#hes on a 2 week antibiotic right now anyway

[depresseddepot]

the stress came back

[runninriot]

Never Again

written for @steddie-week day 2

prompt: hands, touch starved | rated: M | wc: 4.6k | cw: domestic violence (past), toxic relationship (past), injuries | tags: hurt/comfort, Eddie Munson is not OK and he’s hurt, Steve Harrington is a Sweetheart, overcoming past differences, they’re friends but the ‘to lovers’ is implied, hopeful ending | complete fic on ao3

Steve’s heart is pounding and he’s out of breath. He should’ve used the elevator but at the time he got here, running up the stairs seemed like the fastest way to get up. Now that he’s standing in front of Eddie’s door, feeling like he’s about to black out, he regrets his decision.

He takes another deep breath before knocking at the door.

Then again.

And again.

   "Shitshitshit. Eddie come on. COME ON! Open the damn door!"

Steve panics, throws both fists against the door and calls his name, uncaring of what the nosy neighbours might think. They’re probably used to it anyway, the banging and yelling. Never seemed bothered enough to step in before so why would they do something now.

Finally, the door unlocks and when Steve barges in, he nearly runs into Eddie who just stands there with his head hung low and his hair falling like a curtain into his face. With hunched shoulders and his arms hanging loosely at his sides. There is blood on his hand, his knuckles bruised and split open.

   “Eddie?”

He doesn’t react, doesn’t say anything, just stands there lifeless and still like a statue and it scares Steve because he can’t see his face, can’t see what the bastard has done to him this time.

   “Where is he?” Steve asks and it’s then Eddie finally looks up and-

   “Eddie, your face! Oh G-" Steve has to cover his mouth not to scream. Has to swallow down hard not to burst into tears. "Where’s your first-aid kit?”

Eddie shakes his head weakly, still not willing to talk.

   “Okay, okay. Can you- will you sit down for me, please? I’ll just grab something to clean that up. Can I do that? Is that- is that okay?”

Steve holds his breath for the time it takes for Eddie to let the question sink in. He looks completely out of it, like he’s not quite there and Steve hopes that it’s only the shock and not a concussion. Or worse.

Eventually Eddie nods but he doesn’t move; it’s like he’s frozen on the spot. Like his body isn’t his own.

Steve steps closer, careful not to make any unexpected, sudden movements but still, Eddie instantly jerks away when Steve’s fingers just barely graze his shoulder and he makes the sound of an injured animal, loud and shrill and scared. A sound that runs down Steve’s back in cold ripples, hits him right to his core.

   “I’m sorry! It’s okay, Eddie. Please, just- please sit down and let me take care of you. I just want to wipe off the blood.”

At the mention of that word, Eddie brings his hand up to examine it like he just remembered that he got hurt. And when he looks back up at Steve, he finally talks.

   “Where’s-��

   “He’s gone. You’re safe,” Steve answers quickly, not wanting Eddie to panic.

   “Can you sit down? For me?”

Eddie nods again and winces – he must slowly come to his senses, Steve thinks. Probably only now realising the pain he’s in. Or must be. Because his lips is split and swollen. There’s a bruise on his left cheek and a cut on his forehead Steve hopes doesn’t need stitches and there is blood on his hand but that’s only the parts Steve can see. Eddie’s not responsive enough to ask if he’s hurt somewhere else and he won’t let Steve touch him and-

    Focus, Steve. You’re no use to him if you’re losing your mind.

He shakes himself out of his own looming panic attack and makes his way to the bathroom looking for a washcloth and bandages, antibiotic ointment, some pain killers, anything that might help.

When he returns to the living room, he’s relieved to find Eddie sitting on the couch but his heart instantly sinks at the sight. Eddie is shaking, rocking back and forth with his arms wrapped around his middle, tears falling down his broken face. Steve rushes over to him and drops to his knees.

   “Eddie, listen to me. It’s okay. I’m here. I’m here and he’s gone and you’re safe. I promise, Eddie. No one will ever hurt you again.”

It’s a promise he shouldn’t make but he means it nonetheless. Because he will not let Eddie push him away this time. He will not ignore his own heart ever again. No matter how much Eddie will try to make up excuses, Steve will not give in. Not again.

He doesn’t care if he’s being intrusive or pushy. Eddie can call him a bad person, can tell him he hates him, can ask him to go and never come back again – Steve will not leave, will not let anything bad ever happen to Eddie again.

   “I- I broke up with him. Told- told him I want him out. He got angry. He-“ Eddie looks down at Steve who’s doing his best not to give in the urge to pull Eddie into his arms.

   “He hurt me, Steve.”

Steve can see the exact moment it hits him. Eddie’s eyes go wide and he touches his cheek. Then, with his other hand, he lifts his shirt revealing shades of blue and purple and green where his skin should be pale.

   “I’m going to take you to the hospital.”

It’s not a question; he’ll forcibly drag Eddie to the car if he has to. He could be hurt even worse than what it already looks like on the outside and Steve is not willing to take that risk.

   “I don’t need-“ Eddie starts but he must see the anger in Steve’s eyes, must see his determination because he swallows the rest of his words down.

They’ve been here before, more than once. And each time Eddie lied to Steve about how it happened or made-up excuses, assured Steve he was fine, that it was only an accident, that it won’t happen again because– ‘He promised.’

And Steve let him. Let him lie and pretend, let him stay where he wasn’t safe just because he was scared of losing Eddie if he tried to push too hard. Lost him anyway, in the end, because Eddie’s... ex didn’t like him. Because he poisoned Eddie’s mind with false accusations, told him that Steve just wanted to get rid of him because he was jealous.

And sure, there had been times Steve had wished he told Eddie the truth about his feelings before that sleaze came along and snatched Eddie away but that was never the point. All Steve ever wanted was for Eddie to be happy.

Eddie was so in love. So blindly in love that he didn’t see the change, realised too late that the man he loved was nothing but a violent, controlling piece of shit.

Steve will never forgive himself for not putting up a fight when Eddie asked him to leave him alone, when he told him he didn’t want Steve to be part of his life anymore.

Steve will forever hate himself for not being there to protect Eddie. For not getting him out of there even though he knew how dangerous it was.

Never again.

He will never make the same mistakes again.

keep reading on ao3

[lady-harrowhark]

If anyone remembers/still cares about my bizarro jaw bone spur debacle from this summer, I have an update for you! I'm fine now, this is all past tense, but probably don't read this if you don't want to hear about dental/bone stuff.

So to recap, earlier this summer I felt some irritation in my mouth and when I checked it out in the mirror, there was a tiny little off-white shard of something sticking out of my gums on the inside of my lower molars. I figured it was a little piece of food that poked me, but when I touched it, it 1) was hard and sharp, 2) would not move, and 3) hurt so bad that it about knocked the wind out of me. Even in the moment I knew this sounded dramatic and highly improbable, but I was immediately Very Sure that it was a little shard of bone.

By the next morning it was so swollen that I couldn't see if it was still there, and after four or five days I ended up calling around and found a dentist who could get me in to take a look because my usual dentist at the student health center didn't have any immediate openings. By that point I was taking Tylenol + ibuprofen around the clock as well as using Orajel numbing gel and icing it, but nothing was touching the pain. Also, the side of my face and down into my neck was starting to swell, and sleeping and eating was extremely difficult due to the pain.

The dentist I ended up seeing was very friendly and pleasant but ultimately pretty dismissive. Nothing showed up on an X-ray but he could see a spot of "hyper-irritation" where I'd had the little shard, and he said it was possible that a "bone spur" worked its way out through my gums. Usually that only happens after oral surgery or an injury, but I'd also had a dental cleaning a few weeks prior that was weirdly aggressive and left that part of my gums bleeding and sore for several days, so it was possible that was enough to dislodge something left over from when I had my wisdom teeth removed years and years ago. Or maybe it was just a little cut. He then told me to alternate the Tylenol and ibuprofen instead of taking them simultaneously and to call back in two weeks if it wasn't better or if it started getting hard to eat or sleep. I reiterated that it already was hard to eat and sleep, and asked if I was understanding him correctly that he wanted me to take LESS pain medication. He paused, and then said to call back in one week if it wasn't better.

So obviously I went out to my car and cried. I have a very skewed pain tolerance from a lifetime of chronic illness experiences and I'm a very smiley and friendly person in general, so I do acknowledge that I don't usually LOOK like I'm in pain, especially to someone who's only just met me. But for me, the fact that I even made an appointment for it is a giveaway that this is like, off the charts levels of pain. I called my dad since he's a doctor and he was able to prescribe some antibiotics for me just in case, and walked me through how to adjust the ibuprofen dose to be the equivalent of prescription strength. I'd decided that if it wasn't any better by the next day, I was going to urgent care. Thankfully it was a smidge better, and over the next maybe two or three weeks it mostly went away, although for while I could still feel sort of a divot on my gum where the bone spur had been.

ANYWAY yesterday I had my regular dentist's visit, the first time I'd been in since then. I told the hygienist about it, and she seemed kind of alarmed, especially because she could also still feel the little spot on my gum. The dentist ALSO seemed pretty shocked and could feel where it was as well.

So here's the update: I apparently have a little bit of extra bone built up around my back lower molars, which is unusual but not unheard of, and mine is very very mild in comparison to what you see when you Google "mandibular tori" - mine is really just that it's slightly rounded or mildly bowed right below my molars rather than going straight down to the bottom of my mouth as is typical, minor enough that no dentists have ever mentioned it to me. I never even realized that wasn't what everyone's were like until this spring when a massage therapist I saw for TMJ stuff mentioned that she noticed it. So in general that's not any sort of issue for me, EXCEPT that the dentist yesterday said that the gum tissue can be pretty thin where it has to stretch over the extra bone, which can also be kind of pointy or sharp.

Given that plus the fact that I hadn't had any sort of recent injury or surgery in the area like you would expect for a bone spur, she said it was more likely that I somehow scraped or cut the gum right down to the bone.

It wasn't a bone spur. That was my literal, actual jaw bone showing through my gums.

[hbyrde36]

The Crawl (Complete)

Part 5 of 5 (Final)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 AO3

WC: 4152

-Eddie-

It did keep happening. 

By the time Eddie was released from the hospital, about a week later and with loads of antibiotics, pain meds, and a packet inches thick of instructions on how to care for his still healing wounds, they knew for sure that they were right. 

Anytime he closed his eyes, even for a brief cat-nap, Eddie would get another flash from the alternate week from hell, or so he called it. Although, occasionally he’d get a glimpse of something more mundane but still decidedly different from the months leading up to it.

As far as he could tell, his other timeline split off on the night Steve first tried to get his attention after Hellfire. 

It was funny to think about how unwilling he was to accept that a well-known, if supposedly reformed, asshole like Steve Harrington would want anything to do with Hellfire, or him, regardless of the kids he seemed to love so much. 

It was strange too– to look back now, through the lens of everything he had come to know, on the months that had followed. How he and Steve had gone from relative strangers, to acquaintances, to friends, and now so much more. 

