#hey mom i can never think on the spot when you ask how its going so ill tell you here

[perlelune]

Dollhouse | Rafe Cameron | i.

The moment your mother marries Ward Cameron should have been the moment your life changes for the better. A fresh start out of the Cut for the both of you. And for the first seven years of living with the Camerons, everything truly is perfect.

Warnings: DUB-CON, NON-CON, Pogue!Reader, Stepcest, Secret Relationship, Manipulation, Jealousy, Drugs, Drinking

This is a dark story. Heed warnings before reading under the cut.

𝖘𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖘 𝖒𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙

You peek from your hiding spot, beneath the lavishly decorated long table. Mom looks pretty. She’s wearing a fancy white dress that likely costs ten times the rent you used to pay. Perhaps more. The diamond earrings she dons, a wedding gift from your new dad, (Your new dad, your mind still cannot grapple with that reality-altering piece of information. You have a dad now, a stepfather), glimmer as they catch the glow of the fairy lights overhead. 

She’s laughing. So loudly you can see all her teeth and her eyes are crinkly. You don’t think you’ve ever seen Mom laugh like that. No. You have never seen Mom laugh like that. Not ever. In the eleven years she’s raised you on her own. There have been sad times. Very sad times. Happy times too. 

Still, she’s never looked as happy as she does today. 

Like she’s on Cloud Ten. Not on Cloud Nine. Cloud Ten. Because there has to be a level above that fully captures how overjoyed Mom looks right now.

All because of this man. Your gaze swings to him. He’s wearing a suit, a white wedding suit, because Mom insisted they match and she always despised - despised not hated - bland wedding tuxedos. Bland anything really. So she picked his suit herself. Just like she did everything for the wedding. Her dream wedding. Something she’s constantly reminded you for the past month. 

That this is her moment. Her big moment. One you shouldn’t ruin. 

Which is why you’re hiding here. You can’t ruin anything from underneath a table. A silent observer. Quiet as a mouse. 

That way Mom can have her moment while you bask in the shock that she’s a Cameron now. And so are you. 

“Hey. Why are you hiding at your own mom’s wedding?”

You gasp, startled by the voice beside you. Your head turns. A blond-haired boy is crouched next to you, his neck crooked from having to fit his tall frame in the small space. His blue eyes are wide and curious as they rest on you.

“I-I’m not hiding,” you stammer, shocked that someone found your secret spot. Everyone’s focus is glued to the new Mr. And Mrs. Cameron. Even your new stepsisters are cheering from the circle around them. Sarah’s the loudest. Her thunderous clap and megawatt smile is a cheering squad all on its own. 

This is their day.

So you figured your existence must have been forgotten by now. You tossed flower petals across the aisle, just like Mom asked. You smiled for the family pictures. You hugged him, that man, your new dad.

You awkwardly greeted your new siblings. Well, mostly waved from a safe distance.

You assumed your disappearance would go unnoticed amidst the bubble of joy keeping everyone trapped in its spell. But someone slipped away from it for a little while, it seems, broke the spell. Long enough to notice your absence. 

He nods and says, “Really? Come out then, since you’re not hiding.” When you dig your pink ballet flats into the grassy dirt, refusing to move, the teenager chuckles.

He plops onto the floor. 

“Or we can stay here.”

Your brows knit. We. It sounds strange. Alien to your ears. It’s always been you and Mom. The two of you against the world, jumping over every hurdle life stuck in your path together. There’s just so many kids now. And based on Mom’s recent announcement…there’ll be another one soon. The final knot binding your two families.

Thinking about it makes your mind spin. Overnight you went from being an only child to having three siblings. Well, four in some months. 

Saying your world has been turned upside down is an understatement. Everything that used to be up is now down. And the house! Tannyhill is nothing like the tiny apartment you and Mom used to share. The one where the lights used to go out sometimes. It has all these big rooms. A gigantic yard. A pool. 

JJ even made fun of you at school because he said you’re a Kook now. 

A Kook. You wanted to punch him…and you did.

You will never be a Kook. It doesn’t matter if Mom makes you change schools, forcing you to attend the one on Figure 8, if she buys you new clothes, moves you to a new house.

You’ll always be a Pogue. A fact the kids at your new school make sure you never forget. 

You tuck your knees against your chest.

“You don’t have to.”

“I do what I want,” he replies with a shrug.

He brings out a piece of cake from behind him. 

“Do you want some?”

You make a face. 

“Not hungry.”

He laughs and takes a spoonful of the three layered chocolate cake himself. 

“What kind of kid refuses cake?” 

“Why are you here?” you retaliate, growing more annoyed. 

“Because you’re my new sister,” he states with a shrug. Your eyes round. “That’s what my dad says anyways.” He sighs. “Gotta look out for you and all that.”

“I don’t need it.”

“Well, little sisters are a pain in the ass. Didn’t ask for another one.” His brows furrow. “Didn’t ask for a new stepmom either but…here we are, princess.”

“Princess?”

“It’s what you look like, with your pink ribbons and all the bows,” he says, waving his hand in front of you. 

You open your mouth then close it. Mom did go overboard with the pink and the bows. But she wanted you to look cute in the photos. She wanted all the girls to look cute. Adorable, as she said. So you and your stepsisters ended up with those big, embarrassing, fluffy pink dresses. 

“Anyways. I’m your brother now. Deal with it, okay?” He scratches the back of his neck, placing the cake on the ground. “Pretty sure if I let anything bad happen to you my dad will kill me.”

You look ahead. Mom’s dancing with the girls now. She pauses momentarily, glancing around, but quickly returns to the dance. She, Wheezie and Sarah bounce in a circle, giggling as they tap their feet to the music. 

Your eyes swell with tears. 

This is how long it took Mom to replace you. A few seconds.

Rafe’s voice laces with irritation. 

“Are you crying?” His harsh tone only drags more sobs out of you. You grip the hem of your fluffy dress to wipe the snot pouring from your nose. 

The boy rolls his eyes. 

“Girls are so annoying, always crying for no reason.” He plucks a tissue from the back pocket of his dress pants and dabs it against your eyes. He does it rather aggressively which startles you out of your meltdown. “Here, stop.” You blink at him. “I’m sorry, okay?” His blue eyes soften. “I promise, we’re not so bad.” He scrunches his nose. “Well, except for Sarah who’s a spoiled brat…but you get used to it too.”

You sniffle and duck your head. Almost as if reading your mind, he assures softly, “Your mom will always be your mom, so stop crying, okay?”

You raise your head, gaping at him. 

“T-Thank you, Rafe,” you mumble between your abating sobs.

He shrugs. “Whatever.”

As he continues wiping your face, your tears slowly drying, you start pondering. Perhaps having a big brother won’t be so bad.

Cheers and applause explode around you as you blow the last of the sparkler candles. It took several tries before all the flames flickered out, plunging the room in total blackness. Your sisters giggle beside you and a contagious smile creeps onto your lips.

“Make a wish, make a wish!” your family chants around you.

You shush everyone which draws more laughs, especially from Mom and Dad. “Guys, quiet. I need to focus.”

You suck in a deep breath. 

You close your eyes and make a silent wish. Your smile broadens. It’s easy. You wish for everyday moving forward to be as perfect as this one, as wonderful. A happiness untouched and crystallized like a butterfly in amber. Its paper-thin, delicate wings never shriveling. Its vibrant colors never dimming. Its beauty never waning, never yielding to the fickle whims of time. Every year onwards, you wish to be surrounded by the same love and support you’ve gotten to experience for the last eighteen years. 

You wish to always be with family. 

When your eyes open, you beam brightly. The fact that familiar faces stare back at you fills you with warmth and comfort. Sarah, your sister, offered to throw the flashiest, biggest party of the year for your birthday. She even made a vision board for it. It was quite impressive actually. She planned on making sure her little sister celebrated eighteen years on this earth with a bang. But you staunchly refused. Not only did you hope to avoid more organizing drama between Sarah and Kie, you wanted something discreet and casual this year. You had no desire to be surrounded by vague acquaintances from the Island Club or the snobbish classmates who only stopped calling you names once they realized Mom was more than Dad’s mid-life crisis. 

Despite the twenty-year age gap between them, you’ve never witnessed two people more in sync than your mom and dad. You know every woman on that side of the island has wished for their marriage to fail. You wouldn’t flinch if you learnt there was a voodoo doll of your mom in one of those women’s closets. People figured they wouldn’t last. After all, they are so different. Mom used to be a cocktail waitress at the country club Dad is still a faithful member of to this day. His wife Rose had recently died and they bonded over fishing and sports. In many Kooks’ eyes, Mom will always be beneath them. You can see it in their eyes. Their pinched smiles. Their forced pleasantries. A veil of unbelonging will always cling to you and your mother. Deep down, despite living in this big beautiful house for seven years, you’ll always be Pogues. Not that you’ll ever tell Mom. She lives in a pink-colored bubble of her own making. One you wouldn’t dare pop lest she land in a cold puddle of harsh reality.

Still, you’re happy for your parents. 

Even after all these years, they love each other deeply. They still find ways to surprise each other, to make the other feel special.

Alice and Ward Cameron are what true love looks like in your eyes. What it should look like. Unless you have what your parents have one day, you don’t see yourself tying the knot with anyone. Your dad set that standard by being the best man you’ve ever met. 

Willa bounces in front of you, displaying her gummy grin. She recently turned seven and her front teeth have yet to come out. It never stops her from smiling all day however. 

“What did you wish for?” 

You don a cryptic expression.

“It’s a secret.”

Willa pouts, folding her arms dejectedly. Dad chuckles and picks her up. He rubs her back to comfort her, explaining, “She can’t tell you her wish, sweetheart. Otherwise it won’t come true.”

Your little sister gives a reluctant nod. Willa abhors the word ‘no’. Setting limits for her is a problem as she’s so accustomed to Dad surrendering to her every whim. Ward Cameron is what some would call a ‘girl dad’ through and through. It never takes much effort from you and your sisters to convince him and whoever would dare hurt any of you should probably count their days…as your dad would likely have already picked a date and funeral plot for them.

The time for the gifts comes. You sit in a chair at the head of the dinner table as everyone gathers around you to give you their gift. 

Sarah got you a coupon for a tattoo. While Dad is livid, she winks at you. The two of you mentioned getting matching tattoos before you leave for college. You’re glad to learn that she hasn’t forgotten.

Wheezie hands you a Sephora gift card. She’s very solemn, adjusting her glasses while giving it to you, which tears a chuckle from you.

“You just always say you don’t want anything, then everyone gets you a super cool gift,” she laments. Mom squeezes her shoulder. 

“It’s an amazing gift. I love it, Wheezie.”

Her face lights up at your response.

Willa’s gift draws the biggest smile from you. It’s a handcrafted wooden box covered in seashells, glitter and sand. It has a silver lock with a little key. It’s just so cute and you already picture yourself placing it above your bed or somewhere on your desk in your college dorm. It’ll be a much-welcome reminder of home. 

Mom and Dad’s combined gift sits in a square velvet jewelry box. The breath hovers in your lungs, your fingers shaking with anticipation as you open the box.

Your jaw drops.

A gold necklace with a single diamond charm shaped like a teardrop lies on beige satin. 

Your hand flies to your mouth. This must have cost a pretty penny.

“I don’t know what to say,” you whisper.

“Do you like it, sweetheart?” Dad asks.

“I love it.”

A bright grin unfurls on his face at your swift response. He moves forward, collecting the necklace from the box. 

“Can I…”

“Of course,” you reply, shoving your hair aside so he can place the necklace on you. 

When he’s done, he takes a moment to look at you, his hands clasping your shoulders. “It suits you. Your mom and I picked it out…” His voice falters, unspilled tears filling his blue eyes. 

You wrap your arms around him. He hugs you tightly. 

“Dad, it’s okay,” you say.

He unleashes a watery laugh. “It’s just…you girls are growing up so fast.” He steps back and hastily wipes the tears in his eyes. Dad loathes crying in front of you. Well, showing any sort of emotion really. You don’t remember seeing him shed a tear since the day you called him ‘dad’. It just slipped out of your mouth one time. It just felt natural after a while. 

Ward is the only father you’ve ever known, your mother having divorced your biological father when you were just a few months old. You’ve never met this man, though you’ve heard he has another family on the mainland. You can’t deny you’ve been curious about him at times. But your mother’s lips are sealed when it comes to that man. She rarely talks about that time but you always gathered that his absence in your lives is somewhat of a blessing.

You hug Dad again.

“It’s okay. I promise to visit a lot. For every holiday. And you guys can come see me too.” You try to lighten the mood as you note the sour faces. “It’ll just be four years. Then I can come home and work on getting my real estate license while working with Dad at Cameron development.”

“That’s my girl. Eyes on the prize,” he praises. 

“Always.”

He sweeps an icy glance over Rafe.

“If only a certain someone followed your example.”

Your brother flinches. He’s been a bit more withdrawn than everyone else during the party. Besides singing ‘Happy Birthday’, he hasn’t said a word to you. You surmise he’s not too eager to see you leave either. Out of all your siblings, you are the closest to Rafe. 

While he was standoffish when you first met, he’s warmed up to you considerably over the years. He’s not just your brother. He’s also your confidant. You can count on one hand the things you don’t share with Rafe.

“Come on, dad. That’s not fair,” you say, trying your best to dissipate the tension in the air. “He’s just on his own path.” 

Rafe bolts from his seat, stomping out of the room and heading to the balcony. 

Your shoulders slump.

“Not everyone has to go to college to succeed. You know that. And so does Mom.”

“You’re right.” He heaves out a weary breath. “But I’m not mad that your brother dropped out of college. I’m mad he doesn’t care about anything he can’t shove up his nose or get high with.”

Concern scrunches your mother’s features. 

“Honey,” she says.

“Alice, he’s twenty-two years old. It’s time for him to grow up.”

Bereft of arguments to defend Rafe, and with your dad being stubborn as ever, you elect to join him on the balcony. The cool night breeze seeps through your clothes. Goosebumps break out on your skin as you shiver by Rafe’s side. 

You decide to crack his shell with a lighthearted joke. 

“So I don’t get a gift from my big brother this year?”

A smile breaks out on Rafe’s face. He turns to you.

“But you always say you don’t want anything because you already have everything.”

You give him a harmless punch in the rib. He pretends to be deeply hurt by it and bursts out in laughter.

“I’m kidding,” he admits. “I'll give it to you later this week. It’s something you’ve wanted for a long time, promise. There was just a…temporary shortage.”

You acquiesce. You let a comfortable silence hang between you and him for a while before speaking again.

You take a deep breath. 

“I’m sorry about Mom and Dad,” you blurt out.

Shrugging, he scoffs, “It’s fine. It’s not like Dad will stop riding my ass all the time. At least Alice doesn’t have her foot on my neck 24/7.”

You grip his arm.

“They’re just worried about you. About your future.” Rafe’s jaw clenches, his blue eyes set forward. “You know Dad loves you. He’s just not very good at showing it.” Hope laces your tone. “Maybe try to stop by the office more? I’m sure he’ll appreciate you showing interest in the family business.” You shift closer to him, whispering. “Even Sarah can’t be bothered, just so you know.” This makes his hard gaze fall on you. Talking about Sarah never fails to make Rafe’s blood pressure rise. Even after all that time, the two of them can’t seem to get along. “You’re always talking about being proactive and all that. Then be proactive, Rafe.”

He studies you for a while before a slow smirk unfans on his lips. 

“You know…that is actually not a bad idea, princess.”

“Of course it’s a great idea. I had it,” you jest, drawing a hearty chuckle from him.

The buzzing of your phone shatters the moment. You startle. You hastily grab it from the pocket of your cardigan. 

“Just give me a minute,” you utter apologetically. You step away for a bit. Rafe’s eyes on you are sharp as you check your phone. The message you receive has you fighting a smile. You feel giddy that he remembered your birthday. You don’t even remember telling him it was today. Suppressing the goofy grin threatening to take over the bottom of your face, you return to your spot next to Rafe. 

“Who was that?” he asks.

You lie with ease. While you love Rafe, he can be so overprotective. To a suffocating degree at times. No guy will approach you because the mere knowledge that Rafe Cameron is your brother and will surely dole out a severe beating if any guy so much as stares at his sister too long makes most of them steer clear. Some of your suitors have tried, the brave, reckless ones, but Rafe would scare each of them away. 

There’s been a boy lately. One who eluded your brother’s relentless scrutiny. Familiar, but also kind of new. Rafe would blow a fuse if he knew who it was. He can’t find out. Not yet anyways. 

You slap on a mask of nonchalance. 

“No one.”

He gives a nod, licking his lips. He seems to mull over something before narrowing his eyes in suspicion. 

“Are you hiding something?”

Your stomach knots. You try to keep an even, casual tone. You fail. 

“I-I’m not. Why would you say that, Rafe?”

“I don’t know. You were acting shifty just then.”

“I’m allowed to have some privacy, Rafe. I’m not a kid anymore.”

His jaw ticks. He takes a small step back, as if your words hit him square in the face. 

“But we never had any secrets for each other, haven’t we?”

“Yeah.”

His blue eyes trap yours. 

“So who was it, princess?”

You shudder. Keeping things from him is near impossible. He knows you like a book he’s read every single page from. Again and again. 

This is how you know your subterfuge can't be a complete success. Still, you stick to your story.

“Like I said, Rafe. No one,” you maintain.

He bends over you, seizing your hand and tucking it against his chest. Your heart skips a beat. 

“You know I’m just trying to protect my little sister, right? That’s all I’ve ever tried to do, protect you.”

“I know,” you say, a small smile tugging your lips. 

He rubs his thumb across your palm, squeezing your fingers more tightly than before. You wince at the pressure. It’s on the thin edge of pain.

“So…you’d tell me if there was anything new in your life, anyone?”

Your pulse quickens. The lie aches as it rises from your throat this time. Needles of deceit. You aren’t used to lying to your brother. 

“Of course, Rafe. You’d be the first to know,” you chime, forcing a false, wobbly smile on your face.

He stares at you for so long that it grows unnerving. After an eternity, his grip on your hand slackens. You rub your pulsing fingers, a frown wrinkling your brow. 

He crosses his arms over the railing, eyes fixated on the night as he mumbles under his breath, “Good.”

You don’t know how to answer that, a wave of unease, cooler than the night chill, passing through you somehow. 

[billluver0124]

"middle school shenanigans!"

synopsis : tom goes through his 'first love' experience with y/n! WARNINGS: there is none, its a fluff story !!

authors note: once again, @rottinglilys helped me with the plot of the story ! i hope you guy enjoy my lovies<3

it all started back last year in grade 7, tom had a MASSIVE crush on y/n. he would always catch himself staring at her in classes because they had most classes together.

he always adored how she looked; her hair, her eyes, her bubbly personality, her willingness to be kind towards those who dont deserve it. but most of all...her smile. toms heart used to explode like fireworks whenever he was blessed to see her smiled.

then on the day before spring break started, tom slipped her a note in her locker.

"Hey, ich bin in dich verknallt. Magst du mich auch?

ja oder nein ?-t.k"

y/n was so confused when she got the note. she didn't know what 't.k' stood for, until the very last hour of school. when tom decided to man up and go up to her.

"y/n!" he yelled, jogging up to her to catch her attention. she turns around "oh hi tom!" she said, smiling. tom almost fell to his knees right then and there, but no! he needed to tell her how she felt! "did you get my note?" tom asked, his hand wrapped around the back of his neck. then it hit y/n straight in the face, t.k = tom kaulitz, how could i be so fucking stupid? she thought to herself. "o-oh uh yea!" she answered nervously. "c-can i see it?" tom asked, y/n nervously giving it back. he opens it to see that it wasnt answered "you didnt answer it, do you not like me back?" tom felt his heart sting a little but it was soon reassured. "n-no i do like you, i like you a-a lot!..." y/n blurted out "i just didnt know what 't.k' meant at first until now..." tom chuckled, "what did you think it meant?" "i-i dont know...t-turkey kabob?" she joked, causing them to both laugh. after a moment of silence, tom speaks "so, are you my girlfriend now?" tom asked, not knowing where to go from here. y/n nods, giving him a hug. tom feels his heart flutter at the feeling of y/n in his arms. "you wanna hangout this weekend? ill ask my mom if its okay" she asked, tom nods "yea for sure! ill see you then"

-----------------------------------------------------------------

it was now grade 8, tom and y/n have been dating for a year! their families have grown fond of each other and they hangout at each others house after school most of the week and sometimes on weekends...

with the condition that the door must stay open of course...

today they were at toms house, tom was showing her a song he was playing some guitar for her and she just peacefully watched. y/n always admired toms talent on guitar, she knew he was gonna make it big one day.

after a little while, he puts the guitar away and pats a spot next to him "wanna cuddle liebe?" he asked, she smiles and lays next to him. he pulls her into his embrace, her pretty head rests upon his chest as he strokes her hair.

as tom stroked her hair, y/n found herself staring at a particular feature on his face, his lips. the pretty pink color, the way they curved into a smile whenever he was happy, and oh my god his lip piercing...y/ns never kissed anyone before, but she wanted to kiss him so bad. "is something wrong?" tom asked, slightly nervous. "nothing its just..." y/n took a breath before she finished her question "h-have you ever kissed anyone?" tom sighed "uhm, yeah..my babysitter when i was like..9" "oh.." "why? have you ever kissed anyone schatz?" tom asked, y/n looks down; embarassed "n-no, i havent.."

then almost immediately, tom got an idea in his little brain>.<

"do you want to have your first kiss?" "well, yeah every girl wants to have their first kiss" y/n joked "no schatzi..." tom chuckled "i mean do you want to have it...with me?" y/n hesitates for a moment, nervous of if shes a good kisser or not. shes really new to this! what if shes a bad kisser? what if she goes too far? but it couldnt be that bad right? its just a kiss for christs sake!

"yeah..is that okay tommy?" "its more than okay with me schatzi.." tom sat up, scooting closer to her "you ready?" he asked...

y/n nods, shakily moving her face closer to him. tom places a hand on her cheek then boom! their lips were sealed together! (aww so cute! >.<) y/n places a hand on his shoulder, deepening the kiss. then they let go because if they kissed any longer they would suffocate!

"woah.." y/n mumbled, tom chuckling at her reaction "did you like it?" "yeah i did" y/n said, softly smiling... "then we should kiss more often then hm?" tom said, smirking at his girlfriend.

[slayfics]

Explosive Tendencies a slow burn fan fiction about the readers developing relationship with Katsuki Bakugo.

Chapter fifteen: You move into the dorms.

Chapter links

You shifted the box in your hands to get a better grip. Time had passed since your visit to Katsuki in his home, and now the school had all its students moving into dorms.

It had been a struggle, but finally, you got permission to move in. Everyone was scrambling about as you only had one day to get all your stuff situated.

The rooms were amazing. You had your own personal bathroom and balcony. It felt nice to have a designated spot for yourself, and you could tell a lot of your classmates felt the same.

You passed Mina while you walked down the hall bringing another box of your things, “Hey!” She called to you. “Once everyone’s done getting settled in, we were going to do a room competition, ok?! I can’t wait to see how everyone decorates! See you later!” Mina concluded and excitedly went back into her dorm which happened to be next to yours.

A room competition, you thought. Maybe that would be fun, but you weren’t sure you wanted all your classmates in your room. That might feel a little invasive. You pushed the thought aside and continued to put away your clothes and rearrange the room to your liking.

Once finished you couldn’t help but be curious as to how everyone else was doing… especially Katsuki. Fuck it, you thought and made your way over to the boy's side of the dorm.

Everyone was still haphazardly running around getting settled in, so no one questioned you walking to the boy's side. You're pretty sure you remembered Katsuki being on the fourth floor when Aizawa explained room assignments. It was helpful that the rooms also had designated names for the students outside.

Finding Katsuki's door, you knocked and were greeted with a frustrated, “WHAT?!”

Katsuki opened the door, eyebrows furrowed and face in a scowl. His features softened just slightly as he laid his eyes on you, “Oh it’s you. What do you want?” he asked, leaving the door open and going back to putting his clothes in his closet.

“Just coming to check how you’re doing,” you said, stepping into the room.

“Shut the door if you intend to stay. I don’t want any other extras bothering me,” he huffed.

You shut his door and walked over to sit in his rolling chair.

“Are you already finished unpacking?” he asked, glancing over at you for a moment before going back to putting more stuff away.

“Yeah, I didn’t have too much to put away. Do you need any help?” You offered.

“No,” he said sternly.

You looked around, his room was rather plain. And just like his bedroom at home, it was extremely organized. Thinking back to how his mom yelled at him that night you imagined that might be why he has such clean habits. Upon inspecting the room, you noticed an All Might poster rejected on the floor in the corner of the room.

“Want me to put that up for you?” You asked

Katsuki looked over to see what you were referring to, then snapped his head back to his tasks when he realized it was the All Might poster.

