#hi guys i wrote a
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EVERY SINGLE DAY there are MILLIONS of characters in their late 20s who get falsely accused of being father figures to teenagers when in reality the description of "weird older cousin" or "step-sibling that moved out before you were born" is 1000000x more apt
#talk tag#IT KILLS ME. REIGEN IS NOT MOB'S DAD. HE HAS A DAD. INGO IS NOT AKARI'S DAD. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD CAN ANYONE HEAR ME#(not even necessarily to say that ingo is in his late 20s but still)#(even if he was a 30-40-50 year old no matter how old he is no fucking teenager is gonna call some guy they met as a 15 year old ''dad'')#GAI IS NOT A FATHER FIGURE TO ROCK LEE HE WAS LIKE 13 WHEN HE WAS BORN! PLEASE!!!!!!!!#one time i saw that a person wrote a fic where mario was like a father figure to luigi.#they are TWIN BROTHERS.#not what this about but idk where else i can say anything about this.#just horrible#also sometimes someone is just An Older Friend like no familial relationship just a friend or acquaintance who is a lot older than you
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Sunday mannerisms I noticed during the 2.7 livestream
when he finds something funny or amusing but doesn't laugh out loud - his right wing twitches
when he is happy or joyous - his left wing twitches
when he is flustered, shy or laughing out loud - both wings twitch
#small writer notes honestly#also so fkn cute#i love him#adorable#also him being aware of the exact shade of his feathers is so nice to know#like it makes it more palpable to talk/write about it#and his lack of a huge reaction to that many feathers dropping means he does sometimes “shed” feathers#bro imagine waking up to a fluffy feather on your nose#aaaaaaaaaaa#also yh these are some notes i wrote down while watching#sunday#sunday x reader#fluff#writing#hsr#honkai star rail#2.7 livestream#wait am i insane for noticing these details?#guys?#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#rip me
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✧ bloodlust ✧
I'm starving, darling//Let me put my lips to something//Let me wrap my teeth around the world
[edit: thanks to all the love on this piece (which was just the WIP until now) I finally got the motivation to finish this after two months! Thank you to anyone who enjoys this for giving me the strength to finish this]
#yes i put lyrics to a Hozier song#I couldn’t take it any longer I had to post this#Oh btw the bottom right corner is stuff I wrote :) that’s not just anyone’s gay bloodlust yearning! It’s MINE :)#vampire tag#werewolf tag#my art#If the proportions are off… shhh ok. I’m used to drawing beasts and furries not people so forgive me#art#oc: wolf#oc: emil#pssss guys please click on the link ok thank u#that’s the playlist I made specifically for this art piece#vampire x werewolf#werewolf oc#werewolf art#vampire art#vampire oc#monsterfucker#monster x monster#terato#suggestive art#If you’ve made it this far in the tags then hiiiiiiii mewtuals <3#bloodlust boyfriends#blood moon bite#*voice of a guy who’s getting the blood drained out of him by his hot werewolf boyfriend in the middle of the woods in the night* woah is#this gay sex#FINALLY FINISHED THIS!!!!!
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mostly old engiespy doodles, kinda drew most of these for my eyes only but changed me mind today
#holy shit i didnt know u could upload so many pics on tumblr#tf2#tf2 engineer#tf2 spy#team fortress 2#engiespy#i wrote out a bunch of crap but nvm lol. i have many thots abt crossfaction in particular...they are fun 2 me#practical espionage#????#i love happy sunshine eng but i also really love playing w his bitchier side too...all tf2 guys contain multitudes
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Holmes and Watson / Tristan and Isolde
BBC Radio 4's Sherlock Holmes, The Devil's Foot (radio drama transcript) /// Granada's The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes, The Red Circle /// Metafictional Monday: Tristan und Isolde, @teaformrholmes /// Brayton Polka, LIEBESTOD: On Love and Death in Wagner's "Tristan und Isolde", p. 246 /// The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes, Vincent Starrett /// BBC Radio 4's Sherlock Holmes, The Devil's Foot (radio drama transcript)
#this is so niche but I have to trust there's an audience for it#it's about characters being immortalised by the audience. it's about a love that is only realised in the minds of the viewer#there's an extra layer to how isolde never hears the resolution of this chord and so only the audience can witness their union or something#and in granada the chord remains unresolved and transitions into the show's theme as holmes stares into the camera#as if he's asking the audience if the chord is resolved - if his love is requited#but idk enough about opera to explain it and the guy who wrote that jstor article knows too much about opera to articulate it clearly#also bert coules was fucking insane for this#at least there's a canon basis for holmes & watson watching a wagner show in the red circle but bbc4 pulls it out of nowhere in devils foot#sherlock holmes#bbc4 sherlock holmes#granada holmes#granada johnlock#johnlock#acd johnlock#tristan and isolde
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daniel molloy you FREAK!!!
