#hey guys I made this post. it's not that funny

[txttletale]

hey what DO you watch on youtube? seems like you'd have some neat recommendations :3

i really loathe the like super-highly edited sound effect post-mrbeast slop most of youtube is now so i mostly like stuff that's like... calm and sedate. stuff i've been watching lately in no particular order:

northernlion vods and clips. he's an OG. i especially like his react court series, i must have watched all of them like five times.

speaking of OGs i've been watching zero puncutation (now fully ramblomatic) for like ten years and if anything it's only gotten better. best game review content on the internet. been really enjoying his more recent, slightly longer and more thoughtful 'extra punctuation/semi-ramblomatic' series too.

any austin's skyrim unemployment rate videos. instant classics to me, it's just a guy going around in skyrim trying to figure out the unemployment rate in every town. it's a very dry kind of humour, he plays it admirably straight, and it's weirdly calming.

kitten arcader's foot the bill videos. in a kind of similar vein, he watches the saw movies and then produces an itemized bill for everything jigsaw needed to buy to make his traps. it's kind of like... if cinemasins was fundamentally curious instead of fundamentally incurious, it scratches a similar sort of nitpicky detail-oriented quantifying itch but without inimical to the concept of art.

shuffle up and play. it's a magic the gathering play series that has enough editing that the gamestate is actually legible but not enough editing (or at least, not enough obtrusive in-your-face editing) that its annoying. i also like that they reguilarly play non-edh formats like cube and pauper.

spice8rack. i'm pretty picky about video essays but spice8rack has very obviously actually read books and has interesting things to say about the topics it discusses (mostly magic: the gathering). sometimes it has a kind of grating Theater Kid Energy but the fact that it actually meaningfully structures essays and analysis to earn the silly long runtimes is a rare delight from a video essayist.

jenny nicholson is a long-time favourite and another permanent fixture in my rotation. she's just extremely, remarkably funny which makes her the only 'basically just summarizing a thing' youtuber i think is worth the time of day.

i watch some sketch comedy, mainly wizards with guns and aunty donna, who both consistently put out really funny stuff that's kind of ITYSL-adjacent in its barefaced absurdism and contenmpt for concepts like "stopping a joke at the logical punchline". i also really like alasdair beckett-king and binging the old clickhole backlog for short-form comedy on youtube.

wolfeyvgc is right on the edge of the level of editing i find tolerable but as a long-time fan of multiple esports he Has It, he's absolutelyt fantastic at t elling the narrative of a tournament, explaining plays clearly, and generally making competitive pokemon esports thrilling and interesting ti someone (me) who#s never played it and doesn't care about pkoemon that much

i religously watch every elliespectacular/dathings YTP, the absolute best in the game right now, top tier snetence mixing and really good at actually setting up and paying off jokes in a way it feels like a lot of ytp doesn't. verytallbart is also pretty good.

trapperdapper is a channel i recently binged, it's a really fucking funny parody of minecraft challenge content that veers slowly from obvious angles of parody into pure absurdism with tons of blink-and-you'll miss it subtle visual gags.

too much future is a great youtube series where the two guys from just king things/homestuck made this world play through every fallout game and analyze them in that context. extremely funny and also just top-tier very sharp analysis. really good

another one of the rare good video essayists is jan misali. they're really funny and will go into topics that kind of seem narrow or strange to begin with in such depth and make them so interesting that it's consistently astonishing.

oh and finally sarah z makes pretty good videos. 'the narcissist scare' is an absolutely brilliant deconstruction of one of the most annoying pop-psych phenomena of the last couple years. and remarkably well script supervised i think did anyone else watch it and think 'wow the script supervisor on this must have been, a mind geniuse'

ok i think that's all i've been watching lately. hope you like whcihever of these recs you check out :)

[uhhlifeig]

Three Broomsticks - Nov. 5 - word count: 350 - @wolfstarmicrofic

At a small table near the back of the Three Broomsticks, Sirius Black was loudly recounting an exaggerated story to his friends, hands waving wildly.

