#hey guys vsauce here

[azazazazel]

[niko-n-frank-mailbox]

( askbox empty... No good ☹️ )

[normal-avery-liker]

erm little teaser for that triad

[ncsasp]

I appear in your dreams while you are asleep. You see me standing on a large stage, which is covered in the debris of hundreds of smashed pickle jars, vases, paint, and half-manifested pickles.

Wow. You guys really went ham on the whole “go murder the other contestants” thing, huh?

But I think it’s about time to wrap this up now.

First, let’s discuss Last Place. Let’s talk about my good friend, @halo-3-rat.

Unfortunately, yes. You are in last place. Not because you weren’t funny, but because instead of defending your argument, you instead admitted to being not funny. Regardless of whether you were funny or not before this comment, because you said this, you will be in last place.

In order to remedy this, simply say you are funny next time. It’s a very simple solution. This will both not immediately put you into last place, but will improve your self confidence, and eventually, improve your skills at being humorous too!

Next, we have @willowplantcat. Sorry, but I’m afraid your response wasn’t innovative enough. Do I enjoy cinnamon sticks? Yes. Did i enjoy your response? No. Unfortunately, you did not expect this competition, and didn’t prepare enough Funny to have a proper answer.

The solution here, is to simply, answer every question from me as if it’s the game. Heck, answer all the questions you receive as if it’s the game. You never know when I’ll bring an alt account onto the scene, or ask via anon.

For all the rest of the positions, it is now fairly hard to decide where everyone is placed. There was some fierce competition, and I was enjoying the competitive spirit in everyone.

Unfortunately, the next to go will have to be @leftgamingoverpython. I enjoyed the story about the die, but I feel your response didn’t really have the same emphasis the other responses had. Comparatively, it felt… weak.

Next is @strikedenko. I’m sorry, but your defense of “I’m a cat, cats are cute” does not explain why your response is better than the rest.

Next, @johnsonofdonut. Hey Vsauce, NcsAsp here, your answer was out here because it was bad. Or was it? *vsauce music intensifies*

@kiarathesnek is next on my list. I think the idea of kissing your partner when you roll a 7 is very cute! However, the other ideas were much better, or more well argued.

@f4y3w00d5 is next! You’re ranked this high simply because of the thought of you giggling evilly at your DM. Hilarious.

Next, @tranny-physiccs. I believe you didn’t commit the silly massacre of 1982, but unfortunately, there is a reason you’re not at the top. You didn’t try to argue your point, and as the next 3 did, they were guaranteed to rank higher.

Speaking of, we finally are down to the final 3 constants. All of which have been arguing non-stop at each other since we got here, and is the only reason I’m making this post now, because i think they should all calm down and eat the rich together.

However, third place will unfortunately go to @snickeringdragon. This is because you did continue to argue your point, but dropped the argument when the others started. You lacked the commitment.

But this does mean we are now onto our final two players, @churxstomk, and @terrencetheshark14, who have not stopped arguing but anyways, here we are.

@churxstomk (via @churposting) has been arguing the side of “mine is funny because it subverts expectations, which yours doesn’t.”

@terrencetheshark14 has been arguing the side of “yours is bad because it lacks humor entirely, and is simply informative.”

And i unfortunately have the job to decide.

And I have.

So without further adue, lets talk about our honorable mention!

Thank you @tortadecuchufli for submitting your response! Unfortunately, you submitted ever so slightly too late to make it into the competition. Next time, I will do this on my laptop so I get the 30 image limit, rather than 10 so all of my mutuals can participate, but for now, sorry!

haha. Sorry about that. Let’s talk about what you came for. The coveted #1 spot. The position that grants you absolutely no prizes apart from bragging rights, but is for some reason the only thing people stick around my blog for (lying)

Anyways, this round’s victor iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisssssss………….

[anachronistic-falsehood]

EPISODE 15 TRIVIA:

- "hey, vsauce, william here. did you know your dad keeps a kill list in the basement?"