#yeah these are all from the devils minion chapter#iwtv#trying to bite open a guys neck with your MORTAL HUMAN TEETH and drinking his blood despite the fact that it does nothing bc you’re human#also snuggling with dead things awww if i wrote fanfic i would name one that it’s so cute
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Teru and Ritsu !!!!! And Ddimple I guess
#nothingbizzare art#watched all evangelion anddid color pallet studies#TERU AND RITSU THE DUO THAT WOULD PROTECT WITH ALL COSTS MOB#the popular guys duo who talk about some gossip and are silly and silly#mp100#mp100 fanart#hanazawa teruki#teruki hanazawa#kageyama ritsu#ritsu kageyama#ekubo#mp100 dimple#mob psycho 100#mob psycho fanart#i wrote ddimple of fimple instead of Dimple too many times#i think my tablet hates the guy because it doesnt let me wtite his name
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henry winter you are so emotional. you are so much of that scared little boy who hated his father, only with skin grown thicker to bear his beatings. you are so desperate for somebody to see you as a human yet you can’t fathom the possibility so you make yourself a god.
you pretended to strip yourself of all feeling, of all guilt. you killed the one man who could make you laugh, who still saw you as a person, and it still wasn’t enough.
you could never escape being a man, being a burning, fiery ball of rage and guilt and fear. everybody looked at you as if you were a god, but if only they knew.
#hey guys so maybe it’s 12pm on a thursday and i’m thinking about this man again#hashtag favourite trope: man who is severely uncomfortable with his own humanity#bonus points if they have a love interest that makes them want to cling to it#COUGH COUGH COUGH MICOLASH HOST OF THE NIGHTMARE#and henry too#but i just wrote a whole post about him#and i should write a whole post about mico#the secret history#henry winter
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Aventurine x Reader
You treat Aventurine with more respect than he deserves.
Read part 2 here !
Only barely proof-read, guaranteed to have lots of grammatical errors, English is not my first language and I am experimenting with my writing style <3
CW: smut, handjob (Aventurine receiving), dehumanisation (internal, thoughts Aventurine has of himself, referring to himself as a “monster”), feelings of inadequacy, hurt/very little comfort, crying, mentions of death, at some points this seems like dubcon because Aventurine speaks of feeling “dread”, but it’s NEVER intended to be read as him not wanting to receive touch from reader, it is meant to convey how little he thinks he deserves this. The smut is soft and gentle, but Aventurine’s internal thoughts definitely are not <3
Lmk if there’s anything else I should warn about !!
18+, minors will be blocked <3
Your touch is so kind. Soft and gentle, as if he is made of the finest porcelain, as if he is a fragile flower, as if he is delicate. It is cruel, he thinks, that he has made you think he is any less than a monster. It is cruel that he hasn’t pushed you away, when he knows he will devour you. It has become part of his nature.
But how can he push you away when you are so persistent? How can he push you away when you roll with his punches, when you go along with each and every one of his pushes and pulls? It is hard to keep you out when you insistently pry your way into what’s left of his soul, when you gaze upon the rotten corpse that he is and still claim him to be beautiful. He thinks you must be blind at best and naive at worst.
“You’re so pretty,” you whisper reverently, and though Aventurine knows his body is, he also knows that is not the part of him you’re referring to. Not when your hand rests on his chest, above the empty cavern where his heart is meant to be.
You kiss his neck and he shivers. There’s a pit in his stomach, knotting his insides with dread.
He should tell you to stop, should warn you that he’s deceiving you, that he’s not the person you think he is. Should show you that he is a wolf in sheep’s clothing, that he is a bad omen. But he can’t bring himself to. Not when being with you feels so good, not when he’s self-indulgent to a fault, and he can’t help himself with you. He is the worst mistake you could ever make, in part because he can’t even stop from letting you continue to make it.
