#hes weird sometimes but hes ours
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GUYS
GUYS THEY PREMIERED IT FOR BILL ON THE STAR TREK REPLICA SET
#Im SOBBING#bill shatner#star trek unification#i can only imagine how all of this is making him feel#william shatner#hes weird sometimes but hes ours#leonard nimoy#imagine getting able to see your friend again#star trek#james t kirk#captains personal log
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just saw someone call charles' career 'common successes' the pole to win ratio agenda is too severe because in no way is 26 poles without a championship winning car common at ALL
every time he wins it's after ten thousand trials and tribulations and his wins this year mean so much more to me than if he had a dominant car. i said it last year and i think so doubly now that he impresses me with every race like he is him and i truly think he is the best.
#'similar career stats to lando' eh... eh.........#no one will ever convince me this pole record isnt impressive#and the win record will catch up when he gets the car he deserves🙄#'personally dont think leclerc is very impressive' ok 😭😭 you're wrong 😭😭#either carlos sainz is an absolute shit qualifier (and he's NOT lol) or charles is really great these are the only options#anyway he constantly pulls miracles out of his ass and this take is stupid the monza drive and spa/baku poles were more impressive than#anyth lando did this season 🙄#also just look at how he dogwalks the field in quali whenever its a tight driver-dependent street circuit...#i even think lando did a good job on sunday i just think he's too error prone this year and it cost him too much#people's leclerc agendas get crazy sometimes#'its weird how people venerate him' its called being a tifosi u should try it its like being on drugs#its not OUR problem that we're having fun
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i think fandom spaces would become much more enjoyable across the board if people stopped flipping their pancakes over other fans enjoying characters that they don't like. or, god forbid, like them but in 'the wrong way.'
#salty peak sect 🧂#jin guangyao#jgy haters you do realize that you are as integral a part of this wheel of dead horse reincarnation as jgy stans are. right?#you realize that our liking jgy and believing he did good things does not in any way detract from your ability to enjoy wei wuxian#as your specialist good boy. right?#you realize you could just scroll past takes about people enjoying jgy without deciding to drop your own pass-agg vaguepost#questioning our morality in the tags. right?#you get that it's weird to act like we're the weird ones for responding to provocation. you have to get that that is a weird way to think.#consider instead: staying in your lane!! minding your business!!!#you can in fact just leave us alone! you can do that! the power is yours!!#nb: this is not directed at the people who have genuine questions/commentary about jgy that are critical in nature. that's fine.#please recognize i am not talking about you!#i scroll past so many of your posts even tho i disagree with them#because your stuff is not the stuff that is making me benafflecksmoking.jpeg#maybe sometimes i'll comment if i think i have something useful to add#and if i think OP is not going to be a dick#most of the time i frankly would rather get high and read xiyao fanfic#that is usually why i am in the tags: to read fic and look at cute fanart#i am not visiting the tags because i want to pick a fight! truly i'm not!#however. if you start one. i will probably finish it. 😌 hth
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just a heads up that enmeshment with your therapist is a sign that you need a different therapist. you go to these people to offload and heal, but if you're emotionally enmeshed and that's keeping you from bringing topics forward, that is no longer a healthy relationship nor a therapist that should be treating you.
just so you're aware. your therapist should not be an uncle figure you're afraid to talk about embarrassing stuff with, he's an impartial audience to help you heal. that emotional connection is now HINDERING you from healing.
honestly! me making one personal post! does not tell you the full story! while i defintly have an emotional connection with him- i have had other therapists in my life in and out the entire time. i seek help from other sources frequently! i said it was like talking to an uncle simply because of the fact he’s known me since i was a child, which makes talking about adult topics at times a little embarrasing because he knew me when i was 11!! he is not like an uncle to me in an other respect, i have a seperation. and i have openly discussed this with him and why im uncomfortable at times!! but we talk it out!! because its my therapist and me making one post doesnt mean you know everything!! geez!! also ive been embarrassed to talk about sex with every other therapist ive had!! not your call to make!!
