United Kingdom and were hand-selected out of thousands of applicants.

“They practiced for months and months to perfect new and old skills to take on a new set of challenges. Original signatures, grueling technicals, and spectacular showstoppers that are all made to push the baker's creativity and determination to the edge. Who will come out victorious? And who will collapse under a soggy bottom?

“This season, the bakers will be judged by none other than the lovely baking queen of Scotland, Minerva McGonagall. She’s hard to impress and incredibly blunt but boy does she make spectacular ginger biscuits. Her co-judge is the man who looks great for his age and who’s palate ranges from lemon sherbert to cockroach cookies. That’s right, it’s the ever-serene Albus Dumbledore. But the bakers had better watch out, our dear Dumbly isn’t afraid to shatter hopes and dreams. And as always, this season will be hosted by myself, Horace “Sluggy” Slughorn, and the large and in charge, Rubeus Hagrid.

“For their first week, our brand new bakers will have to overcome the woes of cake week. That means avoiding dry sponges, merengues that aren’t whipped properly, and batter that is over’werked’ as our dear Minerva would say.

“Welcome to Season 7 of the Great British Bake Off!”

Remus tied the apron around his waist, his hands shaking uncontrollably as he was still processing where exactly he was. He was in The Tent! The people in charge of the Great British Bake Off chose his application as one of the ones to be a part of the next season. Him! Remus John Lupin! What the fuck? What were they thinking? What was he thinking? He had let his mother convince him into applying, citing his bread and his knack for precision as qualities that could help him. He just never thought he would be here, ever. But he was!

He took a look around, noting all the cameras and feeling his stomach start to twist itself into a knot a bit. Oh gods, what in the world was he thinking? He’d be on TV and chances are he’d make a fool of himself for everyone to see! He thought of the day the camera crew had shown up to his family’s small cottage just outside of Cardiff. He had been maybe even more nervous then than he was now considering how intimate the whole ordeal was. They just followed him around for a few hours and had him hang in the kitchen with his mother while his father sat at the counter reading the paper. They followed him to his job at a bookshop just inside of town and he talked about his dream to go to university to study literature. If he didn’t think too hard about it, being in The Tent didn’t seem so bad anymore.

And then one of the Minerva McGonagall and Albus Dumbledore walked in. Gods, he wished he packed a joint in his bag for after. Or even his pack of cigs. He was going to need it afterward judging by how hard his legs were shaking. He looked to the workstation across from him and found a woman with long, red hair and he remembered her vaguely from the little mingling session the producers of the show hosted for contestants the day before. Remus did his best to socialize but he mostly kept to himself, thinking about the book that was waiting for him on his train ride home. But looking at her now, she was hard not to remember with hair like that and green eyes that pierce him even from the distance he’s at.

She caught his eye and offered him a kind smile that he returned easily, feeling a bit better. He could see the worry lines etched on the side of her mouth. Honestly, Remus should have been paying more attention to the competition if he wanted to win but he’d been so inside his head that he didn’t even remember any of their names let alone what they looked like. All he remembered from the night before was the piercing blue eyes of Albus Dumbledore and the raucous laughter of Rubeus Hagrid. He was so shell-shocked that all he could do was tell himself not to panic and have a drink with a few of the other contestants that he didn’t remember the names of.

But now, here he was, smiling at the girl with flaming red hair, waiting for the camera crew to give the cue for them to start. They’d gotten the opening shots with all the new bakers lined up outside the tent and all of them walking into the tent for the first time. Remus was almost positive that his gaze was downcast the entire time. It was almost like he was asking to leave on the first episode but in reality, he did really want to win. He was terrified and an anxious disaster. But he was a terrified and anxious disaster with a passion to win.

“Psst, hey!” a voice whispered behind him and Remus raised an eyebrow, turning his head to find the most gorgeous man his bisexual eyes have ever seen. Remus suppresses a groan. Why did Gorgeous-Man have to get his attention before the first task? As if it wasn’t going to be hard enough before, all Remus would be able to think about now were those stormy grey eyes and long, very soft-looking black hair. He would definitely overbake his sponge.

Sirius Black was very nervous. He was incredibly proud of himself for making it onto the show but he was also still in disbelief. Even when he was standing at his workstation for their first bake of cake week, he didn’t believe he was actually going to be on his favorite TV show. The night before hadn’t done anything to soothe his nerves or let him know that this was actually real but he did meet a really wonderful bloke by the name of James Potter who was also a contestant on the show. They hit off on their first interaction and hit the pub right after the little event had ended. Sirius felt he’d made a friend forever in the guy.

“Hey man, this is crazy right?” a brown-skinned guy with unruly black hair and kind, hazel eyes said, gesturing to the large white tent that was just down the hill from the little area of the grounds the newest contestants were all gathered in. He looked to be around Sirius’s age. “Never thought I’d be here but I guess they liked my application enough even though I made a complete fool of myself,” the guy snorted and Sirius raised an eyebrow.

“I suppose they just wanted a village fool and they thought you’d do the best job,” Sirius snarked and the guy looked affronted but to the point of mocking him.

“You say that as if it isn’t a high honor, young sir!” the man proclaimed and Sirius cracked a grin.

“I have to say, kind fellow, I’m going to put up a hell of a fight to be crowned the title of fool before you,” Sirius jested back and the guy laughed heartily.

“I’m James Potter,” he extended his hand and Sirius took it in his own.

“Sirius,” the pale male answered and James quirked an eyebrow but didn’t let go of his hand.

“Course I’m serious, why would I lie about my name?” James asked and Sirius snorted.

“No, I’m Sirius,” he replied and James just leveled him with a small glare.

“About what, mate? You haven’t even said anything,” James shot back and Sirius rolled his eyes.

“No, you oaf. My fucking name is Sirius,” he laughed and James’s face fell for a second before it broke out into a large grin.

“That’s right funny, Sirius. You can make a lot of jokes with that,” James smiled and Sirius laughed.

“Just did, mate,” Sirius remarked and James didn’t stop grinning.

“Wanna grab a pint after this?” James asked and Sirius knew. He just knew. This guy was gonna be his best friend after this night.

“Sounds like a plan to me. I’d get out of here right now if it weren’t the set of fucking Bake Off,” Sirius murmured and James grinned at him again.

“Is someone nervous?”

“As if you aren’t. Or I suppose you’re too daft to feel nervous.”

“Oi! Now that’s just rude!”

“You didn’t even understand when I introduced myself!”

“Your name is fucking Sirius! Pardon me for not knowing very many people named after celestial bodies!”

“Well, you’re pardoned! Happy?”

“Incredibly, good sir!”

They hit the pub together after the party as promised and got properly shitfaced and Sirius was sure that he would want to remember that night forever. Bake Off was already getting his mind off his shit life but this bloke, this James Potter, seemed to be a forever friend.

James was sat at the station on Sirius’s right and they kept glancing at each other. Both would be lying if they said they weren’t nursing a bit of a hangover which is not ideal considering it was their first day on the set of a baking TV show that would be broadcasted all over England. James pointed to the woman who sat in front of him and made a face at Sirius that indicated that he was absolutely smitten with this woman. He’d never even talked to her. Sirius rolled his eyes and shook his head. James glared at him and stuck out his tongue, and then feigned absolute hurt when Sirius didn’t change the look on his face.

