#hes. dressed as the onceler Yes

[hateshugs]

[kerink]

in light of people's confusion over cecil's longevity in @sexymanotd i wanted to document a bit of his history for those unfamiliar or nostalgic

welcome to night vale is a podcast written by joseph fink and jeffrey cranor. cecil gerschwin palmer is the main character and voiced by cecil baldwin.

it debuted on june 15, 2012 it reached its peak in popularity in 2013-2014

despite this, wtnv has been one of tumblr's top fandoms since staff started tracking fandom-related data in 2014

for the longest time the only thing we knew about cecil's appearance was: "He is wearing a tie. He is not tall or short. Not thin or fat." and that wasn't until episode 19 which aired march 15, 2013. for almost a full year we had no idea what cecil looked like. so tumblr's collective unconscious kicked into high gear and we did what we do best

we created a tumblr sexyman

from know your meme: "Defining traits of the archetype include skinny body type, trickster or villain role and dapper clothing."

know your meme identifies wheatley (portal 2, 2011) and the onceler (the lorax, 2012) as being likely tumblr's first sexymen. and the onceler fandom was at its peak in 2012-2013, the same time as wtnv. in addition to this, the hannibal fandom has been cited as one of the contributing factors to wtnv's success on tumblr.

so tumblr had created an archetype that worked and the wtnv fandom was made up of mostly hannibal fans - the foundation for putting cecil in a suit was there. and honestly? cecil's at work in the show, why wouldn't he be well dressed?

however, while this explains his attire it doesn't explain some of cecil's more unique sexyman features, namely the tentacles. for this we have to return to the 2014 fandom review analysis where you can see the most popular fandom at the time: homestuck

haven't you ever wondered why almost a quarter (189/923 at time of writing) of E rated wtnv fics on ao3 are tagged tentacles or tentacle sex? why cecil having tentacles for a dick is such a seemingly popular headcanon? well look no further then homestuck cultural hold over.

throughout all of this, the development of the sexyman archetype on tumblr and the rise of homestuck, one creator really stands out: kinomatika

kino was one of the most popular homestuck artists on tumblr at the time, popular for their eridan fanart. if you google image search "welcome to night vale" kino's art is still one of the first results you'll get

their design was so popular in fact it was featured in wtnv related articles from the time

and yes there were absolutely other artists giving cecil tentacles and moving tattoos at the time, but it can't be understated the reach kino had and the influence their homestuck roots had on their design choices

i recommend going through the archive of @nightvaleartclub to see how cecil used to be portrayed back in the early days. unfortunately the earliest fanart i've been able to find is july 2013 and i find it hard to believe it took tumblr a year to draw him. although, i started listening at episode 5 and didn't start drawing him until then myself so who knows...

cecil has had tumblr's heart in a vice grip since episode 1, with "20,000 posts, 183,000 blogs and 680,000 notes using the #Night Vale tag" during its first week. tumblr's love for wtnv has always been fairly genuine, from the impact the writing has had on tumblr humor and future story telling, to how wtnv paved the way for lgbt+ representation in indi media, to how it popularized podcasts as a medium for story telling, to the little comforts some of cecil's quotes still bring people today

cecil is not only a founding father of tumblr culture, but also a blorbo of the people. cecil the character in canon has a tumblr account where he posts his art and slash fanfiction.

although cecil's character has developed over time and we've come to see what a ditzy, eccentric, brat he really is, changing his status from sexyman to babygirl, cecil is absolutely a character you should embrace. and you know what... despite what i've said in the past

#cecilsweep

[ID: Images one and two are Google analytic graphs for the search terms "welcome to night vale" and "wtnv" between June 15, 2015 and January 27, 2023. They both depict very sharp spikes around 2013-2014 until the lines decrease greatly over time.

Image three is a drawing of Cecil from Welcome To Nightvale. He is white, with white hair, glasses, a third eye on his forehead, and he is wearing a suit. In the background is the silhouette of a neighborhood from the WTNV official art, a galaxy, and a moon. It is tinted purple. Image four is the always has been meme. Instead of the earth is the tumblr logo, and the text is: “a wtnv fansite?” “Always has been”. End ID] id thanks to @princess-of-purple-prose

[diorsluv]

casual , part 9

“ i have anger issues ”

series m. list previous chapter

( socialmedia!au )

yourusername

liked by jackhughes, edwards.73, and 154,238 others

yourusername hughes-a-palooza ⁉️

tagged: lhughes_06, jackhughes, _quinnhughes

view all comments

username58 WE NEED WEEKLY HUGHES A PALOOZA POSTS

→ yourusername idk about weekly bae..

→ username47 at least monthly please 😭😭 yourusername

colecaufield quinn?!?!?!

→ _quinnhughes oh god

→ yourusername LMFAOOO

→ trevorzegras more blackmail 😈

_quinnhughes mom didn’t let you and luke sit together on planes for a reason

→ yourusername i accidentally spill coffee on him once and then all of a sudden i’m banned from sitting next to him 😔

→ lhughes_06 it was not an accident.

→ yourusername YES IT WAS??

→ jackhughes rosie i watched you PICK THE CUP UP and pour it on his lap

→ yourusername I LIE ABOUT A TON OF SHIT BUT I NEVER DID THAT????

→ _quinnhughes wtf no she just separated you because you were annoying as hell

→ lhughes_06 oh

→ yourusername erm…

username32 STOP the toy story costumes are too adorable

username77 BABY QUINN

username91 omg i need to see all the baby photo albums right now

adamfantilli so when were you gonna tell me you’ve been cosplaying since you were 3

→ yourusername it’s called dressing up for halloween 😐😐

→ adamfantilli which is technically cosplaying

→ luca.fantilli bro why are you so obsessed with cosplaying

→ rutgermcgroarty do you have something you wanna tell us adam???

→ adamfantilli 🤐

→ g.brindley4 is that why i found a red and white wig in your closet the other day??

→ yourusername MY HERO COSPLAY?? 😭

→ markestapa todoroki cosplay is insane

vivianliu ADORABLE ADORABLEEE

→ yourusername 🫶

edwards.73 the costumes r cute

→ yourusername you seem super thrilled!!!!

→ edwards.73 cuz they’re cute but you’re cuter

→ yourusername oh 😨

→ markestapa this is quite public if i do say so myself

→ lhughes_06 🤢🤢

→ mackie.samo i actually threw up reading this

→ edwards.73 mackie you’re quite literally sick right now

username85 i want my kids to be like this

username13 jim n ellen got us with the good pics ‼️

_alexturcotte did you and jack always match costumes??

→ yourusername our mom switched it every year but jack was the best costume twin 😔😔

→ _quinnhughes okay our lorax and onceler costume was good though

→ yourusername …….no!

→ colecaufield who was the lorax???

→ yourusername take a wild guess 😑

→ _quinnhughes you lost rock paper scissors fair and square yourusername

username68 BABY HUGHES PICS ALERT 🚨🚨🚨

dylanduke25 i like how you and quinn NEVER have pics together

→ yourusername i have yet to find a picture of only us in an old photo

username49 WOODY AND JESSIE AHHH

rutgermcgroarty when will you post the pics of us 😔

→ yourusername rut sweetie they’re my BROTHERS i have to post them occasionally

→ yourusername and also i just posted us???

→ rutgermcgroarty you have an entire album of us.

→ yourusername i have one for vivi too and i barely post me and her 😰😰

→ rutgermcgroarty SIX. HUNDRED. PHOTOS.

→ mackie.samo 600????

→ rutgermcgroarty 694 to be exact 😒

→ markestapa SO BASICALLY 700?!?!?!?!

→ colecaufield what happened to the other boyfriend

→ dylanduke25 yk rosie if i didn’t know who your not-boyfriend is, i would think it was rut

→ rutgermcgroarty ..duker that’s not a good thing

→ dylanduke25 i know

username62 i will be dressing my children up in toy story costumes thank you.

markestapa i’ve never heard him scream in agony so loudly before

→ yourusername wait what??? what happened to him

→ markestapa you and your little “best friend”

→ yourusername WE’RE JUST BEST FRIENDS THO

→ rutgermcgroarty yeah that’s all there is

yourusername

liked by _alexturcotte, luca.fantilli, and 97,255 others

yourusername went on a cooking rampage tn 🫢

view all comments

edwards.73 that food looks pretty good im not gonna lie

→ yourusername yeah this random guy made it for me

→ edwards.73 random???

→ yourusername mhm it was so weird.. he had the key to my apartment and everything

→ edwards.73 man i think that’s pretty unsafe rosie

→ yourusername it’s okay tho i thought he was cute so i let him stay ☺️

→ edwards.73 oh 😳

luca.fantilli LET HER COOK 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

→ yourusername aaaaaand you’re blocked

→ markestapa LET HER COOK 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

→ rutgermcgroarty LET HER COOK 😝😝😝😝😝😝

→ dylanduke25 LET HER COOK 😈😈😈😈😈😈

→ mackie.samo LET HER COOK 😼😼😼😼😼😼

→ yourusername you’re all HORRIBLE

→ luca.fantilli 😘

→ markestapa 😘😘

→ rutgermcgroarty 😘😘😘

→ dylanduke25 😘😘😘😘

→ mackie.samo 😘😘😘😘😘

trevorzegras goddamn big back lemme have some

→ yourusername ⁉️⁉️⁉️

→ jackhughes u just got clipped bro

→ _quinnhughes 📸

username75 is that… HIM??

username90 bae stop actin like you don’t know we know it’s ethan

username23 AWW cooking date so cute

_alexturcotte oh are those brownies for me 😁

→ yourusername you n trev r always trying to steal my food bro 😒😒

→ _alexturcotte what can i say ur a good cook

→ yourusername U CALLED MY PASTA SHIT

username6 stop the plating is so gourmet

colecaufield you and luke’s gf are like the same person

→ yourusername LUKE??? GF???? WHENNNNN?????? lhughes_06

→ lhughes_06 thanks a lot cole

→ yourusername EXPLAIN

→ jackhughes you know her veeeeeery well

→ yourusername VIVIAN?!?!?!