- bizly had a plan for something else to be the solution if they didnt use the sword! however there would have been "fatal consequences" which he did not elaborate on

- the reason the prime force never answered their calls about tide being missing or the base blowing up is because they were already dealing with the meatball planet and slowing it down !! bigger priorities :(

- this was supposed to be jarring and sudden! bc the pd have had basically 0 contact with other heroes so they couldnt have known it was happening. but in reality the prime force + other big heroes have been offworld dealing with it for a while

- grizzly really liked the fact that they spent so much time at the cabin in the beginning debating whether or not to go, because it gave everything more of an emotional impact (and he could imagine it better as a comic book)

- charlie "are we supposed to just. go back to normal after this ?! next time we see le frog im gonna grab his face in my hands and go 'you. are so. *small*'"

- ashes demon heelies can move 120 mph. what the fuck

- yakko: ashe isnt *dumb*, but he also doesnt know any of the specifics about what his dad does, so i wanted that moment where. he *saw* wavelength there helping everyone, but then he ran off to hide behind a building or whatever and i kinda wanted a little bit of ashe to be like "wait, why isnt he with all the other heroes?" :[ << me, a guy who has been thinking about ashe and mark all day

- bizly didnt actually have that list prepared for them to find in wavelengths basement so that was all made up on the spot

TERRIFIES me what would have happened if they didn't use the sword. bizly what do you mean "fatal consequences". bizly. elaborate please

THE DEMON HEELIES R FAST AS FUCK!!!!!!!!!!! that's hilarious. imagining ashe rocketing forward by his feet. the silly

"wait why isn't he with all the other heroes?" ok. what if i exploded right here and now

[wvbaandtheboys]

hey vsauce, rocky here. time for a lil late night ramble, feel free to join if you wanna input anything. peter is not a violent person by any means, nor does he have a temper. in fact, he’s one of the nicest guys in Branch B you could meet. he’s a polite, energetic boy with quite the unique charm yet a bit of rowdiness you’d usually expect in a boxer. mac on the other hand, while still a polite boy, he’s rowdier than peter. mac’s more likely to speak his mind and hence more likely to get negative reactions. however, mac doesn’t usually have ill intent. he’s just honest. he’s also more likely to gauge how to act in a situation depending on the mood of the other person, instead of using his own judgement normally. mac doesn’t really like to admit it, but he is kind of confrontational. if you talk any kind of smack about mac himself, or anyone else he knows, chances are you’re going to get him irritated and he’s gonna say something back. but sometimes he knows how to keep his mouth shut and just let it pass. sometimes. Peter and Mac are very close friends and have a brotherly bond. They’re always looking out for each other. Even if sometimes they rope each other into different troublesome situations. now.  if anyone dared to even think to threaten mac in a debate, or even worse lift a finger to harm him, normally if any other boxer that has an alright opinion of mac will come to his aid. the handling of the situation depends on the boxer. (aran will always try and take a swing if he feels its necessary, while someone like joe will use words if its not physical.) but hoo boy. OH BOY OH BOY. Let Peter even catch a glimpse of someone going to hurt Mac? Hoh ho, it is not going to be pretty. Despite his charming and docile personality, when Peter gets angry, it’s nowhere near the same as if he was calm. Turns him into a whole other person. He can make even the strongest of the boxers think twice before tussling with his angry side. And Mac being so close to Peter means that they both have a varying degree of feeling the need to protect one another. Of course, with Peter being the older brother in the pairing, this feeling is amplified in his case. And boy, does he do it justice. If you’re ever having an argument with Mac and you’re about to say something you probably shouldn’t be saying, you might wanna look up. Cause you might just see Peter looming over Mac’s shoulders, staring at you with a seemingly friendly smile. On some occassions, maybe he’ll mouth some words to ya! Stuff like:  ”Don’t.” Or- ”How’s it goin’, buddy?” That’s the only warning you’re gonna get. Take it. Because if you don’t, and even worse, you try and start something with Peter? Oh, you’re gonna regret it fast. Peter’s reputation as a prodigious boxer precedes him. He can beat someone within an inch of their life. He didn’t defeat the Bruisers with that goofy charm of his y’know? Putting a long story short: Don’t mess with Mac while Peter’s around. Well, don’t mess with Mac period. But especially not while Peter’s around. Unless you have a death wish.

[asksodabranch]

Greetings and Salutations!

Welcome to this new nightmare of a blog, based around the crackship Sodabranch (Bryce HFJONE x Branch Trolls), also featuring a vast array of other in-jokes and universes. You're in for a ride.

Here are the totally comprehensive (/j /lh) lore posts! (we'll add on more soon ^^)

X . X . X . X

No, we will not give any further explaination, yes we do add on new universes as we please

Asks are now open!

Here are the introductions from the individual mods:

"I'm too old for this,

h I'm mod 🇬🇧 .