Sirius could only roll his eyes again but with a smile this time. He turned his attention to the guy sitting in front of him who was wearing a sweater that was definitely not appropriate for this fucking disgusting weather. Sirius knew it wasn’t his place to say shit to the guy but holy fucking hell it was as hot as Satan’s balls out! So, like a typical Black (and he was well aware of his cousin’s presence in the tent which was kind of crazy but he tried not to think too hard about it), he said something.

“Psst, hey!” he whispered loudly and thankfully, the guy heard him and turned around briefly. Sirius’s gay panic went haywire at that moment. He forgot about the sweater all at once and was stuck between a sea of honey brown and a forest of glorious summer green and freckled cheeks with a couple of faint scars running across a beautiful nose. He had fucking freckles and heterochromia. Oh gods, he was toast. Pun intended.

“Yeah?” the guy asked, his voice sounded strained. How had Sirius not seen him last night? Or this morning? Was he seriously so far up James’s ass and happy to have a friend that he didn’t even notice this hot string bean amongst the ten other contestants? Yes, yes he was. But that wasn’t an excuse!

“Oh, um, I was just… Mate, how the hell are you wearing that thing right now?” Sirius asked incredulously and the man’s face fell to be quickly unimpressed.

“I've been cold on the inside since I’ve been ten,” he deadpanned and Sirius raised an eyebrow at him. “Basically I’m depressed,” he continued after before making to turn back front.

“Wait, you’re not even gonna tell me your name Mr. I- Wear -a -Sweater -in -the -Dead -of -Summer?” Sirius quipped and the guy actually managed a smile. Sirius groaned internally. No one should be allowed to look that hot!! And he was just fucking smiling!! At this rate, Sirius couldn’t even bring himself to think about fucking cake (unless it was this guy’s cake, if you know what he’s saying. Wink wink).

“Remus Lupin. Care to tell me yours? Mr. I-Have-No-Manners-and-Can’t-Recognized-a-Depressed-Bastard?” the guy snarked back, not losing the amused look on his beautiful face.

Sirius barked out a laugh causing the other contestants to look over to them and Sirius feared of being shushed so he quickly said, “Sirius Black.”

Remus nodded at him, a small smile still piquing on his lips before turning back around. And finally, the set fucking called for action. Now, what was the cake he’d been practicing for weeks?

Marlene McKinnon was an absolute ball of nerves and it was obvious to everyone around them, too. They couldn’t sit still. One minute they were bouncing their leg up and down, another they were wringing their hands, another their fingers were twisting around their long chestnut brown ponytail, and another minute they were braiding that ponytail. But before they knew it, Sluggy and Hagrid were welcoming all of them to Cake Week and giving the prompt, which they already knew, before the legendary send-off:

“On your marks,” said Hagrid.

“Get set!” Sluggy cheered.

“BAKE!” they both rang out together and it was like Marlene blacked out.

Their adrenaline took over and they raced around her work station, grabbing sugar, eggs, and flour for their orange zest angel food cake. Their workstation was one of the first two from the tent’s entrance which they were honestly thankful for because that meant the judging and hosting teams came to them first. And they wanted as little distractions as possible.

“Marlene, what kind of angel food cake are you making for us today?” Sluggy asked, peering around her workstation. They looked up and saw the calculating gaze of Albus Dumbledore on their batter in the mixer and the stern eyes of Minerva McGonagall boring into their own. Their knees wobbled and they fought to keep themself upright. Minerva was an inspiration for them and now the woman was going to be judging their bakes.

“Oh, um.. I’m going to be making an orange zest angel food cake with chocolate glaze and fresh whipped cream,” they said while trying to keep their voice from shaking.

“Sounds quite lovely,” Albus said serenely.

“Yes, I expect a strong orange flavor in your cake,” Minerva insisted curtly but with a small peak of a smile.

“Of course! I hope it comes through,” Marlene smiled and they knew that this was where her little introduction would be placed in post-production of the show. The production crew followed them around Cambridge and talked about how they worked as a physician's assistant for a nephrologist and lived with their two cats.

They were quite happy with their life at the moment, they kept up with their family who didn’t live that far away and their job was fulfilling. But they were a hopeless romantic and were on the lookout for a lovely lady to woo or for one to woo them.

They glanced around their station once the judges and hosts moved on and caught the eye of a dark-skinned girl named Dorcas Meadowes that they met yesterday along with a red-head named Lily Evans and another woman with mousy brown hair named Alice. Dorcas gave them a small smile before turning back to her own bake and Marlene felt their cheeks heat up a bit and really hoped no cameras were pointed at them.

The bakers had two hours for the first bake of the season and Marlene thought everything was going well. Their egg whites whipped up well, they zested many oranges, everything seemed to be going alright. They couldn’t say the same for the man across from them. He had long blond hair and a permanent sneer on his face that said he thought he was better than everyone. Marlene remembered him from the night before and rolled their eyes then just like they were rolling them now.

He fucked up his egg whites it seemed like and was obviously disgruntled as the camera crew moved to his station for what kind of angel cake he was making. Marlene marked him as a weak link in their head but they didn’t dwell on it too long as their egg whites weren’t yet stiff peaks. They kept beating them.

Marlene was a whirlwind of movements for the next hour and a half until Hagrid announced they all had a half-hour left and they felt absolutely overwhelmed despite actually being in a pretty good place in their bake. Their sponge was cooling and it looked well-baked but not over baked, their chocolate glaze was almost ready and all they had left was their whipped cream and to slice some oranges as a garnish.

“Looks like he broke your focus,” the woman behind Marlene’s station smirked but not unkindly.

“Oh, uh yeah,” Marlene answered with a breathy laugh.

“Sorry if that was weird, you’re just in front of me and you’ve been in the zone the entire time. It’s admirable, I hope it’s all going well for you,” the woman smiled sweetly and Marlene smiled back at her. They noticed all around the tent, bakers were conserving and bantering with each other and they hadn’t said a word since the very beginning.

“No, it’s not weird and thank you. I hope it’s going well for you too, this is all so scary,” Marlene answered and the woman smiled at them more. She didn’t seem too much older but she was definitely on the older side of the contestants. Almost everyone else looked to be Marlene’s age.

“Yeah but think about it, if you didn’t deserve to be here, you wouldn’t be,” she reminded Marlene and the person nodded. “I’m Andromeda, by the way. It’s nice to meet you and hopefully, there’ll be a friendly face around here over the next few weeks, assuming I make it through,” she said softly and Marlene nodded again.

“I’m Marlene, it’s good to meet you too,” they answered before turning back to their bake, making sure their chocolate glaze wasn’t burning or anything.

There was a minute left before they could even realize and their cake was glazed, their whipped cream was cold and sitting like a cloud atop the cake, and they were just finishing slicing their oranges. They chanced a glance up and around and saw the blond man across from them struggling. His sponge looked overdone and his lemon glazed looked too runny. They could only hope that the orange was strong enough in their cake to compete with their chocolate glaze and cut through it.

