#hey look it’s the scene everyone and their cousin has drawn

[sticktopia]

AvA Gift exchange for @art-yeet

I apologize in advanced if it’s not up to your standards.

Victim’s hand suddenly started spinning in a circular motion. Chosen watched carefully as a lasso suddenly appeared in his hand. Panic filled his head as he now knew his mission. Flee. Fire sparked from Chosen’s hands, lifting him off the ground and away from the stranger that had trapped him. But Chosen was not fast enough, for the lasso had wrapped around his neck, choking him as it was drawn taut.

“Agh!” Chosen choked as he almost fell to the ground. The rope was suddenly pulled again, causing the black hollow head to hit the floor. Tears pricked his eyes as he struggled to breathe. But this was no time for hesitation. He needed to free himself or he could die. Chosen grabbed the rope, weakly trying to grab enough to loosen the loop from his neck. But instead, Victim pulled Chosen closer, flinging him to the floor on his back. Chosen feebly flipped onto his arms and knees, trying to get away from his abuser. A sudden sharp crack was heard behind him. Chosen turned to see that Victim was using the other end of the rope as a whip. With a scattered brain, Chosen struggled to get his body to listen to his brain. Chosen flaied as he tried to flee, hearing the whip once more.

“No! Please!!” Chosen suddenly cried out. He curled up, covering his head with his arms, and pulling his legs in. Chosen laid there shaking with terror. Suddenly, the rope went slack. Confusion washed over Chosen as the rope was removed from his neck and he was embraced in a hug.

“Wh-what…?” Suddenly, there was the sound of a bell ringing.

“CUT!!! Vincent, what are you doing?!” Cody looked up to see his older brother in tears.

“I'm sorry! But I just can't help it!” Vin sobbed. “He looked so scared and I didn't want to hurt my baby brother!”

“Lame!” Danica shouted at him. The director sighed and shook his head.

“Alright, 30 minute break!” He shouted. Vincent stood, helping his little brother up.

“Are you ok Cody? You're not too hurt are you? Oh, I'm so sorry.” Vincient said as he hugged the younger boy.

“I'm fine Vin. I was just acting.” Cody chuckled as he patted his older brother’s back.

“And you're absolutely sure about that? Look at your neck! It’s starting to bruise!” Vincent said as he tilted Cody’s head to the side.

“Come on, let's get you an ice pack.” Before Cody could protest, his older brother was already dragging him away. That was before their cousin, Danica, stopped them.

“You're such a worry wart Vinnie! Let the kid live a little!” She laughed, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and messing up his hair.

”Hey! Stop that! Don't mess up my hair!” Vincent shoutted, trying to escape the stronger girl. As Danica distracted Vincent, she gestured for Cody to go. Cody mouthed a “thank you” before running off to join his friends.

Cody ran over to the break area, immediately spotting his friends.

“Hey guys!” Cody shouted as he ran up to them.

“Cody!” They all cheered as they hopped out of their seats and ran to hug their friend.

“Are you ok?!”

“You're scene is so scary!”

“Did you finish filming?”

“I bet Vincent chickened out again.”

“You're such a great actor!”

“Here, have some water.”

“Thanks Soren.” Cody said as he took the water bottle from his younger cousin. Soren nodded as Yevette suddenly stepped up.

“So, did Vinnie chicken out again?” She asked with a smirk. Cody chuckled and fiddled with the bottle in his hands.

“Maybe…?” Cody said with a lopsided smile.

“Ha! I told you!!” Yevette said as she turned to the rest of the gang.

“What?! Again?!” Berry groaned.

“Now yall gotta pay up!” Peyton said as they fist bumped with Yevette. The others groaned as they got out their candy. They handed over their lifesaver gummies and snickers as Cody laughed.

“You guys really bet on Vincent stopping the scene?” Cody laughed.

“When do we NOT make bets on anything?” Reed scoffed. Everyone laughed at Reed’s comment. He was right after all. The group of friends were always betting on something. Cody chuckled and took a sip of the cold water. As he did, Gabriel noticed the bruising on Cody’s neck.

“Dude. You're literally starting to bruise around your neck!” Gabe shouted. The rest of the group turned to look.

“Ah, Vincent did say that huh?” Coddy muttered. Remembering what his brother was originally taking him to do, Cody put the cold bottle up to his neck. He flinched at first, but he held the bottle to the bruising.

“Vince’s gonna kill you if he doesn't get his act together.” Berry suddenly blurted. Yevette elbowed the boy hard in the side, causing him to wince.

“Ow! Sorry!” Berry huffed. Cody chuckled.

“Ah, it's fine. I'm sure the director will give the scene a break… Or completely recast Victim altogether.”

“I heard that!” Cody and his friends jumped and turned to see Vincent leaning against the wall. The older brother wore a sort of poker face. Scaring Cody and Soren.

“O-Oh hey Vin!” Cody stuttered. Vincent stalked up to the little group, causing them all to stumble back in fear.

“W-w-wait!!! W-we were joking! Right guys?! We were just joking!” Soren pleaded with his older cousin. Vincent glared down at him, an almost angry smile resting on his lips. Soren cowered away and behind Cody.

“I was going easy on you Cody. but it seems you really want the hard way.” Vincent said with a terrifyingly calm demeanor. He leaned into Cody, still with the irritated smile.

“C-can you please not hurt me?” Cody squeaked out. Suddenly, the bell telling the actors to come back to the stage rang. Cody knew he was screwed. Vincent chuckled and stood straight again.

“Prepare yourself little brother. This time, I won't ‘chicken out’.” Vincent said as he turned and walked away.

“And you can bet on it!” He called back as he disappeared behind the corner. Cody and the gang stood there frozen. Peyton suddenly rested a hand on Cody’s shoulder.

“Well, it was nice knowing ya Cody.” They said with a depressed look.

“Wha-Peyton!”

“RIP Cody.” Soren said, hand over his heart.

“Not you too!!” Cody screeshed.

“Actors for scene seven, please return to the set.” The co director’s voice came on the loudspeaker.

“I'm so dead.” Cody said as he tried to turn and run. But Gabriel and Reed grabbed him.

“Noooo!!! I'm too young to die!!!!” Cody cried as they pulled him back to the set. Soren, Peyton, Yevette, and Berry stood there watching as the two boys dragged away the oldest group member.

“How much you guys wanna bet Vincent will actually kill him?” Yevette snickered.

[martian-writes]

My Obession, My Muse (Part 2)

Cw: Izuku creates art of morbid things, very macabre, i might describe what he creates in detail if it makes you uncomfy please don't read.

Prequel to "Do You Think Im Spooky". We see everything that leads up to Izuku's blood painting of Katsuki.

Izuku is unsure what possessed his parents to return to Japan. But he supposes it isn't all that bad, he'd be closer to his cousin after all. Hitoshi's school has an excellent art program or so he is told.

Izuku wonders if he'd get in trouble here for his art style in the same way he did in America.

'Too Dark'

'It's a little morbid don't you think? Beautiful yes but not appropriate for school'

Hitoshi's school was typical just like the schools in America, everyone had their own clicks but unlike in America. Izuku was a lone wolf, an outcast, he was the student spectacle and it wasn't even for how he dressed.

His art was yet again the center of it. Though it was because they were curious about his art as curious as they are though. They do stay away.

That's fine, Izuku likes it that way.

Well... they do except one.

Bakugo Katsuki. UA high quarterback.

Izuku couldn't understand why the jock had taken a liking to him but Izuku assumes the jock had initially thought he /could/ bully Izuku. About a week into the school year, Katsuki had approached Izuku, slamming his hand hard on the lunch room table Izuku sat by himself at.

"Oi! Panic at the disco" Katsuki said

Izuku slowly looked up from his sketchbook, to find three sets of eyes looking at him. But the only ones he paid attention to was Katsuki's, because his eyes are the shade of red Izuku loves to paint in, crimson bright red like fresh blood.

"I don't like that guy" Izuku replied

"Hehe it's actually a band" Izuku's gaze flickers to a yellow blonde that has a black streak in his hair. He flinches slightly when Izuku's gaze finds him.

"Actually. It's /just/ the one dude." Izuku corrected before he looked back at Katsuki

The two only stared at each other, Katsuki seemling having forgotten why he walked over here to start with. Izuku was just memorized by the boy's looks. Izuku looked away first, feeling that itch of inspiration coming and if he stared any longer he'd surely want to paint the jock.

Izuku turned back to his sketchbook, dragging his fingers along the charcoal drawing he was doing. Smudging the fine lines he had created, giving the drawing shading without so much work.

'Red' he thought to himself  'it needs red'

Without looking up his fingers ran across the colorful charcoal chalk he had out, he grabbed the bright red he'd darken later. At that moment Katsuki seemed to snap out of it.

"The fuck are you drawing My Chemical Romance" Katsuki reached for Izuku's notebook.

Instantly the sketch book got snapped shut. Izuku's large hand wraps around Katsuki wrist and tugs him close

"If you are going to refer to me as bands at least use my favorites" Izuku says "Please do not touch my sketchbook as im working"

Katsuki was at a loss for words staring into the deep green.

"Hey man let em go" A red head said, Izuku's eyes snapped to him and the red head held his hands up "You're causing a scene"

Izuku's eyes scanned around and there were too many eyes on them. He let Katsuki go and the ash blonde snarled like an animal at him and walked away rubbing at his wrist. Izuku hoped it would have been the last time and wished the way Katsuki looked when he snarled at Izuku didn't engrave itself into his brain and screamed to be drawn.

It wasn't the last time. 

A month later, during after school hours, Izuku had been given permission to stay in the art room to finish his first semester project that he has scrapped mid class period because some girl who- (Izuku later found out had a crush on him) looked at his work before he was done.

There was a reason Izuku sat back of the class, easel facing away from everyone else. Izuku didn't like people seeing his art before it was done, in his head that tainted his work because no one would get the full picture, no one would see his work as they should, as he intended if they saw it beforehand.

The girl should have known there was a reason why he always put headphones in and the teacher allowed him to do what he pleased. Why no one bothered him as he worked. 

Yes his art was morbid, dark and macabre. But Izuku is a talent that no one wants to disturb because Izuku is going to be the next big thing.

Everyone knew it.

The girl had peered over Izuku's shoulder and when he turned to look at her, she was smiling and speaking. He pulled his headphones from his ear and stared at her as she spoke

"I know its um" she stammered "incomplete but its looks really a-amazing"

Izuku's eyes flickered back to his canvas, it was just a black painted background, a half painted woman in the middle, her body bended backwards, contorted. Her jaw open wide and broken, her eyes sunken pitch black and her hair long yet thin brushing against the tile floor that had a puddle sketched that would have eventually become a blood puddle.

He looked back at her oddly, just stared as her face became a-flamed. As she fidgeted. in her spot messing with the hem of her shirt.

It wasn't that Izuku didn't know how to say thank you, he wasn't trying to be rude. He was just baffled? And he felt like he space had been invaded because /everyone/ knew to leave him alone as he worked either because they chose too or were directed too. The class was directed too.

"I'll. Im gonna-" and she scampered away without finishing her thought.

Izuku watched her leave before sitting in his chair, staring at his work.

It was tainted now, he /had/ to start over. So he did, a project that had taken him a while to create, /gone/.

So there he worked, back in the classroom. The only light on was the middle light, the rest off. His favorite bands played so loudly in his ears that he hadn't noticed the blonde jock enter the classroom.

Katsuki watched Izuku work for 20 minutes, watching the way viridian eyes scanned over the canvas with burning concentration. Katsuki listened to the way the brush hit the canvas with swift motions.

To Katsuki it was like watching a ballad. He was amazed and memorized by how Izuku's wrist moved with such smooth motion, every strike of the brush against the canvas was thought out and precise.

Katsuki walked over slowly, stopping just before the easel. He had heard from Hitoshi how Izuku doesn't like people seeing his uncompleted work and after what he heard about some random extra.

Katsuki didn't want Izuku to get rid of whatever he was currently working on.

Admittedly Katsuki is strangely fascinated by Izuku and his art. Most people want to draw and paint flowers, people, pretty things. But Izuku paints and draws the dark, things people don't want to look at or see and Katsuki thinks it's cool.

That's why he was here.

Not because he found Izuku attractive. Not because the green haired male was the type of guy Katsuki would no hesitation fall to his knees for.

No, no. Not at all.

Izuku looks up from his canvas, noting the red eyes staring back at him. Katsuki's mouth moves but Izuku can't hear. So he removes his headphones

"What?" Izuku said

Katsuki rolled his eyes "what are your favorite bands?"

Izuku's eyebrows furrowed "huh?"

"What are you? Deaf? Your favorite bands. You told me if i was gonna call you by band names to use your favorites"

Izuku blinked and set his paintbrush down, wiping his hands down on a rag. He raised an eyebrow "Or you could me by name?" Izuku stuck his hand out "Im Midoriya Izuku, but Izuku works just fine"

Katsuki shoved his hands into his sweats and shook his head "I ain't ask ya name De-ku. I asked what are your favorite bands"

"Deku? Like useless?" Izuku tilted his head "that's not very nice"

"You sure as shit aint being useful! I asked you a question"

"I gave you an answer"

"Not one that answers /my/ question though"

Izuku stared at the blonde, wondering why he truly was here. Surely the band question was an excuse to get his name. Katsuki muttered something before turning away and Izuku watched him leave, the itch to draw Katsuki coming back and Izuku stomped it down.

Katsuki got his name, and had even given him a mean nickname. Now Izuku was sure the jock would leave him alone.

Katsuki did not leave Izuku alone. In fact after this moment it seems as though the football player is everywhere, Izuku could not escape him. It only got worse when Katsuki was hell bent on spending so much time around him, sometimes Katsuki would speak and others Katsuki would just watch Izuku work without ever toeing the line of looking at his work.

Izuku appreciated it but he couldn't understand /why/ the jock was constantly around. Didn't he have better things to do? Katsuki being around so often was not helping this urge Izuku was having to draw him.

Izuku refuses to make Katsuki a subject for his work lest someone says that his artwork is him plotting to murder Katsuki.

Izuku wiped his hand across his forehead not realizing he had left a streak of red paint across his forehead. He stares at Katsuki who is doing homework, Izuku pauses his music and walks toward the jock.

"Don't you have practice?" Izuku questioned as he reached the desk Katsuki was working at.

"Only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays" Katsuki replied easily without looking at Izuku

"Okay let me rephrase. Why are you here?"

Katsuki looks up and the inspiration to draw him crawls out of the pit Izuku had clearly ineffectively tried to bury it in.

"I'm doing my homework" Katsuki said in a duh tone

"That much is obvious. Why? In. Here. With. Me?"

Katsuki leans back, placing his hands behind his head, his biceps flexing with the movement. Izuku does his best not to get distracted by such defined muscles. "Why not in here with you? You aren't shitty company and you /usually/ don't bother me"

Izuku hummed, not quite sure what to say to that or how to react. So he shrugged and went back to his canvas, Katsuki went back to his homework.

Izuku stares at his canvas, he truly should thank that girl for peeking at his work. Because what he has now it's far more beautiful than the original.

The subject is a grim reaper of sorts, in broken knights armor, eight arms. Four of those arms hold a large scythe that looked like a giant sickle. The tip of it is dark with red, the sky dark and gray almost as if it'll storm any moment. The wheat field isn't a wheat field at all, but a field of bodies, some lay scattered on the floor and the rest well Izuku has to finish drawing them in. 

Izuku picked up his fine detail brush to do just that, when his eyes flicked to the jock. Katsuki has his bottom sucked into his mouth, eyebrows knitted in concentration.

'Draw him'

The voice in Izuku's head startles him. He stands up straight, eyes wide as he stares at Katsuki.

'He is so beautiful'

It was just a /known/ fact.

Katsuki was born to a model mother and he happened to take after her of course he was beautiful. That porcelain smooth skin that has been kissed by the sun from days spent practicing in its rays. The way his hair forms a spikey halo around his head making him look like an angel, perfect bone structure. Had Katsuki been born during Greece's classical period surely he would have been everyone's favorite subject.

He would be beautiful painted in blood, painted in the dark with only his eyes to be seen. Katsuki would be beautiful sitting atop a throne of bones with bodies of the dead lying beneath him.

Izuku swallowed thickly and looked away the moment Katsuki's eyes flicked up to look at him.

He needed to leave.

Gathering his brushes Izuku rushed to toss them into the sink to wash, Izuku grabs the white sheet he was given to cover his work and tosses it nicely over the eisel. After he walks to the sink and begins cleaning his brushes in a haphazard manner, he'll clean them more thoroughly at home.

"Oi" Katsuki said startling the greenette who froze to see that blonde had moved across the classroom toward him "fuck are you rushing for?"

"Huh?"

"You usually take your time cleaning your shit." Katsuku shrugged

Izuku did not notice the pink on katsuki's ears. And he rubbed his hands down his jeans before replying

"Nothing. I- just realized im late for meeting up with some friends"

A lie. Most of his friends were in America and the set he had made here weren't even his friends to fully begin with. They were his older brother's friends and they were studying for their midterms.

Izuku barely hung out with Hitoshi because the insomniac had begun dating one of the jocks and he was trying to stay /away/ to keep away from Katsuki. Though that plan wasn't working out so well considering the jock had decided to use whatever free time he had to be around Izuku.

"Oh" was all Katsuki said before going to gather his things to leave.

The pair walk out the school building and Katsuki adjusted his book bag on his back before shoving his hands into his pockets.

"I have a game coming up soon." He said "You should come, eyebags is going"

Izuku side eyes Katsuki "I'll think about it. Those... school events... aren't my scene"

Katsuki nodded. They said their goodbyes and went their separate ways.

"He likes you," Touya said one day when his brother Tomura decided he was going to take Izuku back to campus for the weekend.

"What? No one likes me" Izuku replied as he let Touya do his special effects makeup on him.

"That Jock clearly does" Himiko said looking up from her sketchbook.

The group were currently sitting in the basement of the college campus house Touya rented for the year. The basement had become his studio and he was testing a new technique that gave a 'burn victim' effect without having to use so much makeup.

Before Izuku could protest, Tomura looked up from his switch.

"He spends a lot of time around you. Respects your art boundaries. And invited you to his game" Tomura said

Spinner- who Izuku has no idea why they call him that he just goes with it. Looked up from his gothic literature paper.

"That is like THE definition of him liking you" He said "He invited you to his game"

"Plus didn't you say you want to draw him?" Jin asked

Izuku sighed "Yes but... i /can't/ draw him in my art style... it'll freak him out"

"Why are you worried about that if you don't like him?" Touya asked with an eyebrow raised "unless you do and that's why?"

Izuku squawked "I d-don't like him!"

A chorus of "RIIIIGHT" rang out.

Katsuki couldn't possibly like /him/.

Last minute and last second Izuku had decided he would go to the game. His parents were happy to see he was expanding his horizons in activities.

Izuku had become captured by the game, screaming with the crowd, Izuku had gotten into the school spirit, their school was winning. Izuku was happy with his choice, he was glad he came out. He was but that was until their school had won, Katsuki had rushed a touch down and scored, the stands had erupted its shouts and cheers. 

The team lifted their quarterback on to their shoulders, Katsuki had ripped his helmet off and was chanting with his team. The pride that oozed off him, dripped into the crowd and into Izuku.

Katsuki's head swivled as he looked out into the crowd, a proud grin adorning his features, arms raised above his head chanting "Hell yeah!"

Red met green through the sea of people. As loud as it was in that moment, the world had quieted, and it was just them. Katsuki flashed Izuku a smile, full of teeth and there in that moment, Izuku knew he was /fucked/.

That night Izuku woke from a dream, frenzied with the need to draw. So he grabbed a clean sketch book, and Izuku drew until the birds chirped and the sun shined through his window.

But Izuku couldn't stop the voice, the inspiration he so desperately tried to stomp out came back and sunk its claws into him.

Izuku missed school.

"He's looking for you," Hitoshi said when he found Izuku sitting under the bleachers of an empty school gym one day.

Izuku brushed his fingers along the charcoal, smudging it before grabbing the red marker that tucked behind his ear and uncapped it.

"Yeah? When isn't he looking for me?" Ixuju replied

Hitoshi crouched down in front of Izuku "why you avoiding him?"

"I'm not"

"You are"

Izuku ignored him.

"Bakugo is a little rough around the edges but he is a good guy" Hitoshi said "He likes ya"

Izuku still didn't reply, finishing his drawing. Izuku flung the book to him.

"I /like/ him too" was all he said.

Hitoshi flipped through pages and pages of just Katsuki. Katsuki was drawn in macabre ways that left him breathless.

"He consumes my mind. He is all I ever want to draw, paint" Izuku said." That's why I'm avoiding him. He has become an obsession"

"He is your muse," Hitoshi said quietly, staring at Izuku's latest drawing.

Katsuki dressed in battered and bloodied football uniform, a helmet broken in a way that resembled a crown sat upon his hair.  He sat on a throne of bones of a deserted football field, the grass was dead. The sky was dark red, apocalypse like. Laid out like a present for Katsuki, other football players all knelt down in worship of him.

"He is."

"Stop hiding from him."

So Izuku did.

That's how Izuku ended up in the art room painting a canvas in that deep dark red he loves so much. Using his fingers and backs of his brushes to mark out Katsuki's face do all the details of his beautiful face.

His scowl, his lashes, his cheek bones. Those lips Izuku were growing more desperate to know what they tasted like.

Izuku sighs when he finishes the painting, wiping his hands on a rag. Izuku throws himself into his chair and throws his head back.

"What if he doesn't like this?" He says to himself "what if it scares him off"

Izuku tosses his head back and closes his eyes. He hopes today Katsuki doesn't look for him, Izuku isn't ready to show him the stuff he has created.

A squeak of sneakers catches his attention moments later, his head flies forward and he curses to himself.

There stood in the doorway of the darkened classroom stood Izuku's obsession.

Katsuki.

"H-hi" he stammers

Izuku's heart flutters in his chest. He makes Katsuki nervous.

"What are you doin here?"

"W-well. I- um"

Katsuki is cute when he's nervous.

Izuku raises his pierced brow "You were looking for me... weren't you?"

Katsuki doesn't reply, eye darting everywhere but never looking at Izuku.

"You know" Izuku says "Most people stay away from me"

Katsuki takes a few steps closer "its because you make them uncomfortable"

Izuku looks back at his canvas "Now why would /I/ make them so uncomfortable?"

Katsuki shrugs & walks closer "You have a reputation"

Izuku scoffs "I have a reputation?"

Katsuki hums and Izuku watches from the corner of his eye as the jock walks closer and stops a respectful distance away from the easel.

How he is so fucking hot and respectful?

"They feel that your methods, your art is-"

Izuku cuts him off as he stands up with a smile. Izuku never really noticed how short Katsuki was compared to him, how small he seemed next to him. It makes his smile widen "Spooky?"

Izuku tilts his head as he waits for Katsuki to reply. His eyes roam over the very face that haunts his dreams, fills his head and his sketchbooks. Without a second thought Izuku grasps Katsuki's small wrist in his hand, covering his eyes bringing Katsuki closer to him and the easel.

Izuku stares at the canvas for a moment before leaning close to Katsuki's ear "Do you think I'm spooky?"

Izuku removes his hand and waits with bated breath as Katsuki takes in the art before. After a moment Izuku hears a quiet

"Beautiful"

He is floored.

"Yeah? Doesn't? Creep you out that it looks like I drew you in blood?"

Katsuki stares at the painting but shakes his head no.

Izuku's eyebrows practically touch his hairline in surprise. He leans back against a table as he hums.

"You are weird pretty boy"

Katsuki turns to him blush, coating his cheeks "Am i?"

Izuku nods and Katsuki steps closer to him. Their shoes toe to toe, the jock looks up and says

"I don't find you spooky"

The honesty in his eyes sends Izuku's heart into a race. His stomach filled with butterflies and his breath hitches.

