#hey u wanna commit war crimes together? | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

straighttohellbuddy · 3 years ago

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lost my mind in a wedding gown {Dream}

Summary: Now everyone knows. Now everyone has an opinion. Sometimes you just want to make impulsive decisions with the one you love because you love them, without worrying what the world will think.

A/N: 5431 words. sickeningly fluffy. seriously, it gets so sweet its kind of gross. i love this universe, and yes there will be a part 4, which will be the final part. please let me know what you think. idk how i feel abt this fic, please gimme feedback if u have any :)

Warnings: heavily implied nsfw.

{ Idiots-To-Lovers 'verse } | { 3 / 4 }

How did you get here? In the grand scheme of your life, what moments lead to here, to standing in Dream and Sapnap's kitchen at three in the morning in your pyjamas, frozen where you'd been looking through the cupboards for something to snack on. Sapnap stood in his doorway, also dead still, gaze locked with yours, his monitors alight behind him where he was still streaming.

"Do you actually live here?" He asks, finally breaking the silence, bewildered by the whole situation with exhausted amusement heavy in his voice, "why are you in my cupboard?"

"There's no labels," you pointed out, slowly closing the cupboard again, "what are you playing?"

And while you'd only come out to grab a snack because you couldn't sleep, you end up joining Sapnap for the end of his stream, chattering away with him as he played Valorant.

"I'm not gonna say some gross, cutesy shit on Sapnap's stream-" you said around a yawn while chat was asking why you were up at this hour.

"Glad to hear you've learned some self control," he smirked, focused on the game in front of him as you leaned on the arm of his chair, your head on his shoulder.

"I was refraining for their sake, not yours," you sniped back with a grin of your own, which had him laughing, "I was too tired to be a menace about thirty seconds ago but I feel a burst of energy coming on."

"Hey, don't be all cute and gross and torture my chat just to get back at me," he warned, "that's violates the Geneva Conventions you know." A long pause follows, and for the barest moment he's worried that he's genuinely upset you in your tired state, and he casts a glance at you, trying to gauge your reaction, only to see your face all scrunched up in thought.

"You okay there?"

"I don't wanna get cancelled because people clip that out of context and think I commit war crimes," you huffed after a moment, realising too late that since you'd spoken it into existence, people were almost definitely going to start jokingly cancelling you for war crimes. Sapnap, on the other hand, who hadn't been expected anything like that response, barks a laugh, grinning from ear to ear.

"Anyway," you say loudly, "Dream's been editing for the past few hours and I didn't want to distract him while he was in the zone, but I..." you made a hesitant hum in the back of your throat, turning to press your forehead against Sapnap's shoulder, even if he didn't have a facecam on, you felt as though you needed to hide your embarrassment, "I was having trouble sleeping alone, okay?"

"So you try and steal my food and decided to bother me?" He says, tone holding nothing but affection for you, thankfully deciding not to tease you for your sappier admission.

"Naturally," you grin, faint embarrassment alleviated, moving your head back to rest on his shoulder as you watched him play.

"You're more of a cat than Patches sometimes."

As if to prove his point, you reach out and swipe at the empty water bottle at the edge of his desk, knocking it to the ground, grinning from ear to ear.

With the stream, however, there's confusion online over the next few days, casual observers coming out of the woodworks wondering when you'd moved in with the boys. Many of your followers corrected them kindly, but it had still sparked something in your mind, an idea, a concept you were hesitant to bring up.

You haven't been keeping count, persay, but you and Dream had been together for more than a few months now, had been close friends for years before that, and as like Sapnap liked to point out whenever he was in a petty mood, you did practically live with them already.

Still nervous when you finally bring it up, you're met with a grin, with a laugh from your boyfriend as he points out that you've been paying rent on a place you're pretty much using as storage, which was dumb when it's not like their house is small, it's not like there's not room for you. Heart beating in your throat, you realise he's agreeing, something in his eyes saying we should have done this sooner.

And you're quiet about it online until it's all said and done. Going radio silent for the week in which you're moving, you still don't quite believe it's really happening. There's a moment where you're standing in your kitchen, taping up one of the final boxes full of your belongings, while you can hear Dream and Sapnap trying to logistically work out how they were going to get your sofa through your door and into the elevator, when you find yourself overwhelmed with love and appreciation for them. This was really happening, your life was moving forward; you're actually moving in with your best friends, one of whom happens to be your boyfriend. Part of you had never expected to get here.

"I think I had a dream like this once," you tell them with a slight frown, "weird," and you leave it at that. You don't tell them that they'd broken your sofa trying to fit it through the door in your dream. It didn't matter now. Perhaps you'd been afraid that moving meant changing who you were to fit in with them, though now you see that couldn't be further from the truth.

"Now it's your turn, Gogy," you can't help the contented little sigh that escapes you as you flop back onto your sofa, gazing up at the roof of your new-but-familiar bedroom you now officially shared with Dream. George, giving you a fond smile through the screen of your phone, jokingly asks if there's even room for him, "a whole spare room is waiting for you," you assured. There's something fond in his smile, thinking aloud about how long it would be until he's properly able to come over and join the three of you. Soon, is the only conclusion he can come to, soon, but even so, it doesn't feel soon enough.

However, until George does arrive, you'd been able to commandeer the spare room, that had originally just been for storage, for your gaming set up while you looked into nearby cheap office spaces.

"Yeah, I moved some thing in my background," you gave a little chuckle at the start of your first stream after your move, to which the chat was up in arms with confusion.

[THE WHOLE BATHROOM DOOR? YOU MOVED THE WHOLE BATHROOM DOOR???????] one donated, which had you cackling with laughter, not able to keep up the ruse for the first five minutes of being live. As if on cue, however, before you can even answer them, the door opens.

"How the tables turn; now I can bother you when I'm bored and you're streaming," Sapnap told you, and you don't even have to look at your screen to know that chat is already connecting the dots.

"Hey, that's my job," Dream shouts from the living room.

"You do that anyways," Sapnap rolls his eyes with a good-natured amusement, "but now they've got a facecam, you guys can't be gross on their streams anymore." There's a beat of silence, before both yourself and Dream point out that you'd just turn off or cover your camera for him.

"You guys are the worst," he tells you both, matter-of-factly as he strides into the spare room and rests his chin on the top of your head, looking at your set up and giving a wave to your camera. Chat spams his name, excited, while all you can do is roll your eyes, trying to fight back your own grin.

"You know my menacing of you and your streams is just gonna get worse now that I officially live here, right?"

"I'm aware, I've made my peace with it," his grin is all teeth and he gives you a firm pet on the head before he leaves, citing that there's a grace period of one stream after moving in before he starts to bother you properly in return.

It's not as if much changes, you'd practically already been living there after all, now your knicknacks were scattered about the house, and your clothes joined Dream's in his wardrobe, and there was something about the sense of home that filled you whenever you would wake up to light streaming through the window above you, and Dream's arm curled around you.

"You live here now," is what he says, voice a raspy whisper, still half asleep, the first time he catches sight of you smiling, almost disbelievingly, at him in the morning light. His eyes are barely cracked open, face half-pressed into the pillow, but there's a grin on his lips that is both sleepy and happy, and you curl up close to him, kissing him gently on the nose.

"I live here now," you murmur back, and tuck yourself close to him, closing your eyes but unable to stop smiling as you let yourself drift back off.

