#hi I got bleach brainrot

[gallusrostromegalus]

Bleach headcanon for no reason:

The 5th captain of the 11th division was just a really big fucking lizard that assumed the captainacy by eating the 4th captain. Tokagero Kenpachi served for 378 years (the longest-serving Kenpachi to date) of relative inter-division peace and popularity, mostly by eating anyone that annoyed it.

[pshbites]

✦ BLONDES HAVE MORE FUN ━ yjw

pairing ?! jungwon x fem!reader. genre ?! est. relationship, fluff, so cute u wanna D WORD. warnings ?! none. synopsis ?! your bf wants you to dye his hair. wc ?! 0.5k a/n ?! i SWEAR!! i will work on miss moving on guys the jungwon brainrot was too strong 😵‍💫😵‍💫, pls like n reblog as always!!

taglist ?! @leeechin @00kittenz (my loves this ones for u 💗) @wensurr @livelaughluvryanreynolds @yeehawnana @ami-soph @t1iqaa @jjongsaengzz @rriribelle @cherrybeomm @mochamvgz @squiishymeow @mitmit01 @justalittle-hee @yourmomssneakylink @heelariously @bubblytaetae @wintertxt @17ericas @beatrizmel-472 @vveebee @luvyou2ooo @sunghoonsperfume @hmusunoo @mariahxrrera @silquids @thedemonriot @blockbusterhee @suneng @mamuljji (bold cannot be tagged)

perma taglist !

jungwon sat on your bathroom toilet, watching you as you mixed up the hair dye. he smiled softly at the sight of you reading the instructions on the box. he smiles also at the thought of how quick you jumped up to help him dye his hair when he first told you he wanted to. you were always so attentive to him, he was to you as well. 

“you got it figured out honey?” he mumbled, heart swelling at your tongue sticking out slightly because you were focused. “yeah, but we might have to leave it in longer since your hair is black” you sighed softly, slipping gloves on and shaking the bottle. 

jungwon gasps at your professionalism, “are you going to be my personal stylist?” he looked up at you as laughed softly. “yes i am” you smiled at him, shaking the bottle still. you began to squeeze the bleach out into the sections. jungwon kept his eyes trained on you as you worked diligently on his hair. 

jungwon loved to admire you, how pretty you looked in lounge wear even with your hair in a loose ponytail. or how you bit your lip, trying to concentrate on the task at hand. you moved closer to jungwon in an attempt to get the back of his head. you leaned back a little once you got the section. 

you knew jungwons eyes were on you this whole time, you felt it. “you’re really distracting you know that” you glanced at him and he only smiled. “i’m just admiring my pretty girlfriend” he tilted his head as you continued to brush in the dye. you cheeks turned slightly pink, but you kept quiet trying not to give in. “would you stop it” you mumbled, trying to concentrate. 

“says the one who’s blushing” he smiles, making you smile even harder. “whatever” you mumbled back. you went on with applying the dye in his hair. now, you were standing in between his legs, jungwon still watching you intently. 

“isn’t your back going to hurt hunching over me like that?” jungwon sighed out, tilting his head, then you tilted it straight so you could apply the dye correctly. “no it’s okay won” you said, straightening your back slightly then going back to hunching over him. 

he could see the discomfort on your face and only sighed once more. “sit on my lap” he said, now you were looking at him with a face. “what?” you laughed out, ears not registering what he said. “sit, you’ll be more comfortable” he pulled on your shirt, trying to get you to sit. reluctantly, you gave in, straddling his lap. 

you sat comfortably on his lap now, continuing to dye his hair. “why did you want to go blonde anyways?” you glanced down at him, his eyes never leaving yours. “blondes have more fun” he smiled, making you laugh. “as if you aren’t like an orange cat” you remarked, setting the brush down on the counter and looking at him. his eyes twinkled as his hands rested on your waist, rubbing up and down.

”yeah but you love that about me” he smiled, tilting his head. you tilted your head along with him, teasing him, “yeah i do” you smiled even bigger now that he was looking at you like that, the look of adoration. “you have to leave it in for about 40 minutes if we really want the bleach to pick up properly” you ran your gloved hand through his hair. “what does my love want to do in the meantime?” jungwon smiled at you once more, his hand rubbing up and down your back. 

“we could start that show we wanted to watch a couple weeks ago, but we’d only get through one episode” you smiled softly and jungwon grinned, nodding. “c'mon i'll get some snacks for us” jungwon patted your back as a signal to get up and you only smiled, getting up. there was never a dull moment with jungwon. 

© all rights to pshbites 2024. please do not copy, translate or repost my works

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

*strolls into tumblr and falls on my face pretending I haven't been missing for like a month I was out getting the milk hello maggots*

Doctor Who But I've Never Watched It 2.0

For those of you feeling deja vu YES I HAVE MADE POSTS ON DOCTOR WHO BEFORE OKAY but back then I was a young uneducated lad, just a fresh blossom unfucked by tumblr. Now I am surrounded by you lot and by god do y'all love Doctor Who. And I am Educated. My DW virginity is deflowered. All that.

SO HERE WE GO, EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS SHOW I'VE NEVER WATCHED:

The show started in 1963, and then was rebooted in 2005 and the showrunner was... Robert de Neiro? Idk all I know is he gives Pedro Pascal vibes. Like his name. His name is Robert.

There have been 15 Doctors so far. One is a lesbian and it is not Jodie Whittaker, it is actually the 12th doctor.

There's someone called the Master. I don't know what that means, or if it's some kind of BDSM thing, but he has intense sexual tension with the Doctor.

He's also emo and has bleached hair and is kinda babygirl. And is called Missy.

The Doctors all have intense trauma and the 15th Doctor kind of girlbossed it by leaving David Tennant intact when they binary-fissioned.

Donna is a person played by Catherine... Tate? Not Hepburn. And she knows less about Doctor Who than I do. And Donna is in a QPR with the David Doctors (there are two of them).

David Doctor loves Donna very much. And then he kills her. But doesn't kill her. And then they have dinner together with her husband and kid.

The original show had shitty effects. The new show does too, and everyone is happy about this.

Rose is someone the David Doctor is in love with and then she ends up with a human AU of him and he leaves and the fans are very divided and passionate about this.

The human AU is called Tentoo because y'all hate using W's. What the fuck is Tentoo. What is Nuwho. Why isn't it New and Two. Help me.

THERE IS SOMETHING CALLED THE TARDIS, IT IS BIGGER ON THE INSIDE, I HAVE HAD WEIRD DREAMS WHERE IT WAS A FUCKING AUTO-RICKSHAW WITH RIBBONS FOR SEATBELTS, AND IT IS BLUE AND NOT YELLOW BUT IT WAS YELLOW IN MY DREAM. Because of a Drarry fanfic that I misread.

The 15th doctor dances homoerotically with someone during the French Revolution.

The 9th doctor kinda vibes with like his head jiggling idk I've only seen one gif of him.

The 13th doctor keeps forgetting she's in a woman's body.

It is all very gay.

David Tennant's arms are too long.

The sexiest person is a head.

The Meep's pronouns are Meep. Meep is not friend. IF NOT FRIEND THEN WHY FRIEND SHAPED??????

A buttcheek skin talks or something yeah this is all I got.

have at it y'all @robinprinceofchaos @multidimensional-trashcan @wispedvellichor @queermarzipan thanks for the second hand brainrot

*sneaks away under the cover of night* i was never here

[grilde1chesse]

⇢ RESiDENT EViL HEAD CANONS

- jack krauser, leon kennedy, luis serra, ada wong, chris redfield, albert wesker, jill valentine, claire redfield, ethan winters

✧ jack krauser

transman & mlm he doesn’t listen to music often, but when he does it's metal grew up on the countryside with traditional home values (stay at home mom, "man of the house", etc. etc.) as the youngest sibling to 3 brothers. his parent's marriage wasn't one out of love, but rather convenience & societal expectations/pressure. because of this were constantly fighting & physically abusive towards Jack and his siblings. acted and presented masculine from a young age in order to prove he can be a "real" man. ran away from home to join the military at 18. he's spent most of his life away from civilian life, and because of this, he doesn't know how to function in society outside combat. ( "During his days off, Krauser often participated in mercenary work, as he felt that he could not function within society and believed that his service and the thrill of combat were what gave his life meaning." ) extremely insecure about being transgender & uses his power/rank to "make up" for it. resents his homosexuality as he sees it as the remaining "female side" of him he's unable to get rid of. because of this internalized homo/transphobia, he's extremely violent towards anyone he falls for and takes that involuntary attraction as a direct insult to his masculinity. this also ties into his childhood & how he grew up without an example of what healthy affection looks like. his hyper masculinity and borderline (if not outright) misogyny stems from his own dysphoria and insecurities. wears a packer religiously. fighting tooth and nail to not turn this into a ship brainrot ramble BUT this is why i think Krauser's so overly harsh on Leon while also favoriting him to a degree. ("Either way, this is definitely not a 'training room,' this is something Krauser, presumably, put together specifically to train Leon away from the others. There's too much clutter and nothing that would indicate that it's any sort of training area.") ALSO LOOK AT THIS EDIT PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