#in the time ive been seeing him ive had easily a dozen other social workers clinicians case workers and speciality therapists. ive been to#groups and classes and everything.#having a stable person in my life who i can trust to help me is important to me because ive been to so many doctors and a lot of them i dont#trust at all. there are some times i struggle with him but i feel safe to talk to him#it just takes me a minute sometimes because i remember playing board games in our sessions and its weird to be an adult now#he’s probably retiring soon so i plan to stay until he does. and then i will move on#impartiality sure. but i need to trust someone to some level. the social worker i saw the longest it took me several years with to discuss#my abuser with because its!! hard to talk about that stuff with someone you dont know
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shelter animal // january 2024
#absolutely no clue when i actually wrote this but it was sometime between smth i wrote for a christmas present#and smth i wrote for a class that started late january. so. we'll give it our best guess haha#still working out whether i want the pen name there alongside the title. i like my little format so much...#looks weird if i interrupt it with something else. idk. i'll think about it...#poetry#no 'poems about' tag for this guy. can't think of a category for him. into just the general poetry tag he goes#poem#poems#poets on tumblr#poems and poetry#poetsandwriters
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teacher student edizzy au but theyre literally already married, its just Izzy as a history teacher or something and Ed as a forever student (they can afford this because of a youth of crime & family discounts) studying something different every few years. he never pursues something all the way to PHD, just has a ton of different degrees. but every time they have some freak psychosexual teacher/student roleplay about it. like, Ed's studying for a chemistry degree, why is he taking a history class? (to fuck the professor)
#Edward Teach(er kink)#Ed's just got this collection of the most random degrees. whatever takes his fancy until it doesnt anymore#he usually does do the full course but not always. izzy supports his husband in whatever he wants to do#izzy did try and discourage this for the first few rounds (out of like; professionalism & favouritism allegations)#(hes Into It Too) but by now hes given up and just. completely goes along with Ed's lead#they do different set ups sometimes. but always some messy shit#nyxtalks#ofmd#our flag means death#izzy hands#israel hands#edward teach#edizzy#blackhands#this was supposed to be 'haha i can come up with bad aus' type shit to my sage but. it kinda hit in a weird way i will not lie#they were both older students to start with. izzy just picked a degree and stuck with it & now is a doting husband
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ughhhhhhh yearningg
#why did I want to like a guy again??#jk it’s still kinda nice after nothing for so long#and at least we’re friends so I get to see him#but#afaik he still only sees me as a friend#and ironically I have other guys who have expressed interest recently#(one literally called me last night while I was hanging out with Guy lmao)#I mean maybe it’s good though#if it’s not meant to work out then I do NOT want to ruin the friendship/make the group dynamic weird#ALSO#while our group all has a weird sense of humor and stuff#I just worry that he thinks I’m sometimes funny as a friend#but too Weird to like in a romantic sense
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doodle page from a couple months ago of Nico having way too many immortal friends
also yes i did just use Nyx’s Hades design. it’s a good design.