Our room. Our apartment. The phrases make you giddy every time you think of them, every time you say them, even on stream, which just endears you further to your audience, if that was even possible. Unfortunately, on the other hand -

"It's not- can you guys not speculate about what is and isn't too fast in my personal relationships?" Dream huffed an irate breath through his nose as he tried to focus on what he had be building in Minecraft, "I don't know how long you've been here, but here's a short timeline; we've been together for months, and have been super fucking close for years before that -" his phone buzzes, interrupting him.

[you okay babe?] You've messaged from the other room. Taking a moment, he takes a deep breath to try and placate his irritation at chat being weird and invasive. There is something that grows warm in his chest, however, that you're still watching him stream but not wanting to interrupt despite your proximity.

[can you come in here?] he replies quickly, and in moments, you're quietly opening the door, crossing to him without a word, pressing a warm kiss to his cheek. Even that is enough to ease the tense set of his shoulders; you stay quiet, don't make your presence known, but you remain in the room, sitting cross-legged by his chair with your forehead braced against his knee as you scrolled through your social media feeds. Occasionally he'd gently place his hand on your head, a silent moment of contact and thanks, and in turn you'd give the faintest hum of acknowledgement, and press a quick kiss to his knee.

Of course you're also getting similar comments, though your fans are surprised at the restraint you'd been showing. Dream's outburst on stream seemed out of character for someone who usually puts far more thought into how he responds to his audience; you, however, are a well documented creature of impulse.

"You should really pay me to be your PR team," Sapnap jokes when the topic comes up during an impromptu Discord Podcast; Dream and George's laughter fills the call for a few moments, but none of you seem inclined to disagree.

"You're my impulse control, there's a difference," you snort a laugh of your own, tucked up in your gaming chair on the other side of the apartment, "and only when it comes to Twitter."

"Should I be offended that you run your potentially controversial tweets past Sap before you run them past me?" Dream jokes, to which Sapnap himself was quick to shut him down.

"No, because you would have absolutely okayed 'just say you wish you were me and move on' they almost tweeted last week -"

"Yeah because it's true," Dream fired back, and you felt a warm and vaguely selfish pride bloom in your chest.

"What was it in regards to?" George asks, still half-laughing.

"Does it matter?" Both you and Dream and answer at the same time, much to your collective delight, while the other two groaned.

"You guys make sense together but that is not a compliment," George cackles, and you very kindly tell him to fuck off, "love you too, Y/N," he coos.

"The minute you land in the US it is on sight, Goggy," you warn him, though the fondness in your voice betrays your aggressive intent; you feel his absence in the moments you feel the most affection for him. There's no doubt in your mind that he'd fit easily into your life, and into this home, just as you had.

Living with Dream and Sapnap, for the record, is actually easy. You'd been worried, considering your sometimes scatter-brained nature, but if there's something that requires a reminder, or some sort of problem, they talk about it. Actually talk. It's... refreshing. It's somehow better than you'd been expecting. Communicating, huh, who would have guessed. To be fair, as everyone liked to point out, you'd practically been living there before it had become official anyways, so it really shouldn't have been a surprise that you'd fit so seamlessly into life in the spacious apartment.

Though your impulsive nature still sometimes got the better of you.

"Wanna go somewhere."

"Are you asking me or telling me?" Dream looks away from his monitor for a moment to where you're laying on the floor of his office, eyes closed and arms flopped out to the sides.

"Both?"

You're bored, an itch between your shoulder blades that isn't really there. It's a discomfort you can't shift, like you're going stir crazy. It's been a month, and it's been great, but sometimes you just need a change of scenery.

"People have been asking me to visit them and I keep thinking about it, but I kind of just want to... go somewhere. Without having to make content, you know?" Then, cracking your eyes open for a moment, you look to where he's gazing down at you with slight confusion, "you don't have to come, I just wanted to keep you up to date with where my head's at," you tell him, "in case I do just take off. Run to California for a few days."

"Run?" He gives a faint smile.

"It's only a bit further than my old apartment," your lips stretch into an amused smile, and he huffs a faint, disbelieving laugh.

"Don't run to LA."

"Only because you asked nicely," you snorted, though there was something genuine and fond in your eyes. A question, an invitation; Dream's smile grows wider.

"Road trip?"

Something in your heart lights up at the suggestion. You've never been more quick to agree.

The morning you leave for LA, Sapnap tweets out a video he had taken as he was seeing you and Dream off, with the caption [roseduo decidedly not taking the braincell on their vacation. good luck.].

The video itself is of Sapnap's face as he tells Dream specifically to not do anything stupid while you were gone.

"Too late, my dude," comes your instinctual response, and there's a moment in which his entire expression reads exasperation, right before he flips the camera to catch you using both thumbs to point at yourself in the passenger seat, while the driver's side is empty. Then after a beat, as the boot of the car slams and Dream's laughter can be heard, you deflate with faint embarrassment, as if your brain has caught up with what you've said without thinking, and you bury your face in your hands with a groan. The camera flips back around, but now Sapnap is trying to hold in laughter of his own.

"That tracks, have a good one, guys," and the video ends.

You'd announced your vacation as more of a two-week hiatus from Twitch and YouTube, but hadn't given much more information beyond that, if only to preserve some form of privacy. The first two days of your trip, you even keep yourself off of Twitter, only going on Discord to message close friends; it's the freest you've felt in a very long time.

The tail-end of Summer is a glorious time for a road-trip, you decide, windows down and warm air whipping past; all that matters is this single moment, the way you look over to see Dream singing along to the radio beside you.

You'd spent so long adoring him from afar, only to find out just how close he really was; when you think too hard about it, it all starts to overwhelm you. How had you made it here? How was this your life?

He glances over to you; you've gone quiet, he's asking if you're okay. You look back out the window, soaking in the moment as best you can.

"I had a dream like this once;" you tell him over the radio, the noise of the wind whistling past, "pretty sunset and everything," right before the car crashed; you leave that last part out. Perhaps it had been you worrying about moving too fast. Perhaps you were terrified that this good thing would end suddenly, and go up in flames. But Dream rests his hand on your thigh and gives it a faint squeeze; he tells you he loves you, easy and genuine, and you tell him you love him too, wearing a bright smile as excited butterflies fluttered around in your stomach. You turn up the music.

But still, you can't shake the thought that everyone else seems to be voicing, focused on it in a way you hadn't anticipated. Chancing a look at Twitter, you find yourself frowning as you sit cross-legged on your hotel bed for the night.

"I'm tired of being told I'm insufferable," it's the most serious you've been in a long while. Dream, stretched out on his side beside you, looks up from his own phone, propping his head up with his hand, assuring you that he doesn't think you're insufferable. Huffing with frustration, you lay back beside him, looking up at the ceiling. Turning to his, your expression is forlorn, "I wanna be nice to you online without being called gross; everyone else is weird about us now, and I miss..." scrunching up your expression, you look away, even now as a faint embarrassment hums through you, "I miss being gross and cute with you and not being treated like a fucking criminal for it."

"We're adults," you huffed, right as Dream curled an arm around your middle, pulling you closer, "we're allowed to be in love," though as you say this, you remember reading through the comments of the video Sapnap had posted several days earlier, "we're allowed to fuck, you know?"