✧ leon s. kennedy

transman & bisexual (realistically it wouldn't be likely/possible that he'd been on testosterone long enough for his voice to change to the degree it has in re2r, as it was the 80s... BUT theres no fun in that :-) plus it explains the voice change from re2r to re4r) honorary dad & country rock lover. (canon confirmed?) listens to Nickelback, Saving Abel, Nine Inch Nails, Hinder, Breaking Benjamin, Failure, Nirvana, Avenged Sevenfold, Seether, some MCR (denies it), Shinedown & similar bands :-)!! autistic, has sensitive skin & eczema. a chronic gum chewer. it’s a comforting, absent minded movement that keeps him grounded on the job. spearmint hurts his mouth so he prefers bubble gum or less cold mint flavors. (i'm not projecting u r.) named after his father and introduces himself as Leon S. Kennedy to separate himself from him. went by Scott/Scottie in his teenage years. total mama's boy. Leon Senior was a heavy alcoholic and is where he got his drinking problems from, something Leon's incredibly insecure about as he's afraid of turning into his dad. grew up resenting his father and blames him for his mom's death. had a bit of chub before becoming an agent & grew into a dad bod/beer belly as he got older :-)!!! was extremely insecure as a teenager & child, having facial and body dysphoria both of which remained untreated & linger in his adult life somewhat. was a very light blonde when he was younger, but his hair gradually got darker as he grew up until he was a light brown/dirty blonde (cue identity crisis "am i blonde or a brunette???"). eventually, he started bleaching it. lost motivation and stopped dying it as he got older. movie buff (canon) ( "He makes a lot of references to films such as the "go medieval on your ass" line from RE4R, which is a quote from Pulp Fiction or comparing the China mission to Black Hawk Down. He also quotes a whole scene from Casablanca from memory in Vendetta (the "I never make plans that far ahead" part), so he seems to watch quite a variety of films." ) in the nicest most affectionate way possible... he is so annoying about movies actually, will not shut up with his trivia the whole time it plays. hates horror movies but will never admit it. played hockey as a kid. grew up somewhere cold & is adapted to cold temperatures (he can't stand the heat though). had a dog as a kid and used to absolutely love them (specifically bloodhounds) but he developed a phobia of them after Raccoon City (can you blame him?). no matter how badly he wants a normal domestic life (to settle down, start a family, and give his kids the childhood he never had) he’s secretly terrified of the idea. he doesn’t know how to function outside of work, even when on vacation he can’t seem to relax. (he'd probably name his kids some stupid shit like "Hunter" though, so maybe that's for the best...)

✧ luis serra

cisgender & bisexual or mlm the closest we have to a canon music taste 4 him is Barbie Girl by Aqua (hehe), BUT i'd imagine he'd be a fan of musicians like Queen, Elton John, Michael Jackson, Madonna, ABBA, Billy Joel, Dolly Parton and other artists known to be popular in queer communities!! Grew up Catholic & still holds onto some core ideologies, though in a more superstitious way than religious. while he doesn't consider himself Catholic, he still carries around a cross necklace from his childhood & prays occasionally. Valdelobos was (in canon) devoutly Catholic prior to Saddler's reign, so it makes sense for him to hold on to some of that guilt. (him signing the gross in game.) his jacket is custom-tailored. going on a biiiit of a ramble/history lesson here... but if you look up Western saddles you'll find some with floral patterns similar to Luis' jacket. it's a kind of leather carving that was APPARENTLY inspired by medieval Spanish saddles. not really relevant but a fun fact nonetheless! :-) he picked up smoking from his grandfather. extremely picky when it comes to what cigarettes he smokes. he prefers Marlboro Reds (i don't smoke (except for when i'm missing you) so idrk what i'm talking about) very sentimental & holds on to little trinkets & gifts & pictures, etc. (this is somewhat canon confirmed, seen with him holding onto the Umbrella Dream Team photo, along with the lighter.)

✧ ada wong

transwoman & arospec lesbian likes 80s pop music & typical girly ego boost stuff. stuff like Kate Bush, Lady Gaga & ABBA (she loves Babooshka by Kate Bush & Cheri Cheri Lady by Modern Talking). not sure if she'd actually listen to any of her stuff, but K. Flay's music reminds me of her, specifically The President Has A Sex Tape. mommy issues queen. was in and out of foster care her entire childhood, only to end up back with her mom every time. she's extremely self-sufficient and refuses to rely or depend on anyone due to her childhood history of neglect. essentially raised herself. picked up smoking from her mother and absolutely hates it. she only falls back on nicotine when doing horribly. she carries cigarettes around with her on missions, just in case. has cherry blossom lip gloss and re-applies it religiously. has drop foot (i genuinely can’t think of any other sensible reason she’d always been wearing heels </3). used to like true crime when she was younger. she has issues identifying her feelings and honestly doesn’t care enough to work through them. she isn’t sure if she even likes some people at all. she can’t apart affection and finding someone useful. either way, she wants certain people around/safe and she isn’t sure why.

✧ chris redfield

cisgender & mlm canonically listens to Queen and is generally just a big music fan!! (him and Claire's "Made in Heaven" jackets + the Gibson Les Paul at his desk in the S.T.A.R.S. office :-)) listens to Queen, The Mashing Pumpkins, Fleetwood Mac, the Foo Fighters, (some) Nirvana, AC/DC, KISS, Van Halen, Iron Maden, Black Sabeth, The Fray, Failure, Kings of Leon & similar bands ^_^!! likely disabled after that TBI in Edonia (i'd imagine there'd be some long-term consequences from hitting ur head so hard u get amnesia for 6 months). total adrenaline junkie with a savior complex. has an extremely high pain tolerance. he cannot fucking hear oh my god... please get him a hearing aid its so bad. was the stereotypical overprotective brother when he and Claire were younger, always scaring the shit out of anyone she brought home. used to take her to junk yards for shooting practice (she shot herself in the leg once... oopsies!) probably smells like a dog & uses 4 in 1 shampoo. stinky vermin. can’t cook for the life of him; lives off microwaveable meals. surprisingly organized, considering how messy he used to be in his younger years. plays the guitar (canon) & has a Gibson. Shy about his singing voice, so it's rare to hear, but i'd imagine it sounds similar to Isaac Slade's (lead singer of The Fray), just a bit deeper/gruffier. extremely good with dogs - actually considered being a dog trainer when he was younger. has a German Shepherd & a Bernese Mountain Dog, both are extremely well trained. canonically hates the rich, and is anti-capitalist lol. it's likely he was discharged from the Air Force for talking back to his superiors. would be an amazing dad but is terrified of the idea of settling down. no matter how badly he wants to have a domestic life he doesn’t know how to adapt to it. has a matching tattoo with Claire!! ^_^

✧ albert wesker

aro/ase spec & pan has autism, ASPD, NPD & a god complex (he has no idea what most of those labels mean & sees any attempts at people diagnosing him as useless and a waste of time). sensory issues & sensitive eyes because of Uroboros (leads to overstimulation sometimes, which makes him even more of a grumpy bitch). has an insane skincare routine. listens to classical music & 80s crap. while he originally got with ms. Muller with the goal of having a child, Wesker was unaware of Jake's birth. he deemed her as suitable as she had desirable traits that he wanted to carry on but never knew she actually got pregnant. suppresses/ignores any sexual thoughts/urges he has, as he views sexual impulses as a weakness and looks down on it. he sees himself as better than the average person because of his ability to control this. walked on his toes as a kid. most lights are too bright for him (hence the sunglasses wearing indoors). gets extremely frustrated if his plants or routine get interrupted or even slightly changed. sits in a dark room to de stimulate when needed, sometimes he reads, other times he just zones out. weird about how he treats Neurotypical ppl lol (treats them as they would Neurodivergents; like his experiences are the social norm & any other way of living is alien and outlandish). doesn’t smoke often but when he does he prefers Camels or Marlboro Blues (again, i don’t smoke so idrk). speaks some German & Latin (Latin from virus names and yada yada sciencey stuff)

✧ jill valentine

cisgender & lesbian listens to riot grrrl music (bikini kill), Deftones, System of a Down, Paramore, Drowning Pool, Slipknot, Depeche Mode, TOOL, Soundgarden, Papa Roach, Breaking Benjamin & similar bands while the S.D. Perry novels aren't canon i rlly like how they depicted her childhood (along with it being the only "official" backstory for her we have). the idea of her dad being a crime boss explains her knowledge of lock picking & ability to keep a level head. she definitely had a few run-ins with the law as a kid. she has a little sister. has a Russian Blue cat & her favorite fruit are pears. can speak some french, though not too well due to lack of use. she has fairly thick hair and an undercut that she refuses to have shaved professionally. she likes cutting her hair herself, and refuses to pay to have it done. normally she has a friend or whoever's available cut it for her in exchange for a couple bucks. still has blonde hair from re5, but dyes it (Wesker absolutely killed the melanin in her skin and hair). she has blonde streaks & roots due to lack of free time to re-dye. has heightened abilities from lingering effects of the P30 drug (strength, perception time, speed, etc.). has a permanent scar on her chest from the P30 device.