#pjo#riordanverse#nico di angelo#let's see if i can't not crosstag while explaining this woo#okay so top l > r: my hc about Nico in Tartarus for the longest time (and tbh still is)#was that the like Singular Break he got down there was taking a nap in the Palace of Night#and that N and Achlys just think he's Neat. they didnt really help him but they didnt hurt him either#more of just let him crash on the sofa#i refuse anything about pjo's version of N. reject your canon and substitute my own#anyways then his parents then Hest#< feels weird shortening her name but yknow. struggling not to crosstag here#then Cupid (i dont think i have to worry about crosstagging there) cause i like the hc that Nico is one of his fav mortals#and they both DO chill out with each other eventually. or are at least chill sometimes#cause it's Nico literally grappling with the literal physical manifestation of the concept of romantic love#so once he sorts that out theyre chill. if nico has a bad romance day he shows up like ''bitch lets get u some ice cream''#then Demet Arte and. well he's labeled.#i think the dynamic of Nico doing yardwork for Demet funny. that's his. Grandma. Aunt. Grandaunt. Dont think about it too hard#then Arte just thinks of him as her roaming emo little brother (cause of Bianca) - hes an honorary brother of the Hunt#all the Hunters just accept ''that's our little bro he has very mixed feelings about us though''#and then. handshake same aesthetic. i like the hcs that Nico was an Eye for him for awhile before Walt ergo the fashion sense#my art
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"they never dated but they ARE exes" is such a funny relationship for two characters to have. very awkward relationship to have irl tho
#eliot posts#it still IS a little funny irl tho#i visoted her last night cuz i was in town and the vibe was so weird#it's like. we had an EXPLOSIVE breakup years ago and we're on amicable terms now but there's just the past kinda hanging there in the air#im no longer upset about the stuff she did to me but i AM still a lil sore abt how she hurt our other friends#but sometimes i still talk to her out of... idk. nostalgia or something?#idk if it's the same thing driving her to keep talking to me or what#i don't think she holds any ill feelings towards me cuz she admitted she was totally in the wrong for pretty much everything#and the worst i did was be TOO loyal and enable her but at the same time she thinks she'd be worse off if i didn't do all that back then idk#sometimes i wonder if she wants our old relationship but but i've made it clear we'll never be able to go back there#sidenote: her actual ex boyfriend (who i am still besties with and love so much) is the one that started the joke that me and her are exes#he was like ''i think she's not just MY ex girlfriend she's OUR ex girlfriend'' when i was telling my roommate about her#(and then i told her about that and she laughed and agreed that yeah. we basically ARE exes)#her actual ex/my bestie won't talk to her at all anymore and he's totally within his rights to do that#i actually asked him a few years ago if he was okay with me talking to her before i messaged her cuz i didn't wanna risk hurting him#anyway yeah. it's weird#seeing her left me with a lot of feelings that aren't exactly bad just Weird. idk.
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#So rn my parents are overseas at this gathering with family friends#And one of them got married + had a kid 11 weeks ago#All of this in the span of less than a year btw#And he’s 15 years older than me but rlly fun etc the kind of guy that feels at most 6-7 years older yk#And it feels wildddd cuz he was the rlly like mischievous (?) Kind of guy in our friend group#and it felt a bit weird to know he was expecting a kid since I found out a few months back but today my mum told me her name and everything#And I’m feeling super weird again like I can’t imagine him as a serious responsible dad buckling down yk#But also he can be serious when he needs to be so that coupled with his sense of humour means he’s going to be a great dad in sure#But it’s making me rethink whether or not I want to have kid(s)#maybe it’s just vanity but I feel like pregnancy would rlly wreck my body both looks and health wise#Like that is 9 months of commitment idk if I can handle it 😭😭😭#but sometimes i daydream abt what it would be like to have kids with the guy im 90% sure I’ll be marrying in like 7 years#and it makes me feel soooooo. like I want to do all that with him#and I feel like he would be level headed enough to help me through wtv insecurity or anxiety I’m feeling now#Idk idk#personal
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Also, at least my babies ain’t dead.