"Am I still weird?" Katsuki questions

Izuku's eyes drop to Katsuku lips, they are so close that if Katsuki just tilts his head up just a little more they could kiss.

"Very."

Katsuki surges forward pressing their lips together for a second. He pulls away & Izuku digs his ringed fingers into Katsuki's spikey locks. Pulling him closer to kiss him longer, deeper. When they pull away chests heaving, forehead pressed together Izuku says

"Bad omens"

"Hah?" Katsuku asks looking up at hin in question

"Bad omens is one of my favorite bands"

Katsuki pulls away with a smile on his face "Now you answer my question? You are so chicken shit"

Izuku laughs and nods "I guess so"

"Can I see more?"

"Huh?"

"Your art. Can you show me more?"

Izuku nods "i think i have some sketch books you'd like"

Katsuki smiles up at him before pulling him for another kiss "Cool".

[kaitobromota]

ive dug two graves for us, my dear

[anistarrose]

Any thoughts about the lore we got on Philip's brother in the paintings :o ? Or Belos in general

Honestly, the episode left me in almost a state of stunned silence — like, very much the evil cousin of "no thoughts head empty," but now that my impressions have simmered for a while I do have thoughts! Lots of them are on a meta level, though.

I was hype for the Wittebro (Caleb?) lore and I’m certainly satisfied with what we got, though I am curious about how they’ll handle him going forwards — if we’ll ever get an animated scene with him, y’know, or if he’ll just kinda haunt the narrative? I expect Belos to bring him up again, possibly in reference to Flapjack, but there’s a compelling story in those photographs alone, and I don’t think they’d need much expanding on if the TOH crew wants to keep telling Wittebro’s story through the memories of his brother and the lives of his descendants (both Hunter, and possibly the Clawthornes). 

And I get the appeal, it’s a narrative device that really drives home how Wittebro is gone, that echoes of him may still reverberate but they’re distorted, either by Philip’s already biased memories being blurred even further by time — or by evolving into new, albeit possibly similar people, in the case of the Golden Guards.

(I saw Rebecca Rose tweet that a lot of the portraits were being revised late into post-production, so I do wonder if they seized the chance to sneak in details they would’ve revealed otherwise, if S3 hadn’t been cut. Making it a tragic detail both in-universe and out of it then, I guess.)

On a totally different topic — I thought it was neat that we saw the scene from Jacob Hopkins’ book with the “lured” brothers!

I felt just a tiny bit vindicated seeing this — with Wittebro looking so excited, and Philip looking so apprehensive — as well as the implication of Wittebro falling in love with a witch, because I’d always been super suspicious of Philip’s very on-brand Puritan “burn the witch” posture in the original image! Looks like some artistic liberties were taken in universe, compared to the actual scene, but damn, someone really nailed the symbolism of Wittebro accepting witches and Philip wanting them to burn. 

(Certainly no shade to Old Fanon Philip or anyone who liked him, because I enjoyed him too, but I was always pretty sure he would never be Canon Philip, you know?)

I do wonder if Wittebro was always a Dirty Witch Sympathizer, at least as Philip would’ve thought of him, or if he started out as a witch hunter too and was just quick to realize, hey, wait a second, these are just people. There’s a potential parallel with Hunter, and, uh, apparently at least 16 other Golden Guards in that case, so I’m drawn to that possibility from a narrative sense. It really doubles down on how horrible Philip is, too — he was probably shaped by his upbringing, but his brother broke out of it, just like Hunter and Lilith and Amity and arguably Darius and more did, and that makes Belos all the more chilling as a foil.

(One more topic change, can I add how funny I find it that Belos just changed his name because everyone hated Philip? All that speculation about him having one of Those villain moments like “Philip is gone, I’m Belos now” and it turns out nah, he actually still prefers Philip, and Philip has always sucked.)

Anyways. Very Good Episode. I’ve watched it four times in the past seven hours.

[camgirlkaminari]

so ive been thinking for a while now how bonkers it is that ochako has a floatation quirk and an almost identical hairstyle to inko midoriya, and now that we're closing in on deku mastering all 7 ofa quirks, I can't stop thinking that nana, a woman who has been textually compared to inko midoriya, ALSO had a floatation quirk. i wanna ramble about it a little bit:

inko's first introduction to the comic is her telling us that she can float small objects toward herself:

she's an older generation, so her quirk isn't all that powerful compared to the kids' quirks. this is apparent when ochako comes into play and can float much larger objects, but with less control over their trajectory. i think we're not ever meant to compare the two characters' quirks, since ochako is more powerful, and can also float herself. even further, inko doesn't seem to suffer any consequences for using her floatation quirk, but since we are only shown her using it once, there's no way to know.

(i find inko to be such a strange character. she spends so much time crying and being deku's mom that we forget that she is her own person. she's married. she has a quirk. what's her job? how does she pay the bills? how did she meet her fire breathing husband? does she have parents of her own? we know so much more about everyone else's parents than we even know about the main character's mom! this feels so deliberate, even beyond the fact that we are all wondering if deku's dad is somehow ~a villain~. like I don't care about deku's dad! what's up with his fucking mom!!)

so now we're so focused on ochako's journey to mastering her quirk and learning how to float herself in addition to huge objects that we almost forget how similar to inko she started out: her hair, her face, her kindness, her strength.

spoilers ahead: 

now, like 150 chapters later, we learn about nana shimura's quirk: float. deku knows what's coming, so he asks his friend ochako, who can float, for pointers on floating. this is excellent strategy, deku! good call! you don't know anyone else who can float themselves so you learn from ochako!

meanwhile, absolutely NO MENTION of how 'hey, my mom can float stuff too! weird coincidence!' despite him remembering all might's comparison of nana to his mother.

all of this leads me to have a few theories about the nature of afo & ofa, the relationship between ochako, nana, inko, and deku, and the major themes of legacy in bnha.

theory one: Gramps For All

there's a massive theme in bnha of grandchildren of importance. first, we learn that tomura shiguraki is the grandson of nana shimura, a pro hero, one of the three factions warring for a place in post-quirk society. then we learn Eri is an instance of this: she's the granddaughter of an equally influential player. The comatose boss of the yakuza, one of the three factions warring for a place in post-quirk society.

there's all kinds of legacies in bnha: shouto, the son of the number 1 hero, a direct victim of hero society. iida, the younger brother of a hero who was victimized by a villain hell-bent on changing hero society. hawks, the son of a serial killer, a victim who perpetuates the cycle of victimization in the name of upholding hero society. all these legacies, but we don't know anything about their extended families. what are endeavor's parents like? were iida's grandparents pro heroes too? does hawks really have no other family?

and where are deku's grandparents? did they ever watch him while his single mom was working?

my theory is that afo is not dad for one, but actually gramps for one. he had children, more than one, and they each had their own children. inko is one of them, and izuku is the resulting child.

deku, grandson of all for one, one of the three factions warring for a place in post-quirk society. eri, shiguraki, and deku, each representing the groups most affected by post-quirk society: yakuza, "villains," and "heroes."

theory two: ochako & deku are cousins

why the hell does ochako look so much like inko midoriya and NOT her parents?

(in the anime, they look a lot like her, but in the manga...)

gramps for one had children, more than one, and they each had their own children.

i think that ochako may be adopted, or one of her parents is, or perhaps even inko was, so ochako's connection to biological relations is distant or non existent. she may not even know. we've seen that horikoshi doesn't make character design mistakes, and he's gotta realize that every time he draws deku & ochako in the same scene that he's drawn the same face twice.

so either he's trying to throw us off, or he's making a grander statement about who they are. he's a fan of star wars- he's already done a reverse of "I am your father" with touya & endeavor, so I think it would be interesting if he's set up this ochako/deku thing as a fun homage to luke/leia, too. but they're cousins, not twins.

(that's just deku times two, babey!)

inko, unconnected to her family as she seems, may never know if she had siblings or half-siblings. ochako's parents may never have known about ochako's biological relations.

this is a much weaker theory, but i think quirk singularity theory can make some sense of it. we have the original float quirk user, nana shimura. I don't think she is related in any way to inko or ochako, but her quirk helps demonstrate the generational growth of power. she was a hero before all might, meaning she's an earlier generation and had an arguably weaker quirk. but since she was a hero, she honed her quirk so that it comes across as incredibly strong, however she seems to have only been able to float herself, not objects or people.

float quirk user number two, inko midoriya, who can float small objects toward herself. she's the next generation after nana, so her quirk is still kind of weak, and in fact looks incredibly weak compared to nana's and ochako's quirks. inko is a nobody, not a hero, just deku's mom. she had no reason to hone her quirk. who knows? maybe if she'd gone on to be a hero, she could float entire buildings if she wanted to.

float quirk user three, ochako uraraka. ochako can float objects AND herself. she's a hero and a strategist, and incredibly strong despite being 16. she can float pieces of buildings and people and herself all at once. she's a hero. she's powerful. she's thoughtful & kind, yet willful and strong. she's the ultimate culmination of the other floatation quirks as well as inko & nana's personalities. but since we were introduced to these three float quirks all out of order, it's difficult to see the exponential power growth that happens each successive generation.

I don't think that ochako's ever going to be a major player in the end of all for one, or even the plot overall, but i think the THEME of ochako being the ultimate floatation hero in the series is a major player in the final story. ochako REPRESENTS the singularity. the generation after ochako will be so strong, perhaps her descendants would be able to negate all gravity in the vicinity, maybe on the planet. who knows! even if ochako isn't related to deku, let's say dechako happens, they have babies. that's a lot of float quirk in one couple! their kids are gonna have no bones! no muscle development because they never have to fight gravity! ochako's existence represents such a huge, yet nearly invisible thematic element of bnha.

tldr: ochako looks exactly like inko and has a cumulative float quirk reminiscent of both inko & nana, and i suspect the parallels between the three is deliberate for some reason. i just think that's neat.

[franniebanana]

CQL Rewatch - Episode 5

Nothing. Just heart eyes. Mischievous heart eyes for Lan Wangji. Wei Wuxian, this annoying little shit—he wants to tease Lan Wangji because he’s such a fuddy-duddy, but he’s also genuinely into him. And I don’t necessarily mean that in a romantic way, because I don’t think Wei Wuxian has any of those feelings for Lan Wangji at this point—but he is definitely fascinated by him. He’s so different from Wei Wuxian, almost his complete opposite on the surface, that I think Wei Wuxian can’t help but want to know more about him.

I like this part for a number of reasons (most of them are obvious, so I won’t really go into it—it’s a wangxian scene, amirite?), but this little exchange of dialogue tugs at my heartstrings a little because it’s the first time that Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji actually talk to one another—like a real exchange, not just Wei Wuxian talking and Lan Wangji ignoring him, although, plenty of that happens as well. Lan Wangji lets his guard down a little here to say Wei Wuxian didn’t apologize sincerely. Like, I’m giving you a chance here—if you’re really sorry and want to repent for what you did, then I might give you another chance. I don’t think Lan Wangji wants to hold a grudge anymore, and I think that becomes pretty evident later, even after the whole porno incident.

And then Lan Wangji decides he’s tired of talking to Wei Wuxian, and uses the silence spell on him again. Hahaha, always makes me laugh. And Xiao Zhan is super adorable when he’s having his tantrum.

These two just make me so sad. My heart really aches for them, especially for Wen Qing, who really is doing everything to help her brother right now. One thing I love about this series/book is that it shows so many types of devotion: romantic love, platonic love, love for sisters and brothers, grandchildren, cousins, mothers, fathers—while the subject matter is often heavy and downright depressing, there are really some beautiful love stories to be told, and it sounds cheesy, but it makes my heart really full.

I like the nuance here of Wen Ning serving her, almost as if he’s a servant—he bows his head, pours her tea, puts it into her hands—and then she touches his face, as if reminding him that she’s just his big sister. I don’t know, I’m probably reading too much into that, and there’s obviously a dynamic that I don’t know or understand, not being a part of that culture. I just noticed it and thought there might be something there.

I see you looking at Wei Ying. But seriously! Lan Wangji could just ignore the guy and wait until he’s done. Instead, he’s peeking at him, fully aware that Wei Wuxian is still working on transcribing texts. Wei Wuxian’s fascination with Lan Wangji is only rivaled by Lan Wangji’s fascination with Wei Wuxian. The scene at the lecture that causes Wei Wuxian to be kicked out feels like a major turning point in the relationship. Yes, I think Lan Wangji was keeping an eye on Wei Wuxian prior to that point, but it was more of, “I’m keeping an eye on you because I feel like you’re just trying to make trouble.” Now, I think he fully realizes that Wei Wuxian is no dummy—he’s a clever young man—and it can’t be lost on Lan Wangji that Wei Wuxian is always seeking his attention. That’s got to be a little flattering, even for a fuddy-duddy.

I think there are a few things going on here after Wei Wuxian gives him the drawing: 1. Lan Wangji is embarrassed! Why is Wei Wuxian drawing a picture of him and adding a flower in his hair?! No one has ever done something like that for him and, of all people, why Wei Wuxian? 2. I think he feels slightly touched to be given a gift, especially from Wei Wuxian, who is such a prankster. 3. He doesn’t hate it! He places it carefully on the desk in front of him, as if it’s something nice that he doesn’t want to wreck. We know Lan Wangji has no issues destroying things he doesn’t like, as he demonstrates when he rips up the porno mag. He easily could have crumpled up the drawing and tossed it away, but instead he keeps it, which suggests that he DOES like it and IS touched by the gift.

Hey, remember that time that Lan Wangji got so angry with Wei Ying that he actually broke a rule? I do! It’s one of my favorite lines: “Piss off.” (note: that text is not actually him saying piss off, the screenshot is from earlier)

Wei Wuxian is such a little shit! And as he later says to Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang, he pulls this little prank to get Lan Wangji back for making him transcribe all the texts and using the silencing spell on him. Even though he’s supposedly apologized and repented for breaking the rules, Wei Wuxian still feels like he needs to retaliate against Lan Wangji. Like, I love the guy, but he’s such a shit! Wangxian would have been wangxian so much sooner had he not been like this for so long! Yes, Lan Wangji is a stick in the mud, but Wei Wuxian causes trouble on purpose. I love all these scenes, but it does get a little frustrating that Wei Wuxian just doesn’t get it, y’know?

I like here how Wei Wuxian seemingly doesn’t understand why Lan Wangji is mad, and then looks all offended. And I included angry Lan Wangji just because.

Jiang Cheng is me: You literally offended everyone in that room, and then you played a trick on Lan Wangji, which made him so angry that he told you to piss off. I’D tell you to piss off too! I seriously can’t blame Jiang Cheng for all his eye rolls and exasperated looks at this point in the story. Wei Wuxian lives to make trouble, it seems, and Jiang Cheng just wants to learn and make a good impression for the Jiang Clan. If you can’t tell, I really like Jiang Cheng.

Lan Xichen asks if his brother has found out who got into the Back Hill, and Lan Wangji pauses, lets out a sigh, and says, “Wei Ying.” I don’t fully know what all that means, but my interpretation is that he’s disappointed. As if he expected more of him, was trying to find a way it wasn’t him, but then finally admits that it was indeed Wei Wuxian. Of course, Wei Wuxian actually tried to tell Lan Wangji who it really was sneaking around the Back Hill, but Lan Wangji didn’t want to listen. At least, in this case, they know Wei Wuxian is relatively harmless, and maybe Lan Wangji’s admission is more that he feels a bit like he failed to find out who the true threat is.

I should count how many times they say “Lady Wen” in this scene. It’s already up to three and it’s only five seconds in. But seriously, Jiang Cheng, could you stop drooling?

The final count was five times. Slightly less than I thought, but the first four times did actually occur before the two boys even stepped inside.

This scene also has a cute moment with Jiang Yanli and Wei Wuxian (“You were sick because you were missing me!”)—cute to the point where Jiang Cheng must have rolled his eyes. Although, I think it’s this moment that Wen Qing witnesses that makes her think twice about Wei Wuxian. In her mind, she compares him to her own little brother, so her heart softens a little.

Lan Xichen: I looked at you, and you seemed to want them to go. Don’t you want that?

Lan Wangji: HEART EYES

Okay, but he looks very soft here, doesn’t he? By all accounts, I don’t know why Lan Wangji would want to go ANYWHERE with Wei Wuxian right now, but he feels drawn to him, despite being bothered by him, despite being pranked by him. He really doesn’t know what’s in his own heart. Thank goodness Lan Xichen is there.

With how long Wei Wuxian was waving around that liquor, I’m surprised Lan Wangji didn’t dump it out sooner. His tolerance for Wei Wuxian is getting better! He’s not using the silence spell on him anymore, he answers some of his questions (or uses silence to answer in some cases). Progress! Progress is happening here!

I also like that even when Wei Wuxian is with Jiang Cheng, Wen Qing, and Wen Ning, he still seeks out Lan Wangji for conversation and company.

Lan Wangji is angry at Wei Wuxian, because he’s angry at himself, and he’s angry at himself because he’s frustrated by his own feelings: he wants to hate Wei Wuxian—he’d feel better if he hated him, but the fact is, he keeps finding more reasons to like him. And his response to those frustrations is to try and push Wei Wuxian away.

“Stay away from me.”

If you’re just casually watching this series, you see Lan Wangji just being angry and annoyed by Wei Wuxian for quite some time, until probably they go to the Wen Indoctrination camp. But the changes in his attitudes toward Wei Wuxian in particular are more subtle than that. I think Lan Wangji is trying to warm up in his own way, but he just becomes frustrated by his own feelings. Maybe he likes Wei Wuxian, but doesn’t understand why, or maybe it’s just that he doesn’t want to hate him. At this point, Lan Xichen has already told him a few times that he needs to make friends, and how about Wei Wuxian? He’s also noted that he could tell that Lan Wangji wanted “the boys” to go along with them. It would be frustrating to have someone, even someone you greatly respect, to tell you how you’re really feeling, especially when you’re as stubborn as Lan Wangji.

And Lan Xichen actually smirks after this, hahahaha!

She’s touching my leg, she’s touching my leg!!! You can’t tell me he didn’t think about this in bed every night for at least a week. I’m sure it’s extremely obvious already to Wen Qing that he’s crushing hard on her, and that must make her a little uncomfortable. I don’t think the feelings are reciprocated in the slightest.

Okay, but imagine if they’d let Su She go on his own like he wanted. He’d probably have died, or certainly run away. His spiritual power seems very weak, as he can’t call his sword back once he sends it into the water. Luckily Lan Wangji is there to save him.

Other episodes: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 |

[hopelikethemoon]

a dance owed (Javier x Reader)

Title: a dance owed Rating: PG-13  Length: 2,000 Notes: After that rude little anon this morning, I decided to write some cute fluff for these two. Set about 2 months after “maybe forever” this is another little installment in the “maybe today, maybe forever” universe. (I’m gonna make a whole post for it later today probably). Yeah, I realize this scene technically took place way before when the first installment of this series but work with me people.  Warnings: None. Pure, tooth-rotting, fluff.  Dedicated To: @grapemama​ who has some of the best daddy!javi headcanons. 

Josie was entirely captivated by the red plastic flower Javier had plucked out of the table arrangement to give to her. She kept bouncing in your lap, waving the flower around — mostly to get her daddy’s attention. You brushed your fingers over the top of her head, smoothing her hair down before you pressed a kiss to the top of her head. 

“The last time I saw Danny,” Javier remarked to his father who was sat beside him. “He was riding the big wheel down the sidewalk.” He reached over and gave your knee a squeeze beneath the white table cloth. 

“It means a lot to your tia that you’re here,” The elder Peña remarked, before looking at you and Josie. “And it’s real nice that you finally brought your girls up here to let us meet them.” 

Josie squealed and babbled, keenly aware that she was now the topic of conversation. She bounced in your lap, tossing her flower on the floor as she grabbed at the table cloth, trying to stand herself up. 

“Here,” Javi said, plucking the flower up off the floor and tossing it back on the table, before he swept her out of your arms. “You should get something to eat while you can.” He told you, pressing a kiss to your cheek. 

“Those tamales look good,” You peered across the table at Chucho’s plate. 

“Javier’s tia makes the best.”

You scooted your chair back, resting your hand on Javi’s shoulder as you stood up, giving it three quick squeezes before you headed towards the row of tables that were still filled with food. The party was in full swing — guests laughing and dancing; eating to their heart’s content. Most of the children had already escaped out the side door to play outside, but some were still running around. It was hard to believe that in a few short years, Josie would be running around like them. 

You picked up a plate at the end of the table, looking over the options. 

“If you like chili, you should try the puntas.” 

You glanced up from spooning some rice onto your plate, offering the blonde woman across from you a kind smile. “I don’t eat beef, but thank you. It looks delicious, nevertheless.” You took a few steps further down the table, using the tongs to pick up two tamales. She followed you.

“So you and Javi…” 

You looked up again, lips drawn into a thin line. “Yes?”

“It’s just,” She wistfully looked past you and you followed her line of sight over your shoulder. Javier was in the midst of showing Josie off to one of his cousins, holding her up on his thighs so she could pretend to stand. “I never thought he was the type to settle down.” 

“You’re Lorraine, aren’t you?” You questioned with an arched brow. Javier had warned you that his ex-fiancé would be at the wedding, considering she was still close to his family. 

“Oh, yes.” She flustered, brushing her hair behind her shoulders with a nod. “It’s nice to meet you.” Lorraine offered politely. 

“Likewise.” You continued down the line of food, keenly aware of the fact that Lorraine was shadowing you from across the table. 

“It was just a surprise, you know.” She started when you paused to spoon some mole onto your rice. “Even his father didn’t know until two weeks ago.” 

Your brows furrowed together, “And?” 

Lorraine shrugged, “Everyone in town has been speculating about it. Why keep it a secret?”

“Don’t you have a husband and two kids to worry about, Lorraine?” You questioned with an edge to your voice, “I don’t give a shit what the bored people of Laredo have been saying about my relationship with Javi. Some of us have jobs that require us to keep our private lives private.” 

Instead of giving Lorraine the chance to respond, you offered her a curt smile before heading back over to the table with Javier. 

“You good?” He questioned as you settled back into your seat beside him. 

Smoothing your hands over your cotton sundress, “At least I don’t look like nursing home curtains.” 

Javier chuckled, draping his arm over the back of your chair, fingers trailing over the curve of your shoulder. “That’s my girl.” 

You shrugged, cutting into your tamales and taking a bite. “I don’t know what she was aiming to do. I get it, I’m sure she’s got some lingering resentment or whatever but…” You rolled your eyes. 

He scooted his chair closer to yours, leaning in to press a kiss to your bare shoulder, “I’m gonna go talk to her, alright? Clear the air and all that shit.” 

“Don’t be gone too long, I expect a dance.” You told him, brushing your fingers over his cheek. 

Javier curled his fingers around your hand, holding it in place as he turned to press a kiss to the center of your palm. “You’ll get your dance.” He promised, before looking towards his father and Josie. “And keep an eye on Pops, he’ll have Josie drinking Bud if we’re not careful.” 

“Get out of here,” Chucho laughed, waving Javier off. 

Unsurprisingly, Josie had her abuela eating out of the palm of her hand, just like she had Javier wrapped around her little fingers. Chucho was enamoured with her from the first moment the pair met. 

You hated that Lorraine had gotten under your skin, even a little bit. Yeah, it was true that Javi hadn’t told his father about Josie until right before you made the trip to Laredo. She was almost five months old, with her first tooth starting to come in — but her grandfather hadn’t known she even existed until two weeks ago. Chucho had been surprised enough to find out that his son was bringing his girlfriend to the wedding. He’d openly wept when he met his mother’s namesake, little miss Joséfina. 

“Are you having fun?” Chucho asked you as he tried to keep Josie from prying his hat off his head. She was bound and determined to pull it off, probably just to put it in her mouth. 

You nodded, wiping your mouth off with your napkin. “Everyone’s been so welcoming. And the wedding was gorgeous.” Josie turned her attention back to you, blowing raspberries at you — you could kill Javi for teaching her that. 