“Bakers, time is up! Please step away from your bakes and move your Angel Food cakes to the end of your table!” Sluggy called out to the group and almost simultaneously, everyone out down what they were doing and stepped back. Marlene was satisfied with how their cake looked, they really only wanted it to taste good now. They took a look around at everyone else’s.

Sirius had dried batter on his face and his usually pristine hair was rather disheveled but his angel food cake looked delicious, at least in his eyes. It was a vanilla sponge with a sweet cranberry sauce running down the sides with strawberries on top. He looked forward at Mr. Remus Lupin’s cake and groaned. His looked fucking delicious and it looked like he made a chocolate angel cake sponge? The fucking drama of this guy! He looked over at James who looked very proud of his key lime pie inspired back and he had to admit it was impressive.

“We got this in the bag,” the man whispered-shouted across the way, his arms crossed proudly over his chest. The girl in front of him who he was gaping at two hours ago turned and gave him a slightly disgusted look and he noticed and grinned at her. “Like what you see?”

“Aha, you wish,” she sneered and Sirius decided she wasn’t his favorite person. What was her deal? Sure James was a little cocky but so what?

“Oh come on, Red. You don’t think my sponge looks good?” he asked with an easy grin and the girl rolled her eyes before facing forward. Judging was starting.

Remus’s internal panic alarms were ablaze. He was proud of his bake for sure but it wasn’t up to his usual standard in his opinion. There was a good chance the sponge was dry on his vanilla one and his chocolate one had a very good chance of being underbaked. His pastry cream was set well enough but he was nervous all the same. All he could hope for was that it tasted better than how he imagined it did.

He watched Albus and Minerva make the rounds with Hagrid by their side from behind him. They were tasting a greasy-haired guy’s cake and they seemed kind of meh with it like it didn’t do anything special for them and from what he could tell, it was just a normal sponge with some powdered sugar and strawberries on top.

“I’d like to see more,” Minerva said, a tone of disappointment in her voice. The guy just gritted his teeth and nodded shortly before turning to look forward.

The judges moved onto the guy in front of the one they just judged who’d been talking to Sirius just a minute ago. He looked very proud and boastful of his bake and with good reason it seemed as the judges loved it and the guy who was judged first seethed very visibly, glaring daggers at the back of Sirius’s friend’s head. But Remus’s view was obscured when the judges crossed over to Sirius’s station. He could hear everything they were saying.

“Right, Sirius my boy, this is vanilla angel food cake with cranberry sauce, right?” Albus asked and Sirius nodded while chewing his lip. He was fucking hot when he chewed his lip. Gods, Remus was so fucking bent for this guy and he had one conversation with him if it could’ve even been counted as a conversation. And he was a dick during the whole thing! How could he be a dick to the one attractive guy who’s talked to him in months? Remus held back a sigh as Minerva and Albus tasted Sirius’s cake.

“Hm, that is scrummy. The cranberry is sharp and tart which is an excellent contrast to the sweetness of your sponge,” Minerva attested and Sirius’s face broke out into a smile. It was radiant and Remus never wanted him to stop.

“Yes this is delicious, thank you,” Albus commented, giving a slow nod to Sirius.

“Thank you,” he said softly, the smile never melting off his face.

As Minerva and Dumbledore moved onto the person behind Sirius with Hagrid, Remus caught Sirius’s attention. “Nice one! Looks great,” he smiled and if it were possible, Sirius’s smile grew even bigger. Remus’s heart clenched because he made that happen.

“Thanks, mate! Yours looks really good, a chocolate angel food cake is impressive,” Sirius whispered back and Remus flashed him a smile this time.

“Thanks!”

Remus faced forward again and waited for the judges to come to his station with a large amount of anxiety that grew with every second. He resisted the urge to bite his fingernails to shreds as he knew the cameras were still around and taking shots of people other than those who had the judges at their table. But Remus needn’t wait very long as the next person they came to was him. He sat up straighter when Hagrid addressed him.

“Remus, what have you made fer the judges t’day?” he asked and Remus swallowed loudly.

“Uh, it’s alternating chocolate and vanilla angel food cake with pastry cream in between the layers, topped with fresh whipped cream,” he said quickly but his voice didn’t waver thankfully. He was a mess.

“It looks very neat and your pastry cream seems to have set very nicely. Quite ambitious for the first bake of the season, let’s just hope you pulled it off,” Minerva remarked but there was a shine in her eyes.

“Yes, I hope I did too,” he said softly as they cut into his sponges and took a piece onto the plate set in front.

“The vanilla sponge looks well baked,” Albus commented, tapping his fork lightly over it. “But I fear you may have misjudged the timing for your chocolate sponge, it appears a bit underdone,” he remarked and Remus nodded. He figured. “Best to try it.”

The two judges put a piece of his cake into their mouths and looked thoughtful for a moment. “These flavors are wonderful. And it’s quite a feat that you got your chocolate sponge to rise and still have such a profound flavor. The pastry cream is a nice texture too,” Minerva commented and Remus smiled at her.

“Yes, this is very good indeed however your chocolate sponge is underbaked,” Albus continued and Remus nodded.

“Right, sorry about that,” he murmured.

“This is a very fine cake you have, Remus,” Albus finished and Remus tipped his head in thanks.

“I’ll jus’ be taking a piece o’ that,” Hagrid said sneakily, taking a piece of chocolate sponge with him and Remus snickered, gesturing for him to take as much as he pleased.

“Oi, mate, that’s amazing!” Sirius whispered from behind him and Remus turned to face him, both of them wearing dazed and happy smiles. Honestly, it went better than Remus had expected it to go for their first bake and he felt ready for the technical, though he didn’t want to be too cocky just yet.

When the judges got around to that bloke Lucius, the one across from Marlene, they couldn’t help but roll their eyes despite the large number of nerves setting their entire body on fire. Oh gods, they were the last to be judged and from what they were hearing, the majority of the others had done really well. The bar was too high!! Too high!! Marlene wished they were high right about now but instead they had to listen to Minerva and Albus be disappointed with the blond git’s bake. At least that was something positive for them. They had heard high praises for Lily and Dorcas’ bakes and they really enjoyed Alice’s flavors. Marlene thought for a second that Andromeda was going to get a Minerva McGonagall handshake and here they were with just a plain old orange-flavored sponge and some chocolate sauce.

They barely even registered when Hagrid addressed them due to never-ending nerves but stood up straight once they realized, watching Minerva and Albus inspect their sponge.

“Looks to be a very good bake and the chocolate has a beautiful shine to it,” Albus remarked and Marlene smiled a bit.

“Yeah let’s just hope the orange came through,” Minerva replied before putting her fork in her mouth. “And it does,” she added immediately after. “Beautifully, too,” she continued and Marlene’s shoulders sagged in relief.

“That’s a very lovely sponge you have there,” Albus praised and Marlene grinned at him.

“Thank you,” they said quietly and the group moved away.

There was a flurry of movements but they were told to leave the tent so they could prepare for the technical and so the camera crew could get a few testimonials from the contestants. They called out a few names of who they wanted.

“Lucius Malfoy, Severus Snape, Remus Lupin, and Alice Fortesque,” one of the crew members shouted. “Everyone else, please exit the tent. You may wonder the grounds and enjoy something from the buffet but you are due back in a half-hour for the next bake!”