Katsuki just shrugged his shoulders as a response, which you thought to be very uncharacteristic of him. Never once had you known him to be silent.

You didn’t push him any further, sensing the unusual energy coming from him. Instead, you swirled slightly back in forth in the rolling chair watching him put his stuff away.

“Tch- just gonna watch me, hu?” He mused.

“Well, you won’t let me help.” You teased.

“You have your own damn room to sit in you know,” he barked.

“Yeah but… no one yells at me in there,” you giggled.

“I wouldn’t yell if you extras weren’t so damn annoying.” He replied finished putting away his clothes and sitting on the edge of his bed

“Speaking of ‘those extras’” you imitated his voice, “they are doing a room competition to see who has the best room,” you explained.

“Shitty hair told me. Sounds dumb,” he replied.

“Figured you say so,” you laughed.

“You can let me know how dumb it was tomorrow,” he said waving for you to leave.

“Hmm, I don’t think I’m going to do it,” you said pensively swiveling back and forth in the chair again.

“Whatever,” he said, shoulders slumping a bit. You noticed, unlike every other time you had talked to him, Katsuki never made eye contact with you. He’d glance at you sometimes, but his gaze was always elsewhere in the room otherwise.

“You feeling alright?” You asked.

“I’m fine. Why are you so damn nosey all the time,” he said, annoyed.

You would have liked to say you were worried about him, but knowing Katsuki like you did now, you knew that would only irritate him even more.

“Guess I’m just an annoying extra,” you teased.

Katsuki let out an amused puff of air.

“Hey, it was nice of you to pay Kirishima back for those goggles,” you said.

“I wasn’t being nice! I just… don’t want to owe any of you anything,” he grumbled.

“None of us did that because we expected you to owe us. You know that right?”

Katsuki didn’t respond but kept his gaze down toward the floor.

You took a risk and sat on the bed next to Katsuki. He didn��t react at all to you moving closer to him.

It frustrated you that you didn’t know how to get him to talk. If you said you were worried or commented on how his demeanor seemed to be different, he would just get angry. But it was clear to you the events he went through had been traumatic. You wished he wasn’t always so damn stubborn.

Instead of being able to figure out anything to say you just sat in silence next to him for what seemed like an uncomfortable amount of time.

“You wanted to know how I appeared suddenly to where you guys were in Kamino right?” he asked, breaking the silence and causing you to jump a bit.

You remembered he had already told you it was a part of All For One’s quirk, but you didn’t want to shut him down from talking about the event.

“Yeah-… how did that happen?” You asked, feeling yourself become excited, he was willing to talk about that night now. Again, you felt like you were dealing with a skittish cat. You had to walk on eggshells to be careful not to make him close off again.

Katsuki explained to you how back at the Leauge's Hide Out all of a sudden, this awful-smelling liquid came out of his mouth, and he was teleported to Kamino Ward. After that, he explained that the teleportation happened when Kamui Woods had seemingly trapped all the villains and All Might was confronting Shigaraki.

Katsuki moved back on the bed leaning against the wall as he explained the night's events. He mentioned that he heard what Aizawa said about him at the press conference, and how he refused to even pretend to be interested in joining the League even though he was clearly outnumbered.

You moved back to rest against the wall next to him feeling your eyes get heavy. Katsuki's voice got lower the more he continued to explain what had happened, and you felt yourself dozing off to it. You blinked hard in between his story, trying to stay alert.

You were thrilled he was talking to you about the event and seemed to be processing more of what happened, but after the long day of moving, it was hard to be energized.

The next time you blinked you were surprised to see the room dark. You looked over to see Katsuki asleep, lying down awkwardly on the bed to not get in your space.

Shit-

You fell asleep while he was talking. You stretched a bit while you decided what to do. You didn't want to wake him up by moving but- you had to leave, right?

You looked over at Katsuki and noticed his relaxed expression while he was fast asleep. It was such a contrast to his usual scowl. You almost didn't recognize him. The sight caused your cheeks to warm up.

Your blush intensified when you realized that Katsuki must have realized you fell asleep and chose not to wake you.

Your stretching and shuffled movement had been enough to wake Katsuki, who took a sharp breath in and rubbed his eyes. Opening his eyes halfway he looked over to you.

"Fuck, you're still here?" Katsuki grabbed his phone off the bed's headboard to check the time. "It's late, you should probably go. Everyone will be asleep now," he said.

"Yeah uh- goodnight, Katsuki," you said, as you started to crawl off the bed.

"Hu?" Katsuki looked at you curiously after you called him by his first name, but he was too tired to correct you or make a fuss about it. Instead, he closed his eyes to go back to bed as you quietly left and closed his dorm door.

Tags: @anon-mouse223 @unofficialmuilover @maddietries @sikuthealien @queenpiranhadon @melrs21 @poemzcheng @kazuumii @bakunianadecorazon @ur-crusty-uncle @reads-stuff-quietly @chixkadee @perfectsukii @faetoraa @fem-weeb

[ivysturnss]

Transition -Sturniolo Triplets

Summary:Where the triplets come back home and have some news waiting for them.

Warnings: FLUFF!!! Usual swearing , mentions of surgery , crying ,questioning ur gender and I think that's it.

Pairing: older bro!triplets x ftm!reader

A/N: reader is 17 in this and I'm sorry if its bad I thought of this on the spot

Nick Matt Chris MaryLou You

------------------------------

You was currently sat up on the kitchen counter with my mom infront of u calming u down whilst small tears run down ur cheeks "What if they don't accept me!" "Buddy look at me please" you wipe ur nose with a tissue your mom had given u a few minutes prior then drifting ur eyes to look at her. "Are you listening to yourself right now , one of your brothers is gay and they accepted him ur not any different sweetie!" "I am though , nick hasn't changed he just likes boys but ive changed completely I haven't seen them in 9 months and the last time they saw me I was their little sister with long curly hair and braces." you say slightly raising ur voice and tears were now flowing heavily.

It was true the last time u had seen ur triplet brothers u had curly brown hair what hung just past ur chest , braces with pink bands , nails did but very short what u was forced to have done by ur best friend. None of ur friends and family knew at the time but just before ur brothers had came 9 and a half months ago u was questioning ur gender , long nights spent scrolling through tiktok and Pinterest looking at hairstyles for boys , male clothing just anything "boyish" in general and that's when it dawned on you. Im trans! You took inspiration from matts anxiety journal to make your own journal but instead of it being for anxiety you named it "Transition Journal". Any spare time you had you would write down ur thoughts , ways to tell ur family, name ideas and in the end it was full to the brim. It was a mix of a scrapbook and a diary it had photos cut out of outfits and where to buy the clothes and accessories from written next to it aswell as haircuts cut out so when u came out and got ur hair done you could show the barber what u wanted.

"No one else in the family views u any different so I highly doubt they will but if they dont they are getting the next flight back to la and never coming back in this house!" This makes you let out a little laugh and smile "That's not very nice you can't just kick them out like that" " I suppose that is a bit mean but whatever it takes to have u happy!" "Thanks , I'm so tired after all this crying so I'm going to get out of this and take a nap but can u text me when they are here and where they are in the house?" "Of course I can I'll also tell them not to go in your room have a good nap!"

3 hours and 15 minutes later

Your pov:

I wake up from my nap and automatically hear shouting and laughter downstairs so without even checking my phone I know my brothers are home , I sit up against my headboard and grab my phone and reply to a few of my friends who messaged me before checking my moms message.

Mom

-Hey buddy , we are all sat in the living room but we are watching a film so they are distracted so if you want a drink you will be able to get to the kitchen if you move quick enough.

You

-Alright I'll come down now please keep them distracted

read

I put my socks back on and fix my hair a bit before grabbing my phone and putting it in my pocket then quietly making my way to the stairs. I get halfway down and look to my side to see them all engrossed on the tv so I make a run for it running down the stairs and into the kitchen. I open the fridge and take out one of my Arizonas and slowly walking into the living room. When I reach the couch i sit down beside Chris casually taking a sip of my drink placing it on the small wooden table next to his pepsi. "There you are how was ur nap flo?" he asks still not taking his eyes of the tv but hearing him call u your dead name just felt weird the last time u was called it was a few months ago by a substitute in school but that wouldn't happen anymore as u had just graduated. I didn't answer him as technically he was speaking to no one and this makes him look at me , his head hadn't even turned half way before he quickly stands up Infront of me "What the fuck are u standing up for!" All i do was stare back at him as my body just froze there was two ways this could go he could either hug me and support me or could shout at me and leave and i wasn't sure what was happening. Matt and nick look over at me and do the exact same thing as chris and stand either side of him and because none of them where speaking i decide to.

End of ur pov

"I um.. I transitioned" your voice came out quietly but loud enough for everyone to hear. Your parents thought it was best for u to have this moment alone so they got up and walked into the kitchen shutting the door behind them. "We can see that, when did this happen" he asks in a soft tone but still in shock. It was pretty obvious to those around u that you wasn't a girl anymore u had short hair, a light stubble , you looked more masculine and u was currently wearing black and blue plaid pj bottoms with a vintage tee u had thrifted a few days ago. "Before u came the last time I was questioning it and I made a entire notebook full of things I still have it if u wanna see but anyway I told mom and dad like a month or 2 after u left and it just went from there I guess." "And why did u not tell us sooner?" "Well I wanted to tell u guys in person so that's why I waited till u came back and that's what I'm doing now". The 3 just nod and sit on the floor infront of u "Do you have a name like a name u want to be called from now on?" Matt asks putting on of his hands on ur knee comfortingly "Yeah I do actually , it's Finn but mom and dad call me buddy aswell!" "Good choice bud I like that name". "Do you think you'd ever get surgery?" "Well we looked into it and I'm at the right age as u have to be 16 and I'm 17 but we want to wait a bit before I do as we just wanna go day by day and not jump into it all at once y'know!". Matt looks over at nick and nick just nods knowing what he was going to say "Finn I don't wanna sound rude but who do u like?" "What do u mean who do I like?" "What's ur sexuality like I'm straight so is Chris and Justin but nicks gay so what are u?". I take a deep breath knowing this question was coming and try to hold back the tears but that doesn't happen. Nick is fast to move and sits beside u pulling u into a hug. "You don't have to tell us right now if u don't want to we can wait." "Mhm we will wait as long as u want us to wait" "No ill tell u" you sit back up but take nicks hand and he rubs his thumb against the back of ur hand. "As you now know I'm trans so ur probably thinking I like girls but I don't I still like boys". "Thank you for sharing this with us we are proud of you" "Just so you know we love you even more" "I love you guys aswell" "Guys do you know what this calls for?" "If I'm thinking what ur thinking I'm totally down" "Celebratory McDonald's?" "DUHHH". Nick and Chris run off to the car whilst matt stays back with you. "How about u get that notebook of urs and we can look at it whilst having our McDonald's." You nod and run up stairs to get the notebook whilst matt goes to the car.

35 minutes later

You was all sat in the McDonald's parking lot finishing up ur food and going through ur notebook. "Whys there a photo of my head? Chris questions pointing at the photo "It's because this is one of haircut pages and I liked ur hair back then so I was going to get it but I didn't in the end." "I think you would suit it you should definitely try it one time". "Hold on this is a very important question." "What is it?" "Do u watch RuPaul?" "I love that shit I watch it all the time" "MATT DRIVE US HOME RIGHT NOW ME AND FINN A STAYING UP ALL NIGHT AND BINGE WATCHING RUPAUL START THAT ENGINE!" the car erupts into laughter as matt starts the car to drive you guys home.

@6ix9inewiturmom @nicksbf @thenickgirl @soontosturniolo @delilahsturniolo @dirtylittleheart333 @pvssychicken @nicksbestie @talulahinthestars @nicksgirlfriend @schlutt4matty @obsessionsarenotfortheweak @zariyam @little-bisexual-intern @toysizee @sturniolowh-0-re @sturnobsessedwh0re @vanteguccir @mattthemunchsbiggestfan @delimeats-000 @sturnfannn @slutforsturnioloss @evie-sturns

[sleeplesssmoll]

How do you think vertin would parent the suitcase kids?

I think the best example of how she parents is Jessica's story, but the kids' voicelines also paint a great picture. You can read many of them on the fan wiki.

Vertin for the most part seems to give them freedom, unless its a safety/health concern. She also likes to mess with them too, but in a very playful way. The kids look up to her too. They feel comfortable asking her for things and like her involvement in their activities. Vertin actively engages with them too, which is probably how she fostered these little relationships. Ms. Moissan asks Vertin to help check Sotheby's homework and stuff too, so even the adults recognize her skills when dealing children.

In Jessica's story, when Jessica gets in trouble for misbehaving at the school, Vertin doesn't yell at her. Instead she talks to her and tries to find the root of the issue, while redirecting/guiding her. She also seems genuinely upset by Jessica's expressions of loneliness and dissatisfaction and tries to make things better.

If I had to sum up how she interacts with kids:

patient

playful

invested/engaged in their activities

cares about their health/safety

seems to share snacks with the kids

mentor/role model

stern when she needs to be

Here are some of voice lines to help paint a picture (left out head pats/hand holding but she does a lot of that and its not exclusive to kids). There's a lot more interactions than this and I'm sure you'll see them pop up throughout the game.

Eagle (age 13)

Bond Morning: "Good morning. I will sketch the way you wake up now in my diary." (poor Vertin's barely awake)

Intimacy :Please praise me... Will you?

Praise: Tough. Brave. Never give up. You've done a great job.

Morning: Good morning. Let me help you put the tent away, please. (seems like Vertin took Eagle out on a little camping trip or maybe just set up a spot in the Wilderness?)

Avgust (age 8)

Bond Morning: I prepared breakfast for you! It's Runium slag... The critters told me it's the best food in the world. But I think people don't like how it tastes. My mom says she likes it, though she has never eaten her breakfast in front of me.

Night: I have blankets and milk ready, Vertin. Now you must lie down for story time. The story I'm going to tell is about the Snow Maiden, the granddaughter of Old Father Frost …

Praise You deserve a certificate, or an award, and a medal! I will make one for you. I've seen them make it before …

Intimacy: Could you give me a Picrasma? My snowman needs a nose!

Mondlicht (age 10)

Intimacy: Hey are you free now? I found this book in my room. Could you ... (this once is cute because she's usually trying to protect everyone but here she is being a kid and asking for story time)

Twins Sleep (age 8)

Bond: Night No, no! I don't want to brush my teeth! (Vertin has it tough sometimes)

Spathodea (age 14)

Bond: Morning Vertin, would you like to try a new hairstyle? Like boxer braids... Look, I 100% respect your choice, but are you sure you don't want to give it a go? I've been thinking how perfect it will look on you...

Clothing and Torso: Whoa... No, haha... It tickles... Hahaha! Oh my... I-I have a strange feeling of deja vu. Something like this happened before, but I don't remember what it really was...

Intimacy: Wow, I've never had any chocolate like this! Emm, I mean, it's not the best chocolate I've had, of course. The best one has something to do with a special moment that means a lot to me... While this one, I like it simply because it's appetizing... So, can I have one more?

Chitchat Ⅱ: Wait... Wh-What is it that you're holding? A piece of paper from my... bag? Aaaaah! That's my report card! Stop reading!

[bull-shit-suji]

kuro modern au stuff that i word vomited into my notes app

kind of a Vincent summoned sebastian to save ciel so ciel doesnt actually owe sebas anything

amnesia? idk

single dad moment! except theres this other dad whos kinda find.. (cough agni)

i think vincent was like do NOT let ciel know ur a demon so sebastian keeps it a secret but he doesnt have a good handle on like. Humans. so he kinda does a bad job and ciel definitely knows that he's weird but doesnt say anything. will go out of his way to gaslight you when sebastian does weird shit because he thinks its funny

"hey uhh is your dad levitating?"

"no?"

"he's flying above the school rn"

"that's a bird"

u think suddenly being a butler is hard? have fun being a dad bitch

alois is there but thats complicated. claude and hannah are DIVORCED but on decent terms (i think claude is like. toxic alpha male podcast type guy) and claude sees alois on alternating weekends!

are they demons? i dont know

i think ciel and alois can be friends. platonically. alois would probably say yes if ciel wanted to be romantic but i Promise you he does not. they are just pals :)

im saying ciel has a crush on elizabeth because i can (she's not his cousin here). emo boy x sunny church girl. said sunny church girl has to ask the mcdonalds employees for the blue raspberry slushie they forgot to put in ciel's order because emo boy is too scared.

IM 13 EVERYTHING SUCKSSSSS

grelle is actually living her best life transitioned with anne so they are ciel's aunts on his late mom's side. i think grelle likes ciel. mom figure moreso than anne is.

ciel owns four bongs and definitely a vape or two. come on now

he's also probably got celiac and is lactose intolerant he is just a feeble boy i think

he listens to twenty one pilots. sorry! sorry.

ciel is goth alois is punk those r kinda just the rules

ciel is insanely smart top of the class this shit is easy for him.

yells at sebastian daily. figured out what happened with his real parents around the age of uhhhh 12 or 13? has been an absolute terror ever since

"it was really nice of your dad to bring cookies for the field trip!"

"i hope he fucking chokes on one"

"oh!"

sebastian and claude are pta rivals.

"is this lemon bread store bought? my, how... efficient!"

"you made these from scratch? i can tell."

"i've never seen an interesting looking salsa! very exciting."

ciel purposefully invites alois over constantly bcus it pisses sebas off. alois is Terrified of that man.

"go grab the chips from the kitchen"

"but... what if mr michaelis is in there?"

"mr m- you mean my dad? tell him he can shove a faucet up his ass"

"id rather die on the spot"

sebastian will yell at ciel and is maybe a little emotionally unavailable but he's trying!!! it's hard :(

does that Dad thing where he comes into ciels room and is like hey bud......... what r u up to..

ciel and seiglinde r also palls. the smartest people in school

lizzie is a JOCK. she plays softball.

alois is a theater kid come on now

ciel is best at writing and literature analysis, specifically fiction. enjoys history, language, and Some sciences as well.

nerd

au where myspace is still a thing ciel has a myspace account

he definitely writes shitty poetry

wants to major in business

alois is a glee and pitch perfect truther

[headkiss]

request:))))

one night after his late shift steve’s like 2 hours late and reader crying and worrying and thinking worse case scenario happened and she couldn’t sleep but he went out with robin and forgot to tell u. when he gets back she’s like crying and hugging him but than gets really mad and like they argue idk work your magic😭😭

hey hey!!! this is a little different (they didn’t end up arguing i’m sorry) but i hope u enjoy it nonetheless :) | 0.9k words angst to fluff

Steve’s late. He’s never late.

He would get home fifteen minutes after his Family Video shifts would end because he’d drive Robin home, too. Every time. Every time except for today, it seemed.

When he was about twenty minutes late, you didn’t worry too much, figuring they had last minute customers and had to close late. That was plausible, made sense to your easily frazzled mind.

Ever since the Upside Down invaded Hawkins, and you went through it all with Steve, you worried constantly. It’s why he would usually come home on time, unless he told you he’d be late. This time, he hadn’t mentioned anything.

You were constantly scared that the darkness would come back, enough that you’d make sure your friends were safe and doing okay at least every other day.

When he’s forty minutes late, you start to get nervous, jittery. Your leg is bouncing where you sit on the couch and your hands shake ever so slightly when you bring your cup of tea to your lips.

You curse when the hot drink spills a little.

At the one hour mark you finally give in to your worries and walk over to the phone and dial the store's number. It rings and rings and rings. Nobody picks up. You slam the phone back to its spot and press the heels of your hands to your eyes, trying to get rid of the tears that are threatening to spill.

You’re frustrated. But mostly, you’re afraid that something might’ve happened to him.

You take a deep breath and try Robin’s number next. The ringing seems to be teasing you, taunting you. This time, her mom picks up, and when you ask her if Robin’s home, she says no but that she’ll tell her you called. You thank her and hang up.

You try your best to stay positive, to reassure yourself that he’s fine, he’s okay, but it doesn’t work for very long. The apartment is empty, the space you share with Steve feels like it’s missing something when he’s not there. He lights it up, and his absence is hard to forget.

You think you might be too dramatic, but you’ve also been through so much.

By the time he finally comes home, you’re on the couch, eyes red from crying and the tear tracks clear down your face.

“Baby?” He can hear you sniffling and he takes off his shoes and drops his keys as quickly as he can before kneeling in front of you.

“Steve,” you breathe out.

Then, you’re wrapping your arms around his neck and holding him close, crying again. You think it’s because you’re relieved, the emotions rushing through you for the past two hours echoing through your head. Maybe it’s because of how he looked at you, or, what you saw through your watery eyes. The care and concern, the pinch in his brows and the small frown on his face because you’re upset.

He hugs you back, a gentle hand smoothing down the back of your head to try and soothe you.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

“You’re late,” is all you manage to get out between hiccups.

Steve’s heart sinks because he knows what you mean. You thought he was going to be home hours ago and he forgot to tell you he wouldn’t be. He knows how much you worry and he forgot. He feels awful, so he holds you tighter.

“Baby. I’m so sorry,” he kisses the side of your head. “Went out with Robin for a bit. I forgot to tell you.”

He manœuvres you both so that he’s sitting on the couch, you in his lap so that you’re able to hug more comfortably, bodies closer.

“No,” you say, your tears calming down. “I’m sorry. Shouldn’t freak out like this.”

He pulls back just enough to look at your face, to let you look at his. He pushes away the hair that sticks to your face where it’s wet from your crying, then wipes the tears away, too. He presses kisses to both your cheeks, then your forehead.

“Don’t apologize. This is my fault, okay?” When you shake your head and go to disagree, he cuts you off. “No, it is. Should’ve told you but I’m here now, I'm safe, see?”

He takes one of your hands and presses it to his chest, right where his heart is beating. Alive and strong, a rhythm that calms you.

While you focus on breathing with him when he tells you too, in and out, he continues to place pecks across your face, loving and sweet, little apologies buried in the kisses.

“Will you tell me next time?” You speak quietly, slightly embarrassed to still be so affected by the Upside Down. “Please? I know it’s stupid-”

“It’s not stupid, you hear me? Not after what’s happened to you, to all of us,” his hands cradle your face once more, thumbs stroking your skin. “I promise I’ll be better next time.”

You nod, you know he means it. Steve Harrington has never broken a promise.

“I love you, Steve.”

“Love you too, baby. How ’bout we go to bed and I’ll snuggle you all night.”

“All night?”

“Hell yeah. C’mon.”

He pulls you to your shared bedroom, completes your night routine alongside you, he never strays out of your sight. Then, he does as he said he would; he holds you all night.

[reigningqueenofwords]

Boy, Do I Remember

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Final Part of Little Soldier

As you’d guessed, Nat was livid. Instead of lashing out in front of Dom, however, she simply walked away. Later that night, you were torn. You didn’t know if you should go speak with her...or let her cool off. Dom was with Steve for the night, wrapping Christmas presents, and Bucky would be with you. Now that it was out in the open that you were together, you were going to ask him to just start staying in your room from now on. He said that he’d be up after a workout and a shower. 

You had showered yourself and started tidying up your little place when there was a knock on the door. “Come in.” You called, not wanting to stop your cleaning. Once you did, you wouldn’t want to start up again. 

“So…” Nat sighed as she walked in, shutting the door behind her. 

Swallowing, you stood up straight. “Come here to chew me out, mom?” You raised an eyebrow at her. 

Nat couldn’t help but smirk at that. “Smartass.” She muttered before plopping on your couch. “No, I’m not.” She let her head hang back. “As much as I wanted to earlier. I talked to Steve earlier.” She told you, looking at you as you sat on the other side of the couch. “I still don’t like you and Bucky being together. I don’t think he deserves you or Dom. I think that I’ll always be scared I’ll get a call that he walked out on you.” You gave her a sad smile, knowing that she loved you and Dom so much. “But…” She made a face. “You’re an adult.” You couldn’t help but giggle at her expression. “And I’ll support you because I love you. Even when you’re clearly being dumb.” Her eyes softened as she nudged you. “No more babies, though? At least for now?” 

You snorted. “I can assure you, no more babies.” You shook your head, opening your arms for her. “Come here, you stubborn spy.” 

“Seriously, though! I am a spy, and somehow you two managed to keep this from me!” She sounded both impressed, and a bit offended that she’d missed it. Hugging you, she gave you a squeeze. “He hurts you again, they’ll never find his body.” She told you before pulling back.  Bucky walked in, drying his still wet hair. He paused when he spotted Nat. “Hey, Nat.” He was preparing himself for a lecture, threats, and possibly bodily harm. 

“That’s my cue.” She patted your leg. “Night.” She got up, glaring at him. “I’m watching you, Barnes.” 

He watched her go, the door shutting behind her. His eyes went back to you. “At least I’m still in one piece?” He joked. “She still pissed off?” 