✧ claire redfield

cisgender & bisexual/lesbian listens to Queen (canon), Stevie Nicks, Heart, Led Zeppelin, the Runaways, KISS, Fleetwood Mac, AC/DC, Nirvana, Bon Jovi, No Doubt, Petal, The Killers, Jack Off Jill, The Smiths, Smashing Pumpkins & similar bands. Chris used to take her out to junkyards to practice shooting together (accidentally shot herself in the leg once after shooting at metal... oopsies :-)!!) dyes her hair auburn & hates wearing it down. has a crazy high pain tolerance (runs in the family) and used to get hurt a lot on accident as a kid (doing stupid shit like messing around with fire or blades). Autumn is her favorite season. messy, brash & assertive, & i’m sick of pretending she’s not </3. she was raised by Chris, no way is her room organized. has probably punched at least one person for saying some stupid bigoted shit. would be a great mom tbh. loves cherry-flavored stuff. has a matching tattoo with Chris!! ^_^

✧ ethan winters

transgender & bisexual autistic. has small nervous tics that come and go seemingly at random. not big on music. he just likes it as background noise. prefers instrumental music, like classical and jazz (somewhat canon), maybe a bit of dad rock. i think he'd like Earth Angel (Will You Be Mine) by The Penguins & Why Do You Let Me Stay Here? by She & Him! used to collect trading cards as a kid. he didn't exactly know how to play, he just likes how they look and feel. "standard" childhood, married middle-class parents with stable jobs yada yada yada. grew up in Texas (where he eventually met Mia) and spent a good portion of his life completely oblivious to the concept of being trans. once finding out he was trans he and Mia moved to California and he started T. talks to himself. could probably grow his limbs back starfish-style if he gave them enough time/didn't cover his fingers up with bandages (like Lucas did when Jack cut his arm off). has a favorite dinosaur. hates horror movies. so many movie & pop culture references... the dad jokes never end. 100% a reddit user. absolute sucker for compliments.

[otaku553]

Hello! I saw your recent art of sabo, and in the tags you mentioned the big 3 of Shounen. I know it’s One piece and Naruto, but what’s the third? How come you like the character? Lovely artwork, it’s candy for the soul!! Thank you •u•

Ah thank you!!! The big three of shonen (for I guess the previous generation?) are Naruto, One Piece, and Bleach. Naruto and Bleach have already ended but it seems like One Piece is still going quite strong, despite the new generation of shonen anime (including Hero Aca, Demon Slayer, and the third spot is still debated! Probably JJK is my guess though that falls into its own sub genre of shonen dark fantasy I suppose)

Here are my favs! I’ll put the reasons why I like them in the read more because it’s quite long :)

Despite watching Naruto first I could never actually finish it because it was so long so I kind of just osmosed the later parts of shippuden through fanfics and other such media ^^; I think it’s pretty difficult to pick a definitive fav for Naruto because I feel like it tends to fumble a bit of its character writing? I think if I had to pick one maybe young Kakashi but still kind of eh. Maybe I just didn’t watch far enough to get attached

As for Bleach, I picked it up years ago around middle school and then dropped it after the first hundred episodes or so because filler got boring for younger me but then I picked it up again in high school and managed to at least get past aizen! And then I dropped it there because I wasn’t interested in any continuation after what seemed like an already pretty strong ending.

Toshiro is my favorite because he falls into all niches of character tropes that I enjoy including but not limited to: child genius who acts responsible but is still somewhat immature, cold personality along with ice powers but fierce loyalty to close relationships. I especially enjoy child genius characters for the contradictory dichotomy of what is expected of them in terms of maturity and knowledge and the amount of pressure these kinds of characters face and how they handle it! That said, I enjoy him more for the tropes that he falls into and my personal interpretation of him rather than canon writing for him. I think that though canon is an alright base, he doesn’t get much time to shine (character-wise instead of combat-wise).

And Sabo. Oh my goodness I am brainrotting so hard over Sabo right now. The ASL siblings in general have a vice grip on my heart and really are not letting go. There is so much tragedy in the way that they are written, that works because there are three of them. Ace and Luffy spend so much effort trying to save the only brother they have left in the world not realizing that if they go they’ll be the first to go actually because Sabo is still alive, and Sabo could have done so much and changed so much if only he had regained his memories sooner. Why didn’t he remember sooner? I can only assume it’s because he didn’t want to remember, because he grew out his hair to cover a scar he wasn’t proud of, because he was running away from his origins when he lost his memories and maybe that stuck with him. I don’t even remember when Sabo was introduced as a character because I don’t think he was mentioned during Marineford? But he’s such a compelling character because he does so much to save the world and yet is unable to save his own brother! And he’s written to fit with Ace and Luffy incredibly well, being the voice of reason where they can’t be.

[lugwen]

there's a discussion going on about ethos haircolor irl and how ppl draw him in fanart (check out @daily-ethoslab for more lol) so i'd like to share my headcanon.

etho used to be a blonde kid but his hair got darker to almost a dark brown in his late teens.

he started bleaching, first just to remain his blonde but as time went by he started to like the "almost white" look. he kept bleaching his roots lighter and lighter until his hair was completely white.

he does it himself to save money. and since you have to go over bleached hair with purple to get rid of the yellow (and he isn't a professional) he usually ends up with slightly purple hair (he prefers slightly purple hair over slightly yellow hair).

welcome to my brainrot, now u know why i always draw him with dark roots and slightly purple hair.

and here's etho with an hair dye fail (he was playing terraria and forgot he put the dye on)

[geekgirl750-writes]

Random Headcanons for the Scream (1996) Group

A/N Okay so I know I've been promising a bunch of fics and they will be coming...eventually. But right now I have major Scream brainrot so here are some of my headcanons for the characters

Warnings: swearing, mentions of sex, Billy & Stu being misogynistic, mentions of bullying, mentions of cheating, brief mention of alcohol, mention of murder/canon typical violence in Scream

Billy is the oldest and Randy is the youngest

More specifically the birth order goes Billy, Tatum, Sidney, Stu & then Randy

Billy & Tatum's birthdays are both in September and are two weeks apart

Sidney's birthday is in November

Stu's birthday is in late March because in my mind there is no way that man is not an Aries

Randy's birthday is only about a month after Stu's, but Stu uses any chance he gets to bring up the fact that Randy is the "baby" of the group to piss him off

For example:

Stu cuts off Randy during one of his rants about how the sinners are always punished in horror movies because, "What do you know about the sex rules in horror movies, anyways huh?! You're such a virgin, I bet you have wet dreams about Jamie Lee's breasts" Stu chuckles, blowing air in Randy's ear.

"Shut up!" Randy argues back, he feels a blush spread across his face and up to his ears.

"Aww look Billy, the baby's blushing. It is true!" Stu laughs louder.

"I'm not a baby! Your birthday is only 3 weeks before mine!" Randy pouts.

"Whatever you say, baby" Stu sticks his tongue out at Randy, devolving into a fit of laughter at his expense.

Randy has autism (I feel like this one isn't even up for debate)

Stu has ADHD and dyslexia

Tatum isn't a natural blonde:

Her real hair color is a shade of brown slightly lighter than Sidney's. She started dying her hair during junior year because she wanted to stand out more

Speaking of hair dying, Stu definitely bleached his hair sophomore year (think Tim Laflour from Senseless) just to piss off his parents

I wouldn't say Tatum is boy crazy but I think she definitely likes knowing that she can hold a man's attention

I feel like Stu and Tatum haven't been dating that long, having only gotten together about 6-8 months before the start of Scream

I also think Stu is Tatum's first real relationship

I feel like Sidney and Casey Becker would have been besties if they had gotten the chance to get closer

Tatum was always secretly a little insecure whenever Casey got brought up but if she had really gotten to know her they would've been friendly too.

I think Stu used to tell Tatum lies about Casey/ Casey & his relationship to make Tatum jealous on purpose

Literally if it wasn't for Stu then Sidney, Tatum and Casey would've been such an iconic girl group

I think in terms of distance Randy and Tatum live closest to each other, their houses are only a few blocks away from each other near the center of town

Billy also lives close to the center but heading the opposite direction from Tatum and Randy

Sidney's house is closet to Stu's with the two of them living on the outskirts of town in the more rural area.

Group hangouts & movie nights are usually at Stu's place because his house has the most space and his parents are rarely home

Occasionally Randy will host movie nights at his house but not as often as Stu because whenever the group hangs out at Randy's, Martha wants to be included

And while Randy loves his sister, they can't really watch slasher movies and drink beer with a kid hanging around

I think before Maureen was murdered the gang would hang out at Sidney's house a lot too

But after she died, Sidney found it hard to have company over because it reminded her of all the memories she had of her mom, like her baking cookies for Sid & her friends, or all the times she had begged her mom to let Tatum sleep over on a school night, and now it was too painful to try and create new happy memories in the house since she was gone

Billy always preferred hanging out at Stu's as he was finding it harder and harder to be at the Prescott's house

Each time he walked through the door he could feel his blood boiling thinking about what was going on between Sidney's mother and his father & how much of a slut Maureen was

Okay so I've found myself struggling to figure out how Randy ended up in that friend group

Because for me I think Sidney and Tatum have been best friends for forever, having been friends since the 1st grade

Stu and Billy have also been friends a long time, meeting each other in the 3rd grade when Billy's family moved to Woodsboro and the two instantly clicked.

But Randy... he feels like a bit of an outsider compared to the other boys and I doubt him and Tatum would have been friends first if it wasn't for the fact they already had mutual friends

I think Sidney was the one to introduce Randy to the group:

Like it's the 7th grade and Sidney and Tatum are a school dance (I'm imagining something like the Snow Ball from Stranger Things) and this group of popular guys come running up to them snickering being like "Our friend has a crush on you! This guy wants to ask you out... we're totally like his best friends." And Sidney can tell something is up

She sees the group of boys gesturing to this geeky looking kid sitting by himself all awkward on the bleachers and instantly knows that he's the butt of some practical joke.

"He wants to make out with you! He told me himself!" The leader of the group laughs pointing at Sidney.