Marlene hurried out of the tent and into the fresh air, feeling as though they were able to breathe for the first time that morning. Gods, if that was what it was going to be like for the next ten weeks, they didn’t know if they could make it! That was one bake and they were already knackered! They would really need to pack a joint with them for their travels back home if that’s what it was going to be like.

“Hey, Marls! Where’re you headed?” a voice that she recognized as Dorcas shouted from a few meters away. They looked up and saw the dark-skinned girl with pale-skinned Lily by her side, both with wide smiles and welcoming hand gestures.

“Nowhere in particular!” they called back as they headed to join them on their walk.

They talked and gossiped about the first challenge. Lily ranted about the guy behind her, James Potter, being an absolute git who was too cocky for his own good. And while she did sound truly exasperated by this man, Marlene could also tell she fancied him even if it was just a bit. Lily didn’t seem like the type to appreciate being told this though so Marlene kept a tight-lip and settled for exchanging knowing glances with Dorcas who couldn’t hold back the smirk from her face. Gods, Marlene was absolutely smitten with that look and they couldn't even admit to themself. They wouldn’t be surprised if the word hypocrite was emboldened on their tanned forehead.

Sirius was a bit bummed that Remus got called for a testimonial. Not that he wanted to give one or anything but he was hoping he could drag the guy along with him and James during their break. James was great company though, he always had something to say and it was usually hysterical. It’s only been 24 hours since meeting the guy but it felt like they’d been friends since secondary school, if not before.

“Hey, mate, you there?” James’ voice filtered into Sirius’s thoughts and he snapped his head towards the man.

“Huh?” he managed gracefully.

“I said that bloke sitting in front of you seemed pretty cool,” James repeated, not letting on if he noticed Sirius blatantly ignoring him for a minute.

“Oh, Remus?” Sirius perked up causing James’s eyebrows to raise by a fraction before shrugging.

“I suppose if that’s his name,” he jabbed and Sirius laughed a laugh that sounded to be that of a bark. James quite enjoyed it and thought it fit Sirius’s persona perfectly.

“It is. And yeah, he’s very cool. Talked with him for a bit before we started,” Sirius insisted and James quirked a smile.

“Wanna grab a nightcap tonight? We can invite this Remus character as well,” James offered and Sirius’s eyes shone brightly. He couldn’t help it. Remus was cute.

“Yeah, sure! Sounds great to me, honestly anything to stay away from home for the night is good for me,” Sirius grinned.

“Well if that’s the case, then you’ll just have to get too drunk to go home Mr. Black, causing me to insist you stay the night at my place so I can be sure you don’t sick up in your mouth and choke on it,” James grinned and Sirius grinned back. They looked like a right pair of scoundrels right then even if they had no intention of getting drunk enough to even feel their cheeks grow warm. They had the blasted show-stopper tomorrow! They couldn’t make fools of themselves just because they had a pint too many!

“Is that a challenge Mr. Potter?” Sirius poked and James laughed.

“Is that how you see it?”

“Perhaps.”

“I think you mean mayhaps,” James corrected and Sirius snorted.

“You’re fucking weird, Potter. That something you learned in Godric’s Hollow, some posh lingo or whatever?” Sirius taunted playfully and James scoffed.

“You’re one to talk about bloody posh, mate. Sirius Black, named after a fucking star and grew up in rich London. I look like a right plebeian standing next to you. I might as well get down on my knees and kiss your—“

“Alright, alright, you can shut it now.”

“Eh, didn’t go too far did I?”

“Absolutely not, you prick. I’m just annoyed you refuse to acknowledge your own poshness, even if it’s more eccentric and fucking loony.”

“I’m not loony.”

“You just told me to say mayhaps.”

“As a joke!”

“Uh-huh, I’m sure.”

“You better watch your tongue, Sirius Black, I’m not afraid to tell on you to Minerva McGonagall! We’re close personal friends!” Sirius erupted into laughter and James followed suit. The break didn’t seem to last long enough.

Remus stood back at his station rather disgruntled despite having gotten high remarks from the judges. But the attitudes of the two other guys chosen were just abysmal and Remus did not feed well off of negative energy. Thankfully, the girl Alice was an absolute sweetheart and he managed to occupy his waiting time talking with her and ignoring the two other assholes. However, when Alice went to give her shpiel on the first bake, he was left alone with Lucius Malfoy and Severus Snape, neither of which displayed any kindness.

“That old bat doesn’t know what she’s talking about,” Lucius had snarled.

“Neither of them can appreciate true artistry,” Severus had implored and Remus rolled his eyes but his ears burned as the man continued, “Praising an underbaked chocolate sponge. How very soft. I suppose they feel bad with all those scars. Paints a very interesting picture.”

“Hmph, I have to agree. And with all the praise for that brown skin and that black girl,” Lucius had sneered. Remus could tolerate slander directed at him but he drew the line at any kind of racism.

“Hey, you better shut the fuck up,” Remus snarled as he turned around. “To be quite honest I couldn’t give a damn about your bitterness towards the judging but don’t go blaming it on others and don’t you dare bring anyone’s race into this. They have just as much of a right as you or I do and the fact they’re better than you makes you feel inferior. Well, I got news for you mate. You are inferior. And if I ever hear you badmouthing anyone for their race, I will fucking slug you where you stand,” he bit out quietly and without wavering. “Fucking trash,” he gritted out, spitting at Lucius’s feet and glaring at Severus before turning back to ignore them.

The pair behind him continued their conversation much more quietly then and Remus failed to hear any of it but it wasn’t too much longer before Alice came back and Lucius left. She could sense his anger but didn’t ask him about, choosing instead to ask about what he did for a living.

So there he stood, his arms tightly crossed over his chest, glaring daggers into the back of Lucius Malfoy’s head, waiting for the hosts and the judges to arrive, signaling the start of their first technical challenge.

“Psst, Remus,”.said a voice behind him and he really thought about ignoring the guy just because he was in a foul mood. But he relented anyway because he had a feeling that Sirius wouldn’t stop calling out to him until he answered. He turned.

“What?”

“Wanna grab a pint with me and James after we wrap up for the day?” he asked with a brilliant smile and expectant eyes. His heart melted a bit at the sight and he smiled softly. It took him a minute to register what the guy had asked him and then he felt his cheeks flush. He was asking him to hang out after? Him? Remus Lupin?

“James?” Remus asked without thinking or hesitating and Sirius pointed his thumb over to the guy at the station across the way. The man called James smiled a brilliant smile and waved enthusiastically. Remus snorted.

“Sure,” he answered with an easy smile before turning back forward to hide his burning cheeks. He managed to catch a glimpse of Sirius’s own burning cheeks though and the thought made him warm inside.

The technical was a disaster. At least it was for Sirius. He couldn’t be sure about anyone else but he was sure he fucked up his bake beyond repair. All his good graces from the signature challenge would go out the window because he would surely be crowned twelfth place and he would have to claw his way through the ashes during the showstopper just to stay in the competition past the first week. He was embarrassed and he was annoyed with himself for cracking under pressure. Surely he could’ve handled twelve miniature tres leches cakes, right? But no, not at all apparently! His whipped cream was running, his sponges well weak and didn’t hold well after being doused in milk and to top it off, he cut his finger when slicing the strawberries! No one was having a worse time than him, surely.

