#hey what is my problem

[beetlebongos]

[hinamie]

mentor

[slushy-sash]

why is bro in port ormos when he works at the akademiya

[possiblyawesometmblr]

i'm allowing myself exactly one (1) moment of pure delusion:

jon martin jonah. thanks for your time.

[egophiliac]

innocently logging in to look at the Twst schedule for May like

[omaano]

Boba and Fennec about to reluctantly do the right thing and stop a bank robbery - for the @wildwestzine "For a Fistful of Credits".

I am so so happy that I got to be a part of this zine! ❤️

[lifemod17]

"that's the kind of love, I've been dreaming of"

Edmonton Folk Music Festival || 08/08/2019

And uhhh... gif version for you know. Science purposes...

[melverie]

Sometimes I'm doing well, and then other times Lucifer's level 30 intimacy phone call in Nightbringer suddenly comes back to mind, and I am once again reminded how Lucifer is so utterly desperate to connect with Satan in any way. It doesn't even have to be meaningful; just having his brother despise him a tiny bit less than before would already be more than enough

And when they finally do make the tiniest, most insignficant amount of progress imaginable, Lucifer is so overjoyed about it that he ends up celebrating with a horn of Demonus......or two, maybe three... Might as well finish the bottle. Let's open another one! And another, and another, and another! We've got to celebrate tonight, after all! Hm? No, he isn't drunk MC, what a stupid question to even ask. Here, he'll drink some more just to prove it! Then after that--!

And all that because he and Satan managed to hold a conversation for a minute longer than usual

[zarnzarn]

Penelope owns a golden chain.

It is a thick, large piece with two cuffs connected to one end of it, made of robust metal that still shines beautifully years later. It stretches perhaps some four metres, at most, and the clasp in the middle allows her to twist it tighter if she wants it to. The blacksmith she had commissioned it from had given her two copies of the key- one of which she'd tossed off of a high cliff, and the other that she keeps safe in a locked box in her room.

It can clasp to her bed, to the throne and to the bath flooring. She had it enchanted by a witch on the run from a neighbouring kingdom in exchange for security, to never cross the limits of the shoreline- so she never loses it, she'd said. She had won a favour off an alchemist in a bet and gotten it spelled to never break. She polishes it every day carefully to look it's best before she leaves the room.

It has only one use.

"I will hobble you like a horse," She hisses to her husband when he returns to her after twenty years. Adjusts herself and leans down to whisper in his ear, "I will chain you down like a common beast, cut out that silver tongue of yours so you can no longer get into trouble, break your fucking legs."

The chain clinks as Odysseus gasps for air. Penelope smiles and traces the edge of his adoring, breathless grin. "You are not allowed to leave me ever again."

Penelope owns a golden chain.

It looks wonderful around her husband's feet.

[carrotsofthepirabbean]

bttf au where they send Jennifer (criminally underused) to retrieve the sports almanac to avoid the tremendous problem of Marty accidentally meeting himself, which instead causes some tremendous other problems

[triglycercule]

horror being very specific with table manners and he berates people (dust and killer) for eating like fucking pigs

i think it'd be morbidly funny that because there was no food in horrortale but the cutlery and stuff was all there that maybe he would pretend to eat with no food on the plate. it was in a satirical way that he would joke maybe around horror paps or alone where he would pretend to eat and have really good table manners but then the satire joke became REAL and now horror is incredibly specific about how to eat food

you MUST hold the fork in the left and knife in right says horror. no killer you can't duel wield the fucking knives this is a table not a slaughterhouse. dust pick up your elbows off the table. actually how about you get your entire upper body off the table tf why are you SLEEPING ON THE FOOD??? killer's sitting fetal position in the chair because of course he wouldn't sit normally like the idiot he is. dust is forced to put his hood down and reveal his face no more mysterious shadow style because it puts horror at ease. they cannot have a single peaceful meal because once they get past the table manners phase it then becomes a completion to see who can eat the least (because they suck at everything including eating)

[crnl-chicken-tots]

Millions of people have watched Deadpool and Wolverine since opening day. that being said-

There has to be several if not hundreds, maybe a few thousands of people with one, right??? I wanna know how many Honda Odyssey owners are now haunted by the atrocities those two committed in one right now

imagine having to go to work in an odyssey and getting stuck in traffic with enough time to think about that scene and then some

Nevertheless I'm hoping Honda's sales are peaking right now, I'm rooting for them after giving us that gift

[avocado62524]

[unknownarmageddon]

killer receiving a handwritten letter from cross in an envelope and when he opens it he licks the seal where cross would’ve hours prior

[daily-xisuma]

[047] Applied my version of Doom's partial invisibility fuzz effect and an accidental offshoot I created in the process, heehee :-)

[ahalliance]

American-validated Frenchge 🥖

transcript below

[Video Transcript begins:

[Video starts mid-sentence]

Etoiles: —and you put this face— next to the camera! Like this!

Foolish: (laughing) You’re so French!

Etoiles: I’m so French, that’s my main problem. Like I’m so French, I try sometimes to nerf myself and be like, less French

Etoiles: But that feels good to hear this because you say I’m so French and like, some racist people in France think I’m not because I’m Arabic too, so—

Foolish: Ohhhh

Etoiles: —that feels good too, you know

Foolish: No dude, you seem like a French ass French person—

Etoiles: (laughing)

Foolish: I don’t know how else to put it. Simply put

Etoiles: That feels good, man. I was saying hello to Tarik and all his chat was saying like Frenchge, the emote they are putting—

Foolish: Oh yeah

Etoiles: —the emote they are putting. Yeah, yeah, yeah

Video Transcript ends.]