#sun and moon show#sams#five nights at freddy's#fnaf#fnaf bloodmoon#snoweytrashposts#snoweytalks#snoweyrambles#snoweyrants#tw death mention#i woulda wrung the writer’s neck#why are they not allowed to have a full character development at the very least!?#not even redemption at this point#just like ‘sun: yeah that’s our weird cousin blood moon. he really likes to eat raw beef and drink blood sometimes but he’s our weirdo’#like don’t even redeem them at this point#just make them the weird chaotic cousin#and the blood moon fans will be happy
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to be real for a second, i think there is a moment in the show where mike has a ~realization~ of sorts about his feelings but hasn't quite put two and two together yet.... and it's this:
this realization of "hey my feelings for will are actually maybe different than my feelings for my other friends, but i'm not sure why" happens at the end of season two. and then mike spends the entirety of season three acting sort of strange and different around will while having his relationship with him constantly juxtaposed with his relationship with el. reaching the end of that season which, despite all the supernatural shit going on, took the time to focus so heavily on those two relationships (and how fundamentally different they are), and having mike have the same realization he had at the end of season two makes no sense because it would mean he accomplished absolutely nothing in his emotional arc during the course season three
especially to claim that he still believes he has feelings for el going into season 4. especially to claim he still believes he has feelings for el by the end of season 4. it's to claim that he has not made any emotional progress in his relationships for at least two full seasons, that he's been going through all of this for it to not have made any conscious impact on him, and the changes in the way he acts from s2-3 and from s3-4 aren't a product of his character developing (growing, changing, to quote hopper's letter) but rather..... ? i don't know actually. just him feeling weird but not understanding himself at all. still. it just doesn't make sense to me. he's one of the main characters of the show, and to keep him emotionally stagnant for 4 out of 5 seasons (especially when we can see that his behavior is changing, that he has not been stagnant at all but rather deeply affected by everything) would be a disservice to his character, first of all, but also a disservice to the narrative which has been showing us his (as well as the other characters') struggle with growing up and growing into himself every season. and it simply doesn't align with what we're being shown
mike is already having realizations by the end of season two. but by the end of season three, he's starting to be really honest with himself about what they mean
#i know i joke about mike being dumb sometimes but some people think he actually is so i try to do it less now lmao#sorry if it comes off rude or dismissive i just think it's a really weird takeaway after watching s3-4 that mike just still doesn't get it#what do you think is happening in his s3 arc if he's still at the exact same place he was at the end of s2? same with s4?#do you think they're saving his ENTIRE sexuality realization coming of age arc for season 5? then what's he been doing so far???#(i also may have updated feelings on when exactly he realized his feelings for will if i said snowball before.. i think there's more to it)#i also think 'it's impossible to tell until we hear it from mike's own mouth' is a bad take. personally. this is the show don't tell show#we're seeing it happen right in front of our salads. we shouldn't need mike to literally come out to understand that he's consciously#struggling with his sexuality and his feelings for will. he knows at this point. he's very very aware#anyway idk if i articulated this very well but i wanted to try to get my thoughts out#posting late so maybe no one will see it anyway lmao#mikesbasementbeets posts#beets posts
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Charles: and how do I contact you in the future?
Johannes: you don't 🌟 bye you soggy bitch ✨️🕺✨️🕺🟨🟨🟨
#and then you barely see him for the rest of the game#the sinking city#coolhatposts#man i would have loved to be able to visit johannes's house! maybe you go there to discuss a case or catch up or whatever#i can totally see a dramatic parlor scene playing out that could give a lot more foundation for future story events#and maybe you can just visit his place sometimes and read philosophy books or something. maybe he rotates a couple books out for charles#on a table or smth and you can go read it#or maybe it's excerpts from lovecraft!!#GOD you guys do you see what i mean there's so much to add to the game#Johannes is fascinating as a character but then we only see him like. three times max#and at least one of those times he's probably dead#i just think it makes sense for charles to seek company with the only person he knows in the city a couple times before the plot starts#picking up. i could see maybe they have two or three dinners/drinks with Important Conversations#but i do think it's a wasted opportunity not to have johannes be more involved. he's the player's window into the upper class weird shit#in oakmont. he's our connection to a secret society and he knows graham and i would bet money he knew about the cannibal restaurant#GOD as soon as I'm done w the project I'm working on I'm gonna be replaying and writing SO MUCH you guys#never been a writer before but I'll make it happen#the possibilities are too cool to ignore#please please please someone else start posting abt tsc I KNOW YOU GUYS ARE THERE. I KNOW ME AND LOVELYHEADS ARE NOT THE ONLY ONES W IDEAS