"I am very aware," you can hear that he's holding back laughter, which, upon reflecting on the words that you'd spat with such vitriol, you can't help but laugh yourself.

"I'm tired of everyone else thinking they know better than us," his voice, as he agrees, is quiet and warm. Carefully, he shifts until he's looking down at you, an arm braced either side of you. Just the sight of him like this has your anger fading fast. You reach up to gently take hold of his cheek, "I knew you'd be part of the rest of my life one way or another from about," he considered for a moment, crease appearing above his brow as he remembered, "the third time I spoke to you? Maybe?"

"The rest of your life?" Voice softly awed, you're surprised when a blush begins to creep up his cheeks beneath your hand.

"Something like that," he mumbled, "I can't remember why, but I was talking about how I was waiting to hear back about these tryouts I'd been at, football back when we were all in high school, and you didn't even know me, but you called me a man of many talents, and then did the single most impressive burp I'd heard to that day, before you said that they'd be stupid to not put me on the team," his face scrunches up as he appears to be recalling your exact wording, still amused by the details even now.

"You remember that?" You asked, voice and smile both full of affection as you leaned up to meet him, kissing him gently as a warmth, a fondness spreads throughout your chest.

"Of course I remember that," Dream exhales a little breathlessly, laying back out beside you; when you look at him, there's that crease in his brow again, that faint irritation that you know is never directed at you, "it's what pisses me off about people saying we're moving too fast; I've loved you either platonically or romantically for years, at this point I'm pretty sure I'm making up for lost time." With that, you press your face into his shoulder, love and adoration blossoming so bright within you you're not sure how you're managing to contain it all.

"You romantic motherfucker," you mumbled, all kinds of abashed as the tension broke, and his fond laughter lit up the room, "I felt like the biggest dork in the world, and there you were, a potential footballer, getting roasted by George and Sap in Minecraft on an almost daily basis. I could not get a read on you, I just thought you..." pressing your lips together for a moment, you lifted your face to rest your chin on his shoulder; like this, when he turns to you, you're almost nose to nose. It's clear that he's intrigued by your early impression of him, "I was a weird teenager, Dream."

"I know, I was there," he smirked in an attempt to subdue his laughter.

"And you were still so fucking cool and nice; I had such a crush on you, man."

"And how'd that work out for you?" He teased, however your own words had triggered a realisation in the back of your mind, and your whole expression lights up with shock as you sit bolt upright.

"How have I been deadass in love with you for years without realising?!"

The abruptness has Dream bursting out into laughter, endeared with how thoroughly you're cursing your past self, though as he sits up properly, gently holding your cheek with one hand, his amusement softens to a gentle fondness at the sight of apology in your eyes.

"Probably the same as what happened with me; became kind of a constant truth that you ended up forgetting about it; we were kids, it's not like we knew how to properly deal with feelings like that, they just... were. And we're friends, so a lot of that love was platonic too, the same way we love George or Sap, you know?" And it's strange to hear him so concisely put into words the indescribable things you're feeling.

"Sounds like you've thought about this a lot," you muse, and to your surprise, his smile turns a little sharper, a little self deprecating even.

"Yeah, well I saw one of the stops on our trip and had a stupid, impulsive thought," he shrugged.

"You know I love stupid, impulsive thoughts," you raised your eyebrows, already invested.

"It's possibly too stupid. Possibly. It seems like a terrible idea, maybe even a little spiteful," he warned, though he's already pulling out his phone. You sit a little straighter, every word he's saying only serving to entice you further, "you know where we're staying on Friday?"

"Nevada?" You frown for a moment, and he waits for it to hit you. A moment passes, then - oh!

"Do you wanna get married in Vegas?!" You hissed with barely concealed glee at the suggestion, clutching tightly at his free hand. It was absolutely an impulsive, stupid, terrible, and spiteful idea; of course you're already in.

"I'm not saying we should get married in Vegas, but also..." he too was trying and failing to contain his excitement at the suggestion, though he did attempt to school his expression into something more serious, "one, and most importantly, I love you and I have for... you know, as we've just talked about, a very long time, but two, I do think it would be very funny to get married in Vegas." He's actively giggling; you've pretty sure you've never been more in love than in this moment.

"One, yes, obviously I love you so fucking much, but also, two, you're right, it would be hilarious," you're nodding emphatically, beaming from ear to ear. Your lips on his are enthusiastic and messy, full of joy and delight, and you find yourself babbling about how perhaps one of you should officially -

"Marry me? I mean, will you -" he's stumbling over his words but can't stop grinning, and you're pushing him back against the bed, kissing yes across his jaw, down the column of his throat, though he's quick to join you back in the moment, pulling your shirt over your head.

There's a giddiness that accompanies the next few days of the trip, a smile that doesn't leave either of your faces. As the days pass and you put more thought into it, you realise your list of reasons as to why this is actually a bad idea grows shorter and shorter. The initial exhilaration of the idea, of the proposal, has worn off, but you're still excited rather than at all hesitant. His words play on your mind more than the thousands of other comments you've received before; you've been in love with him in one way or another for almost as long as you've known him. This isn't too fast, if anything this is making up for lost time.

Somehow you manage to keep quiet about it, even to close friends. For all that they care, you know they don't understand, don't see everything leading up to this moment, they'd try to talk you out of it. Your reputation as a creature of impulse had given you the reputation of being rather thoughtless, enough so that even those close to you forgot that that wasn't the whole truth. Except you never felt like that around Dream. Impulsive, yes; genuinely stupid? No, despite what many liked to believe.

"You still down for this?" The day of the wedding, you find yourselves in a jewellery store, perusing their selection of wedding rings. When he asks this, sincerity in his voice, you turn to him without hesitation, leaning in and kissing him softly.

"I've put a lot of serious thought into it, and though teenage me might be surprised that we're getting married in Vegas, I think somehow they always knew that you'd be in..." you swallowed hard as you looked him in the eyes, overwhelmed at your own sappiness, voice going soft as you correct yourself, "that you'd be my future." The salesman very kindly gives the pair of you space as Dream pulls you close to him.

The ceremony is exactly as cheesy as Hollywood had lead you to believe, much to your delight, though somehow that doesn't detract from the moment you both say 'I do'.

The bed in your hotel is heart-shaped, covered in rose petals, the two of you had spared no expense or trope. At least you make good use of it. And the sofa. And shower. And several other spots in the expensive and beautiful and aptly named Honeymoon Suite. You get your money's worth.

"I think this means LA is our honeymoon," Dream muses over a delicious room-service breakfast the following morning. With a faint huff of laughter, you realise he's right. You've still got over a week left of your vacation, though since you were self employed, you could always take a few more days, if you'd really like to luxuriate in LA.

"Dude, we're married," you mutter with a faint grin from where you're lazing back on the bed with only the sheets for modesty, gazing at him in the morning light.

"We're so married," he agrees, leaning back, away from his tray of food, to kiss you sweetly.

"I kind of don't want to tell anyone," voice soft, you can't help but give a contented little sigh, "not even any of our friends, not until we get back to Florida."

"Just us," he agreed faintly, grinning against your lips as his hands find your bare skin beneath the sheets.

As far as anyone else is concerned, you and Dream took a vacation. He takes photos of you lit by sunset for you to post online - "Wait could you see the ring in that shot? I don't wanna take it off, I'll just put my hand behind my back or something." - and the two of you continue to bully each other on Twitter, and interact with your friends and fans like nothing of real note has happened.