Except for maybe Marlene McKinnon who was almost in tears at how everything was turning out. How could it be that only an hour ago they were making perfect whipped cream and now it just wouldn’t stiffen? They were on their third attempt and there was only five minutes left in the challenge so if it didn’t work then, they would be serving naked, milky sponges and they absolutely loathed the sound of that. They beat their whipping cream and sugar harder.

Remus Lupin felt oddly calm during the technical. His sponge came out well or so it appeared and he had no way of testing it, his milk concoction was mixed well and his whipped cream wasn’t grainy. All was well at station Remus and he was quite proud of himself although he doesn’t have the self-confidence to believe he’d place even in the top three. But he was still proud of himself.

“Alright bakers, that’s the end of your first technical, if you could, please bring your tres leches up to the Gingham altar and place them behind your visage!” Sluggy proclaimed and everyone seemed to take a collective breath as they stepped back for the first time since starting. Thankfully, Remus had just finished setting his last strawberry atop his cakes and couldn’t help but be pleased as he brought up his platter to the front. He was seventh in the judging so he’d have to wait for Albus and Minerva to get to his bake but he didn’t seem to mind actually was a nice change of events from this morning. He began to fear that his lack of anxiety would be his downfall though and that he’d be taken by surprise and his tres leches would actually be terrible and his sponge would be cracked and dry.

He sat in an odd mixture of fear and calm. But he was sat next to Sirius so that was nice. Sirius looked upset and Remus searched for his photo which was second from the start and frowned. They certainly weren’t the prettiest but they didn’t look awful and as long as they tasted good, he would be fine.

“It’ll be alright, mate,” Remus whispered, trying to sound encouraging and Sirius just shrugged. Remus risked it. He took Sirius’s hand and held it. Yes, he was attracted to the man but also they were in this together. As much as Bake Off was a competition, they were still fighting the same battles and Remus would hate to see Sirius feel alone during this. Luckily, Sirius held on.

“Right,” Minerva said, catching their attention and looking over the bakes with scrutiny. “Let’s see how they did, shall we?” she asked, gesturing to the first bake which was behind the photo of a man Remus had never talked to.

They seemed to enjoy it enough but remarked that the cakes weren’t milky enough and Remus had to stop from blanching at the term used. Milky. Ew. Gross. But they moved onto Sirius’s and the man held Remus’s hand tighter.

“These look a little… disordered,” Albus said serenely. “But hopefully the flavor is good,” he continued as he and Minerva put a piece in their mouths and immediately hummed in delight.

“Quite delicious,” Minerva remarked and Albus nodded in agreement as they moved onto the next bake which was Severus fucking Snape’s.

They didn’t like it. Good.

Next was the red-headed woman across from Remus and they really seemed to like it, stating it almost near perfection. Next came a brown-haired woman that Sirius’s hand tensed at when they got to it, causing Remus to frown. He hadn’t seen the man interact with that woman at all. Interesting.

After the brown-haired woman (Remus should really learn all their names), they moved onto the black woman who was stationed in front of Remus and they also really enjoyed hers, and then it was Remus. He gripped Sirius’s hand a bit tighter.

“They all look very neat which is good, let’s just hope they taste as good,” Minerva remarked as she put a bite in her mouth, Albus following suit. They hummed in approval.

“Quite delicious,” Albus remarked. “This one is going to be hard to judge I can see,” he continued and Remus had to school his face from beaming. But Sirius gripped his hand tighter which made Remus squeeze back.

James was after Remus and he did well but he had thirteen inside of twelve. (Sirius thought James would say something like ‘Well I should get extra points, right? It could’ve been eleven instead of thirteen.’ Sirius would have replied, ‘I think you’re just shit at maths, mate.’) A tanned girl with chestnut brown hair was after James and like Sirius, they looked very messy but the flavor was good.

“The cream is a bit too runny for my taste,” Albus commented and Remus sighed. This is not easy for anyone and it was only going to get harder. Minerva and Albus were picky.

They moved onto Lucius’s which weren’t even topped with whipped cream which made Remus smirk, and then they headed onto Alice who’s were satisfactory it seemed. And they ended with another guy who appeared slightly mousy and even his picture on the altar conveyed a strong sense of panic. He did what Remus would describe as a ‘meh’ job.

And then the judging. Remus kept waiting for his name and he held onto Sirius’s hand tightly and he couldn’t tell who was sweating more. Unsurprisingly, Lucius was last, then Severus, the mousy-looking boy, named Peter, was tenth, followed by the person with the chestnut brown hair, named Marlene, was ninth, followed by the first guy, Frank, then Alice, the woman that made Sirius tense up was named Andromeda and she was sixth. Sirius tensed up again and stayed that way when he was announced to be fifth.

“Sirius, overall a good set of bakes, just a bit of a mess,” Albus noted and Sirius smiled with a nod.

James was fourth and then came the top three which hadn't registered yet that Remus was in. But he quickly realized as Sirius squeezed his hand tightly and Remus held his breath.

“In third, is this one,” Minerva said, gesturing to the bake with the photo of the redhead who’s station was across from Remus’s. “Lily, a really good bake the sponge could be just a bit wetter.”

“These two were really hard to decide between, it was a really a toss up but in second is this one,” Albus stated and Remus raised his hand. Second in the technical! What the fuck! Is this the same Remus he woke up as this morning?

“So that means Dorcas, you are first,” Minerva smiled at the woman’s who station was in front of Remus and Lily leant forward to congratulate her and so did the guy named Frank. She was shocked.

Remus, Dorcas, Snape, and Lucius all got called for testimonials and again, Sirius was bitter. They had a few more things to film just to wrap up the day but either way, he was going to get a pint with Remus and James. But gods, what a day! He had a pretty good signature and he did well in the technical! And he made friends with the hot guy who sat in front of him! Maybe Bake Off is exactly what Sirius needed to turn his life around and to start actually living happily and not in his family’s shadow. It’s only been two days and he already feels like a different person and as long as he doesn’t muck everything up with the showstopper, he feels pretty confident he’ll make it to the next week.

He was packing up his things and also taking out some things he would be using for biscuit week next week just as preparation when Remus finally came back over. “Hey, mate! You did bloody amazing!” Sirius said happily and Remus beamed at him.

“Thanks, Sirius! You did really well, too!” he answered and Sirius grinned.

“Oi, Remus! Remus Lupin!” shouted a voice from across the tent. It was the redhead Lily that James was absolutely smitten with already.

“What?” he asked, his face neutral as she stomped over to him, an unreadable expression clouding her face.

“You and Dorcas, are you two some kind of wizards or something?” she asked, sniffing afterward and Remus grinned at her.

“What, jealous?” he asked, poking a bit of fun but the reddening of his cheeks was absolutely noticeable and Sirius smiled carefully to himself as he watched the exchange.

“Jealous? Me? Absolutely not,” she scoffed. But she smiled after. “Congratulations, you and her seem really fantastic at baking.”

“Hey, you do too,” he answered softly and she smiled at him.