→ vivianliu oh god no 😭😭

username44 cole’s stirring up the family drama

username19 damnn those cookies r looking good girl

→ yourusername i tried to perfect my recipe 😈

rutgermcgroarty name drop the guy rn

→ yourusername dude ur acting like ur the one in the pics 🙄🙄

→ rutgermcgroarty who said i wasnt

→ yourusername i did.

→ lhughes_06 is this supposed to be a tactic to confuse everyone

→ rutgermcgroarty we’ll never know 🤫

mackie.samo when was the last time you willingly ate pizza

→ yourusername tonight 😐

→ mackie.samo because he made you do it……… right??

→ yourusername NO he just wanted to do it so i did

adamfantilli wtf rosie i just looked at the boys gc and hes literally obsessed with you

→ yourusername um 😃

→ adamfantilli NOT LIKE THAT

→ adamfantilli but he’s just being a big pussy rn

→ yourusername that’s what they’re all saying 🙄🙄

→ edwards.73 DUDE you gotta stop leaking the gc convos

→ luca.fantilli fr it’s unacceptable

→ yourusername stfu luca u sent me screenshots like two days ago

→ rutgermcgroarty TRAITOR luca.fantilli

→ yourusername and u just gave me ur phone to scroll through rutgermcgroarty

→ mackie.samo as the spokesperson i’d like to say we’re kicking u all out

→ adamfantilli NO PLEASE

→ rutgermcgroarty WE’LL DO ANYTHING

→ luca.fantilli WAIT PLEASE FORGIVE US

_quinnhughes so as your older brother it’s my job to steal your food

→ yourusername 🫤

→ _quinnhughes and we’re playing the wings tomorrow so i will be stopping by and stealing half the stuff in your fridge

→ yourusername thanks for the warning asshole

→ _quinnhughes any time u little shit

→ jackhughes hey that was my nickname for her 😞

→ lhughes_06 i thought i was the little shit????

→ vivianliu how did you guys manage to go from posting each other to arguing over who was the little shit 😭😭

username7 forearms 😵‍💫😵‍💫

liked by yourusername

username30 get urself a man who will have cooking dates with u 🙌

lhughes_06 u make enough food to feed the entire family

→ yourusername mom taught me well 🤗

→ lhughes_06 but u literally never fed me when we lived together??

→ yourusername yes. i. did.

→ jackhughes lukey says u “NEVERRRR” fed him

→ yourusername HOW DO U THINK HE GOT SO FUCKING TALL

→ _quinnhughes mom and dads genes

→ yourusername bc i’ve been feeding him HALF of my food every time he walked into the damn room

→ yourusername SINCE WE WERE 14

→ jackhughes ur not wrong

→ yourusername no shit

username13 girlll im tryna cook like u

username9 cutiessss 💕

username27 babe ima need u to hard launch alreadyyy

vivianliu rosie.

→ yourusername vivi.

→ vivianliu i know you cook and bake when you’re stressed or anxious

→ yourusername whatttt no

→ vivianliu is it about him 🤨

→ yourusername no!

→ vivianliu mmmmmkay

notes ) she’s a bit of a short one BUT HERES TO THE STARS’ SATURDAY NIGHT WIN AND THE WIN FROM TN ‼️ the stress was fucking insane and my heart was BEATING but we did it 🙏 a celebratory chapter if you will

tags: @dancerbailey3 @hughesfein @loveforaugust @alwaysclassyeagle @love4ldr @inhoodmood @bunting58 @crazycat-ladys-blog @smoooore @bunbunbl0gs @lilasianmeat

[rithmeres]

yes, the plans that i could not share with you (because the haters would sabotage me) were that i was taking on LACC in my vash getup :)

i have so few pictures of myself but i got so many compliments (especially on my arm) and plenty of other people took pictures of me. and normally i don't like attention but i will be honest with u. under these circumstances i loved it. my arm held up really well through 8 hours on the convention floor and i have never been prouder of anything i've made. it's articulated incredibly well, no part of it gave out or required repair, it's never uncomfortable or a nuisance to wear, and i have enough range of motion to do relatively complex things like tying my shoes.

originally i was not planning to try to meet anyone famous because 1) it's expensive and 2) the lines are long and 3) i feel weird and annoying approaching literally anyone for any reason BUT. the spot where i met up with my sister just happened to be right next to johnny yong bosch's table. right when he started signing things. so i said LOL ok i'll do it.

it was super chill, i asked him how it felt to get the call that they wanted him to come back 20 years later for a trigun reboot and he said it almost didn't happen -- that since they recast everyone else for stampede they considered recasting vash as well (and i said WOW i'm so glad they didn't) and he said he really enjoyed getting to come back and explore a darker take (i forget if what he said was a darker take on vash's character, or just a darker trigun in general) but it was briefly surprising 2 me that he considered stampede to be a darker version but i get it, especially when u consider that there is not a lot of comedy in those 12 episodes to balance out the grief.

ANYWAY he was impressed with my arm and i asked him if he would sign my coat :) so he signed the lining but he was also like u know what, i'm gonna give you a second autograph just because. so he signed a print for me as well (free of charge!!) and the print with the blue signature matches my famous paintings that i always film in front of (that's providence baybee)

other stuff from the con under the cut

cosplay notes:

i saw 3 other vash cosplayers (a 98 vash, a stampede vash, and a purple coat vash) and no shade but i definitely had the best arm build. peace and love to all of them though

i saw 1 1/2 wolfwoods. 1 was the aforementioned mullet wolfwood from yesterday's post (ww if you’re out there ww) and the 1/2 was the 98 vash cosplayer’s gf in some kind of goth-ish dress and she was carrying a punisher

mullet wolfwood if you're out there i regret not getting a picture with you so much. i am deeply ashamed and i have no excuse because i ran into you twice and both times i was too embarrassed to ask for a picture. i just want you to know that your punisher was swag and your earrings were yolo and we would look very good together

i expected to see a lot more trigun tbh. los angeles where u at. 4 vashies at a convention of 120,000+ people is nothing. one guy even walked up to me like wow i love ur vash, i haven't seen a lot of trigun at this con and i was like I KNOW i thought i'd see a lot more

theeeee costume of all time award goes to the cad bane cosplayer i saw on the balcony. spare hand in marriage dude (gn) you looked so good

second place for costume of all time goes to the other mother cosplayer who had button eyes and these crazy finger appendages and never once broke character even while waiting in lines

i took 100 points of psychic damage from this one guy who (and im not kidding) was at least 6’4’’ and wearing platform boots and was dressed as the mfing onceler. with the stupid top hat he was fr 7+ feet tall (i saw him duck to get through a doorway).

someone was there as the brawny paper towel guy?? just walking around in a beard and flannel carrying a pack of paper towel rolls?? go off king

i saw 5 nightwing cosplayers but only 2 were biblically accurate (had ass)

the nanami sweep at this convention was so real u all SHOWED UP. and everybody ate. i saw at least 12 nanamis and not one of them was a flop.

i have never seen so many spider-mans in my life

other things:

fig. 1: this extremely hot captain america on a very large poster was about 2 make me act unwise. hi gorjus................................. nice eyebrows

fig 2: i saw this sign a couple blocks away from the con and i did a triple take. 🔥🔥🔥TRIMAX MENTIONED🔥🔥🔥

fig. 3: i saw all 4 hobbits in panel and can confirm elijah wood’s laugh is ten times more infectious in real life. before they were even done sitting down, dominic monaghan switched around all of their name cards so that none of them were seated behind the right name. as u might imagine much of the panel's content was reminiscing about LOTR, but i heard some stories that i hadn't heard before. they also talked about video games, other projects they are working/have worked on, how their kids feel about their dads' LOTR roles, how much they love ian mckellen, and how they would love to see something happen for the 20th anniversary of ROTK this year. sean astin (the legend) took shots at the stranger things writers (basically said joyce could never be happy with hopper) AND EVERYONE CLAPPED LOL. billy and dom talked about the best food in NZ, their show billy and dom eat the world, and the unfortunate events that led to the friendship onion's hiatus. it was a ton of fun to just watch them be themselves with each other, you can tell that these guys are all so fond of each other and love each other so much.

and finally, fig. 4: i bought these beautiful prints from @/batinyourbelfry and the skeletal washi tape from @/skeletalacademia (both on IG)

[xxrainshadowsxx]

New Elite Chapter 6

The day of the Hunte’s ball, you were nearly beside yourself with worry, although you were doing your best to conceal that fact. This was the ultimate test. Could your secret courtship survive a huge, New York style event? Or would you be found out, far sooner than you were ready for?

At least you looked decent this time around. You were actually allowed to wear a color now, so you’d chosen a dress of light blue. The corset your mother had once again insisted on was nearly constricting you, but you were a little more used to it, and you could breathe easier than you could at your debutante. It was a small victory, but you would take it.

Since the Hunte’s lived on the other side of the upper-class neighborhood from you, your mother had actually sprung for a vehicle rather than fighting your way through the light flurries of snow that were beginning to fall. You were hoping you were close. The constant motion was aggravating to your stomach.

Miraculously, it seems your prayers are heard, for mere minutes later, the automobile comes to a stop and the driver exits to help you and your mother out. For better or worse, it was time.

From there, it's a short walk to the foyer of the Hunte’s grand estate. There's a small line of people preparing to enter, and you could see the whole Hunte family waiting and greeting their guests at the entrance. You follow your mother into the queue, as you attempt to be discreet while looking for Mr. Onceler. You were sure he’d be there. Society always had to invite other members of society, no matter if they were new money, or even if you disliked someone. Manners and etiquette ruled supreme in this world, and most followed the rules strictly and exactly.