"So there I was,” Sirius announced, “surrounded by five- no, seven Dementors, and all I had was a chocolate frog wrapper and my charmingly good looks."

Remus snorted, taking a sip of his butterbeer. “Funny, I recall you having both your wand and your full strength. And it was one Dementor.”

Sirius waved a dismissive hand. “Details, details. A good storyteller knows how to embellish.”

Meanwhile, across from them, James was whispering something to Regulus, who rolled his eyes but seemed unable to hide a small smile. The deer animagus leaned closer, nudging him playfully. "Come on, Reg, admit it- you love my dashing bravery."

Regulus snorted, looking away to hide his smirk. “Dashing bravery? James, you’re terrified of spiders.”

“Hey!” James protested, “They’re creepy! They have six legs too many and long teeth!!”

At that, Sirius choked on his drink. “Prongs, you shouldn't have let Reg hear you admit that. He’ll never respect you again.”

Regulus arched a brow. “Oh, I lost all respect ages ago. But I suppose I’ll tolerate it for now.” He gave James a quick kiss on the cheek, making Sirius gag in mock disgust.

“Ugh,” he groaned, “must you be so sappy in public? It’s nauseating.”

Remus snickered. “Really, Sirius? The one who wrote me three sonnets just last week?”

Sirius flushed pink. “Well, those were private! And artistic. There’s a difference.”

“Right,” Regulus said with a smirk, “and how many of those lines rhymed ‘Remus’ with ‘moon’?”

Sirius scowled, cheeks turning redder by the second. “At least I’m creative. Unlike James over there, who probably couldn’t write a poem if his life depended on it.”

“Oi! I’ll have you know, I wrote Reg a perfectly good limerick just the other day!”

“Oh, Merlin help us,” Remus muttered.

The sight-impaired boy cleared his throat dramatically, ignoring everyone’s groans. “There once was a boy named Reg, who, well… he made me want a keg…”

“STOP!” Sirius cried.

James just grinned.

(hey guys!! i won't be posting microfics for the next few days because i have an event i have to attend. yes i'll be active-ish on tumblr throughout the next few days, but no fics. and yes ill post all of the ones ill be missing on saturday when i get back! ily'all!)

[austinslounge]

I honestly tried to like Kaia, I truly did, but I can’t stand this shit anymore. Her desperate attempts to be popular, seem interesting and ”deep” are driving me insane at this point. I know it’s probably not her fault, but her parents’, they made her this cringy attention-seeker after all. I can’t understand what Austin sees in her other than her family’s connections or just a plain PR agreement. She has no personality, she always tries to gain popularity by copying her mother(or people she’s dating). It’s funny how she doesn’t even look that much like Cindy, sure, she’s beautiful, but Presley literally stole Cindy’s face. Her attempts to seem intelligent are also miserable. I’ve never seen any of her book club readings, because for me, most of her book recommendations are just airplane reads, but I’ve seen many people say that even when she’s talking about books, it seems scripted and staged. Like someone just gave her a summary and she retells what happened in the book, that’s it. I mean, what intelligence? She never even bothered to take basic acting classes. Her comments about nepotism speak volumes too. During the pandemic she bragged about having dinner reservations and partying with her friends. Her merch is awful. With all her money and resources, she could have made some really good stuff, but why would she?Her small insane fan base will pay 50$ for an ugly white shirt with a caption either way. She’s desperately clinging to anyone who can give her even the smallest amount of fame, her following people and then unfollowing them if they don’t follow back. The way she was clinging to Austin hardcore in July, dragging him away from his fans, when he wanted to interact with them. Her stupid cake for his birthday. Don’t even get me started on how she makes out with her female friends constantly or throws herself on her male costars or short SNL guys. I don’t know why I feel so annoyed and disgusted by her all the time. I swear, this girl spoils my excitement for Austin and his work every fucking time. Nepotism is not always a bad thing, there are talented nepo babies, but she’s like the epitome of everything I hate about nepotism. I don’t know how she can rub shoulders with people who actually have talent, get invited to all these awards and red carpets. Kaia had plenty of time to prove that she’s worth something, she’s been in the industry since she was a child, but no. Why would she prove anything? Her mother is Cindy Crawford, her father is a millionaire worth 400 million, her boyfriend is Austin Butler. I just wish she will go away finally. No matter how hard I try, I can’t warm up to her. Sadly, looking at the state she is now, you can clearly tell that the girl has issues, but sadly,having no brain,she can’t understand that she’s a tragedy about to happen.