“Manners, little lady.” You laughed, sliding over into Javier’s seat so you could wipe her mouth off. She giggled, trying to stick the napkin in her mouth. “Are you good to keep her for a little while longer?” You asked. 

Chucho nodded, tickling her sides to get her attention. “We’ve still got to make the rounds so I can brag about having the prettiest granddaughter.” 

“She is pretty damn cute.” You grinned at her, brushing your fingertips over her cheek before bopping her in the nose. “Don’t give her any Bud.” You teased with a wink, before you headed across the dance hall to where Javier was still engrossed in a tense conversation with Lorraine. 

“Hey baby,” Javier’s eyes lit up when he saw you coming and he rose to his feet, wrapping an arm around your waist. “We were just talking about you.” 

“My ears were burning,” You remarked, brows rising upwards curiously. “All good things I hope.” 

Javier bumped his nose against your cheek before planting a kiss there. “Of course.” He promised, looking between you and Lorraine then. 

“I was telling him that it’s probably for the best that we didn’t end up married.” Lorriane stated. “I think we ended up where we’re supposed to be.” She laughed breezily, shaking her head. “I still just can’t wrap my head around the idea of Jav being a father.” 

“He’s a really good one too.” You answered, resting your hand on his chest. “But don’t be deceived, he’s still an asshole.” 

“Baby.” He clicked his tongue against his teeth, shaking his head. 

You grinned up at him, your fingertips toying with the bit of skin peeping out of his shirt. “You know it’s true.” 

His hand slid from your waist, giving your ass a quick squeeze. “I owe you a dance, come on.” Javier looked back at Lorraine, “Give Randy my best.”

“Good luck to both of you.” Lorraine smiled politely. “Josie’s a beautiful little girl.” 

Javier took your hand into his, guiding you out onto the dance floor. “I haven’t danced in years.” He confessed as he settled one hand at your waist, the other holding your hand against his chest. 

“That seemed like a tense conversation.” 

“Ten years later and she’s still sore about me leaving her at the altar,” Javier chewed at the piece of gum in his mouth a little more harshly then. “It’s good though, baby. Water under the bridge.” 

You curled your other hand around the back of his neck, playing with the hairs at the nape of his neck. “What did you tell her about Josie?”

“I told her we were dealing with some deep shit in Columbia and for her safety we kept it quiet.” He shrugged. “It’s not too far from the truth.” 

“She’s got your father wrapped around her finger.” You mused, watching as Chucho carried Josie around the room, introducing her to the long list of relatives and friends that were there. 

“Everyone adores her,” Javier told you with a warm smile. “And you.” 

You laughed, “Really?”  

“Mhm.” He hummed with a nod, swaying a lot to the music with you. 

“I think they’re just shocked.” You teased. “You go to Columbia, take down Pablo Escobar, and then come back with a baby and me.” Everyone had been so kind to you. His tia had spent a good twenty minutes getting to know you, his cousin’s new bride had been friendly — inviting you along to brunch with some of the other women in the family. 

Javier attempted to spin you around, before he gave up and pulled you back against his chest, both of you laughing at just how bad you both were at dancing. “Do you want all of this?” He questioned, glancing around the room. 

“So you and Lorraine did talk about more than just Josie and the past.” You weren’t exactly surprised about that. You chewed on your bottom lip and shook your head. “No. The only thing I want out of this is your aunt’s tamale recipe.” You quipped. 

“You’re sure?” He pressed, running his hand up and down the length of your back. “I always thought all little girls dreamed of getting married.” 

You draped your arms over his shoulders, rising up on your toes to press a kiss to his lips. “No, Javi. I didn’t sit around imagining myself getting married.” You rolled your eyes. “What did she say?” 

“Shit about how she figured I’d pull the same stunt on you.” His shoulders tensed. “Told me I was afraid of commitment — acted like not telling Pops about Josie was part of it.” 

You couldn’t help but laugh, “I hope you told her she was wrong.” 

“Course I did.” Javier chewed his gum with some force, his eyes flickering away from your face guiltily. 

“You’re such a dumbass.” You huffed, tugging at the hair at the nape of his neck. “Do you want to get married, Javi?”

“No.” 

“Neither do I.” 

“Good.” Javier sighed heavily. 

Your lips parted, ready to say something else, but Chucho interrupted you — holding Josie out in front of him. “Someone’s had an accident.”

She squirmed and giggled, seeming entirely unphased by the fact that she was a stinky little thing. 

“I’ll get her bag,” Javier said, pressing a kiss to your cheek before he headed towards the table. 

“You are so stinky,” You complained to Josie in a playful voice, holding her carefully as you gave her grandfather a sympathetic smile. “Sorry.”

“It happens,” He shrugged, looking towards Javier. “You’re good for him, you know.” Chucho told you. “Javier was a good kid, but he always wanted out of here. Never seemed content with anything.”  He shook his head slowly. 

A faint smile spread over your lips as he stared at Chucho. “We’re just taking it one day at a time.” 

“That’s all any of us can do,” He said wisely, nodding his head towards Josie. “When the two of you decide to give her a sibling, you better tell me before they’re half a year old.”

Javier stopped abruptly beside you, looking confused. “What?”

Chucho gave Javi’s shoulder a squeeze. “I was just telling your pretty lady that you’d best tell me next time you have a kid. Preferably before they’ve got teeth coming in.”

“I’m going to go change her,” You told Javier, dipping out of that conversation. You couldn’t blame everyone for being curious about your relationship. Marriage, babies, a future. That’s all they cared about, especially given that you were at a celebration — not a funeral. Even Danny’s new bride had probed you for information when you’d joined her for brunch. 

You and Javier? Didn’t do conventional. All that mattered was that you loved each other and loved Josie. Everything else? Eh. It didn’t matter.

[katehuntington]

Title: Ride With Me (part sixteen) Fandom: Supernatural Timeline: 2008 Pairing: Dean x Reader Word count: ±5500 words Summary series: Y/N is a talented horse rider who is on her way to become a professional. In order to convince her father that she deserves the loan needed to start her own farm, she goes to Arizona for six months, to intern at a ranch owned by Bobby and Ellen Singer. Her future is set out, but then she meets a handsome horseman, who goes by the name of Dean Winchester. A heartwarming series about a cowboy who falls for the girl, letting go of the past and the importance of family.  Summary part sixteen: The wranglers return and Jo can’t wait to hear about Y/N’s adventures, until a disturbing call comes in. Warnings series: NSFW, 18+ only! Fluff, angst, eventually smut. Swearing, smoking, alcohol intoxication, alcohol abuse. Mutual pining, heartbreak. Crying, nightmares, childhood trauma. Description of animal abuse, domestic violence, mentions of addiction. Financial problems, stress, mental breakdown. Description of blood and injury, hospital scenes, character death, grief. Music: Opening scene: ‘River Crossing’ - Carter Burwell. Dean & Ellen scene: ‘She Is The Fire’ - Gareth Dunlop. Check out ‘Kate Huntington’s Ride With Me playlist’ on Spotify! Author’s note: It’s about damn time, ain’t it? Thank you @kittenofdoomage​, @girl-with-a-fandom-fettish​​ and @winchest09​​ for helping me. You girls are awesome betas and friends.

Ride With Me Masterlist

     “They’re here!”      With two long ranch ropes hanging from her shoulders, Jo walks up to the fence and hangs the bundles by the loops on a post. All the preparations have been made. Garth and her moved the trail horses to the pastures further to the left, creating space for the youngsters. The hay feeders are stacked, water troughs filled. All that’s left now is to get the horses in the right fields, which sounds easy enough, but has proven to be a struggle many times before. Getting a group of young feril stallions into a certain space is like herding cats.      Both excited and in suspense, she rests her bare forearms on the wooden rail, the sleeves of her plaid shirt rolled up. Jo hopes everything went alright and that everyone, humans and horses, are in good health. The blonde rancher peers at the orange haze up ahead, the wind carrying the veils of dust further east. The sun is slowly setting, catching the clouds rising up from the earth and setting them on fire. 

     She and Garth have one task: take the pack horses out of their hands so they can round up the horses and secure the gates. She looks over her shoulder, whipping her blond braid as she turns her head. Garth joins her, a big smile on his kind face, clearly just as excited. Behind him, in the tall doorway, Bobby and Ellen watch the approaching herd, several guests doing the same from the terrace at the outdoor arena. When she hears Benny’s classic ‘grito’ shout above the intensifying sounds of hoofbeats, she knows it’s time for action.       Macy and Jon come down the trail that carves through the property, both with a pack horse by their side. They only slow down when they turn the last corner. After handing over Cash and Aerosmith, the tourists thank them briefly and spin around, pushing the animals into a canter; their job is far from done. 

     As they speed back to the group again over the trail path outside the fenced pasture, Benny is the first to come through the first gate and from then on, it’s chaos. Most of the juvenile stallions follow him, but two hit the brakes when they notice the bottle neck, demanding quick responses from both Dean and Brad. A few others spread out before Benny has lured them through the second gate. Joplin bolts towards the stragglers once Y/N moves the reins towards her horse’s ears. Like she has been doing so all her life, Y/N cuts of the two youngsters, following the movements of the speedy mare. Dean is with her in a split second, ready to back her up if necessary, but Y/N doesn’t need saving. Jo smiles at the sight, proud of her friend, who is proving herself to be one hell of a ranch hand. She might be State Champion in the arena, but out there, working the fields, she rules the world.

     Shouts and whistles rise above the dust. Horses neigh, the ground trembles. Hooves dig deep into the ground, their beats pounding against the earth. It takes some maneuvering, but within ten minutes, the herd is on the right side of the fence, the animals cantering through the field and clinging together like a flock of birds. Once Macy has pulled the gate shut, the spectators on the terrace cheer, the ranch owners clap as well. Jo lets out an excited ‘woo-hoo!’ as well, Garth joining her in the howl. 

     Y/N turns in the saddle, her attention drawn by the applause coming from the ranch, and she smiles when realizing they have an audience. Ted is waiting for his next cue patiently, catching his breath after the intense ride, while his rider pulls his neckerchief down, using the other end of it to wipe his face. It doesn’t help much, the fabric just smudges the dirt and Y/N chuckles at the sight of the handsome cowboy, covered in dust.      “What?” He rubs his nose with the back of his hand.      “Nothing,” she laughs. “You just need a bath, that’s all.”      “Something about a pot and a kettle.”       He leans over, dragging the pad of his thumb across her cheek, showing her the dark smear on his finger. She laughs in surprise, only now tasting the earth on her lips. Playfully she glances at him from under her lashes, locking onto his green eyes, which stand out even brighter on his dirty face. God, she wouldn’t mind sharing a tub with him. 

     Dean redirects his attention to the group when the other wranglers join them. Content, he allows his eyes to pass the riders and their horses, all worn, covered in sweat and dust. The six of them turned out to be a solid group, because they absolutely nailed it.      “Alright, y’all,” he starts, resting his wrist on the horn of his saddle, absently tracing the dressing of his bandaged hand. “Awesome job, that was some impressive teamwork. I know it wasn’t always easy, but we brought them home.”      “Thanks for having us,” Macy returns, smiling genuine. “We would’ve gone in circles if it wasn’t for you.”      “Hey, now! What about lil’ ol’ me? Y’all would have starved to death if it wasn’t for my phenomenal stew,” Benny recalls, fishing for a compliment.       The riders laugh, Brad patting the Southerner on the back and thanking him for the fine dining. They turn the horses to the trail along the fenced pastures, heading towards the stables.

     Jo watches the company of six approach from under her hat, which shields the setting sun from blinding her. It’s an epic sight, the silhouets of the wranglers and their horses, illuminated with an edge of gold, dust clouds in their wake catching the light. Benny is right up front, accepting the small applause from the other guests with a ‘thank you, you’re too kind’. He looks like he just crawled out of a coal mine, his distinctive blue eyes standing out from the dirt.       She sighs with relief when she notices the three tourists, excitedly sharing conversation with each other about their epic Wild West adventure. They are all unharmed and clearly had a good time, which means they will pay the invoice they will receive once they check out in a couple of days. Maybe they’ll even throw in a tip; God knows the ranch needs it.

     Behind them, the last wranglers follow. Dean and Y/N ride stirrup by stirrup, exchanging a look that has the blonde cowgirl frowning. What’s going on with those two? The moment passes when Macy gets off her horse, Jo’s cue to help her tack down, while Garth assists Jonathan and Brad. She loosens Jimmi’s singe and glances over the horse’s back. Dean has allowed Y/N to pass through the fence first, turning Ted around to close the last gate from his saddle.      Joplin speedwalks onto the square as enthusiastic as the morning she left, not a trace of fatigue with the feisty little horse. As the mare and her rider pass by, Y/N makes eye contact with the ranch owner’s daughter, who follows her with her gaze, confused. The suppressed smile creates dimples in the intern’s cheeks, her lips pulled together in a thin line, as if she’s trying to contain herself. Almost like she has done something bad, something Jo told her not to do. Underneath she’s glowing, her eyes giving the sheer happiness away. Y/N averts her eyes again and steers Joplin to a free spot on the tack up area and only then Dean moves into Jo’s peripheral vision. His expression has similarities to Y/N’s, yet isn’t quite the same. For one, he’s way worse at hiding the sly smirk that reaches from ear to ear, not to mention the mischievous sparkle in his emerald greens. 

     Jo does a double-take, bouncing her eyes from the head wrangler to the intern and back. Then it clicks.      “You despicable dickwad,” she hisses.       Her piercing glare bores into Dean, who has aided Ted to halt next to the horse Jo is tacking down. Playing innocent, he raises his eyebrows at the insult as he dismounts.      “What did I do now?”       Jo narrows her eyes at her cousin. “Oh, you know damn well what you did.”      She lifts the tack from Jimmi’s back, pulling the damp saddle pad from underneath, after which she barges off, muttering to herself. Three days. I left those idiots alone for three days! 

     She enters the tack room, the heavy saddle on her hip. Still shaking her head disapproving, she hoists it over the high beam and hangs the wet blanket on the drying frame. When the door opens behind her, she spins on her heels and faces Y/N, who’s holding Joplin’s saddle, bridle hanging from her shoulder. Guilty, she tips her chin down, looking back at Jo while she bites her lip. The ranch owner’s daughter sighs, deciding to cut her some slack.      “You better hurry up hosing down your horse, ‘cause you have some explainin’ to do,” Jo tells her. “And hose down yourself while you’re at it. You look like you crawled up a chimney.”      Y/N chuckles, putting the tack away. “Oh, how I missed your honest judgement.”      “Missed you too, sis,” Jo returns, a smile pulling at the corner of her mouth. “Now get goin’, I need a drink and I need to get you drunk, because I wanna know everything. Meet me at the saloon in thirty.”

     A half an hour later, Y/N has taken a seat at one of the small round tables in the corner of the saloon, tapping her fingertips on the dark varnished wood. She’s freshly showered, her hair still damp, held together in a French braid. It’s nice to feel so clean again, no sticky sweat on her back, no sand in her bra, no dirt up her nose. Jo didn’t lie when she mocked her friend for looking like a chimney sweep; Y/N was shocked when she saw herself in the bathroom mirror. Dust as makeup foundation isn’t really the look she is aspiring for. 

     Funnily enough, Y/N has grown fond of this new version of herself, the one that isn’t so fussy over the details. After her shower, she didn’t even bother with her usual makeup and hair routine, a little bit of mascara was all she put on. Old her would have been self-conscious, especially knowing she’ll most likely meet the man she wants to impress. Old her would have ironed her shirt and polished her boots. Old her would have sighed at her reflection, nervous and disappointed, never pretty enough. But for three days straight, Dean looked at her as if she was the only girl in the world, no matter how dirty, dusty or sweaty she was. He even told her she was beautiful, with or without makeup. 

     The way he said it, the way he meant it, quieted that dreadful voice in her head and beckoned the small suppressed girl to step forward, into the light. That little girl’s voice grows louder when she accomplishes something. When she’s accepted, successful, appreciated… loved. But as it goes in business, one bad review might destroy what all the good accomplished. Her confidence is fragile, made of glass. She’s aware that when it falls, it will shatter. Maybe that’s the exact reason why she seeks confirmation. Glueing all the pieces together has proven to be difficult before. Some pieces go missing, others don’t fit together perfectly anymore. Cracks remain visible. And every time that brittle heart is stepped on, it’s harder to put it back together.

     “So!” Jo sits down opposite of her, roughly pulling her off the train of thought. “You better start talkin’.”      She shoves a large margarita glass towards her friend, keeping her delicate fingers around the neck of her beer bottle.      “I want details. Well, not all the details. He’s my cousin after all, I have no desire to know that much,” she corrects herself, thirstily gulping down her IPA when she pauses, keeping the beer in her mouth for a second before she swallows. “Hmm, so let’s start with… what the hell were you thinking and why didn’t you take my advice?”      “I couldn’t have stopped myself if I wanted to, Jo,” Y/N confesses, taking a sip from her beverage.       The blonde cowgirl sighs. “At least tell me it was a moment of weakness? One isolated incident?”

     Another sip, this one a little slower, hoping her friend can’t detect the blush.      “Oh, come on, Y/N,” Jo utters. “He ain’t a bad guy, but you know how he treats women. Remember Casey? Because I bet Dean doesn’t.”      “I don’t think this is like that,” she ponders, shaking her head. “The way he was with me... it’s different.”      Jo leans back in her seat, taking a swig from her drink, looking at her friend even when she tilts her head back and allows the golden brew to slip down her throat. She’s not judging her friend over her decisions, not really. She just wishes this fling with Dean won’t hurt her feelings, despite years of observation that say otherwise.      “Honey,” she starts empathetic. “I hate to break it to ya, but that’s how he’s been with every girl he had sex with. He makes them feel special and then he--”      “- I didn’t have sex with him,” Y/N corrects.      “Wait, what?” Jo cocks her head back, somewhat confused. “You didn’t?”      Y/N chuckles, shaking her head. “No. We kissed, we got a little handsy, but we didn’t have sex.”      Dumbfounded, her friend blinks, needing to process that information first before she responds. Then she nods impressed.      “I knew you were smarter than that,” she grins.      Y/N smiles, amused about how wrong Jo’s assumptions are. “It wasn’t me.”      “What wasn’t?”      “It wasn’t me who suggested taking it slow.”      “Then who--” the first words have fallen from Jo’s lips already before Y/N’s message sinks in and she realizes what that means. Eyes full of shock stare at her. “What?! Dean?!”

     Y/N laughs now, covering her mouth with her hand to keep the noise down. Oh, this is priceless.      “Dean wants to take it easy?” Jo double checks. “We’re talking about the same Dean, right? Dean Winchester? Cowboy Ken Doll with the cocky attitude?”      The tequila mixed with lime juice almost resurfaces through Y/N’s nose and they both laugh when she spills some.      “The one and only,” she giggles, wiping the spilled drink away with her sleeve, not bothered by the stain.       “Hold up. Let’s take it back,” Jo leans in, making sure no one can listen in. “You’re telling me that he had the opportunity to hit a homerun, but didn’t take it?”      “He had several opportunities, actually,” Y/N admits casually.      Perplexed Jo averts her gaze, focusing on nothing in particular, unable to grasp what is going on.       “Did he say anything?” she carefully checks, her frown marred with worry.      Jo assumed Dean was into the intern, but now that he passed up, she’s starting to doubt it. That is so unlike him. The thought crosses her mind that Y/N will most likely get hurt, just not in the way she was trying to prevent. What if the attraction isn’t mutual, but her dear friend hasn’t picked up on it yet?        “Yeah, he did,” she starts off. “We had a pretty deep conversation last night. Just the two of us.”      Jo raises her eyebrows. Another surprising fact; Dean having deep conversations. Have the stars aligned? Is she in a different universe?      “What’d he say?”

     Y/N becomes a little more guarded, unsure if it’s her place to discuss the matter with Jo. The small bit of information Dean shared with her about his past feels top secret, and she doesn’t want to break his trust when this circles back to him. She decides on keeping it plain.      “We talked about us, how to proceed from there. He said…” she smiles at the memory, remembering the sincerity in his voice and in his eyes. “He said he really cares about me, and that because of that, he doesn’t want to rush into it.”      Jo can’t believe her ears. “He said that?”      Y/N nods. “He also said he wants to be with me, Jo. Like really be with me. He just needs a little more time. I think he wants to make sure this lasts.”      “Well, I’ll be damned,” Jo huffs. “How about that?”

     The double saloon doors behind them are pushed open with a shriek, a few guests coming through. Y/N’s heart skips a beat when Dean enters as well. He looked good on the trail ride, in his long stockman coat, his leather fringed chaps, covered in dust and sweat. But my God, he looks even finer now. Dean also showered and changed his dirty jeans for a pair of clean dark ones, a navy blue button up hugging his strong back, shoulders, and arms. He trimmed the stubble that was transitioning into a beard, the shorter facial hair allowing the sharp line of his jaw to come through. Still standing on the doormat, he takes off his hat while scanning the saloon. Is he looking for her? When the cowboy finally spots her, he instantly smiles, the expression reaching his eyes. He holds her gaze when she smiles back happily, shooting her a wink, before heading for the bar. 

     “Ha...” Jo scoffs, amazed by the exchange she just witnessed. “Maybe there is hope for him after all.”      Y/N chuckles, clinking her glass to Jo’s raised bottle, the sound clear as a bell. Beaming, she steals another glance at the handsome cowboy by the bar, who has trouble keeping focus on the conversation with Bobby and Benny, looking over at her briefly every now and then. Taunting him, she takes the remaining beverage before her in one swig, licking the salt from her lips. When she checks on the head wrangler again, his eyes are glued on her, the sight of her downing her drink in one shot clearly having an effect on him. Jo observes the interaction like she’s watching a tennis match and scoffs.

     “Judging by the look he just gave ya, he’s not gonna be able to ‘take it slow’ much longer, because I’m positive you and your margarita just gave him a boner.” She gets up from her chair. “Want another one?”      Y/N nods, chuckling at her comment; Jo has so much faith in her cousin. She can’t really blame her, though, with Dean’s track record, but Y/N knows that this time it will be different. 

     She’s halfway through her second drink when she starts to feel the influence of the alcohol on her system. The music seems a little louder, the candle-shaped lights on the wagon wheels hanging from the ceiling sway slightly. She tells Jo about her adventure off the grid, about singing songs by the campfire at Willow Creek, about swimming with the horses at Eagle’s Nest, about her night ride with Dean. And of course about her moments with the wrangler. Jo stops her when the intern shares a little too much information about the heated kiss in the water, the ranch owner’s daughter putting her fingers in her ears and singing ‘lalala!’ to overrule the juicy details.

     Dean can’t tell what the girls are talking about, but he has a hunch. He smiles content with a beer in his hand, watching them giggle and clearly having a good time. Y/N taunts him every now and then, and he can’t help but smirk when she sips from her cocktail again. She’s gonna be the death of me, he thinks to himself.

The saloon is pretty busy, guests lingering after the arrival of the herd, having a few drinks to celebrate. He takes a second to absorb the ambiance. Cheerful conversations, laughter, eight-balls colliding on the pool table, country tunes playing. It’s much like the evening right before the new intern arrived. He had no idea how his life was going to change, but it did. His gaze lingers on her again, her wide smile and sparking eyes lighting up the room. God, she’s breathtaking. His chest grows a little tighter, but he has grown accustomed to the sensation. It terrified him at first, but now it feels comforting and warm. Dean knows what it means, he understands it, and although he’s still intimidated by what lays ahead, he is excited. This could be the beginning of a new chapter, hell, a whole damn book.