As you reach the front of the line, you can’t help but notice that Thomas Hunte’s eyes seem to follow you. He smiles warmly as he and the rest of his family greets you, causing your mother to get an awful smug look on her face. You tried faking cordiality as much as possible, but you couldn’t stop the pit that's quickly forming in your gut. You had a strong feeling that this was going to cause a problem.

But thankfully, the problem could be postponed, at least for a little while. You had made it inside, while he was still stuck at the front. You resume your careful scan of the room, eyes searching for Mr. Onceler, but before you get far, you hear a voice call out “Darling!” from behind you.

You turn on your heel and spot Alice Eaton, who, after Nellie, you’d probably consider your closest friend. Your parents and her parents had been close as well, so you’d spent a decent amount of your childhood with Alice. However, you hadn’t seen her in over a year since she’d gone to England with her family so her father could collect an inheritance from a relative who’d passed away.

“Oh, Alice, it’s lovely to see you!” you smile, genuinely happy to see her again. “You should’ve written to me, I hadn’t known you were back yet.”

“Oh, where’s the fun in that?” Alice laughs. “I would have said something, but we only arrived back in the states a week ago, and when Mother told me about this invitation, I thought it would be a fantastic idea to surprise you here.”

You beam at her. “Well, your mission has succeeded. I’m thrilled you made it back in time.”

Alice smiles back at you before beckoning you over to the side a bit. You knew exactly what was coming next. Like many New York women and girls, Alice simply loved to gossip.

“Do you see that man in the corner? The tall one with the dark hair?” she giggles as soon as you’re close enough. You have a very shrewd suspicion as to who that could be, and sure enough, when you glance in the direction she points out, you finally find Mr. Onceler, standing in the middle of a group of men, smoking a cigar.

He’s also blatantly staring right at you.

You quickly turn away and back to Alice, though you can still feel his gaze burning into your back. “Yes, that’s Mr. Onceler. I met him about a month ago at my debutante,” you say, doing your best to keep your voice even.

“Then you’ll know exactly how rich he is,” Alice trills. “Father’s been absolutely pressuring me to start seriously thinking about getting married now that I’m out, and I think I’ve found my preference. I mean, look at him. Wealthy and handsome? I don’t think it can get much better than that!” She takes out her fan and gives herself a bit of a breeze, seemingly unaware of the surprising agony her words just put you through.

“You’re not worried about your father rejecting him? He is new money after all,” you say, probably too quickly to sound natural, but Alice doesn’t pick up on it. She’s too busy waving away your words before you’re even done speaking.

“That won’t matter to my family,” she insists. “At least, they’ve never brought it up before. I know your mother has lectured you on the ‘dangers’ of new money, but it’s an archaic way of thinking. We’re both eventually going to be rich in our own rights with no brothers to steal our inheritance, so it doesn’t matter if husband’s are bad with money. We’ll be protected.”

You feel an unfamiliar hot streak run through your body at her words, and it takes you a moment to realize the feeling is jealousy. It doesn’t make any sense as to why you would feel that way, however. You knew Alice’s family was absolutely not experiencing financial worry, and she didn’t know that you were. It had never bothered you before. Why would you suddenly care now?

Then she glances towards Mr. Onceler again, and that hot streak flashes through you once more, making you start from shock.

Oh. Oh no. That can’t be right. You couldn’t possibly be getting jealous over her obvious interest in Mr. Onceler. That was absurd. Besides, there was nothing to fret over. Alice, though indeed a good friend, could be a bit flighty, and she was also perfectly mannered around men. She didn’t seem like she would be his type.

And yet, your reassurances to yourself still couldn’t stop the twinge of jealousy. Alice was regarded as a beauty, one of New York’s brightest jewels. You weren’t plain-looking, but you knew Alice’s beauty far exceeded your own, and her ever-present smile fit her playful personality. By contrast, you were a bit quieter, preferring to sit on the side and observe every once in a while. It wouldn’t be out of the realm of possibility that he would take notice and at least consider her…

God, what was the matter with you? Poor Alice had done nothing to earn your ire; she had no idea the two of you were courting. And you certainly didn’t care if he thought someone was fairer than you so long as he didn’t break the courtship. You weren’t trying to gain his utmost affection. So long as your arrangement went through, he was at perfect liberty to fancy whomever he pleased.

You must just be having residual doubts that he would actually go through with the courtship if another girl caught his eye… yes, that was the only explanation. Your sole concern was for the security he promised you, nothing more.

At least, that’s what you were telling yourself. And you would continue to do so until you were fully convinced of it. Because it had to be the truth. There was no other possible reason.

Meanwhile, during your turmoil, Alice was still chatting away, as if she noticed nothing. “I’ve seen him looking this way several times. I hope that means he likes what he’s seeing,” she sighs. “I very much hope he asks me to dance first.” She hums happily at this thought, while you’re made more and more uncomfortable. “Although, speaking of men, I’ve also noticed a certain young Mr. Hunte glancing in this direction a few times as well,” she grins devilishly. “He’d be one to meet your mother’s one requirement. The Hunte’s are one of the most established families in New York, and rich as far back as anyone can remember. He’d be such a lovely match for you.” She sighs dreamily again, seemingly unbothered by your lack of response. 

Still, it was probably time you offered one anyway. “Alice, your ability to dream is remarkable,” you say with a soft laugh so that she would know you were jesting. Mostly.

Alice flashes another grin at you. “Well, as Mother’s always reminding me, we’re only young and beautiful once. We have to enjoy it and all the perks that come with it while we can.” She calls over one of the wait staff and grabs two glasses of champagne, one of which she hands to you. “To a night of thrilling romance as befits us!” she toasts.

You raise your glass with her, though you’re unable to match her smile. It seemed as though she, your mother, and probably several of the more observant members of society, had already decided you were a perfect match for Thomas Hunte. Perhaps a month ago you would have thought the same, but no longer. You’d never done anything remotely scandalous in your life, and yet here you were, carrying a secret that could become the source of gossip for months.

And the more people who seem determined to box you in, the more likely it was that this secret would be revealed. If Thomas Hunte approached your mother, you would have no choice but to tell her you were already in a committed courtship, and that you had done so without her consent.

It was too much to bear. Your vision starts to tunnel, the edges going black… your head feels fuzzy…

The next thing you’re aware of, you’re looking up into the bright lights of the ceiling, countless featureless faces hovering over you. You blink a few times before it registers that you must have lost consciousness. But instead of lying on the hard floor, there’s a pair of arms encircling you.

And sure enough, when your vision slowly starts to come back into focus, the face that’s by far the closest to you, and looking more concerned than all the rest combined, is Mr. Onceler.

“Are you alright?” he asks, worry coating every word. Something about his tone made you feel as though you were the only two people in the room, even with just that simple sentence.

God almighty, what was he doing to you? The more you were around him, the more you seemed to lose your mind.

You stare up at him blankly for a moment, trying to control your emotions, before you realize he’s probably waiting for an answer. “Um, I’m fine. It’s just hot in here,” you mumble. “I think I just need some air.”

“Of course,” he says as he gingerly helps you to your feet. Several other people surge forward to help, Alice and Thomas Hunte among them, but he brushes them off without a second glance. Keeping one hand firmly holding yours, the other hovering near the small of your back, he leads you out to a blessedly deserted balcony, though he’s careful to at least keep the door open so you’re in view of the rest of the party.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” he asks again the second you’re alone.

“I’m fine,” you reiterate, a bit stubbornly, but you weren’t lying. The cool night air is revitalizing, and all you really feel is embarrassment that you fainted in the first place. “There is one thing I don’t understand,” you say, mostly to stop him fretting over you. “How did you reach me so fast? The last I saw you, you were on the other side of the room. I doubt I was unconscious for more than a couple seconds, and lack of pain tells me you must have caught me before I hit the ground.”

“I noticed you growing pale,” he murmurs. “Therefore, I hastened over as quickly as I could. I’ve noticed that high-class women are particularly prone to swooning. Thankfully, I reached you in time to catch you.”

The swooning comment makes you glare at him. “It’s only because of the corsets,” you huff indignantly. “They very much constrict our ability to breathe. I assure you, this is not a common occurrence for me.” He still looks a bit amused at your assertion, so you turn away from him. He really did delight in vexing you, but you were in no mood for it at present.

It’s quiet for a few moments before he speaks up again. “I fear I might have given our situation away,” he says haltingly. “Your friend was giving me odd looks when I escorted you out of there. Is she likely to figure us out?”

“Possibly,” you sigh. Alice was sharp as a nail when it came to how people interacted with each other. She was a whiz at spying who was having affairs amongst your peers. “Her look could have just been jealousy, though. She’s quite determined to have you for herself.” You glance in his direction to try and gauge his reaction to this revelation.

“Is she?” If anything, his amusement only grows. “Well, if that’s the case, I’m afraid she’s going to be disappointed. I have no intention of breaking off our arrangement to pursue her.” You have to work hard to conceal the delight his words give you, which bothered you a bit. It was far too extreme of a reaction for a courtship of convenience.

“She’ll be most upset,” you say, hoping to sound blasé. “I don’t know if I can continue with this, knowing I’ll be hurting a dear friend of mine.”

“You have the power to end this, if you want,” he says, though he’s smirking as he does so. He knows you’re bluffing, and he’s also fully aware that you have no desire to end this either. You’d see this through to the end, to secure safety for yourself and your mother. And hopefully, she would soon see that your choice would indeed save you.

But seeing this through meant… oh, God, you just realized something. This man next to you was going to be your husband. You knew from the moment you said yes to having him court you where it was leading, but this was the first time you’d actually fully understood what that was. This was not just someone you were in a courtship with. Despite not being engaged just yet, there was no doubt in your mind that Mr. Onceler would indeed be your future husband.