His hands rest on the back of your neck, fingers tangled in your hair. It is unfair how good your touch feels, his back arching just from mere caresses upon his skin. You play him like he’s an instrument you’ve practiced for years, despite never having fucked him before. He digs his heels into your back as your hand wraps around his dick, and he whines into your shoulder when you lovingly stroke it.
“I love you,” you murmur as he pulls on your hair, as his nails dig into your skin, and he wants to cry. He will destroy you from the inside out, he knows, or maybe he will kill you before he gets the chance to. He can never keep the things he loves alive.
Your lips kiss his skin, and he moans brokenly as your thumb glides over the head of his cock, pushing down on the tip. His hips rock up to meet your hand, and he feels ashamed of how blatantly he allows himself to enjoy you, how blatantly he allows himself to use you. You deserve so much better, but you are the best thing that he has ever managed to get his bloodstained hands on, and so he can’t help himself. He wants you to remain unaware of how much better you could do. He wants you to stubbornly remain by his side even when he makes it hard for you to do so. He wants to bare every part of his being to you so you can see how little worth he is to you. He wants you to run from him before it’s too late.
But part of him knows he already has shown you himself, that you’ve seen who he is and you still love him. You must be stupid.
“Use me,” he begs you, wishing you’d do something with him to alleviate the guilt he feels, so it would at least be mutual. His hands cling to you, and he whimpers pathetically when you lean back to look down at him. “Use me, please. Please…”
And your eyes are so kind. Your eyes are so sweet and soft and human, and everything he is not.
“Shh,” you hush him, tenderly pressing a kiss to his lips. He sobs, feeling embarrassing tears fill his eyes as you press closer to him, the touch so caring and innocent yet so lewd as your hand tugs at him. “Just let me make you feel good, okay?”
And you do. You always keep true to your words, unlike him. It’s barely a minute later that his breath hitches and he keens, nearly wailing into your neck as he comes undone under your too loving hands. It’s obscene, and he feels filthy as his semen paints your hand and splatters on his lower stomach. He has soiled your perfect skin, has dirtied your perfect body. He hopes you will let go of him and wash yourself up, then leave him here, broken on the bed in the mess he’s created. That you will leave him to pick up the pieces of himself he has left. He is undeserving of you.
And yet he only feels your love swaddle him when his body relaxes, adoring praises and sweet words tumbling from your perfect lips as your perfect hands gently stroke his body, soothing him as if he is deserving. Your perfect body presses closer to him, no doubt getting his mess on your perfect abdomen as you almost lay yourself flat on him. You pepper perfect kisses all over his face, and he realises belatedly he’s crying. For the first time in ten years. Fat tears rolling down his cheeks, and he doesn’t know for what reason.
But you seem like you do know. You look so understanding, wiping his tears with an achingly kind, perhaps slightly sad smile, and you don’t ask him why.
“I’ve got you now, it’s okay,” you say instead. And you do, because you always keep true to your word.
And he is selfish, because he doesn’t stop you. He lets you clean him up, lets you kiss his tears away, lets you take care of him. Lets you climb into bed with him afterwards, unaware that you have brought the monster under your bed up into your loving arms. He hasn’t felt so much love since he was nine.
And he is selfish, because even though he can already feel his claws dig into your flesh as he holds you in return, he cannot bring himself to pull away. He can only hope he won’t dig in his heels when you eventually see reason and try to leave. He can only hope you will have the time to get away before he kills you.
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My inbox is open, feel free to send in asks or requests, I'd love to ramble about things <3
#[18+]#[rawbin]#[aventurine]#[rawbin fanfic]#[by me]#aventurine x reader#Do I think this is how his first time with any person would usually go ? No#Do I intend for this read of him to be the standard for how I write him ? Also no#Just thought it would be interesting :3#Didn't even originally intend to upload this when I wrote it but urgghhghhgh I want to prove I want to write....#plspslspsls send requests to me pls guys I can't do this I'm not creative enough to come up with my own prompts#art by yours truly btw but I won't put it under the art tag because I'm still finishing it up to post the full image later#aventurine hsr#aventurine honkai star rail#aventurine star rail#reader x aventurine#aventurine x you#hsr x reader#hsr x you#hsr aventurine#hsr#honkai star rail#honkai star rail x reader#smut#aventurine smut
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"I'll see you guys later!" Eddie calls, his hips wiggling as he fake jogs to the door. Steve holds his hand up after him, Robin waves her whole arm at him, not looking away from the stove. Steve stares after him as he disappears, he hears the door open and click closed.