It wasn’t lost on Eddie that without all the bad shit and the extreme circumstances of his other self dying and being resurrected, only to change everything by sheer chance and a well placed time disturbance, he and Steve might never have gotten to where they were now.

He didn’t want to say he was grateful for it… they would all undoubtedly be better off if the Upside Down had just never existed at all, but if there was a silver lining to be found in all of this, that would be it for him. 

In the alternate version of things, the other Eddie’s memories– though, now that they belonged to him he should probably stop thinking of it that way, the first time he’d seen Steve since graduating had been the moment he threatened him with a broken beer bottle to his neck. 

They recovered from that dramatic re-introduction rather quickly, and went on to share more than a few intriguing little moments between that day and the day that Eddie died. He could see a hint of it there, the potential, in curious glances and countless casual touches made without thought. If only they’d had more time. 

He tried not to dwell on that part though. 

However it had happened, they were here now– was the point. Alive, together, and with a future in front of them full of possibilities and hopefully free of monsters and trauma. 

Eddie had been wondering all week what would happen once he was released. 

Their old trailer was still a no-go. The gate inside of it was closed for good, the world it led to gone, as far as they knew, but there was still a sizable crack in the ceiling. Not to mention the fact that the entire park was now off-limits, cordoned off by temporary fencing– closed to the public by whatever shadowy sector of the government had finally decided to step in to help clean up the mess made by Brenner and his lab. 

Steve said he would have offered his place but his parents had made a surprise return to town in the middle of all the chaos and he wasn’t sure how long they would be staying this time.

Eddie knew Wayne had been living in a nearby motel and just sort of assumed that would be home for now. He was more than a little surprised to find out, as they waited for his discharge to be finalized, that Hopper had offered them his cabin to stay in for as long as they needed. The chief was living with the Byers full time anyway so he hadn’t hesitated to make the offer when he realized they were stuck. 

He asked Steve to come with them, would have begged outright if he wasn’t already afraid he was being too clingy, but Steve said he couldn’t. Though, he didn’t look any happier about the idea of being separated than Eddie was. 

It was tough to think about being apart for any amount of time after they’d been sleeping in his hospital bed together for almost the entirety of his stay, with Steve only ever leaving his side to go home for a shower in the mornings or to pick up food, but Steve seemed to think he would be imposing.

A ridiculous idea. 

Eddie tried to convince him otherwise, but Steve was sure that Wayne would mind, and didn’t want to make a bad first impression on his new boyfriend’s only family by being a nuisance so soon. He felt the need to point out that Steve had been hanging around their house for months. He and Wayne saw each other literally all the time– meaning they were well past first impressions at this point, but he insisted it was different now that they were a couple. 

A couple.

Boyfriends.

The idea itself, let alone hearing Steve say the actual words, was enough to keep Eddie warm for at least one night, so he let it go. 

They parted reluctantly in the hospital parking lot, after everyone else who’d come to see Eddie off had left, with Steve promising to come up and visit the next day. 

Maybe then, after they sat Wayne down and told him about their relationship, as if he hadn’t figured it out already, maybe then he could talk Steve into it. It was probably too soon to discuss actual living together, considering they’d only been together for a week, but maybe he could just stay with them temporarily, at least until it was all a little less raw.

Eddie was exhausted from the day. He hadn’t actually done much, the kids had all helped Wayne move what few belongings of theirs had been salvageable into the cabin while he was languishing away in the hospital, but it was still the most he’d been up and moving around since the final battle. 

Regardless of how tired he was, he tossed and turned for hours, unable to ignore the way his skin itched where it was healing, or find a comfortable position to rest in alone, having grown so used to having another body pressed closely to his. 

And he couldn’t stop thinking about Steve.

Wondering if he was alright, wishing he was there, and… okay, maybe he was also possibly avoiding sleep on purpose so he wouldn’t have to see anything, since he wouldn't have cuddles from Steve to wake up to and make him feel better. 

Pathetic? Maybe, but it was the truth.

Which was why he was still awake at 3am when a series of hesitant knocks sounded on the front door of the cabin. 

It had to be someone in the party, no one else knew they were there. Eddie’s name had been cleared officially, sure, but it would take time for the news to spread and be accepted by a town full of people who had hunted one boy down like an animal based only on circumstantial evidence and the word of another boy who was blind with grief and his own prejudices.

Wayne got to the door first, of course. Eddie was doing better by the day, but his injuries still had him moving painfully slow. When he did finally make it out of his room, what he saw made his heart drop through the floor. Wayne was grasping on tightly to a weeping Steve, holding him up as the boy fell apart in his arms.

Eddie shuffled closer as fast as he could, finally catching their attention.

“There, see? Look at him, son.” Wayne said gently, coaxing Steve into lifting his head. “Eddie’s just fine– he’s right there.”

His eyes were so red and swollen that Eddie wasn’t sure Steve could see him, but he nodded anyway, sniffling as Wayne released him, transferring him over into Eddie’s arms instead. 

Eddie braced himself, worried that he didn't have the strength to support them both, but Wayne was right there with a hand on his back for support, just in case. 

Steve buried his face in Eddie’s neck as they embraced, babbling, “I'm s-s- so sorry. I woke up and you weren’t there. I forgot, I forgot I was alone and… I- I knew we made it out, that you were okay but I needed to see. I just needed to see you.” 

Eddie ran his hands in soothing circles along Steve’s back, shushing him, and telling him it was okay.

“Come on,” he said, when Steve had calmed some. “Let’s go lay down on my bed so I can hold you properly.”

Steve pulled back, biting his lip and cutting a sharp nervous glance at Wayne 

Eddie huffed a gentle laugh, taking Steve’s hand and squeezing it. “Baby, we were sharing my hospital bed, I think he knows.”

“You don't need to worry about me, Steve. I’m just glad the two of you finally figured yourselves out. It was getting painful to watch, frankly.” Wayne said, letting out his own small amused chuckle. He gave Steve one last little pat on the shoulder and finally retired back to his own room.

They laid quietly on the bed facing each other, arms and legs entwined as much as they could manage without putting pressure on Eddie’s bites. Steve refused to take his eyes off of him for even a second while wearing the most tortured expression. 

He didn’t seem to want to talk about what happened, but that was okay. Eddie knew Steve was still struggling with the loss of the other Eddie, and having to leave him behind to fade with the Upside Down. Though, with Eddie gaining the other’s memories he had to wonder if that still meant he was lost.

“Feeling any better?” Eddie asked after a while.

Steve nodded, running his fingers through Eddie’s hair. “Always better when you’re with me.” He said sleepily.

Eddie gave a soft, breathy laugh. “What a line.” He whispered, leaning in to capture Steve's lips with his own. 

It was meant to be a chaste kiss, a sweet moment before they both inevitably passed out from exhaustion, but it quickly turned heated. 

It was nearly sunrise before they finally fell asleep.

After all, they had been apart for over 12 hours, surely that kind of reunion was worthy of an hours-long make out session, right? 

They slept all day until Wayne knocked on the door to make them come eat something. 

They sat as close together as the kitchen chairs would allow, their thighs pressed together under the table, compelled to have some form of physical contact no matter what, even while they were eating. 

Dinner was quiet, unusually so. Eddie would normally have been talking away, filling the silence with whatever popped into his head, but he was tired. He also knew his uncle must be wondering what had happened the night before, but he wasn’t really sure what to do about that. 

Wayne kept giving them sideways glances, clearly trying to ignore the silence, pretending like it wasn’t completely abnormal for Eddie who typically never shut up. But eventually, having apparently had enough, he gently set his fork down on the table and looked squarely at the two of them. 

“Now, look boys, I know I ain’t supposed to ask any questions about what happened to you two, and honestly-” he paused, blowing out a long breath. “I'm not sure I want to know. But if you want to talk, if you think it’ll help, I’m here for you. Both of you– for whatever you need, and nothing you’d say to me would ever leave the three of us.”

It was actually something they’d discussed however briefly before falling asleep. It didn’t seem fair to leave Wayne in the dark when he’d been nothing but supportive so far, even after Steve showed up at his doorstep in the middle of the night crying that he needed to make sure Eddie wasn't dead again.

“I’m not sure you’d believe us if we told you.” 

“I’ve seen some shit, Steve. You’d be surprised what I'm willing to believe.” 

Wayne took it well enough.

Not a single look of doubt crossed his face as he listened to the whole saga of Hawkins lab and the Upside Down. Worry? Certainly, but never once did he question if what he was being told was the truth. Not even when they told him about the other Eddie, though he did look a little haunted by the thought of it.

Steve took the lead for the most part, since he’d been there for so much more of things, and at several points in the storytelling Wayne did ask him to stop, to give him a moment to process things and also to ask, where were his parents? Why didn’t they ever seem to show up when he needed them? How could their son have been dealing with all this shit, for all this time, and they still have no idea it was going on?

Eddie was glad for it. He’d had some of the same questions on his mind since he learned the full truth of things, but they’d been dealing with so much. He knew Steve’s parents weren’t around a lot but it always felt like there was more to it, he just hadn’t really known how to ask. 

Steve tried to brush it off, but as patient as Wayne was, he was also persistent, and eventually Steve had to admit that his parents were hardly ever home. When they were, it seemed all they would do was judge him for not doing better in school, or in sports, or in life in general. Far from being concerned when the mall mysteriously caught fire, they had called to say how disappointed they were that he hadn’t gone out and gotten another job already. Never once asking if he had been there that day, if he was okay. 

When it was all over, and Wayne finally knew everything they had to tell, all he did was nod and start clearing the table. 

“You know, Steve, we got plenty of room here if you’d like to come stay with us.” He said casually, as he put all their dishes in the sink.

Eddie grinned.

“Oh.” Steve said, blinking in surprise. He looked from Eddie’s smiling face to Wayne’s back, opening and closing his mouth like a fish out of water. 

“Um, thank you. I… do you– do you mean just for now, or…” Steve trailed off. 

Wayne turned, drying his hands on a kitchen towel and shrugged. “For now, or for good. It’s up to you and Ed really. I’m happy to have you, son, and I'd sleep better at night if I knew you were right here– safe under my borrowed roof.”

Steve bit his lip, still looking at them both hesitantly like was truly unsure of his welcome. 

Wayne sighed, plopping back down in his chair.

Eddie was familiar with this particular expression, having been the receiving end of it more than a few before. Wayne was uncomfortable about whatever it was he was about to say, but damned it he wasn’t going to say it anyway.

“I know you two probably feel like it’s too soon for all this, and ignore an old man if you like because God knows I only know what i’m talking about roughly half the time, but–”

A lie, Wayne was always right, but Eddie decided it wasn’t the time to argue. 

“Your relationship might be new, but the way you feel about each other ain’t. You’ve been through Hell together, in this life and another, it seems. That kinda thing either brings people together or breaks them apart, and from where I'm sittin’ it looks like it’s only made you closer, stronger.”