Something about your face must have changed, because he quirks an eyebrow and takes a step closer to you. “What’s wrong?” he asks, his voice lower than usual. “You don’t feel lightheaded again, do you? Do you need to sit down?”

“No… no, I feel fine.” Had his eyes always been so blue? They were deeper than the Long Island Sound. “I'm perfect actually,” you hear yourself whisper.

The change in the atmosphere is palpable. Something had happened between the two of you, though you weren't quite sure what it was just yet. But you're certain it's there, for he seems to feel it too; his eyes darken and he takes a tentative step closer to you.

“There you are!” The loud voice of Mrs. Ryan rings through the night, making you snap your head over to her, and utterly shattering whatever moment had been building between the two of you. “You better get out there if you want this to remain a secret; your absences have been noticed,” she says while gesturing for you both to follow her back in.

Mr. Onceler reaches her before you do, and she uses the opportunity to grab him by his collar and drag him down to her level. “You better propose to that girl quickly after the mess I just had to clean up for you,” she hisses. You think that was supposed to be meant for his ears alone, but you hear every word.

You can't figure out his reaction, however. He keeps his face carefully away from you and declines to give a verbal response as he stands to his full height, straightens out his jacket, and heads back into the room. Mrs. Ryan shakes her head after him.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do with that boy,” she sighs before turning to you. “Alright, honey, I think we need to have a quick conversation if you intend to keep this from your mother until you get a ring on your finger.” She beckons you closer with a stern look, though beneath it she still gives off a motherly aura. You sigh, but figure it’s better to keep her happy. She was an ally, and one that you did not want to lose.

You walk over and the two of you reenter the party together. “I know you didn’t faint on purpose, but you need to be careful,” she stresses in a surprisingly quiet voice; you can only just make her out. “There was no way to stop him from catching you, that’s not in his nature. But you could’ve just thanked him and gone about your night, and it would’ve been fine. But when you go off on your own after such a spectacle, well, everyone’s bound to notice that. It took everything I had to convince your mother that nothing was going on, and that he only wanted to make sure you wouldn’t pass out again. You can’t afford any more public spectacles until you’re declared for each other. Dot’s not a stupid woman, and he has not done a good job of hiding his preference for you. She knows that he’s interested, and that terrifies her. You need to get engaged quickly, or she will catch on, and it will cause a state-wide scandal,” she warns with massive gravity.

Her words cause you to wilt a bit. “I know she doesn’t approve,” you say carefully. You can’t be as free with your words with her as you are with Mr. Onceler. “But I am a woman grown, and I must have the liberty to make my own choices. He has afforded me that opportunity. I shall not go back on my choice now.”

Mrs. Ryan gives you a look, and for a moment you fear she’s going to remark on your bluff. His giving you the power of choice was only one reason you had agreed to his courtship, and not even the primary reason. But Mrs. Ryan couldn’t know about the financial aspect… could she? Had he told her?

But the look passes, and she says nothing. You can breathe freely once again. Instead she just says, “I’ll help you in what ways I can, but I can only do so much. I told him, and I’ll tell you again: the quicker you get engaged, the better.” She tips her chin in a direction behind you. “Your mother’s coming. Be careful,” she insists before she waves her hand in acknowledgment of your mother. “She’s fine, Dot. I’ve got her here, and she’s right as rain.”

You turn to face your mother, who’s more frazzled than you’ve ever seen her in public before. “Yes… thank you,” she mutters to Mrs. Ryan before turning her full attention to you. She takes your arm and pulls you to the side. “What were you thinking? Causing a scene like that! And then going off with him,” she hisses in your ear.

“It’s not like I planned it,” you huff. “I told you before we left, the corset was too tight.” Your mother at least has the decency to look abashed at that comment, as well as being offended that you would speak to her in such a manner. But she was going to have to get used to it. If you could learn to stand up for yourself now, you’d be better prepared for when you told her of your relationship (for want of a better word) with Mr. Onceler. And speaking of him…

“I did not know he was behind me when I fainted. How could I?” you say, hoping that by speaking the truth now, it would make your pending lie more believable. “I didn’t even realize who I was with until he led me to the balcony. Even then, he only stayed to ensure I did not faint again. It was all very cordial, I assure you.”

Your mother now seems quite taken aback, so you can only assume you’ve convinced her. However, true to form, she recovers to scold you again in record time. “Whatever might have happened, you must work doubly hard to ensure Thomas Hunte that he has your affections. We are on the precipice of what will save or ruin us. You cannot allow foolish mistakes to lead us to ruin, especially not with New Money.”

“I know perfectly well what I am to do, Mother,” you say coldly. “I fully intend to secure our fates, and I know what I must do for it. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to rejoin the evening. I can’t give us a future from here.” With that, you turn your back on her, leaving her looking more affronted than ever. You even think you spotted the tiniest hint of shame.

Head held high, you walk back into the throng of people, and before a minute has passed, you see Alice, looking to be well on her way to accosting you next. “I’m fine, Alice, really, don’t make a fuss–”

“Why did you not tell me you and Mr. Onceler were courting?” she interrupts, acting like she didn’t hear a word you just said. You feel your eyes go involuntarily wide.

Oh no.

[wikiwis]

Baby Ted

Onceler and Norma were sitting on the couch flipping through a family photo album. On Onceler's lap sat their only six-year-old grandson, Ted. "Grandpy, who is it?" The boy pointed to the photograph, which showed a girl about 5-6 years old. She was wearing a purple flowered dress and had a bow in her lush, dark, brown curls. Her eyes were brown and she was holding a teddy bear in her hand. She was, of course, Onceler and Norma's daughter, Bernice.

Onceler looked at the photographs and smiled at the thought of his daughter, who was still a little girl then.

"This is your mom, Ted." The old man smiled at his grandson. Ted frowned and looked at his grandfather and then at his grandma who was sitting next to him.

"It's not mom. Mom is not a little girl. Mom's big and she doesn't wear bows." Onceler and Norma snorted soft giggles. "You think your mom was always grown up, Ted?" Onceler looked at the boy. "Yes, that's how it works. Mom was always adult, and you were always old." Onceler smiled and stroked Ted's hair.

"It doesn't work like that, Teddy. Me and Grandpa were young once, and your mother was once a little girl." - Norma stroked her grandson's cheek. Ted looked even more confused than before. "You youngsters? Nah, you've always been grandparents, haven't you?"

"Well, not always. We weren't your grandparents when we were young." - Onceler turns a page in the album. "Look, do you see this gentleman here? That's me when I was young." He smiled proudly of how he looked in his youth.

"And you were beautiful." Norma laughed. Onceler looked at her with a smirk. "Oh, Normie. I'm still beautiful and don't say no."

"Grandpy, it's not you." They were interrupted by the voice of a small boy who was still sitting on the older man's lap. "This man has black hair and no mustache and is much younger than you. And you have gray hair and a big mustache and you're terribly wrinkled." Onceler sighed and hugged his grandson. He couldn't help it, Ted was so sweet and innocent.

"Yes, it's me, Teddy. That's how it works, you know? You'll be an adult someday too. Look, this is your grammy when she was young." He pointed to a photograph of a young woman wearing glasses. Ted looked at the photos and frowned again. "But this lady has brown hair and is taller than Grammy". Norma smiled softly and sighed. "You know, I've aged. I'm not such a young and pretty woman anymore."

"Oh, Norma." Onceler leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. "You'll always be beautiful to me. Even if you've aged a little." He gave her a genuine smile. "Thanks, Oncie."

"So..." a boy's voice said. "This man is Grandpy, this lady is Grammy and this girl is Mom?" Ted looked at Onceler.

"Mhm, that's right Ted." He smiled gently at his grandson.

That same day, in the evening, Ted was already in his bed at his house. That day he learned that apart from the fact that his mother was once a little girl and his grandparents were young people, he also learned that Mom's name is not Mom but Bernice, Grammy is not Grammy but Norma, and Grandpy is not Grandpy but Onceler. The boy was still confused but eventually went to sleep, apparently getting too much information for one day.

However, you always learn something new from your grandparents.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Something I made because I was bored. I hope you like it. I was inspired by a question received to @all-things-normaler. Hehe. Imagine little Ted spending his holidays with his grandparents🥹

[kissorkill16]

Who Taught The Onceler To Knit?: A Lorax Fanfic

By JJ

Summary: We're going to find out who taught the Onceler to knit.

This fanfic is for @hellcat5698 on Deviantart

Isabella was just sitting by the fireplace, knitting something, minding her own business. It was a secret that she loved to knit, almost as much as her son, Onceler. She liked to make little dolls for her children, and each time they asked her where she got the dolls, she'd say it was a little secret of hers that she'd like to keep.

She added a few stitches here and there, and then she was finally done. It was a little doll, a doll that looked similar to the Onceler. She sewed a few more finishing touches on it, and with those few finishing touches, he now looked like a puppet.

Yes, that's what she thought her son was. A puppet she liked to use for her bidding, something she liked to control. She already had him wrapped around her finger, so it would make a whole lot of sense that she considered him a puppet.

She walked to her small cabinet, filled with other unfinished dolls of the rest of her family, and hung him on the shiny silver hook in the middle. That's when she heard a voice.

"Mom?"

It was her son, Onceler. Standing in the doorway, wearing a white shirt, green-striped tie, black pants, black hat, and black dress shoes.

"Can I ask you something?"

Isabella closed the small cabinet, "Of course, Oncie. Come on in.", she spoke in an innocent voice. The Onceler walked in the room, his shadow nearly showing the puppet strings his mother sewed onto the similar doll.

"Alright, Oncie. What did you want to talk about?"