"Leave us alone you creeps!" Tatum yells back, pulling her and Sidney away from the boys before they take off laughing.

And then Sidney is just standing there looking at this poor kid alone on the bleachers and before she can stop herself, she's walking over to him

Tatum is just watching her like girl wtf are you doing?!

Sidney sits down beside him and introduces herself

Needless to say Randy is shocked, like why is this cute girl talking to him of all people!?

"Hey I'm sorry those guys are such jerks! Would you like to dance with my friend and me?" Sidney asks pointing to Tatum

And then it's literally love at first sight for Randy.

Randy spends the rest of the night dancing and talking with the girls and Sidney starts to realize maybe this kid isn't all that weird and annoying after all

After the dance, Sidney and Randy start saying hi to each other in the halls or occasionally eating lunch together until it grows into a fully formed friendship

Also just because Tatum wasn't super open to Randy in the beginning doesn't mean that they're not besties now

Because they are!

I see Tatum and Randy being big time gossip buddies

Like Randy is obviously really nerdy so I see him as being the type of guy other people don't really pay attention to

Which means the more popular students will be gossiping right in front of him like he's not even there and Randy's holding on to every single word

Like one time he was sitting in the library only pretending to type up his English essay because the two girls next to him were whispering about how Christina from his biology class had not only gotten knocked up over summer break but how her boyfriend might not be the father because "Casey like totally saw her sneaking upstairs with this scary-looking guy at Steve Orth's 4th of July party"

And Randy is sitting there feeling like his head is going to explode if he doesn't immediately run and share this news with Tatum so the two can swap theories on who the mystery guy is

Stu likes to gossip too but Tatum is selective with what she tells him because he's a blabbermouth and will spread the stories all over school

I feel like the friendship as we see it in the opening of Scream didn't happen right away

Like usually it was just Billy & Stu hanging out and then Sidney & Tatum, or Randy and the girls hanging out separately

It was until freshman year that the 5 of them all started hanging out as one big group as Billy and Sidney got closer

Randy didn't want to admit it to the girls but I think he was happy at first to have some guy friends around

Although tbh Billy and Stu are more like his frenemies at best with how much they like to abuse and tease him

I like to headcanon that Randy was raised by a single mom, with his dad walking on the family when Randy was 8, leaving his mom to take care of him and Martha by herself

Because of this I think Randy can struggle a bit with his masculinity sometimes

I think before the murders he used to look to Billy and Stu as sort of guides on how to be "manly"

But as he got older, like during junior/early senior year, he started to see just how much of misogynistic jerks the two were

I think Randy is closer to Stu than Billy

Like during the rare moments where Stu isn't making fun of him they actually have similar interests in terms of movies and will chat about that

I don't think Randy ever really liked Billy as he always saw him as a sort of competition for Sidney's affection

But I feel like he tried to make an effort to get along with Billy until the start of their junior year:

Billy's mom had left him and his dad under mysterious circumstances a week before the start of the new school year & Billy had been acting a little more off than usual

Randy feeling empathetic towards him and remembering what it was like when his dad left tried to start a conversation with Billy about it:

"Hey, Billy I know we've never been as close as you and Stu but if you want to talk about y'know... your mom" Randy trailed off, glancing at Billy over the door to his locker, Billy's face unreadable. "Look I remember when my dad left I-"

Before Randy could finish his sentence, Billy grabbed him by the shirt collar, shoving him harshly into the wall of lockers.

"Listen shithead! Your father ran off with his cum dump slut of a secretary," Billy sneered his face inches from Randy's, a look of anger in his eyes that Randy had never seen before. "Don't try and fucking act like you understand any of this."

Billy let go slamming him back into the lockers and storming off, leaving Randy scared and speechless.

Billy gave Randy a half assed apology later that day during lunch, saying all the stress at home was getting to him and urged Randy to keep the whole situation between the two of them

Randy agreed but never truly forgave Billy and lost all trust in him after that

Lastly, this might be controversial but I feel like the queer relationship between Stu and Billy was one sided

Like Stu definitely had a crush on Billy

And Billy liked Stu because he was "different" and "understood him", but his feelings towards Stu weren't as strong as Stu's were for him

I kinda feel like Billy used Stu's crush to manipulate him a bit

Like Stu definitely went along with the murders of his own accord because he's sick and twisted and thought they were fun

But I think Billy sold him on this lie of how the pair would be the two sole survivors and they would go on to create a sequel

While Billy cared for Stu, he wouldn't hesitate to kill him if it meant he could get away with his plan as revenge was always what was most important to him

And one thing about Stu is that guy has a big mouth

He could barely go one day without not so subtly bragging about how he and Billy murdered Casey and Steve

I doubt Billy expected him to be able to keep the whole events of the Woodsboro murders a secret for very long

Which is why I think Billy cut him a little too deeply in the kitchen scene on purpose

Stu was just his muscle and lap dog to help him carry out his big plan

Billy always saw himself as the lone "final girl" in his revenge plot so Stu bleeding out from his wounds wouldn't have been that big of an issue to him

[coldblooded-angel]

HOW IS THE CATTONQUICK ROCKSTAR AU??? GOING? PLEASE ELABORATE MORE ON THE BRAIN ROT

OH IM SO SORRY FRIEND 😭😭 its currently on hold cuz I’m writing monster hunter! felix au (and godamn the au list is LENGTHY) BUT I CAN GIVE MORE BRAINROT MMMHMM

Oliver comes from a conservative traditional family and hes their “black sheep” but only in secret cuz im placing this au in the 80s wheb rock n roll was THE DEVILS MUSIC

He escapes out the window and dresses in the sluttiest leather fits and mesh he can find. He mostly gets inspo from the other girl groupies, the ones that get pulled backstage

Also hes got secret piercings (on his nipples) definitely and a tramp stamp (think trashy im ur baby type shit)

He is just as obsessive so he has to sometimes hide from security cuz he has been caught a few times sneaking into the tour van/bus and their hotel rooms

He’s got the most disgusting collection of Felix things. Im talking cigarette butts, gum, condoms, guitar picks, underwear, a sweet towel. Mfer has drunk that mans backwash out of a bottle he is nasty 🫶

He also deals drugs (it’s how he gets close enough to Ven and Farls) uses it to steal hotel cards or to snoop of their phones for shit about Felix

He sends the most. Freaky. Graphic. Disturbing fan mails and i mean CRAZY SHIT the usual delusions of him being Felix’s soulmate and how Felix will fall for him and then also lists down all of his own qualities that Felix would love. Drops a couple of nude polas so Felix knows what he’s working with and a splash of his cologne (which is the compliment to the one Felix wears cuz duh of course he knows that)

Oliver is delusional as fuck he will physically fight any bitch that says she is Felix’s wife cuz um no hoe THAT IS ME. And he has also definitely been kicked out of venues for these fights

He box bleaches his hair blonde like crispy fry cuz Felix daid in an interview that his ideal type is blue eyes and blonde hair. Oliver’s mother has a heart attack and makes him pray the gay away

OKAY I might go on forever if I don’t stop here but groupie! Ollie is my babygirl fanboy he is #1 Felix shooter that man will fight ANYONE for him. (I hope this was good enough for now🫶🫶)

[babybratzmaraj]

Fairytale Part 2: unappreciated

Starring: Yourrage as Javion Davis

You as Yourself

Summary: After a week of being a assistant for Javion, you weren’t shit but exhausted, you just might’ve reached your breaking point. Until…

Warnings: contains foul language, dual povs, sexual content, drug and alcohol use (teehee) brief arguments (and by argument its just {REDACTED}

A/N: brainrot! im loving this series suarrr much, this is the chapter i said we will be whores on but IT WILL BURN SLOWLY AFTER THIS😭 my mind went other places, hope you enjoy this one, like comment n reblog fa mo!

Taglist: @megamindsecretlair

You had your AirPods on blasting your usual playlist, Slow Down by Bobby V. had your hips swaying like Ava from Abbott Elementary

💫Slow down, I just wanna get to know you. But don't turn around, 'Cause that pretty round thing looks good to me. Slow down, Never seen anything so lovely Now turn around And bless me with your beauty, cutie💫

You had Jay’s stream on your iPad while your music played off your phone, tapping on the right one in your ear to pause your music, you tuned in to hear his stream. He was reacting to Like That by Metro Boomin, Future, and Kendrick Lamar, and man did he love it, you heard his screams of excitement from the kitchen, you resumed your music, glad one of yall were having a good week.

It hasn’t been a full week and you were stressed the fuck out, and he did not make it better not one bit. Most days were sane and stable because Shanae was there, but on the days she had to go see her OB/GYN? felt like a badass kid in a store. The responses grew colder, he did not listen and he avoided you every chance he got, if it wasn't for the dispensary G hooked you up on, you would have been lost your shit.

You took a hit of your pen and tucked it back in your bra, washing the dishes that were left in the sink by the residents of the house.

Call it your inner mama, but cleaning with some nice music always destressed you, the dishes piled up more since you got here and it’s been bugging you every time you ask him to wash them and he completely ignores you. You reached your breaking point but you refuse to back down now, mama ain't raise no bitch!

You paused your music just in time to listen to Javion give his opinion on the song: “I fuck with all parties involved, but Drake ain’t gone do shit, Cole waiting to drop his response because we know that nigga strategic with his shit. Actually, My nigga Cole caught a stray if you think about it.”

“On god he did! My nigga Jermaine ain't do shit!” you yelled at the screen as if he could hear you, which he and his chat did.