"You've got that dopey look on your face again." Robin says, crossing her arms and resting against the counter as she watches him. Steve turns to her, avoids her eyes and watches the steam rise from the bowl of Ramen on the countertop.
"Shut up." He grumbles.
"Just sayin. Your eyes get all shiny and your mouth literally hangs open sometimes... it's... ridiculous." She shakes her head but she looks... sad? Steve hates when she looks at him like that.
"Well-" he stops, takes a deep breath. Robin's lip twitches.
"Let it out babe. You'll feel better." She holds her hand out, twitches her fingers encouragingly.
Steve grimaces, runs his hands over his face and then jumps off the stool to his feet.
"It- it- it's just dimples! Dimples across the board Robin! I mean what am I supposed to do with that!?" He groans, his hands flailing at his sides, a habit he'd picked up from both Robin and Eddie.
"You should tell him how you feel maybe?" Robin says, he voice completely calm as she stirs her ramen slowly.
"Can you please stop suggesting that. We've established that's not a viable solution." Steve huffs, hands falling to the countertop on their small island, his shoulders tight.
"Well. No. You established that. I agreed to no such thing." Robin shakes her head, crosses her arms again.
"Steve. It's been three years. We've all lived together. For three years. You've been hopelessly in love with him. Forthree. Fucking. Years."
Steve opens his mouth to defend himself but before he can speak there's a clatter by the door and Eddie comes skidding back into the room.
"You're in love with me!?" He shouts, his eyes wide as they bounce between Robin and Steve.
"I'm out." Robin says, grabbing her bowl gently and walking away.
"Robin!" Steve calls, it sounds more like a whine but he would deny that to his grave.
"Nope." Is all he gets from her as she, uncharacteristically, gracefully dodges his reaching hands and disappears down the all into her room.
Steve turns, his mouth opening, about to apologize or backtrack or maybe cry a little, but instead finds himself with a chestful of Eddie Munson. Eddie's hands tug his hips close and then move nimbly up his sides to rest against his neck.
"Hi." Eddie says, smiling. Steve's eyes move to his cheeks, his dimples, helpless.
"Hi. I can expla- mmfph!" Eddie's lips press to his with a genlte force Steve could only associate with Eddie. His lips are soft, if a little chapped, and warm, moving gently agaisnt his. Steve lets his eyes fall closed and hums into the kiss, wraps his arms around Eddie's waist and holds him close.
"I'm in love with you too." Eddie breathes, pulls back, looks at Steve, his eyes shining with tears.
"I love you too." He breathes again, bumping his nose into Steve's.
"Yeah?" Steve asks, tilts his head and watches as Eddie dramatically clutches his chest with a teasing grimace.
"Yeah." Eddie nods, his nose scrunching. Steve bites his lip, squeezes Eddie's hips until he squirms and then pulls him close again.
"I love you." Steve says, reaching up and tucking Eddie's hair behind his ear.
"You said." Eddie sinks his teeth into his own lip and scrunches his nose again, swaying side to side, moving them both.
"Not to you. And it's nice to say it. Finally." Steve says, smiling as Eddie keeps them swaying slowly.
"Three years is a long time I guess." Eddie nods, slowly, eyes narrowing.
"What? What's that for?" Steve asks, reaching up and moving his finger over the frown lines on Eddie forehead, trailing his finger down his nose as well, making it twitch.
"Nothin just. Three years is a lot." He bites at Steve's hand as he moves it away to rest on Eddie's shoulder, Eddie's eyes move back to his face.
"But six years is longer." He mumbles it, and quickly tucks his face against Steve's neck, hugging him and holding him close.
"Wait what? Six years?" Steve frowns, tries to untangle Eddie from himself, Eddie holds on tighter.
"Eddie!" Steve huffs, manages to untangle himself and look at Eddie, who's red in the face.
"What?" He asks, sounding innocent. Like he hadn't just said what he'd said.