The Onceler shamefully looked at the floor, trying to come up with the right words to say. "Well, Mom. I love you very much, and I would hate to accuse you of doing anything bad, and I don't want to make it sound like I'm accusing you of doing anything bad. I'm not saying I am, it's just that-"

Isabella sighed, "Spit it out, Oncie. You know mama doesn't like to be kept waiting."

With all the courage he could muster up, he sucked in a deep breath and finally said "Mom, I feel like you're only in this whole Thneed business for the money. Before, you said I wouldn't ever amount to anything, and now that I'm making all of this money, you say that you were only trying to motivate me."

Isabella's eyes widened, as if someone had slapped her in the face. "Oncie, of course I'm not in this for the money. Who fed you a lie like that?"

The Onceler didn't want to tell his mother about the Lorax, there's no way she would believe him. And it's like the Lorax said...

Only those who have a deep connection with nature shall see the almighty Lorax.

And Isabella didn't have a connection with nature of any kind. But he wanted to get this off his chest, he wanted to be honest with her, he loved his mother too much to keep secrets from her.

"Mom, I know you're probably not going to believe me, but it's worth a shot."

The Onceler inhaled another long breath, mustering up all the courage he had.

"There's this little furry orange thing, he goes by the Lorax, and he's an almighty guardian of the forest. He says that if you have a deep connection with nature, then you'll be able to see him, and I have this deep connection with nature I didn't know I even had. I was talking to him last night and he was saying that you were only in this whole Thneed business for the money, I didn't want to believe him, because I love you too much to believe anything bad about you. I thought he was bluffing, but then I decided that maybe I should ask you myself."

Isabella's face was blank for a moment, then she put on a condescending look.

"Oncie, have you been taking your pills like the doctor said?"

"Yes, Mom."

"Then why are you coming to me with nonsense like this?"

"Mom, it's not nonsense. I really-"

Isabella put a finger to her son's lips, shushing him. "Oncie, let me tell you what that little orange thing is. That's just the little voice in your head, trying to convince you that you're doing something wrong, but the truth is you're not doing anything wrong. The thing you call the Lorax is just in your head, either that, or your schizophrenia is acting up as always. Oncie, take my advice. If you ever see that thing ever again, just stay calm and take your pill."

The Onceler just nodded, believing his mother knew best. He wasn't doing anything wrong, he was just biggering, the Lorax didn't know what he was talking about, he was just a figment of his imagination. When he turned to leave, his mother said something else.

"Oncie, one more thing."

The Onceler turned around.

"I'm not in this for the money, I'm in this for you. I love you, Oncie, and I love your ideas. You're doing everything just great, so don't you worry your head. You've made me so proud."

The Onceler nodded and left the room completely.

It was true, Isabella really did love her son. But she also loved how easy he was to manipulate.

The Onceler kept repeating his mother's words in his head, how the Lorax was just a figment of his imagination, how he wasn't doing anything wrong. Once he got to his office, he filled a glass of water, put a pill in it, and chugged the whole thing down.

[jitteryjive]

WOOOHOO (cracks my knuckles) I have not drawn Gross Art (/pos) in a while!!!! man. all for one damn scene in crime express

content warning for the following: depictions of explicit blood, minor body horror/modification, major eye trauma, and general themes of murder.

this is not fetish art. it is a person getting mutilated ! if you think it’s just violent transformation art that caters to your fetish please kindly fuck off and don’t interact

VICTORIA APPROACHED ME

WITH A FIRE IN HER EYES

AND I SWEAR, AND I SWEAR

I WAS BURNING ALIVE

HEY SO. I think it’s time I actually like. talked about the plot of crime express?????

yeah so what I always meant by “it’s a murder mystery but nobody dies and a crime’s committed hahaha!!” is because the plot is that. except. the crime committed is “someone who’s carrying a bullet containing a serum/drug is picking people to ‘cure’ and mutilate with their bullets” and the detective frantically tries to stop this because the exact same incident happened the last time on the same train and she couldn’t prevent this last time

OKAY. OKAY. let me go back. you know how there’s humans and toons. there aren’t a lot of toons and humans and toons are generally conflicting because of ongoing speciesism between them and because toons can shapeshift very very lowscale (oh you know. cartoon physics LOL) like. hundreds/thousands of years ago humans thought they would use this ability to wipe out the human race and therefore like a fucking war happened and shit. I haven’t figured it out but basically there is very bad tension because human ancestors were fucking idiots

and the reason why someone is going around and mutilating specific humans into things called artificial toons (toons that can’t shapeshift and were artificially made by the antag of crime express but shittily so like. there’s a lot of malfunctions involved ie this guy, mason, etc. like limbs will be permanently broken or they’ll go deaf, etc) is because they think. hey this person who is a huge disrespect to toons should learn what it’s like to be treated like scum constantly ! (nuts kicking sound effect) also that’s why it’s called ‘curing’ according to the antag because they believe doing this is curing the population of humans. fucked up shit I know rigjt

BTW this is the british guy his name is Julius Cuccumb B) (he/him) love him so much his only flaw is that he’s bri’ish

his name is a pun because. julius as a ref to julius caesar (who we all know was murdered supposedly by a friend of his) and cuccumb as 1. he looks like a cucumber since he’s a fucking twink dressed in green (ONCELER /JJJJ) and 2. succumb. as in. he’s ‘cured’ first. (yeah it’s mostly a he dies lol pun)

+ lazy ref of the guy I made before he gets cured

other than that. I hope that clears up the weird mysterious haze I had over crime express. yes! it’s a weird fucked up body horror story that aligns with most murder mysteries! with its own lore of course, could never forget that >:)

ALSO NOW THAT IVE EXPLAINED THE PLOT the crime express song ever [victoria by jukebox the ghost]!

[jesterjamz]

[id: a gif of wayneradiotv dressed as michael myers dancing in front of a graveyard that he is greenscreened in front of. end id]

- call me jester, theo, jam, otto, ollie, milo, or moondrop! - they/it/he + neos - asexual lesbian enby - semiprofessional twitch streamer. - regrettably a cafer - i was the person who edited jerma over the onceler's face on the sexypedia. that was me. - here's my old pinned post if you want it lol - please commission me - HERES MY WEBCOMIC LOL - hey if you want me to follow u, you can just ask lol - yes im the tally hall magical girl au person. yes ive lost interest in it (FOR NOW) its on an indefinite hiatus. - here’s my discord lol - toy hounse

[flightfoot]

Adrichat Hell - Day 30 - Wedding

AO3

@adrichatnovember2020

Marinette still wasn’t totally sure how this had happened.

Yes she’d been the wedding planner, but she was half-convinced she was dreaming the whole time she worked to set it up. 

At first glance, it looked like a normal party. Balloons, streamers, tables with food (catered by a combination of her parents and Alya’s mom of course), even a turntable for Nino and a stage.

She didn’t know what the stage was for exactly. The wedding ceremony she guessed? Adrien had been pretty vague about why he needed it.

At least his reasons for needing the Mouse and Fox Miraculous were pretty clear. Using three Miraculous at once wasn’t generally advised, but he’d practiced while she was there to help, and it didn’t seem likely to be outright dangerous. Unlike when she’d used several Miraculous at once, he was only wearing the ones he needed, which should limit the exhaustion.

While she’d helped arrange most of it, such as setting up the tables, catering, inviting friends, etc., there were a few things Adrien had insisted on tending to himself.

Looking around, she frowned. Adrien had insisted on inviting Luka personally; so where was he?

*strumming noises*

Ah, must be Luka! Different guitar than usual, but he did have… some… variety…

Her jaw dropped.

Luka strode onto the stage wearing a giant top hat, a monstrosity of a green suit, blue sunglasses, and… was that a red rose in his lapel? Well she knew what Adrien had contributed to the ensemble.

“How ba-a-a-ad can I be? I'm just doin' what comes naturally,” Lukaler belted out, playing the guitar while he sang.

“How ba-a-a-ad can I be? I'm just following my destiny.”

...Marinette felt like she should’ve seen this coming. She didn’t know HOW she was supposed to see it coming, but she should have.

As Lukaler continued the song that she was sure would be playing incessantly in her head for the next month, many of her friends who had initially just stopped and stared, shrugged and started dancing instead.

Lukaler finished singing his signature song, abruptly changing it to “Here Comes the Bride”. 

Chat Noir approached the stage, wearing a modified version of his suit, turning it into a leather dress. Could’ve used some more color to it, but Plagg did what he could.

Meanwhile, Adrien approached from the other side, wearing the fitted suit Marinette had modified. Though she’d had to REfit it once they both realized that in reality, he’d still be wearing his Chat Noir suit underneath it.

Figuring out how to pull this off was a little tricky. They could’ve just had one be an illusion of course, but then they’d go POOF super easily, plus they wouldn’t really still be Adrien. 

The Mouse Miraculous solved the duplication problem, but then Adrien wouldn’t exactly look like ADRIEN, would he?

Ultimately he ended up using all three Miraculous - the Mouse so he could be in two places at once, the Black Cat so he could be Chat Noir, and the Fox to disguise that he was transformed using the Mouse as both Adrien and Chat Noir. 

“Do you, Chat Noir, take Adrien to be your husband, through good times and bad, through sickness and through health, through whatever trials and tribulations may await you, ‘til death do you part?”

“I do,” Chat Noir said, eyes trained on… wait, was Adrien seriously blushing? Maybe it was just an illusion, but… at this point, she didn’t want to know.

“And do you, Adrien, take Chat Noir to be your husband, through good times and bad, through sickness and through health, through whatever trials and tribulations may await you, ‘til death do you part?”

“I do.”

“Then I pronounce you-” Lukaler strummed his guitar, “partners for life!”

Chat Noir gently lifted Adrien up in a bridal carry, bringing him closer, the sun playing on their hair so they almost appeared to be glowing with marital bliss, until they locked in a passionate kiss.