Eddie took Steve’s hand that was resting on the table and laced their fingers together. 

Wayne tilted his head. “Maybe a little codependent but it’s not the worst thing in the world.” He murmured. 

“Move in, Stevie?” Eddie asked, looking Steve firmly in the eye. “Please, I want you to stay for good. And it’s not just about me wanting you here after my nightmare memories, or wanting to get you away from your shitty parents. Wayne’s right, and who cares if it’s too soon. We both know better than most how short life can be.”

“My parents kicked me out.” Steve blurted out suddenly. “There was a message on the machine from Keith, saying I was fired for too many no call no shows. They heard it and flipped out on me when I came home yesterday.  I have till the end of the week to get out.”

“Baby, why didn’t you say something sooner?”

Steve shrugged, “I didn’t want you to feel obligated or–.”

“What were you gonna do, sleep in your car?”

“If I had to.” Steve admitted. “Or sneak into Robin’s house.”

“Well, that settles it then.” Wayne said with finality. “When do you wanna go get your stuff? I can go with you if you want.”

Steve looked down, cheeks going a little pink. “It’s all in my car already. The stuff I wanted to keep anyway. I packed it up before I went to bed last night.”

3 Months later

Steve held up another god-awful polo shirt and waved it in his direction. “You sure you don’t want to borrow something of mine? Look, it's even black!”

Eddie was tearing through their small closet, no closer to finding what he was looking for than he had been ten minutes ago. 

“No way, Harrington. That look is all you. Besides–” He grunted as he finally pulled the plain black dress shirt from between a sea of red, black, and gray flannels, holding it up triumphantly. “I have this, and a brand new pair of non-ripped jeans that I was saving just for the occasion.”

It was graduation day and they were getting ready to go and cheer on Robin, Nancy, and Jonathan as they walked across the stage to get their diplomas. 

Eddie wouldn’t be joining them. 

He’d been given a choice when the doctor’s cleared him to return to school. He could go back, knowing he was likely to fail, all the while being subjected to hate and vitriol from the rest of the student body, or, if he agreed to never set foot on school property again, they would pass him, and send his diploma in the mail. 

It was an easy decision. He took the diploma. It was no skin off his back. The only thing he missed about that place was Hellfire, and it was simple enough to move their weekly game to the cabin, and a hell of a lot more pleasant than the old musty drama room provided by the school. 

Technically he’d be breaking his word today by showing up to the ceremony, since it was being held in the school’s auditorium, but he figured, fuck Higgins. Eddie already had the diploma. What were they gonna do, make him give it back? Nothing was going to stop him from showing up for three of the people who’d had his back before they ever really knew each other. 

“Boys! I hope you’re getting dressed in there, we gotta leave in fifteen minutes!” Wayne shouted from the other room.

Eddie grinned, buttoning his shirt up as he caught Steve’s eye through the mirror, while the other boy fixed his hair.

They giggled in unison, both of them knowing full well that they should have been dressed a while ago, but that was the thing sometimes about sharing a room with your significant other, someone starts to get undressed and suddenly it becomes really easy to get distracted.

Things had been going great for a while now. Steve eventually stopped looking at him like he was going to disappear, and Eddie’s dreams had slowed to a crawl before finally stopping altogether, leaving him with a full set of alternate memories. He didn’t think about it all that much anymore. As quickly as they had come, the memories started to fade into the background. There, if he wanted to poke at them, but easy enough to leave in the past if he so chose, which he did most of the time. 

Still, as good as things were, as happy as they were, Eddie was nervous. He had a big question to ask Steve and he wasn’t sure how the other boy was going to take it. 

Eddie cleared his throat and walked over to where Steve stood, wrapping his arms around him from behind. 

“Hey, Stevie, what would you think about getting out of here?”

“Like, the cabin?”

“I was thinking more like… Hawkins.”  

Steve stilled, hesitating before he responded. “And go where?”

Eddie took a deep breath, letting it all out in a rush. “What if we got a place in New York with a certain friend of ours who’ll be going to school there in the fall?”

At first Steve broke out into the widest smile imaginable, his eyes sparkling with it and Eddie thought maybe this wouldn't be such a hard sell, but a split second later Steve’s face fell. 

“What about the kids, we can't just leave them here on their own.” 

Eddie rested his chin on Steve’s shoulder, still watching him carefully through the mirror as he swayed them back and forth, subtly trying to soothe the other boy’s nerves. 

“They won’t be on their own, baby, they have parents, families, each other. And it’s not like we wouldn’t come visit. It’s a 10 hour drive– hour and a half by plane if we’re in a hurry.”

“You’ve really put some thought into this, haven't you?” 

“I’ve been thinking about it for a while now. Since Robin got her letter.” 

Steve chewed on his bottom lip, turning in Eddie’s arms to face him. 

“I don’t know.”

“Don’t be stupid, of course you should go.” Dustin said, suddenly appearing in the doorway. 

They both jumped, completely forgetting that the kid was getting dropped off here to ride to the ceremony with them since his mom had to work. 

“Jesus Christ, kid, put a fucking bell on or something.” Eddie said.

“Dustin, what? You want me to leave?” Steve asked, leaving the circle of Eddie’s arms to take a step towards the kid.

“It’s over. For real this time, Steve. I know you think you need to stay here to protect us, but you deserve to get out of here– start your life. We’ll be fine, I promise. You’ll call and you’ll visit, and you better get a comfortable couch for me to sleep on when I come to stay with you.”

Forget the bell, if it made him happy this kid could sneak up on Eddie all he wanted, because he’d just said the one thing that might convince Steve to finally leave this place and it’s awful history behind.

“Are you sure?” Steve asked.

Dustin nodded emphatically. “Robin needs you, and it’ll be… easier for the two of you in the city, won’t it?”

Their relationship was no secret to the party, least of all Dustin since he and Will had witnessed their coming together in the Upside Down. They’d told everyone else not long after Steve had officially moved into the cabin. 

Eddie took Steve’s hand and squeezed. Steve squeezed back.

It would be easier. There would be places– shops, gay bars, whole neighborhoods where they could walk down the street hand-in-hand, in relative safety compared to their small Indiana town. 

“And you’ll come visit? The others too?”

Dustin grinned, making a waffling motion with his hand.  “Might take some convincing to get Mike to come along, but yeah. For Eddie, he’ll do it.”

Steve laughed, shaking his head. “He’s never gonna forgive me for dating his sister is he?”

“Nope,” Dustin said, chuckling as well. 

“So, what d’ya say, sunshine?” Eddie asked. 

Infuriatingly, Steve still hesitated. “And Wayne, he’s okay with this?”

As if summoned, although more likely he was just getting tired of waiting around for them all, Wayne popped his head around the corner with perfect comedic timing. “Stop worrying about what other people want, boy, what do you want?”

Steve sighed, smiling sheepishly.

“Can I be the one to tell Robin? It’ll be a much better graduation gift than the watch I planned on giving her.”

“Of course, baby.” Eddie quickly agreed.

“Okay, then.”

“Is that a yes? Are we really doing this? Are we moving to New York?!”

Steve nodded and leaned over, pressing a kiss to Eddie’s cheek.

“It’s a yes.”

Thanks forever to @penny00dreadful for being the best friend, cheerleader, and beta in the whole fucking world 💜 truly could not do it without you. Also special thanks to @hitlikehammers for all the discussion and encouragement on this!

@hissunflowers @sadisticaltarts @gutterflower77 @epiclazershark @yeahhhh-suga @soapyscoobert @thetrueghostqueen @guppynuggets @reh-hateshumans @katdeerly @kolorzapster @useless-nb-bisexual @sammyammi @ellietheasexylibrarian @thesecondfate @eleganttidalwavecloud @localcrustrat @letsmo6 @justaquietnerd @marvelobessed @femmeratale @carriethesaint @novelnovella

[selfpositiveundertale]

Update

CW: discussion of trauma (the trauma was a bad car accident)

I was able to pay for my dog's vet appointment and her medicine thanks to the person who paypal'd me ❤️❤️❤️ She isn't happy about having to take medicine again but hopefully this will be the last round, it's pretty much just probiotics and something to settle her stomach because the antibiotics really did a number on her tummy.

My hands ache from the crash but it's no worse than the soreness after crocheting for several hours. I can do some crocheting but I find thicker yarn much easier and less painful to work with right now. That said, I got a bunch of chenille yarn a while back and I have some larger plush versions of my Ralsei amogus dolls in the works. The first one is almost done, I just have to assemble and attach the hat. Will post a pic when he's done. I want to have at least 2 each with and without squeakers made and then I might reopen my Etsy shop and list them. They will cost more due to the cost of materials, but I'll probably mostly have dolls made of the chenille yarn for a while, at least until I can work with normal yarn without pain within minutes again. I'm hoping to sell a couple by Tuesday because I have another chiropractic appointment that day I'll need to pay for and my husband doesn't get paid again until Friday.

I'm still trying to process what happened. I'm seeing my therapist tomorrow and I will be discussing it with her. This therapist is new to me, my previous one that I had for a few years left the place I'm with and is now working elsewhere. We've only had like 2 sessions but she seems nice. It's just a little frustrating having to break in a new therapist all over again but not really a problem so I'm not worried.

I drove today, to take my dog to the vet. It was scary. I didn't realize how paranoid I would be of other drivers, fully expecting anyone and everyone to whip out in front of me when they're waiting to exit a parking lot to the road or suddenly veer into my lane when they're right beside me and I panicked every time I saw them. It took a lot of self control to not slam on the brakes and to remind myself that other people are not going to do things like that. I have to remember I know how to drive safely and most people are not going to be so reckless as to do the dangerous things my brain is expecting them to do. My anxiety around driving is almost back to where it was while I was still very new at it, terrified to be on the road with other people and having no trust in them and even less trust in myself. I have to build up my confidence again and I have no idea how long it will take.

I have to say, getting hit by one huge trauma all at once sure feels different from the trauma I'm used to, which is the kind that builds up over many years in a toxic and dysfunctional family. It's kind of surreal, I find myself wondering if it was all a dream but then I see the bruises on my legs and feel the ache in my palms and how stiff and sore my body still is even after a chiropractic appointment and see the empty space where I would have parked my vehicle and I have to remember it really happened. I get this weird chill that seeps up the back of my head like cold water in my hair when I remember it. And yeah, I'm grateful I walked away with nothing worse than bruises and stuff my chiropractor fixes literally all the time anyway, but I wish it didn't happen.

It's all such a mess. Right now I'm just trying to focus on keeping myself fed with good food and busy with things that can make some money. I'm making chili tomorrow because it's one of the less expensive things I can make, and also I could use some comfort food after the week I've had. And maybe the familiar routine of cooking the beans will help soothe my brain. I only use dry beans as I can't stand the texture of canned beans. Cooking them isn't difficult or complicated, just time consuming and I think the 2 or 3 hours it'll take to cook them will do me some good.