There was paperwork you'd have to fill out, red tape and legalities that come with marriage, but as you're speeding down the highway, you look over and see his hands on the wheel, his ring understated and perfect on his finger.

The world could call you insufferable for being in love, you are the happiest you've ever been. The world could say anything they liked about you, you wouldn't care. Through sheer, dumb luck you'd finally acted on your feelings for each other all those months ago, and you don't think things could have worked out better.

At home, Sapnap hugs you both tightly the minute you step through the door, asking how the trip went. You and Dream had spent so much time theorizing how to break the news, but all of that seemed to have left your heads at his questions. Looking at your now-husband, you raise your eyebrows, while your housemate looks between the two of you with mounting apprehension. Dream nods for you to take the lead. There's that giddiness again, starting in your chest, every time you think about your reality -

"We got married," you're trying not to actively show how overjoyed the single sentence makes you feel, especially not when Sapnap looks like he doesn't quite believe you, blinking rapidly as he looks sharply to Dream for some sort of clarification.

"Legally and everything," and Dream holds up his left hand, an action which you mirror. It takes several seconds before Sapnap's eyes seem to bug out of his head.

"For real?!" And thankfully, he sounds delighted, pulling you both in for another, tighter hug this time when you confirm, again. "Of course- driving through Vegas, of course -" he's rambling, stepping back with a wide, proud smile, "guys," he enthuses. Something about his reaction had you breathing a sigh of relief; you'd been so worried that he'd reprimand you, not trust either of you to have thought this through. But you find yourself remember that he has known you both as long as you'd known each other, he and George had known the two of you had feelings for each other before either you or Dream did, part of him must have known this was coming.

He's a little smug to know that he's the first person either of you had told, though as soon as you get to your room, you and Dream call George to give him the news. His reaction, just as Sapnap's was, was full of pride and joy for you both.

Tomorrow, the paperwork would begin, and you would get back to creating content, but this afternoon, you unpack and unwind from somehow the biggest two weeks of your life, kicking the door closed when you're finally done.

Sitting on his bed by the window you can't help but grin out at the sunrise, soaking up the moment you find yourself in. Dream sprawls out beside you, on his side with his head propped up, something adoring in his gaze.

"I had a dream like this once," you tell him faintly, stretching out, flopping on your back on his bed, the afternoon golden where it pours through the window from the outside world. Reaching up, the gold wedding band glints in the sunlight from it's place on your finger. Beside you, Dream reaches out into the sunlight, his hand by yours, his gold ring being your perfect match; he makes a noise of interest in the back of his throat, and you lower your hand to your chest as you turn to look at him, your smirk sharp, "yeah, we were wearing less clothes."

{finale: don't think i'll ever get enough}

#dreamwastaken #dreamwastaken imagine #dreamwastaken x reader #dream x reader #dream imagine #dream #sapnap imagine #cyltlanp #idiots to lovers

421 notes · View notes

literaphobe · 4 years ago

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hey queen tell me your favourite thing about the george/quackity/dream dynamic <3

oh god hari yeah u know what fuck it lets go its time (i love how u said favorite ‘thing’ as if i can pick one singular quality anyway here we go)

they are literally like. the superior trio okay. there i said it. they are my favorites. they are SO funny together. i love them individually. i love every single duo that u can form amongst the three of them. i obviously love all three of them together

one of the funniest thing about them is the so called ‘ongoing fight for the love of georgenotfound’ that quackity and dream have. its actually fucking hilarious how quackity n george became fast friends n started talking to each other pretty much every day around november last year and dream actually Complained about not constantly having george’s attention anymore

this led to situations where george n quackity would be streaming together n having fun n dream would call george to get his attention. remember the ‘quackity teaches me spanish’ stream. dream literally called george in the middle of that n george just added him to the call w out saying anything n he sat there in the call just listening to them saying nothing except for a super random moment towards the end where they were roleplaying n dream dropped in and roleplayed randomly w them n then muted again. and because the stream after that was quackity’s dream diss track dream was in the call still n listened the whole time as quackity wrote the song and he only responded in chat n not vc but it was still so DUMB

quackity doesn’t let him live it down ever tho. at any given opportunity he WILL roast dream for being ‘obsessed’ w george BUT mr q himself. also has committed the crime of letting gnf live in his head rent free. he will literally tweet about bald george almost daily. quackity & george will get into twitter wars constantly w ‘receipts’ to prove the other is obsessed with them. its incredibly embarrassing for everyone involved n only shows that they like each other way too much

okay but also.... dream and quackity. they are so funny together. they have BRILLIANT chemistry n it comes from the Being Funny. remember the ‘i give dream therapy’ stream. amazing. i miss it to this day. can they please come back from the war. remember ‘i play roblox with dream’? and when they mimicked dsmp members and also each other n they made each other laugh so much :( there’s a certain magic that comes with a quackity and dream one-on-one stream. literally any one-on-one stream between the three of them is good. dnf n qnf drop banger streams. but we are so deprived of qwt streams. i deserve it personally. i need it personally. they need to stop pretending to be enemies n start being best friends :( like they genuinely like each other n find each other funny :( please :(

ok last one because i don’t wanna be annoying. remember that stream where quackity n dream trolled george because he knows nothing about sports. n they pretended there was this competitive hotdog eater they were invested in called tom gravy. n at some point he seemed to genuinely believe them. n also dream n quackity competing over screenshots of george they own from like discord calls or something. dream saying “i have the cutest pictures of george!” vs quackity saying “EVERY picture of george is the cutest picture of george >:(” anyway they r good bye

#ask #qnfwt #mcyt #dnf #qnf #qwt #quackity #dreamwastaken #georgenotfound #dream smp #i miss them i hope they r all on george's stream later uwu #netheritedream #askplus

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vulpes-z3rda · 4 years ago

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SFW Alphabet ~ Nishinoya

A/N: HI HI!! I hope you all enjoy this and i hope the Nishinoya nation are doing okay ^_^

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Have you met this boy? Have you taken him in? Absorbed him and everything about him? Yes? Good. This fucking DUDEEEE, omg. he loves affection. 25/10 on the scale for him tbh. s he around at all?? He needs to be touching you. Whether it be linked pinkies or small pecks on the cheek or hugging you from behind. He needs to be doing it because he wants to show you how much he cares all the time.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

THE BEST OF BEST FRIENDS!!!!! Need to laugh? Bitch he's there. Wanna go on a random adventure that will probably end up with you both having to wear bandages and bandaids for weeks? He's down and ready to go! Movie marathons and being cuddled up together under a blanket? Human reading this, he'll do it.

The friendship started when he was running through the halls being his usual chaotic self and he accidentally ran into you. After you both got up and dusted yourself off you were going to yell at him when he started apologising. Forgiving him you said you'd hoped to see him around and giggled as he very enthusiastically agreed. (he also thought you were really cute and wanted to stick around with you!)