“‘Who the fuck was that?’ Yo mama. I was banging her and she making me breakfast as we speak nigga.” He clapped back at a commenter, making you chuckle.

You felt somewhat happy that he took your defense in a way, even after all of these days he's been ignoring you, you take what you can get from the little shit.

You ignored the rest of the stream as you resumed your music again, returning your focus to the dishes still in the sink, putting some elbow grease into these dishes.

He put his stream on a commercial break to stretch his legs, thinking of a nice but not too-nice way to tell you to keep it down. Javion didn’t inform his followers that he would be having a new assistant/manager, so as of right now, you were a private residence.

He walked out of his room to hear pots and pans and plates clanging around, growing more concerned about what you were doing.

Jogging down the stairs, the closer he got, the more he realized you were doing the dishes, the smell of green apple dawn dish soap and bleach smacking his nostrils.

“Damn!” He shouted fanning his nose, “Smell like you down here cleaning a murder scene.” His comment fell on ghost’s ears as he couldn’t see your airpods.

He shook his head as he examined his newly washed dishes, he hadn’t seen any of these plates in weeks, so he picked up one to see his reflection with no problem.

“OH bashota,” he heard you breathe, turning his head to see you leaning forward clenching your heart. “Youn know how to make yourself known?” you questioned him while tapping your chest, “Giving a nigga heart palpitations.”

“I said some ‘bout a murder scene, you ain't hear that?” He sat the plate down on the sink, staring directly into your eyes.

You threw a face at him before removing an airpod, his eyebrows raising from realization. “My bad, didn’t know you was listening to something.”

“I’s forgives you massa, I’ll keeps it down.” you joked, making him smile a bit showing you his pearly whites.

“Thank you. save that pretty voice for the party tonight.” he softly hit your shoulder before turning around and walking back up the stairs.

Shit. With all the management shit and runarounds and cleaning you've been doing, you completely forgot about the party in a few hours for his 100k subscribers that he hit two days into your stay and he had to celebrate it, by throwing a house party.

You stared at the outfit you had on the bed, still trying to figure out if you were going to hide yourself in your room or force yourself to be the social butterfly you wished you were.

You bit the corner of your bottom lip, staring at your phone and then the fit. Sighing a big irked sigh, you facetimed your best friend, praying that she answered the phone.

The phone swooped and there was Megan, propping her phone on the counter chopping up onions, “What’s it to ya toots?”

“Fashion meeting pretty princess.” You propped your phone on the nightstand.

“At your service Bunny boo, what's the problem?”

“My outfit for this damn party tonight,” you rubbed your temple, “I’m afraid it's too boring.”

“Throw it on and let me decipher,” she asked politely.

You took off your hoodie and basketball shorts for the planned-out outfit, you tipped your glasses up the bridge of your nose and zipped up the jacket before stepping back into the frame.

She gave you a look before tossing the diced onions in a bowl, “Bitch don’t piss me off, I like this fit.”

“You do?” you gave yourself a once over, snapping your neck around to the mirror behind you.

“Yes, Plus who gives a fuck what the fuck you look like? It’s not they problem nor job to deal with it.” she said waving the knife around, “And if they gotta mu’fuckin problem widdit, tell 'em to give you some money!”

“Money makes the world go around.”

“All around town.” she finished, dragging all of her words making you both giggle.

“What are you even making? cutting up veggies n shit like you Gordan Ramsey.”

“I'm making me some breakfast.” she answered, pouring the egg mixture into the skillet.

“It’s 7:48 pm.” You reminded her, causing her head to jerk to the side.

“Mother if you don’t get off my phone! I is a grown-up!”

“A grown-up who probably left a piece of shell in the eggs.”

“Bye Felicia!” she hung up the phone, probably proving your point.

You chuckled and grabbed your phone, walking out of your room to hear Shanae and G having their usual bickering session, because, of course, he didn’t get the other chicken option.

You laughed to yourself, prepping your mind to tell your boss he needs to start getting ready and head downstairs. ‘Hey Jay, get ya clothes on, party starts in 10’. You rehearsed multiple times approaching his door.

You fuckin hated talking to him, not because he’s a bad person, he's great with others but shit with you, you just couldn’t understand why the fuck he resents you so much.

Kicking your nerves in the ass, you opened the door to him fully dressed and ready for the party, his room smelling like nothing but toothpaste and cologne fresh off of a Macy's commercial. “What?”

“I see you ready, so you gotta head downstairs in 5 minutes to help them with how you want everything.”

“They know how I like shit, they don’t need me or you,” He shot at you, your heart dropping into your stomach.

The way he spat his response just made you tear up, the coldness making you anxiously hot.

“Ok but still,”

“But still nothing, they don’t need me. You dismissed.” He waved you off, heating your face up to the point hell couldn’t even compete with you.

“You know the fuck what,” you finally snapped, having enough of his shit. “You wanna act like a fuckin’ female? Be my fuckin’ guest, but you ain't finna snap on me like I’m some fuckin pussy ass bitch.”

The weight that came off your shoulders was so relieving, but you weren’t done. “After this fuckin party? I QUIT! I won’t be your assistant, We both can enjoy this party, I’ll go home after. Everyone Wins! So fuck you, Jay.”

You slammed the door walking down the stairs to Shanae and Gerald's eyes bugged out like they just walked in on two people doing drugs. “Let’s go get that chicken G.” You insisted, after all, it was your last day being an assistant to this household.

You walked out of the house into the Dallas heat and it distracted you from the tears that came, your face becoming sticky and wet from the salty tears. “You Good?” G asked, placing his hand on your shoulder. “Just ready to enjoy my time.”

You stood in the corner with a red cup with your drink and a blunt intertwined with your fingers. You didn’t smoke anything besides a pen inside the house out of respect but that went out the window, plus other niggas were doing it too so boohoo.

You bopped your head to the music, You hired a DJ but you gave him some songs to play and you smiled when the song you chose played, happily sipping on your drink.

Shanae waved you over to the food table with two freshly manicured fingers mouthing something to you but you couldn’t make out what, you were a little crossfaded with the music blasting right in your ear.

After the blowup you had, You and G went shopping for drinks and you took it as a chance to buy some Russian Cream Backwoods, almost fighting G who battled with you to pay for your stuff, he won the battle when he sipped the cashier his card when you went to get other snacks.

You took one long last inhale before putting out your blunt, exhaling, you put your blunt behind your ear like a pencil.

She pulled you into a hug, rocking you both side to side, “I know he being an asshole love,” She said a little louder to compete with the music. “Do not let him fuck up your mood, enjoy this party and enjoy your time.” she broke the hug to rub your arms with her thumbs, “We will talk about this in the morning when we had enough rest and everyone is calmer.”

You smiled to hide the fact you were almost brought to tears. You had been brought to tears at the fact that someone didn’t see you as the villain, that you weren’t automatically the bad guy for standing up for yourself.

You mouthed her a sweet thank you and returned her hug with a sweeter one. “I have to use the bathroom, I’ll be back down in 10 minutes.”

She nodded and pointed to the one upstairs. The bottom one was for the guest and the residents used the upstairs one, you were glad she reminded you because you were crossfaded as fuck.

You sat down your cup and grooved up the stairs walking past your room which you locked. Glad you did, not because of people, just to keep you calm and not have one of those paranoid highs.

You finally reached the bathroom and closed the door behind you, staring at yourself in the mirror, you finally let everything out. The tears, the little curses turned into sounds of tiny wails of exhaustion, and your legs buckled but you found the support of the sink keeping you up and your feet grounded, everything you had kept from this week was coming out and it felt fuckin amazing.

You breathed short breaths until your breathing regulated, wishing you had your cup with you to drown out your sadness, you just had a blunt behind your ears which you forgot about till now.

The door opened and you quickly turned towards the wall that faced away from the door, not letting who even walked in see you weak, you hated that shit.

“You crying?” Javion asked, sounding genuinely concerned, which had you stuck. He never sounded like that towards you, which made you cry harder.

You yelped as you felt his hands pick you up as if you were as light as a baby and set you on the sink, his deep brown eyes searching for something in yours. You both were silent. No words, no movement, not even someone else to ruin the moment, just words being exchanged through eyes and all you could see were apologies and worriment.

He cupped your face in his big soft hands, rubbing away your tears with his thumb. “I’m sorry. I’m so fuckin’ sorry.” he repeated his apologies, resting his head on yours.

He wrapped his muscular arms around you as he sunk his head into the crook of your neck, rocking you both side to side, and you finally saw what you've been yearning for, been wanting to experience from him, been craving for him to be towards you, caring and loving.

“Please don’t leave, I didn’t mean it.” he begged

“You can just treat me like shit and just expect me to stay loving,” you managed to say through your tears, choking up on your words. “Breathe then speak.” He rubbed your back slowly, giving small pats in between.

You finally returned his hug, throwing your arms around his neck. You felt at ease, relieved that you two were not enemies anymore, happy that you two were having a moment, a moment you two can look back at and smile at.

He broke the hug and returned his gaze to yours, his eyes now not as heavy as before. You smiled at his face, feeling your face heated up. You felt like you were on a cloud, a goddess looking at her perfectly built god, his smile growing wider than yours, felt like you were dreaming this whole thing. “Am I dreaming?”

“This ain’t a mu’fuckin’ dream.” He smiled, locking the door beside him. You caught him looking at your lips while he licked his, “Do sum,” and he did, crashing his lips onto yours. You tasted his cherry chapstick on your mango lip gloss with a hint of Tequila. he removed your gray jacket and tossed it on the floor, returning his arms back around your body.