“Yeah well, I was only complimenting you to make you more comfortable so you’d let your guard down,” she shrugged and Sirius watched Remus roll his eyes.

The two of them almost seemed like him and James in the sense that they immediately hit it off. There was no bite behind their words or actions, they were just banting with each other. Sirius felt a green ugly monster want to rear its head in the back of his mind but he quickly shut the door on it. He did not know Remus and he certainly did not know if he was even into blokes. Sure they held hands during the judging of the technical but it was just a high stakes situation. It didn’t mean anything.

“You’re Welsh, aren’t you?” she asked him and Sirius saw the honey-haired man nod out of the corner of his eye. “Could tell from the accent, eh. Well, I’m from Cokeworth, you know in the midlands. I reckon the train comes by both our stops so if you want a friendly face to sit by tomorrow, just shoot me a text. And maybe we could grab a quick cuppa in town before shooting in the morning,” she offered and Remus seemed to light up at the suggestion. It left a warm feeling spreading in his chest.

“That’d be nice! Here, let me give you my number,” Remus answered and both of them pulled out their phones, exchanging numbers and laughed.

“I’m gonna name you Wolf McWolf in my phone,” Lily snorted and Remus playfully glared at her.

“Uncalled for, ginger,” Remus shot back. “Just for that, you will be Little Red to me,” he grinned deviously and she scoffed back at him.

“Hey, there chums!” James’s booming voice interrupted and Sirius was grateful. He was growing tired of watching the two of them flirt or whatever. Yes, he was bitter. Yes, he was a petulant child sometimes. It came with the territory, he was used to getting what he wanted and he wanted Remus. Gods, he’s a mess.

“Ugh, you,” Lily sneered but there was no real malice behind it, Sirius noted. “What is it that you want?”

“The lads and I were going to grab a pint when we wrapped up here. I suppose you wouldn’t want to join us, Evans?” James inquired, his eyes shining brightly and when she snorted, his face fell a bit.

“Not tonight, we have the showstopper tomorrow. It’s rather immature of you to get a drink after today, you couldn’t wait till tomorrow?” she pointed out and James shrugged.

“We could also go tomorrow if you wanted to join then,” the brown-skinned boy offered eagerly and Lily tried to stop the smile from growing on her face.

“Well, we’ll see four eyes. If the three of you make it through tomorrow, then I will think about grabbing a drink with you lot,” she snorted and James was back to full-on grinning.

“Oh I think she’s challenging us, mate,” Sirius finally remarked, glancing over at his new friend who nodded solemnly.

“It would appear so, perhaps tonight we should practice one more time at my place,” James offered and Sirius couldn’t tell if he was serious or joking.

“Alright, everyone! That’s a wrap! See you all bright and early tomorrow! 8 am sharp!” Sluggy called and all of the contestants broke apart and finished getting everything ready for tomorrow. And then he headed out with his new best friend and his new crush. Bake Off was getting interesting.

Remus woke up the next morning with a fond smile already on his lips despite the ungodly hour of the morning he was awake at. The night before had been really fun for him and they hadn’t gotten drunk at all really, just enough to feel a slight buzz but with the promise that no matter what happened today, they would go out again after the showstopper and get properly smashed. Remus was looking forward to it.

He changed quickly and headed downstairs, kissing his mum on the cheek as he entered the kitchen. “Toast for my boy,” she said sweetly and Remus gave her a quick smile before stuffing a piece in his mouth.

“Nervous, fab?” (Nervous, son?) his dad asked from his usual seat at the table, the morning paper open in front of him.

“Ddim mewn gwirionedd, yn ddideimlad yn bennaf,” (Not really, mostly just numb.) Remus answered easily, being completely truthful. His nerves felt fried from yesterday and he knew he practiced as much as possible the weeks following up to the competition. He wouldn’t say he was ready and he also wouldn’t say it would turn out well or he was super confident. But he’d made as much peace as he possibly could with the weekend. Whatever happened would happen and he wouldn’t be able to change. (That’s not to say he wouldn’t be a mess during the actual competition, he figured it was kind of calm before the storm.)

He finished off his toast, grabbed his bag and rushed to the door so he could hurry to the train station. He couldn’t afford to be late.

“Let us know if you’ll be home late,” his mom called and he called back an acknowledgment.

“Hey Little Red, hopping on the train right now, second cart from the front,” Remus sent the message as the train pulled up to the station. He had only arrived a mere 30 seconds before.

Lily texted back immediately. “Sounds good, Wolfie. See u in a few.” Remus smiled and settled into a seat, taking out his headphones and shuffling his guilty pleasure playlist that’s filled with Britney Spears and Lady Gaga.

Lily joined him at the Cokeworth station and he quickly hid away his phone with the incriminating playlist and struck up a conversation. “So, you’re from Wales,” Lily stated and Remus raised an eyebrow.

“So I am,” Remus agreed.

“Speak Welsh?” she asked, light in her eyes and Remus snorted.

“Siarad Saesneg?” (Speak English?) he shot back and Lily grinned.

“Wicked,” she gasped. “What’s it like? Wales, I mean. I’ve never been despite it being just across the way,” she asked and Remus shrugged.

“Green, small, Welsh. I live just outside of Cardiff and the city’s rather nice. If I’m being honest I do love it, I just wish I could get out for a little,” he sighed.

“Like, uni or something? I mean I get it though, Cokeworth is small and everyone knows everyone. It’d be nice to get away but I can’t exactly afford uni,” Lily revealed and Remus looked at her for a second before nodding.

“Me too,” he answered. “I’ve always wanted to go, I love learning, I love studying, I love reading but, uh, we can’t afford it either,” he finished with a mumble and Lily gave him a piercing look. He felt uncomfortable. He knew his scars were noticeable and he knew people would always have questions but it wasn’t their business.

“I say go for it. We both should, money be damned,” Lily retorted finally and Remus raised an eyebrow. “You’re what? 21? I am too, it’s not too late, it’s never to late,” she continued and Remus smiled.

“How’d you guess my age?” he asked and she snorted.

“Didn’t you know? I’m a Seer,” she joked and Remus laughed. “By the way, did you know that Severus lives just over the tracks from me in Spinner’s End?” she added on and Remus tried not to let his mood turn sour. He didn’t want to talk about that dickhead.

“Oh how interesting,” he mused carefully and Lily’s face turned hard.

“The guy is a prick. We used to be friends, you know. When we tykes, inseparable and all that. But he changed and I tried hard to forgive him and help him but he’s just a slimy git,” she huffed and Remus glanced over at her.

“I’m sorry,” he said sincerely and she shrugged.

“Past is past, it’s just crazy to see him here after a couple of years of not seeing him and knowing he’s still the same twat he’s always been,” she sneered and Remus nodded.

“I had… a… friend like that,” Remus bit out, trying to keep himself under control as he thought about Fenrir fucking Greyback.

“I’m sorry, too then,” Lily said softly and Remus smiled at her.

“Eh, you know, past is past. A guy tries to rape, permanently disables you as a result, and then you beat the shit out of him. Casual, right?” he offered with a flimsy smile and Lily laughed. He was glad she did.

“You’re a right riot, mate,” she said. “At least you got him back and gave him what’s coming. Fuck that guy,” she continued and Remus scrunched his nose.