    “So, you and Y/N, huh?”      Staggered, Dean snaps out of it and turns his head to the person on the other side of the bar. It’s Ellen, who apparently noticed her nephew’s longing looks. She’s restocking the fridge under the counter, a dish towel draped over her shoulder and an amused expression on her face. The arched eyebrow surfaces frown lines, her knowing smile reaching her light brown eyes. For a second Dean considers denial, but stops himself, very much aware she will see right through it. Instead he stays quiet, a blush on his cheeks which his freckles can’t hide.      “Please don’t tell Uncle Bobby,” he pleads, keeping his voice down.      “You don’t have to whisper, he’s deaf as a doorknob.” She sets four bottles of IPA down on the counter, flipping the caps off swiftly. “And I personally think he wouldn’t mind.”      Dean scoffs. “Oh, he would. He told me not to get involved with her.”      “Well, he told me I wasn’t allowed to buy Jo a horse for her sixteenth birthday, and look what happened,” Ellen reminds him, the memory of the surprise gift with four legs still vivid, causing them both to chuckle. Bobby was grumpy at first, but Jo was ecstatic. One glimpse of his happy daughter took the old man’s bitterness away in an instant.      “He won’t make a fuss, honey. Believe me.”

“What makes you think that?” he wonders, nursing his beer.      “Because I’ve never before seen you look at a girl like you look at her,” she returns, hinting at Y/N.      The corner of Dean’s mouth curls up a little as he drops his gaze; she knows. He’s not surprised that Ellen is able to read him like an open book, she always had her way of deciphering what was going on in his head. He exchanges a look with his aunt, before she walks away with a tray of beer, the unspoken understanding saying enough.

     Just like on that evening when Y/N walked into his life, the phone rings. Not Bobby’s cellphone this time, but the landline. Ellen whips her hair over her shoulders while serving out the drinks, her hands still full.      “Can you get that, Dean?”      In response, the wrangler stands up from his stool and circles to the other side of the bar. Before he picks up the phone, he glances at the display, frowning when he notices the area code. 207; isn’t that up North?      “Gold Canyon Ranch.”      “Yes, hello. Is Y/N nearby? I’ve tried to call her cell, but I can’t reach her.”      Dean looks over his shoulder at the intern. She didn’t bring her phone on the trail, she wouldn’t have had reception up in the mountains anyway. The man’s tone on the other end of the line sounds serious.      “Yeah, she’s here,” he returns. “Can I ask who’s calling?”      “Her father.”

     Dean freezes, staring at the liquor stash on the shelves in front of him. Fuck. It’s her father. Her father! The wrangler has exactly 0.2 seconds to collect himself, but several thoughts already chase each other in his mind. Holy shit, and I’m messing with his daughter. And I was worried about Bobby?!       “Uh, I - I’ll get her,” he stammers, leaving the phone next to the machine.      Before Dean turns around, he takes a breath. Why would her father call? Just to check up on her? It seemed urgent, and he tried to reach her before. What if something has happened at home? Dean closes his eyes as he feels his stomach constrict. What if she has to go back?

     The cowboy swallows thickly and makes his way to the table in the far corner. He can see her expression fall when she notices the concern on his face, instantly reading in his body language that something is wrong. When he reaches her and Jo, he leans on the table, his knuckles white on the surface.      “Your father’s on the phone,” he notifies.      “What?” she returns, staggered. “My dad?”      Dean nods. “Yeah, he said he tried to call you.”      She quickly reaches for her back pocket, where she usually carries her Iphone. She got so used to not having the device on her, that she didn’t even miss it.      “Did he say what it’s about?” she asks, confused, as she gets up from her seat.      “He didn’t,” he says, trying to keep his tone unchanged, not wanting to worry her more than necessary. “You can take the phone in the kitchen, you’ll have some more privacy.”

     She nods a little bit dazed, takes a beat and then heads to the kitchen. Jo and Dean walk with her, staying behind the bar, offering her space. Through the round windows in the doors, they can see Y/N pick up the phone, but her voice is shut out, the saloon too noisy.      “I wonder what’s going on,” Jo says out loud.      The head wrangler doesn’t say anything, but grinds his teeth, his jaw set. His heart is beating faster than it should, drumming in his ears. Trying to distract himself, he grabs a beer from the cooler and flips the cap off with an opener, but he can’t stop his head from over-analyzing. Shit, what if this is it? What if her father wants her to come home? They were just beginning to grow closer, he was finally allowing himself to feel something. What if it blows up in his face?

     “Dean.”      Jo calls him back from his spiraling thoughts and he turns to peer through the small window. What he sees might just confirm his fear; Y/N has her hand clasped over her mouth. She’s facing away from them, but whatever her dad told her, it clearly impacts her, the pale fluorescent light harshly illuminating what seems to be a tragic scene. Dean’s hand is on the door handle before he can think twice, but his cousin grabs his arm.      “Give her a moment,” she insists.      Reluctantly, he waits, keeping a close eye on her. After another minute, she hangs up, but remains where she is, still processing the news.      Now Dean does push the door open, stepping into the kitchen, cautiously. “Y/N? You okay?”      The young woman who has him worried turns around, as if for a second she forgot he and Jo were waiting for her. Her eyes are glazed over, emotion evident, but Dean can’t quite guess which. As if she’s unable to believe what she just heard, she scoffs.      “I’m - I’m going to ride at Congress,” she stammers.       Her best friend’s jaw drops, staring at her stunned.      “Congress?” Jo checks. “As in the All American Quarter Horse Congress?! The biggest show of the year?!”      Y/N nods, still not sure if this is real.      “I sent in an application in March after I won the State Championships. I wasn’t sure if I had enough points to qualify, and when I didn’t hear back, I just figured...” she pauses, chuckling. “They sent the invitation to the university campus. Mom and Dad only received it last week.”

     Her eyes meet Dean, who stares back surprised. He has heard of Congress. It’s the most important Western riding event in the country, the event every equestrian owning a Quarter horse dreams to be a part of. It’s the biggest single-breed horse show in the world, the competition where the best face the best. Earning a spot on the starting list is a mission in itself, entering the massive arena is an honor. But right now, he couldn’t care less about statistics. He huffs a laugh, his shoulders relaxing in relief; Y/N isn’t going anywhere. Even better, her wish is about to come true, and witnessing her happiness right now, is all he could wish for himself.      “Holy shit...” he stammers, grinning wide.      “You’re going to Congress!” Jo exclaims.      The blonde cowgirl can’t contain her excitement any longer and jumps into Y/N’s arms. Knowing exactly how much this means to her friend, Jo hugs her tight. Absolutely glowing, she returns the embrace, the kitchen filling with their laughter, while Dean watches with a wide smile on his face.      “Well, if this ain’t a reason to raise our glasses, I don’t know what is,” he comments.      “Yes! I’ll get the tequila!” Jo announces, dashing back to the bar to gather the liquor.      “Wait! I have to train Meadow, I can’t waste another day. Congress is in three weeks!” Y/N protests, when her friend grabs her wrist to drag her out of the kitchen.      Jo snorts. “You had two margaritas, hon. You’re not getting on that poor horse.”      “But I should at least lunge her, and my freestyle needs work…” Y/N protests.

     Before they move through the double doors, she pleadingly glances over her shoulder at Dean, but for once the cowboy agrees with his cousin.      “You can train first thing in the morning, Yankee,” he assures.      “See? Now let’s celebrate!” Jo has already turned the music down, catching the attention of the ranch workers and the guests.      “Y’all! Guess who qualified for the All American Quarter Horse Congress?!” she exclaims, pointing at her friend, proudly.      “Well, slap my head and call me silly,” Benny responds surprised.      Garth grins wide, too. “I knew our Yankee could ride, but dang it! That’s impressive.”            Ellen, who was wiping down a table, leaves the cloth on the counter and dries her hands on her jeans, before opening her arm for Y/N as she closes the distance between them.      “Sweety, that’s amazing. Congratulations,” she says warmly, hugging the intern who is becoming a part of the family.      Bobby comes over to congratulate her as well, same as the other ranch workers, and even the tourists she spent the past couple of days with. In the mix of receiving all the praise, her eyes meet Dean’s, who watches her from behind the bar, a content smile playing on his lips. She mirrors his expression and in that little moment they share, time stops. As if for a second it’s just the two of them in the saloon. They don’t need words, he doesn’t have to wish her best of luck, she doesn’t have to hear him say it. The subtle wink he sends her way, combined with the warmth in his eyes is enough; he’s happy for her.

     “I don’t know about y’all, but I think we should drink to this,” Benny - of course - proposes.      “Free round on me!” Y/N promises, earning a loud cheer.      Chuckling, Dean takes the first pint glass in hand and pulls the lever of the beer tap towards him, letting the golden brew swirl into the shaker. He has a feeling this will not be the last round, and Y/N, for once, is indulging in the fun too. She’s always so focussed, eye on the prize. He appreciates how committed she is to achieving her dreams, how passionate she is, but sometimes she forgets to stop and enjoy how far she’s come. He replaces a full glass for an empty one without wasting beer and starts to hand them out. Today they will drink on recent victories, tomorrow they will work on the ones that will follow.

Thank you for reading. I appreciate every single one of you, but if you do want to give me some extra love, you are free to like or reblog my work, shoot me a message or buy me coffee (Link to Kofi in bio at the top of the page).

Read part seventeen here

[automaticenemycrusade]

Joyride: Ch. 2 - Kit’s Caravan

“Why is it my job to babysit?”

This had been the fourth or fifth time Nord was being complained to by Irro about their little arrangement, and while it went without saying, he was growing just a tinsy bit weary of it. From what he could tell, she had grown impatient and bored in the week that followed, in the week they all bargained for. The one day he promised them proved just as unfulfilling as the last, just as the next day did, then the next, then the next, but today, he always said, today would be the day where he could be careless.

He responded flatly, and with a hint of exasperation, “Because that’s your job.” What more did she expect? He supposed it made sense when he gave it some deeper thought. There must have been a reason for the vixen to blatantly leave behind her sibling. Maybe she sought escape from just that, from babysitting. In any case, he pushed it aside. He could discuss theories with himself later, because for now, Irro still looked irked.

“Okay, but why is it my job to babysit?” Out of all the odd jobs the caravan had to do on the Sandpiercer, she was burdened with the delicate task of caring for the smaller ones, including the more menial of duties, like in her current case, changing out Raysik’s diaper. If one couldn’t tell already, it was the responsibility that she hated the most. Nord could never tell why, nor would he ever ask. It’s anyone’s guess as to the latter.

“Because it’s your job, like it’s Rheana’s job to babysit Lynsol, and it’s Jole’s job to cook, and it’s my job to…” He trailed off. Fortunately for him, his cousin had just arrived to finish off his sentence. How convenient.

“To do everything else. We get it, big guy. Say, I’m starved, you think you could head out and-” And then he was cut off by another, by Raysik.

“Go faster! I wanna playyyy!”

“Yeah, I know, and it’ll go faster if you stay quiet for five more seconds.”

Then the boy started kicking his legs, and then the whining ensued, and then a sharp, “FASTER.” bellowed from him. Irro was next to join the cacophony with an unnecessarily drawn-out groan, and soon, Lynsol with his whimpers; Rheana with her pleading; Jole with his sly comments. Nord’s ears began to wilt, draping over the sides of his cheeks and pinning there to block out the raving chatter. It wasn’t working.

“Please shut up, please.” But in spite of her begging, Raysik continued to wail, which caused her to raise her voice and vice versa. Syllables grew more prolonged, cries grew louder, and Nord continued to shrink.

Nord interjected, “Raysik, pl-” but was cut off again.

“It hurts…”

“I know, honey.”

“Hmph!”

“Stop moving so much!”

Nord tried at it again. “Guys-” Again, he was cut off. Rheana’s added attempts at silencing them fell on deaf ears.

“Too loud.”

“Please quiet down.”

“Faster!”

“I’d be done if you’d stop kicking!”

And again. “Guys, listen to me. Guys?” And the cycle repeated, again. “Please.” And again. “No one’s listening to me--guys!” And again. “Guys!” Until the words eventually blurred together in a cluster of inseparable sounds, until Nord simply couldn’t take it anymore, and it was only with a thunderous stomp and a booming, “GUYS!” that silence finally descended upon the wagon. They all stared back at him with those same starry-eyed looks, waiting and anticipating. He didn’t have to utter a word for the caravan to fall into a chorus of apologies and resignations. He was almost awestruck at how much sway he held, but proud all the same. “Thank you.” And with that, he moved to open the door and head outside, for he was in desperate need of fresh air. He was stopped by the familiar stammer of a vixen though, namely Rheana.

“Where are you going?” She asked.

“Outside. I need some air. I won’t be long.”

She nodded faintly, adding, “Okay.” And not another word was spoken as Nord departed out the door. In fact, it wasn’t until he made it a few yards away that he heard the chatter start up again, though from this distance, he couldn’t tell whether it was good or bad. Either way, it wasn’t his problem right now, and he trusted Jole enough to keep things orderly in his absence, even if the fox was the living incarnate of chaos. He’d freely admit to that too. For now, he needed time to himself, time to think, time to collect his thoughts. Despite how free-rein this trip of theirs was, he rarely got the time to do just that. It was better spent tending to something or doing a chore, the very thing he wanted to escape when he agreed to this. This was meant to be his temporary reprieve! Yet all it had been was another way for fate, or karma, or kismet to kick him in the butt.

He couldn’t complain though. He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t grown fond of their little family in the week he had known them, even if they came to odds every now and again. Today, though, felt like the worst of them all, at least in terms of everyone’s physical shape. Lynsol had been feeling ill since the day before, Jole was lacking his usual pep, Irro was bored, Rheana was paranoid, and Raysik was oftentimes impatient. Nord, on the other hand, was lost. This wasn’t the first time he had come outside in the name of retrospection, nor would it be the last, and he could guarantee that. He felt aimless, dull, and he wasn’t at all pleased with how accustomed he was growing with the shackles of leadership. It scared him how much they all looked up to him, how much faith they had in him, because he knew he didn’t deserve it. Deep down, he knew he was both their blessing and their curse.

He hated it. He hated it so much. He just wasn’t sure who ‘it’ should be. Though, as per the usual, his train of thought was derailed once a voice reached his ears, a voice calling his name. His eyes shot up to the sky, in fear that time was once again slipping away. How long had he sat out there? An hour? More? He looked over to Jole--who had just arrived at his side--and opened his mouth, though he found the words had already abandoned him. His cousin, however, was happy to fill the silence.

“Nordyyy,” He started. “You good?” Nord had to wonder how many times those words had been passed between them at that point. Too many times. “I’ve been sensing some off vibes from you.”

“I’m just stressed, is all. We’ve been out here a week, Jole. I don’t--” He stammered. “What do I tell their parents when we get back? Why are we still out here?” A sharp pain hit his gut, like all of his stupidity was just now donning on him. What was he thinking, being so selfish? What was he thinking? He wobbled and shot up onto his feet, sputtering, “We need to go home. All of us. We’ve been out here too long.” And then he pivoted and started walking, but to his surprise, a hand to his shoulder hindered him from going any further. He turned his head to send the most boggled glance at Jole. What was he doing?

“Hey, hey,” He reeled Nord back in, cooing soothingly. “Just take a sit down, big guy. I can tell things have been weighing on you lately, but you don’t gotta worry, ‘cause I got everything handled behind the scenes. It’s the big, deep desert, Nordy. They’d be stupid not to expect a delay or four.” He spoke slowly and enunciated his words, which, to his success (Nord could only guess), got his cousin to start nodding along, for better or for worse. “Remember what this is all about, ‘kay?”

“We’re educating the kits? The authentic caravaneer experience?”

Jole shook his head. “Fun, bud. Fun.”

Despite all the cozy reassurances, Nord remained unconvinced, and with a shrug of his shoulder, continued his traipse toward the wagon. He was stopped again. “What.”

“You’re stressed, I get it,” The ashfur put his hands out in front of him, appearing as understanding as he possibly could. “But you don’t wanna ruin all their fun, right?”

Nord scoffed. He knew that was a lie. He knew that was a lie. “Jole--”

“Shh-shh-shh,” Jole put a finger to his cousin’s lip. “I got an easy fix. You’re tense, you’re worried, and that’s fine, I am too sometimes, but me? I got a solution.” He raised his hand, wiggled his fingers, then dug deep into that overstuffed coat he had grown prone to wearing, before pulling from it the smallest satchel Nord had ever seen. He’d be better off calling it a pouch with buckles and straps, though it’s what was inside that Jole sought to grab his attention with. A crudely-carved pipe that, once he caught a whiff, smelt absolutely rancid. Jole, however, was waving the thing around like it was the key to a Sethraki fortune. “This’ll make you feel a million times better.”

Nord retrieved it from him tentatively. “What is it?”

The ashfur shrugged, as if he himself wasn’t all that sure. “Gift from Dad. He has, like, fifty of ‘em, and he decided to send me one, so…” He paused, itching at the nape of his neck. “Wouldn’t wanna put it to waste, right?” And to push the point, he nudged it further into his grasp, which worked. Somehow.

“How do--” And Jole immediately hushed him, as his hand delved back into his coat and pulled out a little sack--a packet--which he tore open and slipped its contents into the bowl of the pipe. It appeared to be an array of milled herbs and plantlife. Nord couldn’t help but wonder what the end goal here was.

“And then,” He paused and held up a finger, before bolting off back to the Sandpiercer, where he snatched up a twig--of all things--and held it to the lantern light to set the tip ablaze. Once he brought that back, to Nord’s sheer confusion, he held it to the bowl and set the flame to the herbs. Nord recoiled in disgust. That did NOT smell fragrant. “Easy as that.” Jole popped a grin. “Now, you smoke it. Puff-puff.”

His counterpart had never quirked his brow higher, though he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t intrigued by the prospect. Nord shuffled the device awkwardly in his hands, uncertain as to how he should take it, but with Jole’s guidance, he got the proper hold eventually. “Puff-puff,” He repeated, bringing the mouthpiece to his lips. “Puff.” And he proceeded to do the exact opposite and inhale, hacking and sputtering once the mix of herbs went the opposite way. Jole nearly slapped him upside the head for that one.

“Puff.”

“Right. Sorry.”

And he did just that. Puff. Smoke soon trailed from his nostrils as his shoulders began to sag, a distant, “You feelin’ it?” catching his ear. For the first time, he felt relaxed. He was amazed! What kind of magic was this? “What?” He stuttered, though he found the word only played in his head, or if it did come out, it was faint. Time was moving faster, the world was spinning--it was both a dream and a nightmare. The pipe itself had left his hand, before finding itself there again but a second later. Puff.

Puff.

Nord couldn’t have told anyone in full confidence how long he’d stood there, in that spot, with pipe in hand. It could have been as little as five minutes, or as long as a day. He wasn’t sure. But, when he eventually returned from semi-consciousness, he found that he was alone again, with delicate footsteps approaching close behind him. He didn’t dare to catch a preemptive glance at whatever was coming to greet him, and it was anyone’s guess as to why.

“Hey,” they said. It was Irro, unexpectedly. “You’ve been out here a while.”

He didn’t find that as off-putting as he probably should have. He asked for this the minute he took Jole up on his offer. “Yeah,” he replied lazily, his movements sluggish. “Just needed some me time, I guess.” With that, he left them at an awkward and wordless impasse. That is, until his eyes landed on the pipe still planted in his hands, when shame and guilt took hold. He couldn’t hide it anymore. “Hey,” Irro looked back at him, wide-eyed. “Don’t be like me. Okay?”

She turned her gaze elsewhere when he said it, placid-like. She probably wasn’t in the mood for a heart-to-heart, but she was here, she had made that decision, and now she faced the consequences. She shrugged. “Dunno why. You seem kinda,” She made a so-so gesture. “Prime example-ish.”

Nord chuckled half-heartedly. “Do as I say, not as I do.” And that, too, squeezed a titter out of the vixen. Not a word more was exchanged between them, but he didn’t mind. He was satisfied with the company. He--and he assumed she too--fell into a fit of admiring the sunset, a sight he too often missed, just as it was descending past the horizon. It was nice. This was nice. “--Irro?”

And she was already gone.

♦

To no one’s surprise, the day that followed didn’t prove any more thrilling than the last, nor the next, nor the next. A week turned to two, weeks turned to a month, a month turned to six, and months turned to a year. A year. A year away from home and family, a year Nord had kept the children under his care away from their mothers and fathers. A year turned to more drags of the pipe; it turned to more of Jole’s stupid reassurances; it turned to more impatience, paranoia, and boredom, but on a lighter note, it turned to stronger bonds; it turned to more days spent as a family; it turned to memories that Nord could enjoy well into his golden years. In time, a year turned to four.

Nord had lost count of the days. With each sunrise and sunset, he had to remind himself it wasn’t the one from the night before. Sometimes he’d forget to do so and lose a day, and those added up very quickly. He’d often lose weeks at a time if there wasn’t something particularly memorable that happened in them, which didn’t happen often, because little changed from day to day. Today was no exception.

Here he sat, aboard the Sandpiercer, watching the vulpera mingle with one another, and awaiting something, anything, to happen. Though it excluded the company of Jole and Lynsol, the others did their best to entertain him, with some being more fervent than their peers. Rheana--bless her soul--could talk his ear off all she wanted, but her efforts were for naught. To Nord, it was but another day, where nothing ever changed.

It was unsettling. The deeper he fell into his own head, the more the voices around him dimmed and the less physical response Rheana received. Then came the abrupt hammering at the door, and his senses were instantly reignited.

“We got a big problem here!”

♦

Jole had never been one for theatrics. Of course, he had never been all that good at telling the truth either! But, if there’s one thing he was ace at, it was coming up with bizarre and ludicrous games for the whole family to enjoy. They came in all variants, all styles of play, and while he had his preferences, his utmost favorite of them all was Valley Hopping. It was a simple enough game to play: you picked an opponent, you picked a valley, you picked a starting spot and a finish line, then you met up, you clapped hands, and you ran. The best part? It didn’t matter who won the race. It only mattered how much stuff you managed to grab along the way, as that’s how points were tallied. Plantlife, herbs, metal scraps, whatever one could spot mid-dash. And today, that’s exactly the game he wanted to play.

Step One: Pick an Opponent. Easy enough. There was no one around that he was particularly on board with, or vice versa. More so vice versa. The siblings had some steady vibes, but one was really annoying and the other hated his guts for whatever reason. She’d say otherwise when she got the chance, but Jole saw right through her. That’s another thing he was ace at. He was ace at a lot of things. Was he getting off topic? He was getting off topic. There was the other vixen, but she was subpar competition, and Jole was looking for something fresh, something exciting. Lo and behold, in came that little, dappled bundle of sunshine. Lyn, Lynnie, Lynman, Lynster, Lil’ Lyn, Lynsol. Bingo.

“Lynnie!”

“Mm?”

He stuck out a hand. “Wanna go Valley Hopping?”

“Me? Really?” He already looked giddy. Jole’s handiwork, no doubt. “Oh, but,” And then it evaporated. Jole would have scoffed-- “Nordy said I had chores to do today. He says I gotta start being more independent.” He scoffed. Lynsol, true to his nature, took notice of it and elaborated, “But I wanna go! I can do stuff after.” And there came that smile. Who could say no to that smile? Not that Jole was planning on saying no anyway.

“Not a worry, Lynman, I’m sure the big boss won’t mind. We’re here to have fun, aren’t we?” He gave the boy’s shoulder a light punch, which was met with a similarly light titter. That’s one step down.

Step Two: Pick a Valley. This step might as well have been a formality. Vol’dun was practically made of valleys. Instead of doing the thing Nordy might have done, like pull out a whole-ass map to pencil down the approximate locations and the threat of the local wildlife and the Sethrak activity in the area, Jole was going to do a thing called “winging it,” which as you may have guessed, was another thing he was ace at. All the same, he and Lynster wandered around the desert for quite some time before landing upon a quaint little canyon in the middle of nowhere. It wasn’t his go-to, but it would do.

The ashfur swung his sack onto the ground, announcing with prolix, “Allllriiiiiight! Now all we need to do is pick a start and finish,” Step Three, by the way. “and we’ll be more golden than a troll king buried in a family tomb. I sayyyyy, here to there!” He pointed vaguely. “Easy-peasy.” 