Marinette ducked her head, trying to deal with the VERY confused emotions going on inside of her.

Lukaler launching into a song to the tune of “Biggering” about the importance of self-love and breaking free from abusive influences was NOT helping.

But…

Looking at all her friends dancing and clapping, having fun, getting together for the first time since Hawkmoth’s defeat?

Maybe “confusing” was okay.

...she still wanted to know why Luka just happened to have a Onceler outfit available at the drop of a hat though.

“STOP!”

Marinette’s head swiveled to the voice, along with the rest of the crowd.

A boy stood at the side of the stage wearing one of those Viperion costumes that’d been gaining popularity lately, complete with…

...Ok after this was over she was going to find whoever was making these rubber masks and try to find a way to make them less nightmare-inducing. She didn’t even want to know what her own mask would look like.

(Yes she did)

(It’d be great for pranking her Kitty later)

“Lukaler, Lukaler, my dude Lukaler,” Ninoperion opined (no one else said “dude” as much as he did; she’d have to talk to him about breaking that habit while in disguise, or else Alya wouldn’t be the only one to figure out his secret identity). “I have loved you from afar for so long, have counted every day that goes by without your presence, longing only to set eyes on you once more. I- I dare not to ask, for I am simply a superhero, and you? You are an icon, rising from the ashes, never able to be killed (as much as some may have tried) but simply reincarnating in a new form, but- would you marry me?”

What.

What even.

Lukaler strutted over to Ninoperion, gently cupping his chin in his hands, tilting it upwards. “I have been watching you too,” he purred, “You underestimate yourself, for I have always loved you.” He strummed a few chords on his guitar. “Let us make sweet music together!”

NOPE.

Marinette spun around, walking back home.

“Hey, where are you going?” Chat Noir shouted at her.

“TO BED. WAKE ME UP WHEN THE WORLD MAKES SENSE AGAIN!”

“Do you think we overdid it?” Adrien wondered.

Ninoperion shrugged. “Alya’s taping this, she can catch Marinette up later. In the meantime, we have a second wedding to get underway!”

@gale-of-the-nomads invented the monstrosity known as Lukaler, and I just couldn’t pass up the opportunity. I dunno who started the whole “Luka is Nino” thing, but I had to include it as well!

[elleroodles]

wait hello i'm late but. could you perhaps provide more context about the guy who dressed up as the onceler and performed how bad can i be. i am incredibly intrigued. also ily el

hello andy ily and yes i can. to fully understand this boy would be impossible but i will certainly try my best. so there’s always an end of the year talent show, right, and normally there’s a bunch of normal acts but this year. it was different. there were no tryouts for teachers to approve acts, so all you had to do to get in the talent show was ask the junior who organized it. this led to the oddest selection of talents i have ever seen in my life, and among them, there’s this dude named ben. i cannot begin to describe ben’s impact on my school. he’s like a celebrity. he has a proper following, who he calls the bengang. when he got up on stage he did some weird call and response thing with said members of the bengang and it weirded everyone out. anyways, ben’s act was to dress up as the onceler, which i’m sure you pieced together by now, and well. he got PRETTY far. there was some fumbling with the lyrics but all in all it was impressive. it was also an incredible cosplay. i had no idea it was ben until the bengang went absolutely wild

[fablecoingolf]

thots on LOGAN, on REAVER, on BEN FINN,

oh man, this might be long I warn you! I’m not sure how best to format it I think I’m gonna do like dots, coz otherwise it’ll be just a massive block of text

LOGAN:

honestly not as many thoughts as the other two aside from “nerd” and “inconsistent face” I look forward to trying to draw him one day and by look forward to I mean dread very much!!!

he’s totally not cishet look how he sits and his colour palette is pretty close to the ace flag so, though since he’s the villain for the decent amount of the game it’s important to be careful with that

I think that his design in combination with how the hobw tends to look feels antisemitic in a way that is recurring in fable that should be addressed more often I really hope if 4 ever happens they change the like good/evil morph pretty considerably, 3 is an improvement though

I don’t have many feelings towards him though as a character, there’s a thing with tone in 3 that I’ll talk about more with reaver that influences this I think, and just in general he sort of exists separately to everyone for most of the game, like he’s the player characters brother you should feel Something but there’s just no like. anything to their interactions. what’s his relationship like with theresa, with walter, with like Anyone, he just monologues at a map!!! do something talk to someone half a character is their interactions!!!! fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

like he’s fun I’ve made posts about him before, on a surface level he’s fun but like past that I just don’t really feel anything towards him? so it’s kind of hard to talk about him

I had an image of him up on my screen while writing this so this entire time he’s been staring me down hdkdj

the uh, like art of him with, the front of the armor that’s shaped like a crown is very funny that’s supposed to go on your head what are you doing

I have my own idea of how Hero stuff works because this is my canon now and I can’t be stopped and I really don’t like some parts of how they say it works, but I don’t know if now is the best place or time to talk about that, it’s partially relevant to all these characters but it’s kind of hard to explain and I feel like by the time I reach the end of this I’ll have no more words so I should really save them? I don’t know, I bring it up because it’s relevant though I just can’t decide

REAVER:

it’s funny that that’s his name, dude’s not very creative huh? like a clothier named Tailor, we get it george you steal things

I mean my name is crow because.I like crows..but I’M allowed to name myself stupid things because I’M sexy and cool and awesome and my ideas are good ones always (sarcasm)

for real though my thoughts here are complicated because there are parts to this character that touch on things that I like(pirates,cool spooky void stuff,) but those don’t get like, any focus

I like him in 2! I only like him in 2. aside from the weird character design decisions 3 made, theres the tone thing I mentioned at logan that I’ve been thinking about lately I’m not sure I can word it right but I’ll give it a shot!

so like, I think, fable likes to be funny, the feel it generally goes for is fun and it’s a fantasy game yknow? characters like jack of blades and lady grey (and the crawler kiiiind of? a bit) are obviously bad but because of either the way the game treats them or the way the game feels or the things they do theyre fun villains who I like! reaver in 2 falls into this I think, yes pirates are real but, like knights and stuff there’s. I can’t think how to word it, there’s a difference between historical knights and fantasy knights and reaver is a fantasy pirate, the shadow court stuff is obviously bad but that’s also not real? the tone of 2 is more serious than 1 and I haven’t replayed it in a while so I’d have to play it to know how it lands Exactly. but reaver in 3 hits too real with actual things and lady grey is also evil rich person but the tone of the game carries that where 3 is serious about it and it’s effects that’s like the whole point and you can have a character and a game that does that but you can’t have that character Also be the fun villain because then it confuses things, that’s Also not to say the fun villain can’t be interesting or like metaphors or whatever obviously it’s just The Feel of the thing, fable 3 can have its evil factory guy but reaver isn’t the character for that for so many reasons. I really don’t think I explained this in a way that makes any sense I can try to word it clearer another time maybe

I have fixed this internal problem I have by pretending very very hard that reaver isn’t in 3 and that’s just some other guy and that’s fixed all of my problems, even that stuff aside from a character perspective I don’t buy it

I have a whole thing about what he’s doing in 3 because I don’t know who the onceler guy is but that’s not him. it’s very neat I think please ask me about it I need an excuse to talk about it and this is already an excuse sure but it’s already very long

anyone else noticed that he always wears things that cover his neck? I noticed it when compiling reference images for my animal crossing thing and I hate to give you the bad news but I am certain he’d never wear the sexy pirate shirt, if I had to design modern clothes for him he’d have a turtleneck

I feel like I could read into the way he dresses (gloves, high neck,yknow?) in an interesting way actually but I’d need to think on it more

also actually before I keep pretending he’s not in 3 I don’t want to brush over the transmisogyny in the poster which is supposed to be viewed as a positive thing since it shows up, like when the rebellion is progressing right? I don’t remember the exact point of the game but you get what I mean. or the dress which would be fine if he wasn’t an antagonist in this game + the poster making it clear it’s intended to be something to be made fun of

I have made pokemon teams for the fable 2 heros because I think about them a lot and pokemon a lot and I want to share but I might wait until I’m in a pokemon brain space so it’s easier for me to, but I have Thoughts

the man who lives forever by lord huron has oakvale reaver vibes for obvious reasons and it’s also a good song and you should listen to it

a few lord huron songs do actually but I don’t want to associate those other ones with him in my brain because I like them and,like, it’s not my fault our aesthetics overlap!! I hate that!!!!!! I’M the sexier bi/pan nonbinary occult pirate Back Off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He gets ONE lord huron song, ONE, no more!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have a few conflicting ideas of oakvale reaver actually I need to settle on one but I’m not sure which I’m gonna go with, one that song matches with way better

he wins second place in having inconsistent face hdkdhk

I’m always torn talking about him for like all the reasons I’ve stated and like, people talk about him plenty and maybe what I could say is different coz I think I interpret the character different to the way I see a lot, but it feels like I could put my energy elsewhere better same reason why it feels weird to draw him? he’s popular adding to that pile rather than like anyone else would feel weird of me, but my brain latches on to pirate and goes wild coz they’re important to me separately so, yknow I’m torn

I could say more probably coz like I said the fable 2 heros are my favourites and I have the most thoughts on them, but I’ve been writing this for actual hours coz words are very difficult to make and I have stuff I need to do today

anyway the oakvale ghost pirate is still cooler, he says yarrrrr and Didnt cause oakvales destruction, and he loves his wife!!! that’s like +1000 sexy points!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and he’s a ghost which rocks

BEN FINN:

he’s good : ) !

I like him! he’s good

my thoughts here are very simple and I can’t elaborate past “: ) !!!”

oh he’s trans and bi

and while I usually don’t care about ships unless they’re the seafaring kind, page+hobw+ben finn is cute

he’s just good I have nothing to say and no complicated feelings i just think he’s neat : ) !

one day I’ll elaborate on the hero thing I was talking about with logan I just don’t have the energy right now

I genuinely can’t think of anything right now I’m sorry hdkdjf I just like him that’s enough!!