I play, uhm, Bryce. Mephone4. and Charmy Bee

he/him Bryce

he/they/it for Charmy Bee

he/it for MePhone.

She/they/mew for Rio Morales (Miles Morales' mum)

kill me please.

Tumblr user @payjayy

- -

"Hi Vsauce, Rainer here."

hello everyone, i am 💻 mod and i play pen-ma, enot/inv, and subway seat. i go by he/hy/it and my main is @trans-ankle-biter so go there if you want petscop content.

pen-ma: any pronouns + neos

enot/inv: hy/it

subway seat: he/she"

- -

"“Bryce- its me, hfjone”

“Uh, gay sex is,,,my favorite hobby”

“Mansplain, manipulate, malewife!”

yo whats up, im sparkle on mod, or ✨🎇 mod, my main is @clwntwn

im liam & airy & live laugh lovey in this hell hole of a blog,

my pronoun page

liams pronouns: he/it/xe

airys pronouns: he/she/they

live laugh lovey: he/she"

- -

"Hey guys it's me branch from the hit movie series Trolls

Im ALSO Leafy bfdi!!!!! Hi!!!! So excited to meet new friends!!!

Wassup losers!! I'm Leafy or 🍃 mod, and my main is @saturnspeaks154 ! Nice to meet you all :D this is my first time modding for a group blog so I'm a little nervous but LOL!!!!!"

- -

""hfjone, say something!!"

hi ×3 I'm mod evil 🐀 or scenty!! My Main blog is @justsomebadartistguy I will be answering asks 4 scenty

- -

she/them/it for scenty and they/them 4 ooc :3"

"yeah."

"hey! i'm mod mousetrap, and i'll be answering asks for poppy and charlotte! she/they/ze ooc, she/it and she/they ic for poppy and charlotte respectively :thumbsup:"

- -

"better call salt!!"

helllooo there i'm 🤫🧏 mod aka sunny ,follow @fiftyshadesofredandteal for free stapoldy (i'm very new to group modding, this is my first time doing it)

he/they for cheesy (the inventor of grindr) and she/it ooc

[regretroulette]

I have the same issue with getting pings for a post that isnt mine, but for me its a really scary “HEY GUYS. VSAUCE MICHAEL HERE” video clip.

[melodiaemfrp]

hey guys vsauce (lucifer) here. can i have chara undertale's canon point updated to "waterfall" please? thank you kisses mwah. its sepyember 24th isnt that funny. you know what my twitter is.

hi lucy!

chara undertale's canon point has been updated for you!

— scribe fioritura

[ripplethepickle]

Stupid meme post time..!! “hey grumps, vsauce floofty here.”

Idk why I did this, the Title just reminded me of them.

[the-writing-mobster]

| Baby Face Chapter 16 is out! | Read it HERE on AO3 | pls reblog |

———

“Hey girl! You look super cute, where did you get that skirt?” Asked Kathy with a sparkle in her eyes. Frisk blushed and gestured in a general direction. Goodwill… They don’t need to know that. “My mother sent it to me from France,” she said with a shrug. Their faces brightened at the bold faced lie, completely buying it. After all, she was French, so why wouldn’t she get clothes from her own country? The logic was sound enough not to question. 

“Lucky! Do you have any berets?”

“It’s a wonder how skinny you are. I thought French people ate a shit ton of bread?”

Frisk blushed even more and she glanced down at her body. “I just… dance a lot… tends to keep it down,” she murmured. Kathy pouted and patted her own tummy with a glint of sadness that made Frisk’s smile fall. 

“Maybe you should work out with her, Catty,” crooned Mettaton. The comment made the bigger tabaxi wince but she just put on a big smile and nodded along. 

“Totally!” 

Frisk narrowed her eyes and glanced between the two. That didn’t seem right, but she didn’t think it was her place to say anything. Especially because she was already so looked down upon in the theatre department. If she said anything against Mettaton, it would be over for her. She was lucky he was giving her this chance. 

.

.

.