You shrugged. “She’s Nat.” You reminded him. “She still has the same feelings but said I’m an adult and she’ll support me because she loves me.” You put your legs over his once he sat on the couch. “How was your shower?” 

“So lonely.” He winked at you, making you laugh. 

You and your little family had been in the house almost three and a half months by the time the 4th of July came around. Bucky had surprised Dom with a cat the month before, and you’d put him in charge of cleaning up the fur. Why? Because he got the fluffiest white cat known to mankind. His fur got everywhere. Which was why when everyone showed up for the cookout for the 4th...he was trying to get the fur off the couch. As soon as he seemed to get it off, Snowball (as Dom had named him) would jump right back up on the couch and stretch out. “You’re lucky you’re cute and my kid loves your furry ass.” He muttered, shaking his head. 

“Awe, is Bucky getting outwitted by a cat?” Steve teased as he walked in. 

“You want to try to keep the fur off everything with this thing?” He pointed to the cat who was now lying on its back, it’s tail moving back and forth. He let out a sigh and shook his head. “I give up.” 

You smirked as you peeked in. “You’re the one who opted to get the walking duster, babe.” You reminded him. “Come on, Dom wants you guys to kick the ball around.” You’d give the man a break and tell him to google tips later. 

Grinning, Bucky followed you and Steve out to the backyard. Thor was relaxing in a chair, Clint was in charge of the grill, Tony was already kicking the ball around with Dom, Bruce was playing a card game with Sam in the dining room, and Nat and Wanda were waiting for you to join them to chat. 

It was shaping up to be a good day. 

Between the 4th and Dom’s birthday, Bucky had been pulled away for a handful of missions. Both you and Dom always worried about him, which meant Dom would wind up in your bed while he was gone. 

He returned the end of September with the promise that he would be there for Dom’s birthday. There was no way in hell he would miss that for anything. That night, Dom slept between the two of you. You looked over at Bucky, as neither of you could fall asleep just yet. “I love you.” You whispered happily, a sleepy smile on your face.

He lit up, as always. “I love you, too.” He whispered back, rolling over so that he was on his side. Reaching over, he ran his hand through his hair before holding you both. 

“Hey, Bucky?” You breathed, your heart hammering in your chest. 

“Mhm?” 

“Remember when you got back the end of July? From that rough mission?” You started, licking your lips. “And we...celebrated?” He couldn’t see, but you were blushing. 

He smirked. “Boy, do I remember.” He told you. “Why?” 

“I’m pregnant.” You were nervous as all hell, but you’d already been putting off telling him since right before he left on the mission. You had been trying to figure out how , and then he left. Had he never known, you never would have forgiven yourself. He was quiet, scaring you. “Buck?” Your eyes were watering. 

“I’m gonna be a dad again?” He asked, his voice full of emotion. “We’re having another kid? When are you due?” 

You sniffed, thankful that he was happy. “Around April.” You told him. “You’re not mad?” 

“Fuck no.” He assured you. “I’m excited!” 

Dom groaned, Bucky getting too loud. “Shhhhh.” He rolled over in his sleep, making you chuckle. 

Everyone had been told about the baby on Thanksgiving (including Dom, as you knew he’d tell). You had wanted to wait for Christmas, to tell everyone what you were having...but there was no way in hell you’d be able to hide it that long. You were just about 4 months along, and sporting a small bump. Everyone was excited- even Nat. That had surprised you the most, but things had improved with her lately. Thankfully. She no longer glared at Bucky when visiting on the weekends at times. 

On Christmas you announced that you were having a little girl, and you were naming her Kaylee. While you, Nat, and Bruce worked on Christmas dinner, Thor, Clint, Steve, and Bucky spent the day in the snow with Dom. Tony, of course, tinkered with everything. He did every visit to make sure things were safe. Wanda and Sam put themselves in charge of pictures. They wanted to make sure that the first Christmas spent in your house was remembered. 

You and Bucky had opted to not celebrate the New Year. Mostly because you would be too tired to stay up, and he just didn’t care all that much. The three of you had pizza that night for dinner as your ‘celebration’ (code for neither of you felt like cooking or doing dishes), and that was that. 

Bucky let you sleep in on Valentine’s Day, getting Dom off to school before making you breakfast in bed. Smelling waffles, you slowly started to sit up as he came in. “Morning, beautiful.” He grinned. 

“Morning, handsome.” You stretched your arms above your head. He set the tray next to you and got comfortable. Finally looking at your tray, you paused. “Bucky?” You breathed. Sitting in a little box next to your plate was a diamond ring. You looked up at him. 

Licking his lips, he tucked some hair behind his ear. “Will you marry me?” He asked shyly. 

You teared up and nodded. “Yes!” You agreed. Never in a million years would you have seen this coming. He gently took your hand and slipped the ring on your finger. “It’s beautiful, Bucky.” You told him. 

“Bruce helped.” He chuckled. “I called him panicked because I was so overwhelmed at the store.” 

You giggled, able to picture that. “That’s cute.” 

Next thing you knew...you were rocking your newborn daughter, trying to get her to sleep. She was born April 1st (which Clint told you to be careful because she was bound to like pranks…), and watching Bucky with her melted you. She had his hair, which surprised no one. Man’s genes were strong, apparently. Hearing footsteps, you looked over to see said man standing in the door to the nursery. “Let me take over so you can get a nap.” He said softly. 

“You sure? You need one, too.” You told him. 

He nodded, coming over to take the little girl. “Get some sleep.” He kissed your forehead. “I’ll join you when I can.” 

You gave him a loving smile. “I love you.” 

“I love you, too.” He grinned. 

“Mom! Look!” Dom yelled from the living room, making you run from the kitchen where you were getting Kaylee a sippy. 

You came to a halt to see your chubby ten month old walking. She was giggling up a storm and fell on her bottom after a good ten steps. “Oh my god!” You beamed, wishing Bucky was there. You’d sent him out for diapers, as she was almost out. “Daddy is gonna be so proud!” You went over and scooped her up. “And everyone else is gonna be so excited!” You kissed her cheek. 

“Excited for what?” Bucky asked as he walked in, setting the box of diapers down. 

Crouching, you set her down. “Go see Daddy!” You watched her try to balance before trying to get to him. 

Bucky watched her run as fast as her little feet would take her. “I wasn’t gone that long, princess!” He chuckled, lifting her up above his head, sending her into a fit of giggles. Holding her close, he looked at you. “One more? Please? We make cute kids.” He batted his eyelashes at you, giving you puppy dog eyes. 

“Dada!” She clapped, as if agreeing. 

“Oh, you gotta say yes now. I mean, seriously, babe!” He was beaming, and followed as you went back to the kitchen to finally get her sippy. “Please? Pretty please?” 

Little Soldier @ilovetaquitosmmmm @vicmc624 @mrs-bucky-barnes-73 @sebastians-love @differenttyphoonwerewolf @hisredheadedgoddess28

[thoseboysinblue]

On Edge

Reader x Christian Pulisic

You meet Christian’s parents for the first time.

Word Count: 2000+

Requested: Yes

Warnings: Edging, teasing, a little smut (male fingering female)

You and Christian had been dating for over six months, but you had never met his parents in person, only speaking to them on occasion through FaceTime with him. You had been out of town the last time they were in London, but they had arrived yesterday and he wanted the four of you to go out for dinner.

You sat in front of your mirror finishing up your hair and makeup when you heard a knock on the door of your apartment. You answered the door in just a t-shirt and thong knowing it was Christian.

"I think I'm going to call them and cancel" he says with a smirk as he walks through the door, greeting you with a kiss and handing you your favorite flowers.

He leans against the counter in your kitchen, effortlessly handsome in a T-shirt and jeans, watching you as you switch out the flowers he'd brought you last week for the new ones.

He can tell by the way you are acting that you are on edge. As you brush by him to leave the kitchen, he grabs your wrist softly to get your attention. You freeze at his touch. Electricity running through your skin, silently loving and hating the effect he has on you.

He pulls your hands up and around the back of his neck. Your fingers immediately curl to scratch at the back of his hair. "What's wrong?" he asks, leaning his forehead against yours. "Are you nervous?"

"Yes" you sigh. "What if they hate me?"

"You've already met them, just not in person" he reassures you with a kiss. "They won't hate you, it's just not possible."

You melt into him leaning against his chest. "It's just different, meeting them in person, Christian. What if I say something stupid? What if they think I'm not good enough for you?" starting to get yourself worked up and even more nervous.

"Hey, look at me?" He asks and you tilt your head back to look him in the eyes. "They won't think that. They know how much you mean to me and they know how happy you've made me. They love you already, just because of those two things. Just be yourself, y/n, they don't expect you to be anything else."

You nod, accepting his words before heading to your bedroom to get dressed, Christian trailing along behind you.

You slip into a dress as he watches intently. "Is this ok?" you ask as you feel him wrap his arms around you from behind, dropping his head to place a kiss on your neck.

"Mmm-hmm" he hums against your neck. "You look beautiful" as he continues peppering your neck with kisses.

"Is this respectful enough to meet your parents in?" you ask desperate to make a good impression.

"Yes, except my thoughts are anything but respectful right now," he confesses with a smirk ask he lowers his hand to skim up your thigh and under the hem of your dress.

"Christian Pulisic" you giggle as you swat his hand away "behave yourself."

"I make no promises" he says holding his hands up feigning innocence with a devilishly wicked smile on his lips.

You put on your wedges, touch up your make up, and spritz on Christian's favorite perfume. Giving yourself one more glance in the mirror to make sure everything was in its place.

"Ready?" he asks interlacing his fingers between yours and pecking you on the cheek. "As I'll ever be," you smile back nervously.

When you arrive at the restaurant, Christian's parents aren't there yet. Christian gives the hostess the name for the reservation and the two of you go to the bar area to have a drink while you wait.

His parents arrive just as you both finish your drinks, Christian spotting them and waving them over to where you are sitting. He stands up, interlaces his fingers with yours and gives you a reassuring smile and a squeeze of your hand as you stand up.

He never lets go of your hand as he greets his parents, hugging each of them before pulling you into his side. "Mom, Dad, this is y/n, my girlfriend, but you already know that I guess."

His mom greets you warmly with a hug, telling you that you are even prettier in person and that they've heard so much about you from Christian. His dad also gives you a hug and tells you they are happy to finally meet you in person to get to know you better.

You all move to the table reserved for you, Christian maneuvering you so that both of you are sat in the corner with your backs to the wall, his parents across from you.

You and Christian have been here before, it is a quiet, local restaurant, and the food is incredible. You are thankful for his choice as you were comfortable here and with the menu and don't have to think over what you want to order.

His parents order drinks and ask if you would like another glass of wine. Christian orders a water and you do the same, letting his parents know that you try to only drink when he does because it seems unfair to you to drink in front of him when he's mid season and only has the occasional drink.

But Christian insists that you have another glass of wine and goes ahead and orders it for you. Resting his hand on your knee while making small talk with his parents.

As the evening carries on, Christian can tell you have relaxed a bit more, enjoying your second glass of wine and becoming more comfortable as you talk with his parents and get to know them better.

To anyone looking at the two of you, it looks like he's just holding your hand or resting his hand on your leg, but as the night continues, his hand drifts farther and farther up your thigh.

When his hand slips under the hem of your dress, you press your thighs together and give him a warning glare. His parents are bickering over what dessert to order and aren't paying attention to the two of you.

"Christian, don't you dare," you whisper before pecking him on the cheek in an attempt at disguising your hushed conversation.

"I don't know what you're talking about, sweetheart" he grins back at you. "Don't act like you wouldn't enjoy it" he smiles cockily as he pushes your thighs apart slightly inching his way closer and closer to core.

He knows you can't refuse him anything and you hate him for it because it is true. He smirks when he feels you spread your legs just barely, but enough to encourage him to continue.

"What are you two whispering about?" his mom asks, dragging your attention away from her son and his wandering fingers.

You stare at her, a bit lost for words, when Christian pipes up, "dessert, she can have whatever she wants, but I've told her she's sweet enough already," he unleashes his most charming smile on her while you silently hope she doesn't pick up on his innuendo.

He traces his thumb over your covered slit, testing the waters and seeing what you will tolerate before he continues teasing you, running his thumb along your entrance.

As the server returns to take your dessert orders, he bumps his thumb over your clit, earning a bit of a gasp from you which you hastily tried to cover with a light cough earning a chuckle from him. "She'll have the cheesecake. Won't you sweetheart?" he says smoothly as he draws circles over your clit.

You nod in response, too flustered to speak and terrified that anything you do say might come out as a moan.

He continues talking with his parents as he slowly tortures you, eventually slipping two fingers inside your dripping pussy, having to hold back his own groan when he feels you clench around him.

You join in the conversation as you are able, hoping his parents are none the wiser to what is going on across the table. When your dessert arrives, he abruptly withdraws his fingers, earning a whine from you and giving your thigh a squeeze as he leans over to kiss you on the cheek.

"Enjoy your dessert, baby" he says coolly before stealing a bite of your cheesecake.

"You two are so cute together" his mom gushes at you, "I've never seen him so smitten."

"Oh, I put up with a lot from this one" you smile innocently at Christian, "but I guess he's worth it" you reach over to rub your hand along his jaw.

"Does he take care of you?" his dad asks. Your cheeks flush pink as you think about highly inappropriate ways that he takes care of you before you nod at him and reply "yes, he makes sure I'm well taken care of."

This earns a bit of a chuckle from Christian as he absolutely picks up on your dirty thoughts adding "we take care of each other" as he takes your hand and presses it over his jeans so that you can feel his hardened bulge.

You lightly stroke your fingers over his bulge a few times before taking his hand and pulling it to your mouth to place a kiss over his knuckles.

He gives your hand a squeeze before draping his arm over the back of your chair and pulling you slightly closer to him letting you know he was done teasing you for a bit.

Once you've all finished your meals, you make your way to the outer courtyard area of the restaurant. Christian's parents both give you a hug and tell you they are looking forward to seeing you again.

They tell you again how good you are together and how they can tell how happy you make Christian which makes you tear up a little. You hug them both warmly, thanking them for the nice evening and telling them you will see them soon.

Christian's parents get in their taxi to take them back to his house while you and Christian make your way to his car so that he can drive you home.

Once inside the car you turn to him and smack him on the arm with the back of your hand. "Hey, what was that for?" he squeals.

"You know good and well what that was for. Christian, we were at dinner with your parents and I was fighting for my life over there to keep from moaning when your mom was asking me about my job," you snap back at him, but he can tell that you really aren't mad.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to get that carried away" he grins at you. He knows you can't resist him when he looks at you with his big puppy dog eyes.

"Don't look at me like that" you answer as you turn to look out the window knowing that you'll start grinning like an idiot if you keep making eye contact with him.

It made you both love him and hate him that he knew the power he had over you.

"Baby, don't be mad" he sighs, thinking maybe you really are mad.

"Just take me home, Christian" you say, still looking out the window, dying to turn around and kiss him and tell him you aren't mad at all, but you are enjoying making him grovel a bit too much.

Once you arrive back at your apartment, he walks you to your door, smiling sheepishly at you when you open the door and motion for him to come inside.

"I have two things to say to you" you look at him, trying to hold a straight face so that he knows you are serious.

"One, you owe me an apology and an orgasm" you smirk and his eyes light up.

"Two, I'm going to get you back for that, when you least expect it" you raise one eyebrow at him, daring him to counter.

He laughs and pulls you into him kissing you on the forehead.

"I'm sorry baby, but you know you liked it" he mumbles against your lips before kissing you deeply.

"I don't even want to admit it because I know it will just encourage you, but yeah, I did" you cover your face with your hands as you blush.

"Come on, I need to finish what I started" he practically growls at you as he grabs your hands and pulls you towards the couch.

[kaylinlmao]

could you do yandere! poly! TBP boys x reader when someone is sexually harassing you (I only say this because I need some more comfort while this is going on)

I'm so sorry that this is happening. The world is fuxked up. I'll try to make it super long to maybe make you smile. That's all I wanna do with these stories is make friends and make people smile! 😁 everyone in this fic is 18+

As I was walking down the halls, I heard someone whistle and say "looking good baby. Come down to my house. I'll show you what good sex is really like" He grabbed my arm and I saw it was Moose, the school bully. "No thank you." I said quietly, pulling my arm away from his grasp and walking off. "Why not? You already have 5 boyfriends! How can you even keep track, you slut?" I looked at the ground and ran out the double doors at the front of the building. I feel yucky. My arm doesn't feel good. He squeezed it too hard. I go slide down the wall on the side of the school.

He's right. I am a slut. I'm dating 5 boys. Billy, Bruce, Vance, Robin, and Finney. I never thought it was wrong to love so many people. My mom always said that I had a big heart full of love and that I should share it. So I do. She supports our poly relationship entirely. Even if my boyfriends do act a little weird, I still love them! Is that wrong? I understand that they don't act. Normal. I've had boyfriends before. I don't know where those guys went by the way. I woke up one morning to the news saying that they were missing and two weeks later they were found off the side of the freeway downtown.

I never really thought about it but over the past couple weeks they've been acting really off. I think I'll just avoid them until they move on to another girl. Yeah. Hailey says they're toxic anyways. The next day, Moose did the same thing. Asked me to go with him to the janitors closet, I declined, he called me a slut and a whore. I know, Moose. I know. The avoiding the boys wasn't going too good. I have at least one class with them everyday and they always demand I sit by them. Why would they want a slut to sit by them? Why would they want to date a whore?

I sat next to Donna in all the classes I had with her. Everything went smoothly until my class with Vance. I was sitting next to a girl named Maddi, who I had hung out with a couple of times when I saw Vance hovering over the desk. "You're in my seat." He said. "No she isn't! I want to sit by her today! I sit by you everyday!" I butted in. "Its OK, Y/N. I can move." Maddi said. "Yeah, Maddi here can move." Just then the teacher walked in. "Have a seat over here Vance." She said. It was a seat at the back farthest from the door. Perfect! Maddi and I were sitting at the desk closest to the door. That means I can sneak out of class before he can grab me!

After class was over, I got up and bolted out the door. As I was pushing through the doors to go outside, someone grabbed my wrist. Robin. He dragged me around the building to where the rest of them were. "Hey, I really have to go. I have a lot of homework" "Why have you been avoiding us, pretty girl?" Billy asked. "I haven't been!" "You have!" Vance said. "No I haven't! You guys have been avoiding me!" As they looked at each other confused, I took my chance to bolt. You are diabolical, Y/N. Absolutely diabolical. I got to my house and ran up to my room, shutting and locking the door. As I turned, I saw them climbing through my window.

"How did you get here so damn fast?!" "We ran, doll. You walked." I rolled my eyes. "Now, princesa. Cut the attitude and tell us why you've been avoiding us." "I wanna break up" I whispered. "What? No!" I heard a chorus of. "Why, baby?" Finney asked, looking heartbroken. I had a soft spot for all of them and I couldn't stand them getting hurt. Finney started to cry. I layed on the bed, his head buried in my neck and me stroking his hair "No no no. Finn, I'm sorry. I don't really wanna break up. It's just, Moose was sexually harassing me and calling me a slut so I figured it would be best to break up. And you guys are kinda toxic."

Finney looked at me with doe eyes. "Please don't leave us angel. We're sorry. We'll be better, right guys?" I felt so bad when Bruce said, "yeah darling. We'll be better." "And we'll help deal with Moose." Vance added. "Please don't leave us." Finney said again. "Ok." I sighed. "I won't leave you." "Ever?" "Ever" I agreed.

Little did I know that Finney was smirking over my shoulder.

Love y'all! :) -Kaylin

[evermorelynn]

My first fic, please judge it if theres a mistake in it.

Sunday: Blue

Reader: White

Sunday x Fem halovian! reader

Warnings:Death, angsty.

-

The sound of a two Halovian children chasing each other can be hear very well.

The laughings sound so happy. Jokes were been make for each other.

"Ugh! im tired of this running.. I want to rest.."

The young girl breath rushed. Looking over the place to search a place she can rest.

She widen her eyes, and found a perfect spot.

"That tree can be a perfect place, lets go to there. Sunday!"

Sunday can only sighed, when his hand been pulled by her, so tightly. He cant help but smile. Laughing after it.

Sunday was playing with her hair, brushing it. He cant help but feel so soft to touch her hair. He smiled a little. Stuck in the thought of her hair.

"Sunday."

"Sunday,"

"OI SUNDAY!"

"Eh..? what is it [REDACTED]? Im sorry, im thinking about something.. Im sorry.."

"Mmh, its okay! I want to tell you about something! .. So, it was like this! yesterday. My mother said, even the impossible or crazy thing that we thought that we cant do. But we can? how about your opinion about it, Sunday? That old woman is really weird.."

"Dont say like that, [REDACTED].. She is your mother, we should respect to the older one."

"Yeah, yeah. Now, you sound like her. So noisy"

Sunday smiled a little by her comment. Looking at her.

"Sunday, do you usually have a crazy thought when you are alone? like imagine we fall from a building, but we still alive, it will be sound so cool..! how about you?"

"I dont know.. But, that will sound so cool! i mean, we can do dangerous thing. But still managed to be alive and well!"

Sunday replied, looking at her. Who is lay down at his lap. Resting her head. He played her hair. And brush her wings so gently.

"Not wrong!"

"Hey, Sunday. Lets make a promise. If one of us dead, then the other one should revive it. Just like my mom said, there is nothing impossible, then. This is the same one right?"

"Not wrong, but not right too. I promise!"

-

"What is your view over death, Sunday?"

The young girl and boy in the past, already turn into a beautiful, and handsome being. Became more wise, and beautiful.

Sunday look at her. Then sighed.

"My view, over death was something.. weird. What was the meaning of life. If we ended dead, after it? for what? i mean, we've done do a lot. But why, we must go?"

She looked at him, she became quite for a while. Looking at her fingers instead.

"How about you, [REDACTED]?"

Sunday asked to her, brushing her hair. He cant help to be amazed by her beauty. She is still herself, despite being more grown up. And became less energetic. She is still her, the most curious, energetic, brave, kind girl he met.

"To me, death.. Is something.. Good, death is the end of our journey. But yet, some people think death is someone truly gone.. To me, death is just our body who died. Not our soul, so.. We still can see each other—"

"Whats the point of being dead anyway? i mean. Its useless if its only the soul. We still cant met anyway."

"You know, [REDACTED]. I always think. There is a way to revive the dead."

"Lets be realistic. Even a devil itself cant brought a dead people came alive. Nobody can change a fate or death of a creature. Nobody, Sunday."

Sunday paused, looking at her. He sighed. Maybe this is the right moment.

"I love you, [REDACTED]."

She stopped her words, and look at him with wide eye. And a mouth gap.

"What?"

...

"Say it again."

"..I love you.. [REDACTED]. I love you since we are a child, i love you since we first met. And i still love you until now."

"...I dont know what i should feel.. I mean.. I never felt that way, to you. Sunday.."

She spoke, look at him. With an apologetic face. She always see him as a best friend. Nothing more.

"Im sorry..."

"I enjoy and cherished my life with you, Sunday. But, lets say. I never see our relationship as a romantic one.."

"Oh."

"Its okay."

-

He stare to grave with emotionless expression. He sighed, he can feel a little tear coming in his eyes. He placed the flower on top of the grave.

He cant believe it, he swears. He just met her yesterday. And.. then, she been killed by a rivalry of her family..

He sighed once again, holding the umbrella tightly, as the rain seems be crying over her death too. All of people already go, leaving only him. A slight smile. Appear on his face.

The grave is empty. There is no her.

-

Idk what i should feel, but hey. Dont you think it kinda reminds you of someone?

i wonder who is it?

[loving08]

Love or Pain

Nicholas leister x reader

summary: Y/N and Nicholas has been best friends since childhood but Y/N started to have feelings for Nick. will she confess her feelings to him or the entry of Noah in their life will change everything??

Part 6

Noah came down from the spot to look for Nick, when she saw Y/N running from there with Nick behind her she wanted to stop Nick but she didn't, not wanting him to suspect anything but after sometime she decided to go after them.

she knew if she left them alone longer Y/N might tell something to Nick and if that happened her plan will not work. she has seen Y/N and the way everyone treats her, she wanted everyone to give her the same attention and treatment, she was jealous of Y/N and so she made some plan to make Y/N look like a bad person and it was working till now but she can't risk it anymore so she started to look for them.

She found them near Y/N's car but didn't get close to them and listen to their conversation, she heard and saw everything and when Y/N left she got closer to Nick and puts her hand in his shoulder and said "Hey it will be fine, it doesn't matter if she left you or abandoned you okay, you have your family, friends and more importantly me, you will always have me by your side Nick, don't feel bad for whatever you said to her she deserved it anyway, she's an evil person Nick its better if she's not in your life anymore, now c'mon let's go we can spent some time together and change your mood" and gave him a smile.