You didn’t know if it was the alcohol or the weed, but what you did know? you were kissing your boss and you didn’t give a fuck, guilt can settle in tomorrow morning.

The attraction you had for him before you took this position all came rushing back, the days you’d wish you can just see what he felt inside of you just made your pussy flutter, his voice was the cherry on top, you just knew he could talk you through it.

“Stay with me,” He spoke between kisses, picking you up off the sink making you tighten your grip around his neck.

“Jay!” You shrieked, grabbing onto him and he chuckled, pissing you off a little.

It ticked you but made you happier than a kid in a candy store that he was able to pick you up, you've been a big girl all your life and we’re jealous that you weren’t going able to experience shit skinny girls do, but Javion debunked your insecurities by carrying you to his room, closing the door with his foot and locking it.

He set you on the bed, standing back up to remove his beige satin pants while you removed yours, thanking god you didn’t wear granny panties tonight.

Smiling at each other with lust-filled glares, he returned on top of you, placing kisses on your neck while he slowly pressed his bulge against your wetness. “Don’t leave me,” He moaned onto your neck, hooking your legs on his shoulders as he dragged you to the edge of the bed, continuing his steady pace.

His gold chain dangled in your face as he rocked his hips into you, your moans filled the air and covered the room corner to corner, wall to wall, he just felt amazing, making you wonder what the real thing would be like.

“Fuck,” you moaned grabbing the back of your legs while he leaned in between your legs, giving you lazy sloppy kisses, his tongue desperately searching for yours.

Without breaking the kiss, he flipped you two over so that you were now on top, he laid his back down on the bed so that now you were in control, and that was all that you needed.

You rested your hands on his chest to steady yourself, breathing a shaky breath, you rocked your hips in a circle, feeling his member press into your wet entrance which boosted the little demon that sat on your right shoulder.

“Use me,” He growled, “Use me like the good little whore you are.” and you did, quickening your pace almost spelling words on his thick member.

“Fuckkk,” You both hissed in unison, his hand repeatedly smacking your ass leaving pleasurable stings of pain on each cheek when you felt something form in the pit of your stomach.

“I’m finna cum, baby girl.” He gripped your hips and moved your lower half with his to match his pace, your eyes rolled to the back of your head, “Use me,” you threw back at him.

He moaned lowly, searching for your hands as he intertwined his fingers with yours. You rested your head on his chest as your legs started to shake uncontrollably, moaning into each other's ears as he rutted into you through each other's orgasms.

“Ou, Fuck!” you shook for a few minutes until you went completely numb, twitching whenever you felt him twitch as well.

The room that was once filled with moans was silent, with nothing but asymmetrical breathing and the bass from the music down below, you giggled loosely as he rubbed your back to bring you back to reality.

You couldn’t lie, that was the best sex-but-not-actual-sex you had in a while, didn’t even think you could do all of that but you did, and it felt good as fuck, even if it was with your boss.

You two stayed in the same position for however many minutes passed by, his chest rising and falling underneath you.

“You good?” he asked, checking his Apple watch.

“I am now.”

“Good, because I was due for a speech 20 minutes ago.” he swiftly reminded you that there was a party going on downstairs.

“SHIT!” you jumped off him and scurred to find your pants, sobering up little by little. “Why didn’t you say shit?”

“They coulda waited, they waited this much.” he smirked, raising up to pull his pants to his knees.

“Besides the point! An assistant is supposed to keep you on trac- Where is my jacket?”

“In the bathroom.”

“See! This is why I need to get sat in a corner.” you sighed before rushing out of the room to the bathroom.

He calmly walked down the stairs, immediately getting dragged by Shanae to the party area, “I’m kick yo fuckin ass, you better give this speech and hope ion kick yo skinny scrawny ass into the next eclipse.” She threatened with a smile on her face like she did this shit one too many times, and she did, it’ll be your turn soon.

She scooted him into the living room and signaled to the DJ to tone down the music, as the DJ obliged, he passed off the microphone to Jay, his smile waved across his face as he tried to find some words.

“Ian gone lie, I don’t know what the fuck to say,” The room erupted in laughter, it was very on brand for him to just blurt shit, one of the things that made him relatable and loved.

“I do want to thank the folks who followed me, this whole shit wouldn’t have even been possible without y’all. My mama, for believing in a nigga, and not kickin’ my ass out.” he nervously chuckled. “Her brother, My uncle. He ain't a man of many words, just don’t give that nigga a Budweiser and we good!” He joked with scattered laughter as a reaction. “My best friend, who I owe my whole career to,”

He zoned out until he met with your eyes, fighting a smile which he ended up losing very badly while waving you over. “And to my new assistant, who I can’t wait to share many memories with and hopefully won’t leave my ass with the coyotes.” The room stared at you along with him and gave you an applause, mouthing the words ‘We forever.’ while nobody was looking at him.

He watched you slowly approach him, shyly waving at the applauding audience. As you reached the spot next to him, he threw his arm around you, scooting you closer to him you could almost taste the cologne he reapplied before walking back down into the party.

“Thank you all, please, enjoy yall selves for the rest of the party, and don't fuck up my shit.” he ended, setting the mic on the DJ booth, scooping you away from the people of the party, away from the attention that could be drawn to you two.

“You good?” He asked, facing you towards him with his back to the crowd.

“I’m horny, high, and ready to sleep, what do you think I am?”

“One of my elite employees!” he jokingly smiled making you burst out of laughter, not caring if anyone heard you at this point. “They still want this meeting tomorrow, do you still want to go through with it?” He checked in on you, reminding you of your blowup which you wish you didn’t have, but if you didn’t, none of this would be happening.

“Yes, we just have to set shit straight, no bullshit, just gonna get it over with, and man you look sexy in this lighting,” you confessed, a chuckle leaving both of yall’s lips. “Go enjoy yourself, you can have a piece of me in the morning.” he rubbed your back, smiling at you, closing your eyes while you licked your lips.

“I’ma go get some punch, I’ll see you around boss.” you tapped his chest as you walked away, not turning around as he stared holes in each spot of your body. He shook his head and smiled, he was ready for what adventure god would throw at him, as long as you were by his side.

[mspaintbladie]

The lore is that the lore is a lie. Just kidding there is some lore but I sort of made it up on the spot, so this is rather going to be a bullet point collection of things about Bladoodle lmao I'll edit this whenever I come up with more silly thoughts (or if you want to send asks about the scrunkly doodles I'll reply and then add it to the list) 1. Bladoodle is not Blade, he's a doodle that happens to be shaped like Blade Honkai Star Rail (so to some degree that does makes him Blade). Basically he's not 1:1 Blade but you can still treat him as Blade. 2. The original Bladoodle was drawn on July 9 2023, so July 9 can be considered his birthday (yippie). He was drawn to manifest luck on Blade's banner and then the brainrot got out of hand. 3. There is an unknown number of Bladoodles: the original, a bunch of clones of various sizes and other variations of himself (like Kitren) 4. A group of Bladoodles is called a sketch rack because I like making awful puns 5. Sesame Cake doesn't count in the sketch rack because he's meant to be more like the in-game Sesame Cake rather than a simplified doodle 6. Some Bladoodles have a Yingscribble counterpart to them. Just like Bladoodle isn't Blade, Yingscribble is not Yingxing but a scribble that looks like Yingxing 7. Yingscribbles are fewer in number compared to Bladoodles. Neither of them know why (the real reason is I thought it was funny to have an unbalanced ratio, Yingscribble is like a shiny Pokemon) 8. Bladoodle and Yingscribble don't really get along and are pretty much always fighting 9. Bleaching a Bladoodle or recoloring a Yingscribble won't swap them, though they might do that themselves to mess with eachother on purpose 10. All doodles exist either in my headspace or in the canvas and they behave like scrunkly menaces or just, exist 11. All doodles are essentially immortal, unless the files that contain them are deleted

12. Bladoodles don't like to talk, they mostly do non-verbal communication. Yingscribbles will talk but the doodles tend to communicate in something like their own little language

13. The doodles share a basic core personality but they will develop an individual personality in different ways 14. Foxian Bladoodle isn't a Foxian because he's part borisin. The other doodles aren't exactly happy about that

15. There is one Bladoodle that got lost and currently lives in a word docx page. He's drawn with a glitter pen

16. Haloviren is aware of the 'I can be your angle or your devol' meme. Silver Wolf keeps giggling at him because of that 17. The Orengami bird is just a Blade-colored origami bird. Silver Wolf custom made one in Origami Bird Clash, but maybe there are a few real Orengami birds in the Dreamscape

[doumadono]

Do you have any blog recommendations?

You're so amazing, I love your writing! Keep doing you bb, don't let that anon get you down. *hugs* ❤

Aww, your sweet words mean the world to me! 🌟 Sending you lots of love and positivity! ❤️ When it comes to recommendations, I've got a couple of blogs in mind that I'd love to suggest to you, dear Anonnie!