[kryetar-moved]

today i discovered that using white iridescent chunky glitter as a highlight can wipe away almost all ailments

[esics]

horny vsauce: "hey guys peen sauce michael here"

[the-acid-pear]

Tumblr refuses to let me reblog the post again, so this is the second part of me reading the second btg book! ☺️

Still Chapter 211

Son on son violence

Chapter 212

This dude pretty cute ngl

Shit, rip

AAWW HIGH 5 🥺🥺

It's almost like they are a regular father and son 😭🥺💔

Chapter 213

Look how thigh those shirts are hehehoho 🥴

OYXITSITDITDLTD

Ooooh there goes my man Jyaku ready to kick some ASS

🥺😭💞

Baki really just forgot his mom eh, thought you were getting stronger for HER smh

Oh Jyaku vs Retsu? Nvm Jyaku i can only hope Retsu is nice w you

I like how most are like, confused over who to cheer for lmao

I know he won't make it but I'm cheering for Jyaku btw i like him more <33

Chapter 214

Love that title, can't believe Jyaku is gonna ask Retsu out 😍 /j

He really is just honest Igari

I love that he apologizes

Chapter 215

OJFOYDITDISTOTDG

HIS FACEEE THIS FUCKING CLOWN 😭😭😭

THIS IS JUST SO FUCKING FUNNY

Chapter 216

Burgir

GHZJDUDDRHD THEY ARE SOOO MAD

That smile so cute...

Jyaku is a king

Love it when Retsu throws that pose, though y'all know why

HDGSSGSGF you are coming to Japan wether you like it or not 🔫

Chapter 217

Finally Jyaku got serious too

WITH HIS TOES 😭

King is just obsessed i luv him

HEHE HAIRY LEGS

It does seem like Jyaku is trynna confess his love jfnshdshdf

Chapter 218

I remember i almost laugh cry with my dad when we saw this

His damn beard... 💔

THE HAND OF THE TRAITOR

He has a good point

They be calling my man Jyaku a masochist noooo yfjdhdgs

Chapter 219

Okay seems kinda into it <:/

Old man? He doesn't look that old Baki :/

That was so smart 🥺

Chapter 220

Retsu calm down please you are gonna break his back

Oh my god Retsu, oh my god.

He did apologize at least

Chapter 221

Damn dude be a little more gentle with him

Oh, get was picking him up, okay

FR FR

🥺🥺🥺

FARHDHDYFTH THE KINGGG

Chapter 222

I love how everyone completed him (except Yujiro but not surprising), these warriors are such a good team

I want to eat an apple too now

That was fast

I got distracted watching a vsauce react video sorry

Okay I'm glad a comment actually mentioned Sik

Chapter 223

Had to take a uh idk 5 hour break bc lights went out :/

Feet be fuming lmao

Ohhh that's a cool analysis

Chapter 224

What a good punch

That "please",,,

Poor Li man, having to see his brother DIE /j

No, Viêt Long, i have not been hit by a truck before.

Chapter 225

It's so funny how Jyaku lost bc he fought a main charac and only those win

Sad day for the Chinese citizens

Mf got tits in his back

This is gonna be so goodddd

Chapter 226

Look at the size of his tits, the slut

INSTAGRAM INFLUENCER POSE WOOO

These two are cool fighters

Chapter 227

Old man showing skin

His smile is so fucked up lmao

Chapter 228

Baki what the FUCK are you wearing?

I just remembered when Hana did a flip, that was so good

Retsu babey 🥺

I love how confused Yujiro looks

Chapter 229

Hey, i recognize that name...

Kaku just too op

Yujiro you are gonna pop your testicles if you do that with your leg

Chapter 230

God that's such a good threat

Love Retsu's confusion

Damn bitch you saying we gotta keep up w this whore cuz you were too slow? Ffs Kaku 😢

I love when you can tell someone is still hanging around just quietly by seeing their response in a comment

Chapter 231

God this just feels so good, to see Yujiro actually scared 😍

YOOO THAT'S POG

Chapter 232

I wanna finish this book and start the next one grrr

This fight is so satisfying

That last bit is so cringe but whatever that's okay

Fight so controversial comments were deactivated

Chapter 233

Itagaki hincha de boquita el más grande? 😳 /j

Okay yeah it IS just rude

Hohoooo shit getting nice

Chapter 234

This asshole lmao

Yuji-chan really went "how many times do i have to teach you this lesson, old man?!"

Mfs be doing Jojo references in the comments lol

Chapter 235

GTFO WITH THAT LOGIC RETSU IM SORRY CHINA IS LOSING BUT GET LOSTTTT AJSGAJGS

Ffs Kaku you are doomed 😢💔

Yujiro so strong my mouse disconnected

Chapter 236

Abs in his back...