Nick turned toward her and looked at her angrily and Noah realized her mistake she shouldn't had such thing and bit down on her lips, Nick tried to keep calm and said "I will ask you a very simple question Noah and I just want an honest answer nothing else...., is it true what Y/N said, I know you have heard everything we have said so tell me is it true that you have gone to Ronnie on your own, did you planned that?? tell me Noah is it true or not" at that point Nick was yelling he was not being able to control himself, seeing you cry and hurt making him feeling so much pain that he doesn't know what to do.

He looked at Noah awaiting for her answer, Noah stood still not knowing if she should tell him the truth or not but when she looked up at him and seeing his glare she sighed, knowing she will have to tell him the truth otherwise he will not let it go, she nodded her head while looking down and said "Yes, I did go to Ronnie on my own, I just.... wanted to make Y/N go away from you Nick, she's not a good person I just wanted to help you nothing else".

Nick can't believe what's he's hearing, he just glare at her and Noah continued while looking up at him and said "look what happened we can't change that right and what should have happen ages ago just happened now so let's not make a big deal, we can forget about her, we were going to spent some time together Nick, let's forget about her please, let's just focus on ourselves, on us okay" and wrapped her arm around him.

Nick harshly pulled her away from him and said "are you fucking kidding me, its not a big deal, I hurted her.... I hurted the girl who had done nothing but care for me, support me and... and love me.... oh god I hurted her so much, how can I do that to her" and pulled on his hair feeling heart broken.

He doesn't know what he should do now but he knows he had to gain your forgiveness, he just can't lose you, he can't let you go away from him not when he had realized now how much he loves you and there... he decided, he will do whatever he needs to do to get you back and looked up at Noah and roughly hold her hand and said "there is no us to focus on there never have been, you are being delusion thinking that we can have something between us, your mom had married my dad and in that regard you can only become my step sister nothing more you got it, now you will go back and never and I repeat never think of coming close to me or Y/N or I will let you know what Nicholas Leister can do to someone who hurted his people" and pulled out his wallet and gave her some money for cab and goes to his car and drove off.

Y/N on the other hand reached her home still crying, she wanted to stop crying but the tears just doesn't stop. she goes inside wanting to go to her room and just lay down in the bed and cry, her parents were sitted at the sofa seeing a movie when they looked up to Y/N and seeing her tear stained face they immediately got worried. they got up and walked up to her, her mom wrapped her arms around her and asked "oh sweetie what happened? why are you crying?? did something happened? are you hurt???"

Y/N didn't said anything and just hugged her mom tightly and cried, knowing she can't talk right now her parents took her upstairs, to her room and just stayed with her until she fall asleep. After making sure she was asleep they left her room, coming out of the room they both looked at each other and decided they will wait for Y/N to wake up, to know what really had happened to her that made her cry so much.

Part 7

[chaatandchai]

primrose lane | wjh (UNFINISHED)

hi everyone !! this is a fic i had started writing a long time ago when i had a different account here on tumblr, and over time i lost track of where i wanted the fic to go and consequently lost motivation to write it, too. i'm posting what i've written so far (it's a lot) so people can read if they want.

details: coming of age au, wen junhui x gn!reader, friends to ???, college au, alcohol consumption, i think there's some swearing

wordcount: 19.16k

-- this is my first official post ever on tumblr so please come drop feedback/advice in my inbox or just come say hi !! i'd love to make new friends <3

Maybe it had all started with that newly bloomed patch of bright red camellias.

That was where you had found Seungkwan, crouching among the flowers with his hands over his knees. At the tender age of ten, you could not figure out why he was sitting there like that, so you did what you knew best how to do: ask.

“Um, what are you doing here?”

The boy had glanced up at you like he’d just realized you were towering over him, almost losing balance. 

“I’m playing hide and seek! Isn’t this such a good spot? Jeonghan’s never gonna find me!”

You had looked him dead in the eye. “I could see you from all the way over there. You’re gonna lose.”

“That’s mean! I’m not gonna lose!”

He rose to his feet at this point, and you immediately felt bad seeing the small pout on his face. 

“Okay,” you relented. “Sorry. But it’s true. The flowers aren’t gonna hide you.”

“But —”

He was interrupted by loud footsteps that came quickly down the sidewalk, and a little boy who seemed to be about your age approached the flower bed, laughing delightedly. Behind him was another boy, running a little slower with something bundled up in his arms.

“Seungkwan!” the faster one hollered, almost tackling his friend to the ground. “Found you! See, I told you, I’m really good at this.” Then he turned to you, a little confused and blinking slowly like he’d only just realized you were standing there. 

“Hi,” you’d broken the silence. “I’m Y/N. I live in the small yellow house over there,” you twisted to point somewhere behind you.

“The one with the pretty purple flowers in the front?”

“Yeah!”

The third boy finally approached your little group, and you finally saw what he was holding: a small gray kitten, curled up and fast asleep. 

“I thought that one was empty though,” he said curiously. “Mom said nobody’s lived there for a long time.”

“We moved our stuff in yesterday morning,” you explained. “I’m starting school tomorrow.”

The boys had expressed their joy at this, promptly making you promise to hang out with them more. Friends, they said with bright smiles on their faces. You’d all exchanged names, sitting in the grass watching the sun slowly sink down in the sky, admiring those same red camellias that had just recently bloomed.

At some point you’d scooted closer to the boy holding the now-awake kitten, reaching out to gently stroke its head. His name was Junhui, you recalled, and when you turned to look at him he was looking right back at you.

“He’s so cute, right?” The boy looked fondly down at the kitten. “I wish we had a cat, but my mom thinks we can’t handle having a pet at home.”

“He’s not yours?”

Junhui shook his head. “No. I just found him while I was hiding from Jeonghan. He was all tangled up in the rose bushes, poor little guy. Good thing he didn’t get any scratches.”

You nod, agreeing. “Yeah, that would be bad.”

He watched as the kitten moved to climb over your own leg. “Do you like cats too?”

“Are you kidding? I love them,” you sighed. “I wish I had one, too, but my brother’s allergic so we can’t.”

“You have a brother?”

You wrinkled your nose. “Yeah. He’s two years older than me and he’s really annoying! He thinks he’s so cool even though he’s not.”

“Wow,” Junhui laughed. “Mine is six years old. He’s really cute, but I wish I had an older brother. Like you!”

“No, you don’t,” you told him earnestly. “They’re horrible!”

“Hey, I’m an older brother,” he said patiently. “Am I horrible?”

You looked at him carefully. 

“No,” you answered. “I don’t think so.”

“See?”

“Okay, fine, you win,” you grumbled, laying down on your back. The little kitten had meandered over to Seungkwan, who was trying and failing to teach it how to give a high five while Jeonghan watched and laughed.

Junhui didn’t say anything for a while, but then he turned to look at you again. 

“Hey, don’t you think it’s really stupid?”

“What’s stupid?”

“That this is Primrose Lane but there aren’t any primroses?” He gestured to the flower beds scattered through the neighborhood. “There are camellias everywhere, and there’s a few rose bushes behind Jeonghan’s house, but no primroses. The name doesn’t even make sense.”

You thought about it for a moment. “Yeah, that’s dumb. But it sounds pretty.”

“Hm. You’re right.”

A few more moments of quiet passed by before Seungkwan finally stood, brushing the dirt off his pants.

“It’s getting dark,” he told you. “Mom said I have to be back before it’s completely dark outside. I think we should go home.”

“Yeah,” Jeonghan added from behind him, brushing the dirt off of his shorts. “Y/N, we’ll see you tomorrow right? At school?”

“Yes!”

“Nice!”

Junhui slung an arm around your shoulder and cracked a grin. “Race to the far stop sign? Last one who gets there has to buy snacks for everyone tomorrow!”

“I’m in,” you raised your hand, followed by the other two. “I guess Seungkwan’s buying our food then.”

“Hey!”

Jeonghan broke out into loud laughter, pulling Seungkwan into him for a quick hug. Beside you, Junhui chuckled softly as he prepared to run, shooting you a bright smile as you matched his stance and got ready to go too.

“Three, two, one —!”

Growing up with Seungkwan made you realize that he was far more perceptive than he ever let on to anybody else.

“Jun has the biggest crush on her,” he said suddenly at lunch one day. Your friend in question was picking up his food while speaking to one of your classmates, a girl from your shared science class.

“Really?” You picked up another piece of meat with your chopsticks. “Jang Yeona? I didn’t even know they knew each other.”

“Yeah, but I know him, and I can tell. Look, he’s so far gone already.”

And you weren’t sure why your stomach dropped a little bit when you looked and saw that Seungkwan was sort of correct. You knew Jun well enough, too: you easily saw how he hung onto her every word and looked at her like she put all the stars in the sky. For some reason, it made you a little nauseous.

“Good for him,” you said bluntly. “She’s pretty.”

If you weren’t so intently staring at your food, you would have seen the peculiar look Seungkwan threw your way.

“Hey, what did I miss? You two looked awfully serious from over there.” Jeonghan slipped into the seat across from you, balancing a juice box and a blueberry muffin on his tray.       

“Secretly planning your murder,” you said dryly.

“Oh, cool. At least make it interesting, please.”

“You have become way too comfortable with this,” Seungkwan muttered, giving you both the side eye. 

“That’s because he doesn’t have a choice other than to get used to it,” you explained, placing your share of smoked salmon into Jeonghan’s tray. “You’re all stuck with me now.”

Jeonghan rolled his eyes. “And that’s because when we were ten we didn’t know what a complete lunatic you would grow up to be.”

“He’s kinda right.” Jun’s voice came floating out of nowhere as he took the empty seat beside you. “Also, I will help you plan his murder. Where do you need me to drag the body?”

“To be determined. I’ll let you know later.”

“Noted. Just text me.”

“So,” Seungkwan started, clearly trying to change the topic, “Jun, you’re friends with Jang Yeona now, huh?”

“Eh?” He looked like a deer in headlights, caught off guard with bread in his mouth. “I donfo whafur talkin buf.”

You sent him a mildly disgusted look. “Wen Junhui, please finish chewing that before you speak.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he repeated once his mouth was empty. “She was just asking me about an assignment she missed yesterday. I’ve literally never talked to her before.”

“Uh huh,” Seungkwan nodded along. You could see the gears turning in his head reflected in the mischievous look on his face. 

Of course, you weren’t surprised when Jeonghan picked up on it immediately . “Do you like being around her?”

“Are you guys friends?”

“Do you think she’s pretty?”

“Those are, uh, a lot of questions,” Jun chuckled nervously, nudging your elbow. “Um, can I finish eating first?”

Seungkwan tsked, but left him alone anyways. You knew what he was trying to do, and you didn’t know why you hated the idea of it. Why did you suddenly find the idea of Jun crushing on someone so unpleasant? 

Later that day, you found yourself alone with Seungkwan after the last class, waiting for the other two boys so you could all walk home together.

“You look… down,” he observed, kicking a pebble. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“It is so obviously not nothing,” he probed. “Are you sure you’re fine?”

You didn’t look back at him. “I think so. Just… realized something and I don’t know if I like it or not.”

Seungkwan exhaled and leaned back on the railing, bag falling off of his left shoulder. “Is this about Jun?”

“What?”

“I can’t think of anything else!” He threw his hands up. “Nothing else happened today, unless you did really badly on that math test and you aren’t telling me about it.”

“No, it’s not the test,” you sighed. “I studied way too much to fail that.”

Seungkwan frowned. “Y/N, I can’t help you if I don’t know why you’re upset. And don’t tell me you’re not, because I know you are, and I’d rather you weren’t. I hate seeing you upset.”

“How touching.”

“I’m serious!” He folded his arms. “So it is about Jun, then?”

You hesitated. Even you didn’t really know the answer to that question. Yes it was, but why? What part of it? You couldn’t put a finger on what exactly was bothering you in the first place.

“I guess so?”

“Why, you like him or something?”

You shot him a look, dismissing the idea immediately. “You are so nosy!”

“Well, am I right or wrong?”

“I don’t have a crush on him. That’s stupid,” you insisted, rubbing your eyes. “I don’t really know why I’m annoyed. Just… I know for a fact this is gonna work out for him, because,” you shrugged, “Jun is everything. Everyone likes him. He’s so smart, he’s popular, he’s the sweetest, and it’ll never be my turn because I —”

“If you’re about to say that you aren’t any of those things, I’m going to strangle you myself.”

Again, you glared at him. “I am not opening up to you so that you can threaten me with murder!”

Seungkwan rolled his eyes. “First of all, you’re being extremely dramatic, because we’re in middle school and just because you’re single and lonely now doesn’t mean you’re gonna be single and lonely forever.”

“You sound like my brother, except Mingyu is always telling me the opposite.”

“Yeah, well, Mingyu is wrong and sometimes also an asshole.”

And then you were interrupted by Jeonghan sneaking up and scaring the living daylights out of you, and Jun greeting you with a wave and the book you’ve been wanting to check out for quite a while from the school library. But you thought about it on the way back, silently watching the world around you while the boys fooled around on the sidewalk.

Yes, that was it. You’d just been slightly jealous that you had never been the object of someone’s affections — you weren’t anymore, but you felt that way for a little while, and you sort of hated yourself for it. It was stupid, Seungkwan was absolutely correct, and you needed to slow your brain down and stop worrying.

“Wow, you look exhausted,” Jeonghan remarked, just as the four of you approached your street, that familiar green sign growing closer now. Primrose Lane. “You look like you need a good long nap.”

“I do, and I’m going to take one,” you announced. “Nobody knock on my door until seven o’clock or I will end you.”

Seungkwan frowned at this. “Didn’t we say we were gonna work on homework together at four?”

“Can we do it at seven? Please? Come wake me up and we can work on stuff at my house, my parents won’t mind and Mingyu’s gonna be home late,” you said. “Jeonghan has soccer practice, so he would have missed it, anyways.”

“Fine by me,” Jun agreed. His hand came up to ruffle your hair, something you usually absolutely hated, but for some reason you didn’t really mind when it was him. Actually, there were a lot of things about Jun that you didn’t mind. Things that you often welcomed, in fact, when he did them.

And again, if you weren’t trying really hard to keep staring at the ground, you would have noticed Seungkwan watching you with a concerned look on his face.

“Okay,” he’d said finally, tearing his eyes off of you. (Something was off, but he couldn’t for the life of him figure out what.) “That works. I’ll be there.”

Not much to your surprise, Jun was the first at your door that evening, which also meant that he was the one to see you with extremely messy hair and haphazard clothes. Usually you’d be incredibly embarrassed, but in the moment you were so tired that you couldn’t feel anything other than irritable.

“Did you just wake up?” he asked, removing his shoes and promptly subjecting himself to one of your death glares.

“Don’t even start,” you hissed, marching up the stairs. “Give me ten minutes. Stay here and forget everything you just saw.”

Jun laughed at this, fondly aware of your post-nap crankiness. 

“Okay,” he agreed, watching you disappear around the corner. “I’m gonna get started on math while you’re up there!”

“Good!” came an echo of your voice. “Don’t wait for Jeonghan, he needs to figure out that stuff for himself!”

He only laughed again, louder and clearer this time, and you could hear him from behind your bathroom door. You liked the sound of his laugh. There had always been something so warm and real about the way he expressed his joy that never failed to comfort you as well.

When you’d washed up and finally decided that you looked decent enough to head downstairs again, Jeonghan was sitting at the table with Jun, notebook propped up like he’d only just begun.

“There they are,” Jun clapped. “Finally. You look a little less like a gremlin than when I first got here.”

“I told you not to mention it!” 

You went to punch his shoulder playfully, but he caught your fist, gently encircling your wrist with his fingers. His skin was soft, and comfortingly warm, but the contact caught you off guard and you pulled back sharply, not exactly liking how it made you feel. 

Which was, good. But it was a weird good that you weren’t sure you should be feeling, and you were glad that Seungkwan wasn’t there to witness it again.

Ignoring the slightly hurt look on Jun’s face, you plastered on a smile. 

“Uh, do you guys want something to drink? I’ve got a few cans of soda left, actually.”

Jeonghan raised an eyebrow. “Aren’t those Mingyu’s?”

“Ah, who cares. He can go get more on his own. I’m sick of him bossing me around all day.” You pulled open the door to the fridge. “So?”

“Yeah, sure, I’ll take one.”

Your gaze flitted to the boy beside him. “Jun?”

“I’m fine,” came his clipped reply. 

“You sure? Not even water?”

“Okay,” he relented finally, shrugging. “Just a bit, though.”

Your doorbell rang while you walked back to the table balancing both drinks — once, twice, and then a third time just for good measure. You already knew who it was, just based on how impatient they seemed to be let in.

“I’ll get it,” Jun offered, rising from his seat. He opened the front door to your exhausted looking brother, and Seungkwan who’d arrived not long after him.

“Oh,” Mingyu said at the sight of your friends gathered around the table, slipping his backpack off. “Where’s Mom and Dad?”

“Went to grab groceries,” you answered. “Why don’t you ever take a set of keys with you? You could just let yourself in that way.”

Mingyu shrugged. “Eh.” Then he narrowed his eyes at the can on the table. “Seriously, Y/N, How many times have I told you to stop drinking my soda?”

You rolled your eyes.“It’s one can! And let him have it, Dad’s gonna bring home more, anyway.”

Jeonghan raised his hand in apology. “Sorry, dude.”

When Mingyu was done grumbling and finally left to hole himself up in his room, you plopped back down onto the couch and sighed. “Sometimes I despise him. Exceedingly.”

“Hey, it’s kinda funny watching you guys, though,” Seungkwan said. “Like a soap opera. Except it’s real.”

“I wish I had an older brother,” Jun added gloomily.

“You’ve been saying this to me ever since we met,” you pointed out, still unable to look him in the eye. You didn’t know why. You didn’t know whether you wanted to find out. “And no, you don’t. Be grateful you don’t have to deal with an idiot like Gyu.”

Jun would have said something else (effectively starting another one of your petty little arguments) but Jeonghan interrupted your conversation, tapping his pencil on the table. 

The three of you turned to look at him slowly and were met with a small, sheepish grin.

“Hey, how do you solve double inequalities?”

You hated summer.

Jun loved it, of course, and he could never understand why you preferred winter so much. You let him have that, though, because you liked to watch him be happy. That boy was made to be joyful, you thought sometimes, with how even the smallest of smiles seemed to light up his face. 

So, yes. With a few exceptions, you generally disliked the summer, but this one was exceptionally worse than every single year in the past.

For one, Seungkwan had gone to visit his uncle and aunt in Europe, which meant you would be left without one of your closest friends until the start of the next school year. 

He promised to call your landline every week, and he kept his word, but even that wasn’t enough sometimes. You cherished the time you spent talking to him, but that never meant you didn’t miss him dearly.

Jeonghan was still in town, but you saw him less and less as summer vacation went on, and you didn’t know why. You rarely ran into him anymore, didn’t see him at the park like you always used to, and he almost never answered the door when you went looking for him.

“He’s asleep. Taking a nap,” his little sister told you the one time she’d opened the door instead. You couldn’t tell if she was just covering for him or not. “Do you want me to wake him up?”

“No! No, it’s okay,” you’d said. “Thanks, though, Jeongyeon.”

And as if that wasn’t enough, you’d started to feel like Jun might be slipping through your fingers too. He’d just gotten a cell phone, his mother’s old one that she let him use, and he spent quite a lot of time on it. 

You knew he was texting Yeona — there was no mistaking the smile on his face at every notification, or every time you asked who he was talking to and he refused to tell you, a shy smile on his face.

There had never been anything Jun wouldn’t tell you, at least not until now. If nothing else, this was the clear indicator that something was up with him.

He was still there for you, though, and you appreciated that. As much as he seemed to love talking to Yeona, you knew you could always count on him. Each time you knocked on his door, he was there with a smile, ready to go do whatever you had in mind. 

Maybe you’d just been exaggerating in your head. Maybe you were just a little bit jealous.

You’d confided in him about your worries for Jeonghan too, as you did with everything. (He had always been one of your go-to people, after all.) He wanted to ask Seungkwan for advice as well, but he was on the other side of the world, and the two of you weren’t keen on troubling him when he was supposed to be on vacation.

“It’s okay,” he had comforted you instead. “It’ll be fine.”

And it was fine for the most part — Jun was generally right, and you tended to trust his intuition. This time was no exception. 

You’d both run into Jeonghan not long after on the street, and even though you were least expecting it, you were extremely glad to see him regardless. 

“Whoa,” he said when you launched into him for a hug. “Looks like someone’s very happy to see me.”

“Duh, it’s been a while,” you said, muffled against his shirt. “Where have you been?”

You felt him stiffen for a second. “Oh, you know, just… needed some alone time,” he mumbled. “Lots of stuff going on.”

You chose not to press him further, though you couldn’t understand what kind of stuff could make you hide from your friends for weeks and have your little sister lie to them when they came over.

“We missed you,” Jun added, joining the group hug. It felt nice after so long, and even though Seungkwan was on the other side of the world, you could imagine he was there with you in spirit.

“Were you about to go home?” you asked when you pulled away.

“Oh, yeah,” Jeonghan ran a bruised hand through his hair and smiled tentatively, “but we could just hang out if you want? I don’t really have to be home for another hour.”

That was all you had wanted, really, to spend time with him, and that was enough for you. You smiled watching your best friends fool around and wrestle in the grass (Jun had probably started another argument again) just like you were kids again. 

Even if everything else changed, your constant would be this. You knew that everyone would grow up, and maybe grow away, but your fourteen-year-old heart held it certain that these precious moments would never leave you with time. One day the hastily braided bracelets that sit on your wrists would be gone, but the meaning would never be lost on you.

“Y/N!”

You turned around to Jun holding up his phone directly at you.

“Look at the camera!”

His words came through, and you heard him loud and clear, but you could only focus on his bright, beautiful grin you knew you loved to death. You saw his sparkling eyes, you saw Jeonghan sitting up behind him with wet grass in his hair, making silly faces to try and get you to laugh. And you did. How could you not?

The sun was in your eyes when you smiled, but it could not have been more perfect.

Click!

It had always been extremely hard to keep secrets from Boo Seungkwan, but it was even more difficult to tell him that he was wrong.

“What do you mean you don’t like Junnie? You’re glaring daggers at Yeona right now. You should see yourself, dude.”

Were you? Maybe, but right now you were glaring daggers at Seungkwan, practically fuming.

“How dare you insinuate such a thing,” you hissed, aiming your pencil at him. “I would never develop feelings for my best friend!”

He merely raised an eyebrow and scoffed. “Why is it that you’ve become way more violent ever since we started high school?”

You had to admit that his observation was correct, but in your defense, it was only two weeks into freshman year and he’d already managed to get on your nerves on this topic — a new record that you were sure only Jeonghan had the capability to break.

“Maybe if you would stop acting like you can read my mind,” you muttered, eyes flitting over to where Jun and Yeona were talking yet again. For some reason, you felt bitter about it. 

Seungkwan clicked his tongue. “You’re doing it again.”

“Doing what?”

“That thing where you scowl at Yeona like you think she shouldn’t be anywhere near Jun.”

“Because I do!” you whisper-yelled, making sure nobody else in the library heard you. “She’s nowhere near good enough for him. He deserves someone who can, you know, match his energy and make him happy, but she can’t even put in the basic effort to sound interested when they talk! Isn’t it obvious?”

That seemed to make Seungkwan think. “You know, I never really noticed before, but I guess you’re right.”

You crossed your arms triumphantly. “See?”

“That doesn’t change the fact that he practically worships the ground she walks on,” he added. “I know he won’t tell us how he really feels, but you can’t tell me you don’t see it too.”

“No, I know.” You sighed. “I do. You’re right.”

The look Seungkwan sent you made you feel so vulnerable in that moment — there was a little bit of pity, a little bit of love he had for you as a friend, but there was also that pure sadness. He was sad for you, because you were one of his best friends, but so was Jun. It felt like maybe he wanted to help you, but he didn’t know how.

You tried distracting yourself by downing the rest of your water bottle in one go, doing your best not to look out of the corner of your eye where Yeona was pulling Jun, your Jun, into a tight hug. You weren’t going to look. You shouldn’t. You wouldn’t.

“I’m gonna go insane. There’s way too much happening,” you said, crumpling the plastic bottle in your hand. “God, where is Jeonghan when we need him?”

“Why, am I not helping?”

You shot him another look that was sufficient to answer his question.

“Fair. Well, I hope he’s feeling better,” Seungkwan told you, digging through his backpack. You knew, too, that Jeonghan hadn’t been in school for days — out sick with a high fever, Jeongyeon had told you when you ran into her in the neighborhood yesterday. 

“Me too. I need both of you to survive this hellhole,” you groaned. “Ideally all three, but he’s having his moment with Yeona so I guess I won’t get in his way.”

“There you go, sounding all spiteful again.”