@gamergirl-niffler - she's undeniably adorable and holds a special place as a loyal and dedicated friend of mine. Her blog is a treasure trove of delightful headcanons and numerous posts about games. It's definitely worth taking a look! 🎮 She's a talented writer! Following her will lead you to discover not only incredibly intriguing headcanons but also an abundance of GIFs from anime and games! ❤️

@mrskokushibo - her blog is a haven for incredible writing. As a highly talented writer, she possesses a natural ability to describe even the smallest details in the most enchanting ways. If you're a fan of Attack on Titan, Demon Slayer, and Jujutsu Kaisen, you're bound to discover a plethora of fantastic content related to these interests ❤️

@muzansfangs - undoubtedly one of the most skilled writers in the Demon Slayer & Bleach fandoms. Her storytelling prowess, intricate plot construction, and knack for leaving us on the edge with cliffhangers are simply too brilliant to overlook. And beyond her writing talent, she's a remarkably wise and lovely person! 💕 Please, consider following this talented woman!

@dabismoon - there are numerous things I'd like to express, but above all, she stands out as a talented writer. Her natural portrayal of characters consistently leaves me in awe. If you're a fan of Dabi from My Hero Academia, following her is an absolute must 💙

@ectologia - if you're a fan, much like myself, of impeccably written fics, following them is a necessity. The manner in which they construct plots and their mastery of language is so flawless that it feels like you're immersed in a captivating book. They're a creator of dark content, so if you appreciate something with a darker tone and if you desire a reading experience that borders on ecstasy, consider giving them a follow 🖤

@dabisqueen - yet another exceptionally skilled writer, who introduces us to Dabi in a multitude of fascinating settings. Her pornstar!Dabi fic is an absolute must-read for fans of this character. The way she crafts her descriptions and portrays characters immerses you fully in the story from the very first paragraph! 💙 If you're a fan of Dabi - following his Queen is a must!

@mizading - not just a gifted writer but also an incredibly sweet person. I've been with her almost since her first moments on Tumblr, and let me tell you, witnessing her growth as a writer brings me immense joy — it's like watching a star being born! ⭐ Following her will bring you a lot of nice things to read!

@shonen-brainrot - how could I overlook this small yet incredibly talented beast?! Her headcanons consistently leave me breathless — mainly focused on My Hero Academia, she introduces us to unconventional situations in her headcanon sets. Despite her immense talent, she remains super humble and is one of the kindest individuals I've encountered here. If you're a fan of MHA, giving her a follow is a definite must! ❤️

@lifeform286 - another exceptionally creative individual who also happens to be a wonderfully pleasant person to engage with! His writing and art consistently exhibit a polished and refined touch in every aspect. If you're a fan of the ShigaDabi ship from My Hero Academia, do yourself a favor and give him a follow 🤗

@bakubunny - a truly creative and talented creator! The way she describes everything keeps me super engaged in her headcanons and stories. As a multifandom writer, I'm confident you'll find something for yourself in her den! She's such a gifted writer, and I aspire to be as good as she is one day!

Among the numerous blogs I follow and adore, these stand out as my absolute favorites due to my deep appreciation for their writing 📝

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

the baftas: my eyes need bleach after the livestream chat.

I SAID I WOULD COME TO TUMBLR AND SLUT-SHAME ALL OF YOU, AND YOU BET YOUR GODDAMN BILDADDY I'M HERE TO DO IT. First, a huge thank you to @good-usernames-were-taken, Valerie, for enabling this entire chaos and streaming it. And of course to Disappointment the Main Maggot.

Second, as per requests from you maggots, I have to give an honourary mention to the tragic lack of an emotional support gaseous orange, the late half-eaten packet of Lays on my desk, and my nearly empty can of Monster energy. Idk either, you asked for the mentions you got them.

Without further ado, presenting the BAFTA Awards 2024:

I am busy drawing out the neckline stitches of Crowley's wedding dress, when I am reminded of the stream and I crash into it midway. Little do I know what I am getting into.

Everyone is here for David Tennant. No one is here for the actual awards. This is made very clear very quickly.

KNEES. JUST KNEES. ALL EVERYONE TALKS ABOUT, THROUGHOUT THE STREAM, IS DAVID TENNANT'S KNEES. ARE YOU ALL OKAY WHAT THE FRESH HELL.

For context, David is in a kilt for the first half. I finally see why my relatives disapprove of skirts above knee-length. I never knew humanity's unholy worship of knees till I came here.

SOMEONE ASKS IF DAVID HAS TANNED HIS KNEES. MAGGOTS. PLEASE.

We interrupt our regular scheduled program of David knees to have an intense discussion about British versus French humour, and the misgendering of croissants.

RDJ wins an award and calls his wife his Alpha and Omega.

We're back to the knees. I can't handle how slutty David's knees are, says a worthy maggot.

This goes into a discussion about tickets for David's Macbeth, because, you guessed it, the kilt and the knees.

A lot of gorgeous and talented women in the BAFTAs tonight. I am floored.

I am not allowed to dwell in my awe because the chat is not a place of the lord. Curtain calls of Macbeth are discussed with unnecessary lasciviousness.

Thankfully, in the midst of this, I get a great Zodiac pattern reference for Crowley's wedding dress cummerbund. I was going to have to research the night sky for star charts but this is better.

People show their beautiful brainrot-induced Doc Marten purchases.

The knee thirst has moved into X-rated territory. I am terrified.

A song is sung in memory of film industry people who passed away this year, and people are sad about Dumbledore but at the same time are imagining Aziraphale and Crowley dancing to the song. The brainrot is real.

I accidentally spoil Saltburn's freakshow for someone. When I ask how I can make up for it, they say something about GOAD. I'm alarmed. Is that an OnlyFans, I ask. It's Good Omens After Dark, the chat answers. Is THAT an OnlyFans, I ask. Close enough, the chat says.

David has now changed outfits to a suit, which finally makes people pay attention to the BAFTAs, if only to alternatively thirst over the suit and bemoan the loss of knees.

Things, uh, happen, which I will have to include as quotes in another post. Cheers, @thearoacemess and @vitrilol.

Barty Crouch Jr is debated about as the Wolfstar child. Bratty Crouch Jr is said to be Crowley.

I obtain a banana, which I associate with blowjobs.

@thearoacemess talks about someone deepthroating a seven-inch banana without a hitch.

The stream does a flashback to the kilt time. It is a mistake. @queermarzipan barrels in and is being too slutty about the knees.

I tell them they need jesus, and they yell about how they've gone to mass twice today and they're an atheist.

Thankfully, @vitrilol starts chanting about the glory of Ireland. The only thing that will distract Marzipan from David Tennant is Ireland.

He proceeds to start screech-singing in all caps.

🎵IRELAND IIIRELAND TOGETHER STANDING TALLLL.🎵

The BAFTAs end. People are still thirsting over David Tennant.

🎵I KNOW YOU'RE MISSING HOME IT'S SO LONG SINCE YOU'VE BEEN🎵

Uh, more dubious things about David, suits and the absence of said suits are discussed. I'm trying my damndest not to notice.

🎵AND THE LIFE YOU HAD IN DUBLIN NOW AIN'T NOTHIN BUT A DREAM🎵

There is accidental Mascot lore: I am apparently from a different timeline (I mixed up timeline and timezone) and that's how Apollo deposited me in an illegal sushi restaurant where I became Neil Gaiman and Michael Sheen's intellectual child.

I am compared to a cat.

TOM HIDDLESTON AND DAVID TENNANT WERE IN THE STAGED-LIKE THING IN THE BEGINNING AHAHAHAHAH LOKI AND CROWLEY MY TWO CELESTIAL GENDERFLUID ICONS.

OKAY so I will end the summary here and make a list of out of context quotes in a new post. Because. Boy oh boy. That deserves its own post.

[abliafina-18782]

Mr & Mr Kazansky

Pairing: Iceman X Maverick

Author's Note: @ghostlydarknight sent me on a complete brainrot imagining IceMav as Mr & Mrs Smith so I had to write it😌👀 this is a work in progress, I'll update it when I can.

ALSO I'm not claiming I own the rights to the movie, credit goes to the scriptwriter Simon Kinberg. I've just rewritten it so it works as a story and with the Icemav pairing.

Warnings: Depictions of violence, like fighting, altercations, guns and explosions. Spoilers for the movie Mr & Mrs Smith

Word count: 6k

Iceman and Maverick are secret agents that get tasked with killing each other, inspired by the movie Mr & Mrs Smith

Marriage is about trust. Period. You can have attraction, shared interests, if you don’t have trust it’s like you got an anchor, an eighty-foot sail, and no boat. You sink like a stone.

Those were the words that Tom Kazansky had built his marriage upon. For nearly ten years, he thought he’d lived a picture-perfect life. He had a successful career and lived in a two-story house mortgage-free together with his darling husband, Pete Kazansky, formerly Mitchell.

They’d met in a bar in San Diego, during karaoke night, and Tom had fallen head over heels for Pete almost the minute he saw him. The short, dark-haired man, with a grin still so boyish, had dared him into singing a duet of “You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling” and since then Tom had been hooked.

So where did it all go wrong?

Tom pondered this as he pulled into the driveway of his house, fingers drumming against the steering wheel. He narrowed his eyes and did a once-over of the house he’d once called home. No sign of Pete in any of the kitchen windows.

He parked in the garage and made his way into the house through the garage’s side door. The corridors were empty and the only indication someone might be home was the turned-on lamps. Tom slipped on his wedding band, he never wore it at work, as he passed their kitchen that looked like something straight out of an IKEA catalog.

Suddenly, Pete stood in front of him, a vodka martini in each hand.

“Perfect timing.” Pete smiled, except it didn’t reach his eyes.

For the first time in years, Tom really looked at his husband. His eyes wandered across the body he knew every nook and cranny of and checked for any sort of clue. Pete, who usually looked so ruffled from his “job” in his car shop, didn’t have as much as a strand of hair out of place.