💯

Girl! I wish I could give you an award for this post. You basically hit the nail squarely on the head with the many various reasons why a lot of us in Austin's fandom don't like this girl! I'd be saying the exact same thing if Austin were dating another woman just like this. I'm actually verrry surprised that people haven't called Kaia out on her very obvious clout-chasing by now.

I'll be honest, I never really cared for her even when she was dating Elordi. I don't hate her, she's just meh to me. Always has been. So my thoughts and feelings about her are not about Austin. It's more so about what I've observed about her over the years.

Her dating Austin just makes things even more unbearable though -- especially when you know that he could do so much better. 😩 But hey, it's his life, not mine!

When I realized they were dating however, I really did try to like her too, or at least give her a chance. I saw that Austin was with her, so I was trying to be a "good fan"and see what he may see in her. But last year, I started seeing more and more negative things that I just didn't like about her.

I really don't have much to add to this wonderful post, because you basically touched on the many various reasons why a lot of AB fans don't really care for her. I also think she makes Austin look cheap with her weird behavior and interests. 👀 She really cheapens his brand imo. But that's a topic for another day lol.

[crabanarchy]

i miss cd drives. how could you just take her pussy away. likes its nothing

[flipit-turnways]

strider-man... haha. im hilarious (johndave week day 5 - first kiss) alt under cut

[agentark]

everything we know about Red vs Blue means that there's a canonically supported reality in which every bit of the rvb timeline that happens post-Freelancer saga is actually just simulations Epsilon is running in WASH's head as he unravels

[xxplastic-cubexx]

I have to weigh in 'cause while I am definitely a service-top Erik truther, I do agree with the previous anon who said he could be a sub/top. I think his control freak personality becomes too much at times and he needs to CHILL OUT and relax a little, and the best way Charles can help him do that is by taking control from him in bed and ordering him about, but with Erik still 'topping' it lends the illusion of control while stripping the actual responsibility of decision-making from him.

the council's come to a Rather Unanimous Conclusion oh wow that was easy

[sluckythewizard]

had this thought rotating in my mind since arthur had to wear that Anti-Sun disguise. and well. now u see it too

[l0gitex]

i have to know more....

[b4kuch1n]

pre-holiday leave crumbs

[liathgray]

This is the single funniest thing I’ve ever seen from an official studio account

[marclef]

it is here. the final hurrah of the month. for those who've been with me through this, regardless of if you're a follower, my dad, or just here for the Pizza art, i wanna thank y'all for being here and supporting me.

i've known what the last character i was gonna draw would be for a while now, it didn't start this way but the more i thought about it, the more comfortable i felt sharing my stuff more.

so, i'm finally starting to feel good enough to share my OC stuff outside of just this, so here's a little introduction of what's to come.

so yeah. the Pizza Tower completely took over my brain. people have been making all sorts of their own characters and stuff for it; me, i kinda just took a character i already had and Pizza-d her. this is Eyhm (pronounced just "M".)

i plan on making some more drawing stuff for her and posting it every so often, but for now, here's a couple other dumb things i made.

and one more quick sketch i made today. she and Fake are friends.

have a very good Spook Day y'all.

[camelspit]

Elysian by @fintan-pyren

Lady Gisela 1 by @squishmallow36

Lady Gisela 2 by @give-me-caffeine

Lady Gisela 3 by @gayupstraight

[shumistar]

GRAAAAAAAH

Wdym.

There is NO tumblr community for my new niche interest?!?!!?!

IT CANT BEeeee ee e e e

*perishes*

[un-pearable]

sorry star wars is my new archie sonic

[beeguillotine]

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