"Six years?" Steve asks. Eddie nods, looks at the floor.
"That was... senior year. My senior year." Steve says slowly, doing the math.
"Yeah. I was there for that." Eddie mumbles.
"I know. I just... you have not been in love with me since senior year." Steve protests, rolling his eyes fondly.
"Okay fine. Maybe not actual love. But I was infatuated. Big time." Eddie admits, rubbing at his neck.
"Dude I was miserable senior year. I had no friends. I got my fuckin heart broken. I mean I was a mess." Steve shook his head again, watched as Eddie nodded in agreement as he spoke.
"I know dude. And I know it probably says something shitty about me but... it was a good look on you." Eddie shrugged, looking sheepish.
"Misery was a good look on me?" Steve propped his hands on his hips. Eddie waves his hand at Steve, groans as he spins in a circle to get his eyes back on Steve.
"Yes man! Sorry. Not in like... ugh. I don't know. You went from pretentious douchebag to sad pretty boy. And you stopped Tommy shithead from shoving my head into a toilet one day and I dunna that sort of changed how I saw you okay?" Eddie's hands flailed, and then he clapped his hands and pointed at Steve.
"And! And and! You didn't even like... seem interested. You just told him to fuck off all nonchalant, and then you were gone, man! And then the next fucking year all that shit happened, and I saw you with the gremlins and I just... fell hard okay?" He shrugged again, rolling his eyes when he saw the grin spreading across Steve's face.
"You sat by my bed in the hospital man. What did you expect? There's only so much my little gay heart can fend off before it goes all soft and gooey." Eddie pouts at him and Steve thinks his heart might burst out of his chest.
"You never said anything." Steve says, takes a step toward Eddie.
"Yeah well. I didn't know you were into guys until very recently and I-" his hands wave at his sides, like he's helpless.
"You what?" Steve pushes, teasing now. Eddie levels him with an unimpressed look and then rolls his eyes.
"I was scared alright? Cuz if I said something, and you didn't feel the same, then I'd have ruined everything. And I don't know if you've notcied this Steve, but I kinda like having you around. And being around you." He makes a face, like it should be obvious.
"And love confessions tend to change things, between people. So I just... didn't say anything." He shrugged again, helpless again. Steve closed the distance between them quickly. Grabbing Eddie's face genlty, holding him as he stares at Steve.
"We are. So. Fucking. Stupid." Steve punctuates each word with a little shake to Eddie's head. The laugh that bursts out of Eddie as he wraps his arms around Steve and pulls him close again fills their apartment like sweet music.
Steve presses kisses anywhere he can reach, along Eddie's shoulder, up his neck, across his cheeks. Eddie finally cups his cheeks and finds Steve's lips with his own.
"Honey I love you. But if you ever call yourself stupid again in my presence we're gonna have a problem you and me." Eddie mumbles, his lips still brushing Steve's as he speaks. Steve snorts and dives face first into Eddie's neck.
"Laugh all you want sweetheart. I'm serious." Eddie assures him.
"I called you stupid too ya know?" Steve sighs into Eddie's shoulder.
"Mhm. I'm allowing that. Currently." Eddie hums, his hand rubbing Steve's back as he clings to him.
"Okay. I won't. But I do really love you." Steve says, pulls back to look at Eddie. His nose scrunches again, that giddy smile back on his face.
"I really love you too." Eddie darts forward, peppers kisses across Steve's cheeks.
"Shit. You're gonna be late." Steve says, glancing at the clock on the microwave. Eddie shrugs one shoulder.
"That's alright. They'll understand. You wanna come?" He asks, squeezing Steve's hips.
"You want me to come? To your dungeon game?" Steve lifts his eyebrows.
"Okay I know you know what it's called. That's not as cute as you think it is." Eddie says. Steve leans closer, his breath ghosting over Eddie's neck makes him shiver.
"Yes it is." Steve whispers, then licks a stripe up Eddie’s cheek, and then promptly pouts when Eddie is unfazed.
"They won't care if I come?" Steve asks, wiping at the wetness he'd left behind.
"Course not. The guys love you. And they'll be fucking ecstatic that I'm not gonna be pinning about you anymore." Eddie winks, slaps Steve's butt as he reaches behind him for his keys sitting on the counter.