[robinoakapple]

I can ... actually see Ruthven Murgatroyd as a potential tumblr sexyman in tumblr's musical fandom if the opera was a bit more well known on this site. He's got that cute but (reluctantly) villainous duality thing that so many tumblr sexymen have. Also, his personality is weird enough with his little quirks like his passive-aggressive modesty to be a cult favorite.

First of all: thank you for this ask. Words cannot describe how much this made my day.

Yes, I agree with you. He’s kind of like the the Onceler in that he’s awkwardly moe(?), has that villainous duality that you mentioned, and dresses in a way that’s prudish and dorky but inexplicably irresistible to the people on this site. I could see it happening as well.

[lenin-it-to-win-it]

not to hateTM on villain aus but why is it that anytime someone makes a character into a villain they automatically become 800% suaver and suddenly develop an uncontrollable lust for bespoke suits or some shit?? its tacky dumbass erasure and if you agree with me then here are some Hot Fresh and Spicey bnha villain aus for your pleasure:

 deku’s fashion style is already chaotic neutral at best: instead of dressing villain!deku like the onceler, have him wear t-shirts that state the name of the crime he’s about to commit. what’s more intimidating: some fourteen year old jackass in baby’s first tuxedo looking like he’s on the way to junior prom or the same fourteen year old jackass in a plain white shirt that just says “arson”?

villain deku also wears crocs because only villains do that, and theyre BLOOD SPATTERED ALL MIGHT CROCS bc he was wearing them when [insert tragic backstory here] happened, and they don’t fit him anymore so he cut off the part at the end and his toes stick out. toeless crocs are the greatest evil i can imagine.

villain present mic robs like a bunch of high end fashion stores and that bitch mixes prints and designers like no ones fucking business and he looks like he killed and skinned 80 different but equally tacky and hideous billionaires 

ya boi got LEOPARD PRINT, he got CHEETAH PRINT, hes got PLATFORM HEELS WITH A FUCKING AQUARIUM INSIDE OF THEM, hes got a CAPE MADE OF SOLID GOLD FURBIES, hes THAT BITCH and u better respect it 

Villain all might usually looks more like a mad max character than anything else and that spiky grimy dirt man aesthetic doesnt really bother me but hes usually also portrayed as like, this inconquerable sex fiend and yeah all mights kind of a hoe but hes a caring hoe, a gentle hoe

 id like to imagine villain all might coming home after a long day of murdering and howling “ARE YOU NOT SEDUCED” and baes like “u smell like sweaty leather and ass go take a shower” and hes like “yes dear” and he showers and changes into like, a comfortable bathrobe and his baes like “idk if i wanna be ravaged by the might of a god tonight babe ive got a headache :/” and hes like “no yeah thats cool we can just cuddle, ill steal u some tylenol”

villain aizawa just wears a straight up fursuit and yall fuckin know it

[greatbigfour]

01. A New Problem

MK turned in her bed and looked at Andy, or JJ. She still referred to him as Andy, even though everyone else knew him as JJ, and Jamie called him dad, of course. He didn’t seem to mind, but she thought that she should get used to calling him JJ too. She had time now to do that, now that she got him back. She pushed a lock of hair out of his face very gently. His eyelids fluttered open, and he smiled upon seeing her. Her own mouth curled into a bright smile. 

“Good morning,” she whispered softly as she snuggled up closer to him. 

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. “Good morning, sweetheart.” They kissed. “What do you say we stay in bed for a little while?” 

“Hmm, OK, until Jamie comes in.” 

JJ sighed. “Deal.” MK snorted as she buried her face into his chest. She breathed in the cool, brisk autumn scents she had come to associate with him. It only made sense that he would the alter persona of Jack O’Lantern. It was a comforting smell. 

“Mom, Dad!” 

JJ groaned. “Well that was quick.” 

MK chuckled. She gave him a quick kiss before she sat up in bed. “What is it, Jamie?” She saw the worried look on Jamie’s face and quickly got out of bed. “Jamie, what’s wrong?” She walked towards him, JJ now sitting up in bed. 

“All of my grandparents are here. Something’s wrong!” 

“Did they say what exactly was wrong?” 

Jamie shook his head. “They just said they had to talk to you right away!” 

MK and JJ shared a look. MK turned back to Jamie. “Alright, you go tell them we’ll be out in a minute.” 

Jamie nodded and took off, MK closing the door behind him. JJ was already up and getting changed when MK got to the closet. 

“Do you have any idea what it could be?” he asked as he pulled on a shirt. 

MK shook her head. “No clue, and I wonder why they didn’t tell Jamie.” 

“Well, guess there’s only one way to find out.” 

MK nodded and the two quickly finished getting dressed. They dashed out to the living room and found two couples looking rather perturbed, and Jamie was on the floor looking at them with worry and curiosity. Jack and Rapunzel were huddled together on the sofa, while Hiccup and Merida sat in the adjoining chairs and held hands. Hiccup stood up when he noticed MK and JJ coming into the room. 

MK hugged him. “Dad! Mom! What’s wrong?” 

JJ embraced his parents as well. “Is it Pitch?” he asked as he pulled back from their hug. 

Jack glanced at Hiccup. “Well, it has more to do with our attempts with getting back to our world. Something, or well, someone, seems intent on keeping us from doing so.” 

“And isn’t Mavis,” Merida quickly added upon seeing Jamie’s shocked face. He relaxed as he shot his grandmother a look of gratitude, but there was still worry creased on his face. 

Jack nodded. “Definitely not Mavis, she’s actually been working hard, trying to help us.” 

JJ glanced between the four. “But, who wouldn’t want to head back home?” 

“That’s why we came here,” said Hiccup, crossing his arms, “we need you to help us figure it out.”

Jack sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair. “Though the only reason why we came now is, it seems to have gotten worse.” 

“What do you mean by that?” asked JJ as he sat down. MK sat down next to him while the other four returned to their seats. 

Jack let out a huff as he glanced between Hiccup, Merida, and Rapunzel. “Oh man, where do we begin?” 

Hiccup shrugged. “How about when the two Sandy’s really got started working on figuring out a way back home with the Onceler?”  

“”Which was New Year’s Day.” 

MK and JJ shared a look. “Wait,” said JJ, “since New Year’s Day?” 

“That was only a few weeks ago!” blurted MK. 

“Yeah, we’ve been having problems ever since,” said Jack. 

“At first they were minor nuisances,” said Merida, “or at least we thought so. Then, things got worse and worse. Instead of things being misplaced, or a crack in glass here and there, there were big messes, some ingredients were stolen, and some things were broken.” 

Rapunzel shivered. “But now, someone just tried to kill Jack!” 

JJ leaned forward, eyes wide. “What?” He glanced at Jack. “Someone actually tried to . . .” 

Jack waved his hand. “Don’t worry about it. Right now, we need to find out who is behind all of this to make sure it doesn’t happen again.” 

“Isn’t Sheriff Woody on the case?” asked MK. 

“He was, but there’s only so much a doll can do,” said Jack with a shrug. “And it is just him and Jessie keeping the peace. We need an expert on the case.” He looked pointedly at MK. “And I know we promised to let you have a few months to be with JJ and Jamie, but we need you, MK.” 

JJ and Jamie glanced at MK. She let out a breath. “Alright, I’ll see what I can do.” 

“We,” said JJ, “we’ll see what we can do.” He shot a smile at MK. MK really didn’t want to get JJ caught up in it, but she realized that not only would she appreciate the extra help, she would get to spend time with him. She loved him so much. 

She grinned back. “Yes, we.” 

“And me too!!” blurted Jamie. 

MK pointed at him. “Once you’re finished with your homework young man.” 

“Oh fine.” Jamie huffed and crossed his arms. 

MK nodded. “Good.” She turned to her parents and in-laws. “I’m on the case.” MK was surprised by their reaction as the four smiled wanly. 

“I really wish we didn’t have to rely on you for this,” said Hiccup, “but you seem to be the only one who can handle this.” 

JJ leaned forward. “Is there another reason?” 

Jack clenched his staff tightly. “I think Pitch is somehow behind this.” He glanced at the two pointedly and worriedly. “Please be very careful.” 

JJ shot him a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry, Dad, I’ve been practicing a bit with my powers. If Pitch is behind this, it will just give me a reason to try them out.” 

“You’re still not strong enough to handle him though,” mumbled Jack. 

“I can always send MK and Jamie to find you. I’ll be fine.” 

Rapunzel patted Jack’s shoulder. “Jack, he’s an adult now, we should trust him.” 

Jack sighed. “I know, but he hasn’t had much training.” 

“Then teach him,” said Rapunzel. 

“Then teach me,” said JJ at the same time.  

Jack ran his hand through his hair. “Well, it’s kinda hard to at the moment since I’m helping the Sandy’s find a way home.” 

Rapunzel took his hand. “I’m sure they’ll understand if you want to take a few minutes, or even a few hours to train our son. The more help we have defeating Pitch the better.” 

Jack sighed and nodded. “You’re right. I’ll talk to them about it when I see them later.” 

Rapunzel pecked his cheek. “Thank you.” 

He pulled her closer. “You’re welcome.” 

MK let out a breath as she stood up. “Alright, if I’m going to take this case, I’m going to need all the information you can give me.” 

Hiccup leaned forward and rubbed his chin. “Well, I think we gave you all the information we could give you. Things seemed to be lost or misplaced at first, but then the next week we found phials broken, ingredients stolen, and things spilled all over the place. Then, just last night . . .” Hiccup paused and glanced at Jack, apparently waiting for him to finish the story. 