You didn’t bother responding to him this time. Maybe it was because you knew that he was right. As much as you liked to think that he was just coming to random conclusions, you were aware of your shifting feelings. You didn’t like Jun, not like he liked Yeona, you just… it was something different there. It’d changed. When, you didn’t know. It just did.

And you weren’t really surprised when you started seeing them together more outside of school. Your group of four had just dwindled to three now, sometimes two on those days that Jeonghan just didn’t show up. You were happy to have Seungkwan, but the frequent absence of the other two boys never failed to make you a little uneasy.

Because you’d always thought that this would never change, but what if you were wrong?

You let the worry live at the back of your mind. For now, at least. You couldn’t let something so small take over your head, not when you had schoolwork to focus on, and it definitely began to pick up as the weeks flew by.

“By the way,” you said at lunch one day, “what’s going with you and Yeona?”

Jun widened his eyes mid-bite and Seungkwan immediately shook his head like he knew what was coming.

“The last time we asked you about this you avoided the question,” he said. “I think we all know what you’re trying to hide from us, anyway, so there’s really no point.”

“True,” Jeonghan gestured with his chopsticks. You looked at him for a moment and you could swear the cut on his nose wasn’t there the last time you spoke to him.

Jun sighed and set his food down. 

“We’re… not dating,” he said carefully. “I just, I don’t know. I think she’s great. I really like her, man, and I think she likes spending time with me too. So that’s really it right now.”

He looked so happy. You hated that you felt nearly the exact opposite. Sitting there in the cafeteria, you couldn’t help but feel those sharp pangs of guilt that struck you, because what was wrong with you? Why couldn’t you be happy for your best friend?

“That’s great, dude,” Jeonghan laughed as he offered the other boy a fist bump. Seungkwan smiled but said nothing, and he eyed you suspiciously as you pretended to remain unaffected.

“Yeah, that’s great,” you echoed mindlessly. “Really great. Hope it works out.”

From across the table, you locked eyes with Jun. Just looking at him made you feel better; somehow the sight of his face made the uneasiness in the pit of your stomach go away. It was nice, for a few moments.

Then you looked away sharply, because a manicured hand came down on his shoulder as an unfamiliar voice called out his name, and you really didn’t want to watch their… whatever was going on with them.

“Hi,” Yeona giggled. “What happened to lunch together?”

Jeonghan raised an eyebrow and leaned over to whisper to you. “They were gonna eat lunch together?”

“Oh… Sorry, I forgot,” Jun mumbled shyly. “Couldn’t ditch my friends last minute.”

“Aw, I’m sure they’ll live through one lunch period without you.” 

Yeona flashed the rest of you a sickly sweet smile, like she was pitying you, almost. You felt a hot rush of anger flow through your body, and if you had any less self control you would have left the cafeteria then and there.

For Jun, you told yourself. You’re doing this for his sake.

“I’ll sit with you tomorrow,” you heard Jun say. 

“Okay, Junnie, I’ll see you there. Text me later, okay?”

“Yeah, see you.”

She left with another one of her smiles and waved to the three of you, effectively taking any sense remaining in Jun’s brain with her. He sat in silence, quietly eating and smiling down at his tray while you watched him trying to understand why you felt so dismayed.

“Well, that was interesting,” is all Seungkwan said before taking the last bite of his food. You were very glad he didn’t look in your direction, because you weren’t sure you could put on a good enough poker face for him to believe. 

Needless to say, you did not see Jun at lunch the next day. Or the day after that.

Lunchtime without your best friend lasted a long, agonizing forty-seven days. You saw him around everywhere else, and not that you were counting (you were), and not that you cared (you did), but having that empty seat next to you for so long did feel quite off. 

That forty-eighth morning, you managed to corner Jun in the hallway before classes started, a mischievous smile plastered on your face.

“You haven’t been giving us any Yeona updates,” you told him, his back still turned to you. “So? How’s it going?”

“Good,” he said shortly, slamming his locker shut with a loud bang.

The smile on your face dropped immediately. Jun was patient, sweet, and nothing but lovely, but sometimes his temper was not to be trifled with. 

“Whoa. Are you sure, dude?”

“Yep.”

“You’re really not being convincing at all right now.”

He sighed then, and he looked so tired that you instantly felt bad for him. “Y/N, I’m fine. Stop worrying about me, okay?”

And if there was one thing you knew about Jun, it was that he was never fine when he said he was. You could tell from the way his half-smile didn’t quite reach his eyes, and the way he slouched as you headed down the hall with him. Yeah, you wanted to know what was up, but with him like this, you weren’t going to push any further. 

“Okay,” you said quietly. Jun only smiled softly in response, ruffling your hair like he usually always did.

“See you later,” he said, walking off. From where you were you could see Yeona across the hall, nearly glaring daggers at you as she ran a few fingers through her perfectly straight hair. What her problem was with you, you would never really understand, although you were perfectly happy to reciprocate the feeling if that was what she wanted.

While you were deep in your thoughts, an arm came around your shoulder and you almost reflexively kicked the person behind you until you smelled that unmistakable citrus scent, realizing it was Seungkwan.

“You have got to stop doing that,” you warned him. “Or I’ll send you to the hospital someday.”

He just shrugged. “Eh. Your reaction is always worth it.”

“Do you have a death wish?”

Seungkwan didn’t respond, just grabbed your shoulder and steered you away from a crowd of boys you were about to walk straight into at the corner of the hall. 

“Jeez,” he muttered, glancing back at them, “It isn’t that hard to get out of the fucking w— Is that Jeonghan?!”

“Huh?”

“Over there,” he directed your gaze to the distinct yellow hoodie that you knew belonged to your friend. “Didn’t know he was friends with Choi Seungcheol. That’s crazy, man.”

That didn’t need an explanation at all. Nobody in the entire school messed with Seungcheol, and you knew that. He had a reputation, and a whole lot of respect that stemmed from it.

“Who’s that one standing next to Han?”

“No idea,” Seungkwan said. 

You couldn’t not look at Jeonghan; how he looked so small among the group, how he couldn’t stop staring at the ground and the way he loosely held an unlit cigarette in his right hand. It was hard to tell whether he hated it or not. He had always been that way, ambiguous and slightly impossible to read.

You told Seungkwan so, and he only shook his head.

“If he wants our help, he’ll come ask us. You know he always talks to us when he feels like he really needs it.”

And that was correct, so instead of taking a step in Jeonghan’s direction you turned around and walked away instead. You trusted that he would be fine, but what you were less certain about was your fate if you walked into geometry class late yet again this week.

The real surprise of the day, however, came when you arrived at your usual seat at lunch only to be met with Jun sitting to your left, already digging into his box of noodles. You blinked several times to make sure you weren’t hallucinating, then turned to Seungkwan.

“Are you seeing this?”

“I’m just as surprised as you are!”

Jun didn’t look up, or respond to either of you, so you put your stuff down and set a hand on his shoulder. “Dude, what happened?”

“Nothing,” came the monotone reply.

“Obviously it’s not nothing, Jun, how come you’re here? Weren’t you, you know…”

He shook his hair out of his face and looked up at you. “Well, you guys better get used to it again.”

“Wait, are you and Yeona still a thing, or…?”

“Fine,” he sighed. “No, okay? There were a few issues. Will you two stop asking questions so we can sit down? It’s been a month and a half and I just really want to eat lunch with my friends again.”

Jun never spoke to or about Jang Yeona again after that. Every now and then you would attempt to get something out of him, but he absolutely refused to speak about her no matter how hard you tried. At some point, like all aspects of life, it became a thing of the past.

Nobody would be surprised to learn that Wen Junhui’s contact was the first one to be saved in your phone when you finally got one.

It was a beat up, old model that your father had found at the bottom of some drawer, and it barely functioned other than to call and text, but you were content with it anyway. As long as you had a means to communicate with your friends, you were more than happy.

“Who have you been talking to for the past three hours?” Mingyu asked one day, opening your door and peeking through.

You pulled the phone away from your ear. “Jun! Now get out of my room, you doofus.”

“Hah, loser.”

If he thought so, you didn’t care. It ended up being Jun that you called in your free time the most anyways, since Seungkwan had taken up volleyball and Jeonghan was out and about doing nobody knew what. 

He was certainly changing with the years, growing out of the Jeonghan you used to know — a few extra piercings, longer hair, more unkempt uniform. But you just attributed that to the phase of life you were in right now. He still spoke to you often, but things had become slightly more distant.

It made sense. Maybe he needed it. It was best that you gave him space.

You were changing too, all of you. It was just a fact. Seungkwan was three inches taller than you, now, something he took immense pride in, and puberty had hit Jun like a truck.

“You’re literally a tree,” you told him one day. “I can’t believe I have to look up to make eye contact with you.”

“Come on, it’s not that bad!”

“That’s because you’re looking down!”

It wasn’t just his height. His features were much sharper now, and you weren’t sure what on earth he was doing with his hair but you hoped he would keep up with it. He looked good, and you didn’t know if he knew it, but you did, and you were unsure how to feel about that.

A blessing came to you finally in the form of a shared chemistry class with Jun in your junior year. This was a surprise, after years of not being in any together, so you were quite happy as you were looking over your schedules.

“Oh, I’ve got calculus with Jeonghan,” you remarked later, looking at the screenshots your friends had sent in the group chat. “Can’t wait to get humbled.”

“He’s come a long way from needing to be tutored in middle school, hasn't he?” Jun chuckled. “I don’t know how he does it. He’s barely ever in class but still manages to ace the tests.”

“His attendance is pretty spotty, isn’t it? I guess that’s Yoon Jeonghan for you.” You looked at the rest of the blocks. “Do we have literature together?”

“Nope.”

“You’re really leaving me alone with Seungkwan?” you joked.

“Well, I have both physics and art history with him, so I don’t wanna hear any complaints from you, Y/N.”

“Fair.”

As it was your junior year, learning your curriculum was no easy feat. Except for Jeonghan — you couldn’t understand how he was breezing through all his classes — the three of you had your fair share of troubles navigating your course load.

“Between volleyball and calculus, I honestly think I’m just gonna drop dead one of these days.”

“You scored a ninety-six on last week’s test, Seungkwan. You’re doing fine.”

This was the year you ended up making a few new friends through some of your classes, too, since bonding over struggle seemed to be a pretty efficient way of connecting with others. You’d known of Seoyun and Ryu for a few years, but you’d never spoken to them until this year, when the three of you were thrown together for a literature project and none of you knew what to do.

You enjoyed their company. It was good to surround yourself with people you were comfortable with, and aside from the few inevitable bumps in the road, you could say you were doing pretty good for yourself.

Until that one horrendous calculus quiz. 

You’d never failed before. Never. You weren’t the absolute best student by any means, but you were good. An F was something you never saw on your papers, and never expected, but here it was, big and red on the top left corner.

It was more shock than anything else going through your head. You didn’t know how to react, so you just stared down at it until you could feel the tears coming in.

“You okay?”

You looked up at Jeonghan beside you and he immediately winced. 

“You’re not okay,” he decided quickly. “What happened? Bad test?”

“Bad test,” you nodded, hoping he wouldn’t probe further and taking a deep breath so your tears wouldn’t spill over.

“It’s okay. It happens,” he said gently, reaching out to rub your shoulder. “One terrible grade isn’t going to ruin your entire academic career, right? You’re doing fine.”

“But college is right around the corner, and I really need everything to just be right —”

“Don’t have to be perfect to do well,” Jeonghan cut you off with an encouraging smile. “I promise you. You’re gonna be okay, Y/N. You’re one of the smartest people I know.”

“Says you, Han.”

He pushed his bangs back and frowned. “I mean it,” he told you earnestly. “I’m not lying.”

“You really think so?”

“I know it.”

That was able to alleviate your worries a little bit, but when you went home and remembered you had a chemistry test the next morning, you immediately went into panic mode again.

“Hey, Jun?”

“Yeah?”

You balanced your phone on your knee. “Have you been reviewing for the chem test tomorrow?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Do you want to study together? I kinda forgot about it,” you said, embarrassed. “I think I spent too much time worrying about calc.”

“That’s okay,” he said kindly. “Want me to come over?”

He had listened to you rant about your calculus test after school with all the patience in the world, and offered his help if you ever needed it. That was the thing about Jun; he was always patient with you, and he encouraged you to go at your own comfortable pace. You admired that about him.

You let him in happily when he rang your doorbell and the two of you spent hours poring over worksheets and labs, redoing problem sets and memorizing chemical formulas. It was a hard class, there was no doubt about it, but it seemed a little easier with Jun by your side.

Everything did, you mused as you watched him work on a question. Life felt a whole lot lighter when you knew he had your back.

“Wait, I don’t understand why this solution doesn’t work here.”

Jun glanced over at your paper. “Ah, you’re using the wrong formula for two of the calculations. It’s the other one with silicon you need to use.”

“Oh!” you laughed. “Sorry. I can be stupid sometimes.”

“You’re not stupid, Y/N,” he said gently. “You’re one of the smartest people I know.”

“You know, Jeonghan said the same thing earlier today.”

“He’s right,” Jun said simply. “Because you are.”

“I just want you to know you’re speaking to the person who fell asleep walking to class on multiple occasions.”

“Trust me, I’m aware.”

Time passed easily like that with him. It was a wonder, really, how hours could feel like just a few minutes.

“Thanks for the help,” you told him when he started packing up to leave. “I really needed that moral support for a little while.”

“Anytime, Y/N.”

“Sorry about bothering you for so long.” You handed him his bag. “I know this took up your whole evening, so…”

Jun looked at you like you were speaking another language entirely. “Dude, you gotta stop acting like you needing help is a burden.” 

“Are you sure that it isn’t?”

“Not to me. Not if it’s you.”

Jun looked at you sincerely, like he really meant it. You knew that he meant it, which kickstarted something in you that you didn’t even realize was ready to go. It was like something unlocked, finally, and now you knew exactly what had been going on in your heart for the past few years.

The second he was out of your house, you stared at the wall in horror, coming to a belated realization.

“Oh my god, Seungkwan was right!”

The boys had, after some long deliberation, placed bets on who Jun would end up taking to senior prom.

Jeonghan had put five dollars on you and called it a day, after which you called him delusional and an idiot. Seungkwan had decided to one up him and put ten bucks on himself, which you tried to talk him out of while Jeonghan was laughing his ass off, but you couldn’t deter him in any way.

Seungkwan had valiantly tried to defend himself. “Jeonghan’s got the school’s entire female population at his feet and Y/N will end up with some hottie, so obviously me and Jun should go together!”

Jeonghan snorted. “Rethink that part about Y/N.”

You shot him a look. “Just because you’ve gone all classic bad boy now doesn’t mean you’re the main attraction here!”

“What do you think this is for, then?” he retorted, vaguely gesturing towards himself

“Yoon Jeonghan, if you seriously think that scar on your nose and all those chains are doing anything for you, I don’t know what to say.” 

They had tried coaxing out your own personal opinion, but you remained vague, and you certainly weren’t about to put money into their random musings. On top of that, you knew Seungkwan knew how you really felt, and you didn’t want to put any more emphasis on that than there already was.

“We have got to get you a date,” Seungkwan said during physics. “I can’t have you moping around over J —”

“I am not moping!”

“Yeah, right, like you aren’t staring at him right now instead of listening to me or paying attention to class.”

“I’m going to strangle you.” 

“Have fun doing that,” he said, flipping his page, “but I’m not letting you borrow my notes when you call me at midnight because you didn’t take any.”

It was like everything and nothing had changed at the same time, after you had admitted your feelings to yourself all those months ago. You still spent the same amount of time around Jun, and you still bickered and argued like before, but now you were aware of a lot of things you chose not to perceive earlier.

Like the soft touch of his fingers, for example, on your shoulder as he comforted you after a bad day. Like the way he smiled and told you everything was going to be okay. You believed him, because how could you not? This was your Jun, your best friend, and every word he said was a mantra in your brain.

It was such a wonderful feeling, but it stung at the same time, because you knew you were only falling deeper into something that could never happen. 

You couldn’t resent Jun for it. None of it was his fault. You could only blame yourself.

“Hey,” he greeted you at lunch the next week. “What’s up?”

“Well, I just had one hell of a chem class,” you replied, cheeks flushing at the earnest look he was giving you. “Kwon Soonyoung accidentally set the ends of Lily’s hair on fire. It was crazy.”

“Aren’t you supposed to have your hair tied up during labs?”

“You’re also not supposed to fool around holding a lit match.” You took your chopsticks out of your bag. “But it doesn’t end there. Hansol spilled an entire flask of hydrochloric acid on himself and had to go home.”

Seungkwan snorted. “Hansol would do that.”

Jun shot him a look and turned back to you. “Is he okay now?”

“He’s fine. It’ll probably burn for a bit, but he’s gotta shower and wash that stuff off.” You shrugged. “Tell me about your day.”

“It was alright. I feel like I haven’t seen you all morning, though,” he said. “It was weird.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Jun, we walked to school together this morning.”

“I know, I just missed you anyways,” he replied. You made the mistake of looking at him when he said those words, and your breath caught in your throat when you made eye contact, because holy shit was your heart beating faster than ever. 

The sensible thing to do would be to look away, but you couldn’t, because it was Wen Junhui, and how could you not look at the very person who made each moment feel like home?

He opened his mouth again and he looked like he was about to say something to you but Seoyun dropped by just then, inviting you to hang out on the weekend. You would have said it was a welcome distraction, to think about anything but him, but you kind of liked it when he was on your mind.

“I’ll be there,” you told Seoyun, heart doing backflips in your chest.

“Two o’clock, Y/N, don’t forget!”

“I won’t!”

“What are you two getting up to?” Seungkwan questioned while trying to pick up a misshapen sushi roll. 

You winced a little when the wrap started to fall apart entirely. “Just, you know, dress shopping.”

“Oh,” he drawled, and you didn’t miss the not so subtle look he threw your way. You knew exactly what that meant. “You got a prom date now?”

“Well, no,” you admitted, “but I’m not gonna hold off on buying a dress for that. I’ll probably end up going with some friends anyway.”

Jun raised an eyebrow. “Like… us?”

“I meant Ryu and Seoyun,” you clarified. “You’re all gonna end up with dates, so I’m not getting in the middle.”

You could see the slightest disappointment in his face when he processed what you said. “We’re not all gonna go together?”

“Junnie, you’re saying this like we aren’t gonna be with each other for the whole night. Besides, I don’t think Seungkwan is planning on letting you go with anybody else.”

Seungkwan nodded proudly in confirmation.

“Well,” Jun leaned forward in his seat, “I mean, what would you do if someone did ask you?”

The sudden question threw you off a little bit, and you had to take a sip of your water before you could answer.

“Depending on who it is, I’d probably say yes? Ryu and Seoyun already agreed that if any one of us happens to get a date, it’s fine, so... Yeah.” You shrugged. “Why?”

“Oh,” he coughed, shaking his head. “I was just wondering. You know, just in case.”

You gave him an odd look. “In case of what?”

“By the way,” Seungkwan cut in suddenly, “any of you know where exactly Jeonghan is or do I need to hunt him down again?”

You and Jun looked at each other and shrugged, coming up blank, but one of the boys from the volleyball team that had just passed by seemed to overhear you.

“Probably at the back corner of the soccer field smoking with his buddies. Or at home skipping class, but that first one’s more likely, honestly.”

“Thank you, Eunwoo.”

You turned back to your friends, shocked. “Smoking? Jeonghan? Are we even talking about the same person?”

“I’m not exactly surprised,” Jun muttered. “Considering who he’s been hanging out with lately.”

Seungkwan nodded. “Yeah, they can be real jerks sometimes. Now that I think about it, it’s no wonder Jeonghan always showed up with those scars everywhere.”

“Those were from them?!” 

It felt like every day you were learning new things you hadn’t seemed to notice before. How is it that you never saw your own friend suffering?

“I don’t see any other explanation. This is exactly why nobody can say no to Seungcheol and his posse.”

The three of you fell silent, looking at each other with uneasy expressions on your faces. 

“Unless any of you really want to go yell at Seungcheol,” Seungkwan added, “which… good luck with that.”

Maybe you should have intervened back then, but you didn’t know any better. You were used to Jeonghan not needing any of you to look after him; it was always him subtly caring for the rest of you, and it didn’t even occur to you that maybe he needed some checking in, too.

“Well,” you said after a few moments, “I’m gonna head to class now. You guys wanna come with?”

“Yeah!” Jun exclaimed, shooting to his feet. “Yeah, I’ll come. Give me just a second.”

Seungkwan sent you a sly look as he slung his bag over his shoulder. “I’ll let you be,” he said. “Get some alone time.”

“Seungkwan.”

“Maybe you could benefit from some one on one —”

“Boo Seungkwan!”

“Just saying, we are never done talking about this, Y/N,” he replied in a singsong voice before walking away. You rolled your eyes at his back. Typical Seungkwan behavior.

“Ready to go?”

You would never not have butterflies looking at Jun, and this time was certainly no exception. There was no escaping this feeling. He was your best friend for life.

“Yeah, c’mon.”

He smiled warmly at you before ducking through the doorway, and it made your heart skip a beat, even more so when he slung his arm around your shoulders and started telling you about his biology class. It was simultaneously one of the best and worst feelings you’ve felt in your entire life, and that just confused you even more.

It was official — you were so going to kill Seungkwan later.

Thwack!

That was the fourth time over the past few minutes you’d heard that sound against your window. At first, you were set on ignoring it and going back to sleep, but now you were fully awake and very annoyed at whatever was making that goddamn noise.

Thwack!

You swore under your breath, tossing your covers off and marching over to the window. Moving aside the curtain, you pulled it open, and —

“Oh, you have got to be kidding me right now.”

“Hello to you, too,” Jeonghan grinned, like the little demon he was. “Please let me in, it’s so cold out here.”

“What the hell are you doing?” you hissed. “How did you even climb up?”

“I’m good at a lot of things. Now will you let me in? I might fall off if you make me stay here any longer.”

You rolled your eyes at him, but let him climb through anyways, making sure he didn’t knock anything over and cause a ruckus. Mingyu was home from college on his break for the next week and had the room right next to you, and you didn’t want to be interrogated by your brother in the middle of the night.

“So,” you said, arms crossed, “are you going to tell me why you’re in my room at one in the morning?”

“Because you let me in?”

“Yoon Jeonghan.”

“Okay, fine,” he relented. “I really need your help.”

“It couldn’t wait until tomorrow?”

“Nope.”

You couldn’t at all understand why he was being so vague. “Alright. Shoot.”

Jeonghan watched you for a second then shoved his hands into his pockets.

“Go to prom with me.”

“Eh?” You raised your eyebrows. “Me? Why? Wait — ”

“As friends,” he said quickly, raising his hands. “Let me just clarify that first.”

“Okay, good to know,” you said, relieved. “Han, this really couldn’t have waited until tomorrow?”

“No! What if you already had a date tomorrow?”

“And why do you have to go with me of all people?”

“Because, well…” He trailed off and shrugged. “I mean, I don’t have plans, and you don’t have plans. Yet. Also, Taehyung is trying to set me up with someone and I really don’t want to go with her.”

This piqued your curiosity. “Really? Who?”

“Lee Hyojin.”

“Ohh,” you said, understanding why. “Yeah, you two haven’t gotten along since middle school. Bad idea.”

“Yep.” He rubbed his hands together and pulled them further into the sleeves of his jacket. “So, what do you say?”

“Didn’t you bet Seungkwan that it’d be Jun taking me to prom instead?”

He thought about this for a moment, then said, “Yeah, but he’ll lose too, so I’ll get my five dollars anyway. It doesn’t matter.”

You were still slightly reeling from how random it all was, but… it was Jeonghan, after all, and he was right that neither of you had plans, so why not?

“You know what? Alright,” you gave in. “I’ll go with you.”

“Really?”

“Yes, you big idiot,” you rolled your eyes again. “Can we talk about this later? I’d like to go back to sleep before we have to be at school tomorrow.”

Jeonghan sat cross-legged on your floor and looked up at you with a fake pout. “Aw, you’re kicking me out already?”

“Please leave before Mingyu comes in wanting to investigate.”

“Oh, come on —”

“Out!”

The two of you shared a laugh as he climbed out of your window, and you made sure he didn’t hit his head on something going back down. Once he was safely in your yard, you clambered back onto your bed, exhausted and ready to doze off.

Maybe if you weren’t sleepily staring at your ceiling, you would have noticed your phone light up on the desk just a few feet away.

junnie <3: hey idk if ur awake rn butjunnie <3: can we talk for a moment?

“Y/N, can you hurry the fuck up?”

“I’ve been in here for ten minutes, calm down!” you yell back from in front of the mirror, frantically trying to brush through your tangled hair.

You had, in a moment of weakness, hit the snooze button on your alarm this morning, and then woke up an entire hour later to Mingyu slamming his bedroom door shut. In hindsight, a terrible idea, but you blamed Jeonghan’s midnight visit for how tired you had been.