"You've been pinning for me?" Steve repeats, teasing, as he grabs his shoes.
"Six. Years. Steven. Yeah, you could say I was pinning." Eddie grabs his bag off the floor as Steve tugs his laces tight.
"Alright alright. But hey," Steve presses himself to Eddie's side as they reach the door.
"They're gonna wish you were still pinning by the time we're done." Steve grabs Eddie's head and presses his lips to Eddie's cheek, hard. Eddie cackles, shoots Steve a wink as he grabs his hand, and tugs him out the door.
#this is just a random lil thing i wrote simple because i saw a gifset of eddie and his dimples#it took me ages to get it....sort of okay so i hope you guys like it#steddie fic#steddie ficlet#steddie#steve x eddie#steve harrington x eddie munson#my writing#mine#fates endless inkwell#fei#my fic
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To the ‘themes I am picking up on in Veilguard’ list, let's go ahead and add what I have a sneaking suspicion will actually turn out to be The theme:
— the world has changed and can never be as it was again.
— I have been changed and can never be who I was again.
— in this simple unavoidable truth there is endless grief and endless hope.
And I… may be getting a bit emotional about it haha. Let me show my work a bit:
if da:o is a game about people who are already dead or half ghosts in some form (through societal forces, psychologically, functionally, literally, in body, through the joining etc.) coming together anyway to save the world from being swallowed by total nihilism and despair (symbolized by the blight) through the power of love and friendship and also this sword/potential heroic sacrifice that I found, da2 is a game about people who have lost their homes and been set adrift finding and building new homes in each other (while completely failing to save the world. also through the power of love and friendship. as well as years of petty bickering <3 we must imagine kirkwall if not happy then worth having been because the love was there the love was there and that's the only sanctifying force we can ever have in this doomed world and city of ours), and da:i is a game about old stabilizing-but-unjust comfortable lies vs. disruptive but potentially liberating uncomfortable truths, and the power of friendship to help us distinguish the one from the other and navigate through them...
folks… I'm starting to think that veilguard might be a game specifically about moving towards recovery and acceptance after trauma — about how even in this flawed, severed, scarred state, what is here right now is worth loving and worth caring for. even in an imperfect and impermanent world and self, there is worth and joy. and of course the first real tragedy — and threat — of Solas is that he just cannot find it in himself to accept this and move on, to let go of what was, the regret won’t let him go or he won’t let go of it. which means that even though on the surface it’s Elgar’nan and Ghilan’nain (and the will to subjugate and violate they represent) who are the main villains, the real antagonistic force in this story beneath that is the Dread Wolf’s despair. A despair Rook must make an answer to by the end of the game, one way or another, compassionately or with righteous fury, triumphant or pyrrhic.
The world will change again and again and so will you — BUT the crucial element is that so will everyone else who exists along with you, you are fundamentally not alone in this existential truth. all we’ll ever have is each other and my god that is plenty, my god that is enough!!! Which is the second thing Solas just can’t accept, he keeps himself separate and completely alone out of an awful mix of fear and pride and feeling himself unworthy of anything else. Rook and the player want to save the world of Thedas because it’s where everyone we love lives, Solas wants to go back to the past because that’s the only neighbourhood where he can still visit those he loved — and the person he himself was, before. A very sympathetic and human instinct/trap to fall into when touched by trauma, I think, if only it wasn’t backed by godlike power, a fundamentally oppositional personality, and a catastrophic lack of therapy to make it literally everyone else’s problem too lol. It’s varric and solas’ banter about the man on the island and where meaning in a life comes from all over again, writ large and with detail work — and the added idea of ‘what if there are also other islands out there, though. With other people on them that you could find if you reach for each other’. Rook with the best of intentions has to make choices to which there are no perfect outcomes and live with what happens — and not cut themselves off from everyone else around them even when there is regret or shame. You get back up every day and you make a life with other people doing the same and you do your best, and that’s the only victory this world will give you. In the end, that is more than enough, that is essential. And I um. I love that. So much. It’s why some of the writing clumsiness on top can’t hurt me because this thematic spine is so solid and so beautiful to me. It’s DA2 all over again that way for me personally — I forgive this story for what it isn’t and couldn’t be, and I love it with my whole stupid open heart for what it actually is. Thank you for coming to my TED-talk and goodbye etc.