“Yeah well, now we’re on fucking Bake Off and Snape may be here too but there’s no way he’s winning. Not with you on the show too,” he offered and Lily rolled her eyes.

“Yeah I think you’re more of the threat to be completely honest,” she answered and Remus smiled a toothy grin.

“We’ll both give him a run of it,” he compromised and she smiled back at him.

“Deal.”

Remus was sure he and Lily would take the train to the tent together every morning they could. He was sure he’d just found a friend forever considering they’d just had a heart-to-heart at 7 in the morning on the way to a baking competition. Plus she shared part of her chocolate scone with him and he’d always been a sucker for chocolate.

Marlene got to the Bake Off grounds earlier than most, the only other person there was Frank Longbottom and they had a very brief but friendly exchange of hellos. Marlene just wanted to get there early to clear their head a bit and focus on the task at hand. They’d practiced their cake sculpture for weeks and they knew exactly what they needed to do in order for it to succeed. As long as there weren’t any major catastrophes, they’d be fine.

They were sat on a tree stomp only a small distance away from the tent when Dorcas Meadowed showed up out of nowhere and plopped down right next to them. “Morning,” Dorcas drawled out with too much pep in her step for 7:41 in the morning.

“Hullo,” Marlene answered with a very small smile. “Lovely day innit?” they asked and Dorcas scrunched her nose.

“Yeah, it is. But it got even better with you in it,” she answered and Marlene immediately blushed. Was this flirting or was she like this with everyone.

“I could say the same for you,” they answered cheekily. “But maybe if you brought me a coffee next time, it would be even better.”

Dorcas smiled. “Oh so, I’m not enough? Need coffee too? Alright, fine. How’d you take it? Black? Cream? Sugar?”

“Black,” Marlene answered back with a playful grin. “One sugar.”

“Oh that sounds gods awful,” Dorcas gagged and Marlene giggled.

“Hey, to each their own,” they snarked and Dorcas rolled her eyes.

“You nervous for today?” she asked and Marlene shrugged.

“Yeah, I mean I think it’d be weird if I weren’t,” they replied and Dorcas nodded.

“Me too, but also. Not really? I don’t know I guess I just feel confident,” she continued on and they nodded along.

“Yeah, I think that’s a good way to describe it,” Marlene concluded, smiling at Dorcas who smiled back.

“Wanna get a drink after today?” Dorcas asked and Marlene snorted but nodded at the same time.

“Yeah, I really do,” they answered. “If you’re interested I packed a joint in my bag, we could share if you want,” they continued and Dorcas lit up at the suggestion.

“Sneaky little thing, aren’t you?” she laughed before saying, “Yeah, that’d be nice. Need something to take the edge off with this competition.”

“Precisely my thoughts,” Marlene smiled and Dorcas smiled right back. Gods, they wanted to kiss her so badly but it’s been less than two days of knowing each other and that was way too forward. But still, the want was there.

James and Sirius showed up to the tent together as Sirius really did spend the night at James’s place. James was oddly kind and perceptive to Sirius’s weird moods when his home life was brought up and he had made a genuine offer for him to stay the night.

“That is if you don’t mind the lunacy of Godric’s Hollow,” James had snorted and Sirius grinned.

“No, I very much welcome lunacy,” he had replied and that was that. Sirius met Fleamont and Euphemia Potter and spent the night in the bedroom next to James. They hadn’t practiced the showstopper challenge like James had suggested earlier in the day but even if they wanted to, they would’ve been able to, considering the size of the Potter’s kitchen. It would send Wahlburga Black on a fucking rampage.

They took their stations easily and Sirius admired Remus from behind as the guy took a spot at the station in front of him, just like the day before. “Still on for tonight?” Sirius asked quickly and Remus turned around to smile and nod.

Sirius took a glance over to find James trying to chat up Lily again and he held back an eye roll. The guy was an absolute disaster but he seemed to thrive on being that way which made Sirius appreciate him even more. He, too, was an absolute disaster.

They settled in quickly after that and the cameras started rolling as Minerva, Albus, Sluggy, and Hagrid all walked in.

“Welcome to your very first showstopper!” Sluggy called out and Sirius leaned forward on his station, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear that fell loose from his bun. “Albus and Minerva would very much like you to make a sculpture of your favorite world monument out of cake. It can be the Eiffel Tower, the Statue of Liberty, the Great Wall of China, anything you want but it must be made entirely out of cake and your landmark must be decorated to the highest degree,” he explained and everyone stared at him.

“Yeh have three and a half hours! So on yer marks!” Hagrid boomed.

“Get set!” Sluggy chimed.

“Bake!” the two hosts called together and Sirius rushed to start his bake.

Sirius ran through the process of making his batters very quickly, double-checking that his oven was preheating. He was briefly aware at some point that the judges were making their rounds and they were standing in front of Remus who was explaining his sculpture. He caught words like ‘Northern Wales’ and ‘Devil’s Bridge Fall’ but he was too focused on pouring his batter evenly to be able to entirely hear the explanation.

Just as he was ensuring the pans of batter were even and ready to go in the oven, he was interrupted. “Sirius! How are you today?” Sluggy asked cheerfully and the man smiled at the two judges and the host.

“Hello Minerva, Albus, Sluggy. I’m well today, a bit nervous, but okay,” he answered and they smiled back at him. He bent down to put his sponge batter into the oven. He needed them in as soon as possible.

“What are you preparing for the judges today? Where are you taking us?” Sluggy asked and Sirius held back an eye roll.

“Calais, France. I’ll be sculpting the Calais Lighttower out of raspberry and vanilla elderflower sponge with chocolate buttercream holding it together and fresh-made fondant covering the outside,” he explained and they nodded, obviously wanting more about why he chose the Lighttower. “My family, they have strong roots in France and I used to go there at least twice a year with them. I always loved Calais and the Lighttower is so beautiful, I hope I pay it homage well,” he continued and they seemed satisfied.

“That sounds lovely and you seem to have a lot to do so we’ll let you be,” Albus conferred and Sirius nodded his thanks before running to start his buttercream icing.

Before he knew it, there were five minutes left and Sirius was honestly not very pressed for time. He’d had some banter with the bloke behind him, Peter, as well as Remus which kept the mood light and calm (despite Peter’s obvious nerves and lack of time management; he seemed to be a good artist though). He didn’t have any trouble constructing the tower thankfully and the hardest part of covering it in fondant went better than it did when he’d practiced. All that was left was to imprint the brickwork of the tower with a toothpick and paint on some cracks with black dyed buttercream.

“Bakers, your time is up! Please step away from your bakes!” Sluggy called from the front and Sirius took a deep breath, taking in his full creation and feeling rather proud of it. It looked like a Lighttower and it was standing upright. He just hoped it tastes good. Sirius looked past his own bake and saw Remus’s and was astonished. It was amazing, it looked like he’d painted all the colors of the waterfall and greenery onto the buttercream. And there was a bridge made out of chocolate work that was spectacular. Unless it tasted like horse shit, Sirius was positive that Remus would be Star Baker. The guy was bloody brilliant.

“That looks amazing, Rem,” Sirius gushed and he saw him blush while muttering a quiet thank you as they settled in for the judging to start.