It's after midnight and I'm exhausted, so I'm gonna try to get some sleep. Goodnight, and stay determined.

❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜

[lesless]

2 AM terrible ear pressure. 4 AM a weird glug glug glug sound behind my ear, like something viscous draining. The pressure felt relieved, I was finally able to fall asleep again. Woke up to dried blood all over my ear & pillowcase.

Anyway now I’m at the doctor. Friend who visited, who i’d like to murder right now for coughing all over my fucking house with uncovered mouth, said he had to get antibiotics for a bacterial infection.

& has the audacity to invite himself over again in 2 weeks bc he wants to ski. Absolutely not. Fuck off.

[sinisterpeople]

Hi guys, I kind of really need around 200 dollars now. Long story will be under the cut. I know not everyone has money right now, especially during the holidays, but I thought I'd give it a try anyway.

My kofi and paypal are sinisterpeople.

I moved to another country on my last money because living in my homecountry is very scary right now, R**sia bordering us and all, but also I want to transition socially and medically one day, and here it's much more available. Money's been tight overall, but I could manage with my savings.

However, my roommate that's been my friend of 11 years, with whom I agreed to live, has been acting very bad to me, to say the least. We lived with her abusive boyfriend (she never told me he would live with us, and she managed to keep him away only after several breakdowns of mine), and she also had a bad hoarding problem, as well as the problems with hygiene, so our place was literally rotting and smelling Very bad, along with having insects. I could try managing with that since I have an experience, but she decided to top it off with getting a kitten and a parrot several weeks before I came, both of whom she neglected and whom I had to care about. I have severe allergies and have problems with breathing (rhinitis), but I'm not diagnosed with asthma so she thought I made my allergy attacks up to get people's attention.

I decided to move out, and I successfully did, however I caught tonsillitis 2 days after moving in and had to buy myself antibiotics and other medicine, which was very pricey. I also couldn't take or even "fully buy" things we bought together with me, since I "used it more than her". I wasn't able to cook myself anything for 2 weeks and had to rely on small cafes near me (I don't have anyone who could cook for me sadly, and it was very hard to cook without a pot, or pan, or anything besides 2 cups). After getting better, I finally bought myself house utensils. It all took a big hit on my wallet.

I don't really like sharing my sob stories with you all, but it would really mean a lot if you could help me during this time.

[kangals]

the mystery of the boone PeePee continues (and boy am i getting tired of doctors telling me "i've never seen this before")

boone's culture came back with a very definitive "clear" from the lab, so given that we've now ruled out a UTI i brought him in for an abdominal ultrasound to take a closer look at his kidneys and check for abnormalities. the ultrasound showed two very important things:

1- both kidneys have deterioration consistent with chronic kidney disease - between this and his lab values, he's at about a stage 2 out of 4. this is still really early and in theory should be easily controllable with the rx diet for quite a while. good!

2- his right kidney and the surrounding fat and tissues are inflamed and dilated. this virtually always means there's a kidney infection. easy fix! except.... we just got a urine culture back that says there is no infection. not only that, but they sent it back early - as in, the lab was so 100% confident in not finding a single shred of bacteria that they called their shot before the full waiting period was up. both the radiologist and GP were perplexed by this, as there's not really anything else that causes these type of symptoms/findings except for the one thing we're being told very clearly it is not. hm.

given that, they want to try boone on a 2-week course of a heavy-duty antibiotic anyway and then do another ultrasound after and see what happens - if the swelling and/or symptoms are better, it's possible it was just the world's most sneaky kidney infection and should be fixable. if not, well, probably time to bring in an internist and get their thoughts. i have very low confidence that boone will tolerate this antibiotic as he has a super sensitive stomach when it comes to medications, but it's worth a try.

as with all of his other health problems, the doctors' consensus seems to be "this is a really weird presentation but i thiiink it's this thing?" which, hey, at least he's consistent.

[youremyheaven]

Take this as constructive criticism or just me sharing my views. ITS NOT AN ATTACK

But I would really won't rely on doctors saying Lyme is just bunch of bs, I don't have it but I have 5 doctors at home and about pain , Man doctors are such sadist according to my sister who is a practicing doctor , she says if a doctor says you will be in mild discomfort it means it will hurt like bitch but if he/she says it won't hurt it means it will hurt but will be tolerable . My personal experience with medical professionals have also not been good I have been gaslighted so many times my symptoms were normal till I ended up in ICU so, no doctors/medical professionals are not always right.

Secondly, Andrew huberman is a piece of shit for what he did but supplements/probiotics do make a difference. Probably some supplements won't do things companies say, as companies often reach with thir claims like saying green tea will help you with weight loss, no for that you will have to drink a lot but saying green tea is not beneficial for health is false. As someone who was on very extended period of antibiotics, probiotics and yogurt has helped me immensely and it's still something that helps me when I have gut issues.

Anyways not an attack , I enjoy reading your work ✌

First of, I agree, doctors are shady as hell and esp as a woman, navigating the medical system and getting someone to take you seriously IS a challenge

I had already explained how Lyme disease is a legitimate illness caused by tick bites and "Chronic Lyme" is a separate "condition" that's unrelated to it.

Lyme disease is not a severe or life threatening condition btw. It's literally a very minor, completely treatable and fully curable condition that will go away with 2 weeks of antibiotics

Manyyy doctors have commented upon Bella's illness and how it makes no sense she has been suffering for 10+ years from ...a tick bite???

Also she has literally posted her medical history and it's all fake 😭😭

So yes, I stand my ground that whatever Bella has, isn't a real condition that can be verified by actual medical professionals :/

Another thing is that Chronic Lyme's symptoms are hella vague and not at all specific to cHroNic lYme, like if all your symptoms can be experienced by an average person, then how tf does one determine who is sick??

It's not like there hasn't been medical research done into this super rare disease and the entire medical community has been unhelpful to Bella. It's that, it's absurd and insane for this condition to persist over a lifetime??? Like that's not how it works???

I completely agree that doctors can be wrong but Chronic Lyme not being a real condition isn't some doctor's personal opinion. It's a medically disproven condition aka SCIENCE has proven that its not legit??

Obviously even science can be wrong sometimes, so maybe in the future we'll know about how Chronic Lyme is a super rare and advanced condition or whatever idk

Now about probiotics, research has shown:

"The majority of studies to date have failed to reveal any benefits in individuals who are already healthy.” The bacteria seem to help only those people suffering from a few specific intestinal disorders. “There is no evidence to suggest that people with normal gastrointestinal tracts can benefit from taking probiotics,” says Matthew Ciorba, a gastroenterologist at Washington University in St. Louis. “If you're not in any distress, I would not recommend them.” Emma Allen-Vercoe, a microbiologist at the University of Guelph in Ontario, agrees. For the most part, she says, “the claims that are made are enormously inflated.” (from an article published by Scientific American)

Even with vitamin supplements, unless somebody has a serious deficiency, I don't see how taking supplements is prioritised over consuming actual vitamin rich food??? It's literally just a capitalist technique to make people buy shit they don't need. Imagine brainwashing people into thinking they should take vitamin c pills instead of yk... eating oranges or whatever???

Probiotics help those who have intestinal issues, which as per your description, I think you do. Majority of people already have gut bacteria and don't need to take probiotic supplements for it??? Or they can consume probiotic enhancing food like yoghurt (which I love 🤤)

I'm not attacking the concept of probiotics, just the way they're marketed and sold to the public to be some miracle cure when it's just as easy and convenient for people to eat food meant to help with healthy gut bacteria instead of yk paying for unnecessary supplements.

[mystery-star]

Whumptober 2023  - Day 2 | Thermometer

Pairing: none, but from a series that will be John Biebe x fem!OC

Warnings: sickness

Words: 2036

A/N: Now this OC has been on my mind for way too long and I’m happy to finally introduce her to y’all 😊

Today’s prompt: Thermometer

-

February 1982

Another coughing fit wrecked through Bee’s body. It wasn’t before long that the door opened and her mother entered. She placed a mug of tea on her nightstand and sat down on the chair next to the bed, holding out her hand to check her temperature. Bee only let out a moan and tried to pull away, not appreciating to be touched when she already felt so bad. With a sigh Joanne Burns took the thermometer from the nightstand.

“Your temperature has risen again” she commented after the measurement was done, making the teenager shake her head.

“But I’m so cold” she muttered, trying to pull the blanket even further up.

“Then drink some tea, sweetheart” she let out a huff and wanted to retort something when there was a knock at the door. Bee almost shot up, having an idea who this might be. In fact, the visits of her classmate, and probably now something like a friend, John were the highlight of her day. She knew she was right about her thought when she heard her little sister cry out his name in joy. Despite the pain, Bee let out a soundless chuckle. It would seem she was not the only infatuated with John, Marla obviously liked him just as much. After he’d greeted the baby and her mother, he entered her room.

“Hey” she gave him a smile and tried to pat the chair next to her bed but didn’t even feel strong enough to get her arm out from under the blankets. In frustration she tried to paw at the bedsheet but it didn’t work much better either. Luckily, he still got the clue or planned to sit down anyways.

“How are you today?”

“Don’t know. The same. Sick” she grimaced “Anyways, the better question is what you did in school” the main reason his visits had started were because John learnt that her friend Charlie only brought her the homework and she would have appreciated to hear what they learnt firsthand too. So John, who felt responsible for her sickness, even though it was not his fault, started to come to her place every day to not just deliver the homework but also all the papers they did in school and give her a recap of the day. Then she had been well enough to go back to school but not even two weeks later she started to feel worse and worse during school and had finally fainted on the way to the toilet whereupon she was sent home and it was soon discovered that the pneumonia had come back. That had been four days ago. And this time even worse than before because thanks to the last time her body had built up an immunity to the antibiotics.

“Alright” John said opening his bag and taking out today’s papers they must have worked on. Bee turned on her side so she could see it better and also face him a little more. “We got started with the tangent today in math. It’s related to sine and cosine and actually is the quotient of them both. At least I guess” he said getting out the paper. “Yeah right here. The sine of the angle divided by its cosine equals the tangent”

“So I need to know these other two first?”

“No. ‘Cause then he let us derive how you get it using the sides”

“Oh that should be easy enough” she muttered and John handed her the pencil that was on her nightstand and placed the paper on the book “Let’s see…. We know it’s the quotient of sine and cosine, which means we’ll replace that with their respective functions, which should give us a nice compound fraction that we’ll have to solve, which’ll most likely end in another fraction. Alrighty then, we have sine… and the cosine…” she wrote down the functions “Oh would you look at that. Hypotenuse is both times the denominator, guess that makes it gonna get ruled out. Meaning you’ll use the quotient of Adjacent and Opposite but don’t know which one’s gonna be denominator and which the numerator. Probably Opposite for the latter because it’s used for the sine which is on top and won’t be turned upside down” John chuckled

“Don’t think anyone even figured out what to do in the time you basically solved this”

“Well, it’s just rules and logical thinking. No calculating”

“Well alright, finish your ‘thinking’ then so we can go on to the calculations we got to do” with a nod she wrote down the next steps when she felt cold again and then her teeth started chattering “You okay?”