(For my fellow TLT heads out there — you know what this story is reminding me of most of all, actually? It has some big Nona the Ninth vibes down there in the deep. It’s about… the horror and unspeakable beauty that can only be found in liminality, and the role of love in making that basic fact of existence bearable. And also even more unbearable at the same time. I'm so sorry.)
#I told you all I was going to be extremely myself about this. I suppose we all hoped I was joking. even while knowing I was not#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age meta#solas#varric tethras#anyway. at the end of the day and despite everything varric won the 'I told you so chuckles' rights over solas in this philosophical debate#and isn't that enough in a way. I think so. the world and the story of the world is his legacy. people get to keep telling it#I want to say so much about how each of the companions play into the different aspects of this theme but I should uh#probably finish the game properly first haha#guys I literally opened my eyes this morning and wrote out most of this before even getting up. the pressure cooker brain is back#the lone brain cell in here boileth over with dragon age feels & thoughts#very little sends me deranged quite like this series I'm afraid. I'm just still so relieved that even if this story isn't for everyone.#it is for me. thank god. I needed it
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daniel was so enthralled and delighted seeing louis' fangs, was fascinated with the knowledge that armand can read minds, that it stands to reason he would go balls to the wall insane to find out armand can fly. in the 70s he'd ask armand to do it all the time and armand would always do it so daniel would cheer for him and get all excited again. so in dubai in 2022 when armand is revealing himself as the ancient vampire and not the servant boy, i like to think he was like "well, there's one surefire way to make sure this reveal makes daniel's eyes bug out and makes him freak out and go crazy and realize how cool and hot and powerful i am." and then he just. starts fucking flying
#iwtv#devil's minion#armandaniel#headcanon i just came up with my mind. i'm feeling craaazyyyyyyy#just wrote it into my wip as well but i felt like it deserved a meta post also#because i do believe all of armands actions in dubai at the end of the day are in service of getting daniel to fuck him.#it's like. we know vampires can fly. we saw lestat do it 2 episodes ago.#the fact that there's a vampire flying isn't new knowledge. but i like to think that daniel was like#WOAG. THIS GUY I WANT TO FUCK IS FLOATING IN MIDAIR!#like the fact that he gets a book of theatre de vampires archives and throws it down is so nothing. we dont careeeeee#but daniel DOES care that his beautiful vampire lover who he doesnt remember is showing off for him. god im sick
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charles and erik with each other: oh dear, oh dear. gorgeous 🥺👐 charles and erik with the villain of the week/the x-men: K1LL YOURSELF 🔥🔥🔥
X-Men: First Class (2011) | X-Men Apocalypse (2016)
#charles is soo insane for looking at a god in the face and telling him to fuck off bc he was hurting his best friend. most normal guy.#cherik#mine*#x-men#xmenedit#parallelsedit#filmedit#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#otp: i want you by my side#god charles' entire demeanor towards apocalypse in xma has always been SOO funny to me. he literally looks ANNOYED every time#apocalypse speaks in the movie. he doesn't even look intimidated or worried that he's trying to possess CHARLES'S BODY or anything#mind you charles wrote his thesis about mutation and here he has THE FIRST MUTANT ever in front of him. who's also a god threatening#to destroy the world. and charles' only reaction is:#'whatever. MOVE OUT OF THE WAY LOSER i CANNOT see erik from where you are standing and i'm worried about him'#and i do think it's very sweet that after this raven tells erik he has to fight for what he has left - and he thinks about charles#(the man that stood on the balcony all those years ago and that cared enough about him to tell him there is more to him#and the same man that STILL CARES ENOUGH to look at A GOD in the face and telling him to go fuck off and die and stop manipulating erik)#charles loves him so much you don't get it........... i'm foaming at the mouth i'm so normal about them
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we know EA interfered a lot with veilguard, i definitely do attribute the "sanitization" of the setting directly to EA's meddling, i even think to some extent taash's quest and the corporate representation feel of it all was influenced heavily by EA and not just weekes. and i think a lot of the companions being so shallow and their quests feeling half-baked is also mostly due to time constraints and rewrites/cut content-- the writers genuinely did do the best they could with what they had, and i feel for them and their frustrations. but. there are also just a lot of really bad decisions made elsewhere, too. like i said the racism has always been present in these games and it's always been a problem, it's literally baked into the worldbuilding, though i can definitely agree that some of it was potentially made worse specifically in veilguard due to constant rewrites and the loss of context and cohesion, but like... it was always there to begin with... and it's not "unfair" for players to point this out.