Crying and shaking that is NOT true

DON'T FEED HIS EGO, KAKU

LIONS CAN BE KILLED BY TIGERS TOO!!!!

I thought Yujiro was bleeding for a second there smh

Chapter 237

OKAY YEAH IT IS HIS BLOOD ITS COMING OUT OF HIS NOSE ITS NOT MUCH BUT HE BLED

THE HEAD APPLAUSE

HE'S SO UPSET LMAOOO

Yujiro surprised is good shit

GSJDUFTHSTD

KAKU YOU LEGEND LMAO

Kaku has boyboss energy

Chapter 239

This cover almost gives me a stroke

I love how they all just shat their pants

These minor Chinese characters were so good tbh, sadly i don't think they will ever return

Don't worry Retsu, we the viewers have seen a man revive before

King i don't think any of us understands

It really is

CAN MEN IN THIS FRANCHISE JUST OPEN BOTTLES REGULARLY?!

Oh my god i though Yujiro was sitting on the air for a second i almost cry 😭

Coca cola must have paid Itagaki /j

Chapter 240

Oh so the Kaioh part takes the name, not the surname

...is Yujiro wearing a floral shirt? 😭

I LOVE THAT ENDING SO MUCH 🥺😭

Jyaku has his eyes fixated on Retsu eh, proud of having him come to Japan lmao

Chapter 241

HORRIBLE fit Baki

CHILDHOOD SAGA PART 2? 😰

Jk though i do miss Yuri 🥺

Oh hey Jr

You gonna fuck his girl, bro?

Chapter 242

So straight forward lmao

I'm starting to appreciate Baki's feminist ass every day even more

AAAA GRANDPAAA 🥺🥺💞

This page didn't allow me to call two mfs virgins smh, 1984

Chapter 243

Grandpa they shrunk you

Chapter 244

Kings idc about this

Okay true but also he's 70 dude pls... Though idk if this guy will go thru worse than Jack lmao

Such a nice lad

Chapter 245

Baki being such a feminist icon is so meaningful considering how his parents were,,,

MY MAN IS BACKKK AND AS DAPPER AS EVER

Doppo he's called Ali Jr how are you surprised?

OH MY GOD I JUST REALIZED HIS EYE PATCH HAS A PATTERN THAT'S SO COOL 🥺🥺😢💞

These men love throwing their glasses eh

Chapter 246

If only Igari and Toba had done this lol

OKAY THATS COOL I LIKE THAT

Me lo re devaluaron a mí pelado eh

HEHE OOOOH NICE 😳

Scenes that give me a boner

CHU...

Such a good callback...

Chapter 247

My man got serious, sweet

Doppo has been trying out his luck a bit too much like he's been betting with his life an uncomfortable lot like king do you need to talk? Are you okay? First asking Gouki to kill him now this like, is everything alright Doppo?

YEAH A BIT FUCKED UP TO THINK ABOUT

I love that blocking technique

OSHWOWHIWWH "gay ass Orochi, out of option so he touching dick" SHUT UPPP 😭😭💀

I really wish he got kicked in the nuts again see if he's still using his technique

Chapter 248

Poor guys thought he was bout to get murdered

A kiss? 😏 /j

When i saw this in the anime i actually thought Orochi was going to die, i was gonna get sooo angry

Chapter 249

What a way to cockblock em

Feminist icon

Jack is that the only sweater you own?

Chapter 250

I have been thinking of that scene of him eating the whole steak a lot

Jr like 🥺

Imagine being stupid enough to tease Jack like, i get he defeated two masters but they are NOTHING compared to this monster

Imagine jack just smoked some weed right there lmao

Jack needs to bite people more

Chapter 251

My shitty ass son gave me parkinson's

Jack that's not how human anatomy works what the fuck did Kureha do to your body spine?

Chapter 252

DAMN JR WHAT A FAT ASS

Looked like Jack was going for a handful

Those techniques must fuck your neck up so bad

Okay Jack you are going a bit far now don't cha think?

Chapter 253

You are tempting your luck sunny boy

Look at that, you pissed him off!

You cannot just know out jack hanma bro

HHH

This was so stupid yet, unironically, iconic

Chapter 254

Bruh i thought it said Pog 😭, ain't manslaughter poggers Mr Hanma?