They started with Marlene and went up her row. Sirius watched as Andromeda displayed a beautiful Eiffel Tower and tried not to seethe as she got glowing reviews. He liked Andromeda, she was always his favorite cousin but she was still part of his family and he did not do well with family. Thankfully, neither of them had tried to make contact with each other and that’s how he really preferred it.

James had a beautiful Taj Mahal but apparently, his flavors were a little lacking and Severus’s looked pretty terrible but apparently tasted great. It was a shoddy Big Ben and Sirius thought him to be a prick. He’d never had a conversation with the guy but he just seemed like a fucking douchenozzle.

They went down Sirius’s row and that bloke Lucius who’d been mucking everything up had a lackluster showstopper and Sirius couldn’t even make out a church building let alone the Norte Dame, Alice’s was average it seemed to be, Dorcas’ received rave reviews and Remus’s received glowing remarks about design (as it should’ve). They liked the taste of it and Remus was absolutely blushing on his walk back. It was a great look on him.

“Sirius, would you please bring up your monument,” Sluggy encouraged and he stood for his moment of truth. Honestly, if anyone besides Lucius was booted this weekend, Sirius would be shocked but needless to say, he didn’t feel too particularly nervous about judging. He didn’t know if that was good or bad.

“Well it certainly looks fantastic,” Albus remarked. “Very tall.”

“Yes, the fondant looks well made and it’s homemade?” Minerva asked and Sirius nodded.

“Yes, it is.”

They sliced through it and the whole thing remained standing, thankfully. They inspected his sponge thoroughly.

“Both looked to be well baked and the buttercream is nice and smooth,” Minerva inspected. The raspberry sponge is a brilliant pink and the vanilla elderflower sponge looks quite airy. Let’s just hope we actually get the elderflower flavor along with the vanilla,” she continued and Sirius watched as they put a piece in their mouths.

Albus hummed. “That raspberry is quite lovely with the chocolate buttercream, sharpness and sweetness both come through really well,” he said simply.

“Yes, I quite agree and it’s a beautiful texture, a wonderful bake on this one. Now for elderflower and vanilla,” Minvera remarked, taking a bite onto her fork, Albus following her lead.

After a second she sighed, “Pity. The elderflower doesn’t come through at all really and the vanilla flavor is very overpowering.” Sirius nodded.

“It’s a bit dry too,” Albus added and he nodded again.

“Thank you,” he murmured, waking forward to receive his bake and head back to his station.

Peter was last and he did fine but not good and that was that. They had a quick break while the judges deliberated, all of them gave small testimonials and then they convened back in the tent for the final judging of the week. All of this was a whirlwind for Sirius, he was dead on his feet but he was still ready to go out for the night with Remus and James.

“This week, I have the pleasure of announcing Star Baker. This baker seems to have an eye for chocolate and a hand for design. Remus, you are this week’s Star Baker,” Sluggy announced and Sirius leaned over the person named Marlene and patted his thigh, congratulating him as he sat there absolutely awestruck. Lily patted his head in congratulations and Sirius sat back in his seat.

“Now I ‘ave the very, very, very sad job of telling yeh who’s leavin’ us this week. I tell yeh, I don’ wanna see any of yeh go and I barely even know yeh!” Hagrid exclaimed, almost crying it seemed like. “This week, the one who’ll be leavin’ us is…” Everyone held their breath but Sirius felt as though it was more for show rather than actual nerves. It could only be one person. “… Lucius.”

Lucius stood up and gave a curt nod and sneered a little but everyone still stood and gave hugs for the week as was tradition on the show. Albus and Minerva went around and congratulated everyone, gave advice to those who seemed to need it, praises to those who deserved it, all while Remus was bombarded with hugs and Lucius was not approached at all very much.

It took too long for the camera crew to call cut on the day in Remus’s opinion but he did cry when he called his mom to tell her he got Star Baker. He honestly couldn’t believe it, he really thought Dorcas deserved it more than him and told her so. She told him to shut up and be more confident in his abilities.

But now, he was heading into the nearby town with James and Sirius to grab a quick drink and maybe get drunk. He was going to get drunk. For sure. Especially with Sirius and James, they seemed to be the types to get absolutely hammered when possible. Lily had in fact tagged along like she said she would and she brought Marlene, Dorcas, and Alice with her.

Remus got progressively more drunk and closer to Sirius throughout the night. Alice left rather early, Marlene and Dorcas spent the entire time talking with each other and Remus almost asked why they hadn’t started making out yet. (Honestly, he might’ve said it later in the night but he was a bit too drunk to fully remember.) James and Lily were talking almost the entire time and she had a hard time pretending to be annoyed by him, even when he really was annoying.

Sirius and Remus spent the entire night talking and he’s pretty sure Sirius told him his whole life story and Remus was also sure he told Sirius his but he was even more sure neither of them would remember in the morning.

Near the end of the night, Remus sent his mum a text that he wasn’t coming home because he was staying the night at one of the other contestant’s houses with a few other people. Lily made sure Marlene and Dorcas got home safe, promising that all three of them would text in the giant group chat they started at the bar. And then he settled in bed with Sirius and James, all three of them muttering drunken nonsense.

“Guys, I have work tomorrow,” Remus murmured, his cheek pressed against Sirius’s arm.

“You can’t go Moony, you’re Star Baker,” Sirius slurred and Remus laughed a very drunk laugh that was all deep and stomach-ish.

“Moony?” he asked.

“Awhooo! Wolf Wolf,” Sirius murmured back. “Moony.”

“Doggy,” James drawled and Sirius pushed him a bit. “Sirius star, Canis Major,” he explained weakly.

“Not Doggy,” Sirius huffed.

“Toebeans,” Remus said flatly. James snorted loudly.

“Absolutely not,” Sirius growled.

“Padfoot,” James stated easily and Sirius huffed as Remus cheered.

“Padfoot!”

“Wha bout me?” James slurred.

“‘Ou got big ears and you get tha-.. tha-.. you know…. ahh-face like that… thing,” Sirius said in an extremely unhelpful manner.

“Oh, I know like the uh… animal.. that..” Remus added trailing off and James let out a noise of impatience.

“What?” he whined, drawing it out as his new friends were being extremely unhelpful. “Moony, Padfoot,” he cried and both other men laughed but Sirius hiccuped loudly causing Remus and James to laugh again.

“Hm, Prongs,” Sirius said, snuffling further into the pillow of James’s bed, perfectly content between his two friends.

“Hm yeah,” Remus agreed. “I have work tomorrow,” he said again and James reached over and pushed on his arm.

“Shu up, Star Baker,” he grumbled. “Tell them no. We have bacon here and you live in fucking Welsh,” James murmured, pressing his face into his pillow.

“Wales,” Remus corrected. “Bachgen ceirw mud,” (Dumb deer boy.) he muttered. James said something absolutely unintelligible

“Hmm quiet, sleepy time,” Sirius yawned and neither of the other two boys said anything as they both thoroughly agreed. It was indeed time for bed.

And Remus did not end up going to work the next day, instead, he spent the day extremely hungover with his two newest and best friends: Padfoot and Prongs. He loved Bake Off before, but now he absolutely adored it.

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