Lynsol looked unsure of what to do with the jumble of words that just escaped Jole’s lips, but damn it if he didn’t try anyway-- “Okay!” He paused, briefly looking off into the distance, supposedly where Jole had pointed. He was far off, but Jole gave credit where it was due. The boy looked back. “Where?”

Jole waved his hands dismissively. “Details, details! Just follow me and stop when I stop.”

“Oh, okay!” Lynnie’s eyes darted off elsewhere, before darting right back. “What if I get in front of you?”

He would have scoffed if not for-- You know what? Fuck it. He scoffed. “First of all,” He rose a pointer finger. “You won’t. Trust me,” then rose a middle finger. “And second of all, it doesn’t matter who wiiins! C’mon, y’know this. Just matters how much stuff you grab along the way.” He flicked at Lynman’s ear. Playfully, obviously. In any case, he looked more than on board.

Step Four: Clap Hands. Technically Step Five, but they had already “met up,” per se, so they were allowed to skip around. Plus, it was his game, so he could do what he wanted. It’s not like having fun was meant to be orderly. Was he being bitter? He was being bitter. After a quick readjustment of his vibe, he led his opponent to their starting spot, as it were, before arching low enough that his chest would meet his thigh and his knuckles would meet the sand. He extended his hand out at his side, where it would soon meet the flat of Lynnie’s.

“Remember, it’s a test of perception, not speed.” He probably didn’t know what ‘perception’ meant, huh? Jole elaborated, “Who can eye gooder.”

“Okay!”

“No looking back, no backtracking. Oh, and mind the hornets.”

“What?”

“OKAY. ONETWOTHREEGO.”

And with their resounding clap, they set off into the canyon, with that previous sound becoming completely overshot by the sound of their footsteps, and soon enough, the heaving of their breath, though that may have just been Jole. Did the vigor of youth count as cheating?-- Whoa. He nearly missed that clump of star moss. Keep it cool, keep it frosty.

Running, and running, and running. He couldn’t waste even a moment to look over his shoulder to see the state of his competitor. It’s not like he could have overtaken him already! This was the kid’s first time playing, and there were a lot of tactics one had to learn to--

And there he was, like some mystical, blazing arrow that had been shot from the bow of a Loa. Did Loa have bows? Jole had never been too poetic-- FOCUS. And so he began to speed up, his feet slamming into the dunes like it had just insulted his mother, which, admittedly, wasn’t all that good of a simile, because Jole wouldn’t have cared. Worse yet, now they were heading into the brush and briar, which meant thorns to jab at their toes. At the very least, he was ahead of Lynster again, though he was deeply regretting not opting for his go-to. He knew that valley inside and out! He would have had the advantage! When he asked for something exciting and something fresh, he wasn’t asking to lose.

Not that he was going to lose, of course.

And that mentality stuck! That is, until Jole found that he had collided with a branch. WHAM! But as quick as he collapsed, he ascended back to his feet. A distant, concerned, “Are you okay?” rung out behind him, probably from Lynnie, definitely from Lynnie. He called out in reply, “NO BACKTRACKING.” which received an even quieter, “Right! Sorry!” in turn.

He repeated the process again, over and over, in an almost mindless fashion. What he thought to be absolute centuries of droning and braindead collection turned out to be, to his surprise, a singular minute. He blanked. Did he just pull a Nordy? He wouldn’t be given the chance to process that, as he was tugged back into reality by the click-clacking of… something. He could have stopped running to investigate, but therein lied the issue. It required stopping. It’s not like he had to pin it down. It could have been something as simple as the rustle of their knapsacks, which it no doubt was now that he thought about it.

Still, that gut feeling wasn’t going away, and it was rare that his gut feelings were wrong. The click-clacking grew louder, so loud that it crept into the realm of familiarity. He knew exactly what he was hearing, yet at the same time, he was denying it. A contradiction unto himself. His first instinct was to keep running, but then he heard the grunts, the panicked cry, and then one, sharp, “JOLLY!”

And that finally convinced him to grind to a halt. He huffed out a breath, then weakly pivoted on his heel. His knees were numb. Everything was numb. But none of that mattered when the adrenaline took hold. He would remember vividly what he saw that evening: that same dappled bundle of sunshine batting away at a hornet--the ugliest one he had ever seen--with a twig. Maybe they were all that ugly. He had never gotten this close to one before, willingly or not.

The ashfur watched as the hornet’s stinger, like some disgusting, throbbing quill, sunk into Lynsol’s back for the briefest moment, before fight or flight took the reins. Jole barreled into the fray, hefting up a branch two times his size and swinging it at the thing. Never had he been so pleased to hear the crunching of a carapace than in that moment, but he couldn’t stay long. Despite every muscle in his body pushing him to finish the bug off, he knew he had to do the wise thing, just this once. 

And that’s just what he did.

He hoisted the boy into his arms and ran. He ran like he never had before, which may have been a lie. He was only vulperan, so he had his limitations, but, you know, dramatic narration and all. This isn’t to say he wasn’t trying, he really was trying. He really was. It wasn’t his fault. He didn’t want it to be his fault. It wasn’t. It wouldn’t be.

“I’ve gotcha, little guy, don’t worry.” He didn’t sound all that certain, which isn’t to say that he wasn’t. He definitely was! He just didn’t sound like it. “Just hold on for me, ‘kay? ‘Kay. Alright.”

He hadn’t gone too far, thankfully, so it wasn’t long until the Sandpiercer was in sight. He wasted no time in colliding with the door and banging on it relentlessly. Between his panicked breathing and his incoherent cursing, he sputtered out,

“We got a big problem here!”

♦

When Nord threw open the door, he was greeted with a relative who fancied himself a visionary, carrying the limp body of a dreamer. In all his life, in all the terrible, abhorrent news he had seen and been given over the years, in all the times his heart had sunk, it had never sunk so fast as when his eyes landed upon the aimless, dull blues of Lynsol’s, staring back at him pleadingly. His hand had never flown up so quickly, and he had never pointed at Rheana with such fury before. His voice had never bellowed so loudly, nor had it ever sounded so angry. His suggestions became demands and his propositions became orders. In an instant, he had changed. In an instant, the gravity of the situation had broken him.

As soon as he received the rug he had asked for, he swept himself outside, laid it on the ground, and barked, “Put him down on this!” which his cousin was more than happy to oblige. His hands landed on the boy just as the opportunity arose, checking every place one could tell a pulse from, repeatedly, as his mind lay fragmented somewhere between paranoia and blind hatred. This time he wouldn’t let the seconds slip away from him, because he was going to count each and every one of them. His eyes shot back up at Jole. “What did you do.”

The ashfur looked disturbed, to say the least, but as per his nature, he had the divine ability to evaporate his own tension as if it were as easy as flipping a switch. “I dunno. He was out playing in the canyon, I think. I didn’t know what he was doing, but I looked away for one second and I found him like this.” He rose the boy’s head, high enough to gesture to the venomous wound that lay in his back. The rampant anxiety clung harder. “Sting, I could guess.” He shrugged. Shrugged. He wasn’t taking this seriously at all.

“Well, did you clean it? He should be fine if you disinfected the wound. You cleaned it, right?” Nord’s breathing only grew further out of pace, while Lynsol’s began to waver.

Jole paused. “I, uh, I didn’t find him soon enough. I didn’t know what to do--” He choked.

“Then it’s infected. It’s infected.” He muttered a swear. “There’s an antidote. It’s the,” He clapped his hands together in a desperate attempt to reignite his memory. “The stalk, near the caves, to the north. Get some, quickly.” He waved off the ashfur, but he did not leave. He blanked at him. “Jole, go!--”

“Do you want me to die too?! I can’t go! It’s almost night, the Sethrak will--”

“He’s going to die, Jole! Are you just going to stand there and gawk while you could be, I don’t know, TRYING?” Nord’s eyes fell back down to the boy, who now clung to his arm. He clung back, if not with a tinge more force, before his attention shot back up to the ashfur. Why was he still here? “JOLE.”

“I CAN’T DO ANYTHING.”

Nord’s heart beat within his chest faster than it ever had. He felt faint. Every solution he calculated in his head lost its legs at an unprecedented dead end, everything he and his merry band of children could do would do next to nothing. What could he do? Why didn’t he go back? Why didn’t he say no?

There was a huff of breath that reached his ears--Lynsol’s--that caused him to envelope the boy with his own body. The rise and fall of his chest staggered, as Nord desperately tried making out the words he was supposedly being told.

“Can’t breathe.”

“I can’t breathe.”

Nord muttered back, “It’s okay, Lynnie, shhh… It’s okay.” as he laid him back down while remaining just as close. His hand went to frailly claw at his throat to emphasize the point, the truth that Nord wished to do anything but accept. “Remember when I said you’d help us all learn how to keep our chins up? Well, you did it, Lynnie. We need you to keep doing it. I need you.” And in that single space of time, his surroundings became just as unclear as when he took a drag of the pipe. The world seemed to slow, solely to trap him in this one torturous moment. He couldn’t hear any other voice, any other breath, besides the boy’s, not even his own. He stared into the eyes of happiness itself, of sunshine, of hope. He stared into those eyes just as they began to flicker. Every word he ushered he couldn’t hear; every minor reassurance fell on deaf ears. He was all that mattered. Why didn’t they see that? He wanted to scream, to berate, to separate the wall, but he, too, was limp, just as that little bundle of sunshine was.

Lynnie.

And then the light died.

[trying-write-fanfics]

OverhaulXreader part 8

Time went on and managing the restaurant became simple. Everyday was watching the ingredients go out, when to order more, evaluate customer satisfaction, and counting the money. Everyone was rather fond of Y/n working at the Wicked Sparrow.

However there was an issue clouding her mind. She revealed her cards too soon to her childhood crush. It was a stupid mistake to tell him anything because now he’s waiting. The unpacking, the making connections, everything was falling into place. Yes he’s handsome, always the same Kai, and has been the dream man for all her years. Reality set in. Kai was amazing, but being with him would be a lot of sacrifice, sacrifice she wasn’t sure she was ready for.

Kai isn’t the romantic type. That could be expected from a mile away. There wasn’t going to be no running into each other’s arms on a beach, or holding hands in public. He might buy her things, but the things don’t matter. Touching. She has seen him break out in hives so many times, and it seemed the germs only got worse. He was in a mask twenty four seven. There were also hard times that need to be considered. What is he going to do when she has her own problems? Throw money at it and get annoyed that it doesn’t dissolve? Can he even handle a romantic relationship? Does he want one? He’s still a virgin, so maybe it’s a no to any intimate relationship like that.

That stupid thought though kept coming back to break all her logic. “Don’t you have a confession to work on?” What an idiot to tell him anything drunk! She just wanted to go to his house and give him some wine! She was for sure he would kick her out! She was so gross! But he stayed, and slept beside her. Best of all she didn’t even have night terrors. It was the reason why she had a solo dorm, she kept her roommate awake.

Kai was a wonderful excuse too. During her time in France, the whole time felt like it had an end date. Potential suitors would try to change her mind that there was still more to explore with them and that she should stay. A childhood best friend crush was no one to compete with. No one could be better than the man handwriting her letters for so many years.

Now things weren’t a fantasy. Her desires to be held by him, to be kissed by him, to be seen with him in public seemed like little things, but would be unbearable to ever expect him to do. Life with Kai wouldn’t be a fantasy, it would be dangerous. One accident was once enough.

To think of him too! He doesn’t have time or the strength to have a girlfriend! He has a small yakuza to run, and even though the man is brilliant, the niche for it is shrinking. It’s not erratic villains taking over the crime scene.

“Lost in thought?” Sumi, a waitress asked.

“Just zoned out for a second.” Y/n quickly went back to counting tomatoes.

“Has your dating life blossomed yet?” She asked.

“What!”

“It’s been a month since you’ve moved to the country. You’re always wearing these outfits, I just thought someone would have tried to do something.” She explained.

“Oh, well I’m not really looking.” Y/n was quick to sweep it under the rug.

“Are you a lesbian?”

“No, I’m not ready to date, that’s all.” Y/n explained.

“If you want I can set you up with my cousin. He works at a seafood restaurant.”

“Maybe another time.”

After her shift was done, she went home and changed for practice. She has a couple secret hobbies. A sense of community and belonging she was yearning for. She knew her parents were trying to protect her, but for so many years she was alone in a foreign land. When she returned everything was different. There was no constant. They went through two dogs during her time away. The first one died from getting hit by a car. She didn’t feel loved. Everyone was so distant. This place was the only place she began to feel a new sense of warmth. Though it didn’t completely match her beliefs it was still fun.

After practice she took the subway home. The cart was empty. The light was harsh as it tried to shine but it was a stale white light. It was only there to serve a purpose. Her phone rang, of course it was the devil himself.

“Hey, Kai.” She sighed.

“Where are you?”

“Always straight to the point, huh? Why would you like to know?”

“I pulled a you and came over. You know I didn’t get you a house warming gift yet, so I got one.”

“Oh, was the wine that bad?” She teased.

“I’m not giving you more alcohol. Your public intoxication is going to get fined one day.” He told her. “Are you drunk?”

“A little bit.” She lied.

“God.” He growled. “Do you want me to pick you up. You shouldn’t be out and drunk like you are.”

“I’m kidding, Kai, don’t get your panties in a wad.” She told him.

“I don’t know. I’ve only seen you drunk or hungover.”

“Maybe you should visit me at work.”

“Should I too go in drunk?”

“Shut up.” She laughed.

It was these conversations she adored. How she could let her guard down with him, even play a little. These conversations wouldn’t be enough though that’s worth a confession.

“I’m getting off the subway, I should be back in ten minutes. I’d let you in, but the spare key is inside the apartment.”

“I might be able to work around that.”

“See you then.” She told him.

Hopefully he wouldn’t ask about that confession, maybe it already left his mind. Tonight’s not the night to tell him he’s not “boyfriend” material. They were still friends with complicated feelings. Yeah, she loves him, but her place may not be beside him.

He was already inside when she got there. He was sitting at the kitchen table. Dumb, she forgot about his quirk. He doesn’t use it often in front of her.

“Breaking and entering?”

“You told me you’d invite me in.” He played back.

Her eyes were drawn to a purple gift bag.

“What’s inside that?” She asked.

“Open it. You’ll see.”

It was an expensive knife set. She smiled and looked at him. He did snoop through her things and saw her knives were on dulling.

“Why thank you. You should be expecting a thank you note in the next three to five business days.” She told him.

“Why not thank me now?”

Y/n’s eyes widen. He didn’t forget. What else could he do, read her mind? She sighed and tried to put something together.

“I need to table this discussion.” She firmly said. “You’ll hear it’s when I’m ready. Not because you bought me some fancy gift, or you say something clever.” She waved her finger in his face. “I’m a wreck right now.”

“With what?” His tone didn’t sound like a question.

“Nothing for your precious little mind to worry about.” She countered.

“I’m sure whatever you’re going through isn’t that bad.”

It was words like those that held her back.

“Which is why you don’t need to worry.”

Her phone began to ring. It was her boss.

“I gotta take this.” She said.

“(Last name)! (Last name)! Good news! Great news! I just had a consultation with a customer, show them your menu you’ve been putting together and they want you to cater their high class event!” Her boss yelled.

“Wow...that’s amazing-“

“I almost lost them! They wanted something special, and new! When the dish you added to the menu they said they wanted something more like that!”

“Who is it?”

“You’re never going to guess!” The Best Jeanist!”

There was an awkward silence.

“HE’S NUMBER FOUR ON THE HERO CHARTS! Do you seriously not watch the news?”

“I’m still figuring out the channels.” She lied.

“It’s for his fashion show next month. I want all your entertainment focused on that.”

“Will do.” She hung up.

She was making her way into fame, but it wasn’t a happy moment.

“Congratulations.” Kai said. “Are you going to poison them?”

“You wish. I bet my boss hasn’t even told that guy I’ve been there less than a month.” She sighed. “I’m a little overwhelmed at just the thought of this.”

“You can still decline.”

“It’s a good opportunity.” She sighed.

Kai got up and patted her shoulder, twice. It was moments like those she believed he was capable of changing or wanting to show a new side to her.

“I’m sure you’ll do what’s best.” He told her.

“Thank you for stopping by.” She told him. She was about to lean on him for support, but stopped herself for a couple of reasons.

“Is there anything you want me to take care of?”

“Focus on your goals.” She told him.

It was a difficult time to go to sleep that night, but she ended up passing out due to exhaustion from overthinking .

Next https://tryingfe-imaginesblog.tumblr.com/post/613798823803895808/overhaulxreader-part-9-chisaki-didnt-understand

[shadowsof-thenight]

Flashlight: Chapter twelve

Story summary: This is an AU Two years ago, the love of your life walked out the door, breaking your heart into a million pieces. He had been unable to deal with his ptsd and you hadn’t been able to help him.Now that your best friend is marrying his friend, he’s coming back to town and you try to brace yourself for the reunion. Will you finally get closure?

Ship: Bucky Barnes X Reader

Warnings: mentions of ptsd, descriptions of ptsd, angst, heartbreak, reader wants to help but doesn’t understand ptsd.

Words: 2704

***

A/N: Yeahhhh new chapter. Again sorry for the wait. Not sure where time went this time. As always the wonderful @beanstalk007 helped me with this (and all) chapters, and I am so grateful.

Feedback is greatly appreciated! And if you want to get tagged, let me know.

***

Masterlist                                              Story Masterlist

***

“Guys, guys!” Steve’s voice boomed over the rest, “Lets just pick something and get started,” he finally had it with all the bickering and intervened as only he would. He never did like to see his friends argue, even if it was as light-hearted as this and you could not help the smile that formed on your face. Steve looked exasperated when Sam rolled his eyes and mocked him, while Natasha took advantage of the distraction and hid the phone from Sam. Neither one gave any thought to the number of cellphones in the room. Instead he began to tickle her, trying to get the hiding place from her. She shrieked and called for Wanda to help her, who jumped up on Sam’s back, pulling his hands away from Natasha.
Everyone was laughing, while Maria calmly walked by them and took the phone from its hiding place behind the couch, causing the other culprits to stop their actions. Maria smiled a little too sweetly as she began to dial a number from memory. Now Clint jumped up, knowing full well what she would order and disagreeing with her choice loudly.

“Guys, come on, stop,” Steve tried again, though he had trouble keeping down the chuckle that was threatening to escape his lips at the sight before him. 
Clint stood, jumping like a toddler having a fit, Natasha lay on the ground with both Sam and Wanda on top of her, Wanda still trying to pry Sam’s hands away from Nat’s sides and Maria stood calmly in the middle of it all with a smile on her face.

It didn’t matter how old everyone got, as long as nights like these would keep happening, you thought to yourself.

“Aye, Aye, Captain,” Wanda said as she reluctantly gave in to his pleas and stood up, her hand raised in mock salute. Chuckles resounded all around, not even Steve held back now and Bucky’s warm laughter rang out from behind you. You really did love these idiots.

“Wait, that has a ring to it,” Wanda exclaimed soon after, “Please tell me you made it to the rank of Captain”

“As if he wouldn’t have boasted about that if he had,” Sam countered and again everyone laughed. Steve got a little blush on his cheeks, picked up one of the pillows and threw it straight into Sam’s face. Since he was just getting up, he lost his balance and fell back on Nat who protested loudly at the weight that was suddenly on her. You patted Steve’s shoulders as laughter bubbled up and out of your throat.

“I vote pizza” you finally said, taking pity on Steve and the teasing he had opened himself up for tonight. He had mentioned he was tired and hungry, which explained his responses so well. Steve looked up at you gratefully and leaned back into the couch he was on.

“Of course!” Clint exclaimed, rolling his eyes, “You always choose pizza.”

He wasn’t wrong of course and you just shrugged with a huge grin on your face. Pizza was always, without fail, your go-to option for take out. Not only did it taste good, it was also easy to order for larger groups since you could easily adjust the toppings. That was a win-win right? 
Oh, who were you kidding, even if it wasn’t the easier option you’d still pick it every single time. It would, however, probably prohibit you from winning the take-out arguments as often as you did if it wasn’t considered an easy option by the others as well.

“It’s heaven, dude” you joked and Clint pushed you with a chuckle, causing you to slip off the armrest of the couch. You landed hard on your bum. And everyone burst out laughing. Even Bucky, who had been rather quiet up until that point. He held out a hand to help you up and you quickly took up his offer.

As soon as you stood up, you pretended to be angry but it only lasted for about a second. You couldn’t help but laugh even though you could practically feel a bruise forming on your bottom. Soon, you were laughing loudly, swallowing a whine about the sore spot.

Teasing Clint was never a good plan. He was far more witty and wicked than you ever were. And a lot faster too. Laughing loudly, you sprinted away from him through the school courtyard and around the corner of the large high school. Of course he knew the place as good as you and there was no safety in the shadows. His fast paced footsteps came rapidly close and you suppressed a giggle, trying to remain silent as you hid behind a large bush.

Unfortunately, spring wasn’t in full swing just yet and the greenery wasn’t as full as it would be in a few weeks time, making your blue coat easy to spot by your friend. You tried to get away from him again, but the heavy rainfall from earlier that week had made the ground soft and slippery. Because of this, your feet had sunken into the soil and you slipped, falling hard on your ass with a loud shriek.

Clint was out of breath from running and his laughter was nearly soundless as he doubled over next to you, holding his stomach. Your shriek had alerted the rest of your group and soon they surrounded you, all of them laughing at your muddied appearance.

You whined pathetically about your ruined clothes and complained of a painful backside. Bucky winked as he stepped forward, his hands outstretched, promising to fix it for you. You laughed loudly as he wrapped his arms around you, placing his hands firmly on your bum and moving his head down to place a kiss on your lips.

You swallowed the lump that formed in your throat at the happy memory as you carefully sat back down on the armrest of the couch. Forcing a smile back on your face, you remained silent as Natasha made the group pick between pizza or Chinese food.

After that, the calm finally returned and when the food arrived a short while later, Clint pressed play on the video that one of their cousins had made during the wedding. After all, that was the entire plan behind this little get together. A plan which had only temporarily been sidetracked by the long discussion of what to order.  Those very discussions were the reason that Natasha usually opted to cook for everyone and you were certain that she was already regretting her choice not to do so this evening.

You glanced sideways at Bucky, wondering if he had been drawn down memory lane lately. Since you heard he was coming back, it had been a rather frequent occurrence and it was turning somewhat inconvenient by now. The memories in and on itself weren’t too bad, but having them flash in front of your eyes while you were around others was slightly annoying. It was hard to fake your happiness when a much happier past was forcing itself onto your mind’s eye.

Steve seemed to sense your changing, souring mood and gently squeezed your knee, before pulling you into a side hug. This caused you to fall into his lap awkwardly and you both laughed loudly. You hugged him back tightly, before moving off the couch to sit in front of it. It seemed a safer option while you devoured the pizza that Natasha tossed on a plate for you. With your clumsiness, you might’ve fallen again and wasted your dinner. Now that would be an absolute shame. Food should never be wasted in your opinion. Especially food that tasted as good as this pizza did.

The ceremony had you in tears again as it played out on the screen; you still felt the love that the couple displayed during it. And it was filling the air again in this living room, with Natasha sitting incredibly close to Clint as he whispered in her ear, she blushed at his words and half-heartedly punched his shoulder, making him laugh. You regarded the scene with a smile and when Wanda caught your eye, you winked and she scrunched up her face in adoration in return. The married couple was simply too cute.

By the time that the screen showed fragments of the party, the atmosphere changed back to teasing again when Sam stood up and made everyone agree that he was easily the best dancer of the group. Everyone laughed and both Clint and Steve fought him over the title, while Maria sarcastically told Sam that he sure was. Her boyfriend decided to ignore her tone to fit his narrative and smiled radiantly at her. Wanda, Natasha and Maria then huddled together on the couch and told the men to hold a competition right then and there.