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spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner
#vulnerable tag rambles ahead please be kind abt them i didnt intent to ramble this much but i dont wanna delete it eitehr#me to every single man i have ever dated after 6mo-1y: yeah hey this really isnt working out i dont really know why but i really hate mysel#and i dont want to blame you because i dont think you did anything inherently wrong here; i think this is something about me but i need#space to figure out why im feeling this way [every single one reacted by telling me No i wasnt allowed to leave btw]#i hold very complex feelings about these relationships esp bc of them ending in very violent/chaotic ways most of the time#but its interesting to look back at it all and realize ive left every man for the same reason (which is that ive hated myself Every Single#Time ive dated a man) and its funny bc i recognized the self hate pretty early on w/ cishet men but when it came to queer men it was#much more confusing (esp w/ nto knowing Any lesbians at that point in my life). im so happy im a lesbian tbh#i have a lot of issues w/ the racism fatphobia and transmisogyny present in lesbian groups#and also coming out as a lesbian really truly saved my life. before i met my wife i was quite literally in a 3yr abusive relationship that#definitely would have died in if i hadnt realzied i was a lesbian and ran from him#its also weird seeing liek the hard evidence of the things that happened to me btween 2016-2020 tbh#cause that was such a bad time of my life. i truly dont know how i survived it but im so glad i did#like the three major relationships in my life b4 meeting my wife was: guy who was in college when i was in HS who stalked me when i left;#guy who was a year younger than me who cheated on me the entire time while telling me he was being victimized (he wasnt; this was very mess#guy who saw the very messy toxic ldr i was in and helped me dump my ex then decided that meant we were in a relationship [insert 3 yrs here#and admittedly all 3 years with him werent the same level of abusive but it was definitely unhealthy from the start considering I Didnt Kno#we were together until he wanted to celebrate vday and got mad i didnt know our anniversary - and like this isnt including the other stuff#that happened between those Relatonships[tm] (cause ive never been monogamous; these were just the Major Relationships)#like i genuinely think if i hadnt come out i'd be dead rn given just how dangerous my relationships were/continued getting#i am also so tired now that ive seen all this cause like. fuck i can barely believe it and i not only lived it but have PTSD about it#i should write about my life sometime. i feel like it'd be cathartic to try and make a tangible timeline and stories from the years ang stu#anyway yeah. be nice about the tag rambles. dont message me with pity or curiosity or anything about this. i dont usually talk abt this stu#publicly bc i hate the ways ppl start tryign to baby me when they realize my life has been extremely fucked up until only a few years ago#n im still working on accepting kindness from others bc of [insert life traumas here] but its a long process so pls respect my need for jus#being heard rn w/o too much pressure< 3 (but ig if u do read this can u like it cause i feel a little crazy seeing all the evidence of the#stuff i experienced now also cause fuck ik logically it was but also i cant believe it was all real still yk)
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Huh. If my life was a quote, it'd be "one of those sad ones with a deceptively happy tune"
#quote from MLP:FIW#sorryyyy been kinda angry about my step family all day#sorry but im so tired of my Stepmom acting like she raised decent kids#my step brother is like 25 and living in my dads home. hes unironically an andrew tate fan and treats his very disabled girlfriend like shit#step sister always got compred to my sister who's the same age and put step sis in the light every time EVEN THO MY SIS WAS LITERALLY BETTER#<- like grades n shit#also both step sibs are gross. never cleans up ever. step brother and his gf are banned from the basement#step bro went to juvy when he was 16 and step sis had a trial last year and almost went to jail#also step sis has mono and would rather die than cover her mouth#i feel bad for SB's girlfriend because she has no other support system and sometimes it feels like SB or SS is trying to kill her?????