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Omg... of course. You don't think he would?? How dare you. That, my good reader, is a war crime of a thought. He isn't really bothered about how the cuddling happens but he much prefers being the little spoon. Being held by you, resting on your chest and just relaxing into your touch is something he loves doing whenever he can. Obviously he'll swap but its like... a surprise when he is the big spoon.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

He does want to settle down eventually. Once you're both comfortable with good jobs and a nice home, he'll be sure to settle down with you. For now, though, he just likes talking about your future together and where you think you'll be. Cooking?? Cleaning?? What are those? Please, for the sake of your home, don't let him near the kitchen. He can clean, he just doesn't like it. If you want him to clean you're going to have to make a game out of it. "You'll get a kiss every 10 minutes if you do it." "AHHH OKAY!!"

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

I think he would be scared because even though he doesn't love you in that way anymore, he still really cares about you and doesn't want to hurt you. But, he'd be upfront because you deserve that decency and he would make sure that you both stay friends because he still wants you in his life.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

We all know he simps. A pure-blooded simp you know? So he simps for you. He's 100% committed to you. He doesn't see anyone else, only you and he is more than happy with that. I feel like he'd propose to you after a few years of dating, like between 2-6 years maybe?? Then you've had time to properly settle together and gotten to know each other inside and out.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

He can be gentle but given his chaotic nature, he's probably unintentionally brazen and rough around the edges. But he tries for you because he knows sometimes you just need him to be calm and to be more aware of your emotions so he tries his best.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Absolutely adores hugging you. Adores hugs in general tbh. They happen any chance he gets tbh. You've got your back turned to him because your mum asked you to do the dishes? BACK HUGS TIME!! Talking to him about something? You had best bet this man is going to tackle you in a hug.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Yes, he's affectionate but I feel like he'd wait a bit before he decided he says I love you. He wants to make sure everything between you two is comfortable and completely returned before he commits to it on that level. So I'd say he'd wait about 5-7 months before he says it.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they're jealous?)

We've all seen how he is about people flirting with Kiyoko and they aren't even dating, so Lord could only imagine. He would probably be by your side at all times and leaving snide comments to the person who is stealing your attention. More on the passive-aggressive side of jealous behaviour.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

His kisses can either be softest things or the most passionate things. There is no in-between with him. It all depends on his mood. Preferably, he'd like to kiss you on the lips and neck because he feels like it both shows how much he loves you and shows others your his. He loves to be kissed on the jaw and on the lips for the same reasons. It just screams "we love each other and want y'all to know" in his mind.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Considering he's a big child himself, I'd say he's pretty good with kids. 100% the type of guy to join in on any game to keep them entertained, will tell stories (mainly making you royalty and himself a knight who saves you (Tsukki is a dragon that kidnaps you)), he'll give piggyback rides if they want them and he's just overall ecstatic to be around them.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

You have to wake him up most mornings cause this mf is always trying to sleep in. You usually make his fave breakfast and then after that he drags upstairs again to cuddle again. This usually means he's rushing around to get to school and practice while you thought ahead and got ready before he dragged you back.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

SNUGGLES!! He'll make sure that once you've both done you're nightly routines, that you both wrap yourselves up in the bedsheets and just cuddle and talk about your day. His head is on your chest and he presses soft kisses to your collarbone as you sing to him or just play with his hair. Overall, it's just a soft loving experience for you both and he adores it and you all the same.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Give him a few months and that's when he really starts opening up. But, leading up to then he gives little hints about himself and drops little things that you might not have known every now and then. Then all of a sudden, he's saying everything. Every little detail he wants you to know, everything he's feeling and he tells you what he's insecure about because he wants you to know him.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

I mean... I'd say about average?? It depends on the situation. Someone's flirting with you? 0-100 real quick. Are you just upset about something and taking it out on him? He tries to keep level headed because he doesn't want to get mad at you. Someone making fun of his height? 0.0 well... short people tend to be the scariest and that's all I'm going to say 😌.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing or do they kind of forget everything?)

I feel like he's the kind of person who couldn't remember what 2 + 2 is half the time but if someone was like "What pet did y/n have as a kid??" and he'd be right there answering. Or they'd just ask "Hey, do you know y/n's favourite food?" and boom, he's giving a whole recipe on how to make it just how you like it. But on the odd occasion, he's just like "Oh fuck.... what's their favourite colour again??"

R = Remember (What is their favourite moment in your relationship?)

Your first anniversary. He made sure that he got everything you did on your first date and just sprinkled in little gifts of memories you made leading up to the anniversary. Not gonna lie, he also makes sure you have a nice little at home part of it too, You watch your favourite movies and eat your favourite snacks. This boy just wanted it to be special for you because he wants you to know just how much he cares.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

On a scale of 1-10?? I'd place him at like 9. We've all seen he is about Kiyoko... and she was a CRUSH! So what he'd be like over his s/o?? Jesus lord above. Noya goes ✨ bark bark ✨ when he protects you. Listen, people who flirt with you make Noya go brrrr, you know? *whispering* He likes it when you protect him by mocking or teasing the other person. Your witty remarks? Gold. His brain? Full of serotonin. His face? Basically just a smile. Hotel? Trivago.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

BITCH. Like I said, the effort he put in for your one year?? ✨immaculate✨. Like honestly sometimes your dates are 🌸🍡🍭🌈✨ and then other times they're like ⛓️🖤🔪🥀🩸. But he puts a lot of effort into making sure the date you do fits with your mood. Tired? Stay at home date. Hyper? You go to the beach or park. Chill? Stargazing. Craving stuff? Cafe and restaurant dates. As for everyday tasks... he lacks motivation and usually gets distracted when he starts them however he tries his best to do the things you ask him to do.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

He tends to accidentally neglect you for volleyball. Does he mean to? No, but the boy struggles to prioritise for god's sake. (After Suga talks to him he tries to be better at it but sometimes he still falls into it). HE ALSO LEAVES DIRTY CLOTHES EVERYWHERE BUT WHAT TEEN DOESN'T??

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Averagely concerned. The blonde in his hair is fading?? Asks you to redo it for him. It's his signature look and he demands to be a standout libero. Just wants to be able to be noticed by something outside of his skills ig.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

IUYTRESXDFGHJK MAAM/SIR/HOOMAN. This puppy of a boy would practically d i e without you by his side. He doesn't care whether he has you in his life as his s/o or his friend. He just knows he needs you to be in his life. periodt 💅.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

He likes climbing trees but half the time he gets stuck and has to jump out meaning you're at the bottom catching him-

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn't like, either in general or in a partner?)

Doesn't really like it when someone easily gives up on their goals. He knows if you've seen yourself being able to do it, then you can. But if you give up super quickly?? He's gonna be disappointed.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

HE CLINGS TO YOU LIKE A KOALA BEAR!!! Hear me out, baby boy just wants to be close to the person he loves and so this lead to him holding onto you while you both sleep!

#hq #hq imagines #hq scenarios #hq headcanons #hq oneshots #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu oneshots #nishinoya yuu #nishinoya x reader #nishinoya oneshot #nishinoya scenarios #nishinoya headcanons #nishinoya imagine

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fenth-eiria · 3 years ago

Text

Incorrect quotes : Sifan family edition

Fenth: I am in charge of this disaster!

Eiria: I have a name, you know.

Eiria: *Answers phone.* Hello?

Fenth: It's Fenth.

Eiria: What did they do this time?

Fenth: No, it's me, Eiria. It's actually me.

Eiria: What did you do this time?

The Librarian: You disgust me.

Elder Cadia : *eating a kitkat sideways* I realize this and don’t care.

The Librarian: Elder Cadia , we tried things your way.