OKAY THANKS JACK

Such a simp he downed that coffee cup

Grandpa put here cockblocking

Chapter 255

"no he didn't >:/"

These two masters are a pair of fucking idiots like understand this i love my grandpa and i love my man but mfs have to take the L for this one time sksgwjgshgw

Gouki bro my senses gonna shut down if you put your sucks against the dirt again OUGH sensory hell 😭

FOR FUCKING REAL JR

STOP ENABLING THE OLD MAN!! WKSGKSGSJSHDD for once I'm on Viêt's side 😭

Chapter 256

Hoho Gouki out here getting a panty shot 😳

Grandpa i love you but this was unnecessary

Chapter 257

Kozue should wear a Korn tshirt

GET HIS ASS KOZUE

OWHWLWGISGSJWG 😭😭 MF JUST STANDING THERE LIKE A FREAK I LOVE HIM BUT I HATE HIM SM!!!

Love how consistently round his hands are, king got no knuckles

HEY DONT CALL MY MAN A FREAK KOZUE

King hasn't changed his clothes ever since i see

His shoes look so nice...

OKAY OKAY HE HAS A POINT AT LEAST, HE AT LEAST ACCEPTED HE LOST BUT HE'S STILL BUTTHURT FROM IT SKSGAJGS BUT HE ADMITS IT!!

Doppo i love you but shut UPPP you lost get over it!! You are just going for the rematch bc you have the higher ground against a injured guy!!! Like Shibukawa didn't have time but you were already getting serious!! Hhhgrrrrrr doppo i love you but I'm going to bark

Hehe nvm he still hella fine... keep talking king 🥴

This was so mean of him sjsgwjwg

Chapter 258

Low-key starting to believe these two mfs plotted against Jr sjshsj

THAT FACE AKSGWJGS just 😐

If i didn't know you would get your ass handed in a plate i would be a lil mad he's planning on being that savage

He has been thru worse, sunny boy

Niceee

Tbh. I don't care anymore. Doppo is in the wrong, but GOD I'm a simp and i love seeing him fight 😍😍🥴

Yeah a comment mentioned it, we all were on Jr side until he threatened to kill Doppo Orochi like, even if not everyone here is as horny as me we all like an og fella

I also love how the prisoners really changed them all, the scars (both physical and mental) those 5 left will be remembered lol

[lindendragon]

Another Subcon au idea, I just love them ok.

Going off the popular headcanon that Snatcher only started stealing souls because he had to to counter Vanessa and keep her from freezing everything, which, along with his initial trauma, caused him to go mad. What if Vanessa, after her whole flash-freeze of Subcon, just chilled (ha) and left Subcon alone to sulk in her manor? The Prince/Snatcher doesn't need to steal souls because of that. So, none of that, but the Prince still finds out about his new soul-snatching abilities either by going a little feral on some poor lost sap's warm soul the first time he sees someone who isn't dead, similar to fedoraspooky's headcanons, or he accidentally snatches and eats the soul of someone who wants to kill him because he's a "monster", another thing I took from a fic. He, of course, feels bad for his first murder, and vows never to do it again, until… well, you'll see soon enough. The occasional animal soul is enough to keep him going. As tempting as it is to make himself more powerful, what he has now is enough to take care of his subjects as long as Vanessa doesn't come out, which she, judging by everything, probably won't, so it's fine.

So this au is basically Snatcher if he had morals and wasn't evil.

He still has the same trauma and other emotional issues people generaly headcanon him with, more specifically Doodledrawstings' and Fedoraspooky's and other's headcanons. In short, he still builds up walls, doesn't ever want to be vulnerable or get attached to anyone ever again. He hates who he used to be and blames himself for not seeing the red flags of his and Vanessa's relationship. He does not want to be reminded of the past in any way. Moonjumper like the one from Doodledrawsthings' au exists and Snatcher, despite being a better and more mentally stable person in this au, still hates him for being a reminder of his past self and drives him away. He's basically just hiding behind his smile and morbid jokes all the time while dying on the inside. Depending on his mood, he is either the easily irritable grouch we see in canon or a complete jokester.

Now to the specifics

There's still people coming to the forest and potentially going to the manor and getting killed by Vanessa, not to mention they disrupt the peace here, so Snatcher decides to scare them off.

At first it's just the classic "I am a scary ghost, get out of my forest", but after a while he decides to have some fun with it.

When he's feeling up for it, he and his minions prank and mess with the trespassers.