“Ju-just cold” she answered and wanted to snuggle up further when her whole body started trembling and she shivered even harder. That was odd. She usually only reacted like that if she was at a cold place and didn’t realize it was in fact that cold and that perhaps she should have dressed warmer.

“Woah, Bee” he had jumped up “It’s alright, calm down” he tried to cover her up further, taking away the pencil and putting her arm under the blanket too “Here have a drink” he wanted to help her sit up but she felt too weak to move willingly and hell, she also panicked a little because she had had shivered before but never that heavily. “Mrs. Burns!” of course it wasn’t before long that her mother entered, asking what was wrong but then just hurried over to Bee, wanting to know what happened “I don’t know. She was doing homework, then started shivering and said she felt cold. Then she started to tremble like this” her mother put a hand to her forehead and although she wanted to fight her off, Bee was too weak to do it.

“Get me some wet towels from the kitchen. The cupboard left below the sink” she had not even finished when John already left the room and she heard her baby sister coo out his name. Meanwhile, Joanne tried to entice her to drink some tea too but Bee only turned her head away “What do you need, sweetheart?” instead of answering, she shook her head, trying to curl up further to warm herself because not only the trembling was unnerving but the coldness too.

“I didn’t know of you meant cold or hot towels so I brought both” she heard John but didn’t have the strength to look up

“Warm” she just muttered

“Put it on her face” John complied or more like carefully started wiping her face with it instead and her mother got up, opening her wardrobe and then returned with a thick pair of socks and a jumper. Seeing the jumper she almost sat up herself and let her classmate help. He even assisted her with getting her head through the hole in the jumper while her mother lifted the blanket “Where are your socks?” Bee grimaced. Socks in bed were very uncomfortable, even if she was sick or cold. So of course she had taken them off first chance she got. With a sigh Joanne put on the thick socks and Bee was glad she didn’t inquire further or make a comment about it. Then she tried to make her drink a bit but Bee had enough after just one sip. She just wanted to lie down and curl up again. Luckily, her mother complied and then left the room, returning with another blanket which she carefully draped over her daughter. Bee snuggled up further and John helped her adjust the blanket a bit “Are you feeling better?” she didn’t’ reply but at least the feeling of coldness wasn’t that bad anymore but still she trembled. Again, the boy placed the warm towel on her face but this time left it there.

“What else can we do?”

“I guess it’s best to let her rest a bit and wait until it’s over” Her mother sat down on the chair, looking at her daughter. For another time, it seemed like an eternity, the trembling went on, then she finally felt her body calm down. Then Joanne got up “I think it’s better if you continue this tomorrow, she should look after herself.” she walked to the door. Bee let out a little huff. She didn’t want John to leave. After all she still needed to know so much and she was always looking forward to the history lessons, even though it currently was a topic that didn’t interest her currently. Then again, somehow she didn’t feel awake enough to do something herself.

“I think I’ll stay” John said and she smiled to herself “We’ve got to finish a chapter in ‘Wuthering Heights’ until Friday and I thought I could read it to her�� a part of her wanted to tell him that she had already finished the book yesterday in her boredom. Also because somehow she felt bad that he spent so much of his time telling her everything they did in school, up to three hours a day when he also needed to complete community service on some of them. And Bee felt responsible because if John’s friends had not pushed her into a pile of snow, from which he had helped her out and got her home he father, the judge, would have never learned what had been going on and leading to John needing to tell the truth; that he had been out with friends drinking and then got punished for underage drinking. Funnily enough, John blamed her sickness on this incident, or mainly her being stuck in snow for a while, which was also the reason he had started coming to see her every day after she had been missing it out for more than three days.

“Alright. But not too long” with a nod he sat down and took her book from the nightstand. He opened it where the bookmark was, on the last page

“You finished it?”

“I…” a part of her wanted to lie but she couldn’t “Yeah. I was bored yesterday”

“Oh well…” he just wanted to put it away

“But if you want to read it you can still do it. Like read it for yourself that you did the homework” he shook his head

“I’m here for you. History it is then I guess”

“Yay” she muttered

“I thought you don’t like World War II?”

“I mean I don’t think anyone liked the war. Maybe Hitler. Or well maybe not so much towards the end when they were losing”

“Which was when?”

“1945”

“A bit more specific?”

“Spring?” he raised an eyebrow

“You mean you can tell which battle happened where on each day of the Civil war but can’t answer this? That was less than forty years ago, Bee”

“There you have it. It’s not even forty years ago. Our parents were alive then. That’s not history. That’s just politics. And politics is boring”

“So how much does it need to be in the past that you consider it history?”

“Dunno. 80 to 100 years I guess”

“So what happened today one hundred years ago?”

“Oh I don’t know. 1882…. Not today but Charles Darwin died. And in March there was some shit going on in Tombstone, Arizona between the Clantons and Earps, you know after the O.K corral gunfight, which actually has been on 26th of October 1881 but their feud went on and one of the younger Earp brothers, Morgan, was killed. No one knows who did it though. Oh and Franklin Roosevelt was born in 1882. See? Now that connects to World War II” he shook his head

“You are something…”

“Oh yeah? You love hockey but can you tell me who played in the NHL finale of uhhh let’s say 1950? Or with what score even?”

“Err no"

“But you can tell me who played yesterday and what the score was? And who’s gonna play today? Or who won the Stanley Cup last year? And probably even who scored the winning goal?”

“Alright I see”

“Well then” she got more comfortable “Do tell me what about World War II Mr. Walker wants us to know so bad”

[hyenaswine]

sorry this is just me rambling about veterinary stuff & i don't remember how to do a read more or if tumblr even has that function. it's nothing major or terrible

so bubo's got a lot going on right now. he spent a couple nights in the hospital last month with bronchitis/asthma (main symptom was abdominal breathing; cats should not be breathing so hard that they have to use their abs to move air in & out of their lungs). while he was there they also diagnosed him with hyperthyroidism & lymphocytosis based on blood work. this is on top of his prior history of head trauma, neurological damage, feline viral rhinotracheitis, eosinophilic granuloma complex, food allergies that cause his skin to get red & angry & start sloughing off if he eats [checks notes] MEAT. ANY KIND OF MEAT. WHAT KIND OF GOD MAKES AN OBLIGATE CARNIVORE THAT'S ALLERGIC TO MEAT?

oh & he also barfs when he purrs too much.

ANYWAY. his breathing is better now but he still clearly has a secondary infection because he has yellow-green nasal discharge that isn't improving with his current antibiotic. he's on methimazole for his thyroid & there's not really a way to tell if that's working without blood work, so we'll do that in 2 weeks. i was supposed to taper him down on prednisolone to only every other day, but now it looks like his skin might be going bad again & that's so hard to control once it starts, so i'm still giving the pred daily (eosinophilic granuloma complex is an autoimmune disease that attacks the skin & pred is an immune suppressant).

i thought i was going crazy cuz to me it looks like the left side of his face - specifically his ear, that bald spot cats have in front of their ear, & his lips - gets kind of red & puffy in the nighttime, but ONLY the left side, & ONLY at night. his left eye also waters. he also has a weird little sore in the crook of his left arm (i mean... left front leg. on the cranial aspect of the left front leg just distal to the elbow, ok? if you wanna get technical).

i took the above photos to show his vet at his next appointment; he's clearly got a fat lippy & he's started developing comedones (cat acne) on his chin. he also just seems dumpy! he's a cat so it's hard to tell but he seems to be sleeping more than usual & is just quiet & not himself. at the appointment with his regular vet i feel like she just kind of brushed off the lymphocytosis, but since that was confirmed by a pathologist & can be a sign of lymphoma or non-viral leukemia, i'm worried about it. the answer is probably that he needs to start seeing an internal medicine specialist again, cuz i'm getting really sick of being passed around the office & subjected to these guessing games. i know that's how veterinary diagnostics work but... i'm just frustrated. they don't follow up or follow through. i was technically supposed to already have a referral to an internist. he was supposed to have an ultrasound like 6 months ago. plus they told me that nobody in town does radioactive iodine treatment for hyperthyroid cats & that's not true.

idk. i'm just writing. i like to talk about veterinary details cuz i guess it helps me feel more in control. i've been working on this cat's cascade of problems for 11 years. god doesn't want this cat to be, but i know better than god. also the vet said "he could have a few more years left" & that really bothered me because he's ONLY 12. i know he's been through a lot but he's gonna live to be 20 at least. all my cats live forever. don't make me think about my cat's mortality when my dog just died last year.

[sagescented]

Last night I had a minor breakdown around bedtime about always being tired still; how no matter what I do or how I try to conserve my energy, nothing seems to work; and how the new issue seems unattached from my Fibro and doesn't play by any kind of rules or respond to any kind of structure as far as I've been able to figure out. And I'm just so exhausted by it, and by not being able to do anything without getting exhausted within seconds 90% of the time.

Today I woke up and finally stopped putting it off and called my Chiropractor to make an appointment for a full adjustment. I haven't had one since February / March when I was dealing with my Lower Back Strain and Piriformis Syndrome. Mostly because they moved locations while I was down, and my brain was fighting me about "going to a new Chiropractor" even though it's the same one. Gotta love Autism sometimes. It's getting to the point I really need an adjustment, though, and I can't keep putting it off. So now I have an appointment for tomorrow.

Also called my GP to let them know that the antibiotics they gave my Husband are working, so he shouldn't need any followup care. Which is very good news we're both happy about.

Tried to refill my Meloxicam, though, and got told no by Insurance because "it's too early". So here, soon, even if I titrate my dose down to half, I'm going to be out of it and back on Tylenol Extra Strength to keep my joint pain down. And I'm not really looking forward to it. But I have an appointment with my GP next week, so hopefully it won't be too long and we can just call in a new script for a modified dosing and just get around the system. We never did update it when she started having me take 2 anyways- which is part of why I'm in this mess right now. Oops.

Other than that, I was going to try and finally clean the stairwell today. But it's Tisha B'Av, so I probably shouldn't do that. It'll have to wait until tomorrow. Which means that my adulting list for the day is officially done and all I need to do is my 2 meditations- and then I can veg out and watch Chicago Med some more.

[jodilin65]

SUNDAY, MARCH 24, 1991 God, I wish moving day would hurry the fuck up and arrive. 8 more days!

I spoke to Andy last night. He’s really happy. He says it’s beautiful and that there are so many stores, and everything’s cheaper, including a movie theater with current movies that only cost a buck. He also says that even though Phoenix is a huge city, it’s spaced out so you don’t feel claustrophobic. He says maybe I’ll be out there sooner than I think, and says he misses me. I miss him, and Donna sounds really nice. I had spoken to her here before Andy left. Her mother Diane sounds nice, too. He says there are tons of singing contests and that no doubt talent agents go there and there are 22 gay bars. Can you imagine 22 gay bars?