Elder Cadia : No, we didn't.

The Librarian: I did it in my head and it didn't work.

Elder Cadia : Damn, the power went out.

The Librarian: Don’t worry, I got this.

The Librarian: *shakes rapidly and starts to light up*

Elder Cadia : What-?

The Librarian: I swallowed a glow stick!

Elder Cadia , on the verge of tears: WHY WOULD YOU-

The Librarian: Sleep is the body’s best safety mechanism.

Elder Cadia : How so?

The Librarian: It keeps you from screwing up for 8 hours.

The Librarian: Elder Cadia likes to say ‘you can be part of the problem or part of the solution,’ but I happen to believe you can be both.

The Librarian: I’m quick at math.

Elder Cadia : Ok, what’s 38 times 76?

The Librarian: 24.

Elder Cadia : That wasn’t even close.

The Librarian: But it was quick.

Elder Cadia : I left instructions for everyone while I'm gone.

The Librarian: Mine just says "The Librarian no."

Elder Cadia : I want you to apply it to every possible situation.

The Librarian: Can you keep a secret?

Elder Cadia : Well, I'm good until I meet the next person.

Eiria: I could kill you if I wanted.

Onica: Yeah? So could any other human being. So could a dog. So could a dedicated duck. You aren't special.

Onica: What? I'm not aggressive!

Eiria: Last Tuesday, you wacked me with a pair of crocs and stole my chocolate chips?

Onica: Survival of the fittest, bitch.

Kidnapper: We have your child

Eiria: I don’t have a child?

Kidnapper: Then who just asked for warm milk and made us cut the crusts off their sandwich?

Eiria: Oh god, you have my sister..

Eiria: You remind me of the ocean.

Onica: Because I'm deep and mysterious?

Eiria: No, because you're full of salt and you scare people.

Elder Cadia: Just be yourself. Say something nice.

Fenth: Which one? I can't do both.

Fenth: You know you've made it when you see your picture everywhere you go.

Elder Cadia : Those are wanted posters!

Fenth: Ayo, what the FUCK is this?!?

Elder Cadia , sitting down, surrounded by corpses: I won Mafia, that’s what.

Fenth: You want some leftovers?

Dot: What are those?

Fenth: You've never had leftovers before?

Dot: No, ‘cause I’m not a quitter.

Dot: *Kicks the door open, looking panicked*

Fenth: What did you do?!

Dot: NOBODY DIED!

Fenth: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!

Dot: I can never give Fenth shit because I’m jealous of them. They look at their life and say, “Sweet! This is perfect!”

Dot: I look at my life and say, “Welp. Time to get drunk.”

Dot: *walking around disappointed after visiting an aquarium*

Fenth: , what did you think a tiger shark was?

Eiria: So... what would you do if you were in bed with me?

Fenth: Depends. Is your bed comfortable?

Eiria: Yes.

Fenth: I'd sleep.

Eiria: When I was young, I left a trail of broken hearts like a rockstar. I'm not proud of it.

Fenth: You're kind of proud of it. You work it into a lot of conversations.

Eiria: Ugh, crushes are so dumb.

Fenth: I know. Whenever I’m near the person I like I just start acting stupid.

Eiria: But you’re always acting stupid?

Fenth: ...

Fenth: Yeah, don’t think about that too hard.

The Librarian: Come to dinner tonight. I can’t cook, but I’ll bring plenty of free wine.

Elder Cadia : Marry me.

The Librarian: I still have no idea how I’m attracted to you...

Elder Cadia : Yeah, well, you’re stuck with me, and no take backs, honey.

Elder Cadia : Are you an F5 key? Because that ass is refreashing.

The Librarian: Are you a software update? because not right now.

Elder Cadia : Fuck you.

The Librarian: No u.

Elder Cadia : I'm down.

The Librarian: You're like 2, what the fuck-

Elder Cadia : I AM NOT 2!

The Librarian: Is something burning?

Elder Cadia , leaning seductively on the counter: Just my desire for you.

The Librarian: Elder Cadia , the toaster is literally on fire.

The Librarian: Are you sure Elder Cadia 's even gay? They barely even looked at me.

Elder Cadia : This date is boring!

The Librarian: This isnt a date. I said I was going to the store.

Elder Cadia : Then why did you invite me?

The Librarian: I didnt, I specifically said "dont come with me" then you said " fuck you The Librarian I'll do whatever I want!

Elder Cadia : Go fuck yourself.

The Librarian, smugly: Sure, but only if you watch

Elder Cadia : Can I have 2 straws with that milkshake?

The Librarian: Aww-

Elder Cadia : With 2 straws, I can drink it double as fast!

The Librarian: Bro, I had a dream we fucked.

Elder Cadia : Bro, relax it was just a dream.

The Librarian: Huh, gay, I wouldn’t fuck you.

Elder Cadia : You wouldn’t?

The Librarian: I mean, unless you want to-

Elder Cadia : Are you ready to commit?

The Librarian: Like, a crime or a relationship?

The Librarian: Hey, I’m getting in the shower. Wanna help me out?

Elder Cadia : ...Have you never taken a shower before?

The Librarian: Ugh, crushes are so dumb.

Elder Cadia : I know. Whenever I’m near the person I like I just start acting stupid.

The Librarian: But you’re always acting stupid?

Elder Cadia : ...

Elder Cadia : Yeah, don’t think about that too hard.

The Librarian: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-

Elder Cadia : I wrote you a poem.

The Librarian, already crying: You did?

The Librarian: Are we fighting or flirting?

Elder Cadia : I'm pinning you against a wall with my hand around your neck-

The Librarian: Your point?

Elder Cadia : Did you know you remind me of all 26 letters of the alphabet?

The Librarian: What? Like J F K W S Q X-

Elder Cadia : No, like, U R A Q T.

The Librarian: Awwww!

The Librarian: I think I just figured something out. I got to go.

Elder Cadia : Aren't you forgetting something?

The Librarian: Uuh...*hesitantly kisses Elder Cadia 's forehead before running out.*

Elder Cadia : No, pay your bill! Damn, who raised you?

The Librarian: Relationships should be 50/50. Elder Cadia cooks us dinner while I sit on the kitchen counter looking pretty.

Elder Cadia : I like your new pants!

The Librarian: Thanks, they were 50% off!

Elder Cadia : I’d like them better if they were 100% off. *winks*

The Librarian: The store can’t just give away clothes for free.

Elder Cadia : Thats’s… not what I meant.

The Librarian: That’s a terrible way to run a business, Elder Cadia .

Elder Cadia : Know why I called you in here?

The Librarian: Because I accidentally sent you a dick pic.

Elder Cadia : *Stops pouring two glasses of wine.* Accidentally?

Elder Cadia : I’m in love with you.

The Librarian: We called off the prank war last night at midnight, dork.

Elder Cadia : I know.

The Librarian: Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-

The Librarian: We have a problem.

Elder Cadia : No, YOU have a problem. I have an idiot who keeps making them.

Elder Cadia : Did it hurt when you fell-

The Librarian: From heaven? Wow, I didn’t think you were such a flirt-

Elder Cadia : No, I meant when you fell down the stairs.

The Librarian: ...

Elder Cadia : You just laid there for 15 minutes.

The Librarian: *angrily presses Elder Cadia against a wall* WHERE'S THE MONEY?!