You ignored the entire discussion altogether though, because on the screen you could now see your dance with Bucky unfold. It took your breath away as you watched it, almost as much as it had during the actual dance. Carefully you glanced to the side again, hoping to catch Bucky’s reaction to the wedding video, but he wasn’t sitting in the chair anymore. Slightly confused you glanced around the room. When had he left? Maria caught your eye and nodded her head in the direction of the balcony. You placed your empty plate on the table and got up off the floor, walking in the direction Maria had nodded towards.

The balcony door was open and through it you could see him standing in the darkness of the evening sky, lit only by the street lights from below. He appeared to be staring blindly into the slowly darkening city. He seemed to be a million miles away, not even noticing as you came closer.

“Hey,” you said softly, not wanting to break the stillness that seemed to linger out on the balcony, “What are you doing out here?”

“Thinking,” he replied with a small shrug, not looking away from the skyline before him.

“Oh good,” you chuckled, “‘cause you don’t do that enough already,” you finished with a smile and he finally turned to face you, his face contorted in confusion.

“What do you mean??” He wondered, a smile playing on his lips. He looked so beautiful in the fading orange light of the sun that had nearly set completely, and you took a moment to take in the sight. He’d gone to the barber, his untamed long locks gone to make way for a shorter cut and his bread reduced to a five o’clock shadow. He looked really good and you could feel your heart skipping a beat. What you wouldn’t give to lean against him now and hug him close.

“You tend to overthink things, love,” you offered instead, moving closer to the railing beside him and leaning against it. He chuckled at your words, not even trying to deny them.

“How have you been?” You wondered, you haven't seen or talked to him since your conversation over a week ago. You needed some time after that, despite the fact that you didn’t even get to the nitty gritty of your problems yet. There was just so much pain between the two of you, that it simply couldn’t be addressed in one single conversation.

“Had my first meeting yesterday,” Bucky confessed a little uneasy, not looking at you.

“Oh, what was it like?” You really couldn’t imagine what it must have been like for him to even begin to unravel all the things he had been suppressing. Not only had you never gone to therapy, but you had never personally had such difficult circumstances in your life either.

He shrugged, staring at his feet. His hands had been shoved deep into his pockets as soon as you had joined him on the balcony. He took his flesh hand out now to comb his fingers through his hair and scratch at his neck. It was hard to realise just how self-conscious his prosthetic still made him. Earlier that evening you’d had some small hope that it was getting better, when he had laid it gingerly in his lap, even though most of his hands had been covered by the sleeves of his sweater.

“It was…hard,” he finally confessed in a mere whisper.

“I’m sorry, Buck,” you said, wishing that there was something to make this easier for him, for everyone really. If only you could jump through time and leave the hard parts behind you and just get to the easier part.

“She made me recount my entire medical history, my time in the army, they even touched on my childhood,” he elaborated carefully, as if his words could scare you off now.

“That’s a lot,” you weren’t sure what to say to that, “Anything surprise you?”

“No, not really. I’ve had a good life. Until…” he couldn’t finish the sentence and you didn’t press him. You knew what he meant and knew that there would be a day where he would be able to speak of it. Until then, you didn’t need to rush or pressure him. He took the first step to healing. All that was left now was to give him time.

Silence hung between you for a few minutes. Bucky clearly wasn’t ready to tell you more, though you had been surprised by his openness so far. You accepted his boundaries and decided to try and get him back inside with the rest of the group. If only to get him out of the funk he seemed to be in.

“Why don’t you come back inside?” You reached out a hand for him to take, hoping it would appear as kind to him as it was intended.

“Nah, I’m just gonna go home,” he answered after a short silence, then quickly offered you a smile. You realised he was trying to soften his words with that smile and to show him that there were no hurt feelings here, you smiled back.

“Just so you know,” you began as you moved back through the door leading inside, “it is really good to have you back.” You smiled again, turned around and left him behind on the balcony while you joined the rest of the group in the living room.

Sitting down in the chair that Bucky had vacated earlier, Wanda quickly sat down on the armrest, leaning against you. You smiled brightly at her and she hugged you close. Not long after, Bucky came inside as well, bidding everyone goodbye. Clint walked him out and Sam decided that it was too early for the night to be over. He tried to convince everyone to go out, unfortunately, at least half of the occupants in the room deadpanned him and he agreed to a movie night instead.

All too soon, another discussion broke out between Steve and Sam, one that Maria broke off by informing them that tonight was all about Natasha and Clint. Steve and Sam mentioned that they’d had their day, but it was on deaf ears. They were the minority in this conversation. Of course, Nat and Clint couldn’t agree either and you just laughed as you watched them both trying to convince the other by promising favours. Finally, Clint gave in and a movie was chosen while you helped Natasha with snacks and drinks for everyone.

By the time you had settled into a seat and the movie had begun, your phone buzzed. Lazily you leaned forward to grab it from the table, without knocking Natasha over the head with it. She had picked a spot on the floor, right in front of you and she was painting your toenails as the movie played.

‘Glad to be back’

Four words, it was all the message entailed, but it caused a huge grin to flash over your features. It wasn’t much, but it was a definite start. It felt good and you decided to enjoy the moment for as long as you could. Ignoring the enquiring looks, you locked your phone and continued to watch the movie with the smile fixed on your face.

***

Chapter thirteen

[astharoshebarvon]

vampire knight

Will this be a rant? Of sorts, maybe.

It seems now there is another discourse in VK fandom, this time about whether Ren and Ai will be a romantic couple or not. Firstly, Hino is drawing them in a suggestive way, that’s true.

Do I care if they end up together or not? Not really. She has drawn Kaname and Zero in a suggestive way many times, hell, even in recent covers Zero is literally all over Kaname. Not to mention Zero/Kaname has way more fanfictions and incredible fanarts than either of the canon straight couples. It’s true, just check it.

Think what you want, above illustration is pure Zero/Kaname and Yume.

And, in the below one, Zero’s hand...Sorry, two rivals and enemies just don’t do that.

Look at the above illustration, that’s not how two guys stand if they are enemies, they just don’t.

Secondly, both Ai and Ren have an intense need of another’s blood. Now, many people say their relationship is creepy…

Sorry, but many shoujo mangas and mainstream novels have the same crap. The girl is obsessed with the boy and also ends up with him. Yikes. Gross.

And, those stories are celebrated. So, why be against these two? Oh, wait, it’s because they are not hetero.

Hino is not doing anything great even if they do come out as a couple, Clamp has done it many times and Clamp works are way more popular than Hino’s can ever be.

X, a shoujo genre manga has Kamui and Fuuma.

They loved each other, don’t even try to argue with me about it.

Seishirou and Subaru, the most tragic couple of manga and anime are also in it. CCS has Yue with Clow Reed, Yukito/Yue and Touya, Sakura and Tomoyo, some of these feelings are one sided, but none of them are hated.

These couples are way more popular than whole VK manga. Rg Veda, another shoujo has Amaterasu and Souma, Taishakuten and Ashura-ou, Yasha and Ashura can also be interpreted as an M/M couple. Oh, wait. That’s canon. They are together in Tsubasa.

And, don’t get me started on Fai and Kurogane. There you go people, these are shonen and shoujo mangas which have same sex couples.

And, the readers know there was something going on between Fai and Kurogane even if it’s not stated explicitly.

Clamp literally said,”do not call Fuuma and Kamui brothers”. They are soulmates. They don’t even mention the obsessed fangirl, kotori.

Arina Tanemura, whose stories are a perfect example of a  fangirl ending with the guy they were after, also has a single M/M couple in one of her works. Mostly in her stories, the main girl likes one guy, but in the end, that guy never ends up with her. He ends up with one of the obsessed fangirls.

Am I still bitter about how dirty the mangaka did Itsuki Otomiya? Yes. The sweetheart doesn’t even know Haine was his daughter, and the whole bloody cast had coloured illustrations, a freaking artbook is there for the series, but not a single illustration for him. Yikes.

I hope she redeems herself and makes Tokita and Chikage a couple in 31 Ai dreams. The only series of hers which didn’t have this cliché was Sakurahime Kaden and Kamikaze Kaitou Jeanne.

And, let’s be honest, Eiichi would have have ended up with another fangirl if he wasn’t dead in Full moon. Thank god he was spared that bullshit. But, then again, he dies. That’s not good either.

Gentleman’s alliance cross, Nekota are just bad. Yes, the art is beautiful, but that doesn’t mean the males of her series deserved to end up with obsessive fangirls.

The one with underage relationship, Nekota or whatever [thank god that was never picked up by Viz.] In this, the blue haired dude, Serizawa, who the main girl liked from the beginning didn’t end up with her, he ended up with a fangirl. Ugh.

And, it is incestuous, the girl has feelings for her underage cousin.  Right.

Her art is beautiful, but damn it, her stories are so annoying.

For her only M/M couple in shinshi doumei cross, she had to make one half of the MM couple a cross dresser.

The guy, Maora was wearing woman’s clothing every time he and Maguri were shown together. He was never once shown as his real, tall self with Maguri.

And, she has said she isn’t comfortable with yaoi, but is okay with shonen ai.

Right.

But the point is, it’s been done many times.

In Hana Kimi, one of the protagonist’s elder brother is gay. He was the school’s physician if I am not wrong. So, Hino is not doing anything new.

Kyou Kara Maou is a shoujo manga, but it has Wulfrum and Yuri, two guys as a main couple. Granted, nothing happens, but they are engaged.

The manga was published in Asuka, a shoujo magazine.

Same goes for uraboku, Luka loves Yuki, regardless of the fact whether he is a female or a male. Senshirou and Kuroto were together, Hotsuma and Shusei were married in previous lives and they were very much together in the present as well.

Do I think Ren and Ai will end up together, I dunno. Maybe they will, maybe they won’t. But I don’t think she will show them as a couple. If she will, fine. If she doesn’t, then also fine. They have an intense desire to be with each other, and their relationship is not parallel to Kaname and Yuuki’s or Haruka and Juri’s.

One can say they are like Rido, Yuuki’s uncle, not like the above two couples.

There are many differences between them and the two couples.

And, let’s not forget the harem Sara created, in fact she even kissed one of the girls.

Do I care about Ren and Ai ? No.

My sole reason for reading this manga is: Yume. Just bring Yuuki back and show Yume happily ever after. I really don’t care who ends up with whom.

But some reasons regarding Renai are hypocritical. This manga has incest, why are you being bothered by it now? Hell, she drew Ichiru and Zero in suggestive way too, and Zero’s care for Ichiru could also be questioned in that case.

I am not sure if the above is Zero and Ichiru or Zero with another personality of his, I don’t want to see my artbook right now, but it can be seen as Zero and Ichiru.

We don’t like yuri and yaoi.

Well, in that case I really hope it happens so it’ll tick off the people who make this statement. Yes, it’s a derogatory statement.

If the mangaka wants to do it, she can, it’s her choice. Hate her for it, plenty do. Zekis and yumes do for their reasons. I dislike the way she does things too, I hate many things she has done. But, hey she still did them.

Read Yona of the dawn in that case, that’s the only series which isn’t “problematic”

But,  Kija and Jaeha can be shipped in that too. I do ship them. And, the author has drawn shonen ai doujinshi’s.

And, Yona was in love with Su-won in the beginning, who is her cousin. Incest is incest, whether it’s between siblings or cousins, they are family.

I really don’t think Hino will show Ren and Ai as a couple. Siblings who are weirdly close, yes. Romantic couple, I don’t think so. If I am wrong, fine.

Just give me my Yume happy ending, and Takuma and Seiren scenes. I literally don’t care about the kids relationship. I just don’t. First, I had to suffer through that traitor’s crap with the stupid bint, Sayori, now this.

Edit :  Finally I read this chapter…

I don’t understand how anyone can even compare whatever crap that is going on between Ai and Ren to Yume and Haruka / Juri. The Kuran couples never looked so fucking weird with each other.

I was absolutely right in thinking their feelings for each other are reminiscent of what Rido felt. Just because Ai is Yume’s daughter doesn’t mean she’s a perfect character. Give me a break. Then again she had a crush on Zero as well.

And, she was raised among people like Ruka and Aidou, traitors and obsessed idiots. It’s no wonder she turned out idiotic.

She looks weird when she says, “she had her sister with her” to Youko.

I am not going to post the image cause its just bad.

Yume and Haruka/Juri were never so fucking creepy. Never.

Ren is just so bland and sad in everything that I don’t know what to think. Youko was the only one who wasn’t weird in this Ch.

The author should just wrap this up, it’s neither interesting nor is evoking any feelings in readers. It’s as bad Sayori/Aidou crap. Just stop with the useless story arcs, show Kaname and Yuuki together and end this shit.

I really don’t think the two girls will end up together. Their scenes aren’t sweet, and if she wants to show them, just do it and move on. They are both boring and least interesting. They are so bad it will not matter whether are together or apart.

They are as bad as other creepily obsessed M/F couples in novels and shoujo manga where the obsessed fangirl ends with the boy. This trope itself is gross. Who even cares about them?

They are only being hyped because they are two girls. When people thought Ren was a boy there wasn’t much reaction. I know there wasn’t. But now that they are two girls…

Hate them because they are stupid, no point in saying we don’t like them because its FF relationship. That’s just bigotry. Or maybe the author should be honest and say I wanted Zero and Kaname to fuck but Yuuki kept on getting in the way. So, I decided to pair their daughters together. because according to the author incest is fine in VK.  Just drop this crap already Hino.

I mean what the hell is up with this boring arc ?

I don’t even understand why stupid shit like this is overlooked in MF couples but if same happens in same sex, everyone is like, looks its unhealthy.  Incest, age difference, obsessed idiots/ fangirls, they are all bad.

I love Clamp, but that Rika and Terada thing was just plain gross. Same goes for Rin and Sesshoumaru.

I kept on telling myself about the latter one, no they are a parent child relationship. But at one point, I had to accept it was anything but family love. I love Sesshoumaru and always will. But I can’t get behind Rin/Sessh or whatever nonsense it was. Sessrin is celebrated, it’s a fact. It’s creepy, don’t deny it.

I know some of their artists and Sesskag [yuck] kept on leaving rude comments on SessKik fanworks, my favourite ship.

And Terada/Rika thing is overlooked because, let’s be honest CCS is fucking awesome. I overlook it and concentrate on yue yukito/ touya, syaoran/sakura.

I just want this RenAi thing to go away. I can’t stand either of them. Just show Kaname and Yuuki together and end this series. Hino should wrap it up and start a new one. VK will not gain the popularity it had at one point no matter what. The author is just coming off as desperate.

[mobius-prime]

69. Knuckles the Echidna #1

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The Dark Legion (Book One): Army of Darkness

Writers: Ken Penders and Kent Taylor Pencils: Manny Galan and Andrew Pepoy Colors: Karl Bollers

We've finally come to the first long-running companion series of the comic, the Knuckles the Echidna comic! I'm really excited for this one, honestly. I've talked about it before, but I know that tons of people hate Ken Penders, not just because of the whole copyright controversy that necessitated the reboot of the series, but also just because they find his writing bland, uninteresting, contrived, etc. While I will concede that certainly some of his writing comes off as… eh, unskilled and stilted, I did still find myself enthralled by the worlds he created when given the chance to work on his own project - namely, this series. In exploring the Knuckles comic, I hope that I can at least get readers of these analyses to understand why I enjoy it so much, and what exactly I'm getting out of it, and maybe pass on some of this passion to others who didn't like this series at first, in much the same way that I've done for others concerning Sonic '06 (which anyone who knows me will know I have an unbridled passion for).

So something worth noting right off the bat, actually - this issue, and the two issues after it, were in fact not intended to be the first three issues of a side series at all! They were originally branded simply as "Knuckles: The Dark Legion," something you'll probably notice if you look at the cover. From what I've heard, the three-part miniseries was so popular that Kenders was able to continue it on in a full-blown Knuckles companion series spanning thirty-two issues, simply rebranding these original three issues as the first three issues of the companion series after the fact.

Anyway, enough rambling from me. Intro page time! This one is maybe the most cryptic and weird so far - I mean, it's relevant to the story, talking about learning from the past and that younger generations build their knowledge on the back of the older generations, which is all true, but it's a bit strange sitting at the front of a Sonic - sorry, Knuckles - comic. Either way though, it notes how Knuckles has learned from his experiences with Enerjak, and how he's about to have to face new challenges. This issue and the two after it are quite interesting, actually, since at the same time we're following Knuckles in the present, we also get another window into the past, one that begins to explain what we're seeing unfold in the here and now. Parallels are drawn between Knuckles and those of the past between panels, by their poses and backgrounds, a really cool art design choice if you ask me.

The issue begins as Knuckles' father, still secretly observing everything from his secret base, gets an alarm alerting him of a sudden, mysterious invasion of the island by someone he refers to as the "Dark Legion" (hey, title drop already!). He can't just sit by and leave Knuckles to deal with this on his own, so he sends a telepathic message to Archimedes with whom Knuckles is currently hanging out, because hey, they can apparently just perform telepathy with each other now.

Forgive me if the issue jumps around a little bit from here - it honestly flows better when you read it than when it's described secondhand. We flash back to the "council rejects Dimitri and Edmund's proposal" scene from the last miniseries, only this time, we're seeing it from a different perspective - the sons of the respective scientists, sitting in the stands to watch the proceedings. Menniker, the son of Dimitri, and Steppenwolf, son of Edmund, basically share their parents' disappointment in the council's ruling. Also, can I just say like… Penders, what's up with these names man? I mean, Steppenwolf? Archimedes? They get even weirder from here too, and like, I guess I can't judge whatever names he wants to give his own characters, but they're so weird and out of place compared to names like Knuckles and Mighty. I get you don't necessarily want to name everyone after some cheesy noun that describes an aspect of their personality, but still, how many kids reading this even knew that "Archimedes" wasn't pronounced "archie-meeds" or something? Eh, whatever.

Anyway, in the present Knuckles and Archimedes set out to investigate Archimedes' mysterious "bad feeling" (aka telepathic message from absent papa) and discover an entire army roaming the forest - soldiers in robes piloting hovercraft, robots with heat sensors, giant tanks, and they're all clearly looking for something. Flash back to the past again, and we've already jumped ahead to Edmund and the council members' escape from Mount Fate after Dimitri's supposed death. Steppenwolf is overjoyed to see his kidnapped father alive and well, but Menniker, well…

Yeah. Not such great news for him, poor kid.

Back to the present! Knuckles and Archimedes realize that the army is picking them up on their sensors, and spend some time teleporting around and darting among the trees to avoid detection, certain that being found by these guys would only spell trouble. But as tense as this is, the really interesting stuff is happening in the past. We finally get to see what exactly happened when the government tried to put into place the whole technology ban thing, after Dimitri went crazy. Apparently, while the measure did indeed get a majority vote from the populace, there are obviously people who don't want to give up their precious tech. Edmund is stuck dealing with the more stubborn individuals, but Steppenwolf has an easier time of it, visiting Menniker who only too happily hands his own stuff over. I think this scene is meant to take place like, at least a year or two, probably a little bit more, after the whole Dimitri debacle, as the cousins seem a bit older here. As we see, however, Menniker's acquiescence isn't exactly fueled by obedience to the law…

Uh oh. Don't tell me this kid is trying to follow in his father's footsteps…

In the meantime, conflict between Knuckles and Archimedes and the pursuing army becomes inevitable, as there's just no more room to hide, so they elect to take a bit more of an aggressive approach.

Archimedes, seriously? Or rather, Kenders, seriously? You don't need to use Archimedes as a mouthpiece to compliment yourself on the new catchphrase you're giving Knuckles, man. These comics are already 90s enough!

In the past, things are heating up as well. Steppenwolf has apparently started getting wind of rebellion amongst his people, and brings his fears to his father, who merely blows him off. In response, Steppenwolf takes matters into his own hands, following a shady figure in a robe to a rally, only to find an entire crowd of similarly-dressed shady echidnas who appear on the edge of revolt about the technology decision. He's spotted, and forced to make a run for his life.

In the present, Knuckles and Archimedes meet up with the rest of the Chaotix, who happily join in the fight against the mysterious army. As formidable as the Chaotix are, however, six guys are really no match for the soldiers, and they have to beat another hasty retreat. Things go about as well for Steppenwolf in the flashback, as he jacks a hovercraft from the crowd only for it to be shot down, leaving a smoking wreck in an alley, and his fate unknown…

Unfortunately, Knuckles' luck is at an end. He and the others are finally cornered by the army and taken prisoner.

However, that's not quite the end. Who exactly is leading this army, you may ask? Why, it's this handsome fella!

Oh yeah, he looks trustworthy for sure! Yeah, you probably figured it out by now (if you hadn't read these issues before that is) - these guys are the descendants of those rebels from the flashback. But considering Knuckles still believed himself to be the last - or one of the last, anyway - echidnas, where did this entire army of ancient troublemakers come from? Guess we'll have to find out…

[fortunatelylori]

Why the Jon/D*any romance doesn’t work (Part 5)

Hey, guys! This last part of my “Why the Jon/Dany romance doesn’t work” series was taken down in the great Tumblr purge and I am now reuploading it. I got a few messages from people wanting to read it and I’m really sorry it’s taken this long to get it back up again. But here it is! :)

This is actually the second part of the “More than 2 is a crowd” section of the series but since it got very, very long I split it up.

Welcome to Days of GOT, the soap-opera where your captor turns into your lover only to turn into your aunt:

The “we’re fucked but not in a good way” scene

As a general rule, I’ve decided not to take into consideration what any of the people involved in this TV show say in interviews or behind the scenes. They very willingly and intentionally mislead the audience and lie to our faces. I don’t hold it against them but I’m not going to spend my time analyzing and commenting on something that may very well be the writers screwing with me.

However, I find it very interesting that Kit Harrington said that he thought this was the scene where Jon and Dany started liking each other. Because this is, by far, the nicest, friendliest conversation they’ve ever had. It’s almost, dare I say it, human-esque.

Here, I’ll even give you some examples:

Jon: No one is less happy about this than I am.

Dany: I know. I respect what you did. Wish you hadn’t done it but I respect it.

Wow! Appreciation and respect … where have you two been for the duration of this plot?

Dany: […] We weren’t extraordinary without them (dragons). We were just like everyone else.

Jon: You’re not like everyone else.

Hello, validation! Nice to see you again, old friend.

See? Even I’ve been generalized into submission. He’s lucky he’s cute. That’s all I got to say.

Dany: I can’t have children.

Jon: Who told you that?

Dany: The witch who murdered my husband.

Jon: Has it occurred to you she might not have been a reliable source of information?

Dany, you lucky girl! You’ve just been struck by the ever elusive Jon Snow joke! Revel in it for it only comes out to play once a season.

So, all of this is very touching … I mean, I say very …. Mildly, in the near vicinity of touching. It would have been even better had this happened earlier and not in their last private conversation but at this point, beggars can’t be choosers.

However, once you strip away this veneer of friendliness, you do find some quite troubling things in this scene.

Firstly, there’s the main issue they are discussing:

Dany: This place was the beginning of the end for my family. […] A dragon is not a slave. They were terrifying, extraordinary. They filled people with wonder and awe and we locked them in here. They wasted away. They grew small and we grew small as well.

The problem with this speech is that it creates a conundrum for both the audience and Jon. Because Jon’s already heard the flip side of this particular coin, directly from his BFF, Jorah:

Missandei: Why did they build it? (the Dragonpit)

Jorah: Dragons don’t understand the difference between what is theirs and what isn’t. Land, livestock, children … Letting them roam free around the city was a problem.

So how does Jon resolve this issue? He doesn’t. He simply listens to Dany, looks around the Dragonpit and keeps his mouth shut.

Are we to understand that Jon Snow simply doesn’t care about children being burned alive because he wants Dany and her dragons to be as terrifying and awe inspiring as possible?

Isn’t it more likely to assume that Jon simply does what he’s always done in conversations with Dany, essentially keep his thoughts to himself and allow her to think whatever she wants? Which can only mean that despite their pleasantries, their dynamic is essentially the same it’s been since the cave scene. Which, by extension, means we’re just going round and round in ever increasingly polite circles.