I’m so psyched to move, but wanting to be what I want to be means I’m gonna need to get out of the area in a few years. I don’t want to ever have to say goodbye to Kim, either. Or Steve. Steve sounds really eager to check out Deerfield for himself too, after I told him all about it.

Kim’s so in love with me. I mean really. She told me how she had another wet dream about me, but she really is sincere and true straight from the heart. Even though I’m not sexually attracted to her she’s so right as a person. That’s the way it always works. Sexual attraction may be forbidden, but no more settling! I’ve done that for 25 years. If not getting someone who I’m attracted to inside and out means being alone, I’ll be alone. Plus, why get what I want for just 2 or 3 weeks?

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 20, 1991 I feel shitty, so I’m not going to write much. I couldn’t fall asleep till almost noon yesterday and I had to get up at 6:00 and then an hour later I went grocery shopping. I have felt very groggy all day. Or night, I should say.

Kim called about a vacancy next door to her. She’s going to talk to the owner, but it’ll no doubt be too expensive.

I’m dead tired so I’m going to bed now.

TUESDAY, MARCH 19, 1991 Now I’m even more pissed than I was last night as these antibiotics are like speed. I’ve only slept 2 hours in 30 hours. I just spoke to Kim about it and I think Andy tried to call me this morning. I know he called Brenda but when he called me, I never got to the phone in time. It turned out that Kim wouldn’t have been able to come down last Saturday anyway. I pray I don’t sleep too late tomorrow. I need food, then Wed. I see Martha.

Kim is such a super person. I’m so grateful for her helping me take care of this infection, getting me out of Crack Alley and much more. I told Kim about my ear surgery on building my outer ear and about going to Mass Eye & Ear Infirmary 3 years ago. I told her how the chief of ear surgery took CAT scans which they didn’t have when I was little, and determined that if he opens the closed-up opening, I should hear. I also told her the operation never got done as no one wanted to bother taking me and I didn’t want to disrupt their lives. There’d be a few visits besides the operation itself and several follow-ups. I explained I was too chicken to go alone and didn’t have the money for all these bus tickets back and forth from Boston. Also, the hospital people would never let me go home by bus after having major head surgery. Lastly, I told her with mom being 1400 miles away and Tammy with 3 kids, a husband and a business, there was no help there, either.

She was just as thrilled at the thought as I was even though I tried to block it all out of my mind. I tried telling myself I was born partially deaf, stay that way, it’s nothing new. Her eyes watered as well as mine and she half begged, half demanded she take me through this operation maybe this summer. She said it would thrill her and make her just as happy.

Also, she said I’m stuck with her no matter what. That’s ok with me as she’s one in billions of decent people I can ever get. I told her 3 or 4 years ago, she’d have run like hell and she said, “You never know. You may have been surprised.”

MONDAY, MARCH 18, 1991 Boy, am I pissed at myself and frustrated in general. I just can’t kick my schedule back on days. Bill’s coming tomorrow and I need to go do some food shopping. Also, I want to see Jessie before I leave to get my bathing suits back and see if she wants Toffee. I’m sick of taking care of him. Besides that, I have not seen Jessie or her son in ages.

Both Kim and Andy probably aren’t too happy as I was sleeping when they were due to call.

Yesterday I woke up after 4 hours with an attack. It’s always 4 hours after going to sleep. I woke up mega congested and was so bloated that I could say I was 4 months pregnant and be believed. So, Kim called on her break and came and brought me to the ER.

The doctor I liked took care of me in Fast-Track as the main ER room was swamped. Even though she’s married, me, Kim and several others who work there feel she’s bi. She drops enough hints anyway with the way she was looking at me and asking me all kinds of questions about my being gay with utter interest and fascination. She even told me she liked my underwear. Thought they were quite cute.

My problem turned out to be not a yeast infection but rather a urinary tract infection and I let it go too long. That’s why the congestion never got any better. When you have two different infections and you take medicine that kills only one of them, the other one worsens while the first infection comes back. She gave me Seldane to take along with my Theodur and an antibiotic called Bactrim and crotch cream to ease the irritation.

I received a check from fuel assistance for $488.

I really want to get a new stereo, but first I’ve got to start getting boxes.

Kim came over after Friendly’s, after the ER and took back with her some packed boxes. She was supposed to bring them back over and get more stuff when I fucking overslept.

SUNDAY, MARCH 17, 1991 Well, Andy’s now in New Mexico and will be arriving in Phoenix tomorrow. I haven’t spoken with him since he left on March 12th except for last night. He either calls collect or I call him since it’s Kevin’s problem. I don’t know if I remembered to write about that or not but when Andy was here, he got the phone put in that name and he gave a phony social security number.

When I move the phone will be under Maria S and it’ll be listed. My monthly charge will be $16 and whatever cents. I will not have call-waiting as that has become a major annoyance. Especially if I’m talking long distance or having a serious talk and don’t care to be interrupted. Call-forwarding I don’t need as Kim and I plan to keep our front doors open, therefore, I’ll hear my phone if it rings. I can live without 3-way calling for a while. In Deerfield, they only have pulse dialing anyway.

When I went to call the phone company here in Springfield, they insisted on speaking only to dear old Kevin himself. So I called Hank, my old neighbor from Oswego St., to be Kevin and he did.

I have arranged for Nervous to collect my final bill and either ditch it or keep it. Of course, he’ll keep it. Of course, he’ll probably open it and read it, but that’s fine with me.

Nervous hasn’t gotten his butt up here yet as he’s been working almost 70 hours a week. He says he will as soon as he finds the time. Also, he sounds impressed by Deerfield and my new apartment. I wish Feinstein’s and the Bucket of Cruds would fire him till April 1st.

I have had some very pleasant talks with Mary who still feels bad about what she did. She should, too. I told her that after what happened I was tempted to go to her workplace and make mincemeat out of her there, but didn’t want to get jumped by lots of people who worked there or were customers. I also didn’t want to get arrested either. She said, “I don’t blame you.”

SATURDAY, MARCH 16, 1991 Since I haven’t written in a while, I shall update the last two subjects I wrote about. First of all, I guess there isn’t an arrest warrant out for me. It’s really weird, though, as I came home one afternoon and found a subpoena shoved under my door. It said I must go to court on March 21st. That’s crazy as I never knew they gave you second chances. I’m not sure yet what I’ll do about it, but I sure as hell ain’t worried. Nor do I really give a damn as again, Jenny got what she deserved.

As far as Brenda goes, I did not speak to her for a few days after she snapped me out, but after that, we had some decent talks. She said it’s the coke that’s screwing her up and ruining her life. I admire the fact, once again, that she can admit she’s got a problem but I don’t want to be involved with her cuz of it. Also, the fact that I’m not attracted to her and that she’s not my type still stands. I guess I can now understand some of those that dumped me all the while saying I wasn’t a bad person. I’m not a bad person, just not their type. I just want to be alone more than ever for 10,000 reasons. There’s nothing wrong with being alone, though. Me, myself, and I make a great team.

So, my other news is that Andy left on March 12th. I feel he took a great piece of me with him. I feel alone. I miss him. However, I’m happy for him at the same time. Also, I’ve had a lot of problems with him so I’ll enjoy the break from that.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 6, 1991 Well, now there’s a warrant out for my arrest (I think). I wonder if sweet little Jenny will call me about it. Oh well. When I’m ready to take care of it I will.

I am now at CC waiting for Martha. I took the bus here as I am in no mood to associate with Brenda. She’s doing everything I used to do which I haven’t done for many months. She pushes me away and she takes her anger out on me and it all always comes down to sex. She said she wanted to make love to me one more time before I move. I told her I didn’t feel it would be a good idea cuz of how she always says she’s all or nothing. She says she can’t have sex every now and then. She says it’s for memories and that she’s not asking for sex once a week. I told her again, as a reminder, I broke it off with her cuz I felt I wasn’t what she wanted and that we didn’t have enough in common. I also told her I felt it was the right thing to do. It’s happened to me so much and it happens to everyone else all the time, too. This is the 90s. So, last night she was grouchy and she snapped at me.

My hatred towards people only continues to grow and grow. I’m sick of people!

MONDAY, MARCH 4, 1991 I got that apartment!! It’s gorgeous, but it is a little different than Kim’s. I like it better.

Kim and I spoke with Mom and at first, she refused to listen, then Kim melted her right down to the ground. I knew she would. Mom was impressed with the area, which she’s familiar with, everything the apartment has to offer, the price, and Kim and Mark. She kept telling Kim she was a guardian angel. That is true in a way.

I’m moving on April 1st and I’ve sent Russ a written notice. Brenda and Jimmy are also moving on the 1st. Jimmy bought a house here in Forest Park and Brenda’s moving to Palmer. Bonny moved this March 1st.

The night I saw the apartment, Kim and I went roller skating at Interskate 91. I had a blast. I hope to get new skates, though, cuz mine suck. They’re outdoor skates anyway.

Kim came over today and brought back with her some odds and ends. Big bulky stuff that’ll take up valuable box space.

I forgot to mention I had a really good talk with both Nervous and Mary D.

Also, I was right all along about Kim. Kim is very happy with Mark. He’s a great guy but Kim feels he’s too quiet and not exciting in bed. I guess, even though Mark is 28, he’s only been with one other girl before Kim. Kim also told me that she had a wet dream about me and that she’s fantasized about both males and females. Whether Kim is married or not, she’s definitely my type pretty much, but why are they always ugly? I mean Kim’s not ugly, but she’s plain. Even Brenda’s better looking. It goes to prove more and more that God forbids sexual attraction for me personally for some reason.

[timeoverload]

Today was bad and I'm glad it's over already. I did 25 cases between 7 and noon and had 3 rooms going at the same time while trying to manage the department by myself because so many people were gone again. I definitely overexerted myself and I was stressed about other stuff and I ended up having a panic attack and throwing up. My anxiety is out of control today. My stomach is still in knots but at least I'm home now. It was nice of them to let me leave 3 hours early because that never happens anymore. I hope I start feeling better soon but I'm planning on just going to bed after I finish writing this.

The good news is that tomorrow I'm going to be celebrating because it has been 2 years since I survived sepsis. I got sepsis because I had a horrible kidney infection and acute cystitis that didn't respond to treatment initially.

The week before I was admitted to the hospital, I had to go to urgent care because I was so sick that I was losing control of my bodily functions. My kidneys and liver weren't functioning properly and were starting to shut down so my skin was turning yellow. I was so nauseous and couldn't eat and my right kidney hurt so bad. I remember my ex was fighting with me that afternoon because he needed attention and didn't care that I wasn't feeling good. His needs were always top priority. I still remember how he berated me because I didn't have the strength to satisfy him and he was really mean to me when he didn't get what he wanted. He didn't take me seriously at first when I told him I felt like I was dying because I always felt bad and also tried to make me go out and do stuff anyway even though I could barely stand up straight. He didn't seem to notice or care how bad I looked or that I was shaking. He finally agreed to take me to urgent care because I was having a hard time breathing and couldn't control my bladder and I was bleeding. I remember going in the bathroom and looking in the mirror and seeing a corpse staring back at me. When we finally got to urgent care, I had never been so confused and disoriented in my life and I struggled to fill out the paperwork without collapsing. I received oral antibiotics and a shot of Rocephin in the butt and that was extremely unpleasant. That made some of the symptoms subside temporarily but the infection didn't go away and it got worse as the week went on. Antibiotic-resistant infections are so scary and are becoming more prevalent.