both things can be true-- EA absolutely fucked these people over, and we shouldn't be speculating conspiracy theory-type shit about the writers hating fans or whatever when we know. we know EA interfered, we know there were creative differences, we know they ruthlessly laid off a lot of the people that poured their blood, sweat, and tears into this game! EA is both stupid and actively malicious, they get no sympathy from me. veilguard absolutely is a casualty of the current state of the gaming industry. and i also think there were a lot of poor writing decisions made independently of that as well, that are fair to criticize and question. a lot of these problems are the same problems we've seen in every single DA game, and this consistency makes it clear this is not just an issue with corporate overreach.
but i really feel for everyone involved with making this game, this shit was clearly a very long and tiring fight, i can't even imagine the kind of constant corporate shitstorm they had to deal with for ten fucking years, and personally there is no NDA in the world that would keep me from talking shit. so these guys are stronger than me lol
#sorry i know these are just silly posts on tumblr dot edu but its important to me that people know im mostly being flippant#in some of my negative comments#like i dont think the writers are evil or whatever theyre just humans with biases that are very apparent in some of the things they write#and i also understand they got shafted big time and no one deserves the treatment they got#i could never be a narrative designer or writer in the gaming industry i would be so sickkkkkkkkkk#i follow this one author. the guy who wrote warm bodies. and he sent out a newsletter recently about how he was working on#a huge gaming project for a UK based company#and then the game got scrapped and they sealed all of his writing in a vault to just Never be released#oh i would be on the NEWS!!!!!! i couldn't do it. these people may be insufferable at times but they have my respect#for dealing with this shit. i could never#da posting
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emotionally repressed dalish assassin meets the evil god he's looked up to all his life, folds immediately
#my art#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#elgarook#elgar'nan#rook#faolan de riva#was rereading fal's character desc i wrote in my google doc and one line absolutely took me out#“he clings to elgar'nan like a scared child to a stuffed toy rather than someone in the arms of a lover”#the poor guy is traumatised as fuck and leaps into the arms of the first person who offers him security and comfort#and that happens to be the god he was compared to all his childhood who he thought was the only being that truly understood him#so anyway yeah. that inspired this. i am unwell.#also fuck that crown it's so hard to draw
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that ivan loves till is the most obvious thing about them
but. does ivan know that…?
the ivan that regards his own feelings as shallow, the ivan that learned how emotions are expressed only from copying others… does he even know that the love he’s felt for so long is love? probably not. and part of the reason is the one he loves himself
because the easiest example he has of love is till's feelings to mizi. till outright calls it love, and ivan watches him so much he has to be aware of this and till’s love to mizi is totally unselfish, right. he doesn’t seem to actually want much from her—just that she's still there and still "mizi"
but ivan can't be satisfied with just watching he… wants. ivan wants till’s attention, till’s affection—
surely this selfish wanting can’t be love
...no wonder he was never able to express his feelings straightforwardly when he belittles them so much but he can’t stand not having anything either, so he does… whatever he does instead to get any scraps of attention he can, from someone he's convinced doesn't care about him at all only showing affection when till can't see it, right until he knows he's going to die
but ivan's feelings for till are all he still has of himself... to think of them as shallow...
I've seen this translated as "I should've been kinder" to him (till) or to her (sua)
but really, the one he should've been kinder to was himself
#alien stage#alnst#alnst ivan#ivantill#i have a lot of thoughts on till -> mizi too but this is long enough#just attempting to rewrite my twt rambles more coherently#idk why i wrote this so dramatically tho...#'thank you for being the victim of my shallow emotions' is going to haunt me to my grave#ivan's character is just a careful balance between his natural freak nature and his extreme depths of self-loathing#making him the most miserable guy ever#...really once you realize so much of what went wrong is thanks to ivan just hating himself too much to even think of them as friends. well#c...can we bring him back... don't die like this.....#(also you know. with the implications of how 'pets' are treated#wanting someone physically must feel... even more wrong
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