Great! I got all excited with no rose petal covered way to go.

Then there’s this:

Dany: You were right from the beginning. If I trusted you, everything would be different.

Jon: So what now?

Dany: I can’t forget what I saw North of the wall. And I can’t pretend Cersei won’t take back half the country the moment I march North.

Remember when I said that Jon had no reason to bend the knee because Dany had already promised to help him defeat the Night King?

Tin foil hat: You know nothing, fortunatelylori!

Shut up, you!

Yes, Jon! You heard that right! A near death experience by either zombification or drowning, a dead uncle and a bent knee later and all you have to show for it is a better placement on Dany’s list of priorities. It used to be -100 before but now the goddamn apocalypse is neck and neck with Dany and Cersei’s competition for a piece of furniture. Enjoy!

The “what is fear of assassination anyway when my hormones are out of wack” scene

I could analyze every line in this scene but I prefer to cut through all the boring travel arrangements that no one paid attention to and cut to the chase:

Jorah: My queen, love of my life, end all be all of my existence, your safety is paramount to me. Please fly to Winterfell and not risk getting blood all over your pretty blond wig.

Jon: Aaa ... I mean it’s your choice, obviously, but ... would you rather fly and be safe or get on a boat and possibly have sex with me?

Dany: Sex with Jon  on a boat, definitely.

However, I will say this is a very interesting line:

Jon: It’s your decision, your Grace. But if we’re going to be allies in this war, it’s important for the Northerners to see us as allies.

It sort of feels like Jon is not giving Dany a choice at all. It’s more of a “my way or the highway” type of proposition but again Dany’s too far down the rabbit hole to notice the difference.

The “this better be good, guys! The whole of Westeros is watching” scene

I’d love to link to b0atbang here but Tumblr hates that scene as much as we do. So for your convenience, I have decided to put my considerable artistic talents to good use and I have drawn what I believe is almost an exact representation of it:

Guys, I spent almost 30 seconds in Paint doing this so please show me some love. Tread carefully, Tumblr, for you are treading on my dreams!

We started this section of the series talking about the “more than 2 is a crowd” rule so it seems only fitting that we should end with this: the most crowded sex scene since whatever porno film you watched last night.

There are 6 people involved in this scene and that’s excluding the actual two people that are having sex! Six people, most of them related to one or both Jon and Dany.

We have Jon’s mother but also Dany’s sister in law, Jon’s uncle but also adoptive father, Jon’s real father but also Dany’s brother, Jon’s brother who is actually his cousin, Jon’s best friend and also family member to the victims of Dany’s latest dracarys incident and lastly Dany’s closest adviser and also ex-husband to Jon’s sister/cousin/the current possessor of a “part of him”. This is Days of our Lives gone terribly, terribly wrong.

I don’t think I have to explain why this is romantic plot suicide. A sex scene between a romantic couple is supposed to be intimate, tender, sometimes steamy. It not supposed to be the smallest part of an elaborate montage designed to tell us that the people currently engaged in the devil’s mambo number 5, are actually related as well as de facto rivals for the Iron Throne.

A lot of people have commented on the inherent issues with the set-up of this scene, from the lack of a first kiss (an absolutely crucial part of any romantic pairing), to the lack of conversation before or after , to the horrible transition from a dying, blood soaked Lyanna to Jon and Dany in the midst of physical abandon and up to Jon’s strange expression:

Jon: I don’t think Tinder is working out for me.

What I would like to do instead is show you a scene that has quite a similar setup to this: it starts off in a bed and also includes the dreaded body flip. This is incidentally one of my favorite sex scenes. I am, of course, talking about the sex scene between Achillies and Brisies in 2004’s Troy. When I uploaded this the first time, @lostlittlesatellites  mentioned in the comments section that this film was actually written by David Benioff, which I had forgotten. So not only did the D reuse this set-up for the Jon/Dany scene but actually is well aware of the salient differences between the two scenes, since, you know, he was involved in writing both of them. Another nail in the “Ds suck at their job which is why they couldn’t write a better romance” coffin, I guess.

I would love to put this scene up here in all its glory. However, since Tumblr is a prude that can’t handle the gorgeous physique of one Brad Pitt, I can’t. Just type Achillies and Brisies into youtube because it’s a more liberated platform, incidentally with far fewer Nazis lurking around. Also here is a pic of Brad’s gorgeous abs. Tumblr, eat your heart out!

The body flip:

The body flip in the Brisies/Achilles is counterbalanced by the knife. These kinds of flips are awkward when filmed in a wide shot but the fact that she’s holding a sharp object to Achilles’ throat moves our focus towards the character’s faces and not the awkward body movement.

Focus on details:

When you watch this scene, you’ll notice that a large portion of it is Achilles pulling up her dress and slipping his hand underneath the material. That becomes a very intimate movement that, in turn, creates expectation … And expectation creates interest. It has a much slower build-up than what we get with Jon/Dany and it’s that prolonged moment that makes it sexier.

It tells a story:

This is very important. Words in scenes aren’t there just to make the writer feel important. They set the tone, the level of intensity and make the audience feel like they’re a part of it, instead of being kept at arm’s length because they don’t have access to the character’s thoughts.

The Troy sex scene is a whole story in itself: We start with Brisies trying to kill Achilles but hesitating. We have Achilles admitting he will kill more men and daring her to go through with her plan. We have him flipping her and then tentatively kiss her as she finally gives up and drops the knife to the floor. This is an intimate, character driven scene that marks the transition of these two from enemies to lovers.

That’s not to say that Jon and Dany’s scene isn’t telling a story. The difference is that the story it tells is plot driven, not character driven. What makes their scene inherently interesting are the revelations we receive about Jon and how that will affect the plot moving forward. In that sense they become secondary characters in their own sex scene, just gilded cogs in a much larger plot wheel and far from breaking it, their sex scene is advancing it. To what end, I guess we’ll find out in season 8.  

 And that’s it, you guys! Hope you enjoyed this series. I do have a few ideas on what to write next but if there’s something in particular you’d like me to cover, let me know.

In case you haven’t read the other 3 parts of the series, you can find them linked below:

Part 1: Are D&D really idiots?

Part 2: Repetition and generalization are the death of romance

Part 3: When everyone and their mother has a different take on the same line of text

Part 4: More than 2 is a crowd

PS: none of the artwork in this meta belongs to me. Except for b0atbang which is the only piece of art worth mentioning anyway and which shall be hanging in a museum near you very, very soon.

[fifi-uchiha]

Born to Live (2/?)

„So, that’s your method? Threatening a woman to marry you?” He stood right before her, closing the last bit of her well built distance as he reached out to capture her chin between his cold fingers, forcing her to look him in the eye. „I always get what I want, Sakura…” To protect Timea, Haruno Sakura builds a strong army who manages to win every war that threatens her homeland. But when the powerful hokage Uchiha Sasuke becomes interested in Timea, Sakura’s life starts falling apart as she has to accept a forced mirage with the cold hokage.However, both shinobi find out that they share a shocking past they never could’ve begun to imagine… ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: “RAYO!”

Naruto was angry. More so, the blond jinchuuriki was furious while he rushed up to a brown haired ninja with purple eyes and tanned skin, his blue eyes full of fury. Without warning and uncharacteristically harsh, Naruto grabbed him by the collar and glared at him fiercely. “How often do we have to tell you not to teach the new recruits dark jutsu’s?! There’s a reason why they are forbidden, you forgot that?!” Rayo’s eyes narrowed in disapproval, not showing any kind of fear and seemed rather unimpressed by the blond ninja’s fury. “And just who do you think you are, Uzumaki?!”, he shouted at him. The new recruits looked more than uneasy about the sudden commotion, especially since Naruto, who was known for being a really friendly person, looked absolutely dangerous.

“You know the rules, Rayo. Dark jutsu’s are not to be taught to those who weren’t born with those abilities! That’s why they are called ‘forbidden’, dattebayo-” “Just how naive are you? We live in a world of war, that’s why we need black shinobis. You know that dark jutsus are the most effective ones and without them-”

“NO. For fuck’s sake, no!”, Naruto interrupted angrily. “I don’t give a shit how powerful these jutsus are, because unlike you, the others were not born with them!” Naruto was no fool. He was aware of the fact that black jutsus are more than powerful and undeniably helpful during every fight. However, teaching them was not an option because those who learn to practice them not only lose their hearts… -They lose their very souls. And no one would dare to allow that, that’s for sure.

“Besides, what gives you the right to think that you are obligated to boss anyone around?”, Rayo hissed smugly, the look in his eyes challenging. Really, Naruto hated that guy and cursed fate for making him so strong. Rayo -no matter how much of an asshole he was- was a real enrichment for every army, a real beast who no one could defeat in a fight. That was the reason why he loved rebelling so much for he knew that he was needed here. No one would just kick him out because it would be a loss for Timea. Unfortunately. “The leader gave that order, Rayo. So stop bitching and follow the goddamn rules!” “Tche. Well then, where is the all mighty leader? If he has his so called rules, he should stop hiding and get the fuck out of his shadows and speak up.” Naruto clenched his teach in fury, his eyes flashed in a deep, warning blue. “Okay, that’s it you motherfu-” “What the hell is going on here?!” Both ninjas turned to the side and saw Sakura, Tenten and Kiba approaching the scene, all three of them more than alarmed over the loud commotion. Sakura had already noticed how angry her blond best friend was and considering that Rayo was involved, she didn’t have to think too much about what had happened. “What do you think? That bastard wants to teach his psycho-jutsus again!” “Urgh, really Rayo? Again?”, Kiba just sighed and seemed to be really annoyed by him Sakura’s eyes narrowed and the alarmed kunoichi threw him a dark, disapproving look before she started talking to the brunet. “Dark jutsus are forbidden because of their negative effects on the human body and soul, Rayo. And I’m sure you know that.”, she reminded him and didn’t realize how provoked Rayo was by her strong, warning voice. “And who do you think you are?”, he hissed harshly, annoying the pinkette. “That doesn’t matter.”, she just brushed off, fighting her boiling temper. “Stop being insistent and train the new recruits like everyone else does.” Her voice was filled with seriousness, however, out of nowhere, Rayo started laughing. He laughed spitefully and mockingly at the same time and this time it was the green eyed Haruno who felt provoked by her comrade. “Says who? You?”, he smirked sarcastically. “Don’t act so high and mighty, Pinky. Just who do you think you are?” Sakura swallowed her heavy anger, turning her small hands into shaking fists. “Why they let you be a part of the army will never cease to amuse me, really. A little woman who can’t use nin-jutsu. What a joke...” His harsh words kicked her in the gut and Sakura’s green eyes twitched before she couldn’t control her anger and acted without thinking. Before Kiba and Naruto had a chance to punch him in the face, Sakura grabbed his collar and glared at him with menacing, warning eyes that were burning from anger. “Now listen good, you fucking son of a bitch. I was a part of the army long before your small ass and I won’t take insults from such a little bitch-” She stopped in her tracks and suddenly was quite. After a few seconds, her fingers loosened and let go of the brown haired ninja who was quite shocked by her sudden, angry outburst. Sakura took a deep, really deep breath before she started talking again. “Follow the rules like every other ninja… or leave.”, she hissed calmly. “Stop thinking the whole army relies on you. You probably forgot, but I was here long before you even knew about this army, so you should stop poisoning my time with your bullshit. This was the last time, Rayo, because next time you will be kicked out and you’ll end up as a clown or as the bitch off some rich guy who has a thing for guys like you. It’s your decision and don’t think you will be missed.” To stop herself from punching him, Sakura turned around to leave this place with a proud, confident face. She needed to find a save place in the forest and take out her anger… “Take this, asshole”, Naruto grinned proudly whereas Kiba nodded approvingly. “Don’t mess with Sakura.”, he just added and was really satisfied about her speech. Tenten would’ve really loved giving that bastard a piece of her mind, however, she knew that her hotheaded best friend needed her right know. That’s why she too turned around and followed her, knowing that this incident would prolong Sakura’s process until she would finally be ready to reveal herself as the leader of Timea. Dammit..! . . Sakura was angry, absolutely enraged. Did he deserve to be punched? Yap. Would it have been the right thing to do? Definitely. Would she have felt sorry? No, not before hell freezes to an ice palace for children. However, there was one thing that basically no one knew. She was the leader. And that meant she had to learn how to tame her temper and start acting like a responsible leader, even if people like Rayo made er insane. That’s how a responsible leader should behave, even if the army was ignorant to that fact. “Sakura!” Hearing Tenten’s voice, the kunoichi smiled immediately and felt better when the brunette put her hand on her shoulder. “Hey. Don’t listen to that idiot. We both know he has no idea what he’s talking about.”, she begun seriously while Sakura just looked… exhausted. “I know...”, the 22 year old sighed sadly, looking up to watch the clear blue sky. “But… Comments like those is what I’m afraid of so much, Tenten. As much of a bastard he is, what he said was the truth. If they find out that I’m the leader, they will not only refuse to respect or even accept me, they will surely laugh at me and-” “Rayo is an idiot and you know it. Just because his intelligence is clearly not evolved doesn’t mean that the whole army is that retarded.”, her friend calmly interrupted. “Stay strong, okay? Don’t let that Rayo get to you, that’s exactly what he wants.” That, Sakura knew but it didn’t ease her discomfort and nervousness. “Thank you, Tenten. For everything.”, she then smiled, holding her hands. “You don’t know how much I appreciate everything you do for me. As long as Ino, Naruto, Kiba, Kakashi Sensei, Rin Sensei and you stay with me… there won’t be anything I couldn’t handle.” Tenten really was something special. The 23 year old kunoichi came from a rich clan and lived with her cousin Kiba and her parents in a gigantic house. Starting as a little girl, the brunette found interest in weapons and fighting and she was allowed to be trained until she became an excellent shinobi. She was drawn to weapons, nin-jutsu and tai-jutsu and lived a seemingly perfect life that allowed her to practice that passion of hers. Her parents were distant people, a little cold and disinterested. But that didn’t really bother Tenten for she had her cousin Kiba who was adopted by her parents when he was a baby.

They weren’t related by blood but it never mattered to her. She always loved Kiba, no matter what happened. But Tenten hadn’t been aware of how poor Timea’s condition was. She never knew how cruel reality looked like behind the giant walls that covered their home until that day. The day that changed her and Kiba’s life forever… . . . That day started totally normal and Tenten kept herself busy by cleaning her weapons after her match with her 17 year old cousin when suddenly, out of nowhere, a loud explosion shook the very earth under their home. “What the hell..?!” She immediately rushed to the window and hated how her home was shielded by those godforsaken walls but when she saw the dark, thick smoke, Tenten’s eyes widened. And then the screams of terror followed. Without even wasting one single thought, Tenten took her ninja tools and ran out of her room to the lobby where she was aiming for the door. Kiba was already there, leaning against the wall beside the door while his arms were crossed over his chest while his sword was practically waiting beside him He shared her feelings and knew that it was only a matter of time until they would go out and help those people. “What the hell is going on there?!”, the young kunoichi shouted upset, her voice loud and demanding whereas she earned dry looks from her parents and butlers. “The village is being attacked by three criminals, Tenten-sama.”, one of the maids answered. “WHAT?”, she shrieked angered and shocked at the same time and then opened the door. “And why is everyone sitting here instead of helping to fight them?! The villagers are no fighters-” “Because it is none of our business.” Tenten stood still by those words, looking at her black haired father without finding any sympathy in his dark brown eyes. The 17 year old kunoichi was going to say something inexcusable but was interrupted by horrified screams. “PLEASE! HELP US!” “THEY ARE SLAUGHTERING US, PLEASE!” “HEEEEEEEEEELP!” “WHY don’t you let them enter at least?!”, she hissed at her parents. Not fighting the deadly trio was one thing, but denying those civilians safety was a new dimension of evil. Why didn’t her parents at least try to save them? “The attack doesn’t concern us, honey.”, her mother just replied. “We can’t take the risk and let those people-” “People, mother.”, Tenten underlined. “People, humans are just about to lose their lifes! And while they are being slaughtered, you guys decide to just sit here and do nothing?!” Seeing her strong and burning eyes, Kiba just closed his eyes and smirked proudly. “Watch your tongue, young lady!”, her father warned loudly. “’Watch my tongue’..?” Tenten couldn’t believe her ears, her face was grimacing from all those disgusted feelings she now harbored for her so called parents. “My tongue couldn’t even begin to explain my resentment for you. You all disgust me.”, she barked disappointed and turned around to leave her home. “Kiba?” She looked at her cousin who had just quietly watched the scene before him. Kiba was an adopted son who might lost his real parents, but was able to find a new family. He was thankful for being a part of this family and even though he loved his adoptive parents, he shared Tenten’s opinion. She was his dearest friend and his sister. Nothing in this world would keep him away from her, no matter what. “Are you coming?” A grin touched his lips when she asked him that. “I was just waiting for you, dear cousin.” “If you dare leave this place, you don’t need to return.”, their father snarled. The brunette turned around to look at their parents, her eyes disappointed and bitter. However, she made her decision and knew she wouldn’t regret it. “Farewell, Mother and Father...” . . . Kiba and Tenten showed no fear when they fought the attackers who were indeed very powerful, but no match for the two ninjas. It was this moment that made them realize how rotten Timea was, how dangerous it became to live here as a normal civilian. How was that even possible? Why could it be that no politics, no rules and no leaders were part of this land? Tenten and Kiba had enough and decided to fight for their homeland, fearing that one day Timea will be doomed by it’s own incapability of being strong. It was Kiba who had met Naruto while he was buying something to eat. The fox ninja seemed to be really nice and started talking about Sakura’s and his plan and never realized how curious Kiba became who shared his idea of an ideal homeland. They formed their own group and started taking missions to protect Timea and stop smaller attacks. Kiba was a man who held contact to many people and after a few weeks, he heard of the copy ninja Hatake Kakashi and started looking for him. The jounin was known and feared for this strength and due to the fact that he stopped being a sensei to others, they hoped he would want to join them. Their plan had worked. The silver haired jounin was fascinated by the idea of an own army for he had been part of the first one leaded by Sakura’s parents many years ago. Exciting nostalgia took over him as Rin and him decided to try again and it was more than convenient that they both held contact with many shinobi from back then who would still want to fight. A knock-on effect took it’s course and within a few years, Timea’s army was formed almost too fast… . . .

“Sakura, Tenten, what are you two doing here?” A relaxed, masked ninja approached the two girls, holding his beloved book in his left hand. “Kakashi Sensei.”, they acknowledged, smiling about the ninja. “Didn’t you want to teach nin-jutsu to group C?” “Indeed, Sakura. I showed them the basics. Mastering them however is something they have to do their selves.” “Oh, come on. You just wanted to read those porn books of yours, Sensei.”, Tenten just said knowingly. Kakashi’s eyes turned into little half moons, the only clue that he smiled coyly under his mask about the brunettes little remark. “You call it porn, I call it exclusive literature for adults, my beloved student.”, he just said. “Something children like you two can’t understand, Tenten.” Both kunoichis shook their head and laughed about his laid back personality only people close to him were allowed to see. “However, I couldn’t help but taking notice your… conversation.”, the jounin mentioned, who put his book into his pocked to talk to them. “You know how I think about this, Sakura. Be proud of yourself and keep your promise not for us, but for yourself. It doesn’t have to happen tomorrow but you shouldn’t let Rayo influence your decision.” The jounin sounded assuring, as if he just… knew what she was feeling. “Rayo’s hostility sure is complicate to deal with but this his how life works. There will be people like him who will try to break you, but I wouldn’t generalize his behavior. There isn’t a single human being who is loved by everyone and trust me, I know what I’m talking about. The only important thing is how you deal with that.” Tenten was impressed by his wise words and nodded approvingly. “That’s right. Look at Kakashi Sensei, Sakura. His bored, relaxed ass doesn’t give a damn about what others think about him and he’s more than happy.”, she smiled and petted his head, praising him for this character trait. “Hm… I guess I should just take the compliment.” The jounin said everything he wanted and took the Icha Icha paradise from his bag, waved his hand and left the two kunoichis again, needing time to read this interesting novel. “Really, I love this guy.”, Tenten laughed whereas Sakura smiled softy at the leaving ninja. “Yeah.”, she agreed. “Me too...” . . . ……………………………………….………………………………………………….. In his big throne room, Uchiha Sasuke stood by the round window and looked at the image of Konoha-gakure which was known for being strong and wealthy with a hokage who would make sure it would stay this way. The hokage had raven black hair and onyx eyes that seemed blank and cold, giving no access to anyone who would try to look at his soul. Sasuke was a reckless, cold person who became the hokage four years ago. His parents died too early and the Uchiha, who was trained since he was a kid, took their place and promised to always protect Konoha at any cost. The 23 year old was a natural leader who didn’t only keep political stability, but also won every single war. Konoha never lost a fight. Never. He made sure of that. His army only consisted of the best of the best, only shinobi with excellent abilities were able to be a part of it. Him included. “Sasuke-sama.” The hokage blinked as he heard the voice of one of his best shinobi, Hyuuga Neji. Neji was an exceptional ninja, a genius who was dependable and an enrichment for his army and one of the few people Sasuke really respected. His hair was dark brown, a real contrast to his pale eyes which were a great weapon for the Hyuuga. Like Sasuke, Neji was more of a calm, collected person which probably was the reason why they got along in the first place. “The mission was a success.”, Neji informed him with a calm voice. “Good.”, Sasuke answered simply. “Tell me exactly what happened.” Neji nodded and folded his arms as he started talking about Timea-gakure. “Timea won another battle.”, he begun whereas Sasukes raised his eyebrows at him. “Timea you say?”, he asked. “Are you sure? Just a few yeas ago, this land was nothing but a pathetic mess and just about to be occupied completely. They didn’t even have an army, much less a leader, so how did they manage to beat Oto-gakure?” Of course, Sasuke had heard the rumors about Timea’s growing power, however, he just considered them as what they were. Simple rumors.