I was in so much pain that week before I went to the hospital that I spent most of my time curled up on the couch in the fetal position and screaming a lot because I couldn't help it. I knew the medicine wasn't working and I was scared. I remember my ex coming home angry because I had been off work for a couple days due to the issues I was having. He thought I was being dramatic when I was crying. He was mad because I had been home and I wasn't doing any cooking or cleaning or being productive and so I had to get up and force myself to clean some stuff so he would get off my ass. It made me feel so much worse but he didn't care. I literally had to beg him to help me with things. The next day I made a doctor's appointment because I couldn't take the pain anymore. If I wouldn't have gone to the doctor when I did, I probably would be dead. She told me I needed to be admitted to the hospital immediately and so I went and had to spend the night by myself because of covid restrictions. I was so dehydrated that it took them forever to get the IV in my arm. They kept stabbing me with huge needles and running tests and took so much blood from me. I was on IV antibiotics for 24 hours. It was a lonely and painful experience but I'm glad I pulled through. That would have been a very excruciating death. I'm thankful for modern medicine but I'm also afraid of being hospitalized now.

During the night I spent in the hospital, I spent a lot of time thinking about how unhappy I was with my life at the time. Even though I felt like shit, that was the first night I had spent alone in years and I couldn't believe how peaceful it was. It felt like the veil had been lifted from my eyes. That was when I officially decided that I was ready to leave my ex after contemplating the decision for a long time. It took years to build up the courage. I told myself I had to find a way leave if I survived. I didn't know how. He tried to be really nice to me after I was released from the hospital and shower me with gifts but I was so done after how he treated me. I was always loyal to him for almost 10 years, even when he treated me like garbage and was talking to other women. He kept trying to have an open relationship because he wanted to date other people but still have control over me. I never talked to anyone else. Going to get tattooed and going to work were the only things I was able to do by myself. He didn't really like that I was getting tattooed all the time though and would fight with me about it. I will just admit right now that going to the tattoo shop and seeing Maxwell was the only thing that made me happy at the time because I felt safe and accepted there. I wish it wouldn't have taken so long to get away from my ex and I thought I was going to die if I tried to leave but I'm glad I did it. I had to make a plan for myself and rebuild my strength. I was so afraid for my life but I didn't give up.

I tried to reach out to people to get help for months before I actually left because I didn't think I could do it on my own but no one would help me except my dad. No one took me seriously because I didn't know how to ask. I was just so fucking scared and I didn't know what to do.

Maxwell I'm sorry I tried to bother you back then right before I broke up with him in November 2021. I remember how mad you were at me for trying to ask to text you when I came in for a consultation. I don't blame you. I'm glad you let me come back anyway. I think you misinterpreted what I wanted because I wasn't trying to be unfaithful to him in the process but I suppose I was in a way because I can't say that I didn't have feelings for you. I was just lost and needed help and a friend. I just wanted to tell you what was going on. I was afraid to mention it while I was getting tattooed and also was afraid to talk about what was going on online because I was terrified he would find out and hurt me. I was so stupid for even saying anything to you in the first place. I still get embarrassed just thinking about it and I cried so much that day. I was seeking safety and guidance because I didn't have any at the time. I didn't know how to help myself because I was so used to someone else dictating most of my decisions. I've always had a tough time speaking up when I need help and I think my parents could attest to that. I was unstable and feeling impulsive when I did that. You were the only person other than my dad that I knew wouldn't hurt me and that I could trust.

I knew you and I were twin flames from the day we met. I knew about twin flames before I met you and I didn't think you would actually come along so I think that's part of the reason I'm so crazy. I couldn't believe it. Before I met you, I thought I was just going to be miserable forever. You helped me realize that I deserve to be treated better and you have always been such a gentleman. Thank you for that. I didn't think I could meet a man like you because I have had so many bad experiences. I also knew you were reading my blog and that we had an unexplainable connection between us so I was just being delusional and dumb and thought you would come to my rescue at the time for some reason. I have been truly ashamed of myself since I did that. I'm not a perfect person at all. I know I have made a lot of mistakes and I'm trying to learn from them and own up to it. It was still innapropriate and wrong and I wish I wouldn't have done that. I guess you live and learn. I should have never tried to ask you for help. I'm sorry again and I understand if you can't forgive me for that. I understand why you didn't want to trust me after that. I'm so bad at communicating sometimes. I just want to be honest with you because I don't feel right not telling you the truth. I hope you understand. That was the only time in my life I have ever done anything like that and will never do it again because I know that I won't let anyone put me in that position again where I felt helpless. You did the right thing by saying no to me and not getting involved and I'm glad you didn't get hurt because I care about you so much. I suppose you did encourage me to deal with stuff on my own and I did it and I'm free now. When we broke up I was honest with him and I told him I had feelings for someone else because I know I deserve to be treated better and that I was tired of him treating me like garbage and throwing me around like a rag doll.

I'm glad I have chosen to be celibate since I left him and I haven't dated or talked to anyone. People at work try to flirt with me but I don't feed into it because I don't want that. I want to get away from it so bad and that's why I complain about it. I don't like dating apps because they are scary and I tried those in high school and ended up in some really bad situations that I wish I could forget about. I'm too afraid of getting my ass beat again so it's better if I just stay home and not talk to anyone. I have been thinking about how much inner strength I have gained by being alone. I get a little crazy sometimes but I'm not going to let loneliness get to me. I deserve to be with someone who will appreciate me and protect me, especially when my life is in danger. I would rather stay single than settle for anything less. All I want is to be able to commit and love someone forever and feel safe and happy.

I'm also going to be celebrating my freedom tomorrow. I'm happy that I have accomplished so much in the last 2 years and I've become a lot more independent so I'm proud of that. I'm not exactly where I want to be in life but it feels good to set goals and actually achieve them. I am still grateful that I was given a second chance to live even though it hasn't been easy since then. I have had to be a lot more careful because it is more likely for me to have recurrent sepsis if I get an infection in the future. I read a study recently about how people that survive severe sepsis have a higher ongoing mortality rate for years even after treatment. It has definitely changed me a lot physically and mentally and I'm not as strong as I used to be. My health has really gone downhill from there. It doesn't help that I was born so early and I have so many other health issues going against me simultaneously. I really need to keep trying to take better care of myself because I want to live a long and happy life. I would like to be a mom someday. I want to have a family. I don't want to be a statistic. I'm not sure how much time I have left at the rate I'm going but I'm going to try to make the most of it and count my blessings. I will continue working on myself every day. I need to try to be more positive because I know I am very lucky to be alive. I'm looking forward to going to my appointment tomorrow and I'm going to do my best to make it a better day than today was no matter what happens.

[lifewithinatarotdeck]

Trauma

Ophelia wanted to scream bloody murder. 

All of the records of Izuku’s past visits as well as the full exam today were staggering. Broken bones that did not heal properly, calcium scars, malnutrition, bruises, and records of STD testing at the age of 13! There are even side notes that they also suspected of child abuse and they still did nothing!!!

“I will burn this hospital to the ground.” Ophelia thought with an angry hiss before looking at the greenette still holding her tail. She had to be in the exam room a few moments later when he had a panic attack during the physical and she had to use her Silk Touch to calm the poor boy down. 

The sensation and exposure caused a flashback and his Quirk flared up and burned red in defense. It took a few moments for her Touch to reach Izuku and once he realized he apologized profusely, causing him to cry in guilt.

The duo gave him a break and asked if he wanted to continue, and he bravely nodded but had requested for me to stick around. He was still willing to trust us, and that made the serpentine even more protective.

We also broke it to him that he does have a Quirk once he saw the flames, and boy did that take a few minutes more for him to calm down again. He had a mix of emotions of happiness, confusion, fear, and excitement. The only thing we didn’t tell him is how his Quirk activated, as when we asked him about the incident with the villain, he did not remember anything after getting blasted by Katsuki’s shockwave.

Katsuki became even quieter when he heard that he may have given Izuku a concussion and some memory loss. It could be some dissociation the greenette had given himself for protection. However, it may have been a good thing to not remember his potential ‘death’. The blonde already has nightmares from that, God only knows how Izuku would respond to that.

Izuku was now back in the room with Katsuki and Recovery Girl was giving the greenette some vitamins and other liquids of antibiotics and pain meds.

“There you are, Izuku.” Recovery Girl said after administering the final dose of prevention. “These are just precautions, you don’t have to get more for another 2-3 weeks.”

“Thank you, Recovery Girl.” He said lightly, then looked at his green ‘wing stubs’. Ophelia could see the wheels turning in this boy and she giggled and shook her tail tip to distract him.

“We will take a look at your Quirk after we get you out of the hospital. It should be tomorrow, but for now, just rest. 

Izuku pouted and heard Katsuki chuckle next to him. “She has a point, Nerd. I know you are going to analyze your Quirk, anyways. But think about it, Izuku, we are in a hospital and there are oxygen vents in the wall. Flames and O2 don’t mix.”

The greenette went owl-eyed and realized that it would have been a bad idea. “R-right”, and written in his notebook about the dangers of fires. “Flames require oxygen and a fuel source like timber or clothing for a continuous burn. Heat is also essential to start the fire, and a spark for ignition.”

The others laughed at his red face for a few seconds once he realized that he was muttering out loud before laughing along once he got off his initial shock.

A ping sounded on Ophelia’s and Recovery Girl’s phones and immediately the mood changed, putting the two boys on guard.

Katsuki decides to ask, a sweat beading on his face. “Is it time?” 

The serpentine nodded and looked at Izuku. “Sorry, Bunny, but I will need my tail. The warrant has been issued and I will need to leave. Recovery Girl will be here as well as Mrs. Katsuki. I will come back once everything is complete.”

Izuku whimpered, reluctantly let go of Ophelia’s tail, and went to Katsuki’s bed, drawing close to his friend’s chest. Katsuki shook at the contact as he was not a touchy-touchy person, but he bit his tongue for the greenette and wrapped his arms around the shorter teen. Izuku was shuddering and they could tell that he was crying from the stress and fear.

“Don’t worry, Izuku. The bitch will die.”

—

Inko Midoriya was beyond furious. 

Her son did not arrive to meet two clients and apparently found a way to turn off his phone so she would not locate him. She had someone put a permanent profile on his phone so removing it would not be possible without her access key. 

One of the clients yelled at her for losing the opportunity and she had no choice but to return his deposit. 