His left hand was angled perfectly so you could see his wedding ring. He’d swapped the regular white T-shirt and jeans he usually wore for a black button-down shirt and navy blue slacks. An apron was tied around his waist and his hair had been neatly combed back. Tom thought he smelled cologne too. There wasn’t a single crease on Pete’s clothes and the perfection was suspicious.

“As always.” Tom approached his husband and took the martini from Pete’s hands, forcing a smile on his lips, “This is a nice surprise.”

“I hope so.” Pete’s gaze lingered on the martini, “You’re home early”

“I missed you.”

Tom shot his husband a smile and shifted sideways, scanning a mirror in case they would reveal something hidden, never fully turning his back against Pete. They were both on the edge, Pete craned his neck to follow Tom’s movements, their eyes equally wide open. A bottle of bleach was left out on the kitchen counter.

“I missed you too.” Pete’s lips curled into a tight smile. He motioned towards the dining room. “Shall we?”

“Yes.”

Continue reading

[vraisetzen]

https://www.tumblr.com/vraisetzen/767046956775342080/historians-will-say-that-they-were-best?source=share

hi v,

i'm afraid i'm not a 'shipper,' but i'd be curious to know:

what are your top ten favourite anime ships?

Hi! Thank you for your question!

To be honest, I've left my shipping days far behind me especially since I got into writing Reader Inserts — I can't even remember the last time I rooted enthusiastically for a ship (besides Garashir and Janeway/Chakotay from Star Trek DS9 and Voyager).

(Also, I just wanna quickly clarify that I don't actually ship Mizuki and Gegero, even if I do see/understand why they're very popular when I saw the film. I was just awestruck by the official art, haha)

And I know there's currently a ton of debate surrounding shipping, to which I'd like say that I seldom have any icks or squicks when it comes to pairings. If I dislike a ship, it's probably because of a bad experience I had with their fans. However, I would add that my favourite ships are pretty vanilla and tame, and more often than not the result of my asking, "What if these two randoms were placed in a room with one bed together?" I love a niche pairing with zero fics written for them on AO3, lol.

So yeah, I'm gonna spotlight some of my niche pairings that I enjoy quite a fair bit! All of them are het and slash ships, I'm afraid, out of sheer coincidence that most of my favourite characters are male. I do love femslash/yuri ships as well, but they're generally quite popular, so I wouldn't be contributing anything new. They're not ranked in order of preference because I love them all!

Hijikata/Otae, Gin Tama: I love Otae so, so much, and I think she gets a ton of unwarranted hate from a vocal minority of the fandom on Twitter and Reddit. The GinTae vs GinTsu debate is still very real in 2024, but I think my girl deserves a man who earns a stable income and doesn't denigrate her appearance.

Koenma/Botan, Yu Yu Hakusho: The first of many niche pairings to come. Botan is such a lovely girl who is friendly with every one, but I get a kick out of imagining the two of them getting into all sorts of trouble and shenanigans whilst nagivating the bureaucratic hell that is, well, Hell, and falling in love in the process. And have you see the official art of them together? It's so cute!

Ogata/Sai, Hikaru no Go: I was so disappointed when I didn't find any content of them both! I think Ogata would have gone insane had he been the one to stumble upon Sai's Go board, before falling in love with him, and then into despair as he realised he cannot touch the one person he loved and idolised the most.

Muzan/Tamayo, Kimetsu no Yaiba: As a KnY fic writer, I feel obliged to include at least one ship from this fandom. I love all canon and fanon pairings in this work (a rare thing for me, personally), but I especially love the divorced couple dynamic between them both. The most recent season finale cemented that belief for me, and I do spend a lot of time brainrotting over their past before Muzan encountered Yoriichi.

Kusakabe/Utahime, Jujutsu Kaisen: I stumbled upon this fanart a long time ago, and thought: "Spectacular; give me 14 of them right now." He's an experienced First-Grade sorcerer who's honestly not the best teacher, she's a Second-Grade sorcerer who loves her students — they bond over their mutual irritation for Gojo and absolutely hooked up during the exchange event.

Shunsui/Ukitake, Bleach: What's there not to love about Old Men Yaoi? I've loved these two ever since I saw them, individually and a pairing, and I don't I will ever forgive Kubo for separating them in TYBW (albeit in a good way). The Hell arc was just the icing on the cake — a reverse star-crossed lovers, if you will.

Ryoga/Ranma, Ranma 1/2: I love a small-stakes rivalry, and there's something very cute about a guy who absolutely does not care about the gender of his opponent and will stop at nothing to fight them.

Shishiba/Osaragi, Sakamoto Days: Let it be known that I've clocked this couple ever since they first appeared in the manga, and I staunchly believe that they're endgame. Chapter 161 was everything — nothing can convince me otherwise that they're just mentor and mentee. Have you ever seen a mentee stroke her mentor's cheek as he laid bleeding on the ground, saying: "I'll be right back. Don't die"? Yeah, I thought so.

Mitsui/Yohei, Slam Dunk: I wish I could give a better explanation for why I love them so much, but really — the moment I saw Yohei beating the crap out of Mitsui with relative ease and zero effort despite being the smaller guy, I just felt the yaoi monster stirring in its sleep and shaking my bones. A former student athlete-turned-delinquent crossing paths with an actual delinquent makes for such fantastic tension, really.

Jotaro/Kira, JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: I actually thought very long and hard about my favourite JJBA ship, because, like KnY, I love all of the characters and have no issue with either canon or fanon pairings. But then, I saw this fanart of JoKira/KiraJo, and it scratched such a specific itch inside my head that I have not been the same ever since.

Here it is! I had an fun time thinking about my favourite ships and choosing those that were truly obscure; some of them — HijiTae and ShunUki — are fairly popular, but I think my preference for them trumped any other rarepair I could have thought of for that fanbase.

xoxo, V ♥️

[masterwords]

Hi 3&30&56 if you don't mind<3<3<3

Of course I don't mind! I'll talk about these fools all day every day. I haven't watched much CM lately (which is very rare for me, I'm a lifer with this damn show and the brainrot but I've been very up in SWAT these last few months) so I'm missing them big time. Thank you for indulging me!

3. Do they wear the other’s clothes? (sweatshirt, bandana, necklace, etc.)

Absolutely. I think Hotch steals a lot of Derek's really worn in clothes, especially his sweatshirts. Hotch walking around their home on a Saturday in a Northwestern Law sweatshirt with ragged cuffs and bleach spots and missing drawstrings for the hood, this decades old sweatshirt that Derek shoves in the back of his drawer and Hotch fishes out because it's so so soft. And Derek definitely sneaks into Hotch's tie collection when he's got to dress up.

30. Your OTP gets to pick out each other's outfits; what is each wearing?

I shall tell this tale in photos.

Derek is putting Hotch in pure, unadulterated casual. The kind of thing no one but him ever gets to see. Hotch looks great in suits, great in everything, but t-shirts are an indulgence. And he's putting Hotch in jeans, really expensive dark jeans so he can hook his thumb through a belt loop and tug him close.

And Hotch is going to put Derek in this sweater, not much caring about the rest. This sweater is indulgent and it makes Derek look so soft and warm. It's probably a mistake, because all he can think about is being close and if he can't be, well then it's just torture.

56. What do they do turn the other on/put them in the mood?

Derek was born in the mood. It doesn't take much. The sight of Hotch in a certain pair of shorts after a long run, the way the water drips down his spine after a shower, the curve of his lower back when it peeks out from beneath his t-shirt as he bends over...Derek is there and waiting. And I'm willing to bet Hotch isn't far from it, he is just a mortal man after all and Derek is very easy on the eyes...he's just a little more timid and a little more duty-oriented. He's got a list of things to accomplish a mile long every single day and that doesn't leave much time for things that are purely for his own pleasure. If Derek wants to get Hotch there, he'll make sure everything is in its place - the dishes are done, the tasks are checked off, the office is shut down and the house is secure. He just needs to make sure the only thing on Hotch's to do list is him. And if there's just too much and he doesn't want to wait, well he's stronger than Hotch...it's not too hard to just manhandle him a bit. Hotch will protest weakly but he won't mind in the end. Even if he does have to get up and load the dishwasher afterward.

want me to talk about hotchgan? i will...at length...and hey, if you don't vibe with those questions, ask some of your own. i'll talk about them all day.

[spacebuck]

Fandom get to know me better!!

Tagged by @voxofthevoid thank youuuuu you caught me at a time I can actually do this jcjfjcndnd

Three ships I like

Haikaveh

Argenthill

Wriolette

As much as I still have my lowkey long term ships they're definitely backgrounded to hoyo brainrot. Though satosugu is swinging back in to kick me in the gut and Hua Cheng is always a mood with his adoration of Xie Lian

first ship ever

Oh god. I didn't really Do or Get shipping initially but. Probably deancas. Yeah. Deancas.

last song i heard

Ascensionism by sleep token. Unless you count the penacony fight music

favourite childhood book

The series I remember most is deltora quest!!

currently reading

Tgcf. Again.

currently watching

JJK S2! We're a little behind because we watched 200 episodes of bleach then got aggressively into Dan and Phil play the Sims for a bit but it's fine we're fine.

currently consuming

Nothing it's 10.35pm lmao

currently craving

Vox said soda and now I want a fizzy but. I will not have. It's bedtime. Why must you curse me with this

Tagging! @frostbitebakery @slutaciouslestat @birkholtz why won't it let me tag youuuuu