But when he heard about the upcoming battle between Oto-gakure and Timea, he couldn’t keep his ignorance and sent Neji and Shisui to gain information. And indeed, the rumors were true. Timea won. “As it seems, the leader of Timea isn’t just a powerful, capable ninja, he also built the army and trains the recruits. The villagers have hope, the entire land seems to be full of life again.” Sasuke nodded understandingly, sitting on this throne as he thought about this for a few seconds. “You don’t say.”, he replied dryly. “And what might be the name of that great leader?” It’s almost impossible to believe a man could be this strong… “Unfortunately, we weren’t able to find him.”, Neji admitted shamefully whereas Sasuke looked indignant. “It seems like not even the recruits know the true identity of him. His face is a secret to everyone and he only acts from the shadows and refuses to expose himself.” Hearing this information, Sasuke’s eyes narrowed in disapproval. He refused to show himself? Was he too proud? Or was he just being a coward? “What a modest man, really.”, he commented dryly. “Who would have thought that such a pathetic village like Timea would become so powerful?” Really interesting, Sasuke thought. Neji eyed the Uchiha, tried to read him and had an idea what the hokage was up to. “What do you want to do, Sasuke-sama?” The black haired ninja was thinking about something, his dark eyes calculating as Neji waited for bis answer. Suddenly, the corner of his moth twitched and Sasuke smirked darkly. “I think we should put an end to Timea’s great history.”, he finally spoke. “Their land is powerful enough to be occupied by us, don’t you think?” Sasuke sounded sarcastic and cold as he spoke, showing no sympathy at all. “It’s about time to expand Konoha and our army, Neji.” Sasuke’s smirk widened devilishly and Neji knew exactly what kind of plan Sasuke had in mind… . . . ………………………………………...………………………..……….. “Hey Rayo.” The brown haired ninja was leaning against a tree as two jounins came to him. “Zoe. Takuya.”, he greeted plainly, not giving them too much attention. “Dude, we need to help the new recruits. Come on, everyone’s waiting for you.” Takuya was a little annoyed by his indifference, but still didn’t want to start another fight. “Takuya’s right, Rayo. Come on, two days passed since your argument with Sakura and Naruto, get over it and stop pouting.” Rayo’s purple eyes narrowed when he heard the names of the people he hated most. “Speaking of, what exactly happened? Why do you always have to provoke fights? We know you’re not quite happy with this army, but we still share one dream. Just what’s wrong with you?”, Zoe asked worriedly without trying to anger him. “This army is a fucking joke.”, Rayo then spitted. “There’s absolutely no structure here. The oh so great leader doesn’t do shit and because he’s not around, some maggots think they have the right to boss me around.” His fists were shaking in fury when he remembered the look on their smug faces. “Our dream was to empower our home, wasn’t it? But nothing has changed at all. We’re still small and weak and the leader does nothing to help Timea getting bigger!” “Rayo, to make our village bigger, we’d have to attack others, do you realize that?”, Zoe reminded him, sounding a little alarmed. “She’s right, you know. We all wanted Timea to be strong again, to keep it alive and safe so we can live a peaceful life. We are safe and happy, isn’t that enough?” “No, it’s not!”, Rayo barked aggressively. “No one understands that we are still considered as weak. Timea is still weak inside and yes, we should be more offensive and attack the others to gain power! Every other village does that. Just look at Hermos and Konoha! You don’t see them acting like little bitches without any guts in the first place!”, he spat angrily whereas Takuya and Zoe sighed heavily. “And that fucking leader is the biggest joke! Why do we even have to follow orders from a man who doesn’t find it necessary to come out! Does he think he’s too good for us?!” That was the only logical reason to Rayo. “I see, you need more time to calm down...”, Zoe said a little overwhelmed. “We’ll see you later. You know where you can find us.” Rayo refused to look at them and didn’t say anything when they left, thinking about his annoying situation. All this fuss about this damn leader was angering him to no end. It just didn’t make any sense that he never showed his face and Rayo had the feeling that there must’ve been a reason for it. Something was… off. It was a secret that he would find out eventually. He was done being patient and would to anything to reveal that guy’s true identity… . . . ….……..……..…..…..……..….…....……..…..….…….……………….

“Hello Mama. Hey Papa.” On a lonely flower field before two round, self made grave stones, a young kunoichi greeted her parents. Her parents whom she had to bury herself in the age of 10. A calm, sad smile touched her lips after she had cleaned their graves and decorated the place with pink and white flowers, feeling somehow peaceful when she was finished. “I hope you didn’t miss me too much.”, she apologized quietly. “I was really busy because we needed to train for a battle. And guess what- We won!” And then she started talking about everything that happened in those last, stressful weeks even though she wasn’t sure if her parents were able to actually hear her. “My tai-jutsu is near perfect and it’s really helpful I created my own style. I’m… My team makes me really happy and I love how Timea turned out after so many horrible years. We build cottages and market places and I really feel like your dream finally came true.” The smile on her lips became even more honest. “Soon, you will be proud of Timea, Mama and Papa.” One single tear dropped to the ground, but Sakura took a deep breath and hold more them back. She missed her parents so horribly much and yearned for their hugs and love, it really hurt her. Her heart clenched and her lips shook while she thought about her fathers big, silly grin and her mothers calm and beautiful smile but still, she felt home like this. To her, her parents were the most beautiful persons in the world who always made her laugh and showered her with love, so much, that it still reached her even after their deaths. If only she had been as strong as she was now. If only her parents hadn’t been so exhausted… No. No, she couldn’t let herself be consumed by those what-if scenarios for they were neither helpful nor healthy. Her parents died by protecting their homeland and daughter and Sakura was proud of them, she was thankful for everything they did. She accepted it because otherwise, she would turn into a mad mess. “I love you so much...”, she whispered against the soft breeze that dried her tears like her mother had years ago. “And I promise you… I will protect Timea and honor your efforts, not matter what it takes.” Her voice was steady again, full of confidence and strength for she knew that tears would never help her. Timea and her team needed her. That’s all that counted for Sakura… . . “Sakura?” The leader of Timea immediately smiled and softly touched the grave stones before she turned around and crossed her arms with Naruto’s who was waiting for her. “We should go before sun sets, dattebayo…” “Yeah. You’re right.” With a calm, content smile the two best friends walked together without speaking a single word. That’s how they dealt with everything after they visited their parent’s graves. But no matter how sad and helpless they might felt, Sakura and Naruto had found each other and even more comrades who made them more than happy. They lost their parents but fate gifted them with a new family. And that was more than enough. . . . When they arrived at their resting place, Naruto and Sakura blinked a little confused. It was dark already but not only were they able to see the unreadable faces of 30 shinobi who stood behind Ino, Kiba, Tenten and Kakashi Sensei, the whole atmosphere seemed… dark. Much darker than the sky right now. They were quite. Too quite. No one spoke a single word but what Sakura realized was how… troubled they looked. Yeah, every single one of them looked troubled, unsure, almost… Devastated. As if something horrible happened. “Uh… guys, what happened..?”, Sakura carefully asked who already felt a heavy, disgusting push against her gut. Sakura’s heartbeat quickened, her breathing hitched and cold sweat covered her pale face even though she didn’t exactly know what had happened. “You all look like the world is gonna end, dattebayo...”, Naruto added nervously laughing, sharing a sorrowful look with the pinkette. It was Kakashi who took the first steps and approached the duo before he handed Sakura a scroll which had been opened before. And still, no one spoke a single word. A needle could’ve dropped and literally everyone would’ve been able to hear it… However, Sakura swallowed the thick lump in her dry throat and opened the heavy scroll and started reading immediately… She read and read and read, repeated hat act for at least fifty times before it hit her. No, it literally punched Sakura who felt an explosion banging inside her body after she realized the words she just took in. Her eyes widened in shock, absolute terror darkened her pale face and for a moment the leader thought she would collapse. Shock, disbelief, devastation, desperation, fear, anger- So many emotions raged inside her even though she tried to fight it. Because this couldn’t be true. No. It must be an illusion, a gen-jutsu, a sick, disgusting joke- No. No… NO! Everything, EVERYTHING but THIS! Her paralyzed eyes met Kakashi’s who didn’t look as relaxed as he usually did. This horrible massage shocked even the great copy ninja who had never felt so stressed before because this massage would change everything. Sakura’s shock stuck so deep that she could not form the right words. She just couldn’t, it felt like her body was frozen without having the ability to get free from that sudden shock. It was Yamanaka Ino who broke the heavy, sickening silence and found the only words to officially explain what horrible incident happened that would silence them all. . . . “Konoha-gakure declared war on Timea.” . . .

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Well helloooo! I’m sorry, this fanfic is not that spectacular right now but I promise, you won’t be disappointed :D It’s still so weird to start over, ya know. I mean, I already published 76 chapters and saw my characters developing and doing things without asking for my permission lol However, be prepared. I will only take six more chapters until Sasuke and Sakura meet. And guys, don’t forget. Sasuke and basically everyone is OOC in this fanfic but I have the feeling that you’re gonna like it ;D Thanks for your support <3

Fifi-Uchiha PS: Little tip. Why do you think did I call this fanfiction ‘born to live’? There is a reason and if you find the answer out, you’ll probably know what’s going to happen hehe

[anonymouswriter2311]

Badge’s and Barmaid’s, Chapter 17

AO3 Link

Charity wasn't one for helping out others. In fact, she made a point to avoid it at all costs. But on the morning of the skills auction, the bumbling blonde found herself organizing paddles, allocating numbers and overseeing the food. It wasn’t cause she particularly cared about the auction - even though Leo was technically family – it was more that she just found the need to busy herself out of an uncharacteristic nervousness that had been plaguing her for the last few weeks. The cause was quite obvious, Vanessa. Ever since they started this little back and forth, Charity had been a haven of nervousness. Her palms would start to sweat at the thought of the blonde, and any time Charity would catch a small glimpse of her, her heart beat a mile-a-minute. These reactions, they were so new to Charity. Sure, she’d had crushes in the past, especially during her limited schoolgirl years. But after being thrust into adulthood, she couldn’t understand where these reactions were coming from; and more importantly, she didn’t know what they meant. She wanted Vanessa, this was much was obvious, but to what extent? Did she want a few glorious, hot, steamy nights together? Or something more…a relationship? Hand holding, goodbye kisses, cuddles on the sofa, ‘How was your day babe? Charity, like always didn’t have all the answers and she was afraid to even approach what the possible outcome of them being together would be. There was a lot at stake, her family, her reputation…and Vanessa. Either she’d lose out on an amazing, feisty woman that makes her heart race with a mere glance…or she’d become the black sheep of the family – once again – Charity didn’t know what to do, or where Vanessa stood on this whole situation. They needed to have a proper talk, the kind that Charity despised, but first, Charity had an auction to win.

 The pub was buzzing with excitement by lunchtime, and the turn out had shocked the blonde barmaid. Local business owners, a bunch of regulars, Vanessa Dad, some members of her own family, all scattered around the pub, ready to bid on the long line up skilled members of the community. But Charity couldn’t care less if Pete Barton was offering up his handy service, or if the new school principal was doing a spot of tutoring. She had her sights set on the cute blonde, with an unusual knitting talent, and she was going home empty-handed.

 “Pint?” Charity blurted out as soon as Vanessa was in earshot. The DI froze as the gravelly voice reached her ears, and slowly she turned to face the smiling blonde she had been avoiding for the last few days. “On the house, yeah?” Charity asked again, now that she had Vanessa’s attention and quickly began to pull a pint of her favourite larger before she could object.

 “Thank you…but I’m still on shift.” Vanessa smiled apologetically while moving her yellow raincoat to the side to reveal her gun and badge secured to her hip.

 “Rhona bringing in the big guns?” The blonde joked sadly as she put the fresh pint to one side.

 “Oh yes. Got the whole of Hotten police on standby and everything.” The smaller woman joked with ease, as she hopped onto the bar stool in front of Charity. “I’ll take an orange juice please.” She nodded sharply while playing with the bar mat and avoiding any eye contact with the blonde. The tension between the two was thick and suffocating. Vanessa wanted to talk about things, but she knew Charity well enough by now and guessed that all she would get is snappy, sarcastic remarks in response if she even dared to touch on the subject of their pending relationship.

 “How have you been? Johnny alright?” Charity asked nonchalantly as she poured, trying to create the illusion that she didn’t really care, in case anyone was listening in on their conversation.

 “He’s good. Made a new friend at nursery bless him.” Vanessa smiled softly, wondering how Charity would react to the interesting news her son filled her in on the night before. “Little boy called Moses.” She finished, studying the barmaid’s reaction carefully. Surprisingly so, Charity couldn’t fight the smile creeping onto her face when she heard that her son had finally made a new friend.

 “You’re kidding?” She gasped as she placed the orange juice in front of the blonde, before leaning on the beer tap as she waited to hear all the sordid details that she had missed out on with it being Ross’ night with Moses last night.

 “Nope. Came skipping in yesterday to tell me all about it.” The DI watched a wave of relief wash over the barmaid, and for once the blonde looked genuinely happy.

 “That’s a relief.” Charity let out a shaky sigh, before lowering her voice slightly and leaning towards Vanessa. “Moses, he’s a shy boy. Had a real hard time making friends, so I’m glad that him and Johnny are getting along.” She informed the smaller woman with a shy smile, her whole face lighting up as she talked about her son.

 “Me too.”

 “We should have a playdate, bring them to the park or something?” She suggested excitedly, seeing this newly found friendship between their son’s, as the perfect excuse to spend more time with Vanessa.

 “Yeah, we’ll set something up.” Vanessa nodded along, glad that Johnny was finally settling in. The two sat in silence, their hands lay mindlessly on the bar millimetres apart, longing to be joined once again, but neither willing to take the risk. The pub was full to the brim of nosey neighbours and even nosier relatives, making the scene much to public for Charity’s liking.

 “Ness, can you help me with something?” Rhona called out from her place on the make-shift stage, decorated simply by Charity. The shy smile plastered on the barmaid’s face was quick to vanish as Vanessa waved back to Rhona, telling her she’d be over in a second.

 “And that’s my cue to get back to work.” The DI sighed and jumped off the barstool. She had actually enjoyed her limited time with Charity, and a small part of her wished that she hadn’t let the blonde’s comment get to her.

 “Hey, umm.” Charity called out as Vanessa tried to walk away from the bar. “What do I get if I win?” She smirked playfully while biting her lip in anticipation.

 “I’m sorry?”

 “The auction DI Sunshine.” She rolled her eyes in amusement, completely infatuated by the shorter blonde. “What do I get if I win Hotten’s finest?”

 “The same thing as anyone else Charity. A knitting lesson.” The DI shot back a sad smile before turning on her heel and walking over to Rhona. She missed this part the most, their friendly banter and cheeky flirting. It had been the best part of her day for weeks, and now she couldn’t help but feel her heart sink as she thought back on all the cheeky winks and devious smirks. They could have been perfect together, or at least great. But now all they would ever be was meaningless flirting across the pub.

 “Ouch.” Chas’ voice cut through the barmaid like a knife. She knew that she had struck out with Vanessa once again, only this time she had a much larger audience.

 “How long have you been listening?” Charity cringed as she turned to face her smirking cousin.

 “Not long.” The younger woman smiled boldly as she strutted over to the mortified blonde. “Glad Moses has made a wee friend though.” She added with a wink and small hip bump. It had been quite the entertaining encounter, Chas not used to seeing her man-eating cousin strikeout.

 “How would you like it if I were to listen in on your conversations with Paddy?” The taller woman snapped, not in the mood for getting the mick taken out of her by anyone, especially her family.

 “Listen all you like.”

 “Nah, can’t afford the therapy sessions.” A shiver of discomfort and disgust ran through her body. The walls of the Woolpack were thin, and Charity had already heard more than enough to scar her for life.

 “So, you gonna bid on her then?” Chas asked through her own laughter as she watched Charity stare out into the pub crowd, her eyes firmly fixed on the blonde detective.

 “That’s the plan.” Charity nodded slowly as she bit down on her lip, her gaze never leaving Vanessa. “We need to talk, and every time I try, I always seem to put my foot in my mouth and make her angry.” She explained to the curious brunette, a slight sadness very present in her tone. This side of Charity was refreshing to the pub owner, she was so used to the sarcastic, vindictive and cruel blonde, but ever since Vanessa came into her life she’s been different. She’s nicer, more helpful, she doesn’t snap so easily, and she’s even trying to better herself as a Mother. Chas couldn’t help but smile as she watched the subtle changes come to play, and while she didn’t know if it was just Charity’s need to impress Vanessa driving the changes, she was still thankful for the blonde and hoped that things would work out between them for everyone’s sake.

 “How is winning an auction going to stop that from happening?” Chas quipped while watching Vanessa over Charity’s shoulder, she could definitely see what had drawn her cousin in, Vanessa is a very beautiful woman, in a plain-ish sort of way and from what Chas had seen, Vanessa could hold her own when it came to Charity, which was always a good thing.

 “It won’t. But, she also won’t be able to walk away so easily.” The blonde pointed out before turning and walking right into the brunette, who she didn’t know was behind her.

 “Gonna tie her up with her wool?” The pub owner joked as she found her footing once again, and shot a warning glance to any punters that may have been watching.

 “Why do I even bother?” Charity shook her head, before heading out back to see if Marlon had any food orders that needed to be served before the auction began.

 “Because you love me!” Chas shouted after her, nothing but supportive playfulness laced in her voice.

 “Yeah righ-” Charity shouted back before catching a glimpse of a certain teenager that was meant to be in school. “Noah! What the hell do you think you’re doing here?” She shouted at the young man whose arms were full of stolen crisps packets and a few bottles of lemonade from the cellar.

 “Half day.” Noah shrugged with a weak smile, hoping that his Mum would buy the pathetic excuse.

 “Oh really? And how about I go and ask your principal out there?” She smirked back, as she watched Noah turn as white as a ghost. “Back to school. Now!” She demanded while pushing him back into the living room, and throwing all but one packet of crisps and lemonade bottle onto the sofa.

 “I wanna watch the auction, please Mum,” Noah begged, but he knew that there was no hope as Charity continued to push him towards the back door of the small home.

 “Noah, school is important. You can’t keep bunking off all the time.” Charity warned as she draped a loving arm over the young boy's shoulder, hating the soft frown that played on his lips, but she knew that she was right on this occasion and no amount of frowning was going to change that.

 “You never went to school.” He shot back, his usual teenage angst seeping into every word as he avoided any eye contact with his Mum.

 “And I regret that so much Noah.” She snorted, the painful memories of her youth attacking her mind momentarily before she quickly locked them away once again. “I wish I had half of your brains.” She gently ruffled his short hair, laughing slightly as he tried and failed to escape her clutches.

 “Must come from the Tate side.” Charity froze as the sting of Joseph Tate’s voice danced through the air. The blonde quickly began to feel her blood start to boil, as she turned to lay her eyes on his disgusting rich boy smirk. “Hey, I’m Joe.” He looked right through Charity and directly at Noah, the predatory glare intensifying as he moved closer, followed by his two lap-dogs Graham and Ross.

 “Don’t you dare come near him, in fact, don’t even look at him.” Charity stood in front of her son, ready to pounce on the jerk in front of her if he so much as took one more step towards Noah.

 “Feisty, feisty.” Joe chuckled, his arrogant smirk fading slightly as he stopped a few feet away. “I just want to have a chat with Noah. Surely that’s not too much to ask for?”

 “Get to school Noah.” The blonde ignored the man and instead turned around to face her curious son, praying that he would listen to her for once.

 “But-” Noah tried to argue back, part of him wanting to get to know his brother and learn about his Dad’s side of the family.

 “Now Noah.” His Mother warned forcefully, effectively getting her point across to her son. “We’ll talk when you get home.” She nodded a little softer than before, as the grumpy teenager set off.

 “Sorry…” Noah whispered to his half-brother as he passed, not daring to stop out of fear for what his Mum might do.

 “See, he talked to me and the world didn’t end. Why are you fighting me on this?” Joe smirked once Noah was well out of earshot.  “He’s my little brother. I have a right to get to know him.” He added while taking a few steps towards the furious blonde.  

 “Over my dead body!” Charity spat at him, daring him to come closer so she could finish him off once and for all.

 “Name a time and a place. I can have that arranged for you.” He shot right back, the mutual feeling of hatred boiling over between them.

 “Is that a threat? Because there is a copper in there, that I’ll happily bring out here.” She smirked, her heart racing as she thought of Vanessa coming to her aid once again and wiping that smug look from his face.

 “Let me guess. Detective Inspector Woodfield?” Joe shot back at her, curious as to the hold Charity seemed to have over the new Detective. “I’m getting tired of her constant harassment. Maybe another call to her boss is in order.”

 “Leave her out of this. Do you not think that you’ve destroyed enough lives around here?” Charity warned almost instantly, her need to protect Vanessa seeping out.

 “No. Not yet.” He clicked his tongue against his teeth, before sending Ross and Graham a fleeting look, informing them that it was time to go. “See you around Charity.” He shouted over his shoulder, as the trio headed back to the car, Joe extremely happy with the progress he had made.

 Charity’s heart tightened as she watched Joe drive off down the road. She wished that she could whisk Noah away from all this, and especially from the Tate’s. He deserved better in life, and Charity knew that no good would come from Noah getting to know his half-brother, no matter how much he wanted too. He was a Dingle and had more than enough family already, he didn’t need anymore.

 Her head was reeling as she stalked back into the pub that was sizzling with excitement, the auction was well underway. Charity’s leisurely walk, quickly turned into a panicked run as she feared she was going to miss her chance to bid on Vanessa. “And that’s £50 for world-class knitting session, going once, twice, sold to Rishi.” Rhona’s voice declared Charity’s fear as she stepped back into the pub and watched Vanessa step down from the small stage. She was too late, and the £100 in her pocket - that she had collected from tips over the last few days - suddenly weighed down on her even more.

 “You have got to be kidding me.” Charity swore under her breathe, catching the attention of her cousin.

 “Where the hell did you go? I tried to bid, but I didn’t know what your limit was.” Chas quickly approached her, as she spoke in a hushed whisper.

 “I had to deal with Noah.” The blonde spoke defeatedly as she watched Vanessa chat to Marlon and Paddy happily, “Great…just great.” She muttered, mentally cursing herself for getting sucked into Joe’s trap and missing out on her chance to show Vanessa she cared.

 Charity sat at the bar defeatedly for the rest of the auction, not tempted once to put her hand in her pocket and bid on anyone else. She watched along as people drank and laughed together. She watched Vanessa be chatted up by randoms and wished she had the nerve to walk over and make it known to everyone that she was hers. By the time the usual lunch was over, the pub was slowly starting to empty, and Charity took this as her opportunity to try again with Vanessa.

 “Vanessa, wait a sec.” Charity called out, catching the blonde as she was about to exit the pub.

 “I have to get back to work Charity.” Vanessa rolled her eyes in annoyance, letting the fact that Charity was nowhere to be seen during her auction get to her.

 “I wanted to bid on you,” The taller woman tried to reassure her once she saw the look of hurt flash across Vanessa’s face.

 “Let me guess, knitting didn’t fit with your whole ‘bad girl’ thing you’ve got going on?” The DI snapped before giving Charity the chance to explain herself, afraid that she was going to be hurt by what she had to say. “I don’t have time for all this back and forth Charity.”

 “And I do?”

 “Seems like it.” Vanessa shrugged. “Look, I like you Charity…and I wanted to see where this could go. But I’m not hanging around for someone who is just looking for a good time. So once you’ve figured out what you want, let me know, until then…I’ve got to get back to work.” She forced a sweet smile onto her face, feeling slightly bad for avoiding all of Charity’s calls and texts over the last few days. She knew that avoiding the blonde wasn’t going to solve the festering problem that plagued Vanessa’s mind, but it did give her some time to think things over. And truthfully she missed the thrill that raced through her body when she was around Charity. Things with her were new and exciting, just what the DI craved in her life. She wanted things to work out between them, but she wasn’t in the business for playing whatever game Charity had her sights set on, no matter how much she craved her. So instead of waiting for a response, she turned on her heel and exited the pub.

 “I want Vanessa.” Charity stormed over to Rhona as soon as Vanessa left the pub. She was done with whatever messed up game was going on between them, and she was going to make Vanessa hear her out whether she liked it or not. But first, she needed a little bit of help.

 “I feel like this is the type of conversation that you should be having with Vanessa.” Rhona looked up from her clipboard worrisomely, not interested in getting in the middle of Charity and Vanessa’s relationship anymore, especially when she had much more pressing things to worry about.

 “I wanted to bid on her.” The blonde rolled her eyes, before shooting the brunette a pleading glance.

 “So why didn’t you?” The vet asked directly. She knew that Charity disappearing before the auction had bothered Vanessa.

 “I got called away by Noah. I’ll give you twice what Rishi paid.” Charity offered, hoping that Rhona would take her generous offer.

 “What’s your deal here Charity? Why are you going through this much effort just to blow it again?” Rhona asked bluntly, the barmaid seriously starting to get on her nerves when it came to Vanessa.

 “I don’t plan on doing that.” Charity promised, unsure of why Rhona was being so hard on her. “Please, Rhona. I really like Vanessa, and I know that sounds weird coming from me because truthfully I don’t like anyone…but I like her. And I want to show her that…that maybe I don’t want just a bit of fun.”

 “Fine.”

 “Really?”  

 “Yes, I’ll tell Rishi that there was an anonymous donation that was greater than his.” Rhona smiled slightly, content in Charity’s explanation.

 “Thank you.” The smile on the blonde’s face brightened as she pulled out the bundle of notes from her pocket and added an extra £20 on top of the £100 that was already there. “Oh and here’s a little extra for the kid. He is a Dingle after all.” Charity shot the brunette a wink, before strutting back to her job behind the bar, her confidence restored and mind flooded with hundreds of ideas. She finally had her chance to get things sorted out with Vanessa once and for all, but first, she had to decide on how to get the blonde back on her good side…again.