When you finally opened the bathroom door again, Mingyu was standing right there with your bag in one hand and your phone in the other.

“Here’s your stuff. I’m assuming you already ate, but if not I made breakfast. It’s on the kitchen table.”

“Why are you being so helpful?” you asked suspiciously as you took your stuff from him.

“Can’t I just be nice to my little sister for once?”

You sent him a look. 

“Okay, fine,” he sighed. “You got me. I’m just trying to get you to leave a little faster.”

“There you go.” You gave a small smile when Mingyu ruffled your hair and stepped into the bathroom, door locking behind him. He annoyed you immensely at times, but he was your brother after all. He couldn’t not care for you, and vice versa.

Heading out, you scrolled through your phone to catch up on any notifications you missed. There were a few texts from the group chat with Ryu and Seoyun confirming weekend plans, and others from various classmates and friends asking about homework.

cha eunwoo from calc: hey y/n sorry to bother u but what are all the trig identities again

eunjoo: is mr. kyung crazy a 5 page paper due in two days ??????

kwan: girl send bio hw answers PLS i’m literally begging

junnie: deleted a message

junnie <3: deleted a message

Huh? 

You squinted at your screen. There were no texts from Jun after that, and those were sent at nearly one in the morning. Based on when you fell asleep, probably after Jeonghan had left your room.

That was weird. You’d have to ask him what it was about later — later being a few minutes, considering the daily ritual you had of walking to school together.

Sure, some of you could drive now, and it would be a lot easier, but… somehow, this had just stuck over time.

As predicted, you saw the boys approaching in the distance just several moments later. You waved to them, effectively getting Seungkwan’s attention:

“Y/N, I can’t believe you didn’t answer my texts! I was really struggling!”

“Sorry!” you called back. “If it helps, I didn’t reply to Eunwoo either!”

“I’m your best friend, you can’t compare me with Cha Eunwoo!”

Jeonghan merely snorted and Jun let out a laugh, the one that was loud and high pitched and impossibly contagious. You could never get tired of hearing him laugh.

“I don’t even know how he has that much energy in the morning,” he said when they reached you. “I barely got any sleep last night, so I’m dead exhausted.”

“You must be if you texted me at one o’clock,” you teased lightly, bumping his shoulder. “What did you want to talk about? I saw this morning that you deleted it.”

“Oh,” he said, blinking. “It was nothing. It’s fine.”

You frowned at the uncertain expression on his face. “Are you sure?”

“Uh huh.”

“Jun, you know you can talk to me about anything, right?”

“I know,” he agreed gently, carding a hand through his still damp hair, “but it’s alright. It wasn’t that important, anyways.”

It still somewhat bothered you that he suddenly didn’t want to tell you what he’d sent, but you let it be for the moment. If he said it was fine, then it was fine. You weren’t going to push him.

“Looks like none of us slept very well aside from Seungkwan,” Jeonghan remarked, fiddling with one of his earrings. “I feel like all the energy has been sucked out of my soul, too.”

You raised your eyebrows. “That’s on you for sneaking into my room when you should have been asleep.”

Seungkwan gasped. “He did what?”

“Relax,” Jeonghan snorted. “I wasn’t committing a crime or anything.”

“Trespassing is a crime!”

“Well, they let me in, so I think I’m clear of any charges.”

Seungkwan just looked between the two of you, completely baffled. 

“You two are insane,” he shook his head. “Nothing has changed since we were kids.”

“Thanks.”

Jun spoke up then, his smooth, honey-like voice in your ear. “I think you skipped the most important part,” he said, frowning. “Why was he in your house in the middle of the night?”

“Don’t worry, it wasn’t that big of a deal,” you patted his shoulder to calm him down a little bit, “basically, we —”

“Y/N’s my prom date!”

You heard Jun choke on absolutely nothing, coughing violently behind you, and Seungkwan nearly tripped over his own feet. Luckily, you managed to yank him back in time before he fell into the pavement face first.

“Whoa,” Seungkwan said,  balancing himself again. “Sorry, I was expecting literally anything else but that”

“You look really surprised,” you observed with a laugh. “We’re just going as friends, guys. It’s chill.”

He immediately turned to Jeonghan. “You had to sneak into their room in the dead of night to ask them to prom as friends?”

Jeonghan winced. “Okay, when you put it that way…”

“See?”

“Guys, it’s fine,” you repeated. “I didn’t have a date, anyways, so I guess this worked out for the best.”

Seungkwan nodded finally. “Well, I didn’t see that coming, but good for you two! When I finally convince Jun to go with his best buddy, Jeonghan is gonna owe me ten bucks, so I’m just waiting on that.”

The two boys started bickering again and you realized Jun had gone completely silent behind you. He walked with the group quietly, staring at the ground and occasionally kicking along the loose rocks in the sidewalk.

You fell back a little, matching his pace. “Are you okay?”

“Huh?” His head snapped up and he looked at you, hair falling haphazardly over his forehead. “Yeah, I’m alright.”

“Okay,” you smiled softly. “You’ve been pretty quiet today. Usually you’re up there arguing with those two about something or the other. Or me.”

The corners of his mouth lifted ever so slightly, but it was a little sad, just a little wistful. You missed it entirely, glancing off to the side instead of the momentary crestfallen look on his face.

“Well, you know I didn’t sleep that well,” he answered, “so… that’s probably what it is.”

You simply nodded, taking him for his word. Pushing him wouldn’t get you anywhere, and the last thing you wanted was to make him feel uncomfortable.

Jun never brought it up either. Regardless of how urgent it may have seemed to be the night he texted you, the subject was never heard of again.

Everything else seemed to be going great. College acceptances began to roll in. Your course load started letting up, finally, with the impending arrival of graduation. And — you couldn’t discount the small victories in life — you’d managed to find the perfect prom dress while out shopping with Ryu and Seoyun.

You loved how you looked. The sudden rush of confidence had never been better — you felt so pretty in the soft yellow fabric, thin straps resting snugly against your shoulders. It was simple, but more than enough, and you absolutely adored it.

On the contrary, Jeonghan seemed to have a few qualms about it.

“Yellow?” he asked when you told him the next day. “Like bright yellow?”

“Not super bright, but just… it’s yellow, Han, I don’t know how else to explain this. Is there a problem?”

“Nope,” he grinned, tugging on his ear cuff, “but a yellow tie might mess with my look. You know I have a certain image to uphold.” 

You sent him an exasperated glare.

“I’m just kidding!”

“Yoon Jeonghan, be serious, I’m literally begging right now.”

The days leading up to your prom passed quickly and without much occasion. In fact, all of the chaos was only happening inside your head. You couldn’t deny that you desperately wanted to know who Jun was going with, but you didn’t want to bother him about it and be weird. The two of you didn’t speak much either, only a few words here and there and all of your texts left unread.

After all, you were only his best friend. What was the use of spending so much time wondering who he was taking to prom when you knew it was never going to be you? It was absolutely pointless to keep wondering and imagining. You were starting to think Seungkwan was right about you being delusional.

And yet, you just couldn’t let go.

“Oh, Yoon Jeonghan, you never disappoint.”

“Anything for the lady,” he said graciously, but his eye roll gave it away. (He could only pretend to be annoyed with you, and you knew that.) “If Taehyung questions this at all, I’m going home and dyeing this tie black immediately.”

“You will do no such thing!”

“Yeah? Try me.”

Jun only laughed from his spot behind Jeonghan, the one that lit up his entire face, the one you loved, and you would have been able to enjoy it a little better if not for the brown-haired girl hanging off his arm who was desperately talking his ear off.

You grabbed Seungkwan’s sleeve and pulled him a little closer to you. “Do you know who that is?”

“I honestly don’t know,” he admitted after a few seconds. “Literally never seen her around school, but it doesn’t matter because now I owe Jeonghan five bucks either way.”

“Your fault for making a dumb bet,” you shot back.

“What? Who’s betting?” You gasped, not expecting Jun to butt into the conversation, and nearly tripped over your own dress. “Why do you look so terrified?”

“Stop sneaking up on me like that,” you grumbled, smoothing down your hair as he steadied you with one hand. “I’m going to have a heart attack if you three keep this up.”

“You’re going to be fine.”

“Shut up, Seungkwan.”

Banter was not uncommon between you, but the back and forth was suddenly awkward in the presence of a newcomer in your group. It didn’t look like Ryu and Seoyun knew her either, since neither had spoken to the girl at all, so you were truly wondering where Jun knew her from.

Another thing he never told you. You didn’t know how to feel about that, because there were no secrets between you and him. Jun would tell you anything and everything, so this was oddly new.

“Oh. Guys, this is Heejin —”

“Heather,” she interrupted with a loud laugh, fingers twisting the hem of her purple dress. “I don’t go by my legal name anymore.”

“She’s from New York,” Jun continued, a little disgruntled. “A family friend of mine. She happened to be here for vacation, so I brought her here.”

Everyone went around introducing themselves and saying their hellos, but you couldn’t help but dislike her even more the longer she spent with you. You were starting to feel the way you did in middle school again, burning indignantly under Yeona’s arrogant smile.

Jeonghan didn’t seem to notice, too preoccupied with having a good time. And that was fine — great, because you weren’t ready for a confrontation with him, and you were sure he was going to interrogate you if he ever doubted your feelings for Jun. 

“Hey,” Seungkwan found you at the edge of the dance floor, looking a little concerned. “Feeling okay?”

“Yeah? Why?”

“I think you forget how well I know you sometimes,” he sighed, straightening out his tie. “Do you really think I don’t know what’s going on in your head right now?”

“I’d rather you didn’t. It’s pretty embarrassing.”

“It isn’t,” he insisted sincerely. “But clearly it’s just putting you in a worse mood. I was all the way over there, and one look at your face told me something was up.”

“Maybe you’re just paranoid,” you tried deflecting.

“No,” Seungkwan said, smiling gently, “I’m your best friend.”

You let him walk you to the small balcony, claiming you would be fine after a little bit of fresh air, and he didn’t question or push you any further after that, leaving you to yourself quietly. The wind stung your bare arms, but you found that you didn’t mind it all that much. After all, you’d experienced a more searing kind of pain lately while grappling with your feelings for a certain someone. In the face of that, this was basically nothing.

“Y/N?” Speak of the devil. “What are you doing out here?”

You brought your arms around yourself a little tighter as Jun approached you, leaning against the railing. 

“What are you doing here?” you asked in turn. “Shouldn’t you be dancing with Heather and keeping her company?”

“Maybe I should,” Jun shrugged. His hair was all tousled now because of the wind, but he still looked handsome as ever. “But she seems like she’ll be fine on her own. It’s you that I was looking for.”

It was gradually getting colder, and you shifted closer to him in search of some body heat. Jun had always been the epitome of warmth, radiating it like the sun itself, and so you felt infinitely better standing by his side in the night breeze.

Neither of you spoke for a while, and it could have been nice, but you knew that the silence was heavy. So many unanswered questions about the future that you hadn’t addressed were laying there, on top of the slight tension the two of you had experienced over the past week. 

What came next? None of you had brought up college yet, and even though the deadline to make a choice wasn’t quite over, you knew all of your friends had to have an idea of where they were going. And what would become of you then? Your precious group, all those memories you’ve collected for years… 

Jun let out a deep sigh from beside you. “I just want to make it clear,” he started softly, “that I haven’t been avoiding you. Or Seungkwan, or Jeonghan. Not on purpose. And I know I haven’t texted any of you guys back in forever, but —”

“Junnie, it’s okay —”

“It’s not okay,” he said, more forcefully. “You guys didn’t do anything, but I’ve been making you second guess it for like, a week now. I feel terrible about it.”

You placed a hand on his arm to try and comfort him. “That’s not true, Jun.”

“You don’t have to tell me these things for me to know, Y/N. I’ve been your friend for years,” he answered, and you knew he was right. 

“Jun, it’s okay,” you repeated. “You don’t have to explain yourself. We don’t blame you for anything.”

He only lowered his head, eyes shut, like he was absorbing your words, juggling them around in his mind. Every second that passed in silence made your heart beat faster. Had you said something wrong again?

“Lots of things were going on. It was just hard,” he admitted. You hated seeing him like this, anxious and troubled. You rarely saw this side of him, anyway — he was always very good at concealing his negative thoughts, but at times like this he felt comfortable enough to open up to you. “Just — my brother was sick, and then school stuff, and then, you…”

You held your breath, waiting for him to finish that sentence. There were a thousand possible things he could have said, for a thousand different reasons, but you wanted to hear the one in his mind at the moment. 

“I?”

You would replay this moment for the rest of your life. For years from now, you would be recreating the way Jun looked at you for those few seconds. Not quite fondly, but more like he was in awe as his eyes were trained on you. Like he was left speechless, like you were something unreal. You weren’t sure what the look in his eyes meant, and you wouldn’t know until he said something, anything.

“... Never mind.”

Crash, went your heart, shattering into infinite pieces on the balcony floor, the frozen moment cracked, just like that. You could say nothing, couldn’t give yourself away, so you only plastered a small smile on your face, hoping he’d understand. (He wouldn’t. How could he?)

All you could do was watch him as he went on with his apology, all shiny eyed and simply gorgeous under the dim lighting, trying to ignore how you felt like you could barely breathe anymore.

“... I’m so sorry.” Jun paused when he was done to look up at you again, and he seemed startled at your expression. “Y/N? Are you okay?”

You hadn’t realized you had tears welling up in your eyes, but you could feel them threatening to spill now. Silently you willed them not to fall, blinking quickly to get rid of them.

“Yeah,” you managed. “I’m fine.”

“Are you sure? Do you need me to do anything for you?”

“Go inside,” you told him, maybe a little harsher than he deserved. He didn’t know, after all. He had no idea. 

“Y/N —” 

“I just wanna be alone for a while,” your voice came out in a shaky whisper. You hated how vulnerable you felt and sounded, and as much as you hoped Jun wouldn’t pick up on it, you knew he would. 

And you knew Jun. You were well aware that he was the kind of person who wouldn’t believe you whenever you said you were fine, because he saw right through your lie every time. He was a rather persistent kind of friend, trying time and again in small ways to do anything, everything, for you.

But he just nodded now, head lowered, and slowly walked away from your trembling figure. You couldn’t know why — maybe he sensed you truly wanted some space, or maybe he was just sick and tired of you not knowing what you wanted or how to deal with yourself. You would be, if you were him.

It was only after the door slid shut behind him and his footsteps faded away into the liveliness of the night that you let your tears freely fall.

You hadn’t contacted Seungkwan in a while. To be exact, it had been nearly a day since you last interacted with him. Some would call you dramatic, but you didn’t care. 

To you, it felt like an eternity. You couldn’t call him now — he was probably busy — but you were looking at an old picture in your camera roll, a shot taken of the four of you sitting side by side on one of the benches at your high school. It made you feel nostalgic, a little bittersweet, and you wished you knew about his plan to go to college abroad a little earlier. You would have felt like you had more time with him.

A loud knock at your bedroom door startled you suddenly, and you dropped your phone on the floor with a yelp.

“Y/N!”

“Yeah?”

Jun pushed the door open slowly as you checked your phone screen for any cracks. “Are you ready to go yet? Our stuff’s all loaded, we’re just waiting on you.”

Oh, right. You stared around at your room, your belongings all packed in cardboard boxes that were now stacked on top of each other in the trunk of your parents’ car, leaving your walls and shelves nearly bare.

Seungkwan might be halfway across the world right now, but your friends were all attending the same university not too far from where you lived, and you were moving in today, leaving behind the street and homes you’d known for most of your lives.

You didn’t feel ready, and maybe you never would be, but you knew that you couldn’t possibly delay this moment any longer.

“Jeonghan’s driving, by the way,” Jun told you as you followed him down your staircase. He waved hello to your parents as they were tidying up in the living room, and you couldn’t help the way your chest tightened at the small gesture. “I didn’t have much of a choice. He got my keys and was in my car before I was even out of the house.”

“Jeonghan? Really?” 

“I’m dead serious,” he said, opening your front door. “Look.”

There he was, Yoon Jeonghan in all his glory, leaning back in the driver’s seat with his feet propped up on the dashboard. As far as you could recall, he had not driven once since first getting his license (on the fourth attempt), so you weren’t sure if you were going to survive this hour-long car ride.

“Don’t you want shotgun?” you asked as you approached the car. Jun had already headed for the backseat but stopped short at your question.

“Nah,” he shook his head. His hair looked so fluffy, and it made him seem more adorable than usual. “It’s better if you sit in the front with your motion sickness. Don’t want you throwing up on move-in day, do we?”

You hadn’t expected him to remember that. In fact, you didn’t really remember mentioning it to him, so the fact that he knew had you a little bit stumped. (And slightly flustered, if you were going to be completely honest.)

“Oh, you’re here,” Jeonghan greeted you with a devious smile when you were buckled in, lowering his sunglasses dramatically. “I’ve been waiting for like, thirty minutes. What took you so long?”

“Feet off my dash, please,” Jun reminded him from the backseat. With a groan, Jeonghan returned to a normal sitting position, finally starting the car.

“You’re no fun,” he grumbled, making you and Jun chuckle, and pulled out of your driveway. “Have our parents left yet?”

“I think they’re gonna get going in a few minutes.”

“Great. We’ve got a head start.” Jeonghan winked at the rearview mirror, and Jun made a gagging noise from the back. Their antics made you laugh, as always — some things would never change, and your dynamic seemed to be part of that category.

After a harrowing seventy-six minutes, several close calls on the highway, and a lot of swearing from Jeonghan, you finally pulled into the parking lot in front of the university residence halls. Jun had somehow fallen asleep amidst all the chaos, so you shook him awake gently.

“Hey,” you whispered, brushing his hair off his forehead. “We’re here. You gotta get up and unpack.”

“Hmm?” Oh, the sight of him looking up at you with sleepy eyes and half messed up hair made you feel a certain way, had you in a death grip. 

“Let’s go, or Jeonghan is going to lock you inside your own car. You know he can and will do it.”

Jun nodded his agreement and followed you further into the campus. Your parents wouldn’t be here for quite a while, Jeonghan was telling you, so you decided to scope out where your dorms were for the time being.

You were conveniently located on the ground floor, but Jun was on the fourth floor in the same hall that had no elevators, and Jeonghan was in the next hall over. The three of you decided to camp out in your room, so you unlocked the door and propped it open, letting them file in.

“Your roommate’s not here yet,” Jeonghan observed, taking in the blank walls. “So I guess you get first pick, then.”

“For what? Both sides are identical.”

“I don’t know, don’t you want to establish a power dynamic early on?”

“No?” You sent him a funny look. “You’re a menace through and through, Yoon Jeonghan.”

“Thanks. I’ve been practicing.”

While you were busy thinking of something to say in response to that, you heard someone walk in through the door you left open. Maybe it was your roommate, you turned around expectantly, but you froze at the sight of a tall, handsome man in your room. He looked rather frazzled, you noticed, as if he’d just been running through the hall.

“Hey, have any of you seen another dude ‘round here, around this tall and carrying a blue leather notebook with a Cinnamoroll sticker on it?” he asked, the words rushed out of his mouth.

All three of you just stared at him blankly.

“Is he your roommate?”

“That was oddly specific.”

“You like Cinnamoroll?”

Immediately, you pinched Jeonghan’s side for the last comment and smiled warmly at the newcomer as your friend let out a pained yelp. 

“Sorry, we haven’t seen your guy,” you told him apologetically. “Was the notebook important?”

“Well, kind of. It’s my recipe book that I’ve been keeping for a while,” the mystery man explained, sighing. 

“Oh,” you said at this information. “Do you want us to help you find it?”

“Eh, it’s alright. He just likes messing around with me every now and then, he’ll return it soon,” he shrugged, smiling sheepishly. “I’m Mingyu, by the way.”

You went around doing your introductions, and by the time you had him sitting on the floor in a circle with the rest of your friends, you found that you liked Mingyu very much. What was not to like? He was good-looking, smart, and funny — not to mention he was an exceptional cook as well. The last time you were in a kitchen with your friends, they’d managed to burn the ramen and set off your fire alarm. This was a welcome change, and a distraction from Jun that you were very grateful for.

“Wonwoo’s finally done pulling my leg,” Mingyu said after a while, reading his texts with a chuckle. “I guess I’ll get going now. I’ve still got some stuff to put away.”

You walked Mingyu out into the hallway while your friends looked on, one in amusement, and one in an unexplained bitterness he couldn’t quite place.

“It was nice meeting you,” you said, fiddling with the hem of your T-shirt. “You should come around more often. I can tell Jun and Jeonghan really liked getting to know you. Maybe you can bring your roommate over, too.”

“I hope you don’t mind if I take you up on that offer,” Mingyu replied, flashing you a charming smile so wide you caught a glimpse of his sharp canines. “Can I get your number? I-I mean, to contact you, you know… just that —”

You chuckled softly at how nervous he seemed to be and readily swapped phones so you could exchange your numbers. 

Mingyu handed yours back with a contented grin.“See you around, Y/N.”

“See you.” 

When he was finally gone, you spun around to face your friends, waiting for them to say something. Jeonghan was staring at you with his jaw dropped, and Jun had his arms crossed with an expression that reminded you of a grumpy cat.

“Man, how are you pulling within thirty minutes of pulling up to your dorm?”

“Shut up, Han.” You settled back down in your seat and looked straight at Jun. Unflinchingly, he gazed right back at you. His brows were furrowed and he seemed slightly put off, but you still thought he was one of the most beautiful people you’d ever laid your eyes on. 

You cleared your throat with a cough. “Why do you look so upset, Junnie?”

“I’m not upset, I’m just worried for you,” he defended, a small pout on his face. “You don’t know anything about Mingyu! He could just be a really shitty guy who works out for the clout and pretends to be a good cook so he can get phone numbers from pretty girls like you!”

Everything that was in your brain automatically wiped itself when you heard the last part of his sentence, but you quickly hid how flustered you were behind a pointed smirk.

“You think I’m pretty?”

Jun rolled his eyes and flicked your forehead. “That’s not the point, dummy.”

“Ow, what the fuck?”

Jeonghan always had a good time watching the two of you bicker, but now, leaning against the wall, he wondered exactly how long the two of you were going to dance around each other and do nothing about it. Months? Years? When were you both going to just wake up? 

Honestly, he was starting to second guess what he thought he knew about both of your feelings.

“Okay, I’m gonna head out for a moment,” he announced when the two of you quieted down a little. “Mom just texted, said they’re gonna be here soon. I’ll just let them know where we are.”

You and Jun nodded, in sync, at the well-told lie. Jeonghan made sure to slip away quietly, leaving you to quarrel in peace and saving himself from the awkwardness of being an unverified third wheel until your parents really did show up.

Before he left the room, he looked back for a quick second. He saw clearly the way you looked at Jun, understood perfectly what was in your heart even though you had never told him. He only hoped he was right that Jun felt the same.

To your utter and complete dismay, it didn’t take all that long for your seemingly perfect group to fall apart.

You rarely saw Jeonghan after the first few weeks, if at all. Every time you scanned a crowd or street for that familiar black jacket and silver earring, you were left disappointed, and every time you called it was left unanswered. It was like he chose to vanish from your day to day life, and you didn’t know why.

It was a little better with Jun: you still saw each other when you could, and texted often, but it was still hard. After your first semester was over, it was more difficult to align your schedules. He was an engineering major, and you were in graphic design — you didn’t have any classes together as time went by, and most of the things you did outside of class to further your careers were entirely different as well.

The very first time you visited home after moving in, it was three of you in Jun’s beat up car. The second time you went back, it was only you and Jun.

By the time your second year rolled around, it was just you on the short train ride to the station closest to your street.

You wanted to tell Seungkwan every time he called and you talked for hours, confide in him about your worries. Look, you wanted to say, look what’s become of us. You’re in Boston, Jeonghan basically disappeared, and I barely ever see Jun even though we’re both on campus all the time. 

But you couldn’t. Seungkwan always sounded so happy, so cheerful, that whenever you heard that telltale ‘what about you?’, it was impossible to actually tell the truth.

So you didn’t.

The one thing that seemed to be going well for you was your relationship with Mingyu. You met him several more times after move-in that day, and when you found out you shared quite a lot of courses with him, an animation major, falling into an easy friendship with him just felt like the right thing to do.

You’d befriended his roommate in the process, too — Wonwoo was secretly unhinged and wore a quiet facade, and he quickly became very good friends with Jun, who seemed to enjoy the former’s company a lot. They were both in engineering, after all, so you figured they would have found each other someday if not through you and Mingyu.

Things were alright. But they could be a little better, you thought whenever you scrolled through old pictures on your phone, or stared a little too long at the photo of the group you always kept in your wallet.

“Aw, that’s cute.”