“What is that brat doing!? Disobeying my orders, missing appointments, and now did not return home last night? He is nothing but an absolute failure!” Drinking sake to drown her frustration away, she continued to rant into the air. “Ah, what should I care!? He’s worthless! He will die the moment I kick him out!”

Just then she heard a knock on her door and she growled when she heard the sickening voice of her idiotic son.

“Kaa-san!”

Inko growled and grabbed the Cat o’ Nine Tails. “Dammit, Izuku! How dare you come here after abandoning your job!” She continued to stomp towards the door, snapping the whip. “I am going to beat your ass so raw that the moment you get fucked it will-”

Inko opened the door holding the whip high and froze once she saw Detective Tsukauchi holding a badge and papers, as well as Ophelia behind him, holding her TCPS badge and a recorder with her thumb on the record button.

“Midoriya Inko, you are under arrest for Child Endangerment, Child Abandonment, Domestic Assault of a Minor, and Exploitation of a Minor.”

Inko’s stomach boiled as she saw the warrant in the detective’s hand. Then she laughed. Protecting scum? They are joking.

“Good luck keeping me behind bars, hard to believe the words of a Quirkless Choad.”

Ophelia hissed and Tsukauchi held out his hand. “That may be true, Mrs. Midoriya, but the recording in my partner’s hand will be your downfall, along with evidence.” He then proceeded to handcuff the woman and put her under the supervision of Officer Tamakawa, whose fur hackled and hissed in displeasure.

“Detective, this must be the boy’s room.” Kaniyashiki said when she used her Quirk to open a door that was currently locked. 

Tsukauchi walked right into the room and immediately he could smell the cleaning liquids as well the lingering smell of iron typical of blood. He grimaced, looked into the trash bin, and discovered tissues with blood and something yellowish.  “Kaniyashiki, gather everything. The trash, blankets, and clothes, leave no fingerprint undiscovered.”

“Yes sir,” Kaniyashiki said with a salute and started using her Quirk to gather the evidence. “Snip-snip, the evidence is overwhelming.”

Inko was livid. “What is the point of protecting a Choad, they are worse than scum! You will never win the case, even with evidence.”

Ophelia hissed again. “Quirk or no Quirk, underage exploitation and abuse is illegal and can lead up to 25 years of prison time per charge.” She then slithered and whispered into the bitch’s ear. “Even if you do win, you will never touch or harm your son again, not without a risk of your former friend’s iron skillet.”

Inko’s eyes went wide and gulped in fear as the serpentine revealed who was protecting Izuku. Mitsuki would gladly take a murder charge to protect whoever she loves. She has seen her do it to a rabid dog trying to bite Izuku once, what a waste.

“Great, the crazy bitch was the one who ratted me out.”

[strangecowplant]

UPDATE 08/15

Now that I finally feel like I have a little time to sit down and write a bit I just wanted to explain a little more since my last update wasn't that detailed, I'm still super tired and really struggling with my mental health right now hence why I haven't gotten back to everyone yet but I need to get this out and I owe every one of you amazing people that have saved Teddy a proper update and run down of expenses

First up, Teddy is getting better with some days being harder than others, he had a little bit of constipation i assume from a mix of the food change, antibiotics and lorazepam plus the horrible weather we had and getting off the stress of constantly being at the vets but thankfully it cleared up in less than 2 days. I add a ton of water to his food 4 times a day to keep him hydrated so that certainly helped. He's still not 100% himself yet though; he doesn't come when called like he used to and isnt as talkative and sometimes seems a little more reserved but its getting better by the day so hopefully he can get back to being as happy as he was before. I'm doing everything I can to make him feel back to normal and its slowly working, every day his eyes are getting brighter and just today he had a conversation with me about breakfast! He's leaking sometimes which could take weeks to heal but honestly I'm just glad he's able to pee (he is peeing normally otherwise! he just has an old man bladder right now, after three catheters i can see why. it just simply means more laundry and floor cleaning which is fine) they're slowly getting less frequent as he builds control again

I didn't mention what happened after his last procedure so I'll try to quickly zip through that: we brought him home with the catheter in, it was a hell of a night but absolutely needed, he would not have survived if he was left there the entire night again with no supervision no assurance he was drinking or getting his medication, nothing. I didn't sleep, kept him calm and laying down in the crate, kept him drinking and everything. we brought him back there in the morning (they charged us again for this, even though we had paid the full hospitalization fee already and wouldn't have had to pay an extra time if we left him overnight, anything to get money right) so they could monitor him before the cath would get taken out later in the day. i had to be the one to tell them how to do everything which is still just so fucking nuts to me but whatever. went back later in the day (we dropped him off at 8-9am, went there at 3:30pm so he could have the full 24+ hours of catheter time) and as we were waiting we heard one of the staff blatantly lie to another customer which blew our minds; she was suffering with her cats getting fleas even when using prevention and asked if it could be because of the rodent infestation she was dealing with bringing fleas into the home making the prevention useless, the staff member without missing a beat said QUOTE 'rats and mice don't get fleas.' and tried to upsell her a different more expensive prevention medication made for DOGS. i was literally so shocked i couldnt speak but i panicked and went out the door as she left to at least tell the lady that dog flea treatment is toxic to cats, i was too flustered to even mention the rodent thing but i could tell she knew that already and seemed to know what she was told was bullshit. im still so fucking floored by this. after that as we waited in the exam room, i finally decided to look up the owner/vets name and found a pretty disturbing assault case from 2015 where he also lied to the police and court that made me feel like we really weren't crazy here, this man is a liar and violent and i just really wish i can somehow take his license away, nobody like that should be handling animals. anyway back to teddy, he got his cath removed and only after that and being brought back to see him was told he didn't eat or drink anything the whole day, i was never called and told this even though they had all day to. this is just a normal thing for them apparently, they just don't care to inform me about anything so i told them they should have called me and to get him hydrated right now. (not to mention they kept trying to feed him chunky gravy food for gastro health not urinary even though i told them he prefers pate and he should be eating urinary food??!??!?!?) he got a shot and we went home. after getting home i also found out that they weren't giving him his antibiotics correctly, he needed 1.5 tablets but the number was off and he was only given 1 by them (this is on top of them forgetting to give me back his bag of medication TWICE) everything they could've done wrong, they did. they told me to keep the cone on for two days to let his sutures heal (they never told me this the first two times mind you which i find weird?) so i did but two days seemed so short so i kept it on periodically for a few days after that when i wasn't around him, its off now and the only time he goes after the spot is for a very quick normal clean around the area, im constantly monitoring him and checking the area though

I got a call from them 4 days later (on wednesday bc they took an extra long weekend) asking about him and I told them that I will have a talk with the owner and figure out how I want to proceed when I'm able to take my focus off Teddys recovery a bit, I didn't want to relay to the vet/owner through the secretary because thats not right and also their communication is abysmal, but i did say some things about the complete lack of communication and negligence experienced and that Teddys recovery was completely halted and his life put in danger because of them shoving a full dose anxiety pill with a plethora of renal side effects into him he didn't need without my consent. It's been a week since that, I don't know when I'll have my head in order to talk to this vet, or if I want to see if I can talk to a lawyer first or what because this isn't something I'm used to at all, but right now my focus is still on Teddy

The cost in total ended up being $1,778.95 for the procedures alone and a couple cans of food, which was incredibly paid for by everyone of you amazing amazing people, you ended up raising $1,830.54 to save Teddy by the third procedure, of which that extra $51.59 went towards some more food for him. I've said this so many times now but this would not have been able to happen without all of you incredibly kind and generous people, Teddy is here with me right now curled up because of you all and I could never ever thank you enough for this. Thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart, from my moms, from teddys and the rest of my animals, thank you so much. We may not be out of the woods but I'm staying positive, he's here now and not in pain and healing which is what matters most ❤️

here he is this morning loafing on my nightstand for the first time since this started ❤️

I'll need to update his gfm page a bit to add on what I've written here but for now this post and its update reblogs are completely up to date with what all has happened as of aug 15!

edit: i did forget to add on something i want to mention just for documents sake but after bringing him home after his last procedure he was extremely uncharacteristically jumpy and seemed afraid of the water bowls around the house which isn't like him at all, i drummed it down to anaesthesia weirdness but he hasn't drank out of any water bowl or taps since coming back when he used to be such a good drinker, the jumpiness stopped but he only eyes the bowls and walks past. i am giving him a ton of water in his food which could make him not feel the need to drink but i still just want to document it.

another thing im not happy about is the fact he's now flinching from hands sometimes, especially with a cone on, which he's NEVER done, he's never known fear in his life so this is heartbreaking to see him squeeze his eyes and recoil or completely tense up and freeze if the cones on (i calm him and he goes back to normal) i don't want to think the worst of someone, but i don't trust this vet at all and with some reviews I've seen of animals coming home with bruises I'm just heartbroken for Teddy. I'm working through it with him and so far he hasn't flinched in a few days

please help me pay my kitties emergency vet bill!

ive never done this before but one of my cats just had to get an extremely sudden emergency procedure and i don't know what to do, my vet and i have reached out to a couple incredible programs here to help with the bill but one is less than half and the other hasn't replied back yet, i've already declined the blood work (CA$356) to lower the bill at the risk of possible underlying liver and kidney issues not being found but its still a monumental amount for us right now. i just feel so helpless

we had enough to pay the minimum deposit to get the procedure started in time thankfully, but we were already scraping by as it is and now we're in desperate need of funds to eat/pay rent/pay off any remainder of the bill. i am disabled without aid and have been unable to work/haven't worked since 2015 but am on track to hopefully start working pt this fall. i live with my mom who has 3-4 jobs including one seasonal job which needless to say is stressful and wearing her down. we unfortunately are stuck in the most expensive place to live in canada with the inability to save up to flee so the cycle is never ending.

this is Teddy, my typically very silly vocal happy boy who's not quite 2 yet, my comfort king, my little muffin who acts like a weighted blanket for me at night and eases my anxiety, his favourite toy is his pink unicorn poof, he loves car rides and he can shake paw!

he got a sudden urinary blockage last night with no straight answer as to why and progressively got worse as the night went on, i didnt sleep at all, i was panicking and bawling, naturally, and raced to the vet to get in as soon as the door opened. i assumed it was a uti which wouldn't have been as costly, but it turned out to be much more severe and life threatening. i never expected my usually extremely healthy boy to suddenly be at risk of that and im still trying to just process whats been happening

he needed to be sedated and given a catheter and some medication, the total bill came to CA$985.62, of which we were barely able to pay 500 of, and one program was able to donate 300 leaving a total of CA$185.62 for the bill. this, of course, leaves us scrambling for food and rent as well

i know there are a lot of fundraisers out there needing donations right now, and i really hate letting myself be so open and raw like this but even a dollar would help tremendously and i would be forever grateful for any help whatsoever, even a rb to signal boost is greatly appreciated <3

TLDR; my cat had a sudden life threatening issue and now we can't pay the full vet bill or pay for food/rent

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