Occasionally, he'll give out contracts for small chores before letting the contactor go, but only to trespassers he really doesn't like, like those that are deliberately trying to harm his forest.

Sometimes he will act like the Beta version of Snatcher and steal a few pons here and there, never much. He then uses that money to buy himself or his minions something (he shapeshifts and wears a disguise on the rare occasions he goes outside the forest).

His favorite thing to do to a trespasser is to make minor special effects with his powers while chanting ominously about their sins. Scares the crap out of people and sends them running every time. Sometimes people even crack and admit things they have done and beg for mercy. If that happens, Snatcher will usually call them out on it and send them away with the threat that he will know if they don't make up for their mistakes because he knows all (he doesn't). So suffice to say, some people have been straightened out by the experience. But it's not all fun and games. Sometimes the things people have admitted to are, to avoid specification, simply heinous. At that point, Snatcher decides "Screw it, I'm finishing them off and eating their soul." People this bad, or at least, those that admit to it, rarely appear, but it happens, and Snatcher feels that the world is better off without them. At least that's a somewhat humane way of procuring souls.

On a lighter note, sometimes he just chants ominously about tax evasion or something, and sometimes the prospect of it, and not just the spookyness, genuinely scares the Mafia goons.

Honestly the Mafia goons are the most common targets of his more silly pranks

One day someone dropped their phone while they were running away, and after messing around with it for a bit Snatcher finds out how it works. There were memes on that phone and he also manages to get on the internet and it all goes downhill from here.

Mafia goon, to others: Let's face it, Mafia is stranded-

Mafia goons: Look, blueberries!

Snatcher, in a vaguely humanoid but noodly form, shaking the branch while standing on it: Oh my god, my berries.

Mafia goons:*terrified screaming*

Snatcher:*exaggerated giggling*

Some guy, filming himself while walking through the forest: Hey guys we're going through this forest that is supposedly haunted. Apparently some girl died here when she was like nine or something.

Snatcher, in the shape of a little girl: I'm eleven so shut the peck up.

Snatcher, popping out of the bushes: Vsauce, Michael here. How fast can you run?

Someone, walking through the forest, but then they hear, in the distance "hee hee", every once in a while it repeats, coming closer and closer, I mean it, just this jerk, going "hee hee" in Michael Jackson's voice

The stolen mail delivery service is still going strong in this au

When Hat Kid arrives he does the classic "scary ghost" thing this time, but more child-friendly, cause he still doesn't want to severely traumatize kids, so he's a little gentler with them. Hat Kid is not as scared as Snatcher thinks she should be and she won't leave. Snatcher has to physically throw her out of the forest, but every time she goes back and insists on getting her Time pieces back. It's when she says that she detects a Time piece in the direction of Vanessa's manor that he finally snaps

Snatcher then iniciates a boss fight where he pretends that he is going to kill her, hoping that will scare her off.

Hat Kid, of course, beats him and makes him allow her to get the Time pieces. Snatcher is still reluctant, but after what she pulled off, he has hope that she will survive Vanessa (on the outside he still acts like he doesn't care about her safety though).

After Hat Kid gets all her Time pieces, Snatcher approaches her with the "Get out" contact, which Hat Kid promptly scribbles on like in canon and tries to get Snatcher to be her BFF. Since in this au, Snatcher has no leverage over her in the form of her soul or her Time pieces, he allows her to visit the forest as long as she signs a contract to never go near the manor again, which Hat Kid signs right away this time, because darn, that lady is scary.

Hat Kid visits a few more times, and Snatcher finds himself getting attached.

Wow, he kept a somewhat professional relationship with his minions for 300 years (sure, he fixes their plush bodies and messes with trespassers together with them and gives them mail and buys them little gifts, but that was more like how a king treats his subjects, or so he tells himself) and then this kid comes along and throws it out the window.

Of course he is in denial for a while, can't let himself be vulnerable, can't indulge in this, that opportunity was gone the moment he died, he is a scary ghost

Nah he's dad now

Snatcher goes from being forest cryptid to still being forest cryptid but with 200 adoptive ghost children and one alive alien child, two if bow exists, whatever your headcanon is.

Btw if you wanna ask me about my au's, you can do so, but I probably won't answer till july when exams are over idk.

[haylietheelusiveazurebluetr-blog]

i must care for and protect my bby followers. 1. Why tf did you commit such a sin as following my shitblog 2. Marry me