Elder Cadia : ...

Elder Cadia : Are we about to kiss-

Elder Cadia : Look, last night was a mistake.

The Librarian: A sexy mistake.

Elder Cadia : No, just a regular mistake.

Elder Cadia : I love you.

The Librarian, not paying attention: What was that?

Elder Cadia : I said I’m selling you to the zOo-

Elder Cadia : I love you.

The Librarian, not paying attention: What was that?

Elder Cadia : I said I’m selling you to the zOo-

The Librarian: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine.

Elder Cadia : But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.

The Librarian: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns??

Elder Cadia : Is it working?

Elder Cadia : Let’s watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

The Librarian: Okay.

Elder Cadia : And make out during the scary parts.

The Librarian: Th-

The Librarian: The scary parts.

The Librarian: Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

The Librarian: So... what would you do if you were in bed with me?

Elder Cadia : Depends. Is your bed comfortable?

The Librarian: Yes.

Elder Cadia : I'd sleep.

*The Librarian and Elder Cadia are in Paris.*

The Librarian: I'm...moved. I...I don't know what it is I'm feeling right now. I feel...destiny?

Elder Cadia : But...

The Librarian: I don't know what it is. I feel like... I just never thought I'd see it with my own two eyes. And here it is. It's just there. It's right in front of me, and...

Elder Cadia : This is what you wanted to see? The bridge from Inception?

The Librarian: Yeah.

Elder Cadia : But the Eiffel Tower is behind us, babe.

The Librarian: Yeah, but this is the bridge FROM INCEPTION.

Elder Cadia : Okay, alright.

The Librarian: Wow, Elder Cadia , you want to hold my hand before marriage? How awfully lewd of you.

Elder Cadia : We literally slept together yesterday.

The Librarian: That's NOTHING compared to the lewdness of holding hands.

Elder Cadia : Sorry I’m late, I was doing things.

The Librarian: Hi, I’m ‘things’.

#dark crystal #age of resistance #incorrect quotes #some are twice but hey #no judgment

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meshkol · 6 years ago

Text

Twitter Threads (or That One Time Tony Dialled It Up to Eleven)

Summary: Social media is hard and full of trolls, and Tony has poor impulse control.

Notes: I hate this so much. Less cracky than I wanted it, because I suck at writing humour. Fill K-3 for the Tony Stark Bingo 2019: Gossip Press. Unbeta'd as per usual. Any relation to existing twitter handles is entirely coincidental.

Warnings: Social Media, Twitter, Homophobic Language, Sexist Language, Ableist Language, Internet, Trolls, Protective Tony Stark, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Goes On A Rampage

No one can say that Tony’s ever had good impulse control, especially about people he loves.

@1234ideclareathumbwar posted: I donno what it is about dr strange but he must suck dick like a pro if hes got iron man whipped god knows theres nothing attractive about him except those dick suckin lips #drstrange #ironman #wtfisstarkthinking

@100percentDONE-xxx replied: yeah its not like he can give a decent handjob ffs must me the lips or maybe hes just tight every1 knows stark loves a tight whole hes prolly cheating neway poor cripple

@itsawrapandimreadytoparty replied: Probably just lays there and thinks about the wizard gods just to get that $$$...I’d think of England even for a nymphomaniac drug-addicted sugar daddy too, tbh.

@BlessYouThor-ness replied: still can’t believe he chose strange over THOR like everyone can see the chemistry between them and tony is such a bottom he’d take thor’s cock so well fuck yes

@they-did-the-thing777 replied: is it just me or does strange look like an alien maybe there’s no magic at all just aliens and he’s got a tentacle dick and stark just wants to mark off another box on his worlds-biggest-slut checklist #tonystarkispathetic

@snowflakes_makeme_lol replied: hes just fkn ugly i s2g stark id spread 4 but strange??? that bitch be ugly asf n not worth gettin my dk wet prolly get aids

@YouKnowWhoIAm replied: You guys are the pinnacle of our evolution and I am in awe of your genuine kindness and polite generosity (and grammar). Wow, I can’t believe Stephen Strange saved all of your jerkass lives TWICE for this shit and you know what? Everyone knows I’M the cocksucker in this relationship, dumbfucks.

@kiki_blow_this_popsicle_stand replied: HOLY SHIT LMAO

“What are you doing?”

He doesn’t bother looking up from his tablet, backing away from that thread because he has no interest in seeing the replies, and hunting for the next war he can wage. “Destressing,” he replies gleefully, clicking on a thread that mentions Pepper. He can feel Rhodey behind him – and, what’s more, he can feel the disapproval seeping out of his pores too now that he’s peeking over Tony’s shoulder – but he’s on a roll, and fuck impulse control when he can sass and bitch on twitter. Some people just need to be removed from the genetic pool of the human race and not be allowed to procreate, honestly.

Somewhere in bumbfuck-nowhere, Fury is having a coronary and Stephen is rolling his eyes so hard they’re permanently lodged in his cranium.

@rudethatyoureallamatwink posted: Does anyone else think that Pepper Potts only got the job at Stark because she’s got awesome legs and a great twat and Tony Stark wanted to stick his dick in? #idfuckher #pepperpotts #starkindustries #idfuckhimtootbh #tonystark

@MyNameIsGoFuckYourself replied: lol ur gross shes like 35 or smth but wvr u want crusty ol lose pussy u do u bro #oldchickgross #getbotox

@shredderinmymetal3-14 replied: @MyNameIsGoFuckYourself lmao wtf?? He started fucking her when she was like twenty or something so she was still nice and tight back then. I mean I’d still fuck her right now cause she’s one hot cougar and I bet she’s learned a thing or two from the Slut Extraordinaire. And anyway, how tf do you know what her cunt’s like?? The only hole you’ve fucked is your mom.

@queeen-bee-says-hi replied: Wow, you guys are pigs. Pepper Potts is a strong, independent, beautiful woman who is worth a thousand of all you, and your mothers would be ashamed of you all.

@gags_are_the_best_fight_me_bitch replied: @queeen-bee-says-hi hey look theres the feminazi if you want i can replace that stick up your pussy with my dick you know you need it ill fuck you real good show you what a real mans like

@truthisanillusion replied: I’ll fuck @queeen-bee-says-hi AND @OfficialPotts_CEO at the same time fucking feminazi cunts, god knows you bitches would be grateful for my prick in your gaping lesbian pussies

@YouKnowWhoIAm replied: Wow. So. Uh.

1. That’s revolting and my AI just delivered the IPs of @gags_are_the_best_fight_me and @truthisanillusion to the authorities for premeditated violence, rape, and hate crimes. You’re welcome, and feel free to send a cash donation to the charity of your choice for my thoughtfulness. I’d recommend something for women’s or LGBTQ+ rights, and I’ll match it with a multiplier of 1000x.

2. @queeen-bee-says-hi, good for you, and I can see from your profile that you’re a student. Consider your crops watered and your schooling paid for, all the way to your twelfth PhD if you want it.

3. @OfficialPotts_CEO can and will murder you with her pinky nail. I’ve taken on Thanos and I’d rather go ten rounds with him than piss her off. THAT’S why she’s CEO, not because of her admittedly awesome legs.