You snapped your head up so fast you thought you might break your neck. “Mingyu!”

“Hi,” he laughed at your surprised reaction, sliding into the empty seat in front of you. “Where’s that picture from?”

“Oh, this?” You smoothed a finger over the top of the Polaroid fondly. “It’s from our first day of high school. I’ve got one from graduation in my phone, too,” you flipped it to show him, “so it all goes full circle, kinda.”

“Can I see?”

Gingerly, he took your phone and the Polaroid as you handed it to him, and examined it intently. You watched as he smiled softly at the sight of your adolescent selves, happy and free of the troubles of growing up.

“Who’s that?”

“Who?” You scooted closer so you could see. “Oh, Seungkwan,” you chuckled. “He’s gone abroad for college, living it up in Boston now.”

“You miss him, don’t you?”

You hugged your knees to your chest and tried to ignore the hollow feeling in your chest. “Yeah,” you admitted. “He’s one of my best friends, and we still keep in touch and stuff, but…”

“It’s not the same?”

“Exactly.”

“Man, Jeonghan looks like a whole different person with short hair,” he remarked, moving on to the picture on your phone. You were grateful for the diversion, and you happily poked fun at Jeonghan’s drastic change in style with your new friend while he pulled up old photos of him and Wonwoo to show you in exchange.

It was nice, to talk about the old times. You missed the simplicity of high school, and how close you all were — it was always just a two-minute walk over to Jeonghan’s front door. Now it was thirty-two missed calls, and no response.

“Hey, my design class is in ten minutes, so as much as I loved bonding over embarrassing high school memories, I do have to go,” Mingyu said after nearly an hour of reminiscing over your childhoods. “You don’t have anything else tonight, right? Should we meet in the dining hall at nine?”

“Nine should be good,” you agreed, checking your phone. “I’ll see you at dinner, Gyu.”

“Bye!”

You sighed when he left, finally focused enough to get back into the groove of doing all the work you’d been procrastinating on all day. Unwisely, you had chosen to take a three hour nap in the middle of the day, which meant all your work was getting pushed to tonight.

You opened up a file and were just about to type the first word when your phone started buzzing.

“So much for productivity,” you grumbled to yourself, flipping it over, and your breath caught in your throat when you checked the caller ID. It was always you texting, calling, to try and coordinate plans. How long had it been since he contacted you first? 

“Jun?”

“Hi,” came his breathless voice. “Um, are you at your dorm right now?”

You raised an eyebrow. “Jun, have you been running?”

“No,” he said, but you always knew when he was lying and the inflection in his voice didn’t help his case at all. “I’m, uh, I just got out of class and I don’t really have much else to do tonight, and — do you want to eat together?”

“Huh?” You almost dropped your phone. “Aren’t you busy?”

“Y/N, I wouldn’t be asking if I was.” He paused, and all you could hear was the wind on his end of the line. “I just… wanted to see you. I know it’s been a while since we’ve properly spent time together.”

You weren’t sure how to feel. On one hand, you were slightly hurt that he hadn’t reached out to you earlier, couldn’t make time for you just once — but he was doing it now, and that had to count for something, didn’t it?

Then again, this was Jun. You always had it in you to forgive him, because no matter how upset you were, you couldn’t help the fact that you loved him, plain as day. 

“Alright,” you said finally. “Text me where and when, okay?”

“You got it.”

With that, you ended the call, and shot Mingyu a quick sorry, something came up text. He wouldn’t read it until after he was out of his class, but you stared at it long after it went through, trying to process all of your messy feelings about Jun. 

How had it come this far? Why had you let it get this bad in the first place?

Fifteen minutes passed until you realized you had gotten no work done and were still lost in your thoughts about your best friend. With a frustrated groan, you hid your face in your hands, frustrated to the verge of pulling all of your hair out.

So much for productivity.

You hadn’t realized a person could change so much over the course of a month or two. Sure, it’d been a while since you’d seen Jun, really seen him, but you weren’t expecting for it to hit you this hard.

For one, he’d dyed his hair so that now there were brown streaks in it, and you couldn’t deny that it was an extremely good look on him. Not only that, he seemed more serious, more mature, like he’d finally grown into himself and was confident about who he was.

“You keep eyeing your phone,” he remarked now over a plate of cold noodles. “Did you ditch a date to be here or something?”

You winced, tucking your phone further under your bag. Close. “Not exactly, but I did have to reschedule with Mingyu, so...”

“Mingyu?” A weird expression came across Jun’s face, one you couldn’t comprehend. “Huh. I didn’t know you were into guys like him.”

“What? Jun, I’m not attracted to him or anything, if that’s what you’ve been thinking for the two years he’s been our friend,” you dismissed the idea. How could it be true, when you only had eyes for Jun?

And you’d tried, really. You tried so hard, but Mingyu had always remained a friend, and Jun had remained in your heart, rooted to the ground so deep you could never cut him away and replace him with somebody else.

“Well, I don’t know,” Jun shrugged, eyes trained on his food. “He’s tall, good-looking, smart, makes amazing kimchi jjigae…”

“We’re just friends, Junnie,” you said softly. “That’s all Mingyu’s ever been to me. So don’t worry, okay?”

“I’m not worrying, I’m just saying that he’s a nice guy.” You had no idea where all this was coming from, but it sort of stung for some reason. “And you deserve that, you know. A good person.”

All too soon, you felt your cheeks heat up, and suddenly you were looking everywhere but right in front of you. 

“I — thanks,” you said, “but really, Jun, you don’t have to concern yourself about this. At all. Like, I haven’t dated anyone, and I don’t think I will anytime soon, so…”

“Why not?”

You froze at this, not really knowing how to respond. How were you supposed to react? There were multiple things you could say but none of them were appropriate for the relationship you currently had with Jun.

I’ve been in love with you since we were in eighth grade. You’re the only one who’s always on my mind. I don’t want to go on a date if it’s not with you.

“Never got around to it,” you ended up saying nonchalantly. If your act was good enough, Jun would probably buy it. “What about you?” 

You regretted the question as soon as it left your mouth, and you internally berated yourself for blurting it out the moment it popped into your head. Jun, however, took the question and ran with it.

“Me?” he chuckled softly, setting his chopsticks down and looking back at you. He was silent for so long you’d started to think you’d touched on something he didn’t particularly want to share, but then you met his gaze again and it took you back.

All of a sudden, it was the night of senior prom again, you out on the balcony and Jun standing beside you with the wind in your hair and a multitude of words on the tip of his tongue that you wouldn’t get to hear.

“Never got around to it.”

Again, you masked your disappointment behind a mildly amused smile.

“Foul,” you said with a shake of your head. “Can’t believe my best friend of almost ten years is keeping secrets from me.”

“I’m telling you the truth!” Jun exclaimed, laughing at your expression. “Seriously, Y/N! If I ever get a girlfriend, I’m telling you first. Okay? I promise.”

You weren’t sure how you would react if you ever did hear that news, but for now you just nodded and let the conversation move on to a less personal topic. Jun deserved love too, the pure, sweet kind, and you didn’t know if you could give him that. Maybe what you felt for him wasn’t enough.

“I’m glad we did this,” Jun told you once you finished your meal and were walking out of the dining hall together. It was a lovely evening, cool and breezy, and with his fluffy hair and gentle smile you could almost convince yourself that he was yours, for the moment. “We should do it more often, Y/N. I missed hanging out with you.”

It was like he could read your mind. “I missed you, too.”

You watched him walk away after you hugged him and promised to meet soon with an odd, heavy feeling in your chest, like it was tightly squeezing against your heart and you couldn’t breathe anymore. Jun walked away with your heart in his hands once again, and you could only hope that he would handle it carefully, after all these years —

“Shit, where did I put it,” you muttered as you scrambled to find your ringing phone. Finally locating it in your bag, you pulled it out and had to stare at your screen for a few seconds to figure out whether or not you were hallucinating.

At last, you decided to pick up. “Hello?”

“Hi, is this Y/N?”

That was most definitely not Jeonghan’s voice, you realized, frowning. “Yes? Where is Jeonghan?”

“Um,” the man on the other line paused for a moment, “he’s right here, but I think he’s had a little too much alcohol already and he probably shouldn’t stay any longer. You were the first number in his emergency contact list, so I thought I’d call.”

“Okay,” you let out a relieved sigh you didn’t know you had in you. “Okay. What’s your name?”

“Jihoon.”

“Alright, Jihoon, just… send me your location and hold on to him for a bit, okay? I’ll be there as quickly as I can.”

“Sure thing.”

The notification arrived as soon as you hung up on Jihoon. On the verge of panicking, you entered the address into your GPS and set off in the direction of your destination before you realized you hadn’t brought your car to campus and stopped right in your tracks.

It was only fifteen minutes away by foot. Technically, you could walk… but you didn’t know if you really wanted to head through the residential part of town alone this late at night.

Do I really have to do this right now? 

You debated on it for a while, and then pulled out your phone again.

you: hey

junnie: hii

you: i know its a bit late but can u do me a quick favor pls

junnie: sure whats up!

you: u have ur car right? can u come with me to pick jeonghan up?

junnie: yes i’ll be there asap

junnie: wait what????

you: i’ll explain later i promise

junnie: where are u

you: still by the dining hall!

junnie: ok on my way

It was getting colder the longer you waited outside, and you were on the brink of deciding to go wait in the lounge when that familiar black car pulled up in front of the parking lot. You didn’t need a text to come through to know it was Jun, and you all but ran to the passenger side. 

“So,” he started, eyes on the road as he drove, “what’s going on?”

“Um…” You stared at your hands clasped together in your lap. “I got a call from Jeonghan. Well, it was his friend, but he’s incredibly drunk right now and…”

“Oh.” Jun glanced at the time out of the corner of his eye. “Already? It’s just a quarter past ten.”

“That’s Jeonghan for you, I guess,” you snorted, shivering slightly as your bare skin tingled from the chill. Jun let his eyes shift to you briefly, taking in your frigid state.

“Are you cold?”

“Kinda,” you said, “but it’s fine.”

Jun shook his head, taking a hand off the wheel. “I brought a spare hoodie,” he informed you, gesturing towards the backseat. “Should be over there, if you can reach it, or I can pull over for a second.”

“No, keep driving.” You easily grabbed the hoodie lying on the backseat, and you recognized it as one of his favorites, the beige one with a koi fish pattern on the front. Your stomach felt like it was flipped upside down, and you didn’t know how to comprehend it, so you just pulled it over your shirt in silence.

Every time you thought you were done, Jun would do something like this. He would care for you, show you how much you meant to him, and then you were done for all over again. It was a vicious cycle.

“This is the place, right?”

You shifted your gaze away from him and to the GPS open on your phone. “Yeah,” you said, unbuckling your seatbelt. “I’ll just go in and grab him. Be right back.”

“Wait, I’ll come with you!”

“It’s fine —”

Jun leaned back in his seat and frowned at you. “They’re likely all drunk out of their minds, Y/N. I just want to make sure you’re safe.”

“I’m nearly twenty, I can handle it,” you assured him. You would never actually admit that the real reason you wanted to go alone was that he made your head spin so intensely, you just needed a few moments to breathe. 

“Are you sure?”

“Junnie, I’ll be okay,” you smiled. “I’ll be back with Jeonghan, okay?”

He rolled his eyes, almost comically, and folded his arms over his chest — you had forgotten how dramatic he could be at times, and you chuckled silently at the sight of this side of him again. 

“Alright,” he mumbled. “Text me if you need me, okay?”

You promised him you would with a firm nod and headed towards the house. You could hear the loud music even from where you were and inwardly sighed as you knocked on the door.

No response. You knocked again, much harsher this time, and then it finally opened to a very confused-looking guy with bright blue hair.

“Almost didn’t hear ya,” he remarked, eyeing your attire suspiciously. “Y’need something, or?”

“Um,” you didn’t know how to navigate this situation. “I’m here to pick someone up… Do you know where I can find Jihoon?”

The guy perked up almost instantly at the supposedly familiar name. “Jihoon? ‘Course. C’mon, follow me,” he said, propping the door open wider so that you could step inside.

The first thing that hit you was the overwhelming bass in your ear, and the second was the strong smell of alcohol and sweat that you had never experienced before. You wrinkled your nose as you tried not to lose the blue-haired guy in front of you.

“I’m Yeonjun, by the way,” he told you, and you couldn’t really tell whether he was drunk or not. You could barely even hear him over the music. 

“Cool,” you managed to respond. “I’m Y/N.”

“Well, Y/N, there’s your guy,” Yeonjun stopped walking and nodded over to a more secluded corner. You immediately spotted Jeonghan, sitting on a stool with his head in his hands and accompanied by a much more sober-looking person. “Not sure whatcha need him for, but good luck.”

“What do you mean?”

“See ya!” he called over his shoulder, and he was gone before you could question him further. But you didn’t really care, not when Jeonghan was right there just a few feet away from you.

The man beside him raised his head as you approached them, eyes narrowing before his expression relaxed in recognition. “Y/N?”

“That would be me,” you sighed. “Jihoon, right?”

“In the flesh.”

You glanced down at your friend, still silent and hunched over. “Uh, is he doing alright?”

“He can barely walk, but otherwise he’ll be okay. I got him to drink some water, if that helps.”

“Yes. Amazing, thank you,” you told Jihoon, gently shaking Jeonghan’s shoulders. He just groaned and shifted his head to the side, shoulder-length black hair falling into his face. It would be a silly sight if the context was any different.

“How are you so wasted at ten o’clock on a Wednesday,” you muttered, trying to get him to open his eyes. “Han, we gotta go, okay? I’ll help you get to the car, but you have to work with me here.”

“Nooo,” he groaned again, almost faceplanting onto the granite counter. “Don’t wanna go.”

You pursed your lips. “Yoon Jeonghan, if you cooperate with me right now I swear on my life I will buy you any Lego set you want. With my own savings. Please.”

That seemed to get his attention — you were very aware of Jihoon watching you with amusement the whole time — and he blinked slowly as he sat up on the stool.

“Eh… Junnie?”

That damn sweatshirt. “It’s me, Han, Y/N.”

“Oh!” He laughed then, loudly, and his breath smelled strongly of the alcohol he’d been drinking. “Y/N’s buying me Legos.”

“They are, but only if you make this easy for them,” you said under your breath, helping him stand and looping his arm around your shoulder. “Thanks for keeping an eye on him, Jihoon.”

“No problem,” he replied, still watching the both of you. “You want help bringing him out to the car?”

“Actually, yes,” you admitted, struggling to support both yourself and Jeonghan’s weight. “That would be great.”

After a lot of struggling and many, many swears from Jihoon, you finally managed to get Jeonghan to the car, propping open the door so you could get him into the backseat. Jun was already out of his seat by the time you left the house, and he buckled Jeonghan’s seatbelt carefully so you could catch a break.

“Is he alright?” he asked you quietly once Jihoon had gone back inside.

“He’ll be fine. Do you know where he lives?”

“Not on campus, probably, but I could probably get in touch with his roommate. Hold on.”

You sat beside Jeonghan as Jun typed away furiously on his phone, keeping an eye on your drunk friend as you burrowed yourself further into Jun’s hoodie, if that was even still possible. It was cold out, and the dread you felt creeping up on you wasn’t helping at all.

“Bingo!” Jun turned around in his seat and held his phone out to you. “Got an address. Just a few minutes away.”

You squinted at the screen, skipping the texts and reading the contact name instead. “Joshua Hong?”

“Roommate,” Jun explained, starting the car again. “Do you wanna come sit up front? Your motion sickness is generally way worse when you’re in the backseat.”

He knew you so well, and you hated how it made you fall just a little bit more in love with him each time.

“It’s fine,” you said, those other thoughts dying on your tongue. “It’s not that long of a drive, anyway, and someone’s gotta keep an eye on this one.”

“Okay, but move up after we drop him off, alright?”

The short drive to the apartment was pretty silent, save for Jeonghan’s occasional drunk babbling — you had no idea what he was saying, but you figured once he got some water into his system, as well as some sleep, he would be good as new.

It wasn’t long before Jun was parked in front of a four-story building and the two of you were supporting your friend up one flight of stairs. You hadn’t realized exactly how unstable Jeonghan was until now; he could barely walk up the stairs without nearly tripping over nothing at all.

“Finally,” Jun remarked, pushing open the door to the second floor with a grunt. “Can’t believe the elevator was broken. We have great timing.”

You just nodded along as Jun counted the apartment numbers down the hallway. 

“207, 209, 211… Here! 213.” 

It didn’t take more than one knock for the door to swing open to a tall, blond-haired, very concerned looking man.

“Oh, come in — here,” he said, propping the door open and helping you bring Jeonghan to the couch. “I did tell him to stay home tonight, but he never does listen, does he?”

“That’s Jeonghan for you,” Jun replied, the look on his face a strange mixture of fondness and pain. “He had some water, so I think he should be fine after some sleep.”

“His hangover’s gonna be so bad,” his roommate chuckled, turning to face you both with a gentle smile. “I’m Joshua, from the biological sciences department. You guys must be Junhui and Y/N, right?”

The two of them spoke for a few minutes, and you let them bond while you sat on the couch beside Jeonghan’s sleeping figure. Carefully, you brushed a few strands of stray hair away from his face and mourned the loss of time you could have spent with him, like you did when you were children.

You couldn’t believe how distant he had become over the past two years, like you and Jun were strangers. Radio silence, and then a call from Jihoon to come pick him up. And that was it? Could you ever really go back?

Mid-conversation, you caught Jun’s steady gaze. Do you want to leave? his eyes said.

You looked back at him with all the love in the world that he would never notice. Yes.

The drive back was mostly silent — not the awkward kind, but the easy quiet that you had always had with him. It was always during moments like these when you thought that you and Jun would be good together, in another universe where things were a little different. The two of you had just clicked in a way you never really did with anyone else. The idea that it would likely never be anything more than that made your heart ache, sitting there on the passenger side of your best friend’s car.

Jun pulled up to your dorm sooner than you would have liked. A few more minutes, you had thought, but even that wouldn’t have been quite enough.

“Get some sleep,” he said gently as you stepped onto the sidewalk. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You knew as well as he did that that was a lie disguised as a trite platitude. You weren’t going to see him tomorrow, or the day after. Maybe in a few weeks, if you were lucky, or a month. 

“See you,” you told him anyway. “And thank you for driving me, Jun.”

“Always, Y/N,” he smiled. “Anytime.”

That was a lie, too, even though you knew he wouldn’t ever intend it as such. Over the past year, you had gotten used to Jun’s earnest promises that usually turned up empty. When you did see him, he was always so caring that you could almost forget how you felt in his absence. Things felt like they were just a few years ago, but in reality you anticipated that they would never be the same again.

Your roommate was asleep when you gently shut your door, kicking off your sneakers and shuffling over to your desk, still cluttered from an earlier study session in the morning. While putting some pens away, your gaze fell to the framed photo on your desk, the sunlight in the picture pushing some warmth into your heart.

You looked at it for a while. Those had been good times. Some of the best, even. As children, you had all dreamed of what college would be like, how much better things would be as adults, but this was the one thing you could not have anticipated.

No, it was no good reminiscing now. It was already nearly two in the morning. You sighed and turned the frame over, setting it face down on your desk. It was time for bed.

soo here it is! currently i have no plans to continue this in the near future, but we will see! feel free to come discuss it with me if you like :D

-vedya

[mrspasser]

Finding solace in you

On A03

Listen. Steve is not an idiot. No matter how many times someone calls him stupid, he’s not an idiot. It’s not his fault his friends are all certified brainiacs and that the ones that aren’t on the honor roll have either supernatural (El) or supersarcasm powers (Max). Steve is just Steve. Not good enough to get into college, not good enough to hold his parent’s attention for more than a fleeting moment, not even good enough to make his first real love love him back. But Steve is Steve. He has some good qualities. He can swing a nail bat, for instance. And the person or monster who broke into his home at 2 A.M. and is making a ruckus in the kitchen is gonna see how well Steve can swing that bat. 

Steve is not an idiot. He quickly puts on jeans, a sweater and his tennis shoes, so he doesn’t have to face whoever it is in his boxers. He doesn’t make a noise when he tiptoes down the stairs. He doesn’t turn on the lights. He doesn’t call out a tentative “Who goes there?” and he most certainly doesn’t wait to raise his bat to a swinging position. 

Steve is an idiot.

Because Steve is seeing Eddie in his kitchen. Eddie Munson, who died in Dustin’s arms in the Upside Down and whose body they couldn’t bring with them when they returned to the real world. Eddie ‘The Freak’ Munson, who fought off a swarm of Demobats with nothing but a spear and a shield. Eddie the Banished, who was hunted down by an angry mob because they thought he was a satanic, murderous cult leader. Eddie the Hero, who gave his life to save his friends. Eddie with the expressive face, who gave Steve his vest ‘for his modesty’ and hunts Steve’s dreams every night. Eddie with the doe eyes, who fills Steve with regret about things that never happened but possibly could have, if only if they had more time. More time together.

“Hey man, sorry to wake you,” Eddie says, like he has just seen Steve yesterday instead of four months ago. Like he had not died in Dustin’s arms, his lifeless body too heavy and limp to move with them through the portal. Like Steve hasn’t been living with an overwhelming sense of guilt that clamps down uncomfortably on his chest every time he has a moment to think. Guilt that has him making himself run haggard, keeping himself busy, tiring himself out to the point he can no longer think. 

“Sorry about the glass,” Eddie winces. He holds up the bottom half apologetically, the shards that formed the top half scattered on the floor by his feet. He’s bare footed, only wearing ripped jeans and a torn up shirt. The fingers around the glass are long and pointy, the tips dark. They look like claws. “I was thirsty, wanted to have some water.” He looks at Steve sheepishly, his eyes gleaming in the low light of the moon that comes in through the kitchen window. “I can replace it.”

“Don’t bother. We have a cupboard full of the same damn glasses.”

Steve is an idiot. He shouldn’t be talking to whatever it is that is standing in his kitchen, he should swing his bat and kill the damn thing that wears Eddie’s face.

“Okay.” Eddie moves to put the remnants of the glass back on the counter. It lands on its side, rolling into the sink with a clang. Eddie doesn’t react to it, he looks around the dark kitchen and asks where Steve keeps a broom and a dustpan. 

“Bottom cabinet in the corner,” Steve points.

Eddie nods eagerly and turns on the spot to go where Steve points him. One of the leathery wings on his back rakes over the kitchen island and mows down the decorative ceramic dish that Steve’s mom uses as a fruit basket. It’s been a while since she’s been home, so it’s only the dish that hits the floor, not any fruit. The ceramic shatters when it hits the tiles, small shards flying as far as Steve’s feet.

“Oh shit. I’m really not doing this on purpose, I swear.” It’s a strange thing to see Eddie so meekly, his clawed hands balled in front of his chest, his wings almost drooping.

Steve is an idiot. 

“It’s okay,” he says. “I didn’t like that thing anyway.” It’s true, he always thought the dish with the frumpy vines painted across the surface was ugly. “Stay where you are, I’ll get it.” 

Steve places his bat on the counter and flicks the light switch for the lights above the kitchen island so he can see better. Eddie doesn’t react to the yellow light that floods the kitchen. Steve moves towards the bottom cabinet that holds the broom and dustpan while Eddie makes himself as small as possible in the space between the sink and the kitchen island. He sweeps up the glass and ceramic, noticing that Eddie’s toes are as black as his fingertips when he crouches down by his feet to get the last bits of glass. The nails are longer and pointy. Claw-like. 

Steve sets the dustpan on the counter and gingerly fishes the broken glass out of the sink. Eddie follows him around the kitchen with his eyes, only speaking up when Steve has everything tidied up and puts the dustpan and broom away again. “I’m thirsty.” 

“Water?” At Eddie’s nod Steve grabs a glass from the cabinet - the exact same as the one Eddie broke - and moves over to the tap. It brings him close to Eddie again, who is still trying to take up the least amount of space as possible. He’s fidgeting with his rings, Steve notices, the blackness of his fingertips extending down to the large metal rings. Eddie’s wearing his Hellfire shirt, but it’s filthy and it has a large tear down the collar. Eddie’s collarbones and part of his chest are visible, covered in dirt and tattoos. He’s not wearing the guitar pick necklace, because Dustin took that with him when they left Eddie’s body in the Upside Down. Steve wonders if Eddie misses it. “Here you go,” he says, handing the other man a glass of water.

“Thanks.” Eddie shuffles a little closer and takes the glass gingerly, clearly trying to not break it again. He downs the entire glass in one go and makes a face. He thrusts the glass back at Steve. “More please.”

“Sure.” Steve fills the glass with water again, glancing over his shoulder at Eddie who keeps crowding closer, inch by slow inch. “Are you okay?”

“Sure,” Eddie responds, “just thirsty.”

“You have wings.” It feels like a stupid thing to say, so perhaps everyone was right and Steve really is stupid.