Jack sighed. “Last night, I was on my way home when arrows were shot at me.” 

“What?” blurted JJ and Jamie. 

Jack nodded. “I was able to put up a shield of ice just in time.” He shivered. “It was way too close.” 

MK blinked. “But I thought you can’t die!” 

“You’re right, I can’t, but these weren’t your typical arrows. They had been dipped in nightmare sand! If one of those had pierced me, Pitch would have been able to control me.” JJ gasped and his eyes widened in horror. Jack continued. “When the arrows stopped coming, I went off in search of my attacker, but I couldn’t find anyone. So I grabbed the arrows and took them back to the Sandy’s. The Sandman was able to turn the nightmare sand back into dream sand, but that’s the only good news from that entire incident.” 

JJ let out a soft hiss. “So, someone in the town is working with Pitch.”

Hiccup nodded. “And we have no clue who it is.” 

MK rubbed her chin. “Well, looks like it’s time for a visit to town hall and take a look at Mavis’s collection of information on each person. Maybe someone will pop out.” She turned to Jack. “Speaking of, you’re sure it wasn’t Justin either?” 

Jack nodded firmly. “Positive. He’s been helping us too.” 

“Well then,” said MK as she strode towards the phone, “let’s see if there are any bad guys who made it into Cedar Grove.” She picked up the phone and dialed a number. “Hello, Mavis? We need to look at the info you have on the townsfolk. How soon can we look at them?” Her eyes widened. “Now?” She glanced at everyone in the room with determination. “That will be perfect. We’re on our way.”  

[kissorkill16]

A Less Normal Date: A Lorax Fanfic

By JJ

Summary: The Onceler and Norma are trying to have a date in Truffula Valley, but the Onceler can't seem to keep it together when a certain furry orange thing is playing jokes behind Norma's back.

Today was the best day ever for the Onceler. Tonight was his second date with Norma, and he was incredibly happy. After the first date didn't go so well, he thought he might never get another chance, but he was wrong. Even after that whole fiasco at the restaurant, Norma asked him out for another date, away from people. And what better place to have a nice date than Truffula Valley.

He sprayed on some cologne and went out the door to set up a picnic blanket, but then he turned his back for a minute and there were 3 brown barbaloots rolling around in the blanket, getting fur all over it.

"Hey! No! Bad! That's for me and my date! She's gonna be here any minute and you guys are ruining the blanket!"

He kept scolding them as he pushed them off the blanket, only for them to run back on and continue getting fur on the blanket.

"HEY!"

The Onceler and the barbaloots turned to see the Lorax, arms crossed and a stern face.

Then he smiled and said "Who wants to go swimming?"

The barbaloots excitedly went running to the lake, leaving the Lorax and the Onceler to themselves.

"Thanks."

"No problem, kid. What's the blanket for anyway?"

"Oh, remember Norma?"

"You mean the girl you went on a date with?"

"Yes, me and her are going to have another date right here in Truffula Valley. No people to laugh at me if I trip over my feet, just me and Norma."

As the Onceler kept setting up the blanket, the Lorax was looking at him in disbelief.

"You forgot one other thing."

"What?"

"There are animals and me here in Truffula Valley."

The Onceler didn't think about that.

"Oh no, you're right. I didn't think about that. But I'm sure that won't be a problem, right?"

"Don't be too sure, beanpole. We once sent your bed down the river with you in it, so what makes you think we won't mess up your date?"

"To be honest, I'm more worried about the animals."

"And why's that?"

The Onceler began walking and talking, "Like you said once before, only those who have a deep connection with nature shall be able to see the Lorax. What if Norma doesn't have a deep connection with nature? She might not be able to see you, so I probably only have to worry about the animals."

The Lorax rolled his eyes at his tall friend acquaintance. "Alright then, how are you going to make sure the animals don't mess up your date?"

The Onceler pulled out a roll of duct tape out of his pocket, "I have just the thing."

About 30 minutes before the date, the Onceler explained to the animals that he made a line out of duct tape and that they had to stay on their side of it. The animals looked like they understood, but they really had no idea what was so important that their human friend made a line out of duct tape. As he finished explaining, he heard a woman's voice call out to him.

"Onceler!"

The Onceler turned to see Norma in a beautiful summer dress and hat, she looked so cute.

"Norma, you're here early!"

"Yeah, I like to stay ready instead of get ready. So, this is the venue you picked for our date?"

"Yes. Isn't it lovely?"

"Very lovely."

As the two were chatting, the Lorax was busy with his thoughts. Sure, Norma might not be able to see him, but the Onceler still could. On one hand, the Onceler might look and sound crazy, but on the other hand, it was funny to mess with him.

The two sat down, and while Norma was making herself comfortable, he couldn't help but stare at her. Her hair was so cute and bouncy, her skin was so pale and smooth, and she looked almost like a porcelain doll. The Onceler couldn't believe how he got so lucky...

"Onceler."

The Onceler was startled out of his thoughts when he heard Norma call his name.

"Why're you staring at me?"

"Oh, sorry, Norma. I must've spaced out. I'll go get the food, you stay here."

Okay, note to self. Never stare at a woman for so long or she'll think there's something wrong with you. Also, never space out while staring at a woman, the Onceler thought. He made the right decision to go and get the food, that way he could prepare himself, and protect himself from getting embarrassed more. As he was coming out, he made sure his shoes were tied, to keep from tripping over them again like last time.

"Oh, that was fast."

"Yeah, I made this a few hours early before our date."

"Sounds like we have something in common. We both like to stay ready instead of get ready."

"Wow, what a coincidence!"

"Yeah."

As the two sat down and ate the delicious Chicken Alfredo the Onceler made, the Onceler caught something in the corner of his eye. He saw that there were 3 hummungfish, singing and dancing along with 3 barbaloots. What was even funnier, the Lorax was conducting them.

The Onceler was trying not to choke on his food or laugh right now, because if he laughed, Norma would think something was funny, and if he told her what was funny, then she'd think he was crazy.

"Onceler, are you okay? You're shaking and you look like you're holding in a breath."

"Yep, I'm fine, Norma. Never better."

That was a lie. He was trying so hard not to laugh right now.

"Alright then. Why don't you tell me a little about yourself? Do you do other things besides knit Thneeds and play guitar?"

"Well..."

The Onceler was looking for something to tell her, and without thinking, what came out was "I'm a schizophrenic."

Norma's eyes widened, she looked like she'd seen a ghost. The Onceler mentally kicked himself for saying that. Why'd you tell her that?! Now she'll really think you're crazy!, thought the Onceler.

"Oh, that's nice. I wasn't expecting you to say that, but it's nice to see you're being honest."

The Onceler sighed, relieved that she didn't see him as crazy...hopefully.

Just then, the Onceler saw at the corner of his eye once again, that the Lorax had his moustache braided into two French braids.

"Oh my goodness."

"What? What is it?"

The Onceler snapped out of his thoughts, noticing that Norma was looking at him, confused at what he was looking at. When she turned around, she didn't see anything there.

"Onceler, what am I looking at? Is it super small? Because the only thing I see is a land filled with trees.

This is a disaster. Norma obviously couldn't see the Lorax, now she really thought he was crazy.

"Nothing, Norma. I'll go get dessert."

When the Onceler went to go get dessert, he also took 1 2 of his schizophrenic pills. He wanted Norma to like him, not think he was crazy. He grabbed the cookies and went back out to Norma.

"Chocolate chip cookies, still hot and fresh."

"Those look delicious, Onceler."

"Thank you."

As the two sat down and ate cookies, the Onceler kept staring at the animals and the Lorax, who were singing and dancing on the other side of the duct tape line. It felt like they were mocking him, almost, but he couldn't do anything. He wanted Norma to like him.

But all sanity went out the window when the Onceler saw that furry meatloaf holding one of his wine bottles, then he charged towards him and snatched it.

"And just what were you planning to do with this?"

"You weren't using it."

"Well I'm about to now!"

"Onceler."

The Onceler went back to Norma, trying to seem as normal as possible.

"Wine?"

Norma nodded and the Onceler went to go get two glasses.

About an hour later, the Onceler was drunk and Norma was still sober.

"Onceler, I just want to let you know, I had a really nice time with you. This date so far went better than the last one, despite you looking behind my back and laughing at whatever."

"Oh that? Well...Norma, I don't want you to think I'm crazy or whatever, but I think it's worth a shot."

Norma was still confused, but she listened carefully.

"Norma, while I may have schizophrenia, I also have an ability. This ability allows me to see an almighty guardian of the forest, the legendary slightly annoying Lorax. He's small, orange, and has a big furry yellow moustache and eyebrows. But you might not be able to see him, because whoever has a deep connection with nature shall be able to see the Lorax. But you probably have 0 connection with nature whatsoever, you probably think I'm out of my mind."

"The Lorax? You mean that thing standing behind you?"

The Onceler turned to see the small orange thing and there he was, out in the open. And what was even more surprising, Norma pointed him out for him.

"Hello, Ms. Wiggins."

"Hello to you too, Mr. Lorax."

The Onceler looked extremely confused. "Norma, you can see him?"

"Why of course, Onceler. I actually do have a deep connection with nature, and I can see this almighty guardian of the forest very well."

The Onceler stayed silent for a minute, then he jumped up and squealed in excitement.

"I'M NOT CRAZY!"

As the Onceler kept jumping and squealing, the Lorax and Norma were just sitting and watching.

"I never thought he was crazy. Silly and perky, yes. But crazy, never."

"I think he's a little crazy, but everyone has their flaws."

Norma poured another glass of wine.

"Wine?"

"None for me, thanks. I hate being drunk on duty."

Since that night, the Onceler and Norma began having more dates in Truffula Valley. Sure, the animals and the Lorax were always there to annoy him, but he didn't mind. Norma was happy with him, and he was happy with Norma.