4. I hate this hellsite. If I buy it, can I kill it?? Rhodey says “technically” so I’m gonna look into that now.

@i_stan_one_legend_named_virginia_p_potts replied: IRON MANNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!! DEFEND THE QUEEN!!!!!!!!!!! #PEPPERPOTTS4PRESIDENT

@iaminlovewithcapandimunashamed replied: lmfao incels be fkd when #ironman comes to town

@truthisanillusion replied: Hey @YouKnowWhoIAm No one trusts you or likes you, you fake ass super “hero” taking it up the ass like a faggot stfu and die already, kthxbye

@queeen-bee-says-hi replied: whAT OH MY GOD THAT IS NOT NECESSARY

@OfficialPotts_CEO replied: Tony, stop picking fights and threatening to buy twitter or I’ll ground you. And just accept the gift, @queeen-bee-says-hi - after all, he’s already done it.

@YouKnowWhoIAm replied: Shut up Pepper, you aren’t the boss of me.

@YouKnowWhoIAm replied: And jokes on you @truthisanillusion because I’m already dead inside come at me bitch I’ll be the one in the multi-billion-dollar suit of armor surrounded by Avengers

@OfficialPotts_CEO replied: Actually, I am. Don’t make me take away your toys. Or call @Sorcerer_Supreme_With_A_Scalpel. He’s on speed-dial, sweetheart, and he likes me better than you.

@YouKnowWhoIAm replied: Rude.

@Sorcerer_Surpreme_With_A_Scalpel replied: The last time you threatened someone, your house got blown up. Please refrain from egging on internet trolls or I’ll dump you for Rhodes for my own sanity.

@YouKnowWhoIAm replied: ALSO RUDE.

“You know, I’m not even remotely bi-curious and I would totally tap that,” Rhodey says absently, though his lips are quirking into a smirk.

Tony rolls his eyes. “Hands off, you little shit, or I’ll tweet about that one time in MIT when you ate that—”

“Fuck you.”

“Been there, done that,” Tony quips cheerfully. “Not remotely bi-curious my ass—”

“You know what’s better than picking fights with twelve-year-olds on twitter? Kicking your ass right here. You come at me, Stank.”

Tony opens his mouth to reply but then gasps, already losing himself in another thread after sending a middle finger emoji into the last one.

@mwahahaha-666 posted: You guys can wax poetry about Tony Stark all you want, but screw that basic-ass rich boy - everyone knows Doctor Strange is the smokin’ hot one. #takemenow #mybodyisready #drstrange

@ukulele_jedi_master replied: PREACH!!! stark may be loaded but stephen is the one that looks like a prada model giMME THAT MAGICAL DICK

@xxx-foreverfit-xxx replied: Fuck both of you. I just wanna be a fly on the wall when they’re fucking each other...or better yet, DIRECT them on how to ruin each other #ironstrange #otp

@highpercentageofuselessnessachieved replied: i wonder if he can clone himself like can u imagine?? being fucked from all ends by #drstrange cock?? what i wouldn’t give to be tony stark omfg i don’t even want the money just the hard dickin from that fine piece of ass

@its_a_fact_that_captain_america_has_a_big_dick replied: He’s got Iron Man wrapped around his little finger so he must have the biggest dick and the know-how to use it properly. Yes pls and thank you very much, I’ll take that monster dick pronto.

@TGBYHN_4_LYFE replied: dude i tell u what i would do what @xxx-foreverfit-xxx said: sit in the corner w a ridign crop in 9’’ stilettos rubbin myself while directing them 2 do what i want...make em touch n stroke n suck n bite n fuck each other til they cant walk anymore n then cuddle w them n stroke their hair

@catcatcatcat-cat replied: I would give my college education, my life, my cow, and my internet access away for the rest of my life for a sex tape

@xxx-foreverfit-xxx replied: @TGBYHN_4_LYFE omfg fuCK YES CAN YOU IMAGINE listening to them moan as they lost themselves in each oter, so fucking desperate to get off that they’re begging you to let them cum even as they try their hardest to obey, covered in precum and sweat and hot as fuck

@bigfoot_is_nessie1987 replied: I s2g the amount of fanfiction I write about those two alone should have me committed but I literally can’t stop the two of them are so fucking hot together that it should be illegal god bless Iron Man and Dr Strange and their sexy, sexy chemistry and sexy, sexy bodies #killme

@one-upon-a-time-in-asgard2 replied: They are the hottest couple in the history of the universe and so fucking pure I love them both so much also @bigfoot_is_nessie1987 I demand a link to your fics cuz I’m always looking for more ironstrange porn #otp #ironstrange

@YouKnowWhoIAm replied: @Sorcerer_Supreme_With_A_Scalpel Hey, they think you have a big dick. Little do they know that they’re totally right and that you also have the added bonus of actually BEING a big dick too! #dontthreatentoleavemeforplatypus #orilltagyouinthirstposts #awesomethirstposts #stephenhasabigdick #andiloveit #goodshit

@mwahahaha-666 replied: OH MY DUCKING GOD

@its_a_fact_that_captain_america_has_a_big_dick replied: Well, I’d be mortified that Tony Stark is replying to this except Tony Stark is acTUALLY REPLYING TO THIS BLESS YOU IRON MAN

@Sorcerer_Supreme_With_A_Scalpel replied: One of these days I’m going to murder you with your own bravado and not lose a night’s sleep over it. And fine, I won’t touch Rhodes...I’m sure Rogers is free anyway, and he’s always so polite when I visit.

@bigfoot_is_nessie1987 replied: Please don’t read my fanfiction I will literally combust in embarrassment also I am dying over here in Copenhagen omfg

@YouKnowWhoIAm replied: BRO CODE, DUDE. YOU’RE VIOLATING THE BRO CODE. I HATE YOU SO MUCH AND I WANT A DIVORCE.

@catcatcatcat-cat replied: ...oh my god what does that mean you guys are MARRIED??!?! BLESS THE WIZARD GODS!!!!

@Sorcerer_Supreme_With_A_Scalpel replied: Rhodes, I know you’re reading over his shoulder, so if you could please take away his phone now before he ends up on the cover of the Times...or breaks the internet. Again. Thank you in advance.

Tony reacts immediately, trying to make a break for it, but Rhodey’s already tackling him into the couch, a hundred and ninety pounds of lean muscle and pretty Class As. Tony hisses breathlessly, the wind knocked out of him, and he struggles valiantly to keep his hands on his tablet while Rhodey does his best to rip it away. He doesn’t have a very good position so he makes a hair-brained, split-second decision to throw his body weight to the side, making them both roll off the couch. Rhodey’s a jerk though, and manages to react fast enough so that Tony takes the brunt of the impact, and he can’t even help but groan in a mixture of mild pain and disappointment as he feels the tablet being removed from his lax fingers.

“Sucks to be you, Stank,” he says breathlessly, fingers flying over the keyboard, and Tony cranes his neck until he can read Rhodey’s reply (and on Tony’s fucking account what in the hell!):

@YouKnowWhoIAm replied: I think I broke your hot mess of a husband, Stephen. Come collect him before he murders me with his eyes or gets his hands on another electronic device. We’re in the lab.

Three seconds later, Stephen walks through a portal, looking oh-so-fucking-gorgeous in his battle robes, and wearing a scowl of irritation that bodes well for rough, mock-angry sex in the near future.

Tony grins unapologetically, and abandons the lure of social media in exchange for his pseudo husband.

It’s an easy choice.