#my dad threatened to kick out the adults if the house is dirty (adults being SB. SBG. SS. My sister. Aunt.)#My sister does SO MUCH HOUSEWORK and nobody cares and im mad#also bullshit rules recently have made my potential eating disorder worse#i don't think its healthy to rather starve than wash a dish but i actually have cried several times over this#not to mention how much i accidentally starve myself#also our food has been less and less because I don't know what I'm allowed to eat anymore because of my step family#also i have to share the smallest room with my sister. its okay tho ilh and i wouldn't want to get rid of her#sometimes it feels like my stepmom doesn't like me or my sisters because we're “weird”. childish interests and artistic#she lectured me about having missing assignments and I started crying#i said i just forgot to turn in some before the deadline and she called me lazy#<- Oops! so close. its actually THE MENTAL ILLNESS#my sisters and i feel like shit#i feel like my safe space is with my oldest sister.#and you all too! i love you guys#i just feel trapped. trapped by my step family. trapped by my own mind.#i was just starting to feel free from the burden of school and she just made me feel more stressed.#i didn't want to study because she killed the little motivation I had#Spanish exam is now “Fuck it we ball”#sorry for the personal post
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i feel rly sad and conflicted abt one of my best friends on earth but idk who to ask for advice bc i usually would have consulted her in this situation lmao
#shes cool and i dont want to lose her and i know Logically i love her but atm i feel so strange towards her#and idk what to do abt it bc i know in the past ive like...over-communicated a lot and over the last few yrs ive been trying to not do that#bc thats an anxious impulse i think .so like . self control#AND IMPORTANTLY . i may actually be the problem here ?? ok again i love her i dont want to lose her etc but basically ive noticed a pattern#which is that whenever she gets a bf/a man (even fwb) in her life she basically stops talking to me and the limited interactions we do have#become abt him. and while i support her it is acc too much. like we barely talked while she was w her ex bf until he became abusive and#then we talked a lottt like all our convos understandably were abt him . and then when they broke up we kept hanging out so i didnt rly see#the pattern there but still she seemed to centre men a lot in her life like sbe was excited to not date and find herself and then#immediately afterwards started seeing this other guy with whom shes basically in a relationship now#hes nice and all but like . HES ALL SHE TALKS ABT . actually we barely talk atp but when we do its abt him#she sends me reels sometimes but its all abt being jealous abt him etc . and shes bi but she said she doesnt like the idea of dating women#bc theyre scary . and i thought she was kidding in the ohhh women r so beautiful that theyre intimidating way but no she was being entirely#fr . she explained jts bc she was bullied by a girl in the past but like...bro ur ex bf literally abused you like surely you see men are#capable of just as much harm? but obvs who she dates is her own choice . but anyway she has consistently made plans w me then cancelled the#like an hr before . or asked to call me and then proceeded to not do so . when i ask her to meet/call its the same she just doesnt respond#or she cancels ? and while i understand anxiety sucks it feels SO WEIRD STILL . maybe im the problem slightly too bc ik i have no right to#feel this way but it rubs me the wrong way that ik she has so much time to spend w him/calls him all the time despite meeting him just a fe#months ago whereas i just have to like ...be ok w not actually having talked to her for a long time#its gotten to the point where when she says do you wanna meet/call i automatically respond yes and then just assume it doesnt happen . like#there have been several times over the past few months i double booked plans over when we were supposed to call/meet bc i was sure she#wouldnt show up and ive been right each time#like she sends me texts that she misses me or im her best friend etc etc occasionally and then acts rly . contrary to that ?#ive talked to her abt the issue w cancelling on me twice btw. when i was still dating the situationship person she would get sooo mad at#them for not respecting my time and shed tell me i deserve better etc etc and then like . she doesnt seem to respect my time at all#anyway she said she understand and she admits to like...being flaky etc but does nothing abt it#and its not like i can tell her to stop caring so much abt men bc we sorta had convos like that b4 she got This involved w this guy#and apparently it did nothing and the last thing i want is to police her relationships or get in her way#its just AUSHD AUGH#anyway i rly miss her it just doesnt feel the same at all anymore
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