Eddie looks at him quizzically as he puts the refilled glass to his lips. “Wings?”

“Nevermind.” Steve is not surprised when he has to fill up the glass again. Eddie is standing really close now, he looks over Steve’s right shoulder to see how he moves the glass underneath the tap and fills it up. He toys with a lock of curls, twisting it around his black finger again and again. When he bites his lip his teeth are sharp and pointy like his nails. The skin breaks and a drop of dark blood pearls on his lip. Eddie doesn’t show any sign that he even feels it and licks the blood away with a quick flick of his tongue, his eyes never leaving Steve’s face.

It’s disconcerting how much the thing still looks like Eddie, still sounds like Eddie. It’s Eddie’s doe eyes that stare at Steve, it’s Eddie’s lips that curl into a grateful smile when he hands him another glass of water. It’s Eddie’s voice that thanks him, that tells him that he’s “still so thirsty.” And: “Can I have another one, sweetheart?”

By the fourth glass Eddie has moved from twisting his own hair around his finger to scratching his nails through the hair at Steve’s nape. He can tell it’s meant to be done gently, but the nails are sharp and they burn where they make red marks on his skin. He leans against his hands braced on the edge of the sink, his head hanging down between his shoulders. Eddie is a firm line against his back. He’s not exactly warm, but he’s not cold either.

“I’m sorry,” he says.

“For what?” The scratching at his nape stops for a second and then it picks up again.

“For leaving you behind.” His voice catches in his throat. “For not being able to save you.”

The hand leaves his neck and two arms wind around his waist, mimicking a hug. It’s all done carefully, almost lovingly, yet the pointy nails still catch in his sweater and he can feel them lightly prick his skin when Eddie pulls himself closer against Steve’s back. His breath is hot on his neck when he speaks. “I’m here now, Stevie, aren’t I?”

Steve sighs, leaning into the treacherous embrace. “Yeah.” 

Steve is an idiot.

Eddie hugs him even closer, making Steve stand more upright and pressing him against the sink. Steve has one hand on the sink to brace himself, the other is holding on to Eddie’s arm where it is pressed against his chest. The hand with the black finger is splayed across his heart, rubbing the fabric of his sweater against his skin. Eddie noses behind his ear, nuzzling against him in lazy movements. “You smell so good, sweetheart,” he whisper-sighs. 

Steve is an idiot.

He closes his eyes, listens to Eddie telling him how nice he feels, how sweet he is, how he wants to climb inside him and live there. His nail bat lies forgotten on the kitchen counter. There’s a fleeting sense of regret when he thinks of Robin, of Dustin and the other kids, but it’s forgotten when Eddie’s hand caresses his throat, his lips traveling the line of Steve’s jaw.

“I’m so thirsty, sweetheart,” Eddie croons in a quiet voice, only for Steve to hear.

Steve doesn’t open his eyes. He feels drunk and lucid at the same time. “I know,” he whispers back.

The hand on his throat moves up, sharp nails scratching his cheek but only barely, coaxing him to look at Eddie. Dark, half lidded eyes catch his and cool lips press a kiss against the corner of his mouth. “I want you to be mine, Stevie, mine alone.”

Steve shudders, his breath catching in his throat. He doesn’t try to move away from Eddie’s hold, feels himself sinking into it instead.

“Do you want to be mine, sweetheart?”

“Y- you promise?” It’s more a breath than a whisper, but Eddie hears it anyway. More importantly, he understands. He breathes in deeply, humming softly, happily. 

“I will be so good to you, Stevie,” Eddie promises. “You will be mine and I will be yours.”

Steve knows that what Eddie is promising him is not good. That there’ll be pain and grief and despair. But that’s familiar. Steve knows pain and grief and despair. And he knows loneliness. So when Eddie asks him again: “Do you want to be mine?”

“Y-yes.”

Eddie’s teeth are sharp and it’s more tearing than biting. His blood is warm when it runs down his throat. Steve feels his body growing colder, his vision swimming. But Eddie holds him close, keeps pressing bloody kisses to his skin, keeps telling Steve the same thing over and over again: “You are mine and I am yours.” 

Right before everything goes black, Steve knows that it’s the truth.

“You are mine and I am yours.”

[silly-thinkings]

Hopeful Nightmare~

This is a continuation of the Filler chapters for “Vacation gone wrong” (Part 1 here!) Please note that the original fic is a stand alone one-shot and this is just something I wrote for fun, while I slowly work on my other chapter fics.  Thank you for reading! please remember: I do not own these Characters, they belong to DC Comics.  ~One Year Later~ Damian looked at his reflection amongst the glass case that held his fathers suit. Hours had gone by, and yet he still couldn’t leave from that spot. Damian heard sudden foot steps from behind him. He focused on the reflection to see non other then Dick Grayson approach him. “Hey, I know that suit is a heavy one. You don’t have to keep doing this. I can take over if you-” “This is my birthright Grayson.” Damian Turned around “Besides, you’ve made it pretty clear that you wanted nothing to do with Batman.” Dick crossed his arms as he let out a sigh “Damian, You’re only sixteen. And its clear that you’re still thinking about-” “Don’t you dare say their names.” Damian straightened his poster “It’s been a year since mother and father… Since they… Tsk You must be here to pester me. You’ve never visited when they were alive. You never called after you moved away. So why must you annoy us now?” Dick maintained the eye contact from his younger brother. “It wasn’t like that and you know it. I had to leave, to figure out who I was.” Dick pushed Damian back with his finger “You did the same thing ya hypocrite. At least I didn’t Disrespect Mom like you did when you got here.” Damian was about the swing before he felt a hand on his chest. The two brothers looked beside them to see Cassandra gently pushing them apart “Stop. please,” The cave went quiet. The only sound came from the bats on the roof. “Alfred Needs help in the kitchen. He asked for you specifically Damian.” Cassandra said softer as she gently pulled Damian away. The teen sucked his teeth before leaving. At the sound of the grandfather clock sliding closed, Cassandra turned to her older Brother. Dick brushed his fingers through his hair as he looked at the Suit. “Forgive him Dick. He’s still hurting. We all are.” Dick looked to Cassandra who was fiddling with a necklace. A necklace that was missing another half “No, he has a point. I wanted to get out of Bruce’s shadow so badly. I was also caught up with my police work in Bludhaven that I pushed mom away.” Before the trip, he and Bruce would get into nasty arguments in regards of how to save people. And yet, Y/N managed to plan and convince everyone to come together as a family. Cassandra took a deep breath as she noticed his posture. The slumped shoulders, bags under his eyes, messy hair. “Come, Alfred want you to join us.” ** Jason laid in his bed staring at the broken up popcorn ceiling. The sound of car horns and random city noise faintly heard in the distance as he pondered about the one thing he’d surly get in trouble for. Roy peaked into the room and noticed the fancy envelope on the coffee table “You’re not going again?” Jason closed his eyes as Roy stood by the entrance with his arms crossed. “No” Roy let out an annoyed sigh “Why are you running away?” “I’m not” Jason grumbled as he turned his body to face away from his friend. “You haven’t seen them since… the accident.” Roy noticed Jason flinch at the mention of that tragic day. “You know how much family meant to your parents, and you’re running away from the very people who have been trying to-.” “Shut up, don’t talk out of your ass. You’re asking to get shot.” Roy walked towards Jason and tossed sealed mails “Distancing yourself isn’t the answer. Talk to me” Jason let out a huff before attempting to leave the rickety apartment. “Jay!” “Fuck off” “Jason I will annoy you till I get an actual answer” Roy went up to his friend and grabbed his arm. He was met with a punch that sent him back a couple of steps. “I couldn’t do anything!” Jason shouted. He felt his head spinning. His fists tightened as he straightened up to face Roy “I, Jason Todd. Red Hood. The man back from the dead. The guy that runs these corrupts streets. I couldn’t Save my fucking Parents! You think I can face the rest of them? After I Failed all of them?!” Roy rubbed his cheek as he crisscrossed his feet “You blame yourself.” Jason turned to face the window. He looked down in his hands “Everyday I think about that night. The court of Owls, they are the ones responsible, and yet I cant avenge them properly.” “Because you want to kill them? Ya know, Avenge and Revenge are two very different things. You guys... The Waynes, have not only pressed charges but actually took them down through the justice system. You’ve already Avenged them Jason. Seems like what you’re craving is to blow some heads.” Jason went quiet yet again. Roy finally stood “Well, let me say this. you’re doing something far greater then Revenge.” “Oh yea? And what am I doing?” Roy tossed one of Jasons guns. The man caught it, confused “rubber bullets.” Roy smiled before he nudged his head towards the invitation pile “Jason, If your family truly blamed you for what happened. Would they really put in this much effort to see you? ” *** Tim typed on his laptop slowly as he took another sip of his coffee. Dinner was awkward to say the least. Having Dick back for some time surly eased his mind. However Damian’s hostility didn’t go unnoticed. If it wasn’t for Alfred surly another argument would Ensue. Honestly, Tim hasn’t gotten better all this time. Sure he’s functioning, leading Wayne enterprises and fighting the bad guys. Stephanie however was the most perceptive with his dramatic change since that night. Locking himself in his room practically glued on his laptop.  Stephanie slowly opened the door to his room. “Timmy… it’s time for sleep. Don’t worry about patrol tonight. Cas and I got it.” She looked around to see a messy room. Except for his trophy stand. That space hasn’t been touched, since it was the last thing Y/N and Bruce build and organized with him. Tim let out a slight chuckle. Sleep. Something the family hasn’t been doing so well on. The only person able to put Tim to bed passed away in her husbands arms. “Ill be done in a minute” Annoyed Stephanie looked at how he sat in front of the laptop screen. The clear bags under his eyes. The lack of self care or organization. She finally had enough of leaving him alone to grieve. she snatched the laptop. Removing the headphones in the process “Tim! You can’t run away. We are here. You’ve been avoiding us and getting lost in this damn computer!”  Tim watched with wide eyes as she carelessly moved the device. “Give it back.” “Hell no.” “Stop waving it around like that!” “Or what.” Cassandra and Damian entered the room. Cassandra immediately noticed Tim’s shaky hands and Stephanie’s stand-offish demeanor.  “P-please.” he pleaded. It was so soft, as if a mouse spoke to them. The headphones finally fell to the floor. Disconnecting it in the process.  “Todd! Unhand me you baboon.” “Ma! Watch me throw the blood son in the lake.” “Jay be careful!” Everyone froze. The sound of their mothers voice sent chills down their spine. Stephanie gently placed the laptop back onto the table and she became mesmerized with the Video.  ~~ “Tim? Why are you smiling like that?” A chuckling sound could be heard. Tim was the one holding the camera as Cassandra and Stephanie snuck up behind Bruce with an ice bucket.  “No reason mom. You’re looking great.” Just then Ice water was poured onto the sleeping billionaire who shot up from his slumber. Y/N wiped off some water that landed on her while laughing at her husband. Bruce’s eyes squinted making Y/N laugh harder. Tim’s hand slightly waved gaining Bruce’s attention. Tim pointed to Jason who was just about to throw Damian in the water. Bruce nodded and quickly stood up. “Wow. They got you good.” Y/N wiped her eyes. Then she squealed as Bruce picked her up bridal style and ran to the water. “Wait NO! I just bought this sundress. BRUCE!” Both Damian and Y/N hit the water at the same time. ~~ “Have you been watching these?” Stephanie couldn’t take her eyes off the footage. “Yea…”  Damian sucked his teeth “why?” Cassandra noticed Tim’s shoulders tense up. “You’ve found something.” “What?!”Stephanie turned to face her “what do you mean.”  Tim rewound the footage and paused just before Damian and Y/N got dunked. He zoomed into the one of the trees on the other side of the lake. Damian slightly pushed Cassandra to the side to get a better look at the screen. “We were stalked the whole trip…” Tim whispered in shame as he held his head low. The image of two beings with owl masked took over the screen. They all couldn’t believe their eyes. “so, you’ve been rewatching the footage all this time for this!” Damian snapped as he turned to Tim “and you didn’t bother Sharing this information!” Tim placed his hands on his head “it’s my fault. If only I payed more attention. They were always around us… it’s my fault. Before the car crashed I lost signal and- I should of-” Cassandra lightly pinched Damian. He looked her in eyes only to be met with a glare. Stephanie gently placed her hands on Tim’s “Timmy it’s not your fault. You didn’t kill them.” Tim’s lips wobbled as Stephanie slowly stood him up and lead him to the bed. Cassandra side eyed Damian with a clear message: if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all.  Cassandra sat on Tim’s other side. The two ladies provided him much comfort that he clearly needed. He cried for the first time in a long while. ** ~Later that night~ Alfred pressed buttons on the keyboard “Master Damian, Gorden would like to meet with you in 45 minutes.” He heard the bat mobile rev it’s engine “inform him I’ll be on the way. Please send him the evidence I’ve gathered.” “Yes sir.” Alfred kept a straight face as one of his many grandchildren left the cave. Once he was sure that he was by himself he reviewed the evidence Tim had found. He frowned upon seeing the screenshots of the various owled stalkers as tears slowly streamed down his eyes. When he heard the news of their death he couldn’t believe it. For the first time ever he lost his cool and in a blind rage sabotage the owls on all fronts. He remembered many police and GCPD raiding the houses of many elites. Even though he knew they could just pay off the crooked cops eventually, Alfred wanted to make them suffer for taking the lives of his family.  “Alfred. Come in.” Red Hoods voice came into the screen, bringing him back to reality. “Yes Redhood?” “Why is Damian on my turf?” “I’m sorry?” Redhood rolled his eyes “Batman is beating up Black Skulls goons. Why is he here?” Alfred's eyes widened. A serious case of Deja vu swarmed him. Especially coming from Jason of all people. He pulled up a map of the city, a red dot weaved its way through the traffic. “That’s not Batman.” Alfred said sending the information to Jason. Jason’s blood ran cold. He let out a small laugh as he looked up at the imposter Darknight.

 “Hey dickhead. I thought the blood son told you he’s got it.”

The Batman punched the last guard before slowly walking towards Redhood. Jason didn’t move, he was curious to see what would happen. The man stood in front of him, and that’s when Jason felt his blood run cold. 

Jason jumped back and pulled out his guns “who the hell are you?” The man’s head began to slightly twitch “D-Dick? Grayson” His body soon convulsed, his legs began to tremble “Richard, Jason, Tim, Damian, Cassandra, Stephanie… Y/N” He placed his hands on his head, as if he were going through a nasty headache  “I-Im sorry. Y/N, s-she’s out there” Jason holstered his weapons and ran to him. He looked around first to make sure the coast was clear before kneeling down “Bruce?” “F-Find her. She’s- Your mother is-” Suddenly Jason was flung back. Pain shot up his chest as he landed on the ground. He recovered quickly. Standing up only to be met with another punch. Before he knew it, the Dark Knight was gone. Jason felt the adrenaline pump through his veins. No way, no way Bruce returned. Someone used the pit. But that’s impossible. “Alfred. Get an excavator.” Jason shouted as he ran to his motorcycle  ~~~ Alfred frowned as Jason continued to dig. He know eventually the other children would return from patrol, and for once he truly wishes his little hunch was nothing more then a thought. Jason finally heard a clunk, he quickly swept the dirt along the casket of his supposed adoptive father. He opened it, seemingly on cue the moonlight shone upon an empty casket. “No. No no no!” Alfred fought tears himself, how could he let something like this happen again.  Jason’s rage was incomprehensible. Who dared do something like this. And for how long. The snap of a twig caused the butler to turn slightly. “You have some nerve Todd. I knew you’d do something like this.” Damian then looked to Alfred “and you’re helping him?”  “Master Damian. It’s not what it seems. I can assure you there is reason behind this.” Alfred stated as calmly as he could. Damian in a rage grabbed onto Alfred’s collar “have you been keeping information from me aswell?” “Damian!” Cassandra, And Stephanie pulled Damian from Alfred, whilst Dick stood infront of Alfred protectively.  “J-jason? W-what’s going on. Don’t tell me you.” Tim stuttered over his words as the first thing he noticed was the empty casket that once held the body of his father. “I didn’t do anything.” Jason barked “but it’s exactly what it is. Someone took ‘em. And I saw Bruce during patrol.” Jason attempted to jump out the hole but fell. He let out a huff before trying again only to grab onto something. He looked up to see Dick who gave him a soft smile before hoisting him up. “Thanks.” Jason whispered ”Of course” There was a moment of silence before Damian pushed Cassandra off him “Where are you going?” She asked. “I’m going to see my mother. She is the only woman that could be capable of something like this.” It was faint, but Cassandra heard his voice shake slightly. “I’ll go with” Stephanie walked towards Damian and pinched his cheek, causing the teen to grumble “You’ll need backup. And someone to keep your head steady.” Dick walked over to Tim, the teen looked up at his older brother with tear stained eyes. “Does that mean mom. Mom is back too?” Tim had mixed feelings. On the one hand this was wrong. This was so wrong in many ways, but on the other hand this is a second chance. A chance to safe Y/N and Bruce. Dick brought him into a hug before looking at his family “Alright listen up. Damian, Cassandra, Steph. You three investigate the Al Ghul’s while Tim, Jason and I will look into mom. Since the court of owls were behind this, we’ll see if there has been any activity.” Jason brushed his fingers through his hair as the sun began to rise “We sould inform the league, the more eyes the better.” He let out a long sigh “This family is too complicated.”

[sunwarmed-ash]

Some prompts for ya, I'm thinking ST ships.

Polaroid Camera | Snow | Cold Fingers & Warm Lips

Leather Belt | New Bed Sheets | Chocolate Chip Cookies

Back Seat | River | Camp Trail

These are amazing I'm adding all of these to my tumblr prompt lists for later! My brain is the big sads so this is all like pre smut but there's still some cute shit in there <3 thank you this is just what I needed

❄️Snow | Cold Fingers & Warm Lips💋

Mungrove 

AN: I love the idea of billy and eddie being neighbors okay 

It’s cold today. And yeah, its always cold in Hawkins in the winter time, but today is like, record breaking cold, like ‘you should be worried about the effects on the planet as a whole,’ cold. It fucking sucks, but by some miracle, the camper still has electricity and heat.

Eddie's warming his extremities in front of a space heater in the living room when there's a sharp series of knocks on his front door.

He opens the door to his new (within the year new) neighbor, California transplant Billy Hargrove, who looks positively frozen on the spot.

“Powers out,” is all he says by way of explanation before shouldering his way inside. 

“Oh shit,” Eddie says, looking across the street to the Mayfields/Hargrove's dark trailer. “What about your fami-”

“Motel. They’re fine.”

“Oh. Well, not that I don’t like your company, but uh, what the hell are you doing here?”

“Do you really think I want to be stuck in a fucking motel room with them?”

“Fair point,” Eddie snorts. Red was cool, but he didn't know much about her mom. And he knew too much about Neil. So instead of kicking the man out, he says “Make yourself at home.”

Billy goes immediately for the space heater and pulls his gloveless hands out of his jacket. He’s not wearing anything thicker than that faded brown leather jacket Eddie’s seen him rock at parties and jeans.

“Dude…”

“What?” Billy snaps, rotating his blue, most likely numb fingers in front of the space heater. 

“You still haven’t gotten a proper jacket?”

“Didn't think I’d still be here,” Billy replies bitterly. And again, Eddie can't blame him. He knows how much Billy misses California. And how in Billy's twisted mind he misinterprets buying a winter coat as permanent as setting up roots and buying a house in Hawkins. 

“Well, you are,” Eddie says, walking over to Billy’s side and flopping down on the ground to his right. “And in addition to that, you're here, so at least let me help.” He reaches out to take Billy’s hands into his own. Gentle, because they were going to hurt once they got circulation again, and started to rub across the palm with his fingers. His fingers are colder than ice, and knowing Billy, they have likely been like this for a while. The thing about Billy is, he only asks for help when he's desperate, and he never, ever uses those words. 

Eddie looks over the purple digits again with a frown and brings Billy's hand close to his mouth. 

Billy’s yank back was not only predictable but expected.

“What are you doing?” he asks, and while his voice is harsh, angry, his eyes are terrified, searching for any indication Eddie is setting him up for ridicule. 

Eddie isn’t. He wouldn’t do that. They’ve already been about as intimate as you can be with a person in the 7 weird months of their new friendship, but that doesnt mean Billy stops being Billy. 

“Do you want to lose your fingers?” Eddie asks.

“What?”

“Look at em. That’s not a good color.”

“That’s why I went to the space heater!” Billy defends. 

“Suit yourself,” Eddie shrugs, not giving up, but knowing Billy needs to be lured in a very specific way. “Might be kinda hard to jerk off without fingers. Hey! Maybe you could have them amputate the whole thing and get one of those cool hook hands! Wouldn't really solve the jerking off problem though…”

“Oh my GOD,” Billy huffs before shoving his hands back into Eddie’s face. Anything to get him to just stop talking.  

Eddie tries not to laugh too hard or boast his victory but he can’t help but feel good knowing the holes in Billy’s defenses.  

Eddie takes Billy’s right hand back into his hands and starts to rub across the slightly frostbitten skin. 

“Keep your other one near the heater,” he instructs, knowing there's no way he would convince Billy to touch any other part of Eddie’s skin at this stage. Billy does, and Eddie continues rubbing warmth and circulation back into the blonde’s hand. “Let me know when you start to feel it, it’s probably going to hurt.”

“Yeah, I know,” Billy huffs, looking pointedly everywhere but back at Eddie. 

“Want to smoke tonight?” Eddie offers, hoping to lighten some of the tension. 

“You got some bud?”

“Course I do,” Eddie laughs, rubbing across Billy’s palm. “Can you fold your fingers towards your palm yet?”

Billy turns his palm in Eddie’s hand and folds all of his fingers at the knuckle towards the palm. He winces a little but it's progress from where he started. His fingers are still a darker color than Eddie likes so he cups the folded hand in both of his and lowers his mouth closer. Billy doesnt pull away this time. Instead, he feels Billy’s breath inhale sharply at the same time Eddie exhales localized heat across his fingertips. If he was any closer, he’d be kissing them.  

“Eddie…” Billy gasps, quieter than a whisper. 

It's not necessarily intimate, but to Billy it must feel it, because his voice cracks the way it only does when he’s heavily, emotionally conflicted about something. 

Fortunately for Billy, Wayne comes storming out of his bedroom and into the common area just then. Billy pulls his hands back into his pockets and Eddie sits back on his hands like they hadn’t just been touching. 

It's ridiculous really, Wayne knows about Eddie. But still. Billy is always abundantly careful for the sake of his life.  

Wayne looks stressed, and Eddie is suddenly worried something awful has happened. 

“Everything okay Wayne?”

“Yeah, Claudia Henderson got stuck on her way coming home. She had to walk over a mile in this snow just to call me. I’m gonna go pull her car out, take her home.”

Wayne Munson. Patron Saint, he swears.

“Uh, alright, well, you should be careful too.” Eddie says, because he knows his van sure as hell won’t make it out of the park let alone all the way across town to bail him out if he gets stuck too. 

“I’ll be fine Eds,” Wayne says, a little impatient. Though Eddie can’t really blame him. He would hate to have to leave the warm area of his home to brace the snow too. “Be good you two, you hear,” he says, looking specifically at Eddie. 

Eddie threw his hands up in a scouts honor and it at least made Wayne laugh. “Yeah yeah.”

-

As soon as Wayne leaves, Billy exhales the tension he’s been holding. His hands seek out Eddie’s now; the back of Billy’s hand smacking Eddie impatiently until he continued the previous warming treatment. It was so goddamn funny and so Billy Hargrove Eddie bursts out laughing. 

“You're ridiculous,” Eddie says, taking Billy’s other hand and resuming his previous actions. 

“Whatever, you're into it.” Billy says, a little mean, but then he smirks and Eddie just about melts in place. 

“I uh, I didn't offer this before because of Wayne, but-”

Billy can already read the writing on the wall and smirks as Eddie starts to move closer. The musician climbs into the blonde’s lap, taking each of Billy’s still chilled hands and moving them under his Hellfire shirt towards his stomach. As soon as his icy digits touch soft skin Eddie gasps, loud as the chill freezes him to the bone. It doesn't take long to melts into something so much hotter though. Billy’s hands move across his skin grip just above the top hem of his jeans. He squeezes tight, holding Eddie right where he wants him. 

“Fuck me,” Eddie pants, because it really is cold, but he loves Billy’s hands on him. Any way he can get them. 

“Funny,” Billy purrs, pulling Eddie closer as he starts an array of sharp nips up Eddie’s neck, “I was just thinking the same thing.”

“Please, Billy,” Eddie pants and that’s all it takes. Billy stands and lifts them both off of the leather sofa, holding Eddie against his body as he walks back into his bedroom, sharp teeth finally making contact with the meat of his neck.